#Or if he is cuddling his vampire spawn boyfriend

[caffinedragon]

Silent Intimidation

A blurb inspired by the "you look like a third son" convo between Gale and Minthara.

TL;DR: Taking place after Minthara's rescue, R'yleh (durge) and crew are making their way back to camp in an exhausted but peaceful and contented silence when Minthara decides to break it with the "you look like a third son" conversation.

Not liking his peaceful and contented hand holding session with Astarion being disrupted by her insulting his favorite gabby wizard, he decides to remind the newcomer of whom-st she travels with and where she currently stands in the pecking order.

After letting Minthara have a glimpse into the Eldritch Horror side of his Great Old One+Bhaalspawn nature, he tells her what he is willing to do if she does that again, before starting to turn back to his hand holding session.

However Minthara makes a not so veiled threat about his food in Under common which causes him to reveal the reason why nobody touches his snacks at camp.

Full blurb under the cut.

The long and exhausting day R'yleh and his crew of traumatized misfits had, was finally coming to an end.

The eldritch horror bhaalspawn yawned like a cat, his abnormally long tongue rolling out over his teeth, as he walked down the road that led back to camp. His long black hair was tucked back behind one ear, revealing the many bone charms that hung from his chain cuff earring, each one a hand carved representation of his fellow tadpole suffers that he had the pleasure and honor of calling family.

The brisk wind that ran down the trail made his long pitch black fabric coat that covered his equally black but simple v-neck tunic, form fitting trousers and scuffed up leather working boots, flutter and snap in the breeze. His left hand was buried past the wrist in the pocket on the same side while his right causally kept pulling out bits of his custom trail snacks he had been munching on for the better part of an hour.

As his sapphire blue eyes casually scanned his surroundings he took note of his friends positions.

Karlach was on point, as per usual, softly humming some tune to herself only she knew as she occasional skipped or danced a little jig as she walked ahead. Astarion was walking next to him on his right, his red eyes staring off ahead of him but not quite seeing anything, an expression he had ever since they dealt with that blood obsessed drow in the tower who was very close to getting his glaive through their stomach. Gale had his nose buried in a book R'yleh had "borrowed" for him walking few steps behind Astarion and him, somehow still able to avoid every pot hole, puddle and stray root in a way only avid readers seem to manage. Behind him was their new member, the Paladin and Ex goblin leader Minthara, whom he took from the tower in order to pick her brain for clues to the Absolute plot he had built but whose details still eluded him.

To be honest, he hadn't cared for her much when they first met in the Goblin Camp and despite agreeing to take her on after apparently failing his attempt at killing her, his attitude towards her hadn't really changed that much. But, she could still hold some info that might trigger his lost memory and he had always wanted to get the insider's look at drow culture anyway so she was still of some use to him at present.

That didn't mean he trusted her of course, so he made sure to place his girls at the rear in case she tried anything.

Glancing back behind the marching and glowering woman, he saw his beloved girls Yuna and Luna, two displacer beats he was reunited with in the dungeon of the towers.

Yuna was the larger of the two, built like Karlach and just as strong, she was a war cat without equal. She was a stoic and protective creature who had saved his hide on more than one occasion and had taken quite the liking to Astarion, much to his surprise.

Luna was the smaller of the two, built wiry and agile like Astarion, she was the hunter, the one no one saw coming until her fangs were around their throats. She was a daddy's girl through and through who shared her father's more playful and eccentric nature and often stuck to him like glue unless she was given a task to complete.

Both of them dutifully brought up the rear, there advanced sight and hearing useful to keep any of the monsters and shadow creatures that hid in the dark from sneaking upon them.

The entire group walked in a peaceful but sleepy sort of silence as they leisurely walked down the trail that led to those sweet sweet bedrolls they were craving.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Astarion's eyes come back into focus again and glance up at him, a little bit of nervousness in his expression. R'yleh chose not to bring attention to it as he munched and walked, keeping his eyes scanning their surroundings just as much as his girls were.

After a couple of steps he saw Astarion slip around his back, discreet and quiet, and settle on his left side. His hand lifted up hesitantly a few times as if he wasn't sure what he was about to do would be well received. He patiently waited as he seemed to finally find whatever courage he was trying to gather and shyly rested his fingers on R'yleh's arm just above the part of his wrist that was still buried in the pocket of his coat.

He wasn't sure of what he was doing at first until the fingers started to slowly slide down. R'yleh smiled as he realized what he was doing, before removing his hand from his pocket and letting it hang at his side, his pale cream colored palm and black nailed fingers splayed open for easy access to the nervous vampire spawn.

Two steps later he felt his cool fingers lace through his own, the nerves that were plaguing his lover fading away as his hand wrapped around his.

Taking the time to swallow the morsel he had been consuming and wiping his mouth with his sleeve, he gently lifted up Astarion's hand and planted a soft kiss on his knuckles, earning him a soft and amused scoff from the smaller man.

Without missing a step he turned toward him and used his free hand to gentle hold his cheek, taking a few moments to gaze into his eyes and rub his thumb along his cheekbone before leaning down to give him a sweet and gentle kiss.

It only lasted a second or two since they were still walking but after he pulled away, he followed it up with one to his forehead before turning his eyes back to the road.

With a soft and contented sigh, Astarion snuggled into his side as he let go long enough to wrap his arm around his back before lacing their fingers back together again.

The peaceful silence fell back over the group again as R'yleh reveled in having the man that stole his heart smiling contentedly beneath his arm.

However, the soft moment only lasted a few minutes before the Paladin's deep raspy voice broke the calm.

A bit annoyed that his peace and quiet was disturbed for something that wasn't an immediate threat to their lives, he turned his ear slightly to hear what was so important.

His irritation began to turn into a cold rage as he realized she was not only disturbing his favorite chatty wizard from enjoying the book he so painstakingly stolen for him, but that she did it to straight up insult him and insinuate the man that could launch a fireball or turn a drider into a sheep was useless and worthless in her eyes.

And he could see that, despite the many times Astarion and Gale had butted heads in the past, that his rogue trickster wasn't to happy about her antics either.

So, with the silent communication style he had cultivated with the group exactly for days like today, he used his eyes to point in Karlach's direction before he silently let go of him and slowed his walking pace.

He waited until Gale made pace with him and silently asked him if he was okay with a tip of his head, seeing Gale's eyes dark and glazed as he clutched the book he had gotten to his chest like a child.

Gale glanced his way for only a second, but the anger and pain in his eyes was more than enough.

Without a word he nodded discreetly to the man before letting Gale out pace him.

Then, just as he got between him and Minthara, he snapped around and planted himself right in her path forcing her to stop in her tracks.

When she snapped her eyes up to look at him, he let his normally ever animated form go completely, unnaturally and unnervingly still. When he locked eyes with her, he let his face become cold, emotionless and alien in it's stillness, his eyes turning from deep ocean water, to darkest void as if his mother had replaced his eyes with pieces of the night sky. As he slowly tipped his head to the side, he used his hands to subtly open his coat just wide enough so she could see the four thick black tendrils that began sliding, twitching, and curling like an aboleth's tentacles out from his back.

Once he settled his unblinking gaze upon her, his towering form was no longer then eccentric chaos goblin warlock with more curiosity than sense she had met in the tower but the monstrous result of Bhaal crossing his bloodline with a Great Old One of who's essence he stole.

For several long breaths he stared her down, unflinching, unyielding, and unknowable. He watched her face go through several stages of emotion starting with annoyance and entitled anger that shifted slowly and subtly to surprise, confusion, and then barely concealed terror.

Once he could hear her heart begin to race and taster her fear upon the air he used his own telepathic form of communication to all but dominate her mind.

The voice that echoed into Minthara's was R'yleh voice, layered with the voices of everyone in their little band of inflicted, all talking at once in a cold and indifferent monotone like an Elder Brain of an Illithid colony.

"From now on, keep your degrading and insulting comments to yourself. If you do it again, we will roast your body on a spit and feed the left overs to my children."

As if on cue, Yuna and Luna appeared, growling low and threatening as they came around Minthara's sides, situating themselves so there was no escape.

"Are we understood?"

He watched as she opened her mouth to say something but was silenced when R'yleh smiled viciously, revealing newly formed teeth as sharp as a sharks.

"Are we understood, child of Loth?"

He saw her discreetly hide her shaking hands under her cloak before she begrudgingly nodded.

"Good. We trust there will be no further problems."

R'yleh then blinked, and as if it had never happened, was back to his ever animated, blue eyed, chaos goblin self.

After a groan and a stretch he started to turn on his heel to get back to his cozy cuddle walk session with Astarion when he heard her grumble in Undercommon under her breath in his direction.

"You better be careful what you eat from now on, Jaluk."

R'yleh could tell that she was under the belief that their little group wouldn't be able to understand her by the way she said it and he couldn't help but let out a short laugh.

She looked at him with that entitled annoyance again so he reached into his pocket and pulled out his special snacking bag. With a smirk he opened the bag wide enough that when he tipped the opening towards her, she would easily be able to see what was inside.

When she realized that what was in it was a mix of several highly poisonous and or deadly variants of mushrooms, berries and various not so poisonous edible plants, she let slip an expression that was part indignant anger and part fearful respect.

And then, just to put on a bit of a show, he plucked out a bit of the mushroom that was used to make drow poison specifically, popped into his mouth and ate it without so much as flinching.

Once he swallowed it with no ill effects he popped the bag back into his pocket, stuck his tongue out to blow a raspberry at her, and then walked back to Astarion, making a short stop to give Gale a quick hug as he passed him.

The rest of the walk back was just as peaceful and quiet as always.

[the-case-book-of-fanfiction]

The Golden Elf

Love Bites, Chapter 4 // Love Bites {Masterlist}

Ship: Astarion Ancunin x fem!vampire spawn!elf!Tav/reader

Summary: Sometimes, vampires choose their spawn specifically. Sometimes, they're in the wrong place at the wrong time and are lost to their loved ones for centuries. These days, that's all you can think about.

Word Count: 9,769 words

Warnings: 18+, smut & fluff, flashback within a flashback, past perspective, established relationship, Astarion pre-vampirism, Astarion's parents, the ruling, slice of life, direct mention of Astarion's death, you being deeply in love with Astarion, cuddling, sappy relationship, family dynamics, appreciating Astarion,

18+ Warnings: explicit smut, multiple instances of smut, unprotected sex, soft sex, slow & gentle sex, consensual, love making, fingering, vaginal sex, pull-out, aftercare, dirty talk, touching over clothes, mirror sex, multiple creampies, riding, oral (m receiving), changing positions, rough sex, consent check-ins, cockwarming

Note: This is a long chapter, possibly the longest in this whole series, and it's mostly smut. Have fun!

☟ Continue below the fold ☟

Morning dawned brightly in your bedroom—almost too brightly, which was explained by the curtains still being open from last night’s adventure to the roof with your boyfriend. 

You squeezed your eyes shut again and rolled over in bed, burying your face in his chest. “You left the curtains open, you dolt,” you complained into his chest. 

Astarion chuckled, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head. “Good morning, darling. Nice to see you, too.”

To make up for your sour attitude, you moved to quickly peck his lips, then hid your face in his chest again. “Morning.”

“Oh, come on, darling. Can’t I get a better good morning kiss?”

You grumbled and shook your head. “Not yet. I’m not awake yet.”

“Fair enough.” He squeezed you tightly, rolling to lay you on top of him. He kissed the top of your head. “Sleep well?”

“I did. Until I was rudely awoken by the sun,” you added. 

“The sun is beautiful and wants to say hello to a very beautiful woman,” he teased. “That’s you, by the way.”

You grabbed your pillow and whacked him softly on the head with it. “It’s too early for this, Astarion.”

“Nonsense! It’s never too early for me to lavish my lady love with praise.” He kissed your temple. “Come on, darling, can’t I see that pretty face?”

At last, you raised your head and looked up at your boyfriend. Despite your bedhead and morning grumpy attitude and your squinty eyes, his handsome face broke into a smile at the sight of you. 

“There she is,” he cooed, cupping your chin and kissing your forehead softly. You hummed happily, leaning into his touch, and then put your head back down on his chest. “Still sleepy?”

You nodded. “Mhm. And you’re very comfortable… I could go back to sleep on you like this.”

Astarion’s body was warm beneath you, his skin soft and his body that wonderful in-between of muscle and soft flesh. His arms wrapped around you are more comfortable than the blanket draped over the two of you, the only thing keeping the two of you from giving your neighbors across the street (who were known to be quite nosey) an eyeful of two naked elves. 

“Oh, really? How about I…wake you up, then, darling?” he suggested, grinning cheekily and winking when you looked up at him. The only trace of the shy boy who’d nervously asked to make love to you for the first time so long ago was in the pale blush on his pretty cheeks, a much lighter shade than the flush you’d seen that first night.

With your words slurring together, you mumbled, “You have to go to work, Asty.” Still, you clung to him, not quite ready to let him go yet.

“Nuh uh,” he said, nuzzling his nose into your hair. “It’s still early—almost two hours early. We can have a little fun, go back to sleep, and I can still be perfectly on time.”

“Two hours? We woke up two hours earlier than normal because you left the curtains open? No wonder I’m not awake enough yet.”

“Almost two hours, not quite,” he said. He rubbed your back, his hand drifting toward your ass and squeezing. “What do you say, darling?”

You harrumphed. “Not until you close that curtain, dingus.”

“What, you don’t want the whole street to see how much pleasure I can give you? You’re no fun, dearest.”

You scoffed. “Oh, yes, because that’s exactly what Baldur’s Gate needs—to see one of its top magistrates banging his girlfriend in all the nasty ways she likes at five in the morning.”

“Fiancée, darling,” he corrected. “How long is it going to take you to remember that? Did I not make my proposal memorable enough?” He pouted playfully.

You giggled. “You did, believe me,” you insisted. “I just like hearing you say it.”

Astarion beamed. “Oh, really?”

You nodded. “Now go close those curtains, honey.”

He laughed as he stood up. “So now she wants sex.”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do,” you said. “I can’t help it, I have a wonderful man in bed with me.”

You watched as he closed the curtain, the muscles in his shoulders and upper back flexing beneath the skin. For a man living a mostly sedentary life, he certainly kept in remarkably good shape.

Astarion turned back to you, the curtain closed behind him, a very pale light filling the room so that you could still see his face. “Happy now?”

The look on his face alone made you kick off the blankets and beckon him back to bed. “Very happy. Come here, you. Come kiss me.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice. Astarion crawled on top of you and slid his arms underneath you, kissing you heartily. You smiled into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. You let one hand drift over the shell of his sensitive ear and his entire body shuddered.

“Two can play at that game,” he warned, returning the favor. Pleasure shot through you and you sighed softly, arching to press your body against his. 

“Gods, Astarion,” you whispered. “Keep—keep doing that.”

He kept touching your ear as he moved down your body, kissing down your neck and collarbones, stopping at your breasts and paying special attention to one while gently squeezing the other in his free hand. Between kisses and sucking, he asked you, “Did I hear you say you wanted it nasty earlier?”

You rolled your eyes. “I was exaggerating.”

He looked up at you. “Do you want it nasty though?”

You shook your head. “Soft and sweet, please.”

Astarion smiled. “Thought so. It’s a bit too early to be rough with you, huh?”

“Mhm,” you agreed, smiling as he went back to sucking on your nipples. “Feels good, Asty…”

He took his hand away from your ear and instead brought it between your legs. “Can I touch you, darling?”

“Please do,” you whispered to him. “I want it.”

Astarion smiled against your skin and slid two fingers along your entrance. You spread your legs more for him and sighed contentedly. He kissed your stomach softly as he rubbed slow circles around your clit. You moaned softly. 

“Just like that, honey,” you breathed. But after a few moments, you bucked your hips against his hand. He knew exactly what you wanted and slipped two fingers inside you. He curled them at the knuckle and you keened, muffling your sounds in his shoulder. 

“That’s it, darling,” he breathed. “That’s it. As soon as we have our own place, you can be as loud as you want, but not yet.”

His fingers moved deftly inside of you, quickly working you up. He rubbed them against the soft, sensitive places of your walls while his thumb circled your clit. He pressed his soft lips to yours for every curl of his fingers. 

For some reason, you were particularly sensitive this morning; it didn’t take long before your body was twitching and spasming and your legs were beginning to shake.

“Close already?” he asked. You nodded. “Mind if I replace my fingers with my cock, then? I know it’s faster than normal, but I want to feel you cum around me.”

You nodded once again. “Please, honey…”

He pulled his fingers out of you and licked them clean. Your eyes remained glued to his face, so you didn’t see him push in, but you did see his face scrunch up in pleasure and you felt the delicious stretch of your body trying to accommodate him. For a moment, it was a struggle and you whimpered quietly. He kissed you softly.

“Are you alright?” he asked. “Can I keep going?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

“Alright. Good girl. That’s it, take my cock, darling.” He pushed all the way in and stayed there, holding you close to him for a moment, pressing his forehead against yours. “Tell me when I can move, and stop me if it hurts.”

You kissed him gently. His lips were a balm to any discomfort you felt in your nether regions, though there was hardly any of that anyway. “I’m ready now, Asty. You can move.”

“Tell me if it hurts,” he said again and kissed your forehead before he started to thrust gently and slowly.

Your head fell back against the pillows and you arched your back, pushing your body against him. He chuckled, bending to kiss along the column of your neck. 

“Feeling okay?” he asked, his tone teasing; he knew perfectly well you felt okay.

“Uh huh,” you mumbled, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he moved deeper. “Feels good… You’re— You feel good, honey.” 

“Oh, do I?” he joked, punctuating his words with a languid roll of his hips. You moaned, wrapping your legs around his hips. You pushed his head down to yours and kissed him heartily.

For a few moments, there was nothing but the sounds of your heavy breathing in the room, the slide of bodies against silk sheets, and your ceaseless kissing. He was moving so slowly that the sound of skin on skin was slight.

Into your mouth, he murmured, “You feel so good around my cock, darling… So tight and wet, like I’ve been working you up for hours… Did you, perhaps, have a pleasant dream about me?”

“I’m always having pleasant dreams about you, though not always the kind you’re suggesting,” you replied, smiling cheekily at him. He raised an eyebrow and you continued, “Dreams of our future together, dearest, and how much I love you—not just of how good you fuck me.”

He grinned. “Oh, you little minx! How I love you.”

Astarion reached down and began to rub your clit just the way you liked, thrusting a little harder, kissing you with a bit more force. You moaned happily into his mouth and he giggled. Gods, how you loved that little giggle.

He pulled away from you and brushed your hair off your face. He cupped your cheek, smiling down at you.

“You’re so beautiful, darling,” he whispered.

“So are you,” you told him. “You look like a god right now.”

It was true; his curls framed his face beautifully, glowing a soft silver at the ends, his honey eyes dark in this lighting. His cheeks were a pretty shade of pink with exertion, his lips parted, his gaze more than a little blissful. 

A mix of embarrassment and pride flooded his features. “Oh, darling, don’t flatter me…”

“I mean it,” you promised, cupping his cheek. He leaned into your touch. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Thank you, darling,” he breathed, pressing his forehead to yours. You leaned up to kiss him again, your hand sliding from his shoulders and down the planes of his back. You adjusted your legs to hold onto him tighter. 

His thrusts grew harder and more punctuated. The head of his cock kissed your walls with every thrust. You let out small, barely contained whimpers with every thrust. He stopped kissing your mouth and nudged your chin up with his nose. He began kissing your neck, leaving delicate hickeys behind.

“A little louder, sweetheart,” he breathed. “I want to hear you a little more.”

“But your parents—”

“Are in a room downstairs. They can’t hear us. And if they do…well, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Astarion’s fingers sped up on your clit, giving you no choice but to moan for him. You panted his name, digging your fingers into his curls. He smiled against your skin, his movements quickening. 

You were clenching around him in no time. “Asty— Asty, I’m almost—”

“I know, darling, I know,” he cooed. “Let go for me. I’ve got you, just let go… I’ll be there with you soon.”

Comforted by his words and his hold on you, you relaxed and leaned your head into his shoulder. A few more gentle thrusts and a few more swipes of his thumb on your clit and your walls were trembling around him. You finished around him, moaning quietly into his neck, far more subdued than normal but enjoying yourself nonetheless. 

“That’s it, good girl,” he breathed. “You did so well, darling. Mind if I finish up?”

“Please do,” you whispered, kissing his cheek. 

His moan of relief was closer to a whimper. “Thank you, my sweet…”

One, two, three more thrusts and he was pulling out of you, spilling himself on your stomach. His jaw dropped open, his eyes squeezed shut, his chest heaved. He moaned softly as he came, silencing himself by kissing you heartily. He collapsed onto you the moment he was finished. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him close to you as the two of you tried to catch your breath together.

“Was that good?” Astarion asked after a few moments, once again that shy, nervous boy seeking your approval. “You were quieter than normal.”

“It was a soft, quiet kind of morning,” you said, kissing his forehead. “You were perfect, Asty. I loved it. Every second of it. Did you?”

“Mhm,” Astarion said with a grin. “You always feel so amazing.”

You brushed your fingers through his curls. “I’m glad you liked it. I think…I think we need to have soft sex like that more often. It was quite nice, and we only ever do it in the morning.”

He glanced down at your body, at your abdomen still covered in his cum. “Here, let me clean you up.”

You watched him get up and disappear into the adjoining washroom. He came back a few moments later with a cloth soaked in warm water. You watched him cross to you, your eyes soaking up his lean figure and long, skilled fingers. 

“What’s that look for?” he asked, crawling back onto the bed and beginning to wipe down your stomach.

“Oh, nothing, I’m just admiring the love of my life,” you told him. He paused in his cleaning to kiss your lips. 

“I love you,” he whispered to you, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

“And I love you,” you returned, smiling softly at him.

He sat between your legs, gently wiping your folds and your entrance. You relaxed, humming softly, as he worked. When he was finished, he laid down next to you.

“Gimme that,” you mumbled, grabbing the cloth from him. You wiped him down also, cleaning his own release off of his abdomen from when he collapsed on you and your combined releases from his length and hips. 

“Thank you, darling,” he said when you were finished. You tossed the cloth to the floor, a problem for an hour from now, when you actually got up. He beckoned you back into his arms and you happily laid in his embrace. He stroked your hair and kissed the top of your head, hugging you to his chest, your legs twining together. 

Several peaceful moments passed, your mind stuck on the image of his cock dripping onto your stomach, twitching against you as he finished. At last, you said, “Astarion?”

“Yes, dear?” he mumbled into your hair, a few moments away from sleep.

“Later tonight…I want you to cum inside me.”

He jolted awake faster than you had ever seen. “You want me to what?”

Heat flushed through your body and your embarrassment rushed to your cheeks. “Only if you want to, but I…I think it might be nice. And we’ve waited long enough for it.”

Astarion tilted your head up with two fingers under your chin. His eyes were dark with desire again. “I understand your reasoning for it, darling, but I desperately want you to say it again.”

Excitement fluttered through you. “Tonight, when we have sex, I want you to cum inside me.”

A whimper escaped his lips. “Oh, gods above… Darling, you’re— Yes, absolutely, I— Yes!” He cupped your face and kissed you softly. “Oh, sweetheart… Gods, I can’t wait!”

You smiled. “You’re going to have to, honey, we have to get up soon and I would like my next hour of sleep back.”

He huffed. “Oh, yes, yes, I know. But tonight…you’ll let me?”

You nodded. “Absolutely. You’ll have something to look forward to all day.”

Astarion groaned. “If I get hard in court, this is your fault.”

You laughed. “You better not be thinking about fucking me in court, Asty, I think that would count as negligence.”

He frowned. “How so?”

“Because when you think about fucking me, you can’t focus on anything else. Believe me, I’ve seen the look in your eyes, I know when your brain’s elsewhere.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, hush. Just lay with me instead of teasing me. I want to hold you.”

Smiling, you snuggled into his arms. “Alright, alright. Let’s go back to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning, honey.”

Astarion kissed the top of your head, humming his agreement. He let you snuggle into him and get comfortable before he rested his head atop yours and began rubbing soothing circles into your back. You drifted off, warm and happy in his arms.

~❊~

A brief knock on the front door announced Astarion’s arrival before he himself walked in, shaking rainwater from his coat and hair and carrying a paper bag with the corks of two wine bottles sticking out of it. 

“Hello, hello!” he called, not realizing you and his mother stood together in the kitchen, in the middle of making dinner. “It’s raining something awful out there— Oh! Hi, Ma.” He hung up his coat and joined you in the kitchen, kissing his mother’s cheek. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and kissed your temple softly. “Is Dad home yet?”

“Not yet,” Selwynn replied.

“How was work, hun?” you asked, turning your face to return the kiss. 

His face darkened briefly. “That’s a conversation for when my father’s present,” he told you and you knew instantly something hadn’t gone well. The more you studied him, the more exhausted he looked. 

“Are you alright, though?” you asked.

Astarion shrugged. “I’m alright.” He kissed you again and the softness of it alleviated your worries, but only a little.

From behind both of you, Selwynn tousled his hair. “Go wash up, darling, dinner’s almost ready. Your sweetheart will be waiting for you when you get back, I promise.”

You blushed and he rolled his eyes. No matter how many years you had spent with the Ancunin family, acknowledgement of your relationship with Astarion always brought heat to your cheeks, just as it had when you were kids and in denial about liking each other. 

Astarion left the kitchen and you helped his mother set up the dining table. Halfway through, his father, Thesan, came in—also complaining about the rain.

“Like father, like son,” Astarion’s mother whispered to you before going to greet her husband. You watched with a smile; with their greeting hugs and forehead kisses and the respect they held for each other, it was their marriage you and Astarion strove to emulate.

Astarion surprised you with his arms around your waist again and a gentle kiss to the nape of your neck. “Smells amazing, darling,” he whispered to you. He peppered kisses down your neck and to your shoulder.

You giggled. “Keep that up and you’re going to wipe away the makeup I put on to hide all the hickeys you left on me this morning!”

“Ah, so that’s what’s missing! I knew something looked different,” he teased. He kissed your lips softly. 

“Behave yourself,” you reminded him, only half-teasing. 

Astarion greeted his father as the four of you sat down around the table. You passed dishes back and forth, serving yourselves, while Astarion’s father talked about his day and the rulings he’d made. Astarion tensed when he asked how his day at court had been. He took his time responding.

“Contentious,” Astarion finally decided. “There’s a group of Gur who aren��t too pleased with a ruling I made today.”

Thesan raised an eyebrow. “A ruling? What about?”

“Trade regulations,” Astarion said idly, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. There has been worse backlash over bigger problems than not being able to sell the teeth of vampires they’ve caught and brutally murdered.”

His father nodded. “The Gur can be a nasty sort, anyway,” he said, “and quite vicious.”

You pursed your lips. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t mean going against the Gur’s, I don’t know, is monster hunting a lifestyle? Doesn’t matter—ruling against them in this capacity, doesn’t that technically mean…the ruling protects vampires?”

“Not at all, darling,” Astarion assured you. “It doesn’t prevent them from hunting vampires, just from selling their teeth. Talk amongst my coworkers suggests there’s someone of high standing who wasn’t too pleased to find a necklace of vampire fangs in for sale by a Gur vendor.”

Thesan raised his brows. “So is this a ruling made by, or in honor of…pressures from, ah, on high?”

Both you and Selwynn tensed. The word bribery was never used by the two men, but it didn’t take much to deduce they’d both taken bribes for certain rulings before. It made your gut twist unhappily; Thesan could do what he wished, but you had hoped Astarion would avoid following in his father’s slowly corrupting footsteps. 

“Not exactly,” Astarion said, his tone too light to be completely honest, which was all you needed for confirmation. “I’m not lining my pockets by making this decision, that is. But I’d rather there not be vampire teeth on the market, especially if it can put the rest of us in danger.”

You cast your eyes back to your plate. You could hear the tone in Astarion’s voice, the one that suggested he didn’t really believe what he was saying, only rationalizing it. You loved the man, but, gods, how you hated how easily swayed he was. 

“Anyway, that’s beside the point—but no, the ruling doesn’t benefit the vampires in any way. Vampires aren’t even mentioned aside from the teeth!” Astarion added with a little laugh. “The Gur are angry because they believe it benefits the nobility. But it’s really neither here nor there, I think.”

Thesan was nodding his understanding. “Likely because there are no similar restrictions on the nobility.”

Astarion shrugged. “I think all we need to do is provide that restriction to calm the waters a little. Fair is fair?”

“Now, be careful with that, son,” Thesan said. “Nobility don’t take kindly to being told what they can and cannot do.”

You looked up sharply. “But won’t letting them do whatever they wish lead to—to outright lawlessness? It starts small, then works its way up to egregious crimes, all in the name of ‘an eye for an eye’?”

His father inclined his head to you with a small laugh, much deeper than Astarion’s. If it weren’t for the eyes they shared, the similar way they held themselves, and the fact that Astarion’s voice sounded just like his father’s when he got angry, you would question whether or not they were really related. “Quite the quick thinker you are, dear. Perhaps it would, though I doubt it. Most nobility would rather trade in bribes, political threats, and lies than get their hands dirty.”

You frowned. “Yet the Gur trade in death threats. They aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. Why not cater to them? They pose a bigger threat!”

“Darling, nobles are quite dangerous, even if they don’t seem that way,” Astarion said, reaching a hand out to you and a nervous glance to his father. Clearly, he could also sense the argument that was about to happen. 

“The Gur are dubious, deceitful, morally inept vagrants,” Thesan replied, his tone stonier than before. “Nobility are predictable; Gur are not. We know how the nobility will respond, but the Gur are a wild card. It’s best to stick to what you know.”

“So you’d trust the knife you can see versus the one hiding in the shadows? Even though the one in the shadows has the advantage?” you pressed, a mix of confusion and anger welling up inside of you. Astarion winced. 

Thesan was clearly fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “You’re assuming one has to be trusted,” he said. “But neither should be. All a magistrate should trust is himself.”

You sighed, putting down your fork. “I’m sorry, Thesan, but it really doesn’t seem that way. It— Forgive me, but it seems like you’d rather trust the corrupt, and the known corrupt, at that, rather than take a chance on people who are…brutally honest.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you insinuating that I—”

“Father,” Astarion cut in, his voice sharp. “She’s not insinuating anything. She’s making clear what her perspective is.”

“I don’t need her perspective, I’ve been a magistrate—”

“Well I value it!” Astarion snapped. He clenched his jaw and, calmer, continued, “I value her opinions on everything and have asked her to share them. I find it helps me make informed decisions—ones not mandated by our coworkers and higher ups.” 

Miffed, Thesan snapped, “I hardly need the input of children, Astarion! You may ask for her opinion, but I have no need for it and I will not be told how to do my job by—”

“That’s enough!” Selwynn said suddenly, loudly, smacking one hand on the table. You all jumped. “Neither of you are at work. This is a family dinner. Thesan, they may be young, but they are wise. We will listen to them without belittling them. And both of you are reasonable men who can solve things without shouting at each other—and ought to do it anywhere but my dinner table! As for you, my dear, you would do well to remember that Astarion and Thesan are not the same man, and while my son will take advice, my husband will not.”

You bowed your head to her. “Yes, Selwynn. I’m sorry.”

Astarion’s cheeks and ears were pink. He looked like a scolded child. “I’m sorry, Ma,” he said quietly. Selwynn took his hand and squeezed, then kissed the top of his head.

Thesan got out of his chair and went around to his wife, kissing her cheek. “My apologies, my love. My temper got the best of me.” He looked at you beside her. “I’m sorry, dear, I shouldn’t have dismissed you so easily. I will think on what you’ve said.”

You inclined your head in thanks. 

As Thesan returned to his seat, Selwynn cleared her throat and turned to you. “So! Tell me, my dear, how has your work at the tavern been going?”

Relieved the topic had turned to something far less contentious, your shoulders relaxed and you found yourself smiling. “Much the same as always—the same regulars with mostly the same problems. Kit’s finally getting a divorce but she’s terribly upset about it because she’s afraid her husband’s going to get the house. Lianon broke his foot and is convinced the only painkiller he needs to take is alcohol. Oh, I almost forgot! Tivi was asking after you, she wants to know how your newest sewing project is going. I said I’d ask, but I didn’t tell her you’re sewing my wedding veil, I knew she’d start screeching and we were quite crowded.”

Selwynn beamed. “Oh, it’s going quite well! I’m just finishing up on the trim—a string of lilies going around the edge, to match the ones in your crowns and on the tables. I must show you after dinner.”

Astarion raised an eyebrow. “Am I allowed to see it, or must I wait until the big day?”

“You can see the veil, just not the dress, and especially not on me,” you teased.

“Are you still working as the barkeep?” Thesan asked, rejoining you all at the table. “I’m surprised you haven’t managed to swoop the whole business out from Barnabas’ feet, now that he’s getting up there in age.”

You bit back a grin. “Actually, he offered it to me. They want me to become the tavernkeeper once he retires.”

Astarion looked up. “You didn’t tell me that!”

“I only found out today,” you said apologetically.

“Do you want to take it?” he asked, biting his lip.

You shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure.”

“It would be a wonderful opportunity,” Thesan said. “Taverns are excellent moneymakers, even in a city like Baldur’s Gate, where there’s plenty of them. If you run it right, you could make it the best one around.”

You glanced at Astarion. He nodded encouragingly. “Well…Astarion and I have been talking, and… I’ve been considering leaving the tavern after we get married.”

Thesan propped himself up on his elbows. Selwynn shot him a look and he put his hands back in his lap. “Are you looking for something that might be more…sustainable, long-term? Or perhaps a higher wage?”

“Possibly?” you said. “I’m not exactly sure of the details yet—how long I’d stay at the tavern after we get married, for instance—but I think…” Astarion nodded again. “I think mostly I want to leave for better hours. It’s difficult enough when Astarion works in the day and I mostly in the evening as it is now, even with days like today when the other barkeep is working, but it absolutely won’t be manageable once we—” You licked your lips. “Once we have children.”

Selwynn gasped. “Are you expecting?”

“What? No!” You blushed profusely, glancing up at Astarion, and wondered how many times his parents had overheard you making love. “No, not yet. But we’ve been talking about it, and we want to start a family.”

Selwynn shrieked with joy. “Oh, that’s wonderful news! May the gods bless you with a babe, when the time is right for it.”

Thesan clapped Astarion on the back. “Congratulations, my son!”

Astarion blushed. “She’s not pregnant yet, Dad, wait until after the wedding!”

“You’ll tell us?” Selwynn asked. “When you are with child?”

You nodded. “As soon as we know for certain. But Astarion’s right—we won’t be trying until after we’re married.”

“Don’t be too discouraged if it takes a while, dearie, it took us almost a hundred years to conceive Astarion, and we were trying quite diligently,” Selwynn said, patting her son’s shoulder. He looked slightly mortified to learn this about his parents’ sex life. “The gods are careful with which elven soul they will give you to nurture.”

You finished dinner quickly and each of you helped clean up the mess of the meal until you told Selwynn and Thesan to sit down, and you and Astarion did the rest together. 

“They took it well,” Astarion murmured in your ear. 

“Of course they did, they want to be grandparents. Though I’m surprised they already want that this early—you’re only thirty-nine, you’re still technically their baby.”

Astarion sighed. “My mother misses holding an infant.” 

The two of you lapsed into comfortable silence, you washing dishes and Astarion taking them from you to dry them. Eventually, he restarted the conversation by kissing your head.

“Darling?”

“Hmm?”

“What you…what you told me this morning…” He hesitated, blushing like a teenager again. “Are you trying to get a headstart on having our family?”

You smiled. “Oh, goodness, no. I very much doubt we’ll get that lucky, and I’m quite certain I’m not ovulating. It won’t happen this time.”

“You’re ‘quite certain’ you’re not?” he asked. “How long have you been tracking it?”

“Several months now. I’ve been…wanting to tell you to—” You lowered your voice, even though you were already speaking at a low volume. “—finish inside me for quite a while, but I didn’t want to risk getting pregnant before our wedding. But I know that won’t happen tonight.”

Astarion kissed your cheek. “Have I told you you’re perfect?”

“Nearly every day, honey,” you laughed, leaning into him. 

“That simply will not do—I must tell you twice a day how perfect you are, darling!”

You giggled. “Careful, Asty, I might start to believe it.”

He lifted your head with two fingers under your chin, a warm smile in his eyes. Leaning in for a sweet kiss, he whispered, “I certainly hope you do.”

~❊~

The evening went on with talk of your wedding plans and the presentation of your unfinished veil over a couple of glasses of the wine Astarion had brought home. His parents retired to bed first while you and Astarion remained sitting in front of the hearth, sharing a comfortably padded lounge chair, the fire’s warmth making you sleepy in his arms and the orange glow turning him into a sun god. 

Astarion lazily swirled his wine in his glass. “Do you want to go upstairs?” he asked. You gave a noncommittal hum. “As much as I love it when you fall asleep in my arms, sleeping in this chair, though cozy, will do our backs no favors.”

You slowly extricated yourself from his arms. “Oh, alright. Upstairs, then.” You stood up and stretched. He finished the last of his wine and you both picked up the glasses and recorked the bottles. With that taken care of, you held out your hand for him and walked up the stairs together. 

While you washed and dressed for bed in the washroom together, you asked him, “Do you want to go out on the roof tonight?”

“There’s a chill in the air, and you’re wearing a short silk slip,” he said, sliding his hand up your inner thigh for emphasis. “You’ll freeze to death. Besides…” He leaned closer to your ear and squeezed your thigh. “There are better things for us to be doing.” His fingers found the gusset of your panties and he tsked. “You won’t be needing these tonight, darling.”

You leaned into his chest as his fingers kept stroking your covered slit. “Honey… Let…” You swallowed harshly. “Let me finish washing up first.”

He kissed the shell of your ear. You bit back a whimper. “I’m just going to make you dirty again, darling… Sweaty and slick and filled with me, in every way possible.” He began nibbling on the lobe of your ear. 

“Asty,” you mumbled, craning your head up and pulling his mouth down to yours, your back to his chest. You spread your legs, letting him cup your clothed mound in his hand. He kissed you hungrily, moving his hand from your thigh to your ass. He squeezed gently and gave you a light smack before holding you around the waist.

“Look at us in the mirror,” he murmured into your lips. You glanced into the mirror and found him already staring at your beautifully twisted body. You whimpered instantly, seeing the appeal. Your back was pressed to his bare chest, the hand cupping you from behind visible against the dusty blue silk, your back arching slightly off of him and pushing your tits forward, your hard nipples poking through the fabric, color flushing both of your faces, his plump lower lip still between yours. He whispered, “You’re so beautiful when you’re desperate for me, my love.”

“I’m not desperate yet, hun,” you whispered.

He chuckled. “The pink on those ears says otherwise, darling.” He traced your ear again.

You moaned and pushed your lips firmly against his, your tongues sliding together. He brought his hand up from his waist and squeezed one of your tits. You whimpered into his mouth and he grinned. He kneaded your breast over your slip and began stroking you through your panties again. Something about having him so close but not really touching you was making you crazy. You writhed against him, bucking your hips with need, moaning into his mouth.

“You’re so wet for me, so needy even through these panties,” he murmured. “You horny little thing…”

Astarion wasn’t keeping his composure, either. He panted into your mouth, his erection pressing into your back through his boxers. Every so often, his hips stuttered against yours; you knew it wasn’t intentional. He groaned into your mouth, finding your clit and stroking. You moaned happily, your body trembling in response.

“Oh, gods, darling—can I touch you? Can I really touch you?” he moaned. 

“Yes, please, fuck,” you whimpered.

Astarion moved quickly. He shoved your slip underneath your breasts, his hand gripping one and toying with your nipple. At the same time, he slid your panties to the side and stroked your slit with a single finger. You moaned in tandem. Astarion sunk a finger into you and began rubbing at your walls, pulling quiet whimpers from your lips. You threw your head back and he immediately began kissing his way down your neck and over your shoulder.

“That’s it, love,” he murmured against your skin, “just feel good for me… Just feel good and be beautiful. Look at you…”

The reverence in his voice made you glance in the mirror again and you understood his sudden attraction to the column of your neck. You leaned into him, sighing happily against his open-mouthed kisses. 

“Need you,” he murmured, nipping at your skin until fresh bruises began to appear, overlapping with the ones he’d sucked into your neck this morning. He tucked you against his body. “Need more of you.”

You turned in his arms, whining at the loss of his fingers inside of you but still enjoying the way he held you to his chest like you’d disappear if he let go of you. “You can have me, Asty.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Here? Against this mirror?” He pushed you against it, pushing your slip up to your waist. He rubbed his palm over your ass and gave you a soft, affectionate smack. “You do look rather gorgeous bent over the basin like this.”

You locked eyes with him in the mirror, holding yourself up on the marble basin’s rim. “You can take me however you’d like, honey. Just as long as you finish inside me.”

Astarion grinned at you through the mirror. “Oh, darling, I intend to.” He kissed your shoulder. “As many times as I can.”

You moaned and pushed your ass against his erection. “Asty, please!”

“Patience,” he cooed softly, but he still slipped one finger under the waistband of your panties. He slowly pulled them to the side again to expose your cunt to him. Cool air hit you and the string of arousal still connected to your panties. You shivered, whimpering slightly.

Astarion stepped away from you for a moment, admiring the mess you were making between your legs. “Gods, darling, you’re so fucking wet.”

“Just fuck me already,” you whined.

Through the mirror, you watched him scramble to yank his boxers down. As soon as his cock was free, he pushed the head against your entrance. He looked up at the mirror, watching your eyes roll back as he filled you. A soft moan escaped him as soon as he was fully seated inside of you. He bent over your back and kissed your pointed ear. 

“Does that feel good, darling?” he murmured. Your entire body shuddered beneath him, your walls clenching around him. He made a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a moan. “Guess it does.”

Astarion wrapped his arms around you and began thrusting slowly. He buried his head in your neck, moaning into you. You panted heavily, whimpering with every slow, deep thrust. You grabbed one of his hands and laced your fingers together, moving to meet his thrusts. 

“I love you like this, darling,” he murmured. “This position… You feel so tight around me.” He pressed soft kisses to your neck and shoulder. He met your gaze in the mirror and smiled at you, a sweet smile that made your heart melt. You turned just enough to kiss his cheek; he adjusted to catch your lips with his. He moaned into the kiss, one hand snaking up to grope your chest. You whined, pushing your breast into his hand and your ass into his pelvis. 

“Honey,” you moaned, the arms holding you up beginning to shake. 

He nibbled briefly on your ear. “Do you want more, my love?”

You whined and nodded. He let his other hand slip from your waist and to your clit. He began rubbing gently, adding pressure with every swipe. You moaned breathily, your legs beginning to tremble.

“Astarion,” you moaned, clinging to him. “I love you.”

He kissed the back of your neck. “I love you, too, darling.”

The words became a mantra falling out of your mouth, timed with every single one of his thrusts: “Love you love you love you love you love you love you love you!”

Astarion whispered into your ear, “You’re so close. Cum for me, darling. Cum on my cock. I’ll…I’ll follow you.”

You whined, surrendering to the feeling of his hand on your clit and his cock hitting all the right spots. With a few more thrusts, your moans grew louder, your breaths shorter, and your entire body shook as your walls clenched around his cock. You unraveled around him, crying his name loudly.

Astarion groaned and buried himself deep inside of you, biting his lower lip as he came inside of you, panting. He rubbed your clit until you cried out, overstimulated.

The two of you panted when your orgasms had run their course; he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly, both of you still bent over the basin. You locked eyes in the mirror.

“Are you alright?” he whispered. 

You nodded. “Are you?”

“I’m perfect,” he murmured, kissing the side of your neck. “Gods… You have no idea how good that felt, darling. Inside of you. Hells, I… I want to do it again.”

“I told you that you could,” you reminded him and he grinned.

“Bed?” he suggested. When you nodded, he pulled himself off of you and slowly pulled out. Your mixed releases slid down your legs and you groaned in surprise and discomfort. Your slip fell back into place as you stood straighter, your legs trembling even more. 

Astarion offered you his hand. “Come here, my love. Let me help you.”

You let him hold you up as the pair of you went to bed, already kissing and giggling again like teenagers. He gently laid you down in bed and crawled over you. He covered your neck and chest in kisses, once again tugging the neckline of your slip down to kiss your tits. He licked your nipple and then sucked on it gently, once again sliding his hand between your legs and rubbing his fingers along your soaked slit.

You curled your fingers into his hair, pulling him back up to you and kissing him heartily. “My turn,” you whispered into his mouth. You wrapped your legs around his hips and flipped the two of you. You straddled his thighs and pulled your slip off over your head.

Astarion grinned, putting his hands on your ribs. “Darling! Aren’t you gorgeous? I could get used to this view.”

You smiled, reaching down to pump his cock. He moaned. “This view belongs to you, Asty, don’t you forget that,” you said. “I’m all yours.”

His hands dropped to your hips as you lifted yourself up and shuffled forward, positioning yourself over his hard cock. He moaned happily as you sank down on him. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he threw his head back. 

You moaned, putting your hands on his shoulders to balance yourself. You began to bounce on him, letting him sink deeper every time you came back down until you were sitting on his pelvis. You began to roll your hips slowly and Astarion moaned loudly, his fingers gripping your hips so hard you knew there would be bruises come morning. 

“Oh, honey,” you moaned. “You feel…so damn good.”

He helped you ride him, guiding your hips with gentle hands. He twitched inside of you, his heaving breaths becoming soft, barely concealed whimpers. You smiled as you bounced on him and leaned back to give him a better view as he slid in and out of you.

“You look so beautiful with me inside of you, darling,” he moaned. He grazed his thumb over the bulge of him visible in your stomach. “Gods, look at that…”

“Honey,” you moaned. “Asty. Asty, I’m so damn close already!”

He chuckled. “I can feel it, my love, I can feel that pussy clenching around me. Just cum for me, I want it.”

You huffed in protest. “Not until you do.”

“Darling—”

“I’m taking care of you,” you insisted. “Let me do that for you, Asty. Cum for me, and I’ll cum for you.”

His face softened. “You’re perfect, you know,” he whispered, lifting his knees up to give you something to rest against as you bounced. He held your hip with one hand, then held your hand with the other. His eyelids fluttered, torn between wanting to close them and wanting to watch you, and he let himself relax against the bed.

You brought one hand from his shoulder to his cheek. You caressed his cheekbone softly. “You’re so beautiful, my love,” you murmured, the first of many sweet nothings to encourage him along. “You’re so pretty when you let yourself get lost in me, when you let the pleasure wash over you. Just do that for me, honey, just let go and take what you need from me. Relax here in bed with me, handsome. Finish up, I’ll be here when you’re ready. I’ll help you ride it out. I love you, more than anything in this world. I love you.”

Astarion threw his head back with a loud cry, his hips stuttering up into yours. He came hard, the warmth of him filling your cunt until he began to leak out of you. You sat on his pelvis and reached a hand down to your clit to finish yourself off. Despite his deliriousness and the tears sliding down his cheeks from the force of his orgasm, he slapped your hand away and put his own thumb to your clit until you convulsed on top of him and came on his cock.

The moment he could, he pulled you off of him and into his arms, wrapping you in a warm embrace and covering your entire upper body with kisses, murmuring an “I love you” between each one. You let yourself melt into his hold, cuddling into him and relaxing even more with every kiss. 

You eventually wriggled around until you were laying next to each other, still staring into each other’s eyes. You brushed your hand through his curls, putting them back into place with your fingers. 

“Hi,” you whispered. “Feel okay?”

He smiled at you. “Never better, darling. That was…amazing. Thank you for that.”

You kissed his cheek. “Well, I figured it had been a while since I’ve gone for a proper ride on you—it was long overdue, and I thought we’d both appreciate it.”

“You thought correctly,” he murmured. He tackled you in a tight, warm hug. You hummed happily, curling your arms around him and wrapping your legs into his until you were as close as you could get to becoming one. You slowly worked your fingers into his hair, scratching his scalp until he began to very nearly purr. He rubbed your back, occasionally pressing dainty kisses to your forehead, and you returned each kiss with one of your own. Eventually, he pulled back and asked, “Are you up for one more round?”

You grinned at him. “Absolutely, hun. I thought you might have more in you than you were letting on.”

He blushed like he hadn’t just cum inside you twice. “I could have gone without it if you didn’t want to!”

You giggle and drag your finger up the underside of his already semi-hard cock. His eyes rolled back into his head and his entire body shuddered. “Oh, really?” 

Astarion whined, the sound not quite human. His chest heaved. “Darling… Gods, that feels good.”

You kissed his nose. “Wanna know what else I haven’t done in a while?” You pushed your lips against his as he nodded, muffling his hum. Into his mouth, you murmured, “Sucked you off.”

Astarion groaned. You took advantage of his open mouth and pushed your tongue into his mouth. You rolled him onto his back again and crawled on top of him, never once breaking the wet, sloppy kiss. You wrapped your hand around his cock as you kissed him and pumped him idly, careful not to set a pace and let him get used to your touch. He whimpered into your mouth, his cock twitching into your hand every time you slid your hand up to his tip. Only when he was hard enough that you knew it was starting to be unbearable did you break the kiss. He whined but let you shimmy your way down his body until you sat between his spread legs.

“May I?” you asked, locking eyes with him as you settled, your face inches away from his leaking cock. You let yourself admire the view of his heaving chest, his entire body flushed with need, his dick red and angry and oh so tempting.

“Y-yes, please,” he whispered, gorgeous with his hair tousled from your hands, his ears pink, his lips kiss-bitten, and his pupils blown.

“Thank you, Asty,” you whispered, pressing your lips to the skin of his V-line. You kept kissing just around his cock, never quite reaching the base, until he twitched and pre-cum began to dribble down his length without you even touching him. Only then did you take mercy, licking him from the base up to his tip and taking his head into your mouth. He keened loudly, arching off the bed like he so often made you do. 

Seeing your lover get so lost in everything you were doing and enjoying every second of it made your entire body warm with joy and arousal. The wetness between your legs was obscene for having not been touched or teased for so long, but you weren’t surprised; Astarion enjoying himself was more than enough reason for you to be as excited as you were. His ecstasy was always so godsdamned beautiful—not unusual for an elf, of course, but you liked to think your fiancé was special in this aspect. 

You took him deeper, licking the underside of his cock as best as you could as his girth filled your mouth. He whined and bucked his hips involuntarily.

“S-sorry,” he moaned, throwing his arm over his eyes, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

You popped off of him for a moment and took his hand. “Don’t be sorry, my love. Take it. Take what you want. I’m here to give it to you, hun.”

He whined again and thrust his hips back up, simultaneously trying to wiggle closer to you. You giggled and took the hint, taking him back in your mouth and sucking. He stayed still for a few more moments, letting you please him, but then you felt his hand in your hair and you paused in your movements. He started to thrust slowly into your mouth, not deep or hard enough for you to choke but enough for you to really feel him in your throat. You moaned around him with every thrust until he became more frantic.

“Darling!” he cried. You glanced up to find silver tears on his flushed cheeks and pulled back, seeing the overstimulation on his face. “Please, my love, I need— I need to fuck you again. I need to be inside you.”

Without a second thought, you sat up and caught your breath from where you sat between his legs. He took a second before sitting up and pulling you on top of him. He pushed inside of you easily and chuckled breathlessly.

“Someone’s wet,” he teased. You didn’t have the energy in you to respond as he started thrusting. You went limp in his arms, collapsing onto his chest and focusing only on the feeling of him pumping in and out of you. He held you tight, both of you clinging to each other as you chased your releases.

Astarion adjusted his legs slightly, lifting himself up, and his cock hit just the right spot. You cried out and clenched around him, your hold on him tightening. He growled animalistically, pulled out of you, and flipped you onto your back. He folded one of your legs up and slid back inside of you.

You screamed so loud you were sure you had woken his parents—and perhaps the entire neighborhood—as he began pounding into you relentlessly. You could already tell you were going to struggle with walking tomorrow. 

Between pants, he asked, “Are you okay? Is this okay?”

You were out of breath to even attempt to speak, but you nodded and brought him close enough to kiss you. He took control of the kiss almost immediately, possessing you in every way he could: his cock in your cunt, his tongue in your mouth, his hand gripping your calf. You gave into him, letting him take you, relaxing against the mattress and trusting him with your body. 

Astarion took care of you, going only as rough as your body could take at this moment, taking his pleasure but granting you yours simultaneously. Your orgasm swept through you with a vengeance, powerful and hard. You arched your back, screaming as much of his name as you could get out before you ran out of breath, your fingernails digging into his back. Astarion let out a high moan as he followed you before you could ride out the rest of your orgasm. The two of you grabbed at each other, clinging desperately, panting and moaning and crying with pleasure. You felt tears on your cheeks and you honestly weren’t sure if they were yours or Astarion’s. 

At last, you came down from your high. You watched him in awe as he finished his, slowly and gently thrusting into you until he was spent. He gently lowered himself on top of you and buried his face in your neck. You laid there, panting, struggling to form thoughts.

“Holy shit,” he muttered into your skin and you chuckled. Your arm shook as you brought your hand to the back of his hand and soothed him with a hand in his curls. 

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Holy shit.”

He looked up. There was a glassy look in his eyes. “Are you…are you okay? Did I go too hard? Was that too much?”

“I’m fine, hun. You were perfect. Gods, that was…” You whistled, unable to pick a word from your dazed mind to describe what you were feeling. 

Astarion giggled. “Yeah… It was.” He snuggled back against your chest, then asked in a whisper, “Can I stay inside you tonight?”

You raised a brow. “Do you want to?”

He shrugged. “If you’ll let me…yes.”

You kissed his forehead. “Sure. Let’s try it, see if we like it.”

Astarion perked up immediately. “Really?”

“Yes, why not? Here—pull out and let’s get cleaned up, then you can spoon me and go back inside, okay?”

He nodded quickly. You cleaned each other in the washroom, Astarion holding you up to keep you from falling on weak knees. He stole kisses as you washed each other and then tucked you back into bed.

“Do you want your slip?” he asked, climbing into bed behind you.

“No, just you,” you whispered. You heard his soft laugh and knew how pleased he was that you wanted his body directly against yours.

Astarion curled up behind you and lifted your leg with a gentle hand. With only the slightest bit of difficulty, he pushed himself back into you. He gave a few gentle thrusts, then settled and pulled you close and buried his nose in your hair.

You sighed happily. “You feel good,” you told him. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He kissed the back of your neck. “Good, I’m glad.” He rubbed your side with a gentle hand. “Tell me if it starts to get uncomfortable.”

You nodded. “Think I’m gonna fall asleep before that, actually…”

Astarion laughed softly. “Alright, love. Go to sleep. I’ve got you.”

Humming, you leaned back against him and let sleep take you with him still inside of you and wrapped around you like a warm blanket.

~❊~

Astarion was late.

He should have been home at least an hour ago—but you knew how long these court cases could take. There had been days before where he didn’t return home until after dark. You always hated those days, but he repaid you with lots of kisses and snuggles and a surprise date later in the week when he came home early. 

You were getting ready for work in your shared bedroom, finishing up braiding your hair in the mirror Astarion had fucked you against last night. Your core still ached, but your limp had mostly disappeared. You could always fabricate a story for your boss about twisting your ankle or something equally mundane—anything less embarrassing than having to admit your fiancé had fucked you within an inch of your life. 

You tucked the last few strands into place and checked your makeup one last time, making sure your very, very dark hickeys were covered. Unlike Astarion, who had left for work with one easily spotted above his collar, you would rather your coworkers didn’t ask questions about your sex life. 

Downstairs, the door opened. Astarion! You silently thanked the gods that you would see him before you left for your shift at the tavern. You heard low, murmuring voices and had the impression that the day had been a long, tiresome one. You’d give him a long hug before you left, even if he didn’t want to let go and it made you late. 

Selwynn screamed. Plates crashed. 

You were running down the stairs faster than you thought possible. You slammed into the door jamb on your way into the kitchen and found Thesan standing stock-still and dumbfounded in the middle of the kitchen, Selwynn on the floor and surrounded by shards of ceramic. She was sobbing. There were two unfamiliar men in the uniform of Baldur’s Gate officials standing in the doorway, somber.

“What happened?” you demanded. “Where’s Astarion?”

“I’m sorry, my lady,” said one of the men, taking off his hat. “I take it you are Astarion Ancunin’s fiancée?”

Knots formed in your stomach. “I— Yes, I am. What…what’s happened? Where is he?”

“I’m sorry, he…” He gained control of the sudden sorrow that crossed his features. “I regret to inform you that Astarion was found dead. Murdered, in fact.”

☞ ❊ ☜

[Image Caption: I do not give permission to repost, translate, or publish my work on any other site or app by anyone except myself. I do not give permission for my work to be fed into AI (for audio, art, or writing).]

Baldur's Gate 3 // Astarion Ancunin

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[randomfanner]

Spawn Astarion + His Siblings Headcanons

Time for Spawn Astartion, his headcanons are probably going to be the lightest this far, mind you I am writing this before I actual write the headcanons so this is subject to change. Unless of course it doesn't!

When I do Ascended Astarion, there is going to be a lot of warnings but that is Ascended Astarion. We are letting this vampire man be happy five minutes before we go into what happens if his life gets ruined.

There is a mention of the slimmest piece of shit. The rattest of rat bastard: Cazador. Only mentioned.

Discussing Astarion's relationship with sex. Not sex itself, there is nothing safe for work, just how Astarion is most definitely demi-sexual.

This is going to be tooth rotting:

Astarion is trying so fucking hard to be a good boyfriend. Do you have idea how much he is trying? He has no idea what he is doing, he meant that so he tries to figure it out by doing everything he can for you.

This man will wait on you hand and foot and I am serious.

He loves to do it too. You are the first thing to make this man feel safe, loved and wanted in 200 years. You have aided him in getting free from the tadpole in his head, the Absolute nonsense, his past, his tormentor, that ritual and, perhaps most importantly:

Himself

"So by all means dear, sit down, relax," he guides you to sit down on the couch. "This is the least you deserve. Besides I do think you have a few friend who would be happy to be lathered in your lovely attention well I make dinner," of course he is referring to Scratch and Owlbear cub. He will give you a kiss on the cheek as he goes to make you dinner.

Of course afterward he is done with dinner, he joins the cuddle pile. giving you kisses and praises... If you are gracious enough to allow him a nibble he certainly will not deny though.

This to be said even after all this time he is not used to receiving affection and positive attention back. Not anything genuine at least and so it can take him... time to get used to receiving your touch.

Oh the man loves it. Do not get it right you make him feel... wanted. He is just not used to that feeling. So sometimes he may flinch away from you when you try to be soft with him. He doesn't want you to feel offended and does assure you "It is in no way you, my beloved, it is all me."

Give him time and he always does come seek out your touch eventually. He does thrive on the warm you make him feel with your softer moments.

Astarion notices he is slowly becoming... good. He hates it. He does like it, but he really hates it

One day he was walking home after getting groceries from the night market and saw someone dropped their wallet, and with out thinking, he returned the wallet. He got thanked and walked away with out even realizing what he did and then he just.

Stops.

He debates on going back and stealing the wallet back. He can, he knows he can... but he just.... doesn't. He just goes home and isn't sure what he just did and man may have a crisis.

"Don't worry about me, dearest!" if you try check on him. "I just did a good thing with out reason and I am not taking it well- give me a minute. I do want to discuss this!"

He becomes very clear with his emotions and tries not to hide them with you at all. He will tell you what he is thinking, when he is thinking and makes sure you expect complete honesty from him. You have shown him all and more trust in the world.

He did try to kill you at minimum twice and he was fully intent on using you. He still feels... guilty about those things as much as he tries to deny it. And he does talk with you about it when it comes up. Because he trusts you.

He honestly trusts you. It means the world to him that despite how little he deserves it, you showed him trust. And he is so happy you are here with him.

Astarion tends to go hunting a lot in peaceful times. He is still a vampire and even with out the blood lust of hunger he sometimes just... needs to kill something. A predator instinct that is going to be with him as long as he is a vampire.

Not that he minds. Going hunting for animals, sometimes monsters, and any nasties who are stupid enough to try and attack him make him feel excited.

He keeps his promise not to attack innocent of course and has saved a few lives by his hunting. Whether it be a child who got lost in the woods at night, or perhaps a foolhardy adventurer. A lot of these you wouldn't have known about if it weren't for the fact the people he has saved have stopped by during the day, bringing by gold or gifts as a reward.

Astarion never expects it but it makes him... happy. It makes him really happy.

Take him shopping when you get to Baldur's Gate. Like, do it, please. Take him to the Facemake Boutique and let him pick out his own, nice clothes and maybe some dye.

Oh the man is more than ecstatic. His appearances matters to him, it makes to him a lot. If you have no, read the description on his clothes: it made me cry.

He does cry about it afterwards . He will just be sitting on his bed at the Elf Song, staring at his old clothing , clothes he struggled to keep nice and now he has nice clothes from someone he cares about that he got to pick out.

It gets and makes you so many gifts. He will go to Halsin, whether you are in a relationship with him or not, and ask him to help him learn how to skin animals and begin using the pelts and leathers of animals he kills. (if you are also dating Halsin, it is a wonderful bonding activity for the two of them).

Man does sew and has been stitching up your clothes during the adventure. Even before he realized he was in love. He noticed a rip on your camp outfit and "Give that here, I will fix it for you."

He fixes your clothes with embroidery. He adds something that reminds you of him to your outfit and just hands it over to you, muttering how you need to be more careful with your clothing. And now he will ask if he can add a bit more flare to your outfits.

Man has a lot of fears that he doesn't realize are fears until they come up again. They were things that he accepted as life and now he doesn't have too, he is terrified of them. Please protect him.

So this is you decided to not kill the vampires. I personally could not kill the vampires:

Knocking on the door is never an expected sound. Most people tended to leave you, Astarion(and Halsin) alone. Especially when it is the middle of the night. But when Astarion answered the door well.

"May... may we come in?"

"What in the bloody hells are you doing here?"

He never expected to see his brother or sisters again after you had convinced him to spare them. And if he did see them again he didn't expect them to show up at his house! He.... debates before he lets them in.

He is on edge about it as he officially introduces you to his family. You all really did not have any time for names or such when Cazador was still alive but now you are. He allows them to stay for dinner.

His siblings wanted to come thank you, officially and more completely than last time. And also get to know whoever the hell managed to give Astarion hope again.

It is extremely awkward at first, there isn't even enough room for them at the dinning table but.... you guys just start chatting about how life has been since things ended.

You hear about the vampires, how they are doing, and you get to meet his siblings. They are all damaged people but they are... nice people. Astarion is... kind of glad that they came.

Perhaps... they can have a relationships. Not forced siblings but... friends.

Willing friends.

[random-introverted-blog]

Across Stars and Time [Ascended!Astarion x F!Reader]

Spawn vs Ascended oh my gawd

Edit: Due to incredibly popular demand on AO3 (again) this story has been converted to a full story called His Star - His Queen. It's being cross posted between here and AO3

Read His Star - His Queen on AO3

Read His Star - His Queen on Tumblr

Intended Audience: Mature [Merely a suggestion, like speed limits, right?]

Who be smoochin?: Astarion x F!Reader

The Bit: At long last, Astarion will be free of his master and you will be his most enthusiastic cheerleader as he ends Cazador, once and for all. So you think until you find an Imposter Astarion that waits in the center of the room for you. Cazador tortured and dying at his feet. And your Astarion, to his horror, faces the true cost of his ascension. You.

Warnings/Advisories: ANGST, no happy ending (though it ends on a brighter/hopeful note), major character death (not either Astarion, that would be too easy on both of them), references of past SA, references of suicide, a reference of sucidal ideation, violence, injuries, yandere doing yandere things, obsessive and possessive behavior, your boyfriend is getting the shit kicked out of him, your "husband" who is the same man from another universe is kicking the shit out of himself, "HERE COMES ASCENDANT ASTARION WITH THE STEEL CHAIR FROM THE TOP ROPE", is it time magic or jumping across realities, "SPAWN ASTARION WITH THE SUPLEX"

Words, all the word (count): a whopping 5,390

Writing art and breaking hearts in 3...2...1

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

"Save it for when I'm standing over Cazador's bloody corpse." Astarion had said when he stopped you from kissing him today.

And that was fine, sure, you really wanted to, but you could understand he was not in the head-space to be affectionate with you. It didn't change how he felt, or how you felt, so what did it matter? You could wait your whole life for his kisses and embraces and still die happy, so long as it was a life shared with him. There was nothing you wanted more than Astarion, baggage and all. No matter how unsure and self conscious he was about what he believed he lacked or couldn't give you. You crossed your fingers that it would be enough he would decide against completing the ritual. It would change him, that you knew without a doubt. And you were nervous it wouldn't be a change for the better.

You loved him for him, as much as you were afraid to use those exact words, and you had seen plenty of times what immense power does to people... your heart clenched thinking of that happening to him.

Nights nuzzled into his chest, legs tangled together, fingers in your hair. The safest and warmest you've ever felt was being in his cold arms. These were some of your best memories in the few you still held from your past life. And you made sure he knew he didn't even need to do any of that, the cuddles and kisses, to have your love. It was unconditional. It always would be.

You couldn't wait to stand with him as he finally ended this chapter of his life and turned the page, and his eyes toward a brighter future. Hopefully, if he wished it... it would include you.

But something was wrong. There wasn't a single servant to be seen in the whole place. You found the signet ring left on the floor in front of the sealed door and Astarion chalked it all up to Cazador paving the way for his "homecoming party". It didn't sit right with you, and you had tried to express as much to him but it just made him snap at you. After all, he spent two hundred years as a slave to the vampire lord. Who were you to question what he did and didn't know?

After that, you had kept your mouth shut. It hurt, but you had already forgiven his bad mood. You understood he was going through a lot, anxiety eating him from the inside out. So you kept your thoughts to yourself and did your best to keep your perceptive eyes peeled for any clues. Your gut instinct was right. When you found the elevator to the crypt, you had silently hoped it would ease your own troubled thoughts, your paranoia, but truth be told; it made it worse.

You looked among your companions to gauge if they perhaps felt the same. As rare as it was to see them all together on a mission, Astarion had earned their friendship just as much as you had, and not a one turned down the chance to deliver a long overdue beat down on Cazador Szarr.

But the only thing you registered on their faces was a determination for violence. Glad as you were, you were just as eager, of course, but that did little to soothe your nerves. It wasn't uncertainty, like Astarion's, much as he tried to mask it. No, something felt... changed. Unbalanced. Your tadpole, maybe? No, it was quiet as a babe. Your urges? No, your bhaalspawn blood, despite feeling a mite antsy, was relatively subdued.

As you crossed the crypt on the way toward the two large, ancient doors, a voice called out to Astarion. He stopped, glanced at you and turned slowly toward the cell. Expression impassive but footsteps cautious, until his eyes widened. "Sebastian??" He gasped, taking one step back.

"What are you doing out here?" The spawn asked, clinging to the bars. "You're supposed to be in there!" The man jabbed a finger toward the door.

Drawing your brows together, you glanced at the doors behind you, and you started to drift toward it. Screams caught your ears from within. Muffled, but sharper as you moved closer. A hand on your shoulder, and you found Gale, Halsin and Shadowheart at your back while Astarion was distracted with the spawn. Tempted as you were to stay, he seemed to be really distraught. Something was undeniably wrong now. Why were they so convinced he had already come through here?

Those screams were unlike anything you had ever heard, sounds of terror and agony that sent shivers down your spine. You had heard and seen a lot in your travels, you all had. But nothing quite like the sounds coming from beyond these doors.

Halsin took the lead and pushed the doors open, you close behind, Shadowheart and Gale took the rear behind you.

You were startled when the doors slammed shut behind Shadowheart, and the four of you looked among yourselves, searching for an answer for the other. When all you received were questioning stares, your eyes wandered to the center of the chamber and you descended the long stone staircase. Lining the platform, hovering above red sigils, were Astarion's siblings. Veils of darkness covered their faces, whatever it was doing, the source of their twisted symphony for relief.

Dead center of the platform, a figure in top-grade studded leather armor hunched over someone on their hands and knees. Hands visibly trembling against the floor, drenched in sweat.

As if sensing your presence, the figure tossed something from their right hand, a blade skidding across the floor, their now free hand raised in the air and snapped their long fingers. Instant silence fell over the ritual chamber. "Ah, there you are..." a voice greeted in a low, familiar purr. "I've been waiting..." they continued, slowly straightening to full height, presenting you the equally... hauntingly familiar white curly haired back of their head. "Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you." Looking over their shoulder before at last, turning to face you. "Waiting... to have you."

"What kind of sick magic is this? An identity spell?" Gale questioned, as confused and audibly disturbed as the rest of you. Bewildered at this seemingly perfect copy of Astarion. No... something was off. You just couldn't put your finger on it. It wasn't anything on a physical level, as far as you could tell. He wasn't wearing the same armor, though. Like you noted earlier, this was top grade studded leather armor, dyed a midnight black and dark red. Yours was wearing the set of Spidersilk armor you had pried from the dead drow woman back at the Emerald Grove.

"Cazador, if you think hiding behind his face is going to stop me from peeling yours from your bones, allow me to let you down now." You glared, readying your weapon and assuming your stance. The others followed your lead, as always.

But the Mimic chuckled, a soft, airy sound too like Astarion for it to be a mimic. "He won't be able to answer you, my dear" they chuckled, tone filled with amusement. "He's long swallowed his own tongue." You watched the deep crimson cloak sway behind them as they circled around the trembling man, turning him over their black boot. The man fell onto his back, and you assumed the dark-haired elven man, face swollen, bloody and almost too distorted to be recognized as a face, was all that remained of Cazador.

He gasped and wheezed, and the mimic used their foot to force Cazador's head up to face you, providing you a better look. Sure as they said, there was no tongue... or fangs, either. Only two gaps in the top row of teeth where they should be.

Unceremoniously, they dropped his head to the floor, and you realize the mimic hasn't actually taken their eyes off you since they circled around Cazador. "I am a man of considerable patience, but even I grew bored idling about, waiting for him to bring you to me, my treasure."

"A shapeshifter." You blurted out as the thought crossed your mind. "Really, an imposter of my lover? I'm almost flattered, dear sister" a mocking grin splitting your lips, hand tight around your weapon, magic crackling at your fingertips, waiting to be unleashed should they make a move against you.

The imposter raised their eyebrows before meeting your grin with their own. "No, darling. I'm more Me than that... creature you've been putting up with."

"What in the nine hells are you then?" you bite impatiently, tired of this back and forth. Something was wrong. Horribly wrong. That you couldn't figure it out was wearing on you.

Behind you, the doors burst open, but neither of you looked away from your standoff to see. Footsteps rushing down the stairs, "y/n!" Astarion called after you, coming to an audible skidding stop at the scene before him.

"I'm the man you love, pet." The Imposter responded, as if the rest of your team didn't just rush in, as if the real Astarion wasn't joining your side, daggers drawn. "I'm the man who in another life you denied, using a disintegrate scroll on yourself to reject everything I gave you. The man who has crossed the stars and time itself to return you to his side." They took a step toward you but you held your ground, ignoring every impulse to turn heel and bolt the other way as they partly lifted their hands from their side. "I am High Lord Astarion Ancunín. Vampire Ascendant." Smirking from ear to ear in a way that was undeniably Astarion. From the glance you spare at your Astarion, he seemed just as stunned, confused... worried.

Still, you searched him for it: deception, doubt, a half truth, anything and your heart sunk further, the more you found to only prove his point. To your horror, this was Astarion. Somehow, as he said, crossed the barriers of your realities to be here.

Ascendant... This is what Astarion would become if he completed the ritual.

You searched his eyes, for what you couldn't say for sure, something to reject this, reject him. Something that would wake you from this nightmare. His eyes were cold, dark with malice, lacking any of the warmth you felt when you stared into your Astarion's, they were commanding, all-consuming.

Your body stiffened, rigid. You couldn't look away.

"There..." The Ascendant sighs, almost dreamily, "come here to me, my treasure..." Extending his arms wide, inviting you into them, and you feel every muscle in your body acting on its own.

Panic nearly takes your senses. "No, I can't..." you force the words out before your throat tightens and your tongue stills.

But that's all he needs to hear to understand. Astarion's arm wraps around your waist as your feet move, pulling you into his arms instead. With a mind of its own, your body thrashes and squirms against him as if desperately trying to heed the Ascendants' command, but he doesn't let go. "Easy, darling, I've got you..." He murmurs in your ear, not unlike the nights he's comforted you, tied up and writhing on your bedroll. "I won't let him... I won't..." you detect the softest of tremors in his voice while you struggle to regain control of your limbs.

Behind you, you listen to your friends scrambling to form a protective line between both of you and the Ascendant. "I don't know what damnable creature you are," Wyll says from somewhere in the line, "but I know my friend Astarion, and that's enough reason for me to drive my blade through your putrid heart."

"What you are is an abomination." Halsin speaks right after him, "part of understanding and appreciating the artistry of life is understanding the role death plays in nature's beauty. But frankly... I cannot imagine any reason for your existence." He concludes with a harsh glare at the Ascendant.

Who merely lifts an eyebrow. "How imbecilic." He says impassively, glancing among your six friends. Suddenly his eyes glow and mist red, and with a wave of his hand the very shadows at their backs surge to life.

Halsin's shadow is upon him with a viciousness you've only seen in rabid animals, shredding him to ribbons before he even turns to face the monster.

Lae'zel holds her own well enough before hers takes her to the ground. Though it seems grim, she appears to be regaining the upper hand quickly.

Gale whips around and reaches to grab Wyll and cast Dimension Door, but his own shadow counterspells him and blasts him with a ray of frost so hard it sends him hurtling through the air.

The Ascendant watches the wizard sail past him with a barely suppressed humor to his features. "Oh, dear..." He mutters just loud enough to be heard, "not going quite the way you expected, is it?" He mutters, raising his hand to examine his nails. Only appearing mildly interested in the chaos unfolding in front of him.

Wyll dispatches his shadow, only to watch Karlach overwhelmed by hers, and he shouts in horror. Barely reaching her in time to block the downswing aimed for her chest.

"And how about you druid—Oh, dear..." he gasps, a feigned expression of shock flitting across his face, moving that same hand to his mouth, a wicked smile barely concealed behind his splayed fingers. You shiver at the sadistic delight dancing shamelessly in his eyes while he gawks at the sight of Halsin, savaged and lifeless, face down in a pool of his own blood. "You always had that coming, you dimwitted oaf. The first time too..." He huffs, straightening his posture and holding his head up as he leers down at the body with blatant disdain. "And you know what they say about your own worst enemy...." As he glances among your friends, one by one struggling and fending for themselves.

Astarion tugs at your arm when your body stills against his. "We need to go, now!" he hurries, dragging you behind him.

He reaches the bottom of the stairs before you pull your arm free. "We're just going to leave them?!" you ask incredulously, raising your voice, gesturing and looking behind you.

Shadowheart thoroughly thrashes her dark copy with impressive efficiency, diverting her energy now to the Ascendant. The familiar chant falls from her lips as she begins to cast Turn Undead. Vanishing in a blur of crimson mist, he reappears in front of her, and she successfully gets the spell off a mere second later.

But he stood there, unfazed. Flashing a wicked grin, he confidently takes hold of Shadowhearts' hands, lifting them up and then abruptly wrenching them in opposing directions, sending an uneasy wave through your body. She cries out in agony, and the Ascendant allows her to collapse to her knees before he callously brushes her aside with his boot, treating her as though she were nothing more than a worn-out toy.

Astarion takes your arm again, returning your attention to him and desperate urgency flashes over his features. "You don't understand. I know what he wants, and I won't let him—"

Just as he turns around for the stairs, a flash of red mist. "Tut-tut." The Ascendant scolds, clearly unimpressed, scowling at Astarion as the very shadows of the room gather around his hands.

Reacting faster than your vampire, you swiftly shove yourself between the two Astarions, acting on instinct.

Pain ripples through you unlike anything you've felt before, like a hammer of fire and ice that makes your blood boil and freeze all at once. The blast launches you back into Astarion hard enough to send you hurtling through the air, past Gale casting another spell.

Your body slams into the unforgiving coldness of the stone platform, causing a sharp intake of breath and a loud grunt of pain involuntarily slips past your lips. The force of the impact propels you into a chaotic, disorienting tumble, your cheek scraping the rough texture of the floor as you skid to a halt.

Despite the pain on your face, you dug deep and pushed on your arms, your body trembling slightly as you managed to roll onto your back. Vision hazy and unfocused. What in the sweet hells kind of magic was that?

Where's...?

Straining your eyes, you see Gale rushing toward you before ominous black chains materialized from the floor and curled around his arms and legs, forcefully dragging him to his knees. Instinctively reaching for the wizard but your thoughts and concerns quickly shift elsewhere at the sound of your name. Tilting your head backwards, your heart almost settles at the sight of your pale elf scrambling to his feet toward you, "Astarion!" you call back, mustering your strength again in an attempt to get back on your feet.

And as quickly as you felt some sense of relief at the sight of him, your heart sinks violently at the tendril, the whip of dark magic that coils tightly around his body and flings him backward, away from you. With his rogueish reflexes, he quickly gathers his feet under him and lunges for his attacker. Fiercely, you struggle to your knees, desperate to help him.

The Ascendant effortlessly extends his arm, gathering at his legs, "even vermin must kneel before a god," he sneers, snapping his arm back to his side, sending a grunting, growling Astarion down with it, knees slamming to the ground. A fury to his stride "you were always worthless, sniveling..." raising his boot and pressing it harshly onto your vampire's shoulder, "groveling." Pushing him harshly down onto his hands.

Lightning flies from behind you, a quick glance reveals Gale had managed to get the spell off, and the Ascendant winces at the unexpected attack, stumbling off of Astarion. Who doesn't waste the opportunity and tackles his full weight into him. It doesn't do more than throw the Ascendant somewhat off balance as the two wrestle for the upper hand. "Bluster all you want, but I see what you really are! A lost, empty, miserable creature! Trying to fill a hole in your heart that all the power in the world will never sate!" Astarion snarls with his fangs on full display.

With a shove, the Ascendant puts distance between him and Astarion. His eyes glow red again and he grabs Astarion by the throat, lifting him into the air like a rag-doll. A familiar hand touches your shoulder and you're about to turn and thank Gale when the Ascendant's head snaps in your direction. The chains, which never fully released Gale, tighten around his arms and legs but begin to pull slowly in opposite directions. Then he opens his hand, his palm flat and level with the ground. Darkness swirling from the room and around his fingers like moths to a flame, and he steadily curls them back into his hand as it simmers a soft, red glow.

Blobs of shadow ooze from the floor and take the shape of monsters, soldiers, ghouls... One dozen, then two. Far more than you know your friends and you can fend off on your own. "Wait!" You shout before you can fully think of why you're doing so, rising to your feet at last, despite the way your legs ache and demand you don't.

Eerily, it all comes to a stop. All of it. And though the Ascendant pauses a long while, even he flings Astarion carelessly behind him before he slowly turns to you. "Apologies, my treasure... I got carried away." He says calmly, watching you cautiously circle around him.

You hesitantly look around the room. From Cazador's body, to Halsin's mangled and brutalized and the six spawn still muzzled with dark magic... "why are you doing all this?" is all you can ask in a barely audible whisper.

"You." He answers, so simple yet with such reverence. "For you, for us, I have dominated this city, compelled it to kneel before you, reduced it to little more than your personal footstool for your amusement." His eyes were distant with fond memories, and evidently clueless to the horror in your eyes. "I made you my queen, and I sat you beside me on a throne befitting of one, one that embodied your grace and beauty." You watched his eyes gaze upward, still deep in his recollections.

"The sight of you seated beside me never failed to make my heart swell with pride and fill me with contentment, like a melody playing in my soul." The words tumbling out, as if he'd been holding them in for centuries, bringing a hand to rest flat against the chest of his armor, over his heart.

"Hundreds of servants who kissed the ground you blessed with your every step as you tread the halls of our palace... and still, you rejected me." The Ascendant growls, taking a step toward you that has you quickly reeling backward, away from him. "After everything I taught you, all the delights of obedience, slow as you were to learn them... Countless nights spent coaxing your body to submission to me with nothing but pleasure. And you. Still—"

"No wonder I fucking killed myself." You spat, cutting him off before he could make you vomit... gods, how your stomach churned... "By the hells," you muttered, a look of disgust on your face. "What made you think I'd ever want that? The Astarion I know, my Astarion, would never... He knows me. Sees me." Gesturing behind you, and on cue, you felt his hand brush yours. "Did you?" The words sounding like a soft plea on behalf of your Other Self. A life, by what he described, you loathed.

The Ascendant regards you, his face impassive and impossible to read and all you could hope - pray for, was that your words were getting through. Even if he may not be your Astarion, it still pained you to see him like this. Amazed you he didn't look any different in the physical sense...

But then you watched his piercing scarlet eyes swirl back, full of malice, the twisted obsession of a love now corrupted, a chilling fury smoldering in his gaze as it consumed you. Commanding.

He grinned as your limbs once again went rigid. "Yes. I do." Casually raising his hand, this time you can only helplessly watch as another burst of foul magic slams into Astarion behind you, "now be a good girl, stop struggling and come to me."

In an instant, you berated yourself for your own stupidity to fall for this again, as your body stiffly, though slowly, moved forward. Behind you, chaos erupted as the creatures summoned by the Ascendant swarmed upon your friends. To your relief, you hear them fighting, possibly even holding them off, but that just meant you were on your own against... this.

Straining with all your will, you tore your gaze away from his eyes and fixated on the center of his chest. Though it had no effect on the command already imposed on your unwilling body, it felt less forceful. You grimaced, wriggling your fingers as you fought to regain any semblance of control from him. You never told Astarion you love him, you have to tell him, and you need to beat this if you ever want to...

With a fierce growl, your arms at last heed your demands, allowing you to swiftly reach for the dagger holstered at your side. However, you misjudged the distance between you two and realize too late you're within his grasp, and he quickly seizes your wrists, forcefully pulling you towards him. "Gods, I've missed you, my love..." The Ascendant's warm breath caressed your ear, his grip strong and possessive. Tight and suffocating.

Warm... He's...

With precision, he extends his hand towards your face, gently leading it to meet his own. The moment your lips touch, a searing heat spreads through your body, intensified by the graze of his fangs against your lip. As if anticipating your resistance, his other hand swiftly clasps the back of your head, holding you in place. Preventing any thought you may have had about breaking away before he's done.

It freezes you at first. The similarity, yet stark difference, of his lips hits you like a sudden gust of wind. It's a complete contrast to the cold you've grown accustomed to and sincerely enjoy from your Astarion.

How similar, but utterly different, his lips are. They radiate warmth, as do his hands and breath. It's a complete contrast to the cold you've grown accustomed to and sincerely enjoy from your Astarion. The smell of the Ascendant, rosemary and bergamot, differs from yours, though, with his comes a tinge of a frosty winter evening. Against every sense in your mind, screaming at you to stop him, fight this, your heart races with a sickening blend of fear and want.

Still, you fought, barely resisting the intense urge to kiss him back. This wasn't your Astarion. Yours was... calling out to you, and you could barely hear him. Could barely hear anything other than the Ascendants' breaths and mouth moving on yours, as if tempting you to sync with the kiss before he silently gives up and barely separates from you. "Come with me, my dark consort." He practically purrs, his lips brushing yours. "Faerûn waits eagerly for the return of its queen..."

The realization dawns on you, and your gut clenches in anticipation of what is about to unfold. You make one final, desperate attempt to wrench yourself free. Sights and sounds beyond the Ascendant return to you. Prying your arms free, you push against his chest.

Gods above, you don't want to live the nightmare he just described for yourself.

He sighs at your struggling and tsk's, "it seems I truly will have to teach you, and your body, all over again... And here I was hoping I could have the chain removed from the bottom of your throne..." murmuring softly, words dripping with disappointment, like the steady fall of rain.

Did your other self have a spare scroll handy...?

You writhe in his arms, twisting away in your attempt to untangle yourself from his grasp and slip down to the floor, knowing that attacking him with your hands will be useless and unable to grab your dagger in this position. You focus all your energy on trying to escape.

Across the floor, your eyes meet Astarion's. Your Astarion. Fighting viciously through wave after wave of monsters, unable to make any ground toward you. A shared desperation in your eyes, even as a sinister red glow slowly surrounds you. You never told him... you need to tell him...

Damn this. Damn him. "I love you, Astarion." You choke back the sob threatening to spill out, praying to whatever god is listening that he at least hears you say it.

For better or worse, his eyes gloss, "I'll find you, my love, I swear..."

Red swirls blind you.

And you're gone.

‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐–‐

The moment you disappear, so does the small horde of creatures. Astarion shakily crosses the floor until he reaches the spot where they stood. Where He took you.

He collapses.

And he screams.

Screams until his throat is raw. Screams ugly, heart wrenching sobs that stung the ears like knives, with the power to move even the most callous heart with pity.

Today was supposed to be the start of his new life. One he dreamed of for two centuries, that he would share with you. Cazador lay dead beside him, so it was still possible, but what use was this freedom when he felt emptier than he's ever felt in his entire existence, living and undead? While within reach, it offered no solace. He would be alone. Again.

Astarion swore he would find you, but how would he? Would he have to ascend? Seize that power and ascend as well? Could Shadowheart bring back Cazador, just to use and spend him, so that Astarion could save you?

The way he... the Ascendant looked at you... It was vile. Utterly devoted to you, yet possessed by obsession. A gnarled, grotesque, and barely recognizable idea of his own love for you. The things he would do to force you to... love him. While wearing his face.

The terror that if he ascended here and now, that he could become that bastard...

Not even the tadpole, the Absolute mattered to him anymore. Not when he faced life without you, the only person to see him, to love him... For him.

He truly meant it. Not everyone had a heart like you. No one was like you. He would never find another love like what he feels for you.

Why didn't he just kiss you this morning when he had the chance...?

An odd, dense mist formed in front of him, and Astarion reluctantly watched it. Hells, the last thing he needs is... whatever this is.

"This simply cannot be permitted." Said a soft-spoken voice as an elven woman emerged from within. Her eyes scanning over the scene. She wore a light grey robe and a symbol around her neck shaped like a golden, dawning sun with five half crescents like spokes of a wheel. Her hair was long and bright, eyes a pale blue.

She knelt in front of Astarion, her fingers brushing what he is only now seeing. Dark, simmering runes that form a circle around where He stood, where He took you. "Are you keen to uphold your promise?" She asked without looking up at him.

Astarion blinked, but he refused to hesitate. "If you have a way to help me save her, talk quickly." He replies impatiently.

The woman slowly rose to her feet and Astarion, though his knees trembled slightly, rose to join her. "Save may be too strong a word. Her suffering is inevitable now, and it will be plentiful in supply." A small frown flickered across her features. If she noticed the anguish that those words caused him, she paid no mind. "But we may yet return her here, where she belongs. Where she's needed." She says calmly. "But it cannot be so without you."

"What part of 'talk quickly' do you not understand? Are they not words you comprehend? Tell me what you need and I'll do it."

"Patience, little vampling." The woman soothes, unperturbed by his temper. "This timeline must sleep before her disappearance can affect it. In turn, your parasite will sleep, just as hers has already." She explains patiently, as another figure, a small Elven man with a journal and quill in hand, emerges from the mist and joins her side. He kneels down and begins studying the runes, drawing them on the parchment. "It will not be simple or easy. The Ascendants' power has risen to heights we haven't seen in other timelines. But he cannot continue his rise unchallenged." She continues with a small shake of her head.

Astarion moved to take a step toward her, only for the man to catch his foot gently, holding it back from covering one of the runes. "Tell me what you need from me, and I will give it." He says back firmly, a growl edging his tone.

The woman nodded. "Come with me. We have much to discuss." She gestures slowly with one hand behind her, toward the mist.

He's about to start toward it with little hesitation, before he stops and looks back. Karlach kneeling beside Halsin's mangled remains, Wyll's hand on her shoulder. Gale and Lae'zel were on either side of Shadowheart, who was nursing her broken hands.

She gives a nod, committed to this just as much as he was. "Get her back. And thrash the bastard for me." The cleric encourages with a weary but determined smile.

With a nod and a silent promise, he turns back to the woman and now the man, their presence looming at the edge of the mist, and he strides resolutely forward to enter it alongside them.

"I love you, Astarion." His heart shattering all over again remembering the tremble in your voice.

Astarion swore he would find you.

And this time he would say it back.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

A/N: Sorry, I just didn't have the heart to end it on a note of "oh no Spawn Astarion is just fucked now I guess".

This had been an idea on and off, but was inspired to go for it when I saw it prompted during my regular tumblr scroll. I have written, and rewritten and written it again, over and over, and this is the culmination of endless suffering. So... Thanks for reading this far! Hope you liked it!

EDIT: this is intended as a one-shot. There is no planned continuation. The ending is written to provide an alternate, a sense of hope, if you, the reader is unhappy with the "bad end". You can decide for yourself if Astarion is successful at finding you, if he survives a second confrontation, the consequences of it all, etc.

Of course, I have plenty of ideas for how I'd continue it but I have no serious interest to at the moment. I might write it privately for myself if I do, but it depends how much people care about this.

[kawareo]

Friend and I are currently brainstorming giving Orin a boyfriend... softboy vampire spawn who ends up getting the most feral girlfriend in all of Baldur's gate... they're consuming my brain your honor, they both have inferiority issues, bf with Astarion being the 'favorite' spawn and Orin with Durge, neither truly owns their own body nor mind, "You're my most important" is their love confession... and orin is absolutely unhinged but he kinda just learns to speak her language and listens to her ramblings about blood and gore while he nods along and paints her nails for her

Orin hits him with an "My flesh craves for embrace of yours, undead maggot" and he opens his arms to let her come and cuddle

[emetkoto]

you got any of them kotostarion postcanon hcs?

BOY DO I!!!!!! K'otos canon ending is choosing to stay with Astarion and work together to try and find a cure for his vampirism so they spend a lot of time pouring over tomes together at sorcerers sundries or traveling to Waterdeep to bother Gale for access to his personal library between accepting adventuring jobs to keep their coffers filled and also take advantage of being able to travel to seek out leads in other places too (tho it is mildly inconvenient only being able to travel at night/under extremely heavy tree cover they make the most of it and enjoy setting up camp to relive those days of tent cuddling). Thye also have a house together in the city bc idc they saved the damn world the least they can do is give them a place to live free of charge!!!!! and maybe they gave them a little money too so k'oto could buy out the house he and his sister lived in so she never had to pay rent again maybe. since she was a little weirded out by the 'vampire and bear boyfriends and vampire daughter who was actually their childhood friend that went missing 15 years ago' thing and politely declined moving in with them

Somewhere along the line too (I havent exactly decided where but maybe before the epilogue party? i never got the letter from him there despite my choices so that kinda pushes me towards making that canon) they also teamed up with Wyll and Karlach to hunt down and kill Haarlep to free K'oto from the body pact bc it was just unbearable for him and he'd only taken it out of a fucked up sense of obligation and difficulty viewing himself as anything more than a product or thing to be traded for what he needs and also a desire to not piss off everyone in the house before theyd gotten what they needed so. bad times all around sorry bud nothing personal but you gotta GO

And that's. kinda their life for a while? searching for leads, hunting a demon, going on adventures....sometimes checking in on the spawn in the underdark or going to stay with Halsin and Mimi just to get away from the city for a bit....relaxing and enjoying life 🥺

It's kinda cringe but I do also have it written in that Withers sends them on a quest as a stupid roundabout way to gift K'oto a ring that pauses his aging so they have as much time as they need to find Astarion's cure and they'll still be able to spend the rest of their lives together after that without one having to mourn the other since y'know. by Elf standards Astarion is extremely young and I somehow doubt the 200 years as a vampire are going to be counted when he becomes mortal again so thats like 900 years he's got left on him

There's some tie in lore with Mimi and her journey to prove herself worthy to Silvanus so he'll accept her as one of his chosen and grant her wish to be cured so she can finally grow up and not just be eternally 12 years old anymore but that is. Mostly irrelevant to kotostarion. except for the part I've been tossing around lately about her making it as his chosen eventually and being granted the power and permission to cure Astarion and the other ritual spawn as a way to help restore the natural order but. undecided if thats canon yet

[waltnut]

Yes, I'm a THIRSTY, HORNY and DEHYDRATED bicht. But I am proud of myself. Can I request more NSFW head cannons of our monster boyfriend? But don't make it dark, maybe add some after segg cares if you want? I LOVE YOU.

Don’t make it dark?? Don’t you know what I’m about??? I can’t believe this.

No I’m joking lol well damn, NSFW? Okay well, this is for the Monster Fuckers so kiddies look away. I’m sorry to those who don’t like NsFw. I will tag it as “NSFT” for Not Safe for Timeline but I also hide it under the cut. I’m sorry. I had fun with this...now I’m embarrassed lmao You guys seem to like these so...

The prompt has me thrown a bit, but I’ll just make some stuff up, I hope that’s okay.

NSFW Headcanons - Monster Boyfriend edition: Demon Lords, Vol. 1

Adult content. These are demons. If this disturbs you, then stop reading here. Otherwise, enjoy?

Lucifer

Level 3

He sheds his feathers on his body when he’s nervous. MC makes him nervous when he’s like this. What do they think of him? Is he ugly? Would they call him a monster?

He’s the most submissive in this form. Gentle touches make him shiver and jump. He feels the most vulnerable and actively moves away from MC if they try to be intimate.

But he wants the intimacy. It’s reassuring. He’s still wanted. He actually might cry a bit. He’s sensitive, be nice.

MC will have to do most of the initiating. After the first time MC had had intimacy with him like this, he will be more confident the next times they engage in any sexual activity.

Level 4

All the pride and confidence. None of that level 3 sissy business, he will have you.

He’s very grabby, and maybe grips a little too tight. He likes the power of being stronger than you. He wants you to know it.

He seems to always have his wings as wide as he can make them. It must be some sort of mating dance. He does have that part bird instinct in there somewhere. He wants to show off, maybe intimidate you a bit. Does he like fear?

Might use the feathers on his tail to tickle you to make you squirm while he has you. What fun!

Mammon

Level 3

He is very clingy. He wants to always be touching you. Even if it’s just the tips of his wings or tail, he wants to have the physical touch.

As he goes through this level, his ability to sense any Greed from the MC to be highly erotic. Talking about buying those new clothes you’ve been wanting? Turn on. Saying how you’re gonna share any of them with him? He can’t contain himself.

He loves pets. Brushes against his hair, feathers, scales, will make him coo. Bird noises, gotta love them.

Easy seduction outfit, should you choose to wear one, anything shiny. Gold chains? Perfect. Sheer black clothes but with gold edges and designs? Also perfect. He can’t resist the shiny.

Level 4

Don’t even think about leaving him, until he lets you. You’re part of his treasure now and he will preen and polish you accordingly.

Lazy in this form, expect lots of cuddling with the dragon. He’s quite warm. The texture on his underside is soft like skin even though it looks like lizard scales. Don’t be surprised when you feel surprise boners while laying with him. He may be lazy, but he’s not tired.

Touching the skin texture of his body is a great seduction tactic should you need one. It’s the sensitive side to his body while the rest is covered in feathers and scales.

While he will dress up MC in gold as a mating ritual, should MC do the same to him, it is the greatest indicator that you are accepting his proposal for intimacy.

Leviathan

Level 3

Two dicks. Look we all know it. We all agree. Moving on.

Touching the purple frills on his ears is like touching his junk. It’s a highly erroneous zone for him. But be gently, they are very soft and sensitive.

Do you even lift? Well you might need to because he is going to be wrapped around you the entire time. He’s quite heavy and good luck getting out of that one.

Laying with him in water is the best way to show any intimate intentions. Even if you think it’ll be a relaxing chill in the water, think again.

Level 4

Now if you’re brave and choose to sleep with a giant ass sea monster, you’re in luck because he can manipulate water to allow you to breathe in the water.

He is the largest of all the brothers in terms of monster size. He’s a giant sea dragon. So be careful when dealing with...well, his size.

He likes to flip you around in the water, so staying in one position is not an option. It’s like a dance!

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the orange fleshy bits on his sides. The more he glows the more you know!

Satan

Level 3

If you’re into having sex after yelling and screaming at each other then congrats! So is he. Angry sex is what he’s about. He’s wrath. I mean, come on.

Belittle him. No really. He’ll want to prove you wrong. Fuels the fire.

Extremely dominant. Don’t even try to top him. Also you just finished? No rest for you, you’re going again.

He’s gonna scratch and mark you. Bring some bandaids.

Level 4

Okay first of all, you really want to sleep with this? He’s terrifying. He is an actual hell spawn. Well okay, be prepared for selfish sex. He’s rough.

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the flames on his back. Can you pass your hand through it without it burning you? You pass. It’ll grow brighter and larger the closer he is to finishing.

Most likely to choke you.

Will call you names during the act, sorry. The “not nice” kind.

Asmodeus

Level 3

Words are your biggest weapon. Constant love and adoration is all you need when he’s like this. You won’t even need to touch him to work the magic.

As the avatar of lust, he knows the human body of all genders. His genitalia resembles a males’ but it does have a clit on the bottom side of the head of the dick. You can get real creative with that.

Kiss and touch his ears! He loves it. They might flick at your touch, but he’s into it.

Is able to have his scorpion tails in this form if he chooses to, and he likes pushing and pulling you around with them.

Level 4

More of a Dom in this form. He also enjoys a good mess.

Don’t grab onto his tails, he’s not into it. But grabbing onto his mane? Go right ahead with that.

A little bitey. Vampire tendencies.

Most likely to try and sex you on the ceiling. Why? Not sure. But he’s able to do it so just roll with it.

Beelzebub

Level 3

Look at that long ass tongue. He’s gonna use it. Why wouldn’t he use it? You’re gonna want him to use it. The paralysis saliva he can produce is something he can choose to use.

Will jump on you out of nowhere. No literally, where did he come from? It’s 3 Am and everyone else is asleep. But a good smack will get him to stop if it’s unwanted. Bad puppy.

He might share his food with you if he’s offering intimacy. Like with his mouth. Like it might already be chewed a bit.

Chromeo lyrics: ((Don’t turn the lights on! I want to see you in the dark~.)) His eyes are sensitive, okay.

Level 4

You ever had sex with a Minotaur? You ever wanted to?

Will carry you off to a secluded area that he has found for himself. He doesn’t want to be disturbed.

The longer you go with him, the hotter his body feels. Just like when he feeds, he’ll have steam coming off his body.

Most likely to hump your leg.

Belphegor

Level 3

He enjoys you being uncomfortable. Emotionally or physically.

Sleep paralysis demon. Hey, at least you won’t be doing most of the work.

He’ll quietly hum a lullaby to you to see if you’ll accept his intimacy proposal. If you hum back, you accept. Careful, he might hum your favorite song.

His wool is so soft. Why is it so soft? You need to touch all of it.

Level 4

If you’re not banging irl, you will in your dreams.

You ever wanted to have sex in space? He can make the best magic Galaxy projector you’ve ever seen, and without the paid promotion!

His wool smells of soothing herbs and incense. So despite his creepy ass behavior, you find a way to calm your nerves.

You’ll have the best sleep you’ve ever had afterwards.

[soulmate-game]

“Are you paw-sitive this is alright?” Selina half-purred half-asked. The slender cat thief was dressed casually— for her, anyway— in a floor length amethyst purple gown that swept just barely above the floor, accentuating her curves and coming down in a deep V neck that was just barely within the constraints of being acceptable for public appearances. Her companion, almost half a foot shorter even in her short heels, was a stark contrast. It was as if all the two women had in common was their hair color, a rich deep black that shimmered blue in the right lighting.

Marinette, with her hair done up in two buns and wearing a sensible pink-and-white cheongsam top with apple blossom embroidery paired with an ankle-length denim skirt that had a knee-high slit in the front, nodded even as she eyed her friend’s choice of outfit with a small frown.

“Of course. Bruce is in the media’s eye all the time, and he knows I don’t have a care for the spotlight. But you do,” Marinette stopped talking for a second, snapping her fingers and reaching into her purse. She pulled out a gorgeous inch-thick collar necklace that was made entirely of thick panels of flawless silver and high-quality diamond. At the very center of the collar necklace, where it would hang right in the center of Selina’s collarbone, was a diamond-and-obsidian cat face. “I knew I was forgetting something! Bourgeois owed me a favor for doing the outfit for her last magazine cover pro bono, so I asked for this as payment. It’s exactly what your outfit is missing.”

Just because Marinette didn’t like revealing clothing didn’t mean she couldn’t appreciate someone else wearing one well, after all. And Selina wore her dress perfectly.

Selina quirked an eyebrow, eyeing the necklace with her expert gaze. Gently, she trailed her fingertips over the tops of the diamonds in the thick bands of the collar as a small smile flicked over her lips. She raised her eyes up to Marinette’s, light green eyes sparkling with mischief and knowing.

“You got this as a bribe for me, didn’t you kitten?”

Marinette smiled unashamedly. “I know you’re a proud lesbian, but would you mind playing the role of Bruce’s girlfriend, just for the media? And only while you’re single, of course. If you ever want out, you only have to say the word. Bruce already agreed, but he also doesn’t mind continuing to play the careless bachelor if you aren’t willing.”

Selina scoffed, rolling her eyes and grabbing the necklace. Effortlessly, she swung it around her neck and clasped it in place. “Please, darling. You and I both know it drives you up a wall when Brucie is hounded by gold diggers every time he steps foot out of that mansion of his. I’ll play the camera-girlfriend, but only for a maximum of a year. And you two can only call on me one a week at most, a girl’s gotta have some time to herself.”

Marinette nodded eagerly. “That’s fine! We probably won’t even call on you that much, Bruce is planning to play the ‘we want to keep our relationship pretty low-key’ card for now. Just an appearance once a month or two ought to satisfy those vampiric paparazzi.”

Selina just smiled. She had practically adopted Marinette years previous, during a trip to Paris where she had found out she apparently had a male doppelgänger. Now the two were sisters in all but official (Not-forged) legal documents. And because of that, Bruce had somehow become her brother.

Which Bruce later found out, meant that Selina would relentlessly tease him every time she needed to appear as his “girlfriend.”

Relentlessly.

But Marinette and Bruce had a Plan. She wasn’t quite ready to make a public appearance as his real girlfriend, mostly because of loose ends that still had to be tied back in France. She was making so many trips back and forth between the two countries that they couldn’t see each other in person much to begin with, so they also didn’t want their few in-person meetings tainted by greedy D-rate journalists.

But yes, they had a Plan. One year was the perfect time frame for the last stretch of said plan. Marinette would tie up the last few things she had to do in Paris, start an official branch of her fashion company in Gotham, and they would stage an entire break-up with Selina, a three-month “break” to “recover” and then a suitably dramatic, romantic “meet-cute” between the two of them to start what the media would see as a love-at-first-sight, fairytale relationship.

Nobody needed to know about Marinette and Bruce’s five-year pining session, or their one-year fumble through figuring out how to date one another before actually getting it right, or the most recent three-years of dealing with the fact that they were both highly experienced hero/vigilantes, the leaders of their own hero teams, and highly accomplished business people.

It was a hard relationship utterly riddled with drama, but they had finally reached the stable point where they were ready to commit. Sort of. They just needed Selina to fake-date Bruce in the public eye for a couple months, and then everything would be fine.

—*—*—*—*—*

One year and three months later.

Marinette shifted her purse on her shoulder. This would be her first time in over five years actually setting foot inside the Wayne Manor. She was excited to see Alfred again, and to hash out the last details for her and Bruce’s public “meet-cute.” But Alfred didn’t open the door this time, a short green-eyed boy with an all-too-familiar frown on his face did.

And once again, Marinette knew that Selina was not the mother. Her pseudo-sister was, as she had said so long ago, a very proud lesbian. But Marinette did know of a past fling of Bruce’s who did possess the proper genes to help create a child of this age.

Marinette smiled, pushing her inner rage at the thought of Talia Al Ghul out of her mind. She was still pissed beyond all rational thought when she heard about what Talia had done to Bruce. But this child was not at fault for any of it, only an innocent by-product.

“Hello. My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Would you mind telling Alfred I’m here?”

“Tt. Why should I?” The apparently bratty boy asked, crossing his arms and glaring straight at her. Marinette felt her eye twitch.

“I am a close friend of Bruce— Would I be correct in assuming he’s your biological father?” Immediately upon her question, the boy’s eyes widened ever so slightly in shock before his glare intensified. Marinette chuckled. “He didn’t tell me that he adopted any new children, and he always tells me when he adopts. Which means he didn’t have to adopt you, suggesting you are related to him directly. You can’t be a cousin or nephew, he has no living blood family. And all his pseudo-siblings are alive and fine, so you weren’t left to his care in anybody’s will,” she deduced out loud for him. “Plus, the green eyes and tan skin— I know of exactly one of Bruce’s past… suitors… who happens to fit the timeframe and features necessary.”

The boy raised an eyebrow. “Most assume that I am that harlot Selina Kyle’s spawn,” he snapped, but it lacked the same heat this time around. He was now analyzing her face closely, and Marinette noticed. She was careful to keep her eagerness toned down. She really just wanted to see Bruce and be able to hug and cuddle him for the first time in almost a year, and this child was her only obstacle at the moment. A very stubborn one.

Marinette sighed. “Selina is like a sibling to me, don’t call her a harlot. If Selina was ever pregnant, I would have known. Hell, Selina would have given me her baby to raise because she doesn’t have any interest in being a mother. Now, the polite thing to do when someone introduces themselves is so introduce yourself back. Not interrogate or intimidate them.”

The boy huffed, straightening his emerald turtleneck and rolling his shoulders back. “I am Damian Wayne,” he replied imperiously. “And Father has never mentioned a friend by the name Marinette. Which leads me to believe you are yet another no good hopeful suitor, and Father is still recovering after he and Kyle finally split up for good.”

Marinette froze, and slowly her eyes narrowed. “He never mentioned my name? Ever?”

“Tt. I already said no.”

Finally, the shape of Alfred Pennyworth came into view behind Damian. He had obviously heard the last bit of the conversation, because he just sighed and shared a long suffering look with Marinette. It was that look that made Marinette’s eye twitch a second time.

“Alfred,” she said slowly. “Has he mentioned me at all to any of his kids?”

“He has not,” Alfred replied. “And furthermore, Miss Selina would not stop giving him a hard time whenever he had to call her out for an appearance. It seems all of the children mistook their relationship for actually being of a romantic nature.”

Damian spun to the butler, eyes wide and swimming with a multitude of emotions. “What do you mean, ‘actually’, Alfred?”

“He means,” Marinette began before Alfred had the chance. Her eyes were narrowed, matching storms of dark, furious blue. “That Selina was only pretending to be Bruce’s girlfriend so that the press and gold-diggers would leave him alone. And apparently I need to beat some sense into my stupid, idiotic boyfriend, who I should have known would do something like this,” she looked up at Alfred, jaw clenching. “That man would never be able to pass for a functioning human without either you or me keeping his head screwed on. Where is he?”

“Not at the manor currently, Mademoiselle Marinette.”

“Alfred.”

The butler gave Marinette a rather mischievous little grin. “Master Bruce has forbade me from telling you where he is currently, he wanted you to stay at the manor and sleep the jet lag off until he got back. But I can tell you that he is not currently on Earth or on a mission.”

“Alfred!” Damian hissed, shocked that the man would say something so revealing. Alfred was the perfect secret keeper, why would he tell someone Bruce had never mentioned something so telling?”

“Oh, calm yourself Master Damian,” Alfred soothed. “Marinette has known about Master Bruce’s nighttime activities since before you were born. If anything, I believe he rightfully deserves the wake up call he is about to receive.”

Marinette nodded, eyes still stormy and determined. “Alright, so he’s at the Watchtower. The Zeta tunes are still in the Batcave, right?” When Alfred nodded, Marinette wasted no time. She easily slid around Damian and stormed into the manor, finding her way to the Batcave on pure muscle memory and rage.

“Wait, Alfred! I demand an explanation!” Damian’s loud voice slowly grew quieter as Marinette stormed down into the cave, ignoring how Alfred began to calmly explain the situation to the boy. She just slid right in to the Zeta tube, and commanded the computer to send her to the Watchtower.

“P-001, codename LADYBUG, recognized.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Batman pinched his nose from where he stood at the head of the meeting room in the watchtower. The briefing was supposed to start over an hour ago, but Hal Jordan had been twenty minutes late. No surprise there. But still, SuperMan had insisted that they wait until everyone arrived. And really, normally Batman would too. Except that his long time girlfriend was going to be landing in Gotham any minute now, and he would rather be back at the manor to greet her.

And the asinine argument that had been going on for the past forty minutes was finally going to end, even if Bruce had to hogtie every last one of his insufferable coworkers himself and force them through the rest of the meeting strapped to their chairs.

“Okay, can we PLEASE begin the meeting now, or so help me I will break out my kryptonite restraints,” he threatened darkly. He might have only mentioned Kryptonite, but everyone knew that that threat was actually aimed at all of them. Batman knew every last one of their weaknesses and was not above being petty when they strained his last nerve.

Quickly getting the hint, the entire room rushed to fill their seats and at least fake at paying attention. But of course, nothing goes quite right in the life of Bruce Wayne. Right as he turned on the slideshow he had prepared and began the meeting, the sound of an enraged woman’s voice echoed down the hallway in a deafening roar.

“BRUCE THOMAS WAYNE, YOU ARE IN SOOOO MUCH TROUBLE!”

Batman felt as if someone had just shoved him into a cryogenic freezer, a harsh shiver of dread running down his spine. There was exactly one person who could terrify him with a single word, and it just so happened to be the woman he was hiding a wedding ring from.

For the past eight years, but that’s neither here nor there.

“Oh shit,” Bruce breathed, but found he was unable to move from his spot. Yes, he wanted to see Marinette so badly that it hurt. But he also would like to stay alive.

SuperMan leaned forward, not really concerned since Batman would have reacted much differently had the voice been coming from a real threat. Instead, the man leveled his old friend with a very teasing smirk.

“Why is your heart suddenly racing?”

Bruce could only glare daggers at Clark before the door to the meeting room swung open, a tiny French woman standing there in a long, formal white-and-pink knee-length gown with a cheongsam neckline and one of her leaf-green heels held in each hand threateningly.

“You absolute idiot! When I said I wanted to keep our relationship out of the public eye, I didn’t mean to keep me a secret from EVERYBODY!”

“But darling—“ Bruce cut himself off as he was forced to dodge one deadly-accurate piece of flying footwear. “You don’t understand. The boys cannot keep a secret to save their life.”

“They have secret identities, don’t they?” She slipped her other shoe back on. She had known that her shoe never had a chance of hitting, and with Bruce in full Batman gear, even if it had hit him the high heel would have felt like she had only thrown a pillow. Had it been otherwise, she wouldn’t have even joked about throwing her shoes at him. But as it stood, she knew none of the normal things she had on her would be able to so much as make Bruce say “ow.”

Marinette placed both of her fists on her hips, marching up to Batman and pulling him down the full foot it took for him to be able to look her in the eye. His resulting gulp was clearly audible, and visible, to everyone else in the room. “You absolute, emotionally dense moron,” her voice had dropped from a yell to a mildly fond, but still very annoyed, grumble. “Your kids are mostly adults now, you know. And you never told me about Damian either. Did you honestly think I’d be mad?” Bruce looked away from her, which was honestly all the answer she needed. Marinette sighed, letting him go and softening her voice. “You need to trust your kids more, Bruce. I never wanted you to keep me a secret from your family, or even your close friends. Just the annoying ass paparazzi. And trust me a little bit more, yeah? I know it isn’t exactly your strong suit, but I’ve known you long enough that you should know I’m not gonna run for the hills just because you have a biological kid that wasn’t with me.” Marinette risked giving him a slightly vulnerable, lopsided smile. And Bruce immediately deciphered what it meant. His shoulders slumped.

The cost of using the Ladybug Miraculous for so long was that Marinette had to give up her fertility. She could never have children of her own, and Bruce had felt guilty that he had had a biological child, even though he hadn’t exactly consented to it, without her. But now he could see where he went wrong.

Marinette was just happy to have another piece of him to take care of. She never would have resented him for what had happened with Talia. And, seeing all of those facts written on her face now, he felt more than a little blind.

“... sorry.”

Marinette just huffed out a short, soft laugh before grabbing Bruce by the bicep. She turned to look at the other heroes still in the room, half of them uncomfortable with seeing such an emotional display while the others looked like they were incredibly invested in a good soap opera. She shot them a grin.

“I’m stealing him for the next few days, okay? Don’t worry, I’m sure you can make do with making Diana read the slideshow. I know from experience that it has everything you guys need to know and more. Don’t call us, I’ll field all your contact to Agent A!!” With that, she dragged Bruce by the arm out of the room.

To be fair, he wasn’t exactly resisting. Even if the reunion was far from ideal, just having this little bit of contact was extremely relaxing for the vigilante. When they reached the Zeta Tubes, he stopped Marinette and pulled her in for a kiss.

When they inevitably pulled away for breath, he smiled at her. “As soon as we get back, I’ll call everyone in and explain the situation,” he promised. “And then, we can spend the rest of the night doing whatever you want.”

Marinette smiled back, shoving him into the Zeta Tube. “Then get ready, because I wanna sleep off this damn jet lag and I plan on cuddling you like a koala the whole time. No escape.”

“B-001, Codename BATMAN. Recognized.”

“Can’t wait,” he replied right before he was whisked off. The sound of the love of his life laughing followed him through until he reached the other end of the teleportation.

—*—*—*—*—*

@maribat-writing-and-prompts

[ilovebeing-weird]

The bats' secrets

Tim Drake was a duck, no he was three ducks impersonating a human. He was the ducks you saw in duck tales covered by a trench coat. Contrary to popular belief he wasn't a human. Wanna know why he is a genius? Because he is three ducks as one human. And ducks are intelligent apparently.

Wanna know why is she so awkward? Because duck! He didn't know what to do in the human world! He lived with animals all his life.

Shocked? That's what Marinette was feeling right now. Her boyfriend wanted to tell her a big secret and she didn't know what could be a bigger secret than him being Red Robin, but there was! He wasn't a human!

Now what's next? Huh? Jason's Donald? Here to take care of his three nephews, and went ape shit when he saw his nephews nowhere. He must've thought that "Tim" had eaten them. This actually made sense. Donald did have a hell of a temper.

One of the ducks whom Marinette presumed was Lui stepped forward. "I know that it must be hard for you to process Marinette but I wanted to be honest with you. I couldn't lie anymore. I am really sorry."

Marinette actually didn't know how to process that so she ran away. She knew that Ti- no, the ducks must've expected it because they didn't follow herher or tried to stop her and she was thankful for it. She ran to her and Tim's shared room before deciding against it and running to a guest room. (She could've walked but that wouldn't have been dramatic enough)

Marinette collapsed against a wall (dramatically) and sat there not knowing what to feel. She wanted to cry and scream but she also wanted to laugh. Because if you remove the whole 'my boyfriend lied to me about being a human which is actually the weirdest lie I have heard in my life and I don't know what's real anymore and what's fake' this situation was actually really funny.

Before Marinette could figure out her thoughts a knock sounded at her door. She opened the door expecting the ducks or anyone but Bruce. He awkwardly stood there for a while and they just stared at each other for a while before Bruce spoke, "I-uh-heard what happened between you and Ti-." Before Bruce could finish his sentence, Marinette interrupted him.

"Please don't call them that." Marinette averted her eyes. Bruce nodded, understanding her feelings. What the fuck was even happening anymore. Marinette had no idea. Life actually stopped making sense when she discovered that her boyfriend was Red Robin.

Marinette motioned for Bruce to come in and sit down and he began speaking again "So yeah, I heard that you know who, isn't a human? I know that it must be hard. Because you loved him. And uh, I won't say that I understand all of this because I obviously don't, and um. I don't think I have anything else to say." Bruce said, getting up. Marinette got up too and slipped on him. Bruce caught her but Marinette fell on him and before she could comprehend what happened Bruce, or the bats, flew out from the cloak he wore.

Bruce wasn't real either! He was also a bat. Not one bat, 100 bats! what the fuck is happening!? Marinette couldn't contain her scream this time and she screamed and ran away. She wanted to just go home. She wanted to forget about all of this. Just wanted to sleep and wake up to everything normal. No duck boyfriend, no vampire bat human and no Donald Jason. Well, the last one hasn't been proven yet but given the circumstances it may as well be true.

She was about to run out of the manor Alfred stopped her. "Ms. Marinette, please sit down. Dinner would be served soon."

"I-uh, I have to go." Marinette said, fiddling with the hem of shirt. Alfred raised an eyebrow.

"It's very late right now Ms. Marinette, I can't let you go out in this dangerous city alone." Marinette couldn't disagree with Alfred and if she doesn't include the whole duck and bats situation, it was a win. Alfred's cooking was to die for. Marinette sighed and went to the dining table.

There she saw that the ducks (again in the costume) and the bats (also in the costume) were already seated. She almost went to her usual seat next to Tim but decided against it and got seated leaving a gap of two seats between them. Alfred raised an eyebrow but didn't comment otherwise.

One by one everyone (they were all staying at the manor for a while, even Jason. Courtesy of Dick) shuffled in the room. They all looked at her but didn't say anything. Well unless Jason came.

Jason whistled "What's up Replacement? What did you do to anger Pixie-Pop? Huh? You two are not being all sickenly sweet and lovey dovey like usual."

The ducks scowled at him, "I don't wanna talk about it." They glanced at her but went back to their food. Marinette felt kinda bad for them, but then remembered that they hid something so big from her.

Marinette didn't feel like eating, the food Alfred made was obviously delicious but she just wasn't hungry anymore. The occupants in this house were, she didn't even know what to say anymore. Not human? Why would someone lie about being human? That's just, kwami she didn't know what to say. Like, ducks and bats are cool but there's a fucking line. You don't pretend to be human.

Marinette wanted to groan loudly, what the fuck was happening!? This is all so weird. She was snapped out of her thoughts by Damian and the duck's voice fighting "They won't let me pet them father!"

"Damian, what the hell are you talking about!?" The bats were done.

"Drake is three ducks in a trench coat!"

"Get off me!"

"Let me pet you!"

"Damian! Get off Tim!" Dick rushed to his side trying to detach them. He pulled a thrashing Damian and Tim straightened his clothes. "Grayson, let me go!" Damian started kicking Dick but he kept his grip strong. "Dupain-Cheng! Drake is lying to you! He is not a human!"

"What are you talking about Damian?" Dick was confused, really confused. Damian always fought with Tim but he never said something like this. How can Tim not be a human!? "Damian, are you okay?"

"I think you should get some sleep demon spawn, you're behaving weird."

"Shut up Todd!" Damian snarled at Jason. Jason rolled his eyes, used to it all. Marinette had a turmoil growing inside her. Damian knew? All this time, Damian knew!? And he was mad because the ducks won't let him pet them?

Okay, her life couldn't be anymore fucked up now. "Master Tim, are you okay?" Alfred helped them get up from the floor.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks." They smiled at Alfred and went back to the table. Everyone was soon settled back.

"You've been awfully quiet today Sunshine. Is everything okay?" Dick looked at her concerned.

"Let her chill Goldie. She and Timbo had a fight." Marinette sighed internally. This wasn't true but it stopped Dick from pestering her. As soon as she had finished her meal she stood up and went to the guest room she was in before. This earned her some weird looks but they let it slide.

She sat there, her head was spinning, she felt overwhelmed from all of this. Nothing was making sense. Her head was spinning so fast that she blacked out.

Marinette woke up with a start. Tim's arms were wrapped around her protectively. Thankfully, that was all a very weird nightmare. Or was it? What if she wasn't dreaming and they used a machine on her to make it seem like it!?

She heard a groan from her side. "Bean, what happened?" Tim asked groggily. Tim was sleeping, that's a sign of danger if she had ever seen one.

"Nothing mon canard, go back to sleep. I just had a very weird dream." Tim hummed and hugged her tighter. She also went back to sleep. She needed it.

When they woke up the second time Marinette had some questions prepared. "Sooo Tim, have you been craving any bread recently?" Tim gave her a weird look.

"Bean, you okay? You know I don't like bread. Why would I crave bread?"

"Nothing, just had a thought."

"O…kay"

"Well, wanna go swimming in a pond? Have the urge to quack?"

"Mari, is this some kind of weird joke? I get it that my last name means duck but I am not a real duck." Tim asked, glaring at her. Marinette just cheekily smiled at him and went to search for Bruce.

"So, Bruce, I had some questions." Bruce raised an eyebrow at her.

"Go ahead."

"Do you like blood? As in its taste?" Bruce spat out the coffee he was drinking and started coughing.

"Marinette, are you okay?"

"Yep! Anyways, have you been hitting any blood banks recently? Have the urge to tangle your feet in someone's hair? Can you like, see or do you use echolocation?"

Bruce gave her a look which said 'are you okay? Do we need to get you checked? Did you hit your head somewhere?' Marinette just smiled at him.

Bruce just called for Tim and he came rushing down minutes after. "Bruce what happened?" Tim asked, concerned. When Bruce pointed at Mari, Tim knew what was the case.

"Come on Bean, you are gonna stay in bed all day." Tim put one hand on her shoulder and started leading her back to their room. On their way they bumped into Damian.

"Hey Damian!" Marinette chirply waved to him.

"Dupain-Cheng." Damian nodded in acknowledgement.

"Can I ask you something?" Marinette asked. Tim's face paled.

"No, Bean you're sick, let's go to bed. You need sleep." Tim said, pulling her.

"Just one question?" Marinette looked at him with those puppy eyes that he couldn't resist. He sighed and gave in.

"You may ask your question, Dupain-Cheng."

"Is there any particular reason you hate Tim? Do you secretly like him?" Damian glared at Marinette.

"I hate Drake because he is incompetent and not worthy of father's time. Do you want any other reason?"

"Bean, let's just go." Tim finally dragged her to the room and settled her onto the bed.

"What are your thoughts about trench coats? Would you ever wear one?" Tim knew that something was wrong with his girlfriend. He just jumped on the bed with her and cuddled her back to sleep. That's really the only thing he could do.

🐕 dog emoji to apologize

[failing-to-write-again]

Sakamaki Character Analysis: Beabitch's Boys

Like ok so there's loads of scenarios/fanfics about the Sakamaki Bros helping the reader when they're depressed and similar situations to that but like actually thinking on it it's completely backwards and really unhealthy for that to be happening. So here's my in-depth analysis before I probably write a fic about it:

Shu:

ok so Shu is definitely dealing with depression and has been for a very long time without any form of actual help. As a child he did receive praise however he was never allowed to have interest and other career goals, it was only ever the vampire crown because Beatrix (henceforth called Beabitch in this) only cared about showing she was the best. Then he makes an actual friend who doesn't see him as a tool to complete their aims or to brag about. Reiji's jealousy (discussed later) then results in the village getting burner down and the assumed death or Edgar (I have many thoughts on this).

So Shu has been treated as a tool in someone else's game and the one time he makes a friend who actually cares about him, they die. That fucks up kids especially when you're a scared little kid and so, completely understandably, freeze that creates feelings of guilt. Shu lacks any motivation he doesn't see why he should do anything as all he'll get are hollow praise for people who want to use him to brag or be scoffed at by Reiji if he fails. Anytime he's tried doing stuff he likes it's backfired and as a result he lacks any motivation and is probably very depressed.

Then comes the music, I have a lot of trouble with intrusive thoughts/anxiety/depression and guess what my coping mechanism is? I put in earphones and drown out everything. My earphones are basically surgically attached to my neck/ears. Now I take em off when I'm doing something I enjoy as then I distracted, but other then that they're always on. Now think about Shu and how much this parallels him except he doesn't even have anything he likes he can do without music.

Shu needs someone to notice this and get him out of the funk. Find things he can do without earphones, slowly get him to open up. And most importantly someone who won't give out to him for sleeping too much or cancelling plans due to this sleeping. If he's feeling worse then normal giving out to him will only make him feel worse. He needs the understanding of "I'm here, the restaurant will always be there next week. C'mon let's go sit outside and I can tell you about the different constellations" now look at what that does. It validates his importance to you as a person, not as a boyfriend tool, not as a bragging right, AS A PERSON. It shows you want him there because it's him, as well as this you're not letting him stay in the funk but you're not pushing him too far. Sitting outside to escape the atmosphere of the mansion and Reiji's glares, and you talking about something he can listen to as a distraction but not his coping mechanism of music.

Shu wouldn't be able to help a person with depression as he himself has depression so severe it's heavily affecting his life. Shu is not perfect and his behavior definitely can't be excused completely but the approach shouldn't be screaming or berating but slow understanding with limits. "No you can't touch my butt while I read to you. [ignore him when he tries calling you lewd women or being pervy]. I said no touching my butt, [walk to another spot to sit and continue to read to him from a distance] apologise and I'll come back." He needs to not just receive praise, the fact you give limits gives him structure. People can't be allowed do what they want without consequence.

Reiji:

Now I know it seems I gave Reiji shit in Shu's one about the glares and all that but I'm not salty about it because it's clear Reiji is also in desperate need of help. We all are aware he didn't receive any attention from his mother and Shu was clearly favoured, although I don't think he fully understands why his mother preferred Shu as Reiji feels jealous of Shu as opposed to solely blaming his mother.

So as I've said before, Beabitch didn't really love Shu, and definitely not Reiji. She loved what Shu did to her status, she's the first wife of the vampire king and gave birth to the next one blah blah blah. I don't think Reiji fully understands this as he feels Shu just rejected all of Beabitch's love, not realising this was because Shu knew he wasn't loved for him, he was loved for his royal blood.

Reiji also has never had ANYONE to care for him, he's essentially the head of the household with organization and discipline. He does everything and gets no thanks or even really recognition for it. This results in him pushing away any form of positive attention unknowingly and assuming it's pity or because he's rich. The one thing is craves is what he can't take. He doesn't know what it's like to be loved or appreciated other then teachers praise over grades.

Reiji can't just have a hype partner, that's unhealthy for him to be dependent on one person like that. Instead he needs simple care, coming to talk to him over his brothers, saying thank you when he helps and telling him how you appreciate him, offering to help cook dinner (even if he refuses, it's about showing you care rather then taking over his duties). That being said DO NOT PANDER TO BAD BEHAVIOR. No he can not hit you/drug you/berate you (as in telling you you're nothing over being human, not regular kinda cold person things like "why are you hugging me I'm busy go bother someone else...NO WAIT DON'T GO I'M LONELY") and get cuddles afterwards. He will soon learn that being slightly cold but a gentleman will get him love, aka the parts of his personality that aren't harmful to have necessarily. So the being weird with PDA, liking teapots and being smart, the manners, the sarcasm. Those get a pass. But the hitting, drugging, telling you you're worthless just because you're human, etc etc etc that shit won't get him the result he wants; attention. He's a scientist so this will make him think he's figured this all out on his own even though you're probably pretty aware that you're teaching him how to be a better person in a healthier way.

Now once you're dating and he begins opening up I think it's important you try slip in the idea Shu wasn't loved for being a son, but because he was useful for Beabitch. You and Shu's therapy friend or s/o should try foster a less hateful relationship. I don't expect them to be best buds anything soon or maybe ever, but having Reiji not want to destroy Shu and Shu not feeling drained or expecting a verbal smack around is definitely something that is good for them. We see in one route of the games for Reiji (forgot which one maybe it's in more blood?) Reiji actually accepts the role of advisor to Shu and we see Shu's shock when Reiji changes a plan to suit Shu better, we also see Shu show he appreciates it in a fairly backwards Shu way. THIS IS WHAT'S NEEDED! They don't need loving brother relationship necessarily but they need some level of trust and understanding.

in conclusion I love both of these boys but they need love first before I can start begging for attention.

AIGHT IMA SPLIT THIS BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT TO COVER! NEXT WILL BE CUNTDELIA'S SPAWN.

[crookswithbooks]

The Warmth of the Dead

Day Three - Vampires are cold and Bella doesn’t like the snow.

The snow formed a soft blanket over the town of Forks. The trees, which before had been a dense forest of green, now canopied an umbrella of white over curious animals. It was cold out, the kind of cold that seeped through your skin and into your bones. It was days like this that Bella really missed Phoenix where winter was merely a slight breeze.

It didn’t help, either, when your boyfriend was like ice to the touch and insisted on cuddling.

“Edward,” Bella whined, attempting to slide out of the porcelain arms encircling her. “You’re freezing.”

“It’s hardly my fault you still experience the cold,” Edward protested moodily. He didn’t mean for the attitude, but it was difficult when your girlfriend stopped wanting to physically touch you for three months out of a year. “Why don’t you just put a jacket on?”

“First of all, it literally is your fault, Mr. Waiting-Till-Marriage,” Bella pointed out bitterly. She shifted in his arms, bringing her shoulders in closer in order to preserve warmth. “Second of all, you whine the entire time I do wear a jacket.”

Unable to deny the fact, Edward merely scowled out the window, hugging her tighter to him. Though at the beginning of their relationship it had been difficult for the two of them to be near each other, now that Edward had developed better control over his hunger Bella quickly discovered how addicted to physical contact the boy was. Sometimes she joked that he just wanted to be closer to her for her blood, but Edward never found the joke as amusing.

Bella crossed her arms with a sigh, settling back into him indulgently. Though if she really wanted to she could have made him let go, she knew that it made him happy and in turn that made her happy. She soon regretted this decision, however, as Edward slipped his hands under her shirt, his fingers icicles against her sides.

“Ah!” she hissed, arching forehead. “Cold, cold, cold!”

“But you’re warm,” Edward insisted, snuggling into her and leaning his head against the nape of her neck. He could hear the blood pulsing through her body, increased rapidly due to his presence, and this close up the scent was intoxicating. Strangely, though, he found himself relaxing into the aroma instead of being tormented by it like in the beginning. It was like lighting a maple candle. He smiled at the metaphor, knowing Bella would probably be less than happy about being compared to a candle.

Bella paused at the sentence. She knew vampires could experience sensation the way humans could, sometimes better even than humans, but the thought of still craving warmth yet never being able to provide it yourself had never occurred to her. She tilted her head to glance back at him, her eyebrows drawn down in concern. “Do you ever miss it?”

Edward’s eyes were closed, lulled to the closest form of sleep he could manage, but he opened them reluctantly at her question. “Miss what?”

“Being warm,” she explained, taking one of his hands into her own, intertwining their fingers. “Experiencing heat. Feeling blood, your own blood, rushing through your veins, a reminder that you’re still alive.”

The question underneath her sentence, do you miss being alive, was not hidden to Edward. He stilled, contemplating the question, and Bella instantly wanted to take her words back. Possibly that had been an insensitive question. It was difficult to talk about death with other people, let alone dead creatures that were actually dead. She squeezed his hand, a silent assurance.

“Sometimes,” he said after a while, after she had given up hope on him answering. “I enjoy being a vampire, the parts of it that don’t include killing anyways. I like being stronger than my peers and racing animals in the forest, or how mindreading lets me know things about people without ever having to talk to them. But there are things about being human that I miss, all the silly things like falling out of a tree and scraping your knee or the breathlessness of a first kiss. I miss the feeling of being alive and knowing that each moment might be your last and therefore having to make them all count.

“I do miss being warm, too,” he conceded, but then he turned her around so that they were eye to eye. Bella’s lips were parted in unconscious expectation, her face flushed, and if Edward’s heart was still functioning it would have stopped in that moment. His next words were honest and nervous but it felt right saying them. “That’s what I like most about you. Your humanity, flawed and unpredictable and… warm.”

Often it was Edward who kissed Bella first, a side-effect of trying to keep himself under control, so when she leaned forward suddenly and pressed their lips together it came as a surprise. His fingers tightened around her hand. Her kissed her back, tentatively, the kiss all at once gentle and terrified.

“Why don’t we be warm together then?” Bella suggested when they finally pulled back, her hands sliding up under his shirt this time and onto the taut skin of his back.

He shook his head at her, though he was smiling. “You’re very strange, Bella Swan.”

“As you are you, spawn of Satan.”

He laughed and the rest of the evening was lost to them.

[malereader-inserts]

Intertwined

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries / The Originals Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Male!Reader Summary: The best place to be is in his arms, and the best thing to be doing is with him Word Count: 1,348 Request: @will-grammer  “I know I already sent one a while back but may I ask for Elijah Mikaelson x male reader where the reader is human and they're spending some time apart since he's is working, but they can't stop thinking about each other throughout the day? Reader shows up at the mansion with flowers just to find out Elijah has made him dinner and invites him to stay the night, saying he missed him? Lots of fluff, basically. Would that be alright?” A/n: I added your first request but it was a lot to add in the Request section and slightly tweaked your second request sorry! I MOVE TO MY UNI ACCOMMODATION TODAY AROUND LUNCH TIME. HIGH KEY TERRIFIED OF MEETING MY FLAT MATES

Elijah and you had, and always will be, a very affectionate couple. 

It sickens Klaus to no end, and he’s convinced that you do all the affection in front of him to spite him - which was both true and untrue. You two have always been the need for touch, Elijah had grown up in a time that affection was seen as weakness, he’ a thousand years old, a touch from another is just another fog memory to him.

It’s a way to reassure him that you were still there for him, still wanting him, still loving him. Mystic Falls was known for its sunshine town, but there were days when the town was unfortunate to experience its rainy days. That doesn’t stop you from infiltrating your boyfriend’s mansion to do nothing but cuddle him. 

It’s the rainy days, he enjoys the most. But, any days that he spends with you he enjoys the most. But, when it’s just you two in the house with the faint noise of the tv, in the embrace of each other. Tangles limbs as your back support upon his chest. His arms finding home around you.

Those were the moments he loves the most, it natural and simple. 

Sometimes, you would have a book on your lap and you would read out loud to him. He likes how you talk and tell stories, how you emphasis certain parts of the words due to your accent and he smiles to himself, thinking how pure you are. There are times that he would read out loud to you, his English accent drawling out words. 

There are times where you would be nursing a mug of hot beverage whilst watching movies with Elijah. Rainy days were for pure relaxations so it never bothered the two of you to actually relax despite the world still spinning. But, rainy days involves more interruptions as the house would be full of the Mikaelson siblings.

“Gross!” Kol hollers at the two of you as he goes up the stairs, “We all live here, Elijah!”

“Barely,” Elijah muttered as you chuckled.

Looking up at him, you stare at him upside down with a lopsided smile. You puckered up your lips wanting a kiss. He beams as he pulls his head down to lace your lips with his sweetness.

“You’re a sap for me, Elijah,” You muses out, shifting so you were chest to chest, you looked at him, ignoring the patter of rain upon the window panes, “I think your siblings are getting concern you aren’t that big bad vampire you used to be.”

“Maybe, darling,” He drawls out with a toothy smug grin, “I’m ready to retire from that title.”

“Huh,” You scoffed, shaking your head, “I found that side of you very sexy, it would be shameful if you lose it.”

“Go flirt somewhere else!” Rebekah shouted from her room, groaning, “Take your sex life out this house!”

You chuckled, “I swear your siblings are disgustedly minded,” as Elijah smiles as you rolled your eyes, “I wasn’t even insinuating anything to the connotation of sex!”

Whilst the pair of you were giggling, you could hear the siblings arguing upstairs. Your peaceful afternoon is often lead to calming the temper younger siblings, and yet, you wouldn’t change a thing.

Recently, Elijah had to go to New Orleans after hearing some news about an uproar against Klaus. Whilst he was busy with work, having a few minutes to text you or even call you, facetime wasn’t even on the table since he was too busy. It was a bit disheartening that you two didn’t get enough time to spend time.

So, you thought after not having enough contact with your boyfriend for almost three weeks you decided to pack your bags for a bit and go to New Orleans yourself. You were well aware that Elijah was safe, you did hear the scandal of Klaus selling his brother’s decomposing body - which you almost marched yourself to New Orleans to scold at him and kick his arse. 

But, Elijah was well and safe, as for now, but is on protecting the family with Hayley carrying Klaus’ spawn. And, you were well acquainted with the dangers, you’ve seen danger and faced it yourself when the Mikaelson occupied Mystic Falls, so you thought, how bad could New Orleans be?

You knew where Elijah was staying, in fact, you got that intel from Klaus himself. Klaus had been pissed off with Elijah, he had resorted to complaining about his brother to you.

There hasn’t been a day in the world that you have stopped thinking about Elijah, he is a constant in your mind. You wonder if he thinks about you as much as you think about him.

You hope he does, that the feeling is mutual rather than one-sided.

So, as you drive up to New Orleans, you got to explore the lovely city. And stopping by to buy flowers. Pink Camellia, after a length lecture by the florist of the meaning, you found out it means longing. Which, you were, you longed for the embrace from Elijah.

All set to see him, the stomach acid rumbles making you feel nervous. You hadn’t been this nervous since you went out on your first date with Elijah. You held the flowers tightly as you double-check your phone to make sure this is the correct address that Klaus had sent you.

Just as you stood under the archway you found yourself smiling upon the sight of a certain man.

“Elijah!” You called out as Elijah snaps his head up from the papers, lying around the table in the middle of the courtyard.

You see him look confused for a moment but when his eyes settle on you, the brightest smile was painted his lips.

“(Y/n)!”

With his long legs, he strides over to you and engulfs into a massive hug. You held your arms above your head and around his neck, hoping it wouldn’t crush the flowers. Moving slightly back to leave a gap, you smiled at him as you pulled him into a kiss.

“Hey,” You say with a charming smile upon parting from the kiss, “I got you flowers.”

Elijah looks down at the flowers in your hands, smiling as he takes them, kissing you on your temple, “Thank you, my love. I’m guessing you’ve made the conscious decision you’re staying?”

“Elijah, dear,” You exaggerated the dear and gave him a pointed look, as he chuckles, “I did not drive for so long to not stay over.”

“Good,” Elijah muses out, his hand upon your waist and pulling you close, “I’ll make us dinner then.”

Leaning against each other’s forehead, staring into each other’s eyes with such adoration. Excitement bubbled inside you for the days you’ve been longing to spend time with Elijah. Just as Elijah was about to pull you into another kiss, you were interrupted.

“Well!” Klaus’ voice rang out from the balcony, making the pair of you look up at him with slight irritation, “If it isn’t the most loved up boyfriend reunited, charming.”

“Hi, Klaus,” You greeted with a smile as Elijah sighs exasperatedly.

The little brother started to walk down the stairs with a smug grin, “Oh, Elijah, you can’t be annoyed at me, I’m only being the best brother by sending (Y/n) the address to our lovely home.”

“That is true,” You nodded as Elijah looked surprised, “You should give him a little credit, and I thank you, Klaus.”

Klaus looked smug, his hands behind his back as he stood straight before you as Elijah locks his jaw, both unimpressed with his brother's antics but also touched at his nice gesture. Perhaps, Klaus does have a soft spot for love than he says.

“Well, run along with you two, I’m sure New Orleans won’t collapse on us whilst you’re catching up, big brother.”

You looked at Elijah with hopeful shining eyes, “Come, you have to show me around.”

Elijah smiles down at you and sighs, giving in, “Alright, don’t do anything stupid.”

“Can’t promise that, brother.”

[icyhotheartwritings]

Vote for what I should finish first!

1: Katsuki talks to Eijirou while he’s asleep. Reveals he’s soft as shit for him. Surprise! Eijirou thought it was just a fucking dream, but he was definitely awake.

2: Picture this. UA during a break. 6 students and 2 teachers stay at the school for various reasons. Then, gasp, villains! They have to fight to survive and meet up at the main building. Bakugou, Kirishima, Tetsutetsu, Neito, Shinsou, Kaminari, Aizawa, and Hizashi. Starting with EraserMic and KiriBaku, ShinKami may develop. Someone definitely dies.

3: Kinky as shit ShinKami. Featuring 90% of the kinks people told me when I asked.

4: Shinsou’s depressed as hell. The class yells “get that boy the support he deserves!”

5: Kirishima has the worst nightmare he’s ever had. Bakugou just holds him and helps him calm down again.

6: 5+1, Kaminari helps the Bakusquad when they have problems, then they help him.

7: Kaminari can’t sleep. Shinsou helps him. This is gonna be soft as shit.

8: Kirishima is fucking pissed and is taking out his anger on his punching bag. Bakugou is mad because he’s being loud as hell. Comfort happens.

9: File name “Make Shippeh Sob” Tetsumina. Featuring a Mina that’s with Tetsu because Kiri was taken and one “Don’t you fucking dare jump!”

10: Someone goes and leaves sweet notes on the doors of everyone in 1A. They try and figure out who did it so they can shower them in love and affection.

11: 5+1, 5 times Kirishima helps his classmates, 1 time they help him.

12: Kaminari jokes that Bakugou doesn’t really need him. Bakugou goes on a quest to prove him wrong. Maybe a marriage proposal. Maybe.

13: There’s a love letter on Kiri’s desk. Kami tells him to go get that dick. Kiri goes to get the dick, oops, it’s Kami’s dick.

14: KiriKamiBaku, soulmate AU. Game designer Kami has 2 soulmarks, the first drawing he’ll see from his soulmates. He goes to Ground Zero tattoo to get his first tattoo, Bakugou goes apeshit on him because he’s got the same tattoo his popular bodybuilder boyfriend has. It’s explained, they go meet Kiri, Kiri shows them his drawing of Red Riot, Kami offers to make it a game character, Bakugou scoffs (“your boss won’t let you”), Kami opens his phone to show them he OWNS the game company, oops his lock screen image is on Kiri and Baku’s hips. This one is like the closest to being done.

15: Kiri and Baku are on patrol. Some random 14 year old comes up to them, asks how it was when they came out as gay. They share and give him their phone numbers since he said he’s gonna come out to his parents. He calls them after it goes to hell and oops, they’re adopting a child.

16: A sequel to Still Here. Lots of I love yous and sex. And cuddling. And Bakubro being sappy as fuck.

17: A weird little idea I had where every hero (and those close to them) have a special afterlife. This one would just be like a series of people reuniting.

18: Shinsou goes to talk to Kaminari. Kaminari is singing with his back to the door. Except he’s changing the lyrics to make the love songs about Shinsou.

19: Mina’s a little shit and decided to make her classmates get together using party games such as marry, fuck, kill and 7 minutes in heaven.

20: Shinsou dates all of class 1A, minus Mineta, plus Tetsutetsu. All he wants to do is figure out if Kami’s gay and if he has a chance. And maybe help his friends figure out how to date. That too.

21: Bakugou x Kirishima x Kaminari x Shinsou Vampire AU. Kirishima and Shinsou are vampires. I’m really not sure what spawned this or where it’s going.

22: Kiri falls asleep EVERYWHERE. And on everyone. Potential KiriBaku. I haven’t decided.

23: Todoroki x Sero smut. Haven’t really got into the plot.

24: Todoroki x Kaminari Soulmate AU. They share scars. It’s very obvious when they walk into class for the first time.