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urban-hart · 2 years ago
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Hi yes, so. I am sort of back because I am honestly more lonely than previously realized, gosh I could use some friends. I mostly just need the (entirely self-imposed, I'll be honest) pressure of posting my own stuff, off my back for a while longer. Thus, I shall mostly lurk and invest in Fren Art instead for the time being. :) Frens here are so freaking hard-working and good at what they do, and I need moar of it.
Retail has been. Overall an okay experience actually. I've been fortunate to have fellow staff whom I actually like and patrons who have been for the most part quite lovely. That said, it's been 6 months and I need out of the drudgery.
Recently, I've been applying online for things art-related (and with the lowest bar possible set for entry level positions-- ie too poor/unmotivated to pursue higher education, but needing to start somewhere), so please pray/wish me luck. :') having to basically sell yourself for usually nothing is exhausting, and I seriously wonder if I have some mild form of ADHD that scatters me so on my off-time.
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fullhalalalchemist · 2 years ago
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URGENT: Congress about to pass a mass censorship and surveillance bill under the guise of "protecting children"
May 13 2023
The Senate has been in a "do something!" mode regarding children's online safety. They're using this as an excuse to push for widespread internet censorship and surveillance. The EARN IT Act, has a slimmer chance of passing with widespread opposition and some senators saying they won't vote for it. TLDR;The real threat is actually KOSA (s.1409), the Kid's Online Safety Act, which will mass censor and surveill the entire internet by giving all 50 state attorney generals the power to remove content that is "harmful" for kids, and force you to upload your govt ID online to access the internet. I'll explain how it works below the action items but it's absolutely urgent that anyone who likes having a free and open internet fights back. It's all hands on deck, because this has so much public support it's insane:
HOW TO FIGHT KOSA
CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES & THE COMMERCE COMMITTEE
This is a link to the Senate Commerce Committee phone numbers and a call script to read off of. (202) 224-3121 connects you to the congressional hotline
Opposition is getting drowned, and these upcoming weeks will be heavy for lobbying and they're using young people to do it. We NEED to show these senators that young people are actually opposed to this and don't want it.
2. Sign these petitions
Open Letter Against KOSA
Petition 1
Petition 2
Petition 3
Petition 4
Resistbot: Text PHJDYH to 50409
3. Spread the word.
The opposition is getting absolutely drowned online. Dove has nearly 100k signatures to push for KOSA. Influencers on tiktok are pushing for this without ever having read the bill. Fucking Lizzo is sponsoring it. If you have twitter, reddit, tiktok, are in any community, SPREAD THE WORD, PLEASE.
Here is a linktree with all the above petitions for easy shargin: Link to linktree
HOW KOSA WORKS
First, KOSA pressures platforms to install filters that would wipe the net of anything deemed “inappropriate” for minors. This means instructing platforms to censor. We saw how these filters impacted websites firsthand with tumblr in 2018, with not only blocking all adult content but also sfw queer content such as suicide hotlines, art archives, wiping out entire blogs because they had queer fandom related posts, etc. Places that already use content filters have restricted important information about suicide prevention and LGBTQ+ support groups. KOSA would spread this kind of censorship to every corner of the internet. And who gets to decide what is and isn't harmful for minors? Oh don't worry, just every single state attorney general and the FTC, which is appointed by the president. You know, the same attorney generals that just banned gender-affirming healthcare under the guise that it "ruins mental health" of minors. This is why the Heritage Foundation was one of the first to sponsor the bill because they can use it to censor trans content, and Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee is it's co-author.
Second, KOSA would ramp up the online surveillance of all internet users by forcing websites to use age verification and parental monitoring tools. Yup, that's right. Now every single person who wants to access the internet has to upload their govt ID online to third party apps that get hacked all the time. You queer in a red state? You undocumented? You an activist? Have fun getting all your online activity and metadata attached to your govt ID.  
Over 90+ human and LGBT rights groups agree that KOSA is dangerous and updates to the 2023 version won’t and can’t address the big problems with the bill. This bill has MASSIVE bipartisan support, and the authors Blumenthal and Blackburn (yes, that Blumenthal that's pushing the EARN IT Act, and who also sponsored the RESTRICT Act and SOPA/PIPA if you remember) are using the tragedy of mothers who lost their kids to online harassment and young adults who've been traumatized online to lobby for it, and got Dove the company to use a bunch of influencers to push for this under the guise it prevents eating disorders...I wish I was lying. There are already 30 co-sponsors.
It is all hands on deck. I'm dead serious when I say if this bill is passed it is the beginning if not end of the open and free internet.
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simpjaes · 1 month ago
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head empty..i just finished reading hypersexual for the nth time and i cant help it. please PLEASE PLEASE give me hyung line thoughts on all of them with the same affliction. its not a want anymore i need it sj PLEASE
hyper sexual hyung line
☆ jay:
jay is the type to let himself lose his mind until he enters dangerous territory. he has so many pocket pussies, he's fucked just about anything he can get his hands on to offer new sensations. has dabbled in porn that he should be incredibly ashamed of and only keeps getting worse...i think he'd need someone just like himself if he were suffering with chronic boner syndrome. all day, all night. drop out of college babe, he needs to get his dick wet. probably leads into a lot of different kinks too. public stuff mostly. what's even better is the thought of how insane he gets without it....and you, depriving him of it for fun. dom jay lets go. anyway, jay is also the type to genuinely expect you to drop out and let him take care of you if it means you'll spread your legs 24/7 for him.
★ jake:
this is basically just a small description of jake from the fic: hyper sexual, but yeah. He genuinely has an issue with jerking off to the point that he's practically numb to the feeling of his own hand, or jerking off in general. He can't fucking get off to anything anymore, which sucks when your cock is always pulsing and leaking in your pants. He's the type to go through every fucking dating app, never able to land a girl because he genuinely is just...way way too much for them. Absolutely gets horny at work, and practically tastes the heavens when any mention of "free use" is considered. Def into somno, and borderline dangerous if he doesn't get what he needs.
☆ sunghoon:
hides it well until he doesn't in the form of a huge boner always poking his friends via hug simply bc they rubbed against his arm the wrong way and he's way too sensitive. And thats what I think about sunghoon, he's sensitive. Any touch, any lingering touch will have him wanting to bury himself into anyone, fucking anything to feel good. definitely the type to pay sex workers for their services but also make them breakfast the next day before asking for a freebie. He would very likely go bankrupt if he can't find a girl to match his energy and be ready to fuck the second he pulls it out.
★ heeseung:
GOONER. an entire porn addict. Heeseung will jerk off to a fucking gaming magazine that shows a group of guys playing a table-top game just because there is a leg at the corner of a picture that kind of looks like it belongs to a girl he would absolutely fuck. he's desperate about it, which doesn't work in his favor at all. he's probably similar to jake in terms of being very close to committing....not good things. like, he will probably end up with restraining orders at one point because he'll find someone he wants to fuck and basically become obsessed with them until they give in. but hey, it's hard to meet people when you spend all day at home online, right? gotta make it count when he finds someone :/
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thydungeongal · 3 months ago
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I can't imagine what life must be like for you. You wake up every day shitting and pissing yourself with rage because somewhere in the world there are people playing D&D and even worse, playing it WRONG. You don't have to play it with them or even hear about them doing it but the fact that they exist and there's no way for you to stop them will cause you endless torment for the rest of their life. "
Stop homebrewing!!!!" you scream through tears, "Don't you understand that there are other games?" But they do not respond because they do understand, but they know you are mentally incapable of understanding that people who heavily homebrew their games do so because the act of homebrewing a game is the fun they are after. You are doing the equivalent of yelling at someone who plays modded Skyrim because don't they know that Pathologic exists? But they do know Pathologic exists. They do not want to play Pathologic. They want to play modded Skyrim. Because modding the game IS the fun they are having. For them, the modding is the game. And going to play a different game instead would not be the experience they are looking for.
You do not and will never understand that for the majority of the D&D playing population, it is primarily a social activity. A way for them to kick back and hang out and have fun with their friends. The idea that they would factor in the opinions of some random loser on the internet is absurd. You are going up to a group of guys who get together and shoot hoops every friday after work and screaming "NO!!! YOU'RE NOT FOLLOWING THE OFFICIAL NBA RULEBOOK! YOU'RE NOT EVEN KEEPING SCORE!!! TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!!! AND WHY DON'T YOU PLAY HOCKEY INSTEAD!!!" But they do not care. This is a recreational activity to bond with people that they care about, and you are such an unlikable little creep that you will never know what that's like.
"I'm just trying to get them to engage with the art form!" you lie, "Only playing one game is like only reading one book or only watching one movie!" Except that the average number of ttrpgs that the average person has played is still 0, and even when you count all people who have ever played D&D, the vast majority are people who played a couple of games and then never got back to it. You're acting like this is some massive moral social disease that needs to be cured to solve the anti-intellectualism problem in society as opposed to being the niche hobby of a small portion of the population.
"I just want to show people how great other games are," you lie, because if you actually did want that you would spend your time talking about your favorite games and what makes them great instead of spending all your free time insulting D&D players for the fact that they don't already play these games. I love so many TTRPGS and there are so many others that I would love to get to play, but I can't talk to people about them because so many D&D players first exposure to other game is people like you screaming at them that "EVERYONE WHO PLAYS D&D INSTEAD OF MY GAME IS A FUCKING MORON IDIOT FASCIST WHO SHOULD BE SHOT" and it immediately turns them off from wanting to try those games.
Like maybe if more of you spend your time talking about how cool your last game was, posting session diaries online, discussing your favorite mechanical interactions, posting actual play podcasts or youtube videos, that would entice people to want to try, but in order to do that you would have to understand what having fun playing a game feels like, and you fundamentally don't.
You are the worst thing to happen to the hobby you're actively sabotaging people from wanting to try new games. Honestly Hasbro should be paying you for doing their work for them, making it look like if people leave D&D to try other systems they'll be surrounded by people who scream at and insult them nonstop.
At this point D&D is popular because it is popular. If I want to play D&D, I know I can find a group. If I dig harder, I know I can find one of the other big names (call of cthulhu, vampire the masquerade, pathfinder, MAYBE shadowrun) but finding a full table of people who are all interested in playing a more obscure game (and not even super obscure, even stuff like monster of the week or blades in the dark), and specifically who all want to play the SAME more obscure game? That's really challenging and you strike out a lot, and the fact is hat people get into this hobby because they actually want to fucking play game, not sit around imagining what it would be like to play and then argue with people on the internet.
And the funniest part of all this bullshit is that it literally does not effect you in the slightest. Those five friends hanging out after a hard week of work roleplaying about kissing elves in their basement half a world away are not going to break into your house and make you play D&D and play it their way. It shouldn't upset you but it does, because you are an unhappy person and rather than acknowledge that and deal with it you would rather put the blame for how you feel on some random people you have never met and will never meet, so you spend all your time on the internet frothing at the mouth with rage, trying as hard as you can to make everyone else as miserable as you are.
But it doesn't work, because those people aren't reading your posts. They are having fun kissing elves in the dungeon, blissfully unaware of what some miserable, unpleasant assholes on the internet think about it. They are having fun with their favorite hobby and you are not, and a hobby will never be defined by the 1% of people who spend all their time complaining that the other 99% are doing it wrong, it's defined by what the 99% of people involved are actually doing, and that's what makes you mad and that's what makes you such a fucking worthless loser.
Your mistake is assuming that when I write about RPGs, even critically, that I'm having a bad time, but I actually enjoy the intellectual exercise of thinking about the things I enjoy critically. You should try it too! :)
Also I'm very glad that you've really nailed down on my ideology of "everyone who plays D&D instead of my game is an idiot fascist who must be shot," a thing I am always saying and am in fact famous for saying.
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tossawary · 2 months ago
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I saw the "Wicked" movie and enjoyed it. I have a soft spot for the musical because it's one of the first big musicals I ever saw, through a special matinee performance put on for school groups. A lot of the costumes and sets in the movie were fun; it was nice to see something that was shamelessly colorful and whimsical fantasy, rather than grey and grim. It seemed like a fairly solid adaptation of the stage show.
Which reminded me: Maguire's "Wicked" book that inspired the musical (published in 1995, essentially a wildly AU fanfic of the original books & the 1939 "The Wizard of Oz" movie) may not be public domain yet, but L. Frank Baum's original Oz books are apparently available online on Project Gutenberg. Baum wrote over a dozen Oz books himself, then some other authors were tasked with writing dozens more stories set in Oz after his death. Local libraries will almost certainly have most of the "Famous Forty" Oz stories if you prefer to read physical books.
The original "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" book is 120+ years old and free to read online! You can download an ebook or just read it in your browser.
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cherryvampyre · 3 months ago
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RADICAL FEMINIST WEBSITES currently in the process of making a large directory so this will be updated frequently; if you have any websites or want yours added you can dm or comment
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Join the Radfem Community Group today!
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❧ IMPORTANT! Abortion resources for USA women;
abortion pills online - every state
find a clinic
find a clinic 2
answers to all legal questions regarding repro rights
Miscarriage & Abortion hotline
abortion emotional support hotline
get help funding an abortion
pro bono lawyers for repro rights - this is global
❧ Literature/reading;
list of 1st - 3rd wave literature by female authors only
radfem library google drive
translations
JSTOR feminist newsletter/magazine archive
reduxx women's magazine
andrea dworkin all works pdf
a simple explanation of classism (in case you don't get it)
total woman victory - quarterly radfem newsletter
❧ Studies & Statistics;
Transgender women and male type aggression
radfem studies google drive
research into transgender studies has been manipulated
gender critical erasure
literature, medicine, and misogyny: a collection of narratives
❧ Websites;
reject manifesto blog
Nordic model now
women life freedom
terf is a slur
fair play for women
feminist current
ovarit
womad
link to sistasepratist stuff
❧ Donations & petitions;
women for Afghan women
traffickinghub stop pornhub petition
womens declaration
❧ Media (fun!!);
VHS archive youtube
radfem archive
feminist movie list
female directed/written movie list
❧ Separate useful websites;
paywall reader
paywall reader 2
title capitalization website (I use this for all my blogs)
project Gutenberg; free books online
annas archive - archive.org alternative - i read SCUM here
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dontaskmemybias · 3 months ago
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Pretty
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Pairing: Idol!Lee Know x afab Ninth Member!reader Request: Yes Theme: Friends to Lovers Contains: Anxiety, Hurt/comfort, jealousy, teeny angst if you squint. There is no smut in this part, its all buildup lmao sorry but there will be smut in the next part. Word Count: 10k+ Note: This is a work of fiction and does not portray any of the members irl. I decided to go with a friends to lovers slow burn since you wanted a longer fic anon and I figured I could do a bit more like this, and I was correct, I started writing and just like never stopped? This has become a behemoth of a story and I'll be releasing it in two parts because damn. I know you requested this like a year ago but life happened hard, hopefully you still get to read it.
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Author's Personal Note: This week has been awful. I can't describe how tired and scared I have been since Tuesday morning. I haven't written in almost a year because my motivation just was not there and I don't know if it was the existential dread or the overwhelming urge to just be in control of some narrative that drove me to start writing this absolute beast of a story but here we are. Enjoy it, don't, I don't really care either way.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Snow blankets the surrounding hills as you burrow yourself further into your winter puffer. The boys are all running around the field, throwing snowballs at each other and cackling wildly. You chuckle to yourself seeing their childlike display. You have all gathered to film SKZCode "Winter is Coming" (you and the boys had been binge watching Game of Thrones in your free time and decided to take a little inspiration from it for the title) You let out a laugh when you see Changbin nail Hyunjin in the back of the head with a snowball and in true Jinnie fashion Hyunjin dramatically flails on the ground until Changbin comes over to comfort him.
You had been through so much with these eight boys, late nights in the studio recording your parts until they were perfect, early mornings in the dance studio drilling choreography until it was perfect, you loved it all, but moments like these when you could all let loose and have some fun? Those were your favorites.
Being the only woman in the group was a bit of a challenge in some ways, but it was nice having eight guys to look out for you in every aspect of life. You had formed a bond with these guys over the years, each friendship blossoming and holding something unique.
If you ever needed a shoulder to cry on, you knew you could turn to your leader Bang Chan and he wouldn't just comfort you, he would help you figure out what to do. Only one year your senior and yet his wisdom was that of an 85 year old war vet. Chan was your rock.
Need workout tips or someone to belt girl group songs with? Changbin was your man. He was always willing to help you stay healthy, whether that be helping you with your fitness routine, or working on your mental health. Changbin was there for you when antis said you looked too fat and cheered you up all night. He was the ultimate hype man.
Felix was often in your dorm baking with you when you were stressed (stress baking is both a blessing and a curse). He would massage your shoulders when you got too tense. He really was the sunshine in your life.
Whenever you wanted to try something new—a restaurant, an online game, anything at all—Seungmin would join you. He would say he had been meaning to go there or try that anyway, and this just gave him an excuse, but you knew he did it, so you didn't ever feel lonely. He was like the little brother you never had.
You and Hyunjin bonded over your love for art. The two of you had done all the cheesy trends where you paint for ten minutes then swap paintings until they are both finished (it ended up with an abomination with a cat head and a wolf body, you named it Lee Bang after Felix, Bang Chan, and Lee Know, you both laughed so hard you were in tears) you also would often sketch one another to get better at portraits. Time spent with Hyunjin was always amazing.
Anytime you had a fashion emergency you knew you could count on Innie. He would roast your outfits when they were too "millennial sheik" as he would say, but then immediately assist. He was also great to couch rot and watch movies with on your off days. He was basically your bestie.
Anytime you were feeling down and you just really needed a good laugh you knew that you could turn to Jisung. You and Jisung had bonded very hard very early on because you both suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. The two of you had helped each other through so many at this point it was basically second nature. When you ugly sob in front of someone and they trust you enough to do it in return you know it's a friendship built to last. You and Jisung were basically soulmates.
Finally there was Minho. Your relationship with Minho was… interesting, to say the least. You grew close with him simply because he was your soulmate's soulmate. Anywhere Minho went, Jisung went, and anywhere Jisung went, you went. So the three of you grew very close very fast. Minho's sense of humor perfectly matched yours and the two of you would often bicker back and forth simply because it was fun and it often drove the other members crazy. The bickering started innocently enough, however, a few months ago something changed. The bickering you loved became… borderline flirty? The other members often referred to you both as a married couple and would call Jisung your son. It was all in good fun and it really didn't bother you, but every time someone outside the group made the same jokes, Minho would get this look on his face. You couldn't quite place the emotion behind it, but you recently found yourself thinking about it for much too long.
You are brought back to the present from your ruminating when something wet and cold hits the back of your head followed by maniacal laughter.
"Minnie, that was evil!" You try to sound mad but you can't hide the giggles that escape you at the younger boys' antics. He just sticks his tongue out as you and laughs while running away.
You are fully laughing now, trying to shake the snow out of your hair when you feel warm arms wrap around you from behind.
"You're shivering little moon bear" Minho's breathy chuckle ruffles your hair and you laugh.
Shuffling in his arms to face him you look up and pout. "It's cold out! Of course I'm shivering Min. And why do you insist on referring to me by my SKZOO?"
"Because I find the little pout you do every time I do adorable." He smirks down at you and you think the flush adorning your ears is no longer just from the cold.
"YOH LOVEBIRDS GET OVER HERE IT'S TIME TO FILM!" Changbin's voice rings out over the set and you flinch a little which causes Minho to hold you just a bit tighter.
"Come on moon bear, time to film." He gently whispers to you while tucking you under his arm and leading you toward the group.
~✨~
Filming was going great! Sledding with a pitcher of water was pretty hard but you had loads of fun and managed not to come in last. When it came to the balloon popping portion Minho decided to come behind you like he had before filming and wrap his arms around you.
He leaned in to whisper in your ear "You looked cold again little moon bear." You chuckled when he began swaying you both side to side.
"You're going to start a dating rumor if you keep this up Min." You whispered back.
"Let people talk, how can I just stand by while my favorite girl freezes?" Your breath hitched a little at the comment, whispered so close to your ear you could almost feel his lips on your skin.
"Fair, but you have to deal with the staff if it becomes a problem." You sighed out, settling into his warm arms.
He was glued to you for the rest of the shoot.
~✨~
After getting home from the very fun, very cold, shoot, you decided to take a nice long hot shower and then maybe order some delivery when you got out.
You took your time in the shower until you were basically out of hot water then wrapped yourself in your fluffiest towel and went to the kitchen for some water. Your heart almost fell out of your ass and you let out a shriek when you walked by your living room and saw two people sitting on your couch.
"Y/NNIE My eardrums! Why did you have to scream so loud?" Jisung wailed from his spot on the couch.
"Yeah you baby it's just us damn." Minho scoffed. They both froze when they turned and saw you in just a towel, Minho's ears turning a fiery red and Jisung's eyes going wide. They both quickly looked away and started stammering out apologies, not realizing your state of dress. You let out a giggle at their reactions.
"Chill guys, you act like you've never seen a girl in a towel before, you just scared the shit out of me because I didn't know you were coming." They both let out a little laugh at that and relaxed a bit into the couch, still looking anywhere other than at your towel-clad form.
"Sorry, we wanted to surprise you with Kimchi Jjigae since you were so cold today and maybe watch some movies?" Jisung said quietly.
"You brought food? Ignore my previous complaints, Ji, Min, you are both angels who could do no wrong and I love you with all my heart! Let me put some clothes on then we can watch whatever you want yeah?"
"Yeah" "Sounds good" The boys yelled back as you went to your room to change.
You all spent the rest of the night tangled up on the couch watching shitty rom-coms
~✨~
The next morning after dance practice you get home and shower then realize that you're finally going to have a morning free the next day. Scrolling through your phone looking for things to do you come across a poster for the newest horror flick that's showing tonight. You screenshot it and drop it into the group chat titled "SoulBros" Jisung's idea.
SoulBros:
JiJi😘🥰😂: Oh hell no! That movie looks way too scary! Sorry love ur on ur own.
Min😈😘😜: Sorry I promised Lix I would help him with the new choreo.
🌝Bear: You both suck :/ Guess I'll go alone.
JiJi😘🥰😂: Noona ur so old just use emojis 😑
You laugh at Ji's dig; it is accurate. You guess it's time to pull out the big guns. You dial the number on your phone, and on the third ring, it picks up.
"Yes old lady?" You scoff at his (fake) disrespect.
"Minnie, I want to go see the new horror movie tonight because we have a free morning tomorrow but Ji is too scared to come and Minho is busy. Should I go alone?" You bite back your smile knowing what he is going to say.
Seungmin's voice cracks a bit over the phone call and you hear sheets rustling. "That new one about the witch in the woods? I've actually been wanting to see that too but everyone's too scared to come with me. I could go with you if you want?" You smile to yourself, you knew he wouldn't let you go to the movies alone, let alone to a horror film.
~✨~
"That was INSANE! I had no idea he had a brother the whole time!" You are bouncing up and down, filled with adrenaline from the movie.
"Yeah, that was a twist I actually didn't see coming. Pretty crazy." Seungmin is acting all calm but you know he enjoyed the movie as well.
"Hey Minnie, thanks for coming with me. I had a really fun time!" You say while ruffling his hair.
"Yeah yeah, like I said, I wanted to see it too."
"Hey wanna go grab some food before we go home? There's this hot pot spot nearby I've been dying to try!" You look at him with puppy-dog eyes and he lets out a sigh.
"Yeah I'm pretty hungry, and hot pot does sound amazing right about now."
~✨~
After stuffing your faces at the new hot pot place you finally made your way back home. Walking in you let out a long satisfied sigh and take off your shoes.
"Someone's home late." You nearly jump out of your skin at the grumbly voice coming from your living room.
"Jesus Fuck Min one of these days you're gonna give me a heart attack!" You yell out while grabbing a blanket from your armchair and bringing it to the couch where you unceremoniously plop down next to Minho who acts annoyed at your proximity but is quick to wrap an arm around you.
"Where were you? I've been here for like thirty minutes." He almost sounds… worried? Angry? You can't place it.
"Oh I just went to see that movie I texted you and Ji about then went and got some hot pot."
"Alone?"
"Oh no, Minnie came with me. Said he had been wanting to see the movie too but you know that kid, he just doesn't like me doing things alone." Minho grumbles something that you can't quite make out but then squeezes you to his side and turns on the TV.
"What was that Min?"
"I would've gone with you." He looks you dead in the eyes when he says it. You can't figure it out but it almost seems like he's mad at you?
"Well sorry Min, you said you were busy and I didn't know you wanted to see the movie too, I'd see it again if you wanted to go see it?" You try smiling at him to quell whatever was going on with him and it seems to work because he cracks a tiny smile and just pulls you closer to him while putting on the first shitty rom-com he sees.
~✨~
It was finally time for the next SKZCode! The staff didn't tell anyone what these episodes would be about but said you would all have fun.
You walked into the studio and saw a giant game board and war flashbacks of the last time you all played monopoly flashed through your mind. Images of Hyunjin screaming at Seungmin for putting a hotel on the most expensive rent on the board and Seungmin's shit-eating grin flashed through your mind.
The staff quickly explained the game and everyone got super excited. SoulRACHA was glued together any chance you got as per usual and everything was going great… until they announced the heart fluttering game.
Now, you wouldn't say your heart fluttered easily, if Felix had tried to get your heart racing you're sure you would be fine. Changbin? Piece of cake. Of course, you've never been very lucky.
You get paired with Minho. The expert at getting you worked up. (When you bicker! Get your mind out of the gutter.)
"Will you be able to hear what we say?" Minho tries to look innocent as he asks the question, but you can already feel the heat rising to your cheeks.
"Only if you speak loudly, we decided it would be more fun if STAY can't hear what you whisper to each other." One of the staff quickly explains.
Minho's grin turns sinister and a single thought crosses your mind.
I am so fucked.
Minho stalks toward you once the camera starts rolling and comes around behind you to wrap his arms around you like always. You can handle this, this is normal for you two. Your heart rate stays the same.
You feel him lean in until his lips are almost touching your ear.
"Hey there, little moon bear. This skirt you wore today is very pretty, did you wear it for STAY or for me?" He whispers so only you can hear. He is so close to you that you feel his breath tickling your ear.
The ears wiggle a little bit then settle. You can do this Y/N, Pull it together.
Minho notices and chuckles, pulling you tighter against him.
"I'm sure your pretty skirt would look even better with someone's hands underneath it."
You let out a gasp and the guys go wild. You know STAY's are going to have a field day with this footage. You are now squirming in Minho's tight grip, trying to escape his now searing hands, a burning flush spreading across your face.
Minho almost sounds surprised when he breathes out "Shit."
You think about his words and his arms wrapped around you all night.
~✨~
MinBear has become your official ship name from STAY's, after Minho's stunt during the last SKZCode STAY have been posting online about the possibility of you two dating.
You, Minho, and Jisung just laugh about it whenever it gets brought up and everything seems to go back to normal between you and Minho.
If you dream about him whispering those words in your ear at night, well that's just nobody's business.
~✨~
During the next SKZCode the staff decides to play into STAY's delusions and make you and Minho play husband and wife. The catch? Minho is the wife.
~✨~
"HAHAHA HYUNG, NOONA, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!" Innie's voice carries across the room when you and Minho walk into the room. Minho is in the brown wig from SKZ Family, a gaudy pink dress with far too many ruffles, and ballet flats with little pink bows on them while you are wearing a wig with a receding hairline (bye bye idol image), a flannel shirt, and blue jeans. The boys all burst out laughing when you two strike a pose and show off your "wedding rings" (they are blue raspberry ring pops).
"Hello everyone! I am Joe and this is my second wife Mindy!" You smile at the group and they all start howling with laughter one again.
You both decided to play into the roles WAY too much to hopefully show STAY that you two really are just best friends. You don't need the dating rumors to turn into a full blown scandal.
"Oh baby, dear, my loveliest little sunflower, who do you think is the killer?" You turn to Minho and try to hold back your laughter at seeing him wrestle with the ruffles that keep coming up from the collar and tickling his nose.
"Oh my handsome, manly, bravest lionheart, I think it was that barista for sure!" He looks up and bats his eyelashes at you for dramatic effect.
And for some reason, instead of spewing back some heinously cheesy line, you are struck with a totally unwelcome thought.
Minho is so Pretty.
What the fuck?
~✨~
The rest of the shoot goes by fairly quickly. It devolves into chaos, as things normally do with the nine of you. But the rest of the time you are a little more fidgety than usual. The unwelcome thought about your best friend Minho burrowing into your brain until it fully settles and the shoot is over and you are left with the realization that your best friend is pretty.
You'd rather not unpack that.
~✨~
A few weeks pass by and you successfully manage to bury your realization about Minho deep in your subconscious to the point where you haven't thought about it in two whole days! (That's impressive! Really! You initially thought about it at least five times a day… okay like five times an hour)
Finally the group had a whole weekend off! No SKZCode, no crazy schedules, just you, your two best friends, a mountain of takeout and snacks, and a movie marathon.
"Pass the popcorn Ji!" You made grabby hands at Jisung and he just laughed and passed over the bowl.
"Oi! Ya big babies scooch and make some room I wanna be in the middle." Minho yelled out, passing you both a soju bottle.
"Oooohh hyung you know me so well! I love the Strawberry soju!" Jisung grabbed his bottle, smiling up at Minho.
"And you got me yogurt flavored? You must really love us Min!" You smiled up at Minho.
Minho looked down at Jisung then over to you where his eyes lingered a beat too long. You held eye contact until it was a bit too much for you and you looked away. You heard Minho let out a small chuckle as he sat between you and Jisung.
"A toast! To my two best friends, Soulmates, and other cheesy shit!" Minho laughed while raising his own soju.
"To other cheesy shit!" You and Ji said in unison, toasting and gulping down some soju.
You three continued drinking and laughing and having a blast while the movies played in the background. At some point Minho had put his arms around you and Ji and the two of you were snuggling into him watching the movie. You were pulled out of your focus when you started to hear soft snoring coming from Minho's lap where Jisung's head was resting. You smiled and reached over to softly comb your fingers through his hair. You felt Minho softly chuckle under you and you lifted your head to meet his eyes where he was smiling down fondly at you and Ji.
"You two are so adorable, " he said softly, trying not to wake Jisung. You smiled, and your hazy mind decided that was the moment to open the box you had sealed shut weeks ago.
"You're so pretty Min." You all but whispered the words, but Minho heard you loud and clear. His breath lightly hitched and he raised his hand to stroke your cheek.
"You are so beautiful my little moon bear."
~✨~
Weeks passed and the movie night incident was never spoken of. The shared moment between you and Minho had been something so soft and intimate you were afraid of what you would say if he ever brought it up. But thankfully he never did. So you just went on with your life. Your schedule was about to get busy again anyway so there was plenty to keep it out of your mind… right?
~✨~
You can't get it out of your head. No matter what you do it is all you can think about and it is stressing you out. So you do what you do every time you get stressed.
You bake.
After gathering all the ingredients you snap a picture and send it off to Felix.
Y/nnie🤩🧁: [Photo Attached]
Lixxie🍰🍫: I'm on my way.
Felix knew you really only baked when you were stressed out since you never really had the time but the act made you calm down a bit so when he got the picture of all the baking supplies he must have known that you needed a friend because not even twenty minutes later there you were in your kitchen baking enough brownies to feed a small town.
"Soooo, you gonna tell me what brought this stress baking spree on?" He asked softly like he was coaxing a cat out from under the bed. You almost wanted to laugh.
"What gave me away?" You laughed.
"Well when you are baking just to bake you usually only make enough for the nine of us, this is enough to feed the whole company Y/nnie, so tell me what's going on?" You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding and put down your baking tools.
"Lix I don't even know what's going on to be honest. Things with one of my good friends have recently gotten a little…tense? Weird? I don't know. And I don't know if it's just me or if they are feeling it too you know?" Felix is looking at you like he knows exactly what you're talking about and you briefly panic wondering if he can read minds. Then he lets out a sigh and pulls you in for a hug. You melt into his familiar embrace and allow him to hold you while he slowly speaks.
"Things being weird between friends is never fun. In my experience the best way to fix things is through open communication. Just tell this person what you feel and see if they feel the same then go from there." He says while slowly stroking your hair.
"That's the issue Lix, I don't know what I am feeling."
"Ah, well that seems like a good place to start then yeah?"
~✨~
You haven't had time to think about what you and Lix had talked about. Between recording and practicing choreography you barely had time to eat let alone think. So you focused on work. For now.
The next scheduled SKZCode was going to be a haunted house.
Now here's the thing. Haunted houses are objectively not scary. HOWEVER, if someone with you jumps, you tend to jump as well. If someone screams, so do you. So if you are paired with a scaredy cat, you will get scared. And the staff love to make you seem extra cutesy since you are the only girl so of course you get paired with Minho and Jisung.
Jisung is going to get scared. You know in your heart that he is going to scream and he might even cry. Minho on the other hand is going to try and scare you and Ji, and it is going to work. You know this because the three of you have gone to haunted houses together before and that is exactly what happened.
So you resigned yourself to your fate.
~✨~
"Noona, hyung, I am so scared, what if a real monster snuck on set and is hiding with the staff members and it sees us and eats us?" Ji whimpered as he clung onto one of Minho's arms.
"Sungie that's silly, a monster wouldn't eat us here on camera, it would follow us home and eat us there so there was no proof!" Minho snickers as you whack his side.
"Don't scare our poor Ji any more than he already is Min! His poor little heart can't take it!" you hiss at him under your breath. Your slightly shaky voice gives away the fact that you too were getting scared.
"Oh relax y/nnie, Sungie and you are gonna be just fine with me here to protect you." Minho said softly while squeezing you a little more into his side.
Well that was new. He'd usually make fun of you for getting scared and try to rile you up even more. But his tone… it was the same one he had used during the movie night.
That was definitely something you didn't want to think about right now while you were on camera.
You continued through the haunted house, nothing really getting to you, until you opened one room and walked into complete darkness.
Your breath hitched and you clung to Minho a bit tighter. He responded by rubbing soothing circles onto your arm and pulling you a bit closer into his side.
The lights came on and a staff in a costume jumped out and scared you. You and Jisung started screaming and Minho flung himself in front of you. Your eyes widened at the gesture and you looked over to Jisung only to see him looking between you and Minho with a questioning look on his face. This was definitely going to cause a dating scandal if you didn't do something quick, so without skipping a beat you grabbed Jisung and dramatically clung to him. He seemed to get the message and reciprocated. The both of you clinging onto one another while yelling. The whole scene was honestly quite hilarious and adorable.
Minho seemed to come out of it and turned around to see his two best friends clinging onto one another dramatically and cracked a smile before full blown laughing at you two. You and Jisung slowly looked at one another and slowly detangled your limbs, then burst out laughing.
With the tension dissipated you all went through the rest of the haunted house without any further incidents.
Yet Minho's tone rang in your ears, reminding you of what he said last time
"You are so beautiful my little moon bear."
~✨~
The next SKZCode was coming up and the group had been gushing about it the whole time. A camping trip! You would get to play games with the guys, eat delicious food, and even go fishing! The catch? You would all be sleeping on the floor in the same room. Normally this would be no problem. You would cuddle up with Jisung and Minho and all would be good. Now though?
You decided to finally listen to Felix and figure out what you were feeling by laying out some facts.
Fact one: You think Minho is pretty, like unfairly pretty, but then again so does everyone else. So that could mean anything really.
Fact two: Minho acted really weird when you went to the movies with Seungmin, something you do very frequently. You have no clue what that was.
Fact three: When Minho whispered something dirty in your ear it caused something to flutter in you. He was just joking and trying to get your heart racing for the game so surely it meant nothing right?
Fact four: You called Minho pretty and he called you beautiful. You had said things like that before but never whispered and inches from each other's faces… That one… you don't know what to do with.
Fact five: You are clueless as to what all this means.
Cool. Well that was a waste of time.
~✨~
You and the boys piled out of the cars and started to get everything ready for the night. You split off into groups, people needed to go shopping, people needed to cook, people decided to do each other's hair? Not really sure what that has to do with camping but you, Minho, and Jisung gave each other silly little hairdos and everything was great. The day absolutely flew by and you were doing so great not thinking about the way Minho makes you feel.
Finally you were all seated around the campfire. Jisung got saddled with cooking everyone breakfast in the morning and even though he is your best friend you do not want to wake up early so you start to devise a plan to get out of it.
Chan peels Jisung a sweet potato to appeal to him. Damn that's hard to top. You are scrambling to come up with something to top that and miss what is being said until you hear Minho's voice.
"I won't be fake either. I love you."
Everyone burst out laughing at Minho's proclamation to Jisung but you feel… weird. You are looking between Jisung and Minho and there's this pit in your stomach, almost like…
No
No fucking way.
No way are you jealous right now.
Jisung and Minho are best friends just like you and Minho and you and Ji are… and yet…
Shit.
Everything starts to make sense, the bickering, the playful flirting, the butterflies in your stomach.
You have a huge fucking crush on Lee Minho.
As you come to this realization, you lock eyes with him from across the campfire. His smirk softens, and he gently smiles at you.
Oh fuck, what are you going to do?
~✨~
You all lay down for the night and as usual you are sandwiched between your two boys, not so usual, you are clinging to Ji like your life depends on it and are slowly scooting further from Minho's touch.
He giggles probably thinking you are messing with him and grabs your waist to pull you flush to him.
"Where do you think you're going, little moon bear?" He whispers into your ear.
You almost whimper. Almost. You manage to pull your shit together because you are all still on camera and make a show of grabbing for Jisung in front of you.
"I'm cold! I need Ji's heat or else I'll die in the night!" You say dramatically, trying to play it off. Minho must buy it because he remains silent behind you and the three of you get cozy before eventually falling asleep.
~✨~
You wake up in the morning With Minho's entire body wrapped around you. Jisung is trying to get up so he can go to the store with Chan.
"Noona, I've got to go so I can make you breakfast, promise I'll be back soon." Jisung laughs as you pout at him leaving you and you sigh and grumble. You are still a bit cold so you shimmy around so you are now facing Minho.
He is still asleep, so you allow yourself to look at him. You take in his cute little bunny teeth, the little mole on his nose, and his eyelashes fluttering. Oh, his eyes are open, and he caught you staring.
Well that's fucking embarrassing.
He just smiles and pulls you in a little tighter, looking back at you. His eyes pass from your eyes, to your nose, and down to your lips where he lingers for a moment too long. Then he looks back into your eyes.
"Good morning moon bear." He softly whispers. You feel his breath fan against your face and you try not to let your eyelashes flutter at the action.
"Good morning Min." You whisper back. His eyelashes do flutter and you have to hold yourself back from jumping to any conclusions. For a few moments you just gaze into each other's eyes in silence. Finally he reaches a hand up and brushes your cheek.
"Beautiful." It's the smallest whisper but you are barely an inch from his face so you catch it. Minho adjusts his hand so he is now cupping your cheek and your heart starts to hammer in your chest.
Is he about to kiss you?
"Min." It's a breathless whisper, you're so close to him now you're sure he felt it more than heard it.
"WHO WANTS RAMYEON?!" Jisung's voice wakes everyone up and the moment passes. Minho's eyes close and he seems to be frustrated.
You are dying inside.
Was he about to kiss you?
~✨~
The day passes too quickly. You all eat and play games and everything is totally normal on the surface. You have to be normal because you are being filmed. Minho doesn't act any differently, he certainly doesn't bring up the almost-maybe kiss. You decide that if he wants to talk about it then he will talk to you. So you do what you do best.
You perform for the camera and ignore your stupid feelings.
~✨~
You're full on spiraling at this point. Every time you close your eyes you see Minho gazing into your eyes, about to pull you in.
You shake your head. No, this isn't real. Your silly little crush is making you delusional. Minho wasn't going to kiss you, he just called you beautiful and held your face because… because… well you can't think of another explanation, but there must be one because it has been days and Minho hasn't brought it up and if he wanted to kiss you then surely he would have brought it up… right?
Fuck this.
The next SKZCode is coming up and you can just focus on that and not Minho's sparkling eyes, his plush lips, his little nose mole… Fuck. You are officially down bad.
Well you know what that means.
It's time to do something stupid.
~✨~
"Innie! I need your help!" You shout as you walk into the boys dorm. The brunette pops his head out of his door and looks you up and down.
"Yeah I'd say you definitely do." He says distastefully.
"Damn child who raised you?"
"Definitely not you Noona or I'd be dressing like a Target commercial."
You both burst out laughing at that.
"Fair point, but seriously, I need your opinion on what to wear for the next SKZCode."
"Oooh a fashion emergency? Of course you would come to me! Well come right in Noona, we will fix that god awful outfit you've got on in no time!"
He grabbed your hand and dragged you into the room.
"So are we going for Kawaii like usual or did you want to look like one of the guys? I know this is acrobatics so we are looking more toward athleisure type outfits." I.N. says all of this while digging through his closet looking for the stash of your clothes he hid in there.
"Well I was actually thinking I wanted to look… sexy?…" I.N. froze in his closet when you spoke. "I mean obviously not like crazy sexy or anything I just want to look really good you know? Not like a cute little girl and not boyish either. Does that make sense?" I.N. stood up and slowly turned to look at you with a Cheshire grin on his face.
"Noona. I have been waiting my whole life to hear you say those words."
~✨~
You look hot. Holy fuck you have never looked this good in front of the guys. Even at premieres and shows you've always been kawaii or dudebro to match the guys but this? The crop top Innie puts you in fits you in all the best ways, it's low cut enough to be provocative but not enough to be slutty. The back is cut out and it is the perfect shade for your skin tone. But the pants. My god your ass has never looked more smackable. It's like I.N. knew exactly who your target audience was. Your hair is done up in a cute ponytail with the little strands hanging out the front.
You look like sex on legs.
"Jesus Innie you're a god at this."
"I know, I take payment in food and coffee."
"Innie I'd buy you a five course meal for this shit god damn."
You both started laughing and he reached behind him to grab something.
"The final touch."
~✨~
You walked into the studio and it suddenly got very quiet. All the boys were looking at you with varying expressions.
"So? What do you all think? Didn't I do an amazing job?" I.N. grinned at the rest of the guys who were ranging from outright ogling you to shyly avoiding your gaze.
"Yeah Innie you did great." Chan was the first to speak and after that the compliments kept flowing from everyone except the one person you wanted.
Oh well. Onto phase two.
~✨~
You made sure to get a spot right in front of Minho so he could see the full extent of Innie's 'final touch'. A bow in your hair long enough to basically make a runway to the swell of your ass.
The episode went by pretty fast, you were actually having a lot of fun doing all the poses. You noticed when you did the mermaid pose Minho made a noise, a grunt? Maybe a gasp? Whatever it was you were certain your plan was working. Now all you had to do was actually talk to him about what you felt like Felix had recommended.
Once the episode was over you headed over to Minho.
"Hey, Min, you got a sec?" You put your hands behind your back to maximize the silhouette's effect.
"Actually no, sorry, I've got to get home, lots of stuff to get done. I'll text you later okay?" Minho was avoiding your eyes and shuffling from one foot to the other.
"Oh, okay… I guess I'll talk to you later?" You leaned your head down to catch his eye and when he finally locked eyes with you his gaze was searing and sent a chill down your spine.
"Yeah."
~✨~
Well that was fucking weird and definitely not the reaction you had been hoping for. Mr. Self proclaimed butt hunter didn't even attempt to slap your ass in these phenomenal leggings you wore just for him. You groaned into your pillow and allowed yourself to feel frustrated. Any time you had big feelings like this there was always one thing that helped.
You shot Hyunjin a text and after receiving a confirmation you headed to the art studio.
~✨~
Lo-fi music playing on the speaker, a nice hot cup of coffee sitting next to you, and a medium blank canvas sat in front of you, what more could you want? You let the atmosphere wash over you as you tried to use your frustration to create a work of art.
You have no idea how much time has passed, you never do when you're painting with Hyunjin. You could occasionally hear his soft humming and brush-strokes glide across his canvas.
Time with Hyunjin always seemed to calm you down. Maybe it was the chill playlist he favored for the occasion, maybe it was the smell of coffee in the air, or maybe it was the way he simply existed with you in the moment, not requiring you to engage.
You added the final touches on the canvas and nodded to yourself.
"Hyune?" Hyunjin hummed in response.
"What do you think of this one?" You gestured to the finished piece in front of you. Hyunjin stood up and stretched before coming over to admire your work.
"It feels… lonely. Like you are reaching for something in the distance but it's too far away for you to grasp." You simply hummed in response and Hyunjin laid his head on your shoulder.
"I like it Y/N, it's…" He went silent for a moment before sighing and wrapping his arms around you.
"It's beautiful."
~✨~
Weeks had passed since the failed seduction attempt on your part and Minho had been annoyingly 'busy' so you hadn't really seen him outside of your work schedule. The distance was getting to you and you started to wonder if you had done something wrong. Minho had never gone this long without reaching out to hang out or simply showing up at your apartment in years. You couldn't shake the feeling that he was avoiding you and it hurt. A lot. That hurt turned to borderline anger when you saw on Ji's story that he and Minho were having a movie night.
Without you.
You checked the group chat to see if you had missed an invite but there hadn't been a message in over a week since Ji had sent you both a cat meme. Maybe Minho noticed your attempt at flirting and decided that ghosting you was better than outright rejection? Even if that was the case the two of you were both close with Ji and not to mention your co-workers, so how could he just cut you out like that? Jisung hadn't even mentioned the movie night and that hurt you too.
Were you losing both your best friends because you had some stupid feelings?
You felt yourself starting to spiral but before you hit the point of no return you took some calming breaths and closed your eyes. You could not break, not now, you had a busy schedule coming up so you focused on that instead.
Thankfully, it was time to film the next SKZCode so at least you got to do something fun. You prepared yourself to get into the Christmas spirit.
~✨~
The staff welcomed you all in and explained the premise of the episode. You were all going to play games and try and win someone over to end up partnered by the end. You immediately thought of MinBear and how much STAY would love to see the two of you end up together before remembering that you and Minho were currently fighting.
Okay maybe not fighting but it's not like you are exactly on speaking terms. The only communication you'd had in weeks was him correcting you in dance practice.
You couldn't go to Ji either, You were mad at him too. Okay mad is maybe an overstatement but you were definitely not happy.
That left the obvious choice.
You decided to set your sights on Felix. You figured the kawaii image you were presenting mixed with his sunshine would be adorable for STAY. To your credit it works pretty well… for about five minutes. You're not sure what exactly happened but one minute you were fake-flirting with Lix, trying to match up with him, the next he is shyly moving away from you and talking to Hyunjin.
You're confused to say the least, that is until you feel soft breaths on your neck.
"Awh are you eating all alone little moon bear? Don't worry, I'll sit with you." You fight the shudders that threaten to run down your spine hearing Minho's voice so close to you after him being so distant for so long.
"Oh, so you're talking to me now huh Min?" You mean to sound angry but it barely masks the hurt in your softly spoken words. You look down at your lap to hide the tears welling up in your eyes.
Minho goes quiet for a moment then gently pulls your face up, angled away from the camera so STAY couldn't see your tear-laden eyes. A small gasp comes from his mouth.
"Jagi…" He softly whispers before hugging you tight to his chest. "Y/N, sweetheart, why are you crying?" He whispers in your hair to shield his lips from the camera.
"It's nothing Min, I'm okay. Let's just keep eating or STAY will worry about us."
"I don't care if STAY worries, my favorite girl is crying and I'm going to comfort her." You pull away a bit at his words to look into his eyes.
"I'm still your favorite girl?" You whisper the question and you hear Minho's small sound of disbelief at your question.
"Of course jagiya, you've always been my favorite girl. Let's talk more after the skit yeah?"
"Okay."
~✨~
Minho makes sure to stick by your side the rest of the shoot. The two of you end up a pair at the end and as you walk out of the room, prepared to head to the recording studio you are surprised when Minho leads you out the door instead.
"Min, where are we going? Channie oppa told us to go to the recording booth after the shoot."
"I texted him and told him that you needed the afternoon off because you weren't feeling well and that I was going to come take care of you. He said it was okay, so I'm taking you home."
"Oh, okay then."
You both remain silent as you approach the company car and Minho opens the door for you and you both slide in. The ride is unusually quiet for the two of you and you are worried that Minho might be mad at you for something and the longer the silence continues, the higher your anxiety spikes.
By the time you reach your apartment you have over-analyzed every interaction the two of you have had over the past few weeks and you have convinced yourself that Minho actually just hates you and is taking you home to break the news in private so none of the cameras catch you crying again.
You are panicking. You can't lose him because of some stupid attraction you may feel. He is one of your best friends and losing him would be devastating.
Once you reach the door of your apartment you are so close to having a panic attack that your hands start shaking as you try to insert your key into the lock. Minho stands and waits while you shakily unlock and open the door. Once you are inside you are frozen in place waiting for the worst.
Then Minho gathers you in his arms and holds you tight.
"It's okay jagi, you're safe here." He whispers as he starts rubbing soothing circles on your back. You don't even realize you are crying again until he lifts your head by your chin and wipes your tears away. You smile softly and Minho returns it.
You are okay. He is not mad at you. Everything is alright.
"Come on sweetheart, let's go cuddle on the couch and watch a shitty rom-com."
You silently nod and he leads you both to the couch. You sit, his arms still wrapped around you as he guides you to rest your head on his chest. You both stay like that as he starts up one of your favorite movies.
You both watch the movie, Minho rubbing soothing circles on your skin while you nuzzle into his warmth. It is quiet for some time until Minho lets out a deep sigh.
"I'm sorry I made you worry Y/N, I really was busy and some things came up and I just needed a guys night with Ji, I hope you understand I am not mad at you and you are still my favorite girl." Minho's words made you smile and you sunk further into his embrace.
"It's okay Min, I guess I just felt left out and it messed with me for a minute but I get it. We are good." You looked up into his eyes and in a whisper added:
"Promise."
~✨~
There was an electric feeling in the air. You and the boys were beyond excited for your second world tour. This time you were going to go back to Chan and Felix's home country. The two aussies had spent entirely too much time teaching you and the boys all the important aussie slang you would need and helping you all with your English.
The Maniac tour was set to be your biggest endeavor as a group yet. Minho was drilling the choreo into everyone relentlessly and often spent his free time one-on-one helping each member who asked. Ji was always in the studio with his fellow 3Racha members to ensure everything was perfect. And you? You were spending every free moment you could with Felix trying to perfect your English so you could communicate with the international STAYs.
It was overwhelming but you all pushed yourselves to the limit because you wanted to be amazing for STAY.
Finally the day came and it was time for your first concert.
The lights were blinding and the stadium was so loud you could barely hear yourself think.
It was exhilarating.
The concert went by so fast and you had such a great time with your fellow members.
You were still in Seoul but it all felt new, you couldn't believe you and your boys had made it this far.
The next two shows flew by and your time in Japan was short. You and the boys tried your best to keep filming your logs for the STAYs who couldn't make it to the shows. Everything was amazing.
Finally it was time to head overseas to America. U.S. STAYs were much louder than your STAYs back home. The atmosphere was incredible and you all had the time of your lives performing in the U.S. again. You and the boys tried to speak as much English as you could but it is a hard language for you all so you relied heavily on the aussies for translation help.
In between shows you, Ji, and Min would hole up in one of your hotel rooms and gush about how much fun this all was and how excited you all were to finally go to Australia. You would watch bits of movies before ultimately passing out in a cuddle pile on someone's bed, only to wake up and repeat the next day.
The days flew by and before you knew it it was time to hop on a plane headed to Chan and Felix's home. You all made sure you had time planned to meet their families and have a good time while in the land down under.
When you arrived at the hotel to check in, the staff found out that there was a mistake and only seven rooms had been booked. Someone must have thought Chan and Felix were staying with their families but they simply lived too far from the concert venues. After a very long flight and eager to sleep off your jet lag, everyone was too tired to argue about who would be sharing rooms until Minho spoke up.
"Y/N, Ji, and I have kinda been sharing this whole tour anyway, we may as well just share a room from the get-go if that is okay with everyone else?"
The staff looked bewildered at Minho's suggestion. A girl sharing a room with two boys? That's quite unusual. But the other members were used to you three having slumber parties all the time back home and just shrugged it off insisting that if you were fine with it so were they.
So, you three headed up to your shared room.
~✨~
"Ugh, I could sleep for like a week at this point." Jisung groaned out before promptly falling face-first onto the nearest bed to him.
"Yah! Hannie, you know I like sleeping further from the door, give Y/N that bed and you and I can share the other." Minho glared at the younger boy already getting comfortable in the bed.
"Hyuuuunnnggg I'm already in this one though." Jisung whined out and sank further under the covers.
"Min it's okay, Ji can have that bed and you and I can just share the other. I prefer being close to the window anyway." You said sleepily before heading over to the far bed and setting up your stuff on the nightstand.
"Are you sure Y/nnie? I can kick the lazy quokka out if you'd prefer a bed to yourself."
"I'm sure Min, we all have been sleeping on one bed almost every night of the tour anyway, I'm kind of used to having someone next to me anyway." You shrugged and gathered your sleep clothes.
"I'm gonna go shower real quick, airplanes always make me feel greasy, either of you need to use the bathroom before I go?" You asked the two. Jisung had already passed out and you and Minho just laughed at the sleepy boy before Minho looked up at you.
"No, you're all good. I'll shower after you too so our bed doesn't get gross like Sungie's." You both started laughing and you went to the bathroom and hopped in the shower.
While in the shower you let your thoughts roam. You had been so busy with the tour and Jisung had been stuck with you and Minho the whole time as well so you hadn't had time to think about your maybe-feelings for Minho. Now you were confronted with the fact that while you all were here there would be no escaping to your own room if things got too weird for you.
Not just that but you were sharing a bed with him.
You and Minho had slept in the same bed many times but you were almost always accompanied by Jisung as well. Now it would just be the two of you…
It won't be weird if you don't make it weird.
Right?
~✨~
You finally got out of the shower and changed into your pajamas. After doing your skincare you came out of the bathroom and stopped in place when you looked up and saw a shirtless Minho standing in the middle of the room. His back was facing you and you took a second to admire his strong shoulder muscles down to the dip in his back, just above the hem of his shorts. You could've stood there staring forever but when Minho started to pull down his shorts you made a small noise, something between a whimper and a groan. Minho stiffened and dramatically turned toward you with a hand over his pecs.
"Y/N! Sorry! I didn't hear you come out. I was going to change into my robe before going in after you. Sorry about that. I'll just… bring it with me." The tips of his ears were a fiery red and you're sure you were no better. You could feel yourself flushing and you quickly looked down and nodded as he passed by you and quickly went into the bathroom to shower.
Well that didn't help your situation.
You crawled into bed and tried to calm yourself down but every time you closed your eyes you just saw a shirtless Minho again. You lightly groaned and turned your body away from the bathroom and tried to will yourself to fall asleep before Minho came back so you didn't have to face him.
Of course that didn't work. You had been so tired when you got here but now you were like a live wire and you knew that sleep would not come easily.
When Minho returned from his shower he said nothing as he slowly climbed into the bed next to you. It was quiet for a moment before he broke the silence.
"Sooo… do you want to cuddle?" He said it slowly and quietly and you internally screamed. There is no way you would fall asleep if Minho was touching you… and yet.
"Yeah, that sounds nice." You quietly answered.
Minho scooted closer to you and wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you tightly.
"Is this good?" He whispered. You could feel how close he was when he spoke, his breath tickling your ear.
"Yeah, it's perfect."
You were so fucked.
~✨~
Just as you thought, it took you forever to fall asleep. However, when you woke up you felt completely relaxed, you had somehow gotten the best night's sleep you had had in a very long time. You slowly came to consciousness and the first thing you noticed was a hair on your face tickling your nose. You realized there was some sort of breeze on your face, cracking an eye open and you bit back a squeak at the sight before you.
You had shifted in the night and were now, yet again, face-to-face with a sleeping Minho. His arms were wrapped tightly around you and your legs were tangled. He was beautiful like this. Soft breaths coming out from him as he peacefully slept. You stared at him in wonder and decided that a few more moments of this wouldn't hurt.
After some time passed Minho eventually began to stir. He groaned and hugged you a bit tighter before opening his eyes. You were both quiet, allowing the peaceful moment in an otherwise chaotic few months. You softly smiled and he returned it.
"G'morning jagi." He whispered, trying not to break the peaceful atmosphere the two of you were caught in.
"Good morning sleepyhead." You softly chuckled and he giggled in return, nuzzling slightly closer to you.
"I could get used to this, you know?" He whispered, now inches from your face. You breath hitched at his comment and before you could respond there was a loud banging on your door.
"YAH WAKE UP LAZY BUMS IT'S TIME TO GET READY!" Chan's voice rang out and Minho groaned, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. You heard Jisung yelp from the other bed at Chan's command.
"Time to go." Minho groaned.
~✨~
The next few days were a blur. The Aussie STAYs were crazy. The concerts were so much fun but you were all so exhausted that by the time you got back to the hotel it took all of your energy to shower before crawling back into bed.
You and Minho slept in each other's arms every night.
Once the concerts were over you were all invited to the Bang residence for dinner. All nine of you laughed and ate and bonded with Chan's family. It was amazing and you never wanted it to end, but eventually it was time to go. You and Hannah exchanged numbers, her saying you needed a girl friend being surrounded by the eight loud boys all the time. You laughed and agreed, saving her number immediately.
You would cherish the time you got to spend in Australia forever.
~✨~
The rest of the tour flew by, the nine of you really giving it your all and after months it was finally time to come back home. You were so excited to sleep in your own bed again and get back into your normal crazy schedule.
The first few nights back home were odd. You couldn't fall asleep no matter how tired you were. You assumed it was just the jet lag but after days of bad sleep you were ready to snap.
It was a normal day filled with dance practice and small photoshoots but you were so exhausted you felt like you were going to fall over at any minute. You noticed Minho looked dead tired as well. You wondered if he was having trouble adjusting as well.
After your schedule was done for the day you decided to take a nice walk to try and calm your mind. After walking up and down the Han rivers shore a few times you decided it was time to head home.
You entered your apartment to the sound of the TV on and smiled.
"To what do I owe this pleasure?" you jokingly asked the boy on your couch.
"I've been sleeping like shit and decided to see if it's my bed or just me so I came to stay here if that's cool with you?" Minho didn't look away from the TV as he spoke.
"You're always welcome here Min you know that. Wanna order takeout?" You plopped next to him on the couch and leaned on his shoulder.
"Already got your favorite from that one place with the noodles you like." He wrapped an arm around you and turned on yet another shitty rom-com for you two to watch. You let out a hum of approval and sank into his embrace before answering.
"Thanks Min, you're the best."
"Anything for my favorite girl."
You and Minho sat in content silence until the food came. You both ate as much as you could handle before settling back to finish your movie. Once it was over you stretched and yawned, feeling more exhausted than you had in a long time. Minho smiled at you and reached out for your hand.
"You look exhausted, let's head to bed."
You sleepily nodded and took his hand. He led you to your room where you both climbed into bed and he gathered you into his arms just like he had back in Sydney. You both let out a content sigh at the contact and before you knew it you were out.
You slept like the dead. You didn't realize how much you missed Minho's presence until you had it once again. After that there was an unspoken agreement between the two of you to share a bed until further notice. You loved the contact but the longer it continued the more your feelings grew.
You think you might be falling in love with your best friend and for the first time you think you might be okay with that.
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kaiyunsim · 2 months ago
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pairing : best friend!taesan x gn!reader
summary : you find youself caught in the subtle whirlwind of unrequited love with someone and one-sided pining.
warnings : ANGST! holy angst, love bombing, maybe more
a/n : “christmas is coming” !! another niki inspired fic :3
songs queued ! : split - niki, oceans and engines - niki, drivers liscence - olivia rodrigo
— w/c : about 1k — not proof read ! —
taesan : online
the early spring sun filtered through the large windows of the university café, illuminating taesan’s face as he smiled. the warm light softened his sharp features, making him look effortlessly beautiful, as if he belonged in a painting. you tried not to stare too long, shifting your focus to the steaming cup of coffee in your hands.
“you’re so easy to hang out with,” taesan said suddenly, his voice cutting through the soft hum of the café. it was the boy you were crushing on for 2 years.
you blinked, caught off guard. “what?”
he grinned, leaning forward on his elbows. “i mean it. it’s like, no matter what we do, it’s always fun when i’m with you.”
your heart skipped a beat, warmth spreading through your chest. “you’re exaggerating,” you said, trying to laugh it off.
“i’m not,” he insisted, his gaze locking with yours. “you’re just… different. in a good way.”
you looked away, heat rising to your cheeks. moments like this were what made it so hard to walk away, even when you knew better.
“so,” taesan continued, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease, “what do you want to do today? we’ve got the whole day to ourselves.”
it was rare to have a day like this, just the two of you. your schedules usually didn’t align, and taesan was always surrounded by friends or admirers. but he had texted you the night before “free tomorrow. wanna hang out? just us?” and you’d jumped at the chance.
“i don’t know,” you said, forcing a smile. “what do you feel like doing?”
taesan tilted his head, his eyes sparkling with something playful, almost teasing. “come on, y/n. don’t make me decide everything. you always have the best ideas.”
he reached out suddenly, brushing his fingers against the edge of your sleeve. “you’re too modest, you know that? you should give yourself more credit.”
you felt your breath hitch at the contact, his words settling over you like a warm blanket.
“i heard there’s a new vinyls at the records store,” you offered, trying to steady your voice. “we could check it out.”
taesan’s face lit up, his enthusiasm palpable. “perfect. let’s go.”
the store was quieter than you expected, the echo of damp music filled the rooms. taesan walked ahead, stopping occasionally to inspect a disc. every so often, he’d glance back at you with a mischievous smile, like he was silently inviting you into his world.
at one point, he paused in front of an vinyl by earth, wind, and fire, splashed with bold reds and blacks. “do you like this one?” he asked, gesturing to it.
you shrugged, stepping closer. taking a listen to it through on of the portable players the store provides.“it’s nice. calm and nostalgic. i would definitely listen to it again”
taesan nodded thoughtfully, his gaze fixed on the cover. “it sounds nice. something that i enjoy over time.”
then he turned to you, his expression softening. “kind of like how i feel when i’m with you.”
your heart stuttered, and you stared at him, unsure if you’d heard him correctly.
“don’t look at me like that,” he said, laughing, though his voice held a warmth that made your chest ache. “i’m just saying the truth. you’re good to have around, y/n.”
you managed a small smile, even as his words carved deeper into the fragile hope you tried to ignore.
lunch was at a small, tucked-away diner taesan insisted on visiting. over plates of beautifully served sushi, he regaled you with stories about his latest escapades which were really just late-night study sessions, group projects that went horribly wrong, as well as music he had been producing.
“you always know how to make me laugh,” he said at one point, shaking his head in amusement. “seriously, what would i do without you?”
your stomach flipped, the sincerity in his voice making it harder to stay grounded.
“probably the same things you’re already doing,” you replied, trying to keep your tone light.
“no way,” he shot back, leaning across the table slightly. “you make everything better, y/n. don’t sell yourself short.”
he reached out then, brushing a crumb off your sleeve. the gesture was so casual, so natural, but it sent your heart racing.
“you’re quiet today,” he said, his tone softening. “everything okay?
you hesitated, unsure how to answer. how could you explain the weight of feelings you’d carried for so long, feelings you knew he’d never fully return?
“i’m fine,” you lied.
by the time the sun began to set, the day felt like a dream slowly slipping through your fingers. the park was almost empty, save for a few joggers and dog walkers, the horizon painted in hues of orange and pink.
taesan leaned back on the grass, his hands tucked behind his head, while you sat beside him, arms wrapped around your knees.
“this is nice,” he murmured, closing his eyes.
you watched him, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the faint smile on his lips. it was moments like these that made everything harder, moments where you almost let yourself believe there was something more between you.
“taesan,” you began, your voice trembling.
he opened one eye, glancing at you with a hint of curiosity. “hmm?”
you swallowed hard, your heart pounding. “do you ever think about… us?”
he frowned slightly, propping himself up on one elbow to face you. “what do you mean?”
you looked down at your hands, unable to meet his gaze. “i mean… do you ever think about what we are? what we could be?”
the silence that followed was deafening.
“y/n…” taesan’s voice was gentle, almost apologetic.
you braced yourself, already knowing what was coming.
“i care about you so much,” he continued, “but i don’t think i can give you what you’re looking for.”
his words felt like a punch to the chest, the air leaving your lungs in one sharp exhale. you nodded, forcing a smile you knew didn’t reach your eyes.
“it’s okay,” you said, your voice barely audible. “i just… i needed to know.”
taesan reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder. the gesture was meant to be comforting, but it only made the ache in your chest worse.
“you mean so much to me,” he said softly. “i hope you know that.”
you nodded again, unable to speak.
that night, as you lay in bed staring at the ceiling, your phone buzzed on the nightstand. it was a message from taesan.
“i hope you’re okay. let me know if you want to talk.”
you stared at the screen, your chest tightening. the rational part of you knew he cared in his own way, that he didn’t mean to hurt you. but that didn’t make it any easier.
for the first time, you didn’t reply.
instead, you turned off your phone and curled up under the covers, tears slipping silently down your cheeks.
you knew this was the end of the lingering hope you’d clung to for so long. there would be no magical moment of realization, no shift in the way he saw you.
and while the thought of letting go felt unbearable, you knew it was the only way to start healing.
because staying would only break you further.
taesan : blocked
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bloodpen-to-paper · 1 year ago
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Gonna throw my hat into the ring here, as someone who very recently had a streamer they loved and supported go down for serious allegations and crimes. Feel free to skip around my long ass response, I'll break it down into parts:
---Public Reception
Part of the reason I despise these situations is because people online don't ever know enough to make 100% accurate assessments, but will act like they do anyway (I don't care if its authoritarian, I want a bill where people on Twitter can't post about drama until after at least 5 minutes of being forced to critically think). Having said that, here's my opinions on how everything should go forward:
-Shelby shared her story in order to spread awareness on domestic abuse and the signs, so that others can read those signs and keep themselves safe (or leave an actively abusive situation they've been convincing themselves isn't that bad). That is the priority here, that is what people should be focusing on. If you make this situation about stirring drama with the other CCs, you're a dumbass and you need to stop posting. Give support to Shelby, uplift the voices of women like her sharing their stories, spread awareness on what domestic abuse can look like so everyone can learn, and wait for more information. Its that simple.
-CCs don't owe statements for conflicts they weren't involved in. Philza, Tommy, Quackity, Charlie, and other CCs close to Wilbur who aren't part of this don't owe you an explanation. They're people, they're most likely having to come to terms with the fact that a dear friend, someone who could've been like family, isn't who they thought he was. Have a fucking heart and cut it with the parasocial entitlement. I'm hoping Quackity will remove Wilbur from the Qsmp, but just like with Forever, he probably won't make a big announcement of it, and that's perfectly ok. I understand wanting to make sure you're not supporting a CC who would defend someone guilty of committing domestic abuse, but its still not your right to get anything from these people. If they share, they share. If not, then they don't. If you can't handle that, then leave.
-Having said the above, its worth noting that CCs aren't just a fun group of friends, they're coworkers. Much of what they say publicly and when they say it can be shaped or restricted by situations that can affect their careers or get them in legal trouble. You don't know these people personally or what goes on behind the scenes, its a network and you can't measure their responses the same way you would your own opinion piece. The CCs will always need to be careful about how they respond to an issue, and they will most likely respond in "safe" ways considering what's on the line. Not accusing anyone of anything, nor demonizing them for it, just something to keep in mind. They're human, but they're also working a job.
-If you have Lovejoy or Wilbur-related merch, DON'T THROW IT AWAY OR DESTROY IT. I've seen lots of people pointing out merch can be donated to thrift shops or shelters, and its more eco-friendly than burning or trashing. Remember, anything can be repurposed; a book, a hoodie, there's always someone who can find a use for it. Likewise if you want to keep your old merch, that's fine to. You can wear it if it brings you comfort, or if its something you just like the look of. As long as you're not supporting the source, you already have the merch so don't let people pressure you into thinking you're bad for keeping it if you're not ready to let go/throw away those $70.
---My Opinion Regarding His Response
Everyone and their cousin has been dogpiling on Wilbur's response (rightfully), but I think people online don't understand how public responses work when there's legal team and PR interference. The tweet for me had a weird lack of personal touch and emotion from the guy I've observed to be very personal in his writings, whether its his music or a community post about a life update (blah blah parasociality I know, but I'm letting you know the observations I've made of his behavior simply as someone who notices these things). He also never explicitly stated Shelby's name, rather saying "that person" (you even had the textbook 'black text on a blank white background' screenshotted response). Finally, there was a consistent standing on Wilbur 'not being aware of how the other person really felt' regarding his actions. What I'm trying to say is... y'all really gotta start putting two and two together. Its a textbook PR response. As in, I'd be surprised if Wilbur had over 50% involvement in making it because the wording is exactly how it reads when a response has been initiated by someone's lawyers rather than themselves. The reason he doesn't take more accountability and openly admit to having abused Shelby (other than the obvious public backlash) is probably cause his lawyers are banking on the feigning ignorance angle, that Wilbur didn't intentionally abuse Shelby and was ignorant to how his actions affected her. Its the best way to get him out of hot water on the legal side, because again, this isn't messy drama; its a genuine accusation of a crime. I don't think the response is tone deaf and unaware, I think its a deliberate and measured legal move not even fully created by Wilbur himself. This isn't to say I think he's innocent, but I do know that Shelby and others have brought up some serious accusations, and Wilbur is lawyering up as a result.
---Nuance
Prefacing this part by saying that things are not looking good for Wilbur in regards to what other CCs have brought up about him, and I fully believe and support Shelby, hence why I support that the community should start distancing from him and his work. But I would like to take this opportunity to look into the greater aspects at play. We are within a system that brings up men to do what they want without teaching them to be considerate and aware of the consequences. Men are taught their harmful behavior is perfectly fine, often at women's expense, which makes these situation a very different story depending on who's telling it. Its because of this that we need to critically analyze the system and how it causes men to turn out as they do, instead of giving an immediate opinion without any nuance.
There's a possibility that Wilbur is being genuine in not realizing how bad his actions were. There's a possibility he truly is a manipulative liar who knew exactly what he was doing. He could be a piece of shit. He could be genuinely trying to improve and do better. We don't know. I'd say its pretty cut and dry that he hurt Shelby, and for that I'm glad she's getting justice for herself and spreading awareness. But if we're to entertain the idea of redemption, we need to look at situations like these with nuance so that we can understand the "why". I'm not trying to justify Wilbur's actions or even give him the benefit of the doubt, I have no idea what's going on in that guy's head. I'm just putting this out there because its something I want everyone to think about, especially when it comes to topics regarding narcissism and mental health issues. Don't support him or Lovejoy, just keep something like this in mind for the future.
---The Community/Now Displaced Fans
To everyone who's immediately telling Wilbur's fans (the ones that don't support his actions and are actively mourning no longer being able to enjoy his stuff) to just listen to other music or move on, and who are celebrating each negative new thing that comes out about Wilbur's current status, sincerely, shut the fuck up. You are completely lacking in empathy or emotional intelligence, and what you're doing is the last thing the community needs. Wilbur and his work could have and for many did get fans through some of their hardest moments, and losing that wonderful sense of community you get from streamers and their work (especially with the roleplay stuff) is awful. It fucked me up losing that after almost a year, for some of his fans its been even longer.
If you're a (former) fan of his, its ok to feel like shit. We're human, we get attached and we grieve losing something like this because that's how capable we are of loving. Take your time, as long as you know where to stand (supporting Shelby and raising awareness on domestic abuse), you're doing good. You can keep enjoying his characters and work and making content about it, separating the art from the artist (though don't stream his music from platforms that would give him the money, find a way to pirate it).
This sucks. I feel it as a casual fan who was once hugely into his content, I can imagine what its like for those who were huge supporters all the way up until now. You didn't do anything wrong supporting someone you thought was a good person, its just a thing that happens and its so fucking shitty. You ain't alone though, I know some of you have that knee-jerk reaction to avoid anything to do with him but reaching out to others in the community and actually processing it all is way better, you won't be bottling it all up. Don't be afraid to continue engaging with this part of your life until you're ready to move on from it in your own time, and be kind to yourself. From someone who went through exactly what you are now, trust me, you'll get through it.
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cherishmii · 7 months ago
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Starbound !
⟢ In the field of online streaming, an introverted indie streamer, known for her quiet nature, has never collaborated before. So why now? Fans wonder why she avoids collaborations — is she simply an odd one out? When she finally accepts an invite to a show, unknowingly the guest host is a popular but grumpy streamer who often collaborates due to his company, unexpected sparks fly as she discovers the guest host might just be her future boyfriend. Nevertheless, things changed as they found out why she truly has never collaborated before.
Scaramouche x yn (you)
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❝When I look through your eyes, I see my future with you. Are you sure we aren't bound by the stars?❞
❝The stars are bound; bounded by the stars are we, my dear.❞
→ Starbound
- SMAU / CHAT FIC
MADE BY: cherishmii
Picture is made by me! Dividers are not made by me... Credits to them! Writing is made by me and me only. ♡
INSPIRED BY: zoropookie — How haters are born ventismacchiato — just playing the part!
WARNING: Matured words, Cussing, Angst, Toxicity and adult topics! English isn't my first languange, so please feel free to correct my grammar or spelling!
STATUS: started — 7/18/2024 ! on going
DISCLAIMER: I made these for fun so don't take anything seriously! This is my first time using tumblr as well as writing a smau so bare with me...
enjoy reading!
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MASTERLIST /ᐠ - ˕ -マᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
click the text to see the following...
☆ Yn's group - Birds of a feather
★ Scara's group - Inazuma
✧Prologue
ACT 1: "I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone".
⟢ chapter I : Babysteps except no babies
⟢ chapter II : so there's this river in egypt...
⟢ chapter III : u stayed longer than my dad did
⟢ chapter IV: tba...
⟢ chapter V: tba...
⟢ chapter V: tba...
⟢ chapter VI: tba...
⟢ chapter VII: tba...
⟢ chapter VIII: tba...
⟢ chapter IX: tba...
⟢ chapter X: tba...
Taglist please comment below if you wanna be added!
★ TAGLIST (,,>ヮ<,,)! : rq still open!
@vxcmx @quacking-simp @sketcheeee @xionri @moonjellyfishie @raineyun @yuemirala @cheriswag @trulyylee @mercy-not-merci @animeobsessed56 @d4y-dr3am3r @wvvyq
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slaaverin · 3 months ago
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Jimin and the Devil perspective
I just wanted to expand some of my thoughts on Jimin and the way he may perceive his relationship with Jungkook in the lense of the Devil card that showed up in their last BMP relationship reading.
It's gonna be all over the place sorry in advance.
I always take readings with a grain of salt of course, not at face value, but it's interesting to try and analyze stuff with this potential perspective in mind.
If Jimin truly sees their relationship in the lense of the Devil, if explains a lot of fucking things about his behaviour in general these last few years. It actually makes a lot of sense.
Like why he has been holding back so much.
I don't want to make two cents psychology on Jimin, I don't pretend to be in his head, I don't pretend to know the truth, it's only my opinion and intuition and I might be completely wrong about all of this 🤡 So take of it what you will.
But guys it actually truly saddens me to say this, but I think a part of why he might see the relationship as the Devil is because Jimin still can't truly believe Jungkook is in love with him. He knows he does, but like there is a deep insecurity underneath all of it that makes it, improbable? Surprising? To him still.
That's why everytime Jungkook says something incredibly romantic or cheesy or grandiose (like "until we are 50") Jimin first reaction is disbelief ("This guy..?"). Yes of course it's also because they are in public. But in fact both factors are linked in the Devil perspective.
Jimin has always put everyone above himself, has always been the caretaker of the group, but also the caretaker for Jungkook when he was growing up. Even if the dynamic changed these days, in his mind he still needs to take care of Jungkook, it's still his job even if JK is an adult now ("as long as you are happy" "all for your happiness").
Who offered to make the AYS first trip? Jimin. And why did he do so? Probably because he saw how utterly miserable Jungkook was, he saw that Jungkook needed this, needed to spend time away from schedule but also together with him. So he catered to his needs.
I'm not saying Jimin didn't need it.
Jimin deeply loves Jungkook, he has loved him almost immediately after they met, Jungkook is the man he's wanted since day one, of course he needs him.
He loves the attention he has from Jungkook. He loves that Jungkook is his. He loves having his name on JK's chest. But Jimin has such a big heart he puts Jungkook first because he still feels he needs to be the caretaker, and that's why he needs to be the responsible one, the reasonable one, the cautious one. And they need to be careful, not for his own sake, but for Jungkook's sake.
He's so used to put others above himself that it seems he doesn't even know how to take a compliment properly. He avoids it. And he's honored to have JK's food, it's an honor to him for JK to do nice things for him. When something is an honor, it's because you place the other person in high standard right?
Did you have fun? It's all that matters. All for YOUR happiness. Jimin doesn't even think about himself for one second. This isn't even about him.
We know how much hate Jimin has been receiving online for years now. That's why he has been away from socmed and that's why he doesn't share any truly personal stuff with us anymore. We can assume he read the hate, he knows the hate, and the hate hurt him in a way for him to pull back this much.
So that's why he can be so careful at times, and that's why he's the worrier of the two, because he experienced directly what hate can do to someone and he doesn't want this for Jungkook. He wants to protects Jungkook from it.
Jungkook doesn't care of course. Jungkook is free. Jungkook lives his life as he pleases, and I'm sure he's not as concerned as Jimin, but still he makes the effort not to simply blurt out "Jimin is my boyfriend" only because he cares what Jimin thinks and if Jimin doesn't feel safe then Jungkook wants to do the right thing by him too.
But all of it guys, the worrying, the not believing completely Jungkook loves him, the caretaker role Jimin has taken upon himself and placing others above, it all comes from an internal imbalance. A false perception.
Jimin has a deep rooted insecurity somewhere. Jimin has pretty much always downplayed his own accomplishements, and in a way his own worth? Which might have been completely due to environnemental influence who knows.
So that's the reason he might see their relationship as the Devil. That's why he thinks it's an hinderance not even for himself but for Jungkook.
It comes from fear. Fear of the outside world, but also fear of not being good enough (which is like the insecurity of 90% of the population of the planet? So yeah not very surprising there)
You can put people above yourself as an act of service, but when it becomes to your own detriment it shows a lack of self-esteem and self-love. You can give to others but you also need to give to yourself, and does Jimin really does this??? I don't know.
Jungkook does not have this issue to that extent because he has that self-love (which Jimin amongst other people also helped him build).
I won't begin to speculate where this comes from or why, there might be many factors at play and it doesn't really matter.
What I believe is that Jungkook being so forward with his feelings for Jimin might help Jimin being more assured in this relationship.
But as long as he doesn't have that internal shift, where he stops buying into this false perception of himself, and whatever role he "should" take or not, it can't really evolve from the Devil.
Because the Devil is pure illusion to begin with, literally. As long as Jimin will stay in this illusion there will be imbalance in the relationship.
But if he can reconnect to himself and to his heart, which I hope the time in military will allow him to do, he can come back to a more balanced state and it will be smooth sailing from there.
I wonder if he will be able to do it at some point, I truly hope so, even if I'm quite sure Jungkook will be there to support him trhough it.
I'm not even 100% sure it's in the conscious mind of Jimin. Maybe it's an underlying thing lurking in the subconscious.
Idk man.
(All of it is only speculation and my own intuition, I am not throwing hate at Jimin in fact there is no judgement in any of these statements, merely me trying to make sense of things.)
Feel free to send me your thoughts (politely) if you have any
I have no conclusion to this 🫡 sorry for my rambling
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28ms28 · 3 months ago
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MY Rating of F1 drivers based on their personality(more sway) and their track presence and racing
1. Charles Leclerc
(Track Menace who is also Pookie Bear) (unintentionally funny) (just an inchident) (canonically listens to sad songs after bad races) (piano man was at some point higher in the iTunes chart than at the actual championship standings) (clueless cringefail loser) (Ice-cream man) (14 year old Max Verstappen's nightmare) (best qualifier on the grid imo) (idk something about someone who is on course for achieving greatness and will not stop until he achieves it no matter the cost, something about so much sacrifices for something he got soo close to achieving something that did not work out in the end something about how he devotes himself to Ferrari like no one else could before him something about how fate chose him to be in that seat something about how he made it look easy something about how it looked like the way was paved for him something red red red idk something about web weaving) (dogdad) (we love Leo) (went to Lewis Hamilton school of naming his dog after his rival) (oh and dreams about community services with said rival) (very strong mental health and even bigger therapy bills) (did i mention he's il predestinato of the tifosi) (biggest Ferrari fan) (only one who knows how to race max verstappen) (he was an ankle biting child see any photos of his childhood as proof) (everybody is maxplaining victim he's a maxplaining enjoyer) (suffers from middle child syndrome) (Seb's Ferrari child) (committed parricide on Sebastian Vettel in 2019 and 2020)
2. Max Verstappen
(pookiest pookie to ever pookie, track lion, big brother, catdad, certified victim ,about to be 4 time world champ, deserves so much more love, so so so incredibly talented, he's just a shy boy your honour ,free my man he did all of it but yeah vibes, because I'm dutch, fifa legend(just online), Danny kvyat has nightmares about him, geography nerd, has zero skills in any other physical sport, is planning to become a sim racer, tu tu tu du max verstappen (fun lore about Max did you know this guy was ranked 21st in the world in ultimate fifa in 2018(or was it 2016?? Doesn't matter) like can you imagine being that insane like bro you are a f1 driver in a top team like pls ??) (community service enjoyer) (certified yapper) (is terrified of fuel stations(jos verstappen when I catch you) ) (#1 lecfosi) (cringefail loser and he knows it) (teammate destroyer) (has read every rule in the rulebook and knows how to break every rule in the rulebook legally ofc all legally) (Seb's redbull child) (on his way to break every single one of Seb's record just to spite the old man)
(And is friends with an old Austrian man somehow)
3. Oscar Piastri
(Pookie bear, Mark Webbers child that has Sebastian Vettel's evil aura (Mark you will never know peace), koala, polite cat, eldest sibling energy, Android lover, Carlos Sainz's nightmare gremlin, loves cricket(cannot play well bless his heart), #1 lestappen shipper(I respect that) is also somehow the eldest of the lestappen children(his granddads are Webbanso) ) ( Him and Fernando have plotted the downfall of alpine) (I have a feeling he hates Zak brown deep down which I agree with) (grill the grid champ(like I said aura of Seb Vettel))
4. George Russell
(British individual(derogatory), king of radio messages (oh crikey), has an evil aura which is probably why he gets along with Nando, makes amazing powerpoints(facts!!), head of the gdpa and he takes it V.E.R.Y seriously probably the admin to the f1 driver group chat, part-time driver part-time strategist, he's a better driver than people give him credit for unpopular opinion but I think he can be a wdc or least a close wdc contender if given the right car I think if he was in lando's car in 2024 he probably would have taken the fight to max idk about winning but he's for sure no easy breeze, f3 and f2 wdc too, very memefiable or wotever the word is) ( T pose)(t.a.l.l.)(one sweaty boi)
5. Carlos Sainz
(Spanish chilli, smooth operator, dog lover, says bye to his racing career after 2024( no wait let me tell you something let me finish let m- *shot*), certified zoning out( Carlos has been called to the stewards), Lewis Hamilton hater prolly, certified Fred vassuer hater, poor guy really he leaves whenever a team is getting good like come on, has had very good teammates and has been friends with them, in 2025 will become the third person in history to have raced for Ferrari, McLaren and Williams, I feel like he lacks a bit of aggressiveness in his racing like he operates smoothly and intelligently sure but yk you should have a bite yk )(whenever he finds this said bite and aggressiveness it's usually against his teammate I'm observing you Carlos I'm noticing)( loves Lando Norris, golf master but humble about it, Maria Karey, one of the mature drivers on the grid, excellent at all sports, James aeiou has a crush on him, Lana del Ray coded, him and max were torro rosso nepo babies).
6. Lewis Hamilton
(7-time world champion, goat behaviour, was friends with P Diddy, rich cool wine aunt, #blessed, fashionista, Hammertime, Fernando Alonso's nightmare gremlin, don't ever mention 2016 in front of him, is haunted by Nico Rosberg, is neighbours with Nico Rosberg, will avoid Greece for the rest of his life, had a very public divorce, thus vegan, Silverstone 2008 you will always be famous, this Barbie is an f1 driver, still we rise guys, Toto Wolff and David Croft will sacrifice their bloodline for him, certified Micheal Massi hater, certified Bottas lover, we love him and Seb being the activists on the grid, this is getting manipulated man, did not survive Abu Dhabi 2021, did not survive Abu Dhabi 2016, has had caps thrown at him, Left family for Italian mafia, uncle I beg you please get your qualifying form back pls pls, is embarrassed by those toxic #teamlh and you cannot convince me otherwise, has let 2 baddies named Nico slip from him, ISS THAT GLOCK???, Bono my tyres are gone)
7. Lando Norris
(twitch streamer first f1 driver second, McLaren boy, hates papaya rules, has been multi21nd, mental health has been made very public by his own goddamn team, party-boy and DJ, fakes knowing how to play COD and Fortnite, very consistent racing good for him, terrified of first laps and poles, best friends with last laps and fastest laps(let's go Lando), shit at golf and geography but it's okay he makes up for it by being funny, probably misses being Carlos's teammate, but like Carlos lacks a bit of aggressiveness that is required, McLaren PR's nightmare gremlin, opposite of polite cat, has somehow managed to anger every fanbase and his car is the sole reason for the unification of RedBull, Ferrari and Mercedes, has been dealing with the wrath of Australia since 2021, at the end of the day just a curly haired guy ).
8. Fernando Alonso
(Spanish devil , Disney villain ahh character, 2005 and 2006 world champ, is looking for his 33rd win, Michael Schumacher's nightmare gremlin, grumpy old man first f1 driver second, lance lover(rare), Lawrence stroll's sugar baby, fast, prime Alonso I am scared of you, goat behaviour, holds a special grudge against McLaren and Lewis Hamilton(Alonso is sick of his ass), no more radio for the rest of the race, believes in karma, has dated Taylor swift apparently but is in love with Mark Webber( Jenson button is also somewhere in there), is known as El padre and has an el plan(everyone should be afraid), racecraft out of this world, 2005 Suzuka you will always be famous, all de time you have to leave da space, Alonso radio my love, aggressive but good racing the likes of which I have never seen and probably never will, what do mean by "I knew he'd brake earlier because he has 2 kids and a wife at home" like who says that what what??, worse career decisions than Ferrari strategies, bad luck so much bad luck, so chaotic so much chaos, has adopted Oscar and has plotted the downfall of alpine with him, Flavio haunts him, do not bring up Singapore 2008 in front of him especially not if Felipe Massa is present there, has driven the 2014 Ferrari and has not recovered from it, has outlasted Renault in formula one (wild), give Fernando Alonso 5 more points and he would be a 5 time wdc (even more wild), bye bye I'm still the bad guy)
9. Alex Albon
(alabonoo) ( bff with George Russell) ( is bullied by George Russell) (golf wag first f1 driver second) ( James aeiou has a favourite and it's Alex Albon) ( Alex really said I'm Thai first and a colonizer second and good for you Alex) (2020 Alex and 2022 onwards Alex are different people okay?) ( he's a consistent racer much like Lando but he makes mistakes more often, under pressure working is not his forte sorry pals but it had to be said) ( he's a really nice dude tho and really funny as well ) ( dude has a Chipotle member card as one of his essentials and you tell me I'm not supposed to love him come on be reasonable)(he has his own zoo he's a certified pet owner) ( if I had the money for that amount of pets I would do the same Alex I get it ) (also he's a Ferrari fan so you just know bro is always on hopium) (I think he gets put under the radar often but he's great) ( he seems to be a chill dude imo)(we both love lily)
10. Nico Hulkenberg
(German but like in a cool way) ( has been giving dad energy before he was a dad) ( called Hulk but is probably the calmest person on the grid) ( give my man Bruce Banner his podium nah it's not even funny anymore he deserves so much better than that) ( he's won le mans on his first try yk give him the Redbull seat for godsakes) (Nico is so cheeky like I know he's a gen x or something but like I see the genz potential yk) (Audi better have a car good enough for a podium I swear to god if we say bye to him before a podium I'm uhm I'm uh I'm gonna cry).
11. Yuki Tsunoda
(anime boi) (wants a restaurant before he wants a world championship and I respect that Yuki) (has an evil aura) (certified hothead because he's a certified good chef) (has the bitch spirit to be a Redbull driver but is not. because of Horner issues) (Yuki does make the occasional mistakes but like he's far better than the alt no?) (in the words of Yuki "idk man wotever") (too much anger for too small body) (is in love with Pierre Gasly) (is bullied by Pierre Gasly) (everybody loves Yuki even Nando is a fan)(tbf nandos a fan of anyone who has an evil aura) (people are terrified of Yuki radio as they rightfully should be) (Yuki is nightmare gremlin of every race engineer).
12. Pierre Gasly
(French but like from the north of France)(known for being French and Max Verstappen's teammate thus known for being fucked over by Redbull, also known for his revenge win in Monza) ( he's just a great driver like if given the right car he can fight at the top and win he's not on Max and Charles level yet but I feel like around George and better than Lando) ( he's also a good qualifier maybe it has something to do with speaking French who knows but yeah amazing what he can do in that shit alpine) (unfortunately he has a severe case of resting bitch face but he's very nice actually unless you are Esteban then he's not very nice) (yeah he also has the brocedes case of childhood best friends turned enemies but like French and he's very much Lewis in that way which means he would much rather ignore estie bestie than talk about him e.v.e.r while estie brings up his bestie Pierre wherever he can like Nico)( oh and he loves one Japanese boi)(pierreeee gasllyyyyy)
13. Kevin Magnussen
(Kmag the Viking) (my god nobody races like kmag lol) Okay so maybe I put him this high because he's a track terror to everyone but like watcha want me to do? Not acknowledging kmag's great defending is a crime, he is here to cause menace no matter how many penalty points he gains or races he's banned from he's really coming for Ocon's penalty points honour tbh. Shame really that this is his last season... just when things got interesting *sigh* (off the track he's a chill girldad) (hulk and kmag had an enemies-to-lovers story arc and I think that's beautiful)
14. Esteban Ocon
(he's French, he's from Normandy in France which is the north of France so you just know he was a bored child) (he and Pierre were bored babies) (which is probably why he races the way he does lol) (5-second penalty for Ocon) (no but seriously this guy has mad potential but also he's a mad teammate killer and not in a good way) (he has made a way for himself in formula one and he belongs here it's just that maybe if he tried targeting people other than his teammates he would make it much easier for himself) (he's a very cheerful person irl) (big Marvel fan) (gives very early teenage boy vibes) (softie at heart) (cannot for the life of him pronounce squirrel)(oh he also loves lance(rare)) (Estie bestie is on the podium babyyy)
15. Daniel Riccardo
(Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi oi oi ) (damn Daniel) (it's not tears it's athlete sweat ) (I mean I knew it was time to go but still it didn't have to be this way it's okay tho Danny is enjoying retirement and dirt bikes) (yeah the performance was just not there for Danny boi not that we could see it anyway because of vcarbs shit strategy or whatever they call it) (I miss prime Daniel he was such an annoyance to Sebastian)(2014 Daniel took the Australian revenge on Seb for his crimes against Mark Webber) (but yeah Daniel you go out of this sport with lots of love and a fastest lap)(ki ki aye)
16. Valtteri Bottas
(Finnish when he was in Mercedes but is officially Australian since then) ( Bottas more like Bott-ass get what I mean) (I mean that he has a weird obsession with his gluteus maximus) (Valtteri pls I beg you stop this behaviour) (10 time Grand Prix winner Valtteri has nightmares about James aeiou) (Valtteri it's James) (he's pretty chill all he cares about is racing, cyclist girlfriend, and his mullet+moustache(not necessarily in that order)) also here's a sad fact since Valtteri won't be on the grid next year it would be the first time a Finnish racer is not in the grid since 1989 yeah everybody is waiting for Robin Raikkonen now.
17. Sergio Perez
(Checo damn man what happened) (no 2 Redbull driver curse got to checo) (he was doing so good in racing point like Sakhir 2020 my beloved last to first, man what a performance that was) (he is capable of doing such great things but nooo bro gets knocked out in q1 more than he has reached q3) (Redbull killed the dawg in him man) (certain Austrian man haunts his nightmares and no it's not Niki Lauda) (he and Logan are the nightmare gremlins for mechanics)(even when he performs it's usually in no human right countries so he's not really helping the allegations) ( this poor Latina I swear to god) (he can't drive and he's up and about with other women(Taylor swift 1989 reference) aye aye aye(checo go home to your wife and children).
18. Logan Sargeant
(American) (bald eagle noises) (collective groan of William mechanics) (sorry logie bear)(James aeiou shall face the wrath of Jenson button it's ok) (first American to score points in f1 since 1993 that's 30 years so yaaay!!) (American history will be kind to you Logan)(not sure about f1 history tho) (your last gift to us was a sick ass album cover and I respect it) (if only he knew what a kilometre was * sigh*)(bye bye miss American pie).
19. Zhou Guanyu
(China boy) (another alpine escapee) (Zhou I'm sorry but you're not him anymore) (I miss pre-Silverstone 2022 Zhou where has my dawg gone man) (Zhou may not be as good of a racer now but he makes it up by being a fashionista) (tbf to him that Sauber stake monstrosity is not really helpful so) (also he is a catdad and had an emo phase through f3) (He's the first Chinese to ever race in f1 I think he's done his country proud) (He's also a proud Valtteri lover)
Okay so rookies next I did not include them here well because they have had like on avg 4 races soo
1. Oliver bearman
(ollie) (what a wonderful job he has done my god) (p7 in Jeddah on a day's notice wow dude) (he's driving for Haas in 2025 and his teammate is Esteban so that's..great (my condolences!! ifykyk)) also points in Baku after he passed his teammate (tell me you are a lestappen child w/o telling me you're a lestappen child) what I've seen from him I can tell he's very relentless that's good(also he's the most employed unemployed person ever) (also I heard people criticising him by commenting on his current f2 season like babe did u see his rookie f2 season?? that's why he's here not because of this year but last year and he's not doing bad this year it's just the car is shit but yeah he was at one point higher in the f1 standings than in f2 so I get why people are confused lol) (also he's super likeable very Genz very demure very mindful) (Ferrari has grown him in a lab with utmost care so he's very much a PR baby)
(oh yeah also he's in love with Kimi Antonelli) (yeah they are being genz lestappen)
2. Franco Colapinto
(Frankie baby) (Argentinian and very proud) (is very funny) (is also very genz) (sent James aeiou into a crisis by doing a better job than Alex Albon) (scored 4 times the amount of points than his predecessor in his 2nd race) (looks like Senna goes for the gap like Senna( in racing!! in racing!! calm down man)) (he deserves his place in f1 next year my god) (like the racecraft he has shown is very impressive I'm impressed and so is very f1 team even if he does not get the seat next year I doubt people are gonna forget about him believe me he will be in the talks still) (like I said he's not even had a full f2 season when he was called in for Williams and yet the incredible pace he has shown is fantastic) (has all the 30+ aged drivers enthralled with him and I don't blame them I would be too) (also he refers to Ocon as the Frenchman so where do I submit my stan card??) (oh and he has been adopted by Max Verstappen)
3. Liam Lawson
(aka New Zealand's revenge on Australia) (he did a fantastic job in 2023 and has been doing a fantastic job in 2024) (his idol is Lighting McQueen.....so now that everybody knows that he's Genz you can probably understand why he is beefing with Nando and Checo(boomers) (I think he drives aggressively but not as smoothly he is yet to find a balance it looks like but hey it's working out for him no?) (honestly just give either him or Yuki the Redbull seat) (off the track he's quite an expressive person but I don't think we have seen much of his personality he's friendly for sure and I mean he's a cars fan like come on he's a Pixar kid) (idk something about him says yeah I'm Genz but I still go on Facebook) (not that it's bad not saying the vibes are bad just Liam show more personality).
So that's pretty much it let me kno-what ? what do you mean I forgot someone oh lance stroll?? yeah no I didn't forget(I wish) I just have nothing to say really.
PLS READ these rankings are in my opinion and my opinion only please be kind to me this ranking is for humorous and comedic purposes only no hate to anyone!!
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the-timewatcher · 2 years ago
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A disgruntled Tumblrina (gender-neutral) made a website and why you should too.
Or "reject social media, return to personal websites".
PART 1: THE PART WHERE I CONVINCE YOU TO MOVE TO PERSONAL WEBSITES
So, the Web 2.0 social media infested landscape seems to be crumbling before our very eyes. Reddit's leadership is increasingly greedy, Twitter is sinking under the weight of Elon's massive, yet increasingly fragile ego, Tumblr is slowly turning into another lifeless corpo-fest, complete with the layout, Instagram continues to be vapid and soulless and Facebook seems to be going the way of MySpace.
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(feel free to check the alt text on these, btw)
In these troubling times, where everything looks the same and you're expected to be milked for every dollar you're worth, what is a disgruntled Internet surfer such as yourself to do? Move to an untested alternative that's bound to get overrun by fascists thanks to poor moderation? Stay the course on the sinking ships you're used to?
Well, what if I told you that we've solved this problem way back in the 90's and early 2000's and were merely duped by the Big Zuck into forgetting our legacy? What if there was a cure for the sanitized, dull social media hellscape?
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It takes a bit of work, when compared to just using a social media site, but even if your particular use case makes switching difficult (ex. an artist looking to promote their work), it's still a good secondary option to consider.
The core appeal is the ability to customize and individualize, make a corner of cyberspace unabashedly yours,
It can also be an exciting avenue of creative expression, giving whatever you want to say a unique coat of paint,
Most website hosting services are a bit more lax about what you can do on them, due to changes in the profit structure (rather than depending on advertisers and investors, they either have a premium option to give supporters perks, have another product, or, in the case of paid services, you renting that space IS the product),
If you want your website to be more accomodating and accessible, you don't have to file tons of feedback - do it yourself,
If you'd like to connect with other webmasters and promote each other's websites, we have webrings - sets of circular links that connect websites with something in common, be it a topic, aesthetic or friend group,
You're less likely to have your stuff purged by an ill-advised change in policy (especially if you have a backup of your files somewhere),
The more people do it, the less power those massive social media corpos have over the internet,
It can be a load of fun!
If I have you convinced, keep reading into part 2. If you just wanna see what I did, skip to part 3. If neither, feel free to continue scrolling. I won't hold it against you. You'll be missing out, that's all.
PART 2: SO, YOU WANNA MAKE A WEBSITE!
Good choice, here's some resources!
sadgrl's absolute beginner's guide to Neocities - what it says on the tin!
W3Schools - a more in-depth tutorial site, a learning resource so excellent it substituted for what I was supposed to learn in technical highschool (because our teacher just told us to go on W3Schools instead of teaching us shit)
A list of free layouts for your website - whether to use as a base to learn from or to simply take for yourself,
Neocities - the posterchild for free website hosting for personal websites. Doesn't allow video or audio, but you can get around that by linking those files from elsewhere. Beginner-friendly to a fault - once you have an account just drag and drop your files in,
Gitlab (& Gitlab Pages) - a more advanced option, but it has a few advantages of its own. Gitlab is a website hoster second and a version control service first - which is programmer speak for "keeps track of changes in your code and stores a backup of it online". it helps a lot when working on multiple devices or co-writing with a friend. And secondly, you can use Gitlab Actions to automate putting your website up (even on Neocities, like I do!)
My askbox - I am not joking, if you have any questions about any of this, I'd love nothing more than to help you out!
But with most of my indie web propaganda out of the way, it's time.
PART 3: Welcome to Timewatcher OS.
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Of course, because I couldn't be normal when it comes to making a website, I had to turn it into a fake operating system. Each subpage is an "app", opened in a separate embed window. It has unlockable wallpapers (no pay2win, prommy). There's bideo games on it! I even made a music player for it so I can share my incongruent music tastes!
Like I said in my Tumblr bio, if I ever go radio silent for more than a month, it means I've gotten fed up with this hellsite and moved to my own homepage permamently. And I highly advise you make an option like this for yourself too! Lastly, if any of y'all would like to start a webring, do let me know in the askbox - I'm down to manage it if I'm not alone in there.
Anyways, I hope I convinced you to make a website, or at least check out some of the cool sites you've been missing out on! Hope to see you on the Old Web!
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yuan4i · 5 months ago
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yuan4i’s guide n tips on writing a smau! 
apps : (i use social maker, however, it's been deleted from the app store)
ios texting :  - memeimessage - fake all ios twitter :  - twinote - twimemo android texting : - fake chat android twitter :  - white bird - tweet creator more android : -  faked pictures (headers, pfps, posts) :  - pinterest  - irl photos 
tips & guide :
1) plot -  plan your plot in detail. this may sound silly, but you need to know what’s going on in your story. before writing, i make little jot-dot notes on docs for each act in my stories. as someone who reads tons of romance, i find it easy to come up with romance plots.  think of scenarios that i’d like to add to the story. if you’re having a hard time thinking of them, feel free to search something like “writing prompts” “dialogue pieces” and “romance troupes” online/on tumblr. those then to spark a lot of creativity. tip 1 : listen to music! music is a big inspiration for me! i usually analyze the lyrics and write with them. i tend to base a lot of my stories off of songs! 
2) characters - while deciding and making friend groups, i try to include different personalities (the extrovert, logical ones, the mom of the group, etc) . i find it important to have a character that is more “extroverted” or “chaotic” to move along the plot. i also like to add a character who has mutual friends with mc and the love interest.  tip 2 : when making the texts, i tend to give them each different texting styles that would seem to fit their character! (ex, a more serious character tends to text with correct grammar and spelling, etc) the way a character talks/texts would say a lot about them.  
3) writing - it’s okay if you don’t write down every single detail in the story. since it’s a smau, it doesn’t need to be as detailed! and don’t be scared to leave some chapters off on cliffhangers!! cliffhangers are a great way to continue the next chapter :) like i mentioned before, i jot down notes for the skeleton of the plot! as soon as you have an idea, write it down right away. i write the written chapters on docs, then paste it on tumblr in case the writing doesn’t save. another thing is to try to get ahead and prewrite chapters! it makes updating a lot easier.  tip 3 : if you find yourself having a difficult time finding motivation to write, try doing the 3-minute method. sit down, and write for 3 minutes. after those 3 minutes, decide if you’d like to continue or not (this works for pretty much anything! studying, drawing, etc. usually i get caught up in it so i choose to continue.) 
hopefully all of this helped :) good luck with writing your smaus and remember to have fun <3! there is no “right” or “wrong” way to write a smau; it’s creative writing!!  feel free to ask any questions or anything, i’d be glad to help ´͈ ᵕ `͈ ♡°◌̊
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somniseeker · 21 days ago
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HIHI i was thinking about your fic and was wondering, what would be the reaction frm the guys with a yn more mean? Like, they told yn to come to a party with them and yn answer "why would i want to be near You guys lmao"
swings legs i had fun with this one pls read until end for longer snippet !!
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“How would the sans' react to a meaner MC?”
pairings; undertale sans aus/mean reader
cw; made with ding!sans' in mind, they're from my fic which you can find on my page. can somewhat be read alone.
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You’re quick to deliver sharp, biting remarks, often pointing out flaws or poking fun at the others.
Fresh: At first, Fresh laughs it off and tells you how unrad it is, but you notice his responses slow down over time. You almost think you had hurt his feelings—not that you'd care, but then... Eventually, he starts countering with his own brand of overly chipper sarcasm. 90's insults and the whole shabang. “Jabroni!” “Bozo!” He’d text quick wittedly and honestly, you felt as if he didn't take you seriously at all!
Ink: Ink acts unbothered, but his emojis start feeling a little more passive-aggressive after each comment. He eventually flat-out asks if you’re always this “charming.” (Hint: yes, you are.)
Anytime someone gets excited about something, you’re quick to brush it off as “boring” or “childish.”
Blue (Swap): At first, Blue is genuinely hurt. He tries to win you over with kindness, but when it doesn’t work, he grows more defensive. “Well, at least I’m not a grouch like you!” Except this doesn't get taken that seriously through text messages, he made many typos while mad. Embarrassment sunk in his skull.
You don’t sugarcoat anything. If someone asks for your opinion, you give it to them straight—even if it stings.
Fell: While the others struggle with your bluntness, Fell almost seems to respect it. “Finally, someone who knows how to talk without all the coddling. You’re still a pain in the ass, though.”
Your humor leans sarcastic and borderline cruel, often making fun of situations or people when they least expect it.
Mutt (Fellswap Papyrus): Mutt starts out confused but eventually laughs along, he was used to his brother somewhat acting this way anyways. “i can’t tell if yer joking or just heartless. either way, i respect it..”
The Skeletons Get Used to You
Over time, the group adjusts to your personality. While the initial sting of your remarks still lingers, they realize that your meanness isn’t necessarily personal—it’s just who you are.
Fell outright calls you out one day: “At least I have the guts to say it to someone’s face. You just hide behind a screen like a coward.” Surprisingly, his bluntness makes you pause. After that, the two of you develop an odd sense of camaraderie, bonding over your shared abrasiveness. But, in your defense, it's not even like you could say anything to any of their faces—it was a groupchat! An online one!
Blue learns to dish out sass in return, though he’s not nearly as sharp as you. “Hah! See? I can be tough too!” It’s almost endearing how hard he tries to keep up.
Overall; the skeletons gradually adjust to your mean-spirited personality, finding it strangely entertaining rather than off-putting. For you, being snarky behind a screen is easier than dealing with the judgmental stares of real life. At first, your bluntness catches them off guard, but having already dealt with Fell’s abrasive honesty and Error’s sarcastic tendencies, they learn to roll with it.
───────────────────────────────────
Ink: we should do introductions!
You: pass.
BlueberryBoi: that’s no way to make friends!
You: i’m not here to make friends. isn’t that obvious?
GlitchBitch: ok, but why’re you still here if you hate us so much?
You: free entertainment. like watching a bad soap opera.
Ink: :\
───────────────────────────────────
BlueberryBoi: hey, what’s your favorite color? i wanna know more about you!
You: it’s not blue, if that’s what you’re fishing for.
BlueberryBoi: why would that be what i’m fishing for?!
FunkN’Fresh: dang, blueberry got roasted!
You: relax, fresh. you’re next. how’s it feel living in 2010 with that personality?
FunkN’Fresh: YO YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THAT HARD!!
ISTHATTHEGRIMREAPER: this is just sad at this point.
You: what’s sad is your edge level. did you write this chat on a black notebook with skull doodles in the margins?
DANCETILLURDEAD: ok but that’s actually kinda funny.
You: congrats, first compliment of the night. don’t get used to it.
nastydawg: i’m crying.
───────────────────────────────────
Ink: it’s been a while since we had someone meaner than fell in here…
Fell2cool4school: correction: i say it to yer faces. this coward hides behind the screen.
You: pretty big words coming from an off-brand tsundere.
FunkN’Fresh: HAHAHA TSUNDERE FELL
Fell2cool4school: say that again, and yer dead.
You: aw, did i hurt your feelings?
───────────────────────────────────
FunkN’Fresh: hey brah, we’re watching a movie later. wanna join?
You: nah.
Fell2cool4school: you always say no. do you do anything fun?
You: yeah, but it doesn’t involve hanging out with people like you.
Fell2cool4school: just admit it. you’re scared we’ll out-snark you.
You: yeah, i’m terrified. let me go cower under my desk real quick.
ISTHATTHEGRIMREAPER: ngl, that sounds like a yes.
BlueberryBoi: i think you secretly like us!
You: doubt.
───────────────────────────────────
Ink: so you coming to the movie night or what?
You: didn’t i already say no? you forget things a lot for someone with so many brains.
Ink: nah, just figured you’d be too lonely to say no twice.
You: …ok, that one wasn’t bad.
FunkN’Fresh: WHOA, INK GOT A POINT!!
BlueberryBoi: hey, if you hate us so much, why’re you always online?
You: you’re that one annoying ad you can’t block.
BlueberryBoi: that doesn’t even make sense!!
Fell2cool4school: neither does their personality. move on.
You: says the guy who named himself “fell2cool4school.”
───────────────────────────────────
You had just logged off your last class for the day, stretching as you leaned back in your chair. The soft hum of your computer faded into the background as your phone buzzed on the desk. That group chat again.
Despite how bizarre it all was, you hadn’t left yet. Something about their antics kept pulling you back—though you weren’t sure if it was curiosity or sheer disbelief at their personalities. You picked up your phone, thumb swiping to open the app.
ISTHATTHEGRIMREAPER: yo, who’s up for a party tonight?
FunkN’Fresh: YO YO YO!! PARTY?? sign me UP, my dudes!
Ink: Party? Who’s hosting??
Fell2cool4school: tf u need to know for? either you’re in or you’re not.
nastydawg: bet it’s just some lame excuse for you to brood.
You couldn’t help but scoff. A party? With them?
You already knew where this was going. The thought of actually hanging out with the loud, chaotic group made your head hurt.
Before you could mute the conversation and move on with your evening, another message came through.
Ink: protégé, you coming?
GlitchBitch: doubt it.
DanceTillUrDead: um, we haven't even seen their face yet..
fell2cool4school: shut up remix no one likes u
DanceTillUrDead: i didnt even say anything :(
FunkN’Fresh: c’mon, protégé! it’ll be fresh. gotta let loose sometimes, you feel?
ISTHATTHEGRIMREAPER: yeah, don’t be lame.
The barrage of messages made you pause. Did they actually think you’d go? You glanced at the messages again, your lips curling into a smirk. If they were expecting you to jump at the invitation, they had another thing coming.
You typed quickly, the sarcasm practically dripping from your fingertips.
You: why would i want to be near you guys lmao.
The chat went silent for a moment. Then:
Fell2cool4school: lmfao
Ink: 😐
nastydawg: damn, that’s cold.
You could almost picture their faces—well, if skeletons had proper faces. Maybe they weren’t used to being called out like this.
FunkN’Fresh: WHOA OKAY, rude.
ISTHATTHEGRIMREAPER: not rude lol, just pathetic. they’re too scared to hang with us.
You raised an eyebrow at the message. Scared? Hardly. But the baiting tone was hard to ignore.
You: scared? pls. i just don’t waste my time.
Fell2cool4school: says the one still sitting here reading our messages.
You grit your teeth. Fell’s words hit a little too close to home, and you weren’t about to let him get the last word.
You: nah, i’m just here for the free comedy show.
gotta say, you guys are top-tier entertainment.
The chat erupted into a mix of responses.
nastydawg: ok but this is funny
Ink: yeah, hilarious.. /s
GlitchBitch: stop fueling them, mutt.
FunkN’Fresh: YO PRO, i’ll have you know i’m like, the LIFE of any party!! you’re missing OUT, my dude.
You: i’m sure. let me know when the clown
show starts, maybe i’ll swing by.
You set your phone down, satisfied. The chat was still blowing up with messages, but you ignored them. They wanted to play games? Fine. You weren’t about to make it easy for them.
Still, as you leaned back in your chair, you couldn’t shake the faint curiosity lingering in your chest. For all their weirdness, you wondered what they’d actually be like in person.
But you weren’t about to admit that—not to them, and definitely not to yourself. Why are you even wasting your precious time with some dumb no life roleplayers anyways.
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theallianceofcelestials · 3 months ago
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Okay, so apparently people have been harassing Kat, Earth's VA because they... don't like the characters she plays and how she writes for the show? The actual fuck?
Like don't get me wrong, perfectly fine to look at a character and decide you don't like them, even hate them potentially, but you don't go and harass the people responsible for making the character. That's just plain dumb. I hate/dislike characters from some of the shows (Bonnie from Moon and Sun Minecraft for example), but that doesn't give me the right to go and harass their VAs. BECAUSE IT'S JUST A CHARACTER FOR A SILLY LITTLE SHOW PEOPLE MAKE FOR FREE! IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS! Sure I may rant about the character, but NEVER badmouth the actor, because them being able to achieve such a visceral reaction out of me by just looking at the character, makes them so incredibly talented.
Like how can you be so fucking terminally online, that you decide to harass someone because "I Don't LiKe ThE chaRacTeR"?! Like that's no valid reason to do that! Go and touch some god fucking grass, my god! I swear it's actually good for you!
Like this is just straight up disgusting behaviour in general. It's unacceptable, and shows just how much of a coward these people actually are, because there're no consequences for THEM. And well, they clearly don't fucking care about their fellow human beings, so like jfc.
And like the shit Kat does is for FREE! She doesn't charge us money for her services! She just went and did some amazing stuff for us, and now some idiots're feeling butthurt because they hate female characters or something.
I sincerely hope it was only a couple of individuals at worst, and a single person at best, because my faith in humanity is already rather fragile, and this is just ridiculous and pathetic.
So like, if by some miracle the person/people who harassed Kat is/are reading this, I want you to know this says more about to how sad and pathetic you actually are, and how you peaked back on the playground as a bully and didn't manage to develop into an actual fucking person, than it does anything about Kat. I hope you realise just how stupid you are, but I know you likely won't. Because people like you lack brains, so you can't comprehend basic fucking concepts like how the sky is blue, and 2 + 2 is 4. Or how grass is not your fucking enemy.
This isn't about just just Kat, because from what I've heard, other female characters' actresses get similar bs, and their characters get tremendous ammount of hate compared to male characters that potentially did incredibly horrid stuff, but I don't really follow the other TSBS to know what's going on. But my gods. That's so disappointing.
Why are fandoms nowadays so toxic? Back in my day, and I'm not that old myself either, and joined fandoms later than most people in said fandoms, since I'm a not native english speaker, but back in the day fandoms were so much more positive. Sure, there was the toxic minority, but they were just that. Loud small group of jerks. Like when did we start catering to these people? When did we decide that these toxic people were whom we should listen to, and explain every little thing we do to them? Like why do I have to explain why I like villian characters or whatever to internet strangers? I think people are more than smart enough to realise morality should not be taken from media!
And when did fanart and fanfic start becoming expectation, something the fanfic writer has to do, the fanart artist has to do? Instead it being the expression of joy and feelings the consumed media gave them? When did shipping become life or death? When did a headcanon or an AU become so fucking serious that lives apparently depend on it with how people jump eachother? Why can't we just relax and have fun? Like do what fandom is meant for?
This is obviously not for the people who didn't do any of this shit, but the fact I need to clarify that or someone will get offended is disheartening. Like people please deal with your anxieties! If it's not your shirt, don't put it on as a saying in my native tongue goes!
Sorry for the angry rant, it's just so disappointing, especially because Kat is such a talented person! I really enjoy how she plays these characters and I love her writing! So I thank her for deciding to not just quit altogether, no matter how understandable that would have been! I hope stepping back will make things better!
I just hope her mental health doesn't have to suffer more, because this shouldn't have happened to her in the first place. She's been doing amazing work, for free I'll say once again, and I'll forever cherish it! I hope things get better for her!
If by some miracle this reaches Kat, thank you for sticking with us for as long as you have! I hope things'll get better for you! Take care of yourself! :)
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