#PLEASE REBLOG I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS

[menthol--crush]

Ok here we go. This here is Blaine Anderson's birth chart! I put his birthday down as April 14, 1992.

Overview:

Aries sun

Virgo moon

Pisces mercury

Aries Venus

Pisces mars

Virgo Jupiter

Aquarius Saturn

Capricorn Uranus

Capricorn Neptune

Scorpio Pluto

House 1 (Ascendant) in Cancer

House 2 in Leo

House 3 in Virgo

House 4 in Libra

House 5 in Scorpio

House 6 in Sagittarius

House 7 in Capricorn

House 8 in Aquarius

House 9 in Pisces

House 10 (Midheaven) in Aries

House 11 in Taurus

House 12 in Gemini

Sun in 10

Moon in 3

Mercury in 9

Venus in 10

Mars in 9

Jupiter in 3

Saturn in 8

Uranus in 6

Neptune in 7

Pluto in 5

Click through to read my interpretation of each of these. This post is VERY LONG.

Let's start with the planets. These are like facets of your self, how you are perceived and how you interact with the world. The signs they're in are like a lens through which you view that aspect of your life, and sometimes that lens is easy to see through, sometimes not.

The inner planets are, put simply, about the individual on a personal level. The further out you go, the slower a planet moves, and it's influence grows from personal to generational.

--- Sun in Aries ---

The sun in astrology is basically you in summary. If you were a novel, your sun sign would be the synopsis on the back.

Blaine is such an Aries, okay, like listen. I know Aries has a reputation for being a hothead, since it's a fire sign, but we DO see that tendency in Blaine! He gets snappy with Kurt in BIOTA and storms off. He gets in Karofsky's face and shoves him in NoN, and later snaps at Sandy Ryerson over the heckling. He famously gets in a little tussle with Sam about doing sexy dance moves and storms out. He gets so mad about Sam, and also Finn getting on his case, that he's next seen punching a punching bag.

Angry outbursts aren't all that Aries sun is known for, though. They're impulsive and naive, but also driven by passion. Aries is ruled by Mars, which is the planet of passion, strength, and temperament. Blaine is indeed passionate, driven, and very impulsive. When he has a crush on Jeremiah, he decides the best course of action is to not JUST serenade him, but to organize an entire flashmob set to When I Get You Alone at Jeremiah's workplace. A normal person would, at the very least, wait until Jeremiah had clocked out before singing a song about having sex with them as a romantic gesture.

The Gap Attack is THE classic example of Blaine being impulsive, but it does go beyond that. He kisses Rachel while playing spin the bottle and, based solely on this one drunken experience, after unequivocally identifying as gay for who knows how long, thinks he might be bi. No other bi moments, no other instances of being attracted to a girl, just a drunk kiss at a party.

But wait there's more! Blaine is a natural leader, like most Aries sun people; he is the lead singer of the Warblers, but when Kurt calls him out on hogging the spotlight he tries to change their set list. In New Directions, he doesn't try to overstep with Finn being the unofficially official male lead, but still tries to offer advice and bolster his teammates.

On the negative side, though, he's so focused on his immediate goals that he loses track of details. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac cycle and therefore doesn't have the 'experience' of other signs. Blaine is naive, and more concerned with immediate satisfaction instead of long-term planning. He tries to have sex with Kurt in the back of the station wagon, he tries to deal with his fear of failure and not getting into NYADA by saying he's always wanted to be a doctor. By doing that, he's trying to immediately stop the fear by saying he wants something, fully believing his own lie.

--- Moon in Virgo ---

The moon in astrology is your emotions, your intuition, your hidden self. Virgo is an earth sign and represents practicality, aesthetic, and a focus on detail.

Blaine is well known in the fandom for having some pretty emotional moments, even outbursts. I think these moments come from things not working out as Blaine planned, as a Virgo moon person would be the type to analyze a situation to mentally rehearse their emotional response.

As for his inner self, this placement tells me that he is a perfectionist when it comes to his own achievements, and he probably obsesses over details in things like performances. In fact, he does do this, after opening night of WSS, Kurt finds Blaine going over a dance step that he says he didn't get quite right. Other than being upset about what happened between him and Kurt earlier (the fight they had as they were leaving the gay bar), it tracks with this placement that Blaine would forgo celebrating opening night over perfecting a single dance step that likely no one else noticed he didn't hit exactly.

--- Mercury in Pisces ---

Mercury is your intellect, how your brain works, how you get along with others and how you make friends. It's your logic, how you communicate, how well you get along with technology and any profession that classically used roads (messengers, doctors, thieves, etc)

Having Mercury, the planet of intellect, in Pisces, the sign of dreamers, makes Blaine pretty susceptible to getting lost in daydreams and fantasies. We kind of see this with his infatuation with Jeremiah; he builds up the relationship in his head to a point that, after meeting with him twice for coffee, Blaine thinks it's high time to serenade him. It makes sense to Blaine, because he's imagined their whole life together ("if he and I got married, the Gap would give me a 50% discount.")

Pisces is also famously a very mild-mannered sign, and tends to temper any planet within it. He might be very intelligent, but isn't a show-off about it.

When communicating, Blaine might be more prone to using wild analogies. He might even be the type to start talking about something, space out while his mind runs at full speed but the conversation carries on at a normal pace, then jump back into conversation miles ahead of everyone else. So like, he is prone to overthinking.

--- Venus in Aries ---

HE JUST WANTS TO BE SPONTANEOUS AND FUN!!

As mentioned already, Aries is a fire sign. Venus is the planet of love, but also of aesthetics and beauty. Like Mars, Venus rules passion, but while Mars is more driving- force passion, Venus is the sexual passion.

For aesthetic, this placement is very bright colors, very LOOK AT ME! which tracks with Blaine's later-season fashion choices lol. Looking at his bedroom, I can see the Aries influence; though his walls are dark, they're not black like Santana (an obvious Scorpio) but a dark grey. He has some trophies on display, showing off his achievements, and of course his vintage cameras.

Blaine's obsession with vintage most likely comes more from his Mercury, like i would expect it to be a hobby instead of a purely aesthetic choice. He doesn't dress like that and talk like that and have old cameras and a boom box etc etc because he thinks it looks cool, it's because he's genuinely interested in it.

Anyway lol

Venus is actually in detriment in Aries. This means that the concepts and traits of Venus have a hard time being expressed through the lens of Aries. This would explain why Blaine doesn't really know what he wants in love, and seems to instead base his idea of romance on things that he sees in performances. Aries is brash and bold and a little unsteady, and Venus being love and softness clashes with that.

This also means that when Blaine loves, he loves HARD. Aries is all or nothing, and that's how Blaine is in relationships. He wants to give everything he is, and he expects the other person to give the same, which i think is part of why he and Kurt have the issues that they do. Kurt doesn't want to give himself fully and completely over to another person (i suspect he has Venus in Aquarius or Sagittarius) but Blaine needs that. If he can't get it, he feels the relationship is one-sided and unfair to him, that he's giving more than he's getting.

I would say the only other Venus signs more intense than Aries in a relationship would be Scorpio and maybe Taurus, but their intensity is different. Scorpio is intensity personified. Venus Scorpio wants to own you. Taurus Venus wants to spoil you rotten, they give 100%. Aries, being a detriment for Venus, would be intense in love because 1. Aries is a bonfire of a sign 2. Being in detriment causes conflict which fuels the Aries fire 3. Aries as a sign is used to being up front, and when any kind of miscommunication happens they might take it very personally. Miscommunication is likely to happen with Venus in detriment.

--- Mars in Pisces ---

Oh God here we fuckin go lol

Mars in Pisces is one of those things i see on a birth chart and say "oh so THAT'S why they're like that" 😅

Listen. Mars is the planet of action. As mentioned in the Venus section, Mars is also passion, though more of what drives you to act. It's also your temperament, what you fight for, and your ego.

Also mentioned above, Pisces is a very dreamy sign. Having Mars here makes someone much harder to anger, but when they do get mad, it's in a very passive-aggressive way.

This placement also indicates a desire to be in the arts in some capacity, to create things. On at least one occasion (and one that wasn't real so it being canon is debatable) Blaine wants to "make art and help people". This is so Martian Pisces it might as well be the slogan for this placement.

Blaine is not a fan of angry confrontation; you might think this contradicts a few moments, like when he confronts Karofsky or snaps at Sandy Ryerson. But just hold up a minute lemme explain.

With Karofsky, Blaine isn't looking for a fight. He's there for Kurt, not his own ego or anything. He's actually very kind and understanding to Karofsky, and Karofsky is the one that escalates that by shoving Blaine into the fence. And Blaine immediately folds, holding up his hands defensively and lowering his gaze, not saying anything further, completely backing down.

For the Sandy Ryerson moment, this is just Martian Pisces anger. They do get angry and fed up like anyone else; it's important to note that once again, it's in defense of someone else (namely, the ND kids who are being heckled).

The one moment I can think of where Blaine really blows up and gets truly angry is after he loses it when Sam says they should do more sexy moves; Finn later finds Blaine in the gym's weight room, hitting a punching bag, very angry. This is anger built up over several weeks of Finn giving him a hard time out of jealousy; Blaine blows up on Sam, likely not appreciating that Sam called his little spin move "totally boyband". So to work off that angry energy, Blaine turns to boxing. So he does have an outlet for his anger, meaning he knows how to deal with it and prefers to deal with it alone rather than take it out on someone else.

As soon as Finn comes clean and admits he's jealous, Blaine is no longer angry with him and is able to work with Finn completely. Pisces is a very friendly sign, and wants to get along as much as possible (second only to Libra in that regard). He doesn't want to stay angry, unlike other water signs (Scorpio and Cancer), who will hold on to a grudge until they feel they've gotten retribution (Scorpio) or you've learned your lesson (Cancer).

Of course, Mars is so much more than just being big mad. Blaine is a born performer, but not in a Rachel Berry way of needing perfection and adoration. Instead, Blaine loves performing because it allows him to express emotion (Cough Syrup, Fighter, Against All Odds; he actually outright says that he knows how to express things in song but not in actions) and be his truest self. Pisces is ruled by Neptune, the planet of dreams, creativity, illusion and escapism, just to give you an idea of this energy as its manifested by Mars.

Short version: Blaine is creative and non-confrontational, driven by his passion for performing, and just wants to get along with everyone.

---

Those are all the inner planets. The outer planets, which move much slower from our perspective, have a broader reach than just personal.

--- Jupiter in Virgo ---

Jupiter is the planet of expansion, growth, and luck. As mentioned with the moon sign, Virgo is an earth sign that likes order and detail.

Having this placement means that Blaine benefits most when doing work for others. This in combination with his Aries sun make him a good leader; he can take charge, but he also finds growth in service to others. We see this in how he integrates himself into ND, not by immediately trying to take on the role as leader (something that one might expect from an Aries sun, but his Mars greatly tempers his ambition so it's more internal) but by building up his teammates. He backs up Finn with his morale-boosting speeches and encourages Rory to take a solo, etc. He wants the team to succeed and knows that to do that, he needs to help those that need it.

This is also where Blaine finds personal growth. Again, he says he wants to "make art and help people." He is also detail-oriented and a hard worker.

Jupiter is in detriment in Virgo, which indicates that Blaine might not even WANT to be a leader, not completely, because he feels like it would too quickly go to his head. He might be afraid of having that much power, of having the expectation of carrying the entire team, and instead prefers to work as an equal member of a team.

--- Saturn in Aquarius ---

Saturn is the planet of responsibility, obligation, and discipline. Aquarius is all about individuality, independence, and humanitarianism.

Patrick Watson (patrickwatsonastrology.com) describes this placement as an anti-hero, especially when paired against Sun in Leo.

At first glance, this might not seem to fit with Blaine, but that's because we're looking at the concept on a more grand scale than is necessary. Translated to a teenager in a high school show choir, I think this is Blaine's dark side. This is where the idea to cheat on Kurt came from.

"Kurt is ignoring me, he must not love me anymore. I'm going to act out in a way that will get his attention so I can find out if he does love me." There's also Blaine's need for attention seen elsewhere in his chart, but I think his Saturn plays into it a fair bit. Blaine was attempting to take the situation (Kurt getting distant) entirely into his own hands (a very Aquarius thing to do) to have a sense of control.

And then, of course, he does own up to it immediately when Kurt presses him on it. He takes full responsibility of what he did, is fully transparent about it, but his motives for doing it are a little hard to convey.

It also comes up when he accidentally gives away ND's setlist to the Warblers, and how he attempts to fix it. He gave Sebastian the setlist not out of loyalty to the Warblers, but purely by accident (his Aries naivety) and he fully commits to fixing it by owning up to the mistake and challenging the Warblers for the right to perform Michael Jackson (Aquarius Saturn determination).

This placement also shows how determined Blaine is. This pairs pretty well with his Virgo Jupiter, and having a good work ethic probably comes very naturally to him.

--- Uranus in Capricorn ---

Uranus is known as the Great Awakener. This is progress, change, and rebellion. Blaine has his in Capricorn, the sign most associated with hard workers.

He really does have quite a few apparent opposites in his chart, which is interesting.

Anyway, this means that Blaine is innovative and hardworking and very ambitious. It also makes him a bit of a control freak.

--- Neptune in Capricorn ---

Neptune is the planet of illusions, dreams and inspiration. Capricorn is the sign of hard work. This is a generational planet; Neptune stays in a sign for over a decade.

This placement brings success in artistic endeavors, as well as questioning structure such as family and society.

--- Pluto in Scorpio ---

This is another generational planet, and is pretty much only good for looking at the generation itself since it's so far out and moves so slowly. Scorpio is the sign of destruction and rebirth, deep passion, secrecy, and intensity.

Pluto in Scorpio makes Blaine a millennial, though a late one. This generation experienced the destruction and rebirth of society, the economy, and technology. As a later millennial, Blaine would still be relatively safe from the collapsing economy in 2008 as he was still a minor at the time, but he would still see the impact of it.

On the brighter side, though, this also means he grew up with technological advances that opened up the entire world in a way never before seen, mostly the internet.

---

For the houses, I'll go into the Ascendant in some detail but give a brief description of the rest of them.

--- House 1/Ascendant: Cancer ---

Remember that book analogy i used with the sun sign? How your sun is the synopsis on the back? Well, your Ascendant is the first chapter. It's the hook. This is the first impression people have of you.

I put Blaine's ascendant in Cancer. He gives off very warm, caring energy, though with a sense of depth that can be off-putting to some. This is also Blaine swooping in to help Kurt, how he notices Kurt is upset after Teenage Dream and wants to alleviate whatever is bothering him.

He can also be very moody, giving in quite frequently to his emotions, or even just having a hard time hiding what he's really feeling.

This placement also means that Blaine's chart is ruled by the moon. His emotions guide his life, he has strong instincts and a desire to protect. When he gets dropped from NYADA, it's because his emotions took him over and he couldn't focus on his school work.

--- House 2: Leo ---

The second house is your material possessions and wealth.

Having any fire sign here can be good, but having Leo here means that Blaine would be best served finding a career that allows him freedom of expression, and plenty of opportunities to shine in the spotlight.

--- House 3: Virgo ---

The third house governs communication, learning, and immediate relationships, like cousins and siblings as well as how you relate to your immediate surroundings.

Having Virgo here indicates strong and clear communication, though also a tendency for perfectionism. In school, Blaine would be a meticulous note-taker with perfectly organized folders, and likely has very neat and legible handwriting.

--- House 4: Libra ---

The fourth house is the home and family.

Blaine would be the mediator at home, always wanting everyone to get along. Libra is the sign of justice, but also of people-pleasers. He goes along with his dad rebuilding a car with him because it keeps the peace.

--- House 5: Scorpio ---

OH BOY LMAO

The fifth house is romance, self-expression, and pleasure.

Scorpio is well known for being passionate and intense. This is where Blaine's clinginess comes from. Scorpio is a highly possessive sign, so in romance Blaine wants to know that whomever he is with has eyes only for him. Blaine wants to be wanted.

His self-expression is very deep and meaningful, and he might even have trouble fully expressing what he's feeling due to Scorpio being so secretive.

--- House 6: Sagittarius ---

The sixth house is the house of work, health, and routine.

This is where the Dalton Fight Club comes from, especially since Blaine kept boxing after coming to McKinley. Sagittarius is the sign of freedom, and Blaine would want to maintain his health and wellness with his own schedule and on his own terms.

As for routines, he would not particularly like a rigid routine, but instead prefer some flexibility.

--- House 7: Capricorn ---

The seventh house is commonly referred to the house of marriage and partnership.

Blaine wants stability in a relationship, and he has a strong desire for commitment.

--- House 8: Aquarius ---

The eighth house represents death, transformation, power, and sex.

Blaine is constantly looking for ways to improve as a person, reinventing himself to move forward. He also likes feeling united with others, which could be why he thrived at Dalton while a member of the Warblers, and had such a hard time at McKinley when he felt isolated.

--- House 9: Pisces ---

The ninth house is faith, travel, and philosophy.

Blaine might have a very nebulous relationship with religion and faith. This placement makes me think he would be agnostic.

--- House 10/Midheaven: Aries ---

The Midheaven is public image, achievements, and career. In the book analogy, this is the height of the plot.

Here is Blaine's natural confidence, especially when combined with his sun sign also being Aries. Having his sun AND MC in Aries makes him almost overly confident, very driven, and naive to a baffling degree.

This also can manifest as immaturity and naivety in career, since Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. We don't really see much of Blaine in his career, but we do see him in college, where he clings to Kurt (also influenced by his 5th house placement). I imagine that, while he is very driven and ambitious, getting kicked out of NYADA for failing grades really humbled him. Fear of failure is big with Aries, and he likely held on to such a big failure for a long time to keep from straying again.

--- House 11: Taurus ---

The eleventh house represents hopes and dreams, close friendships, collective goals, and financial success.

Blaine easily makes friends and brings a sense of stability to his relationships with friends. He is often the rock that Tina clings to in seasons 4 and 5, and he is happy to support Sam and build him back up when he's feeling low about his body image.

Blaine has a realistic vision for the future, likely looking forward to a nice domestic-bliss life.

--- House 12: Gemini ---

The twelfth house is intuition, the hidden self, and secrecy.

Blaine likely dwells on his past. He also needs occasional solitude for introspection. He also has an active imagination.

This might contribute to his difficulty in expressing himself as well.

---

Finally, the house placements of the planets!

Sun in 10: strong initiative, natural leader, confident. Naive, immature, impulsive

Moon in 3: intellectual, highly detail-oriented, perfectionist

Mercury in 9: studious, curious, loves connecting with people

Venus in 10: charming, loves his vintage aesthetic, overly concerned with appearance

Mars in 9: adventurous, can be prone to conflict when he encounters different viewpoints that clash with his (ie Sam and his stripper dance moves lol)

Jupiter in 3: easily acclimates to new environments, also his older brother likely would've been overprotective.

Saturn in 8: strong desire to conquer his fears, but also karmic lessons on trust.

Uranus in 6: innovative approach to daily life, career changes likely

Neptune in 7: idealism, deep emotional connection with his partners, heightened sensitivity in relationships.

Pluto in 5: "...might have a tendency to react intensely to small issues in their romantic life, creating dramatic scenes that can strain the relationship" taken directly from therhetoricofmagic.com bc IF THAT AIN'T BLAINE TO A T

---

So that's Blaine's birth chart! I did not go over aspects as this is long enough, and I also skipped the asteroids like Lilith and Chiron.

Basic overview:

Blaine is charming and ambitious, easy to get along with, kind of a lot to handle in a relationship, and prone to dramatics, naivety, and daydreaming. He has an eye for detail, and is very driven by his emotions. He is a natural leader, but prefers to lift up his teammates and work as equals rather than be above them in any capacity.

[zevrra]

𝐝𝐨 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰?

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩: pervy!jayce gets caught in the lab being anything but a golden boy, so you have to tease him just a little bit.

𝐰𝐜: 3.8k

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬: nsfw, fem!reader, pervy!jayce, lil bit of exhibitionism, jayce gets caught red handed being a perv, cunnilingus (oral f receiving), jayce is pathetic, reader tops jayce, clothed sex, foot-job, dirty talk, jayce makes a mess in his pants :3

𝐚/𝐧: part 2…hopefully soon…

Oh he was pathetic. It was just a jacket for fuck’s sake…but it was your jacket.

Jayce runs his fingers down along the hem of the lighter fabric, his fingers trembling ever so slightly as he caresses the jacket. It had been forgotten in the after hours of the lab but there was no reason to worry; for now it was in his possession. Where he’d worship it, take such good care of if. Treat it as perfectly as he would treat you.

And while he knew better than to let this possessive, weaker side of himself slip out when he wasn’t at home; he couldn’t help it. Your jacket was right here, in his grasp, and wanted nothing but to have you. And it certainly did not help when the only thing he could smell was your intoxicating perfume clinging to the cloth, fueling his need even further.

He lifts the closest sleeve of the jacket to his face, pressing it directly into the side of his cheek where he blends into the fabric. He lets his mind imagine it as your hand touching him instead of the cool of the jacket. He smoothes the fabric across his lips, planting a kiss against what he imagines is your knuckles. His lips trail along the seam of your jacket sleeve, pressing kiss after kiss into your arm, until he reaches the collar.

God, how sweet would your skin taste? Would you moan his name? How wet could you get just from kissing and him absolutely desiring you?

“Fuck…this is bad.” Jayce whispers under his breath, feeling himself grow, tightening inside of his pants.

He presses the collar of the jacket around his nose, taking in the deepest breath that he could; practically inhaling the perfume you wore. He imagines pressing his nose right up against the curve of your neck, breathing in even deeper against your skin, while his hands run up along the curve of your back. With the jacket clasped in his grip he can almost completely imagine hugging around you, enveloping you entirely within his grasp; and it makes him so fucking hard. Thinking about the front of your body pressed directly against his own. Getting to feel your heart pound directly through your ribcage as he kisses you. Fuck, getting to touch you, feel every inch of your body; would you tremble beneath his hands? How hard would you grip his biceps when he slipped a hand down the front of your chest and touched between your thighs? His very creative imagination and the huff of every deep breath he took of your perfume, oh god it was a recipe for disaster.

“I know I shouldn’t…” He mutters into the empty room, as if he’s trying to talk himself out of doing what his mind so desperately wanted…but fuck if he wasn’t going to do what he wanted. So there he was, in the lab, sliding into the chair he normally sat in during the day, palming the front of his pants while every single little voice in his head told him it was a terrible, horrible idea. Of course he had done other…promiscuous things…to the thought of you but never in public. Never in the lab of all places; where he had just spent the entire day trying his best not to think about you, fearing he’d get hard.

God, he really, really was pathetic.

He moves to lay your jacket across his chest, keeping the collar curled up as close to his nose as he could, while his other hand travelled down his chest. He inhales that pretty perfume of yours into his lungs with every breath he takes, undoing the front of his pants and slipping his fingers right beneath the waistband of his underwear. His fingers curl around the thick of his stiff base, taking a deep breath at the same time his hand rises to the head of his cock, where Jayce groans heavily at his own touch. He bites his bottom lip as he daydreams about your hand wrapped around him instead. He couldn’t help but wonder how your fingers would feel rubbing over his head instead of his own. How soft they would be, how reactive he would be to your touch. Would you use your mouth? God, just the idea of it makes his hips jerk and his fingers stumble.

“Jayce?”

He could almost imagine how sweet your voice would be calling out his name. The breathless whine that would slip between your lips as your tongue tastes every inch of him and his name. He softly grunts at the thought of you sucking him off; how much could you take of his aching cock without crying while he tried his hardest not to fuck into the back of your throat.

“Uh…Jayce?”

The ring of his name this time was different…more real. Suddenly, Jayce is realizing he wouldn’t imagine you calling his name with such confusion. He quickly turns towards where your voice comes from. And when his eyes find you, standing in the doorway of the lab, he freezes like an animal caught in headlights.

You had cursed yourself for leaving behind your jacket. Halfway home and shivering, you almost gave up on going back for it but then you’d never hear the end of it from Jayce or Viktor. Getting scolded first thing in the morning about leaving your belongings around in the lab was not something you wanted so you had no choice. Halfway home, you unfortunately have to turn around and sneak your way back into the lab. But when you get back to the lab, strangely enough, the door is still unlocked. And what you find inside is Jayce Talis, Piltover’s golden boy, stretched out in his chair, gripping your jacket as close as he possibly can, as he strokes himself off.

At first you can’t even find the words to speak to get his attention. On one hand, you almost don’t want to say anything; too interested in how far he’d go or how long it would take him to notice you were standing, watching him as he committed this unholy act. Wondering what scene he was imagining in that moment that made him huff and groan the way he was. But on the other hand, he was certainly imagining you…and that was something you needed more detail about immediately.

“Jayce?” You call out, stepping closer to the chair he has seated himself in. When he doesn’t jump at your voice, you speak up once again. “Uh…Jayce?” This time, your voice shocks him back to reality.

Jayce turns to you, fear glistening in his pretty eyes, as he stares at you with his hand thoroughly shoved under his underwear and wrapped around himself. Your jacket lays coddled against his chest and nose—oh he was in deep. And all it did was make you smile.

He had been ignoring you for weeks now. Short, curt conversations; fleeing the lab whenever the opportunity arose. He avoided your gaze anytime the two of you were in the same room, staring at something else to keep himself busy. You assumed he had found out about your own feelings for him and was avoiding you at all costs but no…now you finally knew the reasoning behind it all.

“This! This isn’t! I’m so…I!” Jayce stammers, ripping his hand out of his pants and away from his body, attempting to cover himself while he also yanks the jacket away from his chest. He moves to stand but you plant a hand firmly on his shoulder and force him to stay in his seat.

You take the jacket out of his hand, tossing it over onto the desk adjacent to you. It wasn’t going to be of use anymore. “I would’ve never guessed that the Golden Boy of the council would be doing something so…scandalous.” You hum, a wide smile stretching across your lips.

Jayce stares up at you, a nervous flush stretching across his face. And he knows he could break free of your grip but why would he? You caught him, could blackmail him with whatever you wanted…but all he wanted was you. So why would he run away when he could get even the slightest bit of your attention. He’d just continue to turn red and be embarrassed about it; as if he didn’t enjoy it.

“What would they think of you?” You continue, sliding your hand along his shoulder before fiddling with the tie he wore every day. You tug the clothing item out from its usual position, twirling the red tie between your fingers. “All that money they give you to fund this lab and here you are jerking yourself off in it. How shameful.” You snicker, letting go of his tie. Watching with a smile as he struggles to defend himself but never attempts to hide the tightening in his boxers.

Oh, Jayce loved this.

Without another word, you lift yourself onto the top of the desk, curling a single finger to order Jayce to scoot closer to you; and he does without an ounce of hesitation. You slip out of your shoes before pressing a foot right up against the bulge in his underwear. You add just a little pressure and it makes Jayce groan.

“Jayce Talis the Pervert.” You nickname the large man who trembles under your touch. Moving the flat of your foot across the length of his shaft still hidden beneath his underwear. Even with him hiding inside of his boxers, you can clearly feel how big he is. You could clearly see it in comparison to your own foot snug up against him. Brains, brawn, and well endowed? Jayce just had it all. And you were lucky enough that he wanted no one but you.

“I’m not!” Jayce starts to speak up, to attempt to defend himself from any further embarrassment but it falters with another press of your foot against his aching cock.

You chuckle at the way he shivers and effectively shuts up with just a little pressure against his lower half. He tenses under your touch, gripping the chair with both hands while his gaze struggles to meet your own; too afraid to look you in the eye now. All that confidence of him touching himself inside the lab, where anyone could have found him, is all but completely gone now. He’s perfectly golden and obedient once more.

“Jayce.” Your voice rings out and he begrudgingly lifts his eyes to meet yours, eyelashes fluttering as he stares at you. “Tell me what you were thinking about and take off my pants.”

Jayce hesitates now, worry coloring his gaze as he glances up at you in an attempt to see if you were fooling him. But you stay silent, waiting for him to act and when he sees that you’re not joking, that he isn’t dreaming, his hands move to the front of your pants. He adjusts himself the best he can as he begins to remove them. “I was uh…thinking about…you...” Jayce whispers with an awkward laugh following as he yanks off your pants in a hurry. Like you might change your mind if he isn’t quick enough. “I was thinking about your touch and maybe where you would touch me if I ever got the chance to…be with…you.” He admits in a shameful tone.

You stifle a laugh at his embarrassment, pressing between his thighs once again and causing him to grunt. “Touching you like this?” You ask, lifting an eyebrow and you can feel him twitch beneath your toes.

He whines, bottom lip trembling. “Sorta…” He mutters, turning his gaze away from yours. “I imagined your fingers and your mouth…”

“Oh poor pervert Jayce, this isn’t enough for you?”

“No!” Jayce blurts out, scooting even closer in between your legs, forcing your foot to fully weigh down onto his shaft. “It’s good! Please, it's good.” He begs.

You smirk at his eagerness. Raising a hand to caress the side of his face where he melts into your touch. Probably another thing he’s craved for so long. You rub your thumb across the high of his cheekbone while his eyes stare up at you, begging, yearning, waiting for you to speak.

“On your knees.” You hum, scooting closer to the edge of the desk.

He falls immediately to his knees, adjusting himself as close as he can to you. His hands grip either side of your thighs, thumbs rubbing circles as he waits for more orders.

Your reposition your foot up against his twitching cock once again while he nuzzles his head between your thighs, right up against your knee. He draws his fingers against your skin, pretty eyes staring up at you. He soaks up every second with you. Finally getting to touch you and he was desperate to keep you. “I’ve wanted you for so long.” Jayce admits, pressing a kiss against your knee. “I’ve wanted you so badly…please let me have you now. Even though I’ve been bad, I know I can be a good boy for you.” He mumbles softly against your skin before trailing kisses up along your inner thigh, his own hips rolling forward into the flat of your foot. Grinding into your foot like the depraved man that he was. His pretty hazel eyes stare up at you, pleading, begging you to let him make you his; but you wouldn’t break, not yet. He’d have to prove himself first.

“How good?” You ask, running a hand through the waves of his hair, as you give him a soft smile.

A red blush stretches across his face as he glances from your eyes, trailing down to your core just inches away from his lips. “I’ll be so good.” Jayce mutters before he leans forward, pressing his lips directly into your cunt, right over your underwear. His gaze returns to lock with your own, staring up at you as he does. “Please,” He mutters, hot and heavy against your clit. “Let me touch you…I’m begging. I’ll be good…” Jayce whispers as he continues to press kiss after kiss right into the curve of your core. His hips jerk again to further grind himself into your foot as his fingers grip around your thighs. “Please…”

You can’t help but chuckle again at his eagerness, softly groaning as he presses a kiss flush against your clit once more. “No. Perverts don’t get what they want.” You respond with a soft laugh.

Jayce whines but continues to rut himself against your foot. Pretty eyes pleading up at you as he does so, placing another steamy kiss right over your panties. “Not a pervert…” He mutters in an attempt to save face.

“No? Jerking yourself off in public? While thinking about me and using my jacket? Tsk, tsk. What if someone from the council saw you, pervert.” You respond with a smile.

Jayce adverts your gaze then, focusing on only lapping between your thighs instead. Didn’t want you to see it in his eyes how not-so-perfect he’s been, even if he admits that he isn’t as golden as he seems.

“I bet it isn’t the first time either.” You hum, pressing your foot directly into his stiff cock and forcing him to shudder. “I’ve noticed you staying late at the lab, just assumed it was you doing some overtime but no. You were touching yourself weren’t you? Pervert.” You chuckle at his weak, pathetic whine that slips from his lips at your touch.

“Can’t help it…you’re just so perfect…” He whines before looking away in shame before continuing to mouth at your cunt and grind into your foot. But you knew better, he wasn’t as ashamed as he probably should have been; no, he was entirely aroused, could feel it in every twitch under your foot. Could even see it in the blush that flushed across his cheeks like a red river. Sure, he was embarrassed about being caught but it was almost like he wanted to be caught…he wanted you to know how deprived he was for you, especially now that he didn’t have to pretend or sneak around.

But you’d drag it out as long as you could, just to tease him just a little more. ”And I don’t even want to mention the clothes I’ve been missing.”

This time with a little more force and roughness, you press into his head with your foot. Causing Jayce to harshly gasp at your words and from the pressure on his cock. A deep moan echoes from within his chest at the accusation…the rightful accusation.

“‘M sorry!” Jayce huffs, tears jumping to the corners of his eyes. “I was going to return them, I swear!” He claims, once again trying to save his skin.

Although you truly doubted he had ever planned on returning your clothes and that they would forever be used for his pleasure. His only bonus is that now he didn’t have to steal your clothes unless you wanted him too. You chuckle again softly, running your fingers through his hair and giving it a sharp tug, forcing him to look up at you. “Doesn’t matter right now, be a good little pervert and make it up to me. Please me and don’t use your hands.” You order.

Jayce is far too eager to please. He huffs against your cunt, using his teeth to yank your panties to the side and pressing his mouth against your wet core. He grunts, nose flush to your body as he sucks harshly along your skin. His tongue lashes out, pushing through the slick folds of your pussy. His tongue moves to dance against your clit, relishing the way you suck a sharp breath through your teeth, before diving back in between your lips.

Keeping his hands rightfully out of the way, gripping your thighs just like you told him, and he moans at your taste. Jayce presses his tongue inside of you briefly before licking right back up to your clit. He rolls any spit off his tongue back onto your cunt, whimpering your name as he dives as deep as he can. He’s messy eating you out, tasting every inch and every drop of your slick that he can. His eyes practically roll into the back of his head as he finally gets something he’s been craving for weeks or even longer. He’s desperately lapping at your cunt like a man finally getting the first sip of water after weeks of dehydration. You wouldn’t have imagined how sloppy Jayce is, smearing every drop of slick and his spit along his chin as he eats you out. He’s grunting, moaning against your core while his hips continue to jerk forward; fucking his cock right up against the foot that still presses into him.

A sob breaks from your lips, instinctively your hand grips Jayce’s hair tighter. Your own hips jerking as his tongue wiggles against your clit. “Fuck. You’re good at this pervert…you’ve been daydreaming about it for so long haven’t you?” You moan, sucking in a sharp breath when Jayce sucks harsh against your core. You bite down on your bottom lip when he responds with a whimper of his own. “Wonder what else my little pervert has been daydreaming about.”

Jayce doesn’t answer though, just whines because he knows how perverted he truly has been. You could imagine how many countless dreams he’s had of you, touching you, tasting you, getting to fuck you to his hearts desire; waking up with morning wood, having to hide massive hard on’s when you two simply stood in the room together. You could imagine it all.

“Mmph…please.” Jayce finally breaks, leaning back ever so slightly, letting you see how messy he truly is. Where your slick dawns his face and smears across his lips. Sticks to his smooth, flushed face; so wet you can even see the strings of his saliva gleaming, still attached to your cunt. He doesn’t give you the chance to answer right away though, desperately lapping at your core again in an attempt to persuade you even further. His breath slips in and out quickly, ragged huffs of air as he moves his hips faster and faster. He grunts heavy against your cunt, sucking harshly on your clit, wild and chaotic as he seeks out his orgasm. His big eyes plead with you while his mouth is busy, begging to let him come.

“Ugh…” You groan, trying your hardest not to pant as badly as he was, fingers tightening in his hair. It was so hot. How desperate and pathetic he was that he was willing to get off on just your foot, just because that’s what you wanted. God, you’re so glad that you came back for your stupid jacket tonight or else you would never have known this side of Jayce. “Mhm, go ahead. A good boy like you deserves a reward.”

Jayce hiccups at your approval, because finally, his fingers move to grip around your calf where he lifts his entire body up to fully thrust against your foot. He eagerly ruts into you while attempting to place kisses along your thighs but it’s all too much for him to handle. He’s hunching over, a mix of your name and whimpers leave his lips as he reaches his high. His orgasm hits him, hard, causing him to shutter and tremble against the sole of your foot. You watch as his mouth falls open with a strangled sob as he cums inside his underwear and directly against your foot. And he doesn’t stop moving until he’s finished entirely with his orgasm. His entire body trembles as his head hangs low but he continues to keep his hands on your leg. Running his fingers up along your calf before kneading into the thick of your thigh to ground himself as he calms down from his orgasm.

When he’s spent, his hazel eyes are glancing up at your pretty face. Where he dawns a lopsided smile that matches the euphoric glint to his eyes.

“Please,” Jayce begins to beg again, his voice hoarse from his previous sobs. “Let me fuck you. I know I’ve been bad but please, I’ll fuck you so good…I’ll be so good...”

You smile, bitting down on your bottom lip to try and contain your giddiness. Not only did you have THE Jayce Talis, a man wanted by so many, getting off on your foot alone; here he was, on his knees, begging to fuck you. You move the hand tangled in his hair down along his jaw, caressing his face once more. “Take the rest of your clothes off then. And you better keep your word, or I’ll have to tell everyone in Piltover what a pervert you are.” You respond. But no matter the threats, all Jayce could hear was that yes, he finally would get to feel you. No more imagining or stealing your clothing items to use for his fantasies. He could have you. And he didn’t care, or maybe didn’t even know, that you were even lying. Oh, lying through your teeth. You’d never tell another soul about this side of Jayce…it was for you, and only you.

@ 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐙𝐄𝐕 | 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐖/𝐎 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒��𝐎𝐍

[stiltonbasket]

Short crack Prompt:

Wei Wuxian inherited many things from his mother, but he got his father's hair, thick, long, lustrous and silky. His hair has always been longer than most and darker than midnight. He doesn't want to cut it, but hates it coming onto his face, on his hands on his sword while he's doing anything, THUS, ✨he braids it✨.

It's a long thick braid, reaching below his thighs and sitting on his shoulders without his permission. Whenever he turns around or is sword drilling, it swishes behind him like it has a life of it's own.

Bonus: wwx in braid is many people's gay / straight awakening. Jc and yzh has to keep away suiters (and creeps) behind wwx , cuz he's oblivious to other's crush on him. As he's busy looking at lwj 🙃

"Lan-xiong," Nie Huaisang says one afternoon, while Lan Wangji is trying to meditate in the courtyard behind the Yashi. "There's something you ought to know before the guest disciples get here."

Lan Wangji squints at him.

"What is it?" he says flatly. Knowing Nie Huaisang as he does, he guesses that Huaisang intends to relay some piece of gossip; but as telling tales about others is strictly forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, Nie Huaisang ought to know better than to attempt such a thing before the clan's Head of Discipline.

"It's about Yunmeng Jiang," Nie Huaisang says.

"What about Yunmeng Jiang?" Lan Wangji has had little to do with the cultivators of Yunmeng Jiang, but he doubts that a class of their most talented disciples could cause much trouble at the lectures. "Have Jiang-zongzhu's daughter and her shidimei decided not to come?"

Nie Huaisang waves his fan in dismissal. "Oh, nothing so serious as that. It's only—well, have you heard of Wei Wuxian?"

"Briefly. He is Jiang-zongzhu's head disciple, is he not?"

The aforementioned Wei Wuxian's instatement as head disciple was an occasion of some note in the Jianghu, Lan Wangji remembers. For one thing, Wei Wuxian is not a bloodline member of the clan: though this is not so uncommon amongst the latest generation of head disciples, especially in sects where clan disciples are not the majority. For another, Wei Wuxian was apparently disfavored by his shimu from the day Jiang Fengmian first brought him to Lotus Pier at the age of five—and when the news of his appointment reached Lanling Jin last year, there was a great deal of murmuring about how Yu Ziyuan had taken it.

"He is the head disciple," Nie Huaisang says gravely, "but that is of no importance here. The trouble is—oh, it's just a word, don't look like that—is that Wei-gongzi is a calamitous beauty, and his shidimen wrote to me asking whether the Cloud Recesses would be willing to assist in his protection during the lectures."

He holds out a letter and passes it to Lan Wangji. "Here. Jiang-xiong explained everything."

Much to Lan Wangji's regret, the letter's contents are exactly as Nie Huaisang described them. Apparently, Wei Wuxian—referred to in the letter as da-shixiong, as it had been penned by Jiang Wanyin and his biaodi Yu Zhenhong—is both too handsome for his own good and dangerously charming; and as a result, Jiang Wanyin professes, his shixiong leaves a trail of broken hearts wherever he goes.

The last time we visited Lanling—which we would not have done if we had any choice, but the fact of my sister's betrothal ensured that we had precious little say in the matter—five of Jin Zixuan's cousins came to blows at the sight of my shige, each insisting that she and no other would be engaged to him in the future, Jiang Wanyin writes. One of the girls jilted her intended on the spot, vowing that she no longer wished to see him again as long as Wei Wuxian walked the earth; and her intended tore off the yaopei she had gifted him and flung it into the nearest koi pond before declaring that she need not worry about keeping their engagement, for he no longer had any love for her and now wished to bring our da-shixiong into his clan as a bride.

Lan Wangji looks up in dismay. "What?"

"Read on," Nie Huaisang advises grimly. "It gets worse."

Yesterday, he stole a flower from a local bun-girl and went to market with the bloom behind his ear; and later, we received news that the sight of him caused six carriages, nine produce wagons, and two riders on horseback to crash when he stopped to cross the street. He returned home after buying all the ruined produce and helping the women who were bruised in the melee, without the slightest idea that it only occurred because the driver of the first carriage was blinded by the sunlight reflected upon his hair; and the next morning, Fuqin received so many petitioners asking for Wei Wuxian's hand in marriage that he hung a sign at the gates to announce that he would entertain no suitors until after Wei Wuxian comes of age.

"Guanyin in heaven," Lan Wangji hears himself croak, stunned. "How—?"

Nie Huaisang shrugs. "If you ask me, it's the hair."

Lan Wangji shakes his head and looks back down at the letter in disbelief.

Thus, it is my hope that you will inform the second Young Master Lan about the two latest incidents, and impress upon him the importance of restraint in the Lan disciples—and in all the others who will come to study under Lan-laoshi—well before we arrive. (This passage is written in a more graceful hand, likely Yu Zhenhong's.) Our seventh shimei once fell off the pier and into the lake because da-shixiong smiled at her, and no trouble came of it because Lingxi-shimei is a strong swimmer; but if Lan-laoshi's disciples keep falling down the mountain because da-shixiong braided his hair instead of putting it up, someone might truly end up coming to harm.

"This beggars belief," Lan Wangji says doubtfully. "Can one man truly...?"

"I've seen him," Nie Huaisang replies. "And yes. Keep reading."

"'And if it would not be too much trouble,'" Lan Wangji reads aloud, "'please also consult Lan-er-gongzi or Zewu-jun on the subject of da-shixiong's safety.' Safety?"

Nie Huaisang winces. "Wei-xiong is very lovely to look upon," he offers, "and from his dress, it is not always clear that he has the backing of a great sect. Some men do not take well to being told no by a beauty."

"And by some men, you mean the men of Lanling Jin?"

"One never knows where such dangers may come from," Nie Huaisang tells him. "But if you ask me, you ought to keep an eye on the Jins anyway. Apart from Jin Zixuan, I doubt there's a single man in this year's course who doesn't hate Wei Wuxian for enchanting all the Jin girls."

Lan Wangji nods and rises to his feet. "I will handle this matter," he says decisively, turning towards the open door to the Lanshi. "You write back to Jiang-gongzi, and inform him that the Cloud Recesses will be duly prepared for his shige's arrival."

The Lan disciples are prepared accordingly; for over the next week, Lan Wangji orders all the male disciples between fifteen and twenty-five to copy the sect precepts concerning restraint, and ensures that none of the maiden disciples over the age of twelve will have cause to meet Wei Wuxian save for his own sect sisters. Fortunately for everyone concerned, Wei-gongzi is said to be twice as brilliant as he is beautiful: which means that Shufu is easily persuaded to place him in the advanced lectures reserved for disciples who would be hampered by study with the rest of their age-mates. Lan Wangji is the sole male disciple allowed to attend those lectures; so for much of his time at the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian's only classmates will be a pair of married women and Lan Wangji himself.

Lan Wangji thinks better of the arrangement three weeks later, when he is carried to the infirmary after meeting Wei Wuxian on the mountain path and falling thirty feet into a copse of trees below.

"I'm so sorry. Lan-er-gongzi, I'm really sorry," Wei Wuxian gasps, gripping Lan Wangji's clenched fists as Xiongzhang and one of the healers set his broken legs at the other end of the bed. "You can hold on as tightly as you like, all right? Zewu-jun is nearly finished."

Lan Wangji closes his eyes tightly.

"What have I done?" he hears Wei Wuxian mutter to himself. "I'm so clumsy. I'll look after you until you're better again, second Young Master, just say the word and I—"

"Lan Zhan."

Lan Wangji feels his brother's fingers twitch against his knee.

"What?"

"Not—not Lan-er-gongzi," Lan Wangji wheezes. "You may call me Lan Zhan."

Wei Wuxian beams at him with tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. "You're not angry?"

"No."

His eyes fall shut again, provoking a sound of utter desolation from Wei Wuxian. "Here, I'll take that ribbon off," Wei Wuxian says soothingly, his rough hands stroking Lan Wangji's hot forehead. "Your ears are burning up. You'll feel better as soon as it's gone."

At the foot of the bed, Lan Xichen makes a choking sound: but Lan Wangji cannot bring himself to care.

"Mm," Lan Wangji sighs, smiling. "Thank you, Young Master Wei."

[duckprintspress]

Given how common it is for book posts that say "just give me the book blurb! stop with all the other things!" to get tens of thousands of notes, I feel the need to say, as a tiny micro-publisher: if only sharing the book blurb sold books, trust me, we wouldn't be wasting our time with all the other shenanigans.

But just sharing the blurb doesn't work. Most people scroll right by.

And so we try every single method we can think of, including sharing the blurb among them, to try to get whatever eyes we can on the book.

Of course the description of the story is the best way to sell the book and get people interested, but it only works if y'all actually read it. And getting most people to the point where they'll read anything that isn't already immediately and actively part of their existing interests is fucking hard, so we use splashy graphics and short hand to try to hook people, and then hope that when they read the blurb, that hook will go from "oh, that's worth a glance" to "oh, that's worth a buy."

Also: just because the exact post you saw promoting a book didn't include the blurb doesn't mean other posts about the book don't!

Sorry. I just have seen so much of that recently (and not just because of that poll about "what convinces you to buy," I actually found that whole poll extremely interesting and informative) that I'm kinda losing patience with it.

Just posting the blurb doesn't work.

Signed, someone who sells books for a living, or at least tries to.

[tasenwrobots]

BEWARE OF THIS ACCOUNT

Their username is donniecrazy20 and I've seen them around for a while. They seem to repost art of other tmnt artists without their knowledge/consent and give them NO credits. Literally all the donnie art from popular artists that are on twitter/X and even on Tumblr. Not even a "credits to the artist" or anything.

I don't usually do this, I just ignore such accounts, but it felt important to call them out. Because as an artist myself it displeases me, and they are getting credits for the art by unknowing people.

I do not acknowledge or support hating on them but I just wanted to let everyone following them and everyone who likes their posts know that that's NOT their art. They are merely stealing other popular creators' art and reposting it. Please do not support such accounts.

You can inform other artists if you recognize their art on this account

[ashortcake]

vitri as electrofags

[rigginsstreet]

-stranger things vr game

[destinationtoast]

🐈💔

I'm sad to report that Little Kitty Fantastico, aka "Tico," passed away earlier this week, at age 9, after a heart failure. He died at home, surrounded by love and cuddles.

He was such a good and beloved little guy. He was bonkers for lettuce & other greens, and he absolutely could not be trusted around salads. His skills included perching atop walls and keeping watch on everything below. Like his sisters, he was long and had arms that went on forever. He was usually both the goofiest and the floofiest of all his sibs, especially when he was begging for belly rubs.

He was exceptionally sweet and snuggly. (Especially with Winter, who is very sad now. 😿) We will miss him so much.

[1000fingers]

Who’s solitary lights in an empty city NOW, huh??

this took me SO LONG i spent from 11:20 AM until 4:00 PM and i took like two breaks to eat and thats it

Edit: actually that statement was FALSE, i started at TEN twenty not eleven :,)

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober Day 10: Passing out from pain

I’m soooooo glad I had this prewritten guys you have no idea. Who’s ready for a Hyrule blood curse fic? 😈

Warnings: blood and severe injury, brief body horror, uncertain fate of a character

Ao3 link

Continuation (day 18)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The blade sinks through his chest, and with it, seals Hyrule’s doom.

He can’t even scream anymore, his voice raw from threats and defiance and previous cries already torn from his throat. Ropes keep him from moving anything except for his head, and even if they weren’t, he’s so exhausted from the lack of nourishment and every last-ditch escape effort he’s made in the past couple days that he couldn’t move even if he wanted to.

So when the blade rips through him, right below his ribs, all that comes out of Hyrule’s throat is a breathy whimper.

It changes to a keening whine when the sword is twisted in his gut, the sound thick with agony. Blood gushes when the sword is pulled back out, and Hyrule lets out a weak cry, watching through blurry vision as his skin turns red with it.

Blood pools below him in a slight indentation in the stone, the rock cut precisely for this moment. It trails down the side, and Hyrule forces himself to watch as it lands in a large bowl with a pile of ashes, which immediately begin to smoke.

An angry sob tears from his throat as more of his blood spills, howls of victory and glee a cacophony in his ears. He fought tooth and nail against this ever happening, yet here he is, like a lamb at the slaughter, his blood spilled and Ganon’s return imminent.

And nobody comes to help him.

Hyrule closes his eyes then, shaking in pain and grief. He’d fallen through a portal alone, right into a near army of monsters in his homeland. Caught off-guard and dizzy from dark magic, he’d given the fight everything he had, but it hadn’t been enough. He’d been hit over the head and dragged away, and despite his endless attempts at freedom, nothing had worked.

The others had never shown up.

Goddesses if nothing else, send them to fix my mess, Hyrule pleads as he hears an unearthly squelch come from the ashes, and the monsters roar in excitement. Even if I have to die, help them stop him, don’t let my land be destroyed because of me.

A hissing sound is coming from the ashes now, dark magic coalescing and feeding off of Hyrule’s blood. It’s like ice in his veins, sharp and deadly cold, and Hyrule sobs again, giving a weak thrash against his bonds.

He can’t let them win. He can’t.

He can’t.

The dark magic is leeching off of him like a parasite now, feeding off of his blood and magic, stealing his energy and very lifeblood to use for its own purposes. The chanting around him speeds, excitement thrumming in the air. Hyrule hears something move beside him, drag itself through the ashes, and if he’d eaten anything in the past few days, it would be coming up now.

“More,” a voice rasps, phlegmy and horrific, and more tears born of pain roll down Hyrule’s cheeks as the blade sinks through him in a different part of his chest. He chokes, and it’s pulled out and slashed at his sides and arms as well. By then the pain is blocking out so much of his world that Hyrule doesn’t realize it at first when the blade is dragged from his shoulder straight down to the opposite hip.

He would scream, but what energy he had is being siphoned away from him, and all he can do is shudder with a cough that tastes like blood. His whole body feels soaked with it, and an almost hilarious thought drifts through his mind that it’s a good thing the monsters stripped him of everything but his shorts, otherwise he’d be washing bloodstains out for months.

As if I’ll live that long.

He convulses with another wracking cough, and blood spatters up with it, pain dulling so much of his world. For some reason the only clear sense he has left is his hearing, and his ears are filled with his own agonized breaths, chants and cheers of monsters, the gut-churning sounds of bones popping together and skin forming over flesh beside him.

He’s shocked he isn’t dead yet, but the dark magic probably has a hand in that. It’s siphoning even more greedily now, and Hyrule feels it increase and increase and increase until all he can do is shake and gasp from the pain it leaves him with.

It abruptly triples and rips a broken scream from his throat (apparently he is still capable of such noises), making his back arch and vision go red with agony. It only lasts a few moments, but they’re like a lifetime.

When it eases and Hyrule finally falls still, all he can do is drag in a trembling, wretched hiccup.

And then the laughter starts.

It begins at first weak and croaking, as if it has to remember how to make such a sound. But as the minutes tick by, it grows louder, and deeper, and so familiar that Hyrule nearly wails with the weight of his failure.

He’s back.

Oh gods he’s back.

Hyrule keeps his eyes closed as the laughter continues, his body finally gone limp. It’s the one comfort he has left, and the darkness behind his eyelids is getting deeper at the edges, the kind Hyrule only ever sees when things are really bad. But the moment he begins to drift into its edges, the stabbing ice of dark magic drags him back, wracking him with another bubbling cough.

Footsteps trail closer to him, different then that of the monsters who’ve been prowling around the stone. Fingers—claws abruptly grab his chin, tilting his face around, and Hyrule feels blood drip down his face.

“I know you live, Hero. Look at me.”

The voice is familiar and not, booming and smooth, yet holding an inhuman growl, one that makes Hyrule involuntarily shudder.

The claws grip tighter when he doesn’t obey, breaking skin. Despite how Hyrule doesn’t want to do anything that voice tells him, let his final act be one of defiance, his curiosity of what his failure has done gets the better of him.

He drags opens his eyes, and sees a monster.

Ganon isn’t a beast like when Hyrule fought him— but neither is he entirely a man. He’s some sort of mix of the two, claws rather than fingers, hooves instead of feet. His hair is more of a mane than anything, and where there isn’t fur, his skin has a blueish tone to it, one Hyrule wishes he didn’t remember so well.

Ganon’s face is largely human, though the features aren’t quite right, a snout-like nose, sharp teeth... especially the red eyes, shot through with a terrifyingly intelligent yellow. Those eyes study Hyrule in silence, the laughter subsided.

He tilts Hyrule’s head side to side, and Ganon leans so close to him that Hyrule can see the flecks of black in his eyes.

“This is the child who slew me?” he growls, digging his claws even tighter into Hyrule’s jaw. Hyrule can’t control the way his breath hitches in pain, and a smirk pulls at Ganon’s mouth, revealing fangs so large they’re almost tusks. “Pathetic.”

Ganon abruptly drops his chin, scoring marks along his cheek, and Hyrule can only watch as he studies the crimson on his hands, leaning forward to sniff it. A grin pulls at his lips, and he suddenly drags a clawed hand across Hyrule’s chest, coating his palm in blood as Hyrule chokes back another whimper of pain.

Ganon raises it up for the crowd of monsters to see, fingers dripping with red.

Then presses it to his bare chest, and the monsters roar at the handprint of blood left there when he removes it.

Ganon raises his hand to his mouth then, his tongue flicking out as he licks the remaining blood off his claws, and Hyrule chokes back bile. The monsters around them continue to roar, watching as their master licks their enemy’s blood from his hand, but they fall silent as he finishes, and raises a fist.

“Hyrule will be ours!” he roars, and the monsters roar with him, blin and poe, wizzrobe and daira, all ecstatic at the return of their master.

Ganon probably gives more of a speech of some kind then, one that whips the monsters into a near frenzy, but Hyrule doesn’t hear any of it, lost in his failure and brokenness. Blood still drips from his wrecked chest, sticky and hot against his freezing skin. His whole body is pain, his world is that of darkness and blood, and he doesn’t know why he isn’t dead yet.

Am I not even granted that release?

Something wet falls down his cheek, and Hyrule doesn’t know whether it’s blood or tears.

Just breathing is agony in its purest form, and Hyrule’s wet rasps grow weaker with every gurgling exhale. Claws grip at his chin again after a bit, pressing until his eyes open, and Hyrule sees Ganon leering at him mere inches from his face.

“Not yet, little hero,” Ganon growls, victory glinting in his eyes. “As much as I’d like to watch you drown in your own blood, I have use of you yet.”

Hyrule glares through the pain and his tears, rage at the beast in front of him granting him just a bit of energy. “G... g-go to... hhh—”

His chest convulses and blood spurts from his mouth in a weak cough again, making Ganon laugh.

He abruptly slams a clawed hand down on Hyrule’s middle, and his world explodes into white and red, swirling with stars that bleed almost as much as he is.

If he screams, he doesn’t hear it.

He can’t breathe, not through the pressure and pain in his middle, his throat full of liquid he’s too weak to expel. Hyrule gags and writhes, tears slipping down his nose, all while Ganon watches with a delighted smirk.

“Bring him,” he hears faintly, and Hyrule wants to do everything he can to stop that voice. He wants to scream and fight and protect his world from the monster he’s created, steal a sword and drive it through Ganon’s chest before he can do anything else, but he’s too drained. Too powerless.

Too weak.

All he can do is sob one last desperate prayer that his brothers will do what he couldn’t, and then his vision spirals from red to black.

[player1064]

Ever found yourself wishing you had an easy reference for information on every professional football match Gary Neville has ever played in?

Ever wished you had access to even half of the thousands upon thousands of images of Gary Neville I have in my Collection?

Ever wondered how you can get into watching old games?

Wonder no more! I present to you...

The Gary Neville Match Database

This is the database I use to track which games of his I've watched and which I have links to recordings of, but I've simplified it a bit for general use/removed stuff that was specifically there just for my own point of reference.

I've also ADDED any images I have of each match to that match page (in HD, of course), along with the captions they came with on whatever stock image site I got them from.

I have put MONTHS of effort into perfecting this database, and recently I realised that I'm really quite proud of it, and want to share it with everyone else! So please enjoy, and drop me an ask if you have any questions, or just to let me know how you're getting on with it!

(Also, if you're planning on using this database I'd appreciate if you reblogged this post sort of as a way of acknowledging that/giving credit to my work?)

[tobytost]

THE Ezra brainrot edit, enjoy :)

[azeroth]

This generation loss shit is serious !! IM OUT !!

[krismatic]

who up making new utdr AUs in 2025

rough plot for this one is that the deltarune ver. of chara, asriel, and clover end up in a dark world of their university dorms (uh oh)

process notes etc. under cut

i've never drawn anything like this before so it was frustrating! but fun!

i've been working on their designs since the middle of march and i'm happy with how they all turned out! too bad you can't even see chara's lol

i don't have a concrete plot for this au yet, but feel free to send me asks about it! character details and backstories, why i chose a certain design element... i'm always happy to yap

chara and asriel are roommates, clover lives in the dorm next to theirs. fall break's about to start, but... there seems to be something mysterious going on in the dorms. ooooooo

also, if you haven't played/watched the undertale red and yellow mod, go do that! chara and clover's interactions are the whole reason i thought of this au in the first place :] (if you haven't played ut yellow though, do that first)

[moonlitsnake-art]

RAHHHH, I FINALLY FINISHED A PROJECT I TOOK FOREVER ON!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

Its an info sheet/intro to my ocs!!!!

Below is individual cuts, the text if you can't read it, and small ramble bc I'm proud of this 😋🥳

SIA!

Omnisexual, demigirl : She/They

Fav color: Bright pink and Green

Yeah!!! X3: >her older sister >loud music! >sour candy >bright colors >flavored chapstick >MLP

Nope!! >_<: >Chunky salsa >Getting scared >Being alone for long >Losing her earbuds >Squids >Boredom

Birthday: 7/28 (Leo)

Nova:

Aro-ace: She/Her

Fav color: French navy blue

Yes: >Her younger sister >(Her) Home-made cooking >Designing outfits >The night sky >Libraries >Thunderstorms

No: >Spiders >Fire >Losing her sister >Being caught by them >Any religious imagery >Too much sugar

Birthday: 10/3 (Libra)

omg, Omg, OMG!!! I'm so flipping proud of this and needed official refs for them and now I have them!! It took me like FOREVER to draw, color, and sticker both of them. But alas, they are just but tragic cat sisters lol.

[cobwebears]

cringetober day 1 - screenshot redraw