lewisandneil

[lewisandneil]

❤️

[lewisandneil]

It's heartbreaking seeing Geoff on all my TV channels, in the sanctuary, making eye contact with the fans and thanking them for being there, that man gosh he is so strong, I can't even fathom the pain he is going through, and having all these fucking cameras and microphones thrown at you, asking bout your sons death. And I'm so grateful Paul is here with him. The man who protected his child for so many years. This is all so painful.

[lewisandneil]

Louis Tomlinson via IG story [18.10.2024]

[lewisandneil]

they were all brothers. they are all brothers.

no one, and i mean no one, will ever be able to understand those years and growing into adults in the bubble they were the way those five will. for five years, they saw each other more than they saw their own families. they became family. they share something so special that people nor circumstances will ever break— they shared their youth. they shared a flash of time together that shaped them from boys into men. and as much as we’ve talked about how integral liam was to our childhoods and growth through this band, a piece of the other four boys’ childhoods and youth also died yesterday. a piece of their history died yesterday. a face to their personal memories died yesterday. and it’s devastating.

they found a home in each other when they were so far away from home, and i cannot even begin to imagine the grief they are feeling and will continue to feel.

walking in the wind has the perfect line like “if you’re lost, just look for me. you’ll find me in the region of the summer stars” and i know for a lifetime to come those four guys will be living that out as the years go on.

my entire chest aches for them. they deserve all the space and grace during this delicate time.

[lewisandneil]

[lewisandneil]

What are you thankful for this year? x

[lewisandneil]

niallhoran: 🖤

[lewisandneil]

as far as we know, niall was the last of the boys to see liam alive and i can't... i can't imagine how he must be feeling right now. the thoughts running through his head. doubts, guilt, anger. there's an inherent responsibility that comes with being The Last to see someone alive. because everyone looks to you for the answers of what the person was like before they passed. if they seemed different, sounded different, etc. and niall wasn't the very last person to see liam alive. but he's still the one with answers to questions that so many people have and i just. i can't imagine how awful that must feel. i hope he's treating himself gently 💔

[lewisandneil]

i did not once ever have a full night’s sleep from 2013-2015. nothing new to say that hasn’t already been said but it was so fucking fun being a one direction fan while they were still releasing albums/touring. can’t even put it into words or describe it. u were constantly terrorized while also having the best time of ur life.

[lewisandneil]

Harry via Instagram 🖤 - 10.17.2024

[lewisandneil]

Louis via instagram story - 17.10

[lewisandneil]

x

[lewisandneil]

Louis' tribute to Liam via instagram - 17.10

[lewisandneil]

The last time a post was made to the one direction IG it was to celebrate their 10 year anniversary, 4 years later it’s to pay tribute to a band member… hard to believe 💔

[lewisandneil]

Liam with Niall in Argentina - 04.10

[lewisandneil]

liam. oh liam. god. he was the one i worried so much about ever since the band. like, it used to be zayn but when zayn left and grew i thought "ok, he's going to be ok" because you could see after a while that the band was not good for zayn. you could see it. but liam, god. he carried so much weight, all the time. from the band all the way to the present, he was the guy who was supposed to be put together. he was "daddy direction" he was. yeah. he was that guy. and i know it weighed on him. i KNOW it did. the drinking and the fucking spiraling he went through after the band, it was all connected. and i'm not. defending his choices, i'm not. but i'm grieving him and i'm aching for him, and. i just wanted him to be okay. i really really thought that he would be okay. and he's not. and i'm. fucking heartbroken about it.

[lewisandneil]

I know they’ve been on hiatus (“hiatus”) for nine years and it’s been ten years since ot5 but this is so different because now they’ll really never be together again. Never. Even if anything ever happens in the future, there will always be a hole.