#Peter donaldson

[violivs]

Just saw the movie Challengers and what my webseries-loving heart is getting from this is that if a man’s last name is Donaldson, he WILL be extremely bisexual and angsty.

[itshelia]

My mom to her friends, my aunts, and literally everyone she knows: Yeah, my kid is so smart. She is on her phone a lot of the time, but it's not like you guys think, She is not like how kids nowadays are, She reads a lot of books on her phone!!

Me, a fanfic reader who can survive off nothing but just words and day dreams herself to sleep:

[aesthetic-bbyg]

Reading so many tumblr fics has completely ruined me from ever reading a Wattpad story that ain’t in 2nd person POV😭😭

[swetearss]

sorry for always being the first like in your fic, i just check the 'x reader' hashtag constantly

[veryberryjelly]

LAST DAY

to send in requests for my 1.5k dinner party! i’m you by to continue writing the requests i haven’t already posted but today is the last day to send something in!

send asks to my inbox !

[logray]

zendaya collecting white boys of the month like they’re infinity stones (insp.)

bonus:

[zornofzorna-blog]

I remember seeing a very fine production of Much Ado at the Stratford Festival in Stratford Ontario in 2006 that starred Lucy Peacock and the late Peter Donaldson as a middle-aged Beatrice and Benedick.

I thought it worked very well! You could really believe that the pair had history and had been dancing around each other for decades.

Looking it up, I see that Lucy Peacock was 45 at the time, and Peter Donaldson was 52, making them a little older than the typical Beatrice and Benedick. (By contrast, Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh were in their thirties when they did Much Ado, and David Tennant and Catherine Tate were a youthful 40 and 41, respectively.)

Still, I could see the play being staged with an even older B&B! (I know the Stratford Festival did a highly acclaimed production in 1998 with Martha Henry and Brian Bedford, then 60 and 63, respectively, in the lead roles, though I did not have the pleasure of seeing it myself.) I agree that some jokes in the play get funnier the older the actors delivering them, and other bits carry greater weight.

The idea of a much younger B&B is funny, too!

Adaptations of Much Ado I'd like to see:

Hero and Claudio are still young, but Benedick and Beatrice are much older. "I know you of old" carries literal decades of meaning. Beatrice going on about men with beards or without gets even funnier. Benedick resigning from the Prince's service is a huge deal because he's served for a very long time. Having a different sworn brother every week is super cringe. "The world must be peopled", Beatrice is 20 years post menopause.

Or, the flip side. B&B are super young. They keep talking about being sworn off love for life but they're like 20. Their feud probably goes back to one of them throwing sand at the other in primary school.

[florabellalove]

LET ME SPEAK MY TRUTH 🦢🫶🏼

sometimes I just want to read a reverse comfort fic about some big burly character absolutely breaking down, call it a saviour kink or whatever but there seems to be an absence in this world

[xspeter]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐎𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞

basically, i’m trying to get into writing again and what better way to do it then taylor swift!! im not saying this will be updated regularly, or even SEMI regularly.. just kinda at my pace.

anywho, please enjoy these as they come out!

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄 - 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐀𝐘𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐊

➤ 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐗𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which two former lovers have moved on and gotten with other people.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐎𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 - 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑

➤ 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑-𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which dean winchester often finds himself in the same place.

𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐘𝐒 - 𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍

➤ 𝐀 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which anthony bridgerton struggles to allow himself to open himself up, even to the first person he ever loved.

𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐁𝐀𝐃 - 𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐒

➤ 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐗𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which a certain small town girl can’t seem to get over her highschool lover.

𝐒𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆, 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐍 - 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐃

➤ 𝐀 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which two souls work on learning to live without each other after an engagement goes up in flames.

𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌 - 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐎𝐍

➤ 𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 in which a private school girl falls for the gardeners son.

𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐇 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 - 𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐍

➤ 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐗-𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which a freshly divorced art finds his way back to the first girl he ever loved.

𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐀 - 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐑𝐀𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑

➤ 𝐀 𝐕𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which conrad fisher learns to live with the yearning, until one summer he learns there’s only one way to get what you want.

𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐍 - 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐔𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘

➤ 𝐀 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which two private school kids enter a secret romance.

𝐖𝐇𝐎’𝐒 𝐀𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄? - 𝐒𝐀𝐌 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑

➤ 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐗𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which sam becomes distant as he grows closer to ruby.

𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 ��𝐈𝐗 𝐇𝐈𝐌 (𝐍𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍) - 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐄

➤ 𝐀 𝐅𝐈𝐗𝐄𝐑-𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which a meeting with a vampire turns into a whirlwind romance.

𝐋𝐎𝐌𝐋 - 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐑

➤ 𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which peter parker can’t seem to let go of the girl he once knew.

𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 - 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐘 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐎𝐍

➤ 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which the pressure finally gets to percy, leaving apollos favorite daughter to pick up the pieces.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐃 - 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍

➤ 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which you look back on yours and luke’s relationship before he left.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐘 - 𝐂𝐄𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐘

➤ 𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which cedric diggory goes above and beyond to win over a certain ravenclaw.

𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐖 - 𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐄

➤ 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 in which two superstars meet once at a club, and then again at the grammys

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 @amorchai 𝐬𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞!

[t1red-twilight]

do you ever feel sad and read fics from fandoms you used to be super into? i revel in that nostalgia. everything is fine, i’m fourteen all over again

[galwithalibrarycard]

This is one of the best NMTD/Lolilo metas I have ever read. Thank you for sharing this incredible analysis @thebirdscomeback and thank you for linking one of my metas in it, I’m beyond honored! 😊💖

the bathtub of emotions: a meta

a little while ago, @cardboardsean and i wondered why baths featured so heavily in nmtd + lolilo and half joked about writing a bath meta. it quickly became all too serious and spiralled out of our control. So here we are. an overly serious bath meta.

With the introduction of the aptly named bathtub of emotion in NMTDaily we start to see the beginnings of what will become central characterisations and dynamics for the rest of the series, continuing into LoLiLo. It’s not a coincidence that the first time we see any vulnerability from Ben is when he’s in a bath isolating himself from a party. Throughout both series, the space of the bath, itself an abnormal, isolated, non-normative setting, becomes a space for the characters to experience non-normative emotions which lay at odds with their social performances in the ‘real world’.

Affect and queer theorist Sara Ahmed coined the term ‘affect alien’ to describe a(n often queer) subject who, because of their inability or unwillingness to conform with broader societal expectations for emotional experiences and responses, comes to feel literally ‘out of place’. Emotional displacement becomes spatial displacement. In NMTD and LoLiLo, almost everyone acts as an affect alien within their friend group/community, especially those who at some point end up making a video in a bathtub. Ben is supposed to be fun and easy-going but feels wildly uncomfortable at his best friend’s party. Bea is supposed to be totally independent and not worry about what anybody thinks but is wildly self-conscious about being into Ben. Pedro’s entire arc being a major identity crisis means he ends up spending more time in a bath than anyone else.

Once Ben removes himself from the Fun Teenage party he’s supposed to having Fun at to go sit in a bath in another room, he immediately expresses an ‘alien’ affect, calling the party ‘incredibly downer’ when it’s clear from all the other videos that (most people) were having fun doing normal party things. He uses the opportunity too, to express his hurt over Bea talking shit about him earlier, perhaps not a queer affect for others, but for Ben, who is supposed to be unbothered by Beatrice, who’s supposed to give off a certain impression, it doesn’t align. He can’t express these feelings when he’s in the main part of the house having the argument with her but moves himself to the differently-affected space of the bath to talk to the camera about them.

Once Claudio joins him, it’s notably on the floor next to the bath, not in the bath itself – a literal separation of space which signifies the disjointedness of their emotional communication in the scene. Where Ben is able to talk about his feelings drunkenly, yet openly, Claudio remains closed off. While he’s sad and jealous, that isn’t an unusual affect for Claudio; we’ve already seen it to an extent and will continue to see it again and again. Ben on the other hand, will never again be so emotionally open in front of a camera, or even in front of another person. The conversation between them goes so poorly because of the affectual alienation between them that is bounded by space.

When Pedro joins Ben in the bathtub of emotion, the dynamic totally shifts. Both characters now inhabit the queerly affected space and as they do, their normative dynamic changes. While we know Pedro by now to the be the Conflict Resolver of the group, the one who can chill Ben out and tone down Claudio’s jealousy, here, we see Ben take up that mantle. Pedro’s drunk, doesn’t know what’s going on, and is definitely not in a state to be solving any problems. Ben might be much the same way, but in the bath, he tries. We’ll see this again from Ben, later, but for now it’s a shift in character that’s facilitated by a different spatiality. He’s in costume, he’s not in his bedroom, he can be another person- or really- another side of himself.

For Ben and Bea in BLEURGH, a similar emotional disassociation occurs. It’s the first time we properly see them together since they’ve been in a relationship and while it’s still very much Ben and Bea, we’ve never seen them act this way with anybody. In my own and others’ conceptions of their relationship, especially into LoLiLo, both of them maintain some level of self-conscious concern about what being in a relationship means for their identity. They’ve built identities around being people who don’t need relationships, who aren’t interested in them and are fine by themselves. Now, they’re caught between two desires, they still want to be independent, they also still want each other. One of these desires, therefore, has to be affectively alien to the other. The bath then, becomes a space where all of these feelings can exist together. When Ben and Bea flirt and are physically affectionate in the bath, which they’d previously been disgusted by (another societally mal-affected emotion), they can do so because they have given themselves the liberty of a space outside of space. Here, their romantic feelings or lack thereof don’t need to make sense, they don’t need to conform to normative societal expectations or the expectations they’ve set for themselves. They can simply exist as they are.

These emotional spaces that Ahmed would describe as ‘out of line’ continue into LoLiLo. By positioning the first Balth in a Bath videos straight after the first video of the series, we are immediately given a signpost. By utilising a strange setting, by developing the bath as a space for queer affect, the show is introduced as a narrative of ‘out of place’ feeling. Obsessive anxiety hangs over watching movies and playing games. Calm comes in the face of total restriction and control. People are in love and hate each other and are best friends all at once. Everyone ends up hurt and no one ends up apologising.

In February, Ben is likely filled with conflicting feeling. He’s excited about moving to Wellington but devastated about leaving Bea. He knows he’s supposed to be excited about university but maybe, now that it’s starting for real, he doesn’t feel quite the same way. So he responds the only way he knows how: with a camera and a bath. And his choice to invite Balth is meaningful too. Ben and Balth knew each other in high school obviously but weren’t close. The affective atmosphere has shifted between them now that they share a space and Ben’s anxious about connecting with Balth in a way he hasn’t done before. Hanging out with him in the bath, this mal-aligned space, is a lot easier than the space of the flat which has housemate dynamics and tensions already developing and is in a new city. The bath can exist outside of that space, it can be the bath at Pedro’s house or Ben’s house; familiar and free of the pressure of developing a friendship out of the necessity of living together.

In GUNGE, Ben hangs on to this idea, the golden emotive combination of a bath and a camera. The camera has of course at this point become part of the problem and the bath no longer works its powers either. He’s become so aware that this space can be used to prompt an emotional shift that it no longer works, it only serves to drive him deeper into the emotional intensity of his situation. We haven’t seen Ben, or anyone else for that matter, alone in a bath since Pedro’s party and now he seems almost transported back to that affective space. The bath, since that time, has become a space for connection, relationship building, and Ben being alone now means he no longer has access to the intimacy and understanding the bath gives room for. Instead, he is simply left to wallow in his own affective atmosphere which at the moment, has little connection or intimacy in it at all.

Balth and Pedro are the most obvious utilisers of the queer bath space (and not only because of the queerness). We see a few really good hours of them here that really highlight the best of their relationship but it’s very likely their dynamic was not nearly as chill in general at this time. There’s tension pushing between them from all sides; Peter’s rapidly devolving mental state, an unresolved ‘look’ and a friendship that’s been left to trail off. Now, they can leave the tension outside and act however they’re compelled to act with each other. Balth expects himself to be closed off and unaffected and Peter is likely already getting ideas about isolating himself. Moreover, there are social norms about how to act after a failed love declaration with the person you’re in love with. There’s none of the awkwardness or drama we’ll see between them for the rest of the series. Just the most non-sensical conversation possible. Even while being actively addressed, the camera/audience seems to disappear in the space; the emotional world they are creating together totally overrides the faux-world of the videos. They are given a chance to build their own queerly felt relationship which snaps the bounds of the tension-filled atmosphere which will continue to box them in through the rest of the series.

For Balth and Peter, the bath not only acts as a space for emotional abnormality, but for temporal unintelligibility as well. By spacing out the bath videos across time, months after their filming and amongst an entirely different affectual atmosphere, they take on an entirely new meaning. What Balth and Peter of second semester are feeling often directly contradicts their feelings in February and as a tool for showing their conflicting emotional states, it’s used to great effect, most notably in the climax of the series. Here, Balth and Peter inhabit two emotional spaces at once, and ultimately a space outside of any physically grounded emotional world. Ben is able to use this to develop his own perception of their relationship. For him, the affectual atmosphere in the bath videos becomes not one of unintelligibility but a more objective truth (what @cardboardsean delightfully called the ‘bath of truth’) and he uses their past emotional selves to influence their current ones. By allowing a temporal separation between filming and release, the emotions developed in the videos take on a clarity and directness we don’t see for any of the rest of LoLiLo barring perhaps the songs. Following seemingly little outward logic, the timing of the videos becomes queer in itself, failing to align with any normative structures for either the video project as a whole, or the path of a romantic relationship. Balth and Peter travel on a different, queerer track, stopping in none of the right places and always looping back around.  

In BATHTIME, the space is utilised in a similar way for John and Peter’s relationship. PUNISHMENT is still on everyone’s minds and Ben really does not want to give Peter a real punishment, so it’s likely he’s thinking of BiaB (and his own passion for bathtubs) when the bath idea gets decided on. It’s a space where Peter has been able to relax and connect to people he has a strained relationship with in the past and it works again here. It’s the first and only time the bath is used with water in it and it’s the first and only time we see Peter and John having unfiltered fun together. Their affectual atmosphere has changed dramatically, even from their more recent interactions. Even in LoLiLo their dynamic has maintained a tense undertone, it’s clear, even without knowing their history, that something Happened. In the bath that all washes away; their normative emotional state shifts to one which would be more expected for a sibling relationship. Both of them have lived as affect aliens for a long time, Pedro forcing himself into a mould of what would be considered normal but often feeling wrong underneath, John refusing to make himself less alien. It’s a central driver of their antagonism in NMTD, Pedro’s ‘perfect’ emotional and affective world and John’s rejection of positive affect, how they each feel about the other’s emotional responses. It feels like a mutual betrayal; both of them expecting something from the other they don’t yet have the ability to give, even if it would improve their lives and relationship. Therefore, it’s vital that they get a chance to be together in a space where those feelings are made to not matter. John’s determination to join Peter in the bath pushes this further. Joining Peter in this space means collaborating in the creation of a space where they can be together without antagonism or tension or concern or resentment. It’s perfectly summed up by their dialogue as John gets into the bath: “I will fight you” / “No you won’t, you’re my brother.” In this space, there are no cutting ‘half-brother’ comments. There’s only a connection between siblings, the knowledge that Peter won’t fight, but protect John.

By FEATHERS, we get a full-circle bath moment. While Ben suggests filming the vlog in the bath, Peter and Balth no longer need a spatially and socially estranged space to be comfortable together, they can build that world wherever they want. Ben brings it up, but really doesn’t need it either; his suggestion will be rapidly followed by a bunch of people, some of whom he’s only known for a few months, having a pillow fight in his house. Our Pedro Party Ben would take this as an opportunity to get drunk in a bathtub. This Ben not only fully participates but has a really difficult conversation with his girlfriend during it! It’s not that they have adjusted to an emotionally normative society, at least not completely, but they have become less alienated. Their weird, unintuitive, looping emotions don’t have to stay in one place anymore. As Ben and Bea would say, it’s like the universe is just a really big bathroom filled with baths.

[1l0ved1lfs]

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A LOVE ISLAND AU PLEASE

[lemoniiiiiii]

no i don't have a type what are you talking about.

[iloveratmen]

Sometimes I forget other people online are real too

Like hey y’all are mentally ill too?!?!?!!

[chrswlls]

if you see this and you're from discord hi guess who has a new tumblr blog now

[logray]

zendaya collecting white boys of the month like they’re infinity stones (insp.)

bonus: