#PLEASE REBLOG I GOTTA FEED MY CHILDREN | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

study-coffee-chicago · 3 years ago

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1930s AU (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister + Upstead AU for AU-gust)

A/N: Hopefully this one pops up in the tags now! Sorry to the few people who already liked/reblogged this, but it’d really help me out if you liked/reblogged this one since I’m deleting the one I posted last night. Anyway, the italics at the beginning are essentially "present-day" for the characters (which, in my time frame of the story would be 1945) and the regular font would be a "flashback"...but since the flashback is essentially the whole story which takes place during the early 1930s, I wrote it in regular font. Just didn't want you guys to be confused! Here’s the playlist I listened to while writing this if you want to listen while reading (did not create the playlist myself, I found it): an old fashioned diner jukebox. Anyway, enjoy!

You walked towards the little house that had been your home since you were six years old. "Hey old girl," you said as you petted your horse's head. "I'll see you in the morning, okay? I know Jay and Hailey are awake waiting for me and are probably worried, aren't they?" Your horse picked up her hoof and gave it one good stomp. "I thought so. I'll feed you some sugar cubes in the morning. I'll even give you extra because it'll be Christmas." You gave her one more caress and then walked up to the door of the house.

You used your key to unlock the door and were not at all surprised to see Hailey and Jay in deep conversation.

"Hailey, if she's not here in the next hour, I'm calling the train station. She was supposed to be here yesterday. And it's not like it's that long of a ride."

"Well, luckily you won't have to call," you said as you sat your two suitcases on the floor.

"Y/N! You don't know how worried sick we were," Jay said as he hustled over to you and pulled you into a hug.

"To be fair," Hailey began, "he was more worried than I was."

"Aww, you still worry about me when I'm nineteen," you said as Jay pulled away and Hailey hugged you. "I'm flattered, Jay, really."

"How's betternanian school?" Jay asked with a teasing glint in his eyes.

"Would you give that joke a rest? I was six and didn't know how to properly pronounce veterinarian."

"That probably won't happen."

"How's Natalie?" Hailey asked. "Is she doing okay that Will's away and all her kids are married or at college across the country?"

When you decided to go to veterinarian school, you chose one close to Will and Natalie and they let you stay with them. Then, World War 2 broke out and Will went overseas to work as a doctor in a combat hospital. Natalie's twin boys were both off at separate medical schools across the country, intent on following in their father's footsteps and becoming doctors themselves, and their daughter was married now and living with her husband.

"She's doing as well as expected," you told them. "It helps that Elizabeth and her husband, James, come over for dinner once every week so at least Natalie's seeing one of her children. And, I guess having me around helps mitigate the loneliness. The twins are home from college now for a month's break, so she'll have them there right now, too."

You looked around under the Christmas tree and you spotted a big object covered with a bedsheet.

"Is this what I think it is?" you asked as you walked closer to it.

"It is," Jay confirmed as you lifted the sheet and saw the old rocking horse you used to ride on. Jay had made sure to get you another one when you moved here as the one from Chicago you couldn't bring with you.

"I haven't ridden it since I was eight. You kept it all these years?"

"Right up in the attic," Hailey answered. "We figured it would be the perfect Christmas present for Lilly since she's six now."

"You want something to eat?" Jay asked. "We should probably get out of here and close the doors since all the gifts are wrapped in case Lilly or Anna come to find us."

You grabbed your suitcases and the three of you walked out of the living room and closed the doors.

"Mind if I eat a few of these?" you asked, pointing to the plate of cookies for Santa that Lilly and Anna had placed by the fireplace.

"Go right ahead," Jay told you. But then he heard giggles. "Wait."

You took a step away from the cookies and milk.

"I think we should go check on them," Jay said.

So, the three of you walked down the hall and to the bedroom that the girls shared. "I'll do the honors," you said.

You slowly pushed open the door.

"Now, girls, I thought you were supposed to be asleep."

Eleven-year-old Anna and six-year-old Lilly gasped. "Auntie Y/N!" they exclaimed and rushed out of their respective beds and you first gave Anna a hug and then crouched down to give Lilly one as well.

"Mommy and Daddy said you might not get here in time," Anna told you.

"They did? Well, I'm here now and tomorrow we can play all day with what Santa brought you. But right now, I think you two need to go to sleep so that Santa will come," you said.

"But you just got here!" Lilly complained.

"Yeah!" Anna agreed. Then she gasped. "Can you tell us a story, Auntie Y/N?"

You looked to Jay and Hailey, silently asking if it was okay to let your two nieces stay awake longer. Jay nodded.

"What story do you want tonight?" you asked as you sat down on the rug in the middle of the room and Lilly sat in your lap.

"How Mommy and Daddy met!" Lilly exclaimed.

"You already know that one, Lil," Hailey said as she and Jay sat down and Anna sat between her two parents.

"But it's so good, Mommy!" Anna said. "Please just one more time, please?"

"Oh, alright," Jay caved. "I don't know how much Aunt Y/N will remember since she was your age, Lil, but me and Mommy can definitely tell you the story."

Lilly leaned into you and you ran your hands absentmindedly through her blond hair while Jay started to tell his and Hailey's story of true love and hard times.

***

"Bye, Y/N, I gotta go to work," your big brother said as he woke you up.

"Is Miss Rosalie here?" you asked.

"She is. But, you can sleep longer. I'll be back in time for dinner."

"Why you gotta leave so early, Jay Jay? It's still dark out."

"Because I have to get the milk before the sun rises so the milk doesn't spoil when I'm bringing it to other people."

"Oh, okay." You yawned.

"Go back to sleep. I'll be back later tonight. Be good for Ms. Rosalie."

"I will. Love you, Jay Jay."

"Love you, too."

Then, Jay gave you a kiss on the forehead and grabbed his cap and satchel, said goodbye to Ms. Rosalie and thanked her as he always does, and left the house, the street lamps illuminating the way as he walked towards work.

As he was walking, Jay reflected how it had essentially gotten this bad. At least he had a job now, he used to not have one and you and him were living off of what little money your parents had left behind when they died...at least, the portion that the bank didn't keep.

He had essentially been your primary caretaker for two years. The stock market crashed in 1929, and your mom died a few months after when you were two years old. Not that she had a job though, so it didn't really matter money-wise. Your dad had died in 1931, the same year that Will had graduated from medical school and went to New York to look for a job as a doctor. Jay had worked in a factory at that time and had gotten laid off soon after. But, then he found a job as a milkman. He wasn't getting paid much, but it was enough to pay rent in the crappy and cramped apartment building you both lived in and put food on the table. But, sales were dropping now as no one had money to pay for as much milk as they used to. His sales were half of what they used to be. And, you were now five, six in two weeks, so you were growing and Jay knew that you'd be eating more soon.

When he started loading his company car with milk once he had arrived at work, his supervisor walked over to him and told him that he'd be picking up some of a coworker's route. Well, he was an ex-coworker now because they had laid him off. Jay was just glad he had a job and had enough money to support him and you...even if it was really tight. He hoped he'd be home for dinner like he promised you.

He started on his way and finally, after hours and hours, he was on his new portion of his route.

He made his way up the steps of a house on the corner.

"Good afternoon, ma'am," he said as he set the four bottles of milk down on her front porch. She was currently outside sweeping the porch, her wavy blond hair tied back in two braids. She was in a short-sleeved dress with an apron covering it.

She turned to him and stopped sweeping. "Good afternoon. You're not Jimmy, my usual milkman," the woman said.

"No. Jimmy doesn't work with me anymore. I picked his route. I'm Jay Halstead, ma'am," he replied while tipping his cap.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't introduce myself. I'm Hailey Upton."

"Well, Ms. Upton, pleased to meet you. I'm guessing you have kids just based on me delivering four bottles of milk?" he asked. God, was she pretty. He was getting tongue-tied just looking at her! He knew it wasn't polite to ask that, but it just slipped out.

"No, actually I don't. I'm doing some baking today and that's why I need it. And please, call me Hailey."

"Well, Hailey, I hope it goes well. Should I put you down for four bottles tomorrow as well?"

"No, only one should do for tomorrow, Mr. Halstead."

"Please, call me Jay, ma- Hailey."

"Alright, have a nice rest of your day, Jay."

"You, too. Again, I hope your baking goes well." He tipped his cap once more and headed off. That was his last stop of the day. You and Ms. Rosalie were back at home waiting for him.

***

Jay quickly opened his eyes the minute he felt your hand on his arm. "Jay Jay?" you whispered.

"I'm awake, pumpkin." Your mom had called you pumpkin based on the one time you picked up a pumpkin and dropped it and it splattered everywhere. And, this nickname just stuck.

"I- I know I'm not 'sposed to ask, but I'm real hungry," you said.

Jay didn't bother correcting you on how you didn't ask anything at all; you just told him that you were hungry. And, he was hungry, too. You were running out of food in the house and he needed to run to the market, but everything seemed to be too expensive, so he could only buy the necessities. And, you and Ms. Rosalie had made French onion soup for dinner last night, because that used very minimal ingredients.

Jay hated himself as he scooped out the soup after she left because he realized portions would only be 3/4 of what both of you were used to. He had toyed with the idea of giving you 1/4 of his, so you could have a full serving and he'd have half, but he figured he'd see what would happen. Tomorrow, he knew he'd be giving you a normal portion of whatever he had. After all, he could convince himself to go back to sleep, but you were just a child.

Your parents had always drilled into your head that it was breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And, Jay did his best to try to feed you enough to abide by that rule. But, it was getting harder and harder to do when the entire United States seemed to be going hungry.

"Pumpkin, it's late--"

Your stomach rumbled and Jay swore he felt tears prick his eyes. He couldn't expect you to go to bed hungry.

"Let's go get you something. I'm sure I can find something," he said as he got up.

You grabbed his hand and you two walked into the kitchen. He pulled the string to one of the dim lights, which barely illuminated the kitchen and dining area. Then, he opened the icebox and pulled out a hard-boiled egg and a bottle of milk. He poured half the milk into a glass and handed you the egg.

You went to stick it in your mouth when he stopped you. "No, you have to peel it." You held it out to him. "Do I need to start it for you?" You nodded and he took off a section of the shell and handed it back to you and you continued to peel it.

Normally, Jay would put salt and pepper on it, but you were very low on that as well. And, seeing how hungry you were, you started to eat it without asking for those two basic spices.

Then, you finished the glass of milk and Jay led you back to your bed and you fell asleep with a full tummy...well, as full as anyone in your position could get nowadays.

Unbeknownst to you, you had just eaten half of Jay's breakfast for tomorrow.

***

"How did the baking go yesterday?" Jay asked Hailey as he switched out her four empty milk bottles for one full one.

"It went well. Thank you for asking. I actually had a lot left, so here." She handed him a slice wrapped in tin foil. "It's strawberry pie."

"You didn't have to give this to me," Jay said, trying to hand it back to her.

"Nonsense. So many people are going hungry right now. I have no right to waste food."

"It makes sense when you put it that way. Thank you. My little sister will most definitely enjoy it."

"Oh, let me go grab you another slice so that you don't have to share."

Before Jay could protest, she ran back into her big house and grabbed him another slice.

"Thank you," Jay said as he took the other slice as well.

"You're welcome. No use letting it go to waste. How old is your sister?" Hailey asked.

"Y/N will be six in two weeks," Jay answered.

"Oh, I remember what I was like at that age. I was a little troublemaker, running around with my older brothers even when my mom and dad called me in. And then I'd always make messes in the kitchen."

Jay laughed. "I'd hope she's more well-behaved than that. But, I'd best get going. Thank you for the pie. Can I put you down for one bottle tomorrow?"

"Yes, please. Have a nice day."

Jay nodded at her and then reached down and grabbed the crate with the empty milk bottles. Then, he got in the company car and started on his way back to the factory and then home.

***

"Jay Jay!" you said as you jumped up from your seat at the kitchen table. "I missed you!"

Jay set his satchel, four bottles of milk, and the slices of pie on the counter next to the stove and picked you up and spun you around. "I missed you, too! Were you good for Ms. Rosalie?" He settled you on his hip.

You frantically nodded your head and Jay turned to the older woman. "She was an angel as always. I hope you don't mind, but I made French onion soup again for dinner."

"That's fine, thank you. Your two bottles of milk are right next to mine."

That's how he paid her: by buying her milk. He knew it wasn't a lot, but it's not like he could pay for a nanny. And, she was the one with the cheapest rate in the apartment building. Plus, she had known you since you were a baby, so Jay knew that you trusted her and he trusted her to look after you.

"Oh, thank you, dear." She picked up the two bottles and started towards the door.

"Oh, and tell Mr. Edward I say hello," Jay said, referring to her husband.

"Will do. Enjoy your evening."

Then, she left, and Jay put you down on the floor and moved to start dishing out dinner. When you were both at the table with the food in front of you, a smile spread across his face.

"Pumpkin, after dinner I have a surprise for you."

"Really?" you squealed.

"Yes, really. But, you have to finish your food first and then I will give it to you."

Jay chuckled at how fast you ate your food. He was usually done before you, but tonight you both finished around the same time.

"What's the surprise?" you asked as you set your bowl and spoon on the counter near the rusty sink by Jay's bowl and spoon.

He reached up into the creaky cupboard and grabbed two plates and then two forks from the drawer that would occasionally get stuck.

"How about you go sit at the table and I'll bring you the surprise. How does that sound?"

"Okay!" you scrambled back into your seat and watched as Jay put the things on the plates. He must really have wanted this to be a surprise because he positioned himself so that his back was towards you and you couldn't see a single thing he was doing.

"Now, I need you to close your eyes and I'll tell you when to open them," Jay said, still with his back turned to you.

You quickly closed your eyes and also put your hands over your eyes, causing Jay to chuckle.

He first set his plate with pie and a small glass of milk at his place at the table and then did the same thing in front of you. He crouched down next to you and put his hand on the back of your chair. "And, open."

You threw your hands down at your side and snapped your eyes open. You gasped and turned your head to look at Jay. "We get dessert?"

Jay smiled. "We do. It's strawberry pie from someone who I give milk to. Do you need help cutting it?"

"No, I can do it! Who gave it to you?"

"Her name's Miss Hailey." Then, he went back to his side of the table as you started to eat your pie. He was glad he had given you the bigger slice because you enjoyed it so much; he'd be sure to tell Hailey this.

***

Two weeks later

Jay sighed as he counted out what little money he had saved up in a lockbox under his bed. He barely had enough to buy you a few sugar sticks from the market after thinking about rent that needed to be paid in another two weeks. At least he knew that Will had sent you something because he told Jay in his letter from last week that he'd be sending you a gift along with your birthday letter. But, Jay still felt bad that he barely had enough money to buy you candy for your birthday. He knew you'd prefer chocolate over hard candy, but he also knew that he had to save money for rent and groceries, so when you both went to the market later, you'd only be able to buy a couple of hard candies.

The change clanked back into the box when he heard the sound of little footsteps coming towards him.

"Happy birthday!" he exclaimed as he picked you up and spun you around. Then, he settled you on his hip and walked into the kitchen. "Does six feel any different than five?" You shook your head back and forth frantically, causing Jay to laugh. "Now, what do you want for your birthday breakfast?"

"Hotcakes!" you exclaimed. Luckily for Jay, you didn't notice how his smile flattered for a quick second when you said that.

"Okay then, hotcakes it is! Can you go put on a dress while I make these?"

You nodded again and then Jay set you down and you ran to your room to change.

When you came back into the kitchen after you got dressed--and got distracted by playing with your doll--your pancakes were sitting on the table. But, you noticed there was only one plate.

"Where's yours?" you asked your big brother as you sat down in your chair and he started cleaning the pan that he had cooked in.

"I ate while you were playing. I didn't want to disrupt your game, pumpkin," he told you, with a smile on his face.

"Oh, okay. Can I eat them now?"

"Of course you can. And then, we'll go to the post office to see what Will brought you."

But, Jay hadn't actually eaten any when you were playing with your doll. There was barely enough flour to make you pancakes, let alone him. So, instead of depriving you of pancakes on your birthday, he just went without.

***

"Mail for Jay Halstead, please," he said at the window of the post office while holding your hand.

"Alright, just one moment." The teller went to the back and grabbed a letter and then handed it to Jay.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Jay?" a voice behind him said.

Jay turned, only to be met with Hailey Upton.

"Hailey, good morning. Came to pick up your mail I presume?" he asked.

"You presume correctly." She stepped out of line to stand with him. "And who might this be?" she asked, stooping down to your level.

You blushed and moved to hide behind Jay's leg. Jay chuckled. "Sorry about that. She's particularly shy around strangers. Pumpkin," he started, addressing you. "This is Miss Hailey. She's the one who made us the strawberry pie a few weeks ago."

"It was good. Thank you," you said as you peeked your head out from behind Jay.

"You're welcome. And you must be Y/N?" You nodded. "Jay's told me a lot of good things about you."

You looked up at Jay as if asking him to confirm it. "I've got nothing bad to say about you, you know that."

"I know. If you did, you wouldn't make me hotcakes today," you said.

"Can you tell Miss Hailey what today is?"

You finally moved out all the way from behind Jay. But you still held his hand as you answered the question. "It's my birthday! I'm six!"

"Wow! You're such a big girl! Are you doing anything special today?" Hailey asked, stooping down to your level.

"I'm gonna get some chocolate!"

"Y/N, what'd we talk about on the way here?" Jay asked.

"Oh." You looked down at your feet. "I'm getting hard candy instead."

Hailey looked up at Jay and saw the sadness in his eyes, something that you didn't pick up on since you were so little. She knew what that statement meant. Chocolate was more expensive than hard candies, so she knew the reason that you weren't getting it was because Jay didn't have any money.

"How about we see what Will got you so that Miss Hailey can get her mail?" Jay asked.

You nodded excitedly and Hailey got back in line. Then, Jay opened the large envelope and handed you a small pouch.

You opened it and looked inside. There were these little metal x's and a red bouncy ball. "Jay Jay, what's this?" you asked as you held the pouch out to him.

He looked inside and smiled. "That is jacks."

You cocked your head to the side. "Who's Jack? And why do I have his things?"

Jay laughed just as Hailey started walking back towards them. "It's the name of the game, pumpkin. You bounce the ball and try to pick up one of the pieces before the ball hits the ground. Me and Will played it a lot, but he always won."

"You lost?" you asked as your eyes grew wide. Jay never lost!

"I lost a lot."

Hailey was next to you and your brother now. "Jacks, huh?" Jay nodded. "Me and my brothers used to play it all the time. I'm actually quite good at it."

"Can you teach me, Miss Hailey?" you asked excitedly.

"I'm sure Miss Hailey has things she needs to do today, pumpkin," Jay said, giving Hailey a sympathetic look.

"Oh, it's no trouble. I've actually got ingredients for a delicious chocolate cake at my house if you two would like to come over. I can easily whip up a nice lunch for us, too."

"Hailey, I can't let you do that."

"Please, Jay Jay? Pretty please?" you asked, looking up at him and clasping your hands together to make it look like you were praying. "It's my birthday. Please?"

He looked to Hailey and she nodded once more. "Just because Miss Hailey said it was okay. Care to accompany us to the store to get her some candy before we go to your house?" Jay asked her.

"I'd love to."

***

You were so full after a delicious lunch of turkey sandwiches, potatoes, apples, and chocolate cake, that you had promptly fallen asleep at the table while you were waiting for Jay and Hailey to finish the dishes.

Hailey said it was no big deal, that she could do them, but you mentioned that Jay always washed the dishes and you always dried them. So, then Hailey finally gave in and let him help with the drying.

"Not to be too forward," Hailey began as she handed a plate to Jay to dry, "but is it just you and Y/N? I've just never heard either of you mention your parents."

"Uh, it's just the two of us. Mom and Dad died a few years ago. Will, our older brother, went to New York to become a doctor, so it's been the two of us ever since."

"Well, that little girl really seems to love you."

Jay sighed. "It's probably because she doesn't know any different. Mom died when she was two, so she barely remembers her. And Dad died when she was four, so two years ago. She remembers him a little, but for most of the past two years, I've been the one taking care of her. Along with our neighbor who helps out by watching her when I have to go to work."

"That's very kind of her."

"It is. So, what about you? What do you do to have such a big house? Secret baking company you run? Because I've had desserts you've made so far and both were absolutely delicious."

"They were nothing fancy."

"Oh, but to Y/N they were. She was so excited when I told her we'd be getting dessert. But, how did you end up here, Hailey?"

"In Chicago? Or in this house specifically?"

"Both," Jay said.

"Well, I was born and raised in Chicago. But, my parents are gone, too...not that I was ever too fond of my father. But, they had this house because they used to own a bar, which pulled in some decent money. They left the house to me and my brothers. All of them have their own families and are scattered across the country, so I got it."

"Would be a bad time to be in the brewing business right now, wouldn't it? With prohibition and all," Jay mused. "That might contribute to the high unemployment rates...but, I'm pretty sure that was mostly because of Hoover." He paused. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be talking about the complicated politics of our country right now...especially not in front of a lady."

"I have the right to vote now, you know. And have had it for thirteen years," Hailey said.

"I know. I didn't mean it like that. I think it's great that women can vote. I just shouldn't be talking about it that first time I'm in your home is all." He gestured to you. You were still asleep at the table, your head resting on your arms which were resting on the table. "Glad that little rascal gets the chance to voice her opinions."

Your head popped up. "I ain't a rascal, Jay Jay!"

"Oh really now?" He walked over to you and picked you up and started tickling you. "How about now?" he asked with a giant smile on his face while you laughed big belly laughs.

"Jay Jay! Please stop!"

"Only because you said please." He set you back down.

"Aw, she's so cute," Hailey gushed.

"Did you hear that, kiddo? Miss Hailey thinks you're cute. What do you say?" Jay asked.

"Thank you." You blushed. "Can you teach me how to do braids like yours?" you asked, referring to her French braids. "They're real pretty. Jay can only do plain ones."

She turned to Jay while she raised her eyebrows. "You know how to braid?"

He opened his mouth to dispute what you said, but you butted in. "He does! He braids my hair every day when he doesn't have to work!"

You spun around, giving Hailey a view of your braids.

"Okay, birthday girl," Jay said. "I think it's time we head home. We can play jacks there."

"Can we play checkers, too? I like checkers!"

"I know you do. Now, can you say thank you to Miss Hailey for lunch and for the cake?"

"Thank you, Miss Hailey! It was really good!"

"You're welcome, honey." She stooped down to your height and handed you two slices of chocolate cake wrapped in tin foil. "These are for you and Jay to take home. And, you get the bigger slice."

***

A month later

You had been six for a month, and Jay had known Hailey for around two months. The weather was starting to cool down as summer was turning into fall and there was a slight chill in the air. Because of this, Jay was spending more money on more firewood to place in the wood-burning stove because you now weren't just using it to cook, but for heat as well.

Ms. Rosalie had come down with a nasty cold and didn't want to get you sick. Jay had tried to find a last-minute babysitter for you last night by knocking on nearby apartments, explaining the situation, and even offering to buy them a bottle of milk for their troubles. But no one agreed.

So, Jay told you that you'd have to stay home by yourself. You asked if you could go to work with him, but he said no...even though he desperately wanted to bring you. But, he couldn't risk his job; it was the only meager income the two of you had. Jay needed that job to keep a roof over your heads and food in your bellies. Because of this, he taught you how to lock the door and had made you a quick breakfast and lunch and stuck them in the icebox so that you'd be able to eat while he was gone. And above all, he told you not to answer the door for anyone.

"Bye, Pumpkin," Jay said as he gave you a big hug. "You remember what I told you?"

"Yes. Breakfast and lunch are in the icebox and no opening the door," you answered as you sat up in bed.

"Unless..." Jay prompted.

"Unless it's you, Miss Rosalie, or Mr. Edward."

"Exactly. Now, go back to sleep. I'll lock the door on my way out. I love you."

"Love you, too, Jay Jay."

Then, he left, leaving you alone to go back to sleep.

***

"Halstead!" Jay heard his supervisor yell as he was stacking the last of his crates back at the factory before he hurried home to you.

"Yes, sir?" he asked.

"My office."

Jay swallowed but followed his supervisor.

He entered and closed the door behind him.

"As you know," his supervisor started, "milk sales have been declining at a steady rate as families don't have enough money to buy as much as they used to."

"I'm aware, sir," Jay said as he clasped his hands behind his back.

"This means that we need fewer workers."

No, this cannot be happening, Jay thought to himself.

"I'm sorry to say, but I have to let you go, Jay."

"Please," Jay begged. He knew begging was unbecoming and most likely wouldn't get him his job back, but he had no other choice. "I have a six-year-old sister. I'm the only one who takes care of her. Please sir, I really need this job. If not for me, then please do it for her. Please."

"I'm sorry, son, but I have to let you go. I wish you the best of luck on finding other employment."

Jay wanted to beg for his job back some more, but he knew it was no use. So, he just nodded and left the office, not knowing what to do next.

And, to make matters worse, his rent was already ten days past due.

***

Jay was about to walk into his apartment when he saw a yellow piece of paper nailed to his door. He ripped it down and scanned the big, bold letters.

An eviction notice. He was going to lose the apartment.

If he didn't come up with some money fast, then he and you would have to be out of your apartment in three days.

He sighed and folded the paper and stuck it in his pocket, and then unlocked the door and went inside.

He began to panic when he didn't see you right away, but then he heard a sniffle coming from your room.

You gasped as you heard someone coming towards you and quickly buried yourself under your covers and tried to stay as quiet as possible.

"Pumpkin?" Jay asked. "It's just Jay Jay."

You carefully peeled the covers back from your head. "Jay Jay?" When you saw it was him, you jumped out of bed and quickly crashed into his legs, and clung to them for dear life. "Jay Jay!" you cried. "I was so scared!"

Jay tried to pry your little fingers from his legs, but your grip was so tight that he knew if he tried any harder, he might hurt you and he definitely didn't want that. "Why were you so scared, pumpkin?" he asked as he placed a hand on your head and ran his fingers through your slightly tangled hair.

"There- there were people at the door," you shuddered. "And they made really loud noises and kept yelling."

"What were they yelling?" he asked gently.

"They were yelling for you."

"Did you open the door?"

"No, you told me not to, so I didn't."

"Good girl," he praised. He knew what you were talking about: the men who had nailed the eviction notice to the door of the apartment had probably yelled out his name a few times very loudly, which is what caused you to be scared now. "How about I make us dinner and then we can play checkers, hmm?" he asked. "How does that sound?"

You looked up at him, a few tears still rolling down your cheeks. You wiped them away with your little fists. You nodded. "Can you braid my hair, too? I tried, but I couldn't do it."

That explains all the tangles, Jay thought to himself. "I can do that."

He grabbed your hairbrush and then sat on your bed. You sat on the floor in between his legs and allowed him to brush your hair and start to braid. As Jay was doing this, he was wondering what he was going to do. He didn't have a job, he had an eviction notice, and he had to provide for you. Even though he liked to think he had great problem-solving skills, at this very moment, he had absolutely no idea what to do.

***

"Where are we going, Jay Jay?" you asked as you held his hand and walked through town the next morning.

"We are going to see Miss Hailey," he answered.

"Why?" you asked as you curiously looked up at him.

"Because I think she'd like to spend some time with you."

"Where are you gonna be?"

"I have to go run some errands."

"Can I come? I wanna come with you, Jay Jay."

"I wish I could bring you, pumpkin. But, this is adult stuff. You'd be really bored. You'll have much more fun with Miss Hailey."

You sighed. "Okay."

About twenty minutes later, Jay took a deep breath as he walked up the steps of Hailey's front porch. He hoped he was making the right decision by doing this. He knocked a few times and then Hailey answered the door.

"Jay? What are you doing here so early?" Then, she saw you and stooped down to your height. "Hi, Y/N. Did Jay wake you up to come see me this morning?"

"Yeah," you answered as you rubbed your eyes. You were still kind of tired. Jay didn't know if that was from lack of proper nutrition or general tiredness. He hoped it was the latter. "Jay Jay said he had to do adult things and I can't come with him."

She looked up at Jay and then back to you. "Honey, how about you go run inside to the sitting area and grab a deck of cards or another game we can play while I talk to your brother, how does that sound?"

You looked up at Jay and he nodded. Hailey moved out of the doorway. "Okay!" you exclaimed and then quickly let go of Jay's hand and rushed inside.

"Don't forget to take off your shoes before you get to the carpet!" Jay shouted after you, which caused you to stoop down and take off your shoes on the hardwood before you got to the carpeted areas.

"So, you needed someone to watch her?" Hailey asked.

"Yes. I'm really sorry, but you're the first person I thought of since our neighbor got sick and I need to run to the bank before it gets really busy--"

"Jay, it's fine. She's a little angel. I can take care of her for a few hours." She studied his face and his very worried expression. "Is everything alright?"

Jay sighed. "Hopefully it will be after I go to the bank. Thank you for--"

He was cut off by someone yelling at Hailey from the sidewalk. "Hailey! Still on for tonight?" It was Christopher Hermann, a firefighter.

"Uh, no I'm not baking anything tonight," she quickly answered.

Hermann gave her a confused look but quickly recovered as he realized what she was saying. "Okay, thank you, Hailey."

"You're welcome." Hermann tipped his cap at her before he continued walking. "As you were saying?" Hailey asked.

"I thought you said you didn't own a baking business?" Jay asked.

"I don't," Hailey said quickly. "Sometimes I'll just make some pies for him, his wife, and kids."

"Sorry if I wrecked your plans of baking by dropping Y/N on you. I can try and find someone else."

"No, it's fine. Good luck at the bank and I promise I'll take good care of your little sister."

"Thank you. I'll see you soon."

***

"Sir, I'm sorry," the bank teller told him.

"Please." At this point, Jay wasn't opposed to begging. "I really need a loan. Just a small one so that I can keep a roof over mine and my little sister's head and food on the table. She's just a child. Please."

"If I gave every person in here who had a sob story a loan, I would be out of a job and this bank would be out of business. I'm sorry, but I can't. Best of luck to you and your sister."

He moved on to the next person, leaving Jay close to tears. He was out of options. He was out of a job and he was about to lose the small apartment you two shared in the next two days.

He walked out of the bank with his head held low and tears pricked his eyes. The only option he had was to beg Will to let him and you move to New York to stay with him. But, even though he was a doctor, he still had to feed himself, his wife, Natalie, and his three children. He might not be able to take in two more mouths to feed.

The other thing Jay thought about as he walked down the street back towards Hailey's feeling like a disappointment was moving to a Hooverville. Those were camps set up by the homeless where they lived in tents. Because, in two days, the two of you would be homeless. He could try and sell everything of value he had in the small apartment, but it'd only cover this month's rent, if that, and then he'd just encounter this same problem again next month.

Jay knocked on the door of Hailey's house and she quickly answered it, you right on her tail.

"Jay Jay!" you exclaimed and quickly hugged him.

"Hi, pumpkin. It's time to go home now."

"But, me and Miss Hailey are in the middle of a game!" you argued.

"I've got no issue if she stays to finish it," Hailey said. "Y/N, why don't you go and make sure the pieces are where we left them while I talk to your brother?"

You ran off to go check on the pieces while Hailey stepped outside and closed the door behind her. She took a good look at Jay and saw the tears in his eyes that he was frantically trying to blink back.

"Jay, what happened at the bank?" Hailey asked gently.

"It's nothing I can't handle," he responded coldly.

"Jay, please, just tell me. Maybe I- Maybe I can help. I can't do that if you don't tell me anything."

"I'm just your milkman, well not anymore because I got fired yesterday. Why do you care so much, Hailey?"

"Because that little girl in there needs her big brother. She needs you to be rational about whatever's going on because I will not let her get hurt."

"I would never hurt her," Jay said quickly. "Where is this coming from?"

"Don't worry about it," Hailey said flippantly. "Just, tell me what's going on. Please, Jay. Not just for me, but for that little girl who loves you so much. Maybe I can help."

Jay sighed. "I got let go yesterday. And now I'm getting evicted from my apartment. I even went to the bank to try to take out a loan, but couldn't. I don't know what I'm going to do, Hailey. I really don't."

"Come with me," she said and opened the door.

You were focused on something in Hailey's sitting room, so weren't paying attention as Jay and Hailey made their way to the kitchen.

"I may not have told you everything about myself," Hailey said.

"Hailey, not to be rude, but what are you saying?"

"The reason I have this big of a house when I'm a single woman is because my parents used to own a very successful brewery. My dad, let's just say he wasn't that great of a man, so when prohibition hit, he didn't know what to do. So, he sold the brewery and they moved to another part of the country."

"And you got their house?" Jay asked.

"Yes, but I have to work to make sure I can still pay my bills."

"Then what do you do?" Jay asked. He knew she couldn't make enough money to pay for this place by working in a factory or being a seamstress, which is what most women did to support their husband's incomes.

"You don't know anyone in the government, do you?" she asked.

"No. If I did, they would've been my first visit when I saw the eviction notice, not the bank. Where is all this going?"

"Jay, if I tell you this, I need to know I can trust you, that you won't tell a single person what I'm about to show you."

"You have my word."

"Alright." She walked over to her huge, white kitchen island and pushed, revealing a staircase. "Follow me."

She pulled a string and the staircase became illuminated and Jay followed her. Once they got all the way down the staircase, she pulled another string and then a few more, making the secret basement become illuminated in light.

Jay looked around. There was a bar with glasses behind it and bottles of whiskey and other liquors. On either side of the bar, there were two huge barrels of what Jay assumed had to be beer. There were also three high-top tables with two chairs at each table.

Jay's jaw dropped. "You run a speakeasy?"

"I do," Hailey answered.

"B-But this is illegal," Jay stuttered.

"I'm very much aware."

Jay continued to look around in awe. He knew of course that speakeasies existed and that people had ways of getting alcohol from Canada, but he had never tried it since prohibition happened. Well, he did a few times. But, the minute his mom died, he stopped what little bit he did drink.

"Why did you bring me down here? To drown my sorrows in whiskey?" Jay asked.

"No, I have a proposition for you."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "A proposition?"

"Yes, would you like to hear it?" He nodded. "Since people can't appear drunk on the streets because they'll face arrest and could possibly tell the sheriff about my speakeasy, I need people here to make sure that they sober up before they leave here at night. One of the two people I hired for this job quit last night because his family is moving out west."

Jay nodded, still very unsure where this was going.

"I was wondering if you'd like that job?" Hailey asked.

"You're offering me a job?" Jay asked, trying to maintain his composure.

"Yes. You can have it if you want it."

"I'll take it. Not to be rude, but how much would I be paid?"

"That's just the thing," Hailey began. "Liquor is getting more expensive to smuggle in and brewing supplies are getting more expensive as well because it's all illegal. So, I can't pay you." Jay's face fell. "But, before you say you can't do this, let me tell you one more thing: I have two spare bedrooms in my house. They're yours and Y/N's if you take the job."

"Hailey, I can't put you out like that. You'll have to feed us and I can't let you do that."

"Jay, I have money to pay for more food. Just not to pay for another worker because they always want their wages high since what we do here is so risky. It's no problem. And, think of Y/N. She'd have a roof over her head and she could even have that strawberry pie you said she liked so much," Hailey explained.

Jay couldn't pass up this offer, not when he would be kicked out of his apartment in two days. "Okay, I'll get mine and Y/N's things over here in the next few days. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"It means a lot to me, too. Sometimes men get a little rowdy down here, which is why I have to close when there's only one to help."

"So, that's what that guy was asking about when he asked if you're still on tonight?"

"Precisely."

Jay and Hailey walked back upstairs after Hailey turned off all the lights. Then, she pushed the island back into place and Jay headed over to you.

"Will you play Go-fish with me and Miss Hailey, Jay Jay?" you asked as you held a deck of cards out for him to shuffle.

"I most definitely will, pumpkin, " he said as he sat down on the floor and took the cards from you. "But, I have a question for you first."

"What is it?" you asked as you furrowed your eyebrows. Jay found it cute how concentrated you looked every time he said he had a question for you.

"How would you like to stay with Miss Hailey for a while?"

"What- What about you? You'll be here too, right? I don't want you to leave," you said as your lip started to tremble.

"Oh no," Jay quickly said. "I'll be here, too. I promise. We'll just be living here for a while. How does that sound?"

You nodded excitedly. "Can I bring my dolly, Emmy, here?"

Jay chuckled. "Yes, you can." He started shuffling the cards as Hailey walked back in. "Alright, time for a game of Go-fish."

As the three of you played the game on the carpet of Hailey's sitting room, Jay still couldn't believe it: Hailey Upton ran a speakeasy.

***

"What about this guy?" Jay asked as he held up an old stuff animal Dalmation that once belonged to Will that he found when he was cleaning out the apartment to move into Hailey's. "You want him on your bed, too?"

"Who's he?" you asked as you studied the stuffed animal.

"This was Will's, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you renamed him." He held the stuffed animal out to you and you took it and held it tight to your chest.

"I love him."

"What are you thinking for a name, pumpkin?"

You pursed your lips to the side, a telltale sign that you were in deep thought. "Spot."

"Spot," Jay repeated. "I think that's a perfect name. You think Spot and Emmy are going to be friends?" Emmy was the name of your doll.

"Best friends," you told him.

"Do you want to help me unpack my room or play in here?"

"Play in here," you answered as you picked up Emmy to play with along with Spot.

"Okay. I'll be right across the hall if you need anything."

Jay walked into his room where Hailey was already busying herself by making up Jay's bed.

"Hailey," Jay started, "you didn't have to do that. I'm perfectly capable of making my own bed."

"I'm not busy until tonight, so I figured I'd help you out. I can leave if you'd like some privacy while you unpack, though," Hailey replied.

"No, no, you're fine. This is your house after all. You're allowed to go wherever you want." Jay started busying himself with taking a few things out of a crate. "Can you tell me more about the job I'll be doing tonight?"

"So, tonight, people will knock on the back door. I usually let them in, but they have to say bakery because that's the secret word to be let in. If there's a new person, I'll grab you or Adam, the other guy who does the same job as you, to let him in because I don't know him personally."

"So, for your safety?" Jay asked.

"Exactly. Then, I make the drinks and one of you hands them to the customers. The other cleans tables once someone leaves. And, if the person still seems like a drunk before they leave, you have to stop them from leaving for a few hours until they're essentially back to normal. Typically, I'll explain this to them and it works fine, but sometimes I need some help because, well, I'm small and some of them think it's okay to get handsy."

"I won't let anyone lay a hand on you, Hailey. You have my word."

Hailey nodded. "Thank you. And, before you ask like Adam did about why I don't let you guys make the drinks, it's not that I don't trust you, it's that I know the proper proportions. And, if something happens and one of you is busy making drinks..."

"Something bad could happen to you. I get it," Jay said understandingly. "Being behind the bar is safest for you. You don't have to feel bad about putting your safety first, especially since what we are all partaking in is illegal."

"Thank you for understanding. Now, I'll let you unpack. Just yell downstairs if you have any questions. I'll be in the kitchen making something special for after dinner tonight."

"Please tell me Y/N didn't get a hold of you when I was outside and ask you to make strawberry pie."

"She didn't. And even if she did, I was already planning on making it. She's very polite, Jay. You don't have to worry about her not having manners. You've raised her quite well on that front."

"That means a lot, thank you. This all means so much, thank you."

"Hey, you needed help and I needed help. The feeling's mutual." With that, she left Jay alone to unpack and think about how he was staying with one of the most beautiful and kind-hearted women in the world.

***

"So how does this work?" Jay asked Hailey later that night after he had tucked you into bed.

"Jay, I already told you how it works. You just make sure I'm safe and no drunk customers leave or try to get handsy with me," Hailey answered as she was setting up the bar.

"I know that," Jay laughed. "I meant with Y/N. What do we do about her? She's sleeping in a place she doesn't know and I'm not in my room. I don't want her to get upset when she can't find us."

"Oh," Hailey said. "Guess I didn't think that far ahead." She paused as she thought about what she and Jay could do. "How about this: every fifteen minutes either you or I go upstairs to check on her."

"That works," Jay said.

There were thundering footsteps walking down the stairs.

"Hey, Adam," Hailey greeted when he got all the way down. "Jay, this is Adam. Adam, Jay."

Jay and Adam shook hands. "So you're the new replacement?" Adam asked and Jay nodded. "Don't worry, everything's pretty tame down here. There's just occasionally one or two rowdy newcomers because they haven't drank in a long time and forgot what their limits are."

"Good to know," Jay said.

"It's almost time to open, so how about me and Jay go upstairs for the first few customers so he can see how it's done," Hailey suggested.

Adam waved his hand. "Go ahead. Usually, I know most everyone's regular drinks, so I can handle bartending for a little bit."

"Thanks, Adam," Hailey said.

Jay and Hailey made their way upstairs and Jay went to check on you and then went back to Hailey.

"She still asleep?" Hailey asked.

"Out like a light," he answered.

There was a knock at the door. Hailey opened it a crack. "Bakery," the man said. It was the same one who asked a few days ago if they'd be open when Jay came over to ask Hailey to watch you while he went to the bank to see if he could take out a loan.

Hailey opened the door all the way and allowed him in. He came with a friend. "Christopher, Randall, welcome back," she said once they were all the way inside.

"Thank you," they both said.

"This guy new?" Christopher Hermann asked.

"Jay Halstead," Jay said as he stretched his hand out for Hermann to shake. "Pleasure to meet you."

"You as well. The real pleasure is being here where I can drink alcohol, am I right, Randall?" he asked as he turned to his friend.

"No doubt about it," he replied.

"Any stories from work today?" Hailey asked.

"No, just a simple cat caught in a tree. Nothing that caused somebody's house to burn and thank the Lord for that because of how hard it is to secure a loan for a house right now," Hermann answered.

"You two can make your way on in," Hailey said. "You know where to go."

"Thank you," Randall said and then the two walked away and towards the island that hid the speakeasy underneath.

"They're both firefighters," Hailey told Jay. "And, the one that Christopher kept calling Randall, well he told me that at the station they call him Mouch."

Jay furrowed his eyebrows. "Why? Why would a man want a nickname as silly as that?"

"Apparently it means half man half couch. But, just call him Randall. I'm not supposed to know about that nickname, but Hermann told me one night when he got a little too drunk."

"I'm sure Randall's wife is thrilled that he's a lazy bum," Jay said.

"Only at the station where he sits on the couch and listens to the radio until the bells go off. But, his wife, Trudy, can command a room."

Jay looked at his watch. "I should go check on Y/N again. Be right back."

He checked on you and you were still sound asleep.

After a few more customers came in, he went back downstairs and started his new job. It was hard not to like it when he got to look and talk to Hailey all night.

***

It had been a few months since you and Jay had moved in with Miss Hailey. Well, she was just Hailey to you now because she insisted you call her that. Jay insisted on you still calling her Miss Hailey, but Hailey had vetoed that decision.

Jay cracked an eye open as you excitedly pushed his door open. He quickly closed his eyes again and pretended to be asleep.

You pulled on his blankets. "Jay Jay! Jay Jay, wake up! It's Christmas!" He still pretended to be asleep. You pulled on his arm and he cracked his eyes open and rubbed them.

"Mhm, Y/N, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong, Jay Jay! It's Christmas! Do you think Santa came?" you asked excitedly.

"I think so," Jay said as he sat up and stretched. "Should we go see if Hailey's awake and then we can see if Santa came?"

You nodded excitedly and he got out of bed and you grabbed his hand, practically tugging him out of his bedroom.

You saw Hailey walking up the stairs with a tray with three mugs on it. "Hailey!" you exclaimed and quickly let go of Jay's hand and ran to her. "Did you go downstairs?" you asked excitedly.

"I did," she told you, letting out a small giggle at your excitement.

God, Jay loved that giggle. Hell, he loved everything about Hailey, her heart, her looks, how she wasn't afraid to run a speakeasy when it was illegal. For all intents and purposes, she was a little rebel and he loved it.

"Did Santa come? Did you see him?" you rushed out excitedly.

"I didn't see him, but he came. There's lots of presents and your stocking is almost overflowing."

You smiled widely and squealed in excitement.

"Here," Jay said as he walked up to Hailey. "Let me take that."

"Oh, sorry," Hailey apologized. "I figured I'd make us some coffee and for that little angel, there's some hot chocolate with whipped cream and a candy cane."

"Hear that, pumpkin?" Jay asked as he took the tray from Hailey. "Hailey made you hot chocolate with all the fixings."

"Thank you!" you exclaimed and then tried to reach for your mug.

"Pumpkin, it's hot. I'm gonna hand it to you when we get downstairs, how's that sound?"

"Okay, Jay Jay!"

When the three of you got downstairs, you gasped. Hailey wasn't kidding when she told you there were lots of presents and your stocking was overflowing. "Santa came! Santa came!"

"He did," Jay said as he set the tray on the coffee table. "Do you want to open your stocking while your hot chocolate cools down?"

"Yes please!"

Hailey walked over to the radio and turned it on to a low volume while Jay helped you get your stocking down. Then, he handed it to you and he and Hailey sat down on the floor next to you as you emptied it.

"Oranges!" you exclaimed as you pulled out two of them. "Chocolate...and candy canes!" You pulled out two more things, too, a new hairbrush and socks, but you were more excited for the chocolate and candy canes. "Your turn!" you told Jay and Hailey.

Inside theirs were only oranges, candy canes, and chocolate. They had both agreed to spend the money on you and not on each other.

You opened your presents and you had gotten a stuffed animal Mickey Mouse from Jay and a pack of cards that were specifically for Go-Fish. They had different color fishies on them! You also got a new nightgown from him.

"What's that?" you asked as you pointed to an object in the corner under the Christmas tree that was covered by a bedsheet.

"That, is my present to you," Hailey told you.

"Can I open it?" you asked as you clasped your hands in front of you as if in prayer.

Hailey laughed. "Yes, you can."

As you had been asking Hailey, Jay was wondering where this gift came from. He knew Hailey had been in charge of your stocking, but he didn't think she had gotten you anything else...much less something so big that it couldn't be wrapped.

You tugged the sheet off and gasped when you saw what was under it.

"A rocking horse!"

Jay's eyes went wide. She wasn't even supposed to get you anything and here she was with a brand new rocking horse for you.

Hailey walked over to you. "There's even a pocket on the side of the saddle so that Emmy and Spot can ride with you," she told you as she pointed it out to you.

"Jay Jay! Can you help me get on?"

Jay smiled and walked up to you and picked you up. "One...two...three!" He set you down on the rocking horse, but not before he threw you up in the air once and then caught you and placed you on the rocking horse.

You started moving back and forth on the rocking horse and singing the lyrics to Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. Jay and Hailey just watched you while they drank their coffee, enjoying the morning and seeing you so excited.

"Where's your presents?" you asked after a few songs. "Santa didn't bring you any?"

"He only brings presents to good little children, pumpkin," Jay told you.

"But you were good, Jay Jay!" you argued.

"I know," he chuckled. "But I'm a grown-up, so is Hailey."

You scrunched up your nose. "I don't wanna be a grown-up. It doesn't sound fun." Then you remembered something. "What about the presents I helped you with?" You looked down at the red tree skirt. "They're right there!" you exclaimed as you pointed to the two gifts that were still waiting to be unwrapped. You pointed to one. "That once's for Jay Jay from me and Hailey!" You pointed to the last gift. "And that one's for Hailey from me and Jay Jay!"

Jay got up and grabbed both gifts. "After you," he told Hailey, his eyes twinkling because he knew what was inside.

She gently took the wrapping paper off and then smiled and looked up at him. "How did you know this was my favorite book?" She ran a hand over the cover of a brand new copy of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. More importantly, she wondered how he could afford all this. She knew that she had started paying him a little a few months ago as prices for products dropped, but she knew it wasn't a lot.

"I noticed it on your bedside table one night when I brought you a cup of tea. I just assumed it was your favorite because of how worn the pages were. I'm glad I guessed correctly," he said.

"Thank you. This is- I love it," Hailey said. Her mom had given her a copy of that book once she reached second grade and her mom had helped her read it. She always remembered those good memories when she read it, which was why she's always read if she couldn't make it to the library, even to this day. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." His fingers brushed her hand.

Hailey turned to you. "Did you help your brother pick this out?"

"Yeah! I went to the bookstore with him! It was so big!" you told her as you continued rocking back and forth on your rocking horse. Jay had no doubt that that would be your favorite toy.

Hailey passed Jay his gift. It wasn't hard like her's had been, it was sort of flimsy as well.

"I wonder what it could be..." he trailed off, thinking that you would tell him.

"It's--" you clamped your mouth shut as you remembered what Hailey had told you. "Hailey told me I can't tell you yet! You gotta open it!"

"Okay, okay, I'm opening it." Jay also gently took off the wrapping paper so that it could be saved for next year's Christmas.

Jay removed the paper and saw what was inside: between two pieces of cardboard were two shirts. They were both made out of the same blue and white striped fabric, but one was short-sleeved and the other was long-sleeved. He held the long-sleeved one up to get a better look at it.

"Wow, Hailey, these are amazing. Did you make these?" he asked.

"I did. Y/N helped me pick out the fabric. She said you liked blue," Hailey said.

"Well, she's right. I do like blue."

"And, we figured we'd give you a long-sleeved one that can be worn almost any time and then a short-sleeved one for the summer months."

"You both made great choices. Thank you so much." He looked up at you. "Thank you, too, pumpkin. Now, can you get down and give me a hug or do I need to help you down?"

"I can do it!" You slid down off the rocking horse and then ran to Jay, barrelling into his open arms.

"Arghh, my favorite girls. No better way to spend Christmas."

Your stomach rumbled.

"I should get started on breakfast," Hailey said and stood up.

"I'll help," Jay offered. He let go of you and set you on the couch and then handed you your hot chocolate. "Can you do something for me?" he asked you.

"What is it?" you asked after you had taken a sip of your hot chocolate, getting whipped cream all on your upper lip.

"Can you not get on the rocking horse and stay here and listen to the radio until me or Hailey get back?"

"Okay!" You paused. "Can you put me on there now? I promise I'll be good," you pleaded.

Jay agreed, but only because it was Christmas. "Now, me and Hailey will be in the kitchen if you need anything. Merry Christmas, pumpkin."

"Merry Christmas, Jay Jay."

Jay handed you your hot chocolate to take one last sip and then you handed it back to him. Then, Jay and Hailey made their way into the kitchen to start on the Christmas breakfast.

Hailey opened the icebox as Jay began grabbing some plates...the fancy China ones that Hailey said she'd only get out for holidays.

"So, I'm one of your favorite girls?" Hailey asked while she took the cinnamon roll dough, which she had made a few days ago and rolled up, out of the icebox and set them on the counter.

"I mean, you are, but if you're uncomfortable with that...you know, I think I just meant to say favorite girl to Y/N, but I made it plural and--"

"Jay," she cut him off. "You're one of my favorite boys."

"Only one of them, huh?" he joked. "Who else is there?"

"The firefighters," she answered nonchalantly. "They were the ones who helped me with the rocking horse."

"I was wondering who made that."

"I just told Hermann one night that I thought Y/N would like a rocking horse, and he offered to build it with help from some of the other firefighters. All it took was a night of free drinks for each of them who helped."

"How'd you get it inside? It wasn't there last night."

"Hermann and some of the other firefighters stopped over early this morning and dropped it off. I just threw the bedsheet over it."

"So that's why you had coffee and hot chocolate all made up. You had been awake."

"Exactly right."

Jay opened the oven door turned the dial, then moved out of the way to allow Hailey to put the cinnamon rolls in the oven.

"You don't have to help me, you know," Hailey pointed out when she closed the oven door. She had never met a man so keen on helping her in the kitchen or with daily household chores before she had met Jay.

"Hailey, you tell me this every day. I've been used to cooking and cleaning for the past two years since it was just me and Y/N. I'm not going to wake up one day and stop doing that. Besides, I'm helping you out. You shouldn't have to do everything around here."

Hailey nodded and smiled. God, was Jay sweet and very handsome, too! "Well, in that case, do you want to get started on the eggs while I whip up the icing for the cinnamon rolls?"

"Uh, I was wondering if maybe you'd make the eggs?" Jay asked.

Hailey shrugged. "Okay."

"It's not that I don't want to do it," Jay backtracked. "Y/N just told me she prefers your eggs over mine."

"I think I know why," Hailey laughed.

Jay's eyes twinkled with humor as he looked at her. "Is that so?"

"It is so. It's because you whisk the eggs in the pan and not in the bowl before."

"So she likes the whites mixed with the yolks, got it," Jay replied and reached into the cabinet and grabbed Hailey a bowl. "In that case, care to pass me the icing recipe?"

She passed him a piece of paper and they worked in comfortable silence, the only noises to be heard were the sounds of whisking and sizzling and the faint sounds of the Christmas carols coming from the radio in the living room.

Hailey began plating the eggs and placed them on the counter. "I'll pop them back in the oven to keep them warm once the cinnamon rolls are almost done."

"Good idea. I'll go check on Y/N. Icing's finished as well."

Hailey nodded and then began filling the sink with warm water to start washing some of the dishes.

"I'll be back to help you dry in a minute, don't you worry."

"You'd never miss that," she joked and Jay shook his head as he walked over to go check on you.

When he saw you, he held back a laugh. You were still on the rocking horse, but your head was leaning against the horse's head, the reins loose in your hand, as you quietly snoozed away to the Christmas carols.

He thought about waking you up but thought that Hailey would like to see how adorable you looked as well. So, he walked back to the kitchen.

"Back so soon?" Hailey asked. "Where's my little angel?"

"She's asleep on the rocking horse. Guess waking up early and all the excitement of the presents really tired her out. She's adorable."

Jay waved his hand, signaling for her to follow him and she did.

Hailey cooed at how cute you were as the two of the them stood in the open doorway to the sitting room.

"She really is the cutest little girl alive," Hailey said.

"I'd do anything for that kid," Jay said.

"You're a good brother, Jay. Raising her to have manners and know how to behave, you did really well with her."

"Thank you. I just tried to do what my mother did for me and Will." Since their time together, Jay had told Hailey stories about his childhood and his parents. These were mostly told downstairs in the speakeasy when Hailey had allowed Adam to go home and it was just the two of them cleaning up together.

"Well, she'd be proud of you."

She looked up at his green eyes, which were gazing at her gently. Then, she looked up at the doorway and laughed softly.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing, it's nothing."

Jay looked up and spotted the mistletoe. They had hung it up there a week and a half ago when they had decorated for Christmas. But, they never really did the tradition of kissing under it; it was solely for decoration purposes.

"I don't think we can avoid it now since it's Christmas," Jay said. Hailey furrowed her eyebrows. "Hailey, we've been avoiding the tradition since we hung it up." He took a step toward her and grabbed her hand. "You're beautiful and I've never met anyone as kind-hearted and sweet as you and we're underneath the mistletoe." He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"That we are," Hailey agreed and smiled a toothy smile.

They looked into each other's eyes and all they saw was love and affection. So, Jay did what he wanted to do since they hung that piece of mistletoe: he leaned in and gave the most beautiful girl whom he had ever laid eyes on, a kiss and a Christmas kiss at that.

***

Winter had come and gone and spring was finally in the air. Jay and Hailey had finally admitted their feelings to each other and whenever they kissed, you always giggled...which caused Jay to pick you up and tickle you.

You were sitting in the garden with Hailey working on planting new flowers and vegetables, while Jay went inside to grab the three of you glasses of lemonade.

"Are these tomatoes, Mommy?" You asked as you picked up a package of seeds.

Hailey froze. Mommy. She most definitely wasn't your mommy.

"They are, baby. They'll be tomatoes once they get lots and lots of water and sun."

Jay was walking back at the same exact time you started to reply to Hailey. "Okay, Mommy! I can't wait to see them! I hope they're good."

"Hey, pumpkin," Jay said as he walked up to you and squatted down next to you. "You thirsty?" He sent Hailey a look that read that he had no idea what was going on with those names either. He held the glass of lemonade out to you.

"Thank you, Daddy!" you exclaimed as you took the glass of lemonade from him.

Jay's eyes widened and he looked at Hailey once more as you took big gulps of lemonade.

"Pumpkin, who are you calling Mommy and Daddy?" he asked gently, trying to word this as easy as possible so that you could understand it and so that it wouldn't upset you.

"You're Daddy and Hailey's Mommy!" you told him.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought I was Jay Jay."

"You are. But you're Daddy, too," you told him.

"Pumpkin, me and Hailey love you so, so much, but we aren't your mommy and daddy. Mommy and Daddy died when you were little," Jay told you as he took the empty lemonade glass from you.

"I know that," you said as you started digging another hole for more seeds, not grasping how important this conversation actually was.

"Then why are you calling us that?" Hailey asked as she twirled one of your braids between her fingers.

"Because Annie told me all about her mommy and daddy and you and Jay Jay do the same things as them. So you're like my mommy and daddy." Annie was one of the neighbor girls you'd play with outside occasionally. Her dad also came to the speakeasy every Saturday night...but you obviously didn't know that. You didn't even know what a speakeasy was, let alone that there was a speakeasy in the basement of your house. You moved the dirt from the hole and to the side of you.

"Y/N, we love you so much, but you..." Hailey trailed off, not knowing how to tell you that you couldn't call her and Jay Mommy and Daddy.

"You can't call us Mommy and Daddy, pumpkin," Jay told you.

Your lip began to tremble. "Why not? You are my mommy and my daddy."

"Why do you want to call us that?" Jay asked as his heart broke when he saw the tears forming in your eyes.

"Be- because you do Daddy things like pick me up and spin me around. And wake me up and tuck me in and let me sleep in your bed when I'm- when I'm scared."

"And Hailey?"

"She does Mommy things like tuck me in and wake me up, too. She helps me with my hair and you guys always give me bedtime kisses and stories."

Jay looked at Hailey. He really didn't know how to tell you that you couldn't call them that.

"Is there anything else, Y/N?" Hailey asked, looking directly at you as she started to rub your back to hopefully stop you from crying.

"I don't 'member Mommy and Daddy!" you cried and hurled yourself into Jay's arms. "I don't 'member them and I want a mommy and daddy!"

"Oh, pumpkin," Jay said. He never really thought about the fact that you wouldn't really remember your mom and dad and how you might call him that because that's what he seemed like to you. He knew you'd have questions, but he didn't think you'd try and call him and Hailey those titles. "You do have a mommy and daddy. They're just in heaven, remember?"

"But I don't 'member them!" you cried again.

"I know, I know. Would it help if I show you pictures of them?" Jay asked.

"You have pictures of 'em?" you asked, removing your head from Jay's chest.

You had only seen a few pictures of them that Jay had in his room in frames and those were the ones that used to be in your old apartment, too.

"I do. What do you say we all go inside and look at them?" Jay asked.

"Okay."

He helped Hailey to her feet and then placed you on his hip and the three of you made your way inside.

You stayed with Hailey on the couch in the sitting room while Jay went upstairs to grab a box of old pictures.

"This is our mommy and this is our daddy," Jay said as he pointed out the people in the picture when he sat down a few minutes later. "See, you have a mommy and daddy. You just can't see them right now."

"When can I see them?" you asked.

"Not for a long time until you go up in the sky to heaven," he told you.

"Like all the old people?"

Hailey laughed. "Yes, like all the old people," Jay answered.

He pulled out another picture. "There's Mommy, there's Daddy, there's Will, and there's me," he told you as he pointed to the people in the picture.

"Where am I?" you asked as your fingers brushed the black and white photograph.

"You are right here." He pointed to your mommy's belly.

"But that's mommy's tummy, Jay Jay. I'm not there!"

"Yes, you are. You had to grow big and strong and then one day you just came here," he explained.

You placed your hand on Jay's belly. "Where's your baby, Jay Jay?"

Hailey held back laughter while Jay placed his big hand on top of your small one. "I can't have babies."

You cocked your head to the side. "Why not?"

"Because..." he trailed off, looking to Hailey for support.

"Y/N," she began. "That's a talk for when you're bigger." She grabbed a deck of cards from the table in front of you. "Do you want to play Go-Fish? I'll even get you some more lemonade."

That piqued your interest. "Yes, please!"

You slid off the couch and Jay breathed a huge sigh of relief. He had no idea what he'd do without Hailey Ann Upton.

***

"Wow," Jay mused as he looked at the morning newspaper while he and Hailey were sipping their morning coffee.

"What? Shocked that Y/N's still sleeping? Maybe she fell asleep late because she was so excited to go to the fair today," Hailey said.

"No, no," Jay said. "It's not that, even though I am shocked that she's still sleeping when it's eight o'clock already. But, no, they're thinking about ending prohibition."

"What?" Hailey gasped.

"Right here." Jay passed the newspaper to Hailey and pointed to the heading which is what told them that the US only needed one more state to ratify the 21st amendment, which at this point looked like it would be Utah.

Hailey skimmed the article. "Wow. You're right. I mean, I think we kind of knew this was coming, but I didn't think it would actually happen."

"Me neither. Do you know what you're going to do if it does become legal?"

"I mean, I've obviously thought about it, but not all the way if you know what I mean. I kind of wondered about it, but I never made a plan." Hailey tried her best to explain how she had been thinking.

"Do you want to stay in Chicago?" Jay asked.

"I don't know. I love the city, but I'd also like to have the country air. Give Y/N a big yard to run around in instead of the small one we have now."

"Jay Jay! Hailey!" you exclaimed as you ran into the kitchen.

"Speak of the devil," Jay laughed. "We'll talk more about it later." He turned to you as you pulled yourself up on a kitchen chair. "You excited for the fair, pumpkin?"

"Yeah!" you exclaimed. "I can't wait to see all the animals!"

"Which ones do you want to see the most?" Hailey asked.

"The piggies!"

"The piggies, huh?" Jay asked. "Why are they your favorite?"

"They're pink and they're fat and they're cute!"

"Pink, fat, and cute," Hailey repeated. "Great description of pigs. How about me and Jay Jay get started on breakfast and then we can get going. How does that sound?"

"Yay! Piggies!"

Jay laughed and got up to help Hailey with breakfast while you were practically vibrating in your seat with the excitement at the thought of seeing all the animals at the fair.

***

"Piggies!" you exclaimed as you saw them in their pen and tugged on Jay's hand to make him walk faster. "C'mon, Jay Jay!"

Jay laughed. "They'll still be there in a few minutes when we get there."

"There's chickens, too!" Hailey told you. "Maybe you'll see some babies, do you remember what those are called from the book we read about animals at the library?"

"Chicks!"

"Great job!" Hailey praised.

By now you had made your way to the pen and tugged Jay's hand when you walked into it.

"Piggy!" you exclaimed as you ran up to one.

"What sound does a pig make, Y/N?" Jay asked as he crouched down next to you to make sure you didn't put your hands near the pig's mouth.

"Oink oink! Mr. Piggy says oink oink!" you said, quoting the book you and Hailey read the other day.

"She must've really liked that book," Hailey said.

"Obviously," Jay agreed as you kept petting the pig. The pig made its snorty oink oink sound which caused you to pull your hand away and giggle loudly.

"Can we get a piggy, Jay Jay?" you asked.

"Not while we're in Chicago, Y/N," Jay told you.

"So if we go out of Chicago, we get one?" you asked hopefully.

"Maybe, pumpkin, maybe."

***

"So, what are you thinking?" Jay asked a few days later when it was he, Adam, Hailey, Hermann, and a few others in the speakeasy late at night.

"I don't know," Hailey said. "But, you saw how Y/N looked with those farm animals and how she loved petting all of them."

"So, you want to move out of Chicago?" Jay asked.

"I don't know, but it sounds like you've thought a lot about it. Care to enlighten me?"

"Oregon, Wisconsin, New York. Those are all options," Jay shrugged.

"I thought we were getting out of the city and not going into another one," Hailey joked. "So why New York?"

"Upstate New York, where there'd be all the forests and wilderness. Obviously, we wouldn't be living out in the middle of nowhere. I don't think either of us would enjoy that."

"No, not in the slightest," Hailey agreed.

Hermann walked up to them. "So, if you two leave with the kid, what's gonna happen to this place?" he asked.

"Didn't your mother ever teach that listening to others' conversations is actually quite rude?" Jay asked.

"Well, sorry. But all us firefighters will have to find a new place to blow off some steam," Hermann replied.

"We'll only be leaving if prohibition actually ends," Hailey explains. "Still waiting on one more state to ratify the amendment."

"So, if it does end, what are you thinking?" Hermann asked.

"Alright, spit it out already," Jay joked. "What are you thinking, Hermann?"

"Well, I'm thinking about retiring soon and if it ends, I'd love to have a business endeavor to throw myself into. If I don't have anything to work on, the missus will not be happy with me."

"So, what are you saying?" Jay asked.

"Hailey Upton, if prohibition ends and you and Jay decide to leave, would you allow me to buy this place and turn it into the most booming bar in all of Chicago?"

"I--"

"Excuse me?" A man asked rudely as he leaned over the bar. "I've been waiting on another drink for minutes now!"

"Sir," Hailey began, "I can only give you so much because we need you to be sober enough when you walk outside to leave."

"I'm paying for this! You can't tell me how much I can and can't drink!"

"Sir--"

"Make me my damn drink, bitch!"

He reached out a hand to grab Hailey's wrist, but she jumped back so she was out of his reach.

"Reach over that bar one more time and I will lay you out where you stand," Jay told him sternly.

"I highly doubt that," he scoffed and went to reach over the bar again.

But, Jay was too fast and landed a solid punch to the man's jaw.

"Son of bitch," he muttered as he grabbed his jaw.

"Believe me now?" Jay asked smugly. Then, he turned to Adam. "Care to take care of this?"

"Yeah, I got it." Then, he turned to the man who was still grabbing and massaging his jaw. "You need to go take a seat, buddy, while I get you some ice. Because, hate to break it to you, but we're not letting you leave for at least another hour."

The man groaned but reluctantly went to take a seat while Adam got him some ice...mostly because he didn't want another punch to the jaw from Jay.

Jay walked behind the bar. "Are you okay?" he asked Hailey.

"I'm fine. He didn't even touch me," she replied.

"Still," Jay said. "I'd really prefer if you went upstairs and went to sleep. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Jay, I'm--"

"Hailey," Hermann cut her off. "I can make the drinks. You just go upstairs and get some rest."

"Hermann, I can't pay you for this. And, do you even know how to make all the drinks?" Hailey asked.

"I'm fine with not being paid, Hailey. I just want to help you out and make sure you're safe, just like Jay here. And, I've been here enough and seen you make the drinks that I'm pretty sure I can handle it."

"Okay," Hailey relented.

"I'll walk you upstairs," Jay offered. "Can you two handle it if I'm gone for a few minutes?" Jay asked Adam and Hermann.

The two said they were fine and Jay and Hailey went upstairs.

"If prohibition ends," Hailey began when Jay and Hailey were almost to her bedroom, "I think we should take Hermann up on his offer."

"Hailey, that's a big decision. Are you sure you don't want to think about it?" Jay asked as he grabbed her hand.

"Tonight opened my eyes. Late nights, the possibility of being in situations I don't want to be in. If we have kids, I'm going to need to be there with them."

"Hailey, I'd love to have kids with you. But, I'm lost. What does this have to do with selling the speakeasy to Hermann?"

"If we have kids, I want us to be there for them at night when they have nightmares, not one of us going upstairs every fifteen minutes to check on them like we do with Y/N. And, if it's all legal, we'll have more rowdy customers. I don't want either of us to get hurt and I also don't want one of the kids to walk downstairs, if we have kids, and see angry customers," Hailey explained.

"I understand that. It's your decision, though. You own the speakeasy. It's your decision. I'll be with you on whatever you decide to do."

"Jay, I love you so much and I never want to be without you. And if you want to move, I'm going with you. I'm going where you go."

"I love you, too. And, you're gonna have to put up with me for a long time because I'm not leaving you."

***

"We've got everything, right?" Jay asked as he and Hailey looked on to the house. Jay held suitcases in his hand and so did Hailey. You held Spot and Emmy close to you.

"You sure about this?" Hermann asked. "You still have an hour before the train comes to back out."

"We're sure, Christopher," Hailey confirmed. "Everything is ready for us in New York."

"My brother had a lot to do with that," Jay supplied.

Prohibition had officially ended a month ago and when Jay had told Will over a quick phone call what was going on, he was shocked, to say the least. But, he agreed to try and find a place for them in upstate New York. So, he took Natalie and his three kids on a day trip there where they looked at some houses and went through the shops and got ice cream. Then, Will told Jay he had found the perfect place. So, Jay and Hailey sent him the money and Will bought the house for them.

"Bar have a--" Jay was quickly cut of by you asking a question.

"What was Mommy's name?" you asked.

"It was Molly," Jay answered. "But, we don't interrupt, okay?"

"Sorry. But, Hailey told me she'd get me another dolly when we get to New York and now I'm gonna name her Molly."

"That's great, pumpkin, really great. Anyway," he started, turning his attention back to Hermann, "Bar have a name yet?"

"You know, I think Molly's would be a good name," he answered.

You gasped. "You're gonna name the restaurant after my mommy? Did you hear that, Jay Jay?"

"I did. Hermann, you can't. It's your bar."

"I know. But, if your mom didn't have you, then you wouldn't have fallen in love with Hailey, and I wouldn't be getting the most important thing to me: the bar," he told him.

"I'm telling Cindy you said that," Hailey joked.

"You wouldn't do that. You're too nice for that, Hailey."

"So, it's Molly's?" Hailey asked.

"The bar's Molly's."

"Well, take good care of it. I didn't run it illegally for years just to have it be destroyed by a regular."

"Don't you worry. And, if all else fails, at least the firefighters will come to it."

***

"This is our house?" you asked excitedly when Will picked the three of you up from the train station. Apparently, he and Natalie made enough money to feed them and their three children and still have enough money to afford a car.

"It is, pumpkin. And look over there." Jay pointed outside the car to a pen...well two pens and a chicken coop.

"Piggies!" you exclaimed. You gasped. "We get to keep them?"

"We do," Jay confirmed.

"There's even a horse that you can ride," Hailey told you.

"Like my rocking horse?"

"Just like that. But you can feed him and brush him. And we have hens, too. Those are the girl chickens."

"They lay the eggs?"

"That's right," Will said. "You sure know a lot about animals, pumpkin. Are you gonna be a veterinarian when you get bigger?"

"What's that?" you asked as you furrowed your eyebrows.

"So, I'm a doctor for people, but you'd be a doctor for animals."

You gasped. "Yay! I wanna be a betternanian!"

Everyone laughed at your pronunciation of the word veterinarian, but you were too excited to realize you had said it wrong and to even care.

As Jay grabbed a few things out of the car and made his way to the house, he reminisced on how he got here. If he hadn't had his route changed as a milkman, if he wouldn't have gotten fired and gotten an eviction notice, then he wouldn't have met the love of his life, Miss Hailey Anne Upton...even though he hoped he'd be able to change her title to Mrs. Hailey Anne Halstead in the next few months. And, even though he had to go look for a job tomorrow, he had a home with you and Hailey, you were happy with all the animals, and he was closer to the rest of his family in Will, Natalie, and his nephews and niece, and that was all that mattered.

A/N I hope you liked the first AU of AU-gust! I think the next one I will be writing will be a high school AU. If you have any ideas for AUs, feel free to comment or send me an ask! As always, thank you for reading! Don't forget to reblog/like and comment as notifications always make my day! And, if you like my writing, you can support me at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Kayela It's only a dollar and it's through Paypal and any currency can be used, no subscription required! (I write these fics for free, so I figured I'd try this out!) Finally, if you want to be added to my taglist, just comment and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

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maxineswritingcenter · 4 years ago

Text

Bray Road - Fox Mulder x nonbinary!reader part 7

TW: Remains

It was so interesting how different things can change how you feel. On (Y/N)’s cheek they could feel the soft cotton their dad’s blue sweater he liked to wear. They remembered laying their head on his shoulder after they fell asleep in the car on a long trip. On their right, their fingertips brushed an objected that made them remember their mother’s wedding ring. They remembered fiddling with it as a small child, moving it from side to side on their mother’s finger because it was too big for her slender digits. They smiled to themself, surrounded by familiar feelings and senses.

But...how?

(Y/N)’’s blood ran cold as they opened their eyes and was met with the skeletal face of their father. Looking to their left, they saw their fingers playing with their mother’s wedding ring on her skeletal hand. (Y/N) screamed, scrambling across the dirt floor to move away from the remains of their parents. Both of their clothes were in tatters, covered in blood, bugs and rats crawling through the skeletons. Roots of trees rooted them to the dirt walls Their bones were brown, their hair was straw like and white.

“I thought you would like to see them.” Winterfield came from the shadows, much less hairy than he had been earlier that night, “Give you the closure you deserve. Twenty-five years of waiting to find them.” He walked towards them with his arms behind his back, he wore black sweatpants but was bare everywhere else. Their eyes were brought to their arm, a cotton swab was tapped to their arm, tell-tale signs of an injection. (Y/N) glared at him.

“What did you do to me?!”

“I gave you what you needed!” He came closer, “I gave you the ability to become stronger, faster, healthier. To be perfect.”

“I don’t want to be a monster!”

He chuckled at their words, “A monster. That is exactly what I said to my maker. I was only fourteen when I was turned. I was a weak, frail child, sickly. I was dying and my family brought us to our lake house for one last vacation. And that’s when he found me and made me what I am. He made me strong again, so strong that I killed him myself after my bloodlust started attracting the locals and he called me dangerous. I realized after that that I needed no one, so I killed my family. But I became lonely, I wanted to share this gift that been given to me. I decided that I would make more, taking children like you and make them strong, for them to realize their true potential. It took years of trial and error, but finally I perfected the transformation. By introducing canine DNA into their systems, they were more likely to take to the gift.” He kneeled down in front of them, “You were my vision. A sickly child that could be healed by the transformation. But your parents took you away. I had to get rid of them, you understand.” He stood again, “They would not let you get better.” He grabbed a hold of their arm and tugged them into standing, “Just one bite. And you’ll be like me.” He looked up and they followed his gaze above, a lattice work of roots on the roof of the cave, revealing the moon near its peak. He looked back down, bringing their arm closer to his mouth where sharp teeth.

“Wait!” They said, causing him to pause with his mouth open.

“You want this to be perfect, don’t you? You should wait until the moon is as its highest.” (Y/N) rambled.

“You’re right.” He smiled, dropped their arm, “I should also prepare what you’ll have as your first kill. But then again, once the thirst starts, it won’t end well for your partner. I am so glad you finally understand. And soon, we will see the world through the same eyes.” He made his way back into the shadows.

(Y/N) bought Mulder time, but would it be enough?

After getting back out of the woods, Mulder led the Elkhorn sheriff’s department back to Winterfield’s home, the idea being that he would take her back to the cellar where the other body was found. But maybe... that wasn’t the case. He made an abrupt right turn onto Stuart Drive.

“Where the hell are you goin’, agent?” The sheriff’s voice crackled in over the walkie talkie they had given him.

“Bray road has been this guy’s feeding ground, I think he’s taken (Y/N) there to turn them. Once they becomes a beast, they’ll associate the road with food, he’s starting the cycle over with (Y/N).”

“Bray road goes out for miles, how are we going to find them?” He asked.

Mulder thought a moment, “We spread out in a fifty mile radius around the site of the most recent killings. I think that he took Jason there before dumping him back on the road since he was the only one left alive.”

When they made it to the area, the officers surrounded Mulder as they looked over a map.

“We start here and branch out. Please use your weapons with the silver bullets, your regular rounds will not work. We are looking at a monster, not a man. He is to be treated as an on-site shot. He is extremely dangerous and will kill you. Agent (Y/L/N) is top priority. Go out in pairs and keep your flashlights on when it gets dark.” He sent the officers on their way. The sheriff came up to him, cocking his shotgun.

“Lead the way, Agent Mulder.”

After a while into their search of the woods, the sheriff spoke up.

“So, do you think he’s already... bit, Agent (Y/L/N)?” Mulder had put off thinking of this, not wanting imagine them turning into a monster. Thinking about it though, (Y/L/N) was smart. Smart enough to get him on a case with them when he would only work with Scully or alone. (Y/N) believed in the truth and fought for the justice that their family deserved. He looked up at the sky, seeing the moon was getting closer to its apex.

“(Y/L/N) is smart, I’m sure they bought us some time.” He said, then tripped over a root in the ground. The sheriff caught him by the shoulder and steadied him.

“Whoa, there, Agent. Gotta watch out for those roots. These trees have root systems that go out for miles, they can make some pretty big sink holes too.” He said. Mulder looked down at the thick tree root that caught his shoe and an idea popped into his head.

“Are there any large sinkholes in this area?” Mulder asked.

“I do believe, about a mile or so that’a’way.” The sheriff motioned to the west.

“I got a hunch.” Mulder said, the both of them making their way towards the sinkhole.

When they made it to the sink hole, they found a large gaping hole in the Earth, there were deep grooves around the rim that seemed to be created in a clawing motion.

“I think this is where he’s been hiding,” The sheriff was down on one knee, looking at the foot prints in the soft dirt, “Looks like he’s left here recently, but he could be back at any second. You go down there and get Agent (Y/L/N), I’ll keep watch.” He stood. Mulder nodded, carefully scaling down the wall on the sink hole using roots and natural footholds in the dirt. He go the bottom, and flashed his light down to reveal a tunnel. If (Y/L/N) was any where, here was probably a good place to search.

He made his way until he saw light again, a voice caused him to pause.

(Y/N) was sat against the wall of the cave, watching the moon move across the sky. Winterfield would be back any minute and they would turn into a monster just like him. Tears burned in their eyes as they looked back at their parents. One of their father’s arms had been ripped away and half of their mother’s face gone.

“I’m sorry.” They said, biting their lip to try and stop crying, “I promised you I would never come back here. But I had to find you. I had to find the truth.” They hiccupped and laughed sadly, “I guess I did it though. The mystery is solved. But I’m going to be a monster just like him.”

“(Y/L/N)?” They stood up quickly at the voice, fearing that Winterfield was back. But to their overwhelming joy, Fox Mulder appeared in the moon light.

“Mulder.” (Y/N) breathed out, running to greet him at the tunnel mouth, wrapping their arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. After the excitement subsided, they realized they were hugging their superior and that really wasn’t appropriate-

Mulder pulled them closer, hugging them around their waist. They were quite sure he could feel their heart pounding. He created space between the two, placing his hand on their cheek. His green eyes were filled with happiness and his sly smile graced his face.

“You found me.” They whispered, leaning into his touch.

He nodded, “Yeah, us spooky people gotta stick together.” He looked over, seeing the skeletons in the corner.

“Is that...?”

They pulled away, and looked at them, “Yeah, that’s mom and dad.”

“I promise. We’re going to give them the proper funeral.” He said.

“I’m afraid, Agent Mulder.” Both the agents frozen at the growling voice that came from the shadows of the tunnel, “The only funeral will be yours.”

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Read the final part here!

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are appreciated!

We’re coming up on the ending, what’s gonna happen?!

Bray Road taglist:

@theres-a-dog-outside-omg

@nyotamalfoy

@bi-andready-tocry

#fox mulder x reader #xfiles fic #maxineswritingcenter

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heyheshi · 4 years ago

Text

Love Me Again

2.2k words

written and uploaded: August 9, 2020

🌙 - angst

Please like and reblog! Also please don't post my writings anywhere!!

I wrote this as a thank you for your support this past month! I've been writing here for exactly a month now! Also thank you for 100 followers! I love you all!!

Y/N - your name

Y/S/N - your second name (middle name)

Y/L/N- your last name

Masterlist

_________

It has been almost 7 months since you and Harry broke up after being together for two years. You're disappointed to say the least, you thought you were going to marry him at some point in your life but then one evening he told you that your relationship was 'too much to handle at the moment'.

Of course, you being you decided to agree with him even though deep inside you don't want to break up. You understood where he was coming from, you were both still young and only at the peak of your careers and the distance often became too much.

You love him, you really do and you would have fought for your relationship if it wasn't for the look of tiredness in his eyes. You tried, he tried, but somehow in the middle, it wasn't enough - so you let him go.

It was really difficult for you to deal with the breakup - neither you or him dated other people, or at least not that you know of - having to pack your bags and move out of your shared home to a different city is already tough but you know that seeing him with someone else will shatter you.

He's more successful than he did the last time you saw him, awards after awards, deals after deals, more fans and more recognition for him and you couldn't be prouder, after all, partly the reason you broke up is his job and you'll be damned if you found out that you let your relationship go for nothing.

You're happy. You focused on your job and your family, saved enough money to buy your own car and helped at this local charity that supports disabled children but it wasn't enough. You are happy but you aren't fulfilled and you know what - or rather who - is the missing piece.

You haven't heard anything from him, only catching him on the news every now and then with your busy schedule, unlike before. So here you are now, busying yourself in hopes that you'll magically stop thinking about him every second, on a Saturday morning on your local park for the weekly charity work you do.

After your break up, you decided to help this charity to keep you busy and since you love kids, it’s hard for you to stay away. Every week, there's a feeding program for the children along with a few gifts and games for them with the help of some of the donator.

Today was like every other week, you fed the children and now one of the friend you made here is hosting a game for the kids. Later on you'll give them lunch then a guest will read them a book and bond with them before the day ends.

Speaking of the guest, you haven't met them, you've been busy with the food and you shake your head at yourself - 'I should have greeted them, shame on you Y/N, they're your guests!'

Quickly retouching your hair a bit to find the other guests, you bumped to Jessie, another helper in this charity, "oh I'm so sorry Y/N!", she frantically said, maneuvering over you.

"Hey hey, wait! Was there a problem?", you asked your friend before looking back at the kids to check if there's something wrong.

"Yes, I left something on the building! It was the prizes for the kids! Oh god they're gonna be so sad if I didn't bring it here on time!", Jessie stressed while running her fingers through her hair.

"I'll go get it. Yo-"

"It's my fault, Y/N, I'll get it!"

"I have my car", you took your car keys from you loops of your jeans and showed her, "will you take care of the food?"

Sighing in relief, Jessie nods, "of course!", she hugged you, "you're a life saver! Thank you so much!"

"It's no problem at all, now I gotta go!", you walked backwards to your car while waving at her.

That was almost two hours ago, the building wasn't far, only a 20 minute drive but the traffic on Saturday's always horrendous and it doesn't help that you forgot to ask Jessie where she stored the prizes and that no one is answering their phones.

Locking your car while you clutch two big bags full of toys towards the tent where you can see a glimpse of the children listening quietly to the guest that's reading them a story.

You found Jessie went to her, "you made it!", helping you with one of the bags, "I had to make an excuse to the children about how the guests couldn't wait to read them stories! Thank God they bought it!"

You laughed at her relief, "couldn't find it! You forgot to tell me where you put these stuff!", bumping your shoulders on hers, "I'm charging you for my gas! Traffic was horrible!"

"I know! I know! So sorry about that! By the way have you meet the guests?", her eyes went wide while mentioning your guests.

"Haven't had the time", you sigh overexaggerately, "supposed to, before I bumped in to you!"

"Come on! I'll introduce you to them!", she took your right arm and pulled you towards the kids, "they're like crazy famous and the-"

"Mister Harry Styles! You're up! Kids give Mister Styles around of applause!"

Shit shit shit shit shit, you paused in your tracks making Jessie look at you. On the background you can hear Harry introduce himself to the kids and starting to read the title of the story.

It has been a long time since you last heard his voice in person and it gave you flashbacks but you have to stay strong, you're not here for him, you're here for the kids.

Deciding that it was for the best to stay as low-key as possible, you excused yourself from Jessie and went to the other tent where the other stuff were placed.

No one here knew that you dated Harry, you opted on using your first name when you moved here, knowing his fans might notice you since you grew up with everyone calling you by your second name.

You busied yourself with everything you see, childish - it is, but you don't know if you can face him as much as you miss him.

You heard the children cheered so you went to look at the commotion. Harry just finished reading the story then one of the kids raised their hand.

"Mister Styles I'm Dolly. What is your favorite part of the story?"

"Call me Harry, Dolly. Probably the part where the character realized how wrong he was for doing the things he did...", Harry answered then another kid raised their hand, "Yes?"

"I'm Brady, um have you ever experienced that? Letting something go then regretting it? My dog had a puppy but we had to give her puppy away because we can't afford another pet and our dog looks sad all the time now."

You continued to listen to the interaction between Harry and the kids, interested on his personal answer.

"I'm so sorry about your dog and puppy and I did. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made. In your terms, I was you and the dog at the same time. I had to let someone go then quickly regret it, I was miserable but time heals and I'm sure your dog will be happy soon!"

After a few more questions, Harry stepped out of the small stage to take some pictures with the kids. You went back on the other tent to hide.

His answer on the second question made you think but as fast as the thought came to your mind, you dismissed it. 'It's not important anymore.'

"Y/N! You haven't met our guests!", Jessie yelled from the other tent making you look up to her and then closed your eyes tightly.

You saw Harry and a few other people beside him, the kids now receiving their prizes with the help of the other people who helps with the charity.

You turned your back around them to compose yourself then walked towards them as you don't want to seem rude to the sponsors.

"Mister Harry Styles and Mister Jeff Azoff, Missus Mary Richardson and Miss Lisette Raj, this is Y/N Y/L/N, one of our helpers out here!", Jessie introduced you while you smiled at the 3 other people, avoiding eye contact with Harry.

You knew Jeff, of course, you met him a few times and by the way Harry stiffens, it seems like he connected the dots even with your second name being used.

"Y/S/N, it's a surprise to see you here!", Jeff greeted you using your second name, the one everyone from before knew you by as he pulled you in a hug.

"Oh you two know each other? What a coincidence!", Jessie mused.

You uncomfortably chuckled, "yes, we do..."

"It's so nice to meet you Miss Y/L-"

"Please call me Y/N!", you smiled at Mary, "thank you so much for donating! We appreciate it, especially the kids!"

"It was always a pleasure to help! Harry wanna say something?", Lisette tried to joke but you, Harry and Jeff didn't laugh.

Harry cleared his throat and put his hands on his back, "thank you so much for having us, the kids are great!", looking at you straight in the eyes.

You shifted on your place and replied, "no, thank you.", you nodded your head and smiled tightly, "if you all don't mind I'm gonna go and check on the kids, yea?"

"We'll join you!", Mary proposed nudging Lisette. You only nodded at them and started walking.

"Wait! I- miss Y/L/N, can I talk to you for a second?", Harry's voice made you stop, turning around slowly you answered him a small 'yes' then walking back.

"I'll join Mary and Lisette.", Jeff said before he waved goodbye. Jessie looked at you questionably before joining the kids.

You and Harry walked a bit far away in complete silence until Harry started talking.

"Y/N huh?"

"Yea, it's my name."

"No, your name is Y/S/N!", Harry retorted so you stopped walking and faced him.

"Things changed.", you said looking at him in the eyes.

Harry sigh, "I'm so sorry Y/S/N..."

"Me too. I'm so sorry I fell in love with you in the first place."

"I- no! Did you regret it? Us?", Harry tried to meet your eyes but you refused.

"I don't know, you tell me", you looked at his eyes at last, "did you?"

You're met with silence as Harry pondered. You can feel your heart beating so fast, scared of what his answer might be, finally, "the only thing I regret was letting you go..."

"Oh come on, I was just joking!", you tried to laugh, "that was so long ago! Forget about it! I've moved on!", you poked his biceps hoping he wouldn't hear your uneasiness.

"Were you really? Because fuck! I'm being serious right now!", Harry raked his hand through his hair signifying his frustration, "was that it? Our two years? Have you really moved on?", his voice weakened as he speaks, quickly clearing his throat, "I mean of course I'm happy if you moved on! I just thought that maybe..."

"Maybe what?", you urged your ex.

"I don't know... what happened to us?", his voice cracked as he looked up to the sky.

"We broke up.", you deadpanned.

"I know, I'm so sorry about everything. I should have never let you go. I thought breaking up with you will make everything easier but I was wrong... so so wrong love..."

You didn't answer him knowing that you'll cry if you did.

"Are you happy?", Harry tried to coax an answer out of you.

"I am... you?", you doubted but answered anyway.

"I'm- I'm lost, so so lost. I thought everything will be fine but it wasn't.", Harry sobbed but wiped his tears as quickly as it came.

"You'll be okay, Harry. Us, you and me, it wasn't meant to be.", you tried to reason him.

He turned his body to you, "it was! But I was an idiot and if I can hold you in my arms again and say that you're mine for one last time, I'll do it in a heartbeat...", and that's when your first tear fall.

"Harry this is wrong!"

"I know! Being without you feels so wrong but we can make it right again! I'll do anything to have you back Y/S/N! I still love you.", he whispered.

"We can't."

"Are you seeing someone else?", the look on his eyes made your heart shatter, you only shake your head.

"Give me another chance, baby. I promise we'll take it slow, I'll do anything! Fuck anything love, just say it!", his desperate eyes met yours as he clutched both of your hand in his.

"But it was my fault too! I'm so sorry! But this," you motioned the space between the two of you, "I don't know!", you cried out.

Harry continued to beg, "it's okay baby but please, please, you were it for me love! I promise I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.

"Harry...", you whimpered.

"Y/S/N, love me again."

_____

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cilliansaccent · 5 years ago

Text

The Peaky Designer - Cillian Fanfic, Chapter 7

Hello, welcome back. Below is the next instalment of my fanfiction!

Leave a like or a comment if you liked it, or if I can do anything better! Please, it would mean the world and to understand if anyone is enjoying my writing. Also, sharing/reblogging would be even better.

PLEASE READ:

I will not be including Cillian’s family as it’s kinda weird since he has children lmao. Just a mention of his parents and a previous lover.

I will indicate in a chapter if there is smut in the beginning and before the actual scene!!

I will add trigger warnings if there is any!!

There is a variety of levels of swearing during a chapter, I will not hold back, everyone swears.

The timestamp for the Fic is now 2016 and onwards!!

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Background: Gabrijela Babic is a Croatian girl from Sydney, Australia. She is born in the year 1991 on the 24th of December. She studies a Fashion degree in a University with a major in Game Design as well. Her teacher in the fashion designer class managed to nail an Internship on the set of Peaky Blinders with the shows very own Costume Designer, Allison McCosh. There, she travels to London for under a year to learn how to be one, working alongside the actors as well the man she admires, Cillian Murphy. But, her platonic feelings for the man begins to grow into something more, and she wonders whether she should pursue them or let him go for fear of her strict parents and her three older brothers…

Characters:

Swantje Paulina as Gabrijela Babic (swalina on Instagram)

Cillian Murphy

Word Count: 2,835

!!Warnings!!: None.

Date: March 2016

Chapter Name: A Day in Bath

Brief Chapter Outline: Gab spends the day in Bath with Cillian

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Logan rolled over and laid on his back, panting softly. They had gone another round this morning. "Damn." She laughed softly, pushing her hair out of her face, "You are so wild." "I didn't hurt you, did I?" He turned to face her now. "No. You didn't. You were very good." She leaned over and kissed him deeply. "Mhm." He smiled and pulled her on top as they continued to kiss slowly and deeply. Though Gab's phone began to ring and she pulled away to grab it, "Hello?"

"Hey, Gabrijela." Cillian's voice made her heartache. "Hi, how are you?" She asked as she rolled off Logan, sitting upright. "I'm doing fine. May I come up?" He asked. "Uh, um. Yeah. Give me a moment." She said and hung up. "Logan uh, you gotta go." She said with a blush. "Why? Who was that?" He asked as he sat up, sitting in the bed. Waiting for her to tell him. "Uhm... Cillian. I promised him today I'd hang out with him." Gabrijela got up and grabbed their various clothing across the floor. She hastily tugged on her pyjamas. "Cillian? Why?" Logan frowned as he started to get changed. "Why not? He's a nice guy, besides we got a friendship going. We got stuff in common." She didn't like the judgement like tone Logan used. "Huh. Alright. Seems like you both are quite close." He said as he put on his watch, a strange look on his face. "Yeah. We're friends... why?" She tilted her head to the side, he was holding back something. "Logan. Talk." He sighed, "We heard you spent the night with him while on set." He said finally, looking at her, "And... overheard things." Gabrijela's cheeks warmed, and she looked away quickly, "Nothing happened. Whoever said they heard something was wrong." "Gabrijela, your face clearly speaks the truth. Whatever. Just know you gotta be careful." Logan fixed his hair in the mirror before tucking his phone and wallet into his pockets. "Be careful? For what? We didn't fuck." She snapped, "Ugh. Why does everyone have to tell me what I should and shouldn't do?" She groaned in frustration. "I'm not saying anything. Just be wary." He said with a hint of annoyance. "Whatever, you do what you want." He said and headed to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." And he was gone. Gabrijela sighed, sitting on the couch. "Fuck." Cillian was waiting by the door for ten minutes, he was about to call her when the door opened up and Logan stormed out. His shirt was rumpled. "Huh, hey," Cillian called, he wasn't surprised but also disappointed a little. "Hey, man. Sorry I didn't see you there." He turned to Cillian. "Hey before I go. I want to ask you something." "Uh, go ahead." Cillian nodded, he was holding the door open. "What's your deal with Gabrijela?" He asked, there was something dangerous in Logan's eyes. "Nothing. We're friends, I'm only making her feel comfortable and welcomed here." He replied kindly. He wasn't and would never stoop to a low level of possessiveness. "Huh. Right. Yeah." He shrugged, "Just back off from her, hey? She's young." Cillian raised a brow, "Excuse me? What are you implying?" "Nothing. Just some rumours." Logan said and got into his Uber before Cillian could heckle him more. "What on earth..." He shook his head and headed up to the apartment. He knocked on the door. Gabrijela opened the door, "Come in." Cillian came in, noting the sleepy eyes and her messy hair. As well as the marks on her neck. "Did you want a drink?" She asked as she headed into the kitchen to pour herself cordial. "No, thank you." His eyes skipped over the messy bed and sat on the stool. She felt like she was making everything so uncomfortable. And his eyes were trained on her like a hawk on a prey. "Cillian, I need to tell you something." She said softly as she sipped her drink. "I saw Logan on the way in," Cillian said and their eyes met. "He said something." She continued, "About... What happened. In the trailer." Cillian stilled, but his expression didn't waver. "What about it?" "Someone heard... us. He said rumours are moving around." She twisted the cup around in her hands. "Who? Did he...?" Cillian leaned forward a little. "I don't know. He didn't say who." She looked up at Cillian. He sighed and held out his hand and she placed hers in it, "He doesn't have to worry. It won't happen again." "I'll make sure to tell him to rid these rumours. God... He ruined my mood now. Especially what we did-" She paused, pulling her hand back. "Anyway. I better get ready," She said and went to the bathroom. Cillian sighed but shook his head. He would cheer her up, today was going to be fun. Gabrijela was dressed in a mini skirt with a black and white checkered pattern with frayed ends. She had a short-sleeved red top and her favourite thigh-high suede boots. She kept her hair out but had a hairband on her just in case. Gabrijela had a good taste in fashion and she always looked so fucking good. Cillian was always mesmerised by how she looked. Everything looked so right on her. He gave her a smile and together they headed out. He let her take over the radio and she put on something they would enjoy. And the car ride ended up as a karaoke session. He was shocked as to how good she sang but it didn't stop him from singing. Gabrijela was back into her bright mood all the way to Bath. Once they arrived in Bath he found a good spot to park and got out with her. "Welcome to Bath. It's a lovely town." He said. She was in awe, "It's beautiful." She said as they walked through the streets. It was busy today, there was a lot of tour groups around and general tourists. "I uh also managed to get us tickets for the Roman Baths. Let's go do that first, we have all morning and afternoon to explore." He said. They headed further into the Roman Baths, skipped the line and was able to go right on in. Cillian took photos of her, and she posed in each shot. She had explained she wanted her Instagram to look nice despite him rolling his eyes. Long as she was happy, he was. And he didn't mind taking photos of her, a good excuse to admire her. She convinced him to take some pictures together and he obliged. Another good reason to have his arms around her. After the Baths they wandered around, she took pictures, went into shops and bought some souvenirs. There were times where they had to stop when fans recognised Cillian, and Gabrijela watched with a cute smile as he chatted with them and signed things. Then it was time to move on, they went further into the town where there weren't many people and she found good spots to take photos. "Why don't you be a model?" Cillian randomly asked as he stood close to her side as they looked through the photos. "Oh, no. I'd have to starve myself and work on a twenty-four-seven shift. No thanks. I like my sleep and how I look." She laughed softly. "Yeah, true. And you look just fine. Natural." He placed an arm around her and quickly moved back with her as a bike flew by them. She gasped, "You love to compliment people hm?" She looked up at him, grinning. "Especially if they catch my interest." He admitted and her cheeks went a shade of pink. "I catch your interest?" She asked, staying close and pressed to his side. He nodded once, "Yeah. You're uh... Almost like a female version of me." She let out a bark of laughter and he did as well, "Well, damn. Thanks. I'm hot and got good taste in music." She nudged him. "Exactly why you are a female version of me." He squeezed her side and she let out a sound. "Come on, I'm getting hungry. You gotta feed me." She huffed and they headed back to the main square. By late afternoon, there was still a heap of people around, not if more than earlier. Most of the restaurants were booked out so they grabbed some burgers and chips from some restaurant and took their goodies to the park near the bridge. They claimed a chair beside the river and ate their packed burgers. "In uh, darling Harbour, I was with my mum and we were eating Maccas. And um, a seagull had flown past my mum's shoulder and slammed into her burger, knocking it out of her hand as it was swarmed by a million of em." Gab giggled. "Really? They're vicious. I've always wanted to come to Sydney, but I never get to." He said. "Well, how about after you film? You could come for a week or two and I could... show you around. Take you on a tour. I've got my license." She offered. "You'd do that?" He looked at her with a mouthful of food. She laughed and quickly took her phone out, snapping a picture. "Hah! Got it!" "No! Delete that! Hey!" He tried to grab her phone but she hid it from him. "I won't post it nowhere! Oh my god so cute." She poked his cheeks and he shook his head. "Terrible." He said as he finished his food. "Indeed. But back to your question, yes I would do that. You have been making my week here wonderful, it's only fair to return the favour." She wiped her hands on a tissue and faced him. She had crossed her legs, brushing a little against him. "Well, when we finish filming I might take a little trip to Sydney." He mused, resting his arm behind her. "Good! Come as soon as you can, it'll be summer and we could go to the beach." She said, "I know the best place." "Bondi?" He asked. "Ew no. It gets too packed and there isn't much shade there unless you go all the way to the grass area." She shakes her head. "Alright, I trust you in where we go." He said. "Just like I trust you in the places you take me." She patted his chest before they stared out at the water. After a bit, Cillian offered to go on a walk with her and they did. The park began to have less and fewer people. They found another bench and claimed, watching the ducks swim and chase each other. "I want to say something," Cillian said finally after some silence. "Go ahead." She turned to him, now giving her attention to him. He looked troubled, his arm was behind her again on the bench. "You can say it, Cillian. I trust you." She placed a hand on his knee. He sighed and looked at her, "I shouldn't do this but... I like you, Gabrijela. You are a sweet, smart and beautiful girl. I don't want anyone to use you in ways that you don't deserve to." It was her turn to sigh and she looked away, "What is this about?" "Nothing. I just... Wanted to tell you that." He went to touch her chin to turn her back but she grabbed his wrist and looked at him with hard eyes. "I don't need someone to tell me what to do." She said, her tone harsh. "I'm not. I just want-" "What? Are you worried about Logan and me? Because we fucked?" She hissed softly. "No! No, Gabrijela-" he sat back, running a hand through his hair. "God. I care about you that's all. I just want the best for you." She scoffed and stood up walking close to the bank of the water, arms crossed. "I wonder if my parents called you so you can check in on me." The words came out before she could bite them back. "Gabrijela." He stood and went to her side, "Why would you say that?" She could see the hurt in his eyes. Guilt washed through him and she shut her eyes briefly, "I'm sorry Cillian. I didn't mean to say that. God I- Everyone at home says the same thing. And it just bugs me." His expression softened and he took her arm gently, "Don't get mad hey?" His thumb rubbed her skin gently, up and down. She held his gaze, it was so full of tenderness and worry. "I won't. I promise." She whispered. They stayed close like that, and she felt this pull to him. She looked at his lips, those lovely lips that were on hers a week back almost, moaning her name. "Cilly." She swallowed, stepping closer to his body. Her hands now laid flat on his chest. His arms automatically moved around her waist. The willow tree they stood under hid them from anyone who walked by, but there was barely anyone here anyway. "We shouldn't." He whispered, circling his nose against hers. "No. We shouldn't." But neither pulled away. "But no one is here." She replied, her lips brushing along his. He kissed her hard, there was no space between their bodies as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Kissing Cillian was like taking a breath of fresh air, like taking a leap off a cliff. His hands moved down her back and cupped her ass, lifting her up a little. A soft moan escaped her before he walked backwards and sat back down on the bench. She moved to straddle his hips, their lips never breaking. She let her fingers brush along his jaw and down his neck. She gripped the dark blue shirt he wore, wanting so badly to undo the buttons. His hands slid down her thighs, then back up and snaked under her skirt. She felt a cool breeze tickle the exposed skin of her ass and moaned, "Cillian, wait-" She gripped his wrists, kissing him. "Not here. We can't- Ah." She moaned when his hands removed from her thighs and to her breasts. "Gabrijela." His lips moved down to her throat, and he began to lift up her shirt. Then she heard people talking, and it sounded like they were heading this way. She pulled back and sat beside him, hastily tucking in her shirt into her skirt just as a group of young teens walked by. She panted as she rubbed her thighs together. As the teens wandered away she relaxed, her legs parting a little. "Cillian- Cillian we cannot." She bit her bottom lip gazing up at him. She wanted him so badly, Logan was... Logan was a mistake, she thought. She had only thought of Cillian the whole time, hoping and wishing it was him on top of her. But Cillian was someone she was to work with. And she had to take this internship seriously, she could be easily kicked out if anyone caught them. "Fuck." He said in a reply, he breathed fast through his nose. "I- We promised we wouldn't do this." He looked back at her again, cupping her face with one hand. "I know. But I can't help it." She placed a hand over him as she leaned in to kiss him again. The kiss was soft, he pulled back to speak, "Same here." He kissed her again and again and again. "No." She said heartbreakingly, "Cillian we need to stop." She pushed him back. "Mm," He nodded, sitting back and facing the river. "We should head home. Busy day tomorrow." He said and they stood and walked quietly back to the car. The trip home was quiet despite the music playing softly. Cillian parked down the road as there was no room when they had returned to London. He walked with her back to the apartment building and they stood face to face at the foot of the stairs. "I had fun today." She smiled, "Thank you. I want to do that again when we have time." He nodded, "Next weekend, hopefully." He said, but he wasn't sure if he could handle being with her all day again. All he could think of was kissing her and touching her. With her free hand, she took his. She looked up, meeting that hungry gaze that matched hers. Despite saying what she said earlier, she said, "You can stay the night." Cillian took a moment and squeezed her hand, "No." He stepped in close and patted her cheek gently, "We need our rest. Have a good night, Gabrijela." He pulled away from her and headed down the street. She watched the car pull away and reached up to touch her lips. She had to be careful and tread lightly. She worked hard to get to where she is right now, and she couldn't let her heart get in the way.

#cillian murphy #thomas shelby #peaky blinders #fanfiction

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foxtophat · 5 years ago

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in today’s update, nick and kim discuss why they shouldn’t kill the guy who probably deserves a righteous death-by-asskicking. nick is sort of an over-thinker, which usually puts him in tailspins, but thankfully kim and him have worked out a balance that keeps both of them afloat.

anyway, uh, there’s another chapter that could technically be added to this one but damn it i want to keep an update schedule for at least a few weeks lol. i’m still trying to figure out kim’s voice, a lot of the time i write her and end up pulling a softer fo5 marcy, which is... not accurate at all. so i’m working on her! also, i can’t write children too well so carmina tends to be like “fuck this i’m goin hunting” so oooo that should work out for me.

i hope you enjoy, please consider reblogging if you do! the full text of the chapter is below the cut, in case you don’t wanna go off-site. (yo, if you see a mistake please let me know, i’m pushing this update out before a bunch of errands so i might’ve messed up the formatting or a word or something)

Nick dreads every step he takes back down to the kitchen, but they only have a little while before Grace brings Carmina back. They need to make a plan before then — even if they're not going to kill John Seed, they're going to have to do something with him.

Kim is in the kitchen, taking her anger out on the vegetables she's picked. Nick can imagine his neck snapping as easily as the wimpy little carrots do, swallowing as he steels himself for the hard choices about to come. He'd sworn up and down that he was going to live a simple life from here on out, and yet here he is, bringing trouble in with him like a stray goddamn cat. Not even considering the safety of his family, or the feelings of his wife — or his friends , because what is Grace gonna say about all this? They have to tell her, right? And what about Jerome? Not to mention the other survivors. God — the list of people he's betraying grows by the second!

"Carmina will be back soon," Kim says, breaking another carrot into quarters. "We need to deal with John before then."

Despite her hostile tone, Nick doesn't think she means kill the guy. He hopes she doesn't. Nick will do it , of course — he can't expect Kim to clean up his mess — but he can barely stomach the guilt thinking about it. God, what if she tells him to do it? The man wouldn't even be able to fight back. Nick's never had to kill someone who couldn't fight back .

"Hey," Kim calls out, soft but firm enough to shake him out of his thoughts. "It's going to be okay."

"Yeah, I know," Nick replies, the words spilling out. "Just — I really messed up, Kim, what the hell was I thinking? I saw him lying there, I had my gun in his face and I decided to put us all in danger, because why ? Because I felt sorry for him? I should've done something differently. I should've..."

Kim has this way of smiling that never fails to pull Nick out of even the worst thought spiral. She uses it on him now, tiny crows-feet crinkling beside her eyes as she comes around from the kitchen. "There are a lot of things we could have done differently," she says gently. "We spent six years in a bunker learning that lesson. Six years un learning all of the bullshit the cult forced on us." She reaches him, taking one of his hands up in both of hers. If there's an easy solution she can see that Nick can't, she doesn't tell him; she only sighs and admits, "I don't blame you. I don't know if I could have done it, either."

"Well, at least I know I'm not the only one who's gone soft." Nick looks back towards the stairs, as if John might somehow crawl out of the spare room and demand they hand over the house. "The question is, what do we do now that we got him here?"

"Well..." Kim's shoulders slump with a resigned sigh, as she also turns to look up the stairs. "I mean, there aren't a lot of options that don't end with us shooting him. It's not like there's a court to try him in, or anyone left to hold him accountable."

Nick shrugs. "Maybe that was the plan? Maybe he thought he could outlive the consequences of his bullshit."

"I'm definitely in favor of shooting him if that's the case. I'm surprised he outfoxed the deputy, much less that he survived for this long."

"I don't think I'd call whatever he's been doing surviving ." Nick gestures up the stairs. "You saw the guy. All I know is that I found him next to an open bunker that smelled like a mass grave. I mean, Dep... Dep said they put him down. They wouldn't have left him alive somewhere. Right?"

"They never were big on murder," Kim points out. "Or revenge."

"God, if they fuckin' stashed him away after everything he did..." Nick exhales heavily; he's getting too worked up about a hypothetical situation. "I guess it doesn't matter. They couldn't've known what was gonna happen." No matter how often Joseph or his fucked up family would tell them otherwise, the Deputy had never been big on religious zealotry, and the concept of the end of the world had seemed impossible to them at the time. They hadn't been a fan of killing the Seeds outright, not if they could be brought to justice, but they had never been given the chance. Well, that's what Nick thought, anyway. Now, he's not so sure that Rook didn't play some key decisions too close to their chest.

"Okay, okay," Kim cuts through his thoughts, "Let's just focus on the information we have for now."

"Easy for you to say," he sighs. But, she's right, of course she is, so Nick sighs again and shakes his head to clear away the random what-ifs he's been conjuring up. "Okay, so — the facts. Right."

"You said you found him in a bunker?" Kim prompts.

"Near a bunker. He'd made a... I mean, it wasn't a camp . But he was living topside for at least a couple days. My bet is he crawled in there after the plane went down."

"He must have run out of food at some point and had to come up," Kim suggests.

"Yeah, for all the good that did him. Though I guess it might be better starving to death topside instead of pre-buried."

"Maybe if we're lucky, he'll starve before we get around to feeding him," Kim sighs, although she sounds too resigned to be hopeful of an easy outcome. "Although it'd be hard to explain to Carmina and Grace why we're burning a corpse..."

"Oh, man," Nick groans. "What do we tell Grace? And what are we gonna do about Carmina? She can't go anywhere near that psychopath. Even if he's too weak to hurt her, I don't want him giving her... weird ideas or something."

Kim hesitates. "Grace won't be forgiving. If we tell her, she won't consider another option."

Nick hates the idea, but not enough to keep from considering it. Grace wouldn't hesitate; she would do what needs doing and she would only wonder why it took her coming along for it to happen. And if they don't tell her, they won't just be keeping John a prisoner — they'll be harboring him from the justice he deserves. They'll have to keep him hidden from everybody, even strangers. The alternative would be to put the burden on somebody who doesn't deserve it.

"I don't think I've got the guts," Nick admits shamefully. "I feel sick just thinking about it."

He hopes that Kim has a stronger stomach than him, but she only sighs and nods. "I'm not sure it's the right choice. I'm not even sure there is a right choice. But — for the sake of fairness, he should at least be able to defend himself."

"We've gone soft," Nick chuckles. "Back in the day, we'd have busted his teeth in just for surviving."

Kim gives him this look, like maybe she's always seen him as soft, but he doesn't mind it coming from her. "So," she asks, "What do we do with him once he's well enough to be a problem?"

"Hopefully, he does something to inspire some righteous, old-world justice before then."

"Considering his track record, I won't rule that out. But... Ugh. I don't even want to say it." Kim rubs her face with both hands, pacing in a small circle. "Eight years is a long time to plan in. He could have any number of... of plots, or hidden caches, who knows what? If we don't kill him, there's a real chance that he might use our kindness against us." Kim's frown is heavy enough to pull her whole face into it as she turns back to Nick. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"We'll keep him in the nursery. He'll be under lock and key, 24-7, until we can figure out what his deal is. If he turns out to be plotting some kind of second cult uprising or, I dunno... resurrecting Joseph from the grave, we'll put him out of everyone's misery. Which, let's face it, is the most likely outcome."

"And if he doesn't? How long can we keep him prisoner up there? I mean, Nick... our food supply isn't exactly stable, and he's another mouth to feed on wimpy carrots and mushy turnips. Summer's almost over, and last winter was hard enough without four of us."

Nick chews his lip. Looks back towards the stairs, wondering whether John can hear what they're saying, if he's cognizant enough to understand the position they're putting themselves in on his dumb behalf. "And then there's all the stuff we gotta get done before then," he sighs, thinking of the myriad chores and home improvement projects he's put off in order to focus on basic survival. "Hell, I don't know, Kim. Maybe we can put him to work when he's able to stand upright. Give him all the jobs Carmina's too young to do yet."

"We do need somebody to dig this house out of the dirt," Kim suggests. She's mostly joking, even though it's extremely true — they haven't had time, energy or interest enough to do more than a cursory sweep to clear the stairs. "And you've been talking about fixing up the hangar again..."

"All manual labor that I can oversee with a rifle," Nick says. "John owes us — seems only right that we take what we need."

"Assuming he'll cooperate."

"He's not going to have much of a choice."

Kim frowns. "If he doesn't, are you sure you can handle making him?"

Nick should probably be offended, but she's right to ask. Truthfully, Nick's not sure he can be intimidating enough to sway John into listening to him. The guy is a fucking maniac, after all — other than pain and revenge, there's not much that gets him up and moving. Nick doesn't have an ace up his sleeve that can outdo the Cult. That doesn't mean he's not gonna try — it just means he's going to have to try harder than John deserves.

"I'm gonna have to be. Look, after Carmina gets back, I'll take up some food and see if he's willing to talk. We'll just... go from there."

"You've always been good at improvising," Kim hums. She's got a smile on her face that Nick's never seen before, something sad lingering in her eyes as she gives him a curious look over. "I love you, you know," she tells him, as if she hasn't said it a dozen times this week alone.

"I love you too," he replies. "And I'm sorry I brought this on us. I'll make it right."

" He'll make it right," Kim says. "Or we'll shoot him."

Nick laughs. "Yeah, or we'll shoot him," he repeats, pulling Kim in for a long, tight hug. Nick's not sure if it's old age or being a father that's softened him so much, but he's sure it hasn't softened him enough to keep him from doing whatever might need to be done. All he can do is hope that John won't put that to the test.

#far cry 5 #fc5 #fcnd #far cry new dawn #john seed #nick rye #kim rye #far cry fanfic #my fic

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angelbitezzz · 5 years ago

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Is there anyone in the Bridgeport, Connecticut area who has an open home for pets?

Recently due to many extenuating circumstances, my family haven't been able to stay at our apartment. We come back every day to feed the cats, but it's always once in the middle of the day, and we have two very hungry cats who cannot reasonably sustain themselves on that. The apartment has no power, so it being mid Winter it gets very cold at night. We've gotta keep them locked in the bathroom or they'll spray on everything. So you can see that the cats are incredibly unhappy :(

I love them both very much, but i can't stand to see them suffer like this. I dont even know my family's plan for them. My mom is the absolute law of the family and I haven't even talked to her about this. She says we have to put them both in shelters but I'd like to ensure them homes.

I'm trying to keep the older cat, Doctor, because he's a tough boy and we can probably support having one cat. The other cat is Lucifur, and he's constantly scared of everything. This is a picture of him ↓

It was taken recently, about a month ago now. He's almost two years old now, i think his birthday is in March. He's very fluffy and although he's scared of everyone, he cannot stop leaning in for pets and stuff. He's good with children too! Please reblog this to find him a forever home. If my mom says yes, you'll probably get to keep him!! DM me if you're interested.

#please rb #please reblog #cat #cats #idk what to tag this as #urgent

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monstrously-yours · 5 years ago

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You were in the notes on that post about makeup/doctored selfie culture ruining childhoods and said it's great to keep makeup "for later"... just gotta ask, with the industry being how it is, why keep it at all? Diy facepainting, where looking young, pretty white and rich isn't the goal, sure. Where it's not feeding the beast sized industry selling shit like "your lashes are sparse and that's bad" behind a veneer of positivity ("for just $8 get full lashes!")

Thank you for asking this question. For adding more nuance to a topic that I feel passionately about, and for making me feel heard. I am thankful for your curiosity about this subject.

Why “save for later”? I think makeup should only be used when you’re mature. This is for two main reasons. I have an actual reason past the first two paragraphs if you’d like to skip that and get to the meat and bones of why I wrote what I wrote.

The first is that kids can’t differentiate good and bad attention. When they garner praise, attention, and differential treatment, they can’t evaluate if the attention is given lovingly and genuinely, or if it’s predatory. The knee-jerk reaction that most of us have toward child-pageantry is for this reason exactly. To doll kids up in mid-riff baring shirts, mini-skirts, tight clothing, and heavy make-up is disgusting to a majority of us because these items are heavily associated with grown women. While heavily feminine, this femininity serves to be sexually attractive, and I think it’s the core of why child pageantry is criminal. While some may argue that children should have the freedom to choose what they do with their physical appearance and hobbies, I think it’s important for parents to discourage it early on. It’s important to let kids express themselves, but they should do so healthily. The same reason that we aren’t allowed to get tattoos because we’d have a nice Barney tattoo on our left temple or Big Bird on our right calf, we should discourage kids from changing how they look so that society will accept them with heavy make-up. This last point may seem ridiculous, but please read on to my next point, the second reason why I think makeup should be saved for “later”

I think early use of makeup shapes worldviews. At such an impressionable age, kids will quickly learn to associate their physical appearance with incentive. When kids learn that you can enhance your features to fit a certain “way” they should look, they’re going to make a very strong association between the two and shape their behavior and worldviews around that. Granted, it’s not in stone, but let’s be real. There is a socially acceptable way to look which changes every decade, but nevertheless is formulaic in some ways. I can include pictures in the reblog about 2015-2020’s physical trends to explore this more.

Though makeup application can take incredible skill to achieve, it’s instantly gratifying and changes how others perceive them. While cultivating interests, talents, hobbies, or educational pursuits takes time, effort, dedication, perseverance, experience of failure, and so on, makeup can be “empowering” in that you can change your physical appearance and directly benefit from a few hour’s application. I strongly believe that some women have (non-gender related) dysphoria and apply make up because they have issues with how they present. Eyebags, acne, discoloration, unruly facial hair—that’s all natural. What the beauty industry perseveres to do is to erase that and place the onus on women to “compete” to be perfect or perish, unseen. What’s worse, women are already self-conscious about how they look, and makeup is an accessible tool for girls to succumb to the societal pressures for physical perfection. If kids learn from a young age that they will receive preferential treatment, affection, attention with how they look, they are more likely to derive their self-worth from that, when they are capable of so much more.

Here’s the actual reason I said it should be “saved for later”, though. I don’t actually think it should be saved for later. I actually just straight up do not believe in the makeup industry. I mean, I know it exists, but I don’t think it should. So to the OP anon, you and I are in complete agreement. I don’t care for libfems to come to me saying “Oh, so you think makeup is just a tool to look sexually attractive? So it’s not a skill? So you don’t think SOME women do it for fun, and for themselves?” and to be honest, it’s also a monolith of an industry. I don’t think there will be enough women who want to give up control over their appearance, and I don’t think men, who tend to be visually driven, will understand the power of sexual appeal that makeup gives. [See, and if further requested, screenshots of “catfish makeup” videos on YouTube. It’s a funny title, but at the end of the day, all I see are women who change their appearance so drastically from what they originally look like, that the “catfish” implies their chances with men/women are far better off with makeup than without. No, I don’t have a stick up my asshole. These videos are entertaining and I think these women are sweet, funny, and sometimes intelligent. I do think that my point IS being made when you think youre a 3, but with lashes, blush, tone corrector, foundation, contour, lip color, brow fill, cheek filler, brow filler, eyeshadow, eye liner, and so on and so forth, you’re a 10. Instead of a gross, stinky zombie, you’re suddenly a normal, nice, appealing human being. And that’s not a healthy viewpoint to have about your body, but that’s just my opinion. In an instagram-saturated world, we are already so incentivized by quantifiable markers of popularity: likes, retweets, reblogs. It’s obvious the currency for social capital strongly lies in physical appearance (for everyone, not just women).]

There’s been a tumblr post going around that says “I don’t think we should be able to look at ourselves, except in our reflections in bodies of water” and I fully ascribe to that. I don’t think makeup should be saved for later. I do wish people were fine just walking around looking like ourselves, liking each other for who we are. But we are visual, biological organisms. And maybe makeup levels the playing field. After all, not all men are born like the young Tom Cruise (and many of those who are don’t seem to develop a personality or sense of humor to compensate), and not all women are born to look like Kylie Jenner or Gigi Hadid (those who are earnest to point out Eurocentric-based beauty, see what filters do to you, and why most girls use snapchat filters. Slimmer nose bridge, smaller nose bulb, paler complexion, thinner faces, larger eyes, and rosier cheeks. Don’t blame me, blame society.). In the end, though, the rich will buy all the serums, injections, creams, pigments, and facial reconstructions they want, and I stay checking ponds to see if I still look hideous without help. I think you are, too, anon. I think you are too. And maybe we’re better off.

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summerseachild · 6 years ago

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Summersea’s GoT Season 6 Tumblr Spoiled First Time Watch 2019: Part 1

So I was going to rename this a “hatewatch” now that I’ve gotten to a whole season I hadn’t seen before, but let’s be honest. If you’ve seen me reblogging things from later seasons, it was never going to be that. There are things that I knew I was going to enjoy VERY MUCH, and I wasn’t wrong. There were also things that, if I let them, would have had me frothing a the mouth in rage.

But then I reminded myself that I’m vacationing in Castle Not Giving a Shit while I watch the back half of the show, and things were much better after that. I’ve mostly left my in the moment reaction except where I’d had too much wine to be coherent.

Season 6

Hot on the heels of season 5 i still have a third of a bottle of Chardonnay left let’s DO THIS

6x01

1. Lol it’s still in the credits so they continue to pretend like they care about Dorne????

2. Ghost howling 😢😢😢

3. So Davos went straight from staning one dour person to another... he has a type.

4. Some dude in the night’s watch re Melisandre: who’s she? Davos: oh just some lady Who spat a shadow out of her vag once LETS TRUST HER

5. Wow Olly aged a lot over the past five minutes since he killed Jon!

6. Edd please don’t die here. I don’t remember how you go but don’t let it be here

7. Boo hoo poor little psychopath lost his gf. No one cares, Ramsay. Myranda deserved what she got AND SO WILL YOU

8. My soul left my body like three times during that chase scene where Theon and Sansa are running from the Bolton men. POOR COLD BBS

9. That hug where they’re just CLINGING TO EACH OTHER THIS SHOULD NOT MAKE ME SHIP IT BUT HERE WE ARE

10. THEON SHOWING HIMSELF TO TRY TO KEEP HER SAFE I CANNOT HE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS IF THEY CATCH HIM AND HE DOES IT ANYWAY SO SHE MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE

11. IT’S BRIENNE OF MF-ING TARTH OMG YAY

12. Also go Theon killing that dude

13. UGH THE SWEARING FEALTY SCENE WITH SANSA AND BRIENNE AND ALL OF THEIR FACES AND SANSA LOOKING TO THEON BEFORE ACCEPTING AND POD REMINDING HER OF THE WORDS IT IS PERFECT

14. Give me the AU where Theon lives and stays at Winterfell because he wants to be near her and they understand each other and Brienne is in her Queensgiard I AM NOT ASKING MUCH

15. Meanwhile in other trauma hi Cersei

16. UGH LOOK HOW SHE RUNS ACROSS THE COURTYARD TO SEE HER DAUGHTER

17. So... that scene with Jaime and Cersei where they talked about seeing Joanna’s dead body and she... Doesn’t blame him??? For Myrcella? Like I thought she would??? And she tells him about the prophecy??? And they hug??? Yeah that’s in contention for my fav Lannister twin scene ever? Top five at the very least. (And another member of the “Jaime writes his siblings’ dialogue” club.)

18. For all of his false kindness and gentleness the High Sparrow is just as bad as any of them, and When I’m not seething with anger I can appreciate how nuanced Jonathan Pryce’s performance is.

19. Wtf Ellaria and Tyene murdering Doran.

20. OMG TRYSTANE and I call Sand Snake Character Assassination here they are just SO BITCHY and without honor and the Dorneish are SO HONOR OBSESSED ugh why I hate it Also was that Myrcellas ship? Are there two bitchy Sand snakes just chilling in king’s landing now??

21. Tyrion and Varys among the people is kind of fascinating. Also what’s up with that Red Priest? Another who thinks the lord of light chose Dany?

22. Oh no the ships... Varys and Tyrion running TOWARD trouble says a lot about them.

23. Did the showrunners... forget Jorah would know the word Khalasar? Why would he say horde?

24. At least the Khals believe Dany is Drogo’s widow?

25. Ok so the waif is fascinating and her movements are just so... Succinct. A++ physical acting or whatever the word is.

26. Whoa that’s Melisandre without the necklace?? Cool story bro but why did she choose then to take it off? What does that tell us about her as a character or her powers? Just wanted to show some crone boobs? IDEK that was a weird ending.

6x02

1. The trailer reminds us that BRAN IS IN THIS SHOW

2. Remember this kid? He’s a Stark! He’s VERY IMPORTANT! He’s GONNA BE KING, but he wasn’t in all of season 5. He matters WE PROMISE.

3. The older generation of Starklings!!! I would be lying if I didn’t say seeing Lyanna and Brandon and Ned and Benejen And Nan and bb Hodor didn’t give me a LOT of feelings. (Also Bloodraven is the Worst Ghost of Christmas Past Ever.)

4. Cross fandom wish: I want to see Hodor, Groot, and Rocket have a conversation where everyone understands every word.

5. So... Meera and Summer have been hunting so that they all stay alive, right?? Otherwise WHAT ARE THEY EATING

6. Ok I take back what I said about them only having the Children once, but that was WEAK. “Help Bran, Meera. Because I said so and I’m a creepy magical person whose motivations are unclear”

7. YEAAAAAH WUN WUN SMASH THOSE TRAITORS. Good on you too Edd for taking charge.

8. Ugh every bar has one like that asshole talking about Cersei. And I don’t think he’s long for this world

9. I LOVE BEING RIGHT HI GREGOR

10. Why would Tommen keep Cersei away from Myrcella’s funeral. OH GODS HE WAS TRYING TO PROTECT HER.

11. Ugh Jaime is tired of keeping vigil over his dead family members GIVE HIM A BREAK

12. Also Jaime promising never to let Cersei be in a cell again while he’s there AAAAHHH YES 🦁 ❤️

13. There’s nothing more dangerous than a fanatic who fears nothing, Jaime. But him threatening the High Sparrow was made of sex.

14. SEVEN HELLS did Tommen just give Cersei the idea to blow up the sept

15. Dany’s council meeting in absentia is kind of neat. I was wondering how those crazy kids were doing.

16. Lol I drink and I know things is ABOUT TYRION KNOWING ABOUT DRAGONS 🐉 I DID NOT KNOW THAT AND I LOVE IT

17. Tyrion being like “please DO NOT EAT THE ALLIES (me)” to Viserion and Rhaegal is amazing

18. Viserion is all ME TOO LET ME GO HERE’S THE CHAIN SMALL HUMAN when he shows Tyrion his neck.

19. That was a rough test Jaqen

20. Yes Ramsay please march North I dare you

21. Roose KNOWS what Ramsay is and tries to steer him out of it but I don’t think he truly understands how deep the crazy goes

22. HOLY SHIT RAMSAY JUST STABBED HIS DAD and everyone either is too scared of Ramsay to do anything about it or was in on it. LOOKING AT YOU KARSTARK ASSHOLE

23. Oh Walda you sweet trusting soul he is going to feed you and your baby to those dogs isn’t he. I DON’T like being right. Have I mentioned that?

24. Brienne recognizing Sansa’s choices were hard ❤️❤️

25. Ugh Theon talking about all the things he’s done and Sansa hugging him anyway aaaaah my soul

26. It’s hard to hear someone else say they forgive you you when you don’t think you deserve forgiveness, and he’s definitely not ready to hear it from Jon. (But he’s ready to hear it from Sansa because of what they’ve been through together? I like that explanation and I’m sticking to it.)

27. Oh right Pyke exists the show doesn’t remember that unless it’s convenient.

28. HOW DARE YOU REFERENCE THAT PINECONES LINE SHOW YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THAT

29. Ok at least Yara cares about her people and we get to see it.

30. OMG Euron? He’s the one who kills Balon?

31. ...and he’s kind of got delusions of Grandeur? “I am the drowned god” wtf sir.

32. Gotta admit Iron Islands burial customs are kinda neat

33. We get the Kingsmoot? I’m listening, show... you’re on notice but I’m listening.

34. Depressed Melisandre is depressed. Wait... has she never done the raising from the dead thing? SEVEN HELLS SHE HASN’T.

35. A pep talk from Davos might snap me out of my crisis of faith too.

36. Thoros can do this in the language of Westeros, but I guess if Valyrian works for you...

37. I love Tormund peacing out of the room with Mostly Dead Jon like “I have had enough of this south of the wall bullshit”

38. Did Melisandre reach the lord of lights answering machine and it took him a while to get back? “If you would like to leave a resurrection request for R’hllor, please press one...”

39. Ghost’s eyes open AND SO DO JON’S hey bro

6x03 this episode is called Oathbreaker ARE WE ABOUT TO GET TO SEE THE FLASHBACK TO JAIME KILLING AERYS PLZ TELL ME

1. He liiiives! Poor Jon... what did you see while you were gone I wonder?

2. Oh jeez it was nothing. At least he has the most comforting sensible person in this series to help him through.

3. I like that Jon gets to come downstairs and HUG TWO OF HIS FRIENDS and none of the nights watch or the wildlings bat an eye or seem to think less of him for it. LET MEN HUG.

4. Oh jeez Sam’s taking Gilly and the baby to Horn Hill? Do we get to meet his mom? (No one cares about Randylll but I think we might get to meet him too?)

5. BB Sam is SO CUTE HE HAS HAIR NOW.

6. Wait is Gilly pregnant again?

7. That is the Tower of Joy and I AM NOT READY

8. HOLY SHIT HOWLAND REED KILLED ARTHUR DAYNE?

9. Sword of the morning indeed WHAT A BADASS (somewhere in my soul Jaime is waving an “Arthur Dayne Rocks” banner) there’s no way Ned could have won that fight without help and now Bran knows that??? I don’t really have anything interesting to say here I just love the idea of a kid getting to see the truth of a family story that’s radically different from what he thought he knew.

10. Past Ned HEARD BRAN? FASCINATING?

11. Oh right Dany is about to meet all of the other widows of the Khals this could be cool but knowing d and d it won’t be because it would involve treating WoC with nuance.

12. Not impressed so far.

13. So this girl Varys is meeting with is in league with the Sons of the Harpy? Good my memory is intact.

14. all this with Varys actually TRYING to take care of Meereen is fun...

15. Tyrion being like OMG I AM BORED PLZ TALK ABOUT SOMETHING to Grey Worm and Missandei is the most him thing ever. I feel you Bro. He’s a people person deep down and just wants to be friends so badly.

16. Qyburn with all of Varys’ little birds and making kids’ abusive parents disappear is PRECIOUS.

17. Don’t poke the Mountain, Jaime

18. LANNISTER MUSICAL CHAIRS PART 2 also Jaime is ON THE SMALL COUNCIL NOW??? Who gave book!Cersei three wishes??? Him actually being in her corner and working with her as a team must be like a wish come true...

19. “Grand Maester Pycelle would you sanction that starement?” 😂 Lena’s delivery of that line made me laugh so hard we had to rewind to hear the dialogue.

20. No no don’t leave the three of them together they’ll plan murder. Well, Cersei and Jaime will. Gregor will nod.

21. Tommen confronting the high sparrow fascinated me. He has some of the I WILL KILL YOU family traits on display here but it’s understandable given what his family has gone through at the high sparrows hand. I’d be threatening murder too if I were him.

22. What are you playing at mr high Sparrow? Because I don’t trust you farther than I can throw you, and I don’t even have a good arm.

23. The Hound was not on her list any more 😢 that whole scene with Arya recounting her life and learning to fight blind is NEAT.

24. Wait faceless men are immune to the poison in the water?? Cool.

25. Is that supposed to be Greatjon Umber’s son who refuses Jon? What an ass.

26. My wife adds, “THESE LOSERS are the people Sansa is supposed to be queen of?”

27. OH SHIT OSHA AND RICKON AND SHAGGYDOG HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN? (Please let Sansa Find out who did that and who helped and give them what they deserve... there’s no way anyone took down that wolf alone.) I HATE THAT WE ARE NEVER GOING TO GET CLOSURE ON THAT PROBABLY.

28. Oh shit Jon has to hang the traitors that’s gonna be hard on him.

29. At least Alliser is consistent.

30. Jon did what he had to do... just like Ned in the first ep.

31. Wait WHAT did you just hang those men and then LEAVE? Isn’t leaving just as damaging to the order as killing the lord commander? That seemed overly quick and weird but ok????

32. Guess Jon was the Oathbreaker.

6x04

1. If anyone deserved an I JUST DIED crisis, it’s Jon. Also, the vows say, “it will not end until my death...” so technically...

2. Brienne got them up to the Wall QUICK. She is nothing if not efficient.

3. Sansa and Jon are like, “so... how cool are we going to play this? NOT COOL AT ALL LETS HUG” so sweet.

4. “Where will WE go?” Yes stay together Starklings because family is important certainly don’t scatter to the four winds or anything 🙄

5. I kind of love that Sansa’s the one who insists on taking back Winterfell and is all “help me or not I’m doing it”

6. I’m Brienne of Tarth and I HAVE A LONG FUCKING MEMORY. Wait... wrong show. (She DOES, though...)

7. Wow Petyr lying about Sansa being forced to Marry Ramsay... he’s playing the lords of the Vale like a fiddle.

8. That’s a lovely bird he got Robin. What a pretty boy.

9. Missandei staring daggers at Tyrion is Excellent Content. The “Tyrion tries to be a little more diplomatic but this involves dealing with slavers” problem is... a bit oversimplified, but at least they’re addressing it? Still not great.

10. Jorah and Daario are off on a secret mission and I cant stop hearing the Galavant song.

11. The older widow of the Dosh Khaleen is more interesting than the show will let her be.

12. Is that Lazareen widow Dutch from Killjoys? IT IS!!!!

13. Guess what high Sparrow NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SELF RIGHTEOUS CONVERSION STORY LEAST OF ALL ME (guess who has some issues with organized religion it’s meeeee)

14. Way to act your heart out, though, Jonathan Pryce.

15. So idk if I’ve made a big deal about this but I’m SUPER QUEER and seeing Loras broken like that made my heart stop for a second.

16. “Not setting off” fanatics, huh Pycelle? I think Cersei has other ideas 😈 🔥

17. Tommen is TALLER THAN CERSEI NOW

18. Cersei and Jaime trying to get Olenna and Kevan on their side against the High Sparrow is... smarter than I thought it was going to be when they walked into that room. They had a united front, they were clearly working together... WHAT IS THIS I LIKE IT

19. Theon looks like a ghost of himself. :( And Pyke looks all creepy.

20. Jeez Yarra go easy on your little brother his psyche still has cracks in it. I guess it’s understandable that she’s pissed given the failed rescue and the timing of his arrival. I kept just waiting for him to say “I want to be home,” when she yelled WHAT DO YOU WANT but he didn’t and that makes me sad. (Home should have been Winterfell or wherever Sansa was just saying.)

21. Oh Osha don’t try it... shit. Well, you tried

22. And Tormund’s epic crush on Brienne begiiiiiins

23. SHIT RAMSAY TELLS JON HE HAS RICKON

24. Sansa insisting on reading the rest of the letter from Ramsay is... made of steel. I’m here for her being the driving force behind this attempted rescue.

25. I didn’t realize that so many Dothraki knew about how Dany lost the baby and Drogo.

26. DID DANY JUST KILL ALL OF THE KHALS? Girl knows how to make an entrance? The optics here are sooooo problematic but she looks DAMNED impressive the plan in and of itself is sound - gets rid of the men who don’t respect her and shows herself to be indestructible in one power move...

6x05 OH NO THIS IS CALLED THE DOOR I THINK I KNOW WHAT IS COMING

1. Is it just me or are d and d writing more and more episodes themselves?

2. Sansa has had enough of Littlefinger’s bullshit. Making him face up to what HE LEFT HER TO WHEN HE MARRIED HER TO RAMSAY AND ABANDONED HER YES GOOD.

3. When he says “did he cut you” and Sansa talking about Ramsay not caring as long as she could give him an heir... does that mean what I think it does? FGM? I hate that I even wonder. (Still not sure about this, but I don’t put it past them to imply something horrific like that and then not come back to it.)

4. The more I see the waif fight, the cooler she gets.

5. Faceless men founded Braavos? Right I KNEW that.

6. Ok the play is fun... complete with sound effects. So interesting to see what people in Braavos think of everything that happened.

7. So... I would Lady Crane’s voice anywhere. Hi Phryne!

8. Oh wow look at all the CotF

9. THEY MADE THE WHITE WALKERS I did not know that and for YEARS before this season came out we had an au idea where that was true and I AM SCREAMING

10. AND THEY DID IT TO DEFEND AGAINST THE ANDALS AND WHAT THEY WERE DOING TO THE TREES

11. Yara’s speech was lovely, Theon supporting her was sweet, but Yara shouldn’t have needed a dude’s support to get that reaction from the crowd. She’s been on Pyke and being badass ALL HER LIFE. That being said, I like to think Yara would have been Queen in this version of things if Euron hadn’t showed up. What a Dick.

12. How does Euron go from wanting to marry Dany to allying with Cersei? I guess I’m about to find out.

13. Damphair knows cpr, idiot showrunners. don’t just let Euron lie there.

14. YES GET AWAY YARA AND THEON AND... a lot of the fleet? Good on them.

15. Jorah trying to leave Dany and her not letting him and commanding him to find a cure aaaahhhhh my feelings 😢

16. In the real world Tyrion would have been a great campaign manager.

17. If they wanted someone local... why get a red priestess from Volantis? Is this supposed to be the same woman? Do any of the people of Meereen even follow the faith of R’Hollor?

18. Varys having no time for the red faith’s bullshit is SO GOOD. It’s ok Varys you’re probably the most famous eunuch in the world right now. And whoop de doo a sorceress knows a story about a sorcerer it’s a small magical world don’t let her cow you.

19. ...whatcha doing, Bran???

20. Well that’s not creepy at all. Soooo many wights. Were there only... four white walkers including the night king? I’m so confused.

21. “The Umbers gave Rickon to Ramsay they can hang” YES SANSA

22. Why did she lie about getting info from Petyr? (And GOOD ON BRIENNE calling her on it)

23. Brienne calling Jon “a bit brooding” is the most hilarious thing ever. Somewhere Jaime Lannister is laughing his ass off.

24. Yes wolfy clothes for everyone.

25. Awww Edd forgetting he’s acting lord commander is hilarious.

26. SO MANY WIGHTS DON’T DIE MIRA

27. Why are the children and the white walkers on opposite sides? Are these just about rogue CotF? EXPLAIN SHOW EXPLAIN

28. Cool visuals though... the night king walking through that fire was AWESOME.

29. Rickard LOOKS like a stark in that flashback.

30. RIP Bloodraven... glad you didn’t have to see how pointless all of this was.

31. Wait wait plain old wights can KILL THE CHILDREN? Dumb.

32. SUMMER NO I AM NOT OK WITH ANY OF THIS not Leaf either she’s a nice little tree person even if her motivations are unclear.

33. So Bran warging into Hodor in the present and in the past at the same time is what messed him up? Or something about the time folding and Bran BEING THERE?

34. That was upsetting as fuck about Hodor and I AM SAD EVEN THOUGH I KNEW IT WAS COMING

And... tumblr won’t let me post the whole thing. I had A LOT to say about some later episodes. Remember when I was going to keep this to three bullet points for each episode? Yeah me neither.

#summersea got rewatch 2019 #castle not giving a shit #summersea has feels about got #not actually a rewatch

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