#Only just making this now on a whim thanks to a friends encouragement<3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[alittledifferentpokemonstory]

Disclaimer:

This is a canon divergent blog about the Pokemon world and most importantly the psychic cats we all love.

They will have different names personalities origins motives emotions what not. The lore will be different events will be different even designs may be different this is a whole different universe after all.

This will hopefully be a joint art and written blog from movie screenshot redraws and original story art hopefully to rewritten movie events

Activity may be slow on this blog as I'm only human and still working out art stuff and finding time to write.

Asks will be open possibly from time to time or asks will be answered on my general art blog @/mushroom-for-art.

Hopefully refs and such can be added under a readmore here as and when they're done.

[wonustars]

𖠗 𓂃 。˚ ⋆𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘢𝘰, 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘉𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘗𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘳

pairings: xu minghao x reader genre: one night stand, s2l (?), smut (mdni), drabble, *not proof read* word count: 1.3k words synopsys: on a whim, your friends dare you to get nipple piercings done at minghao's tattoo and piercing shop. inspired by: this minghao lip piercing vid

tags: bodypiercer/tattooartist!mingaho, touchstarved!reader, afab!reader, minghao has a lip and tongue piercing. smut tags/ warnings : nipple play, unprotected sex (plz do not do this w strangers lol), cream pie, fingering, pet names (sweetheart, baby), unrealistic portrayals of getting your nipples pierced.

likes, comments, reblogs are appreciated/encouraged ^-^

note: ...hi lol the amount of times i saw that video of mingaho... like i can't not just post a short fic about him being the person to do your first body piercing (?) djflajdfhkjahk . this is my first time posting something so short lol. this is just a lil something so i could take a small break from writing my scoups fic :>. lmk what u think!!! enjoy heeheh &lt;;3

“You’re going to have to take off your shirt.” Minghao looks at you, a little unimpressed.

With doe eyes, you nod hesitantly. Laying down on the sterilized but soft piercing bed, your palms begin to sweat. The thought of the needles going through your sensitive nipples, twice, is causing you to second guess your friends’ dare. The adrenaline rush catching up with you, making you believe that you should’ve just asked for another option. Anything but this…, you chanted in your head.

Minghao puts his gloves on, glancing back at you to see what state you’re in, concluding that you’re at the stage of regret.

He prepares all his piercing instruments on a tray beside where you lay. As he takes his seat on the chair your pulse starts to pick up again. Thanking god that the tattoo shop had private rooms for piercings.

“Uh Miss. Your shirt?” He asks again, the needle now in his hands.

“Oh. Oh! Right sorry.” You chuckle uncomfortably, lifting up your baby tee. Your nipples now on full display for a complete stranger. An attractive stranger at that.

“You know you don’t have to do this.” He says nonchalantly as he tweaks your nipples. It causes your breath to hitch, the feeling his fingers on twisting you. You know it’s not in a sexual manner, but you feel a buzz rushing down to your core.

You can’t help but notice the way his tugs at his lip piercing, his tongue occasionally poking out of his mouth, allowing you to catch a glimpse of his tongue piercing.

“I-it’s too late now.” You stutter. Your answer comes out almost in a breathy moan but you quickly cover it up with a cough.

“Hm. Not really. I can see how scared you are.” Minghao shrugs.

He notices the way your thighs squeeze together. He smirks inwardly, the fact that you’re getting turned on during a piercing is intriguing to him.

“Well I can’t just back out now.” You whine, Minghao continues to prod at your nipples. Trying to find the perfect place to strike the needle through. He finally picks up on the effect he has on you.

“You’re quite a dirty girl aren’t you?” He chuckles, staring into your eyes.

You freeze at his words, the seriousness in his gaze indicating he isn’t joking around.

“W-what the fuck? Why would you even say that?”

“Because I know that pussy of yours is dripping right now.” He smirks.

You’re utterly baffled, your mouth opening and closing but you can’t seem to answer him. He isn’t even wrong, you’re so turned on just from him playing with your nipples.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about” You huff, the blush on your cheeks running down to your neck.

You do know though, because you can feel your panties begin to stick to your pussy lips.

Minghao puts down his piercing instruments and takes off his gloves, standing up from his chair to tower over your laying body. His hand trailing up your inner thigh, it surprises you enough that you let out a soft whimper. Minghao only smirks at your reaction.

He isn’t the type to fuck a client, but the way your doe eyes looked at him as he tried to find the sweet spot on your sensitive buds turned him on. He knew right at that moment that he was going to pierce you in more than one place, except the second time wasn’t going to be with a needle.

As his long fingers ascend up your thigh, he finally reaches the heat between your legs. His movements causing your skirt to hike up your body.

“Naughty naughty girl…” He mutters as he feels for the dampness on your underwear.

If he weren’t so damn hot, you really wouldn’t be feeling this way. But it was something about his dark hair and the way his tongue played with his lip piercing, it was hypnotizing to say the least.

“Hmmph please,” You let out a wanton sigh, your eyebrows scrunching.

His fingers rub your throbbing clit through the fabric of your underwear. His movements precise due to his years of experience tattooing and piercing people.

“What do you want sweetheart?” He coos.

Minghaos fingers move your panties to the side, letting the pads of fingers glide against your cunt. Rubbing circles on your puffed bud, he begins to kiss up your exposed upper half. His wet kisses and lip piercing leaving a hot and cold tingling against your searing skin.

“Y-your fingers. Please.” You beg him, gripping onto the forearm that’s playing with your sopping core.

He doesn’t say anything more. Giving into your request, he places two fingers into your fluttering hole. You moan loudly, feeling the sensation of his long digits filling you.

“You’re fucking soaking baby” He groans, imagining how tight you’re going to feel on his cock.

Minghao cant wait. He wants to know what it feels like to be inside you.

Pulling down his pants and boxers, he frees his hard length. Sighing at how unrestricted he is.

You lift your back off the piercing bed, leaning back with your arms supporting you. You create space for him, spreading your legs to let Minghao slip between them. Your panties stay pushed to the side, skirt hiked around your hips, and your shirt pulled up past your heavy breasts.

Minghao takes you in, seeing how sexy you look exposed for him.

“Tell me what you want me to do.” He demands, voice unwavering. It sends a shiver up your spine, loving how dominant he is.

“Want your cock please.” You whine, spreading your legs further.

He shakes his head and laughs softly, moving closer to fill in the space between you two. His lips touching yours, surprisingly soft. His tongue enters your mouth quickly, and your whimper at how his tongue piercing feels against your wet mouth.

You wrap your hands around his neck, legs around his waist. He long member poking at your entrance, teasing you. It bumps against your clit slightly, so much so that you being to lose patience.

Taking matters into your own hands, you grab his dick, pumping it a few times before leading it into your entrance. Minghao follows your actions, moving his hips forward to finally sheath himself in your warmth.

You both moan at the sudden intrustion, your mouths open, tongues playing with each other as he begins to pump himself in you.

A salacious moan leaves your lips, you throw your head back as his long hardness fill you completely, bumping into your cervix ever so slightly.

Minghao grips on your thighs harshly, completely feeling the ridges of your hot pussy. You’re completely sucking him in and he can’t get enough. The noise of your wet cunt being fucked by him is sending him closer to his orgasm by the second. he can’t help but move faster, just to hear the way his skin slaps against yours.

He only speeds up as time passes, causing your juices to leak onto the leather beneath you. Minghao dares to look down between you two, seeing the way his thick cock is splitting you open.

“F-fuck! ‘M gonna come” You exclaim, gripping onto his biceps.

“Come for me baby.” He mutters, thrusting in and out of you like no tomorrow.

You finally let go the second he takes one of his hand to rub your clit, tipping you over the edge with a stroke of his thumb. Your pussy clenches hard against him, sending him into his own release.

“Wanna cream you baby” He says in pants, you can only nod, already feeling over stimulated.

He takes that as permission to release his hot load into you.

Still continuing to rut his hips into yours, he rides out his high. The sight of his seed spilling past your lips and forming a white ring on his cock is enough to make him hard again.

To your dismay he pulls out, grabbing a paper towel to wipe his release off your thighs.

“So how about that piercing?” You ask with a shy smile, chest still heaving up and down from your previous ministrations.

© wonustars

𖠗 𓂃 。˚ ⋆

general taglist: @christinewithluv @soonyoonswoo

a/n: thank you for reading! if there’s any typos/mistakes/missing tags lmk! likes, comments, reblogs, and feedback are always appreciated. have a question, thought, or request? leave it in my ask box. mwah &lt;;3

- anna!!

[junkissed]

enha surprise adopting a kitten

member — enhypen hyung line (heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon) x gn reader genre — fluff, sfw word count — 1.6k warnings — kissing, pet names (baby, babe, beautiful, etc.) that's about it notes — requested by @onlymingyus — thank you sm for the request my lovely mars !! this is my first time posting for a group besides svt so i hope yall enjoy reading :) if you did please feel free to reblog or send an ask, it is super encouraging and helps me keep writing <3 enjoy!

heeseung . . . might be confused why it had to be a surprise, because he would’ve said yes anyway, but he would ultimately accept it pretty easily. it's not the weirdest thing you've ever brought home, and he's been thinking about getting a pet anyway, so this is honestly a win all around. he’s flexible and he’ll adapt to pretty much anything you throw at him, so fitting a cat into your daily lives won’t be difficult on his part.

"where did you find that?" he asks nonchalantly when you walk in the door, strolling out of the living room to greet you.

"no idea, he just followed me home. maybe we're being stalked." you giggle as you lean in to give him a kiss, the same way you do every single day when you get home, and he grins at how ordinary this is for you. only you could show up with a kitten unannounced and act like it's the most normal thing in the world. but he loves your normal.

you hand the tiny kitten off to him as you shut the door behind you and slip off your shoes, and you miss the tender look in his eyes while you're digging through your purse in search of something. "obviously i adopted him," you admit, looking up at him as you finally find what you were looking for.

"well, i can never tell with you, baby. the other explanation worked too," heeseung laughs, carefully stroking his index finger over the kitten’s head. you can already tell it’s going to be impossible to get the two of them apart, already forming an instant, inseparable bond.

you hold out the small stack of papers for him to glance at. "the shelter was having an adoption event, and i saw it on my way home from work. and besides, i felt like we needed a little guy running around here. you'll get lonely without me all day."

your reasoning makes the corners of his mouth turn up in a smirk, because it's such a you thing to do. your spontaneity is one of the things he loves most about you, the fact that you could adopt a kitten on a whim because you think he needs a reminder of you. what you don't realize is that everything already does remind him of you, but… he supposes a furry little friend couldn't hurt, too. "you know me so well, beautiful. can't live without you."

you beam at him, and he can't help but think that he'd let you surprise him with a zoo full of kittens if it means he gets to see you smile like that all the time. "so… you like him?"

"of course i do." he leans in to give you a kiss, and you laugh when the tiniest, softest mew springs up from between you.

"good," you say, kissing him back. "because i think he already likes you."

jay . . . obviously can't have a real cat, but i think he’d still enjoy your surprise. he always indulges in your surprise endeavors, and although he has his reservations you always manage to make him smile in ways he doesn’t expect.

"i got you a surprise," you grin as you walk into the kitchen, clutching something behind your back.

"what is it this time?" he turns and looks up from the pan on the stove where he’s started making dinner, cocking an eyebrow at you. try as he might, he never knows what you’re going to bring home with you next, but he’s gotten used to it.

"a kitten."

his eyes narrow in lighthearted suspicion, and he points his spatula at you warily. you’ve had this conversation before, and as much as he would love to own a house full of cats, he just can’t. even the hypoallergenic breeds don’t make much of a difference, so for now he’s content with cat videos on the internet and the occasional trip to volunteer at the animal shelter, as long as he stocks up on allergy medicine beforehand. "babe, you know—"

but before he can finish his sentence you pull your arms around to reveal what you've been hiding: a stuffed toy cat with a bow around its neck.

"cute," he concedes, his expression softening. he should’ve guessed it would be something like this. you know him too well and love him too much to ever purposely do something he wouldn’t be able to enjoy.

"you really thought i brought you a real cat?" you grin playfully at his reaction, because it was exactly the response you’d been hoping for. your boyfriend is too much fun to tease, and you can never resist the opportunity to string him along for the sake of a little fun.

jay pointedly ignores your question and turns back to his cooking, but he doesn’t try to hide the small smile on his face. "dinner’s on in 10. will our… new friend, be joining us?"

you wrap your arms around him from behind and kiss him on the cheek. "of course. i’ll be sure to set out an extra plate."

jake . . . is a dog person through and through, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy having a cat, too. he would be excited at the idea of it at first, but he’d get more nervous as time goes on. it’s a lot of responsibility owning a pet, and although he’s an experienced dog dad he doesn’t know much about taking care of a cat.

"are you sure? what if she, like, bites?"

you shrug with a smile, still cupping the kitten in the palms of your hands and holding her out for him to look at. "i don’t know, jake, it’s just a kitten. she’s not going to murder you in your sleep. she’s probably just as scared of you as you are of her."

he lets out a chuckle at that, because he knows you’re right. he knows it’s an irrational thing to be afraid of, and it’s really not even a fear in the first place, but he’s can’t help that he’s just awkward around cats. he’s more used to dogs; what do you even do with a cat?

but it isn’t long before he’s playing with the kitten just as enthusiastically as he plays with layla, and there’s been more than a couple times when you’ve come home and found the three of them playing fetch together. at first he’d been worried about whether a kitten would be able to fit into your routine, but although he had his doubts he quickly comes to love your new friend. he's a fast learner when it comes to taking care of things, and before long he'd be a natural at it.

sunghoon . . . might be hesitant, but not for long. his reaction would be like when dads say they don't want a pet but then a week later you find him explaining the rules of football to them. he’s more easily won over than he thinks: he swears up and down that he only likes dogs, but then you see him being so attentive to your new kitten and you can’t help but laugh because his soft spot is so obvious even though he always tries to deny it. that kitten is going to be his new best friend, whether he likes it or not (spoiler: he likes it.)

"did you get more cat treats when you went to the store the other day?" he asks casually, not looking up from his phone where he’s sitting on the couch. the newest member of your family sits curled up on his lap, sleeping soundly as he runs his fingers gently over the soft fur of her back.

you hum curiously in reply. "no? there was half a bag left last time i checked. are they gone already?"

sunghoon doesn't reply, which is an admission in itself, and you can't help but roll your eyes and smile.

"you know you're only supposed to give cats a couple of those a day, at most?"

"well, it's her fault, not mine." he makes a huffing noise in disagreement, and it's so endearing you can't actually be mad at him, as much as you'd like to scold him. "she was giving me that look. she deserved those treats. i couldn't deny her."

you find it endlessly adorable how in love he is with this kitten, despite his insistence otherwise. on the outside he seems quiet, but he's really just thinking of the things he still has to do. have the toys he ordered online shipped yet? did he remember to change the litter box? has he spent enough time cuddling today— with both you and the kitten? these are all vital questions that he has to make sure are addressed, and the current order of business on his list is the lack of cat treats. luckily for him, he's not the only one in the house who has a soft spot: you have one for him, too.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!! this is also my first time (officially) writing for enhypen so pls let me know how you liked it, feedback is super appreciated <3

if you want to be notified when i post a new fic, you can join my taglist here!

taglist — located in the replies (i will be tagging those who selected "yes, tag me for everything" on my taglist form, but if you'd like me to remove you please lmk! i probably will not be posting many non-svt fics like this so don't worry lol)

[halfway-house-in-hell]

alastor redesign

click for higher quality (and also to see his antlers tumblr cut them off 😢)

ramblings under the cut!!

-alastor was a famous radio presenter in the 1930's. he was also a serial killer and a cannibal, who died in 1939.

-he wished to be famous in his life, but he could not safely become a tv show host or a movie star because of the racism of the time, so he chose to hide behind radio instead, never showing his face. he was quite poor in his youth and so became obsessed with eating, which led to him becoming a cannibal. he is always hungry. hungry for fame, hungry for power, hungry for flesh.

-he died of starvation. he was chasing a victim through the woods when his foot got caught in a bear trap. he was stuck there for 3 days before succumbing to his injuries. (thats why hes so alarmingly skinny)

-his reputation as a serial killer preceded him when he arrived in hell. major evils dying is always a big event, and he used this to gain power

-he now sits as a major overlord - but none of his empire is real. he doesn't have any major powers, and has lied his way to the top by implying that he has more power than he is letting on. he doesn't.

-he discovers Charlie's hotel through her tv show last-ditch pitch (same as the pilot, except ive now decided that that interview cost them the last of their hotel money, so the stakes to find an investor were higher). he decides to sponsor Charlie's hotel because he wants POWER, real substantial power to ensure his throne of lies is safe, and he figures manipulating Lucifer's weak daughter is the easiest way to get that power.

-he is immediately overbearingly friendly to her, which valtiel & the other guests find suspicious. he begins bending the hotel to his whims, making it more suited to his tastes.

-he has large amounts of money and a popular radio show, which he uses to fund and advertise the hotel

-he tends to disappear when fights start

-his best friend is nifty. they have a very strong bond. he often communicates her worries for her, and in return she spies on the guests for him. he doesn't even own her soul they're just buddies

-he's still aroace but not bc he only cares about himself. thats stupid

-he is intentionally mysterious and speaks in riddles & lotts of 1930s slang

-he is firmly still in the 1930s, to an unusual extent. he has all the dated ideas and mannerisms of the 30's, refusing to become more modern.

-his room in the hotel is entirely monochrome

-he shares Charlie's love of musicals, and often encourages her to sing. whether his like of them is genuine or an act is unclear

-ok thats it thanks for reading

[shyvioletcat]

Happy Holidays @mariaofdoranelle ! Sorry this is on the late side, I over extended myself and work was cruelly hectic and I’m currently on a cruise and miscalculated my days that I’d have reception. That being so, I can promise you that this will be a three part series, parts 2 and 3 coming to you in the early new year. Enjoy!

~~~~~

Rowan sat at the very end of the wooden slat bleachers that overlooked the polished dance floor. His daughter was out there with her brown hair in a doughnut shaped bun on top of her head, wearing a pink leotard and a floaty wrap skirt. Ivy was the ideal picture of a ballerina in training, her wide green eyes wide and attentive, taking in everything her teacher was saying. Arms poised, knees bent, she was ready to mimic the steps as best as her 4 year old coordination would allow.

Although Rowan couldn’t hear what was being said, he had a hard time keeping his eyes off the teacher too. Miss Aelin, as the students referred to her, was dressed similarly to the group of girls lined up in front of the mirror, except her outfit was black and she wore her long golden hair in a high ponytail. She was a stunning woman, graceful and elegant as she helped her students rehearse for the end of year concert. There was genuine kindness shining through as she encouraged each one of them, it’s what made her such a good teacher. But that wasn’t what had him under her spell.

When Rowan walked into this dance studio nearly a year ago he had never expected to see his college flame ready to teach his daughter. Flame was a mild way of putting it. Aelin had come into Rowan’s life like a wildfire, merciless in the way she so easily consumed him entirely. They had been perfect for each other, compatible in the best kinds of ways. But in the end, their lives had taken them on different paths and they regrettably had to be mature adults and call their relationship to an end. That had been the most painful experience of Rowan’s life. Aelin had been the one that got away, and turned out he had been hers too. Life had taken them in such different directions and Rowan thought he’d be lucky to see her again. So when he saw her welcoming the students into the dance hall it had stopped him in his tracks, struck dumb like he had seen a ghost. Aelin had gone as pale as one, eyes darting between him and the little girl that held his hand.

Rowan had watched for a long moment as Aelin’s brain tried to piece the puzzle together, feeling too stunned to say anything himself. When the ability to speak returned the first thing he blurted out was “I’m divorced”. Aelin flushed pink but then laughed, a sound that had Rowan’s chest aching with how much he had missed that sound. Aelin had given him a wink and a quiet “thanks for letting me know” and then introduced herself to Ivy and went back to the rest of her students. After that first lesson Rowan had stayed after his ex-wife took Ivy home and the stories came out.

Once Rowan had left college in Terrasen he came back to Doranelle for work, then met Lyria not long after. They dated for a while, thought the next step was to get married and start a family. Turns out it wasn’t, they just weren’t working no matter how hard they tried. Parting on amicable terms they now coparented and made much better friends than spouses. Aelin had been on a whirlwind adventure travelling the world. She had eventually started working for her parents, but ended up feeling lost. So on a whim she booked a plane ticket for Doranelle and found a job working for the dance studio.

They hadn’t seen each other for six years and had lived such different and separate lives. But somehow within a few months they fell back into place so easily. Rowan had asked Aelin out on a date, taking it slow so they could get to know each other again, then within no time, that familiar wildfire was burning making the years scatter like ashes on the wind.

The only hiccup was Ivy, and not in an outright bad way. It wasn’t a great look for the dance teacher to be dating one of the dads and Ivy loved to dance so much they didn’t want to jeopardise that in any way. So Lyria knew, but Ivy didn’t, they would be telling her after the end of year Yulemas concert and Aelin was even considering quitting. Rowan didn’t want that, but they would work it all out in the new year.

“And one, two, and three.” Aelin's voice echoing in the dance space brought Rowan back to the present. The students spun a bit haphazardly, but Aelin didn’t scold them for their poor form, she just smiled and said, “like this.”

With the epitome of grace, Aelin spun, her golden hair swaying. Too easily Rowan could imagine his fingers entwined with those silky strands, fingers tangled as he—

Rowan stopped himself from taking that thought any further. This was not the time or place for such… imaginings. But watching Aelin’s hair sway on her exposed back, it was difficult not to.

“You’re drooling,” Lyria said from beside him, making Rowan jump. He had been watching Aelin so intently he hadn’t noticed anything else.

“Am not,” Rowan replied.

“Not literally, but figuratively? Absolutely,” Lyria teased as she stepped up into the bleachers to sit next to Rowan.

Rowan chuckled. Teasing them was one of Lyria’s favourite things to do, both he and Aelin had been hilarious victims of Lyria’s wit. “I’ll try and stop.”

That made Lyria snort. “Good luck with that. You’re smitten.”

He was. Completely and utterly.

“You’re free to go now,” Lyria said. The arrangement was that Rowan dropped Ivy off for dance and then Lyria picked her up. Usually he would leave, but tonight he was considering hanging around. With the busyness of rehearsals and preparing for the concert, he hadn’t seen Aelin much the past two weeks. And he missed her.

“Think I’ll hang around.”

Lyria didn’t say anything. She just gave Rowan a knowing look and a nudge on his knee with her’s. About 15 minutes later the class ended, and a chorus of voices sang out “thank you, Miss Aelin”. Before getting her bag, Ivy ran up to Aelin, hugging her around the hips before running away. Rowan saw Aelin’s expression soften and the affectionate gesture and the tinge of longing as she watched the girl move away. They both desperately wanted Ivy to know, and they only had to hold out a little longer.

“Da! Did you see me?” Ivy asked as she clambered up the benches to where her parents were sitting.

“Of course I did, little love,” Rowan replied. “You’re doing so well.”

Ivy beamed at him, making Rowan’s chest fill with a warm fuzzy feeling. His daughter was truly the light of his life.

“Come on, Ives, Da is busy,” Lyria said, taking Ivy’s duffle bag.

“He’s just sitting there,” Ivy pointed out.

“Not for long,” Lyria countered. “Say goodbye and he’ll see you Monday.”

Ivy launched herself into Rowan’s arms, squeezing him tight while saying goodbye. Rowan kissed her head and said his own goodbye, offering his daughter a wave back as she frantically waved at him until the last second. He turned his attention back to the dance floor, expecting to see Aelin either packing up or waiting for him, but the space was empty except for him. She must not have seen him unexpectedly staying behind. Knowing he didn’t have long before Aelin locked up, Rowan headed for her office. It was down a short hallway off the main dance space, and sure enough, he found her there leaning over to read some papers on her desk.

Rowan took a moment to admire the sight before him, the angle of Aelin’s body accentuating her long legs and dip of her waist. Her hair had fallen to the side, allowing him to admire her exposed back. Before he once again got too lost in his thoughts, he knocked on the open door, making Aelin startle.

“Rowan,” she almost gasped once she turned to see who had knocked. “What are you doing here? I was coming over later.”

Rowan strode into the room. “I missed you too much.”

Smirking up at him, Aelin said, “I tend to have that effect on people.”

Unable to wait any longer Rowan cupped Aelin’s cheeks and kissed her. Immediately Aelin melted into him, bringing her body flush with his. He couldn’t help himself, his hands roamed, feeling the warmth of Aelin’s skin through her thin leotard. When his thumbs skimmed the sides of her breasts and she whimpered into his mouth, Rowan’s tether snapped.

Nudging the chair out of the way with his foot, Rowan backed them up until Aelin’s thighs hit the desk. She didn’t need any encouragement to sit atop it, her knees widening so he could stand between them.

“I missed you, too,” Aelin murmured between kisses. “So much.”

Rowan’s response was to press their bodies closer, in a way that had Aelin moaning. His cock was hard, missing the memo that they were still in the dance studio.

“We should stop,” the rational part of Rowan’s brain voiced, even as the irrational part had him kissing Aelin harder.

It seemed rationality was becoming scarce because all Aelin did was bring him closer with her legs, grinding up the length of him. “Don’t stop. I need you.”

That request was more than enough for him. Rowan’s hands dragged down the front of Aelin’s body. It was too easy to pull down the thin leotard Aelin wore, exposing her breasts. Rowan took the weight of them in his hands, brushing his thumbs over the stiffening peaks. Aelin hissed through her teeth at the touch but when Rowan drew back to see if she was all right Aelin pulled him down by the collar of his button up.

“Just sensitive, don’t stop,” she breathed and then kissed him again.

Rowan wasn’t about to protest, and as Aelin got to work on his shirt his hands travelled down her body instead, fingers tracing the seam around her the top of her thighs. Then he slipped one finger beneath, then two, and held back his own moan when he felt the evidence of how ready she was for him.

“Fuck,” Rowan muttered, knuckles running along the seam of her stockings. “Aelin, I don’t know if I can wait.”

“I already told you not to stop.” Aelin emphasised her point by undoing his belt buckle and then the button on his pants. “So don’t.”

Before Aelin could distract him by getting her hands on him, Rowan hooked two fingers into the flimsy mesh of her stockings beneath her leotard and tugged. Hard. Just like he hoped the fabric tore and to finish the job he tucked the leotard to the side. Rowan ran his thumb through Aelin’s folds, circling her clit. Throwing her head back, she moaned as her hips rolled with the rhythm he was setting. Then she reached for his cock and pulled it out without hesitation.

“No playing, I need you now,” Aelin urged.

With a kiss Rowan pulled Aelin to the edge of the desk and then lined him up with her entrance. He pushed the tip in, he always loved the first few moments of coming together. But Aelin was obviously feeling impatient, and Rowan wasn’t doing much better, so with a steadying hand on her hip he slid in all the way.

“Oh gods,” Aelin panted, the hand in his hair tightening. “You feel so fucking good.”

Rowan rolled his hips, pressing himself that fraction deeper, Aelin’s whimper of pleasure had his cock twitching. With her teeth sunk into her bottom lip she moaned as Rowan began to thrust in and out. He wanted to pull that lip free, to let all the delicious noises Aelin made come out unhindered, but he still had enough awareness to realise they were in public. Even though he was sure they were entirely alone, he also didn’t want to risk drawing attention to their location. Later he’d have her splayed out in his bed and she could scream as loud as she wanted.

Aelin clung to him as Rowan set a steady rhythm. Wanting access to her neck, his hands slid up her back, stopping when his fingers were tangled in Aelin’s hair. He tugged, Aelin’s head falling back with that encouragement, then he was pressing open mouthed kisses up the length of her neck. Needing more, Aelin worked her hands between them, shuddering as her fingers brushed her clit.

“Good girl, giving yourself what you need,” Rowan praised.

That had Aelin trembling right before her muscles locked. “Rowan, I’m gonna—“

Her moan was low, rumbling from deep in her throat, Rowan felt it with his lips pressed to Aelin’s skin. All the pressure in her body snapped, her hips undulating as she rode his cock, drawing out the waves of her orgasm. Feeling Aelin’s body respond to the pleasure he was giving and she was taking had Rowan’s own climax breaking, thrusting hard as he spilled into her.

They shared sweet kisses once their bodies had stilled, stopping once their smiles made it impossible for their lips to touch.

“Can I take you home?” Rowan asked once they tidied up and were presentable. At least the best they could be. The hole Rowan had tore in Aelin’s stocking gaped at the very top of her thigh, with her still perched on the desk it was hard not to look at it and admire his handiwork.

Aelin noticed when his gaze had locked, a delicious shade of pink flushing her cheeks. To save the both of them from making another questionable choice, she hopped off the desk and let her skirt fall around her thighs.

With a hand on his chest Aelin rose up on her toes and pressed a kiss to Rowan’s cheek. “I couldn’t think of anything I want more.”

~~~~~

[lament1ng-luxcubus]

Jirai ask game!

1, 4, 15, 24!

HIHIHIHI!!

1 - When did you first learn about Jirai Kei?

On Tumblr, actually! I had been within the menhera side of things for a while and things got super bad back in.. September, I believe? I was actually rarely on Tumblr before, I only had an account due to my friend encouraging me to make one. So I was mindlessly scrolling and got a bunch of Jirai Kei stuff onto my feed and found it super relatable. So, mostly on a whim, I made an entire separate account and I'm really happy I did now!! :D

4 - Do you have any Jirai Kei-esque or general character you relate to/like?

Oh wow, I have a ton of characters I find relatable (Fictonkin goes crazy). I'm trying to think if any of them would be Jirai Kei-esque though.. Maybe Nagito Komeada?? Yes from Danganronpa because I'm embarrassing T^T Mikan Tsumiki (also from danganronpa..) might fit the bill better actually.. So that's my final answer!

15 - Favorite game?

OH MY GOD!! I've briefly mentioned how I've been getting into Dating Sims on here, they're so incredibly fun!! So yeah, my favorite game would definitely be (at the moment anyways..) Heart Fragment!! It was one of the first Dating Sims I got into and I fell so deeply in love with it! And I bought the DLC for it, it's not only fun to play but incredibly fun to talk about! :D

24 - What is your biggest Jirai Kei pet peeve?

That's a difficult one.. mostly because I've mostly only interacted with the community on Tumblr and everyone (of what I've seen so far) have just been really nice and incredibly accepting?? I guess it would be people who believe you have to own the fashion to be Jirai Kei? Yeah, that's what I'm going with!

WAAAA! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! <3

[jihyuncompass]

Unexpected Changes

It’s time for a very special fic for a very special boy who lives in my head and my heart. Happy birthday Shawty I love you <3

I want to give a very very special thanks to my wonderful friend @otherlandshark​ for giving me this idea, your mind never ceases to amaze me and I love you so very much. 

I would also love to give thanks to everyone who has encouraged me or helped me with this fic. There’s several of you, some of which aren’t on here. But thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. 

Summary: You decide to surprise Shaw for his birthday, but some unexpected events get in the way. 

Shaw x MC

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Some cursing, adult jokes. 

-----------------------

Leaning forward you squinted at the calendar in front of you checking it, you confirmed the date, June 21st. The date was circled in a red pen, the little box for the date had Shaw’s B-day!!!!! Written in the same red felt pen. You smiled to yourself as you reached out to your phone left face down on the table beside you. 

You’d half expected a text from Shaw already, after all he usually was the one to text you first. Yet when you checked your notifications you didn’t see anything from him. You sat down at the kitchen table, considering if you should text him first, maybe he was sleeping in today, his finals should be done by now so maybe he was taking a day to rest. Even if that didn’t really sound like Shaw’s style. 

As it turns out, you didn’t have to wait too long to decide if you should text him or not. Your phone screen lit up with a text message, the contact image of a young lavender haired man. 

Shaw: Do you remember what today is?

MC: Oh I know this one!

MC: It’s monday!

Shaw:....

Shaw: Care to try again? 

MC: Ah fine, it’s the 21st of June!

Shaw: You’re not wrong, but do you know what else it is? 

MC: Hmmmmm 

Shaw: Hm?

You knew very well that Shaw’s birthday was today, but still you wanted to tease him a little bit. Maybe just to get back at him a little bit for his usual rounds of teasing you. 

MC: Maybe you should remind me what today is, since it seems I don’t know

Shaw: Or, how about we meet up? 

Shaw: With my finals I’ve haven't had the time to entertain you 

MC: Oh today? I’m not sure if I have the time…

Shaw: You can’t be that busy can you? 

MC: Shaw it’s Monday! I have a job you know 

MC: Buuuuut 

MC: It is a bit slow today, perhaps I could take the day off. 

Shaw: Meet me at the park.  Don’t be late. 

MC: Hey!!! I should be telling YOU that!!!! 

Putting your phone back down on the table you quickly rose from your seat. You had preemptively taken the day off, preparing for today weeks ago. Today was not only his birthday, but also right after his final exams for school. Both events in your eyes were worthy of a celebration. 

First, you got yourself dressed and ready, putting on the carefully chosen ensemble, an outfit more in line with Shaw’s personal style than your own, but one you knew he’d appreciate seeing you in. 

You pulled out the large picnic basket from your closet, putting it down on the table while you opened your fridge door to grab the neatly packaged and wrapped food you’d spent the night before putting together. Once you finished your personal game of picnic basket tetris you carefully snuck in a picnic blanket on top. 

The last step was the gift wrapped box sitting on the other side of your dining table, the gift was wrapped with the shark wrapping paper you’d special ordered on a whim the week beforehand. You slipped the box into your bag, trying to keep it at least a little bit hidden from view. You slipped on your shoes as you held your bag in one arm and the picnic basket in the crook of your elbow. 

The bright blue sky was the first thing you noticed when you stepped outside. The warm new summer air swaying the newly bloomed flowers on your path. The summer breeze was just warm enough that you felt a bead of sweat appear on your brow as you walked to the park you had arranged to meet at. 

Since the weather was so warm for the first time in what seemed like forever it looked like everyone in the city was outside today. Families walked into ice cream shops, groups of friends wandered into stores and restaurants. Couples holding hands walking down the sidewalk hand in hand. 

The park wasn’t any less busy, it took several rounds walking along the park to find the perfect spot to get yourself set up, after walking the perimeter for a while you found a good spot you could get yourself situated. 

Your phone rang just as you finished pulling out the last items from your picnic basket. Once the items were set down you reached out and quickly answered your phone without even really checking the caller ID. 

“Hello?”

“I’m almost there, where are you?” Shaw asked on the other end. 

“I’m sitting under one of the trees, just walk around I’ll wave when I see you” 

Shaw sighed on the other end. “You can’t just find me?” 

“Nope! You have to find me. I’m not moving.” Shaw dramatically sighed. “Just come find me. Trust me it’ll be worth it.” 

“Alright,” Shaw said. “I’ll find you, I can see the park now. Be ready.” He hung up the phone just a moment after that. 

Your eyes swept around the park looking for him. You looked for that familiar lavender hair or that patented leather jacket he seemed so very fond of. Still, it was hard to see through all the crowds of people, the way they crowded up the paths and sidewalks and made it even harder to see anyone specific. 

Once you saw that lavender hair sticking out of the crowd your hand was raised in the air, waving wildly to try and grab his attention, and as some of the people thinned out you could clearly see Shaw walking down the sidewalk, his eyes also looking around the park to try and find you. 

After waving your hands for a few more moments, Shaw's eyes met yours, a spark of recognition crossing his face, and then, his facial expression slowly changing as he noticed where you were sitting, and the assortment of food that you had put around yourself. All for him. 

He stopped just a few steps away from you, you could tell that he was trying to hide his exact facial expression. Trying to hide it with his classic cool and unbothered face, but his eyes didn't lie, and the way they seemed to be sparkling. 

"What's this?" Shaw asked as he looked down at the set up. You smiled and motioned to the blanket you had spread out on the ground. 

"Happy birthday Shaw." You said, his eyes looked like they were glowing. His pupils wide as he took it all in. His mouth was slightly open, like he couldn't quite believe what it was that he was seeing in front of him. "What are you doing just standing there! Come on, sit down." 

After a half a moment of him staring he sat down on the other end of the blanket. He still wasn't saying much, almost uncharacteristically quiet. 

"What do you think? I tried to make some things I know you like. It's no hotpot but I couldn't quite figure out how we could do hotpot in the park, but since the weather is so nice I figured that a picnic would be nice!" 

Shaw looked at you, and in the moment that he was staring at you it was like an instant change. He cleared his throat and let his usual cool and collected expression return to his face, looking cool, calm, and collected like he had been expecting this the whole entire time. 

“It doesn’t look too bad.” He finally said. You smiled at him, a comment like that from Shaw was quite the compliment. “You did all this?”

You nodded. “Yeah I made all this last night and this morning.” You handed him a can of coke and a can of pepsi, his two favorites. “Consider this a double celebration, we’re celebrating your birthday and you finishing your finals.” Shaw looked up and down at the picnic food on the blanket and you sitting on the other end of the blanket. 

Shaw’s usual smirk reappeared on his face as he popped the tab open on the can of coke, taking a long sip. “I suppose I can admit you made an okay show of pretending to forget today.” 

“I would never forget!” You said, “I’ve had the date written down on my calendar ever since I found out when your birthday was.” 

Shaw’s face was unreadable, he hid his expression by sipping on his soda. Trying to keep his face away from you, as if by looking at you it would reveal something he wasn’t ready for you to see yet. 

Maybe you would have asked if he was okay, or try to say something to make him face you again. But before you could do anything about that thought your attention was broken by the raindrops that fell right on top of your head. 

The rain started to fall faster, dark rain clouds overtaking the whole no-longer blue sky. You looked up at the sky, as the raindrops started falling faster and harder. Within seconds it was pouring down rain on the once warm soil. 

It seemed to take Shaw a bit longer to notice the rain that was soaking his hair and clothes. Once he noticed his eyes went upwards to look up at the now darkened sky. 

Although he didn't say it, and neither did you, you had a very good feeling that you knew what had caused this sudden rainstorm. 

Looking around the park, the once happy families and couples were packing up their things, running for shelter or to their cars, no one seemingly prepared for any kind of sudden rain. Even you, who should have prepared for this possibility, hadn't even considered the idea that it could rain. Especially with the person you were with. 

"Shit, the food!" You quickly tried to repackage and rewrap the food you'd brought, trying to keep it from getting wetter and ruined. 

"It's just a little rain" Shaw said looking up at the sky, he must have known the rain's origin. There's no way that he couldn't have known what caused this. 

“I would say it’s a little more than a little rain!” You tried to shove them back into the basket. "Also I don't want all this food getting wet and soggy." You pushed back some of your wet hair as the raindrops ran down your face and neck. 

Quickly you put all the food back into the basket, and motioned for Shaw to stand up, the blanket below you was already soaked, and the mud started to stick to the other side. You bit your lip and you tried to fold it up the best you could. 

“Did you bring an umbrella?” You asked him, Shaw shook his head. 

“Didn’t think it would rain.” You glared at him. “What?”

“You don’t just keep one on you in case of sudden rain? That seems to happen a lot around you.” You hugged yourself to try and keep warm as the rain soaked your clothes. 

“I didn’t think I’d need it.” Shaw said. “Besides, it’s June.” You resisted the urge to remind him that not only does it rain in June but the time of year doesn’t seem to matter when you have an Evolver who makes it rain whenever he’s in a good mood. 

Trying to hide from the rain under the tree you held the picnic basket close. “How about we go back to my place, we can eat there.” Shaw picked up your other bag, the one with his present hidden in it, biting your tongue you tried not to make clear that you didn’t want him seeing the contents just yet. But he didn’t try to look. 

“Here.” Shaw shedded his jacket and handed it over to you. You took the jacket, wrapping it around your shoulders, the arms a little too long and the jacket not quite fitting, but it was comfortable, and you could feel the lingering warmth from his body heat on it. 

“I’ll follow your lead.” Shaw said casually, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

Looking out to the rest of the now deserted park you mentally mapped the quickest way home, the two of you would be soaked, no doubt, but at least you could get back. 

Together you took off into the rain, trying to walk beneath any kind of cover you both could find on the way back. You held Shaw’s jacket close, as you did the scent of peppermint and light cologne was easy to pick up, an almost comforting smell. 

Throwing open the door to your apartment building you both breathed a sigh of relief when you were out of the rain, so filled with relief it took a few moments to realize something wasn’t right. 

“Someone turned off the lights.” You commented looking at the dark lobby. Shaw punched the up button on the elevator, to no avail. No elevator sounds, no lighting up on the button. 

“The power’s out.” He said, pushing wet hair out of his eyes. “Probably the heavy rain.” 

You withheld the groan growing in your throat. “Seriously?” You tried the elevator button 

yourself, with no better result. 

Shaw didn't seem nearly as bothered as you did, or at least he pretended like he wasn't bothered. He looked to the door leading to the stairs up. 

"Come on. I won’t carry you up the stairs." Shaw said, pushing open the door. 

You followed up, slowly trudging up the long stairwell, your socks squelching uncomfortably in your shoes. Your hair dripping with the rain, Shaw's jacket being the only thing giving you the smallest bit of comfort at the moment. 

The two of you eventually made it up to your floor, and down your hallway to your door. You couldn't waste any time with sticking in your key and getting through the door. 

Your apartment was dark, just like the lobby, no lights on, not even the stove or oven. The apartment was completely dark beyond the small amount of light coming in through the window, and completely silent without the hum of the fridge or your computer. 

You set the picnic basket down on the table, rushing to the bathroom to grab towels. Grabbing the biggest towels you had in your cupboard. Tossing one to Shaw and using your own to dry your face and hair first. 

"I'm gonna change clothes." You told him. Then looked him up and down. “I’d offer you some of mine but I’m not sure they’ll fit.”  You racked your brain, there must be something you could offer him. “I could ask my neighbor, he’s a little shorter than you but maybe-” 

Shaw shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“But-”

“I’m not that wet.” Shaw said as he dried off his hair, the lavender strands still damp when he pulled the towel away. Shaw looked you up and down, that mischievous look reappearing in his gaze “You on the other hand-” He said with that tone that could have suggested anything. 

“Shaw!” You said as your cheeks flushed red. His smirk intensified at your flustered face, and you did your best to reel it in. After all that was the reaction he was hoping for. You huffed and pulled out a set of clean clothes from your closet. 

You left him in the living room while you changed clothes, drying your hair further in the darkness of the bathroom. You probably should have predicted a result like this, but it was too late to go back now. 

In dry clothes and sufficiently put back together you ventured back into the living room. Shaw stood with his shirt in his hands as he set it on your clothes drying rack in the corner of your apartment. 

Although his back was turned to you, you quickly averted your gaze from him as the flush returned to your face. You kept your eyes on the ground as you put away your other damp clothes to be washed and dried once the power was back.

“Oi.” Shaw said, You kept yourself from looking directly at him. “Why are you staring at the floor like that? Did you break your neck putting on a shirt?” Your face turned an even brighter red color as he spoke. 

“I-” You turned your head away. “I’m just thinking.” You tried to steer the conversation in a different direction. Maybe so he wouldn’t try and pull an even more embarrassed reaction out of you. 

Shaw’s slit brow raised up, his classic playful expression returning in full force. “What could you possibly be thinking about?” He said, walking towards you. Still feeling too flustered to look at him, you grabbed the throw blanket from the couch and tossed it at him. 

“You’re probably cold right? There’s no heating right now so you must be freezing.” Your words came out faster and maybe a little more jumped than you’d typically like. Watching him out of the corner of your eye he unfolded the blanket and placed it over his bare shoulders, relieving a little bit of your embarrassment. 

The picnic basket still left on the table caught your eyes once you felt calm again. The basket was still a bit wet, raindrops clinging to the top and sides of the basket. The bag with Shaw’s present is also just as damp. Glancing from the picnic basket to the blanket around Shaw’s shoulders, an idea formed in your head. 

“What’s going on in your head?” Shaw asked, poking your arm playfully. 

You smiled and looked at him. “The rain ruined my original plan but, I think I know what we can do to still celebrate.” You picked up one of the other throw blankets on the couch, and unfolded it and spread it on the living room floor. 

Shaw caught onto your plan pretty quickly, you handed him the picnic basket and pointed to the blanket. “You get this all set up, I’m going to go and find some candles so we can have a little bit of light.” 

You arranged your candles and flashlights around the blanket so there was at least some light overlooking your picnic food, even if some of the items had become slightly soggy from the rain. 

“Nice atmosphere.” Shaw joked. 

You rolled your eyes at him. “We can always eat in the dark.” 

“Nah.” Shaw said as he took a bite of the sandwich you’d made. “The dark is for other things.” He gave you a suggestive look as he said that, making your face turn red again. 

“Don’t be gross!” 

Shaw’s suggestive smirk only intensified. “I saw how embarrassed you were when you came out here. I know what I look like. You can-”

“Shaw stop it!” You said louder, trying to hide your flustered expression in the shadows left by the candles and flashlights. “I don’t care if it’s your birthday, I will make you go back out in the rain.” 

Shaw’s expression changed, but you still saw that mischievous spark, although that was just a regular feature of Shaw’s face. “You sure do get embarrassed easily.” He said as he took another bite. You ignored his comment, not interested in humoring his dirty mind further. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t have other plans today.” You said, looking up at Shaw. “I figured you’d go to Live House or hang out with the band.” 

Shaw shrugged. “Birthdays aren’t that big of a deal.” He said, sipping on the new can of cola you’d gotten him. “Besides, I knew you had something planned.” 

“Wait, how did you know?” 

“You’re not very good at surprises.” Shaw set the can of cola down as he picked at the side dishes. “I will give you one thing though, I wasn’t expecting this.” 

A smile broke across your face. “Do you like it?” 

Shaw looked back up at you. “It’s alright, you didn’t do too bad.” 

“Well,” you sat up straighter and leaned for the closed bakery box you’d set next to the picnic basket. “I still have a few surprises left in me.” You set the bakery box between you. Shaw’s expression changed as you opened up the top. Revealing the birthday cake you’d gotten for him. A simple cake frosted in blue with a dorky looking shark frosted onto the top, Happy Birthday Shaw! Written in black frosting below it. 

Shaw’s face shifted through a variety of emotions in a few seconds, at first confusion, surprise, and then he started laughing. Covering his mouth as he laughed. 

“What is that?” Shaw said between laughter. “It looks so childish.” 

You huffed, “It’s what the bakery had! And I figured you wouldn’t want a boring cake!”

Shaw managed to get his laughter under control as he looked at the cake again. “Let’s hope it tastes good for your sake.” He said, handing him a fork you both dug into the cake, not even bothering to slice it. 

The cake was sweet, and thankfully unaffected by the rainstorm, the cake flavor was fairly basic but the sweetness was enough to make it good. Shaw also seemed pleased with the flavor, taking bite after bite of the cake without complaint. 

Once the two of you had pretty much eaten the entire frosted shark you both considered that more than enough cake for the two of you. Now, it was time for your final surprise. 

Shaw was still focused on the cake when you pulled out the two gift wrapped packages, holding them out for him. 

“Your final surprise of the day, I promise.” 

Shaw took the two boxes, setting one down and unwrapping the other. You watched him intently as he ripped away the wrapping paper. 

A slight surprised noise came from Shaw as he looked at his gift. “A children’s fossil dig kit?” He held the box in his hands, the front showing two children digging in the play sand for plastic fossils. He gave you a bizarre look. 

“I thought it’d be fun! Little field work practice.” 

“It’s for children.” Shaw said. “Do I look like a child?” 

You reached for the toy. “If you don’t want it I’ll just return it then-”

Shaw pulled the box away. “Nuh uh, you don’t get to take a gift back. This is mine.” Shaw set the box down beside him, out of your grasp. You settled back where you sat, even if he wouldn’t say it, you knew he did like the gift. He picked up the second item, much smaller than the first, barely bigger than a stack of envelopes. 

Tearing the wrapping paper away, once again he seemed a bit confused by the gift in his hands. A stack of notecards, hole punched and held together by a binder ring. Each one with slightly different writing on it. 

“This is?” Shaw asked you, giving you a look. 

“It’s a coupon book, for my time and for favors. If you want to drag me along to a concert or an antique fair, you can use those, and I can’t say no.” 

“And I can use these for any kind of favor?” 

You nodded. “Yep! Anything at all.” 

Shaw looked back at the coupon book and then at you. A particular look in his eye. As he looked at you, you watched as the blanket that had been around his shoulders started to fall. 

Opening the binder ring he handed you one of the notecard coupons. “I’m using one right now, my first request.” Shaw scooted closer to you, so close you could feel the body heat radiating from his bare torso. “I want you to spend every one of my birthdays with me.” 

“Every single one?”

Shaw nodded. “Every single one.” Your eyes were locked together, your wide eyes against his slightly troublesome gaze. Still you weren’t worried about what was going on in his head. Beyond that troublesome gaze, there was also the softness in his face, the way he looked perfectly calm, and perfectly happy. “I think I have another idea for a coupon to use right now.” 

Smiling gently at him, you reached out to hold his hand, not breaking eye contact for a second. 

“I think I’ll let this one be a freebie.” 

Shaw leaned closer, until your foreheads were practically pressed together. 

“Perfect.” He whispered, closing the small gap between you. His soft lips pressed against yours he pulled away just a centimeter after one long kiss.

“This, I think, is the best gift I’ve gotten all day.”

[moonlit-manifesto]

Heartbreak Red Takeover 2021

Heartbreak Red’s “Delayed April Fools” 2021! This year the Heartbreak Red twitter Q&A session happened on April 3 instead of April 1. (Probably because Tsukino Productions dropped that huge 20 minute April Fools video instead lol). Heartbreak Red answers people’s tweets that have the hashtag #失恋ポスト (#heartbreak post) and are categorized as Advice, Message, Request, and Other.

Sometimes other characters from Tsukiuta or Tsukipro make an appearance too! Reminder that Heartbreak Red is Arata’s alter ego, so he’ll never refer to himself as Arata when he’s in character as Red. Since there are so many tweets, I’ll only be translating the interesting or funny ones. Read below the cut!

[MESSAGE] Heartbreak Red-san, it’s been a while! The weather was nice today so I went to an event at the Tobu zoo!! The cherry blossoms were beautiful too, and I had fun *sparkle sparkle*. I made some great memories. Thanks so much  ( ´ ` *) 

Heartbreak Red: “Whoa, thanks! Cherry blossoms, aaaaah I want to go see them too!”

------------

[REQUEST] I love Arata-kun and Aoi-kun as the childhood friend pair, so can you each tell us something that you did recently?!!

Heartbreak Red: “Eh~ Well, I’m not Uduki-san so here’s Aoi-kun!”

Aoi: “My childhood friend is too busy having fun playing a superhero right now (lol). Recently, Haru-san was telling me about that kaiju film he made [for April Fool’s Day].”

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[ADVICE] I’ve been wanting to feel some springtime refreshment as a break to my daily work grind. Eichi-kun, what kinds of things remind you of spring? I’d like your advice!

Heartbreak Red: “Eichi-saaaaaaan~~!”

Eichi (from QUELL): “Hello! I like cherry blossom viewing, but since we can’t gather this year I’ve been taking a lot of walks by the riverbank where they’re in bloom ♪ “

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[ADVICE] Hello! Right now I’m holding down two jobs and it’s hard to take days off... Please give me some encouraging cheers!

Heartbreak Red: “The force that keeps the economy going is: you----!!!! You’re a force to be reckoned with----!!!! Amazing---!!! But be sure not to overwork yourself, okay?”

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[ADVICE] I’m in love with Okui Tsubasa-kun from SolidS and I have a broken heart. But Tsubasa-kun is so cool, I can’t help but be in love again. What should I do? P.S. I look forward to this day every year, Heartbreak Red.

Heartbreak Red: “Gah~! Hmph!”

Tsubasa (from SolidS): “Hey, what was that, just call for me lololol. Anyways, to the you who is beyond my reach: we may be apart, but I will always love you. I put a lot of feeling into my songs, be sure to listen to them a lot ♪ xoxo”

Heartbreak Red: “As expected from Tsukipro’s best reader of women’s hearts...!! And thank you for supporting my activities!”

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[REQUEST] Yoru-kun! Tell us what you’re making for dinner today.

Heartbreak Red: “Yorurun~! What’s on the menu tonight~!?”

Yoru: “We’re having mapo tofu!!! Sorry it’s not anything super exciting to talk about!!!”

-----------

[REQUEST] Please call Kisaragi Koi over (｡>_<｡)♡

Heartbreak Red: “Pink.”

Koi: “What’s with the lack of enthusiasm!? Anyways - hi there!  ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و I’m Koi-kun!! Thanks for calling for me! I hope you have a fun weekend!!”

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[MESSAGE] I really like Issei-kun and Ichiru-kun’s costumes from the Sweets Kingdom theme...!

Heartbreak Red: “Same~ It’s a double whammy of beauty and coolness.”

Issei (from QUELL): “Thank you so much!”

Ichiru (from QUELL): “I didn’t think the frills suited me, but when I heard everyone’s compliments I started to think they weren’t so bad (haha). Thanks!”

------------

[OTHER] That April Fools video was funny! By the way, how did Haru-san come up with the idea in the first place......?

Heartbreak Red: “The day after he slept a lot he proposed the idea for the video with a refreshed look on his face.”

Haru: “Yeah, I had slept well-!”

Kakeru: “It’s a given you'd ask about Haru-san’s peculiar sense of movie direction.”

------------

[MESSAGE] Whenever I’m feeling anxious or sad and I listen to Growth’s music, it always turns my mood around. I love the music that Mamoru composes and Growth puts out!!

Mamoru (from Growth): “On behalf of Growth, thank you very much! These feelings are like nourishment for the pachira of my soul!”

Heartbreak Red: “We’re looking forward to more amazing music!”

------------

[REQUEST] I’m not feeling confident in myself, and I’m worried about my future. I’d like to hear some words from Shun-sama so that I can live with my head held high!!

Shun: “Be proud that you were able to catch my eye with your request. Someone that is proud no matter their appearance, upbringing, or place is strong and beautiful.”

------------

[REQUEST] I’m worried about entering high school. I want to be encouraged by youthful SOARA!

Heartbreak Red: “Hey! SOARA!”

Sora (from SOARA): “Okay everyone, let’s go! Bursting~!!”

SOARA: “Youth!!!”

Morihito (from SOARA): “Be sure to make a lot of memories in high school!”

Heartbreak Red: “So refreshing!!”

------------

[ADVICE] Good evening, Red-san~ I’m a third year student at an overseas college. I study Japanese for six hours each day in addition to studying for my actual major, but I don’t think it’s a very efficient way to learn Japanese. I’d like to ask the two Six Gravity seniors if they know of a more effective study method.

Heartbreak Red: “Come on out, you two!”

Haru: “Six hours is a lot! Japanese seems like a difficult language to learn, but it makes me happy seeing you put so much passion info it♪"

Hajime: "I think you should study while having fun and use media you're interested in to help learn. Why not try watching movies with Japanese subtitles or reading manga as a study method? It will hold your interest and allow you to take a breather from regular studying."

Heartbreak Red: "Good luck with your studies!"

------------

[MESSAGE] Shou-san, every time I see you, your hair looks so fluffy! Do you have a shampoo recommendation?

Shou (from ROCK DOWN): "Thanks for your kind words. The shampoo I use is... whatever Haruto picked out... What was it called again...?"

Heartbreak Red: "Are all the white-haired people like this???"

------------

[ADVICE] I love Sakuraba Ryota-kun too much~ Help me, Heartbreak Red and Pool of Blood Red!! [Pool of Blood Red is Ryota's red alter ego] Ryota (from Growth): "I don't know anything about pools of blood, but if you're mind's made up about submitting your entire being to that deep sea I wouldn't mind."

Heartbreak Red: "So aloof, Pool of Blood R-"

Ryota: "That's not me!!!!"

------------

[OTHER] Good evening, Heartbreak Red-san! I've been waiting for this year's April Fool's Day! I noticed a lot of Uduki-san's visuals last year had his tongue showing, so I was wondering if this trend will continue? If Red-san were to do that too, it would be super cute~ Looking forward to supporting you in the future.

Heartbreak Red: "(´ڡ`)＜So you like me like this, do you?"

--

Heartbreak Red: "Ah, I'm not Uduki-san though."

You: "This is confusing."

------------

[REQUEST] Heartbreak Red-san! I want to ask what Dai-chan's favorite dessert he's had recently is!

Heartbreak Red: "Dai-chan-san!"

Dai (from SolidS): "Recently... Shiki brought back some souvenir snacks. It had cream cheese in it and since then I've been addicted to them. So those are probably my recent favorite."

------------

[OTHER] Roa-kun! Rei-kun! Let's have a remote flower viewing drinking party together!

Roa (from Infinit0): "Do you have any drinks on hand?"

Rei (from Infinit0): "While looking at the cherry blossoms..."

Heartbreak Red: "Cheers!"

------------

[REQUEST] I'm finally a college student~! Registering for classes is so difficult, but I'll try to fit in all my credits! I'd like to hear some encouragement from people who've already survived college!

Survivor Shiki (from SolidS): "College life aged me."

Heartbreak Red: "Please say something more supportive lololol."

Shiki: "The possibilities are endless. Make sure to enjoy the experience."

------------

[REQUEST] Good evening, Gaku-san! What's something that made you happy recently?

Gaku (from ROCK DOWN): "I went into this random restaurant on a whim yesterday and the pasta was really good... (beams). And the cherry blossoms I saw around town were pretty. It's those little things that I enjoy~♪"

Heartbreak Red: "Now I'm hungry..."

------------

[MESSAGE] To Hokekyo-kun: Thanks for healing me all the time with your cuteness! I love you! - From A Hokekyo-kun Fan

Heartbreak Red: "What an amazing fan mail!!"

Hokekyo (Haru's pet bird): "Ho~~~~Hokekyo!!!" [the bird is named after the sound it makes]

Haru: "That chirp was more perky than usual♪"

Hokekyo: "Hoo~ ❤️"

------------

(@tsukiuta1)

[wallwriterstuff]

Teeth || Demetri Volturi x Reader ||

A request from @volturidoll13 that is continued from this headcanon right here ——-> Demetri Reacting to a Stimming Reader <——-. I hope I’ve done you justice once more with this one chickadee :D </b>

Part 2: This fic

Part 3: Control (fic)

Warnings: TW for anxiety. Readers stimming will stem from anxiety, if you are having a rough time with yours right now be careful reading this one, and please know you’re not alone! I guess maybe a warning for biting to? There’s some biting going on.

Words: 2620

Summary: It’s been a little over two months since Demetri discovered your stimming. He’s remained vigilant ever since, keeping your anxiety at bay with a whole host of tips and tricks he’s learned over the course of your time together. The one thing he cannot stop is the march of time, and yours is running out fast…

You weren’t sure what had made you so nervous back then, why Demetri finding about your autism was such a big deal, why you were so afraid your stimming would be an issue between you both, that your anxiety and it’s side effects would somehow ruin his perception of you. In reality, telling Demetri the whole truth had been the best thing you had ever done. His sensitivity was astounding to you, because he really was diligent in checking in with you and keeping things as calm as possible in your now shared room – your baths had become a now weekly occurrence. He never treated you like you were made of porcelain either despite all his little interventions, no, he whole-heartedly encouraged your every attempt to explore and integrate yourself into the Volturi with your new found confidence, but when you needed the support he was always prepared.

Your newfound confidence came with a price.

After just a week of venturing out of your shared room you had been called to the throne room, a terrifying moment in itself given you had met them only once before to explain why you hadn’t been bleeding out with the rest of your tour group on the floor, and Aro had taken your hand with a sickly smile before joyfully exclaiming something in Italian you had had no idea how to go about translating. That was two months ago, and now you had only a single month left to live before you joined them in their immortality, perpetually frozen as you were, never moving forward, never evolving. The concept was terrifying given the stories you’d heard of newborns. You didn’t want to hurt people or be that volatile little newborn who became violent on a whim. You didn’t want to feel the inferno in your throat begging you to commit unspeakable acts of cruelty against a race you were currently still apart of.

A month left of mortality.

A month left before you became someone entirely new.

Felix’s sudden grunt snapped you out of that particular reverie, and you blinked at the bright sunlight invading your eyes despite the shade you had situated yourself in under a twisted old red maple, planted in Didyme’s honour oh so long ago and still going strong thanks to Aro’s tender loving care. They had chosen to sit beneath the branches simply because it made their skin sparkle less, which was far easier on your eyes and far less distracting since you had a tendency to try and rub off Demetri’s sparkles, like they were glitter on his skin you could just remove. Jane was smiling at your giant friend, whose teeth were clenched tight before he suddenly relaxed and shot her a glare.

“Now now children play nicely.” Demetri chided from beside you. He’d been sat a while, smoothly redirecting conversation from you when he saw your attention falter. You had been zoning in and out a lot the past few days, your mind clearly elsewhere. He’d kept half an eye on you as the twins debated a book they’d been reading the past week, Felix teasing them as was his usual manner until Jane caved to the temptation to cripple him with her trademarked glare. You clearly were not okay, but you hadn’t come to him to say as such just yet, so he’d not pressured you into talking. Perhaps after this afternoon he should? You usually jumped at any chance you got to spend time with them all, enjoying the social interaction after the long days you spent either studying Italian or with them absent performing duties you would soon help them undertake.

“What do you think Y/N? You said you’d read The Hunger Games before, what do you think of the idea that the death of Primrose is symbolic of the death of the last of Katniss’s innocence?” Alec questioned. The boy was equally as perceptive as Demetri, having found himself insatiably curious since the day Demetri had quietly spoken with them about it to ensure they didn’t harass you, and consequently had gone on to read everything he could get his hands on about your condition. It was painfully obvious to all of them your head wasn’t in the conversation but none of them brought it up, instead finding ways to lead you seamlessly back into the group when you wandered off. Your brows furrowed as you tried to think over Alec’s question, but your mind was pulled in too many directions at once. You were so focused on the dark thoughts swirling around your future immortality that your mind struggled to conjure the image of the book cover, never mind its contents.

“Erm…I don’t really…she lost it way before that.” You stumbled your way through the answer and it was audible to everyone there the way your teeth clanked together when your jaw clenched. You did your best not to flinch as Demetri cast you a concerned glance. You’d been doing that a lot, your teeth gnashing and grinding as you clenched your jaw over and over. It was a tic he had seen before, though not quite as frequently as this, and it set alarm bells ringing in his head as a thousand articles and memories hit him full force. Alec hummed, not looking entirely like he agreed with you while Jane grinned, triumph in her eyes.

“Ha! See brother, I told you!” she didn’t seemingly notice the way you flinched, teeth gnashing audibly once more at her exclamation. Alec’s face was immediately taken over by a scowl, and the pair were bickering once more while Felix watched on with obvious amusement. Demetri had given you his sole attention instead, tuning out their argument to instead take notice of the way the muscles in your jaw moved, your gaze distant and entirely unfocused as you lost yourself to your thoughts again. He didn’t actually think you were aware of the way your hand moved until he gently snatched it mid-air. You blinked, staring uncomprehendingly at the frozen fingers clasped around your wrist, centimetres from your open mouth that you quickly snapped closed. Demetri made no comment after that, sliding his hand up to intertwine your fingers together and squeeze your palm lightly.

You squeezed back with a weak smile, mentally already berating yourself for your behaviour. You hadn’t even noticed you were about to bite yourself but now you had you could feel the way your jaw ached, the entire lower part of your jaw tense from the amount your stimming had overworked it that afternoon. Demetri soothingly ran his thumb in circles over your knuckles but even his cool touch wasn’t enough to drag you from your misery today. You had less than a month to live and there was so much you wouldn’t get to do after that. You had always wanted to travel to try some of your favourite foods in their home contexts – you could only imagine how good authentic Chinese food would taste. You wanted to sleep in a five-star hotel just to see what a memory foam mattress might do to improve your sleep.

It was all trivial stuff (you were painfully aware since Caius had told you so when you’d brought it up) but they were simple things for your bucket list, you dared not even consider the big dreams you had because they would be impossible once you were-

“Ah ah ah.” Demetri caught your hand again. He still held one in his grip but the other had whipped up to make it’s way into your mouth. You completely disregarded his warning, a burning need inside of you driving your head forward in an effort to clamp your teeth around your finger, sure in the knowledge it would bring some relief if you could manage it. Demetri didn’t let you, and your head quickly turned for his hand instead. He didn’t comment when your teeth almost broke trying to break through his skin. You immediately recoiled, both horrified and mortified at what you had done, but despite the fact you wouldn’t meet his eyes, Demetri pulled you close to his chest and kissed the top of your head.

“I’m sorry, I-“

“What have I told you about apologising to me about this?” he tutted, lifting your chin with one of his index fingers. He quickly had to let go when your hand flashed up to your mouth again, desperate to chew down on something.

“To stop apologising. Sor-er…I…” you cringed, the apology ready to fall from your lips but your fear of disappointing him latching it’s claws into you and making you bite down on your tongue instead.

“You never need to apologise to me for this my love, I love every part of you, even the parts of you you struggle to love yourself.” Demetri assured you quietly. Your teeth began to grind once more because what if he didn’t see you that same way after your change? What if your crimson eyes and still heart were abhorrent to him since he revered your human-self so much?

“Can we go?” you mumbled, your head spinning with all the worrisome thoughts tumbling about it. Demetri searched your face briefly as he nodded, very well aware that this wasn’t something he could encourage you to keep fighting and you needed to tap out now and recover.

“Of course. Excuse us you three.” He glanced to them briefly, knowing they’d have heard your quiet conversation anyway so to lie would be pointless. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at them, too embarrassed by your stimming today to meet their eyes. You’d bitten your vampire mate in front of them, after all.

“Thank you.” You mumbled, keeping your head down as you walked along beside him. Demetri hadn’t let go of one of your hands, squeezing gently every now and then to try and encourage you to channel your anxiety into your hand instead of your mouth. Perhaps he ought to buy you a stressball? You’d liked the last one, though it had disappeared somewhere around the castle and sadly, his gift only worked on people and not tracking down inanimate objects.  

“Don’t thank me yet, might I give you some advice?” he enquired. You looked up at him, your expression inviting him warily to speak, though you weren’t sure what he could add since this was your lived experience, and one he had only read about. “As you go to bite down open your mouth a fraction wider, it will allow you to clamp your teeth into a wider surface area and hold your prey stiller.” He advised, half a smirk dancing on his lips. He was failing abysmally at trying to hide it.

“I – excuse me?” you were somewhat astonished he’d given you advice on how to bite yourself better. What happened to your caring mate? The one who did his best to help you calm your anxiety. The one who held your hand on nights it felt like you couldn’t breathe?

“I thought it would be sound advice,” he said, giving up on his efforts now to fight back his smirk, “As my little vampire in training, you need to know how to bite down properly. If I had been your prey just now I would have easily escaped, and you would be left hungry.” You stopped stock still, eyes bugging a bit in your head as your brain just…stopped working.

“What…did you just call me?” you asked. Demetri had walked on ahead as if nothing was wrong, but he paused to turn back towards you now with a shit-eating grin on his face, crimson eyes sparkling.

“My little vampire in training. Unless of course, you would prefer puppy? They chew on things to, no?” he tilted his head at you while your jaw dropped. Just for a brief moment there was clarity in your head, the sheer absurdity of his comment punching through all your anxious thoughts. You felt you should be insulted, was it an insult? Coming from someone other than Demetri maybe it would be but this was the man who listened to every little thought in your head, wiped away every tear and held you while you cried. No, Demetri could never do you harm, whether it was with words or fists he was bound to protect you always, he was incapable of insulting you meaningfully.

“Your little – Demetri!” you scolded. God did your jaw ache. He chuckled.

“Alright alright forgive me…though can I say, I feared your bite far more than Felix’s.” he held out his hand to you and you automatically sidled up to slip your palm against his, Demetri turning you both back in the direction of your shared room before you began to walk once more.

“Felix’s has bitten you?” you asked, your curiosity sparked.

“Oh yes. You see, when I first joined the Guard Felix was assigned to my combat training. He won every round. I, however, am a quick learner, and once I began to pick up his teachings I won my first spar against him quite easily…and the one after that, and the one after that…he gets bitey when he loses.” He revealed. You bit your lip, fighting back a smile as you imagine the hulking man tossed onto his back by your own, lithe tracker. It was a funny enough sight in itself, but adding the image of him lunging with teeth barred to gnaw on your mate was even funnier. It should have been frightening but you knew the gentle giant too well to think he would ever attack his comrades with any malicious intent.

“Alec best watch his back then, he’s getting close to Felix’s high score on Crash Bandicoot.” You mused. Demetri snorted briefly.

“Yet another fun story…Alec once locked himself in his room for three whole days when Jane picked up one of his games and completed a level he’d been stuck on for weeks on her first try.” He told you. Your smile grew a little wider, stretching across your face as you imagined the calmer witch twin throwing said hissy fit. Demetri continued his stories long after you entered your room, laying on his side with you opposite him as he regaled you with one story after another. Aro had once dropped a book on his foot after a late night of studying, looked around to ensure nobody had seen, and stuffed it back on the shelf so fast he had placed it back upside down. Jane had a beautiful singing voice but had been startled so badly by Felix interrupting her once she’d slipped right up the scale on the last word and tortured poor Felix for a whole hour straight for ruining her song.

Story after story you listened, enraptured by his smooth baritone while he played with your hair, soothing your turbulent mind as you focused on his words and his words alone. You might wake up tomorrow and find you were once more trapped in the cycle of anxiety that you were hard-pressed to escape one it got you in it’s clutches, or maybe this blessed moment of relief would last and tomorrow you would be free once more for a little bit longer until the next moment something you felt was too big too manage came along. For today, Demetri had lulled you to sleep against his side, your breathing slow and even for the first time that day. Whatever you had to face next, whatever challenges might come your way, you knew on your worst days Demetri would always be with you to help you overcome them, armed with all the latest mummyblog advice for you to rebuke.

[sopeloveee]

Worthy

WARNING⚠️ Mature Themes( self harm, mentions of suicide) member: jung jaehyun (NCT) genre: really angsty, with a fluffy ending! this is actually the first in a while that I’ve written on here, so, please sorry for any mistakes or unclarity kinda just wrote this on a whim, please enjoy💚 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- {3:32pm} Jaehyun finds your razor blades and you come home looking for them.

        Jaehyun arrives at your house at 3:32 pm. He had just got finished with dance practice with the other members for the new comeback. You and Jaehyun met in Chicago in a Starbucks, as they were currently there for their tour. You had been living in Chicago for about 2 years at the time, and you had worked in Starbucks as a side job for school. He was the most attractive boy you had ever seen, and you were amazing, both blushing as he ordered for him and a couple of the other members. He walked away that day with your cell number on his receipt and his ears burning red.

        “You like her. Don’t you?” Mark asks. “Of course not.” Jaehyun responds quickly. Ears getting redder by the second.

        “You are literally lying.” Taeyong hops in. “Your ears are as red as my phone case, so cut the shit and text her when we get back to the arena.”

        You guys were 7 months into your relationship now, and you had moved to Korea for dance school and to also be closer to Jaehyun, as he couldn’t stand being across the world from you.  You’ve been living there for about 8 months now, and was settled into your nice loft that Jaehyun helped pay for. You had given Jaehyun a spare, telling him to come over whenever he felt free. Him coming over became weekly, weekly became daily so you asked him to move in with you, him lighting up at the idea and immediately saying yes. You’ve been living together for about 6 months now, and you were two years and a month into your relationship.  Everything had been going good, Jaehyun was a nice man, he always encouraged you to do your best, he was sweet, handsome; what more could you have asked for?

        Though, you had good things going for you, you had one thing that was playing a detrimental role in your life; your severe depression and anxiety. It came hereditarily, so there wasn’t anything you could quite do about it, other than therapy and medication. Some days were okay, some were manageable, and others were just downright bad. Today was one of those days, and you’d had enough. Your dance coach had berated you in front of the whole team, calling you a piece of dead weight and a waste of talent. You are a beautiful mixed girl, not too skinny but not thick either. You had a nice body, and nice soft brown skin. You’d hadn’t told Jaehyun about your depression or anxiety, or the fact that being insulted and looked down upon at your dance school was an almost daily occurrence. And when you did good, your teacher would still give you back-handed compliments or not even say anything. Your teammates were very supporting though, they always told you that you were the best and that you had a lot of talent. Your coach was just a dick.

        You, being the only brown-skinned person on your team you were often the center of attention. This caused you to become hard on yourself and you believed that it was always on you, and that you should’ve done better as one of the seniors of the team. Times like these, were times where you were at your lowest, seeking self-harm to rid you of the emotions that you had felt that day. So you settled on cutting today as your source of relaxation. You’d leave straight after practice, wanting to get home and just be in the presence of your favorite person. Some friends patted you on the back and gave you words of encouragement as they saw the frown upon your face right as you were leaving. Back at the house, Jaehyun had gotten himself comfortable, making him something to eat and sitting on the couch to watch whatever he could find on tv. After eating, he went to the bathroom to wash his hands (have you washed your hands today?) and realized that there wasn’t any paper towels left in the bathroom. So, after shaking his hands dry and wiping them on his sweatpants, he heads for the supply closet located next to your bedroom. He reaches for the paper towels on top shelf, and while reaching his large hand lands on a small box that was pushed all the way to the side close to the closet wall. He’d never known there was a box up there, what was the box here for? He was sure you had finished settling in. He thought as he pulls the box down from its hiding place. He opens the box and gasps loudly. 

        Razor Blades. Broken Pencil Sharpeners. Jaehyun can’t believe it. He cries for the first time in years. He would’ve never thought, that you, Y/N, his world, his inspiration, his soulmate, had been hurting yourself. Jaehyun knew all about self harm, as he had lost a dear friend to something so bad and saddening as suicide. He was in shock, crying loudly as his body lost balance and fell to the ground shaking. How come he had never realized what you were going through, how could he have been so oblivious? The sweatshirts, the cardigans, in 85 degree weather. He had always known your style had leaned towards the more artsy/ 90s side, be he never could have thought the reason you wore such big clothing and long sleeves were to hide any scars that you could’ve been withholding. He loved you with his whole being, why have you never told him about something like this? You never were a burden to him, you could’ve opened up to him about it. He couldn’t imagine what you were going through, everything was just running through his head so fast. He took the box and threw all of the blades out, tearing the house up to make sure you hadn’t hid any someplace else in your home. He goes to the bathroom to run water over his face, and heads towards the bedroom to wait for you there.

        Twenty minutes later he hears the front door open, and the floorboards creak as you make your way through the house. You don’t announce your entrance. You don’t call out to him, you head straight to the supply closet. Jaehyun gets up and heads towards you, watching as you take out the step stool and climb to the top. Only to find nothing there, he watches with sad eyes as you frown. You don’t even notice him there, to wrapped in your mind to even think that his sorrowful eyes are watching you. Tears escape his eyes and it’s only until he speaks that you realize he’s there.

        “ I threw them out.” He says quietly. You flinch harshly at the sound of his deep voice. You turn to him slowly, you heart in your throat, and yours hands tucked anxiously between the sleeves of Jaehyun’s sweater you wore to practice. “ Baby.” He says, choking on his tears. You’re shocked to say the least. You’ve never seen Jaehyun cry, and you would have never though that this would be the reason. You close your eyes feeling guilty, letting your reserve down and letting the tears slip down your plump cheeks rapidly.

        He walks over the step stool and lifts you off of it, hugging you tightly and crying his eyes out. “ Why have you never told me? I could’ve helped you, I could’ve-“ You cry harder, everything coming up and out of you. You thrash against his frame, yelling and screaming. “ I love you Y/N, I’m always here, just let it all out.” Jaehyun regathers himself, as to stay strong and be your rock in this moment. You cry for about 15 minutes straight, hiccuping and talking about how you’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety since your early teens. You tell him about dance, you tell him about all the things that you’ve been through, and he listens. He listens intensively as your spill your heart to him, finally relaxed at the fact you can tell him everything. When you finish, he picks you up from the floor, as you both slipped to the ground in each other’s embrace while crying. He brings you to the kitchen, and sets you atop the island looking at you directly into your eyes and softly smiling.

        “Thank you for telling me. I love you more now that I know how strong, beautiful, and amazing you are. These scars? They’re in the past, you are the most driven, talented person I know. I want you to come to me with every problem you have, and we’ll fix it together. You never go through stuff alone anymore, I’m always here. I love you so much, and I want you to know that you don’t have to feel like a burden, or a distraction. You are the most important person in my life. You come first, remember that. Can you do that for me?” He sheds a few tears watching as your head hangs low, and he raises your gaze and makes you look at him. “ Can you do that for me Y/N?” You nod quietly, and smile softly. “ I need to hear you say it princess. I know that stopping can be tough, so if you ever feel the urge please tell me, I’ll get you food, make you laugh, hell, I’ll kick the shit out of Taeyong if it’s what it takes to take your mind away from you hurting yourself. Do this for me, I cannot lose you-” He chokes. “ You won’t Jaehyun. I promise.” You both pause and revel in each other’s presence. You feel thankful that you're him with him right now, in this moment. You take some time to get yourself together as best s possible, and you play at the back of his head with the strands of his hair nervously, as he rubs his hands up and down your legs gently. “You can look if you want.” You say shakily. He takes your hands softly as if he could break you, and rolls up the sleeves of his sweatshirt. He looks at the lines with broken-hearted eyes, his fingers shaking as he runs his hand along the scabs and bubbles on your wrists and forearms. 

        “ Oh princess.” He says, kissing your scars and cuts, and letting his tears run down your arm.  

         Jaehyun is fully crying again, wrapping his strong arms around your stomach and placing his head on your heart. “ I’ll stay strong for you. I promise. I love you so much.” You say tearfully. He looks up and smiles as tears slip from his crescent eyes. You wipe his tears, and he wipes yours, and he picks you up from the counter and spins you around making you laugh loudly. “ You are so strong. You know that?” You nod, blushing. “ I’m truly so happy that you told me everything. It means a lot to me that you are allowing me to help you recover. I love you so much.”

        “ I love you too Jaehyun.”

      “ Soo, burgers or pizza?”

     “ Burgers ”. You both answer together. “ Yeah burgers for sure.” you say with a smile.

        For the first time in your life, you can breathe clearly. For the first time in your life, you feel worthy. Nothing could ever stop you from living. Not with Jaehyun by your side. Not even depression or anxiety.

[lesbiradshaw]

hellooo you’re one of my fave fic writers and i was just wondering if you have any tips for getting into fic writing? how do you find the inspiration and the motivation to write so much so well & so consistently? i’ve dabbled in writing fics before but i have such a hard time avoiding perfectionism or sticking to long projects or even developing a plot past the vibe or the message i want to convey which leads me to getting too in my head about the whole fic and never being able to bring myself to finish or publish it 😭

oh this is such a nice ask ... can’t believe i’m someone’s favorite! thank youuuu. now i feel the need to preface this by saying that i have no clue what i’m doing and i don’t write seriously (as in i try my best but i’m not concerned with being Novel worthy or anything) which is what i think a lot of people need to remember when it comes to writing fic! i do know fic writers who are more serious about the writing craft and want to become real authors but personally i am not one of them. i write for fun. i write because i love the characters and want to treat them right. i write because it’s a fun little hobby and gives me a good outlet that makes me feel productive! and a lot of my favorite fics aren’t even necessarily high quality, i just like the plots and general characterization. i make like a bajillion typos in my fics i’m always reading over again after uploading to fix and people don’t tend to point them out, so i know my fics aren’t perfect but they are still enjoyable. that’s not to say i don’t hold myself to self scrutinizing standards (i am doing that even as we speak this very second) but every so often realizing that people read and write fic for fun is a good reality check. that’s how i got into it honestly ... i saw other people having a good time but also saw that there a lot were more fics i wanted to exist so i figured why should i not be the one to write them? that’s what happened with my tangled au. nothing better than doing it yourself. as for motivation, i feel like i have a kind of odd way of writing? i’m very much a “do it now or you’ll never do it later because you’ll lose interest” person but i also love procrastination. i have to set due dates and quotas and obligations for myself in order to get the wheels turning. my method right now is setting a number of words i want to write every other day (in the beginning it was 1k, now it’s 5 because i have a lot of free time) so i can move fast but still have breaks in between. that’s probably not normal but ... well. it’s what must be done for me. like i said, it makes me feel productive (and putting into perspective how many pages 1k words make up has actually helped me so much with writing academic essays 😭). inspiration/fic planning is also a fairly messy method for me but basically here’s how it goes: i get the idea and open the notes app. i jot down the general idea/message i want to convey. then i start coming up with details i want to include, like specific items mentioned, imagery, comparisons, even full lines if i like something and it sticks out enough. it doesn’t have to be a full idea either, i have a doc made up of only singular tidbit ideas that i pull into fics upon a whim where they fit if i can’t think of a full idea to revolve around it. from there, once i actually know i’m gonna write the fic, i transfer it to a google doc and start daydreaming the entire timeline of it in my head. which scenes come first, any dialogue i can think of that i want to put in, etc. it’s usually generic but sometimes i do get overly detailed for no reason. basically by the end it’s a messy map that i try to take care of in chunks as the writing process goes on so nothing i want to include gets left out. not the most clean cut process but it works for me! i’m terrified of forgetting things i want to write about so i try and write them down before they leave me. sometimes that includes 5am wakeup moments where everything i type is incoherent. i’m still deciphering what “small soft domestic momrntts loke steve waking up and being able to hear bucky using yhe radio in the garage from the bedroom.., he cant see it but he knows buvkh js singing along” means.

anyways you didn’t request an answer this long but yk i love talking! fic writing is truly a perfect outlet for me and i’ve made so many friends along the way <3 i encourage everyone to get involved in it if they want to. publishing stuff can be scary but isn’t everything we put on the internet scary at the end of the day ...

[sou-ver-2-0]

Can you do number 9 for Shin please?

9) What calms them when they are upset.

This question is aimed directly at my heart, thank you! <3 

Although, I imagine that Shin struggles a lot with relaxing. He’s a paranoid puddle of anxiety who overthinks everything and jumps to the worst conclusions. And to make things worse, Shin doesn’t feel like he has much control over his own life. Even before the Death Game, he was a job hopper living at the whims of late capitalism. He also strikes me as a lonely person who didn’t have many close friends to turn to for comfort. 

Like, I can imagine there being a kind person at the fringes of his life who might try to strike a friendly conversation with him, and Shin’s instinct would still be to push them away. We know he was close to Original Sou, who was abusive and then died, leaving Shin alone with only the scarf for comfort... It would be so hard to make friends after that kind of experience.

With that said!

Shin is a numbers guy who enjoys solving puzzles and playing with computers. If he’s feeling stressed, I’d want him to indulge in his passion for computers to keep his mind busy. He’s clever and quick-witted and I’d love for him to feel that sweet sense of validation that would come from working out tricky coding problems. I bet that would make him feel a lot better about himself!

I also think that Shin is a kind person deep down, so I can imagine him engaging in secret kind acts to people even he won’t open up to them. For example, he might busy himself by going on online forums and anonymously answering people’s computer questions. Or he may just send anonymous encouraging messages online to strangers who look upset. Or he might feel compassion for a poor customer visiting his convenience store and charge them less for the food they need, paying the difference himself without telling them. Just small things that he doesn’t expect or want any credit for, but they make him feel useful and good about himself all the same.

And of course, Shin loves soup! And futons! That’s important enough trivia that Nankidai had to list it in Shin’s interests haha. After a long shift at work, I bet there’s nothing Shin would rather do than heat up a nice can of soup, gobble it up, and then collapse on his mattress to get some well-deserved sleep. Where, at the very least, he feels safe and comfortable.

Thank you for the lovely question... Right now I’m thinking about how Shin is coding in his final moments to leave a present for Sara, so even though he was so afraid of dying, at least he was doing something he loved, and I’m sure that brought him some peace of mind.

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember 2019 Master List

Jesus. Jesus Christ, that’s a lot of writing. I don’t really consider myself a writer generally and this is definitely the first time I’ve written this much this quickly. I’m going to look at my word count soon, but- I think I may have written a novel’s length of words? Wow.Thanks to everyone who encouraged me during this or provided support/ideas: thinking of @daja-the-hypnokitten , @liminal-wanderings , @mr-ackerman , @spiralturquoise , @wellgnawed , @sex-obsessed-lesbian , and @hypno-sandwich especially here but there were lots of y’all who reblogged or made kind comments. I appreciate every one of them. :)

Here’s a catch up of everything I’ve written so far this month. In honor of @jukeboxemcsa, I’ve also included a HypnoBS rating where 1 is absolute bullshit and 5 is normal Tuesday night.

Icons- 📰- story. 🔊- audio 💻- technology 😍- romantic 🌈- queer 😴- regular ole’ hypnosis 🛀- brainwashing and/or hypnotist in a tub 👻- spooky 🐈- at least one happy pussy ❓- bad or reeeally questionable consent ✝️- author's weird religious feels that somehow kept coming up

Day 1: Base Character-F/f 📰😍🌈🛀🐈 

Choice quote: ”Or maybe it was the ship of Theseus- Janine seeing how many little pieces of her she could replace until she fundamentally just wasn’t the same person anymore.”

HypnoBS- I haven’t done this kind of play and have no first hand experience. Let’s say 3.

Newly added 11/18: @undersleeper requested some extra information on how the brainwashing was actually done in this story so I added this non-canon sequel. (I think the sequel boosts the BS score to a 4.)

Day 2: Colors- F/nb 📰😴 🌈

Choice quote: “Bri used to consider themselves a bad hypnotic subject.”

HypnoBS- 4. I haven’t done this induction specifically but love doing these kinds of overloads

Day 3: Dizzy- no gender specified🔊😴

Choice quote: “When you take deep breaths, you feel like you’re getting more oxygen, but actually the opposite is true.”

HypnoBS-5. Should get you in trance, we’re not ranking the accuracy of all the science herein.

Day 4: Sing- m/f kinda I guess? 📰👻❓

Choice quote:  “Tonight wasn’t the night to give in, he told himself. Not yet.”

HypnoBS- 1. Thank God.

Day 5: Poison- M/f 📰😍🛀🐈

Choice quote: “Lila could admit it. She was kind of a brat.But Sean? He was worse. He was a fucking troll.“

HypnoBS- 4? Haven’t done it, could probably make something in this realm work with the right person.

Day 6: Summon- F/f 📰😍😴🌈🐈

Choice quote: “Number one, there is no butch street cred. And number two- if there was such a thing, you and I both know that being seduced by a beautiful woman would only increase it.”

HypnoBS- 3 or 4. It’s quick and there would need to be a lot more talking generally. But sure.

Day 7: Underwear- F/f 📰😴🌈

Choice quote: “Under….where”, Destiny tested the word out loud. It sounded like a portmanteau of some sort. She understood the word “under” and the word “where” (or “wear”? “where are” maybe? maybe it was German?) but those two words together didn’t form much of a picture.”

HypnoBS- 5. Although have only done this as a hypnotist so I can’t speak to subject POV. This kind of thing is adorable to watch, though.

Day 8: Neighbor- F/f📰😍🌈 ❓

Choice quote: “When Jiyeon tapped her pencil, Alyssa tapped her pencil lightly to match.”

HypnoBS- 1. Maybe 1.5 since there are no monsters or demons.

Day 9: Idiotic- no gender specified📰😴

Choice quote: “Because Id-iotic. It’s literally what you want deep down”

HypnoBS-4. Not my thing but with the right people- sure.

Day 10: Smell- F/m 📰😴😍🛀🐈

Choice quote: “Belinda had also woken up from sexy dreams at night to the feeling of Ray’s head buried in her cunt.”

HypnoBS- 3 on the details. Some parts are more plausible than others. We’re outside my realm of experience here so others could probably rank more accurately.

Day 11: Broadcast- Hypnovirus/f 📰💻🛀✝️

Choice quote: “It felt important to present herself to the screen in a way that demonstrated her vulnerability and openness to instruction.”

HypnoBS- 4. Probably not likely, but I could see this kind of symbolic bleed with the right person pretty easily.

Day 12: Stage- M/m 📰😍🌈😴

Choice quote: “Brandon had not mentioned the hypnosis thing to Scott- it felt weird and personal and he had already half-convinced himself that he was being creepy in response to Scott’s platonic friendliness. He didn’t want to scare him off. He had never expected to see him here.”

HypnoBS- 5. At least as far as the hypnosis goes

Day 13: Bath- no gender specified 🔊🛀😴

Choice quote: *insert rambling about Pat Collins here*

HypnoBS- 5. But also a high general BS score. I was tired and needed to finish a thing. I am surprised but grateful people liked this one. :P

Day 14: Machine- M/f 📰😴💻😍✝️

Choice quote: “For as long as she could remember, Deidre had longed for self-annhilation.”

HypnoBS- 1. That’s not how brains work.

Day 15: Ooze- there’s a m and a f 📰😴🛀❓

Choice quote: “For example, your badge- did you know that putting all the stickers on the top of your badge like that usually means that you’re a hypnotist?”

Amy’s eyes widened a bit. “It does?”

HypnoBS- 2. Sadly.

Day 16: Wedding- something/f 📰👻❓

Choice quote: “She knew then that she was alone. No one could help her. No one could even see her.”

HypnoBS- 1.

Day 17: Gentle- a different something/f  📰 kinda 🐈❓✝️

Choice quote: “As long as she didn’t focus on it, it would write the story for her.”

HypnoBS- 1. I think. :P

Day 18: Infection- not stated/m 📰 🛀❓

Choice quote: “If he could just get the song out of his head, maybe he’d have a chance.”

HypnoBS- 2. 

Day 19: Hideout- F/f 📰  🐈 😍😴🛀🌈

Choice quote: “’Come to me, pet. Come to me.’ 

Mesmera.

 She could always sense when Galaxy Girl was weak. She consistently picked the perfect time to strike.

And now, she had found her apartment.”

HypnoBS-4.5

Day 20: Watch- no gender specified 🔊 😴

Choice quote: “Feel your thoughts just tick tick tick tick ticking gone”

HypnoBS-5

Day 21: Fighting- F/m 📰 😴

Choice quote: “His mistress loved resistance play. She delighted in watching him struggle and strain against an irresistible impulse.”

HypnoBS-5 Mmmm :)

Day 22: Mistaken- F/an entire hypnocon  📰  😴

Choice quote: “Ginger- submissive, wide-eyed, bottomy Ginger- was holding a crowd of 8 people in her hypnotic thrall. Some had their eyes closed already, while others were staring at her with the rapt look of early trance.“

HypnoBS- 4. But only because I haven't seen it yet. :P

Day 23: Heist- F/m  📰  🛀❓(😍 but it’s pretty messed up)

Choice quote: “The inside of the vault had gotten somewhat sparse-looking- David had been cleaning out the bank out at a much quicker pace recently- but there were still plenty of treasures here to bring to his mistress.”

HypnoBS- 3, maybe 2

Day 24: Business F/f 📰 😴😍🌈

Choice quote: “Summer was a well-mannered southern girl at heart. She knew that if something was none of her business, it was impolite and rude to know it. Best not to think about it too much. She didn’t want to be nosey.”

HypnoBS- 4

Day 25: Babble F/m📰 😴 🛀 (💻 kinda)

Choice quote: “You can feel your access to language lessening….and lessening. Feeling those parts of your brain losing blood, quieting, going to sleep. Imagine what that might look like on the fMRI- the color draining, darkening, going black. Your ability to use language can be almost completely gone.”

HypnoBS- 5 (Neuroscience BS- closer to 3)

Day 26: Enemy M/f 📰 😴😍🐈 

Choice quote: “When she was denied for long periods of time, everything became sexual.”

HypnoBS- 5. Unf.

Day 27: Confidence F/m 📰 😴❓

Choice quote: “Dr Eleanor had been recommended to Richard by his friend Jon who had seen her previously. “She won’t bullshit you,” he had said, “she just gets right to the roots of your issues and helps you solve them.” He must have known what he was talking about- a year after visiting Dr Eleanor, Jon had recently married a wonderful woman. He was also running marathons and succeeding professionally. There were worse people to listen to, Richard thought.”

HypnoBS- 3 (although this kind of gaslighting is real and can be effective)

Day 28: Abduction F/f M/f background m/m 📰 😴😍🌈

Choice quote: “’And so she….’ Lilliana stopped. She stared for a moment in surprise at the space between Cirie’s fingers. Cirie looked like she was holding a small, invisible ball. Liliana tried to recall her train of thought (something about work?) but found herself strangely blank.

She looked at Cirie in astonishment. 

‘You took it!’ she accused.”

HypnoBS- 5

Day 29: Doctor Doctor/Master (from Dr Who) 📰 😴🌈💻

Choice quote: “The doors in the Master’s mind all appeared to be open. The Doctor quickly scanned for malicious intent but-

Oh.

Oh my.

So that’s why.”

HypnoBS- I...uh...1?

Day 30: Kink The author/her self-indulgent whims 📰 🌈

Choice quote: “Ultimately, she really just  liked her friends- and she especially loved hearing all of their stories.”

HypnoBS- Cake. Imma eat a cake.

Thank you all for reading these! I know this is a long post, but I’d really appreciate reblogs of it. If you’ve liked my stories, please consider leaving me a tip on Ko-fi! Also I’d be happy to give extra information on any of the characters or a bit of what happens next if you want to send me an ask about any of these stories. I’m finding myself with a strange craving to write. Funny how that works. :P

[noona-clock]

The Risk - Part 5

Genre: Fighter!AU

Pairing: Park Seo Joon x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: Disgustingly cute fluff and also one curse word

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 | Words: 2,935

Over the next year, Seo Joon made (basically) good on his promise not to ever get punched during a fight. He had gotten kicked a couple of times, but after you had appeared in front of him with very raised, very angry eyebrows, he had reminded you that you’d only made him promise not to get punched.

You hadn’t said anything about getting kicked.

So, obviously, you had made him amend his promise right then and there.

He trained incredibly hard during that year, working especially on his reflexes to make sure you wouldn’t ever have to see him get hit -- punched or kicked.

Before meeting you, he had already trained hard and had an uncanny ability to stay focused on his goals and work until he achieved them. But after meeting you, after hearing just how much you disliked watching him get hurt, he stepped up his game.

In the span of that year, Seo Joon fought in six other matches (not including the match he won the night he officially asked you to be his girlfriend), and he only got hit somewhat badly once. But that had been in his abdomen, not his face, so you had been a bit easier to console.

Also in the span of that year, Seo Joon had done his best to make you fall in love with him, though that was both unknowingly done and took way less than a year. It had only taken three months, in fact.

After the first month of your relationship, Seo Joon had waited for you outside of your class, just like he had on the day you’d first kissed in the garden. But this time, he was holding a rather large bouquet of flowers, all different kinds but all the same color -- your favorite color.

When you’d opened the door of the building and seen him there, your cheeks had immediately turned beet red. The friend you’d been walking with had smirked wildly and poked your side, teasing you about the tall, handsome stranger waiting for you with flowers.

“What are these for?” you’d asked shyly once you’d approached him, a bashful grin curving your lips.

“You have been my girlfriend for exactly one month,” Seo Joon had replied, unable to keep himself from smiling down at you as you brought the bouquet up to your nose. “I thought you deserved some flowers, at least.”

Your response had been, “You didn’t have to buy me flowers.” But those had just been your words. Your smile had been far too wide and, frankly, cheesy for you to actually think that.

So, Seo Joon had done the same thing after month two. He waited for you outside of your class holding a bouquet of flowers, this one even larger and more beautiful than the last. Other students had noticed him, and he’d even heard someone wonder out loud if he was Park Seo Joon, the MMA fighter.

He’d tried not to react or even look in the person’s direction because this was about you -- not him. If someone came up to him to ask for an autograph or a picture... he might actually refuse. You still didn’t care if it happened when the two of you were together; in fact, you encouraged it because his fans were a big reason he had been able to make a career out of what he loved to do.

But anyway. Back to our scene.

The second you’d seen him standing there again, holding yet another embarrassingly big bouquet, you’d bit your lip and speed-walked over to him.

“What are you doing here?” you’d asked as a smile had formed on your lips. You’d immediately slid your arms around his middle and stood on your toes to greet him with a quick kiss.

Before Seo Joon had the chance to answer your question, a loud catcall whistle filled the air. You’d whipped your head around and cried out to the friend you’d been walking with every time he’d come here.

“I’m so sorry,” you’d chuckled after turning back around to face him, your cheeks incredibly pink.

He truly wasn’t sure when you looked more adorable than you did when you were embarrassed -- happily embarrassed, that is. Not embarrassed like ‘I want to crawl into a hole in the ground and stay there forever’ kind of embarrassed.

“I know I should buy you flowers more,” he had told you as he’d handed you the bouquet. “And not just on special occasions. But today, it’s officially been two months since you said you would be my girlfriend.”

You’d smirked and shot him a playfully quizzical look. “I don’t think two months really qualifies as a special occasion.”

“It does when you’re my girlfriend,” he’d murmured before placing a quick kiss on the tip of your nose.

And since you had been so embarrassed -- and since you’d pointed out that a monthly anniversary wasn’t actually an anniversary -- he’d done it again on the third month.

But... this time... it would be a special occasion.

Seo Joon zipped up his jacket before reaching over and grabbing the bouquet, hoping the frigid air outside didn’t nip at the petals as he stood to wait for you.

His breath blew soft, puffy clouds in front of him as he walked to the building he’d become all too familiar with over the last three months, and he checked his watch to make sure he wasn’t running late.

Today was not only the three-month mark of your relationship, but it was also the last day of your final exams for the semester -- hence the special occasion thing. He had thought about taking you out to dinner, ordering your favorite dessert, maybe some wine? But then he’d decided he should probably let you choose. You were the one who had been studying and taking tests for the last month, so he would cater to your every whim tonight.

(Let’s be real though: he catered to your whim every night. Seo Joon was definitely one of those boyfriends. He practically worshipped the ground you walked on. 🤷‍♂️)

Just as he came to stand in his usual spot, the front door to the building swung open. He heard a handful of students let out a relieved sigh, chattering about how glad they were the final -- and semester -- was finally over.

His brow furrowed softly, but before he could start worrying too much about you, he spotted you walking out the door. You quickly said goodbye to your friend before hitching your bag over your shoulder and heading toward him.

A tired but still very happy smile played at your lips, and you let out a soft sigh as you snaked your arms around him. You slid them underneath his jacket, pressing your cheek to his chest as you tried to steal his warmth.

“How did your test go?” he murmured, holding onto you with his free arm and rubbing your back soothingly.

“Fine,” you sighed. “It’s over, so that’s all that matters.”

He placed a kiss on the top of your head, and he expected you to pull away then... but you didn’t. So he didn’t.

And then after at least a minute, he asked, “You’re not going to ask me what I’m doing here? Or what the flowers are for?”

You let out a negative hum, shaking your head just the tiniest bit before you snuggled against his chest even more. “I don’t care today, I’m just happy to see you,” you muttered.

A smile played at Seo Joon’s lips, and he squeezed you once before moving to turn you and start heading toward his car. “How about we go do something? To celebrate?”

“Sure,” you replied quietly, sticking to his side as the two of you ambled down the sidewalk.

“Anything you want,” he announced with a squeeze of your shoulders. “Dinner, movie, shopping...”

Seo Joon heard a soft sigh escape your lips, and then you said, “Can we go back to your place? Order takeout and just relax?”

“If that’s what you want to do, then that’s what we’ll do,” he replied.

You stopped walking then, tilting your head up and raising your eyebrows at him.

“Well, right now, I want a kiss,” you told him.

A smile quirked at Seo Joon’s lips, and he bent down to grant your request without a moment’s hesitation.

“And I want my flowers,” you added, reaching over and taking the bouquet from him. “Thank you for them, they’re so beautiful.”

“You know why I got them, right?” he asked quietly.

“Besides the fact I finished all my exams?”

“In addition to,” he confirmed.

“I’m guessing... it’s been three months?”

Seo Joon moved to kiss you again as a reward for being so smart, and you smiled against his lips.

“Are you really going to bring me flowers at school every single month?” you asked with a note of amusement in your voice. “You really don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t have to,” Seo Joon replied. “But I want to. I want to make sure you know how I feel about you. How important you are to me.”

“But then what do I do?” you asked as Seo Joon reached into his pocket to get his car keys ready.

“What do you mean?”

“To show you how I feel about you and how important you are to me? I haven’t done anything,” you pointed out with a slightly pouty lower lip.

“Now that is not true,” Seo Joon countered. “You came to my match.”

“But that was three months ago!”

“So? You coming to one match is definitely equal to me bringing you flowers multiple times,” he said. And then, because he knew you would try to argue again, he added, “I’m a guy. Guys don’t need to be reminded as much because just the fact a girl is still with us is enough. Every day when you wake up and decide you still want to be my girlfriend is how you show me I’m important to you.”

Just as the two of you approached his car, right before you broke off so you could each get into your respective seats, you paused. You quirked a brow up at him.

“Did you even know you were this romantic?” you asked with a barely hidden smirk.

“No,” he answered, chuckling softly and shaking his head. “Only for you.”

“How did I get so lucky?” you mused.

“I ask myself the same question all the time,” Seo Joon whispered before he gave you one more kiss.

About fifteen minutes later, Seo Joon dialed the number of the nearest Chinese takeout restaurant while you put your flowers in a vase in his kitchen. And, yes, you’d had to buy a vase for his apartment because he hadn’t previously owned one. Is that surprising?

As he ordered way too much food over the phone, he watched as you stepped out of your shoes, shuffled over to his couch, and flopped down onto it, practically face-planting into the cushions with a soft groan.

Once the restaurant employee supplied him with the total and said it would be delivered in about half an hour, Seo Joon set his phone on the counter and went over to join you.

“I think my brain is on its last leg,” you told him as he carefully slid onto the couch to lie down next to you.

“No Scrabble tonight, then,” he murmured, fitting himself behind you and sliding an arm over your waist.

“No,” you chuckled. You instantly settled into his hold, letting out a very content sigh as he pressed a kiss to the back of your shoulder. “All I want right now are cuddles.”

“Then cuddles you shall get.” As if he hadn’t planned to do that already. 😉😏 “We have a full half-hour before the food is delivered.”

“Only a half-hour? No, I was thinking more like cuddling all night,” you replied. 

“Ooh, all night,” Seo Joon smirked, nuzzling your neck and nipping your skin there. “I like the sound of that.”

You let him press lazy kisses along your neck and shoulder for a few moments, and then you asked in a quiet voice, “Can I? Stay over?”

He knew you were nervous because, while you’d been to his apartment countless times by this point, you’d never actually spent the night. But for him? He’d been waiting for you to bring it up for weeks now. He hadn’t wanted to push you by asking you himself, but he would’ve let you stay at his place practically from the very beginning. Not for that reason, but just because he liked having you around. He imagined seeing you when he fell asleep and again when he woke up would just be... heaven.

“Of course, you can,” he murmured, his lips brushing over your skin. “You’re welcome to stay over any time you want.”

You turned around in his arms, a fairly giddy smile on your lips before you pressed the tip of your nose to his. “How very accommodating you are.”

“Hey now,” he began in the sternest tone he could muster. “I’m not this way with just anyone. Don’t go around telling everyone you see they can come and stay at my place.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” you giggled. “You really think I’d want to share you? Absolutely not.”

Your words made Seo Joon’s heart flutter more than he would ever care to admit out loud, even to you. “Good,” he grinned. “I don’t want to share you either.”

You let out another giggle before tilting your head, pressing your lips to his over and over again.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked in-between kisses.

“Mhm,” you hummed. You kissed him one more time before settling back, allowing him to look at your face as he spoke.

“I’m really proud of you,” he said, his voice soft but filled with earnest adoration. “You’ve worked really hard, at school and at work, and I just want you to know that I’m proud of you.”

“Well, thank you,” you replied with a very bashful grin. “I’m proud of you, too.”

Seo Joon smiled over at you, bringing one hand up and tracing over your cheek with his thumb. He searched your face, taking in every single feature, every single inch of you he could see...

He had planned to say this tonight, yes, but he hadn’t quite worked out the logistics. He hadn’t been sure if he’d wanted to make some grand gesture or something, but... right now, just lying here on the couch with you, he knew this was the right time.

“Can I tell you something else?” he asked again, his voice even softer this time.

“Yes, of course,” you chuckled gently.

He looked into your eyes for a few moments, and just before it felt like you were going to urge him to say whatever it was he wanted to say... he said it.

“I love you.”

Your eyes widened, and before he knew it, your lips were on his.

“I love you, too,” you murmured, still kissing him.

And, good grief, if Seo Joon had ever been happier, he sure couldn’t remember when it had been.

“So...” he began, plastering a very angelic smile on his face. “Does that mean you’ll come to my match this weekend?”

He had told you he loved you because he meant it, yes, but... it was also the best way he could think of to invite you to the fight in a couple of days. There hadn’t been one since the one and only match you’d gone to, but he knew you weren’t looking forward to them.

“Seo Joon,” you scolded once you pulled away from him. “Of course, I’ll be there! I told you I would. I won’t like it, and I’ll be anxious the whole time, but I’m still going.”

And you did go -- to that match and to the six other matches Seo Joon had during the first year of your relationship. You didn’t like it, and you were anxious the whole time, but you still went, just like you said you would.

As I mentioned earlier, Seo Joon only got a hit a couple of times during all seven of those matches. He had trained harder than ever to make sure he didn’t have to worry you, and, if he was being honest, the opponents he’d faced hadn’t been much of a challenge.

Overall, that year had been pretty excellent. One of -- if not the -- best of Seo Joon’s life so far. His career was still at its peak. His relationship was stronger than ever. He fell in love with you more each day, and he knew without a doubt that you were The One he was meant to be with forever.

Truly, he felt like he was on top of the world. Like nothing could go wrong.

He should’ve known better.

As soon as he saw his manager’s name on his phone screen, he should have known. There was no way he could have known, but after hearing it, it felt like it was so obvious. Like it had just been waiting in the wings for him. Inevitable.

“Hey,” Jang Ho greeted tersely. Not his usual tone of voice.

“What’s up?” Seo Joon asked.

“I just got the schedule for your next match.”

“Yeah? When is it?”

“It’s next month,” he told him. “And... you’re fighting Martinez.”

...Oh, fuck.

Martinez.

The only fighter Seo Joon had ever lost to.

Part 6

[icantbraintoday-tryagainlater]

You are Expendable

You are a hard working individual Pride yourself on your work You show up early and stay late You never miss a meeting or an email “We are lucky to have you, You are such a great asset to the team. With everything you do, to show our gratitude We will fire you without question.” You work hard every day Put your heart and soul into the job You encourage your coworkers, teammates Take that overtime and bust your ass You don’t sleep, you think of what You can do better tomorrow Yet you are expendable. Your job does not need you You will be replaced by the end of the day. Your job does not value you, You are a commodity that can be replaced. Your skill is teachable, Your knowledge is common. The truth is you are expendable And they’ll replace you for their financial gain.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I should have known from the 1st day of training my job as a claim associate for a Big Name National Insurance Company that I would regret my decision to apply.

I should have known when within two days of training I was pulled to the side and written up. For my neighbor talking to me.

I should have known.

So this is all on me, I know, but I thought that this company would treat me right and it was only these two bitter old employees who were about to retire.

I was wrong. I was so wrong.

the first year was amazing! I met new friends, I was great at my job, I had the best manager in the world! I was surprised that I could like working in Insurance. I was being talked to about advancement, different areas of the company I would excel at, and the right path to follow to achieve my goals.

Then She came along. Covid hit, we were all sent home, and a brand new manager took over my team. I didn’t think much of it, because honestly? She seemed fine. She was new to managing, but not new to the job. My biggest critique then had just been how much time she seemed to take off. She was NEVER there. Every other day she was taking a partial day. She took long weekends, took weeks off at a time. It was weird to say the least. 

But then the snippy emails came. The bitchy remarks.

My team suffered GREATLY. We went from being one of the top performing teams to suddenly being at the bottom. And all of these Outliers Reports that we had never heard of started becoming this huge deal.

Literally never heard of these reports, and then one week we were all on them. And it was a BIG DEAL (TM). Then we were getting in trouble for being in the wrong call states (the call states we have been told to be in for specific situations since we were trained were suddenly the wrong call states).

All of this I was willing to just deal with. But then...

Then my mom got sick. I got a call from my father at around 1 or 2PM Thursday, November 19, 2020. My mom was going to the ER because they thought she was having a stroke. I told my boss I couldn’t be at work and left for the day. Found out that it was a tumor, possibly cancer. Within 2 weeks she was in surgery to remove the mass and we found out it was Glioblastoma. The worst brain cancer.

And my friends and family kept asking “Is your work understanding? Being accommodating?” And I couldn’t say they were. They were the complete opposite of understanding.

I fought for a while to make them understand and to just ask for simple accommodations only to be met with “If you can’t do your job then go home.”

Below is a letter I wrote to HR.

“To whom it may concern,

My name is ______, and I work as a claims representative in the Auto Property Claims, Express. I am writing to you today to bring up some issues I have recently run into with the way Express is run, and I would like to discuss these with you and hopefully find a solution so if someone else is ever in my position, they are treated better.

Specifically, I would like to discuss how I was treated when I found out my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer.

I received a call on my first break on Thursday, November 19th, from my father. He told me that my mother was on her way to the ER. I immediately IM’d my manager, *blacked out*, and requested to leave, as my father cannot take care of my mother alone since he is blind. She simply said that she logged me out, and I did not think anything of her short reply.

I came back to work on Monday, November 23rd, because I had no more PTO, despite still waiting for my mother’s MRIs to come back with the official diagnosis. She was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor on her brain.  I could not afford to take time off (and also welcomed a distraction), but knew I would not be much help on phones, so I asked for tasks and waited 40 minutes for a response.  However, She simply stated that it wasn't possible for me to do other tasks - that either I could answer calls and talk to customers while in crisis and crying or miss work and not get paid.

I understand there are rules and managers cannot change our schedules on a whim; however, it felt crass that she would not even discuss an alternative. In the past I know that myself and others have been given courtesy during extreme circumstances, so I had spoken with another team manager about it, and he told me he would speak with Jessica for me.

Right before close, however, I received a very snippy IM from Her stating the following: “Just so you know, I had spoken with my boss, *blocked*, about this. And she said we couldn’t do that. And you were logged out for 40 minutes earlier today so I took the liberty of changing your T2 for that as an Unscheduled PTO.”

Those 40 minutes were while I was waiting for her response and trying to get myself together after learning horribly devastating news. I also felt very attacked and that if I were to do anything that she did not like from now on that she would retaliate against me. I still feel as though she will retaliate against me just because I went to another manager with an issue that she did not appear to care about at all. 

She has also consistently been lacking in manager experience, as well. The most prominent example of this is that she will not (or possibly does not know how to) help with personal development, either within the company nor in my current job position. When she brings up any areas where I could do better, she simply tells me “do better,” and when I ask for advice on how to go about doing so because I feel as though I am doing all I can she simply tells me again “do better." I can provide examples if you would like.

I attempted to speak about this with HR, but they simply asked why I was upset that my manager was asking me to do my job. I felt isolated afterwards, and felt as though Big National Insurance Company in general does not care about their employees in the least. Our motto is Remarkable. But my experience during this tragic time of learning that my mother might not just have brain cancer, but may never regain control or strength of her left side (her dominant side) ever again, coupled with the fact that my father only went blind 3 years ago so I now have 2 disabled parents whom I may need to start taking care of on a regular basis, has been anything but remarkable

I was told to get CIGNA to look into ADA accommodations. However, I needed the accommodation immediately, and CIGNA can take weeks, if not months, to get established. In that moment I needed to know that I could do my job while also helping my family through this horribly difficult time, and I was told to jump through hoops like a circus animal and maybe I would still have a job after, but probably would not be paid for the time off. I could apply for the Employee Grant, but that’s not a guarantee, and I have to apply for it after I’ve already lost the pay. As I’m living paycheck to paycheck right now, that would mean I would probably be facing eviction by the time I would receive any assistance. 

Accommodations were simply thrown out the window and when my friends ask how I’m doing and if my job is being understanding, I cannot say that they are. Between the points system, which punishes you for being ill or having to care for family, and my boss’s cold, indifferent, and unsympathetic attitude towards me, I feel as though I am literally just a number, an expendable employee who is simply there to be a robot. 

As I stated at the beginning of this email, I would love the chance to discuss this with you to find a solution. So if anyone else is ever put in this position, they are treated with dignity, respect, and sympathy, rather than cold, unfeeling retaliation and robotic responses. So future employees do not have to jump through hoops in order to have simple and understandable accommodations made as they work on getting the rest lined up.

You can reach me at this email, my personal email *blocked*, or through text or calls at my cell number *blocked*. 

Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

*my name*

We had a lovely conversation with my boss, her boss, and a new HR rep. But did anything change? No. If anything, I started getting micromanaged even more.

There is so much more to the story than this, but I - I just don’t have the time or energy to type it up.

Maybe I will another day.

But in conclusion - I should have known. Shame on me for allowing myself to be fooled.

[wonderful-bellies]

Alright. Honestly hour time.

Warning for those that wanna avoid this sorta thing: This is gonna be a post about depression shit so if you can't handle that atm please keep scrolling. I'll be fine if you don't check in on me ❤️

I know I haven't been active as much lately. My posting has kinda staggered, my art even moreso. And firstly I wanna say I am not giving up. Never through any of this have I once thought about just quitting this blog and abandoning my art and this community cause it has brought me so much happiness and become a little home for me.

Secondly I wanna thank everyone for still sticking around, and welcome to those of you that just followed. I also apologize to you for the lack of content.

Everything really comes down to my life kinda changing and fucking up my depression addled brain immensely. I started this blog in highschool, I was welcomed into an amazing friendly talented community that I adored and I somehow started getting more followers abd attention for my art than I ever dreamed I'd have anytime soon. I was motivated as all hell, I had a stable life structure. Friends I saw nearly everyday, I knew to an extent what the future held. I was content to draw my heart out and go about life as I always had with a lil flash of happiness in the form of a dumb vore and gt blog I'd made on a whim. I even started an ask blog, it wasn't even supposed to be an aso blog. It was supposed to be a seperate blog for same size bellies that just turned into an ask blog. Unfortunately, I haven't posted there in a long time. But I adored every second of it and I hope to one day resurrect it too.

And then highschool neared its end. I was nervous but confident, I had gone through highlschool with depression and anxiety and adhd and I'd convinced myself that once I got into college, everything would be great. I'd be studying on my own terms about topics I loved. But as it turns out, college wasn't exactly like that. I got lonely, I struggled to make friends. My first roommate hated me. I didn't know anyone there, I spent every night falling asleep jext to someone who got pissed at me for stsying in the bathroom to cry for too long. This is when productivity on the blog started to get a liiittle bit wobbly.

After some time I just couldn't take it and I begged to come home. I left that school and enrolled in a local community college while living at home. I found the classes there to be more challenging for me. I failed in more than one course, got bad grades in an art class for the first time in my life. I was costing my family money and I still couldn't seem to make friends. After a long time of trying and just not working, I was put on academic probation. And I made a decision to not come back. This is where my productivity and mental health and the blog itself flopped I think.

I started living at home, simply going about life every day getting up, playing some games, talking to some friends online, and that's about it. I tried to force myself to get a job, a driver's license, an internship, anything to make up for my lack of productivity. But a horrible combination of unpreparedness, depression, and major anxiety made doing those things impossible. I had a job briefly, one that I wasn't told was a holiday job only and I was let go without being told. Simply never scheduled again. It made my anxiety on the matter worse. And on top of it all, it turned out that a stable life structure was a major motivator for my art. I doodled a TON at school. Daydreamed and came up with ideas, had my mind going. It's why I did so much on my blog at that time. But now, with a lack of structure for going on 3 years now, I seem to have lost a lot of that drive. I still love art, I still wouldn't dream of giving it up. But it's so difficult for me to get myself to do it anymore. I've fallen deeper into depression, I've slowly been losing contact with my in person friends, I've started comparing myself harshly and getting pissed at myself for wasting my life and doing nothing. I try to do commissions A: for money and B: because it makes me feel like I'm trying, like I'm worth something. But even that now has come with its issues. I'm finding my lack of motivation is making getting commissions done very difficult for me lately. And in my mind I'm constantly hearing my own voice screaming at me to get shit done. Cause people have been waiting. They're still waiting. They've been waiting longer than anyone should have to wait for art. Especially art like mine.

And with the lack of motivation, comes a lack of practice. And I start to get more pissed at myself. I haven't been happy or prpud of my own art in a long time. And I've started comparing myaelf ruthlessly. I've gotten so bad that sometimes, even thinking about the concept of other artists makes me feel worthless. I can barely look at a piece of someone's art without twisting it to make me feel like I'm not good at art. And it isn't fair to the artists. Because they've done nothing to deserve that form if thinking. I've started avoiding looking at other's art because of it. Because I just don't want to feel bad about myself. And tgat just sends me into fits of guilt. I should be proud of them, I should take their wonderful skill as motivation for myself as well as celebrate their accomplishments. But I can't stop analyzing and hating myself. That's why I haven't been reblogging much, why I'm not online often. And it's bullshit and I'm so very sorry.

Overall, I'm just in a terrible spot in life right now. I don't know how I'm gonna get out of it, if I even ever will, where my life will go from there. I'm tired of feeling this way, I miss my life in highschool so very much. and I'm so sorry my friends. You've all been so supportive and believing and kind and encouraging. And every day that passes I can't help but feel like I've failed you. Every single person I've talked to on this blog or haven't, every other artist in the community, every person I've promised a commission or request or art trade to and still haven't delivered. I'm sorry. I'm trying so hard to find that spark of happiness again, I've taken the steps. But I'm not sure if I'll find it, and if I do it probably won't be anytime soon. I'm sorry. I hope you all know how very much I love you. And thank you for veing here with me.