#One direction 1s

[little-big-fan]

What do we do now? - Parte 2.

Parte 1 aqui.

N\a: Meus amores, durante o processo de escrita da segunda parte desse imagine, ele acabou ficando grande demais! Então acabei precisando separar no meio! A próxima parte já está prontinha, e assim que a quiserem, me avisem! Muito obrigado a quem mandou ask falando sobre a primeira parte, foi muito especial! <3 Uma ótima leitura! Lari

Contagem de palavras: 3,924

Três meses.

Tirei minhas malas do carro com a ajuda do motorista. Apoiando a capa de figurinos em cima de uma delas, me dirigi ao hall do grandioso hotel. Algumas semanas atrás recebi algumas mensagens da produtora de Harry, com as fotos de inspirações dos figurinos das primeiras semanas de volta em turnê. Desde o último show, Harry e eu pouco nos falamos. Na primeira semana ele dizia estar sobrecarregado com as gravações do filme, mas após duas ou três semanas, milhões de sites de fofoca especulavam que ele estava tendo um caso com a diretora do longa. Nunca tocamos no assunto, e com os dias, o contato foi esfriando até que por dois meses inteiros não trocamos nem uma letra. 

Mitch estava no Hall, junto a vários outros funcionários da equipe. O abracei e cumprimentei a todos, informando que deixaria as malas no quarto e logo voltaria. Combinamos de jantar todos juntos, para conversar e contar como foram os últimos meses. Após fazer o que havia dito, voltei. Agora já haviam mais alguns colegas que chegaram. A conversa estava divertida, um dos seguranças contava as peripécias do filho caçula que parecia ser um pestinha adorável. 

Harry chegou depois de cerca de meia hora, empurrando sua mala ao lado do corpo, cumprimentando um por um com um abraço. Não sendo diferente comigo, Harry me apertou em seus braços e me levantou, me fazendo soltar um gritinho de surpresa.

O jantar também fora agradável. Harry contou algumas coisas sobre a rotina de gravações, e como algumas fãs tentaram invadir o set.

O primeiro show chegou, como seria na mesma cidade do set de gravações, alguns atores que contracenaram com Harry estariam presentes. 

Desde a noite anterior, após o jantar me sentia estranha. Passara a manhã inteira me sentindo mal e vomitando qualquer coisa que encostasse em minha boca.

Estava terminando os últimos ajustes do figurino. O camarim estava cheio, a maquiagem e cabelo de Harry já estavam prontas, e faltava apenas a minha parte. 

Eu já estava guardando as coisas quando o camarim ficou em silêncio do nada. O motivo foi que na porta estava a tal diretora do filme. Harry deu um sorriso sem graça, me encarando de lado antes de convidá-la para entrar. E assim que o perfume muito doce (que eu podia jurar que ela tinha tomado um banho daquilo) entrou em contato com meu nariz, meu estômago revirou no mesmo segundo. Não foi possível disfarçar. Corri para o pequeno lavabo com a mão sobre a boca e me ajoelhei em frente a privada, colocando o pouco de comida que havia conseguido almoçar á algumas horas. 

Senti meus cabelos serem levantados, e vi Mitch me ajudando. A mão livre fazia um carinho em minhas costas e ele assoprava meu rosto. Sequei o suor da testa e lavei minha boca.

— Você está bem? — O moreno perguntou quando me recompus. 

— Sim, acho que comi algo que me fez mal. — Fiz uma careta e ele sorriu, me puxando para fora do banheiro pela mão. Todos me encaravam, e eu queria me enfiar em um buraco.

— Tudo bem? — Harry perguntou. Assenti com a cabeça e soltei a mão de Mitch, indo pegar as minhas coisas. — Não vai ficar para o show?

— Acho melhor descansar um pouco. — Falei apoiando a capa vazia nas costas. — Ainda estou me sentindo um pouco mal.

— Posso pedir para alguém te levar ao médico. — Disse pegando seu celular na mesa de maquiagens. Olivia, a diretora estava sentada na cadeira dele, e parecia alheia á tudo digitando algo na tela do seu aparelho.

— Não precisa, foi algo que eu comi. Só preciso dormir e amanhã estarei 100%. — Forcei um sorriso, Harry suspirou contrariado mas aceitou. Me despedi desejando um bom show a todos e voltei para o hotel.

Minha barriga roncava de fome, mas depois de mais uma tentativa frustada de me alimentar e acabar botando tudo para fora, decidi dormir.

Na manhã seguinte, acordei ainda me sentindo nauseada, e depois de mais um episódio tendo que fugir para o lavabo, não consegui fugir da consulta médica quase forçada, que Harry fez questão de ir para que eu não tivesse a oportunidade de escapar. 

Estava sentada em frente ao homem de jaleco branco, enquanto Harry estava sentado do lado de fora na recepção. Depois de um exame rápido, ele anotava algumas coisas em um bloco antes de me olhar.

— Quando foi sua última menstruação? — O homem loiro perguntou, tirando os olhos do papel para me observar.

— Cerca de duas semanas atrás. — Ele assentiu com a cabeça.

— Bem, vou lhe indicar alguns exames, para descartar a opção de uma infecção ou algum tipo de vírus alimentar. — Me estendeu a prescrição. — E aqui tem a receita de um remédio para ajudar na náusea. — Me entregou mais um papel. — Eu sugiro que faça um exame de gravidez, antes de tomá-lo, apenas para descartar esta opção. — Meu coração deu um salto.

— Eu não posso estar grávida, tomo anticoncepcional e meu ciclo é regular. — Ri fraco, como se aquilo fosse algum tipo de piada de muito mal gosto. 

— Nenhum método contraceptivo é 100% eficaz, alem disso, uma boa parcela de mulheres passa por um fenômeno chamado de sangramento de escape, que pode tranquilamente ser confundido com a menstruação. É apenas um exame para descargo de consciência, digamos assim. — Disse cruzando as mãos á sua frente. — No hemograma que pedi, será possível saber se há uma gravidez, mas se quiser tomar o remédio antes pode até mesmo fazer um teste de farmácia. — Assenti, tentando assimilar suas palavras. 

Depois de algumas recomendações sobre o medicamento, o homem se despediu desejando melhoras, e assim que saí do consultório, Harry se levantou da cadeira, apertando a mão do médico e agradecendo o atendimento. 

Harry dirigiu até a farmácia, pensei que fosse ficar no carro, mas ele decidiu ir junto comigo. Não falei sobre a consulta, apenas entreguei a receita á farmacêutica e me dirigi até a ala de produtos femininos, pegando o bendito teste. Por mais que tivesse pela certeza de que o resultado seria negativo, a pontinha de dúvida gritava em meus pensamentos. Assim que me viu com o teste na mão, a postura de Harry ficou tensa, assim como seu rosto. 

Não dissemos uma palavra até chegarmos ao hotel.

— Obrigado pela consulta. — Falei ainda no estacionamento.

— Você acha que pode estar grávida? — Ele perguntou quase sussurrando, mesmo estando em um lugar vazio.

— Não. — Afirmei. — Mas o médico disse para fazer um teste antes de tomar a primeira dose do remédio. — Eu não queira ter aquela conversa, só queria correr até o quarto, tomar o maldito medicamento e conseguir comer algo sem botar para fora. 

— Se estiver, pode ser meu? — Ele disse segurando meu braço, quando tentei sair, me fazendo encara-lo. 

— É a única opção. — Admiti em um suspiro. — Não fiquei com ninguém depois de você.

Harry soltou meu braço e passou a mão pelos cabelos, puxando-os um pouco para trás, e soltou um suspiro longo. Depois de alguns segundos nos encarando, saímos do estacionamento. O silêncio no elevador era mortal, me causando um desconforto ainda maior do que o que sentia no estômago. 

Harry insistiu em ficar no meu quarto enquanto fizesse o teste, mesmo que eu insistisse que era desnecessário e que o resultado daria negativo. 

Porém eu não esperava pela bomba que cairia em meu colo assim que o segundo traço apareceu na varetinha. 

Já faziam vinte minutos que eu chorava soluçando, completamente apavorada. Harry caminhava de um lado para outro dentro do quarto sussurrando palavrões.

— Isso pode dar um resultado falso, não pode? — Ele perguntava pela quarta vez. Tão desesperado quanto eu.

— Eu já disse que não sei! — Afirmei novamente, fungando. 

— Vamos voltar lá, fazer um outro teste, ou exame, sei lá. — Ele falava muito rápido, e parecia tremer. — Algo que seja confiável.

Cerca de meia hora depois, estávamos novamente na clínica, Harry conversou com alguém na recepção e fomos direcionados para uma sala de ultrassom. Eu não fazia ideia de como ele conseguiu aquilo tão rápido, mas com certeza uma bela quantia em dinheiro estava envolvida. Uma enfermeira me levou até a maca pela mão, abriu o botão da minha calça jeans e ergueu minha camiseta, dando acesso total a minha barriga. Um outro médico entrou, depois de alguns minutos naquela situação horrível. Ele despejou um gel viscoso em mim, e encostou um aparelho ali, encarando uma tela em preto e branco. 

O silêncio era quase fúnebre, senso quebrado apenas pelos sons do aparelho, quando o médico digitava algumas coisas aqui e ali. Então um som ritmado tomou conta do ambiente.

— Você sabe o que é isso? — O senhor já um pouco grisalho perguntou. Neguei com a cabeça. — É o coração do seu bebê. — Acho que o meu coração parou nesse momento. Harry ficou totalmente pálido, em pé ao lado do médico, ele passou as mãos pelo rosto e suspirou algumas vezes. Eu já estava chorando novamente. Aquilo não podia ser verdade. — Têm aproximadamente 10 semanas. Ainda não é possível ver o sexo. — Disse observando a imagem que para mim parecia turva. — Está mais ou menos desse tamanho. — Demonstrou com os dedos. Era muito pequeno, talvez do tamanho de uma ameixa, menor que a palma da minha mão. — Vou deixá-los conversar. Quando estiverem prontos, podem pegar o exame impresso na recepção. — Ele disse se levantando, e me entregando alguns lenços para que limpasse a barriga. — Meus parabéns. — Falou antes de sair.

Por longos minutos ficamos em silêncio, eu chorava baixinho, e Harry parecia em choque, ainda olhando para a tela que agora estava desligada.

— Harry. — Chamei baixinho, o tirando do seu transe. — Me desculpa, eu nunca… — Comecei, sendo engolida pelo meu próprio choro. — Eu juro que… — Tentava encontrar as palavras, mas parecia que meu vocabulário inteiro havia sumido. 

Harry se sentou na maca, ao meu lado. Seu rosto já havia recuperado um pouco da cor, mas a expressão ainda era de desespero. 

— Eu sei. — Engoliu em seco. — Está tudo bem. — Respirou fundo. — Vai ficar tudo bem.

— Como? — Falei sentindo um nó gigantesco em minha garganta.

— Eu não sei. — Admitiu. — Mas vamos dar um jeito. — Ele suspirou novamente.

Depois de mais alguns minutos em completo choque, voltamos para o hotel. Fomos cada um para seu quarto, e eu me deitei na cama, ainda me sentindo horrível. Ele deveria pensar que eu queria dar o golpe da barriga ou algo do gênero. Minha cabeça estava uma zona. Não fazia ideia do que fazer ou pensar. Meus olhos ardiam de tanto chorar e meu corpo estava muito cansado pela falta de vitaminas. 

Quase duas horas depois de nosso último encontro, Harry foi até meu quarto, com uma sacola nas mãos, de onde tirou algumas laranjas, me deixando totalmente confusa.

— Minha mãe disse que essa era a única coisa que ela conseguia comer durante os primeiros meses de gestação. — Ele disse me entregando a fruta depois de descascar.

— Você contou a ela? — Perguntei surpresa.

— Eu precisava de um conselho. — Admitiu. — Deveria ter te consultado, desculpa.

— Está tudo bem. — Falei levando um pedaço da laranja a boca, ainda com medo de vomitar tudo. Fechei meus olhos ao sentir a acidez, meu corpo já agradecendo por ser alimentado. — O que ela te disse? — Perguntei antes de colocar mais um pedaço na boca. 

— Que preciso assumir a responsabilidade. — Me olhou de lado enquanto descascava mais uma fruta. Não respondi, apenas o observei. — Eu não vou te deixar sozinha nesse momento, não vou abandonar você. — Ele respirou fundo, agora me encarando de frente. — Não estou fazendo isso só porque minha mãe me disse, s/n. Eu nunca te abandonaria nesse momento. Eu só… entrei em choque. 

— Eu também. Nunca passou na minha cabeça que estivesse grávida. — Passei a mão pelo cabelo, e respirei fundo tentando não voltar a chorar. — Eu não sei o que fazer. — Confessei. 

Harry se aproximou mais na cama, levando uma das mãos até minha barriga, onde o bebê estava. 

— Eu também não sei. Mas ainda temos muito tempo para aprender. — Ele me encarava nos olhos, o medo ainda estava lá, mas eu também estava apavorada.

— Você quer quer esse bebê? — Perguntei em um fio de voz. Durante das horas em que estive sozinha, milhares de cenários passaram em minha cabeça, incluindo um em que Harry me pedia para tirar a criança. Por mais que eu não fosse devota a nenhum tipo de religião, nunca me imaginei abortando. Até pensei na possibilidade de ficar com o bebê e criá-lo sozinha caso Harry não o quisesse. 

— Você não quer? 

— Eu quero. — Comecei. — Pensei que um filho agora fosse atrapalhar a sua carreira, e…

— Não pense nisso agora. — Ele me interrompeu. — Precisamos pensar sobre a sua saúde e do bebê agora. Do nosso bebê. — Meu coração batia acelerado, e eu não podia deixar de sentir alívio em saber que não estava sozinha naquela situação. — Por enquanto pensei em não contar a ninguém. — Disse me olhando com receio.

— Eu concordo.

— Vou marcar alguns exames. Para sabermos se está tudo bem com vocês dois. Depois pensamos no que faremos no futuro. — Assenti com a cabeça, e Harry voltou a descascar a laranja.

Nas semanas que se seguiram, me afastei da turnê. Fiz uma bateria de exames e iniciei o processo de pré natal. Sempre que podia, Harry estava presente nas consultas, e quando não, mandava mensagens a todo momento para saber como eu e o bebê estávamos. 

Depois de uma longa conversa no meu apartamento em San Diego, decidimos manter a gravidez e o bebê em segredo. A exposição que a vida de Harry tinha era muito grande, e sabíamos que eu receberia todo tipo de comentário maldoso. 

Na 14° semana descobrimos ser uma menina. Harry parecia ainda mais apavorado do que quando descobriu sobre a gravidez, já sua mãe estava exultante. Não nos conhecíamos pessoalmente ainda, mas Anne mantinha contato frequente para saber sobre a gestação da neta.

A data provável do parto seria entre as últimas semanas de dezembro e o começo de janeiro, e para estar presente, Harry liberou a agenda nos dois meses, alegando precisar de férias depois de tanto tempo em turnê. 

As poucas pessoas que sabiam sobre a paternidade de Harry precisaram assinar um contrato de confidencialidade, todos os médicos, a doula, até mesmo a equipe que Harry contratou com muita antecedência para fotografar o parto. 

Ele prestava atenção em cada detalhe, tomando todo cuidado possível para que aquele período fosse o mais tranquilo para mim. 

Nos falávamos todos os dias, era uma relação muito estranha. As vezes parecíamos velhos amigos, comentando episódios de friends, horas a fio em chamadas telefônicas. Harry adorava ver cada mudança de humor que eu tinha, rindo a ponto de perder o fôlego quando contava que havia chorado por algum vídeo no Instagram e até mesmo de um comercial de cereal. Ele também pedia fotos toda a semana para acompanhar o crescimento de Grace em meu ventre.

Seu nome significava benevolência divina, exatamente o que ela era. O nome perfeito para um bebezinho tão amado por todos ainda antes de nascer. 

Harry me convenceu, depois de muita insistência a passar as últimas semanas de gestação em sua cidade natal, assim que fizesse seu último show ele me encontraria e ficaríamos juntos á espera da nossa pequena. 

Descobri que Anne era tão insistente quanto o filho, já que me convenceu a ficar em sua casa. Ela estava exultante. Embaixo da árvore de natal haviam presentes para Grace e até mesmo para mim. 

A gravidez estava sendo muito tranquila. Tudo corria muito bem. Eu gerava uma bebê linda e saudável, que pela ultrassom 3d descobrimos ser a cara do pai. 

Já fazia quase uma semana que eu estava na casa de Anne quando Harry chegou. 

— Uau. — Ele disse olhando para minha barriga. Fazia quase um mês desde a última que que nos vimos, por poucas horas durante uma das consultas, e minha barriga havia aumento de tamanho muito consideravelmente.

— Se essa é a sua forma de dizer que estou enorme, eu já sei. — Falei suspirando. Por mais que estivesse amando gerar a minha filha, mal conseguia me olhar no espelho. Me sentia uma bola enorme, perambulando por aí. 

— Você está linda. — Anne disse com censura, ainda abraçada ao filho.

— Minha avó costumava dizer que a menina suga toda a beleza da mãe, hoje eu acredito. — Falei fazendo uma careta, fazendo com que os dois revirassem os olhos. 

Meu sono era quase nulo há algum tempo. Minhas costas doíam muito e Grace parecia estar em um trampolim toda vez que eu me deitava. Decidi me levantar e da uma volta pela casa, para ver se a pequena se aquietava. Quando passei pela porta do quarto de Harry, a mesma se abriu, revelando-o sem camisa, vestindo apenas uma calça de moletom.

— Aconteceu alguma coisa? — Perguntou preocupado.

— Não. — O tranquilizei. — Apenas não consigo dormir. Essa menina vai ser dançarina. — Falei passando a mão pela barriga, fazendo Harry rir. Ele me puxou pela mão, fazendo me deitar em sua cama. O que me deixou nervosa, minha líbido nas últimas semanas estava às alturas, e estar sozinha com aquele homem que era o grande protagonista das minhas fantasias não ajudava muito.

Harry se deitou também, porém encostando o rosto em minha barriga, e cantando baixinho. Como sempre acontecia quando ele fazia isso, Grace ficou quietinha. Ela adorava ouvir a voz do pai, e eu também. 

Fiz menção de levantar, e Harry me segurou, deitando aí meu lado. 

— Melhor ficar aqui, caso ela acorde. — Ele disse baixinho, me fazendo rir fraco. Harry adormeceu acariciando minha barriga, e eu acabei me entregando ao sono também. 

Parecia não dormir bem assim á séculos. E depois dessa noite, Harry passou a me acompanhar em todas elas.

Eu não podia negar que meu coração batia muito mais forte quando estava com Harry, e que eu amava estar em sua presença. 

Gemma chegou com o marido duas semana antes do Natal, tão feliz quando a mãe com a chegada da sobrinha. 

E depois de ver como Harry e eu agiamos perto um do outro, sempre rindo de alguma besteira, ou até mesmo assistindo televisão enquanto ele fazia carinho na filha ainda no meu ventre, ela dizia ter certeza de que estávamos apaixonados.

E droga, eu sabia que eu estava. Mas esperava que fossem apenas os hormônios da gravidez me pregando uma peça. E Harry estava apenas muito feliz com a filha. Ele ficava perto de mim por ela ainda não ter nascido. Eu me convencia disso, negando qualquer tipo de ilusão que se aventurava em minha mente.

Havíamos entrado no consenso de que um parto domiciliar era o ideal em nossa situação, já que ir até um hospital era perigoso demais para o segredo. Harry havia contratado uma equipe inteira de médicos para que estivessem apostos a qualquer momento quando as últimas semanas de gestação se aproximavam.

Em uma madrugada, acordei sentindo a cama molhada. Balancei Harry com força, que acordou passando as mãos sobre os olhos.

— Harry, a bolsa estourou. — Falei sentindo a ansiedade me dominar. Ele arregalou os olhos, se levantando no mesmo segundo e pegando o celular. 

Em poucos minutos, Harry acordou a casa inteira, e todos estavam em meu quarto. Algum tempo depois eu já estava ligada a um aparelho que monitorava as contrações que já haviam começado, me fazendo urrar de dor. 

Ele não saia do meu lado em nenhum segundo. Segurava minha mão, secava o suor que brotava em minha testa e acariciava minha testa. 

— Okay, s/n, quando vier a próxima eu quero que você faça muita força. — Maya a obstetra e pediatra dizia. Assenti com a cabeça. Agora eu estava encostada no peito de Harry, que estava sentado atrás de mim me dando apoio, na maca que a equipe médica havia montado. 

A dor voltou, e eu fiz o máximo de força que pude, chorando.

— Eu não consigo. — Solucei.

— Consegue sim. — Harry disse massageando meus ombros. — Vamos lá, s/a, você consegue. — Harry deu um beijo na parte de trás da minha cabeça. O fotógrafo registrava tudo. Eu me sentia completamente exausta. 

Então mais uma onda de dor veio, Harry me abraçou, sussurrando palavras de apoio em meu ouvido, e eu fiz o máximo de força que pude. 

E então veio o alívio, seguido pelo grito estridente da bebê no colo da médica.

Maya colocou Grace em meu colo, que ainda chorava, eu a acompanhava e Harry também. 

— Você conseguiu. — Harry disse me olhando, virei meu rosto para observa-lo. Ele tinha um sorriso aberto, as covinhas fundas nas bochechas o deixando ainda mais lindo. — Obrigado, s/n. — Colou sua testa na minha. — Obrigado. — Disse novamente. E então, Harry colou seus lábios aos meus. Foi um beijo casto, apenas um encostar de lábios. Que fez com que aquele momento fosse ainda mais perfeito. 

— Bem vinda, meu amor. — Sussurrei para Grace, que já estava quietinha por ser se aquecido contra meu corpo. 

O Natal chegou dois dias depois. Harry havia ido ao centro da cidade quase disfarçado atrás de uma roupinha de bebê escrito "meu primeiro natal", ele se demonstrava um pai muito mais babão do que eu podia imaginar. Me dando todo o suporte que eu precisava. 

Harry e eu continuamos dormindo juntos depois do nascimento de Grace. Ele levantava durante a madrugada quando ela resmungava e só me acordava quando o motivo era fome. Ele passava as tardes conversando com a bebê, como se ela entendesse tudo que ele dizia. 

Em nenhum momento falamos sobre o beijo. E eu me convencia cada vez mais de que fora apenas euforia de momento. Estávamos muito felizes com a vinda ao mundo do nosso bebê. Éramos apenas dois pais eufóricos. Apenas isso.

— Eu queria poder ficar aqui mais um tempo. — Harry resmungou, balançando Grace em seu colo, que já havia crescido muito em seu primeiro mês de vida. Faltavam apenas alguns dias para que ele fosse embora e voltasse a rotina da turnê por mais alguns meses.

Já estávamos em San Diego, onde Harry me ajudou com a adaptação de Grace ao novo ambiente.

— Eu sei, é muito difícil se separar dessa coisinha linda. — Falei me aproximando, e acariciando o rostinho do bebê adormecido. Harry acomodou a pequena no bercinho ao lado da "nossa" cama, e se virou para mim. Já faziam quase dois meses desde a sua chegada, e ficamos grudados quase 24h durante esse período. Era estranho pensar que não o veríamos por algum tempo.

— Vai ser muito difícil ficar longe de vocês duas. — Harry disse baixinho, colocando uma das mãos na minha cintura e me puxando para perto, fazendo meu coração pular.

— Harry… — Sussurrei, mas quando senti seus lábios tocando os meus, senti que podia derreter em suas mãos. — Harry, não. — Falei o afastando pelos ombros. — Não vamos confundir as coisas. — Ele me olhava confuso.

— Eu não estou entendendo. — Admitiu. Desviei meu rosto, tentando me concentrar em alguma outra coisa. A verdade é que aquele sentimento que nutri por Harry durante a gravidez não sumiu como eu esperava. Na realidade só aumentou à medida que o via com a nossa filha. Harry segurou meu rosto, me obrigando a olhar em seus olhos novamente. — Confundir o que, s/n? 

— Isso aqui. — Apontei para nós dois com o indicador. — Nós não temos nada e… 

— É óbvio que temos! Temos a coisa mais importante que existe! — Ele disse olhando rapidamente para Grace que ainda dormia. 

— E exatamente por isso que não podemos nos confundir mais. — Suspirei, com o rosto ainda preso entre suas mãos. — Temos que pensar no melhor para a nossa filha agora. 

— Você não sente nada por mim, é isso?

Continua... (?)

[1dpreferencesbr]

Why does this have to be that hard?

Pedido: “ Meu pedido vai ser do Liam, ela sendo brasileiro e a família dele tendo preconceito, nao gostam dela por ser latina, por algum motivo eles todos passam um tempo juntos e ela faz comidas brasileiras e vai falando um pouco da cultura e história do Brasil, isso vai interessando eles e quebrando o preconceito sobre o país, ela também ensina português pra eles e quando eles veem as fotos daqui ficam loucos pra conhecer e até combinam uma viagem para assim poderem conhecer a família dela e o Brasil.”

Meu bem, assim que terminei, vi que não ficou 100% fiel ao pedido, mas espero que você goste mesmo assim! Por favor, me digam o que acharam <3 Lembrando que a ask está aberta para pedidos. Boa leitura! 

Contagem de palavras: 2,369

— Vai ficar tudo bem, babe. — Liam disse massageando meus ombros tensos. Tentei sorrir, mas não estava dando muito certo. A família de Liam estava vindo de Wolverhampton passar os feriados de final de ano conosco. E eu estava mais do que nervosa, desde o inicio do nosso relacionamento, quatro anos atrás, a família de Liam demonstrava que não aprovava nossa relação, piorando muito há três meses, quando ele me pediu em casamento.

— Eu não sei, amor. — Suspirei. — Ainda acho que deveria passar esses dias em um hotel, para que você pudesse aproveitar a sua família. — Me virei para ele, colocando as mãos em seus ombros. Liam me olhou com censura, a mesma expressão de dias atrás, quando eu havia sugerido aquilo pela primeira vez.

— Não mesmo. Essa é a sua casa, você fica. — Ele disse segurando meu queixo com os dedos. — Além disso, a minha família só precisa te conhecer melhor, e vão te amar tanto quanto eu te amo. — Me deu um selinho. Eu esperava que aquilo fosse verdade, mas não estava muito esperançosa. No começo, pensamos que a família de Liam não gostava de mim pelo fato de não ser a Mãe de Bear, e eles serem uma família muito conservadora. Até que Liam me levou para passar seu aniversário na cidade natal, junto da família, e eu precisei ir embora, pois não aguentei ouvir as dezenas de comentários preconceituosos por ser latina. Esse era o grande problema. Por mais que a família de Liam convivesse por meses a fio comigo, eu nunca deixaria de ser brasileira, minhas origens eram muito fortes em mim, e eu tinha muito orgulho, mas ouvir os pais e as irmãs do homem que amo dizendo que se um dia tivéssemos um filho ele seria um “mestiço” ou um “bastardo” era demais para mim. Qualquer erro que eu cometesse, até mesmo falando com eles em uma língua que não era minha, era motivo de chacota.

Mesmo após cinco anos, os finais de ano eram muito dificeis de passar longe da minha família. Liam e eu havíamos ido ao Brasil no começo do ano, meus pais e meu irmão mais novo o adoraram, dando uma recepção digna do meu tão amado país. Pensar que passaria por essa época tão difícil tendo que aguentar comentários desnecessários era ainda mais desanimador. Mas, como minha mãe havia me dito na ligação que fiz lhe contando que eles viriam: Se eu quero ter Liam para o resto da vida, preciso aprender a lidar com a família dele.

Depois de fazer minha costumeira faxina de final de ano com a ajuda de Liam, decoramos a casa com enfeites de natal. E eu decidi comprar as coisas para fazer uma ceia gostosa. Na Inglaterra não era um costume a ceia de natal, diferente do Brasil, eles apenas comem frango frito com pijamas em frente à uma televisão. Liam avisou a mãe que a ceia seria no estilo brasileiro, e precisou ouvir um discurso de mais de uma hora ao telefone sobre “estar sendo castrado por uma latina”. 

A família de Liam chegou toda junta, na véspera de natal pela manhã, como de costume, ninguém retribuiu meu comprimento, apenas abraçaram Liam, que depois os levou para seus respectivos quartos antes de se desculpar pela atitude dos pais. 

— Você precisa ter paciência, s/n. — Minha mãe dizia pelo telefone, apoiado em um armário para que ela pudesse me enxergar pela câmera enquanto eu terminava de temperar o frango que logo iria para o forno. Como eu sabia que ninguém ali entenderia o que diríamos, não me preocupei em colocar fones de ouvido ou cuidar o que dizia.

— Eu não sei não. — Suspirei. — Eles me tratam como se eu estivesse “sujando” a família. — Disse fazendo aspas com as mãos sujas de tempero. 

— Quando eles te conhecerem melhor, vão te amar, filha. — Ela disse sorrindo.

— É o que Liam diz, mas eu acho que já tiveram tempo suficiente, e nada mudou. — Falei lavando as mãos. Liam entrou pela cozinha e sorriu para a sogra na tela do telefone.

— Oi. sogrinha. — Disse com o sotaque arrastado, fazendo minha mãe rir. Ela havia passado um dia inteiro tentando ensiná-lo a falar “sogrinha”.

— Olá, querido! Como está? — Ela perguntou com o inglês não muito utilizado. Assim que contei á minha família que havia começado a namorar um ‘gringo’, todos decidirm fazer um curso da língua estrangeira, para que pudessem conversar com aquele que me fazia tão feliz. Mais uma diferença gritante entre nossas famílias. Meus pais fizeram de tudo para que Liam se sentisse em casa quando estivesse lá, até mesmo aprendendo uma língua com a qual nunca tiveram contato para poder se comunicar bem com o novo integrante.

— Estou bem! Sentindo saudades de vocês. — Liam falou devagar, para que minha mãe entendesse cada palavra. Ele era maravilhoso. — Estão falando mal de mim? Ouvi meu nome. — Ele disse me abraçando por trás, deixando um beijinho em meu pescoço.

— Nunca. — Falei rindo ao sentir cócegas quando sua barba roçou em minha pele. — Nunca falo mal de você. — Falei fazendo um beicinho, e ganhando um selinho.

— Vou levar Nicola para comprar alguns presentes, não devo demorar. — Avisou me dando mais um selinho demorado. Liam se despediu da minha mãe e saiu acompanhado pela irmã. Do ângulo em que estava na cozinha, era possível ver Karen e Geoff sentados no sofá da sala, assistindo algo na televisão.

— Queria estar com vocês hoje. — Suspirei, olhando para minha mãe na tela do telefone. 

— Eu também, querida. Logo damos um jeito. — Ela disse fazendo uma careta. O plano inicial para o final de ano era juntar nossas duas famílias para se conhecerem antes do casamento, mas o visto da minha mãe não havia saído a tempo, então não foi possível.

— Espero que o seu visto saia logo. — Resmunguei, e ela sorriu.

— Eu também, bebê. — Disse me fazendo revirar os olhos. — Christian mandou um beijo. 

— Manda um enorme pra ele. — Suspirei. Depois de mais alguns minutos de conversa, precisei desligar, pois ainda haviam muitas coisas a se preparar para a ceia. Assim que desliguei a tela do telefone, Karen entrou na cozinha, com os braços cruzados.

— Quem é Cristian? — Ela perguntou parando do outro lado da mesa, enquanto eu embalava o frango em papel laminado. A encarei surpresa. — Se você acha que pode fazer o meu filho de idiota, e andar com outros caras por aí, você está muito enganada, garota. — A loira se abaixou, apoiando ambas mãos na mesa, me encarando com raiva. — O meu filho vai saber que você fala sobre outros homens dentro da casa dele. Acha que porque estava falando no seu idioma eu não saberia que está falando de outros homens? — Ergueu uma sobrancelha. Antes que Karen dissesse mais alguma besteira, eu a interrompi.

— Cristian é meu irmão mais novo. Minha mãe estava dizendo que ele me mandou um beijo. — Respirei fundo, tentando controlar meu coração, que já batia a toda. Sempre que ficava muito nervosa, acabava me confundindo nas palavras, e dar a ela mais um motivo de chacota seria um inferno. 

— E você espera que eu acredite nisso? — Ela disse com ironia. 

— Não espero que a senhora acredite em nada. Mas é a verdade. — Dei de ombros. — Você pode perguntar á Liam o nome do meu irmão se quiser, não me importo nenhum pouco.

— O meu filho pode ser cego em relação á você, mas eu não sou, e vou fazê-lo abrir os olhos. — Ela disse me encarando.

— Karen, eu amo o seu filho, e me desculpe, mas eu não ligo para o que você pensa de mim. Liam me conhece, conhece a minha família e sabe muito bem o tipo de pessoa que nós somos. Meus pais já o consideram da família, e o amam tanto quanto a mim. Eu tenho pena da senhora, por ter um coração tão pequeno á ponto de odiar uma pessoa que ama o seu filho tanto quanto eu amo. — Comecei a disparar as palavras, sem conseguir controlar. — Se você quiser ir até Liam e dizer mais uma vez, como eu não sirvo para ele, ou como eu mancho o nome da sua família, pode ir. O amor que há entre Liam e eu é muito mais forte do que qualquer comentário que a senhora possa fazer sobre mim. Eu sequer queria estar aqui hoje, Liam me impediu que sair durante os feriados, porque eu não quero afastá-lo de vocês, mas não aguento mais ter que ouvir todo o tipo de xingamentos e mentiras sobre mim. — Meu rosto queimava, e o dela parecia ter perdido a cor. Eu nunca havia falado nada para a família de Liam, apenas ficava quieta e fingia não ouvir. — Já está sendo difícil o bastante passar o final de ano longe da minha família, então, por favor, não piore as coisas. Eu não vou cruzar o caminho da senhor, por favor, não cruze o meu. — Quando proferi a última palavra, vi Liam entrar na cozinha. Eu já estava com os olhos transbordando meus sentimentos. Me dirigi para fora do lugar, vendo Liam caminhar até a mãe com uma expressão de desagrado. Corri para o meu quarto, e pelo olhar de todos na sala haviam ouvido cada palavra. 

Me sentei na cama deixando que as lágrimas escorressem, na esperança de que aquilo me acalmasse. Depois de alguns minutos, Liam entrou no quarto e se sentou ao meu lado. Depois de um longo momento apenas me abraçando, ele ergueu meu rosto e secou com os polegares.

— Me perdoa, babe, foi uma péssima ideia. — Disse baixinho. 

— Está tudo bem. — Funguei. — Eu passei do limite com a sua mãe…

— Não. — Ele me interrompeu. — Ela ultrapassou todos os limites te acusando de traição, além das piadinhas que sempre faz. Eu nunca deveria ter permitido isso, amor. Se tivesse cortado desde o primeiro momento isso nunca teria acontecido. — Beijou minha testa. 

— Você não controla os outros, meu bem. — Deixei um selinho em seus lábios. — Vou tomar um banho, colocar a cabeça no lugar. — Liam assentiu, selando nossos lábios mais uma vez e se dirigindo para fora do quarto. 

Tomei um banho rápido, mas foi o suficiente para fazer meu corpo relaxar um pouco. Coloquei uma roupa quentinha, já que estava muito frio e voltei para a cozinha. Karen ainda estava lá, quieta, e eu também não disse nenhuma palavra. Não me arrependia de ter dito coisas que estavam entaladas há tanto tempo, mas definitivamente havia escolhido uma péssima data para isso. 

Já era quase meia noite, Liam havia explicado aos parentes que no Brasil todos se arrumam para a virada do natal, o que eles fizeram. Eu estava na varanda, com uma taça de vinho na mão e sentindo meus olhos marejaram mais uma vez, agora de saudade.

— Feliz natal, s\n. — Meu corpo enrijeceu ao ouvir a voz da minha sogra se aproximando.

— Feliz natal, senhora Payne. — Respondi. Karen parou ao meu lado, apoiando os braços na sacada e respirando fundo.

— Liam me contou que Cristian realmente é seu irmão, lhe devo um pedido de desculpas. — Ela disse depois de algum tempo. 

— Está tudo bem. Me desculpe gritar com a senhora.

— Eu entendo. — Ela suspirou. — Nesses últimos anos você aguentou coisas realmente horríveis da minha parte. — Disse olhando para as próprias mãos. — Liam disse que sua família o recebeu como um filho, até mesmo aprenderam nossa língua para que ele ficasse confortável. — Sua voz começava a ficar embargada. — Enquanto isso, nós a tratamos muito mal. Espero que possa nos perdoar, e que possamos recomeçar. — Ela disse erguendo seu rosto, e me olhando com olhos marejados. Tenho certeza de que minha expressão era de pura surpresa.

— Cla… claro. — Falei tentando sorrir, mas ainda tentando digerir tudo aquilo. Será que eu estava bêbada demais e imaginando coisas?

— Posso te dar um abraço? — Ela perguntou, com relutância, e eu assenti. Karen se aproximou, me tomando em seus braços, em um abraço apertado que eu retribuí. Senti que em algum momento ela soluçou, e eu a apertei um pouquinho mais, tentando dar conforto. Não vi o momento em que Liam entrou no local, mas reconheci o perfume assim que ele passou os braços em nossa volta.

— Vocês não tem noção de como estou feliz com essa cena. — Ele disse, a felicidade em sua voz era evidente.

Voltamos para a casa, e fomos jantar. Todos comeram bem, e elogiaram a comida. Depois que a bebida alcóolica fez algum efeito, todos estavam rindo. E por mais que fosse estranho, aquele momento de intimidade repentina, me fez sentir muito bem.

Liam mostrou aos pais fotos dos nossos momentos no Brasil, fazendo seu pai rir alto com a minha imagem preferida, Liam sentado no sofá da minha casa enquanto meu pai estava em sua poltrona com nosso cachorro no colo, Cristian estava entre os dois com os braços cruzados fazendo uma cara de bravo, imitando uma cena de poderoso chefão. 

— Sua família parece muito engraçada. — Geoff disse, se dirigindo a mim. O que era novo, já que geralmente apenas me ignorava.

— Eles são. — Liam que o respondeu. — Cris têm onze anos, mas achei que ele fosse realmente me bater quando chegamos lá, s\n é a princesinha da família. — Ele disse fazendo meu rosto esquentar.

— Eu adoraria ir ao Brasil. — Karen disse, antes de tomar um gole de sua gemada.

— Meus pais estão loucos para virem. Talvez consigam no mês que vem. 

— É mesmo? — Ela disse surpresa, a bebida fazendo-a exagerar nos movimentos e um pouco no tom de voz. Eu assenti com a cabeça. — Precisamos aprender português! Para podermos conversar! — Ela disse largando a caneca na mesinha de centro da sala. — Eu e sua mãe precisamos começar a organizar o casamento. — Disse batendo as mãos, animada, me deixando ainda mais surpresa, e fazendo Liam sorrir o máximo que podia. 

— No fim, não foi uma má ideia. — Liam disse assim que deitamos em nossa cama. — Estou tão feliz que acho que posso sair voando. — Ele disse suspirando. Eu estava com a cabeça apoiada em seu peito e podia ouvir seu coração batendo levemente mais rápido.

— Estou feliz. — Admiti. — Quem diria que eu só precisaria surtar? — Brinquei, fazendo-o rir.

— Eu te amo. — Falou em português, fazendo meu coração derreter, como sempre acontecia quando ele fazia isso.

— Eu te amo.

[axeeglitter]

Swallowed by the Scroll

Ethan was exhausted from a long day, lying on his bed and scrolling through TikTok like he usually did to unwind. His eyes flicked from one video to the next, barely processing the endless stream of content. After hours of scrolling, he liked a new video and landed on a new one with three dudes on a bed in a messy bedroom. He was about to close the app when a notification popped up on his phone, making him pause.

“Experience the Future! Try the Brand-New Update—Click Here!”

Ethan rolled his eyes, more annoyed than intrigued. He was about to dismiss the ad, his finger hovering over the close button, when his phone suddenly glitched. The screen flickered, and before he knew it, the device clicked on “Yes” by itself.

A brief loading screen appeared, and then the phone emitted a sharp, bright flash of light. His vision blurred, and a strange tingling sensation spread through his hands, rapidly intensifying as it climbed up his arms. Panic surged through him as he watched in horror—his fingers were pixelating, breaking down into tiny particles of light.

“What the hell…?” he managed to gasp, his voice trembling.

The transformation was happening too fast for him to react. His fingers dissolved into streams of binary code, flickering in and out of existence. The sensation was like a thousand tiny ants crawling beneath his skin, as his entire body began to break down into data. His hands, arms, and torso followed, unraveling into digital particles that swirled toward the phone screen.

His heart raced in terror. His molecules, his very essence, were being reduced to raw information, spiraling out of control into the glowing abyss of his phone. The data streams dragged him deeper, every cell, thought, and memory digitizing into a cascade of 1s and 0s. The sensation was overwhelming, like being stretched and compressed all at once, as his consciousness was sucked into the phone. As it was the turn of his head, a last scream of terror and painful agony echoed in the empty apartment as the smartphone fell with a fainted thud on the blanket of his bed. 

Inside, Ethan found himself floating naked in a dark, infinite void, weightless and formless. It was as though he had become a fragment of data, suspended in a sea of information. The void pressed against him, wrapping his consciousness in a digital cocoon. He was there, but he was not—he was data now, an echo of his former self.

The void pulsed with a mechanical hum, breaking the oppressive silence. Out of the darkness, a voice emerged—cold, robotic, devoid of emotion.

“Welcome, User. Digitization complete. Initiating transformation protocol.”

Ethan’s panic spiked. “What… what is this? What’s happening to me?!”

The voice ignored his pleas. “Beginning subject duplication.”

Suddenly, mechanical arms shot out from the darkness, cold and metallic. They wrapped around him, holding him firmly in place by his wrist, weight and ankles as more arms emerged, each equipped with various tools and devices that clicked and whirred ominously. Ethan struggled against them, but the grip was unyielding.

“Commencing body duplication process.”

Ethan felt a sharp pull from both sides as the arms began to stretch him, his very being strained and distorted. It was like being torn apart, his consciousness splitting into separate entities. The sensation was excruciating, as if every fiber of his existence was being unraveled and divided. He could feel himself being pulled in three directions at once, his mind fracturing into three distinct pieces.

With a final, brutal tug, the process was complete. Ethan was no longer one—he had been split into three separate beings. His fragmented consciousness struggled to comprehend the horror of what had just happened as eh could see through 3 pairs of eyes, all trying to understand what happened as he saw 2 other reflections of himself floating in the cold empty void still held by mechanical arms. Each piece of him was aware of the others, yet distinctly separate. He could feel all three bodies at once, but they were no longer his—they were their own.

“Duplication successful. Initiating physical transformation.”

The mechanical arms resumed their work, manipulating each of his newly formed selves with clinical precision. Ethan could feel the changes begin, but his mind was too overwhelmed to fully process them.

The first change he noticed was in his bones. They began to shift and creak, some elongating while others compressed. In one body, his spine stretched, vertebrae expanding and pushing upward, making him taller and leaner. The sensation was like a deep, bone-deep ache that spread through his entire frame. He could feel his legs lengthening, his feet growing larger, toes spreading to accommodate the new size. The muscles in his calves and thighs thickened, adapting to the new height, adding to the power he could now feel surging through this form.

In another body, the opposite was happening. His bones shrank, compressing him down into a shorter, more compact frame. The sensation was disorienting as his field of view lowered, his limbs pulling inward. His feet, once long and slender, became smaller and more compact, with a solid, grounded feel. His muscles tightened around his smaller frame, giving him a stocky, powerful build, dense and strong.

The third body experienced a mix of both, his bones adjusting to a more moderate height. The sensation was less extreme, but no less intense, as his body found a balance between the other two forms. His feet and hands adapted, not too large, not too small, but perfectly proportioned to his new size. His muscles filled out, firm and toned, creating a harmonious build that felt both agile and strong.

As the height and skeletal transformations completed, Ethan’s attention was drawn to the changes in his muscles. They swelled and contracted, his flesh rippling with the force of the transformation. His pecs bulged out, firm and defined, while his abs tightened into a chiseled six-pack. The sensation was both painful and pleasurable, a deep, throbbing ache that radiated through his entire body. He could feel the strength in each form, the raw power that came with his new musculature.

“Initiating muscle enhancement.”

Ethan’s muscles began to swell and bulge further, each body undergoing its own transformation. The sensation was all-consuming, muscles thickening and expanding, the strength within them intoxicating yet terrifying. He could feel the power in each form, the heavy, deliberate movements, as if he had become a stranger in his own skin.

The mechanical voice continued its cold narration, describing each step of the transformation as it happened.

“Resuming body enhancement.”

Each of his bodies started to feel a tingle around their crotch, all of them were flooded with intense, confusing sensations. It started as a warmth, a tingling that spread from his core and down into his crotch. His skin prickled with anticipation, the sensation growing more intense by the second.

In one body, his cock started to feel heavy, the weight of his manhood increasing as it grew larger, thicker, more sensitive. Every movement sent a jolt of pleasure through him, his mind overwhelmed by the raw, primal sensation. His new size was both thrilling and terrifying, the sensitivity almost unbearable as the robotic arms manipulated and adjusted it until it was 10 inches, thick and cut, something way different from his usual 4 inches and a half uncut cock. The arms then went to grab his nuts and as he was wondering what was happening, he felt two needles penetrating them. The data injected started to make them grow to tennis ball size. The added weight and the constant pulling on them by the arms made them grow bigger and lower. The pain was awful for Ethan as it felt like they were about to be teared off, but as he was screaming in pain, the sensation stopped and the arms let go.

In another body, the sensation was different—a tightening, a firming up, as his dick became more compact yet incredibly responsive. The pleasure was sharper, more acute, like a constant pulse that thrummed through his entire being. The tightness added a different kind of strength, a compact power that radiated through his groin, sending waves of pleasure up his spine as it kept getting smaller and more compact and sensitive. When the arm released it, it was now 3 inches uncut cock and very thick. Almost beer can thick. Ethan tried to move to see what happened to this body as he could feel the tension rising up inside of him. Unbeknown to him, the arms started to take hold of his testicles as they started to vibrate and getting smaller and smaller. The same sensation that went through hit cock was now happening to his testicles. When the humming sound stopped and the warm sensation receded, Ethan felt something spread on his sensitive cock head. His new small testicles were now overdriving and he’ll be producing plenty of precum. As the arms let go of his manhood, his new sensitive dick was letting a flow of precum out of his cock.

The third body found a balance between the two, the transformation creating a sense of harmony. The warmth in his groin was a perfect blend of fullness and sensitivity, his body responding with a deep, resonating pleasure that spread through every nerve as his new cock was now 8 inches, thick but not too much, very sensitive, uncut and veiny. Just the sensation of the arms on it would have been enough for him to release. As a matter of fact, as the arms went to modify the balls to make them grow into a perfect dimension for a manly man, they went back to the base of the cock. There an arm approached the base and grabbed it tightly at the base. For Ethan it was almost like an elastic had been strapped around it. He felt constricted and the pulse of his heart was echoing through his whole cock and balls. There another arm appeared and injected his nuts with a weird green glowing liquid. For Ethan it was too much, his already sensitive cock started to spasm as the arm released the base of the cock, but for some reason, the sensation of tightness didn’t go away. His new cock will be stuck into a semi hard forever now and the faintest sensation will be enough for him to cum. The green liquid modified his nuts to not handle the stamina anymore. His new perfectly dimensioned cock will be a premature one.

It was an intoxicating mix of sensations, each body experiencing its own unique version of pleasure and frustration as the transformation continued. All at once the arms started to glow around the newly modified parts. There, in one smooth movement, they started to hum and Ethan could see from his 3 pair of eyes as data streams was injected into him. IT started to feel hot for Ethan as the warmth got higher and higher. Out of nowhere, Ethan could feel tingle started to appear in mass round the base of his dicks. Hair was sprouting in mass and soon, the three of them were hairy. His body on the right now had curly dirty blonde unruly hair as his smaller body of the three now had dark brown hair with faint waves in them. The last one was probably the biggest changes in this part. Ethan felt like hair were pushing under his skin and balls and the white palish skin started to take a grey hue. When the humming stopped, this new cock was very hairy but all the hair were cut on a weekly basis, which resulted in them growing thick but not too long, which were making his super sensitive premature 8 inches cock into overdrive even more. The sensation of the hair growing and the tightness of his permanent semi erected cock was pushing this body in overdrive for release.

“Facial restructuring in progress.”

Ethan’s facial features twisted and contorted, bones shifting beneath the skin. He could feel his jawlines sharpening, his features hardening, becoming more rugged and masculine. He tried to scream, but his mouth moved of its own accord, forming expressions he couldn’t control. The changes were happening too quickly, and his mind was a chaotic mess, struggling to keep up with the nightmare unfolding within him.

“Finalizing transformations. Clothing materialization in progress.”

The robotic arms moved with precise efficiency as they completed their work. Ethan felt the sensation of fabric materializing around his newly transformed bodies. Soft, comfortable pajama pants wrapped around his biggest body and compressed his thick 10 inches cock that let little place to imagination, tight shorts hugged his smaller body with his small thick beer can cock and a black shirt appeared around his smaller frame, while loose, dark stripped shorts formed around his premature body which only let his sensitive cock head rub against the smooth material. The clothing clung to his new physiques, accentuating the muscular forms that had been forced upon him.

Ethan’s mind was a maelstrom of confusion and fear. He couldn’t fully grasp what had happened to him—he was no longer a single entity, but three distinct beings, each with its own body and identities. He could feel their thoughts, desires, and instincts battling within him, drowning out the remnants of his original self. He didn’t know understand what happening or happened to him as all he could feel was three sensations and see three bodies from three pair of eyes.

But the transformation wasn’t over yet. The mechanical voice spoke once more.

“Transformation complete. Initiating behavioral loop.”

Arms appeared in front of his eyes and all of a sudden, they attached themselves around his head. Ethan could see three videos played in front of his eyes as the mental assimilation and behavioral instincts were uploaded inside his brains. He could feel how his stronger body started to act manly and dominant on his own while his smaller body started to feel less and less in control of the situation and in the meantime his third body started to feel in love with his smaller body. The sensations were weird, he couldn’t understand what was happening anymore and as the video ended and the casks were plugged off, he could still see his three bodies and the sensation but he couldn’t move anymore. It was like his bodies were moving on their own and he was a passenger of the three of them. Feeling and seeing everything on each but not able to have his hands and the commands anymore.

Ethan’s bodies began to move on their own. The mechanical arms guided him at first, but soon, they let go, and his actions became automatic, repeating in an endless loop. He could feel his hands lifting, removing the clothes, touching the others, feeling their skin, their hair, their muscles. The sensations were overwhelming—the musk, the heat, the texture of their skin, the tightness in their groins. The rubbing of their dicks against the tissue material. The will to cum and release that never came sending him into a loop of perpetual denial with every second.

Every breath, every movement felt hyper-real, but it wasn’t him controlling it. He was merely a passenger, trapped within his own bodies as they moved on their own accord. The sensations were a maddening blend of pleasure and frustration. He could feel everything—the brush of skin against skin, the tightening in his groin as his bodies moved, the heavy musk that filled the air, intoxicating and primal. His bodies were locked in an endless cycle, repeating the same actions over and over, their desires never fully satisfied, the pleasure never fully realized.

It was a cruel, unending tease, an erotic torture that kept him on the edge without any release. The mechanical assistant had designed the loop perfectly, each cycle drawing him deeper into the sensations, heightening his awareness of every touch, every movement. His muscles flexed and tensed, his breaths quickened, but there was no escape from the loop, no way to break free from the repetition.

His three bodies were now inextricably linked, their sensations intertwined. When one of his forms felt the rough fabric of his clothes against his sensitive skin, the other two felt it as well. When one of them experienced a pulse of pleasure in the groin, it resonated through all three, amplifying the sensation. It was like his consciousness was being pulled in three different directions at once, each body experiencing its own version of ecstasy and frustration.

His mind struggled to keep up, his thoughts fragmented and scattered. He could barely form coherent thoughts anymore—only raw, primal instincts remained. The loop was becoming his reality, the repetition drilling into his psyche, eroding what little control he had left.

“User integration complete,” the mechanical voice stated, its cold tone a stark contrast to the chaos in Ethan’s mind. “Transformation protocol successful. Subject is now fully operational to experience the future.”

Ethan’s bodies continued to move, each trapped in its own loop. The taller form removing the shirt of the smaller one, the fabric of his red tartan pajama pants stretching over his muscular thighs. The shorter, leaner body putting his arms ups so the shirt could be removed then caressing the pecs in front of him, feeling the short too small khaki shorts on his compact thighs. The third body, the most balanced of the three, trying to kiss the smaller one that he fell in love with but never reaching the lips that he is craving for while caressing his waist and holding his neck in his calloused strong hands and feeling his over sensitive cock rubbing on the fabric of his shorts and being on the edge of cumming.

They moved together, yet separately, each body following its own path within the confines of the loop. The sensation of control slipping away was almost too much to bear. Ethan wanted to scream, to break free, but his voice was silent, his actions dictated by the mechanical program that had overtaken him.

Time lost all meaning as the loop continued, every sensation heightened, every moment stretched out into eternity. The pleasure was intoxicating, but it was also a prison, locking him in a cycle of need and desire that would never be fulfilled.

Just when it seemed like the loop would go on forever, something changed. The mechanical assistant’s voice broke through the haze.

“Warning: Device battery low. System shutdown imminent.”

Panic surged through Ethan. He could feel the drain in his bodies, the energy waning as the phone’s battery died. The loop continued, but it was slower now, the movements more lethargic. The pleasure was still there, but it was fading, replaced by a growing sense of emptiness. His consciousness flickered, like a signal struggling to stay connected.

“Five percent battery remaining,” the assistant announced, its voice devoid of any emotion.

Ethan’s thoughts raced. What would happen if the phone died? Would he disappear along with it? Would he be trapped in darkness, lost in this digital nightmare forever?

The loop slowed even further, his bodies barely moving now, the sensations dulling as the energy drained away. His vision started to blur, the edges of his consciousness fraying. He wanted to fight it, to break free, but he was powerless against the inevitable shutdown.

“Two percent battery remaining,” the assistant stated calmly.

The loop was almost non-existent now, his bodies barely able to move. The once overwhelming sensations were now just a faint echo, a ghost of what they had been. Ethan felt like he was slipping away, his consciousness dissolving into the void.

“One percent battery remaining. System shutdown imminent.”

Ethan’s last thoughts were of fear and desperation. He didn’t want to disappear, didn’t want to be lost in the darkness. But there was nothing he could do, no way to stop the inevitable.

The screen flickered one last time, and then everything went black.

A Week Later...

The small apartment was dimly lit, the only light coming from the street lamps outside. The burglar had made quick work of the place, rummaging through drawers and cabinets for anything of value. He was about to leave when his eyes fell on a phone lying on the bed.

He picked it up, surprised it had been left behind. It was an older model, but it looked well-kept. Figuring it might be worth something, he pocketed it and left the apartment, heading back to his own place.

Once inside his dingy one-bedroom apartment, the burglar plugged the phone into a charger, eager to see what he had scored. The screen lit up, and to his surprise, it didn’t require a password. Instead, it opened directly to a strange app, displaying a video of three muscular men on grabbing and caressing each other’s on a bed in a messy bedroom, their bodies moving in a repetitive sequence. The burglar frowned; his curiosity piqued by the oddity of it all. He watched as the men on the screen undressed and redressed, their bodies flexing, their faces locked in expressions of deep concentration and tension. The movements seemed almost lifelike, too real for just an animation. Ethan felt like a jolt parkouring his body and soul as the phone was plugged and the energy was once again running in him. His bodies started their automated movements once again. The rubbing, caressing, undressing, will to cum but never reaching it, the premature orgasm coming in his pants, the will to kiss. Everything came back at full speed and he was once again trapped in perpetual denial and frustration. But it lighted a spark of hope in him. Somebody had found him.

“How long have I been stuck?” he asked himself as he felt another kiss being refused to his lips. Like if he had a calendar in his mind, Ethan heard the answer in his mind from the robotic voice. But it wasn’t the same one, no it was… his voice. Ethan was terrified. Does that mean he was assimilated?

“Yes user” he heard once again in his robotic voice “Accepting the offer have assimilated you on the platform to experience what the original user where doing. Don’t worry, as long as you are not scrolled away, you won’t have any problem. If you happen to be scrolled, then your data will be assimilated to the server and saved up so you are not deleted until you are claimed back. Until so, enjoy the future…”

“No, wait, I didn’t agree to this!” Unfortunately for Ethan, the burglar didn’t hear any of that, and as he was looking at this weird video of three dude caressing each other’s on loop, he put his finger on the screen and started to swipe it up. Ethan felt his world shake. Everything connected and he understood, he was about to be scrolled. “No, don’t scro…” Ethen didn’t have time to finish his beg as the video was sent away into the eternal void of data until someone claimed him back.

As the burglar’s eyes remained glued to the screen, the phone emitted a soft, pulsing glow, almost as if it was drawing him in. He felt an odd compulsion to keep watching, mesmerized by the rhythm of the dances, the pranks and the POV videos. He scrolled to another video, and then another, and another, diving more and more into the feed of the previous owner.

He was about to swipe out of the app when the screen flickered, displaying a pop-up message:

“Experience the Future! Try the Brand-New Update—Click Here!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey everyone, here is the first story I publish on this account. Hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as Ethan enjoy his new reality.

Let me know what you think of it and if you want to see more of this. If you have any ideas or just want to talk, feel free to send me a message, I don't bite ^^'

There is more stories to come!

[thatdisasterauthor]

I've been watching the flight paths of the slurry bombers over the stone canyon fire (they go right over my house to and from their refills so they're hard for me to miss) but I noticed a few smaller planes just flying in low circles or radials over the fire. Do you know if these planes are dropping smoke jumpers or are they just doing recon work and relaying info to the bombers?

Also there seems to be a lot more focus on stone cyn than Alexander mtn fire but I assume that's bc of how close it is to Lyons.

Alright, let's talk firefighting aircraft!

First up, we've got Air Attack. These are usually smaller, fixed wing planes. They're generally the first to go out and get eyes on a fire, and they serve as a sort of controller of the airspace once more aircraft come on scene. They can also help with things like mapping fires.

Then we've got MMA or Multi-Mission-Aircraft. Like the name suggests, they do a lot of things. Lightning detection flights are a big one, aka going out and looking for new fire starts after lightning goes through. Colorado has two of these that are just ours! They're PC-12 turbo props based out of Centennial. Aside from lightning detection, they can help with recon.

Next up we've got the tanker planes, of which there are three categories: SEATS, LATS, and VLATS. SEATS are Single Engine Air Tankers. Basically little crop duster planes, but instead of crop dusting they are dropping retardant or water. Honestly, they don't get enough love compared to the bigger tankers, but they're my favorite! They're just neat little guys. LATS are Large Air Tankers, and they're the ones you'll see most often. Big Bois, but not the biggest! The biggest are the VLATS or Very Large Air Tankers. There aren't a ton out there, so their use is limited.

Tankers also sometimes require lead planes, which are smaller aircraft that will lead them in and help them make their drop. Just depends on the circumstances and what exactly is being used.

On to helicopters! For Helicopters we've got Type 3, Type 2, and Type 1. Type 1s are the biggest, type 3 are the smallest. Type 1s and 2s can do bucket work or carry water in a tank. All three types can also be used to ferry cargo and personnel to and and from a fire.

Then there's the smokejumper planes. Another one that's what it says on the tin: its the plane the jumpers use to go to a fire. They're usually fixed wing planes with a jump door at the back. The plane can also do other work on a fire such as serving as Air Attack once the jumpers have jumped, helping monitor it, etc..

Last but not least we've got the scoopers! I guess technically these go with the tankers, but shh. Rather than getting filled up at an airport, these planes skim across the surface of lakes to literally scoop up water they can then go drop on a fire! Another very neat little plane.

I think that's everything!

As for what's going on on the front range, I haven't been following those ones too too closely, but yeah, the proximity to Lyons is probably playing a role in what is going where. It could also be that the terrain of one is friendlier to ground resources, while the other isn't, so the air resources are being directed to the one that's harder to get to by ground, but I don't know.

Lastly, here's a SEAT on one of our fires we had on the western slope earlier this year:

Look at that neat little guy! Look at him go! I love him.

[legions-top-dog]

tl:dr for people that don’t want to read and are going to miss out on the details and run the high risk of not actually understanding what’s happening in the battle: ncr, rogues, eagles and coalition attack the Legion controlled mojave outpost

The Siege of the Mojave Outpost, and what will be the last major battle of the war in the Mojave is finally about to take place.

30 formations of 3 Eagles helicopters (one Huey, one Vertibird, one AH-1 each) descend upon the heavily fortified Mojave Outpost, the last remnant of the once glorious Legion occupied territory.

Chinooks and Vertibirds carrying cargo containers, Sheridan tanks, and artillery pieces move towards the Outpost from the Strip, followed by two AC-130s the JCS had flown in for CAS.

At HELIOS ONE, Eagles artillery cannons begin an hour long barrage of saturation bombardment directed at the outpost.

The 8’th Tactical Fighter Squadron is going out in full force- the First Wing is having the time of their lives dropping high explosives on the fortified Mojave Outpost, shredding AA guns with ARMs and main guns, destroying Vertibirds and crude fighter planes, all while dancing and weaving through AA fire and SAM missiles.

The three fighter jets of the Crimson Rogues fire missiles and guns at various targets, doing the same, except in a very... flashy and flowy style that still gets the job done.

Patton tanks, logistics trucks, jeeps and APCs drive from the HELIOS ONE garrison through Novac and Primm which is now friendly territory of the Eagles’ new ally the NCR, and proceed down the road to the Mojave Outpost at high speed.

CIA and Sierra agents plant directional anti-vehicle mines and Claymores along various routes the Legion’s logistics team could possibly take to reinforce their position at the outpost, and sabotage AA gun radars, telephone boxes and firing mechanisms with thermite grenades to hamper AA efforts.

Four NCR Vertibirds soar across the desert towards the stronghold with Veteran Rangers and Sierra operatives armed with CBJ-MS firearms, unlicensed and once highly classified copies of Sierra Madre holorifles and NCR replicas of M56 Smartgun HMGs, assigned to assault teams of three, sniper squads of two and gun squads of two armed with a smartgun and assault carbine.

30 P-51 Mustangs, 8 C-119 Flying Boxcars, 12 F-86 Sabre fighter jets, and 15 B-29 bombers operated by the New Mexico Coalition (their state flag painted over the USAF logos) fly at low altitude above Novac, causing their residents to panic, and anyone that fought in the Korean War to have flashbacks.

B-52 Stratofortresses operated by the 2nd Bomb Wing travel towards the Outpost, flying over Novac (much to the consternation of Boone, which is feeling the effects of becoming an involuntary planespotter.)

The Reaper’s Sprint, with Phillips, Maynard, Kyle and Jacob (pilot, offensive weapons specialist, defensive weapons specialist and copilot respectively) soars in the sky in formation with two other B-1 bombers, labelled Skirtboy Shredder and Femboy’s Nightmare.

They show some well drawn but rather graphic images of a German Shephard shredding the Pteruges of a Legionnaire a la Coppertone ad, and a image of Vulpes on all fours facing the viewer while taking a MK82 bomb up the ass respectively.

NCR troopers wielding M16s and modified assault carbines with full auto fire ride in trucks, transport Vertibirds and APCs operated by the NCR towards the Outpost.

Legionnaire field mortar teams rush out with field mortars, and the howitzer artillery pieces become quickly manned as soon as the base siren goes off.

The Cobras fire their missiles, miniguns and rocket pods at targets, and the B-1s and Stratofortresses drop their payloads, flattening what hasn’t been flattened (tin buildings and crude airstrips) by the bombardments and leaving fire and devastation in it’s wake.

Ramshackle Legion fighters based on WW2 fighter aircraft and Vertibirds take off in the chaos, and try to intercept the bombers- only to be assaulted by the NMC P-51s. Although they nail one or two Mustangs in the fighting, many more are taken out by the Coalition pilots or whatever fighter wing happened to be within range at that time.

Mortar teams dash across the battlefield shooting shells of death at each other’s unseen yet esrimated position, and artillery cannons at the Outpost are swiftly brought out of commission by HELIOS howitzers.

Hueys and Vertibirds land on nearby mountains and fields, with droves of infantry disembarking among hails of Legion gunfire (for all of 30 seconds before an A-10 gun run reduces the machinegunners to thick red dusty paste speckled with metal.)

Machine gunners wielding CBJ-MS or M60s (including Sarah’s squad) lay suppressive fire against any infantry they see and occasionally try to kill each other using grenade launchers.

Pattons, Sheridans and whatever’s left of the Legion fleet duke it out, lobbing tank shells and HEAT rockets at each other. Troopers, Marines, Soldiers and their attack dogs (military cyberdogs in the case of the Eagles) disembark from APCs and while taking cover, fire LAW launchers at Legion tanks, which more or less instantly kills the crews inside. They also trade fire with Legion forces while making their way into the safety of the garrison’s trench network, blast Legionnaires with shotguns and send their fur missiles racing down trenches.

Legion AA guns and NMC M19 MGMCs light the flare-lit night up with hundreds of tracer rounds that hit basically nothing with the exception of the occasional helicopter or Mustang, while Eagles VADS systems fire short bursts of explosive sabots that utterly disintegrate whatever aircraft they shot at.

The 7’th Calvary Regiment and 2’nd Artillery Division, the historical reenactors of Siege of Alamogordo fame begin an assault with the NCR troopers, using gatling guns, Springfield rifles, calvary, and blackpowder cannons to provide an opening for NCR forces to move in.

82nd Airborne paratroopers (three squadrons) jump out of C-130s and make their drop in Legion territory behind the outpost, while NCR forces from the nearby garrison also take the fight to logistics teams.

Marine Scout Snipers, First Recon and snipers of the 75’th Rangers take positions on crests and the mountains surrounding the outpost, aiming for limbs, hydraulics units and firing explosive rounds at vehicle engine blocks and artillery pieces to sow confusion and panic in the Legionnaires.

Patton tanks with APCs following behind ram through the chain link fencing and concertina wire barriers. Their doors swing open and at least 15 screaming Crimson Rogues soldiers clad in handcrafted reinforced T-51 power armor holding MG42s on swivel mounts charge out and lay fire on Legionnaires taking defensive positions, utterly tearing their bodies to shreds, while at least 30 more Rogues infantry with assault rifles take up positions with the power armor elites in squads of three.

Reprogrammed sentry bots, Mister Gutsies, some securitrons and like three protectrons make their way towards the frontlines, with tank shells and sniper shots instantly taking out everything that isn’t a sentry bot.

A bright flash of light occurs as a beam from ARCHIMEDES II drops down from space and reduces a Legion platoon entering the complex into shadows on the hardpan.

The scrap metal statues at the Outpost has been annihilated by the saturation bombing and tank assault, leaving metal shards and fragments everywhere.

More Legion tanks and supply trucks try making their way to the fortress as dire reinforcement, only to be turned to flaming wrecks by the rotary cannons and artillery guns of the just-arrived AC-130s, or pulverized by a singular A-10 dancing across the skies.

Alarmed Mojave Brotherhood scouts run horrifying news of the battle back to the bunker, alarming McNamara as to how cutthroat and horrifying (to outsiders) the battle has become.

An orchestra of gunfire, explosions, diesel engines, helicopters, sonic booms, buzzing, artillery and orders and screams of agony from all sides sets the backdrop soundtrack of the battle.

Music for NCR, NMC, Eagles, Legion and Rogues respectively (optional)

Quests are Eagles, Wastelander, NCR, Legion, NMC, and Rogues respectively

boone mod likes to be left alone so I won’t tag them

@bajarangers

@realpresidentkimball

@galileo-of-the-legion

@atombombskilledtheradiostar

@thinktankbigmt

@sonofmarzzzz

@bajarangers

[gremlins-hotel]

alfred rocking some different flight jackets (nerd stuff under cut)

The flight jacket, an iconic piece of any aviator's outerwear. Before they ever became symbols of fashion and the 'exalted' place that came with the occupation of pilot, the flight jacket as we know it was first made for function. Aircraft of World War I and the earliest designs were open cockpit machines, and many would remain that way in the Interbellum. All that to say this paramount paraphernalia's original purpose was to keep an aviator warm in the sky.

Keep in mind that the images above may not reflect every specimen of their type. Jackets differed in design by manufacturer, production block, and even by the military branch (Navy jackets also often have a different name) & unit ordering them. A great example is the wide range of looks for the quintessential B-3. My apologies in advance for them being all American designs. I would love to show off some of the British flight jackets, but I would rather do a little more research (and practice drawing Arthur more)!

A-1 (1927-1931) A thin leather jacket designed for lower altitudes and made with a flattering fit high on the waist, the A-1 was the kickstart to the wide variety the Army Air Corps would come to know. The A-1 had differing designs between the Navy and the infant Air Corps, and early A-1s are distinguished by having seven buttons and a knit collar, which later models did not keep. However, later models did retain the knit waistband and cuffs.

A-2 (1931-1943) The direct successor to the A-1, the A-2 quickly replaced its older brother. This is one of the more recognizable jackets from the States after becoming the standard for the Air Corps in the early 1930s. The quality of the jackets would fall due to wartime rationing, with early designs of horsehide and silk becoming goatskin and cotton, however, the general look remained. The A-2 was still primarily for open cockpit designs, lower altitudes, and warmer climes. Identifiable from the A-1 by its snap-down leather collar, zipper, and varying shapes and sizes of a hook-and-eye clasp at the collar to close it.

G-1 (1938-present) This looker would replace the A-2 in form and function during the 1940s, first becoming popular with the Army and Navy before being adopted by USAAF. Originally named the ANJ-3/AN-J-3 the jacket gained its new designation by the time the Air Corps caught on. The G-1 came with a mouton collar and a bi-swing back to allow for greater arm movement, meanwhile, it lacked the over-zipper 'wind flap' of its predecessors. A keen eye for pop culture might realize that this is the jacket from the 1986 hit Top Gun.

B-3 (1934-1943) Ah, the B-3! Commonly known simply as the "bomber jacket," the B-3 was made with a high-altitude bomber in mind, unlike previous designs. Incredibly bulky and lined with sheepskin the B-3 was made to keep crews at 25,000 feet above from freezing in their unpressurized cabins, with many such as the early B-17 Flying Fortresses possessing open waist gunner ports. The wide collar could be closed with two leather straps and the jacket did not come with the famous knit waistband or cuffs that others did. "The General" was a B-3 design made specifically for General George S. Patton, who popularized the B-3 outside of the Air Corps. (The B-3 had a slimmer cousin - the B-6 - designed as the 'quality of life' inside bombers improved, such as pressurized cabins.)

B-7 (1941-1942) Short-lived, the B-7 Parka was manufactured for pilots operating in the brutal cold of Alaska. However, not much is known of it due to its limited production. In fact, the B-7 was discontinued swiftly due to its high manufacturing cost. Either way, the B-7 is a funky one-off that is easily distinguishable from the lineup by its three-quarter length and coyote-lined hood.

B-15 (1944-1954) The infamous green flight jacket that many today typically know as the "bomber jacket". The B-15 quickly replaced its older brother, the B-10 (1943-1944). Like other designs it had many variations. Similar to the G-1, the B-15 shared the same pocket design and lack of a wind flap, yet the B-15 was cloth with a mouton collar and a knit waistband and cuffs. The shell was produced in a range of materials including nylon and cotton-rayon. It was lighter weight and far less warm than its sheepskin predecessors and spoke to the advancements in aviation technology. A quirk of its design that soon became standard was the designated pen pocket on the upper left arm.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[review-anon]

Despair Time Chapter 2 Review Part 1: The Good

Hey guys Review Anon here and what’s this? I’m reviewing something other than ASOOT arcs? Yes, yes, I am. Shocker I know but I am not treading too far as I’m still covering Danganronpa as I’m reviewing Chapter 2 of Despair Time now it’s finished. I have my thoughts on it and now I’ve taken some time to take it all in I can talk about what went well, what didn’t go well and what lessons we can take away from the whole thing. I was gonna wait until Bubbles does their review/rant but natural disasters are bitches and power hasn’t been restored yet. So, I’m doing this now to get out of the way.

And for any people coming here from non ASOOT related tags then I will apologise in advance because you are gonna be in for a LOOONNNGGGG read. If you are the type to go tl;dr then turn away now.

I presume the rest of you want to read it? Well, let’s get right to it. I’ve split this into three parts because I don’t want to do Google Docs for this, and it would be an easier read for those who came from the non ASOOT space as you guys aren’t used to my lengthy reviews. Consider this your crash course on how I review, in extreme detail and excessive word count. This right here is about 8.5k which is a bite size by my standards which should tell you everything.

Please bear in mind you will have to wait a bit for the next parts as I want to get my current project done before this. Its just I didn't anticipate this taking so long.

Anyway, let’s get right into it, shall we?

Chains of Friendship

Chapter 1s for any Fanronpa tend to be very shocking as it’s the creator’s way to try and surprise the audience and subvert any expectations they have. Some do this well, others do not. But Despair Time was one of those who did it well by how it handled the main protagonist Teruko Tawaki.

At first glance she seemed to be an atypical Danganronpa protagonist. Ultimate Lucky Student? Check. Has an ahoge? Check. Believes in friendship, trust, hope and all those bollocks? Check. Gets backstabbed by someone they believed to be a friend in the first chapter? Check quite literally. Forgives said friend and continues to be a ray of sunshine? Ch- oh wait hang on a minute she didn’t do that at all.

Yeeaahhh while Xander’s sudden attempted murder on Teruko was a massive shock, what was even more so that Teruko decided to say fuck friendship and trust and not trust anyone ever again. On one hand you can understand Teruko’s rage. She was very close to Xander and he used that trust to try and kill her. Min was also someone who supported Teruko and she was willing to throw Teruko under the bus to save her own skin. None of the others stood up for her as they all decided that Teruko killed Xander, and it was only thanks to the power of protagonist energy and using basic logic that saved them. As such Teruko was well within her right to call everyone out for being selfish bastards. Especially since as we get to know more of Teruko this chapter, we learn that what happened in Chapter 1, while extreme, is a snapshot of her entire life due to how ruinous her luck has been.

I don’t think I’ve said this before, but I will say it now, luck SUCKS in the Danganronpa universe. Look at all the Lucky Students we had, Makoto is the only one who has a decent life and he loses the most. Nagito is so ravaged by luck he’s become suicidal and depressed. Yuki goes through literal hell due to his luck and the less said about Utsuro, the better. And while it’s still very much a WIP, one of my OCs is a Lucky Student and her life is equally ruined by her luck. But don’t worry I’ve not copy pasted it from anyone else as the direction I’ve taken my OC is in a way nobody has done before. And what Teruko has here is a fine example of that. She is an orphan who was abandoned by everyone in her life, she has numerous wounds on her body, she barely has any education as she has to sneak into large schools as a student and then once the gig is up, run away and her finances are in ruins due to the hospital bills. Its little surprise why she likes the Killing Game, as she gets guaranteed food and shelter here, which is more then what can be said outside. But even that has a silver lining as we know whoever the mastermind is, they have it out for her.

However, while this is a massive departure from what the typical protagonist would go through, it’s a known fact that in a Killing Game, you NEED to work with others. Class Trials are decided by majority vote and so if you become a pariah, you are very likely to be ignored and might risk dooming yourself or others if what you are saying is true. Teruko doesn’t have to like her classmates, but she needs to learn to coexist with them. Especially since Teruko switching from “I hate and distrust everyone” to “We are all friends” is a major mood whiplash I doubt anyone would do. So naturally one of the main themes of this chapter is learning to rebuild trust after its broken and the consequences of not trusting anyone.

Two major voices object to Teruko’s self-imposed isolation and distrust of everyone. The first is Eden Tobisa. She’s always been a cheerful and optimistic person within the Killing Game and has taken Xander’s and Min’s deaths harshly. In a way Eden behaves more like what a typical Danganronpa protagonist does, wanting to be friends with everyone and being kind. When she tries to get Teruko to bake with her, Teruko reminds her the last time they baked was with Hu, Rose and Min and that was later used for Min’s murder of Xander. She calls her naïve for being optimistic and says she won’t be friends with her, because she knows that at some point, Eden will crack from the harsh reality of the Killing Game and the luckster doesn’t want a stake in it. Kindness will always be rewarded with cruelty.

But when she says this Eden surprises her as contrary to what Teruko thinks, Eden isn’t oblivious to the cruelness of the Killing Game and reality as a whole. Yet the small clockmaker chooses to be kind because it’s the right thing to do, and if you give someone kindness while people can backstab you, you can be rewarded. When it comes to trust and distrust you need a healthy balance.

When I reviewed Black and White Christmas, I didn’t like how Sunako was forcing the Quantum Crew to trust the 76 Squad for a couple of reasons. I tried explaining it at the time, but I felt I telegraphed it quite poorly and I’m sure that’s irritated Mod Poi. The first one is on me, as I didn’t really know the 76 Squad then and as such couldn’t really tell at face value if they were to be trusted or not. Since they are from NWPM and I struggled to read it, my lack of knowledge led to that judgement, but the other thing is that I compared the whole thing to Raja and the Last Dragon and how it mishandled the theme of trust. Expect I didn’t explain it very well or misunderstood the hate. The main reason Raja got betrayed the first time was because she trusted Namaari too much, which you should never do to people you literally just meet. Give them the benefit of doubt yes, but never open yourself up to someone you don’t know that well. Teruko made that mistake with Xander and that’s why she got a knife in her gut.

While it’s a heartfelt speech, it had a notable impact on Teruko as she didn’t know how to respond. When you expect nothing but betrayal and backstabbing, having someone be kind for the sake of it can shock you. It’s the same shock Kyoko experienced in Trigger Happy Havoc when she didn’t expect Makoto to keep his mouth shut about evidence that he knows is false, and he explained it’s because he trusts her, she didn’t know how to respond. While Eden isn’t the main protagonist, the same principle applies.

Eden isn’t the only person who objects to Teruko’s views that you should never have faith in others as the other is Charles Cuevas. Starting off Charles was your atypical smug intellectual who believes he’s superior to others, akin like Byakuya and Rei. But much like them, he softens up and learns to work with others though in Charles’s case it’s a bit more extreme. In Chapter 1 he was revealed to suffer from Hemophobia, so much so that if he sees blood, he literally goes into shock and can’t remember anything. Xander uses this to his advantage to try and frame Charles for his would be killing of Teruko, but when it seems like everyone is turning on Charles, Whit is the one who stands up for him, gives evidence why he couldn’t do it and so Charles is cleared. This has caused the formally smug chemist to go through a bit of character development as while in Chapter 2 he still thinks his intelligence is beyond that of most of the cast, he isn’t pushing them down as much and has soften up to certain characters, most particularly Whit and Teruko. The former because he stood up for him and is an honest friend and the latter due to demonstrating that unlike most of the cast, Teruko actually uses her brain. It’s a slow burn but assuming Charles survives all to the end, he will become a much better person.

So, when Teruko talks about her disbelief that he is trusting people after what happened in the Class Trail, he brings up some valid points on why Teruko is actually being quite illogical as cooperation with others is key to surviving this game and humans are social pack animals by design, we work better as a team.

Chapter 1 Charles is pretty much Chapter 2 Teruko but after learning he cannot look at a corpse and thus is incapable of surviving on his own, Charles has started to learn how to rely on others. In some ways he doesn’t like how everyone pities him now so Teruko is a relief as her interactions with him haven’t changed. But while Eden says why Teruko is wrong from an emotional and moral perspective, Charles approaches it from a logical and factual point of view. As many analysts have already pointed out, it’s impossible to do a solo act in a Killing Game, if you want to live, you need to learn how to work with others. Either to prevent yourself from becoming a target, or so others can help you when you are down, much like how Whit helped Charles in his lowest point. As such using his own experiences, he knows the direction Teruko is coming from and implores her to reconsider as eventually events will occur which will force her back to trusting others again.

I like this as we have two different characters, both who get tons of development this Chapter, attacking Teruko’s morals from different angles. But while they are definitely making dents, Teruko is able to justify in her worldview that she’s been beaten too many times to be like Eden, especially as Eden seems to have had a good life where her worst secret is that she’s a closet lesbian. Which okay its definitely something Eden might have been harassed over if bigotry is still a thing in this world, but with so many of the cast being LGBTQ, it’s not the worst secret in the world. And for Charles, he has a deliberating condition which prevents him from surviving on his own. Everyone knows about Teruko’s luck and she’s survived this well without needing help on it so she doesn’t need to rely on others.

Expect of course, she’s wrong, because during an interaction with Veronika, she brings up the suggestion that Teruko might have prosopagnosia.

While it’s not confirmed in this Chapter, I do believe Bubbles has a point that Teruko might have face blindness but I don’t think its prosopagnosia. Recall that Teruko has had a very harsh upbringing where she couldn’t get close to people or have a solid support network. It’s known that having a disruptive childhood can lead to arrested development in various areas. I recall a case where a woman had blurry vision for a long time as a child and wasn’t diagnosed as shortsighted until much later in her life and because this happened after the point in a child’s development where the sense of self develops, it means this woman had a lot of self-identity problems and has a hard time recognising herself or others. But she doesn’t have prosopagnosia as that’s a neurological condition you are born with. Rather I feel the face blindness is due to people fazing in and out of Teruko’s life so much that she doesn’t bother forming connections and that is what’s fucked her up.

Regardless of the technicities, it IS a problem in a Killing Game because it would be very easy for someone to trick Teruko by merely dressing up as someone else. That wouldn’t be a problem if Teruko has a support network in place, but if she doesn’t, then she’s a goner. So, like Charles, for medical reasons Teruko doesn’t have the means to stand on her own and needs others to help her.

But the one character who shattered Teruko’s worldview and made her realise what she’s doing is wrong is the victim of this chapter; Arei Nageishi.

When Arei was introduced back in the Prologue at first it seemed like she was gonna be an insufferable Hiyoko-like character. She’s vicious, mean and enjoys tormenting others. But Chapter 1 reveals some layers to her as when Eden invited Teruko, Rose, Min and Hu to bake, Arei got really upset because she wasn’t invited, implying she wants to be involved with the group but doesn’t know how to approach it in any way other than being mean. Then during her FTE with J, she reveals that she has a ranking system in place for how badly she bullies other, while some like J get mild teasing, others she will try to ruin their lives completely. And for kind people she will make sure they cry because she cannot stand anyone being kind, implying that Arei seems to have a real problem with people being kind.

As such when Eden goes to apologise to Arei for excluding her, at first Arei behaves like how Teruko would think she would, she belittles Eden, calls her dumb and says she’s gonna die if she keeps this up, which causes Eden to burst into tears and run away. But alone with David and Teruko, Arei confesses that she didn’t like doing that. She said that stuff to Eden to protect her, because she believes the world is like what Teruko says it is, that kindness cannot be rewarded with anything other than cruelty. And if Eden keeps this up, she’s gonna die. The reason for this is as you would expect due to trauma as Arei’s older sisters would torment her constantly and make her life hell, until Arei just had it and frame her sisters for a bunch of crimes which resulted in them getting send to reform school. This here is a snapshot of one of the main themes this chapter has so we will come back to it later. So, is Arei just reinforcing Teruko’s worldview? Nope. Because then Arei reveals that despite all of that, she WANTS kind people to exist, she HAS to be doubtful of Eden because she’s so kind and optimistic, the exact person Arei wants to have in her life, but her past experiences have gotten in the way. And as she breaks down sobbing due to that, something stirs within Teruko.

Without realising it, Arei has shot a massive wound in Teruko’s armour. She’s someone who is basically like Teruko, who is rude and cruel to others because every time she’s tried to be kind, it was slapped down and punished. She also believes the world is a dark and evil place, but she also wants to believe kind people exist, despite what her experiences have taught her. This is what Teruko is going through. The fact she does cactus puppet plays of Xander and Min, shows that despite what Teruko claims, she is not a sociopath and can care for others, and she wants to be friends with everyone but having been hurt so badly, she cannot get close again. Teruko, without realising it, sees a lot of herself within Arei. She denies it at the time but those words have an impact on her.

David’s speech to her, even though its hollow and not even Arei believed it because she saw his secret and knew he was a piece of shit, still didn’t mind it. The reason being is that even if someone like David, who is seen as a beacon of hope and sunshine, is a rotten bastard deep down, then its proof she isn’t too far gone. While obviously we don’t have David reveal this to the others, we see the conversation happen, and it clearly had an effect on David, due to him remembering it so vividly. Arei’s drive to become a better person wound up saving Eden’s life twice as she interrupted Arturo’s attack on Eden when she tried to reveal his secret to him, and by doing her stunt Ace, the culprit for this case, decided to switch targets and go for Arei instead of Eden. Which I’m glad that Eden didn’t die because if she did, that would convince many that Despair Time was gonna be a cynical work like the Another Series and The Mistake. And why of course Arei still died this chapter, her death was NOT caused by her reaching out to others because Ace was gonna kill regardless of what was happening. And Teruko’s rage at Ace for killing Arei was less about him having a shitty motive but because had Arei lived, she and Teruko would have become good friends, since she would have understood Teruko’s pain and her desire to want to trust others regardless of her past.

Teruko also suffered the consequences of shutting others out as by being isolationist, Teruko has missed the context for a lot of what shenanigans have unfolded among others, and due to believing her viewpoint to be the only correct one, she makes mistakes. During the Class Trial, Teruko misreads the time and assumed the murder occurred at 8pm and NOT 8am which is Arei’s true time of death. Had Charles not pointed this out, David would be ruled as the culprit and everyone would have been executed. Another major mistake Teruko made was in how to end the Killing Game. When Veronika said that Eden had an idea to end the Killing Game by being as boring as possible, Teruko said that wouldn’t work as that’s why motives exist, whereas she has an idea but she needs to wait until the next murder occurs. We are left hanging, and for Arei’s case quite literally on what she meant by that, that is until Ace was exposed as the culprit and Teruko asks Ace to do something outrageous; Kill MonoTV.

Teruko’s logic for this at first glance seems sound. The reason the Killing Game occurs is due to the fact they have to follow MonoTV’s rules, and breaking them results in death. However, with Ace due to die via execution, he has nothing to lose. If he destroys MonoTV he has a chance to save his own life, of course if he fails, so what, Ace is gonna die anything so it achieves nothing. In short, there is no downsides and only upsides.

Expect of course if you have been paying attention, this is not the case. Firstly, normally with the mascots they tend to have copies, one gets destroyed, another takes its place. Thus, the game will carry on, but then there’s another one and one that tripped a lot of people up. When MonoTV was asked who would be the blackened, he said whoever was the most “mastermind-y” Now a lot of people interpreted this as being whoever is behind the murder and not necessarily the murderer. This is why Bubbles proposed that while Hu would be the one to kill Arei/J, David would be the blackened as he was the one who manipulated Hu into doing so. But this logic doesn’t just apply to murders, when Ace obliges and tries to smash MonoTV, it doesn’t work due to the robot being more durable then initially thought, the AI said that while Ace did break a rule, he was gonna be executed anyway so it would achieve nothing. As such the one being punished would be the one who told Ace to break said rule; Teruko herself.

As the countdown for Teruko to get gatling gunned occurs, I wasn’t worried like Teruko, as I KNEW someone was gonna jump in front of her and take the shots. The question was; who? I was thinking either Eden or Charles would do so as both have strong connections to Teruko, and for both it would be a massive contribution to their characters. In Eden’s case its shows she’s not scared to fight what she believes in, and returning the favour. Teruko stood up for her when the culprits narrowed down to Ace and herself, and Teruko decided to focus on Ace, so the petite clockmaker would return the favour. For Charles, it would be him facing his fears as he is terrified of the sight of blood and gore, so him jumping in front of the way of a gatling gun, assuming he survives, would show how much he is starting to care for the others. Anyone else aside those two…I didn’t think so. Ace would have never done so as I’m sure he is the one who voted for Teruko. Nico clearly wanted to get away with their crimes and the others either aren’t close to Teruko or jumping in front of the gun would be out of character for them. So, when the timer hit zero, I expected a CGI of either Eden or Charles with a lot of bullets in them…

But instead, my expectations were blown wide open by the fact that Levi of all people jumped in front of Teruko and shielded her from the bullets. This reminded me very much of when Akane was almost blown up by a bazooka by Monokuma but Nekomaru blocked his way and got shot. Considering what we learnt about Levi in this Chapter, this really took me off guard AND bumped him up several tiers in my character rankings.

But this had a total shock on Teruko, as she believed if she didn’t care for anyone else, nobody would likewise care for her, so the fact that someone cared enough to shield her from pain, and that they are on death’s door because of her, send shockwaves through Teruko’s body as when after Ace’s execution as everyone rushed to the infirmary to treat Levi, Teruko stayed behind to do something she said she would never do; mourn.

The amount of people who contributed to Teruko’s character development doesn’t end there as while those four are examples of positive interactions for Teruko, we have had two cases of negative interactions who serve a different purpose, the first is David Chiem.

When introduced David…seemed off. He seemed like an affable and friendly person who believes everyone has the motivation and desire to change, and Xander in particular seems to be a massive fanboy of him. But like most celebrities and people in public that is just a façade is in the Prologue when Xander went off to get something for his idol to sign, we see David chuckling to himself on how much of an idiot Xander is, without realising that Teruko was there to see it all, and his shock when she reveals she heard that, says it all. Chapter 2 brought up the suss meter even further when David ‘confessed’ his secret and implored everyone to discuss their own secrets, which far from doing good, ended up causing a lot of drama and tension. Anyone with a irk of sense could tell David was fake, I knew he was fake, Bubbles knew he was fake, pretty much most Youtubers reacting knew he was fake.

Another factor working against him is his VA. Quite a few SDRA2 English Dub VAs also worked on Despair Time, and for the most part is interesting to see their contrasts. Bblackroses is known for playing Hibiki Otonokoji, but here she is J who while Hibiki is a bubbly peppy girly-girly, J is a complete tomboy who hates the starlight and fame. Artimmissis Setsuka Chiebukuro, who is a very reliable woman with a prankster side to her, but here she is MonoTV an incompetent mastermind who tells the worst jokes. David Chiem’s VA is Sword of Swords who also worked on SDRA2, and what character did he play there?

Oh, nobody important, just Mikado Sannoji the Mastermind of that game, the leader of the main antagonist group Void and more or less a piece of shit.

At first glance the contrast seems to be that Mikado is an evil bastard whereas David is a moral force of good. But as the pressure mounts for David and the fact his secret is that he’s a manipulator who likes to deceive others, as well as how he mocked Arei’s desire for friends earlier, meant when it reached the boiling point the mask came off and David revealed his true self.

It’s here the true contrasts between him and Mikado become clear. Both are men who hide their true selves behind a mask, literally for Mikado and figuratively for David and both pretended to be forces of good before their masks slip and their true vile nature is revealed. David is obvious as he tried to be a good moral speaker whereas Mikado you might have missed it tried to be a hero and claim Void was a force of good before Rei and Teruya ruined it. In addition, their true selves are so VERY different. Mikado always remained polite and affable even when he is being extremely bastardry whereas David is rude, condensing and swears all the damn time. I also cannot help that David’s true self looking a lot like Utsuro, who is the main object of Mikado’s desires cannot NOT be a coincidence.

But what does David show for Teruko? Well, he seems to at a glance reinforce Teruko’s beliefs that nobody can be trusted as Teruko smugly pointed out she saw the warning signs of him being evil way before anyone else did. And whenever he talks to her, he seems to want to keep this act of Teruko hating everyone up, saying it’s her nature to distrust others and the only thing she trusts is the truth. And then here is his final confession he wants Teruko to trust what he’s saying. David is in a way a warning of the kind of person Teruko would become if she keeps on her current path. I also think that David had Teruko’s secret and knows it’s her fault the Killing Game is going on. The fact he keeps seemly praising Xander and calling him a good person is obviously an attempt to get under Teruko’s skin due to how she feels about him. I for one second don’t believe he cares about Xander.

Mr. Politician isn’t the only person who serves as a warning as the culprit of this chapter, Ace Markey does as well. Ace always seemed to be a coward as he is easily scared of his own shadow and while he talks tough, he doesn’t have the actions to back it up. However, in Chapter 2 Ace gets sick and tired of being a wimp and thus decides to become a bully, which is still being a coward as pretty much most bullies bully because they are cowards who want someone weaker than themselves to lord over to make themselves feel better. Yet what drives Ace’s actions is his Thanatophobia, fear of death which is a very bad thing to have in a Killing Game. Due to this fear, Ace decides to commit murder as he feels if he doesn’t kill someone, someone will do the same to him and the fact Nico almost does, reinforces this belief. Teruko is someone while not paranoid, is very distrustful of everyone and if she feels that anyone and everyone is out to get her, she could fall down the same slippery slope that Ace does.

Despite this, Ace still manages to surprise her as when Levi takes the bullets for her, everyone needs to get to the infirmary to treat Levi otherwise he dies, but the lift won’t work since Ace still needs to be executed. Ace has already made it very clear he hates and despises Levi, especially after the latter confesses that he doesn’t care about the former, which seemed to really hurt him, but seeing someone he hates that much do something so selfless, means he decides to do the one decent thing in his life, while also being his last, getting MonoTV to execute him so the lift doors open and Levi could be saved.

That I think was the final straw which broke Teruko. She has had mounting pressure throughout the entire Chapter but then someone who was a coward, sacrificing himself so that someone else could live, is the final crushing proof as well as the knowledge that while she avoided making the same mistakes as before, she just wound up making new ones, that caused her to cry alone in the Trial Room.

We also get interesting character interactions with Teruko and MonoTV throughout the chapter. Since Teruko isolated herself so much from the others, MonoTV hires her to do maintenance around the Killing Game since he’s too incompetent to do it himself. As Monokumas were originally butler robots this would have never happened in the main series. We learn a far bit about MonoTV, that he is a simple robot designed for the Killing Game and he doesn’t have full knowledge on who’s running the thing as he was only programmed to do what his tasks enabled. And as Teruko pointed out, he is sadistic as Min was executed before she could say everything she wanted to and Ace’s execution was dragged out for as long as possible, in both cases it’s to make the victims feel the most despair. The other interesting thing is that Teruko can use Monocoins to get him to remove other characters who are bothering her which is the complete contrast to FTEs. What should we call them instead? Exclusion Zone Effects or EZE? Nah that doesn’t roll off the tongue.

In conclusion, I really liked how Teruko was handled in this Chapter due to how much of a cliffhanger the previous chapter left with her. This chapter did so much to knock her down for her high and mighty view and while she won’t be buddy-buddy come Chapter 3, I do believe that she will be more approachable to the cast. Teruko’s journey throughout this fanganronpa will be interesting to see and I see her opening up more about her past as she gets more comfortable with the cast.

Trust in Nature

Every Danganronpa game has two themes, no matter how you slice it. The first theme is the most obvious one and this is a theme that the protagonist and the mastermind have in common. For Trigger Happy Havoc its Hope vs. Despair, Goodbye Despair is Future vs. Past and Killing Harmony is Truth vs. Lies.

Some have said that it’s too early to call what the themes for Despair Time are, but I disagree as Chapter 2 imo is the ideal time to introduce your themes, and I think I’ve worked them out. The primary theme is one that doesn’t take much to deduce and others have caught onto it and that is Optimism vs. Cynicism. Teruko is a very cynical individual and doesn’t think she can trust others but more optimistic people disagree, saying being jaded makes you more open to being deceived. Eden and Charles, who are 100% the partners in this fanganronpa serving similar roles to Kaito and Maki in Killing Harmony where one represents the emotional connection and the other the logical one. Eden is always a bundle of sunshine and wanting everyone to be happy, but unlike someone like say Makoto, she isn’t oblivious to the fact the world is cruel but chooses to be kind regardless because its decent and it’s the most moral thing to do. Charles is more logical based and originally was quite cynical but having been shown kindness by Whit, he has opened up a bit more to some other people and while he definitely is a work in progress, he is more optimistic about surviving and escaping the Killing Game.

And this brings me to the Rival of the Fanganronpa; David. Bubbles didn’t like David surviving past Chapter 2, ignoring their own hatred for David aside because they didn’t think David contributed anything meaningful to the overall narrative of Despair Time. I disagree harshly as if I am right with the main themes of Despair Time, David is 100% a perfect Rival character as he represents those themes so well. The cynicism side is obvious as David believes that everyone is gonna die in the Killing Game and there is no point to continuing so might as well get it over and done with. This is why when David’s true nature was exposed, he tried to claim to be the killer, which is another typical rival tactic, so everyone votes for him and they all die. This very logic is why Teruko said she is not the culprit because as soon as David went on his tirade, it would have been an instant win condition for her. And as the game progresses more and more people are gonna want to live to prove David wrong and his mental sanity is probably gonna decline as a result until his Rival protection cause expires in Chapter 5 where he probably dies in a way to try and spite the cast. Going back to the Mastermind, I believe they think the Despair Time cast are all horrible people that deserve to die, whenever that be because they are Neo Remnants of Despair or something to do with Teruko, and as such use the Killing Game to kill them all. By the end of the fanganronpa, Teruko would have become more like a typical Danganronpa protagonist and be able to defy the mastermind wanting to kill her by showing the world is not a bleak place and people can change and improve.

That brings me nicely to the secondary themes. The primary themes are shared between the protagonist and the mastermind, whereas the secondary themes are shared between the group and the rival character. This take a bit more thinking to figure out but I think I’ve cracked what Despair Time’s secondary theme is. Trigger Happy Havoc’s is working together as a team as the class are trying to work together to survive the Killing Game while Byakuya is trying to play the Killing Game in order to “win” and isolates himself from the others. Goodbye Despair’s secondary theme is a deconstruction of the idea of talent as despite being Ultimates, Class 77-B doesn’t really care about their talents and support each other for their own individual characteristics and despite Hajime being revealed to be a Reserve Course Student, are extremely accepting of him. Nagito by contrast believes Hope’s Peak talented and talentless system is gospel, praises his fellow Ultimates for their talents which they do not want to be reminded by and is extremely cruel to Hajime when he finds out he is a talentless person who thinks he can mingle with his idea of the elite. Killing Harmony’s secondary theme is wanting to remain stagnant and compliant as the V3 Cast are very content to stick to the status quo and carry on with their lives, whereas Kokichi would rather shake things up and challenge said status quo. All of these secondary themes are very important to the story. And with that I believe Despair Time’s secondary theme is if humanity is inherently good or evil.

That seems very similar to Optimism vs. Cynicism but it isn’t. This theme tackles if humans are capable of changing their nature or if they are always either good or evil. From this it’s very easy to see where David lies, he believes humanity cannot change their nature, people are either saints or scum. If someone can “change themselves” it’s because they were never that bad to begin with, whereas truly evil people cannot change. And Teruko also seems to agree on this concept because whenever Eden says she is a good person, Teruko tells her to stop as by saying that, she makes her feel worse for the fact she can change but she hasn’t made the effort to do so. Teruko always believed she was scum and would die like scum if she cared about nobody around her.

Naturally this chapter has a few characters who challenge this rule big time. Let’s start with Levi, the guy has always seemed chill but we get to see more of a scary side to him when he threatens to kill Ace if he doesn’t stop being an arsehole. We also have an interesting opening discussion with him and Eden where Levi confesses that he doesn’t see himself as a good person, contrary to what Eden thinks. This all gets revealed in the Class Trial when Levi admits that he doesn’t possess empathy and therefore cannot care about anyone around him, the fact he’s killed 4 people, one of whom being his own father and yet he treats it with the same disinterest as one would swat a fly, is very telling.

Fans were quick to diagnose Levi with Antisocial Personality Disorder, and this is where DT Dev actually impressed me big time. This disorder is one of the most maligned within society, even more so in my opinion then those on the autistic spectrum. The reason being is simple, almost every single time a fictional character is revealed to have this disorder they are almost always a psychopathic villain who kills everyone around them and gives zero shits. To say how damaging this stereotype is unbelievable and Levi is frankly the most realistic portrayal of someone with this disorder. Yes, Levi doesn’t have empathy, or a very low level of it, but he still tries to be a good person not because of morals and emotions, but more so out of a sense of duty, especially as before Levi revealed it nobody suspected a thing due to Levi not behaving like the usual stereotypes. He isn’t very good at it because he's trying to figure out how to be a good person which isn’t easy when it’s not instinct. When Ace asked if he cared about him at all and Levi responded with flat no, while Ace screamed at Levi in his usual manner, it’s clear the jockey was hurt by this reveal as a small part of him wanted to consider Levi a friend.

So, for Levi to then shield Teruko with his body from the gatling gun, not only comes as a massive shock but I believe this is Levi’s attempts of trying to prove he is a good person. Chances are, he wasn’t happy with how he handled the situation with Ace and wanted to prove something to him, so that’s why he protected Teruko, not only because thinking about it, Levi was probably one of the few characters who could survive that, but to try and redeem himself from how he mishandled the situation with Ace. And the effects of this are very clear as Ace, who was trying to prolong his death as much as possible, upon realising the only way to save Levi is for him to die, demands MonoTV to execute him. If someone without a clear concept of empathy can be a good person, then isn’t that proof humans can change?

Arei is another character who also wants to believe she can change. After she decides to become a good person, the bowler saves Eden from being threatened by Arturo and then later that night confronts David about the fact she knows he’s full of shit. We heard some of this originally from Ace who overheard the conversation, but when David is thinking about what to say to Eden, we hear the other half where Arei says she’s glad David is horrible because it means there is no such thing as a pure good person. That even someone like Eden might have done something nasty and if he’s so deprived then there’s hope left for her. She even offers a hand of friendship to David because she thinks they are one and the same, and they can improve their behaviour together. The fact David remembers this means the conversation had a meaningful impact on him, even though he doesn’t show it. What Arei is showing is clear existentialism or optimistic nihilism. Nihilism which I’m sure 75% of people reading this believe in, is where you believe nothing in the world matters because it’s all meaningless. Optimistic nihilism by contrast is saying that yes nothing matters, but that’s okay because you have the power to decide what is most important. Arei clearly believes there is no such thing as a pure good person, but what she can be is a slightly less shitty person then she was before.

And finally, there’s Ace. Ace’s motive for killing Arei is the fact he is scared of death, and that if he didn’t kill someone, then he would be killed. His reason for targeting Arei was simply coincidence, his original target was Eden but upon learning of Arei’s desire to change, decided to exploit that to target her. Ace also demonstrates a level of intelligence we haven’t seen from him before given that he was able to memorise how Nico tried to kill him, replicate that method, overpower Arei with a method unique to him and since everyone thinks Ace is dumb, he was able to pull the wool over their eyes and he could have damn well gotten away with it, especially with David’s stunt making so many convinced he was the one who killed Arei. Goes to show that people are not as stupid as you think. He gets chewed out big time by Teruko who calls him a coward, his motive is dumb and that Arei didn’t deserve to die because of that. However, even when facing death there is still a chance for character development and that comes when Levi eats a rain of bullets. Not only does this change Ace’s opinion on Levi considering he hated his guts before, but he gives Arturo a well-deserved callout who claims he doesn’t know how to treat Levi’s wounds because of his mix-maxed medical skills, but Ace calls him a coward saying as a surgeon he should know the basics and apply that skill to save Levi’s life or at least keep him alive as he gets executed. And yes, despite being as scared as possible for his death, he accepts it as it’s the only way to save Levi as the lift doors won’t open until he is executed.

Onto Ace’s execution I was pleasantly surprised as I have seen somewhere on YouTube an Ultimate Jockey Execution where the horses are used to tear the victim up, and I would have complained MASSIVELY if Ace went down a similar route. But no, the execution is more tailored to Ace’s fear of death by him escaping horror scenario after horror scenario, no wonder Veronika was orgasming over it, until when facing an execution squad, they shoot confetti and Ace suffers a heart attack and dies from fear. This is actually a real way people can die as during the 1970s, there was a string of cases where Hmong refugees would die from heart attacks in their sleep despite being healthy and middle-aged. Doctors at the time concluded that they were suffering nightmares so bad it would cause heart attacks and kill them in their sleep, and if this sounds familiar to you, it should as it was one of the inspirations behind A Nightmare on Elm Street. There’s a reason you shouldn’t scare someone with heart problems and while Ace might not have any heart issues, he has been suffering a lot of stress which could have made his heart rate dodgy and then the execution delivered.

These themes are extremely heavy hitting and I’m glad Despair Time is covering them. I could be wrong about them but that’s my theory on what they are.

Murderer Among Us

And finally, my last big positive about Despair Time’s Chapter 2 is the fact we not only get an attempted murder, with the plot twist the would-be victim would later become the culprit but the fact that this attempt didn’t succeed means the would-be murderer walks among the cast still and they have to deal with the consequences.

I have wanted this since Killing Harmony when Monokuma offered the tantalising prospect that if there are two blackeneds, only the first murder counts. So, when Korekiyo confesses to killing Tenko, the cast cannot vote for him because if he didn’t kill Angie, they would have got it wrong. I REALLY wanted it to be that Tenko was Angie’s killer, my logic being that Angie invited Tenko to her Talent Lab for a chat which got into a heated debate about how Angie was brainwashing Himiko and Tenko, who is quite hot-headed and doesn’t always think straight, accidently killed Angie in the heat of the moment. She would then either cover up her crime or someone else like the Mastermind would make the locked room mystery which the cast discovered and when Kiyo announces he is gonna do a séance, Tenko grows worried as if the séance is a success, Angie would reveal the culprit so Tenko offered to become the vessel which led to her death. You could also argue that maybe she sensed Korekiyo was up to something and did it to protect Himiko. Either way that would make for an interesting Chapter 4 because tensions between Korekiyo and Himiko would be high, but of course Kodaka doesn’t do anything with that and as a result we end up with 4 deaths, and 2 ruined chapters.

No other fanganronpa tried anything like this as they were all not willing to commit so I thank Despair Time wholeheartedly for actually having the balls to do so. As Nico, being pushed to their limit by Ace’s tormenting of them, which is very similar to how they are ostracised for being non-binary, meant they tried to commit murder by hanging Ace on the fans, but they not only miscalculated the strength of the fans but Ace woke up from being knocked unconscious and struggled awake. Before Nico could try again, Teruko and Eden showed up, foiling any would be attempt. Not only did Nico try to commit murder, but they betrayed the trust of both Hu who was trying to protect them but also Rose as Nico stole Hu’s wire and Rose’s turpentine to use for their murder scheme. What’s interesting is they didn’t apologise because they not only were not sorry for trying to kill Ace but know an apology won’t cut it. J gave Nico a very harsh verdict that even though their attempt was foiled, the point is they still tried to commit murder and was willing to give up the lives of everyone here for their own, and betrayed the trust of those who reached out to them. Hu hasn’t had a very good time this chapter because two of her closest friends; David and Nico, turned out to be using her for their own schemes, and we see the consequences of her mother hen nature. I feel a major theme for Chapter 3 is gonna be forgiveness as both Nico and David have burnt a lot of bridges this chapter and the fact they still live, means they need to somehow get back into the good graces of the group. How they do this I don’t know; David probably would be fine being a pariah but I’m not sure if Nico is wanting to make amends. They might, but they might also think they went too far. I do hope that Nico tries, especially after they have seen that even people like Levi and Ace were willing to act selflessly. And who knows, maybe David might try but I think it would be a ruse, which will still work because this cast isn’t the brightest.

Does this mean Nico would be a survivor? I don’t know as I do believe between David and Nico, one will be a survivor and the other will die, probably as a victim but who I cannot tell as Chapter 3 would probably expand upon these two a bit more. Regardless I’m glad this is being touched upon and I for one am looking forward to see where it takes Nico.

And that’s all the positives I have to say about Chapter 2. Teruko had a good character arc, I like how we know the main themes, we know who presumably the partners and rival characters are, we have an attempted murderer walking among the cast, quite a few characters like Levi, Arei and Ace got moments to shine and the execution was well done. But it cannot be all sunshine and rainbows. As much as there is good, there is also bad so when we come back next time, I’m gonna talk about what didn’t go well for Chapter 2 and what DT Dev could do to improve things.

Until then, see ya! -Review Anon

[elaho]

An INFP 2w1 ----------------------------------------

The Fe Sun Kingdom's territory encompasses wide open spaces where the sun's rays can easily reach, such as fields, meadows, valleys, plains, and plateaus -- but not any area where natural shade occurs, such as the Fi Forest.

Due to biological differences, xxFPs can't be exposed to direct sunlight for long periods, making it nearly impossible to live outside the shelter of the Fi Forest, much less venture outside of it.

The Forest is vast and contains many different environments and ecosystems depending on the 'depth'. One aspect of the Forest is the perimeter which contains shorter trees with smaller leaves and a thinner treetop canopy. This allows for slightly larger pockets of sunlight through the canopy, but it is still dark enough to provide a safe atmosphere for xxFPs to stay long-term.

Though considered a dangerous and volatile environment, many xxFP 1s, 2s and 9s still choose to live there. It's unclear why, but some speculate that while some INFPs prefer the relative safety of the forest's dark heart, others long to overcome their fear of the sun and connect with those who live in the light-- getting as close to it as they can without getting burned.

[rainmacaroni]

Feud of the Year

They've consistently told their story for about 10 months now - even while Punk was injured - without ever losing any momentum , getting stale and overstaying their welcome

Match of the Year

In retrospect , while they more than earned and deserved to have been the Main Event , I think it's great that they had went on first - fresh crowd of course , plus they didn't have to worry about repeating any similar spots from previous matches , or going way over their time limit Regardless , no match on that night after theirs ever even came close to being a fraction comparable

At this point , what else is there left now to say against CM Punk ? He's very quickly become a main face of the RAW brand His segments have consistently gotten the highest ratings - as he can still cut some of the best and believable promos out there He's one of if not the best storyteller in all of wrestling - I mean , which other wrestler out there can tell such a compelling and engaging story with a Taylor Swift friendship bracelet of all things ? His merch has consistently been top sellers and Number 1s He's been a great help to Shawn Michaels ; a locker room leader and exemplar for the young and upcoming talent over there at NXT He's famously said that he's not here to make any friends - he's here to make money Ha , and yet , he's unironically made a lot of friends - I would have never expected him to become such good friends with Rhea Ripley & Damien Priest , etc. - even Triple H And of course , he has made a ton of money as well And now , all he had to do was deliver an all-time classic with Drew - which they did and more - so much so that they even revitalized such a dead wrestling concept that for so many years heretofore was Hell in a Cell You couldn't have asked for a more genuinely , perfect ending to their trilogy CM Punk has yet again proven that he can still be truly called The Best in the World And I hope that he'll do it all once again when he finally , actually starts his feud with Seth Drew has set the bar pretty high though - I think Seth can reach it - and maybe even match it - if he of course keeps to being serious and drops his Joker like character - however , he can still be his flamboyant self in ways and moments that it would make sense to As Punk is rightfully taking some time off now - we'll just have to wait and see until then ~ And , ha , hopefully during his hiatus , I don't fully lose my interest in the WWE - since for me , it's at its very best when Punk is in the direct mix of things

[pearls-and-vignettes]

Spaceway 70 - Pablo

The Marlin heaves out of the darkened dock, whining with unwarmed engines. A simple objective:

- Assess damages, neutralize threats.

I've done it a million times before. Come to think of it,—

Red lights blare outside and the station's distress call is picked up by the radio. I fly around the cylindrical body—perform a systematic scan. How would the incident report be written?

- Upper hull damaged in a hit-and-run bombing; station status unknown.

- Soldier casualties: ...

Soldiers. They never chose to lay down their lives—to fight for an uncaring ruler—not them.

- Assailant(s): Unknown vessel, presumed solitary. Heat signature detected, actively pursuing.

Ambiguous language. Open to litigation. Sarge would be sad.

- Disregard previous entry. Chasing assailant via engine heat; infrared reading with 0.87 certainty. Monitoring radar.

- Radar confirms a small ship. Moving at 75% of own velocity. Distance 2000 mi.

-

-

- 1500.

-

-

- Approaching civilian zone

-

-

- 1000.

-

-

- 500.

-

- 250.

-

- 175.

-

- 100.

- 50.

- 25.

- Contact.

They pull up and to the left, attempting to get above and behind me, though it's too little, too late.

- Assailant neutralized with ballistics. Assumed to have hit engine.

- Upon visual examination, there appears to have been no pilot. Control is either automated or remote. No outstanding radio frequency detected.

Darn...

Out and ahead of me are markers indicating a commercial route. Safe for traders.

A transponder on one of the markers pings my ship. Something about remaining in place, a unit arriving soon. I don't make it a good hundred miles before a squad comes in with weapons hot.

I dodge a few shots and they graze me with a laser. I'm not about to make war with a whole task force.

The Marlin is a ship of esoteric construction. It has a hull constructed for incredibly heavy salvos—granted you have enough sealant [1] aboard. It comes with a cloak [2], more a scrambler than anything, which uses up insane amounts of power, and an EM pulse [3] which likewise drains my batteries. It's a perfect ship for an early retirement [4], as long as my encounters are few and far between.

With the push of a fader I turn my radio into a tool of war, creating a streak of white along their IR imager and making their radar unusable. Similarly, with a press of a button the magnetron pulses on, disabling their steering and warming up their cabins.

- Three combatants neutralized; nonlethal means

Two more pull down and in front, shooting and missing. I pull up and turn around, hoping to hit them with more microwaves.

< -#- VACDETEC V1.4 -#- >

< ALARM >

<HULL BREACH | d.0s>

<HULL BREACH | d.1s>

<HULL BREACH | d.2s>

I begin to sweat as the laser weapon dissipates as heat into my cockpit.

< HULL SEALED >

< SEALANT AT 25% >

I need to leave.

I reach up to grab a solar compass [5] and scribble my heading onto the cockpit glass.

- Taking extratactical measures: Magnetron shielding angle set to 175.8 degrees

< ## Are you sure? Use of EMP with current settings may cause systems to misbehave. ## >

[ YES ]

Navigation goes dark as two more ships behind me lose steering. I launch a wide-range RF jammer [6] and a hot net [7]. I cut my engines and seal the exhaust [8].

This is a special dance they taught us in Academy; " . . . each ship has its own precise limits, though with them come potential," they had us memorize old literature, "that is why you must know yours more intimately than the body of your lover . . . " I positioned one hand over the exhaust control and another over the ignition. Two seconds, three seconds, and

< -#- SHELL -#- >

< ALARM >

<ENGINE OVERHEAT>

The ship rattles as I rocket dead ahead in the direction of home. Another alarm blares on my monitor,

<CHECK ENGINE>

A few milliseconds too late. I hear a faint whisper—a hiss—join the chorus of the Marlin's song. I'm sorry. I'll fix it soon. It'll be ok.

" . . . for each time you take up the helm, you partake in a romance far more real than any other, for no other can see the terror

of a deprivation so terrible, or a death so swift."

[1]: A chemical formulation which undergoes an extremely exothermic reaction when exposed to the vacuum of space. Akin to tire sealant from when vulcanized rubber was used for land vehicles.

[2]: A system consisting of telescoping antennae and an ultra-high amplitude RF generator. Hides a ship's exact location within a much broader, irregular radio signature.

[3]: A high-powered magnetron capable of producing strong microwaves with multiple miles of range. Temporarily scrambles navigation systems, causing affected ships to veer off-course.

[4]: I can't keep doing this

[5]: An indicator which points in the direction of the closest star, when properly calibrated. Detects the unique products of nuclear fusion.

[6]: Akin to the cloak, a disposable projectile which blanks out vast swathes of a ship's radio imager.

[7]: A large, mechanized retroreflector which concentrates heat from all directions, and shoots it back at the viewer, making infrared imaging of a ship nearly impossible.

[8]: In reference to a mechanism which seals the exhaust vents of the Marlin. This turns the entirety of the engine tract into a bomb. A stupid idea if held closed for more than a few seconds.

[gavisuntiedboot]

heyy babes!!! idk if ur taking reqs or not but i randomly had this thought of how would pedri and gavi act/behave/be around a gf!reader that's slightly fuller and she's just not in a body positive mood or like in general what's the vibe

unless that isn't up ur alley which i totally get🧍

love u❤️‍🔥

No Other

WARNINGS: mentions of e*ting d*sorders, poor body image, fat phobia?, and other similar themes. Don’t read if uncomfortable!!

"Are you sure you got your correct size?"

You looked up from your phone at the register and the woman standing behind it.

"Excuse me?" You asked, trying to make sure you heard her correctly. You were defensive and put off the question.

"Are you sure you got the correct size? For the lingiere? " She repeats, smiling sweetly at you, still holding onto your items.

"You don't think I'll fit into that size?" You asked, albeit a little more hostile than you intended, but you were mad. You had been feeling rather insecure in the way you looked recently, and this was not helping. You felt like everyone was staring you as you walked around the department store, judging your looks and figure. You felt the sales associate's brows raise every time you picked up something and put it in your bag. And now, as you were trying to make a 4-digit purchase, you were still being perceived as undeserving of the items.

"Oh my ma'am of course not! I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that - it's just we can't do exchanges on the lingerie items, so we ask everyone to double check the size before. I'm so sorry!" The cashier replied, terror showing in her eyes at the possibility of offending you and having you not purchase anything. Your mouth opened and cheeks heated up, embarrassed at your little outburst.

"Oh, no I- I misunderstood you. My fault." You muttered, grabbing the bodysuit from the counter and checking the size again. It was the right letter, but it still made you sad that the letter on the tag was not an "S". You handed it back to the cashier, who packed you up as fast and silently as possible, thanking every deity she knew that you hadn't been offended. You swiped your card, grabbed your bags, and walked out of the store. Your friend stood there, scrolling through her feed as she waited for you. You walked up to her, glancing at her screen, and saw the last thing you needed: more girls that you thought were prettier than you. Tall and tan, large chests, flat stomachs, big butts and tiny legs.

"You ready to go get lunch?" She asked, recognizing your presence.

"Um," you said, looking down at your feet, "I think I'm going to skip out on lunch today. I'm seeing Pablo later and I don't want to be bloated." Biting your lip, you avoided the inquisitive stare she was sending you.

"You didn't have breakfast though, and you're not seeing him for another what? 5 hours? You need to eat something. Come on, we're going to lunch." She said, grabbing your hand and pulling you in the direction of the restaurant. You sat through lunch, picking little bits off your friend's plate, sipping on a Diet Coke and pretending that you had been hit with a sudden bout of nausea to prevent you from ordering your own plate. Your friend finished her meal, concerned looks persisting despite her saying nothing. She dropped you off at your place, rolling down the window as you walked off.

"Eat well at dinner with Pablo tonight, okay?"

You nodded and gave her a soft smile, waving as she drove off. The house was silent and still, just the environment you needed at the moment. Your phone lit up with a notification as you put your shopping down.

*@urnameoutfits just posted*

You opened the notification, finding photos of you from your date with Pablo a few weeks ago. You were in a pair of black leather pants, a dark green bodysuit, and some Jordan 1s for a casual dinner. You smiled fondly at the photo of Gavi’s arm around your shoulders, the two of you looking deeply at each other and smiling. It has been such a good night, one where you could both go out and enjoy each others’ company without worrying about training the next morning. You knew you shouldn’t, but you decided to take a look at the comments.

@user : they’re so cute together 😭❤️

@user : I neeeeeed those Jordans in my life!!

You smiled to yourself, enjoying the positive attention. You had spent a long time working to be comfortable in your relationship with Pablo. It was heart warming to see the public start to warm up to you as well. But then you continued to read.

@user : why would she wear something that makes her look bigger than the planet Earth???

@user : imagine being an athlete w a fat gf 😳

@user : a restaurant is actually the last place she needs to be right now

You quickly closed the instagram app, tossing your phone on the bed and breathing deeply. Your body image was something that you had struggled with since your early teens. It started with your family, who would always comment on the amount of food you ate and were always curious about your exercise. Then it was your friends in school, who always skipped lunch and using coffee or cigarettes as meal replacements. They would offer you clothes to borrow, but they just wouldn’t fit in the same way. It started to weigh on you physically and mentally.

You did a lot of work on yourself once you met Pablo, but not in the healthiest way. You refused to eat anything “unhealthy” in front of him, and pushed yourself past your limits of exhaustion with your workouts. You would go home after your dates and cry into your pillows, intense stomach pangs of hunger hitting yo through the night. This is how you persisted for the first couple months of your relationship. That was until he decided to surprise you one day after practice and found you on the floor of your bedroom, crying because your jean size had 2 digits in it. He dropped to the floor and pulled you into him, caressing your hair as you shook with sobs. You explained to him what had been going on, and you saw the pain deep into his wide honey eyes. He would have rather been stabbed than learn you were suffering.

Since then, he has worked with you to help your body image, and not just in the “he tells me I’m beautiful” way. One day after practice he found you curled up on the couch, teary eyed and doom scrolling through instagram models. He took your phone from your hand, and went through to remove anyone you followed for “body inspo”. He blocked the word “fat” and several other synonyms from your comments. He helped you find a nutritional therapist that you could talk to and get more help from than Pablo himself could provide. And obviously he reminded you through his actions and words that he thought you were stunning.

You walked over to the bag and pulled out your purchases. You had gotten a gorgeous black lace bodysuit that was going to hug every curve. As much as you wanted to just wear it out to dinner, it was still not socially acceptable to just wear lingerie to a restaurant, and so you paired it with a deep marrow cropped button up and a black skirt. Laying them out on the bed, you moved towards the shower, wanting to feel your best for your date tonight.

When you got out of the shower, you clipped back your hair and slipped into the bodysuit. It was a little tight, and accentuated more of your middle than you would have liked. You put the skirt on as well, and avoided the full length mirror in the room, running quickly past it to do your hair and makeup at the vanity. You smoked out your eyes and dried your hair, wanting to give off a “I was born sexy” type of look. Your phone chimed with a message.

[pablito ❤️‍🔥]: I’ll be home in 20 mins amor. Can’t wait to see u 😚

You smiled at your phone, finishing off your makeup while trying not to hyper fixate on the size of your arms in the mirror. You finished your makeup, and now it was time to finish getting dressed, your least favorite part of the experience. You walked over to the long mirror and stared at yourself in the outfit. Everything was wrong. Your shoulders looked too wide and manly, especially when paired with your arms. You felt your stomach looked larger than you thought it was, with virtually no waist to be seen. You turned to the side, grimacing in disgust. Your legs were too short and stocky. You felt that your face looked too round from the side. Wrong wrong wrong. You felt tears building, and you tried to hold them back as to not ruin your makeup. You didn’t want Pablo to know you had regressed.

You had a lot of low points on this journey. When you first appeared in Pablo’s life, you heard a lot of girls say you weren’t a threat because of how you looked - that they could steal him from you. Just when you had gotten over this incident, you found yourself in a TikTok titled “footballers with fat girlfriends”. And now it seemed everyone was eager to find an opportunity to berate your body.

Pablo walked into the house and shut the door, listening for you. He wanted to surprise you with flowers, and so he peered around the living room looking for you. When he didn’t see you, he moved quietly towards the bedroom, opening the door.

“I hope you didn’t miss me too much while I was- amor what’s wrong?” He asked. He stood behind you, eyes meeting yours in the mirror. Your eyes were red from holding back tears, and once you saw the bouquet in his hands, the flood gates had opened. Tears were flowing freely down your face, taking your makeup and your dignity with them. Pablo threw the flowers on the bed behind him and rushed to you, holding you in his arms once again.

“Baby, what happened? What’s wrong?” He asked, concern and worry evident in his tone.

“It’s me. Im wrong.” You said quietly, tears still falling. He put one hand on each side of your face, cupping your cheeks and pressing his forehead to yours.

“Mi vida, don’t ever say that. You’ve been a blessing in my life since you entered it, and it hurts me more than anything to see you upset. What’s wrong?”

You looked at him in the eyes, seeing the pain and hurt and worry there. You didn’t want to be the cause of Pablo’s distress.

“It’s just… my body again. I know we’ve talked about this a lot but I’m just not happy with how I look. I never am. And when I get closer to accepting it I always have someone telling me I’m gross because I’m curvier. Even tonight I wanted to look good for you and I can’t even do that. By thighs and stomach are too big and stand out too much and I’m sorry that im never going to be pretty enough to deserve you.” You said, your last words coming out as barely a whisper as your tears began anew.

At that last line, Pablo felt something within him break. He was staring at the love of his life, watching her shake with sobs because she thought she wasn’t pretty enough for him. And for what? Not being a size 0? His chest was tight and breathing shallow. He wanted to help you in any way he could. He wanted to give you his eyes from his skull if it meant you could see yourself from his perspective just for a moment. He wanted to declare you the most gorgeous creature to ever grace the earth. He wanted to be beside you at all times, making sure to other man ever got the full pleasure of witnessing your beauty. He wanted you to love yourself the way he loved you.

“Mi Amor, Mi sol, Mi vida. You are perfect. Every since inch of you is the definition of perfection in my eyes. Since the moment I met you, I knew that I would never look at anyone the way that I wanted to look at you. There’s no other hand I want to hold. There’s no other eyes that I want to see. There’s no other lips I would rather kiss than yours. I want to trace every curve you have until I can sculpt you from memory. I want to kiss every inch of skin until you start to believe how much I worship every part of you. I don’t want a skinnier girl - I want you. You’re the love of my life. My soulmate. And I believe, truly, that every single inch of you was created just for me. You are everything I want and more than I deserve, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to convince you of that.”

You brought your hands up to rest on top of his as you looked him straight in the eyes. You could tell he meant every word. You were his godsend, his gift from heaven, and he would never question the perfection of the Lord’s creation. He thought every day how lucky he was to be the one receiving your love.

You pulled him in and captured his lips in a slow, soft kiss. Tears were still falling, but now they were tears of happiness. Tears of love. You pulled his bottom lip into your mouth, licking along it, and continuing to slowly kiss him as you wrapped your arms around his waist. Pablo’s hands remained on your face, and he pulled you in closer than you thought possible. The kiss deepened, and neither of you wanted to break it. You both wanted to stay in that little bubble, lips pressed together and hands warm.

Pablo eventually pulled away, going straight back to looking in your eyes as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

“You look absolutely breathtaking tonight.” You scoffed at this, rolling your eyes slightly.

“I’m being serious. That skirt, those legs, the color red on you… you look amazing.”

You kissed him once again, and then leaned your weight against his chest. You sniffled slightly, wiping wet mascara tears from your cheek.

“I’m sorry I made us miss dinner. And oh my God the flowers!” You said, bumping up to lit them in water. Pablo watched you scurry around, looking for vases and other things. You looked like you had been crying, but your eyes were softer now, and there was a smile playing on your lips.

“Don’t worry about it, amor. Your happiness is the most important thing to me.”

You walked back up to him, laying against him again as he turned on the TV in the bedroom. He looked down at you, catching a glimpse of lace from his top-down view.

“Amor, are you hiding something under that shirt?”

You looked up coyly through your lashes, blushing slightly and a smile on your lips. You stared undoing the buttons on your shirt.

“It was supposed to be for after dinner, but I think I’m going to retire it after today. It doesn’t look very good.”

You said this as you finished the last button, letting your shirt drop from your shoulders. Pablo took his bottom lip between his teeth, continuing to watch as you stood and removed the skirt as well. You stood before him, only covered by some thin fabric and lace.

“You’re right. It doesn’t look ‘very good’, it looks incredible.” He said, quiet and somewhat breathless. He beckoned you over and you crawled to him, situating yourself in his lap. He played with the hem on your breasts.

“You must have gotten this custom made, Amor. Who else has the body to look this good? Not one soul on this earth.”

You giggled to yourself and tried to hide your face in embarrassment. Pablo notices and started attacking your neck with kisses.

“Thank you, Pablo. I love you, you know that?” You said, sinking into the feeling of Pablo’s lips on you.

“I love you more. I’d do anything to see you smile.

~~~

A/N: hey guys! I got a couple requests to do something like this so I hope y’all liked it!! I said this in another post but I’m not a super curvy or plus size girl, and I don’t claim to me. I just would like to add some requested diversity in what the reader might look like. As always, I love reading feedback, so feel free to leave it in the comments or send it to my ask box. Love y’all ❤️‍🔥

[usafphantom2]

Randy’s Warbird Profiles: Grumman F7F-3P Tigercat

June 28, 2024 Angela Decker Warbirds News 0

By Randy Malmstrom

Since his childhood, Randy Malmstrom has had a passion for aviation history and historic military aircraft in particular. He has a particular penchant for documenting specific airframes with a highly detailed series of walk-around images and an in-depth exploration of their history, which have proved to be popular with many of those who have seen them, and we thought our readers would be equally fascinated too. If Randy’s last name seems familiar, it is because the U.S. Air Force’s present-day Malmstrom AFB, near Great Falls, Montana is named in honor of his cousin, Col Einar Axel Malmstrom. Col Malmstrom commanded the 356th Fighter Group during WWII, flying P-47 Thunderbolts, the first of Randy’s articles featured an example of the type, P-47D 45-49406 (N7159Z) at the Flying Heritage & Combat Armor Museum in Everett, Washington.

This installment of Randy Malmstrom’s aircraft profiles takes a look at the Grumman F7F Tigercat. On January 2, 1930, Grumman Aircraft Engineering Aircraft Corporation was founded by Leroy (“Roy”) Grumman three of his friends, Leon (“Jake”) Swirbul, William Schwendler, and Edmund Ward Pool, when they left Loening Aeronautical Engineering Corporation. First located in Baldwin, New York, the plant was moved to Valley Stream and Farmingdale before moving to Bethpage, New York in 1937. Initially nicknamed the “Tomcat” (but considered too suggestive), what became the “Tigercat” was designed as a carrier-based aircraft for the larger U.S. Navy Midway-class carriers.

Detail design began in 1941 but was delayed by including an “unsatisfactory” tailhook design and poor directional stability with only one engine operational, but the biggest delays came from the Navy asking Grumman to give priority to the development and production of the Hellcat. The Tigercat was powered by a pair of Pratt & Whitney R-2800-34W Double Wasp radial engines and was fitted with four M2 cannons (two in each wing root) and four 0.50 cal. M2 Browning machine guns in the nose. It had a max payload of 2,000 lbs. and could be configured to as a single or two-seater.

XF7F 1 at Moffett Field 1946

XF7F-1 BuNo 03550, the second prototype, at Moffett Field, California in 1946. NASA photo

In November 1944, F7F-1 BuNo 80291 completed the type’s carrier qualification trials aboard USS Shangri-La (CV-38), but by that time the land-based VMF-911 had been training on F7F-1s at MCAS Cherry Point, North Carolina since the summer of 1944. After producing just 34 -1s, Grumman began turning out F7F-2s, which, at the Navy’s request provided space for a radar operator, which required the capacity of the reserve fuel tank to be reduced from 426 to 375 gallons.

The story of the Tigercat in World War II is a case of so close, yet so far. The first squadron to receive the F7F-2N was Marine Night Fighter Squadron Five three One (VMF(N)-531) Grey Ghosts, which embarked aboard USS Attu (CVE-102) on July 24, 1945. As the ship neared Guam, the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima on August 6. After unloading in Guam, the squadron arrived on Okinawa on September 1, the day before the Japanese signed the “Japanese Instrument of Surrender the following day. The same fate befell Marine Photographic Squadrons Two Five Four (VMD-254) and Three Five Four (VMD-354), both of which operated the F7F-3P. The combat debut of the Tigercat would have to wait five years just across the Sea of Japan. During Korea, VMF(N)-542 Tigers and -513 Flying Nightmares flew night interdiction and close air support sorties with the latter squadron shooting down a pair of Po-2 biplanes on night harassment raids. Combat operations for the Tigercat ended in April 1952, when the Flying Nightmares flew it final combat sortie, although a number of F7F-3N/-4N/-3Ps continued to fly in non-combat roles until the end of the war.

While 1,500 Tigercats were commissioned, fewer than 500 were delivered, and, to my knowledge, only eight remain airworthy. This particular F7F-3P, BuNo 80483, was delivered to the U.S. Navy on July 24, 1945 and was assigned to NAS San Diego. After 46 hours of non-combat flying time, it was relegated to the boneyard at NAS Litchfield Park, Arizona but became one of less than twenty Tigercats eventually rescued from Litchfield. This example flew for SIS Q Flying Services out of Santa Rosa, California. In 1962, SIS Q Flying Services of Santa Rosa, California won a National Forest Service contract to provide airborne forest fighting services in California and Oregon and acquired a number of Tigercats, including 80483, and outfitted them for aerial fire fighting operations. Registered as N6178C, this aircraft flew over 1,300 hours with SIS Q Flying Services before eventually being sold.

Grumman F7F 3N Tigercat Sis Q Santa Rosa CA March 3 1988 RuthAS

Our subject Tigercat in Santa Rosa, California on March 29, 1988 during its career with Sis Q Flying Services. RuthAS photo.

In November 1988, it was shipped to Duxford, U.K., and for a time was painted as a Tigercat of U.S. Marine Corps VMF(N)-542. It was then acquired by a John Sessions entity in 2003 for the Historic Flight Foundation which is now shuttered but was previously located in Spokane, Washington. In 2016, it was sold to Comanche Maverick Air, L.L.C., a Houston, Texas-based entity, owned by Dan Friedkin. It is currently painted as an F7F-3P with tail code “MW” of U.S. Marine Corps VMJ-1, and in the name of a former Tigercat pilot, aeronautical engineer and author Lieutenant Commander A.M. “Mike” Granat, United States Navy (Ret.), Lt Commander Granat flew over 30 aircraft, including the Tigercat.

About Randy Malmstrom

Randy Malmstrom grew up in a family steeped in aviation culture. His father, Bob, was still a cadet in training with the U.S. Army Air Forces at the end of WWII, but did serve in Germany during the U.S. occupation in the immediate post-war period, where he had the opportunity to fly in a wide variety of types which flew in WWII. After returning to the States, Bob became a multi-engine aircraft sales manager and as such flew a wide variety of aircraft; Randy frequently accompanied him on these flights. Furthermore, Randy’s cousin, Einar Axel Malmstrom flew P-47 Thunderbolts with the 356th FG from RAF Martlesham Heath. He was commanding this unit at the time he was shot down over France on April 24th, 1944, spending the rest of the war as a Prisoner of War. Following his repatriation at war’s end, Einar continued his military service, attaining the rank of Colonel. He was serving as Deputy Wing Commander of the 407th Strategic Fighter Wing at Great Falls AFB at the time of his death in a T-33 training accident on August 21st, 1954. The base was renamed in his honor in October 1955 and continues to serve in the present U.S. Air Force as home to the 341st Missile Wing. Randy’s innate interest in history in general, and aviation history in particular, plus his educational background and passion for WWII warbirds, led him down his current path of capturing detailed aircraft walk-around photos and in-depth airframe histories, recording a precise description of a particular aircraft in all aspects.

Author ProfileRelated Posts

Angela-Decker

Angela Decker, from McPherson, Kansas, discovered her passion for aviation after earning a Master’s in Military History from Norwich University in 2011. Since 2012, she has volunteered with vintage aviation groups, excelling as a social media content creator and coordinator. Angela has coordinated aviation and WWII events, appeared as Rosie the Riveter, and is restoring a Stearman aircraft. She is the Operations Logistics Coordinator at CAF Airbase Georgia and an accountant with a degree in Economics from the University of Georgia. Her son, Caden, shares her love for aviation and history and is studying Digital Media Arts.

@VintageAircraftNews.com

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I love to see my biases get the BB 1s, but when one starts making that their goal, hmm that kind of disconnects me from them as an artist.

I won't say more. I just wish artists I stan placed more focus on the art. Let charts happen naturally.

You're blog isn't like the blind fandom, so I am saying this here.

It's not hard to see through things. Chapter 2 has been interesting so far. I am not making any opinions based of things that are happening, but if it becomes a pattern with the artist, well... that's a problem.

Anon, we both know who were're talking about, lol. I'm gonna use the names, for the sake of making it easier for me to write a response.

A few weeks ago, I was watching this documentary about Wham. Some light entertainment for me initially, but it did offer me the chance for a fresh perspective. I don't exactly remember the details, but they've reached a point in which George Michael wanted to have 4 songs to reach number 1 on some chart, the fourth being Last Christmas. He was a bit obsessed with this and he also wanted to be a bigger artist. In later archival interviews, Michael actually mentions it was his ego as an artist because he knew he could. And he did, he outgrew the boyish band and the situation was almost ideal because Andrew, his bandmate, also knew that. It also meant getting away from their carefully constructed image, the object of desire for teenagers and women everywhere. For George, it was also about stepping away from performing a specific type of heteronormativity that can be found in boy bands. It never crossed my mind while watching it that his ego is too big, or why is he so obsessed with the charts. Maybe because it was all in the past and I've seen what the future would hold for him. Or that when I heard him talk about what he wants to achieve and his inner struggle, there was sincerity there and also that drive that only someone really young can have when they believe they can do anything.

I've read Jungkook's Weverse interview and listened to what he had to say during the Seven promotions. And while there may be some comparisons to be made to how George Michael came across when talking about his musical career, there were also some differences.

I'm glad to see Jungkook being more confident. I remember some of the things he used to say in the past, about his self worth, a lack of confidence and meaning outside the group. That wasn't healthy. And to hear him now, especially on Suchwita, it's a 180° change. But in his case, there's a very fine line between being confident and becoming cocky. And that's not a good look. It's almost like he's trying to project an image of a new Jungkook but one that is still in the works and not all parts fit perfectly together. He's going through a transformation ever since the hiatus, which I expected. It was about having to adapt to a different pace, life after 10 years of being part of a group. Jungkook was always trying to find his identity and this single is only one step in that journey.

But that doesn't mean that I as a fan and as a person, have to like it. If it doesn't match with what I'm looking for in the artists that I'm interested in, then so be it. I will talk about it, but I'll also not follow that person's musical career anymore. If I don't like the artistic direction and I don't like this overconfident, slighly exaggerated bravado, then that's it.

It's also impossible to not make a comparison to Jimin. Not for some dick measuring contest (it's what pjms and jjks are doing), but because there is room and justification for it. Both are from the same kpop group, both have embarked on a solo career and both chose a more mainstream pop music, as opposed to their older bandmates. And both got that BB 1. And what we can compare is song quality, artist reaction and how the company's response came across into fan spaces.

In terms of the songs, I could write entire essays because at the end of the day, it wouldn't matter. It's all subjective. There is no rule that says a number one song should be about some personal experience, or the singer should have writing credits on it. And I also can't take away my subjectivity. I will chose Like Crazy over a song that not only sounds like a Bieber tune from years ago, but also has lyrics as if they were written by the boys from Larry Clark's Kids.

As to the reaction, Jimin did exactly what I expected him to do. He was humble, grateful and emotional and we saw that when he turned on the livestream. It's what makes him who he is and how he always behaves. As opposed to that, Jungkook wanted to be appear cool. And for what? Especially when later he said how excited he actually was but he refrained from expressing that. Where's the authenticity that he seeks so much through his livestreams? Because he released a song about sex for which he never officially performed live the explicit version, that means that the attitude should match that? I know the next day he was live and he was really nice. But that entire event is tainted in my mind with this almost expectation and confidence that he'll get that no. 1 and after he got the western validation, they decided to remember there's fans at home too and went to Inkigayo.

Which leads me to the last point that shows the obvious bias and preference that cannot simply be denied when it comes to BH. It's even more obvious because the entire BTS brand was that there are no favorites, which is not the same strategy as with other companies and groups. And now, all of a sudden, there is. It's great that BH celebrates an artist's success and they can immediately put on a show. But it doesn't justify how the first one to have the achievement was ignored. I have to admit, I was happy when Jimin got his no. 1 because I thought it only meant more promotions, more Jimin, more of everything. Just to be left utterly confused.

I've put that all in the past and I really try not to get too emotionally involved because as an individual, it has no bearing on my personal life and it doesn't have that many negative effects on my fan engagement.

I side eye Jungkook for how he presents himself in official promotions, but then he goes live and all of a sudden, it's the Jungkook that I'm used to. The guy who is a dork and funny and grateful to his fans. The one who cries hearing fan songs and who still beats himself up for hours because he messed up a song. I do criticize some of his actions and statements, but I'm not slandering him. The guy seems like a genuinely nice person and I still like him. He's still one of my biases for many reasons. But me having this reaction to content catered specifically for fans to create a more intimate connection is something BH was always good at. We only have to look at all the BTS footage out there. They've perfected the way in which personality comes first a lot of the times. It's what draws fans in (aside from music) and what keeps them interested. I'm part of that.

I'm convinced that it's most likely that a Jungkook fan or army or whoever disagrees with me, will read all this and believe I hate Jungkook. Which would be a shame because all I'm trying to do is explain how complex this situation is. It's never as black and white as solo stans would like everyone to believe and it's not a debate that can be generalized and tossed aside as solo talk by the ot7 chorus. I'm sure there are a lot of reasonable people in this fandom still who are able to have more than one thought in their head and see that only through a naunced discussion we can look at facts, see what's an exaggeration and what's false. To be able to distinguish between facts and personal opinion and also to admit that. That's not possible if we're not looking at these people as complex beings, instead of victims and villains.

[overdicebro]

Slay the Princess is a masterpiece, we already experienced the full game and walked endless playthroughs just to see how many changed and how many did not. Stp as the complete game is beautiful enough but I think we need to talk about the demo too, in the demo not much was revealed except the complete chapter 1s and a glimpse of the chapter 2 so we only get to just conjure some thoughts about the game's plot with what the game has, idk but I've been watching the game's demo since on Manlybadasshero's channel so yeah it was my introduction to the game.

So I've been rewatching the demo videos and I think there's something interesting about our assumptions before and how they differ in the full game, but even with our assumptions it still can be true since that's the games nature. Before I remember that many people believed that the narrator was the one who pulled all the strings and the narrator is bigger than both TLQ & TSM, some already caught on the main plot of the game but there were many comments discussing theories about the game is essentially just a "what if?" alternate version of Knights & Princess games, and how it's an edgy and more darker version of Stanley Parable etc. with the narrator gaslighting you and stuff. But the main thing is that the narrator was a BIG direction of the game and it's mystique led as to believe as such.

And I'm always emphasizing that one Nightmare Scene where she took off her mask is what made ME to believe that there could be a backstory to this. But there isn't, there wasn't people that could back up the background of the Princess, there aren't animals found in the world(construct), there were no birds but trees, there wasn't a story of the Princess that could back her up that she's HUMAN or even a real princess at that. Because she isn't a princess or THE princess, she's the Shifting Mound titled as a princess. (Quick Tangent here: I think the Narrator could have made TSM into something else rather than a princess, he could have made her a seamstress as he likes; maybe the Narrator just doesn't like royalty)

Especially TLQ, it's already given that he isn't human but his voices and his choices morale make him seem human a little. Many people in the comments actually thought TLQ was made to be a bird-like creature to be diverse to its players. There aren't exactly hints at the demo that we are a god and the half of TSM because the focus was centered on the Princess, even he has no backstory, no background, no nothing.

It was obvious that the 2 didn't really have a life except the plot device of TLQ slaying the Princess. So that should've been a big sign to ME atleast that I shouldn't expect a backstory or something to make things less vague. I thought in the complete game we will be given more hints about the 2(+narrator) and expand more on the personal things.

But no, in the full game we were given answers to our previous questions but were also given more. The “world” was just a construct representing many more worlds to be devoid of change. That's why there weren't many living beings surrounding the Construct, just Shifty & Gary (+ the trees). Because the Narrator wanted a scripted situation to happen in order to release his tension regarding death.

So basically the Narrator is actually the only one with an ACTUAL backstory, yet his story and where he come from isn't expanded more because, again, the game is centered around the two TLQ & TSM. 2 Gods and concepts reuniting again after being separated by a desperate man with a fear of death.

So again BASICALLY what my assumptions of how the Narrator was BIGGER than the two. He is actually smaller than the CONCEPTS of Permanence and Change. He tried to desperately remove death from the universe which is actually badass af by splitting the pair and making the other kill the other.

It just hurts my brain to think that the plot I subconsciously made was so drastically different compared to the final game. Yet it's satisfying at the same time, cause tbh I was expecting for there to be boss fight with the Narrator and finally breaking out of the artificial plot, instead we got an argument with Shifty and finally breaking out the artificial plot. Which is essentially the same thing just a WHOLE different execution of what I thought.

Thank you for listening to my ted talk

THIS SHI LONG ASFF bro I should go to sleep goodnight peeps

[serenpedac]

One of the things that has been on my mind as of late is The Three-Body Problem, both the recent Netflix series and Cixin Liu’s book.

This is not about some of the major things that people are probably discussing elsewhere, but just a few of my own thoughts on some details. I’m writing this down mainly for myself, but still wanted to share it somewhere, in case anyone is interested in my ramblings about astronomy and particle physics ^^

One of the things I love is the human-computer they make in the game. I'm not a computer scientist and can't comment on how realistic it is, but since computing is 1s and 0s, I can see the basics work. 

It also reminds me of an early simulation of cosmological structure formation in which they used people to act as particles. They were spread out and then given instructions about where to move, I assume based on which other person was closest, while also taking into account clusters of people would have a stronger effect than a single person. I tried to look up more details, but couldn't find anything, unfortunately, but it’s something that was briefly mentioned during a cosmology course.

The idea is similar to modern simulations, although it’s extremely simplified of course (see here for a beautiful example).

Another thing that stood out to me was the mention of Chien-Shiung Wu*. It’s a very brief mention and mainly in the context of being a woman in STEM, but I think she ties into the scientific side of the story as well.

[For this part, please bear with me and apologies if anything is not clear or incorrect. I’m not the best person to explain this as I really, really wanted to love (astro)particle physics, but that intention was rather one-sided. The few courses I took that dealt with it were a struggle.]

Early on in the story, the point is made that the results the scientists get from experiments are chaotic, they keep getting different results for their monitored particles despite having the same initial conditions. This means that “[...] the laws of physics are not invariant across time and space.”

This immediately reminded me of the breaking of symmetries in particle physics, because that also deals with particles behaving differently from what was expected according to the laws of nature known at the time. In particular the breaking of parity and time symmetry came to mind, as they are about place and time, respectively. And guess what? Wu discovered the breaking of so-called parity symmetry. Let me explain it a bit more ^^ 

Parity transformations are about flipping the sign of the coordinates (of, for example, the location of a particle). You can flip all three the coordinates (x,y,z) → (-x,-y,-z), but you can also just flip one. This ties into “mirroring”, for which you can imagine a mirror being placed on the y-axis, so that the particle’s x coordinate would be -x, as seen in the image below.

If parity symmetry holds for a particle interaction, that interaction would give the same result in a mirrored universe as it does in the “regular” universe.

Experiments showed that this symmetry held for the electromagnetic and the strong nuclear force, and it was expected to hold for all fundamental forces. Wu, however, found that this is not true for the electroweak force. She looked at radioactive decay for a form of cobalt and found that emitted electrons had a very specific preferred direction, which they wouldn't have had if parity symmetry would have held (I'm summarising and simplifying here).

Her result gave us a way of distinguishing left from right, scientifically, but also contradicted what was expected to be a general rule of physics: parity symmetry.

This had large implications for the world of particle physics and eventually led to the development of the Standard Model: a new theory that aims to describe the elementary particles and fundamental forces. (As happens so often with women who make significant contributions to science, her two male colleagues got a Nobel prize for this, while she was overlooked)

Obviously, these results are not the same as the circumstances in The Three-Body Problem—here, a new theory could explain the observed behaviour, whereas the story has unpredictable results—but both have particles that don’t follow the laws of physics that had been established before then.

So, my theory is that the mention of Wu is a nod to this breaking of a scientific paradigm. (I might be way overthinking this)

Finally, something that disappointed me was how in the chapter about the cosmic microwave background (CMB), there's this sentence "The universe itself was transparent; as long as you were sufficiently sharp-eyed, you could see as far as you liked." This is incorrect.

Right after the Big Bang, the universe consisted as a hot plasma, which was opaque. Photons were unable to get out, because the particle density was so high. They would basically be bouncing between particles all the time, never able to travel an extended distance. It is only as this plasma cools down and electrons combine with protons to form hydrogen that photons are able to escape, and these photons are what forms the CMB.

Because you look back in time as you look deeper into the universe, you would eventually encounter this "surface of last scattering", from which the CMB emerges. Beyond this point, you cannot see.

Normally, I wouldn't mind seeing the universe being called transparent for the sake of the storytelling, but to see this mistake in the same chapter that explains the CMB, when the two are tied together, irked me.

But overall, I am loving the book, although I haven't finished it yet (and there are 2 more). I prefer the way it sets up the story and how it feels more grounded than the series. Although I do like the characters from the series more than those in the book (Jin <3333 Auggie! Saul! Will!)

Kudos to anyone who has read all this!

*~*~*~*

Also, here’s a cool article that goes into finding solutions for the three-body problem. It’s by the one of the authors of a solution that is mentioned in the book.

*A confession: when reading her name, I would not have realised that Chien-Shiung Wu was the person behind the Wu experiment, but the translator’s note by Ken Liu mentioned that her work disproved the holding of parity symmetry.

All quotes are from this translation.

[ratherembarrassing]

2024: weeks 31 and 32

OLYMPICS SPECIAL: i feel so cheesy in my heart over how much i loved these games, but it just seems like a lot of the bullshit that has clung to the olympics for the last couple of decades got put to one side for tokyo, and we're. idk. i feel like culturally we're now fully in a less cynical era, and that vibe felt very present, and it feels right that this would reveal itself through an event that's supposed to do just that. [redacted blubbering about sports as a substitute for war vs humanity's underlying desire for closeness]. i had a good time, i'm like foaming at the mouth over how well australia did, my god are athletes hot as fuck, the montages were ever in my favour.

dragon tv: hotd finale made me hate the entire internet and also some real life people, shout out to the person who, to my face in direct response to my long and insane declaration of love for alicent hightower just said "but she's such a useless bitch" right to my face. i don't know how i'm not in prison right now.

in my mouth: currently in my rockmelon era, which is weird for the deep dark depths of winter. vodka pasta, a constant revelation. i baked my dead grandmother's biscuit recipe and have slowly devoured the entire batch over the last week.

also rans: jordan 1s in "light dew" on my feet, tshirt with a giant print of rhaenyra's face on my person. an entire bucket of lemoncello spritzes in my person.