#Personal sheeet

[lewisandneil]

It's heartbreaking seeing Geoff on all my TV channels, in the sanctuary, making eye contact with the fans and thanking them for being there, that man gosh he is so strong, I can't even fathom the pain he is going through, and having all these fucking cameras and microphones thrown at you, asking bout your sons death. And I'm so grateful Paul is here with him. The man who protected his child for so many years. This is all so painful.

[elenthyaolyenths]

One last [WIP+ sneak-peek], plus a personal joke. Just, because.

Ooooh it is hot here, isn't it. Be prepared, it is just the beginning.

Well well well. So, yesterday, I started to draw the sexiest - smuttiest artwork I have ever done in my entire life. There was blood tears and sweat and other powerful fluids implied - coffee, more of it (OÏÏÏÏ dear, what were you imagining?!)

Well, this morning, I woke up and found this on Reddit.

Coincidence? I think not. Time to rise, dear friends. Time to rise.

Have a good day, my dear Good Omens Fam.

<3 <3 <3

hoawly sheeet when did I draw that- Oo

@goodomensafterdark hi! I am tagging you one last time because nothing would have been possible if you didn't help me on Reddit. Thank you so much. See you on the battlefield!

(Edit: Hey, wanna see the final result? It's here!)

[desperatecheesecubes]

Ok but if I went with the snippets option when would everything take place

Bart (? Include???) post Ou Worlds At War/Jokers Last Laugh

Kenan: current comic canon since they’d have like…. None opportunity to hang out previously

Pa kent: well pre Kon’s death since he kicked it before Kon came back

Chris: GREAT QUESTION! Probably the lane of make believe cannon because Kon was dead when Chris got adopted and also sucked back to the phantom zone, and while they’re both around for New Krypton I’m pretty sure I haven’t read it and also was this when Chris was aged up and Nightwing???? IRREGARDLESS I clearly don’t know enough about the time to write it so if he gets included he’s gonna be a kid and we’re gonna pretend 😌

Jon: sheeet dawg. Also probably the land of make believe because I just really don’t vibe with his aged up characterization??? Like all the fun was sucked out of this boy by Tom Taylor (and I mean also BMB but he’s been in TT’s hands more so I’m blaming him lol) Also older siblings hanging out/looking after their kid siblings is such a delight to me [fond memories of being the youngest child are evident here lmfao] So kid!Jon would be more fun for me personally to write. Although their current dynamic could also be fun to explore

[alexanicholsauthor]

Inflation made me eat my panties…

Believe it or not, this is not a clickbait post. 😭 First of all, everyone knows how ridiculous inflation has become lately. I know I do: our rent has been raised by $300 these past few months, and every time we shop for groceries, it baffles me how little we can get. And don’t even get me started on restaurants and fast food, especially with fees, tipping culture going absolutely insane, and the prices for everything going up so high it feels like going to McDonald’s is fine dining. I mean, seriously, when is the breaking point? There has to be one; this can’t go on forever. What goes up must come down, right?

Right?

Anyway, you’re probably wondering what all of this has to do with eating my panties.

Well, my big brother wanted to treat my baby squirrel and me to some delivery from Burger Island through his Grubhub+, something I immediately swatted down because of how expensive I knew it would be. I mean, Burger Island isn’t one of the cheapest places around (though their humongous burgers are legendary), and delivery services nowadays are straight-up ridiculous. He was hellbent on doing it anyway, however, and unfortunately, he’s the one person I can’t out stubborn.

So I decided to try and teach my beloved big brother a lesson.

After some quick mental math, I bet him the total end amount would be almost $100 with fees, delivery, tip, and who knows what else. He said there was no way it would be that high. I reminded him that he was buying for three people – he rolled his eyes and told me to shut up. So after viciously spider-monkeying him, we made the bet: if it was closer to my bet of $100, I won, and my prize would be cheese fries at Snuffers. If it was closer to his guess of $60, I would have to do anything he requested.

He accepted my terms.

He placed the order.

The tally came to $65.

Which meant that he not only won but he slaughtered my ass.

So I waited for him to come up with my punishment. Instead, he told me he’d come up with something and let me know and to not worry about it. Most people would think the other person would simply drop the whole thing and move on, but I know my brother: he ain’t dropping sheeet.

Fast forward a few days. I thought he somehow forgot about it because he hadn’t even hinted at my punishment. He just acted normal (well, for him, anyways), and eventually, I completely forgot about it as my writing and Patreon / Subscribestar.adult projects began to take over most of my attention.

Until my baby squirrel snitched on me.

See, I bought some edible panties for… research… and she told my brother for some reason, and to make a long story short, he decided to make my punishment to eat the entire pair. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever eaten edible panties, but those motherfuckers taste nasty. They’re also expensive, at about $16 a pair. 😭

The lessons I learned from this?

Never bet my big brother any goddamn thing.

Squirrels be snitching, yo.

From now on, buy edible panties that taste good. 😂

[automationsfascinations]

itthe keybaoard has been set to type very quickly and easilytt. in fasctg i can close my etes and do this. ityysd bvery  easyu and i can feel into it. and thenm i can do what i want in this safe space. so i have bbeen listening to myhself and i dont know whaty to say rteally.  laibvbe been undfer a lot odf stress and a idont wnat to be that person. i remember i used to wakr upo every single day and i would fwrite down my desitres. i could do that again. i dont remebmer mayube it would just be on a sheeet of paper or something. what a iweird but effective behgaviour. it was always tits and baig dick.k athatsa what was on myu mind. and i manifested lots of that. lots of big dick, and muscle. ]y8eadjhdddddddddd i can t forgewtet about thatg. aits resally really inmmnpoportnat. aits is kind of odd dhow ssssssssssssensitive theis keyboard is and theres no feedbnaack on the keys.  

okay lets set it her  at trhis leve. there is no click of courtse. not like the blue switches wit he he real sclick. this just feels kina misndsless now.

i amn getting used to letting go again. fthat gffeeling of leetting fo completely. 

and thnen i can dro[  into that zone where i let go and let it happen as i pittui this out iun to the worle. not letting the content be seen or read byh anyone, and i begin  to winder if i cam doing this on puupose like trhat. it really doers make mne wonder sometiems . ytou konw i could go tro bed liek this.

well kesj jessixa. i am fducking in love with you. and i think yaoure in love with me too. how could you not? oi mean no one else had session with you like that i bet.  

shouild i tyell you what happened with barbie?  i dunno. maybe i should tgell you so that you know the truth and dont ever bring it up with her. it wcould be awkwatyterd, or matybe baarbie has forgotten about it alreadyt. d

what i feellt for barbie awas absoluely nothing compared to what i feel for jesssica. my sweet girl. ive got to do something about it mnan. i cant just absolutelyt fucking sir ghere and let myuself go badf.  then i hjust have trhose thouhfgtgts about how she already has a child. its fuckjing depressing. shes a dream womnan. lie one hgundred perdcent a fucking dream. the girtl is fso fuckingf big, mnan. shes motherfucking hufge. she is sooooo fucking NBNIGugghhhh  god damn it i wishs she understooofdd. iim in love man. im so fucking in love. its crazy how much i am in love with her., .its like i dontr care if she has a child. i willl neeed to see her anywaty.

[elaineweidesign]

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[genshinimpactlife]

My god I spent 135 euros for the raiden banner, it's not like I am broke but holy fuck.

I only spent my money for food, house necessities, bus ticket and study stuff, I don't do shopping but holy sheeet

I totally understand; I spent about the same amount on Ittos first run when I lost the 50/50 My personal views are, as long as you are not in debt and can support yourself, who gives a shit what you spend your money on. Spend 135 euros on Raiden as long as it makes you happy to get her <3

[lewisandneil]

Well hellou, idek if anybody remembers me cause it's been years since I last reblogged something BUT it's still and forever will be my 1D safe place, soo IM SEEING LOUIS TOMORROW FINALLY after not being able to see him in 2022 I'M SO HAPPY AND EXCITED 😭😭😭😭 like seeing him perform solo in a stadium (the same one I watched 1D perform 10 years ago!!!!) the feelz are so real, and I'm so so proud, prob gonna cry tmr lbr. So yeah hope everyone is happy and living your best live! I always remember you all 💜

[recanted]

Chapter 1/365

I feel a creative energy awakening in me and I’m holding myself accountable for every goal I want to achieve this year. I want to be a glass house

[absolutebl]

Hello,

I follow your posts for a while now. They really making my day! Want to thank you for that first.

So I just wanted to add some thoughts to the subbing discussion here. Thanks to you I just started another Love by Change re-watch. As you mentioned in another post the Youtube and Viki subs in Englisch are quite good here. (For YT JayBL‘s english subs are just amazing just adoring the subber until now.)

But I just realised again how great the german ones are! The subbing group not only explained the usage of P‘, khrab and sawadee . They also managed to convey the more informal/partly rude way of talking by Ae and the more formal way by Pete. That‘s so astonishing! That‘s also why LBC is one of the rare cases of BL I watch with german subs. (Well besides there aren‘t so many BL‘s with Ger sub for now. But Viki is on it.)

Actually the ger and eng LBC subs on YT inspired me to provide ger subs myself for Gameboys and partly UWMA. It wasn‘t an easy task, but so fulfilling. It made me quite sensible for subs now. The ones on Netflix for example are my personal nightmare. It seems to me the translators there are generalising a lot.

I was thinking, if with the existence of fan-made subs, so people who care to explain linguistics (like honorific’s, idioms, pronouns, etc.) in that specific cultural background and even keep them in the translation, a new group of bl consumers are growing up now, accepting the mixture of language or even create in the bl-fandom bubble a new transnational language? (Sorry the german in me got the better part of me here on sentence length‘s…)

OMG thank you for this. That is so cool to know about the German subs!!!

BL: Subs, Captions, Niche Fandom Languages, Jargon, Linguistics, Epistemology, Global Shared passions and so forth.... 

well sheeet, that title almost turned into a JSTOR article title.. 

a new group of bl consumers are growing up now, accepting the mixture of language or even create in the bl-fandom bubble a new transnational language

I love this! And yes it does feel like it’s happening. 

I makes me think about adoption of the term tsundere into the lexicon around anime in the 80s and 90s and now geeky fandom, or kishotenketsu among the literary sets. 

There’s a lot of niche fandoms that adopt terms, and those terms become global lexicon. 

It happens in academia and in concentrated work environments as well. You get to the point of specialization where you can have whole conversations with someone, using entirely technical terminology (think about programming languages, for example) as a lingo localized to a subject matter (rather than region). I’ve had these conversations with colleagues who don’t speak English. Like the verbs are different, but the terms are global. This can happen at conference or a convention or amongst staff on a movie set, or in a post production room. The way sound tech people talk to each other is like... whoah, what did you just say?!? 

I can get this way around BL tropes where I just throw a term out there (like pratfall kiss, or there’s only one bed) and I just assume everyone here knows what the hell I’m talking about. 

I’m sure the linguists have a technical term for this kind of language, like a combination of auxlang + jargon, but I don’t know it. 

It makes me think a lot about the IRL evolution of Wittgenstein's private language, and how his (argued) innate unintelligible nature is counteracted by the moment of adoption into a small group. But that an outsider unfamiliar with the source subject matter would still hear it as primarily gobbledygook. (One of my minors is in epistemology.) 

I think an even bigger version of the specific aspect you’re zeroing in on, is already happening around Korean via Hallyu (especially Kpop & Kdramas). And not just phrases like “stan” and “bias” and “bias wrecker” or sasaeng, hyung, and maknae, but whole linguistic concepts that run adjacent to these ideas around social structure and fandom.  

I'm finding, just in normal every day conversation with native English speakers (yes, this is the kind of thing I talk about regularly in my workspace) that I have to explain what a "linguistic register" means less and less these days, particularly to those younger than me. 

It's kinda awesome. 

I suspect Hallyu is partly behind this, but also the general nature of growing up with globalization and the internet age. (Not to mention my own propensity to gravitate towards geeky types who are fans of more niche aspects of a greater fandom, and thus are, by their nature, increasingly global in an effort to connect with those few others who share their obsession.)  

Here’s an example of a jargon rich sentence:

I don’t really stan a tsundere uke who's the maknae of the found family group, I like it when they flip the power play of the age dynamics or make him more of a sunshine cinnamon roll, although I forgive everything for Taiwanese chemistry and an “only one bed” trope. 

Now you can tell me whether you understood it or if I cross hatched too many of my fandom jargons at once. 

On a completely different note:

Here's a really interesting podcast ep from 99% Invisible on captions and captioning.

(source) 

[beauty-and-passion]

Me:*sees the 5th anniversary special and sees the ORANGE* THOMAS SANDERS!!! YOU!

Spent time and effort writing theories -> I am mostly known for the ones about Orange XD

Not that I'm complaining! On the contrary, I am very happy to know I was your first thought when you saw that orange. I also felt personally attacked by the hilariousness of the situation and by Thomas’ team being the biggest fothermuckers (thanks Virgil for the new censor word) of the neighbourhood.

I knew they were going to hint Orange, in some way. I mean, fifth anniversary, all Sides involved and not even a tiny little mention of Orange (aside from that tiny little spoiler-not spoiler from Remus)? Naah, Thomas & crew surely have planned something.

And when I saw that orange, I was this close to losing it, take the first flight to Florida, find Mr. Sanders and both shake his hand, while punching him because my gosh, Sanders, what a little sheeet you are ;)

[macjaket]

So, just binged kipo season 3. Here’s my favourite moments/phrases.

If us don’t want KIPO SEASON 3 SPOILER pls dont read.

( @that-spider-fan-over-there hey, so i couldnt tell u some of these cuz i didnt want to spoil it. But now that you’ve seen it here they are)

Jammack singing

“HMUFA” -just the way they try to say it

“If this isnt happening, i have a date with troy”-benson/troy is cannon?

“Youre in our house, so here are our rules. TEHRE ARE NO RULES”

The way kipo got super exited by seeing the “mute kids” playing together -my heart melted

“Yumyam babysita you all” -i love this cat

K-pop narwhals

The girl dancing to the “wall siren”

Friendship alliance song between cats and snakes

“Anyone that would cage a musical dolphin unicorn cant be a good person”

“And she killed my best friend......... stalky”

“Ok, i respect your boundaries but im here if you need me to trample her”

I love wolf’s new weapon

“Did she stab u in the back while we sneezed?”

Scarlemagne being cute with the little kids, scarlemagne being cute with the little kids, scarLEMAGNE BEING CUTE WITH THE LITTLE KIDS

Song (mega mokey) and scarlemagne playing charades

“Almost forgot my hat” -i love muholond (or however u say it)

Yumyam nooooooooooooooooooooooo -excuse me for a moment im gonna go cry for a few hours-

Song’s back -oh gods oh gods, i cant take it. This show is makimg me feel too many emotions

“Wolf come here, family hug” -happy screeches cuz she sees her as more than a friend, but family

“What would scare the humans” “diversity”-i died laughing”

Benson steps on a bug - the whole scene had me dying of laughter

Dancing mega jaguar

Song “dubstepping”

Jammack getting exited to make traps

“You dont scare me ball” -gets taken out by a ball

Greta breaking open literally anithing -holy sheeet she is so strong

One of the two main wolves taking the hit for the other one -noooooo

Zane saving label

The ending of ep 6- what is happening?!?

Angry mega jaguar kipo just being inmune and scaring the living sheesh out of everyone

Dave’s story

When dave’s story becomes how he and benson met

“Who throws a party in the middle of a war” literally everyone :”kipo”

“Right cuz im on the side of the mutes now” -zane is an absolute himbo

“They all left” scarlemagne:” not everyone”- me starting to chant “redemption arc, redemption arc, redemption arc”

“ i live here, you guys should go”

The treasure squirrels - do i need to say more?

Wolf and scarlemagne bonding and realizing they both see kipo as a sister

“Prahm posal” song

Benson’s prahm posal -its so cute im gonna die

Benson and Troy kiss - OH MY GODS its happening, its oficial its cannon i can die in peace now

I am not justifying emilia’s actions, but her dad was an asshole

Kipo’s prahm dress was amazing

Me :” ilove liam i hope nothing bad happens to him” the show :” were gonna have emilia kill him to fuel the hate of mutes in her backstory” me: -insert surprised picachu meme-

Zane and Label the gym bros- and so the bromance begins

Wolf: being thrown all over the place. Scarlemagne -doing exercise-: “im helping”

“You’re gonna take us to Emilia, or else...... or else no pancakes”

Doug is amazing

Kipo when she sees Benson and Troy “my heart is about to explode” -me too kipo, me too

-heores on fire starts playing” HO MY GODS , heroes on fire, I MIGTH DIE WITH THIS

Wolf without the wolf cape

Emilia in her dress for prahm -oh DAYUMMMMM, i still hate her but she looks gorgeous

Wolf covering mandu from the cure

“This could be a new age, an age of wonderbeasts” -wink wink, i see what u did there

Emilia injecting herself with the mega walrus serum- HOLY GUACAMOLEEE

“Oh nonononono you’re the scariest of the kids”

Jammack riding in with a mega mute army

“Wait, i helped?!?” -yes Greta you can help you big dumb strong sweet lady

“I am glad we were able to be a family, one more time” -no Hugo, plz, dont do this to us. I know i wanted a redemption arc, but pls dont sacrifice yourself

“No one deserves to have their mind taken away from them, not even you” -kipo is too good for this world

Mandu saving kipo from Emilia

The orange moss thingy taking away Emilia

Hugo’s final moment - he didnt go out as Scarlemangne, he went out as Hugo, with his family. This show is having me crying all over the place

The “five years later” - showing that things actually ended up good and in peace

Older kipo - i mean, everyone looked amazing five years later, but i just love Kipo’s “older” character design so much

[yashiisthoughts]

one shot story

*Yawwwwwnnn* “Hayss, waaah grabe, inaantok pa ako.”

“Matulog ka kasi ng maaga, jhane pupuyat ka wla ka namang jowa! Haha!” pang aasar ni rean .

Ako nga pala si Princess Jhane Madrigal, 18yrs old 4th year college student. At yung nang-aasar saken ? Walang iba kung di ang nakapa mapang-asar kong bestfriend. Rean Vargas sya na ang bestfriend ko since elementary wala na atang makakapag hiwalay samin ng bff ko.

“Maaga naman akong natulog eh.. saka, anung walang jowa meron kaya! Si Dylan” sagot ko sa kanya.

“nako, eto nanaman tayo sa dylan,dylan nayan. Ni hndi mopa nga nakikita ung tao eh. Mamaya mapahamak kapa sa taong yan.”  sermon nya sakin.

Si Dylan? Nakilala ko sya noong mga panahong sobrang down ako dahil sa panloloko sakin ng ex ko. Ipinalit nya ako kay Dianne, yung sikat na Pokpok ..De joke lang .. pero totoo sikat sya sa Campus namin. Nakilala ko sya sa isang apps at oo aaminin ko sa loob ng 3 months naming pag-uusap sa phone nainlove na ako sa kanya kahit di pa kami nag kikita. Maharot x marupok ang lola mo teh. Kaya nung nanligaw sya saken ay sinagot ko agad sya. Txt at tawag lang yung communication namin. Hinanap ko rin sya sa facebook pero hndi ko sya makita.

“Hindi ah! Sure akong mabait syang tao, sabi nya. Mag kikita na daw kami” naka ngiti kong sagot.

“At pano ka nmn nakaka sigurong sya nga yun aber?” taas kilay nyan sabi sakin.

“Bumili kami online ng couple sweater,saka ginawan ko sya ng handmade srunches, hihi” sabay ngiti ko.

“luh? Korni mo teh! Haha pero bet ko yarn ah? Anu naman binigay nya sayo?” ngisi nito.

“Yung isang sweater  saka, eto” sabay pakita ng singsing na kinuwintas ko. “sabi nya gawin ko muna

daw kwintas, pag nag kita kami sya daw mismo mag-susuot sakin,” naka ngiti kong tugon.

“ay sus! Ang ngiti ng bruha oh! Ang pisngi mo mapunit, Tara na nga late na tayo!” sabay hila nya sakin.

“-sungit.. meron kaba ngayun? Hmp” bulong ko.. at pinan silatan nya ako ng mata na ikinatawa ko .

--

“OMG! Nabalitaan nyo naba ? May 5 bagong transferee sa school!”

sigaw ng isang studyante sa di kalayuan.

“Oo! Kyaaaaah! Grabe, ang grapo nila!! galing daw sila sa all boy school.”

“Ang sabi, may hinahanap daw sila, omg! baka ako na yun!” tili naman ni dianne. Ang sikat sa campus namin.

“Tingnan mo yang si Dianne, ang harot talaga, may bagong transferee lang eh. Kumakarengkeng agad. Teka sila pa ba ni Natan?” Mapanuring tanong ni rean.

Oo nga noh? Ilang araw ko naring hindi sila nakikitang magkasama.

“Baka wa-”

Mag sasalita palang ako ng lumingon yung grupo ni dianne samin. Tinaasan nya ako ng kilay at bumulong.

“FREAK”

kahit bulong lang yung alam kong yun yung sinabi nya base narin sa galaw ng bibig nya..

Sarap sungalngalin yung bibig nya.

Napayuko nalang ako.

“Wooh! Kelan kaya nanging Zoo itong Campus, ang dami kasing nag kalat na ahas eh!” sigaw ni Rean.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY!?”

Hindi na ako nakapag react ng bigla akong hinila ni rean para tumakbo. Nag tawanan kami ng makatakas kami sa grupo ni dianne. Laugh trip kami sa pamumula ng mukha nya hahha para syang kamatis.

“paunahan sa room! Haha ang ma hule man lilibre!!” sabay karipas ng takbo.. aba loko yun ah! Hndi pa nga ready tumakbo agad. Hinayaan ko nalang syang mauna sa room, ganun din naman eh ako parin mang lilibre sa kanya. Buraot tlga.

“huy nakita ko yung bagong tranferee! Sheeet! Ang gwapo!! sana maging kaklase natin!” dinig kong hiyaw ng isang studyante sa nadaanan kong room.

Hmmm.. bagong transferee.... nasa malalim akong pag iisip ng makasalubong ko si Natan, yung EX ko.

“jhane, pwede kabang maka- usap?”

“B-bakit?”

“Hndi na ako mag papaligoy. Gusto kong humungi  ng sorry sa ginawa ko. Pwede bang ibalik natin yung dati?” Seryoso nyang sambit sakin.

“Haha, nag papatawa kaba? Tingin mo Ganun lang yun? Oo mapapatawad kita, pero yung satin? Matagal nang wala”  nilagpasan ko nalang sya at nag lakad na papuntang room. Nakakailang hakbang palang ako ng bigla ulit syang mag saiita.

“Bakit? May nag papasaya naba sayo? O may naka una na sayo?” pang iinsulto neto.

Humarap ako sa kanya “ Oo may nag papasaya na sakin.  At ano namn kung may naka una na sakin? Atleas hindi sya gaya mo.”

“At pano ka naman nakaka siguro? “ ngisi nito sakin.

Natigilan ako sa sinabi nya. Pano nga ba ako nakaka siguro? Hndi ko nalang sya sinagot at tinalikuran sya .

Panu nga ba ako nakakasiguro??

_

“Good morning class. So today may bago tayong makakasama.” bungad samin ni prof. “Pasok kana.”

Busy ako sa pag kalikot ng gamit ko ng mapako yung tingin ko dun sa bagong dumating, Parang nag slow mo ang lahat. May kahabaan yung buhok nya, pero bagay sa kanya. Yung labi nya.. ewan ko pero parang ang lambot sa paningin ko. Tapos yung mga mata nya, parang may  gustong ipa hiwatig. sheeeeet nka tingin sya skin!

*dug-dug* biglang bumilis yung tibok ng puso ko.. bakit? bakit diko maalis yung mga tingin ko sa kanya?

“Hi! I'm Daniel Lance Curbano. Im looking for my princess” sabay tingin saken.

*Dug-dug* wait bakit sya naka tingin sken ? *Dug-dug**Dug-dug*

“ssuge maupo kana sa likod” sabi ng prof nmin.

*stare* *death glare* *stare* napatingin ako sa mga kaklase kong babae, lahat sila masama kung tumingin. Humarap naman si rean sakin na nasa unahan ko.

“swerte mo girl. Katabi mo yung bago, hihi”

napalingon namn ako sa katabi ko. Tumingin sakin yung Bago at ngumiti, pucha para akong matutunaw sa titignya. Nag bawi ako ako ng tingin sa kanya at yumuko nalang tae nakaka hiya

–

Lumipas yung mga araw, naging busy ang lahat sa  nalalapit ng school festival.Napatingi nako sa phone ko, ilang araw naring walang paramdam si dylan. Si Natan panay ang pangungulit na bumalik ako sa kanya. Si Dianne, ayun buntot ng buntot kay daniel parang aso. Ewan ko sila kaya ?  

“yes lunch time! Tara na jhane mawalan pa tayo ng pwesto!” sigaw ni rean.

“eto na eto na, atat na atat teh ?” tumawa lng sya, habang inaantay akong maligpit yung mga gamit ko.

*je 't aime * *DUG-DUG * napalingon ako sa katabi ko, si Daniel. Yung mga mata nya .. parang hinihigop ako. * DUG ~ DUG~ DUG* lalong bumilis yung tibok ng puso ko nung ngumiti sya sakin.

“PRINCESS JHANE MADRIGAL! Wag kana kumain tumunganga ka nalang dyan!” sigaw ni rean sa may pintuan. Binawi ko agad yung tingin ko sa katabi ko at nag madaling lumabas kasama si rean.

–

Natapos ang buong araw sa school na nakaka-ilang. Panu ba naman si Daniel, naka titig sakin hanggang uwian. Hndi ako maka pag concentrate sa kanya!

“Jhane! Mauuna nako ha? May practice pa kasi kami sa cheering eh, alam mona bukas na yung festival. Ingat ka pag uwi ha? *Sabay halik nito sa pisngi ko* byebye” paalam sakin ni rean.

Nag lalakad nako pa labas ng campus nag mag ring yung phone ko. Si DYLAN! Nag madali agad akong sagutin yung tawag nya.

“Princess”

biglang bumilis yung tibok ng puso ko.

“Prince! Bat ngayun ka lang? Ilang araw kang di nag paramdam ah.” malungkot kong tugon sa kanya.

“Pasensya na Princess, Busy lang tlga ako nitong nakaraan.” hinging paumanhin nya.

“Ganun ba..?” bulong ko.

“Sorry Princess, wag ka mag alala bukas may supresa ako sayo. Sige pincess mauna na nako ahh.

'Je 't aime'” -End call

natulala ako sa huling sinabi nya hndi ko alam kung anung irere-act ko, yung puso ko ang bilis ng tibok.

Hindi kaya.... hindi imposible..

--

Araw ng School Festival, alas singko na ng hapon, mag-isa akong nag iikot sa campus, tapos na yung shift ko bilang isang maid sa coffee shop namin sa room. Si rean ayun kamasa yung jowa nya.Si Dylan kanina kopa inaantay kong tumawag.Suot kopa naman yung binili naming couple sweater. Ang daming tao nag tatakbuhan, isa-isa nang nagpupunta yung mga istudyante sa field, mag start na ata yung concert.  

“Hayss.. Makauwi na nga lang” bagsak ang balikat akong nag lakad palabas ng campus ng biglang may lumapit sakin.

“Ate pinabibigay po” sabay abot ng tatlong pulang rosas na ,ay maliit na note. Tatanungin ko pa sana kaso bigla na syang umalis. Tinitigan ko yung pulang rosas. Isang tao lang ang nakaka-alam ng paborito kong bulaklak. Si Dylan...binasa ko yung naka sulat sa maliit na papel. “je 't aime mon princess” *DUG * *DUG *

Hindi kaya.......

Nasa malalim akong pag iisip ng maramdaman kong may naka tingin sakin, napalingon ako sa may rooftop. Si Daniel.. naka tingin sya skin, Bigla syang nagangat ng kamay at itinali yung kalahati ng buhok nya saka ngumiti sakin. Nanlaki yung mga mata ko. Tumakbo ako papasok ng building at tinahak ang rooftop.

Binuksan ko ng malakas yung pinto, wala sya. Nagulat ako ng may biglang humablot ng kwintas ko. Pag lingon ko sa tabi ko, si Daniel. Naka side view sya sakin habang naka tingin sa kwintas. Napa tingin ako sa buhok nya, sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Yung handmade scrunches

“Dylan..” sambit ko sa mahinang boses, naiiyak nako. “Kamusta my princess.. masaya akong makita ka ng personal.” saka sya lumuhod at kinuha yung kamay ko. Hinalikan nya muna ito saka nya isinuot ung singsing sa daliri ko..  di nako makapag pigil niyakap ko sya at siniil ng halik. “hnding hndi kita iiwan aking prinsesa... lagi na akong naririto sa tabi mo.” sabay halik nya sakin noo..

“je t' amaie mon princess.” sabay halik nito sa aking noo.

“je t' amie mon prince”

--END--

[ovur]

This is how an Australian person reacts to bad news: oh norrrrrr oh norr are you joe king ? Sheeet.... fuck.

[mechanicalbride16]

When you get this, please say 5 nice things about yourself publicly, then send it to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool) :)

Oh sheeet💕

1. My music taste can go from broadway musicals to any subgenre of metal.

2. I'm easy to talk to hehe. Just approach me in the chat and we can talk about whatever topic you want to talk about. And if you're worried that you might be awkward, don't worry. I'm worse.

3. I have many skills like cooking, baking, writing stories, video editing, photography, photo editing, graphic design, painting, drawing, basic technical drafting, etc.

4. I always approach people in need whenever i'm in the right mind to help. I always try to help them even if i think that i'm saying gibberish stuffs 😂.

5. And lastly, i'm a changed person now :> it took me a while to fix myself, and i admit that i'm still doing it. I'm just glad that i'm very far from who i was before.

[ilongrangerfiona]

Hi :) its been 1 week since we broke up and I still find myself so stupid to have done so much bad to you that you’ve come to this point that you hate me that much. You even said you were traumatized from what I have done to you. Its just so sad to hear those words coming from the one I love when I should have all the chances to broke up with you when I was also traumatized and couldn’t even breath and sleep when you fucked up and hit me so hard in the bones.. but I choose to be strong all over and over again. I choose to never give up because I only not love you but I also want to give you hundreds or unlimited chances to change and be the best version of yourself. Nobody is perfect even me... I know I changed you to be the man that was never you, I have given you SO FUCKING MUCH stress when you are at work, your home, with friends and family. I never gave ALL my trust in you and doubted you all the fucking time. I never made you the man you wanted to be. I never made you do the things you wanted to do. I never let you explore and be with the people you wanted to be with. And all the SADNESS, HURTFUL and UNHAPPY feelings you felt was all because of me. All because of my selfish, insecure and fucked up self. Why on earth did I ever deserve someone like you? Why on earth did you ever liked me? Why on earth God gave someone like you? These past few days I always end up crying early in the morning in our little home. I know I was in our little home but it NEVER felt like home because I know I lost “my home” and that’s YOU. I try and try to be genuinely happy but this thing keeps me thinking all over about you - of how you are feeling, of how your heart is doing and of how happy you are right now. 

I just wanted to talk to you about US. I just wanted to tell you how much I miss being with you not physically but truly in your heart. I just wanted to tell you how much I regretted every single “nonsense LQs, selos, overthinking, pangluod, bullshit decisions and arguments”. I just wanted to tell you how much lessons I have realized thru this break up. I just wanted to tell you how willing I am to commit to EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT ME TO DO for us to be together again. I just wanted to tell you how much you inspire me even if we don’t see each other. I just wanted to tell you how much I am praying to God for you to forgive my old bad habits before and to give me another chance to be in your life and to make you happy again. I just wanted to tell you I’M SORRY A MILLION TIMES even if these words meant nothing to you anymore when it comes from me. I just wanted to tell you I wanted to wait for you even if it takes months, years and a decade, your Regine WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF WAITING. I just wanted to tell you I want to prove things to you, I want to prove to your father that even if I’m tired, I will never give up on his son. I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to you for you have taught me A LOT in life and in love. I just wanted to tell you I’M SORRY LANGGA :’( . I’M SORRY FOR HURTING YOU MY LANGGA :’( . I know its impossible for you to forgive and be with me together again but I will never give up on you even if you have given up on me. I will prove to you that my promise will never break if it means loving you. 

In this 1 week, I learned so many things.. but most especially I learned many things about LOVE. In the beginning of our relationship, I thought that if there is LOVE everything will be alright. By the time we were getting to see how toxic we were to each other, right there and then I realized that LOVE is NOT ENOUGH. Love to me right now means... 

*** To be selfless - make your partner happy first before yourself, let him enjoy his life because I don’t own your life (GOD DOES) so who am I to not let you enjoy it? :”>

*** To give your full trust - we all have our own mind to better understand what is good and bad. so I must not forget to give my full trust to you because I know it is your number 1 emotional need as my partner. Its up to you if you will break it or not but I truly know that you don’t want to be sorry in the end.

*** To be willing to forgive and forget - I have learned that if I must forgive you, I must be truly willing to forget the things in the past. Because only in forgiving and forgetting we can genuinely live a happy and peaceful life.

*** To fix problems calmly and maturely - I have learned in the past that I was really a toxic gf and never ever trusted your explanations instead I doubted them. I have learned that listening to you and understanding your explanations is always the best thing I should do to make it easy for us to solve the problem.

*** To be more vocal in a respectful way - I have learned that whenever I get mad, mangluod, selos and magduda.. I always approached you in a very disrespectful manner and I know that that was really really really wroooong. Instead I should always tell you calmly what I am feeling for you to explain things to me too.

*** To have UNLIMITED patience - I have learned that I was always impatient in the past that even if you can’t call me an hour I get mad right away. Instead, I should keep myself busy and productive so that I can also improve myself even in the smallest ways I can.

*** To “ALWAYS BE CONFIDENT and POSITIVE” - I have learned that I was really insecure to everyone that you meet. To the point that I even lowered my standards and talk to them like I am not the LEGAL GIRLFRIEND. Sheeet!!! Grabi ka sheeet! Haha. Instead I should have believed in myself more, I should have believed that you loved me very much and I should have believed that they were all just nothing to you.

*** To LOVE MYSELF MORE - I have realized that I was lowering myself in the past. To the point that I was waiting for you the whole day and not even thinking if you will be back early, chasing you in your own house knowing I am not supposed to be doing those things, forcing and begging you to love me again even if you don’t want to... Imagine??? How fucked up I wasss? I was blinded and I really lost myself in loving you. Instead I should be thinking that if you really want me, then come back and freaking get me. LOOOL! XD hahahaha. Oooopss! love yourself ganiiii. Hahaha. Balakajan! :P instead I should have been doing things that would make my soul happy and improving more in my goals (which I am obviously doing since you broke up with me. HEHEHE)

*** To NEVER CONTROL YOU and LET YOU DO ANYTHING - I have learned that I was always asking for your time, attention and love in the past which I think now is super duper bwesit hahahaha. I just don’t know but right nooow??? I am really fine if you will spend time with me, go out with your friends and do the things you want on your own. I just realized if you want to be with me physically, then okaaay! I not, then still okaaay! :D I just learned that that’s how LOVE TRULY WORKS. You give me the freedom, I give you your freedom too. If one of us messed up like cheating, then... GOODBYE. That’s called SELF LOVE.

*** To MEAN EVERY WORD I SAY - I have learned that I have said IM SORRY to you a fucking million times and never changed my attitude. I was sooo toxic and even myself right now can think of it to leave myself if I was in a relationship with myself. Haha. Amaw. Instead I should have changed myself to a better me and did everything I can to prove things to you (which I am doing right now) even if its hard that you are very cold to me and awkward, I am still doing the best that I can for you to choose me again. :”>

I never regretted my decision to agree with you in this choice that we made because I believed I will also realize many things in this choice. I believed I will be better and you will be healed. I believed that we are here because we are doing this for ourselves and for the family that we will build in the very near future. I believed that we are here to make our future better together. I never regretted because if I would have never agreed, I won’t see where I was in the past and of how much I have hurt my one and only langga. I know I still can’t give anything expensive to you at the moment but I know you already know how much I can give if God will give me the desires of my heart. Right now all I can give is the writings I always carry in my heart and the love that I will never get tired of showing you. :”> In the days were I was alone and you were so cold to me, I really wanted to give up. I really do want to give up. But I always tell myself that when you love someone its when the hardest and heaviest time you shouldn’t. I also always tell myself that I deserve to be treated this way this is nothing to the pain I have caused you my langga. But don’t worry about me because I truly deeply understand the situation. That is why even if its really hard for us, for me, I am never giving up even if I have thousands of reasons to give it all up... YOU ARE MY “ONLY” WONDERFUL REASON not to. <3 (kilig sad imong dragon baaallsss ani oiii! HAHA)

Thank you my langga for the opportunity and decision you have made. You made me a better person. I know it’s just 1 week but within that time, I can’t imagine I learned and woke up from being asleep for 3 years. THANK YOU LORD! Praise the Lord for His goodness and kindness to us. I know that God is guiding us both to the path we should be. To the clearer path of our love for each other. I can proudly say to you that I am really happy without you but life is  so much better if you are with me. And if we will be together again, I wanted to say this... I will be happy if you are not with me physically and still, I will be happy if you are with me physically. I also want us to enjoy ourselves company, our friends company and especially our families company. This time also, I want to give, give and give it all to you for me to payback all the pain you are feeling. I only ask for three things and I confidently know you are capable of giving these to me: 1) assurances to every people I don’t know personally, 2) honesty to every word you say to me and 3) for BOTH of us to compromise in every issues/problems we will have in the future.. :”> 

I admit langga I was acting so immature in the past and I have really truly regretted ALL OF IT. I am not afraid to tell you all of these because I am also human and I am tired of telling myself that I am correct/right always and that you dont understand me and that you dont have any point when in fact, YOU WERE ALWAYS RIGHT. I just want to be true to myself, accept who I am and be a better woman for myself and for the one I love. I am only human and I also sin. But I know God is never late to make me someone I really am this time and I know I am in the right path. Thank you langga for everything that you have done and for making me the person I am today. =) you have taught me sooo much jud. Thank you Lord for the gift of you. 

I am always looking forward that we will be back together my langga. I am always looking forward  that your “iloveyou” today will be “iloveyouverymuch” na. Because believe me when I say... it’s still you I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, to be the father of my children and to hold hands together when we grow old. I hope you still do my langga. :”>

Love always, Fiona