#Physical Symptoms Of Anxiety Attack
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What are the Panic Disorder Symptoms?
Panic disorder is a mental health issue that affects lots of people all over the world. It's when you have sudden and repeated panic attacks, which are really scary experiences.
Imagine feeling like you're suddenly trapped in a whirlwind of fear and uncertainty, with your heart racing, palms sweating, and breath coming in short, shallow gasps.
These panic attacks can happen without any warning, and they can make you feel like you're losing control or even like you might die.
Besides these strong physical feelings, panic disorder also brings up a bunch of emotional symptoms, leaving people feeling overwhelmed, scared, and like they can't handle things. Understanding these symptoms is crucial for recognizing and managing panic disorder effectively.Ā
Woman panic attack symptoms
Panic attacks can affect anyone, including women. When a woman experiences a panic attack, she might notice a variety of sensations. Think about her heart speeding up suddenly, like it's trying to win a race, and her body getting sweaty.
Her hands might shake, feeling as unsteady as leaves in the wind. Breathing can become difficult, like she's just run a sprint. And alongside all of this, there's a scary feeling that something bad is about to happen, and it can feel like she's losing touch with what's real.
It's a challenging experience, so it's really important for women to recognize these signs and understand that they could be having a panic attack.
Panic attacks Vs Anxiety attacks
Understanding the difference between panic attacks and anxiety attacks is crucial. While both can make you feel anxious, they have distinct characteristics. When it comes to panic attacks, they hit you suddenly and get really intense really fast. It's like when a rollercoaster suddenly zooms to the top. But with anxiety attacks, they slowly build up over time. They're usually triggered by specific things that stress you out, like having a big test or an important presentation coming up. You might feel tense and worried for a while before the anxiety gets really bad.Ā
Physical symptoms of anxiety attack
During an anxiety attack, your body might experience various sensations. You might feel tightness or discomfort in your chest, as if something is squeezing it. Dizziness or the sensation of fainting could also occur. Additionally, sudden changes in temperature, such as feeling really hot or cold, may be present.Ā
Nausea, the urge to vomit, is another common symptom of an anxiety attack. Furthermore, you might notice numbness in your arms or legs, similar to when they fall asleep. While these feelings can be frightening, they usually diminish once the anxiety attack passes.
Panic attack causes
The causes of panic attacks are not entirely clear, but experts think they come from a mix of things like genetics, biology, and the environment. Lots of different things can trigger panic attacks, like stress, trauma, big changes in life, or some medications you might be taking. Understanding these triggers can help to manage panic attacks better.
Panic attacks, even though they're really scary, usually aren't physically dangerous on their own. But it's important to know they can have a big impact on how you feel overall if you don't deal with them.
Is panic attack dangerous
During a panic attack, the fear and discomfort can be so intense that it makes it hard to do normal things. And if panic attacks keep happening, you might start worrying a lot about when the next one will come. This can lead to avoiding certain places or situations because you're scared of having another panic attack. It's like feeling trapped and missing out on things you used to enjoy. Not dealing with panic attacks can also make other mental health issues worse or even cause new ones to pop up. You might start feeling anxious or sad all the time, which makes it tough to focus or enjoy life.
And over time, the stress from untreated panic attacks can take a toll on your body too. It can lead to problems like heart issues, stomach troubles, or a weaker immune system.
So, while panic attacks might not be dangerous in the moment, ignoring them can have serious long-term effects on your mental and physical health.Ā
Panic disorder treatment
In treating panic disorder, a combination of therapy, medication, and self-help approaches is often used. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), a widely used therapy, assists individuals in comprehending and managing their panic attacks. Additionally, healthcare providers may prescribe antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications to alleviate symptoms. Achieving a balance between these treatment methods is essential for effectively managing panic attacks and improving overall well-being.
How to cure panic attacks fast
While panic attacks can't be cured instantly, but there are ways to help when they happen. Doing deep breathing exercises, mindfulness activities, and relaxing your muscles can all help calm your body and mind during a panic attack. Also, sticking to a regular exercise routine, making sure you get enough sleep, and avoiding things like caffeine and cigarettes can reduce how often and how bad your panic attacks are over time.
Conclusion
In conclusion, living with panic disorder can be challenging and significantly impact your daily life.
However, with awareness of the symptoms and seeking appropriate assistance, you can gain the tools to manage your panic attacks and enhance your overall well-being. Understanding your condition and learning effective coping strategies are key to navigate through it.
So, don't hesitate to seek support from experts such as the Best Psychiatrist in Kankarbagh, Patna, or a Best NeuroPsychiatrist in Patna, to guide you on your journey towards managing panic attacks and improving your overall well-being.
#Best Psychiatrist in Kankarbagh#Patna#Best NeuroPsychiatrist in Patna#woman panic attack symptoms#panic attack vs anxiety attack#panic disorder treatment#panic attack causes#how to cure panic attacks fast#is panic attack dangerous#physical symptoms of anxiety attack#anxiety attack symptoms
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for anxiety is a type of psychotherapy that helps individuals manage and overcome their anxiety by identifying and changing negative patterns of thinking and behavior. CBT is based on the idea that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all interconnected, and that by changing the way we think and behave, we can change how we feel. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy For Anxiety with the individual to identify the thoughts and beliefs that contribute to their anxiety symptoms. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps the individual challenge and reframe these thoughts, which can help reduce anxiety.
#Cognitive Behavioral Therapy For Anxiety#Generalized Anxiety Disorder Symptoms#Treatment For Generalized Anxiety Disorder#Symptoms Of Mood Disorder#Social Anxiety And Depression#Social Anxiety Disorder Symptoms#Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder Symptoms#Persistent Depression Disorder#Clinical Depression Symptoms#Physical Symptoms Of Anxiety Attack#Anxiety Disorders Types#Schizoaffective Disorder Symptoms#Major Depressive Disorder Symptoms#Symptoms For Postpartum Depression
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blood animals
#ask to tag#blood#blood painting#creatures#i get a lot of nosebleeds i thought id give blood painting a try#it was weird i never feel sick or weird at all from the sight of blood#and i didnt really while painting this but i felt kinda like i was going to feel sick?#if that makes sense#so im prob not gonna do this again unfortunately#idk if it was the smell or the texture of it as it clotted#ive gotten sick at the sight of blood exactly once before when id accidentally squeezed a bunch of blood out of a blister#got super nauseous and p much expirienced all the symptoms of a panic attack minus any actual feeling of anxiety or panic#just the physical stuff#weird
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For those who might often experience an emotional crash after orgasmā¦ your f/os love you, and will do anything to help you. Theyāll go extra heavy on the aftercare and cuddles, help you shower, make or order you food. If you need a distraction theyāll sit and watch a movie with youā¦ arm around you. Even if youāre not too worried yourself, they donāt want to see you down. Itās not a burden to them, or an annoyance, youāre their partner, and they always want you to feel safe and happy and loved .
#it speaks#im. feeling down </3#like a reassurance 4 myself because I feel like absolute shit#physically Iām alright but I do have some physical symptoms of anxiety#and Iām trying not to have an anxiety attack#mentally exhausted very drained. opposite of what I wanted to feel#self shipping#minors dni
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i think i might have just had a panic attack? hard to say. i felt physically really awful and like i was having massive anxiety/panic bodily, but there was no like...emotion behind it? like i felt stressed but just because of what my body was doing. i didn't feel scared about anything specific. in the shower it felt like my heart was Pounding and my chest was kind of tight and i'm still struggling to like, keep bodily calm by regulating my breathing. mentally i feel, like, fine. just really confused. also this has lasted a while now, aren't panic attacks supposed to be brief?
#ages ago my mom told me like. ''*I* have panic attacks and when you have one it feels like you're going to die and you sob and etc''#like she meant emotionally as well as physically#i don't ever have that but i have really intense painful physical anxiety symptoms like this with no cause or emotion sometimes so. idk <3
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6 weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smokeā¦..
šļøš¤šš¾āāļøšš¼āāļøš
#seemed appropriate to use t swift lyrics since I associated so many of her songs with them &havenāt been able to listen to any of them sinc#I donāt even want to say their names#if you know you know#purging them from my life has been depressing as hell#Iām so fucking sick of behind the scenes bullshit ruining my favourite ships#this is the THIRD TIME this has happened to me btw#Iāve genuinely been in mourning#Iām not even exaggerating when I say that finale triggered a days long anxiety attack for me#itās so ridiculous how something that wasnāt even real caused me to have physical symptoms of distress but itās true#my heart wouldnāt stop racing. chest was tight. started shaking a few times. felt lightheaded. couldnāt sleep. eating made me sick#it was awful#but now Iāve mostly moved on to anger#Iām angry at a lot of people involved for different reasons#Iām also angry because Iāve lost my inspiration to write#I was solely committed to writing about them the past few years and now that theyāre over I have no desire to write for them or another shi#Iām crushed that Iāve lost my joy for writing those ficlets but itās too painful now. probably always will be tbh#feeling pretty lost creativelyā¦#thank god I made a new friend on here before shit hit the fan#she and I have been venting out our sadness and frustrations together and itās helped a lot#I hope everyone else in the fandom was able to find support like I did#I know my exit from the fandom was abrupt but I had just finished watching and was reacting purley on raw emotion#but I still think it was my best way to cope with it all#apologies for the rant and to everyone following me who donāt know wtf Iām talkimg about but I was thinking about them today#and I needed to unload a bit#Iām not going to tag anything but I do miss this fandom terribly#Iām still at a point where I donāt want to hear anything about this show or ship ever againā¦ but yeahā¦ I really miss those good times#take me back to the season 3 hype#THIS is the bad place#personal#laura says things
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you have gyatt to be rizzing me
#1:39 am panic attack bath ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½#body feels physically really really unwell presumably from anxiety but i don't know :'( i don't like it i don't wanna throw up#it's more crying than anyhting it's like a misery attack#no it is also a panic attack there is anxisty symptoms. but the 1st and most reoccurring has been crying#i wish we hadn't woken up for a little that was not good for us#i hope we can go back to sleep ;; please#oughf almost started crying again i don't know wtf to do#ā mandated blurry signoff tag
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is it bad that that episode caused me to have anxiety chills ? like i am upset enough to be shivering & freezing cold all over
#i have physical symptoms from watching my favourite character die & going through all this trying to process it#usuall this only happens after an anxiety panic attack but it's happening nkw#i am thinking of it too much i think#like the come down from all those emotions is causing this maybe ??#anxiety tw#anxiety cw#ask to tag#personal tag
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How Anxiety Disorders Can Impact Your Physical Health & Body
Photo by Uday Mittal on Unsplash Anxiety can be a normal part of everyday life. People can get anxious when they have an interview, their first day at a new job, or addressing a group of people. But when you are dealing with an anxiety disorder the anxiety a person feels can get extreme. It can activate your natural fight or flight response. There are several types of anxiety disorders fromā¦
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#Agoraphobia#Anxiety#Anxiety & Panic Attack#Anxiety Physical Symptoms#Generalized Anxiety Disorder#Mental Health#Mental Health Awareness#Mental Health Blog#Mental Illness#Panic Attack#Social Anxiety
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https://www.nimelmentalhealthllc.com/the-effects-of-emotional-abuse
The Effects of Emotional Abuse
Most people do not know that you may be a victim of abuse since emotional abuse is so subtle and does not leave visible bruises or signs. You might not even be aware of it. Many victims of emotional abuse are unaware that it is happening to them.
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My current OCD crisis has officially lasted a month today
#I'm getting better very slowly in the sense that I don't get physical anxiety symptoms as often#and can expose myself to very mild anxiety inducing situations#but it can take months until i can expose myself to the Big Stuff. i don't feel ready yet#last time i had one of these i was in a perpetual panic attack for a month#but the circumstances were different. locked up. threat of catching covid at any second. my grandpa died. lots of stuff
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What are the Panic Disorder Symptoms -Know Here!
Panic attack is defined as an episode of sudden and intense fear that can trigger severe physical reactions. It can produce frightening symptoms, with feeling like they are losing control.
Panic disorder is defined as a disorder of panic attack and anxiety. Are you feeling anxious about something?
Do you constantly get episodes of hyperventilation? Are you feeling stressed out lately? Do you feel burnt out by situations in life? If the above questions bother a person, visif the best psychiatrist in Patna, Dr. Vivek Pratap Singh.Ā
Panic attack vs anxiety attackĀ
Anxiety attack commonly has a stressor involved that triggers the physical symptoms. While, panic attacks can occur abruptly without any warning involved.Ā
Anxiety occurs in response to the anticipation of a stressful situation, or event. It can come on slowly with progressing severely if not done anything. The anxiety disorder can includeĀ
Generalized anxiety disorder
Separation anxiety disorder
Post traumatic stress disorderĀ
Social anxiety disorder
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
The anxiety attack symptoms areĀ
Worry
Fear
Distress
Sadness
There is no diagnostic criteria for recognition of anxiety attacks. It is open for interpretation because there is no definite guideline to the symptoms experienced by people. People can experience different kinds of symptoms yet it can be called an anxiety attack.Ā
Panic attacks can come on suddenly and involve overwhelming fear. They occur with a combination of racing heartbeat, nausea, or shortness of breath. Panic attacks occur unexpectedly without any cause but sometimes they occur due to external stress like phobias.Ā
History of more than one panic attack can be called a panic disorder that is characterized by repetitive panic attacks.Ā
In a woman panic attack symptoms are characterized by the followingĀ
Fear of impending doom
Sense of detachment from oneselfĀ
Increased heart rate
Palpitations
Increased breathingĀ
SweatingĀ
Tremors
Chest pain
Feeling a tightness in the throat
Dry mouth
Numbness
Shaking
NauseaĀ
Abdominal pain
Dizziness
The panic attacks are usually more severe and can cause debilitating symptoms that disrupts whatever one is doing. A person can go about their day with anxiety in the back of their mind. But panic attacks involve physical symptoms that need immediate attention. Panic attacks can occur out of the blue while anxiety mostly always has a trigger associated with it.Ā
Panic attack causesĀ
The panic attack can be caused by a single or a combination of a lot of factors together. For example,Ā
Stressful jobs can cause one to constantly overthink about work and lead to anxiety.Ā
Social situations can cause distress to a lot of people who are not usually used to being around people. The situation can make them uncomfortable and in some situations can trigger a panic attack.Ā
Various common phobias tend to cause panic attack like claustrophobia, and agoraphobia.Ā
Past traumatic incidents or experiences are the most common triggers for a panic attack.Ā
Chronic underlying medical conditionsĀ
Drug or alcohol withdrawalĀ
Thyroid disordersĀ
Is panic attack dangerous?Ā
If panic attacks are left untreated, they can affect every aspect in the life of an individual. A lot of people after experiencing a panic attack in their life get scarred for life, that they live in a constant fear of experiencing another one. People develop phobias like unable to leave home because of their fear of any triggers. They can suffer through more anxiety and stress because of this disorder and can get depression. Along with depression, the risks of developing other psychiatric disorders also increases. Sometimes, people start relying on alcohol and drugs for their sanity and mental health leading to grave consequences.Ā
How to cure panic attacks fast?Ā
The panic disorder treatment depends on the level of the symptoms affecting the life of an individual. The most common treatment, physicians go for isĀ
Cognitive behavioral therapy that can help people share their feelings and emotions. Therapy aids them in understanding their thoughts and emotions to the point that they start feeling better about themselves. A therapist can break down the thought process and help one heal better. The best neuropsychiatrist in Patna, Dr. Vivek Pratap Singh is very well equipped for such situations.Ā
When the symptoms are not controlled even with regular therapy sessions, people are advised to take medications likeĀ
Antidepressants include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin-norepinephrine uptake inhibitors (SNRIs).Ā
Beta blockers help control certain physical symptoms of anxiety attack like a rapid heart rate and improve blood circulation.Ā
Anti anxiety drugs such as benzodiazepines have shown to suppress symptoms quite effectively.
#Best Psychiatrist in Kankarbagh#Best NeuroPsychiatrist in Patna#woman panic attack symptoms#panic attack vs anxiety attack#panic disorder treatment#panic attack causes#how to cure panic attacks fast#is panic attack dangerous#physical symptoms of anxiety attack#anxiety attack symptoms
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if you have anxietyā¦ (some 18+)
ā¦ price
- takes charge. understands how hard it is to be a functional human some days. removes all the unnecessary overthinking you do. breakfast? omelette. workout? yes, a run. dinner? steak, and he will do the hard part. you chop the veggies. movie? this cheesy romcom. sex? of course, you just lie back and let yourself get overwhelmed by his tongue. canāt do much overthinking when you barely remember your own name, can you? while you rest against the headboard in the afterglow and catch your breath, he fishes a magnesium pill from a bottle and makes you swallow it, holding a glass of water to your lips. āletās calm that head down, baby.ā
ā¦ kyle
- talks you down. heās smooth and he knows it. when you run yourself in circles trying to find solutions to problems that only exist in your head, he has a way of breaking your head open and making you see the light with only a few soft sentences. he lets you ramble on and on about all the things that plague you until he eventually says something that catches you completely off guard and puts everything into a new perspective. suddenly you understand how itās all connected and what previously felt like world-ending problems now seem like minor inconveniences, if that. he knows that making you putting your thoughts into words and talking about them with him is the best way to dismantle the thought patterns in your head. a simple afternoon walk with him is like a hundred hours in a therapistās office. and of course you get a quickie on the sofa after.
ā¦ johnny
- helps you fight off the restlessness and other nervous symptoms. always catches the signs, your trembling hands and wavering glances, and tries to derail your trains of thought that he knows might cause a panic attack. his first method is always making you laugh, and his stupid jokes almost always do the trick. if that doesnāt work, he knows jumping jacks are a sure way to fire off the stress hormones and adrenaline building up inside you. and if you come home all frazzled, nerves fried after a day of stressful work tasks, impossible clients and rude coworkers, he makes sure to tire you out physically and mentally by way of eight different sex positions over the course of three and a half hours. you sleep long and well that night.
ā¦ simon
- is at your service. literally becomes like your service dog. when youāre out and about, you just need to hold on to his arm or put your hand in his pocket. heāll take you where you need to go, you donāt need to worry about it. if the hustle and bustle of the world around gets to be too loud, heāll put a heavy arm around your shoulders, literally grounding you. you can hold his large, scarred hand if you need something to focus on, running your fingers over the ridges and bumps on his skin. like any good service dog he creates space for you, simply by existing. no one bothers you when heās around. if you fidget with the zipper on your jacket or pull on a strand of your hair, he knows before you even notice what youāre doing. heāll gently redirect you, guiding your hand away from whatever itās doing. if youāre at home, heāll sometimes place it blatantly on his crotch instead, to really give you something to fidget with.
#john price#captain john price#john price x reader#john price x you#kyle garrick#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick x reader#kyle garrick x you#john mactavish#john soap mactavish#john mactavish x reader#john mactavish x you#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#cod mwii#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#task force 141#tf 141#sigh straight from the heart
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Tormented Spirit | 10
Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: GUYS ITS STILL TOO FUCKING LONG I HAD TO CUT IT AGAIN T_T blah blah canon stuff/high valyrian inaccurate blah. please please leave comments/reblogs because they really help me with the fic. | cross posted on ao3
@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching @myllovellybones
Daemon does not come home to you that night. When you awaken, you feel sick to your stomach. The thought of food repulsive though, so you spend the morning looking for your husband, until your body betrays you and feels sick because of not having eaten. You realize that your state is not borne simply from worrying about the prince, but probably also because of this supposed life you carried within you.
You try to deny it though, chalking it up to your mind playing tricks on you. After all, it's laughable that you suddenly experienced these symptoms just after all the fuss of learning you were with child.
You thought you finally found Daemon when you heard Caraxes was in the dragon pit, and so you run there, run, much to the protest of Arryk, who was hot on your heels. He managed to convince you to slow down by telling you that you would eventually get to the dragon pit if you walked, but you would never get there if you pass out.
You'd never been so happy to see the blood wyrm.
"Daemon?" you call out, searching for him.
Caraxes is busy feasting on meat and Arryk is busy watching him, body tense and senses on high alert.
The dragon keeper comes to you, shaking his head, "se dÄrilaros iksis daor kesÄ«r dombo." The prince is not here anymore.
You understood nothing, save dÄrilaros, which you knew meant prince, and figure he's probably telling you he is not here, which you could gather from simple observation.
You turn to Caraxes and point, "zaldrīzes." Dragon.
The man brightens, as he understands, "Caraxes."
You nod, placing a hand on your chest. You do a walking motion with your fingers towards Caraxes.
His eyes widen and he shakes his head and hands.
You clench your jaw and turn to Caraxes, nodding your head in understanding.
The dragon keeper relaxes.
He mistakes you.
"Arryk," you turn to your ward, "can you come here please?"
Arryk's eyes linger on the dragon a moment before turning to you. You settle him in front of the dragon keeper, and while he is distracted from trying to figure out what you were doing, you circle behind your knight and sneak past both, making a beeline towards Caraxes.
The dragon notices you immediately and watches you near. He lifts his head and sniffs the air, and only then do the two men realize what's happening.
"PRINCESS!" Arryk shouts, sprinting towards you before coming to an abrupt stop.
Enraged, Caraxes cranes his long neck, roaring at Arryk, making him topple back on his bum.
The dragon keeper screams a command and raises his hands.
Amidst the peril of it all, you are calm as you look up at Daemon's companion. It stems from the truth that it would be far less complicated and less painful to be eaten by a dragon than to tell your husband you are with child and deliver it.
The red creature screeches as snaps his teeth at the two men, causing his keeper to step back and Arryk to crawl back with him.
Caraxes then averts his attention, shaking his head as he circles around you, effectively blocking the two from seeing anything other than his massive, scaly body.
In truth, you think your heart might be impaired, because it doesn't race at all as the beast seemingly imposes upon you. He cannot seem to stop pacing around you, as if he was restless, anxious even.
Your face contorts at the bleating sound it makes. He lowers his head slightly inhaling and exhaling deeply. He makes another noise and you swear to yourself, the creature looks like he's fidgeting.
You feel bad, for it seems... you've upset him, "apologies... I was hoping you'd eat me."
Caraxes screams loudly again when he spots two other dragon keepers come to you from the other side. He threatens them with a snap of his teeth.
"Daor!" they scream in unison. No.
Caraxes seethes and screeches, as if saying, 'do not tell me what to do'.
He circles around you again, and this time, he shoves you forward with his wing. You yelp as you are knocked to the ground with a thud. You manage to brace yourself, grazing your hands as you did, but your chest still hurts at the impact.
The keepers scream in horror because of this, fearing that you would soon be eaten.
"HEY!" Arryk screams, thinking he can distract Caraxes. He can't, and he is losing his mind. Hoes not know what to do but to shout your name in terror. He can't help but draw his sword and immediately the dragon keeper is yelling something, motioning that he stop.
You whine as you roll on your side. Caraxes growls as he bites your arm. The fear finally sets in as he does this, and his powerful maw pulls you up to sitting position.
The dragon keeper, who ran to retrieve you, shrieks out upon witnessing this.
You gasp when Caraxes roars back, and you squeal when his wing comes over you. The strangest thing occurs to you in that moment, and your heart finally begins to raceā not because it sinks in how much danger you were in, but because, suddenly, you knew you were not.
You come to a stand, and with no regard for your safety, you reach out for the dragon's skin, somehow shocked by how warm and hard it is. "Caraxes."
He hears you, though you barely raised your voice. He is sensitive to the sound of his name. Caraxes moves back, pulling away enough to be able to coil his neck and look at you.
The dragon keepers, who were so on edge, altogether fall silent when they see you in the midst of the blood wrym.
Arryk nearly broke into a other sprint upon finally seeing you, but he manages to hold back and lowers his sword, unwilling to sheathe it.
Caraxes produces a sound you think is akin to a mewl, as much as a mewl a ten foot beast could make. You huff and feel your breath hitch. You close your eyes and reach out to him, ready to accept whichever fate awaits you, companionship or death.
You gasp, eyes instantly opening when you feel the wetness on your hands. Caraxes presses his snout to your palms, and you squeak, quickly pulling back at the heat of his huff.
He lifts his head and begins to pace around again. You are certain now that the beast was, in fact, restless.
"Paez ilagon!" you exclaim, raising your hands at him.
Caraxes huffs, debating if he should heed your command.
"Paez ilagon," slow down, you repeat as the dragon fully faces you.
You, and everyone else who witnesses it, are shocked that Caraxes listens. He quits his pacing and slowly comes to a halt, looming over you.
Your lips wobble, humbled by the idea such a fearsome creature would obey the commands of such a pathetic being. You begin to weep, as Caraxes lowers his head, sniffing you. Your hands dart out to him when he gets too close. You slightly topple when he nudges you with his snout. You feel the warmth of his breath seeping through your dress as he brushes against you. You can tell he is trying his best to be gentle, but even then he is too strong that you have to repel him. He makes the faintest of sounds.
"Gods be good," you mumble as you gaze upon the creatures scales, "you can smell him, can't you? Daemon?"
Caraxes remains pressed against you a moment longer.
You sniffle and momentarily fantasize about the child growing within you. You lean into him in defeat, "you silly thing."
His throat emits a low rumble.
"It would have been better if you made me a snack," you mumble against him, feeling your tears drip.
Caraxes slowly lowers his head until he is laid on the floor. You remain leaned on him for a moment, and then you pull away with a sigh. You look upon the dragon, thinking he is so much like his rider, and stroke his cheek one last time before pulling away.
You walk towards the dragon keeper you had blindsided and lower your head in shame, speaking the word you had learned for Daemon, "usÅvegon." Apologies.
He stares at you for a moment, taking in your now messy hair and dirtied face, and replies with something you do not understand.
You nod at him without meeting his eyes then hurriedly walk off. Arryk is quick to follow after you, and his skidding makes Caraxes screech at him. He flinches at the sound, looking behind him warily. You do not.
When Arryk finally catches up to you, he takes your arm and calls out your name. He is alarmed by the red smeared down your philtrum and cheek.
"Forgive me," you mutter, unable to meet his gaze. You do not stop walking, "I- I was overcome... I did not think of anything but myself. I did not mean to cause anyone such immense distress."
"What were you trying to do?" Arryk quips, taking in your dirtied face. He did not know if it would be appropriate to wipe it with his cloak.
You shake your head, still unable to look at him.
"Princess," Arryk speaks like a plea, "did you know Caraxes would not hurt you?"
You gulp, quickening you pace.
Arryk huffs in frustration, calling out your name.
He forces you to stop by dashing forward, coming in front of you. You look up at him, eyes teary and mouth parted.
"I beg you," he clenches his fists, before succumbing to his urges. He grabs his cloak and wipes your face, brushing the dirt and blood as neatly as he can, "please tell me you did not knowingly put yourself in danger."
The tears running down your face help him clean you off. You honestly say, "I don't know if I should tell you."
Arryk is heart broken. He clenches his jaw tightly and releases his hold on you. He steps aside and you begin walking again.
You feel awful as you look at him. He is sullen as he walks beside you. You wipe your nose on your sleeve, "apologies, Arryk."
He shakes his head and opens his mouth. His jaw hangs for a moment, but then he closes his mouth, saying nothing.
You turn to your side when you hear your name called.
Alicent, who was making her way to the king's quarters, runs up you, eyes widening at the blood on your face. The red had spread as it mixed with your tears. She quickly pulls out her handkerchief, "your nose is bleeding!"
Your eyes widen, as you did not know this, but you quickly take her wrist and slowly pull away, "it is nothing."
"What happened to her, ser?" Alicent turns to Arryk.
Arryk is eager to tattle, "she was at the dragon pit and-"
"I fell," you cut him off, blocking your sister's gaze upon your ward, "I-"
"You fell in the dragon pit?!" she bristles further. Your feigning backfired. "What did Daemon do?!"
"The prince is nowhere to be seen," Arryk scoffs.
"I was- am looking for him!" you blurt
"Caraxes nearly attacked her," Arryk adds.
"Arryk!" you whip your head to him then back to your sister, "he did not!"
"He shoved her back and she fell!" he explains, "that's why her nose is bloody."
Alicent calls your name as you call Arryk's.
Your sister takes your shoulders, eyes immediately watering, "did you want to get hurt, sister?"
Your jaw slacks, "I- I-"
"Does Daemon posses you to do such things?" your baby sister begins to cry.
You shake your head rapidly, "no! No. I swear to you, this has nothing to do with him."
"Then what?" Alicent asks with a broken voice.
You gasp for air and feel a shiver run down your spine. You cannot tell her the truth, so you explain instead, "my nose already bled yesterday, which is why it's bleeding now."
"What?!"
"I already fainted yesterday and fell quite hard, which is why my nose is bleeding again."
"Mother, please," Alicent whispers.
"Alicent, I swear to you, you need not-"
"How could you let this happen to her twice?" Alicent turns to Arryk.
Arryk lowers his head, "I have failed-"
"I snuck behind him," you blurt, "do not fault him for my impulsiveness."
Alicent's heart is crush as she watches you wipe your face.
"It is not Arryk's fault that my nose is bloody. It is neither Caraxes fault for shoving me. It is mine. My body is weak and I have spent all day looking for my husband, against the behest of my maester."
Alicent clenches her jaw. It is Daemon's fault.
"I will go to the maesters' ward and submit to whatever is prescribed to me," you place a hand on her shoulder. You sniffle, "do not speak to father of this."
"Make sure to go to the maester's then," you sister warns.
Dejected, you look away and walk off.
Alicent takes in a breath before grabbing her skirts, marching over to the king's quarters.
Viserys is in the middle of gluing his diorama of King's Landing when he hears a knock on the door, "come in."
Alicent enters, sighing deeply before pulling a smile.
"Alicent," his blank expression slightly lightens.
She curtsies, "your highness," and walks over to him. She turns her attention to whatever it was the king was building.
Viserys shows raises a block, "a new tower."
Alicent smiles softly, "pretty."
The king raises a brow upon noticing the stiffness to her demeanor, "is everything alright?"
Alicent betrays herself on purpose by nodding her head too quickly.
Viserys puts the tower down. He reaches for her arm, "what's wrong, my girl."
She takes a sharp breath, "my sisterā"
He furrows his brows.
"āshe... she has a bloody nose from falling."
"She fell?"
"Twice," Alicent fidgets with her hands, honest agitation for her sister taking over her, "because she's been looking for Daemon."
His reaction to the name is instant. Viserys' jaw clenches and his fists ball in anger, "Daemon."
Daemon struts down the great hall, making his way towards the Iron Throne. The night was now deep and the few candles lit in the room only increased the tension between the brothers.
The prince looks up at the king. The king and two kingsguard stationed on either side of the throne look down at him. Viserys clenches his sword, "and where have you been?"
Daemon scoffs, aimlessly looking around, "have you summoned me to nag?" He clasps his hand in front of him, leaning on one foot, "I already have a wife for that."
His brother laughs, hard. It echoes across the hall, but it is by no means genuine, "I would not have ever known with all the time you waste in brothels."
Daemon grinds his teeth, face contorting, "so you've summoned me to reb-"
"Did you say it?" Viserys snaps.
"... what?"
"An heir for a dayā did you say it?!"
"..."
The king's nostrils flare.
"... we must all mourn in our own way, your grace."
Viserys sighs, lowering his head in defeat for a second, then erupts, "MY FAMILY HAS BEEN DESTROYED!" He seethes, "and instead of staying at mine, or Rhaenyra's side you celebrate your own rise with your whores and your lickspittles!
"And wife," he scoffs, "your poor wife... do you even know that your mount has injured her?"
Daemon stiffens.
"She came to the pit looking for you and the beast caused her a bloody nose."
"What?"
"You chose her Daemon. And in choosing her you prove time and time again, I bend to your desires only to be repaid with disrespect. You have no other allies in court but me, yet-"
"You do nothing but distance me from court! From the City Watch, even with- with her... you do nothing but heed the whispers of that leaching old man."
"Leaching old man?" Viserys raises his brows.
Daemon nearly vibrates in anger.
"You mean Otto Hightower?" the king's lips curl, "the man who begged meā"
He laughs dryly.
"āover and back to spare her sickly daughter from enduring a lifetime with a the likes of you!"
Daemon is wounded, "I am your brother."
"Then why do you cut me so deep?"
"I see that man for what he is."
Viserys huffs, "a loyal and faithful-"
"A cunt!"
The king leans back. His kingsguard are ready to draw their steel. Viserys realizes there is no getting through to him. He looks away then turns back to glare at him, "jiÅragon hen Ʊuha laehurlion." Get out of my face.
"LÄkia," Daemon steps forward, muttering the word that meant older brother.
The kingsguards step forward, showing a glimmer of their swords as a warning.
"I hear it is the first time your Hightower bride has been separated from her twin. It would do her health good to visit Oldtown."
He clenches his fists tightly.
"Perhaps she might get strong enough to grant you a child," he clenches his jaw, "maybe once the gods have granted you a boy or girl, you will understand my grief." Viserys motions with a nod, "you are to return to your lady wife with no quarrel. Take him out of my sight."
Daemon does not wait to be apprehended and storms out of the room. He is bristling as he gets out.
"Mazeman bona ziry gÅntan daor jikagon sČ³rÄ«." I take that it did not go well.
Daemon turns and sees Corlys standing by the door, hands clasped in front of him.
"I wanted to speak to you of something important earlier today. I hope your mood is not too bad foul-"
"Č²dragon se sagon gaomagon lÄda bisa jenigon," Daemon snaps. Speak and be done with this bother.
Corlys straightens his back and motions with hand, "it is regarding the Stepstones, your grace."
Daemon furrows his brows, vaguely recalling this topic being broached during one of the council meetings. The two of them discuss this as they walk down the hall. By the time the prince reaches your shared quarters, he's agreed to help the Seasnake with his concern.
You leap from your bed when the door opens. Daemon freezes as you scurry to the door, hastily running to him without even putting on your slippers. You stand before him barefoot, heaving as you clutch your nightgown. He stares at you, hands clenching into fists.
"UsÅvegon," your lips tremble.
Daemon's face falls a fraction as he watches your eyes water.
"UsÅvegon," apologies, you repeat. "Please..." you slowly reach for him.
He watches your palms press against his chest. He makes no attempt to move.
"Do not be cross with me any longer."
A deep breath flares through his nostrils. He realizes then that he is exhausted and shuts his eyes. He leans his forehead on yours and takes your wrists. He huffs at your feel, "you are freezing."
"I-"
Daemon seals you into an embrace and the warmth of his body quickly seeps onto your much colder one. A shiver runs down your spine. You immediately wrap your arms around him and nuzzle your face into his chest. He mimics you, brushing his cheek against your hair, taking in the faint smell of citrus. He remembers what his brother said and repeats it, "Ʊuha mijegindita ÄbrazČ³rys." My poor wife.
You don't know what he says, so you make sure to tell him what wants to hearā what you think he wants to hear, "I will not defy you ever again."
He does not care about that. He pulls back and looks at you. He wipes the tears off your face and a line forms between his brows, "Caraxes attacked you?"
One of your hands instinctively comes to your philtrum, "no. I-" you shake your head, "I fell."
You don't know why you think Daemon would be satisfied with your answer. He presses, "tell me exactly what happened."
You huff, "I was... yesterday, I faintedā"
"Fainted?"
"āthen I fell."
He shakes his head, "this happened in the dragon pit?"
"... no. When... when I was chasing after you."
Daemon brushes your hair back.
You cannot hold his gaze, "I went to the pit, hoping you'd be there and-" you realize you cannot tell him what happened. You cannot tell him you walked to his mount and his mount did not attack you because he could smell part of him in you. You huff, "-and Caraxes got close and knocked me over."
"Did he try to bite you?"
You debate for a second before shaking your head.
Daemon sighs, "he must have smelled me on you and got excited."
Your throat tightens. Goosebumps form on your arm when Daemon traces your nose with his thumb.
"And your nose bled?"
You do not want to answer.
He sighs, "I will reintroduce you to him, so that he does not act so-"
"It's not his fault!" you blurt, "not really."
He knits his brows.
"When I fainted and fell, my nose already bled, so..." you motion with a finger, "Caraxes simply... set off a previous injury."
He says absolutely nothing.
"My body is weak," you mumble, hoping to explain it better, "I've had worse injuries."
"Do you tell me this so that I will not bring you to Caraxes?"
"No," you shake your head, "no. Just... so you do not..." worry, you almost say, but then the idea feels presumptuous.
"Not fault my beast for acting like one?" Daemon asks, as he heads for his cabinet.
You look at him for a moment then follow. You decide to hum and proceed to help him get undressed.
Your husband examines your face. The moonlight mixed with candlelight makes your skin glow. He is loathe to think your tears add to it, but it's unfortunately true. Your being glistens because of all these things. He interrupts your unbuttoning by taking your cheeks and slowly wiping off the tears on your lashes.
You blink at him, "better?"
"Gevie," he says, brushing your throat with his thumbs.
You nod, though you still did not know what that meant. You push his doublet past his shoulders and once his dress shirt remained, he is quick to remove his shoes as you bring his clothes to the hamper. When you walk back to him, he is picking out clothes from his closet. You are deeply confused when he hands you a stack of shirts.
Daemon moves to his other cabinet and says, "pack those in my trunk for me."
You freeze and blink rapidly, "I-" you turn to his truck, which was atop his closet. Your heart races, "I cannot reach it."
Daemon pulls out more clothing before looking at you. You watch him closely as he stands and reaches for the trunk. He places it on the floor and opens it.
You slowly kneel on the floor beside it, doing your best to keep calm in this moment. Are you leaving? You nearly ask him, but you don't because he clearly is. You begin to fold his clothes, but you cannot hold your peace, "where are you going?"
Daemon stuffs his clothes into his trunk and sighs before crouching down to fix them, "the Stepstones."
"W-what?"
"The Seasnake needs help with the Crabfeeder, so I will help him."
"Why?" you blurt all too quickly.
Daemon straightens up. He looks down at you as you shake your head and quickly finish folding his clothes.
"Why must it be you?"
The voice of his brother rings in his mind. Do you carry such low regard of him just as he? "Why can't it be me?" he snaps, "you think I will be of no help?"
He is taken aback by how you chuck his clothes into his trunk rather aggressively. His face begins to harden with anger but then you make a noise and lean into the trunk, heaving deeply in and out.
"Wha-"
You cut him off by reaching for his legs. He is frozen in place as you embrace him from where you knelt on the floor.
Whatever choler was building in him quickly dissipates and morphs into... fear, or rather, worry. He calls out your name, reaching for your head.
"You cannot leave me," you shudder, gripping his calves for dear life. You look up at him, face wholly distraught but not teary. You find yourself too tired to shed a tear.
Cannot leave you? He does not like the way you imply he would be unable to if he wanted. Daemon watches you as you slowly bring yourself up to a stand. He does not help you as you pull yourself up using his legs and waist.
Your hands remain gripping the sides of his shirt as you stare at him. You take in his stoic expression as you gather the nerve to repeat, "you cannot leave m-"
"And why can't I?" he quips as his insecurity gets ahead of himself.
You hear it in his voice. You hear how he thinks you're challenging him. You shake your head and correct yourself, "n-no," you shudder, "no, Daemon, no. I- I want you to stay." You brush your palms up his chest.
He can feel the tremble of your hands as they come to his cheeks. He knit his brows at your confession. He has to ask, "why?"
You could tell him many reasons. The one possibly most relevant to him is that of the fact you were carrying his unborn child. A shiver runs down your spine; you are not foolish enough to believe this would be something that would make him want to stay. You could always tell him you needed him, your health needed him, because it was true. As much as he clawed your fragile heart, he made it soar in ways you've never experienced. But there was a rather simpler truth to that need, though attached to a very complicated feeling, "because I love you."
Daemon's expression falls. Though his lips barely part, you can tell that he is gobsmacked. You release a shaky breath as you swipe his chin and jaw with the pads of your thumbs.
Should he be so shocked? Love in a marriage is not so uncommon, even if it is arranged, even if it felt opposite in the beginning.
So, what?
What was your love to him? It would wax and wane like his brother'sā and his brother, his fucking brother. He could not grant him the satisfaction. Daemon takes you by the wrists and slowly pries you off, "you are mistaken."
You take a deep breath at his words. You are perfectly still.
"I do not feel the same," he mutters.
Daemon was not one to lie, convinced such an act was beneath him, reserved for incapable, lesser men; half-wits, and yellow-bellies. The only reason he could say this was because the cup in which you held your love for him was far deeper than the one he had for you, and he was aware of it. He loved himself far more than he could ever bring himself to love anyone; he would always be first.
Still, he was not an incapable, lesser man, nor was he a half-witted yellow-belly. He knew of the cup he held, which oft overflowed. The mere thought of you triggered a smell in the air, and at the mention of your name, his bones ignited. You were his, and you held his regard, his affection, his lust, and, yes, his love.
All of this, he was about to explain, but then your reaction blind-sided him.
You nod, "I know."
How terrible it was to hear it. He knew his words where callous. He knew wuch an admission is a gash from a jagged bladeā to not be loved by who you loved. Yet your casual resignation to this information stung, nay, scorched his heart.
Is it cold? Is his love so dry you cannot even feel it?
His grip on you falters.
You bring your hands to his shoulders. You rub his bicep and smile softly in reassurance, "I do not mind."
"What?"
Your smile widens a fraction, "I know you enjoy the... delicateness of my body, both intimately and-" you motion to yourself, "-regarding my affliction."
He knits his brows.
"It is wholly contrary to yours, and it is mirthful to you," you nod again, "I understand."
"Do you?" he raises his furrowed brows.
You slowly loosen your hold on him. You pull away to fidget with your fingers, "do I not?"
"No," he scoffs under his breath, chest tightening far too much he has to move past you, "I don't think you do."
You are quick to grab him but it slips, "then make me understand."
Daemon stops in his tracks, turning back to you as his breathing picks up.
Your own does the same, but your gasps get shorter and shorter, so much so, you feel yourself get lightheaded. Your husband has to grab you to keep you upright, but you want to show him you have the will to overcome this, that you aren't dead weight, so push him away and mutter, "I- I can do it, Daemon."
He misinterprets you. You scorch him again. He squeezes your arms, "you don't want my help now?"
"No," you say as try to catch your breath, "I- I just-" you cannot continue.
Daemon has to sit you down to help calm you down. He tried to keep you upright, but then he realizes you were consciously trying to lean into his chest, so he lets you. You press your cheek against his warm muscles and sigh at the beat of his heart. You wrap your arms around him, "I want this."
He stares at your brown hair for a moment.
"I want all of this," you sigh, "which is why I want to be what you want me to be."
He finally lets himself embrace you, but just then, you pull away to look at him.
"I can do it," you nod as you take a final deep breath, "I can be a dutiful wifeā I will be a dutiful wife. I will not defy you. I will do as you please. I will not expect more than I ought."
"You cannot do everything for me," Daemon says with slight contempt, a line between his brows.
"I-" you shake your head, "... I know," you shake your head faster, taking his hands, "but can I make you stay?"
He looks at how you hold him. He feels sick.
"What can I do to ma-"
"You do not understand," he pulls his hand away, "my brother wants me to leave. He is sick of me and prays for my riddance."
You watch as Daemon stands and paces around.
"He told me to bring you to your twin in Oldtown, and I would sooner eat Caraxes' shit than be tossed aside to the fucking Reach."
You shake your head, "why does he want you to leave?"
"He is weepy over the drunken words I spoke."
"Well, what did you-"
"Does it matter?!" he snaps, raising his hands, "I must leave!"
He is clearly upset. You nod your head and come to a stand, "then I will speak to the k-"
"No!" he shouts, "I will not have my wife act on my behalf, as though I rolled my belly."
"You are not rolling your belly, I am."
"You think there is a fucking difference?!" he quips, marching in front of you, "no! I am to leave in the dawn, so pack my fucking things, woman!"
You grit your teeth in an attempt to steel yourself away. It does not prevent the tears from running down your cheeks.
Daemon's nostrils flare as you go back to his trunk and sort out his clothes. He hears your soft whimpers and slowly begins to deflate. He wipes his face, slowly turning to you. He watches tears drop onto his garbs, "have you nothing to say?"
You sniffle and shake your head rapidly.
"No?!" his expression pinches.
You stand and grab the rest of this clothes. You sniffle with difficulty then sigh deeply. Your voice is shaky, "I want only to please you."
Daemon chuckles dryly, aimlessly looking around, "you think this pleases me?"
"Then tell me what will!" you whip your head around, clutching his clothes tightly in your arms, "I implore you." You step forward and haphazardly drop everything to his trunk, "I cannot please you if you refuse to tell me what you want."
"I want to go to the fucking Stepstones!" he points to nowhere.
You are shattered. How terrible of him to make it so painfully clear that what he wants does not even involve you. He does not want you, or even if he did, you cannot be enough. You lower your gaze.
"I want you to beg me to stay."
You look up at him. You chuckle dryly under your breath when you realize he's being serious. Your sorrow is not enough, it seems, now he wants even your shame.
Daemon tenses when you get on your knees.
You grip the fabric of his trousers as tightly as possible in an attempt to steel yourself, but it does not prevent your tears from falling. You shudder, "please."
"..."
"Stay. I beg you."
Your prince gazes upon your bitterness. He brushes your cheek and feels the coldness of your tears. He sighs because this does not affect him the way he had hoped.
It is not enough.
Dawn breaks, and Caraxes is restless. Daemon's things were being secured on his dragon, but that is not why so many dragon keepers had to keep him in check.
There, by the entrance, you stood with your hands clasped together and your head hung low. Both your wards behind you, eyeing your prince, who was doing his best to calm his ride as the last of his things were readied. Daemon did not know Caraxes was acting this way because of your distress, but the keepers slowly began to realize this was the case.
One of the keepers call out, "Ʊuha dÄrilaros, aÅha ÄbrazČ³rys." My prince, your wife.
"RČ³bagon, Caraxes!" Daemon snaps at his dragon to listen. Caraxes shakes his head and the prince spares the dragon keeper a glance, "skoros hen zirČ³la?" What of her?
"AÅha zaldrÄ«zes kostagon yknagon zirČ³la boter." Your dragon can smell her suffering.
The prince turns to you, back to Caraxes, "iksis ziry zirČ³la, Caraxes?" Is it her, Caraxes.
You lift your gaze when you hear Daemon call for you. He beckons you over and before you can move, Arryk grabs your arm and whispers, "I do not think this wise."
You slightly turn to him, "he will not harm me. You saw how Caraxes acted yesterday."
"It is not the dragon I worry about."
You look at the man, seeing how his jaw is clenched. You place a hand on his shoulder plate before walking towards your husband.
Rather immediately, there is a shift in Caraxes's demeanor. He huffs and screeches, neck coiling so his head could come near you. Daemon barks out multiple commands and his mount finally obeys.
The prince knits his brows then turns to you, reaching out a hand. You take it and find yourself pulled into your husband's arms. Your skin pricks with goosebumps when he whispers in your ear, "he wants you."
You sigh and close your eyes, resigning yourself to Daemon. He links his fingers into yours and places it atop his dragon's snout.
Caraxes sighs and slightly leans in.
Daemon is astounded by this, "I did not know he could possibly care for someone more than his rider."
You slowly open your eyes and look at the creatures ruby scales. "He does not," you mutter, rubbing one hand on your belly.
He does not hear this. When he turns you around, he catches you rubbing your stomach. He sighs and takes your hand, "do not weep so bitterly."
You cannot do anything but the opposite. Tears stream down your cheeks, "do not be so cruel then."
Daemon watches how your lips wobble. A line forms between his brows, "do not make this harder than it should."
You pull away from him and lower your gaze, "then just leave me now, and spare me the slow torture."
He tenses at your words. His expression hardens, "I did not ask you to see me off."
"Shall I leave then?" you snap, eyes red as you look back at him.
"Yes!"
You grab your skirt and walk towards the twins.
Daemon is stunned. He turns around and watches as you storm off. He calls your name, once, twice, and then he is sobered by the scream of Caraxes. You do not even stop by the entrance anymore, and walk past your kingsguards, who are quick to follow after you.
Here you were doing his bidding, following his wishes, yet there was no satisfaction. All there was... was less of you, less of your strength, your light, your fire.
Daemon turns to Caraxes, who was restless again. He pushes past the dragon keepers and saddles up. He orders Caraxes to start walking, so he does. The blood wrym begins to crawl towards you and the prince has to reel him back, barking out orders of obedience far too loudly.
Caraxes gives a loud screech before following the order. He huffs so deeply that the wind it produces makes you topple.
Your knights are quick to keep you upright, and though you so badly want to turn around, you remind yourself that your husband has done nothing but all he wants since you've wed. If he wanted you to stay, he would have told you.
You wouldn't know then that Daemon made Caraxes stop in his tracks. You wouldn't know that as he watched you walk off, he was mumbling under his breath that you turn around. You just kept walking yet he still waited for you to turn back, even after your figure had disappeared.
He would also never know that you headed down to the docks near the Keep, just to watch Caraxes fly away one last time. He would never know how your skin pricked with gooseflesh at the sight of the red winged beast soaring above. He would never know how hard it became for you to breathe.
"Gods, please," you mumble as your eyes endlessly watered, "swiftly return him to me."
Arryk and Erryk, stood on either side of you, glared at the sky as they heard your broken voice. They were on high alert as the docks were busy at this hour, and yet, it was necessary to convey their contempt, even if the person it was meant for could not see.
"Give me back my husband," you look at your reflection in the water, "or take me to my mother."
Before your words even register to either of the twins, you've already jumped into the water. Erryk nearly jumps in with you before realizing his armor would surely make him sink. "PRINCESS!" he screams as he undoes his armor.
"THE PRINCESS!" Arryk screams to the fisherman, "SHE'S FALLEN INTO THE WATER!"
The commotion is great. It is loud and frantic, yet as your body plunges and slowly begins to float, you care little. You feel someone fish you out of the water by the arm, and you want nothing more than to break free and swim towards your demise. But then, you hear your wards calling out your name, and you realize you cannot.
You say nothing once you are on land.
Both Cargylls has a hand on your arm, and each of them are worriedly questioning you, "are you alrigh- what happe- what were you thinki- are you faint- my princess-"
"I need to see him," you say.
Arryk and Erryk freeze. The look at each other, not knowing what to say. Arryk offers, "my princess. I fear you cannot see Dae-"
"Not him," you look between them as you gather your skirts. It is arduous, as it is soaking wet.
Otto was on his way back from the scrolls room when hears the shout from across the hall. He tenses like a rock at the recognition of his daughter's voice.
You hadn't realized how tired you were until you saw him. Your knees immediately buckle and you fall to the floor as you call out, "papa!"
The Lord Hand dashes to you, dropping the scrolls he had along the way. He gets on his knees and picks you up. He is aghast by your dripping state, and his anger is soon turned on your incompetent guards, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY GIRL?"
"Papa," you mutter once you are in his arms.
Otto cradles you, looking down at your sorry form. A deep line is between his brows.
"He left me," you whisper, tears wetting your already wet cheeks.
Daemon. Lord Hightower clenches his jaw. It's always fucking him. "Come, my girl," he mutters, trying to bring you to your feet, "let's get you-"
Your voice is soft, yet it still cuts him off, "you must not leave me."
Otto is frozen. Arryk and Erryk are frozen too.
"If you leave me too, I do not think I will survive."
#daemon fanfic#daemon targaryen x reader#daemon targaryen#daemon x reader#daemon targaryen fanfic#daemon smut#daemon targaryen smut#daemon fluff#daemon targaryen fluff#house of the dragon fanfic#house of the dragon smut#hotd fanfic#hotd smut#daemon angst#daemon targaryen angst#daemon#daemon targeryan#house of the dragon
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PSA: Please donāt ask participants to do grounding/mindful/somatic/etc practices at your events
Grounding exercises should not be an activity in large group settings, especially unsolicited and without warning, especially if youāre not aware of every single person in the spaceās mental health conditions, physical health conditions, and personal relationship to their body.
Practices such as mindfulness, grounding, somatic exercises, breathing techniques, body scans, etc. are very helpful therapeutic tools to help manage stress. They can (and do!) help plenty of peopleā when taught safely and used effectively!
HOWEVER for people with conditions that cause psychosis and/or dissociative conditions such as depersonalization/derealization, these techniques are contraindicated and can make their symptoms significantly worse. They should only be used with guidance from their mental health team and adapted to their needs. For people with conditions like anxiety and PTSD, being aware of breathing can trigger a trauma response or anxiety attacks.
And for people with conditions that cause chronic pain or other uncomfortable bodily sensations, becoming re-centered with their bodies can cause more awareness of the pain they are in, which a level of (ideally functional) dissociation is actually helpful. For people in wheelchairs and powerchairs, touching the ground beneath their feet isnāt always an option. For people with cardiac and pulmonary conditions, deep breathing can be impossible or can trigger asthma attacks. For disabled people in general, doing body scans can be impossible due to paralysis or limb differences. They can bring awareness to things the person wasnāt aware were wrong to begin with (which is helpful in certain spaces, but not a great ice breaker at a retreat!)
And for trans people, binders and other garments can restrict breathing, and taking repeated deep breaths while binding can cause rib damage (which is why you shouldn't bind at night, while coughing from sickness, while exercising, etc). Becoming centered in a body that makes you dysphoric can be deeply distressing, again, a level of functional dissociation helps.
This also goes for plenty of other people in marginalized bodies, such as people of color, people who use substances, queer people, and more. Becoming grounded in your own marginalized body can be a heavy weight to carry, and needs appropriate and individualized care to be a beneficial experience.
As an alternative, I suggest doing a round of gratitudes instead, it allows for people to choose their level of vulnerability in spaces, while not being generally contraindicated for many people. Doing fun (and appropriate to the setting) icebreakers are great. Ask what brings someone to the space. Check-ins about basic needs such as if people need to use the restroom, eat, drink water, are rested, etc. can be more appropriate body check-ins for folks to do.
I donāt recommend doing these exercises even with a warning beforehand. If I'm in the room while someone is leading a breathing exercise, even if I try to ignore it, I (and most people) would automatically become aware of my breathing. The same goes for any other techniques. These techniques can cause real, life-threatening levels of harm for some people, and can even just be deeply uncomfortable or distressing for others. Dissociation is not inherently evil or bad or harmful. It is the way the body and mind naturally respond to adverse experiences (note: it can also cause distress and at higher levels, can be disordered) it is best to allow people to exist as they are in communal spaces. Let people show up as they are.
Most spaces are not equipped or appropriate to respond to emergencies, difficult feelings, and all the varied responses that can come from folks doing mindfulness in group settings.
I personally do some things before large gatherings and events to feel centered on the activity Iāll be doing, and afterward, I decompress. Encourage participants to lean on their natural supports and offer suggestions for it! Be creative in your caring!
This also doesnāt mean to discourage these practices! If you see someone doing deep breathing, check in with them, offer a space for them to decompress, care for them! Worksheets or posters on techniques like square breathing and 5 senses check-ins are great for a quiet room or spaces where participants can decide if they want/are able to engage with those tools. It should be a fully consensual opt-in, rather than being forced to opt-out. Having to leave a room when a group leader says āWeāre going to start a mindful breathing meditation, please feel free to leave if you have psychosis, chronic pain, or are transā is obviously othering and outs people.
Sincerely, someone who has psychotic symptoms, dissociation, chronic pain, is trans and whose body is marginalized in many ways and is really tired from trying to explain this at every event I go to
#chronically couchbound#disability#disabled#community organizing#social justice#activism#grounding#trans#dissociation#chronic pain#bipoc#meditiation#somatic movement#somatic therapy#deep breathing#5 senses check in#boundaries#community care#protests#resistance#psychosis#psychotic disorders#actually psychotic#depersonalization#chest binding#asthma#mindfullness#mindfulness#mindfulmeditation#mindfulbreathing
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panic attacks are genuinely so dumb bc literally i wasnt even doing anything and i dont know why it happened just all of a sudden i felt HORRIBLE and like i couldnt breathe and my heart is beating really hard. the weird thing is i keep flip-flopping between being terribly nervous and not feeling any emotion at all. and for why. for what
#like is it bc i had a flashback earlier today? scientists are mystified......#also stupid but every time i have a panic attack (just random extreme physical anxiety symptoms strong and sudden out of nowhere)#i have to look it up to make sure im having a panic attack#bc when i started noticing them my mom was like Ugh no youre not having a panic attack MINE are WORSE you would be Sobbing#so i used to think i had like. asthma? bc they make it hard to breathe right
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