#Peter Cairn

[geekcavepodcast]

Todd McFarlane Productions Announces "The New U" Titles

Todd McFarlanes Spawn Universe is laying the foundation of a lineup of new comics called "The New U." This new era will follow the events of Spawn #350. The first three "The New U" comics are Sam & Twitch: Case Files, Rat City, and Monolith. "The New U" comics will span a variety of genres, including crime, horror, science-fiction, drama, and comedy.

Sam & Twitch: Case Files puts the detectives front and center in their own series. The comic hails from McFarlane and Jon Goff and artist Szymon Kudrański.

Sam & Twitch: Case Files #1 goes on sale on March 27, 2024.

Rat City, from Erica Schultz and Zé Carlos, follows Peter Cairn, ex-soldier, amputee, and Hellspawn in a post-war future. "But Peter isn't dead like Al. Peter got his Spawn powers from the nanites in his prosthetic legs—nanites that were affected when Al Simmons initiated his necroplasmic detonation in the present. Al had no clue that the effects would ripple across—not just space—and but time as well." (Image Comics)

Rat City #1 goes on sale on April 10, 2024.

Monolith, from Sean Lewis and Valerio Giangiordano, is a three part miniseries that explores the Hellspawn Monolith's origin and what his connection is with Omega Spawn.

Monolith #1 (of 3) goes on sale on May 15, 2024.

(Image via Image Comics - Cover of Sam & Twitch: Case Files #1)

[comicweek]

Erica Schultz Rat City interview

A new Spawn is coming in Spawn: Rat City. In this new Spawn, we go to a completely new character in the future. Spawn of our time is directly connected to the Spawn of 2111, following the world changing events of Spawn 301. Author Erica Schultz breaks down Spawn: Rat City, the state of Rat City Itself, and more on this new endeavor from Image Comics, plus how Spawn creator Todd McFarlane is a part of this far-future Spawn. Al Simmons may not be directly involved, but the world is certainly part of his making in the new Hellspawn’s journey. We’re talking about who Peter Cairn is, what is motivating him to be Spawn, what this book is all about, and how it allies together in Spawn lore.

[sitting-on-me-bum]

Long exposure of sea, with rocks in foreground, Bagh Dhail Mor, Isle of Lewis, Outer Hebrides, Scotland, UK, October 2011

Photographer: Peter Cairns / 2020VISION

[no-side-us]

Letters From Watson Liveblog - Aug. 6

Black Peter, Part 3 of 3

I'm glad Holmes and I agree on the younger Neligan being too weak to harpoon a man, although one of my initial thoughts was that the murderer stabbed Peter Carey with a knife or something, and then proceeded to harpoon him after he was dead, which would give him the time to drive that thing in there instead of all at once.

If I had murdered, sorry, "killed" someone I probably wouldn't want to admit to it in front of a police detective, especially as an attempt to correct him. Regardless, I'm kind of disappointed the culprit didn't turn out to be the older Neligan. I think it would have been more dramatic and made for more of a twist, especially with the younger Neligan as a red herring.

Alright, so Black Peter did pick up Neligan senior, and did leave him behind in a way. Again, I think there's a lot of potential for this to have turned out as a revenge story. The fact old Neligan was willing to leave his wife and child behind could mean he also wouldn't mind his son taking the blame for the crime.

I would rule this as self-defense. And with Peter Carey's reputation it's probably not an uncommon experience for him to pull his knife out on somebody after drinking. And as a harpooner of many years, of course Cairns would instinctively go for his weapon of choice.

Poor young Neligan, wrong place, wrong time, and worse luck when he dropped his notebook. At least this means Hopkins wasn't really that far off since Neligan was basically there when the killing happened. Now that I think about it, if he had gotten there to get back the securities, and Black Peter was still kickin', Neligan would probably be the murder victim.

I'm probably missing something, but why are Holmes and Watson going to Norway? If what Cairns said is true, then the older Neligan never even made it there... Or did he?

No, he's likely dead. Hearing about Norway probably just made Holmes decide to go there with Watson for a vacation or something.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

[keycomicbooks]

Rat City #1 (2024) Ze Carlos Artist, Erica Schultz Writer, 1st Appearance of Peter Cairn

#RatCity #1 (2024) #ZeCarlos Artist, #EricaSchultz Writer, 1st Appearance of #PeterCairn "Untitled" Peter Cairn is an ex-soldier, an amputee, and a Hellspawn in a post-war future. SAVE ON SHIPPING COST - NOW AVAILABLE FOR LOCAL PICK UP IN DELTONA, FLORIDA https://rarecomicbooks.fashionablewebs.com/Rat%20City.html  #KeyComicBooks #ImageComics #ImageUniverse

[faithful-grigori]

dathen said: “#Legally there’s a difference between self-defense killing and premeditated murder, so I don’t think he’s wrong!”

Legally no there's not, Mr Cairns. And you're saying this with a police inspector in the room.

And in any case, at the end of your statement my opinion remains

[bestiarium]

Am Fear Liath Mór, or the Big Grey Man of Ben MacDhui [Scottish cryptid]

The high passes of Ben MacDhui – the second largest mountain in Scotland – are haunted by tales of a mysterious creature that supposedly stalks hikers. Usually it is described as an impossibly tall, grey spectre, thereby earning it the name ‘Am Fear Liath Mór’, meaning ‘the big grey man’.

The story starts in 1891 with professor Norman Collie of the Royal Geographic Society, who happened to be a passionate hiker as well. The professor had just climbed the cairn on the summit of Ben MacDhui when he heard something that vaguely sounded like footsteps. I should mention that this area is notoriously misty, so you can imagine how easy it is for a lone hiker to get anxious when hearing strange noises.

The footsteps continued, but they were oddly spaced: for every ‘step’ the professor heard, he himself took three or four. It was as if this mysterious spectre was taking giant leaps or had huge legs. Eventually the professor was overtaken by panic and fled. Much later, in 1925, he recounted his tale and shared it with the newspapers, who were eager to publish and often exaggerate the story of a supposed monster or cryptid living in the Scottish mountains. At the time, the mystery creature was dubbed ‘the Ben MacDhui Ghost’ in the media.

Afterwards, multiple people came forward with claims about the mountain ghost, some of which were believable (hearing unidentified sounds) and some were more fantastic (Richard Frere and Peter Densham claimed to have had a conversation with an invisible, psychic creature).

Richard Frere would later claim that while he was hiking on the top of the Ben MacDhui, he had an unshakeable feeling that someone else was there with him, and he would hear a strange high-pitched noise that seemed to come from the soil beneath his feet.

Frere also gave a physical description of a creature he claimed to have seen (but it is difficult to verify whether this is the oldest actual ‘sighting’ of the supposed ghost): a large, brown creature was seen swaggering down the mountainside. It stood about 20 feet (6m) tall, was covered with short brown fur and had a disproportionally large head supported by a thick, muscular neck. It had broad shoulders but walked upright and did not resemble an ape.

Interestingly, only a single sighting happened on a nearby mountain, rather than on the Ben MacDhui itself: in the 1920’s, Tom Crowley, the president of the local Moray Mountaineering Club, claimed to have seen an apparition while descending from Braeriach to the Glen Eanaich. It was a very tall, misty grey figure with a humanoid shape, albeit with long legs that ended in strange talons (described as resembling fingers more than toes) and a head with pointy ears.

Dr. A. M. Kellas, himself a famed mountaineer, also claimed that a giant grey humanoid creature haunted the mountain. Among the many supposed sightings, I am uncertain which one is actually the oldest description of the ‘Grey Man’ as a tall, grey spectre, but it is certainly the most popular one. The grey apparition had cemented itself as a local cryptid and urban legend and many more supposed sightings followed.

Though it is often claimed that the creature is connected to ancient Scottish or Celtic mythology, this is most likely false. Gray Affleck, the author of ‘The Big Grey Man of Ben MacDhui’, attempted to research this link but could not find a single connection with actual Highland mythology.

In 1958, the June edition of ‘Scots Magazine’ told the story of Alexander Tewnion’s 1943 expedition to the mountain. While he was descending the mountain, a giant grey shape suddenly loomed over him. Having none of this bullshit, Mr. Tewnion immediately pulled out his revolver and fired three bullets at the thing. The mysterious apparition seemed not to notice, however, and kept walking towards him, upon which Tewnion fled.

Sources: Barrie, A., 2005, Sutton Companion to the Folklore, Myths and Customs of Britain, The History Press, 480 pp. Gray, A., 2013, The Big Grey Man of Ben MacDhui, Birlinn, 183 pp. (reviewed edition, first edition published in 1970) (image source 1 : Attila Nagy on Artstation) (image source 2: ManthosLappas on Deviantart, ©Fear Liath)

[blairstales]

Am Fear Liath Mor: The Big Grey Man of Ben Macdui | Scottish Folklore

The second highest peak in the British Isles rises up out of the Cairngorms in Scotland, and holds the name of Ben Macdui(or Beinn MacDuibh). Visiting it’s summit is a notoriously dangerous feat; with the sudden changes in weather taking the lives of many hikers throughout history.

There is also a ghostly fairy that has made this peak famous: Am Fear Liath Mòr.

Also known as Big Grey Man, or Ferlas Mor, this resident of Ben Macdui is most frequently reported by people feeling an eerie presence; such as by an icy sensation in the air or a chilling brush against the skin.

[“Ben Macdui and Derry Cairngorm from flanks of Beinn Mheadhoin” by Peter Hudson ]

Those who have sighted Am Fear Liath Mòr often describe him as a giant that stands over ten feet tall, with long arms and broad shoulders.

One of the most famous accounts comes from Professor J. Norman Collie. In 1891, Collie was navigating through thick mist, when he heard the telltale crunching sounds of steps following behind him…but each of those steps spanned a greater distance than his own by three or four times. Much to his growing dread, this continued until he decided to flee.

Collie’s encounter is not unique. Many climbers have reported similar experiences, including one by Dr. Kellas in 1926. He recounted seeing a figure about the same height as the summit cairn. When he asked a local living nearby about it, the old man replied without any surprise, “Oh, aye. That would have been the ferlas mohr he would have been seeing.”

[“Trig Point on summit of Ben MacDhui” by Eric Sim]

In 1943, climber Alexander Tewnion, encountered a shape emerging from the mist. Believing it to be the Big Grey Man, Tewnion fired three shots at the figure in a panic. The mysterious entity, however, remained unperturbed, prompting him to hastily retreat down the mountain.

"A strange shape loomed up, receded, came charging at me! Without hesitation I whipped out the revolver and fired three times at the figure. When it still came on I turned and hared down the path, reaching Glen Derry in a time that I have never bettered. You may ask was it really the Fear Laith Mhor? Frankly, I think it was." Evening Star, Issue 19159, 28 January 1926, Page 2: HAUNTED MOUNTAIN, A TEN-FOOT GHOST, BEN MACDHUI’S “GREY MAN.” (Quoting Alexander Tewnion from the June 1958 issue of The Scots)

One attempted explanation involves an optical illusion called Brocken Spectre. A Brocken Spectre is an optical phenomenon where an observer’s magnified shadow appears surrounded by a halo-like ring of light on a cloud or mist, typically seen from mountain peaks.

Whether one interprets the experiences of those who have encountered him as supernatural or as mere optical and auditory illusions, the stories continue.

There is one final quote from Always a Little Further by Alastar Borthwick (1939) that I want to share. In it, a man was out with a search-party, and decided to ask the local gameskeepers and stalkers what they thought of “Ferlas Mor.”

They looked at him for a few seconds before one finally stated, “We do not talk about that.”

Further Reading:

Newspaper Articles:

MOUNTAIN GHOST IN GRAMPIAN PASS: Star (Christchurch), Issue 17752, 23 January 1926, Page 8

HAUNTED MOUNTAIN, A TEN-FOOT GHOST, BEN MACDHUI’S “GREY MAN.” Evening Star, Issue 19159, 28 January 1926, Page 2

Books:

Encyclopedia of Beasts and Monsters in Myth, Legend and Folklore  by Bane, Theresa (2016)

Scottish folklore by Lamont-Brown, Raymond, (1939)

Always a Little Further by Alastar Borthwick (1939)

A–Z of ghosts and supernatural by Knight, Jan (1980)

Historic Audio Recordings

(link) Track ID: 33273 | Date: 1973 | Title: The Grey Man of Ben Macdui | Language: English

(link) Track ID: 33273 | Date: 1973 | Title: Prògram Choinnich | Language: Gaelic

[scotianostra]

On 28th October 1939, an ignition of firedamp and coal dust caused a devastating explosion in Valleyfield Colliery, killing 35 men.

Many others working deep underground in the early hours of the fateful morning were injured.

It was one of the worst mining tragedies in Fife and came just eight years after 10 men had perished due to carbon monoxide poisoning at Bowhill pit.

News of the explosion brought anxious families from around the west Fife village’s footprint, desperate for news of their loved ones. High and Low Valleyfield bore the brunt but communities from all around were devastated by the scale of the loss. The King and Prime Minister sent messages of condolence and the manager of the colliery and agent of the coal company were later prosecuted and fined.

There were many family connections between the men who lost their lives. Thomas Kerr, of Abbey Crescent, High Valleyfield, was working in the Culross section, and his 27-year-old son, Thomas, was at the coal face where the explosion occurred. The younger man must have been killed instantly, and this news accelerated the death of his father in hospital. “There was no doubt that the shock had this effect,” said a local doctor who arranged for Kerr senior to be sent to hospital. ‘His injuries were only slight, and not sufficient to cause death. He was quite cheerful and smoking his pipe when we took him to hospital. But the news that his son was dead brought about his own death.“

The Dead;

Archibald Anderson, 46, brusher, 44 Abbey Cres, High Valleyfield

David Baillie, 35, brusher, The Ness, Torryburn

Alexander Banks, 65, transport, 6 East Ave, Blairhall (died in hospital)

John Brown, 23, brusher, 8 Bowmont St, Low Valleyfield

David Cairns, 35, brusher, 39 Preston St, High Valleyfield

Thomas Campbell, 56, brusher, Main St, Newmills

Alexander Christie, 61, supervisor, Culross

Thomas Clark, 47, brusher, 34 Abbey Cres, High Valleyfield

William Devlin, 37, machineman, 12 Woodhead St, High Valleyfield

Arthur Doohan, 39, brusher, Burn St, High Valleyfield

Duncan Ewing, 27, brusher, 22 Dundonald Terrace, Low Valleyfield

Aubrey Gauld, 34, brusher, Mid Row, Hill of Beath

Peter Gilliard, 23, brusher, 39 Abbey Cres, High Valleyfield

Edward Glass, 27, transport, 14 Dundonald Ter., Low Valleyfield

David Hogg, 49, packer, Hawthorn Cottage, Carnock

James Irvine, 37, packer, West End, Low Valleyfield

Bert Keegan, 52 brusher, 61 Woodside St, High Valleyfield

Thomas Kerr, 58, 36 Abbey Cres, High Valleyfield (died in hospital)

Thomas Kerr jun, 26, fireman, 36 Abbey Cres, High Valleyfield

Robert Lang, 23, engineer, 6 Preston Cres, High Valleyfield

Alexander Lawrie, 31, brusher, 147 Baldridge Burn, Dunfermline

Edmund Link, 24, transport, Braeside Cottage, Low Valleyfield

James McFadzean, 28, transport, 33 Preston Cres, High Valleyfield

Robert McFarlane, 41, repairer, Main St Newmills

John McIntyre, 22, electrician, 21 Preston Cres, High Valleyfield

Peter Martin, 42, brusher, 5 Abbey Cres, High Valleyfield

Colin Morrison, 51, fireman, 18 Woodhead St, High Valleyfield

Michael Murray, 33, brusher, Burn St, High Valleyfield

Robert Nicholson, 32, brusher, North Rd, Saline

Alexander Paterson, 32, brusher, 19 Abbey Cres, High Valleyfield

William Ramage, 52, brusher, Blairwood Ter, Oakley

James Spowart jun, 29, machineman, Tinian Cres, Newmills

Michael Tinney, 35, transport, 3 Woodhead St, High Valleyfield

Henry Toal, 29, machineman, 26 Preston Cres, High Valleyfield

Robert Wright, 48, brusher, 1 Dunmarle St, High Valleyfield.

More info and news reports on the Scottish mining web site here http://www.scottishmining.co.uk/33.html

[seasoflife]

Scottish Wild Cat

Peter Cairns

seasoflife

[dogpapersnippets]

Peter, cairn terrier, start of Elizabeth Anderson's Down East kennel in Maine. Published 1933

[comicweek]

Rat City #1

ERIES PREMIERE The EXTRA-LENGTH first issue of RAT CITY has finally arrived and features the talents of ERICA SCHULTZ (THE DEADLIEST BOUQUET, Moon Knight: Black, White, and Blood) and ZÉ CARLOS (Captain America, Strange Academy: Moon Knight). Peter Cairn is an ex-soldier, an amputee, and a Hellspawn in a post-war future. But Peter’s not dead like Al. Peter got his Spawn powers from the nanites in his prosthetic legs—nanites that were affected when Al Simmons initiated his necroplasmic detonation in the present. Al had no clue that the effects would ripple across not just space, and but time as well.

SCRIPT / PLOT - Erica Schultz

ART -Ze Carlos

COLOR (PAGES 1-20) - Jay David Ramos

COLOR (PAGES 21-24) - Fco Plascencia

COLOR (PAGES 25-32) - Marcello Iozzoli

LETTERING -Erica Schultz

[himluv]

DA Review Series: Redemption

<<< Previous Review: Hard in Hightown

Aaaaaaaand I'm back, this time with a piece of DA media I'd never seen before!

Title: Redemption Director: Peter Winther Year Released: 2011 In-World Year: ~9:34 Dragon Verdict: Surprisingly not as bad as I'd expected. The Qunari look TERRIBLE, but the story was a fun little romp with one potentially very important MacGuffin: The Mask of Fen'Harel.

Dragon Age: Redemption introduces us to Tallis, a Qunari elf assassin operating in and around Kirkwall during Dragon Age II. Most players likely met Tallis during the Mark of the Assassin DLC, but Redemption is *technically* her first appearance.

In order to reclaim her role within the Ben-Hasraath, Tallis must hunt down a Tal'Vashoth Saarebas that was captured by the Chantry. This is around the height of the Qunari invasion of Kirkwall and tensions are high between the Chantry and all Qunari.

So of course, along the way Tallis meets a Templar who is also hunting Saarebas. A Dalish mage and a Nevarran Reaver mercenary round out the party, as they search for Saarebas and the elvhen artifact he stole: The Golden Mask of Fen'Harel.

Turns out, that mask can tear open the Veil when brought to its altar and supplied with enough Elvhen blood. Why this artifact exists and what it's original purpose was is never addressed, sadly. But, that it exists, is tied to Fen'Harel and the Veil makes me wonder just how far back in development Bioware writers knew about Fen'Harel and his plans...

I have so. many. questions.

Anyway, through this story both Tallis and the Templar question their loyalties to their respective religions, and even begin to submit to their feelings for one another. But, this is Dragon Age, and so few heroes get happy endings.

The Templar, Cairn, dies saving Tallis (which was a bit overdramatic if you ask me). Even the Dalish mage's fiancee betrays him and he accidentally kills her in a scuffle over a dagger. The only person who seems to leave this story unscathed is the Nevarran mercenary, Nyree. Which thank the Creators! She was my favorite by FAR!

Basically, this isn't a good mini-series. It's cringey and very low budget. But it has some surprisingly bright moments. Doug Jones as Saarebas! Nyree! The Mask of Fen'Harel! And did I mention Nyree??? Even Felicia Day, who I'm usually lukewarm about, was pretty good in this.

If you've got 50 minutes free and want to watch some old school Dragon Age camp, why not fire up Dragon Age: Redemption?

[holmesillustrations]

Vote for your favourite, the top 9 will proceed in the bracket. Since theyre all different shapes and sizes, make sure to click into the full views!

Paget Eliminations // Other Artist Eliminations

Full captions and details for each illustration below the cut:

All Sidney Paget illustrations are for the Strand Jul 1891 - Dec 1904

"A Drunken Looking Groom" Scandal in Bohemia Characters: Holmes

"He had stood behind that tree." Boscombe ValleyCharacters: James and Mr McCarthy, John Turner

"Which of you is Holmes?" Speckled Band Characters: Dr Roylott, Holmes, Watson

"I clapped a pistol to his head." Beryl Coronet Characters: Sir George Burnwell, Holmes

"Trust me, Jack!" she cried." Yellow Face Characters: Grant and Effie Munro

"There was no powder-blackening on the clothes." Reigate Squires Characters: William Kirwan, Holmes, Insp Forrester

"I've heard of your methods before now, Mr. Holmes." Naval Treaty Characters: Watson, Holmes, Insp Forbes

"Holding it only an inch or two from his eyes." Hound of the Baskervilles Characters: Holmes

"There he sat upon a stone." Hound of the Baskervilles Characters: Holmes, Watson

"Holmes smiled and clapped Lestrade upon the shoulder." Norwood Builder Characters: Lestrade, Holmes, Watson

"Shall I sign here?" he asked." Black Peter Characters: Patrick Cairns, Holmes, Hopkins, Watson

"Why, Mr. Holmes, I thought you knew things," said he."Missing Three-Quarter Characters: Holmes, Watson, Cyril Overton

[partisan-by-default]

News Corp Australia is producing 3,000 articles a week using generative artificial intelligence, executive chair Michael Miller has revealed.

Miller told the World News Media Congress in Taipei that a team of four staff use the technology to generate thousands of local stories each week on weather, fuel prices and traffic conditions, according to a report in Mediaweek.

The unit, Data Local, is led by News Corp’s data journalism editor Peter Judd and many of the stories carry his byline.

The unit supplements the copy written by reporters for the companies’ 75 “hyperlocal” mastheads across the country including in Penrith, Lismore, Fairfield, Bundaberg and Cairns.

Stories such as “Where to find the cheapest fuel in Penrith” are created using AI but overseen by journalists, according to a spokesperson from News Corp. There is no disclosure on the page that the reports are compiled using AI.

[coolasakuhncumber]

2023 in review

This has been harder than expected to pull together. I know social media is the 'glossy' version of everyone's life but in the last couple of days of the year, in the seeing of people posting about buying houses and getting married and having babies, I feel lost. I feel a great sense of emptiness. A year ago I had a sense of what 2023 would look like and what my future beyond that may be and now I don't. I feel like I'm just holding space. I need more novelty and difference in my life to separate the days from blurring into each other.

Work I started a new job I was excited about. I learnt pretty quickly that implementation is maybe not quite where I want to be, I'd rather be doing the strategic influencing work. Big reform work. I suspected this already, but it was good to have it confirmed. I liked the work travel though. The going to Brisbane and Cairns and Sydney and getting out of the national office, getting a bit more perspective.

I moved to the role to follow a senior manager and that senior manager left 5 months into me being there. Two weeks later I was approached to go back to my previous work area and they committed to meeting the requests I had. I worked two jobs for a month and a half and that was HARD. Do not recommend. It's good to be back in this policy area (for the third time!!!) and working with the manager I have. I've had some really great opportunities to step up take the lead and have senior people see what I've done. The Melbourne trip was a highlight, despite the associated difficulties.

I managed a couple of underperformers this year and was forced to grow as a manager to address the issues. I learnt that the attitude of my staff really matters, and it's ok to have the expectations I have and that I'm actually a pretty good and empathetic manager. I dealt with a situation that looked like underperformance and had a strong element of fraud to it. What a time. Not.

I showed signs of burnout for a large portion of the year. It's not ok.

Travel I meant to do Perth -> Broome this year but it fell apart and I instead spent a week in Perth, a few days in Canberra with my friend who was recovering from knee surgery, a long weekend down the south coast, a few days in Cairns, and a few days in Sydney for my step-brother's wedding. It was all good, though if I were to do it again, I'd spend less time in transit and more time in one place.

Referendum Australia had its first Referendum this century, calling for an Indigenous Voice to Parliament to be enshrined in the constitution. It failed and I am still smad about it. I don't know yet how to not be angry about the misinformation and disinformation that was spread through the 'No' campaign. I truly believe Peter Dutton and other significant figures of the no campaign have blood on their hands.

I started getting undercuts as a dopamine hit to lift me out of my feelings.

Health I'm pretty damn sick hey. I need heart surgery but my lungs are too bad to allow it so we're just hanging out deteriorating. Some days are just really tough. But I did start a new medication that has helped me breathe just a little bit better and we're all holding out hope I'll continue to improve. I'm going to do what I can to improve my lungs and yeah, I might not live to be 80, 70, 60, 50, 40, but God has a plan for me and I can rest easy in that knowledge.

Relationships The thing that has probably changed the most in the last year is that Duc and I are no longer together. We haven't been since late Jan. We had talked about getting engaged in 2023, getting married not too long after. I was thinking of buying an investment property with the thought that he could live in it for a bit, then it would become a shared asset when we were committed for life.

Instead, we're no longer together. We haven't been together for a while. It's absolutely the right thing for us to not be together but man did I get used to regular companionship the almost 4 years we were a thing.

Dating sucks. Trying to date as a woman in your early 30s with a visible disability really sucks. My friends and family are fantastic and fill so many of my social and emotional needs that I'm feeling a strong sense of why bother? The desire for domesticity with one I love is why.

Jay

I love Jay. I think I have loved him for years and I let myself love him this year. I know we're not end game. I will need to let go at some point but I remain not yet ready to.

Whiskey Club

This remains one of my favourite friendship things. It's Paul and I. We eat fried chicken, drink whiskey, and talk about our feelings. It's the best. It's a form of therapy, though I sometimes suspect a professional would be good.

Disability

I have become more 'disabled' over the last couple of years and it really became more pronounced over the last 12 months. I feel limited in my life in many ways. I can't travel internationally at the moment, pending how things go I might not be able to again.

Some days I just can't breathe. When things were bad there were weeks of impromptu crying because this body sucks. Sometimes it feels like things can only go downhill from here. I don't like that. I resent it, even.

This year I became the Co-chair of my workplace's Disability Network and I've been taking action to improve policy and procedures for staff living with disability. I've been on panels, talking about some of my experiences. But I'm not 'disability proud'. If I could not have this particular set of challenges based on genetic markers, I would choose that every single time.

There's probably more work I need to do on myself here.

Some good

I did say 2023 would be the year of natural fibres and I did predominantly wear less polyester and more linen. I bought a few more dresses and I do really love the collection I have now.

2024

This year I want to continue growing. My housemate is looking to purchase property and move out with their partner and I really don't know how I'll go living alone.

I'd like to maybe go on a nice date or two? Maybe?

I want to be stronger with my boundaries.

My Mum is going to start working with me and that's equal parts exciting and worrying. I want it to work and not impact the good dynamic we have in a negative way.

Bring it on hey.