#POSTING THIS EARLY FOR REASONS THIS WAS GONNA BE MY SATURDAY POST BUT NOT ANYMORE
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redraw of one of my old ocs:
This is Loop de Loop, otherwise known as Loop Doop or just Loop to kids! (She doesn’t like her name much, but it’s what the company branded her as and she can’t exactly change it.)
Some facts:
Her hands are not attached to her body, they’re more 3d holograms you can feel (don’t ask me how it works, I dunno either). it does take some conscious effort to have them out, so she doesn’t usually unless she’s with someone or needs to convey something. If you grab her hands, though, she can feel it and it does have a similar effect as pulling a real connected hand: if you’re strong enough, you can drag her along with it. (And yes, she has four fingers and they're never properly drawn, I'm sorry I can't draw real hands...)
She doesn’t have a voicebox. She communicates with sounds and holographs (you’ll see what I mean if/when I post comics of her).
She used to belong to a different company before being sold into FazCo in some merger between the companies. (which comes in later, hehe…)
She was originally built with an outgoing, extroverted personality, but it developed into something more meek and quiet.
Her 'cheeks' get bigger or smaller depending on her emotions.
She doesn’t usually hang out with the main star animatronics because they treat her less then well. She prefers speaking with the mapbots, staffbots and wet floor bots, or the DJ if she has the chance. Because of her affiliation with the staffbots, it leads a lot of members of staff and guests to believe she is one, and they treat her as such often.
She is a bit of a people-pleaser, and feels there's something wrong with her when she gets told off for not 'wiping the floors and doing her @$#% job'.
She cannot curse, by the way, it carries into her holographs as signs, sorta like the smurf comics. She doesn't like cursing much anyways, so it's not something that usually happens.
When kids come up to her on occasion (because she is sort of a performer), she'll ask them for their autograph on a picture with them, then print two. One for the kid, and one for her personal collection. She remembers every kid she's ever talked to before.
Her charging port is in the 2nd lil ball on the left side of her head.
The balls aren't anything special, just some soft, styrofoam-like material for kids to enjoy.
She doesn't interact with other animatronics, as said be but is occasionally forced to by Bloo (I'll post his redraw when I finish it) and puts up with it. On that note:
- She doesn't like Monty or Roxanne very much, but she does interact with Monty more. Although most wouldn't call 'grabbing your younger brother to keep him away from the big scary bot he sees as an idol' an interaction. Roxanne has insulted Bloo though, so she stays away from her (and makes sure Bloo stays away as well).
- She's never actually met Freddy before, but she hears that he's nice from the Wet Floor bots. She personally doesn't want to meet him, either, assuming he's just like Monty and Roxy but worse because he's the face of the company.
She's only ever seen the pictures of Bonnie-the merger was somewhat recent, so he was gone by the time they arrived.
She's seen Chica around, but...Chica means well, but she treats Loup Doop more like a kid than like an equal.
- She loves the DJ. They're best buddies in her eyes. They'll do remixes together, she'll ride on his back, babysit the minis, anything.
-She...doesn't really know what to think of the Daycare Attendant. The yellow one seems okay, just a bit too loud for her liking. The dark one, on the other hand...she's heard the stories from the STAFFbots and decides to steer clear of him if she can.
-Unfortunately, she can't stay as far away as she'd like cuz her brother in bolts has to look up to the strangest role models.
She actually meets them before Bloo does.
#my ocs#loop doop#loop de loop#fnaf ocs#crappy doodles#rambles#yea the colors are eye-searing cuz her original company could NOT do color schemes#definitely not because I can't color properly no sir#POSTING THIS EARLY FOR REASONS THIS WAS GONNA BE MY SATURDAY POST BUT NOT ANYMORE#uhh ignore the quality this was drawn back in february#It’s been a little while
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Mackie Samoskevich Imagine
prompt: inspired by an ask for @ijustreallylovethem
Where the reader and Mackie aren't public with their relationship and Dylan accidentally posts a picture of them
word count: 1,481
“Hey guys,” I say sitting down at the table and taking a seat next to Mackie, placing a small kiss on his cheek. He blushes and smiles. “Hey baby,” he whispers grabbing my hand under the table. We had been together for around four months now but we were trying to keep it quiet. We both have seen what the other guys have gone through with fangirls being rude to their girlfriends and Mackie didn’t want to put me through that. I was thankful for that because I remember last year hearing one of them cry because of the hate comments on her posts. It was easy for us to still be around each other and be kind of touchy because I have been friends with the guys since last year.
“You guys are so cute,” Dylan smiles staring at us. “Thanks, Dyl,” I laugh squeezing Mack’s hand, he gets flustered really easily. “Okay before he starts on an hour-long rant about how you two are his favorite couple ever, let’s talk about Saturday night,” Ethan shifts the attention away from us, which Mackie is happy about. It’s really cute how he is so confident about everything else like hockey and school but he gets all nervous and shy around other people. Which is the opposite of what he was before we started dating.
“What’s Saturday,” I asked picking up a piece of fruit off my plate and eating it. Mark opens his mouth but I quickly stop him,” Estapa if you say it’s for the boys I am going to throw this grape at your head.” Everyone laughs while Mark says it anyway just to mess with me. I throw the grape and he catches it in his mouth. Mark was actually the reason I became friends with the other guys. We partnered together on a project at the beginning of last year and I’ve been stuck with them ever since, not that I mind.
“Some of the guys are coming over to watch the game,” Luke says before gathering his things. He and Mark had a class across campus so they started heading that way early. “See you guys,” Mark says swiping another grape from my plate. I roll my eyes at him and flip him off. He gives me a big grin and catches up with Luke. The guys start talking about what they need to grab for the gathering and I put my head on Mackie’s shoulder. Dylan stops mid-sentence and takes a picture of us. “Dylan seriously knock it off,” Mackie pleads while Ethan smacks him on the back of the head.
“Okay we gotta go, but I’ll come over tonight after practice. Does that work for you,” I say sitting up and turning towards my boyfriend. He gives me a nod and stands up with me. He grabs all of my things and puts them in Dylan’s arms, who I have in my next class. “Sounds good. I’ll see you then,” he gives me a quick hug and grabs his stuff too. Ethan rounds the table and throws himself on me. I laugh and try to keep him up while attempting to hug him back. “I just needed a hug, since someone says he can’t anymore,” Ethan says dramatically glancing over at Mackie. “Sorry all reserved for my girlfriend buddy,” he jokes. “Yeah we’ll see about that Samo,” Ethan says before running at him with his arms open.
Dylan and I watch the two of them run for a second before finally heading to class. “I can carry that Dyl,” I say trying to take my stuff back. “Y/n it’s two books and a laptop I think I can handle it,” he laughs rolling his eyes. I just give up because I know he isn’t gonna budge. “Does it actually bother you when I talk about how cute you and Mack are,” he asks while we walk in step. “No way. I mean it makes him flustered but it doesn’t bother either of us. The guys are just giving you a hard time Dyl,” I say placing my hand on his arm and patting it. “Besides if you didn’t take all of those pictures of us, I wouldn’t have this cute lock screen,” I show him. It was one of us after a game Mackie hugging me from behind as I tried to get away because he was super sweaty. We were both laughing and it was one of my favorites.
With my last class of the day being canceled, I was finished for the day and headed to the guys’s house. As I got there I noticed I still had at least a couple of hours before they got home. I started straightening up around the house so the boys didn’t have to come in all tired and do it. After finishing that I made my way to the kitchen and started making something for dinner. My choices were limited obviously, but they did have everything to make pasta with. After getting that started I grabbed the things I would need for brownies and got those ready.
The food was done and I was mixing the batter when I heard five very loud hockey players enter the house. They all followed the sound of my music and the smell of the food into the kitchen. “Oh my god I love you,” Luke says making his way into the kitchen first. “For cleaning or for cooking,” I laugh putting the bowl on the counter and looking for a pan. “Both,” he says grabbing a bowl and putting food onto it. The guys all quickly follow suit and while they are pushing and shoving to try and get some first, Mackie comes up behind me and puts his head on my shoulder. I relax and lean back into him.
“Thank you. You do know that you don’t have to do all of this right? We will all still love you even if you don’t,” he says before kissing my cheek. “Speak for yourself. I would actually love you a little less if you stopped taking care of us,” Mark jokes and I whacked with the rubber spatula I had on the counter near me. We all sat down and started eating and Dyaln took a picture of me sitting on Mackie’s lap with a bowl of pasta we were sharing. “I am so sending this to the group chat and bragging to the freshies,” he says and we smile at the camera. After everyone was done and the brownies were cooling, the boys did the dishes while I set up the TV in the living room.
Last week the guys were going out and Mackie and I decided to stay in and watch something. I put on Pretty Little Liars because I was making Mackie watch it for the first time. One by one each guy had come downstairs after getting ready to wait for the others. Slowly each guy started watching it and then asking questions and I finally started it all over so we could all watch it together.
“Okay, so how many times are we actually gonna see this video of her in the yellow shirt saying that,” Luke asks and I laugh because I thought the same thing when I first watched it. “Only a couple dozen more times,” my answer makes them all groan. The girls all got a text on the screen and my phone started going off. Five sets of eyes snap my way,” seriously,” I laugh checking my phone. I see tons of new followers and texts from some of my friends. “Dyl didn’t you say you sent that picture to the group chat,” I ask pausing the show. “Yeah, why,” he asks looking up from his spot on the ground.
I pull up his Instagram story and show him that he actually posted it on his story and not into the chat. “Oh shit. I am so sorry guys. I’ll go delete it now,” he fumbles with his phone trying to delete it. “Don’t worry about it. Leave it up,” Mackie says pulling it up on his phone and reposting it to his story. “You sure,” I ask and he leans over and gives me a quick peck on the lips. “Yeah. As long as you are,” he looks at me. I nod and scroll through and share it with my story too. “So you guys aren’t mad at me,” Dylan asks. “No Dyl. We could never be mad at our number one supporter,” I ruffle his hair and smile. After posting it, we both turn our phones on Do Not Disturb and I play the show. “So does this mean I can post the album of pictures I have of you know,” he asks already scrolling through trying to pick his favorites.
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Affluenza | Pt2
Pairing: JJ × Kook!Reader
Summary: Y/N celebrates her birthday with a party that she didn't want to throw and finds out a sad truth about the boy that's not quite her boyfriend, but being in each other's company makes things at least a little better.
Warnings: Mentions of abuse and descriptions of injury, reference to drugs
Word Count: 3.5k
A/N: I'm so happy that so many people liked pt1!! It means the absolute world to me that people are reading and enjoying my work 🥰 Pt3 might take a little longer to get out, but I'll try to post it asap.
Taglist: @alotbnouf @fairypitou @305weasley @thecraziestcrayon @sofamochi @arvinrussellseggplant
Thanks for reading guys ❤
Pt1 here | Pt3 here
“Why didn’t you tell me it’s your birthday on Saturday!?” JJ exclaimed, letting go of your hand and sitting up from where you had both been lying on the deck of your boat.
“I didn’t think it was that big a deal.” You replied with a laugh. “I kinda just forgot to mention it.”
“But what if I wanted to buy you a present?”
“I don’t need a present from you JJ.” You smiled, reaching up to cup his cheek and pulling him down for a kiss.
The two of you had been dating for a couple of months now, and although you very much considered yourselves to be together neither of you had said the words ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ yet. The time you spent together was private, you kept it a secret from everyone; you didn’t want your family to know and he was hesitant to tell his friends, exactly why you weren’t sure but you didn’t want to pry. It wasn’t as if you were sneaking around, you were just being careful.
“I have plenty things already, your company is enough.” You said, pulling away from the kiss and sitting up yourself. “But unfortunately I won’t be able to see you on my actual birthday. Mom’s making me throw a party and every teenager on Figure Eight will be there, so I doubt you’d want to come.”
“I wouldn’t be welcome even if I did want to.” JJ chuckled. You hummed in agreement.
“That’s why I wanted to celebrate today.” You chirped, getting up to retrieve a cooler that you had brought with you.
“What’s in there?”
“A special birthday picnic.”
“Oh, I see.” He grinned as you took your seat opposite him again. “And what does that consist of?”
“Well, let’s have a look.” You opened up the cooler and looked in at what you had packed with a smile. “Of course the standard picnic items; sandwiches, fruit, some baked sweets.” You listed as you took them out of the cooler. “And then, as I learned from my mother, a young lady cannot celebrate her birthday without a bottle of champagne.”
“Fancy.” JJ nodded, taking the bottle from you.
“Not as fancy as these.” You said, taking the glasses out. “Crystal champagne flutes. I snuck them out of the cabinet. We only use them for the most special of occasions and my mom loves them so we have to be careful.”
“I can be careful.” JJ poured the champagne, and you clinked your glasses with a smile. “Happy early birthday.”
“This is a much better celebration than my party will be.” You sighed, finishing your sip and setting your glass down. “I don’t understand why my mom insists that I have to have one, I’m not actually friends with anyone that’s coming.”
“But I thought you said every kid on Figure Eight was going? You’re not friends with anybody?”
“No, not really. They’re all just so fake, I can’t stand it. I genuinely don’t think that any of them are really friends with each other and they’re just constantly pretending, but I can’t be bothered to pretend.” You rolled your eyes and JJ laughed.
“Sounds exhausting.” He smiled.
“What are your friends like, J?” You asked, genuinely just curious. He told you a bit about them, stories of the crazy stuff they had done, but you never got in depth about it. You felt like it was probably because he wasn’t ready to integrate the two parts of his life.
“They’re good.” He nodded. “I mean, we’re basically family. They’re just not the biggest fans of Kooks.”
“Well, neither are you.” You giggled.
“You know what I mean. I think you’d like them, I’m just worried that they wouldn’t want to give you chance.”
“How much do you bet I could win them over just like I did you?”
“I wouldn’t love it if you won them over exactly the same way as me.” He smirked, gently taking hold of your chin and pulling you in for a kiss, which you both laughed into. “I'm gonna get you a birthday present. What if I come by on Saturday just for a minute to deliver it?”
“You know I’ll be happy to see you, but nobody else at the party will.”
“Eh, who cares.” He shrugged, and you grinned broadly.
“Okay, if you insist.” You conceded. “Now let’s eat this picnic that I so painstakingly curated.”
+ + +
Your birthday party was in full swing, the ground floor of your house teeming with teenagers. People were drinking, dancing and jumping in the pool and you weren’t enjoying any of it.
Your mother had gifted you a particularly ugly necklace that was basically just a tangle of gold chain, and Nicholas had openly bad mouthed your father for only getting you a few books, even though that’s what you had asked for. The detest that you felt for him was justified. Your dad was actually supposed to have arrived back on the island the day before, but it wasn’t unusual for him to get held up with work.
You pushed past a group of boys having some loud conversation on your way into the kitchen and poured yourself a strong drink. You threw the drink back in one gulp and slammed the plastic cup back down onto the countertop with a loud sigh.
“What’s wrong, birthday girl?” Topper asked over the music, his arm slung around Sarah’s shoulders as they came up beside you.
“I’m fine.” You shrugged.
“Did your dad get you a good present this year?” Sarah asked with a smile. “A new car maybe?”
“I already have a car.” You replied with a flat chuckle. “He got me some books that I asked for.”
“That’s kinda boring.” Topper commented. You rolled your eyes and Sarah smacked him in the side.
“I think that’s sweet. What kind if books?”
You told Sarah about the books you had gotten, actually kind if enjoying the conversation. Sarah was actually pretty easy to talk to, you felt like the fact that you weren’t putting on an act made her kind of drop hers, and it was a refreshing break from the way that the rest of the teens on Figure Eight were constantly pretending to be the perfect versions of themselves.
Your explanation of the premise of one of your books was interrupted when you felt your phone ringing in your pocket. You took it out and saw that it was your dad, and you smiled.
“I gotta take this.” You excused quickly before rushing outside to get away from the music. You answered the call excitedly, greeting your dad with a bright tone.
“Hey, Pumpkin, happy birthday!” He exclaimed. “I’m sorry I didn’t call this morning, I got caught up in meetings. You know how it is.”
“I know, dad. It’s okay, you’re calling now. Are you done with work? Do you think you’ll get here tonight?” You questioned eagerly. You heard him let out a sigh, and your smile fell.
“About that, sweetheart, I’ve had a few bumps in the road.” He began. You felt your heart sink and you were already scolding yourself for getting your hopes up before he could even tell you what the reason for missing your birthday was. “My meetings haven’t gone as well as I’d hoped and it looks like I’m going to be held up for a few more days.”
“Oh, right, okay.” You nodded, keeping your voice steady even as your eyes welled with tears. “Hope things get better then.”
“I’m sorry, Y/N, I really did want to be there. I promise I’ll make it up to you when I get back; we can have a movie marathon night, completely your pick.” You let out a chuckle despite yourself. He might not be around much but he still knew you well, and movie marathon nights were one of your favourite things to do with him.
“Sounds great, dad. I can’t wait.”
“I hope you’ve had a good day, at least. What have you been getting up to?”
“I’m having a party, actually.” You replied. You didn’t need to tell him that you didn’t want to have the party and weren’t actually really enjoying it.
“Right now? I’ll let you get back to it then.” Your dad smiled down the phone. “Have fun.”
“Thanks, dad.”
“Love you, Pumpkin.”
“Love you too.”
You said your goodbyes and ended the call, and you tucked your phone back into the pocket of your shorts. You just stood there for a few moments, the loud music and whooping of partying teenagers emanating from the house, before tears began to fall. You shook with a silent sob and had to take a seat on the concrete of your driveway.
You sat there, with your legs pulled up to your chest and your head in your knees, for a few minutes. You sniffed, wiping your tears away on the back of your hand, when you heard a shuffle of footsteps and looked up quickly.
“JJ.” You acknowledged quickly, furiously wiping at your eyes as he walked up the driveway.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He asked, his voice edged with concern. You were ready to brush away his concerns, but as he got closer you saw the bruising on his face and suddenly you had some worries of your own.
“What happened to you?”
“I asked first.” JJ countered. You watched him as he came to sit down next to you, lifting your hand and softly placing it just below his purpled cheekbone, inspecting the fresh bruising around his eye and the split in his lip, then noticing the discolouration around his collarbone. He took the hand away gently, intertwining your fingers, and you saw that there was no bruising on his knuckles; these weren’t injuries earned in a fair fight. “Why are you crying?” He repeated.
“No, that doesn’t matter.” You shook your head. You weren’t trying to downplay your upset anymore, you just knew that whatever had happened to JJ was more important. “Who did this to you, JJ?”
“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” He smiled, but there was no joy or amusement behind it. You hesitated for a moment before conceding.
“My dad missed my birthday again.” You told him. “The last time he actually made it home for my actual birthday was when I turned eleven, and yet somehow I still get my hopes up every year. I hate this party, there are at least three different types of club drugs being taken in my house right now, I’m sad. You’re turn.”
JJ sighed. He looked down at your joined hands, pausing to think for a moment before looking back up at you. He let out a short breath of soft laughter, lifting his free hand and smoothing his thumb over the crease that had formed on your brow.
“Promise not to freak out?” He asked.
“Okay.” You replied shakily. You could try to limit your reaction at least. “But you have to tell me the truth, J.”
“My dad hits me.” JJ said quickly, and you felt your lips part in shock. “I stay with John B most of the time, I try to stay out of his way when I’m home, but it’s not like I can avoid him completely.”
“Wha- Why don’t you tell somebody?” You stuttered. “Call the police or protective services or-?”
“I don’t want to.” He interrupted. “I’m happy here with my friends and if I get protective services involved then they’ll ship me off to the mainland. I can deal with my dad.”
“This doesn’t look like dealing.” You muttered softly, pushing the collar of his t-shirt to the side to get a better look at the bruise that it was partially covering. “When is this from?”
“Yesterday. I went home to get some money so I could buy you this.” JJ shifted to reach into his pocket and pulled out a small, flat box. “It’s not much but it’s all I could afford.”
You took the box from him curiously, unlinking your hand from his so that you could pull off the lid. Inside was a small silver necklace, a thin chain with a small circular pendant. When you lifted it up you saw that the pendant had a map of the world etched into it. The necklace was simple and sweet, and you felt a big smile take over your face.
“You didn’t have to get me this, J.” You simpered.
“I told you I wanted to.” He smiled back. You handed the box back to him and turned to face away, and JJ eagerly fastened the chain around your neck. He struggled a little with the tiny clasp, making you giggle. His hands ran over your shoulders before he dropped them, and you turned back to him with the smile gone from your face.
“You went through that just so you could buy this for me?” You murmured. JJ's smile faltered but didn’t fall, and he nodded slightly.
“It’s not your fault, Y/N. It’s just what happens.”
You sat silently for a little while, but your peaceful moment was interrupted by a loud round of cheering from inside. You looked over your shoulder towards the house with a groan, but then lightened up when you got an idea.
“You wanna get away from this bullshit?” You asked, gesturing towards the party.
“You wanna leave your own birthday party?” He asked with a chuckle. You shrugged.
“Nobody will notice that I’m gone. I’ll just have to come back at, like, midnight to kick everybody out.”
“Okay, then let’s go.” JJ smiled.
“Alright. Give me one minute.” You giggled, getting up quickly. “Just wait here a sec.”
You ran back into the house and pushed past all of the people to the stairs, heading up to your bedroom. You had kept the door locked to keep out horny couples. You rooted through one of your drawers until you found a set of keys, switched out of your party sandals to a pair of converse, and grabbed your car key off of your vanity before heading back out, making sure to lock your door behind you again.
You paused on the stairs to scan the crowd until you spotted Sarah, and pushed past the bodies towards her.
“Y/N! Where’d you go?” She shouted over the music.
“Just outside. I’m gonna disappear from the party for the bit, can you call me if something major happens?” You asked. Sarah frowned.
“But this is your birthday party.”
“I know it’s weird, but I’ve got some other stuff going on right now and I just need to get away for a bit.”
“Okay, I guess that makes sense. I’ll call you if anything happens.” She nodded, though the confusion was still clear on her face.
“Thanks. I’ll see you later.” You smiled, before heading back out.
JJ was stood at the side of the driveway waiting for you when you came back out, slamming the front door shut after yourself. You grabbed his hand and pulled him after you to your car with a smile.
“Where are we going?” He questioned as you started the engine and began backing out.
“My other house.” You answered.
“Sorry, did you say ‘other house’?”
“My dad’s house. He hasn’t been home in eight months and I haven’t been there in about five, but a cleaner comes by every two weeks to maintain it.” You explained.
“Jesus you’re rich.” JJ mumbled. He had a teasing smile on his face but the comment made you feel a little guilty.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to show off or anything. We don’t have to go to my dad’s if you don't want-"
“Y/N, it’s fine.” He laughed. “You didn’t choose to be born into a rich family the same way I didn’t choose to be born into a poor one.”
“I know, I just don’t want to be... insensitive isn’t the right word. I just don’t want to seem like I take it for granted; I don’t want you think that I’m that kind of person.”
“I don’t.” He assured you. “You don’t treat me like I’m any different for being poor, so I don’t care that you’re rich.”
It wasn’t long until you were pulling into the driveway of your dad’s house. It was grand and expensive looking, but it was still smaller than your mom’s; she had kept the house after the divorce and since your dad wasn’t even home most of the time he’d decided that he didn’t need quote so much space.
The inside was modestly decorated, no elaborate sculptures or outlandish wall decorations like so many of the other houses on Figure Eight. The furniture was very nice, and the few paintings and things that were on the walls were expensive, but your father was a man of simple taste. He didn’t even have any fancy chandeliers.
“I expected something more opulent for the richest man in the Outer Banks.” JJ commented as he looked around.
“Since when was opulent a word in your vocabulary?” You questioned with a giggle. JJ gasped, and pinched you in the side with a frown.
“I’m not completely dumb.” He objected.
You laughed, grabbing his hand and dragging him after you into the living room. You flicked on the light before dropping yourself onto the sofa and pulling JJ down with you.
“What kind of movies do you like?” You asked him as you picked up the remote and switched on the TV.
“Uh, I don’t know, action and horror.” He shrugged.
“What kind of horror? Slasher? Psychological? Paranormal?”
“I don’t know.” He chuckled. You gave an exaggerated sigh, going into the horror section on Netflix.
“Fine, I guess I’ll pick.”
You ended up putting on The Blair Witch Project after discovering that JJ had never seen it, and the two of you settled down. You were thankful to be away from the crowded mess of your birthday party and just have a quiet night with JJ.
“But I don’t understand how they managed to make it scary, basically nothing happened.” JJ perplexed after the movie ended.
“Yeah, that’s why it’s genius.” You grinned up at him. Throughout the course of the film you had ended up lying across the sofa with your head resting on his lap. “All of the horror is in the fact that you know that something this out there but you never see it. Modern horror movies could never.”
“That’s crazy bro.” He said, making you laugh. He looked down at you with an amused smile and a sparkle in his eye that made your heart jump.
“Do you wanna stay here for the night?” You offered once your laughter subsided. “I’m sure my dad has some stuff in his closet that you can sleep in.”
“Are you sure? I mean, don’t you have to go home?”
“Nah, my mom and Nicholas are staying at a hotel tonight so that I can have my party so they won’t know that I’m not there.” You shrugged. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”
“No, I’d like to stay.” He smiled. You let out a relieved breath that you didn’t realise you’d been holding.
“Cool. I need to go and kick everyone out of my house but we can watch another movie when I get back if you want?”
“Sounds good to me. Do you want me to come with you?”
“Probably best if you don’t, you know, with the whole ‘every Kook on the island is there’ thing.” JJ laughed lightly at that.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He nodded. “Can I have a shower while you’re gone.”
“Sure.” You chuckled as you sat up. “You can use my en suite and I’ll get you something to change into.”
You took him upstairs, grabbing a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts from one of your dad’s drawers before showing him into your room. It was plainly decorated like the rest of the house, but you had posters and photos tacked up and covering almost every inch of the walls.
“This is nice.” JJ smiled, looking around.
“Don’t go snooping around while I’m gone, a person’s bedroom is their kingdom.”
“I’ll mind my own business.” He agreed with a salute that made you grin.
“And make sure you dry off properly, I don’t want you dripping all over my nice carpet.”
“Jeeze, any more rules?”
“Uh, nope. I think that’s it.” You chirped. “I should be back in, like, half an hour. I’m pretty sure I left some chicken nuggets in the freezer last time I was here, you can have those if you get hungry. Or maybe I’ll get takeout on my way back?”
“Takeout sounds good.” JJ nodded, beaming, and pulled you in for a kiss before you left.
#outer banks#obx#obx fanfiction#jj maybank#jj outer banks#obx jj#obx2#jj maybank x reader#jj mayback x reader#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank fic#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank x kook!reader
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BLOOM | Sukuna X You | Part 3/3 [COMPLETED]
CHARACTERS: Sukuna X You | Gojo Satoru | Geto Suguru | Shoko Ieiri | Maki | Fushiguro Toji | Baby Megumi | Megumi's Mom (OC) CHAPTER COUNT: 3/3 WORD COUNT: 10,900+ GENRE: romance | fluff | slight angst | smut | ooc sukuna | female reader | modern au CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING: profanity/strong language | alcohol use | age gap | smut/sexual intercourse SPOILERS: N/A
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“You up for it?”
You were sitting at your usual spot at Maki’s. It was still quite early so the pub wasn’t as crowded as it usually is, and it was a weekday. You were there to meet Sukuna but the owner suddenly started chatting you up like she usually does, beating around the bush for a bit before she finally asked you a favor. Apparently, they’re under-staffed and is in need of another waitress but hiring a new one was out of the question since it was a temporary post, just until the person who really works for her recovers from a broken ankle.
“It’s just from four in the afternoon to eight on weekdays, and since you’re usually hanging around here during those times, I thought of asking you. We’re just really short of hands for the next week,” she said, flashing you a rueful smile. “I asked Ieiri but she’s in the middle of her internship.”
Maki had been there for you before, talking to you when you had issues you couldn’t share with your friends and always giving you free non-alcoholic drinks during your exams, and you didn’t see anything wrong with helping her out for once. You’ll earn from it, too. “Sure. When do I begin?”
She clapped her hands excitedly which took you aback. She’s always so tough, barking orders here and there or putting rowdy customers in their proper places, that you didn’t really expect her to be all giggly and excited all of a sudden. “You’ll do it?”
“Yeah, why not?”
She hugged you then. “Oh my god, Y/N. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
You waved her aside, chuckling. “It’s fine. It’s for a week anyway. No big deal.”
She sighed in relief. “You don’t know how much weight you’ve taken off my shoulders, so it is a big deal. Okay for you to start on Monday?”
You nodded.
“I’m giving you all the cherry blossom tea smoothie you want.” She grinned cheekily at you then. “And speaking of cherry blossoms, I noticed you and Sukuna coming here together. Are you together now?”
You felt your face heating up at the mention of the man's name but you shook your head. "Not yet."
"Yet?"
You chuckled awkwardly. "We're working it out, I guess. We're not exclusively dating though and he isn't my boyfriend..." You felt a bit uncomfortable at the thought. It's the first time you're saying it out loud, what Sukuna isn't to you, and you had to admit the notion was kinda disappointing. But the problem was with you. "Yeah...just that."
"He likes you though. I see the way he looks at you." Maki smiled knowingly at you. "Does this have something to do with your no dating policy? It's ridiculous if you ask me. Sukuna is a good man."
Ah, straightforward as always. "I know that. That's why I'm letting him have a go at changing my mind."
"And is he successful so far?"
"He's almost there." You frowned then, catching her comment about him. "You seem to know him well."
"We go way back," Maki explained. "My old man still owns the pub when he was a student and he came here all the time listening to me and that old geezer fight."
"Oh. That must have been a sight."
"Plus he's friends with my cousin, Toji."
You tilted your head in question. Sukuna never really talked about his friends, and he has never introduced you to any of them. It’s the first time you’re hearing about that side of him. “Really? What was he like back then?”
Maki snorted. “He was an idiot who had too much time in his hands. He’s smart, but had a penchant for mischief. I mean, I guess you already figured that out just looking at him. Nobody really thought he would end up to be this big-shot architect.”
You laughed. “Really?”
“Toji’s influence, I guess. That one’s a bigger idiot.” She looked deep in thought for a moment then said, “Why his wife chose him instead of Sukuna is a puzzle.”
You were confused. You did not know what she was talking exactly, and why her cousin’s wife should have chosen Sukuna was beyond you. For some reason, you didn’t have a good feeling about it, then you remembered what he told you before about dating just one person.
Could it be… “No…” You didn’t even realize you said that out loud until Maki held onto your hand, squeezing gently.
“I’m sorry. I said too much.”
“Well, don’t stop now,” you found yourself saying, unable to help it. “Is the situation what I think it is? Your cousin’s wife…He told me before that he only ever steadily dated one girl. Is it…?”
Maki nodded, grimacing. “They cheated on him six years ago.”
“So, he lost his girlfriend and best friend?” You felt your heart break at the thought. You might not have known him back then, but you couldn’t help but feel bad on his behalf.
“Yes. I’m not saying it’s his fault, but he’s hardly ever there since he was busy.”
“It’s not enough grounds for them to do that!” you stated loudly, feeling genuinely hurt for him. Damn, if he dated just one woman ever and never had a relationship again before you – for six years – then that spoke volumes of how much it affected him afterwards. You caught yourself and flashed Maki an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”
“Understandable.” She sighed. “He went overseas and didn’t come back until just two years ago. Guess why he came back.”
“Why?”
“To attend their wedding.”
You didn’t know what was more messed up, but you also know Sukuna to be a genuinely good person. If he disappeared for that long only to come back to attend his best friend and ex’s wedding, then it only meant he totally forgave them. If he was giving another relationship a chance, particularly with you, then it also meant he has healed. How he could be so caring and affectionate towards you despite what he went through astonished you, but maybe that’s just how he really was as a person.
“Are they okay now?”
“Yes.” She laughed slightly then. “You should see how he dotes on Toji’s son.”
Maki ruffled your hair, seeing how you’ve reacted. “Just one piece of unsolicited advice, Y/N. If you decide to be with him, be certain about it and don’t ever hurt him.”
You only nodded, taking her words to heart. She was right. Just as you were afraid to be left alone, nobody deserves to be hurt like that. You wanted to be angry at the fact that his own best friend did that to him but at the same time, you were proud of him for coming out of it while maintaining a good view about the whole concept of relationships and perhaps love. It radiated in the way he treated you, and all the effort he is putting into making things work despite your hesitations.
He arrived a few moments later, showing you that crooked smile of his. You both had one beer, and over that, he asked about your day and he told you about yours. When you were finished with your drinks, he said, “Mind going out for a drive? I wanted to tell you something.”
“Okay.” You couldn’t meet his eyes after what Maki told you, and several times, he asked if you were okay to which you responded affirmatively, trying to keep your emotions at bay.
Sukuna took you to the cliffs just around the city limits, parking his car a few yards from the edge enough to have a good view of the sea of lights below. When he killed the engine, you disembarked from his Jeep, walking closer to the edge when you felt his hand on your arm.
“Not too close to the edge,” he said, looking at you with concern written all over his face, but before he could ask what was bothering you, you said, “You were going to tell me something.”
At that, he sighed as if in long-suffering. “Yes, that.” He looked at you seriously as if he was going to tell you something grave only to end up saying, “I’m going to be away for two weeks starting Monday. I’m going to London.”
Momentarily forgetting about your conversation with Maki, you blinked, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. “Why did you have to look like you’re about to tell me you’re going to be executed or something? Jesus, Sukuna.” You laughed despite yourself.
“Don’t laugh. I’m annoyed.” He pouted. “Aren’t you sad? Two weeks is a long time. I won’t get to see you, and I have to check for time zones if I want to talk to you over the phone.”
You held his hand, twining your fingers with his before raising it to plant a kiss on his knuckles. “I will miss you, but you don’t have to be so upset about it. I’ll be right here when you come back. Stop being all dramatic.”
“I’m not!”
“You’re funny.”
He rolled his eyes, but then said, “So, before that, I was planning to take you to meet my best friend and his wife on Saturday. I’ve been telling them about you…”
The rest of his words faded, the only thought registering in your head was how he mentioned his best friend and his wife. You were going to meet them. You couldn’t say no to that given that they seem to play integral parts in his life despite what happened. “Okay.”
“You’re gonna love their little boy,” he said excitedly.
“Sure…”
“But really, Y/N? You won’t have a whirlwind romance with some college brat while I’m away?”
You let go of his hand, stepping back. You didn’t like the sound of that. Not one bit. Not when he was speaking from experience. “What do you take me for?!” The words came out a little harsher than you intended, the resentment you felt for his previous relationship resurfacing.
He arched a brow at you, puzzled at your outburst. “Y/N, I was kidding.”
Not able to hold back anymore, you turned away from him as tears started flooding your vision. You didn’t even know why you were crying over the whole thing, and you just felt like an idiot as you faced him again, frantically drying your tears.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He looked alarmed as he held onto both of your hands, stopping you from wiping harshly at your face. “Why are you crying? Is it because of what I said?”
You shook your head. “No…no. Can I hug you though?” you asked and he almost laughed as he himself drew you closer, wrapping his arms around you. “You never have to ask.”
You did the same, holding onto him tightly, hoping it was enough for you to get rid of any feeling of hurt left in him if there was any to begin with; that it was enough for him to be at ease where you were concerned when he goes away. Still, you wanted to make sure. You stayed like that until you’ve calmed down, thinking you were doing it more for yourself than for him.
“What brought this on?”
“You won’t get mad?” you asked between hiccups, looking up at him.
“Why would I?”
“Promise me first. I just don’t want to hide anything from you and it’s been bothering me.”
“Okay. I promise.” As if to emphasize his words, he pecked you on the tip of your nose. “Now what is bothering you?”
“Since you mentioned your best friend,” you began, “Toji, right?”
He eyed you, nonplussed. “How did you know?”
“Maki told me…” You started tearing up again. “She-she told me w-what happened. Everything…so I know…Please don’t get mad.”
He clucked his tongue. “That woman. Seriously.”
“I’m glad she told me and I’m sorry if I pried, but I can’t…”
“Is that why you’re crying?”
“Y-yes.”
“Why?”
“Because they hurt you.”
His expressions softened. “Silly.”
You pulled him close, wrapping your arms around him. “It’s not silly. Nobody deserves that, least of all you. You’re always so good to me, and I can’t imagine anybody doing that to you, least of all your best friend.”
Sukuna’s hug tightened a tad, placing his chin on top of your head. “No sense crying about it anymore, Y/N. I’ve forgiven and forgotten. It wasn’t their fault if they felt that way when I went away. They found common ground, I guess. Toji thought he was losing his best friend and she felt the same way.”
“Okay.”
“If it isn’t too much to ask, I want you to get to know them, too, just like I want to be close to Satoru, Suguru and Ieiri. They’re important to me.”
“Okay.”
“You mean it?”
“Yes.” You met his gaze. “If they’re important to you, then I will do that for you and meet them.”
He wiped away your tears then. “Thank you.”
“Don’t sweat it,” you mumbled, breathing in deeply. “Sorry you had to see me like this.”
“You don’t have to hide anything from me.” He shrugged then, snickering. “Maki’s timing sure is impeccable.”
And so, Saturday came and you held onto Sukuna’s hand as he helped you out of the Jeep after parking in front of a two-story house with pale yellow walls and white shutters. Before it was a small, well-tended yard surrounded with white picket fences, very much like the house you grew up in under the care of your grandfather. A small, plastic slide and swing set was placed on the grass along with a tiny bike and some toys in the sandbox.
“You okay?” he asked, interrupting your reverie. When you nodded, he said, “You’re not gonna cry, are you?” making you smack him on the arm. “Ow?”
“Serves you right.”
Just then, the door opened revealing this couple you assumed to be the Fushiguros. They looked good together, both with raven hair with their equally dark-haired little boy who looked about eighteen months old, all chubby cheeks and pudgy cuteness.
Toji was this big, hulking man with a vertical scar on the right side of his mouth which oddly added to his charm instead of marring his handsome face. He was carrying his little boy in his muscular arms, taking the edge off his tough looks. He was the first one to approach.
"Hi. Y/N, right?"
"Yes, hi." You shook his hand, smiling genuinely despite your previous notions regarding him and his wife who also stepped forward, taking your hands in hers. She was beautiful, too, and she gave you this feeling of coming home with her bright eyes and kind smile. You couldn’t blame Toji for falling for her, then again, Sukuna used to be in love with her, too.
"You're so pretty!" she said as a way of greeting. "I'm Mirai. It's nice to meet you."
Toji glanced at Sukuna, the gesture injected with meaning. "It's nice to finally meet you. Typically, he's quiet, but he won't shut up about you."
"Shut up," Sukuna muttered.
"It's nice to meet you both." You chuckled. "He isn't quiet around me either." Then your eyes shifted to their kid. You weren't exactly enamored with the idea of children, but you understood what Sukuna meant. "Hi, little angel," you couldn't help but say to the boy who was looking at you with wide, sparkly eyes framed with long lashes. "Your son is lovely."
"Thank you," Mirai returned happily, watching her son reaching for you. "Aww, Megumi likes you."
"Megumi," you repeated. "Blessing?"
"Yes," Toji said proudly and you gathered from his statement that he named the baby.
You looked towards Sukuna as if for assurance as you reached out. "May I hold him?"
"Sure." Toji handed Megumi to you and you followed after them as they led you and Sukuna into their home, marveling at how well-behaved he was, just leaning against your chest and sucking on his thumb, all warm and smelling like baby powder and everything that reminded you of happiness.
The two men went to the living room to catch up while you went to the kitchen with Mirai who was curiously asking you one thing after the other.
"Sukuna told us you're a student. What are you studying?" she asked as she stirred something in a pot.
"Comprehensive literature," you answered, untangling Megumi's hand from your hair.
"Are you sure you're okay carrying Megumi?" Mirai threw you a rueful smile.
You nodded, beaming warmly at the child. "I don't mind. He's so adorable."
Mirai smiled lovingly at her son. "Isn't he? I was so happy when I first had him and saw how much he looked like his dad."
"Yeah, he's like a mini version of Toji. He has your eyes though."
“Thank you.” She grinned. "So, how long have you known Sukuna?"
"Just almost half a year. Around that."
"Guy's whipped for you, Y/N."
"I heard that!" Sukuna called out from the living room. He suddenly entered the kitchen, plucking Megumi off your arms saying, "My turn. How's my favorite boy?"
You just snickered, your thoughts elsewhere. It got you wondering if you would even have met Sukuna if things didn't turn out the way they have. You were picturing Sukuna standing beside Mirai instead of Toji but you just couldn't and it got you contemplating that maybe things ended up the way they did because that's what's meant to be.
As opposed to your resentment to what they did to him, you were now glad, perhaps even thankful and more understanding of Sukuna's reasons for letting things go and remaining friends with them. Because if those things didn't happen, you won't have him. Because if they didn't turn out that way, you wouldn't be watching him being all silly and adorable with Megumi, giving you a picture of what kind of father he would be when he did have kids. Because then, you wouldn't be considering the possibility of a future with anyone…with him.
Then you froze as your feelings for him became clearer. Because why else would you be spending all your time with him, being close to him and getting to know him? Why were you so keen on making sure he was happy? Why were you hurting on his behalf? Why was the world suddenly a better place despite the fact that you're supposedly alone?
It was simple. You're in love with him.
"Y/N?" you heard his deep voice resonating from inside your head then louder as your vision began to focus. He was standing in front of you with Megumi in his arms.
"Huh?"
"You okay? You were spacing out."
"Just thinking." You bit your lower lip, looking apologetic.
"Getting lost in your own world again, I see?" he teased.
"Getting lost in yours is more like it."
He and Miriai looked at you at the same time, the latter giggling pretty much like Ieiri whenever you told her about Sukuna. "You two are so cute."
You brushed the comment off, approaching her. "How can I help?"
You set the table with Toji's help, listening to him talk about Megumi and Mirai with such profound fondness and pride. Just like Sukuna, his appearance was an irony to his funny and soft personality it was disconcerting.
"It's great to have guests over. We rarely do this but Sukuna comes here every Saturday, and well, he isn't a guest anymore," Mirai said as she fed Megumi.
"Thanks for having me then," you replied, still fixated on their kid who was babbling about with his mouth full while he repeatedly knocked a plastic spoon on his high chair.
The conversation was light, circling on their old days, but you knew they were trying to skirt around the ugly things. Mirai regaled you of how Toji got the scar on his mouth. Turns out he and Sukuna were street racers at some point. "Easy cash," as the former had put it. "I mean who wants a part time job if you earn thousands a night?"
"So, what do you plan to become after you graduate?" she asked you again.
"A writer, maybe?"
At that, Sukuna started telling them about your date at the fancy restaurant and how you pretty much nailed the story of the lone old woman who gave you wine. "She's amazing like that," he said fondly, absently patting you on your thigh.
"I'm sure Y/N here finds you impressive, too," Toji teased. "Right, Y/N?"
"Yeah, he smells awfully great it's making my thoughts incoherent," you sallied, "But jokes aside..." You let your voice trail off on purpose, gauging his reaction.
"What?" he prompted.
"That's for me to know," you finally stated, making the couple laugh.
"No fair!"
After lunch, you helped Mirai clean up. Megumi was asleep in his crib after his meal and the guys stood by the backdoor, enjoying some beer. You dried the plates quietly while she washed and told you about Toji.
"It's like raising two kids, really," she told you. "He doesn't pick up after himself and our Megumi is more considerate than he is."
"But you love him," you teased.
"With all that I am." Her eyes strayed to Sukuna then. "Cherish him. Don't let that one get away."
At her words, you felt the same hurt you did when you first learned what the real deal was with them from Maki. You blood boiled out of the blue as thoughts started racing in your head a hundred miles per second. How dare she say that to you when she herself let him go? How dare she hurt him like that and yet keep him as a friend?
The sound of something breaking brought you out of your trance, and you realized the plate you were wiping had fallen onto the floor. But your attention was on her, your steely eyes hard and intense as you said, "You're the last person I expect to be telling me such things."
"I..."
You stepped away from her only to be met by Sukuna's disappointed expression, but you ignored that as well as you turned away. "Excuse me,” you said, bowing slightly as you walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, grabbing your bag before walking out of the house.
The crisp autumn air blew coldly against you, ruffling your hair and your dress as you stood there, not really knowing where to go or what to do. Suddenly, you felt stupid for saying something like that to Mirai when she had been nothing but nice towards you, her and Toji. You also liked their son. And judging by how Sukuna looked at you, you had this niggling feeling that you've ruined it all, eating at you from the inside out.
Just then, the door opened and closed behind you. You didn't have to turn around to know it was Sukuna who followed you out. You've grown so accustomed to his presence that at times, he only had to look at you and you already understand what he wants to convey.
"Y/N, sweetheart, what's going on?" he asked, trying hard to keep the edge off his tone.
You didn't turn to face him, afraid of what you will see. "You heard what I said. Do I really have to explain?"
He walked around you, grabbing you by the shoulders, shaking you slightly. "I thought we're over this. I thought I already explained this to you."
That doesn't cut it, you thought but opted not to say it. He might have told you that he has forgiven and forgotten, and although you weren't involved in it, you still felt displeasure whenever you remembered it. It wasn't as if Mirai and Toji did you wrong, and it wasn't as if you had the right to say shit but she didn't have the right to tell you anything either knowing to herself what she had done. You didn't want to hear anything from her about what you ought to do and decide where Sukuna was concerned. It just didn't sit right with you.
"I know. I'm wrong. I get it," you snapped, shrugging his hands off you. "I wanna go home." You started walking away from him, but you stopped when he said, "What is wrong with you?"
You turned back, breath snagging as you let out a mirthless chuckle. "What is wrong with me?" you repeated, your voice coming out soft but with a bitter edge to it. "I know I am wrong for blurting out the things I did, and I am sorry."
"Y/N –"
"But don't strip me of my right to be angry when Mirai tells me to cherish you and not let you go as if she has any right to do it," you cut him off. "I didn't have the right to call her out on her transgressions to you, but don't tell me I can't cry or be mad at the fact that you had to go through all that because I care too damn much for you!"
Your eyes started to fill with tears as you regarded him, seeing the world come alive with blossoms dancing in the wind while in reality, the world was at its last legs, leaves falling all around you. Whenever you looked at him, you felt like everything was flourishing, filling your existence with beautiful things in an abundance of colors. "I'm so in love with you that I can't bear the thought of you getting hurt. I hate it when I know you're tired but you still smile for me anyway. I hate it when you look disappointed whenever I hesitate and couldn't make up my mind."
"I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. I was being a jerk, but that's how much I love you. I love you, Sukuna, more than I can possibly tell you. I can't pretend I don't."
"Say that again," he murmured.
"What?" you demanded gruffly, too caught up in your emotions to comprehend.
"You said you love me. Say it again." Now he looked like he was about to cry, eyes glistening even as he smiled wide with joy, drawing nearer and taking your hand in his.
You sighed in relief, feeling your chest loosen up. It felt great saying it out loud. Beyond just great. "I love you."
The moment you let go of the words, you were wrapped up in his warmth, his arms tight around you while you listened to the thundering beats of his heart. He held you at arm's length, looked deep into your eyes as he cupped your face and leaned in to claim your lips in a brief kiss. Spring has come in the middle of autumn, filling your senses and making you feel like you could fly. He held you in place, eyes closed as he touched his forehead to yours, letting out a shaky laugh.
"Do you mean that?" He opened his eyes slowly and you were lost in their depths as you nodded. "Yes."
"You haven't asked, but I happen to be just as in love with you if not more."
"I already knew that. How can I not when you show me every day? It's comforting to hear you say it out loud though." You smirked at him. "You know, when you don't think I'm asleep."
He stiffened against you. "You heard that?"
"God, it was so hard to keep my eyes closed and stop myself from reacting when you told me you're in love with me."
He clucked his tongue. "You waited this long to respond to me?"
"I told you I didn't wanna give it to you half-assed. I’m giving you my heart just as I want yours, and if you’re ready to entrust it wholly to me, I can’t just reciprocate with pieces of mine."
“You had it since the first day we met. I didn’t have to see everything else to know you’re the one who owns it.” Sukuna kissed you on the forehead, hugging you to him and just standing there with you, watching cars pass by the road, reveling in his proximity and his warmth. You didn’t need much of anything if you had him.
But then you broke out of his hold, realizing the mess you’ve made.
"What is it?"
"I have to apologize to our hosts. Stay here," you stated, walking back to the house to find the couple in the living room, standing there as if they were expecting you to come back. Without hesitation, you bowed before them. "I sincerely apologize for what I said. I should not have said that to you, Mirai. And it isn't my intention to indirectly hurt you, too, Toji. I'm sorry."
"What is this girl saying?" you heard Mirai say as she approached you and hugged you tight. "You silly girl. We deserve that and we don't deserve Sukuna. Everyone just gave us a free pass, and we were glad you were brave enough to say it to us like that. You have nothing to apologize for."
"Still..."
Toji shook his head. "No, Y/N. Thank you. For loving Sukuna and for giving us the chance to finally forgive ourselves, too."
At that, you smiled, nodding in understanding.
When it was time to leave, Megumi woke up and you had the chance to say goodbye to him, too, holding onto him until you had to get out the door.
"Visit us anytime, Y/N," Mirai said, winking. "Sukuna doesn't have to be with you."
"So, you're throwing me away cause you have Y/N now? Some friends you are," he sniped, causing another round of easy laughter.
"I'll come by soon," you promised, pecking Megumi on the cheek. "See you, angel."
***
"So, you're officially together now?" Suguru asked, helping you pack for the trip to the mountains Sukuna had planned, scheduled immediately after his return.
"Two weeks ago, but he had to go to London," you said, and in the next second, Ieiri and Satoru both brought out their wallets, handing bills to Suguru.
"I knew there was something different when he drove you home that afternoon."
"I can't believe you three are betting over my relationship with Sukuna," you muttered, zipping up your small luggage.
Suguru won fair and square though. He had been right to ask from the start when he walked in on you and Sukuna making out on the porch when the latter dropped you off. The drive then was quiet but you had the shut the guy up for teasing you about that "one hell of a confession," as he had put it. But he immediately took control, shoving you against the wall beside the door and kissing you stupid.
"What did I say about raising her on my own?" Suguru gloated, slinging an arm over your shoulder much to the annoyance of your supposed two other parents.
Satoru scoffed. "I was the one who did the hardest job of interrogating him the first time he came and brought our little girl dead drunk!"
"Yeah, he said you're intimidating," you told him, chuckling, and he positively glowed until you said, "But he said you apologized afterwards so..."
Suguru and Ieiri laughed hard at him.
"On a more serious note, Sukuna isn't gonna be as lucky the moment you get hurt, Y/N," Satoru stated calmly and the other two nodded in agreement. "Just putting it out there."
You would do the same for them, too, so you also agreed. "And if I'm the one causing him shit?"
"That's on him, too," Suguru said, ruffling your hair. "You're our princess, Y/N. It doesn't matter who's right or wrong when the time comes. You'll probably get an earful from us, too, cause we like the guy, but you will always have us first."
You clucked you tongue. "You're all being dramatic, but thanks. Much appreciated."
"It's the first time you're going steady with anyone. We're just making sure we've covered all the bases," Ieiri stated.
"Yeah, and before we forget..." Satoru took something out from under your bed, handing it to you.
You eagerly looked into the bag, thinking it was a present but you wanted to throw it at his face the moment you found out what it was.
"I got the bigger sizes cause Sukuna looks loaded in that department. Special edition, ultra-thin in – wait for it – mixed berry flavor." He winked. "Wrap it before you tap it."
"Ha ha, Satoru. You're really funny." You motioned to hit him, but laughed with him nonetheless as you rummaged through the bag. "Where the hell did you even get these?"
"Ordered them in from Amsterdam. You're welcome, princess."
"You're fucking weird for handing me rubbers, but thanks, dad." You handed the bag back to him. "You're giving them to Sukuna yourself though."
"Fine!"
And that he did when Sukuna arrived to come pick you up, strictly telling the man to open it in private much to the latter's confusion. Still, he accepted graciously.
"Don't open that thing," you said the moment you were in his car.
"That makes me want to open it now," he said.
You clucked you tongue, and shook your head. "Do that when I'm not looking." You tilted your head to have a better look at him, reaching over to make him face you. You frowned at the dark circles under his eyes. "What have you been doing in London?"
"Not sleeping enough is one of them, and I'm jetlagged." He took your hand in his and started planting butterfly kisses on your fingers. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too." You cupped the side of his face and leaned over, pecking him on the lips. "You're going to sleep the moment we get to our destination."
"But –"
"No buts." You took the key off the ignition. "And I'm driving." You got out of the car, rounding it to the driver's side, opening the door. "Scoot."
Sukuna grinned at you. "Is being bossed around what it entails to be your boyfriend, sweetheart?" he asked, swinging his legs towards the door.
You moved closer, standing between his legs. "And if I say yes? Do you want out?" you asked, flashing him a sultry smile as you drew closer to him, your breaths mingling.
"I can't say I don't like it." He kissed you, deeper than the peck you gave him earlier.
"It's safer if I drive," you spoke against his lips. "Move."
"Just this once," he acceded, moving towards the passenger side while you climbed behind the wheel, gunning the car out of the property. But opposite to his words, he was asleep not an hour into the drive.
You never really realized how long two weeks could be until you had to wait for Sukuna to come back safe and sound. Though your time had been occupied by your studies and every other thing you did, you were always distracted by your phone, waiting for his messages and calls that you had to find yet another distraction in the form of a new video game you've gotten over the mail just two days after he left. But that was just momentary as you finished it in three days of continual gaming. You even went to visit the Fushiguros the weekend prior much to Mirai's delight just to have a semblance of familiarity where Sukuna was involved but it just made you miss him more.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, indeed. You could just laugh at yourself over the past days, thinking yourself selfish at the thought of not wanting him to go anywhere you couldn't easily reach him. But now that he was back, you are back to normal, and you knew you have to come to terms with accepting that it is a part of his job to be away from you every now and then if things are going to work out for the two of you.
You're whipped, and you know it. You've accepted that. Now, it's just a matter of not allowing yourself to become too dependent on his presence.
Sukuna woke up when you stopped for gas three hours later. Why he had to choose such a far off place to bring you to was beyond you, but you weren't complaining in that you'd go wherever he was, but it was more for the fact that he came straight out of the airport and yet he was traveling again and by car, too.
"You okay?" he asked while you munched on gummy bears, standing against the Jeep as you filled it with gas. "We can switch."
"I go on farther road trips with the boys and Ieiri every time we have the chance. Stop worrying about me."
He whined sleepily, his voice coming out thick, trapping you against the car with his body. "You're crabby today. It doesn't feel like you miss me."
"Oi, I had to order a new game just so I won't send stupid texts telling you to come back home. How dare you doubt that?"
He burst out laughing. "So you were nerding out while I was away?"
"Pretty much. Don't run away when one day, you walk into my room and find a monster holding onto my controller in the middle of pizza boxes and a whole lot of other mess. That's me needing to be brought out of my hole."
"Hey, don't do that when I go away for business trips." He looked seriously worried now. "You should do your normal routine."
"So don't say I didn't miss you because I was nearly that monster nerd I was telling you about." You popped a green gummy bear into his mouth. "And I'm still driving."
The drive continued for another two hours with you reaching the foot of the mountain at the side of the highway where you really had to switch with Sukuna since you didn't know the way.
"You didn't bring me here to murder me, did you?" you quipped, seeing how thick the forest was on the one-lane road going up the mountain. It was such green world that you almost wanted the feeling of being lost
"Probably. You're too bossy today."
"Hey, that's me being nice."
"I won't. I have other things in mind to do with you." He grinned mischievously at you, winking to which you just shook your head.
Soon enough, you reached a small, traditional village which was pretty much turned into a hot spring resort. Sukuna stopped at the largest building in the vicinity, telling you to wait in the car as he disembarked, returning very shortly later with a key dangling on his thumb. The drive continued for another twenty minutes until he parked in front of this old-style house which didn't look old at all, located at a much more secluded area of the resort. He handed you the key, telling you to go ahead while he unloads your stuff.
Yup. There was nothing old about the facilities at all with the south-facing side made entirely of glass that looked over the private hot spring and a view of the mountains beyond that. The kitchen was as modern as it could get, and judging by how Sukuna was carrying bag after bag of things into the fridge, he planned to cook during your entire stay there. You took over the job while he carried your luggage into the house. Poor thing did the shopping before coming to pick you up without telling you.
"Go shower and sleep. I can handle it from here," you told him when he entered the kitchen again, muscular arms crossed over his wide chest, eyeing you appreciatively.
Instead of doing as he was told, he came up to you, standing behind you, hands fastening onto your waist as he drew your hair to one side. He nuzzled your neck, slowly making his way up your jawline where he pressed his lips and lingered there for a bit. You smiled, reaching up with your hand to place it on his cheek.
"You need to rest, my love."
"Say that again," he whispered.
"You need to rest?" You teased, feeling him nip at your ear. "My love?"
"You keep annoying me today."
"You keep commenting about how I'm behaving today," you countered, facing him. "Come on, let me boss you around for now. You really need to get some shuteye."
"You'll let me boss you around later then?"
"Deal."
***
"Back already?"
You looked over your shoulder as you combed through your hair when you heard the sliding door open. A smile graced your lips seeing as how Sukuna looked better, more well-rested and more like himself after a long sleep, only coming to at nightfall. He took a dip in the hot spring after dinner and was returning from it.
He came in wearing that dark blue yukata provided by the resort, feeling your face grow hot when you realized you were ogling him yet again. How can you not when the garment hung loosely over his shoulder. He didn't bother tying it properly, and from the partition of the robe, you can see the broad expanse of his chest, the smattering of inked patterns following the sinews of his form.
It wasn't the first time you were seeing his tattoos, the artistic floral and tribal patterns making themselves known to you that day you woke up to him naked from the waist up. However, you did not realize they expanded all the way down the right side of his body, all the way down to the outer area of his thighs. Since he was just wearing a pair of boxers underneath the yukata, when he stepped forward, you were able to see it, and as curiosity won over you, you didn't look away even when he raised a brow at you, the ghost of amusement playing at the corners of his mouth.
You stood up, walking slowly towards him, stopping when you were less than a foot away. Your eyes shifted hesitantly between his face and that area of his anatomy silently asking for his permission to see more of it but your hands refused to move midway.
"What is it?" he asked, not exactly sure as to what you were trying to do.
Biting your lower lip. "M-may I..." You couldn't say it out loud so you pointed at his tattoos, feeling a lump forming on your throat when you realized how bold you were being.
"You don't have to ask," Sukuna whispered, taking your hand and placing it on his chest, warm and alive underneath your palm, while he drew his robe apart, eyes intent on you as you followed the expanse of skin that served as a canvass to the artfully-made representation of the four seasons in a single branch of a cherry blossom tree, meandering downwards. From his chest going down the length of his side, your hand traced over the colored patterns of smaller branches that progressed from summer to winter. Your fingers lingered over his iliac crest where new buds of the familiar pink blossoms that promised spring were immortalized on his skin.
Sukuna's breathing had deepened the moment your hand reached lower, and you relished the fact that you had that effect on him, too. You could feel heat behind your eyes as your blood rushed up to your head at the realization that you could do that to him, and even greater than that, the reality of just how much you wanted this man in front of you, how much you wanted to make him yours in every sense of the word and how much you wanted to be his and his alone.
In the dim light of the moon that was filtered by the mist rising from the springs through the open sliding doors, you looked up at Sukuna, the man you love with every single fiber of your being, leaning your head on his chest, listening to his beating heart that mirrored the thrumming in your chest.
You brushed your lips onto his bare skin, trailing kisses across his chest before looking up at him and letting yourself be devoured by those deep, hooded eyes as you stepped even closer.
"You're beautiful," you breathed out, pulling him down towards you, tears pooling in your eyes when he finally kissed you, taking your breath away.
Sukuna's large hands roamed your body as he continued to mold your mouth against his, his tongue pushing between your lips which you welcomed with your own, loving his taste, hot and wet and stirring you alive. His hands were warm and nimble as he kneaded the flesh of your hip through the fabric of your kimono, traveling lower to where the garment parted so he can slide his hand underneath. They made their way to your ass, squeezing hard before he slid lower, hooking both of his hands under your thighs. He lifted you up, urgently maneuvering your legs to wrap around his waist.
Neither of you came up for air even as he walked deeper into the room where the bed was, pawing and hungrily devouring each other, what began as a gentle kiss turning into a scorching show of dominance as you both took from each other, not quite getting enough.
"I love you," he rasped, breathless as he nipped at the shell of your ear. "I want all of you."
He then continued kissing you, seizing you at the back of your neck, roughly nibbling on your lips then progressing towards the columns of your throat, spreading the V that formed the collar of your robe. You ran your fingers through his hair, intoxicated by his scent, your toes curling as his hands travelled to outline the sides of your body possessively.
Sukuna then returned to your lips after leaving open-mouthed kisses all over your chest and collar bones, and you kissed him back just as fervently as he pressed you down against his clothed crotch, making you shiver as you felt stirrings at the pit of your stomach. You gasped at the feeling of him poking against your thigh but before you could recover, he entered his hot tongue into your mouth again, gently luring yours to mingle with his. You just let him have his way, not quite believing what was happening as you felt your skin bursting into flames wherever he touched you.
Sukuna lifted you slightly off the bed, putting you down so that you were facing away from him. From behind, he guided you towards the pillows and snaked his hands around your waist, reaching for the sash of your robe and tugging on it. When he was successful, he tossed it somewhere on the floor and reached over your shoulders, slowly feeling for the lapels of the robe, making sure his fingers brushed against your skin, sending jolts of electricity all over your body as he peeled the garment off you in deliberate and calculated slowness, coupled with his mouth following the train down your nape to your shoulders before he pushed you face down on the bed.
"Oh god," you whispered, fighting for air as he gathered your hair to your left shoulder and licked the shell of your ear. "What are you thinking about? You're too stiff. Relax," he said in that deep, sensual voice that turned your legs to jelly.
You grabbed onto the pillow, anticipating what he was gonna do next when you felt his febrile tongue making a trail on your right shoulder, the action morphing into sloppy, wet kisses going down your bare back until you could not feel your robe anywhere near your body anymore. He has already undressed you.
You were on edge and just hyper aware of everything he was doing and every single touch he left on your body made you feel like it was leaving a mark and being absorbed by every cell in your system. It felt good being this close to him, being touched by him and you wouldn’t really mind if he marked you everywhere. You wanted to be his and you wanted the world to know.
His hands travelled everywhere it could touch, pushing you to the edge and making you feel like you were burning slowly, the kind that made every corner of your body tingle with anticipation. What you didn't realize was how tight you were holding the pillow to yourself until he suddenly mentioned it.
"Y/N?"
"Hmm?" Your voice came out at a higher pitch, making you want to smack yourself. This was that you wanted and yet you were being all jittery.
He chuckled softly, stopping his ministrations. "What are you doing?"
At that, you pushed yourself off the bed a bit and turned your head sideways to meet his gaze from over your shoulder. “Sorry, I’m just…”
“Yes?”
“Overwhelmed,” you whispered, chuckling slightly. While it wasn’t your first time, everything felt new with the added sensations that your deep emotions for him were throwing into the mix. “How do you want me?”
He turned you over on your back, chuckling. "For starters, cut out the pillow hugging." He pried the thing off your arms and chucked it against the headboard. Sukuna then hovered over you, pinning your hands on either side of your head then began his assault on your neck going lower and lower until he reached your left breast and started licking and tugging on your nipple, his other hand busy kneading the other.
“You are beautiful,” he said, mouth moving against the swell of your flesh while his other hand took possession of the other hand, tentatively squeezing with his long fingers.
You let out a moan, craving for more but not certain whether you could take it or not with your heart feeling like it was going to burst out of your chest. You wanted him to touch you more and as if he read your mind, he returned to kissing you intensely until you thought you couldn't breathe, well aware of how his other hand was taking off your panties. Your heart was beating erratically in your chest as you anticipated the moment, but halfway down your thighs, he raised himself a bit and laid himself on top of you, burying his face into your hair.
“Are you sure you want this?” he asked cautiously as he raised himself slightly, looking into the depths of your eyes as if he was looking right through you.
Cupping his face, you rose slightly on your elbows, pressing your lips at the corner of his mouth. "A hundred times yes. I'm yours," you said with all the conviction you could muster in your hazy state – love drunk, kiss drunk, Sukuna drunk.
At your response, he latched his lips onto the skin of your neck, kissing lower and lower, passing over your breasts where he lingered, biting and sucking gently. You hissed as you watched him progress downward, his mouth doing all the magic from the valley of your chest down to your stomach, his hand reaching for the garment he had taken off you halfway down your legs, discarding it. The rough pads of his hands brushed over your thighs, pushing them apart as he lowered himself between them.
You let out a sharp cry when he licked a long stripe on your nether lips, his hot tongue swirling over your sensitive nub. He hummed in approval upon tasting you while he teased your folds with two of his digits. Without a warning he simultaneously pushed his fingers into you and sucked on your clit, building a rhythm that had you seeing stars with every thrust, coaxing out whimpers from your slightly parted lips. Your hips bucked towards him when you felt him reaching deep enough to touch your sweet spot again and again.
Sukuna anchored his arms around your thighs, his elbows on the mattress as he held you steady, continuing to lap at you and move his digits inside you as you felt that familiar sensation of coming undone, guiding you through it until you released so hard your juices squirted out despite his fingers still inserted in you, making a right mess of his mouth, chin and hand.
You spasmed against him but he didn't let go, continuing with his ministrations. He removed his fingers from inside you and started eating you out like a starved man, catching all of your essence from your initial orgasm and cajoling you into another one as he shoved his tongue right into you.
Your hand reached down, fingers tangling with his cherry blossom locks, not knowing whether you want to push him or keep him right where he was. He moaned as he felt your walls clenching, the vibrations caused by his voice stimulating you further, and in no time, you were releasing into his mouth again, your high hitting you like a speeding truck, slamming onto you and leaving you a shaking mess.
Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to calm down, chuckling in between each intake of breath when you felt Sukuna planting ephemeral kisses on your feverish skin, working his way up this time, worshipping your body before catching your lips in his where you tasted yourself on him.
"Can I eat you forever?" he asked with a groan. "You taste exquisite, my love."
"Alright," you panted, "But before that..." You looked him in the eye, running your hand down his chiseled abs until you reached the band of his boxers, excitement filling you as you palmed his crotch over the fabric. You snickered when his whole body seized on top of you, but you were just as out of breath feeling how massive and warm he was against your palm. You bit your lip as your hand moved, rubbing him slowly. Sukuna's eyes drooped a little as he drank in the clouded look in your eyes.
Satoru wasn't wrong about the condoms, and it further got proven to you when you pushed Sukuna’s underwear down and he rose up to his knees, finishing the job. You swore your eyes were going to pop out of their sockets when his length was released from its restraints, slapping against his stomach, thick, long and standing proud, its pink tip leaking precum that dripped down, following a prominent vein on its underside. You never wanted to put anything in your mouth as much as you wanted his dick, but the idea of it stretching you and ripping you apart from between your legs was more intriguing.
Sukuna smirked down at you. "Like what you see, sweetheart?"
"That's an understatement." You swallowed hard, taking you herculean effort to look at his face instead. "I don't just wanna look at it though."
He reached over to the nightstand, taking out that familiar bag from Satoru, quickly rummaging through it. "I'd be insulted if that's all you wanna do." He said as he took out a packet, about to rip it but you shook your head, taking it away from him.
He arched a brow at you. "You don't...Are you –"
"Stop asking me if I'm sure. I'm certain as I'll ever be." You smiled at him. "Or maybe I'll change my mind if you keep asking."
Laughing, he bent down, positioning himself between your legs as he took possession of your lips once more. You took a deep breath when you felt his tip nudging between your folds, teasing you while he busied himself with tracing the topography of your body as if committing it to memory.
Watching him now, you wished you've met him earlier in your life, loved him longer than you have at present. If you knew someone like Sukuna would come to care for you as much as he does, even in acts that are mostly governed by sheer instinct and senses, driven by need and lust, you would have combed the earth to find him. He cares so damn much for you that you knew he will find it in him to stop if you just said so even at his own expense.
"Sukuna..." his name spilled from your mouth, wanting him all for yourself, body, heart and soul. "Baby, please..." You were pleading, but for what, you didn't know exactly.
"Yes, my love?" he questioned, a smug grin playing at the corners of his mouth as he watched the mess that you are beneath him. "Tell me what you want."
"You," you whimpered, raising your hip to meet his cock, hard and burning on your skin. "I want you," you breathed out, the delicious torture in your voice coming to a crescendo when he thrust in agonizingly slow, making your wish his command.
He stretched you, gradually, gently as if he was afraid to break you, but your breath hitched for a different reason entirely. His girth left a slight burn as he pushed in, the rapturous feel of him invading your space and being wrapped in your flesh making a heated mess out of you as you grabbed everything you can get a grip on – the sheets, his shoulders, the pillow nearest to you – trying to anchor yourself from the sudden high of knowing he was inside you.
Your eyes watered at the sheer thought of being connected to him so deeply, and you found yourself falling to blissful surrender when he finally bottomed out. You felt him twitch inside you, but instead of moving as he wished, he cupped your face, delicately brushing his fingers over your flushed cheeks. He had that look of disquiet as he examined your expressions.
"You okay?"
You nodded, beaming in your state of stupor. "Please…move."
Sukuna begins to do as he was told, sliding in and out and acquainting you to his rhythm, his intense eyes hooded yet intense as he regarded you, aware of every nuance of your expressions with every single thrust. He started picking up the pace when he felt you wrap your legs around him, hitting you deeper every single time.
Pleasurable groans elicited from Sukuna's lips as he held himself up, driving his hips against yours repeatedly. "You're so tight," he rasped, his snagged breaths hot on your ears. "You feel so good."
"So good," you repeated, completely going out of it when the mere brushing of his rod against your walls drove you over the edge. You clenched tight around him and he let out a groan, eyes rounding when he realized you were close.
"Let go, baby. Cum for me," he said between pants as he pounded onto you unrelentingly.
You spoke broken syllables of his name as you came around him, riding you through your high. Acid white flashes started to flash behind your eyelids, your back arching from the bed as you keened loudly, too enraptured and absorbed in the pleasure that he was giving you.
However, before you could even recover, Sukuna lifted you off the bed, holding you against him so that your breast were rubbing against his taut chest. You wrapped your arms around him, gripping onto his shoulders while you sat astride him on your knees.
"You'll give me one more, won't you, my love?" he said, thrusting up to you whilst he gripped your waist so tight you knew you will have bruises after, making you meet every single push of his thick length.
Both your moans filled the room along with skin hitting skin, the friction between you two kept at bay by the sheen of sweat that covered your bodies. He held onto the back of your neck, roughly kissing you, your tongues dancing the lovers' minuet. Your lungs begged for air, but you were reluctant to be released from Sukuna's wild kisses while he fucked you senseless.
"Fuck," he growled through gritted teeth. "I love you," he whispered repeatedly like a mantra.
You felt him getting harder inside you as he hastened his pace, ramming into you faster and stronger, and in no time, you were screaming out his name as you came undone again with him following shortly after you did, a deep groan falling out of his mouth in a dragged out note when he spilled his seed inside of you, making you feel even fuller, your walls throbbing around his softening length.
Spent, you both fell back on the welcoming softness of the mattress with him still inside you. He landed on top of you, catching his breath while he rested his head on the crook of your neck while you wrapped your arm around him, your fingers carding through his damp locks.
“You’re amazing, Y/N,” he purred in hushed tones once he caught your breath.
Your brows furrowed in perplexity. “I didn’t do anything.”
He shook his head, pulling out and rolling away, his eyes between your thighs, watching as your mixed juices dripped down on the sheets. “I’m not just talking about your body and how you felt. That in itself is amazing, but I’m referring to everything that you are.”
You felt heat creeping up your neck, all the way to your scalp. Abashed, you covered your face with your hands. “Don’t say things like that. You’re making me a shy mess. Geez.”
“Hey, look at me.” He clucked his tongue when you didn’t move, taking your hands off of your face. When you finally did as you were told, he said, “I mean it. Sometimes, I can’t believe you’re real.”
“I should be saying that. You’re so kind to me, and I feel how much you care for me every single time you say or do something. And I’m just selfish, really.”
“No, you’re not?”
“I am, Sukuna. I want you all to myself from that time you first kissed me, but I didn’t really do much to make that happen because I’m also a wimp, so thank you for going the extra mile for me.” You smiled slightly, feeling your eyes fill with tears.
“Stop saying that.”
“But it’s true. You’re always the one putting in the effort.”
“Because I want to.” He suddenly sat up, pulling you by the arm to lift you up when you gasped, feeling a sudden jolt of pain at the base of your back and the joints on your thighs at your sudden movement. “What’s wrong?” he asked, alarmed.
You raised a finger, moving on the mattress on your own while you held onto his arm for support. “Give me a moment.”
Sukuna regarded you with wide eyes. “Did I hurt you?” He sat beside you, wrapping arm around your shoulder and soothingly rubbing your arm. “Are you aching anywhere?”
“A bit, but it’s the good kind.” You smirked at him. “You’re amazing,” you said, imitating his tone earlier when he said you’re beautiful, your eyes traveling to his crotch. “You wrecked me, my love.”
He didn’t know whether to laugh or be upset. “You say the most outrageous things and it doesn’t help that you don’t hold back either.”
“Too shocking?” you offered.
“Scandalous!” he quipped, chuckling and you joined in on the laughter, the merry sound breaking through the stillness. “Can I carry you now?”
“Sure.” You lifted your arms, latching onto his neck, letting him take you to the bathroom.
“Let’s wash up and take a dip.”
You nodded and let him have his way around you, standing on the shower stall with him as he did everything while you just held onto him, your legs still wobbly. He kissed you on the cheek, the action soft and delicate, filling you with happiness. You can’t believe he is real.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he spoke against your skin.
You pulled away from him, placing your hand on either side of his face, and with a triumphant smile, you said, “I’m not. Never will be.”
“I love you.”
“I love you more. Don’t argue.” You pecked him on the lips.
Sukuna beamed at you toothily. “Alright, sweetheart.”
He carried you out of the bath and out of the sliding doors that led to the hot spring, setting you down into the water carefully as if you’d break if he didn’t take caution. The hot water felt glorious on your skin, immediately melting the knots of your muscles as you sat between his legs, both of you submerged chest-deep.
“Damn, that feels good,” you sighed, mollified as you leaned against Sukuna’s broad chest, closing your eyes in bliss. “I can stay here forever.”
“Are you talking about the hot spring?”
“Yes and no,” you said without hesitation. “The water feels nice, but it wouldn’t be complete without you holding me.”
“You’re being sweet now after bossing me around earlier?” He wrapped his arms around you, placing his chin on your shoulder. “We can always come here when we both have free time. And I’ll always hold you like this.”
“I like that.”
“I love you,” he mumbled, nuzzling on the spot below your ear and breathing in deeply. “You smell divine.”
“I know. I smell like you.”
“Thank heavens then cause that’s what seemed to lure you to me,” he kidded.
You just smiled, reaching blindly to place your palm on his cheek, trying to get a semblance of reality although it was already staring you in the face, the emotions and sensations he has making you feel very much real, but you seem to be in a dream state, unable to come to terms with the fact that spring has finally come for you in the person of the man whose arms held you tight and close to his heart.
“Sukuna…”
“Yes, my love?”
“Thanks for existing."
-THE END-
So, I made Megumi's mom's name here "Miriai." I made her an OC because I can't just keep referring to her as "she/her." It's quite confusing. I hope this doesn't bother anyone. I cringed, too, trust me.
Okay, Toji is also OOC here. Haha! I went all the way with conjuring these characteristics and since Sukuna, my love, is super soft here (he has cherry blossom tats XD), why not Toji, too?
Anyway, I would like to say thank you to everyone who read this fic! Stay tuned for more. Love you guys :)
Additional notes are available in the masterlist, particularly on the reasons why I wrote some things the way I did.
Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.
© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S JUJUTSU KAISEN. [20210630]
PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART SOURCES FULLY CREDITED TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.
#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#jjk sukuna#jjk ryomen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen ryomen sukuna#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#sukuna smut#sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna smut#ryomen sukuna fluff#sukuna fic#sukuna fanfic#sukuna fanfiction#ryomen sukuna fic#ryomen sukuna fanfic#sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x you#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#jjk smut#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fanfic
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Over the Rails: Cold Floors and Sparks
Summary: After Peter posts, a video of him and his friends at the roller rink on the Avengers group chat Bucky can’t seem to get his mind off Peter’s friend who stole the show, and after getting goaded into going skating with the other avengers (Natasha’s conniving planning) where Peter’s friend works at Bucky can’t help but feel that there’s something more to look forward to.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus-Sized Reader
Word Count: 3k+
Warnings: Swearing, Physical harm (from Roller Skating), Future Confrontational Violence, Creepers making woman uncomfortable, .
A/N: It’s long. Sorry. Enjoy.
Friday seemed to be getting closer and closer and Bucky couldn’t help the growing anxiety that he felt as the day grew closer. He didn’t have any issues with hanging out with the Avengers or even being around other people, he had worked through those issues with Xavier on one of his sessions so he knew he could get through it.
Bucky knew that choosing to call his therapist at three in the morning on a weekday would be an excessive thing to do but he thought that maybe dealing with it upfront would be so much better, as he huddled by the couch the rooms only illumination from the muted tv. Bucky heard the line ringing for a few minutes and growing anxiety grew as it kept ringing, as he was about to end the call the line picked and a disgruntled voice answered,
“Do you have any idea what time it is?”
Bucky stopped short the voice on the other line was not his therapist, pulling the phone away looking to see if he had accidentally dialed the wrong number, bucky pulled the phone back an apology at the tip of his tongue before he heard another gruff voice but this time with the hint of a British accent underneath,
“Eric, What’s going on? Who is that?”
Bucky heard a grumble from the man who answered before there was a shift of sheets and finally Xavier was on the line, there was an extra shift and an audible click before everything quieted again.
“James is everything alright?”
“Doctor I apologize for calling you so early in the morning but I-,” Bucky stopped short. He didn't know how to say what was wrong, he felt like his fear was inconsequential that did not deem a call at three in the morning. “I apologize for calling so early in the morning but I don’t know what’s wrong and I need your help.”
He heard Xavier humm, “James, we have talked about this, you do not have to apologize for seeking help. This is an improvement for you since never before did you seek help so I feel like this is a step forward, now tell me what can I do for you?”
“Doc, I know that our session is set for Saturday but something changed this week and I feel like if I don’t address it now it might become an issue for when it finally comes up.” Bucky didn’t know if he was making any sense; he couldn’t even say that he understood his words very clearly, so he was hoping that Xavier was able to understand him enough.
“Does this have anything to do with the video you had talked about from our last session, the one you were caught watching by Natasha?” Bucky made a small noise of confirmation, Xavier hummed as he seemed to write down what was being told to him, Bucky could hear the scratch of paper through the phone.
“Did something happen, James, I know from our last session you mentioned how you were looking forward to your outing with the others, so what is it about it now that's making you so anxious?” Bucky couldn't help the noise of shock that he let out, Xavier had a way of always knowing what Bucky was feeling and thinking and almost as if he was reading his mind, if it wasn’t for the fact that he survived the fall and Steve become ten times taller then he would say that Xavier was a mutant person with powers, well he still believes that no matter how much Xavier denies it.
“There is just so much that may go wrong that makes me nervous,” Bucky paused running a hand through his long hair, “ I just don’t want to disappoint, Nat had told me that this girl, Bibi, was a History major and according to Peter she did a paper the impact of Steve and I’s missions and how the war would have gone differently if we hadn’t been involved and that all that dedication she put into it-”
Bucky paused taking a small breath before continuing, “I just don’t want her to meet me and decide that I am a disappointment, that the person she spent such a long time researching, the person who I used to be, would make her disappointed because I am not him anymore.”
“James, you are and you will always be James Buchanan Barnes no matter the alias that was set for you or not, what HYDRA stole from you, your freedom, does not define who you were before or after the Winter Soldier, don’t let them take your future just because you are worried that people will still see you like the Winter Soldier, you have to understand that not everything revolves around that persona, okay? You are capable of going beyond if you just allow yourself to do it.”
Bucky was silent letting Xavier's words sink in, he was feeling much better now that he was hearing a word of reason at this time, Steve had been sent out on a quick mission overnight and he wouldn’t be back until later in the afternoon, he heard Xavier clear his throat before snapping him out of his mind.
“Now I am very curious about this girl you were mentioning, it seems that this person is the reason why you are feeling like this, and I can assume since you did show me the video that she is the one who fell at the end was it not?”
“Yeah, that’s her.”
“Well James, it’s currently too early in the morning you need your rest and it seems that this is something we will have to talk about when we are in the right state of mind, so let’s leave this conversation for our session on Saturday?”
“That sounds like a good idea Doc.”
“Great then it’s set,” Bucky heard a snap that could only be Xavier's notebook, “ And James I would like to apologize in regards to my husband Eric’s behavior earlier he just got back from a job and the jet lag wasn’t the best for him.”
“It’s alright Doc don’t worry I understand I mean I would have reacted the same way if someone would have called me at that time as well.”
“Well then goodnight James, or should I say morning instead”
“Night Doc, thanks again,” Bucky said before he hanged up, on the tv, there was a show going, one of Steve’s favorite that Sam and he would usually watch together constantly when off-mission, a sitcom of sorts of a man and women living in the suburbs as they try to hide their identity from their neighbors, Bucky shut it off enveloping the room in darkness.
Bucky knew that whatever happened on Friday, he would do whatever it took to prove that he was and could be James Buchanan Barnes again.
*
“When you told me you were going to buy me some Ice-Cream, I didn’t realize it came with the price of you dragging me to go shopping with you.” You said as you watched MJ browse around the bottoms section, it was hot outside the hottest it has been in New York since the first time you had arrived here, but not as hot as how Texas got in the summer that’s for sure.
After what had happened with Trevor, Ned and Peter had taken upon themselves to become your own personal escorts walking you to class and anywhere they could, at first you thought it was sweet being very grateful for friends who would gladly give you support but now all you could think about was a way to get rid of them for even just a second so you could breathe.
Finally the time cam when Peter was summoned by Mr. Stark for an experiment and Betty had taken one for the team and forced Ned to take her on a date keeping him away from you as long as she could, so here you were with MJ following her around as she looked for an outfit for the school banquet coming up. Searching through the plus size racks a shimmering material caught your eye and you couldn't help the trill that went through your body thinking that you had found something that you like , taking it off the rack you pulled it up to look at the size letting out a huff you put the shirt back into the rack your mood soured overtly being fooled that something so nice cold be offered to someone your size, starting to walk away you turned back tacking the shirt off and depositing it on another much similar sizes at its own not wanting someone to feel the disappointment just like you.
MJ had her arms covered in clothes and you couldn’t help the small ball of jealousy that went through you before squashing it down, giving up on finding anything for yourself in this store. “Hey MJ,” you called to her as she headed towards the dressing rooms, she turned towards you the clothes seeming to weigh her down, so you ignored that looking only at her face, “I’m gonna head over to the thrift shop two doors down, head over there when you’re done choosing something.”
MJ gave a nod of acknowledgement before turning back to the dressing rooms, stepping out of the air conditioned store you put on your sunglasses blocking out the sun as much as you could before beginning your trek down the sidewalk, sidestepping busy pedestrian you couldn't help thinking about the upcoming event would some very special guest. The Avengers were not a group that you would have thought to meet, yet here you were just mere hours before you finally had the chance to interact with the most powerful and out-of-ordinary individuals out there.
Dodging a skateboarder as he zoomed past you finally arrived at your destination ushering into the air-conditioned building, you could practically hear your mother telling you that what you were doing rushing in and out of the heat was not good for your health. The other reason for accepting MJ’s offer to go shopping, besides the free ice cream, was because you were still looking for an outfit to wear you knew you would be working but at the same time interacting with them was a big part of it so you wanted to look your best, and maybe it also had to do with a certain sargeant who had set everything in motion, even though of course he saw you fall on your face.
You blushed at the memory going towards the plus size isle seeing a variety of clothing awaiting you and you couldn't help the calm feeling that went over you when you realised there was no reason for you to feel in any way of disappointment for what you found. As you continue browsing from the corner of your eye you saw two extremely fit and thin women come onto your section beginning to browse where you had left off. The clenching of your stomach was unintentional almost as if you were sucking it in trying to make it less noticeable you shifted around adjust your shirt away from your body trying to stretch it out as much as you could wishing it wasn't sticking so close to your body, you heard one of the girls laugh at something the other had said and your thoughts began to go crazy.
“They’re laughing at you, they can see you for what you are a fat and l-”
“Excuse me, Miss?” you snapped out of your thoughts a tremor going through you as you turned towards one of the girls who was close to you, she had a bright smile on her face as she looked at you.
“Oh my!” she exclaimed, “It is you, it’s so nice to meet you I’m a huge fan of your videos, Are you out here looking for something? Do you happen to have your skates with you?” Shaking your head you realise what she was saying, your videos those videos of you skating around New York and campus, you looked down at your beat up sneakers dreading the fact tht you didn't have your skates feeling naked without them you looked at the girl shaking your head at her, “Sorry left them at home.”
You hoped she would go away feeling uncomfortable as she stood next to you, your anxiety rising as you realised that she was tiny and well compared to her you were just too much. Her friend said something too low for you to hear but the girl laughed looking at you from the corner of her eye and your throat began to feel as if it was closing up feeling squeamish you began to shift back trying to get away without being rude, just as you were about to step away you heard another voice and you froze completely.
You knew that voice it had been mocking at you for the past weeks, his words at a constant repeat as you avoided your reflection in the mirror. Trevor rounded the corner coming to stand behind the two girls before he noticed you standing there, he looked shocked before he shook himself out of it turning to the girl had been speaking to you, “Meg, baby lets go I still have to pick up my order on the way home and I don’t want to be late.”
He looked back at you dragging his gaze down your body, staring straight at your exposed legs and you couldn't help but shift at how uncomfortable that look in his eyes felt. You grabbed your bag placing it in front of you trying to. hide yourself from his look hoping that anything could come and save you in that moment, looking over their shoulders you found MJ stalking towards you murder in her eyes and it was all focused on Trevor, he turned trying to see what had caught your eyes when he saw MJ he paled before he practically draged his girlfriend and her friend away trying to get out before MJ could get to him.
You couldn’t help the breath you let out sinking on the floor letting your heated skin cool with the cold floor, trying to calm yourself as you sucked in deep and controlled breaths looking up at MJ who kept her distance knowing that you would ask for her help if you needed it. Finally after what felt like a lifetime you rose up MJ looked like she wanted to pull you in but she stopped herself knowing that you hated being touched after you had an episode, “Come on she said let’s go and buy that ice cream.”
MJ walked towards the exit calm as she could be you shuffled behind her trying to hide yourself away after what had happened, you gave yourself a sardonic smile, who knew that the day you shoo away your bodyguards would be the day you met your nightmare. As you both walked through the streets you couldn’t help your thoughts from going wild, how could this have happened on such a day, you thought about calling your therapist but thought against it last time you had talked to Xavier he mentioned Eric coming into town so you didn’t want to bother them at the moment.
When you finally arrived MJ opened the door letting you go in first, she was typing so fast her focus solely on her phone that she almost ran into a customer as we maneuvered around trying to find an empty seat, you pulled her aside dragging her along as you shimmied her into a booth you turned to your side and squeezed yourself in the table moving trying to accommodate to your size, the blush that rose to your face showed your embarrassment but looking around you noticed nobody had payed attention to you, so you calmed down at that.
MJ finally put her phone down with a satisfied look in her eyes and you couldn’t help but feel bad for the poor bastard who her anger was directed to, the first person you thought of was Trevor and you couldn’t help the small giggle you let out. MJ realized the cause of your giggles and gave you a huge grin before her phone began to blow up as she ignored it.
“So I bought you something,” she said as she pulled up a bag from the floor holding it out, you grabbed it gingerly as you opened it up and saw the shirt you had picked up earlier at the store, you closed the bag afraid of taking it out, “I saw you look at it earlier and I asked one of the workers to see if they had one in your size and they did it was their very last one actually and I just knew I had to get it for you.”
You looked at MJ not believing her words as you opened the bag again taking out the shirt and looking at its size, you couldn’t help the tears that came to your eyes at the sheer luck you had in having friends like MJ and the others who went above and beyond for you.
“MJ this is amazing thank you so much for this. I love it.” You gave her a watery smile beyond happy at it, she beamed up at you happy that she was able to give you something to smile for.
“Yeah I think it will look lovely on you, and hey,” She said as she got up, “Maybe you’ll even be able to catch the attention of a certain Sergeant at the party.”
*
Bucky stood outside the rink with the others as they waited for Peter to show up, earlier that day Steve and Bucky had gone out to eat a diner close to their apartment when Natasha had shown up raging about how excited she was about tonight’s event. She talked about how Tony and her had made a bet to see who of all the avengers was most likely to fall first and who would be the first one to give up.
Now here they were late in the evening waiting for Peter to join them so they would be able to get inside. Peter’s other friends were by the door, but Bucky couldn’t see Bibi anywhere and he didn’t know if to be nervous or not. After a few minutes Peter finally arrived swinging down from a building close by he landed close to his friends bumping fist with one and kissing the other on the cheek before finally turning towards them.
“Right, okay are you guys ready Bibi is in there waiting in on us so if you wanna follow me,” He turned back to the door making a series of knocks that sounded like a passcode when in fact they were just random noises being produced, the door opened and a head popped out a look of annoyance clear on her face and Bucky couldn’t help but think of it as adorable, Natasha had sneaked close to him as Peter and Bibi exchanged banter at door elbowed him in the stomach making a big gesture towards bibi a huge grin plastered onto her face, Bucky gave her an annoyed look as he moved away from her to Steve’s side.
Peter and Bibi must have finished their little fight since she finally pushed the door open and spread out her arms in a grand gesture, “Welcome Avengers to our humble, ummm” She paused glaring back at a grinning Peter, the girl next to him elbowed him but the smile never left his face, “Right, Welcome to our humble rink where I will take you for the ride of your lives.”
Peter smirked at the end of the speech before sauntering in as the other Avengers snickered at your words as they followed you inside the building, Bucky took a deep breath trying to calm his rising heartbeat before following. The building was lit up when they walked in most of the group had spread out from either talking to Peter’s friends or getting some skates from Bibi who was manning the counter, Natasha headed his way again before grabbing his arm to drag him to the counter, “Take charge, Sarge” she said before depositing him in front of her.
Outside he hadn’t gotten an actual look at her outfit but he couldn’t help but to admire her now, a nice sparkly top complemented her he could see now that she was wearing some sparkly skates a mid length skirt flared out around her legs and Bucky fought hard to look away. When he finally looked at her she was giving him a shy smile that made Bucky’s heart give a stutter.
“What’ll be Sarge?”
Prt.4
#plus size ofc#pluss size#original work#plus size oc#bucky x plus size reader#bucky x y/n#bucky fic#bucky x you
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dance with somebody (ch. 1)
It’s the first kegster of his senior year, the first kegster after his first fucking win as captain of the Samwell Men's Hockey Team, and Dex just-
Dex needs a moment.
The porch is empty. Dex settles down, sets aside his half-empty can of beer. Looks down the road of frat houses, all in various stages of Saturday night festivities. The water polo frat, Dex thinks, is gonna have one hell of a post party cleanup.
Inside the Haus, someone’s put on I wanna dance with somebody. Dex almost smiles.
It’s maybe a little weird, how he doesn’t even have to be in there to know exactly what’s going on.
Bully and Hops are dancing, and Louis is definitely not. He’ll be off in a corner, talking to whoever will listen (Whiskey, most likely, since he’s always off to the side if he can help it) about how he can’t understand why he hasn’t been appointed officially in charge of all kegster playlists, yet. Tango, meanwhile, is probably still trying to get Farmer and her friends to explain all the rules of volleyball, in detail, unless Ford has staged her usual intervention. Chowder will be wherever Farmer is, the Scones are still riding that sweet, sweet high of their first NCAA victory… And then there’s Nursey.
Somehow, there’s always Nursey.
He’s there in the early mornings, when Dex thinks he’ll hit the gym before anyone else, his smiles casual and his chirps gentle. He shows up every so often when Dex gets out of class, with Dex’s favourite flat white from Annie’s and a wry smile, and drags Dex along to Founders where they’ll sit together in near silence and mostly not study. Or, actually, Nursey kind of studies for real. Dex… Well.
Lately, Dex can't say he's been all that productive, when Nursey is around.
It really shouldn’t feel as novel as it does. The elements of a crush were always there. If Dex hadn’t meticulously labeled those flaring emotions as something entirely different, those first couple of years, the two of them might've gotten here a whole lot sooner.
Because they’re finally kind of getting somewhere, aren’t they? Unless Dex has been reading Nursey completely wrong, lately. Except he can’t have, not really – the way Nursey’s been staying so close to him, out of choice, those soft smiles and clearly intentional touches. Earlier that same evening, Nursey had let his hand rest on the small of Dex’s back, gently and deliberately and not for the first time. Dex isn’t actually sure what might've happened between them if he’d turned towards Nursey, just then, and met his eyes directly.
Maybe, Dex thinks, he’s finally ready to find that out. To take that leap. See where they land.
The door opens, then closes.
“Hey. Sorry if I’m bothering you.”
Dex turns around, offers a brief smile. He nods towards the empty space next to him.
Whiskey walks over, and sits down.
Dex picks up his can of beer and holds it up towards Whiskey.
“Really good game, tonight.”
Whiskey clinks his bottle against it, almost dutifully.
Dex takes a long drink. Whiskey drinks, too. He’s quiet, which is completely on brand, yet for some reason he seems a little more restless than usually.
“You baked pie,” Whiskey says, after a moment.
Which is not what Dex expected, at all. But at least it’s something.
“Did you get a slice?”
“I did, yeah. It was pretty good.”
“Tried my best.” Dex shrugs. “Obviously, I’ll never live up to Bitty’s legendary baking legacy.”
“You don’t have to,” Whiskey says, and then he pauses, as though he’s choosing his words very carefully. “You don’t have to be the same captain Bitty was.”
“Oh, I could never be.” Dex sips his beer. “We’re similar, though, in a lot of ways. I think that’s part of why I’ve come to look up to him so much.”
“That’s… Yeah.” Whiskey looks away. “I mean, I voted for him, too.”
“You got his dibs,” Dex says, and it’s not quite a question. “That’s pretty cool.”
For some reason, that makes Whiskey grimace.
“Honestly? I’m still not sure why.”
Dex looks at Whiskey, then, really looks at him. Finds that the tension he’s so used to seeing in Whiskey’s shoulders isn’t quite there, anymore. Acknowledges that the usually guarded look in Whiskey’s eyes has given way to something tentatively curious, yet still hesitant. Above all, though, Whiskey looks like he’s so, so tired, like there’s something constantly exhausting him. Like every breath of fresh air just leaves him more drained than the one before.
And if that isn’t a feeling Dex finds all too familiar.
“You know, I actually voted for you,” Dex says. “As captain.”
Whiskey startles – no, flinches. Dex has never seen him look so bewildered.
“You bring a lot to this team,” Dex continues firmly. “You make our best plays, and you always look out for everyone on the ice. You don’t make a big fuss about it, but I always know you’re going to have my back, no matter what. You lead by example.”
“Bitty led by example,” Whiskey says – argues, almost. “By being loud, and proud, and one hundred percent unapologetically himself at all times. And I’m not… That's just not me.”
“You don’t have to be like Bitty, any more than I do,” Dex says, gently. “You know that, right? There’s literally one million other versions of being proud of who you are. It’s okay to find one that you're comfortable with. It’s okay if that takes time.”
Whiskey leans back, abruptly – he looks almost as if he’d very much like to take off, running, rather than acknowledge any part of what Dex has just said. Yet then he stills. Something shifts in his expression.
“You and Nurse,” he says, simply.
Dex draws in a breath. Whiskey is watching him intently.
"I mean, yeah," Dex says. Because somehow, he owes Whiskey this. "Me and Nursey."
Whiskey nods, slowly.
"Huh."
"It's not… We haven't really talked about it, yet."
That makes Whiskey look surprised.
"Some things take time," Dex adds, completely aware of how he’s repeating himself. "And, like, there's no rush. There's not going to be a finish line. No prize for getting there first."
“But you know what you want,” Whiskey says. His voice is a little hoarse, compared to before. “You know who you are.”
“You’ll get there,” Dex says, quietly but firmly. “Whatever that means for you. It’ll be difficult, and it might take time. But you’ll make it through.”
Whiskey merely shrugs.
They’re both quiet for a long moment, after that.
Then Whiskey gets up.
“Think I’m gonna call it a night.”
“Okay.” Dex smiles towards him. “See you at team breakfast, tomorrow?”
“Sure.” Yet Whiskey lingers for a moment, almost if there’s something more he means to say. “Thank you. I mean, for the company.”
“Anytime,” Dex says, and finds that he really means it. “You can always talk to me, Whiskey. About anything.”
Whiskey nods once more, his expression unchanging, before quickly heading inside.
Dex watches him go.
He’d like to keep a much closer eye on Whiskey, from this moment on. He can’t, though. Whiskey would realize immediately. And that’s no good – it’s got to be on Whiskey’s terms, or not at all.
It's something Dex knows from experience.
The door opens again.
It's Nursey.
"Whiskey just came in, looking like, super unchill." Nursey closes the door behind him. "Did something happen?"
"He's a bit stressed, but he's okay."
"Oh. Good, then." Nursey walks over, yet he doesn't sit down. Instead he leans against the banister in a way that’s probably supposed to look casual, and glances towards Dex from the side. “Are you okay, though?”
“Of course I am.”
Nursey frowns. “You seemed a bit out of it, earlier.”
“Earlier tonight?”
“Before the game.”
“Ah,” Dex says. Because of course Nursey would pick up on what Dex had been trying so hard to conceal. On the very reason why he’s come out to the porch, all by himself, while a seriously ‘swasome kegster is still going on inside. “I guess I’m just not really used to it all, yet? The whole captain bit.”
Nursey hums. “You’re not in this alone, you know. You don’t have to go through it alone.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“And, like, if you wanted to have an alternate? You could do that. I’m sure the team would be cool with it.”
“Actually,” Dex says, “I’ve sort of been thinking about that for a while now.”
Nursey grins.
“Oh, man. Chowder’s gonna freak out so hard, when you ask him.”
“What makes you so certain I’m not going to ask you?”
Nursey turns to stare at him, abruptly.
“That’s a joke, right? God, please tell me you’re joking.”
“It’s mostly a joke,” Dex admits with a slight grin, and there’s no way he’s gonna pass on the obvious chirp. “Chill, man.”
“You do not get to use that word in this context.” Nursey still looks decidedly unsettled. “Fuck, me? The A? Do you have any idea how many papers an English major needs to churn out his senior year?”
“Yeah, you poor baby.”
“Ha, ha. God, I need another drink.”
“There’s someone else I have in mind, actually,” Dex says. That look in Whiskey’s eyes, uncertain yet somehow still so determined, is fresh in his memory. “Someone who could grow into the role, maybe? Someone who needs an opportunity to learn more about themselves, and all they can be.”
Nursey frowns. “It’s not Tango, is it? Because if our pre-game ritual turns into twenty fucking questions, I’m one hundred percent blaming you.”
Dex smiles.
“No. It’s not Tango.”
“Well. Good.”
They’re quiet for a moment. Then Nursey looks over at Dex – really looks at him, meeting his eyes directly – before slowly (and intentionally, one might say) stepping away from the banister and sitting down in the same spot Whiskey occupied, earlier. Except Nursey might be sitting a bit closer to Dex. Maybe a lot closer.
It’s a little bit ridiculous, but does it still make Dex’s heart flutter? Fuck yeah.
“So,” Nursey says, his voice strangely calm – chill, even though the way he can’t quite make himself face Dex as he speaks gives him away completely. “Are we ever gonna, y’know. Have this conversation?”
Dex takes a deep breath. Then he reaches out, takes Nursey’s right hand in his. Laces their fingers together, softly yet very deliberately.
“Yeah. I think it’s time we do.”
(ch. 2)
#nurseydex#check please#omgcp#omgcheckplease#checkpleaselastslice#spoilers#for the ending of year four#william poindexter#derek nurse#connor whisk#it's nurseydex but it's also about whiskey#not an au this time#I really needed to write this#fanfiction#evie writes#dance with somebody
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Pick Me Up - Bill Hader x Reader
Theme: Fluff, with some Angst
Warnings: Language, Use of Alcohol
Summary: Bill wakes up in the early hours of the morning with a request to pick up a rather drunken you.
Word Count: 2.4k
A/N: I started this ages ago, I still really dig some of my word usage in this fic. Once again, Maggie Carey and Bill will not be married in this fic. Thanks for dealing with my sporadic fic posting.
It was just supposed to be one drink. Even if you could remember that rule, you were pissed off and needed to forget everything for a while. Just enough for the alcohol to slip into your system and make you feel somewhat fixed for the night.
Except one drink became two, and three, and soon five. I think it’s important to note that you were an incredible lightweight when handling alcohol.
Usually, you’d have a friend by your side, but this bar wasn’t that far of a walk from your apartment. It would almost be quite the resource, but you rarely tended to turn to drink.
Except that is, until you found out that your boyfriend of five years cheated on you. You were crushed, obviously, but you had almost seen this coming. Or maybe you didn’t; it just didn’t seem impossible for him to pull this act on you.
After booking a job as a cast member on the thirty-eighth season of Saturday Night Live, you often found yourself becoming busier than you had ever been. You would frequently come home late and not have enough time for your partner as you had imagined.
Except, Justin had been so understanding. Why wouldn’t he? He was a surgeon at Lenox Hill and would always take night shifts to keep things afloat.
He was charming, kind, and always knew how to surprise you. You could still picture your future wedding and marriage so vividly; he was the man of your dreams, but was he really?
He probably wasn’t when you had found him fucking a random girl senseless in your shared bedroom. That’s beside the point, everything felt floaty and fuzzy, and the bartender looked concerned.
“Want me to call someone for you?” she suggested as she leaned against the counter. One hand flipping a pen, the other sneaking up to the phone beside her on the wall.
Justi-no, just no, you stopped yourself quickly.
You swallowed carefully, looking at her with an emotion swirling within you that you couldn’t quite place. She cocked an eyebrow, just waiting for your answer to flop into her fingertips.
“His name is, um, he’s a friend. Just a friend, yeah, sure. Okay, hmph. His number is-,”
—
He had just gotten to bed finally, or so he had thought, almost perfecting not focusing on the way his breathing was lulling him to sleep. It was way too late for this anyway; he would definitely make a pick me up at the local joe’s the next morning.
That was until he heard a faint buzzing come from his bedside table; he rubbed his eyes with annoyance. At this hour, who the hell was disrupting him was his first thought, that was until he saw an odd number.
Seth had always told him not to accept calls like these, but something didn’t sit right. Hopefully, he was wrong; it could very well be someone ‘butt-dialing’ him.
“Hello?” damn, he sounded gruff, was this new?
“Hi, I’m here with Y/N; she’s currently here with me at April’s Brewery on 16 W 51st street. It’s getting rather late, and we are closing up soon. She said I should call you, Bill, right?” she confirmed, the information twisting around in his drowsy mind.
“Oh, um, yeah, I am. Is Y/N, okay? I mean, yeah, I’m coming as soon as possible.” he stammered, hanging up before she could even speak, rushing out the door, and calling forth a taxicab.
Why did Y/N pick him of all people? He was him, and you were well you! He didn’t even think you were even that close, well, maybe you were. Things between you and him were pretty nice; you could make him laugh like no other. You made his days better, even if it was with something small and not that big in retrospect.
Except then again, wasn’t this Jus-whoever’s job? Your boyfriend’s job to pick you up? Why were you even drinking in the first place? He had many questions.
The cab pulled to a halt, and he paid the necessary change. Giving the driver a tight-lipped smile, he hopped out and made his way into the destination he was given.
The bar looked reasonably deserted at this point. Still, there you sat looking absolutely crushed, or what appeared that way, nursing what seemed to be a glass of something that didn’t quite look like water. Lost in some conversation with the women who he assumed had called him, her eyes catching him in what looked to be a sense of relief.
She had whispered something to you, but instantly you poked your head up. Immediately locking eyes with him, you pulled yourself up, an excited grin dashing upon your lips.
“You came, oh Billy!” you squealed, rushing over to him before slipping, his arms rushing over to hold you up.
Billy? he thought with much amusement and, of course, concern.
“Woah Y/N, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this...” he drew on his words, your head tilting in confusion.
“I’ve never seen you this drunk,” he admitted finally only to have you burst into a fit of giggles.
“Oh, Billy, you are so fucking funny. Do you know that? You make me laugh so much, like a crazy amount. God, you are so cute!” His eyes widened. Were you cheating? No, no, he couldn’t do this.
“Y/N, sweetie.” he began while sliding the bartender a couple twenties, leading you out the door. Steering the two of you to a nearby pocket of space between the bar and a convenience store.
“You have a boyfriend, I sincerely hope you didn’t forget,” he stated only to see you deflate at the thought.
“No, not anymore, or at least I don’t think so.” you cried the tears coming down faster than he could’ve imagined.
Wait, really? He sure as hell didn’t see this coming; you two had been together for what had appeared to be a long time. Judging by your conversations at work, things seemed to be fine between you two, rusty, but okay.
You shifted your feet, looking anywhere but him, he gulped, taking hold of your quivering hands that tugged at each finger anxiously. Eyes widening, you looked up at him, something settling in your eyes that he couldn’t quite process.
He smiled softly, lifting up his thumb to wipe away your tear stained cheeks. That’s what friends did, right? You sniffed, pulling back a little farther.
“I don’t think I can go back home tonight; Justin cheated on me with someone from his work.” you huffed, feeling everything come back at full swing.
“Oh Y/N/N, come here,” he whispered, beckoning you into his arms. It absolutely crushed him to see you so....broken.
Slowly but surely, you fell into his arms and sobbed quietly. His hands rubbing soothing circles onto your back, whispering sweet nothings to you. Anything to help, god, he hoped he was helping.
“God, I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” you choked out after a while, clearing your throat and pulling away from him.
His eyes darting between yours and the way your hands twitched anxiously. The sky now a deep violet speckled in navy clouds, stars peeking out from the city fog to illuminate your surroundings. The neon lights of the convenience store sitting behind you showing just how late it was. The way it hit you all at once, lighting up the way your cheeks were stained from your tears.
He had never really had a chance to tell you how beautiful you were. It wasn’t even like he was trying to start trouble; you just were.
Whether it was in weekly meetings, bright and early, the buzz of the day settling into the cast. He’d notice it, the way your lips curved into that gorgeous grin you always seemed to carry on you. The way you did your hair, how it complimented your features so effortlessly. How your eyes would filter in appreciation of everyone in the room, how you’d stop shortly at his. The crinkle in your eyes, a smile beaming at him, offering a little wink.
Mornings with you were never dull, or at least that’s what he thought. He always knew you were out of his reach, so his heart stayed far from him, like a buoy sinking up and back down into the waves of his consciousness, always there but never willing to commit.
Even now, in your current state, he was in awe of your beauty. Yet, it wasn’t polite to stare, and he had to make sure that you’d get some sleep and a cup of water and painkillers by your side the next morning.
“I have a spare bedroom. Honestly, it’s way too late, and I don’t mind it.” Bill gestured, trying to focus on any signs of protest that could erupt from you.
“O-okay,” you whispered in agreement, rubbing your eyes as fatigue started to settle in. A motion that Bill definitely didn’t miss while he looked you up and down.
He gave a toothy grin before motioning you to follow him, standing before the bustling streets of Manhattan. Even at night, cars buzzed and honked past at moderate speeds. His hand outstretched to catch the attention of taxis, one hand reaching out to take ahold of yours.
It felt nice when he touched your little hands slip into his somewhat larger grasp; it felt normal almost. God, he was such a freak, you just got cheated on. You were just friends, nothing else. Get it together, Hader.
A car pulled close to the curb, and within seconds the two of you settled in. He gave the address and buckled in. You looked rather comfy with your face smudged against the cab window.
He smiled softly, as slowly but surely, you fell asleep. The city blurring around the two of you, bright lights and street signs becoming one. He always admired New York City at night, the way it never really stopped moving. Despite the early hours of the morning, people still bustled amongst the streets.
It was still fairly early into his departure of Saturday Night Live; his face was familiar, but not quite famous like his other costars. He could walk the streets with ease and get stopped only a few times. He didn’t know how long it’d last, but he enjoyed the sense of invisibility he carried.
You, however, were admired by many. Bill could remember your first few days on set, those who were not married or dating setting bets on you. Hader often scoffed at the idea of winning your heart amongst his coworkers, you were a constellation, and he was light-years away. That is until you mentioned that you were dating some doctor, and the competition died down.
Yet every now and then, his stomach would grow a flutter, and his cheeks would blush when you’d lay your head on his shoulder, a familiar friendly feat you’d perform after long hours in 30 Rock. He hated that he crushed someone who was taken; he never once stopped hating himself for that.
The car halted to a stop, Hader’s apartment complex sitting right outside. He eyed the cash monitor for the second time that night. In an instant, he paid the acceptable amount, tipping the driver for good measure. Almost standing up before remembering how you had fallen asleep against the window.
He huffed anxiously, wondering how on earth he would do this. The driver was obviously tired and not pleased with the hold-up between his departure towards his own comfy mattress. Grabbing his stuff, he slipped out of his side before going around to opening your door.
Your figure slumping towards the pavement before he scooped you up in his arms. Internally cursing himself if you were to wake up, and want him to rid you of himself at once. Instead, you peeked one eye open, his body heaving anxiously. Y/E/C peeking up at him in dazed confusion, before murmuring something and nuzzling deeper into his hold.
It was a skill that he hadn’t perfected, getting someone into his house, without making much noise. Not to mention the fact that you were asleep in his arms, chest rising in perfect rhythm. He nudged the cab door closed and made his way up to his apartment door. Victoriously managing to slide his hand out from underneath you and into opening his front door.
Slipping into the building, he quietly kicked the door closed behind him. You only stirred, which promptly stopped him dead in his tracks, before continuing on towards the spare bedroom he owned.
Gently he laid you down onto the bed, your body curling up at the contact of the comfortable mattress. He smiled before digging around to place a blanket over you, fitting it, so you were well adjusted to sleeping.
His heart heavy and mind slowly beginning to beg for sleep, his feet padding towards the door of the guest bedroom. That is until he heard a rustle and a soft murmur escape your lips.
“What was that, Y/N? Did you say something?” he wondered aloud, his eyes trying to adjust towards the room now blanketed in darkness.
“It’s-just, I’m not used to sleeping alone anymore, you know? I’m so tired, though, could you stay until I fall asleep?” you admitted softly, playing with the sheet covers on top of you.
Bill’s eyes widened into the size of saucers; he didn’t see this coming. He shook his head before quickly nodding in your direction; you yawned without much thought and laid back, dozing off.
He stood there absolutely puzzled on what to do, except stare, which was definitely not inappropriate whatsoever. His eyes darting anywhere in the room, but you, he focused on an old rocking chair that his mother gave him when he first moved in.
It looked comfy enough. It would do, if that’s what you wanted, that’s what a friend would do. God, he hoped that’s what a friend would do in this case scenario.
The chair creaked noisily, and he cringed every single time until you stirred once again, thrusting your hand upward into the air. He sat puzzledly until your finger flicked up and down to signal him to join you.
He gulped, “please, Bill, just for tonight?” you said with a slight whimper.
Timidly he shoved the covers outward to create space, sliding into the bed, stiff as aboard. You couldn’t help but murmur something sleepily before rolling over beside him.
He froze, but he couldn’t stay awake forever. Your head now resting upon his chest, curling into his side, you smelled nice. He let you stay put before trying to get situated himself, sleep soon beginning to overtake him.
Friends totally did this, yep, of course, they did, Bill.
#@broadwayandnetflix#bill hader x reader#bill hader#fluff#bill hader x you#angst#alcohol#2020#bill hader imagine#snl
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secure
summary: Charlie puth invites David to a get together where David meets y/n and they hit it off.
a/n: a teensy weensy bit angst but im 100% making a part 2 of this with a happy ending so no worries!!!!!!!!!
warnings: language
mood board:
-- 3RD PERSON DD & CP
“hey what are your plans for Saturday?” Charlie asked David as they finished up a bit for the vlog.
“umm, nothing really. im kind of in a fog right now. why?” David took a bite of his apple.
“well im throwing a small little kickback at my house. a few of my music friends are coming and it might get you some good connections, if you'd like.”
“dude, that's fucking sick! name drop! is Selena Gomez gonna be there?” David asked excitedly.
“no, no, Selena doesn't really do too many social events anymore. she's going through a lot...” David raised his eyebrow as Charlie looked to the ground. “but you know who will be there? y/f/n!”
“shut the fuck up dude are you serious?” Davids heart dropped at the thought of y/n at the party. he's been crushing on her for a bit, and has been dying to meet her.
“yeah, I mean she texted me she would, why are you all giddy?” Charlie punched David on the shoulder playfully, but secretly didn't want David to say he had a crush on her because truth was, so did Charlie. what's not to like? she's humble, kind, funny, easy-going, and down for anything.
“oh, uhh... no reason, just she's a pretty popular singer right now. good clickbait.” David said with nervousness in his voice. he didn't want to admit that he had a crush when he hasn't even met her.
“alright, well ill see you at the kickback then. bring some friends!” Charlie tried not to sound worried or suspicious. he’d have to keep an eye on the two.
-- YOUR POV
I really hate going to parties. but Charlie promised it would be chill and just a way to destress. ive been in a fog with my album im writing. I have great songs but I need two more and im stuck on what to write about. maybe the party will be a good thing.
-texts w - Charles 🤪 -
< should I wear something casual or ?? are we dressing nicer lol
you look great in everything! >
maybe party casual if that's a thing? >
< thought it was a kickback you ass! lol but thanks for the heads up. see you there, Charles! 😉
-end texts-
he hated when i called him Charles but i love messing with him. after careful examining of the clothes i had, i decided to go as I was. it was an easy going outfit but I still looked put together. I had no one to impress anyways.
-- 1st PERSON DD
“dude, im so nervous.” i whispered to Ilya, who knew of my crush.
“its fine man, don't be a pussy.” i took a drink of my water and grabbed my camera to film with Benny Blanco a little he always had something funny or interesting to say.
“Charles!” I heard from the living room. i didn't think anything of it and kept filming with Benny and Jeff. a little while goes by and then Benny looks over my shoulder.
“hey, y/n/n! so good to see you!” i froze. y/n went and gave benny an inviting hug and then turned to me. her eyes were easy to melt into.
“hi, good to see you, im y/n” she went in for a hug. she smelled beautiful.
“oh, hi. im David. big fan.”
“and im Jeff, wow you look so great, can I get you a drink?”
i rolled my eyes at Jeff trying to make a move. of course he's into the same girl I am.
“oh, im ok, I actually don't really like to drink.” she's so kind and gentle as she speaks.
“so how is the album coming?” benny asks her.
“its... not.” she laughs lightly but I can tell she's stressed. is it too early to tell her I already know her inside and out? am I crazy for watching all her interviews, tiktoks, and instagram stories?
“im in a fog,” she looks to the ground. how are we already so compatible? “I want two more songs but im having trouble finding a conclusion to the story im telling. maybe there isn't one, I don't know.”
“what's the story you're trying to tell?” I ask feeling very brave and comfortable already.
“basically my current dating life.” she slightly blushes. “its so hard dating and every time I start to like a guy or I know of him and I already have a crush on him, it doesn't end well. and I have these little romances I write about but they all end in either piggy behavior or ghosting.” we laughed along with her. her smile was radiating.
“maybe I can help, do you wanna go to Charlie’s studio?” Benny asks her.
“you're an angel! yes! ill repay you in food.” she laughs. as they walk out, Im watching her. she moves so flawlessly. “hey, you can come too. might get something good for the vlog.” she smiles to me. my heart is beating out of my chest. she watches my videos or at least knows of me. “cool, thank you.” I say trying to remain calm. she also pulls Charlie in and he drapes his arm around her shoulder. they're just friends.
as we get seated in the room, Benny starts asking her questions. “so, we know what message you're giving but how are you delivering it for the album? what's the feeling? want to play us a song that captures the vibe?”
“well I only have the instrumentals for the songs but I can play one live?”
“great, lets do it.” Charlie smiled to her as he handed her a mic.
“don't post this anywhere, David” she warned.
she brought warmth to my cheeks. “nope, ill only use it as blackmail.”
her laugh was such a gift. I could tell jokes all day just to hear her laugh again.
she played a beautiful song that was slow and powerful and all about heartbreak. it hurt to hear her go through that. then benny asked for another song. this one was more pop. like id hear it on the radio, but still deep.
the rest of the night was them composing songs and some stupid jokes here and there. safe to say she's the most down to earth and funny person in the room. the fans will go crazy that im here with her. im going crazy that im here with her.
-- YOUR POV
I spent the whole night in the studio with some amazing people. I found myself taking it all in and being so thankful for my life. ive known of David and watched his vlogs pretty frequently too, but being with him was a whole different experience. he gave great advice and genuinely helped me through some of my block. he gave a listeners point of view and had fresh ears. it was nice. he even offered to walk me to my car.
“I figured you'd have like a limo waiting for you outside or something.” he joked as we walked toward the street.
“nope, that's just youtubers.” I joked back.
he laughed, “ouch.”
“thank you for your input tonight.” he chuckled. “no, I really mean it. I think I know exactly how I want to end the album.” I look into his eyes as my back is pushed against my car.
“where's your mind at?” he looks back to me.
“loving myself. I know it sounds cliche, but isn't the greatest romance of all, the love you have for yourself? tonight was the most fun ive had, and it was just hanging out with friends talking about endless things.”
he nods as he takes my words in. “you're really secure with yourself. I like that. its going to be a great album.”
he leans in and for a moment I think he's going to kiss me which I don't need right now. then I see his hands go low to the handle of my car door and he opens it for me.
“oh, I can't take a hint, huh?” I joke with him.
“no, not at all. I just know you're excited to go home and write your new hit.” he says almost seriously.
“thank you” I whisper. “and also, can I get your number? id love to do something fun for the vlogs.”
-- DAVIDS POV, NEXT DAY
“il, it couldn't have gone better! she asked for my number, bro!”
“that's fucking sick. imagine you dating one of americas sweetheart, music icons.” Ilya pokes at David.
“its not a fucking joke, I really think there was something there but id really like to get to know her better.”
“who are we talking about?” Charlie asks as he enters the room. David had texted him to meet up for a bit they were doing.
“uh, no one.” im quick to reply knowing they're` great friends and I don't want any drama.
“oh ok... so what'd you think of y/n?” he asks me.
“oh she's great, yeah, I was editing some last night and I think I'll keep some parts in.”
“yeah, she's so easy to be around. I think im gonna ask her out, she's kind of the girl of my dreams, and im like 99% sure she's in love with me too.” he says almost marking his territory.
I look to Ilya and he just half smiles. “oh, that's great man. yeah you should ask her out if you're in love with her. she's a great catch.” my chest falls as I say it aloud. I really thought she liked me.
part 2
#davids vlogs#david dobrik#david dobrik fanfiction#david dobrik imagine#david dobrik x reader#David dobrik fanfic#David dobrik imagines#vlog squad#vlog squad imagines#vlog squad fan fiction#Charlie puth#Charlie puth fanfic#Charlie puth imagine#Charlie puth fan fiction
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Never Ever
Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader
Warnings: 18+ smut, edging / angst / dom mentions
A/N: This one shot has been on my brain for ages and I couldn’t get it all down on paper quick enough, apologies for the length, I just couldn’t stop writing. I’m not even sure I like this but I’m posting it because it took forever! This is based on Taylor Swifts ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’ ENJOY. Please reblog and like🖤
(4.7k words)
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“We hadn’t seen each other in a month, when you said you needed space”
Two years. Two exclusive years on the arm of Hugh Ransom Drysdale. When you first met Ransom, naturally, you never thought that he would be someone who wanted to settle down, or that you would be the person he would want to settle down with. He was boisterous, self-centred and just obscenely rude but not with you, no matter what attitude he gave you, you gave it right back, showing that Ransom had finally met his perfect match. You were both such similar people and you truly believed that it was what bought you together, even though the universe tries to tell you that opposites attract. In life, you are conditioned to believe that there is a soulmate somewhere on the planet for you, and bizarrely you were starting to believe Ransom was just that, your soulmate.
You both had such loud personalities, insatiable sex drives and unmatched confidence; all reasons why you suited so well. However you both also had very demanding jobs, which meant it was often difficult to make time for one another. You didn’t live with Ransom therefore actually seeing each other in person was a challenge, but it never seemed too problematic because you were always on the phone or at least texting. At times, you were both guilty of being too busy for one another but you were deemed such a strong couple as well as independent individuals that it had never worried you. However, that didn’t stop your current excitement as you unlocked Ransom’s front door and let yourself into his place after a whole month apart. You hung your coat on the rack, removed your shoes and placed your bag on the table before looking through the open plan kitchen/living area, trying to locate Ransom. “Babe! Where are you? Sorry I’m late, work was hectic!”, you shouted awaiting a reply but there was only silence. You simply shrugged and made your way into the kitchen, helping yourself to a generous glass of wine, well deserved after your busy week. With your back to the room and your gaze preoccupied out the kitchen window at the autumn leaves, you felt Ransoms arms around your waist before you saw him. He gave you a tight squeeze, mumbling in your ear, “God, I missed you angel."
It wasn’t long before Ransom was carrying you over to the sofa, gently throwing you down onto it and admiring his view. Looking up at him, you could see dark circles under his eyes from working too much and frown lines from always carrying such an attitude but you could also see the softest smile as he held his gaze on you. You kept your eyes on each other, fidgeting slightly at the anticipation and breathing heavily at the sexual tension in the air, wondering who would make the first move. “I am going to devour you angel. Almost forgot what you tasted like, its been so long”, you bit your lip as the words rolled off his tongue, instantly turned on by them. You rolled your eyes as Ransom held still, watching him as he waited for you to make the first move, wanting to see you submit control and beg for him. Around Ransom you never held your nerve long, so giving in and pulling him on top of you on the sofa was the quickest way to get what you desired. His hands falling to either side of your head, you were now kissing with such desperation with tongues and teeth attacking one another anywhere they could; lips, neck, chest. Ransom sat you up so he could unzip your dress, pulling it off of you with no care, then pulled his own top over his head and discarded it on the floor with your dress before stealing your lips in another passionate kiss. You felt totally weak under his grip, simply letting him do whatever he pleased with you. He pushed you back and started trailing kisses down your body towards your core, removing your panties whilst you were distracted by his lips. Before you could even catch your breath, he was devouring you like he had promised. His mouth felt like it was over every inch of your core, fingers teasingly dipping in and out of your hole and it was barely minutes before you were cumming all over his fingers and face, moaning so loudly you were sure anyone within a 10 mile radius would hear you.
“Fuck Ransom! I swear you get better at that every time!”, you panted as he stared at you with a cocky grin whilst leaning back on the sofa, licking his fingers clean. “Well I think I deserve a reward, wouldn’t you say angel?”, you sat up and just smirked at him. “I’d hurry up and get on your knees if I were you”, by using his threatening tone, he knew you’d do anything for him, so you stood up on shaky legs, still reeling from your orgasm. You knelt before him, opening your mouth delicately and letting Ransom bring his cock to you, giving him another rush of domination. He constantly liked to be in charge of you and you had no qualms with it when he had that orgasmic look on his face whilst he fucked your mouth. He reached forward, placing his hand on the back of your head, pushing you all the way down on his cock, drawing an immediate gag from you. “That is honestly the sweetest god damn sound on this planet!”, you looked up as he spoke and fluttered your eyes seductively as his thrusts started to pull tears from your eyes at the intensity that he was forcing himself down your throat with.
Some time later and you were both laying naked on the sofa, blanket lazily thrown over your nestled bodies whilst some trash TV played in the background. You were tracing patterns on Ransom’s back, absentmindedly wondering how long it would be before Ransom whisked you upstairs to bed for a whole night of obscene i missed you sex. You were so distracted by your thoughts that you almost missed the words he whispered softly against your chest.
“I need space..”, you started shuffling away slightly, observing his request.
“Sorry baby, I thought you were comfy!”, a weak smile graced Ransoms face before he repeated himself, but slower and with more emphasis. “No, I need space..”, you raised an eyebrow confused, “..space, from us.”
You were absolutely dumbfounded by what Ransom was saying, certain you were misunderstanding, “What do you mean?”. He just looked at you and kept quiet, not even offering a further explanation as to why he had invited you here, had his wicked way with you before telling you he wanted space from your committed relationship. As if on impulse, you started to get dressed to leave, not wanting to spend another minute around him. “Y/N, you don’t have to leave”, that was when you saw red. “Like fuck I don’t!! We haven’t seen each other in like a month, I come here excited to see you, then you get your fucking dick wet before telling me you need some space! Space from what? Our relationship might as well be long distance at this point, now you need more space from me! Fuck you Ransom, you absolute chickenhearted piece of shit!”, you didn’t even look back as you stormed out of his place, before getting in your car and speeding off without giving him another look. All you could remember was screaming in anger and confusion as you drove all the way back to the comfort of your own bed.
“Baby, I miss you and I swear I’m gonna change, trust me” Remember how that lasted for a day?
It had barely been two days since you left Ransom’s the evening he told you he needed space and you were still pretty pissed with what happened. You were still in shock that he has asked for space and still hadn’t tried to contact you to at least explain himself. Assuming you were broken up and he was getting his dick wet elsewhere was the only reason you could tell your brain that he wouldn’t want to be with you anymore, the thought of anything else upset you stupid amounts. 2am and you were laying in bed, tossing and turning, trying to get some sleep without dreaming of Ransom and his hands all over your body, you were physically craving him. From the moment you slept with Ransom, you knew he had ruined you for all other men, it was obvious no one could be better than him sexually. Your phone started vibrating and it snapped you out of your tormenting fantasy. Looking over at your phone, you saw Ransoms name and had to pinch yourself to make sure you weren’t actually in some twisted dream, but his name really was there and he really was calling you at 2am.
“Ransom, why are you calling me?”, you answered harshly but were quickly silenced by the blaring music and mumbled voices coming through your speaker.
“Y/N, angel, please don’t hang up!” You could almost smell the amount of whiskey he must have consumed through the phone, his voice stumbling over every word he spoke.
“I miss you. You’re so fucking sexy. The things I would do to you right now. I love you. I shouldn’t have told you I needed space. I’m gonna change, just for you, trust me. Fuck, I love you!”, he rambled on and on and you kept telling yourself that he didn’t mean any of it, he was too fucked up to remember any of this tomorrow anyway. You just disconnected the call, throwing your phone back onto the bedside table and hiding under your duvet, hoping that sleep would consume you soon.
You awoke early on Saturday morning, groaning as you saw it was only 9am. After the week you had endured, you were hoping to sleep till at least midday. Deciding that you definitely couldn’t get back to sleep, you settled on a relaxing bubble bath that might at least help towards an afternoon nap later. After an excessive self-care morning, you were dancing around the kitchen in your sweats, making an extremely late brunch. By the time you’d cleaned up the kitchen, it was pushing towards 2pm and you settled on a movie day. Halfway through ‘Mamma Mia’, you were rudely interrupted by the doorbell. You weren’t expecting anyone so when you opened the door and saw Ransom with the biggest bunch of your favourite flowers, you couldn’t help but smile. You didn’t let him straight in, your back still up about the past couple of days. Ransom was clearly nervous, his body language oozing with guilt and you started to wonder if he really did feel terrible about what happened between you both. “Y/N, my angel. I’m so sorry about the way I called you last night but I’m not sorry about what I said, I meant every word..”, bewildered was the only way to describe your demeanour because it was so unlike Ransom to share his feelings with you, but here he was in front of you, baring his soul. You hesitantly let him in, quickly noticing the bag full of treats hidden behind his back as you both walked awkwardly to the kitchen. Watching Ransom pull out all your favourite snacks, you favourite bottle of wine and put the flowers in a vase, you could really feel yourself starting to believe that he was sorry, pondering if it was just a momentary freak out the other day.
You had slipped right back into relationship territory with Ransom that afternoon; chatting, laughing, eating. Ransom was feeding you chocolate covered strawberries, often caressing your cheek or running his fingers through your hair whilst he listened to every word you spoke and simply looking at you with such love and adoration. It might have been the couple of glasses of wine you’d drunk or the endless intimate touches from Ransom but you had never wanted him more than in this moment, your mind and body plagued with your carnal needs.
Hours had passed and it was fully dark outside, possibly into the early hours of the morning but you were still writhing under Ransom, an endless span of almosts as he continued edging you until you were completely his. “Ran, please, I can’t..”, you whimpered as he thrust back into you for what felt like the thousandth time with no release, every part of your body screaming with sensitivity. He just smirked at you and continued at his relentless pace that made you believe he was finally going to let you cum, but stilling immediately as you started to clench around him. Panting, he nibbled on your ear before mumbling seductively, “You’re so fucking hot when you’re begging for me, begging for my cock!”, and then you snapped. You mustered every physical fragment of strength you could to push against Ransoms chest, flipping you over so you were straddling him, pushing your hands against his chest to hold yourself up to try and assert some facade of dominance. Yet, whimpers were falling from your mouth as his cock reached deeper inside you, your legs shaking with complete exhaustion that still proved that Ransom had complete control over you.
Ransom could only look up at you in awe but also a new height of desire, “Fuck angel, that’s it. I want to see you make yourself cum all over my cock!”
Hearing his words, it didn’t take long for you to build back up to the edge, riding Ransom like your life depended on it. He still had control over your movements, gripping your hips and grinding them into him so you could feel every vein on his impressive cock. Lifting you up slightly so he could start pounding up into you, it didn’t take long before you were coming undone over him. Your legs were shaking, screams of pure adrenaline leaving you and eyes rolling back in your head as your overwhelming orgasm lingered. Ransom growled, bringing you back to some semblance of reality, indicating he was close to meeting his own orgasm. He looked up at you like there was no one else in the world he would want to be with, as he held you from collapsing into his chest, still violently thrusting up into you to reach his peak. Every inch of you body felt like it was burning all over again, an onslaught of euphoric pleasure heading straight back to your core as you clenched around him, “Shit angel, are you going to cum for me again?” Your eyes rolled back again as you felt your second orgasm approaching, not even confident your body could take anymore, “Ran, baby, please..” You didn’t even know what you were asking for anymore but somehow he knew exactly what you needed. He pulled your body down to him, your lips smashing together sloppily as he thrusted fiercely one final time before grinding your body over his continuously till you were both cumming together, a magical romanticism to the detached feeling you had from your body.
As you were falling asleep, completely exhausted from the ethereal feelings and emotions you’d experienced over the past few hours with Ransom, your body sometimes still twitching from pleasure, you felt him pull you into his body and whisper how much he loved you and you truly felt whole again.
Waking up the next morning, before you felt anything else, you felt sore, fully spent in the most glorious way and you were smiling at the thought of another day in bed with Ransom before you’d even opened your eyes. As you carefully stretched out, you noticed the emptiness and blanket of cold in your bed and wondered where Ransom was. Upon opening your eyes, you immediately felt the void atmosphere of your house, the stillness of the buzz and the nothingness in your heart. You knew in that moment, Ransom was gone and you had been used like a meaningless one night stand.
“We called it off again last night”
You were never a girl that pined after a guy but you had spent the past three day trying to contact Ransom. After that blissful day and night you spent together, where you fully opened up to one another physically and emotionally, you truly believed that you had something special that neither of you wanted to jeopardise. You knew that Ransom was hesitant about the commitment but with your support, he saw how the idea of having someone by your side forever was amazing. Ransom was yet to pick up one of your calls but all you wanted was answers, you deserved that. So without much deliberation, you turned up at his place one evening after work. You knocked on the door with intention, but your body screamed nervousness. Fidgeting on the spot, partially from the cold but also because you were anxious and didn’t know what would happen once Ransom opened the door. The door soon whipped open with an annoyed looking Ransom on the other side, but as soon as his eyes landed on you, they softened.
“Y/N, what are you doing here?”, you twirled the ends of your hair round your fingers, a nervous habit you recently picked up and all anger dissipated from your body, deciding a shouting match wasn’t the best method of attack.
“Um, I was hoping we could talk?”, and without even hesitating, he was letting you in and leading you into the familiar kitchen. Sitting with a glass of wine opposite Ransom at the breakfast bar, you started running your finger round the rim of the glass and wondering where to start with this awkward conversation.
“So I just wanted to talk about us. I want to know why you left before I woke up the other morning?”, you held a straight face trying to appear confident, you wanted answers but you also wanted him to know that you weren’t here for a fight.
“You know, you’ve always looked like such an angel when you slept, that’s why I started calling you that..”, he absentmindedly confessed. You were swooning inside at his words, but tried to keep your composure before continuing, “Ran, I'm serious..” For at least 20 minutes, it was back and forth tediously, you were trying to ask him serious questions whilst he cleverly avoided them but spoke about you like you were a literal goddess sent from heaven for him to worship. You were avoiding your glass of wine to keep a clear head, deciding upon a different approach to try and get Ransom to open up, showing him your commitment to the relationship, “Ransom..”, he looked into your eyes with enchantment. “You know how much I love you right?”, the look of softness had rapidly turned into a look of desire. Before you could say another word, Ransom had lifted you off the stool and pinned you up against the closest wall, his mouth forcing itself on yours, battling for your submission. His passion was infectious and you couldn’t help but give in, channelling your love into your touches and kisses, showing him exactly how you felt. Whilst your lips were fighting for some feign of dominance, your hands were clawing at the bottom of his top, wanting to cling onto any trace of intimacy between you. With one of his arms keeping you pinned to the wall and the other trailing down your body towards where you craved him, you could feel his moans vibrating through your body and his cock starting to push against your clothes. Palming him through his sweats, you matched his moans with the thought of where this was leading, biting his lip to convey you were ready to take this further.
“Oh angel, this new arrangement we’ve got is way better!”, he mumbled so faintly against your lips that it almost went unnoticed, but you knew what you heard, loud and clear Ransom was telling you that being friends with benefits was much better than your committed relationship. Completely humiliated, you were pushing him away from you and erasing any ounce of his touch from your skin.
“Y/N, what the fuck!”, Ransom began to approach you again like he was going to punish you in the most delicious way but you shook your head and stepped away from him, eager to get out of there.
“You.. Ransom, what the fuck! You..”, struggling to speak without crying, you took a deep breath before looking him dead in the eye, no emotion on your face. “Does our relationship really mean that little to you? Do I really mean that little to you? You’ve strung me along for a week just so you could keep getting your dick wet! You don’t deserve me, you don’t deserve my love! You fucking prick!”, you can’t even bare to give him a second look once you start walking towards the door, desperate to rid yourself of him permanently. The last thing you heard was Ransom yelling something incoherent as you slammed the door behind you.
“I’m really gonna miss you picking fights, and me falling for it, screaming that I’m right”
“Ran, don’t be ridiculous! He wasn’t even paying attention to me, he was our waiter for crying out loud!”, you slumped down on the sofa as you stormed into his place after a gorgeous meal at your favourite restaurant, celebrating your one year anniversary. Ransom was quick in the door behind you, throwing his jacket over the arm of the sofa in a huff before sitting down next to you. “Oh please Y/N, don’t be so ignorant! You knew he was looking at you and you were enjoying it, I saw you smiling at him as he poured you more wine!”, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his bizarre perspective on your politeness towards your server. You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh as his stupidity, “Babe, I was just being polite. You know I only want to be with you. You’d think that was pretty obvious with the way you were strutting around the restaurant with my panties hanging out your trouser pocket!” Now it was Ransoms turn to laugh, looking down towards the deep blue lace peaking out the pocket of his trousers, a pretty obvious attempt at dominance. You sat up quickly and snatched your panties out of his pocket, chucking them on the floor in annoyance, initially you thought it was sexy that he wanted to show everyone you belonged to him, but now it just seemed like a pathetic bid at control.
“I don’t want to argue about this Ran. I’m my own person and you can’t control my interactions with other human beings just because you think you own me!”, you huffed, standing up frustrated at his misogynistic view. “If you can’t see that I love you and want to be with only you, then I just can’t be fucked with your insecure ass!”, you huffed again, annoyed at the look of smugness he was giving you as you shouted at him, throwing your arms about in irritation.
“Oh angel, you are so fucking sexy when you’re angry..”, again you rolled your eyes at his playfulness during a serious conversation, but quickly understood he was just saying all this to get a rise out of you, to wind you up to the point of frustration so he could make it up to you in whatever way he wanted. Before you’d even calmed down, he was pulling you over his lap, smoothing his hand over your ass before slowing trailing it down your leg to the seam of your dress and pulling it back up to expose your bare backside.
“You’re mine Y/N, every part of you is mine and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I never want another man to look at you, because I only ever want you to look at me!”, and even in your compromising position, you couldn’t help but feel your heart swell at Ransoms admission of pure devotion to you.
“However, now, I think you need punishing for the way you spoke to me, what do you think angel?” All you could do was bite your lip and nod your head, already anticipating the first spanking. Ransom was running his hands over your ass, dipping down into your dripping core every now and again, pulling whimpers from your lips. When the first spank came, you squealed in gratifying pain and awaited the second.
“What do you say angel?”, he fingers dipping back towards your core, “T-thank you sir.” You were wriggling around over his lap, prompting Ransom to hurry up but also to create some friction over his trousers, feeling the stir of his cock pushing into your stomach. “Please, Ransom, again..” *SMACK*
You startled awake as you heard a crash, quickly sitting up on the sofa and looking around, noticing your phone had dropped onto the wood floor. You sighed and wiped the layer of sweat on your forehead, realising you were dreaming about Ransom, wondering if it meant anything or if it was just your heart beginning to heal from the pain. Smiling lightly at the fond memory, you picked your phone up, unlocking it and bringing up Ransoms name in your contacts, intent on deleting his number. It had only been a week since you left Ransom but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, still not ready to admit defeat on your relationship.
“So he calls me up and he's like ‘I still love you’, I mean this is exhausting, you know?”
A month had passed and you had fully submerged yourself into work, your business thriving and your heart sort of on the mend from Ransom. You knew it would be a long road because you had spent two years of your life deeply in love with him, but it felt like the chains around your heart were finally loosening and you could breathe without constant hurt. You were determined to come out of this a new person. You were heading home from work on time, ready to try and make a new lasagne recipe you had seen online. Once you were set up in your kitchen, you opened the recipe on your phone and began to chop vegetables. You were entirely focused, welcoming the soft music flowing through the house until your phone startled you out of your bubble. You wiped your hands dry quickly before picking up your phone to see who was calling, your whole body freezing at the name on the screen -Ransom- Debating whether it was a smart idea to answer, you realised you would be just as bad as Ransom if you didn’t pick up. You took a deep breath before answering, leg twitching in anticipation of hearing his voice.
“Hello?”
“Y/N”, your breath caught in your throat at the sound of his voice.
“Hi Ran”, mentally, you cursed yourself for using his nickname.
“I’m so happy you answered, I was worried you wouldn’t. It’s so good to hear your voice angel!”
“Well, I did. Is everything ok?”, you tried to sound tough, even though you were already weakening from his effortless flirting.
“Yeah, everything is fine. Well not everything, I miss you.” You didn’t speak for a minute, completely taken aback by his words.
“Angel, you still there?”
“Um, yeah sorry.. I’m here, just processing. You miss me? Even after everything that happened?”
“After everything, I miss you. I still love you. I fucking love you so much Y/N!” Your heart was doing somersaults, your breathing barely keeping up with your emotions but your head, your head was screaming at you to not go down this road again, to not let him knock back down the walls you’d only just built. What could you even say to him? Your soulmate, baring his heart to you again, but only after he tore it into a few thousand pieces.
“Ransom, this is exhausting..”
#ransomdrysdale#ransomdrysdalexreader#knivesout#chrisevans#cevans#fanfiction#oneshot#smut#taylorswiftlyrics#ransomdrysdalefanfiction
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surprises- pt 1 | mat barzal
welp, here we go with barzy baby fic! how long’s it going to be? your guess is as good as mine! but i’m excited to start sharing with you guys and i’d love to hear what you think!
warnings: mention of the pandemic/quarantine
-----
The timing was pretty poor, you could acknowledge that.
Stuck in your apartment as a result of social distancing, you’d grown bored quickly. Working from home was only so exciting and your company’s slack channel was often getting more and more ridiculous as you and your coworkers searched for things to talk about (debates had thus far included best and worst Taylor Swift song, best and worst Harry Potter book, and ranking coworkers' new baby names).
Your roommate had left you on your own, in favor of quarantining herself with her relatively new boyfriend (ignoring your cries of betrayal as she left) so when your neighbor and friend from across the hall had come knocking, you welcomed him with open arms. “I’m bored out of my mind.” Your eyes are wide as you pull him inside.
“How do you think I feel?” You didn’t even notice the bottles of wine in Mat’s hands but you’re grateful for them as he settles them on the counter. “The only thing I can do is workout right now.”
You give him a look. “Yeah, because that’s what you need to be doing.”
“I’m going to lose my washboard abs.” He whines overdramatically, and that’s what sets you off.
Technically you’re still supposed to be working, but you know for a fact you’re not the only one who’s started drinking already and as long as you stay logged in for the next hour, no one will care. You and Mat quickly work your way through the first bottle and he’s popping the second one, while you log off your work account and place the take out order for pizza.
The second bottle goes almost as quickly, but then the two of you slow down once the food arrives. Mat pops the third bottle in your apartment after dinner, when the two of you settle in together, very closely, much closer than usual, for some Netflix.
You’re not really sure who makes the first move; you know you’re leaning against him and that his arm is around you, brushing against your shoulder, but the next thing you remember, you’re in his lap and his hands are eagerly tracing every bit of skin they can find.
That you end up in bed after that isn’t surprising. That it keeps happening is a little surprising. But, well, there’s not really a lot else to keep you occupied.
And it’s lot more fun to spend your days fucking Mat than doing almost anything else. There’s apparently a lot you two have been missing out on that you could have been doing.
Eventually, things go back to normal- or as normal as they could be after the pandemic that occurred-and despite the fun the two of you had during your quarantine, you fall easily back into friends and neighbors. Mat gets back to real training, a modified game schedule, and then into playoffs, where after crashing and burning in the first “round” (if you’d like to call it that), he heads back home to Western Canada for a shortened summer to catch up with family and friends.
You’re back at work, excited to be with people again. You and your coworkers institute happy hour Friday’s, where you all start ducking out of work two hours early-summer hours, your boss is calling them, completely ignoring the fact that no one else in your company is having them-to go to the bar, hang out, and just catch up after spending the long weeks apart. They usually end up turning into more of a shit show, with the office group chat often blowing up the next morning with complaints about how hungover people are.
It’s after one such happy hour that you first notice your issue. You wake up Saturday morning, roll over, and then immediately rush into the bathroom to throw up. Within the next hour, that happens four more times.
You’re lying as still as possible on the couch in the living room when your roommate comes out of her room and straight up laughs at your misery. “It’s not funny.” You whine at her, even though it makes you kind of nauseous to even talk.
“Yes it is.” Molly snickers. “You were home by like 8. For a lightweight like me to get to sit here and watch you be hungover as fuck when you didn’t even have this crazy night, this is my Christmas. Welcome to the club, bitch!” She cackles, not unkindly, but definitely remembering all the times that you and your friends had laughed at her when she’d been in your position.
You barely even hear her, as the first part of her sentence registers, and you bolt upright, immediately regretting it as you do so. You were home by 8. You hadn’t even had that much to drink, begging off a third drink after a headache had started. There’s absolutely no reason for you to be feeling this way.
“You’re right!” You’ve learned from your mistakes and you slowly lower yourself back down to the couch. “I must have eaten something funny.” You’re already starting to feel a little better, you think; it wasn’t nearly as nauseating to lower to the couch. You’re actually almost feeling like you could stomach some food.
“Ugh.” Molly scoffs in disgust. “Couldn’t you just let me have this?”
“Want to watch some Netflix and order breakfast?”
“Fine.”
And as the day goes on, you feel a ton better, even feeling well enough to join Molly and her boyfriend for dinner at one of your new favorite places. It’s another early night and you hold off on booze, just because your stomach’s still feeling kinda queasy from the morning.
And it’s full on rolling again the next morning. You’re back in the bathroom again first thing, which is where Molly finds you, a look of concern on her face. “So, what’s going on?”
You close your eyes, a little more sure that the nagging thought from yesterday morning might be true. “I think we need to take a walk.”
She gives you a look. “To where?”
“Drug store.”
She inhales a sharp breath. “To buy?”
“I think you know what.”
“Yeah, but it wouldn’t be real to me until you said it.”
You stand up shakily, reaching for your toothbrush. No use in putting this off longer than you need to. “Yeah, me either.
Molly squeezes the arm that’s reaching out for your toothpaste comfortingly and then turns to leave and get ready herself.
-----
Once you’ve got far more pregnancy tests in your basket than you’ll hope to ever need in your life, Molly looks at you. “Did you want to take them all home or?”
“Or what? Take them here in CVS? This isn’t fucking Juno, Molly! We have an apartment!”
She shrugs as the two of you start walking up toward checkout. “Maybe you just didn’t want to taint your bathroom with those memories.”
That’s a good point. “I’ll just use yours.” You crack and the two of you burst into laughter, for the first time all day.
It feels so good to laugh that you don’t even notice someone calling out for your roommate. “Moll!” You both look around for the familiar voice, searching for Molly’s boyfriend, but you’d been so distracted by your laughter that you don’t realize how close he is until he speaks again. “Holy shit! Is there uh-something you need to tell me?”
Brian’s actually right there-like standing next to you, in line. Molly’s eyes are wide, looking between you and Brian in a panic as she’s unsure how to answer, so you step up. “They’re not for her; they’re for me.”
“Oh.” Brian says. Molly breathes out a sigh of relief. He looks over at you. “Uhh. Do I need to kick somebody’s ass?”
You burst into laughter and Molly slugs him on the arm. “Bri!”
“What?” He protests. “I’m just trying to be supportive.”
You’re still laughing. “Not yet.” You tell him. “I’ll keep you posted.” Brian’s great; the more time you spend with him, the more you grow to love him and the more convinced you become that he’s absolutely perfect for Molly. But there’s a zero percent chance he’s going to be able to beat up Mat, who’s probably got a good 3-4 inches and at least 30lbs. on him.
Brian grins. “Done deal. Should I go grab some-” He pauses. “Well I was going to ask if I should grab some booze to get this party on the road but that doesn’t seem appropriate. Sparkling cider? Orange juice?”
“There’s no point in having orange juice if there’s not champagne in it.” You tell him.
“Ohh, go hit that juice bar we were at last week!” Molly requests.
“See you in a few!” Brian salutes.
“I love him.” You tell her, as he exits the door.
“You can have him as a baby daddy.” She offers.
“I might take you up on that.” You pay for the absurd number of pregnancy tests and begin walking with her back home.
She scoffs. “Yeah, like you’re gonna need a stand in.”
You’re actually pretty nervous of that fact.
-----
A few hours later, you’ve got a string of positive pregnancy tests sitting in a row on the living room table. Not even one negative giving you a sliver of hope. Brian and Molly are drinking for you, for all three of you, and you’re sitting in your corner of the couch numbly staring at them.
Suddenly, you can’t take it anymore. You reach for your phone and press the contact for the one voice you need to hear now.
Mat answers almost immediately, laughing, sounding like he’s having a great time, doing...whatever he’s doing back at home. Sounding young and carefree, like the 23 year old he is. Like the 23 year old you usually sound like.
“Hey!” You can practically hear him grinning through the phone.
“Hey.” You are...decidedly not grinning, but you do your best to stay upbeat and positive.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, immediately, so you must not have done too good a job.
“Nothing.” You tell him. Despite what all the tests are saying, you don’t want to say anything until you call your doctor first thing in the morning. And this certainly isn’t a conversation you want to have with him over the phone if you can help it. “Just-a little bit of a crazy weekend.” Not necessarily in the sense you’d usually be referring, but not a lie, all the same.
“Big parties?” Mat teases.
You close your eyes, taking a deep breath and trying not to cry. “Something like that.”
You can practically hear him frown. “Are you sure you’re okay, YN?”
“Yeah.” You tell him. “Just wondering when you’re coming back so I don’t have to water your plants anymore.”
“Do I still even have plants?” He asks skeptically. “I know what your black thumb is like.”
“I guess you’ll see when you come back!” The answer is no. There were no plants. You and Molly kept swearing you’d go out and replace them with new ones before he came back, but you were sure he’d be able to tell. He always could.
Mat laughs. “I know what that means.” In the background, you hear someone call for him and he shouts for them to fuck off.
“You got to go?”
“We’re about to go finish our hike.” Mat says, apologetically. “Have to get down the mountain now.”
“Ugh.” You scrunch your nose.
“Alright, city girl.” He teases. “I’m sure I’ll talk to you soon!”
“Excuse you, I am from Larchmont!”
He laughs again. “I think that’s probably worse.”
“Don’t fall down the mountain.” You tell him dryly.
“Is Molly there? I want to make sure you aren’t holding a voodoo doll right now.”
You laugh. “Bye Mat.” He bids you the same and you hang up, feeling much better than when you called.
Still anxious as shit, but at least Mat is still the same Mat.
You wonder for how long that will last after you tell him.
#mat barzal imagine#mat barzal fan fic#hockey imagines#hockey fanfiction#nhl imagines#nhl fanfiction#my hockey fics#surprises series
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Best Two Out of Three, Part 18
Well it’s still a decent hour for me, but I think I failed to get this posted before @what-does-mine-say fell asleep. She’s been the real MVP of these last couple parts, too, just saying.
Anywho, no long note this time. All I have to say is thank you to everyone who continues to read and support this lil fic (that’s not so lil anymore), and I really do hope you enjoy :)
Best Two Out of Three
Part: 18/26
Pairing: Kenny Omega x OFC x Cash Wheeler and Adam Page x OFC
Word count: 5.7k
Warnings: Language; angst.
Catch up on previous parts here.
Adam spent the entire fifty-minute drive home bracing himself to face Callie. He knew she’d be upset; she had every reason and right to be upset. He’d turned her down, pushed her away, disappeared and left her to find out when she woke up, alone. It was cold, what he’d done. Heartless. And someone as warm and loving as Callie shouldn’t have to put up with it. She deserved better—better than what he could give her; better than him. And the longer he drove, the more he felt like that was all he could say to her.
His stomach twisted in knots as he turned down the road to his house. It only got worse when he pulled into his driveway and saw that Callie’s car was gone.
He put the gearshift in park and cut the ignition, but he didn’t get out of the truck. He sat there in silence, staring at the spot that Callie’s car usually occupied. He had a sinking feeling that she hadn’t just run around the corner or gone for a drive herself. This felt like a more permanent absence.
He got out of the truck and walked to the front door. It was locked. He fumbled with his keys to get it open. When he stepped inside, he found a note waiting for him on the kitchen island.
He could guess what it said before he read it.
I decided to head to Florida early and stay with Britt for a while. You need space to figure out what’s going on in your head and in your heart. It breaks my heart to write this… but we can’t go on the way we have been. I hope you’ll figure it out soon. I’ll miss you. I love you. x Callie.
Adam read the note over and over, until the words started to warp and blend together. There was a crinkled spot on the paper from where a tear had fallen as she wrote. He set it back down on the island, numb. It had to be a ten-hour drive to where Britt and Adam Cole lived outside Orlando. If Callie would rather take on that than face him, Adam had a feeling she wouldn’t be coming back. She was gone.
* * * * * * * * * *
“Imagine that it’s Tag Team Appreciation Night, and the number two ranked tag team in all of AEW doesn’t have a match, not even on Dark. Oh wait—we don’t have to imagine it, because we’re fucking living it!”
Alex frowned across the locker room at Chuck. She didn’t blame him for being upset; she was upset for him. Outside the Young Bucks, Best Friends were the most established tag team on the roster—and yet, they’d been completely left out of this so-called “Tag Team Appreciation Night” that FTR was hosting on Dynamite that night. It was a slap across the face. And, in the back of her mind, Alex couldn’t help but wonder if her situation with Cash was to blame for why Chuck and Trent had been excluded.
“They’re not even gonna interview us about who our favorite tag team is,” Trent lowly said. “They interviewed Kenny and Hangman.”
“Of course they did,” Chuck said with a roll of his eyes. “No offense, Alex,” he added.
Her eyebrows arched. “Why would I be offended?” she quickly asked—maybe a little too quickly. She’d been paranoid ever since Saturday that Chuck somehow knew what she’d done with Kenny on his balcony. Granted, she absolutely would have heard it by now if he did… but still. Just the thought of him ever finding out made her want to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment.
He gave her an odd look. “Because Adam’s your friend. And Kenny’s… whatever.”
Alex swallowed. That answer didn’t help her paranoia. “Oh. Well, none taken. I don’t blame you for being upset.” She looked sheepishly down at the floor. “I wish there was something I could do about it.”
“It’s not your fault, Alex,” Trent assured. “They’re just trying to hold us down because they know we’re better than them.”
A corner of Alex’s mouth turned up. But she didn’t know if it was sweet or just pathetic that Trent knew she needed to hear that they didn’t blame her. “I’m gonna go to catering,” she said as she stood from her seat. Another thing she needed was coffee—and probably a chocolate chip cookie or two. “Does anyone want anything?”
Trent and Chuck both shook their heads no; James didn’t even respond from where he sat on the couch, leaned back with his arms spread out, one ankle crossed over his knee. It looked like he was asleep. He had a match against Chris Jericho that night and he was completely unbothered. Alex only wished she could be so carefree.
She pushed her way out of the locker room and pulled her phone from her pocket, her thoughts turning to other things. She hadn’t heard from Callie in days, not since she’d tried to text her when she was in Philadelphia; since she’d left her on read Saturday morning. It was obvious something was wrong—she just wasn’t sure what. Adam hadn’t really talked to her since Saturday, either. And Alex didn’t know if she should ask or just mind her own business.
Catering was just around the corner now. She turned it and slowed to a stop. Dax and Cash were right in front of her. Her eyes met Cash’s. Her heart jumped into her mouth.
“Alex,” he said. He looked just as unprepared to see her as she felt to see him. “Hey.”
“Hi,” she returned. She flashed back to the middle of the night in Philadelphia, to the balcony underneath the moonlight. Guilt gripped her so tight that she struggled to breathe.
Dax looked awkwardly between them. “Okay. Well, I’ll let y’all catch up.” He made a hasty exit. Cash watched after him as he disappeared into catering. Alex couldn’t tell if he was annoyed with him for bailing or not.
She awkwardly cleared her throat before the silence could drown them. “Um, how are you?”
He let out a wry laugh. “I didn’t hear from you all week, Alex.”
His tone implied a follow-up statement: How do you think I feel? She knew the answer: hurt, forgotten, cast aside. But she felt all those things, too. “I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me,” she said.
His brow puckered. “What? All I wanted was to hear from you.”
That surprised her. “Then why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because—” he cut himself off with a frustrated huff. “You need to figure out what you want, Alex. Not me. And the fact that I haven’t heard from you at all… it feels like you’ve made your decision.”
Alex’s eyes burned and her stomach turned. She could almost feel the hot summer air on her skin, hear Kenny’s voice in her ear. Her actions that night spoke louder than her silence. But she’d been drunk and emotional. She’d given in because she was hurt that she hadn’t heard from Cash. Right?
He let out a sigh and moved closer. She didn’t expect it when he reached out and took her hand in his. Her skin tingled at his touch. “I want us to talk, sweetheart. But not here. Maybe we could go somewhere after the show? I know you have a Dark match, but—”
“Wait, what?” she cut him off, suddenly confused. “I don’t have a Dark match.”
He gave her an odd look. “I just saw it on the card; you have a match against Anna Jay. Did no one tell you?”
Alex bit down on her jaw, frustration bubbling up inside her. No, no one had told her. And she had a feeling she’d been left in the dark on purpose.
She gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, I have to go,” she said, and she pulled her hand from his and marched toward production. Her anger built with every step she took. It was near boiling-point by the time she found the match card taped to the wall. There it was, printed on the paper as clear as day: Alex Hawthorne vs. Anna Jay, slotted as the second match after the end of Dynamite.
She ripped the paper from the wall, crinkling it in her clutched fist as she marched back out of production and through the halls of the arena. She knew exactly who was responsible for this, and he had another thing coming if he thought she’d just lay down and take it.
She arrived at the EVP room and knocked hard and fast on the door. Someone called, “Come in”; she barged in before they even finished. Adam, the Bucks, and Brandon Cutler stared up at her, matching looks of wide-eyed surprise on their faces. Alex walked right up to Matt Jackson and slapped the paper down on the table in front of him.
“What the hell is this?”
The entire room went still. Matt’s eyebrows arched, obviously stunned by her nerve. He glanced down at the paper. “Well, it looks like the match card. Did you take that off the wall?”
Her eyes narrowed. “And when were you planning on telling me that I have a Dark match against Anna Jay?”
“Oh.” He looked her right in the eye and said, “You have a Dark match against Anna Jay.”
Alex’s other hand curled into a fist at her side. She could have hit him she was so angry. Knocked that indignant look right off his stupid face—
“Alex,” Adam stood and put a hand on the small of her back, trying to diffuse the situation, but she ignored him.
“Is this about Cash?” she charged. “Are you punishing me for what he did?”
Matt’s brow lowered. “I didn’t realize giving you a match was punishment.”
She gaped back at him. “I didn’t know I had it until two fucking minutes ago!”
“Alright, come on.” Adam took her gently by the arm and whisked her out of the room. Alex let him lead her down the hall and around a corner into a private corridor. She started to shake as she leaned back against the wall. Adam gripped her shoulders.
“Take a deep breath,” he said.
She took his advice, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Her anger started to give way to embarrassment and shame. Had she really just done that?
“That was ballsy,” Adam commented. She breathed out a rueful laugh. “Are you alright?” he asked.
Alex tilted her head back against the wall as she looked up at him. She was tired of everyone asking her that. She was just tired all around. And that was exactly what she told him.
“I’m tired,” she breathed. “I’m tired of feeling like everything is falling apart around me. I’m tired of doubting myself and feeling like I have no control over anything. I’m tired of trying to do the right thing just to have it backfire in my fucking face.”
Her voice cracked, and Adam pulled her into him. She looped her arms under his and buried her face in his shoulder, drawing in another deep breath. She didn’t want to cry. She was tired of crying, too.
“I know exactly how you feel,” Adam said. “More than you realize.”
Alex pulled back and looked up at him. That was her opening to figure out what was up with him and Callie. “Why?” she asked. “What’s going on with you and Callie? She hasn’t said a word to me since she tried to text me when I was in Philly.”
Adam let her go. His arms fell to his sides as he took a step back. It looked like the weight of the entire world was on his shoulders. But she couldn’t have predicted what he said next.
“Yeah, you and me both. She left.”
“What?” Instinctively, Alex reached out and clutched one of his hands in both of hers. “What do you mean, she left?”
“Exactly what it sounds like,” he returned. “When I got back from driving to your place, I found a note in the kitchen. She’d just gone.”
Alex squeezed his hand. “What did it say?”
He shifted, avoiding her gaze, but he didn’t let go of her grip. “That I need to figure out what I’m feeling. That she’s gonna stay with Britt for a while.”
His eyes finally met hers, and she swore she felt every emotion coursing through him herself. She’d already felt all of it, for days now. Pain. Guilt. Hopelessness. They were stranded in the same fucking boat, up shit creek without a paddle. But even though misery loved company, Alex didn’t want Adam to be stuck there with her. She’d push him out and make him swim if she had to. She wanted him to be happy.
“I’m so sorry, Adam.” She reached up and pulled him into a tight hug. “Why didn’t you say anything to me?”
“I wanted to,” he said into her shoulder. “But you’re dealing with your own shit. I didn’t want to bother you with mine.”
“You wouldn’t have bothered me,” she assured. He hugged her tighter. She did the same. “She hasn’t said anything to you since she left?”
“No,” he said. “I haven’t even seen her today. I don’t even know if she’s here.”
The resignation in his voice broke Alex’s heart. But before she could think of anything to say in return, he flipped the conversation on her.
“What about you? Have you talked to Cash?”
She pulled back and unwound her arms with a heavy sigh. It was only fair that she fill him in on her shit, too. “I ran into him before I burst in on you guys. But no.” She chewed on the inside of her mouth. “I think he wants to talk after the show.”
“Well, that’s good,” Adam offered, hopefully. “Right?”
She looked away, down the hall. “I honestly don’t know.” She thought back to the look on Cash’s face, to how he’d taken her hand and called her “sweetheart.” But she shook her head, snapping herself back to the present before her overthinking could carry her away. “Right now I just need focus on getting through this fucking match I just found out about.”
“You’ll be fine,” Adam said. “Just don’t let Anna or any of the other Dark Order freaks get in your head.”
His eyes turned dark; introspective. Alex frowned. It seemed like he was speaking from experience. But it wouldn’t benefit either of them to go there right now. “You’re defending the tag titles tonight, right?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yeah, against Jurassic Express. I need to focus on getting through that fucking match. Although Kenny seems to be in a better mood this week, so that helps.”
Alex’s cheeks flushed when she heard that. “Oh? I haven’t seen him.” She and Kenny had talked since Philly—of course they had. But if Adam wondered if she had anything to do with his tag team partner’s improved mood, he thankfully didn’t ask.
“I guess I should get back in there,” he said. “We were going over some stuff for BTE when you burst in and bit Matt’s head off.”
“Jesus.” Alex pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m probably gonna pay for that, aren’t I?”
But, surprisingly, Adam waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. Just focus on winning your match. And not joining a cult.”
A corner of his mouth quirked up. It was small, but it was nice to see him smile; hear him joke. They needed to do more of that, like they used to. “I don’t know,” Alex returned with a sarcastic laugh. “Joining a cult might be a nice change of pace at this point.”
* * * * * * * * * *
Dynamite wasn’t over yet, but FTR wasn’t sticking around for the rest of the show. They’d done what they’d set out to do with Tag Team Appreciation Night: prove that they were the best tag team in the business. It wasn’t their fault that Rock ‘N’ Roll Express had gotten in the way. Those old-timers should have hung it up a long time ago, anyway.
They burst back into their dressing room to grab their things and get the hell out of dodge. As Cash waited for Dax to finish packing up, he pulled his phone from his pocket and looked down at the lock screen. He still hadn’t changed the background; it was a picture of him and Alex from the night they’d gone out with Adam and Callie, at that fancy restaurant downtown. She smiled wide at the camera as he held her close, his arms tight around her waist, his face nuzzled against her cheek. That night had only been two weeks ago. But it felt like a lifetime.
“Hey.” Dax got his attention and he looked back up. He nudged his chin at his phone, at the photo on the screen. “You sure you don’t want to stay for her match?”
Cash looked back down at the picture. The screen went dark. “Yeah,” he returned. “She can find me if she wants to see me.”
He pushed the phone back into his pocket. And then he grabbed his bag, and he and Dax left the arena.
* * * * * * * * * *
Smack!
Alex saw stars and fell backward to the mat, stunned by the unexpected bicycle kick from Anna Jay. She covered her and hooked her leg. It was only on instinct that Alex was able to kick out. Her head hadn’t been in the match from the moment it had started.
She knew Cash had left. She’d gone to talk to him after the melee in the ring with the Young Bucks and Rock ‘N’ Roll Express only to find FTR’s dressing room empty. It cut deep that he’d just up and gone without so much as a text, especially after claiming that he wanted to talk. It made her wonder if he’d really meant it.
But Alex had no choice but to focus on Anna when she climbed on top of her and started choking her.
The ref counted as she struggled to breathe, clutching at Anna’s wrists. “1! 2! 3! Come on, Anna, let her go!”
Anna let out a sadistic chuckle as she released her. Alex had barely managed to gulp in a breath of air before Anna pulled her up by her hair and threw her hard into a turnbuckle. She let out a cry and charged; but Alex threw up an elbow, hitting her in the jaw and stunning her. She climbed to the top rope as quickly as she could. When Anna stumbled back around to face her, Alex launched herself into the air and hit her with a missile dropkick.
She scrambled to cover her; Anna kicked out at two. Alex clutched her throat as she glared at Anna.
That crazy cult bitch had choked her.
That crazy cult bitch had made a terrible mistake.
Alex grabbed a fistful of Anna’s long blonde hair and sat her up. She didn’t let go of it as she kicked her hard in the back with a resounding whack that made the people watching in the audience wince. Anna arched her back, bending her knees and fingers in pain, and Alex ran toward the opposite ropes, rebounded off, and nailed her in the jaw with a running knee. She sat on top of her and hooked her leg. She kicked out and powered her shoulder up at the last possible second, sending Alex tumbling off of her. She stared at the ref in disbelief. “It was two,” he confirmed, holding up two fingers. She bit down on her jaw in frustration.
Alex pulled Anna to her feet. She grabbed her forearm, pushed her back to the ropes opposite the ring entrance, and Irish-whipped her to the other side. Anna rebounded and Alex ran toward her—but someone caught her eye as they appeared on the entrance ramp and she stumbled, rolling her left ankle. She managed to lift her right knee at the last second and hit Anna in the gut, sending her flipping to the mat, but Alex fell with her. He ankle throbbed as she looked back at the ramp. Brodie Lee, Evil Uno, and Stu Grayson stood in a line. Watching.
Alex knew she needed to act fast. She crawled over to Anna and locked on her finishing submission maneuver, the ’88 Sleeper. Her ankle screamed in protest as she put weight on it, but she channeled the pain into wrenching Anna back harder. It wasn’t long before she tapped.
The ref called for the bell. Alex threw Anna aside and fell back onto the mat. She reached for her left boot, fumbling to undo the laces and loosen the pressure on her ankle; but she stopped when a pair of brown dress shoes appeared in front of her. She looked up, and up, until her eyes connected with the cold, dark stare of Mr. Brodie Lee.
He grinned down at her. “Hello, Alex.”
She froze. Grayson and Uno flanked his either side. She was surrounded.
“That’s a helluva submission you have there,” Brodie complimented. “Granted, I’m not happy Anna lost…” he cast a glance at Anna Jay, who laid still clutching her back on the mat. “But you impressed me.”
He held out his hand. People throughout the arena shouted and booed, but Alex didn’t hear any of them; Brodie’s eyes were arresting. Haunting. Inviting. She didn’t even realize that she’d reached up and slid her hand into his until he gripped it and pulled her to her feet. Her ankle smarted and she stumbled; Brodie put his other hand on her waist to steady her, and Alex grabbed his arm. She couldn’t look away from his eyes. They were so dark that she almost couldn’t tell the pupil from the iris. Two black bottomless pools. She wanted to jump in and see how far she’d sink—
“Alex!”
Someone wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her away from Brodie, breaking the spell. Chuck. Trent and Adam were with him. They stood between her and Dark Order like a barricade.
“Keep moving, pal,” Trent warned. “She’s not available.”
Brodie let out a laugh, slow and deep in his chest. He looked back at Alex. “Do they think they own you?”
Adam shoved him then. “Get the hell out of here before I make you.”
Grayson took a threatening step forward; but Brodie held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t bother,” he said. “The inner demons will take care of this one.”
Adam bit down on his jaw; but Trent put a hand on his shoulder. “He’s not worth it, let’s just get Alex out of here.”
Alex’s eyes stayed glued on Brodie as Chuck helped her hobble to the ropes; Trent held them open so she could gingerly duck through. When she was on the other side, her gaze connected with Brodie’s again. He smirked.
“Think about it, Alex.”
It wasn’t until Chuck draped her arm over his shoulders and turned her away that she was able to pull her eyes from his.
“Can you put weight on it?” Chuck asked as they started to walk.
Alex winced, but nodded. “Yeah, but it hurts.”
“It’s probably just a sprain, then.”
He helped her through the tunnel into the back. Trent and Adam were close behind. “Jesus, Alex, I thought I told you to focus on not joining a cult tonight,” Adam quipped—but Alex didn’t hear him. Kenny had just run into Gorilla.
“Alex!” He hurried toward her, worry etched on his face. “Are you alright? What happened out there?”
Alex didn’t answer; she couldn’t. She was too overcome with emotion at just the sight of him. Cash had left—but Kenny was still here.
She removed her arm from around Chuck and limped over to him. She practically fell into his arms. “Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed as he hugged her. “Tell me what happened.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I got distracted when Dark Order came out and I stepped wrong and rolled it. And then Brodie was suddenly there and—”
“It’s okay, forget about him,” he gently returned. “Come on, let’s get you to the trainer.”
He took her by the waist and helped her out of Gorilla and down the hall toward the trainer’s room. And as they walked, Alex couldn’t help but think, over and over: Cash left, but Kenny’s still here.
* * * * * * * * * *
Callie had left Daily’s Place right after the tag title match. She’d wanted to stay and watch Adam; she was happy that he and Kenny had retained the titles against Jurassic Express. But after that, she caught an Uber back to the hotel. Even though she’d wanted to see Adam wrestle, she still didn’t want to talk to him.
Besides, she needed some time to herself. While she was beyond grateful to Britt and Adam Cole for letting her stay with them, Britt had been, for lack of a better term, smothering her ever since she’d arrived at their house late Saturday evening. And because she and Britt were sharing a hotel room, too, she decided to take the opportunity while the doctor was still at the arena to grab some dinner and air to breathe.
She pushed the down button for the elevator. When it arrived several seconds later and the doors slid open, she was surprised and confused to see Cash standing inside.
“Hey.” His eyebrows arched, obviously surprised to see her, too. “What’re you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same,” Callie said as she stepped onto the elevator. She pressed the button for the lobby. “Aren’t you supposed to be hosting Tag Team Appreciation Night right now?”
He laughed lightly to himself. “Dax and I did what we needed to do and then left. I’ll just put it that way.”
Callie arched a curious brow, wondering what exactly he meant by that. But before she could ask, he asked her, “Why aren’t you back at the arena with Adam?”
The elevator arrived at the lobby with a ding. Callie drew in a deep breath as the doors slid open and she and Cash stepped out. She was both surprised and not that he didn’t know what was going on with her and Adam. But he’d find out eventually—the entire locker room would—so she might as well take the opportunity to tell him herself.
“Actually, Adam and I are kind of on a break right now.”
He stopped walking and turned to face her, his brow furrowed in confusion and disbelief. “What? Are you serious?”
She nodded. “Yeah. He doesn’t want to talk to me about anything anymore, so I left him a note and drove down to Britt’s Saturday morning. And… yeah. We haven’t spoken since.”
It didn’t hurt as much to tell him as Callie had expected it would. After four days of no contact with Adam, she’d resigned herself to the situation. She’d tried to help him. But only he could help himself now.
“Shit,” Cash breathed. He ran a hand through his hair, still obviously thrown off by the news. “I had no idea. I mean, Adam did seem pretty distracted tonight, but that’s honestly not that unusual.”
“Exactly,” Callie returned, more firmly than she intended.
Cash’s brow puckered in sympathy. He looked down at his phone, as if considering something. “Well, I don’t know where you were heading; I was just gonna go to the bar to get a drink,” he said as he pointed a thumb in the direction of the hotel bar. “But I could eat, if you want to go grab something. Misery loves company, right?”
Callie blinked, surprised at the offer. But then she realized: if anyone could relate to what she was going through right now, it was Cash.
She nodded. “Sure. But I get to pick the place.”
* * * * * * * * * *
They ended up walking to a bar and restaurant not that far from the hotel. It was a nice night, and they opted for a table outside on the patio. It was tucked away in the corner; intimate. The hostess had probably assumed they were on a date. Callie had been grateful when her cocktail arrived.
“So, if misery loves company then I guess that means you and Alex still haven’t worked it out?” she asked as she grabbed her straw and took a long sip. The drink was already halfway gone and their food hadn’t arrived yet.
Cash reached for his beer, shaking his head. “No. Back at the arena I told her I wanted to talk with her after the show, but she freaked out about her Dark match and ran off without saying anything.” He took a sip, swallowed it down. “The ball’s in her court. She knows how to find me if she wants to talk.”
Callie frowned. The part of her that had come to value Alex’s friendship wanted to know how she was feeling about all this, what she was thinking. But the jealous part of her still resented that Adam seemed so willing to open up to Alex instead of her. “Kenny practically bragged about what happened,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head and gave a sarcastic laugh. “Of course he did. You know, after the first fight with Kenny, I admitted to Alex that I was worried he could steal her back. I wish I’d been wrong.”
His forearm flexed as he gripped his beer glass in frustration. Callie’s brow furrowed. “You think she’s gone back to him?”
Cash shook his head again. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Sometimes I feel like I made a mistake telling her to choose. But I can’t be with someone who obviously has feelings for someone else.”
Callie reached for her straw again. And before she could stop herself, she muttered, “That’s how I feel about Adam.”
The comment obviously took Cash by surprise. “You think Adam has feelings for someone else?”
Callie bit her lip. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him that she thought Adam had feelings for Alex. So she danced around it. “I practically offered myself to him on a plate the other night, and he literally pushed me away to get another drink. So that really helped with my self-esteem. I don’t know; I guess there’s someone else he’d rather see in skimpy lingerie.”
Her cheeks suddenly burned, realizing what she’d said. She needed to slow down on the alcohol. But when she glanced at Cash and saw the look on his face, she wanted to down the rest of her drink in a single gulp.
“What?” she asked.
Cash laughed to himself as he shook his head. “Nothing. Just something’s wrong with him if he turned you down.”
Callie’s face flushed again. The waiter couldn’t have arrived with their appetizer at a better moment. She pointed to her drink as he set the dish on the table. “Can I go ahead and order another?”
* * * * * * * * * *
“Why didn’t you go get dinner with Kenny and the Bucks?”
Alex took a sip of her water as she sat next to Adam at the hotel bar. Filming had wrapped not that long ago, and while Alex had come back to the hotel with the boys, Kenny had gone with Matt and Nick to grab a late dinner. Alex had hoped that maybe—maybe—Adam would go with them; but her hopes had been dashed when he’d texted her asking if she wanted to get a drink. She’d agreed to meet him, but she didn’t feel like drinking tonight.
“Please,” Adam scoffed. “They didn’t ask me.” He swirled his whiskey and took a sip. He gave her a sarcastic look as he set the glass back down. “Why didn’t you go with them?”
She pursed her lips. “Really?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. You two seemed pretty cozy when he took you to the trainer after your match.”
Alex’s cheeks burned and she shifted in her seat. Kenny had stayed with her in the trainer’s room the entire time, holding her hand as it was determined that she’d—thankfully—only suffered a bad sprain. She’d be out of action for two-to-four weeks, but it could have been a lot worse. Afterward, he’d kissed her and told her he was glad she was alright. She hadn’t said anything, choosing instead to kiss him back deeper. But she didn’t have to tell Adam that.
“He was there for me,” she said. “And I appreciated it.”
“Didn’t you say Cash wanted to talk to you after the show?”
Alex blinked, caught off-guard by the sudden interrogation. “Yeah, but he left the arena after he and Dax attacked Ricky Morton and didn’t even say anything to me.”
His eyes hardened when she said that. “I can’t believe they fucking did that.”
Alex frowned. “I know,” she agreed. But she didn’t want to go down that road, so she took another sip of water and changed the subject. “Have you talked to Callie?”
Adam shook his head. “Nope.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged. “I don’t think I want to.” He downed the rest of his whiskey and set the glass on the bar. He glanced at her as he signaled the bartender for another drink. “You sure you don’t want a drink?”
Alex put a hand on his arm. The muscle tensed underneath her touch. “Adam,” she said, urging him to look at her. But he kept his eyes fixed on the empty glass in front of him. “Don’t throw out what you have with Callie.”
The bartender swapped out the empty glass for a full one, but Adam didn’t reach for it. He looked down at her hand on his bicep. He reached across and placed his hand on top of hers. “Alex…”
But Alex’s attention was suddenly drawn to the lobby. “What the fuck?”
Adam’s brow furrowed and he turned to look where she stared. Callie and Cash crossed through the lobby—and judging from the carefree looks on their faces, they’d been drinking. Adam and Alex watched as Cash put his hand on Callie’s back, and then they disappeared out of sight toward the elevators.
Adam turned around to face forward again, his eyebrows high on his forehead. “What the fuck,” he repeated. He grabbed his whiskey and took a long drink.
Alex laughed wryly to herself. She wanted to believe it wasn’t what they thought it was. But she didn’t know what to believe anymore. “Yeah… I’ll take that drink now.”
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and we'd both stay out until the morning light
realizing i never posted this to tumblr. oops. ~vaguely~ inspired by 1973 by james blunt, an absolutely bitchin song i must say. and this piece was for miss helen aka @calumcest‘s bday approx one week and change ago. i went off a lil about my love and appreciation for her and our friendship in the ao3 a/n but the gist of it all is that helen is so so full of love and light and beautiful beautiful words and i’m so stupid thankful that this mess of a world brought us together. helen, if u see this, i love you to absolute pieces and i hope u are well x
you can find this here on ao3 if you wanna read there
Michael doesn’t consider himself to be great at much. He’s young, and making mistakes and having to try again is still his standard. He kind of likes that, though. He likes that his practicality in most things is seen as maturity and not a necessary default setting. He likes how his mom is proud when he learns how to cook a new vegetable or how to get a stain out of something. But he’s also comforted by the idea that it’s not irresponsible (or too much so, at least) when he throws caution to the wind and goes on some wild adventure with his friends or on his own. That it’s okay if he doesn’t know the word for something or has to google how to fill out a form because he’s still learning. Michael likes observing, learning about how he should be moving about the world.
That evening, something in the air feels electric. What exactly it is, Michael isn’t really sure, but it has him buzzing with anticipation for something. There’s a humming in the air around his apartment weaving around him like a ribbon but it’s moving too fast for him to latch onto. But for some reason, he doesn’t find it unsettling. He’s finishing up the dishes from dinner when the soft music playing from the speaker in his kitchen is interrupted with his ringtone.
He wipes his wet hands off before reaching into his back pocket. The screen shows a familiar picture, one always guaranteed to bring a smile to his face. He swipes his thumb across the glass and hits the speaker button. “Hi, Calum.”
“Come out with me tonight.”
His smile widens as he sets the phone on the island behind him so he can return to his drying rack. “Are we celebrating something?”
“Just being young and alive and in this gorgeous place and in love.” He can hear a dreamy tone to Calum’s words, evidence that he’s already begun a solo pregame.
“All about the dramatics tonight, are we?”
Calum huffs in a mock frustration. “We can’t let this place eat us alive, Mikey. Come out and dance with me.”
Michael sighs with a smile still pulling at his lips. He can practically hear the twinkle in Calum’s eyes that he tends to get when batting his eyes at Michael as he begs him to live a little. He thinks of the lunch he’s meant to attend with his advisor the following afternoon, of the novel and glass of wine sitting on his coffee table that he had set out for his quiet Saturday night in. But then he hears a quiet please, babe? across the line and rolls his eyes affectionately while placing the measuring cups back into their drawer.
Maybe he’s meant to go on an adventure tonight. To observe, to see something new.
“I’ll be at yours in half an hour.”
*
Michael has never really liked clubs. He’s always found the environment to be one that bounces his brain between a place of numbness and overstimulation like his mind is a ping-pong ball. The duality of cocktails filled to the brim with liquor but also sugar only heightens the feeling. He prefers bright lights and sounds in a more controlled environment, like his computer screen or a movie theatre.
But Michael really likes Calum. And Calum likes clubs. So it’s fairly often that he finds himself with some brightly-colored drink in one hand and Calum grasping his other as he gets dragged through one of the night clubs near Calum’s new place.
The electric feeling in the air shifts with Michael’s change in setting. As Calum pulls him across the dance floor toward the bar for another drink, he senses it again, but in a different tone than he had felt in his apartment. Now it’s the beams of light passing between each of the bright, flashing bulbs high above their heads. It’s the energy swerving between the chattering, glittery people at the bar and the bass pumping below his feet. It’s Calum’s breathy laugh in his ear and the touch of his lips against Michael’s neck as he asks him if he wants something new to hold in his free hand.
Calum jumps up onto a stool at the bar as they wait for their next round and he pulls Michael to stand between his legs, his arms thrown lazily around his neck as he babbles through some story about some band that came into the studio that day. Michael loves watching Calum tell a story, his expressions adding their own layer of humor to the tale as Michael catches the rolling or widening of his eyes between flashes of colored light. Soon enough a couple more glasses are placed in front of them and Calum is reaching into his pocket for a few bills to pass back to the bartender before sliding down to the floor and pulling Michael back into the crowd.
Neither of them can dance to save their lives but that never stops Calum. He bounces around as Michael laughs and copies the movement. The liquid in their cups threatens to slosh to the floor or onto their shirts with each incredibly ungraceful swing of their hips.
“How is it,” Calum says between pants into Michael’s ear while wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him close, “that we’re out nearly every weekend and we still look like dads trying to dance every time we get out here?”
Michael shakes his head, the liquor in his cup starting to take its effects as he giggles against Calum’s cheek. “We’re musicians. One day when we make it big we’ll be too busy playing our instruments on stage to dance around. It would be a waste of time to learn to move any different than this.”
Calum’s smile shines bright through a laugh as he spins them around following Michael’s comment. “God, what are we going to do when our friends start getting married? We’ll be a disaster.” He pauses to take a sip of the concoction he’s ordered most recently. “Luke and Ashton are probably gonna threaten to kick us out if we move from our seats at their reception some day.”
“That’s how we’ll convince Ashton’s cheap ass to get the open bar. We’re far more agreeable when drunk.”
“Cheers to that.” Calum mockingly raises his cup and knocks it against Michael’s.
The song changes then, the volume of the crowd rising with the song as the familiarity hits everyone’s ears and minds. Calum’s face bursts into a grin and his arms tighten around Michael’s neck to pull him closer to his chest. “Mm, love this song.” Calum pauses to sing along to the chorus. “Think I love you also.”
Michael blinks his eyes open, not having realized that they were closed. He watches light bounce around them and a drunken blush paint across Calum’s cheeks and nose. He’s had too much to drink to think too hard about it but really he’s never not questioning how he got so lucky. He lets his lips press against Calum’s nose, the rosiness in his own cheeks surely spreading when he catches Calum’s giggle through the music. “Love you too, Cal.”
They dance and sing for what feels like both hours and seconds. The mix of light and sound and those damn cocktails Calum keeps buying make Michael feel light like the confetti that starts flying around the room at some point in the night. He lost track of the number of nights they’ve had like this a long time ago, the center of glittering, happy chaos being a place Calum loves to frequent. He’d follow Calum anywhere, including to a mindless and seemingly pointless celebration like tonight. Michael knows he’ll go anywhere so long as he gets to keep watching the way Calum’s eyes and smile sparkle when even the faintest light hits his face.
He’s watching it then, practically being blinded by it all, he thinks, when Calum catches Michael’s hand and pulls him back in for another dance.
*
They end up at the beach.
Their phones died ages ago but as the sun just barely begins to peek out from the ocean horizon, Michael figures it’s around 6am. They’re both still giggling and blushing at each other like mad as they strip off their socks and shoes and stumble toward the ocean. Michael isn’t even sure what he’s drunk off of anymore but whether it's Calum or the cocktails, he doesn’t really seem to care.
Calum gasps at the temperature of the water as they let the little waves crash against their ankles, and he shuffles closer to Michael. He leans into Michael’s shoulder, lips pressing gently against his neck as Michael wraps an arm around his waist.
The morning sunlight is just barely beginning to ripple over the dark water as they stand in silence, their breaths just barely audible over the waves. Normally seeing the ocean without the sun high up in the sky scares the hell out of Michael; hell, the ocean in general usually frightens him. It’s so unknown, and Michael doesn’t like being so close to something so vast and mysterious. It’s why he can’t think about space too hard most of the time either. He feels safe, though, and secure, standing there with Calum. He’s always wondering if it’s too early to think that way about the boy standing pressed against his side.
Eventually Calum lifts his head and grabs Michael’s hand, weaving their fingers together as he walks them back from the water just a bit before planting himself in the sand. “We’re watching the sunrise from here,” Calum explains to Michael’s confused eyes. Michael nods his understanding and drops down beside him.
“This city scares the hell out of me sometimes,” Calum says with a sigh, his fingers still dancing with Michael’s. “Like it always feels like I’m doing too much and not enough all at the same time. And then I get so stuck on figuring that out that I do nothing. There’s so many creatives here that the air feels like it’s filled with thoughts and ideas and dreams all the time. It’s so damn loud, you know?”
Michael nods, though the way Calum speaks he can’t really tell if he’s actually speaking to him or not. He considers asking but then Calum starts up speaking again, his crinkling eyes still facing out toward the water.
“But then I come here and it’s like the tide kind of pulls all of that away. This is the only place where LA gets quiet, I think. It’s why I like to come out here.”
Michael sticks his legs out in front of him and digs his bare feet into the sand as he ponders how to respond to Calum. “I get what you mean,” he starts as he drops his free hand against the cool sand and draws swirls with his finger. “I think this is the first time I haven’t been surrounded by people in a while.”
Calum’s head drops to Michael’s shoulder again and turns away from the water as he nestles his face into his neck. “Mali suggested coming out here after I’d had a bad day at the studio and you and the guys were all busy or something. Said it was her favorite place to gather up her own thoughts when she was trying out living here.”
As he drops Calum’s hand to let his hand reach up to tangle with the dark curls at the back of his neck, Michael lets the importance of this place, of Calum bringing him here settle over them. There are very few things that Calum keeps to himself, this spot apparently having been one until that morning. “Thank you for sharing this place with me. It’s a beautiful spot.”
He feels Calum shake his head just a little, his arm moving to wrap around Michael’s waist as his fingers play with the hem of his shirt. “Of course. I wanna share everything with you.”
The electric buzz Michael has felt around him the whole night settles with him and Calum out on the beach. Now it skips across the gentle waves that grow bluer with each passing minute as the sun rises. It blinks with the light from the street lamps back at the road as they go back and forth on whether or not it is time for them to say their daily goodbye as dawn turns to morning. Its final act, Michael senses, is the shock he gets as Calum straightens up and gently lifts his hand to the back of Michael's neck, causing him to turn as brown eyes meet green for just the briefest moment before their eyes flutter shut while their lips meet.
*
“And that’s when I knew that he was my soulmate, ya know?” Michael says, his smile widening as he watches Calum’s eyes sparkle, tears threatening to fall from his dark lashes. “Because we should have been falling over ourselves with exhaustion at that point but I had never felt so awake in my life. I never wanted to sleep again because I never wanted to stop looking at him.”
A single tear does fall, racing down Calum’s cheek, and Michael lifts his hand from Calum’s grasp to gently wipe it away. “Anyway,” he laughs with a sniffle, his eyes pulling from Calum’s to face the room filled with their family and friends. “Thank you all for putting up with my nostalgia and thank you for coming to help us celebrate today. Enjoy the reception.”
The music picks up once people finish their brief clapping and Michael sits down again while he watches people around the room begin to rise and walk in the direction of the cakes and the bar. His eyes follow Luke and Ashton as they wander in the direction of Calum’s parents and sister, presumably to say hello again. Ashton’s eyes briefly meet his own and Michael laughs quietly as he watches Ashton’s left eye drop into a wink. They share the look for only a moment because then Luke is dragging him along and a hand dropping to Michael’s thigh pulls him back.
“I really liked that night,” Calum mumbles against Michael’s neck, his lips pressing just below his ear. “Liked hearing you tell the story of it even more.”
Michael can’t help his laughter as a smile pulls at his cheeks. “Listen, there are very few stories of nights out that I can tell in front of our parents. Had to go digging through my journals to really settle on one.”
“You were journaling about me already back in the day? That’s so sweet.”
“Back in the day?” Michael questions as he sits up to meet his husband’s (the thought of the word alone bringing butterflies swarming into his stomach) eyes. “That was like four years ago, Cal. We’re too young for anything to be ‘back in the day’ yet.”
Calum’s face softens at his words, his hand lifting from Michael’s lap to cup his cheek, his thumb running across his cheekbone. “I can’t wait to grow old with you.”
He lets out a sigh while Michael blushes at him in response to the declaration. Calum leans forward to brush their lips together before rising, his empty glass in hand in need of a refill. Michael watches him wander through the crowd, shaking hands and exchanging smiles and kind words with every guest he passes while approaching the bar. None of it feels real yet, Michael thinks. Though it’s been less than two hours since they said I do so he figures he’s allowed a little longer to just be in awe of the fact that he’s got someone to spend the rest of forever traipsing through life with and that that someone is Calum.
And Michael still doesn’t consider himself to be great at much. He’s still young and can’t hold his liquor and can only really cook maybe three vegetables. But Michael is great at loving Calum and being loved by Calum. And maybe, for now, that’s enough. Michael finds himself thinking on that as he takes another sip from his own glass and gazes out to where Calum stands speaking to a friend and their partner. His cheeks warm as the three of them turn to look at him, a fond look resting against Calum’s face as their eyes meet. The ring on his left hand glitters in the light as he lifts it to gesture for Michael to join him.
Yeah, this is definitely enough.
*
#malum#malum fic#sorry im posting this so late oh my god#i am a dummy but im real proud of this lil piece so i am taking the time to post this here as well while a bit drunk#so
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chance encounters | part iii: what i mean when i say
Summary: Between pages of meddling friends and societal expectations, all she actually wants is to find a happily ever after with Doyoung, even if it feels like that is no longer possible.
part i x part ii x part iii x part iv x part v x part vi
word count: 4k
GIF originally posted by @lukhei
Haewon’s day starts briefly like this – a backache verging on cataclysmic, a phone that is ringing off the hook and a thunderous sizzle from the kitchen that could be an auditory representation of Johnny cooking up a storm for no particular reason on a Saturday morning.
“Johnny Suh, you know you’re not allowed to touch the kitchen as long as I am in the house.” She gripes as she walks out of her bedroom upon washing up.
“It’s my house,” Johnny argues, just as he places a fork and knife on either side of the dish he has prepared for her. “And - you’re welcome. Johnny’s homemade blueberry pancakes.”
“Please, you should be thanking me,” she says, sliding all her hair across one shoulder and digging into the pancakes. “Plus, what if I wanted waffles? That would void your compensation.”
“I can make you waffles later if you want,” Johnny winks. “Although, we can argue that pancakes really don’t deserve such discrimination if waffles aren’t accorded the same breakfast ghettoization - they’re practically made of the same ingredients.”
Haewon studies him with narrowed eyes. “That good, huh?”
“Whaddya mean?” Johnny’s expression turns sheepish.
“Ghettoization?” She returns the question, moving her hair behind her shoulder and smirking, “you’re rambling, it’s written all over your face, you sad sad man-child.”
He jauntily sits himself on the chair in front of her, the grin on his face too pleased to be contrite. “It was good.”
“We really ought to soundproof your room, she literally woke me up-”
The lady in question chooses this opportune moment to make her presence known, sauntering up to Haewon and Johnny as she buckles her watch to her wrist. Haewon’s head whips towards Johnny with glaring eyes, while Johnny discreetly mouths an apology back to her. They had laid down the quintessential rule (the rule that makes all ground rules obsolete) when Haewon had moved in in early 2017 - staying over’s only okay after the fifth date; if you want to have a one-night stand, book yourself a hotel. This is Johnny’s second infraction of the year (not that Haewon is counting, she has too much of a life for that). She hears Johnny’s date of four times stop short in front of them.
“Youngho-ah, who’s this lady and what’s she doing eating your pancakes in her underwear?”
Haewon drops her gaze onto herself as Johnny stands to give the accuser a kiss on the temple. It’s clearly just a camisole that’s in question, though given what Johnny’s lover is planning to wear out of the apartment, it’s sort of audacious of her to bring this up when she’s really giving Haewon a run for her money.
“This is Haewon, baby, my roommate. I grew up with her back in the U.S.”
“Ah,” Said lover reaches her hand out to shake Haewon’s in an oddly formal manner, her coffin nails digging slightly into the back of her hand. Haewon guesses the sigh that emits from her lips right after she studies her has more to do with relief than recognition.
Shrugging internally, Haewon sits back down to finish her breakfast as she hears Johnny and his partner-she-can’t-give-a-name-to-‘cause-Johnny-said-no-labels kiss noisily and bid goodbye, as she eyes said partner’s figure. Yeap, Johnny’s definitely a titties man.
“It was a crime of passion, your honor!” Johnny dramatically pleads once the door shuts as Haewon shakes her head vigorously and mutters, “that’s not how you use it”.
“You’re cleaning the apartment the whole of next month,” Haewon insists, before her eyes widen as a thought flits into her head, “oh my God, you guys didn’t do it on the couch, did you-”
“Of course not! I’m not an animal!” Johnny pretends to be scandalized, “and, come on. It was 2am. I couldn’t kick her out of bed - what can I say, I’m a gentleman. A modern romantic.”
“I think you catastrophically misinterpret the word ‘romantic’.”
Despite the inflection, Johnny is, one-hundred percent, a hopeless romantic - something Haewon quickly learnt after witnessing the poor man get dumped over the phone a while after she had relocated to Seoul. Johnny believes in the concept of soulmates, the proverbial ‘one’, and an ancient concept that most people would currently refer to as ‘destiny’. The manifestation of his soulmate pursuit is countless dates and relationships, grandiose expressions of love and a penchant for serenading his lovers with roses from their windows - a gesture not every Korean woman appreciates especially at 11pm on a Thursday night.
“I think I’m gonna marry her, Haewon,” Johnny tells her now, with a sparkle in his eye, “I think she's the one.”
Haewon looks at him disbelievingly. “You’ve been on four dates, John.”
“I know, but it feels so right, you know?” He smiles softly in a moment of clairvoyance, standing up to clear their plates. “Speaking of marrying someone, isn’t there something you need to do on Monday?”
Haewon rolls her eyes. Subtlety has never been his strong suit.
There’s a reason Johnny has been calling Monday D-day for the past week, and repeatedly using phrases that border on annoying such as ‘it’s go time’ and ‘let’s get it’. Monday would mark the return of a highly anticipated Kim Doyoung, and Johnny is adamant that Haewon should tell Doyoung, especially since Inhee has not confessed about what she's done.
“Isn’t it possible that she might want to tell him face-to-face?”
“If it was me,” Johnny straddles the chair in mock confrontation, balancing his arms on the seat. “If this was me, would you be saying something so naïve?”
“But it’s not you-”
“If the conditions were the same, but it was me instead of Doyoung, you know you would tell me in a heartbeat. And I would appreciate it, Haewon, just as he would.”
“You’re not doing this for yourself,” he looks at Haewon with a seriousness that silences her. “Don’t beat yourself up over something you have no reason to. You’re doing it for Doyoung.”
“The moment he reaches work, you march into his office, and you tell him truthfully what you saw. No one can accuse you of anything when you’re just being truthful.”
There’s a sign on the wall at the far right corner of the office that says “There’s no room for losers”. It’s a signature Fulworth saying, especially when things get tough at work.
Haewon has never felt particularly perturbed by it until now. She can almost hear the enunciation of the word ‘losers’ in his low, gruff voice.
Unlike Johnny’s prediction, Haewon’s will isn’t the only thing stopping her from talking to Doyoung about his fiancée when Monday comes. The issue turns out to be a lot less 1980s-movie-dramatic than they had expected – a case of timing.
Doyoung has been in and out of meetings since he entered the office after lunch.
It’s not even like Haewon has been systematically avoiding him. Doyoung barely had a chance to say hi to her and update her about the situation at Bertsman when he had been whisked away by a very anxious Lee Donghyuck, who had been held in trepidation for the last two weeks due to the declining sales figures. Haewon had laughed, gotten back to the copy she had been working on for Cho Young Jun’s book press release, her stomach lurching at the thought of what she had to do later.
There's no room for losers, the neat cursive print stares back at her from the wall.
It’s only hours later, when the sky has turned pitch black and the hour hand on the clock has pointed to ten, that Haewon begrudgingly creaked her joints into motion as she made her way to the Managing Editor’s office, cursing Johnny and all that he stood for as a person.
“Haewon!” Doyoung’s lips breaks into a smile and stands up suddenly, with only the harsh light from the desk lamp illuminating his face. “I thought I told you to leave at six, I don’t even know when I can leave the office…”
“Doyoung works late every night. We hardly spend much time in the same room anymore. We don’t even talk anymore, about our lives and our work.”
“Boss, you just got back late last night. You should rest.” She tries, “and, well, your fiancée might be waiting up…”
“It’s okay, Inhee understands,” Doyoung laughs, “besides, I sort of have to undo literally everything the Bertsman employees have done. That’s what I’ve been saying, you can’t trust any one of their employees, they don’t do things the way we do,” he smirks.
Haewon smiles softly at him, even if he cannot see, his eyes trailing after the lines on the paper in front of him.
“Ah, but what can I do? I’m just a worker ant.” He flops his arms around, as if mimicking an actual worker ant.
This action doesn’t bring Haewon laughter as she had expected. Instead, her heart feels like it’s been wrung, the sudden tightening in her chest inexplicable. She doesn’t know if it’s a biological reaction, but tears have started to fill her eyes, and there seems to be nothing else she can do but blink them back.
This is the Doyoung that Haewon has fallen in love with, all five foot ten of him, gummy smile and square shoulders, a kind boss and a workaholic - but how real her feelings are doesn’t and cannot negate how ill-placed the same feelings are in their situation. Here he is, looking at her, grinning at her, as her vision blurs. In that moment, she swears she hears something in her break; a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower’s stem.
“Oh by the way, you really need to get back to me on the wedding,” he laughs breathily, “I really need that RSVP-”
“I can’t go.” The words leave her before she realizes, breath seeming to return to her lungs temporarily. “I… I can’t attend your wedding.”
His face falls.
“Oh, you have something that day?” His smile doesn’t reach his eyes.
“No, I…” She looks down, licking her lips and inhaling shakily. “I can't attend your wedding, because…”
“Haewon.”
“Because… Because I like you.”
She hears more than sees his reaction, the pen in his hand slipping through his fingers and thudding gently onto the carpeted floor. “Haewon.”
“Because I like you,” her voice is still shaky, but there’s a part of her that’s calmer than ever before. “I can’t attend your wedding.”
She lifts her gaze to meet his, but Doyoung’s expression remains unreadable. She feels her jaw start to quiver, and clenches down on it.
“I like you, Doyoung. I like you so much that I can’t sleep, can’t think. I like you, I want to be with you, but you know what I also want?” She lets out a shaky breath, “I want you to be happy…”
It’s not like a leaky faucet, or a dam breaking. Instead, it’s like the little Dutch boy had pulled his finger out of her chest, because suddenly everything inside her is spilling out at once.
“But I see you everyday,” she shuts her eyes, and the tears flow at their will, “I don’t… know… what to do. Believe me, if I could will these feelings away, I would. I don’t want to feel so pathetic, I don’t want to like you like this.
“But I’ve also realized that I can’t be that… person, who stands on the sidelines and watches as you marry someone else - I can’t, I couldn’t do that to myself. I’m sorry. This is so out of line and you probably don’t want to hear this.” She inhales shakily, shutting her eyes as she pauses. “I’m sorry for telling you this… I just… I just needed you to know.”
Doyoung looks at her as if in a daze, his own lips quivering, until almost immediately, his head falls and he inhales sharply, as if giant invisible scissors had cut off his marionette strings.
“Why… Why now.”
Her eyes widen. “What do you-”
“Why are you telling me this, Haewon?” Doyoung looks at her like she’s missing a point, like she’s the most breakable thing in the world. “What am I supposed to do with this?”
Her eyes sting with fresh tears. She can feel something rising in her throat - a sob, a scream - but she bites it back, shutting her eyes so tightly there are almost tears that refuse to escape. She hates herself for crying, for showing any weakness here, for thinking she ever had a shot with someone like him.
There's no room for losers, but in that moment, she can’t help but feel like she has become one.
It’s Friday, finally the end of the week.
She softly clicks the pen in her hand open and close, drifting in and out as Huang Renjun drones on and on about the press kits they are planning to prepare for the media and why the Marketing Department needed more of the budget to be allocated to them.
This meeting has lasted way too long, and it feels even longer with Doyoung right next to her, the sleeve of his jacket inches away from hers. He's scribbling down notes diligently, making her existence in the meeting obsolete - it’s been like this the whole week, and Haewon is exhausted. She knows what Doyoung is doing, how he’s taking meeting minutes down like someone who doesn’t have an assistant so he doesn’t have to ask her for them later. Despite the promise of putting what happened behind them on Monday, she’s entirely aware that things will never be the same again.
The envelope sitting in her bag is still warm, its contents only freshly printed this morning. She vaguely hears Kim Jungwoo asking a question before all eyes are suddenly turned towards her.
All, but Doyoung's.
She looks around the room, befuddled, while feeling Yuta’s foot nudge hers gently, presumably to get her to speak.
“I’m so sorry,” she finally says.
“Manager Kim asked if you had too much on your plate,” the timid intern next to Kim Jungwoo speaks up, “and if you were willing to undertake more of the comms with Cho Young Jun himself.”
She opens her mouth, surprised, and turns to Kim Jungwoo.
“As we were saying, before you spaced out on us,” he laughs good-naturedly, “we let him read the copy you wrote and he likes it. He specified that he wants to work with you.”
Haewon’s gaze drops to her notebook, where a messily scrawled question blinks back at her. Today or next week? She blinks, momentarily realizing that the decision presented to her now accounted for more in the future than she had thought.
“I… That would be a great opportunity for me, thank you.”
Kim Jungwoo grins. “Don’t thank me, your boss told the boy that you were highly supportive of his work. Of course he would be excited to work with you.”
She turns towards Doyoung, a wide-eyed Doyoung, a Doyoung who only looks back at her now, his eyes not betraying any emotion.
There’s something about placing the envelope on his desk that makes it so official, a breath of fresh air that comes from a gesture that’s so unabashedly melodramatic and passé. Doyoung eyes the envelope warily, clearly this was not something he had imagined.
“Why is it… addressed to me? Why isn’t it in an email?” Doyoung drops his glasses onto his desk, pressing his fingers gently against his eyelids. “Why… What is this, Haewon?”
“I just…” She licks her lips. “I just wanted to make sure you received it, is all.”
Doyoung looks at her for a moment, then gets up and shuts the door of his office, before clicking on the button below his desk, rendering the glass office translucent.
“Tell me, Haewon, what is this about? Is it because of Monday?”
She winces, remembering the state of mess she had reduced herself to that night. The only thing more pathetic than confessing to someone who’s engaged, is confessing to someone who’s engaged while crying.
“No, boss, of course not. I thought we agreed to put it behind us.”
“I thought we did too,” he says, sighing and standing with his hands on his waist. “Then what’s this about? I mean, do you want… a raise? What can I-”
“No no no, please don’t think that way. I applied for a Literary Arts Masters’ at Brown University,” Doyoung’s remains bewildered. “I want to be a writer, and, I want to study for it.”
Doyoung inhales shakily. “I mean, I know you wanted to write, but… You should have told me about this. I would’ve written you a letter of recommendation…”
“Well I got in,” she shrugs and smiles, “and… I want to do it. I’ll be admitted in the fall, so I’m moving soon.”
It’s almost like she can see the gears shifting in Doyoung’s head, the mental calculations as apparent. “Is that what you wanted to tell me on Monday? When you came into my office, is that the, well,” he licks his lips, “more technical reason why you can’t come to my wedding?”
Not entirely, she thinks. “Well, it’s one of them.”
Doyoung settles himself back into his chair, absentmindedly rearranging the stationery on his desk. “I don’t want a new assistant.”
Her heart sinks. “I know you’re stressed. I’m sorry, and… this feels irresponsible, that I didn’t tell you this earlier. Thing is, I didn’t really believe I would get in, and I got my letter so late, so now I only have the next three months…” She pauses, realizing that none of this should be important in the discussion. “That’s why I’m giving you a month’s notice instead of the required two weeks, I’m sorry that this is what I can only leave you with, but I want to help as much as I can. I swear, boss, I’ll get handovers done as best as I can, whether the recruitment is internal or external, I’ll make sure the transition is as smooth as possible for you-”
“No, I mean…” Doyoung stands up, the pinstripes of his suit bouncing against the light as he does, and walks slowly towards Haewon, standing right in front of her.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
If there's anything she'll miss, it's how Doyoung always leaves her breathless. The sincerity in his eyes twinkling like unshed tears, the way he just looks softly at her like this, his lips pursed tightly and making the small, almost unnoticeable scar by the corner of his lips more prominent. This is the Doyoung that makes her heart soar, an unspoken tenderness dancing across his features. But with this Doyoung also comes an unmistakable truth glaring right back at her.
“No one is irreplaceable, Doyoung,” she starts, a lump rising in her throat, “especially not me. And I think it’s clear that this week has proven that we are no longer able to work together properly because of my feelings and the awkwardness that it has caused.”
“I was trying to give you space-”
“I don’t need space, Doyoung!”
“What was I supposed to say? What am I supposed to say, Haewon? I’m engaged!”
He looks at her for a long time, then sighs and turns away exasperatedly, tears darting in his eyes.
And there it is - the bubble that has popped, the pink elephant in the room. Because the truth is, from start to finish, as selfish and morally repugnant as it is, Haewon had foolishly hoped for a future with this man somehow in some way, even when it had never been possible.
“You’re right,” Haewon feels her eyes sting, but she has promised herself that she is not going to cry in front of Doyoung ever again. They aren’t close enough for that.
“No, you’re right, I’m sorry, I don't know what I was expecting, why I said what I said.” She shakes her head, attempting to breathe again.
“Besides, your engagement isn’t the only thing standing in the way of anything happening between us.”
Doyoung looks up immediately. “What do you mean by that?”
Haewon winces and swallows, unwilling to spell it out. “I mean, you don’t… feel the same way, at all.”
There comes a point when things are undeniable and can't be hidden any longer, even from yourself.
“I never should have told you about it,” her voice comes out as a whisper this time, unintentionally intimate.
“I’m sorry - even with everything that I said that day, it only occurred to me after, how truly stupid and inappropriate it was… in the office, no less.” Doyoung begins to shake his head, but she continues. “I don't have an excuse for it, I’m sorry - but I swear I’m not… for the lack of a better word, punishing you or anyone else with my resignation. Even before telling you, I was bent on moving overseas for the degree. So Doyoung, you really don’t have to feel guilty or anything - you don’t owe me anything, I shouldn’t have said anything.
“At the same time… The chance for me to pursue my dream is too rare to give up on.
“You’ve done so well before I came into your life, you’re gonna be okay.”
Doyoung averts his gaze away once again, putting his hands into his pockets, and alternating between resting his weight on his left and right foot.
“You’re wrong, you know, you’ve never been more wrong.”
“I’m sorry?”
He finally looks up, his eyes filled with sadness enough to keep Haewon from taking a step out of his office. Outside, phones are ringing and people are talking, noisy and continuous and completely unaware. But here, there is a Doyoung who looks at her like she could break easily, as he contemplates whether or not the next words have to be said, if at all.
“You said no one is irreplaceable, but you’re irreplaceable to me.”
It’s finally down to the last week of her work - and a part of Haewon feels guilty to admit that it is a relief.
This is what Doyoung and Haewon has been reduced to - two people who would rather send each other emails than talk face-to-face, even if it’s about work. On the bright side - if there is one - the diminished duties mean that Haewon has been given ample time to interview, recruit and train Doyoung’s new assistant - a dogged 25-year-old fresh graduate with a double major in Journalism and Communications who has an unhealthy obsession with cars, whom the younger estrogen-infused female interns label “daddy material”.
“Ready?” Johnny smiles as he shoves his keys in his pants pocket.
She slides her bag across her shoulder and looks at him up and down. “Johnny, you’re not ready.”
“Oh right! Shit,” Johnny mumbles to himself, rushing to his room to get his shirt.
It’s 8.25am, which means that Johnny’s definitely going to be late, since he’ll drop Haewon off at her office first, but Johnny doesn’t really seem to care. She laughs to herself, picking up her phone just as a message notification chimes.
Haewon, I’m so sorry I can’t tell you this myself, but I will be on personal leave for the entire week. I know you’re mostly done with handovers and training Jeno, but I’ll need you to hold the fort for this last week - just check your email, you’ll understand everything. I’m so sorry I can’t be here for your last week. Thank you.
Personal leave? What kind of emergency would-
“Haewon!” Johnny jogs out of his room, his phone and shirt in his hands. “Did you know?”
His eyes are wide with shock, his mouth open. He swallows, taking in Haewon’s equally baffled expression.
“I just got a call from my Mom. The wedding’s off…”
xx
w/n: dear friends, please do not zone out in meetings. it doth not helpeth thee.
also, johnny is a giant teddy bear
come scream at me!! here :-)
#nct#doyoung#kim doyoung#johnny#johnny suh#chance encounters#my work#nct imagines#doyoung imagines#johnny imagines#nct scenarios#doyoung scenarios#johnny scenarios#nct fanfiction#doyoung fanfiction#johnny fanfiction#nct au#doyoung au#doyoung angst#johnny angst
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missing linc // chapter four
series masterlist
pairing: ceo!dad!steve x reader
word count: 2800
chapter summary: reader doesn’t hear from steve ever since the phone call until he gets drunk one night and decides to come forth about his feelings.
taglist: @viarogers , @evanstush , @chibi-crazy , @chalamet-evans , @world-of-losers , @songforhema, @sebabestianstan101 , @tanyam93 , @bval-1, @wonderwinchester , @little-miss-exo, @poerebel , @pining-and-tired , @gogomez-509 , @patzammit, @a-distantdreamer, @malthestorytellerblog, @rainbowkisses31, @jbug491writinghelp, @quaiderade, @melannie77, @gigistorm, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @firstangeldragonranch, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @honeyloverogers, @capsiclesdoll, @qrndevans, @mcueveryday, @drkstrangeson, @bangtan-serendipity, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyiamthatbitch, @captainscanadian, @kaithezaftig, @morganhoran1671, @booktease21, @hista-girl, @steeeeverogers, @okilover02, @collete04, @sadella-adams, @rumoured-whispers, @aletteredaffair, @shannon124, @isawritesstories, @knuffeltuff, @wxntersoldiers, @kelbabyblue, @macgruberrr, @troublermalik, @deepmuffinspymaker, @societalfailure, @brastrangled, @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall, @anxiousstark, @captainsbxbygirl, @barbar126
notes: it’s finally here! i’m posting this in a bit of a rush, i’ve got a million things to do today and a 4 hour drive to look forward to... i’m also gonna tell you guys now that ch 5 might take a few days more than usual, i’m still thinking about which direction i want to take this story and i would rather take my time than have it be rushed!
** concerning the taglist: i’m super duper touched n happy that so many people are requesting to be added, but i will say that it is a LOT of work to go through and tag each one of you. unfortunately copy pasting does not work with tumblr notifs for some reason. and so if i’m starting to notice people who are on this taglist and not interacting with this fic (liking, replying, reblogging, etc.) i will start removing those people. but thank you so much to the ones who do interact, it means the world to me!
“Are you fucking kidding me, Tiana? You knew she was coming over, and you really thought having your boyfriend’s tongue shoved down your throat in front of the biggest fucking window of my house was a good idea?”
“She came thirty minutes early, Steve! How could I have known? David had been right about to leave just so it wouldn’t cause any problems when she came!”
“Well it fucking did. How did you even cover that up, anyways?”
“I just told her he was over for work. At the time, I didn’t know she saw me, okay? Steve, you need to fix this.”
The businessman scoffed, running a hand through his hair in frustration as he paced the empty conference room back and forth. “This is not my thing to fix, Tiana, this is all you. If it were up to me and if you actually listened to me, there wouldn’t have even been anything to hide. You and David could be fucking like goddamn rabbits in your own fucking front yard if you wanted to, if you had just been willing to get a fucking divorce.”
There was silence on the phone, and Steve knew she was starting to cry. He knew her too well by now, he did not even need to hear any choked sobs or sniffs. They had been together since they were twenty-five, after all; as much as neither of them wanted to know the other inside and out, they did.
“How does this not hurt you at all, Steve? How are you just-- how are you so fucking okay with me sleeping with another guy? You don’t even want to fight for me?”
“Don’t start this conversation again, Tiana.”
“I need to fucking know! What suddenly became so fucking unattractive about me that you didn’t want to be with me anymore? That you decided you didn’t love me anymore, after being together for over ten fucking years?”
“I don’t fucking know what it is, Tiana, I just know the feelings aren’t there anymore!” his voice was practically a roar now, the male completely heated upon having this argument for what felt like the millionth time. “And I know they weren’t for you, either! Yeah, I know I fucked up, but I did it because I could tell you had fallen out of love too, and you know that! And I know, that’s no excuse for what I did. But everything that’s happened since then, that’s all on you, all of this shit happens because you won’t fucking let go already!”
Silence again. This time, he could hear her cry.
“I really fucking hate you, Steve.”
“Then let me go.” His voice returned to its normal low pitch, though he was practically breathless from his rampage. Thank God he had picked one of the more isolated conference rooms, though he couldn’t be positive that the people directly below him or above him hadn’t heard his wrath.
She hung up and he sunk down into one of the office chairs, resting his elbows on the smooth wood surface of the table as he brought his hands to his head, closing his eyes.
It had been about a week since you had last talked to Steve, and you were worried out of your mind. Not that he really had any reason to be talking to you; it wasn’t as though you were best friends, why would he be calling you up to talk about his life and how he was coping with his cheating wife? Still, you had been hoping for at least a text, maybe even an extremely vague update letting you know he was working things out.
Seeing Tiana at the daycare was also incredibly awkward. You figured she knew that you had told Steve, because she seemed a little more stiff around you. You were also a bit confused by her behavior, too. You had expected she would have wanted to explain everything to you immediately, to try and defend herself and make herself seem like she was not the bad guy. Or, at the very least, flip out at you for telling Steve everything. But there was nothing. She said her hellos, goodbyes, a forced smile as she either dropped off or picked up, then left. Perhaps she just did not want you to be further involved, and even you decided that was for the best. Still, you were a bit sad upon realizing that might have been not only the first, but the last time you would ever babysit Linc. You doubted Tiana would ever want you to again. And so you savored your time with him during the days, playing with him and enjoying every ounce of his demeanor that reminded you so much of his father’s.
In a way, it was good that you and Steve were not keeping up communication. You could think about other things, other people. The more you thought about it, you had been far too intrigued by the tycoon, and it was probably for the best that you had some space from him. You felt dumb and naive for having such a huge crush on someone so unattainable, but now you could try to move on. If that was even the term for whatever this was-- it wasn’t as though you had any legitimate relationship to move on from.
Friday night came around, and you were getting ready for a date. A boy from your social psychology class had been interested in you for a while, and when he had reached out to you earlier in the week right after all of the drama with Steve and Tiana to ask how your summer was going, you took it as a sign. And so you had made the first move, asking if he wanted to grab dinner with you sometime.
The date went fairly well-- as well as it could, anyways, after meeting a man like Steve Rogers. Peter was a cute guy, harmless and like a little puppy, but you couldn’t help but realize how much more… mature Steve had been in comparison. Had you screwed yourself over? Were you only into older men now? It wasn’t as though Peter was childish, you had just appreciated how experienced in life Steve was. He seemed so wise even from simple conversation, and the fact that he was such an amazing dad was a plus…
When Peter asked for a second date, you felt far too guilty to agree. How could you if you couldn’t stop thinking about another man? You explained to him that while the date went great and that he was an amazing guy, you were not particularly ready to jump into a relationship and that you did not want to lead him on-- and he completely understood. He asked if the two of you could at least still hang out as friends, and you couldn't help but feel touched and grateful that he was so sweet about the whole situation, immediately agreeing. Like a perfect gentleman, he brought you home and to the doorstep, giving you a hug before watching you go inside and turning to his car.
You went to sleep feeling rather content for the first time all week, hopeful that focusing on this new friendship would help get your mind off of Steve.
You felt the same contentment as last night upon waking up, a determined smile spread across your lips. It was Saturday and you would go out with some friends, have a movie night, do something instead of think of a messed up relationship that wasn’t even yours.
However, once you checked your phone as you still lay in bed, your eyes widened in shock.
Steve: I miss you
You blinked a few times, positive you weren’t dreaming even if that was what it felt like. You checked what time he sent it. 9:12 AM. You looked at the current time. 9:20. Your heart was racing and you felt exactly like you had the week prior, his annoyingly handsome face now taking up your mind. Did he mean to send that to someone else? Perhaps Tiana, maybe they had made up? You were staring at the text message so intently that you hadn’t even noticed there had been speech bubbles underneath it the entire time until another message came in.
Steve: I fjucking miss you. It’s dumb hw much I miss you,
Was he drunk? You didn’t know whether to find this hilarious or concerning, but either way you were definitely confused. Why would he miss you? And why was he drinking at 9 AM? Though the second the question popped into your mind, you realized he was probably still in Manila. Immediately going to the clock app on your phone, you looked up what time it was there. Exactly twelve hours ahead, meaning it was 9 PM for him. Still a bit early to get drunk, you thought to yourself, but maybe that meant he wasn’t doing so well…
Y/N: Do you mean to be sending these to me…?
The speech bubbles appeared almost instantly.
Steve: Well theydre definiely not for my fucking wife.
Steve: Fuck
Steve: Im sorry
Steve: I shoudlnt be doing this.
You frowned, immediately texting back.
Y/N: You’re not okay, are you? You can talk to me it’s okay
Y/N: I want to help, Steve
Y/N: Do you want me to call you?
There were a few moments of torture before the speech bubbles sprung up again.
Steve: Give me aon hour.
You stared at the message, wondering if he would actually call you in an hour or if he would be passed out. You lay on your back, staring up at the ceiling as you processed everything that had just happened.
He missed you. You shouldn’t have felt so ecstatic, but you were.
So much for forgetting about him.
Your phone dinged again and you held it up to your face in seconds. However, it was not Steve.
Peter: Good morning :) I just wanted to say again that I had a really fun night last night! I hope you slept well!
That made you smile, glad that he had the consideration to send a good morning text even after you had told him you would rather remain friends for the time being. You had really gotten lucky with him-- you had certainly had experiences with guys in the past who would react much more bitter.
Y/N: Hi Peter! I did too, and I can’t wait to hang out again soon! Slept like a baby haha
You and Peter texted back and forth for the next forty minutes or so until he had to go, and you actually felt a little better.
You rolled over in bed to attempt to go back to sleep for a bit, mostly doubting Steve’s last text. It was a weekend, anyways, so you might as well catch up on sleep while you could. You had probably been shifting around for about twenty minutes until your phone started ringing. Opening your eyes from your terrible attempt at sleep, you blinked, genuinely shocked. Sure enough, his name was on your screen, and you bit your lip somewhat nervously as you sat up in bed to answer it.
“Hi, Steve,” you spoke softly, your voice slightly shaded with sleep due to not having used it yet. “Are you alright?”
“Hey, Y/N. I am,” he spoke surprisingly coherent, throwing you off. You had expected him to still be a drunken mess. Had he really sobered up in an hour? He definitely did sound tired, though. “I’m.. sorry about those messages from earlier. I hope they didn’t weird you out.”
The complete opposite, really. “No, of course not.” You answered, keeping your more honest thoughts to yourself. “I guess I was just… confused.” He sighed deeply and you could hear the rustling of sheets. Was he getting into bed? You hoped so, he sounded like he needed sleep. “Yeah, as you should be. Hell, I am too. I mean, I barely even know you, and all I can think about is how I want to.” You felt your heart skip a beat, a blush traveling over your cheeks. “Really?” was all you could manage, almost convinced this had to be a dream. However, you made yourself snap out of it; you were still certainly welcome to this, but you wanted to be as rational as possible. “Steve, is this just because of…”
“No.” He cut you off and he sighed again, silent for a few moments before speaking lowly. “Tiana and I, we have a complicated relationship. We have for years now.” You noticed that his answers seemed slightly short; you were waiting for further explanation, but there was none. You weren’t sure if you should inquire further-- was he letting you know that he wanted to talk about it, or was he trying to avoid the subject entirely? You slowly cleared your throat to fill the silence, then ventured to ask a question. “What’s going to happen from here?”
“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. “In an ideal world, I’d be a single dad with no complicated relationships, and I’d just go ahead and ask you out so I can actually get to know you. But here we are.” You couldn’t help but blush deeper at how direct he was, not quite used to men being like this. Or, at least, boys your age certainly weren’t. “Our age difference… doesn’t bother you?” you asked hesitantly, and he chuckled for the first time, the deep rumble sounding like music to your ears. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? I don’t think you even know how old I am.” You had assumed thirties, but you supposed he was right. “I’m thirty-eight,” he told you before you could even ask, pausing for a moment before continuing, “How do you feel about that?”
“I love it.” You found yourself blurting out, then hit your forehead, silently groaning as you fell back onto the bed. He was laughing now, teasing, “Oh, do you now? Wow, are you telling me you have a daddy kink?” You couldn’t help but giggle too, rolling onto your stomach. “I didn’t mean to say it like that, okay? I just meant-- I don’t know, I’ve never been with an older guy before if we’re being honest, but I want to be with someone mature. Someone who can help me be better and has experience to back it up, but of course I want to be able to support them too. Which brings me back to my question…” you trailed off somewhat nervously. “Do you really think a twenty year old girl is someone you should be interested in?”
“I think I don’t give a shit how old you are.” He replied bluntly, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly at that. “I mean, as long as you’re legal, of course, which you are. But your age has nothing to do with what I may or may not feel for you. I think you’re fun to talk to, you take amazing care of my son, who, not to mention is absolutely in love with you too-- and you have so much dedication and passion for what you do and what you want. And… it doesn’t hurt that you manage to look drop dead gorgeous no matter what you’re wearing. Even when you’re covered in my son’s drool by the end of the day.” He added playfully, and while you were blushing madly over all of his compliments, you laughed loudly at his last one. “Thank you. That might be the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me.” You replied sarcastically, and the sound of his laugh echoed on the other end, only making you smile wider. Making him laugh felt so damn satisfying.
“Are you feeling better?” you suddenly asked, hating to ruin the moment by being so serious, but you were genuinely concerned. “I mean, both from being drunk earlier and… everything else.” He hummed lowly and you could hear the sheets rustle some more. “Talking to you helps a lot. I should have called you earlier this week, honestly.” There it was, your heart racing again. “When do you come back?” you asked, now just wishing you could see him in person. “My flight’s in the morning. I should be back sometime on Monday.”
“Will you pick Linc up?”
“I will.” He confirmed, and you could hear by his tone that he was smiling. “How about we figure out when to spend time together once I’m back.”
“Alright. Sounds good.” You agreed, unable to help but smile, too. “Goodnight, Steve. See you soon.”
“Night, Y/N. Thanks for talking to me.”
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The Arrangement: CEO’s Son/Dom!Shawn x Black Sub Reader Chapter 11
a/n: Hi. so I stopped posting these because no one ever reads them and barely anyone reads the fic anymore but this is literally my favorite chapter of this whole damn thing. So please be gentle with her. She’s wonderful in my opinion. k bye.
WARNINGS: sex without a condom, accidental insemination (i know that’s not sexy but i didn't feel comfortable using the cp word tbh). Also just so much fluff and so much love. major development of feelings here.
*Shawn’s point of view*
“y/n where are you taking me?”
“Did you wear the shirt?” She asked instead. “The red one?”
He peered down at his shirt that she insisted he wear for the occasion, three buttons undone instead of two just like she said.
“Yes I’m wearing the shirt, but I don’t--”
“Perfect! I’ll be down in just a second. Make sure you’re in the passenger seat.”
His girlfriend was weird. Incredible and mind bendingly smart and gorgeous. But weird.
And yet, by the time she finally appeared out of her apartment there he was, following her every direction. He remembers she wore this really pretty flowy dress that billowed around her ankles because it was getting chilly in New York and he wondered if maybe she might want his denim jacket from the backseat. She slid into his car and immediately kissed him like she hadn’t seen him in days. They hadn’t been able to spend the night together for the past few weeks due to busy schedules, and so Saturday was supposed to be date night. And he was all ready to take his girlfriend on a magical evening with a reservation at KO, this amazing Asian restaurant that was impossible to get into and well over 200 dollars for the tasting menu. Instead, she had told him to put on a very specific outfit and grab his guitar, because she was in charge for the night. And besides the bedroom, y/n was always in charge. Always.
“You and your wild, taffy legs. How is anyone supposed to reach the pedals in this thing?” She grumbled flailing around in the driver’s seat.
He rolled his eyes playfully and reached over to flick the switch that would push her seat up.
“Sweetheart, this is the Tesla. Please be gentle.”
She clicked her seatbelt on and adjusted her mirror before spinning out smoothly into the street.
“Boy I know what the hell I’m doing. You just sit there and let mama handle things okay?” She snorted.
“Just as long as mama doesn’t total my hundred sixty thousand dollar car, she can handle whatever she’d like.”
“What could this vehicle possibly do that’s worth that much money. It’s still wheels and a seat, sis.” She giggled to herself at her own joke. “Besides, I could total this car and you’d still love me in the morning. Not that I would! I’m a good driver, dammit.”
It took one look at her with her tongue just barely passed her lips in concentration as she navigated city traffic to confirm her statement.
“Yea...You’ve got me there.” He sighed.
His confusion was once again peaked as y/n headed away from the city instead of deeper into it. Any idea for what she might have had planned went straight out the window. It didn’t help that she simply continued to listen to one of his playlists he made her, bopping her adorable head to the music and ignoring him as he stared helplessly in his seat.
“Baby...You’ve got to give me something here. I might start to think you’re taking me out to the woods to kill me.” He whined.
She rolled her eyes. “Like I have the time or the patience to drag your big ass through the woods. Men. So impatient. Can’t you just enjoy the ride?”
“I might enjoy it a little more, if I knew where we were going.”
“You shall see in...twenty-two minutes.” She explained peering at the gps on her phone.
“You know the car comes with a GPS too.”
“Ah hah! That explains the price tag huh?”
He decided it best he stay quiet less his girlfriend only continued to make fun of him more.
Needless to say he’s a little confused when they pull up to what looks like nothing more than a little pub. His car was probably more expensive than the building, and he couldn’t help but remember that he’d gotten them a reservation at a place that had been booked solid for the last three months.
“Y/n...what the hell?” He asked quietly. “Where are we?”
“We are at Lenny’s Tavern.” She smiled pointing to the big sign outside the building.
“Yes, I can see that. Why are we at Lenny’s Tavern?”
She leaned back in her seat and stared at him with her big gentle eyes. It was always her way of getting him to calm down. Because when she was calm, it was nearly impossible for him not to be.
“We’re here so that you can play your music.”
….
So much for being calm.
“What?! W--What? No. No way. Y/n I can’t. I can’t play anything that my dad owns. You know that. I told you that!”
“You can’t seek monetary gain for any performance without his sign off. That’s correct. But this is an open mic night. And technically your father has rights to anything officially recorded in a studio or otherwise. This is what bars you from releasing, let’s say a single on soundcloud or spotify for example. However, a live performance? A random ten minute set? That’s fair game.” She explained.
“How could you know that? How could you possibly know that?”
“Because I read your contract. Line for line. And it’s tight. It’s tight and it’s shitty and I can’t imagine what an awful human being your dad has to be to get you to sign it, but there was wiggle room. So...let’s wiggle.”
He was dumbfounded. His heart was hammering in his chest and he just kept peering at the tiny pub in front of them and then back to her and then back to the pub. He hadn’t sung in front of a crowd since high school. He wasn’t prepared, every single song absolutely escaping his mind. And here she was just as calm as a cucumber.
“How did you find my contract?” He asked.
“You’re not the only one who has their ways, Shawn.”
She undid her seatbelt and turned in the seat to face him. She reached for his hands, which were most definitely shaking, and squeezed hard enough at them that he could no longer tell. His breathing was uneven as the panic set in. Most of it was his dad. And what he might do, and all of the things that he could do. But, some of it was just the fear of failing. He’d spent years convincing himself that his dad was the reason he never got his shot, the reason he never made it big. But there was always a tiny voice in the back of his head that was convinced it might just be him. Maybe he was just wasn’t good enough. Maybe he never would be.
“Hey, look at me.”
His eyes flickered up to her face as he worked to steady his breathing.
“You’ve got a gift. A gift that makes you happy and a gift that has the ability to make others happy. Not everyone has that. People spend their whole lives chasing shit like that. You love music. I know you do; I can feel it in every muscle of your being. I’m not asking you to fight your dad, and I’m not asking you to do anything I don’t already know you can do. I’m just asking you to sing because you love it okay? And I know for a fact that you can do that.”
She kept one hand of his in her lap and reached to touch his face with her other. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t lean into her touch with his whole head and his whole heart and maybe the rest of him too.
“I’m gonna be there the whole time. Just focus on me.” She whispered. “And have fun. Can you do that?”
He took a deep breath and kissed at her palm.
“I--I don’t know. Maybe? What if I fuck it up? What if it hurts?”
“Then we go home and we laugh about it. You’re never gonna see any of these people again. This is literally just for you. No one else.”
“Fuck. Okay. Okay, I’ll try.”
She grinned. “Yea?”
“Yea. But if I fall I need you to pick me up, alright?”
“Darling that’s all that I’m here for.”
They get out of the car, his guitar case firm in his hand, as she pulls him forward by his other one. He makes her double lock the Tesla just in case. Who knew where the hell they were at.
Inside the pub isn’t exactly the Irish biker crowd. It looks more like a college town bar. There were mostly younger people, early twenties to thirties, all standing around drinking and having a good night. All of the lights were off except for at the bar, and the stage at the front of the pub. There was already somewhere up there. A woman with a really beautiful soprano timbre. Some were sat around the stage at tables drinking and enjoying the music. It was maybe a hundred people total in the whole space, but certainly more than he’d ever sang in front of before.
He was still looking around trying to get a feel for the space when her hand squeezed at his again to get his attention.
“Oh, I almost may have invited a friend.”
He turned to see Niall with a beer in his hand talking loudly to what must have been another friend at a table. The second he spotted Shawn though, he was downing his drink and heading straight for them.
“Shawnie Boy!” He cheered wrapping his arms around him quickly. “It’s about time you got here man, the crowd’s all warmed up for ya.”
“I--I’m sorry?”
“Oh this lovely woman instagram dm’d me that you were finally gonna put that voice of yer’s on display for all to see, asked if I’d be a friendly face in the crowd. But, this is the place I got discovered at man. I thought it might bring some good luck to you! You’re gonna kill it.”
Niall clapped him on the shoulder and then turned to y/n to pull her in for a hug as well. It wasn’t difficult to see what his dad had seen in Niall. Besides the Irish accent, and the blue eyes, and the voice, Niall was a force of nature. He was charismatic and kind and sort of all over the place. He certainly made Shawn feel calmer as well. Niall was the first person he shared music with in a long time besides Brian. Perhaps if he believed in him, there was something worth believing in.
Niall, y/n, and a few of Niall’s friends that he remembered from various studio sessions crowded around the table closest to the stage. There was a guy by the soundboard, keeping track of the acts who were going. He went to put his name on the list, and only kind of hoped that the guy might tell him the list was full.
“Name?” He asked.
“Uh, Shawn Mendes?”
“Ah you’re already on the list. You can go next. You get two songs. There’s a mic on stage that should pick up the guitar. Is it an acoustic?”
“Yea.”
“Well perfect man. Good luck out there.”
“Yea, okay. Thanks.”
He got his guitar out of the case and slipped the strap over his shoulder. She was perfectly in tune and felt like air beneath his fingertips. The guitar had taught him confidence. He felt comfortable with it on, like it was his best piece of clothing. All the nerves and stress sort of took a back seat when he was playing, even there to the side of the stage while he waited for the last person to finish up. He just genuinely loved playing. Like more than anything in the world.
“Alright. Next up is a newbie. Give it up for Shawn Mendes everybody!”
He hears y/n above all else as she claps and cheers and let’s everyone around know that’s her man up there. It makes him laugh which makes him breathe. It’s good. She’s perfect.
He takes a seat on the stool in front of the mic, fingers still strumming absentmindedly as he settles on what to play. The tension is still in his shoulders a little bit. He’s still absolutely terrified. But it’s her who asked him to do it. So, he will.
“Hello. I haven’t really played in front of people since I was fifteen so this could go bad, but hopefully it doesn’t. Um this song is for my girlfriend who I’ve been writing songs about far longer than she’s been my girlfriend. I hope you like it.”
He plays When You’re Ready because it feels right. He wrote it after their first few nights together, far before he was ever ready to admit just how into her he was. He lied to himself and said that he was just using their experience to write a song, that it wasn’t necessarily about her. But, who was he fooling? Sometimes he thought he might write about her for the rest of his life.
Don't know why I try 'cause ain't nobody like you
Familiar disappointment every single time I do
And every single night my arms are not around you
My mind's still wrapped around you
He catches her eyes in the crowd and it’s like they’re back in his apartment sitting on the floor with pillows and candles while he plays. It’s no longer scary or frightening or overwhelming. It’s just them. And he gets this feeling in the middle of the song that he’d sing forever if it meant he got to tell the world how he felt about her. She made him feel everything and anything ten times over. And he was just starting to hit the surface of what that could actually mean for him.
And if I have to, I'll wait forever
Say the word and I'll change my plans
Yeah, you know that we fit together
I know your heart like the back of my hand
It dawns on him that other people are nodding along about halfway through the song. Niall was nodding, but that was Niall. There were people at the back of the bar who turned his way to listen and pay attention. He’s got a crowd staring back at him and they don’t even hate him. It’s the wildest thing in the world.
Even ten years from now, if you haven't found somebody
I promise I'll be around
Tell me when you're ready
I'm waitin', I'm waitin'
His thumb hits the last chord and he’s not prepared for the applause that bursts out. He has to look to y/n to see how she’s making it sound like so many people are clapping, but it’s not her. It’s the bar. It’s everyone. And it’s the wildest thing he’s ever experienced in his whole life.
For a second he just stands there dumbfounded staring at them all. Were they sure? Did they really like it? Music was the most humbling of things, because money couldn’t make you not sound like shit. Either you had it, and you worked for it, or you didn’t. The guy from the sound booth had to give him the reminder to play his other song, or surely he would have just stared at them all night.
“Shit. Uh thanks. That was wild. Okay. Um, this next one is called Lights On. Hope you like it.”
Y/n had never heard it. And rightfully so. It was his least vulgar way of reminding himself of the way that she made him feel from that night that he finally met her. The way that her dress had melded to every curve. The length of her spine when she was trying to stand as tall as humanly possible above everyone else. The way that her thighs had felt around his head. It’s everything that the song reminded him off without stating it explicitly, and he can tell by the heat in her eyes that he’s conjuring up similar images for her.
He’s so focused on her that he doesn’t notice that the entire bar had begun to clap to the beat of the song, or that by the time he gets to the second chorus people are singing along. He’s got the whole bar transfixed on him and it should feed his ego more than anything. (Make no mistake it still kind of does) But it’s harder to focus on that when the woman he loves is looking at him like she wants to devour him and maybe hold him too. It’s certainly a complex array of emotions and all that he’s left to do is beam at this crowd of maybe a hundred people for making his little dream come true. But still mostly her.
He walked off the stage to a whole bunch of applause that made him feel like his skin was buzzing. He wanted to run a mile or six. He wanted to go dance in the rain, or scream on the top of a building. Anything that would expel this energy out of him. It all felt too great. Too beautiful. In a way he was more fucked than ever, because he knew right there in that moment that performing was the only thing he was ever gonna want to do.
“Hey man that was a kickass set!” The sound guy from earlier exclaimed. “I’m Ronnie. I run the pub. You’re Shawn right?”
He nodded. “Thanks man. It was really a dream come true for me.”
“Yea? Well if you ever wanna come back and keep doing it more of it, you let me know okay? Take my card.”
The guy hands him his card and claps him on the back before going to announce the next act. He peered aimlessly down at the piece of paper feeling a big overwhelmed. Did this mean he could do it again? That he was allowed to keep performing? The thought had literally never even occurred to him.
He floats back to table where y/n and Niall were already clapping and screaming for him. He gets claps on the shoulder from random people as he passes through. It’s like the greatest night of his life or something.
And then she’s there. And he knows that he loves her because he drops his guitar case against the table to pick her up in his arms. He knows that he loves her because he has to hide his face in her neck because he thinks for a second that he might cry, he’s so goddamn happy. And he knows that he loves her because it’s all her. She gave him the moment and the feeling and the love. It’s her.
“I--I can’t believe you did that for me.” He mumbled fingers knotting in her dress.
She kissed his forehead and pulled him closer.
“That is the happiest I’ve ever seen you. And I’d do it a million times over, you hear me?”
He nodded breathlessly.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He goes to kiss her only for her to wrap her fingers around the base of his skull and pull him in for the kiss of his life. Her teeth are punishing and her tongue is a dangerous heaven in his mouth. He very nearly lifts her up off the floor like they’re at home instead of in public, and he has a feeling that was her goal exactly.
“Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes. Don’t think I forgot about that little song of yours.” She whispered.
And then she detangled herself from him and walked off like a dream and a sin all at once. Christ was he lucky. Needless to say he very quickly ditched his guitar with Niall and ran off to find his girlfriend in this dingey ass bar. The shit this woman could convince him to do.
He found her in a single stall family bathroom, which was honestly much cleaner than he expected, and the fact that they can’t keep their hands off each other tells him he needs to write more songs. And fast.
She jumped up in his arms and started sucking on his neck in that way of hers that always turned him to goo. He was lost in her immediately.
“Are we gonna have sex in this bathroom right now?” He mumbled already letting his hands wander beneath her dress.
“That depends. Do you have a condom?”
This gives him great pause. He pulled back to stare at his girlfriend in confusion.
“A condom? N--No. What am I fourteen?”
Her eyes widened. “What does that even mean? Also what the fuck were you doing at fourteen to be walking around with condoms?”
“Well it’s just that...you have the IUD. And guys only carry condoms around with them in the hopes that they’ll get lucky. I’m a sure thing kind of guy. Plus, my dad gave me my first one when I was eleven.” He shrugged.
She leaned back in his arms to stare at the ceiling.
“Jesus Christ. He’s literally the devil. Had your balls even dropped yet? Oh my god!”
“Can we not talk about my prepubescent balls please? It’s really ruining the mood.” He whined. “Can’t we just...you know?”
She raised an eyebrow at him so sharp he nearly got cut.
“Can we just what? If you think I’m walking around for the rest of the night with your nasty ass jizz between my legs, you’ve got another thing coming. Also we simply have to work on your sexual health competency because that was the dumbest shit you’ve ever said to me.”
“I think we can get creative with where we put it y/n! I just think that the more we sit here talking about, the less sexy it becomes!”
“Excuse me?! Communication is the sexiest thing in the world. Sex without communication is awful and probably predatory.”
She paused and peered down at him from where he was holding her up against his waist again. She tilted her head as if to make a decision of whether or not he was worth fucking in that moment, which like….huge ego crush by the way.
“Ah fuck it come here.”
And then she started kissing him again, so he quickly forgot about all of that.
He turned to slam her against the wall, fingers searching for the edge of her underwear beneath the skirt of her dress. She moaned in his ear and bit at his shoulder, his hips grinding more and more desperately against her’s.
“You think you can hold me up long enough to make me cum?” She whimpered.
“‘Course I can. Now be a good girl and open wide for me.”
He sticks his fingers in her mouth until they’re wet enough to rub her clit. The denim of his jeans is rough against her skin but he can’t get enough of the way she moans when he rubs against her. Let no one ever underestimate how hot they could get for each other with literally no time at all. She gets wet for him on command and her thighs tremble when rubs her the way that she needs. It’s perfect. Her body sings for him in octaves that make his heart race and his dick hard and his heart warm. She’s sort of everything to him in these moments.
“Remind me to get some restraints that hold you up against the wall. This is really doing it for me.” He mumbled.
“Yea, yea. Less talking more humping.”
At least she wasn’t impatient at all.
As far as sex goes, it’s really good. There’s something about the sound of the bar right outside the door, knowing that there were still people surrounding them on all sides. Something about the way she can’t keep quiet, so he can’t keep quiet either. Something about the way she tastes, the way she always tastes.
“Fuck,” He panted pushing her thighs back against the wall as he paused to rest inside of her. “Fuck, y/n.”
Her head rested against the wall, her lips parted and panting. She looked so fucking good it hurt to look at her. He bit his lip and doubled down against the wall using his hips to drive harder into her in the hopes that the way her hips were held in his hands might get her where she needed to go. When her fingers grip so tight at the back of his head that he winces, he figures he might have done it right.
“Oh my GOD!”
Her legs trembled in his hands and he tilted his hips to push more ruggedly against her. Her hands slapped at the wall in desperation as she reached aimlessly for anything and nothing. She hit the paper towel dispenser with a sharp clang and cried out for him like a symphony as she clenched at him for all he was worth it.
“I’m cumming.” She whined. “Baby, I’m cumming!”
It’s the greatest pleasure in the world. He presses his hand against the wall beside her head, his other arm just barely holding her up and practically falls into her. He couldn’t hold back his own orgasm if you’d paid him. If she whined for him, he sobbed for her. Fell apart for her. Loved her and held her and came for her with everything in him the way that only she could make him do. Only her.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled wetly, kissing at her shoulder. “Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. Shit, it’s okay.”
He lets her down onto shaky legs, both of them worse for ware. She made her way to the toilet to clean up, while he tried to regain function in his brain. Less than ten minutes later they were back at the bar as if nothing had happened. Though the look Niall gave him when he finally got his guitar back told him that maybe they hadn’t been quite as subtle as they could be. He didn’t care though. It was probably the best night of his life.
It’s later, back at his apartment when the lights are off except for the glow of his closet, when her head fits perfectly on his chest that the weight of it hits him. What she was willing to do for him to make him happy, for him to succeed. She was so good to him.
They got closer and deeper into this thing every day. He fell a little harder every time that he caught her smiling or laughing or even just being. The thought that she might return the sentiment was almost too much for his heart to bare.
“Thank you for taking care of me.” He whispered his fingers tracing shaping on her back. “I never would have done that if you hadn’t pushed me.”
She kissed his chest and snuggled closer.
“I’m happy to. You deserve it ya know? I know you think sometimes things are just the way they are but…it doesn’t have to be. I know that from experience.”
“I know. Or at least I’m starting to. You’re very convincing.” He snorted.
“Stick with me sweetheart, I’ll get us places.”
He didn’t doubt her for a second.
***
*y/n’s point of view*
You were trying to see if it was possible to get Shawn to forget about harry potter based off the sheer power of cleavage alone. It was proving to be incredibly difficult because you couldn’t get him to turn his head away from the movie long enough to see that your tits were on full display. Here you were thinking you were dating some suave, feeling himself, type playboy when in reality he was an actual dork hiding in a hot man’s body. The audacity.
“Shawn.” You murmured squeezing your arms together to push your cleavage up again.
“Not now babe, Snape is about to rip Harry and Ron a new one. I love this part.”
You rolled your eyes and collapsed against the sheets giving in to the magic that this franchize seemed to have over your boyfriend. What a shit show.
When his phone starts to ring, Shawn makes a face like someone just shot bamby right in front of him. The ridiculousness of it all was not in fact lost on you.
“Hello?” He sighed pausing the movie. “Oh...Hi.”
You peered over at him in interested as he threw his legs over the side of the bed to face away from you.
“No. No I haven’t been ignoring you I’ve just been a bit busy with work and what not. Yes, I know you’re out there all alone. No I--I don’t hate you. Yes…. Yes. Okay, but I can’t really just fly out to….Okay. Yes, love you too. Bye.”
“Well if that was your sidepiece or something can you at least ask her to respect Harry Potter time? I mean that just seems rude.” You snorted.
“It wasn’t a side piece.” He mumbled falling back into bed. “It was my mother.”
He pressed play on the movie again but his eyes and his mind were somewhere else. This was the first time his mom had ever been brought up besides casual conversation. And if the tension in the room was anything to go off, there was a reason for that.
“I thought...I thought you and your mom got along really well.” You asked softly.
“We do. I love her more than anything. It’s just...tough. She’s a little angry at me at the moment.”
You were far more willing to decipher your boyfriend’s traumatic experience than watch Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azaban for the fifth time that month. So, you paused the movie and let him nestle his face in the cleavage he should have been in all along.
“How come?” You asked, fingers gliding through his curls.
“She blames me for staying in California with my dad instead of moving back to Canada with her.”
“Oh. I’m sorry I didn’t realize your parents were divorced.”
He rolled his eyes. “They’re not. That would cause too much publicity. But, my mum got tired of him fucking every secretary that he hires and being a verbally and emotionally abusive piece of shit. He pays for her to stay in Canada so that she doesn’t blast his shit to the whole world. It’s really more of a business transaction.”
You peered down where his head lied on your chest and you wondered if he could feel your heart squeeze painfully in your chest.
“Jesus, Shawn.”
“Yea. I know. Trust me, I know.”
“Honestly the fact that you’ve come out half way as normal as you are is a true testament to yourself. I think you should probably be far more fucked up than you are.”
“I probably am. You just haven’t gotten a chance to see it yet.”
“We’ve known each other for clear over a year at this point, boy. I think I would’ve noticed.”
You ran your hands down his neck and over his shoulders where the muscles were tense and the stress seemed to be knotting in him by the second.
“She wants me to come home.” He admitted softly.
“Is that--that something that would be hard for you?”
“What watching her waste away in some mansion in Toronto under my dad’s thumb just like me? What son doesn’t wanna watch his mum be miserable? I’m never gonna be able to fix it. Things are always gonna be like this.”
“Yea, but they don’t have to be.”
He leaned his head up just slightly enough for eye contact. His cheeks were rosey and his eyes were hooded and sad. He looked sort of like he needed a nap. God he was cute.
“What do you mean?”
“I just mean that...You could go home and be with your mom and it might take away some of her burden. It sounds like she loves you a lot, like she just wants to see her son. You don’t have to change the world to make a difference ya know?” You hummed.
Shawn sighed and just sort of collapsed on your chest all grumpy again. He was a little bit like a cat in those moments. A very large, very long, heavy ass cat.
“Fine,” he eventually grumbled. “What are you doing next weekend?”
“Hmm...Nothing that I can think of. Why?”
“I guess we’re going to Canada.”
That just simply was not what you meant.
***
“I really need you to stop fidgeting. You’re making me fidget!”
You rolled your eyes but settled a little firmer in your seat. You messed around with the bracelet on your wrist instead before reaching for your necklace to mess with that. The car pulled to a stop and your heart lurched into your throat again. Shit.
“Sweetheart,” Shawn sighed reaching for your hand to play with your fingers. “You’ve got nothing to be nervous about. My mum is the sweetest human being you’ll ever meet.”
“Of course she is. Everyone is sweet and dandy until the white boy brings a black girl home.” You mumbled still peering anxiously out the window.
“Y/n. Y/n look at me.”
You tilted your head slightly in his direction only for him to tug your chin so that you were facing each other head on.
“I know for a fact she’s going to be obsessed with you. But, if she wasn’t? If for even a second she wasn’t as impressed with you as everyone on this planet should be? We’d fly out today, okay? I don’t need anyone’s approval to tell me whether or not I should love you. Do you understand?”
You hated when he made sense. You were supposed to be the rational one afterall. Plus he looked a lot cuter when he did it.
Your head dipped down a little bit to stare at the console in the middle of the car, but he only tugged your chin up again for you. It was almost like if you couldn’t keep your head high he was hellbent on doing it for you.
“Trust me, please?” He whispered. “Just trust me.”
“Okay.” You sighed pressing your forehead against his. “Just don’t let me go okay?”
“Sweetheart, I wouldn’t dream of it.”
He got out of the car and came to open your door, his finger quickly latching with yours. It turns out that you’d been so in your head over the thought of meeting his mother, against your will you might add, that it had never occurred to you to get freaked out over the size of the house. If you could even call it a house. The place was big enough to have it’s own fucking zipcode. It was a pristine, white mansion with a six car garage that looked like it could be its own house. You’d seen places of the sort for parties and what not in LA, but you’d never actually seen someone really, truly live in one. It reminded you endlessly of the difference in the lives that you and Shawn had. Sure, you might be in the same industry now, but your upbringings? Your childhoods? They could not have been more different.
Shawn led you slowly up to the house where he rang the doorbell that seemed to echo throughout the home. Your hand tightened around his, and so he tightened his own in response. He turned to kiss your temple and nuzzle his nose into your hair as an attempt to soothe you. It was just beginning to work when the door opened.
“My baby!”
She was a tiny woman. At least in comparison to Shawn. But you couldn’t tell by the way that she wrapped him up in her arms and kissed him as if he was a small child. And apparently he was. In her eyes, anyway. The more shocking thing was the way that he fell into her arms. He held her just as tightly as she held him. He kissed her cheek and he rocked back and forth with her. It was just about the sweetest shit you’d ever seen in your life.
“I missed you mum.” He sighed rubbing her back.
“I missed you too.”
You watched in awe as a kind of softness to your boyfriend revealed itself in a way you’d never quite seen before. Sure, he was affectionate with you. But clearly Shawn and his father weren’t running around professing their love for each other. This was a new side to him entirely.
Shawn stepped back out of his mother’s arms and reached for your hand to hold tightly just as before. He pressed his lips to the back of your hand and turned to you.
“There’s uh--there’s someone I want you to meet actually. This is y/n, my girlfriend. Y/n this is my mum.” He introduced.
Her eyes widened and you’d be lying if you didn’t say you were prepared for the worst. The moment she throws her arms around the both of you, you enter a moment of complete and utter shock.
“Oh my god! Shawn, oh my god. She’s beautiful!”
She reached for your hand and squeezed it warmly like you were old friends instead of people who were meeting for the first time.
“Mrs. Mendes, it’s so nice to meet you.” You smiled sheepishly.
“Oh, please, please call me Karen. Shawn has never brought someone home before, so excuse me if I’m a little excited. Please, come in!”
She tugged you forward into the house and quickly began to give you a tour. You looked back at Shawn with a questioning gaze at her comment. His cheeks were red and rosy, a clear give away, but he said nothing.
It really was an impressive home. You got the sense that she took pride in it, even if it felt sort of like a prison. At least she was here back home and away from all the craziness. She could lead whatever life she wanted in this place. And she seemed to have peace with that. It was a much more worthy narrative than some sad housewife locked away in a tower. She was strong. You could tell. And you liked that.
“I’ll leave you both to freshen up and unpack. I’m gonna finish up dinner. I made a roast.” She grinned at Shawn.
“My mum makes the best roast you’ve ever had in your life.” He assured you. “Hands down.”
“Wow. Well could you use any help, Mrs. Mendes? I’d hate to be a bother when you weren’t expecting me.”
Polite girlfriend shtick. You had that shit down. Shawn rolling his eyes and poking you in the shoulder was nothing but a slight hindrance on your performance.
“Honey, call me Karen. And I wouldn’t dream of making you help. There’s plenty to go around. Dinner should be ready in twenty minutes okay?”
She left with a pep in her step and a smile on her face, closing the door behind her. Shawn waited till the door was closed to tackle you down to the bed until he was lying flat on top of you like the giant he was.
“‘I’d hate to be a bother!” He exclaimed in a ridiculous english accent.
You quickly pinched his side and took solace in the pain on his face.
“Not funny dickhead. I was trying to make a good impression. You’d be wise to grovel when you meet my mother.” You snorted.
“Grovel? Mothers love me, y/n.”
“White mothers love you, honey. Black mothers will be skeptical of you at all costs. Who knows all the secrets you might be hiding in your hair alone.”
He nuzzled his head into your neck and placed a kiss against your collarbone.
“We’ll see about that. I hear I can be pretty persuasive. I got you didn’t I?” He hummed.
You bit your lip as his tongue traced your skin. He got you alright.
“I suppose stranger things have happened.” You chuckled.
“Is that...Is that something you might want sometime?”
“Might want what?” You asked running your fingers through the hair at the back of his neck.
“For me to...you know? Maybe meet your family. You seem a lot closer to them than I am to mine.”
You went quiet for a while. And it really wasn’t out of fear. You were just trying to imagine Shawn in your world. A small town in Georgia that kept its roots close and visible. The chicken places. The small, tiny two bedroom homes that built neighborhoods of children like you. Some who went to school and some who never made it “out”, whatever that meant. It was different. Home for you was a place of nostalgia and a place of comfort, but it also represented something outside of yourself. The industry could often make you feel like you had succeeded because you were here and not there. No matter how much you loved it, home was complicated. To take Shawn there would mean something far deeper than anything else you’d done thus far in truly any of your relationships. It would mean showing him a part of you that no one knew, except for Tiana. No one.
He leaned up far enough to peer down into your eyes. His thumb traced the apple of your cheek and it made your whole body shiver.
“We don’t have to. It’s not a big deal. Just wanted to ask. I would never rush you.”
You nodded. “It’s not that--it’s not that I don’t want to. I’m just a little afraid of what it might mean.”
“Of us getting more serious?”
“Not that. More so, of you seeing who I am and what I come from. What if...what if you don’t like it?” You asked. “It’s so different Shawn. We don’t have any of this where I come from.”
“That doesn’t matter to me.” He said quietly. “You know that right? That I would never ever judge you for where you come from?”
You closed your eyes and worked to steady your breathing. You didn’t quite know how to explain it to him, but you wanted to so badly.
“It’s not that. I don’t think you would be judgemental I just think you would be...confused. I don’t know like maybe we’re so different that it might be too hard to find how we fit together.”
Your eyes opened to him cupping your cheek again. His eyes were gentle and calm and loving. The way that they always tended to be. You weren’t sure how he managed that.
“We already fit together, y/n. We fit better together than anyone I’ve ever met before. I’m not interested in anything or anyone else. I just want you.”
“Are you sure?” You mumbled fingers tightening anxiously in his shirt.
“I have never been more sure of anything in my whole entire life.” He breathed.
When he kissed you it felt like relief and tenderness and care. You still couldn’t quite believe that this man of all men wanted to be all in with you. But, it felt so incredibly good. And you thought that maybe you wanted to be all in too.
***
“You have got to be kidding!”
“I swear to God! Showed his little peepee to the entire pool, with not an ounce of shame to be had!”
“Mum!” Shawn begged. “Please, please tell literally any other story in the history of ever! She doesn’t want to hear this.”
“Well now I beg to differ. How many people were at this pool, Karen?” You snickered.
He pinched quickly at your side, just hard enough for you to yelp, and rub at the bruised skin. Asshole.
“Rude.” You muttered in his direction.
“Yes, how rude of me to not want to be re-traumatized in front of my girlfriend. I’m going to get more wine, can I get anyone anything? No? Good.”
With Shawn in the kitchen, it was the first time that you and Karen were left to your own devices. You had quickly learned that the bubbly nature and infectious attitude of Shawn was all his mother. She was funny and sweet and insistent that everyone around her feel as good as possible.
“The roast really is incredible, Karen. I’d love to have the recipe sometime if you’re open to it. I’m working on expanding his palette beyond take out.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh, I’d be happy to. Every year he comes home, that boy gets a little skinnier. I worry about him in New York and LA with all those toxic people about. It’s so nice to know he’s getting home cooked meals every now and again.”
“Yea, well I’m a girlfriend not a maid. It’s nice to see him cook and figure things out for himself. He’s becoming a great sou chef.” You chuckled.
“You’ve got him to cook, aye? What else is he up to over there?”
“He actually just did his first open mic night just last week. It went incredibly well. I’m really proud of him for stepping out of his comfort zone and taking a little leap for himself.”
“An open mic?” She paused. “For what? Like for poetry, or spoken word?”
You shook your head. “No. He--He sang. And played guitar.”
At first you were worried that she somehow didn’t know Shawn was into music, and that you’d blown a secret of some kind. Karen peered back towards the kitchen before leaning over the table to reach for your hand. It was the most serious she’d been since the two of you arrive. Though her eyes were still kind, they were also incredibly still.
“Shawn got up in front of people and performed? You got him to do that?”
“I don’t know. I organized it, and I gave him a little pep-talk but it was all on him to get up there and actually do it. Why? Did I do something wrong?”
She stared at you for a second, hers fingers gripping lightly at your arm.
“You have no idea what you’ve done for him have you?” She whispered to herself. “Shawn hasn’t gotten on a stage since high school.”
You nodded. “No, I know. Because Manny signed him and he was afraid to break his contract.”
“No, you don’t understand. Shawn wasn’t afraid of breaking his contract. He found that performing was too painful. He didn’t like getting a taste of his dream, if it meant he was never going to have the real thing. If he got up on a stage and performed, he might have done it because of his love for music, but make no mistake darling. He also got up there out of love for you.”
You didn’t even know where to begin with that. It completely resituated that night and that experience differently in your mind. He hadn’t just been afraid of failing. He’d been afraid of doing well. Because if he did well, all that meant was that he never got to progress. He never got to do better. Suddenly you were reminded of that night on the Ariana tour where he told you he was stuck, that he would always be stuck. In your quest to make him happy, you’d missed a large piece of the puzzle, and you were a tiny bit afraid that you pushed him to do something that did more harm than good.
There’s no time to discuss the matter further before Shawn stepped quickly back into the room. He wrapped his arm around the back of your chair and launched into a story about the time Karen took him to see the Maple Leafs play when his dad was too busy to do it. The level of excitement that he had for her and for that small moment of his childhood was enough to hook you to the story. The rest could wait for now.
***
*Shawn’s point of view*
“I’m gonna go to bed a little early.” She yawned. “I think the flight wiped me out a bit.”
He nodded rubbing circles as soothingly into her back as he could.
“Okay. You want me to follow you up? We could run a bath or something.”
She smiled and squeezed at his hand on her back before tugging it softly off her skin.
“No. I want you to go spend time with your mother. That’s why we came here, remember?”
He pouted slightly. “Is there a rule that says I can’t spend time with my mum and take a bath with my girlfriend? Not at the same time, obviously.”
“Not a rule. Think of it more as a delegation. I am giving you the task to go spend time with your mom. Me and a bubble bath are never far away. Trust.” She grinned. “Now good night.”
She’d made up her mind clearly. There was no changing it. He learned that more and more about her by the day.
“Good night Karen!” She called as she headed up the staircase.
“Oh goodnight, darling!”
He spent a few seconds watching the way her ass move as she walked. A bubble bath sounded better than good in that moment.
He returned to the kitchen to help his mum clear and wash the dishes. In all of the grandiose design of the estate; the garages, the garden, the pond, the chandeliers on every floor, his mum always refused to have a dishwasher. She said she liked the monotony of washing them herself. It was her favorite chore when she was a child. He may not have exactly shared the sentiment, but it was without a doubt a memorable moment of his childhood. She stopped letting him wash, when she decided he couldn’t scrub to her level of satisfaction, but always let him rinse and dry. When he joined her in the kitchen she tossed him a drying towel over his shoulder with a smile. They settled into work alongside each other just like old times.
“Thank you for coming to visit me.” She said to him, softly. “I know how busy you are in New York. And I don’t mean to be a bother I just...I miss you. I hope you know that.”
“I know. I do, I promise. I miss you too. I wish that I---I just need to visit you more out here. There’s no excuse. It’s just hard with everything with dad, and trying to get through work now. It’s been hard finding my stride as a man I guess. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing. I just know I don’t wanna be like him.” He mumbled.
“Oh sweetheart, you’ve never been like your father. Not even when you try to be.”
He rolled his eyes playfully at her and took the plate that she handed him to run under the hot water.
“Sometimes I see some of him in the things I do though. The cockiness. The entitlement to everything around me. That’s him mum. That’s all him.”
She ran her sponge over a pesky stain of dried mashed potato and hummed in thought.
“So much of that is my fault too. I never fought your father as hard as I should have. He wanted you to have everything, just so he could say that you did. And I tried to balance that, tried to give you a normal life, but I lost. I wanted to keep you here until you turned eighteen, and we both know how that went. Sure you can be a bit of an asshole, and so much of the world has already been offered to you because of who we are, who your dad is. But your heart is good. I’ve always known that about you. And that’s all that matters, baby.”
“Is it bad that...I didn’t really care how people perceived me until I met her? I was kind of happy with being more like dad. It meant that we fought less, that he was nicer to me, that being at the company was easier. I almost forgot what it was like to fight against that until she looked me in the eye and told me she wasn’t impressed with anything that I was.”
She laughed. Honest to god laughed.
“She’s a feisty one isn’t she?” She snorted. “Doesn’t take any of your shit, that one. I like that. I like her.”
He chuckled softly to himself. “You don’t know the half of it. She barely gave me the time of day the first three months I knew her. I tried to uh impress her once by showing up to her place with these...really stupidly expensive chocolate strawberries that were dusted in gold or something. But, I didn’t offer them to her as a gift. I just left them on the counter open for the world to see? She looked at me like I was a complete and total jackass.”
“My boy. You tried at least.” She giggled patting him playfully with a wet hand. “You really like her, aye?”
He couldn’t help but laugh. His heart literally jumped in his chest just at the words coming out of her mouth. He didn’t even know what to say.
“I’m like...stupidly, crazyily, overwhelmingly in love with her.” He mumbled, eyes on his fingers barely moving to dry the cup that was in his hand. “I think she might break my heart one day.”
“Hmmm. And what makes you think that?”
“It just doesn’t really make sense does it? For her to want me the way that I want her. I know what I see in her. I see everything. Everything that’s good in the world, and thensome. Me? I’m just some spoiled rich kid from toronto with daddy issues. There are gingerbread men with more uniqueness.” He sighed. “The crazy part is she thinks we might not fit together because of how we grew up, and I’m just terrified she’s gonna realize at some point that all of this is a joke. It’s me who doesn’t really deserve her.”
He felt more than heard the splash of his mum dropping whatever dish she’d been holding beneath the water. When he turned to her she had her serious eyes on. The ones she used to pull out to scold him when he was younger, or to get him to stop dicking around when he was too riled up. They were persuasive as all hell, and he stares deeply into them even now.
“You listen to me, Shawn Peter. I didn’t raise someone unworthy of anything in this life. I know your childhood wasn’t ideal but you’re a person just like any other person. And I raised you to believe that everyone deserves to love and to live and to be happy didn’t I?”
He smiled sadly. “Yea, mum. You did.”
“So then you get it too. Everyone gets it including you, do you understand me?”
She reached to touch his cheek, her palm wet and soapy, but he hadn’t felt so small in such a long time. He’d missed her.
“She’s lovely. She’s really special. That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve her. That means you work every day to show her why you do. And hopefully, if you’re lucky, she shows you the same. That’s how it’s supposed to work. What the two of you have is special. So, don’t be afraid of it. Nurture it.”
He wrapped his hands gently around her wrists just to feel more connected to her. He nodded his head slowly to show her that he understood. When he did, she smiled and kissed at his forehead the way she used to when he was little. Any reservation he may have had about coming home was long gone now. And he couldn’t help but remember that it was once again y/n who had given him the push he needed to get here.
When the dishes were washed and his mum disappeared into her own room for the night, although not without leaving the hallway light on, he made his way back to her. It became incredibly evident that she hadn’t been sleepy at all when he caught her in bed answering work emails. She just wanted to give him alone time with her. And he was really glad that she did.
“Sleepy, aye?” He chuckled crawling into bed beside her.
She smiled as he nuzzled his face into her arm to distract her from typing.
“Is that all it takes to get the Canadian coming out of you? Just gotta get you back to the North star huh?”
“Funny. My mum said goodnight by the way. Guess she knew you weren’t so tired too.”
She hummed softly. “She’s really sweet. I see a lot of her in you now. You make a lot more sense to me now.”
“Yea? In what way?”
He reached for her laptop, shutting it softly, and setting it on the bedside table. He reached for her next, happy to feel the way she could mold into his arms so perfectly. She played with the rosary around his neck while she spoke, and it was as soothing for him as it was for her.
“All I knew of you back in New York was Manny. And, so I could never piece together the whole fuck boy persona with this, who you are to me now. The kindness and the softness and the warmth is so much of you; it’s all of you. Those two sides are just so different. I didn’t know if like emotional attachment was the key, which would be kind of fucked up in my opinion, or what it was. Like only respecting women if you’re interested in them is horrible, ya know? But now I know.”
She smiled smally to herself as if she had a secret that he wasn’t aware of.
“What do you know?”
She looked up into his eyes and it took his breath away.
“You’re not some dickhead, fuck boy. At least not really. You’ve been hurt a lot in your life by a lot of different people. And I think somewhere along the way you got the idea that being cold, being shut off from the world would just be easier. And I think I know who taught you that, and I’m really fucking sorry cause that’s such a miserable existence to have. I know from experience. But I like you. And it feels really good to know that this is who you are. This is who you’ve always been. A little fluffy Canadian.”
She reached up to tuck one of his curls back and he just had to kiss her, didn’t know if he could breathe for another second without it. She was too good to him in every way. And he was so incredibly in love with her. Kissing her felt right. It felt like the only way to express this thing that was just bubbling up inside of him always.
“I love you.” He whispered against her mouth. “I think you make me better than I ever was before.”
She shook her head at him. “Nah. I’m just here to show you what you almost forgot. You’re welcome, sweetheart.”
They lay there for a moment, with nothing but the feel of her skin against his and his heart beating in rhythm with hers. He felt the way that he tended to feel when he needed to write a song. A sort of energy was in him that felt like it might burst at any moment. His fingers were itching and he couldn’t really sit still. But instead of a song in his head and in his heart, all he had was her. And it was infinite.
“Are you tired?” He asked her.
“Not really why?”
“Get up. It’s my turn to take you to a random undisclosed location”
***
*y/n’s point of view*
You were shivering. Honest to god shivering. Your black ass was from Georgia and it did not like to be below 73 degrees at any one point. Shawn had taken you into the arctic as far as you were concerned. New York didn’t have shit on Canada. It was cold and your tits were chattering, and this boy was sitting here trying to be romantic or something.
“Shawn, I love you, but if you don’t tell me where we’re going my black ass is going back to the heated seats. I’ve grown soft. I don’t like this.” You whined.
Shawn laughed and paused to peel his jacket off. He then turned and wrapped it around you before pulling the hood to your sweatshirt over your head. He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you through a little more grass until you reached your destination. A football field.
“This is it.” He pointed pulling you a little deeper into the field.
“Okay. And we’re here...because?”
He slid a backpack off of his shoulder and proceeded to pull out a large, thick quilt, which he laid out on the ground. Next were a few candles as it was dark as all hell out there. He turned to you with a soft smile on his face and reached for your hand to pull you close.
“This is uh where I would’ve went to high school if we hadn’t moved to the states. I used to go to games with Brian whenever my parents would let me fly back here. We would come here at night and fuck around and be stupid. I noticed one day that you can see the stars like really perfectly from here. And I always wished that we could have just stayed here and I could go to school like a normal kid. Maybe bring a really pretty girl out to the football field to look up at the stars ya know?” He smiled. “Guess I got my wish after all.”
Well wasn’t that just the sweetest shit you’d ever heard in your life?
You lied down on the quilt together, your heads pressed together, legs intertwined. The sky was so dark that it was overwhelming. It felt like it was falling in on all sides. But the stars were these beautiful little dots of light everywhere. It was wonderful. You’d never really been the type to lay down and look at them, but lying beside this man who had wanted to for who knows how long felt like the most amazing thing in the world. It was just you, him, and the stars. Nothing else. It felt incredible. You couldn’t have asked for more.
“It’s beautiful.” you told him. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
You turned your head to see him, but he was already looking at you with that smile of his that was soft and goofy and full of love. God, how you loved him too.
“Thank you for everything. All of it. Everything that we are. I really wanna make you happy, okay? As much as I can.”
You tightened your fingers in his sweater and pressed your face closer to his.
“You do. You already do.” You promised.
And he did.
*twenty minutes later*
“Can I ask you something?” You asked hiding your nose in the warmth of his neck so that cold air couldn’t get to it.
“Of course.”
“Why did you perform that night. At the pub? What made you get on stage?”
His arms tugged a loose part of the blanket he brought for the occasion back over your shoulder to hold you better.
“Part of it was that I missed it. Niall and I have been fucking around between his sessions, and I’ve been writing again in a way that I haven’t in years. It felt right to get it out of me, to push it all out again.” He explained.
You took a deep breath and played with one of the frayed edges of the blanket.
“What was the other part?” You asked.
“You asked me.”
Shit.
“That’s what I was afraid of.” You mumbled.
“What? Why?”
He dislodged you a bit from his chest and laid you down against the ground, his body hovering just slightly above yours. Your eyes had well adjusted to the dark by now and you could see him for everything that he was. His eyes were confused and soft. Always soft.
“I didn’t mean to push you for something you weren’t ready for. I just wanted to see you happy. And I’ve never seen you happier than when you’re playing music. But I never want you to feel the need to do something out of some sort of blind allegiance to me. I--I’m sorry.”
“Baby,” He breathed and touched your cheek in that way of his that he always did. “that’s ridiculous. I’m so happy that you pushed me to perform. I--I never would have done it if it weren’t for you. And it was one of the most incredible nights of my whole life. I don’t regret it, and you shouldn’t either.”
You peered up at him hesitantly, your nerves getting to you as always.
“You’re sure? You can tell me if I fucked it up.”
He smiled and ran his thumb over your cheek again before tapping at your forehead with his finger.
“You get inside your own head more than you like to let on, and sometimes you get stuck there.”
You paused as he called you out in that effortless way of his, never having felt so attacked in your thirty years.
“I need you to know that if you asked me to do something, I would probably do everything in my power to make it happen. And I need you to know that part of it will always be allegiance and love and wanting to do right by you. But the other part will always be that you’ve never let me down. And you always do everything with light and goodness in your heart. So even if it all fell apart that night, even if it all falls apart tomorrow, I wouldn’t regret a thing. Just let me love you, y/n, in the way that feels right for the both of us. And try not to worry about the rest of it okay?”
You reached for his face with your hands to touch and to feel all of the love that seemed to pour out of him with ease. But only for you. Somehow only for you.
“You say that like it’s the easiest thing in the world.”
“It could be. We just won’t know until we try.”
You nodded softly and tugged at him until his body covered your own.
“Guess we’ll just have to try extra hard then.”
“I guess we will.”
*thirty minutes later*
“Hey y/n?”
“Hmm?”
“You think I could live out another dream I always had?”
“Sure. Which one?”
Your boyfriend ran his palms beneath the fabric of your sweatshirt, the chill of his fingers causing goosebumps to rise along your flesh. The fact that he manages to reach your tit in all the layers you were wearing was honestly impressive. And also absolutely ridiculous. He almost managed to hold a straight face but the minute you stared at him like the dumbass he was, he cracked into a fit of laughter.
“You are such an an idiot, it astounds me.”
Men.
***
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[Stand My Heroes] 花ざかりのSwallow tail (Swallow Tail in Full Bloom) Event Story: Investigation ② Translations
*Master-list will be created In the future *MC name is retained default Izumi Rei *Scenerio Writer: @benihara_k (紅原香)
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6
Investigation 2: Chapter 1
Maki: Sounds like the Kujo Family’s going to be holding a party. An invitation came.
Hiyama: The same invitation has been sent my way too.
Hiyama: There are stunning flowers of all seasons blooming in their garden, so I’d definitely want to see them for myself.
Maki: I got an invitation, so I’m planning on turning up. What about you, Kyosuke?
Kyosuke: Yeah, I have that day off so I think I’ll turn up.
Hiyama: Hatori and Kagura probably got invited too; I’ll check with them later.
Kyosuke: ...Wait, huh?
Maki: What’s the matter?
Kyosuke: This wax seal that’s been imprinted onto the invitation...
Kyosuke: It seems like we’ve got ourselves different designs.
Hiyama: ? Let me see.
Maki: You’re right. Hiyama-kun and Kyosuke both got the rose design. Mine’s the only one with the “K” insignia.
Maki: Come to think of it, it was written in the letter that we had to bring along our individual envelopes on that day itself too.
Hiyama: It’s them we’re talking about; I’m sure they have a plan up their sleeves.
Maki: Which means that whatever it is, it’ll be a secret until the day itself.
Kyosuke: I’m looking forward to seeing what happens.
─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆
Hinata: I think I’ll go with a cream soda. How about you, Kana?
Kaname: I’ll take...an iced-coffee.
Hinata: Alright, it’s decided then. Right, I’ve received your invitation by the way. Thanks.
Hinata: Everyone says that they’ll try to make it on the day to participate.
Kaname: I see. They don’t have to force themselves to come by if they can’t make it though.
Hinata: I’m going though. The secret hidden within the invitation has piqued my interest anyway.
Kaname: Whatever are you talking about?
Hinata: Hehe. It really tests your observation skills.
Ping-
Kaname: ...Oh, sorry. It’s Koya-kun. Could you give me a moment?
Hinata: Sure, no problem.
Kaname: (He wants to introduce all the participating members for the event next Sunday, he says...)
Kaname: (Well, I suppose that guy is pretty much one of us from the Kujo Family.)
Kaname: (Guess I’ll give him an OK.)
☆⋅⋆ …⋅─────────────────────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆
Investigation 2: Chapter 2
--And then, a couple more days later. I ended up visiting the Rose Garden together with Kirishima-kun and the others.
Kirishima: Whoa- This is amazing! Roses, roses, everywhere!
Kaname: I mean, it IS a Rose Garden for a reason.
Kujo: This is brilliant.
Shindou: This alone proves to be a pretty spectacular view.
Miyase: Each and every one of those roses are stunning. I’m sure they were all raised with lots of love.
─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆
--And then, just last week. Kirishima-san sent us all a certain invitation through a Group LIME.
Rei: (The group name’s “Miyase Party”)
Rei: (There’s no mistaking it; this must be a group for that party.)
Rei: (But why am I getting this?)
In any case, I decided to give my OK in response to the new invitation, and when I scrolled upwards to look at the chat’s log…
“Kirishima: Let’s meet-up at 8AM next Saturday at the Kujo Manor!”
“Kirishima: Everyone inside this group is to come!”
The message was posted inside the group as such, no questions asked.
─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆
Kaname: Sorry for making you put up with us this early in the morning despite it being your day-off, big sis.
Kaname: I just couldn’t stand hearing Koya-kun’s non-stop whining about wanting you to participate in this as well.
Rei: Not at all; don’t worry about it. Rather, I’m glad to be invited.
Rei: But why are we in a Rose Garden of all places?
Kaname: It’s one of the things we have to thank Go-san with.
Kaname: On record, Kujo-san said that he wanted to change up the garden’s scenery up a little.
Kaname: He wanted to spruce it up to show everyone how magnificent his garden is, knowing that Go-san would be proud of it when it’s at it’s prime.
Miyase: Wow, these Eventail d'or are beautiful…
Miyase: I’ve heard that it’s extremely hard to breed this particular species of rose.
Staff: It requires a dose of pesticide and fertilizer once every 10 days.
Staff: But it does bloom beautifully, for all the trouble it’s worth.
Miyase: They must have been raised with lots of love and care. Ahh...how wonderful.
Rei: (His eyes are sparkling in delight to be surrounded by such flowers.)
Kujo: …...
Kujo-san’s watchful eyes were all so soft as they looked over Miyase-san.
Surely, this must be one of the gifts they had decided to bestow upon Miyase-san, as a token of gratitude.
Miyase: This one here’s a King Rose, isn’t it. How absolutely lovely…
Kirishima: Let’s buy out everything that catches your eye. Bring out the one with whatever’s the name called earlier too.
Miyase: Ahh, sorry! It’s alright, you don’t have to! It just piqued my interest!
Kaname: Koya-kun, Miyase-san still looks like he’s thinking things through.
Kirishima: Ngh...I see. My bad.
Miyase: Not at all. Thank you for taking note of it though.
Miyase: Then...Could I get these ones here?
The roses he picked were whitish-pink in colour.
Kujo: How pretty. Are these Vine Roses?
Miyase: Yes. They’re called Shrub Roses since they’re half-hanging roses.
Miyase: I think it’ll turn out really picturesque if we hang it on the arch we have in our garden.
Kujo: There’s no problem with it if you say so. We’ll be taking that one then.
Staff: Understood.
The employee carefully packaged the rose seedlings. And Miyase-san beamed as he received them.
Miyase: Thank you so much, Kujo-san. I’ll raise them lovingly!
Kirishima: Yeah. I can’t wait for the day that those Shrub Roses start blooming.
Rei: (An arch decorated with whitish-pink roses...)
Rei: (I’m sure it’ll be a magnificent sight to behold if Miyase-san’s the one raising them with love.)
Kirishima: ...Nuwareria and candy rufuna were…
Kirishima: Jumping, and then..
Kirishima: Ah- Damn it, it’s no good. I don’t know what’s head or tails anymore…
Rei: ……?
Kaname: Koya-kun, we’re leaving.
Kirishima: Hm? Oh, okay.
Rei: (Wonder what’s up with him?)
─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆
--And then, on the morning of the party itself.
Kirishima: Oh, Miyase. Sorry, but could you come along with me to buy some stuff?
Kirishima: I want to go look for milk that goes well with my new protein.
Miyase: Sure. Let’s head on to Akechi-ya then.
Miyase: They sell their original brand of milk down there so I think there’ll be a wide variety for you to choose from.
Kirishima: Seriously? Sounds fun. We’ll be heading out for a bit then!
Kaname: Okay, have a safe trip.
Kujo: Take care.
Kachak
Kaname: ...They’ve both just gone out of the gates.
Kujo: Then, allow the operation to commence.
Riiing, riiiiing
“Yes. This is Felicia Catering Services speaking.”
Kujo: Please proceed with the party preparations just like we’ve discussed.
“Roger.”
Beep
Kujo: ...This should do it. They’ll take care of things from here.
☆⋅⋆ …⋅─────────────────────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆
Investigation 2: Chapter 3
Miyase: I’m back!
Miyase: ……!
Miyase: What...in the world…?
Kirishima: Oh! This is perfect! As expected of a Pro; they’re really quick with their hands!
Kujo: I see that you’re back, Go.
Kirishima: Kujo-san, what’s with all of these…?
Kujo: We have decided to cordially hold a thank you party for you to thank you for your daily efforts.
Kujo: As such, you, the star of the party, should simply enjoy yourself.
Miyase: No...You didn’t have to go so far...as to do this much for someone like me…
Kirishima: It’s fine! Ya’ don’t have to do anything today. Just tuck into the food and drinks; sing and dance!
Kaname: Everyone just fancies such a lively set-up, so just let them take care of you for today.
Miyase: ...Thank you. I’ll take you guys up for your word then.
Kirishima: ‘Right! They’re gonna be here soon. Kaname, we’re gonna go prepare!
Kaname: Yes, yes.
─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆
The party reception had already begun by the time I reached the Kujo Manor.
Rei: (Oh! Kirishima-san and Kaname-kun are over there. Should I turn in my invitation over there instead?)
When I got close enough to the gates to call out to them--
Kirishima: ‘ELCOME!
Rei: ……!
Kaname: Koya-kun, this isn’t an Izakaya. Look, she’s clearly startled.
Kirishima: Oop, you’re right. I couldn’t help but to revert back to my usual habits.
Kirishima: ...Ahem. Welcome; we’ve been awaiting your arrival.
He bowed gracefully; elegantly.
Rei: !
Kirishima: ...How’s that?
Rei: Super cool!
Kirishima: Coolio! It’s thanks to the special training I received under Kaname.
Rei: You’re both really spectacular today. It’s almost as if you’re real butlers!
Kirishima: Well, that’s because the theme we have going today’s a Butler Cafe.
Rei: B-Butler Cafe?
Kaname: It’s a concept where we all become butlers and serve the customers hospitably.
Rei: I see, that’s an interesting concept.
Rei: Oh, right. Can I sign in here?
Kaname: Of course you can. Could I see your invitation?
I pulled out the invitation along with the envelope it was sealed in and watched as he stamped it.
Kaname: X makes the mark. Now you can enjoy all of the food and drinks we have prepared inside.
Kirishima: Do enjoy yourself to the fullest today.
Rei: Thank you. I’ll be heading on in then.
Kirishima & Kaname: Have a nice day.
I passed through the gate as they both saw me off.
☆⋅⋆ …⋅─────────────────────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆
Investigation 2: Chapter 4
Rei: (Wow. The table decorations are really extravagant.)
Rei: (All the food looks really tantalizing too. It makes me feel hungry just by looking at them…)
Miyase: Hello, Izumi-san. Welcome.
Rei: Miyase-kun! I guess...congratulations...for today?
Miyase: Hehe. You don’t have to be so formal; it’s all alright.
Rei: Here. This is just a small gift to thank you for your everyday efforts.
His expression softened as I handed him the wrapped package.
Miyase: ...This is?
Rei: An apron. I thought of it when I started thinking along the lines of getting you something that’ll be of daily use to you.
Miyase: ……!
Miyase: Thank you so much. I’m really happy. I’ll take good care of it and use it well!
Miyase: Still, all that being said...I never thought that there’d be so many people gathered here just for this.
Rei: I think everyone has gathered here because they’re all thankful towards you.
Miyase: I’ve not done anything at all. I’ve only simply taken care of the garden and made food for everyone...
Miyase: That’s all I’ve done, and yet they’ve thrown me such a spectacular party.
Miyase: It’s so brilliant that I feel it’s a waste on someone like me, who only does things that come naturally.
Rei: ...This is just my personal feelings;
Rei: But I think that you always make delicious food and the mansion’s always beautifully maintained.
Rei: And the tea you serve is also really calming.
Miyase: …...
Rei: So, I think that even if you feel that it’s only natural for you to be doing these things,
Rei: those actions of yours have made people thankful towards you and have also granted them happiness.
Rei: That’s why, today’s the day where they’re all gathered here to convey their feelings. So, I think they’ll be happy if you’ll watch over them.
Miyase: …...
Rei: Sorry, I got too caught up in the moment and said some weird things, didn’t I…?
Miyase: ...Thank you. It makes me feel a little better, somehow.
☆⋅⋆ …⋅─────────────────────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆
Investigation 2: Chapter 5
Sugano: Oh, it’s Rei! Good work~
Rei: Sugano-kun! Good work today too.
Sugano: Man~ There’s a real crowd in here. I’m really getting into the mood now!
Asagiri: Please remember to keep your alcohol consumption to a reasonable amount.
Sugano: Got’cha~
Aoyama: He’s not a kid so I’m sure he can control himself at least that much.
Asagiri: ……! Aoyama.
Asagiri: This has nothing to do with you; it’s a Investigation Planning Department problem.
Asagiri: Did you take any precautions against your own juniors?
Aoyama: Even if you ask me that, I’m pretty sure they’re all capable of controlling themselves.
Aoyama: The fact that you’re being so mouthy over this whole matter serves as further proof that you don’t have enough faith in your own juniors, don’t you think?
Asagiri: ...Oh?
Sugano: Ahaha, there they go again.
Rei: Hahaha…
Imaoji: Still, I never expected this many people to turn up; amazingly.
Yui: Ahh. What a great party this is with delicious wine to boot.
Yui: Who would’ve thought that I’d see Ch.Le Pin being served here.
Rei: Yui-san, since when did you obtain something like that?
Yui: It’s being put out on the catering table. You can go get some if you’d like to drink.
Rei: (It’s not even time to clink glasses and say cheers yet, but there he is. He really does things at his own pace at always...)
Imaoji: I hope Seki-san and Natsume-kun can make it in time.
Rei: You’re right. And Watabe-san too.
Hiyama: Izumi? You’re already here?
Rei: Hiyama-san! And Maki-kun too! It’s been such a long time...or so I’d like to say, but it hasn’t really been that long.
Maki: We somehow met each other again not too long ago for a bit.
Maki: Oh, right. Miyase-san, this is from Hatori and Aki.
Maki: They’re snacks that go well together with wine. Seems like they got it for you as an apology for being unable to come today.
Miyase: Thank you. I’ll treasure it.
Kyosuke: Thank goodness that I made it in time.
Rei: Kyosuke-kun! Is Makoto-san with you today as well?
Kyosuke: I tried calling him but he didn’t pick up.
Kyosuke: He’s probably still asleep since it looks like he pulled an all-nighter right before his current dateline.
Kyosuke: But he did say that he was coming to this party, so maybe he’ll make it just in time before the party ends.
Kawai: Oh, Rei-saaan!
Rei: Hikaru-kun! You came too?
Kawai: Yeah. We, of Seo Lab, got invitations too. Everyone’s here too~
Rei: Everyone came here?
Kawai: Yup. Ikuto-san’s has already gone off somewhere in that direction though.
Looking in the direction of where Hikaru-kun pointed at, I spotted him having a friendly chat with Hiyama-san.
Rei: (As canny as ever, I see...)
───⋅𝕿𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖓𝖊𝖝𝖙 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊…⋆⋅☆
#Stand My Heroes#スタンドマイヒーローズ#スタマイ#Sutamai#Translations#Otome#花ざかりのSwallow tail#Swallow Tail in Full Bloom#Asagiri Tsukasa#Sunago Natsuki#Aoyama Itsuki#Imaoji Shun#Maki Keita#Kotaro Yui#Kawai Hikaru#Hinata Shion#Miyase Go#Kirishima Koya#Yamazaki Kaname#Tsuduki Kyosuke#Hiyama Takaomi#Shindou Kiyoshi
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