#Only a few seconds to save Sakura's life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

venerawrites · 8 months ago

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I swear your writing is the best, and your depiction of the Naruto guys as dads really warms my heart and gives me such baby fever. Could I please have something with Kiba x female reader where you're married and bring your new babies (I really love your headcannon that Kiba would have twins) home, and the babies meet Akamaru for the first time? Your headcannons for him were so beautiful and really made me want more of your husband / dad Kiba. I hope you're having the best week <3

author's note: aw, this message is so cute! I love that recently I have so many requests for Kiba - my boy deserves so much love and I am pretty sure he would be amazing dad! I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope you enjoy reading it! Thank you for requesting! <3

Getting pregnant was an unexpected event in your mid-twenties. You've always imagined that you would build a solid career, get a nice house in the outskirts of Konoha and marry your childhood sweetheart before you have any children. But life was full with surprises and you only accomplished becoming Mrs. Inuzuka before finding out that you are carrying the fruit of your love inside of you.

Or more precisely - fruits.

You still remember clearly the moment both you and Kiba heard the two heartbeats for the first time. Holding hands, you stared at the little monitor where you could see two blurry blobs, before your wide eyes found each other's.

"Congratulations!", Sakura enthusiastically patted your knee, giving you a wide smile, "You are having twins!"

Too shocked to say anything, you just blinked at her a few times with unreadable expression. Kiba, on the other hand, kept opening and closing his mouth, unsure of how to voice his thoughts.

"If you need some more time to process this, I can leave the room for a bit...", the kunoichi offered, her brows furrowing at your weird reactions. Before she can even stand up, however, the man next to you finally found his voice.

"TWINS?", the word came out almost like a yell making you and her cringe at the loudness, "Like.. like two people?"

Sakura closed her eyes, obviously holding herself back from rolling them, before her lips stretched into the most polite smile she could offer to a question like this.

"Yes, Kiba", she said slowly, emphasizing each word, "Twins means TWO babies."

She twirled on her chair tapping the edge of her pen on the little screen showing you each baby, but her explanation fell on deaf ears. For you it felt like the whole world has stopped and you couldn't really focus neither on the woman's voice or your husband's questions.

Since being a teenager, you have imagined yourself with multiple kids in the future. But two at once? Kiba and you were still living with his mother and sister while saving for your own house. On top of that while you were doing pretty well job wise, having two kids at home meant that your career would surely be halted at least for a few years.

The feeling of your husband's fingers on your cheek brought you out of your trance and you looked around, only to find that you were now alone in the room. Taking a seat next to you, he gently grabbed your chin, turning you toward him.

"Hey", he softly said, "What's wrong, baby?"

Letting out a sigh, you tried to turn your head to the side, but his grip was firm. Why did it feel so hard to voice your worries to him? You have been together for years and best friends for twice as many. There were thousands of secrets you have shared with each other before, some of them way more embarrassing and bad than what you were currently feeling.

"C'mon, talk to me", this time he brough your hand to his lips, landing a small kiss on the back of it. You stared at him for few more seconds, before finally finding the courage to speak.

"What are we going to do, Kiba?"

His brows scrunched, a confusion written all over his face.

"What do you mean?"

You laid your free hand on your stomach, rubbing small circles on it and suddenly your eyes started to burn with tears. In your best try to blink them away, a few of them fell down your cheeks, catching your lover's attention. With one swift move, he was on the bed next to you, holding you in his arms, while your body kept shaking with sobs.

"I am just... so scared! I never thought I would be having twins... two babies! How are we going to manage with two babies? We can barely keep up with Akamaru! Oh my, I am alread-"

The rant was interrupted by Kiba, who pressed his finger against your mouth silencing you. Expecting a more defensive reaction from him, you were taken aback when he pressed his lips against your forehead, letting them linger for a while.

"Baby, we are in this together, yeah? We are going to manage, just like we always do", his eyes found yours while saying this and it was enough for all your racing thoughts to stop, allowing you to look realistically at the situation.

Your husband was right. It was hard to think of a time when you were not side by side - knowing each other since you were little kids, you've experienced everything together. Your first day at school, your first mission, your first kiss, your first party, your first promotion, your first intimacy, your first (and hopefully last) war... The list was long, yet there was still much to be added to it.

Your first pregnancy included.

"Stop doing that!", he scolded you, flicking you with his middle finger on the tip of your nose. Your brows immediately furrowed, a frown forming on your lips once you felt him do it a second time.

"Doing what?"

"Stressing about stuff", he grinned, reaching toward your face for a third time, which you manage to dodge by leaning back, "We are going to be fine, baby, I promise!"

Unable to stop the warmth from spreading inside your chest at the sound of his words, you leaned forward, softly capturing his lips with yours. The kiss was short and sweet, very different from the intense make out sessions you usually shared and which eventually got you to your current situation.

"I love you, Kiba", the words came out as a whisper once you pulled away from him and pressed your forehead against his.

"I love you too, baby", he said back, rubbing his nose against yours lovingly. Moments like these were rare - not only because living in the Inuzuka compound meant you rarely had any moments of privacy when you can allow yourself to be vulnerable, but also because you relationship was better described as flirty and teasing, rather than sweet and romantic.

True to himself, your husband let you enjoy this side of him just for a bit, before he ruined the moment once again.

"Damn, your hormones must be going crazy right now! You're changing moods faster than- OW!"

He rubbed his shoulder when you just hit him, sticking his tongue out when he noticed the unimpressed glare you gave him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"One more step... Here you go! Almost there!"

Following Kiba's voice, you gripped your lover's hand so hard in yours, he tried his best not to wince in pain. But hey, it was his idea to blindfold you when he picked you and your babies from the hospital, so he couldn't really complain, right?

"Kiba, I swear to Kami, if I fall down these stairs...", there was no need for you to finish the sentence for him to nervously gulp, letting out a nervous chuckle. Placing his palm on your lower back, he supported your body, making sure there is no risk for you to trip or lean backwards.

"Do you think I am going to let you fall down the stairs, silly?", he tried to joke, but he could tell by the low grumble that left your lips that you were not really amused by it.

When he first tried to put the cloth over your eyes, you refused to entertain his gimmicks. Being in a hospital for over two weeks after giving birth to your twin boys had mentally drained you and more than anything you just wanted to go home. Thankfully there was nothing wrong with you or your sons, but as this was the first pair of twins Sakura had treated, she insisted on keeping you for supervision longer than was really needed.

One thing about your husband, however, was that he was so stubborn it was almost impossible to fight him when he had his mind set on something. So after nearly half an hour of him whining he wanted to surprise you, you finally agreed to be blindfolded. He insisted carrying the twins on the clothed baby carrier his mother had handmade for you, placing one of the children in front of his chest, while the other one was comfortably resting on his back.

Much to your dismay and Kiba's happiness, your twin boys were an exact replica of their dad. Save for the eyes, which they both took from you, their brown hair, red cheek markings and face features were a clear indicator to which clan they belonged. This was a big stroke to your husband's ego and he never missed a chance to point out to you how they were going to grow up just like him.

"Okay, okay!", the man excitedly said after he let you through, what you assumed was, a door, "I am going to remove the blindfold now... Are you ready?"

"Yes, baby, I'm ready", you replied with a tired voice, yet there was a note of excitement in it. Your beloved was not usually one for surprises, so you were eager to see what he had prepared for you.

Without wasting a second, he moved behind you, untying the piece of cloth and sliding it from your head. Taking a few seconds to adjust to the light, you blinked a few times, before letting out a loud gasp.

Looking around, you found yourself in a completely new house... YOUR new house. It had most of the furniture from the home you shared with his mother, but you had noticed he intentionally left some of the interior to be finished by you.

So this is what he must have been doing during the past two months, when he kept having to leave the hospital early because he had "work to do". With a small laugh, your turned to him, carefully circling your arms around him, so you don't hurt any of the babies, who were curiously examining their new surrounding.

"Do you like it? I know for how long we've been talking about getting a house and now it felt like the right moment.."

"Like it? Baby, I love it!", you pressed a sweet kiss to his mouth, small tears of happiness forming in the corners of your eyes. Before you could say anything else, your attention was caught by the sound of distant barking. Turning around, you could see Akamaru running toward you, while wiggling his tail in excitement.

"Akamaru! Hi, my favourite boy!", you crouched down to his level, laughing once he attacked your face with wet kisses, "Yes, I'm excited to see you too! I missed you!"

"I thought I was your favourite boy...", Kiba muttered next to you and you playfully rolled your eyes, getting up to your feet.

"Aw, don't be jealous now! He is my favourite boy... with fur!"

Losing his interest in you, Akamaru start sniffing Kiba, circling his form, while letting out a bark at the new, unfamiliar family members. Carefully taking out the baby that was placed in the front of his chest, Kiba felt your hands doing the same with your second son strapped to his back.

Holding one baby each, both of you kneeled down, letting Akamaru take a sniff. Surprisingly, instead of being scared, the twins found the big white dog intriguing, as they tried to reach toward his face and grab his nose.

"Careful, boy!", Kiba warned, as he noticed Akamaru trying to lick one of the children, who in return wriggled uncomfortably in his arms, "They are too little for kisses like that... Be gentle!"

Understanding his owner's warning, the dog stepped back before sitting down, his eyes still traveling between both boys, studying them.

"Good boy", you praised him, before putting your hand out for him to put his paw in. Once he did, you let the baby in your arms reach toward the paw as well, smiling as you saw Akamaru wiggle his tail at the touch, "Oh, you already love each other, huh?"

"Of course they do, they are all Inuzuka, after all", Kiba said smugly, bouncing one of your twins on his knee. Clicking your togue, you stood up, eager to explore the rest of the house.

Your husband swiftly followed, taking it upon himself to give you a tour of the project he has been working on for months. To say you were impressed would be too weak of a description of how you were feeling right now - you were absolutely amazed at the amount of effort he put into making this place your own.

He had already prepared a nursery for the babies, with its own bathroom and closet, as well as two empty rooms, which would turn into your children's rooms once they grow old enough to be separated. There were a big bathroom, kitchen and a dining room, all of which were looking over the nearby forest.

At the end of the corridor and next to the nursery was your own bedroom, which was spacious and light, with a backdoor leading to a small garden.

"And this is our room... You know, where I will make sure you carry another set of twins soon!"

Gasping, you lightly hit his arm, your face going bright red at his words. He only laughed, smacking your bum with his free hand, before heading to the twins' room to put the one he was holding to sleep.

Looking at the baby in your arms, who was looking at you curiously, you shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips.

"Please don't turn out to have your dad's personality or I may actually go crazy."

cc artwork: Joanne Tran

#kiba inuzuka #kiba x reader #kiba fluff #kiba imagine #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons #naruto requests

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 2 years ago

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Hello! Hope you've had a good day/night can I request Ror gods or human you can choose with a Gyutaro!reader or a Inosuke!reader

-You were loud, obnoxious, couldn’t remember a name to save your life, reckless, and like a wild animal, like the boar head you wore over your head. You were like a wild boar.

-However, at the same time, your battle skills were second to none, your ability to adapt in battles and dodge flawlessly at the slightest hint of killing intent, you were not to be underestimated by any means!

-You were placated easily with food, eating away from others, and it was the only time, except for when you slept, when you were quiet.

-Brunnhilde had her hands full with you, but she couldn’t risk losing a fighter like you in the middle of Ragnarok, however, you were grating on her last nerve when you called out, “Hey Bun Hills! When do I get to fight?!”

-She was lucky earlier on, when you ate yourself into a food coma, so you were quiet, not disturbing the other fighters, but now you were awake again.

-She sighed softly, “You’re scheduled to fight next. Go get ready!” you cheered, leaping up with a shout of glee before running out, that kept you busy for at least ten minutes.

-When it was your time to fight, you were eager, walking out like you owned this arena, cocky and arrogant, but Brunnhilde knew that you could back it up.

-Your opponent sneered at you, “Why are you dressed like an idiot?” you instantly lost your temper, “WHAT WAS THAT YOU BASTARD?! I’LL KILL YOU!!!”

-Your fight was intense and definitely fun to watch, you talked a lot of shit, but your moves, able to easily dodge most of the blows with ease, was very impressive and the humans in the crowd were cheering loudly for you, which was only making you more hyper.

-You charged with a head butt and your opponent slashed down with his sword, you dodged at the last second, but he managed to hit your mask, breaking it.

-In slow motion your face was revealed, a bright grin on your face and instantly everyone was in such an uproar!

-You were so unbelievably pretty!! You would be absolutely stunning if you just kept your mouth shut, because your crass and vulgar way of talking didn’t match your beautiful looks.

-You won, as you had gotten pissed that your boar’s head was broken, now you had to go and find a new one!

-The older samurai, you forget his name, was there to greet you with a warm smile, “Y/N- that was amazing!!” your fists came to your hips, “Don’t mention it Kentaro!”

-Kojiro laughed, scratching his cheek, “Wrong again.” You started, flinching back in shock, panicking as the two of you started to walk, “Sakura Kentoro!” the two of you went back and forth, you got close a few times, but never got it, but you never seemed to get names.

-Aphrodite surprised you both by seeking you out, “Y/N~~ I wanted to see you!” you were stuffing your face with food, sharing with Kojiro and Okita, “OI! Don’t say my name so cute!!” she held a hand to her face, cooing softly, “You are certainly crass. But once I train you up- you’ll be so beautiful!!”

-Kojiro glanced at you and was quickly roaring with laughter as you ran out of the room, not wanting to have anything with this goddess and she was quick to give chase.

#record of ragnarok #ror x reader #ror kojiro sasaki #ror aphrodite

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raveneira · 4 months ago

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Its kinda funny how ppl used the recent chapter to say it proves Sarada saved Boruto there and that we all made fun of her for nothing, when KK literally says in that timeline he saw she and Boruto BOTH were killed by Kawaki, so how does that prove her intervention saved him? KK literally says she tried to help him AND DIED

These are the same ppl who will tell you you lack reading comprehension, yet look at a panel where KK clearly says Sarada DIES when she tried to intervene and say 'See!? this proves she saved Boruto! we told you so!'

Like...how dumb can you be fr? this timeline proves what everyone was already saying, that she DID NOT SAVE HIM, infact, it was actually everyone that showed up AFTER she was about to be killed that saved him and changed his fate here, this vision literally proves that Sarada didn't do shit to change his fate, all she did was be killed right alongside Boruto if her dad and the others didn't arrive when they did.

But I shouldnt be surprised, till this day ppl still give Hinata praise for Minato's fail safe he placed a whole 15 years in advance, ppl still claim Hinata is the one who saved Naruto when it was infact Minato that did, because had Minato not have had that backup plan for this EXACT situation then Naruto would've let himself be consumed and died, taking who knows how many ppl with him.

Now their doing the same thing with Sarada, claiming her intervention is what saved Boruto's life, when it was actually everyone else arriving when they did that changed that fate, Sarada did absolutely nothing in that situation but make it go from bad to worse

But to be fair I'll be a little generous to Hinata tho, because she actually did at least TRY to do something to protect Naruto, she didn't just go there just to be in the way, she TRIED to fight Pain, she was just outmatched, she knew that and still tried to take him on and fight him back even if only for a few seconds

Sarada did nothing but bluff, for ppl who talk about 'love' makes one act irrational and thats why her running there to help Boruto is proof that her feelings for Boruto are more genuine than Sumire's who stayed behind but they conveniently forget the other part of that

Love doesnt just make you irrational, it gives you courage and strength, the desire to protect someone precious to you is when you become truly strong, remember that? because we saw it with Hinata, Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, know who we ain't see it with? Sarada, because she went there blew one fireball and then froze up TWICE when Boruto was about to die, which adds up with KK saying she was going to die there, not very hard to believe when she just stood there both times he tried to take their lives so yea, I can definitely see how that future came about.

So my point? love doesnt just make you irrational like these ppl try to simplify, its true it does make you irrational, but it also makes you brave, it makes you strong, it gives you the strength to act even in the most hopeless situation where you know there's no chance of success but you do it anyway, you TRY, succeed or fail you TRY and die trying if thats what it comes to, but the one thing you DONT do? is just stand there WAITING to die, thats the OPPOSITE of what love does.

Oh and I know the excuse 'well she was scared, this was intentional, its part of her development to realize shes weak and wanna get stronger' great argument, except that was already established in 69

We already established her recognizing her weakness, her frustration at it, her wanting to get stronger so that next time she WILL be there to protect Boruto, you'd think this would be set up for a big payoff in 78 where Boruto is in trouble again and this time Sarada's able to save him right? now we're gonna see her resolve right? this convo in 69 was setup for a big pay off here right? apparently fkin not cuz this is what we got

Ok lets be generous, it was the heat of the moment, she choked, but now shit just got real, Boruto's whole eye is sliced, she sees Kawaki is serious now, she saw Boruto get hurt because of her weakness when it came time to step up, she failed to protect Boruto AGAIN when he needed her

Now surely we'll get the payoff right? if she doesn't act now then she and Boruto will DIE, Boruto has already been badly hurt because of her weakness, surely NOW is where her resolve kicks in and she protects him for real right? nope

You really dont get goofier than this, Naruto and Sasuke had their coward moments too don't get me wrong, but the difference is THEY GOT OVER IT, they REFLECTED on their weakness and cowardice and resolved to be stronger in the future, but think about it, Sarada already reflected and resolved to be stronger and prepared in the future, so why when even the danm narrative itself set this moment up to be where Sarada shows her resolve to not be weak and protect Boruto like she wants to, why do we only see her freeze, waver, and crumble when she has the chance to act?

Because this isnt just a 78 isolated case, she does it in 79 and 80 as well

Hate to say it but its the truth, the girl lacks resolve, she talks big but when its time to back it up she folds like paper

She failed to be there for Boruto when Kawaki killed him because she didn't even know he was in danger, she was mad at herself and resolved to get stronger so that next time Boruto's in danger she'll be there to protect him

What does she do with every chance she has to do that?

She froze and cost Boruto his eye

She froze and almost let them both die

She stands there shakin Mitsuki yellin at him to listen to her instead of protecting Boruto

She falls to her knees crying after hearing Naruto was killed and completely ignores Mitsuki saying he's going to kill Boruto and going off to do just that

But surely after all of those fumbles she'll pick herself up and finally resolve to stop being weak and be there for her friend right? unfortunately not, instead we get this

Flat out confirmation that she wasnt so in shock that she didn't hear what Mitsuki said, she heard him clearly say he was going to kill Boruto and she just let him go off to do that, if Sasuke never showed up Sarada would still be sitting there crying while Boruto is being slaughtered by Mitsuki or whoever else found him.

While shes there whining and crying to her dad, Boruto is fending for himself against team 10, it doesn't matter that she managed to convince her dad to go save him, why wasn't SHE there trying to save him herself? WHY did it take Sasuke showing up for her to even move? WHY did it take Sumire telling her 'hey we're the only ones who can help Boruto right now' for Sarada to finally do something? which she didn't, she begged her DAD to do something while she stayed behind continuing to do nothing.

This is the exact same crap ppl give Sakura shit for with Naruto's promise, even tho he made the promise of his own volition, ppl dragged Sakura for putting the burden of bringing Sasuke back on Naruto instead of takin action herself.

Which leads me back to what I said about self reflection...so do you think after all of this Sarada reflected on her weakness and made moves to make sure she was never this weak and powerless again? to make sure this time she can protect Boruto with her own strength and not have to rely on her dad to resolve everything? feel even a tad bit of remorse for placing that type of burden on her dad? putting him in harms way just to protect her friend because SHES too weak to? surely she's gonna have her own version of this right?

Surely we were gonna see Sarada finally reflect and address her weakness and work to change it NOW right? after all of that? surely NOW right? nope

Know what she does? yap, and Im not even kidding, thats literally what she does.

And yaps

Freezes

Yaps some more

Hugs

Yaps about hug in her head

Still not doin nothin to stop Mitsuki

Zero reflection, zero remorse, zero accountability, and zero effort to do anything different than she was before

But yall wanna claim she saved him and everybody was wrong this whole time lol she not only didn't save him, she has consistently gone out of her way NOT to save him at any point afterwards besides sending her dad to fight her battle for her.

Sakura had an excuse, she had an obligation to not fight on the frontlines as a medical ninja, Sarada has no such obligation preventing her from taking action at any point I mentioned, she chooses to stand back, chooses to be helpless, and chooses not to protect him when shes more than able to.

And no, Im not sayin she should flat out fight Mitsuki, but why the hell is her only effort just yelling 'Mitsuki! listen to me!' over and over? why not get in front of Boruto? why not punch the ground between them to split em up? hell why not even grab Mitsuki and hold him back? you don't have to outright fight somebody to still protect, nobody is saying she should haul off and start brawling with Mitsuki, but don't just stand there yellin 'listen to me!' when you know danm well he ain't gon listen and is attacking your friend right in front of you

So yea trying to use that panel to say she saved Boruto there is laughable because it literally proves the opposite, in that timeline nobody else arrived to help them, so it was up to Sarada herself to protect Boruto and she failed, I dunno how anybody took this as a W for her, this is literally one of her biggest Ls and none of yall should be celebrating it.

#manga spoilers #boruto manga #anti-bsa

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fandom-susceptible · 2 years ago

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Compressed timeline AU where the Hokages retire younger instead of mostly dying (Minato still kicks the bucket, sorry man, should have called Hashirama to deal with Kurama instead of trying to tackle it yourself) and you just have them wandering around the village when Naruto's growing up

Bonus points for Kakashi's mom being a Senju so he ends up adopted by Tobirama. Hashirama would have volunteered but he already has Tsunade and Yamato and Mito said they weren't taking any more.

Kagami Uchiha/Tobirama Senju is a thing and Madara's still pissed about it

Madara's homophobic repressed gay

Hashirama is a useless bisexual who's absolutely crushed that Madara "hates" him

Naruto and Sasuke had screaming matches at the academy about who was going to get to be taught by the Shodaime and were both *terribly* disappointed with Kakashi, until Kakashi took them to a family dinner and they realized Hashirama is very powerful but can't teach to save his life

Kagami used to be terrified of his cousin but by now he's just like *bitch, at least I had the guts to marry the guy who kicked my ass and made me fall in love with him, fuck off*

Tobirama and Madara fucking hate each other and will leave family dinners if the other is there

Sasuke fucking hates Tobirama and Kakashi by extension until Kagami sits him down and is like "Madara's an idiot let me tell you why" "he's our clan head!" "do I look like I give a fuck-"

Sakura low-key loves Tobirama's work but she pretends to hate him at first because Sasuke does. Tobirama never quite respects her for that but after the Character Development where she learns to do things for herself he might teach her a few things if Tsunade asks.

People still keep ripping off Tobirama's jutsu and forgetting he invented it and yes he's still salty about it

He and Orochimaru got along very well before Orochimaru left the village

Naruto was upset at first but later if Tobirama scolds Kakashi for reading Icha Icha when he's supposed to be teaching this 12 year old is 1000% ready to throw down with the Lord Second for being mildly disrespectful to Kakashi-sensei

Kakashi is mildly embarrassed. Tobirama is vaguely nonplussed. Kagami is laughing so hard he can't breathe.

Shisui still dies but Kagami finds out and grabs Itachi and he and Madara get a confession out of him and killing Danzou is the only thing Madara and Tobirama have ever agreed on. They hate it but Tobirama still tells Hashirama to shut up when Madara lights Danzou on fire. It goes a ways towards the younger Uchiha stopping calling him the White Demon of the Senju.

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cthulhu-with-a-fez · 10 months ago

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i started naruto a few years ago and made it to like the second arc in shippuden before stopping so i never made it to the kakashi backstory but....your notes compel me. tell me more.

okay so like take this with several grains of salt because the sum total of my sources here are "my understanding of the plot and characters as synthesized from the Abridged Revised Illustrated Edition my datemate's been writing me over the last two months", a handful of clips, and the only three (3) episodes of this 600+ episode show i've seen in my life, none of the three of which were relevant to the kakashi backstory

h o w e v e r

oh my god. my dude. my man. [holds him up like longcat] there is so much wrong with you and i'm enthralled.

so like here's the thing. here's the big takeaway that i'm understanding. this whole series is an ongoing exercise in generational trauma bullshit and everyone trying so hard to course-correct from their own tragic backstories that they accidentally set up their kids/students to have completely different but still somehow exactly the same tragic backstories, and naruto's chronic case of shounen anime power-of-friendship-itis is, i mean. yes it's him being the platonic ideal of Pure Of Heart And Dumb Of Ass but it's also a direct response to seeing ninja society's perpetual tragic backstory generator and going "this is bullshit, why are we even fighting? tell me what your side is, and i'll tell you what our side is, and then we can figure out how to make our sides the same side so none of us have to fight about it at all!" and honestly i love that but this ain't about him

so like. to explain kakashi we have to explain kakashi's father sakumo first. because sakumo was one of konoha's powerhouses, been on tons of successful missions, well-liked, well-respected, one of the earliest and loudest adopters of konoha's then-new and radical pivot towards a ninja being people first and disposable tools never ideology.

he really, genuinely believed in that.

except then he and his team went on a mission. and it went really, really badly. and he had to choose between completing the mission objective or saving his teammates' lives, and he chose their lives, because those who fail their missions may be scum, but those who abandon their teammates are worse, right?

... no, actually.

just because the ideology had been circulating and people were broadly toeing the party line didn't mean they actually believed in it, and sakumo's mission failure was already causing critical backlash.after sakumo made it back to konoha he was a fucking pariah for it. he was never officially reprimanded, but he didn't need to be if people went out of their way to personally spit at his feet, and... one day young kakashi comes home to find his father's body on the floor, wrists slit and suicide note devolving into begging apologies beside him.

this, as you may imagine, fucked him up, and didn't exactly predispose him towards believing the party line about the value of life.

he gets put on a genin team that was. basically the alpha build of the sasuke-sakura-naruto team dynamic. because it was him, and rin the healer girl with a massive crush on him who he never gave the time of day, and obito the Loudest High-Vis Uchiha Who Ever Lived who had a massive crush on her, and minato their teacher who was doing his absolute best to try and get them through to understanding each other, which is an Ordeal

because kakashi at this point has internalized that the party line is pretty lies for the gullible, that his teammates are only there to drag him down, and it drives obito nuts because that's the same exact bullshit that his family keeps spouting that he's rejected as thoroughly as a 12.9-year-old can, how does kakashi not see that it's bullshit? and there's rin who's looking at kakashi like i can fix him?? and getting upset when he doesn't let them in at all or even really visibly care that they're trying, and it's one hell of a dysfunction junction but minato is working on it.

... and then the worst happens. their team is caught out alone and everything goes wrong. rin is captured and obito's body is half-crushed under a rock and one of kakashi's eyes got slashed out and none of them are going to make it out of this, at this rate, until obito calls kakashi closer and tells him to take his eye. take the sharingan. he'd give him both but the other one got squished. kakashi will do more with it than obito ever did, so use it to save rin. please. and here's kakashi in the middle of field surgery on his dying teammate finally, horribly realizing that sometimes the win condition is, actually, protecting your friends, and he's already lost. but he can still try to save rin, it was obito's dying wish.

by the time he found her it was already too late.

the people who'd captured her had tried, poorly, hastily, messily, to seal one of the Tailed Beasts into her, and she was already dying. she had a demon thrashing in her soul that was tearing her to shreds around it and all kakashi could do was mercy kill her

and she thanked him for it.

and he goes back to konoha, sole survivor of his team, charred by the newfound comprehension of why you have to care and what it feels like to lose what you love and with obito's sharingan in his head and rin's blood on his hands and something in him that was already hanging on by a thread finally snapped.

and the only thing he could think to do, the only way he could even parse that grief through, is to just... make himself into a living memorial to them. he started trying to live as obito. adopt his mannerisms, his interests, craft his entire adult persona around his memories of his friend like a grave offering, and quarantine the bleakly mercenary anything-to-get-the-job-done ice in him off into the hound mask he wore as part of konoha's black ops division, which he joined at the ripe old age of way too fucking young.

he uses the sharingan to incredibly brutally efficient effect, copying enemy jutsus and bringing them back until the library's overflowing with them. but in the end, no matter how many he can technically use, they're still just cheap copies. and so is he.

and in the meantime the uchiha are collectively losing their shit about this random outside kid having one of their eyes in his head and getting all kinds of dubious 'glory' with it, and oh, wouldn't you look at that, they have a prodigy too!

... yeah.

itachi gets shoved through the rank advancements on a timeframe of "whatever he did you have to do it faster and better." and then the kyuubi broke free. and minato and kushina died, and a fuckton of the home guard uchiha died, and suddenly he's the most able-bodied fighter in their clan overnight at age 11 and the uchiha pull strings to get him into ANBU as well.

and kakashi is his teammate.

kakashi is his teammate and kakashi sees in itachi a whole awful lot of the edges of the way kakashi used to be, sees itachi trying to live up to and embody the absolutely impossible ideal of the perfect ninja, and he tries so god damn hard to nudge him gently towards something, anything, other than that.

but in the meantime, the uchiha have been... scheming. with danzo, Guy With The World's Biggest Chip On His Shoulder About Not Being Hokage, who's been marinating in a paranoia spiral for years. danzo had tried to set himself up as kakashi's palpatine, and tried to get him to assassinate hiruzen, and kakashi hears him out, and turns right around and goes to hiruzen with it instead, and danzo is pissed. the uchiha are pissed. danzo warns hiruzen that they're almost definitely going to try again and they're gonna make the uchihas' little prodigy do it this time, and kakashi silently braces to have to fight and maybe kill his teammate he was trying so hard for, and then...

and then itachi, who'd been watching his clan get. worse. for a long time. finds his cousin shisui, his best friend shishui, bleeding out in the dirt, who tells him everything, tells him danzo tried to have shisui killed for finding it out, and it worked, he's dying, but he's not dead yet, so please. make it count.

.......................................... And Then The Uchiha Massacre.

and now itachi is one more person that kakashi tried to care about who got destroyed.

and then fast forward a little bit further, he's been retired from active-duty ANBU after a decade-plus of service because the sharingan is starting to burn him out, he's starting to lurch to a halt like unwound clockwork without something to Do, and... he gets given team seven. the worst of konoha's gremlin children.

a bitter, disillusioned loner with a chip on his shoulder and the skill to back it up, the healer girl with a crush on him that he never gives the time of day, and the Loudest High-Vis Pest In The Village.

you see where this is going.

kakashi who at this point has been coasting along by bouncing between mask-personae for years is now having to dynamically engage with life again because if he isn't present and actively responding to his team then there's a nonzero chance he'll turn around to find all three of them chewing on the drywall and he cannot default to scripted responses because they don't work on a pack of middle schoolers hellbent on squabbling til the cows come home. and it's kind of good for him?

but also, uh. [gestures broadly towards... Sasuke(TM) and the rest of the plot]

and yeah i'm not gonna get too much further into it because i'm not confident enough in my own comprehension of the timeline to do that XD but like.

hatake kakashi is a scarecrow of a man stitched together out of his dead best friend, a hunting hound, and his dead best friend again, who's spent his entire life behind one mask or another, who over the course of the series keeps surviving shit that by all odds he shouldn't have, or survives specifically because the people he cares about throw their plot armor around him before they die, and he has a personality mostly composed of the crumpled-up pages of the memetically worst-written trashy bodice-ripper novels ever published because obito used to love them and the inexplicable receipts of other people's love for him, and i want to put him in a gas station hot dog roller and perceive him.

thank you for coming to my ted talk XD

#answered asks by cwaf #snorlaxlovesme #kakashi hatake #naruto #yeah so like this very much is a thirdhand synthesis Take on it XD but oh my god. holy shit #this series is a masterclass in what is quite possibly the oldest story beat humanity has ever had #which is 'growing up realizing that your adult is fucked up because Their Adult was fucked up because THEIR ADULT was fucked up'#'and responding to it by either becoming them; becoming as different from them as possible; or a secret third thing'#anyway here i am showing up to the weeb-ubiquitous kakashi stan phase 20 years late with starbucks lmao #mr from-accounting you have so many things wrong with you and i love that for me

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kingofanemptyworld · 26 days ago

Text

(I can’t draw to save my life and I have no patience to learn right now so take this picrew edit for now)

Wind Breaker OC

Name: Furuya Nozomi

Kanji: 希実, "hopeful truth" (Nozomi)

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: 17

School Year: Second

School: ??? (I’m so bad at place and school names for Japanese characters, forgive me for now)

Affiliation: Ketsueki to Hana (Blood and Flowers)

KtH is primarily known for protecting young girls/women from predatory men

Not an especially large group — only about ten to twelve members at any given time

Nozomi is the leader and took over from her predecessor only recently

They don’t generally advocate for weapons but they make use of them when necessary (anything they can get their hands on, really, but never anything with a blade)

Most of the girls are from Nozomi’s school but some are friends of friends, or middle schoolers who just want to feel safe with a group of older girls

Fashion: Bright colors and loose, flowy clothing. She has too many pairs of sneakers and keeps buying more to match different outfits. She wears the choker necklace Kazue bought her for her birthday at all times. Dyes her hair blue because it’s Kazue’s favorite color and Nozomi’s a sap.

Likes: Bad dramas, macha-flavored anything, Kazue’s pet rabbit

Dislikes: Older men (she doesn’t hate men outright, but she takes a long time to warm up to them and isn’t quick to trust anyone, period), cold weather, itchy clothing (she cuts all the tags off her clothes and refuses to wear wool)

School uniform: Sailor-style. Navy blue with white trim on the collar and hem of the shirt. Most of the girls wear shorts under their skirts and leggings/tights in winter. Nozomi hates the tie on hers but begrudgingly lets Kazue do it for her every morning at the school gates (not that the teachers are likely to say anything, but Kazue is a stickler for rules, whether it’s school or fashion, and she hates when Nozomi is underdressed).

KtH uniform: A black leather jacket with a cluster of begonias embroidered on the back. The begonias are white with blood dripping off the petals, giving them a half-white, half-red appearance.

Only uses polite speech around Kazue’s parents (and when Kazue asks nicely) — and only because they were the first people (aside from her cousin) to validate her relationship with Kazue, who told her that they were so grateful to her for bringing happiness into Kazue’s life rather than ruining her future prospects.

The girls’ high school is adjacent to Shishitoren’s territory and they used to get into fights with some of the rowdier members (prior to Sakura’s intervention and Togame and Choji turning over a new leaf).

Nozomi carries a ring of keys with her everywhere she goes. No key chains or accessories, just keys - one from each home she’s ever stayed in, each locker she’s ever kept, etc. Anything that’s required her to use her a key, she’s kept it (whether she was meant to or not). The key to her childhood home is the oldest and most worn down from her thumbing over it absentmindedly in a habit she’s never been able to kick. She was kicked out because of her sexual orientation when she was 12 and bounced around family members’ houses (and manga cafes, etc.) until she landed with her older cousin, Momoka, last year (which is now officially the place she’s stayed the longest). She’s famously broken a few noses with the key ring and likes to joke she prefers it to brass knuckles.

Nozomi and Kazue met a few weeks after Nozomi moved into Momoka’s apartment. Nozomi had yet to make any friends and walked home alone most of the time, unless Momoka was able to pick her up from school. The club she’d reluctantly joined ran late and Nozomi was unlucky enough to be by herself on a vacant street when she got cornered by two older teenage boys. She’d been toeing the line at that point because she was afraid Momoka would toss her out if she got into any fights, but then one of the boys got handsy and she’d slipped the key ring over her fingers—

When this tiny, glasses-wearing girl came out of nowhere and smacked the guy over the head with her messenger bag (with three hefty textbooks inside), sending him crashing into his friend and giving the girl the chance to grab Nozomi and run. Nozomi was too stunned by the intervention to protest and they didn’t stop until they were practically outside the girl’s well-lit home.

Turns out Kazue was more terrified by the experience than she was, but it hadn’t stopped her from coming to her rescue. Nozomi fell in love right then and there. They joined KtH at the same time, even though Nozomi insisted Kazue didn’t need to, Nozomi could protect them both. But Kazue just linked hands with her and promised they could keep protecting each other this way. They started dating the next day.

#king’s court #wind breaker #I caved and made an OC. I regret nothing #god knows if I’ll actually do anything with her but I have her girlfriend’s matching picrew so #if someone wants to point out that the group name is terrible in Japanese go ahead #or terrible in general #I couldn’t think of anything and I liked that it sounded like a bad drama name lmao #Nozomi’s fun though she’s got the personality of a lot of my old anime OCs #so it’s nostalgic #I like her a lot idk #also her surname’s Furuya because of. Daiya no ace #so do with that what you will #the club she joined is undetermined for now but I think it’d be funny if it was a sport #except there’s no way she’s balancing being a part of a vigilante girl group and a sports club #also take my messy notes I couldn’t make myself organize them any better

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shizuokadivision · 7 months ago

Note

It was late in the day when the Shizuoka Yakuza Boss, head of the Kito-gumi, and today’s birthday girl, Sakura Kito received yet another birthday gift. She was currently relaxing in the living room of her large mansion when one of her subordinates nervously came up to her holding an assortment of gifts, raising an eyebrow, the subordinate stuttered an explanation about how these gifts were from her and that they didn’t have a note or a card which in of itself was immediately a red flag, Sakura ordered the subordinate to open the gifts (she wasn’t scared, of course, but she figured she’d let the subordinate get caught in the potential crossfire than her). They did so dutifully and opened the first gift which revealed to be…

A couple of Cherry Blossom flower plushies

Opening the second gift revealed to be…

A Cherry Blossom bonsai tree

And finally, the last gift revealed to be…

A plate of Cherry Blossom themed mochi on a stick.

Confirming that the gifts were a danger, Sakura looked through all of them before looking back into the box and finding a card, pulling it out, she flipped it open and read the contents inside.

‘Uh, happy birthday, Sakura!

You probably don’t remember me (honestly it’d probably be better if you didn’t) but I wanted to thank you for quite literally saving my life that one time, this will probably be the last time we’ll see each other but I just wanted to show my gratitude after all this time. I hope you have a good day though! Kick back, relax, and enjoy the last day of spring!

— J.K.’

Happy Birthday Sakura! 🩷

“Oh, Joey sent you a few gifts!” Lucille exclaimed.

“Joey…that homicide detective from Kanazawa?” Sakura questioned wondering why the name sounded familiar outside of being a fellow contestant in the Division Rap Battles.

“I mean he's one nowadays but I used to go against him a lot back when he used to gamble. One of the few to come close to beating me.”

Then it hit Sakura where she remembered Joey from. A vision of a blond young teen hit her. She had saved him after he had beaten this group of men one too many times. They were not at all happy to lose to some snot-nosed brat. Sakura wasn't going to lie the only reason she stopped them was that she was pissed that they wanted to start shit on her territory and not out of the goodness of her own heart. Still, she was surprised he had given her a gift considering he was law enforcement and she was a yakuza boss. However, it seemed like once again her name was being used against her with all these cherry blossom-themed gifts. Picking one of the mochi up Sakura took a bite.

“Lucille, do me a favor?”

“Yeah, Boss?”

“If you ever see Joey again beat his ass in a game of poker for me.”

#hypnosis microphone #hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic oc #sakura kito #lucille takara #joey kurusu #theknightssecret #happy birthday sakura 2024

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oraclememehacker · 2 months ago

Text

Hallucinations

The clicking and clacking of keyboard typing could be heard throughout the cramped room of Futaba Sakura, current neet and virtual prisoner of her own home. Outside was scary, she didn't deserve to be seen. After all, everything that happened to her was her fault and she deserved the scorn, the mistreatment. Everything was deserved and this was her punishment.

"Nothing like always..." There was a defeated sigh escaping her lips as she closed a web browser and laid her head down on the table in front of her. She was still searching for anything that could help her find out the truth of what happened to her mom, but everything came to a dead end. So maybe it really was her fault, that's what she was continually thinking anyways.

Any other thoughts that she might have had were dashed into the ether as she heard a few rhythmic knocks on the door. Must have been Sojiro with the curry. That's the only reason why he did that particular knock. Going over to the door, she opened it and grabbed the plate, pulling it in with great haste.

"Futaba, I know you've gone through a lot, but I just want to talk to you. Please, let me help--" He would find the door closed on him before he could finish his sentence and just breathed a heavy, defeated sigh. "You. Just put the dishes out on the floor when you're done."

This girl was going to kill him, and it took every ounce of his strength just to take care of her. It was the only connection to Wakaba that he had left, his guilt for not helping her attached directly to the teen who was house ridden through no fault of her own. Well, that was just how life was unfortunately. He made his leave, as she sat the curry down on the table.

She then went to peek out of the curtain, looking as Sojiro headed out of the house. He was probably heading to the cafe, his safe space, and his solace. As much as she appreciated him saving her from her abusive relatives, she couldn't trust him. She couldn't trust anyone. If anyone hurt her again it would be too much.

The whole room was silent once again, aside from the noise coming from her computer. But then she heard a voice coming out of seemingly nowhere. "it's all your fault..." It was a harsh whisper, coming out of the ether that made her skin crawl and her to turn around harshly. "W-Who was that?!"

Of course, there was nobody there, as to be expected. Maybe she just heard something outside and assumed it was her being talked to? She was feeling just a tad paranoid now as she sat in her chair once again, starting to eat her curry. That was, until she heard that voice again. "you killed me you brat"

When she turned around, there was her mom, Wakaba. Why was she here?! It was impossible, there was no way. "I wish you were never born!" Futaba's heart rate was through the roof, breathing labored and heavy as she sat there, eyes wide open and shaking like a leaf. Nothing but a few whimpers and whines escaped her lips, sounding utterly pathetic.

Man, she was truly and utterly pathetic, just watching and hearing as her mother irated her for a few seconds. She had to rub her eyes. She must have been seeing things. Too bad she was in the midst of a panic attack now, truly feeling like she wanted to die. The food was no longer appealing to her, just making her nauseous more than anything.

She just grabbed an energy drink from the minifridge and drank it with great haste. Was this a hallucination? Whatever it was, it freaked her out and all she could do was deal with the resulting panic attack on her own. Truly she was on her own, nobody could help her through what she was going through. This is what she deserved after all.

What she didn't realize at the time was that this was just the beginning of her seeing hallucinations. Was it because of her poor mental health? Was it because of the copious amounts of energy drinks she consumed? Whatever it was, it was just going to keep getting worse as time went on, her mental health deteriorating faster and faster...

#Hacking and Memes (Futaba Sakura Musing)#The Oracle Navi (Futaba Sakura IC)#The Reclusive Shut in Nerd (Pre-Persona 5: Hikikimori Days)#Short Stories (Drabbles)#long post

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sealofreconciliation · 1 year ago

Text

Excelblem doesn't understand Conquest's story

Link to video here.

Let's get the preamble out of the way:

Unlike my other responses, i have no reason to believe that Excel would have any reasonable way of knowing about the smaller translation differences in Fates, so whenever he criticizes something about the game's story i'll only defend it in regards to it's localized script; even if one of his criticisms is valid in EN but invalid in JP, i'll still give him the point in full, even if i bring up the differences anyway just to give whoever can be bothered reading this some context.

I will not accept “he's just joking!!” as an excuse for the issues with his points when most of his arguments against the story are just him criticizing it and the characters in a snarky manner, i'm already skipping over points i genuinely believe to be exaggerated satire, and the video would lose most of it's value if every single argument was dismissed as meaningless nonsense.

I will be transcribing his arguments and pointing out what chapter the video's on whenever i get to a criticism i disagree with; he put timestamps for every chapter in the game on the video itself, so if anyone wants to fact-check me and see if i'm not misrepresenting what he says, y'all can just go to the timestamp there and hear it for yourselves.

Now, onto the main course:

Chapter 1

Then we are introduced to all of the Nohrian royals: Xander who has good stats, Camilla whose assets make her a fan favorite, Leo who exists primarily to ensure that Corrin never has to do anything morally dubious, and Elise, who is technically an adult in the english translation to cover Intelligent Systems' ass.

I'll respond to the Leo point in full when Excel presents his evidence for that claim in later chapters, but the Elise point is both bad-faith and ignorant; If we assume that the Nohrian and Hoshidan sibling counterparts are even vaguely similar to each other in age, Elise is bordering on adulthood even in JP since she's 15 at the absolute youngest, very likely older given how Sumeragi would probably have waited until Sakura was at least a few years old before bringing her to the peace talks 15 years prior to the start of Fates (as stated by the second artbook). I fail to see why an adult being naive, innocent and acting childishly causes so many people to assume they actually are a child, or why Excel is trying to frame this line as if it was Treehouse trying to change Elise into an adult instead of them just confirming that she's a few years older than 15.

Edit: i was informed that Elise claims in her support with Azura that she was only born after the latter was kidnapped, which would put her at 15 years old at oldest instead of youngest, according to the artbook statement; genuine mistake on my part, but even then, 1-) i was never very fond of the statement due to it being written 4 years after the game came out and by a completely different writer that could very well have had no involvement with the original story, and have only grown to have more issues with it since, to the point of no longer standing by it as valid info, and 2-) it's still his burden to prove that JP!Elise is underage just because she's short and childish without using the artbook, since he never brings it up in the video.

Chapter 2

Corrin refuses to actually kill them, making daddy very mad, but to stop the situation from escalating further, Leo uses golden experience to pretend to execute the prisoners to preserve Corrin's moral purity;

That's a funny way of saying “to stop Corrin from being executed for disobedience”; Corrin was never going to be willing to actually kill the prisoners at that point in the story and would have gladly died a pointless death trying to save them. Leo didn't do shit to preserve Corrin's morality in this instance, only to preserve their life; their morals would have stayed squicky-clean regardless of Leo intervening, they just wouldn't have been worth much when they would have been killed shortly after rebelling.

the prisoners Rinkah and Kaze are released back into the wild because they have unique portraits.

And because they were canonically the only Hoshidan prisoners in the castle; this point only works if it's supposed to be referring to the fodder Hoshidan soldiers Corrin kills earlier during gameplay and pointing out how weird it is for Rinkah and Kaze to have been spared but not them, something that conveniently ignores the fact that they don't show up at all in the pre- and post-battle cutscenes and are never acknowledged by anyone on either side of the battle, not even during gameplay proper, pretty heavily implying that they were only put into the chapter to spice up the map design, not to imply that there were a half-dozen fodder who no one points out the existence of.

This is apparently only a good thing and will never backfire because merely being seen alive will be solid proof of treason or insubordination.

Firstly, both Leo and Xander state that they think this is overly soft-hearted for Corrin to do, that they should have followed Garon's orders instead of risking getting into trouble just to spare some random no-name soldiers, and that they only did so as a favor to Corrin:

Corrin: Leo, your spell…

Leo: Was only enough to weaken them, yes. I should have followed Father’s orders. But Camilla and Elise always make such a fuss when I do anything to upset you.

Xander: Listen well. It is only my brother’s kind heart that has bought your freedom. Disappear now, lest you be spotted by our king.

Secondly, the burden is on Excel to prove that Garon both told everyone in Nohr about two random soldiers the Nohrian army captured during a skirmish and gave them detailed descriptions of what they looked like despite fully intending on having them killed soon after taking them prisoner; even if he could do that, the fact that Kaze defects to Nohr and Garon evidently doesn't care about him being alive debunks that point anyway, due to it being walking proof that Garon doesn't care enough about Corrin and Leo having spared some random fodder months ago to punish them for it.

Chapter 3

Corrin gets sent into a death trap as punishment for the events of the previous chapter, a chapter premise that will be repeated so many times it defies explanation.

What the fuck is Excel talking about?! Chapter 8 is the only time in all of Conquest where the premise of “send Corrin into an intentional death trap in the hopes that they'll get killed, all because of what they did in the previous chapter” gets reused, and that comes with the obvious explanation that Garon and Iago still don't trust Corrin at that point and are trying to get rid of them; the only other instances that even vaguely resemble that premise are Chapters 12, 21 and 25, all of which fall apart under scrutiny due to Garon and Iago fully expecting and wanting Corrin to surpass the challenges they're sending their way in all those instances and the challenges having nothing to do with what Corrin did or didn't do in the previous chapter. Did he even read Conquest's script before writing this section?!

Shortly after is he yeeted into the bottomless canyon by his own sword but as it turns out Lilith, one of his maids and apparently a bird he saved at the barn because Corrin is homeschooled and is incapable of identifying common animals who also happens to be his biological sister by means of a shared parentage with an evil dragon not appearing in this route,

Firstly, young children are incredibly stupid; i guarantee that a five-year old who'd never seen a bird in their life and only heard of them without being given explicit descriptions would absolutely mistake Lilith's dragon form for a weird species of bird.

Secondly, Anankos appears in every route of Fates, especially Conquest and Revelation; just because he doesn't show up personally doesn't mean he isn't projecting his desires and personality onto Garon everytime he's on-screen, which he is, since he's the one getting all excited at the prospect of breaking Corrin and turning them into his vessel.

Chapter 5

For completely unrelated reasons the divine blade Yato appears and throws itself into Corrin's hands seemingly out of nowhere, marking him as a hero of legend who will bring peace to all of-uh, does the setting-wait wait hold on a second does the setting have a name? Oh apparently it doesn't. Anyway uh-marking him as the hero of legend who will bring peace to all of Fateslandia.

Nohr and Hoshido is the name of the setting; their landmasses combined account for the entirety of the non-Valla section of the world and the smaller tribes all occupy miniscule amounts of territories in comparison. Obviously the two countries that have been stuck in a forever war aren't going to come together and decide on what the name for the combined continent in case the two of them decide to join forces is going to be; that's asinine, and even if anyone needs to name the continent as a single thing out-of-universe, they can just call it Nohrshido.

Chapter 7

The Nohrian royal siblings employ the powerful “surely he can't kill us all” tactic to convince Garon to not kill Corrin; Garon concedes the point but decides to switch gears and resolves to put Corrin into moral quandaries in which he has no agency because he will always be bailed out at last minute by convenient circumstance.

Firstly, Corrin not having any agency is the point; they're being forced into ridiculously evil and cruel ultimatums where their only choice is to either do something bad or die, which by necessity means they don't have any agency or meaningful choice in the matter.

Secondly, neither of those suicides happened by “convenient circumstance”; i know he's surprisingly incompetent at remembering what actually happens in the story despite dedicating large portions of this video to covering it, but both the Sage and especially Ryoma only kill themselves as a direct result of Corrin convincing them of their hopes for the world through their words and actions, not convenience.

Chapter 9

Upon completing the map i find it safe to assume that all of the castle's inhabitants are non-lethally suppressed, but nobody cares anyway since none of them had unique portraits.

Nobody cares because that rogue section of Hoshido's army was too powerful for Corrin's group to risk dealing with non-lethally and had to all be wiped out, much like the vast majority of the chapters in Conquest.

Chapter 10

Upon successfully defending the port Corrin allows Takumi and his soldiers to walk away because he has once again somehow managed to avoid killing even a single person

Where in the actual fuck is he getting the idea that Corrin's army didn't kill anyone in Chapter 10 of Conquest from?! The closest anyone ever implies to that being the case is Takumi saying that too many of his soldiers are too injured to keep fighting, but that doesn't in any way imply that no one died during the battle or that the soldiers that are injured aren't just the remaining ones after a bunch of the main army died; Corrin never tells Beruka, Selena and Camilla to try and spare the people they're currently fighting, much like they don't tell Nyx or Azura in Chapter 9, a chapter where we know for a near-fact that Corrin's group murdered all the Hoshidan soldiers in the fort, making it very likely that they were also killing a bunch of Takumi's soldiers during the port and a few of them got lucky enough to be disabled instead of killed.

Chapter 11 is uneventful outside of Excel repeating his “muh Corrin's moral purity” point after what happens with the Rainbow Sage, but it'd be a waste of post space to respond to the same criticism with the same debunk from 6 paragraphs ago, so onto a part of the video that'll be actually interesting to tear apart:

Chapter 12

In chapter 12 of this Conquest ironman we must escape or defeat Ryoma within 16 turns because we need to get medicine for Elise who has coincidentally fallen ill from a tropical disease that will soon kill her, that can coincidentally only be treated with Hoshidan herbs, that coincidentally can also be found at the Nohrian town of Macarath, where Corrin has coincidentally simultaneously been given orders to travel to as part of a convoluted trap, that coincidentally only works if all of the previous statements are true, otherwise this conflict simply does not materialize as Corrin will not need to fight Ryoma to save his sister.

Oh boy:

Excel has no proof that Elise got sick by pure coincidence; the closest the game gets to implying as such is Azura theorizing that she might have gotten infected in Notre Sagesse and Sakura theorizing that Takumi got the same disease from fighting the wolfskin in chapter 16 of BR, both of which are completely baseless assumptions made by two characters who are desperate to come up with some sort of answer as to why their ally fell deathly ill out of nowhere, with neither of them having any proof for their claims. The fact that Iago confirms that he's the one who told Ryoma where Corrin was going to be just proves that he's the one who made Elise and Takumi sick in the first place; Excel failing to understand the basic-bitch red herring of “have a bunch of seemingly coincidental stuff happen for the premise of a chapter, only to reveal that it actually happened because one of the main villains set all of it up” isn't chapter 12 being convoluted, it's him proving my point that his reading comprehension is phenomenally terrible.

that can coincidentally only be treated with Hoshidan herbs, that coincidentally can also be found at the Nohrian town of Macarath,

I can concede to the disease only being reasonably fixable on Macarath being convoluted, but only if Excel bites an ungodly large bullet and also argues that every single instance in fiction where someone has a problem they can only solve by going to one location that just so happens to be specialized to deal with said problem is also notably convoluted, otherwise these criticisms are horseshit; it's perfectly logical and consistent for Nohr to have at least one hospital with Hoshidan medicinal ingredients in it just in case one of their soldiers have injuries that can only be treated with said ingredients.

where Corrin has coincidentally simultaneously been given orders to travel to as part of a convoluted trap,

Again, Corrin going to Macarath and being forced to fight Ryoma because there's nowhere else they can go to to save Elise was all part of Iago's plan; the orders were given just to make sure Corrin knew where to go in case the rest of their army didn't know about Macarath or the disease, not by coincidence. Furthermore, what part of Iago's trap is convoluted? He gave Elise an illness that can only be solved by one hospital in Nohrian land, warned Ryoma that Corrin and their group would be spending a whole lot of time there and would be vulnerable to being ambushed, and had Garon order Corrin to also go there just in case they didn't know about Macarath, forcing them to fight and potentially kill Ryoma; every part of that plan is perfectly logical and within Iago's knowledge and capabilities, and i'd even argue it's a pretty simple plan overall.

that coincidentally only works if all of the previous statements are true, otherwise this conflict simply does not materialize as Corrin will not need to fight Ryoma to save his sister.

Iago's plan would have very likely worked regardless of any of the steps he mentioned; forcing Corrin to fight by poisoning Elise in such a way that there's only one place they can go to to save her is a smart guarantee, but the basic plan of “have Corrin fight Ryoma by warning Ryoma of where their next location is going to be and having Corrin sent there under orders from Garon” would have worked almost anywhere else in Nohr, if not having been more unreliable due to the lack of a guarantee that Corrin would fight Ryoma instead of retreating, which itself would still be very unlikely when a fighting retreat would be significantly more dangerous than standing their ground.

Oh right, i almost forgot to mention, no one died.

Well, at least he has more of a basis for this than in Chapters 9 and 10, if only because Corrin does order Peri and Laslow to try and avoid killing the Hoshidan soldiers if at all possible, but it's his claim that no one died that i take issue with; that's never stated or implied by anyone in the story, and Peri and Laslow trying to spare people if possible does not mean they succeed at it 100% of the time, let alone the rest of the army.

Chapter 14

The performance begins and the singer, whose disguise is so flimsy that a child could see through it, sings a magical song that causes king Garon to groan in increasing discomfort. Unfortunately, traumatic brain injury induced prosopagnosia runs in the Nohrian royal family, meaning that nobody knows that the singer is actually Azura.

How would they? Look at how far away they are from the stage, especially when they don't have telescopes or any way of getting a close-up on Azura; she'd just look like a dark and blue blob to anyone watching the performance, especially when she's deliberately dancing and singing in a completely different way than normal, is covering the stage with water, there's plenty of people in Nohrshido with long blue hair, and there's nothing in the game to imply that the royals have super-vision because of their dragon blood. I still don't get how this criticism became so widespread when thinking about it from the POV of the characters debunks it so easily.

He then repeats this criticism but with Garon not recognizing Azura instead, so moving onto a more interesting point (again):

he asks for all the singers in the city to be killed and for Corrin to do it. Fortunately, just like every other time Garon orders some cruel duty to perform, he loses interest in the enforcement of his orders almost immediately, just like a baby who lacks object permanence.

What? Garon doesn't lose interest in having Corrin enforce his orders, he just has a short argument with them where he explains why he's giving them said orders before Leo saves them from blowing their cover by convincing Garon that they're too exhausted to do that immediately and need a bit of rest; giving someone who just fought in a battle a couple of minutes to recover their strength is hardly “losing interest in the enforcement of his orders”, especially when Corrin and Leo's plan hinges on them intentionally searching for dancers in unlikely places and lying to Garon about having killed some of them, meaning Corrin started pretending to follow Garon's orders as soon as the convo ended. I genuinely suspect Excel didn't read the script properly before putting this in, both due to him just being factually wrong about Corrin not following Garon's orders and especially because he immediately afterwards adds “Corrin is whisked away by Leo” as if it was an entirely separate incident that came after Garon had already let them off the hook instead of being the reason it happens and, as such, something that should have been put in this paragraph instead of the next.

Also, at what point in Conquest does Garon not care about making sure that Corrin performs some cruel duty he ordered them to do? Chapter 24's the only time in the game where he doesn't make sure that Corrin's doing what he told them to, and that instance is perfectly justified due to him being busy leading his section of the army in a separate battle; i guess 8, 11, 14 and 25 could also count depending on how generous you want to be to Excel, but those instances also don't hold up to scrutiny. Sure, he forgives them for disobeying his order to deal with the Ice Tribe alone, but only because he changed his mind on what to do with them after finding out how powerful they were and wanting them to become Anankos' vessel, i already explained why his argument for Chapter 14 being an example was bs, and in both 11 and 25 his only goal with giving them cruel orders was to fuck with their mental state by having them kill someone they care about, something that's accomplished just as well by said people killing themselves instead and having Corrin blame themselves for it.

Leo whisks Corrin away and reveals that he plans to save the singers; that's all the Nohrian royals secretly plot to keep Garon in check, and says that he's not some kind of hero for doing this, prompting his magical tome, the one marking him as a legendary hero of Nohr who was prophesized by the Rainbow Sage to join forces with the wielder of the legendary blade Yato, to bring peace to all fateslandia. Yeah, this is a little on the nose, don't you think?

Firstly, and this isn't an actual response to the point being made and moreso something i wanted to point out for anyone reading this, since i already clarified i wouldn't be using the og script as a defense, Leo doesn't say that in JP (source is fateswartable):

Leo: …I work in my own way. That’s all.

Secondly, i'd love to get a source for the royal siblings' legendary weapons marking them as heroes; the weapons are literally just sentient beings that choose whoever they deem to be worthy as their wielder and were created by the Rainbow Sage in order to give humans the firepower to defeat the ancient dragons and put an end to their war, also happening to power up the Yato if the wielders of the two resonate with each other strongly enough. The Yato is the only legendary weapon in Fates whose goal is to bring peace to the world and, as such, marks whoever wields it as a hero; anyone of any moral caliber could have picked up the other legendary weapons if they were strong enough to do so and the weapons took a liking to them, with them just so happening to pick people that were both worthy and had a close relationship with the wielder of the Yato that time around by coincidence, not because they were heroes.

Thirdly and lastly, even if i were to concede in full, for the sake of the argument, that Leo having the Byrnhildr made him a hero and that was the point of the scene, what's wrong with it? It's a good joke; Leo claiming he's not a hero only to be immediately proven wrong by his personal weapon helping the weapon destined to bring peace to the world power up is a good bait-and-switch, not something that's “on the nose”.

Chapter 15

This mysterious land is populated by invisible ghosts and also, somehow, Gunter, who has not died of starvation off-screen like he probably does in the Birthright route

Gunter doesn't die in Conquest because Azura finds him and gives him advice on how to survive in Valla, unlike in BR and Rev where he either dies or gets possessed before the two can even meet, something Azura explicitly says in this very chapter.

Plus, and this is again somewhat of a nitpick, can Excel prove that Gunter dies, let alone due to starvation specifically, in BR? Wouldn't it be much more reasonable for him to have either gotten himself killed fighting Vallite troops or to have been captured and brainwashed like in Rev?

Corrin jumps off of a cliff to leave Valla whose existence must be kept a secret because of a curse that kills you for talking about it, unless you pay 20 dollars to buy the DLC for the Revelation route

Excel keeps trying to pretend throughout the video that Rev has extremely important information hidden behind a paywall, but it really doesn't; the most important thing revealed there is that Anankos is the one instigating the war, which boils down to giving the demon Azura keeps referring to in CQ a name. Every other plot thread throughout CQ is explained and resolved by the end just as well, if not better, than in Rev, so i really don't get why he decided to fixate on CQ foreshadowing Rev as one of his major criticisms throughout the video.

Then, in one of the stupidest plot points of the entire franchise, Azura comes up with a genius plan of exposing Garon's true form by conquering all of Hoshido to get the false king to sit on a special chair.

And here i thought i was going to have to go in-depth when i got to this part; seriously, i'm still surprised Excel practically skipped over this scene. It's much more important to the story and characters than Lilith's death, yet he puts significantly more effort into deconstructing the irrelevant death scene of an equally-irrelevant side character than to deconstructing the entire reason the story plays out the way it does from the halfway-point onwards, being content to just explain what happens in the scene, call it stupid, refuse to elaborate further, and leave; what the hell are these priorities?

Chapter 17

Corrin's forces non-lethally defeat several squads of Hoshido ninjas before it is discovered that Kotaro has dared to take a captive; the horrifying audacity of such a dishonorable action is enough to convince Corrin to murder Kotaro and slaughter his entire clan down to the last man.

The second half of that sentence is just Excel being a rat; Corrin asks Kotaro to release his hostages, Xander escalates the situation by threatening him with violence once he refuses, and then Kotaro starts a fight with the group and gets himself killed. Trying to portray the battle as starting just because Corrin didn't like Kotaro taking a hostage is ridiculously disingenuous.

The story unfortunately has the audacity to once again rub Corrin's moral high ground in our faces by telling us how they didn't kill any Hoshidan soldiers; i assume that the credit for the deaths of Kotaro and his forces was intentionally left vague.

Excel's argument that Corrin and their forces not killing any Hoshidan soldiers was done to give Corrin the moral high ground is asinine; it's much more likely to have been included so Saizo being buddy-buddy with Corrin and Kaze during the end of the chapter made more sense and to maintain consistency with previous chapters, where they did the same thing but to more and better-armed platoons instead of a bunch of half-dead soldiers, especially when Corrin canonically kills Hoshidan soldiers in every chapter of Conquest from this point onwards and in most chapters prior.

Also, what the fuck is he talking about with “i assume that the credit for the deaths of Kotaro and his forces was intentionally left vague”? i find it incredibly difficult for this line to mean anything other than giving Corrin significant credit for the death of Kotaro:

Saizo: You also helped me to finally avenge my father's death.

Even if we were to argue that it still leaves room for interpretation on who personally killed Kotaro, the only reasonable interpretations of that line are that Corrin or someone in their group killed Kotaro, at which point that's the game giving them direct credit for his death, or that Saizo did it instead, at which point that's the game giving them credit for killing dozens of enemy soldiers in order to give Saizo the opportunity to deal with Kotaro; unless Excel's unironically trying to argue that Saizo soloed Kotaro and his army while Corrin did nothing to help (while conveniently ignoring the line that explicitly states otherwise), this argument is idiotic.

Lastly, why would Corrin killing Kotaro and his forces be morally bad for them to do, to the point of sullying their supposed “moral high ground”? Kotaro attacked them first and (practically) unprovoked and had every intention of killing them; how is blatant self-defense supposed to be a mark against their morality? The only way this could possibly work as a gotcha is if Excel's trying to argue that Conquest only ever portrays murder as an exclusively bad thing, something easily debunked by pointing out that chapters 18 and 26 exist.

Chapter 18

Xander and Ryoma have a cat fight over who is actually Corrin's non-blood-related big brother, but this is interrupted by Izana, who has actually been replaced and impersonated by the illusion wizard Zola, who uses this opportunity to capture the unarmed Hoshidans and try to execute them to win the war instantly and gain favor with king Garon; Xander and Corrin disagree with this treachery and decide to stop Zola which, if nothing else, is at least consistent with the previous chapters.

Excel has no basis for his claim that Zola killing the Royal siblings would have ended the war instantly; the Hoshidan army in BR is fully aware that the siblings all went on what could have very well been a suicide mission to assassinate Garon, leaving it to fend for itself, and still fights to the bitter end to protect it's home, even as it's pushed back to the throne room and on the brink of losing the war. Zola going through with his plan would, at best, have left Hoshido without a royal family while the rest of the game went on completely unchanged and, at worst, enraged the Hoshidan soldiers to the point of them refusing to surrender, leading to significantly more casualties than in canon.

Upon the map's completion Zola is cornered and begs for his life, but Leo executes him so Corrin doesn't have to.

Corrin wouldn't have executed Zola at all; they were about to let him leave prior to Leo killing him. Leo saying verbatim that “i did it so you wouldn't have to” is just a weird and stupid line given how he knows that Corrin was about to let Zola go and wouldn't have agreed to execute him even if Leo had explained to them why he should be killed, meaning that Corrin killing Zola was never a possibility in the first place; while this doesn't fix the EN version of the line being dumb, since i agreed to only use that version of the script when responding to the video, it's worth noting that that convo goes pretty differently in JP:

Kamui: L- Leon…? You didn’t- have to kill… Leon: Why not? Big sis Kamui. If we kept that guy alive, what would happen if Father found out we helped Hoshido nobility?

Leo doesn't in any way phrase what happened as him taking the moral responsibility of executing a defenseless enemy away from Corrin and into himself in JP, only explaining why Zola needed to die after a shocked Corrin questions why he did that; it's actually weirdly-consistent, given what happens with Iago later on in CQ, for Treehouse to take scenes that originally only served to showcase Leo's ruthlessness and willingness to kill even defenseless people with little to no remorse on his part and change them into Leo being just as disturbed as Corrin at the prospect of executing defenseless enemies but doing it anyway in order to spare Corrin's conscience. Again, not a point against the video, just something i felt like pointing out.

Corrin takes this opportunity to ponder about another world where everyone gets along; they're trying to get you to buy the 20 dollar Revelation route dlc.

Corrin explicitly states that their dream is to have everyone on both sides of the royal family survive the war and make peace with each other after it ends, a dream that bears no correlation to convincing the royal families to unite against Anankos in order to put an end to the war before it even properly starts and ensuring cooperation in the process. Unless Excel is going to bite the bullet and argue that the basic concept of “Corrin wants both royal families to survive and be on good terms after a conflict is over” is a Rev reference in and of itself, something i know he won't do because Corrin has expressed that desire multiple times in the prior chapters but he never commented on those instances, this point is idiotic.

After a yet-again uneventful Chapter 19 synopsis (outside of Excel claiming *again* that Corrin doesn't kill people through most of Conquest, but i'm not wasting significant post space on something i've debunked thrice already), we get to:

Chapter 20

Fuga dusts off his non-lethal wounds and non-lethally tells Corrin to do whatever he wants, because the story and every other character will bend over backwards to justify his actions.

I wasn't aware that Fuga confirming that the Yato didn't make a mistake by choosing Corrin as it's wielder, meaning the path they're currently on is indeed destined to save the world and they should keep following it, was actually him telling them to do whatever they want; i need to check out Excel's personalized copy of Conquest, that seems like it does a crazy amount of changes to the story.

More seriously, Fuga, Azura, and maybe the Hoshidan royals are the only characters to try and justify Corrin's actions in all of CQ, and i still don't really get how “the story” is supposed to be reaching to try and justify their actions; Corrin's actions are inherently just due to the context of the story and what it means for the Yato to choose someone as it's wielder, and the scene at the end of chapter 20 is just reaffirming that.

Chapter 21

Iago laments that Corrin has apparently suffered zero casualties which will, uh- come on, look, 16 dead characters, and the game doesn't even acknowledge it.

I'll give him this point because we're both using the english version of the script, but just for clarity's sake, this is an issue with the localization of the game, not the game itself:

Iago: …Hmph…Lady Kamui seems to have passed through the Wind Clan village. I thought she would’ve lost a hand or foot or two by this point, but there’s nothing interesting in this. The stairway is a dangerous place said to lead straight to hell…How many of your comrades will disappear? I’m looking forward to it.

Iago never states anywhere in JP that Corrin and everyone in their group made it through the Wind Tribe village alive, only that Corrin and *only* Corrin made it past unharmed; they could have lost as many people due to the player's ineptitude as it was possible to and the statement would still be perfectly valid.

and for some bizarre reason the Hoshidan defenders have already all been killed and replaced by Iago's faceless.

I wonder why the Faceless, a bunch of mindless brutes under orders from Iago, wouldn't get along well with Hoshidan soldiers and had to kill them all in in order to set up an ambush, or why Iago would ever think that sending a near-endless amount of Faceless Corrin's way would be more likely to result in one of their comrades dying than a small platoon of fodder Hoshidan soldiers; truly a mystery for the ages.

No cap, this might just be the stupidest point in the video so far; how in the fuck did Excel not realize how much of an idiot he'd have to be to say “it's bizarre that the Faceless killed the Hoshidan soldiers occupying the stairway in order to set up their ambush” despite knowing full well that the two factions aren't on friendly terms?! How did this both make it into the final draft and get recorded without him realizing how stupid that claim was to anyone with two brain-cells to rub together?!

And despite this tragic incident being caused by a need to hurry up and escape, Xander and Corrin somehow find the time to sit in place and have a roughly 500 word conversation mourning Corrin's astral plane dragon-sister-made-landlord, and this is extremely understandable, because i for one am extremely emotionally invested in this character who in this route has had a total of two appearances.

I'll give Excel Lilith's lack of screentime, but the “look at how long they spend talking and standing still despite being in a rush to run away from the Faceless” criticism is just another example of him being a dimwit; here's the part of that scene he oh-so-conveniently decided to skip over:

Azura: Yes, thanks to Xander's incomparable skill, we somehow made it out alive. We're sorry to have kept you waiting.

Unless Xander's secretly really skilled at running away from fights, the only reasonable interpretation of that statement is that he killed all the Faceless already and, as such, they have all the time in the world to grieve over Lilith; going back to college and getting some classes in basic reading comprehension before writing the script would have done this video wonders, methinks.

Shigure's Paralogue

We find ourselves suddenly on a boat, in a scene jarringly disconnected from any part of the main story

No shit, Sherlock; they quite literally travelled to a different dimension while on R&R from the war in order to pay Shigure a visit. How is something like that supposed to connect to the main story when the entire point of the scene is that they're taking a break from the main story?

At the end of the map it is revealed that all of Shigure's friends are dead, but that's okay, because they didn't have names and he can now be drafted into her army as a child soldier.

Firstly, prove that Shigure's underage; secondly, i dunno why he's exposing himself as never having read Shigure's supports. He could have just left that part out of the script and not made himself look like a clown by implying that the story doesn't care about Shigure's dead friends and family despite multiple of his supports being centered around his grief at losing them.

Nina and Midori's paralogues

Somehow, in the midst of invading a foreign country, Silas has found a way to resurrect himself from the dead to protect some old man's funko pop collection.

(Later…)

Nina finds herself intrigued by the interactions between Niles and Silas, the latter of which is, in fact, dead.

The paralogue melancholically ends with Midori hallucinating a conversation with her father's ghost.

I'm surprised Excel never realized that Silas and Kaze have plot armor and them losing all their HP causes them to be crippled and incapable of fighting again, not die; i'd have expected someone on his twitch chat to inform him of that fact, or at least for him to find out himself after double-checking Silas and Kaze's defeat quotes, if he evidently thought the two of them showing up despite being “dead” was weird enough to warrant making basically the exact same joke about it thrice.

Chapter 23

Conflict is brewing in the Nohrian army and two factions have formed: one half that is loyal to king Garon, for some reason, and the other half that is loyal to Xander, for some other unspecified reason.

Goddamn, was Excel really in such a rush to pop this video out asap?

Azura: …You should know that Garon's men don't agree with our choice to keep them alive. We should keep close watch on them, or I shudder to think what might happen.

Azura is all but spelling out that the reason the Nohrian army's loyalty is split between Garon and Corrin is that the former half wants to kill every Hoshidan soldier they see without taking prisoners, even if they're surrendering, while the latter half wants only to kill as many people as needed to conquer the country and are willing to spare surrendering soldiers; How did he miss something this obvious?!

Chapter 24

In chapter 24 of this Conquest ironman the Nohrian army enters the Hoshidan capital and starts committing some atrocities; addressing these unwarranted acts of brutality, the wise prince Xander bows his head and solemnly says to Corrin there's actually zero difference between good and bad things, you imbecile you.

This just beat the “the Faceless killing Hoshidan soldiers is bizarre” claim as the biggest showcase of ineptitude in the video; Xander's point is that absolute justice doesn't exist and that bad actions can lead to good outcomes and vice versa, therefore they shouldn't risk dooming the world by trying to stop the slaughter and likely getting themselves pointlessly killed in the process; the bad and stupid part of that speech is Xander saying that they shouldn't let evil men's visions take precedence over their own, even as he's letting an evil man's vision take precedence over his own, but that's not even a point i can give to Excel, since he just takes the lazy way out and strawmans the fuck out of that speech instead of properly criticizing what's wrong with it.

Chapter 26

In the following cutscene Leo kills Iago so Corrin doesn't have to, a reocurring theme already well established by this point.

I'll give him this point in EN, if only because Corrin explicitly thanking Leo for killing Iago for them is pretty irrefutable evidence, but for clarity's sake, that is not what Corrin says in JP:

Corrin: Leon… I’ve caused you trouble.

The only thing that line means is Corrin apologizing to Leo for pushing him into killing a defenseless person again, this time due to a fight they're directly responsible for starting due to sparing Hinoka; nowhere in that scene is it implied Corrin wouldn't have just killed Iago themselves, other than their hesitating to do so after he begs for his life, a hesitation that lasts all of a few seconds before Leo barges in and killsteals them, giving them no time to go through with it themselves.

Chapter 27

In chapter 27 of this Conquest ironman, the Nohrian royals lampshade the flagrant plot contrivances that have brought them to this point.

How is Leo asking Corrin how they found out about Garon being dead, why they didn't tell them earlier, and why only they and Azura know about it lampshading contrivances? I could maybe see the first and third questions fitting that bill if i were to be generous to Excel and point out that the answer is “because of a truth-revealing crystal ball that comes out of nowhere in this route”, but the answer to the second one isn't in any way contrived; the Nohrian royals would never believe Corrin and Azura based off their words alone, therefore they had to get them to the Hoshidan throne room in order to show them irrefutable evidence for their claim.

Chapter 28

Takumi shows up, apparently having already died in chapter 23, and tells Corrin that his corpse is being pocketed by a mysterious entity, but he won't say any more unless Corrin pays 20 bucks for the Revelation dlc.

What? Takumi doesn't know anything more about the situation than what he tells Corrin; plus, the only thing Revelation adds to this scene is giving Anankos a name and nothing more. The how and why of Takumi and Garon being possesed are genuinely significantly better explained in CQ than in Rev, which are the only things of relevance to this scene.

He then expresses his true heartfelt feelings, that Corrin never did anything wrong and that all of the legitimate grievances he had were completely unjustified.

I need to peep his personalized copy; changing Takumi's confession from him saying that he always wanted to befriend Corrin throughout Conquest, even as he felt hurt and betrayed by what they were doing, into him saying that Corrin did nothing wrong and all his complaints were unjustified sounds like a crazy modification to the story, and i'd love to question IS on why Excel's such a special boy that they went through the trouble of rewriting the scene just for him.

Azura also mysteriously disappears for reasons not elaborated on in this route, and you can only save her by paying 20 bucks for the Revelation dlc.

Maybe so in Excel's personalized copy, but for everyone else, there's a pretty obvious elaboration on why she disappears in a line he already brought up:

Azura: I didn’t plan on ever doing this again… But I will now use my forbidden song to weaken the curse and help free you. Once I use this power… Takumi, Ryoma… I wonder if you’ll be upset at me for joining you so soon. Or maybe you’ll be happy to see me too... ... ♪

Blud must have contracted Garon's supposed object impermanence; either that, or he's being an inept rat again, given how he already referenced the in-route explanation for why Azura disappears and still thought this would be a good gotcha.

Buy Revelation today to get the golden route ending where everyone lives, except for the ones that don't; buy Revelation today, buy Rev today, buy Rev today, buy the dlc i swear to god buy it please please, don't you want to see all your favorite characters happy? buy it now buy it buy it

This entire rant is just Excel being a rat and making an argument that he doesn't realize would require him to bite a bullet so large no one would unironically do so in order to be valid; every single time he portrays something in CQ as a Rev reference he's either factually wrong or trying to use the fact that different things happen in a different route as IS shilling for people to buy it. Even if i were to just start bootlicking him and gave him that second part, he'd also have to argue that Path of Radiance setting things up that are only revealed and/or paid off in Radiant Dawn is also IS shilling for people to buy RD every time PoR sets up a plot point to be explained in the former, along with any instances of a piece of fiction with a planned sequel leaving things up in the air for a sequel to explore and explain also being an instance of the creator shilling for people to buy said sequel, otherwise he's a flagrant hypocrite.

Besides, he's blindly assuming that IS had mind-reading skills and foresaw that people playing CQ would randomly know that Rev is the route where most of the characters survive; Rev was only ever marketed as a route where Corrin refuses to side with either kingdom and sets out to find the truth behind the war, so even if i started hyper-sucking him off and gave him both of the first two criticisms, the entire argument would still fall apart due to, at it's very core, being built off working backwards from a conclusion and assuming that IS expected players to have future sight when playing CQ.

In a following cutscene, Xander is crowned king and gives a speech about how war benefits nobody, immediately after conducting a war of aggression that has exclusively benefited Nohr.

Nope, this is the true heir to the throne of “biggest display of flagrant incompetence in the video”; Excel literally pulled the “no one on either side of the kingdom benefited in the slightest from the war” gotcha completely out of his ass. Xander only says that Garon was a cruel leader, that he won't follow in his footsteps, and that Hoshido suffered from the war, never that no one in Nohr benefitted from it; i would adore to take a gander at Excel's personalized copy of Conquest, since that's the only explanation for this point making it into the video that doesn't require him to either be a lazy fuck who'd rather strawman a very simple speech than actually spend the two minutes necessary to read it, or a grossly inept dimwit, and for what it's worth, i'm willing to give him the former denomination rather than the latter.

Hinoka and Sakura forgive Corrin for invading their country and killing their brothers because it wasn't his fault and he can do no wrong.

I wasn't aware Corrin secretly had mind-control powers all along and forced Takumi to jump off a tall wall and Ryoma to slice open his own stomach, especially when they were trying to take the former in as a POW and the latter would have just been killed by Garon anyway if they hadn't done it themselves; Excel needs to release his personalized copy of Conquest for the world to see.

Besides, i thought he claimed Corrin never kills people throughout all of Conquest unless stated otherwise; if that's the case, what would Hinoka and Sakura be angry at them for? They didn't kill anyone during the invasion and gave the former her kingdom back as soon as the war was over, so i fail to see a single good reason for anyone to be angry at them, according to his logic.

Lastly, yes, it unironically wasn't Corrin's fault that their kingdom was invaded and their brothers died; Nohr is so much more powerful than Hoshido that they would have won the war even without Corrin's help, except with the entire royal family dead and a lot more casualties on the Hoshidan side.

To celebrate the tremendous loss of life, Nohr will have a grand banquet for everyone in the capital.

I find it very interesting that Excel doesn't make this exact same criticism against every FE ending; all of them end with the heroes triumphant and relaxing after a lot of bloodshed, and in CQ's case specifically it's even more justified due to Nohr finally getting enough food from Hoshido to feed everyone in the country for the first time in decades, if not centuries.

The rest of the video is just a couple of mid jokes followed by self-congratulations, so i'll end this here; shame that Excel put out a 3/10 video for something as important as a subscriber landmark, but there's always next time.

Later.

#fire emblem fates #fire emblem

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