#Ooc; duh

[ask-melody-hayes]

melody, help a fellow lesbian out, what are your best flirts?

sincerely your friendly resident loser lesbian

Uh. I just sort of say things and hope Phoebe gets flustered.

I don’t know if I have anything specific.

[sparrowchute]

That season finale wasn't real and it can't hurt me

[axnewxera]

// I've been deep in thought the last few days about Rufus and his character. I just started this blog and I'm still fleshing out my muse in my head.

So. I'mma dump some of my headcanon on the character, and this WILL affect how I RP him and this WILL get long and ranty.

(I'm sorry if the format is wonky, I'm laying in bed on mobile. Also spoilers of pretty much all FF7 media ahoy)

In the original game (and arguably in different levels in other media since then), Rufus is definitely presented as a villain.

His big introduction in the original game has him giving off this big speech to the party about how his father was too soft on the world with propaganda and narrative control and intended to instead rule through fear and intimidation. He stages a public execution of our party members late in the game. He tries to take Cid's plane instead of reviving the space program. He sent Cait Sith to act as a Shinra spy on our party (or at least was aware of this, as the Turks actively follow Cait Sith's intel). He bankrolled Avalanche to essentially backstab his father! He's very manipulative and deceitful and you can never quite trust him!

But honestly..... Nothing he's actually done has me convinced that he was ever actually a bad guy.

Yes, he SAYS how bad he is when you first meet him in the original. He definitely seems to WANT to be the big villain of the series. But Sephiroth's greater threat to the planet aside... Rufus is just not that guy.

Is Shinra, Inc. evil? Oh hell yeah. Heidegger, Scarlet? Yup. Hojo? LOL

But almost IMMEDIATELY after becoming president, Rufus started suppressing Heidegger and (presumably) Scarlet. Heidegger seemed to be THE dude for President Shinra. The two were very much in alignment in their goals and methods. And Rufus lowers him by berating him and never taking him seriously. Not to mention the fact that he basically started an eco-terrorist group to get his heartless evil father gone.

Even though he starts off saying how little the common people mean to him, his goals from very early on are to protect the world from Sephiroth, and to spearhead the effort to find the Promised Land. Even his execution of Barrett and Tifa is an attempt to comfort the people (and, I suspect, to draw Cloud out of hiding) - but he never seems too upset that they escaped the attempt. Or that Cait Sith remains on the party after his usefulness as a spy was over.

He comes off as arrogant and tricky, he sure does some mean things... but his intentions are noble, and his known tendency to play both sides of any conflict - secretly funding Avalanche, secretly funding the World Regenesis Organization, whatever amazing shenanigans are going on in the remakes with Wutai and Viceroy Sarruf - has me doubting that the "evil" stuff like the execution were even intended to actually take place. He's pulling strings to get people where he wants them.

Rufus can't just SAY what he wants. Advent Children is a good example - his intentions are much more openly "good", but no one believes him and there's all this doubt and "What is he really up to?" that swirl around his character. When it counted, he seemed surprisingly honest, yet it just pushed Cloud away.

If he came out as the president of this huge evil corporation and laid out his noble intentions to the world, everyone would doubt him every step of the way and his plans would never get done. Not to mention the very likely possibility that Heidegger and Scarlet and whatever supporters President Shinra still had would stage some sort of coup against him in that event. He still has to be a Shinra. So he does it to play the game, give the world or sometimes our party a villain to unite against, and get things done.

I also think Rufus sees HIMSELF as a villain, even though his intentions are pure. He's a Shinra, after all, and was raised by his father to be this heartless embodiment of pride and corporation. All that lying and manipulating and double-dealing leaves a mark on the psyche. He is fully comfortable presenting himself as the villain because he believes that's who he is, but he disagrees with his father's goals and methods so much that he actively sabotages himself.

I'm not sure if any of this was the writers' actual intent or if it's just all my interpretation, buuuuuut that's the fun of RP right? Getting to dig deeper and assign your own spin on the character.

[aquarika]

*Sound warning ?*

[valeria-fortnite]

I have a moment to post while I'm oh-so busy but I thought to make it more clear: The Butterfly Oasis gathering is happening on friday!

Be sure to stay in the loop and join us, if you were around before the gods then you know how properly I can throw a party. ;)

[autistichalsin]

.

[milkteethss]

i'm now on holiday from work until next monday so i will be around a lot more this week!! pls let me know if u want to plot, especially if it's historical or fantasy!!!!

[scalproie]

Jun: I would be so good as your dead wife.

Kazuya: Jun...

Jun: Remember when we went on that walk in the woods and I ran a few paces ahead before looking back at you with a smile? Oh yeah you'll be thinking about that for years after I'm gone.

Kazuya: Jun go back to sleep...

[eynsavalow]

Been watching TNG and I wish they'd kept the unisex miniskirts past season 1

[54prowl]

rereading your own writing thinking it's banger after banger after banger

[exponentialb-zukas]

ever had to drive Rocket to a Phight? how did that go?

Awkward and quiet most of the time, but it's not in away where I'd be furious at him. I cant control the kid's life.

I only nagged him, considering the fact of how reckless he is with those rockets. No matter how many times I tell him off, it barely goes through that skull of his.

[daandova]

thank you guys, btw, for like. . . giving val the time of day. really writing her over the past few months, between trying her out in the bg3 fandom then moving her back in elder scrolls where she belongs, has fueled a lot of happiness and joy on my end. she's been my brain nugget for years so finally being able to explore her more has really flexed my creative muscle. i think about her constantly. and i just want to thank you again for giving her a chance and liking my metas and plotting with me, it's probably one of the better 'female oc' experiences i've had so far here and i'm trying really hard to pay it forward.

[caesurah-tblr]

Not this fic almost hitting 2k words… Fellow Armored-Phesant lovers, I offer you this angsty fic from an aroace person who knows nothing about love but tries to write about it anyways. Tell me how close I got, okay?

This does contain slight spoilers for episode 10 but not really at the same time. Read at your own risk.

“Grefgor?”

“Yes, my Prince?”

“May I speak to you?” Shilo asks. “Privately.” He tacks on, his one eye darting over to Hazel.

“Of course my Prince!” Grefgor stands, placing a quick kiss on the top of Hazel’s head before gesturing Shilo to follow him.

The flat is small, but there’s a small concrete balcony. It, like the rest of the house, is as nicely decorated as it seems it can be. Not as nice as the castle, but not cold like it either. It’s homey and warm in a way the castle never was, and the thought makes Shilo’s chest hurt.

Grefgor pulls out one of the chairs but Shilo shakes his head, quietly refusing the offer and instead choosing to stand. He looks up at his loyal guard, fighting the urge to cover his eye. He has to be strong for this.

“You’re happy?” He asks, his voice breaking just the smallest amount.

“Very, my Prince!” Grefgor gives him a big smile as he brushes his hair out of his eyes. “I’ve missed you, my Prince! Both of my Princes, of course, but you more so!”

There it is again- that twisting in his gut that feels both soft like velvet and as sharp as a stake.

“And she makes you happy?”

Grefgor nods excitedly. “Yes, my Prince! She means everything to me! I know that I do not have good enough wealth to wed her yet, but I will one day!”

“That…” The pain in his chest grows, and Shilo has to place a hand against it to ensure there isn’t actually a stake sticking through him. There isn’t, of course, but for some reason he’d rather there be. “That is good. I think it is time then.”

“Time for what, my Prince?”

“It is time to let you go. You have served my mother. And you have served me. But now? It is time to serve yourself. I am revoking your guard status. Honorably, of course.”

“My Prince-“

“Shilo. Please call me Shilo.” He croaks the words out, trying but failing to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. Grefgor reaches for him, but he brushes the hand away.

“You have served me well.” Another hand reaches toward him and he takes it. “And you have served my brother well. But you’re happier here than you would ever be at my side, and I cannot allow my needs to get in the way of that.”

Shilo squeezes the hand. “My mother was a strong leader, and I wish to be like that. But I will not be the type of leader that makes people stay by his side against their will. So I do this, not for me, but for you.”

Grefgor looks crestfallen, his face twisted up in an expression of pure anguish. Shilo is sure he could fall dead in front of him at this very moment and he would be hard pressed to look more distraught than he does now.

“But- my Prince- I am happy! I always have been happy at your side!” Grefgor grabs both of Shilo’s hands in his own. “There is not a moment that goes by where I do not want to serve you, my Prince. If my heart did beat, every beat would be yours to command.”

Shilo grits his teeth against the feeling in his chest. What is it? This soft feeling? This warmth? It makes him feel so human with the way it both soothes and hurts him. He never wants to feel it again, but he also aches for it. His heart thunders in his chest.

“I want to ensure you are happy.” Shilo can’t look at Grefgor anymore, so he looks down at their entangled hands. “And you cannot be truly happy with me. I do this so that you may be happy and safe. By revoking your status, I also revoke any involvement I have with you, thus marking you as safe from anything Edward might have planned. This is how it is meant to be.”

“My Prince-“

“Give me your crest. Please.” Shilo pulls his hands away, missing the slight warmth their cold skin had managed to create. He tucks them against his chest, rubbing them together to try and get that feeling back.

Grefgor stands in front of him silently for a few moments before he pulls a bundle of cloth from his pocket. He unwinds what Shilo realizes to be a bundle of silk to reveal the Venture crest, still as nice as the day he had received it.

Shilo takes it in shaking hands, squeezing the metal between them before sliding it into his pocket.

“Thank you, Grefgor.”

“Of course, my Prin- Shilo.”

Shilo can’t help it- he lets out a wail before throwing himself at Grefgor, wrapping his arms around the man who was once his loyal guard. Arms wrap around him in return, and Shilo feels his heart give a twinge of pain that makes him cry harder.

“Hey, we’re back- oh.”

Shilo pulls himself away from Grefgor, wiping the blood from his face in vain as he turns to his brother. Emizel looks shocked, eyebrows raised as he takes in the scene in front of him.

“Everything okay out here? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

“No.” Shilo brushes past his brother, making his way to the front door. “Shall we get going? I assume you hav found a place for us to stay.”

“Uh, yeah? You coming Grefgor?”

“No. I will be staying here.” Grefgor’s voice is wet in a way that Shilo knows his own voice has to be, and he hates it. He hates that he has caused Grefgor so much hurt, but he knows this has to be done.

“Okay… See you around then.” Emizel bumps him through the open front door and out onto the stairs that he quickly walks down. As soon as his brother meets him at the foot of them, Shilo grabs his hand.

To his surprise, Emizel doesn’t pull away. Instead, he intertwines their fingers and gives his hand a squeeze as he pulls them down the sidewalk to their destination.

“What happened?”

Shilo reaches out his other hand and grabs his brother’s forearm, seeking comfort. “I revoked his guard status so that he may be happy with his girlfriend.”

“And he let you do that without a fight? I can’t imagine him just letting you do that.”

“It wasn’t without fight.” Shilo tells him. “Emizel, he told me he was happy with her. Then he told me that if he had a heartbeat, that it would be mine to command. And I don’t understand what he meant by that, and I don’t understand the weird feeling I get in my chest when he says these things.”

Emizel stops and lets out a groan before pulling Shilo over to a bench and pushing him down onto it.

“Shilo, listen to me.” Emizel sits next him, eyes sunken and tired. “I’m just gonna give it to you straight- I mean, it’s not really- whatever. You’re in love with Grefgor.”

Shilo blinks, confused. “Love? That is not possible.”

“How is it not?”

“Well, vampires cannot feel love.” Shilo says in confidence. He remembers asking his uncle about love once, when he was very young. The book had been taken from him, and he had been given a long-winded speech about how vampires don’t have the capacity to love someone, and that his mother and himself only loved Shilo because they were his family.

“Who told you that?” Emizel is giving him that look that he always gives Shilo after he says something that sounds stupid. Shilo can’t help but take a little offense.

“Our Uncle. He says that vampires cannot love, and that only he and my mother love me because it is different.”

“Well, do you love me?” Emizel asks, and Shilo tilts his head thoughtfully. Does he love his brother? He cares for him, sure. He doesn’t want to see anything happen to him, and being around his brother does bring him joy.

“Yes.” He decides after awhile. “I do love you. But again, it is different. You are my brother.”

“It is different, yeah.” Emizel agrees. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t feel anything outside of familial love. I love you, but I also love Theo, and even though it’s the same word it means something different.”

“You love me?” Shilo looks at his brother, smiling at him for a moment before registering the rest of his sentence. “You love Soda?”

Emizel nods, an uncharacteristically soft smile gracing his lips. “I do. But that love is different.”

“What does that love feel like?” Shilo turns to his brother, hands rubbing against one another.

“Hm…” Emizel tilts his head down thoughtfully. “It feels like warmth and comfort. It feels like not being near them is so painful you can barely stand it, and when you’re finally back together all you can think about is holding them close and keeping them there always. It’s not wanting them to get hurt, and seeking revenge on those that hurt them. They’re your world, and if something ever happened to them everything would crumble. They’re your happy place, your safe space, the one place you can go to and spill your guts and you know you won’t be judged for it. You think about them all the time and the thought of hurting them makes you want to cry because you’d rather hurt yourself than them.”

And just like that, a weight lifts from Shilo’s chest. Love. He was in love. He could love and he was in love and it was wonderful. But…

“I love him.” Shilo admits. “You’re right. But he loves someone else, and I will not interfere with that.”

“Shilo, dude, he looks at you like you hung the fucking stars, man.” Emizel places a hand on his shoulder. “He’s always touching you and calling you beautiful and perfect. And before you say it was just because he was a guard, I can promise you that’s not it. Grefgor is so gone for you, man. You two just need to talk it out. Speaking of.”

Shilo watches as his brother stands, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“I got a phone call to make to my boy. I suggest you go talk to yours before it’s too late.”

Emizel wanders down the street, phone to his ear as he walks away. Shilo watches him as his face lights up when Theo answers the phone, and studies his face as he talks. He’s seen that face on Grefgor more times than he could count. How could he miss the signs?

Just another thing that’s been taken from him.

Shilo stands up, brushing himself off. He gives his brother a nod, and in return receives at two-fingered salute before the two brothers go their separate ways, one with the one he loves and one determined to find out what love is all about.

[starlooove]

“There is no fanfic on Stephs treatment I have checked” that’s like the whole point.

[little-tyrant-gortash]

Me: *taking the plot in one direction* Gortash: NO. *kicks it over as if it were a trash can* Me: D:<

[sevencolorspasserby]

∆ Silver, you're very good at helping other silver's - how come you're so mean to yourself? Yourself. Not the other versions of you.

I’m not mean to myself. I’m hard on myself, but I’m not mean to myself. I have to be to be the strongest trainer. If I don’t have some sort of self discipline, I’m not reaching my goals.

I know that’s not what you mean.

I don’t know. I know, but I also don’t. Why I’m so abrasive, that’s just who I am, but I also care too much. Why do I care so much? I couldn’t tell you. I can’t piece together why I care for others sometimes. I couldn’t tell you why I get so worked up over it. Repeating things that are in the past in my head so I know that I shouldn’t do worse like that. But beating myself up? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard but people have told me that I don’t and shouldn’t have to? So clearly I do that and I’m stuck in my own head about my attitude all over again.

Changing isn’t easy at all. I hate that. And yet I have to grin and bear it. Shoulders apparently I can cry on but that doesn’t fix the problem with me.

You can guess the rating yourself.