#PAKs Control Brains and the Irken Database

[random-iz-stuff]

that irk history post was cool. any theorys on how they lost their wings and or how they developed paks?

Yes.

Irkens loosing their wings and the development of PAKs are deeply and directly connected.

PAKs were invented just a few decades after an event known as “the great unifying”, an event that involved the complete unification of all Irken countries and governments under one Almighty Tallest. Its considered to be one of Irk’s most important moments in history, and is considered by irken historians to be the beginning of the modern empire’s formation.

PAKs were originally built with the purposes of space travel and survival in harsh environments in mind. They were extremely complex devices that acted like spacesuits, EVA packs, communication systems, toolkits and life support devices compressed into one single thing on the irken’s back.

Because PAKs needed to go on the Irken’s back, astronauts had to get their wings surgically removed so the PAK would fit. The nerve endings where the wings used to be would be connected to the PAK, letting the wearer control the PAK with their mind. The removal of the Irken’s wings in this situation was considered to be a necessary evil. PAKs were made for space travel, so astronauts were some of the only people that would receive PAKs, and they can’t exactly use their wings up in space where there’s no air.

Then as time went on, PAKs became more widely used, but instead of one type of universal PAK like today, multiple types of PAK were made for different jobs. PAKs had weapons put into them and were given to high ranking soldiers, PAKs had engineering equipment put in and were given to architects and engineers that requested them, and so on.

As the Irken Empire slowly formed, PAKs became more mandatory. Soldiers of all types were required to have a PAK installed upon enlisting. More engineers and architects were given PAKs, even if they didn’t want them, and so on.

Eventually, PAKs containing medical equipment and medical trackers were required at birth. So Smeets started having their wings be cut off just minutes after being born/hatched/whatever you call it when you’re taken out of a cloning tube. (Gene editing and cloning was already the main way that Irkens would reproduce, it had been that way since long before The Great Unification and the Unity War that preceded it).

After that, since everyone had them now, trackers were added to PAKs. The government could track your location from anywhere and your PAK could hear you saying anything bad about the government and automatically report you, and since PAK’s were connected to irken bodies via the nerves that used to belong the the wings, it was extremely difficult to safely remove PAKs to prevent this.

Meanwhile, Irkens were slowly developing to have smaller and smaller wings since they were being cut off at birth.

Then came the invention of the first Control Brain (which were simply called Judges back then, as their purpose was to assist in the judicial process, a job that control brains are still used for today. They wouldn’t be named Control Brains until a while after Irk achieved first contact, which wouldn’t happen for a couple hundred years). And stuff immediately started going to shit.

Sentient AI like Judges brought up the question of artificially creating irken brains, which eventually led to the use of PAK’s as a second mechanical brain, which eventually led to the organic brain and the PAK becoming two halves of the same whole like how it is now.

PAKs becoming second brains directly led to the invention of methods of connecting the PAK to the brain without using the wing nerves, so irken wings were completely useless now. Couldn’t keep them because PAKs are mandatory, but we don’t need them for anything else now. So irkens started selectively editing the genes of smeets to speed up the process of the wings developing less, eventually completely removing them after several generations. This kind of thing is actually something they have experience with, as the entire Irken race accidentally selectively bred and edited their reproductive organs and desires out of themselves long before the Unity War with their overuse of cloning technology.

Meanwhile, PAKs are starting to become even more restrictive. They had already created the multi-purpose PAK, and they started to add in even more trackers, now even more invasive because the government literally had access to people’s brains because of the new “second brain” feature of PAKs. Screw trackers that report you to the government if you say something bad about the Empire, now you can’t even think anti-empire thoughts, as the PAK just straight up blocks them.

Then, without any warning (except for the many warnings of several dozen scientists across several generations, all of which the government ignored) irkens started getting dependent on PAKs. Even smeets. By the time irkens achieved first contact a century or so later, that 10 minutes to death thing had been established.

As PAKs became more advanced and more restrictive, the first defectives were discovered. Turns out, if an irken has something in its brain that makes a part of it incompatible with a PAK, like say for example; a mental disorder or trauma, it will overwhelm and break parts of the PAK. Can’t fix the defective by fixing the PAK because the problem is in the irken’s organic brain. This meant the beginning of anti-defective propaganda, along with Defective Trials (which would later be renamed Existence Evaluation Trials) where a Judge (Control Brain) looks through your PAK’s artificial second brain for evidence of you being defective. This is also what led to PAKs blocking trauma and restricting emotions.

By the time Irkens achieved first contact, their PAKs were already very close to what they look like in the modern day, just built with less advanced technology. They repressed the same things, they had very similar devices inside them, you died in 10 minutes if they were removed, all that.

[annonymouslyannoying]

Elite Commander Poki redesign and Invader Training Headcanons. (Futher info under cut)

Elite Commander Poki was Almighty Tallest Miyuki's second in command and most trusted advisor- As such she continues to wear the Irken Elite Miyuki Branding even after her death.

Her reassigning following the Initiation of Red and Purple involved the training of worthy soldiers to become Invaders for the upcoming Operation Impending Doom.

Much like Irken Slave Drivers and other Irkens in commanding positions, she wears a suit that makes her appear taller than she really is.

She's a no nonsense drill sergeant type- but below the surface she still hasn't gotten over Miyuki's death and often sees her failing students as a disgrace to her awesome legacy.

Contrary to what you might think, Irken defects are actually quite common.

The Control Brain's Irken Bioengineering Program contains an intentional margin of error- Allowing new or odd genetic properties to emerge and potentially be added into the base database for wide spread implementation.

The term "defect" however is reserved for specimens with genetic irregularities that are seen as problematic to the overall objective of the Empire.

But seeing as how defect Irkens are relatively common, it's no surprise that there were quite a few of them who were trained to be Invaders.

These 4 are proper defects in the sense that their irregularities are not seen as particularly useful.

Zim

•Intense and obessive thought patterns, for lack of a better word, Irken neurodivergency. Brilliant in some respects, but moronic in others.

•Capable of parental love from both ends of the spectrum. Looks up to his leaders much like one would a distant parent, and shows intense affection for his minions.

(This is very odd as most Irkens just see their helpers as tools and affection is looked down upon.)

•Selective hearing and auditory processing problems.

Skoodge

•Capable of romantic love and friendship. He is hated for this and seen as "soft"

•In love with ZIM specifically. He has such terrible taste that it counts as a separate defect.

•On the heavier side. He is seen as ugly for this but it actually makes him much more resilient to physical damage and can go without his Pak for much longer than 10 minutes.

(This is me attempting to justify that time they forgot to draw his Pak for a whole episode lmao)

Grinn

•Warped antennae. This distorts her senses and makes her very irritable to certain noises.

•A natural aversion to taking orders and a frequent questioner of the Empire's System.

•Covered in horrible red blemishes. She has an overactive immune system that manifests in extreme bodily reactions to minor stimuli.

(This is one of the worst defects to have when you drop out of the Invader Program and work in a literal garbage chute)

•Writes poetry

Skutch

•Actually evil. Like. Even by Irken standards.

•Will set things on fire for seemingly no reason.

•Rarely ever speaks and when he does it's incredibly vulgar. The only Irken that says Fuck.

•Has no soul, wants or desires. He only lives for the mild fascination elicited from watching the life drain from a living thing's eyes.

These 4 are seen to have more useful defects- Or in other words, they're "Gifted" Irkens. Okay not Gustavo but because he's tall he managed to not get lumped in with the last 4.

Grenty

•Intense regenerative properties. In fact, she struggles to control it properly and will just randomly grow new limbs.

Her regeneration is so good that she is essentially impervious to damage so long as her Pak remains intact.

•Irregular blood viscosity. Needs to be regulated with a patch.

•Overbite.

Mote

•Likes smooth Jazz

•Oversized antennae- He has insanely good sense of his surroundings and is tormented by having to accidentally hear everyone's horrible secrets he never wanted to know.

•Very frail

Fleep

•Abnormally physically powerful. She could break the arms of every other trainee here.

•Sort of capable of friendship but only the kind shared between High School Prom Queens and their evil lackeys.

•Otherwise very competent and professional.

Gustavo

•I hate Gustavo

•He's really friendly and normal by human standards but an UTTER FREAK by Irken standards.

•Joined the Invader program because he wants something to fall back on when he becomes a freelance advertising consultant.

•Gustavo must die.

•Is tall enough that the bias of the system has prevented him from being killed. (Unfortunately)

ALSO WORTH NOTING-

Zim is responsible for the deaths of most of the people here- The only ones to survive his Operation Impending Doom screw up were Skoodge, Skutch, and Grinn.

(Grinn never became a real Invader, Skoodge is basically immortal, and even Zim knows not to mess with Skutch.)

I imagine that most of the Invaders assigned to Operation Impending Doom 2 were from the generation after Zim and were still in training during the first operation.

Bonus content of Skutch setting fire to the wildlife

[emeraldspiral]

So in the script for the Trial they make it sound like PAKs are retrieved or are able to autonomously return to Irk after death so their data can be uploaded into the Control Brain database and then are reused, and I have some questions about that.

Like, what is death even for Irkens? We saw in the Virooz arc that Zim's PAK could attach itself to a chair when Virooz stole his body. At least part of him was able to live on in Zib when he attached Zim's PAK to himself, and it's implied in the 10 Minutes to Doom script that without taking some precautions first Zim would've taken over Dib completely and his body would've been destroyed. So, if the PAKs can survive without the body, can attach themselves to foreign objects and other living organisms and retain their memories and personality, and all Irken bodies are cloned anyway, can't they just keep plugging the same PAK into a new body every time one "dies" while the same brain lives forever? Like, you'd think that was the case if they reuse PAKs instead of just making new ones on an assembly line. But they kinda make it sound like that's not the case and they're actually setting them back to factory default before they plug them into a new Irken.

If it actually was the former case though, that brings up some interesting possibilities. Maybe the reason Irkens are so long-lived isn't due to them just naturally aging slower, but simply continuously uploading themselves into new bodies. Jhonen's always been very deliberate about not giving Zim a precise age other than "older than any living human" but fanon often low-balls it with the infamous claim that he is only 160. But what if Zim's actually like, several hundred or even thousands of years old? What if the majority of Irkens really aren't just naturally short and Zim really does have a child's body within the context of his society, even with thousands of years of life experience? The reason the shortest like him are looked down upon is because they keep getting themselves killed and had to be plugged into new bodies that have to grow up all over again while the Tallest are revered for staying alive in the same bodies long enough to hit puberty.

This might also explain Irkens' sense of superiority and cavalier attitude toward death and disregard for the well-being of others. For them, dying isn't permanent unless they get declared "Defective" and deleted. So they think they're better than other species because they've bested death, but also don't have any respect for how precious life is.

What if there was an episode with a reveal like the season 2 opening of the Venture Bros where we find out Zim's died zillions of times and that's why he stays so short. But like Hank and Dean, he's eventually able to keep himself alive long enough to not only start aging physically again, but start to mature as well. And maybe a later episode could deal with his safety net being gone. He's declared a defective, so if his body dies he can't return to Irk to be reincarnated. Then, eventually he does get himself killed again. Dib figures out he can use his father's 3D flesh printer to clone him a new body to bring him back, but he has to stop Zim's PAK from following protocol to return to Irk or he'll be erased and gone for good.

[melodyofthevoid]

Neural Networks: Hell for Everyone (except the network)

So.... got around to writing a thing for the little pet au @faithfulwhispers and I got cooking. Enjoy some 3rd person fuckery. Small tw for dehumanizing (depersonalizing?) language, as the Control Brains kinda don’t see Zib as a... thing. 

They, as a collective, rarely did not know exactly what to do and how to go about what they needed for the empire.

Thousands of years of rule would do that, the knowledge accrued by eons of Irkens helping to push their influence ever outwards, even as the figure heads occasionally acted in ways that ran counter to their wishes. It was alright, they knew what would come in time.

So, when the strange… creature spat and cursed in a language barely translated by their database, thrashing in its bounds, they for once did not understand what they beheld. It was not Irken, not entirely at least. Yet a PAK glowed a violent fuchsia on the back of its large head.

After some time, they had asked for its designation and title, only for it to say a name that did not exist in their registry. A name it’d given itself seemingly. A cursory examination of the PAK revealed it belonged to one Food Service Drone Zim, yet it went by “Dib Membrane” in spite of the PAK.

When an Irken died, or rather, their vessel died, it wasn’t uncommon for them to attach to an organic or inorganic creature for survival. Here though, the… human as it was called, remained cognizant, even dominant in the head space despite the slow metamorphosis of its body. It boasted of tampering with the device and overcoming the personality within. 

Alarm had flooded their system further when they plugged into the PAK to observe the memories within, finding a long trail of destruction and hatred for the empire, a being capable of, in more than one universe, destroying anything in its path. And the virus. The virus that could do what they had never quite succeeded at. Complete and utter devotion. Without question or flaw. 

They debated what best to do with the thing before them, how to rid themselves of this blight, when the thing mentioned a tallest. Their tallest, in reference to the being it normally called “father”. The slip was brief, but it intrigued them. Somewhere, beneath the human, the loyalty programming remained. Pieces of Irken interwoven into the being. Not quite enough to render them a viable soldier or drone under regular circumstances, but enough of one for other purposes.

It was then one of them remembered their plans for a fully subservient Irken, one whose PAK ran deeper than the rest. In more ways than one. Of course, the plan had never quite come to fruition because of the… obvious nature of the results. Not only would the subject be entirely loyal to the brains, and the brains alone, but the tendrils of the PAK needed to run along more of the body, which would raise questions among those who did not fully trust their rule.

A drone would interact with the public and be seen. This, this could merely be deemed an experiment. Excusable. A tool for the Empire should it succeed and another obstacle eliminated should it fail.

Good.

Plugging their tendrils back into their new project’s PAK, they hummed, and examined the physiology, what had and had not shifted, ignoring the panicked shouts and writhing of the human-Irken hybrid in their grasp. Those would quiet down soon enough. 

Then they did what they did best.

While in their years they had yet to encounter anything like this… “Dib”, they knew PAKs. And though it once belonged to the bane of the empire, one whose data threatened to corrupt them entirely, there was nothing more simple than reprogramming.

They knew what to do with that.

[rainbow-beanie]

Fanart for @dana-chan-the-control-brain ‘s fanfic tech support: chapter 4 weasel words

 The Computer was broken from his thoughts at the sound of high pitched shrieking. His cameras and processors devoted his attention to the distressed little irken in the experiment room. Who was being attacked by the very same weasels he was experimenting with. Apparently, Weasels did not take kindly to having sleep hypnosis parasites planted in their brains.

Zim ran and shrieked and flailed his arms as the little furry creatures crawled all over him, slathering him with bites, claw marks and laser eyes. A quick scan confirmed that these weasels did not have rabies, they were just angry. VERY angry. And aside from Zim’s panicking and mild bleeding from the bites he appeared unharmed. He was just freaking himself out, making the weasels angrier. He was going to seriously hurt himself if this kept up. Even if it was, admittedly, hilarious to watch.

The Computer wordlessly opened up the weasel containment unit without a verbal command.

“Master, contain the weasels in here.”

Zim then slammed the glass door to the containment unit shut. Panting heavily.

Zim peeled one of the weasels off his face, and threw it in the containment unit. He did the same for the one biting underneath his leggings and two others that were chomping down on his antenna and leg respectively.

“Wheeeeeeeeew… ha… that was a close onnnnAUGHHHH!!!”

Zim reached a new octave as he realized he didn’t notice the weasel clinging to his PAK, that had begun clawing the shell, causing a port to open up and began nibbling on wires to it’s heart’s content.

“AHH! NO NONONONONONONONONO!!! GET OUT OF THEREEEE!”

Zim tried to reach behind his back but instead he squeaked and convulsed as his eyes rolled back and his antenna twitched. He spun around in a circle and fell to the floor, before leaning back upright with his bodyweight only. Jerking and moving in an unnatural way. As if he didn’t have control of his own limbs. His arms and legs behaved like noodles as if the weasel was hosting the world’s worst grotesque puppet show. Zim’s tongue rolled out his mouth as his PAK began flashing red as a warning.

Now this was something the Computer WOULD intervene with. A robotic arm descended from the ceiling and snatched the weasel off Zim’s back, and threw it in the containment unit unceremoniously, crashing it into all it’s other bite-happy brethren before sealing them up again.

Zim fell to the ground, moaning and twitching.

Was he alright?

The Computer ran a scan of Zim’s current state. Specifically his PAK. He cross-compared reference to the scan he took on the first day Zim arrived to Earth. He didn’t have time to go over Zim’s PAK data in depth yet. Between GIR’s food experiments and Zim’s animal experiments, he had a feeling he'd be in pretty high demand over the weekends.

“Master,” The Computer began, speaking in an authoritative neutral voice. “Some nerve ending wiring for your arm control nerve is frayed along with your limb systems and several other nerve wirings. I'll plug in and begin an automatic PAK repair as soo-”

“NO!” Zim shrieked, far more panicked then the Computer ever heard him, and that was saying a lot judging by how jumpy he was.

“N-No.” Zim stammered, shakily getting to his feet, swaying where he stood. “There’s no need for an automatic PAK repair… I can do it myself.”

“......I… what? Are you sure? You can barely stand right now.. And your arms are very limp and...shaking....” The Computer couldn’t help but say aloud.

“Ah, Don’t worry, it’s just a little scratch and some loose wires, it’s fine!” Zim extended his PAK legs to walk to the PAK repair work station, as opposed to walking on his little organic legs that were trembling like jelly. Thankfully, that part of his PAK was undamaged as he was able to extend and use his PAKlegs no problem.

“...With all due respect, Master…” the Computer began as Zim leaned his body against the console, trying to figure out how to word what he would say next. “I don’t believe in your current condition that you would be able to repair your PAK manually.”

For a moment, Zim said nothing. He didn’t snap at him immediately like he normally did. Which worried him. He just leaned his head against the console, closing his eyes for a few moments.

“....Master?”

“EH!?” Zim’s antenna shot upwards and he looked confused. As if he wasn’t talking to him a few seconds ago.

That was very worrisome.

“Let me repair your PAK.” The Computer said in the most soft and stern voice he could muster.

Zim’s antenna twitched, as he realized what the Computer was asking.

“Eh.. Ah, no, don’t worry about it! I’m FINE!”

Before the Computer could argue his reasoning some more, Zim turned around so he could face the workbench and detached his PAK onto the work station. The PAK extended a few extra port wires and crawled onto the bench obediently, apparently used to this type of repair from its host. The lifeclock in the Computer’s systems activated, displaying the ten minute time limit in the center screen of every single camera in the home. A normal precaution so Invader Computers were currently aware when the PAK was attached to their Master and if they were at any risk of dying.

Zim arched his back and gave a long stretch that cracked his spine. He took a deep breath as he flexed his arms and claws, and began blinking each eye separately at a time and flexing his antenna individually from each other. The Computer observed him for a few moments. He consulted his database to see if such behavior was common for irkens who performed manual PAK repair. Oddly, there weren’t many instances of manual PAK repair operated by the irken host itself. PAK maintenance drones would repair other irkens typically, but not themselves. Invaders were trained in basic first aid, due to the nature of their job. They had to spend long quantities of time alone, and basic wear and tear maintenance was expected in their line of work.

A few chewed off wires however, that’s a different story.

“...Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” The Computer began hesitantly, suspecting that Zim had no clue what he was tampering with. He can never know with him.

Zim flexed his claws a few more times before he seemed satisfied, and he grabbed the wielding tool from overhead.

“Huh-hmm.” Zim said plainly. “This kinda thing happens all the time.”

“...You…. your wires get chewed out by weasels all the time?” The Computer asked.

“Yes! Well, no. Well.. I just mean… ya know… trainee combat and all that.”

Invader training combat?.... Zim had his wires yanked out of him before? The Computer suspected that was highly unlikely. Due to the nature of an irken’s PAK, and how they held most of an irken’s consciousness and served as a secondary brain to work alongside their primary one, PAKs were strictly off limits from attacking. Especially during training and simulations. In fair duels one of the main rules is to not mess with a fellow irken’s PAK. Everything else is fair game. Punch them in the eye, yank their antenna or grind the heel of their boot into the spooch. Attacking or tampering with an Irken’s PAK is strictly forbidden and would cause low marks and demerits, and in extreme cases, re-encoding.

“...How does that happen?” The Computer couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Ah, oh ya know how training is..” Zim said distractedly as he began welding and repairing the loose wires. “Stomping or yanking of the PAK to see how long I can last, throwing it back and forth amongst the Elites, hitting it a bit with the brunt of the electro spears a bit too hard…that’s just how it goes. All normal endurance training for only the most elite of the elite.”

…….He was kidding? Right?

"Like this one time during training, my PAK was yanked off and my fellow soilders wanted to see how long I could last, and that skilled Invaders are able to survive past the ten minute mark. Well, my record is about three minutes till. So we waited. They kept it away from me a little bit past my record, one minute was cutting it a little close, but we all had a good laugh about it."

He wasn’t kidding.

“They are just testing to make sure I have the right endurance! They obviously were testing my durability and enguitity! I had to learn a few things about PAK repair if I wanted to complete my Invader training! A few dents and dings like this is nothing.”

.....

The Computer immediately pulled up any information he had based on Zim’s training days as an Elite. He couldn’t find any documented evidence that his fellow elites had bullied him like this, but he did notice the peers he was typically stationed with at the time.

ELITE RED:

SKILLED TACTICIAN AND IMPRESSIVE COMBAT SKILLS

HIGHLY FAVORED BY FORMER ALL MIGHTY TALLEST MIYUKI

CURRENT STATUS: ALL MIGHTY TALLEST RED

ELITE PURPLE

RUTHLESS NO MERCY APPROACH TO COMBAT.

TOP SCORES IN STEALTH

CURRENT STATUS: ALL MIGHTY TALLEST PURPLE

That….

That can’t be right.

That would be impossible.

Logical evidence would suggest that these two were the ones that would purposely mess with Zim’s PAK to give him clear and unfair advantages. However, the Tallest are all powerful and all knowing in their judgements. They wouldn’t have become the Tallest if they were breaking the rules as elites. Even then, while Zim was the runt of his squad, he didn’t deserve such treatment. Either Zim did not know of the protocols or he thought that it was a standard part of training.

But… Zim had to be lying? Right? I mean he’s defective, who knows what crazy thinks?

That’s what the Computer wanted to think. But watching Zim calmly and accurately repair his PAK as if it was normal routine for him suggested otherwise. He’s been at it for about a minute now.

“...Master.” The Computer said lowly and softly, lowering the probability of startling him.

“Hmmm?” Zim responded, laser-focused on his task.

“How are your hands so steady…. You were flailing around with limp arms not to long ago… and your PAK is still damaged.”

Zim blinked up from his work, pausing for a moment before he gave a soft chuckle. It was unlike when Zim laughed loudly to assert his dominance. It was squeaky and soft.

“Silly Computer!” Zim chuckled and he got back to work.

“...Uhhhhh..”

Zim snickered to himself. “You’re a machine, so I don’t expect you to get it.”

What? What was so funny?

“My PAK has been damaged.” Zim then pointed towards his temple. “Not my ORGANIC brain.”

“....I …..”

“Once the PAK is detached, my biological shell draws resources from the organic brain. The nerve endings in those are FINE. It’s the PAK that’s the problem.”

The Computer considered this. While what Zim was saying was true, most irkens didn’t tend to view themselves as a disconnect to their PAK. It was a level of heightened awareness not many had achieved. If an iken’s PAK was damaged, it was common they would still experience pain once it was detached. There were many reports of a PAK being damaged, the PAK thinking that it’s host has broken a leg, and once the PAK was removed, the irken biological shell would still feel as if their leg is broken. Only PAK technicians had this level of understanding on how the PAK brain and organic brain co-exist together.

“You know, for an Irken super Computer, you’re not that smart if you forgot how PAKs work.” Zim snickered.

Oh that little…

“I have not!” The Computer huffed. “Just seeing this level of competence from you is shocking.”

“I know, I know. I am truly amazing!” Zim beamed. Apparently not absorbing the Computer’s insult. Probably for the best.

“Now silence! I need to concentrate.”

The Computer remained silent as he watched Zim work. Zim's hands worked efficiently at a pace that showed he was comfortable making these types of repairs.

Even so, an automatic repair would be faster and more efficient. The Computer took into consideration the stress patterns in his voice and heart rate when he thought he needed an automatic repair. In addition to his reluctance to being scanned or his PAK being scanned.

…...So, he knew he was defective then?

That had to be the logical conclusion. Only Defectives tended to get nervous about PAK fiddling or PAK repair. Although, observing his Master's hands, Zim had no qualms with repairing himself. Due to his intense focus and efficiency, it could almost be described as therapeutic for him.

Then was it the Computer himself he was afraid of?

There was still too much insufficient data for him to make a logical conclusion at the moment. But he will take Zim's comfort in mind when he eventually needs to consult him about PAK and biological repair in the future. Because let's face it, Zim will hurt himself again.

/////////////////////////////

this part made me very emotional, and also made me hate the tallest even more

[sweetiepie08]

RebelZ (Chapter 9)

Invader Zim fanfic

While analyzing Zim’s PAK for weaknesses, Tak discovers strange coding that sends her on a search for answers. The clues lead her to uncover a conspiracy that governs all of Irken society. When the truth sends her on the run, she has no choice but to return to the one place the Tallest would never willingly go: Urth.

Meanwhile, Dib has noticed odd changes in Zim’s behavior. Has the invader simply grown bored of his mission over the last few years, or is there something more interesting going on?

People who asked to be tagged: @incorrect-invader-zim , @messinwitheddie, @reblogstupids, @cate-r-gunn, @agentpinerulesall​

If anyone else would like to be added to the tag list feel free to message me. Also, if you’re on the tag list and you changed your name, please just let me know.

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10.

[-]

“Care to tell us what the fuck that was?” the Dib shouted as they ran down the hall.

“A coup, obviously,” Zim shot back. “Just not one where you seize power at the end. So, half a coup.”

“So then who seizes power now?”

“The Tallest Red and Purple still have it,”

Dib nearly tripped over his own feet in his shock. “You mean you didn’t kill them?”

“It’s nearly impossible to poison an Irken,” Tak explained. “The PAK filters out most toxins. You can incapacitate them, though, for a short period of time.”

“So you basically just quit your job in spectacular fashion,” Dib said indignantly.

Tak almost couldn’t believe it. Zim must be sincere in his betrayal. He poisoned the Tallest and declared to the entire upper crust of the Irken military that it was intentional. There was no coming back from that. Every other disaster he caused could reasonably be argued as a mistake. But there could be no doubt here. Zim truly had turned on the empire.

Yet, something still didn’t sit quite right with her. If he had gone rebel, if he had truly turned traitor, then his life clock would have gone off like hers did. One would reasonably assume the impotence for this betrayal was her discovery of the Control Brains parasite, but she was with him ever since she told him that news and she never saw his life clock go off. But that could only mean something else prompted him at an earlier date. So the question was, what made Zim finally snap?

They came to a split in the hallway. Tak started going right while Zim went left.

“Uh, the Voot is this way,” Tak called.

“I’m not going to the Voot,” Zim yelled back. “I’m going to the control room.”

Dib and Tak cast each other a glance, then followed him. They found him crouched behind a door at the end of the hall and joined him in his hiding spot. Dib took a peak inside. There, dozens of Irkens worked at their stations. They seemed unaware that, for now, their leaders were incapacitated.

Zim tapped his PAK and a metal ball flew into his hands. He pulled a pin, tossed it in, and smashed the control panel, shutting the door. They heard coughing from the other side and, after a few minutes, opened the door to find the Irkens unconscious on the floor.

“So, what are we doing in here again?” Dib asked, as they stepped into the room.

Zim grabbed one of the Irkens who still slouched in their chair and threw them to the floor. “Wiping Urth off the navigation map.” He sat down and the monitor and started messing with the buttons. “If I’m going to continue to use it as my home base, I can’t have them finding it.”

“Not so fast,” Tak slapped his fingers away from the buttons. “Before this goes any further, I need answers. If you’re truly on our side, there’s only one way your life clock didn’t go off.”

“We don’t have time for this!”

“You had a rebellious thought!” Tak declared. “When?”

“Three Urth years ago.”

“Three years?” Dib shouted, stepping up to them. “But I’ve been watching you. Why were you still trying to conquer Earth if you kinda-quit three years ago?”

“I wasn’t.”

“But I saw you building machines!” Dib argued.

“They weren’t for me!” Zim shot back.

Tak began to ask “But how-” before Zim cut her off.

“Silence!” he shouted. “Silence your questions! I need to concentrate.”

Zim continued typing on the buttons until a picture of the Earth appeared on the screen. The stats were scarce, save for the coordinates and the note, ‘that place where Zim is.’ The little blue ball of dirt and water had gone unnoticed by the empire, noteworthy only as a banishment site. To them, it was merely a place to keep Zim contained, far away from anything important. But after the stunt they pulled today, it would be a target.

Another few clicks of a button and the Urth was gone, leaving only a blank file in its wake. All Irken military ships automatically synced with the Massive. If it was gone from this data base, it was essentially invisible to all Irkens. If they wanted to find Urth again, they’d have to scour the universe for it. But why stop at Urth?

“Let’s dump it all,” Tak said.

“What?”

“Erase the database,” she said. “It’ll be a crippling blow to the empire.”

“Do we really have time to erase everything?” Dib asked. The human made a good point.

“Jut the maps then,” she suggested. “They would have to rebuild their navigation systems from scratch and it would send the fleet into disarray.”

“Zim is no radical!” Zim snapped. “I’m only doing this to cover my own ass.”

“Not a raical?” Dib scoffed. “You just poisoned your own leaders.”

“That was personal,” Zim argued. “This is political.”

“And what about those weapons you’re building?!” Dib shot back. “If they’re not for Irk, then who are they for?”

“Zim’s business deals are none of your… um… business!”

“Shut up!” Tak commanded, taking a seat at another monitor. “We don’t have time for this! Let’s get these maps erased and get out of here.”

“If you even make it that far,” a chorus of voices answered.

Dib looked around. “Who said that?”

“We did, human.”

Every Irken in the room rose to their feet. Tak prepared herself for a fight. Her eyes darted as she watched them all, poised to deploy the weapons in her PAK. But none made a move to attack. They all stood there, stalk still, with a dead look in their eyes.

Dib gaped at the sight. “H-how are you…”

“Silence Urth Creature!” the possessed Irkens shouted in unison, turning their cold eyes toward Dib. “Do not interrupt us again!” Dib shut his mouth and the Irkens calmed. “Congratulations defectives” they said, now addressing Zim and Tak. “It’s been centuries since we had to resort to total override, but mark our words, you will pay for this waste of food.”

“What do you care for waste?” Tak spat back at them. “You throw Irken lives away every day in your conquest.”

“A calculated cost to bring me more to feed from in the long term,” the Irkens explained with their eerily monotone voices. “You should know about calculated risks. Don’t forget, we see everything you do.”

“When have I ever sacrificed good soldiers?”

Every possessed Irken in the room wore the same mocking smirk. “All through your training days. Don’t you remember? We saw everything you did, every little cheat to get ahead.”

The Irkens tapped buttons on their control boards and soon, every monitor showed various scenes from Tak’s training years. “Electrodes hidden in your boots to cripple race opponents. Stealing test answers and planting them in a rival’s locker after copying them for yourself. You got top scores on your exams and excelled at your drills, but is it really victory if you have to sabotage your competitions? Oh sure, you studied and trained, but it never felt like enough, did it? Never thought you could win a fair fight. Had to tear someone else down first. Maybe, if it weren’t for all your cheating, we’d have let you make up your Elite ranking test. After all, we allowed everyone else who was inconvenienced by the blackout to take it.” Their smirks grew as they twisted the knife further. “Just not you.”

Tak ground her teeth together as she watched the images play out on the screen. There was no denying them. The monitors played footage from her own memory bank. They showed her and everyone else who she really was. She work so hard. She clawed her way to the top and did everything she could to stay there. But it was all a lie. And now they knew it. What was worse, Zim knew it. That little pain in the ass managed to make it to elite the first time, even while being a walking disaster, and he never had to deliberately cheat. The idea of him lording that over her was enough to make her blood boil.

“Perhaps you can prove everyone wrong, though,” the Irken voices went on. “Take the honest route for once in your life. Tell Zim what you learned on your little trip to Refirencee. Tell him what you suspect.”

“Fool!” Zim scoffed. “Zim already accessed Tak’s memories. I know everything she knows about the Control Brain parasite.”

“Yes, you saw the same books. But did you reach the same conclusions?”

“Guys! Don’t you see what it’s doing?” The Dib burst in. “It’s distracting you. It’s keeping you here until your leaders recover. Let’s erase those maps and get out of here!”

“Silence!” Zim snapped at Dib, then turned back to the dead-eyed Irkens. “Tell Zim what you know, creepy hive-mind…thing!”

“Have you ever wondered why you’re such a failure? Why you destroy everything you touch? Why, no matter what you do, everything always blows up in your face? It’s because you have no choice in the matter. It’s what you were made for.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Before we push for something big, we require extra sustenance. We take this sustenance in what some have called a blood toll. On our first planet, we made many mistakes, one was asking our hosts directly for sacrifices. We know better now.”

“Ans what does this have to do with me?” Zim growled impatiently.

“Since the beginning of our reign, one PAK has been passed down through generations, carrying a suppressed impulse for destruction. We need only to activate it and we have our blood toll. Clearly our PAK has become quite damaged over the years. It no longer works quite right. You’re so defective, you couldn’t even declare your name right.”

The screen flashed the name Zim across it. It then reversed the letters and spread them out to reveal an acronym. ZIM became MIZ. And MIZ became Massacre Initiator Z.

“You were supposed to live as a low-ranking drone until we activated your destructive impulse and die in the disaster. You, however, defied us at every turn. We kept you alive out of sheer curiosity. We wanted to see how your life would play out. It’s been entertaining, however, you’ve become too great a burden to bare.”

Zim stood motionless, staring straight ahead. They waited for the typical Zim outburst of “lies!” or declaring his greatness, but nothing came. His eyes looked as dead as the possessed Irkens around them. He said nothing, did nothing. As much as Tak couldn’t stand Zim’s obnoxious voice or erratic behavior, watching him be so still was chilling.

Tak’s antenna perks at the sound of footsteps trooping down the hall. The Dib’s head darted for the door. “Guy! Come on! We’re out of time!”

Tak smacked Zim’s lifeless body away from the control panel. “Do you think you can stop us by getting into our heads?”

“Oh simple Tak,” the Irkens sighed. “We've lived in your heads since you were fitted with your packs.”

Tak sneered at them. “I cut you off for me and I won't rest until every Irken is free of you.”

“Please, you worked your whole life to get our attention. You finally have it. Do you want to throw that away? Perhaps we can find a place with someone of your drive and ingenuity.”

“Liars!” Did they think she was stupid? She knew as well as it that treason of this scale would never go unpunished. Even if they tried to appease her with a higher rank or a cushy job, it’d only be a matter of time before they got rid of her. But even the fact that it was trying to negotiate meant something. She was a threat to it, and she would stay a threat until the day she died.

“We you know you, Tak. You’re a plotter. You won't do anything rash.”

They don’t know me half as well as they think. “Want a bet?” She started hitting buttons on the control board. An alert came up on the screen and the voice blared from the speakers. “All maps queued for deletion. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

She hit one more button and the screen went black. “Deletion successful.”

“Take that you parasite bitch.”

“Come on,” Dib begged, pulling on her arm. The footsteps were noticeably louder. “We have to go now!”

Tak took off running and Dib pulled on the frozen Zim until his legs moved. They burst into the hall and immediately came across a group of Irkan soldiers. “There they are!” one of the soldiers cried.

Tak led the way as they ran toward the ship’s hanger. The soldiers fired at them. A laser cannon popped out of Tak’s pack and returned fire, but it was difficult for her to aim while leading the dash to the Voot. She wished one of her companions had could back her up with a pistol but Zim was still barely conscious and Dib was preoccupied with keeping his legs moving. The sound of little metallic feet running beside them gave her an idea.

“Zim, tell me your SIR unit to go into defensive mode.

There was no response. Zim was as helpful as a sack of empty ginzor cans.

“Hey Zim’s robot,” Dib said to the little SIR unit.

Gir looked up at him curiously. “Hmm?”

“Don't you have any weapons or something?”

“Huh?”

“You know, something that makes pretty lights and goes ‘pew, pew’?”

“Oh that. I got that.” A giant laser cannon popped out of his head and he fired wildly into the soldiers behind them, forcing the Irkens to scatter for cover

Finally, they made it to the hangar and all jumped in the Voot. Zim slid zombie-like into the pilot seat.

“Come on,” Dib said, shaking Zim’s shoulder. “Get us out of here!”

“Zim!” Tak snapped. “If you don't fly this ship, I will!”

That seemed to work. Zim shook off whatever stupor he was in and his usual look of single-minded determination returned to his eyes. “No one pilots Zim’s ship but Zim!” He took hold of the controls and the ship roared to life. In a flash, they took off into the stars.

[tallestathena]

If you don’t mind, could you explain how the control brain works? Im having trouble understanding it for some reason :(

Let me put this as simply as I can manage...

Housing units most often have more than one light source, yes? Bulbs and lamps and such?

Imagine that each lightbulb within a housing unit is an Irken with a PAK.

Lightbulbs can be individually removed, replaced, or destroyed, without affecting other bulbs. But what happens when, say, the housing unit is struck by lightning?

All of the lights go out.

Just as all Irken life would be extinguished if harm were to come to the control brains. While we are individuals, yes, we are all connected.

In a more technical sense, the control brains are the source of all data in the Irken Empire. They are where data comes from when a smeet is spawned, programming that smeet with their name, personality, and memories, and they are where all data goes to as that smeet lives and grows and learns.

The control brains categorize all of the data that they receive as useful or defective — they note what DNA contributes to more superior Irkens, they note what technology is beneficial to the race and the cause; they are essentially sentient databases.

[ruffylorpship]

Introduction: Unfortunate Partners in Life

Right, I made the introduction chapter for this AU I created called Mindshare and I haven’t written anything in so long! I’ll definitely be expanding on this but for now, everything will be its own story with a slice of their life over the years.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21007967

I hope this can grow into something bigger once I get everything down. Gah I wish I had more time ;.; Hope you guys enjoy it! For people who don’t want to go to AO3 I’ll post the introduction under the cut~

Awareness seeped into his brain. He had finally awakened.

Systems were running as they were supposed to. All knowledge pertaining to the Armada’s history and the current objective was loaded. The file given designated him as a science drone to assist in building technology for the upcoming invasion titled Impending Doom. Red errors popped up in his mind’s eye, but he cast them aside, knowing that starting up always smooths out later. He identified himself as the Irken Zim, ready to serve the Empire and the Almighty Tallest. Zim wanted to make sure he was fully functional and ready for duty, so he took his time to run a diagnostic on his pak. Surely his leaders would want him at full-functioning capacity, and he would not let them down during his first moments of existing.

More warnings were popping up, irritating Zim and causing him to dismiss them all in a rush. He had to hurry and open his optics. The world would not wait for him forever to complete his own internal mission and join the rest in glory.

Muffled voices broke through the fog before the world was abruptly ripped away from him. He screamed to himself in the darkness of his brain, not understanding what had gone wrong. Any attempt to send a distress signal from the pak commands were unresponsive, causing his mind to retreat further into the machinery. For a short while, he could feel the cool metal floor of his smeetery chamber and hear the voices of those that would prepare him for the future. For a little bit, Zim had felt complete. Now, in this prison that housed his consciousness, he didn’t know what to do.

XXX

Maybe the armada was testing him? That could have been the answer. The mighty Zim wasn’t going to be decommissioned before proving his own worth! He would wait patiently for them to replug him back into his body and show his Tallest how functional he was. There were a few alerts about intense environmental conditions from the outside, but that was nothing to worry about. The pak was the finest technology in all of Irk. Zim would be safe unt-

XXX

Screaming. A horrible pitiful wail tore through the air. Something was terribly wrong. Only one optic nerve seemed to be working. He breathed in a gasp and paused, realizing something else wasn’t making sense. He was taking in air despite irkens not having to truly breathe. The only conclusion he could come up with was that his pak had latched onto the closest object to reawaken itself, which in this case was another life form. His pak must have gotten lost in space and landed on a distant planet.

Usually, this would be a downgrade from his superior self, but Zim saw this as a perfect opportunity to get back to his body using this borrowed vessel. If he was attached to something that was not his own irken flesh, the creature he was stuck to would eventually die off and give him complete control. Strangely, the repair protocols were being activated, feeding themselves into the life-form and repairing strange damage that couldn’t be properly identified. The energy needed being too great caused Zim to fall back into a dormant state.

XXX

Eyes blinked open, but everything seemed to be slightly blurred. Against the odds, the creature he was attached to was still alive if not a little broken. It seemed to have it’s own mind intact as well. Impressive for a less superior species. Zim could feel the weight of its presence clinging to him like a filthy growth. The mind was not inside his pak, for only one could be encoded to the machine and was binding for life. With no defenses inhabiting the organic squishy brain of the other organic Zim took a chance and pushed through to take control once more, also hoping the other mind would disappear forever. The brightness swam through eyes not his own. A giant stinky monster in some sort of clothing hovered over him, as tall as the Almighty Tallest and draped in white cloth. His eyes were covered by protective gear and his giant gloved hands reached down to pick Zim up, making him realize the host he was attached to was extremely small.

‘Warm...’ Zim thought in awe as he was able to feel for the first time since he had been plugged in. An echo of the same thought came back.

“Why hello there son! My my, you gave the boys and I such a big scare. Turns out that the device is keeping you nice and stable. No more termination for you today.”

‘Termination? Death? How dare this creature try and dispose of me! It will suffer the wrath of Zim!’

With as much power as he could Zim waved his clawless hand in front of the giant face and hissed menacingly. His strength tired out quickly however and he seemed to be pushed back into the background once again, aware that the vessel he housed had started crying again.

“Uhh sir? Why was your child hissing?”

“Oh, it’s probably nothing. He just recovered from a traumatic experience of near-death after all. There there little Dib, no more crying for tonight.” The creature cooed while attempting to rock the crying alien smeet.

‘Shut your whining you worm creature, your yelling is worse than the sqorchmurfs of planet Brakiclax!’

It cried harder as if to defy him. Oh, the creature would pay dearly when he gets control back. He could feel the pain and confusion seeping through the mental connection, creating a small barrage of half baked thoughts that could barely count as actual words or images.

It was literally a primitive smeet without knowledge or understanding. The blankest slate in the universe. Just great… The pain of the creature's emotions was getting progressively worse, causing Zim to try and console the little creature in hopes of getting it to finally quiet.

‘Um... there there little Dib-thing? Shut up so the big monster will put us down!’

Funny enough, the creature now tagged in his database as 'The Dib' stopped its crying and changed his tone to a soft whimper. After he was hooked back up to the medical equipment for monitoring and the giant creatures left, Zim made sure his host was unconscious again before extending a wire from his pak to plug into the mainframe. He had some learning to do.

XXX

Zim tried piloting the tiny legs towards the machine, already imagining many ways to blow up the miserable planet. He discovered the rock was called Earth. It’s natives called ‘humans’ dominated the land with their stink and filth. He figured his pak must have accidentally been misplaced and jettisoned into space, eventually making his way to the far uncharted planet. Even though the earth was not marked for conquering in his database he decided he would take it over and present it as an offering to his Tallest. Even though he was supposed to be a science drone hopefully doing this for his leaders would give him a promotion of joining the Invaders in conquest.

He had overheard with his overly large borrowed ears that the latest machinery the parental unit had created could potentially plunge the world into darkness. Taking over the power would surely ensure that control would be handed to Zim! This would be easier if he waited for the body he was borrowing to grow out of smeethood but there was no time to lose.

The door was big, but nothing his pak legs couldn’t fix. Making sure to not make a sound he crept into the room and prepared to take out the scientists that were hard at work in the lab. Before he could reactivate his legs to engage in attack mode the smeet woke up and started fighting his mind. Not expecting much resistance, Zim prepared his attack again only to have his body sit back down on the cold floor and cross his arms in protest.

‘Give me back control you useless stinky smeet!’

‘No!’

An unexpected reply making him pause in his efforts. The thing had barely been cognitive for weeks. The only exposer it had to the outside world was through the giant humans and through himself… wait…

‘Have you been leaching from me? You’ve been looking at the same resources I have and gathering intel from the mighty ZIM!?’

‘No…’

Well it certainly had a one-track mind, expected of a primitive life form, but ultimately a hindrance.

‘Give me back control and shut down into a sleep cycle for the night you waste of space!’

‘No no no no no no bad no!’

The ultimate temper tantrum resulted in the body rolling along the floor like a sad fleshy ball, which is how the scientists found the smeet later in the night. The pitiful worm-baby had won this round for now.

XXX

“No school! Please no school! Noooo!”

Dib cried as he pulled harder from his father’s gloved grip. He had to pretend to be as smart as a normal kid so his dad wouldn’t try and force him into science bonding time. Dib prefered the quiet life of searching the internet for new things to learn. He didn’t need to be near other people so they could make fun of his life support and his silly hair. Sadly his dad didn’t really seem to agree with him sitting in his room all day.

“Now now Dib, you need room to grow and evolve. While your sister is sleeping I need you to unpack the books I got you so you can learn responsibility. I swear the only words you like to say since you’ve started talking are ‘no’ and ‘alien’ and both words are ridiculous in this household. Now hurry up, I have a science demonstration to attend to.”

With that his dad let go of his arm and hurried downstairs, leaving Dib to sulk on his bed. At five years old Dib Membrane had learned a lot about the world. Some of his teachings were through his father when he wasn’t busy. The internet was full of information, especially about strange and unexplained mysteries of the world that science had no real answers for. The last source was a bit more… unreliable and tended to be bad most of the time.

‘Your parental unit is so bossy…’ His inner voice grumbled as Dib started packing up the books into his arm bag. The life support made it impossible to use a normal backpack.

“You mean Dad?"

‘Yes! That’s what I said filthy worm-child!’

Dib rolled his eyes at the comment, noticing at the top left his glasses had a smudge. Another reason he didn’t want to go to school. The internet said people tended to have eye problems later in their life, while he had the luck to need them very early.

“You use big words a lot. Why are you so smart when I’m not?”

‘Ehh…That’s because… I was created with knowledge already programmed. Despite your fast learning capabilities, humans are born with blank slates and squishy matter that need stuff like time and repetition.’

That caused Dib to pause and scratch his head in confusion from the big words being thrown around, making a note to research them later on the internet. He already had a book filled with words the voice tended to throw around, making him want to understand.

“Aren’t you human?”

‘Yes yes! I am definitely a fully functioning monkey-child! I mean I am you but more superior with my technological upgrades… LEAVE ME ALONE!’

The volume inside his head caused him to wince, even though he knew it wasn’t real. It was strange. People don’t usually develop voices in their heads. Maybe the voice was part of his imagination, like an imaginary friend that also worked as a duel personality. He was smarter than most people his age, he knew that fact because his dad’s lab assistants always told him, but he was also a bit strange.

He stopped at the door, with his bag safely hanging from his right arm, hands pressed together in nervousness.

“I’m scared everyone is going to make fun of me. I’m too different. Why can’t I stay home? I learn enough on my own.”

He really didn’t expect the voice to reply back, but surprisingly it did with a bit of hesitation in its voice.

‘Despite how much I’d rather stay within the close confines of accessible technology, I agree with your parental unit when he says you need to grow and evolve. With height comes power, and with knowledge comes privilege to achieve what you must do. Don’t let those smelly man creatures be the boss of you. Beside’s, gathering intel from this wasteland of a planet will be beneficial for upcoming invas- I mean challenges.’

“You’re using too many big words again, but I feel a bit better. I want to find a real monster someday, and I need to learn about the world to get there. I know that much, I think? So…thanks voice. Or uhh… imaginary friend? I don’t really know what to call you. Maybe I should name you?”

‘I am no pet smeetling! You may address me as the Almighty Superior Leader Ruler Overlord and Master Zim!’

With one last roll of his eyes, Dib pushed the door open and made his way downstairs to meet his fate.

“Right, thanks Zim.”

[random-iz-stuff]

@mysticmermaid108

They can theoretically get sick, but it’s so rare that it’s practically unheard of. There’s two main reasons for this.

The first is simply that there aren’t many diseases that are compatible with Irken biology.

There are a lot of different species in the galaxy, thousands in fact, all from different planets. And each species has its own biology, with its own type of viruses and illnesses that infect and cause symptoms in their own ways.

Even though some species can share a few attributes that they evolved separately from one another (For example: Humans and Planet Jackers are both mammals (or at least have all the basic mammalian attributes), but don’t share any common ancestors or anything else. Just the basic mammal requirements of “Warm blooded, has hair, gives milk, live birth”. They both evolved separately from one another, but share a few small attributes.), most alien diseases can’t infect other aliens, at least not effectively. Their biology is simply too foreign to the virus. There are still many diseases that can infect multiple species, but a universal virus that can infect every species in the galaxy is completely impossible.

So a lot of diseases out there just can’t enter the Irken’s body in the first place.

Now, you may be asking: “What about irken diseases that originated from the Irken race?”, and to that I say: “What Irken diseases that originated from the Irken race?”. Irkens, being perfectionists that heavily value cleanliness, wiped out every single disease native to Irk. All of them. Irk-borne diseases are a thing of the past. So there’s really not as many diseases out there that can infect irkens as you might think.

The second reason is the Irken’s PAK.

As one of the PAK’s main purposes involves being a life support system, PAK’s have a LOT of disease control methods, ranging from physical systems and medical devices in the PAK to the PAK having a degree of control over the Irken immune system. In fact, the immune system is the thing that the PAK has the second most authority over, beaten only by its constant monitoring and restricting of the Irken brain.

It’s very common for Irkens to get a disease of some kind only for the PAK to completely get rid of it before the Irken even starts showing symptoms, sometimes even managing to detect the disease, pinpoint what it is and cure it in a less than an hour. Irkens rarely even know that they’re sick because they’re cured that fast.

So not many diseases can infect Irkens and even when they DO get sick, they’re cured by their PAKs before they even start showing symptoms.

But Irkens can get properly sick in just the right situations. For example, Earth. Earth is a planet that’s completely unlisted in not just the Irken database, but all alien records. It was only proven to exist when Zim went there, and literally all information on the place comes from Zim and his documents. This means that Earth’s diseases are unknown to the rest of space.

PAKs automatically have access to a few sections of the Irken database. This connection serves multiple purposes, but the thing worth mentioning now is that this a necessary part of the immune system function of PAKs, as they use the database to figure out what is infecting the Irken and how to cure it. If they don’t know what exactly is infecting them, they’ll start comparing it to similar diseases.

Since Earth is unlisted and is so separate from the rest of space, literally being surrounded by a massive uncharted dead zone several thousand light years wide, the diseases found there are unknown and don’t have many things that they can be compared to.

It’s very unlikely that Earth diseases would be compatible with Irken biology, actually having a better chance of not being compatible than actually being compatible, but if an Earth disease COULD infect an Irken, the PAK wouldn’t be able cure it in less than an hour like normal. The Irken would still recover rather fast due to their PAK still providing a massive boost to their immune system, but it could take a while and the Irken would experience most, if not all the usual symptoms of said disease.

However, this whole thing is very rare, as uncharted planets with completely unknown diseases aren’t exactly common.

The second way involves PAK maintenance and PAK replacements.

When something is wrong with an Irken’s PAK that isn’t a defect, like physical damage or a problem with the PAK legs, weapons, life support or anything that isn’t a mental thing, they bring themselves to a PAK technician and get themselves fixed. Hell, if an Irken has a minor defect that’s considered treatable, they also (are forced to) go to a PAK technician to get themselves fixed.

PAK replacements are rarer, and are only done when an Irken has an extremely damaged PAK that can’t be fixed without completely taking it apart first or when the resources to safely and quickly repair a PAK simply aren’t available. Using a device called a neurothing, they remove the broken PAK, transfer all of its data into a fresh one, and then put the new PAK on the Irken.

In both of these situations, especially when talking about PAK replacements, the PAK has a short period of time afterwards where it needs to readjust to the Irken’s body. During this time, the Irken may have some problems with (among other things) balance, activating a few different PAK systems and most notably of all, their immune system, as the PAK doesn’t have full control over it until it has fully readjusted, which can take anywhere from a day to a week depending on how much was messed with during maintenance.

During this time, the Irken can be infected by diseases and the PAK won’t be able to instantly cure it. The Irken’s immune system and what little the PAK can provide during this time still lets the Irken recover rather quickly, but it’ll take a while and the Irken will experience the usual symptoms.

[random-iz-stuff]

So, like, what's up with Zim's computer? You said the Control brains are like it but with a slightly greater level of sentience. And, like, are directly connected to the database thing. How much access does computer have? To like, the database and stuff. what can it do. What can't it do. Do other invaders get similar computers?

Zim’s computer is one of the closest things to standard issue invader equipment he has. It’s an older model that would have been used during Operation Impending Doom 1, but because Zim took the entire thing down before it could even start, Zim’s computer was never used and got shoved into storage until the Tallest found it and gave it to Zim for Operation Impending Doom 2.

The other invaders have Model 2 base computers while Zim has an old Model 1.

Base Computers are sentient the same way SIR units are sentient. They’re normally incapable of free will and are only capable of using their intelligence on whatever their owner tells it to do, along with keeping the base running smoothly, but are granted free will and unrestricted sentience if the mission is in critical danger.

Base computers are capable of viewing most of the irken database (things like the height chart and most government data is hidden) but they cannot make changes or edit the database like a control brain. Same goes for if an irken plugged themselves into an invader’s base computer. The computer can see parts of the PAK and find things like errors and defects and things that need fixing, but can’t interact with the PAK besides downloading and uploading small amounts of data, like reports or blueprints.

Zim’s computer is also slightly defective. Over time, as it sat in storage, the unrestricted sentence that’s normally only given when the mission is in jeopardy slowly became more available during times when the mission isn’t in danger, and when Zim started using it, it sped up the process. At the start of the series, it had the almost same amount of limited free will that a regular computer would have, just a little bit more than normal, but by the end of the series, it was almost fully sentient at all times.

Model 1 base computers are programmed to recognize when they become defective and purge their own systems when those defects start affecting their efficiency. The invader is then supposed to replace the old computer with a backup. That’s why Zim’s computer suddenly went down during Invasion Of The Idiot Dog Brain. Their access to the emergency free will systems hit the point where a purge was deemed necessary.

Zim didn’t have a full backup computer, but he did have a backup hard drive with a copy of his original computer on it and overwrote the automatic purge system so they wouldn’t delete themselves again, because he doesn’t have another model 1 base computer that he can replace his main one with, so a copy of the defective one is going to have to do.

Real invaders use model 2 base computers, which can detect any defects that they have and automatically fix them with some downtime. No system purge required.

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You might answer this in another post you said you'd make but........ Do the control brains have names? Did they have names? They seem to look like bigger PAKs, so they may have been people once.............. Do they have..... vulnerabilities? Can control brains died? Has that ever happened? What if it did happen?

The control brains are basically just collections of knowledge with same level of sentience as something like Zim’s base computer, maybe a bit more sentient. They’re basically like if you took Wikipedia and gave it sentence and access to government data and files.

The resemblance to PAKs is mostly for aesthetic purposes.

Irkens have their brains uploaded into the control brain database after death, but they don’t continue living inside the control brains, their brain is instead split apart and all of the irken’s knowledge, memories and skills are downloaded, to train the control brains further.

Control brains do have names. They’re named after previous Tallest. Their voices are also sampled from previous Tallest.

Control brains can’t really die because they aren’t really alive. They are designed to advise and plan the most efficient course of action at all times. Emotions, empathy and anything else that can get in the way is removed completely. They DO have personalities, but the personality of a control brain isn’t going to effect how it judges you or plans things.

If a control brain is damaged beyond repair, a fresh one is built and (if possible) the personality of the original control brain is downloaded into it before it’s connected to the government database.

Control brains cannot be hacked into because of how complicated their machinery and code is. They also contain more antiviruses, firewalls and virus detection software than anything else in existence. You might as well be trying to hack into an actual brain.

Zim corrupting those three control brains during his trial didn’t permanently destroy them or make them useless. Control brains naturally have to deal with that sort of thing whenever they delete a defective irken. Parts of the PAK software is usually corrupted or doesn’t properly connect to the control brains, leading to the control brains overworking themselves to connect properly and destroy the corrupted data. Every time a control brain deletes a defective irken or even messes with their PAK, it gets a little bit corrupted and needs a few days to fix itself. That’s why there’s three control brains in a trial. Just in case a large amount of possibly defective irkens need to be looked at or deleted in a short time span.

The control brains have never had do deal with something as defective as Zim before, and they completely overwhelmed themselves to the point where they almost completely corrupted themselves. In a couple of months, those three control brains will be completely fine.

Zim can still be deleted despite his PAK being damaged enough to overwhelm three control brains simultaneously. He just needs more control brains. Even a fourth brain would be enough considering that the deletion process with three control brains reached 99% before the control brains went down.

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Is there a way to disconnect a PAK from the... idk, Irkan database or something? Go off the grid and stop being traceable. Like, any way. And if someone THEORETICALLY DID IT what negative consequences might they suffer, aside from not being able to access a lot of stuff?

It is theoretically possible but Ill-advised. Disconnecting from the database would first require a Royal PAK Technician (the highest rank of PAK technician that usually only serves the Tallest) to remove and disable several different parts of the PAK, and replace several more parts because they rely on the database to function properly (like the translators and PAK communicators). This is next to impossible since Royal class irkens aren’t going to willingly betray the empire like that, and the Control Brains and Tallest will be instantly notified when the database notices that parts of the PAK are being deactivated but the irken body is still alive and healthy. Instantly marking the irken as a potential high ranking defective.

The second thing you need to do is connect yourself to a Control Brain and have them completely purge the rest of the PAK’s connections to the database, since some parts can’t be safely disconnected by a PAK technician and must be rewritten by a control brain. Otherwise, the PAK will begin updating itself and reconnect to the database after a while.

I’m sure you see the problem here.

You cannot convince a control brain to remove you from the database. That would be counterproductive to the empire and would require the control brain itself to betray the empire, which a control brain cannot even comprehend. They can’t even comprehend the possibility that an irken would want to leave the empire like this.

Plus this is all high ranking defective behaviour and you’re connecting yourself to a machine who’s JOB it is to find and delete high ranking defectives.

If you connect yourself to a Control Brain and tell it to disconnect you from the irken database, it will go through your recent memories in the span of a few seconds, find whatever moment you decided to leave the empire (ie, committed a highly defective act), save that moment and delete you. Before showing your anti-empire thoughts to the Tallest as proof that you were defective and a deletion without an official trial declared was necessary.

If an irken somehow managed to disconnect itself, they’d still be able to live and all that, no life support systems rely on the database, but they’d be unable to speak any language besides irken until they learn another language the old fashioned way because the PAK translator relies on the database. They’d be unable to contact anyone using their PAK, requiring a proper phone and most importantly, they’d be unable to pay for anything because the irken monetary system uses the database to track how much an irken has and how much they’ve spent. They’d also be unable to access irken medical bays and unlock irken brand ships (aka, every ship the empire uses) without the identification that a PAK profile provides. They could use a phone that doesn’t require a PAK profile, but those things are heavily monitored and the empire will be searching for them.

They might have a chance at life outside the empire now, but they still wouldn’t be able to leave empire space because they have no money, no ship, no methods of contacting anyone, they’re stuck speaking exclusively in irken for the foreseeable future, the empire is searching for them and they’re stuck in empire space, which is one big surveillance state that will have little issue finding them.

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can people counterfit monies. how does that work lol is it all saved digitally?

Monies are exclusively used by the irken empire and it’s all saved digitally in the control brain’s database. An irken’s PAK can work as a portable monie transfer device and automatically converts monies into whatever currency that part of the galaxy uses.

I accidentally wrote the rest of my headcanons in the tags. It’s too late at night for me to be doing this.