#Part 3 of 31

[icycoldninja]

FLUFFCEMBER DAY #3: (Nikolai x Reader)

Fluff headcannons

-You'd think you were prepared for a clownish boyfriend, since anyone who dresses like a clown is likely to act like one. Turns out you were wrong, there is nothing on this planet that can prepare you for an annoyance like this one.

-He's loud, goofy, a huge prankster, and can never seem to keep his hands to himself. He's always got to touch you somewhere, for some reason.

-He can ambush you out of absolutely nowhere thanks to his portals. Yes, the range is limited, but Nikolai is very creative.

-Asks you to braid his hair because it's fun, and will gladly return the favor. He's unsurprisingly very good at it.

-Puts on a show whenever you're in the room entirely so he can impress you. It's cute, but cleaning up confetti and thin slippery tinsel ribbons are a huge pain, and he's no help.

-He can utilize his ability to hug you with a nearly infinite amount of arms. It's best done when you're both awake because if you fall asleep like that, you will wake up with numerous injuries.

-Whenever he has a gift for you, he makes you play a game with him to win it, (he gives it to you even if you lose) or he'll pull it out after some flashy magic trick.

-Will take you on "work trips" with him where all he does is commit violent and terrorists acts on Fyodor's behalf. Regardless of whether you enjoy the events taking place or not, he'll find some way to make you laugh, and if he can't, he'll buy you a present to make up for it.

-Can be very, very clingy for no discernable reason. When this happens, expect him to sit in your lap and snuggle up to you for the rest of the day/night.

-Whenever you're just relaxing at home together, he might spontaneously start singing or dancing and expect you to join in.

-He will protect you from anyone who seeks to manipulate or harm you, particularly Fyodor, that rat bastard.

-Has a serious sweet tooth, especially for chocolate. (who doesn't) If you leave any in a place that he can reach, and he can reach anywhere, he will devour it all and leave none for you.

-Despite all the inconveniences he causes you, Nikolai has a soft, truly loving side to him that he shows to you every now and again, usually by holding you down and forcing you to sit there and let him kiss you all over.

[aurorangen]

Gen 3 babies' life update!!!

Charlie & Pam: Expecting

Renee & Vincent: First-time parents

Robbie & Jayleen: 3 years together

Kiana & Antony: Officially dating

[g1rlr0b1n]

Yet another commission by the amazingly talented @ookamihanta!!! Go check out their page to see more art!!! Their commissions are still open so go check that out as well!!! I highly recommend them!!! 👹

Gods and Demons (Preview)

Damian's preparations for departure were almost complete when Superman hailed him down. For a moment, Damian considered pretending he had not seen him, but ultimately rose to meet the two men who had now landed gracefully beside him and Goliath. He was familiar with the man known as Superman, but the second man was a stranger to him. He was tall with wavy dark locks framing a sharp jawline and piercing steely grey-blue eyes, he bore a resemblance to the other man. He had a pretty good idea now of who he might be. The man's attire was peculiar though, causing Damian to wrinkle his nose slightly in disapproval. He wore a black suit adorned with shimmering silver stars, his deep crimson colored cloak billowing behind him. The most unnerving part of his uniform however, was the obvious missing "S" shield in the center of his chest, leaving the skin underneath exposed for all to see. Damian quickly averted his gaze, focusing back on Superman. “What’s this?” Damian's features contorted in suspicion as Superman extended a piece of paper towards him.

“An olive branch” he replied calmly, then motioned to the tall figure standing next to him, Kal-El cleared his throat, “this is my son, Zod-El. He will be stationed in Tibet with you for the foreseeable future.” There was a moment of tense silence as if to allow for Damian to process the information. Then, Superman spoke again, breaking the stillness. "Consider him an ambassador of good faith," he said firmly.

Damian scoffed, crossing his arms, “Tt. More like a spy to make sure I behave," he retorted with a sharp edge to his voice. The Justice League's true intentions were clear, they had their own agenda, but he intended to manipulate it to his advantage. Despite their lack of trust in Damian's ability to change the League of Assassins, it gave them an excuse to keep him under observation and under their protection. They needed to keep Damian alive regardless of his intentions because the absolute worst case scenario for them would be for him to lose control. It was an obvious choice, he was the only option with ties to the Justice League and a genuine desire to make the world better, even if his methods had not been received well by them. He could only stand to benefit from such a relationship, nonetheless, he’d make them work for it.

Superman let out a weary sigh, his broad shoulders slumping in exhaustion, “you agreed to observation after the attempts on your life," he reminded Damian sternly. The mention of those close calls made Damian flinch slightly, the memories still fresh and painful. Ever since his grandfather’s passing things had not gone as smoothly as anticipated, with everyone with even the slightest of claims coming out of the woodworks, but he survived and he’d continue to do so. Of course, some extra protection would be prudent, even though he had managed to reunite his family giving him the most claim, the attacks still occurred. His mother had even begun to express concern, certain that there was a rat among his inner circle. Damian didn’t want to consider that, the notion that the people he cared for most wanted him dead. Although it was a reality that he hated to admit, he could probably benefit from an impartial set of eyes and ears. Yet, Damian was proud if nothing else and he refused to allow anyone to think him weak.

"That may be," Damian huffed, "but I never agreed to an indefinite placement and certainly not from one of your B-list cast offs." His lip curled teasingly as he surveyed the man clad in black in front of him. He was curious to see how he would react.

The man grit his teeth and extended a hand with a forced smile. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Dam-”

Damian interrupted firmly, his piercing gaze fixed on the man's face. “You may call me The Demon’s Head.”

The man chuckled nervously as he pushed back some unruly curls from his forehead. “No offense but...” he hesitated before continuing, “I’d rather call you anything else.”

Damian's lips curled into a menacing smile, his pearly whites barred behind a mask of feigned politeness. "Then, may I have the pleasure of calling you Jonathan?" The man remained silent, his expression guarded. Damian pressed on. "surprised that I know your other name?"

He cleared his throat, his voice betraying forced calmness as he responded, "Not really...and it's just Jon."

The smile fell from Damian's face, replaced by a look of disdain, "I'd rather call you anything else." The lack of push back from his opponent was slightly off-putting, it was simply no fun if they just stood there and took it. But then again, what did he really expect from the son of the Big Blue Boy Scout, always so righteous and obedient.

The tension between them hung heavy in the air, like a thick fog that refused to dissipate. Goliath finally broke the awkward silence with a restless shift, his large frame causing the ground to tremble beneath him. "I see there's no point in arguing with you," he grumbled, casting a patronizing look at Jon. "If Super Slut is ready to depart, then we shall." With the grace of a seasoned rider, Damian pulled himself up and swung himself onto his fiery red companion, feeling the heat emanating from its powerful body. Beside him, Jon effortlessly lifted himself off the ground and into the air. The bat dragon spread its massive wings and with a few strong flaps they ascended into the sky.

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober Day 28 - No-holds-barred beatdown, exposure, used as bait

CONTINUATION TO DAY 13 go read that one if you haven’t (or if you need a refresher it’s been so long lol)

Hi I'm still kicking <3 only three left after this, I WILL be finishing these, NO MATTER WHAT RAAAAAH. my goal is to be done before the 15th but we'll see how that goes. I'm going to try 😓

The prompts used aren’t the best, but they were the only ones that even vaguely fit lol. The third one doesn’t even come into effect until the very end. Also this was only going to be one more part. but. they kept talking.

Warnings: violence, injury, a handful of previous warnings from day 13

Day 13

ao3 link

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Sky and Warriors woke up at the same time.

Twilight stirred from his spot on the ground, having let his mind wander as he’d waited. His body still ached a bit, and it wasn't helped by his stint on the cold floor, but he sat up anyway as Warriors’ eyelids fluttered, and a squeaky moan came from Time’s back, Sky’s tail flicking. Twilight looked between the two, then went to Sky first, since strangely enough it seemed like he was waking up faster.

Legend sat next to Warriors, saying something to him as he woke, and Time watched the two with slightly narrowed eyes. He looked at Twilight as he walked up, flicking an ear as Warriors let out a disbelieving noise and Legend squawked angrily.

“Here,” Time said, carefully leaning over and sliding Sky off his back. “I’m going to go make sure Legend doesn’t bite him. And that the captain doesn’t stomp our veteran by accident. Or on purpose.”

Twilight nodded, and sat down next to Sky as his blue eyes flickered open.

“Easy Sky,” Twilight woofed as he moved a little, and Sky twitched his nose.

“Ow...” he groaned, and Twilight gave his ear a gentle lick. “...Oh, hey rancher... why’re you so big?” he asked blearily, squinting as he tried to sit up. His paws slipped out from under him though, and Sky stared at them in bewilderment, the expression honestly adorable on his furry face. He wiggled a few toes, and stared at the fur and claws, blinking in shock.

“Rancher?” Sky repeated in more of an alarmed voice. “What’s going on?”

“Short version? We all got turned into animals,” Twilight admitted, giving Sky a little push with his snout in order to help him sit up when he tried again. “We fell down here and all transformed somehow. You’re one of those cat things on your island, a... was it a remake?”

“A remlit,” Sky corrected, sounding a little calmer, but still disturbed. He studied his paws, and tilted his head back, trying to look at his ears and tail. “Huh. Just like Legend that one time. Those... women did this to us?”

“Yep, the creepy voice ones. Or something down here did, we’re not exactly sure. But it’s their fault somehow,” Twilight confirmed, and watched intently as Sky shakily stood up, paws trembling. “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m— yeah. This is just... weird,” he admitted. “I... this was dark magic, wasn’t it?”

“We think so, yeah.”

Sky frowned and looked around the dark cave, large ears swiveling, and both he and Twilight jumped as they heard a distressed whinny. Twilight whirled around, and saw Warriors attempting to get to his hooves, his legs wobbling underneath him.

“Easy Captain, don’t move too quickly,” Time warned, and Warriors snorted, tossing his head.

“Don’t ‘easy’ me, I’m not staying like this a moment longer than I have to!” Warriors said, nearly falling over. “Horses are fine, I like horses, but I don’t want to be one!”

“Actually you’re a unicorn,” Legend said helpfully, and Warriors huffed angrily as Time moved to his side, helping to steady him.

“Right. I’m a horse with a big pointy stick on my head. Wonderful.”

“At least you can stab things,” Legend continued, nose twitching in amusement. “You didn’t have a weapon before, and now you do. Besides, I think the horn really compliments your flowing locks.”

“I could almost say the same,” Warriors snorted. “Flowing locks indeed. Finally the mystery of the pink hair is solved. I wouldn’t have guessed a bunny rabbit would be the cause but you—”

“Now see here—”

“All right, that’s enough,” Time said with a sharp look at the both of them. “Captain, are you feeling all right? We all saw how rough that transformation was.”

“I’m fine,” Warriors mumbled, pawing at the floor.

Twilight glanced back at Sky, who was sniffing at the scratches on his side with a wince on his face. He’d managed to stand by himself though, and so Twilight moved over to Warriors, the captain’s legs still wobbling.

“Relax Captain, we’re going to fix this,” Twilight reassured, and Warriors made another annoyed sound, his tail swishing.

“So long as we don’t need opposable thumbs,” he said. Twilight sighed.

“We’ll manage, Captain. I know this isn’t ideal, but we’ll figure it out.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re used to having four legs,” Warriors said in a sharp voice, and Twilight flattened his ears in annoyance.

“I’m stuck like this too, Captain. Just because I’m more used to four legs doesn’t mean I don’t want my regular ones back,” Twilight snapped, his worry and fear at the whole situation abruptly bursting out. “Now if you’re done arguing with Legend we still don’t know where half our group is, so if you’re able to walk without falling over let’s get going.”

Warriors blinked, obviously taken aback, and Twilight turned away from Time’s frown and stuck his nose up in the air to sniff for any more familiar scents.

The faintest hint of one that wasn’t rock or cave smell wafted by his nose, and Twilight turned in a slow circle, trying to pinpoint it. He caught a bigger whiff, and gestured with his head.

“I think I found someone else,” he said, and Time hummed in a growly way.

“Are you guys ready to move?” Legend asked, looking askance at both Sky and Warriors. Sky hesitated, his legs still wobbly, but when he walked around in a small circle he was able to keep his footing. Warriors gave a curt nod, his legs looking steadier, and he didn’t look over at Twilight.

Twilight felt a little sting of shame, but he swallowed it back. He could apologize later.

“This way,” he said, turning into the darkness, and the others followed along behind him, Warriors’ hooves clicking against the stone floor.

They kept the pace slow, in respect for both small and unsteady legs. Twilight felt impatience simmer under his fur, but he knew he couldn’t just run ahead. He was currently one of their few lines of defense, and who knew how many monsters might be around down here?

Sky and Legend walked together beside him, Sky asking questions about being an animal, Legend answering as well as he could. Warriors was obviously listening in as well, and Twilight even noticed Time’s ear swivel back when Legend started in on ways he dealt with fights.

Twilight... probably ought to be giving tips as well, he certainly had plenty of knowledge to draw on. But he was intent on following the scent, keeping a nose out for any others, watching for monsters, and also looking for a way out. Legend could handle the crash course in being an animal.

What a disaster.

Twilight sighed and kept sniffling, trying to identify exactly who’s scent it was he was following. He stepped past a couple large rocks that glowed faintly green, and as the scent grew steadily stronger, Twilight suddenly paused, his stomach sinking. Even with the strange overtone to it, he suddenly knew exactly who’s scent he was following.

He bolted, leaving the others behind, knowing the source of the scent was close. Twilight turned a corner, intently sniffing, and sure enough a few moments later his paw bumped into a small, grey-blue creature.

Twilight froze, and lowered himself to the floor, almost not believing what he was seeing.

“Oh boy... champion?” he asked, nuzzling gently at him. Wild don’t move, unconscious, and Twilight gave his head a small lick. “Hey, wake up for me?”

A chirrupy groan came from Wild’s still form, and his eyelids flickered, blues resting hazily on Twilight’s face.

“Mm... Twi?” he mumbled, ears twitching. “Where... ow... why does my whole body hurt?”

Twilight winced. “Well, it ah... might have to do with the fact that you’re a squirrel.”

Wild blinked slowly, his gaze still bleary. He flicked his ears again, twitched his tail once, then jerked to his feet with a completely flabbergasted expression.

“A WHAT?!” he yelped right as the others all rounded the corner and caught sight of him. Legend took one look at Wild’s bushy tail before his face cracked into a huge grin.

“Champion you’re— you’re a squirrel!” Legend spluttered, then burst into uproarious laughter, looking at Wild with pure glee on his face. “That’s the best thing I’ve seen all day!”

“IT’S NOT FUNNY!” Wild screeched, his fluffy tail sticking straight up. He looked a solid mixture of offended and freaked out. “WHAT’S FUNNY ABOUT TURNING INTO A SQUIRREL?!”

“It’s hilarious, actually,” Legend cackled, wheezing as he fell backwards, nearly tripping Sky. “A squirrel! No wonder you’re such a hoarder!”

Legend burst into another peal of laughter, and Wild stumbled backwards, every bit of him tense. Twilight moved towards him, and Wild let out a panicked little chirp.

“Wild, it’s okay,” Sky said, and Wild twitched his nose as Twilight gently nuzzled his head. He could hear Wild’s tiny heart beating like a drum.

“Are you hurt at all?” Time asked, and Wild shook his head, his tail lowering a little.

“No, I’m fine. I just... no. Don’t like this.”

Wild swiped a paw over his face as his nose twitched again, and Twilight very firmly held back the urge to laugh. Now was not the time, even if Wild being a squirrel was admittedly... rather hilarious. At least on par with Legend being a rabbit.

Maybe Farore has a sense of humor.

“Hey, you’ve just gotta adjust,” Legend said as he gave himself a shake, finally getting ahold of himself. “Just think how it could be worse. You could be a bug or something.”

“But I’m a squirrel!” Wild chittered frantically, his tail whirling all over the place. “I’m tiny! I’m defenseless! I can’t even hold a weapon like this!”

“Wow. What a hardship,” Legend said in a deadpan. “Being a small mostly-defenseless woodland creature.”

Wild opened his mouth to retort, then slowly closed it again, staring at Legend like he hadn’t truly looked at him until now.

“Oh. Uh... you’re... a pink blupee thing?”

“A rabbit. We all got transformed, Wild, calm down. I’m sure we'll be able to fix it,” Twilight reassured, and Wild groaned, pulling his tail over his face.

“I hate this. No thank you. Nope.”

“Join the club,” Warriors sighed, and Twilight sat down beside the little ball that was currently Wild, giving him another lick. Wild uncurled a little, looking at Twilight with thinly-hidden panic in his eyes, and Twilight’s chest tightened. Wild rarely looked so rattled.

“You’re sure you’re not hurt?” he asked quietly, and Wild nodded.

“Just sore,” he said quietly. “That transformation was awful. Is... everyone else okay?”

“We don’t know. We haven’t found everyone yet,” Twilight explained with a sigh. “No sign of Hyrule, Wind, or Four.”

“But I’m sure we’ll find them,” Sky said hopefully, his large ears spread wide. “If nothing else I’ll be able to hear them with these big old things.”

Time chuckled, and Wild’s tail flicked around, the champion obviously still distressed. But he took a deep breath and sat up, determination in his eyes. Sky watched Wild’s tail swish around as he studied everybody’s animal forms, Sky’s pupils going wide, and suddenly shot out a paw to bap at it.

Wild jumped, and Sky immediately drew back, spouting apologies.

“Sorry! Sorry It caught my attention and I was just going to watch it but then I... I don’t know why I did that,” he finished in bewilderment.

Time let out a huff from nearby. “Instincts. Never know when they’re going to kick in. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve eaten rocks without thinking.”

Twilight wasn’t the only one who gave him a strange look at that.

Unfortunately none of them got to press the question, since right as Twilight opened his mouth to ask, a loud rumbling sound came from somewhere in the cave, the ground shaking under their feet.

Warriors stumbled, and Sky and Wild both fell over, the cave shaking so violently Twilight wondered if it was about to fall on their heads. He quickly positioned himself over the smallest members of the group, but the shaking abruptly stilled, and the cave went deathly quiet.

Then Twilight growled as a familiar voice suddenly spoke.

“You have all faced the magic and come out unbroken. You have passed the first stage,” the croaking voice echoed through the cave. “The second stage still remains. Survive and we will collect the chosen downstream at the crystal waters.”

“Good luck! I can’t wait for you to finish,” the other voice said excitedly, and Twilight saw Warriors flinch.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Legend growled, and Twilight saw Sky’s claws slide out.

“Return us to our normal bodies!” Warriors shouted, the whinny echoing off the walls.

“I don’t think she can understand you,” Wild pointed out, then raised himself to his hind legs, showing off the sword-shaped patch of white on his belly. “Here— RETURN US TO OUR NORMAL BODIES YOU CULTY FREAKS!”

There was no reply.

“I doubt she liked being called a freak,” Time said dryly.

“Yeah, probably not. But still. Rude,” Legend sniffed. “Guess we’ll just survive phase two then.”

“We need to find the others,” Twilight spoke up, unable to keep the worry from his voice. “Now.“

“She said we all survived the magic though, doesn’t that mean they’re all okay?” Wild spoke up, and Sky’s tail flicked worriedly.

“She didn’t say anything about other dangers, though.”

As if summoned, a monster’s howl rang through the tunnels, and everyone stiffened, heads turning toward the sound.

“Wild, Legend, on Twilight’s back, Sky, you sit on Time, we’ll save the most time,” Warriors said quickly, and Legend helped Wild scramble up onto Twilight’s back, Sky carefully moving to sit on Time’s. “I’d... take one of you, but I don’t know how steady I can keep myself.”

“I’ve got them,” Twilight reassured, noticing the frustration on Warriors’ face. Warriors met his gaze, and Twilight lowered his head, ears flicking down. An apology for earlier.

Warriors looked at him a moment, then nodded back, apologizing as well.

Twilight breathed out, a little of the nauseating emotions rolling around in him easing a bit. He may be tired, cold, hungry, in pain and worried, but that was no excuse to take it out on Warriors.

They needed to work together to get out of this mess.

They all rushed off, Warriors having trouble going at a pace much faster than a walk, but pushing himself anyway. That had been a victorious sort of monster cry, and they didn’t have time to waste. Even if Warriors kept tripping on his hooves and barely catching himself.

“So,” Wild said after a minute, and Twilight flicked an ear to show he was listening. “How come you and the old man are wolves while the rest of us are... everything else?”

“I was wondering that too,” Legend spoke up. “...I still think it’s beyond unfair.”

“I don’t know why,” Twilight admitted. “Your form says something about your person, they reflect your spirit... or it does in my case. Even though the circumstances are weird, I’m guessing it’s the same for the rest of you. I guess mine and Time’s just happen to be similar.”

“And I’m a squirrel,” Wild grumbled, and Twilight sighed.

“Yeah. Squirrels aren’t so bad though. They’re hardy, smart, good at climbing, jumping... besides, we can’t all be unicorns,” Twilight pointed out as he hopped over a rock, and Wild and Legend both let out small huffs of laughter.

“I guess not. Still pretty strange there’s so much variety,” Wild hummed. “I would’ve guessed we’d all be wolves.”

He was quiet for several seconds, and Twilight turned his attention back to navigating through the dark cave.

“...Wait a second, if our animal forms reflect us, and Legend is a bunny—”

“Don’t you dare finish that thought.”

Wild chittered out a laugh.

His amusement faded when another snarl echoed through the caves though, and Twilight exchanged a glance with Time, trotting even faster. If anyone was hurt because they couldn’t get to them in time, Twilight didn’t know what he would do.

The green rocks increased in frequency around them, the darkness of cave a bit less intense. Twilight could hear water now, and regular grumbles and snorts that sounded like monsters. Time caught Warriors when he tripped again, and they all ran down the sloping passageway.

They turned a corner, and Twilight’s eyes went wide.

An underground stream flowed in front of them, wide, but fast, water a crystalline blue so bright it looked unnatural. More of those green rocks were scattered in and around the water, and though Twilight couldn’t see colors the best as a wolf, he could tell the mix of them was rather pretty.

But more important than the water or rocks was the group of moblins on the other side, one dragging a motionless deer behind it, another trying to bat away something running around by its feet.

“Hey!” Wild shouted, and leapt off of Twilight’s back, rushing over to the stream and attempting to hop across the rocks. His paws skidded on the slippery stone, but he managed to hang on and keep going. Twilight barked for Legend to hold on, and jumped into the water, quickly swimming across.

The water was achingly cold, but Twilight ignored it and Legend’s small squeak of dismay, paddling as fast as he could. The current wasn’t too fast for him, and Twilight leapt onto the shore right as a moblin kicked the small figure at its feet, making it squeal in pain.

Whoever it was went flying, and Twilight lunged for the moblin, teeth bared. Legend clung to his fur as he bowled the moblin over, and Twilight heard Time snarl as well, a different monster screeching in pain.

The disgusting tang of monster blood got in his mouth as he snapped at the moblin, but Twilight didn't let go until it let out a dying gurgle and went limp. He raised his head, watching Time struggle with his own moblin, Sky trying to help where he could, and also saw Warriors hurriedly trying to cross the water beside Wild.

Nobody had reached the moblin dragging the deer by the leg though, and Twilight whirled towards it, leaping at the beast with his fangs bared.

It saw him coming, and dodged his lunge to its neck, Twilight’s teeth closing around its arm instead. It snarled in anger as it dropped the deer, then raised a large club above its head, eyes glinting maliciously. Twilight knew he wouldn’t be able to move in time to avoid it, but then Legend leapt off his back, attaching himself to the moblin’s face and scratching and kicking at it furiously.

It screeched, and Twilight bit it on the wrist, making it drop its weapon. The moblin gave its head a violent shake and Legend went flying, but the opening was what Twilight needed to leap forward and finally bury his teeth in its neck.

He heard a splash behind him, fear ratcheting into his throat, but he couldn’t let go until the moblin fell still and it was stubbornly refusing to do so.

Come on, die already! Twilight thought with a snarl, abruptly twisting his head to the side.

A sickening crack rang out, and the moblin finally fell still, its tongue lolling. Twilight felt a lurch in his stomach at the more violent instinct he’d given into, but he swallowed it back and spat blood from his mouth.

He turned back to the water, and felt a quick flicker of relief as he saw Time standing over Legend's limp form, viciously attacking anything that came nearby. There were only three moblins left now, and Warriors was attempting to handle the other two, Wild goading them on and distracting them while Warriors attacked with his hooves and horn.

Which just left the question of where Sky and the other animal had gone.

Twilight whined anxiously, looking around the bloody shore for any sign of them. There was a lot going on, but he was sure that he would’ve noticed one or the both of them being hurt.

Twilight suddenly saw splashing, and he hurried over to the water, ears pricking as he saw a lithe shape struggling towards the shore, Sky’s large ears visible beside it. Twilight leaned way out, prepared to jump in if necessary, and when both heads dipped below the water, Twilight quickly splashed in and gently snatched them both by the scruff.

He dragged them to shore and set them down, then frantically sniffed the both of them, Sky's scratches reopened, the other animal's tail bleeding.

“Are you two okay?” Twilight barked urgently, and the lithe, creamy colored animal nodded shakily as he scooted closer to Sky.

“I’m good,” Wind’s voice chirped tiredly from it, turning his head so that Twilight got a good look at the swirl of blue on his head and back. “Or good enough. This... is so weird.”

“Yeah,” Twilight agreed, then turned his attention to Sky, the poor remlit panting with exhaustion in a soggy heap on the ground. “You good buddy?”

“Give... me... a sec...” Sky coughed, a shiver running through him.

Twilight nodded, and glanced back at the battle just in time to see a moblin charging for them, eyes crazed.

Wind squealed in alarm and Twilight leapt to intercept the monster, snapping at its neck. Somehow it managed to dodge the attack, and abruptly slammed its club into his side, making Twilight yelp in pain.

He was knocked to the ground, but despite the pain he got back up almost instantly. The moblin was running for Sky, and a feral snarl escaped Twilight as he leapt back at the moblin again. This time he managed to knock it off-balance, and Twilight and the moblin went sprawling to the ground, snarls and the snapping of teeth ringing through the cave as they struggled.

Twilight ignored the sharp ache ringing up his side and focused only on taking down the moblin that had been charging for Wind and Sky. It gave as good as it got, and Twilight was already scratched and kicked and sorely aching when the moblin suddenly raked its claws into his muzzle.

A sharp sting ripped across his face, and Twilight yelped in pain as he reeled back, tears welling in his eyes.

“Twilight!”

Something snapped in Twilight, and despite the sharp pain, he lunged back in again, snapping ferociously at the moblin’s neck. He clawed and tore and shook the monster under him, and it wasn’t until something pressed against his side and shouted his name that Twilight realized the moblin had gone still, and it was silent in the cave once more.

Twilight stumbled back, panting as blood dripped from his face and mouth, staring at the ripped-up moblin below him. It was barely recognizable, and bile rose in his throat, shame and disgust slamming into him. Something suddenly butted gently against his side, and Twilight wearily raised his head, seeing Time looking at him with alarm in his eye.

The older hero was gently supporting him, and Twilight wondered why before he suddenly realized his legs were trembling.

“I’m okay,” Twilight said finally, sitting down with a whine at the pain in his side and face. At Time’s incredulous look, Twilight huffed. “Seriously, I am. Nothing’s broken, just bruised, I can tell.”

“Bruised ribs are no joke,” Warriors said as he walked by, but he didn’t stop to bother Twilight about it further. He was making his way over to the deer, who was still lying ominously still on the ground. Legend at least had stirred nearby, but he looked a little dazed, a paw held close to his chest.

Fear lurched through him and Twilight struggled back to his feet, Time still supporting his side, and he walked slowly over to Legend and the deer.

Time didn’t further question his injuries, but Twilight could feel his gaze on him as they made a brief detour for Twilight to wash some of the blood from his mouth.

I get it old man, you’re worried.

Twilight swallowed, the taste of blood still in his mouth.

I am too.

They made it to where Warriors had gone, and Twilight sat down with a huff, the others all gathered around in a loose circle. Twilight looked around at them all, bloody, disturbed, weary and damp, and lowered his head down to rest on his paws.

Are we anywhere close to getting out of here?

Twilight breathed out slowly, and tilted his head to look at the deer, a light brown and with a few speckles of pale green scattered around on his back and face. Warriors knelt beside him, and gave the deer and Legend both as much of a look-over as he could.

Wind scampered past, his feet making little paps on the floor, and he sniffed at the deer, then looked fearfully at Warriors.

“Is Hyrule okay?” he asked, fur still a little damp.

“Yes, Hyrule is okay,” a voice groaned, and Twilight turned to see the deer raise its head, blinking dizzily. “Ow.”

"Traveler!" Legend and Wind said at the same time, both looking relieved.

“Careful,” Warriors warned, but Hyrule shifted around anyway, moving like he was going to stand up.

He immediately toppled over when he tried, his hooves going everywhere, and Wind let out a sympathetic little noise. Hyrule blinked, attempting to correct himself, and when he failed, stared up at the near zoo standing around him.

“Um. So why do I have four feet and feel like I got doused in dark magic?” Hyrule asked, sounding surprisingly unconcerned. “Also... why’s there a unicorn just standing there?”

“That’s me,” Warriors said grumpily, and Hyrule blinked.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Weird cult ladies, we were dumped in a cave, dark magic stuff,” Legend summarized from where he'd moved to sit beside Sky, and Hyrule nodded, accidentally hitting his antlers on a rock.

“Ow. Yeah... I remember now. I thought I heard Wind when we fell, and I got up to go find him, but then I felt all that dark magic and blacked out,” he reported with a scrunch if his nose. “And now I’m a... deer?"

“Looks like it,” Warriors said, and Twilight heard the grim smile in his voice. “Welcome to the hoof club.” Hyrule looked around, then blinked, staring at the eclectic pile of animals gathered near Sky. "...Is that rabbit wearing a vest?"

Warriors snorted out a laugh, and then attempted to give Hyrule a crash course in who was who, and also how to walk with hooves. While they stumbled around, Twilight took the opportunity to look around at everyone else, making sure they were all still accounted for. Time was beside him still, a few scratches on his leg, some blood staining his muzzle. Legend and Wild were huddled beside Sky, trying to warm him up while Legend nursed his injured paw, and Wind and Warriors were cheering Hyrule on as he tried to raise himself up on wobbly legs.

That meant the only one missing now was Four.

Twilight looked at the stream, remembering the croaky voice’s mention of water. The exit must be somewhere near here if they were going to be... collected, but they couldn’t leave without Four.

Where could he be?

“...okay, so I know Twilight and Time are the wolves,” Wind said, and Twilight looked back to see him moving to sit next to Sky as well. “Wild’s... a thing? Furry thing?”

“A squirrel,” Wild sighed. “And Warriors is the unicorn, Sky is the cat thing I forget the name of, Legend is the rabbit,” he said with a snicker, and Legend glared at him. “And you're a... I actually have no idea what you are.”

“He's an otter,” Legend said grumpily, attempting to tie his vest into a sling with one arm. “They swim around and eat clams.”

“What’s a clam?” Wind asked.

“Shellfish.”

“That’s not very nice of him,” Hyrule said as he wobbled over, and Wild and Wind joined in on his laughter while several of the others rolled their eyes.

“Enough goofing off, we still need to find Four,” Twilight spoke up, and everyone turned to look at him. "And any ideas on how we're going to deal with these witches or whatever they are?"

"We head downstream and see what happens I suppose," Time sighed. "Our smithy must have heard that message too, he’ll know where to go."

"He could be hurt though," Wind chirped worriedly, rubbing a paw over his whiskery cheek.

"And what if he was unconscious somewhere and we missed him?" Legend added.

"Twilight or the old man would've smelled him though, wouldn't they?" Warriors pointed out. "Twilight's been looking for scents this whole time, surely he would've gotten some sign of him."

"Wait, what if he got turned into a fish or something?" Wind suddenly gasped, looking at the water. "What if he's down there and—"

"Quiet!" Sky suddenly shouted in a croaky voice, his wide ears held out.

All of them went silent, and Sky swiveled his ears around, looking ruffled, but a little less like a drowned rat as he carefully sat up. Twilight pricked his ears too, and for a moment, all anyone heard was the noise of the stream rushing by, and blood and water dripping softly from wounds.

Then Twilight heard a pained cry so soft he could barely make it out.

"That was Four," Sky gasped, obviously able to make it out better than him. "He... wait."

He pricked his ears, and then his eyes went wide.

"I can hear those women, they have Four!"

Twilight jumped to his feet, biting back a whine of pain as his side sparked angrily. "Then we need to go help him, come on!"

“We can’t just rush in there without a plan,” Warriors whinnied, stomping a hoof. “Rancher you’re injured, Hyrule can barely walk, Sky practically drowned, we need a plan if we’re going to be able to—”

“Then I’m going by myself!” Twilight snarled, and whirled around and took off, ignoring the others’ shouts and cries to come back.

Twilight’s paws pounded against the stone as the others’ voices faded behind him, every step sending a jolt up along his injured side. Blood was drying on his face, sticky and uncomfortable, but Twilight only ran faster, listening for any more signs of Four.

He knew he would need the others’ help. He knew he wouldn’t be able to take them on by himself, and Twilight especially knew he was being incredibly stupid by running off alone.

But he didn’t care.

Every moment could matter for Four.

[mimefish]

"that creeper must've been sitting on my face when he blew up!"

[lechelechaa]

Q hago pa mantener viva la cuenta?🦓

[watcherglowcloud]

harlan guthrie stop writing the freakiest lines for yourself to act out. you’re actually not scaring the hoes and that’s part of the problem

[queenarahbo]

Everyone Starts Somewhere

How Amethio came to stay with the Rising Volt Tacklers.

Part 1 of Found Family

Whumptober Prompts Filled: Day 2: Trust issues Day 3: Set up for failure Day 15: Childhood trauma Day 17: Nowhere else to go Day 26: Nightmares - Breakfast table Day 31: Asking for help

Amethio awoke to the oppressive fatigue that weighed heavily on his body and mind. Relief washed over him as he realized he wasn’t dead. But the relief was short-lived as a sharp ache pierced his chest, making it hard to breathe. His lungs burned for air, an excruciating sensation that surpassed anything he had ever experienced. His breathing was slow and shallow at first, but as he began to wake, it started to quicken.

“Are you finally awake?”

Amethio tensed at the voice, which grated on his nerves. That answered the question of where he had ended up. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that the white-haired man was sitting to his left. “Friede,” he sighed, but it quickly turned into a coughing fit that shook his entire body. He clenched his teeth as Friede effortlessly lifted him into a sitting position.

“Woah there. Take it easy.”

Amethio concealed his pain behind a stoic expression and finally opened his eyes, dabbing at them with his sleeve. He fixed a piercing glare on his rival before attempting to speak. However, this only triggered another coughing fit. His throat was so dry…

“Drink this. It will help.”

He eyed the bottle of Gatorade with suspicion. There was no way he would accept anything from the Rising Volt Tacklers. It would be so simple to poison a colored drink like that.

“The seal is intact. I figured you wouldn’t trust us.”

Friede seemed to pick up on the obvious distrust. Amethio turned his glare back on Friede before taking the bottle and checking the seal himself. It seemed fine. He twisted the cap and heard the crack of the plastic seal as his confirmation. Fine. So Fride wasn’t trying to poison him this time. He took a sip, relishing silently at the relief it brought his throat, and looked back to Friede as he began talking once more.

“Mollie is in town getting supplies. Try resting until she gets back. You're hurt pretty badly."

Like hell. Amethio would sooner die than stay on this ship. He was in no shape to escape, however, he knew that much. His ankle was wrapped tightly in a cast. That seemed to be a tolerable pain compared to the stabbing from his ribs that only got worse as he coughed. His entire body ached really.

"Amethio, you know you can trust us." Friede huffed before falling into the chair next to the bed "You are hurt. Let us help you."

"You are the last person I want to spend any time around," Amethio growled. Deep down he knew Friede was right. With his ankle broken, there was no way he could escape the Explorers. Especially without his Pokemon. He was lucky enough to have gotten away with the injuries that he had. If it wasn't for the Rising Volt Tacklers he would likely be dead now. Speaking of…he hadn't heard from Conia or Zir since they were separated before the fight. Were they alive? If Hamber had anything to say about it, probably not. They would likely be tortured for information despite not helping him escape. Had they been given the chance he knew they would have helped him. That was all the more reason to get out of here. He needed to help them. If he could get there maybe he could save them. "I'm not staying here."

"Well if you can find your Pokemon and get off the ship then you are welcome to leave." Friede rolled his eyes "But we both know you aren't going anywhere."

"You can't keep me here."

"And we aren't. Whatever stupid suicide plan you are working up should be put on hold until you can actually walk. We will keep your Pokemon safe. Don't worry about them."

Amethio thought Friede looked like he had more he wanted to say, but before the other man could continue he was interrupted by a pink-haired woman strolling into the room.

"Right now this isn't up to you. As Friede said, when you can walk you are free to leave. None of us are too keen on you sticking around anyway." She said before turning back to her computer, no longer interested in the conversation at hand.

"Woah, hang on!" Friede shot to his feet "Amethio is welcome to stay if he wants to. We are on the same side now."

"We will never be on the same side, Friede," Orla said from the doorway. She crossed her arms as she leaned against the wooden frame.

Friede turned to face his mechanic with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to argue again but thought better of it when Murdock gave him a look from behind Orla.

" You have to think of the bigger picture. How would Liko feel about this?" Mollie chimed back in though she didn't turn to face the others.

"Well then, why don't we ask her?" Friede huffed. He couldn't believe that his crew could be so cold. Sure, Amethio had never been a friend exactly, but he was someone in need of help. They helped people. It's not like he was suggesting that they make him a member of their crew. Then again…

"If you are going to keep me here would you mind taking this argument somewhere else?" Amethio glared at the small crowd in the room. He really didn't feel like listening to this any longer. Friede was no captain he would follow. The man was far too reckless and clearly didn't have control over his crew. They didn't follow his orders without question the way Conia and Zir followed him. He let his eyes flutter closed, still fully alert to the people around him, and focused on the footsteps fading from the room. Good, at least they listened to him. Once the room was empty, however, Amethio suddenly felt the weight of his injuries. Finally succumbing to the drowsiness he began to drift.

Amethio was in the training hall of the Explorers’s base. He had just received his partner from Master Gibeon. He had not been expecting the Charcadet for his birthday. He would have been elated to get a Pokemon finally under normal circumstances. Amethio wasn't living in normal circumstances. After his parents died he was taken in by his grandfather. He knew he should be grateful. He knew he should. He had a roof over his head.

"That's our pampered little Amethio." Spinel glared at the aforementioned boy as Sango cackled wildly.

"He's always getting special treatment. He's nothing special." Spinel rolled his eyes before turning and disappearing down the hall.

Amethio just pretended he didn't hear the older kids. He was going to start training with Hamber now. He could finally be useful to his grandfather. He turned around as Hamber's voice reached his ears.

"I am very disappointed in you, Amethio." Hamber scolded coldly "I had higher expectations of you."

"I'm sorry," Amethio replied bitterly. This wasn't his fault. Spinel had lied to him. If he had the proper information then he would have been able to complete his mission without incident. He could hear the older kid snickering from the door. Amethio ground his teeth together. "I will do better next time." That's right. This was after Spinel had sabotaged his mission. He blinked. The room was suddenly different.

Amethio was standing back in the training room. Hamber was staring down at him. Dusknoir's eye glowed eerily behind his trainer. He couldn't let Hamber down again. He turned his attention back to his Pokemon as they battled against each other. He flinched as Ceruledge was unable to dodge in time. He had failed too many times. His partner wasn't weak. He was.

"Useless. Go again."

Right. He was useless. He was a waste of Hamber's time. He was a failure. Hamber's voice was overshadowed by a ferocious roar before the glass shattered. Amethio found himself staring up wide-eyed at the black Rayquaza he so desperately chased.

Amethio bolted upright with a stifled scream, his eyes darting wildly around the room. This place wasn’t familiar. This place wasn’t safe. He had to get out of here. He let his instincts take over and he climbed out of bed. The movements of his muscles ached horridly and he clenched his teeth together. The haze of the nightmare clung persistently in his mind. He restless shifted around until he found another tolerable position. He didn't sleep again. The anxiety the nightmare caused was too much for his exhausted brain to handle. He tossed and turned as the light slowly filled the room. He counted the time as the sun shone brighter and brighter. Eventually, Mollie returned to the infirmary to check on him with Friede close behind her. He didn't say anything as the doctor checked his vitals and gave minimal answers to her questions. "I have to leave. I can't stay here anymore." He finally spoke up.

“Well. You really don’t have many choices right now, do you?” Friede chuckled lightly “You are in no shape to go off on your own and even if you were you are being chased by the Explorers now. You wouldn’t stand a chance on your own.”

“I will manage.” Amethio growled “Now return my Pokemon.”

“Nah. I don’t think so. Why don’t you rest here and we can talk about it later?”

“Friede’s right. You have nowhere else to go.” Mollie chimed in.

She didn’t look away from the computer and her tone was disinterested. Amethio wasn’t sure how she really felt about all this. He knew that he wasn’t the only one with trust issues though. Friede was the only one on the ship who was giving him the time of day. Mollie did so because Friede told her to.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I found this. I figured you would want it." Friede offered a small piece of folded paper to Amethio who took it with hesitation. Friede was able to see the cracks in Amethio's mask. The kid wasn't as good at hiding things from him as he thought he was. He watched the visible distress and rage that spread across his face as he read over the letter.

Amethio stared at the paper in his hands. It was taking everything in him to keep his emotions in check. Hamber and Gibeon had never intended for him to succeed in his mission to retrieve the pendant from Liko. From the beginning, he was meant to fail.

"You okay over there, kid?" Friede looked up from his phone with concern. "Is it something you want to share with the class?"

"No." Amethio bit back sharply "I would prefer it if you would leave me alone now." He had nowhere to go now. He was completely alone. His family, no, the people he thought were his family, had betrayed him. He looked up when Friede sighed.

"I already read it."

"You did what?" Amethio whipped his head towards the older man. He reached out, struggling to find his balance as he moved, and let his hand fly at Friede. He caught his hand with ease. Friede kept his hand wrapped around Amethio's as he stood from the chair.

"Did you really think I was going to let you have something from the Explorers without reading it first?" Friede asked seriously. He waited for Amethio's head to shake before continuing "I've said from the beginning that you can stay here. You will be safe with us."

Amethio couldn't think of a response. He let his hands clench around the paper, creasing it in the process and, sighed. He and Friede stayed like that, neither of them daring to speak, until Friede finally broke the silence.

"Do you want to go down to eat? If you aren't feeling up to it then I can have Murdock bring something up to you later." Friede stared at the reluctant teen for a long moment before sighing in resignation. He wasn't going to get an answer. "Have it your way." He turned to leave but paused when he heard Amethio's stomach grumble loudly. He smirked to himself before looking over his shoulder with an amused "Sure you don't want food?" He found Amethio to be amusing and teasing him was going to be his new favorite pastime. He could practically feel the embarrassment radiating from the kid. His smirk transitioned to a soft smile when Amethio nodded his head. He helped him sit and offered out the crutches Mollie had left for him. He stuck close as they navigated the halls in case Amethio lost his balance. That was a real possibility with how unsteady he seemed. Then again who knows the last time the kid was able to rest or eat properly?

As Amethio shuffled into the large room he suddenly felt more awkward than he had probably ever felt. All eyes were on him. He did his best to keep his appearance up, but deep down he knew it was useless. In their eyes, he was just a stubborn teenager who was refusing help. His ankle ached worse as he tried to sit on his own. He ignored the annoyed sigh from Mollie. The silence in the room hung heavily. It wouldn't have made him uncomfortable if he didn't know how loud everyone normally was.

"Fine." Amethio mumbled, his amethyst eyes firmly trained on the floor as he softly broke the silence “For now.” He could feel the heat in his cheeks and desperately hoped no one else could see it. It was bad enough that he had to ask others for help. "I will stay here if you will allow it. Just…for now anyway." He grimaced as the words left his mouth. They had plenty of opportunities to kill him. If they wanted him dead he would be dead. He chanced a glance around the room. Friede looked relieved that he was agreeing to stay. Liko seemed hesitant about his decision. Everyone else shared a mixed look of frustration and distrust. That was fair, Amethio supposed. He wasn't their favorite person in the world and up until now, he had been fighting them about staying. The silence was dragging on. He shifted in his chair uncomfortably. To his surprise, it was Murdock who spoke first.

"Well, if you are going to stay here I need to know if there are any foods you are allergic to."

Amethio simply stared at him. Was he really supposed to give that information up so easily? He shot a look at Friede who simply nodded. This was crazy. These people were the last ones he wanted to know about any potential weaknesses.

"I would prefer not to kill you by mistake." Murdock rolled his eyes. "But I guess it makes no difference to me if you want to keep it to yourself."

Amethio turned his attention back to the chef. That logic was sound enough. He wasn't going to be able to cook until his ankle healed. He took a steadying breath before replying "Tree nuts." He felt his face grow hot as Friede laughed. He was about to find something to throw, but Mollie beat him to it.

"Shut up!" She hissed.

Murdock took that moment to nod seemingly in thought. He looked at Friede and said, "I think we can manage that without too much trouble."

"See!" Friede moved behind Amethio and dropped his hand on his shoulder "Everything will be fine. You are welcome to stay here as long as you want.” Friede ruffled Amethio’s hair, which earned him a smack.

"Don't touch me so freely!" Amethio growled as he recoiled with a glare. He swallowed the panic that surged through him as the feeling of Friede's touch lingered. He suppressed a shiver and sat up a little straighter.

"Sorry?" Friede scratched his head "Didn't think that would bother you."

"Exactly. You didn't think." Amethio growled. He was beginning to regret his actions. Amethio huffed and turned away. He wasn’t safe yet, but for now, he could at least rest.

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

The Curious Disappearance of Lady Henriette Woolahan (Part 2)

Diedrich and Vincent are investigating a (stupid) case for the queen. After a ridiculously long time... here I am with the second part of this fic!!! To upturn my own planning again, this fic will be a three-parter now because I had far too much fun writing this part...^^' Again, though this fic is part of my Watchdog of the Queen series, it can be read without knowing the main fic (or any of the other instalments)! The first part can be found here, and the whole fic is also on AO3.

London, England, United Kingdom – August 1871

For a moment, the world was perfect. Vincent was fast asleep and could not bombard Diedrich with a morbid topic he had recently studied. The sun was shining, the sky free of clouds, and the temperature pleasant; the London Season really took place during England’s best weather period. And they were on the way to the townhouse. Silence, good weather, an evening off – everything was perfect.

Like a fool, Diedrich lulled himself into a false sense of security. Still, nothing was ever perfect in the vicinity of Vincent Phantomhive, and reality crashed down on him when he realised that the hansom cab hadn’t moved a centimetre in the last ten minutes.

Swearing under his breath, Diedrich slightly opened the carriage door and asked the driver what was going on. He had no idea; he only knew that something was obstructing the traffic. With an annoyed sigh, Diedrich sank back in his seat. Fifteen minutes later, the cab was still perfectly immobile. Cab and carriage drivers as well as annoyed passengers and curious passersby investigated the origin of the odd blockage and passed it along by word of mouth. By the time the reason reached Diedrich, it had turned into a mess:

Diedrich had to hear and accept many ridiculous things in his life ever since he had met Vincent Phantomhive. Still, under no circumstance, would he ever believe that the world’s largest family of ducks had been waddling across the street when the ground suddenly gave away underneath them, and that people were now frantically trying to rescue the poor and highly uncooperative little creatures – even if it meant bringing a good portion of London’s traffic to a standstill.

When there was no improvement nearly an hour later, Diedrich dropped his head in his hands and inhaled deeply. Then, he reached out and tipped on Vincent’s shoulder. “Phantomhive, time to wake up.”

But Vincent didn’t.

Diedrich shook him, snipped against his head, and loudly clapped his hands together in front of his face. Nothing worked, and coldness ran up Diedrich’s spine. Numbly, he checked Vincent’s pulse – and sighed in relief when he felt his heartbeat.

But that relief lasted only a moment. No matter how exhausted Vincent must have been, he would have woken up or at least stirred a little when Diedrich had shaken him. Something was wrong, and Diedrich wracked his brain until one theory manifested itself in his mind: Vincent had drunk Undertaker’s tea! What if Undertaker had put anything in it? The mortician would never do anything to jeopardise Vincent’s life and health, but it would not be beyond him to give Vincent a sleeping tincture to annoy Diedrich.

Especially if three cakes and a plate of biscuits had to be delivered safely.

Diedrich pinched his nose and slowly counted from ten downwards. Zehn, neun, acht… Perhaps Undertaker had even trained that duck family to wreak havoc in London today?

When he had calmed down a bit, Diedrich gave Vincent one more shake, but he still did not react. Cursing Undertaker, Diedrich climbed out of the carriage before he lifted Vincent out and carried him on piggyback. When Vincent slept secured on his back – he was lighter than Diedrich had expected – Diedrich grabbed two boxes with each hand. His drill sergeant would be very proud of him if he could see him now.

Then, fuelled by annoyance and irritation, Diedrich set out to walk to the Phantomhive townhouse.

***

Thankfully, Tanaka, as the only sensible member of the Phantomhive household, had noticed the commotion that had taken over a good portion of London. Wanting to make sure that his master was not the cause of it, he had set out to investigate. Diedrich met him halfway to the townhouse and was very glad to be rid of some of the boxes. They must have looked odd to any passer-by as they carried dubious-looking boxes (of course, Undertaker had to place the cakes and biscuits in the weirdest boxes he could find and wrap them in see-through cloths; he could as well have stored them in urns) and a seemingly dead man through the city. The only reason they didn’t receive more attention was that everyone was captivated by the ducks. (Diedrich couldn’t believe they actually existed, though there weren’t as many as reported.)

When they finally reached the townhouse, Tanaka put the cakes and biscuits in the kitchen while Diedrich carried Vincent upstairs and threw him on his bed. Not even that woke him up. Whatever Undertaker had given him was insanely potent.

Diedrich wanted to collapse into an armchair and doze off right here and now but knew that it would not be comfortable. With the last bit of his strength, he dragged himself to his room and fell into his own bed – and into sound, dreamless sleep.

***

When he woke up the next morning, it felt as if he had only blinked. Diedrich was thoroughly confused when he checked the clock and it read that it was almost nine o’clock in the morning. At least, although his body had not recognised the time shift, it had rested surprisingly well. Diedrich felt great, though it did not lift his mood.

I cannot believe Undertaker did that to me, Diedrich thought while he got dressed. He wondered if Vincent was already up or not and was torn between wanting him to be asleep (peaceful breakfast) or awake (to make sure Vincent had not died during the night). In the end, Diedrich decided that both options would be fine and then headed downstairs.

Halfway to the dining hall, he spotted Vincent sluggishly making his way there too. Because Vincent was farther down the staircase, Diedrich quickened his pace a bit to catch up with him.

“Good morning, Dee,” said Vincent and yawned.

“Good morning,” Diedrich returned. “How come you are still sleepy when you have slept for about fourteen hours?”

“Did I really sleep that long?”

“Yes. And one hour of it you spent in the hansom cab – and another on my back.”

“Like a koala?”

“Like the world’s heaviest and most insufferable koala.”

“Breaking records while asleep, what an accomplishment, don’t you think?”

Diedrich glared at him. “I had to carry you back to the townhouse because you fell asleep in the cab and the traffic was stopped by a family of ducks! And I didn’t only have to carry you but the boxes of cakes and biscuits as well! You’re lucky that Tanaka came to look for us. Otherwise, I might have left you at the side of the street.”

“I did wonder how I ended up in my bed,” Vincent said absentmindedly.

Diedrich looked at him and asked slowly, “Have you always been such a heavy sleeper, Phantomhive?”

“No. I was just very, very exhausted,” Vincent returned in a tone Diedrich could not place but one that made him furrow his brows, nonetheless. “We moved around quite a bit yesterday, and I didn’t get much sleep the night before. Did you sleep well, Dee?”

“Yes, but –”

“That’s good!” Vincent interrupted him and pushed open the door to the dining room.

Although what Vincent had said sounded plausible, Diedrich didn’t believe he was right; no matter how exhausted, nobody would have fallen asleep that deeply. The whole situation made Diedrich uneasy, and with the words “I think Undertaker drugged you, Phantomhive” on his tongue, he hurried after Vincent. They did not get the chance to escape into the air though because Diedrich swallowed them as soon as he stepped into the dining hall and realised that they were not alone.

Her sheer appearance always disarmed him, ever since Diedrich had first met her during the cricket tournament’s celebrations in his first year at Weston College. Even then, despite her age, she had radiated authority, and her piercing gaze had only intensified as she had grown older. Now, although Francis Midford was casually sipping tea while sitting at the breakfast table, Diedrich felt the need to stand up a little straighter. Tanaka stood next to Francis (they must have been catching up beforehand), and Diedrich could have sworn his eyes glinted in amusement when he noticed Diedrich adjusting his posture.

“Franny!” Vincent exclaimed and hurried to his sister. “What a surprise!”

Seeing them side by side never ceased to baffle Diedrich. He hadn’t believed Vincent – who was, after all, a known liar – that eve of the tournament when he had told him that Francis was his sister. Diedrich could hardly believe it now, having known them for years and seen the dozens of childhood pictures Vincent liked to hold under his nose. (They were carefully curated and seldom showed their parents.) After all, the Phantomhive siblings were as different as day and night. Now, Vincent – having somehow managed to discard his sleepiness in his sister’s presence – was smiling and beaming while Francis put down her cup and glared at him.

“Why should it be a surprise? You are holding my cakes hostage, and I had to come to their rescue,” Francis replied and nodded to the chocolate cake in front of her; about a third of it was already gone. Diedrich supposed that the other cakes and biscuits were still in their boxes, ready to be transported to the Midford townhouse later.

“I’m surprised because you should rest after all – rest at home,” said Vincent. His words earned him another glare.

“I still have time until I’m put into confinement. And, at any rate, I’m not injured and can walk fine.” Francis placed a hand on her belly; the bump was barely discernible beneath her clothes. “I’m not the one who couldn’t wait though.”

“Deepest apologies to you and my little nephew or niece then,” said Vincent and bowed his head before he took place next to Francis. “Dee and I were very busy yesterday, and I didn’t get the opportunity to visit you.”

“I hope what kept you busy wasn’t the duck incident.” Francis raised an eyebrow at her brother. “That wasn’t your doing, was it?”

Vincent laughed. “No. I would have never subjected a family of ducks to such suffering.”

“I know that. I simply thought they might have put the traffic on a standstill because they were chasing after you. After all, you can be rather unlucky with animals at times. Recall Carrot…”

Vincent stiffened, and Diedrich asked, “Carrot?”

“We won’t explain Carrot,” said Vincent and Francis in never-before-heard perfect unison. It rather unsettled Diedrich.

“Well…” Diedrich said and cleared his throat. “At any rate, Phantomhive wasn’t even…” he began but Vincent cut him off by saying, “I wasn’t even on foot when the incident happened. Dee and I were in a carriage, on the way back from Undertaker’s.” With a flourish, Vincent pointed to Diedrich. “Fran, I hope you remember Diedrich? He was so kind to come all the way from Germany to visit.”

Diedrich crossed his arms in front of his chest and scowled at Vincent. “I haven’t come to England to visit you, Phantomhive. I accompanied my superior to an important meeting, and you found out and sent for me.”

“I see,” said Francis and mustered Diedrich. He stood up even straighter. “Good morning, Diedrich. It’s been a long while. If you have time before you need to return, Alexis would love to have you over.”

“I will try to make it work.”

Francis nodded and turned back to her brother. “Because you called Diedrich, I assume you are currently investigating a Watchdog case?”

Vincent gestured something to Diedrich. It took him an embarrassingly long time to realise that he was the only fool still standing (with exception of Tanaka, of course, who had to stand as a butler) and that Vincent was signalling him to join them at the table. Diedrich did, his nerves taut. Vincent smiled amusedly at him. Diedrich scowled at him and picked up a cup.

“You are right, Franny,” said Vincent then. “We’ve been investigating the curious disappearance of a duke’s daughter, Lady Henriette Woolahan. She has most likely run off with her lover.”

“I know that Duke Woolahan is in the House of Lords but since when does Watchdog business include running after lovesick fools?” asked Francis. Diedrich nearly choked on his tea. “Is everything all right, Diedrich?” she enquired.

“Yes,” he pressed out when he was out of danger. “I simply said the same thing a few days ago when Phantomhive told me about the mission.”

Vincent nodded. “An amusing repetition. ‘Since now, apparently.’ I can do it too, see?”

“If it was a simple elopement, surely Scotland Yard would have been able to handle it too?” Francis said. “Or is there something more sinister going on?”

“Very possible, though we cannot be sure yet,” Vincent told her, putting a cube of sugar into his tea and stirring it. “I suppose I and not the Met was tasked with locating Lady Henriette because her father being a prominent politician makes the matter more delicate than usual, and because Scotland Yard seems to have its hands full at the moment. They are currently looking for numerous people and have not come far with their investigations. Entrusting them with yet another missing person’s case would be, frankly, silly. Unless the Woolahans never want to see their daughter again, which is a possibility; you know how Old Harriet is, Franny.”

Francis nodded. “Mother said she’s always been that way.”

“This makes me wonder if Old Harriet is actually a twin or a triplet, maybe even a quadruplet – what a sensation! Only she ate all her siblings in the womb like sand tiger sharks do.”

Maybe it would have been better if Phantomhive had slept longer, thought Diedrich. “What a macabre thing to say in front of an expecting woman,” he said as nothing else he had in mind was passable enough to be voiced in polite company.

“Why? Franny told me all about adelphophagy when we were children,” replied Vincent. “When our parents took us to Paris in 1861, they found out that an aquarium would open in the Jardin zoologique at the Bois de Boulogne during our stay and promptly changed some of our plans to take us there. Fran was enthralled by the wet beasts and read every book she could find about them and read them aloud to us too, mostly to me because that is how it is when you have a sibling.”

Francis rolled her eyes. “As if you weren’t fascinated by the sea life too! You were simply too lazy to read yourself.” She looked at Diedrich. “He was an insufferable ten-year-old.”

“He is an insufferable twenty-year-old too,” Diedrich replied.

Vincent shrugged. “I’m simply consistent.

“Now, Franny, how receptive to grisly crimes are you today? I would love to hear your thoughts on this case, first partner.”

Francis chuckled. “Sure. I have nothing better to do anyway. But could I have some more tea first?”

With a bow, Tanaka refilled her cup. Vincent clapped his hands together, his blue eyes shining. “Brilliant. Franny, Lady Henriette vanished from her parental home five days ago, on the night from the 30th to 31st July. Her disappearance was first noticed in the morning of Monday the 31st: Her maid came to wake her and found Henriette’s room empty and her bed in too pristine a state for anyone to have slept in it in the recent past – and her mistress was not known to make her own bed. The hysterical maid, of course, alerted the Duke and Duchess who, in turn, called upon the help of Scotland Yard. The Met was to investigate the matter discreetly. They could not find out much before Henriette’s disappearance reached the ears of Her Majesty; someone must not have been discreet at all for this to have happened, but I digress.

“At any rate, the Met could only confirm that no one had broken into the Woolahan townhouse and kidnapped Henriette under great force before the case was ripped out of Randy’s claws and given into my hands. Henriette, thus, seems to have left on her own volition.

“All this – the alert, Scotland Yard’s investigation, and the case’s reassignment – happened on the same day which was endlessly amusing to me, less so to Randy, I suppose. The case’s silly nature could not even dampen my amusement as I wrote to Diedrich right after I received the Queen’s letter. Can you imagine, Fran, that Diedrich was in London for four days already when I sent him that letter, and he never came to see me or his only other friend in the world Alexis?”

“I have more friends, Phantomhive,” Diedrich interjected gruffly.

“I know your grandmother loves you, but that’s hardly relevant right now. Please greet her for me the next time you see her though and tell her that she can call me over for afternoon tea again at any time.”

“Wait – what? When did you meet my Oma, Phan-”

“Diedrich finally visited me the following day,” Vincent continued as if the last minute hadn’t happened. “After some persuasion, Dee agreed to help me out…

Diedrich turned to Francis. “He kept dunking his scones for far too long into his tea. He even dipped a sandwich into it.”

Francis sighed. “I might currently not be in the position to scold people over their eating habits, but…” She raised an eyebrow at her brother. “… I am with child and can be excused, and you aren’t, Vincent.”

“I just like my scones extra soft,” protested Vincent.

“And your sandwiches soaked?”

“And my sandwiches soaked. I can eat one like that right now to prove it to you…” Vincent reached for a cheese sandwich on the table. Instinctively, Diedrich slapped his hand away and pushed the plate away from him.

“Those are my sandwiches,” Vincent pointed out.

“No reason to maltreat them.”

Francis put her face in her hands. “Thank you. Now, I want to eat a soaked sandwich or two.”

Vincent burst into laughter. “Sorry, Franny, but my little niece or nephew seems to have fantastic taste already.” He grinned at Diedrich. “Hand over the plate, Dee. You wouldn’t want to deny an expecting woman her food, would you?”

Diedrich narrowed his eyes at him. “I hate you,” he hissed to Vincent as he passed Francis the plate of sandwiches. Having his eyes fixed on Vincent meant Diedrich didn’t have to watch Francis drown a perfectly fine sandwich; hearing it was torture enough already.

“Germans have such a fascinating way of proclaiming their affections for someone,” said Vincent.

“I can’t stand you.”

Vincent nodded. “Just like I was saying.

“Anyway, where was I again? Ah, right. After Diedrich agreed to help out, he very kindly spoke to Old Harriet so that I could interrogate the Woolahan staff in peace. From them, I could learn that Lady Henriette has become infatuated with someone. A maid – not the one who came to wake her mistress on that fateful morning but someone else – found Lady Henriette’s diary hidden under a pillow and learned that she has a mysterious beau who is a medical student. Because Henriette did not wish to make the matter easy for everyone, she did not write her beloved’s name a million times all over her diary’s pages as many people in love do. I’m sure Alexis must have written your name like a spell all over his notes after you beat him in that tournament, Fran.”

To Diedrich’s absolute astonishment, the tips of Francis’ ears turned ever the slightest bit red. “His secretary was very confused by the… additional notes he left on his documents, yes,” Francis imparted.

“As if I couldn’t like him more,” Vincent said with a nod. “Henriette, unfortunately, did not do that. Thus, her servants decided to christen her secret love ‘Maurice Enace.’”

“Menace? What a silly nickname,” said Francis while she stirred her tea with a sandwich. Diedrich did his best not to look her way – and to keep the contents of his stomach where they belonged.

“Right? After we went to the Woolahan townhouse, Dee and I visited Randy at Scotland Yard. He still hates us, Fran. I’ve been sending him a basket of fruit cakes every week for two months now, and he still hates us, can you believe that?”

“Did you bake them yourself, Vincent?”

Vincent paused. “Yes, but I’m using the recipe from Mother’s recipe book.”

“Which is Father’s German fruit cake recipe. German fruit cake is more of a bread than a cake, and you put cinnamon in it – Lord Randall is allergic to cinnamon.”

“He is?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

Vincent shook his head. “You can never truly know someone, huh?”

“Wait, Phantomhive can bake?” Diedrich enquired, puzzled.

“I wouldn’t phrase the question that way,” said Francis with a smile. “Rather, my brother knows how to combine ingredients, mix them up, and place the mixture into an oven.”

Vincent crossed his arms together. “My fruit cakes are all wonderful individuals.”

“Burned, over-sweetened, misshapen individuals with far too many candied citrus peels and too few currants, certainly.”

“I don’t think Randall took even a single bite out of these abominations,” said Diedrich. His face had become paler and paler with every word Francis had uttered regarding her brother’s baking “skills.” How could someone mess up a Stollen in such a horrid manner? But then we’re talking about Phantomhive, Diedrich suffixed in his mind.

“The man is still alive, so it is a given,” added Francis.

“I’ll include a strongly worded card the next time I send him a batch,” Vincent said with a nod. “One without cinnamon, of course.”

“The cinnamon’s not the only problem,” Diedrich remarked, but Vincent continued without paying him any mind. “Where were we again? Oh, right. Scotland Yard. When we were there, Randy’s men were a bit too easily persuaded into giving up information to people they’d never seen before. We just had to tell them we were brand-new plainclothes detectives, and they readily spilt everything. Makes you wonder if the Met has a staff problem and is currently accepting applications from anyone, but I’m digressing again.

“The chatty detectives of the Met told us that they’re currently investigating a string of serial murders. For the last couple of months, someone has been killing working-class and poor people. So far, they have murdered sixteen, and the only connecting factor between them is their low social status and the fact that their corpses could not be procured so far. When we went to Undertaker’s yesterday, I enquired whether they had ended up at his place or another funeral parlour, but he confirmed that they hadn’t. Lady Henriette also hasn’t found her way to a funeral parlour yet.”

“Why are you telling her this?” asked Diedrich and coated a scone with cream before he put strawberry jam on top. The proper way of eating these, he thought. “That case is not part of our case.”

Vincent smiled and looked at his sister, who tilted her head slightly as she returned the gaze. “Ah, I see,” Francis eventually said, making Diedrich blink in puzzlement.

“What do you mean?” he wanted to know, but Vincent waved his hand about and said, “You’ll understand eventually, Dee. You’re only an honorary brother as my fag after all; you will catch on.

“After our little visit to Scotland Yard, Dee and I went to a garden party hosted by the Bainsbridges. As you know, Rochelle is a friend of Henriette’s. Kitty was very helpful in getting us last-minute invites for that party. He’s sending his regards by the way, Franny. He also wanted me to pass on that he intends to write to you and arrange a visit.”

“Kit can come over anytime,” said Francis and held her cup out for Tanaka to refill it. “The further along I get, the less happy anyone gets that I go out or do anything besides lying or sitting down. It gets tremendously boring, and I haven’t seen Kit in a while, too.”

“The scheduling is mostly for him, I suppose. Little Kit’s very busy all the time after all.”

“Lady Francis, you know him?” Diedrich asked.

“Of course, she knows my fag. She knows you too, after all,” Vincent said before he rapidly continued, “Now, the garden party was absolutely exhausting to attend. Still, we found out that Lady Henriette’s friends are not very troubled about her sudden absence. Naturally, they were told a cover story, but they were not even sad she wasn’t with them. Merely Sophia Vanderbilt seemed intrigued by the fact that her friend had up and left without a word, as it is very unlike her. Beatrice Lawrence, however, only cried that her fiancé Oliver Breckenridge could not attend the party due to an illness…”

“… and Rochelle Bainsbridge only cared about throwing herself at Phantomhive,” continued Diedrich with a slight chuckle. “It was amusing to watch.”

“Oh, Rochelle.” Francis rolled her eyes. “She always asks about you, Vincent, whenever we happen to be at the same social function. It’s always very annoying.”

“Wait, you knew that she has her eyes out for me and never told me?”

“I thought you knew.”

“I didn’t until two days ago. I’m certain I’ve never even met her before too.”

Francis shrugged. “She might have seen you from afar once, and that is all it took. Or she heard about your wealth, title, and bachelorhood and decided you were good prey.”

“Or she’s a serial killer who knows I’m the Queen’s Watchdog, and now she wants to get close to me to stab me.”

“How are you two related again?” Diedrich said.

“When we were little, Vincent used to suggest that one of us – most likely he – was a changeling,” replied Francis matter-of-factly. “If faeries existed, this could be a good hypothesis, but they do not. As our mother would say, ‘there is nothing supernatural in the world.’”

“I still wonder if the true, human Vincent is just as happy with his faerie family as I am with you,” mused Vincent. His words made Diedrich shudder in a way he never had before; it was as if the bones in his body, no, even his very soul, were shaking too.

“For everyone’s sake, I hope there are no two Vincent Phantomhives,” Diedrich said at last.

“There is no need to conjure nightmares from this scenario,” meant Francis and then bit into one of her freshly soaked sandwiches. Diedrich felt nauseous.

“Come to think of it, Fran, as you seem more familiar with Henriette’s group of friends than I am,” said Vincent, “do you have any interesting insights regarding them?”

“I know that Sophia Vanderbilt likes gossip the most out of them,” Francis replied. “That’s why her friend’s sudden disappearance has piqued her interest. For that reason, and because they are close friends, I would also say that her observation that this situation – leaving without informing anyone – is completely out of character for Lady Henriette is a correct one. I also know that Beatrice Lawrence and Oliver Breckenridge are about to enter a marriage that will surprise them both, but not for good reasons.”

“Why?” asked Diedrich.

“Dee, you’re sounding like a nosy Nancy yourself right now,” remarked Vincent, amused. He leaned a bit closer to Francis. “But, really, why?”

“Beatrice is the heir to her uncle’s dukedom. Upon his passing, she will inherit a great title and great social standing; however, because of her uncle’s foolishness, she will not inherit any money,” explained Francis. “Her uncle is an impoverished nobleman because he has been and still is living well beyond his means. From what I have heard, Beatrice genuinely believes that Oliver is in love with her, but her mother has been pushing the couple together because the Breckenridge family may be untitled but is wealthy, and Oliver has his eyes on Beatrice because of her future title and the prestige that comes with it. Beatrice’s mother has also been hiding her brother’s financial ineptitude from the public; thus, not many know about it.”

“What a mess,” said Diedrich.

“Indeed.”

“That’s pretty tame,” remarked Vincent and plucked a strawberry from the fruit bowl. “Last Season, Lady Cassiopeia Trent and Lord Ezekiel Damyon wanted to wed, and their parents were vehemently against it, but did not want to give a clear explanation. Magnolia Royceston eventually managed to make their parents talk and found out that they opposed the marriage because they feared Cassiopeia and Ezekiel might be half-siblings. It’s not uncommon for noblemen and -women to do as they like after producing an heir and a spare after all, and the Lady Trent and the Baron Damyon apparently liked to frequent…”

“What stories you tell in the presence of a lady,” Diedrich scolded and interrupted Vincent with a red face.

“We were just talking about murder, multiple ones even,” Vincent reminded him and threw the strawberry at him. “If you are embarrassed, please say so instead of dragging my sister into your scolding.”

Diedrich narrowed his eyes at Vincent and caught the strawberry, but not without his face turning a slightly deeper shade of red. “You…”

In that moment, there was a soft knock on the door right before it flew open. Alexis Leon Midford strode into the room, perfectly combed and without a wrinkle or blemish on his clothes; still, he seemed rather dishevelled to Diedrich. This only changed the moment he laid eyes on his wife. He crossed the distance between them with surprising speed and wrapped his arms around her. “Dear, I’ve been looking for you!”

“Didn’t I leave a message that I would come here?” returned Francis with a smile on her face.

“Yes, but you only said you would pick up your cakes and biscuits, so I thought you would only be gone for a short while. It’s been hours.”

“I might have arrived too early. Vincent hadn’t even risen yet.”

“I don’t like this phrasing,” mumbled Diedrich.

“I’m sorry. I simply missed you,” Alexis said and loosened the embrace, but took hold of his wife’s hand. Diedrich felt thoroughly embarrassed seeing the loving, unguarded gaze that Alexis bestowed upon Francis and looked slightly away. “It was a horrendous three days.”

“I missed you too, dear,” Francis replied softly. “But we are not alone in this room.”

“Yeah, Dee, Tanaka, and I are also here,” said Vincent, his face propped on his hand and a wide smile plastered on his face.

At once, Alexis tore his gaze from his wife’s face and looked up, blinking as if he had only just noticed that he and Francis were indeed not the sole people in the dining room. “Vincent, Weizsäcker, Tanaka, good morning,” Alexis said, bowing his head. “I apologise for not greeting you immediately.”

“No offence taken, but please only kiss my sister when I’m not around,” replied Vincent, and Francis glared at him. “And we’re not at Weston anymore. You can call Diedrich by his given name, though I’m sure he prefers ‘Dee.’”

“I do not,” countered Diedrich.

“He loves it when I call him that.”

“I do not.”

“I am so glad you two get along so well,” Alexis said with such a serene expression on his face that Diedrich did not have the heart to tell him that no, they were not getting along at all, and that Diedrich was tricked and threatened into this position. While he knew that Francis was very dissimilar to her brother, he still could not fathom why Alexis willingly married Vincent’s sister. Not even a catastrophe of the highest order would be able to force Diedrich to accept becoming family with Vincent.

Francis patted her husband’s hand. “Alexis, dear, didn’t you want to borrow a few books from Vincent? Now that you are here, it is the perfect opportunity for you to get them.”

“Ah, right! Yes, I wanted to,” said Alexis.

“Right, I remember that…” Vincent said and jumped to his feet. “Come along, brother. I’ll get you what you’re looking for.”

With a few long strides, Vincent left the dining room. Alexis pressed a brief kiss on his wife’s head before he followed Vincent. Tanaka swiftly transferred the remnants of the breakfast table and the rest of Francis’ cake to a serving cart before he, too, exited the room.

It took Diedrich a moment to realise that he was now all alone with Francis. He didn’t quite know how it was possible, but he straightened his back even further.

“Diedrich,” Francis suddenly began, “how is my brother doing?”

Diedrich blinked at her, startled by the question. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, whether Vincent has been behaving even more ridiculously than usual.”

He mentally went through Vincent’s doings over the last few days – the stupid bet with Tanaka, dunking cucumber sandwiches in tea, blabbering something about an “Invi” (Diedrich was still uncertain if Vincent had spoken the truth then or not), hurrying them through the city to check every medical school – before he ultimately replied, “Not more than usual, no.”

“Are you sure? Vincent always unravels for about a month after the fact.”

Diedrich frowned. “‘For about a month after the fact’?” he asked right before his mind connected the dots: It was August 4 today. Vincent had told him that he started going through all the Dickens’ books and novellas in order about three weeks ago – he had been going through his mother’s Dickens collection ever since the fifth anniversary of her death on July 13.

His realisation must have been written all over his face because Francis only nodded. “Maybe you missed the worst of it. It has been almost a month already after all.”

“I didn’t even realise,” said Diedrich slowly. “I’ve been too focused on not trying to strangle him. No offence.”

“I’m his sister. You are justified.”

“And you?” Diedrich asked carefully. “How are you doing, Lady Francis?”

Francis looked at him for a moment before she said, “Better and worse. Better than Vincent in some respects; worse than him in others.” She laid a hand on her belly. “Please let me know if his behaviour shifts too much into the nonsensical, would you?”

Diedrich had no idea how he should be able to identify when Vincent crossed the line between “regular idiocy” and “frightening, unhealthy lunacy,” but he nodded and promised that he would, nonetheless. He could not reject any of Francis’ requests, especially not one like that.

The door swung open again a moment later. “All baked goods and books are packed and loaded up in the carriage,” Vincent announced as he entered the room. He walked straight to his sister and held out a hand to her. “I had to beat Alexis in kitsune-ken so that he would wait by the carriage, and I could be the one to pick you up and get you there.”

Francis took her brother’s hand and gave him a look. “Did you even explain the rules to him beforehand?”

“Of course.”

“Vincent.”

“I might have spoken very quickly, but he got the gist,” said Vincent and helped Francis to her feet.

“You could have just asked.”

“Under normal circumstances? Sure. After you two lovebirds hadn’t seen each other for three days because Alexis was away? No. I had to beat him three times in kitsune-ken until he relented. If we don’t hurry up, he might drive the carriage through the wall to get you, and I don’t have time for renovations right now.”

Francis sighed, but Diedrich could see the small smile on her lips.

“Though maybe I could change some of the tapestries – what do you think, Fran?” continued Vincent and hooked his arm through Francis’. He kept on rattling on about tapestry colours and patterns and whatnot as he led her out of the room and the townhouse. Diedrich followed the Phantomhive siblings with a heartbeat’s pause.

He and Vincent (his hair was now combed back; Diedrich had wondered when his sister would do that) waved Francis and Alexis goodbye and remained at the gate for a few more minutes after the carriage had left their sight. Then, Vincent clapped his hands together and said, “Now, it’s time to get back to work, Dee.”

***

Ten minutes later, Diedrich and Vincent (now in his regular hairstyle again) were sitting in the world's smallest hansom cab to get to Hyde Park Corner. They hadn’t been able to go through all the relevant medical schools yesterday, of course, and had to continue their search today. Diedrich did not look forward to it, but the sooner they resumed their investigation, the sooner they finished it too, and he was looking forward to that with great eagerness.

Like yesterday, Vincent and Diedrich invaded the closest cafeteria, hopped casually and quietly between the tables, kept their ears perked up for anything of importance, and ate a lot of food. St George’s Hospital Medical School ultimately did not give them any leads, no matter how much Vincent insisted that “every kind of conversation contains overt and covert useful information.” Diedrich had to disagree. Sometimes, conversations held no value at all, and you left a place with nothing but a stomach full of porridge and sandwiches and a head full of someone else’s idle talk about horse races and how Anthony Mallory stumbled and fell into a bucket filled with blood eels.

“I don’t know what you’re complaining about,” Vincent meant when they sat in yet another hansom cab to get to yet another medical school. At least, this cab wasn’t as tiny as the last one. “You just learned enough about horse races to speak about them without pause for twenty minutes. How is newly gained knowledge not useful?”

“It’s not useful when I didn’t want to have it in the first place,” Diedrich replied, regretting to have ever told Vincent about his meagre “findings.” “I do not care about horses.”

“I really want you to repeat that sentence to Her Majesty’s horsekeeper,” said Vincent with a chuckle. “I can already hear his response, ‘How could someone be so heartless as not to care for these gallant creatures?’ And then he would pat his beloved equine and get chewed on in return.”

Diedrich stared at him. “I can’t tell if you’re joking, but I hope you are.”

“I really don’t. Old John’s… a bit particular.”

Diedrich pinched the bridge of his nose. “For you to say that… You Englishmen are all ridiculous.”

“I think he’s a Scotsman, actually.”

“You Britons, then.”

Vincent nodded. “Now, you’ve thrown us all into the same unfavourable pot. Oh! We’re there.”

The cab halted, and they climbed out of it. In front of them rose the splotchy old building of St Bartholomew’s Hospital, and students and staff hushed over the campus like busy ants. None of them paid them much attention – Diedrich and Vincent were the perfect age to be legitimate students of this facility after all –, and they could make their way to the cafeteria with ease. There, they began their regular spiel: Each of them grabbed a tray, loaded it up with food, and then dispersed into the crowd, keeping their heads down and their minds and ears alert.

Diedrich dug into his shepherd’s pie (one that was surprisingly delicious despite having been prepared for a cafeteria) and listened to a group of students tease one of their friends about his fiancée. After a while, Diedrich got up and sat down at another table. Here, some people discussed the latest news regarding their anatomy class (they would get to dissect a body earlier than they had anticipated, and this both excited and frightened them), and others conversed about going boating tomorrow if the weather stayed as lovely as it was today. The shepherd’s pie was switched with pastries, one table with another, one useless – yes, useless – conversation with another. At some point, Diedrich spotted a blond, flashy man on the other side of the room who looked somewhat familiar, but his head was smoking with too many useless facts, and his stomach was too full of soup (he might have overdone it with six helpings of tomato soup) to remember who this particular ridiculous Briton was again. That man, even from afar, irritated him enough for Diedrich to accidentally sit down beside Vincent the next time he changed tables.

“Oh, Dee!” Vincent greeted him cheerfully. “Did the German military give you the power of mind-reading?”

Diedrich stared blankly at Vincent, wondering whether this counted as “more ridiculous than usual” or not. Before he could come to a conclusion, Vincent continued to speak: “I wanted to seek you out just now, but you sought me out first,” he explained. “From your expression, I suppose, if you gained mind-reading powers, they are only working subconsciously for now.”

“I don’t even want to know why you believe this to be possible,” replied Diedrich, and Vincent lifted his shoulders a little, “but if you wanted to come to me, does that mean we are done here?”

“If you sound a bit more excited, you might lose your citizenship,” Vincent said and got up. “But don’t worry, I know how to extinguish your excitement at once: We have one more medical school left. Let’s go.”

They finished their “cafeteria investigation” at the London Hospital Medical College. Diedrich had never chewed on sandwiches with such little enthusiasm before as in that place. Vincent’s words from earlier had truly done what he said they would and more.

A few hours later, Diedrich climbed sick and tired of medical school horror stories (“John Clarkson chopped off his finger!” “Benedict Woodlark fainted when they cut open a body and maggots crawled out!”) and random chit-chat (why was the weather such a popular conversational topic? he never understood this) into the hansom cab that would take him and Vincent back to the Phantomhive townhouse. Unlike Diedrich, Vincent seemed to be in the best mood and whistled to himself as if they hadn’t just wasted hours of their lives doing a completely asinine task. This way of conducting the investigation could have never borne fruit; why the hell had they even done it that way? Which idiots thought this could ever work?

“Why the long face, Dee?” Vincent enquired.

Diedrich shot him a dark look. “I should rather ask you why you aren’t making a long face!”

“Why should I mimic you?”

“Because today was a complete waste! We accomplished nothing!”

“Oh, did we?”

“I swear to God if you say ‘Every kind of conversation contains overt and covert useful information’ again…”

“You just did that yourself, Dee.”

Diedrich dropped his face in his hands. “You make me sick.”

“I do? Not the twenty-five bowls of soup, the fifty-two sandwiches, the six croissants, the nine helpings of shepherd’s pie…”

Diedrich looked up. “Did you honestly spend your time counting what I’ve been eating at all cafeterias?”

Vincent shrugged. “Little exercise for the mind on the side.”

“On the side?”

“I was obviously doing my main task – listening to the conversations around me – too.” Vincent tilted his head. “Why are you making that face now?”

“What face?”

“The one that looks like ‘I don’t believe you one bit, Vincent,’ of course.”

“First, I would never call you by your given name. Second, you are spot on: I don’t believe you,” said Diedrich. “There is no way you could have managed to simultaneously keep your focus on me and other people’s talks. You couldn’t even have been able to see me at times because we weren’t even seated close to each other!”

Vincent propped his chin on his hand and gazed out of the window. “It’s not that difficult,” he replied. “Whenever we travelled somewhere as a family, Francis and I would grow easily bored. Father suggested one day that we could count all the cows or something that passed by while we played a game. We did terribly at first, but we eventually got better at this. It trained our focus and attention very well. Because of Mother, Francis and I also did ‘glimpse into a room and then tell me how many red shirts there were or so’ a lot.”

“That still doesn’t sound true,” Diedrich insisted. “I’ll ask your sister to verify your words the next time I see her.”

“Believe what you want,” Vincent said with a wave of his hand. “Just like you’re choosing to believe that we haven’t accomplished anything today.”

“It’s the perfect truth that we…” Diedrich glimpsed out of the window and then tensed. “Wait, that’s not the way to your townhouse.”

Vincent grinned. “Took you long enough to notice.”

“But it’s not the way to Undertaker’s either.”

“Of course.”

“Where on earth are you taking me?! No, wait, I don’t need to know.” Diedrich placed a hand on the door handle. “I’ll just jump and walk back to the townhouse, no, to my hotel room.”

“First of all,” Vincent said calmly, “you don’t have a hotel room anymore. I cancelled the booking…”

“What?!”

“Second, do you honestly want to jump out of a driving carriage in your current state? I wasn’t even finished with listing all the food you’ve intaken. You would either start vomiting on a scale this city has never seen before or explode on impact with the ground.”

“I highly doubt I would explode.”

“And the first possibility?”

Diedrich wordlessly crossed his arms in front of his chest. Vincent smiled. “And don’t worry…” began Vincent.

“As if those words could console anyone coming out of your mouth.”

“… we are simply visiting an acquaintance.”

“An acquaintance? Who?”

“The Breckenridges.”

Diedrich rubbed his face. “Why should we go to the Breckenridges?”

“Because Oliver Breckenridge’s name came up when we were at St Bart’s, and…”

Diedrich’s ears perked up, and blood rushed into his face. “St Bart’s?”

“It’s short for St Bartholomew’s Hospital, Deeee…”

Vincent trailed off, elongating the nickname, when Diedrich jumped from his seat to Vincent’s, grabbing him by the collar and shaking the entire carriage in the process. The driver yelled something, but Diedrich could not grasp the words. Anger pumped through his body, veiling the world beyond him and Vincent in rushing. “You’ve found actual useful information while we were at St Bartholomew’s Hospital, and you still dragged me to the London Hospital Medical College?!” Diedrich exclaimed and shook Vincent by his collar before he abruptly let go. “But, of course, you did,” he continued, exasperated, and buried his face in his hands.

“Finding something at one place doesn’t mean that it’s the only place where we could and would have found anything at all,” Vincent said calmly. “All places had to be checked. I thought you figured that out yourself.”

Diedrich glared at him and then sank back into his seat. “You could have still said something.”

“Well, I did say the day wasn’t a waste, but someone kept insisting otherwise…”

“Well, someone is basically the ‘Boy Who Cried Wolf.’”

“I knew they would write stories about me one day.”

Diedrich sighed. “Now, could you please tell me what exactly you’ve heard about Oliver Breckenridge at St Bartholomew’s?”

“Of course,” Vincent said. The lack of joking refusal or roundabout talking took Diedrich aback. “Apparently, Oliver’s a medical student, and he’s been sick since Monday.” Right after finishing his sentence, Vincent looked at Diedrich.

“That’s… that’s it?” Diedrich enquired, puzzled.

Vincent just kept gazing at him with a neutral expression on his face and without speaking a word in response.

“That’s what you’ve learned at St Bartholomew’s Hospital? Nothing else?”

Vincent still didn’t say a word.

“I cannot believe we’re going to his house because of this.”

Still silence.

“‘I’ve heard his name before, and he’s a medical student!’ is barely a reason at all. Just admit it, Phantomhive, you cannot figure out what’s going on, and you’re grasping at straws…”

Silence.

“And now you want to visit some sick person you’ve never even met before!”

Vincent blinked at Diedrich wordlessly.

“Why are you not saying a wor-” Diedrich frowned. “Something’s wrong.” He narrowed his eyes and stared back at Vincent before realisation fell like scales from his eyes.

“Monday!” Diedrich exclaimed. “Oliver Breckenridge’s sister said her brother got suddenly sick on Wednesday!”

Vincent smiled and then deflated on his seat, sliding half off it and placing his hand dramatically on his forehead. “That took you so embarrassingly long, Dee.”

“I didn’t play weird attention training games when I was a child,” Diedrich countered.

“So, now you’re choosing to believe that?”

Diedrich scowled.

“Very well,” Vincent said and sat up normally again. “We should arrive soon. Let’s see what Miss Anna Breckenridge has to say about her weird little lie, hm?”

***

The carriage driver mumbled something about “rough, troublesome customers” while Vincent paid him with a smile on his face. He drove off with a huff, and Diedrich watched the driver for a moment, wishing that it was him. Unfortunately, he was not and had to let himself be dragged – albeit with great internal reluctance – by Vincent to the townhouse of the Breckenridge family.

It was a polished building in the heart of the city. Right before they had got out of the cab, Diedrich had asked how they could justify an unannounced visit, particularly when the head of the house was sick and his unmarried sister presumably without a chaperone in their home. Vincent had merely waved his concern away and told him not to worry, which made Diedrich worry a great lot. His worry doubled as they walked up the stairs to the entrance. It tripled when Vincent knocked.

It took a few minutes until a maid opened the door. Her eyes widened in surprise before she hastily curtsied. “Good afternoon,” she said. “I was unaware that we were expecting guests. May I ask for your names?”

Vincent smiled brightly. Diedrich could see the maid blush and did his best not to roll his eyes. “How unpleasant,” Vincent began, “our calling card must have got lost in the post! The English postal service is usually so diligent and dependable; I wonder what happened? Could you please announce to your master that Earl Vincent Phantomhive and…” He gestured to Diedrich. “… Diedrich von Weizsäcker have arrived and kindly ask whether we could be received nonetheless?”

“Oh, uh… yes, of course!” the maid pressed out, her eyes fixed on Vincent and the brilliant smile he had kept plastered on his face. “I…” She looked around, chewed on her bottom lip in thought. “I suppose you can wait in the parlour while I speak to Miss Anna.”

The maid stepped away from the entryway and gestured for Vincent and Diedrich to come in. They complied with a slight bow of their heads, and she closed the door behind them.

“Please follow me,” the maid said and guided them through the building. Diedrich let his gaze wander through the corridors, glimpsing into rooms whenever a door stood ajar. The Woolahan townhouse had been tidy but cramped and tacky; Diedrich had felt slightly claustrophobic being inside it. The Breckenridge townhouse, on the other hand, was absolutely spotless. With great awe and fascination, Diedrich mustered its interior. Everything was perfectly balanced: There wasn’t too much décor, too many pieces of furniture that were shoved into any nook and cranny, that covered every centimetre of the walls and cluttered the gangways. At the same time, the corridors and rooms weren’t too empty either, but were clad in tasteful tapestries and paintings. Most miraculously, however, was the fact that everything shone. Actually shone. Diedrich felt bad knowing that he must be tracking some dirt into this wonderfully clean abode simply by walking through it.

Vincent scrutinised their surroundings as well, but did not seem captivated by the townhouse’s spotless state. Instead, he slightly furrowed his eyebrows for a brief moment before he summoned a smile again and said, “Miss Maid… Oh, that will not do! May you tell me your name?”

The maid blushed again. “It’s Mary, sir.”

“Mary,” Vincent said, and she sucked in the air. “You said you need to speak to ‘Miss Anna’ regarding Diedrich’s and mine presence, and it made me wonder… Is Mr Oliver Breckenridge not at home?”

“Oh, Master Oliver…” Mary looked around with reddening cheeks and fumbled with her sleeves. “Master Oliver’s currently indisposed. Did you want to speak to him specifically?”

“No, not at all,” replied Vincent. “How long has Breckenridge been indisposed?”

“For a few days.”

“Would you mind passing on that I wish him a speedy recovery and that I hope to visit properly when he is well again?”

“I’m afraid; I won’t be able to do that,” said Mary and led them into the drawing room. Like the rest of the house, it was immaculate.

“Oh, may I enquire for the reason?” Vincent asked as he and Diedrich sat down on a perfectly plush sofa. Diedrich was much inclined to melt into its cushions; of course, he did not.

“Mr Clyde has been caring for Master Oliver,” Mary imparted. “Master Oliver hasn’t left his room in days.” She sighed and put a hand to her cheek. “Poor, poor Master Oliver, to have come down with such a terrible cold!”

“Who is this ‘Mr Clyde,’ and would it be possible for you to relay the message to him so that he could pass it on to Breckenridge?”

Mary chewed on the bottom of her lip again. “Mr Clyde’s the footman, and I suppose I could. He is currently out of the house though; he’s running an errand for Miss Anna, but I will give him your message when he returns later today.” She paused. “If you may excuse me, Mylords, I will go and speak to Miss Anna now.”

With a curtsy, Mary hurried out of the parlour. Her steps echoed through the entire house.

“You’re lucky an easily impressed maid opened the door,” Diedrich remarked. “I’m certain anyone else would have sent us away at the entryway.”

“I’m a lucky one, aren’t I?” replied Vincent absentmindedly. He sat straight-backed next to Diedrich, his head tilted slightly upward. Diedrich followed Vincent’s gaze but found nothing of great note at the end; there was merely the painted ceiling and the small chandelier.

“Do you hear this?” Vincent asked then, to Diedrich’s surprise. Diedrich strained to listen but could not hear anything besides the opening and closing of a door, hushed talking, and two sets of footsteps. Both of them belonged to women in heeled shoes; one seemed to walk away from the parlour and the other towards it.

“What…” Diedrich started, though he could not finish his question as Anna Breckenridge entered the room a moment later. Immediately, Diedrich and Vincent rose to their feet to greet her.

“Lord Phantomhive, Mr von Weizsäcker,” Anna said, a pointedly neutral but polite expression on her face. “My maid informed me that you attempted to send me a card announcing your visit and that it got lost in the post. You did not tell the reason why you are honouring me with your visit though. I must also apologise for being unable to host you properly due to this postal mishap; all I can offer you now are tea and biscuits.”

Vincent lifted a hand. “Miss Breckenridge, there is no need to bother. We should be apologising to you for not delivering the note twofold to ensure its definite delivery. Now, we are intruding on you during such a hard time.” He put a hand on his chest and turned his eyes downwards. “We are very sorry.”

Diedrich glanced at him, trying his best not to look irritated. What are you blabbering about? Diedrich thought. It did not help that Anna’s expression faltered and folded into a frown at Vincent’s words. “A hard time? If you mean my brother, I assure you, he is only ailed by a cold and will be fine before the end of the week. Oliver merely has a penchant for drama.”

“I wish him a quick recovery, but we have not come because of him,” Vincent said. Diedrich could hear hurried footsteps in the distance; the source seemed to be coming closer. “I apologise for approaching you despite the fact that you have tried to conceal this matter to the best of your capabilities, Miss Breckenridge.”

Diedrich watched Anna and saw her shoulders tense up ever so slightly. Before Vincent could explain himself, Mary entered the room again, holding a large bouquet and a basket full of fruits and treats from what Diedrich could tell at first glance.

“Lord Phantomhive,” Mary said breathlessly and with great surprise in her voice. “A package for you has been delivered here…”

Anna let her gaze travel between Mary and Vincent, blinking. “I don’t understand…?”

Diedrich itched to glare at Vincent; unfortunately, he could not, lest he accidentally ruined whatever charade Vincent was currently performing.

“These are not for me…” Vincent started and took the bouquet from Mary. “They are for you, Miss Breckenridge,” he continued and held out the flowers to Anna whose composure had now fully disintegrated. She stared at the white chamomile and the pink tulips.

“I have faith that your aunt will return to good health as well,” Vincent added.

Anna’s head snapped up. Adopting a slight sheepishness in his voice and demeanour, Vincent said, “It seems to be a secret, but when I learned that your aunt Amelda was horribly sick, I could not help myself but feel awfully stricken that I had been unable to express my well wishes at the Bainsbridges’ garden party.” His gaze softened. “It must be so difficult, having lost your parents and eldest brother only last year and now having to live with the fear of losing your aunt too. It is a fear I can greatly sympathise with: I lost my parents when I was young and, thus, hope every day that my sister and her family will always be in great health and live a long and prosperous life.”

Diedrich shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other. Anna mustered Vincent with wide eyes. “Thank you, Mylord,” she pressed out slowly. “I did not expect this.”

“Certainly! The note got lost in the post after all.” Vincent smiled slightly and then bowed his head. “Rest assured, Miss Breckenridge, I will not tell anyone else about your aunt’s precarious health. We will not impose on you any longer and take our leave now, if you may excuse us, Miss Breckenridge.”

***

“Okay,” said Diedrich when the hansom cab began to rattle down the streets. “What was that all about now? Why do you know all that about the Breckenridges?”

“The death of Anna and Oliver’s parents as well as the eldest son Daniel was a great, shocking piece of news last year,” Vincent told him. “It’s surprising that you missed it, Dee. News about the accident was everywhere. And I know about Amelda Breckenridge’s condition from Kit: He mentioned it in passing when we talked about the garden party and the invitations. Kitty sometimes learns the most curious things by accident.”

“Very well,” Diedrich said slowly. “And how did you organise the bouquet and the gift basket? When even?”

“I asked one of the many cab drivers who drove us around the city today – specifically the one that brought us from St Bart’s to the London Hospital Medical College – to please be so kind and get me a bouquet of pink tulips and chamomile as well as a very lovely gift basket of his own choosing and send them to the Breckenridge townhouse, to be delivered at a specific time. I gave him the money for the items and paid him extra, and the driver proved himself to be an honourable man of his word for not simply running away with all my money.” Vincent sighed. “You were right there, Dee. I spoke with the man at length because all these instructions cannot be contained in twenty words or fewer, unfortunately. Were you daydreaming?”

“No, I’m pretty sure I was very preoccupied with trying not to vomit on the sidewalk,” Diedrich returned. “And how on earth could you have known that the basket and the flowers had to be delivered at that specific time?”

“Perfect time management is one of the things you have to learn when Francis is your sister,” Vincent explained. “Not that I always utilise that skill as it is awfully tiresome and not needed all the time, but I did acquire it, and it came in very handy today, did it not?”

“Lady Francis succeeded in teaching you that at least, though I’m certain she would have appreciated it too if you had learned to comb your hair properly.”

Vincent shrugged. “Nobody can have everything.”

Diedrich leaned back. “Despite all your efforts, we couldn’t learn much about Oliver Breckenridge though.”

Vincent lifted an eyebrow. “I could not have possibly gone and outright interrogated Anna Breckenridge about her brother or her odd little lie without raising any suspicions.”

“I’m sure you raised plenty of suspicions anyway.”

“Not any more than I usually do,” replied Vincent. “I could gather plenty at least.”

Diedrich stared at him. “Plenty? We didn’t learn anything from this visit that we didn’t know beforehand!”

Vincent shook his head. “Dee, Dee… You disappoint me so. Franny succeeded in teaching me something, but I fear I might be unable to teach you anything ever.”

Diedrich glared at him.

“But then, you’ve only been my fag for a year, most of which you spent leisurely in Germany…”

“I was – and still am – undergoing military training!”

“… so, perhaps, I shouldn’t be too hard on you,” said Vincent. “Mother always said to get yourself a faithful German dog…”

“I’m not a goddamn dog!”

Vincent grinned. “Then why did you feel addressed before I could even finish my sentence?”

Diedrich narrowed his eyes. “I hate you.”

“And here you go again with your strange German way of expressing your affection,” noted Vincent. “What I wanted to tell you is that Mother used to say that faithful German dogs are greatly beneficial, but neither she nor Father ever bought Franny and me a dog, no matter how often we would beg and how many biscuits and milk we would leave out for Christmas. We once put out a grand feast of biscuits – and don’t make that expression, Dee; Tanaka helped us make them, or, rather, he made them all, and we decorated them – and still did not get a dog.

“As I still want one though to appease my childhood heart, I have been reading a few books on how to keep dogs well. From them, I know that miracles do not happen overnight: You cannot send your dog back to Germany and then wonder why it didn’t learn anything you wanted upon its return. You need to train it yourself.”

“You needed to read how many books to figure that out?”

“That being said,” Vincent continued unperturbed. “I have to run a little errand now.” Like magic, the carriage perfectly halted when he finished his sentence. “The cab will bring you back to the townhouse though, as I will run this errand on my own.”

Vincent opened the door and hopped out of the carriage. “This gives you plenty of time to think over the case and give me your educated deduction – not your guess! – tomorrow. I will give you a single clue to help you because I failed to train you properly so far: Our culprit’s rather old-fashioned.” He smiled brightly at Diedrich. “You can do it, dear German dog.”

“I am not your dog!” Diedrich shouted after Vincent, but he had already rounded the corner, whistling joyfully to himself.

[remembertheplunge]

[icycoldninja]

Fluffcember #3 Reno x Reader

Cuddling by the fire

You let out an exhausted sigh as you tramped through the door, throwing your stuff onto a nearby armchair with little concern as to whether or not they actually reached the chair. “God, I’m tired.” You exhaled, heading to the bathroom to change out of your work clothes. After you were done, you trudged to the living room, only to find Reno crouching in front of the fireplace. “Oh hey, when’d you get back?” You mumbled, sinking tiredly into the couch. Reno turned his head to look at you, a smirk on his face. “What? I just get home and that’s whatcha say to me?” He laughed, then stood up and headed to the kitchen. “Hey, where you going?” You called after him, rearranging the pillows as you spoke. “Relax, babe,” Was the reply, as Reno returned with a box of matches, some balled up paper, and a cocky smirk. “I ain’t leaving you alone for too long.” He took a seat in front of the fire and began stuffing the wads of paper into the fireplace, before setting them ablaze. “Just wanna get this place nice and toasty, y’know?” He chuckled before putting out his match and taking a seat next to you while the fire crackled away. “Tired?” He asked, running a hand up and down your leg, comfortingly. You nodded groggily, curling up on the couch and getting ready to succumb to sleep. Reno crawled on top of you and kissed your forehead. “Want a human teddy bear to keep you company?” You nodded, wanting someone to snuggle with, especially now that it was so warm and cozy in the living room. Reno sniggered, then slid off of you. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back. Lemme just get changed.” He disappeared into your shared bedroom and returned holding a big blanket, and wearing a tank top, pajama bottoms, and fluffy socks. “Alright, now we can get all nice n’ comfy.” He clambered on top of you again, dragging the blanket over the two of you. “Thanks, Ren…” You muttered, sleepily settling into his hold. “You’re welcome, babe.” He whispered, kissing the side of your neck and wrapping his lean arms around your torso. “Love you.” “Love you too.” Before either of you knew it, you were fast asleep, snuggled up in each other’s arms by the fire.

[cheriboms]

doctober day 8: outatime

some scenes i really like from chapter 5 of the game :)

[horrorcrypt12]

Day 30 🎃:

Fear Street: Part Three - 1666 (2021)

[youraveragecatastrophe]

Carmen as Zorro, because a charming outlaw who defies law enforcement and fights for the common people while wearing an iconic outfit that includes a hat? it's just too perfect not to do the comparison!

[welcomefortune]

.

[nowordsformylove]

jonesmith analysis ep 16-30 (part 2)

this one is somehow longer and sillier than the last one. be ready

episode 16... rough episode but it gives.

lots of Davy being grabby and touchy in this one.

waist touch scene he does it twice btw and I dont fault him bc Mike does have a very grabbable waist.

Mike completely overshooting how short Davy is so that he can be eye level with his boobs.

this awkward high-five thing Mike tries to do.

ep 17 love this ep it gave us Mike grabbing Davy's inner thigh and Davy's shirt riding up.

this frame where it looks like they just got interrupted while making out. the way this ep was a jolenzmith spa day (poor Peter deserves a spa day too).

REMEMBER ALWAYS USE PROTECTION‼️

ep 18

the scene where they're all watching tv and Mike says "This isn’t bad considering, is it, Davy?" plays very well into my headcanon that they like to watch old silly movies together. also this:

ep 19 not much to say here, Mike does come out of Davy and Peter's room at the beginning so im curious what he was doing, and then theres this scene of Davy making a silly face at Mike.

ep 20 yeahh baby

"you'll do fine, sugar." <- this line put me into a coma.

love how he just walks into the group of interviewers and grabs Davy by the scruff.

THIS SCENE where he literally lifts Davy and then sets him on his lap. love love love

ALSO THIS SCENE. it's so sweet 🥹 "youre gentle youre kind and youre sincere" wahhhhh

ep 21 this episode back to back with the last one ohh boy

Mike calling Davy "Mr. Charm" cute.

another "I'm gonna stay here with Davy, you two go back to the pad." split-up situation. cant leave his bf all alone when he has to pretend to be the ruler of a country. Mike also spends the whole episode fussing over Davy and fixing his clothes 🤭 gifs here.

also this was a fake royalty red-blue joint slay outfit moment

ep 22

"MIIIIKEEE! MIKE! That guy was throwing knives at me he couldve killed me why didnt you do something?!!"

the way Mike runs his hands over him to check if hes okay.

ep 24

"what we wanna do is show what you are and the way you live" "what you wanna get us arrested?" because they live a faggot life style full of gay sex.

also "The Monkees are the typical fun people. The devoon madcap boys for whom every day is just one gay adventure." not jonesmith specific but its funny to me and i think it aged splendidly.

not much else in this ep but i do love these frames

ep 26 this one has A LOT

as pointed out HERE Mike just had to put his hand on Davy's hip for a second hmm.

very touchy in this ep

a wonderful array of silly costumes

boob touch ^

another lovely scene of Davy calling out to Mike for help 🫶

ep 27 shirt rip scene.

^ love these frames especially the second one cause Mike looks so cute. Davy is thinking that too.

ep 29

ep 30 didn't really have anything BUT this behind the scenes photo that looks like the beginning of a porno was from this episode