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winchesterbrotherstan · 3 years ago

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MCU: Logan Barnes-Stark - CATFA

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x (sibling) OC, Steve Rogers x (bestie) OC

Summary: The beginning of Logan's very long and very complicated life story.

Warnings: mentions of death, absent parents, fighting, curse words, abandonment, there is so much crying in this blurb, guns, needles, there's a bar scene

Word Count: 9877

“I’ll be back in a little while.” Steve pulled his jacket off the hanger by the door.

“Where’re you going?” I looked up from my book.

“Try to enlist again.” He opened the door, already halfway out.

I jumped up, tossing the book aside as I grabbed his arm. “You can’t! They’ll never let you, Steve.” I was young, but I knew enough about Steve’s health issues to know it was a lost cause.

He shook his thin arm loose. “I have to try. I’ll be back soon, Logan. Don’t let anyone in.”

I sighed. “Fine. Be careful.”

************************************************************************

"War continues to ravage Europe. But help is on the way.” Patriotic music blared. “Every able-bodied young man is lining up to serve his country. Even little Timmy is doing his part collecting scrap metal.” The scene cut to a little blond boy throwing metal around.

I glanced over at Steve, who seemed to be thoroughly invested in what we were seeing. I sighed. I knew what was going on, I knew it was serious. I just wanted Bucky to stay safe. He had enlisted. He was the only blood brother I had. I would still have Steve, but I didn’t want to lose Bucky.

“Who cares? Play the movie already!” A man shouted from a row ahead of us.

I felt Steve tense next to me. “Hey, you wanna show some respect?” He called out.

“Meanwhile overseas, our brave boys are showing the Axis powers that the price of freedom is never too high.”

“Let’s go, get on with it!” The same man.

I felt the tensions shift. “Steve, don’t.”

“Hey, you wanna shut up?” Steve was loud this time.

The guy stood up, blocking the screen. I sighed, knowing Steve was in for it. He was small and fragile. I loved him, but he could never hold a fight on his own. I looked over at him, and he seemed deflated.

“...face the threat no matter the size.” I heard the screen.

I got to my feet and sprinted out of the theater and across the street. I found the payphone and pulled out a few coins and called the apartment. Bucky would be home by now.

“Hello?”

“Buck, it’s me! Steve and I are at the movies, you gotta come quick!” I watched as the front doors swung open and the guy from inside dragged Steve into the side alley.

“Lo? What’s wrong?” His voice grew stern.

“They’re gonna beat Steve up again. Please help. He’s not gonna make this one.” I whined, toes tapping as I became frantic.

“I’ll be right there. Just stay calm and stay out of the way. Do you hear me?”

“Buck-”

“No! Logan, you aren’t allowed to get hurt. Now wait for me there. I’ll see you soon.” He scoffed.

“Love you.” I mumbled, but the only response was a dial tone.

I hung the phone up and groaned. I would be no help to Steve. Bucky was right. I should stay put. Bucky was usually right. I had an internal battle for a little bit before crossing the street. I crept into the alleyway slowly, hearing grunts and noises like metal crashing. I almost rounded the corner to where Steve was getting beat up.

“You just don’t know when to give up, do ya?” I heard the guy.

“I can do this all day.” I heard Steve’s wheezing.

I peeked my head around the corner to see him take a fist to the face.

I felt a hand come down on my shoulder and yank me backward. I jumped and wheeled around, only to see my older brother dressed in his uniform with an eyebrow arched.

��Buck. That was fast.”

“We don’t live far. Steve’s back there?” He looked disappointed.

I lowered my head and nodded. He rounded the corner and pulled the guy off. “Hey! Pick on someone your own size.”

I rushed around them to help Steve up, watching as Bucky punched the guy in the face, holding a paper in the other hand. I helped Steve steady himself as Bucky came back around.

“Sometimes I think you like getting punched.” Bucky teased.

“I had him on the ropes.” Steve groaned.

I pointed to a piece of paper on the floor in the middle of the three of us.

“How many times is this?” He picked it up. “Oh, you’re from Paramus now? You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form. And seriously, Jersey?” He held his hand out for me and I took it, shuffling over to his side and avoiding eye contact with Steve as he eyed Bucky’s uniform.

“You got your orders?”

My brother nodded. “The 107th.”

“Logan, you knew, didn’t you?” Steve sought my eyes.

I nodded. “Yeah I knew.” My nostrils started to burn as my eyes watered up.

“She just can’t keep her sticky fingers out of places they don’t belong. Isn’t that right?” Bucky said it as a joke.

“When do you-”

Bucky cut Steve off. “Sergeant James Barnes, shipping out to England first thing tomorrow.”

We all paused. I didn’t know that part. My throat threatened to close off as I took my hand back from Bucky’s, folding myself into a hug.

“I should be going.” Steve broke the silence, brushing the dust off his hands.

I felt Bucky’s eyes on me and I looked the other way, to the ground. I was thirteen and already an orphan, unwanted by my mother. I loved Steve, but Bucky was my brother. I needed him.

“I’ve gotta get you cleaned up. Logan, you’re coming with us.”

“Where’re we going?” Steve asked.

I trailed between them like a lost puppy. Bucky handed him the newspaper. “The future.”

************************************************************************

“I don’t know what the problem is. You’re about to be the last eligible man in New York. You know there’s three and a half million women here?” Bucky scoffed at Steve as we walked.

I rolled my eyes. Bucky always meant well but sometimes he annoyed me.

“Well I’d settle for just one.” Steve shrugged.

“Good thing I took care of that.” Bucky grinned.

I looked up to see him wave, and across the crowd, two girls waving back, one even shouting out his name. Steve asked my brother something, but I was too out of it to listen in. This was Bucky’s last night. He could die out there. He might never see us again after tonight, might never see me again after tonight, his last living family member. And instead of spending it with me and Steve, he dragged me along as a 5th wheel to their surprise double date. What a scam.

************************************************************************

“Oh my god! It’s starting!” The girl squealed, tugging Bucky to follow her.

Steve and I trailed behind awkwardly. His date was glued to her friend’s hip, and she wasn’t giving Steve the time of day.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Mr. Howard Stark!”

The crowd erupted into cheers, and Steve and I eyed each other. Stark was a genius, and he was sort of charming, but there was no way he could hack a flying car, which is what was promised for tonight. Steve tilted the bag of popcorn my way, and I gladly popped a few in my mouth, watching as Stark kissed the lead dancing girl and took the microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen!”

I ignored the rest, uninterested by technical talk. Steve offered popcorn to his date, who only turned to him with a face of disgust. He looked at me, confused. I shrugged with a sigh. Some girls were just like that.

“Your automobile won’t even have to touch the ground at all.” Stark spoke as the girls took the tires off the car.

We watched as he turned a few dials and then hit a button, lifting the car to hover above the ground.

“Holy cow.” Bucky sighed.

The car short circuited, and it crashed to the ground. The girls flinched, both backing themselves into Bucky’s hold. He looked back at me and, upon seeing my clearly disgruntled expression, winked.

“Now, I did say a few years, didn’t I?” Stark laughed.

I checked my pockets for the key to our apartment. I couldn’t find it, so I slipped a hand into Bucky’s pocket and took his. He was so wrapped up in the attention of the girls that he didn’t notice. I turned to Steve.

“I’m gonna head home.” I whispered.

“Why?” His face showed concern.

I shrugged. “I don’t like feeling like a fifth wheel on my brother’s love triangle date.”

He nodded. “You want me to walk you home? I think I’m gonna head out too.”

I looked over my shoulder to see what his sight was trained on. It was an Uncle Sam poster on a light pole. I sighed.

“Again?” I turned back to Steve.

He nodded. “Gonna try one last time.”

“Can I come with you?” We snuck away from Bucky and the girls.

Steve shook his head. “No, I’ll take you home and then double back. It’s dangerous for a girl out there.”

I looked at him and rolled my eyes. He sighed.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, I know.”

“Guys!” I heard Bucky as he grabbed my shoulder. “Come on, you’re kinda missing the point of a night out. The girls wanna go dancing.”

I feigned a stomachache, grabbing at my stomach and wincing, scrunching up my nose as I stumbled a bit.

“I don’t feel so good, Buck. Steve was just gonna walk me home.”

Bucky sighed, and put a hand up to my forehead. He pulled it away and raised an eyebrow at me. I dropped the act and sighed, rolling my eyes.

“Fine. I just don’t wanna keep third wheeling you and your girlfriends.”

“My girlfriends? Come on, Lo!” Bucky grew agitated.

“No, you come on!” I caught a glance from Steve and lowered my voice to a whisper. “You could die out there, and this is how you wanna spend your last night out?” I looked up at Bucky with a sigh, letting my shoulders fall. “You’re the only family I’ve got left. Sorry if this isn’t ideal for me.” I patted his arm and brushed past him, head down. “I’ll see you at home, Buck.”

“Logan.” He tried to catch my arm, but I squirmed away and kept walking, biting back tears.

************************************************************************

“I’m in!” Steve burst through the door.

“What?” I mumbled, sitting up on the couch.

“I’m in! They let me enlist!”

I laughed. “Nice joke, but Bucky’s not home yet.”

Steve pushed my legs off the couch and sat next to me. “It’s not a joke, Logan. They let me enlist. For real.” He shoved the papers into my hand.

I rubbed my eyes before looking over them. I spotted the ‘1A’ stamp in the corner and dropped the papers, looking up at Steve with big eyes. He grinned.

“Wait, so… you’re leaving too?” I didn’t mean to sound selfish, because I knew this was what Steve wanted more than anything in the world, but if Bucky was gone, Steve was the only one left. And if they both left? I would be a goner in this city.

He nodded, smile dropping. “I’m sorry, Lo. I didn’t realize what this would mean for you.”

I only shook my head, forcing a smile back at him. “It’s okay. This is your dream. Remember?”

He smiled again, nodding. “Yeah, it is. I’ll write you every day, yeah?”

I nodded, pulling him into a hug. I held back the tears that were stinging at my eyes. This was what he wanted. This was it. The only people I had were going to be gone. And I had to accept it.

************************************************************************

I hadn’t seen Bucky on the morning he left. I had woken up to a note next to a still-warm cup of coffee.

Hey Lo. Didn’t wanna wake you, know you had a rough night last night. I’ll write when I can. I’ll be safe. I promise. Please be careful. Don’t go out unless you have to. Regina knows that I’m leaving, so don’t worry about rent or anything, just try to be mindful of the electricity and the water. There’s a stash of money in my bedroom drawer for food. I love you.

See you soon,

Bucky

Regina was our landlord, and I was beyond grateful that she wouldn’t charge me rent. She liked us, mostly because it was just the two of us and sometimes Steve, and we were quiet. Bucky could fix whatever went wrong in the apartment, and if Regina asked, I could help paint whatever needed painting. She had checked up on me multiple times over the last three weeks that Bucky had been gone. She cooked me meals and brought them to me. She even joked about getting me a puppy, despite the no pets rule in the apartment building. She took care of me, and it made me feel a bit better about both the boys being gone. Steve had also held up his promise. He wrote a letter every day, telling me about training and how harsh everybody was, and an agent named Peggy Carter. He seemed to like her.

Today, they were going to inject him with a serum to make him stronger. It sounded sketchy to me, but who was I to crush his hopes? He had also said that Agent Carter had agreed to let me attend the injection and testing. They would come by today around noon to pick me up. He asked me to not mention it to Bucky, and I had agreed, reluctant to tell him that Bucky hadn’t written much. I had gotten a few letters, but they weren’t anything like Steve’s were, and Bucky didn’t tell me much. He probably thought it would protect me, but it hurt more than anything in the world. He wrote so little that at times I thought he could be gone.

I pulled myself from my thoughts and checked the clock. They would be by in a few minutes. I went to get changed, pulling on my nicest pair of slacks with a white blouse tucked into it. I slipped my shoes on and then went into Bucky’s room, stepping softly so his floorboards wouldn’t creak.

I wasn’t sure why I was still trying to tip-toe. I was allowed in Bucky’s room, and I spent more time there than in my own room. I ended up sleeping in his bed a lot of the time, even more now that he was gone. I raided his closet for the good leather jacket, the one with a few creases and one scratch down the back that I had caused a few years back.

“Logan?” There was a knock on the door, which then swung open.

“In Bucky’s room!” I called back, figuring it was Regina.

“Hey!”

I turned and saw Steve. I squealed and bolted to him, jumping to hug him. He hugged back, laughing as he stumbled backward.

“I’ve missed you.” I whispered, closing my eyes.

“I know.” He laughed. “I’ve missed you too.”

I stepped back and composed myself, smoothing out my blouse before pulling on Bucky’s jacket, sniffling.

“Logan, this is Agent Carter. Agent Carter, this is Logan.” Steve introduced me to the brown haired woman who was taller than us both.

“Hi.” I held a hand out, smiling widely.

“You can just call me Peggy.” She grinned at me, her white teeth peeking out between her red lined lips.

“It’s nice to meet you, Peggy.” I giggled, nervous.

I hadn’t grown up around other girls, much less women of authority, and never anyone British. My whole life, it was Bucky and Steve, and play-fights and being tossed over shoulders onto the floor.

“You too. We should get going.” She checked her watch. “Not much time to spare.” She smiled politely.

I nodded, pocketing the house key before looking over at Steve, breaking into a huge smile once more. Peggy walked out first, and Steve followed. I went after them, closing the door behind myself as I reached for Steve's hand.

************************************************************************

“I know this neighborhood.” Steve spoke from behind me. “I got beat up in that alley.” He pointed through the window. “And that parking lot. And behind that diner.”

I stifled a chuckle, trying not to disturb the army man who sat next to me, driving the car. I peeked back at Peggy, who was smiling faintly.

“Did you have something against running away?” She asked.

Steve shook his head. “If you start to run, they’ll never let you stop. You stand up, push back… can’t say no forever, right?”

“I know a little of what that’s like. To have every door shut in your face.”

“I guess I just don’t know why you’d wanna join the army.” Steve hesitated. “You’re a beautiful dame.”

I froze and my eyes went wide. Why on Earth would he call her a dame?

“Or a bea- a woman.” Steve stumbled to correct himself. “An agent, not a dame. You are beautiful, but…”

Peggy must’ve been glaring at him, because he began to stumble again.

“You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?”

Steve snorted and I slumped my shoulders, relieved.

“I think this is the longest conversation I’ve had with one. Well, I’m not exactly sure if Logan counts.”

I smiled.

“Women aren’t exactly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on.” Steve explained.

“You must’ve danced.” Peggy spoke softly.

“Well, asking a woman to dance is usually so terrifying. And the past few years, just… didn’t seem to matter that much. Figured I’d wait.”

“For what?”

“The right partner.”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Peggy with a smile on her painted lips. The rest of the ride was silent, and the car pulled over in front of an antique shop. Steve stepped out first, opening my door and helping me out of the car.

“This way.” Peggy led us through the doors.

“What are we doing here?” Steve pulled on his cap.

“Just follow me.”

Steve looked at me. I shrugged and stepped in behind Peggy.

“Wonderful weather this morning. Isn’t it?” An old woman stepped into view, smiling.

“Yes, but I always carry an umbrella.” Peggy smiled.

The woman walked behind the counter without a word, and Peggy led us through a set of curtains hung up in a doorway. We stood in front of a bookshelf, which swung open, revealing a hospital-like hallway, with men in lab coats walking around. We followed Peggy down the hallway and passed a bunch of military police. We walked through a set of doors, into a lab.

Everyone below looked up, silenced. There were a few nurses and doctors, and a capsule looking contraption was in the middle of the room, surrounded by control boards with every type of button imaginable. Steve and I looked around in awe, before turning to Peggy. She let out a breath and led us down the stairs, into the main part of the lab.

“Good morning.” A man in a lab coat shook Steve’s hand.

A camera flashed, and Steve flinched. The man in the coat turned to the photographer, disappointment on his face. “Please, not now.” He looked at me. “You must be Logan Barnes. I’m Dr. Erskine.”

I accepted his outstretched hand and shook it, smiling. “Nice to meet you.”

Steve looked at the capsule, eyes wide.

“You ready?” Dr. Erskine looked to Steve, who nodded hesitantly. “Good. Take off your shirt, your tie, and your hat.”

Steve looked at Peggy and I awkwardly, and we both turned away as he undressed. He handed me his clothes, and looked at me, nervous. I forced a smile.

“You’ll be okay. Promise.”

He nodded at me and stepped into the machine, lying on his back. Dr. Erskine stepped forward and began to talk to him.

“Mr. Stark? How are your levels?”

Steve squirmed to look at me, and his eyes must’ve been as wide as mine. Stark was helping?

“Levels at one hundred percent.” Stark brushed past me and to Steve’s side. “We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready. As we’ll ever be.”

“Agent Carter, Miss Barnes, don’t you think you’d be more comfortable in the booth?” Dr. Erskine pointed up.

“Oh yes.” Peggy smiled and led us up to the booth.

Steve and I locked eyes as I followed Peggy up the stairs, both anxious. Steve was fragile enough as it was, and this looked like it could kill him. Hopefully, Stark had this perfected, unlike his flying car.

“Can you hear me?” I heard Dr. Erskine over the speaker. “Is this on? Ladies and gentlemen, today we take not another step towards annihilation, but the first step on the path to peace.”

Peggy and I were in the front, noses practically pressed against the glass. I could see them placing pads on Steve’s chest. He looked nervous, but was trying to hide it with a steely look.

“We begin with a series of microinjections into the subject’s major muscle groups. The serum infusion will cause immediate cellular change. And then, to stimulate growth, the subject will be saturated with Vita-Rays. Serum infusion beginning in five… four… three… two… one.”

I watched as Steve’s face scrunched up, biting back pain. Dr. Erskine had a hand on his shoulder, but Steve didn’t seem to notice, trying his best not to squirm as the dozens of small needles poured the serum into his bloodstream. Stark hit a lever, and the capsule closed around Steve. I must’ve been visibly nervous, because I felt Peggy grab my hand. I looked up at her and she sent me a reassuring smile, squeezing my hand.

Stark began to hit dials, and turned a wheel. A light sparked inside the capsule, and it grew brighter as Stark turned the wheel. It must’ve been the Vita-Rays. Peggy and I squinted, but we didn’t look away. Steve began to scream and I looked at Peggy. She jumped from her seat and ran down the steps. I followed behind her.

“Shut it down!” Peggy shouted. “Shut it down!”

Dr. Erskine began shouting orders for the people to shut it all down.

“No!” Steve screamed. “Don’t! I can do this!”

Stark and Erskine shared a look before Stark turned the wheel the rest of the way. Peggy looked at me, knuckles white from gripping the railing.

“He can handle it.” I looked at her, gripping the sleeves of Bucky’s jacket.

The lights flickered, and things around the room began to spark. The machine shut down, and Erskine called for Stark to open it back up. He did so, and the capsule slid open, red light beaming from inside.

“Steven?” Erskine ran forward first.

I stared, eyes wide. It was still Steve, but he was now taller and more muscular than Bucky. It was insane.

“I did it.” Steve winced as they helped him out.

He was sweaty, and obviously in pain, but he looked at me and smiled.

“Yeah, ya did.” I scoffed, amazed.

“How do you feel?” Peggy ran forward, fingers skimming his new muscles.

“Taller.” He breathed out.

“You look taller.” Peggy handed him a shirt.

He pulled it on, stumbling.

“I feel weaker.” He whispered to me as I came to his side, still in awe.

I laughed, trying to think of a response, but I only stuttered, then shrugged. “Holy fuck.”

He pushed me by the shoulder with a playful eye roll. “That’s a bad word, Lo. Don’t say that.”

I chuckled, but his eyes turned wide and he pulled me under his arm, ducking. There was an explosion, and then glass rained from above.

“Stop him!” Erskine shouted.

There were two gunshots, and people began to scream. Steve pushed me into Peggy, who had her arms out, ready and waiting. He ran to Erskine, who was now on the ground, dying. Peggy lifted one arm, taking two shots at the man who caused the explosion and pocketed the last vial of the serum. She got him in the arm, but he kept running.

“Stay here!” She shouted at me, and then ran after him.

Steve got up and followed. I screamed for him, trying to run to him, but Stark appeared behind me and grabbed me by the wrists, stopping me. I struggled against him, but his grip held firm as Steve disappeared beyond the double doors and after the killer.

“He’s gonna be okay. He’s indestructible.” Stark tried to calm me.

I took my hands back, breathing heavily. “He better be.”

************************************************************************

I stood by Steve’s side as the nurse eyed him before pulling the last syringe of blood from his arm.

“You get enough?” He was upset.

He had been shot at, and he stopped the man, but he killed himself before Steve could bring him in.

“Any hope of reproducing the program is locked in your genetic code. But without Dr. Erskine it would take years.” Peggy explained to him.

I helped him roll his sleeve back into place and he sighed, getting off the table.

“He deserved more than this.”

“Well if it could work only once, he’d be proud it was you.” Peggy sighed.

He sighed again, looking down at me. I reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. We would figure this all out. We always did.

“Come on.” Peggy led us back downstairs, where Stark was inspecting the submarine the German spy tried to get away in.

“As of today, the SSR is being retasked. We’re taking the fight to Hydra. Pack your bags, Agent Carter. You too, Stark. We’re flying into London tonight.”

I stayed tucked behind Peggy, in front of Steve. I didn’t want to open my mouth, because I was only thirteen and I probably officially wasn’t really here, and I definitely wasn’t supposed to be here, and I absolutely wasn’t supposed to witness what had just happened.

“Sir. If you’re going after Schmidt, I want in.” Steve spoke in as the Colonel passed us by.

“You’re an experiment, you’re going to Alamogordo.”

I stepped back, astonished. Alamogordo was where they had an air force base. Why on earth would they send him there?

“The serum worked.” Steve fought back.

“I asked for an army and all I got was you. You are not enough.” The Colonel scoffed before walking away.

Steve sighed, and another man stepped in, smiling at Steve.

“With all due respect to the Colonel, I think we may be missing the point. I’ve seen you in action, Steve. More importantly, the country’s seen it.” He held his hand out and his secretary handed him a paper from today. “The enlistment lines have been around the block since your picture hit the newsstands. You don’t take a soldier, a symbol like that, and hide him in a lab. Son, do you want to serve your country on the most important battlefield of the war?”

“Sir, that’s all I want.” Steve’s eyes were wide.

“Then, congratulations. You just got promoted.”

************************************************************************

I sighed as I smoothed out Steve’s costume. It was a ridiculously bright white, red, and blue. They refused to send him out onto the actual battlefield. So they made him a consumer icon. And since he didn’t wanna leave me behind, they made me, a thirteen year old kid, his manager.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Steve mumbled.

“Nothing to it. Sell off a few bonds, bonds buy bullets, bullets kill Nazis. Bing bang boom. You’re an American hero.” Gray, Brant’s secretary, spoke to Steve.

“It’s just not how I pictured getting there.”

“The senator’s got a lot of pull up on the hill. You play ball with us, you’ll be leading your own platoon in no time.”

I waited for Steve to pull the mask with wings on, then handed him the metal shield with stars and stripes on it.

“You’re on, Steve.” I drummed my fingers against the clipboard I held against my chest.

He stepped out onto the stage as the girls sang.

“Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American way?”

“Not all of us can storm a beach or drive a tank. But there’s still a way all of us can fight.” Steve was clearly reading off the back of his shield, and I followed along with the script on the clipboard.

“Who vows to fight like a man, for what’s right, night and day?”

“Series E Defense Bonds. Each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy’s gun.”

“Who will campaign door-to-door for America? Carry the flag shore to shore for America? From Hoboken to Spokane, the Star-Spangled Man with a plan!”

************************************************************************

“Cut!” The director yelled as Steve and a bunch of extras walked in front of the forest background. “Guys, don’t look at the camera!”

I sighed. We had been doing the same scene for the last hour, and Steve was getting fussy, like a child who hadn’t eaten lunch. We had been on this plan for the last two years, and Steve could read things off a script and have them memorized in minutes. He was famous world-wide, with the exception of the Axis powers. Bucky only wrote a few times every couple of months, and I feared the worst, but I was too busy with managing Steve and booking tours to find anything out about him.

“And action!”

************************************************************************“We can’t ignore there’s a threat and a war we must win!”

“Each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy’s gun!” Steve grinned out at the crowd.

“Who’ll hand a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berlin? Who’ll redeem, heed the call for America? Who’ll rise or fall, give his all for America? Who’s here to prove that we can? The Star-Spangled Man with a plan!”

“We all know this is about trying to win the war. We can’t do that without bullets and bandages, tanks and tents. That’s where you come in.” Steve spoke as the fake Hilter snuck up behind him and kids in the crowd began to shout. “Every bond you buy will help protect someone you love!”

Like every time, my mind wandered to Bucky. A third year had passed, and everyone I went to refused to give me information. Some because I was a girl, others because I was only seventeen, and others because they simply didn’t feel like it.

“Keep our boys armed and ready, and the Germans will think twice about trying to get the drop on us.” He swung around, faking a punch for the man, sending him to the floor.

“Stalwart and steady and true, forceful and ready to defend the red, white, and blue! Who’ll give the Axis the sack and is smart as a fox? Far as an eagle will soar! Who’s making Adolf afraid to step out of his box? He knows what we’re fighting for! Who wakes the giant that napped in America? We know it’s no one but Captain America! Who’ll finish what they begin? Who’ll kick the Krauts to Japan? The Star-Spangled Man with a plan!”

************************************************************************

Another couple of months passed, and I was betting that Regina thought I was dead. She probably thought Bucky was dead too. Most people did. Steve and I refused to talk about it. Most people, at this point, would hold a memorial or a funeral. Steve and I didn’t. We didn’t say a word. Bucky was probably dead, yes, but neither of us could really accept that he could be gone.

People began to love Steve more and more as time went on. Well, most people. Not soldiers. Soldiers really didn’t like him. We were in Italy, five miles from the front. These men had fought long and hard, and they were tired.

“How many of you ready to help me sock old Adolf on the jaw?”

The soldiers said nothing to Steve. “Okay. Uh… I need a volunteer.”

“I already volunteered! How do you think I got here?”

The crowd laughed.

“Bring back the girls!” A different man shouted.

“I think they only know the one song. But um…let me…I’ll…I’ll see what I can do.” Steve stuttered.

“You do that, sweetheart!”

“Nice boots, Tinker Bell!”

“Come on, guys. We’re all on the same team here.” Steve tried to quiet them down.

“Hey, Captain! Sign this!” A man from the crowd mooned Steve and others began to throw things at him.

“Bring back the girls!” Another soldier shouted again.

“Go.” Gray and I pointed the girls out as Steve came backstage.

“Don’t worry, pal. They’ll warm up to you. Don’t worry.” Gray tried to reassure him.

************************************************************************

“Hello, Steve. Logan.”

Steve turned and I looked up from his drawing to see Peggy.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

“Well, officially, I’m not really here at all. That was quite the performance.” She grinned, and he shied away.

“Yeah, uh… I had to improvise a bit. Crowds I’m used to are usually more, uh… twelve.” Steve shrugged.

“I understand you’re America’s New Hope?”

“Bond sales take a ten percent bump in every state I visit.” Steve shrugged again.

“Is that Senator Brandt I hear?” She teased.

“At least he’s got me doing this. Phillips would have had me stuck in a lab, and put Logan... who knows where.”

“And these are your only two options?” She gestured to the open book in his lap where he had been drawing. “A lab rat or a dancing monkey? You were meant for more than this, you know? Both of you.”

I only looked away with a sigh. Steve opened his mouth to say something but stopped short, looking down.

“What?”

“You know… for the longest time I dreamed about coming overseas and being on the front lines. Serving my country. I finally get everything I wanted, and I’m wearing tights.”

An ambulance blared its horn, and we turned to watch as wounded soldiers poured out, clutching their sides and their heads and blood falling down their arms and legs in rivers.

“They look like they’ve been through hell.” I mumbled.

“These men more than most. Schmidt sent a force to Azzano. Two hundred men went up against him and less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of the one-oh-seventh. The rest were either killed or captured.”

Steve and I locked eyes, hearts stopping in our chests, bile rising in our throats as our stomachs churned.

“The one-oh-seventh?” I looked at Peggy.

She nodded, confused. Steve tried to grab me, but I shoved his hands away as I got to my feet, stumbling over the laces of my boots. I inhaled shakily as I ran to the Colonel’s tent. Steve and Peggy were at my heels.

“Well, if it isn’t the Star-Spangled Man with a plan and his manager. And what is your plan today?” The Colonel eyed us both.

I couldn’t breathe, so Steve stepped in.

“I need the casualty list from Azzano.”

“You don’t give me orders, son.” He squinted.

“Please, we just need one name. Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes from the 107th. Please, Colonel Phillips.” I gasped out.

“You and I are gonna have a conversation later that you won’t enjoy.” Phillips pointed at Peggy.

“Please just tell us if he’s alive, sir. B-A-R-”

“I can spell.” Phillips cut him off, then eyed me. “He’s your brother, isn’t he?”

I nodded, swallowing.

“I’ve signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar, and I’m sure it was addressed to Miss Logan Barnes. I’m sorry.”

My heart fell to my stomach and I stumbled backward.

“W-what about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?” Steve placed a hand on my back, steadying me.

“Yeah! It’s called winning the war.”

“But if you know where they are, why not at least…”

“They’re thirty miles behind the lines. Through the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We’d lose more men than we’d save. But I don’t expect you to understand that, because you’re just a glorified chorus girl and a dumb kid.”

Steve scoffed. “I think I understand just fine.”

“Well then understand it somewhere else. If I read the posters correctly, you’ve both got some place to be in thirty minutes.” He walked away.

I stared up at the tent wall, which had a map marked with where the men were thought to be. I nudged Steve, nodding to the map. He studied it and breathed deeply.

“Yes, sir. I do.”

“If you have something to say, right now is the perfect time to keep it to yourself.” Phillips growled at Peggy, who only sighed.

Steve walked out, and I followed him to the tent. He changed into his costume, flinging his other clothing across the room. He yanked a bag up, emptying it onto the ground and then stuffing it with other things.

“What do you plan to do? Walk to Austria?”

“If that’s what it takes.” Steve grunted.

I sat on his bed, pushing my head into my hands.

“You heard the Colonel. Your friend is most likely dead.”

I winced, curling into myself.

“I’m sorry, Logan.”

“You don’t know that.” Steve paused, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“Even so, he’s devising a strategy. If he detects-”

“By the time he’s done that, it could be too late!” I sprang up, following Steve back into the rain and to the jeep. “You told us you thought we were meant for more than this. Did you mean that?”

“Every word.” Peggy sighed.

“Then you gotta let me go.” Steve began to climb into the car.

Peggy raised an eyebrow. “I can do more than that.”

************************************************************************

I sat in the tent, shaking. I was to stay put. Phillips couldn’t force me to talk, and I was only a minor. He couldn’t do much to me. I pulled the blanket up around my shoulders and sighed. Stark and Peggy would drop Steve off. With a plane. Steve would fight his way through the Hydra base. Steve would bring Bucky back. Steve would bring them all back. Alive. I shivered at the prospect of losing Steve too. Would I even be able to go back to New York? Would Regina let me back in? Or had she already booted our things and given our little two bedroom apartment away? And on top of all that, I wasn’t even sure if Bucky would come home again.

************************************************************************

“Senator Brandt, I regret to report that Captain Steven G. Rogers went missing behind enemy lines on the third. Aerial reconnaissance has proven unfruitful. As a result, I must declare Captain Rogers killed in action. Period.” Phillips spoke as the man typed at his desk.

I winced, hugging myself. Stark and Peggy had been found out, but they hadn’t bothered to try and lie about it. Steve still hadn’t come back, and they came clean. Phillips was pissed beyond belief, but it was nothing compared to the idea of Steve being dead too.

“The last surveillance flight is back. No sign of activity.” Peggy spoke quietly.

“Go get a cup of coffee, Corporal.”

“Yes, sir.” He left.

“Now Stark, I can’t touch. He’s rich and the Army’s number one weapons contractor. Miss Barnes here is a minor. But you-” He pointed to Peggy, “you are neither one.”

“With respect, sir, I don’t regret my actions. And I don’t think Captain Rogers did either.” Peggy stated.

“What makes you think I give a damn about your opinions! I took a chance with you, Carter. And now America’s golden boy and a lot of other good men are dead, because you had a crush!”

“It wasn’t that. I had faith.” Peggy defended herself.

“Well, I hope that’s a big comfort to you when they shut this division down.”

Soldiers began to shout and cheer outside. I looked up, confused.

“What the hell’s going on out there?” Phillips hissed.

“Look who it is!”

I pushed past the curtains to see Steve, costume torn and face bruised and bloodied, but alive. Men crowded behind him, most of them also hurt.

“Some of these men need medical attention.” Steve saluted Phillips, who was now behind me.

I scanned the crowd as medics scrambled to help the wounded men. Steve said something about disciplinary action, but everything went numb the moment I saw my older brother.

“Bucky!” It was a shriek, and I was pushing past the sea of dirtied men to reach him.

“Logan!” He shoved his rifle into somebody’s hands and scooped me up, hugging me so tightly I thought my ribs would break.

“I thought you were dead!” I cried, letting my head fall against his shoulder as he lifted me off my feet.

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry, Logan. I’m so sorry.” He calmed me, smoothing my hair back as tears streamed down my face.

“I missed you.”

“I know. I’ve missed you too, Lo . I’m so sorry.” He set me down and sniffled, wiping away his tears and then mine.

“You’re late.” Peggy spoke to Steve.

I broke my attention from Bucky and leaned over, punching Steve in the arm. He grinned at me, and held up a broken transponder.

“Couldn’t call my ride.”

“Why’s he wearing tights?” Bucky leaned in, whispering.

I snickered. “He goes by Captain America, too, Buck.”

Bucky pulled back with a cruel smirk. “Hey! Let’s hear it for Captain America!”

************************************************************************

I slouched against the counter with a yawn. I was still only fifteen, but Captain America vouched for me in that I wasn’t at the bar to drink, but to spend time with my brother, who had been gone for years.

Bucky smoothed my hair back with a soft smile as Steve sat next to us. The other men, who I had learned were dubbed The Howling Commandos, were getting drunk, singing with all of their hearts.

“See? I told you. They’re all idiots.” Bucky grinned, referring to the fact that the men were more than willing to go for the Hydra bases Steve had seen on a map during his rescue mission.

“How about you? You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?” Steve smiled, and Bucky laughed.

“Hell, no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I’m following him. But you’re keeping the outfit, right?”

“You know what?” Steve grinned. “It’s kind of growing on me.”

The singing stopped as Peggy walked in, wearing a red dress that stuck to her like a second layer of skin. She ignored the others and addressed Steve.

“Agent Carter.” Steve swallowed.

“Hi, Peggy.” I grinned at her, spinning around on my stool.

“Hi, Logan. Sergeant Barnes.” She nodded at Bucky.

“Ma’am.” Bucky’s eyes were wide.

Peggy turned back to Steve. “Howard has some equipment for you to try. Tomorrow morning?”

Steve nodded. “Sounds good.”

“I see your top squad is prepping for duty.” She eyed the drinking men.

“You don’t like music?” Bucky tilted his head.

“I do, actually. I might even, when this is all over, go dancing.” Peggy stated, curt.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Bucky winked.

I turned to him, eyebrows furrowed. What had the war done to him?

“The right partner.” Peggy responded, eyes on Steve. “0800, Captain.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be there.” Steve nodded, and Peggy turned on her black heels and left.

“I… I’m invisible. I’m … I’m turning into you. It’s like some horrible dream.” Bucky spoke to Steve, who only laughed.

“Don’t take it so hard. Maybe she’s got a friend.”

************************************************************************

The boys were getting ready to leave, packing their final things and changing into their army uniforms. I had woken up early to see them off, horrified to have the same thing happen once more. Bucky would come home this time, as would Steve, but it was still a scary thought in the back of my head.

“Logan, do you have a hairbrush?” Bucky came out of the bathroom, trying to comb his hair back with his hands.

I laughed, still sleepy as I patted the spot on the bed in front of me. “I wanna brush it.”

He rolled his eyes playfully before sitting down. I pulled the brush through his hair, laughing as he squirmed. I finished his hair as Steve came back, fully dressed. He sat down and tied his shoes. Bucky did the same, pushing at his hair once more before turning back to me with a sad sigh.

“Be careful. Please.” I stared up at him.

He nodded, then pulled me to stand, hugging me tightly. I buried my head into his shoulder and held back tears. He let go first, smiling at me and ruffling my hair.

“I will be. I love you. I’ll see you soon.”

I fixed my hair and he kissed my forehead. He shouldered his bag and walked through the door with a sad smile.

“Steve, wait!” I called him back, tears flowing freely now.

“Be safe. And-”

“I’ll bring him back. I promise.” Steve hugged me.

I nodded as I pulled back.

“Thank you.”

They left, closing the door behind them. I sat back down on the bed and sighed. My only people were gone. Again.

************************************************************************

The next few days were uneventful. Stark let me help him around his lab, but only to tidy things up. He was sort of a spaz when it came to his little inventions. He treated them like they were his children, which I understood to an extent. I slept in the little motel room the division had rented for Steve, Bucky, and I. Peggy would stop by to visit every other day. Sometimes she would give me updates on the boys, other times she would bring by food and a new book so I had something to do.

The boys were supposed to come home tonight. I was excited, so excited that Stark kicked me out of his lab and told me to go do something useful. I settled for baking a peach pie in the kitchen. The boys scarfed them down whenever I made them back home, and they would probably appreciate a taste of home when they returned from their mission.

************************************************************************

I sat on the steps of the Allied HQ. The boys were due back any minute now, and I had the pie wrapped up next to me. My leg was bobbing up and down at such a speed that my foot went numb and my ankle was beginning to hurt. I had gotten a bad feeling around noon, and I couldn’t seem to shake it. I chalked it up to an upset stomach, but it was beginning to feel like something more.

I checked my watch and sighed. The boys were late. I looked back up to see Peggy running to me, eyes wide and concerned. I asked her what was wrong, but nothing that came out of her mouth was comprehensible. A black car pulled up, and Steve was the first to climb out. I smiled at him, but when he looked at me, he started to cry. Things began to move in slow motion. The other men poured out of the car. But none of them were Bucky. Steve fell to his knees in front of me and spoke.

“Bucky’s gone.”

I shuddered, feeling my heart break. It ached, and I stared at Steve with wide eyes.

“But you promised!” I screamed, hitting his chest.

“I’m so sorry, Logan.” He tried to pull me into a hug.

I hit his chest again, squirming up and away. I ran, and I didn’t stop.

************************************************************************

I woke up in the motel room. I felt like I hadn’t gotten any sleep. My limbs felt leaden, heavy, asleep. There was a knock on the door, and I grunted. Peggy walked in and set down a mug, presumably of coffee. I forced myself to sit up. I hadn’t left the room in days, and I refused to speak to Steve. I had never felt so betrayed, so hurt, so much pain.

“Logan.” She spoke, and her voice broke.

I looked up at her, now alert. Peggy didn’t cry.

“Steve’s gone.” She pushed out, then broke down.

I felt myself go numb as Peggy cried beside me. I could only breathe, and only if I really focused. When did he leave? What mission did he have? Why was he gone? How? I looked at Peggy, feeling my eyes begin to burn.

I stuttered, but no words came. I let out a sob, and Peggy pulled me into a hug, trying to soothe me.

“What happened?” I stumbled over the words, my tongue heavy in my mouth.

She only sobbed again.

************************************************************************

Steve had left to stop Schmidt. He had to save New York. He crashed the aircraft into the middle of nowhere. He was gone. They still hadn’t found him. They built a memorial for him in Brooklyn. Bucky was forgotten by everyone but me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was still alive. Regina had died, and the apartments were torn down. I had nowhere to go. I was an orphan, a sister without a brother, and now a girl without her only friend. Stark, Peggy, and the others were to return to their homes tomorrow.

“Logan?” There was a knock at the door.

“You can come in.” I shifted in the bed of the motel.

The door opened, and Peggy walked into the room. She eyed me with a sigh, then sat next to me.

“How do you feel?”

I scoffed. “Can I be honest?”

She nodded, understanding what I meant. “Vulgar too, if you’d like.”

“I feel like total fucking shit. My brother’s dead. My best friend is dead. They’re all gone. My apartment got torn down. It’s all over. I’m fifteen and I don’t have a family anymore.”

She nodded again, sighing.

“I’m sorry, Logan. I know that doesn’t make any of it better. But genuinely, I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged. “Not much could make any of it better. Not unless you can go back in time and fix it all.”

She looked down at me. “Listen. I know we aren’t very close. I know I could never replace any of your family. But… would you like to move in with me? You would have your own room, you could have all your own freedom…” She sighed. “I just… I don’t want you to keep being alone.” She eyed me.

I looked up at her, then smiled. “Seriously?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

I threw my arms around her and began to sob, overwhelmed.

“Thank you, Peggy. Thank you.”

************************************************************************

I loved Peggy. I still love Peggy. But I only managed to live with her for three months. She always had to go for work, and I couldn’t stand to be left alone with her younger brother. Their relationship reminded me of Bucky and myself. I still believed he was alive, and I missed him, and I couldn’t handle it any longer. I grew desperate. I ran away. I lasted three weeks. Then I went to Stark.

I knocked at his door. His security measures were fairly weak. But I was still horrified. If he couldn’t take me in, then I was a goner. For real this time. There was no place for me to go. The door opened.

“Logan Barnes! What a surprise! What’re you doing here? Please, come in, come in!” He was cheerful.

I stumbled in. “Hi, Mr. Stark.”

“Hey. I heard about your brother. I’m sorry for your loss.” He patted my shoulder.

I nodded, biting back tears. I breathed deeply. “Um. I’m actually… here about that.” I sighed. “I have nowhere to go. And you’re the only person I had left to think of. A-and I-”

“No, it’s alright. I understand.”

I looked up at him, my bottom lip quivering. My nose became stuff and my eyes started to burn. “I know it’s a lot to ask. I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “It’s alright. You can stay here. I’ll do my best, but I’m no father.” He smiled.

I chuckled. “Neither was my brother, don’t worry.”

He smiled again, wider this time. “Well, I’ll show you to your room.”

************************************************************************

I jolted awake. Bucky was gone, but still alive. Steve was gone. I wiped the tears away, but they kept coming. The sheets, thankfully, were soft and smooth and comfortable. I had been living with Stark for a week. He was nicer than I had expected. He understood that I was in pain, and he gave me the space I needed while also ensuring that I didn’t become unhealthily isolated. There was a knock on the door.

“Logan. You’ve been sleeping for a while. Are you okay?”

I sniffed and cleared my throat.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Alright. No rush.” I heard his footsteps leave.

I sighed. I had dreamt about Bucky, again. I was still firm in my belief that he was out there, somewhere, alive, and scared, waiting for help to come. But nobody agreed with me. Nobody else thought he was still alive.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes and got out of bed. I changed out of my pajamas and into normal clothing: a pair of overalls with one of Bucky’s old shirts underneath. I found Stark at the dinner table, a cup of coffee on the table in front of him. I sat down with a sigh.

“How’d you sleep?”

I shrugged. “Keep having nightmares.”

He nodded. “You ready to talk about them? You keep having them. They about your brother?”

I finally looked up at him. “He’s still alive. He has to be. I-I-I… I just have this feeling. Like he’s not really gone. You know? He’s alive, he’s somewhere out there.”

Stark arched an eyebrow. “A feeling?”

I scoffed. “I know it sounds ridiculous, but… When I get feelings… like this. I’m usually not wrong.”

“Could it be possible that you just want to believe that he’s still alive?”

I nodded, biting my lip. “Yeah, I guess so. I mean… my mom didn’t want me. She left me and my brother.” I shrugged. “And then my dad died. Bucky was all I really had.”

Stark only sighed. “I’m sorry.”

I shrugged. “Bucky liked French. He uh… had a favorite phrase. I think it was something like uh…” I cleared my throat. “C’est le vie.”

“I believe it’s C’est la vie.” Stark smiled.

I snorted. “Yeah.”

************************************************************************

“Logan. You’ve been in there for two days. You have to come out.” Howard knocked on the lab door.

“I can’t. I’m so close.” I dropped my head against the wall behind my head. “I’ve almost got it.”

Howard forced the door open, shutting off the computer systems.

“Please!” I whined, but he ignored my pleas.

This had continued for two months. I still believed Bucky was alive.

“Look, Logan.” He squatted in front of me, eyes stern. “He might be out there. You could be right. Bucky could still be alive. But you can’t find him. You cannot find him. You don’t know where he is. Do you understand me?” He shook me by the shoulders.

I looked away.

“Logan. Do you understand me? Bucky might be out there, but you don’t know where. You can’t find him. You’re just a kid.”

Something in my brain flipped and I looked up at him.

“Maybe I could be more.”

“What?”

“Maybe I could be more.” I repeated.

“Logan?”

I stood up, eyes wide as I looked at him.

“If I had the serum. I could be more than just a kid.”

“No.” He shook his head.

“Howard, please. I can find him. I-I-I-I just… I just need a little help. The serum could help me.”

Howard paused, and then shook his head again. “No, Logan. I’m sorry. The last part of the serum was destroyed, remember?”

“No. No, you told me that you made a better version. An advanced one. You just didn’t have anything to test it on.”

“Logan, I have no idea if that would even work. It could kill you!”

“So what? If it works, then great. I get to find my brother. If it doesn’t, and I die…” I shrugged. “I don’t wanna live without Bucky anyways.”

Howard thought it over, I could see it in his eyes. But then he shook his head again, with a scoff.

“No. I’m sorry, Logan. But I’m not doing it.”

************************************************************************

“Are you ready?” Howard asked as I laid down in the capsule.

I nodded. “Now more than ever.”

“It’s gonna hurt.” He warned.

I nodded again. “I know.”

************************************************************************“Well why in the hell did you do it?” I could hear Peggy.

“She begged! She wants to find her brother! That’s all she wants! Who am I to stop her?” Howard shouted back.

“Well what if she dies? She looks like she’s about to!”

“Just… Peggy, please don’t mention it to anybody.”

“I have to! She’s not normal anymore!”

I forced my eyes open looking to my side to see that neither of them were in the lab. I pushed myself up with a grunt. I looked at my arms. I didn’t seem more muscular. My legs didn’t either. Sure, I was definitely more toned, and I was no longer chubby, but there wasn’t a notable difference like there had been with Steve.

I got to my feet, and stumbled out of the lab. It sounded like Peggy and Howard were in the kitchen, and they were still yelling at each other. They were a floor away, but they sounded like they were on either side of me.

“Guys!” I called out as I reached the steps.

“Logan!” Howard was relieved.

“Logan.” Peggy was angry.

I felt a mix of my emotions in my head. Peggy came over and grabbed me by the shoulders. I felt a stabbing pain in my leg and I winced, pulling away from her. She let go, and I felt the pain remain. I looked at her, confused.

“Did you hurt your leg?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yes, earlier this week. How did you know?”

“I felt it.”

“What?”

“I felt it.” I spoke louder this time. “When you touched me, I felt it. Y-your right leg. Just under your knee.”

She nodded, eyes wide. I looked to Howard, who was ecstatic.

“This is amazing!”

“What the hell?” Peggy scoffed.

“Okay. Okay, I want you to tell me exactly what has changed.” Howard spoke softly.

“Uh…” I felt light-headed. “I’m skinnier. Uh, I can hear … I could hear you guys, clear as day, down from the lab. And I just felt Peggy’s pain.” I looked up.

“When she said she felt it, it went away.” Peggy spoke.

“Yeah, I still feel it.” I grunted.

Howard and Peggy shared a look.

“We have to give her up to SHIELD.” Peggy shook her head.

“What’s SHIELD gonna do with her?”

“House her! Keep her safe!”

I wrapped my arms around myself and sighed, letting my head dip forward as I blacked out.

Next: December 17, 1991

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fashionitforward · 2 months ago

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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: New Red White & Blue Wood “Welcome Home” Star Hanging Wall Decor Sign.

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another-writer · 5 years ago

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Muted Colours

Summary: After a botched mission resulting in you taken captive, your team breaks you out.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: None? Some really brief mention of blood? Also Bucky being a literal fluff because why not.

Bucky knew you had to be alive. Only because he refused to conceive of anything otherwise. He was lying awake in the common area of the compound on his back, several screens surrounding him with various information reading locations and identities of the people he had managed to apprehend on the mission that had resulted in you -

In you getting left behind.

The image sent Bucky spiralling. He didn’t see you get taken. But he remembered running back to the jet, last in line, Tony yelling through the comms for everyone to retreat back, being too overwhelmed with enemy fire. When the hatch closed, Bucky had searched desperately for you - thought it wasn’t as if there was anywhere in the small jet you could hide.

Tony and Sam had scanned from the sky for you before the jet took off; there wasn’t a trace of you. You weren’t answering on the comms. And the best case scenario was for them all to assume you were taken captive.

So the priority became to get you back. There was enough of a lead, but any known location didn’t happen to hold you. And over time, nearly a month, your absence had become more and more of a lead block in Bucky’s mind, absorbing light and energy and he refused to succumb to it.

‘Anything?’

Bucky sat up at Natasha’s voice breaking the silence.

‘Waiting for a breakthrough,’ he admitted.

Natasha raised a brow and leaned against the doorframe. ‘I don’t suppose you’ve thought about sleeping while you wait?’

Bucky bit his lip, unable to meet her expectant stare. ‘We didn’t have much time, and she got separated so early, I know, but ... I feel like I should’ve been more careful.’

‘[Y/N] can watch herself the same as any of us can, it just ... wasn’t her day,’ Natasha said. For morale’s sake, she was doing her best to minimise the uncomfortable pit in her stomach. ‘When we’re out there, all of us are equally responsible for each other. This isn’t just on you.’

‘So what now?’ Bucky asked, trying not to sound defeated.

‘You haven’t slept. Go to bed; I'll wake Steve at a reasonable hour, we’ll work on it and wake you in the morning.’

Your hair was matted and you had dried blood from an open cut on your lip from your fight from last night. Given the circumstances, you were relatively well taken care of. You were a prize fighter in an underground tournament - your captors’ financial success depended on your survival. An Avenger participating against their will and purely for survival? Total cash grab.

So, at least you were guaranteed to live, so long as you kept winning.

Part of you knew you were lucky to be alive. On your first night in your cell, you worried about the others, whether they had all gotten away; the mission - hopefully - hadn’t been a total failure. You had been taken, sure, but perhaps in the midst of it all, the others had been able to complete it. They couldn’t have ended up where you were because you figured you would have fought them by now. You wondered whether they were looking for you. You thought about them nearly all the time - your training from Natasha (one of the most seasoned hand-to-hand combatants you knew) was what was keeping you alive in the ring; hers and Steve’s ability to maintain team morale kept you focused. But you missed Bucky the most. He was everything wrapped into one, your best friend, your confidant, a growing team player, an overall comfort zone.

You took a deep breath in and out through your nose. Remembering your team kept your hope steady but you couldn’t let it distract you. You weren’t sure how long you had been here, but you were embarrassed to admit you weren’t sure how you would get out.

You didn’t know exactly where you were, either. You had awoken in a cell, after falling unconscious, and were promptly led into an arena with a crowd of spectators. When a stranger - lumbering, tall, bloody and bruised - lunged at you, you figured you didn’t have much time for questions and quickly acclimated to the situation.

Currently, you were re-taping your knuckles to stem the bleeding sustained last night, as you were escorted to the ring through musty, poorly-lit corridors. You didn’t know who your opponents were. They were all good fighters - agile, strong, fast. You figured you were lucky, rather than better. You handed the gauze back to the guard walking you. Another opened the door.

A handful of dim spotlights lit the arena. The steel door was shut behind you, creating an echo that sent the spectators into a frenzy. You were welcomed by the buzzing crowd placing last-minute bets and screaming in excitement for you. The only thing that separated you from them was a steel fence.

Suddenly, you heard a strangled, stifled cry - it contrasted against the frequency of the spectators and your eyes flitted to the crowd who instantly were kicked into an unfamiliar mania.

Among shouts, the dim lights were accompanied by bright flashlights. You saw armoured men and women swarm the arena.

Heart pounding, you kept your eyes on the door where your opponent should have entered from, nearly going dizzy from the suspense before you steadily backed away to your own door. It would have been just your luck if you were arrested too.

But no one was letting you back out. You pressed yourself against the door, hearing bullets fire and rocket off the concrete as the arena’s guards began firing.

The door opposite you then swung open, hard enough to smack harshly into the wall and after a beat -

‘James?’

His stance was solid; rifle aimed and ready, black bulletproof vest and combat gear, dusty and matted like he had run through a war zone. But when he saw you, his eyes softened, and he lowered his weapon. You noticed how tired he looked. His skin was unusually pale.

‘God, I never thought I’d see you again,’ he breathed.

The sofftness of his voice constrasted sharply; it was as if everything else was muted.

Bucky wasted no time, striding across the arena, ready to engulf you in his arms and take you away, but when you faltered and immediately took a step back, he slowed and stopped a few feet away from you.

Your hands were in fists, shoved in the pockets of your black cargo pants; your entire body was aching to the point where it was numbing, breath hitched. Your bones felt like metal scaffolding scraping against each other. It was as if you finally felt tired. You stood stiffly, looking much more menacing than you felt. The light from the corridor behind Bucky flooded the otherwise dimly-lit room. You were able to leave - yet, part of you didn’t want to accept it in case it wasn’t true.

Bucky bit his lip. A strand of hair had fallen over his eye; he was trying to find a balance between his reaction to seeing you and keeping his focus. His stare honed in on a dark, blackening bruise under your right eye, your bleeding hands matted with dirt.

Bucky’s instict kicked in, grounded by the gunfire. As much as you were clearly hurt, it wasn’t the time to worry over the damage. He had to get you out first.

‘[Y/N], we don’t have time,’ he said carefully, taking the tactical belt from around his waist and holding it out to you; there were several grenades and a shotgun hanging from it. A small earpiece balanced between his fingers.

Your teeth gritted. As a strange discomfort swelled in your stomach, you took the belt with a shaking hand and wrapped it around you, adjusting the length so that it fit, and put the earpiece in place. A chill ran down your spine when your earpiece picked up familiar voices. Goosebumps rose on your arms.

Relieved, Bucky lead you out from where he had come. Your corridor was free from fire; you saw a handful of unconscious guards lying on the floor. The sounds were muted for a while, and slowly they began to grow again. But it wasn’t the sound of a gambling crowd, or arrests, it was pure battle.

‘Stay behind me,’ Bucky said lowly.

The both of you worked in tandem, you staying more careful since you were largely unprotected, shooting then taking cover.

When you worked your way to the main hanger, a hundred feet from the entrance, you spotted Natasha across the room from the corner of your eye and were nearly decaptitated by the flying red, white and blue shield before ducking and allowing it to slam into a guard behind you.

That damn platter of patriotism.

You bit your lip, a grin forming on your lips. You picked the shield up and used it to defend yourself as you fired several bullets all meeting their targets, before using all your might to throw the shield back in Steve’s direction.

Bucky glanced at you quickly, admiration amalgamating in the pit of his stomach. You looked like yourself. Or at least, your survival instincts were kicked in. Whatever you had been through, at least you were able to hold your ground.

It wasn’t long before Bucky was ushering you outside, the Quinjet hovering in the distance and approaching. The fight began to wind down behind you, arrests were being made; you thought you heard Tony talking to one of the cops but everything began to blur. When you stepped outside of the steel doors and felt the freezing air on your skin, saw the beginnings of the sun filtering through the dark sky lighting it a delicate purple - it all fell away. You welcomed the biting cold, the pinpricks along your arms and the tussling wind caused by the Quinjet’s engines as it landed close to you. You could have lay down and gone to sleep there and then.

When you entered, you couldn’t help it: you unfurled the utility belt and dropped it lazily in the corner, accepting the shock blanket that Bruce offered you, and wrapped it around yourself, allowing your knees to buckle, and curled up contentedly on the floor of the jet behind the passenger seats. It was an inconvenient placement, but it was available. And at least it was clean.

You heard footsteps, your team entering the jet, which prompted you to sit up and lean against the wall. You felt the shock blanket fall around you but your arms felt too heavy to lift it back.

‘[Y/N], lemme take a look,’ Bucky’s voice was gentle; he knelt in front of you, hand edging towards yours, picking it up and unravelling the botched layers of bandages. His touch was gentle and familiar and it didn’t take long for you to melt into him; a lump formed in your throat and your eyes began to water.

You watched him work, wincing at the sting of the anti-septic. ‘So,’ you breathed, steadying your voice, eyes flitting to the team, ‘we got everyone this time?’

Your humour was met with a ripple of relief that ran through the aircraft; despite their obvious success in getting you out and shutting the underground arena down, you had noticed a tension that you badly wanted to lift. It was as if they were waiting for you to give the green light.

‘Glad to see you in one piece,’ Natasha said as Bucky applied a paste to the bruise under your eye. ‘We should’ve brought snacks.’

You smirked. ‘Yeah, you should have.’

Bucky snickered, mostly out of repose, lifting your hand after sealing the bandage, and kissing your palm gently, leaning over to then kiss your forehead before engulfing you tightly. You felt the heat creep up your neck - Bucky wasn’t usually affectionate in front of other people.

‘Ease up,’ you said, meaning to sound affectionate but your exhaustion was amplified. ‘I’m all gross.’ As he pulled away, you squeezed his arms, calming him.

Bucky bit his lip, his forehead creasing slightly like he was finally starting to feel the overwhelming wave flood him. ‘Doll, I’m so s-’

‘James, c’mon don’t,’ you wavered, your eyes glossing over his face, taking in his piercing eyes that were glazed with comfort but also concern. You ran your fingers through his hair tenderly, resting your hand on his cheek. ‘I’m here. I’m fine.’ You looked up at the others. ‘I’m grateful you guys came for me,’ you said shyly, unable to find the words to express how you felt.

But they knew that. And you saw it in their eyes and heard it in the way they brushed off your thanks in various ways. And you would be forever thankful for the understanding that had been built between you.

‘I just haven’t eaten properly in a while - Sam, don’t you usually have protein bars or something?’

‘I think this is the first time you’ve ever asked for one.’ Sam smirked and pulled one out from a duffle bag where Bruce had pulled the shock blanket from.

He knelt in front of you, tearing the wrapper, and holding the protein bar out for you. You sat up straight and took it; the dryness of its texture was usually unwelcome, but now it overloaded your tastebuds. Bucky sat against the wall next to you, his hand holding yours securely; Natasha knelt next to Sam, reaching around you to re-adjust the blanket around your shoulders as Steve uncapped a water bottle for you to drink from. Your insides turned fuzzy from the literal bubble they created around you.

On the journey home, you melted into the warmth; the questions about your experience were broached but not pushed; your responses were met with patience, and your questions of where you had been taken were answered but you all quickly melted into the banter and the comfortable silence that followed as you grew tired in the aftermath of the adrenaline rush.

You leaned back against Bucky, head resting on his shoulder as his arm curled around you. Under the heavy smell of smoke and dust in his tactical gear was the comfort of his chest and the welcome, familiar fit of his hand.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #marvel imagine #marvel #marvel one shot #bucky barnes one shot #bucky fluff #another piece of writing #reader insert #bucky barnes imagine

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mightydragoon · 5 years ago

Text

Suitless Vader and Luke Fic Recommendations

@silvereddaye Hey you asked for it.

1. Sent Out for Safety - Chapter 1 - throwawayflames - Star W...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22659655/chapters/54159751

At the age of eight, Luke Skywalker and his sister, Leia, are split up for their safety. Leia stays with their Uncle Ben, and their mother, to learn how to be a Jedi. Luke, on the other hand, is sent to the Organa's, where he will pretend to be their adoptive son who was orphaned. Ben had only given Luke one rule to live by while he was away from his family, don't tell anyone his last name, and he followed that.

It wasn't his fault that Darth Vader sensed that he was a Force Sensitive and now he wants to train him, as a Jedi no less. That's the complete opposite of what Ben had told Luke. And after asking Darth Vader about his dad, Luke can't help but say yes to Darth Vader training him. After all, Luke's always wanted to be a Jedi like his father.

2. Another Empire - Theace1

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14666787/chapters/33883572

Another Empire - Chapter 1 - Theace1 - Star Wars - All Med...

The Battle of Yavin had a surprising outcome with the death of Emperor Palpatine. Luke Skywalker's confrontation on Bespin has a much different outcome in the AU story, meeting someone he never expected to see: The Empress Vader.

3. Oceans Across- planningconquest

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15176468/chapters/35194499

Oceans Across - Chapter 1 - planningconquest - Star Wars -...

Star Wars on the high seas! Doesn't get more simple than that.

4. Burning Mother planningconquest

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11952459/chapters/27024234

Burning Mother - Chapter 1 - planningconquest - Star Wars ...

A Jedi Luke emerges onto the galactic scene over a decade after the Jedi temple burned. Joining with Cassian Andor, rebel spy, they attempt to return to the Rebellion to attempt to full fill his destiny as the Chosen One. Sidetracked by pirates, farmers, and blind monks. All the while hunted by a vengeful Lady Vader who would see the young Jedi dead with the rest of his Order.

5. Dynasty Valerie_Vancollie

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13111908/chapters/29997507

Dynasty - Chapter 1 - Valerie_Vancollie - Star Wars - All ...

Hit in the leg by a stormtrooper's blaster bolt, Luke falls in the Death Star hanger bay and is unable to escape on the Falcon along with Han and Leia. During the subsequent interrogation, his true heritage is revealed and Vader instantly takes him to Coruscant, determined to reclaim the son the Jedi stole from him. But the glory of the Imperial capital belies its true nature, where politics and power are everything and anything is fair game in the never ending game to reach the top. Not lying, not betrayal, assassination, sabotage, blackmail, nor seduction. As he commences his Sith training, Luke must also learn the rules and etiquette of the Imperial Court if he is to survive as most of his enemies fight their battles with words and political maneuverings rather than military force. Yet, even as he struggles to gain his place within the Empire, Luke learns that his best friend has joined the Alliance...

6. Possibilities of If May Be Valerie_Vancollie

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12946578

Possibilities of If May Be - Valerie_Vancollie - Star Wars...

Co-authored by Selinthia Avenchesca.

What if two different Star Wars realities started to merge?

7. We are all in the gutterarcticapple

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7070698/chapters/16072126

We are all in the gutter - Chapter 1 - arcticapple - Star ...

Vader gets caught by the Rebellion and eight years old Luke gets tossed into the mix. Observe and discuss.

8. new cornerstone: a reconstruction mandalorianed ( Private)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5308523

When Luke had imagined finding out who his parents were, he had never imagined this.

9. Revenge Leads to Karma, and Karma Bites Darikiema

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9055873/chapters/20601586

Darth Vader created them for his revenge; the clones of Obi-Wan Kenobi were his to torture and kill. But when something goes wrong and one of them isn't grown before being released from the pod, he's met with a dilemma that could change the face of the Galaxy.

Or:

Karma sucks and if Darth Vader ever meets her, he's going punch her in her damn face.

10. The Reckoning. SpaceTrashCanFan (Sketchandcomicbookperson)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21597067/chapters/51495820

After Darth Vader goes missing after an failed attempt to assassinate the emperor, he was presumed to be dead.

Years later, a few Jedi and a child show up at the front door of the rebellion with an mysterious defector in tow. And they have big plans...

11. Bright Binary sunset in Dark Times SpaceTrashCanFan (Sketchandcomicbookperson)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19711126/chapters/46648030

A.k.a Vader got frozen in Carbonite, somehow.

-------

Since Vader went missing, years ago somewhere in the outer rim...when Leia was very young (5 years) . Leia Organa gets years later when she was seventeen a bodyguard assigned to her after an attempt on her. Normally, she would protest.

But this man is not like the others. Something that was eating him and her parents were keeping a secret. Wielding a weapon of a Jedi... Using the Force and having secret meetings with spies and her father..

Leia is determined to find out what is going on and discovers how her bodyguard is a reformed Sith-Lord who went missing several years ago.

12. Tumblr Prompts KaelinaLovesLomaris

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9179176/chapters/20834479

A collection of unrelated Star Wars ficlets, from tumblr prompts. New "chapters" will be added as I get new prompts, and I'll update tags as I go too. Almost all of these revolve around Luke and Vader's father-son relationship, aside from the first few.

13. No Distance Far Enough KaelinaLovesLomaris

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17549516#main

Imperial Prince Luke Skywalker is kidnapped by the Rebellion. His father is not happy.

14. Those Who Walk The Paths Of The Sky (Must Learn To Fly) antebunny

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13771092/chapters/31651179

In which Leia is seven when her only friend Dijan dies. Her grief tears apart the shields Obi-Wan Kenobi put up on her mind to hide her adeptness with the Force, and is felt by two other residents in the galaxy: her father and her brother.

Or: The Skywalkers have a mental conversation from opposite sides of the galaxy because they're Skywalkers.

It also changes the course of the galaxy, but that's just to be expected.

EDIT: the second work is all part of this work!

15. Those Who Walk Series antebunny

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1176827

Skywalker family fluff.

16. Those Who Walk The Paths Of The Sky (Must Learn To Fly) II --antebunny

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13779084/chapters/31673112

Sequel to Those Who Walk The Paths Of The Sky (Must Learn To Fly), because there are still a lot of things that need to happen. But they're Skywalkers, so it has to be dramatic as possible. Including old friends, Organa Family Drama, Skywalker Shenanigans, and Hutts. Also, don't mind Obi-Wan. He's busy moping.

EDIT: THIS IS NOW ALL PART OF THE FIRST WORK

17. the shifting light of stars freefan1412

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904197/chapters/49692206

Obi-Wan never needed to ask Padme for Anakin's location. That has consequences.

18. Fulfilling a Prophecy KianRai_Delcam (orphan_account)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13466274/chapters/30871740

Qui-Gon's eyes are gentle when he replies, "Changing fate is not always best, Vader. Whatever happens is as the Force wills it to be." Vader scoffs, "I'm hardly a youngling to be lectured, Jedi. My knowledge of the Force is more complete than yours. You have not walked both sides of the Force as I have. The Force is neither an ally nor a slave, as the Jedi and Sith see it." After Darth Vader's death and Anakin's redemption on the second Death Star, both Luke Skywalker and Vader are more than surprised when they find themselves alive on Coruscant in the Jedi Temple. Of course, Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi are a bit perplexed as well. Follow the Chosen One and company as they journey across the galaxy once more, discovering their true selves and fulfilling a prophecy as it was meant to be. Fic takes place over a few years, and may possibly go into the Clone Wars. Not just another time travel fix-it AU. You have been warned.

19. Cloak And Dagger dorenamryn

https://archiveofourown.org/series/613946

“...and those that endeavour to dissolve it [the Union of Great Britain], carry a dagger under the cloak of patriotism, to stab their country in the heart."

In which everything changes, but also nothing does. (aka: the one where Anakin Skywalker is a Jedi Knight pretending to be a Sith, Emperor Palpatine thinks he's won, Obi-Wan Kenobi thinks his best friend's betrayed him, and Leia Organa is stuck in the middle of it.)

20. The Good Temptation Sinclairchap

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4740410/chapters/10834520

The Force is out of Balance. Unfortunately, it's Chosen One has done little to fix this, and has even Turned to the Dark Side, furthering the Unbalance. The entities created directly by the Force, who guide those who use it, have decided he requires a nudge in the right direction. A rather large nudge.

But not everybody, or even the Chosen One himself, agrees with this plan.

(Previously titled "Path to Redemption")

21. Misguided Light Skylanian_Writer

:https://archiveofourown.org/works/4572396/chapters/10413042

Vader survived Mustafar unharmed, but believes everyone he holds dear is gone. Except his son, who he would do anything for, so long as Luke stayed by his father's side.

Padmé managed to survive childbirth, and lived to see everything she fought for be deystroyed. Except her daughter, who Padmé would die for in a heart beat.

Unfortunately, Luke and Leia are not willing to sit quietly as their parents fight a war. The twins actions shake the entire galaxy to its core.

The Force really hated the Skywalker family.

22. In the Past SilverDaye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16597682/chapters/38898149

It's been two months after Bespin, and Luke Skywalker is trying to come to terms with the events that happened there. During a dogfight with Darth Vader, both of their fighters crash. When they recover, they both find themselves on Coruscant at the end of the Clone Wars. Vader still aims to claim his son, but Luke has been taken to the Jedi Temple where he meets Anakin Skywalker.

23. Runaway SilverDaye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14630196/chapters/33813027

Imperial Prince Luke runs away from home to escape his overprotective father Emperor Vader. Jumping from planet to planet he finds himself creditless on Tatooine. While working for more money to leave the planet, Luke meets an old man named Ben Kenobi. But Luke knows he can't stay in one place for long for surely his father is hunting him down.

24. The Bargain SilverDaye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13722573/chapters/31525827

Vader has killed off his master and claimed the throne as Galactic Emperor. Padmé has become an outspoken figure head and leader of the Rebellion. Vader captures his wife. Now she must figure out a way to be free for not only herself, but her children as well. She's fighting against Vader, who will stop at nothing and use anything means necessary to bring his family together.

#star wars #suitless vader #luke and vader #anakin and vader #luke skywalker #darth vader #anakin and luke #skywalker family drama #skywalker family #fanfiction #fanfiction recommendation #ah shit here we go again #vader and leia #anakin and leia

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