#Oh yeah its always meme time

[crovoroh]

that rapscallion

[queenangella]

.

[scrawnytreedemon]

GAME COMPLETED!

I need a hot minute before I gush... But oh my god, wow, this game was incredible. Not just a stellar handheld title, but a prime Zelda title as a whole. 9.9/10, for sure <3

[mudstoneabyss]

sorry now I'm remembering all the many bad Charles takes I've seen. think my favorites the person who claimed Charles must just be manipulating and using Kevin because Kevin's all scary and scarred and injured no one would ever actually be attracted to him. ableism aside, girl I thought you liked Kevin

[star-girl69]

i think aphrodite kid reader x clarisse is simply just better??? like the trope is just superior??? like, we have clarisse who is tough, and mean and one of the strongest people at camp, then we have reader who is kind and compassionate and really doesn’t care all that much about fighting. so naturally, clarisse is super protective and treats reader like a princess?? how could people dislike it 😔😔

no exactly and i actually must write about this - basically this is just all about the little things clarisse does for her perfect princess angel daughter of aphrodite gf (me!!!!!!)

okay as payment for my absence please accept some shitty headcanons I LOVE YOU ALL BYEEEE

she’s just always DOING THINGS FOR YOU

she’s so perceptive and she always knows exactly what you want and need even if you don’t know it yourself

like if you like wearing high heels one) clarisse genuinely wonders what is wrong w you

she sees no practicality in them bc there isn’t lol

but also she’s like omg???? MY GF feels safe enough around me to wear shoes she can’t run in???? WHAT JOY!!!!!!!!!

and you’ll come back to your cabin being all ugh omg my feet hurt so bad laying on the bed and putting your feet UP

and clarisse is like “well i could have told you that”

excuse me????

“don’t get me wrong baby you look gorgeous and i love you wearing heels but it’s your funeral”

“DIE”

she just laughs and takes your shoes off

she’ll continue to bully you as she’s literally massaging your feet like ok girl yeah we see you

clarisse is also a MENACE about making sure you eat

“did you eat today?”

“babe you SAW me at lunch”

“just making sure….”

you’re just so kind and amazing and clarisse loves you so much but you are not the best at fighting!

she is constantly stressed when you’re not by her side

bc no one loves you like her who will protect you 💔💔💔💔

when someone takes advantage of you she gets so PISSED OFF

bc it’s not like someone is beating you up it’ll be like someone is using you as their personal therapist or smth and you’re just like “pls go speak to an actual professional wtf 😭😭😭”

and she’s so pissed off bc WHY IS THIS BITCH PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY TORTURING HER GIRL??????

she’s not afraid to beat people up for you and actually enjoys it!

anyways, clarisse is also a koala bear

and an emotionally stunted caveman

she’s not good with her words so these actions are all she has to show you that she loves you

idk if y’all have noticed but clar rarely saying ily to y/n bc it’s my personal headcanon that she has such a hard time saying those words. she shows you she loves you but for some reason it’s just so hard to get the words out. (…BC SHE IS AN EMOTIONALLY STUNTED CAVEMAN)

so she quickly adapts to do all these little things

if you’re walking down a flight of stairs trust she is holding your hand

QUEEN of opening jars for you

if you’re not feeling well or you’re tired or just feeling lazy she’ll bully someone into doing your chores for you

also this bitch is NOT afraid to stand up for you and make sure you get what you deserve.

like that one meme

“UM… she said NO PICKLES… you fucking dumbasses…”

“CLARISSE 😭😭😭”

also like in “better than revenge” she loves to watch you do your makeup

finds it so fascinating that you can only get PRETTIER

like she’s okay at makeup but you can do that shit perfectly like standing on your head

you make it seem so effortless

she’s not a HUGE makeup girly but sometimes she’ll let you just go crazy

so you can sit on top of her….. that one sapphic meme yes…..

also she’s constantly bragging about you

“yeah… i have the prettiest gf in camp… y’all are just losers what can i say”

ofc if anyone were to agree w her she would go insane

“yeah y/n is so pretty”

“um ok yeah you don’t have to say it i say it enough….”

even if one of your siblings gives you a compliment she’s like HOLD THE FUCK ON- then she remembers THATS YOUR SIBLING ITS OK and she’s like oh this is so embarrassing.

will she stop? no ofc not

she’s constantly telling you how pretty you are. beautiful. gorgeous. exquisite. all the words

loves kissing you all over

KISSES YOUR HAND 🤭🤭

anyways going back to the clarisse koala bear agenda that got away from me

she’s just always touching you

hand on the small of your hand guiding you somewhere

hand around your waist

SITTING IN HER LAP AT CAMPFIRES

no matter what type of hair you have she’s obsessed w it. if you have pin straight hair she’s so obsessed w the fact that you don’t need a huge curl routine like her, finds it fascinating

if you do have curls she loves doing a curl routine together

whatever whatever type of hair you have she’s obsessed with it and will wash it for you if you want

so soft and lovingly like a more of a scalp massage than a hair washing

will brush your hair for you, braid it for you, anything you like just OBSESSED

she loves when you like sit on top of a picnic table and then she gets to sit in between your legs on the bench thinks it’s so so fun and so so silly

she LOVESSSSS sleeping w you OBVI.

on top of you, you on top of her, she’s a koala bear. like entirely wrapped around you

partially bc she is as aforementioned a koala bear and partly bc she is overprotective even in her sleep

if you move in the middle of the night even just a little bit

she’s a super light sleeper i feel like

always on the guard fr ✊

a little bit better when you’re there tho

so if you move in the middle of the night she’ll just like caress your hair and kiss your cheek and try to shush you back to sleep

like bitch you’re still asleep have you never heard of ADJUSTING? MOVING? SHIFTING?

hope you’re not one of those people who has to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night bc with clarisse that will stop

you can’t abandon her even for 2 minutes even for basic bodily functions like you just can’t it’s so inconsiderate to her… 💔

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

[dadsbongos]

do u think u could write some of ur own personal headcanons for laios? i love the way u write him, it seems almost canon!

anon you dont know what fire youre messing with

also thank yew hehe :>

general headcanons:

Laios likes babysitting but does NOT want to be a real papa, he adores the idea of being the Cool And Strange Uncle but just imagining having to raise a whole person from scratch terrifies him

Usually conks out as soon as his head hits the pillow and he’s a damn heavy sleeper, he strikes me as someone that gets the dad snore when he’s a bit older

Likes doing physical activity in the moment, maintaining his stamina/strength n whatnot. But HAAATES the aftermath, he will not stop bitching about how gross he feels when sweaty

People scare him but I think men specifically scare him more than women because he mainly associates “men” with his old boarding school and military peers and his dad. Meanwhile the most callous woman he’s personally dealt with is like. his mom… who wasn’t particularly menacing and he doesn’t seem to resent her as much as he does his father

Most definitely called Chilchuck “chil” in their early days together and got his nuts sacked for the unintentional disrespect

Doesn’t drink often because the taste bugs him but when he does decide to, he drinks to get drunk. So it has to be a special occasion

The type of older brother to tell Falin food fills up your body from your feet to your head and when you’re full to your head you die

modern headcanons:

Definitely the type to unironically use little emoticons like :) or :] but his favorites are the cute ones like :3 , ^.^ , and :0

Would’ve played barbies with Falin as a kid and enjoyed it more than Falin did lol

If he were out with the group (marcille would have to threaten his life though, he would HATE “going out”) and Marcille or Falin deferred to him to deal with creepy men he’d feel like a superhero about it

Borderline mandated to have a high impact phone case by Falin because he’s GOT to be dropping that shit all the time. I just know it (projecting)

Would probably dislike resident evil as a series but thinks the premises are cool

Bouncing off that: he’s a big Undertale and Deltarune fan (definitely had a thing for Toriel at some point and probably thought sans was kind of overrated). Has ambivalent feelings towards fear & hunger, likes the atmosphere and item preservation and monsters but the assault scenes and overt brutalism ick him out from recommending it

Would go his whole life without an autism diagnosis until eventually held at metaphorical gunpoint by his friends, just for his parents to go “oh yeah we had you tested as a kid but didn’t want you using it as a crutch”

If monsters weren’t real he’d be cryptid autistic just so everyone’s on the same page

Cryptids major and ocean creatures minor type autism

I don’t think he’s straight by any measure but before he has the Realization, he’s the epitome of the girls gays and coleman meme

Segue omg: he has no desire to think more about his sexuality or gender than “i feel x” or “i choose y”. I think he identifies as Man(TM) but in a “its harder to explain i want to be a bog” way. If you referred to him with feminine pronouns or called him “girl” he seriously wouldn’t give a shit 

nsfw(?) headcanons:

Could never do casual, you would have to be committed or only know each other VERY distantly and only do it once. His ass wouldn’t know how to read your relationship if you were trying to do friends with benefits (he’s also very concerned with hurting people’s feelings so just the notion of accidentally doing that to someone he’s intimate with would kill him)

May seem strange coming from a bitch always talkin about fucking him, but I think Laios would actually have kind of a lower sex drive. Like he maybe doesn’t get needy very often but also isn’t NOT in the mood, so if you proposition him and he’s into you he’ll be like “okie :3��

That being said, when he does feel needy he’s NEEDY. It’s debilitating, he genuinely can’t do or think of anything else until his poor wee is taken care of :( poor guy aww

I can see him being a virgin until his early-mid 20s and having no shame about it (good for him go king, virginity is nothing to be ashamed of it literally doesn’t matter)

Also by virgin i mean rice purity test score of like 97

Swears he doesn’t like having his cock worshipped (says its weird and embarrassing) but he’s so flustered n drooly and babbles the whole time

Biter 

[flippinpancakes64]

The Cullens with a reader who loves plants

All of these are a pre-established relationship but other than that it's completely open to interpretation

Edward:

An enabler

The first time he visited your room (that you knew of or not) he immediately saw all of your plants

The perfect easy gift

Most men give flowers, this man gives succulents

If he hears in your thoughts that one of your plants isn't doing so well or if there's one that you really want but can't afford it/ don't have space, suddenly you have a new plant

His room becomes your personal greenhouse

Not like he uses it for much else anyway

When you move in, he asks Carlisle if he can build you a greenhouse

Spares no expense

If he had his way your greenhouse would be bigger than the actual house

He will read so many books on proper care for plants and follow your instructions to a T

Man said its ficUS

Alice:

She loves seeing you happy

And if little cacti and bright flowers make you happy then she is all over them

She accidentally got a couple visions of you going to the same store and buying more plants before she really knew you

She saw it enough that she already knew that you loved them before really getting to know you

I feel like she used to have some plants but doesn't really anymore

Will buy a whole Home Depot's worth tho

Enabler yet again

When you move in she obviously helps you bring all your plants too

As a welcome present she buys really pretty matching pots for all of them

When she buys you new ones she also buys another one of those pots

Side note but I feel like her favorite plant is probably the lily of the valley

Jasper:

Is a little shocked when he finds out

He's never met someone with so much of one type of thing

Like yeah Edward has a lot of CDs

And Alice has a lot of clothes

But this is excessive

He can't even see the walls of your room

Wonders briefly if you're some type of creature that needs all of the extra oxygen that plants can cycle in order to live

He doesn't say anything though

He likes you, you like plants, so he will like the plants too

Is a bit skeptical when you move in and want to take all your plants with you

He already has to share the space with Alice and her huge closet and now there will be literally over a hundred plants?

There simply is not room

He'll try very gently to suggest that maybe you get rid of a few

That goes about as well as expected

So he just lives like this now

He isn't actually upset though

He's happy that you're happy

Rosalie:

Sorry not sorry she's an enabler

She doesn't need to go to the grocery store

Yet somehow once a week there is always a new plant in your collection

When you ask her she says she saw it while she was grocery shopping and thought you would like it

I have a feeling she cannot take care of plants though

You gave her a succulent once and it died

Literally a week later it was dead

She doesn't know what happened

You don't know what happened

All you know is that she is not allowed to touch your plants

She thinks they are gorgeous though

Will help you build a garden or a greenhouse once you move in

She likes to go out there and chill when you're not around

She loves the big leafy ones

And any with hanging vines

Emmett:

He's like the dad with the dog meme

Except with plants

He literally has never given them a second thought

Until you of course

Now he's over here like "yes I do like the pink pot better than the blue one for your money tree"

In all seriousness I feel like he'd have a HUGE green thumb

When you move in he's instantly offering to make a garden for you

Well, he says it's for you anyway

He's the one out there 90% of the time digging holes and planting bushes

He has a damn forest out there now

And I guess a couple of your plants too

Jk jk

He really took to it though

If you thought you were obsessed

He's even worse

Carlisle:

He thinks it's nice :)

Sort of in the "oh that's nice that they have an interest" sort of way

He's a firm believer that hobbies keep people sane and rounded individuals

And what's more grounding than the literal Earth and things that grow out of it

He'll never admit it is a lot though

Esme is the one who likes to decorate a lot

His office is filled with more utilitarian things, not so much decoration

Doesn't mean he doesn't like it, just that it's not what he does

He will say though, when you move in and he starts to notice some plants sitting on some of his shelves, he likes the color it brings to the room

Is another one who will happily buy you whatever plants you want

He won't take care of them though

Not because he doesn't want to or doesn't care, but he knows this is your thing

Esme:

She is a total plant girly

She does most of the interior design wherever the Cullens go, of course she takes care of the plants too

There are a couple plants in the house in the movies

I think those are hers <3

Obviously tho she does not have as many as you

But she will make it work

Y'all instantly bonded over your shared love

Another one who will buy you whatever plants you want

She can't help it when she's the one who wants them too

She would LOVE a garden

I think she would find growing vegetables and herbs to be really fulfilling

Even though she has no need for them

Maybe she'd sell them or give them away or smthn idk

But I also think she would love the quality time that working on a garden together would be

so romantic

Vampire! Bella:

Sort of indifferent idk

She thinks it's a bit odd but she has definitely seen weirder things

She does come from a family of pretty eccentric people

Overall though I don't think she would mind

She might use them as a way to get closer to you or as just another means of hanging out

If she notices it's gotten too quiet and she wants to hear you talk more, she might ask about a random plant just to get you talking again

Or she would suggest going to a plant store to hangout

I think she would be helpful though

Water, sunlight, make sure they don't die

She can do that much at least

She doesn't understand the appeal but she doesn't make fun of you or belittle you for it at all

Everybody has their interests

She doesn't mind

[vaguely-concerned]

it probably says something either sad or deeply unfortunate about me as a person, but I'm darkly amused to see some people react to the reveal of the ultimate permeability of souls in tlt as a triumphant thing -- the "you can't take 'loved' away!!!" side of it all -- when my first reaction was such an immediate wave of 'oh, oh so this is why this series is horror, I truly understand now' distress haha. ngl the final confirmation of the self not being inviolable in the deepest way freaks me the fuck out far more than any moment of body horror in the series has managed. (these two elements are of course the two sides of one thematic coin; it's about the horror of our bodies and minds and selves not being inviolable things, and about the effect of violence on them on so many different levels. violence psychological and interpersonal, physical, subtextually sexual, emotional, medical, political, a whole unlovely smörgåsbord of indignity and violation a person can be exposed to, and on a broader scale the spectrum of violence colonialism wields). The world and other people being capable of leaving indelible marks on us for good or ill through their presence in our lives is of course a pretty self-evident demonstrable truth in the real world, but somehow having it be proven metaphysically just uh. Fucks me up! 

It also drives home to me just how perfectly Muir has captured the dilemma at the heart of human connection and intimacy: the fact that the thing that gives us life and meaning is also capable of harming us so deeply. the same thing that can be so beautiful — even in a bittersweet, violently transformative form like with the creation of Paul — when done mutually and consensually and compassionately, is the same process that means someone like John can touch someone else's soul and 'after he's put his fingers on something, you'll never find anyone else's fingerprints on it; too much noise'. I think the text itself — the whole series, because to me this is what it is ultimately about, this tension between individuation/self vs. love/connection/enmeshment — is far more ambivalent in its treatment of it than saying it’s inherently a good thing or inherently a bad thing. The only thing it says for sure is that it is always a thing, that thinking you’re ever getting away from it is the height of futility, and that through being alive (or even through being dead lol) it is something you have to engage with in some way no matter what. Contact with other people is deeply necessary — without it we sicken and die. it can be the most beautiful and meaningful thing in a human life, and the most unspeakably horrific. All of these people are searching for some way to be whole, whether in total self-contained sufficiency on their own or in melding with someone else as their ‘other half’, and stumbling around in the dark they reach for each other and score deep wounds into the thing they’re trying to touch even when they don’t mean to. Taken to horrific extremes with the form of lyctorhood John guided his disciples to when they were ‘children — playing in the reflections of stars in a pool of water, thinking it was space’, because while people hurt each other all the time with differing levels of intentionality behind it, what John did was deliberate. It weaponizes the misapprehension of what closeness must be and destroys everyone involved in the process… and all because it leaves John the one sun their ruined lives have left to orbit around, because that’s the closest thing his soul will allow to connection. He doesn’t understand that to truly touch something you have to truly let it touch you back, and then wonders why he’s never satisfied.   

‘The horrors of love’ has been memed to death, I know, but… yeah. That is what it is, isn’t it.

[kimetsu-no-yaiba-writings]

Genya with a s/o who basically the enemy of Sanemi but loves Genya a lot headcanons?

Ngl, this request made me chuckle as it just made me picture genya trying to hold back his s/o from punching sanemi XD

Oh my god! Or the meme with the lady holding the dude while pointing at another dude XD

Thank you so much for requesting! Especially since I've not had many genya requests and its an honest to god crime....

Anyway!

I hope that you enjoy and that i've done your request justice, come back to request whenever you like as your more than welcome to return (^w^. )

Genya Shinazugawa with an S/O who's enemies with Sanemi - [Headcannons]

If Genya got paid every single time you and his brother fought, he'd be rich enough to buy you something fancy and a house - but he didn't so bargaining you away with promises of affection and snack would have to do...

You were so sweet with him - so kind and understanding and patient with him that the first time you'd held his hands he'd almost started sobbing

You just hated Sanemi.....

Like, really hated him - "He's an arsehole Gen!" You'd proclaimed hands vigorously scrubbing away at the dirt on the table after dinner "I hate him and his face!"

It was safe to say that Sanemi didn't really like you either but then again he didn't really like anyone to begin with... - "I hate your partners face Genya, (He/She/They) annoy me and I'd punch 'em at any given opportunity"

Your soft words of love (to Genya) turn to hard acid whenever Sanemi makes an appearance - thinly veiled threats and insults exchanged quickly - and Genya always has to take a step back from the poison you spit, thankful (and slightly amused) that it's never directed towards him

Beautiful Smile shifting into a battle-worn snarl (a flash of canine and a vein prominent in your forehead) as you enter a stance that's very reminiscent of a street brawler

9/10 you two end up brawling

It didn't matter where you two went - to the market, training grounds, a mission or on the way home - you somehow managed to lock on and find Sanemi

"I can just feel his annoying, smug energy and it makes me want to punch him"

Genya quickly finds himself developing a sanemi radar too - especially a radar that works whenever the two of you go out - that out ranks yours, specifically so he can whisk you both away before you spot him and a verbal altercation occurs

On the days where your both acting "nice" to each other (which is very rare) you and sanemi still make poorly concealed jabs at each other

In an effort to get the both of you to get along (even if its only slighty) Genya sometimes made you both wear a "getting along" kimono (much like the getting along t-shirt) so that you both weren't fighting

"If neither of you can be nice to each other for an hour, I'm not gonna speak to either of you for the rest of the day" which is quickly followed by you complaining before trying to get along with the enemy (aka. Sanemi)

Also you know the meme where there's a guy in a armchair and he asks the other dude to look at him before calling dude.2 bitch? yeah, thats you and sanemi when genya's not looking

[causeimhappinesss]

On his backseat (Joel Miller x reader)

Warning: smut, age gap (reader in her 20s), unprotected sex, slight breeding kink + wrap your biscuit, please

Disclaimer: English isn't my native language (I'm french), so you can correct me if you spot some mistakes :)

Bonus: a meme at the end

*

All day long, a crazy tension had built up between you and Joel, at first for a silly little thing, but he refused to agree with you, when you were absolutely right. Then, the tension had built up so much between the two of you, that it had metamorphosed and soon, the older man's hands had been wandering, though discreet.

“I'm going to go. I'm leaving you and don't kill each other!” Ellie joked.

With these words, she slammed the door of the car you had repaired and leaved the garage you had just entered. You would even say that she was running away from you, undoubtedly uncomfortable because of the tension that had gradually built up in the car, but which she probably didn't imagine would be sexual. From time to time, when Ellie was reading one of his comics, he had kept his hand on your thigh, which he stroked, knowing what effect it had on you. She had preferred to leave as soon as possible and give you time to explain yourself with Miller, while she rested in the house where you had taken up residence for two days, the time to search this cute town from top to bottom. Once she was inside the mansion, you turned your attention to your lover... Of course, Ellie didn't know the true nature of your relationship: friend by day, sexfriend by night.

"Well... would it kill you to admit I was right about that damn alarm?"

"You weren't right. We should have been more careful..." he growled.

"Oh yeah, sure, and spend three hours on an alarm system to disconnect it, when it doesn't even take us ten minutes to get all the weapons back." you retorted, sarcastically.

Miller grumbled, but the sound of it brought a smile to your face, because the old man always made you laugh one way or another. Then he met your eyes and a glint of mischief flashed in his eyes. You slid a hand over his chest and felt his heartbeat under your palm; a sensation you'll never forget. His lips parted, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes to know the moment. Your fingers slid over his warm skin in gentle caresses as you admired the masculine beauty of his body. Then your phalanges slid lower and traced the contours of his abs. A sigh escaped from his lips, which pushed you to unbuckle his seat belt, then the one holding his pants, which you made fall. Its excitation was felt, a bump formed in its boxer, that you touched with malice, before releasing it from this confined space.

A wave of heat ran through you as you wrapped your hand around his member, feeling the velvety texture of his skin. You began slow and gentle back and forth movements, under the spell of the intensity present in his eyes. Joel gasped, so that his hands clutched your hips as you increased the pressure in my movements. Your free hand explored the skin of his chest, then his thighs, until you felt his breath catch. You peppered him with kisses until his desire stretched like a bow.

"Baby..." he growled, sliding a hand into your hairline.

Your heart pounded against your rib cage as you knelt on the car seat, staring at your partner. Your fingers kept on caressing him skillfully, being the source of the accumulation of pleasure in his belly. Slight grunts broke through the barrier of his lips and made your hair stand on end. God knows how beautiful he was, that expression of desire portrayed on his face, eyebrows furrowed, sweat beading his gray brows. Again, you stared at his body, admiring his chiseled abs and broad chest, before lingering on the throbbing erection before you. Then, you wrapped his length in your wet mouth. You felt him harden further and moan in response to your movements, so much so that his hips undulated. Your tongue ran along his member, while your lips worked their magic around him. His hands tangled in your hair as you titillated him, encouraging his pleasure, so that he struggled to contain himself. Your tongue played with his red tip and his whole member throbbed in your mouth, as if he was already approaching orgasm. Yet you knew Joel wouldn't accept such a thing; he was always holding back to make you cum first.

"Fuck... You're going to drive me crazy..."

Soon, you could no longer contain your desire and you gave in to your desires. You climbed onto his thighs and felt the heat radiate between your boiling bodies. You undulated your hips over his boner and placed kisses on his neck, before you rubbed yourself on one of his muscular thighs. Your movements became frantic and desperate, as if the world was about to end another time.

The warm night air washed over your skin, but the coolness inside the car was gentle. Your heart was pounding, a delicious mixture of desire and fear... The fear of getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Joel wrapped his strong arms around your waist and pressed his lips to your neck. You moaned softly, your body aching deliciously from his touch. Your hands clutched at his shirt, pulling him to feel his body closer to yours. His lips follow yours in a fiery kiss. Electric sparks flew through you with each touch and caress.

Dizzy with desire, you pulled him into the backseat. His hands peeled away layers of you as you mimicked him between feverish kisses. Soon you were naked, on your knees, with your butt against him, giving him a magnificent view of your pussy. With his experienced fingers, he teased your clitoris, with which he played, while stroking your breasts. You were already wet and ready for him, but you felt no shame. Sex was one of the pleasures still present on this earth, especially when you were on the road like you. And your body knew full well that you were meant to fuck with him, it worked so well between the two of you... The pleasure climbed and your first moans of pleasure echoed through the cabin, as your fingers gripped the fabric of the backseat.

"Joel..."

He also knew what rhythm to take with your clit; he was playing with your emotions and your body. When he felt you on the verge of orgasm, he stopped and you squealed. Before you knew it, his warm tongue slid along your labia, drawing the contours of your clitoris, then one of his fingers brushed the entrance to your vagina. Another moan of pleasure forced its way through your lips and you nearly collapsed forward, but her strong arms held your thighs back.

"You taste like honey... I could eat your pussy all night..."

Your heart was pounding, banging against your ribcage violently, so you were begging him to make you reach nirvana. Without delay, the orgasm hit you full force, your legs shook and the euphoria poured into your veins in the form of powerful waves of shivers.

Then, with his hands on your hips, his cock pushed into you, drawing a moan of pleasure from you as he grunted. You were so tight and hot that he threw his head back for two seconds, his jaw clenched, and then he watched your two sexes joined together; an erotic sight that made him shudder. It was as if your pussy had been molded for his thick, long cock. A perfection he relished and enjoyed as often as possible. Finally, he moved inside you, a touch that filled you with more desire, made you quiver and tremble. Nothing else mattered at that moment; just you and the sweet union of your bodies. Your bodies moved together in perfect rhythm, the sound of your labored breaths filling the air of the car. The sound of wet skin slapping accompanied your song of pleasure, which you tried to restrain, to avoid Ellie from hearing you, just in case.

"Oh shit... Joel... Don't stop..."

"I don't plan on stopping..." he whispered in your ear, in a suave voice.

You held on to this moment and let his love consume you in your wholeness. You were enjoying the moment, knowing that it won't last forever. For now, you were loving the delicious sensation he was producing in your lower abdomen. His powerful hands, anchored on your waist, drew you closer to him, your back against his chest, in a carnal embrace.

Without ever ceasing his sinful movements inside me, his lips traveled the delicate skin of your neck, your faces illuminated by the moonlight, resulting in a romantic and intimate atmosphere...

"Fill me up... Don't pull out..." you moaned.

"Oh God..." he growled. He was aware that cumming inside you was a bad idea, it wasn't like you were taking birth control, but the idea of his cum filling your hot, wet pussy amplified his pleasure. He was already picturing you with a nice round belly once you got back to Tommy's.

The excitement of getting caught fed the burning fire in your veins. You made the moment last as long as possible, until you both climaxed with moans. Your pussy pulsed around his thick cock and milk him dry. Your heart was pounding, beads of sweat ran down your skin and you were shaking. His seed spilled into you as his hot breath rushed down your neck.

*

Sorry, Ellie... For the backseat you're gonna spend another bunch of hours on.

My Ko-fi: betrayedwriter

My AO3: BetrayedWriter

My Instagram: carolinemertz_

[sydsaint]

My fav shithead old man <3

Summary: Fed up with listening to Drew talking shit about her man, reader confronts Mcintyre about his big mouth. Against Punk's wishes, of course.

Raw is hosting it's final show before what is set to be a record-breaking WrestleMania weekend. You are hanging out backstage with a few girlfriends after your match with Indi Hartwell near the start of the show.

You are listening to Liv Morgan vent about Becky and Rhea when you spot Drew Mcintyre enter the room from catering. Your jaw clenches involuntary and Liv notices the fire in your eyes.

"YN? You alright?" Liv tilts her head at you.

"Hmm?" You turn your attention back on Liv. "Yeah, its nothing." You nod absently, attention back on the other side of the room.

Liv turns around and sees Drew talking with someone on the other side of the room. "Oh, Drew." She nods to herself before turning back to you.

"Yeah, Drew." You confirm, venom dripping in your tone as you continue to mean-mug the Scot afar. "Sorry, Liv." You turn back to her after a minute.

"Its alright." Liv shrugs. "I get it. Drew's been running his mouth about your man. I'd be pissed too."

Your sour expresion softens and you nod. "Phil's arm is almost healed up." You smile to yourself. "And when he's back to his usual self, Drew will get what he deserves." You glance back over at Drew one last time. "Though I do have half a mind to go over there and knock him down a peg myself." You mumble to yourself.

"Oh! That'd be fun to see!" Liv giggles, being her usual chaotic self.

"Don't encourage me." You huff, eyes back on Drew.

Eventually your intense gaze manages to catch Drew's attention. Mcintyre meets your gaze and a smug smile warps onto his face. You roll your eyes at him, which prompts Drew to come sauntering over to you and Liv.

"Oh god." You clench your teeth. "Liv, please tell me not to hit him if he comes over here." You ask her.

"Mmm, no promises." Liv giggles and winks at you.

Drew comes sauntering over to the two of you, making a point to come to a stop in front of you.

"Afternoon, Liv." Drew greets Morgan first. "Always a pleasure seeing you around." He smiles at her.

"Hi, Drew." Liv waves at Mcintyre with a mischievous grin. "YN and I were just talking about you." She looks over at you and giggles.

You shoot Liv a glare as Drew turns toward you. "Is that so?" He quirks a brow at you. "So, CM Punk's lady likes to run her mouth just like her man then?" He taunts you.

"Yeah, sure." You roll your eyes. "I run my mouth about shit that doesn't concern me." You fire back, your gaze fixed on Drew's stupid meme shirt regarding your husbands squashed WrestleMania plans.

Drew huffs a breath from his nose, his nostrils flaring up in your face. "I'd watch my mouth if I were you, little lass." He warns you. "Your loser hypocrite of a husband ain't here to protect you." He reminds you.

"I don't need any man to protect me." You snap back at Drew, chest puffed out. "Especially from some whiny little bitch that had to get his kicks dogging on my man just so he could stay relevant."

"Ooo!" Liv coos behind you.

Drew chuckles and stares down at you. "And tell me, little lass? Who's got a title match this weekend?" He taunts you.

"Fuck you." You growl at Mcintyre.

Drew chuckles again and walks off. You watch him saunter off and your anger and disdain for the man only grows. Liv puts a hand on you after Drew is gone so you turn back to her.

"Well, that was super fun!" Liv giggles.

"Yeah, loads." You huff. "Im headed back to the locker room. Catch you later, Liv." You give her a quick hug before heading off.

Later in the night you return to your hotel room where your husband is waiting for you.

"Phil? Sweetie? Im back." You announce yourself as you come through the door.

"Hey! There's my breadwinner wife!" Punk calls back to you from where he's lounging on the bed. "How was Raw? I saw you beat Indi." He adds.

You shut the door and lug your bag over to the foot of the bed. You drop your bag with a heavy sigh and plop down onto the bed.

"Work was fine." You explain. "I mostly just hung out with Liv after my match. Nothing special." You close your eyes and allow yourself to relax a bit.

"Nothing special, huh?" Punk replies and scoots down to you. He runs a hand through your hair, smiling down at you. "So you don't consider getting into it backstage with Drew Mcintyre nothing special then?"

You open your eyes and find Phil looking down at you. "How'd you find out about that?" You ask him.

"I have my people." Phil shrugs. "I do vaguely recall asking you to leave Drew to me though." He reminds you.

"I know." You sigh. "And I was trying, I swear." You insist with a sigh. "But I see him walking around backstage like some self-assured dickhead wearing that idiotic shirt." You huff. "And I hear all the stuff he says about you. And I just can't keep quiet. Okay?"

Phil smiles to himself and nods. He runs his hands through your hair again and shakes his head at you. "And that is one of the many reasons that I love you." He leans down and kisses your forehead. "But come on, YN. There was a reason I asked you to leave it alone."

"I'm sorry, babe." You frown. "Mcintyre just irks me so much." You huff. "God I can't wait to watch you kick his ass." You look back up at Punk.

"Imagine how excited I am." Phil chuckles and you watch him slide off the bed and come around to your side. "Get those off." He gestures to your clothes. "I know that you've got to be sore after that match with Indi. So i'll run you a bath." He explains before heading to the bathroom.

You close your eyes again and smile to yourself. "I love you!" You call out to Punk. "Best husband ever!" You shout with a laugh.

You hear Punk chuckle from the bathroom. "Pretty sure I'm the lucky one!" He shouts back at you. "And I love you too, sweetie!"

[dorylinae-supremacy]

Thinking about an AU where Techno, Wilbur and Tommy are all the harbingers of the actual entire apocalypse and Phil (just some insane guy) decides that those are in fact his kids and starts gaslighting the absolute shit out of them about it.

Rambles under cut!

I wanna try something where they're just more insidious and passive killers than anything else, theyre mostly just biding their time and watching as wherever they're lingering around gets sicker and just starts withering away.

They're a slow moving threat that just can't be stopped and for some reason (because Kristin thinks its funny) Phil just isnt affected by them.

Phil: Oh Techno's always been like that ever since he was a baby Techno: I have literally never met you a day in my life Tommy: Idk man... you have always been like that Wilbur: Oh my death he's actually getting to us

Its a mix of that combined with that "how did he know I was a gemini" meme

Phil: Wil! I brought you some salmon, I know how much you love it! Wilbur: How the fuck did you know I like salmon Phil: I'm your dad silly, of course I'd know :-)

I just think itd be super fun since Phil in this au is literally just some insane dude. He literally lies about their entire childhood but does it so consistently and so realistically that it throws them off guard.

I also have a few ideas where they start referring to Phil as their dad in the beginning as a sarcastic / mocking thing but accidentally just getting themselves even more adopted as they do it.

Phil: Wilbur put on a coat Wilbur: I don't need one! Techno: Go on, Wil. Listen to dad Wilbur: Ugh fine. Only because dad wants it, though

Stranger: Whos this? Tommy: Oh thats our dad. He kinda just tags along Stranger: Aww thats so sweet! You got his nose and everything Tommy: I- wh- no he's not actually our da- Phil: I know he did! Isn't he the cutest, spitting image isnt he? Tommy: You're not my dad! Stranger: Oh someones embarrassed! Phil: Yeah he's going through a rebellious phase right now

Just a mixture of things like that where it starts as calling him it but then accidentally actually giving him parental authority along with that.

I also wanna explore how Kristin and Phils relationship would be like. Maybe her as death being very bemused by this silly human that just decided she was his wife one day.

She literally visits him in dreams and stuff and he just acts as if they're married and have been for years. He complains about their 'rambunctious kids' and how he has to threaten them with her so that they behave sometimes. She finds it so silly and just cant help but play pretend.

Kristin: Hello, human Phil: My love! Its been so long since I've seen you Kristin: We've never met Phil: Oh don't say that! It hasnt been that long. I've just been far too occupied with our boys to visit too much Kristin: Our boys? I made them Phil: And they came out beautiful! I'm so glad Wil and Tech got your eyes. I was hoping they would.

I think that'd be a core part of this AU as well. Everyone is playing pretend but then it just fuzzies and it all becomes real for them. At first its a joke that Phil is her husband and their father but then they get lost in the fantasy and fun of it all and actually accept him as such.

Phil has no ulterior motives either, he's literally just a strange insane man that heard stories about neotrio and started thinking they were his kids one day. He genuinely believes his delusion and they end up accidentally making it a reality.

He just makes lucky guesses and plausible lies often enough that he's still shiny and new, he's still fun to play with and thats what ends up 'tricking' them all.

[saphronethaleph]

Sekrit Documents

Olek Taks groaned.

“Oh, no,” he said. “Not again.”

“What’s not again?” his superior asked, looking across the office.

“What do you think?” Olek asked. “We’ve gone viral. Again. Space Thunder is the number one trending topic.”

Miles Hark rubbed his temples.

“Of course we have,” he said. “Is it too much to ask that it’s because of our latest update?”

He paused, amending his statement.

“Is it too much to ask that it’s because our latest update is something people actually like?”

“Of course it is,” Olek replied. “Number two is ‘leak’ and we’re seeing all the usual memes again.”

“All right, what is it this time?” Miles asked, going back over to his chair and leaning back with a creak of adaptive servos. “What was it last time, anyway?”

“Last time was the Tie Advanced, wasn’t it?” Rocomora said, not looking up from her screens. “Someone complained that we hadn’t correctly assigned shield strength values and posted the entire technical manual for the thing.”

“No, that was the time before last,” Olek told her. “Last time was the Incom T-65, the X-Wing. That time it was the manufacturer’s documents, someone was arguing that it should be killing off TIEs one on one because of its better all-round stats.”

He shook his head. “I’m pretty sure someone got fired over that one. Or arrested.”

“Am I getting mixed up?” Miles said. “I thought the last big argument was over the AT-TE and that wheel droid.”

“No, that was months ago,” Rocomora told him. “Easily. That guy was saying that the later model AT-TE walkers from RHE had the point defence system, and after eighty posts of flamewar he put up internal GAR documentation showing it. Even though we’d specifically only included the early model AT-TE precisely so we didn’t have to include the PD system for balance reasons.”

“So… one of the clones, right?” Olek asked. “They must have been the leaker!”

“Yeah, but how are you going to tell which one?” Rocomora asked. “They all look alike!”

Miles groaned.

“I hate how often we have to have this discussion,” he said. “So what was it this time?”

Olek was scrolling through the forums, now, and he clicked – then winced.

“Uh,” he said. “It’s about campaign mode.”

“Oh, no, not the persistent campaign mode,” Miles said, putting his head in his hands. “This is going to be about the gungans again, isn’t it?”

“Worse,” Olek replied. “Some poster or other said that there’s no way the Empire should be losing any planets, because if they lost them they’d just blow up the planet.”

Miles laughed.

“What, really?” he asked. “What kind of nonsense-”

He stopped.

“Oh, no,” he said. “Oh, no. You’re not saying…”

“Yep,” Olek agreed. “He posted complete technical specifications on this giant kriffing battlestation that’d take a week to cross on foot, accompanied by a picture of the thing. And now the thread’s growing at three pages a minute.”

“Why is it always us?” Miles demanded of the air. “Why don’t the idiots at Galaxy of Spaceships have to deal with this?”

[furrysmp]

decided to go sunbringer designs for once. I have so many words oh my god

so. uh,

I am so normal about sunbringer joel smallishbeans so normal I swear. he's planning to throw the o from his name at scott btw.

... he and scar are related but I'm not explaining further until the actual fic about it comes out because there's so much plot significance in the smallishbeans.

... grian. has a book. that he borrowed from the Library. it's very relevant I swear the concept of the library is a plot point.

Also grians eyes are technically green! With a bit of purple and just. a layer of Dark over them to make them less neon green. its not in his genetics to have neon eyes. unlike scar and I swear their eye colors are relevant but like in a weird queerplatonic scarian dl based bit in the grian chapter of the fic

Mumbo is a long cat and being held by me specifically those hands are how I draw my mc skin. I wanted to draw him as this meme since 2021 but he's very hard for me to draw so I took the one time I'll ever draw him and did this.

Jimmy is. a creature. that has bird features but also cod features bc again half of the plot of sunbringer is based on empires 1. Also the bird he's holding is singing. And joel is stealing the song bc he has music type magic.

Scott! Is the one guy I can talk about! Because he already appeared in the fic. He's part ender dragon and like. a child of stars? I have a lot of times I drew him before I think but idk how much of it I uploaded before so yeah. Please ask me about sunbringer scott smajor he's one of the only ones I can talk about and he has so much lore going for him he's so dear to me

impulse is. technically part ender dragon too? the specifics will be explained in his chapter of yhiwu (alongside. a lot of magic lore. like a lot. I have half that speech written already it's basically looking the empires fic in the eyes and going "fight me uwu")

And because impulse is aligned to shadows skizz gets to be some form of light dragon descendant? Like light isn't directly an element in the magic of this universe but it does have an equivalent in the element of Life, which connects to truth and love, whereas shadows and theatrics (and storytelling in general) is always aligned to whatever element is considered dark; in this magic system, being Void.

Tango is looking up at mumbo. thats all. I don't have a lot of notes because my tango is just a little guy.

(Etho is checking smth on his smartwatch and also doing his best to ignore bdubs rn bc bdubs is in his villain arc/hj)

... ngl the only note I have on the bdubs design is that it's accidentally inspired by my human design for the main character in the show I'm writing. Bracelets and sparkly eyes and a t-shirt and. Crimes.

also not much on the cleo design she was just fun to draw but the implications of her existence are spoilers and also not really visually indicative bc idk what a "zombie hybrid" would look like so she just looks. funky. her background is all stitched together btw I finally had a use for the dashed lines brush :D

martyn and ren are. BIG spoilers. But only to like chapter 5 of the current fic. I will say I highly enjoy their existence tho. Also my ren designs always have hawaiian patterned shirts its a personality trait he seems to possess. Also his glasses are like. a hologram? bc his ears are Dog so he cant have normal glasses w like. the things that go behind ur ears.

lizzie is. also very important. she gets the two animals thing like jimmy bc axolotl and cat were her empires animals. also her buns are heart shaped I saw some fanart of that and its really cute so I also have that. and she's also looking at the long mumbo! very confused.

bigb. scares me. like yeah secret life really be mans villain arc. I tried to reflect that by actually straight up mirroring his eyes and having him be. the only guy looking straight at u. he can see u. u can run but u cant hide. also he gets cookies. also also drawing facial hair is hard he's the only time I ever managed to make facial hair look. normal. ever. wont happen again.

gem is being adorable and also definitely a deer hybrid dont mind the magic or stuff its fine (her chapter is. third in the roster. I literally just need to finish the impulse chapter to convince myself that its ok to upload her immediately after ch2).

and pearl! who we know bc she gets first chapter of the fic and thats already out. her eyes are a bit like moons btw. also she's doing magic back at gem which is cute I think. idk.

also half of them have fancy hair shines. like joel having beans that get progressively smaller. or pearl having moons. :D

[simpinformonkies]

Can I request a Redson x Calm!S/O reader, who's his partner in crime and a powerful earthbender (cause they keep him grounded) please and thanks.

Sorry this made me laugh so hard when I first saw this ask, the joke broke my sense of humor im so sorry. Anyway, here ya go!~

~~~

RED SON

-The first time he met you all those years ago, he thought you were just some weakling human that decided to piss him off, but you just raised a brow at his behavior and slammed your heel on the dirt, slamming a pillar of stone and dirt into his gut and sending the Demon Bull Prince flying off.

-Oh, he was furious at the audacity.

-But just as much, Red Son was interested; humans don't just control an element as well as you do. It was like the earth itself was your sandbox that you did whatever you wanted with; be that helping people, growing plants, or destroying his Bull Clones.

-After a while though, people just kept demanding things of you, and you just... kind of got tired of it. So what'd you do?

-Why, go to Red Son and ask for a partnership of course!

-Why? You have no idea; you just hated being demanded things of by people that don't even respect you.

-Red Son at least respected your power, even if he also hated you.

-Baby steps people, baby steps.

-So you commit crimes with Red Son, being like that silent soldier in the background that the heroes never notice until its too late and you're already attacking them. You always had Red Son's back, and stopped the worst of his injuries from happening.

-Especially from MK. Sweet kid, but a little much sometimes.

-Ya know that meme of 'the demon lord having a sweet tiny spouse, but the spouse being scarier'? Yeah, you're much scarier than Red Son is, because while he's always angry and yelling, you're sweet and kind that can flip on a dime if the right buttons are pressed.

-Anyway, you're Red Son's "rock" essentially, being there for him through thick and thin. This means you're very close to him and following him every day (or, alternatively, he's always following you, even around the council but acting like he's the one guiding you. His mother thinks its adorable.)

-After confessing to each other (in which Red Son acted like a total tsundere the entire time, let's be honest), you constantly do little stuff with your earthbending to show how much you love that. Whether that be making statue of a heart on 'fire', or doing little stuff to make him happy or his workload easier.

-Housespouse™

-Red Son often gives you gifts that mainly consist of gems (as a homage to your element of earth) and always does romantic things with you while attempting to act nonchalant or cool.

-Keyword being attempting.

~~~ BONUS:

-Your 'scary' side came out when Azure and his goons attacked the Demon Bull Family, attempting to seal away the others. You send shards of earth flying at Peng, aiming for his wings (and hitting them in quick succession) before earthbending binds and pillars at Azure in hopes of defeating him.

-Unfortunately, you forgot Yellow Tusk exists, and he bound you with magic, and then you were sealed in the scroll of memory.

-(And if that happened to make Red Son so angry that his flames sparked a brilliant blue, then only he and the brotherhood would know such secrets.)

~~~

Hope you enjoyed this!~

[witchhazelevesque]

I’ve talked about Hazel and Nico picking up stray cats in Rome and about Leo having a shop cat and I’m gonna squish all that together.  

These three are prob the most secretive ones on board and they would prob by default hide any pet. So there’s just three secret cats on board. The cats know about each other obviously and thankfully for everyone involved like each other. 

They hang out together in little hiding places which leads to some run ins with their people when they’re trying to find their cat. Sitcom level stilted conversation and side eye. 

Anyway Leo figures it out first since he’s always squeezing his way into obscure places on the ship to do repairs and work.

He’s rebuilding Festus inside the wall one day and looks up to see this pile of way more cats than he knew about and his first thought is- “Did you have babies and how fast did those babies grow up?”

The cats decide to be funny and lead Leo to Hazel’s cabin, but Nico’s the one that opens the door to find Leo and his cat and two other cats that Nico doesn’t recognize and his first thought is “Did you invite your friends without telling me, and now the ship captain has found all these unwanted guests?”

He considers playing dumb but his cat comes up and starts weaving around his ankles and purring and reaching up to be held and Nico- he can’t ignore her obviously.

So they’re just standing there holding their respective cats, this other third one sitting between them unconcerned and licking its paw and then Hazel comes around the corner to find this scene and her first thought is “What spies has Hecate sent now and put these boys under thrall?”

Three pointing spider man meme

The truth comes out and they’re like, oh cool.

Alternatively:

When Nico’s  leaving with the statue he passes by Leo and a pair of eyes peeks out from his partly unzipped backpack and Leo spots them and shouts  “I see you Frank!”

Because the thought that made the most sense to him is that Frank got swept up in the praetor duty thing and wanted to clear his camps name but didn’t want to disappoint the rest of them by leaving. 

This is of course not the case, and Nico jumps and the cat jumps and yowls and scratches her way out of the pack and takes off down the hill.

Where Hazel and Frank are standing looking at this scene. 

Leo tries to help Nico find the cat but gets distracted by Frank asking if Leo actually thought he’d leave the quest like that.

“I don’t know man! It was just the first thing that made sense! I see an unidentified animal hanging around, I assume it’s you!”

As Leo explains the very scientific (but not at all possible) theory that popped into his head in that split second that maybe Frank turned himself into one of those starfish that could regrow their entire bodies from one leg- “That’s not an actual thing, Leo.”- and then regrew himself and then turned back human and then one of him turned cat, he manages to get Nico’s attention and tosses him a bag of cat treats.

Maybe this doesn’t work and because of the timing of the shadows Nico has to leave without his cat, so Leo promises to find her before the Argo leaves. Which yeah in the long run staying on the ship is the safest option, but Nico’s still peeved about it by ToA and that’s why he’s mad- though it’d be more like annoyance at that point- at Leo.

Or maybe it works too well and all three cats appear, and this isn’t the most opportune time for that. They see how attached the cats are to each other and Nico’s like 🙄 fine whatever, she better make it out of this without a scratch, Leo.

Which she does, obviously.

Just imagine Hazel doing witchy business with the shadows of three cats hanging around her, she feels very badass and very adored. Arion is displeased at his person’s attention being divided from him but they’re cats so of course not even he is going to win anything against them. They sometimes just ride around on his back and he trots around slow enough to be comfortable for them. 

If you wanna be sad and yearning about it then Nico taking care of Leo’s cat after his death and all those Associated Feelings and then being peeved all over again when his letter arrives and muttering to the cat(s) at like every opportunity, “When your father gets home-“ just to have a reason to talk about Leo.

(Percy does confirm at some point that those regenerating starfish do in fact exist and Frank is Not Happy about losing that debate)