#On the other hand.. mmo...
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
machikoasu · 2 years ago
Text
Hmm... To spend $30+ on a dinosaur game or not..
0 notes
metalandmagi · 1 year ago
Text
Romance Anime Starter List
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sick and tired of seeing “Top ___ Best Anime of All Time” lists that are nothing but shounen. So, with "My Happy Marriage" getting a little attention from the anime community, I wanted to put together a list of some romance anime that I consider good “starters” for the genre. Because if I were just now becoming an anime fan, I’d think all there was to offer was shounen action series.
And by “starters” I mean basic stuff that’s not too…out there, and actually involves the characters getting together instead of just harems or using romance as a side plot (sorry Ouran High School Host Club and My Next Life as a Villainess). 
So if you’re new to anime and want stuff that’s not just guys beating the shit out of each other (which is also fun, don’t get me wrong), here are some basics.
Taisho Maiden Fairy Tale- When the pessimistic Tamahiko Shima loses all function in his right arm, his family sends him away to live in the mountains with the cheerful, hard working Yuzuki Tachibana…who was purchased by the Shima family to pay off her family’s debts and basically act as a caretaker/future bride for Tamahiko so they’d never have to deal with him again. It’s a more cheerful version of My Happy Marriage (without the supernatural stuff), except in this one, the guy is the one who has massive self-esteem issues and an abusive family. There are still very serious themes, but ultimately it’s not meant to make you cry every episode. I swear it’s so good, but nobody watched it!
Tumblr media
Horimiya- A slice of life in which pretty and popular high school queen bee Hori, finds out her quiet, unassuming classmate Miyamura is hiding piercings and tattoos that could get him expelled. The two gradually find out more about each other and get together in the most realistic way I’ve seen depicted in an anime. It’s also fucking hysterical and genuinely emotional.
Tumblr media
Recovery of an MMO Junkie- Another slice of life that focuses on two adults who meet in an MMO game without realizing they also know each other in real life. I don’t want to say much more than that. It’s adorable, and the main character is so relatable it hurts.
Tumblr media
Love with Yamada-kun at Level 999- Speaking of MMOs, this is a newer series about Akane Kinoshita, a college first year who’s reeling from a bad break up. In an attempt to get back at her ex, she winds up meeting Akito Yamada, a popular gamer who happens to be in her guild in the MMO they both play at an IRL meetup. The two go from acquaintances to something more as they keep running into each other. Even more relatable main characters and just wholesome relationships all around.
Tumblr media
Snow White With The Red Hair- A fantasy in which an apothecary named Shirayuki (meaning, you guessed it, “snow white”) runs away from her home in order to escape becoming the concubine of her town’s prince. While fleeing, she is rescued by Zen, the prince of a neighboring country, and she ends up becoming an herbalist to repay him. It's super cute with some genuinely swoon worthy moments and a couple that just works so well together. I have a habit of comparing this to Akatsuki no Yona, even though the two aren’t really that alike. This is more romance driven while Akatsuki no Yona is more of a serious historical fantasy with romance elements (Yona manga is amazing, but the anime barely scratches the surface, so that’s why I didn’t include it).
Tumblr media
Sasaki to Miyano- When the shy, easily flustered Miyano meets Sasaki, a cool “delinquent” upperclassmen, the two end up bonding over manga…specifically BL manga. That’s right, Miyano is a fudanshi, but due to his small stature and somewhat feminine appearance, he’s constantly trying to convince others that he’s not interested in having his own love story where he’d be reduced to a stereotypical doe-eyed uke. But as Sasaki and Miyano spend more time together, they realize that what they have is more than friendship, and they have to come to terms with their own perception of gay relationships. This is my favorite romance of all time. It’s a slow burn, but boy is it worth it. Their relationship is so natural and realistic, just like Horimiya. Just two people hanging out and bonding over things the way people do in real life!
Tumblr media
Given: The story of some boys in a band with trauma. Enough said. It's great. Go watch it.
Tumblr media
Bloom Into You- Yuu Koito is a high school girl who’s been waiting her whole life for her own perfect romance to start…but when she receives a confession, she realizes she doesn’t know how to respond when she’s just not into the guy. And then she gets another confession…this time from the cool student council president Touko Nanami, who basically jumpstarts her lesbian awakening. Very cute story about how we perceive the concept of love vs actually feeling it. Also has a canonically aro/ace side character, so that’s a win for me. Another show like this is Adachi to Shimamura (but I honestly don’t remember much about it. It just didn’t stick with me as much).
Tumblr media
Ore Monogatari- Takeo Gouda is a tall, bulky high school first year with a sensitive heart of gold. He wants nothing more than to find his own true love, but most girls are intimidated by his enormous stature, and they end up falling for his conventionally attractive friend instead. That is, until he meets the tiny, adorable Rinko Yamato. He falls in love instantly, but he’s sure she’s interested in his best friend like everyone else, so he vows to help get them together, even though his heart is breaking. Peak himbo behavior. Pure of heart, dumb of ass.
Tumblr media
Yuri on Ice- Yes it’s the gay figure skating anime everyone knows. And yes it’s a fucking romance, okay? I will die on this hill. The romance between Viktor and Yuri is just as important as the plot!
Tumblr media
Kaguya-sama Love Is War- Two insanely smart high school students both have a crush on the other, but since they’re…you know…high schoolers, neither of them wants to admit it first. So they come up with increasingly convoluted plans to get the other to confess first. This will go down as one of the best of all time. It’s a hilarious yet poignant modern classic.
Tumblr media
Fruits Basket- I’ve talked about it before and I’ll talk about it again. A romance “comedy” that slowly morphs into a drama about a girl named Tohru who finds herself living with the mysterious Sohma family after her mother dies. Little does she know, the Sohmas are the victims of a  (somewhat silly, but ultimately tragic) curse that she must fight to break. Even though I’m more into it for the family drama, the romance is still top tier and plays an important role in the story. This is my second favorite anime of all time, and it’s a classic for a reason. If anyone hasn’t watched it yet, GO WATCH IT! IT WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS!
Tumblr media
Blue Box- A sports romance about an aspiring badminton player named Taiki Inomata who has a massive crush on the girls basketball team's star player Chinatsu Kano. Through a twist of fate, the two end up living together and having to hide it from the rest of their classmates, all while Taiki tries to work up the courage to ask Chinatsu out. It's so sweet and wholesome, and it's a great blend of sports anime and romance that can appeal to anyone who is more hesitant to get into the romance genre. The animation is also so freaking gorgeous!!!!
Tumblr media
365 Days To The Wedding- A workplace romance between the two most awkward people you could possibly imagine! The story takes place at a travel company that is about to open a new branch in Alaska, but because our two main characters are...like I said...very awkward, they come up with a plan to avoid being sent to work at the new branch...by telling their boss they're getting married. Because they wouldn't want to split up a married couple by making one move away, right? As ridiculous as the premise sounds, hilarious shenanigans ensue, but there's also a surprising amount of serious discussions about romance and marriage. The main characters also have major autism coding, so if you're looking for a neurodivergent romance, this is it. (There's also an episode that involves a princess wanting to give up the throne to pursue a life with her girlfriend!)
Tumblr media
And now for some honorable mentions that didn't quite fit into the regular list:
Ride Your Wave- A movie about a surfer who falls in love with a firefighter……and I’m not going to say any more than that. Go into it blind. If you like stuff like Your Name, this is a good one to watch.
Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun- A comedy about a high school girl who finds out the upperclassman she has a crush on is actually a shoujo manga artist, and no matter how she tries to confess to him, he just never gets it.
Tumblr media
The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague- A slow burn slice of life that focuses on a guy with ice powers who has a crush on his coworker. That’s it. That’s the show. When I say slow, I mean SLOW. It’s perfectly cute and fluffy, but my god does it take forever to get anywhere with these two.
Skip to Loafer- A high strung, small town girl decides to go to high school in Tokyo, where she meets a variety of classmates, including the laid back Sousuke Shima. The unlikely pair become friends, and soon enough, she starts to feel something more than friendship. The only reason I didn’t include it in the main list is because they don’t get together by the end of the first season, but it’s still really cute (also canonically trans character for the win!?)
Tumblr media
So that’s my starter list. And no, I didn’t include Toradora, even though it’s a classic. I know it’s blasphemous, but I like it more as a comedy than a romance. It kinda lost me with the ending. But anyway, maybe someone will find something they like. Or maybe you'll just want to roast me and my picks 😅
4K notes · View notes
the-wizard-of-magicland · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
BABE
76 notes · View notes
sqlmn · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ANYWAY I'm sorry that my alpha/omega post on main made me realize there's much worse things I've personally said. Like that one time I just said "oh do you know what vore is" to a manager at work and received the most visceral whiplash I have ever gotten from a guy. And then there was this third guy who was talking to the manager and had no idea what it meant and thankfully I don't think he cared enough to remember the word after the manager and I very openly expressed our disappointment in each other for knowing it.
We genuinely had a moment of the pointing Spiderman meme after I asked it because he was so appalled that I knew the word while /I/ felt vindicated since HE KNEW IT TOO???? then we just resigned our disappointment to being more chill.
25 notes · View notes
tovaicas · 4 months ago
Text
my real favourite character is Nidhogg, I’m only obsessed with Estinien bc he’s a hangers-on /jokes
#saint.txt#spoilers#major spoilers#no but for real dravanian lore is SO horrific if you actually look into it#and the depths Nidhogg dove to in his crusade and the level of harm he inflicted on his own children in service to it#in a lot of ways makes him worse than the Vault.#Nidhogg dies agonizingly without any real closure and scared of the end bc he has nothing left to go on for.#he *has* to die because nobody can move on for as long as he lives and that’s a huge tragedy. despite everything he’s still a member#of a dwindling First Brood (half of which have died and were tortured at the hands of men). he’s still a father. a son. an uncle. a brother#his fanily still loves him even as they have to raise the blade over his neck. either him or Ishgard dies.#he isn’t a villain just evil for the sake of it he has real motives and one of the deepest wells of love out of any character in the game.#and killing him doesn’t even really fix anything. all of Ishgard’s problems are still there bc Nidhogg was not the cause.#sure it gives Ishgard a space to start fixing those problems but…that’s not really saying much.#idk most MMOs pretty blindly just say you killed the big bad!! everything’s cool now!! and it’s really poignant that HW didn’t#you killed a grieving brother who was never able to move on. he found no closure in death. and in the process you made a lot of things#in Ishgard exponentially worse than they already were. his death isn’t a victory.#it’s a long and awful and drawn out tragedy of a man who shouldn’t have had to die.#he did a lot of awful things. but he was still family to a lot of people.#and he was a good person once. lots of his friends and family remember who he was before the grief tore him apart.#and you can’t write Nidhogg or Estinien without considering the other bc they’re the same person in almost every way.#enjoy my propoganda Nidhogg will be your favourite character too if I have anything to say abt it
5 notes · View notes
astral-schools · 1 year ago
Text
say whatever u want about the technical problems in wiz. it is one of the only games (w/ movement) ive seen that allows you to play almost exclusively one-handed. and the fact that thats been a feature for a WHILE is pretty impressive
5 notes · View notes
herald-of-aurene · 2 years ago
Text
i am So anxious
3 notes · View notes
femvaylin · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
I've had so little time to play lately it's taken me so long to get to this point but I'm HERE and I'm LOOOOOOOOSING it I'm just so happy rn I'm
1 note · View note
bonjourxrenae · 7 months ago
Text
thinking about the .hack//ygo AU.... ooouugghhhh
1 note · View note
microwaving-tesilid-argente · 9 months ago
Text
most important detail ive learned from rereading is that hestio's specific skillset is singing sacred hymms and casting curses on enemies
BANGING POTS AND PANS, HESTIO CAN SING !!!!!!
#hestio ligenel#I WANT TO HEAR.....!!! AILETTE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CAN YOU SPARE ME A DESCRIPTION 😫😫 PLEASE THROW ME A BONE!!!#reading the mirror dungeon in pain bc ailette POV literally ONLY talks about tesilid#she is NOT paying attention to these two at all lmao (crumpled on the ground)#anyway the thin description of hestio in this battle is absolutely hilarious#he's just standing at the back w the non-combatant#there is only one (1) throwaway line abt how he's doing important work too by cursing the mob enemies#i wonder how their training normally goes#what do you think hestio's hand to hand combat is like#obviously worse than the rest but the way he treats himself in battle is honestly so funny#hes always loudly and proactively pushing other people in front of him and placing himself safe at the back#love that for you king. look after yourself.#no wonder he has so much to say about tesilid's self preservation instincts#but also back to hestio singing. do you think he's any good#do you think he was shit at it in the past but trained himself so he wouldnt embarassed himself while on the job#ephael and tesilid listening to his tone deaf screeching#or were the buffers chosen from the start based on their ability to sing or smthing#also idk shit abt mmos so idk how long a buffer is supposed to sing#just one line?? the whole battle???#hestio holding a concert mid fight?? how does it work PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW#hestio in toy mansion arc was clearly NOT just standing around at the back ???????
0 notes
syrinq · 1 year ago
Text
1. boring af especially if realistic shading's also used instead of cinematic crap
2. can get in the way of gameplay (animations in RDR2 were impressive as fuck but god awful clunky and/or slow when mixed with mechanics)
3. realism graphics preferred heavily in triple A instead of stylised, is the same notion that popular movie crap/other media must be realistic (with realistic cgi) as well, because of "AnIMatIOn Is fOr KiDs" idiocy
4. gets dated as tech improves but it's the least concern here compared to other points
5. realistic graphics + fantasy shit still looks about the fucking same across games, especially if creative design isn't really part of it. going realistic can put a limit on creative possibilities (i will not be talking about the gazillion zombie apocalypse games in triple a or cod wannabes)
6. oughhh i love adding 50 million more gigabytes to me computer besides the decreasing performance optimisation
7. for some reason the most annoying post-processing/hud crap i've come across is either in realistic triple a shit or the most stylised games ever. yeah fuck the chromatic aberration, fuck 3d/skewed huds, fuck bloom, fuck noise filters, etc. etc. thank god mods exist to rid of the annoying ass fallout hud colours or whatever atrocities they pulled for cyberpunk 2077. gutturally awful visuals to deal with outside a mere glance for aesthetics
i should ask, before i start longposting about it, what do people not like about realism as as style, especially for video game graphics?
173 notes · View notes
sjofn-lofnsdottr · 5 months ago
Text
Something I find funny today:
I idled in Radz-at-Han a lot, over the course of Endwalker's life. I liked the day and night themes, and I loved how lively the city felt, with people arriving at the aetheryte and running off to whatever business they had there. It felt natural to go there, hit up the endgame gear vendors, then hang out by the retainer bell in the aetheryte plaza, people watching. And if I needed the market board, I would port back to Dusk's house, rather than go to Sharlayan, a place I just do not vibe with.
I HATE going to Solution 9. I dart in, spend my tomestones/books/whatever and then L E A V E. I hate how sterile the city is, I hate the droning lo-fi theme, I hate the immobile crowd of crafters all facing away from each other as they mindlessly grind their scrips (even as I understand it, I promise <3). I hate all the NPCs still wearing those goddamn regulators. I can't stop thinking about how awful I found the place during the MSQ, how the only place that felt alive to me in the entire place is the seedy area where the raids are. It's dystopian as fuck to me.
And when I need a marketboard ... half the time I port to Tuliyollal. Because that place is alive, it has day and night themes, the mass of crafters there get up and move more than once in a blue moon because they're mostly still leveling, so are running off to hand in leves or get their new class quest or what have you, while other people run by to whatever business they have there.
And I love that, I love that Solution 9 gets such a visceral reaction out of me, this long after I first arrived there. If it's supposed to feel Wrong - and I have every reason to believe it is, of course - they did a fantastic job of making it Wrong and keeping it Wrong, even with people doing their little MMO endgame tasks in it. And I love that Tuliyollal is such a stark contrast to it, long after the MSQ stops pointing it out to us.
488 notes · View notes
lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 10 months ago
Note
Yo if the requests are closes ignore this!
Can you do the Housewardens with a fem!Mc wth the powers and personality from Denji from Chainsaw Man? (Like the other one you did)
Please and thank you! <3
I love your writing
Thank you so much! I'll do a few! 🖤🖤🖤🖤
Tumblr media
Chainsaw Reader (2) | Yandere Twisted Wonderland
Tumblr media
Leona Kingscholar
“I want to touch it so bad!” 
“You should stop saying suspicious things so loudly.”
“Why not! Why should I hide that I looove touching your body parts?”
“Just say tail. Please.”
He finds your idiotic and loud personality to be problematic
He’s used to leading muscle-heads in his dorms that are motivated by pride, ego, or even personal gain
But only you 
only you would ask to put your hand down his pants for compensation
He doesn’t mind 
He just wishes you’d be a tad bit quieter
It also doesn’t help that you’re able to turn into a chainsaw demon
Which is fine, if it didn’t make taming you any easier
But once he’s got the hang of it your time, your attention, and one day your heart belongs to him
“Oi (Y/n), You’re chainsaw form is pretty scary right?”
“Yeah why?”
“Just want to see…will those herbivores be so happy to kiss up to you if you showed them the real you?”
“I dunno.”
“Let’s find out then.”
“What makes you think I’m going to do that?”
“I’ll let you motorboat my pecks.”
“Done.”
He loves when you get rid of the herbivores for him
And puts you on his level of a true predator
Too bad your motivation is just so flimsy
“It’s fine I’ll make it work long enough until they can’t leave.”
Tumblr media
Idia Shroud
“Aaaaagghhgh!!! Your like a customizable MMO RPG skin!”
“Gee thanks you - - have skin too?”
“Thanks?”
Is torn between being horrified and beyond enamored
Move aside vampire/werewolf love stories he’s in love with a chainsaw!
When he gets past his initial fear
He dives right into studying
Checking your arms for the scars from your regenerative ability
Or bashedly admiring the drawstring on your chest
“Oh wow….you’re so–your chest is just–”
“Cool? “
“AHEM! Uh yes…the width is very uhm nice!”
He’s also amazed at how little it takes to get your attention
But realizing it he can’t fall behind the others who so easily prop their bodies up as compensation
It does help that he monitors his rivals online activity but still
He’ll beat them
“Sorry Ortho this mission is rated M for mature and this solo mission is going to decide whether I win the chainsaw’s heart!” 
“Yay! Good luck brother!”
“Thank you! Now where is that maid outfit?”
417 notes · View notes
maybeelse · 4 months ago
Text
Supermarket Stillness
There's a mildly embarrassing shelf tucked away in the back of the supermarket, past the jars of pickled spells and the bottles of five-hour-Stillness. It's part of the store you've always been dimly aware of, but why would you ever need to buy some freeze-dried Purpose?
Well, today you have a reason.
You don't linger in front of it, just grab the first vacuum-sealed bag that looks right and try not to meet the cashier's eye as their hands blur through scanning it and all your other groceries.
You're sure they've seen far worse. It still sucks.
---
Back at home, your house-guest's wings twitch as she stares at the proffered bag.
"Seriously?"
"I just, I thought ... you said you needed some?"
"Yeah, but not this shit. I've tried it before, it's barely better than an MMO." She pauses for a moment, eyes you. "Or methadone."
"... oh."
"Like, I appreciate the thought," she continues as her broken halo sways above her head, "it just wouldn't help me at all. I'm sure it would blow you away, you've never even tried it, have you?"
You shake your head. "No, uh, everyone always said not to."
"Ha! They were probably right. Little thing like you's better off not fucking with that part of of the world."
"... yeah."
After that the conversation trails off into the usual day-to-day space-filling, words that hardly matter and mean less; a pantomime of connection.
You tuck the little vacuum sealed bag in the back of a cupboard (it cost too much to throw away, no matter how useless it is!) and try to forget about it.
---
Time passes, as time is wont to do.
Your house-guest leaves a few weeks later.
It's nothing to do with you, she explains. She's grateful that you were able to give her a place to stay, she's never liked having to rough it with the feral angels. But no matter those fleeting moments stolen in the depths of night, she needs something more than you can give.
She mentions that she's going across the city to live in one of the witch-houses, a place where she thinks she'll find what she needs. You wish her well, of course you do, and then ...
Your little apartment is empty again.
She stops replying to your texts after a few weeks.
That's how it goes, isn't it? There's hardly anything something like you can offer to someone like her. You're just a freeze-dried, mass-produced substitute discarded as soon as something better comes along; a worthless thing sinking deeper into depression's spiral.
A month later you're using a sudden upswing to clean out all the junk that's accumulated in your cupboards—all the almost-empty boxes, the dented cans and expired jars; the detritus of your dreams of Doing Things In The Kitchen—when you stumble across the bag of Purpose again.
It really doesn't look appetizing at all, even with the bright words and little cartoon halo on its label. Really, what were you thinking trying to offer it to a proper angel?
You really should just throw it away, but ...
You pause right before tossing it into the can.
Because, really, it would be a shame to just waste so much money on something you never try, wouldn't it? It would be a Waste, and that's so very close to a sin.
Just one taste couldn't hurt, just the tiniest morsel. Just to know what you've been missing out on. It'll be fine.
118 notes · View notes
zylphiacrowley · 12 days ago
Text
Then v Now
Tagged by @sailor-artemis @gatheredfates and @disaster-husbun Thank you friends~! ♥
I will tag uhhhhh..... @golmorehotgirl @lilas @this-is-ris @e-nishka-aosh and @stalwart-spirit
Tumblr media
^ 12/2020 (apparently?) || 12/2024 v
Tumblr media
So uhhhhh... storytime I guess.
A long time ago (I think this would've been when StB or maybe even HW was current) I bought a prebuilt "gaming" PC (mistake). To test it's capabilities I decided I would run the benchmark for whatever expansion was current at that time (don't ask me why this was my first train of thought, I don't claim to know the inner workings of my own mind)... it failed. Like miserably. Like if the bench could audibly laugh at me I think it would've. No matter, I hate MMOs and didn't plan to play it anyway, I just wanted to test it. I went on my merry way with my shitass "gaming" PC (that didn't last long anyway because it really was just a glorified paperweight).
Several years (and a new custom built PC) later, I was scrolling tumblr, as you do, and I kept seeing this red haired catboy and I was like "I don't know who this catboy is, but I wish only the best for him" then I found out that he was from XIV and that XIV had a "Free trial up to level 60 including the award winning expansion, Heavensward", so I was like, "Eh, I should try out the benchmark again see if I can run it. Also I enjoy a good character creator so I'll make a character give it a go and probably stop once I finish all the free content." Oh..... oh you sweet summer child... Anyway because I was not seriously considering playing this game for the long run, I was like "heehee I make an old catman because old man protag is unusual for SE game so is a bit sillay." I ran him all the way through ARR with people calling him "lad" and "boy" before I decided I couldn't stand it anymore and I spent my free fantasia to shoot him with the lazerbeam of youth. Woe, youth be upon ye catboy.
Now, did I need a friend to pretty much hold my hand all through ARR and HW because I was literally shaking with anxiety every time I queued for literally any content in the game? ...................I mean, yeah (thank you for being patient with me Lambs, as I made you run a bby sprout through probably mind-numbingly boring content for you at the time). But look at me now! I can queue as a DPS without crying the whole time I'm sitting in queue! Progress babeeeeeeeee!
It wasn't until this year (or late last year, I forget) that I actually got up the courage to start posting more stuff about my catboy (and my ship... especially my ship I still get sort of self-conscious about posting ship stuff but I enjoy it so I keep doing it anyway) and through doing so I've met soooooooo many wonderful friends in the community! I love seeing and learning about other people's WoLs, OCs, and ships, so I have been thriving getting to know everyone!
It has been an honor getting to share fandom space with so many fantastic people! I hope in 2025 I get to know even more about everyone's characters, and maybe even meet new people!
45 notes · View notes
kremlin · 11 months ago
Text
i figure most human behaviour that, not only doesn’t occur in other animals but has zero connection to animal behavior is basically distantly rooted in the known fear of inevitable death. let me be clear. cats and shit don’t know they’re gonna die. we do. we have thoughts. we know it’s coming. we think we’re gonna be rich, bullshit like that, most humans believe in magic and most humans doubt that math is a universal or consistent thing. total nonsense right. but everyone knows their ass is gonna die. before you write me off as some dumbass reciting basic 101 level university lectures just Trust Me I’m An Engineer. anyways. being human and dying are somewhat one in the same.
“if i do nonhuman things i can cheat the reaper.” short and sweet. if i can beat zelda faster than anyone i can outrun the reaper. and you know what, fuck it, i’m scared shitless of dying. it’s gonna hurt really bad no doubt. what if the brain destroyal process makes time slow down in my perception and it’s not just like five seconds of bleeding out or fire ant bites or however you go. Scary. so i’ll play along:
i am an average american man and i enjoy bad game runescape. it’s a computer game. MMO. kill monster get loot. sell what i don’t want to other players for gold. spamming chat with “SELLING BOWSTRINGS 200gp” for an hour “sucks” so the devs add a grand exchange where you can post buy/sell orders for a given item+price to maximize gameplay efficiency and minimize social interaction.
like any other MMO you can pay some sketchy website real money for ingame gold farmer by chinese gold farmers. totally against the rules. remember this
so the first thing that comes to any male aged 23-27 mind is “buy low sell high” basic bitch shit. no good. there’s a 5% tax that’ll wipe out your profit margin intended to eliminate this behavior (you’re supposed to friggen kill monsters). but everyone thinks they’re a genius and can beat the system and that there is a secret george soros style illuminati group that is holding the secrets, blah blah blah, whatever, and this comes as a coping mechanism after losing your shirt after trying to beat the market (success rate of 0%).
here is where people mostly quit thinking: if you do the math, which takes about ten minutes and can be done on one side of a sheet of paper with the most basic calculator, it’s easy to figure out that the amount of gold you’d need to play dirty (buy out all the available Feathers or Fire Runes or whatever) in order to corner the market would be so high that there is no possible way for a character to hold that much without having spent IRL money for gold. you’d get autobanned.
SO..finally, go on the ol’ www.reddit.com, and make a really really professional-to-professional sounding post advertising a “service”. Saturate the fuck out of it with dense but very real financial jargon. the “service” (which needs to be obscured enough with plausible and relevant language) is a hedging service aimed at make-believe market players who are buying and selling such huge amounts of items and gold (usually in anticipation of a game update that will speculatively introduce a sudden, dramatic, and capitalizable price change for some item). you need it to be as alien-sounding and foreign as possible but with enough believability and clarity that a handful of reddit jackasses will figure out what the fuck your post is about. whenever pressed further, act totally puzzled and make it very clear that this is not a service relevant to “individual entertainment-motivated” players or some shit. no matter what amount of gold anyone quotes at you, just act puzzled and if that amount is 1/1000th the amount one of your “normal” clients deal with. you need to do all of this extremely artfully. and by “you”, i’ve been meaning to write “me”. really lay it on thick that whatever you’re “doing” is totally unavailable to them and that you want zero to do with them.
so now theyre still mostly totally confused but enough is made clear that their interest is piqued. got my hook in em. some guy will copy/paste wikipedia shit in an obnoxiously long and pseudointellectual, contemptible but characteristically reddit guy style what you’re “selling” actually is in the most exhausting, hand-holdingest way to his fellow reddit gamers. with complete tone of authority.
inevitably one of them will put on their sherlock holmes hat and go deep undercover, emailing me posing as an interested party. bingo. now i get to really lay on the WTF and go off the rails asking about vouchers from One Of The Big Seven, but oh no, you can’t get one of them to vouch for you, that’s fine, it makes sense, we’re the only firm that deals with unvouched, that’s our market, well, one of them at least. Just give me a rough rundown of your entry criteria, dwell time, risk tolerance, fuckin “Gamma Ratio”, you know, all the basic stuff, and i’ll have the team generate a .xlsx for you to plug your data into to get a rough feel for what the final contract might be like.
(lololol) But REMEMBER, that excel sheet is seeded, output is fuzzed and salted and if you share it or try and sell it to our competitors, it will be fuzzy enough to be worthless to them but obvious to us who leaked what. this is the only way we’re able to integrate unvouched clients without untenable premiums and while managing our risk levels
blah blah blah blah, i go on and on and on and the guy on the other end is developing a scab from constant head-scratching. and that’s about the maximum real-world harm i’m willing to inflict. i know this sounds like an elaborate as fuck confidence scam but it isn’t. that shit makes me sick. i’d literally slam my arms in a car door before taking a cent from all this. hell, i’ll go out of my way to guarantee i don’t even piss anyone off or offend them or anything.
your guess is as good as mine but i do stuff like this constantly for anything i know well enough and the example i gave above is just a pretty low quality one i made up on the spot. this is a public blog after all.
anyways, cheers, hoping this saves me from dying or whatever the hell i was talking about before that could have probably been cut out. Namaste. Mahala.
211 notes · View notes