#Pinned Post -- A Fixed Point In History

[aseriouscaseofmuses]

PINNED POST.

I'm an adult woman in her late twenties (26+). The alias I formally go by is Guillotina. If you forget that, call me GT. Now if I've warmed up to you, the following variations are fine: Tina, Tee, T, Tiny and/or Terror.

Used to be achasmembodied, and previously was acondemnedhouseofmuses. Powered up into one final form, #aseriouscaseofmuses is an independent host for many Canons (and 2 OCs) set within the confines of DBZ, DB Super and beyond. The Saiyan Lore crafted here's derived from the same sources specified on my main account, with the addition of Dragon Ball Z: History of Trunks, Dragon Ball Z: Fusion Reborn, Dragon Ball: The Plan to Eradicate the Saiyans (both versions), Dragon Ball Z: Dead Zone, & Dragon Ball Z: Bojack Unbound. The world building in general you'll see will include select elements from these movies as well.

Activity & Inclination: Low to Medium, Private & Selective, AU welcoming to an extent (depending on the muse), OC, Duplicate, Canon friendly & Multiverse-selective.

GUIDELINES • ORIGINS OF THE FUTURE TIMELINE & THE MULTIVERSE • GOOGLE SITES (ALMOST COMPLETE!) • PROMO.

QUICK NOTES ON CANON DIVERGENCES:

FUTURE TRUNKS • BARDOCK • CUMBER • BLACK.

Affiliates of the blog (and for certain muses): @hopefromadoomedtimeline, @scarlxtleaves/@thuganomxcs/@peoplcshope, @amitsuma & @clairvoyantcubes/@roseplendence.

Main blog: @acoldsovereign.

[darlingofdots]

What is a romance novel, really?

So far, the response to this post has mostly shown me that a lot of people don't actually know what a romance novel is, and that's okay! I don't expect everyone to know! However, for my own peace of mind, I am going to do my best to explain what we mean when we talk about romance novels, where the genre comes from, and why you should not dismiss the pastel cartoon covers that are taking over the display tables at your nearest chain bookshop. Two disclaimers up front: I've been reading romance novels since I was a teenager, and have dedicated the majority of my academic career to them. I'm currently working on my PhD and have presented/published several papers about the genre; I know what I'm talking about! Secondly, all genres are fake. They're made up. But we use these terms and definitions in order to describe what we see and that's a very important part of science, including literary studies!

The most widely used definition of "romance novel" to this day is from Pamela Regis' 2003 A Natural History of the Romance Novel, in which she states that "A romance novel is a work of prose fiction that tells the story of the courtship and betrothal of one or more [protagonists]."* People also refer to the Romance Writers of America's "a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending" and another term you will see a lot is "Happily Ever After/Happy For Now," which posits that the protagonists must be in a committed and happy relationship at the end of the novel in order to count as a romance novel. That's it. That's what a romance novel is.

Of course it's a bit more complex than that; Regis also posited the Eight Essential Elements which describe the progression of the love plot over the course of the book, and there's a similar breakdown from Gwen Hayes in Romancing the Beat that is intended more as writing advice, but both of these are really useful for breaking down how this narrative structure works. My personal favourite part of the Eight Elements is that the romance opens with a definition of the society in which the protagonists exist, which is flawed in a way that oppresses them, and then the protagonists either overcome or fix it in a way that enables them to achieve their HEA. A lot of social commentary can happen this way!

It can also be a bit difficult to pin down what exactly counts as a "central love story" because who decides? A lot of stories have romance arcs in them, including dudebro action movies and noir mystery novels, but you would never argue that the romance is the central plot. A lot of romance novels have external plots like solving a mystery or saving the bakery. A useful question to ask in this case is whether the external plot exists for its own sake or to facilitate the romance: when Lydia runs off with Wickham in Pride & Prejudice, it's so that Lizzie can find out how much Darcy contributed to saving her family from scandal and realise her own feelings for him. The alien abduction in Ice Planet Barbarians happens specifically so the abducted human women can meet and fall in love with the hunky aliens. There are definitely grey areas here! Romance scholars argue about this all the time!

I have a suspicion that a lot of people who responded to the post I linked above are not actually romance readers, which is fine, but it really shows the lack of understanding of what a romance novel is. I have a secondary suspicion that the way we have been talking about books has contributed to this miscategorisation in a lot of people's minds, because especially with queer books we will often specifically point out that this fantasy book is f/f! This dystopian novel has a gay love story! This puts an emphasis on the romance elements that are present in a book when a lot of the time, the romance arc is just flavouring for the adventure/uprising/heist and we are pointing it out only because its queerness makes it stand out against other non-queer titles. It makes sense why we do this, but there is SUCH a difference between "a sci-fi book with an f/f romance arc" and "an f/f sci-fi romance." I could talk for hours about how the romance genre has evolved alongside and often in the same way as fanfiction and how there are codes and tropes that come up again and again that are immediately recognisable to romance readers, even down to phrases and cover design, and how romance is an incredibly versatile and diverse genre that functions in a very specific way because of that evolutionary process. The same way that dedicated fantasy readers can trace the genealogy of a given text's influences ("this writer definitely plays a lot of DnD which has its roots in the popularity of Tolkien, but they're deliberately subverting these tropes to critique the gender essentialism"), romance readers are often very aware of the building blocks and components of their books. These building blocks (that's what tropes are, lego pieces you put together to create a story!) often show up in other genres as well, especially as part of romantic arcs, but that doesn't make every book that features Only One Bed a romance novel, you know?

Romance is an incredibly versatile and diverse genre and I really highly recommend exploring it for yourself if you haven't. I personally read mostly Regency/Victorian historicals and I've been branching out into specifically f/f contemporaries, and there are so many authors who are using the romance framework to tell beautiful, hard-hitting stories about love and family while grappling with issues of discrimination, disability, mental health, capitalism, you name it. The genre has a very specific image in a lot of people's minds which makes them resistant to it and it's not entirely unjustified, but there is so much more to it than Bridgerton and repackaged Star Wars fanfiction!**

*the original text said "heroines" but Regis later revised this. There is a very good reason for the focus on the heroine in the first couple waves of romance scholarship, but that's a different post!

**neither of these are a bad thing and part of that genealogy that I mentioned earlier.

[subway-boss-jericho]

Queuing posts for most of my AUs! Check out this Masterpost! (Disclaimer! - Please don't comment about their iconic knife bangs! I left them off this reference to keep their faces fully visible.)

Ingo and Ingo and Emmet Hop The Multiverse

-Premise- On a day that would have otherwise been entirely unremarkable, Ingo and Emmet- Long standing Unova Subway Bosses -stumble across a very strange missing link. It would seem that, somewhere in the history books, there is a man named Ingo who looks just like him, yet they have no Sinnohan family lineage or any other sort of family ties that would lead them to believe this isn't some impossibly insane coincidence. Unable to let this strange thread go, the two of them decide to take investigation into their own hands.

With the assistance of some higher powers as curious and whimsical as they are, if not more, they travel back into Hisuian history and find... Ingo. A man just like him- A man who seems to have been Emmet's brother... But it doesn't seem quite right! Their benefactors can confirm that they don't have any temporal disturbances lined up for them, which can only mean... He is not Emmet's twin. Or rather, not this Emmet's twin.

Determined to return him exactly where he belongs and reunite this brother who fell so far from home, the three of them set off across the multiverse- Helping every other set of alternate twins they encounter along the way!

-Noteworthy Points- This AU is open for crossovers! The wacky adventures of Emmet, his brother Ingo, and his other brother who is Also Ingo. They've adopted him. It's essentially an open ended fix-it fic for me (or us!) to invent silly, emotional, or extremely unlikely scenarios for multiverse shenanigans :D

The two Ingos differentiate from each other with their clothing, and they also go by different names. Warden Ingo goes simply by Warden, and I haven't decided what Subway Boss Ingo goes by, but I think it's likely he often just gets called "Brother" because that is what Emmet defaults to calling him when differentiating between the two.

Speaking of their clothing! Their outfits are custom made! (Elesa hooked them up, they returned home to make plans and get to know Warden better!) This is primarily so they can distinguish each other from alternate selves, but also so that they don't accidentally lose each other in the shuffle. Warden's coat is still his original coat, just now outfitted/dyed to match the other two. His arm band is completely untouched, though. (Arm band symbolism, as you can see, is my fucking BRAND)

The logos on the twins' hats and on Warden's pin/tunic are a design I made :D

Lastly! They have MANY gadgets and doodads! Their benefactor tech'd them out for their adventures with lots of safety equipment and other items needed for cross-dimensional travel, and presumably they also watch their antics closely and with great amusement. I haven't decided exactly who is helping them, but so far we're leaving it ambiguously open to one or more legendary pokemon. (Dialga and Palkia are high up there but I have yet to decide.)

They are going to cause so many hijinks.

-Links- Currently none! I will update this post with links to comics/art/writing if/when I post any!

[runningincircl3s]

Nothing Ever After

Noah Sebastian x Reader x Vinny Mauro

Chapter Eleven

chapter warnings: NSFW!! half of this chapter is basically just smut lmao

apologies for the short chapter! the next few are pretty long so that'll make up for it :) once again a smut warning comes with a warning that i simply can't reread my own smut haha, so please ignore any mistakes!! happy monday :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You were left utterly speechless, you didn’t have anything to say to that and before you even had time to think of something to say back, he had taken his drinks and left. As much as you wanted to play along with whatever game he's playing, you couldn't deny that you felt guilty. You were hurting, and so was he, but you didn't know what to do to fix it.

As you walked back with all the drinks, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as Caitlin laughed at something Vinny said, acting like it was the funniest thing in the world. 

“After we finish our drinks,” you whisper to Noah as you sit back down beside him, “Why don’t we go back to the hotel? I’ll say I feel tired and you could say you’ve got a call you need to take…”

“They’ll still be suspicious,” he says, “Let's just wait until we’re done here, okay? We've got nothing else on for the rest of the day, it'll be just you and me. All night.” He smiles, his hand rubbing up and down your thigh, sending shivers through your body, but you nod your head. 

“It’s Bryan’s turn!” Nicholas cheered, turning his camera on to Bryan, "So far Noah's in the lead, Chris is pretty close and so is y/n! It's gonna be a close one."

“I don’t know why I’m still playing, I’ve already lost. You guys are all 50 points above me!” Bryan chuckled as he got up.

"C'mon, Bry, it's all just for fun." You smiled, and he shook his head as he went up to bowl.

In the end, you and Chris had the most points, and you only needed to score higher than 7 to beat him. He jokingly gave you a sly look as you got up, taking your turn. 

As you rolled the ball, you hit 5 pins in the left corner. You knew you had this in the bag! You’d easily beat Chris, there was no doubt. 

You rolled the second ball, and hit 4, leaving one in the middle, yet winning the game! 

You turned around, smiling as the guys cheered for you, all except Vin who was talking to Caitlin. You walked back to your seat, grabbing your bag and your phone, finishing your drink and grabbing Noah by the hand to pull him up. 

“My room or yours?” You asked, tilting your head as you looked up at him. 

“It’s gotta be yours, doll. I’m sharing with Matt tonight.” He whispered.

“Cool, let him know you’re coming to my room to look at the pictures I took, to see if any of them are official page worthy.” You smiled, “I’ll text you my room number.”

As you began to walk off after saying your goodbyes to the guys, who were staying behind for one more drink, you accidently bump into Caitlin as she digs through her bag for something.

"Sorry!" You gasps, and you smile, shaking your head.

"Don't worry about it," you notice how Vinny was at the bar with a couple of the guys, so you took the slither of time you've got to talk to her, "So how do you know Vin?"

"He followed me on instagram a few years ago, he'd always like my posts and reply to my stories. We try to meet up whenever we can- it's nothing like that though, we're just friends... Unless we're drunk in his hotel room." She giggles, and you smile and nod your head.

"Well, it's been great to meet you!" You say as you take a deep breath. You weren't jealous, why would you be jealous? She's a beautiful girl, he's a beautiful guy, of course they're going to get up to all sorts of things when they're alone.

So why were you so mad that they had a history, or that he invited her along today?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Fuck,” Noah groaned as you grabbed a handful of his tshirt, “I never thought this moment would come, where I’d have you all to myself.” 

You grinned against the skin of his neck, where you were peppering kisses before you felt the back of your legs hit the bed. You wiggled your way up, your head now against the pillows as Noah hovered over you, the most devilish look on your face. 

“You beat all our asses out there, didn’t you, beautiful?” He slips his hand under the sweater you were wearing, feeling your bare skin beneath his fingertips, “I don’t know whether to reward you for doing so well, or teach you a lesson for being so cocky earlier.” 

When you thought his hand would travel higher towards your bra, he surprised you, his hand moved lower, and you felt it slip under your skirt, under the hip of your underwear and rested it there, his thumb tracing over your pubic bone. 

“But you’ve been working so hard for us, I think it’s only fair that I say thank you.” He added, before asking permission to take your panties off. 

He moved his way down your body, your sweater now pushed up, exposing your tummy where he kissed a trail down to your thighs, yet he insisted your skirt stayed on. You knew what you were doing when you got dressed this morning, part of you wore it to tease him, and although you wouldn’t let yourself admit it, part of you wore it to tease Vinny too. 

You felt bad for him, knowing how you let him down, but you suddenly stopped thinking about Vin when you felt Noah’s tongue on your clit, kissing, licking, nipping and sucking as you threw your head back, strings of moans leaving your lips as you melted into the pleasure, letting it consume you. 

“So fucking gorgeous, you know that?” You heard him say. 

As his mouth worked on you, his hand moved its way to where you needed him. He teased your hole with his thumb, slipping the tip in before pulling back out, leaving you clenching around nothing as he smirked against your clit. 

“Noah, please,” you begged, breathlessly, “I need you, stop teasing.” 

“I know, baby, look how wet you are,” he said, pushing himself up slightly as he ran his finger teasingly slow through your folds, collecting the slickness before he took his finger into his mouth, “Bet it’s been a while since you’ve been fucked, hasn’t it? Poor thing.” He pouted before he dove back in. 

“Oh my g-” You slapped one hand over your mouth as the other tugged on his hair, you swore you felt him groan into your pussy as he brought his hand back up, his pointer finger slipping into you with ease, followed by his middle finger. "Fuck!"

His fingers fucked into you slowly, too slowly, but he knew how good it was making you feel and the noises you made as you were begging for more was music to his ears. He takes your thighs and places them over his shoulders as he sucks on your clit, his fingers curling into you, rubbing the spot you could never reach alone. He needed to see you come undone for him, he needed to watch your break in his hands 

He pulls his face back to kiss your thighs, the rough pad of his thumb now stroking circles over your clit, the slight stubble on his chin tickling you as sinks his teeth into your soft flesh, losing himself in the pleasure he was giving you. 

“I’m so close,” you tell him, “I’m gonna-”

“Go on, baby,” he tells you between kisses to your clit as , “Need to see how pretty you look when you cum, my pretty girl.” He mumbled into your flesh, as you felt your thighs tremble around him. 

It didn’t take long for you to finish, your walls clamping down around Noah’s fingers as he moaned into your skin. Even after your orgasm hit, he didn’t move, he remained between your thighs until you had to force him off, the overstimulation becoming too much to handle. When he finally came up, he roughly grabbed your cheek in his hand, crashing his lips into yours as he moved up, kneeling between your thighs, you could finally feel how hard he was, and you were almost certain he had gone commando today. 

“Noah…” You panted, your forehead slightly damp with sweat as he rested his against it, “Fuck me.”

“Anything you want, angel.” He smirked, and you felt his hands reach for the hem of your sweater, pulling it over your head, his lips parting at the fact you weren’t wearing a bra. As he took one of your boobs into his hand, you worked on undressing him. 

“It’s not fair that you’ve still got all your clothes on.” You tell him as his fingers tease your nipple. 

“I’m sorry, baby.” He says, slowly pulling back as he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his fully tattooed chest, then pulling a condom out of his pocket before pushing his joggers down- and you were right, he wasn’t wearing any boxers. “That better?” He asked, leaning back down to kiss you again. 

As you kissed, you felt his hips twitching involuntarily, his cock rubbing against your heat as you desperately tried to get more from him. 

“Noah, please…” You begged, “please fuck me, I need to feel you…”

"You're so pretty when you're begging, baby." He teases. “Are you sure?” He was watching how frustrated and flustered you were as you screwed your eyes shut and tried rocking your hips, needing more. 

“Yes!” You whined, and he pulled back, you guessed to roll the condom on, and with no warning, you felt the head of his cock nudge against your walls as inch by inch he filled you up. You felt as tears fill your eyes, the pleasure from his cock filling you so perfectly mixed with the dull ache from the stretch and the pain of him remaining so still inside you. 

He slowly began to move, his hand holding you down by your waist as the other pulled your legs to wrap around him, letting him fuck deeper into you as you cursed his name, your nails digging into his back. 

After a while in this position, Noah flipped you over onto your stomach, and he reached down to position you with your ass up for him whilst your face was buried in the pillows. He continued to fuck you like this until you came for the second time, muttering incoherent nonsense as your second orgasm took over you, but judging by the look in Noah’s eyes, he still wasn’t done.

He had you in every position, on every surface of your hotel room. From the bed to the desk in the corner, to the bathroom sink where he made you watch as you fell apart for him. You lost count of how many times you came, but just when you thought he was done, you were flipped over or lied down as he drove back into you, or got on knees to clean you up.

Hours had passed at this point, and the two of you were finally lying together on the bed, your limbs sore and your heart beating erratically as his fingers danced over the skin of your arm, holding you close with your head resting on his chest.

There were moments during your night together where you were using sex to release your built up frustration towards Vinny, knowing how much he would hate to know what you and Noah were up to, but you assumed he would be doing the same with Caitlin later so you assumed he wouldn't care.

"You okay?" Noah asked, gently twirling a piece of your hair before tucking it behind your ear.

"Yeah," you smile, tracing the outline of his stomach tattoo with your finger, trailing to just above his belly button, "I can't believe we just did that."

"I don't think I've ever lasted so long." He chuckled.

"Don't you go to the gym now? Your stamina would've improved." You point out, and he smirks.

"Yeah, I've been seeing the way you stare at me," he rubs his hand up and down his arm, "Don't think I don't notice, angel."

"Can you blame me?" You tilt your head to look up at him, "The last time I saw you, it looked like it would take one strong gust of wind to blow you over- and I mean that in the nicest way possible, that's literally my type- and now you look like you could bench press me?"

"So you're saying I'm your type?" He raised an eyebrow, a smug look across his face as you sat yourself up.

"No!" You tried to hide your smile.

"So what is your type?" He asked, his eyes meeting yours as he awaited your answer, but this only caused you to blush.

"I don't often like someone for their looks, it's always their personality. Someone funny, a bit of a nerd, has the same music taste as me, who stands for the right things... Someone who doesn't care about what other people think of them. That's what I find attractive."

"Y'know you basically just described me, y/n." He smirked.

And Vinny.

"Shut up!" You smiled, "So what's your type?"

He thought for a moment, and you thought he was going to give you an honest answer, but then he started describing you. Your height, your hair colour, your body shape, your eye colour, before you interrupted.

"Noah, I'm being serious!"

"You think I'm lying? What have we been doing for the past three hours, princess?"

"You... Really like me?"

"You haven't noticed?"

"Oh, Noah." You frowned, and he reached out to pull you back onto his chest.

-----------------------------

team vinny we might not be up right now but trust me everything's gonna change in the next chapter <3

@rumoured-whispers @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lma1986 @thisbicc @dominuslunae @miss570 @miamore0570 @jilliemiw86 @itsyaboinoah

[whatever-you-can-give-me]

i was talking about this in a reblog, but i decided to make this its own post, because i've seen some conversation that's expressing discomfort with stampede asserting that dependent/bulbed plants don't have souls, and that's not what's being conveyed in the slightest.

tl;dr: conrad's speech about souls is not something we're supposed to take as objective fact about the stampede universe — the thesis isn't dependent plants don't have souls, the thesis is oh holy shit, they're doing eugenics.

conrad's not an unbiased narrator. he's a half-dead, guilt-stricken eugenicist parroting the talking points of an obsessive cult leader whose history book was the bible.

so let’s break down exactly what the fuck we’re being told, because it’s not exposition we’re meant to take at face value.

(under the cut for length, spoilers, and discussion of eugenics, ableism, christianity, cults, experimentation, and sexual assault — both as metaphor and taken literally, as seen in ep11)

first, some context. we can't trust the exact visuals of what we see in the flashbacks in ep11, given that what knives is doing is explicitly memory manipulation, but we can get a few broad strokes about knives' childhood experiences:

a significant, memorable source of his understanding of humanity came from the bible. now anyone with even a passing knowledge of the bible (especially raised-xtian kids who had the opportunity or the obligation to read it at a young age, possibly to the exclusion of other, secular entertainment) will understand how much that explains. 

what the scene with the bible is also conveying, is that knives' mental/moral framework is a christian one. which, obviously — the eye of michael is evangelicalism but even more of a death cult. this also explains knives' fixation on the concept of "souls", but put a pin in that, we'll come back to it. 

knives and vash are painfully recognizable as gifted/neurodivergent/disabled children. vash is the underperformer, the high-needs kid — treated gently, told how he’s loved for how he is, but always aware of his own shortcomings. and knives is the golden child, the gifted one. he has powers (special powers, rem tells him, that he should hide from everyone, because if Anyone But I Knew, They Would hurt you — put a pin in that, we will come back to it)

finding tesla cements knives’ worldview that humanity will hurt and exploit plants given the justification, which makes him fear for vash, who can’t provide anything for humanity — but tesla also teaches knives that there is something particularly special about independents. something worthy of study. (see: knives still allowing experiments with presumably plant tissue to continue for 150 years)

and then we meet knives as an adult, and conrad tells us what knives believes: that he has a soul, and vash has a soul, and dependent/bulbed plants do not, that their souls are on some higher plane, and if knives gives them souls, everything will be okay. they won’t need humans anymore, because he doesn’t need humans. he doesn’t need to eat or drink. he can make all his sisters Just Like Him, and that will fix their exploitation.

this is, of course, some fucking bullshit. there’s a reason, narratively, we see vash communicating with his sisters before this reveal — they’re not “husks” or “soulless”, they move and react, they’re clearly conscious and sentient. they don’t speak, but they communicate, they act willfully.

so, what is knives thinking, where did he get it, and what’s actually happening?

our Context Pins, for context:

as much as knives believes himself separate from humanity, his view of the world is very human, albeit held at a distance from humanity, and very specifically christian

knives was told, over and over and over by rem, that he was special. that he had special, wonderful powers, and that made him different from everyone else. his brother, and other plants. he’s special.

so the train of thought goes like this:

plants are exploited by humanity (a true statement) => the only way for plants to not be exploited is for humanity to not exist (an understandable conclusion, given his experience with tesla) => but plants need humans to survive => knives is completely self-sufficient => if he makes the other plants like him, they’ll survive on their own.

add the golden-child personal superiority from rem’s… interesting parenting (believe me, she’s a whole different post on her own) and the concept of souls cribbed from the christian framework he was raised in, used as a placeholder word for whatever knives believes he has that his sisters don't, and it starts to makes sense how knives got from point A to point E(ugenics)

and it’s pretty clear we’re supposed to find this framework horrifying even before anything else happens, because — what about vash? what about the percentage of independents who don’t produce anything? who are conduits, specifically “useful” for communicating with dependent plants, who can’t communicate like humans. who eat food and drink water to survive.

that could be up to 50% of independent plants. who would die without humans regardless of whatever knives does to them.

and speaking of what knives does to them…

stampede is not a subtle show, especially not with its visual language. we aren’t supposed to listen to a word knives is saying, or take anything he says (or his lackeys/cult members say) at face value, because what knives is doing, in between breaking vash’s brain to get him to sit and stay, is using vash to assault his sisters.

there’s a reason the visual language of that scene is forced impregnation — whatever knives is doing to them, “souls” or otherwise, he certainly didn’t ask what they wanted before he did it.

[starstaxis]

@fragilehiggs

HOW TO IMPORT HIGGS 3D MODEL INTO BLENDER / MODELS FROM GAMES INTO BLENDER

figured id make this a post because it’d be easier.. might help other people too!!! on how to put higgs into blender. you probably know some of the stuff i’m gonna explain but for good measure will bring up. this is extremely long because its the sort of thing i wouldve massively appreciated but i unfortunately instead basically had to figure it out going off of little to nothing

—

blender is a 3d program that allows you to import models from games into there which can then be rigged, posed, and animated. people take these models from games using programs called ninjaripper or greyhound. essentially this just goes into the files of the game and takes out the assets. if it’s an asset, it can be taken out. you would then have to rig the model yourself (basically put a skeleton to pose it.) this takes very long and is inconvenient.

luckily, people do this for you. you don’t need to rip your own assets out and rig, which is a hassle and you usually need to pay for these useful programs. a great spot for getting models that have been ripped from games is deviantart. however, there is no telling how these models can perform. they could be badly rigged, or could have messed up textures. unfortunately, such is the case for the one and only higgs model… https://www.deviantart.com/kanbara914/art/Death-Stranding-Higgs-XPS-864224744

the good news is that i fixed the textures. the bad news is that the rigging is absolutely beyond busy. he is poseable, yes, but the amount of points there are makes it really hard to. i’m yet to figure out a better way and might start ripping and rigging my own models. despite having fixed the textures i am unsure if i can export the fixed version. thus.. another tutorial will come through on to do that. unfortunately it takes awhile. all of this requires lots of patience, trial, and error.

so, now, how exactly do we start? FIRSTLY, we need to revisit downloading blender. the current up-to-date blender will NOT work. you need to download blender 2.80, NOT anything else. well, how do you get an older version?

in order to get an older version, navigate to blender.org/download/previous-versions/ and scroll down a bit to you see ‘download any blender version.’ here is a good tutorial but i believe that it is a little outdated so i will explain it furthermore. https://youtu.be/WmlijP9D67o?si=QHhpOQ_D_0LWJP9M this is the one i followed however so, the premise is the same.

we click on download any blender version and it looks quite overwhelming. dont be too worried, you just need to look closely and scroll till you see Blender2.80 . we then click on that and you need to find your operating system. im going to assume you run windows, and if so, pick blender-2.80-windows64.zip from the list.

navigate to your files, and then open up the zip file that you just downloaded. click blender 2.8 again and then what you see is going to look a little busy. dont be fooled, its actually not. just scroll down and find blender.exe. press this and itll bring up a simple process -- all you should have to do is press a few buttons and optimize it like any other download for an application such as blender. it should be installed like regular blender, and if its not on your desktop, simply go to blender.exe in your files in applications. i recommend pinning it to your taskbar.

here comes the next step. there is something called xnalara. i will keep the history of it rather brief but its quite interesting. xnalara was an older program that allowed people back then to rip models from games and import them into the xnalara program. that program is rather old and i rather not use it, however, im thinking about looking into it. its good to use blender regardless because of its studio-accredited attributes. its professional.

some awesome dude later down the line created something called a xnalara add-on for blender. this allowed you to download models ripped from games posted on deviantart that are optimized for xnalara. the file name for these xnalara optimized models end in .xps . these will not regularly be imported into blender, because it doesnt support it. however, this add-on will allow you to do such.

im going to explain how to download it but watching this video regardless is essential. you will probably need to go back to it now and then.

since youre particularly interested in importing higgs, i will keep it relatively broad but touch on his model a bit more because i am more familiar but this process applies to most models. navigate to https://www.deviantart.com/kanbara914/art/Death-Stranding-Higgs-XPS-864224744 and scroll down into the description of the post. click on the link, mega.nz/file/y88wyQpS#eDkcsSmW… so on and so forth. it will ask you if you want to leave deviantart and click the link again to go there.

you're now in MEGA. this website will allow you to store downloads for people, and i can assure you its safe. i would never download anything im not sure of -- my PC is my baby lol. look down to the bottom right and youll see "SAVE" and "SAVE TO MEGA." pick save. it will download, and you need to look to the top right and click where your downloads are. this will take a couple minutes, grab some water and a snack. when its done, click on it in the tray to open it.

youre going to be overwhelmed by everything you see. do not fret! just close it, dont unzip it. just make sure it exists. you can close MEGA and deviantart now. you now need to refer to the video i linked if you want to follow along with more resources. we need to install the XNALARA add-on for blender 2.80 which can allow us to put it into blender.

before i continue i want to say, being familiar will blender as a whole will be an insane help. unfortunately the only way i figured out some of the stuff that i did was because i knew how to just going off of the program. most tutorials will not have answers for this small issues... but i most likely do especially for this specific model.

here is the add-on. https://github.com/johnzero7/XNALaraMesh . github will look relatively the same as it does in the video. look to your right, youre going to see a bolded 'releases', and under it, XPSTools v2.0.2 or something along the lines of that. you dont need to see the other releases, it's best to have the latest one. click on it.

its going to open up the description of the file. the above is important to note because it says it works with the blender that you just downloaded. if there are any issues for whatever reason with using blender 2.80 (approximately the version from ~2020) those are other versions which are applicable. for the sake of my sanity im gonna explain how to open it in blender 2.80 .

go down to the bolded 'assets'. under it you will see 3 links -- click on the first one which ends in .zip . it will download in the download tray. if your computer tries to flag it or anything as unsafe, click away from that and allow it anyways. this program has been used by thousands for years. it will soon finish downloading. MAKE SURE THE XNALARA ADD ON IS SAVED ON YOUR DESKTOP!!!

go ahead and open up blender 2.80 now. if you have the newest blender installed already make sure youre picking the older version. it will open a terminal alongside of blender, while its running. dont close it. click general.

if you have never used blender, please watch a video on the basics such as this one. https://youtu.be/Z8sg0nHNTTo?si=zjR4aBHVF8XX_Qdn this is the only way to realistically be able to attempt messing with said model, unfortunately. unironically, rendering roblox avatars was a huge stepping stone and aid to my experience with this. i genuinely recommend you do it before you try and do something like this. here is an amazing, step-by-step tutorial that needs no explaining out of the video. https://youtu.be/kpALOtLhX-Q?si=4UrhkBTIK5qYOBfS

from here, this is a much better tutorial to follow >> https://youtu.be/8mqUqob3P3o?si=14a50v88IPZx6O8Y . find yourself at the time stamp of 1:46, the previous is the steps you have already done. go back to blender if you have made it this far, lmao. click on the cube and delete that motherfucker.

look at the top toolbar. it says things like file, edit, render, window, etc. you want to pick edit and scroll to preferences. youll see many options but youre going to want to click add-ons on the left. then, at the top left, click install. go to DESKTOP and click XNALaraMesh.2.02.zip and click install add-on from file on the top right. make sure its the ZIP. this is gonna bring you to a menu with potentially many other downloads. scroll down till you see XNALARA if so. MAKE SURE IT HAS A CLICKED CHECK MARK ON THE LEFT.

go down to the three bars on the bottom left and make sure to save preferences. you can then close that and go back to blender. it will now be one of your downloaded add-ons available! go to the top left again and hit file, import, and XNALARA / XPS. itll hover and youll see another option. make sure to pick XNALara/XPS Model (ascii./.mesh/.xps) . click it and pick Load an XNALara model file.

this will open up your file explorer within blender. click desktop and click on the higgs model you saved earlier. clicking it will lead to 2 files, click xps.xps . press Import in the top right. it will take a hot minute to pull everything into blender, be patient. once its imported scroll inwards and look at the son of a bitch. the rig is gonna be highlighted orange and hes gonna be gray. click to anywhere other than the model and face the enemy.

due to the shading settings, his textures arent showing. simply go to the top left where you see 4 ish circles, the second one should be selected. select the one to its right, viewport shading, and give it a second to load his textures in. its gonna look nothing like him. youre gonna have to fix the textures, brave soldier.

--

will post another tutorial if you decide to go through with this or if anyone does because unpacking all of that is such a pain in the ass but i promise it isnt rocket science. just not gonna do it if it isnt asked for because i spent 3 hours figuring out how to fix it the first time i imported his model -- the creator says nothing about this on the download or how to fix it unfortunately and its quite janky :(

if you even made it this far in reading, congratulations, youre a winner. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK and i will answer them to the best of my ability.

SAVE THE IMPORTED MODEL TO REVISIT!!!!!!

[bisexual-horror-fan]

"How It's Always Been." Ethan Landry History.

Ay, ayyyy! So uh. I am just so, so into Ethan Landry it is fucking stupid. So much that I am posting this thing, a history mock up for Ethan of what I think life is like, this is angsty, family drama heavy, character deep, dive-y and includes some murder too! Enjoy it! I am gonna do some smut of him soon but for now, remember this is just my thoughts and headcanons and opinions, so enjoy this!

—

Rating. Explicit. Length. 2.5K. NOT READER INSERT. This is just about Ethan baby. Warnings: SCREAM  6 SPOILERS. Family Drama. Angst. Neglect. Abuse. Coercion. Complex Emotions. Mixed Morality. Murder. Blood. Gore. Ethan Is A Fucked Up Guy. And I Love Him For It.

—

Life for Ethan has never, ever been easy, or if it ever was, it was before he was truly cognizant and able to remember properly. Something always felt off but it took him a long time to be able to pin it down, and when he did it was like a glass shattering moment. The pane fractures and splits, breaking apart with knowledge that once received cannot be unlearned. Unfixable, even if you were to shift through the broken shards and painstakingly glue it back together your hands would be left torn and bleeding and the cracks would still show clear as day through the smudges of crimson fingerprints.

The biggest injustice in Ethan’s life was the worst one a person can suffer, the cruelty of total indifference. 

Have you ever experienced that? Being so totally and thoroughly ignored by everyone who is supposed to matter most? The people who share what is supposed to be a home with? Who birthed you into this world? Forced you the same way we all are into this shared experience we all call life, meant to play with the cards we are dealt. The middle of three and painfully ignored in all things in favour of his siblings. He can’t even be that mad at Quinn, to start anyway, it’s all about Richie, it’s always all about Richie.

He remembered the only good times and memories he had with his brother, when he wasn’t being a total fucking asshole, was when his needs and interests were being catered to and even then, not all the time. Filming his Stab tribute film was a complete mixed bag of some shockingly awesome moments mixed in with Richie having all the unwarranted, misplaced rage and self confidence found in a typical film bro who has watched one too many movies and swept one too many things Quinten Tarantino did under the rug. He was going on about how some aspects weren’t right, redoing takes over and over while waxing poetic about his fucking vision and berating his amateur friends and family who have never made a film or acted in any serious capacity before. 

Ethan used to love his brother, used to fucking look up to the guy but as he aged, rose tinted glasses gave way to show the truth of the kind of person Richie really was as well as the realization that he was the reason that their parents didn’t give a fuck about him. 

At first he tried not to blame him, Richie didn’t ask for all the attention but he sure as shit didn’t stop it either, and why would he when he is being so heavily catered to? His feelings about all of it were complex to say the least, going from real family caring about family, to disillusionment, to annoyance to anger, and eventually, outright hatred. He tried to get over it, tried to fix it and heal the hurt before it reached that level and the damage was permanent but Richie didn’t make it easy at all. From the lack of interest in Ethan’s life, hobbies, general well being, to the outright bullying he subjected him to at points. Richie is only a quarter of an inch taller than him but you’d think he was a full foot taller from how he acted so superior about the whole thing. 

Ethan felt bad for a moment when he found out about Richie dying, because a small, sick part of him was fucking happy. Experiencing joy thinking that now with Richie gone he was the only son, that meant something, now his dad would pay attention, now he would care-

Except that isn’t the case at all. Even in death it’s still all about Richie. 

At first it made sense, grief, mourning, sure, he was feeling it too to a degree, it was natural of course. 

But then Gale Weathers fucking book came out. 

Wayne is not the most reasonable man on the best of days, which a cop? Unstable? Unheard of. Then when the whole story came out and he read it, he was livid. Ethan swears some nights when he is lying awake he can still hear his father screaming, breaking things, tearing pages out of that damn book, yelling on and on about how it was- “Slander! That bitch can’t say these things about our boy! It isn’t true! He-he would never-”

Ethan isn’t exactly surprised. Richie was always really, really into not just the movies but the reality of it, the actual cases that book and film drew from. Wayne indulging in his habit by providing him with some ill gotten possessions of real life murder and crime scene evidence didn’t help either. 

At one point, when he was still trying to fix this, trying to salvage what was left of their relationship as family, he used one of his few talents and escapes to entertain his brother. He has a love for art, drawing, and has filled sketchbooks over the years with his sketches and musings. Mostly on the nights he would be re-watching a movie he had already seen, picked apart and analysed for the fifth time at least, something to help divide his attention and occupy his hands the night gaming didn’t seem appealing.  

He did a series of sketches in secret, he researched a lot to make them happen, and one night he showed Richie pencil outlines, red ink for blood, showing off various people from the cases, either dead or dying or whatever struck him as right. He thinks it might have been the time Richie was happiest with him,recalling the praise and excited ramblings, even if Richie didn’t know art, he gave it up for Ethan’s attention to detail and the visceral and violent nature he depicted in his work. 

“The black and white with only the blood being coloured?! It’s so, what’s the right word-Striking! It’s so striking.” 

Ethan tried to be happy too but it still felt hollow because it was all about what his brother wanted, when he tried to show him any non-Woodsboro or Stab related sketches he didn’t give them a second glance and certainly no compliment. Richie started making requests of even more intense extreme and grotesque nature, and then it became somewhat of an obligation as opposed to a project he was doing on his own time and for his own strange curiosity and enjoyment. Portraying these horrifying acts with starting realism was challenging and he had to admit that when he nailed the milky dead eyed look of a victim in a crime scene or the cross hatching was just perfect, he felt a sick and odd sense of…What was it? Pride? Amusement? Longing? It was a hard to define, outright miasma of emotions. 

The drawings get less and less as time wears on and his brother stops asking as much.

His dad is fucking insane, so is his sister, they say grief makes people do crazy things, but plotting to frame someone for murder to clear your son’s name is up there as probably one of the most extreme reactions one can have. He didn’t even really want to be a part of it but his dad and sister just immediately started talking as if he would be down, not considering his feelings or that he might not want this but that was how it was in his family.

No one ever thought of what Ethan wanted, they just assumed he’d go with the flow, the conversation “convincing him” was short, like they expected him to give way with a stiff breeze. So he had no choice, he lied, he said, of course he wanted to help, that he felt everything that they did but he didn’t. 

What he did feel was a misguided sense of hope, the idea that he might be able to have a real place in this family once everyone feels that they have avenged Richie. They can be a family again and now that he is the only son his dad will have to pay attention to him, and have to love him. 

Everything they suggested he went along with, all the convoluted and complicated details he was here for it and ready to do whatever they asked.

Wrapping his head around the act of it took some doing. Some late nights sat up wondering if he could really do that, could take someone's life, and after much internal fighting he decided it was worth it. What else did he have outside of his family? He invested so much time, so much effort, he couldn’t give up now, if this works then they can be happy and he can have everything he ever wanted, have them care about and for him. 

He wanted to show them as well as himself he could, if Richie could do it, so could he. 

It was around this time he showed his dad the sketches he showed Richie before. It did what he hoped, showed him he was serious about this, it curried some favour, he felt good, a sense of pride as his dad complimented his work. When the sketches were framed and included in the collection he actually cried that night, when alone, that sense of hope grew.

The plan formed quickly, Wayne and Quinn were obsessed and entirely consumed with it. He learned fast that anything he had to contribute would be heavily scrutinised and most likely rejected, he was just expected to fill the role they wanted of him.

As the plan grew it became painfully apparent that there was a lot expected of him, not only did he have to fit into the plan, play his part in the killings, he had to insert himself into the friend group, be there to help lead them where they needed to be and throw off suspicion and more. Quinn slotted herself in as Sam and Terra’s roommate and all the while had been frothing up a subreddit and online community dedicated to proving Richie as innocent and Sam as the true villain. He watched a few times and was present when Quinn would be going on her posting sprees, VPNs, fake IP’s and dummy accounts where tons upon tons of things were posted to push the narrative in the direction she wanted. It was honestly kind of scary, the dedication, the meanness she displayed. Ethan was glad he wasn’t on Quinn’s shit list, having her being not just pissed but willing and ready to dedicate large swaths of her life and time to tearing your life apart is terrifying. 

The lead up was a nerve wracking, what if he couldn’t worm his way in? What would he do then? It would cement him as a failure to his family. There was a lot of pressure to succeed but luckily, he and Chad got along really well. 

Or at least that is what Chad and the group thought which is what was really important. 

When it came down to it, after he was settled into the routine and knew the core group, it was time for the real plan to get going. The killings kicked off, he’d been amping himself up for it, trying to really get himself in the headspace to do it but something unexpected happened. Wearing the outfit and the mask, he chased down the victim that was supposed to be for practice, to make sure he could really do it when the time came, a totally nobody of a person, he managed to catch them with relative ease. 

The knife slid into that first victim and when he stabbed them, he felt alive, more alive than he ever had and also he felt seen. 

Even with the mask on, even though the person couldn’t see his face, their eyes were locked on him, centred in this moment, focused totally on him, the blade in his hand, driven into their stomach, it was shockingly intimate. A nervous lick of his lips behind the decaying mask, heavy breathing, his own chest heaving, an urge strikes, he follows the instinct he twists the knife. The body below him, because that is what it is, no longer a human, not a person with a life, thoughts, hopes or dreams, it is a body, one that is quickly dying, is going weak in the knees. 

Shakey blood stained hands clutching weakly at him, trying to push him away but he had stolen all the breath from their lungs when he forced his way inside, had affected them. He had changed them, is in the process of destroying them, altering them irrevocably, for the worse. He feels powerful for the first time maybe ever. He pulls the knife out and the soon to be corpse gasps, mouth open, blood on their teeth they whimper pathetically, he drives the knife forward again and it becomes a blur after that. Stab, rip, tear, in and out, back and forth warm sprays of blood and sounds of pain and anguish, wetness soaks through his glove and the robe and nothing has felt better. Being inside someone, turns out, no matter the context of the penetration, is a sensation he had been craving down to the marrow in his bones and now he was woken up to it. Knew what he had been missing. He craves it again, he wants more.

The strength it takes to accomplish the goal, to leave the body on the wet pavement, totally slack, eyes dead, skin turning cold, leaves him panting, sweaty and satisfied, staring down at the mess of red and spilled intestines. It didn’t feel like enough. Thankfully this is only the first time, the first of many, there will be plenty more opportunities to play, to have fun, to practise and get better, to forge new memories. 

Robe and mask in his bag, coat slipped on and zipped up to cover the blood that had soaked through the costume to his shirt, he leaves the body behind after dumping it into the dumpster. A trembling hand ran through heavy sweat soaked curls, he felt totally high on what he just did. 

No one expects him, no one is aware of the brutality he is capable of because of all the sheer frustration he has bubbling underneath the surface. He is going to show everyone that he has worth, he can do this. 

A chew of his bottom lip as he thinks and relives what he just experienced, vivid images and sound dancing through his mind as he is walking to the subway, thoughts of how this can give him everything he wanted. 

It’s all so clear, no one can ignore him with a seven inch steel blade buried in their body. If this is all it took to get a little attention and recognition, then he would have started doing it sooner. Richie was a self centred idiot, but he was right about this at the very least, killing has undeniable appeal that he intended to fully lose himself in, and finally things will change for him.

[newarch1ve5ofpromise]

PLEASE READ THIS-PINNED POST -Marilyn Manson was a controversial artist from the '90s-mid '00s. Obviously these days he's still controversial, but for other reasons. I will not be debating this or any other matter with anyone on this blog. If you've got shit to say, do it on your own posts. In the same breath, I need to mention that Manson himself is far from the only controversial member of the endeavor that makes up the whole of the Marilyn Manson project. I will not be debating any of them, either. I will not wash or censor history-who (or what) appears in these photos was there and the things that happened, happened. You and I can do nothing to change that, but it helps no one to edit the truth. -Manson has made a ton of work, from traditional art, photography, music, and other things. A lot of this features subjects that are 'not safe for work.' I will be uploading things that tumblr might (incorrectly of course) try and take down onto a separate page. But all the same, please be aware that this artist exists (to a certain extent) to provoke. If you see something you don't like, scroll on. -I'll be posting photos according to the era. I used to be able to tell just by looking-but I'm old now and my archives have been moved and rescued so much that they are in disarray, so if I misidentify the era and you catch and can correct it, it would be greatly appreciated. Just send the correct era/date/corrected information in a dm and I'll fix it. The same goes for the source of the image, photographer, and other people in them-if you know something I don't, please feel free to add on information. If it can be verified, I will edit the post so it is accurate.

-If you have a higher resolution version of something, please submit it or feel free to share it! -What's with the 'hierophant' tag? Back in the day, The Hierophant was a website and forum for Manson fans and a massive archive of images from all the eras up to that point. It was a formative part of my MM experience and now that it's gone, I actually have no idea who-or if anyone-saved those things, so I want to share what I have. The Nachtkabarett, project by Nick Kushner (may he rest in peace) once backed up all things Hierophant and more, and served as a sort of new version of the old site with a forum and archive, but has been left to stagnate, as presumably there is no one to care for it now. The site is broken up since Flash player stopped being viable. I'll be uploading some things from there, too, in an effort to preserve them. If you have rights or ownership to anything I post and you want it removed, contact me and we'll figure out what's going on. My utmost goal is to preserve the history of the massive art endeavor that Marilyn Manson was and still is, and no disrespect is ever meant or intended especially to those who came before me in trying to do so.

Finally, as I did back in the old days, every post made inside this 'era' will be tagged also with that era (currently we are in 'One Assassination Under God.') Partly, this is so newer fans have access to these images, but on the other hand, it's also shorthand for when, roughly, they were posted to the blog. Happy hunting in the archives. r

[triptychgrip]

Edit: images in my fic are now fixed!! 😅

Fellow Yuri!!! On Ice fans, need something new to read?

For a long time, I’ve felt like there is an almost criminally small number of "future fic"/married Viktuuri stories in this fandom, so I set out to change this, and just posted the first 3 chapters of a new story, link here

This story will be updated every week, and features happily married Yuuri and Viktor in the lead-up to the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics, as well as during various points over the years, post-canon (and also switches point of view). Viktor is prepared to support his two skaters (Yuuri and Yurio) as they battle it out for gold, but the past has a way of making itself known, even when everyone is trying to keep their focus on the future. The events of the 2018 PyeongChang Games completely transformed the lives and career trajectories of many in the world of elite figure skating, and it’s with these impacts in mind that our beloved YOI characters are looking to make history (again). 

In total, this work will be at least 20 chapters, and I’ve already written over half (ten chapters, plus various one-shots set in the same fic universe).

Below is an excerpt from Ch 1 to whet your appetite, happy reading!

“Let’s be honest, though, unlike certain other individuals who are much more practiced in calling me on my bullshit, I think Izumi’s hero worship allows her to let me off the hook far more than she should. All that ‘Viktor-sensei’ business, and whatnot.”

Yurio snorted. At Viktor’s raised eyebrows, he pinned him to the spot with a defiant stare.

“I wouldn’t worry about that too much, old man,” he said, scathingly. “All it took was one instance of you skating into the boards because you were too busy staring at Katsudon’s ass, and Izumi’s fangirling ended pretty damn quick.”

He felt Yuuri laugh into his shoulder and resisted the urge to pout.

“Though that happens rarely,” he replied, pointedly, raising his voice over Yurio’s rebuttal of “try twice a week, you pervert!”, “what I’m trying to get at is that you’ve deserved far better than I’ve given recently.”

[smokee78]

New year, new pinned post time!

Hi! I'm Beau! He or fae pronouns, I'm 25, I live in Canada. I like hands on crafts, writing, and making music. Though these days you'll usually find me playing video games or working out.

I'm downgrading my DNI. just know I'm transsexual, reclaim meaningful slurs directed at myself, and use Queer unapologetically (it's not a slur). Also I hate Baeddels and talk/reblog posts about transphobia, including transandrophobia.

I have NPD, Narc Abuse doesn't exist (there are ways to describe what happened to you without demonizing an entire traumatic disorder), I have Polyfragmented DID but I've final fused, Endos don't exist (and you can force me to "believe" in them. don't force your spirituality, religion, or personal beliefs onto others).

I haven't talked about it on Tumblr, but I started going to a United Church mid last year. I don't know if I'm Christian (still struggling to understand the whole "Jesus" thing and have a pretty bad history with him) but I'm accepting I believe in some form of God at this point. I love hearing about other practices and other Christian denominations and have many friends with different (or no) religions or spiritual beliefs and practices! DM if you ever wanna talk about this stuff :)

This blog has occasional kink and nsfw content, jokes and discussions. I do not reblog explicit photos or posts here (but if you scroll years back there is). follow at own risk or block that content using Tumblrs filters.

I vent here too occasionally, and do not have a fixed tag system for triggers. you can block the tag #diary if that's an issue. Due to memory problems, I don't tag individual triggers here (though I don't post gore or blood and only informational needles (with no images of injection))

[fox-daddy]

Incorrect quotes/edited posts I've seen in a pm seymore video.

But not as the arcana characters but as Arcadia fallen characters.

I know the player character has a name but I refuse to refer to them as anything other than player character. I also threw in my oc once in a while because why not.

~~~

Player character: pins an image of a galaxy on the notice board saying 'all my best fights happen here' as a joke*

Ann's writing underneath it: that isn't even our galaxy. Who, let alone how are you fight out there?

Michael's handwriting underneth: wouldn't you like to know?

~~~

My oc Hunter specifically @ Elizabeth in a joking tone: 'show your awnser' and 'explain how you got your awnser' and any other similar thing are the worst! Dont make me explain myself! I dont know! You taught me how to do this, you should already know.

~~~

Mime: I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy

Vil the character I made purely to be a jerk: I would. Pussy

Michael: I'm not going to sink to their level

Vil: I will. Coward

Victoria: I'm the bigger person

Vil: I'm 150cm tall. Give me the knife.

~~~

Ann: please retire the 'we are made from stardust' phrase. I'm so tired of it.

Michael: stars are made of flesh

Ann: I've changed my mind go back to the orignal phrase

~~~

Player character: just learned about history. Appalled.

~~~

Player character: TONIGHT WE DRINK FROM THE POND!

Victoria: NO THE FUCK WE DON'T!

Mime:already drinking the pond water* wait we're not drinking from the pond?

~~~

Some villager: I want to decompose in a bog

Quinn: well you clearly dont know the first thing about bogs.

Player character: being in the bog is like the opposite of decomposition. Get pickled idiot.

Michael: 'Get pickled idiot?' You know I might actually try and remember that one

~~~

My oc Kyle trying to be a bard; I once bought four sausage rolls, but little did the chasher realize I actually had five in my bag. The universe of course tried to fix this imbalance by causing a tear in my bag causing me to drop a sausage roll, but not so easily defeated I eat it anyway. The universe's counterplay? I got food poisoning. Total equilibrium.

The sparrow who just wanted to sing about the sparrows in:

~~~

Michael: is it route or route?

Mime: is it caramel or caramel?

Player character: is it either or either?

Ann: is it read or read?

Victoria: I hate all of you right now

Kaidan: your language is weird

Michael: you don't seem content with this content

~~~

Ann: how smart are you?

Player character: I mean I'm an alchemist appreciate so- *about to say pretty smart but gets interrupted*

Ann: I'll go ask Quinn

Player character internally:

~~~

Player character: 'apprentice acts like it's a job' was a sentence I did not expect to find looking up reviews for the shop.

~~~

Player character: every word that starts with n should have a silent g infront of it. Gnorway, gnuclear, gnervous system and most importantly gnipples

Michael: at some point my brain decided based on the word knee that body parts starting with n should have a silent k infront. Particularly the word neck. So I disagree with gnipples whole heartedly and think it should be knipples

Player character: how about a compromise? Gn words and kn words get switched. So now it's gnowledge and gneecaps. But also knome and knosticism

Ann: the problem with that is that it doesn't account for the orignal dilemma which is gnipples vs knipples. I for one think it should be pnipples like pneumonia

Michael: okay but what about mnipples like 'mnemonic'

Mime: this is the kind of discourse I enjoy watching from this group

Michael: female presenting gkpmnipples

Victoria: what the fuck are you guys doing, trying to invent neo-french?

Player character: dont you mean, gkpmneo-french?

Victoria: no, I don't.

~~~ the only modern day ones because it was too funny to me not to add~~

Player character: imagine if all the talking mirror tropes came from someone seeing a time traveler talking to their smart phone?

Michael: siri, siri in my phone, how the fuck do I get home?

~~~

Player character: I can't find my headphones and target is closed, this is a nightmare

Mime: just put an ant in each ear and they will sing to you

Player character: not a half bad idea actually

Michael: I read that wrong and thought you were still in the target after closing time and your biggest concern was lack of music instead of the creature

Player character: t-the creature?!

~~~

Ann: let's face it even when the video game says press any button to start you still push the start button

Kaidan: I once knew someone who would push the z button and they still scare me

Player character: I press the X button

Michael: I once pushed the power button

Ann:... do I even need to ask why

Michael: It is one of the many buttons is it not?

[skiagraphe0]

Pinned Post

About:

Fairuz or Fai, whichever you prefer

On AO3 @ Skiagrapheo

He/him

Over 18

Jewish with a Muslim father and some Buddhist leanings

US American (regrettably)

Schrödinger's white aka not white when someone is racist but suddenly granted whiteness when someone wants to talk over me

Queer. My type is people older and smarter than me with nice eyes

Language nerd! This is my special interest, 100%.

Neurodivergent. Specifically, ADHD.

Dyslexic and I'm sorry in advance if I botch your name as a result

I don't have a DNI, I just block people. Racists, queerphobes, etc. do not obey DNIs so this is just faster.

This blog is my mostly politics-free zone. I have multiple political scientists in the family. I need a break. I love them but I have had to hear them discuss the political history of Myanmar at 6AM when I have a migraine. I just can't do it anymore. I can't.

I don't do OTPs. Shipping one thing sounds really boring. "Which is the better couple-" whichever one is written best by the fic I'm currently reading. Next topic, please.

If you plan to whine about a man having a woman character as a tumblr icon or misgender me based on that: I'm sorry your dad never respected your mom to the point where a man liking a woman is a foreign concept to you. You must have had a very crappy dad to find this to be so upsetting. But your crappy dad and your resulting view that women can like male characters but not vice versa is more of a cry for help than I'm willing to deal with. I feel bad for you, but I'm not your therapist and I'm not equipped to fix what's wrong with you.

In general, when I hear 'cringe', what I hear is "I'm so weak a stranger's actions/likes/words make me upset even when they're harmless". If you're genuinely out here upset because someone you've never met likes a movie... you realize you've already lost, right? You're losing at life. You're so sensitive that I, someone with a mood disorder and neurodivergence, am over here going, "Oh, wow, dude, you need help." So please know in advance that the standard "ew you're a Disney adult!!!1! cRiNgE!1!!" thing people get for liking animation makes me quietly say a little prayer that things get better for you. If you were hoping for an internet fight or an altercation, you'll have to look elsewhere. I have better things to do than try to calm you down.

I don't do discourse. I don't care that someone shipped two characters but oh no, even though they're the same age, one is taller than the other or oh no, there's a 3 year age gap or whatever. I don't care. There are FOUR US states where it's legal to marry and have sex with a child at literally any age, INCLUDING AGE ZERO. Child marriage is legal in 37 states. Over 300,000 children have been married to adults in the US since 2000, some as young as TEN YEARS OLD. I don't give a damn about "uh Merida and Elsa have an age gap" THEY AREN'T REAL! I grew up in a state where child marriage was legal. I lost a friend to an abusive child marriage when she was 12. I don't want to hear about your fictional blorbos. Unless you're actively fighting to help end child marriage IRL I don't want to hear a word out of your mouth about fictional couples.

Fandoms: - Disney Dreamlight Valley - Frozen - Starsky and Hutch - Danny Phantom - Sailor Moon

Favorite Fiction Genres: - Gothic literature - Noir + neo noir - Reto sci-fi - Urban fantasy - Post-cyberpunk - Thriller - Classical literature (my high school didn't teach more of the books people on tumblr talk about, so I've been catching up) - Biographies - Historical fiction

Favorite Bands/Composers: - Yoko Kanno - Gabriel Fauré - Rina Sawayama - Swervedriver - Ghost - AFI - Kendrick Lamar - Strauss - ∆XIUS LIИK - Saltillo - Linkin Park - Korn - Tamino - Seether - Alesana - T-Pain - Altan Urag - Purity Ring - Reol - BABYMETAL - The Fat Rat - Void of Vision - Halsey

Favorite Video Games: - Detention (返校) - Yume Nikki - Nexomon: Age of Extinction - Abzu - Cloudpunk - Disco Elysium - Raji: An Ancient Epic - Stardew Valley - Baldur's Gate 3

I follow a bunch of blogs I don't reblog from. I have ADHD, I keep meaning to actually do tumblr regularly, and then I don't. Look, I'm trying. But sometimes I'm just going to lurk, like a moth.

[whanaukaretao]

Supervisor hui #8, 9, 10

21 May 2024

I'm getting behind with my blog notes about my supervisor meetings. So this is a quick summary of the last three.

Today (21 May) we discussed:

My literature review essay. I found an article about a utopian Maori city and Dave suggested I ask the library to interloan it for me. The library suggested Research Gate and I've requested a copy from the authors.

From the abstract:

"We drew on utopian thinking to imagine beyond the current constraints of urban form in Aotearoa New Zealand to consider how cities might reflect the diverse realities of Māori."

I told Dave about an article I'm reading for my literature review.

Kia whakatōmuri te haere whakamua: ‘I walk backwards into the future with my eyes fixed on my past’

He suggested I also check out Walter Benjamin 'Angel of History' and the painting by Paul Clay.

I updated Dave on my drawing classes - I started private classes yesterday with a Brazilian artist who studied at comic school in Sao Paulo. Our first class was on proportions. Today, i also completed my second life drawing class with school'd tech hub. I'm hoping that the drawing classes will help me draw the manga for my project.

I asked Dave whether I should create a new feature image based around a different time period - my current one is 80s focused. He said my 80s one reflected my lived experience and I should aim to stay authentic to myself.

Our next supervisor hui is on Monday, 27 May. Come with an idea of the work I'm envisaging for my mid-year exhibition. I'm thinking of incorporating the night time K Road vision into my video and Dave floated also including some of my drawings.

Last week (15 May) we discussed:

Reading I'd been doing on Maori futurism. I told Dave I'd read that Maori futurists had suggested that with climate change the only constant is likely to be the stars. So I discussed how I could should stars on K Rd and how this could be difficult given the brightness of the city lights. I floated whether i should try pin hole photography on K Rd, putting the camera somewhere secluded. he said at best i'd just get the sun's (?) streak across the sky. Dave suggested I research astro photography.

I mentioned I have plans to capture sound/audio on K Road. Dave said to check out British DJ David Holmes and his track 'Let's get killed'. Also said to check out frameworkradio.net - a radio programme from field recordings.

Dave suggested i incporate images from my K Road night shoot into a single image.

He talked to me dutone images and suggested I do an adobe tutorial on this. He recommended i get used to layering one person onto another.

We also discussed mapping my movements on k Road using google maps.

The week prior (8 May) we discussed:

This was our first supervisor meeting after the holiday break so was essentially a review of the seminar crits.

I recapped my takeaways from the crits (noted in a previous post).

I mentioned that my doodles over the eyes of my mum and grandfather to signify they had robot whakapapa had been described as "aggressive" in my crit. Dave said this was because there was a whole art thing around this - pointing to the stalinist period of erasure of photographs for example.

[sincerely-krp]

・❥・

hello, we will be monitoring the au discourse to make sure no misinformation is spread! we've already received a death threat, which is why we're drawing a line in this specific instance. there's a big line between being petty, venting, even being krpc levels of toxic or messy, and then being actively harmful to our blog (reporting us, sending us death threats, spamming our inbox with tons of spam claims to try and defame people involved, all at once consistently). this conversation started with a lot of constructive opinions and discussions, and moved into clarifying issues that were played against potentially innocent groups with communities not in our audience, and we want to keep it constructive as much as possible.

if you are submitting an anon with claims against what statement we have posted in our context as a result of our proof, it will not be posted to the blog without valid proof that accompanies it. this means that we will not post anons if we do not think the proof is valid. you are always welcome to chat with us on a spam tumblr, so we can give you feedback on why we don't think a proof is valid, etc. so you don't feel ignored! no ask is going ignored without valid reason, so we have no issues explaining privately why we did not post something publicly, especially if it will prove we are retaining our unbiased status, and only siding with the facts.

please be aware that we will still post vents for both sides, but we will provide our context to keep vents in check from spreading further misinformation.

we are making this psa to curb any future censoring accusations due to this reason! we are not intending to misrepresent any side, but we are also attempting to stick to the proof that we have in hand for conversations that involve it. again, this is grey space because sometimes asks have valid points to them without proof, often critiquing other points, and we can't perfectly gauge since we're not in the situation, but our feedback function helps us greatly fix mistakes made.

as we are balancing allowing discourse to be had and opinions and vents to be made, we may not post specific anons if we get a boatload of the same thing being said to one person depending on the volume in our box, but your point of view will be shared, and if you think you still need your anon posted, we don't mind doing so! we may also post constructive conversation on one day and vents on the next day to stagger the discussion if it gets out of hand, as this often does with au issues.

last time we had discourse about similar issues we filled pages and pages and pages with anons all saying the same thing, and collectively the rest of the blog hated it. we also received inflated asks and claims about people involved, so we will be extra careful with listening to feedback regarding anything we post about people involved.

so please use our [ FEEDBACK ] function (pinned post) during this if you have concerns about not feeling heard, or any criticisms! once again, there is a reason behind why we post or don't post things, and we are open to mending our decision with constructive criticism, and also open to explaining why we didn't post something (privately, or else it destroys the point of not making the ask public in the first place). please discuss with us before resigning your opinion of us to being scum!

apologies if this upsets anyone, feel free to submit feedback about this too! we are doing our best to be a credible source for reference, by being more mature about issues involving groups that have histories of being very passionate!

[goodsguider]

Safety Pins Versatility Uses and Fun Facts

I. Introduction:

In our everyday lives, we often come across small items that play a significant role in our daily routines. One such item is the safety pin. Despite its humble appearance, safety-pins have a fascinating history and numerous practical uses. This blog post will delve into the world of safety-pins, exploring their types, hacks, safety tips, and even some fun facts. Let’s discover the versatility of safety-pins and how they have become indispensable in various aspects of our lives.

A. Brief History of Safety-Pins: Safety-pins have a long and interesting history that dates back to ancient times. The concept of using a pin with a clasp for fastening can be traced back to the ancient Greeks and Romans. However, the modern safety pin, as we know it today, was patented by Walter Hunt in 1849. His design included a coiled spring and a clasp, which prevented the pin from accidentally opening. Since then, safety-pins have become a staple item in households worldwide.

B. Importance of Safety Pins in Everyday Life: Safety-pins may seem like small and insignificant objects, but they serve a multitude of purposes in our daily lives. From practical uses to creative solutions, safety-pins offer convenience and versatility. They provide quick fixes, temporary closures, and a wide range of possibilities for fashion, household, and craft projects. Their reliability and ease of use make them an essential tool for people of all ages and backgrounds.

C. Overview of the Blog Post Structure: To explore the world of safety pins comprehensively, this blog post will cover several key aspects. We will begin by discussing the different types of safety-pins, examining their designs and advantages. Then, we will delve into various safety-pin hacks and uses, including their applications in clothing, household organization, and craft projects. Following that, we will provide essential safety tips for handling safety-pins, childproofing, and dealing with emergency situations. To add some excitement, we will share fun facts about safety-pins, highlighting their unusual uses throughout history and their presence in popular culture. Finally, we will conclude by summarizing the key points and expressing the versatility of safety-pins.

Read More- www.goodsguider.com

[divergent-one-1984]

Organized Crime Ring in Astoria, NY, in a neighborhood under the jurisdiction of 114th PRECINCT and in apartment buildings managed by CENTRAL ASTORIA, LLC. I have been the victim of TARGETED COMMUNITY HARASSMENT SINCE SUMMER 2016 because of my race and gender, I am an African American woman (because of a rumor / gossip mill started by staff at NYC DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION while I was employed there from 2014 to 2016 I was made the victim of TARGETED PSYCHOLOGICAL HARASSMENT). Due to the illegal access and leaking of private, personal, confidential information by wiretapping / cloning / hacking of personal devices and illegal surveillance in my residence. This includes leaking of confidential medical information (HPV, strains that can cause cervical cancer and an Abortion) - Blackberry Messenger (BBM) between DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON and myself in MARCH 2011 - I ENDED OUR CASUAL DATING RELATIONSHIP that began in the BRONX, NY in MAY 2010 (per a blind date hook up by mutual acquaintance SHO CLARK) - POST 2 of 3 - BBM Exchange with DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON MARCH 2011 pages 1 through 2)

DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON'S Blackberry Messenger (BBM) Pin # is 3232520E.

This conversation started out with DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON reaching out to me to get $$ to repair the brand new SONY PLAYSTATION game console I bought him for his birthday in NOVEMBER 2010 and then turned into him asking me for $$ to pay his rent because apparently he had just decided while we were in this conversation to pay to repair the PLAYSTATION with his rent money, which was $140, with the assumption that I would just give him the $$ because I have taken care of him in the past when he needed things.

I did not give him too much $$ maybe $50 on a couple of occassions, but I did send hella care packages of toiletries and basic needs as well as personal items he left in US, paid a speeding ticket he had in NYS, and used calling cards to call him before he had access to Internet.

Based on this history, I guess he felt I would just give him the money but I did not and I ended things with him after this exchange. I believe DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON thought I was his personal ATM after awhile.

PAGE 1 of 5

3232520E: "I got it repaired but I used my rent money to do it"

PAGE 2 of 5

ME: "Ok so wtf is all this about?"

3232520E: "So if I can't my money from denver tomorrow I will have an issue" (denver is the basketball team DEVIN played for in EL SALVADOR, CENTRAL AMERICA)

3232520E: "Hate your shakiness that is what this is all about"

ME: "U making shit up ME: " Now" ME: "U being shakey"

3232520E: "If u can help me please do" 3232520E: "Ummmm no"

ME: "Yes u are" ME: "Wtf u telling me about some shit's that's already repaired"

3232520E: "I just took 140 dollars to fix it because it is cheaper than mailing it and getting it sent back…."

ME: "That's fine but its done already so y r we even talking about it?"

3232520E: "I just fixed it I'm not even powering it on till I get to the new house"

ME: "Ok"

3232520E: "Because I need help in paying for it"

ME: "I can't help u" ME: "Sorry" ME: "U prob won't get money from me until I feel we r in a different kind of place cause all I'm gonna think is ur going to use the money I give you on someother chick"

(At this point I knew about DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON and 19 year old gf, ELISA VELASQUEZ (he is 30 at this point, I think this is a little gross and borderline pee-dough, 19 is still a baby as far as I am concerned even though I know girls tend to mature faster than boys, but anywho)

I found out DEVIN was "in a relationship" by stumbling upon his relationship status accidentally on Facebook instead of him telling me.

DEVIN was up front about his polyamorous lifestyle before he moved which is why I never fully took things seriously especially since we were long distance as well, I was just having fun for these reasons and some others until I did not want to have fun anymore.

DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON stated he would tell me about such things, these were his words I expected him to stand on them but he didn't, I sat on this information for at least a month at this point.

I was waiting and giving him the chance to tell me like he claimed he would, but he never did so this is where my mind was at at this point and eventually at the end of this conversation, which is somewhere on a computer / usb drive, I basically told him, if you are claiming women on FB, ask them for money, don't call on me from another country when you have a gf right there. Don't try to play me because I thought he and I were better than that)

ME: "If you need something tangible"

3232520E: "Was hoping u would at least go half with me in fixing it since I'm not mailing it anymore…."

ME: "For urself" ME: "I can help but actual $" ME: "Feel funny about it" ………………….

3232520E: "Can u phathom all the negative things I want to say to u right now….."

ME: "I'm sure"

3232520E: "I have a contract to sign tomorrow so I can have a place to live since margarito asked me to move out"

3232520E: "And u have the nerve to downplay my needs to that of money going to some chick" 3232520E: "Right" 3232520E: "Thank u"

ME: "y would u use rent $ to repair ps3" ME: "?"

3232520E: "So much for" 3232520E: "Your understanding"

ME: "Because first of all u lied about the ps3" ME: "?" 3232520E: "I what" ME: "U made it seem like it still needed to be repaired"

3232520E: "I never lie" 3232520E: "I'm done" 3232520E: "Fuck u" ………………. 3232520E: "All u do is urk me"

ME: "Did u not just make it seem as if it still neede to b" ME: "Sent back here"

3232520E: "Every fucking time u bleed"

(So, I had to add some context to this just because I think it's utterly ridiculous and laughable and shows how deeply misogynistic DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON is.

This is a tired ass thing for a man to say to a woman; blame us having a disagreement because I have my period? This is like middle school / high school sh!t; most men don't seem to bypass this maturity level anyway so I suppose I should not have been surprised he would say such a stupid thing that is patently false.

First of all, this is a blanket misogynist statement, while I do acknowledge that as women we go through hormonal changes that can alter our moods in different degrees at any point during our menstrual cycle, not just when we are actually bleeding, but whatever that altered state is, if at all, it varies from woman to woman.

When you have been around me longer than a month then we can talk.

For DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON to put that out there as if its true and as if he knows anything about when I bleed is ridiculous.

I don't recall if I actually had my period during the time of this exchange, based on what I guesstimate to be the date of this exchange it's entirely possible I did have my period but DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON has literally only been around me possibly 1 time during my period if I had my period during the month we hung out in NYC before he moved and if I did I may or may not have hung out with him during this time or for at least part of this time.

If we did hangout, I don't recall him saying anything about "my bleeding" during that period of a little over a month that we physically spent together during SUMMER 2010 and we did not hang out everyday, maybe 2 - 4 days each week, after we met in person about a week or so after we started talking on the phone.

Most of the time we were "hanging out" was spent in 2 different countries.

I met DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON in late MAY 2010 in NYC, DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON moved to EL SALVADOR, CENTRAL AMERICA the first week of JULY 2010. I literally spent about 1 month in DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON'S physical presence, including the 3 day weekend I visited him in NOVEMBER 2010 to celebrate our birthdays together.

DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON has not been around me long enough to know how the hell I am when I bleed.

DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON was basically trying to deflect from his poor decision making and throwing a temper tantrum because I wouldn't give him money; antagonize me for no reason, that will certainly get you what you want, sure….lol.

Additionally, to further point out the obsurdity of DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON'S statement, the 2 actual relationships I have had in my life of which I spent more time with each of them than my hanging out with DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON, neither one of them has ever said anything about my period being a catalyst for an argument / disagreement.

Those men had been around me physically for more than 1 instance of my period. The first relationship was with a man I met shortly after graduating college whom I lost my virginity to, he was around me for at least 12 periods, not once did he ever say you know when you bleed you are this or that or you must have your period why are you are being a b…., etc. lol.

The other relationship lasted for 4 years with an additional year and a half of toxic uncoupling (for more details see any post about WILFRED SHAWN KIRKLADY) You will see the receipts of WILFRED SHAWN KIRKALDY saying some pretty sh!tty, disrespectful, emotionally / verbally abusive things to me and generally doing the most with his extreme and erratic thinking / behavior and the tendancy to attempt to tear down my self esteem with some of his comments, however you won't see him saying anything about everytime I bleed yadda yadda yadda.

I don't recall WILFRED SHAWN KIRKALDY stating that in any of those communications, additional communications that I have not posted, or any verbal argument we ever had.

WILFRED had been around me for at least 60 periods, where at least over a dozen were while we lived together under the same roof, so DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON was basically just pulling sh!t out of his ass because of his emotional immaturity and instability.

And for additional TMI, I can be irritable and more impatient than normal, but not angry irritable (and if I sense that because I have been with myself through many periods obviously, I am in my late 40s and hope to be in perimenopause cause I'm over this annoyance and don't want children so pointless, anywho, I will stay to myself, take some aspirin, if available a heating pad, watch youtube videos, and just lay down and rest especially for the first 2 to 3 days.

I literally don't have all the energy for the nonsense DEVIN ELTON THOMPSON is talking about, DEVIN just wanted to blame me for a problem he created.

I am a sleepy / sluggish / lethargic / bloated / sensitive (romantically and generally), withdrawn, quiet, and prone to shed some tears from watching a scene in a movie or some ish like that period girl, so all this "bleeding" agressive, vindictive bitch energy I was supposedly giving him isn't even my style, maybe its some other woman he was with in the past or present, maybe he got us confused since we all / most of us are interchageable and seem to just be a scapegoat, anatomy to achieve sexual pleasure and / or a money / resource tree for him, and not necessarily a fully fleshed out human being, lol)

3232520E: "No dick"

ME: "For"

3232520E: "I was at the place"

ME: "Me to send it back to sony?

3232520E: " Considering what was my best option" (DEVIN ELTON THOMPSPON'S best option would have been to pay his rent instead of using the money to repair a video game console and trying to get me to pay for it as if he is not a grown ass 30 yr old man with an actual girlfriend in EL SALVADOR, that should be able to help him out if being claimed on Facebook, BTW, a girlfriend that he still at this point had no clue that I knew about and had known about for like a month before this exchange. I was waiting to see if he would tell me outright without me having to prompt it out of him or having to spill the tea myself.

I didn't care about the girlfriend because we were not exclusive and because of the non negotiables he told me about before he moved I never took our situation that seriously, I liked him but not enough to overlook the red flags / dealbreakers; I was just there to have fun and have an experience until I felt it was time to move on.

I only cared that he did not tell me like he stated he would. I approach each person I meet as an individual, if the energy matches my energy and you are cool, easy going like myself, and the energy seems to be positive and not negative then I will rock with you until you show me different.

I was willing to help him out still if he needed help with actual things like toothpaste, socks, etc but no money (basically all the basic toiletries and other basic needs shit I sent to him when he first moved because he appeared to have moved to EL SALVADOR, CENTRAL AMERICA with a wing and a prayer, the clothes on his back and maybe a toothbrush, lol; based on all the stuff he asked for, I purchased and mailed him).

If I could help without putting myself out on some friendship sh!t, like I rock with you because you are a human being that I like and we vibe I was willing to do it but since he was not talking about the things he claimed he was going to be honest about then I can't rock with you no more because you just don't respect me on a basic human level and I have no choice but to think that you are just using me.

I just wanted him to stand by his word and he did not and then tried to turn this whole thing around on me as if I owed him anything in life. I was not his mom, family member, his girlfriend, just some chick he got hooked up with through a mutual acquaintaince less than a year ago.

There must have been a number of people of higher priority level above me that could have helped him out in his time of need)

3232520E: "U calling me a liar" 3232520E: "I just fixed it while I was writing u telling u the cost to send it"

ME: "Ok"

3232520E: "I shouldn't have to explain myself any fucking way"

(DEVIN is asking me for money and claims he does not need to explain himself/ I'm sorry but the audacity of some of these mofos, no shame. In general, not even on some man / woman -ish, if someone asks for money there should be some kind of explanation involved, especially with the information I have in my back pocket.

I'm thinking to myself ask your 19 year old gf, don't ask me. If you are claiming you are in a relationship with someone they should have your back and maybe you don't have to explain yourself to them, idk)

3232520E: "U want to doubt me" 3232520E: "And be a biutch saying money is going to some other bitch" 3232520E: "And u wonder why we ain't in a cool place" 3232520E: "Are you fucking kidding me" 3232520E: "U think this is what I want or expect from someone who loves me" 3232520E: "Can't stop thinking about me" 3232520E: "U r the fucking liar not me"