#Once I talked to her actively at the bus stop talking about needing a beer

[lionblaze03-2]

Kind of obsessed with Pam stardew valley. Btw. If anyone even CARES

[oscars-wifeyyy]

The Innocent (Oscar Diaz Fanfic)

I just want to see if this is a good start lol I kinda just wrote this cuz it just came up in my mind

In middle school and freshman year of high school, Elizabeth Hernandez was a girl that had braces and acne all over her face. Before summer came she was accepted into the same writing camp that Monse got accepted in and didn’t have to pay a thing except for the transportation. The school year ended and the class of 2018 was having a party to celebrate the end of high school so the crew went to look at the party. The crew went to hide behind the wall to watch the party as it progressed into the night until everyone decided that they wanted to get a beer so Cesar snuck into the party to get everybody beer.

Ruby, Monse, Elizabeth, and Jamal stood watching the scene unfold. The girls were looking for Cesar, Ruby was looking at the girls, while Jamal was freaking out over the football players that stood by the house.

“Do you see him?” Monse asked, crossing her arms. 

“I don’t see him,” Elizabeth went on the tips of her toes to see if she could get a better look.

“Something bad is gonna happen. I can feel it,” Jamal freaked out.

“Take a xanny, J,” Ruby glanced at Jamal, “We just can’t see him, ‘cause he’s being stealth,”

“Yeah,” Monse agreed, “besides, when has Cesar ever let us down?”

“Fourth grade. Kickball tourney,” Jamal looks at the group, “we lost,”

“That’s because I picked the kid with no skills,” the group turned, “and I would do it again. Loyalty trumps victory, compa,”

Elizabeth took the beer being offered to her, “got that right, salad,”

Cesar stood up behind the wall, “take it in, guys. This is about to be us. This is high school,”

The five took a sip of their beer and made a face of disgust, but continued drinking out of the can with the bitter-tasting liquid.

“Ruby,” Monse said, “you think Mario is gonna marry Angelica?”

Ruby shrugged, “No idea. Mario tells me jack,”

“What about that time he said Angelica had a dangler?” Jamal chuckled as Ruby tried to shut Jamal up, “what? He said that,”

“In private!” Ruby exclaimed, “time and place, dude. Oh, guys, check out Huerita at 9 o’clock. Monse, Eli, if you were a girl-”

“We are,” Monse interrupted.

“But if you were a girl like that, would you wear any underwear?” Ruby stared dreamily as Elizabeth turned to look at Ruby in disgust.

“Oh, my God. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die,” Jamal said.

“Why are you gonna die, J?” Elizabeth asked Jamal.

“See those guys over there?” Jamal pointed towards the guys in football jerseys, “they play for the ‘ridge. Did you know that last year alone a quorum of kids-”

“Died playing football?” Monse butt in, “you’re stuck on repeat,”

“So don’t play, sweets,” Elizabeth chuckled.

“No choice,” Jamal said, “Pops was a legend. It’s a family tradition. I’m dead,” Jamal jumped off the platform with Monse and Elizabeth.

“You’re not dead,” Monse said.

“Football spiral?” Cesar asked as he got down to help Jamal calm down, “Jamal, CTE is not in your future,”

“Guys, check out my game,” Ruby turned, “Heurita gave me the nod,”

A bald guy popped up and grabbed Ruby’s shoulder, “Eyeing my girl, cabron?”

“No, God, no. I’m not into blondes,” Ruby tried to get out.

“Easy,” Cesar said, “he does your mother’s taxes. Mrs. Guzamn, right?”

“Three thousand dollar refund. Schedule C, line 30. Home office deduction,” Ruby said.

“Seriously,” Monse looked at him in disbelief.

Another cholo came over the wall to see Cesar so he nudged the bald guy, “Yo, homes. What are you doing, ese? That’s Spooky’s lil bro, dawg,”

The guy let go of Ruby, “I didn’t realize it was you, homie. Hey, listen, man, tell Spooky Sad Eyes sends his respects,” Cesar nodded as the two cholos left the crew.

“Thank God for your brother,” Ruby rubbed his shoulder.

“Nah, thank God for better things,” Cesar shook his head as gunshots rang out and everybody crouched down.

“.357!” the crew yelled out after the 5th shot.

Soon they were in Ruby’s place, Jamal and Ruby were spying on Mario and Angelica arguing outside while Cesar, Monse, and Elizabeth were sitting on the couch. Elizabeth took out her phone to tell her mother she was fine and in Ruby’s house until Ruby and Jamal ran to the couch, “Mario’s coming!”

Elizabeth didn’t bother listening to Mario so she just put on her earbuds and looked at him as if she was listening, but when she thought he was done she took it out. Mario came back and said, “don’t bone Elizabeth and Monse,”

Everybody started laughing as Monse said, “Who would even wanna do that?”

The next day Monse and Elizabeth went to the coach station to catch their bus to the camp. Summer was spent writing in the middle of nowhere with activities and amenities provided for the students so Elizabeth was able to start working out, losing the acne, and lost the braces. A few months later, they were back and on their way to Ruby’s house.

Monse wore simple jeans and a shirt that showed a little cleavage while Elizabeth wore a blue destroyed  with a burgundy bralette and ripped jeans that covered her legs. Smiles were on both faces, happy that they lost the metal prison that held their teeth captive. Both had grown breasts which attracted a lot of unwanted attention from the ice cream man as he was selling. They walked a little faster until a voice was heard that they recognized.

“Angelica, once I’m gone, I’m gone! There’s not gonna be a Christmas break hook-up! You know why? ‘Cause I’m gonna be hooking up with other chicks!” Mario took a pause, “white chicks!” another pause, “I don’t know why I’m saying that. It’s you! Talk to me, boo!”

“Maybe she’s not home!” Monse called out as Mario turned.

“Oh. Hey, guys,” the three met on the street, “how was camp?”

“Terrible. Mildly life-changing,” Monse shrugged.

“I can see that,” Mario looked down at their chests.

“Shut up, Mario,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes as a blush came on and tried to hide her newly found breasts.

“You can? How?” Monse asked confused.

“You just...look, I probably have to go before traffic hits,” Mario changed subjects.

“No prob. Good luck at Cal,” Elizabeth waved.

“Thanks,” Mario sighed, “and you two, keep an eye on Ruby? Don’t know what that kid’s gonna do without me,”

Monse and Elizabeth arrived at Ruby’s house and to his now own room, “we’re back!”

“Can you guys move that side table?” Ruby pointed at the table.

“No, seriously, don’t make such a fuss. We’ve only been gone all summer but really, it’s no big deal,” Monse glared at the boys.

“How was camp?” Ruby reluctantly asked.

“Camp was fine. Notice anything different?” Elizabeth and Monse smiled wide.

“Both of you got boobs,” The boys said.

“You can wait for Cesar to help,” Elizabeth glared.

Jamal stood up, “then we’ll be waiting a long time,”

“Why?” Monse asked.

“Where is Cesar?” Elizabeth asked.

“We’re not talking to him,” Ruby shrugged.

“Y’all in a fight?” Monse asked, crossing her arms.

“Well, it wasn’t really a fight. More like…” Jamal started but Ruby cut him off, “we’re not getting into it. Trust us, Cesar’s not cool,”

“Well, I’m not cool being not cool,” Monse crossed her arms, “and why aren’t you at football?” Monse asked Jamal.

“We should really get to orientation,” Jamal changed subjects as he stood up, “before those lines get too big,”

“Yeah, I don’t want to get too sweaty for my ID. Like Mario said ‘it’s all about the right first impression,’” Ruby said, straightening his clothes.

“And sticking together! You’re definitely deflecting this whole Cesar sitch,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes, “so stop being bitches and tell us,”

“Right!” Monse agreed.

Now they were on their way to school and Monse was continuing to pester the boys while Elizabeth gave up and let Monse deal with that. However, it was kind of a backfire for Monse because the boys’ gave her the silent treatment.

“What happened with Cesar?” Monse threw her hands up, “this silent treatment will only last so long. I will break you,” a pause went by, “come on! There is no way Cesar did anything on purpose to destroy our crew,”

“He’s the glue of our crew!” Elizabeth added.

“That was then, this is now,” Jamal shrugged.

“Yeah. Cesar ain’t shit,” Ruby agreed.

They turned the corner to see the Prophets so Elizabeth alerted the crew, “shit, Prophets!”

Everyone was searching their clothes to see if there were any colors that would set off the gang members. Ruby took off his hoodie but messed his hair up a little.

“Damn it. Did I just jack my do?” Ruby pulled out his phone to see how it looked until he saw Jasmine, “code dread, code dread, code dread. Approaching on your six,”

“Yo! You guys going to orientation?” Jasmine’s voice popped up, “hey, you know my cousin, Berto, the fine one? Hey. His daughter, Letty, said it ain’t nothing unless you can’t spell your name and then you hold up the line and people get mad,” Jasmine ranted, “hey, why you guys walking so fast? You know I got asthma,”

“Sorry, Jasmine! We’re having a private convo,” Monse called out, “real sensitive stuff,”

“That’s what you always say!” Jasmine yelled but took a deep breath from her inhaler and began running after the crew.

They finally lost her after a few minutes and they breathed out a breath of relief not seeing Jasmine behind them anymore.

“Man, she is relentless,” Ruby shook his head.

“Nice save,” Jamal appraised Ruby,

“Oh, you’re not safe,” Monse interrupted.

“You’re threats aren’t penetrating, ok?!” Jamal said, “I’m not telling you what Cesar said,”

“Aha!” Monse turned to them, “so he did say something!”

“Jamal!” Ruby yelled, “do you need a muzzle? Monse, no offense, but you’re a loose cannon. We’re not telling you for your own protection,”

“My protection?” Monse leaned closer to Ruby, “eat a dick,”

“Case in point,” Ruby said, “you don’t even know and you’re at Defcon Solange,”

They continued walking and as they were walking past an alley they saw a guy getting jumped into a gang. Monse and Elizabeth began staring at the actions happening, but Ruby and Jamal took each of their arms.

“Don’t look,” Ruby grunted, “keep walking,”

“Why would anyone wanna get jumped on 19th street?” Jamal asked, “I’d join First Street. Only one second of pain,”

“Agreed,” Ruby said, “besides, who would want a lifetime commitment at our age?”

“Apparently neither of you,” Elizabeth chuckled.

“Lack of commitment seems to be a noticeable trend in this friendship,” Monse shook her head, “as does lack of space,” Monse pushed the boys away.

“We can’t tell you what Cesar said,” Jamal said.

Rap music was being played from down the street from a red Impala, “fine then. I’ll ask myself. Eli, let’s go,”

Monse walked in front of the car as a head stuck out of the window, “Hey, you crazy?!”

Monse and Elizabeth walked over to the driver’s side and leaned down, “we just wanted to let Cesar know that we were back in town,”

“And looking like some fine ass hynas,” the mystery cholo smirked.

“Underaged hynas,” Monse snapped.

“Not for some,” the cholo stared at Elizabeth, “it’s all good. You just look a lil different. What is it?”

“My boobs,” Monse deadpanned.

“Nah, you got your braces off,” he laughed, “and who are you, hermosa?”

“Elizabeth,” she blushed.

“Cool. Spooky,” he drove away as the girls went back to the boys on the sidewalk.

“When did Oscar get out?” Monse looked confused.

“Six weeks ago,” Ruby answered as they covered the girls cleavages with their sweaters.

“Now it makes sense! Whatever Cesar said, he said to impress Oscar. Cesar’s terrified of his brother,” Monse smiled.

“Along with everyone else,” Ruby said.

“Then who cares what he says,” Elizabeth shrugged.

“Oh, just drop it!” Jamal raised his voice.

“Do we look like we can just drop it?” Monse asked.

“Actually you do. You just won’t,” Jamal shrugged then a body jumped out from behind them.

“Tax time, bitches!” Latrelle said, “hands up, money out,”

“How can we take out money out with our hands up?” Elizabeth asked.

“I know you bookheads got that back to school gwop,” Latrelle scowled.

Monse started talking, “actually, it’s orientation day. Technically, we’re neither in school nor out of school. We’re…”

Ruby covered Monse’s mouth, “we don’t have any money,”

Latrelle gave a look to Jamal, “what about that 20?” Ruby groaned and handed Latrelle his 20.

Elizabeth, Monse, and Jamal were walking from orientation and were now in front of Cesar’s place that was filled with Santos. Monse and Jamal were going back and forth on the situation, but Elizabeth was stuck on the sight of “Spooky” working out as his muscles constricted when he lifted the weights. Slowly, she came back to reality and the bickering between Jamal and Monse.

“...but he would never join the gang. He’s an outlier so whatever is going on it isn’t that,” Monse snapped at Jamal.

“He isn’t the same,” Jamal said, “he dumped us,”

“But we weren’t here so it’s not official,” Monse looked across the street.

“If someone breaks up with you over text, is it official?” Jamal asked,

“Yes,”

“Consider me the text,” Jamal clicked his tongue, “Ding! You’ve been dumped,” Elizabeth and Montse rolled their eyes and started going over there, “wait! Please don’t go. Please, you’re not… you’re not safe,”

“Why?” Elizabeth asked.

“Because…” Jamal looked at their newly developed chests, “both of you blossomed,”

“Blossomed?” Monse asked.

“Popped. Busted out. Puffed your party pillows. Whatever you wanna call your new cha-cha-bingos,” Jamla pointed towards the cholos, “these new homies he’s hanging with are thirsty,” Jamal threw his hoodie onto Monse, who tossed it back as Elizabeth and herself walked to the other side of the street, “Ok. don’t worry, girls! I got your back…”

The two approached the exiled friend as the other Santos turned to stare at the two walking up to the younger Diaz. Monse stopped in front of Cesar as Elizabeth, coincidentally, stood in front of Oscar, who was staring at her. The leader’s eyes felt like it was burning holes through Elizabeth’s face, but she didn’t make it look obvious even though there was a blush on her cheeks.

“I need to talk to you,” Monse said firmly.

“I’m listening,” Cesar stayed seated.

“Privately,” Elizabeth whispered as the Santos turned to stare at them longer.

“Yeah. We can go inside,” Cesar’s older brother cleared his throat, “but, uh, if you both wanna sit on my face, y’all gotta put those mouths on pause so I can concentrate,” Laughs were heard from the cholos so Monse quickly bailed and went back to Jamal; however, Elizabeth felt a wave of burning anger in her so she pulled her fist back and punched Cesar on the mouth. He groaned as Elizabeth leaned closer to whisper into his ear.

“Do not try to come back and get along with me until you make things right with Monse. I know what y’all did so I’m only doing this for her now,” Elizabeth said, “come near me and I will punch the shit out of you again,” Elizabeth left as Cesar looked at her with slight fear in his eyes and the cholos stared at her in lust after the action was taken by her. Her cheeks burned red at the attention especially from the certain leader that sat next to Cesar. Oohs were heard from the porch, but Elizabeth paid no mind to it as she went back to walking with Jamal and Monse.

“Cesar is dead to us!” Monse yelled.

“Told ya,” Jamal said as he ran to the back of the bushes.

“He doesn’t get to break up with us,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes, “we’re breaking up with him,”

“Sit on my face? Who says that?” Monse stuck her hands out.

“Chairs who can talk! And buttholes!” Jamal called out from the bushes.

“I wouldn’t put dumb crap like that past Oscar, but Cesar?” Monse asked in disbelief, “what happened to him?” Jamal was rolling around when Monse came into an idea, “Cesar’s gotta be hitting the pipe. Right? right!”

“Could be?” Elizabeth shrugged as Jamal jumped onto the next patch of grass. “That was totally out of character,” Monse shook her head, but realized what Jamal was doing, “what are you doing?”

“I’m getting into character,” Jamal sprayed water onto her armpits and clothes, “hey, pops. Say nothing and go with my flow,”

“Monse! Eli! Welcome back, babies. Ready for the new year?” Dwayne hugged both girls.

“Bound to be a lot of surprises,” Monse shrugged as she reciprocated the gift already.

“How was practice?” Dwayne asked his son.

“Yeah, how was practice?” Elizabeth smiled as Jamal threw his gym bag at her.

“I don’t know. Ask those D1 scouts who were all up on me,” Jamal pulled on his jersey.

Dwayne chuckled, “that’s my boy!” He pulled Jamal into a man hug then walked away with an extra pep to his step and back to his gardening.

“Did you quit the team and not tell your dad?” Monse asked.

“No,” Jamal looked at Monse, “yes. Look I suited up first day, and I just wasn’t feeling it,”

“Wasn’t feeling it?” Elizabeth threw the bag back at Jamal.

“Yeah. Wasn’t feeling like breaking my neck,” Jamal threw the bag down on the ground, “listen, everybody that knows me knows that I suck, except my pops. And he keeps thinking that I’m just gonna wake up one day and be him, and...I’m not him,” Jamal sighed, “I just need the right time to tell him,”

“How ironic that a guy that can’t keep a secret is keeping the biggest secret of his life,” Monse smirked, “I’m gonna rat you out to your dad,” her smirk fell, “unless you drop the 411 about Cesar. What did he say?”

“No!” Jamal denied.

“Yes!” Monse said, “Mr. Turn-”

Jamal covered Monse’s mouth, “Cesar said you let him hit it before you left for camp,” Jamal said in one breath.

The two girls were fuming and decided to do a group call later with Ruby to find out the context and how he said it, but Elizabeth had work that night so she couldn’t participate, settling on telling Monse to keep her updated. A long six hours of working, she got off at 10pm and checked her phone to see a text from Monse telling her to meet at Dwayne’s joint at five to chop it up.

The next day came around and Monse and Elizabeth were at the joint with Jamal as he and Elizabeth worked. Elizabeth sometimes worked for Dwayne to earn a little extra money to prevent herself from asking for money from her mother because her mother was already deep in debt and Elizabeth was doing anything in her power to help her out.

“That’s the eleventh text,” Monse sighed, “Ruby’s almost 2 hours late,”

“He said he’ll be here, so he’ll be here. Trust me,” Jamal gave the customer his order.

“Yeah, Mon. Chill,” Elizabeth smirked.

“Said the guy pretending to play football?” Monse stared at Jamal. 

“Maybe my pops won’t notice,” Jamal hoped.

“I don’t think that’s possible, J,” Elizabeth motioned towards the countless photos of Jamal playing football.

“Where the hell is Ruby?” Jamal put his hand on his head.

After a few minutes, Monse and Elizabeth decided to go to Ruby’s house to see what was going on. The two rushed in through the door to see Ruby standing on top of a table, wearing a pink dress, and Abuelita was hemming it.

“What the hell is going on ?” Monse asked.

“I think it’s pretty obvious,” Ruby rolled his eyes.

“Great,” Monse rolled her eyes, “so, walk me through the moment Cesar said what he said,”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ruby looked at Monse.

“There you go again,” Monse crossed her arms.

“There you go again what?” Ruby looked confused.

“Keeping things from us,” Elizabeth stood by Monse’s side, “stop withholding things from us,”

Monse pulled Ruby outside onto the porch, “Monse, wait! Monse! We need to go back inside,”

Monse faced Ruby, “what did Cesar exactly say? And how did he say it? We need context, tone. We need to know, Ruby.”

“Y’all know what I know,” Ruby insisted, “what I don’t know is why he said it. But he said it. We tried to get him to take it back, but he wouldn’t. So what can we do? Drop it,”

“I can’t,” Monse looked down.

“Why not?” Ruby asked.

“‘Cause I’m still figuring out if I still hate him. You heard what your brother said. How are we gonna survive high school without Cesar?” Monse said.

“Mario’s not some sage. Don’t take his words to heart, it’s just words,” Ruby tried to persuade Monse, but she wouldn’t give up.

“If that’s true then why should we take Cesar’s words to heart?” Monse turned the tables, “they’re just words,”

“Sometimes, it’s not what you say, but how you say it. And Cesar said it like he meant it. But things could be worse,”

“What’s worse than losing a friend?” Elizabeth asked.

“Entering high school with a rep,” Ruby said, “you’re smart enough to know that a rumor could ruin your life,” Monse and Elizabeth nodded, “but it’s contained.”

“You’re right. No one knows,” Monse sighed.

Jasmine rode by Ruby’s house with her scooter, but she stopped to talk to the three, “hi! Damn, Ruby. I see you! I see you! And I’m down with it,” Jasmine winked at Ruby, “I like the freaky, just like Monse,” 

“What are you talking about?” Elizabeth asked.

“Y’all ain’t gotta be shy with me,” Jasmine smiled, “I know Cesar and Monse be getting it in,” Jasmine humped the air.

“No one knows?! Really?” Monse scoffed, “I officially hate the traitor, and now I’m gonna kick his ass,”

“Girl, I’m coming with,” Elizabeth growled.

“Monse! Eli!” Ruby ran back inside to take the dress off as the two girls got closer to the Diaz residence.

The two girls arrived at the Diaz house to see Cesar riding his skateboard and Oscar chilling on the wall. When they saw the suspect, Monse marched her way to Cesar and pushed him off of his skateboard.

“You little bitch!” Monse yelled as she began hitting Cesar.

“Damn, that hyna’s wild. Must be a freak on all fours,” a cholo said.

“Shut the fuck up, cabron. Before you’re gonna be like little homie over there,” Elizabeth snapped at the nearest cholo.

“I fought for you. I had your back. For what? For you to impress your puto friends and humiliate me?” Monse continued hitting Cesar as he tried to shield his face from the enraged girl on top of him.

“Hermanito, you better back up before you get smacked up,” Oscar smirked.

Elizabeth turned to the leader, “Callate, puto. You aboutta be smacked up like tú hermanito,”

“Watch it now, nena,” Oscar winked at the spitfire sophomore.

“Monse! Eli!” Jamal yelled as Ruby and Jamal pulled Monse to the sidewalk.

Elizabeth glared at the leader of the Santos as she walked back to her group of friends to listen to what they had to say.

“This is why we didn’t want to tell you guys!” Ruby yelled.

“Y’all goin’ crazy!” Jamal added.

“Crazy? We’re crazy?!” Monse yelled.

“Calm down. Breath,” Ruby tried to calm Monse down.

“Don’t you patronize me!” Monse pushed Jamal, “I don’t need you! Any of you! I was just trying to keep our crew together, but since Eli and I are the only ones who cares, y’all are dead to me! I’ll survive on my own,” Monse walked off.

The three stood completely dumbfounded by the afrolatina’s rant, but began walking home until a certain voice stopped them.

“Elizabeth,” The three turned to see Oscar standing on the steps of the porch, “come here,”

Jamal and Ruby looked at Elizabeth, asking if they should stay with her, but she knew that they were scared to even stay another minute, “it’s alright. I’ll text y’all when I get home,”

The two boys nodded and rushed to get home and avoid the feared leader so Elizabeth turned to walk towards the now empty porch. Oscar stood on the porch with a strong pose that oozed power and a smirk showed proudly upon his lips.

“Y-y-yeah,” Elizabeth stuttered.

“Let’s go inside so we can talk,” Oscar turned to the door to open it for her.

“No, gracias. Podemos hablar aquí,” Elizabeth blushed.

“Por qué eres tímido ahora? You were just talking real big, bebita,” Oscar smirked at the sudden shy girl in front of him.

“I w-was just heated i-in that moment,” Elizabeth put her arms behind her back and looked down when she felt the leader’s stare on her face.

“Alright. Let me see tu teléfono,” Oscar held out his hand.

“Por qué,” Elizabeth looked at him confused.

“Let me just see it. I’m gonna give you my number,” Elizabeth handed him her phone, “you can text me whenever and call me. If you need anything then hit me up, hermosa,”

“Oh, o-ok. Gracias, Spooky. Call me Eli. I kind of don’t like my name,”

“Oscar. Call me Oscar and no problema, princesa,” Oscar winked, “let me walk you home. Where do you stay at?”

“A few houses that way,” she pointed to her right.

“Alright. Vamos, hermosa,” Oscar walked down the steps, holding his hand out to help Elizabeth down the stairs, “so why haven’t I met you yet?”

“estaba en la prisión when I started hanging out with the crew,” Elizabeth shrugged.

Oscar nodded, “well, I find you muy hermosa. Let me get to know you,”

They were in front of her house as she leaned on the gate with Oscar leaning his hand next to her body and the other hand in his pocket, “we’ll see, Oscar Diaz. Buenas noches,”

“Buenas noches, hermosa,” Oscar smirked at the girl that walked under his arm to go inside the gate.

She had to work the next day so she immediately did her nightly routine then fell asleep in her bed with dreams of the big bad leader that live a few houses down. Her dreams carried her away and into dreamland until 7 am and her alarm blaring and telling her to get up. Elizabeth groaned as she slammed her hand down on the alarm and got up to get ready for the day. Once she was dressed and ready to go, she started cooking breakfast for herself and her mother since her dad was at the hospital still so she settled for eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns so she wouldn’t be late to the bus.

Elizabeth closed the front door and made her way to the bus stop with her earphones pushed into her ears with music blasting to keep her distracted from her surroundings. After a short five minute walk to the bus stop, a red Impala pulled up in front of it, but Elizabeth didn’t pay any mind to it until the driver had honked his horn. She looked up fast and saw the familiar bald head and bicep tattoo.

“H-hey,” Elizabeth smiled.

“Where you headed?” Oscar raised an eyebrow.

“Some of us have to work and can’t lead a gang,” Elizabeth chuckled.

“Where is it at? I can drive you,” Oscar leaned over to open the door.

Elizabeth thought for a second before getting in, “it’s in San Bernardino. Amazon warehouse,”

“Why are you working there?” Oscar began driving the car, “don’t you gotta have your diploma for that?”

“Yup, but I have some connections and they let me work there. They pay well and I got enough saved for the future,” Elizabeth sighed.

“Whatchu savin’ up for in the future?” Oscar glanced at the young girl.

“That’s gotta be at a later time,” Elizabeth shrugged, “if y-you even s-stick around,”

Half an hour passed with small talk between the two until they finally arrived in front of the warehouse building. Elizabeth gathered her stuff and opened the door to get out until a hand touched her forearm, 

“Mamita, what time you getting off?”

Elizabeth turned with her cheeks ablazed, “3. Bye, Oscar. Thanks for the ride,”

TIME SKIP

It was the end of Elizabeth’s shift and she made her way out after clocking out and as she opened the door, she saw the familiar Impala with a familiar body leaning against the front. She walked up to the body with red cheeks that seemed to always come when he was around.

“W-what are you doing here?” Elizabeth cleared her throat.

“What does it look like?” Oscar smirked, “picking you up, bebe,” Oscar opened the passenger door for her so she got inside and fiddled with her fingers as Oscar went around to get into the driver’s side. When he got inside, Elizabeth quietly thanked him for taking her to work and picking her up, 

“Gracias, Oscar, for picking me up and dropping me off,”

“No problema,” Oscar looked straight ahead at the traffic and a comfortable silence followed. “You’re very shy pero you have a fire in your eyes that you won’t let out. Por que?” Oscar questioned her as they got closer to Freeridge.

They were getting closer as Elizabeth thought about her answer until they reached her place, “some things...are meant to be kept inside,” she opened the door and got out, “bye, Oscar,”

The two went separate ways as the days went by and it was the first day of school. Elizabeth’s alarm went off as she groaned and slammed the snooze button to rub her eyes. At that moment, her mother came in and sat on her bed with a small smile at the sight of her daughter waking up, reminding the mother of the past times her daughter woke up.

“Mi amor, time to get up. It’s time for school and I made breakfast before I have to leave for work,” Leticia Hernandez smoothed down Elizabeth’s hair.

“Gracias, ma,” Elizabeth smiled before it dropped, “how is papa?”

“Tu papa es bueno pero still the same,” Leticia teared up, “things will be ok, mija,”

“I know, mama,” Elizabeth kissed her mother’s cheek, “I paid the phone bill and the internet bill so don’t worry about that,”

“Mija, don’t do that,” Leticia slightly frowned, “you should keep that money for you. I got the bills,”

“I know, ma, pero it’s fine. I have enough for myself. I just wanna help relieve some stress from you,” Elizabeth pouted.

Leticia’s eyes began overwhelmed with tears as it began running down her cheeks, “I don’t deserve a daughter like you,”

“Yes you do, ma,” Elizabeth hugged her mom, “you deserve the world with how hard you’re working. Now get to work so you’re not late and so I can get ready for school,”

“Wait, before we do that. I got something for you in the mail,” Leticia pulled out a letter, “read it,”

Elizabeth took the envelope and saw “UCLA” on the corner, when she saw it, her heart pounded in her chest and she began to get nervous, “open it, mija,” her mother softly said, Elizabeth’s hand shook as she opened the envelope and took the paper out. Her eyes skimmed over the letter and stopped at the first few lines of the letter seeing the “congratulations.”

“I-i-i goT IN! MA, I GOT IN! FULL RIDE SCHOLARSHIP! I’M GOING TO UCLA WHEN I’M DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL!”

The two cheered and jumped around with tears going down their eyes, but soon embraced each other in a long hug. After a few minutes, they went their separate ways to continue with their day as Leticia left the house to go to the hospital for her shift as a registered nurse. Elizabeth went down to eat her breakfast, but was able to finish half of it so she packed it to put it in the fridge then did her morning routine. Once everything was done, she put on her denim shorts and a black v-neck t-shirt with checkered Vans slip-ons that adorned her feet. When she grabbed her backpack from next to her bed, she left her humble abode and to the Diaz house to meet with the gang.

“‘Sup, guys,” Elizabeth yawned, “we waiting for Diaz?”

The group nodded as the sound of a door opening caught their attention even more when Cesar walked out and to the group. Everyone looked at each other then began walking to school to start off the new year.

“I can’t do this,” Jamal said, “I can’t keep secrets! It’s gonna make me implode! I don’t know why anybody keeps secrets,”

“There is something I need to tell you guys,” Monse said before gunshots rang out.

��.44!” Everyone yelled with a smile for the feel of things going back.

However, that was when a car pulled up next to them, “Cesar,” Oscar called out as he got out and pulled the seat to allow enough space for Cesar to get through.

Cesar looked at the group then went into the car with his older brother and gang before Oscar pushed the seat back and got in himself, sparing a glance towards the crew. He drove away as the group followed to stand in the middle of the road looking at the back of the Impala.

“What were you going to say?” Ruby asked as he turned to Monse.

“Cesar,” Monse turned to the remaining group, “we need to save him,”

[icequeenoriginal]

Dante felling lady about the time as a kid he broke into the tiger enclosure to pet it.

Author’s Note: Thanks for the prompt!

Warning: drinking mentioned, beer mentioned, breaking and entering, arrest mentioned

~

Night after they met, Dante and Lady shared a beer as it was the only thing Dante had in his fridge at that time. They were both too tired and mentally exhausted to want to get anything else. So they drank in silence for a bit before having a long heart-to-heart talk. 

It was the sweetest thing anyone has done for either of them. 

It became their thing. Each week, they would spend one night just talking. Usually, they would talk about what had happened the past week, whether it about the recent job one went or the jerk in line at the grocery store. Rarely, they would let the other in on their past, though they would blame the alcohol after. 

~

Dante walks into the shop to see that Lady is already setting up for vent night, as Dante labeled it. He watches as she puts the beers and chips onto the coffee table. He smiles and sits on the couch.

Lady joins him and says, “You will not believe what I saw today.”

“A bold statement, considering most of the things I have seen in my life.”

Lady laughs but didn’t disagree. On one mission, she fought a fish demon with legs and it was weird. She doesn’t like to talk about it.

“So what did you see, Lady?” Dante asks as he grabs a beer and opens it.

“So you know the zoo in the next town over?” Dante nods. “Well, I was walking through it after my last job, just to have a nice break and I saw a guy getting arrest. Nothing too strange until I found out why he was arrested. Get this? Apparently, he jumped into the area where the penguins where. He yelled that he was king of the penguins, and all the penguins of the world would follow him as he takes over the world. Well, the penguins in the exhibit started pecking at him until the police arrive.”Dante laughs, almost dropping his beer in the process. “Seriously? His own people betrayed him?”

Lady giggles and picks up some chips, “Yup, and he was sobbing like a baby when they dragged him away because he was ‘so heartbroken about it.” 

Dante shakes his head, “Crying over penguins. That’s not even the most dangerous exhibit to break into.”

Lady eats some chips before asking, “Oh? And what exhibit would that be?”

“Easy, tiger. It’s also so much more exciting.”

Lady raises an eyebrow, “Do you have any experience with this?”

“Well…”

Lady gaped at him, “No way, you didn’t.” Dante just smirks at her. “You broke into a tiger exhibit?!”

“Technically, it’s called a tiger enclosure.”“What? How? Why?” Lady asks, clearly fascinated.

Dante smirk softens into a genuine smile, “Now that is a fun story. I was about 14 years old.”

~Dante was a very adventurous teenager. With no parents and no school to control him, he could do whatever he wanted. Within reason, of course, so that orphanage he was staying out wouldn’t kick him out. 

That didn’t mean he wouldn’t push the limit whenever possible. 

One day, the orphanage brought everyone to the zoo as a mandatory outdoor activity. He had a pretty okay time. It was nice to see all the animals and just have something to do that day. 

After lunch, the group went to watch the tiger show. Dante was fascinated by the trick the tiger did, jumping, climbing, and even swimming. The humans involved were okay, but they did block his view a few times. 

Near the end of the show, the tiger makes its way over to Dante. It stares at him with a look of curiosity, and Dante does the same. He reaches for it, but the glass separating them prevents him from petting the tiger. Dante sees that there is a small amount of space between the glass and tries to stick his finger through, but it is too small even for his thin fingers.

Dante frowns, this would not do. That tiger needs to be pet.

As the rest of the orphanage spends the bus ride talking about their experience to one another, Dante starts plotting his plan. 

~Once he gets back to his room in the orphanage, he packs his bag. He knows that this will probably get him kicked out if he got caught. Dante didn’t care, he was getting bored of this town anyway.

“Where are you headed, Tony?” his roommate asks.

“Somewhere, tell the lady at the desk that my bed is free,” Dante replies. He grabs his dad’s sword and runs out of the orphanage. 

He heads out, trying not to be seen by any police officer. He is lucky to have the cover of the night protecting him. 

As soon as he gets to the zoo, he ties his bag to his sword. He throws the sword over the gate and climbs over, his demon agility coming in quick handy. 

He lands near his bag and smiles at the scene. The sight of animals sleeping in the dim moonlight was fascinated. 

He makes his way over to the tiger enclosure and sees that the tigers are asleep. He slashes the lock with Rebellion. Dante pauses to take a moment to appreciate how nicely he cut the lock. 

The tigers wake up as he opens the door but this doesn’t stop Dante from going in. The tigers watch him as he stands in the middle of the cage with a huge grin on his face. The tiger from the show makes its way over. It stands in front of him, continuing to stare at it.

Dante reaches out and the tiger growls at him. Dante doesn’t flinch though and puts his hand on the tiger. He pets it gently and the tiger stops growling. After a few minutes, it begins to let out a purr. The other tigers notice this and move closer to Dante. They circle him but do not do anything else. 

Dante pets as many as he can, this is the best moment of his life.

“HEY! GET OUT OF THERE!”

The moment’s over.

Dante turns to see a security guard pointing a flashlight at him. One of the tigers growls and tackles the security guard to the ground and the guy screams. Dante uses this as a chance to escape but stops to wave goodbye to the tigers. He runs and barely makes it passed two security guards who come after him. He jumps over the fence and heads for the train station. He laughs when he looks over his shoulder and sees the guard struggling to unlock the gate.

Dante doesn’t stop running until he gets to the train station. He jumps the turnstile, timing it perfectly so when he lands he rolls onto the train just as the doors are closing. 

He flops into a seat in the empty late-night subway car and laughs some more. he gets comfortable and waits for the train to take him to the next city. 

~

“And that’s the whole story,” Dante says as he puts his now empty beer bottle on the table.  

“Wow, I have to say, I am impressed,” Lady adds before standing up and stretching, “I’m going to head to bed, I have an early job tomorrow. Goodnight, Tiger Boy.”Dante smiles as he watches her go; a small blush appears on his face. 

Maybe he should take Lady to the zoo someday.  

~

Taglist:

@maedousae @dxlpartyboat​ @therandornone​ @super-jump​ @mad-hatter-teacups  @strawderryst​​ @honor-strength-passion​ @cherryinerror​ @prinxe-nothing​

[akegatacchi]

Sense8 AU!aftg

In the honor of absolutlynothing I’ve decided to put out there one of the many au I have on my phone and archive it there

Big shout out to @a-m-peengoo and @bluesuederose for participating in this mess with genius lines and always be there to bear my 36 ideas per hour. We did a masterpiece girls.

Here we go it’s gonna be long

The cluster:

Kevin: Nomi. He’s just a fuckin hacker who’s running away from his family (riko). When he’s bored, he spends nights crashing the Pentagon system for fun, and makes every screen in the White House play Best Exy Actions Compilation (the longest and hardest part is choosing one compilation to play).

Dan: Will. One of them have to keep them under control. Plus, Dan with a gun i can’t even-

Matt: Riley. Soft, blue strand of hair, a heart of gold, maternal. As a DJ. Yes. SO SOFT (he still knows how to box)

Allison: Capheus. Listen. Imagine Allison in high heels, skin tight leather pants, driving a bus. Also, a F1 pilot champion who can drive anything (even if it’s the first time)

Andrew: Wolfgang. Duh. Do I need to explain myself. Just think abt him saying “This is Berlin. Those are my people. And we go to our knees for no one”.Boy he does NOT like this situation, at all. Will keep the others out with sheer willpower and no blockers. The cluster’s deadliest weapon. PLUS HELLO???? ANDREW IN A PASTEL PINK BOMBER SHOOTING ON A HELICOPTER WITH A BAZOOKA????

Aaron: Felix? Sorta? not a senseate but a great doctor. Senses bullshit and when someone is in Andrew’s body real quick  (Andrew: says more than 2 sentences and is pleasant. Aaron:.....who’s that bitch where is my brother) . Later helps to manufacture blockers.

Neil: Kala. A pharmacist that uses his skill for arson and may or may not be running away from mafia/family matter and currently hiding in India. Him saying “Bring it, bitch” to Riko is my sexuality and Andrew’s. Can create explosives from a Fanta can and spices I mean it’s already canon in aftg. (plus andreil would work even better bc technically Neil can’t even touch Andrew for real)

Nicky: Lito. The drama, the sass. Also the scene where he discovers the Twinyard in Germany are his cousins would be hilarious. The scene where Lito seduces the nurse but with Nicky (“engaging into heterosexual activity? me????”) or the scene where Lito screams in the museum but with Nicky

Erik as Hernando. That’s it that’s the post.

Renee: Sun. I mean, a korean fighter lady in prison trying to be a better person and had a silent bffs relationship with a german gangster? Come on. Also. Allison in a bus and Renee doing art martials stuff. 

Riko: whispers i guess he can eat Allison’s high heels

Now the ~scenes~ (it’s just shitposting):

Aaron, on the verge on several break downs: wait so you have like … DJ Blue Matt and F1 pilot Allison Reynolds in your head? since when? ANDREW SINCE WHE-

*

Neil: what’s a better use of a multiple thousands dollars education than precise arson?????

*

Aaron: why does your boyfriend always end up burning things up?

Andrew: he lits up my heart as well

Aaron: FOR FUCK SAKE

*

Kevin, shocked and betrayed: is there a better sport than exy?

Aaron and Allison: YEAH A REALLY GOOD CAR RACE

*

Allison: you’re - you’re like the spirit of Lucy Liu. In Charlie’s Angels. I watch it once a day. Renee:.....that’s sweet actually :) 

*

Neil: does a molotov cocktail

Matt: I tHoUgHt yOu wErE a PhArMaCiSt

Neil: Yes? That’s PHYSICS

Matt: no that’s ARSON NEIL

Alternative:

Kevin: breaks into the Pentagon virtually

Neil: breaks into the Pentagon physically

Matt, again: i thought you were a PHARMACIST!!!! Neil: Yes I am??? That’s irrelevant

*

A senseate sibling, escaping, grabbing a vehicle at random: someone knows how to drive that?

Allison, in stilettos : no, but I sure will soon

*

Just Allison driving Renee around to fight people

*

Everytime someone mocks a senseate sibling Neil or Nicky shows up to roast them. Sometimes they do it both at the same time. It’s apocalyptic. The sass. The drama. 

They can also bullshit their way out of any situation. Neil is such a smooth liar and Nicky is just ridiculous. The FBI agent charged to arrest them somehow ends up crying abt childhood trauma while hugging a teddy bear.

Neil, caught in the act of making a string of explosives by the FBI guy: uuuuuuh….Nicky?

Nicky, currently dealing with a white mom in retail: somehow convince the FBI to buy christmas lights

(Yes Nicky works in retail bc his family cut ties with him but he hopes to be an actor.ON BROADWAY)

(From retail to actor to cluster negotiator real quick)

A  fuckin moron to Allison: a hottie like you driving a bus? what is this, hooker on wheels?

Neil: please let me have this one

Allison: seats back and enjoys Neil roasting him

Nicky: brings the popcorn

Nicky, to the FBI guy: You can’t arrest me Daryl I’m your long lost little brother

The FBI guy, a white man: My name is not Daryl Neil: THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE

The FBI guy, texting Neil (don’t ask): I guess I’m still in love with my ex

Nicky: aaaaaw we have to help this sweetheart

Neil: do you want me to burn his current boyfriend’s car, buddy?

(Nicky: DON’T REMIND HIM THAT HE’S SUPPOSED TO ARREST US)

*

A fuckin homophobe: ready to get your ass kicked, faggot?

Andrew: appears through Nicky

Nicky, smiling: fuck yeah, baby 

*

Andrew, between two bazooka shot, to Neil:  we’re nothing

*

Nicky, through Andrew, all cheery: Hi!!!! :D

(Aaron jumps like a scared cat)

*

Andrew: ready to kill ppl for mafia business

All the senseate siblings in the back minus Renee, eating popcorn and enjoying the show: Kick ass, Drew!

*

Andrew, on the hospital bed: has an emotional moment with Aaron

Aaron: sir or ma'am, idk who you are but it’s family only, I will ask you, as his doctor, to leave my brother’s body

*

Aaron: Andrew is2g if you’re making psychic love to that fuckin red hair rn i will-

*

Andrew each time a senseate is hurt: Aaron it’s for you

(Just Aaron doing med tutorials for a whole cluster while Andrew repeats it with a bored tone to everyone)

(Aaron, sighs: it is Neil again? Just let him bleed for a few minutes)

*

Neil, making bomb with kitchen stuff: If it means losing you then no

Andrew, falling in love: oh

*

Bad guy: You have no weapon, blondie!

Allison, with Renee and Dan behind her: Think again, sweetheart

*

They made a little “honorary cluster member” badge to Aaron (he does not cry STFU NEIL)

*

Dan and Neil both knows by heart the laws of different countries…..for very different reasons.

*

Luther: humiliates Nicky once again

Renee: calmly breaks his hand at dinner while smiling like an angel, all the while stopping Andrew from killing him with the other hand

*

Neil, a pharmacist: blowing shit up and arson

Aaron, a doctor, watching him: yk what hold my beer I know several ways to stop a man’s heart

*

The whole “You don’t know how to use a gun” “No, but you do” with andreil or matt and dan

*

Just Drew and Renee kicking some mafia asses together as buddies

(While Neil blows some shit up in the background and Allison/Nicky cheer)

*

Matt has the perfect ear too

Him and Kevin are the remote operation/communication team but one day all the fighters/criminals of the cluster are busy so they both start to fight as well and fuck they are good at it

Nicky: I expected this from Biceps Matt but Kevin??? You can land a kick like that???

Kevin, outraged: I WENT TO THE EXY OLYMPICS WHEN I WAS 16

*

Speaking of Kevin, they all call him “nerd” or “einstein”

Allison: so the nerd can fight uh

*

Aaron, counting down on his fingers: so you have F1 Pilot Superstar Allison Reynolds, former gold medalist and tech genius Kevin Day, a human diapason, a multilingual arsonist, World no.1 Taekwondo Champion Renee Walker, a cop, an actor…..what are you there for??

Andrew, literally a mafia king:....ice cream and crime?

*

Neil to Andrew, after the whole debacle with his father is out: You did know there were mafia out of Germany too, right?

Andrew: I can’t even have that for myself fuck this family

*

Dan, every time before each “mission”: okay guys I know we need to do it but I’d like to remind ALL of you *looks pointly at Neil and Andrew* it’s STILL illegal and morally dubious

Neil: …….like I said to Nicky, irrelevant *without missing a beat blows up the entire building and puts on stolen Gucci shades*

Alternative:

Neil: ok saint theresa why were you the one to suggest we explode Riko’s brain off then

Dan: ...don’t turn the conversation around me it’s about you

*

Allison “guess we’re detourning a place next” Reynolds and Kevin “It’s not that hard to pilot” Day

(Kevin: But why are you on a plane to Russia? I thought you were in India last time?

Neil:....don’t ask)

*

Aaron to Andrew, where they are trapped and betrayed: your boyfriend wouldn’t happen to know how to poison a whole room with gaz?

Neil: I was born for this moment

(Andrew: just bc you’re my brother doesn’t mean you have the right to dirty talk my boyfriend)

*

Andrew: be gay, do crime and eat ice cream

Nicky: AND BLOW NEIL’S D-

*

(before they know abt Neil’s past, when Andrew is angsty bc he caught feelings)

Andrew: You  shouldn’t get close to me, it’s dangerous, i’m mafia

Neil: oh haven’t you heard-

*

Jeremy, bouncing out of nowhere: Hey Kev ! Love how you BI-nary code ahah have you heard of the ARCHIPELAGO 

*

Neil, sipping tea: so my father is the Butcher

Matt:  okokokok coolcoolcoolcool yk what arson doesn’t sound like a bad idea after all

*

(this one is not funny sorry) but Neil taking over each time someone is hurt bc he is used to deal with it

“Give the pain to me”

*

Andrew and Aaron like to fuck around a lot with the whole sensate stuff (since only one of them is a sensate)

Bad guy: only one of you is a sensate, which one is it?

Twinyard, in a perfect and flat tone: try to guess

A bad guy is spying on Andrew and waiting to kill him in Germany, via a cam, thinking he’s safe BUT SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER it was aaron dressed as Andrew in a mafia meeting and now you have to deal with a 5 feet tall mafia boy

*

For real tho they are a little protective of the normal doctor who heal them every time (yes even Neil but don’t tell him) so you bet something like that happens one day:

Aaron: comes home from work angry

Andrew, cleaning up blood or counting money: whassup shithead?

Aaron: There’s this older doctor he’s great and all but he’s a fuckin asshole to me he belittles me everyday bc i’m young and we lost a patient today bc he rathers humiliate me than let me save him 

Andrew, a dangerous glint in his eyes and a whole cluster behind him: oh?

Kevin, opens his computer and digs up dirt on him: give me a sec

Allison: I can roll over him with my truck

Neil: there is so many ways to mix two meds and kills him ON ACCIDENT

Dan: let’s see how he deals in prison

Nicky: oh this is going to be fun

Kevin, reciting facts like he’s reading a grocery list: so yeah he smuggles meds from the hospital so local drug dealers, illegally sells meds for himself on the black market, does tax evasion, is friend with a local senator and both of them are involved with minors….i have already several reservation at X hotel btw and cases of work harassment on nurses and interns, threats to others older doctors in serve, and OH. OH. We have a spanking kink on our hands too.

Every members of the cluster, turning to Nicky and Neil:....go wild

Nicky, giggling: not that’s it’s a shame when it’s consensual but not here so - let’s start with the spanking :D

Neil: Can I make him cry

No violence is used but the doctor is found on the floor drowning in his own tears after a few minutes and after an hour he’s resigned and leaving the country

Andrew was dressed as Aaron for that (that being: smuggling Neil and Nicky into the hospital to meet the doctor through him)  and sends him a selfie of a 5 feet surgeon and the man crying on the floor 

It’s their best memory as a family (Aaron hates Neil a little less after that)

Neil to Nicky: why did you stop me from pushing towards suicide??? He’s gonna do that in another country

(Kevin: no if I can help it)

Nicky: bc we don’t do that to people!

Neil, Andrew, Aaron, Allison:...........right

Neil: killing even indirectly is no good but destroying their life and humiliating them publically is good?

Nicky: YES!

Matt and Dan: WAIT NO

(Allison: don’t brother Neil you’ll just hurt your head)

(Neil, close to tears: but...but...but arson?? Andrew, with knives out: alright fuckers who broke his heart?)

*

Matt and Dan bc they’re fuckin weak to Neil: ITS OK BUDDY ARSON IS GOOD

*

I have to end on this note:

Storyline wise, Neil would have make the perfect Wolfgang too….if Wolfgang was a twink.

[dinglemingle]

Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy)

Chapter 5 

TW: Drug use + dealing TW: Vomit TW: Violence

This chapter contains explicit language.

Saturday mornings were not the time to be standing outside McDonald's whilst your dodgy mate dealed, but here Aaron was, freezing his arse off for a couple of quid.

To be honest, he'd hardly class Ross Barton as a mate, he'd only know him a few weeks, but he needed the money and Ross was more than happy to cut him in if he helped. A life of crime wasn't what Aaron had in store, but for the time being, it gave him enough money to not have to rely on his mum.

Relying on Chas was something you couldn't do, she'd make a promise then never see it through, or swear she only needed a fiver but somehow leave with twenty, which was of course never repaid. He did love his mum, and she tried her best, but her overbearing nature and mother knows best attitude could be a lot to handle sometimes.

He used to think he was the luckiest kid, to have Chas and Paddy, but by the time he'd hit 15 he realised how patronising they both were. Paddy had gotten worse in recent years, trying to manipulate him and overacting when he put the smallest foot out of line. Aaron knew he was just being protective, it didn't stop him from getting frustrated every time Paddy tried to control his life.

He still viewed Paddy as a father figure, still idolised him, he didn't think that would ever change, despite everything. Paddy had taken him in and loved him as his own, even now that Leo was here, he still made time. Add to that the fact that Paddy was the only one he'd spoken to about being gay

Aaron hadn't fully admitted it, not quite comfortable enough yet. He managed to confess his attraction to lads however and his curiosity. Paddy had been great, promised not to tell anyone and that he still loved him. Aaron didn't care, even telling one person had been too much, so they'd dropped the subject and never spoke of it again. Aaron preferred it that way, he didn't want all the attention that came with coming out or being the only gay in the village, still, he always noticed Paddy's watchful eye when he so much as looked at another boy

In a way, Paddy had helped him feel more comfortable, so he felt like he owed the man, couldn't write him off, no matter how pushy he could be. It was sort of an impossible situation, one he often kept at the back of his mind.

The thought however was interpreted when Ross emerged from the corner, cash in hand, grin up to his ears.

"There you are" he stuffed £40 into Aaron's hand and patted his shoulder

"Right so-" Aaron began, the ringing of Ross's Nokia cut him off

Ross retrieved the phone from his coat and gave Aaron the signal to wait

"Alright mate" Ross started

Aaron felt a bit useless, just stood there

"Outside Maccies mate, be there in a bit yeah" Ross continued, talking to the unknown source

He nodded a bit before finishing the call

"Right sound" he put the phone away and turned to Aaron

"Come on, we're picking up then dropping off" He spun back around and made his way towards the bus station, Aaron closely following behind

Bus journeys were usually calming for Aaron, not this one though, as Ross painfully made small talk, going on about which girls had the nicest tits and had Aaron got any recently? Of course, he had replied with "Yes Ross, in fact, it was your younger brother in a dingy wood."

The pick up had somehow been worse, a bunch of lads Aaron only knew from their bad reputations, who had somehow made friends with Ross in the five minutes he'd been in Yorkshire

Aaron didn't speak, just stood waiting for Ross to hurry up. He wasn't scared of the lads, but the knowledge that they'd batter him if they knew who he was made him feel uneasy

After what felt like 10 years Ross appeared from the kitchen, a shed load of drugs stashed in his coat

Soon they were back on the bus, this journey being silent, thank god, and at Tanya Holden's house

She opened the door with that sour-faced look that was glued to her like a bad stain. Her mega-rich parents were away for the weekend,so the beer bottles and bodies lying around weren't much of a surprise

"Ah babe why didn't you invite me" Ross signalled to the clear remnants of a party whilst trying to hug Tanya

"Piss off" was her response, as he pushed him away

Ross laughed and held his hands up, Aaron was still in the doorway, hating being there, feeling all the more awkward as Tanya had of course been one of the girls Ross deemed "shaggable" on the bus

She noticed his presence

"This one don't speak?" She questioned, reaching for her purse

Aaron's cheeks flushed

"Oh he's shy" Ross approached, pinching his pink cheeks

Aaron batted his hands away, rolling his eyes

Ross laughed again "soft lad"

Tanya had pulled out some money and was waving it in Ross' face

"The stuff?" she questioned

Ross didn't hesitate before producing a few bags

Coke, Aaron thought, to be honest, he didn't know, or maybe he just didn't care

Sometime between leaving Tanya's and getting the bus back to town, Ross had mentioned a party that night, he'd only been invited because he had drugs, and he thought Aaron might be up for it

Up for it wasn't how Aaron felt at all, but he appreciated the offer, and he'd grown tired of spending his Saturday's third-wheeling with Vic and Adam, so at half-past 8, he was in the back of a Vauxhall Corsa with Ross, on the way to god knows where, pockets stuffed with Ket

Midnight was fast approaching and Aaron was positively off his face. He hadn't gotten this high in a long time, preferring the odd joint over a full-on bender.

There was a time this would be his usual weekend activity, but he'd moved on from that crowd and away from nights spent in A&N with sick down his shirt.

At age 15 he'd had his stomach pumped 4 times and was already dealing and nicking anything he could find, an attempt to make a few quid quid so he could go and buy more drugs.

The life of crime had soon caught up with him, when he'd been battered by the McFarlanes for a deal gone wrong. It was after this that he packed it all in.

Yet here he was again, falling back into bad habits, stumbling through a crowd of drunk teenagers and a couple of blokes who looked way to old to be knocking back dark fruits with 16 year olds.

Before long he'd found himself in the bathroom of whoever the fucks house this was. Alone with his thoughts his mind began racing, Aaron couldn't decide if it was because of the substances or the blonde boy he hadn't seen in over two weeks.

Well, that was a lie, of course, it was, Aaron couldn't escape seeing Robert, he was constantly there, sauntering through the halls, or snogging Chrissie in the common room

But Aaron hadn't actually seen Robert, not properly. He hadn't seen him up at the farm, getting chastised by Jack, or on a night out, sat dazed in the toilets, rambling about bullshit whilst he scrolled through his phone.

He hadn't seen the cocky glint in his eye or the smug smirk. And it was bothering him

Ever since that day at the unused classroom it was like a switch had gone off in Robert. There were no snarky comments or digs coming Aaron's way anymore. He didn't want to get carried away but he could've sworn Robert was avoiding him.

Maybe he'd touched a nerve,he didn't know, and quite frankly he didn't care what the reason was,he was just pissed off.

Sure he didn't like Robert telling him to fuck off or taking the piss out of his cheap trainers, but this was awful

This, god this was so much worse.

The constant impenetrable silence, the complete of avoidance of each other everywhere they went,it was killing him. Aaron craved Roberts attention, he craved the rush of Robert calling his name or the way they'd bicker in the canteen.

Aaron hadn't realised just how much he relied on Robert to feel a buzz. Sure a part of him hated arguing with the prick,but these last few weeks he'd realised he absolutely loved it as well

At that moment, as he collapsed into an empty bathtub, ribs aching and vision blurred from aggressive strobe lights, Aaron realised he'd rather hate Robert for the rest of his life then never have anything with him at all

As if by some sick force of nature Robert Sugden himself stumbled into the bathroom,fly already down, beelining for the toilet before he wet himself and spoiled his new Ralph Lauren jeans

Aaron's eyes looked as the tall hazy blonde raced passed him and for a split second believed Robert himself was a god and that the heavens must be real

Others would say it was the ridiculously large number mushrooms he'd consumed earlier that evening

"What the fuck" Aaron's dreams of god's and angel's were disturbed by a visibly startled Robert,who was staring at him, jeans at the knees and white briefs protecting his modesty

Aaron would be lying if he said he didn't look, after all, he had to confirm if the rumours were true

"Fuck off Dingle!" Shit. There it was, just like that Aaron was sober, his eyes wide open as he realised that Robert really was there, in front of him and he desperately clambered out of the bath and through the door,which expectantly closed with a loud bang and a murmur of "for fucks sake" and "can't take a piss in peace"

Once back downstairs, though not really remembering how he'd got there, Aaron had headed straight for the kitchen for another drink, he didn't like this sudden sobriety, in a strange sort of way it left him feeling naked, vulnerable, unable to hide behind the mask of a drunk persona.

He'd downed a Budweiser,two dark fruits and done 4 vodka shots when he next saw Robert. The blonde was making his way into the living room from the garden, sweat glistening his forehead and quite clearly fucked out of his mind.

He stumbled in through the doors, leaving mud stains on a perfectly beige carpet, though at this point everyone was far too pissed to care and in true Robert fashion had gone flying into Brandon Keene, Hotten's biggest wanker, spilling his Stella (typical) all over his definitely underage girlfriend

Without a moment to spare, Robert was flying through a crowd of people and crash landing onto the couch, nose gushing with blood after being punched right in the face

Suddenly a crowd of drunken teens had formed and all began chanting fight! fight! fight!

Aaron rolled his eyes as Robert charged at Brandon, wrestling him to the floor

Aaron didn't even know why Brandon was there, he'd left college two years earlier and was known for being a nasty gobshite. Last Aaron heard he'd swanned off to Liverpool with a new modelling job. Obviously not

Within mere minutes a couple of punches had been thrown and the sweaty bodies around him had almost duplicated, Aaron decided it was too much hassle and too much noise and made the motion to leave.

Robert had other ideas,he'd looked up from being smacked by the twat on top of him and locked eyes with Aaron right as he decided to go.

Aaron couldn't quite pinpoint what it was in Robert's eyes. Fear? Anguish? Desperation? Whatever it was it saw Aaron pulling off Brandon with all of his might, and throwing him as far into the crowd as humanly possible

When he turned round Robert was already stood smugly in the centre of the living room like he hadn't just been beaten to a pulp

That's when the tidal wave of drugs, alcohol and the way Roberts nose had been rearranged from the rest of his face came over him and he threw up everywhere

The carpet was a mix of sweat, blood and tears quite literally,and now Aaron's sick

He'd never been bothered by blood and gore but the heat and the intensity of everything got that better of him and it was too late to do anything

He turned to see Robert stood there with his sick all over his shirt and shoes

Aaron felt like he'd be sick again. The music became all blurry and he vaguely caught snippets of the abuse Robert hurled his way

His fists were sweaty and his head was spinning he felt like he was losing control. The weight of the room collapsed on his shoulders as he saw the camera flashes and heard the sniggers. The air in his lungs vanished as he desperately pushed through the crowd, never having been so mortified on his life.

He'd escaped with Roberts voice echoing "you fucking freak" over and over and over again as he collapsed halfway down the street, hot tears brutally spilling from his red eyes. The night air hit him violently,he'd left his jacket somewhere in there

But he couldn't go back. No

He'd just thrown up on Robert. Fucking Robert. In Front of half of his college

Aaron physically felt his stomach churn,but not because he was going to be sick, but because he'd never felt so ashamed,so stupid, in that moment he wanted to disappear.

So he got up and ran through the streets,crying, humiliated,the cold air shaking him, and he didn't stop til he got to some random kebab shop in town, where he'd sat on the pavement,with no jacket,no money,only his dead phone and a trackie pocket full of shitty receipts for two hours before a stranger let him use their phone

And when at 1:27 am he'd buried himself in the passenger seat of his uncle Cain's car, no questions asked,he declared officially that he fucking hated Robert Sugden,but more importantly,

he hated himself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaron spent the weekend at Cain's, much to Chas' dismay but he really didn't care, he felt awful and he knew his mum would only pry

He'd charged his phone, but had avoided it all weekend for fear of seeing what people had said

It was at 1:44 am on Monday when he'd finally plucked up the courage to turn his phone on when he saw a text from a familiar yet distant number

Sorry,R

[lost-n-stereo]

A/N: For anon who prompted me “Hallie+Sunshine”. Have a little 4th of July summer fic :)

and the sparks start flying (like the fourth of july)

She gets invited on a camping trip the first week of June, and when she says an invite she means that she quite literally received an e-vite from Helena through Facebook. There’s a group page and everything, with people RSVP’ing and talking about what alcohol they are going to bring and which campsites around the state are the best.

It’s not surprising to see the usual suspects on the list of people going. If Helena is setting it up that means that Luke is definitely going, since they are engaged and it’s just sort of a given. If Luke’s going then Clark and Jason will tag along with their girlfriends, and if the girls go then all of their friends will too. It’s a bit of a surprise to Allie though when she sees Harry RSVP and she kind of wants to comment on his post about how boat shoes aren’t generally camping attire but it feels shitty and she doesn’t want to be a dick for no reason.

The trip is planned for Fourth of July weekend, which is a little cliché but she doesn’t mind all that much. She orders a new tent off Amazon and an expensive pair of hiking boots because she’s not sure where exactly they are going yet but she feels like she should be prepared for anything. Becca calls her and asks if they should do some bathing suit shopping before the trip and they spend the day trying on different suits and drinking their daily calories in the form of food court smoothies.

It’s one of those rare times that the fourth falls on a weekend, so she takes the Friday before and the Monday after off from work and thanks the gods above that she works with a majority of older people that don’t care about the holiday weekend. They decided on a state park that has campgrounds that will fit all of them, she thinks it’s nearing twenty plus people going at last count, and a giant lake with tons of water sports and activities to do. She heard a rumor that someone rented out the entire stretch of sites on one side of the lake so they wouldn’t be bothered. No one said it was Harry but she can make an educated guess that was his doing.

There’s an honest to god party bus taking a large group of people to the lake but she decides to hitch a ride with Elle instead. The girl has a kick ass Jeep with no doors and it feels good flying down the highway with their camping gear piled high in the back and old school hip hop blaring out of the radio. Elle takes a sharp turn into the campground’s parking lot and Allie laughs as her body jerks out of the open door and her hair flies into her face as they jerk to a stop.

“You’re an absolute maniac,” Allie says on a laugh as they unbuckle their seat belts. “I fucking love it.”

Elle just flashes a grin and gets to work on unloading her tent from the back of the Jeep.

“Need some help?”

Allie rolls her eyes at the sound of Harry’s voice behind her and he’s grinning and eating an apple with a pocket knife when she turns around.

“I think we got it, thanks.”

He just shrugs, throws her a wink before heading over to where a group of people are unloading cases of beer out of the back of someone’s pickup. The parking lot is a madhouse. People are everywhere and Allie wonders in amusement if Helena is currently freaking out because there definitely were not this many RSVP’s in her Facebook group.

As if she conjured up the woman herself, Helena rushes up to Allie with a panicked look on her face. There are people Allie’s never seen falling out of backseats in fits of giggles, girls running around in barely there bikinis and dude-bros in board shorts lining up shots on the tailgate of a truck. It’s like a very cliché music video set to the sound of Post Malone pumping from someone’s car speakers.

“Are you seeing this shit?”

Allie laughs and reaches behind the seat for her backpack. “Yeah, it’s nuts. Who even are all these people?”

“Friends of friends,” Helena says, rolling her eyes as she takes a headcount. “There has to be over fifty people here already. It’s a good thing Harry rented so many campsites otherwise we’d be totally fucked.”

It’s the first confirmation she’s heard of Harry being the party benefactor but it doesn’t surprise her at all. He was always the one throwing giant parties in high school. His parents even rented an entire hotel for their senior prom, not just a banquet hall but the entire fucking thing.

“Let’s just be thankful no families with children will have to be in a tent next to that.” Allie points with her chin to where Lexie is currently pushed up against the side of a Suburban with a guy kissing down the column of her throat. “So much for a low key camping trip, ‘Lena.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Harry says, coming up to them with a Stella bottle hanging between his fingers. She wonders why he’s just randomly popping up when she knows his friends are here somewhere. Allie notices for the first time that he’s wearing flip flops, briefly stunned by the sight of his sort of bare feet. She’s not sure if she’s ever seen this man’s toes in the entire time they’ve known each other. The four years since high school have been good to him but that’s not a surprise. He has unimaginable wealth and a great job on top of that so she’s not shocked that he’s doing so well for himself so soon after graduating.

She went to school for accounting, ended up at a decent firm after graduating where the median age is mid forties, but she’s living in Brooklyn now which she loves and that’s what counts. Last she heard Harry was living in Manhattan but she doesn’t go that way often and someone like him probably wouldn’t be caught dead in her neighborhood.

Not that she cares or anything because what Harry Bingham does with his time has nothing to do with her.

“Better hope you get your deposit back,” Allie quips as she grabs a bottle of water out of her pack. Harry holds up his beer and asks if she wants one of her own. “No, Harry. It’s like nine-thirty in the morning. And don’t even say it’s five o’clock somewhere.”

Harry chuckles and takes a deep pull from the bottle. She shouldn’t think it’s sexy how he licks his lips after but well, it is. He smirks a little like he knows what she’s thinking and she rolls her eyes.

“I wasn’t going to,” he tells her. “I was just going to remind you that it’s Friday, you’re not at work at that stuffy job you go to every day, and it’s a fucking holiday. Enjoy yourself for once, Pressman.”

There’s not an ounce of heat in his words but it still cuts a little because she has fun, thank you very much. She might spend a lot of time in her studio apartment and she may only have a small group of good friends but she’s happy and that’s what matters. Helena just looks between them with her eyebrows raised, as if she’s waiting for world war three to start right there in the parking lot but Allie just shrugs, grabs the beer from his hand and chugs the rest of it before using her thumb to wipe foam from the side of her lip. Her heart pounds a little as Harry tracks the movement with laser focus and then she’s the one smirking, pushing the empty bottle into his chest.

“Looks like you need a refill.”

The absolute shock on his face makes her feel better than it probably should and Helena’s jaw is practically on the floor.

“Well played, Pressman.” Harry tilts his bottle towards her in what may be a show of respect and leaves again without a word.

“What the hell was that?” Helena presses when he’s out of earshot. Allie just shrugs, asks Helena if she’d mind helping her grab her tent out of the back of the Jeep so she can set up camp somewhere.

***

It’s dark when the real crazy stuff starts to happen.

There’s a group of people running around naked because someone thought it would be a good idea to go skinny dipping in a national park. Allie is pretty sure there are supposed to be park rangers patrolling but she supposes it wouldn’t be hard for a certain someone to grease a few palms to keep them away for the night.

Speak of the devil…

“You look like you could use a drink.”

An ice cold White Claw drops into her lap and she gasps, her thighs bare since she’s just in a bikini top and denim cutoffs.

“What in the fuck, Harry!”

He just laughs, drops down beside her in a pair of bright orange board shorts and nothing else. “Just paying you back for that little stunt with my beer this morning.”

Allie rolls her eyes, pops the cap of the cocktail and drinks half of it in one go. “You deserved that. You’re always antagonizing me. Been that way since we were kids.”

“Bullshit,” he says but when she looks at him out of the corner of her eye he’s grinning a little, fingers playing with the string of his shorts. It’s fucking distracting. “Maybe I was flirting.”

Her cheeks heat a little but she knows Harry, has known him practically all her life. Maybe sometimes things he’s done could be considered flirting but that’s only because he flirts with everyone.

“I’m sure,” she says, finishing off the drink and tossing the can into a bin nearby designated for recycling. “Shouldn’t you be over there with your friends?”

“They aren’t as fun to fuck with as you are.” 

Allie points at him. “Ah! So you admit you like fucking with me!” 

There’s no denying his eyes go a little dark and then she’s wishing that she could take that back because now it just sounds dirty. She’s expecting a dirty comment in return but that’s not at all what she gets.

“Maybe I just like talking to you. Maybe…”

She tilts her head a little when he doesn’t continue. “Maybe what, Harry?”

His teeth scrape across his bottom lip a little as he thinks but then he shakes his head like he’s literally trying to erase a thought from his mind. He stands up abruptly, brushes a little dirt and sand off his board shorts and throws her a casual wink.

“It’s nothing. Have a good night, Al.”

***

She wakes up with the hangover from hell and finds herself cuddled in between Sam and Grizz.

“What the shit?”

Grizz mumbles a little, presses his nose into the back of her neck and she giggles. “Shhh, you’re so comfortable and my brain is heavy.”

It makes no sense at all but she also completely gets it because her brain feels heavy too. It’s hot as fuck in this tent, which she realizes now is not her own. She tries to piece together what happened after Harry left her the night before. Not that she got blackout drunk or anything but she did let Becca and Grizz talk her into Jägerbombs which are never a good idea.

Sam’s eyes blink open and then he smiles and it reminds her of the sleepovers they used to have as kids. She signs, asks him if he wants some coffee and he nods, so she gets up to go find the little brew pot that Helena said she was bringing.

She can see the row of little camp areas stretching all the way down to the end of the lake, each with its own barbecue and campfire area. Every site can fit three or four tents and the one she set her tent up in is shared with Grizz and Sam, Helena and Luke, and Becca. Grizz’s tent is huge with multi rooms and she knows it’s probably because he’s really into spending time outdoors, fishing and camping all over the state. What they are all doing this week borders somewhere on glamping, because she’s almost positive she saw someone set up portable solar panels to run some gaming station and a small television. 

There’s a pack of water bottles next to their makeshift “kitchen” by the campfire so she grabs one, empties it into the brew pot and waits for it to get hot so she can make coffee for her and her friends. Most of the campsites are quiet, which makes sense because it’s eight in the morning and the party raged until at least six this morning. When the coffee is ready she brings a cup to Sam, who puts a finger to his lips and nods to Grizz, who’s already passed out again. Allie grins, hands him the cup and signs have a good morning to him before quietly leaving the tent. 

“Top of the morning to you, Pressman.” 

Harry is helping himself to a cup of coffee from the pot and Allie rolls her eyes. “Don’t you have someone else to bug this morning, Bingham?” 

“I like bugging you more,” he says with a smirk and she doesn’t miss the way he doesn’t say maybe like he did the night before. It’s like he’s finally acknowledging the fact that he’s always trying to get under her skin. She used to think it was because he was annoyed by her but after last night she wonders if maybe she was wrong about that. “Cup of coffee?” 

Allie huffs and takes it from him. “I made that for me and my friends, if you couldn’t tell.” 

Harry puts on a fake pout, which makes his lips look really fucking good and she tries to ignore the little flutter in her stomach when she notices it. “I’m hurt, Al. I thought we were friends?” 

“Why are you even up this early?” She asks, ignoring the question of their friendship. It’s not that they aren’t friendly but they aren’t exactly hanging out on weekends either. Which...okay so she knows they are quite literally hanging out on a weekend right now but that doesn’t count. They have just always known each other, from him being in the same class all through school as Cassandra. She remembers one year when they were science partners and he was at their house once a week during the second semester to complete a project. Cassandra had complained about him being lazy and incompetent but Allie knows he put effort into it because she’d sometimes hang out in the kitchen while they worked and he was always putting in his own ideas just to have her sister throw them out. Which, if you know her sister, is par for the course on pretty much everything. 

“Work hours,” Harry says with a roll of his eyes. “No matter what I do or how late I stay up the night before I’m always up at sunrise. What about you?” 

“Same,” she admits. “I feel like a total bum if I sleep past ten.” 

They both laugh and she realizes they are actually having a conversation, even if it’s stupid and doesn’t really mean anything. But he’s not picking on her and she’s not throwing attitude back at his snark and it’s actually sort of nice. 

“So I hear we have a busy day this morning,” he says as he lowers himself into a folding chair that’s set up near the unlit campfire. “Helena has planned our day down to the minute, it seems.” 

Allie chuckles, pulls up a chair and sets it near him but where she can still see his face. “Sounds like my girl.” 

“Actually it’s my girl,” Luke says from behind her and they all laugh. “You made coffee? Allie, you’re a lifesaver.” 

When she looks at Harry she sees a little flash of disappointment in his eyes and she can’t help but wonder if it’s because it’s not just the two of them anymore.

She also wonders if the same look of disappointment flashes in her own eyes when Harry gets up, tells them he’s off to get ready for the day, and leaves her and Luke to wake up the rest of their friends. 

***

Her feet hurt. 

It was Helena’s idea to take a drive up the road to a hiking trail less than ten minutes away from the lake. And while Allie might have remembered to purchase new hiking boots what she forgot to do was break them in before wearing them. 

“You look miserable,” Harry comments as they move up the trail, which just seems to go up and up and up. He’s not even breaking a sweat and she sees well worn boots on his feet which surprises her. “When was the last time you went hiking?” 

“Um...never?” 

Harry chuckles and pulls her to the side, his hand on her arm as he guides her to a large rock just off the path. “Let me help,” he says, kneeling down in front of her and unlacing her boot. Helena passes by, eyebrows high, but Harry just waves her off, tells the group they will catch up. 

“What are you doing?” Her voice is far more breathless than she wants it to be but holy shit, Harry Bingham is crouched in front of her, picking up her sore foot delicately and placing it on his knee. 

“Helping,” he says simply as he unlaces her boot and works it off her right foot, followed by her sock. After repeating the same steps with her other foot, he places them gently on the ground before standing in front of her. “Lift your legs.” 

“Excuse me?” Her face flushes but he just smirks, grabs each foot and places them on his thighs with her knees together.

“You need to elevate your feet,” he explains as he positions her just so. “It’ll work, trust me.” 

They probably look ridiculous, him standing in front of her with a pair of dark sunglasses covering his eyes and his hair a ruffled mess and her perched on a rock with her feet on his legs. But he wasn’t wrong and after a few minutes she can feel the pain lessening by the second. 

“How long do I have to do this?” 

Harry looks down at his watch. “About fifteen minutes and we’ve been here for eight so get comfortable.” 

Allie laughs and tilts her head back. “You’re not sitting on the hardest rock known to man. My bony ass can’t handle this.”

“Your ass isn’t that bony,” he says but it’s not an insult, she can tell. It’s definitely a compliment, and a heated one at that.

“Spend a lot of time checking out my ass, Bingham?” 

Harry just shrugs, a little grin playing on his lips as he looks down at her. Her cheeks heat again and she rolls her eyes for something to do because she’s not exactly sure what to say back. The last thing she expected this morning was to be hiking with Harry, who’s apparently some sort of expert, and then have him basically admit to checking her out before. 

“We should catch up with everyone,” she says a few minutes later and he checks his watch again, nods and moves her legs carefully so she can put her shoes and socks back on. “Thanks,” she says quietly as she flexes her toes. “That really did help.” 

“You should trust me more often.” He puts a hand out for her to grab and she accepts, ignores the little electricity she feels when her skin touches his. It’s hard not to be attracted to someone like Harry, who exudes confidence in everything that he does. And he’s obviously not bad to look at even though he dresses like a future senator eighty percent of the time and wears his cockiness like a badge. He just keeps showing her these little sides of personality that she’s never seen before and frankly, it’s hard to ignore. 

They make up time quickly, thanks to Harry’s hiking skills and her mostly refreshed feet. When they reach the others everyone is standing at the top of the little mountain they just climbed, eyes focused on something in the distance. 

“What is everyone looking at?” Allie asks no one in particular but stops short with a little gasp when she takes in the view they are all gaping at. The entire lake is visible from their viewpoint, the crystal blue water shimmering in the mid afternoon sun. She can see their side of the lake, with people milling around the sites like little ants. There are boats pulling people on water skis and tons of water crafts making waves for people in floating inner tubes. The lake is surrounded by trees on three sides and Allie thinks it might be one of the most beautiful views she’s ever seen in real life. 

“This is breathtaking,” she says, mostly to herself, but then she feels a hand bump hers as Harry steps up next to her. 

“It sure is,” he says quietly, his eyes sliding from the view before them to her face and then back again. His pinkie touches the side of her hand just barely and the idea to reach over to hold his hand is sudden and unexpected. She doesn’t do it but she finds that she wants to and that confuses her even more.

***

“Fifty bucks says I can chug this entire bottle of Jack in under a minute!” 

Allie rolls her eyes as she passes by a group of guys that she went to high school with, all of them former jocks and not so bright. 

“Pretty sure fifty bucks isn’t going to be enough to get your stomach pumped,” she tosses back in their direction before heading towards the campfire that’s currently warming the majority of her friend group. 

After the hike they spent the day in the water, swimming and riding around on the Jet Skis that Helena had brought for the weekend. Harry offered to rent a boat to take them out but the boats were all rented out by the time they made it back to the lake.

“Tomorrow then,” he had said, dropping his credit card on the counter and winking at the girl making the reservations. Allie’d rolled her eyes and Harry had just laughed and winked at her too.

It’s hard not to notice that he looks really good right now, sitting by the fire with a bottle of beer hanging from his fingertips, his skin perfectly tanned from being in the sun all day. He’s wearing board shorts again but he finally put a shirt on, a white button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It annoys her that he can make anything look good. 

The little smile he gives her when she walks up to the fire pit is almost too much to handle. 

“Need a drink?” Becca asks, pushing a wine cooler into her hand before she can even answer. Allie laughs, thanks her and lowers herself into a chair that just happens to be next to Harry. He smirks a little around the mouth of his beer but doesn’t comment on where she chose to sit down. 

“When do the fireworks start?” She asks Helena, who checks her watch before pointing towards the west of the lake, where there’s no trees and wide open skies. 

“They will be over there in about an hour,” she says. “They won’t be super close because they are technically lit in town but we’ll see the show pretty clearly.” 

They sit around for the next forty minutes drinking and laughing around the fire. Luke and Clark decide to have a rock skipping competition and Allie laughs as everyone scurries around to find the perfect flat rock to enter. Right before the fireworks are about to start Harry nudges her, leans over so he’s almost whispering in her ear.

“Want to find somewhere quiet to watch the show?” 

Everyone around them is either drunk, searching for rocks or both, and no one is paying attention when she nods, stands up and tells him to lead the way. 

They walk side by side next to the lake heading away from the party that’s already raging despite the fact that it’s barely ten at night. Allie practically chokes when they pass a couple full on having sex against a tree and Harry laughs, steers them away from the obnoxious moaning and towards an empty spot on the beach. 

“I should have bought a blanket,” he complains as he settles in the sand and Allie smiles as she drops down next to him. 

“A little sand never hurt anyone. Don’t be a baby.” He quirks an eyebrow at her and she giggles, which she only does when she’s this side of perfectly drunk. 

Harry is quiet as he pulls his knees up and sits with his arms dangling in between them. “You’ve been different today,” he says so softly she can barely hear him. “More like you used to be.” 

“What does that mean?” She’s sitting cross legged and stays that way as she turns so she’s facing him. He just shrugs which makes her roll her eyes. “You’ve been different too.” 

“Oh yeah?” He asks with a raised eyebrow and she nods. “How so?” 

She snorts, leans back on her hands which makes her knees touch the side of his leg. “If you’re not going to tell me, why should I tell you?” 

“What are we, twelve?” He says on a laugh and she shrugs, giving him a dose of his own medicine. He sighs, like it’s a total inconvenience to explain something that he started anyways. “You were fun. Carefree.” 

“It was a good day,” she says and he nods. “And you were flirting with me, which is new.” It’s a bold statement because maybe he wasn’t, maybe it was just like all the other times when he was flirty because he’s Harry Bingham and that’s just how he is. He charms, it’s in his DNA. 

Harry scoffs a little and shakes his head like she’s missing something. “Me flirting with you is not new, Allie.” 

The way he says her name does something to her, the way she can see his tongue when his mouth forms the word. They aren’t saying anything, just staring at each other when the first boom of fireworks sounds off overhead. Neither of them startle or even really acknowledge the show going off above them. She likes the way the colors flash across his face, bright blue and neon pink, and before she realizes what’s happening he’s leaning forward, pressing his lips against hers quickly in a surprisingly gentle and innocent kiss. 

He pulls away first, rests his forehead on hers with a little smile playing on his face. 

“What was that?” The words are practically whispered, breath feather light over almost touching lips. 

“Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.” He doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t go to kiss her again, just smiles softly before pulling away.

Allie smiles too and pulls away, rests her hands behind her in the sand and settles in to watch the show.

***

“Where did you run off to last night?” 

The campsites are stirring the next morning with activity as everyone wakes up after the sun is high and the weather is warm. Helena is sitting by the campfire, a cup of coffee in one hand and her phone in the other. 

“I went for a walk,” Allie says carefully, not sure if she should say anything about what happened with Harry or not. They only shared one little kiss, and while it was wildly romantic with the fireworks sounding off above them, she’s not quite sure where they go from here. “What are you up to?”

Helena holds up her phone. “Trying to secure our boat for the day online. Harry already gave his credit card information to the rental place, I’m on hold.” 

It’s then that Allie can hear the hold music playing quietly from Helena’s phone which is on speaker mode. Allie snorts when she recognizes the song, some piano version of a top 40 hit, and pours herself a cup of coffee. 

A few minutes later a woman’s voice comes over the line, letting Helena know that she’s secured a boat for them that they can pick up in an hour. Helena thanks the woman and ends the call, stands up and wipes sand from the back of her shorts. 

“This place is too fucking sandy,” she says and Allie laughs into her coffee mug. “I’m going to start rounding up the usual suspects. You’re in, right?” 

Allie nods. “Definitely. I’ll get ready and meet you back here at ten.” 

She finishes up her drink and heads to her tent to get ready for the day. There are two options for swimming suits, the one she wore yesterday which was bright blue and white, perfect for the fourth. But she decides on the flashier suit she’d purchased just because it was beautiful in the store and she couldn’t help herself. She slides on a pair of denim shorts and throws a sun hat on for good measure. She’s just finished applying sunscreen when a throat clearing at the tent’s entrance makes her jump. 

“Jesus, Allie.” 

Harry is standing there, one fist up to his mouth as he takes her in from head to toe. And now she knows this bathing suit was worth the price tag because he’s looking at her like he never has before. 

“That suit..” 

Allie laughs quietly and looks down at the top, a white ruffled halter top embellished with gold jewels that sit right under her breasts. There’s an additional piece connected to the bottoms that wraps around her middle that is purely for show, the gold jewels trailing down her stomach to meet the top of her shorts. With her recently tanned skin the stark white of the suit pops, making her look even more sunkissed. 

“You like?” She asks with a cocked eyebrow and Harry nods slowly as he takes her in.

He looks around outside quickly before stepping into her tent. “That is by far the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he says when he’s right in front of her. She inhales sharply when he gently touches the jeweled piece on her tummy. He’s making her feel all kinds of things and he’s not even touching her skin. 

“I’m glad you like it,” she says breathlessly and it makes him smile. Feeling a little bold she pushes up closer to him, leans up so she can whisper in his ear. “Wait until you see the rest of it.” 

Harry lets out a little groan that makes her giggle as she pushes past him. She’s not exactly sure why she’s being so bold, or flirty at all for that matter, but it’s like their kiss from the night before has unlocked something she didn’t really know how to admit before. 

She sort of likes him.

Half an hour later she’s got a beer in her hand as the boat floats lazily along the lake. It was big enough for a fairly large group of people and they are everywhere, laughing and drinking like it’s not before noon on a Sunday. Helena and Luke are talking quietly and kissing in a corner and Allie finds herself wishing for the first time in a long time that she had someone in her life to giggle and kiss whenever she wanted. 

“They are disgustingly in love, don’t you think?” 

Harry chooses that moment to drop down beside her, his chin nodding towards the engaged couple. 

“I think it’s sweet,” Allie says, her eyes taking in Harry’s board shorts and bare chest. A pair of Ray Bans cover his eyes as he lays down in the lounge chair next to hers and gets comfortable. He rests his phone face down on his stomach and Allie snorts. “You’re going to get a weird tan if you leave that there.” 

Harry just smirks and glances at her suit. “You’re one to talk, Pressman” 

Allie just shakes her head with a laugh. “I lathered myself up in sunscreen before we left. I think I’ll be okay.” 

Harry shifts in his chair and gives her a heated look. “I know, I saw.” 

She remembers him coming in after she put on her sunscreen, wonders how long he was standing there before he cleared his throat.

“Perv,” she says with a smile to show him she’s not mad and he laughs, a bright and loud sound that makes a few people look their way.

They spend the day eating, drinking and playing in the lake. By the time they dock she’s perfectly buzzed, warmed by the setting sun and the margaritas Elle made for the girls on the boat. 

“Let’s party!” Clark yells as he jumps into the sand and Allie rolls her eyes as everyone cheers as if that’s not what they’ve been doing all day. But it is their last night here so she follows her tipsy friends through the campsites until they arrive back at hers, which is apparently party central tonight.

Someone turns on music and Billie Eilish starts playing, a thumping bass beat that has everyone up and dancing around the now lit campfire. Elle stumbles up to her, a wide grin splitting her face, and Allie knows the girl is definitely tequila wasted right now which means she’s probably feeling on top of the world.

“Dance with me!” 

Allie laughs and lets Elle pull her into the crowd of people dancing to “Bad Guy” like it hasn’t been on the radio for the past two summers. She turns when she feels eyes on her, sees Harry sitting on the tailgate of Luke’s truck. His eyes are following her every move, and he doesn’t look away as he takes a pull from the long neck bottle in his hands. Even from this far away she can feel her skin heat when he licks his lips, eyes fixed on her like he doesn’t see anyone else. 

“Dude, I think Harry likes you!” Elle yells over the music and Allie stills, tears her eyes away from him to face her friend. 

“What makes you say that?” 

Elle shrugs, which looks ridiculous because she’s drunk dancing all over the place. “He hasn’t stopped looking at you since we got here. Go talk to him.” 

Allie pales, looks around to see if anyone is listening to this conversation. It’s not that she really cares what anyone thinks, and he has been flirting with her more than usual. But he’s a known womanizer and it honestly scares her a little to think that maybe this is just the norm for him. Flirting with a girl until he gets what he wants and where will she be then? In a surprisingly sober move Elle puts her hands on Allie’s shoulders and looks her in the eye. 

“Stop being afraid, Al.” 

Allie takes a deep breath and nods, stands up taller and squares her shoulders back as she heads to where Harry’s sitting. 

His eyebrows go up a little in surprise when she stops right in front of him, practically standing in between where his legs are open and dangling off the tailgate. 

“What are we doing, Harry? You kiss me last night and then never mention it, and now you’re watching me like…” 

“Like what?” He asks when she doesn’t finish her sentence and she melts a little at the deep and husky tone of his voice. “Tell me, Allie.” 

“Like you want to do it again and never stop.” 

He lets out a little breath of surprise as she steps in between his legs and leans up to kiss him. When he doesn’t immediately return the kiss she sort of panics but then he’s sliding down off the tailgate and pulling her into his arms to deepen the kiss. It’s not like the sweet kiss from the night before, it’s raw and full of emotion, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip until she’s weak in the knees. 

There are hoots and hollers around them as he continues to kiss her but she doesn’t care. Maybe it’s the faint tequila buzz she’s still feeling or maybe it’s just how drunk she’s getting off this kiss, the taste of expensive beer on Harry’s lips as he sips at her lips her right there in front of their friends. 

“Maybe we should rejoin the party,” he murmurs against her lips several minutes later and she smiles, reaches for his hand and pulls him in the direction of his tent one campsite over. 

“Maybe we should have our own?” 

He practically growls in agreement and follows behind her as she makes her way through the crowd. Elle winks her as they pass and Allie just grins, turns around to see Harry’s eyes lit up with alcohol and want, as they make their way over to his tent. 

***

The lake is quiet when she steps down to the shore the next morning. It’s still early, everyone getting some much needed rest after the debauchery of the night before. Even from Harry’s tent, where they spent the night making out (plus a little more) and talking until neither could keep their eyes open, they could hear the party raging from the next campsite over.

“Morning, Pressman.” 

Allie smiles when Harry comes up behind her, puts his arms around her waist and drops a kiss to her temple. “Good morning to you too.” 

“I didn’t like waking up alone,” he admits quietly. “I fell asleep with you in my arms, kinda wanted to wake up like that too.” 

The sentiment is sweet and it makes her heart beat furiously in her chest. “What happens next, Harry?” 

He kisses her cheek. “What do you mean?” 

Allie sighs, turns around in his arms so she can look up at him. “I mean, we’re on vacation. This weekend has been fun but what happens in two hours when it ends?” 

“Then we don’t let it end,” he says simply. “You swear like Brooklyn and Manhattan are two separate planets. We can do this, Allie. I want to.” 

She inhales sharply, surprised by how earnest his words are. “You do?” 

Harry rolls his eyes a little and chuckles. “Allie, I’ve liked you since high school. This shouldn’t be such a shock.” 

“I didn’t know,” she says but maybe she just missed it. Maybe all the flirting, every time he randomly joined in a conversation, maybe it wasn’t him being a womanizer. Maybe he really did just like her. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” 

“Honestly?” He asks and she rolls her eyes as if to say duh. “It just never felt like the right time. You were younger, your sister hated me. One of us was always dating someone else. And then life, you know?” 

She nods because she does know. “Well I’m glad you told me now. But I do have issue with one thing that you said.” 

His eyebrows dip together. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” 

Allie smiles as she leans up to kiss him. “Manhattan and Brooklyn are like two different planets.” 

Harry laughs and wraps his arms around her, dropping kisses from her mouth to her shoulder and then back up again. 

“Guess we’ll just have to compromise,” he says, turning her around so they can watch the sun shine on the still water of the lake. “Some nights at my place, some nights at yours.” 

“Sounds perfect.”

She settles back into his arms, enjoying the way the sun warms her face as it rises high in the sky, welcoming the new day.

[lelitachay]

Frozen fanfiction: Søsken

Summary: Even though Anna loved her sister-in-law, she couldn’t help but notice there was something peculiar about Elsa. Everything starts to make sense after an accident and a forced family reunion.

Modern AU. Kristanna - Frohana - Kristoff & Elsa BrOTP.

Chapters 1 to 10 - Here  

Chapter 11 - Repercussions    

Chapter 12 - Time apart

Chapter 13 - Guilt

Chapter 14 - The way I see it

Chapter 15 - Reconnecting

Chapter 16 - Finding home

Chapter 17 - What the future holds

Chapter 18 - Broken trust

Chapter 19 - Reopening old wounds

-

The visit

Lying in bed for several hours had proved to be useless for Elsa. It didn’t matter how tired she felt, her mind wouldn’t let her rest. She had tossed and turned for hours, hoping to finally get some sleep, but her mind kept going back to her conversation with Anna. It kept going back to the document she had found and what it meant for her.

She had gone to bed shortly after Anna had left. But she had barely slept for an hour or two before another nightmare woke her up. And after that, falling back asleep had proved to be impossible. 

Talking about her past to Anna had opened up scars that weren't completely healed. Her days inside the clinic had been the worst of her life, and talking about them always triggered the worst memories. Memories that took days or weeks to fade once again.

In the past, every time those memories had come back to haunt her, she had calmed her restless mind with the idea that those days were over. They were part of a troubled past that she was little by little leaving behind. But this time, however, she couldn’t find that silver lining. 

Telling the world what Weselton had done put her on the spotlight, and being in the public eye could backfire. Kai’s petition meant she was going to be forced to talk about her past in front of people. She was going to be asked question and possibly requested to give more details than the ones she had given Kristoff and Anna. And she knew for a fact she wasn’t ready to do something like that. She knew there was no way she could face a courtroom full of people and talk about her past without her powers manifesting, or what was worse, they acting on their own and hurting people around her.

In short, she couldn’t put her mind at ease if there existed a slim possibility of people finding out about her powers and locking her up once again.

She sighed and turned for the umpteenth time and faced the ceiling once again. Eighty-four wooden planks. Eighty-four wooden planks and nine beams. She didn’t even need to count the wooden planks in her ceiling. It had been the only activity that had helped her keep her mind distracted, but it was no longer working. 

Tired of lying in bed and fighting against her own mind, Elsa got up and went to the kitchen to find something to drink. She needed her mind to stop over-thinking things for just a moment, and she guessed that moving could actually help with that.

The idea of drinking a beer was tempting, but she thought better of it. She found it hard to stop at just one whenever she was feeling anxious and the last thing she needed was to wake up the following day with a hangover. Opting for a glass of milk instead, she opened the fridge in hopes of finding one last bottle. But to her disappointment there was none. It was at that moment she remembered she had planned to spend the afternoon grocery shopping instead of trying in vain to fall asleep.

She closed the fridge's door with more force than necessary and sat down on the closest chair. Yet another tired sigh escaped her lips as she rested her head on the wooden table. She knew she could still catch the last bus to town and continue with her original plan and pretend the events of the previous night hadn't happened; but part of her knew she couldn’t face her family just yet. 

She wasn't sure she wanted to confront her father so soon. And even if Anna insisted she should listen to him before jumping to conclusions, she couldn’t stop feeling disappointed and hurt.

She raised her head when a knock on her door distracted her from her thoughts. At first she thought it had been her imagination, but a second knock made her realise there was actually someone waiting outside her door. 

The first person to come to mind was Marshmallow. He usually travelled to Trolheim on Saturdays, and from time to time he would offer her a ride. And since she didn't wish for him to see her like that, she stayed where she was pretending she wasn’t home.

She knew he was bound to ask questions giving her appearance, and she wasn’t sure she could make up a believable story. After all, she had big bags under her eyes and she was still wearing the old baggy t-shirt and worn out shorts she wore to bed. A look that didn't match a fake smile.

After three more knocks, when she thought he had finally left; she heard the door open. Knowing Marshall would never enter her house uninvited, she got up to see who was entering her house.

"Elsa! You're here!" said Kristoff, when she walked into the living room. "Why didn't you open the door?" 

"Why does everyone enters this place as they see fit?" she answered, ignoring her brother’s question completely.

"You never lock your door." A lame excuse, he knew.

"That doesn't give you the right to barge in."

"Sorry," he apologised. It was clear she was angrier than usual about his lack of manners, and he just wanted to avoid a fight. "We thought you weren't home. We were going to wait inside until you returned." 

"I should listen to Kai and start locking the stupid door," she said to herself, a little bit louder than intended. 

"Yes, you should," came Kai’s reply from outside the door.

"Dad?” The lack of sleep was surely making her mind play tricks.

"Can you please let us in, Kristoff?" asked Gerda from the outside, tired of waiting for her son to move from the entrance.

Only when he did move, she was able to hurry to her daughter's side. "Elsa, dear, how are you feeling?" 

Not wanting to be rude, Elsa told her she was feeling fine before asking, "What are you doing here?" She didn't like the sudden visit, and she knew there was a reason behind her mother's fussiness.

"Are you sure, sweetheart? You look exhausted." Gerda insisted, as she cupped Elsa’s face with her hands.

"We came to see you," answered Kai still standing near the door.

"Yes, mum. I'm fine," repeated Elsa as she moved her face from her mother's grasp. Elsa made sure to hold the old woman’s hands, preventing Gerda from touching her again.

She didn’t mind her mother’s affection under normal circumstances, but right at that moment she wanted some space. Elsa knew Gerda was going to notice things were not okay, but she still wanted to keep up the appearance. However, it was really hard to do so if Gerda continued fussing over her.

"What are you really doing here?" Elsa asked Kristoff, hoping her brother was going to be more straight forward with his answer. 

Contrary to what his mother was doing, Kristoff tried to give Elsa some space, and he sat on the couch. "Anna told me what happened last night. We came here to talk.” Noticing the way his sister's face suddenly contorted with worry, he clarified, “Actually, dad came here to talk. Mum and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Dear, your hands are really cold." Gerda had always made the effort not to point out Elsa’s powers without a reason, but right at that moment Elsa was still holding her hands and it was becoming hard to pretend they weren’t painfully cold.

Her mother's comment made Elsa realise there was a thin layer of frost covering her hands and she let go in an instant. Putting some distance between her family and herself, she said, "I don't blame Anna for worrying, but right now is not the best time.” They way her powers had just reacted was clear indication of that. “I'm not in the right mood to have this conversation."

“I’m sorry, Elsa. But we need to talk about this,” said Kai. “The sooner I explain what that document you found is, the better.”

“Dad-” she tried to stop him. She was still hurt about his idea of opening her case once again, and she wasn’t sure how to explain to him her fears.

However, Kai interrupted her before she got the chance. “First of all, I'm sorry you found out about this on your own. I wanted to talk to you and explain things to you before doing anything. That document you found is part of a formal petition-”

"Anna explained to me what it is,” Elsa cut her father off. She was tired. She didn’t want to hear him talk in a methodical way. She wasn’t part of another police procedure, at least not anymore. The least she expected from her father was for him to be straightforward. “You're requesting for my case to be opened once again."

“Yes. That is correct,” he admitted. “However-” Elsa turning around and walking to her bedroom interrupted him mid sentence. “Where are you going?”

“Elsa?” called Gerda soon after. 

Before they could follow, Elsa reappeared with the document in her hand. 

“Here,” she said as she put the paper in Kai’s chest. “You can have it back. Do whatever you want. But I won’t take part in any of this.” Not waiting for her father’s answer she walked into the kitchen ready to continue with her original plan for the evening. Find something to drink and go back to bed.

Gerda took a step closer to Kai and whispered, “Kai, you better do something.” 

He exhaled as he thought what was best to do. Elsa was clearly hurt, he could see it in her eyes, but he couldn’t solve anything if his daughter didn’t give him the opportunity to talk and explain himself.

He entered the kitchen and said, “Elsa, we need to talk.”

Continuing with what she was doing, Elsa closed the cupboard door and ignored her father. Maybe some tea could help her fall asleep.

“Elsa.”

“I'm not in the mood to discuss this right now.” She didn’t turn around to face him.

“I need you to listen-”

“No!”

It wasn’t the angered response what surprised Kai, but the sound of a cup breaking.

“Damn it!” Elsa cursed when she noticed the cut on her finger. Her control over her powers had slipped for just a moment, and it had broken the cup she was using to fill the kettle. She hated whenever her body didn’t let her do the simplest tasks. "Useless freak."

Gerda entered the kitchen just in time to see her daughter muttering to herself after the curse. And then she noticed her hand covered in blood. Her instincts kicking in, she rushed to Elsa's side. “Let me help you.”

“It’s fine.”

“But-”

“I said it’s fine.” Turning around, Elsa looked for a piece of cloth and wrapped it around her finger to stop the bleeding. She could feel the disapproving look of Gerda, but she didn’t care. She could just clean the wound later.

Kai waited till the situation was under control before trying to talk with his daughter once again, “Can we talk now, Elsa? Please.”

"I don't want to talk,” countered Elsa in a lower tone of voice. “I don't. But that doesn't matter, does it? It doesn't matter what I want.”

“Of course it does.”

“Then why did you open my case?” she asked. Finally reaching her breaking point. "You promised me you wouldn't, yet you did. My opinion didn't really matter after all.”

“Elsa, you're getting ahead of things. This is just a petition. A request. Your case is not open yet.” He tried to reason. He could understand Elsa’s distress, and he wanted to make sure she knew there was nothing to worry about. 

To hear Kai say the case was still closed allowed Gerda to sigh in relief. At least things could be resolved inside the family.

“You’re not answering my question. Why did you do it?” Elsa didn't stop to think about his answer. At that moment she wanted to hear her father's reasons more than anything. 

Thinking it was best to just answer her question. His explanation could wait. “Because I care about you. And I think it's unfair you're the only person who didn't obtain justice in his trial.”

“I don't blame you for wanting justice, Kai. I do too. But this was not the right way to proceed,” Gerda was still mad her husband had written the petition without taking Elsa's wishes into consideration. 

“You and Gerda promised to help me build a life away from my past. Away from everything I went through. That paper is the opposite of that,” said Elsa pointing to the document in his hand. 

Kai walked to the closest chair and sat down with a sigh. “Look, I know it isn't exactly what I promised,” he agreed. “But I need you to understand I had your opinion in mind, all the time. I wasn't going to send this without your approval. I was going to talk with you.” Turning around he looked at his wife and son, who had also entered the kitchen, and clarified, “all of you.”

Noticing his sister wasn't reacting, Kristoff picked the document from the table and skimmed over it quickly. “It's signed by several police officers. Why would you take the trouble to do that before talking with Elsa?"

“At the beginning, I thought it was plausible to open a case against Weselton without getting Elsa involved.” He looked at his daughter to make sure she was listening and continued, "Some colleagues let me see it wasn't going to work and they all agreed it was best to work with Elsa's original case if I wanted justice. They offered their help; and soon after, the petition was written and signed.”

Even if Kristoff didn't agree with his father's methods, he too believed Weselton needed to pay for his crimes. And it made him happy to know there were other police officers willing to help Elsa find justice. 

"I found myself with half the initial work done before I knew what to do," continued Kai before his son could answer. "It’s for this reason I kept the document inside one of the composition books until I decided what to do." 

"Why were you looking for it earlier today?" Gerda couldn't help but ask. 

"I wanted to show it to you and ask for your opinion, Gerda. I wanted to talk to Elsa and I didn't know how." He looked down in shame at that. The love he had for Kristoff and Elsa was immeasurable, but there were times Kai still felt inadequate to communicate with them. It was hard for him to express his ideas and not sound like he was imposing them. 

“So, you never sent the petition?” asked Kristoff, wanting to make sure there was nothing to worry about.

Kai shook his head and asked Kristoff to hand him the document back. “This is the original document.” 

“Rip it up,” Elsa demanded. Hoping to put an end to her problems.

Kai looked at her and then at the document in his hand. He wanted to destroy the document and be on good terms with his daughter again. He wanted to make Elsa happy and show her she could trust him. However, a part of him still wanted to help that little girl he had seen in a hospital bed all those years ago. “Are you sure you don't want to give this a second thought?” he asked.

Arms crossed in front of her chest, she answered with resolution. “Yes, I’m sure.” 

Not having the heart to go against her wishes for a second time, Kai tore the document apart in front of her. He was letting go of their chance to keep Weselton behind bars, but he couldn’t force Elsa to do something she didn’t want.

Elsa remained where she was. Leaning against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest. She was feeling a lot better now that she knew there wasn’t any risk of people finding out about her past and her powers; yet pain and sadness still lingered in her mind.

Just like everyone else, Gerda stayed silent lost in her own thoughts after Kai complied to their daughter's wishes.

From the very beginning Gerda had been against Kai’s idea of opening Elsa’s case once again. She was aware of the consequences of exposing Elsa to the public eye. The prosecutor had been more than clear about it years before. 

Nonetheless, there was a part of her that still wondered if what they were doing was right. The idea of such an unscrupulous man walking free was unacceptable. And she knew anyone would agree with her on that matter. Anyone but Elsa. Or at least that's what it looked like. The way Elsa had reacted let Gerda see she'd rather accept Weselton’s freedom, than being requested to speak in front of a jury.

Gerda couldn't help but think of it as something strange. One would think she'd be the first person to ask for justice, but that wasn't the case. 

Elsa wanted to keep her past behind and move on with her life. That was clear. But Gerda could feel there was something else. 

Not thinking twice about it, and believing it was finally time Elsa opened up about the way she felt, Gerda dared ask, “what's keeping you from accepting your father's offer?"

Elsa raised her head to look at her mother, who was a few steps away from her. “What?”

“I don't want to change your mind,” she said before Elsa got defensive once again. “I've got my reasons to believe it's best to leave things as they are. But I want to hear your reasons. After all..." She took a deep breath knowing it was a sensitive topic. "Weselton will be walking free in a few years.”

“Mum...” Kristoff tried to warn before things got out of hand. He understood his parents' concerns, but he also understood Elsa’s fears.

Elsa’s silence only encouraged Gerda to continue. She usually avoided talking about this with her daughter, but she felt it was best to have the conversation now that the wound was open. "I just want to hear your reasons, Sweetheart." 

Not knowing how to explain the way she felt, Elsa simply answered, “I can’t face a jury. I just can’t."

“Why?" she tried again. "Try to put into words the way you feel. I think it’ll help your father and I understand.”

Kristoff stayed silent looking how with gentle words and patience his mother was able to get Elsa to open up. He admired that about the old woman.

Elsa, on her part, took some time to put into words the way she felt. After taking a deep breath, she gave it a try. “I'll be on the spotlight.”

“And?”

“And I'll lose control of my powers as soon as I start talking. I'll be exposed…" She made everything in her power to avoid her mother's eyes. "Everyone will know how dangerous I am.”

“You’re not dangerous, Elsa,” said Kai interrupting their conversation. He couldn't stand Elsa talking about herself in that way. 

“As soon as I lose control of my powers people will think I am.” She continued, ignoring her father. “It will be easy for Weselton to prove his point then. Everyone will see reason behind the things he did."

"Elsa, wait. Try to-" Gerda tried to make her slow down. 

"Sooner than later, they'll lock me inside a clinic to be studied again.”

“That won't happen, Elsa,” said Kai not tolerating even the idea of that happening again. 

“Yes, it will.”

"No, it won't," he insisted. "The judge and everyone involved will be surprised, but if you explain what that horrible man did to you-" 

"It won't make a difference because people hate the things they can't understand… People can be cruel, Kai." 

The look of pain on her face broke Gerda’s heart. It hurt to know she was talking from experience. 

"I know what it feels like to be at the mercy of cruel people. Not you."

Kai had to agree that it was true. He hadn't experienced cruelty first hand, but his job had taught him a thing or two and he knew he could keep her safe. “I won't let anything happen to you.”

"You can’t promise that," answered Elsa dejectedly. "You don’t know how my powers are going to react under so much stress. It could be a disaster. If I end up hurting someone again, everyone will see reason behind Weselton's actions and I’ll be forced back in a cage." 

“No one's going to force you back in a cage. I won't allow it.”

“Yes, you will.”

“How can you believe something like that?!” To hear Elsa had so little faith in them hurt him deeply. “After everything we've gone through-”

Gerda, on the other hand, didn’t take Elsa’s statement to heart. She wasn’t accusing them. She was merely stating a fact, as if she believed the right thing was for them to allow that to happen. “What do you mean, ‘hurting someone again’?” she asked, interrupting her husband.

Elsa held her mother’s for just a fraction of a second, before looking at the floor in remorse. That was the reason she never talked about the way she felt, she always ended up saying a little too much. She stayed silent battling what to do. She could feel her powers tickling under her skin and the lump in her throat getting bigger.

From where he was standing, Kristoff noticed the tears streaming down her face. He considered it was time Elsa told their parents everything she had gone through. He believed they were going to understand. He was certain. And finally knowing about her past was going to help them understand. “Elsa, they deserve to know,” he said, surprising everyone in the room.

“What is your brother talking about?” asked Gerda gently. Elsa had come so far, she just needed her to say had really happened to her.

“I hurt someone with my powers once,” she answered after several minutes, when she felt the ice was more or less under control. 

“Who?”

“A nurse. It was inside the clinic.” She couldn’t raise her head. She couldn’t face her mother’s disappointment.  

“How bad?”

“Bad. I never saw her again-” A sob interrupted her. “I don’t know what happened to her.”

“Oh, dear…" Gerda walked the distance that separated them. But Elsa moved away just before she could wrap her arms around her.

"Mum, aren't you listening? I'm a threat." She said with a broken voice. 

Angered by the fact Elsa wouldn't even allow herself to be comforted. Gerda forced Elsa to lock eyes with her. "Look at me. Look at me," she repeated when Elsa tried to look away. "Get it into your thick head. You are not dangerous. You were just a child trying everything in your power to protect yourself. You're not dangerous. Those who locked you up are." 

Not giving Elsa the chance to put some distance between them, she hugged her tight.

There wasn’t anything Elsa wanted more than to believe her mother’s words, but it was so hard to ignore the frightened look of that nurse. “I still don’t understand why you aren’t afraid of me…”

Her big blue eyes carried so much guilt and sadness, Gerda couldn’t fathom the idea of someone considering her dangerous. "Because when I look into your eyes and I see how much you care. We know who you really are. You are not your powers. They are part of you, That’s true. But they don’t define who you are.” Gerda held Elsa tighter, showing her how much she really trusted her. “You’re just a scared child." 

Finally letting her walls down, Elsa hid her face in her mother’s neck and hugged her just as tight. She let go of all the pain and frustration she had been holding and allowed herself to cry.

It was only when she had calmed down that Gerda spoke again. “Your father and I need you to tell us everything you went through, okay?” She offered her a sad smile as she dried with her thumb the remaining tears. “It’s the only way we can help you and protect you. Not to mention the only way we can avoid doing stupid things like-”

“Opening my case again?” she asked in a low voice.

“Exactly,” said Gerda with a smile.

Kristoff couldn’t help but chuckle at his father’s mortified expression.

“Okay…” agreed Elsa.

--

It was almost midnight when Elsa finished her story. Somehow having told her story to Anna the previous night helped her open up to her parents. Kristoff’s presence and constant support also made things easier. Just like she had done with Anna and Kristoff, she had avoided the most gruesome parts, but she knew her parents perfectly understood the things she didn’t say.

Both her parents had cried and cursed, but true to their word, they didn’t suggest doing anything against Weselton. And it helped Elsa feel more relieved, knowing that they had found logic in her fears, and they weren’t going to force her to do anything that could put her in danger.

They only bid their goodbyes after Elsa assured them she was going to be okay on her own. Going straight to bed and calling them first thing in the morning.

Kristoff, being the last to walk out the door, stopped in his tracks and looked at Elsa for a moment. He offered her a smile and said,  "I'm sorry we showed up the way we did. We were worried."

"I know."

“I didn't want you to be alone and I thought Kai owned you an explanation.”

Elsa nodded, perfectly understanding her brother’s reasoning. Maybe her mind was a mess right at that moment, but she was honestly happy her family had showed up. She still felt somewhat hurt for Kai’s actions, but she couldn’t blame him for caring. “I'm glad you came, Kristoff.”

“Elsa?” 

“Mmh?”

“Can I give you a hug?”

A small smile appeared on her face. “Since when do you ask permission?”

“Since this afternoon, when I thought you were going to kill me for entering your house without permission,” he answered, trying to light the mood.

Elsa gave him a hug and then watched him go, together with their parents. 

Once inside her house, she cleaned her wound and made herself some tea. She sat on the couch to think about everything that had happened in just forty-eight hours. It was crazy to think she had been so miserable the day before. She felt good about the fact she had been able to tell her brother the truth when he was leaving. She was truly happy her family had showed up when they did. And she was relieved she had finally opened up about her past with the people she loved the most.

When she was about to turn the lights off, a pile of letters on the coffee table called her attention. Idunn’s letters had been tossed over it earlier that day, and she hadn’t given them much thought.

She pondered for a moment what was best to do with them. The idea of burning them came to mind, she definitely wanted to. But those letters contained the answer to several questions about her childhood. Thinking it was best to ignore the letters until she could think more clearly, she picked them up and put them in between some books inside her library. Maybe one day, she could give Idunn a chance.

--

Several knocks on Kristoff’s door woke him up from his slumber. He stretched his arm and picked the alarm clock on the bedside table. He wasn’t surprised to see it was already midday. After all, he had arrived late the previous night feeling more tired than usual.

Even if hir sister had been the one who had opened up about her fears and her past, Kristoff had been nervous himself for most part of the conversation. He had felt like that fourteen-year-old kid all over again, who didn’t know what to do to help his parents or his sister.

He remembered the excitement he had felt when his childhood friend became his sister. But once the excitement had worn off, he began to notice how much Elsa had changed in a just a few years. She didn’t smile as often, and the silly jokes once amused her, no longer made her smile. He had noticed his parents’ constant worry and he had felt useless. It was for this reason he had self-appointed himself as Elsa’s protector.

But there was little he could do to protect his sister when the things hurting her were her memories and the distorted version she had of herself. It was then he let his mother do what she did best, which was to prompt Elsa to talk and help her in the process. Something he believed she had done perfectly well the previous night. But still, the meeting had been emotionally taxing, and for that reason he was having such a hard time getting out of bed.

Sven barking near his front door reminded him someone was knocking at the door. And he had an idea who that someone was. Jumping out the bed, he hurried to let his girlfriend in.

Anna entered the apartment and Sven didn’t waste time to jump and greet her. “Sven, you saw her yesterday. Please, let her be.”

“You know I don’t mind,” she said while she kneeled in front of the dog to scratch his ears.

Sven got tired after a few minutes and he sat near the door once again, expectant to see if it didn’t open once again.

Once Anna was standing once again, she pointed to the dog’s strange behaviour. “What’s with him?”

“He always does that when he misses Elsa.” He called the dog’s attention, “she’s not coming, buddy.” The dog whined a couple of times and then gave up, going back to sleep on the couch.

“I should take him to the mountain next weekend.”

“About that…” Anna said, finally getting to the point of her visit. “How’s Elsa? Did you see her yesterday?”

“She’s okay,” he said with a small smile. “I took my parents to the mountain and Kai explained everything to her. She’s still a little hurt at him for making her worry, but she was finally able to explain her fears to my parents.”

“Did she tell them everything?” She hesitated, not knowing if Elsa had come clean about that part of her past.

“Yes.” Kristoff offered Anna something to drink and continued, “they reacted the way I’ve always imagined they would.”

“They don’t blame her.”

“Of course not. Just like you and me, they let her know she was just a child trying to protect herself.”

“What about the petition? Will she have to face a jury?” Anna was really concerned about it, and she was willing to fight her parents-in-law in order to help Elsa.

“Turns out that was the only copy. No one outside the family read the petition. Kai ended up tearing it into pieces.”

Anna let a sigh of relief escape her lips. The idea of talking in a courtroom was nerve-wracking even for herself, she imagined how stressful it could be for someone like Elsa. “So, she’s okay?”

“She’ll need a few days to tame her mind and control the unpleasant memories. But she’s okay, yes.”

“Are you sure?”

The concern in Anna’s voice made him smile. For her, everything about Elsa was new, and Kristoff couldn’t blame her for worrying. “I’m sure.”

“And what about… Never mind.”

The way she kept fidgeting let Kristoff know her question was in fact important for her. “What is it, Anna?”

“Did my parents have anything to do with the petition?” She didn’t want to ask the question. She knew Kristoff was still having a hard time accepting her parents as Elsa’s biological ones.

“I asked Kai after we left Elsa’s place. He said they’ve met your parents a couple times, but opening Elsa’s case was his idea entirely.” He was still unsure how he felt about his parents meeting the Arendelles behind Elsa’s back, but he guessed it made sense. After all, they were the main reason Elsa had ended up in the hands of someone like Weselton. Kristoff could see his father taking the trouble to see if they were worth Elsa’s tears.

Even if he hadn’t forgiven Anna’s parents, Kristoff guessed they were actually good people. Kai wouldn’t have met them more than once if that hadn’t been the case.

“I need to talk with mum and dad. I can’t believe they’ve been meeting with your parents and they didn't care to tell me.”

He understood his girlfriend's discontent, he had felt the same way when he found out the previous day. “I think you should.”

“Would you like to be there when I do?" Deep down she hoped for him to accept. She missed the days Kristoff would visit her in her parents' home. "I could use your company.”

“Anna…" He didn't like to disappoint her, but he wanted to avoid a confrontation. He couldn't face Agdar and Idunn since he still blamed them for Elsa's miserable life. "You know how I feel about your parents.”

"Let me know if you change your mind...” It pained her to be in the middle of the chaos. But there wasn’t much she could do when her heart understood both sides.

--

Marshall sighed for a third time, as he tried to find the courage to knock on Elsa's door. He had been waiting for her in the slope for an hour before he accepted she was not going to show up. And for some reason, instead of going back to his place, he found himself standing in front of her door.

He had no real reason for his visit. Elsa could simply had been busy. But she had never stood him up in the past, and the few times she hadn’t been able to meet him, she had called in advance.

Part of him wanted to turn around and simply accept the fact she probably had better things to do than spending time with him. Still, his curiosity to see if she was all right was bigger and he decided to knock. 

Straightening his back, he waited for the door to open. And, to his relief, it only took a few seconds for Elsa to greet him.

“Hey,” he said with a smile, pleased to see there was nothing to worry about.

“Marshmallow? What are you doing here?” The mountaineer usually worked on weekdays, and it was strange for him to spontaneously visit after work. 

“Just stopping by,” he said as he scratched the back of his neck. “I wanted to see if you were okay…” 

Elsa looked at him puzzled. She had no idea what reason he could have to worry about her, unless her brother had called the guy and bothered him. If that were the case, kristoff was not going to hear the end of it. “Did Kristoff call you?”

“What? No. I-”

“Because if he did-” Elsa interrupted.

Trying to get his point across before she jumped to any other strange conclusion, Marshall explained in a hurry, “you didn't show up at the slope like we agreed, and I worried.”

“What?”

"You-" Elsa’s confused expression made him think about the possibility he had been mistaken. Hadn't he asked Elsa to meet him like he had intended? Not wanting to make a fool out of himself, he said, "It doesn't matter. I should've just called." 

Elsa grabbed his arm before he could turn around and leave. "Wait, Marshmallow, what are you talking about?" 

"On Thursday, when I called you," he began to say, as he scratched his beard - a nervous tic she had seen him do many times before. "I told you I was free today, and you said you'd meet me at the slope."

"Oh?… oh!" Everything that happened had made Elsa forget about her plan with Marshall. "I completely forgot."

"It doesn't matter. There wasn't much to do there anyway. Most of the snow is melted." 

Elsa could see he was trying to pretend it wasn't important. But she knew he had probably been waiting for her. "I really am sorry, Marshall. Truth is I had a hard weekend." 

“Everything okay?”

“I’ve been better.” There was no way she could explain to him her problems, so she left it at that. “I wish I had remembered about our plan. It would have been a good distraction.”

"Would you like to come to my place?” he offered. “We could eat something. If you want…" 

Elsa wondered if it was a good idea. She felt guilty for the little time she had been dedicating to her studies, and she had finally found the will to sit and work in her assignments just before his visit. On the other hand, she could really use some time away from her worries.

Before she got the chance to answer, however, Marshmallow said, "the cats miss you."

Smiling at his ridiculous attempt to convince her, she asked, "Do they?" 

"Yes. Well…" He cleared his throat to hide his embarrassment. He wanted to punch himself for the moronic reason he had come up with. "I think they do. And maybe they can be a good distraction from whatever is bothering you." 

"Okay."

"Okay?" 

"Yes." Smiling after days of sadness felt nice. She had to be thankful Marshall was considerate enough to invite her right after she had stood him up. "Maybe you're right, I could use some company. And I've missed the cats too."

Marshall smiled too, pleased to notice she wasn’t really talking about the cats.

--

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I apologise in advance for any mistakes. I’ve been writing the whole day, and I can’t identify mistakes at this point.

Big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review and share this story. You’re all amazing!

Tagging: @swimmingnewsie @melody-fox, @kristoffxannafanatic, @kristannafictionals, @neptrabbit, @skneez, @ellacarter13, @wondering-in-life, @who-i-am-8, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @815-allisnotlost, @khartx, @joannevixxon, @betweenthedreams, @lilrann, @burbobah, @rileysfs, @zutonium, @earlvessalius, @blood-jewel, @disneydreamer8901, @the-sky-is-awake, @disneyfan103, @the-magic-one-is-you, @anamaria8garcia, @welovefrozenfanfiction, @bigfrozenfan-archive, @bigfrozenfan, @frozen-snips  @deisymendoza  @zackhaikal123 @cornstarch @roostercrowedatmidnight @wandering-bard-from-the-id, @showurselfelsa @fuzzyelsalikeiduna @when-dawn-arrives​ @drafteedragon​ @snowycrocus​ @tare8chan​ @localarendellian​ @wabitham​ @roostercrowedatmidnight​ @aries1708 @tare8chan, @just-your-local-history-nerd, @dontrunintofirexoxo @daphmckinnon @poketin @bruni-is-love @luna-and-mars, @anotherpersondrawing @lovelucywilde

Wish you guys the best. Stay safe!

[ryan-spinel]

CHAPTER THREE

“Heavenly Bliss”

“What are you doing out so late Spinel.” Connie challenged

“I wouldn't call 5:45 in the afternoon last Connie. Seems like you've been somewhere, caring paper bags.” I smirked

“Well, Valentine, going grocery shopping after school is better than hanging with drug dealers.” Connie provoked

“Well I guess someone was doing more than shopping, I was helping a friend get a date.” I sassed

“Sure you were.” The whore snickered

I have to say, I alway hated passive aggressive bitches. I mean, if your going to be angry show it, instead of being a dick about it.

“Listen to me Spinel, I don't know what kind of stuff you're involved with the Black Hawks. But my father is the chief inspector of the local police agency, and I will have to report any unusual activity your involved in.” Connie warned

“And that's suppose to mean something, my mothers a lawyer.” I bragged

“Sigh, look Spinel. I don't want any trouble. I don't know why you hit me yesterday, but all I ask for. Is that you stay away from Steven, or you'll regret it. He doesn't need someone like you in his life.” Connie threaten

It's cute that she thinks she can scare me. It's you who will be sorry.

“Connie. You sound like Steven belongs to you, you do realize he has a life outside of you.” I smirked

Connie was about to say something, but then she gave be a defeated look. Looks like I won this battle, but haven't won the war just yet.

“Just, please don't go near him. You're not his friend.” Connie added, walking towards me.

Of course I'm not his friend, I'm his girlfriend, his babey, his sweetheart.

At the moment she walks by me, I pulled out my Italian stiletto and used it to tear the paper bag open. Causing the groceries to drop to the ground.

“Gasp, oopsie daisy.” I gibed, walking by Connie irritably picking up her groceries.

It brings me joy to see someone like her struggling. Now time to go home before my folks worry about me.

It's now sundown, I just arrived to my place. I hope my moms aren't worried.

I walked up to the entrance and was going to open the door, however I stopped. I was hearing muffled screaming inside the house, so I ease dropped to find out what they're talking about.

“This has gone on long enough mother, we can't keep denying the problem with Spinel!” Mother argued

“You watch you're tone with me young lady, Spinel is fine. How is her liking someone so awful.” Grandmother Whitney retaliated

“Liking someone, you mean this boy Steven. I got a call from the school that she punched a girl in the face.” Mother retorted

“How is that a problem, Spinel probably had a good reason to do so.” Grandmother Whitney denied

“She hit that girl, over a piece of cake. I was told by Dr.Maheswaran, that her daughter asked for a piece of cake Steven had, and then all of a sudden Spinel hits her trying to slap the cake out of her hand. Accidentally hitting her in the face, causing her to bite her lip.” Mother shot

There was a silent pause, until I heard Momma speaking.

“Whitney, this isn't normal behavior for a girl like Spinel. Ever since kindergarten she's been very violent towards kids her age. We can't keep hiding and ignoring on what she did to Spin-.”

SLAP

“Never, and I repeat never mentioned that women again.” Grandmother Whitney snapped

“Mother what is wrong with you, don't hit Bella again.” Mother raged

“Or what, you won't defend me in court. I had to teach her a lesson for disobeying me.” Grandmother Whitney threaten

“Bella's right Mother, somethings wrong with Spinel. Sigh, God we should have never given her that knife.” Mother muttered

“The reason why I gave that knife is because that's what she wants. She doesn't want makeup and all that girly crap you get her. I know my Granddaughter.” Grandmother Whitney stated

“You can know Spinel inside and out all you want Whitney , but you gave her a weapon. In the past we got calls that Spinel threaten students in elementary, once I got called into a meeting with the principal because Spinel got suspended for bitting a kid, in middle school. Now she's attacking girls out of jealousy. Sigh, Whitney. Spinel is sick. This can't continue, because if it does Spinel will get herself hurt or go to prison. So if you really care for her, you need to stop defending this toxic side of Spinel. She needs help-.” Momma screeched before being interrupted

Ding, dong

“Hey guys I'm back from the library.” I announced

“Come in starlight.” Grandmother Whitney answered

I opened the door and walked to the dining room. I saw my three care-givers sitting at the dinning table drinking tea. Although I noticed Momma had tears in her eyes, and having a red handprint on the left side of her face.

“How was school today Spinel.” Mother coaxed

“It was a wonderful day Mother, I had lots of fun with Perri today.” I clarified

“That's good sweet-pea, did you have dinner at the Fitzgerald home.” Momma faltered

“Yes Momma, don't worry about wittle old me.” I reassured

Although I wouldn't call a tray of onigiri dinner, even though I'm still a little hungry. But I can wait until tomorrow, I don't want momma to stress about me.

“Okay darling, please get ready for bed.” Grandmother Whitney asserted

“I'll see you guys tomorrow.”

Once I finished getting into my cute bun-bun themed pajamas, I walked to my futon going to bed. Saturday is going to be a big day for me, because that's the day Steven and I will be all alone. No Connie to interfere with us. I'll just have to ask him tomorrow at school.

Ring ring

Another day of school went by so fast, and Friday is the perfect day to ask out Steven. Because that bitch Connie has tennis practice on Fridays, that means Steven will be all alone without any interruptions.

In the distance I see the gullible hunk walking off school grounds. I have to catch up to him before it's to late. I raced like hell to catch up to him, trying to catch his attention.

“Steven!” I exulted

“Wha.”

Finally, I got his attention.

“Hey Steven, huff puff huff puff.” I listlessly

“Oh, Spinel. I didn't expect to see you. Are you okay, from Wednesday.” Steven Gasped

“Ya everything is just swell.” I said trying to ease his nerves

“Anyway, sorry to bother you. But would you like to hang out tomorrow. Like get a milkshake, do karaoke or something.” I hesitated

Please say yes, please say yes.

“Sure, why not.” Steven responded

Yes, yes, oh god yes. I feel my heart racing and I'm sweating like crazy. I honestly had my doubts.

I wanted to reply to his answer, but I was so happy I lost my sense of reality. I couldn't stop smiling and my cheeks were like two hot tomatoes. My heart has never been this happy before, it's going to explode.

“Ah, Spinel. Are you okay.” Steven guessed

Just him looking at me made me paralyzed with joy.

“Oh, oh Stevi your so cute. I just want to cuddle you and feed you cookies.” I mumbled

“Ahhhhhhhhhh, okay. Well, meet me at my place tomorrow at noon. Bye.”

And just like that, my man is gone. Tomorrow I need to look my best, also I need to ask a favor from my geeky bud.

“Congratulations on your date Spinel.” Perri cheered

“It hasn't started yet, but thanks. How was your date with Lexi.” I grinned

“Well, I wouldn't call it a date. At least the clan allows me to hang with her.” Perri hummed

“Does Brooklyn know.” I doubted

“Ah, not yet. She still doesn't want me around the Black Hawks. But I still want to see Lexi, I just want her out of the gang.” Perri worried

“Hey, don't worry. Things will turn out okay, Lex is a smart gal and she'll get out eventually.” I encouraged

“You're a great friend Spinel, how can I repay you for what you did.” Perri offered

“Well, I hate to ask but. Can you keep Connie away from Steven all day.” I begged

Please say yes, please say yes

“Your in luck friend, I'm working on a science assignment with Connie. I'll tell her to come to my house to work on the project.” Perri reassured

“Ah, thank God. I owe you big time.” I burst

“No need, that's what friends do.” Perri acknowledged

It's 30 minutes until noon. I have to make up an excuse to go out.

“Hey Momma.” I shouted from my room

“Yes dear.” Momma groggily

“I'm going to the karaoke club with some friends. I'll be back before sunset.” I lied

“Yawn, okay sweetie. Please be safe.” Momma sleepily

I didn't expect it to be that easy, now time to see senpai.

It's a good thing Steven lives less than five minutes away, I would hate to take the bus. But if I had to I would.

I finally arrived at Stevens house, or tiny home to be exact.

His house wasn't as fancy as mine, although it's a cute little home. But what do you expect when your dad is a Uber driver, and rarely gets the dough at one of his garage concerts.

Speak of the devil, I see Greg Universe. On a lawn chair outside his house, playing his guitar and drinking beer. Although I have to admit, even though Greg looks like a loser he's still a good father. Obviously Steven got that suave charm from him.

“Hello Mr.Universe.” I burst

“Oh, you must be Conn- Ah I mean Spinel. Stevens happy that you asked him to hang out. By the way, call me Greg.” Greg sputtered, sounding like he's one more bottle to being wasted.

“Is Steven almost ready.” I inquired

“Don't worry, he'll be out shorty.” Greg reassured, but still looks like he has more to say.

“You know. I'm actually glad that you asked Steven to hang.” Greg confessed

“Really.” I doubted

“Ya I am. Steven doesn't really hang out with other kids outside of school. Even since his mom passed away, he's been very antisocial. Sure he may be out going at school. But when he isn't at school, he just sits in his room. Or sometimes hangs out with his friend Connie.”

I hate the thought of that bitch being mentioned today.

“Steven may hang with a lot of kids, but they're not his friends. I hate to talk behind someone's back, but I feel like Connie and Steven spend to much time together. I'm not saying that they can't hang out, but Steven needs a variety of friends. Because if they don't stay friends Steven will have trouble finding new ones. Ha, I'm sorry I burden you with all of that. It's just my way of saying thanks, I hope Steven has lots of fun.” Greg rattled on

Wow, you think you know a guy. I really misjudged Greg, he must want Steven to have as many friends has he wants. I'm just glad that we're one the same page that Connie is bad for him. That's what happens when two loners become friends, they're obsessed with spending so much time with each other.

“I'm sorry about your wife Greg, she must be very lucky to have a kid like Steven.” I comforted

“Thank you Spinel, it really means a lot to me.”

“Hey dad, I'm going now-oh hey Spinel. It's good to see you.” Steven beamed

“Hey Schtu-ball, here's so cash to have fun with your lady friend.” Greg happily offered

“Dad, it's not like that.” Steven spluttered

“Loosen up Lil-man. I'm just messing with you.” Greg smiled

Then all of a sudden, Greg was whispering in his ear. I couldn't hear want they are talking about. But what caught me off guard was that Greg secretly slipped a condom in Stevens jacket.

Oh Lordy, Steven and I haven't even got to the batters box's yet. Already Greg gives him a condom on the first date, I guess it's better to be safe then sorry. Now Greg has my full respect now, thinking that Steven and I would get dirty. He really wants Steven to have more friends.

Although poor Steven, he must be so embarrassed that Greg is giving him condoms and advice on girls.

“Okay Dad, I heard enough. Come on Spinel let's go” Steven spluttered

“Okay okay, see you crazy kids later.” Greg joked

“Jesus Christ.” Steven mumbled

After Steven got the talk, we made our way onto the bus.

“So Spinel, What would you like to do.” Steven asked

“Well, lets go to that 50s style dinner. I heard they have to best burgers and milkshakes there.” I suggested

“You mean Krazy Kats, (chuckled) it's been so long since I've been there. After that lets go to the karaoke club.” Steven cheered

“Steven Universe, I didn't know you can sing.” I teased

“Well. I can't, the only song I can sing is twinkle twinkle little star.” Steven joked

“Well it doesn't hurt to try.”

“No, it doesn't.” Steven hoped

After a long drive, we finally arrived at Blossom valley Mall.

As the gentleman Steven is, he helped me off the bus. Such a chivalrous lad.

“We're here, so do you want to do first.” Steven advised

“Lets go to the karaoke club first.” I responded

“Cool, lets go.”

“Wait Steven.” I shouted

“Yes Spinel.” Steven smiled

“I, I need you to hold something for me.” I avowed

“Sure, I'll be happy to help.”

I took out my right hand and reached it out to Steven, palm up.

“My hand.” I cackled shyly

Steven looked at me for a little bit, trying to get a grip of the situation. Until he started to smile.

“(Giggling), your adorable Spinel. Of course I'll hold your hand.” Steven beamed while grapping onto my hand.

He. He called me adorable. Wow, he called me adorable, on our first date. Oh god, I feel like I'm having a heart attack because my heart can't stop beating. He's now holding my hand, his soft skin rubbing onto me. How a I going to make it the whole day without fainting.

We happily dashed to the karaoke club. Inside was just like the interior of the Double Deuce in the movie Road House. It was also very spectral, with smoke, flashing colored lights and giant speakers. It was like a rave in here. Steven and I quickly found a place to sit, now looking at which songs we're going to sing.

“Wow, there's a lot to choose from. What are you going to sing.” Steven asked

“(Giggling), that's a secret. You'll find out soon.” I teased

“Always full of secrets I see.”

Well you got one thing right.

“Okay, you can go first. I'll still need some time to choose.” Steven convinced

“Alright kiddo, I'll go first.” I joked

I walked up to the counter and asked for my song. They told me I was on in five minutes. I walked back to Steven to tell him.

“Hey Stevi, I'm on in five minutes.”

“Cool, I picked mr blue sky electric light orchestra.” Steven mentioned

“Interesting choice bud.”

“Alright everybody give him around of applause. (Laughing) okay folks it's time of our next performer, please welcome to the stage for Spinel.”

(Applause)

I skipped up to the stage, getting ready to sing. Although some people would need to read the lyrics on the screen, but I know this song off by heart.

The song began

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me 🎶

I still feel your touch in my dreams 🎶

Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why 🎶

Without you it's hard to survive 🎶

Here comes the chorus

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling 🎶

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly 🎶

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last 🎶

Need you by my side 🎶

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static 🎶

And every time we kiss I reach for the sky 🎶

Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go 🎶

Want you in my life 🎶

'

(Freestyle dancing)

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky 🎶

They wipe away tears that I cry 🎶

The good and the bad times we've been through them all 🎶

You make me rise when I fall 🎶

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling 🎶

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly 🎶

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last 🎶

Need you by my side 🎶

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static 🎶

And every time we kiss I reach for the sky 🎶

Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go 🎶

Want you in my life 🎶

(More freestyle dancing)

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling 🎶

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly 🎶

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last 🎶

Need you by my side 🎶

(Applause)

“Spinel that was amazing, your singing voice is beautiful.” Steven praised

“Your so sweet Stevi, it's now your turn to shine.” I encouraged

Now as expected, Steven sucked. But we had a good laugh about it. So far this was the best day of my life. This was true heavenly bliss.

Steven and I weren't really hungry, so we got takeout milkshakes from Krazy Kats. We then found a nice place to sit and catch. On a small green hill under a cherry three.

“How's your mint-chip, butterfingers, Reese's PB cups, Hershey's chocolate syrup with no cherry.”

“It's just delicious, how's your plain boring strawberry milkshake.” I joked

“Hey, it's just as good as yours.”

“(Giggling) I'm just messing with you, you look so cute when flustered.” I teased

“Okay now your just being silly.” Steven gushed

“Puff, (laughing).” Steven and I giggled

“Ha ha hah, Spinel this day was amazing. I'm having so much fun with you.” Steven cackled

This is an amazing day, I just want to relive this moment for the rest of my life. I never expected Steven to have fun with someone like me.

Wait, why's Steven frowning. Did I do something wrong. Fuck, I thought I did everything right.

“Spinel, I should have never given that cake you gave me to Connie. I thought I was doing something nice, but I didn't reconsider on how you'll feel. Although it wasn't right that you hit Connie. But, it was my fault that I blown out of proportion. I'm sorry Spinel.” Steven apologized, on the verge of tears.

“I can just act so stupid sometimes. I don't mean to do anything to hurt anyone, but I do it without knowing. I don't know why I'm like this. Ever since my mom was shanked in an ally by Black Hawk thugs, I just find was to mess up. Dads always stressed about paying the bills and taking care of me. He doesn't need that kind of stress I'm giving him. I'm just a burden. I'm a burden to my friends, my teachers and even my closest friend Connie. I just don't want to keep annoying people all the time, telling me to go away and play kid games. And them saying “your bitch mom got what she deserved”, one time I got a note I found in my locker, saying that it would be better for everyone if I just kill myself. (Sobbing). I feel like the whole world is against me, that everyone has some reason to attack me. Because I keep fucking up all the time. I'm just one. big. fuck up.(sobbing).” Steven bawled

Oh god, I had no idea Steven was in this much pain. It seems like on the outside that he's this layback happy guy. But no one notices that he's breaking and dying inside. Like me.

There was only one thing I can do, I wrapped my arms around him, giving him a tight hug.

“I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad, is this why you wanted to hang with me.”

“No!” Steven screamed

“No, no. I really wanted to spend time with you. I felt guilty for hurting you. But I still enjoyed today. (Sobbing).”

“It's okay daring, I'm not going anywhere. You're never a burden Steven Universe. I know things are stressful for you lately. But please don't consider it. I'll miss you, your dad will miss you, your friends and even your pets. You're important to a lot of us.”

“Lets just say this, you off yourself last year. That means you missed all those precious memories to this day. Your birthday, Christmas and even Halloween. All those events are gone, disappeared.”

“Remember last year. When I started the first year of high school. On Monday during lunchtime, I was waiting in-line to by the canteens fresh baked cookies. I was a limited time offer, only on Mondays. When I walked to the counter and asked for one of their cookies. They said “Sorry kid, we're sold out.” So I started to get upset. I wanted those cookies for so long and now there gone. But out of no where, you saw me. Out of the kindness of your heart you game me half of your homemade chocolate-chip cookie. Even though it wasn't as good as the canteens ones. It was still special that someone as kind as you, would share with me.”

“Don't you see goofball. Your actions have an impact on people's lives, a good impact. If you disappeared, that special moment would never happened. I know we don't know each other well, but I really care about you. Because you cared about me, and I would love to hang out more with you. Those last couple of hours were the best moments in my life so far.”

“(Sniffling) you really think so.”

“I know so Steven, you have a big heart and you care and love everyone. But you need to start loving yourself.”

Steven then wrapped his arms around my petite waist.

“Thank you Spinel, thank you so much.”

“I'll never leave you Steven. Never ever.”

To be continued

[oforamuse]

alone without you (by my side)

five times mickey milkovich misses ian gallagher + the one time he doesn’t have to

read on ao3 // tw slurs

juvie

Mickey is horny. Mickey is really fucking horny. Out of his mind, he doesn't know which way is up, teenage freak kind of horny. Getting laid in juvie is a difficult job if he wants to keep his status of ‘not to be fucked with’, plus recovering from a taking a bullet in his leg means he can’t exactly approach anyone subtly (fuck you, Kash). He’s still got a few months to go before he’s released back into the world and he can’t fucking wait, practically counting down the days. Mickey didn’t think there would ever be a day that he would actually miss the shithole South Side, but he does. He misses the loud streets and the broken windows, the L and even the fucking Kash and Grab. He misses… 

No, no he doesn’t. He just wants, needs, to get laid. 

Laid by Ian Gallagher. 

Fuck, Mickey thinks, being betrayed by your own subconscious fucking sucks. He needs to be laid by that freckly ginger fuck soon or he may actually lose his mind (what he has left of it, anyway). Besides, he doesn’t actually miss the kid he just misses his dick. That’s it. He couldn’t give a shit about that Gallagher fuck. He really couldn’t. Not. A. Shit. 

Really. 

He runs his hand through his hair out of frustration, stop being so fucking dramatic Milkovich, since when did he get this fucking ridiculous?

He rolls his eyes at himself, 2 months to go. 

Until then though, it’s him and his trustly right hand alone. Resigning with a sigh, Mickey swings his legs over his bunk and jumps down deftly from the top. 

‘Fuck you going?’ Jay, his roommate, asks absentmindedly from where he’s been throwing a ball against the wall and catching it on the other side of the room. Jay’s not one for useful recreational activities. 

‘None of your fucking business that’s where’ Mickey snaps, grabbing his towel off the hook and swaggering out into the hall. He walks the short distance to the communal bathroom, it’s midday he should be alright, and locks the door behind him. 

His trusty right hand indeed. 

married life

His knuckles sting as he runs them under cool water in the kitchen, he’s pretty certain he’s got some glass in there somewhere. 

Fucking stupid. 

‘The fuck happened to your hand?’ Iggy grunts from where he sits at the table, nursing a beer in one hand and a wad of cash in the other. Who the fuck is giving Iggy cash? Ignoring him, Mickey watches the blood mix in with the water as it gets sucked down the drain and into the sewers. He wishes he could go down with it, down below his house, below the sidewalk, below every single person who knows his name and get sucked into the drain of the fucking earth. Anything to stop the dull ache in his stomach, the ache that feels like someone has force fed him stones, weighing down his every step. The ache that constantly reminds him, no matter where he is or what he’s doing, of Ian fucking Gallagher. Ian, who he hasn’t seen or heard from in over a week, not since he stood in his doorway and told him he was fucking off to the army. Not since Mickey’s eyes stung with tears and ‘please don’t go, please don’t leave me, stay, stay, stay, stay’ threatened to fall out of his mouth and onto the floor between them. 

‘Don’t what?’ Ian had asked, but Mickey knew what he really had been saying. 

You know what the fuck I mean to you, Milkovich. Are you man enough to admit it? To make me stay?

No, he wasn’t, Mickey thinks darkly. The ache getting heavier at the recalled memory. Mandy had called him a pussy, she was right. He is a pussy, a pussy who allowed himself to get this fucked up over a boy, a boy he tells himself every single day that he doesn’t give a shit about. 

He doesn’t know where the shift happened, where the thing with Ian went from banging to…to this emotional shit. Sometimes he feels so much he thinks he’ll drown in it, drown in what he feels for Ian, for men, for what he doesn’t feel towards women. What he should and shouldn’t feel. He doesn’t know when the shift happened but he knows there definitely was one. A moment of clarity, of something clicking into place between the two of them and the entire world changing. Was it the hot summer evenings they spent at the dugout? The hours in the Kash and Grab, between working and fucking? Was it those last few moments of ignorant bliss before his dad came crashing in and their false sense of security fell to the ground? He remembers every single fucking moment of that morning and it makes his skin crawl. 

Get the fuck off him get the fuck off him get the fuck off-

‘Asshole, you’re running up our water bill’ 

Mickey’s snapped back to the kitchen, the water still flowing out of the tap, though there’s no trace of blood left. His other hand grips tightly to the counter top, almost painfully. Lord fucking knows how long he’s been standing there lost, Iggy’s now gone and Mandy stands with a disgusted look on her face, leaning against the fridge. 

‘Fuck off’ He grunts, turning off the running water and walking straight past her to his room, not looking back once.  

prison

6 months, 3 days, 2 hours and a handful of minutes, give or take a few, according to the scratches on Mickey’s bed post. 

Over 6 fucking months since he last saw…Ian. 

Mickey’s heart jumps right up into his throat at the realisation and he feels like he’s going to be sick. There’s a pain in his gut like someone has taken a knife to a vital organ and won’t stop slowly twisting it. 

6 months, twist. 3 days, twist. 2 hours, twist.

And no fucking Ian. 

He knew he’d been kidding himself when he asked Ian to visit him, but this is just cruel. There was a part of him during the first few months that he’d hoped he’d be wrong, that little flicker of hope that perhaps Ian would come to his senses. Maybe his meds would level out, the mania controlled and he’d be on the next bus over to visit. But he hasn’t heard from him, not even a call. It’s humiliating to think about the amount of time Mickey just spent waiting, like a fucking dog for his owner or a 1950s housewife. He’s not a fucking housewife. He’s seen more of his estranged wife and his kid - if it even is his kid - than he has Ian. Mandy hasn’t even been by more than once to check in on him, he hasn’t heard from anyone else either. Not Fiona, not Debbie and sure as hell not Lip, but fuck, who can blame him for being disappointed? He’d clearly managed to kid himself into a false sense of…something, at least. Family? Friends? Fuck knows what, but he’s never doing it again. Love and it’s bullshit. 

Lying there on his shitty prison mattress, all he can think of is Ian’s face behind that glass, reserved and disconnected, having to be paid to even come and see him. As if Mickey hadn’t dropped absolutely everything certain in his life to be by his side, to be with him, to be allowed to love him. And the worst fucking thing? He’d do it again, a thousand times over. He knows that if Ian turned up today, smiling and flirting like he always used to, all of that would be water under the bridge. He had always been told that love makes you crazy, but no one ever told Mickey that it makes you fucking stupid too. 

Fuck, he misses him. He loves him and he always will with every single fibre of his being, every bone and every atom. 

I love you. The hell does that even mean? 

Twist, twist, twist.

mexico 

He’s been working closely with a few guys the last couple of weeks, dealing and selling, working the streets here and there. Mickey tries not to stay in one place for too long, doesn’t make friends, doesn’t own much shit. It works for him. He’s safe here, but only if he keeps it that way. 

‘You ready?’ Emiliano asks from the front seat, a lit cigarette hanging from his bottom lip. Jose is passed out in the passenger seat, feet up high on the dashboard and lightly snoring. 

‘Yeah’ Mickey grunts in reply, adjusting the sunglasses on his face, carefully minding the bruising under his left eye. He’d managed to get into a shit faced drunk bar fight last night and gained himself a punch to the face and a kick in the groin before he was pulled off the guy. This American guy a table over had been shit talking for hours, Mickey doesn’t even remember (or give a fuck) what it was mostly about. He does remember, however, him spitting out ‘fags’ at these two other guys who’d been standing innocently next to each other at the bar. Mickey didn’t even know if they were together, or if they had just happened to be standing there at the same moment. That was what sealed the deal for Mickey, leaping over the table and going straight for the fucker’s nose. 

He reaches into his pockets for a cigarette and lights it as it balances between his lips. They’re driving further South to another city where their boss has some connections he wants to solidify, apparently they’ve not done business in a while so he’s sending Mickey down there to start off some talks. It makes Mickey feel like an important part of the operation, as if he was needed, but, he also knows it’s because if he ended up dead in a basement with a bullet in his skull, they wouldn’t feel like they lost one of their own. He gets it, whatever. 

‘You miss America?’ 

His stomach jolts and the car suddenly feels too hot. The sun is powerful, it burns directly through the window and onto Mickey’s skin. 

‘What stupid fucking question is that?’ 

Does he miss America? Does he miss being on the run? Prison? Having absolutely no one?

Well, not no one. 

‘Your home, do you miss it?’ Emiliano catches Mickey’s eyes in the mirror, and even though he’s wearing sunglasses Mickey shifts his gaze uncomfortably to the moving road out of the window. Fuck feeling like he’s under a microscope. 

‘No I don’t fucking miss America, ain’t got no home there’ He mutters, taking a drag and blowing the smoke out into the air. 

‘You ain’t got a girl there?’ 

Mickey barks out an exasperated laugh which leaves a sour taste in his mouth. 

‘No girl’ He spits bitterly, hoping Emiliano gets bored of this game of 21 questions he seems to be playing and move the fuck on. 

‘No girl, dawg? So coming here was pretty easy for you then, yeah? You wanted that Mexican sunshine!’ 

He snorts. Easy isn’t exactly how Mickey would put it. Ripping your heart out of your chest with your bare hands and stomping on it a few hundred times before feeding it to a pack of wild dogs is probably how Mickey would put it. 

There is nothing easy about thinking you’d finally fucking make it across the finish line and having it taken away from you almost instantly. There is nothing easy about the man you have loved since you were a kid telling you that he loves you but he can’t come with you. There is nothing easy about kissing him desperately at the border, begging with every touch that he’d change his mind but he doesn’t. Driving across the border alone, leaving the only person you’ve ever actually loved behind isn’t fucking easy. 

Loving Ian Gallagher is easy, though. Once he let himself given in, once he finally faced those feelings head on and gave himself permission, it was easy. Deep down, it’s always been easy. It was the rest of the shit in their lives that wasn’t. Mexico was supposed to be their paradise, their freedom together but instead Mickey is here, alone. Forever. 

He doesn’t know when he’ll see Ian again, but fuck, he knows that he loves him. 

prison (again)

Mickey keeps his eyes on Ian until he sees him disappear around the corner and out of sight. Out into the world a free man, back to Chicago and his fucked up family. That’s where he belongs, that’s where he’s always belonged. Not in here, not locked up like an animal surrounded by criminals. Mickey’s heart pounds, it feels like it’s threatening to pump itself right out of his chest and spill directly out onto the floor. He knows he’ll be getting his new roommate assignment soon, some new guy will be sleeping in Ian’s bed, ruining the little world they created for themselves here. He knows missing their prison life is ridiculous, because who the fuck has a good time in prison? But it was the first time in their sorry lives that they could just be together. No homophobic dads, no out of control mental illnesses, no need to run to run away - if they could run away. 

Mickey knew rolling on the cartel for Ian was a big decision, he knew that Ian’s crime was a lesser one that his and there was a possibility for him to get out earlier than him. He knew it deep down all along, except he really thought that perhaps the universe would be kind to him, just this once, and let them have longer together. Apparently not. Everyone else is allowed to be with the people they love but not Mickey Milkovich, not at all. It feels all they fucking do is say goodbye to one another. 

His hands start to shake, and fuck, he misses him already. It’s ridiculous, they’ve gone months and months without contact, they’ve been in different countries and states without hearing a word from one another and yet this is hurting his chest like no other goodbye before. Was it the false sense of safety they’d created for themselves? Was it kidding themselves that they finally had this, after all their literal years of waiting. 

Mickey hangs onto their goodbye from a few moments before, or had it already been hours? He doesn’t know, he’s not taken his eyes off the last spot he saw Ian before he left, left Mickey, left them behind. 

Shut the fuck up, he begs himself, this time is going to be different. He knows that, he knows that they are still them, even if Ian is out there and Mickey is in here. Ian isn’t about to go find some other guy to shack up with whilst Mickey does his time, he knows that. Or at least he thinks he does. He hopes he does. Still, he can’t help but be reminded of every other time he’s been lulled into a false sense of hope by Ian Gallagher. Mickey loves him regardless but boy, does he have a talent for breaking Mickey’s heart. 

This time will be different, he repeats, finally pulling himself away from the glass window. He turns reluctantly to look at their beds, Ian’s one looking hauntingly empty whilst it awaits its new owner. The thought of climbing into his empty bed tonight without Ian on top of him is depressing, and though they rarely actually slept alone, it was nice to always know he wasn’t far away. He’d been far away for too long. 

Last night they lay tangled in Ian’s sheets, sweaty and spent but momentarily content in each other’s arms. The moment passed and the next morning’s event dawned on them both quite quickly. Mickey failed to hold back the threatening tears as he whispered his love against Ian’s neck in the dark. 

‘I love you, I never want to be apart from you’ 

‘I know Mick, I know. I love you too’ Ian tightened his grip around Mickey as he kissed the top of his head, bringing him in as close as he could. ‘It won’t be long’. 

Mickey sighs and climbs up onto Ian’s empty bed, fuck it, if Ian isn’t the one sleeping here then definitely no stranger will be. He hates top bunks but he knows he’ll lose his mind if he stays down below. He’s only ever been on the bottom for Ian, so why change that now? 

He sniggers quietly at his own stupid joke, before rolling over solomly to face away from the door. His chest hurts, his heart hurts, his fucking everything hurts. He closes his eyes and imagines Ian is still next to him, like he used to when he was here the first time or when he was down in Mexico. He’s used to loving Ian from afar. 

It won’t be long.

+ the honeymoon

Fucking Terry.

They really should’ve let Mickey murder that fucker when he wanted to because he’s getting real tired of his relentless shit. They’re covered in feathers, lying naked on the floor of their honeymoon suite, hearts racing from almost being shot rather than the sex they were about to have. 

‘Your fucking Dad’ Ian laughs at the ridiculousness of it all, rolling over to give Mickey a hand getting up. 

‘Ay, you should’ve let me shoot him like I wanted, at least we would’ve been able to bang on our honeymoon in peace’ Mickey snips back, attempting and failing to shake off as many of the feathers as he can. 

‘We’ve definitely had the chance to bang in peace’ 

‘Then why aren’t we banging right now?’ 

‘Fair point’ Ian grabs Mickey by the hips and pulls him closer, man handling him in the way he knows his husband likes it. Ian cups the back of his head and brings Mickey’s lips to his, softly then with more pressure. They kiss slowly before Mickey pulls back, clearly still distracted by his father being a homicidal maniac. 

‘Fuck, I want him dead.’ Mickey searches Ian’s eyes in hopes of meeting him halfway and knowing that this is the only way that they will be able to be together like they’ve always wanted. Christ, they’re fucking married for fucksake and it’s still not enough for the universe to let them be. 

‘I know you do, Mick. If there’s any fucker that deserves to be murdered it’s him but-’ 

‘But what?’ Mickey snaps,

‘We’re married, you’re my husband and I can’t let you be thrown in prison when I just got you back’ Ian says, brushing his fingers softly through Mickey’s hair to get the remaining few feathers out. ‘We’ve been apart for so fucking long, so let’s just have this. Now. We’ll figure out a way to deal with Terry, I promise we will.’ 

Mickey softens, his heart stuttering in his chest as the urgency to carry out Terry’s immediate death ebbs away. He takes a deep breath and rests his forehead against Ian’s, pulling him in. 

‘I love you.’ He whispers, and fuck he will never get used to the freedom he feels every single time he gets to say that to him without fear. Fear for his life, fear he wouldn’t hear it back, fear he would never get the chance to hear it back. 

‘I’ve loved you since I was 15 years old, Mickey Milkovich, your father isn’t going to change that’ Ian softly replies, pressing a kiss lightly to Mickey’s lips. 

‘Ay, that’s Gallagher to you’ Mickey mumbles, pulling back. They haven’t had that particular conversation about the name thing yet so it’s mainly supposed to come off as a joke. 

‘Mickey Gallagher’ Ian laughs, testing the feeling of the new name out in his mouth. ‘I think I like the sound of that’ 

‘Ian Milkovich?’ Mickey suggests, giving Ian a knowing look, ‘Dad would love that’. 

Both boys laugh softly, they know that Terry would probably burn down the entire South Side if that ever happened. Perhaps that’s all the more reason to do the name change, in hopes that it gives the old bastard a heart attack or some shit. Mickey could only dream. 

‘Come’ Ian says, grabbing Mickey by the arm and leading him back to the bed in the centre of the room. It’s covered in all sorts of crap from the bullets but with a quick swipe Ian manages to send most of it to the floor. He flops straight down on the bed and pulls Mickey down on top of him. 

This is it. This is what Mickey has been craving for years, the chance to lie in Ian’s arms without a timer on his back or anything else looming horribly over them. He knows they’ll have to deal with Terry soon, because Milkovichs don’t give up, but right now, he’s allowed to have this. He doesn’t know what his new name will be or whether or not they’re gonna move back into the Gallagher house or if Terry’s going to drive by in 2 minutes with another round of ammo. What he does know, and he knows this for a fact, is he is never fucking letting go of the man beside him. It’s also nice to know that Ian isn’t planning on letting him go any time soon either, which sadly shouldn’t come as much as a relief as it does. It’s hard to not think about everything as temporary when it’s felt like most of his life has been stuck on pause. 

Mickey shuffles around slightly so he can lie comfortably on Ian’s chest, his hand resting softly on his rib cage. He can feel Ian breathing in and out, rhythmically up and down. He’s safe. They’re safe. They’re together. They can just be.

‘What’re you thinking so hard about?’ Ian asks, his hand coming up to rest gently on the top of Mickey’s, their rings aligning perfectly. 

‘You’ Mickey replies, ‘Always you’. 

[shirtlesssammy]

1x11: Scarecrow

Welcome to our harvest themed hiatus episode. Hope everyone enjoyed their freakin’ pie this week!

Burkitsville, Indiana

Sixteen Years One Year Ago

A young couple leave a friendly town after the townsfolk load them up with pie and gas for the car. “Everyone in this town is so nice,” remarks the wraith young woman. The man adds, “Yeah, what’s the catch?” The townsfolk’s daughter niece notes that the dude has a cool arm tattoo. 

Once on the road, the couple’s car dies. I love how the woman asks what happened and the dude is just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . They head into an orchard looking for help. They come across a scarecrow. 

The woman is a bit freaked out, and I would be too if I saw the damn thing move! They hear strange noises and start running. The camera work gets grainy so you know we’re in scarytime land. The couple gets separated. The woman runs alone until she finds the man again -faceless and dead on the ground. She screams and then the now loose and animate scarecrow is upon her! 

*John Winchester is a Horrible Father Alert*

Sam wakes to a ringing cell phone. He answers it and it’s John. He’s all evasive and apologetic about disappearing. He’s on the trail of the thing that killed their mom. It’s a demon! They have to stop chasing him. It’s not safe. Sam refuses. He wants answers. John jumps into drill sergeant father mode and Sam continues to balk. 

Dean grabs his phone, AND MY GOD, watching Jensen transform silently while Dean listens to John talk is magnificent. He just falls right into order, writes down the names of three missing couples, and the brothers hit the road. 

*Sam is driving Alert*

Ok, hold the phone, Dean’s giving backstory to the missing couples. They’ve gone missing every year in the second week of April. I --what? I should probably watch the whole episode before recapping, and I haven’t seen this episode in years and don’t really remember the secret. There were apples all over the orchard implying it’s the fall...hmm. Dean’s amazed at the level of research John did to figure out something was happening. He calls him “a master” and I just die a little knowing how very little John knows. 

Sam stops the car and tells Dean that they’re not going to Indiana; they’re going to California. 

John is on the trail of what killed Mary and Jess, and Sam wants to be there for it. Dean insists that John gave them an order (I’m having serious John/Chuck and Soldier Dean/Free Will feelings right now, give me a moment). Whew, Sam pulls the ‘My girlfriend just died six months ago’ card and insists that Dean can’t know how important this is to him. Dean continues to be a good little soldier though. Sam gets out of the car and tells Dean that he’s going to California. See ya! Dean tries pulling what I can only imagine the same move John pulled many times over the years, and tells Sam that he’ll leave him on the side of the road. That’s what Sam wants! Dean leaves. 

Oof, there’s a lot to unpack with that fight. I’ll just throw up @mittensmorgul​ post. I’m just so very happy to see how far Dean’s come. 

Dean pulls into the town in Indiana. He meets Scotty, owner of the local cafe. He introduces himself as John Bonham. “Isn’t that the drummer for Led Zeppelin?” How this hasn’t happened more over the years is beyond me. 

Dean asks about the missing people and Scotty dismisses him quickly. They don’t get a lot of strangers around the town. Dean tries flirting with the guy but the man is a stone wall. 

*Meg Alert*

Sam, meanwhile, continues to walk down the road hoping to see a passing car. He finds a young woman just sitting and listening to music instead. Like, wtf is Meg doing? Sam, how is this not suspicious activity to you? Anyway, a truck pulls up and offers to take only the lady. 

Dean asks at the general store about his “friends”. Emily, the young woman there, remembers them. Dean heads off to where the couple was last seen driving. Dean’s driving along and his EMF starts to go nuts. He’s right by the orchard and walks in to investigate. How is this April? Anyway, Dean finds the scarecrow and we’re gifted with the now iconic line: “Dude, you fugly.” 

He takes a closer look at the scarecrow and sees the tattoo on the arm. SMART, OBSERVANT BOY. 

Dean heads back to town. He stops to get gas and talk to Emily. (Sidenote: Can all guest stars wear a necklace with their names on it so I’m not scrambling to figure out names every week? Thx.) Emily tells Dean how she came to the town when she was 13. It’s the middle of nowhere, but she loves it. This town seems blessed compared to the surrounding towns. Dean’s not suspicious at all. Dean asks about the scarecrow. Emily admits that it’s always just been there. Detective Dean also finds out a couple is in town waiting on their car to get repaired. 

Sam is dealing with the nightmare that is the American Car Culture and lack of decent mass transit across our expansive 50 states. He runs into Meg again. This time she introduces herself. 

Dean heads to Scotty’s to find the couple (and eat pie.) Boy does he need to work on his casual chit chat. Scotty is suspicious AF at Dean and tells him to leave them alone. Dean doesn’t and even offers to fix their car for them so they can hit the road sooner. They decline his offer, and like, I get it, but HOW DARE they accuse Dean of not being a mechanic. 

Dean tries to warn them again but just comes off as creepy and they brush him off. Dean laments the lack of Sam’s puppy dog face, and then Scotty calls the local law enforcement on him. They literally chase him out of town. Lol. 

Meg and Sam bond over a romantic bag of Cheetos and some beer. She’s on the run from family expectations too! Looks like they’re made for each other, friends. (This is the nicest damn bus station I’ve ever seen. It has NAPKIN holders! And tables! And beer!)

While Sam’s enjoying a meet-cute, the couple from the restaurant clutch each other in the apple orchard, the scarecrow in hot pursuit, when Dean appears. He shouts at them to run back to their car and shoots fruitless holes in the scarecrow. The moment they all arrive back on the road, the scarecrow disappears. 

On his phone, Sam gets the hunt recap from Dean while he watches his new friend sleep at the station. Dean figures that he’s dealing with a god because the killing happens once a year, it’s always couples, and “you should see the locals. The way they treated this couple. Fattenin’ ‘em up like a Christmas turkey.” It’s ritual sacrifice, baby. While Dean’s talking, he’s driving out to a local community college to meet with a professor there and get some information about what kind of god he might be fighting. He tells Sam that he’s proud of him for defying their father and going his own way in life. Dean wishes he could do the same. To quote Boris, excuse me while I fling myself into a volcano. 

Dean chats with the Cigarette Smoking Man a professor in the nicest damn community college I have ever seen. He asks about pagan lore and the origin of the residents of Burkitsville. They were Scandinavian which leads to Dean’s next pointed question: he’s looking for a Scandinavian god who might live in an apple orchard. They pull down an ancient book of lore - the kind that is standard issue in every community college classroom - and start paging through looking for a “woods” god. 

Dean spots a creepy scarecrow drawing. The description lists the scarecrow as a Vanir, a norse god of protection and prosperity which keeps villages from harm. Worshippers built effigies of the Vanir in their fields, and some practiced human sacrifice. They’re tied to a sacred tree. Dean, my best and direct friend, asks, “So what would happen if the sacred tree was torched? You think it’d kill the god?” LOL, there’s no such thing as gods, young man! Dean bids farewell to the professor and immediately gets conked out by the Burkitsville sheriff. SIGNIFICANT LOOKS™ are exchanged between the professor and sheriff.

Later, rain falls heavily on a group of older folks standing outside under umbrellas. Three of them plead with Harley, the gas station owner. His wife tells him that the trees are beginning to die. It’s the “seventh night of the cycle” and they have one more chance to appease “it.” Dun dun DUN.

For Pretty Shot Science

Cut to a cellar door opening. The cadre of elderly conspirators hauls a tearful Emily down to be trapped alongside Dean. Her aunt comfortingly tells her that it’s for “the common good.” (This REALLY makes me want to rewatch Hot Fuzz again!)

At the bus station, Sam and Meg’s bus finally arrives. But Sam’s got a problem. His brother hasn’t answered his phone for the last three hours. He’s got to go to Burkitsville! “You’re running back to your brother? The guy you ran away from?” Meg implores Sam to go to California with her, but Sam tells her he can’t. His family needs him. 

In the cellar, Emily freaks out about her newfound knowledge of a murderous scarecrow god and her accomplice relatives. Dean describes human sacrifice as “classier” than plain murder and…Dean Bean. More helpfully, he tries to put together a game plan with Emily. He asks her about an old tree - one the locals might treat with respect. Emily does know about a tree that the locals call “the First Tree.” Subtle naming, dear locals!

They’re seized from the cellar and tied in the orchard as evening approaches. Emily pleads for her life, but her aunt tells her that family bonds aren’t enough to save her. “That’s what sacrifice means. Giving up something you love for the greater good.” (I’ll just...look directly into the camera.)

Much later, night’s fallen and Dean is still working on a plan to free them both. Something insidious approaches and….wait, it’s Sam! Dean’s practically giddy to see his brother, who stole a car to get to town in time. What a good, thieving bean! Dean tells Sam to keep an eye on the scarecrow because it “could come alive any minute.”

In classic horror movie fashion, Sam asks, “What scarecrow?”

The scarecrow’s on the loose, but our trio is finally free in the orchard. They’re prevented from escaping by the four town elders penning them in with shotguns, however. Harley tries to convince Emily to give up (and die) when the scarecrow’s sickle slices through him, killing him. It drags Stacy and Harley away, having claimed its yearly couple at last. 

The next morning Sam, Dean, and Emily walk through the orchard with a can of fuel. They find the “First Tree” which has runes carved into its bark. Sam douses it with gasoline and Emily lights the tree on fire. Look at this wholesome tale of youth dismantling a toxic system!

Back at the station I finally get a good look at the bus company. It’s called “American Freedom Coach Lines.” LOL, if you need me I’ll be picking myself up from the floor after being hit by this symbolic brick. 

Emily boards a bus headed towards Boston. Dean gleefully anticipates the murder-town’s slow, god-less demise before asking Sam about his plans. “I still wanna find Dad. And you’re still a pain in the ass. But, Jess and Mom…they’re both gone. Dad is god knows where. You and me. We’re all that’s left. So, if we’re gonna see this through, we’re gonna do it together.” Can I get a yee-haw?!

Meanwhile, Meg’s hitched a ride with Creepy Driver Number 2 and suggests “pulling over” when he asks her where she wants to go. He pulls a little way off the road and she takes out a silver bowl. “I’ve gotta make a call,” she tells him before slicing his throat open and filling the bowl with blood. She stirs it, mutters an incantation, and then asks the bowl why she wasn’t allowed to just kill Sam and Dean. Someone clearly gives her orders and she says, rather ominously, “Yes, Father.”

Natasha: This is one of my favorite episodes! What’s not to love about creepy scarecrows and murderous fertility/prosperity rituals?

____________________________

I Hope These Quotes Were Frickin’ Worth It:

I’ve given you an order

I don’t understand the blind faith you have in the man

Dude, you fugly

Nice tat

My brother could give you this puppy dog look and you’d buy right into it

Indiana isn’t really known for its Pagan worship

I hope your apple pie is freakin’ worth it!

Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.

____________________________

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[trucrimejunkies]

Before we start this, I have to admit that this is a case that is close to home. Though I did not know Maura personally, she went to my high school and I know people that were friends with her before her disappearance. My mother also drives a school bus for the town and Maura was on her bus.

Maura Murray was born May 4th, 1982 in Hanson, Massachusetts, to Fred and Laurie Murray. She also had 4 siblings. Maura graduated from Whitman-Hanson Regional High School in the year 2000 and then went on to University of Massachusetts (UMASS) of Amherst, studying nursing.

Maura went missing on February 9th, 2004 after crashing her car into at tree on Rt. 112 in Woodsville, New Hampshire. To this day, no one knows or has heard from Maura.

I will post more under the read more because this is going to be a long post. I am super invested in this case. 

So let’s back this up a little bit to why Maura was in New Hampshire and not at school in Massachusetts. In the afternoon of February 9th, Maura emailed her professors telling them that she was going to take a week off due to a family emergency - however according to her family, there was no family emergency at all.

A few days before on February 6th, Maura had talked to her older sister on the phone about their life and the problems they had been having. The next day, February 7th, Maura took a call at work that visibly upset her. Her supervisor had to bring her back to her dorm room. It was reported that Maura was allegedly sobbing saying “my sister, my sister.”

The day before Maura disappeared, she crashed her father’s brand new Toyota causing $10,000 in damage. So it seems the few days before Maura went missing, she was experiencing distress - but that is all speculation as well since no one has heard from Maura since the day she disappeared.

According to Boston Magazine, Maura contacted her boyfriend by email the same day (around 1pm) she disappeared stating, “"I got your messages, but honestly, I didn't feel like talking too much of anyone, I promise to call today though.” There is also evidence that she had looked into a condo to visit that her and her family had stayed at in the past. A few minutes later, she emailed her school and her work supervisor stating that there was a family emergency/ death in the family and she would not be around school or work for the week. However according to Maura’s family, there was no death in the family or a family emergency.

A few hours later, around 3:30pm, Maura drove her car off of campus and took off north.  She stopped at a bank and withdrew $280 as well as stopping at a local liquor store before leaving the state of Massachusetts. Surveillance cameras at both the ATM and the liquor store shows that Maura was alone in both places. According to her phone records, she checked her phone one last time around 4:35pm to check her voicemail. There was no activity after that.

The next time Maura would be seen that day would be up in the White Mountains of Haverhill, New Hampshire on a dark and windy road - where according to locals, Maura would have little to no service on her cell phone. Also we have to remember that the was 2004, cellphones were not as good or wide spread as they are today.

Maura was spotted in the White Mountains by bus driver, Butch Atwood who had reported that her car had been crashed into a snowbank on the side of the road.

The bus driver, Butch stopped and asked Maura if she needed any help - which she declined, saying she had already called AAA and the police and they are on their way. Being a local, Butch knew that there was no way that Maura had any cell service where she was and when he got back into town, he called the police himself - thinking the whole thing was very suspicious.

At 7:46pm, the police arrived to where Maura had crashed her car, but Maura was no where to be found. Not only that, but all of the doors to her car were locked. Back on campus, the police investigated her dorm room as well, noting that most of her things had been packed up. There was also a printed email laying out suggesting that she and her boyfriend were having issues.

Red stains which were not believed to be blood but red wine were found on the interior of the car once they got into it, as well as the exterior of the car. Inside the car, they also found empty cans of beer and a damaged box of wine. According to Oxygen, they also found these items in the car: “an AAA card issued to Murray, blank accident-report forms, gloves, compact discs, makeup, diamond jewelry, two sets of MapQuest driving directions (one to Burlington, Vermont, another to Stowe, Vermont), and a book about mountain climbing in the White Mountains, according to the Concord Monitor.”

However her debit cards, credit cards and cell phone were all missing from the scene - but they were also never used again.  Another suspicious thing to be noted was that they found a rag in the tailpipe of Maura’s car which has stumped everyone for years.

Besides what was in the car, police did not seem to find much else on Maura Murray or where she could have gone or been taken to. The police brought out dogs that found zero trace or scent of Maura past her car, which could mean she had planned this and hopped into another car right from hers - or that she was kidnapped the same way.

There are little to no details on what happened to Maura. Her father, Fred believes she was kidnapped by “some dirtbags,” but there is no real evidence that shows that either.

There are many people, especially locals around the Hanson area that believe that Maura simply took off. She did not want to live this life she had anymore in Massachusetts and took off for the Canadian border with whoever she was waiting for at the car crash site.

Some believe that she was escaping to protect a secret child, others believe she ran to escape an abusive relationship, but we simply do not know the hard facts of why or what happened to Maura. But all the police say the same thing, if she took off, she had to have known the driver because it was obvious that this was a quick exchange before they were gone.

On February 8th, 2012, 8 years after Maura had been missing, a man that called himself 112dirtbag on YouTube uploaded eery and creepy videos of himself laughing and looking into the camera. The description of most his videos and even his channel just says “Happy Anniversary,” which is geared toward the date Maura went missing.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdezH0fwna0iSSxDFJlxn2w

However, police believe that the man, was just “trolling” the family because the father was calling whoever took Maura “dirtbags” and she went missing on route 112. Other than that, there was no evidence that this man was involved with Maura’s disappearance.

Other than these dead end leads, there is no evidence on what happened to Maura. Sadly, her mother, Lauris passed away in 2009 never knowing what happened to her daughter. And it seems at this rate, we all may never find out what happened to Maura.

In February of 2019, on the fifteenth anniversary of Murray's disappearance, her father opened up again that he believed his daughter was dead and in or under the house that Butch Atwood once owned. In April, an excavation of the house was done, but nothing of Maura was found. 

[howtotrainyouragents]

FitzDaisy Headcanons

It’s chicken soup for the soul :D

-Speaking of chicken soup, when Daisy comes down with a cold and is bedridden, Fitz is the one who takes care of her. Well, Simmons is the one officially in charge of taking care of her, but Simmons is all about over-mothering and anti-biotics and healthy nutrient bars. So Fitz has to ninja his way into Daisy’s room to bring her ice cream and movies and his favorite monkey stuff animal and then somersault his way back out. “Fitz, you can use the door normally.” “You never let me have any fun!” 

-Meanwhile while when Fitz gets sick, he doesn’t stop working. He just keeps going until he passes out at his desk. Simmons tries to get him to rest, but he doesn’t give in until Daisy exasperatedly threatens to quake his ass if he doesn’t go sleep. He only settles down once he gets to snuggle the giant monkey stuffed animal Daisy leaves for him on his bed; although he rejects out of the hand the name she gives it, Mr. Scottish Fluffywuggums

-The fun thing about them is that they’re both tech nerds. Daisy’s computers and Fitz’s engineering, so when it overlaps, they have a ball. They’re at it non-stop talking deep tech stuff and trying out new codes and wiring and, of course, there’s a goofy, complicated handshake whenever they succeed 

-Movie nights are absolutely a thing. Throughout S1 and S2, they binge scary movies like Paranormal Activity all the time. but after the drama of the later seasons, they decide they need something lighter. They marathon action movies like Indiana Jones and Star Wars and Men in Black, before Fitz finally convinces her to turn on a romcom (come on, he’s a romantic!). Daisy is unimpressed, but by the end they’re both tearing up

-From the Bus to the Playground to the Lighthouse, they always set up a secret sugar and sweets cabinet ASAP for stress eating and late-night snacking. They share the secret location of the cabinet with Simmons and Yo-Yo, but Fitz and Daisy alone can choose the snacks. Daisy loves caramel sweetness and Fitz loves nutty goodies. Daisy smuggles some candy onto the Zephyr for when they finally rescue Fitz from space

-Whenever they see the other person’s phone lying unattended, they’re obliged by laws of nature to take a terrible selfie and make it the said person’s lockscreen

-Whenever Daisy wants to annoy Fitz, she just pulls out her really bad Scottish accent. “I don’t sound like that!” “Yeah you do, laddie!” Followed by everyone in the vicinity "Oh yeah she’s got it. Spot on” for no reason other than to tease Fitz. Coulson finally has to put an end to it by banning all Scottish accents, much to Fitz’s horror

 -Fitz is really good for hugs and he has like a sixth sense for when someone needs comforting. He’ll run like mad from the other side of HQ because he sensed Daisy is starting to cry bc of stress or loneliness

-Fitz runs all his Romantic Plans by her, which is a great idea bc 1) Daisy knows her bff, Simmons and 2) She usually enables him: “Yes! Great idea! Go Bigger! Get a white horse!” and then at some point Fitz is like “I’m an agent for an underground spy agency. How much money do you think I have?” “I don’t know, man, get it from wherever we get all this money for tech and people but somehow not for good lighting.” 

-They’ll have gossip sessions where they’ll make fun of Daisy’s exes and Will. Those never get old

-Sometimes they’ll get a beer and just sit outside and talk about deep stuff. They’ll talk about life before SHIELD and Fitz’s mom and how much Daisy misses her parents. They’ll talk about Daisy being afraid she’ll never find love and Fitz being afraid of ruining his relationship with Simmons. And after they return from space, Fitz talks about how afraid of himself he is after the Framework. Daisy’s like “About that...” and she tells him about his psychic split. Fitz’s like “Well, I can understand with the given circumstances and stress how that happened and how it was the only way to solve the gravitonium problem.” And Daisy’s afraid that he doesn’t care. But then he starts crying and choking out “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I did that. I scared you, I hurt you” which makes her cry too. And at that point, they just hug. Because sometimes you just need a friend and a hug.

[sarakuper]

San Rafael; Work Away

Stop #3, December 21-January 7

Our time in San Rafael was very relaxing, thrilling, and interesting. Some days we spent doing little to nothing, which was nice for a few days but too boring for me at some points. Other days Sean and I did some awesome activities pushing us both way out of our comfort zones. Lastly, we experienced authentic Colombian culture first hand. Being there for holidays and festivals meant we were there for some of the most quiet and exciting days of the year.

When we arrived on Saturday we had no idea what to expect. This stop being our first WorkAway, we wondered…what work would we be doing? How many hours were expected of us? Are any meals included? For that first day we hung out and enjoyed the beautiful location at the hostel, which is located on a steep hill, completely open and overlooking the city. It’s totally lush and absolutely beautiful. The view alone is a reason to spend all day in the hostel relaxing. 

There are 3 people who own the hostel, all Colombian, and all in their 20’s. Lili was there when we arrived, Manuel arrived the next day (Sunday), and Laura arrived after spending Christmas with her family in Medellin. Immediately after arriving Sean and I fell in love with their cat Canela, which is “cinnamon” in Spanish. We thought she was a kitten because she isn’t full sized, but it turns out she is an old lady! She lived on the property with the previous owner, who was thought to be not very kind to her. When Lili, Laura, and Manuel bought the place about a year ago, Canela was pregnant with a dead litter. They paid to have them surgically removed, and since then Canela has been their beloved pet. She is so cuddly and sweet. She jumps on your lap for pets or a nap, and she answer to your calls. She’s the kind of cat that acts like a dog. We immediately fell in love with her. It’s not like we are trying to fill a void or anything... :)

When Manuel arrived on Sunday we discussed the work we would be doing; we would redo the kitchen (and it really needed it) and lunch would be provided. We started making plans for this work Monday morning. I was going to repaint the kitchen and organize it differently while Sean would build some cabinet doors and shelves. Our work load was different each day. Sometimes we felt good with the work we were doing that we spent hours doing it. Other days we did little to nothing. Either way, Leidy and Karen came every morning to clean the hostel, and during our first week Leidy cooked us lunch too. And wow did she cook us the most delicious healthy food!!!

Leidy and Karen live in the same building as the hostel/language school in a separate apartment. Leidy is probably in her late 30’s or early 40’s, and Karen is her 10 year old daughter. Neither of them spoke a word of english, but they quickly became a big part of our trip in San Rafael. Since Karen was off from school she came to help her mom cook and clean every morning. One morning I was doing some henna on hands and legs when Karen told me “linda!” which means “cute” or “pretty” in Spanish. I asked her if she wanted one, and when she said yes I told her to ask her mom first. Next thing you know, I was giving henna tattoos to both Karen and Leidy; mandala type flowers on their legs and their names written on their wrists. I wish I took a photo of this, but I didn’t :(. I did however take a picture of my henna, and finally took a picture with Leidy and Karen on our last day.

From then on, Karen and I would hang out together almost every morning. She would help me study Spanish while also helping her mom work. I would pull up a new vocabulary word I wanted to learn from an app on my phone, and she and I would practice using that word in a sentence. She would then correct my awful grammar before moving on to the next new word. Some evenings after that I saw Karen and Leidy hanging out outside or walking into town. We always talked and all made efforts to communicate as much as possible. My broken Spanish was enough to connect with both of them, but what it really highlighted was that you don’t need to speak the same language to express love and kindness.

Over Christmas Eve we joined Lili’s boyfriend, Brandon, at his house where he was hosting a BBQ. And that’s exactly how Colombians celebrate Christmas; they BBQ on the street with beers and loud music. And they were kind enough to grill lots of veggies for me :)

During our time in San Rafael we experienced some epic thunder storms. It rained almost every night, and being in a hostel where the common area is wide open made the storms so fun. Normally when we went into town we did so in the evening and nights, only because the days were so hot, and so walking up and down the hills to the city center was a bit warm… but, every time we went out at night it was like a guessing game if we would get poured on. Every night was cloudy, so there was really no telling. It made it a little more fun :) I love rain in warm weather! 

Another day, after working and panting in the morning, we went to the nearest watering hole for a quick swim. Lili’s mom was in town, so we went together plus Bendzhi, a Chinese girl staying at our hostel long term. The watering hole was amazing for people watching. So many locals go there to cool off and swim. Kids ands dogs run around everywhere while vendors sell snacks from fresh fruit to churros. I wish I had photos, but it was better to bring little to nothing since we were ditching our stuff to go swimming.

Steve was another guy at our hostel, probably in his mid 40’s, and from Canada. We spent a good amount of time with him, especially after hiking to a waterfall with him, and Manuel. The hike was pretty short but beautiful. We walked right by horses and cows/bulls before approaching the waterfall.

Just before NYE Lili left to spend time in San Carlos, another town about an hour west, for the next month or so. Laura and Manuel both went to meet Manuel’s family, and so Sean and I had the hostel to ourselves. We went out in town and hung out at a bar until midnight, when everyone got up to hug and kiss each other. Soon after Sean and I went home to hit the hay. Neither of us were feeling great (my throat was sore and he had an allergy attack), plus we don’t particularly care much for this holiday.  

Something I loved about staying at this hostel was that on most days a group of small monkeys would come looking for food. Of course we bought bananas in preparation of this, and fed them quite often. They are so small and so cute!!! They would call at us until we fed them their beloved bananas.

The most exciting thing we did during our time in San Rafael was a canyoneering trip with Manuel, his sister Julianna, and her husband Freddy. We hiked to a spot along a river, got into wet suits and harnesses, and began our decent in the river. We slid down the rocks, jumped off cliffs, and repelled our way through the river. Sean’s fear of heights kicked in during the last part of the activity. But, there we were.. and there was no turning back! This trip was short, but seriously one of the coolest things we’ve done. We were so high on life from the awesome adventure it was!

Another day Manuel and Laura invited us on a fishing trip again with his sister and brother in law. We fished along a river, and although Sean and I both didn’t catch anything we still enjoyed the experience very much. Colorful birds where flying all around us, calling out to each other, and it was really beautiful to watch. Eventually we made our way to a waterfall where we “parked” our boats to go explore. We climbed to the top of the waterfall where we found a beautiful swimming hole to enjoy all to ourselves. We explored deeper, climbing up the next small waterfall. It was absolutely stunning, and easily the highlight of the fishing trip. We swam and jumped off the rocks (don’t worry- Manuel, a certified guide, checked to see that they were safe first) while enjoying all the beauty around us.

The next day we had the opportunity to visit a Panela farm, watching its production from start to finish. Panela is the natural sweetener widely used here in Colombia, and I think a lot of Latin America. It comes in thick blocks that are chipped at and use as sweeter for many of their drinks, specifically chocolate (the drink) and natural juice. We started by crushing the sugarcane using a machine, followed by a long cleaning process to purify the juice before it crystalizes into a sugar. The colombian family that owns the farm has been making Panela all their lives. The whole operation is run between 4 siblings; 3 brothers and 1 sister, all in their 70’s. The abuela welcomed us into her beautiful home and made us breakfast, and then lunch once it got late enough in the afternoon. I am so grateful to have been welcomed to this family’s farm and home with arms open wide. The love they put into this work, and the history behind it all makes it so special. For so many reasons this day was one I will never forget.

One of the last events that went on while we were gone (and yes, wow, a lot has really happened) was Festivo del Rio, festival of the river. We are not sure how the name is related to the celebrations, but what we do know is that this small town fills up with tons of Colombians from all over the country to come celebrate this festival at San Rafael. Restaurants were packed, the hostel we stayed at was fully booked, and the streets were crowded with happy people. On Friday night we watched part of the parade, where structures of mythical creatures ran the streets breathing fire and pure fun.

At the beginning of this post I wrote that times during this leg of the trip I was bored, yet I didn’t get to writing any of this post until the bus ride out of town. I didn’t realize how many special experiences we had until it was time to write about it. But thats exactly why I do this :)

And now that I am writing this while on the bus leaving San Rafael, it feels bitter sweet to leave. This town is so authentically Colombian. The only other English speakers we met were 3 others from our hostel, one Canadian, one American, and one Chinese who spoke English fluently. Saying goodbye was so sweet, as Laura told me that seeing my face is like getting a dose a diabetes. There’s a bit of a language barrier there.. but what she was saying is that I’m so sweet and she feels that every time she sees my face 😂. As for Leidy and Karen... well Leidy starting to cry. I told her “I miss you” in Spanish because I have no idea how to speak in future tense to say “I will miss you”. Karen, her 10 year old daughter who was my best friend on this leg of the trip, gave me hugs goodbye. I will miss practicing Spanish with her very much. She actually knows how to explain things to me better than the adults!

Anyway, I am so looking forward to Josh’s arrival! This is just the start of what I think will be a very fun month with friends (Sam and Victoria next week) and then my mom and cousin Maria in Cartagena! 

Thanks for reading fam, love you all.

[skinfeeler]

meandering diary post, or the melancholic tale of my 24-hour completely onesided romance in the context of the human condition

[[MORE]]

i've been a member of a student organisation for queer people for about half a year now. this means that i hadn't attended an introductory period yet — once an academic year, at the start of it — but that i knew basically everyone who organised it.

after a few days of miscellaneous activities that were mostly 'okay' (minus a drunk fall of my bike at some point) i knew a couple more people. still, it was nothing like the summer camp at the end of it.

the first 90% of the journey was by train. i shared four seats facing each other with three other people, including a girl who was slightly taller and a bit older than me. she had brought a wine bottle and so it happened that the four of us already started drinking at about 15, not even at the camp yet.

we got along though— especially this girl and i. we talked a bunch about the kinds of exercise/sports we like. she was my second round that day in explaining the rules of roller derby, i can do it in about 20 seconds now with the help of the images from the 'basics' section of this article: http://mtlrollerderby.com/the-rules-of-roller-derby/?lang=en w

e also talked about gender a bit. it went all right. we had a later conversation in our bunk that day where we really bonded, about trauma too and all that stuff.

"we have a bond, i think."

that was later though, for now i was still on my way. at some point i turned inwards as i sometimes do and during one of the transfers while outside she pulled me away and asked me if i was all right. i explained that i just have a few issues and that sometimes they played up. she gave me the big scarf she was wearing and told me to put it over my head and narrow my field of vision that way, just kind of hide in it. that that's what she does when she's not well. that was nice of her.

we missed the train-bus connection because we went to the supermarket of the small remote village to buy more wine, but we got picked up by a second bus a bit later.

once at the place i changed into a sexier outfit and instantly felt more confident. this was immediately crushed once people started making (completely benign) jokes about std tests. i started thinking about my own test and the rape that happened before it and just went sit somewhere with a beer bottle to be sad. one of the people who i knew was an organiser but didn't personally know asked me if i was all right and i stood up and tried to ask if we could go outside for a bit, but didn't manage to speak because i was already crying. fortunately he understood the cue. i told him about that i got triggered and he made sure to make it clear to me that the committee would do its best to look after me if i allowed him to tell that sometimes i get like this, with them not having to know what exactly. i took him up on the offer, and it helped that subsequently an organiser would occasionally come to me when i lost my vibe, which was quite often.

but in that moment just knowing people actually take it seriously was enough, and i told him that the best thing now would probably just be to rejoin the party and chug my beer, and so we returned inside and so i did.

a while later i lost a good portion of my energy again. in a fateful moment, i decided to go back to my room which i shared with others. my new friend was talking about speed with another girl, who ended up giving it to us.

"i'm done with this crap. you can have it if you want to."

i don't have the required associations to procure anything like this myself, so i thought i'd not pass up on the opportunity.

the four of us went back downstairs.

first i was cold, tired, and dull. now i possessed immense warmth, energy, and clarity, almost immediately.

i asked my friend if this is about what i should be feeling. she told me it was, but also immediately switched to her more caring tone and that i should be careful.

"if you ever want to try something, you can always do it at my place."

sounds like a fucked up bid to get me in a vulnerable situation, but given the context and her general conduct i am certain she really was just caring about me in a slightly dark way.

there were drinking games that we played in teams, in most of them chugging alcohol fast combined with skills of physical dexterity was determinant. in my current state, i was absurdly good at both on top of my usual degree of mastery and won us the tournament. it was nice to get cheered on lots— it was cool to be in a parallel dimension where suddenly the skills i had were brought up a number of times in the days after.

i had a great night. i hadn't been (that) happy in months. every moment my body was bursting with energy. i love dancing, and i especially love dancing when weird fellow mental cases who have taken it upon themselves for reasons i don't understand grasp both my hands, pull me in, and keep me very close to them. later we sat on a couch and i leaned against her and it was very nice. every time i asked her if she was uncomfortable she pet my head for a bit, so obviously i was instantly in love.

alcohol disables your mental safeguards and this can backfire. cigarettes just make you slow. speed simply solved every problem instantly.

we danced until 0400. after that we were offered a joint by someone and we passed that around in a circle so we could sleep better. it worked very well, but by the time we went to bed, it was simply almost time to get up, and they don't fuck around with schedule at student camps.

i woke up in agony because the day before i went on camp i had a really intense derby training, and when i dance, i really love to bring my hips into it. everything between my waist and knees was searing, burning, i had to stretch and massage until i took the edge off enough that i could convince myself that i wasn't injured. the night before i hadn't felt anything at all. obviously i was also more hungover than ever before, but like, whatever. because i value a varied diet and a rigorous exercise routine, i decided to take it easy from thereon, only start drinking in the evening, et cetera. i was already going to skip sunday training for this, and additionally there are a few resistance training goals that i want to meet in the near future.

these three felt otherwise. they would go on to drink all day. it was very difficult to talk to any of them, although they seemed to be having fun though. i was kind of bothered that i couldn't talk to this girl meaningfully at all anymore at some point, so during that day and the last day of camp i kind of stopped feeling something for her entirely, which was very odd, completely unlike how it usually goes for me.

we played some games, including a quiz. my team won the quiz, but not the other game.

that night most of my acquaintances were absent for the first part. the sweet autistic metalhead i met earlier had gone to her one-person bedroom to decompress, the three from the start were apparently on a walk that i couldn't safely participate in, the others were fuck knows where. i was in a really, really bad mood. i knew that speed would solve all my problems, allow me to join the dance party going on. instead i wasted away on a couch for a while.

then there was dinner, and then an awards show. two games won (the beer game counted) meant i was called in front twice and won a shot of hard liquor as a price, thus twice in a row. very convenient for my fealty to fitness, but at least nice.

afterwards, a number of friends were periodically back on the dance floor in shifts, and the shots were doing their job. the nice thing about shots is that they mean you don't constantly have to piss as with beer, so they made a nice base for the rest of my consumption that night.

i found my new favorite pop song dancing with the girl who i have a particular unbreakable fealty to— that resultant from me breaking down in her arms about a girl not liking me back earlier that year lol

that girl would eventually do some things to me that would present one of the main causes of me at times completely turning inwards and become unable to talk to people, simply looking on and knowing my humanity has been taken away from me by many people.

but right there, dancing, knowing i was surrounded by people who care about me even if i am nothing like then, i was doing just fine, despite having quietly had a mental breakdown on that couch where everything at once played up.

eventually the music selection turned to shit and i decided to do the smart thing and have six hours of sleep instead of two. some sweet angels made sure to coax me into drinking lots of water.

"you'll be grateful in the morning."

a decent night, minus the transmisogynist components of some sketch one of the members of the previous committee did. i'll talk to her about it soon and i'm confident she'll understand how it was hurtful— i had a drunk conversation with two other girls in the restroom about it and they were fully behind me and encouraged me to do this.

the next morning almost everyone was still drinking, despite the fact that most of the day we would just spend in a bus bringing us back from the middle of nowhere.

at some point i sat down on a couch and for the first time in days, took out my ear buds and listened to some music i like.

it was cathartic and i had a particular kind of realisation.

i had spent an entire alcohol getting fucked up to music i could only tolerate there and then, under bright lights and with accompanying alcohol. drinking the kind of alcohol i don't like drinking because it's what was available, hanging out mostly with people with whom i have very little in common. in general, kind of losing myself.

i knew what i needed to do, what i can do soon. all i need to do is get out of this house to a better place, get my painting station set up, keep being involved in the roller derby, and maybe somewhere along the lines i would figure stuff out for myself.

of course, there are certain social circumstances that need to happen to me too, but i certainly can't do that while inert.

i had skipped the derby's general member's meeting on friday. it was the only one of the year, and i really wanted to attend. they were discussing attendance policies, and i feel i could've really learned a lot about the members of the league from that. debates about derby as its own reward and assuming the inherent joy of cooperation versus a dedication to structured sustained development and competitivity, or any of the ways one could frame that.

i had missed a training, when i had immediate short-term goals that i could have fulfilled that training.

the other rookies like me, and so does the trainer. not because of my ability to chug alcohol really fast — although i intend to impress them at the party we apparently have soon — but because of my dedictation, fervor, and general attitude.

maybe there is a common source to the fact that i can dance better than i can talk and that i feel i'm more meaningfully together with people when i'm on wheels than when i'm not, generally speaking at least.

it feels like there's a rift between me and the rest of humanity, but a little less on the track than most other places.

but then speed also helps.

it helps everything. it makes me feel happy.

but i know i can't actually take this as often as i would need without fucking myself up. still, on our way back, alienated and exhausted, i was constantly craving it.

when we got out of the bus and a people hugged me goodbye, i did meditate for a bit on the fact that i did create many new bonds. maybe i'll get more out of them than i felt by the last day, but it's complicated.

and now i'm at friends who fed me and gave me weed to finally fucking calm down. it's all right.

i miss my friends in london who i feel separated from only by distance.

[stilloutofmyvulcanmind]

New Beginnings Part 1

Fandom: Love/Hate

Pairing: Darren Treacy x Female Reader

Characters: Darren Treacy, Reader

Word Count: 1625

Warning: Some swears, reference to past violence

Summary: It’s been years since the Incident. Years since you moved out of Dublin and started a new life. Years since you last saw your childhood best friend Darren Treacy. One day that all changes and the two of you find each other again. Darren claims he’s done with his old life, but will it really be that simple?

Author’s Note: Dropping this now to see if you guys like it and want more! The story takes place after Season 1, so those are the only events you need to know about. None of the other characters are in this part, but they might will definitely show up later, and bring canon-typical violence with them, so beware of that!

Reposting because Tumblr decided to block the other one from searches again!

It was raining again, but that wasn’t much of a surprise, you thought, closing your umbrella at the same time as you ducked through the doors of the old church. It had been grey and dreary all morning, the clouds looming low in the sky, threatening to unleash a downpour. You were just glad you had the sense to take your umbrella before running to catch your bus. The heavens had opened seconds after you’d stepped on, and it hadn’t let up yet. It suited though. It wasn’t like attending a support group for victims of violent crimes was a fun activity, and the weather matched the mood.

You’d been coming here for years now since you and your mother moved from Dublin after the Incident. It wasn’t entirely necessary now, but you liked the comfort of it, and on bad weeks it was good to have a place to go where you knew you could talk freely, surrounded by people who understood. It wasn’t an overly large group, and people often came and went, but there were a few regulars you knew well. You greeted them, as you hung up your coat, and set your umbrella to one side, chatting about how your weeks had been until it was time to find a seat and the group to start.

There was nothing you really needed to get off your chest, so you were content to stay quiet and offer your support to those who did. It was all going about the same as usual until nearly halfway through when the wooden doors creaked open loudly, interrupting everything. It was instinct, to turn with the others and see what, or who was causing the disturbance. Your jaw nearly hit the ground when you saw who it was that came slinking in, shoulders hunched high and whispering a quiet ‘sorry’.

Darren fucking Treacy.

You watched as he made his way to an empty seat at the invitation of your group leader in disbelief. You’d been teenagers the last time you saw him, and honestly, you thought he’d be dead by now. But here he was, in the flesh, trying not to draw attention to himself as the session resumed. He was behind you so it was impossible to keep an eye on him and try and get his attention without being too obvious. You weren’t even sure if he’d seen you. Doubtful.

Darren didn’t speak to the group, and despite your best efforts to get away from the others as quickly as was polite, he was already gone. Cursing under your breath, you dashed out back into the rain while you were still pulling on your coat, hoping to catch sight. You were in luck. Just down the road from you, Darren was walking quickly, hands stuffed in his leather jacket, head down to protect his eyes from the rain.

“Darren!” You called, taking chase after him. He didn’t stop. If anything he seemed to start walking faster. He should know you were more stubborn than that. You managed to catch up with him, grabbing his arm to stop him in his tracks. “Darren, what the hell are you doing here?”

“I didn’t know you’d be there, Y/N, I swear. I’d have stayed away if I did.” Darren didn’t even look you in the eye as he spoke, but at least he confirmed he knew who you were.

Still, it broke your heart. You hadn’t been allowed to see him after the Incident, in fact, he’d been purposely kept away, and you’d never even gotten a chance to speak with him, so it was understandable he’d think you still didn’t want him around. “I didn’t mean it like that,” you said, opening your umbrella above you both to stop you from getting too drenched. “I mean what are you doing out of Dublin? Work for…” you had to trail off, unable to speak the name.

That did make Darren look up at you. “No. I’m out, I’m done with all that,” he whispered. “That’s why I’m here. Fresh start and all that.”

It was a relief to hear. “That’s good. That’s really good,” you smiled. The rain was still pouring down, with no sign that it planned to stop soon. “There’s a pub around the corner, why don’t we get a drink?”

“Y/N I don’t…”

“Please?”

Darren returned your smile with an exasperated sigh and nodded. “Lead the way.”

Hooking your arm with his, you walked the short distance to the pub. Neither of you spoke, and you weren’t blind to the tension thick enough to cut through that existed between you both. It was natural after so many years and the circumstances of your departure. There needed to be a talk, but that could wait until you were somewhere dry and warm.

The pub was quiet inside, to be expected on a Wednesday afternoon, but you weren’t complaining. Immediately shushing Darren’s attempt to get the drinks in, you sent him to sit in a quiet corner while you got a beer each yourself. Sitting opposite him, you sipped your drinks in silence. Darren mostly staring down into his bottle, with only the occasional, furtive glance up, and you watching him. He looked older than he was, tired, sad. The years hadn’t been kind to either of you it seemed.

“I don’t blame you, you know. For what happened.”

Darren met your eyes for the first time since you’d seen him. “You should. I was there.”

“But I don’t. You were an idiot for getting involved with that lot, but I don’t blame you. You were a dumb teen just like I was. You didn’t plan it, did you?”

“No. No, I had nothing to do with any of that, I was just-”

“Following orders?”

Darren sighed, “Yeah.”

“Then there’s nothing to blame you for.” You reached across the table, settling your hand over Darren’s. “I’m sorry you thought I did, and for the way my Ma treated you when you came by.”

“She was protecting you. I’d’ve done the same.”

“I’m still sorry. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

“It’s done now. I only wanted you to be okay. Are you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good,” Darren smiled, turning his hand so he could squeeze yours. “I’m glad, I am.”

You returned the smile and the reassuring grip. “What about you? How the fuck are you here? I thought with that lot once you were in you didn’t get out again.”

“It’s complicated.”

“I got all day.”

Darren laughed softly, shaking his head at you. “It’s good to see you haven’t changed, it is.”

“Not planning to anytime soon either. Now spill.”

Darren told you everything. Catching you up with the years after the Incident, getting caught with a gun in the house, fleeing to Spain, returning to see Robbie out of prison, Robbie being murdered, and his hunt to find the culprit.  He told you about how his relationship with John Boy deteriorated once he discovered it was his half brother who’d killed Robbie. Then he told you about Rosie. The two had just started dating when you left, and it was nice to hear that he had someone to love him like he deserved to. He spoke of leaving her behind, then coming back to find that she’d moved on and was having a baby with another man. What happened to her, and how he sought revenge. And finally, about the retaliation. Getting shot and left for dead. At least that explained what he’d been doing at your support group.

“Fuck, Darren, I…I’m sorry. Jesus.”

“It’s done now. But…after all that I had to get away. I couldn’t stay anymore. And Mary moved to France with the girls, and I thought about following them, but I’m just gonna be a burden right now. I need to get my head sorted first, you know?”

“Yeah. I know. And I’m proud of you. You’re doing the right thing. Keep coming to group, it’ll help a lot, I promise.”

“I will.” Darren’s phone chimed just then, the other pulling it out and scowling at the screen. “I have to go. I need to cover a shift at work.”

“Okay. I should probably get going too, or Ma will start wonderin’ where I got to.” You got up with Darren and exited the pub, happy to see that it had stopped raining at last. You made sure to get his number, not willing to risk losing track of him again. “I’ll see you next week, yeah?”

“Course. It was good to see you, Y/N. Really good.” Darren stooped down to kiss your cheek, and you took the opportunity to wrap your arms around him in a hug. He responded in kind, both of you holding the other a little tighter than was necessary for a little longer than was necessary. After so many years it felt good to be hugging him again. You’d missed him. Maybe more than you let on.

“Text me, yeah? If you need a tour guide, or just for whatever,” you said as you pulled apart, somewhat reluctantly.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Bye.”

“Bye.” You watched Darren turn and leave, before starting to make your own way home. It wasn’t that late and the buses were running still, so you headed to the nearest stop, feeling a little lighter than you had that morning. Of all the things you’d expected to happen that day, seeing Darren again had been right at the bottom, but it had been the most unexpected surprise and one that you needed. Already you were looking forward to seeing him again.

Maybe things were finally looking up for the both of you.

(If you’d like to be tagged in future parts, let me know!)

[justanoutlawfic]

Where You Lead: Here Comes The Son Pt. I

Summary: Henry and Jacinda have dinner with their estranged son.

Based on a prompt by @queen-of-the-merry-men, surrounding Henry and Mat having a falling out that lasts a couple of years. This takes place when Mat is 27, Henry is 49.

Also on AO3

Quiet.

 That was still something that Henry was getting used to.

 After 22 years of having the triplets under their roof, with the addition of little Wren coming later on, he wondered if he ever would get a moment’s peace. If there’d ever be a time where the girls weren’t arguing over who’s sweater belonged to whom or reprimanding Mat for sneaking in late. There were no more sounds of Barney or the Magic School Bus, the only toys were for their grandchildren when they came by. Family dinners were held at Belle’s, so the only times things ever got loud were when they had the occasional one there.

 Still, though, he never regretted stopping at three. He loved his kids, but coming home to his sexy wife and having it just be them was pretty damn nice too.

 “Honey, I’m home,” he called out, jokingly.

Jacinda’s laugh boomed from the kitchen, poking around the corner. “Hey babe. How was work?”

“Good. We got everything together on time.”

“Do you ever not?”

“No, but you know me…”

“Wren Gold’s grandson?”

 Henry flashed her a sad smile, looking at the entry way wall. It had the last family picture they would ever take, that would actually be complete. His grandfather stood front and center, his hand firmly on his cane. His hair was grey, there were tons of wrinkles, but he also had his namesake and great-great-grandchild on his hip and was smiling. Neal and Henry stood on either side of him, wearing matching suits, fulfilling the eldest Gold man’s lifelong dream. The triplets were in the front, lined up in a row with Melody beside Lucy. Alba and Gideon were also side by side, Emma and Belle not far behind with Gideon’s husband, Roderick and Alba’s wife, Raven with their respective kids. Neal and Emma’s other kids took up the space on the bottom, showing just how much their family had grown over the years and that DNA truly didn’t mean a damn thing.

 None of them could’ve imagined that just a few short months later, Wren would be gone. To Henry, he was immortal. Some kind of never aging God that could withstand anything. Sure, he had become a grandfather young and a great-grandfather not much older and that might have had something to do with it, but he just seemed to be there for everything. He saw Henry graduate high school, then college. Then, Wren had done the same for his great-grandchildren, supporting whatever they had wanted to do. Henry knew realistically that he wouldn’t live to see Xiomara’s daughter grow up, but he lived in ignorant bliss.

 He made it to 90 years old, before they found out about his heart. There were treatments and no expense was spared, but ultimately, he was gone. Wren’s spirit left the world, leaving his family to mourn the heavy loss.

 Henry shook it off, walking closer to his wife. “What’s for dinner? Anyone stopping through?”

“No, it’s just us. I’m making empanadas,” Jacinda said, kissing him once he reached the kitchen. “Lucy called, she and Mel are going to drop Sebastian off here tomorrow. It’s their anniversary.”

“Sounds good to me, they haven’t been out since he was born.”

“Exactly. Xo texted, Wren’s so excited for her first day of school.”

Henry grinned; he couldn’t believe his granddaughter was old enough for school. “That’s great. She’s going to be so smart. She’s a Tremaine-Cassidy-Gold after all.” He started walking to the fridge, opening it to grab a water.

“Also…Mat called.”

He froze, his hand hovering over the water. “Huh?”

“He um…said he has some news.”

“Oh.” Henry’s hand floated from the water over to the beer, grabbing one. “Wonder what it could be.” He cracked open the beer and took a long swig.

Jacinda sighed. “I don’t know, Henry, but he’s reaching out. That’s good, right?”

“Right, right. I’m glad he knows what a phone is.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Henry. Don’t. You are just as much at fault for what’s going on between you two.”

“Me?!? I’m not the one who…” He trailed off when he saw the look on his wife’s face, sighing. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to take this out on you. I know all of this has been hard on you and Mat’s relationship.”

Jacinda took a few steps forward, putting her hands on his hips. “This could be the start of something,” she whispered. “Maybe it’s an olive branch. Maybe you two can finally talk it out.”

“Maybe,” Henry mumbled. He would be lying if he said he didn’t miss his son. God, he missed him. More than anything he wished Wren was still around so he could talk to his grandfather about what he went through those first 10 years of his life when Neal barely spoke to him. “When are we seeing him?”

“He wants to take us out to eat, Hugo’s.”

Henry gave a weird look. “Of course…willing to drop money…”

“Henry!”

“I’m going to be nice! I promise!”

“Good.” Jacinda turned back to her cooking. “Because this is a good thing.”

“A good thing,” Henry echoed, his eyes traveling to the fridge. Like the walls in their house, it was a shrine to their family. There was a picture of him and Mat, on his son’s prom night. He had helped him get ready, just as Neal had with him. They had so much fun, laughing and talking about his plans for the night. They once had such a great relationship. Things had gone wrong so long before “the incident” and he didn’t understand how.

***

Hugo’s was a place that Wren and Belle probably would’ve dragged them to once upon a time. High prices, tiny portions and a dress code. Men wore jackets, women were encouraged to be in skirts. A man played classical piano, the same tune throughout the night. It was the exact scene that one would expect from a Yale graduate. Yet, Henry had spent most of his time in places like Granny’s, in his jeans no less. Now, he was wearing a suit and tie, while Jacinda wore a nice dress, her hair curled.

 “Mom, Dad!”

 They turned to find Mat headed their way, a smile on his face that didn’t quite reach the eyes. Henry had noticed that a lot the older his son got. He wore a suit-probably designer-and had his dark hair slicked down. At one point, he had curls that he inherited from both sides of his family, but he hardly let those show. When he leaned in to kiss Jacinda’s cheek, Henry could smell his overpowering cologne.

 “Hey baby,” Jacinda said, her voice light and happy. “You look great.”

“Me? Look at you! Smoking, Mom, truly.” He chuckled before turning to smack five with his dad. “Dad.”

Henry couldn’t believe Mat was acting as if nothing had happened, and yet, that seemed exactly like him. “Matias. It’s good to see you.”

“You too. Come sit. I’ve got the best seat in the house.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

 Mat and the hostess lead them over to a table by the window, a tad more private than the hustle and bustle of the busy middle. Henry watched as his son smiled and nodded to some people on the way to the table, clearly colleagues and partners.

 Taking after his father and grandfather, Mat had gone to an Ivy League school-though he had opted for Stanford. Getting a scholarship and other aid, he had pulled off a miracle by barely needing to borrow any money from his great-grandfather. While there, he had helped develop an app with some friends. It didn’t go very far, but with that experience, he was able to get a great job at a software development company in Manhattan.

 “So, how’s Tiffany?” Henry asked, settling down to look at the menu. He had to do his best to not bulge his eyes at the prices. Wren Gold was his grandfather, but he had been raised on McDonalds and Kraft mac & cheese.

Mat’s brows furrowed. “Broke up years ago, Dad.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that. She was nice.” The truth was, Henry had met her probably twice before Wren died. She was a skinny red head, who wore a diamond necklace to Granny’s and worried about getting mugged in front of Old Man Twickam’s house.

“Right…”

Jacinda cleared her throat, keeping a smile on her face. “So, Matty, how’s business?”

“It’s going great. We’ve been developing a new software for a medical company these past few months, so it’s taken up most of my time,” Mat explained, that not-smile returning. “And you? Xo told me that you expanded the daycare.”

 Henry listened to the two of them talk about Jacinda’s new business, but only half-heartedly. Eventually the waitress came over, and Mat took over the ordering. Henry barely recognized the son in front of him. Growing up, Mat had been shy, a bit of a recluse. In fact, he reminded Henry a lot of himself. Lucy and Xiomara were very active, taking stands for what they believed in. Mat ended up making a core group of friends in high school, but this charming, charismatic, flirt had emerged from college.

 “Now that we have that out of the way,” Mat said once the waitress walked off. “Let’s get to my news.”

“Yes, your mother said it was quite big.”

Mat nodded. For once, the smile slipped and he looked a bit serious. “I know I haven’t exactly been the world’s best uncle.”

“You were in college when Wren was born,” Jacinda assured him. “And Sebastian just came along. There’s time.”

“Well, I want to do more, be there.”

Henry tilted his head. “Are you moving back to Stars Hollow?”

“Oh no. However, I have been talking to Nana Belle a lot lately. She’s doing well, but with the twins out of the house, married and all, Pop-Pop’s place is just getting to be too big for her.”

 Henry and Jacinda nodded. Belle had mentioned that at one of the last family dinners. She had been looking into purchasing their vacation home on the Cape full time, but wasn’t sure what to do with the house. It had been Wren’s first step away from Malcolm. Emma and Neal didn’t need it much either, even the kids they had adopted were grown and they only took in emergency placements, focusing on the inn now that Granny had passed. The rest of the family either had no use for it or couldn’t afford it.

 “She wants to keep the house in the family, so she’s offered to sell it to me.”

Jacinda’s grin only widened. “Well, I think that’s great.”

Henry frowned. “But what about your job?”

“I can commute to the city. It’s only an hour, by car or train.”

“It’s far too big for you by yourself.”

“Well, hopefully one day I’ll be able to fill it with kids like Pop-Pop and Nana Belle did.”

 Henry didn’t say anything further, he just sipped on his water. He could feel the anger inside of him building. Deep down, he knew that he should be happy that the house was staying in the family, but of all the people for it to go to…

 He didn’t say much else as the night went on. Instead, Henry focused on his tiny portions, disgusting wine and half-listened to Jacinda’s questions about the move, him selling his loft on the Upper East Side and more. As he sat there, he realized that he had so much anger to his son, a boy that once lit up his heart and made him smile like no one else could. Now, he was just so disappointed and no matter how hard he tried…he just couldn’t shake it.

 Eventually, the dinner came to an end. Henry was irritated, tired, buzzed and still hungry. Mat paid the check and kissed his mom’s cheek, before patting his dad on the back. He said he’d be in touch, but in the meantime, he had to get back into the city due to an “early morning”. Jacinda handed Henry the valet tag, asking him to grab the car while she went to the bathroom.

 Henry made his way outside, handing the tag to the employee. As he stood there waiting, he noticed Mat was there as well, fiddling with a cigarette.

 “They always take forever,” he mumbled when he saw his father. “Great food, shit valet.”

“Surprise you grace them with your presence,” Henry muttered.

Mat chuckled, taking a drag. “Ya know, most fathers would be glad that their sons would be moving closer, but you?” He shook his head. “Only you would be upset.”

“I’m not upset, Mat.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not.” He turned to his son. “I just don’t get why you’re interested in the house of the man that you couldn’t bother to come to the funeral for.”

Mat’s lips drew a firm line. “I thought we could get past this.”

“How?” Henry felt his body trembling. “Do you know what Grandpa meant to me? He put me through school, both prep and college. Without him, I probably wouldn’t have met your mother, you kids wouldn’t even be here.”

“I’ve heard the stories, Dad.”

Henry continued as if he hadn’t heard him. “I went to him for advice for so much. He was there for me, but most importantly, for all of you kids. He and Belle took you and your sisters on vacations, sleepovers, all of that. He loved you so damn much…and what do you do? You skip his funeral to attend a business trip in Tokyo.”

Mat bit his lip. “Dad…”

“But hey, don’t worry. At least we got fucking flowers, huh?”

 Mat exhaled, letting out some of the smoke he had just let in. He stared forward for a few minutes, the only sounds being the ambient noises of the restaurant behind them and the cicadas chirping in the warm, Connecticut summer air.

 “We’re doing this, huh?” Mat asked, and Henry realized he was talking to himself. “I guess we are.” He dropped the cigarette and fully faced his dad. “I talked to Pop-Pop ever day leading up to his death, ever since he got sick. I called him every single day, if I couldn’t see him in person that was.”

Henry folded his arms over his chest. “Okay?”

“You said he paid for your school, but you know he paid for mine too right? What I couldn’t. He also was the one person I could go to, for anything. He was my outlet, for my entire life.”

Henry felt his face fall and his muscles loosen. “What…what are you talking about?”

“Dad…did you ever stop to consider that I never told you what I wanted to be when I grow up?”

He paused for a moment. “When you were 5…you said you wanted to be a fireman.”

“I mean, seriously. As a teenager, you could tell that Xiomara wanted to be a lawyer, and that Lucy wanted to go into photography. But did you even know that I was interested in tech?”

“You never told me.”

“Did you ever ask?”

Henry fumbled over himself. “Well…I…” He trailed off. “We talked, about a lot of stuff.”

“I’m not denying that we did. You’d ask how my day was, but beyond “Good”, how much did you really hear?”

 Henry’s mouth dropped open. No, this wasn’t true. He knew his kids; he knew all of them. They all had a great relationship with one another, or at least they had before his son became a total snob obsessed with himself.

 “This is ridiculous. We had a good relationship, Mat. Up until you went to college, we were close. Then you got on this high horse and it was hard to get you down.”

Mat scoffed. “Right, of course that’s how you see it.”

 A black Cadillac, resembling his grandfather’s way too much, pulled up and the valet stepped out. Mat handed the guy some cash and walked over to the door, looking up at his dad.

“It was good seeing you, Dad. Say hi to Xiomara and Lucy for me.”

 He got into the car and drove away. Henry stood in the dust, feeling a mix of anger, confusion and mostly hurt.