#One day i'll learn what facial expressions are

[emmybeearts]

What a lovely couple :)

Request for @we-dont-talk-about-potato-nonono of their lovely OC’s (Click for better resolution)

[steddie-as-they-come]

Eddie's hanging out in Family Video during Steve and Robin's shift, just being a general nuisance, when it begins.

The other two are talking in low voices in the back corner, discussing something Eddie can't hear. Normally he'd get up and go over there, insert himself into the conversation, command their attention, but he's too busy judgmentally rifling through Family Video's paltry horror movie supply to care that much.

He sneaks a glance over, and then he sees it.

Steve presses a kiss to Robin's forehead.

Eddie has to drop the tape he's holding before he does something stupid like break it out of jealousy.

And he knows, okay, he's heard it no less than eight million times, they're platonic with a capital P. That doesn't stop the little green monster in his chest from rearing its head.

It doesn't stop there, either. Eddie starts to see Steve kiss the rest of the Party. Simple little forehead kisses and temple kisses and kisses on the crowns of their heads, like he's their parent, which, well, he is. He does it when Dustin needs comfort. He slings an arm around Lucas and pulls him close for a kiss on the temple when Lucas makes a particularly good shot for basketball. He does it to Max, on one of her bad days. He even does it to Mike absentmindedly, who makes a feral screech like an angry cat before everyone starts to laugh at him. And of course, he and Robin are always all over each other.

But he won't kiss Eddie.

It's stupid that he expects it. They don't know each other. Steve's been with this group, been saving them from monsters and scientists and torturers for forever.

Eddie still wants in on it. If only to indulge his pathetic little crush on the former King of Hawkins High.

One night, Steve hosts a movie night, and Dustin invites Eddie along. He goes, because of course he does, and takes a seat on the end of the couch as Steve puts in the tape.

Eddie immediately forgets what the movie is, because Steve sits down next to him. His entire brain is a fuzzy kind of static that only intensifies when Steve scoots closer.

"Sorry," is the first word Eddie registers out of Steve's mouth, and he hastily tries to collect his thoughts. Steve moves closer, which doesn't help.

He peers around Steve and sees the kids all trying to squish onto the couch. "Scoot over, Eddie!" Mike shouts, and Eddie moves as close as he can to the arm of the couch. Steve follows, arm around him and thighs pressed close together.

Okay, then. Eddie can die happily tonight, apparently.

Something jumps at the screen, and Steve flinches.

Eddie learns a new thing about Steve that night. Apparently, when Steve gets frightened, he pulls everyone within reach towards him, like he's trying to shield them with his body. Eddie finds himself hugged to Steve's chest and has to employ breathing exercises to get rid of his new little...problem.

He somehow makes it through the movie without spontaneously combusting, a feat nothing short of a miracle. The kids run to the kitchen and Eddie can hear Dustin pick up the phone and say, "Hello, Paulie's Pizza?"

Steve sighs and gets up. "I did not say they could order pizza," he grumbles. He extends his hand to Eddie, and after a second of bewildered staring, Eddie manages to grab it and pull himself to standing.

Robin's sitting on the couch still (she had been on the other side of Steve), and she watches this interaction with an unreadable expression on her face.

Well, unreadable to Eddie, anyway. Steve and Robin proceed to have an entire conversation with just facial expressions, and Eddie is left in the dark about it.

Steve finally rolls his eyes and stalks into the kitchen. He distracts Dustin with a kiss on the top of his head, then steals the phone. "Hi, yeah," he says, and Eddie recognizes that voice as his King-Steve-takes-what-he-wants voice. "No, that's right. Two medium pepperoni pizzas and a side of garlic knots, yep."

He listens, then says, "I'll be over to pick it up," then places the phone back on the receiver with a click.

"I'm going to get the food." he announces to the room at large. "Eddie, you coming?"

"Sure?" Eddie slings his leather jacket from the back of one of the kitchen table chairs and slides his sneakers on.

The drive is quiet. Multiple times, it looks like Steve wants to say something, but he never does. When the two of them walk in to get the pizza, Steve grabs both boxes. "Can you get the door, Eds?"

Eddie wants to tease him about the new nickname, but he chooses not to, opting instead to nod and say, "Sure thing, Stevie." He pulls open the glass door and says, with a mock bow and a grand gesture, "Your majesty."

Steve rolls his eyes. "Thanks." He (finally!!) goes to kiss Eddie.

However, Eddie is not as short as the kids (and Robin) who Steve normally does this to. Eddie's pretty sure the kiss is supposed to land on his forehead.

It lands on his mouth.

Pretty shoddy kiss, as it were. Mostly, Steve kisses the corner of Eddie's mouth.

Both of their faces burn red. If not for Steve's sports-playing, monster-killing reflexes, the pizzas would be on the ground right now.

"Sorry!" Steve says, hurrying out to his car and tossing the food in the backseat. "Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."

Eddie slides into the passenger seat. "Finally!" he says.

"What?"

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Steve, I've been the only one who you haven't been bestowing kisses upon for weeks now. Sorry if I'm excited to be included in the group."

Steve starts the car. "But...those are all platonic kisses."

Eddie scoffs. "What, and kissing me wouldn't be?"

Steve is silent.

"REALLY?" Eddie yells. "Wait, wait-" He leans over the center console. "Steve Harrington, if you wanted a kiss, a romantic kiss, you could have told me before cuddling with me all night!"

Steve sighs. "Fine. Eddie Munson, I'm going to kiss you romantically."

And he leans in.

Eddie's obsessed with the curve and dip of Steve's mouth against his. He greedily cups his hand against Steve's face, his other hand propped up against the center console. Steve tastes like the soda he was drinking earlier, mixed with something richer and deeper that's wholly, entirely Steve.

They break apart at a small crackle from Steve's inner pocket.

"Henderson," Steve says exasperatedly. "That kid is so damn impatient."

"Steve!" Dustin's voice comes from the walkie Steve pulls out. "Have you gotten the pizza yet?"

"Yes, you little shit, we're coming back now." Steve sighs. "Oh! Henderson, find Robin. Tell her it happened."

Eddie shoots Steve a confused look, but Steve just holds up a placating hand, a slight smile on his face.

"OH MY GOD STEVE!" comes Robin's voice on the walkie. "HELL YEAH!"

Steve cackles and leans back in to kiss Eddie, who happily accepts.

[unclewaynemunson]

After Vecna is defeated and the world goes back to normal for good, Steve thinks he can get on with his life. And for a while that's exactly what happens: his scars heal and, against everything he would have ever expected, Eddie heals right beside him.

But a year later, his life gets turned upside down in a whole new way. He gets one more hit to the head. It's a stupid accident, really, something involving a broken lightbulb, an old stepladder and an unfortunate fall. He loses pretty much all his sight. His once expressive brown eyes become hollow shells, one staring right ahead and one turned sideways, but both equally useless.

At first, the darkness is scary. It's frustrating, to be robbed of one of the few things he could always rely on. He has to get to know the world around him in a whole new way. There are days when he hates it, days when he wants to stay in bed in his room forever. There are days when he wants to scream, even days when he wants to cut his own eyes out like Victor Creel did before him.

But slowly, little by little, he learns to live with it. He grows a new appreciation for beautiful music and good food, things that stimulate his other senses that he now relies more heavily on. He develops a sharp ear for people's voices and intonations to make up for the loss of seeing their facial expressions. Where he used to love seeing Robin's bright eyes and Dustin's excited smile, he now treasures the sound of Dustin's laughter and the scent of Robin's cologne.

The one thing he will never stop missing, though, is Eddie's face. The way his eyes light up when he smiles. The way his mouth curves into that mischievous grin that Steve once fell in love with. The way his fluffy curls cascade over his back. Those are the things he misses the most.

There's a lot that makes up for that loss: he can cling to Eddie's arm whenever he wants, without having to worry about people taking their affectionate touches the wrong way. He gets to rely on Eddie's helping hand and to bask in Eddie's scent. And, most importantly: he gets to listen to Eddie's voice all the time, when he describes what's happening around them in lively phrases and with passion in his voice like the true storyteller he is.

“Do you know that there's one thing you're always leaving out when you're describing things to me?” Steve asks him one day, when he feels Eddie's hands move through the air around them during his excited monologue about the orange cat that is currently visiting their garden, chasing after butterflies and going after its own tail in the flowerbeds.

“Huh?” Eddie sounds confused.

“You're always leaving out the most important part,” Steve continues. He lifts his hand and slowly moves it to find Eddie's face. He feels his curls underneath his fingertips, then slides them further over Eddie's features.

“What do you mean, Stevie?”

“You never mention how you look. Only what you see. But if I could see, I'd be looking at you, Eddie. I'd watch your face. I can still remember that curve of your mouth, that crease between your eyebrows...” He lets his hand linger on the places he mentions. “But it's all becoming less clear. I'll never see it again. I don't wanna lose that.”

Steve feels his hand getting covered by another one, lets his fingers be guided across Eddie's cheek.

“You won't,” Eddie tells him softly. “There's no way I'll let you lose that.”

Steve can already feel the change in temperature underneath his fingers before Eddie speaks.

“I'm blushing right now, Stevie. Cause of what you said. And...” He guides Steve's hand further down over the uneven skin of his scarred cheek. “I'm smiling. Just a little bit. Not that wide smile I have when I'm messing with you, but the smaller one, the one that's just for you.”

Eddie squeezes his hand before he lets go. A moment later, his lips brush softly against Steve's, something that's not quite a kiss. Steve can feel that Eddie is about to pull back before it becomes anything more, but he presses back into Eddie's space, chases his warm lips with his own, and wraps his arms around Eddie's body to pull him closer.

Kissing is best without looking anyway.

[sisgotdemons]

Is it bad I just wanna suck Joel off with the highest chance of someone coming in on us? Just like, imagine it, ugh

Birthday Boy

Pairing || Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Summary || It's his day, of course you'd treat him well today.

Word Count || 1,227

Contents & Warnings || Fluff & Smut — NSFW, 18+ Only, Minors DNI, explicit content/language, pet names (baby, hon/honey, sweetheart, good girl), oral (male receiving), teasing, face/throat fucking, spit/saliva, cum swallowing, getting caught, established relationship, ONE spank, 2 mentions of the word Daddy (said by Joel)

Disclaimer || This is my first ever fic, I'm sorry if it's not super good. I promise whatever comes next will be better!

It was Joel's birthday and you invited Tommy over to celebrate with you and Sarah, forcing him to stay home for the day. It's not that he hated to celebrate his day, he was usually busy with work and came home late.

"How old are you again, old man" you hear from the living room, followed by a chuckle from Tommy.

"If you think 28 is old, I'm scared about what you think in 20 years, hon'," you say walking back in the living room with two bowls of popcorn, placing them on the coffee table and sitting right next to your birthday boy.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Joel says while wrapping an arm around you and placing a peck on your temple. Your relationship with Joel has been amazing for the past 2 years. When thinking back about it, you've got thank Sarah and her boldness to get her father into the dating scene. Who's daughter would slip her own dad's number to the local dinner waitress? Only in the Miller household, that's for sure.

"Movie in? What we watching again?," Tommy leans over his niece on the floor, grabbing a beer set there only a few minutes ago, Sarah replies, "Men in Black 2." as she wipes down the liquid ring caused by the beer bottle. "Learn to use a coaster next time, please"

"Ok ok, just play the damn thing. I wanna see if this is better then the original," he said before taking a swig of beer. You all sit comfortably, Tommy and Sarah huddled together on the floor and you and Joel cuddling together. You look up at him, admiring his facial features, wondering how he didn't notice his own beauty. He feels your stares and looks down at you and places his forehead against yours before placing a hand on your thigh and facing back to the screen.

There's about a quarter left of the movie now. Sarah had fallen asleep against Tommy, who's starting to feel the effects of the couple of beers. "I'm heading up, want me to take this one too?," he says looking up at the couple on the couch, "I'll tuck her in and whatever."

"Yeah that's fine Tommy, thank you," you say while smiling at the two on the floor, watching him pick up the sleeping teen, struggling for a second, then walking up the steps. Soft groans and a "Shh, it's fine, just me" can be heard faintly going up the steps.

You and Joel are left alone on the couch and the sequel playing in front of you. Placing a hand on his lap, you lean up and kiss his jaw. "Did you have a good birthday, my love?"

Joel chuckled and pulled you onto his lap, hands placed on your hips, "Of course I did, I always enjoy the quality time we spend, together as a family," he then leans forwards towards your ear whispering, "and when we're alone," followed by a playful smack on your ass.

"Uh, you nasty old man," you jokingly gasped out, lightly hitting Joel's chest. He let out a hearty laugh, both hands now on your ass, "Well this 'old man' loves you and everything you do, baby."

You place your hands on his chest, rubbing softly against the button down he wore. You sit in silence for awhile until you break it.

“Do you want me to suck your dick?”

Your words almost gave him whiplash, eyes blinking furiously as he had a confused and intriguing expression on his face.

“Right now?”

“Yeah dummy, right now.”

“Where did this come from, pretty girl?” His lips turned up in a smirk at the thought of you sucking him off right here on the couch.

“Maybe I'm just in the mood to suck your dick. So do you want me to or not?," you say smirking.

“Fuck, you know I could never resist your offer, baby.” His hand reaches up to your mouth, thumb caressing your lips, thinking about them wrapped around him, making his cock twitch. You reach down and grabbed his covered bulge and palmed him in your hand. The idea of sucking him off had his cock hardened.

“What about Sarah and Tommy, sweetheart? What if they come back down?”

“Well, you need to be my eyes and ears, old man, because I’ll be too busy with your pretty dick in my mouth.”

He groaned in anticipation when you got up and made yourself comfortable on your knees, peering up at him through your thick lashes. Quickly, you pulled his jeans and boxers down, his hard dick springing into view, making you lick your hungry lips.

His hand petting your head lovingly gave you the encouragement you needed to have at him.

You licked his tip, collecting the bead of pre-cum that was forming on it. The feeling of your tongue on him and the risk of getting caught had him groan out.

He pushed your head on his cock, becoming slightly impatient. He wanted to feel your wet and tight mouth rubbing against him. When he was in your throat, he groaned out in satisfaction, his eyes closing in bliss.

You sucked him off like your life depended on it, slurping and moaning around his cock. Your mouth and hand worked together to bring him towards the edge. You released his length for a moment with a pop and spat on him, watching your saliva trickle down his heavy cock, making you hungry for more.

"Fuck baby, you're doing so damn good. Sucking Daddy's cock so good," he says hand gripping your hair, encouraging you to take him deeper once again.

You took him all the way to the back of your throat again, making your eyes water. The light gagging made him shiver on the spot. You pushed through the slight discomfort, wanting to make him feel as good as possible.

He fucked your mouth hard, saliva dripping down your chin with each force of his hips. “So pretty and messy for me, baby.” He was in awe as he watched you take each inch of him. He was a little over average size, yet was thick enough to make your jaw hurt in the best ways.

“Ah, fuck,” he leaned his head back while shutting his eyes tight, “I'm gonna come.”

A thrust or two more, and he was shooting his hot cum down your throat, some coming out from the sides of your mouth. You continued to bob your head on him until he was done spilling every single drop.

“Show me,” he moaned, tugging you off of his softening dick. You showed him your empty mouth, tongue stuck out with no trace left of him in your mouth.

"Such a good girl for me. Knows exactly how to treat her Daddy," he groans while taking his free hand and rubbing your cheek, causing you to lean into his touch.

"Open that pretty mouth again for me, my love." You follow his orders opening your mouth allowing him to spit in your empty cavity and without being told to, you swallow happily.

"Hey lovebirds, next time ya'll are havin' fun, invite me yeah?" You look up in the direction of the stairs, hearing the other male voice in the house chuckle. "If you don't, just keep it down next time."

[ch3rriiii-bunn]

Hiii! I was really hoping you could do an nsfw / fluff Kokushibo x fem! Reader and Kokushibo comes home after a long day and he was feeling like he wants to relieve stress by having sex with his wife. (aka the reader)

I really hope this made sense to you because I’m not the best with words.

Btw I really liked the Overstimulated/praise (I think is what it was) with giyuu!

After hours

Paring: Kokushibou x Fem!reader

Synopsis: taking his and your stress away

Content: Modern day au, husband Michikatsu, ceo husband, assistant wife, mention of drinking wine but no one is drunk. just a buzz, light fluff, sex on the couch, praising, spurting, light aftercare, pussy drunk Michikatsu, mating press

Word count: 2.1k

A/n: AHH THANK U!! yall have no idea how much I giggled writing that giyuu fic🤭

Working in the same company as your husband was great. You both made good money, had great positions in your field of work, and had the support of staff members in the company when you announced your engagement years ago. Although, some suspected the relationship between you two would escalate since it's common for a ceo to have a thing for his assistant

You and Michikatsu, of course, learned to keep your personal life separate from work life. However, life always has its ups and downs, and for these past couple of months, work has been piling up more than usual. Work was stressing you both out lately, especially Michikatsu. The number of projects and overtime you both had to do definitely delayed any personal time. Luckily, you finished your work early on a Friday evening, and you told Michikatsu.

He frowned. That means you were able to go home now that you've completed your work, but he was reluctant to let you go. "Can't you stay a bit longer?" Kokushibou firmly said, trying to stay professional, but he just couldn't. He wanted you to stay longer and tried to find some reason for not leaving him just yet. You raised your brow with a soft smirk on your face.

"I didn't know you've gotten so attached me to at work. We're supposed to keep this professional, Mr. Tsugikuni," you teased. Michikatsu's eyes softened at you, along with his facial expression. "You're my assistant. Yet you're also my wife. Is it so bad I'm attached to you, even during work hours, Mrs. Tsugikuni?" Michikatsu replied with his brow raised at you.

You chuckled. "It's not bad, my love. However, I do want to go home now. I love your company, but if I stay in this building any longer, I'll scream," You sarcastically say, but you needed to take this chance and go home. "You should hurry up too. We've been basically living here in this building with the amount of overtime we've been doing," you grinned and gave Michikatsu a pleading look.

Michikatsu stayed silent for a moment before letting out a sharp sigh. "Okay. I'll try and finish early. See you when I get home," Michikatsu leaned back in his chair, stretching before getting back to his room after exchanging his goodbyes with you. His eyes watched as you left, admiring you, his beautiful wife, but then his eyes watched how your hips swayed as you walked, especially in the black shirt and your black tights hugging your legs.

"Fuck... okay okay, back to work. No more distractions," Michikatsu said to himself. Hours went by, and Michikatsu was done. It was 8:30pm when he finished and then arrived at his shares home with you at 9pm. "I'm home," Michikatsu announced his arrival as he came inside the house, taking off his shoes and coat. "Hi! Come in the living room." You peek your head from around the coner and gesture for him to come towards you.

Michikatsu made his way to the living room, tired out of his mind to argue, and then, his eyes lit up a bit. He wasn't expecting a dinner since you and him ate before at the office. However, he wasn't expecting you to have this romantic setup. You had some candles lit, they smelled like vanilla, and you had two glasses of wine set on the mini table in front of the couch, next to a bottle of wine.

You smiled at Michikatsu. His lips curled into an upside, and he made his way towards you. His hands reach out to your waist and pull you close to him and give you a peck on the lips. "You know you could've taken my card to buy the wine," he reminded you, but you shook your head. "You spoil me. So let me spoil you tonight." You smiled at him. Michikatsu got a bit flustered, and you even saw how his cheeks started to turn pink. Now, having a small blush on his face.

"I should go shower-" "no~ come stay here with me. You're acting like you're all sweaty or something," you playfully sniffed Michikatsu, and he chuckled. He placed his hand on your head, petting you for a moment before sitting down on the couch. Once seated, you poured wine for you both and then handed Michikatsu his glass.

You both did a cheers and sipped on the drinks. Michikatsu wasn't one to always start a conversation. He only spoke when needed and always let you start and carry the conversations. He felt the buzz in his body from the wine, and he sure you felt it too since you seem more relaxed instead of being hyper focused like you would at work.

Michikatsu put his arm around you, listening to you speak, but his eyes just wondered your face. From your lips, cheeks, nose, and all over, he just couldn't get enough. It's like his mind was somewhere else. You continue rambling about date ideas. You suggest multiple date ideas for future days off and even suggesting kokushibo to try out new hobbies with you.

You pause midway through your sentence and raise your brow at Michikatsu. "Are you listening?" You asked, holding your half empty glass and paying more attention to his gaze upon you. He was so close, and it felt like you were about to have your first kiss all over again just from his gaze, looking like he wanted to kiss you right now.

Michikatsu nodded. "Uh huh... yeah, painting sounds nice to do on the weekend," he said as his tone got slowly. He had to think to himself while staring into your eyes. How long has it been since he was this close to you other than sleeping next to you in the bed and besides kissing you Good morning and goodnight.

Work really held him back from you, and he realized that. "Everything okay, Michi.. ooh," his name faded slowly from your lips once his hand moved its way to your tit and cupped it in his large hand gently. Michikatsu was so close to you now. His touch and this tension was enough to make it feel like the room got hotter. Michikatsu gave you tit a squeeze before letting it go and placing his hand on your back.

"You're beautiful," he said, putting his wine glass down and cupping your cheek with his other hand and having your body lean back a bit on the couch. "You picked a good night to wear these shorts. You have such pretty legs," he said seductively, pushing you down light onto the couch to be above you. "Michikatsu~" you whispered, closing your eyes as you feel his hand find its way to your inner thigh and grabbing your flesh.

"Even at work. You wear the same office uniform but to see you in your skirt and tights today? It took everything out of me to not rip them off and have my way with you on my desk," his deep voice whispered against your ear. You hold onto his shoulders, feeling your body heat up and bit your bottom lip, holding back a moan once his lips made contact with your neck.

His kisses her so soft for a few moments until he really started to get into it. His breaths become heavier, and you gasped once you felt his lips apply more pressure with each kiss kiss. "I want you, i need you," his voice rasped and restrained himself from continuing until you answered him. "Can we do it? I want to make you feel so good on my cock" Michikatsu's hands hold onto your hips as he slowly grinds himself over your clothed cunt.

"Mhm~ mm," you nod quickly, rolling your hips up to match the rhythm of his grind. "No. I need words, love. Tell me you want it~" Michikatsu said between hitched breaths as he grinded his growing election harder. "I want you. I want you, Michikatsu~" You looked at him, your eyes half yet looking at him with such need. "Good girl." Michikatsu grinned and went back to kissing your neck while having his hands go up your top.

"Careful with the biting, you'll leave marks," you warned Michikatsu with a soft whine, but he only chuckles. "Are you worried others at the office will notice them? Fine. I'll leave my marks where no one but you and I can see them." he smirked, lifing up your shirt over your tips and stopped at your collar bone. "No bra? It's like you wanted me all a long, haven't you, babe? " Michikatsu licked his lips and helped you take off your top and throwing it to the side.

Michikatsu pulled your shorts, along with your panties off, and brought his lips to your tit where. His lips captured your hard nipple in his mouth and began to swirl his tongue around it lightly before sucking on it. Your back arches from his tough, and you moaned with some grunts mixed in once his mouth sucked on random parts around your tits, biting and sucking until the spots turned a deep purple.

"Open your legs for me, sweetheart." Michikatsu pushed his hand between your opening legs, placing three fingers on your pussy and began to rub your clit in big, slow cirlces. "I've kept you pent up, haven't I? You're already this wet for me," Michikatsu hummed as he went to suck on your other nipple. "Michikatsu, Michikatsu~" you moaned his name with heavy breaths as your hips roll in circles to his touch.

"Easy baby. You'll have me soon enough. Be a good girl and cum for me frist" Michikatsu's fingers begin to move in faster cirlces and applying more pressure. "Cum for me and I'll give you this cock you've been so hungry for" Michikatsu said as his jaw clenched, feeling your wetness on his fingertips and your thobbing clit.

You've grown so sensitive from the pent-up sexual frustration that you were close already. His words alone were enough to push you over the edge. Just the thought of having your husband's cock inside you after so long drove you crazy and had you cumming in seconds. Michikatsu's fingers rubbed your clit faster until you were holding onto his muscular biceps and your mouth hung open with loud moans as you cum.

"That's it. You did so well, so proud of you. Ride it out on my fingers, baby." Michikatsu slowed down his finger motions until you calmed down from your orgasm and placed a sweet kiss on your cheek. Michikatsu quickly moved his hand away to hurry and unbuckle his belt and to free his hard cock from his pants, not being able to take his pants tightening around it anymore.

Once his cock was free, you saw it stand tall with its usual curve and looking even bigger then you last remembered. Michikatsu already had pre cum oozing from the tip and he grabbed his cock and smered his pre cum around on your pussy. He wasted no time, he watched you as he put his tip inside and then thrusting his hips forward to yours to get all of his cock balls deep inside you.

"Holy shit- fuck" Michikatsu let out a shaking, deeply moean once he was inside and gripped onto the back of your thighs tightly. He leaned forward, making his pelvis press down on yours. You cry out in the overalwhelming pleasure already, but Michikatsu kissed your lips. "Are you ok, my love?" He asked, refraining from thrusting his hips, but instead, he gives thigh thrusts, humping you softly and waiting until you're okay for him to move.

"Yeah~ keep goin'," you whined, and your head falls back onto the pillow. Your arms wrapped around Michikatsu's back and your nails digged into his dress shirt as he thrust his hips, moaning with each thrust from his big, curved cock hitting your gapot repeatedly. Michikatsu couldn't even wait to undress himself fully. He needed you now. He wanted to fuck you, he needed too.

"Come here," kokushibo muttered and leaned in for a sloppy, heated kiss. Hearing kokushibo's deep moans and his whimpers in the kiss and his tounge, French kissing with you made your pussy throb. Your pussy clenches down on his cock and Michikatsu slowed down his thrusts for a moment and pulled away from the kiss, having a thin line of Silvia connecting you two for the moment.

"I got too carried away and didn't realize how these clothes are restricting my moments," Michikatsu pulled down his pants and almost ripped off his dress shirt off his body. You admire his musclar physique and even caress your hand over his pecs. "Hold these for me, sweetheart. I'm going to fuck you harder" Michikatsu pushed your legs back and then grabbed your hands to put them on the back of your thighs.

He wanted you to hold your legs back for him and before you could fully processes anything eles, he had already put his cock back inside you and immediately, his thrusts were much faster and much more rough. You moan loudly, his skin was slapping against yours and you heard the sounds of your wet pussy every time Michikatsu's cock thrusted in and out of you.

"Oh listen to those sweet moans. Moan for me baby, scream for me. Let the neighbors here just how good I'm fucking my pretty, sexy wife. Fuucckk~ your pussy feels so good. So good~" Michikatsu's said as his moans slowly turned into whimpers from how good your pussy was making him feel. He brought a hand to your pussy and used his thumb to rub your clit while fucking you and his other hand gripping onto the couch cushion.

"Kokushibo! I'm gonna~ haa" you announced your close, you look down to see your slick coated on Michikatsu's cock and had your mouth hung open with loud moans. "Yeah? Cum. Now," he demanded, clenching his jaw and watching how your tits bounced with his powerful thrusts. "Let me feel it. Get me soaked in your cum" Michikatsu grunts, spitting out more of his dirty words at you while rubbing your clit faster and his heavy balls slapping against your hole.

He lets out a loud groan as he feels you clenched even tighter, almost not letting him go. You squirted, you whimpered, feeling your juices leak down your hole, and some even get on Michikatsu's thighs. "Yeah~ that's what I wanted." Michikatsu pushed your hands away from your thighs and held your legs back in a V shape, caging you in as he put you in a mating press position and pounds his cock inside.

"So close. Oh fuck baby, Gonna fill you up. Gonna, You. Up- fuck, fuck aaah!~" Michikatsu choked on a moan and whispered loudly as he slams into you, making his tip kiss your cervix as he releases his thick load inside you. There was a lot of his cum spilling inside. You catch your breath with Michikatsu and moaned as you feel some of his cum leak out, even with him still inside.

Michikatsu catches his breath, his musclar thighs even trembling after finally cumming and pulled out slowly. Kokushibo watched as you legs rest and he leaned down to give each of your knees a kiss. "I'll clean the mess up." He said and you both had a small laugh. Kokushibo grabbed some tissues to help clean you up down there so not so much of his cum would leak out as he picked you up and began to head upstairs.

"I could've walked up the stairs to take a bath, Michikatsu." You rest your head on his shoulder and have your arms wrapped around him. "Who said we were done?" Michikatsu asked, and you tensed up. He wasn't done? He wanted more? You looked at him for a moment and then saw him take you to the bedroom.

"I got us an off day tomorrow. So let's keep fucking until we pass out" kokushibo smirked and shut the door behind him.

[slutboybarbie]

Are you ever gonna write more about Chase Davenport? Its ok if you don't, I just love how you write for him <3

Hi sorry it took me so long !! Hopefully you like this one<3

Jealousy

Chase Davenport x Reader

18+

Warning/summary: dom chase, secret relationship, dumbification

~~~

Having Chase as your boyfriend and dom was amazing. He took care of you, made sure you were always happy, always knew what you needed, and made sure you were okay with everything the two of you did together.

His only "problem"- it wasn't even a problem, you loved it about him- is that he gets jealous. Pure, unbridled anger that arose in his chest at the sight of what he thinks is you with another.

So you, a person with a very flirty personality, plus a whole house full of sexy ass heroes? Not ideal.

For Chase at least.

He'd insisted on keeping your relationship private, not wanting to put too much pressure on the two of you. Even with your sneaking around, some of the team already knew.

Leo, Bree, and Sebastian(who'd been staying with y'all for a while now) were bionic humans and downright nosey for gods sake, not too much got by them, and Adam, poor Adam, just needs to learn how to knock before entering a room.

They'd cornered him one morning in the kitchen, commenting on the fresh hickey you'd just planted on his neck the night before.

"Oh my- Chase Davenport, is that a hickey?", Leo said, hand on his chest and imitating a voice that sounded a lot like Tasha.

Chase froze for a sec, his cheeks turning that beautiful shade of pink, before deciding to not respond, and keep on making his coffee.

"Jesus Christ, we're gonna have to start calling Y/N the human vacuum. Look at the size of that thing!", Bree had laughed out, causing the others to join in.

Chase froze for the second time that day, coffee mug still in hand and turned around to look at his friends like a deer caught in headlights, "You know?!"

They all just laughed more at his facial expression before he turned to Adam, "You. I knew you knew already. You told them?"

Adam's hands quickly came up in defense, "Don't look at me, I had no idea they knew."

Chase hated the fact that they knew because the once harmless flirting was now purposeful. You were unaware of the extra cheekiness but Chase definitely wasn't.

The way Leo would make sure to refer to you as "Doll" whenever speaking to you, causing you to giggle, the way Sebastian would sensually guide you through your training, a few more touches to the arms and hips than usual, Bree taking any chance she could to cuddle up with you in the common room, and Adam was unaware of the whole thing.

They loved seeing the interaction between the two of you as you tried to figure out what was wrong with your boyfriend, his jaw clenched and face a light red color.

Chase let it go, deciding that some flirting wasn't hurting anyone, and he knew it wasn't serious.

That didn't last long.

It happened at one of Davenport's parties. You'd only had two drinks but that's all you needed to gain some liquid courage, going out to the dance floor.

You were feeling a bit loose, dancing with your friends. When the song changed from up tempo, to something a bit more slow and sensual, so did your dancing.

You were currently in between Leo and Sebastian, neither of them touching you in respect for their friend and your boyfriend, but that was as clean as it got.

Chase watched from afar as you rolled your body in between the two men, as if you weren't taken. He knew he couldn't openly say anything, in fear of someone noticing.

But the more he watched, the less amount of fucks he gave. Setting his drink down from the bar, Chase rudely abandoned a one sided conversation some lady was having with him, lying to her when he said "I'll be right back."

He stormed onto the dance area, stepping in between you and his friends. Grabbing your arm he flashes Leo and Seb a fake smile, "Mind if I borrow Y/N real quick?", not even giving them a chance to respond, he drags you out of the room.

"Chase! What're you doing, I was having fun!", you stop in the middle of the hall, upset that he took you away.

The man in question allows you to stop, knowing he could just pull you along if he wanted to, but decided against it.

"I didn't know acting like a slut in public was considered 'fun' nowadays.", he says with a glare.

Fed up with his attitude, you respond, "Yeah well, things have changed. It's called the 21st century, gramps."

You're quickly pushed against the wall in the hallway, where anyone could come and see you. Chase separates your legs with his knee, placing it on your core, his hand finding it's place on your neck.

"Y'know, I was gonna wait until we got to the room to fuck some sense into you, but maybe I should just do it right here. I bet you'd like that. For everyone to be able to see how much a whore you are."

You whine at his words, trying to grind down onto his thigh.

"I fuckin' knew it.", he laughs darkly, releasing your neck and stepping away from you, causing you to stumble from the wall. "Too bad I don't like sharing."

He makes his way to the elevator, leaving you to mindlessly trail behind him like a very horny puppy.

You thought for sure he'd make a move on you in the elevator, the short amount of privacy enough time for him to have you up against a wall, wet and begging, but he did nothing.

The elevator door opened and you wordlessly followed him to his room, he allowed you to walk in first, not even attempting to swat at your ass like he usually does.

Walking into the room, you turn when you hear the door close, fearful of your boyfriends sudden quietness. "Baby-"

"Quiet.", he cuts you off.

"But-"

"Sweetheart if I have to repeat myself, the night will be much worse for you than I already have planned."

His low tone and threatening words convince you to obey him, watching as he stops at your dresser, loosening his tie.

You have no choice but to stand there as he unbuttons his shirt, slowly, practically teasing you. His toned abs peek through and you feel your mouth start to salivate at the sight. Chase looks up and a dark chuckle escapes his mouth at the look on your face.

"See something you like?"

It's a rhetorical question because he knows how much you love his body, and he knows it's killing you to not touch him right now.

He strips down to his boxers, the room completely silent except for the pounding of your heartbeat. Chase walks over to the bed, getting himself comfortable with his hands behind his head, propping him up.

"Your turn." He tells you.

You quickly began to undress, and Chase tsks, "Slower. I want a show."

Obeying him you start to go a bit slower, feeling small under his intense stare.

Once you're completely stripped, he signals for you to come to him on the bed.

~~~

"Cmon baby, don't go dumb on me just yet."

Chase's request falls on deaf ears with you too focused on your impending orgasm. You'd lost count of how many you'd given him tonight, your brain too clouded to keep count of anything at the moment.

"Ohh, you're already there hm?"

Your partner uses his big hands, cradling your neck and face to get your attention on him. His hips continue to slap into yours, jolting you with every thrust.

He has your feet by your ears, body pressed to yours so closely that it's nearly intoxicating.

"Just can't help yourself, can you?", Chase taunted. He ghosts his lips over yours, teasing you even further.

You mumble out a "please" when he does it again, and Chase gives in.

He applies more pressure to your throat when he deepens the kiss, causing you to clench around him. He moans into your mouth, a whimper-like groan escaping him.

"You're mine, y'know that?" He asks and you nod.

“Yeah? But you don’t act like it.” Chase says bitterly

He’s referring to your little dance and you can tell just how mad it made him with the way his thrusts pick up.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry.” You plead with him.

“Aww now that’s sweet.” He chuckles out.

“I am!” You insure. “But, I can’t cum again. I just can’t.” You knew your safe words. If you truly wanted him to stop, he would.

“Maybe if you were good, I’d be more sympathetic but since you weren’t, I’m not stopping.”

[0bees-knees0]

(One sided! Satan x Gn!Mc/reader)

Also small A/N( I'll probably have another at the end lmao 😭) this MC is a reader and the whole little fic sort of pertains to that. You can still read this even if that's not your forte ofc, but I thought I would leave a note bc some ppl don't wanna read about an Mc that's nothing like them 😅. Also Mc in this fic does NOT crack the spine of their books.(This is relevant I promise) And personally I don't either but to each their own.

Where Satan casually walks into the library at RAD, and sees you the book that you're reading and he is just completely obsessed with the sight, forgetting all about his original reason for entering the library in the first place. It looks so interesting you look so interesting. He sits and watches your facial expressions to see what you think of it. You notice him after some time, how could you not I mean he's literally just staring at you, and when you do realize that he isn't spaced out or anything you decide to see what was up.

"...Satan?"

"...yes Mc?"

"i-is there a reason that your staring at me so aggressively? Did I do something to annoy you?"

What?! The look on his face in that moment was absolutely unreadable. He was so red. He had been caught staring at you for crying out loud! But he also looked kinda shocked or offended. How in the world could you possibly think you could do anything to annoy him?! (It definitely isnt like he has a serious case of rbf or anything!) He was appalled, though he tried his best to hide it.

"what?! I-i...um no. I was just... interested in the book you were reading. I didn't want to interrupt however so I just...kinda stood here."

Yes! That was it! That was most definitely why he was there, no particular fascinating human or anything, and he had to make sure you knew that this was his only reason. Nothing else! Goodness, when did you start becoming so important to him that he was out here stuttering up excuses, becoming all red and shy, just from being around you? He didn't know but what he did know was that his sorry excuse for an explanation did seem to take hold in your mind and that was all that mattered.

"oh the book! It's actually one of my favorites...I've probably read it more times than I can count! Do you wanna read it? I can lend it to you for a few days."

Wow. Your book. Your favorite book, so good that you've read it countless amounts of times, and you're going to lend it to him?? He was ecstatic.

"...yes that would be good. I want to know if it's actually worth reading as many times as you say it is."

Of course he couldn't tell you or show you how ecstatic he was, that would blow his cover. If it wasn't blown already thanks to the recent display of events.

Oh how he wished he could just tell you how he felt for you. Really, there was nothing stopping him, just himself and his thoughts, his fears. Maybe he might do something cheesy like write his opinion on the book, as well as an invitation to hang out together(if you could call this hanging out) again like a date like how you were now. Yes maybe, he'll even write his feelings to you right then and there on the paper, in his pretty handwriting it has to be pretty for you, and then fold it and put it in the back of the book.

"it really is that good, I think you'll really like it Satan, here just bring it back to me in like...three days? Is that enough time?"

He's so happy he might burst. So he just nods to keep his cool. He is going to learn so much about you, and you might talk to him even more than you already have just because of this book. you place the book in his hands that he is willing to stop shaking and tell him that you have somewhere to be.

Three days come and go. He read the entire book on the night you gave it to him, and did research on everything involving the book the next day. The book itself was pretty good, though he really wanted to know why it was your favorite. He thinks there is probably some reason in your mind that he can't read on a page that will help him understand, but in order to get that he'd have to actually ask you. He spends the last day trying to decide whether he should write the letter or not. He decided no, that if he really wants to go on a date hang out with you, then he should ask you in person. He didn't want you to think he was a coward.

He shows up at your door a few hours after school, book in hand. You open the door and happily invite him in. He hands you the book and immediately starts talking about it and telling you his opinion, in hopes that maybe you would talk to him about your thoughts as well. Normally you would have, so happy to have someone to discuss your favorite book with, except this time is different. Something is off and Satan can tell, though he doesn't know what.

"hey Satan?"

" yes Mc"

"can I ask you a question?"

A question? Of course, you can ask him anything! And he tells you as much.

"why did you break the spine of the book? It's my only copy and well...it's not that big of a deal I guess, and it does make it easier to read I suppose..."

You keep talking, trying to justify his actions but all he can think about is what you just said. He can't believe it! He always breaks the spines in all of his books before he reads them. He didn't think of anything different, doing the same to yours. He was trying so hard to be considerate and careful with the book, even keeping the bookmark you left in there in its place, careful not to dog ear any pages(another bad habit of his).

He's so upset with himself. You're never going to let him borrow anything from you ever again. How long will you hate him for? He wasn't sure but he was ready to suffer in silence for his actions despite how upset it will leave him, and he will probably never talk to any-

"Satan?" You call for him for the 5th time, trying to regain his attention.

"...h-how long are you going to hate me for?" He asks the question before he can think rationally about it. You seem to have that effect on him.

However, when you burst into laughter he is confused.

"hate you? Satan it's just a book!" You say through your laughing spells.

"but it's your favorite..."

"I can just get another one, in fact I was thinking of going to the bookstore anyways."

"then let me come with you and pay for it! As an apology for ruining your first one." You smile and nod and he swears his stomach could qualify for the Olympics the way it's flipping and turning. You tell him to meet you outside of the HoL in 30 minutes and he gets there 10 minutes early (not that he'd ever tell you that) and when you meet him you smile and wave. He tries so hard not to look behind him to see who you're waving at, not fully trusting that it's him.

"You know, I've never really been to this bookstore before, so you'll have to show me around." You say to him as you both walk in the bookstore in front of you. As it turned out for Satan, he didn't even have to ask you on a date to hang out again, because here you are now. One of his favorite places, getting to talk about one of his favorite things, with one of his favorite people. He had to try so hard to keep his cool.

You both ended up getting a few books, and obviously when you got to the checkout you weren't allowed to pay a grim. Although you didn't mind paying, you also didn't protest(free books am I right?) and as you're walking back you guys talk about the books you got. When you find yourself at the door to your room that Satan had walked you back to(like the true gentleman he is) you say your goodbyes.

"this was super fun Satan. I really appreciate it! We really should hang out more, I like the way you think about things, and I also like your taste in books."

And he thinks that if he were killed right then, he would be okay with that. You tell him that there is a movie to the book you let him borrow, and ask him if he would want to watch it with you one day. And once again he is reeling.

"Uh...yeah I mean, I guess I could possibly find the time for that. I'll need you to tell me when though so I can check my schedule" he absolutely has nothing to do and if he does he will reschedule it for as long as he needs to if it means another date hanging out with you again. He says his goodbyes and heads back to his room.

He thinks to himself that he would love to read another one of the books that you like or continue the discussion from the last time.

As long as he doesn't break the spine again of course.

A/N: hey guys had this in the drafts for a good zillion years but I finally decided to get it done yay! I hope you enjoy even though it's one sided lmao. I didn't say earlier but this is set in like the first few weeks or so once mc gets to the devildom so they're not great friends with everyone yet. Also was thinking about making a pt.2 where Satan confesses but idk if anyone would be interested 😭 if I did it would probably be another eon or two before I publish it 😅😅😅 but please give me your thoughts, as this is one of the first really big things I've wrote on this acc. Anyway that's all I think thanks for reading!!

[violetszone]

Headphone Game

Charles x fem!reader

Summary: You and Charles wanted a baby for a while, when you went to the doctor's checkup, you found out that you are pregnant and you decided to tell him with a game.

WARNINGS: Bad English (a little google translate,not edited writing),fluff

It had been almost a week since  you found out you are pregnant, which meant that the baby was now 6 weeks

You still didn't tell anything to Charles you were trying to act as normal as possible but it was very difficult since you have a partner who knows you very well.

For example, when he realized that you didn't drink wine for dinner for the first few days, he understood that there was something wrong with you, and you even developed it by saying "I'm doing an alcohol detox for a while," and Charles didn't believe it, but just approved.

it was a bit difficult but you somehow managed to hide it, today you were going to explain it to him with the help of Ferrari yes it's crazy and it's unclear how he will react but you would rather do it with the whole Ferrari than do it alone.

In short, one of the managers will call you and Charles on the pretext of a video and play a headset game and you will tell him that you are pregnant sometime during the game. At first, it seemed like an easy and quick solution, well at least it made sense until you got in the car with Charles started to go to the place where the video was shot.

When you arrived, Charles went ahead and talked to everyone and learned about the video, and you were fighting a panic attack at the time.Everything was ready, you took your places in front of the camera and Charles opened the video, yes the fake video.

When you started the game, he told you first and you tried to know, 6 out of 10 was a good number, and you felt more comfortable now. It was his turn and you could see the expectation on everyone's face after 3 normal word  you decided to say it

You said "I'm pregnant" and you repeated it because he didn't understand "He doesn't understand, I'll tell you another way, you're going to be a dad Charles"

He frowned and looked "YN I don't understand why I'm death what?" You shook your head and made a gesture as if to say no.

You pointed your lips and said read it,first you spelled the word then you said you're going to be a dad then repeated then he looked at you for a second and then turned to look at the camera took off his earphones "if this is some kind of joke i'll get hurt"

"No honey I'm pregnant 6 weeks" you took the ultrasound out of your back pocket and gave it you couldn't decipher his facial expression he stood up looking at the ultrasound and you stood up with him

"Charles I-" before you could finish  your sentence, he hugged you and shouted "I'm going to be a father, do you hear I'm going to be a father, we're going to have a baby ah YN this is so special, god thank you"

You hugged tight and everyone there was applauding and congratulating you. when you got home he asked why you didn't tell him sooner and you explained everything one by one You were both happy and now that Charles knows, you didn't have to worry about the video you took, it was up to you, you would probably publish it in a few months, of course, it was your decision.

TAG LIST

@octaviareina

[cain-speaks]

LMK Season 5 Animation Analysis

basically just me rambling about how i feel about the animation. i'm not going to talk about plot but i tagged spoilers just in case :3

First, to put it bluntly:

No, I do not like the look of season 5. The movement of the characters is regularly stiff and slow, the character proportions are odd, lines are oddly angled instead of smooth (like the monkey tails), you can tell they're still adjusting to how LMK does character lighting, and it's not as flashy and fun in my opinion. I think some of the sound design was a little weird this season, too (in EP3, Wukong busting a giant hole in the wall makes like no noise? Just seems weird to me). The space cracks are oddly... solid, if that makes sense? In season 4 they appeared much more delicate, while in this season they're, in a way, heavy? Also, this is certainly a personal irk, but the blended style for the tears? Not a fan. I could be misremembering, but Flying Bark made them crisp.

Having said that, it's not nearly as bad as I (and others, I imagine) thought it would have looked, judging from the trailer. Part of this is probably because they reused a lot of animation from previous seasons; which, by the way, isn't bad, it saves time and I'm sure it's a lifesaver while they're learning. It's just... obvious. Very obvious, especially because you can tell they did it more this season than Flying Bark did.

I've watched some clips from Carmen Sandiego because I think it's one of Wild Brain's most recent shows, and I think you can see the similarities. I didn't watch a lot, but it seems to me that characters are less expressive with their body language and more stagnant. They also don't seem to be super facially expressive to me, but like I said, I didn't watch a lot. Now, Carmen is a beautifully animated show! But it's different. And different's not bad, it's just... hard. Unsatisfying and disappointing, currently. Flying Bark's style, in my opinion, had the characters constantly moving. Whether it was a tail twitching, a position shift, a little expression in the background, they were moving. And they moved fluently and quickly. It really made the characters feel alive. I THINK it's also a different between puppet animation and frame-by-frame animation but don't quote me on that.

ANYWAY all of that is to say that yes, there are visible differences and they're upsetting. I hold LMK very near and dear to my heart as I'm sure many of us do, so as thrilled as I am to have season 5, it does hurt a bit.

HOWEVER.

Wild Brain isn't responsible for that. Flying Bark had a learning curve just in season 1 vs season 2. We have to give the new studio TIME to grow and adapt to the style. It's really unfortunate because now we have what feels like a very crudely animated season that I just know would have been better with the style we all know and love, but hopefully there will be more seasons, they'll get better, and we'll realize that this is just a blip in our hopefully long lives.

And to the neurodivergents: you are valid, we are valid. God knows I loathe change. I was really hoping the studio change was just a misunderstanding, but unfortunately it's not. LMK's visual aspect is important. If you decide to leave the show behind, that's okay! If you don't, welcome to the ship I'm trying to keep afloat!

Back to everybody now. Your decision is yours; don't let others make you feel bad about leaving or sticking with the show and most DEFINITELY do not lash out at the studio, because istg if the show gets cancelled from backlash I'll jump off a bridge (/dramatic).

Anyway idk if this is really an analysis. But it's something! Less than 4 days for the english dub, whoop whoop!

[archiveikemen]

'Doting Love Holic' Collection Event

William Rex

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

read this before interacting with my posts

thank you @otomefiend for providing the story because i couldn't get it in time 🤭

// I'm having some problems with attaching photos, so I'll add them later. //

-

Roger: That’s unfortunate, the young lady lost.

Kate: Ugh…

Alfons: You need more practice with poker, Kate.

I sighed in exasperation with poker cards in hand.

Roger and Alfons invited me to play poker with them after dinner, and I lost three rounds consecutively.

Kate: I’m just unlucky… next time I’ll…

Alfons: Fufu, you don’t need luck for poker.

Alfons: Once you reach the point in the game where your win or loss is to be decided, as long as you have a strong enough attitude that makes your opponent feel hopeless, you’ll win.

William: What was the bet?

Kate: Will…!

I instinctively straightened my back when I heard the voice that would always make my body temperature rise, and saw my lover standing there dressed in a casual shirt.

Kate: … Did you bathe?

William: Yeah. … Fufu, this is a bad hand of cards.

William: At times like this, you must know whether it’s a win or loss.

Will rested his hand on my chair and looked over my shoulder at the cards in my hand.

Kate: …

The faint smell of Will’s skin tickled my nose, making my heart race.

(Will fresh out of the bath… not good for my heart.)

Roger: Unfortunately, we didn’t bet on anything.

William: Hmm, that’s rare. Playing a game without a prize.

A drop of water fell from the edge of Will’s silver hair onto his neck and trickled down onto his collarbone.

As if invited to, my gaze couldn't help but follow the droplet…

Alfons: That’s a very perverted gaze, Kate.

Kate: Huh?

William: Hm?

The moment my eyes met Will’s, the tips of my ears instantly turned hot.

(I- I…)

(W- Was it so obvious that even the people around me noticed…!?)

I was embarrassed to the core, hurriedly shaking my head in denial.

Kate: Absolutely not, I certainly did not have such a look in my eyes…!

Thanks to being led on by Alfons’, the strange excuse I blurted out made my face turn even redder and hotter.

William: Hmm? 😏

Will placed his hand on the backrest of my chair and narrowed his eyes cheekily.

William: I don’t mind you looking at me with an obscene gaze.

Kate: Huh…

William: Am I mistaken? That’s too bad.

My mind turned blank.

My face was getting hotter and hotter, but I couldn't say a word.

Will gazed lovingly at me as I was at a loss for words, and then smiled.

William: … Actually, I think that what my little robin needs to learn more is how to keep a poker face.

William: So that she won’t show this lovely facial expression on the outside.

Kate: Nn…?

When I snapped back to my senses, my lips were stolen in a kiss.

Before I could even feel surprised, his tongue slipped into my mouth and our tongues tangled together.

Alfons: My, my.

Roger: You’re showing off.

(Doing this in front of the two of them…)

I hurriedly tried to pull away, but my face was caught between two hands.

(Will…?)

Kate: Nn… mmph…

The forceful yet sweet enough to make me drown in pleasure kiss threw my emotions into disarray.

(Why is he doing this…)

(... Could it be—)

A few days ago, Will and I watched a play together.

In order to prevent his lover from attracting other men, one of the characters drowned her in endless love.

And it led to an intense and passionate scene.

At that moment, really, at only that very moment… I thought about what if Will did that to me—

That thought caused a sweet aching in my heart.

(Back then… did he notice…?)

Will’s eyes opened slightly, as if he had heard what was in my mind. And he smiled bewitchingly as our lips met again.

Kate: Nn… nn…

(This is so embarrassing, I’m going crazy.)

(Still…)

(... What should I do… I’m so happy.)

His sweet kiss and gaze gradually melted away all the rationality left in me.

Will eventually let go of me and slowly traced my lips with his thumb.

Kate: … Haa…

A sweet sigh escaped my lips, and my shame returned.

(Oh no, I… I got too absorbed in the kiss—)

My face was so hot that I couldn't bring myself to look up, I didn't want to see the looks on Alfons and Roger’s faces at all.

William: Pardon my interruption in the middle of your game.

William: While I’m interrupting, can I steal her away?

Alfons: … I have yet to reach the level of foolishness that I’d say no after witnessing such a loving gesture between the two of you.

Roger: I fold (surrender) too.

William: That’s wonderful. Let’s go, Kate.

…

Kate: Will…

William: … Hm?

I was full of lust for Will, even the people around me could see that.

My body melted and turned limp under his caresses.

Kate: That kiss just now… was it for my sake?

I asked in between ragged breaths, and Will remained silent like he was in no rush to answer.

He patted my head affectionately and slowly answered.

William: … That’s right. It was half to satisfy your desires.

(Half…)

(The ones kissing were Will and myself.)

(If it was half for me, then the other half is for—)

My heart ached with anticipation at the thought of getting something “special”.

Kate: And the other half…?

Will narrowed his eyes, seemingly having seen through my anticipation, and spoke slowly.

William: … You’re irresistibly attractive when you're absorbed in a game, and when your emotions change between being happy and upset.

William: That itself is could be a prize for a game.

Kate: Nn…

My head went numb when he teasingly traced his fingers across my body, testing the waters.

William: Therefore… I made a move in order to prevent them from being attracted to you.

William: Just keeping things in control a little.

(...)

It wasn't only to satisfy my desires.

The kiss also contained Will’s desires.

That was enough to suffocate me with happiness.

Kate: … I’m so happy, Will.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

Like a reward, Will touched my sensitive spot with his impatient fingers.

Kate: Ahh, Will…

William: … Mm, also

Wiliam: I loved the way you lusted over me.

William: I only wanted to kiss you.

His words were sweeter than honey.

He planted kisses on my cheek, temple, and ear.

My head was overflowing with so much happiness, it felt like I was drunk on it.

Kate: Will… I…

William: … Hm?

Kate: If it’ll make you kiss me like that…

Kate: I think it's fine even if I never learn how to maintain a poker face…

William: … (surprised)

William: … Pfft, ahaha!

I muttered while feeling lightheaded from the amount of bliss I felt, and Will burst into laughter…

William: I also love how you look when you're following your desires.

He once again pressed his shapely lips against mine in a deep kiss.

This time, the kiss was not meant for anyone else to see—

It was filled with an addictive love.

[lesbian-disaster-academic]

Since there's been some discussion of this on a prior post I made, let's address

Neurodivergent Skill-Regression: What is it & Why Does it Happen?

Content Warning! This post will make brief mention of various topics, including: childhood abuse (not explicit), depression, suicidal ideation, car accidents, the COVID-19 pandemic, and throwing up.

Okay, let's begin with a quick preface. I'm writing from the Global North, in a capitalist economy, and in a country founded on (ongoing!) systems of colonialism. Therefore, that's how I'll be situating this discussion (just because it's what I know best). Neurodivergence and Capitalist Exploitation Under capitalism, productivity and extraction in the name of profit become of the utmost importance. Extraction can take place in the form of extracting physical resources (think fracking on Turtle Island), extracting labour, etc. Ultimately, neurodivergence itself is not an ill-formed or "bad" mind. It is only conceptualized and coded as such because capitalism and various other interlocking systems of oppression are actively hostile to minds that, in some way, subvert capitalist and colonial ideals. (however, this is not to negate, invalidate, or trivialize the fact that adhd/asd/ocd/bpd/etc. are disabilities. by their very nature, they impede and disrupt functioning. what is considered "functional", however, is determined by this capitalist/colonialist state and the things it values. this is all simply to say that we would be able to more easily exist and thrive within a society that doesn't reward self-destruction in the name of accumulating capital for the upper class) Of course, living in a system that is not built for you is going to be exhausting—it takes a toll on you, both physically and mentally. This can be further compounded if you are marginalized in other ways; for instance, if you're a person of colour, working class, a woman, 2SLGBTQ+, an immigrant, or a combination of these.

Masking and Burnout Many neurodivergent folx are forced into positions in which they have to mask. For the sake of clarity, "masking", in this case, involves concealing one's neurodivergent traits. For me, that might look like suppressing compulsions, consciously regulating my facial expressions, working longer and harder to accomplish tasks because I can't focus, or scripting conversations before I have them. These manifestations are often invisible to outsiders, but they take a heavy toll on us, and can often result in neurodivergent burnout. This is where the skill-regression comes in. An Example... Let me give you a personal example of what neurodivergent skill-regression can look like! Prior to the pandemic, I was a highly productive person. I was designated "gifted" (whatever that means) and was top of my class in every single class. I was participating in (and running) multiple clubs, working a steady job, volunteering within the community, and learning new instruments and languages. I was a skilled pianist and painter, and also very athletic. From the outside looking in, I appeared successful: I had a massive scholarship lined up at the most prestigious university in the country. I was generally well-liked. I was creative and skilled in both the humanities and STEM (mostly humanities lol), etcetera etcetera. But I was in no way okay. I was incredibly depressed and suicidal. I had multiple undiagnosed anxiety disorders and neurodivergencies. I was experiencing relentless abuse at home. I was throwing up every few days out of pure fear and stress. I was constantly sick, crying (in secret, and then later too numb to cry), overwhelmed, exhausted, and apathetic. And yet I refused to stop pushing my body and mind to their limit because I had this ingrained belief surrounding my productivity—if I slowed down, would I be worth anything? At the time, to my mind, the answer was a staunch no (even though I didn't apply this thinking to anyone but myself lol). So I repressed everything. I pushed it all to the side and kept moving forward. To put it in perspective, I got hit by a truck at one point, but I was so scared of being late to a thing and disappointing my parents that I just apologized and kept going. This kind of behaviour went on for close to a decade. And then the pandemic hit. And I was forced to stop. I was made to (by virtue of my relative privilege) take a moment to sit down, look around, and actually feel things. And it hit me like a ton of bricks: All the weight of the anger and fear and everything that I had been repressing for the sake of survival came RUSHING in. Now? You want to know what I'm like now? I am very burnt out and incredibly unproductive. I have the attention span of a gnat. Where I used to be able push through exhaustion or else tamp it down with consistently high levels of adrenaline, I now almost ALWAYS feel tired, to the point where I have to lay down. I used to be able to toss together an essay in the span of a couple hours. And, yes, while I can still put an essay together quickly, it’s not going to necessarily be good. Likewise, where I used to be able to mask my neurodivergent traits, I'm now hyperaware of how exhausting it all is, which makes it more difficult to appear neurotypical in public.

The thing is, when you have something like adhd as well as an anxiety disorder, the anxiety can pretty effectively mask the adhd. But once I started medication and more intense therapy, I got a hold on my anxiety and alllll of my coping mechanisms fell away. I no longer had that constant, vibrating fear to force me to maintain attention, and push myself to the breaking point.

It’s like not aging for 80 years and then suddenly having decades collapse into you in the span of moments. So Where Does This Leave Us? Okay, that was a loooong tangent, sorry. Returning to the original point. As the infinitely cool and talented @revenantscholar mentioned in a previous post of mine, when you exist in an unsafe environment (or one which is generally not built with you in mind), it's difficult to hold onto the skills you once had. Your body goes into survival mode and prioritizes keeping you alive. Once you have returned to a space where you can unmask and be physically/emotionally/mentally SAFE, you have the capacity to relearn some of those skills. Not all of them, necessarily, and not all at once. But these things do return—and even if they don't (listen to me, this is important), that doesn't make you stupid/bad/worthless. You are living in a world that is not built for people like you and I, and it sucks, and it's painful and scary, and we will continue to fight for a better future. In the meantime, it's important to remember that you are worthy of care, compassion, empathy, and support regardless of what you can contribute/do. You are incredibly important and I'm so glad you're here. (Thank you for listening. I'm drawing on my human rights knowledge from my degree, and also my own personal experience. However, feel free to correct me or ask any questions you might have! I'm also happy to provide resources/citations if needed. Now go drink water and rest if you need to! Ily!)

[akosijayjay]

January and February dump

This is my most recent work of Lloyd, and my most recent work in general. I made this in the computer room at school with a painful high-sensitive mouse. We have these special course thing in our junior high, so every tuesday after class, I get to be in the computer room. For six hours... (My course is Visual Graphics Design. I'm kinda regretting it now since I've been thinking of becoming an architect... I can't change my course now since it's too late. Which is stupid.)

I'll try to draw more there! I really like drawing with a mouse cause I like the challenge. And since I'm not accustomed to a high-sensitive mouse, it'll be a bigger challenge for me!

I made these two in traditional then polished them digitally since I straight up just used a pen. I rarely use a pencil nowadays so I can learn to fix mistakes without erasing it. Usually it ends up looking like chicken scratch but I'm getting better.

My Harumi one is so bad lol.. When I was making it, my classmates around me were messing around and moving the chairs in the process, making me have to draw strokes with shaky lines. It's not that noticeable though since I made the lines thicker.

I was planning to make something for Rebooted's anniversary but I got busy... (And lazy) The PIXAL one was inspired by an animatic I saw.

If you compare the previous Arin portrait, yes, they don't look the same. I'm trying to find a look for Arin, as I do with every character, that I'll be satisfied with.

By the way, I'm kind of basing Arin's hair with my classmate's hair. Which is funny because my other classmates compared this artwork to my classmate, who looked nothing like Arin but have similar hair, commenting they're the same. (I'm not mad because I actually find this a bit humorous)

I was trying to make an animatic and this was going to be the sketch. But then again, I got busy and lazy. (Mostly lazy)

I accidentally changed their facial features a bit by accident on the second page because I forgot to reference the first page. It was tiring flipping pages every 5 seconds, ok! Also, I drew it after 2 days when I drew the first page, and I didn't have a design I liked for them yet. (...I just noticed Jay has different eye colors in both pages...)

I think I'm sticking to these looks for Lloyd. I'll try to make it accurate to this. (I think I did great with the first image of this post. Though, I made him too round for my liking.)

Discard the growing beard post redesign Lloyd has. That beard thing was supposed to be where his chin was until I realized it was too small. And it's still too small.

Child Lloyd is so cute! The eyeshadow wasn't intentional at first, but then it got me thinking, what if Lloyd had an emo phase? And now emo child Lloyd is my headcanon.

Pre redesign Lloyd kind of reminds me of TommyInnit, and I find it quite funny. Maybe it's the facial gesture, I know a lot of TommyInnit fanarts with that silly face.

For Dragons Rising Lloyd however, I want him to have long hair with his post redesign face. I'll try to make full body designs of the 4 Lloyds.

You guys probably don't care, and this is the first time you've seen me because I don't have an exact artstyle and I dont post as much, but I'm going to put descriptions now since this blog is going to be a silly little art dump! And blog posts are supposed to be descriptive. Which I should've done in the beginning and explained my works..

Anyhow

If you liked my art, thank you!

If you saw me before and told me I did well, thank you and I'm sorry!! I know my previous posts have gotten comments and I'm sorry I didn't respond.. I'm not trying to be ungrateful, I just don't know how to express my appreciation for your positive feedback! Or just reply in general... I get nervous even when I'm wearing my mask..

Please don't hate me, I'm just really anxious to show my work to people I don't know to the point where I might think people disliked my artwork when it's the opposite..

(I'll probably copy paste this in future posts now lol. But I AM thankful that some of you guys think my works are great!)

[pinkdaisies9285]

Flyboy and the Florist-4

Bob Floyd x F!Reader

Warnings: None, Fluff

Word Count: 354

Author's Note: Yay! We finally get to know reader's callsign/nickname! This one is a little short but I'll make it up in the next part hopefully. Enjoy 💜

“So baby on board, I heard you got yourself a date soon?” Jake casually asked Bob while aiming his cue to land a ball in a pocket. Jake had been curious about the whole thing concerning the quiet WSO. He had heard the whispers from Nat and Bradley that Bob had scored himself a date with a Flora. Who was Flora? He wasn’t sure but she got Bob tied up in knots. Enough so that Bob was leaving as soon as possible at the end of each day. Always in a hurry to get to his truck before anyone else. Before anyone could ask Bob where he was going.

“I do. Why?” The question made Bob hesitant to let Jake know any more information. He wanted to try to keep his date as private as he could. He wanted it to be perfect. Or at least as perfect as it can go. 

“Just surprised that’s all Bobby boy,” Jake replied. He was still stunned that the man had scored himself a date with a woman Bradley had described as “out of Bob’s league.”

This made Bob frown. Jake’s facial expression made Bob irritated but he didn’t want to ruminate on it too long. Jake was just being Jake. “Also, where did you get the name Flora?”

“It’s what I decided to call her after seeing her among all those flowers,” Bradley piped up while coming over with more beers in his hands. “And it kinda stuck when talking about her with Nat.” 

“Oh,” Bob was confused as to why Bradley and Natasha were talking about her but he pondered the idea of the nickname of Flora. Why he didn’t think of it first he wasn’t sure. Yet, he liked it. The nickname felt like it fit her. She was always surrounded by flowers and they added to her beauty. Flowers that he bought every time he attempted to ask her out. Flowers that have had hidden meanings to them he will soon learn. Flowers that she puts so much care into. Flowers that brought him and her together. Flowers.

His flower. 

His Flora. 

“I like it.”

Tag List: @tgmavericklover @jessicab1991 @havlindzk @tgmreader @charactersimp08 @just-in-case-iloveyou @theamuz @attapullman @seresinhangmanjake @nerdgirljen @bobgasm @muddwheelz123 @3tabbiesandalab

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Divider Credit @cafekitsune

[reotheworld]

I loved the isagi with kaiser's sis‼️may I ask what if kaiser caught both of them getting a little too close(may you add some Ness relationship with the reader too?)

let's keep it a secret to him

❝ my heart is already with yours ❞

➜ getting caught by your older brother

➜ fem!reader

sugar level: 0% & 70% | possible continuation of this shot ; slight angst but a good ending

when kaiser was scheduled for an interview, he received a question from the host.

"if you could pick a member from your team to date your younger sister, who would it be?"

upon hearing the question, kaiser made an initial facial reaction that had not only the host but the staffs rolling in laughter at the face he made. as he puts his jokes aside, he finally opened his mouth to speak into the microphone.

"it would be ness" he replies along with a nod of his head.

"ah! germany's midfielder!" the host spoke, blinking eyes twice. "now i'm curious, why ness out of all your other team members?"

"he's a well mannered individual who always has a smiling demeanor. behind camera's, ness and y/n gets along very well. so i approve the relationship if they date." kaiser responded.

click!

isagi tosses his phone and lays down on his bed nonchalantly, emitting a sigh from his lips.

sure ness has the visuals and say the personality (in which he tried hard not to gag at this) that could make any guy or girl swoon, no doubt that bastard münchen's midfielder could make a girl like y/n kaiser swoon.

he's a professional player for one of europe's best teams, takes home how much money after a game, has hundreds and thousands of people cheering his name in a large stadium; the guy is practically swimming in fame and fortune.

but what about me? isagi thinks, closing his eyes to shut the blinding lights.

"hello? hellooooo?"

he's still making a name for himself not only in japan, but to the rest of the world as well. would someone like him make y/n turn her head to look at him? even if he isn't a professional player, doesn't take home how much money after a game and probably has people doubting his play style?

a girl like y/n would never in a million years turn her head to look at him. if all of them gathered in one field, she'd probably put her attention to notable players...let's say, like ness.

"isagi? helloooo?"

yeah. ness seems like a much better option for her. it's probably time to give up considering pursuing her. give up making kaiser listen to him and say he's the much better option for his sister.

"isagi!"

jolting his eyes wide open as someone calls out his name, isagi now finds the position he is in...weird.

"what were you thinking that you couldn't hear me?" he sees y/n pouting, straddling on top of his waist. "what were you thinking so deeply?" she asks again before the worried facial expression turns into a shocked one.

"i didn't realized you were probably trying to get some sleep!" she says, kneeling up from his waist. "oh well, good night-"

"no, stay." isagi spoke, placing his hands on her waist as he drags her to sit back down. in which y/n blushes at his touch.

"you wanted to know what i was thinking right?" isagi begins to say, eyes trained on hers. "here's what i was thinking. maybe we should stop meeting like this. meeting in secret is stupid. your brother's right, maybe ness is the perfect guy for you. he obviously can provide for you, i'm just a nobody."

"think smart, y/n." he says. "choose him, choose ness." he finishes, extending his hand out to you.

"i'd like to take the other piece of earbud back." he demands.

the earbuds is the only and sole reason why you two understand each other without trying so hard. unbeknownst to isagi, y/n continued learning japanese so one day, she could surprise him.

isagi's eyes widens once more as y/n takes a hold of his hands, pinning them besides his head.

"don't talk like that." he hears y/n say, a serious yet soft expression on her face. "why make me turn on you and choose someone i don't like? i choose you, isagi. and i'll always choose you." y/n says.

"i like you precisely because you continue to strive and improve everyday. i've never liked a person more than you, isagi. back then, i only come here to support my older brother, but now that i get to be this close you, that's all i need. if we could be like this forever, i'll never ask for more."

her words. her words hit home. her words that crept into his heart.

just as y/n is about to lean down and isagi closing his eyes, the two teenagers heard another voice speak to them.

"ahem"

turning their heads to the direction of the voice, it was kaiser, looking at them while leaning by the doorway.

[chronicbeans]

Hi! Since I saw the illustrator wally series I've been exited to request this, it was also sad to see how nobody has yet come with this idea or at least I haven't seen anyone else bring this up so here I come!

It will be interesting how It would work a relationship between Human wally and reader who has maladaptive daydreaming along with autism, I thought of how would it be to meet someone who has to experience something familiar with you. ( since maladaptive daydreaming can be described as a variant of schizophrenia with some small differences ) anyways, I'm a desperate for representation-

ET TU, BRUTE? Omg I maladaptive daydream too (if I am reading it right and you mean to say that you do IT-). My therapist says that I am like, addicted to it lol. My family counselor also likened my case more towards depersonalization/dissociation/a variant of DID due to me only daydreaming myself as other people. This is actually the first time I have heard of it being described as a variant of schizophrenia, but it actually makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it! I need more representation too, so let's do this! I'll try to make it as broad as possible, because everyone daydreams about different things!

Illustrator Wally with an Autistic Reader who Maladaptive Daydreams:

TW: Mentions of Hallucinations, Maladaptive Daydreaming

🖍️ He is a bit confused when he sees you pacing around your living room. He is visiting, and decided to try to surprise you by sneaking up behind you and giving you a gift! Now, though, he is a bit enamored by how you are prancing around, muttering little things to yourself as you seem so carefree and happy in your little world. This is the first time he has seen you like this.

🖍️ You finally end up turning around, in his direction, and your face grows a bit pale from shock and embarrassment. "Uh... Hello... I'm so glad you came to visit!" You try to play it off, but he is too intrigued. Maybe you are like him, and hallucinate, too?

🖍️ You explain what you were doing. You daydream... WAY more often than other people! Intense worldbuilding, character arcs, and more all take place in your head the majority of the day. You like to prance or pace, finding it helpful to feel more comfortable. You also tend to stim in other ways if you cannot pace or prance. The odd facial expressions and mutterings were just you getting in character and reacting to what was happening in your daydreams.

🖍️ Wally is intrigued. It is so... similar, but different, from him. Both you and him are autistic, yes. He's known that for a while, since you told him around the second or third meeting between you two. THIS, though, is so amazing to him. He wants to know more about the stories in your head!

🖍️What do they consist of? Are they horror? Romance? Action? Comedy? He wishes to know. Are you in them? Do you play someone else? Is it from a third person perspective, watching over your creations? If it is something child friendly, maybe you can write a book and he can illustrate it!

🖍️ Even if it is something more... dark, disturbing, overall NOT a kid friendly topic... he would still want to draw it! Maybe he can start to expand his illustrations into more adult books. He is shockingly good at drawing horror, you know. Some of his vent art is a really disturbing treat to view.

🖍️ You might get onto the topic of how both of your conditions are similar and different. You have a lot of characters floating around in your head. Different worlds, stories, everything! Wally does have, in a way, characters, too! The little voices in his head count, right? Sometimes the same one will pop up every now and again. Both of your conditions seem, in a way, uncontrolled. Due to Wally preferring to not use medications, he simply lives with the voices and hallucinations, going to therapy to help him cope and learn to live with it. You just go with the flow, in a way. As far as you've heard, the best and only way to help deal with it is therapy. No real medication or anything.

🖍️ You both are finally happy to find someone similar to yourselves. The best part is that it is similar enough to be familiar, but different enough to have such interesting conversations!

[leeknowsnot]

listen (platonic han x reader)

genre: angst, no comfort, band!au

notes: platonic, 9th member!reader, reader is changbin's sister, written in 3rd pov, reader is referred to as she instead of "you"

warnings: mentions of d-ath and s-ic-de

i'm still in the process of writing kinktober day 3 so here you go for now!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ" your burden is not yours alone

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ there are those who share it

there are those who learn from it

and there are those who

willingly speak about it

you just have to listen"

January 7th, 2023

"Stop. Let's stop," Seungmin abruptly said from the other side of the room, ceasing the music being made within the four-walled enclosement they were in. Everyone had looked at him in confusion as he ran a palm through his face with an exasperated exhale, the guitar hanging on his shoulder yet looking like it had weighed more than it did. Minho was silent but he was eyeing the other male along with Chan who was raising his eyebrows. Seungmin's tone was not loud yet it was laced with quite the frustration.

"Y/N," he called out. She blinked, mouth agape and glanced at him. Seungmin stood before her, eyes wallowing in what seemed to be dismay followed by a few more gazes from Chan and Minho.

She spoke, a confused tone lacing her words. "Y-Yes? What's wrong?"

Seungmin replied with a sigh, "We've been practicing the same song for a whole week now and you've been hitting the wrong beats for more than thrice already. Our first gig is just around the corner and it's only a few days before we finally get on stage with a large crowd watching. Let's try not to mess this up, okay?"

She had found herself having more difficulty nodding than staying silent but she had an uncomfortable fidget on her seat which Chan noticed. "She's probably just tired. We all are, considering we even had weekends reserved for practice and we all know she gets tired a lot more than the rest of us. I think we should call it a day," he tapped on the male's shoulder.

The frown from Seungmin's mien softened, looking at her before he had finally agreed to his proposal. "You're the boss. I'm just trying to keep things on track," he says.

Minho had sent a nod at Y/N's direction as he put back his bass on the stand and with a few words of notice about where he'd be headed, left off.

"I'll be going on ahead as well then," was the last thing Seungmin had said before following suit, leaving the two of them in a complete silence. It felt like Chan was staring right through her soul and it somehow made her conscious.

"What is it?" she muttered through her lips, looking down at the snare drum that had seemed to become the most interesting object to look and distract herself from his stare.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" his voice was straightforward, typical Chan, but there was a slight tone of concern laced within his words. "You do seem like you've been out of it for the past days. Is there something wrong?"

She shook her head, probably out of instinct but she had decided is would only bother Chan if she said yes. "It's nothing, really. You're right, I'm just probably tired. Seungmin has been out of it as well and the others.. They're probably exhausted too."

They weren't. In fact, they had plenty of rests in between practice hours and they were more than enough for exhaustion to be such an overstatement.

"Are you sure?" he asked. His voice was even, mellow.

Y/N hummed, hoping her facial expression was convincing enough for him to stop questioning her which would probably lead to a whole therapy session. "I'm really fine. I just need some breather, that's all," she answered. To which in her surprise, Chan had taken as a genuine response and finally left her to herself by her drum set. She sighed in relief, packing her drumsticks in her small backpack and threw the cover on the set.

When she was finally set on leaving the studio, she stood beside Chan as he sat, burying his face on a piece of paper. Probably finding the right word for a new song from his so-called mind palace. He was never the first to leave the studio and was always the last to leave—thus, the whole band teasing him that he was here more than he had stayed in his own house. She bade him goodbye, leaving the room and headed towards the corridor.

It was never silent in the record label's building. If not for the muffled sound in practice studios, her brother Changbin's loud and booming voice could be heard echoing through the walls. As she reached the training room, the same drum set, recording set, and instruments had welcomed her and brought her waves upon waves of memories.

...

You always call me full of regret

You want me to save you again

December 12th, 2020

"You really have a nice voice," she had said out of the blue, slightly startling the male whose back was turned at her.

"You really have a hobby of giving people heart attacks," Jisung deadpanned at her, earning a laugh from the female. She sat beside him, hand occupied with her lunch tray and gave him a wide smile.

It was during middle school when they first met. She had been friends with Chan for quite a while but it was also not long when she had met Jisung. "Did you try singing at talent shows or joining bands? You shouldn't put that voice to waste, you know," she said, chewing on a piece of fry.

"No. I don't like bands."

"Why not? Afraid of a little commitment? I heard Chan's planning on forming a band for the school show. C'mon, it's fun!" she laughed.

"It's not very convincing coming from someone who transferred schools a lot and met sorts of people. But no, it's not like that." He eyed back his notebook, gripping the pen between his fingers and started scribbling again. He never had the best penmanship.

"I just don't like how they disband in the end eventually after years of bonding."

...

After all these years, the days go by

I've seen you fall a million times

Everybody makes mistakes

February 17th, 2022

"What's with that face?" he gave her a side look, ready to inch away. "Why do you look like you're about to cry."

Y/N clicked her tongue, glaring at him. "I'm not. I just can't get this beat right. I've been redoing this part for how many times now, it still sounds weird." She scrunched her nose at him. "Minho won't be too happy if he hears that mistake during our number. You know how he just stays silent but he's actually judging you. Even Changbin refuses to help me out with this."

"Alright, alright. Give me the drumstick, we'll sort your problem out," he sighed at her, which had probably sounded like he was done with her whining. She gave him the weirdest grin.

"Stop it Y/N, you're weirding me out."

...

June 5th, 2022

Y/N scooted towards Jisung, eyes peeking at whatever he was writing. "What are you doing?"

His head snapped at her direction, a surprised expression on his face. "Y/N, you scared me! Don't go creeping up on people's backs, it's scary!" She only gave him a hearty laugh, taking a seat beside him.

Jisung let out a sigh before chuckling, head turning back to his notebook. "It's a song," he says.

She shrugs. "You always write songs. Don't you do something else? Something more... fun?" Jisung gives her a laugh.

"Rich coming from someone who's also a band member," he rolls his eyes. she nudges his shoulder.

"I play music, not write them. Beating drums prove to be far more entertaining than composing." This earns her a smile from Jisung who turns back to writing again.

"It's kind of like a stress reliever for me. I get to say things i can't say. Pour out the feelings I can't show," he says.

She sat beside him silently, an amused expression on her face as she watched Jisung pour out his lyrics on his paper.

...

It feels so hard to watch you hurt

From the pain a lesson learned

This is how you find your way

July 23rd, 2022

1 ring. 2 rings. 3 rings. 4 rings.

She didn't want to answer her phone. Her weight had gone down yet she refused to move an inch. How many days had she skipped classes? She couldn't count how many.

Usually in cliché novels, it would rain dramatically in sync with the protagonist's melancholy. But it was the perfect weather; no rain, no scorching sun, no whistling wind. Just plain silence that gave such a temperature that was comfortable for everyone but her. Y/N cursed at the sky. She cursed at the simple noises by the street outside her house. She cursed at the faint droplet from the sink by her bathroom. She cursed at everything.

A loud banging from the front door disturbed the deafening silence. It irritated her. She tried to ignore it, hoping it would cease eventually but the more she ignored it, the more it became louder. It took more than half of her will to stand up from her bed, hair disheveled and almost stumbled down the stairs. She was pondering whether to open it or just pretend she was not home. Ths cold metal knob came in contact with her palm as she twisted it open. They stood in front of her, four faces agape with disbelief and distress. Chan was the first to speak.

"Why weren't you answering our calls? We were worried about you," he had a look of both guilt and responsibility. Minho looked like he was ready to scold her for neglect and Chan was not very pleased at the sight of her state. Jisung was giving her a sympathetic look.

"We know you're still sad about our loss. But that's normal. We lose some, we win some," Jisung says. "Here, I had Felix bake you a cake."

"I'm sorry," was all she could say.

...

You feel so lost, I've been there too

Skies so dark no way through

Stories only scars can tell

November 20th, 2022

Y/N knocked at the practice room door, clutching at her drumsticks in her hand. "Anyone here?"

Seungmin and the others stood behind her, sweat dripping through their shirts as they had finished their last band show for the university—a college farewell party.

A muffled answer came from inside the room. "I must've locked the door by accident. My apologies. Yes, I'm here." Jisung opened the door, his other hand occupied by the guitar he was holding.

"We're going out for a drink. You left the backstage so soon earlier so we came looking for you," Seungmin spoke from behind her.

"It's our last day as students, after all," Minho followed. Chan only gave a nod.

He pondered for a moment, pursing his lips and finally gave an answer. "I'm sorry. I might not be joining you guys this time, I have some... matters to attend to." Y/N gave him a puzzled look. "But I'll try to join once I'm finished."

"Are you sure?" Chan asked in which he responded with a nod. She looked at him, torn whether she should ask if he was doing alright or not. She went for the latter.

"Hey, are you alright?"

He gave her his most genuine smile. "Yes."

...

February 11th, 2023

The sun had barely touched the buildings when Y/N arrived at the studio. Just a few days ago, the band was running on sticks and stones with her being off beat and Minho being on the edge of losing his patience but today was different. Yesterday was the milestone of Stray Kids' first live musical performance as a band under a well-known label and it was definitely more than something to be celebrated about.

The moment she entered the label's building, a lively party had filled the place from ground to the top floor. It was as if yesterday the othe band had the same festivities right after theirs and that was a couple of weeks ago. It was the label's way of recognition over the bands' efforts.

She squeezed herself towards their room, sometimes bumping past shoulders of people that were familiar only by face but not by name. As soon as she reached the others, she let out a huff. Seungmin was by the side, pouring Jeong In a drink, her brother was laughing at Chan's antics, and Minho was looking at Chan with a weird expression as he always had. It was just like any other day.

Only, it felt incomplete.

As if a puzzle piece was missing.

She walked past Changbin, placing her drumsticks by her set and took her bag from her shoulders. He had given her a wave, greeting her but she didn't answer.

It felt wrong. It all felt very wrong. It felt... What was it? Unfair? Why was she feeling unfair? Was it because she was the only one who felt that way or was it because she was wondering why they never mentioned anything about him?

"Hey," she heard her brother speak from beside her, now leaving an occupied Chan who busied himself with Minho's weird expressions.

"Hey," was the only answer she gave.

"Are you alright? You look like you woke up on the bad side of the bed again," he responded back at her, his locks brushing at his left cheek but to which he paid no heed at. "Don't tell me you're having PMS again—"

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Changbin," she cut off his sentence. Y/N sighed, glancing at everyone with both her eyebrows raised. Both spoke with a hushed tone that only they could hear. "Doesn't it feel wrong to you? Everyone's having so much fun, it's unsettling."

"Of course everyone is," he spoke in a matter-of-fact tone. "It's your band's debut yet you're the only one who has that ugly, long face. Not that you're weren't ugly before."

She glared at him, ready to stab him with a drumstick the next time he cracks an untimely joke again. "I hate it. We shouldn't be celebrating so much like this. There's nothing to even celebrate about."

Apparently Changbin didn't like her statement. Even Y/N herself was surprised at her own words. "Y/N, I don't see the problem why we shouldn't be doing this and you won't even tell me why."

"I also don't see why you're not feeling the same way I am right now," she retored back at him.

"Feel what, Y/N? I don't get you. If you just told me—"

She had cut off his statement with a louder tone. "Why, you ask? I should be the one asking that. Why is everyone acting as if everything is okay? Why is no one talking about Jisung?"

She had said it too loud. Heads turned towards her, mouths shushed, and the only noise was the low volume music by the speakers.

"Why is it that everyone just started pretending that everything was back to normal and why did Chan pick up that rhythm guitar without even saying a word? As if Jisung had never been our member? As if he never existed?"

"Tell me, Changbin. Why is no one telling me why he had to take his own life?"

Her voice broke along with her heart as the room fell silent. The radio hushed, mouths shut, and the loud footsteps came to a stop. But her head did not.

Faces upon faces of pity, empathy, and confusion had stared at her. She didn't want any of that. She wanted an answer. A clear answer. She paid no heed to the pool of tears that had found themselves continuously streaming down her cheeks.

"Tell me. Why did I not ask if he really was okay and didn't know that his 'yes' was the last thing I was gonna hear from him. Tell me. Why did we not notice how much he was hiding himself behind his fake smiles.

"Tell me. Why are we so happy without him?"

She didn't hate Seungmin, or Minho, or Chan. Nor any of the other members and bands for celebrating. Nor any of this. She hated herself. Her ignorance. Her blind eye towards what he had actually been feeling. Her guilt.

It was guilt.

She should have listened. Not at the loud strums of his guitar. But at the silent screams of his heart. She should have.

if you know anyone struggling with d-pression, anxiety, or just need someone to talk to, please PLEASE reach out to them because they're not alone in this fight. you're not alone in this fight. we're not alone in this fight.