#and its like I don’t mind that she doesn’t answer my texts like god knows I hate texting

[queenangella]

.

[elliespassagerprincess]

write something abt gamer!Abby pls!!

Headcannons: gamer!abby anderson x reader

live footage of Abby, after dying in Valorant:

☆ Gamer Abby who worked two jobs at one point to be able to afford all the new games and set up.

☆ Gamer Abby who spent over 3000 dollars just to upgrade her pc.

☆ Gamer Abby who had everything in room because she wants to feel close to her games.

☆ Gamer Abby who felt embarrassed when you came over for the first time.

☆ Gamer Abby who apologizes for all the posters and stacks of games that littered her room.

“Why are you saying sorry?” you asked her, confused as you sat on her bed.

“This isn’t very sexy” she comments looking down at the floor.

“It is” you shrugged "everything you do is sexy Abs"

☆ Gamer Abby who memorizes all the lore to different games, and she tells you all about it, even though it sounds like gibberish to you.

“Wait what?”

“baby focus” Abby said with an annoyed tone.

“So Ellie is Joel’s daughter?”

“Oh my god don’t you listen?” Abby says dramatically.

“She isn’t his biological daughter babe” “oh.. so who’s Sarah then?”

All Abby could do was sigh.

☆ Gamer Abby who spends hours playing, but pauses her game when you send her a text.

☆ Gamer Abby who face times you while she’s playing, because she just wants to be with you.

☆ Gamer Abby who feels self-conscious when you are in her room when she plays.

☆ Gamer Abby who gets teased by her friends when they are all on a call.

“why are you so quiet Anderson?” she heard Mel ask through the headphones.

“Her girl is there, she doesn’t wanna scare her away” Nora says witch a chuckle.

☆ Gamer Abby who always feels like she talks too much about games, but falls in love with you all over again when you say: “its ok Abby, tell me about it”

☆ Gamer Abby who moves her gaming set up and posters into another room when you move in.

You walked into the room, the room that was once so colorful with games, was now empty. Naked.

“What the fuck Anderson?”

“I moved it all”

“yeah no shit… why would you do that?”

“this is our space now and I thought you know- we could… I don’t know decorate it together?” ☆ Gamer Abby who is wayyyyyy to good with her fingers, and she gets all shy when you mention something about it.

“What are you looking at?” Abby asked without taking her eyes off the screen you hummed before you simply answered “you”

You watched as Abby shook her head with a chuckle.

“I now see why you’re so good with your hands, these games are definitely teaching you something” you said with a wink and Abby almost pissed herself.

☆ Gamer Abby who uses cheesy game related pickup lines

“You must be as good as Yoshi with that tongue of yours” “Did you just cast aeroga on me? Because you swept me off my feet”

“You don't have to turn on a game to play with me”

“Nice pants! Mind if I loot them?” You never got the references but it always made you blush.

☆ Gamer Abby who almost cried when you gave her plushies from the games she was obsessed with at the time.

☆ Gamer Abby who tries teaching you how to play.

“C’mon baby it’s not that hard”

“Abby I keep dying”

“you’re dying because you aren’t focusing”

“Abby I don’t want to play anymore”

“please baby, for me?”

☆ Gamer Abby who almost combusts when you understood one of her references.

“What did you just say?”

“you said just look for the light that’s a the last of us reference, isn’t it?”

“Marry me” ☆ Gamer Abby who finds out you’ve been practicing her favorite games, and you learned the lore to surprise her.

☆ Gamer Abby who wakes you up at 3am because she was yelling at Nora for making her lose.

☆ Gamer Abby who begs you to play with her because she thinks it’s hot.

☆ Gamer Abby who was scared of being herself before she met you.

☆ Gamer Abby who wants to dress up as Mario and princess peach for Halloween.

☆ Gamer Abby who knew that you were the perfect girl when you let her decorate your shared room with a few posters.

☆ Gamer Abby who is really happy, being with you.

☆ Gamer Abby who could see the two of you getting old together. And she hoped when you were 73 one day, that you’d still be playing together

[hannahssimblr]

Seven on the button, and the doorbell rings. I hear it from the garden as I empty the contents on the lawn mower into the bin, grass stains on my new shoes, sweat on my brow. Dad comes to the back door. 

“Bell,” he says. 

“Is it someone for me?”

“I assume so. A young woman.” 

“Didn’t you let her in?”

“No. I spotted her from my office window.”

I scoff. He’s so weird. Why wouldn’t he just answer? I wipe the grass from my hands onto the sides of my shorts, kick my dirty shoes off on the patio, and head down the hallway to the sounds of Ivy plonking on the piano. 

It’s Evie, in her usual denim shorts and a thin green cardigan, hair straight and shiny and wearing a shy smile. Despite seeming slightly frazzled, she looks so nice, like she’s put in effort, unlike me, all grass stains, sweat, and hair that is no doubt sticking up at some wild angle. I run my fingers through it. 

“Oh, hi,” I say. “I didn’t think you’d come so early. I… still have to shower.”

“Oh, God, sorry, am I the first one here?”

“Yeah, but come in, anyway. My sister is just practising for her piano lessons. She hasn’t played all summer.” I roll my eyes as the door clicks behind us. “In case you can’t tell. She’s a bit shite.”

Evie doesn’t respond, but looks around her with those big green eyes taking in her surroundings, skating up the panelled walls to the Georgian coving, the ceiling roses around the lights, all restored, faithful to the original house. It occurs to me to wonder, for the first time, what her home looks like, and the differences between our upbringings that didn’t matter an ounce on our little escapist slice of the beach.

“Do you want tea or something?”

She nods, and I take her through to the kitchen. There, she perches on a stool at the island and rests her elbows, trying not to be so obvious to her gawking. This time, she takes in the kitchen, this bespoke, perfect show-house-like kitchen with all of its integrated appliances, the state-of-the-art hob that’s barely used, the skinny cupboard made specifically for all the herbs and spices that still have the plastic wrap on them. It’s nice, sure, it’s like something from a magazine, but I would prefer this was the type of house that had magnets on the fridge door instead. 

“I’m sorry I’m early,” Evie says with a rueful smile. “I thought you said seven.”

I drop a tea bag into a mug for her. “Yeah, I said seven in the text, but I suppose I should have been more specific.”

“More specific about…?”

“That seven doesn’t actually mean seven, you know? That it means, like, sometime after eight.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you expected me to decode your text.”

I laugh. The misunderstanding was my fault, really, and if I’d thought about it for even a minute, I would have known that Evie, a girl who likely doesn’t go to a lot of parties, wouldn’t know the procedure. I don’t mind that she’s here at all. I am happy to see her, but the fact that she is in my house at the same time as my family is awkward. Every time I hear someone moving about in another room, all my muscles tense up. I cannot bear for her to meet them, and be able to make some kind of judgement about who I truly am through the encounter, or worse, expose herself to their judgement and scrutiny. 

As though on cue, my mother’s heels clack through the hallway, increasing in volume until all I can do is mentally prepare myself for her entrance. I curse under my breath while I fill Evie’s cup with boiling water. 

In freshly pressed trousers, she strides into the room. All jangling keys, and an air of busyness about her, so self-absorbed that it takes a moment for her to realise we have a guest. She stops dead, and surveys Evie in dull surprise. She’s like some kind of wild, feline predator, and witnessing her interactions with people who don’t yet know her ways is excruciating. 

“Oh, hello.”

“Mom, this is my friend Evie. Evie, this is my mom,” I say. 

Evie fidgets in her seat. “Hello missus Turner,” she says, and it’s so polite that I squirm.

Mom lets out a short, percussive laugh. “Oh, no, darling. It’s just Colette. Are you one of those girls from the Holy Faith school?”

“No, actually, I’m not. I’m from Tullamore, in Offaly.” 

Mom’s eyes glaze over so immediately and obviously that I cringe. 

Pulling the tea bag out, I clarify, “She’s one of my friends from holiday.”

“Ah, Shane’s sister.”

Evie picks the mug from the counter and cradles it in her hands. “No, um… No, I’m not.”

“Ah.” She’s already rifling through her handbag. “Jude, have you seen my reading glasses? I haven’t been able to find them all afternoon.”

“Did you check the office?”

“Why would they be in there?”

“I’m just asking, did you check?”

She huffs. “Why would you suggest the office? Why on earth would I have left them there?”

“Because this is your house, and you can go into any of the rooms you like. Sorry if that’s an outrageous suggestion.”

“You know I’m never in there.”

“Well, maybe dad mistook them for his and took them in. I don’t know.”

Evie stares into her mug. I am aware of the atmosphere we’re generating here, my mom and I, but it’s hard not to descend into this childish bickering every time we speak to each other lately. Even seeing her ignites this rage in me, as she is a reminder of the injustices thrust upon me, and every time I see her smug face, I think about the position she has put me in. Dad too, obviously, but I mercifully don’t have to see him outside of occasional mealtimes, and whenever someone makes a noise that disturbs him.

Eventually, mom struts out of the room and flings open the door to the living room, curtly calling on Ivy to get ready to leave, and I thank God. I won’t relax until they do. 

“How’s your tea?” I ask Evie, and she responds with a grateful smile. “It’s lovely, thank you.” I know she’s lying. I don’t know how the nuances of creating drinks I don’t enjoy. There are rules about the correct amount of milk, and how long to brew the tea bag. Maybe I shouldn’t have bashed it around in the cup with such vigour, as though transferring some of my contaminated energy into it. I wonder if she can taste it. 

“That’s good,” I say, and we lapse into a long silence.

Beginning // Prev // Next

Corresponding LG Chapter

[justauthoring]

Shadow of Yourself [11/18]

Prompt: “You’ve changed, Eli. I barely even know who you are right now.”

A/N: we are so close to the prom episode and therefore the tournament and OH MY GOD i am so excited lol

Based off of: Cobra Kai 04x04, 04x05, 04x06 and 04x07

Warnings: some swear words (because tumblr apparently doesn’t like that)

Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x F!Reader

Tag List: @moonydrafts - @ashwhowrites - @traveleraroundsworld - @truly-abysmal - @likecherriesinthespring - @hollxe1 - @asonofpeter - @scarlett-verse - @musically-ambiguous - @kayda1 - @moon-zoons - @dwcode - @day-dreamsinthedark - @leilani788 - @silvermagnolias - @hawkinsavclub - @animewolflover278 - @gruffle1 - @b-tchymoon - @maggiecc - @beetea38 - @hawkinsavclub1983 - @crpytids - @embersparklz - @kimilight - @httpjiikook - @marauderssmut - @fyckcore - @multinci - @lqveabby - @oh-well-whatever-nevermind - @redskull199987 - @silvermagnolias - @shortneko - @okjaeminn - @thecyclonetragedy - @vamproq - @siriusfahey - @cobrakaigirlie - @kaylinfayezink - @oursuh - @aphroditelxver - @minl0u - @cherrywinepoison - @bath1lda - @fixalice - @fallsofserinity - @maisieibae - @ssrcsm​ - @notplutos - @kaitieskidmore1​ -

THE NEW DO:

Eli had walked you home after you’d calmed down. 

He’d asked you if you wanted to stay over, that he didn’t mind letting you take his bed and he’d take the couch – that he was sure his mother wouldn’t mind either and had been asking about you anyways. But you declined. You didn’t want to impose and still, despite all but sobbing on him, you didn’t know if spending the night at Eli’s was the best idea.

So, instead, you’d both compromised and he walked you home.

An awkward goodbye that consisted of silence, warm cheeks and a hug, before Eli turned to walk off; not without inviting you out with him and the rest of Miyagi-Do/Eagle Fang out tomorrow. Apparently, they were all going to the drive-in movie tomorrow and Eli remembered hearing Sam say she’d text you about it, but wanted to ask you out just in case. The thought had made your heart flutter and a warmth to flood you – it’d taken you a moment or two to find your words and nod.

I’ll pick you up tomorrow, then.

That’s what he said before leaving, a simple wave your way and assurance he’d see you tomorrow.

The butterflies that had fluttered in your stomach were undeniable, and you’d almost completely forgotten about your mom until you opened the front door to find her sitting on the couch, before promptly jumping to a stand when she heard you come in. One look at her face and the worry was plain, her eyes were puffy and red and you couldn’t help the small bit of guilt you felt realizing she’d been crying; though you’re sure you looked much the same.

“You weren’t answering your texts,” she breathes, shoulders falling as if a weight had fallen off of her. “You can’t just not answer your texts.”

Hugging the sweater Eli had given you (and the one he refused to let you give back), you glance down at your feet. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, “I wasn’t thinking.”

Your mother sighs, “look, Y/N, you have every reason to be upset and I’m not gonna ask you to forgive me. You don’t have to talk to me. Just, please, don’t run out of me like that again. I was so worried.”

Nodding, you bite your lip. “Okay,” you concede, not knowing what else to say. Really, you didn’t want to say anything else. “I won’t. I promise.”

“Now, get to bed,” she says, stepping back as you finally raise your head to look at her. “It’s late.”

You watch as she hastily brushes back strands of hair, the messy bun on top of her head half-hazardly falling out of its elastic. She looks tired, bags under eyes and stressed, and part of you feels guilty – for reacting the way you had, for not listening to her, for just running out and not even giving her the chance to explain. But when your lips part to say something, anything, you’re still angry and hurt and the fact is you don’t want her to leave more than anything else. 

But she’s still going to.

“Goodnight,” you offer quietly, moving to the stairs.

“Goodnight, honey.”

You leave it at that, silently making your way up the stairs until you make it to your bedroom, letting the door shut softly behind you. Once alone, you stand there for a moment, lips pressed tightly together as you think of your mom, just downstairs, clearly upset and the fact that, by the end of the week, she won’t be there anymore.

You’ll be home alone all again.

Slipping Eli’s hoodie off of your shoulders, you bundle it in your own hands, holding it to your chest as you slump to the ground. Bringing your knees up, you hug yourself, bringing the hoodie up to your nose, you breath in, taking in the familiar scent, and trying to ignore the way your body reacts in response, a small smile despite everything curling onto your lips.

At least there was that.

-

“Robby?”

You reel back at the sight of the boy, the drive-in being the absolute last place you expected to see him – not to mention, you could’ve sworn you just saw him talking to a boy in a Cobra Kai t-shirt. You’d known he’d been staying there, the sensei that had taken over having taken some sort of liking to him and offering him a place to stay but… but you didn’t think he was still staying there.

That, and the fact that he’s still not answered any of your texts and you were starting to think something terrible had happened to him–

Turning at the sound of your voice, Robby’s eyes widen.

“Robby!” His name leaves your lips in a breath of relief, rushing towards him, oblivious to the pair of eyes that follow behind you. “What the h*ll! I’ve been texting you and you haven’t been answering me!” Not even giving him a second to speak, your eyes flicker around, taking the truck behind him and the sight of Tory and Kyler inside. “I thought… Are you?” You can barely finish the words, eyes flickering back to him in disbelief.

It’s all piecing together bit by bit.

“Y/N–”

“You said you weren’t going to join Cobra Kai.”

Avoiding your eyes, Robby huffs; “it’s not what you think.”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you scoff; “it sure looks like it.” Then, shoulders slumping, you take a step towards Robby. “Why haven’t you been answering my texts, Robby? I was worried.”

“Things have gotten complicated,” Robby sighs, “I haven’t had the time to respond.”

“Yeah, complicated because you did exactly what you said you wouldn’t and joined Cobra Kai.”

Eyes narrowing, Robby just shakes his head; “I have it under control.”

In disbelief, you can’t believe what you’re hearing. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”

He glares at you, and you have to resist the urge to reel back at just how angry he looks. You haven’t seen him look at you like that since when you first joined Miyagi-Do – funnily enough, that had been when he thought you believed in Cobra Kai.

Now look at him.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Y/N. So, don’t act like you do.”

Blinking, your lips part, stunned. Stunned that Robby would actually say that to you. And most of all, hurt because this was starting to sound almost entirely too similar to so many conversations you’ve had before with another boy. And the look in his eyes felt like Deja vu staring back at you, like a slap to the face, when you realize just exactly what’s happening right in front of you.

“Robby–”

“Piece of shit.”

You never get to finish what you’re going to say as the words leave Robby’s lips. He’s stepping around you in the next second, barely giving you another glance and confused, you spin around to see where he’s going only to pause when you realize just exactly who he’s heading towards.

Sh*t.

“You should watch where you’re going, kid.”

“Yeah, same goes for you.”

Quickly making your way over to Robby, you falter in your step as your eyes meet Eli’s. You also notice Bert and Nate behind him, the both of them quickly rushing to stand slightly behind Eli as Robby walks up to him, the other boy who’d been there moving to stand next to Robby instead.

This did not end well.

“Look who it is,” Eli calls, walking up to Robby threateningly.

“Eli,” you plead, his name leaving your lips before you can stop yourself. You rush towards him, pressing a hand to his chest to stop him as you glance back at Robby briefly; “it’s okay. Let’s just go.”

Eli meets your eyes and it almost looks like he’ll listen to you, until;

“You betrayed Miyagi-Do,” Nate spits at him, “traitor.”

Eyes falling shut in frustration, you realize it’s too late to hope for this to end peacefully.

“Oh, there’s a traitor here for sure.”

And there comes Tory.

Glancing over your shoulder, you turn, facing Tory as she makes her way over, eyes set straight on Eli; Kyler and a few other Cobra Kai’s behind her. 

“He’s gonna get what he deserves.”

“I don’t think so,” a new voice speaks up, and your eyes widen when you see Sam, Miguel, Chris and a few others from your class making their way up to the group, obviously standing on Eli’s side. “Not if I have anything to say about it, Princess.”

There’s a moment of tense silence, either side just staring at one another, before Demetri cuts in.

“Hey, guys. Can you believe that they have Mr. Pibb and Dr. Pepper?”

Everyone turns to look at him and as his eyes meet yours, you raise a brow.

The meaning is not lost on him.

“Oh, shit.” He huffs, “not another rumble.”

“Careful, Larusso,” Tory taunts, “your mommy isn’t here to play peacemaker.”

Sam’s eyes narrow; “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Guys, stop!” Miguel cuts in, voice desperate; “we can’t do this. We’ll beat them on the map.”

Letting a small smile grace your features, you find yourself proud at Miguel’s reluctance for violence – at the very least unsupervised and regulated violence.

You’ll take what you can get.

“You remember what happened last time we fought, right?”

Turning to Robby in disbelief, your lips part.

Why would he–

“Okay,” Miguel nods, playing into the bait. “Meet us at the baseball diamond in thirty minutes. And no weapons.”

So much for his reluctance to violence.

“Yeah, we won’t need them.”

“Yeah.”

Turning when the rest of your group does, you can’t help but let out a sigh.

You just wanted to watch a movie with your friends.

You’re proved wrong however when Miguel says that you won’t be fighting like he expects – he assures you all that you’ll still make your move, but there’s no need for it to get violent. So, slightly puzzled, you sit squished between Sam and Demetri in the back seat of Eli’s car, and watch as Robby, Tory and the rest of Cobra Kai make their way onto the baseball field, eyes peeled for sight of any of you.

Only for the sprinklers to turn on just then, dousing them in water.

“Dude,” Eli laughs, “genius move! We didn’t even have to throw a punch!”

Demetry laughs, reaching forward to nudge Miguel lightly; “my favourite kind of victory.”

Letting out a laugh, you can’t help but agree.

-

Johnny isn’t quite as impressed with Miguel as you are.

“You just poked the bear,” Johnny huffs at his student. “What do you think’s gonna happen?”

Confused at his response, you turn to look at Demetri.

“Think they’re just gonna leave well enough alone?”

Mr. Larusso walks in just then; “from everything I heard, it sounds to me like Miguel practiced restraint.” He offers, coming to Miguel’s defense. “Found a way to get out of a bad situation without anyone getting hurt. What did you want him to do, get in a drive-in switchblade fight?”

Honestly, you can’t help but agree.

However, as Mr. Larusso turns to Miguel, setting his hand on his shoulder, smiling and proceeds to compliment Miguel, it isn’t hard to see the way Johnny’s eyes narrow.

“I’m proud of you,” Mr. Larusso grins. “You’ve taken Miyagi-Do teachings to heart.”

“Okay, Larusso,” Johnny huffs, “we need to have a talk.”

Yup. Just as you figured.

Only, neither of them get to say anything as everyone’s attention falls on the two new men who have just walked into Mr. Larusso’s dojo. One, you instantly recognize as John Kreese, but the man standing next to him is a new face.

Yet, even just one look at him makes you feel instantly nervous.

There’s something off about him.

“Gentlemen,” the new face grins, “it seems we have a few things to discuss.”

With that, you and the rest of the students are quickly ushered inside; both Mr. Larusso and Johnny not wanting any of you to hear what John Kreese and Terry Silver you learned his name was, had to say. Of course, none of you listen as everyone gathers near the sliding doors of Mr. Larusso’s dojo, opening the doors while everyone shoves their head through to try to get a peek at what’s happening.

It’s hard to hear exactly what they’re saying, but one thing you can tell is Mr. Larusso looks madder than you’ve probably ever seen him look.

“Your dad’s pissed,” Miguel whispers to Sam, noticing what you had; “who is that guy?”

Just as confused, Sam shakes her head; “I have no idea.”

“He looks like Highlander,” Bert offers.

“The Highlander,” Nate corrects, “there can be only one.”

“Well, whoever he is,” you speak up, worrying your lip. “I don’t trust him.”

No one responds – but everyone's face is clear; they feel the same.

-

Making your way around the corner, your face brightens at the sight of Moon, offering her a smile and a wave when she does the same. You only briefly meet Yasmine’s gaze along the way, her offering a small, somewhat forced smile that you don’t bother to respond – you were happy for her and Demetri, truly, but that still didn’t erase the years of torment that she had inflicted on you.

And without an apology, you weren’t so willing to forgive.

So, continuing on your way, you hold the textbooks in your arms to your chest, gaze on your feet before you catch sight of purple, and your eyes widen when you realize that that purple is Eli. 

He’d changed his hair.

It looked... good.

He’s standing with Demetri, but your gaze is focused on Eli completely and wholeheartedly. 

Picking up the speed in your step, you move to greet the both of them, only to falter when you hear what Demetri’s saying.

“What about you and Moon, eh? Did I detect a note of rapprochement in the air?”

Steps faltering, all excitement quickly fades through you as Demetri’s words register in your mind, the disappointment heavy on you as you feel your shoulders sag. A glance back reminds you of who you’d just seen walk by, and the pieces come together as a weight falls over your chest. You take a step back, nothing bothering to listen to what Eli has to say in response – truthfully, you’re too afraid to hear what he has to say back, fearing the worst.

And because of that, you don’t hear him vehemently correct Demetri that he and Moon were just friends and were better that way or the way that Demetri smiles knowingly at that and your name leaves his lips as Eli’s cheeks warm.

You also don’t notice the both of them see your figure hastily rushing off either, not until, at least, you hear Eli call for you.

Your body stops on its own, doing so without evening realizing, and when you turn back to face him, Demetri has walked off and it’s just Eli.

Forcing a smile on your lips, you pretend like you hadn’t just been eavesdropping on them. “Hey,” you smile, moving to fall into step with him, briefly meeting his gaze before you let your eyes wander to your feet, watching your steps. Eli pauses slightly at that, wanting to have stopped and talk to you, but he follows after you quickly regardless. 

“I, uh, like the purple. It suits you really well.”

It’s what you’d wanted to say to him anyways.

“Oh, uh, thanks,” he grins distractedly, touching the side of his head. “I felt like a change was due.”

You smile up at him, nodding; “I liked the red, but the purple really suits you.”

He smiles, but doesn’t say anything in response. You turn to him just as the both of you turn the corner, his lips parting to say something as the look on his face turns to one of concern. Only, he doesn’t get to finish what he’s saying as the both of you are interrupted by Miguel, Demetri and Sam rushing up to you.

“Yo,” Miguel calls, pulling your attention on him. “You guys won’t believe this. Sensei got drunk and went on a Twitter rant.”

He holds his phone out, Eli easily grabbing it as you raise a brow; “I believe everything except for the part where he knows how to tweet.”

Demetri snorts; “that’s what I said.”

Sticking your tongue out at him, you move to lean over Eli’s shoulder, ignoring the slight moment of pause from him as you grow closer, letting your eyes flicker across what sure enough is a series of tweets from Johnny himself.

Tomorrow night. Eagles reign supreme.

It’s time for the Valley to see what karate is all about!

IT’S ON: LAWRENCE-LARUSSO REMATCH! hashbrown dead meat.

You snort; “hashbrown?”

Meeting your eyes, Miguel shrugs; “he doesn’t really understand how to hashtag things.” Then, shaking his head, he sighs, “it looks like he and Sensei Larusso are gonna have a rematch.”

“Wait,” Eli calls, “so they’re really gonna fight?”

“Apparently,” Sam shrugs, “should’ve seen this coming.”

“Who does he even think he’s tweeting for?” Demetri calls to attention, “you’re his only follower?”

“I don’t know,” Miguel sighs, dejected. “H-He seems serious about it.”

“Yeah,” you grin, unable to stop yourself as you point at the phone; “he ‘hashbrowned’ dead meat.”

Eli and Demetri chuckle, and you like the fact that Eli responds so positively, but Sam and Miguel just frown at you.

Biting your lip, you offer an apologetic smile.

“So, this is real?” Eli grins, looking entirely too pumped; “Sensei and Sensei are gonna throw down?”

Sam and Miguel nod.

“That’s awesome!”

-

Johnny’s tweets get around – whether that’s because of the students actually finding his tweets or word getting around from namely Demetri and Eli, the entire class is there at the dojo when you arrive. 

Well, everyone but Eli.

When you ask Demetri, he just shrugs, not sure himself. It worries you, given you remember how excited he’d seemed over the match between your two sensei’s, but you barely have time to worry either way because the match is starting before you can do much about it. And reluctantly your attention is stolen by the match as Johnny and Mr. Larusso makes their way to the sparring deck, Miguel and Sam moving to either side of their respective sensei to help keep watch of points.

Chris is center front of the group, his phone stretched out on a tri-pod to catch every second of said match.

The match starts after a few short words are shared between both Mr. Larusso and Johnny, stepped away so none of you can hear. And you watch as Johnny manages to get the first point, a strike to Mr. Larusso’s arm, but Mr. Larusso is able to easily gather said point right back in similar fashion.

It continues on like that, intense sparring that results in the match ending up two to two until whoever gets the first hit wins.

You’ve never seen a match quite like theirs. They’re pretty much equal in strength, the match being able to go either way, and it’s hard to keep up with their movements as each one moves with precise and quick movements.

It ends with the both of them striking each other straight in the chest, knocking them to the ground.

“Point, Lawrence!”

“Point, Larusso!”

Confusion falls over everyone as Miguel turns to Sam; “are you sure?”

“Are you sure?”

“Check the replay!” Demetri calls out next to you, everyone quickly moving to do just that, gathering around Chris who rewinds the video just until the moment of the final kick.

It doesn’t really help clear anything.

“Go to another angle,” Johnny shrugs.

“There is no other angle,” Chris turns to him, confused.

“Don’t you guys have another phone?”

“I–”

“Hawk?”

Turning alert at Miguel’s voice, your eyes instantly flicker upwards, glancing at Eli who had caught Miguel’s attention and instantly seeing what was wrong. His face is covered by the hood of his hoodie, hiding most of his face, and his shoulders are curled in on himself, and it isn't hard to tell there’s something wrong.

“Shit, Eli, what–what happened?”

Pushing your way forward, you pause right in front of Eli.

He avoids your gaze, refusing to meet your concerned gaze, as he raises his hand, pushing his hood off.

Your eyes widen, lips parting as he reveals just what had happened – his mohawk had been ruthlessly cut off, half-hazardly, strands of purple hair sticking up from the sides, while the middle is completely shaved, uneven in it’s cut. You’re honestly surprised he’s not cut anywhere given how rough it looks like his hair had been shaved. But what really catches your attention is how red and puffy his eyes are, something that’s clear now that his hood is no longer covering his face.

Hands falling to your lips, you feel your heart break in worry for him.

Johnny steps forward, moving to a stop right in front of Eli; “who did this?”

Eli only hesitates a moment; “Cobra Kai.”

There’s a collective series of sighs, but you hardly care. You rush to step forward, moving towards Eli as Johnny steps back, giving you room.

“Kreese and Silver did this,” you hear Johnny call out, “they need to pay.”

“Eli?” You call softly, hand falling on his arm as he moves to pull his hood up, hiding himself once again. “Eli, are you–”

He just turns away from you, shrugging your hand off of him.

“Jesus, Johnny,” Mr. Larusso huffs, “please. Kreese tried to kill you last time. You wanna fight them both?”

Frowning, you turn back to Eli, but he won’t meet your eyes.

“Damn right,” Johnny argues, “look at what they did.”

“Dousing the fire with gasoline, that’s your answer? Why am I not surprised?”

Distressed, Miguel steps towards Johnny; “sensei, stop.”

Johnny just disregards him. “You still think your way is the only way. You were so proud when they pulled their little sprinkler prank. But if they stood their ground and kicked ass like I taught them, this never would’ve happened.”

“If they fight every time they’re provoked, where does that lead?” Mr. Larusso recalls, throwing his hands up. “Back to the hospital? Or to jail?” Come on, just ‘cause you spent time in both–”

“Enough, dad,” Sam cuts in, voice pleading as she steps in front of Johnny, as if protecting him from her own father. “Johnny’s right. It doesn’t matter how many times we stand up to Cobra Kai, if we don’t strike back, they’re gonna keep coming at us.”

The silence that follows is thick.

“And you were worried about my influence on your kids?” Mr. Larusso breathes, “is that what you wanted, Johnny? To have my daughter and the rest of my students acting like you?”

“You don’t have to worry about it anymore.,” Johnny assures, taking a step towards Mr. Larusso. “Cause we’re done.”

“Works for me.”

There’s a moment where the two just stare at one another, before Johnny concedes, stepping back and calling for Eagle Fangs to follow him. You straighten out at that, panicked as you move towards Eli, watching as Johnny hesitates, staring back at Miguel, who only after a moment, reluctantly follows Johnny.

Eli makes a move to walk off and you grab onto his wrist, grip tight, pleading; “Eli, just wait. I just want to know you’re okay–”

“Just leave me alone, Y/N,” he brushes you off, ripping his wrist away from you. The action stuns you enough that you don’t move at first, body freezing at his harsh words and his complete dismissal of your concern. His back turns to you and he doesn’t offer you another glance back as he walks off, following after Johnny.

Your hand hangs in front of you, bewildered.

When Miguel walks past you, he frowns at you, but doesn’t say anything, slowly following after the rest.

Biting your lip, you hold back the tears that threaten to fall as you watch them walk off.

As you watch Eli walk off.

-

You stare down at your phone, those tiny little letters staring back at you.

Read.

Yeah, you can’t help but scoff. Read, but still blatantly ignoring you.

“Hey, everyone, gather around. I have news.”

Sighing, you push your phone into your back pocket, moving to gather around Mr. Larusso with the rest of the students.

“The All Valley committee just announced big changes for the tournament.”

“What kind of changes?” 

Handing the paper over to Sam, Mr. Larusso smiles; “see for yourself. It’s a whole new ball game.”

Leaning over Demetri, you squint to read the letter.

“They’re introducing skills competitions?”

“Yup.”

“Kata, board breaking, weapons display?”

None of that even matters to you as you read what’s below it.

Glancing up you meet Sam’s eyes, “and there’s gonna be a separate girls’ division.”

She nods, “so that means…”

Mr. Larusso smiles; “there’s gonna be two All Valley champs.”

“Wait,” Chris calls, puzzled, “what does that mean for the bet with Cobra Kai?”

“There’s a Grand Champion trophy for whichever dojo wins the most points,” he explains.

Sam shrugs; “all I know is the girls’ division is mine.” Then, pausing, she falters, turning to you; “I mean…”

You just laugh, shrugging as you hold your hands up; “it’s all yours, Sam. I hardly doubt I have the skill to compete with you.”

“It could go either way,” Mr. Larusso cuts in before Sam can reply, smiling at the both of you. “At the very least, I’m positive we have one of the winners here.” He gestures to the both of you, a reassuring smile on his lips as he meets your eyes.

Turning to meet Sam’s eyes, you can’t help the smile that curls onto your lips at Mr. Larusso’s encouragement.

You? Win? You doubted it… especially if you ended up having to face Sam.

Still, it felt nice to know someone at least believed in you.

“And that just leaves the skills and the boys,” Mr. Larusso smiles, turning to the rest. “I’m counting on you guys.”

Demetri and Chris pause.

“Who, us?”

“Yeah,” Demetri nods, “we’re a bunch of Rudys. I mean, sure, we’re good for the occasional inspirational moment, but we’re not exactly center mat material.”

“Demetri,” you call, frowning up at him. “That’s not true.”

“Uh,” he pauses, pointing his finger at you. “Yes, it is.” And honestly, he doesn’t even look the slightest bit offended or disappointed by his own words – he wholeheartedly believes them.

“We were much better off with Miguel and Hawk,” Chris reminds.

“Or he who shall not be named.”

Robby.

“Rhymes with ‘Dobby’,”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go on a whim and assume they knew who you meant, Demetri,” you snort, setting your hand on his arm with a shake of your head.

“Look,” Mr. Larusso sighs, “I know you’re missing some of your friends. And of course I wish Robby was here.” Letting your gaze fall to your feet, you hug yourself. “But it’s time to put the past behind us, all right? Don’t worry. By the time the tournament comes around, you’re gonna realize this was the best thing that could’ve happened to us.”

-

He’s not answering any of my texts.

I think he’s embarrassed.

Why? I would never make fun of him.

Yeah, and he knows that but he doesn’t want you to see him as some loser.

Oh…

Look, I’ll talk to him okay? 

Okay… thanks, Demetri

Of course.

Setting down your phone, you let out a heavy sigh, hands running across your face.

You were happy Eli was at least still talking to Demetri, but you couldn’t deny you were a little hurt that he’d all but shut you out. You thought things had been going well between the two of you, that your friendship was starting to mend bit by bit and… you’d even thought maybe something more would happen. 

For him to just completely shut you out, refusing to answer your texts, ignoring you when you try to visit him…

He doesn’t want you to see him as a loser…

That’s what Demetri had said, and you guessed, when you thought about it like that it did make sense. You’d known that that mohawk had meant something more to Eli than just some haircut, that it had been a staple of change in his life. It wasn’t hard to tell it was something that gave him confidence, that made him feel better about himself and you don’t think you’re wrong to assume that he probably thought it was what defined him as a person now.

Hawk. The kid who could fight. The kid who kicked ass. The kid who wasn’t bullied anymore.

The kid who wasn’t a loser.

Without that mohawk, he must’ve thought none of that was true anymore.

You only wish you could tell him that that wasn’t the case. Be there for him like he’d been there for you…

“Y/N!”

Eyes falling shut at the sound of your mother’s voice, your shoulders sag. It takes you a second longer to gather your courage, leaving your phone on your bed as you make your way out of your bedroom and down the stairs, stopping just in front of your mom who’s stood by the front door; a suitcase in one hand and her purse in the other.

She’s leaving.

“I’ll text you when I’ve landed, okay?”

Nodding, you wrap your arms around yourself. “Sounds good.”

“I’ve left you money as usual, but if you need anything else, just text me. Extra too for your prom dress.”

“Okay.”

“You’ll be good?”

“Always am.”

Frowning, your mom raises her brow at you.

You concede; “I’ll be good.”

“Okay, well, I gotta go.”

She makes a step towards the door, and your body flinches, the thought of running and hugging her crosses your mind – but you don’t move.

“Bye,” you offer quietly after a moment, raising your hand in a wave.

She looks disappointed, but doesn’t say anything.

She leaves in the next second, the door falling shut behind her with a soft click.

-

“So, that’s new…”

Eyes trailing after Tory, you can’t help but nod at Moon’s words.

“I didn’t know she was even allowed back,” you mull, turning to look at Moon as her eyes follow Tory for a moment longer, before meeting yours. “Pretty sure Sam had to give the okay first, and last I saw, she was anything but okay with it.” Watching Tory disappear down the hallway, you shrug; “clearly she changed her mind.”

“It’s weird,” Moon mumbles, “having her back.”

“Yeah,” you breathe, “I agree.”

Moon shifts beside you, her hand falling on your arm; “enough of that,” she brushes aside with ease, causing you to blink at her in confusion as her face breaks out into a bright grin. Her eyes twinkle with mischief, a sight that instantly makes you feel apprehensive. Over your short time of knowing Moon, that look has never meant anything good.

“Are you excited for prom?”

Oh.

“Um, yeah, I guess,” you shrug, unsure. 

The truth was, you weren’t that excited. Not as much as you should be. After everything that had happened recently, with Cobra Kai and Robby, and then Mr. Larusso and Johnny splitting, your mom leaving and now Eli… well, it was hard to really feel excited for such a thing in the midst of it all.

Especially, because you’d always hoped you would go with Eli and it didn’t really feel like there was a high chance of that happening.

“Come on!” Moon laughs, pulling at your wrist, “you’re not even the least bit excited?”

You pause. “Not really,” you admit, “I don’t even have a dress yet.”

Her eyes widen, lips parting as if you’ve said the most unbelievable thing ever.

“What?”

Jerking back, you frown; “I’ve been really busy with school and karate and–”

“Are you free after school?” 

Turning to Moon, you hesitate; “well, no… Mr. Larusso said he was going to focus on the boys for this class so–”

“Perfect,” she smiles, not bothering to let you finish your sentence. “Then me and you are going dress shopping.”

Your lips part; “oh, I dunno Moon… I don’t really–”

“You don’t have to go to karate, yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“Then, I’ll find you the perfect dress,” she assures, squeezing your hand tightly in her own. “I promise you.”

You meet her eyes, seeing just how excited she is and you find as you stare back at her, you can’t say no. Not when she’s looking at you like that and certainly not when she looks so excited.

“Okay,” you smile lightly, nodding. “Sounds like a plan.”

She practically squeals from excitement. “Perfect! Trust me, Y/N, I’ll find you a dress that makes you stand out from everyone else.” Then, pausing, she smirks at you; “one that’ll maybe catch the eye of a certain boy, yeah?”

It isn’t hard to tell who she means.

Cheeks burning, you avoid her gaze. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Sure,” she laughs, shaking her head as she drags you along the hallway.

-

As soon as you got home from Moon practically dragging you to every bridal shop she could possibly find, not settling on one dress until she was absolutely sure she’d found the right dress, you were more than exhausted. 

Your feet dragged beneath you as you made your way up your driveway and to your front door, your bed calling for you as you held your dress tightly in your arms, fishing for your keys. You’d had homework that you were supposed to get done, but it could wait another day, and honestly, all you wanted to do was fall asleep and never wake up again.

But, despite all that, you couldn’t deny you’d had a fun day. Moon was incredibly sweet, if a little pushy, and she made you feel like a goddess in almost every dress you’d tried on all whilst making sure to find what she deemed the ‘perfect’ one. What you’d settled on had surprisingly left you feeling excited for prom, even if you currently had no date and were positive no one would be asking you anyways… Prom actually seemed exciting to you now, and you were oddly looking forward to wearing your dress.

You were never one to dress up and honestly, going out of your comfort zone was something you avoided. You’d learned over the years that it ended up just embarrassing you more than it ever made you feel beautiful.

Yet, the dress in your hands did make you feel beautiful and you had only Moon to thank for that.

With a small smile, you shift the dress, flipping your keys in your hand, only to pause at the sight of Eli sitting on your front porch.

“Eli?”

He jumps at your voice, sitting up straight when he realizes you’re standing in front of him. Almost instantly, he moves to his feet, your eyes following him as he steps towards you, eyes distantly flickering to the bundle in your arms before meeting your gaze.

“Hey,” he calls softly, hands shoved into the pockets of his sweats.

“Hey,” you breathe.

He looks different then the last time you saw him. The most notable changes are the fact this time he isn’t teary-eyed and the strands left from his mohawk are completely shaved off, leaving him with a buzzcut. But, you notice it just like you notice everything about Eli the way he’s not curling into himself or hiding, and he’s meeting your gaze without an ounce of hesitation and he just appears… more confident.

Even if only slightly.

“What’s, uh, what’s up?” You ask, head tilting to the side in curiosity.

“I just came back from class,” he explains, scratching behind his ear.

“Oh,” your face falls with understanding, eyes softening. “Johnny was able to find a place to train? I know Miguel was saying he wasn’t sure where–”

“Uh, no,” Eli cuts in, making another small step towards you. Your brows furrow at his words. “I was actually at Miyagi-Do…”

Your eyes widen; “wait…”

“Yeah,” he nods, “I joined Miyagi-Do… I, uh, wanted to be there for Demetri and um, well, you too.”

You can hardly believe what you’re hearing.

There was a time where Eli would’ve scoffed at the mere mention of Miyagi-Do.

“Woah,” you laugh lightly, “I missed one class and we get a new student.”

Eli chuckles at that, shrugging; “we… I missed you there. I wanted to see you and apologize for not responding to you… I shouldn’t have ignored you like that, it wasn’t fair of me and–”

Taking a step towards Eli, you shake your head; “Eli?”

He pauses, meeting your eyes. “Yeah?”

“It’s okay,” you assure, voice soft. “I know you needed time. And I’m glad you figured it all out.”

Even if I would’ve liked to be there for you too.

His smile brightens at that, and there’s a moment of silence before he asks what had clearly been on his mind; “where, uh, where were you?”

“Oh,” you jump at that, stepping back and staring down at the bundle in your hands, cheeks warming slightly. “Moon and I were out shopping,” his eyes widened at the sound of his ex. “For, um… a prom dress for me.”

His lips part; “I didn’t know you and Moon were close.”

You shrug, “she’s good company.” Then, ignoring the way it makes your heart hurt, you tease; “you lost something good with her.”

Eli shakes his head. “We’re better as friends.”

You try to ignore the hope that floods through you at that.

“So, uh… prom.”

Body tensing, you meet Eli’s eyes; “yeah… prom.”

His cheeks flush, the tension turning awkward as he avoids your gaze, staring down at his feet and your body feels like it’s electrified with anticipation.

Was this it?

Was he going to ask you?

“Should be fun.”

It takes everything within you not to show just how disappointed you are.

Your shoulders sag and you almost feel like crying as the words you’d so desperately hoped to hear from Eli don’t happen. 

Forcing a smile to your lips, you nod; “yeah, should be.”

His lips part, as if to say something, before he stops himself, body faltering as he turns, “well, I should… I should get going.” He says, and you try to ignore the disappointment that courses through your veins.

“Oh, okay… sure,” you nod, stepping out of his way. “I guess I’ll see you at class, then, huh?”

Meeting your gaze fleetingly, Eli nods; “yeah, I’ll see you then.”

You wave at him as he walks off, waiting until he’s completely disappeared out of sight before you let your shoulders fall, biting your lip to stop the tears that threaten to fall.

You’d… You’d really thought he was going to ask you.

It was stupid of you to get your hopes up.

Eli probably didn’t even like you in that way. Not anymore. He probably wanted to ask Moon, and you hardly doubted he really thought the two of them were ‘better as friends’. It was silly of you to ever think otherwise…

Not when prettier girls existed.

Glancing down at your dress, you swallow thickly.

Yeah, it really was stupid of you.

[emmatgc]

Wonderful World Part 9

I Found Love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) 

Seon Yul POV 

“And I've moved further than I thought I could

But I missed you more than I thought I would

And I'll use you as a warning sign

That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be

Right in front of me

Talk some sense to me” 

This is Seon Yul’s current favorite song listening to it upon arriving at their rented dorm just outside the hospital they will be studying for a short course. This is on replay button. He can’t help but feel this is his song for her and towards her. It is 1pm in Germany, and it is 8:00pm in Korea. He wasn’t able to call upon landing an hour ago since everything went fast when they were fetched by the dorm master and showed their place. He doesn’t want to be rude and all, so he just texted Soo Hyun, smiling like a teenage boy “I’m here” and I miss you already”. 

He is now sitting and wondering if he calls her since its kinda late at night 

“I don’t know exactly where this feelings of mine started for HER. When my Mother told me to stop my revenge plans years ago, God, it feels like a decade ago but still raw.  All I wanted was to ruin her and make her feel the pain I was feeling. It started with a lie, everything. It wasn’t coincidence, I planned everything and somehow, the outcome was something I didn’t anticipated. I fell in love with her not knowing it was love. They say the opposite of love is hate and I believe that’s what happened to me. I tried to move on, and moved out away from her after that fateful day I went to her book signing event. That was 6 years after and I still felt the same. I was scared but I was sure. I wanted her. I don’t want anybody else. Hells be damn. I’d be lying if I didn’t feel conflicted. She killed my Father so how I can love her? It is twisted. I know. I wish I had answers but I don’t and I don’t care. Still, I would be fine if she didn’t love me back because the last thing I wanted is to force her and hurt her. We bleed the same. Now, she is saying we should give it a shot. Now, I am more than scared that I ever was. True, I want her but do I deserve her, really? What should I do now? God, I am acting like a greenly teenager having a huge crush on a teacher. Haha She is like a strict teacher in my eyes and I always have a thing for strong older woman. It is the reason I didn’t have girlfriends really and those younger than me, I treat them as lil sisters. I was attracted to more mature woman and Soo Hyun is just perfect. She is perfect. She was my torment but now she is my savior”

Checking his phone now, thinking of calling her… he continued in his thoughts 

“When I saw her at the airport time froze. I froze! I cannot believe my eyes. Is this some joke or am I dreaming? Then she hugged me and there it made sense. It is real. Honest to God, I wanted to kiss her right then but I held back for her sake. I didn’t know if she was ready. People say Im crazy but indeed I am. Now that I have her, or shall I say, we have a chance, she didn’t say she loves me yet, or is in love with me, we will take it slow like she said. Im happiest that I’ve ever been and I don’t want this to end. This is something new and everything is uncertain but she said “yes” to a chance and Im gonna try my very best to make her happy. I am sure of my feelings, the question is, will she be able to love me back?”

Soo Hyun POV

It is 8:00pm now, and Soo Hyun was restless and nervous. Will he call? Was it true, what happened at the airport? Maybe I am dreaming, maybe its all a bad joke. She is rumbling by herself. Then, her phone rang 

“I’m here and I miss you already” 

She dropped her phone and thank goodness she is in a couch. Her heart fluttered and her stomach felt butterflies. My gosh, she said, I am acting like a teenager! What should I reply then? Should I reply? Maybe tomorrow since its late already, he needs to rest but wait, our time zone is different now, she realizes. She prepared herself a tea to calm her nerves and it allowed her to think. Think about him and what happened at the airport. 

When Yoo Ra told me they were going abroad, I was shocked and I admit, I was feeling weird. Was I jealous? I know Yoo ra likes him. But I cannot stop thinking about him since he left the orphanage and I tried to stop thinking about him but I can’t. Im too old to feel this way. He is way too young for me and I….I killed his Dad. How can he love me like that? It is crazy. He is crazy. Whats crazier? Why am I feeling this way too? I want him but I know this is wrong. Who dares love the killer of his dad? This is some punishment from the Gods! Yet, if this is a sin then I guess I am willing to take. I want to be happy and I want to move on. I want to choose life and happiness and he….he makes me happy. I don’t know why and how but he does even those years ago, when we were at odds. I cared for him a great deal already. Not as guardian but as person, as a woman, too. Seon Yul didn’t know, I called the hospital and got Yoo Ra’s contact number. I lied that it has something to do about their work at the orphanage but really it wasn’t. We talked. She said “you are both crazy for each other and so if you have any feelings for him, then go with me at the airport and say it directly to his pretty damn face! Yoo ra is great. She is feisty. She should be the one with Seon Yul but He likes me instead. He is in love with me, he said. I like him, too. I want him in my life but truly, I am not sure if this is the same love I had for my husband yet. He was the only man in my life for a long time. But, I had to give my heart a chance this time. Gosh, am I doing the right thing? We bleed the same. The song I love entitled “where is my love” the lyrics there “Don’t she know, we bleed the same” hit me when I listen to it. When he was scared, I wanted to comfort him. When I was scared, he wanted to comfort me. He is like me with all the pain, the agony and sufferings. We can heal each other. We can move on. Together, we can. 

Drinking her tea..she continued “When I saw him at the airport, for the very 1st time, I found him so handsome. My heart skipped a beat. My goodness, I was crazy and acting like a school girl in front a crush! He is like the boy next door type after all. You know the guy across the street. Very pretty, handsome but really prettier than me. Haha.. I can sense his shock and disbelief and I wanted him to feel secured that I am giving this, Us…a chance. I like him and I want him to stay in my life. I don’t know how , or when it will stop of if I will stop but for now, it is what it is. I finally admit, I like him, too. I cannot deny it anymore. 

 It is 2pm now in Germany, Seon Yul is settled and he is worried because she didn’t replied. Is she asleep already? It is after all 9pm. He was about to call it a night when his phone rang… “I am glad you are there safely. Have you eaten? Don’t forget to eat promptly.” 

Haha he laughed. She is always thinking about feeding me and still so proper in her texts! Their “feeding” moments started the very 1st time they got to know each other. They talk over food and it made Seon Yul like her all the more. Seon Yul’s eyebrow slightly raised because she didn’t say she missed him back but it is ok he said, one step at a time. Trust the process. He wanted to reply “goodnight” already since he worries she might stay late if they still talk but he has to try. The boy has to try. He misses her already and he just wanted to hear his voice. 

There were 3 rings and finally, she answered. Seeing her phone rang and his name sent shivers to Soo Hyun. She is so nervous. 

Hello? She said. Hi, he replied.  Both were smiling. 

Seon Yul held his breath and there will silence. As always, Soo Hyun, the “mature” of the two, as she says it herself and she takes pride in it, ask how is he. 

How are you? I am glad your plane landed safely, Seon Yul.

It was a good flight. How are you? 

I am good. Im about to rest. 

Oh, Im sorry , I shouldn’t have called. We can..

NO, its ok. I am glad you called. 

Butterflies felt in his stomach. She is the only one who ca make him feel that way.. So…he said, he cleared his throat. Sorry, I don’t really know what to say, I’m such a mess. Im nervous, Soo Hyun. 

She laughed and replied “I am nervous, too. We are both crazy”. 

We are hahaha 

Have you eaten? You haven’t answered me yet. 

Do you miss me? You haven’t answered me either. 

Both answered simultaneously “I have, said Seon Yul and I do , said Soo Hyun. 

He has eaten and she misses him. 

Both seemed happy with their replies. 

Soo Hyun? 

Yes? 

What are we now? 

Hmmm… I don’t know. 

You don’t? 

I..am not sure but, exclusively dating? 

Seon Yul smiled so wide. His face is gonna hurt if he won’t stop smiling. 

Ok. 

OK? 

Yes. OK. We are dating. Exclusively. 

You don’t sound happy, Seon Yul? 

I can show you how happy I am but it won’t be appropriate Soo Hyun 

She shivered again. She finds him sexy just this instant. 

Is he flirting with me? Soo Hyun wonders. 

He sense the tension and maybe the shyness of Soo Hyun, and he broke it off, still smiling. 

We will take this one day at a time. Nice, easy and slow Soo Hyun, don’t worry. 

They thought they will talk for a minute or two but ended talking 2 hours. They talked about his room in Germany. She was pleased to know the decorations and such. He told her about his scholarship and she was very much impressed. He loves impressing her.  He asked about the orphanage and it seems they are comfortable as they can at least for now. They are friends after all and to level up, is another thing. 

You better rest and sleep now, Soo Hyun. 

Alright. Goodnight Seon Yul. 

Take care please? She added. 

Always. Goodnight and I…I love you. 

You are playing dirty, Seon Yul. 

I’m not. You are. 

See you, I mean, let’s talk again tomorrow. 

Someones excited to see me home already huh.mm

Let’s put the phone now, she said and embarrassed. They both laughed 

Goodnight. Goodnight.

They finally put the phone down and she slept. He on the other hand has to prepare for a meeting. They are now somehow together. They are exclusively a “thing”, dating” They like that word. 

For 5 weeks, the long distance “Sort of relationship” they have was a challenge but not a big one. Yet for Seon Yul, he started missing her so bad already. Seon Yul had a great time in Germany and in his last few days, he was ready to go home. He wants to see her so bad already. 

Yoo Ra will have a different flight and different day to go back. She will stay over for another week. Seon Yul can’t wait to go home. He wants to bring something for her. Yoo Ra helped him tour the city. 

“I meant to ask you, did you and Soo Hyun talked? That day at the airport. How did it happened? 

Yoo ra being funny and jealous of Seon Yul being in love and she, still single, said “I told her if she won’t pursue you, I will?” 

You did what? Seon Yul, about to get furious

Hahahaha..she laughed so hard. Relax, greenboy. I was joking. To cut the story short, we talked. Girl talk. That’s all. So, stop asking already. 

He bought her a cashmink scarf from FRAAS, an 18th century famous german brand. She likes scarfs and he wants to put it on her. Winter is coming and he also bought her a jacket and scented candles. He bought also Kaweco Fountain pens. Of course pens, he said! She needed pens for writing and book signing. Yoo ra can’t help but laughed at him. “You haven’t even bought 1 thing for yourself and Soo Jin, you are a bad friend, Seon Yul” She smacked him at the back. 

He bought a tea set for himself and wanted that tea set for them to use when she visits his home soon. He imagines Soo Hyun having tea at his house. He also bought basic building blocks for the kids in the orphanage. HE never bought a lot for someone ever before. Not even for her mother or father. He has it bad, he thought. 

Yoo ra bid goodbye and they will see each other in Korea next week. 

Seon Yul was packing when he heard his phone rang. 

It is Soo Jin 

Hey bro! I heard you are arriving tomorrow. I want to fetch you but I believe somebody is fetching you tomorrow, right? I don’t want to be the third wheel. Haha, Yoo ra said the same thing. Ill see you soon! Im gonna be mad if I don’t have a gift, bro! 

Seon Yul laughed and thought to himself he has the best friends in the world. Another less to worry in this crazy world they have now entered. 

Soo Hyun texted Seon Yul. “Ill see you tomorrow. “

See you tomorrow. 

I miss you… Seon Yul was shocked to read and he read it again to check if he is wrong or just sleepy right now. But it says right there, she missed him. It’s progress, he said. He giggled. 

He replied “I miss you more. See you tomorrow!”

The next day, Soo Hyun was early. She was excited. She missed him dearly. He was gone more than a month and the yearning and longing was strong for him. She can’t deny it further. 

An hour later…there he is. 

He has arrived. All wearing his gorgeous smile , pretty hair, in white. She wants to run towards her but her feet seems stuck and she can’t move. He is back. He is now my…my Seon Yul. Distracted, Seon Yul hugged her first. He smelled her and squeezed her. 

“Hi” he said. 

Hello, she answered. Welcome back…welcome home. 

Yeah, it is good to be back. 

Let’s go, she said. 

Wait, he said. He took the scarf and put it on her neck. The fuchsia pink scarf. He bought 3 actually. You look beautiful, he murmur.

There, you are ready now. We are ready now. 

Where to? He asked. 

Anywhere with you? she replied.

He chuckled. Sounds romantic, he replied.  They both have huge grin and acting so in love. 

Let’s go. He held her hands. This time though, she interlocked her fingers in his. They were holding hands, properly and romantically now. 

The dating era is about to begin. 

Indeed, they both found love where it wasn’t supposed to be. 

Note :  I do back up research on this story ever since just because also I am a researcher myself. From the places in Korea to the songs, the inspiration and just currently, about Germany, and its famous hospital areas and gifts. Originally, I intended for this to be a 1 shot story but I want to honor and craft slowly this slow burn love story of our favorite characters. They deserve it. I hope you are feeling what I am feeling. I surprisingly enjoyed this for months now. Writing this one, my ever 1st fanfic is very challenging but enjoyable. Now, instead of 10 chapters, this would be probably be 12 at least. So, thank you for sticking with my story. You don’t know how much it means to me. Here and on X (twitter) thank you so much for your support! Next chapter is called “Secret Lovers”. Enough said, the title is everything and more. See yah!

[familyabolisher]

now that it's been a fair few months since the release, how do you feel about nona the ninth as compared with the first two entries in the series?

you know what! i like it a lot, and i think a good number of the criticisms leveraged against it were unfair. certainly it’s less cohesive than gideon and harrow were – compared to its predecessors, it leaves us with a maddening number of unanswered questions that can’t be tackled through inference or else left ambiguous in ways that could be compelling (what happened in the interim between the two books? how did pyrrha come to be with camilla + palamedes, and how did harrow’s body get there? what happened to gideon’s body? what’s up with the barrage of new concepts that the book introduced and left hanging: the messenger(s), the tower, the devils, the cradle creature?), such that it felt quite a bit less tightly formed and plotted than the other two. i think gideon and harrow had a good balance of internally asked-and-answered questions and questions that were posed with intent to be answered at a later date, whereas nona was heavily skewed towards the latter such that it felt a little off-kilter. i do think some of that disorientation comes from the fact that tamsyn muir is a very precise writer; i don’t know that i’d be picking up on the comparative thinness of nona if it weren’t for how gideon and harrow were both so fluently composed in the first place. but the point is, it’s definitely there; i don’t at all think that a pared-down nona incorporated into alecto would have been ‘better’ (contrary to some people’s opinion, i don’t think any parts of nona are superfluous), but nor do i think it wholly holds up on its own.

it also has a handful of other weaknesses – i have a fairly high tolerance for tmuir’s humour, which when it lands manages to land really well but when it doesn’t it doesn’t, and i think nona often erred on the side of doesn’t, and it felt a little too heavyhanded at points; which has been a consistent problem throughout, tbf, but, idk. tmuir can be a very subtle writer when she wants to be, but, again, when she isn’t, she … isn’t. and that began to grate a little, after a while?

however, at a certain point i’m willing to throw over the instinct to be nitpicky about Form or Structure or whatever and say that the actual content of the text – the discourse it managed to develop, the direction it dragged the body of the series in, the sorts of themes and ideas it articulated – was really, really strong, such that i’ve been chewing on it for months now. i think the fact that i still think about the scene with john’s ‘creation’ of alecto almost every day is a testament to the sheer weight that got thrown behind that passage – at the end of the day, whatever structural weaknesses the book may have is secondary to the fact that it made me feel the need to go eat sandpaper. a book that makes you need to go eat sandpaper is a good book!

also, god, some of tamsyn muir’s writing! there are times when she leans into a voice that a less skilled writer would deploy to create something excessively florid and, frankly, pretentious, but she’s laid the kind of groundwork throughout where there’s substance and meaning and precision to the prose voice that makes it equal parts chilling & joyous to read. some of many passages i’ve been rotating in my mind:

“Green thing,” said the Captain. “Green-and-breathing thing, big ghost, the drinker, transformed, what will you eat now? Where will your body go? What did he do to you, to make you this way? You eat yourself. I gorge on unliving marrow.” It was true; the Captain looked as though she were withering before Nona’s eyes. She cried out in haste: “Don’t ... stop that! I can’t stop it, but you can stop it. Stop hurting her ... She doesn’t know what you’re doing.” “You cry mercy?” said the Captain. “Yes—mercy—yes,” said Nona. “I have crossed the face of the universe,” said the Captain. “I poison it to match my grief.”

“They concoct their own vengeance,” said the Captain. “Their justice is not my justice. Their water is not my water. I came to help. I am made a mockery. The danger is upon you, and you do not even know ... they are coming out of their tower, salt thing. There is a hole at the bottom of their tower. I will pull their teeth. I will make it blank for you.”

He said, From my blood and bone and vomit I conjured up a beautiful labyrinth to house you in. I was terrified you’d find some way to escape before I was done. I made you look like a Christmas-tree fairy ... I made you look like a Renaissance angel ... I made you Adam and Eve … Galatea. Barbie. Frankenstein’s monster with long yellow hair. He said, As the world went up I remade us both. I hid me in you ... I hid you in me. And when we were together ... once the shaman had claimed the sun ... I became God.

He coughed fretfully—batted another metal-fisted hand at Paul, who had instinctively surged forward—and he said, “Look at you, you cock-o’-the-walk, you filigree piglet, you scum. A whited sepulchre ... Ninth blood on your foreign sword...”

He said, I just wanted to be in the lab. It felt like I could sit by those two bodies, those two kids, and make time go away. I could sit next to them for six minutes, I could sit next to them for six hours. Just listening. They were my moreporks and possums. I was hearing their bodies in all that silence, all the bacteria that weren’t growing ... what wasn’t building up in the gut, what wasn’t pooling at the joints. They were my silent night. I should have been doing paperwork and closing reports, but I hadn’t opened the computer in days. I couldn’t stop thinking about their palms, their hands. I touched their hands so often. I’d touched their hands before, but not like this. Even when I wasn’t touching them I could feel their skin on my skin, that temperature that wouldn’t change. I kept thinking I was touching them when I wasn’t. M— said I should probably get tossed in a rubber room, but she wasn’t scared I was nuts. She was scared I wasn’t. He said, You know, I can’t even remember how it came together now. There was no catalyst, no revelation. I was too far gone for revelations. It was like I’d been dozy and now I was waking up. So, my two kids, the guinea pigs, they were U— and T— on their certificates, you know, their old names. I thought about using those but it didn’t seem appropriate. They weren’t around to say yes or no. I was starting to really care about that. What they would’ve thought, what they would’ve wanted. My two kids with their frozen brains and their perfect internal temperatures. There wasn’t a place on the poor bastards I hadn’t breached with a thermometer, and now I was knocking before I came into their room.

literally just the phrase ‘the shimmering white figure of the dead Kiriona Gaia’

The rock loomed so big above, so awful in the electric light. There were so many people standing above her, her body, the baby’s body. The baby with the big black eyes. The scrap of meat with the purple mouth.

John loved her. She was John’s cavalier. She loved John. For she so loved the world that she had given them John. For the world so loved John that she had been given. For John had so loved her that he had made her she. For John had loved the world.

i’m not one for close reading but there are so many lines and passages in nona that i just want to go through with a fine-tooth comb, word by word, because everything is so deliberate and so infuriatingly good, lmao. i actually struggle to care all that much about the points where tamsyn muir is bad because when she’s good she is running circles around just about anyone else in genre fiction at the minute, and frankly when you’re doing the kind of things that she’s doing i think you get to use homestuck fanfiction and 2010s internet humour as your building-blocks as often as you like. 

i’ll also say that i think the john chapters are the strongest pieces of writing that taz muir has put forth in the entire series, including the whole of harrow, which is already like genuinely one of the best-written books at least in contemporary genre lit (and probably in a far wider-reaching net than that) that i’ve encountered in recent memory. john 1:20 is permanently lodged in my brain; i am never escaping john 1:20 disease. i reread it when i’m bored sometimes just to make myself insane.

anyway, i’m really looking forward to revisiting nona in the wake of alecto and treating the two as one unit, because i suspect that a lot of nona’s weaker points will disappear or else become more coherent when considered as part of that broader whole. if we remember that nona was originally act one of alecto – well, it makes total sense for there to be a lot of questions posed in act one, with the assumption that they will then be developed and answered in acts two, three, four, and five. + something like paul, who imo felt very random and unresolved, makes far more sense as a near-the-end-of-act-one incident; it’s introducing a sudden change, doing something we as audience have never seen before, and setting up the other four-fifths of the narrative to carry its implications. my point is, nona to me makes a lot more structural sense as an opening to a more expansive text; which is exactly what it is. pro-nona the ninth account, its weaknesses stem from the fact that it’s a breakaway from alecto and i’m just not pedantic enough to mind all that much about internal coherency if that coherency can then be achieved in the last book – which i suspect it can! where nona’s good, it’s really fucking good.

[yae-energy]

pick up the phone !!! pt2: electric boogaloo

synopsis: my take on whether they’re a caller or texter

cast: maki zenin, yuta okkotsu, toge inumaki x black fem reader

cw: cursing, (yuta’s part is a teeny tiny bit self indulgent 😬 <3 mb y’all)

—

maki - texter (occasional caller)

- doesn’t mind being on the phone since it’s you, but is more of a texter

- answers immediately like it’s almost scary

- is a bullet texter 🤷🏽‍♀️ idk she give me those vibes

- like i feel if you’re asleep or smth and she wants to talk to you she WILL spam you

- does not care

- has dnd on but allows your notifs to go through <3

- calls you when she can’t sleep but the second y’all get otp she’s knocked out

- like you’re talking about smth stupid and when you don’t hear her answer you’re like

“this bitch 😶”

- will facetime you but her camera is always off when she does

- however, if your camera is off she will be mad

“yeah go ahead and turn that camera back on you’re not slick 😐”

“mmcht 😒”

- has your contact photo as the picture she took of you kissing her cheek on y’all’s first date

- but then has your name saved as smth like

- “weirdo 🤥”

- always, always. ALWAYS. texts you good night

- she will not sleep until she does

—

yuta - caller (facetime)

- loves seeing your face

- facetimes you nonstop

- litterally twice a day he is obsessed with you

“babe can we facetime ☹️ i miss you”

“baby i wanna see your face, facetime me”

“facetime??? 😁”

- loves when you guys eat on the phone together cause he thinks its a date !

“bae can you pass the salt? 😋”

“boy if you don’t getcho corny ass on somewhere 😭”

- you still do it though cause it makes him laugh, it’s y’all’s little inside joke

- loves facetiming you on wash day cause he likes to watch you detangle your hair

- finds the way you work the different moisturizers and curl definers through your hair satisfying

- tells you you’re pretty nonstop

- has your contact saved as “my pretty girl 💕”

- and the photo is of a picture he took of you during golden hour when the sun was hitting you just right

- sends you good morning and goodnight texts

“good morning beautiful, hope you slept well <3”

“goodnight my love 😴”

—

inumaki - texter

- this man is a menace

- A MENACE I SAY

- litterally texts you all day

- like you could be at work and here he is blowing up your phone like a madman

“love, im at work 😭”

“i didn’t ask all that but ok”

- does not give 1, 2, or 3 fucks

- is always

- and i mean

- ALWAYS

- sending you those flirty meme pictures

- he thinks they’re so funny 😭😭😭

- sends hella tiktoks

- doesn’t know how to start a conversation to save his life though so he’ll usually just send something random asf in hopes of getting your attention

- works every time though

- checks on you to make sure you’re having a good day and to remind you to eat and drink water

- sends imsg games

- is an 8 ball god so you hate playing with him

- whenever you start losing you send darts and he get real quiet

“you always do this bs 😒”

- your contact photo is of you wearing a tinfoil hat he made cause he’s gotta protect you from the aliens !!!

- your name is set as “❤️❤️❤️”

- gets the point across perfectly in his opinion

[marve2014]

No Time Like the Present

Wednesday Addams x fem!reader 

Part Three

Summary: Aftermath of Part Two

Warnings: Minor mention of violence, kidnapping.

Minors DNI

Word Count:3.1k

Authors Note: All characters aged up to 18.

Coming too everything is hazy feeling like you just woke up from a bad nap. You can’t really make out any distinct voices, you just hear a bunch of beeping; your attempt to sit up and open your eyes goes terribly wrong and ends up causing you to feel lightheaded so you lay back down. You take in your surroundings slowly, recognizing you’re in a hospital room but can’t remember what you did to get placed here. You notice the only pain you have is in your head and you don’t seem to have any wounds anywhere. You press the call button next to your bed that rings the nurses’ station, and you wait for someone to come in. Instead of being greeted by a nurse, your mother comes rushing in and smiles widely seeing you awake. She brings you a cup of water and sits next to you on the hospital bed  

“Oh, my sweet girl, you gave me quite the scare.” Your mother says as she runs her fingers through your hair and gently cups your face with both hands “Never do that to me again.”

“I’ll try not to.” You smile back at her “What exactly happened? My head is pounding.”

” I’ll grab some medicine for that and be right back to answer any questions. You have a visitor though; I’ll send them in while I’m gone.” As your mother leaves you adjust the bed and try to get more comfortable; hearing the door open you look up and find Tyler standing there holding some flowers and a stuffed bear. “Glad to see you alive, I don’t think I could handle training another person on the espresso machine.” He laughs and sits down in the chair next to your bed. Taking the stuffed bear, you cuddle it and then pull Tyler into a hug. “Thank you, for the gifts and coming to see me.”

“Well, it’s not every day a normie gets caught in the middle of Nevermore problems you’re the talk of the town.”

“On great. Can’t wait to read about myself in the paper.” You gently laugh. “Tyler… I know I’m going to sound crazy, but A monster killed that kid. All I remember is him holding Wednesday in the air and then dropping her as the monster attacked him. Wednesday! On my god! Is Wednesday okay?!” 

"Wednesday is perfectly fine. Apparently, your scream scared off whatever it was before it could turn to you or her.” Tyler explains. 

“Oh, okay. Well good. Good, good, good.” You fiddle with your hands refusing to make eye contact with Tyler. “Has, um, she asked about me? You know what never-mind. I don’t want to know.” 

“Well actually, she has been by every hour, on the dot. You have about 7 minutes until she walks through the door again”

“Are you serious? On God, I look like crap. She can’t see me like this!” you squeal and pull the covers over your head  

“Yeah, you don’t really have a choice. T-minus five minutes until darkness walks through the doors.” Tyler laughs and pulls you from the blanket and pats your fizzy hair down

“Have you spoken to her?…” 

“Nothing too serious. Just checking up on you and her constantly asking if I saw anything strange, that kid lived though- “Tyler is cut off by your room door opening to reveal a stoic looking Wednesday Addams. 

“Leave us Tyler.” Wednesday demands not taking her eyes off you. 

“I mean it’s not like I was here first or anything, but sure I’ll leave. I’ll come back right after my shift, okay y/n? Text me until then. “Tyler hugs you and waves bye too Wednesday as he closes your door.

“Hello Wednesday, fancy seeing you here. How ya been?’ You joke trying to take some of the tension out of the air. Wednesday doesn’t say anything she just stares at you and then moves to take the chair Tyler was previously sitting in.

“As much as I enjoy hospitals and the pain they bring people, I would much rather not see you inside its walls.” Wednesday States as she pulls a black dahlia stuffed figure from her purse and throws it on your bed. “Tyler said sick people like gifts, so there.” 

“Well thanks, considering you think I’m a nuisance and all.” You mumble and pick up the stuffed flower 

“That is what I wanted to explain. I can’t bring myself to say the words, so I wrote it down. Please read this.” she demands as she hands you a letter looks like it was written on an old timely typewriter. ” I’ll wait here for you to finish it. “

“Okay then.” You begin to read the letter: y/n, when I called you a nuisance, it is not what I actually meant. I find you very nice to look at and sitting with you was not terrible. You are not abysmal at crowd control and make a very good espresso. You also called me pretty, which no one has ever done, I didn’t hate it, your smile made me blush and that has never happened either. You make me feel sick in the best way possible. Please forgive me for the way I spoke of you to Tyler. Also, if you ever show anyone this, I will deny it and have to kill you. Regretfully, Wednesday Addams.

You glance up at Wednesday and see her eyes coldly staring at you waiting for a response.

“You have to buy me an iced coffee every time I see you for the next two weeks. Only then will I forgive you” you say as you smile up at her.

 “I suppose that’s fine.”  she agrees.

“Now that, that is out of the way! What the hell happened last night and what was that thing?” you question.

“I think it would be best if you stayed out of it and stayed out of the woods. Also, don’t chase after anymore random boys going into a dark forest alone.” Wednesday says as she starts to stand up. 

"Wednesday, nice try but not even someone as cute as you can keep me from the truth.” You smugly state. “I guess I’ll have to figure it out on my own. “

“This isn’t a joke y/n. You could get hurt if you go searching for answers alone.”

“Guess you’ll have to let me help then. Plus, the sheriff and my mom are friends and the coroner’s office is here in the basement if you haven’t noticed.”.

“This isn’t some Nancy drew situation. That kid Rowan is dead even if no one believes me.  The monster destroyed him. You could have already been killed by him. Do you not understand that?” Wednesday begins to raise her voice just the slightest as you sit up in bed more and look her directly in the eyes. 

“You may be used to people not caring about what you do or the dangers of it, but I was there to. I am fully aware of what could have happened.

Your intense stare off with Wednesday is interrupted by your mother walking in the room with the medicine for your head.

“Hello dear you must be Wednesday; Tyler told me you had been stopping by to see our y/n.” 

She walks over and inserts a syringe into your I.V. as she looks back and forth between you and Wednesdays heated stares. “Am I interrupting something?" your mother asks awkwardly.

“No, you weren’t I was just leaving. I must get ready and meet Enid for the Poe Cup.” Wednesday abruptly stands and walks to the door turning back to you. “I will use Enid’s phone and text you; this conversation is not over.” Walking out without another word. 

“Well, she’s just a delight.” Your mother chuckles and runs a hand over your forehead and into your hair

“Laugh all you want mother; I’m going to marry that girl.” You smirk as you feel the drowsiness from the medication taking over.” Gonna marry her mom, just you watch.” 

Your mother laughs at you and presses a kiss to your forehead watching you drift off to sleep. “Whatever you say sweet girl, whatever you say.” 

You wake up a few hours later to two voices arguing back and forth you immediately recognize one as your mothers and the other as Sheriff Galpin’s. 

“I don’t care if you’re the sheriff. You’re not taking to her until she has no medication in her system, and she’s discharged! “ 

“I need to corroborate the Addams girl’s story. The sooner I do that, the closer we can get to finding some answers.” 

“And you can get those answers when she has no narcotics in her system.” 

“Fine. I’ll wait. But the second she’s clear, I’m talking to her.”

“That’s fine. But don’t you dare ask Tyler to get information out of her or so help me, it won’t be some bear that’ll be your problem; it’ll be me.” 

You hear your door being pushed all the way open and lean up to see your mother walking through.

“How are you feeling sweet girl?” She asks as she grabs you another glass of water and a straw.

“I feel better, the pain is more of a dull ache, not as bad as it was earlier.” You smile and take the water from her. “Was that Tyler’s dad you were arguing with?” you ask.

“I was hoping you didn’t hear that, but yes. He’s being a real pain about talking to you. You need your rest before talking to anyone about what happened. If you want to tell me about it, that’s fine. But that stays between us. I don’t care how friendly me, and the sheriff are.” 

“Thank you, I still don’t even know how to process everything, let alone try and remember it all.” You sigh and start to try and move. “When do you think they’re going to let me out of here?”

“If you’re feeling fine, we can head home once the discharge papers are ready. You don’t have a concussion or anything, you’re only here because I insisted. Let me go see if I can find a nurse. I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you, mom.”

“You’re welcome sweet girl.” She gives you another kiss on the forehead as you feel your phone begin vibrating. Looking down you see a text from Tyler

Best Coffee Maker in the World: How much longer they keeping you hostage? Work sucks without you here. I’m so bored.

Y/n: I get to leave once the papers are readyyyyyyy. Come to my house when you’re off, not the hospital lol. 

Best Coffee Maker in the World: Okayyy. Gonna need to know how the talk with Wednesday went. I’ll bring snacks! 

You read Tyler’s last message to you and start getting your stuff ready to leave, picking up the stuffed black dahlia from Wednesday and bringing it closer to you, cuddling it to your chest and smiling you wonder how the Poe cup is currently going  

Finally, back at home, you’re relaxing when Tyler walks in the open doorway

“Glad to see you home how is your head feeling? Tyler asks as he makes his way to your chair.

“Head feels fine just want to curl up in a ball under my blanket though” you laugh and get under the covers  

“So now did your talk with Wednesday go?” 

“Good, for her I suppose. I do however think she is going to learn the hard way that I don’t listen well to being told what to do. “You smirk.

‘Okay then ma’am only one of you is allowed to look like a killer and that smile is giving off major serial killer vibes. So, tone it down you weirdo.” Tyler laughs as he hits you gently with a pillow. 

You were about to tell Tyler bout Wednesday’s letter when you feel your phone ring and unknown number comes up. You answer and are surprised to hear Wednesday on the other end. 

“Meet me at the gates of Nevermore at 8pm sharp. Don’t be late “

The line went dead right after, and you look at Tyler to make sure you didn’t just imagine the phone call.

“You heard her as well, correct?” 

‘’Yes y/n, I heard her as well. So, is this a date? A friendly meet up? Did she say anything else?” He questions.

“Tyler... you heard the same things I did. Does it sound like she asked anything else?” You reply rhetorically and roll your eyes.

“Okay, geeze, you’re so testy sometimes.” He moans. “I’m heading out, tell me how tonight goes. If I don’t see you at work tomorrow, I’ll see you the following day. Okay?” He hugs you and walks out of the room,

You decide to go downstairs and make some food to pass the time until you had to leave and go to Nevermore. Heating up some leftovers from your mom you contemplate what Wednesday has in store for the both of you. Thirty minutes before you need to leave you change into some black leggings and a black cable knit sweater that way you can still be comfortable. 

Debating on what to shoes to wear, you settle on black doc martens to truly complete the all black look that you hope would make Wednesday Addams proud. You notice that it is time to leave, you leave a note on the counter for your mother as well as send her a text letting her know that you were going to see Wednesday. The drive to school is uneventful and you arrive at 7:55p.m. You pull to the side of the gate and put the car in park looking around to see if you can locate Wednesday anywhere. Suddenly, the passenger door opens and Wednesday hops in.  

“Thank you for coming. I think I found something useful. That night in the woods... Rowan showed me this photo his mother drew 25 years ago before she died.” Wednesday unfolds the photo and shows you a drawing of herself. “Apparently she told him that if this girl ever showed up at Nevermore, she would be its demise, that he needed to kill her.” 

“So, you think that you’re the demise of Nevermore?” You quietly ask as Wednesday stares out the front window.

“I’m not sure, but there’s a watermark on the photo that is related to an old secret society, The Nightshades. Mrs. Thornhill says they were disbanded, but I think I know where their library is.” 

“And you called me because?” 

“You said I couldn’t keep you from the truth, and two pairs of eyes is better than one. So, let’s go. We don’t have all night.” Wednesday states as she begins to get out of the car. 

“Yes ma’am.” You grumble and follow her.

You both make your way through the dark halls coming upon a statue of Edgar Allan Poe. There is a book at the base of the statue with 10 weird sentences. You look over them before speaking aloud. 

“They’re riddles. Each line. 

The opposite of Moon – Sun

A world between Ours – Nether

Two months before June- April 

A Self Seeding Flower- Pansy

One more than one- Two 

It’s leaves weep to the ground- Willow

It melts in the sun- Ice 

It’s beginning and end never found- Circle

Ever Rule has one- Exception.

The answer will give a sharp cracking sound. ‘’ you say as Wednesday is writing down each answer.

“Snap Twice” Wednesday snaps twice and the statue shifts, revealing a staircase. You both head down into what seems to be a large room lined with rows of books, photos on all the walls of young-looking students. You notice Wednesday stopping and staring at one photo in particular. The names on it are Mortician Frump and Gomez Addams. You put two and two together realizing that they are her parents.

“Did you know that they were a part of The Nightshades?” You ask as you see her looking at some of the books.

“No.” She answers coldly, you see her stick a book under her jacket before you feel fabric being placed over your head. You scream for Wednesday as you are placed in a chair and ropes are tied around your wrists. You hear Wednesday speaking with someone she calls Bianca before the cloth bag is removed from your head. 

“What the hell is going on and why was I just kidnapped?!” You scream at the group around you. You look at Wednesday who seems to be cool as a cucumber.

“Really Wednesday, a normie?” The girl you assume to be Bianca says.

“Just untie us and let us go. I don’t even go here; I could care less. I’m here for Wednesday, I don’t even know any of you. Well, besides tall, dark, and broody over there.” Nodding towards Xavier. “I don’t go to the normie school, I’m homeschooled. So, there is literally no one for me to tell.”

“We could always initiate Wednesday.” Xavier says as he stands behind both you and Wednesday. 

“I would rather die. Xavier, untie Y/n. Now.” Wednesday reveals that her wrists have been unbound for the last 5 minutes while Xavier undoes your ropes. Wednesday grabs your hand and makes her way to the stairs before turning around and scowling at the group “It’s people like you who give kidnapping a bad name.” Wednesday pulls you up the stairs not once letting go of your hand. You can feel the blush starting to spread across your face from the simple act of hand holding so you keep your head down and let Wednesday take the lead. 

“Well, that was fun.’’ Wednesday states as you both make it back to your car.

“It kind of was. Also, I saw you steal that book. I expect more information tomorrow while you’re buying me coffee.” You laugh as you go to open the car door. You notice Wednesday look hesitant as she still has a hold of your hand. 

“I’ve never held someone’s hand before. I don’t hate holding yours.”

“Well, that’s good to know.” You joke.

“This was a date if you didn’t know, it went quite well. I will be leaving you now. I need to complete my writing time. Goodbye y/n. I will see you tomorrow.” Wednesday lets go of your hand and immediately walks away leaving you dumbfounded. You get in the car and start it, heading back home thinking about the way her hand felt in yours. You arrive home to an empty house, your mother still a work. Heading to bed you receive a text from what you now know is Enid’s phone number wishing you goodnight. You can’t wait to tell Tyler about this tomorrow at work. 

Getting to work, you and Tyler talk before the Nevermore kids come for outreach day. You tell him everything that happened last night from the kidnapping, to the holding hands, and what Wednesday said to you. Tyler looks up at you smiling

“You do realize that you’re now dating THE Wednesday Addams, correct?”

Taglist: @deadpool-in-a-snood @wednesdayiswoe @lixeira @laurenmusic17 @antilost @donnabenevientosbitch @greygsworld @yukiunoo @dumb-ass2 @athenablack1959 @futurepiratekingluffy @cupiocalamity

[yuraslefttoe]

hey, it's me again! I came to pester you with questions!! *there should be a scary laugh, but it sounds more like mean giggles*

(by the way, I’m thinking about sending you such long texts with questions (because I have a lot of them!!) once one or two weeks, if you don’t mind. . . . . . .you don't mind..??? (god, I hope you don’t get tired of me..!) I'm so sorry, please, I'm just very interested!! *qwq*)

ok, let's start with the sweetest part, prelude. ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT YOU REPLY SO QUICKLY, GOD, NOT PASSED A FEW HOURS!!!!!! I THOUGHT YOU HAD TOO MANY QUESTIONS SO I DID NOT EXPECT A SO SOON REPLY!!

I’ll remind you once again how much I adore your work (after all, you deserve it!!), and I’ll also say that I specifically shouldn’t talk about posts tagged with the  adm, because I’ve read your tumblr and twitter in its entirety several times, I even have a separate album in my gallery with answers that particularly interested me, there are several hundred screenshots there and I don’t regret anything! (sorry if my hyperfixation may be intimidating!!)

*=^._.^= ∫*

and now the questions!!!! 

1. my wife doesn’t have a tumblr, but her suggestion interested me and can be seen in the first two screenshots(the translation sounds like: “after the release of “red hour” I have an assumption that andrey is more... athletic than misha. either this is because of ferry’s drawing style, or he really has such wide shoulders")so now we are interested to know about the physique of your characters!! maybe some of them are thin, or vice versa, a little overweight. and what about physical training? did you have any headcanons for this??? ( by the way, when I ask about “characters” I mean not only misha and andrey, but also europe and maya, because they are also worthy of attention <зз) 

2. what about the abbreviation "dyusha" for andrey? in russian it is... not used very often, but still, it sounds very cute. so it would be interesting to know how you would feel about this? 3. I also want to hear about the names of the characters!! how did you choose them? I mean........ how did it happen that from ☺europa☺ you switched to 👹MiKhAiL👹?? (I'M SO SORRY, BUT MISHA'S FULL NAME SOUNDS SOMETHING THREATENING. MY UNCLE'S DOG HAS THE SAME NAME EHE- *ᕕ(ಥ▽ಥ)ᕗ*) 

4. and lastly, let's return to my wife for another moment. she suggested that andrey was now also in a time loop. what do you say about that? and also in enigma, she noticed that misha seemed to be addressing the second person in the lines: "and if you wanted to be anything more than just free" and "you’ve seen a hundred lies I see that all the time". is this second person a viewer? or maybe one of the previously mentioned characters??

the last photo, by the way, is one of the sketches that I found so far in my gallery! ^^ 

initially it was planned to attach two sketches, but andrey turned out TOO bad, I’m ashamed to show him. someday I'll redraw it into something normal.... maybe. but! I really like the pic with misha and the wolf(I hope this is the wolf you were talking about lol. google didn’t show me anything else, and I’ve never been to ikea myself, ehe...) 

(and I don’t want to post all this yet, because running a tumblr was certainly not part of my plans, haha)) I registered here solely to read your blog, and not to maintain my own) 

sorry again for possible illiteracy, and also for the chaotic nature of my thoughts, haha, I don’t know how to adequately express them in english.. and also, I’m really REALLY apologize that the text was too long, next time I’ll try to be shorter...

okay im gonna try and answer everything here in a coherent way so sorry if nothing makes sense

im just fine with lotes of questions :) answering asks and responding to comments is one of my favorite things ever and i brings a verry big smile to my face

on andrei: i consider him to be a skinny little gut but not exactly unathletic, and in addition i think he would have basic combat training and probably be good with firearms. misha is probably a very average bodytype, nothing special, not particularly athletic.

i do not speak russian (though ferry has recently encouraged me to learn so maybe in like four years ill be able to form a sentence) so i dont know anything about the short forms so you can do whatever you want. if you coin it and peoples tart calling him that i will not stop it from happening

i do not name my characters, i usually let me friends name them (i think that the only one i named was europa and his partner). going forward maybe ill try to make it more cohesive

the time loop idea im seeing thrown around alot is really cool and while i havent particularly wrote any of my songs about that in general i see it fitting into the loose narrative i have going on. also in enigma misha is definitely talking to andrei whenever he says the word "you" but it could also be to the listener because the entire theme of enigma is 4th wall breaking and meta shenanigans like that

that sketch is SO CUTE oh my god

[lemonyko0]

Want It All - Part 2

change comes in many forms. for jungkook, it's flowers, love notes, and chocolate. for you, it's the slow realization that perhaps you don't hate him the way you say you do.

» genre: fluff, angst, enemies to lovers fr!

» wc: 14k :)

Part 1 | Part 2

much to your dismay, you learn what it’s like to say no to jeon jungkook.

but not in the way you already knew. he texted nonstop. never called, he wanted it to be one-sided. he didn’t want you to think you had to reply to him until you wanted to. he left gifts for you, and your cat, which he found you were hiding in your apartment despite not being allowed to have pets.

he wrote you notes and would leave them in all kinds of places. you’d find them in school, in your desk, on your work-computer, all places you figured were easy for him to have access to. then it was your daily barista telling you a man already paid for your drink, and asked to hand you this note (then she told you your boyfriend was cute..). even sooyung was approached by him to ask about leaving a few in your apartment, and offered to hand deliver them if she was uncomfortable with doing that. she agreed to do it, but was sure to let you catch her the first time so you wouldn’t worry how he was getting them inside. (even though his note mentioned this as well, you were surprised at the lengths he’d gone to).

“really y/n, he’s doing a whollleee lot to get on your good side.”

you hummed, “yeah, i’ve noticed.”

she examines you, “then why haven’t you replied to him?”

you sigh, “i really don’t know what to do.” she looks at you and you continue, “i’m torn between wanting to tear him limb from limb because of what he did and how he’s treated me, but at the same time, if he hadn’t really changed, then why go through all these hoops to make me forgive him?” she nods. “i just, i don’t want to look like the fool again for forgiving him when he snaps out of it.”

“maybe he’s actually getting his shit together?”

you frown, “unlikely. he probably just wants back on my good side so we can continue the plan.”

she ticks her head to the side, “and? what’s wrong with that?” she chuckles, “do you want something more from him?”

you can’t rationalize why you decide to text jungkook the next morning. you hate him, that much you knew. but you were curious to know what he wanted from you. only then, you thought, could you have your closure.

he’s in the small coffee shop before you are. he flags you down, “i ordered for you, hope you don’t mind. if you don’t want it i’ll get you something else.” you look down, not surprised he remembered your drink seeing as he asked or noticed when he told the barista last time. “I’m glad you answered me, and again, i’m sorry.”

“i still don’t know if i can forgive you, but at the very least, i think we should pick up where we left off.”

he nods, “okay, you mean being friends or with the plan?”

“with the plan. lord knows trying to befriend you is a bigger waste of time than politics.”

he looks offended for a second but doesn’t comment on it. “okay, sounds fair. so, what should our next date be then?”

you hum, “what about taehyung, did you ever get back to him?”

he nods, “oh yeah! just recently, though. we’ve hung out twice one-on-one since i told him you’d been busy with work, then sick, i was running out of excuses until he told me, him and minji broke up.”

you look at him, “they broke up?” he nods, “... did he say how that went?”

he laughs, “clearly not well, or, maybe well, they’re back together now, i think.”

you chuckle, “yeah, sounds like minji.”

you spend the rest of the hour discussing plans with jungkook and waiting for taehyung to agree to it. you sit back in the cozy booth, god you love coffee shops. the place wasn’t as busy as it normally was. you’ve been here long enough to watch it move from its peak to it’s calmest.

“taehyung and minji are in.” jungkook says, pulling your attention back to him.

you nod, “okay sounds good.”

jungkook picks you up at nine that night, rather late to be bowling, but you soon realize bowling is second entertainment to drinking and socializing, to these people.

when you got there people were loosely playing, and more focused on conversation.

jungkook was not one of these people. “hope you’re not all talk kook, it’d be a shame to lose in front of not one but two, pretty ladies.”

you bare a grin towards taehyung and minji takes a seat in the half-lounge, “oh taehyung, stop it.”

he kisses her cheek then asks, “8’s for both of you?” you both nod but minji bats her eyes, “yes please!” and sends them both on their way. you sit on the other side of her, leaving three seats between you and she chuckles, “do you think i’ll bite?”

you laugh, “no, but i do.”

she finds both amusement and slight offense to you, “come on y/n, lighten up a bit. we’re just bowling.”

“so you weren’t purposefully staring me down at the bar? shit intimidation tactic, i’ll tell you.”

she guffaws sarcastically, “intimidation? why would i be trying to intimidate you?” you simply look at her as if you’re uninterested in her, “i really liked the skirt you were wearing. couldn’t help but remember how much jungkook likes skirts,” she scoots two seats closer and leans over the last, “always told me it was easy access.” you scoff at her audacity, and applaud yourself for seeing through her from the beginning, “no shame from me though! i clearly get the enticement.” she looks around, the boys are busy at the bar, ordering food and drinks, “if it was anyone else, i’d probably try to scare you off. tell you if i simply asked, i’d have him back.”

“doubt that.”

she laughs, “but i won’t, because jungkook isn’t worth it.”

your brows furrow. you hadn’t been even the slightest bit offended at anything she’d said so far, but that, that one stirred you. “what do you mean?”

she shrugs, “don’t get me wrong, he’s as close to perfect a girl could get, but c’mon, he’s a troubled guy. he’s privileged, yeah, but his dad isn’t wanting to give him the company. that pretty much depletes his value to girls like us. good for a fuck though! that's for damn sure.” she laughs.

you look at her absolutely disgusted, “god, you’re a terrible person.”

she just grins, “taehyung is the whole package. so consider jungkook, my gift to you.”

you roll your eyes, “just leave us alone and all will be well.”

“oh y/n, you’re as funny as ever.” she giggles as the boys return to your table.

jungkook hands you a drink and slides into the seat beside you, “they weren’t serving tequila so i got the next best thing.”

you sipped what he handed you and looked at him, recognizing the familiar taste, “did you make me this at your place?” he nods with a large grin, “oh yeah, i really liked this one.” you place the drink on the small table, “i have to say though,” you place your hand on his leg and stare up at him dreamily, “your’s was much better.”

he stares back at you then leans down to your ear, “i’m going to kiss you.” then as promised, his lips meet yours and his hand ghosts along your jaw.

it was a sickeningly sweet kiss, and the act doesn’t stop when your kiss ends. you have to keep this act up the entire night.

“okay, ladies first?” taehyung says. “y/n, minji? either of you want to go first?”

“oh! i will!” minji jumps up, her mini skirt moving with her legs, an outfit all too inappropriate for bowling. suddenly you remember what she said about jungkook liking skirts. you hold back the disgusted face you make as you watch minji take her first turn “awe, only two?” she pouts, grabbing her ball and re-trying, only to hit three total.

“it's okay baby, you’re just warming up.” taehyung tells her, throwing an arm around her and nuzzling into her side.

“your turn then baby.” jungkook smiles at you and you nod, picking up the ball with your entire hand, then examining it, you see the three holes but you’re still unsure so you turn to jungkook, “how do i hold this?”

he looks at you perplexed, “how do you hold, a bowling ball?” he asks, you nod. he chuckles and stands to help you, easily taking the weighted ball from your hands and turning it to demonstrate for you, “you put three fingers in like this.” he says, “i can’t, because my fingers would probably get stuck.”

he hands the ball back to you and you giggle, taking it into your hands and holding it just as he did, “haha, dirty.”

you hear him laugh behind you, “did you say that’s dirty?” you nod with a grin and he continues to chuckle, “dirty mind.” he places a hand on your back and directs you to the wooded area. “ideally, you’re gonna walk about two steps, then swing the ball back, then fourth, then let go, and ONLY let go when the ball is in front of you.”

“only let go when it’s aimed at the pins, okay.” you put yourself in a position that feels rather unnatural and jungkook sighs behind you, putting his hands around you to direct you, “relax.” he says, beside your ear. he steps away and demonstrates what he’s telling you and you copy him. “good.” he grins, “now try it.”

you take a deep breath and try to do it just as well as he showed you, but you roll yourself a loudly bouncing straight-to-the-gutter ball. you turn and pout to jungkook who’s smiling like you hit a strike on your first go. “don’t worry baby, you get one more try.”

you take the ball and do the same thing, and get the same results. you slouch back beside jungkook with a sour face, “this game sucks, no wonder i’ve never played.”

he laughs and sits up, “well, hopefully you learn by watching.” jungkook takes the ball he picked out, naturally grabbing it and walking up to the row before performing exquisite technique. he almost earns himself a spare his first turn, only missing one after splitting the first time.

you celebrate his early lead and grab his hand when he sits down. this role is actually starting to be fun. you feel like a different person, like a character. taehyung gets up to take his two turns and minji scoots over to the two of you.

“so y/n, i heard you didn’t get picked for the internship with mr.kim,” she starts, much to both you and jungkook’s dismay, “where did you end up?” she asks, no doubt she’s only asking because she thinks you had to settle for something below your level. “or better yet, who got it, if not you?”

she grins but your expression remains upbeat. “oh, funny story actually!” you direct jungkook’s hand onto your own lap and her eyes follow before going back to yours, “jungkook actually got it, who would’ve thought right? not you, surely.”

her expression changes but she keeps the fake smile, “oh really? that's great! congrats jungkook.” she grins to him. “so, if he got it, where did you end up?”

“oh! at his fathers company.” i tell her, watching in the utmost amusement as her face drops, making her completely readable.

“his dads company? but, they don’t even accept students, do they?”

you nod, “you’re right, they don’t. but they made an exception for me.” you smile achingly at her and she leans back in her seat. “clearly i made a great enough impression on his dad, he even introduced jungkook and i.” you lean into your ‘boyfriend’ when you mention him. you’re sure by his silence he’s probably shitting bricks about this conversation. you don’t blame him.

“wow!” she says, “well,” she grabs her drink, “cheers to the both of you and your success.”

“cheers to that.” you clink your glass against hers and take a sip.

“minji! you’re up!”

you look to jungkook who looks back at you with a small smile. you chuckle, “i handled that pretty well.”

he nods, “very well, i would have probably stuttered at least a little bit. she is intimidating.”

you hum, “yeah, you obviously have a type.”

he frowns at you, “what-”

“my turn again! i think i’m gonna bowl with my other hand.”

“your other hand? are you ambidextrous?” taehyung laughs, drink in hand and minji in lap.

you shrug, “maybe! i can’t get worse, it’s worth a try.”

you take your turn with your other hand and it goes much better than the last, you even manage to hit a few pins. “woo!” you put your hands in the air when you manage to knock down over half. “hell yeah!” you celebrate, double high-fiving jungkook as you sit down and switch out spots.

the rest of the night goes on much smoother than the beginning. you even think you may enjoy bowling, that is, if you continue to be good at it. because what's the fun in it when you’re not? you walk away a winner in more ways in one, not only was it an objectively great night of socializing, drinking, and jungkook winning, but you also silenced minji.

after her disgusting performance and rant about jungkook, you were more than glad to mention he was awarded mr. kim’s spot (knowing it was a strictly merit-based position, that his father couldn’t have known he was even considered for, because if his dad wanted him to intern big, he would simply take him on, and he didn’t.) and even better, that you accomplished the impossible. every girls dream, his father likes you enough to introduce you to his attractive, soon-to-replace-me son. your future is a given with these circumstances and she knows it.

your only mistake was believing she would wallow in her own defeat.

as the boys were talking and bidding their goodbyes, you checked your phone, not interested in conversing with minji anymore, but she had other plans.

“hey, y/n.”

you pause and look at her, “yeah..?”

she grins, “you know, what i said back there.” she smirks, biting her lip and looking down at your feet, “that i’d be kind enough to give him to you?”

you nod and chuckle, “let me guess, want him back now?”

she grins, “no.” you raise your brows, “want you to break up with him, as soon as possible.”

you laugh, “why on earth would i do that?”

she shrugs, “the choice is yours. give him up and spare your heart and reputation, or wait until he leaves you for me.” she says snarkily, you hold back a fit of laughs at the premise of it all. “i’m being nice, even letting you know ahead of time and not just doing what i want.”

you hum, “okay, minji.” she grins, “really?”

“for the small price of a million dollars.” you joke, her face drops.

“a million? really? i mean, it's a bit steep sure-”

“it was a joke, minji.” you tell her, temporarily forgetting who you were dealing with. that’s probably not even a fraction of what she has in her trust fund. “i’m not pimping out my boyfriend nor listening to your empty threats. get a life.”

she huffs and you almost think she’ll throw a tantrum as you walk away from her and cozy up next to jungkook, who is deep in conversation with taehyung about some niche video game. its a true shame he ended up with minji, he seems like a really great guy.

jungkook wraps his arms around you and lets taehyung finish his sentence before looking down at you, “well we should probably get going before she drags me off.” they laugh, “we should totally do this again sometime!”

you close the car door immediately and let your head fall back with a loud, exaggerated, sigh.

jungkook looks at you and chuckles, starting the car, “that bad? really?”

you look to him, “oh, no, we did great, it’s just fucking minji.” you groan and he laughs.

“yeah i may have forgotten how terrible she was.”

“she threatened me to break up with you.”

he stops the car from moving, having just begun backing out and looks at you, “she did what?”

you look at him shocked, “yeah, she said i had two options: break up with you or she’ll ‘take you’” you say with air quotes and a giggle. “i mean, god it's funny but it's just so childish and annoying.”

he looks at you wordlessly before turning his attention back to driving. he remains speechless until you’re on the road, “i’m not sure what she’ll try to do, but rest assured when she realizes she can’t bribe or manipulate me, you, or my dad, she’ll give up.”

you think, “how do you know your dad won’t like the idea of you being with her rather than me?” his father liking you so much is a factor you were riding on for this plan to work, you definitely didn’t need minji meddling to change that.

he shakes his head, “i can’t believe you’d even ask that.”

you frown, “well she comes from a good family, i don’t.”

he shakes his head, “my mom didn’t either. she humbled him, grounded him. he likes the idea that i would fall in love the same way he did.” he looks at you for a moment, “he wants me to have the life he had, before my mom left.” you realize now you’ve never questioned the different last names between him and his father.

“so is it your mother’s last name you have?” he nods calmly. “why not your fathers?”

he looks at you, “it was my decision.” he shakes his head, “it’s not important though.” you watch him start the car, “but that’s why being with you really makes that much of a difference. the more like-him i act, the closer i get.” he grins widely, “and i have to say, i’ve been working on myself a lot lately, and i think i’m doing really well. i think he’s finally happy with me.”

jungkook’s positive attitude is comforting, but you’re still weary of how much of a ‘changed man’ he really is.

it's easy to be someone else for a little while, you thought.

two weeks pass and you and jungkook see each other three more times. you were growing too busy as the week went on to promise him any weekend plans. jungkook said he understood though, and left it at that.

or so, you thought he left it.

you were grabbing a snack for you and your coworker in the break room when a younger, newer girl with rimmed glasses poked her head in, “y/n, right?” you nod and she grins, “uh, there’s someone waiting for you at your station.” her cheeks were flushed and you began to panic thinking what could this possibly be.

the elevator feels infinitely slow to reach your floor and when the door dings you look over to your small assigned desk, to see just about every female, and male, coworker lined up, and the main attraction? jungkook, of course.

you grit your teeth and approach him, “jungkook! whatareyoudoinghere.”

he smiles sweetly at you, “just visiting.” he pulls a small bouquet out from behind his back, “and i come bearing gifts.”

everyone swoons and you are deeply annoyed but don’t dare show it. “oh wow, they’re so cute!” you tell him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“you guys throwing a party without me?” a louder, familiar voice asks, everyone parts ways for mr.lee, who looks equally as surprised to see jungkook. “oh!” he says, looking between me and him, “so you’ll come to visit your girlfriend but not to visit your old man?” he grins, throwing an arm around jungkook and messing up his hair, “all comes with time, i suppose.” he grins at him, “alright, back to your stations.” he says lightheartedly.

after the small crowd dissipates he looks back to us, “glad to see you here, even if it’s for personal reasons.” mr.lee tells him.

“actually, i came for both. you just found me the same time she did.” he tells him. “i’d actually really enjoy it if you could show me around, now that you’re almost done with renovations and improvements, yeah?” jungkook leads his dad in the opposite direction to tour him, which he does with the utmost glee and jungkook looks back smiling, sending you a wink. as annoying as it was, you suppose you could stomach the embarrassment if it was for this.

after they’re plenty gone, the questions begin to pour in. it all started with the married woman beside you, “are you actually dating mr. lee’s son?”

“how long have you been together?”

“how did you meet?”

“what’s he like?”

“is that how you convinced mr. lee to give you a spot here, even as a student?”

that was the question you were anticipating. was it rude and presumptuous? yes. would you have assumed the same? also yes.

you smile sweetly, answering a few basic questions, “we’ve been together for around two months.” “mr. lee introduced us at the charity event.” “he is sweet and charming, clearly!” “we met after i started my internship here.” “i would appreciate you all respecting my privacy, i’m afraid i’m not very comfortable answering any more questions about my personal life.”

the day ends with you finishing a reasonable amount of work. you wanted to do more, but jungkook’s stunt created a rather large bump in the road.

“you ready to go?”

about an hour and a half past shift, with little to no one left, he asks.

“are you finished?” you ask him, he nods. “okay, let’s go.”

jungkook notices the way you avoid being near him and how you answer his questions with single words. you don’t even argue with him for the aux, so decides to ask. “y/n?” you hum, “are you alright?” you look at him, you hadn’t expected him to pick up on it or care enough to point it out. “did i make you mad again?” he sighs.

you furrow your brows, “not really, no.” you tell him, “honestly, it’s not your fault.”

he frowns, “what's not my fault? you know i’m trying to change right? you can tell me when i screw up. it’ll probably happen a good amount.” he chuckles.

you shake your head, “no, jungkook, you are doing fine. great, even. seems like your dad is starting to notice.”

“are you noticing?”

you look to him but he doesn’t look back, “i guess. it’s good you’re finally getting your life together. i get that this may not have been an easy thing to do, but it's going to take even more effort to maintain it.”

he nods, “i know, so, what is it that's got your panties in a twist, and not in a good way?” he grins, he is still jungkook, i suppose.

you shake your head, “it’s nothing really, don’t worry.”

he scowls, “but you said it was something i did, shouldn’t i know what i did?”

“i shouldn’t be upset. that's the issue. it has less to do with you and more my distaste for people being in my business.”

he nods silently. “so you didn’t like me surprising you.”

you shrug, “from a strategic standpoint that was the smartest thing you’ve done.” you chuckle, “i just hate how people think you owe them information on your lovelife. fake or not.”

you’re just ranting now. this had little to do with jungkook, considering he only did it for his dad to see.

he smiles, “i get where you’re coming from. if i had a real girlfriend, i think i would want to keep her away from the public eye. i know that’s likely impossible, but i also don’t like people feeling entitled to my personal life.” you laugh at the connection he fails to make. you were the type of guy to do that mere months ago. but whatever. “oh, and, my dad really took well to that stunt, so your temporary embarrassment, highly paid off.” he holds up an “ok” sign and grins.

“glad to hear. so things are working well then?”

he nods, “oh yeah, definitely. they’re already asking me when i’m going to start bringing you around.”

“bringing me around where?”

“well, as my dates to events and stuff, dinners my dad hosts, or even just our family dinner. yejun just wants to talk your ear off, she’s already driven my dad crazy asking about you.” this is your first time hearing his dad’s wife’s name, you figured she was likely too tipsy to properly introduce herself when you first met.

“does she ask you?” he nods, “and…? what do you tell her?”

“i tell her if i know the answer, if i don’t i just tell her she’ll have to ask you when she sees you again.”

you sigh, this fake relationship stuff is becoming more emotionally taxing than you bargained for. “just, let me know whenever that time comes. i don’t have any preference. as long as it’s a believable timeline.”

“a believable timeline?”

you nod, “yeah? how long had you been dating your last girlfriend before she met your parents.”

he pauses, pulling onto my street. “i’ve never.”

you look at him. he looks at you. you break first, and his laughter follows. “okay, okay, just, whenever is fine then.”

you know what you told jungkook. he said he wouldn’t see anyone other than you during the duration of your fake relationship, and you comprehended how hard that must have been. and you also understand that you loosely agreed. this was a time when jeon jungkook was as much “romance” as you had in your life. you didn’t see the point in seriously dating in school. not when half the student body moves away and you’re split between two-worlds. it just wasn’t obtainable.

you always told yourself you’d keep an open-mind though. you’d surely make an exception for the right one.

you also didn’t consider that the guy in your study group that you had been eyeing, would actually ask you out on a date.

so there you stood, literature classics in hand, in the library, putting himself so viantly on the line and at your mercy. how the hell are you supposed to respond. you know you should say no, out of respect. but you also know it must have taken him a great deal of courage to do what he’s doing. he’s quiet, introverted, and doesn’t seem to make friends or socialize that well. you assume that’s the reason he’s single, and not for his lack of attractiveness.

because he was definitely easy on the eyes, dressed well, even smelled nice. the man just could not talk to women.

he scratched the back of his neck, “i-i’m so sorry for asking so suddenly, i know we don’t know each other that well, and please don’t feel obligated to say yes-”

“sure!” idiotidiotidiot.

“oh! really?” he visibly relaxes, “are you sure?”

“yeah, a study date sounds great!” he grins charmingly, you feel like melting, already picturing the life you could have, seeing that everyday. get a fucking grip.

“i’ll walk you out and we can talk about it?” he offers, you nod, walking side-by-side on campus.

it’s not terrible, what you’re doing. the only issue with going on a date with him is a) jungkook being upset you lied to him (which you feel you should be ranking low on the list, considering the massive amount of shit he’s put you through, but still, you feel guilty) and b) what are you supposed to tell this guy, if he were to find out.

you don’t have all the answers, but you assume they’ll come with time.

he invites you for a coffee on thursday and you don’t reject his offer. you get to know him a little, his story was bland, to say the least. some people are simply boring people. which makes his invite to a party all the more surprising.

you’re sitting beside him in one of the common rooms when a guy recognizes him, very excitedly giving him a “bro” hug. and asking him if he’ll see him (insert dramatic frat guy voice) at the party tomorrow night.

his eyes show the slightest bit of shock or, maybe nervousness? you weren’t sure why he reacted that way or why he took so long to reply to him. “uh, yeah! i think i’ll make an appearance.”

the other boy laughs, “uh, yeah, duh, you kind of have to.” he looks to me and i give him a grin, “oh shit! you’re on a date, my bad.” we both nod, “see you later!”

he sits back down and apologizes, “sorry, younger guys get so attached to me for some reason.”

“what did he mean by you kinda have to be at that party?”

he looks down, “uh, i’m really not sure.”

you raise your eyebrows, “then you wouldn’t mind if i came then, right?”

he looks at you shocked, “oh, really? you wanna go?” you nod. “oh, well, i guess i can ask for one more invite-”

“it’s an invite-only kind of thing?” he nods tentatively, “who has your invites then?”

you don’t want to come on too strong, but this whole thing wasn’t adding up and you knew it. not that you were suspecting foul play or anything, you really believed this guy to be harmless. you just figured there was something else he wasn’t telling you.

“well, i kind of owed a friend some money that i knew i couldn’t pay back so i gave my tickets to them in exchange.” you hum, unsure if you believe that story or not. you conclude it was plausible enough to believe, and you’re just being distrustful. “i-i can definitely ask for another though,” he grins at you, “i’m pretty sure they’d make an exception for a girl like you, so, consider yourself invited.”

the party was a week away and you declined your new interest, jihun’s, dinner invitation. you realized as much as you enjoyed his company, you really ought to slow down. which you were thankful for in the end, once jungkook called you friday night. “hello..”

“y/n! please tell me you’re free this saturday.”

you hum over the phone, “i could be for a few hours, i guess-”

“perfect! you’ll be attending some fancy banquet dinner with me. i really don’t know what it's for just that-” jungkook drones on about the most trivial details.

“jungkook.”

“.. yeah?”

“just tell me the dress code and when you’re going to pick me up.”

he chuckles and give you the information you needed. “i’m assuming it's fancy cocktail, do you have dresses for this or do we need to go shopping?” he asks, rather arrogantly.

“of course i have cocktail dresses jungkook.”

he hums, “so you won’t mind if i swing by to examine your wardrobe?”

you huff, “whatever helps you sleep at night jungkook.”

he sounds slightly testy when he responds, “sorry, i figured i’d spare you the embarrassment of being looked down on by snobby millionaires and offer to buy you a dress. so sorry! i’ll never do such a thing again-”

“okay i get it! just come around 7.”

“you got it boss.”

and jungkook was at your door at 6:52pm, dressed casually like he rolled out of bed, and you guess from his tired eyes and bed head he probably did. his hair, which you learned was usually styled, straightened, gelled, or a mix of the three was none of the above. he let his naturally outgrown brown curls rest atop his head and you temporarily wonder why in god's name he would ever change it to something else if he looks like that, naturally.

he furrows his brows at you when you take an unnatural amount of time to close the door, too busy admiring him. “did you forget i was coming?” he asks.

you quickly shake your head, “no, no! sorry, you just look different.”

he ticks his head, “different?” you hum, “different how?” you shrug, “different good?”

“oh, yeah.” he stands silent, making you continue your babbling, “i just haven’t seen you with your hair like that, i guess. or if i have, i haven't noticed.”

he runs his hands through his hair, “oh, my bad. i usually do it before i go out but i took a shower before i left.”

your female pheromones begin to work extra hard and you chalk it up to the absolute dry spell that has been since you slept with jungkook almost four months ago. any woman in your position would probably jump him, but you are stronger than that.

you also don’t even really like him as a person.

“the dresses are in the closet, probably on the top but i could be wrong.” you point towards your bedroom and he follows, he gets about two steps past your bed before his head snaps down to the floor.

you quickly notice his lack of attention and follow his eyes to the one and only.

“kitty! knock it off you mongrel.” you bend down to push his head back from attacking anymore ankles and he cries out dramatically.

when you stand again jungkook laughs, “i wondered where he was. no wonder they haven’t found that cat, by the time they do it’s too late.”

you chuckle, “yeah i took him off the streets and he just refused to leave the house so he’s mine now i guess.” jungkook nods and bends down, which you quickly warn him against looking for your cat, (who you’ve tried renaming but only responds to kitty, if he responds at all). “if you stick your head under the bed to look for him he will throw hands.”

jungkook takes your advice and instead tries to lure your cat out by tapping on the ground. he is only rewarded with swatting fists. “did you come just to play with my cat or did you want to dissect my wardrobe?”

he stops teasing the cat and pouts, “i bet your dresses are fine actually, this is much more entertaining.”

you sigh, reaching down to grab his hand and drag him up to his feet. “come on, he could do that all day.”

“will he come out?” jungkook asks, almost like an excited child. as soon as you make the connection you can’t help but ask, “did you have pets growing up?”

he pouts even further, “no.”

you grin, “if he doesn’t come out on his own i’ll see what i can do.” he lights up and you spin him around, “until then, tell me what i should wear.”

you sit back on your bed as jungkook pulls out every ‘maybe’ dress he can find in your closet and puts it on the chair. you’re checking your phone when you hear a quiet, low, “oh.”

you sit up on your bed and look at him, staring into your closet. “jungkook.”

“yeah..”

“did you find everything? what’s the verdict.”

he stares off for a second more, then glances at your dresses. he only pulled three which worries you. “these dresses are okay, but they won’t make an impression.” he says, reaching into your closet again and pulling out something that has your eyes widen and your mouth hanging open. he turns to you with a smirk, “but if you wear this underneath you’d certainly impress me.” you spring to your feet and try to take your lingerie out of his grimy hands and he does everything in his power to stop you from taking it. “stop chasing it! i’ll put it back!”

he does as promised then turns back to you, “oh you’re red, red.” you sigh. he laughs, “come on, what are you embarrassed for? that’s hot.”

you furrow your brows, “yeah, clearly, and not for your eyes!”

he scoffs, “what do you mean, ‘not for my eyes’ need i remind you once upon a time you did sleep with me?”

you sigh, “oh you mean when you used me? yeah remember that very vividly jungkook.”

the sex was great, you would never deny that. you had undeniable chemistry, and had you found him under different circumstances you were sure you’d have a lot of fun, but that wasn’t your reality. instead, he used sex as a means to get to you, as a trap.

he looks at you solemnly, “i’m sorry.” you nod. “i don’t know if i should say this, but i actually only slept with you because i wanted to. that was just a brightside to my terribly, mean plan to sabotage you.”

you look at him confused, “so you just did it because you wanted to?”

he nods, “i had an agenda, clearly, but I didn’t expect you to be as pretty as you were.” he laughs, his hand coming up to massage his neck, “i actually almost forgot and ditched the whole thing after i brought you back to my house.”

“but you didn’t.”

he nods, “but i didn’t.”

you lick your lips, “why?” he stares at you, “why didn’t you stop? and just leave it be?”

he shrugs, “i was, selfish and insecure. i didn’t think i was good enough to make it on my own. thought i had to manipulate my way through everything. your name is on the list of things i sacrificed in order to get here. i just count myself lucky that you were unlucky enough to come across me again.”

you realize you’ve been trying to hold onto this hatred for jungkook since that night, but deep down, for a reason you so badly wish you could explain, you don’t really hate him at all.

“you have no idea how bad i want to believe you jungkook.” you say. you want to say so much more. you want to give him a hug, because he seems like he needs it. you want to tell him he can stay as long as he wants and play with your cat and beat you in as many video games as he pleases but you just can’t. you don’t trust him, but you still pity him.

“you have no idea how much i wish you would.” he responds. your eyes stayed glued to the floor. letting the tension settle before speaking out, “uhm, so, do we need to go dress shopping tomorrow?”

he looks over to the small pile, “is that all you have?” you nod. “yeah, to be safe.”

he turns to show himself out and your cat, forever the instigator, runs out at him. jungkook stops in the doorway, staring at the cat. kitty stares back, wide-eyed. “i think we’re bonding.”

“i think he’s going to bite you.”

you were correct.

you pick up your aggravated feline, who is much calmer in your arms with your back turned to jungkook. “gosh, he’s like a guard dog.”

you cradle him like a baby, “i don’t think he likes men very much.” you turn back around to face jungkook and your cat buries himself in your arms at the sight of him. jungkook watches the cat in fascination and reaches a hand out to you, which your cat swats at him before he touches your skin.

“wow, good job, guard cat!” he stands up straight and you walk him to the door, “lock that thing out of your room when you have a guy over.” you smile at his lighthearted joke, “so, i’ll be here around 12 to take you shopping?”

he shakes his head to make his wavy layered hair fall away from his face. “uh, yeah, sounds good-”

knock knock knock.

you look at the door behind jungkook, he turns his head from the door, to you. “you expecting someone?”

you shake your head, “no. could be sooyung.” you shrug, “but she would’ve texted me.” you check over your notifications but see nothing. you walk to the door and open it, and your skin begins to heat. oh fuck.

“hi! y/n.” you do the quickest thing you can think of to prevent this from getting worse, which is suspiciously closing the door behind you, leaving you and jihun outside your door and jungkook on the other side, disoriented with a cat that wants to fight him.

“jihun! wow, you didn’t say you were coming over-” come to think of it, how did he know which campus apartment was yours?

“oh, don’t worry about it. i just figured if we couldn’t see each other this weekend then i could at least give you these.” he hands you a bouquet. “so maybe you won’t forget about me.” he says with a grin.

your mind is racing, you feel indifferent. you feel weird. “thank you so much.” you give him a hug and he hands you the flowers. “i surely won’t.”

you awkwardly close the door, letting a large breath fall when he’s no longer standing in front of you.

“flowers?”

you look over to jungkook, standing away from the door in the living space, cat toy in hand as he waves it under the couch. “uh, yeah, i guess.”

you awkwardly murmur, walking over to your kitchen to sit them on the counter to deal with later. he doesn’t say anything, continuing to waive the cat toy around before rising to his feet. “you know, if you’re seeing someone you can tell me.” you stare at him cautiously, “i mean, we’re not really dating, i’d just like to know so i’m not blindsided.”

you take a breath, “you’re not upset?”

“what room do i have to be upset?”

you can’t deny the disappointing feeling you felt when he admitted that. “i’m not sure how i feel about him. it’s not serious.”

he hums, “just, keep me updated if something changes.” he walks to the door, “and y/n,” you look to him, your face is easy to read, “you can’t tell him.”

jungkook took you shopping as promised. he followed you around stores and made comments on everything you picked out. it got exhausting to the point where you, once again, asked him to simply pick something out.

this time, he agreed. “god.” he groans, “i thought you’d never ask! stay there.” he told you, instructing you to stay in the dressing room.

jungkook showed up seconds later with four dresses. “here.” you pull back the curtain and take the dresses from his arm.

“wow, they’re the right size and everything.”

he laughs, “i’m not an idiot, i know your size, and your style, which is why i know you may not love these but you’ll look good in everything, so i just picked something my mom and her friends would like, but still too sexy for any of them to wear.”

you acknowledge the thought he put into this as you zip yourself into the first one. it’s an unfavorable shade of burgundy and makes you feel old, but it has a low back and the skirt is short.

you step out of the dressing room and examine yourself in the bigger mirrors. jungkook checks you out from every angle as well. you both look at each other simultaneously making a “meh” face and sound.

“okay, glad we agree!” you try on another that was much better, a gorgeous blue, but simply wasn’t fit for your body type.

the third pick was a surprise. it was a deep, velvet green that hugged you famously and oozed sophistication. you looked and felt like a million bucks, and not in a sleazy way.

you step past the curtain and immediately look to jungkook. perhaps describing the way you felt when he looked at you would be better than describing how he looked at you, but you can’t ignore either. he stared at you speechlessly, mouth open, eyes scanning, and brain completely devoid of any thought besides you and everything he felt and thought about you.

“jesus christ.” is the first words exchanged between the two of you. “you look astonishing.” he had never meant something more in his entire life, he thinks.

“i feel fantastic.” you grin at him, taking a few steps closer to the mirror and checking yourself out. he watches the way you carry yourself in that dress and it's obvious how much you like it.

he appears behind you, “you’re glowing.” he chuckles and you nod excitedly, “it would be a crime not to get this one.”

you run your hands down your dress and turn around to face him, “feel it too!” you take his hand and direct him from your waist to your hips. jungkook thinks the most unholy things in the back of his mind but chooses to focus on how happy you are and how perfect the dress is for the occasion. “yeah,” he breathes, “it’s soft.”

you catch the way he looks at you and gulp, “well, sadly, i’ll go take it off.” he chuckles and sits back down.

as you’re walking out of the dressing room jungkook points to the doors of the shop, “can you go look if there's a sushi place anywhere on this street?”

you do as asked, and by the time you’re stepping back in to tell him the bad news he’s grinning. “there isn’t-”

“i know.” he smiles, slinging an arm around your shoulder and holding your dress in the other arm.

“then why-”

“do you want lunch while we’re out? you can pick, i’ll eat anything.”

jungkook treats you to lunch as well, and you picked a common, inexpensive place that was easy for the both of you. not that you needed to be concerned with how much money he was spending, but you couldn’t help but feel somewhat guilty.

you conclude that is the exact reason he sent you on a wild goose chase, so you wouldn’t know how much he paid for the dress. your suspicions were further confirmed when you get home and see the tag gone. you sigh and hang it up for the time being.

damn jeon jungkook.

you toy with your fingers as jungkook parks the car. “stay there.” he tells you. you watch him circle the car and hand his keys off to someone before opening your door and extending a hand and a sickening smile.

you chuckle, impressed, “my prince.”

he finds it amusing, taking your arm in his as he leads you into an expensive hotel that looks nothing like the hotels you’ve ever been to. he leans in so only you can hear, “you’re gonna get prince jungkook all night,” he says, looking at you with a wink, “try not to fall in love with me.”

you stick your tongue out, pretending to be disgusted by the declaration, when he really had no idea that you had been fighting yourself since you met him.

but you are nothing if not stubborn.

“jungkook is here!” yejun shouts excitedly, spotting her step-son as soon as he enters the room, a drink in her hand and clearly not her first one.

jungkook smiles sweetly and hugs her, she then looks at you, eyes wide with loud, exaggerated gasp as she looks you up and down. “you brought y/n! oh this is fantastic, a cause for a celebration!” she states. a younger man appears behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders, “perhaps take it easy on the drinking, mom. dinner hasn’t even started.” she blows him off and he extends a hand to you, “so you’re jungkook’s girlfriend?”

you nod and smile pleasingly, “yes, lucky me! i’m y/f/n.”

he chuckles, “lucky you, indeed.” he says sarcastically. ha. you already like this one. “i’m his brother, seojoon.”

you nod and continue to talk to his brother but jungkook pulls you away rather quickly, “i’m thirsty, come with me to check out the bar?”

you stare at the back of his head as he leads you towards the bar. “why did you interrupt? i was getting along-”

“we have better people to converse with than my brother.” he speaks curtly.

you take the hint and decide not to poke the bear and instead take a seat at the bar beside him. “so, any gameplan? or, just mingle.”

“just, be how you normally are.”

you frown, “well, thats lame.”

he chuckles and shakes his head, “you don’t need to change to make it in this society.”

he must be feeling the weight of his future riding on him at all times. you always wondered how kids like him dealt with that feeling. clearly, he doesn’t deal well.

you slide a hand overtop of his and look at him. he stares at you surprised, wide, dark, doe eyes. “you’re being a little hard on yourself.” you can tell by the way he looks at you that he doesn’t believe you. “really jungkook, even coming from me!” you gesture, hoping he would better understand the severity of your words but it only seemed to make it worse.

you sigh, “you’ve improved so much jungkook. in such little time. people like you, you’re charming, you’re charismatic, you’re extremely talented, you’re aware of the opportunities in front of you, and for the first time, you’re facing them. people notice you, jungkook. people love you.” he stares at you intently, hanging onto every word. you grin, “both of us, are going to make it big.”

you knew he was receptive to your little encouragement speech. you told yourself it was one of your duties as a fake girlfriend, because the last thing you needed was for him to start losing faith and motivation. he didn’t have to tell you or show you how appreciative he was, but he felt the need to. barside, with your legs crossed and one hand on his and the other in your lap, he reached across and grabbed your chin, and kissed you.

the shock on both of your faces was a dead give away, but neither of you cared, for the first time, it wasn’t about your stupid plan. that kiss was entirely different. it was optional. it served no purpose, unless you were aiming on swooning the bar staff over as well, but he did it anyway.

jungkook settles back in his seat and takes a large sip of his drink. he doesn’t say anything, and your eyes bore into him, aching for him to say anything. his hair was natural today, wavy and breath-takingly handsome. you begin to recall when you told him he looked good like that.

“your dad is coming.” you whisper to him.

“ah, i was wondering where my son was.” he surprises jungkook with a hug. “y/n! fantastic to see you again.”

“you as well mr.lee, thank you for inviting me.”

“pft.” he waives, “i should be thanking you, too.”

you laugh despite your bewilderment, “for what?”

he grins, “for the work you do of course.” he pats jungkook on the back, “and for slapping some sense into my son.” he turns to you, “i don’t know how you did it, but i thank you.”

the way he stands in front of you, thanking you for something you didn’t do, sat wrong with you. “mr. lee,” you start, jungkook stares hard at you, “jungkook did it all on his own. you should be exceptionally proud of him, he’s worked hard for the both of us.” you had no clue how true your words were.

mr. lee nods with a hearty chuckle and looks down at him, “i can tell, if i ever had doubts, they’re gone now.”

jungkook looks like he could shoot off into space right now and float happily and die a hero. you smile for him and the bartender hands his father his drink, “congratulations, jungkook.” he raises his glass to his son and takes a sip.

from then until dinner, jungkook talked your ear off. he was blissed out. when dinner came, he began to eat so quickly you knocked your knee into his to get his attention, “slow down.”

he nodded and resumed eating, at a much, much, slower, snail pace. you shake your head, “real comedian you are.” he laughs and eats his food, at a normal pace.

the dinner banquet left plenty of time for people to grab seconds and finish their food. tables were set up for families to be with families and guests to be with guests, etc.

mr. lee finished his meal about three minutes ago and has been staring at the table wordlessly. you don’t think much of it really, until he speaks, “i have something i’d like to tell you all.”

it was as if that was the beginning of a game of deadfish, everyone had stilled with their eyes on him. he clears his throat, “in the next two years, i will be retiring.”

i scan their faces. mr. lee looks, oddly calm. his wife looks shocked. seojoon looks perplexed. “and starting as soon as he graduates, assuming he is prepared and willing, jungkook, will take my spot.”

you stare out the car window and watch as the lights blur as they go by. that night could not have gone better if you had written it yourself. jungkook was ecstatic at first. after meals were served he dragged you to the dance floor and spun you around. you both learned you were fantastic dancers. they opened a bottle of champagne, you met tons of successful people and made connections and friendships alike. it was remarkable.

and still, jungkook looked indifferent.

“i would think you would be jumping off the walls right now.” you smile at him as you wait for the car.

he looks at you with a warm grin, “i’m happy.” he turns his head to stare off into the city. the night is young and alive on a friday night. college students just now heading out and workers calling it a day. then there was you and him, dressed to the nines, easily the best looking couple in any room (which you would argue, he carries) and still, he stood out. “it feels weird. this is what i wanted all along. this is what i fought for, what we worked at for months,” he ticks his head to the side, “but it still feels, off.”

jungkook sighs, feeling something he’s never felt before: discontentment. he helps you into the car and grabs the keys from the valet before sliding into the driver's seat. “maybe it hasn’t hit yet. this is only the beginning, after all.”

he nods, “i hope so.”

the week passed quickly with little word from jungkook. you grew worried as the days went on with no texts or calls, but he wasn’t really your boyfriend after all, so what room did you have to worry?

when the weekend rolled around with no date plans from him, you accepted the party invitation jihun grabbed for you. he grinned charmingly as he passed the paper to you, telling you, “all i had to do was show them a picture of you and they agreed” with a sickeningly shy smile. you shook your head, not believing him but appreciating the comment nonetheless.

this was apparently ‘the party’ of the year. hence the invitations, and you figured it came with a budget, seeing as the house was off-campus, huge, and had every kind of liquor you could have imagined available. “wow, i’ve never seen something like this before.”

you murmur to sooyung who's making herself a drink despite pregaming at your place beforehand. she nods, “oh yeah, i was invited last year and it was phenomenal. sigma hosts, but we don’t actually know how they get the funds for it.”

you laugh, “rich people.” she grins and raises her drink to you, “rich people indeed, and i will drink all of their free liquor!”

you laugh at her and grab a seltzer for yourself, leaning against the expensive countertops and staring out into the party. your slightly disappointed when you don’t spot anyone you know, including jihun. sooyung matches your stance and mocks you, “don’t see the boy toy?”

you shake your head, “not a boy toy, and no, i don’t see him.”

she hums then chuckles, “oh, screw jihun, your other lover is here.”

you furrow your brows, “sooyung what are you-”

lo and behold, jeon jungkook was here too.

of course! where there is a party, there is a jungkook. it really shouldn’t surprise you at all to see him, he is a college student afterall, and you were here too. with a date, at that. you knew jungkook though, you thought he’d changed. his face was tinted pink and he was laughing with a large group surrounding a couch, and despite not being much of a talker, all eyes were on him. not just eyes either, a pretty brunette with a push up bra was beside him with her hand on his thigh, just ogling him as if she had zero shame in the world. as you continue to stare you notice just how annoying the group was. they were betting, doing dares, and drinking all too much. “still a partier i guess.” sooyung shrugs. you can’t take your eyes away from it, you almost feel sick. you partially blame the alcohol, but you want to rip his head off for the way he was acting. is this what he’s been doing this entire time? did you give his dad your word that he was a better man just for him to play both of you? did you seriously let him use you again?

rage boiled in you on a slow simmer. you were an angry person. you knew you should be above it, but frankly, revenge is too sweet to ever pass up on.

you smiled in relief when jihun found you, covering your eyes from behind you, “guess who?”

you laugh and grab his hands as you turn around, “i can smell your cologne when you’re this close to me.”

you burst his bubble and he responds with a fake pout, “no fun.” you grin up at him, his hair dyed blonde and outgrown, and his outfit tonight makes him painfully attractive, dark wash jeans that hug his thighs and a loose button up that wasn’t so buttoned up. “how long have you been here?” he asks over the music.

“sooyung and i just got here.”

he nods and leans against the counter beside you, watching the partygoers and adjusting to the environment. sooyung was quick to find a friend to join, but parties were never your favorite. you liked bars, you liked to drink and dance and have fun, but parties always had a way of making you feel off. you think jihun picked up on this.

“you should drink more. everyone's anxieties wash away with the right amount of alcohol.” he laughs, clearly using that tactic himself. you can tell by the way he’s talking to you and carrying himself he’s already feeling the effects.

“yes but getting too drunk is disastrous.”

he leans his head closer to yours, “i’ll make sure you don’t make a fool of yourself.” jihun smiles sweetly at you and you can’t help but grin.

“it’s not that i think i’ll embarrass myself,” you start before biting your tongue.

“what?” he grins, lifting himself away from the counter and standing in front of you.

you lock eyes with him and decide to just be honest, “i don’t think i’d be able to control myself around you.”

you were sure he’d take it sexually, but what you really meant was you were trying to go slow so it wouldn’t cause a rift in your plan. but after seeing jungkook, you didn’t give fuck-all about the plan. sex couldn’t hurt either, you suppose. his brows raise and a grin grows on his face, “when did i give you the impression that i wanted you to hold back?” he glances around the room, staring off into the living room before staring back to you, “have i told you how gorgeous you look tonight?” he’s so close your noses are touching and you know he’s waiting for you to go in first, but you enjoy the game so you simply stare at his lips, “i think every guy in here is jealous of me.”

you chuckle and let your arms wrap lazily around his neck, “how does that make you feel?”

he bites at his lip, “like i want to shove it in their face a little more.” and with that you make him kiss you first. he’s gentle, much like you thought he’d be, and he pulls away for a moment, you figure catching his breath, before he kisses you again, harder, effectively pressing your back against the counter and gripping your hip tightly.

your mind swirled and your body practically lit up like a match, since the last time you touched a real man was months ago and jungkook was a disappointment, you figured you deserved this.

he lifted you onto the countertop and you licked at his lips as you wrapped your legs around him and pulled him closer to you. just when things were getting good he pulls away from you completely. you’re slow to react, and by the time you open your eyes you barely have time to grasp onto the situation at all before it’s enfolding in front of you like a spontaneous trainwreck.

you watched jihun being pulled by the shoulder, pushed away from you, and throwing his hands up with a smirk. “sorry, is she your girlfriend?” he asks him. you follow the chiseled arm up to recognize jungkook, and promptly hop off of the counter.

you were content with taking your frustrations out on jihun (in a way both of you would surely enjoy) and deal with jungkook later, but now he’s getting involved in your personal life.

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” jungkook shouts in his face, you try to rationalize his anger with drinking and even possibly drugs, but you really don’t understand what he’s doing.

“what the fuck are you doing jungkook?” you step between him and jihun, a few guys you recognize from earlier pull jihun back and jungkook locks eyes with you instead. his eyes soften, but you can tell he is equally as enraged as you are with him. you find the simple notion that he’s upset at all, even more infuriating. you hadn’t done anything wrong.

“y/n, are you serious?” he asks you in disbelief, you widen your eyes as if challenging him and he scoffs, “you’re so fucking stupid.” he grabs you and pulls you away from the party and upstairs, trying to find somewhere private enough and you’re anger is growing by the second and you pull away from him and turn to go back downstairs. “where are you going.” he stops you.

“back to the party! you’ve lost your mind jungkook-”

“i haven’t lost my mind!” he stares at you determined, bending down to your level, “i have finally fucking found it.”

you chuckle, “you found it? what, at a party? several beers in? you’re drunk, jungkook.”

he groans in annoyance, “i am not drunk-”

“your face is red.”

“i have drank i am not drunk.” you shrug and begin to walk away and he grabs onto you again. your eyes bore into his as you dig your nails into his hand.

“leave me alone jungkook.”

you hear him grumble before he appears in front of you, grabbing onto your waist and throwing you over his shoulder. “jeon jungkook!” he finds an empty room and carries you into it before releasing you onto the bed, treating you with a hint of caution like a feral cat.

you truly wish looks could kill, you were at your wits end with jungkook and not only do you think you hate him and can’t wait to be rid of him, he went out of his way to ruin your relationship, effectively cock-block you, and now he’s trapped you in a room alone with him.

“you look like you want to kill me.” jungkook took a step back from you and closer to the door.

“you’ve given me many reasons to want to claw your eyes out, but today is really starting to top the list of reasons why jungkook is an asshole.”

he takes a breath and nods, “i don’t doubt thats an extensive list but y/n,” he chuckles and motions towards the door, “what the fuck are you doing with jihun?!”

you furrow your brows, “i’ve been seeing him for a month now, why are you getting involved? matter of fact, why are you acting like my boyfriend at all? you know it’s not real, right?” he opens his mouth and steps closer but you’re faster to stand up and get in his face, “i’ve not only forgiven you but looked past all the shit you’ve done to me because it served a bigger purpose, something we both could benefit from but this!” you motion around the both of you, “this is just you screwing me over because you can.”

“that’s not-”

“not only did you get between me and a guy, which you have no reason to be upset about, you lied to me, lied to your dad, your entire family actually, you’ve manipulated everyone around you to fit your needs and i am tired of it jungkook!” you blame the alcohol and the drama of it all on why your eyes begin to tear up and he looks at you like you’ve ripped his heart out, and you’re glad. “i’m going back to the party, and jungkook,” he lets you pass him, “consider this our breakup.” you glance at him as you pass and he grimaces.

you’re turning the door handle when he warns you, “he’s just using you.”

it stops you, but only so you can laugh, “and you’re any different?”

you’re fuming when you leave the room. taking the last few steps on the stairs you hear jihun’s voice coming from the other side of the wall and you walk towards it, “i told you, they went upstairs. i can’t just follow them in there.”

when you turn the corner you see the last person you were expecting to see, and the only one who could possibly make this any worse. “minji?”

both heads turn to you in horror, as if you caught them in the act. though you’re sure minji isn’t the type of girl to care. “y/n! a-are you alright?” jihun walks towards you and puts his hands on your shoulders but you shove him away and look at minji.

“i should have figured you were involved.”

she grins and crosses her arms over her chest, “you cheated on your boyfriend all on your own, don’t be mad at me for exposing you to jungkook.” your face turns as you put the pieces together. you face jihun who looks frightened, “were you just using me then?”

he shakes his head, “n-no not entirely, i mean, minji put me up to it but i really do like-”

“stop talking.”

minji crosses in front of you and leers, “i thought you were a smart girl y/n,” she steps towards you, “but this has to be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” she walks past you, “thanks for making this easy!”

the thin ice your sanity and patience sat upon had finally broken. you chase minji up the stairs, no doubt making her way to jungkook and knock past her and towards the room you left him in. “what do you think you’re doing? leave the poor boy alone y/n.” she shouts after you, “matter of fact, leave him to me!” you open the door to see jungkook sitting on the bed, facing the door. he’s much more calm than before, and he stares at you almost apologetically. you turn to see minji heading towards the door and give her the finger before locking it.

you stand staring at the door, thoughts racing as you struggle with the information overload. jungkook was your #1 enemy hardly a minute ago, and now you’ve willingly locked yourself in a room with him.

“y/n.” he calls out to you. you don’t face him and merely hum. you hear him rise off the bed and listen to his footsteps come closer. you turn to face him and as if he read your mind, you say it at the same time with urgency.

“i’m sorry.”

he scowls, “what do you have to be sorry for?”

you shake your head, “you tried to warn me, i-i should’ve listened to you but instead i ran away from you and said terrible things-”

“i deserved it entirely.”

you chuckle, “not really, but still,” you look him in the eyes with the most sincerity you can offer, “i shouldn’t have been so angry and stubborn.”

he shakes his head and grabs your hand, “i’ve given you every reason to hate me and to not trust me, i keep fucking this up y/n.”

“no, i’ve effectively screwed up the plan. minji thinks i cheated on you, she’ll blab as soon as she gets the chance and your family will hate me.”

he furrows his brows, “i’m not talking about the plan y/n, i don’t care about that or what minji says.”

you’re taken aback by his selfishness, “you may have gotten what you wanted but i didn’t! your family could blacklist me for life jungkook-”

he grabs you by the shoulders, “can you please focus on what i’m saying y/n.”

“you’re not getting it jungkook i-i am totally fucked-” you continue to babble on about how horrible this situation is and how ignorant and mean he is for not caring about it, until he’s simply had enough of your ranting and kisses you.

it’s short, and not great, but effective in his goal. he pulls away and looks at you with widened eyes, “you’re not hearing me y/n.”

you stare off past him, “no i think i heard that loud and clear.”

“i didn’t know jihun and minji were together.” your face contorts in confusion, “i-i mean, not for certain.” he stands up straight and removes his hands from your body, “i saw them together before i knew you were here, and then i saw him kissing you a-and i couldn’t stop myself, i felt disgusted.”

“you felt disgusted, watching me kiss someone?”

he sighs, “please stop playing stupid.”

you shake your head, “no, if you have something to tell me then say it.” he stands in the room and doesn’t utter another word. you scoff, “yeah, i figured.”

you stand in silence for a moment more. you don’t want to stay, but leaving causes just as many issues. you decide you’ve had enough embarrassment for a night and decide to leave when he begs you to stay. you simply look up at him, waiting for him to say something more, and what he says leaves you reeling, “do you hate me?”

this question takes you through a range of emotions: confusion, annoyance, resentment, then overwhelm. why would he ask me such a stupid question? have i not told him countless times how much i dislike him and everything he does? “have i not made it abundantly clear that you annoy the piss out of me?”

“i didn’t ask if i annoyed you, i asked if you hated me.”

he’s found a way around your walls and you were finally beginning to notice. “what’s the difference?”

“if you hated me the way you say you do, then it's hopeless. but I don't think you hate me at all.”

you scoff, “i should.”

he nods quickly, “yes, you should.”

you stare down at your feet, letting the words fall so hesitantly from your lips, “but i don’t.”

he grins, “see?” jungkook places his hands on your shoulder once again in an attempt to grab your attention, “i think you feel the same way i do.”

he’s effective in grabbing your attention, but you look at him in horror, “i think you’re insane.”

“i think i’m in love with you.”

he says it with such confidence and tenacity you think it would have physically sent you stumbling backwards had it not been for his grip on you, like if he didn’t hold on, you would simply disappear. “y/n.”

your mind races and you stare at the floor beneath you. did he really just say that?

“what?” is all you can muster to say, and it barely makes its way past your lips.

“i don’t want to be your fake boyfriend anymore.” he bends to be at your level until you look him in the eyes. “please don’t make me keep going.”

his cheeks are flushed and you can tell he means it. “you, want this to be serious?” he nods determinedly, “how do i know you’re not playing some mean trick?”

he looks disoriented and offended by your question, but his tone is understanding, “what do i possibly have to gain from telling you that?” isn’t what he wanted to say. he knows you well enough to know that’s what you needed to hear, though. he wanted to list every reason he’s infatuated with you, every moment in the past he held his tongue, every thought and kind word that would have been inappropriate to tell you before this moment.

“i’m not sure.”

he softly chuckles, “i have nothing to gain, you said it yourself.” you feel him gently grabbing your fingers, “actually, i have everything to gain, but not in the way you’re asking.”

you shake your head, “you can’t be with me, i-its too complicated.”

“nothing about this needs to be-”

“you really would be better off with someone like minji, a-and you’d be the idiot that stayed with a nobody who cheated on him, and your father-”

“y/n.” you stare at him when he calls your name, eyes still wide with shock, but he matches your gaze with amusement and a certain softness. “i don’t care about any of that right now.” you don’t comprehend what he’s telling you, how can he not? he can’t afford to gamble with his future right now, not when he was just handed everything he’s ever wanted. “d-do you feel the same? about me?” you’re baffled, seriously? your feelings being reciprocated are his utmost concern right now? “y-you don’t have to confess anything, just that you want to try again, with me. but seriously, this time.”

your body relaxes, “like, actual dates?”

he chuckles, “absolutely.” he straightens himself, still holding onto your fingertips, “the whole romance thing, i want it with you.”

you disagree, “you don’t know anything about romance. you’ve never so much as talked about a future with a lover in the picture.”

“because i’ve never been in love before.” he says so nonchalantly.

you breath, “and you think you’re in love now?”

he bites his bottom lip before giving a mischievous grin, “maybe.” he sits on the bed and pulls me with him, scooching over so we’re shoulder to shoulder. “have you been in love before?”

you reflect for a moment before grinning wittily, “maybe.”

he laughs, not replying immediately. instead he covers your hand resting on your thighs, “let's try together then.”

you stare at him, you think in this moment, for the first time, you’re really seeing him. you’re not met with a mask, a joke, or your deceitful hatred (that was never really hatred, you realize). you’re staring into his big brown eyes, and he’s letting you. he’s listening to you, hanging onto every last word. he’s being vulnerable for you. “but what about-”

he shakes his head, stopping you as soon as you start, like he could see right through you. “don’t think about all the reasons for or against us right now. answer with what you feel.” a hard ask, considering you’ve spent your entire life conditioning yourself to be this way. “tell me you want me too, y/n.” you feel the warmth of his words on your skin. you can’t stand the idea of pulling away from him right now, so you tug him closer, grabbing him by the collar until you feel his lips on yours again.

your mind eases immediately, like far away rain in a warm house. he is warm, easy, yearnful. like you could have this all the time, and it still wouldn’t be enough. you wonder how long you’ve known this, how long it's taken you to notice, or if you realize it now, with your lips on his and he’s being oh so gentle, that you think you’re in love with him too.

he took you home with him that night. his reason being that you had a lot to talk about in the morning, but his real reason was simply that he wanted you beside him.

you woke up to the sound of dishes clanking in the kitchen and the sheets beside you cold. annoyed was your first emotion, and your pout as you saunter out of his bedroom says it all. you pull a chair out for yourself and balance your head on your hands as you watch him.

he grins as he watches you, “good morning, cranky.” he watches amusingly as your pout furthers. “not a morning person?”

your brows are furrowed, “not when i wake up alone, no.”

he hums and fights the largest grin he thinks he’s ever mustered, “ah, my sincerest apologies.” he’s making a plate before serving it to you, “are pancakes enough for you to forgive me?”

you huff, cutting a piece and biting it off your fork, “no.”

“no?”

you shake your head, “nope.”

he leans against the table with a smirk, “what will make it enough?”

you stare at him, further annoyed by how ovary-aching he looks even in the morning. his hair is still messy, with loosely fitting grey sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt.

“coming back to bed with me after you eat might do it.”

he saunters over to you and tucks a stray behind your ear, “that was already a part of the plan.” you think he’ll try to kiss your syrup tainted lips, but he goes back over to the stove to make

himself a plate before sitting and eating with you. it’s sickeningly domestic, the two of you like this. so sweet you think you’ll have to bump up your dentist appointment.

but you don’t hate it. you’ll learn you hate a lot less than you love while you’re with jungkook. he’s not a perfect boyfriend, and you’re not a perfect girlfriend. it’s hard, explaining it to your friends, coming up with stories for his family, and running collateral with minji.

you thought it would be harder to be with jungkook. you found it hard to trust in him after meeting the man he was before. a pleasant surprise to you, that loving jungkook was so incredibly easy.

“i’m guessing you won’t want that transfer after all.” he whispers, having surprised you yet again by showing up to your work (though this time, much more sneakily and nonchalant).

you look at him confused, making three cups of coffee to take to his father’s office. one was for him, which he cheekily asked you to do since ‘you’re already going down there’ before proceeding to follow you like a puppy all the way there anyway. “transferring?” you laugh, “when did i say anything about that?”

he grins, resting his chin on your shoulder and his hands draped lazily around your waist as you both wait, listening to the machine buzz. “when we were fake dating, you said you’d have me recommend or transfer you.”

you hum, wrapping your arms around his, “definitely not.” you turn in his embrace, “you need someone here to keep you on your toes.”

he shakes his head, “you do the opposite.” you furrow your brows and he laughs, pressing your heads together, “feel like i'm floating sometimes. like it's not even real.”

you hum, running a finger along his jawline, “this is one hell of a dream, if it's not real.”

he nods, “call me sleeping beauty, and don't wake me up.”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚

a happy ending :) gosh i loved writing this. new jjk mini series coming soon 😎 wishing u all a phenomena january - ara <3

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taglist: @marvelahsobx @fragmentof-indifference @notbotheredtho @jwnghyuns @heronstairsxd @isab3lita @shescharlie @kooookie @jeonzll @nickyisityou @laylasbunbunny @instabull @xjiminsthighsx @iceykoo @ash07128

[smoments]

✧ part 11: memories of a stranger // a satosugu reincarnation au

chapter 11: one single thread of gold

“Yes, and I think I should have received this point as well…”

Shoko generally excels at keeping her emotions out of academic situations, primarily because she doesn’t actually care much about school. She works hard, sure, but sometimes, when she’s sitting in class and listening to her third professor that day drone on and on about neuroanatomy and its various perspectives and all the too-complicated labels for every little nuance of what should really just be collectively gathered into the brain, she thinks that she wouldn’t be particularly upset if her school spontaneously combusted, preferably with her inside it. If not the entire school (this, after all, would be asking for a lot), then just her classroom would more than suffice. Unfortunately, the remaining fragment of self-preservation she possesses prevents her from advocating for such a thing, and perhaps also her morals (if slightly less so). 

Even so, morals are currently taking a backseat to the annoyance bubbling up inside her at the insufferability of her teacher. Actually, maybe it isn’t the teacher’s fault, but she has better things to do than argue for a few points on a test, even if her grade is hanging on for dear life.

God, it was stressful dealing with idiots.

After successfully debating (arguing) her way into a better grade, Shoko gets Satoru’s text on her way to her community service club - this is unfortunately located across campus and consists of less community service and more socializing while discussing the importance of community service, the latter of which suits her just fine - and wrinkles her nose in confusion.

“Wouldn’t him fumbling be bad enough without the additional beating?” She mutters dryly, wondering who Satoru thinks he’s fooling with the world platonic. How do you platonically fumble someone?  

dw you won’t.

Shoko pauses, unsure as to whether she’s giving him too much credit, and decides to throw in something to cushion her fall in case Satoru does screw things up and then tries to blame it on her. 

probably. idk tho

She tilts her head curiously when a call from Utahime comes in, stepping aside to answer and nearly bumping into four different people. Campus is rather crowded at this time of day, even with her slight holdup after class - of course, Satoru was lucky enough to be off all afternoon. Hopefully he’s making the most of their time together, especially because she’s pretty sure Suguru did have somewhere to be today.

“Shoko! A… friend and I booked appointments at this spa nearby, but they cancelled on me last minute, and it’s a nonrefundable reservation!” 

“Oh? Who?”

“...my friend! You don’t know them.”

Shoko stifles a giggle. Utahime has always been a subpar liar.

“You don’t have any other friends. Unless you asked one of the guys to go to a spa with you? I’m sure Nanami would very much appreciate it.” 

“Ugh, Shoko, you sound just like them right now! Don’t do this. Just meet me there in an hour.”

“Fine. But I’m paying you back. And you know, if you’d just asked me, I would’ve come along peacefully.”

“Like hell you would’ve! Anyways, hurry up and- Ahh! They have mini jade rollers, Shoko! How cute!” 

On second thought, Shoko hadn’t really wanted to go to her club anyway. 

Besides, her being in a good mood is practically community service all on its own. 

-

Satoru shifts slightly from where he’s lounging on the couch, wondering vaguely what’s taking Suguru so long in the bathroom. He wouldn’t blame him if he’d grown tired after hours of stagnancy; sitting in one spot for so long took quite the mental toll on a person, which was a concept that the school system did not seem to understand.

He knows that he, for one, is completely exhausted. His scant few hours of sleep is finally catching up to him, and though it’s nearly time for lunch by now - his mind travels to potential meal ideas when he realizes this, and he wrinkles his nose at the idea of trying to scrape something edible together from the few items he currently has in his fridge - he wants nothing more than to sprawl out on his admittedly average bed and have a good, long sleep to make up for his early rising. 

But he doesn’t let himself entertain this idea for too long, since he doesn’t want to waste any time with Suguru in his dorm.

That sounds bad. His intentions are innocent, though!

Regardless, if Suguru really is taking a breather in the bathroom, he feels a pang of guilt at the idea that he wouldn’t have thought to simply ask him for a break. Surely he knows that Satoru wouldn’t care! Does he really think him that insensitive? He might be rude sometimes, but he’s not heartless. 

When did Satoru start worrying so much about what other people did or thought, anyway? Wasn’t he the type to take everything in stride, letting everyone else act freely in the hopes that they’d step back and allow him to do the same? 

He grumbles as his eyelids grow heavy and he rolls over once again, his cheek pressing into the plush cushion that rests beneath his skin.

Has his couch always been this comfortable?

He’s sure it hasn’t. Isn’t. But he feels so warm suddenly, a sense of comfort encircling him like a down blanket. He’s barely hanging on to consciousness, haven given up fighting sleep and instead letting it brush over his eyelids, easing them shut. 

It won’t be for long; just a couple minutes of rest, and then he’ll be full of renewed energy that he’ll be able to throw into his art. 

He’s a light enough sleeper that any movement will probably awaken him, anyways.

And Suguru might still be a while.

This is the last coherent thought that Satoru recalls putting together before he slips fully into unconsciousness.

He wishes it had ended there. Unconsciousness was not such an unpleasant place to exist. It turned out that dreams could be far, far worse. 

He’d thought he was over it.

He’d thought that horribly gut-wrenching dream from last night was finished and done with, that he would never have to recall its exact occurrences in such a high level of detail again. He didn’t imagine for a second when he shut his eyes that it would all come back to him while he was in his most vulnerable state, or he would have forced himself to stay awake until it killed him.

The last thing Satoru expects to see when he finally tears himself from sleep is Suguru standing over him, something like worry creasing the smooth surface of his face. He’s still mid-panic, still in a state of attempting to gather his bearings. Horror seizes him as he zeroes in on a specific detail that would have been minute at any other time, in any other place. 

It’s Suguru’s long, dark hair - down around his shoulders. 

Down like it was when Satoru killed him. 

And is Suguru’s silhouette swimming in his vision now, or is he just imagining it? Is the red armchair directly behind him blending into Suguru’s face and painting half of it bloody, or are his eyes playing tricks on him? That look on his face- does he suddenly appear so incredibly hurt, like Satoru has somehow wounded him beyond belief without meaning to, or is it just him? Is he moving, even, or is he just standing there silently? Standing at all? Is he a corpse? An apparition?

Satoru tries to pull himself together. He does his best to twist his expression into one of calm, despite the fact that he hasn’t yet caught his breath and he’s growing dizzier with every second he stares into Suguru’s eyes and attempts to discern whether he’s still breathing. When he finally manages to speak, it comes out strangled, forced.

“Y-your hair is down.”

Suguru’s face flushes. And maybe Satoru should be wondering what he could possibly be so embarrassed about, but he’s so busy admiring the indisputable sign of life coloring his cheeks that he cannot bring himself to consider what seems like an insignificant detail in comparison. 

“Yeah. It wasn’t cooperating too well today. Look, Satoru, I shouldn’t have-“

The sound of liquid bubbling over from the kitchen cuts Suguru off, and his head snaps toward the entrance, the guilty look in his eyes fading temporarily in favor of confusion. 

He hurries into the adjacent room while Satoru sits up and rubs his eyes, his heart rate slowly settling. 

He must be losing it. 

He’s never been this unstable in his life. It’s easy to make such a criticism now, of course, when he’s in a calmer state of mind.

When he can think clearly. 

Still, given this second of reprieve, the remaining shred of his sanity manages to come up with a single, perfectly formed decision:

He will not tell Suguru about this. 

He’d been lucky to get a neutral response from him the first time around, given that a random person somehow possessing a sketchbook full of painstakingly crafted images of him would have thrown him off at best, and creeped him out at worst. But this? ‘Hey, I had a dream where I killed you, but I don’t know if it was a dream so much as a premonition? Or maybe it’s happened already, but in a different reality? Well, we better hope it wasn’t foreshadowing anything, huh? Haha.’

Absolutely not. 

“Satoru! Did you put milk in this!?”

An exasperated voice snaps him out of his thoughts. He glances towards the entrance and nearly laughs when he sees Suguru standing there with a hand on his waist, brandishing what looks like his (broken) tea kettle threateningly.

“Yeah. What, was I supposed to drink the coffee black?”

“I practically do this for a living, you know! You could’ve just asked me. What will we do now? And when you’re so tired, too. Coffee would have been the perfect pick-me-up...”

Suguru purses his lips disapprovingly, which only heightens Satoru’s amusement. Perhaps they’re both a little unstable, if Suguru’s having a breakdown over a kitchen appliance. He feels his shoulders relaxing, and his mouth curls into a grin.

“I can’t have my guests working, Suguru! Don’t worry about it. I never used that thing anyway.” 

“That isn’t really the issue here…”

A shadow passes over his face as he speaks, and his expression drops once again, as though he’s just recalled something important. Satoru eases himself off the couch, planting a reassuring hand on Suguru’s shoulder as he strolls past him and into the kitchen to survey the extent of the mess. He thinks he feels Suguru flinch at his touch, and the crease in his brow deepens. Is he truly that worried about the coffee? Perhaps it was expensive. 

The counter is surprisingly impeccable; he’d expected much worse, in all honesty, given Suguru’s slightly disproportionate reaction, and he brushes his hands off casually after disposing of the napkins he used to wipe up the spill. 

“See? Don’t worry so much, Suguru.”

Suguru gives him a tight smile, one that doesn’t reach his eyes - Satoru would know, because he’s spent what feels like years taking in every smile. He frowns.

“Uh… Should I make more coffee?” He offers in a voice that admittedly sounded more enticing in his head. 

“Please don’t.”

Suguru cracks a small grin, then, and the warmth of it makes Satoru almost dizzy with relief. 

Because although he can’t deny the inexplicable hold that these visions - these dreams - have over him, there is little to support that they are anything besides horrific amalgamations of his worst fears. 

He’d wanted, at first, to believe that he and Suguru had known each other in another lifetime - it was such a pretty concept, an invisible string to tie them together regardless of the circumstances. It no longer mattered what difficulties might befall them, because they were simply fated, and so life would bring them back together. 

But when innocent emotions and a soft, hazy sense of familiarity sharpened into memories that Satoru was sure he wouldn’t have wanted to live out in the first place, let alone recall, it lowered his inclination to place faith in what suddenly seemed so incomplete, so groundless. He began to balk at the thought that his mind knew something he didn’t, and that once-comforting notion quickly turned into one that terrified him. 

And the string became something like a tightrope, a sequence of events into which they were fated to fall over and over. 

It became something with the potential to pull them apart.  

-

The portrait is finished in nine days: it’s practically a record for Satoru, not that he’s counted until now. Even so, it’s plain to see that it’s one of his best works. That isn’t just him being self-obsessed; everyone’s told him so, including his teacher, who was initially reluctant to grant him an extension but immediately changed her tune when he submitted the final project. 

It’s Suguru, of course - he’s cast in bright, morning sunlight and stood in front of a tranquil lake that glitters in streaks; places where it’s blanketed in beams of light. His expression is soft, his gaze directed towards the surface of the water, which reflects his surroundings - the treetops, their leaves pale and hazy, the little yellow and blue forget-me-nots that dot the shoreline, and his own silhouette. Gentle ripples tug at the edges of his figure, blending all of his colors together and turning them into barely defined puddles of paint. Beyond the scenery but also reflected in the lake, so translucent they’re barely visible, lay frozen scenes taken from Satoru’s memory (scenes that are meant to represent the course of a person’s life, he’ll explain to anyone who asks) - Suguru laughing, his expression open and free, a golden tint to his face - him facing dead forward, face cold and unreadable - (this one is placed farther away from the silhouette itself, on the outskirts of the water) - Suguru against a brick wall, his face bloodied. This was a smile that he would have preferred to exclude, but it haunted him persistently until he put it down on paper. To make up for it, he’d painted in another - a genuine, attentive beam that made him blush every time he laid his eyes on it. And, of course, one self-indulgent image of the two of them together on a bicycle, the bright blue of the sky barely distinguishable from the water itself. 

It was a painting that would have been beautiful even if the subject was not. Even if the subject were somebody entirely different. But to Satoru, Suguru was the painting. It was why he needed him there, solid and moving and directly in front of him, when he began. It wasn’t like he needed to see Suguru’s face to remember what it looked like; it was simply that his presence was the inspiration Satoru needed to understand what he wanted to convey. To him, this painting was not a shallow depiction of a face. He wanted to capture the essence of the person in it, to encompass all of Suguru’s various sides and sharper corners and breathtaking smiles in a single image. 

And he thinks he has succeeded, because when he looks at it, he can almost catch a glimmer of movement from the corner of his eye in the ripples at the lake’s surface; he can almost feel the wind in the trees, can almost get so lost staring that a wave of indescribable loss and longing surges through his windpipe, threatening to swallow him completely. Longing for what, he has no idea; Suguru is right by his side, after all. 

He doesn’t know whether it’s the kind of thing that others can see, too, if his execution was a success. Even if it was, even if it does procure the same kind of emotion in others as it does within him, he can’t imagine anyone else feeling so strongly about it - about Suguru. Not because he doesn’t think him lovable, but because to Satoru, he is overwhelmingly, incredibly so. 

He turns to him now. They are standing side by side in front of the finished artwork - Suguru’s first look. Satoru feels like he could die, he’s so nervous, and he’s not even entirely sure why. It’s been silent for many seconds too long. 

He’s just taking it in. Stop being so impatient. Did you expect him to jump for joy the second he saw himself? Even you wouldn’t do that. 

Finally, when he thinks he can’t take another second of quiet, Suguru speaks, his voice soft.

Has he been wearing his hair differently these days? Something looks off about it. There is something out of place in his movements as he turns halfway to face Satoru, a sense of transience that Satoru cannot quite pinpoint.  

“It’s… beautiful, Satoru. Absolutely stunning. You’ve outdone yourself, as usual.”

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

megaman AI box art

there’s a pretty big discussion around AI art, it seems i’m not super-familiar with The Discourse but if my programming experience has taught me anything it’s that random generation has to springboard off of something (usually called a seed), and you have to feed stuff in to an AI to get material to build off of that springboard so i’ve got several big goddamn questions as to where t f these guys would get their seeds and material from

but me being me, the first thing on my mind is “can you draw megaman with it?” so i decided to insert in "megaman box art" to a handful of different ones, see what happens

first off is a place called Nightcafe Studio, which allows you to pick one of three styles to make art in: cosmic, matte, and cyberpunk. nacho cheese and cool ranch were out, sorry.

this is "megaman box art" as done in its cosmic style and it certainly looks cosmic megaman got a nose guard to defend against space pollen, i guess and either his arm got detached and is floating down there or he's got a vacuum cleaner attached to his shins but it sure is cosmic

6/10, pretty colors but not very megaman

next style was matte, and

this actually looks pretty fucking cool! you've got a rad cityscape in the background, lighting’s really neat, and background to the MGA AIN MGATAN logo as sponsored by pepsi is cool

i guess that's kind of sort of Model ZX aile if you squint and tilt your head, but she’s the main part that turns the entire thing sinister. did you know that when you’re dealing with the fae shapeshifted as a human, you should count the features to make sure everything’s accurate? count the knuckles, count the fingers, count the shadows... oops, six fingers hah hah hah hah hhhhhhhhhhhh this is not Model ZX aile, this is not your friend.

7/10 you’re not stealing my goddamn teeth today, oberon

last to go is cyberpunk style and

holy shit this is a fucking WWE poster roman reigns dressed in pink and got a fucking beam tonfa??? or something a very distorted vince mcmahon puts on a power glove while brock lesnar looks disappointed to the side, and fiery font tells us that the meemen meeaiiaininaihiniahin is gonna happen at 2 / F' / 20 i could imagine you could probably print this out, put it through photoshop for edits, and then try to pass it off as an official poster for a synthwave megaman reboot. if you were a moron who wanted to get fired, i mean. fantastic way to commit career suicide.

1/10 coolest shit i've ever seen but very bad megaman art tbh

still, i'll give cyberpunk another shot. maybe it was confused, thinking it was going to have men that were mega, rather than megaman

HOLY SHIT

fuckin AXE DADY megaman over here this has it all it's got the dictator cam, looking up like it's hitler it's got the stance, holding a black vylon slinky to the side while he contemplates shooting above it it's got the logo sleekness, i've never seen MEEMN AXE DADY rendered so well it's got the color contrast, bright blue city in the left while a goddamn laser rips through time and space on the right and it's got a cool robot that actually kind of has a buster arm, though the computer is clearly confused as to what megaman’s buster actually looks like maybe should’ve let an artist handle that?

10/10, great megaman art, fucking amazing, would play, would watch, would let axe dady shoot things

next up is deepai's Machine Learning Model doesn’t seem to have any parameters, just put in a text box and go, so i did

thanks i've been wondering how it would be possible to turn megaman into a horror icon i didn't think hollowing his face out and replacing it with a fucking skull would be the answer but this is a pretty handy way to ensure my insomnia persists through the night

0/10 i

fucking

hate it

hastily getting the fuck away from that abomination unto both god and man, next up is dream.ai it seems to be a service mostly for developing and providing NFTs, but it's actually completely free with a little finagling so i don’t get where the value is supposed to come from

anyway, there's a lot of different options to provide a customized art style for the prompt, and you can even see it with different things it's got a lot of options too many to safely delve into, in fact, so i'm going to do the game journalist thing and generate maybe a handful of things and judge it entirely off that

first off is a comic art style generated without a seed

and at first glance this looks partially like the megaman 1 box art characters decided to pvp with each other at second glance as you look closer, though, you can clearly tell it's an i don't know what the fuck

4/10 colors look cool at least

maybe weird shit is the best part of it, though maybe weird shit is what it specializes in so let's try psychadelic

well, that's psychadelic all right i guess the dude in the middle is kind of sort of vaguely megaman but i don't know what the fuck else there is, there's actually less sensible shit going on here

2/10 i like listening to shpongle too, dude

but it's safe to say this system needs a bit of help let's go back to comic style and feed in some nice art from existing megaman

in my opinion, this poster is the peak megaman experience. it’s the quintessential representation. this pretty clearly dictates what megaman's about guy in blue shooting things robots getting shot at ominous shitbag in the background castlevania for some reason

favorite promo art, hands down. so let’s see how the AI works with this.

all right, finally, we're getting somewhere. guess this AI just needed to copy from someone else’s homework first. wow, that brings up a lot of questions about the nature of the materials AI art generators use to build their random images. well, that’s goddamn horrifying to contemplate. am i a monster unwittingly contributing to a system of artistic exploitation for the sake of making a shitpost on a megaman shitpost blog? fucked up.

anyway, we got a robot dude, he's got a gun, he's even got a little strut i like this guy a lot, he's got moxie and a rad face-visor thing

all right, i'm feeling generous 6/10 you fucked up but now you're getting better

let's go once more for comic style and

all right, holy shit, you're learning fast yeah this is undeniably megaman he's even got the weird helmet and weird boots and everything

there's a cool cityscape, a sci-fi sky, and he's trying to give the underside of a ship the highest of fives he doesn't look like he's standing very well on his taco bowl of destiny, though but i can't fault him with his dildo leg, must be difficult to stand on and judging by his pants, he's got trouble with testicles the size of texas growing in after kicking wily's ass 69 times understandable problem, really, after you go through 10 games that’s when you turn from a mega boy to a real mega man

9/10, good box art

you know, i'm feeling confident, i think dream's got a good idea as to what's going on with megaman let's take a risk and go for a different art style synthwave looks good, it's all about that retro shit and megaman's a retro series

this doesn't look like a new picture that just looks like you took the original picture and put a shitty smear on it

god fucking damn it

0/10, apply yourself, pick up a goddamn pencil and then see me after class

getting away from that, next up is stable diffusion, apparently a state-of-the-art AI generator hosted by Hugging Face, which i hope is a legitimate company and not a front for xenomorphs

and HOLY SHIT

on the first go we have some actual fucking box art good background, very clear, we've got a skyline with a forcefield pyramid in the background i guess wily's a space egyptian now? rad.

napalm bomb megaman's doing some fucking pelvic thrusts ready to spread war crimes all about bit distressing for our sweet friendly superhero boy but i'll admit i'd react the same way after getting a fucking napalm gun for an arm.

we've even got a rating on the bottom right, indicating that it's suitable for ages Video Game and up got a clearly-defined line for letting the publishers rub their dick all over, filling it with logos or titles or other corporate information

i feel confident about this, i like our MEAAN game, shit's looking pretty good

10/10, good box art. real good box art. little timmy would probably be confused seeing it on the shelf but this strikes me as something Bob Capcom would reasonably okay after five lagers and an existential crisis.

getting a little concerned here, looks like crisis on infinite megamans

i don’t want to imagine how many official variants of rock there are, especially if you count all the fangame/indie game knockoffs, but having them all collide together into a single Enter the Megaverse sounds like it'd be effectively impossible to handle do you want to play megaman, megaman x, megaman volnutt, megaman.exe, star force, zx, x over flavored? dos-flavored? bad box art flavored? captain n flavored? pachinko-flavored?

NGL though if rockman taisen ends up being some sort of dumb megaman battle royale then i would actually punch a cactus out to be able to play as ruby spears megaman frankly, huge missed opportunity that they're not even in X Dive the tagline even writes itself, "I knew you'd pull for Mr. Lincoln!"

oh yeah i was rating the cover uhhhhhhhh i dunno, there's dudes i don't know, they're doing poses, ominous guy in the background i guess it's serviceable? this doesn’t really tell me anything about the game, there’s just guys.

6/10 i'd pass it over and look at something else

holy shit are you okay? either he's (she's? they're?) taking a dump and all their lower intestines got caught in it, or something is burning out in the thinkpan and won’t be coming back

that dead-eyed glare is actually legitimately haunting this is the expression someone makes in anime after they realize you stabbed them and you were never their friend i've only seen that gaze in my life twice before and let me tell you, you remember things

1/10 someone call the police

all right, i’m moving away from that before i bring up more questionable ground our final contestant for the night is hotpot.ai, a website for general purpose game asset AI generation. they’ve got AI-handled copywrite, too, which strikes me as risky ground. if i can’t trust a machine with megaman, can i trust a machine to legally cover my ass? i would never trust a machine with my pants, ass or no. we’ve already firmly established that robot masters are always a pants-on debacle.

anyway, let’s give this a shot

aaaaaand hit “Generate”, and

EXCU

NOPE

FUCK THIS

I’M DONE

[theoddcatlady]

Nearly lost my temper at work yesterday

For a bit of background, I work at an insurance company. I’m not exactly changing the world, but it pays well and it’s usually pretty chill. Except for yesterday, which I just really need to rant about. It was a bunch of little things that stacked up to my… almost explosion.

The water cooler was dripping nonstop. Citrix servers had gone down and that was the main program I use for work. I had a pounding headache from the bright lights in the office and my skin was all dried out from the artificial air. And for fuck’s sake, Barbara would just not leave me alone.

I’m not a people person. I can answer the phone and be amicable enough, but I’ve never been like BFF’s with my coworkers at… any of my jobs. Most of my coworkers get I’m here to do my job and get paid. Barbara though, good god. She just doesn’t get the hint. And I can’t exactly mouth off to her because she’s been with the company for like two decades so if she complains I’m the one in trouble… not like she’s done work for the last five years, but I digress.

“So is this your boyfriend, Ellie?”

I chewed the inside of my cheek as Barbara plucked one of the pictures in my cubicle up, cooing and aww’ing. I hated being called Ellie. “He’s so cute!”

“Andrew is my brother, actually. I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.” One of the only other people I can tolerate in this world. I grabbed the picture and not so gently snatched it back, setting it down. The vein in my forehead probably popped out another good inch as I saw that Barbara had left a greasy thumbprint on the glass. I’d need to clean it when she was gone.

“Oh!” Barbara cocked her head to the side. “You don’t look alike!”

“I’m adopted.” Desperately I stared at my computer, willing Citrix to get its shit together so I could tell Barbara I was busy working. I was not going to be that lucky.

“You know, I have a son about your age.” Barbara started fiddling with the other things in my space, my notepad, the pens. “He just broke up with his girlfriend, and I was wondering, I bet the two of you would love to have coffee together…”

“I’m sorta preoccupied with other things at the moment than dating. And I hate coffee. I’m more of a tea person.” Jesus Christ, I was at the point where I was begging the clock to speed up. Even with the systems down, I still wasn’t allowed to leave until four. Just in case they came back on, even though they never had in the past. I wouldn’t mind getting paid to sit on my ass and do nothing if fucking Barbara would leave me alone.

“At your age?”

Oh, here we go. I rolled my eyes as Barbara tutted her tongue at me. “You need to get on that, honey, otherwise you’re going to be unmarried at thirty! After that it’s all downhill, not to mention how this could effect your future children- is something wrong with your arm?”

Shit. I hid my hand under my desk. “No!” I spared a glance and almost starting cussing. Of all times to start shedding, this was not a good time. “Bathroom emergency, move it!”

I shoved past Barbara, accidentally pushing her to the ground in my haste. I heard her snap after me but I didn’t care. I scooted into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me.

I held my hand in front of me to see more skin start to flake off, revealing the putrid muscle and flesh underneath. Fuck me. Today had to be that bad, huh?

My brother used to call it my ‘zombie mode’ to make me grumpy, but it’s not really like that. I keep my sanity, but I just start rotting and falling apart at the seams. It’s been like this since I was a kid, though I do tend to rot quicker when I’m having a shitty day, so Barbara can get fucked.

There’s really only one way to speed up the process so my skin grows back normal and healthy, and it sucks.

I sent Andrew a text, telling him to come pick me up as soon as he could and to bring my large coat. He knew what I meant. With a sigh, I double checked the lock before I pulled my shirt off, bra following onto the floor. Where the underwire was pressing against me the skin was already starting to come off. I gritted my teeth, grabbed on, and yanked.

It doesn’t hurt, not when my skin’s already dead. Sometimes a bit of the live skin comes with it and oh that hurts like tearing a hangnail, but it’s hardly lethal.

Pus and blood spattered into the sink as I ripped more and more of my skin away, both lumps I once called breasts slapped on the ground with a wet sound. I could see tumorous, bulbous growths starting to form in the fat. With most of the skin on my torso gone, I moved onto my arm. I groaned with relief as I finally scratched away at the sore, ripping away more skin and flesh.

I had skinned my entire upper body and was finally starting to feel relief when I heard a timid knock at the door.

“Sweetie? Ellie? Are you okay?”

Barbara’s voice made my blood boil, but right now she was exactly what I needed. I cleared my throat before approaching the door. “Sorry, Barb, I… I threw up. Everywhere. On my clothes, on the sink. It looks like a horror film in here. I called my brother to come get me, but could you please bring me stuff to clean up? I am not leaving this for Willis to clean up tonight, he’ll probably quit.”

“Oh, of course, sweetie! Don’t worry about work, I’ll handle it.”

She even was nice enough to cover her eyes as she handed me the cleaning supplies through the crack in the door. I scrubbed that floor and counter spotless, filling a garbage bag with bloody paper towels and gore so that no one would assume I butchered someone in the bathroom.

My brother gave me my trench coat when he came to pick me up and acted like he was helping me out of the building as he escorted me, in reality he was making sure I wasn’t bleeding over everything.

Now I’m home, enjoying a few seasons of Friends as I heal up. Andrew is a coroner and if I didn’t have him, I probably would’ve lost my mind and eaten Barbara on a bad day years ago. Whenever I’m done ‘shedding’, he brings me home a few human body parts so I can eat. I usually add them to whatever junk I’m eating, but Barbara was nice enough to bring me some chicken noodle soup. Now it’s chicken noodle soup plus a kidney, but hey, what can you do.

Whoa, feels good to get my shitty yesterday off my chest. Thank god it’s Friday.

[nnms-mlnel]

I miss my mom. I’m scared to go through Christmas and not get a call from her. She’s not dead, but she’s gone. My oldest came out as [redacted] and my parents are extremely fundamentalist. I told my mom gently, with no ultimatums, no threats, no take-it-or-leave-its, because I knew she loved her grandchildren, and I knew she’d always want to be in their lives and celebrate them. I knew it would be difficult, for them to accept and celebrate her; but honest to god, as factual and tangible as skin and rock and water, I knew they would find a way to still rejoice in her joy and lift her up in her truth, because their love for my children was greater than any silly little fluid thing like sexuality and gender identity, and her love would be strong enough to move her to change how she sees the queer community. I was wrong.

I gave her nearly a year, before I brought it back up. We live across the world from each other, so in periodic text messages and phone calls, she was able to avoid addressing it. I only brought it up at this point, after she reposted an article, with a comment that disparaged the community my daughter now identifies with. I asked why she felt that way, knowing what she knows about her granddaughter. With her answer, the realness of the love I thought she had evaporated. “Having the rug pulled from under me” doesn’t explain it well enough; something in my mind cracked. It felt as though the ground I was standing on was a coping illusion, and the reality I shocked myself back into was that I was spinning untethered into the black dark of space, alone.

I know that’s dramatic, but there’s a lot of history here, too. Through this interaction, I learned my mom spent the almost-year in her own turmoil, receiving my child’s new identity as an act of aggression against her specifically, and her faith. She let these feelings mature and develop until she had solidified in her mind that I must be a manipulative, demanding, vengeful woman. I require complete submission and acceptance, or I withhold my love. That must be it, because plenty of families disagree on politics and religion, and get on just fine. So it must be me. Except that.

My mother has made a legacy of abandoning family when things get hard. She did it to me when I announced my divorce (that we didn’t end up going through with.) She did it first, when I started seeing a therapist. She did it to my dad’s entire family, when I was a child, over disagreements with LGBT+ acceptance. She did it Thanksgiving of 2005, with her own family. She cuts people off all the time, and to this day, has no idea how to exist in a state of compromise and mutual respect and love. “Agree to disagree” doesn’t mean the same to her as everyone else. The reality is, her faith is only worth the effort and sacrifice, if my children and I go to hell, and that’s a reality that she will never be able to just ignore. I certainly can’t ignore it. How do I break bread with people that, in effect, need my child to go to hell? Whether it exists or not, that’s her truth, and that’s what matters. I can’t. She had so long, to ask questions, read, seek out good sources that could marry her faith with my child’s lifestyle, and instead she twisted the narrative to center her own pain. I don’t know what to do with that.

And so I’m here, mourning the loss of a relationship I made up. Dreading the holidays, when my kids will finally ask, “hey is grandma and grandpa going to call again?” and I’ll have to tell them no. I hate this so much. It shouldn’t be like this. How can someone talk about love so much, for so many years, and have no idea how to practice it. I don’t understand.

[goldenxbby]

cold cuts in the moonlight

part 2 and part 3

εїз pairing: fezco x f!reader

εїз warnings: not much just blood, slight arousal, and poorly explained art history... BEWARE 

εїз word count:  5669 hehe

εїз summary: fez doesn't know where else to go except outside your window.

εїз a/n: this is like my very first time writing and sharing a fic so pls be nice i don’t know what i’m doing. this is based off everything we’ve seen in the first epi of season two of euphoria about an hour after the big fight (ahhh). i couldn’t decide whether to make the pov lexi or y/n so i just half based it off lexi so it can be used either way. also i plan on making this a series so if literally anybody likes this i shall try and post again.

She had just finished washing her face using the self-care tactic as a form of distraction since absolutely no one was answering their phones. She thought at least there was some normalcy compared to the commotion from this night's party.

returning to her dark room she flopped onto her bed grabbing her phone connected to its charger. She went straight to her messages for the 5th time tonight to look over Fez’s text. At the party when he put his number in her phone he sent himself a “:))”. It made her giggle when she first looked at it, but his time it sent a pang of worry and nostalgia through her heart. 

She missed the warm fuzzy feelings she had felt on that couch with him almost an hour ago. The moment before she saw Fez’s smirk turn to a tense stare. When his eyes had those little twinkles of light swimming in a pool of deep blue she so badly wanted to dive into, and not a complete shield of darkness blocking out the person who made her cheeks blush and whole body warm from head to toe. She worried where he was, what he was doing, what he was thinking, what he was thinking of her- no shit that was stupid why would she even be in his mind right now? She was a speck in the night he had. He must have had a million more important and interesting things running through his head than her boring self. He probably had already forgotten about her. 

Well, shit. Now her heart had shifted past her stomach and all the way outside her body, probably touching bedrock. She needed another distraction or she knew she would start her self-loathing monologue and that would definitely make this night even worse.

Opening twitter was a mistake. Having to look at the car crash that was her drunk and definitely high east highland peers tweeting about the pummeling and sharing videos of Nate Jacobs being unconsciously dragged out who knows house sent fear down her body. Not because what Fez did scared her she was more shocked than anything. No, she felt fear because seeing how everyone reacted to the fight made her realize her reflex after seeing Fez almost murder Nate in front of everyone was to be concerned about him. A man she barely knew and had shared maybe 6 sentences of conversation with. A conversation that left butterfly’s in her stomach and cheeks hot, a conversation that made her feel desired, listened to, comfortable, excited and seeing feelings she’s not sure she’s felt in a long time… or maybe ever. 

God, how was she falling for a guy who will probably never speak to her again? A guy that she barely knows. Why was the thought of falling make her feel thrilled? 

All those ideas took a pause when Rue's name popped up on her phone with a text notification. 

“rue: you talk to fez?”

Getting a text from Rue that wasn’t a reply was surprising, but getting one about Fez was even more. Staring at her phone with the idea that Fez might have also been thinking about her and even went out of his way to text someone he trusted about it made her bite her lips trying to hold in the joy. 

Oh, fuck those thoughts came back. What if she was totally delusional? Why the fuck would Fez talk about her? I thought we registered that he already forgot about her? He clearly wasn’t asking Rue about her. Rue probably saw them on the couch. Duh, they were at the same party and anybody that saw them together would be asking her the same question. The duo was extremely contrasting from the outside and she knew that but she also knew it felt like one of the rarest connections anybody would be lucky to have on this earth. 

Shit, she needs to reply. Rue can see she’s read the text. Trying to think of something that wouldn’t give a tell of her emotions was hard under the time constraints she gave herself. She landed on “wdym?”. Jesus the fuck was that? She never texts like that she knows Rue knows she has to use urban dictionary to talk to anybody their age. One message and she’s already failing at coming off as normal. 

*ding* 

Oh God is Rue gonna bully her now she must know somethings up? With all her anxiety right now she can not take Rue's teasing. Uneasily opening her phone with her eyes closed and holding her breath she finally takes a peak.

“rue: he asked for your addy?”

 Holy. She felt holy at that moment. Like all her dreams were manifestations like she must be God's favourite like an angel would appear out of nowhere and grant all her deepest wishes. And then it actually happened, it actually fucking happened. Unbeknownst to her at the time though. 

A soft tapping from her window barely took her out of her thoughts. Looking up from the phone she was disassociating into, she saw some of the light from the moon above her had been blocked in her window. Getting up and pulling her curtains to the side with a squint she saw him. 

His expression completely different from the hostile glance he gave her leaving the party earlier. The look he was wearing now staring down at her held innocence in it somehow. He quickly changed his questioning pout into a sincere half smile when she whispered “fez?”. That half tug of his lips and her name leaving them made her almost jump to open her window. 

You know when the Roman Empire fell and everyone was in such deep poverty that they became obsessed with the church? And all the paintings at the time were of saints with those golden halos? 

Well, Fez’s halo was white right now under the moonlight and he was swiftly becoming the saint she’d obsess over to divert from the poverty that was being away from his company. That’s all she could think about as the words “What are you doing here?” left her mouth. 

Fez's face dropped down looking at the ground then back at her the questioning unknowing look coming back to his face. “Ima be honest wit you, I’m acting on my gut rn instead of my head.” he chuckled. Making her smile up at him. She gained a confidence she’s only ever felt around Fez “We’ll does your gut wanna come in?”. All the self doubt she had held minutes ago was completely gone and the only thing filling her head was… just Fez. She could only think of him and trying to keep him with her for as long as possible.

 “…yeah.” he clearly took some time to think over his answer. Like his confidence had dissipated now having to actually go through with the wants that brought him to his current spot. Moving to the side to let Fez in she’s confused when he doesn’t enter. But looking back she noticed Fez taking his shoes off and then handing them to her with a “Not tryna get yo floors dirty ma.” which makes her giggle and whisper “Thanks.” while taking them. Bending down and out of his view, she places them next to her dresser and by the time she’s standing up he’s in her room. 

If Fez could have seen where she had been crouched over he wouldn’t have stood so close. Like there was barely fucking millimeters between them. If he had more room then maybe just maybe the wind wouldn’t be knocked out of him. Feeling her body heat radiate off her, her beautiful big eyes looking into his in the darkness, looking at her lips that must hold magnates in them because he had to force himself to stay right where he was and not smash his against hers.

 All that forcing and not breathing left silence in her room with only her breathing being heard. Since it seemed he wasn’t talking anytime soon she tries to think on her feet to not seem as awkward as she truly was. And all that came out of her mouth was a soft “Hi.”. This made Fez’s lost look change to a small smile. He replied “Hey.”. 

Is she really blushing at that? Jesus, how embarrassing is it that a small word like hey from his lips which were painfully too far away for hers could cause her to blush so fucking hard right now? To try and conceal her cheeks she looked down which probably wasn’t the brightest decision. 

It was so blaring she would have been confused why she was only just now looking at his beaten up hand, but Fez’s face existed so she didn’t question herself. Without think she let the sentence slip “Can I?” and looks back up to his doll like eyes. 

His smile was now gone and she could tell he was biting the inside of his lip but before she could feel like she violated his comfort he nodded his head. Finally stripping his gaze from her and looking to the side.

She went back to surveying his fist and let her hand go to caress his knuckles. Hearing him take a breath in she looked back at him worriedly, but he was already looking down at her. “Fez, are you okay?” she questioned sympathetically. Switching his sight again Fez replied “Life’s been worse ya know?” which immediately caused her to respond with almost an eye roll “That’s not answering my question.”. 

At first, she thought fez was taking his regular time to communicate as it was well known to anybody that had a conversation with Fez that he wasn’t necessarily a fast talker. But then the silence grew and he still wasn’t looking at her, so she opened her mouth with nothing prepared to say just hoping it would come to her in the moment like an idiot. 

She didn’t have to worry about what to say though because Fez finally spoke and looked back into her eyes with a new intensity that caused her to gulp saliva that wasn’t even in her mouth. 

“You know it doesn’t matter how high I get… I can never run away from that feelin of stress in the back of my head and let life slip away…” he paused “and I hate going to those stupid party’s, they’re always filled with annoying kids that either say two words to me buying shit off me or say the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard.” he laughed lowly “…but when you sat next to me… I…” his eyebrows contorted “I felt this comfort… like shit was alright, right now, and when you spoke it was like entertaining like every time you left I was waiting for you to come back and tell me another crazy fucking fact.” he finally smiled again but then looked down to his feet “I just cant be at home rn… you know?” taking a breath in he found her eyes “and I felt like if I’d wanna be anywhere else it be wit you”. 

Five hours, five minutes, five seconds ago she would have never thought she would have heard anything so touching, so romantic from anybody… especially Fezco. That confession left her brain completely blank. It was usually running at 200 mph but she always just chose not to share what was going on in there… since no one would listen anyways or maybe they never heard her? That felt better to believe at least. 

Oh, she should replying now, right? Shit- okay what the fuck do you say to that? Fuck fuck fuck. She was really regretting never putting herself out there with guys before (I mean it’s not they were going for her either so it wasn’t fully her fault). If she had an ounce of experience she’d know what to say to Fez but she really couldn’t think of anything like her brain was literally empty. But she can’t leave him hanging or he’ll think she’s disinterested and she was the complete opposite, so she must speak like now.

“You need water.”

Great, that was really romantic. Really communicating her feelings, isn’t she? Fez replied blinking slowly at her “huh?”. Well, the words have already started spilling out her mouth why stop now right? “When’s the last time you drank water tonight?” she questioned. “I don know?” Fez said back clearly confused about where her detour was going. “Exactly, you need to stay hydrated, stay here and I’ll get you some water.” she spits out at an unnatural speed. 

Running past her bed through her door she leaves Fez alone in the darkness of her room. Smiling at her cute and obvious awkwardness, Fez goes to sit on the end of her bed. Shuffling a little he looks down at her comforter. Sliding his hand on it to feel its softness he laughs to himself at the contrast of his roughed up hand touching her frilly and flower covered blanket. It hit him then, the pang in his heart realizing that steering himself into her perfect life with his mess of shit you could try to call a life, (you know based on the technicalities) would be selfish of him. That his danger vs her innocence would ruin her like the blood that had stained the white long sleeve shirt he was still wearing. 

Looking away to shake the realistic thoughts out of his head, Fez searched her room. Not looking for anything in particular just searching for something to take his emotions away. It landed on a polaroid of her from winter formal on the corner of her mirror. 

God, she was so beautiful he wished he could jump into the picture and transport back to that night. He'd grow a pair of balls and ask her for a dance instead of watching her from the sidelines all night. Maybe even get a kiss. His eyes kept moving around her room watching the decorations she chose to place all over. The clutter covering every surface, like her make-up and hair shit and stuffed animals and books of course she had a healthy selection. 

Then his eyes found it. Something he recognized. The deep green knit was perfectly folded on her dresser. He had forgotten about the clothing item. Not out of disinterest but just from everything else going around him at the moment didn’t leave much space for him to think of it. But she did. And she cared enough to take it with her and neatly fold it in her space. 

Her room was like a window into her brain, her otherworldly brain. everything around him made him feel like he wanted it to become a part of his daily routine, being here physically or through reminders like his clothing. He wanted to become a part of this.

A knock makes his head whip towards the door. It's soft and he can tell it’s coming from her. He walks up and before his hand reaches the knob he hears her voice softly whisper his name. Smiling at the call he opens her door fully and sees her with way more than a water. She smiles sheepishly as he gives her a questioning but humorous look “I couldn't open it with my hands full.”. He lets a laugh slip through his lips “I see dat.”. 

She walks past him into her room as he closes the door and dumps all the content onto her bed except a plate that stays in her hand. They both look down at the pile and she explains “I thought if you hadn’t had any water in awhile you probably haven’t eaten either, so I tried to make a sandwich, but I like never make them so I thought it probably won’t taste too good, so then I put chips so you don’t starve because of my terrible sandwich making skills…” Fez laughs switching his gaze to her “and then I thought your hand must hurt really badly, but we don’t have ice so I grabbed peas to work instead, and I realized that I hadn’t had water in a while either so grabbed one for myself.” she breathes out and smiles at her work while her smiles at her. 

Looking up at him she speaks “Well sit down.” and motions to her bedside. “uh sorry.” Fez murmurs and sits, grabbing the water while she hands him the plate of food “thanks.”. Without replying she reaches for the pillows he rests on shifting and fluffing them to properly support his back. Noticing her putting on the caretaker role Fez chuckles ���You know I didn’t come here for you to take care of me?” she retorts back taking her hands from the pillows “I know but you deserve to be taken care of.”. Fez doesn’t want to fight her on what he deserves and doesn’t as he knows she definitely believes he’s a better person than he actually is and is strong minded enough to argue with him over the truth he’s known all his life, so he falls silent looking at his lap. 

A dip in the bed forms as she goes to sit next to him. Handing him the plate and grabbing her water bottle and the frozen peas she sits next to him. The cold of the peas reminded her whose hand they should be in. Without thinking she grabs his and places it on her thigh to properly hold and support it, which causes Fez to place the plate on his lap. She lays the peas on his knuckles as softly as possible and he winces. A “sorry.” escapes her mouth as she looks back at Fez’s face. “It's okay just the adrenaline’s startin to wear off.” he jokes. She nods, thinking “Oh I think I have some ibuprofen in here!” Fez goes to say it’s fine but is cut off before he even begins to speak seeing her turn and bend down searching in her bedside table. “I know it’s in here.” she states. His eyes instantly go to her ass that’s basically on full display at this moment. His eyes widen and to catch his breath he looks away while also trying to adjust the plate on his lap as high as humanly possible.

“Got it!” she exclaims and goes back to her original position while pouring two pills into her hand. She then ushers her hand in front of Fez’s face expecting him to take them out off her palm with his fingers. But her whole body tenses as he connects his lips to the side of her hand using it as a funnel and quickly sipping water. Not to help them go down his throat though, as he’s mastered dry swallowing, but to help the cottonmouth that’s formed from looking into her eyes while connecting his lip to the side of her palm, damning himself for ending the interaction too quickly. 

She tried to act as nonchalant as he appears so she goes back to iceing his hand on her lap. Laughing at herself thinking about how what she was doing wouldn’t be called iceing rather peaing, which helped her slip back into the same comfort she felt sitting next to Fez on the couch earlier that night. 

“So do you wanna talk about what happened or for me to entertain you?” she looked up at him smirking. Fez smirked back replying “Entertain.”. Looking up at the ceiling she took a second to think of what she could possibly entertain Fez with. “Hm, well I know you enjoyed the history shit.” Fez laughed at her almost forgetting where his hand rested “Yeah that pee shit was wild.” his remark made her add teeth to her smile. “Well, something almost as wild as the pee shit was like… well you know about medieval art right?” his smile then grew “Do I look like I know anything about art?” he threw back to her with a quirked eyebrow. She laughed “Well arts easy like that though, you don’t really need to know about it or what it means you can just make up what you think it means.” he looked jokingly judgy towards her. 

“Arts like the OG pick your own adventure story, you know? Everyone can believe what they think it means and it’s all valid and different and even the artists original meaning doesn’t matter, and it’s even better than pick your own adventure stories cause the longer the piece of art is on earth the more meanings it can have it’s like infinite.”. Fez whispers almost under his breath “fearless…” she laughs at his comment adding “Even like something like… a leaf, that can have so many meanings in art like nature or life or death or delicate or weak, it’s never ending.” she contently smiles at him. 

“What do you think it means?” Fez asks, his eyes quickly scan her eyes then lips then eyes again. She looks straight on not being able to handle his intense stare “Uhh well the way it’s captured matters like its context, but if you asked me to just picture a leaf and what the picture I created in my head means I’d say…” she closes her eyes and Fez uses that as an opportunity to taste her sandwich just in case it’s actually bad then she wouldn’t have to see his reaction. “I’d say it means to me humankind… the way it has those lines that look like a skeleton and how they are ever changing, but are resilient through difficult circumstances and flourish after the hardest times in their lives… and all inevitably die.” she opens her eyes looking over to Fez who looks almost starstruck, which she first takes as a huge compliment but then realizes that his reaction was definitely towards the sandwich half hanging out his mouth. It made her giggle “You weren’t even listening were you?”.

She could barely speak through her laughter, but Fez swallows as quickly as possible bringing his eyebrows together “Nah nah I was.” replying “Oh really?” she looked doubtful towards him. This caused Fez to sit up straighter and state “Yeah, but I disagree with the skeleton thing I think they look more like our nerves than our bones.”. She turns away not out of embarrassment more out of trying to hide the smile that had formed from seeing that he listened. Someone actually listened to her. 

Placing the peas back on his knuckles as he continues eating her sandwich “Sorry for doubting you it just looked like you were really into the food.” she looked back at him sharing her smile “I mean yeah it’s a good sandwich.” Fez complimented. “Thanks, I tried to make it like I’ve seen my mom do I just don’t make ‘em cause the cold cuts gross me out.” she shared.

“Why would you touch ‘em if they gross you out?” Fez asked genuinely “Cus I’m not trying to starve you out of my own selfishness Fez.” she joked. “You sure know how to make a guy feel special y/n.” he smiled and took another bite which caused her to blush and look down at her lap to hide from him. 

Looking at her reaction caused Fez’s heart to warm like it was in front of a bonfire. This warmth that grew over his body made him reflex his fingers to hold onto her thigh, fully grabbing it. She went blank feeling the electricity from his touch and dampness in her pajama shorts.

“…The medieval art?” he asked, afraid he made her uncomfortable but not wanting to let go of her. “Oh yeah…” she looked up at him “Um, in a lot of medieval paintings like especially family photos women would carry ferrets.” there, she was back and he relaxed probing her to continue “Ferrets?”. She laughed “Yeah they’re like weasels, like longs furry slinky’s.” Fez almost coughed up the bite of food in his mouth from her remark which cause her to laugh “They always had these ferrets with them cause they were like a good luck charm for fertility.” Fez's eyes widened. She nodded “Yeah, wild and they would even have them in their rooms while fucking. Hoping it would help bring them a baby.” with a suggestive glance Fez asked, “You learn all dis from reading?”. 

God she was praying the absence of light in her room could hide her obvious tomato coloured cheeks. “Yeah it seems weird but at least I know to never get a ferret as a pet.” she laughed. “You ont like kids?” he questioned becoming serious all of the sudden. Blinking at him she replied “Hm? no? … I just- I wouldn’t want one anytime soon…” she said worried she offended Fez with her lame joke, but he moved past it quickly. 

“You know the more time you spend with kids you realize they smarter than adults.” taking in his words she answered with a small “hm”. 

“Like life distracts us and complicates shit and maturity is just stupidity adults hide behind.” Fez claimed. “Well if that’s true then everyone that goes to east highland are extremely mature.” she jokes causing Fez to chuckle but quickly reply “Except you.”. taken aback she lets out a breathy “really?”. She quirked her eyebrows at Fez “Yeah ma you one of the smartest women I’ve ever met.”. 

That would have been a minimal compliment from anybody except Fez, who was raised by his grandmother, one of the only people he’s ever loved, he believed she was the smartest woman in the world and claiming y/n wasn’t far behind was like saying his vows for Fez. With a genuine “thanks fez.” she looked down again shyly. 

“When’s the last time you ate?”

“Hm?” Fez’s question caused her to look back up “You went off on me not starving but what about you?”. Fez’s care made her whole body temperature go up at least 50 degrees “I- I already brushed my teeth.” she stated pointing at her lips. Fez scoffed dramatically “So did I.” which made her smile. “I care about my hygiene y/n.” Fez rolled his eyes to make her laugh even more “Sorry Fez.” she joined in on the joke making her movements more comical. “So have a chip to earn my forgiveness.” He angled the plate towards her “But it’ll make my breath stink.” she argued “And the mustard on that sandwich hasn’t made mine?” he pushed. She looked into Fez’s eyes deeper, confessing “Fez you could smell like literal dog shit and I wouldn’t care.”. he wasn’t sure if that statement was supposed to make his dick twitch but the knowledge that her seemingly sarcastic joke was her way of saying she liked being around him, made blood continue to rush to his groin. 

Fez picked up a chip and silently placed it on her lips which she rolled her eyes at, but took in her mouth. “Mhm that’s good.” she moaned as she grabbed more from his plate. Fez was just trying to make it look like the feeling of her lips on his fingers didn’t make him feel like he could hear angels sing and almost completely forget about the bloody things he had done a couple of hours earlier. 

She went on to explain to Fez how one of Amrita Sher-Gil’s portraits was basically the first diss track, as she felt he enjoyed her ramblings on fertility ferrets in medieval paintings enough to talk about one of her favourite painters. 

Fez could tell she was getting tired since her speech almost started to become as slow as his and seeing that she ate all of the contents on his plate a while ago he thought he’d suggest for her to get some rest. “Ma, I don’t wanna keep you up you should get sum sleep.” Fez turned his head towards her resisting the urge to cup her face. She yawned “Fine, but you have to stay.”. 

Fez looked into her eyes contemplating leaving in case she’d do something she’d regret “…fine.”. She smiled jumping up like she had gained all her energy back. Grabbing his plate and now thawed bag of peas she ran on her tiptoes out of the room. 

With the click of the door, Fez was left in silence. He felt his phone vibrate grabbing to unlock it. 

“ash: where tf u @????”

“fez: im out.”

“ash: u think it a good idea bein' out rn?”

“fez: ill be back in the morn.”

“ash: where r u fez”

“fez: ill be back in the morning.”

“ash: fuck FINE”

Fez was so annoyed with Ashtrays interrogation he didn’t hear her door open. "What are you doing?” Fez jumped a little “I was texting Ashtray” she came closer standing in front of the bed. “No I mean what you’re wearing, I thought only psychopaths wear jeans when they sleep?” now fully in bed, swaddled in her comforter she looked up at him waiting. Fez anxiously chuckled. if she asked him to cut off both his legs right now looking at him like that… he’d do it. 

“Aite close your eyes.” he said standing up. She quickly covered her eyes with her palms. "You have boxers on right?” She felt the bed dip and comforter open “Yes I have boxers on.”.

Taking her hand off her face, she looked into his eyes “I ain’t a man whore y/n.” Fez smirked at her which made her smile. “I know that.” she whispered as their faces were now as close as they were when he first came through her window. they smiled and looked into each other's eyes till Fez said softly ���come er.”. She happily scooted into him, holding onto his upper waist and laying her head on his chest trying not to be too loud when sniffing in his scent. Fez held onto her waist and shoulder, keeping her as close to his body as possible looking down at her she said “you know for a non-man whore you sure do give it up fast for the first night.”. Fez laughed at her like her jokes could never get old or stop completely surprising him. She continued “if you wanted to cuddle me so badly you could have just said that at the beginning and we’d be here way faster.”. “am I really giving off that vibe?” Fez laughed. “no I’m just teasing you.” she said scrunching her face. 

He looked into her eyes like he wanted to devour her which made what he then said surprising to y/n “You know this ain’t a date right?”. With her confidence now depleted she felt embarrassed and rejected even though she was joking before and had her legs tangled with his. She scoffed trying to play it cool “Yeah Fez, jeez I’m not a kid.” he looked confused saying “Nah nah I know I mean… if I took you on a date, it be like a real date like to the diner or sum romantic shit.” he ended confidently. “oh.” she looked down now blushing then looked back up at him “Well if you asked me to go on a date to some romantic place like the diner… I’d say yes.”. fez smiled with his teeth “Would you go on a date wit me y/n?” he questioned with audible excitement. “I’d love to… but you can't ghost me, can't leave after tonight with no texts and expect me to wait by the phone for you.”. “Pft like I’d do that?” he played but y/n’s face became humourless “Fez.”. “I promise, I promise!” he said almost lifting his hands up to show defeat “good.” y/n smiled rubbing her cheek into his chest. With her eyes closed, she finally allowed herself to lull to bed. 

Fez felt regret at that moment. He wished he would have lied to y/n. He should have convinced her he wasn’t hungry. Maybe if he didn’t down the sandwich she made him he’d be able to grow some balls and kiss her. But he was too insecure about his breath and wanted the first time he kissed her to be perfect. So he just looked down at her in adoration knowing that if he hadn’t of acted on his gut tonight he wouldn’t be falling asleep with a smile on his face and the girl of his dreams in his arms. 

Then it hit him. How innocent she was compared to him, how cruel he was compared to her delicate nature. Scared that by bringing her into his life he would break her like the leaves she once talked to him about. But he never felt the way he does about her for anyone else, in all honesty, he never thought he would. Fezco always imagined having a girlfriend as something that would do more bad than good. Sure he has had casual sex but he never muttered more than five words at them just wanting to get from point a to b not really caring who with. Dealing with a whole girlfriend on top of all of his other extreme stressors seemed pointless. He'd never thought he would want to open up to someone that deeply or have feelings for someone that was even close to love. But with y/n… he wanted it all. To learn everything about her, to share everything about himself with her, to become a part of her life, to spend more moments wrapped in each other’s arms, to listen to her ramble about her random interests, to laugh with her, to make love with her, to love her and to protect her… He knew if he was going to allow himself to try his wants with her he’d have to promise to himself that’d he would protect her in any way possible.

[chelleztjs18]

Half Love (Ch. 5) - Unspoken Questions

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader ; Katie McGrath x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n's relationship with Lizzie has been in a rough situation and goes downhill. What should Y/n do when there's no choice left to say and a new future opens up with someone new in it?

Warning: This is a collaboration book with my co-writer / friend @stonemags and it’s an 18+ series. Angst, angst, fluff, smut, and swearing words. I do not own any pictures, GIFs, name, brand, song titles and anything I use in this story.

A/N: Hello! Welcome back to this series! Thank you for your patience for the updates. We hope you enjoy the emotional ride in this one. Happy Reading.

Series Masterlist

Lizzie texts Scar that she'll go with you. She follows you walking to the car, watching you from behind for a bit as you walk. Adoring the view and your perfume that passes through her face, evoking her nose as the wind blows it her direction. She always loves how you smell. As she finally picks up her pace and catches up with you, a thought pops up. How could she forget how much she loved your scent? The smell of you was addictive. She forgot when was the last time she cherished it or the smile your face patched only for her. She forgot when was the last time she appreciated your…presence and everything about you. These series of thoughts rapidly bounce all over her mind until you call her name.

“Liz? Are you okay?” You ask. “Huh? Y-yeah. Yeah.” She blinks a few times as she comes back from her train of thoughts. “Well okay, hop in.” You open the passenger door for her like you always did.  “Thank you s— uh y/n.” She stutters as she tries to thank you and she gets into your car. The same car you always had. The view of you opening the door for her feels like a time machine.It brings out a lot of memories of how you always opened the door for her or all the dates you both had and the pet name she used to call you with, almost slipped out because of it. Luckily, she blocks it fast enough before you notice it.

She doesn’t know where you are taking her. The only thing you told her was it’s 20 minutes away. It might not sound too long for you to be in a car ride with her. Or does it? Her mind questions that and it’s dying to know the answer. Because for her, it sounds like a long ride or if she can add, it’s an emotionally difficult one. She sits awkwardly. You don’t say a word like you used to do when you both were in a car ride. She can’t help but notice you still do your habit while driving, resting your right arm lazily on the center console, so close to her while your hand sometimes on the gear. Your finger taps on gear following the music you play and the only differences are you are not holding her hand nor talking much with her. You used to always hold her hand or occasionally pull it to your lips to kiss it. You used to talk a lot with her or even sing for her. She can’t believe she misses all of that now. She is thinking all of these memories that were long stored in the back of her mind and almost forgotten way before the day you left.

You are not immune to those memories either. You didn’t expect they would be trespassing your mind. Well, apparently the memories that you thought that all long gone, buried somewhere God knows, found its way back to your mind. You are not happy about it but it subconsciously soothes some part of your heart you didn’t know long for. It’s like a drop of rain on the Sahara desert, it’s unexpected but it’s not enough to cool down the whole desert. Those sweet memories are not enough to fix your wrecked heart. You are fighting it. You are not letting this 20 minutes car ride drag you back to square one with her.

She steals glances at you. Gosh, this is a painful car ride for her but she doesn’t want this to end. Being in this moving steel box with you, tricks her brain to forget the heartbreak she has been having since you left. Your hand and fingers that she is dying to touch, to entwine them with hers. She misses you, she misses everything.

“Two weeks ago, I went to the bakery we used to go to.” She breaks the silence. “Oh really? How was it?” You shift your sitting position as if you are preparing yourself for another memory invasion that will come from the conversation she started. “They still make your favorite pastry. Oh Henry still works there. He asked about you and said Hi to you.” A small smile of sadness slowly formed on her face, you know it was probably because of the moments you both had there when you were still together. Yeah, memories, memories and memories. They are the main culprit that makes this whole situation difficult between you and her but you put all of the effort you can to fight it. You try to act cool about it. “Oh really? He’s still there? Last time he said he wanted to retire and let his kids run the bakery and that was like a few years ago.” You answer casually.

“That was exactly what I said to him when I saw him and all he did was laugh. He–uh didn’t know what happened to us, so he gave me two of those pastries you like for me to give to you.” Her smile slowly slid down.

“Oh.. well he always does that. If I come there, he probably would do the same and give me your favorite pumpkin bread to give to you.” You shrug your shoulders without even sharing a gaze with her as you respond as if it’s just something usual that happens, nothing big. Nothing special. Once again, the casualty you show makes her wonder if you have moved on from her that easy. “Yeah. You are right.” She answers. Just like that, everything falls back into silence until you arrive at where you are taking her.

_____

“Are you sure we can park here? It’s a private spot.” She asks. “Yeah I know. It’s mine. Come on, it’s a 5 minutes walk.” You answered.

You finally get to a small cozy coffee shop. You casually greet the lady behind the counter as you walk in. She smiles at you and her eyes flicks between you and Lizzie. “Hi y/n, the usual?” The lady asks. “Hi Jess, can you actually give us a sec and a more private place, please?” You politely ask. “Yeah sure, just go upstairs. Your spot is free right now.” She smiles. “Thank you Jess.”

You walk to where the lady said followed by Lizzie. Confused at first but she finally connects the dots and asks “This is your usual place to get coffee?” She asks and a silent nod is all she gets from you as an answer.

You both sit at a cozy corner table near the window. She is not surprised that it’s your spot, it’s everything you like. Cozy, soft light, soft music plays near the window for you sometimes people watching. She thought the more time she spends with you today the easier it gets for her to be around you. Worse luck, she is wrong. She is still nervous and her mind is all over the place now, uncontrollably. She wonders what is actually beneath that calm and quiet exterior of yours. She can’t tell if you are nervous too or not. It’s slowly but surely driving her crazy.

You break the silence. “Okay, Liz. Just so you know, it’s awkward, first you have to stop staring at me like I’m some kind of a ghost or something.”

She is surprised with what you just said and instantly turns her cheeks red. "Oh. Shit. Uh, sorry y/n.." You coldly interrupted her. "Second, we will be working together and it's a big chance for the both of us so let's try to be civil and professional with each other, yeah?" Your straight forward statement felt like a dagger stabs through her chest.

She is confused and feels like she is in a limbo. At one moment you were sweet but then you gave her cold shoulders. She can't figure it out but she doesn't want to let you make her feel that she is under your grip. So she subtly fights back and plays along the way you want to play it..

“Okay then, let’s go through breaking the ice so we can be like you said.. Civil “ She answers as she does an air quotation mark on the last word and she lets out a forced smile.

She clears her throat before she continues. "So--uh what happened after you...after we uh--..what happened for the past year and a half?" Her smile slowly curves down to frown but then she tries to hide it by looking away for a quick second. You take a deep breath before you start to answer her question. “A lot and not  so much at the same time, I moved in with John. He helped me get through everything and then I moved to New York. I got a chance to play at Lincoln Center for the performing arts and I took it. I saved up some money." You tell her casually. Your eyes keep coming back searching for her warm green eyes sprinkled with gold speckles no matter how hard you try to avoid it. You can’t lie how much you miss those eyes that you always adore.

Her eyes sparkle with excitement and pride for you and oh boy, that’s one of your favorite things for you to see in her eyes so it’s just getting harder for you. “Oh my God! That’s great! It’s like one of the best places. I had lessons there when I was younger. It was such a magical place!” Her excitement slips out of her control and she spontaneously holds your hands. This time your breath hitches softly right after you feel the warmth of her hands on yours. You swiftly pull your hands away.

Lizzie pulls her hands away awkwardly right after that. “Uh-I-I’m sorry, y/n. I got carried away. I was too excited for you, you always wanted to play at New York’s theaters. It has been your dream. Sorry.” She tucks her hair behind her ears nervously as she slowly blushes and it’s obvious to you.

You shake your head slowly as you answer “It’s okay, Liz. No worries.” You can hear your heartbeat in your ears. That quick touch from her feels like a quick shot of tranquilizer and it weakens your hands and knees. It feels like you slowly float up to cloud nine but you quickly pull yourself back down. “But, I gotta say, I miss those feelings I used to get from holding your hands.” Her stomach does somersaults instantly. She curses herself internally why on earth she would say that to you.

“Remember, Liz. Let’s keep it professional.” You remind her as your hands go to the edge of the tables and unthinkingly hold it to fight the urge to grab her hands back.

“Right..Right. Keep it professional. I’m sorry.” Her gaze jumps around from one spot to another except yours. She pulls her hand off the table and keeps them on her lap for a little while. “Where is the waitress? I need some water.” She is acting all nervous and awkward.

“She’ll be here soon, Liz.” You answer. “Oh okay. Good. Well, how is your family?” She is relieved that she finally picked something to talk about. “All good and healthy. They visited me a month ago.” You reply as calmly as you can. “Well that’s good. Oh and how is Luke? I miss him.” She tries to sound as positive as she can in front of you as she draws a smile across her face.

“Yeah… me too. He’s gone.” You respond and grief sounds clear in your voice from your best friend's death. Lizzie gasped in such surprise and instantly felt massive sadness as if she could feel it from you. “Oh my God. You, Luke and John were best buddies. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that he–” You suddenly cut her off. “How would you know?”

Before Lizzie could say anything to your snarky comment, the waitress came to take your order. Despite how you act just not to her, you ask her “You want the usual?”

The awkward Lizzie can only nod to your question. You order her coffee, yours and a dessert for both of you to share.

“What about you tell me what happened to you for the past year and a half?” You try to look as casual as you can when you ask her even though internally you feel the need to know. She is actually caught off guard with your question despite her act looks as if your question doesn’t have any effect on her.

Her mouth feels dry, her mind is fuzzy. Rapidly thinking what’s the right word or how to answer your question. “Uh, what happened to me? Um, okay. Well–” She clears her throat, shifts her sitting position a little bit hoping it will shake off her nervousness. “I have been busy with work and work. I meant–”

“Well, so nothing new? Just you with your work. I should’ve known.” You didn’t let her finish her sentence by once again your bitter comment. “No. No. Jesus, y/n. Can you let me finish? I was trying to answer your question and it is not easy.” She quickly tackled your comment. She can’t hold herself back to slightly argue back at you after how you acted to her and your cold words. “I thought you wanted us to be civil?” She adds as she returns your own words against you. What you hear from her makes you bite your tongue, thinking if you are too harsh to her.

“Fine. Fine. Okay.” You look at her expression that makes your stomach turn to a knott and your heart pounding through your chest. Your eyes accidentally catch her lips in your sight, you quickly look down for a few seconds only to see her finger wearing her promise ring. It does make you feel something in your heart that you can’t decipher. Now, you are thinking maybe looking straight at her face or those lovely green eyes is the easier choice to do right now. You cross your arms chest in a protective stance from any other ambush on your heart as you see her start to talk again.

“Well, I’m not gonna lie to you, everything was hard for me since that morning you uh–left. I was lost but I got through all those. I had to. I buried myself in work. When I didn’t work, I stayed at home alone. I learn more about cooking. I tried to cook your recipe once.” She answers so softly, trying to suppress all the emotion in her as she speaks.

“Oh okay—” You pause and subtly inhale. You don’t know how to react to the first half of her answer. “So, which recipe? Your favorite stew?” You ask and pick the cooking topic to talk about just to make the conversation as light as possible. She nods as she notices what is exactly what you are doing. “How was it?” You ask again.

“It wasn’t as good as how you always make it, plus you weren’t there singing around the kitchen with the spatula in your hand as your mic.” She answers followed by a bitter chuckle as she lowers her head, avoiding eye contact with you. You try not to let yourself slowly submerge into the memories with her hence the silence from you after that.

The stillness between you starts to recreate the iceberg between you that she has been trying to break and she hates it. "I tried to bake a pie." She awkwardly continues. You can see her effort to break the tension.

One memory pops up as soon as you hear what she just told you but you try to ignore it and once again you try to keep your cool and ask her casually. "How did it turn out?"

"I burnt it." She looks embarrassed but she raises her right index fingers as soon as you are going to say something and says "BUT.. not as bad as I did before. I know what you were thinking." She interrupts. 

"You meant that time when the burnt pie made the smoke detector beeping like crazy?" You can't help yourself to mention that memory. She lay her arms on the table and leaned a little more on the table, being a little less tense.

"Yes,that day. You ran out of the shower only with a towel and panicked, all wet but then you slipped and fell in an awkward position." She accidentally slips out a little laugh. And there it is, your other weakness from her. The sound of her laughter and that smile. Your heart skittered. Warmth spreads in your heart and pain shoots through it at the same time. One side of you wants to hear more and the other is trying to ignore that contagious laugh, because you know you shouldn’t miss the sound of it and the feelings you got from it.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh at you slipping and falling but it was really funny.” She lets out another little laugh and just like that, it broke the ice you both thought was hard to break. You are betrayed by your own body. You uncross your arms from your chest then your shoulders slowly roll down. Your lips curved to a smile subconsciously. “Funny, huh? You should see your face. It was a mix of panicked, trying hard holding a laugh but confused between helping me first or taking care of that burnt pie. Yeah, imagine that.” You no longer have control over yourself, you finally respond to Lizzie’s memory trip with you.

“Baking was never really your thing, Liz.” Eye contacts finally made and trapped between you two. “I know. That day, I was just trying to make your favorite pie for your birthday surprise.” She presses her lips as she responds to your comment softly. She doesn’t know if she should smile or frown from the sweet yet painful memory.

“Yeah, I…remember that.” You reply and your voice slowly fades on the last two words as you break eye contact. You and Lizzie instantly look down on the table at the same time awkwardly. No words were found between you two until the waitress came with your order.

As soon as the waitress put the decent size dessert cake in the middle and two small spoons wrapped with a napkin, Lizzie asks politely “Uh, can we get two small plates please?”

“Sure.” The waitress answers but as she turns around you stop her. “It’s okay, Jess. You don’t have to. It will save you a trip.”

You slide the dessert closer to her as she looks at you bewilderedly. “You’ll love this. Try it.” You insist, leaving no room for her to refuse. She cuts a little bite with her spoon and gives it a try. “Wow. This is delicious.” She comments. You give her a dampened smile as you nod to respond to her comment.

She then slowly and silently slides the plate back to the middle to share it with you. You grab your spoon and take a small bite of it. Her hopes kindled. She doesn’t mind the silence right now even though you are confusing her. You don’t say a word to her yet you share a cake with her from one plate like you both used to do. Not that she is complaining about it. It’s another thing that tricks her brain to forget that both of you are not together anymore. This is like a few minutes of sweet treat for her broken heart after a year and a half.

_____

“I didn’t bring my scripts. We can just use yours.” You suggest. “Sure but it’s at my apartment. Should we just check out the scripts at my place?” She internally begged that you agree. You agree. You take care of the check and you both get ready to leave.

As you walk out of the coffee shop, you turn left to where you parked your car but she grabs your hand to stop you. You are surprised and spontaneously look at her hand holding yours. It instantly reminds you and Lizzie of the last time you were at her house before you left with the rest of your stuff. She quickly lets your hand go. “S–Sorry. My place is a block away this way. We can just walk.” She points to the right as she tells you. You nod and you walk with her.

“Do you mind if we stop to buy some wine?” She asks as she looks at you and waits for your answer. You nod. “Sure, a little liquid of courage won’t harm.”

You stand behind her, waiting for her to open the door of her apartment. You both walked into her well furnished one bedroom apartment. “This is it. Welcome to my temporary home here.” Her hands swing as if she is presenting something. She tries to hide her excitement that you are actually here with her, at her place.

Meanwhile, you feel something in you. Something odd but somewhat comfortable, being in her place with her. It’s a lie if you said you don’t feel like you are reliving the feelings of being home with her, the same feelings you had back in L.A.

You look around subtly and quickly. You see her favorite navy blue throw blanket on the couch that you bought her for Christmas. It’s the one that you used to fold for her everytime she was done using it. You notice her touch in the apartment, some of them are just like the one she added at your and her home. You see a little coffee cup holder stand next to the coffee machine the way she likes it. You remember how you want the cups to be organized in the cabinet but she wants to keep some cups next to the coffee machine so it will be faster and reachable for her. You can’t help but notice how she puts a decorative bowl for keys just like how it is back at her home.

“It’s a nice place.” You comment casually. “Yeah, I picked this because it’s the closest to the set and it’s a nice one.” She explains and sounds more relaxed. She grabs the script from her room. Your eyes followed her walking to her room then you pulled out your phone to distract your mind from her and you found there was a text from Katie but you ignored it and you end up just mindlessly scrolling your phone. You try to gain control back over your mind.

She comes back and sits on the couch that finally tangled your attention to her again. “Here we go. Come, sit here.” She looks up to you as her right hand pat the empty space next to her with her left holds the scripts.

You remove the throw blanket, you casually fold it nicely out of habits. “You bring this with you?” She looks at you. “Yeah, it’s my favorite and it’s from you.” She answers as her eyes haven’t left you. You put the folded blanket on the arm of the couch. “You haven’t changed at all.” She comments on what you were doing. “You haven’t either.” You reply as you sit next to her.

She looks at you, internally admiring you. You swallow hard and clear your throat. “Shall we check out the scripts now?” You brought her back from her daze. “Oh y-yeah. Sorry.”

Being caught red handed, clouds her mind and she doesn't realize she keeps holding the scripts. This is the first time the two of you have been so close to each other for a long time.

You can’t avoid stealing glances at her since you both left the cafe. She clears her throat and breaks the silence. “So you are totally okay with it? seeing from how calm you are." Lizzie asks and it grabs your attention instantly.

"Okay with what? What are you talking about?" You drag your sight to her with a perplexed look. "Oh. You didn't know. Uh, you play as my character's love interest." She explains slowly, trying to anticipate your reaction.

"Wait. Wait. Wait. What??" You exclaim in great shock. Your face loses its color in a split second. Your heart jumped up to your throat and it felt like it thumped right to your ears.

"I know..I know.. I was just as shocked as you are now. I found out about it this morning from Scar--" She is interrupted by noticing your uncomfortable state. "Y/n, are you okay?" She asks as she sees your breathing start to fasten up a little bit.

You feel anxious. It's harder than you thought it would be. You thought you could handle it, working with her. It would be easier if you don't play as her love interest or will it be this difficult no matter who you play as? You don’t even know the answer. All of the sudden all of the pain you felt two years ago came back. You start to think about quitting. “I–I can’t do this role. No. No. It’s too much. I should quit.” You mumble under your breath but clear enough for her to hear you.

An alarm rings in her mind. "What? No, y/n. Don't quit. You can do this. Look at me..look at me please." Her hands are now cupping both sides of your face. “Y/n sweetie, I need you to focus on my voice, okay? Focus on the sound of it.” She tells you gently. You try to focus on her voice, it soothes you but too many thoughts come in.

“Don’t worry. You’ll do great. We’ll be as professional as we can. I know we can do it. Please. Please don’t leave the role. Don’t quit.” Her hand gently strokes your hair back away from your face. Her voice breaks a little. A weight settled on her heart. Her heart aches thinking about it. She doesn't know what's going on. She thought she would refuse the role if she knew you were in it but now she wants you to stay.

Why? The question that pops up even though she tries to focus to calm you down, to convince you to stay.

Then the question becomes a real one. She hears your voice asking the same word and she quickly hopes you didn't mean the same question.

"What did you mean?" She lets out a confused expression on your question. "Why do you care so much for me not quitting?" You ask with a little bitterness and urge to know.

As if your question got her tongue, she can't answer it in an instance. Her mind rapidly thinks, even asks herself why and answers it at the same time.

"Tell me, Liz. Why do you care so much?" You repeat the question and it makes her feel like she was being pushed to the edge.

"Because I-- because I know this is your chance to go big in your acting career. You are a great actress. I want you to succeed." Her eyes start to glisten. She told you the truth but it wasn't the actual answer. It wasn't the main reason. She can't tell you that. She doesn't want to look vulnerable in front of you by telling you why.

She prefers to keep it herself no matter how hurtful it is. She needs to convince you to stay because this..this is the only way and her only chance to be around you...to try her best to fix everything and win your heart back.

As you are thinking about her answer, your eyes are suddenly trapped on a framed picture of both of you that she puts on the little shelf next to the couch. It hurts you to see it. It hurts like hell. The calmness you almost reach instantly is replaced by even a bigger tornado of feelings.

You are helpless from all sorrow and vexation. Anger roared inside your head, pushing you closer and closer to one question that you always wanted to ask her two years ago or every time you both argued but you never did. You never asked her because you cared too much that It will hurt her if you asked her.

Right now, you are at the point you can no longer keep it because that question keeps clawing your heart deeper and deeper. It's unbearable for you.

You look deep into her eyes. She feels your gaze as if it slices her soul. "Be honest with me, Elizabeth." Her breath hitches. She hates it, it hurts her to hear her first name slip out of your lips that makes her feel forced to accept that both of you are strangers to each other. She nods in defeat.

Your lips slightly open letting out a shaky breath as if it's trying to stall you not to ask the question but you finally ask her "Have you--have you ever cheated on me?"

Her breath hitches once more from the question. Your question feels like a spear stabs through her. Her eyes rounded and her jaw dropped. She can barely breathe. She is as shocked as possible, making her lose her words.

The few seconds of silence from her lead you to your own conclusion. You thought it's enough to answer your question. You stand up then grab your coat.

Lizzie quickly grabs your hand to stop you from leaving. "Oh no. No. No. You are not leaving right now, y/n." She demands then she quickly stands up.

"What the fuck was that question, y/n? You know I would never do that to you!" She continues in an offended tone. You pull your hand away from her and she loses her grip on you. She clenches her fists and tries not to get lost in her anger from your question.

"Do I? Do I, really?" You replied with sarcasm, and as you are ready to leave, her question stops you again. Rage bottled up inside you. "What was that supposed to mean?" She retorts. Her eyebrows furrowed in such vexation.

You walk closer to her as you talk. "Did YOU.." You pause as you realize that you raised your voice. "Did you really think that leaving me alone all the time, always coming home late, ditching me on our dates or forgetting about my birthday would not make me suspect something? Think for a fucking second on how did it look like from my perspective, Liz?” Your voice slowly rises and fills with more and more emotion.

“I know I wasn’t an angel!” She retorts. You instantly scoff at her words.she tilts her head at your reaction, extremely offended by your scoff. “But cheating? Really? That’s how low you think of me??” She simmered in anger. Her annoyance flared and her voice raised just like yours.

You clenched your jaw then you answered her on the top of your lungs. “It’s not about what I think of you! It’s about how you made me feel, Lizzie!" Your pulse slammed in your neck, almost breaking a scream. Pain, sadness and anger are all mixed together and made their way to her ears.

You look down to avoid her gaze. You feel so vulnerable right now and look so broken. Lizzie notices that easily and shifts her steps closer to you slowly.

"Y/n, look at me...Just… please…Look at me…" She pleads with a shaky breath and low voices. You bring back your heads up to look at her glossy eyes. "I have never ever cheated on you. Never. I promise, y/n." She explains slowly with quite a firm tone to add assurance in her answer.

You look away as you say "Don't promise me anything. I don't believe in promises… especially if they are from you. I'll see you at work." You make your way to the front door and leave her in silence. You didn't even give her a chance to answer you. You slam the door as you walk out.

She slowly sits down, tears escape from her eyes. Silence fills the room as she starts to sobs from everything that just happened. "I never cheated on you." She says it under her shaky breath. Trying to bear the heartache that she feels right now.

After you walked out of her place, you really couldn’t walk right away. Too much is going on emotionally and physically right now for you. Despair drags you down and numbness infuses your body. You are trying hard to hold back your tears. You keep telling yourself that everything between you and her is over. You inhale and exhale multiple times to calm yourself down and to ignore the old pain that you already forgot existed. Once you feel that you are back on your feet, you pull out your earphones from your pocket and play " I Caught Myself" by Paramore loudly. You walk back home while you are lost in your own world.

A/N: Welp, that's it folks! Let us know what you think. Your reblog, and comments are highly appreciated! Follow me for more. See you in next! Thank you.

Cheerio!

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