#Philza Minecraft the only man ever

[itdobenox]

A flightless crow, bound to the earth

[royal-dragon7]

Petition that the moment Philza Minecraft hits 40, we immediately call him a child.

[bubvy]

The only man ever, philza Minecraft

The best influence and role model, Dadza himself

[lookinghalfacorpse]

/dsmp /rp

cuddling with dream and the many possibilities, scenarios, and obstacles you may encounter. don't let him read this. a guide by technoblade.

i'm about to blow your minds with how complex this is. i'm a master at my art (sleeping), alright? i'm an experienced craftsman (at sleeping), i perform at my best in all locations (with naps, mostly) (yes, even in the obsidian box), and i'm very good at cuddling. i'm practically built for it. i would never, ever think about writing a guide about how to cuddle with philza minecraft (or anyone else, really), but this squirmy little guy is different.

-the best approach is the Sudden Drop. walk over to him, no matter what he's doin, and just drop onto him and stay there. spare no body weight. he'll probably think it's a bit funny, and that's why it's the best one. he's more likely to humor something if it's a good bit, and having a giant piglin treat you like a sofa cushion is a GREAT bit. he'll laugh.

-(the second best approach is when he's upset or panicking or crying, and you can see him grabbing onto himself. normally that means... idk, that he wants held? Or he wants to hold something? i'll sit down, slowly, and wrap 'im up. he'll latch onto me. hard. fingers twisting my fur-- the whole nine yards)

-otherwise, he's shy with his hands. a few times now, i've grabbed his hands and put them somewhere on me because he was just, like, hovering them awkwardly. like, cmon, man. i'm laying my whole body on you, what part of your hands do you think is gonna bother me.

-but, come to think of it, sometimes he's afraid of my hands, too. if i move them in the middle of the night. if i lay them somewhere sensitive, like his sides or the small of his back.

-another scenario: he might approach me, too. i thought it'd never happen. you know that feeling with the stray dog is finally close enough to sniff your hand and you stay super still so you don't scare it? That's how i felt. he normally just walks over and leans on my shoulder, and i still can't tell if that's all he wants or if he's asking me for a better cuddle. more experimentation is needed here.

-location is key! in all scenarios, near the wall is best. i think of myself as a secondary wall and kinda close him in- if sam were lookin', he'd only see me.

-(he's so little. he's SO little. was he always this thin? i'm gonna crush the kid.)

-expect the unexpected. sometimes he'll hit you. sometimes he'll start to cry, and sometimes that means you need to let him go, and sometimes that means you need to hold tighter. it's complicated. but everyone needs it, especially dudes bein tortured in a box, so it's worth the effort.

-(sometimes i need it, too. i'll admit it, i'm scared.)

[rainbowchaox]

Pissa Reunion Masterpost: (Literally there’s so much content we got this is gonna be hella long pls help me)

FIRST OFF YA DONTCHA SEE WHY THE PISSA NATION IS LOCO OVER THIS DUO? WE HAVE BEEN STARVING. PHILZA ALWAYS BEEN LOYAL TO ONE WET CAT! And that is Missa. And secondly I got most of the earlier half of stream information from the lovely @pepper-mintzyy. Give your liveblogger some love and care.

First off the scene where Missa comes online and Phil is all “WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!” And Cellbit immediately saying “Oh this your husband?” And Phil immediately saying yes without the platonic. THEN THEY PROCEED TO HAVE A FULL BLOWN BOAT DATE with legit felps being such a third wheel he legit says “Continue on forget I’m here”. Also the fact Cellbit pointed out “OH that’s why you have a skull on your backpack it’s because of your husband” and Phil immediately agreeing and Missa whimpering.

They literally like lowkey forgot they were on a mission and immediately was smitten with each other they high-key forgot the mission and people around them. The fact our wet cat almost dead rushed in to save Mr hardcore himself. The amount of times Phil has to save his husband. The fact Missa bought gifts for Philza IRL.

The fact when catching up Phil was all like “Oh we have another egg” not even thinking twice about accepting his husband as Tallulah second adopted father. The fact Missa was like “You are such a good father” in the down bad voice he is always in.

Literal highkey their cubitos flirting saying smooth shit like “Like the good old days" "nothings changed” and "the one thing that made you stand out". Like full on giggling and laughing and just chilling in each other company. The amount of time they were distracted by the actual major lore by each other just being there after so long is insane. Honestly believe not for others present they would not have reached the objective.

Phil being so sweetly protective of Missa and always making sure he is right next to him. Also the amount of soft showing off he did towards Missa is insane. The fact Phil numero uno priority is Missa and chayanne always. That has never changed despite Missas absence. The fact Missa never left his simpage for Philza and immediately seeing Phil be awesome and is “I c-can see your PECS”. Like bruh he is so down bad.

The fact Philza immediately seeing his husband getting wrecked by mobs decided then and there to give him SO MUCH GEAR LATER. Philza lanuage of love Definitely is Gift Gifting and Acts of service. The fact during Philza introduction to the new players Missa kept saying stuff like “That’s my love! that’s my love!”.

Missa soon had to leave to be a part of a Minecraft event of sorts. But right after he got back online because he wanted to se his husband and son. (Sadly chayanne already went to bed). The amount of miscommunication the death duo went through (With mainly bad being a third wheel and trying to cause problems in their relationship). Landduo was legit preventing poor Missa to go and see his man.

Missa literally only escaped because dapper told him just ask and he will kill LOLOLOL. He went home and forever and him had a whole conversation and apology. That they are friends now. Missa saying stuff Philza is not someone to be won etc. and Philza literally ditched tubbo and Cellbit was like “Your husband needs help? Understandable” and yet again no corrections from Phil.

THEN THE MOST SOFTEST ROMANTIC LATE STREAM STUFF I HAVE EVER SEE HAPPENS. They met again and literally it’s like nothing has changed. Phil immediately showing off the baby skeletons because he knows Missa will enjoy the skeletons. Phil FINALLY giving Missa the slime armor he made for him ages ago.

I won’t lie watching it live gives off major date vibes (obviously about their cubitos in rp). Phil and Missa legit did that trope of someone good at archery teaching their love interest at the exp farm. They legit shared exp as well. The fact they keep giggling so much.

Philza seeing how bad the gear Missa has literally have him 20 upgrades including giving him a full bar of exp on his backpack. Again gift giving and acts of service is clearly Philza love lanuage. LITERALLY MISSA STARED AT THE SKULL AMD NODDED QUICKLY TO HIS CHAT. The amount of avocado toast Phil keeps throwing at Missa and putting in his backpack. Gotta know his husband is eating well I guess. Philza casually saying that the “Wall is ours” to Missa.

The fact Missa immediately wanted to have a hat like Philza on his backpack then a player head of his to match his beloved husband. Earlier he tricked the translator and said “I speak weird so the translator won’t pick it up- I love you”. Casually like that sentence didn’t break all the pissa enjoyers brain for 24 hours.

Dapper casually saying “Glad to see the love birds are on the mend” about them. Literally one of us. Iconic king. THE FACT Philza while talking about Tallulah said she was “Our Daughter” to Missa. Bad trying to cause drama meeting the brick wall of Missa adoration. Aka him screaming “Philza the best!!!!”. The fact they both tried to go offline the same but Missa felt bad and had to said bye to everyone. The fact Missa went offline right next to the house.

WE WERE FEED. PISSA NATION STAYS WINNING! And we are gonna continue to get food. As Missa promised to try to stream four times a week. So maybe maybe….second gay Qsmp wedding-

[isa-ghost]

you have eggza headcanons perhaps? 👉👈

I will take any headcanons of course, I love your headcanon posts

Previous Sets:

Set 1

Set 2

Set 3

Set 4

Set 5

Set 6

MORE: Eggza Edition

Starting with two I made in previous sets:

When left to his own devices & off-duty as dad + not needed by any of the islanders for something serious, he let's loose. No more wise bad bitch crow man who's palpably emotionally damaged yet won't admit it. He's off the shits. You've seen Eggza. That's him de-stressing by fully indulging his favorite things: preparing necessities for survival & being an absolute wildcard.

When he heard someone on the island made up a rumor that Eggza is legit because Phil taste-tested a cookie out of curiosity, he took that and RAN. Yeah. He's egg sometimes. Who's his parent you ask? Well that's a secret (it's Rose).

Remember how I said he commits to bits super hard? Yeah. Eggza is his second biggest bit after the 4th Wall existentialism but it's quickly surpassing it to his biggest one

Genuinely he enjoys his Eggza time. Everyone knows they'll get nothing but task help out of him more or less, so they more or less leave him alone unless it's to say hi or a chance encounter.

Everyone finds him speaking with signs funny and endearing. Except Tubbo. But that's understandable, dyslexia go brr. Even though the fool sometimes forgets he can tts the signs. It's fine, he's most likely to derail Eggza's cookie grinding so it's better if Tubbo stays away doing Tubbo things

He's torn between the kids witnessing Eggza & never witnessing Eggza. He can't tell what's funnier or if he'd be embarrassed. They've heard stories from other eggs though

He has no interest in making himself Look like an egg. The sign usage is all he needs. And its funnier when you approach your grown ass man best friend Philza Minecraft only for him to look as wild as he did during Purgatory but without the Looks Like He's Dying Slowly part & refuse to talk to you verbally. The "what the fuck is happening here" is the best part of Eggza, if he starts LOOKING like an egg everyone will understand what's going on and that's lame

He bounces off everyone's energy. The more unhinged they are, the more unhinged he is. Unless he's harassing the baker. Then he fuels his own fuckery

The funny thing is he makes sure everyone thinks he's constantly this wild gremlin that only knows one thing: Grind. But really if no one's around while he's grinding, he's actually just straight up vibing. Got headphones in, blasting his jams, doin his work. In his lane, unbothered, flourishing.

I would sell my soul to see Eggza beat the ever-loving shit out of Purgatory workers it'd be so fucking funny holy shit

One of his favorite parts of going Eggza Mode is amusing his friends with the way he's just a nonverbal weirdo. Especially when he answers something they say by just dancing

If He's An Extra Silly Gremlin They'll Give Him Avocado Toast As A Treat

No one knows where he shoos his crows off to when he's Eggza. Or if it's some unspoken "ok time to scatter" rule as soon as he puts the gas mask on by the bakery. But they disperse and for a while, the other islanders can't shake the feeling of Phil seeming strangely bare for some reason. It's bc the murder is away

Tbh I bet even without the Hardcore dreams, he'd sleep a long time with how hard he works as Eggza

"Hard work," I say, as if most of the time Phil isn't just making mobs insatiable amounts of horny so everyone can give the baker what they're asking for (the awareness of this is half of why he's so unhinged as Eggza, it's too absurd & funny to him)

Calling back to another prev non-Eggza hc I made, he has less of a filter when he's not parenting or in peril. He has said some absolutely wild out of pocket shit on signs

If given the right kind of motivation, an islander could probably get Eggza to go feral and kill something or someone. Fit tosses him a stack of whatever arbitrary item Phil might find enticing enough atm & Phil is suddenly on a spree like he was with those bunnies that one time

[keirawantstocry]

Poly Morning Crew but Vampires/Vampire Hunters :> Pretty please?

emerges from Google docs covered in blood, sweat, and tears 

hey

Fit was a hunter first. That was his priority. He was raised a hunter. 14 years old with a shotgun full of silver bullets in his hands. He killed his first at 14. Anyone else would consider it crazy. Insane even. To Fit it was just life. It's what the Minecraft family did. Ever since years and years before when their great great grandfather Philza first began the hunt of the ungodly beasts. 

Phil was a legend among hunters. The man who first realized that vampires were living among them. Who realized the clubs that lay in the deep city housed thousands of hissing beasts who would bring the crowds in before sending the people home with no memories but the bite marks on their necks. They got sloppy, a friend of Phil's went missing the night she went to the club. They found her dead tossed behind the place with her body shredded open. That's when the hunt began. He killed nearly 70 of the monsters before he disappeared all those years ago. Nobody knew what had happened to him. But his children were hunters. His grandchildren were raised as hunters. And their children and grandchildren after that. 

So the bloody reality was all Fit knew. He learned to see the patterns. To see the trail of bodies they left behind and kill them before they could do any more damage. 

When Fit was born his parents thought their mission was close to over. There hadn't been vampire activity in years. They trained him up anyway. Just in case. Their son would be strong, the greatest warrior and hunter this world had seen. 

He lost them both to a vampire nest on the morning of his 17th birthday. It was that day that Fit swore to hunt down the nest that had done it and kill every last son of a bitch there. 

-

Pac had been Turned when he was 28. By an apologetic young boy named Tubbo. It was comedic in fact, the way he got Turned. Pac was a human who knew, who volunteered to get his blood sucked. He had to admit the adrenaline did a lot for him, even after losing to his leg when his dear vampire friend Cellbit was a little *too* hungry. But it wasn't what turned him. Turning could only be done by drinking another vampire's blood. 

In stories it would seem hard to do this by accident due to the fact there was no reason to store vampire blood. But they did. 

Tubbo had explained it to him once over some drinks. According to him the blood of different species tasted different. But vampire blood tasted the best. The metaphor he used was “human blood is like a nice juicy steak but vampire blood is like a pure shot of the sweetest honey on Earth”. So Tubbo drank both. Well that's to say he drank many different creature's blood. But the main, the best he claimed, were human and vampire. 

He gave him the wrong glass. By the time they noticed the process had already started. Tubbo apologized a thousand times over but Pac always waved him away. “It's so okay dude. I've always wondered what it would be like to be a vampire.” 

He had nothing to leave to be honest. Mike was immortal, the goddess that possessed his body made sure of that. Any other friends he had were the vampires he held his company with. His family was long gone, parents and siblings. 

The vampires became his family. 

-

Tubbo was 20 when he was turned. He was a very new vampire. He spent his first ten years in a haze of mindless killing before he was found and taught the ropes, taught how to take care when biting, how to keep the victims alive. He was only 31 years old in human time when he met Pac. 32 when he turned him. His mentor described his mental state as much younger. He had been in a frenzy for ten years, he was barely 22 mentally. Tubbo couldn't help but be glad about that cause no way in hell was he ready to be 32 years old. Even now with vampiric timing it felt too old. He struggled with the implications of turning Pac but the man had nobody left outside of the vampire world. They lived together, Pac moved in. At first Tubbo insisted they build a room for him but once again Pac waved him off. 

It was safer to sleep in the same bed anyway. 

Family. It was a word that Tubbo hadn't really felt in years. He didn't remember his parents or if he had any siblings. Pac became his family, his life, his heart. His everything. 

That was all that truly mattered. 

-

There was a nest close by, Fit could feel it. There had been signs for weeks in this small town in the west. People with a lack of memories, strange unexplained blood loss, and bites on their necks. 

Fit ducked quickly behind a wall as the current subject he was stalking did a half turn to look behind her. A moment later he heard a door open and then close. Peeking out he saw that she was gone, presumably into the large door at the end of the alley with a blinking red exit sign above it. 

He followed after her. Bingo, he thought as he stepped right into the back of a club. In the very back corner he saw two men, one hunched over the other with his mouth on his neck. Dark hair covered the work he was doing but what else could it possibly be? Creeping over, he slowly pulled out his knife and pulled the guy off the other, holding the knife to his throat. They both gasped as he pressed the metal hard against the man's throat. “Don't move a muscle. I know what gig you're pulling in here.” 

The man still lay half dazed, leaning against the stage and blinked up at him with hazy dark eyes. His hair was mussed and a bright flush covered his cheeks.“What the fuck man?” 

Fit felt the man he held at knife point giggle from where they were pressed together. “Can't a man kiss his boyfriend?” 

Fit hesitated. Had he been wrong? Had he actually just interrupted a lovers tyrst? 

His grip on the knife slackened as his eyes shot to the man's neck. It was a hickey. 

Fuck. 

He released the man and he stumbled forward to his boyfriend before turning to face Fit. “You aren't a vampire?” 

The dark haired man laughed while his half blonde boyfriend laughed and slowly stood up. He was a gorgeous man, dark hair and dark eyes with a beautiful yet wicked smile. “Oh, I am. We just both are.” 

Fit raised his knife again, panic sweeping through his veins. So he had been right. 

“Who are you?” the younger looking man asked. “Most humans don't know anything about us.” 

“He's a hunter, Tubbo,” the other man said. “Look at the way he holds himself.” He laughed again. “I thought hunters gave up years ago.” 

Fit gritted his teeth. These bastards were cocky and annoying. “My parents taught me. And their parents before them. And their parents before them. Our great grandfather found out about you and we have sworn to make sure you hellspawn all rot in hell like you deserve. Phil started this job and I'm going to finish it.” 

Both men laughed and it grated on his nerves.

“Do you hear this shit Pac?” the younger looking one, Tubbo, crowed. 

“What's your name?” the one called Pac asked.  

“Fit.” 

“Last name?” 

“Minecraft.” 

They both stared at him, their laughter fading quickly. “You related to Philza?” the half blonde one asked. 

Instantly his guard was up even higher. “You know my great grandfather? How old are you freaks?” 

“We know Philza,” Tubbo said casually as if it didn't flip Fit's world entirely on it's head. 

His heart felt like it shattered at that moment. “Excuse me?” 

“We know him,” Pac repeated, slipping his arm through his boyfriend's. “Wanna meet him?” 

Fit wasn't sure exactly what compelled him to follow the two men. Morbid curiosity perhaps? Whatever it was, he listened to it. 

The place they led him to was an old building, a little house near the edge of town. Beautiful plants grew plentifully out of a lovely garden in the back. 

Pac rapped his fist on the carved dark oak door. It was gorgeous. “Oi, Phil! We have a visitor!” 

The door swung open. A young blonde boy stood there with a golden duck floatie around his middle. 

“Hi Chayanne!” Tubbo said as he picked up the young one and spun him around. It was domestic. Fit couldn't help but feel conflicted about the love between these monsters. 

Behind the young child a man appeared. But he wasn't a man no. It was a creature. A man like one with large black wings and sharp black talons. Shoulder length blonde hair was pulled back at the base of his skull with a green ribbon. He smiled and it was soft, too soft. “Hey guys what brings you all the way out here?” 

“We got someone who wants to meet you,” Tubbo said as he shifted the young boy to his side, the boy resting his head ever so gently on the vampire's shoulder. The amount of trust was debilitating to everything he knew. 

The avian turned to look at him. “Yes?” 

“Let's go inside,” Pac suggested as he placed his hand gently on Fit's arm. For some reason he let him. “This man is about to have his world absolutely wrecked.” 

-

Fit was gripping the side of the couch hard. It couldn't be. It just couldn't possibly be. 

Phil was staring at him from the other couch, the other side of the room. His son was in his arms, the two vampires were perched on either side of the couch Fit sat on. 

“You're immortal,” he said slowly. “And you live with vampires?” 

Phil nodded. “I hunted them down when I was younger it's true. But they were the ones who took me in when I discovered my wings, discovered my immortality. They're kind, Fit.” 

“They killed my parents,” Fit spat. 

Philza looked sympathetic. It hurt. Fit averted his eyes to look down at the floor. “I'm sorry for that. But you can't blame their deaths on every single vampire. They may be out here drinking blood but do you see killings? Be honest with yourself mate. My friends here aren't doing any harm.” 

Fit let out a deep breath and sunk back into the couch. “It's hard to believe. Cut me some slack. It's all I fucking know.” 

“Then let us teach you more,” Pac said. Fit cut his eyes over to him and was entranced by the sincerity in his dark eyes. 

“You would?” he asked. It felt easy but he couldn't help but want it. To put down his weapons and rest. For the first time in decades. He just wanted to rest. 

“Of course.” 

“My parents,” Fit said slowly. “I want justice for them.” 

Pac's eyes lit up. “We'd be willing to help. Well. Me and Tubbo at least. I do love a good killing. Can't blame me for that considering you're also a killer.” 

Tubbo laughed, high and crazy while Phil chuckled to himself. 

“I'd say you'd do good to go with these two,” he suggested. “They're good boys. You know damn well most vampires woulda just killed you as soon as they knew who you were.” 

Tubbo shrugged. “We like ‘em crazy.” 

Fit looked over at him now, staring intently at those eyes, at the elegant undead face. 

It was crazy. Considering going with these two. But hell there was just something about them. So when he finally said, “okay,” it felt like the beginning of something life changing.

[chayannecraft]

Spider-Man Missa post let’s GO!!

I think his spider name could be something like Reaper-Spider?? Ghost-Spider?? Something a bit creepy, since I think his spidersuit is really edgy and a lot like his Minecraft skin with the skeleton motif. I’m pretty sure people confused him for a Villain SOLELY because his suit was so edgy until he actually established himself as a friendly vigilante.

Speaking of that, most of how he works is through looking intimidating because the second he opens his mouth he just becomes goofy and pathethic and he can’t fight for SHIT!! He will get better at through practice though, like all skills do.

(Extra details below!!)

People who know:

- Roier

- Spreen before he went missing

People who don’t know, but Missa wishes they did:

- Philza If he could get the nerve to tell him :’(

Extra details:

- Unknown to Missa, Philza takes the place of one of Spider-man’s villains, The Vulture. Or if we change his name something like The Crow?? Maybe The Angel of Death in every superhero au with Philza ever? It IS a good name… Anyways he’s probably working to take down the Federation. Not actually a villain, but is painted like that by the public because of who’s he attacking, you know.

- In their alteregos, Spider-man and The Vulture throw down every single time they meet. They probably hate each other until it simmers down into something funny for The Vulture, and not as infuriating for Spider-man.

- Meanwhile Philza and Missa are pretty much the same as they are in canon I don��t think I need to add anything.

-Philza and Missa lived together with their son Chayanne, and their granddaughter Tallulah. The way they got them is unclear to me, but the Federation does exist here as a suffocating government branch, so maybe that’s related. They all love each other very much <3 Death family mwah

- Missa still kind of goes missing because of vigilante stuff

- The Ender King is here too everybody cheer!! A figure from his past haunting Philza, he decided to relocate himself and his kids to a place where a friendly face, Rose, can help them out. He would’ve brought Missa too if he wasn’t missing.

- Missa comes back after being missing to his vanished family with no signs of where they went. With little to no options he takes Bad’s offer to stay in a petting zoo for the time being while he figures everything out. Yes, this is still canon. I think it’s funny. Spider-Man needs to have a moment like this.

- Ender King probably targets Missa too but he’s been Spider-Man for like maybe 3 years at that point so he’s kind of like ?!?!? but you know. With experience.

- If anything, I think this plotpoint is when the identity reveal with each other happens because Philza is highkey freaking out finding out his husband is back AND The Ender King found this out first so now he’s racing to save this oblivious wet cat of a man (who he doesn’t know is Spider-man and is actually holding up againts him decently well)

- I don’t know if Missa has any special powers but I have been toying with the idea that he dies on the job once only to get revived. Death Spider Powers be bestowed upon thee. He has marks on his body akin to his skeleton after this happens. Maybe he Gwen Stacy’s it. I’m working on it

[merao-mariposa]

I have your back, you have my heart

Day three of the pissa/death duo week! This au was the idea of @amymorningstar ​​in this post I really wanted to write about the Mafia Pissa and this was a good excuse for!

“Mafia + I promised you as long as I'm with you you'll never be alone again”

(…)

Philza Minecraft had been on the dark side of the streets for a very long, long time, since his first interventions dismantling brothels that were a little too... “flexible” with the idea of consent going to authentic inhumane places, all falling under the scourge of the Angel of Death until a man, a friend, appeared in front of him with the idea of dominating the criminal world, converting it to his ideals. That was a long time ago but corruption spreads like a fire in gasoline and Phil was there to suffocate it until it went out.

Maybe it was his cruelty in how he snuffed out the lives of those corrupt men that led him to pay the karma he was paying right now, he doesn't know.

The man sitting at his desk looked miserable for say the least, from the outside you feel the discord in the trademark half-twisted hat or the uncorked bottle of wine resting on his messy desk but you can see how the damage runs deeper than that if you know Philza well enough, the immaculate two pieces-suit stand out like a sore thumb on a man so casual and relaxed, the white shirt is buttoned at the neck almost restrictively, and his trail of beard is just a little more prominent than it has been in recent months.

The last few months, that sugar-filled almost year where mafia boss BOLAS had been closer to being an angel than he would ever be since he lived in what he could only call heaven.

His arrival in heaven was a young man with messy, dark hair. His purple eyes dragged him deep into the flames of hell now that they were no longer looking at him.

The fact that he had no one else to blame but himself didn't make it any easier.

But when Sinfonia appeared everything was perfect. He was reserved but easy to smile, aloof but with loyal friends, so pathetic (and cute) yelling at the slightest threat but he was a real threat in front of some of the most ruthless members of BOLAS, selective but had two beautiful kids who looked alike barely in the whites of the eyes, even his last name “Sinfonia” evidenced the harsh contradiction that surrounds the object of the crow's loves, a man as gifted in every possible musical instrument as if he had the Midas touch, and yet that very appropriate last name wasn't real. His Missa was a set of contradictions and embarrassing coincidences over knots in lavender stems.

Which in retrospect must have been a loud alarm, a siren announcing the disaster that his false moon left in its wake in the crow's heart.

It turns out that his love lied, the fire burning inside him to abandon important meetings for the sole purpose of sharing more time of his life with him as opposed to the absolute security of being understood as someone returning to his childhood home (beloved, cared, welcome) with the ease of riding a bike. All of that had been a waste.

The soft hugs that lulled him into deep dreams (chasing away the nightmares that Missa shouldn't know about for his own good) to the chaste kisses all over the face that released the negativity from his husband's shoulders (and if instead of being a result of his low self-esteem was his guilt taking charge?) to the private kisses that said “I miss you” and “one last time, love” without the words, all were nothing but lies.

Not that he had cared much about anything at that moment, he found himself focused on his children (because now they were also Phil's children) they were angels and he only had the head to raise them with Missa, who returned with a sweeter demeanor after his night walks and long work trips, he tenderly asked for nap together as a family.

He should have questioned more why Missa disappeared like that, coincidentally, just when Phil was paying for the services of the most dangerous mercenary on the black market, unlike the assassins he had on his payroll, this guy had the prestige of killing only with his touch, too lethal and above all cautious, Phil did not even met him in person, they only contacted through third parties who agreed on the service and only told about his violet hood and his skull mask. It is said; no one has seen his face and lived to tell.

Like I said before; Phil is old, he's been in the environment for years where only an intelligent man could live as long as he does, with that in mind how was it possible that he didn't know that his sweet husband was actually the most dangerous bastard in the underworld? Shocked by the discovery, in this kind of world, someone you trust can stab you in the back so how can you trust a man who lied to you?

And Missa knew who Philza Minecraft was, what his name means, he always knew, he did always know when something had gone wrong and Philza needed more comfort, always two steps ahead of his needs because he knew it.

The time after their fight breaks up, everything is a drunken blur in the crow's mind, he doesn't remember what they said, he only knows the screams and the revolver clicking in his left pocket while Missa, The Reaper or whoever it was have knowledge of the gun in his pocket and as soon as he pointed it at the man he said he loved time ago the gun was already on the ground, rolling behind this man who was unrecognizable to Phil, the shouting match continued more heated after the blonde pointed his gun at the helpless and clumsy Missa.

That was the last time he saw Missa.

Phil has been so distracted, tired and paranoid since then, even the security is a disaster ignoring the advice of the rest of BOLAS. Philza has scattered guards in unimportant areas, some stuck to him all day but the majority watch that Missa does not return or get close to the children (his children; Missa's own children) Chayanne almost bites him at the slightest suspicion of not being able to see his father, so his impenetrable fortress suddenly becomes a weak place.

Literally and metaphorically

He ordered several guards not to even dream of setting foot in certain areas of the family mansion (those such as the music room, the kitchen and the art studio, any room with traces of Missa must remain identical to how it was before his departure, as if they were waiting for him)

Philza feels betrayed and hurt but above all he is so confused, his rational mind tells him to defend himself, to put up the highest walls to protect himself, his organization and his family but his family is Missa. He is outside and Philza once promised that he will demolish every wall in the world that did not open its doors for the man with purple eyes.

And yet here he is.

Inside his fortress it can breathe the air of a broken family, the kids have believed him for the moment but the tension is felt increasing with every minute they pass without hearing from their papa. Inside the fortress are no longer him and his chicks but a greedy and lonely crow with two brittle shells and a broken heart.

The days pass in that agony until there is a surprise attack from which they cannot respond.

Tensions with the Federal mafia had gotten much worse in recent months, after his formal alliance with Soulfire he did not believe they were going to attack seriously.

But they did.

Thank his Goddess, thank The Lady for allowing Chayanne and Tallulah to be in the school while the white clad mercenaries broke down every door and shot at anything that moved.

At least Missa would get them back and they would be together again. Just as they should have been before he and his greedy hope for a family took that away from them.

As soon as his office door is kicked down one of those white masked sons of bitches puts his hands on him, something happens.

Penetrating in his vision when he sees him but there is stealth in his steps, he is the only one to notice his presence until two bullets (how quickly are repeated) knock down two of the men to dead, wound another in the shoulder, and the last one misses just centimeters away for paint the wall with Philza's skull.

Four shots, two fired before the reaction time of their distracted predators and attacked from the purest darkness, shots fly towards the door and if it was not absolutely broken after that rude kick it is now unusable, falling from its hinges under the siege and behind it are no signs of the mysterious shooter.

Tense seconds pass until one of the feds quickly puts one of his dirty hands in Phil's hair, pulling hard on the golden strands in a hissing threat and that's when he enters the scene.

The men on each side of the door were the first to fall, one quickly takes the place of his fallen companion, his gun raised, ready to shoot, followed by the one with the shot in the shoulder, unfortunately with that wound he is not able to shoot at time to prevent another bullet from the darkness from taking the life of the other one.

The bullets fly again while the threshold of the door swallows the corpse, dragging it out and soon, very soon, his savior enters the room with a constant step carrying the dead body as a kind of human shield.

A well-placed shot, other fall.

And the guy who touched him is one of them, his screams are muffled by his mask and by the gunshots exploding around him.

Phil hides under his desk as fast as he can but not before taking a bullet in the shoulder, it hurts like shit.

But it seems that it hurts them more because he can hear how one by one the white masks fall with sharp blows, they could barely scream in horror before fall with a fatal shott.

Fast, efficient and lethal

When it seems that the rain of bullets is ending, Phil distinguishes the voices from outside his office. That sounds like… Chainsaws? And laughs Phil knows immediately that his best people, who should be with his children, are on and from what he hears they are having fun.

He slowly peeks out of his desk, his hand warm from the blood dripping from his shoulder, and finally sees the reason of his recent insomnia.

Missa, or also known as The Reaper, moves almost with grace but the anger burns in his every movement, it is a wild spectacle as soon as the bullets run out, each man who even tries to get close to Phil is shot down with ease, he watch in trance as his husband smash anyone who tries to get close to him to pieces.

“M- Missa…?” he comes out as a dismayed whisper

The Reaper turns to look at him for half a second, which one of them takes advantage of to kick him in the stomach. Missa lets out a grunt of acute pain but holds the guy's leg with his hands, taking advantage of pushing him forward, knocking another of them against the favorite glass table.

The two guys are left on the floor, one on top of the other and one's suit is now full of glass.

And just like that Missa goes for the next one and Phil can only watch in shock.

Missa is The Reaper, The Reaper is Missa. They are both the same person; they have been forever.

Missa, his Missa is his mercenary and his mercenary is his husband.

he approaches, slowly, as slowly as he can with a bullet embedded in his shoulder. The cacophony of screams shakes the floor and Philza suddenly realizes that he must have gone down to the panic room.

The weight of not doing so clings to his shoulders, the clear implications trying to cross the capo’s tired mind like a malicious whisper makes him feels so wrong, so manipulative.

But he was waiting for him to save him

Of a thousand people in this aggressive environment who swore their loyalty to him and finds himself depending on the arrival of the one who not only never swore anything to him but also betrayed him.

Oh well, who betrayed who?

After yelling at him for lying to him when he also lied, pointing a gun at him and taking him away from his own children, he knows that the Philza of the past would have sent him to hell for ruining the things with Missa.

Missa knew who he was before, he knew it from very early on and that affected Phil, it made him feel cornered and at a disadvantage. He realized at that moment that he was afraid; he didn't fear the hitman under his roof as much as he feared the man under his sheets. feared he was so vulnerable letting him walk around the red mafia's base of operations, taking the children to school every morning, training Chayanne and hearing Tallulah's flute in the distance did terrified him, his worst nightmare was in how his heart was warmed by them so soft and gentle in the reaper's expert hands he could take out his heart and the worst thing is that he would have left it in order to see the children and Missa every morning when he woke up.

My God, he was crazy, he went crazy when he fell in love with him and even crazier when Phil sabotaged his own happiness.

Loneliness tasted bitter on his lips, power and honor became poison with the diffuse days, with his cold bed at night, with his absence piercing his chest.

The last man fell and with the elegance of a dancer stabbed by a steel dagger into his chest, he did the same with the other two men on the ground. The Reaper left no witnesses or loose ends.

He could hear in the distance Baghera and Cellbit stopping their chainsaws which was a good sign. The Federation had basically sent a mini army to his grounds and he partly wondered if his men knew that Missa was there with him.

His name tasted salty when it finally left Phil's lips in a whisper, it tasted like the tears he shed every time he was sober to remember his absence. Behind that mask it is almost impossible to perceive the purple eyes but he knows well that look that is hidden in front of him.

Missa wipes the blood on his own pants with slow movements, the dagger pressed against his thigh until it's clean enough.

“Missa…” Phil insists, he shouldn't insist to the man who has the dagger, especially when he is hurt.

The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as he feels (not sees) the intense gaze on his shrunken figure, well, at least he now has his attention. The purple eyes that he loves so much scan him from top to bottom and a wave of shame hits the stunned and guilty part of his subconscious as he remembers how he looks even worse for being in the middle of a fucking shootout. That wasn't how he would have wanted to see him again see but it was the most likely way to meet again now that he knew they were in the same work area

His eyes seem to linger on the wound on his shoulder and if he could see his husband's face, he would say he was not pleased with it.

“…Phil” Missa's voice sounds like a late greeting and is focused on him.

Goddess, how he had missed that voice

The professional, and infamous mercenary approaches, a little more hesitant than he should for a man of his reputation and a wave of affection breaks over Philza, he too takes a single step closer and they are looking at each other as the first time, feels like looking at the moon at its peak or the sun descending. He can't, he doesn't have the right to act like a wet cat after tearing up his enemies and expecting Phil to be normal about it. Missa just can't do that to him, he bites back a light laugh and takes another step in his direction. noticing that there is blood on his clothes and some cuts on it but if I had to guess I would say that most of it is from the others and Phil is already losing blood himself.

Missa takes another step, knowing the bleeding has stopped and believing the bullet grazed but he won't be sure until he concentrates on something other than mustering the words to ask him to fucking take off the mask.

Fortunately, he seems to read his mind as Phil doesn't even finish taking another slow step towards him when the mask is finally gone, The Reaper has officially left the room and his husband looms in front of him in his place. Is it strange to say that death is good for him? His face, his hair and the sparkle in his eyes or is the blonde just delirious?

Be that as it may, it doesn't take long for them to find themselves in the middle of the destroyed office as if it were his own world.

"You went"

“You kicked me out.”

“You still shouldn't have left” he replied very intelligently and Missa smiled, a little nervous.

“Does it hurt so much?” The black-haired man worried, looking at his injured shoulder and Philza wasn't having his partner distracted just like that.

"No, no. It doesn't hurt" He responded, knowing that lies were not the best for the relationship at this time.

Missa frowned like a kitten about to sneeze but he allowed this one for him, just for now.

“You… you're right Philza” Missa lowered his head in shame and a confuse “what?” died in the blonde's throat.

"I shouldn't have left-"

“I pointed at you with a gun, mate” he interrupted, feeling guilty and a little freaked out by whatever that means, it all was his fault, why was Missa saying that?

“Still, I should have stayed, I wanted to stay” hesitantly he noticed how Missa’s arms floated loosely around him. They weren't very elegant clothes, just good enough for work and Philza wanted to focus on that and the stains of blood all over his man instead of the new confession, after everything he did, but how could Missa still wanted him?

“Missa…”

“I promised, right?” Phil raised his head suddenly, searching for his gaze between the strands of black hair that escaped from his messy ponytail. “I always keep my promises, dear”

When the members of Bolas made sure they had the entire area clean, they advanced, covering the entire perimeter until they climbed the stairs that led to the red leader's office, they found themselves face to face with the splintered frame of the door, an office in an absolute disaster. with the imposing doors thrown next to the lifeless bodies and in the eye of that past storm was the mob boss.

Philza was leaning against his desk (which was out of its place) the purple cloth acted as an improvised tourniquet and in his arms was the waist of a tall man with black hair that they had trouble recognizing at first if it weren't for the clear display of affection, unaware that they had company. Now Phil kept his face buried in the taller man's torso as if he were afraid to let him go again and Missa hummed, deeply satisfied with having his little bird in his arms again, he carefully avoided the other man's shoulder but remained attentive, didn't want to leave that wound out of sight until he could drag his husband stubborn ass to the infirmary. Ignoring the living and dead audience, the couple was trapped in their own world, little giggles that didn't seem to go anywhere, dying and returning with each other's laughter in a vicious circle, finally together.

“I promised you, I didn’t? as long as I'm with you you'll never be alone again, cuervito”

EXTRA:

“You look pretty good with that ponytail you know, mate?”

“Philza!”

“So, guys, do I tell Jaiden that there will be no divorce?”

“Shut the fuck up, Charlie”

[pixiecaps]

after many streams and qsmp members talkin about it… i set off on a mission. like a typical weekday i woke up early to do groceries and i hit up my local latin supermarket. i bought ingredients to make hallacas.. but thats another rough journey that lies ahead. i then focus all my attention on what i really came here for. my grand mission. finding the Guaraná. the brazilian soda i had heard so much about mainly from philza minecraft as this british man seemed enamored by it.

i head for the soda aisle and begin searching. i pass by the american sodas and in a cool movie voice say, “this isnt about you.” i walk forth and pass by Jarritos, Frescolitas, Inca Cola, and so many many more. Doom and gloom sets in as i reach the end of the aisle and i find everything EXCEPT THE GUARANÁ. i begin to think how could this have happened? theres clearly something afoot. i must have missed something. anything. an overstimulated and rather depressed pixiecaps is left to do the only damn thing that i know in this world. i walk towards the eggnog as this shall surely cure my woes.. and then i spot it. an empty shopping cart with but one item inside. the Guaraná. all my crushed dreams and hopes are revived. its here. it exists somewhere in this damn market. the lady who’s shopping cart it belongs walks past and a very socially inept pixiecaps proceeds to not ask her where she found it. i instead gawk at her soda like a predator spotting its prey and frankly she probably thought i was fucking weird. i politely nod and walk away with a reinvigorated spirit. i will find that fucking soda if its the last thing i do.

just then i recall moments prior when i was standing at the venezuelan section looking at the candies and sweets of my childhood. reminiscing of the time i told a bunch of tumblr bloggers about these same treats. and then it hits me. how could i have been such a fool? the brazil section.

now ive been to this market a million times now and never have i ever seen a brazil section but that didnt stop me from searching. i pass honduras, i pass peru, i pass haiti, and then i see it. like the light at the end of the tunnel. “BRAZIL 🇧🇷” now i wont lie it was in the complete opposite area of the venezuelan section so i believe thats why i have never seen it in my entire life. but finally the end of my journey had arrived as i zoom in on my target. the Guaraná. i cheer, i dance, i cry.. internally. i physically pick up the box, put it in my cart, and mosey my way to the checkout line.

my entire life has led up to this very moment… i crack it open… i take a sip…

8/10

[by-speaker]

Hunting someone (ENG. VER.)

prompt by @raven-cincaide-words

Philza, Techno and Tommy had been walking for days, only resting for a couple of hours until they reached the next town, travelling from town, to town, to find contracts, until they reached Karmaland. 

It was a small town, near a river and a forest, with beautiful sunflower fields and corn crops. Peculiar cuisine and more peculiar locals, but it was a good place to spend the winter, away from the cold walls of L'Manburg. 

“Ah” said Tommy running to the stream, “Fresh water” shouted the teenager bending down to drink. 

“I wouldn't do that if I were you,” said a voice on the other side of the stream, “a little further up, the laundresses do the washing.”

Philza looked up to see the most beautiful man he had ever seen, his hair as black as ebony, his skin as pale as snow, and his eyes as purple as amethysts. 

Tommy stopped dead in his tracks inches from the water, Techno, out of habit and caution, gripped the hilt of his sword handle.

“Thank you for the warning,” Philza said, taking Tommy by the shoulder, pulling him close to her side, shielding him from the stranger, “We are travellers, from L'Manburg Do you know where there might be an inn?”

The man smiled at them, “Of course, I know a place. Follow me, the bridge is a few yards further on.” He said pointing to the west, “I'm Missa, Missa Sinfonia, by the way, a pleasure.”

“I'm Philza Minecraft, these are my sons, Technoblade and Tommy Innit.” Philza said, taking Carl by the reins and following the karmalience along the bank of the stream. 

Missa laughed, “Aren't you a little young to be a father?” the lad asked. 

Philza laughed too, “Well, I say they're my children, but they're more like little pests that have stuck to me along the way.”

Both boys grumbled, “He's not even that young,” Tommy complained. 

“He's a decrepit old man, he's even hallucinating now, he actually thinks he has a wife.” Techno said, signalling that Phil was crazy. 

Philza rolled her eyes, “I have a wife, she's a goddess, yes, but she's completely real.”

Missa watched them with curiosity and amusement, “An etarian, a piglin, a puppy and a goddess,’ she said to no one in particular, “you'll fit right in Karmaland.”

As they crossed the bridge, Missa led them quickly to a house, it had a stable outside and a sign that read, “El Chiringuito de Juan”, when Missa stopped, the three of them stopped in their tracks. 

“Illo!” Missa shouted at the top of his lungs, “I brought you guests!”

From inside emerged a man, wearing a pink shirt, a straw hat, white shorts, sandals, and a cigar between his lips, “Missa, what a good man, come in, come in.”

Night fell over Karmaland, the air thick and heavy with the rustle of the forest. Philza, Techno and Tommy settled into the beach bar, enjoying a decent meal after days on the road. Philza, however, could not get the conversation he had had with Juan, the owner of the inn, about the ‘beast’ that inhabited the nearby woods out of his mind.

“They say it is a demon, a creature that has never been seen, but everyone has felt its presence. The villagers don't even dare to go near its territory. What's more, some don't return,” Juan had warned, his eyes fixed on Philza.

Philza, being a monster hunter, knew that this meant a lucrative contract. If he managed to hunt the beast, he would not only get good pay, but also the respect of the people.

“That wolf from the legends? Is it real?” asked Tommy, excited by the idea of a new adventure.

“Oh sure, kid,” said Illo, releasing the smoke from his cigar, “You guys hunt monsters, right? You should talk to Lolo, he's the mayor, that critter has been buggin‘ us for months.”

That was enough for Philza to decide to go after the beast. 

(…) 

The man had brought a cub to the entrance of Missa's territory, that cub now belonged to Missa.

Naively, the cub had decided to go after the ‘beast’ on his own. And Missa smiled as he watched the blond walk towards the entrance of his territory. Was the man so careless not to take care of the most precious part of his clan?

The moonlight illuminated the forest, making it seem a little less gloomy, as Tommy moved deeper and deeper into the forest, armed with an iron sword and his bravery, he advanced through the rustling trees. It was clear to Missa that the cub had gone into his forest only to prove to the rest of his team that he was brave. 

He vaguely remembered the conversation the cub and his father had had at the inn, how the younger blond was not prepared to hunt on his own. 

Missa watched him curiously, his eyes glowing a curious amber colour, his paws touching the earth carefully, following the scent of the pup, a soft scent of sweet apple, innocence and mint, the last scent must have belonged to Philza, and marked him as a member of her pack. Humans were extremely careless with their young, leaving them to roam unprotected in unfamiliar territory. It was a shame, but if Philza wasn't going to take care of the cub, Missa would. 

The sound of rustling leaves and a snapping branch alerted the wolf and the pup, who nervously raised his sword even higher. 

“Hey bitch,” said the boy, “come out, I'm not afraid of you.”

That was a lie, Missa could smell how nervous the boy was. And well if the boy was going to be so rude, Missa was going to teach him a lesson.

A low, guttural growl echoed through the trees, making the leaves tremble. Tommy spun around, trying to locate the source of the sound, but the echo of the forest made it impossible. Cold sweat was beginning to trickle down his back, and his hand trembled slightly as he held the sword.

Missa moved through the shadows, his paws barely skimming the leaf-covered ground. He was much larger in his wolf form, his night-black fur blending into the darkness of the forest, only his amber eyes shining like beacons in the gloom. He decided to play a little with his prey, after all, pups needed to learn manners.

Another growl, this time closer, right behind Tommy. The boy turned sharply, but found only darkness.

“H-hello?” Tommy's voice didn't sound so brave any more, “Look, you stupid beast, if you don't come out right now, I'll-”

A howl cut through the air, so close that Tommy could feel the hot breath on the back of his neck. He froze in place, his heart pounding so hard he could hear it in his ears. Slowly, very slowly, he turned around.

There, less than a metre away, stood the beast. A gigantic wolf, bigger than any animal Tommy had ever seen, stared at him with eyes that glittered like molten gold. Its fangs, white and sharp as daggers, gleamed in the moonlight.

The sword slipped from Tommy's trembling hands, falling with a thud onto the dry leaves.

“Oh, shit,” he whispered.

[itdobenox]

How is HE here…

[fr-likes-chocolate]

Excuse my self-indulgent ramblings about a ship that of which I am the only shipper.

…

SO SKIZZPULSEZA AU HUH???

Philza Minecraft comes out of the Squidcraft games (for those unaware its a squid games minecraft event run by the Spanish MCYTs and a couple English were invited)

He's won, and wont ever have to work again. The money hes been given will set him up for life.

There's one problem, he lost his beloved partner, Missa, to the violence of the games. Missa had always been the musician in the house, playing songs on his guitar for Phil. With Missa dead, Phil’s house feels empty and quiet. With nothing left for him here, Phil decides to move to be closer to his family.

Impulse and Skizz are apart of a well known band that plays at different restaurants throughout the city. One night Impulse notices a man in the crowd looking really upset, so during a break he goes over to see if he can cheer the guy up.

Phil is really charmed that some random guy came up to him and tried to cheer him up. They talk for a little before the man excuses himself to get back up on stage and continue performing.

Skizz and the other bandmates are all wondering what the hell that was about, but Impulse is happy that Phil looks happier and is actively paying attention to the band.

By the end of the night, Phil feels way better. Its been so long since hes had music in his life and god has he missed it. Before leaving the restaurant he is sure to pick up a schedule of the band and where they will be playing.

For a few months Phil goes to all the band’s gigs, and Impulse spends the breaks talking to him. Skizz naturally starts hanging out with them during breaks because he wants to meet this Phil guy Imp keeps talking about.

And yeah! They slowly fall in love! Ofc there's other things like Phil feeling like hes betraying Missa for falling in love with Imp and Skizz and Impulse and Skizz have to deal with the fact their their newfound boyfriend won a death game and is a millionaire.

[lmanburs]

PHILZA MINECRAFT THE ONLY MAN EVER

[spiritualviolation]

okay while i’m here, i was thinking about that one post about how q!phil isn’t going to take q!forever’s imprisoning attempts on him lightly so i wrote a very disorganised thing here

------------

philza isn’t brumin. forever fails to see otherwise.

sure, they may look extremely identical, but that’s about where the similarities pretty much end. forever may see his former lover in phil’s eyes, but he fail to see his own reflection in them; that to phil, he’s still a stranger to him even if he was kind enough to lend a boat to him during his first night.

philza isn’t brumin. he still fails to realize that even as he declares his love for him, even as he plots to put phil in prison if he still continues to refuse it. just because he uncannily shares an appearance with a man he intimately used to know, it’s not going to be the same.

phil isn’t brumin. forever’s biggest mistake is thinking otherwise.

phil doesn’t share the same stories as brumin. tales of a cold, ruthless empire doesn’t escape the whole world, but when they talk about it, they always remember the crowned pig who proudly bears his bloodied cape, that facing him on the opposite side only meant certain doom. they always neglect to mention the black-winged angel that trails right after him, and it is on his tail that devastation and destruction is much more certain to follow. the shivers of his impact leaves far more ruination than his ally does.

perhaps there’s a reason they don’t mention him as often.

people often think the reason why he’s regaled as the angel of death was because of his impressive nature to survive on one single life for so long, but that was not the only reason.

of course, not many know the correlation between the mild caretaker living on top of the walls and the angel of death, but many do know that philza is a fierce protector. not a single tale has insinuated that the angel has betrayed or would ever betray his closest ally, but when he himself is betrayed, the magnitude of his retribution is unspeakable.

regardless, many know to not cross the angel of death.

many would not know to not cross philza minecraft either. he isn’t afraid to take revenge in unsavoury ways if you were to ever hurt his children, he is always paranoid and at the ready to protect them if ever they were in danger. and were you to rip him away from them, he will do whatever it takes to get back to them.

it may be easy to imprison him, but they’ll need a lot more effort to keep him in there, because if he escapes only once, he’ll never go back in. once he feels justified in getting back at them, he’ll bite back in the hardest of ways until he feels satisfied. he’ll claw his way out if he has to, and he’d rather break his nails to break the bars before he ever considers breaking under the whims of forced love.

they’ll not just incur the wrath of a fighter, but if you even dare to threaten his children...

angel of death or not, they’ll be incurring the much more dangerous wrath of a father.

[antimony-medusa]

Hello please yell at me about your thoughts on Philza Minecraft QSMP edition :3

I LOVE HIM. Paranoid, paranoid survivalist man. Constantly aware of everything around him. Knows his exits. Walks into a strip club and gets immediate sensory overload. Dad of multiple eggs and he'll keep them safe or he'll die trying. Can't have a five minute conversation without men deciding to flirt with him. Backstory of destruction and conquest but wanting to stay even-keeled now. Anarchist who believes in people over governments. Photographer clinking around to get a good perspective shot.

AND NOW HE"S BEEN CAGED?

The funny thing is I've gotten very close to burned out on DSMP Dadza, because my main was always Technoblade and like— that relationship is not parent-child. Those are war buddies. So the Dadza stuff is always like "okay fine, but when are we going to go back to seeing Philza Minecraft as a peer" (we never go back to seeing him as a peer it's only ever dad, I weep every day), but QSMP dadza I like. Cause I actually see the dadding in canon with the eggs, and also there are so many other dads also here who we can interact with as adults, so finally, FINALLY the dad-coding is not meaning that nobody sees my guy as a person beyond his familial role.

I have read some kind of egregious family dynamic stuff when desperately searching for emduo content, you guys.

But QSMP! He's a dad! And he's also a person! I have been RELEASED. And also he gets to kiss people? What a time to be alive, let's fuckin' go. I should write more QSMP.