#October 1 documentary

[garthnadermemestash]

🦄

[cherriegyuu]

lens of ice | yjh | two (final)

pairing: jeonghan x f!reader genre: figure skater jeonghan, light angst, a little fluff, these people are just in soo love, smut word count: 17k summary: jeonghan has only one chance left to make it to the olympics. as he embarks on this decisive journey, you, a documentarist, are set to follow him as he seeks the ultimate glory. warnings: minors do not interact, kissing, masturbation (f) a/n: i can't belive i actually managed to finish this one! i started to write it maybe in october and it took me forever but here it is. again, thank you to @ressonancee for giving me the idea and putting up with my shit💓

part one || part two (final)

The thought of going back on your word crossed your mind, truthfully. You weren’t even sure why you said yes to dinner with Jeonghan in the first place.

It was a recipe for disaster. It was the only way you could possibly describe the situation, to begin with. The flirting had gotten out of hand, to the point where Seungkwan was already angry and had said “if he grows balls big enough to ask you out, please say yes, this tension is annoying”. Vernon had agreed.

When you heard that from Seungkwan, you thought that he was crazy, that he had completely lost his mind. While it was safe to say that you had developed a crush on Jeonghan, something completely inappropriate in your work, it was hard to tell where he stood.

You liked to think that from day one you were able to say what was on Jeonghan’s mind. You had been able to say that he was holding back on his answers and you called him out on his shit, something that proved to be very efficient, because after that he started to answer all of your questions with honesty. Or at least, you liked to think that he was.

It never really crossed your mind that Jeonghan might have some sort of interest in you. You thought that he was flirting more for sport than for anything else.

The rumors ran around, about how he was sort of a player but he was careful not to date any other skater. Not to create a sense of discomfort, someone had said on a forum online.

It was something that you had yet to ask him. About his love life. And there were two main reasons for that: 1) you didn’t know if it was something that he wanted to talk about and unless he had a wife or a serious girlfriend, it mattered very little to the documentary; 2) you didn’t want to know the answer.

It had never happened to you like that before. You had done so many interviews, went to many places, met so many different people, and not a single one of them was able to captivate you quite as Jeonghan had.

You knocked on the door and waited. A second later, Jeonghan opened the door. You had grown too used to seeing him in comfortable clothes, shirts that were way too big for him, sweats. The only piece of clothing that showed any shape of his body were the pants he used to practice and even then, everything was hidden under a large hoodie.

The man in front of you had tailored pants and a dress shirt on, the sleeves folded back, revealing his arm.

You cleared your throat, suddenly unaware of what to say.

“I was thinking you had given up,” he said with a smile, almost uncertain.

You shook your head immediately.

“There was a lot of traffic today, it’s a friday after all”

It was indeed friday but there wasn’t as much traffic as you made it seem. The truth was that you were late to leave your apartment. Just as you were leaving you got cold feet and sat down on the couch for about twenty minutes, wondering if you were doing the right thing.

What if whatever happened that night, let it be good or bad, affected your job? Realistically speaking, there was no way that it wouldn’t. If it turned out to be a bad date, then things could get awkward. And if it turned out to be good you simply wouldn’t know how to handle yourself or him.

“Sorry that I didn’t take you out, out. And this is all that I had to offer”

He took a step to the side, giving you enough space to walk in. Although you had been to his home many times and sort of knew how it looked from the heart, it felt different to walk in without having Seungkwan and Vernon at your back, carrying one too many bags of gear. The place looked all too different and familiar at the same time.

“No, this is great actually” you smiled at him.

Your smile grew bigger once you saw the table he had set. The room was half lit by candles, in the center of the table was a small vase with fresh flowers, the city behind the window a perfect canvas. A bottle of wine waited for the two of you and the plates, delicate porcelain, were set. Instead of sitting opposite each other, Jeonghan made it so that you were both facing the window.

“You said you liked the night view,” he said while scratching the back of his head.

You turned to him, smiling, wanting to reassure him that it was perfect.

“I really do,” you said softly “Did you cook?”

The apartment smelled heavenly. It was the smell of homemade food if you still even knew what that was like. At least you had never ordered food that smelled like that. Maybe ordering was something that you weren’t that good at, or maybe Jeonghan was just one of those people who went above and beyond even when just ordering.

“I did,” he said proudly “I don’t know if it tastes good, but I followed the recipe to the T”

He pulled the chair out for you, his smile sweet while he watched you. 

The little butterflies on your stomach found life again, suddenly floating around. You wanted to face-palm yourself. Just a few months before you thought the worst about Jeonghan and suddenly there you were, saying yes to a date with him, your heart hammering inside your chest. 

With one of his hands still on the back of our chair, Jeonghan reached for the bottle of wine, pouring some of it into the glass in front of you.

You expected him to sit by your side but he took a step back, making a turn to the kitchen. You started to get up to follow him, but Jeonghan came back and pushed you onto the chair again. 

“Let me help you,” you laughed, looking up at him.

Jeonghan scrunched his nose at you and shook his head. 

“You stay right here. I’m just going to bring the food out”

He squeezed your shoulder before moving to the kitchen.

You rested your chin on your hand, looking at the city in front of you. There were very few parts of town that had such a beautiful view, not that you were one to enjoy looking at lit-up buildings. But maybe it was the moment, it was the way the way your skin tingled where Jeonghan’s fingers had touched you. You pressed a hand to your chest, urging your heart to calm down a little.

You liked to think that you were only feeling that way because it had been a long time since you had dated someone, since anyone had shown real interest in you, since you wanted to get to know someone past the work environment. 

There was a little movement to your right before Jeonghan came back into the room. He set the dish in front of you and while you weren’t too sure what it was — it looked like some kind of stew — it smelled and looked amazing.

“I have to admit that I don’t usually cook a lot, or at all most times” he laughed “Most times someone comes in and cooks enough for a week or two, following the diets I have to be on. So all I have to do is take it out of the freezer and eat”

You watched as he set the dish in front of you, steam coming out of it, and put some on the place in front of you. He did the same for himself before finally sitting by your side. 

“I never saw someone around here, besides Joshua”

You took a sip of the wine before taking the spoon in your hand. 

“She usually comes when I’m out for practice, or in these past few months…” Jeonghan was in the middle of his sentence when he saw your writhed face “What’s wrong?”

“I’m really sorry,” you said, covering your mouth with both hands, trying to hold back your laugh.

Jeonghan looked at you, laughing too, but he was in complete disbelief.

“It can’t be this bad” he reached for his spoon.

You were already laughing when Jeonghan started to cough, taking a large gulp of the wine. How had he managed to fuck up so bad was beyond him. He followed the recipe to the details but somehow it tasted bitter.

“Did you taste it, at all?”

“I… no?”

He groaned when you started to laugh at him again but somehow ended up right along with you. 

“I swear I followed the recipe,” he said again. 

He wanted to have a nice date with you and get to know you better. Although it wasn’t going exactly as he had planned, seeing you laugh like that, so loudly and carefree somehow made it all worth it. Jeonghan made a mistake that he shouldn’t have, one that with someone else would have turned the night into a complete disaster but with you, it became something to laugh about. 

And Jeonghan loved the sound of your laugh. Since he met you on that first day, he wondered what it would be like to hear it. You had gone off on him, baring guns in both hands, your hostility screaming at him the entire time. 

He had done his best, or at least he thought he did. However, on the very next day, you called him off on his shit and said that the footage they had was unusable because he hadn’t been honest enough. 

Jeonghan hadn’t been honest enough with anyone, ever. He wasn’t even sure that he was honest with himself. He always worried about whether or not he was able to move forward. Pushing forward was one thing, actually living was another one, entirely too different. 

Throughout most of his life, Jeonghan only knew how to push forward, like a bull. The world around him mattered very little, the people around him mattered even less. 

Somewhere along the way, Jeonghan became all too obsessed with numbers and the love he had for the sport became a shadow. Even then, when he was doing everything in his power to make it to the next Olympics, his last, he wasn’t really sure it was something he still wanted or if he was doing all of that simply because it became second nature to him. 

Skating was like breathing but it had become awfully painful to do so. 

And then you came in and for the first time, he wanted to impress someone. Who he already was, or the version of him he showed, did nothing for you. You looked bored most of the time. Talking with Seungkwan about it had made things clear in his mind. And he felt it in the way the original direction of the documentary had changed. 

It wasn’t just about the sport anymore, how he was healing to make it to the competition. It truly became about him. 

“Maybe something was rotten, don’t worry about it” you patted his hand, reassuringly. 

Jeonghan saw a chance and he took it, holding your hand. For a second your fingers stilled in his, your eyes a little wide looking back at his. He almost pulled away from you, his dropping a little when you didn’t seem to want his touch. 

Then your eyes grew a little softer and ever so lightly you held his hand back. 

“I really wanted to have a nice dinner with you, though”

You couldn’t help but smile at his cute pout. 

“Maybe we could order something?” you pointed at the wine in front of you “In my experience, wine and pizza are a great combo”

You were the first one in the office, which was a first for you. Not that you were someone who was constantly late. It was just that you were usually the last one to leave. 

However, sleep wasn’t something that came to you. You were too giggly, your mind wandering through places that normally it didn’t so you thought that working a little was maybe a good idea to take your mind off things. 

Not things. Someone. 

Yoon Jeonghan.

Despite the initial accident, the night had been nothing but perfect. When was the last time you had fun? Actual fun, not the kind you sort of force yourself to have not to bother others, or to try to fit in some sort of situation. 

The night with Jeonghan had been so easy. Conversation simply floating around you. You didn’t feel like you were there to interview him or to be interviewed. You were just talking, getting to know each other in a way that was so entirely different from how things had gone between the two of you until then.

Jeonghan, you learned, was a menace in school and with his sister, always playing pranks and still somehow managing to get away every single time. I could make such an innocent face and everyone would just fall for it, he said at some point. There was no hint of regret in his voice and his eyes were filled with mischievousness while he talked. 

“There were these kids who made fun of me because I was a small kid. I tried to let it go but it went on for months. One day,” he said smiling, the memory of the day still completely fresh in his mind “I was already angry that I couldn’t make a move, I don’t even remember what it was, to be honest. They kept picking on me, saying these snarky comments so I waited. One of them left his bag behind, with his skates hanging off of them. I filled both of them with boiling water. I still remember his mother screaming at him”

You gasped, sort of laughing but also a little bit in shock at the mind of a 9-year-old. But awfully dangerous too, for both of them. 

“What if he put the skates on?”

It was hard to mask the horror in your voice

“It was after practice, while we waited for our parents to pick us up. He left his skates back and went to play because his mom was late. I just wanted to ruin his skates, not for him to get hurt. I took his takes to the kitchen, poured the water in, and let it sit there for about ten minutes before I put his bag back where I found it”

Your laugh was too spontaneous and Jeonghan couldn’t help but laugh along. Since the moment he saw you for the first time, he thought of you as beautiful but watching you laugh, so openly and carefree was breathtaking. His heart behaved in a way that he didn’t see coming. 

“I think we need to send you to a doctor because I refuse to believe you’re normal”

Suddenly just holding your hand wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He wanted to kiss you, he wanted to know what it would feel like to press against yours and have you want it too. His mind, he had decided long before he even met you, was the kind that liked to play tricks. So maybe it was playing a trick and it came up with the thought that you wanted to kiss him too. Maybe he was imagining that your eyes moved from his eyes to his lips from time to time.

He wanted to make the first move, he knew that if he didn’t the chance of you doing it was very little. At the same time, he was scared that it might push you too far. You had gotten surprised enough when he held your hand.

Realistically he knew that it wasn’t much but the two of you worked together and there was still so much more to do, the Olympics were still months away. And although you weren’t going to see each other every single day in those months, you would still have enough meetings. 

So what if he read it all wrong and things suddenly became awkward again? The last thing he wanted to do was go back to how it was when you first time. You had been cold and distant but for an entirely different reason. 

“Jeonghan?” your voice had been the quiets he had ever heard from you “It might be the wine talking so if I do say something weird please blame it on the alcohol and tomorrow we pretend that I never said anything at all”

He looked the the two bottles already empty and the third one by the middle. It was, indeed, a lot of wine. 

“Is everything okay?”

You sighed, eyes closed for a second before finally looking at him again. 

“I need you to kiss me, okay?” you said exasperated “Because if you don’t I don’t think I…”

Jeonghan’s lips were on yours before you even finished what you were saying. He hoped that it was along the lines of I don’t think I will. 

Your lips, he decided right then, were his favorite thing in the entire world. He loved that when he pressed harder you made way for him, your lips parted to give him full access. Your hand moved from his chest, up to his shoulder, and then the nape of his neck, lightly tugging at his hair. And when you let out a small whimper on the back of your throat he swore his entire world almost became undone. 

The night had turned, somehow, into a make-out session. The two of you ended up on his couch, hands all over each other and bubbling laughter. And you refused to complain. It was everything you wanted and then so much more. 

Leaving had been so hard. All you wanted to do was to lose yourself in Jeonghan and all that he was and that silently promised to be, even if it was just for one night. You had to force yourself to leave and Jeonghan didn’t make it easier for you. If anything, he did his best to make it as hard as possible. 

He went down with you, and waited for the cab by your side, your hand tucked inside the pocket of his jacket while he played with your fingers. 

“You could let me take you back” you looked at him, eyebrows raised “I don’t mean driving but I could get in the cab with you and then come back”

“That’s just a waste of time. I’ll text you once I get home, I promise”

It was clear that your answer wasn’t the one he wanted but it was the only one he was going to get. He pulled you closer to him while you waited for the cab. The position was awkward you didn’t want to move, not in the least.

You were there for a couple of minutes before the taxi finally pulled up by your side. Jeonghan opened the door for you and waited for you to get inside. 

“Sir, I may not look like it, but I am crazy. So I hope you can get her some safe and sound”

The driver looked at you from his rearview mirror, eyes wide. 

“He really is” you played along “He once threw hot water at a kid”

Jeonghan laughed, a little too hysterically, too much wine you were sure. He stuck his head through the window and quickly kissed you. 

“Seriously, text me as soon as you get home”

With a groan, you hid your face in your hands, knowing fully well that the warmth in your cheeks didn't come from the weather but from the memory of Jeonghan. You laughed a little, remembering how you had to assure the driver that Jeonghan wasn't actually crazy and that he had never thrown hot water at a child. The man didn't seem to believe you but that mattered very little. 

You were overflown with a sort of happiness that was new and also so very scary. 

That giddiness was something you always wanted to feel, but never actually got around to it. Your previous boyfriends, not that there were many of them, never really managed to get that much of a reaction out of you. That was not to say that you didn’t like them at all, because you did. You wouldn’t have stayed with them for a second too long if there were no feelings at all involved. 

Your feelings for them, however, were so small compared with the way you felt about Jeonghan. It was one date, just one night, and it felt as if your entire life had changed in a way you thought that there would be no coming back from. 

“You’re early,” someone said behind you. 

You felt as if your soul had just left your body when your entire body jumped at the new sound. You had been so lost in your thoughts that you failed to notice Seungkwan walking in and of course, Vernon right behind him. 

“Jesus, what the fuck” you ran your hands over your face before turning around to face him. 

Like most mornings, Seungkwan had a coffee in his hand and his phone in the other one. Come to think of it, you weren’t sure you had ever seen him without a coffee in his hands. You weren’t sure how someone could drink so much coffee and still function but then again, he was drinking iced americano most times and the coffee in there had so much water that you were sure most of the caffeine was deluded so…

“So…” he wiggled his eyebrows at you.

God, you hated the fact that he knew. Behind him, Vernon also had an expectant face. Of course, he too wanted to know. The problem was that you didn’t want either of them to know. It was something you wanted to keep to yourself, locked behind countless doors. And maybe, just maybe, if you were lucky enough you’d get to savor that feeling again if a second date with Jeonghan ever happened. 

“Do you want to go over something or we can just… you know, work?”

“Aaah” he complained, carefully setting his coffee on his desk before spinning your chair until you turned to him “You can’t leave me in the dark like this”

“Us, actually,” Vernon said, doing the best he could to hide his smile. 

You had always thought that Vernon was someone who was on the quieter side of the world. Mostly he kept to himself but when paired with Boo Seungkwan? The man could be just as troublesome as the other one. Pair that with the fact that both of them were good friends who often went out together and you’d get yourself a perfect mix for a gossip disaster. 

Seungkwan, as the one who is so friendly everyone just wants to spill their deepest secrets because he looks like someone who’d always offer crazy advice. 

Vernon, as the quiet one everyone wants to tell their secrets because he looks like someone who’d keep all of them just to himself. 

The one thing everyone seems to forget is the fact that those two are friends and they talk. Hopefully only amongst themselves but you weren’t willing to bet on it. There was no way you’d want people to know that you went out with the one person who you were working with. The celebrity, most of all. 

“I’m not saying a word” you just shook your head and moved away from him "We have a lot of work to do, so get going".

“You’re not saying a word about what exactly?” Jihoon said, coming up from behind Seungkwan.

The younger man looked somewhat in distress, his eyes wide going from you to Jihoon, then back to you again. It was at that moment you realized that he had never really crossed your mind, in any way while you were Jeonghan, ever. He wasn’t even an afterthought or anything of the sort. He wasn’t even your boss. Jihoon was no one. 

“I went on a date last night, that’s all”

It was as if you were the one entering the ice, the one who was being watched by so many eyes. Instead, you were one of the people watching. Your legs were shaking up and down, up and down, and there was no real way for you to stop it from happening. You felt as if your future was the one in line, not Jeonghan’s. 

To you, the only real consequence of him not making it was that that documentary would be canceled, for him it meant that everything he had worked for was lost and his last opportunity would never come. 

So, the reality of it was that you were nervous for him. Because you had finally gotten a real glimpse of Jeonghan and you knew how much it meant to him, all of it. He downplayed it, yes, but it was on everything he didn’t say. 

You could see it in his eyes whenever he mentioned figure skating, which was surprisingly very little when you didn’t have a camera on his face. It was clear in the practiced every single movement with such care, always aiming for precision, in an almost healthy way. 

Jeonghan downplayed it a lot but the sport meant everything to him. 

You sat in the bleachers, Seungkwan to your left and Vernon to your right. The three of you hadn’t gotten permission to be closer to the ice, or anywhere near really. Athlete after athlete performed, every single one of them doing so well that you felt your heart start to beat in a mismatched way. 

Your stomach was tied in knots, a lump on your throat as if you were about to spill your guts out at any given moment. You were too nervous and you hated it. Because if Jeonghan saw you, which you doubted, you wanted him to see someone who was confident and sure that he was going to do well, not someone who looked like she was about to faint. I will find you in the crow, he said the night before.

“You look like you’re the one about to be evaluated,” Seungkwan said.

He patted your hand, which unknowingly gripped your thigh as strongly as you possibly could, your knuckles turning white. 

“How did he do this for so many years?” you whispered

The question was more to yourself than to Seungkwan. 

In one of the many conversations, you had with Jeonghan, coming to mind. 

“The worst part of it all is being compared to other people,” he said, eyes distant, as if his mind was taking him to somewhere he didn’t want to be but at that moment he didn’t have a choice “Because what if I’m having a great day but the other isn’t? What if I had more chance to practice than others? What if I have an injury and the other doesn’t? We’re never on the same scale”

He looked troubled, eyes brows furrowed. You took his hand in yours, your fingers massaging his palm. His eyes looked a bit clearer when he turned to you but still, there was so much vulnerability in them. For a moment it was like seeing the same boy from the videos, someone who seemed powerful but was still so scared.

And ultimately that’s what it was. Fear. 

It was his last chance and he was scared if might fail. Jeonghan wasn’t too sure that he could live with himself if he did. 

“Truth is, there’s never going to be a scale. Ideally, it would be great but that is not the reality of it. I think your best should be enough, always. You’ve doing everything you can and we can all see it” you scooted closer to him on the couch, resting your shin on his shoulder “To me, you’re the best in the entire world, ever. It’s not much, I know, but I hope you know that I will unconditionally root for you”

Maybe it was unfair for Jeonghan to think like that, but for the first time in many years, he truly felt as if someone was by his side. You held his hand because you knew that he was scared, you cared and the reasons were yet unknown to him. Either way, he was going to hold onto it.

“I think that for people like us it sounds excruciating, but I bet he’s used to it” Seungkwan’s voice brought you back.

He hates it too, you wanted to say to choose to stay quiet. If there were things Jeonghan wanted to keep a secret, even if it was opposite to what you were supposed to do, you would keep your mouth shut. 

Even before the screams, you felt something swift in the air and it could only be described as Jeonghan. It was as if the air suddenly turned electric and his present, all on its own, larger than the small arena you were in. When you finally saw him, the air got stuck in your lungs.

On a daily basis, Jeonghan was an extremely handsome man. Almost inhuman and unfair to others around him. But that day, while he walked in, he was indescribable. Nothing about him was normal.

It was like seeing a work of art in motion as if a painting on display in a fancy museum had come to life and was walking among the mere mortals of that gymnasium.

Jeonghan wore blue, a color that you discovered was his signature. In every competition he participated in, even as a child, Jeonghan wore blue. Whether it was the entire outfit or just some detail. He always wore blue.

And then, like a moth drawn to a flame, Jeonghan's eyes met yours and he smiled. A different smile than the one you had seen him give so many times before. It was more natural, even sincere. You wanted to have smiled back and waved at him, but it was as if your entire body was frozen and any movement was impossible. And maybe you didn't want even more attention focused on yourself. The people sitting next to the three of you were whispering among themselves, so the last thing you wanted was for them to find out that that beautiful smile was directed at you.

"I don't know what's going on between you, but if someone smiled like that at me, right in the middle of the arena, with dozens of people watching, I'd get married immediately" Seungkwan didn't share the same feeling of remaining still and silent, but at least he was polite enough to whisper at your side.

A whimper escaped your mouth, but you chose not to say anything else. Because, in truth, you didn't even know what was happening between the two of you. There wasn't a conversation, a simple "yes, we're together", but whatever it was, however long it lasted, you were willing to enjoy every second of it.

Jeonghan positioned himself in the center of the ice, eyes closed, and took a deep breath, once, twice. The first chords of If I Could See You Again sounded through the scattered speakers and a new and completely unknown feeling spread throughout your body. Pride, perhaps.

One after another, Jeonghan executed the moves with precision, almost exactly like he had done in training. You couldn't tell if the differences were good or bad, which could take or add points to the total.

Almost at the end, with just a few seconds left until the end of the short program, Jeonghan lost his balance. Not to the point where he fell, but enough that he had to touch the ground to stop himself from falling. The three of them said, in unison, "shit", Seungkwan making a crying sound in the back of his throat.

With one last turn, the performance came to an end and the song ended. Even with the mistake, the crowd exploded in screams and applause. The famous rabbits and stuffed animals were thrown towards Jeonghan. Following the people around you, you also stood up, clapping your hands.

Your heart begged Jeonghan to look in your direction again, even for a second. Jeonghan raised his head and the smile he gave was that rehearsed one, that you had seen many times before and that wasn't even remotely real. The irritation at his mistake was clear in his eyes, but no one seemed to notice.

He bowed to the judges and the audience behind them, sliding across the ice to catch one of the swooping rabbits. Finally, he turned towards you, his eyes immediately meeting yours. Throwing all caution out the window, you said "you did well" without making any real sound and hoped he understood.

Despite the bad taste in his mouth, left by his complete inability to complete the performance without mistakes, Jeonghan felt as if the hand that was squeezing his heart loosened when he looked at you. He waved once more to the audience and skated to the exit. His coach was waiting for him. The man's face was a strange mixture of relief and frustration.

"You did well," he said, even though the words were the same as yours, the intention was completely different "It wasn't such a serious mistake, so it shouldn't have too many points deducted. If it goes well tomorrow, we can advance to the world championship"

Jeonghan nodded. He didn't need to hear that, he knew, better than anyone, what was at risk and what he needed to do.

A performance without errors, that's all he needed.

At the request of Jeonghan's coach, there was no filming after the performance.

"He can talk about everything tomorrow. Now he has to focus on the free program"

You had no arguments to argue and you didn't want to either. Filming was, by far, your last concern. All you wanted to know was if Jeonghan was okay. You spent hours debating whether to call him or not, and in the end, you decided not to.

The big truth was that you had no idea where the lines were, which ones you could cross, and which ones you should religiously stay behind.

Therefore, you chose to send a text. Are you okay? was all you ask. Then you sat on the bed, legs crossed, and waited.

You didn't know what to do if Jeonghan would respond, or if he was concentrating to the point of not going near his cell phone - which was probably a good idea.

Jeonghan had the fourth-best score among short programs. Seungkwan explained that despite the mistake and the near fall, Jeonghan had moves that were considered difficult to execute and those were worth more points and he was precise in almost all of them, which resulted in him having a good score.

"If he hadn't made any mistakes, it's possible he would have come first," he commented, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Seungkwan was easily a fan. He didn't make the slightest point of hiding it. You weren’t one at first, you knew the bare minimum about skating, but as time went on, as you got to know Jeonghan, it was completely inevitable.

"I'm sure he can do it" Seungkwan assured.

The phone vibrated at first and half a second later the screen lit up and Jeonghan's name shone on the screen, a photo of his smiling face above his name. You hadn't uploaded a photo when you saved his contact, but you were sure who the culprit was.

"When did you put a picture of yourself on my phone?"

Jeonghan felt relief wash over his body just hearing your voice, knowing you were smiling on the other side. He was able to take a deep breath for the first time since the morning.

He couldn't quite understand how he had gotten into that situation. He couldn't even pinpoint a catalyzing moment, the moment he realized something was changing. One moment you were just someone he had to work with and then you became someone he longed for. There was no middle ground. It was like someone flipped a switch in his mind and his heart, as he could finally just be. No strings attached, no fear.

With you, he was simply Jeonghan, the person. Not the athlete, not the guy who appeared on television now and then. He was just another guy, with a normal job, a normal life. There are many normal ones, Jeonghan, yours may be different from mine and that's okay, you said it once.

Maybe that was the moment he realized he was in love with you. Maybe perceived isn't the right word, but it was the moment he allowed himself to feel.

"It's an inconceivable fact that you don’t have a picture of me on your phone"

You laughed at it and he wished he could be close to you. He wanted all your moments, no matter how small and bad they were, to be engraved in his mind.

"My phone has a password," you said. Your tone wasn't reproachful, you weren’t irritated. If anything, you were happy to be talking to him, that he was in your life.

"Your birthday isn't a very clever password," he said, laughing.

You wanted to ask how he knew, but the answer was pretty obvious: Seungkwan.

"Are you okay?" you asked, tone cautious. "No pain?"

You hated having to change the subject so abruptly, hated that you were the one changing the light tone of the conversation. But you had to know, you had to ask.

It was a second, nothing more than that, that turned on a warning light in your head. Jeonghan was sitting, waiting for his score announcement, when his face quickly contorted. It was there and then it wasn't. But you had seen that scene before, you knew exactly what it meant.

"Yes, I am," he said, still trying to keep his tone light.

"Jeonghan..."

He wondered when you were able to understand that he was lying. It didn't really matter. Jeonghan liked knowing that you knew him well enough to know the difference. It was the first time anyone cared enough to understand.

Jeonghan realized that by your side, he experienced many firsts.

"A little discomfort, but I told the doctor" he was quick to say, knowing exactly what was coming next "I have ice on my foot right now. I can compete tomorrow, it won't be a problem"

He wasn't lying. He felt the discomfort after his body cooled down and told the doctor. Maybe it was in the hopes of having a fair reason to give up. He had never talked about being in pain so quickly.

"I'm not confident" he admitted "It's like I was 12 again, in my first competition. I think I was more confident before, to be honest"

He lay down on the bed, staring at the hotel ceiling. It was a simple beige ceiling, hideous, but somehow, it gave him some peace of mind.

“You did really well in your first competition,” you said, hoping that would somehow help him.

Jeonghan just hummed in response but stayed quiet. He had too much on his mind, you knew. It was the shadow of a possible new injury, the idea of not being well enough to perform the movements easily, and the fact of not being confident. Everything had turned into a big snowball and he no longer knew what to do with all these problems that seemed unsolvable.

"Do you remember that day, when you were training and everyone was around? Even Jihoon showed up to watch, which was quite strange by the way" Jeonghan said yes, quietly, which was enough for you to continue " You weren't confident that day either and asked everyone to leave"

"Except you," he said.

"Yes, except me" you smiled, the memory still fresh in your mind, as if it had happened the day before, and not months before "We were there for another half an hour and you didn't make a single mistake after getting it right. I know it's harder now, that you can't kick all those people out of there, but you can imagine that it's just the two of us again. I told you before and I can tell you as many times as you need to hear, I'm rooting for you unconditionally"

Jeonghan sighed, his body finally relaxing completely.

"You could be more eloquent in your cheering," he said, his tone mocking.

"If I'm too eloquent, we won’t use Vernon’s videos," you said laughing.

Your laugh, Jeonghan decided, was the eighth wonder of the world. It was his choice and the only right one among all the possibilities.

"You could at least smile"

"That I can do"

You sat in the same place as the day before, the only difference was that Seungkwan was on the left and Vernon was on the right. But you were in exactly the same place as you promised Jeonghan you would. Not that you exactly had much of a choice, it was assigned seats, but at least you were lucky to have the same ones.

Also like the previous day, Jeonghan was the last to compete. You watched them all carefully, trying your best to spot mistakes, but you could only see the obvious ones. When, for example, the athlete who was in second, taking into account only the short program scores, fell. You knew you shouldn't, but you couldn't contain your squeak of joy. Both Seungkwan and Vernon laughed, but you knew they shared the feeling.

Everyone wanted Jeonghan to do well, of course.

Exactly like before, the world seemed to stop when Jeonghan entered. And this time he knew exactly where to look, where you were in the crowd. When he smiled and you smiled back, he felt like he had made the right decision at some point. Because, somehow, you were there and everything seemed like it would work out.

And even if everything went wrong, Jeonghan felt like he would be okay too.

You wanted to scream with the rest of the audience when Jeonghan took the podium in second place. You knew it wasn't what he wanted, but you also knew I wanted it more than he expected. But, as you had told him on the phone, if I were more eloquent, all the footage would be lost.

You excused yourself from Seungkwan and walked to the other side, where it was empty. When the silver medal was finally placed around your neck, you clapped and screamed like the other girls next to you. Jeonghan's free program was perfect, the deductions made by the judges, according to Seungkwan, made no sense at all - but you were sure it was the fan version of him speaking than anything else.

If it weren't for the lowest score from the previous day, Jeonghan would have been on the podium in first place. However, when he finished his presentation, he seemed to care little whether he had gotten a good score or the position he would get. He seemed satisfied with his performance. His smile as he bowed to the audience was genuine and joyful.

"Will you allow me to be honest?" Joshua said beside you.

You brought a hand to your heart, your body moving involuntarily away from him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"

You smiled and shook your head. There were a few times that your and Joshua's paths crossed. He was Jeonghan's childhood friend and would occasionally appear. You were so focused on Jeonghan and on his performance that you hadn't noticed that you hadn't seen Joshua on either day of the competition.

“Of course,” you said clearing your throat.

Joshua stuck his hands in his pants pockets, his eyes still focused on Jeonghan who was walking down the podium and returning to the locker room. He looked at the medal, a small smile on his face, almost completely covered by his long hair.

"I thought you would be a problem, but I'm glad I was wrong"

When Jeonghan was out of sight, you finally turned to Joshua. He seemed to apologize with his eyes.

“A problem,” you repeated, to make sure you weren’t hearing things.

He scratched his head and smiled.

"Yes, a problem. You have become a central point for Jeonghan in recent times, I thought you could be dangerous to reach the goal of the Olympics. But looking at him now, I think you were never a problem, but rather the solution"

It was impossible to contain your smile for the rest of the night. Everyone left together after the press conference, which for once was not a fiasco.

You and Jeonghan never told anyone else that you were together. You want to know for sure what it was. But when everyone arrived at the restaurant, the two of you, Seungkwan, Vernon, Joshua, and the coach, everyone just seemed to move in a way to let you and Jeonghan sit next to each other.

Every time he placed his hand on your leg, a new wave of heat spread throughout your body. You were sure that Jeoghan knew what he was knowing, that he knew the effect it had. When you looked at him, he was looking at you smiling. He looked like a naughty child, who knew he was up to no good and was just waiting for someone to show up and tell him off.

The coach seemed uncomfortable, and now and then he cleared his throat. He only knew the rumors about Jeonghan, he had never seen him with a woman before. Joshua acted as if it were just another day, something he was already used to. Seungkwan and Vernon exchanged looks and laughed, you were sure you would have to deal with them later. The teasing would be tireless and at this point, it would be impossible to stop rumors from spreading around the office.

The thought that others might know what was going on between you and Jeonghan didn't scare you, at least not the way you thought it would. You were afraid that people would think you were less professional because of this, and that you might lose credibility. But none of that seemed to matter.

For the first time in a long time, you were happy. You didn't care if they knew because, at the end of the day, it was nobody's business.

You had made a name for yourself and it had nothing to do with your personal life.

And Jeonghan... he made you feel things you had never felt before. Your other boyfriends, as much as you liked them, didn't compare. The feeling you had for them seemed insignificant in comparison.

You wanted, as absurd as it might seem, to take care of Jeonghan. Not that he needed it, you knew he could manage just fine on his own. You wanted to be someone he could share his problems with, someone he could count on. You wanted to be someone who could be a safe haven, someone he didn't need to hide from.

And you thought, to a certain extent, you had become that person.

And without realizing it, even if unintentionally, Jeonghan had become that person for you too. When you had nightmares you wanted to call him, to be comforted by his sweet voice. You liked it when he held your hand, just because he liked it. You liked that he sent texts at random moments that made you smile and that left everyone around you wondering what had happened.

You had never believed that I could fall in love, not like that. The mere thought of liking someone like that seemed impossible, at least to you. You still had memories of your mother crying, right after your father left. You had promised yourself that you would never let anyone approach you like that. But Jeonghan showed up and it was as if the thought had never crossed your mind.

After the initial shock of meeting Jeonghan, it was easy to understand why people fell in love with him.

Even at that moment, when he wasn't doing anything much, just talking to Joshua and Seungkwan, the infamous butterflies didn't seem to leave you.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked suddenly.

Everyone had already eaten and some were waiting for dessert. It felt wrong to get up.

"Are you tired?"

As if on cue, Jeonghan closed his eyes and yawned, making everyone laugh, even the coach. He grabbed your hand and pulled you lightly, his head slightly tilted towards the restaurant door.

"We're going now," he said as he took your hand and in his and guided you out of the restaurant.

The thing about Jeonghan is that you never wanted to let him go. Once he was around you never wanted him to leave. So when he offered to take you to your room and said yes when you invested him in, you almost giggled like a teenager. 

Is that how people felt when they liked someone? You knew the feeling of liking someone, yes, but it was different. A new feeling that was both exciting and scary. Your brain was partially inclined to run away and partly desperate to just stay. 

When liking someone you always think back to your mother and how she never really recovered after your father left. Of course, she smiled and had many happy moments over the years but there was this distinct glow in her eyes that simply vanished the second he left. 

You had always promised yourself that you would never give someone that much power over you and while you knew that you weren’t quite there yet with Jeonghan, you knew that there was a high chance of becoming something so great one day you’d have no control over. 

Without much thought, you took his hand on your and kissed his knuckles. 

"What 's that for?"

You shook your head, still keeping his hand close to your face, sighing when he cupped your cheeks.

"Nothing, I'm just really proud of you. You did so well today"

Jeonghan laughed, his eyes going top your eyes then to your lips then back to your eyes again. 

"I didn't win" he felt the need to remind you.

You turned your face to the side and planted a kiss on the palm of his hand.  

"It was your first time back, you did fantastically"

"Thank you for being there," he said, voice suddenly serious "It really meant a lot to me"

You stood on your tip toes and gave him a peck on the lips. 

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.” 

Jeonghan wasn’t ready to let you go, not when he finally had you in his arms again, without anyone around. He pulled you closer to his body, his left hand at the base of your neck. He kissed your cheek, first the left one, then the right one, the tip of our nose until he finally reached your lips. 

At first, the kiss was sweet, tentative, kind even. The tip of his tongue touched your bottom lip. Suddenly it was like all hell had broken loose. It was him and you but everywhere. He ran his hand down your neck, to your back until he reached the hem of your shirt. Goosebumps erupted when you felt his skin over yours. 

His touch was so small, so insignificant, but it had such a great effect on you. You were out of breath partially from the kiss and partially from his touch. It was too little but also too much.

You pulled back from him and the look in his eyes was almost enough to bring you to your knees. You had never really seen the whole “his eyes darkened” thing but in that moment there was no better way to describe him. Jeonghan had a look in his eyes that you had never seen before, different from anything you had witnessed.

It took your breath away.

“I’m gonna” you pointed at the bathroom and quickly left him all alone in the room. 

You needed a moment, hell not even you knew why you needed a moment. Your heart felt like it was about to combust with how quickly it was beating. You just needed to gather yourself, and maybe calm down a little bit before you went back into the room. 

You twisted the faucet over the bathtub. A shower would have been faster, yes, but a little too fast. You didn’t wait for it to completely fill up to get in. You pulled your clothes off swiftly, leaving them on the floor beside the tub, before getting in.

Your mind was racing. Maybe a good way to describe it would be to say that there was a puppy with too much energy running from side to side in your head. 

Five minutes went by before you heard the door opening and Jeonghan walked him. To his merit, his eyes stayed on your face the entire time until he sat down by your side. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked, shin resting on the edge of the tub. 

That was such a good question because you had no idea if there was something wrong. There isn’t, a voice said inside your mind. There was no reason for you to have run off like that. 

“I’m not used to this,” you said as you reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers in his. His hand was so warm against your cold one “For a second it was too much”

“Did I…?” 

You started to shake your head before he could get another word out. 

“No, no, no” you sat down on the tub and moved as close to him as possible, spilling some water out in the process but Jeonghan didn’t seem to mind “I like you, really like you”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“In my world? Yes”

In your world, Jeonghan had managed to gather, all emotions made you want to run away. It was easier for you to deal with the bad, the sad, the hateful. The good part of it was hard because you had no real starting point for it. 

“Let me show you my world, then”

He didn’t really wait for your answer and he leaned over the edge and captured your lips in his. His touch was tender as he crawled your face, leaving a trail of kisses from your lips, down your neck, till your collarbone. He smiled against your skin when he hit a sensitive spot that made you go a little breathless as a small moan left your lips. 

Jeonghan ran the tip of his index finger across the valley of your breasts before cupping one of them in his hand. His thumb running over your hard nipples. Your moan was swallowed by his lips. 

Your entire body became hot under his touch. Melting, falling apart and he had barely even touched you at all. It was too much but not at all enough. 

Jeonghan kept exploring your body with his hand, running it down your stomach. Ever so slowly he moved his hand further down. 

A gasp left your lips when his finger found your clit, drawing small, slow, circles. You leaned forward, your forehead pressed on the crook of his neck. His skin was warm, hot even. You turned your head to the side slightly until your lips came in contact with the skin of his neck. You pressed small kisses on him, sucking his skin at the same time he applied more pressure against you. 

Jeonghan pulled back for a second, his focus solely on you, on your hooded eyes, the way your cheeks had turned a pretty shade of pink, how your lips were slightly parted, the way his name came out of your lips in the sweetest moan when his finger slipped over your folds, teasing your hole. 

He was so completely enamored by you, in ways he never thought to be possible. In his past relationships, he had always been careful. He didn’t want to get caught but also didn’t want to fall too much. His life only had one direction, one goal. When he was by your side he just wanted to slow down a little and enjoy every single second he could with you. 

Jeonghan wanted you to feel the same, this new sense of freedom that only came with these feelings, this desire to know every corner of someone’s soul. 

Your grip on Jeonghan’s arms thighed, your eyes watering as you let your head fall back. He pushed two fingers into you, slowly until he was knuckles deep. He sucked in a breath when your walls squeezed around his fingers, pulling him deeper as he curled his fingers and then slightly opened them. He rubbed the heel of his hand over your clit as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out.

He was hard inside his pants, the zipper of his jeans making minimal pressure, not anywhere close to what he needed but he was happy with what he got, with the day he saw you let all of your walls down around him. 

Jeonghan leaned forward a little, taking your lips into his, his tongue exploring your mouth as he moved his fingers faster, his thumb rubbing on your clit just as fast. 

“Jeonghan…” you cried his name, again and again as your breathing got shallow. 

You held his face in your hands, your thumb over his bottom lips, your eyes never leaving his as you became undone in front of him. Your legs quivering, your body arching until your chest was pressed against him, your loud moans filling the bathroom alongside the sounds of his fingers moving in and out of you at a relentless pace. 

“Don’t stop, please, don’t stop” you asked

He had no intention of doing so, not until your body stopped shaking until you rode the last of your orgasm.

It was the most beautiful sight in the world. The seven wonders? Nothing compared to you.

Breathing heavily you leaned over Jeonghan, small spasms still making your body shake. You had boyfriends before, fucked all of them, some of them weren’t even your boyfriend and it had never felt like that, earth-shattering, live altering. You kissed him tenderly. 

God, you  were in love with the man.

You never thought of what it would be like to wake up in someone’s arms. It was never something you thought about too often when you had a boyfriend and it wasn’t something you craved. Being on your own, was something you were used to, whether it was on life or in your bed. Waking up to Jeonghan was something entirely new experience and one that you could never say that you didn’t like. 

His body was turned to yours, and his hand possessively held your thigh. Most of his face was covered by his hair and this time around you didn’t shy away from pushing it away from his face.

“This is not creepy at all,” Jeonghan said, his eyes still closed. 

You were startled for a second, your body involuntarily moving away from him and then settling back into him. This time your fingers weren't feather-like. You allowed yourself to fully touch him, to enjoy the feeling of his skin against yours.

“I can leave, if you want” 

You slightly rose from the bed, but it was far enough for Jeonghan. He tugged at your waist and pulled back on the bed and got on top of you.

“You’re not going anywhere”

Jeonghan pressed his lips over yours and you felt your body melt under him. Was there ever a better place in the world to be? You weren’t too sure if there was, but if such place even existed you didn’t want to know. 

“Tell me a secret,” he asked.

It was almost noon and you were still in bed with Jeonghan. He had asked for room service a couple of hours before and after eating both of you got back in bed, cuddling like two teenagers in love. 

“I used to have a crush on Jihoon,” you said with a laugh. 

There was a moment of silence, Jeonghan's body growing stiff by your side. That wasn't your intention at all, you wanted to bring a laugh out of him, and not make him uncomfortable. 

“I don't think that's something you say while in bed with a guy, naked” 

You laughed giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“You said to tell you a secret, that’s the only one I have left to give you,” you said pushing a strand of hair away from his forehead, smiling at him “When I met him, I didn’t know that he was going to be my boss, in fact I thought that he was regular employee like me. A couple of weeks later I found that that not only he was my boss but that he also had a long-term girlfriend, who is now engaged to”

Instead of focusing only on the crush part, which was one Jeonghan had no real desire to know about, he turned all of his attention to the first part of what you said, that you had no other secret to tell. 

Though he thought of it as impossible, as everyone has secrets, he knew that you were somehow telling him the truth.

“And now?” 

He propped his chin on your shoulder, his eyes shining as he waited for an answer. 

You found that running your hand through his hair and playing with it was a new hobby and one that both of you seemed to enjoy. Jeonghan had fallen asleep twice while your hand was on his head.

“Now he's just a boss who's made me take a project I didn't want” you ran your finger over his nose and booped the tip “But now I’m really glad I did. Maybe the best decision forced on me in years?”

You couldn’t help but laugh when Jeonghan placed several loud kisses all over your face.

“Your turn” 

You lightly pushed him away, just enough to see his face again. 

“I’m constantly terrified,” he said after a few minutes in silence “I keep seeing myself falling on the ice, like it happened last night. When I close my eyes, that’s the only thing I see”

It was something hard to admit, even to himself. Failing was like a shadow that daily dark cloud following him wherever he went. His mind and dreams were filled with images of him doing the exact opposite of what he was supposed to do, of what he was expected to do. 

Though he had been practicing hard, to exhaustion even, and did his best to put a great face, telling everyone just how confident he was, the truth was that Jeonghan wasn’t confident at all in himself. The chances of him making it were very low and though he did manage to get a good score and placed high on the podium, he wasn’t sure it would be enough to get him to the Olympics, much less to win it. 

“I’m not a sports person, right?” Jeonghan nodded enthusiastically and pushed him, making him laugh “But I think sometimes falling is inevitable. You know something I believe in? You”

Jeonghan couldn’t help but smile at the words. He felt as if the hand squeezing his heart had let go of him. He felt light.

“If there’s someone in this world that can go through all of this, injuries, surgeries, rehab and still get to compete on the same level as before. Maybe even better. I believe in you. I hope you can too”

Months Later

Jeonghan hissed as he slowly pulled the sock off. The usually cream skin was turning an ugly dark shade of purple, his ankle already twice as big as was supposed to be. He wanted to scream out in frustration. 

Of course, he had to get hurt again, of course, it had to be on the day before he was set to compete. 

It was like whoever was writing the script of his life enjoyed putting him through pain. Jeonghan finally felt as if his life was falling into place. He was feeling healthy, he felt as if every time he got on the ice he was getting better, improving his performance every single time. And then there was you, who came into his life seemingly like a storm and turned his world upside down in ways he wasn’t aware he needed. 

He had never felt more at ease, comfortable, than when he was with you. It had been a very long time since there was any need to shoot at his place but he always found himself calling you, or going to you. On days when you had to work late, you’d still come over and crawl into his bed, attaching yourself to him as if it was where you were supposed to be all along. You’d place a kiss on his spine and drift off to sleep without a word. Then, if there was no early schedule or practice, the two of you would just take turns cooking and talking about everything and nothing at all.

When he was with you, Jeonghan knew he had found the balance he had always looked for. It wasn’t the loud and reckless kind of relationship like the one he had before. With you Jeonghan felt at peace, home in many different ways. He liked to think that you felt the same way about him too.

Maybe he was being too greedy in wanting the creer, the legacy, as well as the love life but there was no way he was willing to let either one go, even if it meant that his blood would be covering the ice at the end of his performance. 

“How are you” the door to his shared room was suddenly flung open and Joshua walked in “feeling…?”

His friend's voice got lower as his eyes moved from Jeonghan’s face to his ankle, then back to his face again. Joshua moved without saying a word. He opened the mini bar and pulled whichever can was colder. 

“Does Bumzu know about this?”

It was weird to hear his coach’s name and he wasn’t too sure why. He said the name countless times since he was a teenager, he even said it earlier that day, but you had never said it. You’d always refer to him as just coach, even while directly talking to him. You never said his name and the man didn’t seem to mind it either. 

Jeonghan looked back at his foot and then at his ankle. He had no idea how it had gotten that bad. He felt a little pain after the eighteen-hour flight so as soon as he settled down in his room he put some ice on it, which had seemingly done the trick. It looked fine. No purple bruise, no swelling. His ankle looked fine and felt fine, so he left to attend the open ceremony and then headed to practice for the next two days. He felt nothing. He was fine. 

Until he, clearly, wasn’t.

“Does she know?”

Joshua pulled his leg up on the bed and put his feet up on two pillows. Jeonghan hissed again when he felt the ice against his skin and let his body fall back on the mattress.

“No, and she can’t know” he covered his eyes with his arm, sighing “I’ll tell Bumzu tomorrow”

“Don’t you think this should go into the documentary?” Joshua asked as he rolled the can from his ankle to the arch of his foot rhythmically “Don’t you think your girlfriend should know about this?”

Jeonghan played with the word on his tongue for a second. Girlfriend. Neither of you had ever labeled the relationship, too focused on the moment, on enjoying what you had and charging forward together. A label didn’t seem all too important. It was the kind of relationship that was always evolving but somehow staying the same. 

“If she finds out, she’ll ask me to stop” he paused finally looking at his friend “And if she does, I will”

He couldn’t help but think about your face. The way you smiled while holding his hands in yours sitting on his couch, just a few minutes before the two of you had to leave for the airport. Your eyes shone as you told him how much you believed in him, that you knew he wanted to win but it would be okay if he didn’t.

It was the kind of speech he heard many many times before in his life and he always hated it. It always seemed shallow, just empty words thrown in the wind. But when it came from you, when those words left your lips they felt genuine, he knew it wasn’t something you just said because it was what you thought he wanted to hear.

“I’ll scream the loudest this time,” you said laughing as you ran your fingertips over his eyebrows and then tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. Jeonghan couldn’t help you lean into your touch. “I’ll be sitting away from Seungkwan and Vernon, so there really won’t be any way for me to ruin the footage”

The words I love you slipped out of Jeonghan’s mouth with ease, as they have always been there, like he was used to saying them. It was never been easy for him, even to his mother and sister. He loved them, of course he did. He showed it to them in all ways he could think of, but he never said. At least not as an adult.

Home, he had decided. Your eyes were his home. You were. 

Jeonghan was certain that he would remember that moment forever. The way you leaned forward, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. The way you whispered I love you too. How you broke into a smile when you chastely kissed him and added so much it’s insane.

“Maybe she would be right” Joshua’s voice pulled him back to reality “Maybe you should stop. What if this gets bad enough that you can’t even walk anymore? What if…”

Jeonghan sat back up again. 

“Do you remember when we were kids and I told you that I wanted a gold medal, an Olympic gold medal?” he suddenly asked.

Joshua closed his eyes and sighed. Obviously, he remembered it but he wished Jeonghan didn’t. Most of all, he wished Jeonghan wouldn’t use a promise he made almost twenty years before. 

“Shua” Jeonghan pressed, his tone almost desperate. He felt bad, of course, but it was the only thing he had to stop Joshua. His last weapon to use. 

“I promised I would help in any way possible since we all knew I wasn’t that great of a skater”

It was a stupid promise, made by stupid boys but even as adults they both stuck to it, like it was some sort of pact.

“The best way to help is to keep it a secret for the next 3 days”

The thing about competitions is that they are exhausting but not just for the people actively competing but for those working on the sidelines as well. you had been following Jeonghan for months now, to all sorts of competitions, rehab, and just his life in general. 

In almost all of them he managed to make it to the podium and each time he looked brighter, and happier with his performance and the outcome. Though everything seemed to be going just fine, there was this itch in the back of your mind, telling you that there was something wrong with him. 

Jeonghan seemed to be taking good care of his body and he was periodically going to the doctor. You weren’t too sure if that was a good thing. On one hand, it was good because it meant that he was in constant care for a serious injury. But it could also mean that he was in pain and that itch on your brain was right. 

Whatever it was, Jeonghan wasn’t willing to share. He kept saying that he was fine and you were trying to believe him, you really were. But there was something in his eyes, in the way his body moved a little more stiff than usual. He had not looked at your direction once - which was something unusual.

The rational part of your brain said that it was just stress, crazy high amounts of it tugging at all of his nerves and muscles. It was his last chance so it was natural. He was an athlete focused on the competition ahead, of course, he would be a little different from what you were used to seeing. 

However, the irrational and insecure part of your brain told you that regretted saying that he loved you and didn’t know how to take it back. That didn’t make any sense at all. Jeonghan wasn’t the kind of person who just said things to please the people around him. He would rather keep quiet than say something he didn’t mean. You knew that. You knew him. If he said it, then he meant it. 

So why was he…

“Is he hurt again?” a familiar voice asked to your right. 

You had completely forgotten that Jihoon would attend as part of the documentary crew. He had mentioned it the last time you spoke on the phone a couple of weeks before, he also sent an e-mail the day before you left but it had completely escaped your mind.

You blinked at him, your brain not fully registering what he said. 

“What?” you asked.

Jihoon raised his eyebrows at you. He pointed at the rink where Jeonghan and the other skaters were warming up. His warm-up was different from what he usually did. He was just moving around, barely using his left foot. 

“He’s not using his foot a whole lot” Jihoon pointed out. 

He kept talking but his voice became just a distant sound as you pulled your phone out of your pocket, frantically searching for Joshua’s number. He was by the rink talking, in what you assume to be a hushed voice, with Bumzu. 

You bit your lips while the phone rang. Despair spread through your chest when Joshua pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed it to the coach. Both men visibly sighed. 

Tears started to well up in your eyes the moment Joshua’s tired voice greeted you.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Tell me what’s wrong with him, please” you begged.

Joshua pinched the bridge of his nose and turned around, making sure that you couldn’t see his expression. A terrible sign.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, everything is going according to plan”

“I may still be confused about some rules but my eyes work just fine, Joshua. Something is wrong, even Jihoon can see it”

You watched as he shook his head. 

“He’s just hiding his game. We prepare a new program, entirely different, he doesn’t want to show any of it or overwork himself during the warm-up”.

Alarms went off in your head and a whinny sound left your lips. You were well aware of the three pairs of eyes on you, judging the very uncharastically way, so unlike yourself, you were behaving but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 

“Listen�� Joshua’s tone was stern, irritated. Not once had he sounded like that “This is a competition, the biggest one could ever take part in, as well as his last one ever. Yes, things are different this time around. I need you to understand that and not add any pressure or stress on him. Can you do that?”

He didn’t really give you a chance to reply.

“He’s here as an elite athlete and you’re here as the documentarist in charge of capturing every second of it. I highly suggest you start acting accordingly”

The line went mute. The pressure on your head, on your heart, was so big you let your body fall on the seat again. Joshua had never been quite as harsh on you, or at all. He had always been soft spoken, and polite. You doubted that even under the obvious stress of the moment he would act like that. Something was definitely wrong but he wasn’t willing to share, which meant that Jeonghan’s condition was bad. It also meant that he didn’t want you to know what was wrong, the extension of the problem.

Seungkwan was suddenly by your side, his hand on your shoulder. You pushed the single tear that rolled down away and stood up again. 

“Is everything okay?”

You just nodded and took the camera he had in his hands, adjusting the settings as an excuse to stay quiet long enough to be able to regain your ability to speak once more. You pushed the camera into Jihoon’s hand with a little more force than necessary, not really caring that he was your boss. His only reaction was to furrow his eyebrows at you one more time. 

“Make yourself useful, will you” it didn’t matter if he was there to just watch or not “Do not lose coach out of sight”

You turned your body to Seungkwan and Vernon.

“Seungkwan, you're with Joshua. Vernon and I will focus on Jeonghan” you pointed at the seats you were supposed to take, indicating that Jeonghan would have two different angles on him, Vernon simply nodded “Jeonghan’s condition is less than ideal so we need all of their reactions. Don’t miss anything, every blink is important”

Seungkwan called your name, his fingers gripping the sleeve of your shirt around your wrist. The concern was evident in his eyes. He wanted to ask, but wasn't sure if he should and you weren’t sure you could speak without breaking into tears. Whether his concern was for you or Jeonghan, you didn’t know. Perhaps a mix of both. 

“It’s our job, we should act accordingly”

Jeonghan finally let his body fall on the bed. It had been a long day and he had never felt more exhausted before in his life. But more than that, he was in pain. 

His first program had drained him. 

Every time he moved his foot it was as if a needle was being forced into his bones. Truth be told, Jeonghan wasn't even sure how he was still standing, how he still managed to walk straight without curving his body in pain. Skating was still a wonder in itself. The idea that both his mother and sister were watching from home maybe was something that helped push him forward. Maybe knowing that you were somewhere in the crowd also helped. 

He didn't dare to look for you, didn't dare to look in your direction but he could swear that he had heard you cheer every time he landed, every time he executed a new movement. Having you there and hearing your voice, even if it was a daydream of his crazy mind, had been enough to push him to the end of the program. 

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and reread your text for the hundredth time. He just stared at his phone for the better part of the day, like the small device held all the answers in the world. All it did though, was call you and that was something that he didn't allow himself to do. It was what he wanted the most, to hear your assuring voice, but he shouldn't. He couldn't. He was satisfied just looking at the black screen when suddenly it lit up with a notification and your name attached to it. 

"I will always be rooting for you! No matter what happens you'll always be number one" a second later another text followed "I love you"

Your message was sweet and loving. Jeonghan knew what it meant though. You didn't say anything, but it was clear that you knew something was wrong. Joshua had assured him that he didn't say anything to you but you weren't dumb.

He felt bad for keeping it a secret from you, for pushing you away, but in his mind, it was his only option. It turned out for the best that his coach and the federation didn't allow you and your team to follow him. Watching from the bleachers was all you could do. 

Even if their decision somehow benefited him, Jeonghan hated it. He hated the idea of everything that was going wrong. He hated that he was in pain, and once again, hated that the one person he wanted to comfort him was the one he was pushing away. In a way, he felt as if he was drowning and there was no one to even see that there was something off with him. 

Jeonghan heard the door opening but he didn't turn around in bed to see who it was, certain that it was only Joshua or maybe Bumzu coming in to check on him. He just turned further into his pillow, wishing for the day to be over soon. He couldn’t even think about his performance, which hadn’t been bad, to be honest. 

“So you get injured again and you decide that I shouldn’t know. That’s not very nice, Jeonghan”

He felt his heart in his mouth and he jumped on the bed, suddenly sitting on the middle of the mattress, grimacing when he felt a sharp pain up his leg.

“I wonder who you wanted to keep it a secret from, the team in charge of the documentary or me”

There you were, leaning on the door with your arms crossed over your chest, frowning at him. He could cry while looking at you and perhaps the tears were inevitable because his eyes were already burning.

“How are you here?” he managed to ask.

You gave him a sheepish smile and showed him the badge on your neck. A picture of Joshua greeted him while you took a step close to him and Sar by his side on the bed.

“I stole Joshua's badge and wore it flipped around, no one really bothered to check if it was really me”

You took Jeonghan's right hand into yours, intertwining your fingers with his. It was almost a natural movement at this point and you weren’t surprised when he leaned forward and rested his forehead on your shoulder.

Throughout the entire day you had thought about what you would do, how you'd approach him. There was no right way to do it. You had two options: scream at him and tell him to just stop, that it wasn't worth it, or you could just be there for him, offer him your support in any way you could. And while the idea of screaming was great, you knew that it wasn't going to do any good. In fact, it would probably only worsen the situation that was already bad.

“I don't know what to do,” he said, slightly turning his head towards your neck and taking a deep breath, allowing himself to be completely lost in your scent.

“How bad is it?” 

If Jeonghan wasn't willing to share it with you, decided that keeping it a secret was his only option it was probably bad but as moved away from you and pulled his pants up you enough to show the purple bruise on his ankle you realized that it was far worse than you could have imagined.

“Oh my God” you covered your mouth to stop yourself from saying anything else. 

You thought back at his program, how he executed all of it flawlessly, how he was in second place — only 0.2 behind the first place — how he had a real chance at winning despite all odds.

“It looks worse than it feels, but it doesn't feel good either”

You pushed his hair back, away from his face. His eyes were filled with unwashed tears, so desperate. Seeing him like that was like having someone squeeze your heart with all of their strength, as if trying to turn it into ashes.

“I'm so close to it and I can see it, it's right there. If I just…” he balled his hands into fists as tears finally ran down his face “I just need to do well, do what I've been practicing and I know I'll get it. But this…”

He punched his thigh, eyes closed.

You took his face into your hands, delicately making him look at you. You had no idea that your heart could break just by looking at someone, had no idea that you would feel that way for someone else in your life. It was a crazy thought, a realization that there was someone else in the world that could make you feel like that. 

When you told Jeonghan that you loved him it wasn't a lie. You didn't just threw those words around. Your heart was his and it was shattering for him.

You knew what it meant to him, all of it. Jeonghan might have made it seem as if he was just there to win and call it a day but you knew that it ran deeper than that. It was his last everything when it came down to it. His last competition, yes, but it was also his last everything. The last time he could say figure skater Yoon Jeonghan, after that he would just be retired. He hated the media a little too much to try and be one of those sports celebrities. 

“If they tape you up, give you enough painkillers, do you think you could do it?” your words were shaky as you spoke “Do you think it's possible?”

Jeonghan couldn't really believe his ears, in what you were saying to him. He was certain that you would tell him to stop, that it was okay, that he didn't have to go all the way to the end. It was a good run, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone, he could almost hear your voice in his mind. 

But right there, in front of him, you stood doing the exact opposite of what he expected.

“I thought you'd tell me to stop”

You kissed his face, close to his eyes, where his tears had stained his cheeks. The first one was quick, the second lingering a little bit more.

“I probably should, but it's not what you need” you kissed his forehead, nose, and lips “You're a force to be reckoned with, Jeonghan. If there's someone in the world that can compete in these conditions it's you”

Your heart was oddly at peace with everything. Sneaking into Jeonghan's room had been reckless but necessary, for both of you.

It was scary to imagine him getting injured again. You knew how hard he worked to be able to even get on the ice at all. You knew what it meant to him, so telling him that it was okay to just try felt natural and in some ways the only right option. 

Leaving his room had been hard. All you wanted to do was stay there with him, comforting him, in silence. You just wanted to be by his side but you knew that wasn't possible so you left after kissing him.

Maybe telling him to push through was a bad call, maybe telling him to quit was what was best for him but you tried to put yourself in his shoes. Had it been you, with your last chance ever, would you stop or would just just say fuck it and go down trying?

The answer was easy: you'd do the exact same.

“So…” Seungkwan asked as the four of you walked into the gymnasium “Is he okay?”

Seungkwan was a good friend and someone who worried about Jeonghan. He had been the first one to warm up to him and talk with him. Jeonghan liked him too, calling him Seungkwannie and even inviting him for dinner on occasion. 

“Not really,” you said as you finally found your seats “But he's going to compete anyway”

“Can he even do that?” Jihoon asked, “Should he do that?”

Your shoulders rose as you sighed.

“He's doing what he thinks is the best option for him”

The conversation ended just like that. There was nothing left to say. All any of you could do was sit and wait.

Jeonghan skated into the rink. His face was serious, no emotion on display. It was a mask of a man who was focused on what he had to do. He eyes the center of the rink, unblinking. 

His costume of choice was very simple, just a plain black blouse with silver and blue details on the sleeves and around his neck. His hair was tied back and away from his face. 

Looking at him one wouldn’t be able to say that he was in pain, that his ankle was twice its normal size, so close to just giving up. No one could tell that he was shaking. It was imperceptible to those on the bleachers that his heart was beating so fast, so loudly, that he could feel it in his ears. 

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Once. Twice. Again. He thought of you, with your hands clasped together in a silent prayer, he thought of his mother and sister watching him from home. He thought about himself two and a half years before, how hard he had worked to get to that rink one last time. He thought back to his ten years old self, when he first dreamt of the Olympics.

Winning was his only option. 

Jeonghan opened his eyes as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. 

The entire gymnasium erupted in loud cheers while Jeonghan thanked the audience, one side, then another. He bows his head a few times, catching one of the bunny dolls thrown at the rink in mid air. His smile is beautiful and large. He became pure happiness and you know that it couldn’t be any different.

Jeonghan managed to deliver his performance in complete perfection, no obvious mistakes were made. You were certain the judges would find something to deduce points but there was no way that he wouldn’t place first.

He waved at the crowd and somehow the cheering got even louder. It’s not his home country but it felt as if everyone in there was applauding him more than all of the athletes before him. And maybe that was really the case.

Jeonghan’s injury had been disclosed to the public right before the beginning of the competition and people love the idea of someone who can overcome whatever it is that stops them, an injury, a disease.

Jeonghan whirled around one more time, hand in the air waving, when face his contorted, his beautiful smile gone and he fell to his knees.

One second.

Two seconds.

Five seconds.

He didn’t move an inch, he didn’t get put but he also didn’t do much else. It was when you started to worry that there was something wrong. Even from that far back, you saw his arms shake, his eyes shut close, and his hand balled into fists. It became painfully obvious that there was something wrong.

The cheering and applause didn’t stop or got quieter. If anything, the volume only got louder. The crowd seemed to think that he was still thanking them, that he was overwhelmed with emotions, that he was exhausted after such a perfect performance.

He did the unthinkable, he managed to finish his performance flawlessly, lading jump, after jump, after jump. And he did, on the last performance of his career, at his last Olympics.

Jeonghan hadn’t announced it yet, but that was his last everything. After that day, he would leave behind his days in figure skating and would try to search for something else to do with his life. It was the last of him, ever, and he ended it on such a high note.

After more than a year of following him, talking to him, and understanding who Jeonghan was and what his stage persona was, you knew that it was not the emotions he was feeling. Although the man could be very humble at times, he wasn’t to that extent. He wouldn’t be on his knees for a full minute.

That’s when you saw coach run to the ice, two paramedics right behind him.

You rush down the bleachers, trying to see what’s happening on the ice while trying not to fall face first. The coach talked with Jeonghan, and whatever the older man said got a reply and Jeonghan shook his head. You didn’t know what he’s saying.

I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong. I’m not in pain. I’m just tired.

Those are the words you wished he said, on just a collection of them

Vernon took the camera and did a run down of the crowd before turning it to Jeonghan, still on his knees. You didn’t know what to do. The two of them were right behind you, Vernon and Seungkwan, their footsteps way too loud for you to notice that the crowd had finally stopped cheering, finally noticing that the situation wasn’t as good as they first expected it to be.

Your eyes never really left Jeonghan. The only thought going through your mind at that moment was to get to him as fast as possible, to hold his hand. That simple action wouldn’t mean much, you knew that, and you would do it more for yourself than for him. But you liked to think that in such a moment, he would want you by his side.

The paramedics raised Jeonghan, his arms around their shoulders while they carried him out of the ring. One of his feet slides with ease, while he holds the other one up in a weird position, slightly tilted back.

That’s when you knew. The issue on his ankle. He took it too far with the performance and practices, landing on it time and time again.

You stopped in your tracks and turned around. You pressed your hand on the lens of Vernon’s camera pushing it until he finally lowered it.

“Stop filming, right now” it wasn’t a request, your voice wasn’t kind. It was an order, one you needed him to follow “From now on, nothing gets filmed”

Vernon looked confused, his eyes darting to Seungkwan, as if asking for help in a way.

“But it’s our job,” he said.

You shook your head.

“Our job, what we needed to film, ended the second he landed that jump. Now it’s not the time to record him”

Seungkwan understands what you’re saying, he too pressed a hand on Vernon’s camera, pushing it even further down, shaking his head and his friends looked at him worried.

You turned away from them, eyes immediately falling on Jeonghan.

For a moment you thought that they wouldn't let you through. Security had no idea of who you were. So why would they let a strange woman be anywhere near the athlete? But they did let you through. You didn’t know how, you didn't know why, but you also didn’t dare to question.

They just moved out of the way, making a path for you. You followed the coach back to the locker rooms, ignoring the fact that you shouldn’t be there, not in the male one anyway.

You finally reached Jeonghan. His face was pale, paler than usual, his lips were turning purple.

“Jeonghan” his name leaves your lips in a breath.

He reached a hand for you once the paramedics laid him down on a stretcher.

“Baby,” he said, voice barely above a whisper “I did it. Did you see it?”

You pushed his hair away from his forehead, surprised with his cold sweat.

“You did it, you were fantastic”

He smiled at you, his eyes not really focusing on you or on anything else.

“I think I broke something,” he said, voice low “I don’t know, it just hurts. A lot”

You looked at his coach, the man didn’t know either, but his eyes were focused on Jeonghan's ankle. Your eyes move to the paramedic, who as carefully as possible trying to remove his skates.

The doctor that accompanied Jeonghan since the surgery finally approached him. The man too looked as white as a candle.

Jeonghan had finally taken it too far. 

“You cut your hair, '' you said, as you tucked your legs under your thighs, sitting comfortably on the fluff carpet in Jeonghan’s living room. 

Seungkwan stood behind you and by his side was Vernon. It was the place where it all started, so it seemed fitting that it also ended there. 

Jeonghan nodded, running his hand through the loose strands. You drummed your fingers over your thighs, thinking about how just a couple of hours before you were playing with his hair while he had his head on your belly because your stomach is being noisy and I want to sleep when you told him he could move, he just hugged your waist tighter rubbing his face on your skin nope.

“I thought it would be a good change” he pouted a little, unconsciously “I still need to get used to it.”

Why did you think it would be a good change?”

He narrowed his eyes for a second. He had that conversation with you before. For a moment he forgot that the version of you he talked with was his girlfriend, not the documentarist sitting in front of him. 

“I started to grow my hair after the whole incident with the press” he made a dismissive gesture with his hand “I think I sort of wanted to hide from them and the hair helped a lot. In a way, I think a new haircut symbolizes a new start? You know, now that I’m no longer an athlete”

You nodded, smiling at him. It always took his breath away, your smile. He loved the way you had been constantly smiling around him, the frown that seemed to have a permanent stay between your eyebrows when you first met was nowhere in sight.

“How does it feel, being retired?”

“If you asked me that four years ago, I’d say that it sounded like my words nightmare. But now after so many injuries and surgeries, it felt like the timing was right. If you think about it, the way it ended for me was pretty epic”

Jeonghan matched your smile as the memories started to flood his mind. The way he almost blacked out due to the pain in his ankle, the way the crowd screamed so loudly and he refused to believe that it was because of him, at least not until Bumzu came back to his side, his eyes red with unshed tears.

“You fucking idiot of a human, you did it”

You had kissed his temple multiple times, telling him how brave he was, how strong he was. "Most people would have walked away before even getting on the rink” you had said later that night after all of you had finally gotten back from the hospital. Jeonghan was prohibited from using his foot and needed to have surgery once again after the worst part of the swelling subsided. 

He remembers refusing to be taken away to get his ankle checked until he saw with his own eyes that he had won. He was carried out by Bumzu and Joshua despite the doctor’s cries that he should be taken to the hospital. You followed the three of them close behind. 

Jeonghan smiled at the screen hanging from the roof. His name stood at the top of the list, in big letters, the number one attached to it. 

As he stood on the podium, gold medal around his neck, Jeonghan saw you clamming and screaming, a huge smile on your face as tears ran down your cheeks. He had finally gotten his wish, to see you being as eloquent as possible, cheering for him. 

“Most people would agree with you”

“I feel bad about making my family worry though. But they understand, I think”

His sister has screamed at him over the phone, angry that he asked them not to go watch him — mostly because he was scared to have them there while he failed — that he never told them about his injuries. But also happy for him. Truthfully he didn’t understand some of what she said, talking while crying was not her forte. 

You looked back at Seungkwan over your shoulder and both of you nodded. Jeonghan watched as you closed the small notebook in your hands and put it aside. 

“This is the last question of this documentary, so make your answer a good one, okay?” you said teasingly “Now that you can’t skate again, what are your plans for the future?”

Saying that Jeonghan wouldn’t be able to skate again was maybe a little exaggeration. Sure, there was no way he’d ever be able to compete again — nor did he wanted to —, but maybe after he was all healed he could do it again just for fun. That wasn’t something he was going to say directly at you. You had gotten worried after his new injury that even conversations about past competitions made you shiver, it had gotten so bad that you had nightmares about him getting hurt again and in those his end was never quite as good or epic as the one he actually got. So Jeonghan thought that it was for the best to not talk about it, at least for the time being while he still hadn’t been cleared by his doctor.

“With my career?” he bit his lip, truly thinking about it “For now, nothing. I’ve been competing for almost twenty years, in the rink for about 22 years, I think I deserve to stop and just not do anything for a while. In my personal life, I want to spend some time with my family, which is something that I always skipped because practice was just more important. I haven’t spent a birthday with them in years”

He tilted his head to the side, his eyes on you. 

“I have a girlfriend, right. And she had this little notebook, I think she might be a little obsessed with notebooks and pens, and everything stationary related” he whispered the last part making you roll your eyes “She writes in those places she wants to go to. So, if I can convince her to take a few vacation days, I want to take her to those places”

“You suck,” you said.

“You didn’t seem to…”

Seungkwan took a step forward and blocked the view of the camera, his eyes wide.

“Okay, that’s a wrap everyone! Thank you!”

taglist: @wonwooz1, @sobun1est, @mirtaspace, @feat-sun, @belladaises, @immabecreepin, @aaniag, @k-drama-adict, @maiamorrrrrrrrrrrr, @tomodachiii, @sofix-hc7, @moonlightgrleric, @mixling-blog, @haowonbins, @valgracia, @slut4donghyuck, @shuabby1994, @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan, @plumings, @shuasdrafts, @aaasia111, @dreamsbloomout, @maewhore, @sea-moon-star, @roguesthetic, @writingbarnes, @strawberryroseee, @lovely-ficsfor-me, @jjeongddol, @whoa-jo

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[loverbond]

What we know about the documentary so far

Note: I do not have evidence for everything I've mentioned, I've tried my best to find proof but some things I haven't been able to find. Everything I have mentioned is public information (or atleast was) and you should be able to find it, I will say otherwise if not.

1. Recording team begun early in the creation of The Car, back in 2021, this same team has been accompanying them during the entire tour filming

2. On the 10th of October Bang Bang Films, which directed Arctic Monkeys Live at Apollo, was marked as active under each of the Arctic Monkeys names. This company has only ever been listed as active under their names when working on something for the band.

3. Zackery Michael, who is working on the documentary was interviewing people about the band in queue for concert, and asking people if they would like to be part of the documentary

4. (Nonpublic) The documentary "is looking like it will be much more than just a YouTube upload", likely will have full released (such as last time with live at Apollo, won't be like Royal Albert hall where it was just some YouTube clips)

5. A joke poster was put up of Alex Turner, the person who posted it on Instagram then got contacted by people in the documentary questioning them about it.

6. Person was contacted via instagram from someone working on the documentary asking them some stuff about it (I do not have any further information on this, it's somewhere out there but I haven't been able to find who the person contacted was or what they were contacted about, it was placed on whoever was contacted's Instagram story for a short period of time)

7. Earlier this year Bang Bang Films was updated on each of the band members UK gov pages, a new listing of it showed as "bang bang films merchandising LP" signifying that merchandise for the documentary / whatever this film is is currently underway. The company being updated earlier this year after the tour was completed is confirmation that it originally being active was not just for the release of The Car.

-

There's no indication that the documentary will be released soon, in fact one of the inside sources states it probably won't be.

The only things that I'd say are some what confirmation that it will be released at ALL is the merchandise update for the company and Zackery interviewing people, it's pretty weird to release a documentary 2 years after the creation of The Car... But who knows, trying not to get my hopes up.

[teddyqd]

TMP/Magnus Kickstarter Update

Hi all! We just got a huuuuge Kickstarter update, and I thought I'd share the TL;DR that we (the mods of Statement Remains) put together to give people a hand navigating it!

TMP News - The digital premiere will be available on October 22nd for backers at the Archival Assistant level and above, and for Knight & Noble Patreons. - It will include a preview of The Magnus Protocol pilot episode and some exclusive bonus content. - The audio of the preview episode, without the extra content, will be released to KS backers at the Researchers level and above on 31st October.

- There will be a post-premiere livestream on Twitch with cast and crew, sometime after the 31st

- All the pre-launch previews will be exclusive to backers and patrons, but the official debut (in January 2024) will have new content not seen in the previews (including the full orchestral debut)

- The double length pilot episode releases Jan 2024, with a weekly release schedule following (and a 2 week break every 10 episodes)

- They are currently finalising script drafts for season 1, writing for seasons 2 and 3, doing primary recordings for episodes, and editing the Pilot episode

Casting Announcements - Meet Alice Dyer, played by Seer Pink (they/them). You may know Seer from streaming/tiktok -- this is their RQ debut! - Meet Samama Kahlid, played by Shahan Hamza (he/him). Shahan has previously played Siva in Trice Forgotten!

Other Castings - Anusia Battersby (she/her) as Gwendolyn Bouchard - Lowri Ann Davies (she/her) as Celia Ripley - Ryan Hopevere-Anderson (he/him) as Colin Becher - Kazeem Tosin Amore (he/him) as Teddy Vaughn - Sarah Lambie (she/her) as Lena Kelley - Ellie Dickens (she/her) as Lady Mowbray - Tim Fearon (he/him) as [ERROR] - Alexander J Newall (he/him) as [ERROR] - Jonathan Sims (he/him) as [ERROR]

There are "multiple returning friends and enemies from The Magnus Archives", but revealing them now would be a spoiler!

Making-Of Documentary - The documentary is well underway! - It will feature candids from meetings, interviews, and video diaries from Jonny and Alex! - The full version will air after the series is concluded, but a teaser segment will be released alongside the premiere!

ARG Updates - Official start date: **15 September**

- Far larger scale than the mini-ARG, featuring both digital and in-person elements - Will feature lots of worldbuilding and exclusive story that will provide an even deeper insight into the world of TMP

- Bookmark https://themagnusprotocolarg.com! This will be the main ARG hub! - Questions about the ARG can go to arg@rustyquill.com. They will not provide hints/help solve the puzzles.

- Important note from the ARG site: Participants of this ARG must be over 18 for legal reasons.

Mic Updates - The Podcast Pro mics are nearly ready to start shipping. They are finalising packaging and etching the finished microphones!

---

And a quick note from me on behalf of the SR server! We're currently looking for mods to bolster our team, so that we can feasibly host the ARG solving efforts! If you're interested, you can join the Discord here: https://discord.gg/h6bkdqc5yd

[kendrixtermina]

Palestine Information Masterpost

Collecting the most salient stuff in one place so I can find it & link to it when needed.

Hopefully this will empower anyone reading this to understand exactly what is happening and why.

Compilation of Prominent Israeli Politicians saying "Kill Them All": (1)

Debunking Atrocity Propaganda around October 7th: (1) (2) (3)

How Israel uses propaganda to keep western support

An excellent source detailing, among other things, how Israel has responded with lethal force to peaceful protest, and how Hamas isn't half as extreme as it's painted to be.

How the IDF's culture of deception originated in hiding the Nakba from its citizens: (1) - I think this is central to understand WHY they would do this.

A former Soldier describing Apartheid in the Westbank: (1)

If you have time, I also recommend that one 4 part documentary on the Nakba & the events leading up to it starting from the 1920s (Yes, you heard that right!) but here's a shorter rundown.

EDIT:

Some additions:

Here's something to help you appreciate the extreme unprecendented rate of casualties far beyond what is "normal" even in a war: (1)(2) - it exceeds all modern conflicts except the siege of Leningrad. According to one source I have seen, the overall rate of dead kids per day actually exceeds Auschwitz.

This is what politicians are thinking about it behind the scenes: (1)

Here is a brilliant series of tiktoks by a marketing expert explaining the how & why behind the messaging about the current situation very quickly: (1) (2) (3)(4) (5)(6)

This is the propaganda playbook mentioned in the movie - judge for yourself.

International Agencies say the tunnels under hospital thing is bullshit. And this isn't even the first claim that ended up being debunked! Why would a Norwegian Doctor lie for Hamas?

66% of Americans and even 62% of Israelis (!) want a ceasefire, there are record protests all over the world - we have a democracy problem, a free speech problem and a lobby problem.

The official Israel Twitter account has, so far, demonstrably: pushed 4 chan "crisis actor" conspiracy theories used, put fake subtitles on arabic videos and passed off random squiggly lines on a post-it as arabic, and passed off a calendar as a list of terrorist names

EDIT: Israeli official ADMITING the Hospital claim was fake

EDIT2: Israel's track record of breaking ceasefires

EDIT 3: Indoctrination in Israeli Schools

EDIT 4: Israeli Military ADMITTING to mass execution

[notes-from-sarah]

Magneto: A Biographical Timeline, 1963-1991

Magneto just might be one of the most iconic comic book antagonists of all time. He was created in 1963 by Stan Lee and started out as the X-Men’s deadliest foe. Not much is revealed about Magneto through the 60’s but when author Chris Claremont takes over writing the X-Men starting in 1975 he began to develop the character and give him a complex backstory. Magneto quickly started his journey to being a hero and by the 80’s he was no longer a foe of the X-Men, but an ally, and eventually the leader of the Xavier Institute. After corporate meddling forced Magneto back into an antagonistic role in the 90’s, Magneto was eventually killed off and Claremont was fired. This was the end of a cohesive story and trajectory for the character.

Magneto’s backstory has become murky in the years since. The wiki pages (both fan wikis and wikipedia) often take the angle of attempting to synthesize everything ever said about the character into one cohesive story. That, of course, isn’t very helpful when there’s been sixty years of contradictory information and continual reboots – both hard and soft – of the character, his relationships and his backstory. Even his name has come to be muddled with every few years someone deciding to give him a new one. Below, I’ve compiled a list of all the relevant biographical details as they appeared in print from 1963 – 1991. This is a comprehensive overview of the character during his most iconic storylines, many of which have gone on to be adapted to both television and film.

I have included links to relevant historical information at various points as well as to an excellent 2018 documentary, available on YouTube so be sure to check that out as well.

1963

September

X-Men #1 published

1964

March

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #4 “The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants” by Stan Lee

Wanda and Pietro are introduced with the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. They are introduced as brother and sister, no last names are given.

Wanda owes Magneto a life debt because he prevented villagers in the heart of Europe from burning Wanda as a witch. Wanda and Pietro aren’t happy about being in the Brotherhood.

Magneto is described as tall.

1965

May

Avengers (1963) #16 “The Old Order Changeth!” by Stan Lee

Wanda and Pietro join the Avengers.

Wanda mentions that Pietro is older than her.

Wanda is described as “black-haired” (though in many later appearances she is most often drawn with brown or red hair)

1968

November

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #50 “Hail, Queen of Mutants” by Arnold Drake

Mesmero claims that Polaris (Lorna Dane) is Magneto’s daughter and attempts to brainwash her to join Magneto.

1969

January

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #52 “Twilight of the Mutants” by Arnold Drake

Iceman (Bobby Drake) reveals to Polaris that Magneto is not her father and is “conning” her.

July

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #58 “Mission Murder” by Roy Thomas

The Magneto who appeared in issues #49-52 is revealed to have been a robot all along and Magneto is unconnected to the plot of the robot Magneto.

December 1970 – June 1975

No new books are written for X-Men and the title exists solely as reprints of earlier issues. In effect, the book is dead.

1974

October

Defenders (1972) #16 “Alpha, the Ultimate Mutant” by Len Wein

Magneto is turned into a baby by the mutant Alpha.

1975

August

Chris Claremont begins writing for the Uncanny X-Men starting with issue #94.

1977

April

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #104 “The Gentleman’s Name is Magneto” by Chris Claremont

Magneto is returned to adulthood by Eric the Red.

November

The Champions (1975) #16 “A World Lost!” by Bill Mantlo

Magneto works with Beast (Hank McCoy) to free the former X-Men team from Doctor Doom’s mind control. (I believe this marks the beginning of Magneto’s turn to being a hero)

1978

May

Marvel Team-Up (1972) #69 Featuring Spider-Man and Havok “Night of the Living God” by Chris Claremont

Polaris reiterates that she is not Magneto’s daughter.

August

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #112 “Magneto Triumphant” by Chris Claremont

Magneto reiterates that he never worked with Mesmero and the being who claimed to be Polaris’ father was a robot.

September

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #113 “Showdown!” by Chris Claremont and John Byrne

Magneto’s Antarctic base is destroyed and with it the “work and memories of a lifetime.”

Magneto is sad to have the X-Men destroy everything but steels himself with the thought “I am alive.”

1979

August

Avengers (1963) #186 “Nights of Wundagore!” by Steven Grant, Mark Gruenwald and David Michelinie

Wanda and Pietro return to Transia looking for information about their past.

Transia is a German-speaking nation.

Their mother is revealed to be Magda, no last name is given for her.

Magda left her husband because she feared his powers and desire to rule the world. (This story will change somewhat as the idea is developed)

Magda ran away from Transia after giving birth.

The narrative implies she went into the wilderness to die.

Wanda and Pietro were then given to Django Maximoff and his wife to raise.

September

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #125 “There’s Something Awful on Muir Island” by Chris Claremont

Magneto runs across an image of Magda on a memory tape and reminisces about his late wife thinking “Magda… my late wife. I’d almost forgotten how beautiful you were… How deeply it hurt when you ran away from me.”

This reveals him to the reader as the father of Wanda and Pietro.

1980

October

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #138 “Elegy” by Chris Claremont and John Byrne

Polaris is once again mentioned as not being the daughter of Magneto.

1981

January

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #141 “Days of Future Past” by Chris Claremont and John Byrne

In a far distant possible future Magneto is revealed to be working with the X-Men after mutants face genocide and persecution.

Magneto’s name is revealed to be Magnus for the first time, no last name is given.

August

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #148 “Cry, Mutant!” by Chris Claremont

Magneto meets Cyclops’ (Scott Summers) girlfriend, Aleytys “Lee” Forrester, for the first time on his island base in the Bermuda Triangle.

September

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #149 “And the Dead Shall Bury the Living” by Chris Claremont

Charles Xavier reveals that Magneto is “Caucasian, probably Nordic.”

Charles reflects that Magneto was “the first ‘evil’ mutant the X-Men fought.” (The use of quotes around the word evil is intentional to suggest that Magneto is not really evil)

Charles thinks that “Magneto and I are uncomfortably alike.”

October

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #150 “I, Magneto” by Chris Claremont

Magneto learns of Jean Grey’s death and says that he grieves for her. He states “I know… something of grief. Search throughout my homeland, you will find none who bear my name. Mine was a large family, and it was slaughtered.”

Magneto speaks to the crew of the Soviet submarine Leningrad in Russian.

Magneto keeps his computer programming book written in a language neither Kitty nor Storm (Ororo Munroe) can read.

Later, after a fateful confrontation with the X-Men, Magneto thinks he’s killed Kitty Pryde. He is gripped with remorse saying “What have I done?!” and “Why did you not understand? Magda – my beloved wife – did not understand. When she saw me use my powers, she ran from me in terror. It did not matter that I was defending her… that I was avenging our murdered daughter. I swore then that I would not rest ‘til I had created a world where my kind – mutants – could live free and safe and unafraid. Where such as you, little one could be happy. Instead I have slain you. I remember my own childhood – the gas chambers as Auschwitz, the guards joking as they herded my family to their death. As our lives were nothing to them, so human lives became nothing to me.” (This is the first time Anya is mentioned even if she is not yet named, as well as the first time that Magneto is mentioned to be a Holocaust and Auschwitz survivor.)

Storm tells Magneto to pray to his deity as she intends to kill him for hurting Kitty. Magneto replies “As a boy, I believed. As a boy, I turned my back on God forever.”

When Storm suggests that his good dreams have been corrupted, Magneto insists that he is too old to change and has lived with his hatred too long.

Afterward, Charles offers that Magneto “Will emerge from this crucible the good man he once was and may yet be again.”

1982

September

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #161 “Gold Rush” by Chris Claremont

The narrative tells us the following took place twenty years ago placing these events around 1962.

Charles recalls meeting Magneto long ago in Israel when he went there to help treat Holocaust survivors.

Magneto is a volunteer at the hospital where Charles is working.

Magneto is introduced as Magnus, no last name is given.

Magneto reveals that he grew up in Auschwitz and states that “I have no family, Dr. Xavier. Anymore.”

The Auschwitz prisoner number tattooed on Magneto’s arm is revealed to be 214782.

The doctor Charles is working with says most of the volunteers were concentration camp survivors who “bring a degree of empathy to their work that the rest of us can’t match.”

Charles and Magneto grow close during their time together despite different views on the future of humans and mutants.

They also become close with Charles’ patient, Gaby Haller who is suffering severe psychic trauma from her experiences during the Holocaust.

Charles eventually comes to realize that “in many ways, Magnus has been as deeply scarred by his experiences as Gaby.”

Charles and Gaby start dating.

Eventually Charles and Magneto reveal to each other that they are mutants.

Charles and Magneto go to Kenya to rescue Gaby, who has been kidnapped by Hydra.

Magneto tells the Hydra leader, Baron Strucker, “You will find me considerably harder to slay than your countrymen did my family at Auschwitz.” and “Unfortunately, my power did not manifest itself ‘til I reached adulthood. By then the war was over. But had I possessed it in the camps, butcher, the tyranny of your Third Reich would have been ended overnight!”

They rescue Gaby and part ways still ultimately disagreeing about means and ends because of the violent methods Magneto used against Hydra.

Magneto flies off with an enormous stash of Nazi gold plundered from Hydra.

Until he disguises himself as Hydra, Magneto only wears white throughout the issue.

December

Marvel Graphic Novel #5 “X-Men: God Loves, Man Kills” by Chris Claremont

(This story is a stand-alone story, it doesn’t really get mentioned in the regular Uncanny X-Men timeline or referenced anywhere else, unlike the Dazzler graphic novel published in the same line. That does not necessarily mean it is out of continuity, just that it doesn’t ever get called back to during Claremont’s further writing.)

Magneto joins forces with the X-Men to save Charles from Reverend Stryker and prevent his anti-mutant genocide. He tells Cyclops “I am not your enemy, X-Men, nor do I consider you mine.”

Cyclops presses Magneto about his plan to become world dictator and Magneto replies “I have lived under a dictatorship… and seen my family butchered by its servants. When I rule, it will be for the betterment of all.” Cyclops asks who takes over after Magneto dies, Magneto responds “You, of course, Cyclops. And the X-Men. Why do you think I want you by my side?”

Charles refers to Magneto as Magnus.

Magneto asks Charles to join him and his cause after they defeat Stryker, and though tempted, Charles ultimately refuses holding on to his dream of human/mutant integration.

Magneto parts ways with the X-Men despite them asking him to stay.

1983

February

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4 “Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself…!” by Bill Mantlo

Magneto discovers what happened to Magda after she left him and finds out that he is Wanda and Pietro’s father.

Magda’s fate is more vague in this telling, saying only that she “fled into the night” without the implication that Magda wanted to die.

Magneto reveals this information to Wanda and Pietro. He meets Pietro’s daughter, his granddaughter, Luna.

Magneto asks Pietro and Wanda to accept him into their lives.

1984

May

Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars (1984) #1 “The War Begins” by Jim Shooter

(Though the Secret Wars story line continues to be published after this date, the event ends and the regular in-universe timeline resumes with Uncanny X-Men #181 published in May 1984.)

When the Beyonder transports heroes and villains to a far away planet to fight each other, Magneto is placed among the heroes.

The other non-mutant heroes are leery of Magneto so Magneto decides to leave and solve their predicament by himself.

July

Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars (1984) #3 “Tempest Without, Crisis Within!” by Jim Shooter

Magneto captures Wasp (Janet Van Dyne) and brings her to his headquarters in hopes of convincing her to join forces with him

Wasp, addresses Magneto as Magnus.

Magneto and Wasp have sex.

August

Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars (1984) #4 “Situation: Hopeless” by Jim Shooter

The X-Men leave the other heroes and join Magneto to try and end the situation they were brought into.

November

The New Mutants (1983) #21 “Slumber Party!” by Chris Claremont

When Warlock falls from space he crashes into Asteroid M. Magneto attempts to create a force field to protect Asteroid M but is unable to do so. Asteroid M is destroyed and Magneto is apparently knocked to Earth from space.

December

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #188 “Legacy of the Lost” by Chris Claremont

Lee Forrester finds Magneto injured and floating in the water near the center of the Bermuda Triangle. She fights off a shark and brings him aboard her boat.

1985

January

New Mutants (1983) #23 “Shadowman” by Chris Claremont

Magneto insists on leaving the hospital and going back to his island base in the Bermuda Triangle.

Lee and Magneto journey there alone on Lee’s boat.

Magneto is seasick the entire way there.

On the island Lee challenges Magneto on his anti-human stances.

February

New Mutants (1983) #24 “Hollow Heart” by Chris Claremont

Magneto apologizes to Lee for being rude to her and compliments her appearance.

Lee begins to see Magneto in a new light.

Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars (1984) #10 “Death to the Beyonder!” by Jim Shooter

Magneto is tempted to join forces with Doctor Doom, who the narrative implies is using some sort of power to sway Magneto to his side. Magneto “Reaches out to grasp Doom’s spectral hand – but then, he hesitates. His eyes find Xavier’s, and for an endless split-second, he trembles on the brink…”

April

New Mutants (1983) #26 “Legion” by Chris Claremont

Lee is awakened by Magneto having a bad dream, he is making noise and screaming.

Magneto is using his powers in his sleep and speaking in a language Lee doesn’t know.

She wakes Magneto before he causes himself harm and he is grateful to her for saving his life.

Magneto tells Lee that he was dreaming of “a time and place I thought forever… buried.” Lee says she’s never heard such desolation in his voice. Magneto replies “Death. Resurrection. I’d have died tonight, I think, if not for you. Twice now, I owe you my life.”

Magneto and Lee have sex.

Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars (1984) #12 “...Nothing to Fear...” by Jim Shooter

It is reveled that the Beyonder placed Magneto in the hero team because “His desires seemed like theirs.”

June

New Mutants (1983) #28 “Soulwar” by Chris Claremont

Lee has second thoughts about Magneto the morning after.

Magneto brings her breakfast the next morning, complete with a rose.

Magneto uses his powers to prevent Lee from leaving their conversation and this frightens her.

Magneto pleads with her to give him a chance. He tells Lee how Magda left him after learning he was a mutant. “My wife, Magda, had such a look on her face – I had saved us both from a marauding patrol of secret police, yet all she saw was that I had used super-powers to do it. In that moment, I became different – our love meant nothing. I was no longer human. I was a mutant, a thing. She ran from me, in terror. I never saw her again. Never knew – until much later, far too late – that she had borne my children. Don’t – please Lee, don’t you run from me, too. I cannot bear to be alone and I am sick at heart at the realization of what I have become. Help me, Lee, I… beg you. I need you.” (In this telling there is no mention of Anya, only a reference to the twins – Wanda and Pietro)

Lee refuses Magneto leaving him brokenhearted.

July

New Mutants (1983) #29 “Meanwhile, Back at the Mansion” by Chris Claremont

Lee has time to reflect and realizes she does have feelings for Magneto. She confesses her feelings for him and they reconcile.

Magneto apologizes for using his powers in a high-handed way and promises to do better.

Charles asks Magneto to lead the X-Men and the New Mutants against the Beyonder.

Secret Wars II (1985) #1 “Earthfall!” by Jim Shooter

Magneto rallies the X-Men and the New Mutants to fight the Beyonder, and as the Blackbird is out of service, Magneto uses his powers to fly the Xavier institute limousine from New York to California.

August

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #196 “What was That?!!” by Chris Claremont

Magneto is brought into the X-Men fold.

Magneto dissuades Rachel Summers from killing an anti-mutant extremest demonstrating his full acceptance of doing things the Xavier way.

Magneto states that “My children have disowned me.” Referring to Wanda and Pietro.

Magneto draws a parallel between himself and Rachel Summers saying that he “Like Rachel… has dwelled too long in the valley of the shadow of death. In too many tragic ways, we are kindred souls – survivors of the holocaust, children of the abyss.”

Kitty remarks that Magneto has the makings of a hero and Magneto replies “No. I am no hero, merely a man… who has seen and done and endured what can never be forgotten… or forgiven.”

November

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #199 “The Spiral Path” by Chris Claremont

Magneto and Kitty attend a reception at the National Holocaust Center in Washington, D.C.

Kitty asks those in attendance if they have any news of her great-aunt Chava who lived in Warsaw before the war.

Magneto reveals that he knew Kitty’s aunt at Auschwitz. He also runs into some friends, other survivors who were at Auschwitz with him. They remark that Magneto helped to save them, and many others. (One could read this conversation as implying Magneto was Polish by nationality)

Magneto’s friends state that he had been in Auschwitz “from the very start.”

Neither of his friends use his name during the conversation.

Mystique and the Freedom Force arrest Magneto for the US Government. Magneto surrenders himself into their custody.

December

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #200 “The Trial of Magneto” by Chris Claremont

Magneto is put on trial before the World Court.

Gaby Haller acts as his defense attorney.

She argues that Magneto should only be judged for actions undertaken after his rebirth from infancy.

She reveals that Magneto was an inmate in Auschwitz “as an adolescent.”

Magneto is revealed to be, biologically, only in his early thirties.

The proceedings are interrupted by an attack. Charles and Magneto end up away from the court.

Charles entrusts the running of his institute and the keeping of his dream to Magneto telling him not to return to court to be martyred. Charles is then beamed aboard a spaceship for urgent medical care.

1986

January

New Mutants (1983) #35 “The Times, They Are A’changin’!” by Chris Claremont

Magneto takes up his post as the headmaster of the Xavier Institute. Magneto tells the New Mutants he is doing this to “honor that friendship” he has with Charles.

The New Mutants are skeptical of Magneto, but Magneto asks them to give him a chance. He says that both he and Charles view this as a way of “putting things right” after all the evil he has done in his life.

Magneto has doubts about his ability to run the institute.

Magneto wishes Lee were with him, but she’s running her ship. Magneto misses her which surprises him because Magneto “thought I was beyond such caring.”

Lee wrote Magneto a letter telling him that she loved him and calling him darling.

Mirage (Dani Moonstar) is attacked on her way home from town and once Mirage is safe, Magneto finds the attackers. He destroys their house and threatens “Once, with far less cause, I would quite cheerfully have slain you – rent your bodies limb from limb as easily as I did your house. Indeed, I am sorely tempted. The world would not miss such as you. But I am older, a littler sadder – and I hope, wiser. I have learned a better way.” and “Mine is the power to destroy – but I choose not to. Profit from my example. The evil you do others returns unto you a thousandfold – it scars both body and, far worse, soul. Continue down this cruel and bloody road you’ve chosen and one day, you’re certain to meet one not as forgiving as I. Is that what you want? The choice, as ever, remains your own.”

Mirage’s attackers turn themselves into the police.

February

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #202 “X-Men, I’ve Gone to Kill the Beyonder!” by Chris Claremont

Magneto uses Cerebro.

March

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #6 “No Strings Attached!” by Steve Englehart

Wanda invites Magneto to her thanksgiving dinner but ultimately tells him that he will have to prove himself before she’ll accept him into her life.

Magneto takes responsibility for being a bad father. (the author doesn’t write consistently on if Magneto knew he was the twins’ father or not, he also doesn’t seem to care if Pietro has any hard feelings about Magneto, Wanda is the only one who counts. Also, he has Magneto call pregnant Wanda hysterical for no reason, just fyi.)

April

New Mutants (1983) #38 “Aftermath!” by Chris Claremont

The New Mutants are collectively dealing with psychic shock after their meeting with the Beyonder. This includes nightly collective nightmares for the students and Magneto.

Magneto has doubts about his ability to help the students recover.

Emma Frost offers that Magneto should send the children to her Massachusetts Academy where she can use her powers to help them.

Magneto meets the Salem Center High principal Analie Hogarth. Magneto reveals that he is posing as Charles’ “mysterious older cousin” and going under the alias Michael Xavier, an identity Charles created for him.

One of Emma’s students, a Hellion named Empath (Manuel de la Rocha) is revealed to the reader as having manipulated Magneto to feel lost and confused.

Magneto tries throughout the issue to help the New Mutants, but nothing works. He finally agrees to Emma’s offer.

May

New Mutants (1983) #39 “Pawns of the White Queen” by Chris Claremont

Magneto goes into a spiral after sending the majority of the New Mutants away to Emma’s school, Mirage and Warlock being the only students who didn’t go. Mirage criticizes Magneto for not doing more before leaving to go back to her family.

Magneto swims.

Magneto shaves with a straight razor.

Magneto learns that he was manipulated into letting the New Mutants go to Emma’s school. Magneto proclaims Emma “Will learn – very soon and to her eternal sorrow – the Magneto is not a man… to have as one’s enemy!”

Emma alerts the police, telling them that Magneto is attempting to abduct her students knowing that the Avenger’s will try and stop him.

June

New Mutants (1983) #40 “Avengers Assemble!” by Chris Claremont

The Avengers are told Magneto is going to abduct children, all of them assume Magneto has gone bad again and wants to use the children to reboot the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants with younger, more malleable minds.

Magneto has a conversation with Warlock reminding him to never take someone’s “lifeglow” aka their life force which would kill them.

The Avengers battle Magneto who tries to keep Warlock safe and not harm the Avengers. He attempts to explain himself but the Avengers refuse to listen. Captain America tells Magneto of Namor’s heroism during WWII, Magneto replies saying “How fortunate for him, Captain. At the time, I was but a victim of that self-same tyranny. Then, I lacked the strength to win my freedom – and save the lives of those I held dear – but Never Again!” Magneto insists that he has “learned a better way” and is no longer a villain.

The New Mutants rally together and come to Magneto’s aid giving Captain America pause to reflect that the Avengers have welcomed other reformed villains, why shouldn’t they also welcome Magneto.

Magneto and Emma work together to heal the New Mutants’ psychic shock. Emma “made their minds whole… but not their hearts, or souls. Now, at last, with their teachers’ help and support, they have faced their nightmares… and dealt with them… each in their own way.” Emma remarks that Magneto was able to reach the New Mutants on a deeper level which made a “crucial difference.”

September

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #12 “Double Size Climax!” by Steve Englehart

Magneto is invited to welcome Wanda and her twins home from the hospital after she gives birth.

October

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #210 “The Morning After” by Chris Claremont

Magneto is invited to take the place of the White King in the Hellfire Club.

November

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #211 “Massacre” by Chris Claremont

Magneto chides Kitty for eating junk food and tells her “Just don’t make a habit of such behavior.”

The X-Men discover that the Morlocks have been massacred. Magneto says “No! The horrors of my childhood, born again – only this time, mutants are the victims, instead of Jews.”

December

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #212 “The Last Run” by Chris Claremont

Magneto uses his powers to heal Colossus from grave injuries. The narrative states Magneto “Has taken life so often – brought harm so easily it became almost second nature. Now he has a chance to heal. He will die himself before he fails.”

1987

January

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #213 “Psylocke” by Chris Claremont

Magneto informs the X-Men that he intends to join forces with the Hellfire Club and have the X-Men work alongside the Hellfire Club against the Marauders. The X-Men agree.

New Mutants (1983) #47 “My Heart for the Highlands” by Chris Claremont

While dealing with the aftermath of the Morlock attack, Magneto urges Moira to eat and prepares a meal for the two of them to share, complete with full place settings and candelabra.

Magneto tells Moira “I have lived my whole life with despair, Moira, believing the worst of humanity. But since becoming headmaster of Xavier’s – more especially, by knowing the New Mutants – I have learned… the virtue and power of hope. This is a lesson I will not easily cast aside.”

February

Fantastic Four vs. the X-Men (1987) #1 “Are You Sure?!” by Chris Claremont

(This miniseries dovetails into the regular Uncanny X-Men timeline and even though it runs concurrently with the similarly titled “The X-Men vs. the Avengers (1987)” these stories are not overlapping timeline wise and the events of the Fantastic Four miniseries only makes sense to have concluded before the Avengers miniseries begins.)

Kitty is in need of high tech medical care to resolidify herself after being stuck in a permanent phase. Without help she will eventually dissipate. Magneto goes to seek help from Reed Richards.

The Fantastic Four are suspicious of Magneto but agree to help.

Upon arriving at Moira’s Muir Island research facility, Reed has second thoughts and declines to help for fear he could outright kill Kitty accidentally. Magneto insists that he at least try and even attempts to steal Richards’ machine to use it himself, but the Fantastic Four thwart this plan and the X-Men are left without hope for Kitty.

New Mutants (1983) #48 “Ashes of the Heart” by Chris Claremont

Magneto is alone at the Mansion, the New Mutants having disappeared and by many are presumed dead.

Magneto goes through each New Mutant’s room and tidies it with the help of little robots he calls widgets.

Stevie Hunter, the school PE teacher, tells Magneto he should give up and face reality that the New Mutants are dead. Magneto tells her “I’ve come to know these children, and… care for them. Whatever I was, Stevie – whatever I become – they mean too much to me… to abandon them.”

March

Fantastic Four vs. the X-Men (1987) #2 “Truth and Consequences” by Chris Claremont

Magneto and the X-Men turn to Doctor Doom for help to save Kitty.

New Mutants (1983) #49 “Ashes of the Soul” by Chris Claremont

Magneto has a dream of when his family was killed by the German death squads known as the Einsatzgruppen.

It is spring time. A small group of people are gathered in front of a pit in the countryside.

Magneto is depicted as a young, black-haired boy, perhaps 10 years old, wearing short pants and long socks.

Magneto’s sister appears to be two or three years older than him.

German soldiers fire at the group of people killing all save Magneto. Without understanding what happens, Magneto’s powers manifest enough to spare him from death, “His mind burns, power he never dreamed existed coming alive.”

He is buried with his family and the rest of the victims, but since he did not die he climbs out of the pit.

Magneto is depicted breaking through the earth to the shock of the German soldiers. Magneto’s black hair has turned white.

Magneto wakes from his memory-dream thinking “So long ago, so far away. Yet the memories are still vivid. Every detail, etched with acid. My power – my mastery over magnetism – first manifested itself that morning. It saved me, why wouldn’t it do the same for those I loved?! The Germans were so astonished by my survival, the decided to spare my life. I was sent instead to a concentration camp. Auschwitz. Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t struggled so hard.”

Magneto wonders if his dream is a harbinger of mutantkind’s eventual fate.

Magneto is still undecided about joining the Hellfire Club thinking “If we stand alone, we could be destroyed. If I accept this alliance… we could be destroyed! The choice is mine – the responsibility is mine – but I don’t know what to do!”

April

The X-Men vs. the Avengers (1987) #1 “Justice for All” by Roger Stern

The Avengers track down Magneto and insist they’re going to bring him back before the World Court and end his trail properly.

(Jim Shooter is fired as Editor in Chief from Marvel Comics this month leading to several years of corporate fuckery that resulted in erasing all of Magneto’s character development and pivoting him back to being an antagonist by the 90’s)

May

New Mutants (1983) #51 “Teacher’s Choice” by Chris Claremont

Magneto and Storm work together to repair a failing breakwater and save a human community from a hurricane.

Storm urges Magneto to accept the position of White King in the Hellfire Club.

Magneto refers to his helmet as a symbol of his past life as a super-villain.

Magneto and Storm jointly accept the role of White King.

June

Fantastic Four vs. the X-Men (1987) #4 “A Matter of Faith” by Chris Claremont

Magneto confides in Storm his feelings of helplessness to do anything to save Kitty. He reflects on his past saying “Roughly five hundred miles in that direction is Auschwitz – the Nazi death camp – where my parents and sister were murdered. I should have died with them. And due west from Latveria is the Soviet city of Vinnitsa. There was a fire. I was injured saving my wife. My daughter remained trapped in the burning building. She was much like Kitty, my Anya. The most beautiful of children – two years old, Ororo, and she never cried. She only laughed – with wonder and joy – as though life was some magnificent adventure, staged for her alone.” (There is some contradiction between this telling and the others, some of the details change as ideas are developed even though the story remains wholly the same.)

He goes on to say “She burned, Storm! My power was weaker then. I used it to save my wife, but couldn’t reach Anya. A crowd had gathered. I begged for help. They refused me. They saw I was a mutant and some called for me to be hurled into the same flames that consumed my child. Too late – in rage and a grief that ravages me still – I came at last to my birthright: the absolute control over the forces and manifestations of magnetism that is the power of… Magneto! Magda… was so terrified of my power… and how I wielded it… that she fled from me. How different, I wonder, would the pathway of my life have been if she had not? In that awful moment, Storm, I lost everything.” (This telling of the story does not include the secret police)

Magneto tells Storm that he feels he is forever haunted by his past saying that people insist on seeing him as a villain even though he’s changed. He reflects that maybe he should have gone back to finish his trial.

Reed Richards finally comes to help them save Kitty and later Magneto and Richards make peace with each other.

July

The X-Men vs. the Avengers (1987) #4 “Day of Judgment” by Tom DeFalco

Magneto surrenders himself to the Avengers and agrees to finish his trial before the World Court.

Gaby Haller once again acts as his defense attorney.

Magneto uses his helmet and advanced technology circuits to influence the chief justice to rule in his favor. It is unclear, however, if he actually was able to influence the judge or if the judge ruled in Magneto’s favor of his own volition. The court declares it has no jurisdiction over Magneto.

Marvel Fanfare #33 “Shadows on the Soul” by Chris Claremont

(This story originally written for a different series but never released until 1987.)

Magneto and Lee are together and confess their feelings for each other.

Magneto calls the X-Men his friends.

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #219 “Where Duty Lies” by Chris Claremont

It is revealed that Magneto has publicly assumed the identity as a cousin of Charles’ who also bears the last name Xavier.

August

Classic X-Men (1986) #12 by Chris Claremont

(Classic X-Men reprinted earlier Claremont X-Men stories but added new material (sometimes individual pages, sometimes additional short stories) to fill out the issue and tie into current comic continuity. Claremont wrote both the original X-Men issue that was being reprinted and the new material that was added.)

(New material that takes place directly after Uncanny X-Men (1963) #104)

Magneto is asleep not long after being resurrected by Eric the Red. He is dreaming “As always, the dream begins with Auschwitz… and Magda. More than a million people died in this camp. And with World War II ending – the Third Reich defeated – it’s guards wanted no witnesses left… to tell the tale of this horror.”

Magneto prevents a camp guard from killing Magda, then takes the guard’s gun and runs away with Magda.

Magneto is said to have “been here from the start… grown to manhood within its electrified barbed wire fence. If he was to die, it would not be in this abattoir… and not without a fight!”

Magneto and Magda run into the wilderness, eventually escaping into the Carpathian Mountains where they eventually settle and begin to build a life together. The page shows Magneto felling a tree, learning woodworking, studying, Magneto socializing with friends at a dinner table, getting married to Magda and cuddling his wife and newborn daughter, Anya.

Magneto is described as having “an insatiable hunger for knowledge, coupled with a wildfire intelligence” so eventually “he bade the village farewell and took his family eastward, into the Soviet Union, hoping to win a place at university” (This suggests that Magneto was living in a village in the Polish side of the Carpathians)

Magneto, Magda and Anya come to the “city of Vinnitsa, the biggest they’d ever seen.” (This suggests that Magneto and Magda came from a rural village or town before being sent to Auschwitz)

Magneto leaves his wife and daughter to go find work.

Anya is depicted as a child between 4-6 years old.

Magneto’s powers first manifest when he has a disagreement with another man. Magneto realizes the powers come from himself and isn’t sure what to make of it.

Magneto returns to the inn where he and his family are staying since this is their first day in the city. The inn is on fire and Anya is trapped on the second floor of the building.

Magda is in the building trying to save their daughter, Magneto uses his powers to get her to safety.

Magneto curses in Russian.

Magneto attempts to get to Anya but is prevented by secret police who are trying to arrest him for his earlier disagreement.

Anya dies in the fire, Magneto’s powers break loose killing those around him save for Magda.

Magda is terrified by what she just witnessed and runs away from Magneto.

Magneto wakes from his dream and uses his powers to save a nearby mother and child from a fire.

Magneto speaks French.

1988

January

New Mutants Annual (1984) #4 “Mind Games” by Louise Simonson

Magneto lectures Sunspot (Roberto da Costa) that the new Mutant Registration Act presents a real danger to all mutants. He states “There are diverse elements in the government who are eager to locate us mutants… in part through their Mutant Registration Act. Some of them would use us. The others would destroy us. I have staked my life that they will do neither.”

New Mutants (1983) #59 “Fang and Claw!” by Louise Simonson

Magneto is overjoyed when Sunspot and Warlock return from an absence.

A villain pulls up a file on the New Mutants showing their images and listing everyone’s name, code-name and powers. Magneto’s profile lists him as “Magnus, Magneto, Master of Magnetism, School’s Headmaster” no last name is given.

February

Classic X-Men (1986) #18 by Chris Claremont

(Additional material to Uncanny X-Men (1963) #112)

Storm reflects on when Magneto was turned into an infant, thinking “He returned completely to a state of grace.”

March

(The X-Men are presumed dead after the events of Uncanny X-Men #227)

New Mutants (1983) #61 “Our Way!” by Louise Simonson

Magneto discovers one of the New Mutants, Cypher (Doug Ramsey) has been murdered after a misadventure. Magneto lashes out at the New Mutants for not protecting Doug and for disobeying him. Everyone is deeply upset.

Magneto goes to the infirmary where Doug’s body is laying. He pulls back the sheet covering Doug and looks at the boy thinking “Curse you Charles Xavier, for putting me in this position! I have no rapport with these children. Observe the bitter fruit of my labors!” Magneto kneels at the side of the table where Doug lays and weeps over his body. “An ill wind is coming… they are registering mutants like the once registered my people in Poland…! Who knows what horrors await us. But they are only children. How can they possibly understand… any of this.” (This suggests Magneto is Polish by birth)

Classic X-Men (1986) #19 by Chris Claremont

(Additional material to Uncanny X-Men (1963) #113)

Magneto is described thusly: “His wealth places him far beyond the dreams of avarice. And he numbers some of the finest minds on Earth among his acquaintances. The one facet of his personality that has not changed throughout the decades is his love of learning coupled with an insatiable curiosity about the universe.”

Magneto is a regular correspondent with Stephen Hawking.

Magneto is seen working with advanced scientific equipment making discoveries capable of revolutionizing particle physics and would qualify him for a Nobel prize.

Magneto remembers that Magda used to find him studying long hours to the point that he’d “forgotten food, and sleep, and even her.”

Magneto shaves with an electric razor.

Magneto thinks about Magda and Anya thinking since his resurrection he’s never been stronger or more haunted.

Magneto wonders if Magda is still alive and if she recognizes the famous “evil mutant” as her former husband.

Magneto describes Charles as his dearest friend.

(New material presented in the form of a backflash that takes place at some point after the Uncanny X-Men (1963) #161 story which details Charles and Magneto meeting for the first time. This story suggests that these events take place shortly before Uncanny X-Men #1 when the X-Men face Magneto for the first time in 1963.)

Magneto single-handedly takes out a secret Nazi base in South America and captures Oberstrumbanführer Hans Richter to be taken back to Israel and put on trial.

After using his powers, Magneto suffers from debilitating psychic pain “Worse than the bite of the kapo’s whip, the murder of parents and family. The death of a child. The loss of a beloved wife. It passes quickly leaving him alive – and almost wishing he wasn’t.” Magneto observes that “These seizures strike now whenever I use my powers. More extreme my usage, more debilitating the attack.”

Magneto reports of the captured Nazi to a group called only “Control” (This seems to be a stand in for a Mossod style organization.)

Two weeks later, in Rio de Janiero, Magneto reads an article about Charles Xavier and wonders if he shouldn’t reconnect with him and seek help for his psychic attacks.

A woman in a bikini and sarong approaches Magneto asking why he’s dressed so formally in a suit and tie at a beach front cafe. Magneto replies “This, I’m afraid, is as uninhibited as I get.”

The woman turns out to be Magneto’s lover Isabelle, no last name is given.

Magneto recounts to Isabelle about how Anya died and Magda left him.

Control did not want Richter captured as he was a useful informant, so they send a squad to kill Isabelle and Magneto. They succeed in slaying Isabelle, but Magneto uses his powers to fight against them.

Magneto looks on Isabelle’s body completely disillusioned with humanity. The reader is told that “the dream dies… and the nightmare is born.”

June

New Mutants (1983) #64 “Instant Replay!” by Louise Simonson

Magneto is disgusted with himself after being forced to lie about the circumstances of Cypher’s death. He tells the New Mutants “It’s wrong. His parents have the right to know the truth about their son… about the way he died. But I feel that it would be dangerous to reveal ourselves as mutants at this time.”

August

New Mutants (1983) #66 “Sorcerer’s Duel!” by Louise Simonson

Magneto is seen in his old purple and red villain costume for the first time since Uncanny X-Men #188 and Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #12. This seems to be the start of Magneto’s corporate mandated pivot back to being an antagonist.

November

New Mutants (1983) #69 “Bad Company” by Louise Simonson

Magneto, dressed once more in his traditional red and purple outfit, holds his helmet in his hands as he says “All I have ever wanted for mutantkind is peace and prosperity. I thought I had found a better way to achieve my goal… and eschewed my old, violent ways. I had hoped to find solace as teacher and protector of the young. But they refuse to be safeguarded, if they are on Earth, I will find them… and protect them actively in the way that I know best.” Magneto puts his helmet on.

1989

April

New Mutants (1983) #74 “The Right Stuff” by Louise Simonson

Shaw blames Magneto for damages to New York City caused by Magick’s (Illyana Rasputin) Limbo demons.

Magneto and Sebastian Shaw fight each other briefly, Magneto accuses Shaw of not caring for mutantkind.

Later, Magneto talks to Emma and suggests that Shaw was right to blame him.

May

New Mutants (1983) #75 “King of the Hill!” by Louise Simonson

Magneto fights with Shaw for control of the Hellfire Club.

Magneto comes out of the confrontation victorious and Shaw is expelled from the club.

Magneto and the New Mutants have a falling out and the New Mutants refuse to have anything more to do with him.

November

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #253 “Storm Warnings” by Chris Claremont

Magneto and Moira quarrel on Muir Island about him parting ways with the X-Men, the New Mutants and the Xavier Institute.

Magneto is convinced “There is a war coming, Moira. And you are a fool if you do not see it. We mutants cannot be wished away, we are here on this earth, more and more born every day. There are those who will accept us, and those who fear us and seek our destruction. And, worst of all, those like Genoshans… who desire to exploit us for their own power and profit. We must be strong enough – as a people – to survive without the sufferance of the one or the aggression of the others. I mean to ensure that. I must – because there is no one else.”

Magneto tells Banshee “I am sorry things have to end like this – but I suspect it’s for the best. Some roads are better traveled alone.”

Magneto leaves.

1990

October

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #269 “Rogue Redux” by Chris Claremont

Magneto intervenes to save Rogue’s life after she is reborn from another dimension without her mutant abilities. He attempts to return her to her previous strength and powers in his base in the Savage Lands.

1991

February

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #273 “Too Many Mutants” by Chris Claremont

Jean tells Storm that she’s concerned Magneto is returning to his old ways.

March

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #274 “Crossroads” by Chris Claremont

Magneto narrates this issue: “All my life, I have been drawn to the wild and desolate places of the world. As a boy, I saw myself walking where no man ever had. Alone against the elements. The more I came to know of people… the more strongly that yearning dream spoke to me. As the fierce, unyielding emptiness without struck some resonant echo within my heart and soul. Yet for all of that… for all of life replete with it’s share and far more of rage and pain and suffering, as harshly given as endured… still I manage to find myself with allies. Who appear determined to stand by me, regardless. I wonder which are the greater fools: they for trying and trusting, or me for allowing it.”

Magneto is working with Ka-Zar and a depowered Rogue in the Savage Lands against the evil Zaladane.

When Rogue fights one of Zaladane’s goons, Magneto intervenes, thinking “I hear my daughter Anya scream as she burns before my eyes… hear Isabelle’s gasp of surprise as she is murdered… two I loved but were unable to save. Only avenge. It will not be that way with Rogue.”

Rogue presses Magneto to be merciful, saying “We’re the good guys, right?! We’re s’posed t’ stand for something better!” Magneto narrates “She actually believes that. Why can’t I? All I see is blood. That already spilled. That yet to be. I see my path so clearly. But I turn away.”

Magneto narrates “Later in my citadel, I reflect that ages ago – in what for me was another lifetime – I used my knowledge of genetics to mutate a band of swamp savages into super-powered beings. When they were no longer useful, I abandoned them to their fate, forgot their very existence. More of my past come back to haunt my present and threaten the future.” and in regards to his past as leader of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants “It is a goal I once had, in those long-gone days of madness, when I was reviled and condemned as a super-villain” and then later “My life’s ambition has been to safeguard my fellow mutants. Zaladane has no such compunction. And I hear the echo of Der Führer’s voice in the radio of memory, smell the awful stench of the sick and dying as the cattle cars brought the condemned to Auschwitz. I wear red, the color of blood, in tribute to their lost lives. And the harder I try to cast it aside, to find a gentler path… the more irresistibly I’m drawn back. I should have died myself, with those I loved. Instead, I carted the bodies by the hundred by the thousands… from the death house to the crematorium… and the ashes to the burial ground. Asking now what I could not then – why was I spared?! To bring others the death that passed me by?”

Magneto narrates on Zaladane “The more I come to know of her… the more I find myself trapped in a mirror… staring at a distorted vision of myself. Sleep is a mistake. But I’m so weary this once I can’t resist. Any more than I can hold at bay… the nightmares that come along. Flowers. Scent of growing things. Joyful sounds of life. So clear. So crisp, after more than half a century. Someone sobs. My sister holds tight my hand. My father still cannot believe this is happening. I hear laughter. The guns blaze, and I’m falling with the others. Into darkness. Loamy earth smell tainted by the acrid burning of lime. All of us pressed so tight together, embracing eternity. So easy to give up. Lie in my grave. Breathe my last. But I fight!” (This recounts the events around Magneto's family's death depicted in The New Mutants #49)

Rogue wakes Magneto and they share a moment before being interrupted by Ka-Zar. Magneto thinks “Am I imagining the sudden spark between us. Leaving Rogue as shaken as I? Leave well enough alone. I am pledged to another. As much as one can pledge a heart full of ghosts.”

Magneto narrates “I cannot recall a point in my life when I did not fight. Nor any longer of a time when war held the slightest horror for me.”

Magneto’s group is aided by Nick Fury’s group which includes the father of one of the Soviet sailors killed by Magneto on the submarine Leningrad. Magneto narrates “Again, a cry from the past. One father to another, in anguished grief for a slain child. At the time, my actions seemed quite appropriate. The Leningrad had fired a salvo of nuclear ballistic missiles at me, so I sank her, with all hands. Thinking of that crew not as people, but merely an object lesson: how dare they defy me, threaten me, these Russians whose countrymen let my daughter burn to death? There is too much history and hate between us. I cannot talk to these men.”

April

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #274 “The Path Not Taken” by Chris Claremont and Jim Lee

The Russian colonel guns down Magneto leading to him being captured by Zaladane. The colonel joins Zaladane. Zaladane uses a machine to try and transfer Magneto’s powers to herself. Under the influence of the machine Magneto narrates “Try as I might, I cannot stop this. And worst of all, as my life is torn from me, turned into a sideshow entertainment for the Brainchild’s sadistic pleasure… with my strength devoted wholly to that struggle, I have nothing left to block my emotional responses to the memories themselves. Once more, I hear myself howl ‘til my voice shatters at the sight of my daughter, Anya, burning to death before my eyes. Once more, hot blood mixes with salt tears as my beloved Isabelle’s throat is cut by those I thought my trusted friends. Once more, rage flashes through me… hand in hand with a terror I’d not felt since Auschwitz… as at last I confront the Shadow King. Followed by sick shame at the awful cost of my survival.”

Zaladane leaves Magneto with her minions. Rogue and her team have infiltrated Zaladanes stronghold and once Magneto realizes they are there, he strikes the minions unexpectedly. Magneto narrates “They think me beaten, finished. A mistake many have made in the past. As I found the strength, as a boy, to survive being machine gunned and buried alive, and later the unimaginable horror of Auschwitz… so do I find it in me, here and now, to break free.”

Magneto narrates “The primal, paramount lesson of my life is that I can depend on no one save myself.”

Magneto fights against the Russian colonel saying “I am sorry for your son, colonel. Which is more than I ever heard… for the slaughter of those I loved.” Colonel Semyanov says “Your… daughter you mean? And that absolves you of any crime?” Magneto replies “I never said it did. For who we are, and what we have done, comrade colonel… we are both of us condemned.”

Rogue and Magneto argue over how he intends to deal with Zaladane. Magneto says “The New Mutants were left in my charge and they suffered for it – because I tried to pattern myself after Charles Xavier. I am not Charles Xavier. I will never be Charles Xavier. I was a fool to try. As he was, for believing I could succeed. My people are in danger – more so now than ever before – from the Hellfire Club and their accursed Shadow Kind, from foul creatures such as this, perhaps even from the very United Nations which Colonel Fury loyally serves. And a kinder, gentler Magneto cannot save them.”

October

X-Men (1991) #1 “Rubicon” by Chris Claremont and Jim Lee

Magneto has established a mutant haven on a new Asteroid M. World governments are wary of it and the X-Men are dispatched to discover what’s going on.

Magneto raises the submarine Leningrad (which he sank in Uncanny X-Men #150) from the sea floor. He finds some of the nuclear missiles the submarine was carrying are intact.

Inside the submarine, Magneto finds himself sitting among the bones of the Leningrad’s crew. “Now though, at last, he finds himself face to face with the consequence of his acts. And he remembers another time, other bodies, bones still coated with the flesh of family and friends, tossed into a lime-soaked pit and him along with them, only he was still alive. Somehow, he clawed his way to the surface.” (This again refers to the account of Magneto's family's death in The New Mutants #49)

Rogue tells Magneto that his actions are scaring people. Magneto says “I tried my best to change, I did my best to follow Xavier’s path to a peaceful co-existence between Homo Sapiens and Homo Sapiens Superior. And paid for that folly with the blood of innocents.”

Later on Asteroid M, Magneto ruminates on his latest conflict with the X-Men thinking of Wolverine in particular “For the brief time I worked with the X-Men, he accepted me wholeheartedly. If not as a friend, then at least as a comrade-in-arms. Why then has he turned on me? What has changed? Why must blood always come between me and others?” (Magneto has been working with the X-Men and the New Mutants since 1985)

Radical mutant acolytes that have decided to follow Magneto, led by Fabian Cortez, fight with the X-Men. Magneto puts a stop to it and says “All my life, I have seen people slaughtered wholesale for no more reason than the deity they worshipped, or the color of their skin – or the presence in their DNA of an extra, special gene. I cannot change the world but I can – and will – ensure that my race will never again suffer for its fear and prejudice. Henceforth, I declare Asteroid M a sovereign world. Home and haven to mutantkind. If you are born Homo Sapiens Superior, then you are automatically a citizen, entitled to safe haven above and security below. Even you X-Men – even your mentor, my old friend, Charles Xavier – are welcome here. But mark this and mark it well – harm done against any mutant is harm done to me. And I shall respond accordingly.”

November

X-Men (1991) #2 “Firestorm” by Chris Claremont and Jim Lee

Beast says that the Genoshans are changing for the better, and asks why Magneto is going in the opposite direction. Magneto says “You know that answer, Beast… you would have to live my life. And I would not wish such a fate, even on my most hated enemy.”

Magneto abducts Charles and Moira looking for answers about his genetic structure. Moira admits that she saw there was a genetic instability in Magneto’s genetic matrix, and she tried to stabilize it when he was an infant in her care.

Magneto is infuriated that Moira conducted genetic experimentation on him in an attempt to change who he was. He questions every decision he’s made since his rebirth.

Moira is apologetic, but Magneto’s anger is unabated. He tells her “I heard those same rationales as a boy, in the Auschwitz death camp, from Dr. Josef Mengele himself!”

December

X-Men (1991) #3 “Fallout” by Chris Claremont and Jim Lee

Moira reveals that the genetic experimentation she did on baby Magneto didn’t work.

Moira also points out that Cortez has been using his power to weaken Magneto.

Cortex flees Asteroid M and fires a shot at the complex that will kill all the inhabitants.

Charles and the X-Men prepare to leave in their spacecraft, but Magneto refuses to leave with them instead choosing to stay on the asteroid to preserve its integrity as long as possible using his powers. He tells Charles “My life was shaped by forces and events none of you can possibly understand. You speak to the best of humanity. I have endured the worst. You imagine the reality of the Holocaust, of the Nazi death camps. I grew up in one. Perhaps, as you say, I am tainted by blood and rage – and death. But perhaps as well, that blood and rage and death comprise the armor that will sustain me and those who stand by me through the ordeal to come. The past is prologue, old friend. And the future I behold for you is… war. We have already chosen our path.”

Asteroid M blows up just as the X-Men escape. Charles tells them all “At the last… he opened his thoughts to me. He is still the man I remember from younger, happier days – who was my friend – and yet… none of that matters anymore, does it? ‘I save you, X-Men,’ he said, ‘because that is my task in life: to safeguard my people – Homo Sapiens Superior – mutantkind – from those who would do us harm. And those forces are legion. In that and I suspect nothing else, Charles, we are much alike. I have survived one Holocaust, I could not tolerate another. Nor any who – by accident, by intent – act to bring it about. I bore no animus to you, old friend, or your students until you chose to oppose me. Then, I had no choice but to count you among my enemies. Have no illusions on that score. Perhaps it’s best it end this way, Charles. Best for my dream to end in flames and glory, here far above Earth… for if we were ever to meet again… I would have shown you no mercy. I give you your dream, Charles. But I fear, in time, your heart will break as you realize it has ever been a fool’s hope. Farewell, my friend.”

Chris Claremont was removed from the X-Men without explanation and left Marvel after this book. He had been writing for the X-Men for 17 years. To learn more about Chris Claremont and his work on the X-Men and the corporate fuckery that lead to him leaving watch the 2018 documentary Chris Claremont’s X-Men which is currently available free on YouTube.

If you feel like I’ve overlooked or left out an important issue from the 1963-1991 era, please contact me and let me know. I will update this list with more information if any comes to light.

[bzhitstruth]

Coincidental circumstances-2

"Coincidental Circumstances-1" is here.

I won't talk about CPN, I'll just write what has happened recently. All conclusions are at the discretion of the readers. 😎

1. On July 31, GG published 18 photos (21 GG's images), exactly one month before the premiere of the documentary (31 Aug), the central image is the drawing of a mountain. Exactly 38 days from, on September 7, the first episode about climbing a snowy mountain was released.

After that, the whole of August GG only has current publications and advertising.

2. On August 5th DD posted the photo from the desert, the series about the desert will start on October 5th.

3. On August 14, DD flew to Shenzhen for the one-day promotional meeting, and on August 17, GG flew from Yichang to Beijing. Their clothes on these flights are white T-shirts, dark pants and panama. These are two different people:

4. On August 30, GG published 18 photos (20 GG's images), the central image is GG with a camera, the text of the post is an offer to “spend the weekend and record the charm of life.” The following day, Saturday, August 31, the documentary premiered.

After the offer to “spend the weekend together,” GG disappeared from view for a long time again, and apart from the necessary commercial materials, he had no other publications. DD and his team actively posted promotional materials and the documentary was broadcast.

5. Suddenly, GG appeared on September 15 (18 photos, 19 GG's images) and for some unknown reason congratulated everyone on the Mid-Autumn Festival in advance, although the holiday will only be on September 17. The first photo shows GG with a glass of champagne in his hand. The text says: "The years are bright and the time is bright..." On this day, DD celebrates the 10th anniversary of his debut.

💚❤️.

[kanmom51]

JM's production diary - the commentary

26 October 2023

So, just watched the commentary.

A few takes on the almost 24 minute clip:

a. JM's live on the 23rd October was not the first time JM watched the documentary. They were watching it together and commenting. So, seeing JK in the doco the other day in the live was not a first time JM is watching this. And yet, man was mezmarized.

b. JM wasn't planning such a personal revealing album to start with.

c. Curiously, well not so curiously nor surprisingly, the whole part of JK's participation in Letter (which once again was referenced as Dear.Army) was not addressed. They obviously watched the whole documentary, but had nothing to say (well more so, nothing the powers at be wanted us to hear) about JK's participation, about the interactions on screen or about the song itself, other than mentioning again it's a song for fans and talking 'around' the song (the fun moments while creating the song), and how emotional it was and made them feel.

*Tried to screenshot and couldn't, but the caption is what I wanted, and that worked, lol.

Point being - the editors are the ones, once again, pushing the "JM really spoke the truth to ARMY".

And that is the end of it.

Not one more word about Letter.

Even at the end of the commentary, when we get JM in the car on the way home talking about the album, about each and every song in the album.

You know what song he doesn't mention?

The one song he supposedly created for ARMY.

The one song that he tears up when hearing.

The one song that you would think JM would talk about while recording that last message to Army, a closing to the documentary and commentary, him on the way home in a very intimate-personal setting, the song he created for them, the song he supposedly gifted to them, and NOT A WORD.

JM talks about Face off, Like Crazy, Alone and Set me free pt. 2. And that's it.

No Letter, no Dear.Army.

You know, that same song we heard in the commentary just minutes before, that still brings tears to their eyes.

And we got another cake. A little late but the team celebrating the #1 billboard success.

So, now we have one more event coming up.

[louisupdates]

14 New Music Documentaries to Stream This Thanksgiving Weekend

BY LORIE LIEBIG [22.11.2023]

It’s almost Thanksgiving, which means it’s the perfect time to take a break and enjoy time with loved ones. Over the past year, a trove of captivating music documentaries have been released to streaming platforms.

Some of these cinematic highlights include Wynonna Judd documenting one of her most challenging career chapters yet, a thoughtful examination of Elvis Presley‘s big comeback, and a revealing look into Ed Sheeran‘s life away from the spotlight.

From K-pop to hip-hop, there’s something for every genre-lover to enjoy in this crop of 2023 movie releases. We’ve assembled a list of 14 must-see music documentaries released this year for your holiday viewing enjoyment.

1. Louis Tomlinson: All of These Voices

Former One Direction member and pop hitmaker Louis Tomlinson takes fans into the studio in this Paramount+ exclusive film. Released in October, this fascinating documentary examines the English singer/songwriter’s journey to crafting his solo career.

American Songwriter has recommended Louis Tomlinson’s All Of Those Voices first in their list of music documentaries to watch this week.

[thissying]

An overview of my F1 videos from Dutch media: documentaries, race weekend interviews etc., subtitled/translated to English when needed. Mostly Max, but other drivers as well.

MAX VERSTAPPEN

Anatomy of a Champion clips:

Sophie Kumpen 📽 subtitled

Family Dinner at Sophie's 📽 subtitled

Max & Kelly, back from vacation 📽 subtitled

nl.motorsport.com review ep 1 + 2

F1 Talks with Max Verstappen 2022 📽 (english spoken)

Amber chose violence for the opening of F1 Talks 2022

episode 1, p1/5

episode 1, p2/5

episode 1, p3/5

episode 1, p4/5

episode 1, p5/5

episode 2, p1/4

episode 2, p2/4

episode 2, p3/4

episode 2, p4/4

Red Bull Racing Home Run, 10 December 2022

Max arrives 📽 text translation

Max after his first run 📽 text translation

2023: Red Ginger Bull 📽

Picture Perfect 2022, 26 November 2022 📽 subtitled

p1/5

p2/5

p3/5

p4/5

p5/5

Max, pole sitter and comedian, GP Canada, 2023 📽 subtitled

Race weekend interviews with Viaplay 2023

Max on Father's Day and Penelope, GP Canada, 2023 📽 subtitled

Max about Helmut's phone, GP Spain, 2023 📽 subtitled

Max telling the story about Sassy being locked inside the closet, GP Monaco, 2023 📽 subtitled

Max (of course) post-race, GP Miami, 2023 📽 text translation

Max post-race, GP Miami, 2023 📽 text translation

Max reacting to George saying his actions crimes were okay, GP Azerbaijan, 29 April 2023 📽 subtitled

Max's race win preference and who he fears the most for the upcoming race, GP Azerbaijan, 29 April 2023 📽 subtitled

Max on the new fences rule and a Melbourne race win, GP Australia, 31 March 2023 📽 subtitled

Max about changes in F1 and his plans for the future, GP Azerbaijan, 29 April 2023 📽 subtitled

Max on being ill before and during Jeddah, GP Australia, 31 March 2023 📽 subtitled

Max and Nyck about The Lap of Jeddah '21, GP Jeddah, 18 March 2023 📽 text translation

If Max doesn't get pole and win this weekend, this could be why: GP Bahrein, 3 March 2023 📽 text translation

Pre-race routine: reaction time tests with Max, GP Baku, 2022 📽 subtitled

Race weekend interviews with Viaplay 2022

Max post-race interview, with a Daniel hug and touchy Lando, GP Abu Dhabi, 20 november 2022 📽 no subtitles/translation

Mike Hezemans congratulating Max on his pole lap, GP Mexico, 2022 📽 text translation

Pre-race interview with Max , Sophie's birthday, GP Mexico, 2022 📽 text translation

Post-WDC win interview with Max, GP Japan, 2022 📽 subtitled

Max on training for Singapore, GP Singapore, 2022 📽 subtitled

Lewis, Max and George scheming in the cooldown room, GP Spain, 2023 📽

Miscellaneous 2023

Ayrton Senna and Max Verstappen, GP Canada, 2023 📽

Foreign press about Max, GP Spain, 2023 📽

At age 25 Max Verstappen is already quickly on his way to becoming one of the greatest in Formula 1 history, GP Monaco, 2023 📰

Max & GP and the team pre-race, GP Monaco, 2023 📽🔇

Max and Ole post-qualifying, GP Monaco, 2023 📽

Max with GP darting in and out with super secret info, pre-sprint race, GP Azerbaijan, 29 April 2023 📽🔇

Max getting strapped into the maxi-cosi, pre-sprint race, GP Azerbaijan, 29 April 2023 📽🔇

Max pre-sprint race, GP Azerbaijan, 29 April 2023 📽🔇

Maxplaining to Charles, GP Azerbaijan, 29 April 2023 📽🔇

Max & Christian Horner, pre-qualifying, GP Australia, 01 April 2023 📽 🔇

Max & Christian Horner, Helmut Marko, pre-qualifying, GP Australia, 01 April 2023 📽 🔇

Maxplaining, Bahrein test day 1, 23 February 2023 📽

Pre-season testing interview with Max for Viaplay, Bahrein, 25 February 2023 📽 subtitled

Christian Horner and Max Verstappen about Ford, RBR Launch 2023 📽 subtitled

Christian about Daniel, RBR Launch 2023 📽

Max Verstappen about sim testing and improving, RBR Launch 2023 📽 subtitled

Max Verstappen about the new year + car, RBR Launch 2023 📽 subtitled

Max and Martin Garrix meeting at the garage, GP Mexico, 2022 📽

Miscellaneous 2022

Max's Machine trailer, with David Coulthard, 11 November 2022 📽

Post-championship win interview with Sophie Kumpen, 9 October 2022 📽 subtitled

Daniel x Max in Max Verstappen: The Next Generation 📽 subtitled

Daniel x Max background crumbs 1, GP Brazil, 13 november 2022 📽

Daniel x Max background crumbs 2, GP Brazil, 13 november 2022 📽

Daniel x Max background crumbs and Maxplaining, GP Singapore, 2022 📽

Daniel and George watching Max's last qualifying lap at Singapore, GP Singapore, 2022 📽

Sophie Kumpen and Victoria Verstappen, on RTL Late Night, post-GP Barcelona, 17 May 2016 📽 subtitled

Sophie Kumpen and Giedo van der Garde, on RTL Late Night, post-GP Barcelona, 17 May 2016 📽 subtitled

Jan Lammers on RTL Late Night, post-GP Barcelona, 17 May 2016 📽 subtitled

Max on the difference between working with Renault and Honda, 2019 📽 subtitled

Max about his onboards, Peptalk 2017 📽

Max, guest on Peptalk in 2017, playing Guess Who Said (I) 📽 text translation

Max, guest on Peptalk in 2017, playing Guess Who Said (II) 📽 text translation

OTHER

A tour of the Red Bull garage with Daniel, GP Canada, 2023 📽

Race weekend interviews with Viaplay/Dutch media 2023

Lewis and Fernando banter, post race, GP Canada, 2023 📽

George interview, about racing Max and that spatial awareness comment, and getting a gift. GP Canada, 2023 📽

Carlos about Le Mans and participating in the future (with Charles), Canada GP, 2023 📽 (link won't save. tag: le mans carlos)

Fernando post-race, GP Miami, 7 May 2023 📽

Lance Stroll interview, GP Azerbaijan, 2023 📽

Fernando Alonso checking if the lighting is flattering, GP Australia, post-qualifying, 1 April 2023 📽

NOS interview with Daniel Ricciardo, Australian GP, 1 April 2023 📽 + 📰

Daniel Ricciardo on when/if he's driving the car this year, GP Australia, 31 March 2023 📽

Nyck and Max about The Lap of Jeddah '21, GP Jeddah, 18 March 2023 📽 text translation

Viaplay visited orphanage Wat Sakraeo and talked to Alex Albon about it, Studio Formule 1: Bahrein Shakedown, 3 March 2023 📽 subtitled

Yuki only has knowledge about the cars, Bahrein, 25 February 2023 📽

Kevin Magnussen on his F1 comeback, living in Denmark, and Mick Schumacher, GP COTA, 2022 📽

Race weekend interviews with Viaplay/Dutch media 2022

Lando Norris, post sprint-race, GP Brazil, 13 November 2022 📽

Christian Horner interview with David Coulthard, post-race, GP COTA, 2022 📽

Daniel "I 🧡 Austin" Ricciardo, pre-race, GP COTA, 2022 📽

Williams vs. Alfa Romeo playing Dutch Trivia, GP Zandvoort, 2022 📽

George Russell and Daniel Ricciardo chatting mid-interview, GP Monza, 2022 📽

Sjoelen with Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz Jr., GP Zandvoort, 2022 📽

Mick Schumacher onboard after scoring his first points, GP Silverstone, 3 July 2022

[leclercarchive]

Charles Leclerc, the Ferrari driver tells his story: «I feel good only with the helmet on my head»

At 26, the young Monegasque has already entered the legend of Formula 1. Thanks to his cold blood and the audacity of a driving style that does not contemplate fear, Charles Leclerc has become "The predestined" for his fans. Since he was a child he loved red cars and with Ferrari he fulfilled his dream…

Almost 130 Grands Prix in Formula 1, 28 podiums, 22 pole positions and five victories: at 26, Charles Leclerc is already making history. His favorite driver is Ayrton Senna but «there are many I admire: Prost, Lauda, James Hunt, Michael Schumacher and Lewis Hamilton. However, Ayrton Senna (the Brazilian champion who died in a tragic accident at Imola in 1994, ed.), is my all-time idol. From what I was able to see in the documentaries that tell his story and by speaking with those who knew him in life, I discovered that he was a special person to say the least, not only behind the wheel - he was perhaps the best driver in history - but also as a human being." Leclerc's childhood is marked by a deep bond with his father Hervé (he bears his name on his helmet) who was also a pilot - «dad was my number 1 fan» – and by his untimely death in 2017. «I was four years old, I told my father that I wasn't feeling very well and didn't want to go to school. Of course I was pretending like all kids do. However, I don't know why, he indulged me and took me to the go-kart track of his best friend, Philippe Bianchi. Seeing other children running on the track, I wanted to try it too. For my first car I chose the color red. And I think I fell in love with this sport after just three laps." On that go-kart track Leclerc lives his dream of one day becoming a Formula 1 driver and there he meets his lifelong friend, Jules Bianchi, Philippe's son. In karting, Charles Leclerc collected one victory after another, also because "I didn't know the concept of braking". At 17 years old in 2014, he entered the “Formula Renault 2.0” with the Fortec Motorsports team. He took seven podiums and collected two victories, earning second place in the championship. In 2015 he moved to Formula 3 and, despite an accident on the Zandvoort circuit (Holland), which compromised the final position in the standings, and the death of his friend Jules Bianchi in July, after the accident at Suzuka on 5 October 2014, Leclerc he doesn't lose the desire to compete. «Formula 1 killed people I loved, but I can't help it», he declared some time later.

What was your first ever Grand Prix? «Macau in 2015. But I like to remember the first time I saw one. I was still a child, I had a friend whose apartment had a balcony overlooking the Monte Carlo circuit. Obviously I was already rooting for the red cars, even though I didn't yet know that they were Ferrari. It was simply my favorite color." In the 2016 GP3 season he won the title with the "ART Grand Prix" team, even if, during the last championship race in Abu Dhabi, he chose to retire. Does a pilot ever feel afraid? «I am a human being, even if I run at 300 kilometers per hour. Beautiful moments alternate with very difficult ones, I'm not a superhero. It was in 2017, when I thought I wouldn't be able to become a Formula 1 driver, that I felt a real feeling of fear." But it is precisely in 2017 that the turning point arrives. A year earlier Leclerc had taken part in the Ferrari Driver Academy. With the first free practice session of the British Grand Prix in 2016, he began his experience as a test driver for Haas and then for Ferrari. Over the course of the following year he became increasingly noticed, thanks to a series of victories - among them that of the FIA Formula 2 championship - and multiple tests of skill at the wheel of his car. In the 2017 championship he participated in four free practice sessions with Sauber, the first of which in the pouring rain on the Sepang circuit (Malaysia), and it was with the Swiss team that he became a Formula 1 driver. On board the Sauber C37, despite some difficulties, Leclerc demonstrates consistency and ends the 2018 season in 13th place in the drivers' standings with 39 points, voted "rookie" of the year. But what happens before a Formula 1 race? «Before running, a lot of tension builds up. I have been doing breathing exercises since I was a boy. They help me stay calm, so I can achieve a level of concentration that maximizes my potential. Preparation is 90% of the total work in a race." Before getting into the car there is also space for a ritual moment. «I only feel good when I wear the helmet and everyone comes out of the pit lane», he says, «the cockpit is like a nest, I don't feel any sensations, zero tension. There I relax while waiting for the race."

In September 2018, Scuderia Ferrari announced that the Monegasque driver would replace Kimi Räikkönen, alongside Sebastian Vettel. «I was on a boat in Monaco. I had put the phone on silent mode, I find the call from Maurizio Arrivabene (head of the Ferrari team ed.). I told the friend I was with to turn off the engines, that the head of Ferrari had called me and I wasn't hearing well. I understand that he wouldn't have taken me to Ferrari. It seemed a little strange that he called me to tell me, I was disappointed. Fifteen seconds later he called me back and told me he was joking. I attacked and dived into the sea, it all seemed so surreal. Me in Ferrari…". Even though his first time in Maranello dates back to a few years earlier as he reveals in the book “Le prodige” written by Rémi Boudoul: «I was 11 years old, but I didn't enter. I sat in the parking lot and imagined a structure similar to the one seen in “The Chocolate Factory”. With the Oompa Loompas running around." In 2018 his first race of the season in Australia ended with a fifth place, but the real affirmation came with the Bahrain Grand Prix, where he won his first pole position and finished the race in third place. The season continues with ups and downs. After a first victory in Belgium came the triumph on the Monza Circuit, in front of the delirious Scuderia Ferrari home crowd. Leclerc also arrived in pole position in Singapore and Russia, and ended the season in fourth place with 264 points, consolidating his reputation among the most promising talents in Formula 1. 2020 began with a second place in Austria. However, the Ferrari SF1000 demonstrates some limitations in subsequent races. Leclerc retires in Styria and ends up outside the points in Hungary. A bad accident in Monza, from which he emerged unscathed, represents a critical moment in that unspectacular year, which ended in eighth place in the drivers' standings.

The following year, the new Ferrari SF21 proved to be more competitive, allowing Leclerc - now at the Prancing Horse with Carlos Sainz Jr. - to achieve good results, including fourth places in Imola and Spain. In Monaco, he takes pole position but retires due to damage to the car before the race. His only podium came in Great Britain, finishing the season in seventh place in the drivers' standings. 2022 is more than positive. He wins the Bahrain Grand Prix, followed by a second place in Saudi Arabia and victories in Australia and Austria. He finishes in second place among the drivers, behind Max Verstappen. In 2023, with his SF23 single-seater, he achieved the second podium of the season in Austria, while in Great Britain he finished ninth. In Belgium, after some changes to the car, he gets pole and finishes third. In the Italian Grand Prix, in Monza, he started on pole and finished fourth. Beyond the races, twenty-six-year-old Charles Leclerc, just appointed ambassador of the Monegasque jewelery brand APM Monaco, tries to spend as much time as possible with his friends. «Ricardo, Alex, Thomas, Guillaume, Nico, Hugo, Joris. I'm happy with them, we go to the beach, to the restaurant, we play five-a-side football, we're all sporty and we train together. However, we have different lives, while they study, I live my passion. But I love racing, I love Ferrari." Ferrari which is not only synonymous with engines but also with fashion and Leclerc is a proud ambassador of the brand led by Rocco Iannone. «I often wear items from the Ferrari line, they are aerodynamic and the materials range from the more technical ones - which I am used to wearing every day in my work - to the more refined ones. I like that couture feel and above all the color that dominates in the Ferrari collections, a color that I don't think I need to specify...>>

[g1rltalk]

Like a Girl is the seventh mini album of the fictional South Korean girl group, GIRL TALK, released on November 16, 2023, through Delphi Entertainment and XG Labels. It’s available digitally and physically and has seven tracks with “Get It” being its title track. There are three versions of the album; “Get”, “Kill”, and “Hit”. GIRL TALK promoted “Get It” and “Nobody Knows” for six weeks.

“Get It” received nine music show wins. The music video received 70.4 million streams and 5.3 million likes in 24 hours. They posted daily content videos of “Sleep-Over with GIRL TALK” on their YouTube channel, held several online and in-person fansigns, as well as appearing on multiple variety shows. They also released the “Kill It” and “Hit It” dance practice versions. As usual, their girl crush and mature concepts always go viral, and this time, it was no exception.

Two weeks after Like a Girl was released, Delphi Entertainment announced GIRL TALK’s documentary film; The Girls Talk. Produced by Jordan Hwang, The Girls Talk is a documentary film that emphasizes each members’ individuality and struggles. According to Hwang, the girls “get real”. The Girls Talk was released on November 30, 2023, in select theaters worldwide. Due to popular demand it re-entered theaters in select countries on December 20 and 21 2023. The film is to be released on YouTube Premium on February 24, 2023.

༺☆༻ TRACKLIST

Get It title track

Nobody Knows promoted bside

Look

Eyes Roll

Love Me Like This

ICU (쉬어가도 돼)

21:29

༺☆༻ ALBUM CONTENT

THREE VERSIONS ( GET, HIT, KILL ) … EACH 1 disc + 1 photobook (112 photos) + 1 random photocard out of 5 types + 1 out of 5 mini solo posters + 1 out of 2 large group posters + 1 lyric book (16 pages) + 2 sets of stickers sheet + 1 random bookmark out of 5 with a member’s kiss stain on it

GET YOUR PHOTOCARDS HERE!

༺☆༻ LOOKBOOK

LEFT Get It RIGHT Nobody Knows

༺☆༻ THE PUBLIC’S VIEW

The comeback was announced on October 20th, giving fans and the public a few weeks to prepare. After it was announced, Yuuri went live with the title “AND THE GIRLS ARE BACK!” where she would spoil Nobody Knows, giving fans the first taste of their newest album. Soojin came in a moment after and took her phone away like she was a child, ending the live with a swift but sweet goodbye.

Now that fans knew that the album would involve a mature concept, boy, were they excited. Of course, they love all concepts by the girls but there’s always something about their mature concepts. Of course, non fans were excited, too.

Minji helped write Get It with Cho Yoonkyung, Holly helped Yoonkyung with Nobody Knows. Minji completely wrote ICU and all the girls wrote 21:29.

The music video would get 70.4 million streams and 5.3 million likes within 24 hours. Therefore beating their previous record of 79.8 million with Devil.

Get It debuted high on the charts, #1 on Bugs, #5 on MelOn, #7 on Genie, and #50 on Flo. It was #19 on Billboard 200. Nobody Knows also debuted #4 on Bugs, #6 on MelOn, and #90 on Flo. The girls tweeted a ten second video of them just screaming. No talking, no pausing, just screaming and then it ends. They followed up with another video, thanking the fans and everyone who listened to them.

Minji said ICU was to a close friend of hers, letting them know she’s always there for them, even oceans apart. She didn’t say which friend, but from the girls’ reactions, it’s safe to assume it’s about someone else.

The girls wrote 21:29 for the fans, one of the many. It was a tearjerker, Holly tears up when they first performed it live at an in person fansign.

Get It and Nobody Knows were promoted for six weeks from November 17th to December 17. Their first out of nine win for Get It was two days later on Inkigayo. They had two additional wins for Nobody Knows— which one of them they won against Get It.

As usual, the girls were active on social media. They especially posted a lot on TikTok, posting videos nearly every day and when they skipped one, Blossoms jokingly wondered if the girls were kidnapped or dead. They replied to fans on social media and had one or two lives each week.

They went on variety shows such as Knowing Bros and Minji and Mei guest starred in Running Man. Yuri joked on Knowing Bros that she wished We Got Married was still airing, she wanted to be on it. You can imagine netizens’ reactions. They also went on Jimmy Kimmel and performed.

Throughout the era, they released all three versions of Get It’s dance practices. They also released their MMA and GDA performance dance practices. On December 25, they released a special dance practice video where they wore similar outfits to the Mean Girls’ Santa dresses. Soojin and Mei got the cutest outfits and solo stans were pissed.

Most of the girls stayed their natural dark hair color, while Yuri was blonde and Minji dyed her hair blonde halfway through the era, saying that the blonde hair in her photocard was a wig.

Oh, this was Minji and Holly’s eras. They just shined really brightly in this one, going viral almost every other day for a fancam or something they did or said.

People gave Minji such backhanded compliments for her lyrics and voice while somehow degrading her to a ‘dumb blonde’. Holly went viral for her Nobody Knows fancam, people stating it was her choreo like she just does it like it was made for her.

As usual, Yuuri went viral for all the wrong things. People took her words a bit too seriously like her We Got Married comment, and her saying their comeback was the best comeback the entire year. Stupid things like that.

Antis didn’t have one thing to complain about Mei this era for, but you know— they still did.

It’s not a GIRL TALK comeback if there’s not at least one dating rumor. This era’s victim was Soojin, what a surprise.

All of the girls went viral for Nobody Knows, multiple fancams of theirs for the song had more than two million views. This brought more attention to them, both bad and good.

Some people thought it was somehow too raunchy …? As Holly said, “They don’t like people showing their ass, I guess.”

Twitter was in hell for Blossoms. Like it was a constant war every day. They had to defend the girls from so many other fandoms, who called them sluts or untalented, etc. You know the works.

They attended Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade in New York and all stops of the iHeartRadio Jingle Ball tour, meeting a few celebrities such as Sabrina Carpenter, Olivis Rodrigo, Doechii, Melanie Martinez, SZA, and more.

GIRL TALK went to AAA, MMA, SMA, GDA, and CCMA. They went home with at least one award every show.

They released their documentary film The Girls Talk on November 30 in select theaters. The girls shed light on past incidents, reminisce together, and even visit their families in the film as a way to go back to their roots after finding stardom. It will be released on YouTube Premium on February 24, 2024.

On midnight January 1st, the girls dropped a music video for 21:29, a thank you gift to them, concluding the Get It era.

[bananaofswifts]

01 - Taylor Swift

No one in the music industry wielded more power over the past year than Taylor Swift, who made history at stadiums, movie theaters and on the Billboard charts, leaving even the most seasoned executives speechless. While they’d long celebrated her staggering popularity as a singer, songwriter and performer, her force as a strategic business leader suddenly came into sharper focus — and industry veterans took notes as they watched some of her bravest and most innovative business risks reap remarkable rewards.

At 34, she is one of the music industry’s most charismatic and influential leaders — and she rewrites the rules.

“The piece of advice I would give to the other executives on this list is that the best ideas are usually ones without industry precedent,” Swift tells Billboard. “The biggest crossroads moments of my career came down to sticking to my instincts when my ideas were looked at with skepticism. When someone says to me, ‘But that has never been done successfully before,’ it fires me up. We have to take strategic risks every day in this industry, but every once in a while, you have to really trust your gut and take a flying leap. My rerecordings are my favorite example of this, and I’m extremely grateful to my team and fans for taking that leap with me because it absolutely changed my life.”

Sage advice for an industry in which instinct has largely been supplanted by metrics and data analysis.

In December, Time named Swift its 2023 Person of the Year. In September, after encouraging her 279 million Instagram followers to vote and linking to vote.org, the nonpartisan nonprofit said it received over 35,000 registrations. She appears on the cover of this issue of Billboard and in the No. 1 spot of our annual Power 100 issue because her force across the business of music is now unparalleled — and because she models commitment to innovation that the rest of the business will need in order to tackle the big challenges ahead.

Swift’s gambles have paid off handsomely over the past year.

Her massive The Eras stadium tour, which began in March after she controversially put all the tickets on sale at once, crashing Ticketmaster and sparking mass hysteria, grossed an estimated $906.1 million in 2023 and is poised to become the highest-grossing global tour of all time before it wraps in December, according to Billboard.

The Golden Globe-nominated Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour film, taped during her six-show run at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, Calif., in August, has grossed over $261.6 million worldwide since its October opening, according to AMC Theatres Entertainment. In January, the publicly traded movie-house chain announced that the film’s box-office take made it the highest-grossing concert/documentary picture ever released, surpassing Michael Jackson’s 2009 This Is It. Once again blazing a new path, Swift made a groundbreaking distribution deal directly with AMC Theaters instead of linking with a film studio.

Swift has shaken up the catalog market, too. When Scooter Braun infuriated her by acquiring the master recordings of her first six albums through his Ithaca Holdings and then sold them to investment firm Shamrock Capital at a profit, Swift rerecorded the albums with loving precision and added bonus tracks to the new releases. They performed phenomenally well, as she deftly used her tour to promote them. When her latest rerecording (and 14th studio album overall), 1989 (Taylor’s Version), spent its fifth week at atop the Billboard 200 at the end of 2023, Swift beat Elvis Presley’s record for the most weeks at No. 1 by a solo artist. Her industry market share last year was 1.72%. If she were her own genre, she’d rank ninth for 2023 — bigger than jazz.

“She’s the smartest artist I’ve ever worked with,” says Messina Touring Group’s Louis Messina, who promotes Swift’s tours and has worked with her since 2005. “She outworks everybody and she has always had this vision. If you’re around her, you can’t help but believe in her.” —Melinda Newman

[brokehorrorfan]

Land of the Dead will be released on 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray on October 15 via Scream Factory. The 2005 zombie film is the fourth installment in George A. Romero's landmark zombie saga, following Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, and Day of the Dead.

Simon Baker, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Asia Argento, Robert Joy, and Eugene Clark star. Genre favorites Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright, Tom Savini, and Greg Nicotero make cameos.

Both the unrated and theatrical cuts have been newly restored in 4K from the original camera negative. The 4K disc features Dolby Vision. Special features are listed below.

Disc 1 - 4K UHD:

Unrated cut (97 minutes)

Audio commentary by writer/director George A. Romero, producer Peter Grunwald, and editor Michael Doherty

Audio commentary by zombie performers Matt Blazi, Glena Chao, Michael Felsher, and Rob Mayr

Disc 2 - Blu-ray:

Unrated cut (97 minutes)

Audio commentary by writer/director George A. Romero, producer Peter Grunwald, and editor Michael Doherty

Audio commentary by zombie performers Matt Blazi, Glena Chao, Michael Felsher, and Rob Mayr

Undead Again: The Making of Land of the Dead

Bringing The Dead To Life

Scenes of Carnage

Zombie Effects: From Green Screen to Finished Scene

Scream Test – CGI test

Bringing the Storyboards to Life

A Day with the Living Dead hosted by John Leguizamo

When Shaun Met George

Disc 3 - Blu-ray:

Theatrical cut (93 minutes)

Interview with actor John Leguizamo

Interview with actor Robert Joy

Interview with actor Pedro Miguel Arce

Four of the Apocalypse – Interview with actors Eugene Clark, Jennifer Baxter, Boyd Banks, and Jasmin Geljo

Dream of the Dead - Documentary with optional commentary by director Roy Frumkes

Deleted footage from Dream of the Dead

Deleted scenes

Theatrical trailer

A new society has been built by a band of ruthless opportunists, who live inside a luxurious skyscraper, high above the less fortunate citizens who must eke out a hard life on the streets below. With the survival of the city at stake, a group of mercenaries is called into action to protect the living from the evolving army of the dead waiting outside the city walls.

Pre-order Land of the Dead.

[rhapsodynew]

The Beatles: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr, Musicians, London, August 11, 1967

Portraits of Richard Avedon "The Beatles"

In August 1967, The Beatles and their band manager Brian Epstein enlisted photographer Richard Avedon to visualize the psychedelic foundations of their groundbreaking eighth studio album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, which debuted a few months earlier. Using color manipulation, Avedon created hallucinatory, Day-Glo portraits of the Liverpool band, filled with symbols of psychedelics, peace and love — John Lennon looks through swirling glasses, Paul McCartney holds flowers, George Harrison is decorated with henna, and Ringo Starr carries a pigeon.

On the set, Avedon also captured peaceful black-and-white portraits of the Liverpool four in simple black shirts, which later became known as the images of the Mount Rushmore group. A year later, Avedon's photographs—along with collectible posters — were simultaneously published in popular magazines around the world, including Look in the USA, The Daily Express in the UK and Stern Magazine in Europe. …

Richard Avedon (eng.

Richard Avedon, May 15, 1923 — October 1, 2004) was an American photographer, a master of documentary and fashion photography.

#music photographer📌

[randgugotur-6]

May 18th 1987 - KISS released the film Kiss Exposed documentary film

KISS Exposed is the 1987 long-form music video released by the American rock band, Kiss. This was the band's second home video release. KISS Exposed is based on an interview with the members of Kiss (almost exclusively Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley) and is interspersed with music videos and live concert clips from throughout Kiss' career, until the album Asylum.

The original idea had been to put together a simple compilation of the promo videos the band had filmed since 1982 but according to interviews with Paul he felt that such a product wasn't right: "The new video, KISS Exposed, came out of the record company wanting to put out a compilation of our videos. And I always see that stuff as a rip-off. In essence, what they are doing is having the public pay the company back for the cost of the videos." Instead, KISS suggested a look behind the scenes/history of the band. According to Len Epand, the executive producer for the video and the senior vice president of music video production at PolyGram, "Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley were responsible for much of the idea and its execution and even came up with the title. […] When we brought the concept to Kiss, they upped the ante by giving us the rights to classic pre-video-age concert cuts from their own archives, from when they still wore make-up". The conceptual footage that tied the promo videos and live clips together was filmed at Gray Hall, a mansion in Beverly Hills, in August 1986.

The première showing of the completed product was at Billboard’s Eighth Annual Video Music Conference on November 20–22, 1986. It was described as "an original music/comedy/docu-drama".lFinal post-production work was undertaken in December 1986 at Sync Sound in New York for a January 1987 release. "Kiss have[has] now finished work on a 90-minute video package which they plan to issue worldwide in January ’87". However, this release date was soon pushed to March, something Gene and Paul referenced when they were guest VJs at MTV in January 1987. This March release date explains why KISS Exposed was listed as a new release in several US newspapers in mid-to-late March.

However, PolyGram pushed the release even further and it was eventually released on May 18. 1987. Whether or not it was the reason for the delays, Billboard wrote that PolyGram was "timing the videocassette […] to coincide with the compact disk release of the remainder of the Kiss catalog". Regardless of the reason for the moving release date it worked to drum up interest. According to an ad placed in Billboard in mid-April the video was set to ship gold (25,000 units) but the veracity of that early ad might be questioned. In an interview slightly closer to the actual release date representatives for PolyGram said that pre-orders were "approaching 25,000". (RIAA certification thresholds for long-form video have changed since the late 80s, in 1987 gold was 25,000 units and platinum was 50,000 units.] It was certified for gold status on July 23, 1987, and later platinum on October 1, 1987. Certifications always lag (and have to be asked for by the releasing label) and sales over 50,000 were reported long before the actual certification. In late 1988 Len Epand would claim sales approaching 90,000.

A follow-up was planned and almost 5 hours of footage was filmed during the first week of Hot in the Shade Tour, but it was shelved for unknown reasons. The footage leaked to the bootleg circuit and is called "eXposed II".