#OnlineJourn

[minuluver]

3/7/2023

Work as normal. Went outside to view the cherry blossoms that were blooming to appreciate them before they're gone🌸 still trying to stick on my caloric restrictive diet~ picked up some lowishhhh calorie vinaigrette dressing.

Made appointments to go try on wedding dresses in Knoxville👰🏻‍♀️ I'm super excited! Looked at asking bridesmaids to be gifts~

Went to the gym and did a bunch of cardio~ a person near me ripped a smelly one while I was on the treadmill. The most terrible experience while running 🙀 I think it was the girl doing weighted sit ups lol~

My cat Meatball is super cute.

Did the new deep dungeon with Jaja, Split, and Suzu 🎉 stayed up too late trying to unlock the loporrit tribe quests and island sanctuary up keep🥹 also Devon got a haircut and is as always super handsome💕

[sadlilquartz]

Fleeting being

I'm ephemere. I will soon be erased physically, living in the sorrows and souvenirs of my loved ones. Why if we die so soon we take things so seriously? Is why all we are is emotions ? Why we hold so much onto them ?

Since I was a little girl all I was sure of is that I could die. That was scary. Not the death itself but all the uncertainty around it : like how? when? what will happen after? what will happen before?

Since then I've been longing for my death and anxious about everything else.

[hinatashoyo-desu]

062224

I decided to revisit a book in my shelf habang naghihintay ng mga confirmations sa mga inapplyan ko. Para din kasi mabalik ko yung hilig ko on reading books. Pinili ko ulit tong book na to. I bought it, I think, in 2016 ata? I'm not sure pero yun binili ko siya years ago.

And damn, revisiting books seems so helpful din talaga. Siguro kasi nasa age na ko when the author was at the same age when he published this. And this fucker made me cry. Kasi lahat ng nakalagay sa libro, totoo. From curiosity hanggang sa maging in-denial ka until ma-realize mo na you have to accept the reality but not abandoning what you really are as a person. Life lessons in a nutshell ganon. Tas sobrang timely din kasi gawa in my situation right now, nasa point na ko na I'm looking for my purpose in life. Nakakapagod, nakakasawa. But when I read this book again, I realized na it's pointing me from where I stopped the last time (iyak malala talaga). We're too busy finding our purpose in life to the point that we are forgetting who we really are as a person. Dahil na rin sa mga trials and challenges natin in life kaya ganon pero the book reminded me na it's all valid but always remember one thing, love and forgive. Always. Love yourself so that you can love others. Forgive yourself so that you can forgive others and have a peace of mind na sobrang hirap hanapin and makuha nowadays. And na-realize ko rin don na failures are things that you should accept so that you can ascend to even greater heights. Sa book, I saw it as Morrie's disease and death (sorry sa spoiler). It helped him realize the greater things in life not just being present or alive literally. And not just Morrie, even Mitch got his world turned upside-down when doing this "final thesis" with his coach.

Wala lang skl. Dami ko pa na-realize bukod dyan eh pero that's for me na lang din siguro. Sa ngayon, kung umabot ka man dito, I want to recommend you the book. If you're struggling to find yourself, try reading that. It really helps.

Yun lang. Salamat sa pagbabasa and sana masarap ulam mo today.

[bgrpublications]

Respected Human, Greetings for your research. Say yes to a green environment with the selection of online publishing house Dr. BGR Publications.

https://drbgrpublications.in/

[onlinejournal]

After a dream

Today I woke up slowly. My head hanged in an awkward way. I was aware I was asleep yet I knew that the very real feeling of the sheets and the sight of the ceiling were close. In the meantime I dreamed.

It was a very self-soothing, pitiful dream. Plenty of suggestions of traumatic experiences, a soft sci-fi setting, people in awe and me being the moral victor on seemingly grand yet pretentious issues. But beyond the feeling of grandness, I was captivated by its literary ideas too. So I dragged myself out of hypnagogia to record these findings through audio. It must have been a good thirty minutes of laying there, head beside phone. Lots of uhs and ohs. Finally it was done. I thought about it, but I was too lazy and proud to record what I felt were non-important and even-more-shameful details within the overall narrative. I lingered some more in bed.

When I rose, my mind was clearer than usual. Act, don't think - was the crux of it.

[doyoueverfeelme]

030124 - 0124

Good night.

It was an ok day. Today is my first day with the journal. This was originally an advise from an asshole. But the thoughts I have is unbearable at this point and I need to let them out. Also therapists are retarded and I don't have a community to talk to so it's the best solution I could find. An online journal in Tumblr. It's here because I also need a little bit of attention. But will be anonim for sure.

I decided to help myself mentally today. I made an old notebook into agenda and planned my days and weeks. It helped me. I will not force myself to conquer the world in 1 day anymore as I now understand it takes way longer and nothing is more important then my piece and mental health.

I always believed that to let go is for weak. and I never knew how to let go, I can't let go. I'm not weak. I hold. I keep. I'm like this. I hate people who let go. Why

[symbiosisonlinepublishing]

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Visit: https://symbiosisonlinepublishing.com/thoracic-and-cardiovascular-surgery/

[hydroxchange]

Hydro Harmony: Elevating Your Garden with Coco Coir and Cutting-Edge Hydro Products

Introduction: Embracing Hydro Harmony in Your Garden

In the realm of gardening, the pursuit of lush, thriving plants has led enthusiasts to explore innovative solutions that nurture both growth and sustainability. Amidst this quest, the emergence of hydroponics and the remarkable properties of coco coir have sparked a revolution in modern gardening. This blog delves into the synergy of these elements, uncovering how the marriage of hydroponics and organic coco coir can elevate your gardening experience to new heights.

Coco Coir: The Natural Marvel for Modern Gardeners

At the heart of this horticultural revolution lies the remarkable coco coir – a natural fiber extracted from coconut husks. Renowned for its exceptional water retention, optimal drainage, and aeration capabilities, coco coir has quickly risen to prominence as a game-changing medium for planting. Its eco-friendly and sustainable nature, coupled with its ability to enhance root health and promote robust growth, has endeared it to both novice and seasoned gardeners alike.

Cultivating Success: Unleashing the Power of Coco Coir Bricks

Imagine the convenience of coco coir bricks – compact blocks that transform into a nutrient-rich growing medium when hydrated. These bricks provide a versatile solution for starting seeds, propagating cuttings, and nurturing seedlings. The process is simple: soak the bricks, watch them expand, and witness the transformation into a fluffy, moisture-retentive coco coir soil ready for planting.

The Ultimate Support System: Harnessing Garden Plant Supports

As your garden flourishes, providing the right support becomes crucial. Enter garden plant supports – an arsenal of solutions designed to bolster your plants as they reach new heights. Whether it's a climbing vine, a delicate flower, or a potted plant, the strategic use of plant supports ensures not only vertical growth but also prevents damage from unpredictable weather conditions.

Brightening Your Garden: Illuminating with Indoor Grow Lights

Indoor gardening enthusiasts understand the importance of proper lighting. Indoor grow lights, such as LEDs and grow lamps, have revolutionized the way we nurture plants indoors. By replicating the spectrum of natural sunlight, these lighting solutions empower gardeners to cultivate healthy, vibrant plants year-round, even in spaces where sunlight is limited.

Hydro Harmony: Crafting Your Garden Oasis

In the realm of modern gardening, hydroponics and coco coir have harmoniously converged to create a paradigm shift in how we nurture and cultivate our green havens. From the eco-friendly properties of organic coco coir to the ingenious convenience of coco coir bricks, these innovations are empowering gardeners to embrace sustainability, achieve remarkable growth, and craft thriving garden oases that stand as a testament to the wonders of hydro harmony. Whether you're a gardening novice or an experienced green thumb, the world of hydroponics and coco coir invites you to embark on an exciting journey of discovery, growth, and sustainable cultivation.

Conclusion: Nurturing Growth, Sustaining Beauty

As we navigate the dynamic landscape of modern gardening, one thing remains certain: the symbiotic relationship between hydroponics, coco coir, and cutting-edge hydro products is transforming the way we interact with our gardens. By harnessing the power of coco coir's organic essence and embracing the ingenuity of hydro solutions, we're cultivating not just plants, but a sustainable future where harmony between nature and innovation thrives. Join us in this horticultural revolution and witness firsthand the hydro harmony that awaits in your own garden oasis.

[formeandmytherapist]

what is this for?

as it says, for me and my therapist. I just wanted a place where I could come and dump my thoughts. typing is faster and let’s my brain think as fast as I can type. so it’s like a journal. but, i want it to be public. there’s something about putting my thoughts, feelings, and emotions out there for others to see - even if no one sees them. and to keep it truly like an online journal - i’m anonymous. if i discuss people, they’ll have fake names. you’ll be able to gather some information about me, purely based on context clues, but hopefully, nothing that will lead you to me.

who is the you? the you is you. sure. but also me? anytime I ever tried to write in a journal growing up, i always would start to write it like i was talking to someone else or writing a book about my daily life. so. the you is you. the you is me. the you is the fictitious reader in my head (which is also kind of you).

CLEARLY, i am not trying to be proper with spelling, punctuation, grammar, or writing rules. these posts are purely streams of consciousness. 

is this actually for my therapist? well, probably not honestly. if i share this link with my therapist, i’ll likely write for my therapist and not for me. masking even in anonymous writing and that’s not the point. however, my therapist does give me writing props now and again or questions to think about and mull over. it may be easier for me to write those thoughts out here and then transfer to my therapist. that’s why its for me... and my therapist. 

i am still working on figuring out what i’ll be writing. will there be a sign off? will there be posts about people in my life? (fake names as previously mentioned). what about the places i live, travel, or deem important? my daily habits, my choice in food, my favorite tv shows and books. i am completely unsure. honestly i just don’t want people i know to find me out (especially if i’m talking about them). currently, i don’t see that happening, but what if i become this huge viral sensation where the WORLD demands to know who i am? then my secrets are out. for good. soooooo, you see the dilemma. 

anyway,  i got on here today to finally create this tumblr because i had something that i wanted to write about, but then i figured i should create some kind of introductory post. oofta. 

so signing off i suppose? by a letter? by a phrase? by a call to action? unsure. but just because i don’t do it in post one, doesn’t mean i can’t introduce it later. (she tells herself) (also I'm nonbinary) (so i’ll probably use different pronouns throughout) 

-me 

[latherthebloodonurhandsromeo]

having a bottom locker is so humiliating you're telling me i have to get on my knees to get my books fucking bullshit

[angelbaybeh]

I cannot give any of my peace of mind away. There are so many messed-up events happening in today's world. I do not have the mental capability to stress about my own life on top of all the other things happening. I do not listen to the media. I do not know the number of deaths happening each day. I don’t care to know the details of the truckers' protest in Ottawa. It does not matter whether Karen does not want to wear a mask or get the vaccine because there’s a chip inside trying to control her. Karen is just selfish, privileged, and uneducated. I could not care less what people decide to do with their lives. It’s frustrating that it’s impeding my chance at getting some new normalcy back. It will never be the way it was before. It would be nice to regain some social events, travelling abilities, not having to be scared of contracting a virus or staying away from places I once enjoyed. I’m over this whole thing, unfortunately it’s only beginning.

[simplydifferentlydia]

Pitfall

What is that?

What is that you feel?

That's the pain,

That's the pain my dear,

It's eating you alive every day,

Every day you say?

Every day, hidden away,

Until you look in the mirror and see the pain pulsing through your veins

That IS the pain

That is the pain

When you see others living,

& you have to look away

That is the pain

That is the pain

When you see others love

& you have to run away

That is the pain my dear,

That is your pain

..

How do I help it fade?

[thishumanexperience]

Greetings!

I’ve finally started this writing blog after much deliberation, and after spending hours looking at best blogging platforms, I still decided good old Tumblr was the most fitting for maximum freedom of expression. lol. The anonymity to just be myself. This blog is pretty much intended to be my online journal - my thoughts, feelings, experiences. Just the power of the written word. No post schedule; just life as it comes.  Who knows what this will turn into. If I get some people reading my writing, that’s more than I could hope for, but I’m not setting any high expectations. For now, I’m glad I’ve started something. Stay tuned, I guess. 

[hinatashoyo-desu]

112221

Matagal-tagal na rin since last entry ko. Siguro kasi from all the stress I've been bearing everyday, gusto ko na lang mamahinga. But yeah, God is good and nagkakaron pa rin naman ako rest days paminsan-minsan.

SO QUICK UPDATE:

There's this couple that wants to hire me as their operations manager. Mini coffee shop lang naman but guess where? SA FUCKING RESORT ULIT! And I'll see those fucking faces again which I hate the most. Gahd!! Maganda naman yung offer actually and mas magaan kasama tong mga nag-alok sakin ng work. I'm so honored by what they offered me so please wag ka na mag-isip dyan ng kung ano-ano. Kilala kita.

Anyway, I'm getting my shit together to prepare for an answer for their offer. Hindi rin kasi biro yung offer eh. I get to work near home again and mas matututukan ko yung tindahan dito sa bahay unlike sa present side hustle ko ngayon na taga-bantay ng tindahan ng kapatid ko.

Goods naman yung side hustle ko ngayon +++ axie scholar den so I'm beyond grateful for the blessings. It's just that yung tinitirhan ko kasi ngayon after sa tindahan, sobrang gulo and di rin ako makagalaw ng ayos kasi nga, nakikitira lang ako. So yun, kelangan ko muna mag-strive para may ipon ako somehow.

Ever since my last entry, maraming nagbago. Maraming nawala at dumating. Blessings and burdens. But one thing's for sure: NAKAKAPAGOD. PAGOD AKO.

In addition to that, sobrang torn ako between pursuing my career and finishing my studies. Kasi don't get me wrong ah?! I really want to finish what I started. I really want to hold my diploma. It's just that, yung opportunities na dumadating is about my career. As they say, opportunities don't come to you twice. So grab it, pull it beside you. Yun yung ginagawa ko. Sa hirap ng panahon ngayon, all I need to think and do is to be practical. But it has a twist: my s/o said that if I can't continue my studies, she will let go of us. Well, may point naman siya. Sino nga naman ba may gustong mag-invest ng lifetime nila with someone na walang achievement diba? HAHAHA! I'm not being a sad boy here. I'm just stating facts. And based on what I'm seeing right now, she's shaken by that fact. Kasi gusto naman talaga namin yung company ng isa't isa. It's just that things aren't going the way we expect them to be. So, I always assure her about my plans. Not just for me but for us as well. Alam mo naman mga tao ngayon (including me), di na natin halos maalis sa sistema natin yung mga trust issues natin sa buhay. And that burden keeps us from reaching our true goal: TO GROW. Kagandahan lang kasi sa kanya, for the past months na napapag-usapan namin itong mga gantong bagay, she is open unlike before. Siguro kasi she's shattered by her past kaya ganon but as time goes by, it also help her grow. Heal from all the wounds caused by her ex. And now, she's good. Really good. May times lang talaga na she always snap pag di na niya ma-handle yung pressure in life. Sino ba naman kasing hindi diba? But I'm also glad that unlike before, she's always vocal about how she feels, she thinks and how she manage her own life. And that, for me, is a breakthrough. Kasi di naman lahat tayo kayang mag-open about ourselves diba? So I honor her for that.

PLOT TWIST: Wala pa rin kaming label hanggang ngayon. HAHAHAH!

Well we have a condition as I mentioned earlier and that thing keeps me intact on what I'm planning to do with my life. Not just for her or for us, but more importantly, for myself. Kasi pano pag nawala yung tao and sa kanya naka-anchor yung lahat ng plano ko? Edi wala na? Wasak nanaman si LastiMak?! Di na pwede ngayon yon. I'm done with that phase and I learned my lesson. Not gonna go back to that kind of shit again. Sarili muna bago ang lahat!

So that's it for now. TIME CHECK: 0450HRS

Kung umabot ka man dito sa last part na to, maraming salamat sa'yo. Sa oras mo. And may God bless you will all the desires of your heart. Ingat ka lagi and please!! Stay hydrated and always to put facemask pag lalabas!!

Ciao.

[bunnyofblackgables]

Hello

Yes, the title of my blog is an homage to the beloved children’s classic, Anne of Green Gables (1908), by L.M. Montgomery. I grew up watching the 1985 film version starring Megan Follows, and then later read the book. While Anne certainly had her bout of troubles, symbolically her gables were always "green" and she even got a happy ending. Bunny was my childhood nickname, and while I still enjoy its use, the adult world in which I find myself is more ominous and the troubles I face are far more treacherous than Anne’s. Hence, my gables are black. Perhaps some of my thoughts should be kept private. I have decided to share everything publicly with all of you because, well, I find myself in a place where I have no friends to share my thoughts and experiences with. I’ve never been one to have a ton of friends. In fact, I’ve only had two or three close friends at any given time in my life. But in the wake of multiple COVID lockdowns, followed by three waves of variants, and compounded by the fact that it’s really hard to make new friends as an adult, I reached a place where I’ve come to find myself alone. I have no intimate friends. I am established in a “successful” career, but it’s an incredibly stressful and challenging field where opening up to your coworkers is a dangerous option. So I don’t. My city is a horrible city to date in. (Trust me, I know.) So I don’t. I live in a high-rise apartment in a major metropolitan city where neighbors don’t mean jack shit. So they’re out. Opening my heart to a mostly anonymous audience is a new adventure for me. In turn, you’ll be learning the inner secrets of a mostly anonymous blogger. But I think a lot of you will be able to relate to the things I think and feel. I haven’t had a best friend, a real best friend, since I was eight years old. But I want to have a best friend now. This is not going to be a nice, flowery, “feel good” blog. I want to be human, and I want to treat you as if you are my best friend. Here goes nothing. Yours truly, Bunny