#On My Own

[slfcare]

after it has been new, scary and uncomfortable, it’s going to be okay. isn’t that what we’re doing it for?

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Ben Shapiro

Ben Shapiro was ranking versions of “On My Own” song from every production of “Les Miserables”, but he hated the original London cast one, because the singer was apparently supporting Obama.

[lowlowmaoo]

I love him

But every day I'm learning

All my life

I've only been pretending …

[sherbertilluminated]

Last night I was talking with my friends @teefigotem and @calypsopond about the pacing of the musical Les Miserables. I think Les Mis' libretto is one of the best foundations for a musical out there, but the first act has so much more plot and more iconic songs than the second, and I worry that top-heavy structure diminishes the ultimate impact of the uprising in the second act.

Caly and Maddy agreed that the 2012 film adaption had the right idea when it swapped the positions of "Do you Hear the People Sing" and "One day More." Transplanting the former to the beginning of Act 2 maintains the balance of revolutionary fervor (and iconic songs) between the two acts, and a serves as a payoff to the tension at the end of Act 1. While "Upon these Stones/Building the Barricade" begins Act 2 in the current libretto, it's high on exposition and low on enthusiasm. Since "Do You Hear the People Sing" has become an international revolutionary anthem, making it the opening of the uprising, rather than the prelude to it, builds on *ahem* that connection.

Just picture it: the audience returns to their seats, the orchestra hums with tension, and the lights go up on a somber street with a single voice—Enjolras, probably—singing. Students emerge from the set, workers join in, the turntable starts turning and it becomes clear that soon a barricade will be built in the street. The subsequent Marius/Eponine conversation that transitions into "On my Own" would still probably work here. In the span of fifteen minutes, the thesis statement of the revolting students turns into the reveal of the final barricade. It'd be pretty damn rousing, right?

The potential problem with this change is the lacuna it would leave behind. In the current structure of Les Miserables, "Do you Hear the People Sing" is an elaboration on Enjolras' claim that "they will come when we call!" and going directly from that rallying cry to a quiet romantic interlude flattens the rhetorical tension between romantic love and revolution "Red and Black" and makes Mairus seem a little silly (which, to be fair, he is. But Enjolras is not.) Although "Do You Hear the People Sing" is a little too bombastic for Act 1, before the uprising actually begins, there's still got to be some kind of transition. Something needs to foreshadow the violence to come. But what?

I proposed that the best transition would be a reprise of Stars. And that Eponine should get to sing it.

Since the Broadway premiere of the musical Les Miserables in 1987 and especially following the 2012 film adaptation, Eponine's character has been a locus for fandom attention and discourse. Because she's really compelling: despite being the daughter of the selfish, abusive Thenardier, she devotes her life to protecting Marius and ultimately sacrifices it for him. But the closest she ever gets to being understood is by the audience; even Marius, one of two people in the show to be kind to her (the other being Valjean), doesn't really understand the full extent of her devotion to him. And that devotion is powerful, whether as a proxy for audience members' own experiences with unrequited love or a representation of the bourgeousie's reliance on unacknowleged suffering. There's a lot going on with her in the musical. But there's even more to her in the Brick.

Unlike my esteemed Les Mis mutuals I'm definitely not informed enough to do original analysis, but I'm a big fan of the Javert/Eponine wolfdog theory. My introduction to it was with this post by @pilferingapples, although I don't know whether it originated somewhere else. The theory posits that Javert and Eponine, who are both compared to wolfish dogs for their ferocity and devotion to their idiosyncratic systems of morality, are character foils who represent the limited choices offered to people excluded from. I definitely don't know the op who suggested they trade methods of death (if anyone does, please let me know!) but that's also in the Brick. And while the musical adaptation doesn't preserve Hugo's canine/lupine symbolism, it keeps Eponine's one-sided committment to guarding Marius. And it keeps Javert's devotion to the institution of Law.

"Stars" is the hymn of that devotion. It's more sinister than Eponine's love for Marius, but in the grand scheme of things it's just as pathetic. Giving a short reprise of that song to Eponine not only explicates that parallel and gives new life to relatively-unused musical motif, it has the potential to tie together the action of the first act and add a new dimension to subsequent scenes.

Imagine if, instead of beginning "Do You Hear the People Sing" immediately after "Red and Black" or transitioning directly to the Rue Plumet, the scene changes to the outside of the ABC cafe. On the other side of the turntable/wall, Eponine is waiting. And worrying. She knows her father's going to rob a house tonight and that the girl Marius asked her to find lives there*. She can't let her father hurt him. She's smarter than him. She'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe, she swears—not to God or the stars, as Javert does, but to herself. The promise is shocking, because the audience heard that melody two songs ago and are just now discovering there is another way to be. There is another vow that can be made.

While she's singing, the ABC society files out the door. Maybe some hand out pamphlets or chat with people on the street. If the production wants to emphasize Eponine and Gavroche secret sibling bond, maybe they interact a little. But no one pays her too much mind. No one ever does.

The last person to emerge is Marius, looking a bit shaken. The timeline of the students' plans has been unexpectedly accelerated, he says. In case it's his last chance—nevermind why, 'Ponine, don't worry about me—he needs to see her once. You've found her, haven't you? Could you show me? Please? For my sake?

Consumed by shame and dread and the sense that he'll probably do something really stupid if she doesn't tag along, she agrees. And the stage begins to turn into the Rue Plumet, where "In my Life" begins. The whole interaction would take maybe two minutes.

There are of course thematic objections to this plan. There's the argument that "Stars" ought to be a unique, distinct song like "Bring Him Home." But those motifs are reused in instrumental form after Javert's and the students' respective deaths, so I don't necessarily think they're scene- or character-specific. There's also the argument that the melody of "Stars" is altogether too rigid for Eponine's character. I think there are a couple moments that would work quite well with the emotion("and if they fall as Lucifer fell," for example) but if you really don't want Javert's and Eponine's motif to cross, the melody of "A Little Fall of Rain" ("and you/I will keep me/you safe") could work for this moment too.

There's also the argument that Eponine already gets "too much" attention in the musical adaptation and doesn't need. But I don't know if that's true either. She interacts with Marius in several short scenes, she's present for "A Heart Full of Love" and "One Day More," she goes on her errand to Valjean, sings "On my Own," goes back to the barricade and dies shortly after. She gets about as much stagetime as Cosette does, and a little less than Marius.

It's true that she stands out as a character, but that's because she's got such interesting writing and is so isolated in the narrative. And while it's important to keep her "on [her] own," for the plot, using shared motifs to emphasize her symbolic similarities with other characters might make her character fit more cohesively into Les Miserables' grander thematic narrative. It could even make "On my Own" that much more powerful if she has a little hope that saving Marius from her father might get him to like her, and subsequently understands that this is not happening. But there's a lot more to her than being Marius' rejected best friend** and this choice has the potential to make that clear onstage.

In conclusion: moving "Do You Hear the People Sing" to the start of Act 2 letting Eponine do a wolfdog reprise of "Stars" between "Red and Black" and "In my Life" would be sick as fuck and maybe resolve some pacing issues in the libretto.

*There is a moment in the show where she realizes that she and Cosette grew up together. I like it in concept but it's a little awkwardly-placed and integrating it into the unnamed Red and Black/In my Life transition song would be great. Overall, her interactions with Marius seem like afterthoughts in between the larger numbers, which isn't fair to either of them.

**And for the record: this not a post pitting her against Cosette! They are both good characters and I wish the best for both of them!

[thepiecesofcait]

So the Éponine from my Les Mis production had her school ball recently, and I sewed her ball dress out of the stars fabric that we used in our set.

[maeslastbraincell]

In the new Châtelet version of Les Mis, Eponine sings

All my life, I've been chasing a shadow. My story is an empty shell.

And I think everyone needs to know those lyrics.

(Unfortunatly I can't see this live but I've been listening to the songs and I'm glad my first language is french because OH MY GOD. Might make a post about my favorite lyrics of the french version.)

[cometomecosette]

Les Misérables Royal Variety Performance, 1987.

"At the End of the Day," "On My Own" (in Japanese), "Bring Him Home" (in Hebrew), and "One Day More."

Dudu Fisher as Jean Valjean, Kaho Shimada as Éponine, Michael Maguire as Enjolras, Simon Bowman as Marius, Rebecca Caine as Cosette, Clive Carter as Javert, David Delve as Thénardier, Sue Jane Tanner as Mme. Thénardier.

[shitpostingfromthebarricade]

Hi! This is a bit of a shot in the dark, but a few years ago I saw a video of On My Own from an.... Icelandic(?) Les Mis production, I think on your page and I was wondering if you had a link to it? We're doing a school version next year and I want to show my boss the lighting design from it

OBSESSED with the fact that this is now a thing I'm known for.

Anyway, embedding the video below:

[dyachuk17]

I watched Les Miserables 2012 here just now

An excellent film for crying, a star cast, and also a musical, the perfect sandwich) I was also pleased with the fact that the songs in the film were recorded on the set, and not separately. The song “A heart full of love” stuck with me)

It's been a while since I drew crazy comics.

[baba-the-yagaa]

When you remember Fantine's death, Valjean's death, and On My Own have the same melody and you cry about it

[socialbutterfly19]

New day.. new adventures! Make it count and make things you want happen

[estellamiraiauthor]

I am going to see Les Mis tomorrow and this absolute QUEEN is going to be our Eponine. (She is singing in Korean here; she has also played the role there but it’ll be in Japanese tomorrow… absolute queen, yes?)

[howtomakeyousee]

[mnnulat]

Been There, Done That

Tech x fem!reader

Fandom: Star Wars: The Bad Batch

Summary: Some things never change.

Warnings: angst, unrequited love (i love Phee tho, don't get me wrong), bit of low self-esteem, jealousy, slightly implied cheating maybe

A/N: Oneshot is based on the song "On My Own" from the Les Miserables musical.

You remember that day clearly.

You were a singer at Cid's dingy parlor in Ord Mantell, earning just enough to get by. Lucky you that Cid let you stay at an adjoining room to her business place. Her parlor wasn't that famous, nor was it that underground either. There were a few regular patrons here and there; a lot of times, new faces would appear once and never come back. You didn't see that much hope in your future, either. You figured you would be stuck there forever.

Until they came.

At first, you found it odd that a group of clones came into a parlor. Even worse that they brought a young girl with them. That definitely made you suspicious. Who would bring a child in this shady place?

You couldn't even tell that they were clones at first---or even that the girl was also a clone. The men's armor seemed to be very different from the usual white and painted armor. These clones had black and red armor (save for one, who had light grey and red). They looked different, too. While all the other clones were identical---save for the varying hairstyles, scars, and tattoos---these clones didn't even look like clones at first. One was a huge giant, one was pale with cybernetics, one had a giant face tattoo and long hair, and one was slightly lean with goggles. Let's not even get started on the girl.

These clones---Clone Force 99 or the Bad Batch, as they want to be called----reluctantly started to work for Cid until it became a regular deal. And so it was that their missions for Cid would lead them to be in the parlor frequently. They would catch you performing sometimes. And sometimes, when time would permit it, they would chat with you for a bit. Omega was the bubbliest of the bunch, always asking you to play with her if time permit.

You remember that day clearly.

That one fateful day, though you wish it wasn't under such circumstance.

Omega had come running in the parlor. Trailing behind her were her brothers, covered in several cuts and bruises, especially Wrecker, who was also limping.

That was the start of it all.

Ord Mantell as a whole is a shady place. Coupled with having witnessed countless bar fights, you had to learn first aid. It was a skill you quickly developed through many oppurtunities in the parlor and in the streets. And that was how you helped the Batch. That one fateful day, you were the one who tended to their injuries.

And so it became that you turned into their medic. Just an extra hand staying at Ord Mantell, if they needed; but soon you started to tag along them in the missions Cid gave them. And being their medic meant you spent a good chunk of your time with Tech.

He filled in the gaps of your medical knowledge. Truthfully, you really enjoyed learning anything, so you've always looked forward to spending time with Tech because it always meant you would soak up tons of information. Not only that, you two would always debate back and forth on topics you were confident and very knowledgeable about. It was a fresh change from your routine life as a singer in Cid's parlour.

And it came to no surprise to the Batch that Tech was the person you grew closest to.

Everything was going well, you thought. Everytime you were with him---every smile, compliment, even critique---your smile would be at its brightest. Your ramblings would be at their most energetic. And your heart would beat at its fastest.

But as always with you, the happy things never seem to last.

You remember that day clearly.

You came into Cid's office with the Batch, side-by-side with Tech. There was someone else in the office with the Trandoshan, though. Phee the pirate. You'd recognize that charisma anywhere.

You've met her a few times since Cid seemed to trust her a great deal. You admire the lady too. She's strong, beautiful, witty, smart, independent, charismatic.

Everything you're not.

The way she talked to Tech made you feel odd. You had expected her to chat up Hunter, mostly. But not Tech.

At first Tech didn't even pay much heed to her; and to your own disgust, you were somehow thankful for that.

But as Phee spent more time with you and the Batch---up to the point of relocating to Pabu---Tech and Phee got closer.

They spent much time alone. And even when the rest of you were there, Tech would always give her a smile different than the ones you've ever seen him give to anyone. And his tone---a soft, gentle tone that he's never used on anyone else but her.

And frankly, those were the only signs you needed.

You, Phee, and the Batch had an early dinner which finished as the sun was setting. You had seen the genius and pirate get up and walk away together, laughing about something. You quickly excused yourself from the table, but not before you caught Hunter giving you a soft gaze.

Presently, you've been sitting on a rock on the shores of Pabu for goodness knows how long. Purple with hues of orange paint the sky as the sun has almost completely set. The waves washing upon the shore and recoiling back into the sea in an almost melodic rhythm.

It's only now that you open your journal---yes, a paperback journal as it feels more personal---and begin to write, the light of the sunset and a small lamp beside you shining on the pages.

On my own, pretending he's beside me.

Your mind conjurs up an image of Tech sitting silently beside you on the rock, quietly typing away on his datapad.

All alone, I walk with him 'til morning.

You two would get up and start making your back to Upper Pabu, discussing a new species of plant Tech just read about.

Without him, I feel his arms around me. And when I lose my way, I close my eyes, and he has found me.

As you write those words, it's as if you could feel the plastoid of his armor around your arms and body. A rare gesture from him, but one that you always cherished.

In the rain, the pavement shines like silver. All the lights, are misty in the river. In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight; and all I see is him and me forever and forever!

You recall a mission with the Batch, one that had you and Tech disguised as a couple, dressed in civies, walking down a busy marketplace when the rain poured harshly. You two ran back through a forest by a river to get back to the Marauder. You two were holding hands even, which made your heart thump so much that Hunter had a suspicious look on his face when you came back.

But the scene in your head disappears, leaving you alone with your journal again under the night sky.

And I know it's only in my mind that I'm talking to myself and not to him. 

You smile bitterly at the times he seemed oblivious to your flimsy excuses to just even be near him. In hindsight, it's cute and endearing.

And although, I know that he is blind, still I say there's a way for us.

Your smile drops and your head is clear once again.

I love him.

But when the night is over, he is gone. The river's just a river. Without him, the world around me changes. The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers.

Your mind drifts back to that memory of you two running through the forest. But this time, you're alone, and suddenly the memory doesn't seem special at all.

I love him.

But every day I'm learning all my life, I've only been pretending!

It's as if a Rancor were squeezing your heart as your write. Your hand shakes, making you almost drop your pen. You recall all the times you've been rejected before Tech---the two other guys that you liked before him. You weren't pretty enough for the first one, he had said so himself, as he didn't deem you mature-looking enough. You had just turned into a teenager, and that was what he was already looking for. You loathed your body and youself for that. 

And even though the second one became your boyfriend, he still left you without a word to pursue someone else.

And now that Tech has his eyes on someone else, it's as if you were a teenager again looking for approval from the people she admired.

Were you not pretty enough for Tech? Not smart enough? Not strong enough?

He doesn't have to say anything, you already know the answer.

Without me, his world will go on turning. A world that's full of happiness that I have never known.

Finally, your mind plays back the every memory of Tech and Phee enjoying each other's company. Their laughter, smiles, banter, and affection shoot like blaster fire through your heart.

I love him.

I love him.

"I love him," you mutter to yourself.

But only on my own.

You're alone as you write the last sentence. Stars decorate the night sky like glitter; the waves unrelenting in their charge against the shore. Even in the island of refuge and paradise, full of people and cheer, you feel invisible.

[fourteentrout]

I love both samantha barks and lea sologna as eponine so much like genuinely perfect casting but I will never be able to get frances ruffelle's "and I knowww it's only in my miiIIIND that iM TALKING TO MYSYAlf and not to hiiiiiiiiim" out of my head like she sings the FUCK outta that line, her stylistic choices are so fantastic, she sounds so anguished and young, I can't get over it