#omg what my life has become
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hi 👋🏻
#i know i’ve been mia but i’m on a business trip#lmao#never thought i’d say that#thank god i’m going back tomorrow#shut up vanessa#hope i can take the weekend to catch up on content#omg what my life has become
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How tf does Dogman manage to have a better redemption arc story then Hazbin Hotel
#Petey gets so much time to redeem himself into becoming a better person in a comic where shit and piss can come to life#Meanwhile Angel dust is just suddenly like guys…. I don’t want to do drugs this one time and I helped my friend once lol#And then heaven is like omg why ISNT he in heaven?!?!#WHY DOESNT HEAVEN KNOW WHAT MAKES SOMEONE GO TO HEAVEN???? HAS VIV READ THE BIBLE???????#Anyway Dogman is a good kids book go read it lmfao#Like Petey has so many times where he fucks up but manages to do better even after all of that#And he even has the emo backstory too so ☠️☠️☠️#hazbin hotel critical#I do like Hazbin btw but damn it’s so rushed and it makes me sad!!!! Why didn’t they spend the Episode time they had better tf#Like there are so many unnecessary characters tooooo like you really don’t have to make it this cluttered omg#But that’s unrelated lmao
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Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭
#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t#understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always#because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3
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Some art of Tori from @misfitmccoward ‘s Naruto fic Plasticity! Because!! It’s such a good fucking fic…! I had to do fanart for it!! honestly after I first read it I was so fucking hype about it that I was almost like “omg.. I have to do an animatic or something for this. it’s SO GOOD” but. My ability to do animatics has kinda flushed down the drain recently ghghg- But! Still!! I had to at least draw some fanart for it…!
#sorry if I got any details wrong! it’s been a few months since I read the fic!#I mean. I originally drew this right after first reading it. but! I only finished them now so. I might have screwed something up ggh-#but yeah! YEAH! OMG! I FUCKING LOVE THIS FIC!?!?!?!?#ITS SO GOOD!?!?#LIKE. ughghghggh. idk. I read it while still pretty deep in my head about awful life stuff#and just. reading Tori. going thru absolute HELL. was like. cathartic?? like my life. is not even a fraction of the shitshow hers is#but! JUST! STILL! like.. the way she responds to stuff… the delayed reactions. the attempts to just roll w the punches.#the fACT ALL OF HER POSSESSIONS ARE LIKE. MEANINGFUL AND IMPORTANT TO HER.#like that’s! a small detail in the grand scheme of the fic but the fact that sort of thing is commented on at all is like! FUCK.#I GET IT TORI I FUCKING GET IT#AND ITS SO FUN!!! like yeah shit is awful for tori basically ALL THE TIME. but it’s not! a downer to read! its fucking fun as hell to read!#the interactions between all the characters are SO GOOD! and entertaining!! literally EVERYTHING in this fic is a fucking delight!!!#and it’s like! ITS SO GOOD AT GETTING U TO ROOT FOR TORI! like!!!#yea I recognize Tori has slowly crossed all her moral and ethical lines and become. like. pretty fucked up.#but like! seeing that shift. coincide w the slow shift. towards everything in her life becoming NOT completely horrible#it’s just like!!! yes! girl! do what u gotta do! become a monster! get some happiness in ur life!#like it’s like… I love it so much. its such a fucking good fic. it’s sO FUN. I cannot overstate. how fun this fic is.#and Tori’s such an endearing character!! and everyone else is really likeable and well written too!#lIKE. IDK. ITS JUST A GREAT FIC DUDES. ITS GREAT#doodles#plasticity#blood#tori mendoza#also. the song that I was thinking of using for the animatic was gonna be ‘stupid intruders’#cuz I heard it and immediately was just like. OMG. THIS FITS THE VIBES SO WELL. like. it just felt very fitting ghgh#also also! Srry for misspelling ‘obviously’ in the first pic.. spelling is hard ghg-#but!! yeah!! have some art. of Tori! cuz I love her! and I love this fic!!#featuring 2 diff pics of her absolutely covered in blood from the 1st chapter! cuz. that was iconic…#and also I felt I didn’t properly convey the like. drowned rat energy the first time gGHG-#god ok I’m running out of tags now. U SHOULD READ THIS FIC IF U WANT ITS RLLY GOOD. highly recommend! it’s fucking great!
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when people think anakin wouldnt have turned to the dark side if qui-gon trained him im just ?????
YOU THINK THAT WOULD HAVE STOPPED PALPATINE???
i mean qui-gon took anakin to be trained cause he thinks anakin is the chosen one or this is at least a major reason why and like??? PALPATINE WOULD HAVE JUST PIVOTED LIKE
"it's such a shame my boy that the council and even your master only see you as the chosen one and not your own person"
"i hope that they trust you as a jedi and not just part of a prophecy"
"i fear that qui gon only wants you as the chosen one and if you weren't, you would never have left tatooine"
LIKE PALPATINE WOULD HAVE DONE THAT! HE ENGINEERED A WHOLE WAR JUST TO TAKE POWER AND QUI-GON BECOMING ANAKIN'S MASTER WOULD HAVE DESTROYED PALPATINE'S PLANS???
idk just gets on my nerves and feels like a slight against obi-wan who yeah wasn't perfect and the circumstances for becoming anakin's master weren't ideal but i think he was a great master and this idea also makes palpatine seem far less manipulative, cunning, and evil
the man once said he would gladly make vader again given the chance, even knowing how it would eventually end, so he's not stopping just because anakin has a different master
#sheev palpatine#emperor palpatine#anakin skywalker#qui gon jinn#star wars#just gets on my nerves#sorry to everybody who has watched me like anakin turn to the dark side#the dark side is becoming obsessed with star wars#i have not been this obsessed with something or a character my god i love anakin but yeah not since voltron#so that's saying a lot#also from what i know about the jedi apprentice series and extended universe legends stuff about qui gon#dude does not have the best track record with padawans#he is very unorthodox and yes does not end up like the rest of the order in that like vein of being an arm of the senate or you know#being so involved in politics even tho they're peacekeepers and a religious order basically#but i think the whole chosen one thing would be much more present and constant in anakin's life#with anakin being fed both like#the in canon youre super powerful omg such a great jedi#thing from palpatine but also yeah oh they probably dont like you or trust you which is canon too except for you're their chosen one#youd probably still be a slave oops sorry but yeah you probably would be#and anakin is mentally ill enough already that palpatine taking a slightly different approach wouldn't really change much#same results different method#now... the obikin fic ideas i can come up with with qui gon being anakin's master and how all that happens#now those are fascinating
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anyway this upcoming trip w my gf. will decide a lot i think
#travelling tgth can tell u a lot abt a person#my gf has quite strong anxiety#but nevertheless for me. i know i cant be rly in a relationship w someone who becomes like#irritable and panicked and clueless under pressure instead of looking at it like a fun challenge or an adventure#like genuinely the attitude of becoming snappy when travel stress hits is smth ive seen in my parents and i Cannot deal w it personally#ive been held up a lot at the border and ive been trapped in foreign countries cities w a dead phone at 4 AM etc#and somehow its always been an adventure esp when im w a friend w a similar outlook of like. omg this will be a good story to tell later#lets make the most of it let's sit on the beach or find a bar thats still open lets discuss smth we love until sunrise!!#anyway i know shes an anxious person but regardless of that being . not pessimistic and enjoying adventure and stuff#is so important to me in a person. it reflects not just on travel but abt how they will handle life later yk. what happens if our car#stops in the middle of the road? will you start freaking out about it? will you be calm through it?#so#well see#i hope it goes well i love her sm
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i'm reading jonathan strange and mr. norrell & i have to say, it is a very bold choice to put jonathan strange's name first in the title & then make no mention of him outside of footnotes until... well idk when because it hasn't happened yet. i'm on page 68 and counting.
#personal#do i have a book tag? i forget if i have a book tag#not quite sure what to make of it so far but i am enjoying it#i didnt like norrell at first but his horrible personality has charmed me#eating popcorn & watching as he becomes bffs with the first guy to compliment him excessively#drawlight is so obviously sucking up and norrell is like. omg finally someone who understands how great i am. run my whole social life pls
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#no but seriously#i need to stop thinking about the eras tour#this js a mash up of my anxiety and special interest and it is Not Fun but also fun????#i woke up in my own at 10am this morning thibking avout it#its like im in love?? is this what love feels like to you regular non aroace people????#because its an obsession omg#i wake up thinking of it. go to sleep thinking if it. every hour of the last 4 days has been me thinking about the eras tour#surprised i havent dreamt it yet tbh#and then theres the anxiety on top making me check and double check train times#go over what i need to bring#etcetc#and then i scroll through tiktoks of Vienna and cry??#its become such an anxious ovsession and i hope i can keep it down and calm on the day#id kike to actually remember the concert#(also anyone know if wembley is okay with someone having 2 power banks#😂 my phone scares me with its battery like sometimes#at least its not my old one that died after like 5hours)#katy liveblogs life
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Thinking abt Jessica Cruz and the ability to overcome great fear again
#everybody including canon: omg hal is the greatest lantern kyle is the best etc. etc.#HOWEVER OKAY. my vision.....#with like 15 to 20 years of our time i could expand on stuff and give her THE character arc okay#like im just saying yellow lantern jess arc could ACTUALLY be so good bc i would do it as a way to bring her back to the corps stronger and#better and more assured#in herself because like its not about NOT being afraid is about OVERCOMING it and bravery isnt the absence of fear but action in spite of it#et cetera et cetera#like okay i was kidding when i said i think shed be more powerful than kyle or hal#because theyre both totally overpowered in their own way ofc with hal's willpower abilities at like insane levels and kyle's command of the#emotional spectrum being what it is et cetera#BUT. jess has such an interesting relationship with the ring and BEING a green lantern and its like i want to go deeper with that. like down#to the center of the earth deeper. because i feel like shes a character that would have such a great connection to being a lantern and would#especially be the one to embody the 'overcome great fear' phrase at its core#also like THE RELATIONSHIP SHE HAS TO BEING A LANTERN-#all the lanterns have interesting relationships to the corps or what it means to be a gl but for me jess's is just SOOOOOO compelling and#rich and just. being a lantern saved her life. becoming a lantern GAVE her her life BACK. on multiple levels!!!#like quite literally bc of the fact that volthoom died in her body before she got the ring but like before she became a gl she wasn’t living#a life at least not socially. even when she was power ring i still doubt HIGHLY that she even really left the watchtower when not on mission#because like. they glossed over it but the power ring doesnt come off. she was always like that and even with her control over it always a#little primed to blow and i think that's something jess was aware of even if the rest of the jl wasn't as much#bc she like was always reminded of how precarious her power over the power ring could be like it said HORRIBLE things to her all the time!!!#like on power it would be just calling her names like verbal abuse#so even while she had control over the ring it was a tenuous sort of precarious state and she was very aware of that!!!#and i feel like thats what it often comes down to for jess: control. i think its a key part of her character that she desires that sort of#control over herself and her fear due to feeling a lack of it for so long. and THATS why i think that yellow lantern jess has SO much#potential bc it has a huge chance to explore her relationship with the concept of control and harken back to her origin and early days as a#hero.#gosh i went on a tangent here but yeah. LOTS of feelings abt jess#basically a whole meta in the tags tbh#jessica cruz
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the thing about the Anastasia stage musical is that like…….. as a story it’s a real improvement on the original film. way better construction, stronger characterisation etc etc etc. but…. the same choices that make it technically a better narrative also have really weird knock-on effects on the message.
Replacing rasputin with a communist party officer who’s father was one of the ones who executed the romanov family??? UGH that’s so good that’s so juicy the dynamic between the villain and Anya is SO much more interesting than in the original film. But it leads to scenes like Still/The Neva Flows where it’s like.
“The Romanov’s were given everything and gave back nothing until the russian people rose up and destroyed them!”
*girlboss voice* “All but one. I am my fathers daughter”.
And i’m just… ok but he’s right though. He’s absolutely correct there. Factually he is accurate. But she’s the protagonist and he’s the antagonist so the framing is that she’s the one we should be rooting for here. There’s no point where Anya is like “wow my experiences growing up poor and destitute and orphaned have made me morally uncomfortable with the idea of claiming my place as the daughter of the tsar and that’s going to influence my decisions and actions”. She’s just like. Oh cool i get to be a princess??? neato.
#unironically this was one of the reasons i was team great comet that year when we had two musicals about rich russsian shenanigans#because that show was like. god these people are awful. yes here’s an emotional story about them but. fucking hell they’re all awful.#and anastasia was like… eeeeeeeeehh but what if they were actually victims 🥺#they should have made her a communist fully committed to the cause#that’s how she knows gleb and how he’s secretly in love with her#but she needs money so she teams up with some scammers to con the old rich russians clinging to the past out of their hoarded wealth#she’s fully in on it being a con from the start#as she’s learning about the romanov’s though she starts fantasising about what her family would have been like…#you could have a scene where she’s like… wow i’ve been learning about these people so much i almost feel like they are my real relatives#and she starts remembering bits and pieces and it’s extra confusing bcus she remembers them fondly#this world this life that she’s so morally opposed to… but it’s starting to feel like home somehow#and when she sees her grandmother that’s when it all comes back#and at first she’s so elated that omg this actually IS her family she’s found them she’s home#and then she has to *become* anastasia. get dressed up in the dresses and the jewellery and the tiara and claim her title and.#now she’s conflicted.#now it’s a choice between the family she always dreamed of and her own moral views on their lives and their indulgence and their power#and she decides she doesn’t want to be part of that#and THATS the main reason she leaves
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Kaido lore?!
#THE GIRL SANJI HIT HAS A RAT???#if sanji kills the rat he is not going back... this poor woman tho....#sanji didn't really get to dight his siblings so now he is kinda doing it lmao#sanji didn't hit her?? queen did??? omg. sanji don't lose hope.... but i want you to kinda do and succumb to the germa ajskdha#nvm he figured things out.... got the rat and everything... sanji talking to himself with the cage on... yeah..... omg zeff and luffy <3#omg queen got yeeted.... the rat.....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1061#king asking zoro if he is trying to be a king implies now that as sanji beat queen he is one. now when zoro beats king???. exactly.#omg... zoro dont kill king he is too pretty to die.... zoro.... i was wondering where all the nephilim fanart came from akdjsk#this is so slay... zoro with the king of hell enma fighting an angel.....#kaido with shackles in punk hazard???? is it bc he is an 'ogre'????#wtf.... zoro is seeing a biblically accurate angel akdjsns WAIT. did king say he isnt biologically capable of besting him.#and zoro said he doesnt like those types of excuses. because he is equaling that to what kuina said about being a woman.#please someone tell me this isnt the resolution to that. please. that is so stupid.#also wtf is zoro gonna do against that. thank god he learnt how to cut fire damn. thanks kinemon. hope izo and usopp find you soon#the music. the visuals. slay. oh :( goodbye my angel..... him thinking kaido is joyboy??? you've got it very twisted. it's kinda tragic#how his faith is misplaced and ends up defending evil and dying for it..... :(#the z on the end screen akdhaka.... now o want kaido lore. why was he im punk hazard. i mean ti be experimented on but there's gotta be more#you know whats funny. robin becoming a devil for luffy. zoro becomong king of hell for luffy. sanji just doesn't turn evil :) AHDHAJAJ#which actually could be the most dangerous maybe bc goodbye emotions xd even if the king of hell and a demon could end him#inch resting. i want more about lunarians?? and kaido now. also MORE about zoro and kuina... please that can't be it....#did i explain here how at least in the op spanish speaking fandom there is a gag that zoro is racist?? it started with that woman from bw#he just now killed a survivor of a nearly extinct (or extinct) race xd. you can appreciate why the gag exists#episode 1063#usopp looking for kinemon and the scene hes gonna walk into.... izo please get here soon....#usopp calling them suicidal samurais ajdhak he will cling to life sobbing and full of snot!!! EXACTLY!!! this is actually so helpful.....#like they really are suicidal samurais... committing seppuku for anything.... izo thank god. he's gonna get the kun treatment from now on#episode 1062
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v a c a t i o n
#not like im gonna have much rest because ill have to prepare for examd#but at least i wont have to wake up at 7 omg 😭#and commuting 1.5 hrs to work and 2 hrs from school 😭😭😭#like i spend 3-4 hrs in commute alone every day#and the weather is so shitty too#also got threatened with getting fired today for a thing i didnt do so that also adds up#never thought just staying at home studying would be so blissful. yet here we are#what has my life become…#arnold’s diary
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hello..
#omg hello tumblr it has been… what feels like years but hi!#i don’t want to say i’m back because very likely i am not :(#but a lot has happened! life update!!#in october (ages ago now right) i had a lot of personal things going on and long story short my mum passed from cancer (it was slightly#expected but never that soon) so obvs that took a big hit! and i also got a bf ..#whom i love very much and i can’t lie to you i have definitely become disconnect from kpop skz ect and as much as i love writing i#don’t know if i could ever see myself writing for them again#sorry to disappoint;(#but i have seen all your lovely asks and reblogs and anons and THANK YOU SO MUCH i cannot describe how grateful i am#to be given feedback like that on something i did as a little hobby makes my very tired heart absolutely beam#i love you all very much and will indeed keep my blog up in case i ever do decide to wriye again#whether it be for skz or just as a little thing i choose to do#nat btw i love u and ur asks made me beam happg new year!!!!!!!!
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#why is it that only extremely outdated things with small fandoms are the only things that activate my desire to participate hahaha#like now that I'm on a creatures 3 game kick and looking for content online#it's both fun to have to hunt for all these old blogs and defunct websites etc but also like#omg there's like NOTHING out there for so much of it like lets plays are almost nonexistent#And the official info is hard to find as well#And it's making me seriously consider becoming a let's player of creatures#Because I have so much fun with it even though I know it's extremely frustrating as well and nobody would probably even care or watch it ha#But I do think it's a genuinely interesting game and it's not that easy to get into it either. So it would be actually helpful to people#If I put content out there#anyways I appreciate the people who HAVE made helpful blogs and videos and whatnot about the game so much#That I'd be glad to feel I was doing the same for somebody else#And I know this has absolutely nothing to do with death note but since this is my only active fandom presence I'm posting about it here#I'm like opposite of those people who need to be in relevant busy fandoms to have fun I come to life when the room is mostly empty#And im free to peacefully look around and figure out what I think is missing or could use some sprucing up#p
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i never realized Viktor was missing from Disenchanted Fashions before (or at least tumblr isnt showing him) and i am having so much fun with that bit of freedom towards his wardrobe jfc
#idk what style im drawing him in is technically called#mall goth?? cyber goth??? techwear goth????? it is a lot of belts plus a harness. bro loved Kingdom Hearts#i had several irl friends who were Alternative Gays before they realized they were eggs. something about the gender nonconformity#my favorite part of these aesthetics is the reuse and mending and so i am having fun giving Vik and Amri#patches and having them repurpose certain parts of their wardrobe again and again like Viktor As A Teen has#a belt chain with a star that later becomes a piece of horn jewlery. the pins on his beanie move to his backpack etc#bro always wears the same earrings#its my hc his parents didnt like the aesthetic (hence why his teen picture is so limited in its goth aspects) UNTIL they found#out about the anti-trend aspects and the mending and whatnot like. guarantee he will wear these jeans for 10 yrs and then when they#finally tear-- he's going to use them to help repair another pair of jeans from 10 yrs ago. parents (esp of four kids) LOVE that part#very likely none of this is canon buT FUCK IF IM NOT HAVING FUN#the only thing i know about Vik's canon wardrobe is that leaf shirt so ill add that in for his 30+ yr old picture#i just love the idea of Vik The Goth so much let him be OBNOXIOISLY alternative cmon look at the company he keeps#someone feel free to send me ideas for Luci too bc i have a hc that their wardrobe is based almost entirely off of how their mom would#dress then as part of their parents exercising control over Luci and ''protecting the family name'' so like#i think since Luci is so new to having more freedom from their parents rn that Luci hasnt changed styles and the idea is probably#anxiety-inducing even bc of habitual fear of parental backlash. but like. also i want 30s!Luci to be living their best life#(EDIT: OMG I FORGOT I MADE GIGI'S BIO-MOM A MORTICIA ADAMS STYLE GOTH. OMG THAT MAKES HER BFF BEING#GOTH SO MUCH SWEETER WTF??? AND HER MOM WAS 1/3 DRACA TOO. GIGI DOESNT EVEN REMEMBER HER MOM. OMGGG I DIDNT REALIZE#I DID THAT... THEIR TWO GOTH STYLES ARE SO FUCKING DIFFERENT BUT AHH GISELLE'S MOM WAS A GOTH 1/3 DRACA AND HER BFF/MAYBE BF IS A GOTH 1/2#DRACA WTFFFFF MY BRAIN YALL MY FUCKING BRAIN AND THESE CONNECTIONS AHHH)
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I need to check my emails but I'm too afraid lol
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