#Oh My God 2 review
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afabstract · 7 months ago
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OMG 2 Review - The Gods Must Be Nosy
Kanti Sharan Mudgal is an ardent devotee of Lord Shiva who is content running a small shop. However, when his son is unjustly expelled from an international school due to a video made by bullies, Kanti takes the school to court and challenges the educatio
⭐⭐⭐ Rating: 3 out of 5. Sneha Jaiswal (Twitter | Instagram) The 2012 film “OMG: Oh My God” was a rib-tickling, witty court drama about an ordinary shopkeeper taking God to court when his shop is destroyed in an earthquake and his insurance company refuses to compensate him, citing the tragedy as an “act of God.” The movie entertainingly challenged blind faith and self-styled Godmen/Godwomen.

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culttonotfollow · 1 year ago
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Why I love “Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice” so much
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So as I stated, I'm writing a post about my experience with this game and why I think it's as good as it is, including my favourite aspects of it. To this day it's my favourite game and one of the few I've managed to 100% complete.
This post is going to include spoilers. Do not read if you do not want spoilers.
Disclaimer out of the way, I actually want to start by saying that before this game was recommended to me by a friend (thank you, Markus- shout out to you), I had no idea what it was about other than the fact that it dealt in some way with mental health. I mostly forgot about it until I saw it on sale sometime in October (it might have been the Halloween sale), at which point I made the decision to purchase it.
To begin with, the visuals are stunning—beautiful and terrifying at the same time. And just to get mechanics out of the way so I can ramble about the story and the way it made me feel—some of the puzzles are challenging at first, but they are so rewarding after you figure them out that I almost didn't mind the difficulty. The fighting feels almost perfect, particularly with the autobalancing option.
The premise of the game is that Senua, a Celtic warrior with severe mental illness, sets out on a journey to the homeland of the Northmen after discovering what had happened to her lover, planning to enter Helheilm, the mythological land of the dead, or what would be considered hell, and retrieving his soul through bargaining with Hela (or Hel, as she's more commonly known). Throughout the entire game- with the exception of a segment in the story- she wears his skull on her belt, wrapped in a cloth.
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The Game uses sound to mess with you??
The game throws you right in with whispers bouncing all around your head (even during the menu when you first open the game)- I will never not applaud Ninja Theory for their choice of using binaural sound (here is an article by Splice on what it is), otherwise it wouldn't be what it is. This is one of the few experiences where the classic "Best experienced with headphones" recommendation should be taken seriously.
As you paddle past, well, burnt, staked and hung corpses that don't make it less tense either, the voices get progressively louder and more erratic until you don't know how many there are anymore or where they're coming from, urging Senua to turn back or calling her a coward in many different ways- with the exception of a few, who actually argue with the others and encourage Senua to push on.
There have been moments when the voices stopped for a little while, but by the time I realized there was nothing in the background anymore except for my own racing thoughts, I was already somewhat uneasy.
To add on to that, one of the trials Senua goes through relies solely on intuition an hearing to get throught the darkness safely, with an extremely limited field of view. I can safely say that was when I was most terrified and hyperfocused in my 12 hours of gameplay. I have to admit after my first run I went to bed and the whispers were still there because of how much I was hearing them the past several hours.
Mindfuckery taken to the next level
I spent the majority of the game in awe, watching the story unfold in front of my eyes. A lot of games or franchises, in my opinion, struggle to make their characters feel human, but Hellblade managed to do it. Even equipped with a sword, I felt vurnelable at all times, the game does a great job at causing anxiety even during the most mundane moments.
There isn't a combat tutorial of any kind; you have to either figure out the "guide" is in the menu, or keep failing the first battle until you figure it out. The game actually only gives you a single prompt in regards to combat: Each time you fail (die), the rot on Senua's arm spreads, and when it reaches her head all progress is lost. This alone made me so much more conscious of every move I was making for over half the game, until I learned the truth.
It's not an actual mechanic, it's only put in place as a warning to add another thick layer of tension to every other already existing, anxiety inducing element of the game, and further enforce the game's primary goal of distorting your perception: what's real and what's not, what/who can you actually trust, what is the truth? It brought me anxiety to the point where it was borderline uncomfortable, and that's exactly why I loved it so much.
I spent the majority of this game in awe, just watching the story unfold. Every twist or reveal felt like a gut punch (in the best way I could mean this), and it made Senua (the girl you play as) feel human, something not a lot of games can do properly in my opinion. This game uses everything in its arsenal to create a truly dreadful experience: visuals, audio, light, combat, etc. without abusing jumpscares or scary monsters (although fighting Fenrir scared the ever loving hell out of me, but so did dealing with him in general). Rather, it capitalizes on its strongest suit: the childlike fear of what lies in the dark- what might occur if the dark really does take control.
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The ending made me question my entire purpose (sort of)
It's going to sound weird, or insane, but the ending changed me as a person I think. It made me seriously reconsider some major things in my life, and take a moment to appreciate some others. It's both some sort of psychological torture or terror and an enlightening experience. It brought me to tears and left me completely speechless for what felt- and actually was- hours.
In its own very special and well done way, it's not strictly a game about a girl that's gone mad, or a quest about retrieving a soul, but it sucessfully and sensibly touches upon themes of grief, loss, and folklore. I can safely say I've never been more immersed or touched by a game on every single level. There are tens of memorable moments that I think back on, and I can't believe I got through every single one of these.
The ending took a twist for me. It was far from what I expected, but I think that's what made me as satisfied as it did- and yet it left me wanting even more. Which is why I'm so incredibly pumped for when the sequel comes out. Despite warning about spoilers, I won't actually say how it ended. I'll let whoever reads this discover for themselves one way or another.
Conclusion?
I recommend this game with my whole heart to whoever can handle these kinds of topics. It's beautiful, the story is heartbreaking, the gameplay is fun, and the visuals are beyond gorgerous.
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pondslime · 1 year ago
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book review culture is so funny
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asiancyborg · 1 year ago
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do u guys kno. just how much i screwed myself over
#BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE NORMAL?????#listen. listen. i could have just. asked to take two weeks off when i first got the job. but i was scared they wouldn't give me the job#if i told them right off the bat#and so i waited a decent amount of time to tell them. and then i was going to tell them. but i got scared thinking that they might fire me#or it would reflect badly on me and i haven't had the job for even 3 months yet and i have a performance review at the end of the 3 months#and the thing i am scared of most in the world is when people who are in positions of authority over me express disapproval#so i was just like. ok i guess i'm not going on this trip that's been planned for over a year and for my grandmas 80th#i will just be so sad and miserable about it and make it everyone else's problem#and then. and then. finally. 2 weeks left until everyone leaves for the trip and i finally bring it up to my coworkers being like#oh yea my whole entire family is going on a big trip without me and i'm rlly sad that i can't go#and they looked at me like. why cant u go? and i was like. what do u mean? cuz i'm new i don't have rights#and they were like. what is wrong with u#and i looked at them and said literally everything#listennnn there is a corporate heirarchy and i am at the bottom of the ladder#i know my place and i'm so used to groveling and begging oh my god i need to get a grip pls#am i normal#please tell me cuz i can't tell is. it normal to be this scared and frightened all the time#like. am i the only one who thinks this way.
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poptartmochi · 1 year ago
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unfathomable emotions after showering
also.. i hit tag limit on this, so watch out for a very long post if you hit read more on the tags! 😹
#it is frustrating that overall it is fine for customers to use retail/service employees like punching bags. this guy will have no#repercussions for cussing me out beyond the pre-existing frustration that his order isn't ready because it was placed after our deadline#it is frustrating that you can't really defend yourself because 1) it takes too much time and there's too much else to do.#better to let them have the upper hand in their minds 2) they can take anything you saw and spin it against you in a review#like... 😞 i couldn't even get a word in against this guy. honestly i think he was using me as a stress toy because his kid is getting in#trouble for not having uniforms. which really sucks‚ I understand and empathize with that! but to react in such a way is unacceptable#it's common sense that a mom and pop shop will not process your order until the next business day if you ordered outside of their business#hours. i had to explain the way this particular school's ordering system worked to this guy the last time he was in. i provided multiple#alternatives to contacting us that he never utilized. like.. he had the tools to understand everything and instead of using them he decided#to erupt. and because I'm the poor fuck that works the counter‚ i got to be on the receiving end of this. i should know better than to be#upset about it (the eelness talking. everyone else was mad when he left) but. it's also fair to not want to be cussed out over something as#small as school uniforms! đŸ€š#and don't even get me started on school uniforms.. yes my entire job rn is selling them BUT oh my god. i hate them. they shouldn't be a#thing. especially when these schools cost an arm and a leg in admission + then the uniforms easily cost another#*$100. the entire practice seems evil to me but also it's the family business so. 😭. the way these schools do it also undermines the entire#point of school uniforms which is. uniformity! đŸ€š i feel like the minute differences in brand and so forth and so on give kids easy ways to#compare each other and potentially bully each other. the differences in what people provide Could be distracting! if your kid is the only#one wearing a plaid jumper while everyone else has khaki bottoms on‚ they're going to stand out!#so what pray tell is the point 😭 imo it's best to let kids have the freedom of self expression and show up to school however they'd like#in an appropriate way ofc. but i digress đŸ˜© this business is just. deeply frustrating + as if the work itself was not overwhelming‚ the#parents have to throw tantrums about it... I'm so tired! 😭#and they insinuate you fuck around + or say you don't give a shit.. ma'am I've worked so much overtime this year + that's not even counting#the relentless shifts I've worked in my nightmares that occur every night. like.. literally the only thing i do is give a shit about your#order!! at the expense of my sleep and wellness lmao! I don't eat lunch and i barely hydrate because I'm constantly working#but it is thog mode.. thog don't care... 😑 it'd be funny if i didnt care either đŸ„ŽđŸ˜#to sum up a long rant ig i entered the shower feeling very depressed and I've left angry đŸ€Ż but this is normal methinks#anyhow l + ratio + you work at your family's store + you work customer service + u trip over yourself when u talk etc etc etc 😑😑#one day i will blow that store up with every parent ever. it will be so funny đŸ’–đŸ˜đŸ˜©đŸ˜‘#sriracha.txt#negative cw
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cyncerity · 2 years ago
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I posted 482 times in 2022
360 posts created (75%)
122 posts reblogged (25%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@cyncerity
@baka-monarch
@pixiethesizeshifter
@dingbatnix
@oh-i-need-a-name
I tagged 456 of my posts in 2022
Only 5% of my posts had no tags
#cyncerity - 345 posts
#mcyt gt - 278 posts
#mcyt g/t - 274 posts
#dad’s troubles au - 92 posts
#not g/t - 67 posts
#tw vore - 57 posts
#cyn art - 51 posts
#cynshitpost - 43 posts
#g/t - 29 posts
#store shifter au - 29 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#don’t forget how much you and this community mean to him even now cause i’m damn sure wherever he is he’s watching all this go down hskslsh
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
this took three days but i’m actually really happy with it? that never happens??
anyway, feel free to send asks for this au, i think by now we know that i’m thinking about it too much, but i hope you like these!
also click for better quality
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131 notes - Posted June 25, 2022
#4
Steddie stranger things borrower au is all I need and want in my depressing life
just for you 💖
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The nickname “big boy” just became twice as flirty jokingly mocking
133 notes - Posted August 6, 2022
#3
this isn’t my usual content but i could not rest until i drew this
this is kinda a “secret world of arriety” type au (if you’ve ever read “the borrower” or “the littles” book series, think of those) but with stranger things!
idk how much i’ll do with the idea cause stranger things isn’t my main hyperfixation, but i’m in love with this idea
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156 notes - Posted August 4, 2022
#2
This was based off of an instagram meme that i think was made for women over the age of 50, but when vore inspiration strikes, you have to do something.
So, here’s this!! I may make this a series, I may not, but it may depend on if y’all even like this story or not lol
so without further ado, here’s some crimeboys noms >:)
tw: kinda implied mentions of neglect/abuse, swearing, and vore
He had to get away. Tommy couldn’t stay another day in this damn house, he felt like he was suffocating. He had to leave, somehow.
All of his things were already packed. The little he had was stored in various bags he had stolen from the attic when the thought of running away had first occurred to him. When he had first realized that he couldn’t stay in this shithole any longer.
Now to think of where. That had been his main concern. Hotels were too expensive, and god knows he didn’t have any friends who would let him stay with them.
Which left him with one option, though he was dreading it.
A few months ago, a new app had been created. A way to book “unique” temporary living arrangements with giants. It was part of some weird initiative to get humans and giants to get along better, and had fully stapled itself to the claims that some humans who lived with giants made about how being eaten could be “relaxing.”
That’s right, as awful an idea as this seemed to Tommy and almost everyone else, there was now a way to book what could qualify as the worlds weirdest airbnb within giants. Literally. Apparently some giants were completely ok with random humans using their organs as a weekend get away, because there were plenty on the app for Tommy to scroll through. And scroll he did.
He had realized a while ago that this may be the cheapest option, and had gone through the website for hours until he had found someone. Early 20s, no criminal record that he could find with a limited google search, good reviews that he could tell were mostly from humans friends that he had, but the man seemed nice enough. He ignored the paranoia that told him that this man was only cheap because he would lure Tommy to his death. That the moment he and Tommy met, it would be over, and he’d be just another missing and forgotten person. Another victim to a random giant where there’d be no proof of his death and nothing to-
No, he couldn’t afford to think like that. This had to work. And, besides, was it really worth still living if he had to be at this house any longer? As much as he hated himself for thinking it, he’d rather let this stranger be the death of him than spend another second with his abusive shit family.
Tommy had messaged him once or twice and had paid him once already just to settle the deal. He ignored the feeling of dread in his gut every time he even thought about the giant, but he couldn’t help but be nervous. After all, this man would be holding his life in him until he got his shit together enough to at least get a job. He didn’t know how long that would be, but he needed to be practically untraceable. He couldn’t risk his family finding him. He couldn’t risk being taken back home.
He sent one final text to the man about where to meet. He knew it was late, but he had warned him in advance that he was probably gonna get a text in the middle of the night, so he slowly crept out of his window and, seeing that the coast was clear, ran, not looking back.
He would never look back.


Tommy had arrived at the meetup spot and had been waiting for 30 minutes and, still, no sign of the giant. Ok, now that he thought about it, maybe this did seem a little suspicious. Supposing the giant was a normal ass man, getting a text saying “meet me in an abandoned Tesco parking lot” was a weird thing to receive at 2:45 in the morning. But, again, Tommy was shooting to be untraceable. He couldn’t risk anyone seeing him or his giant. Could he call this stranger “his giant?” Whatever. Tommy knew his family. He didn’t want other people to get hurt, but he couldn’t do this alone. Even if it was a stranger, he needed help.
Tommy just sat and kept thinking, thoughts spiraling into what he would do if the giant never showed up, if he actually had to do this by himself, when the ground began to shake. Tommy quickly stood up and had to strain his neck looking up to see the giant approach. And, holy shit, this fucker was tall.
Tommy had never met a giant before. Hell, almost no humans had. But from what he knew, they shouldn’t be this tall. He felt his knees begin to shake and his palms sweat as he took in the full size and image of the monster that he had hired to eat him. He had fluffy brown hair, wire rimmed glasses and a yellow sweater with a brown puffer jacket on and, weirdly enough, had a mask covering his mouth. He seemed to be hunched over, looking around for what Tommy could only assume to be him, pulling his red-brown beanie further over his head almost nervously. His eyes frantically scanned the empty lot until he found him, where he quickly made his way over as Tommy stumbled back, falling onto the ground and shaking violently from the cold and fear.
“There you are!!” the giant said, “Tommy, right? I’ve been looking all over for you! What were you thinking making this the meetup spot?!”
Tommy could barely speak. It felt like his head had been stuck in a freezer, his throat frozen and his mind muddled and cloudy, unable to form a response. “I-I..it
.i- it was c- close
” he whimpered, stumbling back farther. The giant only then seemed to notice Tommy’s fear as he sighed and knelt down, trying to be more eye level as he spoke quieter. “It’s ok, kid. Fuck, you’re younger than I thought you’d be. You mean it’s close to your house, right?” Tommy nodded hesitantly and Wilbur continued. “Thought so. You probably didn’t want to haul your stuff all the way to the giant side. It’s just
i’m not technically allowed to be here.” Tommy looked up at him, confused, his breath slowing and his panic was subsiding now that the giant wasn’t towering over him and scanning the grounds for him like a fucking predator hunting it’s prey. The giant must’ve noticed his confusion, as he continued. “This isn’t a mutual territory. If i get caught here, i could get in a lot of trouble. I tried texting and calling you to tell you, given that humans don’t know a lot about the laws giants have to follow, but you weren’t responding, so i figured i’d just come and make this quick before the cops notice me.” He said. Ah, so that’s what the surgical mask was for. So the cops couldn’t recognize him. He held out a finger to Tommy, and he tried not to think about how this singular finger was taller than his whole body. “I’m Wilbur, by the way, i don’t think i ever introduced myself.” Tommy shuffled closer and grabbed the tip of the finger in an awkward attempt at a handshake. “I-I’m Tommy.”
“As nice as it is to meet you, you seem really nervous. First time?” Tommy nodded again, miraculously feeling less nervous by the second. Something about this guy, maybe his calming voice or how much more human he was than Tommy assumed he’d be, made Tommy trust him.
Or maybe it was the fact that this was the first time in a long time he had been treated with kindness. His family was barely decent to him, so this was a nice change, if an unexpected one.
“First time meeting a giant, actually.” “No offense, I can kind of tell.” Wilbur said, though there was no judgement in his voice. “Y’know, you don’t have to do this now. We could always resched-“ “No!!” Tommy shouted, interrupting the giant. “No, no, I want to, I have to, I’m out of options, please.” At that, Wilbur began to look concerned. “Tommy what do you mean ‘out of options?’ Are you ok? Do you need help?” “This is my help! Sure, maybe I’m a little bit fucking terrified, but i have nowhere else to go. I- I can’t go back, please, please, Wilby.” Tommy finished, the nickname naturally rolling off his tongue like he had known the giant his whole life. Wilbur looked at him with a vague look of concern and pity before bringing one of his giant fingers closer to Tommy’s face. Tommy didn’t even have time to react before it gently swiped across his cheek, wiping away tears he didn’t even know he had shed. “Ok, ok, i’ll help, it’s alright.” He said, giving Tommy a warm smile (he assumed; his eyes scrunched up a little near the outer edges, which seemed like a good sign he was smiling) that only slightly hid the concern still plastered on his face. And though Tommy still couldn’t see most of the aforementioned face, his eyes portrayed everything Tommy needed. Wilbur wore his heart on his sleeve; he liked that.
Tommy could have sobbed in relief as Wilbur’s words fully sunk in. He was going to get away, and the thought of finally being free was enough to drown out any more fears of what was about to happen. Wilbur then reached behind him and grabbed some of his bags, which looked ridiculously minuscule in his hand, as he brought them up to his mouth before pausing. “Do you want to go down first or do you want me to do to do these? For some people, it can be a bit nerve racking to see me swallow something first.” Tommy thought about it, then shook his head. It’s not like he wanted to see his few meager possessions disappear down the throat of a giant, especially knowing he’d have to join them, but he wasn’t gonna chicken out now. He just needed a few seconds to collect himself, and what Wilbur did with his bags in that time was none of his business.
Wilbur calmly lifted the bags back up, all of them at the same time, and slipped them under his mask. Within a few seconds, Tommy saw a vague outline slip down Wilbur’s throat, bobbing his addam’s apple a bit as they descended to where Tommy would be staying for a short while
maybe he should have gone first.
It all reminded him of a nature documentary he had seen on snakes once; he could see the outline of some poor rodent slowly trail down the snake to its final resting place.
Tommy tried not to think about that last part. After all, he’d be fine. He wasn’t prey, not to Wilbur, anyway. To his family
maybe. Not like they mattered anymore, though.
Tommy felt giddy enough at that thought that he stepped forward towards Wilbur as he watched the man press against his midsection gently, presumably to make sure Tommy’s bags had ended up in the right organ. After that confirmation, Wilbur looked back down, setting his hand palm up next to Tommy. “You ready for this, big man?” Tommy grinned at the nickname, at the way Wilbur treated him. Like a person; an equal. He grinned so hard it almost hurt. “Ready as i’ll ever be.”
Tommy felt himself be lifted and watched as Wilbur used his free hand to lift his mask just enough for Tommy to fit under and into his mouth. Tommy quickly found a perch on his lip and tried to climb in the rest of the way himself before realizing holy shit oh prime good fucking god his teeth were sharp. Wilbur made muffled cry of concern as his hand came back up under Tommy as he stumbled a bit. But, after the initial shock of the teeth being way sharper than he thought, Tommy managed to climb in the rest of the way successfully.
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182 notes - Posted August 25, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
the last post did so much better than expected! i’m genuinely really surprised, thanks for all the support on my short little shitty comic hsjsksl
Anyway, here’s pt. 2!!
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188 notes - Posted August 5, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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sixth-light · 2 years ago
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I posted 2,059 times in 2022
110 posts created (5%)
1,949 posts reblogged (95%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@ilikesallydonovan
@darlingofdots
@raedear
@angualupin
@starfoozle
I tagged 2,036 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
#in the queue - 1,241 posts
#wheel of time - 210 posts
#wot book spoilers - 134 posts
#tumblr stuff - 90 posts
#the old guard - 89 posts
#ofmd - 89 posts
#wot tv show - 88 posts
#lgbtqia - 72 posts
#fandom - 69 posts
#fanart - 52 posts
Longest Tag: 134 characters
#and she only asks about food in the context of 'are you having any digestive issues' and monitoring of things like iron and b vitamins
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I am extremely not going to dignify that 'walkable cities ARE ableist actually' post which has crossed my dash with a reblog, but four things to keep in mind:
'Walkable cities' is almost always a shorthand for 'cities which deprioritise cars as a mode of transport and make it possible and enjoyable to travel by other modes instead', rather than a call for everybody to walk and only walk everywhere all of the time. We live in a golden age of micromobility options, for starters. And when most people do not need to use cars, it will be much easier for people who do.
Advocacy for walkable cities and active transport often does slide right into ableism and fatphobia and this needs to be directly challenged whenever it appears (as someone who has been a cycle commuter my whole adult life and overweight for all but five minutes of my whole adult life, if I never hear "if everybody cycled we would solve the '''obesity epidemic'''!!!" again...)
AT THE SAME TIME, while this will change in degree from place to place, the Venn diagram between 'people who advocate for walkable cities' and 'people who advocate for accessible cities' has a significant degree of overlap. There's probably at least one car-centric conservative out there who genuinely advocates for accessibility by the law of averages, but it's neither a coherent nor common position. Walkability IS a form of accessibility. It is not accessibility for everybody but no single kind of accessibility is, which is why we need cities with MULTIPLE kinds.
Therefore, as with goddamn near everything in life, if you actually want to see more accessible cities...advocate for more accessible cities, and what that means for you. Going 'but there are some people who will always need cars therefore walkable cities is ableist' does exactly nothing except turn people off the idea of change. Say what you want to see. Be specific. Imagine better futures. TL;DR - cui bono when we lock ourselves into "cars vs walkability"? you guessed it - people who benefit from the (observably harmful) car-prioritising status quo. so is this assertion always a cynical psy-op? No. Does it function as one in practice? fuck yes. be smarter.
2,024 notes - Posted November 21, 2022
#4
 As of the morning of 17 Jan, local time, regarding the Tonga eruption: even nearby governments have extremely limited information on what has happened/is happening on the ground. Recon flights have not yet launched. The internet is down. There are 36 inhabited islands in Tonga and there has been no confirmed contact with most of them. There has been no formal government-to-government communication. We know there was a volcanic eruption, a tsunami, and significant ashfall following. That’s a good 90% of what’s reliably known. 
The impetus in these circumstances is always to “do something” but the reality is that there is almost nothing anybody outside Tonga can do right now. Quite frankly, if you don’t have a direct personal connection/knowledge I would hold off even on donating to fundraisers until there’s more clarity on what is actually needed and where that help can best come from. (It remains true as with almost all disasters that money is the best and most useful thing you can give; however, given the limited info/lack of contact and how little most people on the internet know about Tonga, this is going to be prime scammer territory.)
A lot of social media content that purports to describe local conditions is likely untrustworthy - there’s only been a few verified videos and images, because of the undersea cable being out of action. RNZ, which has an excellent and very active Pacific bureau, is being very conservative with its reporting because it does not want to promote misinformation. Just...cool your jets on this one for a few more hours or possibly couple of days, everybody. We don’t know what we don’t know. 
2,343 notes - Posted January 17, 2022
#3
I am very pleased for everybody losing their minds over Our Flag Means Death (I shall be watching it on the weekend) but if it’s alright, I’ll just be over here in the interim losing my mind that Tumblr’s new boyfriends are the Say No To Racism guy and the 2Degrees Ad Guy. 2022 is really Something Else 
3,149 notes - Posted March 25, 2022
#2
The thing that has been vexing me lately about Fantasy Historical Sexism (vs the real kind) is how it flattens out actual historical politics - particularly in the high medieval period, sexism against female rulers was a tool for people who were already their political opponents for political reasons, rather than a common primary motivator for contesting inheritance. Fairly large numbers of women in medieval Western Europe inherited estates ‘suo jure’, in their own right - not even getting into things like the political power of abbesses (who could often be those same women in retirement, or their sisters or daughters or mothers). 
Historical fantasy tends to be so obsessed with having One Special Woman Who Is Fighting Sexism that it actually erases from the popular conception of history the women who were already there, and the complexity of their lives, and it’s just...very...dull. 
4,379 notes - Posted September 13, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I think one of the things that makes OFMD feel freshest is how it balances being a romantic comedy and being queer - specifically, a romantic comedy about queer men (& Jim). Queer men are not unknown in the romantic comedy genre! But what makes the show stand out is how exceptionally careful it is to ensure that the fact of their romances, and of their queerness, is never the source of the comedy. It’s never meant to be funny that someone is queer, or that someone is in love. Coming out, even in the most casual and incidental way, is never used as a punchline. 
And yet, it’s also not a utopia where stereotypes about queer people and homophobia (the things that ultimately fuel those kinds of jokes) don’t exist - they do! But every time somebody tries to make them funny, it falls completely flat. It steps outside the acceptable bounds of the genre and the characters react to it in that way. Homophobia isn’t a central obstacle, it’s a faux pas. It’s not allowed to be funny and it’s also not allowed to take up space in the narrative by being the thing the characters must overcome to get their happy ending. Which is a hell of a balancing act.
That scene with Izzy trying to mock Black Pete and Lucius is absolutely crucial to this tone. These characters know they’re in a comedy and they react to things like they’re in a comedy, but they don’t react to his mockery like it’s a joke OR like it has power to shame them. They react like Izzy is embarrassing himself by failing to read the room - like he’s a bully, but a pathetic one. You can be evil in comedies and still be funny, but Izzy is committing the cardinal sin of failing to be funny...and what that does is draw very clear boundaries around what the show is going to allow as a legitimate joke. Homophobic jokes can only be funny when the people making them have consensus from the rest of the group that they’re funny. Instead, in this show, it is clear instead that they are acts of violence and (attempted) control. Which defangs them, because the ultimate power in a romantic comedy always comes from acts of comedy. I find it extremely powerful for a queer romcom to look homophobia in the eye like this and say “nah” than either to ignore it completely, or to make it a central problem.
It’s very very smart writing and acting and it should be cited every time someone tries to whine about comedy and boundaries and not being allowed to be homophobic/transphobic any more. You can be extraordinarily funny about queer people and be received well. Queerness just can’t be the punchline. 
10,662 notes - Posted April 1, 2022
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stemmmm · 2 years ago
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Blogs I reblogged the most:
oh-hools
skeletalheartattack
rukafais
stardustcrusaders
kamil-a
I tagged 1,437 of my posts in 2022
#video - 188 posts
#m.txt - 102 posts
#homestuck - 56 posts
#dracula - 52 posts
#splatoon - 52 posts
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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556 notes - Posted January 25, 2022
#4
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599 notes - Posted April 11, 2022
#3
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971 notes - Posted February 2, 2022
#2
so there's this new site called cohost.org
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2,608 notes - Posted June 29, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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3,628 notes - Posted October 9, 2022
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youremyonlyhope · 2 years ago
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I posted 15,000 times in 2022
249 posts created (2%)
14,751 posts reblogged (98%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@bluerthanthetardis
@thearchivist-theprime
@friendraichu
@toshsato
@christor5
I tagged 4,174 of my posts in 2022
#dw spoilers - 203 posts
#doctor who spoilers - 198 posts
#stranger things spoilers - 149 posts
#st spoilers - 148 posts
#survivor 42 spoilers - 102 posts
#survivor spoilers - 101 posts
#survivor - 78 posts
#survivor 42 - 76 posts
#kenobi spoilers - 66 posts
#obi-wan kenobi spoilers - 65 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#yes i did shame the person by saying ‘i apologize if i didn’t answer quick enough’ after they put ‘???’ and a ‘:/‘ rating after 30 seconds
(Ah yes, the many struggles of customer service to entitled parents. I forgot about that chat support exchange.)
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I’m sorry, but it is SO funny to me that it wasn’t enough to have Sidney marry someone else and have Theo James leave the show, they had to literally kill Sidney too just to shut down any hope of them getting back together.
I literally laughed out loud when I saw his name on the coffin.
80 notes - Posted March 20, 2022
#4
FINALLY.
FINALLYYYYYYYY.
FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
IT ONLY TOOK 20 YEARS BUT ANOTHER BLACK WOMAN WON SURVIVOR.
90 notes - Posted May 25, 2022
#3
**OBI-WAN KENOBI SPOILERS**
I am so impressed with that little girl.
I swear, in the moment that she looked at Obi-Wan in the eye and continued to put on the gloves, I felt the spirit of Carrie Fisher herself come out.
She’s truly embodying Leia and I love it.
106 notes - Posted May 27, 2022
#2
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Has this been done yet?
109 notes - Posted April 11, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Cynthia and Danielle crying with Joaquina is such a beautiful moment. 
158 notes - Posted June 12, 2022
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orcelito · 2 months ago
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Got my score back for my presentation, & it was About what I was expecting. I knew the weak point of the presentation was how dense it was + how much I had to cover, and as a result I did end up largely reading off of the slides. Tried to insert some extra information about the stuff, but didn't have much in the way of discussion built into my slides. So like... I can accept that criticism lol (even if it does sting a lil 😭)
Overall tho I got an average score of 8.6, professor score of 8... I'm not sure actually what will count for my grade. Is he including his score in the average at the top??? Also 8.6 is also not right. When I calculated my score from the tallied numbers, I got 8.31 for class average, 8.29 if I include the professor's rating in there as just one. For some reason, what he wrote is higher than either?? I certainly won't complain about a higher score, though I'm confused lol
But yeah people in general praised my research and preparation. Also video choice. Yay!
I will now try to focus on the good points and not worry so much about the bad. Regardless of any of it, 8.6 or 8 (out of max 9) is generally Pretty Good. Might as my professor for clarification on the grades when I next see him.
#speculation nation#which will probably be on...monday. he said it doesnt rly matter if i get the thing in on friday or monday#so since i'll already be on campus monday for class. also gives me more time to do it. it just makes sense.#oh also i was praised for the use of my quiz at the beginning hfksk yayyyy#gonna be looking thru my classmates reviews again i think. theyre generally nice.#i got 9 scores of 9. 4 scores of 8. 2 of 7. and 1 of 6. (again. where 9 is the top score)#the funny thing is. well the two 7s have valid critiques on them (primarily my delivery lol)#the 6 doesnt really?? have any criticisms in it. which is strange. like girl why did u give me a 6 😭😭 tell me pls 😭😭😭#another praise i got was for including both sides of things. which tbh that was a big part of what video i chose over ERA#bc when i looked at that i was like 'why in the world would people protest against the Equal Rights Amendment?'#so i felt like it was an important thing to include. found a video that included perspectives from key figures on either side.#bc i dont Agree with the ppl who oppose it. but i think the context is important to understand Why we dont have the ERA yet.#ok looking thru all the things again makes me feel better about it all. overall the criticisms are valid lol#i definitely dont prefer the presentation style i had. just. ya kno. god there was so much to cover.#i will accept this deduction... as it is fair. also tho i do not know what my final score is 😭 professor please#'well prepared but weaker in delivery' was my professor's summary of it. yeah . yeah😔#oh well at least it's over lol. and even if it's an 8/9 thats not bad. would love the 8.6/9 to be my final score tho lol#idk i'll ask for clarification. later.
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preserve-or-raze · 2 years ago
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my tags got out of hand
i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.
and that should be fine; but it's never fine.
i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.
for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.
we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.
i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.
restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.
#oh my god i’m not the only person in the whole world who has Struggles and Difficulties#i am in pharmacy school which means i have no money no time etc and so every single thing that would bring an iota of joy or escape#must be cut for time because you haven’t studied for your exam next month so no you cannot start watching that the show.#and because you missed the deadline two weeks ago for that group project that the others did for you there will be no sitting at the piano#also you made a c and not a b on the exam yesterday so maybe instead of ordering takeout like you said you were going to#(because you know that you don’t buy real food on the rare occasion you go to the grocery store)#instead you’re gonna have to pick through your bare cabinets and empty fridge freezer for something. or just not eat#like you sometimes do#this is not a problem bc you’ve saved your money which you can’t afford to waste#that’s what they told you when you started: tell your friends you can’t see them much because a doctoral program is a time commitment#they said: you need to quit your side hustles and get an internship#they said: you need to ask for cleaning supplies for your birthday—and clothes and shoes bc tuition is very expensive#this isn’t some deficiency on your part. everyone else lives in isolation with no hobbies or entertainment too.#the only difference is that THEY spend all that time studying and reviewing and working and preparing—#while YOU are laying in bed all day because the thought of writing that paragraph is nauseating and tomorrows exam is slowly enveloping you#and you can tell because you had to retake those 2 classes and you have to retake another one this summer.#never mind that you still don’t know anything. just keep playing the part. stay afloat until this week’s exam is over#then you can worry about next week’s exams#(you WILL worry about next week’s exams)#learning the ukulele isn’t going to ease your stress it’s just gonna make you feel guilty#what do you mean you already feel guilty because you’ve pulled the ukelele out exactly twice since mom gave it to you for christmas?#that webseries updates 4 times a week. can you honestly tell me that you have 4 hours a week where you don’t feel shame#about not exceeding expectations anymore?#i thought not. close your compute— you didn’t even take it out of your bag.#do you ever take it out of your bag at home?#you don’t.#well i can see why you’re such a fucking failure#it’s 3:27 am but ​i won’t bother telling you to shower or brush your teeth- i know you don’t do that.#you went to bed three and a half hours ago now it’s time to sleep#maybe we’ll see what tomorrow has for us
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gadgets-ark · 1 year ago
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OMG 2 Box Office Collection: Akshay Kumar's Latest Film Crosses Rs 50 Crore Mark in Just 4 Days
OMG 2 Box Office Collection: Akshay Kumar’s much-anticipated movie, “OMG 2,” has taken the box office by storm, setting a new record. The film, which released alongside Sunny Deol’s “Gadar 2” and Rajinikanth’s “Jailer,” has managed to pull in massive crowds even on a non-holiday Monday. This comes as a pleasant surprise to trade pundits who were initially skeptical due to the strong competition.

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transienturl · 1 year ago
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milo-is-rambling · 2 years ago
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Found a new favorite random thing to do
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bluehwale · 2 years ago
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unconventional first encounters with ateez
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pairing. ateez x reader (specifically fem! reader for seonghwa's & jongho's)
genre. fluff, humor, this is a headcanon with a teensy bit of thriller and fantasy (and maybe sci-fi)
warning(s). a creepy man stalking u (san's part), swearing, mentions of drinking alcohol, mentions of murder without actual murder, a crazy toxic ex (jongho's part), mingi had a one night stand, mentions of nudity without actual nudity, this is not proofread, seonghwa’s scenes are inspired by the kdrama “youth of may”
word count. 8.7k (sorry in advance)
note. i’ve created a monster
 the 3k words headcanon suddenly snowballed into almost 9k oops i think i had too much fun writing this,, anyways please tell me ur favorites! mine would be seonghwa’s, wooyoung’s, and yunho’s bc it may or may not be inspired by a true story,,, (if u notice me reusing a trope in this hc,,,,, no u don’t)
masterlist
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kim hongjoong
you're in a skateboard park
"why did you follow me here?"mingi slurps on his juicebox as he steps on the nose of his skateboard, "you don't even skate."
you turn to look at him and cheekily grin
"is it wrong to want to spend time with my bestfriend?"
mingi raises a brow
okay fine
he's right
you don't skate and you basically see mingi everyday at campus so you're actually kind of sick of him (don't tell him that)
so you're not really here for him
"just go do your thing," you make shooing gestures at the boy with pink hair as you turn to plop down on the side walk
"i'll sit here and watch."
:-D
sit and watch one of the most attractive guys you've ever seen skateboard
kim hongjoong
and there he is
laughing with his friends and doing little skateboard tricks that you can't name
everytime you look at him you hear sk8ter boi by avril lavigne playing as the background music
it's not a crush btw you just think he's super cool
you're falling in love with him
mingi blinks twice at you and proceeds to follow your line of sight
"oh c'mon."
"what??" you huff, trying to avoid his judgemental glare, "i just think he's cute, okay???"
"yeah but i thought whatever phase you had over him would be over by now."
well u thought wrong !!!!! >:-D
"instead of ogling over him, you should try skating."
mingi throws away his empty juicebox in a nearby trash can and drops his board before gently kicking it in your direction
the board hits your feet
"you're trying to kill me?" you deadpan before kicking the board back to his direction
"oh come on!" mingi flails his arms around as he whines "it'll be fun!!!!!"
"fun for you," you snort while trying to look over his gigantic ass that's currently blocking your view, "i'll probably end up with a broken arm."
mingi suddenly grabs onto your hands and pull you up
"nonsense! i'm right here-" he adjusts you on his skateboard and makes sure both your feet are planted firmly on it, "- i won't let anything happen to you :-D"
the thing is
you love your best friend
but you absolutely cannot trust him in situations like this
you were about to hop off his board and make a run for it
but mingi starts rolling you forward gently
"dUDE!" you yelp, immediately holding tight on his arms that are still gripping you as you both move around the park
"bro calm down, we're going at like 5 kilometers per hour"
and you both kinda go at it for awhile
and oh
oHHH!
wait a minute
this is actually pretty fun !!!!!! :-D
mingi laughs at your excited grin
"see! i told you it's fun!!!!"
okay yeah he's right about this one
"now you try on your own !!!!!"
sometimes mingi forgets that not everyone can do what he does
he releases his hold on you and gives you a push
your eyes widen
your best friend hollers when the board starts going faster
"MINGI I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS THING"
"WAIT Y/N WATCH OUT! THERE'S A--"
you shriek as you hurdle to the ground and the skateboard kinda just tumbles behind you
"a pothole that hasn't been fixed," mingi winces before slowly walking over towards you
but someone beats him to it
"hey are you okay? that was a pretty rough fall"
you look up to see a boy with half of his short hair dyed blonde and the other half black, his wide eyes pooling with concern
cue sk8ter boi by avril lavigne
if he's here........ that means he must've seen you embarrassingly fall flat on your face and basically eat the ground
okay, your dramatic ass actually didn't even fall face first to the ground but,,
you somehow ended up with having your palms and knees on the ground
and the kim hongjoong is right in front of you
..........you had to resist the urge to curl up and die
"i-i'm fine-- ouch," you hiss as you move to push off the ground
exposing your now bloody knees and scratched up palms
apparently you're not fine
"oh no," hongjoong frowns, gently cradling one of your bleeding hands in both of his and you kinda have to muffle back your scream because oMG
he lets go of your hand and kinda digs around in his pants' pocket to pull out what looks like an antiseptic spray thing and a
and a box of pink disney princesses band aids
you didn't know skater boys can be this cute?????? HE'S SO CUTE???????
"i got just the right things to fix you up!" he exclaims and looks over at you for permission, "is it okay if i do it for you?"
you can only nod
meanwhile, mingi's just kinda standing awkwardly on the sidelines while watching the boy disinfect your wounds with the spray
and he sees that hongjoong immediately strikes you into a conversation in an attempt to distract you from the pain once he sees you flinching
and he's just inwardly going wooooo yeah !!!!!! go gET IT Y/N!!!!!!
hongjoong was starting to open the box of bandaids when he notices that you're staring a hole into his busy hands
"don't judge me for these, i just picked up the first ones i see," he says, thinking that you're probably staring at the bandaids because you're thinking of how weird it is for an emo-looking guy like him to have pink bandaids, "i think they're pretty cool anyways."
"yeah, they are cool," you scoot closer to him, "i was just hoping you have either tiana or rapunzel. they're my favorite princesses."
well
hongjoong thinks that's wildly endearing somehow
if he ends up not having two of the princesses in his remaining band-aid pack, he's definitely running to the nearest drugstore to get a new one
just for you :-D
he chuckles and digs around the box to hopefully see a bandaid with a princess dressed in green or another one dressed in purple
as he finishes placing the band-aids on your injuries, he stood up and offers a hand to pull you up
"i'm hongjoong."
yeah you know
you return his name with your own and he softly smiles when repeating your name under his breath
"y/n, try not to get hurt when i see you next time."
park seonghwa
"let's get married."
you almost spurt out the complimentary water you were drinking
what in the arrranged marriage bullshit????
you finally agreed to go on one of many blind dates your mother has arranged to hopefully marry you off in hopes of merging your family company with another powerful company
to which your personal chef, wooyoung, proposed a plan (that had yeosang, your personal assistant, immediately going on his knees to beg you not to do)
wooyoung calls it operation zombie bride
which roughly translates to 'make yourself an undesirable wife'
but you didn't even get the chance to get your acting game going because this park seonghwa of park enterprises is already asking for your hand in marriage
right after you took a seat across him and managed to take ONE sip of the glass of water prepared on your table
"have you lost your mind??" you sputter while trying to swallow down the bits of water you're currently choking on, "you don't even know me!"
seonghwa raises a brow and opens his mouth, ready to retort back to your challenging remark when a waitress come up to your table
"may i start you both with a drink?"
"yes please," you try to force your hiccups to a stop so you can deadpan at the admittedly handsome man in front of you, "i'll have a bottle of beer."
the waitress visibly tries to stifle her surprise because it's currently 11 am and it's unheard of for people like you in a fancy restaurant like this to order the alcoholic drink
but yeah it's none of her business so she just took both of your orders and leaves :-D
"i guess you like to drink."
it's no question that you both obviously know of each other
having both been raised in similar worlds to be the perfect heir to be handed the family company
but you'll show him just how much he doesn't know you
you can somehow hear wooyoung's evil cackles from here
"yes," you widen your eyes and hope that you look unhinged enough, "i can't live without it. whenever i feel sober, my hands tremble like crazy."
wooyoung would be so proud that you've perfectly recited the first part of the script he wrote
"i see." an intrigued brow raises at your direction as seonghwa calmly leans back into his chair with a-
HOLD ON WHY IS HE SMIRKING??????????
things are not supposed to go this way
he's supposed to be at least slightly irked by your behavior at this point
the amused smirk still plays on his lips and you were about to openly berate him for being a weird idiot before the waitress comes back with your drinks
at the sight of the bottle of beer and a tall glass set beside it on your table, you think of backing out
you absolutely HATE beer
but you don't want to marry a guy you just met!!!!!
so you sucked it up and gulped down the glass of beer after the waitress poured the alcohol in it to the brim
ggaAAH this shit tastes like piss
you slam the now empty glass on the table before letting out a loud aHHH~ as you smack your lips obnoxiously
and you feel the side of your lip twitch upwards when you see his surprised face
(>ω<) :ïœĄïœ„:*:’★,ïœĄïœ„:*:’☆ wooyoung's plan is wooooorking~!
"may i have a sip?"
record scratch. the earth stops rotating. pause.
"it's just, you make it look so delicious," seonghwa nods at the bottle before pushing down the cuffs of his grey suit and you swear you see his mirthful eyes twinkle when they meet your own gobsmacked ones
without waiting for an answer, he grabs the remaining beer in the bottle and lets the drink tip into his mouth as he knocks his head back to avoid touching his lips to the bottle
you kinda wish they did- AYYYOO?? U DID NOT THINK THAT NO U DIDN'T YOU DON'T FIND THIS MAN ATTRACTIVE AT ALL--
seonghwa lets out a rasped guttural sigh before he hums out, "now this is some nice beer." as he twirls the bottle in hands to look at its label before returning it back beside your glass
you do not find this man drinking alcohol attractive. you repeat, you do not find this man drinking alcohol attractive.
he sends another smirk your way
time to resort to the second half of the script
you rest your elbows on the table and lean closer to the man in front of you as your eyes narrow, "i've been told that i'm picky when it comes to who i date."
you wait for him to start spewing out random nonsense about some bullshit or the "nice guys always finish last" rant but he surprisingly stays silent and motions a hand for you to elaborate
"i don't want a man that expects me to cook or clean," you tilt your head back and give him a smirk of your own, "i'm not the type to stay home and cook for my husband. my career is more important."
he stays silent, and you can't help but feel a tad bit disappointed that maybe he's just like any other man-
"i like it."
ngl you almost went apeshit after hearing that
"my ideal type is an ambitious woman."
maybe your heart went pitter patter hearing that but no!!! you're not getting married!!!!
"i'll never want to have kids!" you grasp at straws, blindingly saying anything that will hopefully give him the ick because mhm yeah he definitely looks like a guy who want kids of his own yeah you got this
but he shrugs it off with a wave of his hand, "that's up to the woman, of course. i won't force you to do anything."
you're fucked.
"you're not as picky as i thought," seonghwa hums as another smirk, this time teasing, curls up on his face
you kinda want to smack it off
he matches your stance as he too, leans closer to you, and he tucks a stray hair behind your ear
"i guess we're pretty compatible, future wife."
jeong yunho
tonight is THE night
your finals are finally over and honestly you don't know if you did a good job at it
but that's for future yn to think about
because present yn is gonna go party it up tonight!!!!
yuh B-)
a new club just opened nearby and it looks pretty cool so you and your friends decided to go there
you have on your cutest outfit with your hair and makeup done
and you're sO excited !! >:-D
"y/n."
"hm?" you turn to face wooyoung, one of your best friends, who currently has his arms crossed and a serious look on his face
cue your cheeky grin and your not so innocent batting eyes
before every outings that involves drinking, wooyoung always gives you the talk because... well,,
one time, none of your friends couldn't find you anywhere in the club because you ended up in a nearby seafood restaurant with your whole face inside one of the aquariums (you don't know how you ended up there and yes it was gross and yes wooyoung had to pay for all the damages)
but the thing is, even though wooyoung threatens reminds you every single time before you drink to not get too crazy, it happens anyway
you don't know why he even bother
(he's handcuffed himself to you once and the night ended with both of his hands cuffed together while you were nowhere to be found)
so yeah aha
"you know the drill," wooyoung deadpans, "it's extra crowded tonight so i want you to be within my sight at all times."
that should be easy
you give him a mock salute, "got it, dad!"
you do feel bad for your friends who have to take care of you whenever you're drunk so you're gonna limit yourself to only 3 shots tonight
yeah you can do that !!! :-D
.........
turns out,,, you can't limit your insatiable drinking habits
you lost count over how many glasses you've had and oh my god wooyoung's gonna be so pissed!!!!
you don't even know where he is
you're just lazing around in between the swarm of bodies on the dance floor
you've gotten to the point where the high to dance waded off and now you just want to sit down and relax
and that's exactly what you were gonna do
until you accidentally stumbled out of the club
"woah!"
everything seems to fall into slow motion
next thing you know, you're engulfed into a pair of arms, your face crashing against a warm pair of tiddies chest that cushions your landing after you drunkenly fling yourself out of the club's exit
a pair of large and warm hands cup around your waist to steady you
your dazed eyes look up to see a man with sleepy doe eyes that blinks in surprise and soft chocolate hair that's slightly tousled
he looks adorable (this is you speaking)
and hot (this is your drunken alter ego speaking)
and you're pretty sure you're gaping like a fish
mom i want him
you wrap your previously flailing arms around his waist, unconsciously pulling him closer as you happily croon
"yooou look like myh future boyfriend!"
the handsome man in your embrace lets out a deep chuckle as amusement crosses his face before concern pools in his eyes once he belatedly realizes the state that you're in
if you weren't so drunk right now, you'd probably swoon over how respectful his hand placements are; his hands lift to linger above your waist as he tries to keep you steady-- not touching you but also making sure he'd be able to catch you in case you topple off him
the bare minimum but it's still cute ok
"hi," he softly greets and you have to bend your neck all the way up because tHIS MAN IS TALL just so you can continue staring at his face in awe
"you're sooo tall !!oof-" you drunkenly stumble more into him as you loudly remark on his height, gaining attention to the both of you
he protectively pulls you in just a little bit closer to him, eyes taking in the amount of iffy strangers that have their eyes lingering on you for too long
"do you know where your friends are?" he softly hums, gently brushing away the sweaty strands of hair that stuck to your face so he can look at you properly
yunho knows he can't leave you alone, not with how your eyes are drooping and your speech slurring even though he desperately wants to catch up on more sleep after he did a little snack run to the convenience store
and it's currently 4 hours before he has to wake up for his morning class :-(
he knows he'll regret not getting enough sleep for his class but,,,
he'll regret it even more if he just leave you all alone
"they're all inside!" you giggle while your finger points to the entrance of the club
a bout of chilly wind suddenly breezes past you and you shiver because oH NO you left your purse and coat in the lockers!!!!!-
a warm jacket that smells of vanilla and steamed milk suddenly sits atop your shoulders
"are you cold?" the boy in front of you frowns as he adjusts his grey jacket over your body, "you should call your friends and ask them to come get you."
you didn't even notice when he gently pried your arms off him so he can shrug off the jacket he's wearing to give to you
hE'S SO-
the boy yelps when a shoe is suddenly hurled in his direction and nearly whacks him in the face, "what the fu-"
"hEY !!!!!!!"
you both turn at the sound of the high pitched shriek to see a tiny boy with red hair and smoke coming out of his ears while holding a purse and two coats with one of his socked feet missing a shoe
"gET YOUR HANDS OFF THEM!" wooyoung dashes at you both with an inhuman speed and launches himself to grab you by the wrist and tuck you behind him
"sorry man," the kind stranger lifts both of his arms into the air to show that he means no harm, "i was trying to help them find their way back to their friends."
wooyoung's like oh when he turns back to see you nod in confirmation and his hostility diminishes in an instant
"oh thanks man :-D i guess you're cool :-D what's your name :-D ?"
"it's yunho."
"well, i'm y/n!! and this is my best friend oomph- wooyoung!!!!!!"
and wooyoung's like c'mon y/n we have to get you back to the dorms and you're like waIT A MINUTE I HAVE TO RETURN THIS JACKET-
"no it's okay you can keep it," yunho assures you with a shy smile
"you look better in it anyway."
he's so- ahaue@$#@3ahgru
"take out your phone." you hiccup and yunho shoots you a confused look but obeys anyway
"listen carefully," you cutely hiccup again with your hands on your waist and yunho has to stifle a laugh at your endearing antics, "i'm gonna recite my number for you."
at that, yunho's eyes comically widen and he fumbles to quickly pull up the phone app
"i'm listening!!!"
kang yeosang
when you ordered for an android that will help you around your apartment, you did not expect this
"delivery for y/n?"
you excitedly peer at the tall box that was wheeled in by the delivery man after thanking him
only faltering once you notice something odd
the label on the box reads KYS-1117
hmmmmmmm
you're sure that you made an order for PSH-1024, an android that's promised to be a clean freak and will keep your housing as neat as possible
pshhhh there's no way a highly renowned tech company that sells expensive androids could make a simple mistake like that right? :-D
yeah ! :-D
so you grab your exacto knife and get to the best part of receiving packages -- unboxing !!!!!
you excitedly dive into ripping the box apart, mindlessly flinging away the handbook that was neatly attached to it because how hard can it be to activate an android?
a very handsome android, it turns out
you peer through the glass window of the white pod that houses a blonde boy laying so peacefully you almost didn't want to wake him up
you fumble around and managed to press a button that lifts the lid of the pod, emanating trendils of mist to reveal a clearer vision of the boy with golden blonde hair, eyes closed as if in a deep sleep
"woah," you murmur, bringing your head closer to take a better look at the android. you somehow expected a normal looking one instead of an android who looks like he just won a beauty peagant but hey,,, you're not complaining :3
you crawl across your living room, grabbing the handbook you set aside and immediately flip open to the first page
how to turn on your android: a guide
aha! here we go
you reach out to poke around the android's neck to press on the disguised button to power him up, ignoring the flame scorching your cheeks at the thinning distance between you and his face
his eyelashes flutter as his eyes slowly open and falls on you as you back away from his personal space
you just kinda stay on your knees (not in that way!!!) in front of his pod, because well..... you don't know what to say to him.....
he's slowly blinking, seemingly fighting sleep, as he trains his gaze on you
this is awkward........ (ă€ƒïżŁÏ‰ïżŁă€ƒă‚ž
the silence stretches for another minute before the blonde beauty finally speaks
"There must be something wrong with my eyes."
"huh??" you panic, quickly turning back to the handbook in your hands and flipping the pages frantically. "what's wrong?? does it hurt??? maybe there's something about that in here--"
"... Because I can't take them off you."
:-D ....
you're ... gobsmacked
"uHHH ahhahahHHahHa, nice joke?????"
you really don't know what to say
he smiles, effectively blinding you because, holy shit, this man is too good looking to be an android cleaner wtf, and he gracefully steps out of his pod and crouches down in front of you to tuck your hair behind your ear WHAT IS HAPPENING
"What's your name, doll?"
d-d-doll ????
"uh,,,, it's y/n"
"It's nice to meet you, Y/n. I'm KYS-1117, you can call me Yeosang."
he flashes another charming smile and oop yeah that's all it takes
if you weren't kneeling on the floor, you'd probably pass out
but wait a minute,,,, did he say-
"huh,,,, they did get the order wrong," you mumble to yourself
you don't notice yeosang's face contorting in confusion
"Am I not to your liking?"
your eyes snap back to his warm brown eyes that flashes a hint of hurt before disappearing all too quick
oh no
you managed to hurt an android's feelings (ïčïŸ’)
"no no !!!! there's nothing wrong on your part !!" you vigorously shake both of your hands in front of you. "it's just,, i think they sent me.... uh, the wrong ..... android."
"Oh."
yeah...... oh
"Would you like me to contact our customer service? You'll be guaranteed to receive your correct order and compensation, of course."
yeosang lowers his head to face the floor while his voice falls flat; a stark contrast to the charismatic lilt he greeted with you previously
you don't need a degree in psychology to tell that he's visibly upset at the fact that you're gonna return him
it makes you feel worse because no !! this isn't your fault
and you can't ignore the fact that he looks absolutely human right now
okay, you do have to give props to the tech company who, despite messing up your order, did a good job at making their androids realistic
maybe a bit too good because,,, you're getting swayed by him rn
which is weird because aren't androids supposed to NOT have emotions?????
you sigh to yourself
"can you clean?"
the blonde snaps his head to look at you. "I'm sorry?"
woop here it goes
"i'm not returning you," you shrug. "i bet that's gonna take another 2 months to process and i don't see why i should do that when i have you."
you can see the gears turning in his head as he tries to process what you just said
you give him a small smile that you hope is comforting and that it somehow tells him that he's not going back to (you presume) a lab that's probably a hellhole
he perks up at your words, his body rocking back and forth as he excitedly informs you, "I'm not specifically programmed to be a cleaner android, but I can learn! I'm known to be a fast learner!"
"okay,,,,, that's settled then!" you happily reply
this is great, a win-win solution! maybe you should also ask yeosang to get compensation for the mistake they made without returning him
in that way,, you won't have to wait for ages to get another android and you get money !!!!!!
phew
"if you don't mind me asking, what are you specifically programmed to do?"
"Oh! I'm a boyfriend android!"
what did he SAY (o_O) !
bonus
... "yeosang,, why do you talk like that?"
"Ah. Is the way I talk not to your liking?"
you shake your head frantically, "no!! no!!!! it's nothing like that! just that you kinda talk like you use proper capitalization and punctuation all the time aha"
yeosang blinks
"Am I not supposed to?"
"no!!! it's perfectly fine,, i was just hoping you could be more relaxed around me :-D"
relax. yeosang tilts his head at that word
"I am. Relaxed."
you stare at him
his ramrod straight back against your couch, feet planted perfectly side by side on your floor and his hands placed politely on his lap
meanwhile, your figure sprawls messily on the spot next to him
"yeah,,,, okay"
choi san
you felt it once you stepped foot outside the 24 hours supermarket
that feeling of someone watching you
you try to quench it down, thinking that it's just paranoia creeping on you because it's almost 3 am and eerily dark outside
but then you hear it
footsteps.
not too loud, as if the person does not want to be heard, and you realize that their footfalls match yours
they're keeping up with your pace
you feel your heart rapidly race as you curse yourself for leaving your phone because it's charging back home
is it a good idea to run?
you discreetly turn your head to the side, seeing a man way bigger than you with his hood up in your peripheral vision
and his dark gaze straight on you
shit
you attempt your best at nonchalantly flicking your head back forward, hoping that he doesn't realize that you know that he's following you
the streets and sidewalk both remain empty, rows of closed shops greeting you instead of any taxis or people that could help you
you're completely on your own
you inwardly sigh, making a detour to head towards the main street because there's no way in hell you're leading this creep straight back to where you live and if you can be in a busier street, that would be much better
after walking for what felt like hours, you notice the unmistaken colorful lights that shine red, orange, and green from a convenience store's banner
omg
!!! a convenience store !!!!!!
you quickly pick up your pace, not caring over how the man behind you also start to fasten their steps, and you immediately swing open the glass door once your fingers grasp at the handle
your eyes fall to the cashier, a teenager, probably, who looks like he's not older than 18, and at the brink of dozing off into a deep sleep
tears prick your eyes as you feel the panic finally start to overwhelm you because you don't think this kid can do anything besides being scared with you if you drag him into this
but you kinda have no choice
as you step further inside the convenience store, ready to approach him, you notice a mop of messy raven hair near the cold drinks aisle
you feel the presence of the creepy man looming behind you, ready to step into the convenience store as well
you gulp, shivers running down your spine at the thought of being in a close proximity with the stalker
hell no
the cashier's way too close to the entrance
you need to move somewhere further away
you make a beeline for the raven haired boy at the back of the store grabbing two small sized cartons of milk, tightly lacing your arms around his side, your groceries in a bag swishing wildly against him as he looks at you in surprise
"hi, babe!" you loudly greet the stranger, making sure the man who just rang the bell atop the convenience store door as he enters heard you
you shoot wide eyed glances that hopefully screams 'help!' at your temporary pretend boyfriend
who happens to be very handsome btw
"i'm sorry i took so long, you must've been waiting for me," you continue, eyes roaming around the store and quickly spotting the man in front of the aisle you're both in, quietly listening on to your conversation. "the grocery store was so far away! i shouldn't have insisted on going out alone."
the boy you're latching onto must've gotten the memo (at speed record too!) as he quickly wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and he lets out a chuckle
"it's okay, baby. let me just pay for these, yeah? mingi and wooyoung are waiting for us in the car outside."
he purposefully raises his voice at the last sentence, making sure that the creep he noticed won't stop staring at you would understand that it'll be a 3 against 1 if he tries anything
gently tugging you by your waist to the other side of the store, away from the man's prying eyes, the boy takes you in with concern furrowing his brows
"are you okay?" he softly whispers, grasping the two cartons of milk in one hand as his other move from your waist to settle comfortingly on your shoulder to soothe you
"yeah," comes your shaky reply, eyes still glancing warily towards the front of the store. "just need to get him off me."
"do you want me to drive you home?" he asks, face quickly grimacing at his insensitivity and he scrambles to replace his offer. "ah, that probably sounds scary. do you want me to call you a cab instead?"
you thank the universe for gracing you with the kindness of this stranger
"sure, that sounds good."
you both finally arrive to the cashier after circling the store, waking up the cashier who begins to lazily ring up the boy's items
his arm wraps around your waist again once he notices the man lingering too close to the both of you and he quickly grabs his paid items after muttering a small 'thank you' before dashing out the door with you by his side
you look behind you, freezing when you see the man with his eyes still on you beyond the glass doors
"the passenger seat's empty, you can sit here first while waiting for your cab, if you want," the raven haired boy offers, opening the passenger seat door of the car parked right outside the store
you enter the car, letting the boy shut the door beside you as you settle down and try to calm your racing heart
"hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!!!!!-- uhmm, who are you?"
you turn to the backseat to see a redhead with a nosy expression, his limbs tangled with a blonde boy's own limbs who also sports the same expression, although his looks more confused than nosy
"some creep was following them on their way home," said the raven haired boy, already settling down on his own seat and shutting the door as you look over to the driver's side
"what?" an angry yell sounds from behind, the blonde seemingly trying to untangle himself from the redhead as he desperately tries to claw the car window. "that fucker!"
"mingi!" reprimands his friend in the driver's seat, his head shaking at his friend's antics and he looks at you with an apologetic look. "sorry about him, they both had a little too much to drink. i'm san, by the way"
"san," you repeat his name, and told him yours. "thank you for helping me back there."
"of course," san gives you a dimpled smile, pulling out a pack of mint chewing gum out of the plastic bag and offering it to you. "i heard chewing gum helps when you're nervous."
you must've been too focused on the man near you while he was paying that you didn't notice him grabbing it
and you know that you're not supposed to accept candy from a stranger but you kinda need it ok
"oh, thank you so much," you shyly thank him as you grab the pack. "you didn't have to."
"yeah, but i wanted to," he says, giving you another smile before grabbing the two cartons of milk and tossing them to his friends
"oUUUCH!!!!!! san you hit my head!!" the redhead wails, grabbing his head with both hands in dramaticized agony after the boxed milk bounces off his head while the blonde angrily yells that he does not want milk!!!!!!!
"a bunch of kids, both of you," san tiredly sighs and you almost giggle at his funny expression that resembles an exhausted dad dealing with his two rowdy toddlers
"drink the milk! you need to neutralize!"
"I DON'T WANT TO!!!!!!!"
"MINGI SHUT UP YOU'RE MAKING MY HEAD HURT EVEN MORE"
what a cute friend group
you ended up asking san to drive you home because somehow, you feel like you can trust him
(he drove you home safely with his two drunken friends singing 2000s hits all the way home and you both exchanged numbers)
song mingi
the biggest regret of your life is moving in to a shared apartment that was listed on craiglist
yeah.... you don't know what you were thinking
your roommate is literally a descendant from hell
and not in the cool sexy demon way
but in the 'i've made it my job to make your life a living hell' kinda way
besides the fact that:
a) she never cleans up after herself (whether it be dishes, laundry, or anything, really) and,
b) she acts like you're the bane of her existence,,,
it feels like she has a guy over every night
and honestly, you have no qualms about her getting dicked down because good for her
but the walls are PAPER THIN
you really wonder how she never got a noise complaint over how loud she is
and you have to applaud her for her stamina because they would go for hoouuurs and you'd end up watching the sun rise without getting a wink of sleep everytime
it's gotten to the point where your friends are concerned because you'd show up to class or hangouts with eyebags and a murderous look on your face
your sleep schedule is so messed up
you'd do all your assignments during the night with your headphones in, go to classes during the day, then pass out right after your classes end
all of your friends are kinda on edge around you because they're scared you're gonna Snapℱ one day lmao
anyways, you were just chilling one night with your headphones in (which you immediately put on after hearing the unmistakable high pitched noises coming from your roommate's room), waiting for it to be 8 am so you can go to your morning class
when your laptop suddenly lost connection to your wifi
and you hate working on your google docs offline !!!! >:-(
so you forced yourself to get up and go to the living room to see what's going on with your wifi router
only to find a butt naked man hovering over it
eeEEK
"what the fuck!!!" you scream, grabbing the nearest thing to you (a throw pillow on the couch) and launching it on the stranger who's very much naked in your living room
"what--" the man cries out, looking back to see you with your eyes closed just as the pillow bounces off his head. "who the fuck are you??"
you wish you kept your eyes open just to let him see your eyeroll but you quickly scratch that thought because you really don't want to see a stranger's dick at 7 in the morning
your nostrils flare at the nerve of whoever this guy is at your apartment
"excuse me??? who the fuck are you?"
turns out, his name is mingi, and you came to know of it after he got appropriately dressed, turned on and off your wifi router, and sat down across you to enjoy his breakfast that you made
you also came to learn that he's the one who made your roommate sound like a literal pornstar last night
"so, uhh.." the blonde awkwardly starts, gripping his cutlery as he pathetically tries to strike up a conversation while you're busy wolfing down your breakfast. "you cook often?"
the simple question turns into a long conversation that you surprisingly find yourself enjoying
not only is he super cute,,,, but he's also so fun to tease
you move to clear away both of your plates and mingi looks up to you in awe, "that was the best breakfast i've ever had."
you smile, "sure, and that will be $53."
"huh?"
your raise a brow, "you think i'm giving you free breakfast?"
you laugh when you see him scramble to pull out his phone and ask you for your venmo
"dude, i was just kidding," you reassure him, "but please give me a heads up if you're coming over to fuck my roommate again. i couldn't get a wink of sleep last night."
mingi turns a bright shade of red
jung wooyoung
you can't believe it
never in your life would you think you'd be a witness to MURDER
you were just calmly walking back home after meeting up with your friends when you spot a guy with both of his arms pointed to the sky
you had a "little bit" of soju during your monthly bbq hangouts with your friends, so your tipsy self took some time to openly judge and even snort at the stupid looking stranger
that is until, a golden bow materialises into his hold
what in the hunger games lmao
.... you scratch your eyes, hoping to clear your vision
his right hand reaches into the air again, seemingly pulling out two golden arrows with their tips dipped in crimson out of nowhere
wtf did someone lace your soju
and then he nocks them, one above the other, and draws the string back
is he about to shoot someone??????
he releases the arrows in the direction of two people conversing with each other in a playground's swing set not too far away from you and-- holy sHIT HE'S SHOOTING TWO PEOPLE AT ONCE
you hear the wind rip as the arrows zips through the air before embedding deep into the unsuspecting targets' chests
it took point three seconds for you to realize what the suspicscious man did
and that's when you scream
very loudly
but wait a minute
......... there's nothing
there's no blood, no dead bodies dropping to the floor, and the arrows that struck their chests somehow vanished into thin air
in fact, the two people he shot looks happier now
that's weird
but you continue to scream anyway
the boy whips his head to see you; a little tipsy and screaming your head off, and when your eyes lock with one another, his eyes go impossibly wider
he swiftly dashes off into your direction after carelessly throwing his bow into the air and wait,,,, did the bow just dissappear??? it was right there--
a hand suddenly clamps over your mouth
"stop screaming."
.................
you proceed to scream even louder
the boy lets out an annoyed grunt, somehow dragging you into an alley with his hand still clamped over your mouth and the other gripping the back of your head tightly
"look i need you to calm down, okay?" he lets out a huff, nervous hands running through his red hair -- a detail you just noticed with the moonlight shining on him
you finally stop screaming and he immedieately sighs in relief, loosening his grip on you
you take a good look at him
he's beautiful
"thank you," the boy nonchalantly replies, too distracted with looking out the alley to make sure no one saw you struggling against a body of air into an alley. "just to be clear, i didn't kill them okay? they're perfectly fine"
but you're not even listening to him
"you can read my mind?!"
"yes i can but that's not the point," the redhead squints. "i need you to understand that i didn't kill them and that you're not supposed to be able to see me"
you swallow
this guy might be cute but,,,,, you definitely wouldn't risk it because he's weird weird
"umm okay, mr. i'm-not-a-murderer,, what else would you be doing with a bow and arrow besides killing someone??? running your cupid errands or something haha????"
he knocks his head to the side, taking quick steps to near you that has you pinned against the wall as his eyes rake over you in scrutiny
"who sent you?"
pffft LMAOOO ïœĄïŸŸ(TミT)
"what are you on???" you breathe, having to take in a large gulp of air after literally laughing your ass off because of how ridicilous he sounds
there's an offended tick to the boy's brow, his stare drilling at you
you wipe tears from your eyes, "you're saying you're the cupid? or eros? or uh,,, whatever his name is"
the boy rolls his eyes, placing his hands in the pockets of his pants as he moves to lean against the brick wall beside you. "yeah,, cupid or eros works. but i prefer wooyoung."
your jaw slackens. this guy can't be serious
"okay, wooyoung. how do i know you're not lying?"
the same golden bow you saw earlier materializes in front of you out of nowhere, its grip in a firm grasp within wooyoung's hand
huh,,,, seems pretty legit
mhm okay you're sold, you guess you can tick off meeting someone supernatural off your bucketlist!
wooyoung chuckles, he must've read your mind again, and he turns to look at you at his side, mouth still gaping in awe at his glowing bow
"glad you finally believe i'm real," he smugly grins, flinging his bow to the side where it magically vanishes in mid-air
"although, you're really not supposed to be able to see me. you're the first mortal to ever do so."
you see curiosity lighting up his eyes but you also see something else
relief
"you're the first mortal to ever do so."
he probably has uh godly friends up there but,, you can't imagine how lonely it must feel to walk on earth without anyone acknowledging you,,,, as if you don't exist
everyone should have someone around!!! D-:
"let's be friends!"
"what?" his eyes fall back to its usual indifferent gaze, this time, with a tinge of nervousness. "i don't even know your name, how are we supposed to be friends??"
"hush, i know you know my name from the beginning. you probably read it off my mind," (you're right), "now come on! you have to show me some more of your katniss everdeen side!!"
"katnip what??" he yelps in disbelief, figure remaining still despite the incessant tugs on his wrist by your attempt of pulling him out of the alley
"and i don't need friends!"
he was about to go off more about how people would think you're batshit crazy because they won't be able to see him and- oop his back is off the wall now, yeap he's moving out the alley with you successfully pulling him
"yes you do!" you turn to look at him and made a stop once you both are out of the alley, a grin makes it way on your face. "i can't believe it!!!! i'm cupid's first friend!!!"
a faint smile almost places itself on wooyoung's face because hey, being friends with you doesn't seem too bad
but he tramples it down with all his might, rolling his eyes and letting out a huff instead
"just follow me and keep your mouth shut."
guess he's stuck with you then
(he's a little bit happy about that. just a little.)
choi jongho
you knew you should've trusted your gut feeling on not going to the frat party
“but ynnnnnnnn,” one of your best friends, yuna, whines, “it’s been forever since you partied with us!!! just this one time please please !!!!!”
and you being the easily moved person you are reluctantly agreed after some more convincing
“don’t worry babe,” ryujin, another one of your best friends, reassures you while applying lip gloss in her vanity, “i’ll personally kick your ex’s ass if he tries anything on you.”
right, your ex
he’s the prime reason why you would not step foot in any more college parties because trust yourself when you say that he will be in every available party
but you know what
you’re kinda siCK of that !!!
so even though your ex is borderline crazy and threatens you to get back together even if you don’t want to
you’re gonna go to the party :-D
with your five besties protecting you
<333
“let’s go!!!” chaeryeong whoops with her head out the opened car window as yeji, the designated driver of the night, parks the car in front of the already blaring frat house
“now girls,” lia starts, “make sure your phones are always on okay?? and make sure at least one of us knows where you are—”
she’s interrupted by the door slamming open and oh yup there they go—
ryujin, chaeryeong, and yuna are already sprinting across the lawn to get to the house
you all exchange looks as lia lets out a sigh
it’s gonna be a long night
turns out, it’s gonna be an even longer night
specifically just for you
you were just in the kitchen trying to pour some vodka into your red solo cup when you lock eyes with him
your ex, stood in front of the opened fridge
woops what, vodka?? yeah i don’t need that because i’m getting outta here bye
“y/n, wait.”
you briskly walk to the living room slash dance floor with your eyes desperately trying to find your fiery friend who promised to kick the ass of the man currently following you as he tries to call after you
to no avail
you’re kIND of panicking now!!!!!
just then, a figurative lightbulb flickers above your head when your eyes land on a guy with dark brown hair with a cup of his own perched on a corner alone
you’re hoping this works
you practically sprint to him and he looks like his heart is about to pop off his chest at the sight of someone barrelling towards him at full speed
“i’m so sorry but i have a crazy ex who’s following me literally right now so can you please be my boyfriend for like 5 seconds?”
the words jumbled out of you in a haste— too quick for jongho to catch anything else besides ‘crazy ex’ and ‘be my boyfriend’ but he knows from your panicked eyes that you’re asking for help
and of course he will
jongho’s eyes scan around the living room, finally seeing the guy who he can tell is your ex by the determined steps he’s taking towards you along with his eyes set on you
ok yeah jongho agrees with you
because damn this guy does look like he’s crazy
he figures there’s nothing to lose
“yeah, sure.”
jongho expects you to probably just linger near him in hopes of your ex leaving or maybe he’d have to play the role of the protective “boyfriend” by landing a punch on your ex if he tries to pick on a fight
what he didn’t expect was your lips meeting his own
if jongho is an android, the wires in his head would've short circuit 
your arms move to wrap at the back of his neck and you slightly tip toe so you can reach him better
he almost faltered on the kiss because he finds that so cute 
only after you initiated the touch does he place his hands on your waist to pull you even closer as he surprisingly deepens the kiss into a sweet kiss
his soft lips slowly guide you into a slower tempo, smoothly taking charge by moving a hand to softly grasp your cheek while the other rubs comforting circles on your exposed waist 
YOU’RE TRYING SO HARD NOT TO BLUSH
“what the fuck– get off my girl man!”
you’re forcefully separated from the boy with a breathless gasp as your ex pins him against the wall
despite your ex shouting obscenities at him with a hand wrapped on the collar of his shirt, the brunette doesn’t look scared at all
in fact, he kinda looks bored
his eyes lazily rake over your ex and he indignantly smirks before letting out a deep chuckle that silences the boy in front of him
“how pathetic.”
his big shoulders effortlessly knocks your ex to the side as he shoots a glare at him
this time, he’s the one standing in front of your ex with his intimidatingly large figure towering over him
“if you ever touch her or even fucking try to look at her, i’ll make sure to let everyone in this house know to beat the shit out of you whenever we see you.”
that’s when realization seeps into your ex and his body immediately froze
“oh shit, jongho, i-i’m sorry man,” your ex stammers, silently cursing himself for blindly messing with one of the frat members in their own party, “i didn’t know that she’s yours.”
“she’s not a thing you can own,” jongho rolls his eyes, roughly pushing your ex off the wall and harshly slapping his hand on his back to force him towards the door’s direction, “now get out of here.”
as your ex scrambles out the door, you turn to face jongho with your head slightly muddled by the fact that 
a) you kissed a frat boy
b) he’s hot
c) oh and have you mentioned that he’s hot?
“you good?”
you scramble out of your thoughts to see him looking over you carefully, “yeah
. thank you for that.”
a gummy smile lights up his face and you’re kinda confused because this guy does not resemble the intimidation he showed earlier at all, “no problem.” 
ok go off duality king
“wanna get out of here?”
this is the first time you met a frat boy who’s not really interested in the party he’s in
but you like that :-D
you smile, “sounds good.”
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a1sart · 2 years ago
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I posted 18,195 times in 2022
That's 16,215 more posts than 2021!
161 posts created (1%)
18,034 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@meeowerzz
@enderspawn
@legogeek33
@manjirian
@shrikeicee
I tagged 10,358 of my posts in 2022
Only 43% of my posts had no tags
#dream smp - 2,376 posts
#lego ninjago - 1,382 posts
#mcyt - 1,037 posts
#lol - 877 posts
#wilbur soot - 563 posts
#ranboo - 562 posts
#yes - 509 posts
#double life smp - 483 posts
#rottmnt - 425 posts
#tommyinnit - 419 posts
Longest Tag: 135 characters
#apologizing to my irl friends when i go bowling with them tomorrow and the only thing i'll be talking about is the lore i'll be missing
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
*wakes suddenly as if from a nightmare* Tightrope from the greatest showman would make an excellent double life cleo and scott animatic! *collapses back into my nest of blankets and pillows and goes the fuck back to sleep*
44 notes - Posted June 19, 2022
#4
I love that the last ones to actually find their soulmates are also the last 4 left alive. What a happy, poetic little accident.
77 notes - Posted July 22, 2022
#3
does anyone have any tmnt 2012 X rottmnt crossover fic recs that are majority lighthearted? Or is this one of those “guess I’ll have to write it myself” kinda situations?
87 notes - Posted November 26, 2022
#2
Princess Charm School takes place in a dystopian future where every state in the US has seceded and become a monarchy.
134 notes - Posted January 18, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
so the ninja are canonically celebrities right? which means they have fans
y’know what fans do?
write fanfiction that’s what
headcanons about how the ninja feel about that under the cut :) (cut because this is long not because there’s nsfw headcanons or anything I don’t write that stuff)
Kai fucking loves it. He discovered that people wrote fanfic and he immediately started reading the most popular fics. Eventually he ends up with a ninjago version of an ao3 account (his username is probably fiyaamaster or something) and he makes it public. He shares it on his Chirp. He has all his fanfic boundries listed in his bio. People make memes about him finding their fics. Eventually an offcial “Kai DNI” tag is made because he’s read so many fics. He even wrote a fic once. It becomes the most popular fic on the site. It’s terrible. People quote it in memes. People have started sending him fic recs.
Jay is less enthusastic about fanfic. He thinks it’s weird that people write about him as if he’s a fictional character instead of a person. He doesn’t stop anyone from writing about him or including him in their fics though. The team doesn’t feel complete if one of them is missing and that carries over to fics. So he lets people write about him. He does avoid fics as much as he can though. He doesn’t seek them out.
Cole is resigned about it. He’s accepted that it happens and he can’t stop it. He doesn’t mind. Occasionally he will read one if it seems interesting. He had Kai post his fic boundries on his Chirp because Kai has more followers than him.
Zane is confused by fanfiction. (or at least rpf fanfiction. He completely understands fanfiction for non-rpf fandoms). He understands writing about people in like, a historical context for history books or biographies. But writing completely fictional things about real people? He finds it kind of odd. He has read a couple of fics because kai reccomended them but he doesn’t seek them out.
Nya is sort of amused by them? She reads them ironically if they seem funny but occasionally catches herself reading them completely unironically because the story looks interesting. She sees them as just stories where the characters have the same names as her and her friends. Theres a sort of disconnect between herself and the version of her in fics. She’s serious about her boundries though because she knows other people don’t see it the same way she does. She posted them on her Chirp and had Kai boost it so more people saw. She doesn’t read nearly as many fics as Kai but she does have a solid third place in ninja fic reading at the monastery. (When Nya became the sea a lot people stopped including her in fics because it felt disrespectful. This upset Kai and Jay because it feels like people are covering up her existance. It fueled Jays idea that people were forgetting Nya.)
Lloyd is an absolute fanboy. He used to write fanfic about Starfarer when he was at Darkleys so he is completely unsurprised when he discovers that people write fics about him. He has his boundries on Kai’s Chirp and he reads them if Kai thinks they’re good. He has a ninjago ao3 account that he used to use for starfarer that he uses for ninja fic reading now. He once live streamed a reading for a really prolific meme fic and the chat almost died. He even did voices. Other than that he’s pretty chill about it.
Pixal is on the same page with Zane on the fics thing. She reads more than him though. She has an account (her username is probably something like P.I.X.A.Lao3). She leaves detailed critique in the comments. No one knows it’s her. They all (mostly) assume it’s some random fan account. The fandom has started memes about the mysterious critique account. Theres a “P.I.X.A.Lao3 Please DO interact, actually” tag for her account because she gives genuinely good advice. Theres a conpsiracy theory in the fandom that the account belongs to Pixal but no one likes to think too hard about it. She finds this amusing. Cyrus Borg thinks it’s hilarious.
Wu actually doesn’t care. People have been writing about him since before time had a name. He’s the son of GOD. People write about him all the time. He doesn’t see fic as any different. He’s just used to it. He’s the one holding second place fic reading because of this technicality. He’s read a lot of stuff about him over the years. Not as much as Kai though lol.
Misako doesn’t read fic about herself and never plans to. She doesn’t care all that much.
139 notes - Posted August 18, 2022
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