#PROFESSOR MCGOGGLE

[skylilac]

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.

aves this cannot be the one thing that has a proper love triangle where all three parties are involved with each other i cant do this

helppp youre right i didnt even realize thst

[skynetgilesbie]

Chapter 28.

AN: I said stop flaming the story. It was a mistake when Professor Trevolry said that, okay! GO TO FUCKING HELL! YOU SUCK! Thanks to Fily for the help! Raven, have fun with Kiwi!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We went into a black room. The walls were black with portraits of gothic bands like MCR, GC, and Marilyn Manson all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red velvet lined the black box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skulls in them. I was wearing a black corset bra with purple accents, fishnet stockings, and a black leather thong underneath.

I sat down on one of the chairs, feeling distraught. So did Draco and Vampire.

"Are you okay?" Vampire asked, putting his pale hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I had black nail polish with red crosses on mine.

"Yeah, I guess," I said sadly. Draco also put his hand on mine, in a sexy way. I smiled sadly with my black lipstick. "The problem is... I have to seduce Voldemort. I'll have to go back in time."

Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.

"It's okay, Ebony," he said finally. "But what about me? You're not gonna break up or anything, are you?"

"Of course not!" I gasped.

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure," I said.

We passionately kissed. Vampire looked at us longingly.

Then... I took off Draco's MCR shirt and seductively took off his pants. He was hung like a stallion. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said "Enoby" on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He looked exactly like Gerard Way. Vampire took a video camera. (I had said it was okay before).

I took off my clothes and then we were in for the ride of our life.

We passionately kissed as we climbed into the coffin. He inserted his "spock" into my you-know-what, and passionately we made love.

"I love you, Ebony. Oh, let me feel you. I need to feel you," he screamed as we reached orgasm. We watched Vampire film everything perfectly. Suddenly...

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!"

It was... Snape and Professor McGoggle!

[ohnohetaliasues]

My Immortal {Chapter 28}

(Kat)

I did well on my math test, so my mood has improved somewhat. But now, let us resume torturing ourselves.

We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.

Am I the only one who thinks a black leather thong would be really uncomfortable?

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Drako and Vampire.

“Are you okay?” Vampir asked potting his albastard

You mean Alabaster?

hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.

“Yah I guess.” I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick.

I feel like I should make another weird stock image here, but I don’t know how to execute that.

“The problem is……………………….I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time”

Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.

Seriously, the plot of this fanficton is lost to me.

“Itz okay Eboby.” he said finally. “But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?”

“Of coarse not!” I gasped.

“Really?” he asked.

“Sure.” I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.

Then………… I took off Draco’s MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone.

I’m dying inside from that imagery. Just dying.

He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).

When did that happen?

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock

I’m still dying from this imagery.

in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

Why is the word passively used constantly here?

“I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u.” he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly………………………….

This is very disturbing.

“WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!”

It was………………………….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111  

Wonderful.

Anyway, let’s move on to the next chapter.

~Kat

[cryptidcalling]

Nothing I ever write will live up to the amount of joy that comes from reading My Immortal and I’m going to have to live with that

[aftonfamilyvalues]

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.

“Vampire you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

“NO!” I ran up closer.

“I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I

oh no! volfemort! drako!

[tiny-feral-arachnid-man]

1.) "Professor McGoggle" is so fucking funny, I am WHEEZING.

2.) Why all the sex????? What purpose could it possibly serve????????

About to start reading My Immortal properly and liveblogging my reactions, so. Be Warned. /lh

[actiobellicahq]

A strange note has been plastered all around the school, placed with charmed boxes (which the Hogwarts faculty staff wouldn’t dare attempt to remove in the uncertainty of what would happen if they tried to). 

The note reads:

Who’s most likely to pull a Myrtle and get stuck in the toilets for all eternity? Which one of you will end up working for the Ministry, and which of you will keep failing seventh year repeatedly, forever to be a student? We plan to answer those questions, and more with our very official (and not fake) Hogwarts awards! Go on then, dob your friends in on one of these categories and at an undisclosed time - because let’s face it, McGoggles is about to get her bloomers in a twist over this - the results will be posted and you’ll have bragging rights or be cursed for the rest of your school days with the titles we give you.

The note also has a peculiar list scribbled on it: 

Most likely to remain terminally bitchy in later life 

Most likely to die in a potion explosion 

Most likely to grow old, alone, with 60 frogs

Most likely couple to get married as soon as they leave Hogwarts

Most likely to sleep through graduation

Most likely to win the triwizard tornament through sheer stupidity

Most likely to ‘invent’ the cure to something that’s already curable

Most likely to end up in Azkaban

Most likely to become a professor 

Most likely to fake their own death

Most likely to cheat in their O.W.L.S 

Most likely to cause another war

Most likely to get expelled 

Most likely to become a wizarding cop

Most likely to drop out in the middle of NEWTS

Most likely to never work a day in their life

Most likely to let the troll out the dungeon

Most likely to swallow a snitch

Most likely couple to have ten children

Most likely to get lost in the forbidden forest

Will you turn on your friends to name and shame them, or will you nominate yourself for one of the mysterious awards?

You can submit your votes here and the list will be posted at a later date, once we have all of the categories filled! Please try to make sure you include a variety of chars so as many players are included as possible. Have fun with it! This won’t effect current threads, you can continue as normal but once the list is posted you can reference it if you choose to! 

[joy-the-vamp]

Me when there are people making out in the hallway at schools

[verygayandverytired]

me: has one (1) thought about a guy

the tiny my immortal professor mcgoggle who lives in my head: you horny simpleton

[shadowbabe333]

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!

I am making a terrible mistake and I thought she made Hargrid a student at one point … Also i’m crying cause I didn’t understand most of that AN

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

when... when did Malfoy give her the knife … when did that happen

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

wait... was Enovy going to kill herself in a room full of people where did everyone else go

"Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"

kinky

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

But you can have them in the same room as the girl they spied on? I think logic went out the window there.

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

Have you ever read someing something and just felt your braincells rot away... also glad we sorted out that Hargrod wasn’t a prep.

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"

“why is Draco & who is Draco” glad we sorted that out

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

no comment

dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

That was actually rather funny

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

WHAT THE FUCK and right in the middle of Care of Magical creatures class to.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.

That's what you get for screwing each other in the middle of class

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

……………..

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"

That already happened... why is she repeating this what the fuck she even spelled Voldemorts name wrong the same way

[logarto]

the closest i come to Real Kin No Doubles Unfollow Me Right Now is professor mcgoggle in my immortal going “STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS”

[silkirose]

I'm now on chapter 14. They aren't super long chapters. And BTW IT HAS NOT GOTTEN BETTER. I might have been wrong about the stereotypes IDEK I'm just confused on what's going on. Favorite quote so far "STOP IT NOW YOU H*RNY SIMPLETONS!' Shouted Professor Mcgoggle"

PFFFT I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT SOMEONE TO READ MY IMMORTAL. GOD BLESS YOU. WHOEVER YOU ARE.

[ohnohetaliasues]

My Immortal {Chapter 29}

(Kat)

And we’re back.

“Oh my satan!1” we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily.

That’s a little extreme.

“CUM NOW!1!” Preacher McGongel yielded.

She’s a preacher now?

We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

I made this myself to express my confusion with that sentence.

“Hey what the fuck!111” Vampire shooted angrily.

“Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?” Draco demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes.

“Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango’s. So give back da camera!1111”

What secret? Oh the one about Lupin ‘masticating?’ I also sort of find the idea of going to a hospital named after a mango quite amusing.

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly.

Snoop, calm down. Go back to rapping.

“Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!”

Seriously, Professor McGonagall has the best insults in this.

yelled Proffesor McGoggle.

And once again.

She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it.

Weird visuals are very weird.

There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1).

Vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes. 

But you said they were blue.

And then……………….. he and Snoop both took out guns using magic.

Wizards don’t use guns.

They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand.

“Crosio!” I shouted.

That’s a forbidden curse. Well, it would be if you spelled it right.

Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said “OK Serverus I’m going 2 go now.” She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.

“It’s ok Enoby.” said Draco. “Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Snake.”

Who is Evergreen? I’m thinking of the Fairy Tail character.

Please don’t drag her into this.

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111

And here’s where the chapter ends. Joy. I’ll see you guys next time.

~Kat

[dateanenbywhosweird]

date an neby who wantz u 2 stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn’t really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX They were about to slit their wrists again with the silver knife that Drago had given them in case anything happened to him. He had told them to use it valiantly against an enemy but they knew that they must both go together. “NO!” THEY THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. They stopped. “How did u know?” “I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!” “NO!” They ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” they shouted. “I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!” Anyway they were in the school nurse’s office now recovering from their slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango’s after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. They put up their middle finger at them. Anyway Hargrid came into their hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses. “Enoby I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving them the roses. “Fuck off.” They told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” They snapped. Hargrid had been mean to them before for being gottik. “No Enoby.” Hargrid says. “Those are not roses.” “What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” They asked cause they were angry that he had brought them pink roses. “I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t they replied.” “You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently. “Whatever!” they yelled angirly. He pointed his wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! . “That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” they corrected him wisely. “I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!” And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now they knew he wasn’t a prep. “OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?” Hairgrid rolled his eyes. They looked into the balls of flame but they could c nothing. “U c, Enobby,” Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?” “I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. They guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back. Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!” Anyway when they got better they went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then they put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. They put their hair all out around them so they looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and they put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. “You look kawai, boi.” B’loody Mary said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” they said sadly too, but they were still upset. They slit both of their wrists feeling totally depressed and they sucked all the blood. They cried again in their bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn’t spy on them this time. They went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. “Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” they said in an wqually said way. They both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then……… they jumped on each other and started screwing each other. “STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching them and so was everyone else. “Vampire you fucker!” they said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!” they shouted and then they ran away angrily. Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. “NO!” they ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a scar anymore!” they shouted. “I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” he said back. “Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”

[anoyingwarlock]

"Vlodemort" is the best typo to happen so far

"Bloody Gothic Rose 666" is my new nick on Destiny

Hagrid is a member of the band, but nobody said that he now has black hair and shit, so I'm assuming he's dressed normally playing with a bunch of goth kids, for him is pretty in-character

You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

Write this on my tombstone

*takes a deep breath* all this romanticization of mental illness fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Omg there's so much happening at once, I feel like I've pressed fast forward by accident and now I can't find the damn controller to stop it

Draco dies and then Snap and Loopin are pervs and then Vampire Potter attacks with "Abra Kedavra!" but nothing happens because it's not a real spell so Ebony grabs a gun and shoots a gazillion times because guns are stronger than wombs

And then Hagrid calls everyone to a pep talk

He's a Satanist too

He also loves her

I have no idea of what's happening and at this point I'm ok with it

Volfemort is the best typo now, and he got Draco on bondage

(c is dat speld rong)

We're in chapter 12 and now you're concerned with spelling errors...

"Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio imo noto okayo!"

Speaking one of the romance languages makes this way better than already is

"2 c wht iz n da flms u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

*screaching noises* I'm currently 75yo

I wasn't expecting to read "kawai" in this, but here we are

Lord please take away this suddenly urge to draw a bad comic using this as the script

Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos.

It's the Hogsmade sale™

Professor McGoggle®

Ok, the paragraph was doubled, and it still doesn't make any sense on the right place

I decided to finally read the infamous My Immortal fanfic and I'm already breathless from laughing in the first sentence, pls pray for me I'll probably die before the end

[plisstsky]

it's 8:10pm and im thinking about "STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else. "Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily. Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. "NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

ITS 8:15PM AND I AM WHEEZING

go on anon & tell me what time it is and what you’re thinking about