#POWER IS TEMPORARY BUT FAMILY AND LOVE LASTS FOREVER.

[deadpcnned]

Sealed by the Storm (jj.m)

chapter four

pairing: jj maybank x reader; marriage of convenience

content warning(s): references to mommy issues (reader), references to loss of a parent (reader), angst

author's note: i'm so so sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up. it ended up being a bit harder than i expected. thank you for your patience! just a little warning i will be changing the pov in this series to 2nd person (working on fixing the other parts).

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When the Pogues were dividing the Maybank Property, you didn’t get closet space. Your room was an extra storage closet with just enough room to fit a twin bed, a mirror you’d mounted on the wall, and a small nightstand with two drawers. When you first arrived at the Outer Banks, after El Dorado, you had nothing except literally the clothes on your back, so you didn’t see the point in arguing for more space. Since the OBX had become your home, you’d gotten more things– usually, having to ask Cleo to put some of your clothing in her and Pope’s closet– but not enough because you couldn’t find anything white right now. Not even jeans. Sarah had insisted that if you didn’t wear white, the whole thing would seem rushed– more rushed than it already seemed– and that every part of this production had to appear genuine. 

You were still trying to figure out how Cleo convinced you to get married. When you left all the Pogues on the porch last night, there was no way you were going to marry JJ. It wasn’t just about JJ. Your unstable upbringing jaded your view on many things, and love was probably one of them. You did not doubt that love was real, and the last two years had taught you that it existed in abundance. But love was temporary, with a shelf life that only lasted until one party found something more important to stick their heart to. You hadn’t given it much thought, to be honest, what you thought of love now that you’d found this version of a home. It seemed contradictory to concern yourself with something as fleeting as love when you’d finally stopped defining your life by trying to survive day-to-day. Instead, you’d focus on the other relationships in your life. For the first time, in maybe ever, you had friends, plural. Loyal and lively friends. You also had adults who cared about you without expecting something in return. You could show up at the Heywards’ door at an ungodly hour, and they wouldn’t blink an eye. 

While you hadn’t thought about love since settling down, you knew exactly how you felt about marriage. 

Marriage wasn’t just soft-spoken promises of I love you and forever; it was a transaction, a business deal and a power struggle made to look pretty with red ribbons of romance and confident vows of companionship. You had seen it yourself, watched as the winning smiles of the person you loved most had only ever been disarming grins. Marriage hadn’t stopped your mother from betraying your family, nor had it shielded you from pain. No, it had been the weapon your mother used to get exactly what she’d always wanted, even more than her daughter. It didn’t matter if the union was built on love because marriage was the issue's root. The legal entanglement made people greedy, leaving their spouses a casualty of the games.

You didn’t know how you felt about love, but you knew that marriage was a trap you had never expected to find yourself in. Yet, here you were, about to fall off the precipice of the very thing you feared. You were going to permit another person to pull you into this game by signing off on a dotted line. And you weren’t even in love. 

You found a beige skirt buried deep in a drawer of your nightstand and figured it was close enough to white. You began looking for a shirt when you heard a short knock followed by the door opening. Sarah walked in with her hair wrapped in a green towel and holding something in her hands. 

“You know,” You said, plopping down on your bed, relieved for this break from looking for an outfit. “Usually, people wait for a response when they knock.”

Sarah smiled, sitting on the bed and bumping her shoulder against yours. “Force of habit. I always used to barge into Wheezie’s.” Sarah’s expression was some mix of fondness and longing that made you want to squeeze the girl who had become like a sister to you. Instead, you just slipped your hand into Sarah’s and gave it a light squeeze. If you stopped to acknowledge every unfair thing life dealt all of you, you’d never get anything done. Sarah nodded at your other hand, where the beige skirt was balled in a fist. “No luck finding anything white?”

You shook your head with a groan. “No. It’s fine. Beige is close enough.”

“It is so not fine,” Sarah’s exasperation was completely unnecessary in your opinion, but you let her continue. “If we want to make all this believable, every detail counts. A girl marrying the love of her life would care that beige is not white.”

You gave Sarah a sarcastic smile. “What about girls marrying a friend they can sometimes tolerate?” Sarah’s smile matched yours, but a line formed between her brows. 

“Hey, why are you stressing?” You reached up to smooth out the divot. “I’m the one getting married.” 

“No, it’s not that,” Sarah let her denial sit between you two, not immediately offering any explanation. Her lips pursed sideways, her brows furrowing further, a telltale sign that she was having difficulty keeping something to herself. Just as you expected, Sarah broke without any additional pushing from you. “It’s just that… why are you so hard on JJ?”

“Are you seriously asking me that, Sar?” You rolled her eyes, getting up from the bed. You walked towards your nightstand, training your focus on folding the useless skirt and putting it back in the bottom drawer. 

“Yeah, actually,” Sarah’s voice was serious, a tone she seldom used. Unleashing her hair from the towel, Sarah threw it at your nightstand. “I am.” 

It only took a minute for the skirt to be put neatly away, leaving you nothing to avoid Sarah and this conversation. You turned to face Sarah, whose eyebrows were now raised instead of furrowed. 

“Sarah, it’s like you guys forget everything he’s done.”

“Of course we haven’t forgotten, but we forgave him. That’s what friends do.” 

“You can’t forgive someone who hasn’t apologized,” You argued.

Sarah shook her head, her eyes shifting to the ceiling as if she was in deep thought. “JJ…” Sarah trailed off again, seemingly unable to explain herself. “He’s not good with words—”

You cut Sarah off with a scoff and crossed your arms across your chest. “JJ is amazing with his words. He can get himself out of anything.” 

“That’s not what I mean,” Sarah’s tone, while it remained serious, didn’t match yours. She remained calm as she continued. “I used to get annoyed too, you know? When I first started dating John B, we were all so caught up in the Denmark treasure, but after a while, I noticed the same things you do. He was always getting caught up in some shit he’d start, and all of us somehow ended up stuck with him in whatever web he’d spun.” 

JJ and Sarah resembled siblings in more than appearances; they often fought just like you assumed normal siblings would. Fights over things like the rules of a board game or stolen leftovers usually ended at the beginning of wrestling matches, that John B had to stop by physically removing Sarah from the room. However, you had yet to see Sarah genuinely upset with JJ. The Pogues never really fought, so Sarah’s lack of anger wasn’t out of the ordinary, but you could never picture a time when Sarah had felt differently about him. It could have been how Sarah compensated for the loss of her siblings, but despite only being a few months older than JJ, she smothered him with the sisterly love Cleo gave you. 

“Yeah,” Sarah chuckled, reading the disbelief on your features. “But then there was this day after my dad died…the first time,” Sarah cringed as she said it, and you tried your best to keep your face neutral because what were your lives? Sarah’s voice changed, looking down at her hands as she continued. “His death had put JB and me in a weird place. I needed him to understand my grief, but to him, the man who’d taken his father from him was dead. At that point, I was sort of still just his girlfriend. Kie and I had just started talking about our history. JJ and Pope had no loyalty to me.

“But JJ snuck onto Tannyhill just to see if I was okay. Brought some flowers he’d picked from our yard and everything. He hated Ward almost as much as John B, but he still showed up for me. I remember Rafe almost caught him cause JJ had tripped the security alarm, and I had to convince him it must’ve been a fluke. That’s who he is. He makes mistakes, just like us, but he shows up. Sometimes more than the rest of us.” 

You didn’t know what to say in response. JJ supporting Sarah was sweet, but it wasn’t unexpected. You knew how fiercely he showed up for the Pogues, and you undoubtedly admired that about him. It didn’t change the fact that he was impulsive, and it seemed like his impulsivity was reaching a point of no return. 

“Sarah, It’s not that I don’t know JJ’s a good guy. I do,” You sat down next to the blonde. “But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re still getting caught in the web.”

“People make mistakes, Y/N/N. The rest of us have, and you’ve always forgiven us. What’s so different about JJ’s mistakes?” You didn’t need to think of your answer. 

“This is all I have.” 

“The shop?” Sarah asked. 

You shook your head, the nape of your neck heating up as the cost of being vulnerable. “You. The Pogues.” You willed yourself not to let your voice shake. To you, every wrong decision JJ made threatened the Pogues’ chances of staying together. This family that had somehow fallen into your lap— a gift after years of misfortune— seemed to be hanging by a thread recently. 

Sarah’s expression softened, and you could have laughed at the speed with which your friend’s eyes filled with tears. With all her cheek and confidence, Sarah was still the softest person you knew. 

“Then you and JJ are more alike than you think,” Sarah said simply. She quickly brushed the tears that had fallen and cleared her throat. “Sorry. I didn’t come in here to berate you. I came to bring you this.” Sarah reached back on the bed, where she’d dropped the black bag she’d walked in with. It was a garment bag. Sarah stood from the bed and unzipped the bag in her hands. 

“I stole this one of the times I snuck into Tannyhill… is it called stealing if it’s literally yours?” Sarah’s usual cheer seemed to return, and no trace of their earlier conversation was left. “Anyway, it’ll definitely do the trick.” 

Sarah carefully pulled a mess of white fabric from her bag. The dress, in true Sarah Cameron fashion, was gorgeous. It had a drop-waist silhouette that would hug the body perfectly before flaring into a soft skirt. The skirt was covered by a delicate, thin layer of netting that complimented the suggestive top half with a whimsical touch. The outline of flowers were scattered across the skirt, only enhancing the graceful look. Instead of sleeves, the dress was held together by thin, dainty straps, and the dress would likely end a little above your ankles, making it the perfect blend of romantic and laid-back.  

Simply put, the dress was beautiful. 

“You stole this? When the hell were you going to need--” You stopped speaking as you were hit with the obvious. Sarah's reason for initially buying this dress didn’t matter, because it was glaringly obvious why she’d deemed it necessary to take and bring back to their house. “No way. I’m not wearing this.”

“Why not? It’s the perfect elopement dress,” Sarah wined, holding it against your frame. 

You pushed the dress away from your body. “Yeah, for you. It’s your elopement dress.”

“John B. and I are already married,” Sarah shrugged. 

“Sarah.” 

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Fine, yes, I stole this to wear when JB and I get legally married, but it’s fine! I’ll buy another dress when that time comes. This was originally gonna be my midsummer’s backup. It’s nothing fancy.”

“This is your backup?”  You asked, only receiving a shrug from Sarah. “Sar, why would you give me this for a sham wedding? It’s such a waste.”

“I don’t feel like it would be,” Sarah responded. Cryptic…

“And why not?”

“Does it matter? Look, you have nothing else to wear, and we have to leave in an hour,” Sarah huffed. “Just think of me as your fairy godmother and accept the miracle.” 

“Sar—” Just as you were going to protest another time, the door opened again. Cleo walked in, a bag of chips in one hand. 

“You ready yet,” Cleo mumbled around the chips she was chewing. After taking in your appearance, she sighed and swallowed before speaking again. “Why are you not ready yet?” 

“Cause there’s still an hour.” Why were they all acting like this was a real wedding? It didn’t matter how you looked as long as you signed the damn papers. “I was about to change.” You looked over at Sarah, who had a knowing smile on her face, and you groaned. “Give me that.” 

“Careful!” Sarah chastised as you grabbed the dress out of her hands. Walking towards the door, you opened it with a tilt of your head to indicate the other two should get out. 

“Since when do you care about privacy when you change?” Cleo asked, slumping against your bed.

“Just give me a minute.” When she realized you were being serious, she made eye contact with Sarah and finally got up to leave. Once the other two girls had left, you sat on the bed, your bedding a bit crumpled from all the movement it had just endured. This was it. After you put on this dress, you would sign off the rights to your life. You knew that logically, you had until you signed the dotted line, but putting on this dress was like putting up a white flag and admitting that you surrendered to this convoluted plan and being tied to JJ indefinitely.  

You let your shorts and crop top fall to the floor, replacing the clothing on your body with the dress. Looking in the mounted mirror on your wall, you could only see your reflection from the chest up. It gave you that familiar itch to curl into yourself. You looked so much like your mother like this. In a fancy dress, your hair still pulled up from when you’d tied it back. It was so poised and elegant, a look you’d desperately wanted to pull off as a kid but wanted nothing to do with now. Yet, even with all the comparisons you could draw between yourself and your mother, you couldn’t deny it made you feel pretty. Even just the top half of the dress fit you so well, and it made you nostalgic for a time when pretty dresses were your only worry. 

Taking just a minute longer before you let Cleo and Sarah back in, you pulled your hair down. Your hair spilled over your shoulders, softening your features and making you look younger. You weren’t ready to look that much like your mother. 

Sarah had insisted on getting you fully ready for today’s events. You were no stranger to makeup but usually stuck to mascara and concealer. Sarah had pulled out all the stops. While keeping your base relatively simple, she’d added blush, lipstick, and even eyeliner to “give the full effect.” She had even pulled your hair back up into a bun, and as much as you wanted to fight against it, you figured avoiding the mirror would be easier than arguing.

The Pogues had created a plan for the entire day to try to convince the residents of Kildare that the nuptials between you and JJ were as true as the sky was blue. John B and Sarah would accompany you and JJ to the courthouse to handle your ruse's legal and most crucial component, while the rest of the Pogues would set up a “surprise” reception in the Heywards’ backyard. The reception had been Pope’s idea because, according to him, his parents were too close to JJ and you to not need the extra convincing that this whole thing was real. You had doubts that Pope was just finding ways to make this more entertaining for himself. 

Once Sarah and Cleo had finished helping you get ready, you’d decided to stop by the charter shack. JJ was, unsurprisingly, nowhere to be found, and you had some time to kill before heading to the courthouse. Initially, you’d wanted to find Kie. Whatever connection Kie and JJ had wasn’t lost on you, and you’d been overthinking your very much overdue conversation since last night. Even though you didn’t feel like you were wronging Kiara, since from what you’d gathered, JJ and Kie weren’t anything serious, it still felt like you owed her some form of acknowledgment. When you’d asked Cleo if she’d seen Kiara, she had let you know that Kiara had gone to her parent’s house a bit earlier, making it impossible for you to have that conversation. 

Instead, you figured you’d take the time to be alone. It was what you always did when you couldn’t process your emotions. Was it the healthiest coping mechanism? No. But at least you knew you did it. The shack was the closest you could get to quiet in a house with six other roommates, so you were headed that way. As you climbed the familiar footsteps, you thought of the last time you’d been here. It had only been two days, but that night with JJ felt like a lifetime ago. You’d somehow compartmentalized discovering Ligthner’s body, becoming an accessory to a crime, and being questioned by the police in a way that anything before it all felt like a distant memory. 

“That’ll be 3.99,” JJ’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts as you stood by the shack's open door. JJ stood behind the register in his usual uniform of cargo shorts and a graphic tee. He reached out his hand to a middle-aged man, not noticing that you were standing there to witness his interaction. 

JJ divided up the change before sticking out his hand to offer it to the patron, “Here you are, sir–” At that moment, JJ looked to his side, immediately doing a double take when he saw you. JJ faltered, missing the customer’s hand entirely and spilling the change against the counter and the floor. The polite smile that JJ had worked to perfect slipped off his face, his lips parting and his eyes clouding over. You couldn’t decipher the storm brewing in his eyes, but it sent a flutter through your belly as you met his stare. The movement of the customer scramming to pick up the dropped change, which JJ had dealt in a comical amount of coins, caught your attention, but when you looked back at JJ, he was still looking at you. With a heat that seemed to burn right through you straight to your spine. 

“JJ,” you whispered, drawing his eyes from where they had been trailing down your figure and back to your face. You shifted your head towards the man crouched to gather the fallen change. JJ seemed to finally return from wherever his mind had ended up and quickly rounded the corner. 

“I-I’m sorry, sir,” JJ said, crouching to help. “That was an accident,” He apologized again as he handed the last change back to its rightful owner. 

“Don’t worry,” the man winked. “I’ll get out of your hair.” He gave you a knowing look that made you flush as he passed and left the shack. If he only knew. 

“Hey,” JJ mumbled, the heat in his eyes subdued. “You’re ready?

“We’re supposed to leave in twenty minutes,” you replied. Sarah was getting restless. I think  she just sees this as an opportunity to play dress-up.”

JJ chuckled, moving closer to you. “Yeah, I think John B’s choosing which one of his button-ups I’m gonna wear right now.” JJ’s eyes began to trail back down your body, his tracking slow and that cloudy look returning to his eyes.“You look…” 

You tried your best to ignore how his throat bobbed when he swallowed, unable to fill the gap in his words. The pooling nerves in your stomach spread, moving dangerously low. That feeling wasn’t good– not now, not with him.

“Like a bride?” You tried to joke, but it came out breathy and wrong. 

JJ attempted to laugh, but it was more like a sharp exhale. Suddenly, his hand reached behind your head, gripping the elastic band holding your hair in place. In a swift movement, he pulled your hair free of its constraints, and it fell in waves over your shoulders.  

“Better,” He whispered, and you felt an unfamiliar ache in your chest. Whatever peculiar reaction JJ was having to seeing you in a white dress needed to be stopped. 

Clearing your throat, you spoke up. “You think this’ll fool everyone?”

That did the trick because JJ chuckled before pulling his arm back. “Between this and the three-act play Sarah’s putting on for the Island, we should be in the clear.” You laughed, agreeing with him. 

“What are you doing out here anyway? I figured we’d keep the shop closed today,” You asked, grabbing a Snickers bar from a shelf. 

JJ snatched the Snickers bar from your hands, ignoring your protests. “I figured I’d keep the shop open for a bit. You were right before about us needing the business.” You didn’t say anything; you watched as JJ tore into the chocolate bar. Eventually, he passed the bar back to you with a shit-eating grin. 

Narrowing your eyes, you took the bar back. Then, you tore a piece of Snickers off and plopped it in your mouth. After a few minutes, neither you nor JJ moved to leave, and you spoke up again. “Are you ready for this?”

JJ laughed humorlessly, “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

You rubbed your lips together, unsure how much you wanted to give away what was running through your head. JJ was the only other person who could relate to you, but being vulnerable was never easy. JJ’s expression changed, his eyes softening.  

“I’m scared, too,” JJ said. You wanted to argue, convince him that you weren’t scared. You wanted to make him think that you were angry and annoyed and displeased beyond belief because admitting you were scared meant admitting there was something with enough power to take you down. You stayed silent. You couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him, but instead, you felt yourself move closer to him. You didn’t say anything, just letting your invasion of his space speak for itself. JJ continued for you.

“I’m worried that all of this’ll be for nothing. We’ll get caught, and it’ll just make the inevitable worse.” Too lost in understanding the look in his eyes, you didn’t notice JJ reaching out until his hand caught ahold of yours. For the fiftieth time in three days, JJ touched you like you were his, his thumb stroking your fingers, and it was getting harder not to let it make you dizzy. The whole marriage thing must’ve been really going to your head because you couldn’t help but feel like the weight of his thumb kept returning to your ring finger. “But I promise you, I’m going to make sure I don’t let it touch you. Any of this.” 

 “I don’t want it to touch you either.” 

You weren’t sure if you meant it, and you were even less sure what compelled you to say it. JJ gave you a slight smile that did nothing to ease your newfound worries, “You don’t worry about me, okay? I’m gonna get you out of this safe.” 

You wanted to argue with him and tell him that he needed to make it out safely, too, but a distant yell interrupted your train of thought before you could reply. 

“JJ, COME DOWN! I GOT YOUR CLOTHES!” 

JJ pulled back, his sad, self-deprecating smile disappearing. “I’ll see you at the finish line, I guess.” He stuck out his hand, his smile changing to the mischievous one that always looked best on him. “Let’s do this.”

“Let’s do this,” You smiled, reaching out to shake his hand. “But after you take a shower.” 

You weren’t very superstitious, but today you wanted to be. Your dad had been extremely superstitious, always telling you to beware of black cats and search extra hard for four-leaf clovers. Today, you wanted to believe that things like a lucky number or knocking on wood could fix up a promising future for you. The weather was pristine – the sun bright and pleasant in the company of a light breeze. The weather was the textbook definition of a perfect day. If it had been your wedding day, you would probably have considered yourself unbelievably lucky. 

You wanted to cling to that belief as John B, Sarah, and JJ walked to the courthouse doors. This was it, the metaphorical calm before the storm. Sarah squeezed your hand tight as you reached the courthouse. You had taken hold of her hand in the Twinkie and hadn’t let go since. 

“This is it,” John B said, wiping his hands against his pants. 

JJ tilted his head, offering a brief nod, “Yup.”

“Do you guys have rings?” Sarah asked, and you wanted to groan. She was taking this entirely too seriously, and it did nothing to calm your nerves. 

“Sarah, we’re nineteen-year-old Pogues. I highly doubt anyone expects us to have rings,” JJ said, and you hadn’t ever been this thankful for him… ever. 

Sarah rolled her eyes, offering you one more squeeze of her hand before letting go. She walked up the five steps of the courthouse building and opened the door for the rest of the group. You and JJ followed John B. and Sarah’s lead as they talked to a few people to see where they should go. John B had called as soon as the courthouse’s office had opened in the morning, but it seemed a bit pointless since there weren’t many people around. That helped with your nerves a little. Not having an audience would make some of this easier. 

JJ, unlike earlier, was the picture of ease. He had put on a pair of John B’s khakis and a pale blue button-down, looking so unlike himself. His messy blond hair, not a trace of gel visible, was the only thing that could remind you that you were about to marry JJ Maybank. He leaned against the counter in front of the plexiglass like it was the counter back at the shop and spoke to the clerk as if he were an old family friend. He handled giving the clerk all the information required, only turning to you for your license – which you’d thankfully gotten a couple of years ago. He was so… JJ about the whole thing. Playing the part so well, as if it was just another one of your schemes. Eventually, the clerk passed a stack of papers through the opening at the bottom of the glass and spoke into his mic. 

“Once you’re ready, we’ll need your signatures on each page, and then you’ll sign this.” He passed a yellow file folder with a paper sticking through the gap. “And that’s it. You’ll be officially married.”

Your fingers shook as you reached forward to pick up the yellow folder. The portion of the paper sticking out said ‘marriage license’ in beautiful, cursive font. You were surprised you weren’t numb to the nerves twisting around your stomach by this point. 

“Whenever you’re ready,” the clerk said, turning away from his computer. You looked up at JJ and then behind him at Sarah.  

“It’s going to be okay, Y/N,” Sarah assured you, but it didn’t help. Her words couldn’t dissuade the nagging voice in your head that you were signing up for your life to become a game. 

“Hey,” JJ turned to look at Sarah and John B before grabbing the papers from the counter and your hand. He led you both to a brown bench at the edge of the room, sitting you down. He took a moment to look around him before crouching in front of you. “I know this is hard, but…” 

“We have to.” You filled in. JJ shook his head immediately. 

“No, we don’t. Somehow, this crazy idea makes sense, but that doesn’t mean we have to. If you say no, then we’ll figure out another way. No one will be mad, and none of this will be your fault.” 

“You wouldn’t be mad?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t. You’re doing me a favor.” You looked at JJ, knelt before you, a hand placed next to your thigh. He was utterly at your mercy and still giving you an out. No pressure, no fallout. Looking at him, you knew what you had to do. 

“No, I’ll do it.” JJ looked at you as if to ask, “Are ​​you sure?” You nodded in reply. “Give me a pen.” 

JJ stood up, sitting down next to you. He pulled out a pen from his pocket, and you wanted to joke about how domesticated the fact that he’d switched out his lighter for a pen was, but all you could bring yourself to do was swallow down the deep breaths of air you were taking in. JJ flipped through each sheet in the stapled stack of papers, signing one line before passing the pen to you and repeating. He’d sign, then you’d sign. He’d sign, then you’d sign. You focused on that pattern through all six sheets, and the flow was only disrupted when JJ waved John B and Sarah over to sign on the witness sections. When JJ finally pulled out the marriage license from its folder, you thought you would have reacted less to it. It was just another four lines, but you still felt its weight as JJ prepared to sign it. You didn’t move your eyes from JJ’s calloused hand– focusing on how his hand moved as he glided the pen over the paper, the sound of the pen clicking when he was done, the sharp crinkle of the paper as he held it out for you. You tried to focus on anything that would distract you from the actual act of signing the papers. 

“Wow,” John B whistled. “You guys are married.” 

You looked up at him, JJ, and the signed papers in front of you. JJ’s face was paler than usual, but there was no indication of his thinking. You tried to smile at Sarah, but you could feel it came out more like a grimace. 

“Alright, you two,” John B said, as the Twinkie near Pope’s parent’s place. “This is when it all matters.”

You wanted to laugh. It didn’t matter when you were manipulating the government? 

“Everyone here needs to believe that you two are surprised by this party, but more than that, they need to believe that you’re in love,” You rolled your eyes. He didn't have to spell it out so much. “That means you need to go full Jarah.”

“Excuse me?” You asked. “What’s a Jarah?”

“Oh God, JB,” JJ groaned, his head falling back against the seat cushion. “That’s cringe even for you.” You looked at John B’s smug grin and Sarah’s love-struck gaze, and you groaned. 

“Is that y’alls couple's name?” You asked. 

“The kids call it a ship name,” John B shrugged. 

“You’re so unbelievably lame,” You nodded at JJ’s words, your posture mirroring his as you rested your head against the seat. 

“Maybe, but I’m also serious. You need to look like a newly wedded couple, which means lots of PDA.” 

You looked at JJ, who seemed just as displeased as you felt. JJ had been quiet since you got in the car, and there was no sign of the boy who’d talked you through the hardest decision of your life.

“So when we get to the backyard, be holding hands and biggggg smiles. Got it?” You regretted any time you’d privately praised John B’s leadership skills. JJ was the first to exit the car, closing the door once all of you had gotten out and following behind the group. When you reached the fence of Pope’s childhood home, JJ’s entire demeanor shifted. His shoulder rose, a small smile painted his lips, and you swore his cheeks somehow turned redder. He placed his hand out for you, waiting for you to take it. 

You walked hand in hand through the makeshift fence Heyward must’ve built years ago, the sound of music and the smell of barbecue filling your senses. As people began to come into view, you dropped your jaw. Except it wasn’t an act because you were in genuine shock. You’d assumed the party would consist of  Pope’s parents, maybe Kie’s, and a couple of JJ’s acquaintances from high school. What you hadn’t expected was for what seemed like the entirety of The Cut to be populating Heyward’s backyard. From JJ’s expression, he also didn’t expect to see this many people. 

The crowd erupted in cheers, chants of the couple’s names being heard from various corners. You felt JJ’s hand tighten around yours, but when you looked at him, he seemed to melt into the noise. His lips rounded into a cheer and settled into a wide grin as he took in the crowd. In this crowd, JJ was in his element. With the attention, noise, and chaos, he could guide you through the rest of the evening and you could have the chance of getting out of this without being caught. You followed JJ’s lead, smiling brightly, and felt relieved when Cleo came to give you a big hug. 

“Who knew you were such a great actress,” You mumbled to Cleo, who was holding onto you with a death grip.

“The hug’ss not because I’m happy for you,” Cleo whispered back. “I’m sorry, Y/N/N. But it’s all going to be okay.” When she pulled back, you didn’t have the time to sit in that moment with Cleo because all your friends followed her lead.  

“JJ,” You and JJ looked up to see all six feet something of Mr. Heyward standing in front of you and you immediately felt your palms dampen. This interaction would possibly be the hardest one to sell. 

“Heyward,” JJ let go of your hand and threw his palm out to shake the hand of someone you knew had played the part of a father to him. You wondered if lying to Heyward might be one of the more challenging parts for JJ, but if it was, he didn’t let it show and instead played the part he had to effortlessly. “Thanks for all of this,” He made a show of taking in his surroundings and letting out a low whistle. “It means a lot.” 

Heyward’s expression was painfully untrusting, and you wished you could wither away when he turned to look at you. Over the past two years, as Pope and Cleo’s relationship transitioned from platonic to damn near a married couple, you had frequented the Heywards’ house almost as much as Cleo. When you’d returned from Poguelandia, Heyward had housed you without a second thought, and ever since then, he’d treated you like his own. Lying to him felt worse than a betrayal, even if you’re sure he would’ve understood the situation. Well, maybe not the entire situation. 

“Sure was surprised when I heard Pope tell me this was happening,” Heyward said. The glare he would give you kids whenever he knew something was amiss, boring into you. 

You must’ve looked like a fish out of water with your mouth opening and closing, searching for an adequate response. Luckily, JJ spoke up for both of you. His arm rounded across your shoulders as he drew you closer to him. 

“I know it’s hard to believe., but when you know, you know, right?” 

Heyward hummed, his arms crossing across his chest and then uncrossing again. Pointing his finger as he spoke, he said, “You know, I’m just not sure how I didn’t see this happening, is all.”

JJ leaned in towards you, making a show of failing to whisper, “I’m sure he doesn’t see a lot of things nowadays–”

“Oh, you think you’re funny, huh, lil shit,” With that, Heyward was back to his usual level of annoyance with JJ, and you could breathe a little easier. “Y/N, you got anything to say?”

You cleared your throat, “It’s been a whirlwind, but I’m really happy.”

You didn’t look at JJ as you said it and knew you needed to, but lying had never been your strong suit. When you and Cleo were still with Terrance, you usually worked in the shadows while Cleo set up the distractions in the spotlight. It was easier for you that way. This whole wedding sham had made the two of you switch roles, and you didn’t have enough time to prepare. 

“I don’t know what whirlwind you’ve found yourself in now, but I’m sure I don’t need to teach you that marriage is no joke.” If only Heyward knew how deeply familiar you were with the fact that marriage was anything but humorous. “Be smart. And you,” Heyward looked back at JJ, his features stern. “Be good to her. Or Cleo and I won’t leave a body to be found.”

You finally laughed at that, and in a moment of feeling genuinely carefree, you wrapped your arm around JJ’s torso. You wouldn’t have even noticed you did it if JJ hadn’t brushed the bare skin of your shoulder and drawn your attention to just how close you were. Despite your unusual affection, neither of you moved from your entanglement. As you moved around the party, meeting acquaintances and a couple of JJ’s cousins, you thought you could’ve sold the whole thing with how close you two were. You doubted you were Sarah and John B’s level of affectionate, but even if JJ had been the love of your life, you didn’t think you’d be the kind of person to have that much of a public display anyway. 

The sun would begin setting soon, and as you looked around the backyard, you felt nostalgia for something you had never had. Weddings were one of those things so many girls grew up dreaming about, spending hours thinking up the dress of their dreams and how they’d decorate their venue. You’d never had the chance to think of those things, but looking around you, you thought maybe this was precisely what you would’ve asked for. The decorations were as simple as they could be. Cleo and Pope had strung some fairy lights– probably Kie’s– through a few trees and from the roof's ledge. It was cook-out style for food– grills being manned by dads and barbecue being served fresh to each person. Music was playing in the background, but it wasn’t a perfectly curated playlist of love songs. From what you’d heard since you walked in, it was probably just the playlist Pope usually put on when he got speaker control during hangouts. It was the most Pogue, life on The Cut-esque wedding, but it was more than enough for you. For a minute, you could close your eyes and pretend this was a party being hosted for any other reason, sending a fuzzy feeling from your heart throughout your body. It was all you’d ever wanted. To be loved, to belong. It didn’t matter how you got here, but you had.  

The upbeat tempo of a Kendrick song was replaced by the much slower tempo of an unsettlingly familiar song. The opening notes of Can’t Help Falling In Love rang through the settling crowd, the blend of the piano and electric guitar muffling Heyward’s voice as he called you and JJ to the center of the yard. You barely processed the awkward look JJ shot you, too distracted by the churning feeling in your stomach, returning more vigorous than it had all day. You hated this song. There were too many memories of watching your parents dance around the kitchen while Elvis played in the background. You used to watch them in awe of the love they shared, the way your father would melt into your mother’s arms. It was almost like the song had created a self-fulfilling prophecy about how your parents' relationship would play out. A love that had felt as sure as the flow of the river to the sea had taken your father’s life. It had taken your life. 

JJ’s hand led you to the clearing all the onlookers had created as he mumbled about having no choice. You looked around, all these people who would never know what you were thinking. You were thinking about this life that you dreamed of a couple of years ago and many years before, you wouldn’t have understood. That girl watching her parents in the kitchen wouldn’t have understood any of this, and your heart broke for her in a way that you never had before. It was making it difficult to push past the pounding in your ears and the bile rising in your throat. JJ’s free hand came to rest on your waist, and when your eyes met, he gave you a tense smile. 

Your right hand rested on his shoulder, mindlessly mirroring how you’d seen your parents do this a hundred times. JJ, you soon found out, wasn’t much of a dancer. His steps were clumsy, either too wide or too short. He tried to lead your movements, picking up on how you’d gone rigid, but he lacked just as much fluidity. You knew what the crowd was expecting. They wanted to see magic, the tender moments between two young people looking forward to every joyful second of their intertwined lives. The way you and JJ were moving was the polar opposite– the stiff movement highlighting how out of sync you two truly were. JJ’s movements were harsh and rushed, and you were grateful that he had switched out his workboots for a pair of John B’s Converse because, in a span of two minutes, he’d stepped on your toes three times. 

“Shit– sorry,” JJ mumbled, his covered foot landing on your toes a fourth time, effectively making you wince. He was so focused on his missteps that he likely wasn’t noticing the judgemental side glances you were receiving from the crowd, but you did. Something about the combination of your embarrassment and the painful memories of your youth had your eyes welling with tears. You didn’t cry. Not just in front of others, but never. It’s like your tears had dried up all those years ago, but now, with this stupid, stupid song playing, you couldn’t stop them. 

“Swear I’m not usually–” JJ stopped his defense when he looked at you, his eyes widening. The tears hadn’t fallen, but it was probably evident with how close JJ was to you. JJ looked around, snapping his head in various directions until he finally found whatever or whoever he was looking for. He twisted his pointer finger in a circular motion twice, and you noticed Pope quickly shuffling with his phone. The music didn’t change immediately, and JJ kept his hands firmly against you, but he slowed his swaying. Instead, he held you still and pulled you into his body. It was like he was trying to shield you from everything outside the two of you, and you took refuge in his arms without a second thought. He whispered against your temple, “I got you.” 

The haunting melody of Can’t Help Falling In Love was finally replaced with the rhythmic, upbeat tune of My Girl by The Temptations. JJ, firmly pressed against you, pulled back quickly and let out an unrestrained “WOO!” He snapped in tune with the music, his movements much more liquid than earlier. The weight of the earlier song still felt like it was being pressed against you, but the energy of this song was entirely different, and it seemed to infect JJ. He had a cheeky grin and looked just like the charming-to-a-fault boy you knew despite the clothes that didn’t belong to him and the rare bursts of softness you had witnessed today. 

“I’ve got sunshine,” He sang along with Ron Tyson, and if it had been any other artist, you might have thought he was giving them a run for their money. His voice was smoother than you would’ve expected. He didn’t have the voice of a trained vocalist, but his North Carolina accent mixed with the natural timbre of his voice made for something captivating. The smile he’d brought to your face grew as he stepped towards you, his shoulder moving in time with the song. 

“I guess you say,” He sang, his eyebrows raised with intention as he looked at you. Your laughter bubbled over, already knowing where he was headed with this. “What can make me feel this way?” 

You made a show of annoyance with his antics, but as he took your hand and spun you around three times– once for each time Tyson sang ‘my girl’-- your delight was unfeigned. After the third spin, JJ crossed your arms in front of you, hauling your back against his chest. You peered up at him over your shoulder, your noses brushing, and his grin was like the sun peeking through on a cloudy day. 

The crowd had begun to join you on the makeshift stage, but you were too caught up in the song and how much fun you were having with JJ. These were the moments you remembered from Poguelandia, which felt like a lifetime ago now— the carefree feeling JJ brought to your life that you had desperately needed then. 

JJ’s antics only got more humorous when the song's instrumental part began to play. He used the opportunity to do his infamous two-step, shooting you a cocky smirk and throwing his arms out at either side of him, inviting competition. 

“That all you got?” You asked, and JJ made a show of stepping back and offering you the floor. You weren’t sure what you were doing, but you took the space and let your hips move in tune with the music. The song wasn’t seductive by any means, but it was groovy, and you felt confident in how your body moved with it. From the impressed look on JJ’s face, he seemed to agree, and you giggled as he inched closer slowly, wrapping a loose arm around your waist. 

As the song reached its final verse, John B and Sarah had made their way over to you. JJ and John B looked at each other, tilting their heads in unison and pointing at each other. Suddenly, JJ was spinning you over, and John B took ahold of your hand. John B was a much worse singer than JJ, but your laughter wasn’t deterred for a moment as he led you through the rest of the dance. You made eye contact with Sarah, who shot you a wink and lovingly rolled her eyes when JJ spun her. John B followed suit by turning you in towards him, whispering in your ear. 

“That had to sell it.” 

taglist: @theater-bitch @ayy1234567 @tpwkyarely @loves animals0000 @B3rryb3t @mvaldez7821 @ummmmokaynotme @velyssaraptor @chloemaybank @sandaltoesocks @thexplosivegirl @rudypankowisbae @marleymarleymarleymarley @snowtargaryen @awurtzx06 @yumwhy @rudypankowisbae @kanpaeki

[myjealouseyes]

Request from 🦄 anon: During the Battle of Hogwarts, Wolfstar!daughter is wounded and has a vision of James and Lily telling her to keep fighting for her life and for Harry’s sake

Send a Drabble request here

Content warnings: death. (Temporary.)

A/N — made this a little different!

Everything around you moves in slow motion as a sharp beam of powerful light blasts through you, knocking you against a wall. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as it gets harder and harder to breathe. In an instant, everything has gone white and you’re standing in the middle of nothing. As your eyes squint to adjust to the bright nothingness, two figures make their way toward you from beyond. They’re steady and without rush, like they have all the time in the world. Firery red hair comes into focus first, then a mop of messy curly hair accompanying it.

As they come closer, you recognize two faces you had only seen through pictures. James and Lily Potter, standing in front of you. Huh. That could only mean…

“Am I dead?” You say, calmer than you feel about the ordeal. Maybe it hasn’t set in yet. James and lily look at each other for a split second, contemplating the complexity of the of the situation. They look just as they did in your dads’ photo album. Unnervingly young and full of the life they never got to live. You’re not sure what to make of them, this place, or anything really.

“Well…not dead.” James considers carefully. “At least not yet anyway.” Your eyes widen slowly. Sensing your Impending freak out, Lily slap his arm and gives him an unimpressed look. He only gives her a sheepish, but loving grin in return. “No, you’re not dead. You can still go back.” She says gently. “All you have to do is want it.”

You hesitate. That’s all? That’s all it took, and you could go home? It was simple. Too simple almost. So why were you hesitating? You wanted to go home, didn’t you? But go home to what? The thought nags at the back of your mind, reminding you that if you choose to go back you’d putting yourself back in the ongoing cycle death, destruction, and lost. The fear that weighed on your shoulders. You could free yourself from all of it. Finally be at peace. It was very temping.

“It’s a tough decision.”James acknowledges. “But still one worth making.” Your eyebrows furrow with uncertainty. The truth is, you were tired. Exhausted even. And you missed your dads. More than anything. If you went back, you’d be stuck missing them again. Probably forever.

“What about Harry?” Lily says, her voice gentle, but teetering on the edge of desperation. As if she could read your thoughts about staying. (She probably could. Your dad always told you she had a way of seeing through people) “it’s tough, but you have so much to live for.” Your hand touches your shoulder and suddenly, all of the memories of you and Harry come flooding back. Everytime you’ve shared a kiss, a laugh, a hug, in the face of all the pain you two’ve experienced. Suddenly, you feel a longing for his touch stronger than any exhaustion you’ve ever experienced. That’s when you realize what’s made everything so bearable. Harry.

Harry.

If you decided to stay you’d be leaving him alone; something you’ve promised never to do to each other when things got tough. You’re supposed to be there, fighting along side him and the rest of your friends. If you stayed, you’d be cursed to watch them fight. unable to do anything as they fought for their lives. And if they won, you’d have to watch Harry cope with losing his love and the last of his family.

You knew what you had to do. The second you felt strong enough to do it, your eyes go fuzzy again. The last thing you see is James and lily’s proud faces before they disappear with the white light and your eyes open once more. As you come back to your senses the first thing you feel is your wand clutched tightly in your hand. You sit up, with every intention set helping on finishing this fight on top.

[aziraphales-library]

Hey :) thanks for all you do for the fandom!

I was wondering, can you recommend any good (canon-verse) fics that have Crowley and/or Aziraphale being temporarily human or loosing their powers (and having to deal with what that entails)? I'm asking specifically for temporarily because I've found plenty that have them turn human for good but somehow couldn't figure out a way to search for ones where it's temporary.

Thank you already and I hope you have a lovely day!

We have a #turned human tag, and some of the summaries specify "temporarily", so look for those. There's not really a way to search for fics where there's not permanently human, other than skipping to the end to check. So that's what I spent ages doing...

Damned to Humanity by Justanothernerdsstuff (T)

“I thought,” Aziraphale said, his smile starting to shift. “That I was already excused from heavenly duties. Seeing how my last visit upstairs went,” He noted, silently thanking Crowley for stepping into that fire for him. “You were. But this,” He flicked the card towards Aziraphale and it swayed through the air until it rested at his feet. “Is much more than being excused. You’ve fallen,” Gabriel clarified. *** Aziraphale falls, but Hell doesn't want him any more than Heaven does. As a result, he is turned human. Trigger warning: the possibility of death is briefly mentioned.

human nature by attheborder (T)

When you’re talking about bodies locked in orbit, forever circling each other, it takes two to tango. Forces opposed; action and reaction. One, and the other.  But the blank-slate version of Aziraphale sleeping beside Crowley in this cold little bed had no fear of Heaven, no fear of Falling. Not even a fear of snakes. He only had, as all humans did, the knowledge of good and bad, and the ability to make a choice. *** Crowley must turn Aziraphale human in order to hide him from Heaven. (Inspired by/fusion with Doctor Who’s Human Nature/Family of Blood arc)

Human Incarnate by nikkiRA (M)

“They think I’m immune to demon fire, see,” Aziraphale said, in a slightly airy voice. “So they had to… get creative.” “Aziraphale, what. Did. They. Do?” “Can’t you tell?” Aziraphale gave a little laugh. This must be what shock felt like. “Can’t you sense it?” He grabbed Crowley’s hand and pressed it to his chest, so the demon could feel his rapidly beating, very human heart. “I’m a human now, my dear. Very, very mortal.” Aziraphale is punished. Crowley refuses to accept it. Shenanigans, feelings, and plots ensue.

It's Not the Fall (It's the Landing) by Ginger_Cat (E)

To save each other from Heaven and Hell, Aziraphale and Crowley become human. Things, predictably, do not go as planned. Crowley thought about what he’d come there to do. He thought about what it meant, in the context of God’s warning. Really thought. There wouldn’t be hopping from restaurant to restaurant with his best friend for the next six thousand years (give or take). There wouldn’t be any more miracles, or tempting. There wouldn’t be any skirting Hell’s wrath for eternity. And when it was over, the deepest, darkest, horriblest pits would be reserved for him. Crowley said, “Will you make me human, too?”

The Human Dilemma by theshoparoundthecorner (G)

“That’s not possible. How could my eyes just change overnight?” Crowley snapped his fingers. The mirror remained stubbornly shattered. He looked up at Aziraphale, face pale. Aziraphale took a step forward. “Like I said, I think something’s happened.” “What’s going on? Why isn’t it working?” Crowley snapped his fingers again, his agitation growing. Aziraphale placed a hand on his shoulder. “Crowley, let’s leave the mirror be for now and talk this over. I’ll make us some tea, or coffee, or whatever you’d like. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to for either of us be around broken glass at the moment.” Crowley nodded, taking Aziraphale’s hand and stepping over the shards to safety. Aziraphale could feel his hand shaking in his. “Crowley,” he said, “I need you to take a deep breath.” “Why? I don’t need to breathe.” “Yes, I rather think you do. I think we both do.” “Angel, what is going on?” Aziraphale reached forward and placed a hand on Crowley’s chest, feeling a strong heartbeat racing beneath it. Crowley reached forward and did the same. “Crowley,” Aziraphale said after a moment, afraid to speak the truth into being, “I think we may be human.”

And because I know someone will mention it if I don't...

Pray For Us, Icarus by Atalan (Series) (G-T)

For three centuries, Crowley has been reincarnated over and over as a human with no memory of his past. Aziraphale has tried to find a way to restore him to his true self, but all he seems to do is hurt them both. This time, he only means to steal a brief moment when he walks into Crowley's flower shop. But Crowley can't let it go...

- Mod D

[barcaluvv]

Lamine yamal x reader You and Yamal, the bond of friendship, which no one could ever separate, whether together or not at all, but as they say, a man can only kill his happiness because of feelings, but this time they both separated their wires that held many years of friendship.

One night, everything snapped and huge feelings came out of you both.

You were talking, you were sitting on the very bench, talking about irrelevant things, because you were both thinking the same thing, and if only you knew that, everything would be different. Yamal was teasing you with the book he was holding tight in his slender arms,grabbing your pens away as you were just out of class, second shift, laughing loudly and not caring about what others thought but yet not a single soul was seen. You felt like the while city was sleeping, as your paths will slowly diverge any moment from now. When you calmed down a bit Lamine said something condescending, his voice shaking not from cold but from fear "Can I tell you something?but dont be mad okay?" He was admiring your hair slowly but precisely fluttering in the wind, he looked at every line that your smile leaves, all that persuaded him to say what he was going to say now. "Listen y/n" he grabbed you by your palms, creasing your hair, tucking every strain of hair behind your ear, slowly and softly. He clings to you, his voice barely above a whisper "I feel so guilty sometimes... like I'm such a burden on you. I want to be perfect for you." he sniffles, looking down at the leaves falling from the branch.

"What are you trying to say?" U get worried. Tears form in his eyes as he continues "I'm scared too, ... scared of losing you. You mean everything to me." he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself "I just want to make you proud and happy, but i cant continue like this, i wake up everyday thinking about how my emotions tremble against your will, not being enough to express them to you, i love you y/n, u have every right to be mad at me and leave, and end our conversation forever but you cant run from the feeling of guilt" he sobs uncontrollably, burying his face in the cold current wind, that was trying to remove a tear from his cheeks ... I need you so much. he clings to you tightly, his entire body shaking from the intensity of his emotions "I don't want to lose you."

"Now maybe i did threw 7 years of friendship away in 5 minutes of speech but, ive waited for these few minutes my entire life now I'd have to break our contact." Said lamine with tear drops falling off his eyes, down to his sweatshirt. This all happened too fast, you're literally out of words but this sentence felt powerful. "Maybe we are soulmates after all".

Lamine wipes off his tears, trying to act tough not understanding your words. "What? What do you mean?".

Lamine, u lean closer feeling his heartbeat acrobat as u get to him.

"The truth is, ive been meaning to tell you that too, but also many thing more such as that my family is moving back to Portugal, this is my last goodbye my love". He sits in shock, feeling his empty-handed heart break in pieces, watching it flow like ashes.

He stands up, kisses your forehead soflty, not leaving any hope after it.

He pulls you tightly,holding you for seconds, treating them like years not wasting any of them, atleast that's not wasted besides the love potential we had.

He pulls away, giving you a bracelet, which says "Why not this universe"

that was written on the black buttons, like he was prepared for this. "Let this be a remember, it might be temporary but my love for you wasn't." He starts walking away, the streets carried him off, and poof suddenly our love too. Two months later, you found out he burned himself down. You were devastated, it took you so many months to put yourself together after this. 6 months passed, you heard a loud knocking on your door, it's better if you didn't open them, just like that I found out that the police was holding a paper, that was apparently held by Yamal when he died. The letter said "when you quietly told me that I won't be able to do without you. X your Lamine." That was supposed to be shifted the same night to Portugal. With a bracelet next to it.

[misseviehyde]

INBUILT SUPERIORITY

Chris wanted to lose... he wanted to fail. But he couldn't.

Ashley's body, his temporary home, was fighting back and resisting. Muscle memory and emotions were over-riding his will to make him want to win.

A desire to be the best - to be the hottest, most popular, most bitchy cheerleader in the school had overtaken him and he couldn't seem to stop himself.

His head was in a daze and when his lips moved it felt like someone else was speaking. He moved with perfect feminine grace; routines and manoeuvres he had never practised coming effortlessly to him.

The other girls looked at him with shining eyes. They wanted to BE him. They recongised their natural leader. One by one each of them was falling in line, coming over to his side.

In the corner, his sister was being isolated. The girls were moving away from her as if she were a leper. There were bitter tears in her eyes, tears of resentment and rage.

Chris felt his pussy get wet.

******

This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Possessing the hated Ashley had been Lucy's idea. The Head cheerleader was graduating and a new leader was needed. This was finally a chance for someone like Lucy to wrest control of the squad and turn them from a cruel, mean, clique of self-obssessed bitches into a kinder more gentler squad.

She just needed a way to undermine Ashley, to prevent the upcoming bitch exerting her influence on the squad and becoming the Head cheerleader.

Chris had agreed to cast a spell that turned him into a ghost. Then last night he'd flowed into Ashley whilst she slept and took control.

Now - it was as if Chris had never existed. As the person who had cast the spell, only Lucy remembered the old him. Only together could they reverse the spell and return him to full life.

Or he could stay as Ashley forever.

The thought was thrilling.

From the first moment he'd opened her eyes and sat up in bed he'd known he was in trouble. He just felt so fucking good and at home in her body.

Chris loved his new tits and his long blonde hair. He liked how rich his family was, how good it felt to be spoiled. Ashley's pussy was amazing and her popularity and influence intoxicating.

She was just naturally superior. No matter who was inside her body, they would always be better than other people.

The bottom line was that Chris couldn't fail, because Ashley was just naturally superior. Her power was inbuilt.

He couldn't help it if he was so fucking pretty now. It wasn't his fault that his body was so bendy and flexible. He knew he had been meant to throw the Head Cheerleader trials - but it had felt GOOD to be better than everyone else, to see others worshipping him.

His slutty pink mouth twitched into a smirk of superiority. He looked at the girls. They were all his now. The coach was already walking over with thr Head Cheerleadera uniform to give him.

His eyes flicked to Lucy. She was sobbing, looking at him with pleading eyes.

His smirk grew.

God... she was so fucking pathetic. So useless and weak. He looked down at his body and felt his pussy get even wetter.

"Fuck you Ashley. This is my body now. I can't go back to being a loser. I'm taking it all and becoming you."

The new Ashley tossed her hair with a natural motion and giggled as she took the uniform from the coach.

"Thanks coach. I'll be the best Head Cheerleader ever. I only have one little request. Can we throw that crying little bitch Lucy off the squad?"

He nodded and Ashley clapped her hands excitedly.

The other girls surrounded her and Ashley felt the thrill of being a Queen Bee surrounded by drones.

She grinned as her friends whispered in her ear that her boyfriend the quarterback was waiting in the locker room with his big dick out and he had asked her to wear her new uniform and no knickers.

Giddy at the thought of getting fucked, Ashley walked away to find him, not even sparing a glance at Lucy who was being kicked off the squad.

Some people were built inferior and for others like her, it just came naturally...

[iwriteloveletters]

Imaginary (Eren x Reader Oneshot)

TW - MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, NOT PROOFREAD

WORDS - 694

You didn't know where you were, one second you were at war and now you're outside; in front of you was a little house on the countryside.

A little girl came outisde and said her father wanted to speak to you, her father? Who was she and who was her father?

The little girl had the brightest green eyes and long brown hair, she looked just like Eren if he had been a little girl. She must have been around ten years old.

"Who are you little one?" You asked.

Her head turned to the side, "Alana? Your daughter? Are you okay?"

You gasped, when did you have a child? This must have been a dream.

You then decided to follow her into the home that must be yours to find Eren holding a second child, this one was less than a year old. According to Alana this was a baby boy named Noah.

"Eren?"

"Hey, come upstairs with me. I want to talk to you. Alana will be alright."

You nodded and he got up and began to make his way upstairs with Noah in hand.

As you walked to the stairs there were pictures on the walls of your little family, Alana as a baby where Eren holds her proudly. His first and only girl, and then another set of photos of you three adoring Noah.

This is exactly the life you want, a boy and a girl with Eren.

You find yourselves in your shared bedroom, there you see your wedding photos showcased, these photos were in beautiful white and gold frames. You fell in love in such a special way.

"I wanted to do this for you." He broke the silence which brought you back to reality. You remembered this wasn't real. Eren did this.

"Thanks..." You held back your tears, this would be your last moments with Eren and you won't even remember them.

"I would've loved having our own Alana and Noah." He chuckled.

You nodded, you wanted to beg him to stay but you know that wasn't possible.

"C'mon, answer me. Don't be so cold."

You didn't know what to say or what to do. You wanted to hug him, kiss him goodbye, or even ask him to somehow keep you here forever. You wanted him to stay with you forever.

The false reality he made for you can become real, if you two simply stayed there.

"No, we can't stay my love. This was just for a little bit, everything is temporary." It felt like he read your mind, but he simply loved you and your mind so much that he knew the way you thought.

You balled your hands into fists, you wanted to yell about how this wasn't fair and how this wasn't fair at all for anyone.

You burst into tears, you can't hate him. You saw him grow into such a selfless and dumb man, you can't ever bring yourself to hate him.

"I love you, I've loved you so much for so long."

"I know, I gave you our dream. One of many."

You didn't want to let go, not yet. Eren had all this power, all you wanted was more time. You needed more time.

He put Noah down in his crib and walked over and held you one last time, before he disappeared this was the exact way he held you. He caressed the back of your head with one hand and used his free arm to wrap his hands tighter around your waist.

It feels the exact same way because this is how he held you before he left, now he's leaving for good.

"Please, Eren." You begged one last time.

"No, (Y/N)." He said.

You could feel your shared dream coming to end now, his grip getting lighter and the sounds of Alana giggling downstairs and Noah cooing fading out. This was it, this is the closest you'll get to having a family with him.

"Do you think we'll see each other again?"

"Maybe..."

This answer was good enough for you, you finally let yourself let go of him once and for all. But if it was up to you, you'd die in his arms with him. You'd let him sacrifice you for humanity had he asked.

"Goodbye, Eren. I'll miss you."

You were back where you once were, and from a distance there was Mikasa holding his head sobbing.

There will be no seeing each other again.

Authors note - Hi guys!! This is a super short oneshot so I hope you enjoy, I'll try to put out some headcanons later today or on tuesday! In other news, I'll be putting longer fics and oneshots on my AO3 account. The user is livelaughjaeger ! So far I have Rosemary (One shot) and my new series Without You, I have two chapters out right now! If you check it out I hope you enjoy!! - Cherub

[cubitodragon-moved]

I feel like Forever will be the one to finally discover and intervene in regards to the soul vultures - and it’s not going to end well for him or BadBoyHalo when he does.

Q!Forever is so worried about Q!Bad, has expressed to multiple people that he knows how fragile he is. And I think many overlook that he told Bad that he remembered everything that happened while he was drugged. A passenger in his own body.

Meaning he knows what he said to Bad, that he likely remembers proposing - and he remembers the exact state Bad was in at the time. His language, his words, the tired stoop and how Bad was collapsing in on himself. Bad is coping just as badly as he is, on the opposite side of the pendulum’s swing.

He’s determined to give him a flower every day to cheer him up (no roses, yet), but he knows it’s not enough, he’s watching his friend fade away before his eyes and he’s scared. The affirmation room was a really wonderful gift, and I think it helped - emotionally. But it too is not enough on its own, a temporary harbour during stormy seas.

Action is what will truly bring change over words for these two - after all, actions are what have cause trust to waver, compared to words and prank wars and lies told with a straight face that both parties know are lies.

In addition, out of game, Forever (the CC) is essentially going to be offline for most of next month due to gatherings, conventions and traveling. so getting his character taken out of play for a bit in a manner that doesn’t directly involve the Federation this time seems likely - retreading the same ground is no fun. And Forever has also expressed excitement over Bad’s plans for Bad’s own character’s arc. They’re a pair of cheeky enablers, and they both love their complicated cat’s cradle tangle of a relationship that they’ve got going on - they wouldn’t indulge so fully if they didn’t. The CCs trust each other to tell a good story together, and I think that’s neat.

Which is why I think in trying to save Q!Bad from himself, Q!Forever is going to take a blow not intended for him. An action with a consequence neither foresee. Coupled with the morals balancing act Bad’s got going on with Baghera, I think the fallout of these respective efforts is going to be a shock to the BadBoyHalo core that finishes what his Skeppy-confided doubts started.

Or maybe it won’t. Bad is so unpredictable.

But so is Forever. And Forever considers Bad his family. That’s a powerful force - one Bad is going to underestimate, because I don’t think he’s had many people in his life willing to go that sort of distance for him.

I have a feeling that today’s streams are going to be interesting.

(Apparently first thing when I wake up and last thing before I sleep is when my brain goes off on meta tangents. Go figure!)

[phosphoresccent]

phosphor goes mining for lore in voltz, the post, part 3

warnings for: my inescapable xephos bias, honeyphos agenda, past members who were in voltz, excessive reaching on my part

episodes 11 -15 under the cut

xeph and honeydew being scared of the sounds the endermen make vs lalna just finding them obnoxious - love it

honeydew makes first contact (derogatory) with ridge and gets poisoned for his troubles.

episode 12 is The Bomb, which i think we all remember, but put very shortly: sips and sjin blow up a world-ending forever-bomb, ridge tries to fix it with admin/god powers, can't, recruits lalna and xephos to fix it - xeph fixes it (though not after his first reaction to being teleported to a horrific bomb site being PLACING TORCHES i love xeph so much), we go back to normal after burring the sipsco base back into the mountain.

the treaty: i do like how honeydew is apparently the most neutral party here. he is. very much not, but its funny we are going with this. lalna signed his name with a little ! after it which is very cute.

honeydew,,, lore? - he signed the treaty: Honeydew of Khaz Modan, son of Gimli, son of Glion, son of Grion, Son of Dave. so if you ever need some members of his family - there you go! presumably dwarves use the nordic patrilineal "[fathersname]son" or "[fathersname]dottir" style of last names? so Honeydew Gimlison is a lore complaint full name

"no more messing around with powers out of your control" xeph. i think you should have headed your own warning.

"it must have been that cave in at sipsco that we don't talk about, because it was so traumatic that i can barely remember" we can take that a few fun ways - does xeph have poor memory for stressful situations (ie, dissociative amnesia) or did his temporary godhood leave a bit more of a mark than previously considered?

xeph completely unimpressed by the idea of a plasma canon is very funny

there is something about the way xeph treats his own mistakes vs the way he treats others - like when lalna or honeydew fuck up he'll snap at them and go run in to fix it, but ultimately doesn't give it another moments thought, compared to the way he lets his own mistakes build and expand because he can't stop worrying at them like loose teeth, but he never asks for help.

videos for the 'xeph is scared of the dark' pile: 2 (something about the contrast of a coal torch and an in progress particle accelerator is sending me)

honeydew being good with and liking animals is a fun character quirk considering he's a dwarf raised in the depths of a mountain - might have been one of the reasons he left in the first place (other than his love of space, which seems to also be canon to some extent)

"its good to familiarize yourself with being dropped in lava, so you know what to expect" <- another incidence of something lewis saying being funny, but in context of the character xephos being deeply concerning. he would do stuff like that though, wouldn't he?

radiation poisoning counter ticks up by 1 2 3 4 (first xeph i think!) 5

lalna 🤝 me : unable to read clocks

xeph tripping over his own words and getting gently bullied by honeydew, yeah i'll add that to the headcanon list.

i have somehow not mentioned comrade yet, but i love him.

xeph bullying honeydew for his fragile little house and then instantly going to hide it from other people so they can't damage it is very sweet

the reactor has broken again and the boys recreate the "this is not a place of honour" nuclear warning sign.

the 'do not cheat' treaty has lasted exactly 2 episodes, well done everyone.

this isn't lore but them all laughing helplessly at their own ineptitude is very cute

honeydew and lalna on an epic adventure to the nether, certainly nothing bad will come of this.

[omgkalyppso]

For Étoile, Borgakh, and Meabh from ship questions redux!

PRE-RELATIONSHIP:

3. Who felt romantic feelings first?

7. How do their friends and family feel about them as a couple?

GENERAL:

9. Who gets jealous easier?

12. Do they hide anything from each other, big or small?

LOVE:

8. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

14. Who is more protective? Who would get into a fight to defend the other? Who tends to the other's wounds?

DOMESTIC LIFE:

10. Who is more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the mornings?

13. Do they have any "couple traditions", or family traditions?

Thank you for the ask! (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) I'll stick to their longest lasting relationship for Étoile (Astarion) and Meabh (Enver), and I think for Borgakh I'll talk about a non bg3 version of her ... redesigning a d&d setting lover of hers for the nth time for this ask game, people might remember him as Ga'el, Iberis, or Aveillor (people more likely don't remember them at all). I'm calling him Iberis again.

This post is long as hell. If you open it and experience regret on desktop, you can press J to skip this post.

3. Who felt romantic feelings first?

Astarion. Étoile was fine with things remaining casual / with the presumption that things were temporary. It was Astarion who first falsely implied that he wanted something more with the whole confusion caused by Étoile and Wyll sharing a kiss; and then who truthfully, but indirectly, set his hopes after the Araj Oblodra situation.

Enver. Meabh was still going through feelings like "joy," "security" and "possession" for the first few years of their relationship before she hit on romance. It was perhaps their third time sleeping together that Enver realized that there was more than friendship and Meabh's curiosity fuelling his (arguably bad) decision to continue finding intimacy with the maniac (I think he didn't even know she was a bhaalspawn yet).

Borgakh. I think she has a really hard time saying it / communicating it, and I like to envision an italicized "Oh" moment for Iberis where he ("average height," maybe 5'07" / 170 cm) wakes up wrapped in Borgakh's ("huge," 7'03" / 221 cm) thick arms, and the weight (ha!) of her attachment makes his own immediately inescapable.

7. How do their friends and family feel about them as a couple?

Astarion's vampiric siblings largely come to love Étoile. Yousen and Violet take the longest to come around. With the exceptions of Leon and Violet, who are kind of uninvested in Étoile and Astarion's relationship, Astarion's siblings are more defensive of Étoile than Astarion when difficulties make their (Étoile and Astarion's) relationship feel more delicate. Petras makes a "pass" at Étoile during one of these early moments, and doesn't do this explicitly after Étoile is turned to a vampire, but Aurelia warns Astarion of Petras' ongoing questionable behaviour at that time. It isn't because Petras specifically disapproves of Étoile and Astarion's relationship, but he 1. is initially covetous of Étoile as the only permanent living being among the vampires and spawn in the Underdark in those early days and 2. is ultimately attracted to the power Étoile easily holds over the vampires and spawn.

Astarion's relationship to his living parents, Antoinelle and Rasileth, is forever strained, and I think they wouldn't understand various decisions he and Étoile make over the course of their acquaintance and the breadth of their history, and that part of that comes with Étoile and Astarion being unable to fully trust these extremely normal people with the full context of their lives. Antoinelle believe Étoile uses fair but ultimately deceitful and self-serving language, and that Astarion would ultimately have sought to repair his relationship to her and Rasileth more earnestly if not for them and the Spawn. Rasileth has less compunctions tied up in his gratitude that Astarion could yet live, and happily, and more easily expresses fondness over how Étoile and Astarion seem to defend one another and how this has affected his own life and Faerûn (at least in so far as the defeat of Cazador and the Absolute plot).

Étoile's living adoptive drow mother, Aranea, is far more accepting of Astarion than he ever expects, up to the brief nosedive their (Aranea and Astarion) relationship takes when she begs him not to Turn Étoile, but as she eventually has to forgive Étoile, she makes a point to let Astarion know that she will never apologize for her behaviour but that she forgives him too; and her continued approval is further reinforced by her willingness to act as priest for the sake of officiating their marriage. She's harsh and orderly, but attentive and fiercely loyal. Her uniquely generous approach in providing space and concerned / judgmental comfort clearly communicates her love, and in return for that Étoile and Astarion are more honest and patient with her than they are with most people.

Étoile and Astarion's friends who underwent their journey with the Absolute with them largely approve of their relationship. Wyll had his lingering regrets that are softened with time, and then forgotten as he enters a relationship with the pair of them (and his wife, my oc Zavorys), and Gale feels Étoile's betrayal (their decision to give the crown to Raphael) even after things between them are later repaired (during a shared adventure into Avernus) which sours his perception of any positive relationships Étoile holds for a long time.

Étoile's friends from before the nautiloid are very suspicious of Astarion, and are critical Étoile's decision to more-or-less spend 6+ months of any given year in the Underdark. I think these relationships improve as some of the Spawn seek (night) employment in Baldur's Gate and an impression of the vampires as people and not monsters starts to percolate.

Meabh's family is a mess, but I'll start by saying that idk where bg3 gets the lore to decide on Bane as Bhaal's sworn foe or w/e. They're barely even rivals, especially not without Myrkul in the same whisper. Their (Bhaal and Bane) aims support each other far more than they hinder, with enemies to their divinity usually coming in the form of older or good aligned deities. With this in mind, I headcanon that Bhaal likes Enver just fine for how he focuses Meabh's violence. I'm also a huge proponent for how Bhaal is the god of murder, and not the god of "killing." I have an outline / timeline for the progression of Meabh and Enver's relationship that is preceded by something I'd love to write her saying to Enver in a fic because I'm so bitter over this: "There's no rule that murders in Bhaal's name must be without intent. Assassination is just murder with extra steps. Killing is not murder." Anyway. It is not a good thing for Enver that Bhaal might enjoy him as Bane's Chosen and Meabh's muse.

Orin would rather have Enver "to dinner" than hear one more word from his lips. She feels Meabh would have more time for her (Meabh's) purpose and for her (Orin) if she wasn't distracted by the Banite.

Sarevok thinks Enver served his purpose once the Crown was secured, or even earlier when the plot was finalized — Ketheric too, but Ketheric isn't a bad influence or an interference in cult / family cohesion. He believes that there are plenty of laypersons and Bhaalists that would make for a better obsession for Meabh.

Enver's parents would hate Meabh if they knew she existed.

I haven't gotten to Act 3, but if Meabh has friends then they either don't care about Enver one way or the other (Ascended Astarion, for example), or actively dislike him for being predictable and bland in his ambition (Minthara and Shadowheart perhaps).

Borgakh's sister initially does not like Iberis, perceiving him as bringing out paranoia and selfishness in Borgakh. Years later, she is more forgiving of him as he and Borgakh repair what was between them.

Borgakh's friends like him, and have been supportive of them getting back together.

Iberis' "extended family" and friends think they make an odd pair, but they also think mostly everything about Iberis is odd, and are generally polite and caring.

9. Who gets jealous easier?

Étoile and Astarion are fairly matched in having low jealousy due to high trust, each having moments of insecurity fuelling spikes of jealousy that are gently assuaged.

Meabh has a bit of trouble taking other people seriously at all, and so it's Enver who is more jealous, and able to imagine that Meabh could find another to inspire her and comfort the venomous predator of her heart.

Borgakh is more easily jealous in little bursts. Being so short-lived when compared to an elf or a dragon, there's a lot of Iberis' past and future for her to compare herself to. But Iberis is more powerfully jealous, where if clear boundaries aren't communicated he would be prone to despair over a flirtation between Borgakh and another.

12. Do they hide anything from each other, big or small?

Étoile and Astarion don't really after Astarion's Araj-led confession. There are things that are harder for either of them to talk about, but I wouldn't count that as hiding things from one other. Astarion in particular, 1. likes gossip too much, 2. value's Étoile's opinion too highly, 3. is bad with secrets.

Enver has contingencies, plots and defenses that he does hide from Meabh, sometimes for her sake but often for his own, whether because of her unpredictability or Bhaal's wrath. He also has little personal indulgences, which probably range from cruelties against people trying to keep hope in their lives, to the location of his parents; things that he wouldn't expect Meabh to understand or that he wouldn't want to risk her taking from him in a bout of rage.

When Borgakh and Iberis' romance is young, Borgakh can tell that Iberis is hiding something — because he knows an elven queen on a first name basis, and there are other signs. Worried he may actually be married / be hiding his whole self (he is, but not in the way she thinks), she decides to suddenly leave when she discovers she's pregnant, not trusting the truth of it with him, and not wanting to be a footnote and embarrassment to an elven partner (she later miscarries). It isn't until 4+ years later that they're reunited in an adventure against a powerful necromancer that she discovers that he is a dragon, and feels obligated to confess why she left in the first place.

8. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Astarion prefers verbal affection, whether that's declarations or smaller reassurances like plans made for the next tenday or offers of blood or inquiries as to the state of his clothing and equipment. Signs he's being thought of.

On a character sheet I previously put Étoile slap-dab in the middle of the scale. They enjoy affection, and will do their best to interpret and inquire after a partner's meaning.

Enver prefers physical affection, even his best trysts don't come with the familiarity that he and Meabh share.

Meabh prefers physical affection. I don't have a big reason for this.

Borgakh prefers physical affection. She has a hard time being vulnerable giving or receiving heart-felt words.

Iberis prefers verbal affection. He appreciates recognition and wooing.

14. Who is more protective? Who would get into a fight to defend the other? Who tends to the other's wounds?

Étoile is more protective, more likely to get into a fight to defend a partner / Astarion's reputation (I'd like to think they're both just as likely to involve themselves in a fight to defend the other physically) (Astarion would more likely be confused and judgmental than defensive of Étoile's reputation), and Étoile, ever the paladin, is more likely to tend to the other's wounds, though Astarion isn't without his moments.

Meabh is more protective (to the point that she has killed people she shouldn't have) and more likely to get into a fight to defend Enver's reputation. Enver is more likely to tend to Meabh's wounds, who is more prone to be wondrously distracted (or bitterly soured) by any non-fatal wounds either of them suffer at the hands of another.

Borgakh is more protective and more likely to tend Iberis' wounds. Iberis is more likely to be injured when not compelled to reveal his true form, and he is more likely to get into a fight to defend Borgakh's reputation.

10. Who is more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the mornings?

While morning is relative here, Astarion is more likely to convince Étoile to delay responsibilities for the sake of a cuddle.

Another "morning is relative" couple, Enver at least has his midnight prayers to attend to, if not illicit dealings that prefer the cover of darkness, and Meabh does their work on the twenty-four hour clock. Enver is more likely to be romanced by sleep, and to effortlessly seduce Meabh to a few more minutes of indulgence.

Iberis is more likely to attempt to convince Borgakh to come back to bed / the bedroll in the morning. He is rarely successful.

13. Do they have any "couple traditions", or family traditions?

Étoile and Astarion celebrate cultural holidays / milestones, like the new year, and the defeat of the netherbrain (and Auril's Day but I haven't decided how Étoile celebrates that). They probably wouldn't celebrate their birthdays if it weren't for the social expectation. Maybe it's tradition to spend the next 4-9 hours in trance or quiet activity (like reading) whenever they emerge from the Underdark to spend a few days in Baldur's Gate, but really that's just because they're creatures of habit and tired from the journey.

Enver must have his plans set out in stages or steps or milestones, and whenever one is met it's probably tradition to recreate something like his and Meabh's second date, with bourbon and cigars, and as his enterprises expand, perhaps a murder or two, to humor Bhaal and Meabh both, and so Enver can claim authority over people or territory to satisfy his own over-reaching tendencies and Bane's purpose.

Eventually, Iberis and Borgakh probably spend at least one dedicated night per month amongst his hoard. Iberis used to just go on his own for maintenance and security, and to add to it, but no matter how structured those behaviours felt before, it was a monumental show of dedication to share this part of himself with Borgakh. Additionally, at the change of seasons Iberis buys / commissions three new outfits for each himself and Borgakh.

[kimabutch]

Besides the context of (most of) the characters involved being gay, there’s something very queer about “you can’t take loved away” in Nona the Ninth.

It’s the recognition that the love of this temporary, messed up found family, doomed by political circumstances and time, was still important, even if everyone involved is gone or changed beyond recognition. It’s important because it was a shout in the darkness, because it was there, because it gave hope to all of them for a short time, because they loved each other and that’s enough.

It reminds me of queer couples getting married even though we might get our marriage rights taken away again, because the government can take away the certificate but it can’t take away the fact that they got married. Trans people transitioning in an increasingly tumultuous political landscape, knowing that we may not be able to forever, but that we need to savour it while it lasts. Older queer and trans people finding love and self-love in their last years of life because what’s important is that they got to have that love at all.

“Loved” is our power, our stronghold, when everything else is uncertain. They can’t take loved away.

[magpiesbones]

I love making playlists and was wondering if you have any songs that you associate with Witch Hat Atelier, The Raven Cycle or Howl's Moving Castle/House of Many Ways/Castle in the Air specifically?

Ooh or Hands if the Emperor?

oh this is a Really fun ask bc I found this really good trc playlist (unlinkable unfortunately) and it’s forever The trc playlist to me.

for witch hat I like a lot of Florence and the machine, but Forgiveness (許) by 4s4ki and silent legacy by Melissa etheridge also go very hard but I don’t really make playlists so. Most of my witch hat songs are ‘listen to while writing German college’ songs.

under the cut is the full TRC playlist written out.

like real people do- hosier

ghosts- the head and the heart

sea of love- cat power

dreams- Fleetwood Mac (or insert favorite cover)

Diplomats son- vampire weekend

arsonists lullaby- hosier

the mortal boy king— the paper kites

rivers and roads— the head and the heart

past lives— børns

I follow rivers— Marika hackman

the anchor- bastille

Bloom- the paper kites

Crooked teeth— death cab for cutie

see you- lady lamb

blame- bastille

5am- amber run

mystery of love- sufjan stevens

spirits- the strumbellas

From Eden- hozier

church- fall out boy

nobody dies- thao & the get down stay down

moving mountains- anima!

the twist- metric

pigeon- cavetown

sick of losing soulmates- dodie

A pound of flesh- radical face

dreaming- small pools

the predatory wasp of the palisades- sufjan stevens

November- sleeping with sirens

October- broken bells

devil in me- halsey

nineteen- tegan and Sara

rewrite the stars- original broadway recording of greatest showman

reflections after Jane- the clientele

The night we met- lord huron

rollercoaster- bleachers

come along (edit)- cosmo sheldrake

Ride- Lana de rey

so much- cavetown

Neptune- sleeping at last

heavens gate- fall out boy

the end of all things- panic at the disco

Willow tree March- the paper kites

Everything is temporary- cavetown

paint- the paper kites

Talk me down- troye sivan

Good times- all time low

Americas sweetheart- Elle king

family- mother mother

ribs- lorde

Call me out- sea girls

Trees- twenty one pilots

scene three: stomach tied in knots- sleeping with sirens

ten feet tall- cavetown

impossible year- panic at the disco

this is gospel- panic at the disco

the yawning grave- lord huron

always gold- radical face

Blue girl- the chromatics

waltz- the naked and famous

midnight city- m83

dream team- Aidan knight

devils playground- the rigs

you should see me in a crown- Billie eilish

teenage mind- Tate mcrae

silver lining- hurts

The wisp sings- winter aid

full circle- half moon run (this one REALLY has the vibe)

maybe we’re home- Lewis watson

wait- m83

July bones- Richard walters

lost it to trying- son lux

heirloom- sleeping at last

meet me in the woods- lord huron

Into the unknown- postcards from mars

welcome home son- radical face

young god- halsey

monsters calling home- run River north (also THE vibe)

let’s kill tonight- panic at the disco

No light no light- florence and the machine

these days are numbered- the head and the heart

hold on- Lewis watson

house of memories- panic at the disco

home- hollow coves

loneliness- SIAM

the funeral- band of horses

drive- halsey

gold- sir sly

another night on mars- the maine

we can try- between the trees

we’ll be the stars- Sabrina carpenter

why- Sabrina carpenter

slow dancing in the dark- joji

talk- coldplay

graveyard- halsey

the other side- Conan grey

Daughter- sleeping at last

if I get high- nothing but thieves

graveyard whistling- nothing but thieves

in this shirt- the irrepressibles

two men in love- the irrepressibles

[mollywog]

Something about this bit reminded me of a passage from Jane Eyre

The Blue Castle

…Of late years she had fallen into the habit of doing her hair with the shade of the window by the looking-glass pulled down. The lines on her face did not show so plainly then. But this morning she jerked the shade to the very top and looked at herself in the leprous mirror with a passionate determination to see herself as the world saw her.

The result was rather dreadful. Even a beauty would have found that harsh, unsoftened side-light trying. Valancy saw straight black hair, short and thin, always lustreless despite the fact that she gave it one hundred strokes of the brush, neither more nor less, every night of her life and faithfully rubbed Redfern’s Hair Vigor into the roots, more lustreless than ever in its morning roughness; fine, straight, black brows; a nose she had always felt was much too small even for her small, three-cornered, white face; a small, pale mouth that always fell open a trifle over little, pointed white teeth; a figure thin and flat-breasted, rather below the average height. She had somehow escaped the family high cheek-bones, and her dark-brown eyes, too soft and shadowy to be black, […]. Apart from her eyes she was neither pretty nor ugly—just insignificant-looking, she concluded bitterly. How plain the lines around her eyes and mouth were in that merciless light! And never had her narrow, white face looked so narrow and so white.

…

Fear—fear—fear—she could never escape from it. It bound her and enmeshed her like a spider’s web of steel. Only in her Blue Castle could she find temporary release. And this morning Valancy could not believe she had a Blue Castle. She would never be able to find it again. Twenty-nine, unmarried, undesired—what had she to do with the fairy-like chatelaine of the Blue Castle? She would cut such childish nonsense out of her life forever and face reality unflinchingly.

Jane Eyre

“You,” I said, “a favourite with Mr. Rochester?  You gifted with the power of pleasing him?  You of importance to him in any way?  Go! your folly sickens me.  And you have derived pleasure from occasional tokens of preference—equivocal tokens shown by a gentleman of family and a man of the world to a dependent and a novice.  How dared you?  Poor stupid dupe!—Could not even self-interest make you wiser? You repeated to yourself this morning the brief scene of last night?—Cover your face and be ashamed!  He said something in praise of your eyes, did he?  Blind puppy!  Open their bleared lids and look on your own accursed senselessness!  It does good to no woman to be flattered by her superior, who cannot possibly intend to marry her; and it is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown, must devour the life that feeds it; and, if discovered and responded to, must lead, ignis-fatus-like, into miry wilds whence there is no extrication.

“Listen, then, Jane Eyre, to your sentence: to-morrow, place the glass before you, and draw in chalk your own picture, faithfully, without softening one defect; omit no harsh line, smooth away no displeasing irregularity; write under it, ‘Portrait of a Governess, disconnected, poor, and plain.’

“Afterwards, take a piece of smooth ivory—you have one prepared in your drawing-box: take your palette, mix your freshest, finest, clearest tints; choose your most delicate camel-hair pencils; delineate carefully the loveliest face you can imagine; paint it in your softest shades and sweetest lines, according to the description given by Mrs. Fairfax of Blanche Ingram; remember the raven ringlets, the oriental eye;—What! you revert to Mr. Rochester as a model!  Order!  No snivel!—no sentiment!—no regret!  I will endure only sense and resolution.  Recall the august yet harmonious lineaments, the Grecian neck and bust; let the round and dazzling arm be visible, and the delicate hand; omit neither diamond ring nor gold bracelet; portray faithfully the attire, aërial lace and glistening satin, graceful scarf and golden rose; call it ‘Blanche, an accomplished lady of rank.’

“Whenever, in future, you should chance to fancy Mr. Rochester thinks well of you, take out these two pictures and compare them: say, ‘Mr. Rochester might probably win that noble lady’s love, if he chose to strive for it; is it likely he would waste a serious thought on this indigent and insignificant plebeian?’”

“I’ll do it,” I resolved: and having framed this determination, I grew calm, and fell asleep.

I kept my word.  An hour or two sufficed to sketch my own portrait in crayons; and in less than a fortnight I had completed an ivory miniature of an imaginary Blanche Ingram.  It looked a lovely face enough, and when compared with the real head in chalk, the contrast was as great as self-control could desire.  I derived benefit from the task: it had kept my head and hands employed, and had given force and fixedness to the new impressions I wished to stamp indelibly on my heart.

Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on the course of wholesome discipline to which I had thus forced my feelings to submit.  Thanks to it, I was able to meet subsequent occurrences with a decent calm, which, had they found me unprepared, I should probably have been unequal to maintain, even externally.

Also see made for labor not love by @sheet-metal-memories

[up-sideand-down]

ffvii hades-like au?

1.) Sephiroth is the waward son of the god of the underworld. He's never taken neatly to his own role, but he flourishes in learning to fight and what to fight for under the mortal spirits his father employs. He also just hates his father. He leans much more closely and much more affectionately to Jenova, night herself. Jenova is stern, but holds much more warmth than his father ever could. And Jenova usually tells him the truth. Sephiroth believes the house would collapse if Jenova was gone. Most others do too.

Jenova tells him the truth when Sephiroth finds undeniable proof that she is not, in fact, his real mother. She tells him what she can of Lucretia. Literally no one will say why Lady Lucretia left. Sephiroth's father forbids it. So Sephiroth goes to find the one person who can.

Jenova agrees to help Sephiroth reach Lucretia however she can.

2.) Sephiroth's father is furious when Sephiroth tries to leave. He manages to turn most of the house against Sephiroth, because technically he is in charge. But Sephiroth fights anyway using the weapons his own family once used to best the Titans and boons from their family itself.

He feels a little bad when he has to face Genesis...his ex. Their relationship had ended badly before and this didn't help things. Genesis is pretty much convinced Sephiroth is going to bring ruin to them, but he has to keep going. He has to know why.

He feels worse when he faces Cloud, death himself. Cloud claims to understand his friend's plight, but Sephiroth knows he doesn't, but appreciates the help.

Progress is slow, but he is able to brush up against the surface more and more often.

3.) Sephiroth is finally able to reach the surface, bribing Zack the hellhound with his favorite snack to avoid a final fight. Except now he faces his own father.

It's shocking how little love he has for him as they fight. Sephiroth realizes he may be a fool, throwing away a loveless parent for one that could possibly just hate him.

But she might love him too. She might love him more than Jenova ever could. He just needs to know why she left. His father will not say.

It takes more than one attempt, but finally Sephiroth stands over his father as he goes to the Styx...and Sephiroth steps out into the real world.

4.) He finds it cold, but strangely beautiful. He finds a garden at last, just like Jenova said. The woman tells him it's private and he explains he's looking for Lucretia...his mother.

She is furious, angry he would bring up such a name...until it clicks for her.

"You died," she says, "you died. He said you were beyond saving. How can you be here." Their reunion is wonderful, but brief. Sephiroth knew it would only be temporary, that he is tied to the underworld forever.

"I'll be back soon," he says weakly. Lucretia holds her son in her arms. "You must!" she tells him.

He does. To the wonder of all, he keeps reaching his mother learning the cruel truth of her marriage. That his father bargained for her, that she thought she did love him. That his father lied to make her leave because the house held more power for her than it did him.

The final time she is waiting at the docks by Angeal's boat.

"I'm going with you, Sephiroth," she tells him, "things are going to be different."

5.) If fighting to get out was hard enough, fighting to overthrow the god of the underworld was harder. It was easier since everyone was more or less on Sephiroth's side.

The thing that really turned the tide was the figure in red who appeared and disappeared at whim. Jenova recognized her brother Chaos, but not the man with him.

Sephiroth met him. Vincent.

"I'm still Chaos," he said, "just the part that humans would understand, the less...primordial one." With Chaos's boon Sephiroth managed to best a god for good.

But leading isn't at all what he wanted. He passed that to Lucretia and Jenova...still feeling like...history was going to repeat itself.

At least he did until his mother gave him a new job: security expert. He had to try and escape the underworld over and over.

"So you can protect the house and get out all that restless energy," she said with a smile.

[thepastisalreadywritten]

The Ides of March — a day of the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 BC — that forever changed history.

Julius Caesar's bloody assassination on 15 March 44 BC, forever marked March 15, or the Ides of March, as a day of infamy.

It has fascinated scholars and writers ever since. For ancient Romans living before that event, however, an ides was merely one of several common calendar terms used to mark monthly lunar events.

The ides simply marked the appearance of the full moon.

But Romans would soon learn to beware the Ides of March.

That iconic phrase came to represent a day of abrupt change, setting off a ripple of repercussions throughout Roman society and beyond.

By the time of Caesar, Rome had a long-established republican government headed by two consuls with joint powers.

Praetors were one step below consuls in the power chain and handled judicial matters.

A body of citizens formed the Senate proposed legislation, which general people's assemblies then approved by vote.

A special temporary office, that of dictator, was established for use only during times of extreme civil unrest.

Romans had no love for kings. According to legend, they expelled their last one in 509 BC.

While Caesar had made pointed and public displays of turning down offers of kingship, he showed no reluctance to accept the office of “dictator for life” in February of 44 BC.

This action may have sealed his fate in the minds of his enemies. 

Caesar had pushed the envelope for some time before his death.

“Caesar was the first living Roman ever to appear on the coinage.”

Normally, honor was reserved for deities. He notes that some historians suspect that Caesar might have been attempting to establish a cult in his honor in a move toward deification.

Plot's conspirators, who termed themselves as “liberators,” had to move quickly as Caesar had plans to leave Rome for a campaign against Parthians.

Two days before his departure, he was summoned to Senate for what would be a fateful meeting.

Conspirators gathered around Caesar and stabbed him to death as the rest of the Roman Senate watched in horror.

Whether or not Caesar was a true tyrant is debated still to this day.

It is safe to say, however, that in the mind of Marcus Brutus, who helped mastermind the attack, the threat Caesar posed to republican system was clear.

Brutus was famously portrayed in William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar as a tragic hero, while Caesar was written as an unequivocal tyrant.

In the play, Caesar sees Brutus among the crowd of assassins and says of the betrayal with his dying breath, "Et tu, Brute?" 

Brutus's involvement in the murder is made tragic given his close affiliations with Caesar.

His mother, Servilia, was one of Caesar's lovers. And although Brutus had fought against Caesar during Rome's recent civil war, he was spared from death and later promoted by Caesar to office of praetor.

Brutus, however, was torn in his allegiance to Caesar. Brutus's family had a tradition of rejecting authoritarian powers.

Ancestor Junius Brutus was credited with throwing out the last king of Rome, Tarquin Superbus, in 509 BC.

Ahala, an ancestor of Marcus Brutus's mother, had killed another tyrant, Spurius Maelius.

This lineage, coupled with a strong interest in Greek idea of tyranicide, disposed Brutus to have little patience with perceived power grabbers.

The final blow came when his uncle Cato, a father figure to Brutus, killed himself after losing in a battle against Caesar in 46 BC.

Brutus may have felt shame over accepting Caesar's clemency and obligation to do Cato honor by continuing his quest to “save” the republic from Caesar, Osgood speculated.

It is this moral dilemma that has caused debate over whether or not Brutus should be branded a villain.

Plutarch's Life of Brutus is quite sympathetic in comparison to surviving documents naming other enemies of Caesar and his successors. 

📷 : The Ides of March XLIV BC; Oil on Panel by Stephen Gjertson (Old Parkland Art Collection, Dallas)

[saihyou]

i did a top 10 sidem songs tag that i saw going around on twitter~ cant believe we're finally in our tenth anniversary year!!

meet the world

this song is really significant to me for a lot of reasons. as a kaigai P, world tre@sure was a super important time in sidem history where the gap was really bridged between the japanese fans and the rest of us. 4th live tre@sure gate was a must-attend for me because of this and it was my first time attending a imas live locally ever! i'll never forget the feeling of the lights dimming and meet the world beginning to play with every seiyuu's voice together in a huge powerful harmony. it was the first time id ever heard my 4 tantous voices in real life without a screen and thousands of miles between us and it was one of the most important moments of my life. i knew in that moment i could never miss another live again no matter how hard it is and how many hurdles i have to jump over to get to japan for the events. every time i travel again for imas, i listen to meet the world on repeat and think about how my passion for the idols can 空を海を夜を越えて <3

2. reason

reason is THE sidem song. every time i listen to it, the memories from the anime and lives and games all flood back to me. i've been a P since 2011 and AS has always been my home, and the reason i got into sidem at all is because i love AS and i've always felt that sidem and AS are the most connected and spiritually similar branches of imas. i always felt this way, so when sideani was released and we heard the full version of reason for the first time and realized that it was a love song to all of imas and everything that came before sidem... wow. im still so grateful to this day. and not only that, but AS themselves performing reason at moiw last year.... 😭 ill never be the same....

3. platinum mask

platinum mask!!! PLATINUM MASK!!! beits long awaited growing signal song. the memories attached to this song are so incredible. being in tokyo when the platinum mask event was announced, getting to experience platinum mask in full for the first time by hearing it performed live by all of beit at yokoari in that same week, platinum mask's cd releasing the week of moiw, platinum mask having the honor of being performed at moiw, and platinum mask being the song we got to finally see animated by sublimation for beits 3d mv. this song has given beit so many opportunities and been used to promote beit in ways id never even dreamed of before as their producer. not to mention the beautiful grand, royal aesthetic is something ive been waiting for my tantous to get forever, along with the lyrics perfectly fitting beits themes of secrecy and gaining/losing power.... this is truly the perfect song in every way.

4. hyper believer

i have so much to say about this song its unreal but ill try and keep it condensed. hyper believer was part of the first cd in the huuugely important and long awaited 49 elements series. there were 5 years in between shikis first solo and second solo, and much like the rest of the songs in 49ele, the jump in quality and huge level up for the idol is super tangible. hyper believer is shikis love song to highxjoker, to his friends his family producer the rest of 315pro, to life itself. it's about being self aware that hes in the awkward, incomplete period of his teenage years but going through every day knowing its temporary and fleeting so enjoying it anyway. every lyric is perfect and i still cant believe shiki got a song like this that takes him as a character so seriously. i havent felt so emotionally impacted by a song since chihaya's saihyou.

i love shiki more than anything in the entire world and i want to spend the rest of my life producing him. thats why when april 4th 2023 happened, it became impossible to listen to this song. theres a line in hyper believer that goes "millions of failures, successes, and brilliance are waiting for me" and i became unable to even face shiki when, in the real world, it seemed like there was no future waiting for him at all. all i could feel was my regret, my shock, my failure as a producer, my anger towards the situation sidem was put in. i carried these heavy feelings with me for months and didnt listen to the song for almost a year. until 8th live.

i attended sidem's 8th live at k-arena with nervous apprehension, careful excitement. very guarded. 2023 was the worst year of my life because of sidem, but also the best because of sidem. the idea of this being the final live and the end of the roadmap made me sick to my stomach and i sat in my seat on level-5 on day 2 with the idea that it could be the last time, ever. however, after a perfect baton touch from chibasho, nogamin came out on stage and performed hyper believer. "with tears in my eyes, i know i cant let this end". i was blown away. every single line hit me like a truck, only amplified by how long itd been since i heard them. after it was over, i was so stunned i didnt even register different songs had begun to play until 2-3 songs later. with that one song, every worry that clouded my life since april was blown away and my love for imas that had dropped to a 10% raised back up to 100%. along with platinum mask's b-side being performed, go for it, the surprise appearance of rairai meishi, and all the announcements afterwards that proved that sidem not only wasnt stopping any time soon, but revving up more than ever for the 10th anniversary made hachisu my favorite live of all time. i felt like everything id worked up to actually meant something and now i can face shiki with more love than ever because of this song.

thank you shiki, thank you nogami-san.

5. go for it

everything about go for it is very quintessentially "sidem" to me. being able to see minori as the center for such a fun shuffle unit is so precious. the unit originating in moba and then getting a song together through saisuta feels like staff very carefully considered how to bridge the gaps between both worlds and im very grateful for how much care was put into creating this project for them. not only that, but the lyrics are so fun and positive in a very sidem way and im so happy our oldest idols could sing this together since the age range of the idols being so wide is another charm point of sidem.

i also really love how sidem-like the music itself is too. sidem music is inherently instantly recognizable among other imas music because its men singing, but i think its really commendable that even if the vocals were muted, most people could still probably tell this was a sidem song. i also love love love how the music is ... tastefully dated? it matches the silly goofy aesthetic of over30 so much. its so playful. i love this song so much

i really hope i can own a proper go for it cd one day..... :(

6. summertime graffiti

not only do i think this is just a really really fun, catchy song that everybody should listen to, but this is the song that all 4 of my tantou sing together... <3 having tantou in different units means i dont get to see them together that often, and although theres 全体曲 and other songs like 315 steelo and welcome to japan that feature a mix of my 4 tantou, but this is the only song with kyoji pierre minori AND shiki singing together. beit and highxjoker combined with the energy and cuteness that yusuke and kyosuke add makes this the perfect song that i cant help but smile while listening to! hearing it performed at masters of idol world last year was so incredible i still cant believe it actually happened.... :'D

7. sunset colors

sideani 315. thats all i can really say. highxjokers songs are usually more idol-like in line distrubition and style than band-like, but for the anime they went full in on highxjoker being a band and it was so beautiful. shikis lead vocals throughout the entire song with everyone else backing him up feels like the most true to form highxjoker song ever. an entire episode of sideani being dedicated to this story and the build up to jun yelling out shikis name during the role call.... ;---; not to mention highxjokers seiyuu learning their characters instruments to perform it at 3/4 legs of the 3rd live tour... its such a huge honor to have my idol be the center of such an important song.

8. red hot beat

another song i just simply love to listen to and makes me really happy. super upbeat and high energy, perfect for all the physical members ❤️ i really really really adore the line distrubition in this song. seeing all of the combinations is so fun and i really like how most of them pair the idols up with more unexpected duos, which makes it really fun. shiki and minori are my physical tantous, so getting to hear asselin and minoris duet followed by shiki and suzakus duet is just so fun!! those combinations could only happen in this song so i tresure them deeply. the lyrics are so adorable too... theyre filled with such a deep love/affection that only idols ive produced for 10 years now could sing, yknow? if that makes sense. this song and its lyrics can only work because the sidem idols have been active for such a long time. cries.

also, minori was the event sr for the red hot beat event in saisuta which i had a lot of fun running. i think i hit 500,000 points? it really was fun....

9. secret ornament

theres not really a super deep reason for choosing this, but i just really love this song. theres something so endlessly magical about getting to hear kyoji pierre and minoris voices harmonizing together. a more orchestral song like this that relies on their vocals more shows that off perfectly. the violin solo after minoris solo gives me goosebumps no matter how many times i listen to this song on repeat. i love them so much. i cant wait to hear this song live one day ;-;

10. voy@ger

this might be cheating but theres no way i couldnt include voy@ger. voy@ger is my favorite thing the idolmaster franchise has ever done. ever. i cant say it enough. every single part of it is perfect. absolutely perfect. ive talked about it so much and gone over every possible detail and frame and milisecond of the song so many times that i wont repeat it all here but i just want to mention specifically that...

obviously i love the choice of sidem idols that got to participate because kyoji got to take part in this project but because... well... for a long time the reason othermas Ps would give that they didnt want to hear our sidem idols perform with their girls is because their voices are too deep and they would sound weird or bad or disruptive to the girls. i really hate this. not only is this super disrespectful to the song writers and sound producers, but also for more importantly the idols and seiyuu, both male and female. for nanwara and poplinks tune and even cryst@loud later on, only the main trio idols were used, but they were the "obvious choices" and only drastars members sang with the girls. but voy@ger didnt go that route and used idols outside the main trios. and for sidem in my opinion it wouldve been really easy for them to just choose. like. idk. kanon saki pierre ie the idols with the highest pitched voices and thrown them in the group so they could sing on the same octave as the girls but they didnt do that at all. and thats my favorite thing about voy@ger. kyoji genbu chris are probably the 3 idols with the LOWEST voices in all of idolmaster and im so happy they were given that opportunity to prove the weirdos who hate sidem wrong. they killed it so hard. im so in love with every decision made about voy@ger i could literally talk about this forever but this is probably my time to wrap this post up....!!

thank you 酒カス☆ボンバイエ and 黒川 for organizing this project! its been so fun to read other Ps thoughts on so many different songs. i had a lot of fun filling out my own version ^^

[chidoroki]

Black Clover ch359

When we left off with Mereoleona becoming a blazing inferno last month, I sure as hell wasn’t expecting us to come straight back to something like THIS!! Damn it, Acier, way to send me into an absolute panic! My man’s serious wound ain’t even the worst part of these panels (for me personally). Unfortunately, I had a feeling he was gonna get hurt by Acier sometime during this fight and then we would have Noelle come charging in to save her siblings, which does end happening of course, but what really bums me out is that we skip right to this moment. I had SO MANY thoughts about how the Acier vs Silva siblings fight could've went and here we are.. skipping the whole thing entirely. I was so damn excited five chapters ago thinking that we could finally have Nozel get a well deserved power up and prove how strong he’s become to the woman he respects so much, not only in terms of his magic, but as a captain and head of house as well just as Acier was. I was even looking forward to see if Nebra & Solid would use some kind of new magic or something too, but nah, we get yet another big moment for Noelle. Don’t get me wrong, I love Noelle and I’m very happy to finally see her again after what feels like forever, but I wish we could’ve seen so much more of Acier fighting her three eldest children first.

Now, seeing Nebra & Solid struggle during the fight is something I very much expected from them, both physically and emotonally. As I said back during ch354, I don’t believe their magic would be nearly as strong enough to even damage Acier. Hell, if Nozel had trouble with his mercury, then there was no way their mist or water was gonna put a dent in their mother’s steel. Even if their magic attributes seem to be at a disadvantage, their emotions are obviously taking a toll on them as well as they simply can’t handle the thought of facing their own mother.

In all the Acier flashbacks we’ve seen in the past, she’s obviously been shown to be powerful but so caring, so to see lowkey scold her children like this and call them weak in the next couple panels is kinda hilarious to me but I love it all the same. But please don’t blame yourself ma’am, your death was totally not your fault.

Noelle sweetheart, I adore you but could you have let your siblings have some spotlight for at least five minutes?? Aahh but I can’t deny this is such a great panel of her and of course I thank her for stepping in to help out regardless of how the siblings treated her in the past. But we really must thank Acier, everyone in this darn family is so beautiful with those Silva genes.

Speaking of siblings, I’m surprisingly not too worried about Nozel..? Granted, I had a heart attack once I saw the raw leaks of Acier making him into a shish kebab, but sadly this ain’t his first time getting impaled and he could very well patch up his own wound with his mercury as he did once before to provide some temporary relief. When he was attacked by Letoile/Kivn during the Elf Reincarnation arc, he completely collapsed onto the ground after being struck by the compass magic. Now this may be my own Silva bias, but I’m sure Acier’s magic is several times stronger, so the fact that a steel lance to the gut only brought Nozel down to his knees is kinda impressive? His grimoire is also still intact at the moment too, so that’s a big plus. I’m still incredibly worried though.. my dude needs a break. And to prove himself against his mother, damn it!

I know Asta’s sudden disappearance was real hard on Noelle and she has every right to cry about it a little, but I’m so proud how quick she regained her focus and fighting spirit. She failed, she cried, she got over it and now she’s more determined than ever to improve for her sake and other’s and I love that about her.

To see Kahono (& Kiato) return outta nowhere was so unexpected but still a very welcomed surprise for me. We haven’t seen these two in ages! (but makes me wonder if Noelle really went from the capital all the way to the sea near Raque just to have her emotional moment. How dramatic. But you do you girl.)

I wanna say this whole sea dragon idea came outta nowhere, but I do vaguely remember the underwater people chatting about a sea god way back during the Seabed Temple arc, so to have it at appear during this moment.. that was some nice timing. I can’t be mad at it, honestly. Kinda fits the Chekhov’s Gun trope too I think.

It also makes a decent replacement for Undine, since I completely forgot up until this moment that her time with Noelle was a temporary thing until Lolopechka was successfully saved. More importantly, just look at it! How could I be mad or upset at that little face?? It’s adorable. The name is actually kinda simple too, compared to what Noelle wanted to nickname Secre way back. I was half expecting Noelle to come up with another ridiculous name for it.

Again, super happy that this final arc is bringing back so many familiar faces and I hope this means we get to see others like Mars show up eventually too. But pardon me derailing my train of thought for a moment as I focus on Nozel once again. While his injury is still a major concern, at least we have someone (aka: Kahono) capable of healing nearby. I dunno if her song magic can heal up such a serious wound, but every little bit helps. Noelle’s sudden appearance also makes me wonder if Secre & Mimosa are still around the capital? The three of them were together at the ceremony before Lucius attacked and despite Noelle going off on her own to the sea at some point, either one of those ladies could assist with Nozel’s current situation too. OR BETTER YET, perhaps the Black Bulls could be on their way as well. We all know Grey’s magic is capable of saving people (such as Gauche) who get impaled. And I’m gonna be so hopeful with this wish because it would be such a slim chance, but I’d scream for joy if Vanessa came to help him with Rouge. Yeah the cat only works on those Vanessa cares about, but the magic also works on those physically close to our witch. It might not help the injury Nozel has now, but Rouge could prevent any more damage..maybe? I am trying very hard to stay positive for this man if you couldn’t already tell.

All my worries aside, this new armor of Noelle’s is simply stunning! That “Sea God Arrives” ost better play whenever this scene gets animated.

(Still wish Nozel could’ve received an upgrade like this or something but alright honey, go off!)