#includes m obviously duh case closed

[autistichalsin]

.

[belphies-wife]

What Naps Are Like With Them (Everyone)

In celebration of my first post kinda blowing up, I wrote a little something for all the characters, including Luke! (platonically for him, of course)

Again, thank you guys for all the love on my Satan Reacting to Montero fic <3 I’ll be working on requests after this.

Also, no beta we die like Lilith.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Lucifer

➼ Never sleeps, e v e r

➼ His brothers would destroy the House of Lamentation in his sleep

➼Took a while to convince him to take a nap with you because of this

➼ His brothers listen to you more than they listen to their older brother, so you begged them to behave for a few hours so that their older brother can rest for once

➼ You will use your pact if you have to, just please let this man sleep

➼ You made sure to pick a day where you know Lucifer hadn’t slept the night before due to his workload

➼ Seriously, you had to talk to Diavolo about that

➼ You both got into your comfiest pajamas and played some soft classical music for ultimate relaxation

➼ You thought about taking a picture of hm while he slept

➼ He saw it coming and had you sleep facing away from him with his arms wrapped around you so you couldn’t turn around

➼ Smart bastard

➼  If you complain about it he’ll laugh at you

➼ Hey, at least you get cuddles

➼ Luci here looks so calm and peaceful while he sleeps, it’s adorable

➼ No wonder everyone tries to take a picture of him sleeping

➼ He’s a heavy sleeper, so you end up having to wake him up after a few hours

➼ He thanks you

➼ He’s well-rested and in a good mood for the rest of the day

➼ His brothers obviously take advantage of that

»»————-　♔　————-««

Mammon

➼ Unlike most of his brothers, he actually has a decent sleep schedule (most of the time)

➼ However, if you wanted to take a nap with him, he wouldn’t say no

➼ Well, he’d say no, but then say yes immediately after

➼ “Whaddya mean you wanna take a nap with me? Do I look like Belphie!?”

➼ Blushing like crazy while complaining, as usual

➼ “Fine, I’ll go nap with him, then.”

➼ “Oi! Come back here! I changed my mind, I wanna take a nap!”

➼ Tsundere baby

➼ Obviously, you tease him about it

➼ “Jealous, huh? I thought that was Levi’s thing.”

“Shut up! Are we gonna cuddle or not?”

“I said nap, not cuddle.”

➼ Cue the pout

➼ The definition of the 🥺 face

➼ Please love this child

➼ “I’m kidding, of course we’re gonna cuddle.”

➼ Usually a little spoon

➼ Unless he’s in a jealous mood

➼ If he is, he will hold on to you like his life depends on it.

➼ More teasing, obviously

➼ If you think about it, Greed and Envy are very similar

➼ Poor baby wants love

➼ New drinking game: take a shot every time I call Mammon a baby

➼ I shot of water, I know you’re dehydrated

➼ Anyways, naps with Mammon = cuddles

➼ Either you’re holding him to you or he’s holding you to him

➼ f o r e h e a d  k i s s e s

➼ Mammon gets nightmares about what happened with Belphie sometimes, so lots of comfort cuddles

»»————-　♔　————-««

Leviathan

➼ “Levi, did you sleep at all last night?”

➼ Obviously not

➼ He was up all night binge watching the latest season of “The Magical Ruri Hanai: Demo Girl”’s  spin-off series

➼ Why would you even ask?

➼ “Levi, did you stay up all night?”

➼ He looked away, a little embarrassed. “Uh, yeah.”

➼ “Levi, honey. You need to sleep. It’s not good for your health to be staying up so late.”

➼ Leviathan.exe has stopped working

➼ You’re worrying about him?????

➼ And you’re calling him honey?????

➼ Are you trying to kill him?????

➼ “You must be exhausted. Wanna take a nap?”

“Oh, uh. Yeah. I guess I could use a nap.”

“Alright. We should go to my room, since there’s more room on my bed than in your tub.”

➼ Wait you meant a nap together????

➼ You’re really trying to kill him.

➼ Usually, he’d make fun of you and call you a normie.

➼ But he was currently too busy dying.

➼ If somehow you managed to resurrect him and get him to your room to nap, then you’d know this shy boi is a little spoon.

➼ Does this really come as a surprise to anyone? It shouldn’t.

➼ He’s blushing like crazy the whole time.

➼ “Levi, if you can't sleep with me here, I can leave.”

“No!”

➼ He does sleep eventually.

➼ Sweet baby cuddles you in his sleep.

➼ Wholesome af

»»————-　♔　————-««

Satan

➼ As the most responsible one in the family, he has a pretty good sleep schedule, so he doesn’t normally take naps.

➼ However, if you ask him to, he’ll agree. 

➼ If it makes you happy he’ll do it <3

➼ He’s not really touchy-feely and won’t initiate any cuddling.

➼ Dude that you asked to nap because you were tired and wanted to sleep.

➼ Nah bro, you just want cuddles.

➼ While he won’t initiate any cuddles, if you make it more obvious that you want some, he’ll give them to you.

➼ Big spoon

➼ If you want him to be the small spoon, he will, but he’ll be flustered af.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Asmodeus

➼ “Asmo, wanna sleep together?”

➼ Could you have made a poorer word choice?

➼ No, you could not.

➼ This boy literally made the lenny face.

➼ “Asmo, I meant a nap.”

“Well, I suppose that’ll satisfy me for now.”

➼ You then proceeded to smack him with a pillow.

“Hey! Don’t mess up my hair!”

➼ You had to wait for him to take off his makeup and change his clothes and stuff.

➼ It’s a process.

➼ Cuddle’s tf out of you.

➼ He’ll be the big spoon or the little spoon. It doesn’t matter to him, so you can decide.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Beelzebub

➼ Takes naps with Belphie a lot and thought it was cute that you also wanted to nap.

➼ Pre-nap snack first, though.

➼ Then he’s ready.

➼ Sweet boi will enjoy the nap whether he’s a big spoon or little spoon.

➼ If you’re happy, he’s happy <3

➼ You kiss his face a lot.

➼ He thinks you’re the cutest little human ever when you do that.

➼ I’d say soft Beel, but when is he ever not soft?

➼ Not counting the custard incident

➼ He Likes to kiss the top of your head while you sleep.

➼ He definitely snores.

➼ It takes some getting used to, but you’re not gonna let keep you from cuddling your big boi.

➼ It honestly feels really safe and comforting to just be wrapped up in his arms.

➼ Equally comforting to have his head resting against you.

➼ Overall just really soft.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Belphegor

➼ You don’t even need to ask. He’s the king of naps.

➼ Being around Belphie for an extended period of time makes you sleepy.

➼ You’re not sure if it’s because he’s sleep or if it’s because he has some sort of sleep-power.

➼ Any time you cuddle you end up taking a nap.

➼ Do I even have to say it?

➼ S m a l l  s p o o n

➼ The smallest spoon.

➼ As the youngest, he’s the most spoiled, so he’s really really clingy and just expects you to drop whatever you’re doing at any given time to nap with him.

➼ I mean, you’d probably do it even if he didn’t expect you to.

➼ He does this adorable thing when he’s sleepy and he sees you nearby where he’ll go up to you and wrap his arms around you and rest his head against your shoulder and just say “Sleep, please.”

➼ You will stop whatever you’re doing no matter what and go up to the attic to nap with him.

➼ Not an exaggeration. It’s happened while Lucifer was talking to you before he he was p i s s e d.

➼ It was obviously intentional

➼ But how can you say no to his cute face?

➼ He seems to be able to keep you from having nightmares and you sleep 100x better with him than on your own

➼ Softest boi

»»————-　♔　————-««

Simeon

➼ While he may dress like a stripper, this man is an angel and is pure™

➼ Anything you want, you’ll get. How can he ever deny you a thing?

➼ He can’t.

➼ You want naps? You get naps.

➼ You want cuddles? You get cuddles.

➼ You want sleepy kisses? You get sleepy kisses.

➼ Hotel? Trivago.

➼ But seriously, sleepy kisses are definitely a thing.

➼ Especially forehead kisses.

➼ Big spoon. He likes to hold you.

➼ Sweet boy loves you so much 🥺

»»————-　♔　————-««

Luke (Platonically)

➼ Purgatory Hall has weekly movie nights, and they invite you over a lot to join them.

➼ You and Solomon have a very long list of human world movies you want Simeon to watch, but the poor man can’t figure out how Devilflix works for the life of him, so group movie nights are the only way.

➼ Not that any of you mind, of course.

➼ Luke begged Simeon to let him join you guys (he has a pretty strict bedtime)

➼ Simeon lets him occasionally if the movie is appropriate.

➼ Luke insisted on sitting next to you and sharing any treats he made that day.

➼ Poor baby ended up falling asleep not even halfway through the movie.

➼ Solomon obviously made fun of him.

➼ “Looks like it’s naptime for the little chihuahua.”

“Don’t tease him!” You say, defending Luke.

➼ At some point, Luke shifts so that he’s leaning against you in his sleep.

➼ You coo at how cute the ‘lil cherub looks.

➼ Aaaand then you proceed to fall asleep as well.

➼ You woke up the next day still on the couch. You were pretty confused since Simeon usually carries anyone who falls asleep to their bed (or the guest room, in your case).

➼ Then you realize Luke still asleep and wrapped around you.

➼ HE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS BABY EVER

➼ You assumed Simeon didn’t want to attempt moving one of you and risk waking the other so he just left you too

➼ Whatever it was, you went back to sleep with the little cherub snuggling you

»»————-　♔　————-««

Solomon

➼ Purgatory Hall sleepover!

➼ Everyone had already fallen asleep, so you asked Solomon if he’d be alright with you two sleeping together.

➼ Not a good idea.

➼ You’re both settled in his bed and you’re about to drift off to sleep when this silly little sorcerer decided to tickle you.

➼ You  s h r e i k

➼ “Solomon!”

➼ “Keep your voice down, dear. You wouldn’t want Simeon hearing and getting the wrong idea, now. Would you?”

➼ The  s m a c c  you gave him though-

➼ “Can I sleep now, or are you gonna keep bothering me?”

“You know you love me.” He grinned.

“Well, duh. But I also love sleep.”

➼ He does let you sleep after that.

➼ You fall asleep first, and one look at your sleeping face and he falls in love with you all over again.

➼ You’re so  p r e c i o u s.

➼ He held you close to him as you slept, pressing soft, featherlight kisses against our forehead and nose, careful not to wake you.

➼ He’s a bitch until you fall asleep, pretty much.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Diavolo

➼ It wasn’t intentional for you to fall asleep, really.

➼ You’d had a long day, and you had been sitting with the demon prince at his palace as he told you about his day over a cup of tea.

➼ It wasn’t like what he was saying was boring.

➼ No, it’s just that you were so tired, and the sofa you were sitting on was so comfy, and Diavolo was talking so much.

➼ It didn’t help that the tea that Barbatos had prepared was especially soothing.

➼ You couldn’t help yourself. You dozed off.

➼ Diavolo continued talking, and probably would’ve gone on for a long while without even noticing if Barbatos hadn’t cleared his throat and gestured towards your sleeping form.

➼ If it had been anyone else, he would have deemed it disrespectful. 

➼ But it was you, and he had realized a long time ago that he was incapable of being upset with you.

➼ “It seems they’ve had a tiring day, my Lord. I suggest you let them rest.” Said Barbatos.

“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of disturbing them.” Carefully, he made his way over to you and pried the teacup from our hands so that you didn’t move and break it in your sleep.

➼ Then, he removed his suit jacket and draped it over you like a blanket.

➼ Not gonna lie, even Barbatos was a bit shooketh. 

➼ He didn’t say anything, though.

➼ Diavolo kissed your forehead lightly and had Barbatos bring him the last of his paperwork for the day, which he finished quickly while remaining by your side.

➼ After that he picked up our still sleeping form and brought you to his room where he tucked you in.

➼ He sent Lucifer a text saying that you would be staying the night at the palace then went to sleep after answering a few emails.

➼ He snores loudly, but you somehow managed to sleep through it.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Barbatos

➼ Diavolo set up another palace retreat (because I said so)

➼ You had been assigned a room with Luke and Beelzebub that time.

➼ It went good at first, and everyone was sent off to sleep at around 10 p.m.

➼ At some point in the middle of the night, you awoke from a particularly nasty nightmare.

➼ You were more scared than usual when you woke up, since the room you were in was not your room at the House of Lamentation.

➼ It took a while for you to realize where you were and calm down, but even then you were to afraid to sleep.

➼ Slowly, you exited the room, careful not to disturb Luke and Beel.

➼ You made your way to Barbatos’ room and knocked softly.

➼ Briefly, you wondered if he was asleep, but then he opened the door.

➼ You silently panicked when you realized your hair was a mess and your clothing was rumpled from sleep, but your disheveled appearance didn’t seem to faze him.

➼ “Hello. I was just about to prepare for bed. Is something the matter?”

➼ Suddenly, you felt very, very silly to come to such an ancient, powerful being for help with a little nightmare.

➼ “Sorry, it’s nothing. I apologize for bothering you. I’ll leave.” You said, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“You never bother me, my dear. Would you like to come in?” He asked, opening the door wider and stepping aside.

“Yes. I would like that.”

“Is something bothering you?”

You blushed. “I had a nightmare. I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. I know, it’s silly.”

“Of course it isn’t.”

“Can I... Can I stay here with you tonight?”

“If it would make you feel better, you may.”

➼ Barbatos tucked you in then sat next to you, gently running his hands through your hair. He began singing an old song in some ancient, forgotten language. His voice was soft and soothing as he sang, and you found yourself unable to stay awake even if you tried.

➼ “Goodnight, my dear.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Thank you so much for reading!

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[goalcaufield]

break my heart - trevor zegras based off of break your heart by taio cruz (thank you @fratboyvivimatthews​ :)) WHO BY THE WAY. IS A TZ GIRL NOW. this fic turns people.  word count: 4713

____________________________________________

“so, we’re getting serious, aren’t we?” you break the silence of the car ride with your voice just barely above a whisper, and this causes trevor to look over at you with his eyebrows furrowed.

“what’s getting serious?” he chuckles nervously, and now it’s your turn to furrow your eyebrows. 

you gesture your finger between the two of you. “us.”

“there’s barely an ‘us.’”

“trev, you’re driving me home from spending the day with your family. on a holiday. you can’t tell me there isn’t any-”

“i told you i was only going to break your heart, y/n.” trevor says, arms crossed over his chest, his eyes looking over at you while you’re staring straight forward. you shake your head slightly, and you can’t help the scoff that leaves your lips. 

“but you didn’t,” you mumble, finally turning to look at trevor. “trevor, you tried to break my heart, but you couldn’t let yourself do it. you wanna know why?”

trevor’s eyebrows furrow, “why?” 

“because you love me. that’s why you couldn’t break my heart. because even after you told not only me, but yourself and your friends, that you wouldn’t fall for me you still did. that you didn’t want anything serious or long term, but we’re still here, we’re still sitting in your car at one in the morning, and you’re trying to act like all of this meant nothing to you. you love me, trevor zegras. don’t try to deny it.”

you watch as trevor rolls his eyes. you’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt even just a little bit, because it did, but he was trying to keep this tough guy act up for all too long. “this meant nothing to me y/n and i don’t see why you can’t get that through your head.”

“and now you’re just trying to convince yourself that!” you laugh, letting your body fall back into the passenger’s seat. “trevor zegras, i know you’re in love with me. your plan failed, you fell for me, and there’s no deny-”

trevor cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours, wasting no time as his hand goes up to press against your cheek. this only confirms your suspicions and what you had been saying: trevor zegras was in love with you, but he was too stubborn to admit it.

____________________________________________

“y/n, how can you not notice that? he’s been checking you out all night!” mack yells over the music, her eyes trained on the bu forward that was standing a little ways behind you. 

“i highly doubt that,” you say, but you look over your shoulder and sure enough the brunette boy is staring straight at you while he says something to who you assume is one of his buddies. when he catches your gaze he smirks and you quickly turn back to your group of friends. “okay, so maybe you’re right.”

“go make your move!” lauren yells, hands going to your shoulders to push you away from all of them. “go get yourself a hockey boy, y/n!”

you’re a laughing mess as you turn to walk towards the boy. maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s just the fact you couldn’t believe you were actually about to do this. but nonetheless you still find yourself standing in front of the boy. there’s a smirk plastered across his face while he turns to say an, “excuse us.” to his friends. “hey.”

“hey to you too,” you say, arms crossed over your chest. “couldn’t help but notice you’ve got a pair of lingering eyes yourself, huh?”

his tongue darts out to wet his lips, his eyes glancing over your shoulder, then his gaze meets yours. “well what can i say?” 

____________________________________________

friday or saturday night parties were a thing. you and trevor always found yourselves at one, and for the most part you were glued to each other’s sides. but when you weren’t? oh, boy. 

“y/n, isn’t that trevor?” stella asks, her eyes fixated over your shoulder and staring into the living room behind you. 

“what? probably,” you say and turn around to see what she was referring to. because it wasn’t like seeing trevor was something out of the ordinary. 

your eyes land on trevor sitting on the couch, but he wasn’t alone. there was a girl sitting on his lap while he was leaning back against the cushions, his elbows resting on top of the couch. you can feel the tug on your heart strings, but you know you don’t even have the right to be all that upset. you weren’t even official, just someone for him to turn to when he needed it.

on the other side of the room, trevor chuckles nervously as the brunette kisses against his neck. “blair, what are you doing?”

“giving us both what we want, duh,” she smiles, smiling sickeningly sweet at him as her fingers trail from around his neck down his chest. “you’re telling me this isn’t what you wanted, z?”

“no, it’s not,” trevor laughs. “i’m kinda taken, blair. it’s a bit of a complicated situation.”

mack places her hand on your arm and you turn back to face them. “are you okay?” 

“yeah, i’m alright,” you clear your throat and push mack’s hand off of you. “we’re not official, i know that. i can’t get upset.”

maddie scoffs and places her solo cup on the counter next to her. “y/n m/n, do you hear yourself right now? you’re settling for second place. you’ve never done that before in your life. not when we were five years old and sure as hell not when we’re eighteen. if you’re even just talking, he should only be talking to you.”

“and not to mention he got pissed when you and alex talked - or alex even looked in your general direction.” stella adds on, and you can’t help but to let out a defeated sigh. because both of them are right. trevor had a tendency to get jealous when it came to his friends and you, and to him he was allowed to do anything he pleased. but on your part? you better think twice and then some.

“go over to him - or better yet, go find one of his teammates,” your best friend says. “you look incredible, half of those boys can barely keep their eyes off you. go use it.” maddie pushes you towards the living room where plenty of boston’s hockey team was lingering. 

“but first, refill!” mack drunkenly giggles and pours the mixture that was sitting in a pitcher into your cup. you thank her, take a quick sip, before you’re off on your mission.

you head into the living room and spot alex vlasic - one of the boys on the team you were closest to besides trevor. alex was your over protective big brother and he was willing to do anything for you. so you knew he would be on board.

“hey lex!” you grin, sitting on the arm rest next to him. alex smiles as he takes his cup away from his lips.

“hey y/n/n, what’s up?” he smiles goofily up at you, hand going out to take your cup of alcohol and he takes a sip. “you see what zegras has been up?” he gestures your cup over to where trevor and the girl are sitting and you roll your eyes.

“that’s actually what i wanted to talk to you about. you up for a little game?” you grab your cup back from alex and watch as his eyes light up. “that’s what i thought.” you grin. “basically we’re just gonna mess with trevor. get in his head, you know?”

“sounds like a plan to me,” alex mumbles, one of his arms going up to wrap around your waist. he pulls you down onto his lap and you feel a smirk growing on your face.

“this works too,” you mumble back. you let yourself get comfortable and alex places his hand on your lower back. “hey case! take a photo of us!”

you toss your phone to the defenseman that’s standing almost in front of you and alex. “would you look at you two,” case winks, obviously knowing what was going on. it was no secret on the university’s team the relationship you and trevor had - or lack thereof. 

you turn your face, wrap your arms around alex’s and press a kiss to his cheek. you can see the flash through your closed eyelids, and when you pull away alex is grinning as he turns to face you. “promise you wont get mad at me?”

“why would i be mad?” you giggle, fingers playing with the ends of his hair that are at your finger tips.

“he’s staring,” alex mumbles. “so i’m gonna kiss you.”

before you have time to react - and even if you did, you wouldn’t, because this was going perfectly - alex leans in and kisses you. case takes a couple more photos and you know he has a shit eating grin on his face. everyone was constantly pissed at trevor for being a douche to you, his own teammates included.

you pull away from alex, a smile on your face. “you know, you’re a good kisser. better than-”

before you can finish your sentence you feel a hand clamp around your wrist and suddenly you’re yanked off alex’s lap. case’s eyes widen and he tosses you your phone quickly while trevor pulls you down a hallway of the house.

“you know, if you’re gonna mess around trev, then so am i.” mistake number one. in an instant, trevor has you pushed up against the wall in the dark hallway, far enough you can barely hear the music playing and where no one could see you if they were looking.

“and you should know by now that i don’t like to share what’s mine babe,” 

your arms wrap around his neck, bringing him down just far enough where your lips barely graze over his ear. “and you think that i like to baby?” trevor lets out a moan and you know you’ve got him right where you want him: in the palm of your hand. 

“fuck,” he mumbles, eyes trailing down your body before he presses his knee right between your thighs. “don’t act like you think it went unnoticed.”

“oh really?” your breathing starts to get hard, but you manage to stand your ground. there’s no way you would falter in front of him, and you shoot back,“because it seems like you don’t seem to care very much trev. as long as you mess around with girls trev, i’ll do the same right back.” even though he’s kissing up and down your neck, you still manage to keep your composure.

“do you wanna go back to my dorm room?” trevor breathes out as he nips at your neck. he eventually pulls away to see your reaction and the look in your eyes says it all. “great, lets go.”

____________________________________________

tz: you up?

y/n/n: trev it’s one in the morning.

tz:  desperate times call for desperate measures

y/n/n:  so now you’re with me cause you’re desperate?

tz:  no not at all. just get over here, y/n. i need you Read at 1:04am

tz: y/n/n please, i haven’t even began to tell you how bad the game went

y/n/n: trev you’ve been back in boston since 11:30, why arent you asleep yet?

tz:  i couldn’t sleep without you. please, my door’s unlocked 

y/n/n: i’ll be up in five

you get up from the comfort of your bed, careful not to wake up maddie as you slip on your slippers and one of trevor’s hoodies that you’ve stolen from nights just like this. you grab your bu lanyard with your dorm room key and then you’re off to trevor’s room which is only three floors above you. 

you’re impatient as the elevator seems to go up slower than normal, but it’s probably because you know trevor is desperate to see you and you know he needs you in the moment. when the elevator doors finally open you’re off to find room 424. sure enough, trevor’s door is propped open and the light is on. alex isn’t in the room, and god knows where he is, but part of you is thankful.

“trev?” you ask, peeking your head into the room. trevor is laying down on his bed scrolling through his phone, but the moment he hears your voice he’s locking his phone and his arms are open for you to lay in them. “baby,” you laugh, but nonetheless you walk over to his bed and crawl into his arms. immediately trevor holds you to his chest, one hand rubbing up and down your back. 

“today was shit,” trevor mumbles pressing his lips to your head. “i just wish i could’ve been with you sooner.”

“well i’m here now, trev,” you mumble right back to him, leaning your head up to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. he lets out a sigh of content and you relax into his arms, situating so your legs are on either side of his body. 

“thank god,” trevor whispers. he lets his hands slip under your sweatshirt to rest on your bare skin. “thank you, y/n/n. thank you for being here.”

you smile against his chest, eyes peeking up to look at him. he’s already looking down at you, a soft smile on his face. “you’re welcome, trev. i’m just happy it could be me.”

some of the bu hockey boys are sitting around cam and logan’s apartment after practice, a long and grueling one at that. cam decides he wants to poke a little at the freshman. “so zegras, what’s up with you and y/n/n?” cam smirks, gaining trevor’s attention, and trevor looks up and rolls his eyes.

 “why do you care who i fuck, crotty? last time i checked it shouldn’t be a concern to you.”

“when suddenly your blowing up with points? i gotta know the secret, z. care to share her?”  trevor shoots a glare at his captain, whose tongue is darting along his lips. “c’mon, at least show us photos.”

“absolutely not.” trevor grumbles, eyes rolling, and he’s ready to leave the room. ready to go back to you, because if he’s honest that’s where he’d rather be. and putting up this act was getting tougher and tougher every day. but he wouldn’t admit that. 

“he’s just got a girl in the stands to impress, not gonna last very long,” logan mumbles, giving trevor a look before he places his play station controller on the coffee table. “i don’t feel like playing anymore.”

“she’s not a bunny,” trevor grumbles, picking up what logan put down. “she’s just there to fill any void.” 

cam chuckles, “keep telling yourself that. she’s definitely the type of girl to make you fall harder than you expected. be careful, tz.”

“keep that up, zegras, and i’ll make sure whatever the hell is going on with you two ends.” alex huffs from his spot on the couch. “you know how much she means to me, i swear if you break her heart zegras you won’t stand a chance.”

trevor makes a face and holds both of his hands up in defense. “i told her from the start that i’m only going to end up breaking her heart. she’s the one staying, so it’s all on her. don’t think she’s some perfect little princess, alex. you can’t save her from this.”

“trevor, why don’t we just become a thing?” you practically giggle, arms wrapped around his neck playing with the hair on his neck. trevor chuckles, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. he looks away from you before looking back into your eyes.

“i’m only going to break your heart, y/n/n, you’ve got to understand that. i’m not easy to please. i’m literally going to tear you apart,” his voice is low, which only adds to the butterflies and the rapid beating of your heart.

“then break my heart, trevor,” you whisper, bringing his neck down to kiss him.

____________________________________________

“trev, are you sure we’re allowed up here?” you giggle as trevor pulls your hand up the staircase and to the rooftop of the environmental sciences building. 

on top of the building were dozens upon dozens of flower beds growing all the types of flowers you could possibly imagine. a smile graces your face and trevor stops in the middle of the roof, turning to look at you with a grin on his lips as well.

“we’re definitely not,” he laughs, “but i packed us a little picnic for the afternoon. i’m pretty sure as long as we don’t get caught we’ll be able to stay up here for as long as we so wish.”

you breathe out a sigh and wrap your arms around trevor, tilting your head up so you’re looking up at him. “thank you, trev.”

trevor presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “you’re welcome. i know you’ve been stressed over your econ test and i figured i’d try and help you take your mind off things. so until then, no talk about school. you think you can do that for me, sweetheart?”

“i think i can,” you smile up at him. “so, about this picnic? where’s the food?”

trevor rolls his eyes playfully before he’s pulling you over towards a bed of sunflowers. sure enough, there’s a blanket on the concrete and a picnic basket settled in the middle. you smile over at trevor and he gestures for you to sit down, so that’s exactly what you do.

“thank you trev, really,” you say, reaching over and placing your hand on top of his. “it means a lot.”

trevor clears his throat. “anything for you, y/n/n. you know that.”

the two of you begin taking out the contents of the picnic basket, which includes two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - that trevor was very proud of himself for - strawberries, cut up pineapple, blueberries and two bottles of apple juice.

you giggle, holding up the two bottles. “apple juice, really tz? how old are you again?”

trevor gives you a look, followed by a playful grim smile. “you know i can’t drink on the weekdays. besides, none of the guys were available to run to the store for me. i was planning on getting you a bottle of wine, but that didn’t work out obviously.”

“well it’s the thought that counts,” you grin. “thanks trev. seriously. you didn’t have to go through all of this for me.”

“i know i didn’t have to, but i wanted to.”

you find yourself smiling down at the blanket like an absolute fool. it was crazy the effect trevor had on you; you were absolutely wrapped around his finger. he could have you eating out of the palm of his hand if he really wanted.

a few minutes later, trevor starts playing music from his phone and the two of you sit there eating and talking. him about hockey and how his season has been going, as if you didn’t already know every single detail about it, and how you were both excited in a few weeks to be going home to your families for thanksgiving. you try to ignore the sky slowly turning more gray and staying in the moment with trevor. 

“so what are you doing for thanksgiving?” trevor asks and you freeze. “tough subject? i’m sorry, y/n.”

“no, no, you’re fine. my parents are separated, both remarried, and it’s not like i want to go to those, you know? i usually just stay at my aunts, she lives in southeast new york.” 

“you know i’m from around there, right?” trevor chuckles. “where does she live?”

“lewisboro, do you know where that is? it’s kinda close to connecticut,” you say, popping a strawberry into your mouth. a smile forms on trevor’s face and you give him a look. 

“that’s not even twenty minutes away from me,” he smiles down at the bowl of strawberries. “why don’t you come visit on thanksgiving?”

your cheeks burn, and you’re sure they’ve got to be the exact same color as the strawberries. “you’d want that?”

“i do want that, a lot, y/n/n.” 

“i think i can work something out,” you whisper, and the two of you sit listening to the music playing from trevor’s phone.

the song playing ends, and then ‘mercy’ by brett young starts playing. trevor stands up and extends his hand out for you to take. “dance with me.”

“what?” you giggle, placing your hand in his. trevor pulls you up, placing both of his hands on your waist and you wrap yours around his neck. “what are you doing, trevor zegras?”

“dancing with you, what else does it look like?” you let out a content sigh, letting your head fall against trevor’s chest. there’s no place you’d rather be than in his arms. no one else you’d rather be in a super complicated relationship with, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

trevor begins to mumble the lyrics into your ear, but all ends all too quickly when there’s a crack of thunder that causes you to jolt away from him. you look up, and sure enough the sky is dark and rain begins to spit down.

“oh come on, don’t tell me you’re afraid of some water, y/n!” trevor laughs, arms tightening around you and holding you close to his chest.

“i’m not afraid of water, i’m afraid of getting struck by lightning you goof!” nonetheless, trevor keeps a hold on your hand and he twirls you around. slowly the rain starts falling harder, and before you know it you’re nearly drenched. but would you change this moment? of course not.

at one point, you end up with your back pressed up against trevor’s front. his arms are still wrapped around you, and he’s got the two of you swaying back and forth, but your head is tilted up looking at him. “i love you, trevor.”

____________________________________________

y/n/n: you up?

tz: i am, but it’s midnight, why are you awake?

y/n/n: so you should come here.

tz: y/n it’s late

y/n/n: please tz, i need you. Read 12:18 am

you smirk to yourself knowing you’ve got him right where you want him. luckily for you, maddie was staying the night with one of her hookups, which left you in your dorm room all alone. perfect for trevor to come over, and perfect for you to do anything you want.

it’s maybe two minutes before you hear a knocking at your door. of course you know it’s trevor, and as soon as you open the door for him he pushes you up against the wall and kicks the door shut. “someone’s eager,” you breathe against his lips and trevor lets out a soft groan before pressing his lips to yours.

“how could i not be?” he grumbles against your lips, hands trailing down your body until they’re resting on your ass. “you knew what you were doing. i know you did.”

“of course i did,” you pull away from him. “i knew if i played my cards right you’d be here in a matter of seconds, and what happened? exactly that.”

“now don’t get cocky,” trevor’s hands then slide up the sweatshirt you’re wearing and he pulls it over your head, revealing the bralette you had thrown on in hopes your plan wouldn’t fall through. trevor rolls his eyes before his lips are back on yours and he’s hoisting you up to carry you over to your bed. 

trevor lays you back down on your mattress and begins kissing down your body. you can’t help the small whimpers that leave your lips, and you can feel him smile against your skin. trevor looks up at your through his eyelashes, and of course that has you groaning all over again.

“trev, please hurry up,” you whine, fingers tangling in his hair. “i didn’t text you this late for nothing.”

trevor hums against you, his fingers curled around the waistband of your sleeping shorts. he presses a kiss to your abdomen before he pulls your shorts down, leaving you completely vulnerable to him.

“trevor, if you don’t do something i swear-” trevor cuts you off when he licks a strip right up your folds, his lips circling around your clit. you moan out, fingers pulling on his hair. “trev.”

he pulls away, fingers rubbing your thighs. “hm, baby?”

you groan, “why did you take that as an invitation to stop? tz, i need you. so bad.”

trevor lets out a moan at the nickname, his head turning into your thigh and nipping at the skin before he goes right back to work. it’s like a flip switched in his brain. he thrusts his tongue into you and you turn your head into your pillow to try and muffle the noises you’re making. however, that doesn’t satisfy trevor and he hums against you. the sounds you let out are borderline pathetic but you know they’re driving trevor absolutely insane.

you try and grind your hips up against trevor’s lips but he’s quick to throw his arm across your stomach to keep your hips pressed down to the mattress. you whine, trying to writhe against him, but trevor pulls away. “if you’re gonna be a brat about it, forget it sweetheart.”

“tz, if you don’t make me cum, you’re gonna sit there while i get myself off,” you grumble, pulling on his hair. trevor only smirks before pushing two fingers into you, his lips latching onto your clit once more. you let out a throaty moan until eventually it feels like you can barely make any more noise.

trevor’s hands move from your stomach to your thighs to hold them apart. your breathing hitches and you let out a whine, trevor’s tongue flicking every nerve to set you on fire. “i know you’re close baby.” he murmurs against you, and of course that smirk on his face only frustrates you even more.

“i’m gonna cum, trev, please,” you pant, eyes screwed shut and fingers pulling harder on the ends of his hair than you previously had. trevor’s hands grip on your thighs tighten and he quickens the pace of his tongue until you’re releasing.

trevor rides you through your high while you’re panting and trying to form some sort of coherent sentence, and once he’s sure you’re finished he presses kisses to your thighs trailing up your stomach and valley of your breasts before he kisses your lips.

“i love you.”

____________________________________________

trevor’s hands wander your body, his hand underneath the fabric of your dress resting on your hip. you’re turned awkwardly in the seat to be able to kiss him, but in the heat of the moment it doesn’t matter. you pull away from trevor. before he can protest you climb over the console and situate yourself on his lap the best that you can, knees resting on either side of his thighs.

“y/n,” trevor grumbles between a groan and a moan as your lips meet his neck. “princess, slow down.”

you feel the all too familiar butterflies in your stomach at the newly found nickname, which takes you off guard so you have no other choice but to pull away. “trev,” you breathe out, hands cupping either side of his face. “please don’t say all of that wasn’t real.”

trevor sighs, leaning his head forward so your foreheads are touching. “it was real. and you’re right; i didn’t want it to be. at first i just wanted to see how far i could take it with you, but that original plan got sidetracked so quick. i’m in love with you, y/n. no matter what i’ve said differently.”

[paaradoxum]

BakuTodo Rec List of Fics Vol. II

It’s been a while since the last time I did the other list and many new, wonderful fics appeared (the dynamics will be the same: AO3 fics that includes top!Bakugou and bottom!Todoroki for those that are NSFW), so if you wanna check out here is Part I.

This time there are 32 fics in this list, I have more and probably I will make Part III soon.

Spoiler: EVERY SINGLE one of these stories are FUCKING AWESOME.

Rating: G

→ flowers die, feelings grow by kinneyb

Summary:  When Bakugo first visits a local flower shop with Jirou, he buys some flowers in a lame attempt to piss off one of the employees - a guy named Shouto. But then he gets a little too invested in keeping his flowers alive.

→ Pretty by doop-doop.

Summary:  Like so many things that had to do with Shouto, the question took Bakugou entirely by surprise. “Do you think I’m pretty?”

→ For a Single Moment by itsclowreedsfault.

Summary:  Katsuki shakes his head with a sigh and an unbidden smile. Shouto's always been like an overexcited kid when it came to cats; Katsuki should've known he didn't stand a chance against them in Shouto's first visit to a cat cafe.

Rating: T

→ Ruin My Life by justhavesex.

Summary: He's not a vengeful person, really, he's not.

But him and Bakugou have started this little on-going war of theirs back in middle school when they were 10 years old and Todoroki had accidentally—if you got Todoroki drunk enough and fed his ego well enough he would, in fact, admit that it was very much on purpose—accidentally fed Bakugou's limited edition All Might magazine to his cat.

→ Aesthetic Distance by llyn.

Summary:  This was around the time Shouto was appearing in all the blogs and rags and instagrams wearing a hideous faux fur coat of bright, hot neon like some awful crawling creature from an acid trip had been hunted and skinned, its pelt draped over Shouto's shoulders.

→ Dance To This by justhavesex.

Summary:  Bakugou has never cared much about being an alpha, not really, not until he met the most frustrating omega in all existence: Todoroki Shouto.

→ Welcome to the Mile-High Club by minhakos.

Summary:  In which Todoroki realizes that maybe airplanes aren't the only thing that should make him nervous.

→ Boyfriend Tactics by Esselle.

Summary: 'Shouto's eyes go impossibly wide. He seems to lose all powers of communication for a moment and just stands there, frozen, staring at Katsuki and the kitten. Finally, eventually, he utters the tiniest noise Katsuki has ever heard him make.

"Ah…" '

--

Katsuki comes to the aid of a small and fluffy civilian while on patrol.

→ Line by Line by Lillabelle.

Summary:  With half his sketchbook filled with drawings of the guy, Katsuki wondered if he’s already crossed the line of being insanely creepy. They’ve never spoken, and he honestly only knew the person’s name was Todoroki Shouto because of role call in class. Shouto was just… so unique to look at with his half and half appearance. It was hard for Katsuki’s eyes not to get drawn to him. Not to mention they shared several classes, so if Katsuki ever got bored and felt like drawing something, there he was.

→ a todobaku one-shot collection by kagehinataboke.

Summary:  all of my multiple, multiple, multiple todobaku one-shots. i stan two (2) dipshit boys that are obviously in love and hate with each other.

→ amaryllis by ?

Summary:  The amaryllis has come to symbolize pride, determination and radiant beauty. Somehow this all suited Katsuki a lot more than Shouto expected.

→ tell ourselves a good lie by ElmoIsSatan. (In-Progress 12/?)

Summary: For a straight guy with anger issues, getting a “boyfriend” might just be his only escape.

Or-

Bakugo makes an impulsive decision and suddenly gains a boyfriend just to prove his parents wrong... The only problem is it’s all fake.

→ how to register for a library card (and get a boyfriend in the process) by Kaleid369.

Summary: “Friends have each other’s numbers, yeah?” Bakugou shrugs. “I don’t hate you, I guess.”

“Lucky me.”

“Lucky you,” Bakugou snorts. “I gotta go. Text me so I have your number.”

“I will.”

He's already started walking away when Shouto blurts out, “See you tomorrow?”

Bakugou shoots him a smirk over his shoulder, as if to say, Duh.

Shouto stands and stares at his retreating back, and the thought of kissing him pounds along with the beat of his heart.

→ on brand by dinosuns.

Summary: Midoriya is honestly unsure what’s worse: the tragic fact that Todoroki Shouto can make anything look objectively incredible or the fact Kacchan has six versions of the exact same photograph saved onto his camera roll.

Nobody saves a photo that many times by accident.

Kacchan set the bar, Todoroki raised it. That is not a good thing.

→ The Journey Home by dinosuns.

Summary: “Your hair looks real fucking nice.”

“I thought it was about time I grew it out,” Todoroki says, something wistful caught in his voice. “You were always saying I should.”

That’s true. And Bakugou is satisfied to know he was right about it looking good, but it’s not like he can share that with the fucking class anymore.

--

Bakugou tells himself that he's fine with how things turned out between them. He also tells himself he's not still in love.

Rating: M

→ Zephyr by yeetin. (In-Progress 4/?)

Summary: The breeze that sifted gently through a golden sea of tall, dry grass brought the tiny spike of a different scent. An inconspicuous little prickle down the spine, barely even worth paying attention to. Something no one else would even imagine being able to notice.

But Bakugou did.

→ Objection, Your Honor by Myona. (In-Progress (8/?)

Summary: Shoto Todoroki hated Katsuki Bakugou. And he had plenty of reasons to do so.

But he didn't know that how things can change for the two of them who saw nothing but trouble in each other's presence and life altogether. Katsuki was a trouble from the first time Shoto heard his name, to the first day he met the man.

Rating: E

→ On Hot Blondes and Drunken Hookups by Crossfire. (In-Progress 4/?) I love this so so much.

Summary: “I’m Bakugou. What’s your name, Pretty Boy?”

Shouto looks at the drink in his hand, then back to the beautiful blonde boy, then back to the drink and downs it in one go, ignoring the slight burn as it slides down his throat, and while it would have been more suave to appear unaffected, he gives his head a little shake. He takes a quick breath and forces the words out before he has a chance to realize what a massive mistake this all is.

“Hot blondes I want to bang can call me Shouto.”

→ Tick Tick Boom by Ajaxthegreat. (In-Progress 6/?) THIS is so good, I’m in love.

Summary: An exhausted socially awkward violin prodigy and a deaf punk rock drummer walk into a bar.

→ Better Take a Mental Picture by chibibeeee. This is HOT HOT.

Summary:  The one where Deku watches Bakugou take Todoroki and their exhibitionist kink is unlocked.

→ Cover: Blown by darkanddank. (In-Progress 1/2)

Summary: Some undercover agents got hooked on drugs. Went full Stockholm Syndrome, flipped and joined up with the other side. As Bakugou’s palm went flat over Todoroki’s navel and dove beneath his closed zipper, Todoroki started to understand just how easy it might be to go rogue.

...aka cop Todoroki gets his world rocked so hard by bad guy Bakugou that he has an existential crisis

→ Just One Bite by Crossfire.

Summary: This particular fuckup begins when he saves a cat from a demon in a sketchy alley.

Well, maybe slightly before that when his esteemed hedge-witch mentor turned out to be an incubus who coincidentally turned him and his stupid nerdy neighbor into incubi.

Or maybe when he was born to a non-magic family, but early on developed minor magical inclinations that turned out to be not-so-minor and kind-of-hugely-destructive.

Wherever this fuckup was born, it’s culminated as follows: Bakugou has been an incubus for one hundred and twenty-two days, seven hours, and thirty-six minutes, has not had a single successful feed, and is essentially slowly starving to death. His mentor is suspiciously MIA and that stupid shitty nerd has managed to secure himself a two-person harem so it’s just Bakugou, starving. To death. Slowly.

→ Gangster by Brixxen.

Summary: Bakugou is a detective trying to solve a case that's been open for months. He ends up in a town and meets a man who could be his undoing...

Todoroki wasn't expecting the blonde at the bar to leave him wanting more...

→ How to spend a Friday night by veltana.

Summary: That's how Katsuki ended up on his bed on a Friday night leaning against the headboard with his laptop between his spread legs, his hard dick in his hand, watching Shouto open himself up for him on the screen.

→ Your Turn by doop-doop.

Summary: An extra scene/epilogue/continuation of smd.

Bakugou and Todoroki housesit for Bakugou's parents and take advantage of Bakugou's large bed.

→ Comfort by hellaradholly.

Summary: Katsuki agrees to be Shouto's roommate after UA despite having an unbearable crush on him.a gift for Katie for the BakuTodo Valentine's Day Exchange!

→ Empire of Dirt by castiiron, clairesail. (In-Progress 5/?)

Summary: There was something different about being with Bakugou Katsuki. Something that Shouto had been searching for tonight, to no avail. A consistent burn in his gut, the warmth of a fire that hadn’t been stoked in many years. Katsuki had been inexcusably rough with him. Harsh in a way that had pulled him back to reality. Shouto hadn’t realized he was missing out, being so used to what he knew; going through the motions, a means to an end. His life for the last few years had revolved around mediocre sex as a way to abate constant desire, always at the forefront of his mind.

Unhealthy coping mechanisms are easier to hide when you aren't screwing your ex-classmate.

→ Be Quiet by chibibeeee.

Summary: Katsuki and Shouto stay the night at Deku's. If only they had any self control, then they wouldn't have to keep so quiet.

→ Speak Softly My Sweet Villain by Brixxen.

Summary: Ask anyone in Tokyo and they’ll tell you the same thing. That the No.1 Pro Hero Todoroki Shoto is the perfect hero. He’s kind to everyone, always the first to arrive on a crime scene, always the calm and collected hero everyone wants him to be.

It was ironic how things happened to lead Shoto to his current situation. Him moaning and shuddering like a teenager, clinging to the strong perfect body of the most wanted villain in Japan, Ground Zero.

→ Peanuts and Wolves by cashmeresho.

Summary: “Yeah, man, okay!” The guy holds up his hands in surrender and Shouto shoots him another apologetic look. “I really didn't know you guys were married! I didn't see a ring!”

“Oh,” Katsuki says. He frowns hard for a minute and then grabs Shouto by the arm to whisk him away to his table with Izuku and Kirishima to guard him or sniff him or whatever weird territorial thing he wants to do.

→ College Roommates|BakuTodo by S_Kuro.

Summary: Todoroki is the son of the famous Todoroki Enji, also known as Endeavor, his father is a famous business man that wants Todoroki to take over his business, but Todoroki wants to become a photographer. He goes against his father's wishes and goes to an art university miles away from home. There he meets a certain explosive blonde, who turns out to be his roommate. what sorts of ridiculous shenanigans will they find themselves in and what relationships will they end up in.

a BakuTodo fanfic

This is my first fanfic with these two, so don't judge me and I hope you like it.

→ Locker Room by darkqueen_25.

Summary: There are worse things to walk in on in a locker room, Inasa thinks, than your two new friends fucking against the shower walls.

There's probably nothing better than being asked to join in, though.

[serendipitous-magic]

hi! i'm trying to ask this in the most delicate way possible because it can very easily be interpreted as hate when i assure you it is not, it is simply curiosity. when you write byler smut, what is the reason for it? i'm assuming that, since you're lesbian, it's not for the purpose of getting yourself off (though that may be true). is it to get your readers off? do you feel it enhances the story?

A legitimate question! I’ll put everything under a read more line just in case y’all don’t want me on your whole dash talking about smut lol. Also maybe y’all just don’t want to know that much about me, but I love oversharing. So let’s goooooo!

A couple of reasons, that I can think of.

1) I actually tend to read m/m smut as well as write it. Obviously I also like f/f smut, cause, duh. Lesbian. However, most of my current OTPs are m/m ships; also, when writing smut, for some reason it’s a little bit harder for me to write f/f stuff, probably because it feels just that much more embarrassing?? Which is totally illogical but lemme explain. Like with m/m smut there’s a layer of separation that somehow makes me much less red-faced while writing it. With f/f smut it takes me like 3000 years to write anything because every five seconds I have to hide inside my sweater like “oh gosh, oh geez.” Because it’s too close to home, in a way. Does that make sense at all?

2) This one probably answers your actual question more. With any kind of smut - reading or writing - I’m much less invested in the specific body parts involved and much more invested in what the character feels. If the character feels pleasure, by whatever means or physical body parts, that’s what I’m interested in. So while I’m not much interested in the male body in itself, irl (I gave heterosexuality my best shot and it turns out it wasn’t for me), I think that’s why I don’t have much problem reading or writing about m/m scenes of intimacy. I may not be interested in gettin’ that dick myself, but I’m all kinds of interested in what kind of pleasure a character might get from it. Because that, I can directly relate to and feel, by proxy. Ya feel me?

3) If I get readers off, more power to me. Enjoy.

4) Smut can absolutely enhance a story. I don’t think every story needs it, but I think there are plenty of ways authors can use sex to illustrate or enhance themes or arcs through a story! Like everything else in literature, it’s a tool. Sex in stories can illustrate a developing intimacy between characters (most obviously); it can be used to showcase themes or explore a character’s innermost mindscape, especially half-subconscious aspects that might not come up in more everyday circumstances; it can play a role in character development or specific facets of inter-character relationships; etc. Sex scenes are a tool. Like any tool, they can be used for anything the story needs. 

(Disclaimer there: again, I’m not saying every story needs sex scenes. Just that, should you decide they are necessary to a particular story, or should you decide that you do want to include them, they can fulfill a limitless array of functions.)

I got off on a brief storytelling rant lol. Although, y’all know me well enough by now to expect that.

Hope that answered your question! Sorrynotsorry for the oversharing. 

[rhywhitefang]

It’s the end of the year (Well, not quite, but I’m not gonna get any reading done tomorrow)  - and we all know what that means... Looking back at what you read and evaluating your favorites. And no, I did not contain myself to just 10 - but that’s also because I did read a lot this year. Why are they eleven books for the first two categories? Any excuse to include one more book It looks better on the graphic. Although, before someone asks why the Broken Earth Trilogy isn’t on here - Rereads don’t count and I read those in 2017. For a more detailed look at each of my lists, links to the books, and more of my thoughts, look under the cut. For a list of all of my favorite books look here. 

Now, on to these...

The best new releases of the year

Now, obviously, I did not read every single book that was released this year - duh. This is just a list of the best 2018 releases that I read this year. Ranked, they look like this:

Girl Made of Stars by Ashley Herring Blake. Why I loved this one: It’s a really honest, well-written, gentle, well-done, nuanced, and detailed examination of what rape does not only to a person but also to a community from a perspective I’ve never seen considered before. 

Darius The Great Is Not Okay by Adib Khorram Why I loved this one: Because I love well-done coming of age narratives and this one was excellent. It’s a very quiet, introspective, slow moving book with a softer main male character. I also really appreciated the setting of Teheran. 

The Book of Essie by Meghan Maclean Weir Why I loved this one: Look, it’s one of my very specific favorite tropes of all time (I’m not going to spoil it) that I almost never see, the main character is interesting and strong in a mental way I really enjoy, and it’s a deconstruction of conservative family culture. Yay. 

The Adventure Zone - Here there be Gerblins by Griffin McElroy Why I loved this one: I jumped on the hype train and listened to the podcast - and like, this is a comic adaptation of the first arc? Which is so much fun?

The Air You Breathe by Frances de Pontes Peebles Why I loved this one: I loved the main character who was bitter, and passionate, and jealous and lovin, and complicated and determined and stern and regretful. It was great. If you loved Evelyn Hugo, this one should be your next read. 

The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay Why I loved this one: This thriller was very unique in the way that it put its focus on just one family, and the whole rest of the world was not really present. Instead we get a very closed, and isolated narrative where everything but the characters we follow and the relationships they have with each other is called into question.

How Long Til’ Black Future Month? by N. K. Jemisin Why I loved this one: I refuse to comment on claims that I light a candle of my very own N. K. Jemisin shrine every night before I fall asleep. If you haven’t read The Fifth Season - go read them right now. My favorites from this collection include: Valedictorian, The Storyteller’s Replacement, Walking Awake, and Henosis.

Circe by Madeline Miller Why I loved this one: I’m a huge slut for greek myth retellings, if you’re a semi-competent author retelling any greek myth, I’ll eat it up. And Miller is more than just semi-competent.

The Poppy War by R.F Kuang Why I loved this one: Listen, listen, listen - you know how to get me as a reader? Training sequences and school settings. This has 250 pages of training sequences in a school setting. It made me very happy. 

Hurricane Child by Kheryn Callender Why I loved this one: Everyone’s excited for this author’s other book, which is like, a YA romance and to be fair, I haven’t read that one yet, but still - why is this one so underrated? It’s a magical realism coming of age story of a young girl and it’s stellar. 

Inkmistress by Audrey Coulhourst Why I loved this one: I wasn’t the biggest fan of the author’s debut, but this has a lot of things I love - “be careful what you wish for” style blood magic, dark self-fulfilling prophecies, and a female characters journey from hero to villain. Also dragons. 

The best backlist books of the year

Meaning, the best books I read this year that were released in 2017 or before that. Pretty simple, really.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan Why I loved this one: It has been a long time since I was this attached to a group of book characters that quickly. They’re instantly relatable, even if they’re not instantly likeable. And beyond that, the whole book is a wonderfully satirical take on the portal fantasy genre. But seriously, guys, there’s not enough of fanfiction for this book - I’d know it, I read them all.. C’mon, where’s my soulmate AU?

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman Why I loved this one: One of the best YA novels out there and not only one of my favorite’s of this year, but also one of my favorite books of all time. Alice Oseman understands the teen coming of age story on a spiritual level, and manages to be so wonderfully affirming in this one.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid Why I loved this one: Listen to the hype, everyone, listen to the hype. Evelyn Hugo is an amazing character and I’d 100% believe you if you told me she was a real person. PLUS, this one also has the trope. The one I talked about with the Book of Essie. 

Strong Female Protagonist by Molly Ostertag Why I loved this one: Well-done, deconstructionalist superhero narrative are my jam. This webcomic is not that action driven, instead it focuses on the main character identity crisis, and her reconsidering what it means to be a hero and what her responsibility as a human is.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M Danforth Why I loved this one: Do you think the owner of this blog might like coming of age narratives? I’m not super sure, like, maybe if she had “I love coming of age narratives” tattooed on her forehead, it would be a little clearer... but like this? It’s a mystery. 

Whichwood by Tahereh Mafi Why I loved this one: No, I did not read the first book in this series, and I don’t think you need to in order to enjoy this. Here, I just really appreciated the friendship aspect of the book and the healing power of reaching out to others and letting them into your heart. Also death magic. That too.

Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds Why I loved this one: I think the slam poetry style this was written in, often novels written in verse don’t work for me because it feels like more distance being put between you and the narrative, but in this case it really elevated the story. And of course, this was a very introspective read with a focus on character development.

One Hundred Nights of Hero by Isabelle Greenberg Why I loved this one: The artwork here is just gorgeous, just like in the first one The Encyclopedia of Early Earth. Its beautiful and has a lovely fairytale vibe.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon Why I loved this one: This has a very sharp, very unique voice to it and a protagonist unlike anyone I ever read. And the spaceship setting was really cool as well.

Under the Pendulum Sun by Jeannette Ng Why I loved this one: This is a fae book that gets fucking dark, and truly fucked up as any proper fae book should do. Some parts of it read almost like a trippy nightmare which is just delightful. And the premise itself? Just wild, man

Girl Mans Up by M-E Girard Why I loved this one: Say it with me everyone 📣: Coming 👏 of 👏 Age 👏 Narrative

Honorable Mentions

Yes, I have a whole entire seperate list of honorable mentions. What’s it to you?

A  Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi Why I loved this one: The writing is beautiful and engaging. The protagonist is refreshing, lively, realistic, and I loved her perspective. Her internal journey was wonderfully rendered. The issues she dealt with were important, timely, and needed to be put into the forefront. It had a lyrical, atmospheric quality to it and I thoroughly enjoyed my experienced reading it. Why it didn’t quite make the list: It almost, almost made the list because it was really good. There was just one thing that bothered me. I get that the point of this book was that the protagonist was really isolated in the beginning, but even so... she had a romance with a guy, she had her brother and his friends whom she hung out with. But she didn’t seem to know any other girls... at all. The only other real female character I remember is her mother. And then there’s one interaction with another girl and that girl is a racist bitch. So I didn’t like that portrayal.

Geography Club by Brent Hartinger Why I loved this one: Teenagers finding themselves.... friendship..... clubs.... gay people.... I mean, come on.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: The writing style isn’t the best.

And I Darken by Kiersten White Why I loved this one: This was a great first book in a trilogy with a historical setting I haven’t read about before. It has court intrigue, sultans, assassins and political imprisonments. The main character’s brother, Radu, is one of my favorite characters I read about this year and I liked the way this tackled religion. Why it didn’t quite make the list: Being the first one in a series, this feels more like...a prologue, than anything that could stand on its own.

When I Hit You - A Portrait of the Author as a Young Wife by Meena Kandasamy Why I loved this one: It’s an unflinching look at an abusive marriage, power dynamic, and coping with the more patriarchal aspects of your own culture. It’s also really well written and extremely believable.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: It had an odd framing device, and because the protagonist was a writer, this caused it to be kind of pretentious at times.

Here to Stay by Sara Farizan Why I loved this one: This is a very realistic depiction of high school, and the social dynamics most teenagers for. Teenagers aren’t wise or mature, most of them have a lot of growing to do. And I liked how flawed everyone there was. They just wanted to keep their head down, or they overcompensated for their insecurities, and they dealt with their own issues. I liked how the topics in here were handled. Why it didn’t quite make the list: The plot was a bit too simplistic for me. 

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant Why I loved this one: Killer mermaids! Need I say more? I’ll say it again - killer mermaids! Why it didn’t quite make the list: Despite the title, this isn’t really that deep. Just a fun monster horror.

The Emperor’s Soul by Brandon Sanderson Why I loved this one: The one thing that Sanderson does consistently well is develop magic systems, and I really liked this one. And because this one was so short, there wasn’t some epic (or even cosmic) overarching plot, but a rather clear and relatively small narrative of a specific task that needed to be completed, which I found absolutely fascinating. I think I like this story even more than the Mistborn trilogy. It’s my favorite from him. Why it didn’t quite make the list: Everytime Sanderson writes a female character, you can tell he feels so proud of himself for being such a feminist. 

I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman Why I loved this one: This surprised me. Even though I loved Radio Silence by Oseman and had read that one before, the subject matter of this book didn’t really seem appealing to me, but it was still really fun. I loved the friendship dynamics and the discussions of fame. Why it didn’t quite make the list: I just very much wanted this one to go more in depth and really dive into that character development, and these relationship dynamics. I just wanted a little more of that. 

A History of Glitter and Blood by Hannah Moskowitz Why I loved this one: I loved most things to do with the fae - the dark fae of folklore, mind you, not whatever SJM is doing. Now, these fairies aren’t really traditional, but the setting is definitely dark. Also, there’s an unreliable narrator which I love.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: I was kind of iffy about some of the racial implications with the goblins. 

The Monster Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson Why I loved this one: We stan a ruthless, traitorous accountant. Love that dark character development, bitch.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: While I loved the first one, this one really lacked a clear sense of structure or direction. The pacing was kind of off. 

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan Why I loved this one: I loved the worldbuilding here, and the setting of concubines in a castle, quiety rebelling in themselves. Yay.  Why it didn’t quite make the list: It felt a bit juvenile at some points, some things were rushed, and I would have liked a bit more depth to the characters, especially the love interest.

[kriskebob-blog]

Day 3: My experiment is tested by weekend socializing

Hi friends. Happy Saturday night! Tonight I’m blogging about the events of yesterday, which I think was probably my most uneventful day so far on this dietary adventure... at least in terms of shopping and prepping interesting new meals. Both breakfast and lunch were covered by leftovers - we still had half the burrito bake left and then we polished off the salad and zoodles for lunch. According to the order of recipes as given by Dr. G, our next dinner would be spinach and mushroom black bean burritos. I took a look at the recipe. It looked like one of the simplest ones yet. A can of black beans, some minced onion and garlic, some chopped mushroom, a few handfuls of baby spinach... and then some seasoning in the form of savory spice blend (already prepped), cayenne pepper (duh of course I’d have that), summer salsa (already prepped), and then Dr. G’.s “Healthy Hot Sauce (see page 8)”. Psh. This was going to be nothing after all the cooking I’d done yesterday. Today would actually feel like more of a “normal” day where all I really had to worry about cooking was a quick dinner. It felt good and right for a Friday. Time to unwind a little, you know? We also had plans that night to meet up for a game night with some friends who had recently moved back to CT after a few years out west. 

The one thing I’d have to stop and prep before throwing together these vegan burritos was the “healthy hot sauce” but I didn’t think that’d be a big deal. I had purchased several big handfuls of fresh red chiles at Big Y that morning. The guy bagging my groceries had raised his brows. “Habaneros? Oh, man. I wouldn’t eat those,” he shook his head. I smiled politely and thought to myself, Shit. I had never cooked with habaneros before. I hadn’t realized that’s what these peppers were; the bin had only been labeled “hot chiles.” (Does anyone else’s grocery store have this tendency not to specify which fresh chiles are which?? It’s annoying honestly!) I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll just... use less or something if I need to, I thought doubtfully. The cookbook hadn’t specified what kind of chiles to use, it’d just specify that they be “fresh hot chiles, a single type or mixed.” I had gone for the red ones because I’d liked the idea of a traditional red hot sauce. Suddenly I wasn’t so sure about my choice, but no turning back at that point. 

Oh, and in case you wondered how my second trip to the grocery store this week went - MUCH easier! I didn’t end up needing nearly as much stuff the second time, in part because I still had tons of produce left over from my earlier visit this week and I also had less pantry items to purchase this time (didn’t need to return to Whole Foods, thank god). I did end up picking up a big container of unsalted roasted almonds and then lots of blueberries from the farm stand because I was really going to need more fast snacking options if I was going to make it through these two weeks without stuffing granola in my face. Even with two pints of blueberries and 22oz of almonds, my bill was definitely improved from last time. I’ve still spent a lot more on groceries this week than I normally would, but I had expected as much. Hard to avoid it when you’re replacing cheap staples like eggs and toast with a heaping plate of fiber every morning. 

Alright so back to the point aka what I expected to be a totally easy day of food prep. All I needed to prep that night were some simple burritos, this “healthy hot sauce” alternative, and then a snack to share when we went to see our friends. I had decided on the edamame guacamole recipe in Dr. G’s book. Since you obviously want your guac to be as fresh as possible when it’s eaten, I’d wait until we got pretty close to our planned departure time to throw it together. I figured it’d take like ten minutes maybe. 

Sam got home early and was eager to help me prep dinner like the gem that he is. “Honestly, we can probably wait another half hour or so,” I told him. “This isn’t going to take that long to prep or cook.” So we got started around 5:15. We wanted to be at our friends’ place for 7:00 so that seemed like plenty of time to cover a quick dinner and then throw together the guac. 

Except then I flipped back to actually read the “healthy hot sauce” recipe more carefully. I blinked as I realized it wanted me to cook down the chiles for nearly half an hour and then “allow them to come to room temperature.” Would have been no big deal at all... if I had bothered to read this an hour earlier. Whoops. Shit, I thought. Within ~10 seconds I decided screw it. I really wasn’t feeling too confident about those habaneros anyways and we still had a big jug of Frank’s hot sauce in the fridge. Definitely not a whole food, but what the hell was the harm of adding a tiny bit of a normal condiment here or there? I looked again at the burrito recipe. It said to just add hot sauce to taste. We could probably just skip it entirely then. Great. Problem solved. I’ll use those chiles and try to make the hot sauce another day, I thought, doubting myself even as I said the words in my own head. 

As expected, the spinach & mushroom black bean filling was super quick to prepare and cook. One thing I’m realizing is that the cooking process for a lot of these meals is honestly a lot simpler than meat-based meals (or at least so long as you have your fancy hand-made condiments, salsas, sauces, raw cashews, etc etc prepped in advance...). The vegetables often only need a few minutes to cook down, you don’t have to stop to wash your hands every time you handle a piece of raw meat or egg, and, of course, you don’t have to worry about actually cooking any animal protein. Just cook those veggies down some, season them to your liking, and you’re golden. And speaking of seasoning, I did end up adding a bit of Frank’s to the mixture in the pot. But just a splash okay! 

Aw yea. And then here’s a burrito topped with the salsa before it got devoured (it was super messy btw): 

The verdict for this one? Tasty... but again, it needed salt. I haven’t been tasting the food for saltiness before sitting down to eat it because I’ve been trying to stick to Dr. G’s sodium substitutes/replacements but I don’t know how much longer I’m going to last! I actually would have liked to see what it tasted like with some fennel seed added in; I always remember one black bean taco recipe I made ages ago that I loved mainly because of that spice’s inclusion. It’s a nice way to trick your brain into thinking you might be eating sausage. 

We cleaned up the kitchen and it was a little after 6. Our friends only lived 15-20 minutes away. “Let’s wait until like 6:30 before we put together the guac, so that it’s fresh,” I told Sam. 

This was to end up being a major mistake on my part. So, first of all, it was definitely a risky move to decide to bring something like “edamame guacamole” to a social gathering. People are really freaking opinionated about what guacamole is supposed to taste like (myself included, admittedly). I’d had edamame before and I figured its addition would go mostly unnoticed under the flavors of lime, cilantro, jalapeno, etc. 

Looks like the right set-up for the makings of a perfectly normal and tasty guacamole, no?

Sadly, it really just didn’t come out good at all. I tasted it and actually winced. There was a sharp bitter flavor that took me completely aback. “I think the edamame is throwing me off,” I told Sam, who had also tasted it and looked as uneasy as I felt. I wasn’t sure what else the issue could be if not the obvious interloper ingredient. I’d even insisted we add in some kosher salt even though Dr. G, of course, called for his “savory spice blend” instead. Guacamole without any actual salt is a freaking crime, I’m sorry Dr. G. “Add more lime juice maybe?” I suggested to Sam, as he was the one who had thrown it together (have I mentioned that he’s the best?). I also added a bit more salt. 

We tried for a long time to salvage that guac. We added plenty more lime. More tomato. We even decided to blend up another avocado to try and mask the admittedly weird presence of the edamame. I tried it again and still winced a little. It still had a bitter bite to it that we couldn’t seem to mask. “I think it might not even be the edamame... it seems like it might be the jalapeno,” I told Sam. Well. This sucked. I’d just bought a handful of jalapenos fresh from the farmstand that very morning. For maybe the first time ever, Johnny Appleseed’s had let me down, and they had let me down hard. 

We were running pretty late at this point. We hemmed and hawed about if we should stop at the store and pick up something else to bring but in the end we decided to grin and bear it, and off we went to see our friends, subpar homemade guac and freshcut veggies in tow. Our friends were perfectly polite about the guac (we had told them why we’d been late), but let’s just say it definitely wasn’t the hit of the evening. Sigh. Our first foray into sharing a Dr. G recipe with friends had not exactly gone well, but it’s hard to say whether it was the recipe itself or the bitterness of that pepper. I do know that if I made that recipe again, I’d add even more salt, cause honestly Dr. G, if even a metric f@*!-ton of vegetables every day isn’t enough to save my arteries from hypertension, I’m not sure they deserve saving anyways. 

We had a nice night seeing old friends and meeting some new ones. I will say, though, that I was agonizingly tempted by the cookies that were set out for any guest to grab. They were the huge chocolate-chip/M&M ones from Stop and Shop and anyone who’s ever been at a party with me knows I love those things, damn it. I tried not to stare too jealously at everyone else as they ate their cookies and instead I ate a couple of slices of watermelon. I’ve actually never been a watermelon fan, but at that point I was willing to take whatever acceptable form of sugar I could get! And you know, it was honestly pretty good. 

We got home around midnight and I kicked off my shoes, still sighing at Sam about how badly I had wanted one of those cookies. Unsurprisingly, he had no sympathy for me and my self-imposed first world problems. It was past our bedtime but I didn’t want to go to bed, I wanted to plop on the couch with a cookie and a beer, or maybe a nice glass of wine. Just yesterday I was writing about how surviving my first complete day of only plant-based whole foods hadn’t been that hard, but now it was Friday night, a night when Sam and I normally celebrated the end of another work week with some sort of indulgence - a dinner out, a trip to the ice cream stand, a bottle of wine or a six-pack... hell, sometimes all three. I changed into my pajamas and thought about the fact that all of my favorite vices in life seem to involve putting large amounts of sugar and/or a few drinks into my bloodstream. It admittedly didn’t seem awesome for my longterm health to be doing that even as often as once a week. And we’d still had fun that night without any of that, right? Right. 

I dutifully stuffed a final late night snack of some unsalted peanuts into my mouth and ten minutes later brushed my teeth and went to bed. Survived another day and managed to cheat only a tiny bit with my defiant pinches of kosher salt and splashes of Frank’s red hot sauce. 

Hope you’ll be back for Day 4′s write-up tomorrow, friends! Here’s a bonus: an action shot of Sammy the Sous Chef getting our veggie platter ready: 

Gadget rec of the day: A good blender! Most of us already have a blender I think, but if you really want to incorporate more whole foods and produce into your diet I think a good blender is an absolute must. I’ve only been following this diet for three days and I’ve already used our blender more times than I can count on one hand. 

Music rec of the day: “Sophia” by Laura Marling

[weekendwarriorblog]

30 Minute Experiment: Marriage #30ME

Okay, let’s do this.  I promised/threatened that some of these ramblings might get very personal, so at a certain point, you might be reading this experiment as my personal diary blog where I’m talking about whatever’s on my mind at any given time but always geared towards one topic. I also have decided to create a hashtag for this experiment, #30ME, short for “30 Minute Experiment” (duh), but also because it’s mostly about me, there’s a “ME” in there. I haven’t been 30 years old for a very VERY long time.

Let’s get to today’s topic, and as my friend David Kwong says in his show, The Enigmatist, “This is where it gets good!” (and I’m totally paraphrasing his act here, but hopefully it’ll get to start its run at the Geffen Theater in L.A. so people on the West Coast can see it and love it as much as those in and around New York! Shameless plug and link! https://www.geffenplayhouse.org/shows/the-enigmatist/)

So today’s topic is MARRIAGE, and it’s impossible to write about this topic, let alone for 30 minutes, without it getting personal.  Obviously, I’m not married, I’ve never been married and I probably will never get married.

It’s not that I’m against the institution of marriage per se, as I have many friends who are happily married and that union has definitely made them better people, and they all generally seem happy. Sure, I’d love to have that kind of happiness myself but I have this weird thought in my head that I’ll never be married, and it’s something I’ve said SINCE I was actually 30 years old. I remember when my friend and Magic Shop buddy Joe Warda was getting married. It’s how I got the apartment sublet where I now live. He was a little older than me but he met a woman at a wedding and when they got engaged, I told him “I’ll probably never  get married,” and he’d respond with a smile, “That’s what I said!” (Note: Joe is no longer with that woman. I doubt he’ll read this but if he does, I hope he’ll understand that I’m not stating this fact as judgment. I just remember those conversations fondly.)

You have to understand that when I was younger, say 11 or 12 years old, I was already a dreamer, and back then I dreamed of being married and having a family, particularly kids. My family was a bit dysfunctional, and in some ways, it still is, but it probably wasn’t nearly as bad as I remember it. Sure, I had problems with my Dad and my younger sister, but they were all things we got over once we got older and grew apart by distance. 

So here’s this 11 or 12 year old Ed thinking about having that house with a white picket fence (or in my case, black!) and being able to show that I could be a better father than my Dad. I even set a DATE for when I wanted to get married by, and that date was 1/1/00. I was going to be married and with a life partner before I was 35 years old, which seemed like an honorable enough goal.

The problem is that in the time before and since then, I never met anyone who I felt that I could spend the rest of my life. That’s a lie. I met one or two but our relationships never got anywhere to the point where I could propose the idea of even living together. I mean, anyone who has seen my apartment knows that it’s not a place where ANY human should live... let alone TWO humans. I also used to make a joke when I moved in here about how happy I was to not have a roommate after about 6 years of roommates. I would say that I’d never have another roommate... and that was even if I got married! Can you even imagine two people being married but not living in the same place?

So there’s that... the apartment but in the last four or five years, there’s also been the matter of money, because I would want to be a responsible spouse and contribute to the household. I couldn’t imagine being married and not being able to do that, but I also wouldn’t mind marrying a rich superstar with so much money they can take care of me. I doubt that would ever happen, although it’s a nice pipe dream.

There’s also the matter of kids, and though I haven’t really told a TON of people in my life, that stem cell transplant I had over six years ago of the leukemia? I was told before it that I wouldn’t be able to have kids afterwards. It was suggested i might want to freeze my sperm just in case I ever find a partner and want to have kids. So I found a sperm bank to do just that but quickly learned what I already knew... that the five months of chemo treatment I’d been getting to be put into remission had pretty much sterilized me. The transplant took that to the Nth degree, and I feel like the doctor should have mentioned this months earlier rather than waiting so long. I know that when women get stem cell transplants, they’re put into early menopause killing their ability to have kids, too. So imagine being MUCH younger than I was when I was told I couldn’t have kids and know that you can never procreate or give life. Fortunately, anyone my age who went through that may have already been married and already had kids, but not m. 

Back in 2013, I still thought that I would find a partner and have kids some day despite my advanced age, and that was already over six years ago!  So there’s that... impoverished men who can’t have kids are not exactly ideal husband material.

There’s also the idea that as I get older I would want to have someone there for me as a companion and to help me if I needed it. In the last five years since I’ve been back in New York, I’ve had a few procedures that require anesthesia, and those require you bring someone to take you home.  I have a limited number of friends to call on for something like this, as I may have mentioned in my “Friendship” piece last week.  Imagine if I’m still living in the same situation I’m in now when I’m 70, I’m probably gonna want or need someone around. I know what my Mom’s been going through since my Dad died in 2009, and honestly, I don’t blame her for being depressed.

And now on top of all that, we’re all in quarantine. We’re afraid to go out. We’re afraid to be in public with many people. I’m sure it’ll be a long time before anyone will be comfortable getting close or intimate with a stranger.

Oh, and that brings me to another point, and I’m sure this might come as a shocker to some but not to others... I’m asexual. I was already veering towards this before I got leukemia but the radiation I got before transplant was so damaging that it pretty much neutered and sterilized me, so I don’t even seek any sort of partnership for sexual pleasure. It’s just never something that crosses my mind. Again, anyone who knows me (especially the more attractive women around me) may have already figured this out. Who knows? Being a declared asexual is nothing that’s quit as socially acceptable as being gay or trans... but I’m starting to get off topic here.

I should also mention that if my brother, Rob, is reading today’s piece, he probably will text or EMail me saying that I’m oversharing, that I’m revealing parts of my life or lifestyle that should be kept private. You know what? Fuck that shit. (Sorry, Rob, and anyone averse to profanity.) We live in a world where everyone has to conform to certain social norms, and that includes the expectation that men my age will already have found someone to marry. My father started later and only found my mother when he pushing forty, which I always thought may ave contributed to the differences between us because by the time I was 15, he was already almost 60 i.e. older than me.

The idea of me getting tomorrow and having kids right away is just not something that crosses my mind... that is, other than when I decide to make the topic of today’s #30ME be “marriage.” I think a smarter or less brave person might immediately scrap everything I’ve been writing for the last 25 minutes or so, but maybe it’s because I just don’t know what the future brings, I want to get some things off my chest.

And I say it again... I have absolutely zero issues with the concept of marriage, and I love all of my friends who have found someone, and I love all of their partners and spouses, too.  Marriage is right up there with birthdays and funerals in terms of something I like to celebrate. If I know when your wedding anniversary is, you are likely to get a YouTube video of the Flintstones episode where they sing “Happy Anniversary” to the tune of the William Tell overture, something my brother and I loved to do ever since we heard it.

I guess there’s still a chance I might get married someday. I’ve spoken to one of my female friends about possibly marrying when we hit a certain age... maybe I said 50 or 60, I can’t remember... but a lot would have to change in my life (and hers) for that even to be feasible as a marriage of convenience to make sure we both have someone in our old age. 

We’re going through a lot right now, and believe me, going through it completely alone really sucks but also knowing how moody I can be, I can’t even imagine someone else living here with me without us driving each other crazy. 

I’m not sure if this will be the last I talk about this topic. It’s actually the first I’ve ever broached it in my life since hanging with my Magic Shop pal and colleague, Joe Warda. I have a lot of friends that I can get real with but this topic rarely if ever comes up, even with my friends who did get married and ended up splitting, something that’s happening way too much right now.

And with that... my time is up. Another #30ME tomorrow!

[dailrpwmf-blog]

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A Week in NYC. What to do? A Kid-Friendly guide

Visiting the big apple can be overwhelming if you don't know what to do, where to go, where to start.  The best thing to do when visiting NYC, and any other new place really, is to educate yourself on the best places to see, how to get from point A to point B, and about how much things are going to cost you (so you can budget, and also, so you don't get ripped off by the seldom opportunist hustler).  We put together a guide of kid-friendly things to do when you visit The Big Apple; from where to stay, to how to understand transportation, and some good places to eat we found along the way.  So, keep reading and plan your trip!

WHERE TO STAY

Basically, the answer to this question depends on your budget.  As you may already know, NYC is divided into boroughs, and they all vary in price considerably. If you stay in Manhattan you will probably pay a tad more than if you stay a little farther from the touristic sites. We always check out deals that include airfare and hotel on Groupon, or Expedia, or even just lodging through Airbnb for the best prices. 

HOW TO BOOK LODGING/AIRFARE AT A REASONABLE PRICE

Don't settle by checking just one site. Check them all, several times a day, several days a week as the specials change by the hour. We have noticed that a lot of good deals are released on Wednesdays and/or Thursdays nights. If it's Saturday, and you want to book your vacation right away, you will pay more. Similarly, if your stay includes a weekend, you can also pay more as hotel rooms, and plane tickets increase in price if your travel plans include Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Try booking during the week and you could pay less.  

TRAVELING ON A BUDGET?  READ THIS!!!

I FOUND A GREAT DEAL, NOW WHAT?

Once you've found the ideal price for your flight/hotel, start loosely planning your days. We like to have a simple and flexible itinerary when traveling. Yes, sometimes is great to do things as they appear, but finding fun things along the way is not always that easy. You don't want to "waste" your day away while deciding what to do, where to go, and how to get there. Have a plan...IF you find something better along the way, then you can change your itinerary. Flexibility is key. 

RELATED: PACKING WHEN TRAVELING WITH KIDS

START YOUR FIRST DAY ON A LOW KEY

Don't burn yourself out on the first day, especially if you arrive to your destination later on the day.  Relaxing is a very important part of the concept of Vacation. Start sightseeing with whatever is closest and/or easiest to get to, or simply enjoy a good dinner and a short walk.  If you already feel rested, or you are one of those people with extreme amounts of energy, try to follow your itinerary the first day.  

HOW TO GET AROUND

In NYC, you can walk, take the metro, train, taxi or Uber/Lyft. Up to you. Our preferred method for this visit was Metro. Since we knew we were going to use it a lot, several times a day, we opted for purchasing the week-metro card (about $35). You can purchase single tickets as well. Just don't try to skip the entry gate...if they catch you, it's not pretty.  

First thing you want to do is to make sure you have Google maps installed on your phone.  Second, know where you are on a map to decide if you need to go in the "uptown" or "downtown" directions.  Basically, downtown is south, uptown is north...or pretty close. Plug in the address or landmark onto Google maps, and it will tell you, step by step, what train to take, and the times of arrival based on your location.  IT'S AMAZING! Even if the train is running late or if there are scheduled maintenance conflicts, this app will let you know and give your alternative routes and options.  

We recommend that you still get a physical map of the metro, just in case your phone dies or your internet stops working... you never know! Don't get overwhelmed by the map. Once you get familiar with the system, it becomes very easy to read. The trains are color coded and the connection stations are clearly marked on the maps. Grab one before you leave your hotel! They are usually free.

YOUR ITINERARY

Know what you want to see before you arrive to NYC. I've been to the city many times, and I still haven't see it all. Don't think that you can go see everything in a few days... you will burn out.  Here's a list of our recommended places to see and eat while in NYC. You can google the names to get the address and directions. Please note that this is just a personal opinion and does not mean these are the best things to do or eat. If you know of other sites or restaurants that are a must do/see, PLEASE comment down below and let us know!! We would love to try them when we come back!  

WHAT TO SEE

1. THE AMERICAN MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY

Do you know that museum from the movie "Night at the Museum"? Yes, the same! (and if things come alive at night, sign me up for the night shift!) We enjoyed our afternoon at the museum.  NOTE: wear comfortable shoes because it's a lot of walking! The museum is large and there's a lot to cover.  In fact, you might not be able to see it all if you try to rush. There are four accessible floors in this massive building. You might start on the second floor, as the iconic main entrance on Central Park West leads to the second floor. You will have the opportunity to purchase general admission and/or tickets for the additional attractions. The museum is divided by wings, which are pretty much divided by continents fauna/cultures/sub-cultures.  Then you can find ocean life, minerals, and of course, the dinosaurs on the fourth floor. It also has a great planetarium with a stellar presentation narrated by Neal Degrasse Tyson. Don't miss it!

2. TIME SQUARE

This one is a big, "duh!!" Obviously you can't come to The Big Apple and not visit Times Square. The main things to do here are 1. admire the lights and colorful advertising on the buildings, 2. Great dinning, 3. Shopping, 4. Entertainment.   

PLACES IN TIMES SQUARE

RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

This place is AMAZING!! Definitely a must do in NYC. I've been to other Ripley's museums around the country, but the one on Times Square takes the gold. It's full of interactive, weird artifacts and fun activities for the whole family.  It also makes for amazing photo ops!!  It's worth it.

LIKE CHOCOLATE? VISIT M&M WORLD AND HERSHEY'S WORLD ON TIMES SQUARE

Yes, both of these MASSIVE stores are located diagonally from each other right in the heart of Times Square. Word of advice, they are obviously overpriced... like, I can literally buy the same amount of M&Ms at Target for a fraction of the price. The cool thing is that they do offer products that you can't find anywhere else or they are rarely available in stores. We tried to purchase the rare candy and stayed away from the normal products... save your pennies! 

THEATER... THE BEST

Plays like The Lion King, Wicked, and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child are located in Times Square...unfortunately we couldn't purchase tickets in advance...and the fact that are incredibly expensive! You can, however, find great sales on Broadway tickets in Time Square! Keep an eye for those.  

Sleep No More is another AMAZING off-broadway interactive play.  Read the review here ... Just so you know, Sleep No More is NOT kid friendly...so adults only.  

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC ENCOUNTER: OCEAN ODYSSEY

This fabulous interactive experience will take you into the deep ocean and will make you feel very close to the marine life of our world.  Parts of it feel as if you are inside the ocean, while other parts were a little cheesy. Overall, it was good. The kids thoroughly enjoy this guided tour of the seas.  

EATING AT TIMES SQUARE

Two of my favorite places are:  

BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP COMPANY 

Run Forest, Run! Yes, maybe because Forest Gump is one of my ultimate favorite movies of all times, or just because this place is pretty cool, the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company had amazing food! Have shrimp anyway you can imagine... this is the place for that. 

CARMINE'S

You better make reservations for this family style Italian Restaurant or you'll be waiting a long while for a table. The restaurant has been around since 1990 and continues the tradition of large meals for the whole table. Believe me... you don't need an appetizer if it's just two of you. The portions are SO BIG that are aimed for a family of 4+.  We didn't even have room for dessert and we just had ONE entree. It was fantastic!

 3. CENTRAL PARK

This colossal green space in the heart of Manhattan is not only iconic, but also beautiful.  It's a green paradise away (and inside) a jungle of asphalt. Take a morning walk, or have a picnic by a lake while gazing over the city.  It's relaxing.  

4. CENTRAL PARK ZOO

While walking around Central Park, we encounter the zoo. It is NOT very big, but big enough to spend a good couple of hours observing the animals and shopping around.  

5. STATUE OF LIBERTY AND ELLIS ISLAND

Everyone knows New York's most iconic symbol, the Statue of Liberty.  Located on Liberty Island, it is worth visiting this lady at least once. She doesn't look that big from a distance. In fact, she looks faded and small if you observe her from Battery Park. Take a ferry tour (purchase tickets in advance.  Beware of scammers.  I learned that only Statuecruises.com is the direct seller, and most others will charge you an extra fee to get your ticket.  So go directly to statuecruises.com to get them).  When you see Lady Liberty close and in person, you'll realize that she's not only massive, but also bright and colorful.  We opted to do the Crown pass... We saw it as a once in a lifetime opportunity to climb up the very, very, very tight 354 steps to the top. The view was fantastic!

Once you are done with the statue, get on the ferry again towards Ellis Island. Here, you can walk through the shoes of the immigrants that entered this country so long ago.  The things they went through, the things they suffered, how they were treated. This fascinating museum is powerful and interesting.  Don't skip it!

6. CONEY ISLAND

We didn't get in the ocean, but the beach looked beautiful! We walked by the pier and along the boardwalk. It was a fun day of (expensive) carnival rides, and funnel cake! We stopped by NATHAN'S famous Hot Dogs, and shopped for souvenirs. The rides are good, but they cost a pretty penny, so choose wisely.  

WHERE TO EAT?

So many options!!! I cannot possibly tell you about every single place or this list would have to be a book.  Besides the two places in Times Square mentioned above, we visited a couple of local landmarks that are a must: 

LOMBARDI'S

Established in 1905, it's said to be the very first pizzeria in the US! Now, I don't know how true this is, but this place looked pretty retro and has a great atmosphere. Beware! Cash only my friends!! Enjoy good pizza, but bring your cash, as plastic is not accepted. The walls are covered with pictures of the celebrities that have visited the restaurant.  

VENIERO'S

Hands down my favorite dessert place in the world...Another very old city landmark. If you want amazing desserts, go straight there.  Everyone that visits NYC should go here first. Serving pastries and desserts since 1894, this family owned cafe has been in business for five generations. Sweet and heavenly place this is.

BLACK TAP

Black Tap offers craft burgers and beer as well as the most amazing and creative milk shakes you would ever encounter. The milkshakes are massive and should probably be shared and not consumed alone....unless you are OK with the million calories you can ingest. They are deliciously tempting!

PATACON PISAO

In the mood for some good, affordable, Venezuelan cuisine? Go to Patacon Pisao. This very small hole in the wall is made for big taste buds. Get your food to go, or eat it there (if there's a table).  They cook the food as you order it, right in front of you. Guaranteed that you will lick your fingers.

 WHAT ABOUT BREWERIES? 

If you would like to taste some good craft beer you don't have to go very far.  NYC has a few breweries that are kid friendly, so no excuses!  

HEARTLAND BREWERY

With several convenient locations, Heartland Brewery offers great beer and good food.  Their Time Square location is within walking distance of many attractions, so swing by in between or have dinner with your beer!... Or beer with your dinner...whatever.

CONEY ISLAND BREWERY

Like the name suggest, Coney Island Brewery is located in Coney Island.  After a hot day of walking about the boardwalk, take a rest and have a cold one at the brewery.  We weren't sure how kid friendly this place is, but it seemed OK if you sit down outside by a shaded picnic bench.  Their beer was interesting, with cotton candy flavors, and other sours (which are my favorite).  Hubby enjoyed the IPA.  

BROOKLYN BREWERY

By far my favorite NYC brewery.  We tried many of their beers over the week and they were all amazing.  The facilities are very inviting, spacious, and kid friendly.  Definitely a place I would come back to.  Also, the staff is extremely helpful and friendly.  LOVED IT!

OTHER LANDMARKS

There were many other places we visited and many many more we wanted to visit but didn't have the time.  Here are other places you may want to consider for your sightseeing adventure:

*Empire State Building.  

You can climb the stairs or take the elevator to see the city from this 102 floor building.  There's really nothing much else to do, just take a pic and make your way back down.

*MACY'S

I've never seen a store this big in my entire life.  This block long, 10 story building feels like a city within itself.  I am pretty certain that you could find anything you can ever need here.  Also, it's NOT cheap.  I couldn't find a cute outfit under $100.  Cool, but not my kind of store.

*9/11 MEMORIAL

Commemorate those who died in this tragic attack by visiting the museum.  Read the stories and learn about the history and the rebirth of the city after the attack.

*HOBOKEN, NJ

Yes, I know this is not New York, but Hoboken is just a short train ride away.  Hop over the river into the shore of New Jersey, and observe New York skyline from the other side.  It's breathtaking and peaceful.  Also, Hoboken has plenty of restaurants and entertainment to offer!

*CHINATOWN

This culturally rich neighborhood in Manhattan has a lot to offer for a fun afternoon of great food and good, cheap shopping.  Hundreds of vendors and stores will try to lure you into their shops, while the smell of good food will lure your nostrils and wake your appetite.  Beware of scammers and be vigilant of offers that sound too good to be true!

There are many, many more attractions, museums, landmarks, and sites that I didn't mention. I mean, NYC is a place with 8.5 million people! I'm giving testimony of what I've experienced when I traveled.  Please feel free to add to this list by commenting below!!!

Bon Voyage!!

Always, 

Mia