#Obviously Jinx is bi

[possiblyghostface]

[lady-griffin]

I'm curious, what are some of your favorite Timebomb headcanons?

I’m so sorry for this beyond late response; I really don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry.

I know my answer isn’t going to be “worth the wait,” but I still hope you (and others) find it interesting. Please bear with me and my somewhat incoherent thoughts as my love for these two has destroyed my brain.

Also, my answer is beyond long, but that shouldn't be a surprise to anyone.

My Favorite Timebomb Headcanons

They’re both bi.

-

They’re always touching one another. Not so much in an inappropriate way (though they can get too handsy in public); this is more holding hands, cuddling, using each other as a cushion, etc.

When they’re bored or preoccupied, they'll start “fidgeting” - Ekko plays with Jinx’s hair, while Jinx plays with Ekko's hands.

-

Jinx doodles on Ekko pretty much all the time, while Ekko straight up writes on Jinx - specifically notes and reminders to himself.

Basically, Ekko will already be in bed and suddenly he'll get idea for a project but doesn’t want to get up or he suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night and has to immediately write down his thoughts before he forgets them and well, Jinx is right there.

Jinx honestly only minds this when Ekko won’t let her wash off because he needs to figure out what he meant when he wrote down “hextech cheese sandwich solution to dogs” at 3am and obviously it being her on her left shoulder is essential to figuring it all out.

-

Jinx bites. Not so much in a sexy, bedroom kind of way (though yes, obviously that too); she just sees Ekko and has to go chomp.

-

Ekko is slightly insecure about his height, which makes zero sense to Jinx. Seriously, what is he even talking about? Ekko is the perfect height – he’s within reach of her kisses (and bites).

-

Jinx really, really, really loves Ekko’s arms and hands.

His whole everything does it for her; but boy, oh boy, does she have a thing for his arms and hands, especially his hands. The amount of self-control Jinx has when it comes to Ekko’s hands is truly something to behold.

-

Jinx runs cold while Ekko runs hot.

Jinx always wants to cuddle with Ekko in the winter because he’s her personal space heater and Ekko always wants to cuddle with Jinx in the summer because she’s a living ice cube. The two of them like to complain, but they're not fooling anyone; they love every second of the other clinging on to them.

OR

Jinx runs hot while Ekko runs cold.

Jinx gets uncomfortably warm, so she really enjoys being cold. Unfortunately, that’s quite rare for her nowadays due to her body producing its own shimmer; her body temperature is now basically someone with a deadly fever.

Ekko on the other hand easily gets cold and he absolutely hates it; so, he's not exactly mad at Jinx becoming a living furnace.

I’m honestly torn between these two versions and the vibes vs. 'evidence' backing them up. But does it really matter? At the end of the day one of them runs cold while the other runs hot and they balance each other out perfectly.

-

The Firelight’s truly love Ekko; they're beyond thankful to him and everything he's done for them. So, despite the fact that many of them hate Jinx and want nothing more than for her to be gone (dead), they are willing to accept her because Ekko loves her.

Some of them will never forgive nor make peace with Jinx, but they’re willing to coexist with her; while others are willing to get to know her and even befriend her.

It’s not easy for any of them but for Ekko, they'll do it and as time goes on it becomes less of a struggle to accept Jinx.

I’m a huge fan of Jinx being accepted by the Firelights not because they actually accept her (at least at first) nor because they’re such wonderful, good people, but because they love Ekko. He’s their savior and guiding light and they want him to be happy and Jinx makes him happy - so, of course they'll do it.

-

Jinx absolutely has a praise kink; she adores being praised and complimented in bed and Ekko has no problem indulging her.

I don’t have a single doubt about this. This is just fact.

-

Despite being so gone for each other, they both have a lot of insecurities, particularly when it comes to the others’ feelings and commitment to the relationship.

Ekko is scared he’s just a convenience for Jinx and she’ll easily abandon him again; while Jinx is scared Ekko’s going to realize he doesn’t actually want to be with her, because why would he.

To make things a bit more heartbreaking, Jinx sometimes wonders if Ekko is only with her because she’s the closest thing to “Powder” he can be with.

They have a lot of issues and it took them many years to work through them; but those issues and insecurities still make an appearance from time for time.

-

Ekko isn’t always great at taking care of himself; he’s always putting others first and he’s easily consumed by his projects and responsibilities.

But taking care of Jinx forces him to take care of himself.

He can’t argue she should go to bed at a reasonable hour, when he’s up at the same godforsaken hour she is nor can he complain about her eating unhealthily, when he’s eating the exact same thing or something worse.

-

Ekko is always running late; while Jinx (to many people’s surprise) is either on time or very early. When the two of them arrive late together, it’s because Jinx didn’t want to go to the thing and she succeeded in distracting Ekko (usually with sex).

-

Being together was one of the easiest things for them as their two pieces who fit perfectly together; at the exact same time though it was also the most difficult thing for them, due to their history.

Ekko has struggled with his feelings of guilt because it was so easy for him to be with Jinx and love her; he feels like he’s betraying his fallen friends and people. Jinx is responsible for many of their deaths and even when she wasn’t directly responsible, she still benefited as Silco’s daughter.  

Jinx has struggled with feeling like she’s betraying Silco and rejecting their bond as she doesn't talk about him for the sake of her relationship with Ekko. She can’t talk about Silco with Ekko at all, because anything negative about him (no matter how small) only confirms to Ekko she was abused and brainwashed; while anything positive or even neutral is like "attacking" Ekko and everything he's gone through.

Silco was the reason Jinx was happy and able to be thrive over the years and he's the reason why Ekko suffered and struggled to survive during those same years.

While they never truly come to terms about Silco, they still try and make an effort to respect the other’s feelings for him.

-

Gift giving is a huge part of how Jinx shows her love. She doesn't need a special occasion or reason to give Ekko gifts and she likes leaving them where he can come across them randomly. Her presents can be anything - from a cool rock she found to a specific piece of machinery Ekko wanted.

Oh and of course, a beyond valuable item she stole from some elitist Piltovan or vicious Chem-Baron who is more than willing to start a war over their stolen property.

Ekko knows she means well (at least he thinks she does); but he would appreciate it if she didn’t bring him and the Firelights more trouble with her gifts.

Which Jinx doesn’t fully understand.

It’s not that she doesn’t understand the value of things; but a cool looking rock and some wealthy Piltovan’s prized heirloom have the exact same value to her – she thought Ekko would like it, so why wouldn't she get it for him?

-

These two can be so beyond competitive it’s not even funny and nothing brings out their unhinged competitiveness than when they’re up against each other.

But they’re having fun and that’s all that matters in the end... ignore all the property damage and fires.

-

Sometimes when things get heated between them, Jinx gets a red blotchiness on her neck and chest; which she's more than embarrassed by. Ekko on the other hand tries to see if he can make her even redder and he’s more than smug when he can.

-

Ekko wasn’t always a great boyfriend to his previous partners, not because he was an uncaring asshole or anything but because he never opened up to them. He never shared his problems nor did he let them take care of him; he was always the caretaker. It also didn’t help that he put his responsibilities as leader and other people before his relationships.

However, this isn’t a problem with Jinx. Ekko is quite selfish when it comes to their relationship. He’s not willing to put others’ first. Not this time. Not if it costs him Jinx.

Jinx also knows him far better than his previous partners did, she sees past the front he puts up for others and is more than willing to call him out on his bullshit. Plus, Jinx is in no way shy when it comes to her wants.

Ekko has also learned that if he doesn't rely on her, she has no reason to rely on him. If he doesn't trust her, then she doesn't trust him.

Finally, Jinx tries to get Ekko to be more selfish, while this is for her own benefit (obviously), she genuinely wants Ekko to put himself first; she’s even willing to put herself second (at times), if that’s what it takes.

-

Over the years they balance each other out – Jinx makes Ekko more selfish and gives him the freedom to put himself first without feeling guilty, while Ekko makes Jinx less selfish and he's a good starting point for her to become more considerate to others.

Of course, Ekko will never be a selfish bastard who turns his back on his people and Jinx will never be a living saint who sacrifices herself for the greater good.

-

Ekko usually takes the lead in the bedroom. He loves riling Jinx up and embarrassing her in bed; he’s particularly obsessed with getting her to beg him to keep going,

However, it doesn’t take much for Jinx to ‘turn the tables' on him; her ‘begging him' is a sure-fire way to get Ekko to unravel quickly, which Jinx is more than willing to exploit for her own fun and pleasure.

-

Ekko accidently taught their kid(s) how to curse.

-

They’re packrats.

These two are very attached to their things and and look they might need that random useless thing one day, you don’t know, they obviously can’t throw it out.

-

Jinx is very honest with their kid(s).

She doesn’t lie nor try to hide who she is nor who she was and what she’s done. Silco was always forthright with her; Jinx knew exactly who Silco was and loved him all the same and she wants the same for herself (Silco wouldn’t have accepted anything less for her).

She doesn’t want her child(ren) to love a fake version of herself; she wants them to know and love the real Jinx – monster and all.

-

I honestly don’t think a threesome would be possible for these two; they’re way too jealous and obsessed with each other to let a third party involved. Especially Jinx.

Let’s be real, she would absolutely kill someone for touching her Ekko or if Ekko touched them she would 100% have the logic of “they can’t steal my Ekko if they’re dead.”

Now Ekko will never be as bad as Jinx (very few people can reach our girl’s levels) but I easily see him being like “No. Go Away. My Jinx.”

-

I’m torn between Ekko being concerned by how much he finds Jinx’s unhinged jealousy, possessiveness, and intense (creepy) expressions of love to be charming and beyond endearing; or if he honestly doesn’t understand why people are weirded out and concern for his safety when Jinx says she wants to rip out his heart and feast upon it.

I hope you all enjoyed this insanely long list and maybe even accept a few of these headcanons as your own.

Thank you for reading this and thank you for the ask @nerdasaurus1200 and again, I'm so sorry for the years long wait.

[youcouldmakealife]

What’s Coming in 2023

Happy holidays, all! I’m not actually here (am being Festive with family) but in the final days of 2022 I’ll have the annual writing and reading wrap-ups, will gather all the stories of the week/month for AO3 (at long last!) and may even have one last story of the year (depending on Festivities).

But first, 2023 is shaping up to be a bit of an eventful year in series, so here’s a bit of an overview of what’s coming (and going!)

First, on the publishing front:

Between the Teeth

I am genuinely afraid to specify further than 'Coming 2023' because I'm bad enough with publishing deadlines without the Ongoing Medical Things. So: coming 2023.

The extras and the stories of the week will begin in January(!). More to come on that shortly, but can let you know now that extras will be on a weekly basis (Thursdays), stories of the week (and updates) on on a bi-weekly basis: the first, third (and occasionally fifth) Monday of the month

A hard copy edition of Thrown Off the Ice in English and Italian(!!!)

On the series front:

What's coming to a close:

The End of ScratchnMoney(’s series. Obviously they are literally inseperable). Winter 2023 (the early one). It's imminent and defined (pt 60 will be the last). This will likely be in January, February the latest.

The end of Bryce and Jared (who knows, whenever Bryce lets me I guess. But 2023!!)

What's coming on the horizon:

TWO dual POV series. TWO!

The Start of Holden and James. Once again, for the umpteenth time, I am attempting hate sex. Whether I will succeed remains to be seen, but I refuse to give up after my failures with David and Jake. And Robbie and Georgie. And Bryce and Jared. And -- I'M TRYING AGAIN, OKAY. 

The start of Brandon and Milan. Fully admit that no hatesex is occurring with this one despite the rivalry, but shenanigans will, and there is no one better to replace the Kansas City Scouts on the docket than the Philadelphia Flyers feat. GRITTY. This one will likely both begin and end in 2023 but I'm not going to jinx myself by saying as much (too late). It will be SHORT. Or at least I will TRY.

What's neither coming nor going:

Georgie(&Robbie) continues. It'll be a new arc starting pretty much...now (following next part), so consider it both an end and a start! And the only series I will not begin/do not anticipate completing in 2023

[murasaki-cha]

Well in honor of Bisexual Visibility Day, what are some things you noticed about yourself that were so obviously bi after figuring out your bisexual? I'll go first:

I had the biggest freaking crushes on Mai from Yu-Gi-Oh when I was like 6 or 7 and Jinx from LoL when I was like 9 or 10. Actually the Jinx one was so obvious because I begged my cousins to pick Jinx during a match like 15 times a day and blasted Get Jinxed all day long. I was down bad

I listen to Katy Perry and Taylor Swift a LOT lot (sorry I'm not that much of a swiftie now I'm a failure)

Whenever a kiss scene happened on the screen I wasn't embarrassed because the man kissed the woman but because both of them were kissing and I didn't know where to focus

I thought imagining getting into a romantic relationship with my female friends was normal

Once I said to a friend that I loved Jennie from BlackPink so much that I would totally go gay for her and she looked at me weirdly and told me that isn't really normal. I thought about it for like a solid 5 minutes and than ignored it

Being attracted to women in general but I always convinced myself that I couldn't possibly be bi because I'm more attracted to men (it took me a very long time to figure out that bisexuals can feel different amounts of affection and attraction for different genders)

I always did the bisexual sitting pose and bisexual hand signs

These are just some stuff that I can think of right now. Happy being bi and being a disaster 🩷💜💙

[razorsadness]

Last week started out pretty well. I got a lot of work (paid day-job stuff) done; took my kids to the library for therapy dog reading time, took them to the park to birdwatch (we saw so many woodpeckers, both downy and red-bellied). I took a lot of walks and wrote a lot and read a lot.

C. and I had a sweet discussion about relationships. He asked me if he could have a girlfriend and I said that one day, when he’s older, and he meets a girl he’s into who’s into him, he can have a girlfriend. Then I said that he’s a long way off from dating, though, and that in the meantime he just needed to make friends with people, girls and boys. He said “okay,” paused, then said: “Does that mean I can have a girlfriend and a boyfriend someday?!” I said: “If you want to, then absolutely.” But internally I was screaming: “Oh my god, he’s gonna be bi and poly!!!!” Obviously I know that kids say and do all kinds of things that have no bearing on their identity or life, but it still made me smile. Later on that day, he said he wanted Spider-Man to be his boyfriend someday, which was also super cute. (And of course made me think of both the Bi-Der Man meme, and Andrew Garfield saying he’d wanted to play Spider-Man/Peter Parker as bi.)

There was one day when C. seemed like maybe he was coming down with something, and I got a little worried, but then he seemed fine, so I thought it was just a fluke.

Friday morning, I woke up feeling good. I thought P. and I would finally be able to fuck that night (we hadn’t had sex in a week and a half; first he had a backache, then I had some genital irritation which I did not want to make worse). But then C. was acting really weird, like saying he needed a nap after only being awake for two hours, and his eyes looked really glassy, and his forehead felt warm. I checked his temperature, and sure enough, it was slightly elevated. He only got worse from there.

Well, whatever he had has since made its way through the everyone in the house. It’s not CoViD. We’ve taken multiple CoViD tests over the course of the past four days, and all of them have been negative. I know antigen tests aren’t as reliable as PCR tests, but last April when we did have CoViD, the tests showed positive as soon as we were symptomatic. Plus, with CoViD I had insane body aches, fatigue, and brain fog, and have had none of that with this virus. (Well, not much. There’s always a little fatigue with any virus, but this is nothing compared to CoViD fatigue.) But we’re treating it basically the same way, anyway. Quarantining, resting as much as possible, megadosing on vitamins.

The first few days after we started coming down with it, P. and I felt pretty good, and we said: “Oh, maybe we got really mild cases!” I guess we jinxed it, because as of Monday evening, it got a lot worse for both of us. Still not the sickest I’ve ever been, but it’s no fun.

Worst parts of the past five days:

I had to pass on a really well-paying freelance gig, because the deadline was the end of this week, and I knew I’d be too sick to do it well, and taking care of sick kiddos on top of it so I wouldn’t have the time.

Obviously, P. and I have not gotten to have sex. It’s been over two weeks now! I know in the grand scheme of things that’s not a long time, but for us, it kinda is.

The being sick itself. All the phlegm and snot, oh my fucking god. It is endless.

My nose is chapped! My lips are chapped!

Not being able to keep my house clean/picked up. I’m not a clean or neat freak, but in recent months I’ve realized I do better if we keep up a baseline of organization and cleanliness, and we’ve been staying pretty on top of it. But this week, what with being sick, we’ve done dishes and laundry as needed, plus general wiping down of surfaces with disinfectant, and everything else has fallen by the wayside.

I am so fucking tired. Not like, fatigue-tired, but like, I haven’t been sleeping well despite my best intentions. Because either the kids keep me up half the night so I can tend to their ailments, or I just can’t sleep because I’m either blowing my nose or spitting out phlegm every two seconds. And last night was the full moon, and I can never sleep when it’s a full moon, sick or no.

I started feeling bad about my Career and my Life and Myself, thinking: “Ugh, I’m a failure at everything and I’m old and hideous and everything is terrible now and is gonna be terrible forever.” Fortunately, I nipped it in the bud quickly, remembering that I always get depressed about myself/my life when I’m sick, and that it is not the right time to be taking stock of anything.

Best parts of the past five days:

On Sunday, when I still thought this might be a mild cold, I was able to attend the Four Queens online writing workshop. I wrote some stuff, and got lots of great ideas for current and future projects. And I just really liked what Mathias had to say about attention and astonishment.

I’ve been taking Mathias’ words to heart. Even as I’ve been sick, I’ve been taking time every day to step outside or at least look outside, or even look at something inside, and pay deep attention and feel astonished, and that’s led to even more lists and ideas and scraps; more mulch for future writings.

I’ve been spending as much of my time as possible reading books or watching videos and films. And basically everything I’ve been watching and reading has been by and/or about queer and trans folks. Books I’ve read: A Minor Chorus by Billy-Ray Belcourt, Feral City by Jeremiah Moss, and IRL by Tommy Pico. Things I’ve watched: The film of Abigail Thorn’s play The Prince, Chris McKim’s documentary Wojnarowicz: Fuck You Faggot Fucker, and Caelan Conrad and Jessie Gender’s newest video essays on YouTube. I highly recommend all of it.

I’ve been drinking a lot of tea. I’ve been mostly foregoing cold medicine and having a hot toddy every evening instead. When I have tried the cold meds they just haven’t helped very much, or not enough anyway, and I find that a good hot toddy helps just as much. Plus, hot toddies taste better and are more enjoyable than cold meds. And there’s no way I’m gonna take cold meds and drink at the same time. Twenty years ago, back when I used to take severe liver damage may occur as less of a warning, more of a challenge? Sure, I mixed meds and booze. But back then I simultaneously still hoped to/thought I would die young, and also kinda thought I was fuckin’ invincible. Now I’m (comparatively) old and would like to live a lot longer, thank you, so I’m not going to risk it.

Today I made myself ramen for lunch—just instant ramen, but I tried this technique I learned that makes it taste better, and also added chopped scallions, a splash of soy sauce and a splash of chili oil, and I topped it with a fried egg. Then I took a long, hot aromatherapy bubble bath. Then I drank tonight’s hot toddy, and cooked dinner while listening to my favorite radio station. Every year on International Women’s Day they play only women/women-fronted bands and artists all day. The DJ tonight did a whole block (two songs each) of Alanis Morissette followed by Garbage followed by Ani DiFranco, and it was like, holy flashback to middle school thru early college, Batman! (I mean that in the best possible sense.) Then we changed the sheets on all the beds, and now I’m lying in bed, finishing this entry, and feeling better than I’ve felt since Monday. I’m cautiously optimistic that I’m actually on the mend.

Other things: 

Saturn has moved into Pisces, and it’s intense.

I have a wee little crush on someone. They are currently On The Road, and I’ve been looking up photos of places they’re currently in. I realized that this is actually fairly common for me. Be it friend, family, crush, lover, acquaintance even…if I am thinking of someone who lives away from me, and/or is traveling, I look up photographs of where they currently are. It’s sort of a way to see what they’re seeing, maybe in that way sort of feel what they’re feeling. And it’s sort of the opposite of a postcard. A postcard is sending someone a piece of where you are, saying wish you were here. This thing I do is finding a piece of where someone I care for is, thinking wish I was there.

I was thinking about K. the other day. Sent her a message to say I think of her often, and I hope she’s well. She has not responded, and I’m not surprised nor do I blame her. For three years, she tried so so hard to be close with me, and I really didn’t let her in. I wanted to, but I was also afraid, and there were several other factors. And she eventually gave up. And, as I said, I don’t blame her. I send her messages a few times a year, to let her know I still think of her. I wish she’d respond, but at this point in my life I’d rather have people know I care even if they don’t reciprocate.

We’re hunkering down for a winter storm that’s due within the next couple days. I want it to be spring, but despite the returning birds and the daffodil shoots, it’s still officially winter for the next two weeks.

[cro-official]

jedenfalls.

Ich schreib jz ne fic die praktisch bibi int tina 2 ist mit denen von yj

lottie ist bibi wegen idk übernatürlichen Zeug (hauptsächlich weils lottienat wird)

nat is tarik (gleicher grund ABER es passt voll gut einfach weil 1. kein vater 2. mutter in der reha 3. wohnwagen?? amazing.

tina ist shauna weil we stan lottieshauna und weil:

alex ist jackie weil jackieshauna ist mein leben fr

misty ist greta müller wegen diesem detektiv dings in dem sie ist (als erwachsene obviously) aber graf falco bleibt er selbst weil bruder den kann man nicht ersetzen. unc ich will wissen wie er und misty sind ich hoff ich kann das irgendwie gut schreiben. er ist aber jackies onkel nicht vater bei dem sie irgendwie wohnt Idk

susanne ist deborah shipman aber glaub holga gibt's nicht (jedenfalls bis jz)

hab dagobert archibald genannt wegen dem vibe ich glaub das passt so

uhh wahrscheinlich werden travis/javi nats geschwister weil sie braucht welche lol und Ka wen ich sonst nehmen soll?? will nicht ZU viele ocs haben so

van is freddie und Sophia (von gelenberg) ist Tai (die sind hier zsm schon) aber eher so am rande 1. weil ich die haben will (taivan slayt) und 2. vllt schrieb ich den ersten Teil noch irgendwann auch wenn ich Ka hab wie ich tai/Jackie schreiben soll aber well

ANYWAYS this will be. Lottie & Shauna:totally jinxed

[nahee-dolove]

If they kill off Soo-kwang i will be pissed off. Let the guy have a happy ending.

[lovedlovingly]

Since it's almost 6am and I still can't sleep because pain I'm gonna post my fave skins for each lgbt character uwu😇

Rell only has one since she's about to be released but oh well

Bonus:

Graves and Twisted Fate in the same splash art 👀 couple ingame goals!!

[silverstarssart]

The Potatoes Trick-Or-Treating

Aru Shah Characters Trick-Or-Treating:

—Aru made everyone dress up in the weirdest costumes.

—Aru herself is dressed as Jinx. Is constantly screeching Enemy at the top of her lungs, and pretends to shoot people.

—Aiden is Batman. Not by his choice though.

—“Well there’s no need to be BRUCE-ly (Broody), Batman.”

—“Aru please stop.”

—Rudy is Robin of course. And enjoying it all a little to much.

—“You go and get candy from complete strangers, get terrified by cheep props, and scream for no reason? And it’s LEGAL?! I LOVE THE HUMAN WORLD!!”

—Mini is Sailor Moon, and is constantly being praised by Rudy.

—“My dark benevolent queen is HERE PEOPLE!! Bow down!! Look AT HER, SHE’S MAGNIFICENT!!”

—Mini thinks it’s adorable and cannot stop smiling at her sweet dork.

—Brynne is dressed as Catra.

—“MY EYES ARE THE ONLY HETERO THING ABOUT ME LOSERS—“

—Hira is Amity from the Owl House. Green hair and all.

—Brynne cannot stop staring at her. Her cheeks are the color of freaking tomatoes.

—“Brynne your bi is showing.” “Shut up, Shah.”

—Brynne got revenge when Aru first saw Aiden as Batman.

—“Who’s blushing NOW Shah?”

—Sheela is Rainbow Dash, of course.

—“WHOOOOOOOOOO I CAN FLY!!”

—Nikita is Isabela Madrigal, she made the dress herself, obviously. And is blasting the playlist to a scary degree.

—“A hurricane of jacarandas—“

—Brynne starts jamming to Surface Pressure because she relates to it to a scary degree.

—Kara is Zuko, and absolutely plays up the emo aspect.

—“I cannot sleep, I must find the AVATAR!!”

“—Strangling figs, hanging vines!—“

—Basically annoying the hell out of everyone else who are trick-or-treating and eating to much candy.

—Rudy throws up later, Mini plays doctor.

—“WE DON’T TALK ABOUT BRUNO NO NO NO!!”

—“SHUT UP NIKKI WE’RE TRYING TO SLEEP!”

[whoneedscoffeeanyway]

You will be okay~

(Arcane modern au)

Summary: jinx comes out to silco about being bi, it goes well.

CW: none really, just very fluffy and a dad reassuring his daughter while she comes out. Also modern au.

A/n: I wanna make it clear that I fully understand that sexuality doesn't technically exist in arcane. Basically in a world full of monsters and magic no one really cares about who dates who or who you feel attracted to or whether you have any form of attraction in the first place. So I made it a modern au so it doesn't conflict with lore.

Jinx was insanely nervous as she slowly made her way up the steps, getting ever closer to the door of her adopted father's office.

She couldn't shake the feeling of getting in trouble and being sent to the principal's office for her punishment.

But this was it. she was going to tell him. She was finally gonna tell him after almost three years of her knowing and not having the nerve to tell her father.

Her mind raced with all the ways this could go wrong. She imagined him looking disgusted and yelling at her, or just plain ignoring her and telling her it wasn't a thing. That being bi was made up by delusionist.

She finally got to the door and never felt more pressure in her life. But this had to happen, she couldn't hide it forever. She has a girlfriend he doesn't even know about and it's killing her. But this was it, he's finally gonna know...

Dear God this is scary.

Jinx slowly opened the ornate wooden door, peaking her head in allowing her braids to hang down and touch the floor. Her father looked up from his paperwork, his eye patch laying down on the desk.

"what is it jinx, is something wrong?"

He asked seeing the obviously stressed out look on jinx's face. He could always read her like that.

"um...no not exactly." {Just say it you coward}

Silco continued to look at her, waiting patiently for her to continue. He couldn't help but wonder what she was trying to say.

Jinx gulped

{okay jinx now's the time to start talking}

She fought herself, fear was holding her lips shut but her words broke through.

"dad, im- I'm bisexual, and I have known for a while"

"oh, that's nice, for a second I thought you killed someone." He said in his usual straight faced sarcasm.

"Wait, you're not mad at me!?" She genuinely didn't know what to think. She was happy for sure and more than relieved, but his reaction was so nonchalant it genuinely threw her off.

"of course I'm not mad, why would I? You don't seem to have a problem with it." He said, again with a straight, yet sarcastic, face.

Jinx felt tears run down her face her father beginning to panic thinking he said the wrong thing until she lunged at him wrapping her arms around him and squeezing the air out of him.

Silco Simply held her back and spoke "I take it you've been hiding it from me for a while" jinx wipes her tears and replied "heh, yeah sorry…I was just scared youd-"

silco cut her off "you need not apologize my dear, I should be apologizing. You shouldn't have to feel like you need to hide something like this from me, and for that I can't forgive myself."

Jinx smiled "nah don't stress about it, I'm just happy you're cool with it."

"alsooooooo...."

Silco looked at her with an expression that can only be described by the words that came after "what did you do?"

Jinx exclaimed "WHA- nothing! I uh...have a girlfriend..." She could feel the parental instincts kick in as he entered protective dad mode.

"I don't have a problem with her as long as she makes you happy. But if she makes you *unhappy* just let me know. No one will find her corpse-"

"DAD!!" "What I'm kidding, I'm sure she's nice."

They both laughed, with noticeable difference in audio of course.

"don't worry lux is the best, you'll see when you meet her" she assured her father, whose face hadn't changed since she got here.

"can't wait, I'll have the cook make dinner"

Jinx couldn't be happier with the outcome. Of all the ones she thought of, this one was absolutely perfect. Even if silco can't stop giving her gf the death stare.

[destielreboot]

Something Worth Celebrating

Summary: Dean’s tired of Cas not understanding his not-so-subtle hints that he’s in love with him, so panics his way through using a movie to make his point clear, as if that makes any more sense.

Words: ~3.8k

Read on AO3

Dean never really celebrated his birthday, not in any way that mattered. It was a date that marked him maybe surviving another year, and he figured it couldn’t be all that accurate a marker anymore given that he’d died so many times. Was he supposed to subtract the four months in Hell? Was his birthday now after Sam’s? None of it mattered much, and he was not about to accidentally jinx himself or something by celebrating an arbitrary day. Instead, he grumbled all the way home about the snow and salted roads being bad for Baby, then immediately went to his room and started flipping through his movie collection with the hope a new case wouldn’t come in for at least a few hours.

“Dean?” Cas knocked once and swung the door halfway open. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to find something to watch. I figure I deserve a bit of R&R after the week we’ve had.”

“Of course. Ghouls are never particularly pleasant, although the hunt went well, all things considered.”

“Hell of a lot better than the last one. You stickin’ around for a while?”

“I have no plans to leave.”

Dean looked back down at the drawer full of DVDs and smiled softly. “Good. It’s nice to have you here.”

“Dean? Can I… watch the movie with you?”

“Uh, yeah, as you wish.”

Dean’s hands shook slightly as he picked up a DVD case. It was dumb—so recklessly stupid—and if it didn’t work out, he’d have to live with that, but Cas hadn’t said a word about the mixtape. Not a damn thing about something he’d spent hours anxiously perfecting. Odds were good this would go over his head as well, but hey, at least they were spending time together. And not even Cas would leave during a movie unless there was an emergency, right?

“What are we watching?” Cas timidly sat on the edge of Dean’s bed, the usual comfort level gone as this was Dean’s space, and Cas had become nothing if not respectful of that boundary.

“A classic from my childhood.”

“It’s designed for children?” Cas narrowed his eyes and frowned.

“No, it’s—it’s about… pirates and thieves, sacrifice, rewriting destiny—” The words slipped out of their own volition, as they weren’t quite true, but then again, Dean wasn’t solely focused on the plot of the film. “Um, it’s about overcoming evil forces, fighting for those you care about, and outsmarting the enemy.”

“No cowboys?”

“No cowboys,” Dean chuckled as he put The Princess Bride into the DVD player. He plopped down onto the bed and kicked his feet up, instinctively patting the place next to him so Cas wouldn’t stay perched on the edge. “Settle in, I think you’re gonna like this one.”

Cas inched closer, far too conscious of Dean’s repeated complaints about lack of personal space to get close, but he let himself relax slightly as the movie started.

“This time period is inconsistent with most pirate-centric media. Dean, what does this ill child have to do with the plot you described?”

“Shh, just watch.”

Cas begrudgingly obliged, although biting his tongue was never his strong suit. He’d joined Dean for enough movie nights to know his questions would not be answered, and silence was the preferred initial viewing state—aside from laughter, that is; the uproarious joy that bellowed from his best friend never failed to elicit a smile from the angel.

The first few times he heard Westley say “As you wish” seemed inconsequential, as Dean had been incessantly quoting movies at him for years, and it wasn’t difficult to see why he would relate to this roguish character. He was vaguely aware of Dean glancing back and forth between him and the screen, no doubt to make sure he was paying attention, a task that would be much easier if he didn’t feel Dean’s eyes on him quite so often.

For the most part, Cas did well at keeping quiet, though certain absurdities in the movie had him itching to ask questions.

“What is the point of her throwing herself down this hill? I understand that it’s too steep for comfortable walking, but there has to be a more convenient way to reach the bottom.”

“I guess it’s supposed to be sort of romantic?” Dean shrugged. “She’s just been reunited with Westley after believing he’d died; she doesn’t want to waste time getting to him.”

“Hmm.” Cas looked pensively at Dean for a moment, then turned back to the tv with a hint of a smile.

“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while,” Westley declared.

“Do you believe in the existence of true love, Dean?” Cas asked innocently.

“I—uh—um—I’m gonna go grab a drink,” Dean stammered. He did his best to nonchalantly leave the room, an action made far more difficult by his pounding heart. Once safely in the hallway, his pace quickened dramatically. If he was going to have a panic attack, it’d be away from prying eyes. Jack may have been at Jody and Donna’s, but Sam was home—he couldn’t see him like this. Diverting his path, he headed for the Dean Cave instead and sunk into one of the recliners.

He knew it was stupid to be panicking over something so small, but this was the closest he’d ever come to outright stating how he felt, and it was scary, goddammit. Growing up, he would’ve been beaten for even entertaining the idea—John didn’t raise no goddamn fruit—and that intense unease had settled itself into his very being, become a core tenet of his identity. Undoing several decades of damage was more difficult than he’d ever imagined, but fucking hell, he wanted to try.

It took longer than he’d hoped for his breathing to return to normal, which amped up the fear that Cas would come looking for him, and he realized on his way to the kitchen that he’d probably need an excuse. He grabbed a couple beers out of the fridge—maybe Cas would drink one, maybe Dean would end up chugging both—and turned to go back before thinking better of it. He pulled some popcorn out of the pantry and tossed it in the microwave, hoping Cas wouldn’t know how quickly it cooked. Once it was done, Dean took a few deep breaths to steady himself, dumped the popcorn into a bowl, and walked as calmly as possible back to his room.

Coming back with a snack seemed to somewhat assuage Cas’s concern for Dean having been gone so long, but Dean could tell he would be asked about it later.

“You missed the Fire Swamp and something called the Pit of Despair? I can’t find much validity in the mechanics of the machine, although the concept is interesting. Taking time off the end of life, which is by its very nature uncertain, rather than reducing to a set number of years.”

“Try not to think about it too hard.” Dean smirked, holding out the second beer as he settled in. Cas habitually accepted the offer, even though everything tasted like molecules. He didn’t mind too much; partaking always seemed to make Dean happy, a sight Cas didn’t see nearly enough.

“I agree with the pestering child on this one, killing off the hero of the story this early makes no sense. Unless, of course, they live in a world like ours? Is there someone who can return his soul to his physical form, as I did with you?”

Dean choked on the handful of popcorn he’d just stuffed in his mouth. Cas looked on, worried, as Dean coughed and took a swig of his beer.

“Uh, no, nothing like that… They’ll, uh, they’ll explain it.”

“Hmm. Are you alright, Dean? You seem… preoccupied.”

“What? I’m fine.” He picked up the bowl and held it out. “Popcorn?”

“Dean.” Cas took it from him and set it further down the bed as he pivoted to face Dean, sliding a bent leg across the blanket between them.

Dean made a show of rolling his eyes. “I said I’m fine, Cas. You’re missing Billy Crystal.”

“We could pause the movie, if you’d like. Ordinarily I wouldn’t push—”

Dean snorted. “Yeah, sure. Can we just… not do this right now?” He raised his hands in resignation and let them drop without looking, one landing on the outside of his left thigh, the other on Cas’s knee.

Dean immediately felt heat rush to his cheeks as they stared at each other, unmoving, for an undetermined amount of time. He was vaguely aware of the Miracle Max scene happening in the background, containing yet another discussion of true love, and he prayed Cas wasn’t paying attention. This had to happen now?

“Dean?” Cas asked softly, finally breaking the silence enveloping them despite the continuing movie, which was obviously oblivious to the quiet scene of bi panic unfolding in front of the screen. “You seem uncomfortable and in distress. Can I—”

“I’m fine!” Dean responded a little too loudly, too quickly. He jerked his hand back, unconsciously clenching and unclenching his fist, his thumb rubbing over his fingertips, as if trying to force the feeling of touching Cas’s knee into his memory.

Cas continued to fix him with that concerned gaze he was all too familiar with, so he downed the rest of his beer as a distraction. Out of the corner of his eye, he swore he saw Cas run his own fingers over his leg exactly where Dean’s hand had been, but surely it was out of discomfort, right? Friendly pats on the back and occasionally the knee were common enough, but accidental lingering touches? Not so much.

“I need a refill. You?” Dean asked, although he didn’t wait for an answer, once again quickly making his way down the hall.

“Dude, are you okay?”

Dean just about dropped his empty bottle, having not noticed Sam seated at the kitchen table with some sort of preposterously healthy grain bowl in front of him.

“Will everyone stop asking me that?” he huffed, his free hand on his chest. “I’m fine.” He set the bottle on the island and pulled the fridge open. They were down to their last few beers, and, simultaneously thinking too much and not enough, Dean turned around to search for something stronger instead.

“Don’t bullshit me.” Sam gave Dean his best bitch face—probably the best he’d seen in years—and stood, crossing his arms. “Is this about what happened with the ghoul? Because there’s no way we could’ve—”

“Yep, that’s it. Congrats, Dr. Phil, you’ve done whatever psych crap and managed to cure me. How on earth do you do it?”

“Dean.” Sam followed him out of the kitchen and back toward the library, where they’d most recently stashed their rolling booze cart—yet another feature of the bunker Dean still couldn’t quite wrap his head around, although he had to admit it was rather nice.

“Don’t ‘Dean’ me, I’m fine. It’s been a long week, cut me some slack.” He unscrewed the top of the whiskey bottle and poured a generous amount into a glass. Sam shot him another exasperated look. Dean sarcastically saluted as he backed out of the library.

He stopped just outside his door and took a quiet breath, releasing slowly, urging the tension in his chest out with it. He glanced in and couldn’t help but soften at the view in front of him: Cas was engrossed in the wedding scene, albeit a bit confused by the clergyman. Dean watched him take a drink of his beer and wince, an instinct he almost always suppressed around others.

Once Inigo, Fezzik, and Westley were back on screen, Dean sauntered back in. Cas immediately turned and smiled at him, but his brow furrowed at the sight of the whiskey glass. Dean shrugged and took a sip, savoring the slight burn and the slow spreading warmth. He flashed Cas a reassuring grin as he sat down on his side of the bed.

Everything was fine, it had to be. Besides, Cas had definitely missed some important dialogue, so all Dean had to do was get through the end of the movie and shrug all his anxious behavior off as lingering effects of the hunt; there was a good chance Cas wouldn’t believe him, but if he got adamant enough, he’d be left alone. Not that alone was what he really wanted, but it was better than rejected or ridiculed, and he was far too accustomed to being by himself—yet another thing to thank his father for.

They got through the rest of the movie without another incident, even if the silence was a tad tense. As the credits rolled, Dean glanced over and noticed Cas was frowning.

“So… uh, did you… did you like the movie?”

“I still have many questions that have gone unanswered. Or, rather, we were otherwise occupied while they were explained, I suppose.”

“We did, uh, miss a few things.”

“Also, I’m no expert on the matter, but I’m old enough to know with relative certainty that there have been kisses more ‘passionate and pure’ than that one. I assume this particular kiss isn’t leading to the consummation of their relationship, as carnal desire would prevent it from being pure, I suppose, but I’m afraid I cannot agree with the story’s assessment.”

“The slow-burn romance wasn’t drawn out enough for you, huh?” Dean laughed.

“She only believed him dead twice, Dean. I think our own experiences have reduced the impact of that. Besides, their relationship required more exposition. With what we were given, you can’t expect me to be truly invested.”

“Maybe she should’ve died at least once, just to shake it up a bit.”

“My sentiments exactly. Westley cannot understand the same levels of grief without experiencing it firsthand, and it’s always more interesting to allow characters beyond just the hero the chance to die. Imagine how monotonous our lives would be if we only consistently lost one of us.”

Dean closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, a goofy smile plastered on his face. His shoulders shook as he laughed, the bed eventually shuddering along with the movement.

“I don’t understand what’s so funny, Dean.”

“It’s just… Our lives are so ridiculous. No one else watches this and thinks it’s not realistic enough because only Westley dies and gets resurrected.”

“I’m aware it’s outside of the usual human experience, of course, but I also can’t help but—” He paused, eyes widening slightly. “Never mind.”

“C’mon, Cas, you know you can’t do that! Say it.”

“I’d really prefer keeping it to myself, thank you.”

“Cas, dude, just say it.”

“You won’t let this go, will you?”

“You know I won’t.” Dean smirked.

“Fine,” Cas sighed. “I can’t help but see similarities between the characters and, well, our family.”

“Oh, of course, I project us onto characters all the time! I’m Westley, right?”

“Buttercup, actually.”

“I—” The smile slipped from Dean’s face. “You see me as the princess? Why?”

“You’re both stubborn and remarkably willing to sacrifice yourself for those you love.”

“You know, I did not show you this movie just so you could turn around and attack me,” Dean grumbled, but he flashed Cas a small smile so he wouldn’t take the complaint too seriously.

“I feel it’s a proper evaluation of your character.” Cas shrugged and grinned back.

“Does that make you Westley, then?”

It took Dean approximately two seconds after the words left his mouth to process what he’d said, fear twisting his stomach into knots as he realized the implications of it. Cas, on the other hand, chuckled quietly and looked down at his beer bottle.

“I suppose Westley saving Buttercup from the quicksand does mirror me pulling you out of Hell, at least a bit.”

“Lightning sand. Way cooler than quicksand,” Dean corrected, latching on to anything that would distract from his question.

“Ah, yes. Lightning sand. It’s no match for Hell, but I don’t need to tell you that.”

“Yeah… Hey, I don’t think I’m ready to turn in for the night yet, would you want to watch something else? You can pick, if you’d like.”

“As you wish.”

Dean froze, his hand halfway to his whiskey glass, the gears in his head screaming into motion. It wasn’t every day that Cas made a movie reference, especially one with such a blatantly romantic connotation. He was well aware of his own intention in saying it before the movie, but was Cas just emulating him? Picking up on yet another of his habits? Or— No, no. Dean had to remind himself that Cas wasn’t human, that he couldn’t experience affection the same way, that everything else had completely escaped his understanding.

He figured he’d put his foot in his mouth enough times that evening, he should just change his mind about stretching this out any longer, just go to bed. But the thought gnawed at him, the silence had continued to the point of becoming awkward, he needed to say something.

Dean turned to face Cas and swallowed down his pride and insecurities, hope and fear clashing across his features. Cas was waiting patiently with a soft smile, his bright eyes crinkling beautifully.

“Did you just—” Dean whispered, his voice getting caught in his throat.

“I believe so. Did I use the line incorrectly?”

“No—I… I just never thought—”

“That’s fine, too,” Cas quickly cut him off, his shoulders sagging slightly.

“Cas.” Dean reached out and tentatively brushed his fingers lightly across the angel’s stubbled cheek before settling on his shoulder, thumb resting softy on the side of his neck. “Why do you think I said it?”

It was as if someone had just powered Cas back up, he so nearly glowed with joy, and Dean thought to himself that this was the most angelic he’d ever looked. Messy hair, glassy-eyed, and all, he was stunning.

Dean felt the knots in his stomach unravel, the weight he’d been carrying for so long lessened. The hesitation of entering unknown territory faded as it started to sink in that Cas wanted this, too, and he stopped thinking, painfully aware that if he thought about it too much, he’d never do it. And he so desperately needed to do this.

He leaned forward, making his intent clear while also looking for consent, and Cas eagerly met him in the middle. It wasn’t the most graceful kiss, as they were both a little out of practice and had yet to learn each other’s rhythms, but Dean was looking forward to learning.

Cas rested his forehead against Dean’s and sighed contentedly.

“With a little more practice, I think we could top Buttercup and Westley’s kiss.”

“I’d like that,” Cas laughed, his warm breath tickling Dean’s nose.

“Their slow-burn seems almost boring next to ours.”

“Oh, speaking of…” Cas straightened up suddenly, causing Dean to have to catch himself before he fell face-first into the angel’s shoulder.

“Speaking of?”

“I missed how they brought Westley back,” Cas said sheepishly. “Would you mind explaining?”

“A little distracted, were you?” Dean smiled cheekily and leaned in for another kiss, something he could never imagine getting tired of doing.

“More than a little.”

Dean launched into a detailed explanation of the Miracle Max scene, the chocolate-coated miracle pill, and the plan to break into the castle before the wedding, going so far as to include all the dialogue he could remember off the top of his head. Cas tilted his head to rest on Dean’s shoulder and laughed at the exaggerated voices, each distinct and absurd in their own way. When the story was over, they slipped into a comfortable silence, Dean’s arm snaked around Cas’s waist, personal space no longer a concern.

After some time, Cas glanced at the clock on the nightstand and was startled to find it was nearly midnight.

“Oh, before it gets too late…” He lifted his head and placed a hand gently on Dean’s cheek. “Happy birthday, Dean. I would’ve gotten you a gift—”

“There’s nothing I want more than this.”

…

The following morning, Dean woke up early and decided to make breakfast, tossing some slabs of bacon on a baking sheet to crisp up in the oven. Sam stumbled in a few minutes later, drawn in by the aroma. He gave Dean a questioning look and was met with a broad grin.

“Rise and shine, Sammy! Are you going to eat like a normal person, or do I have to separate your eggs for you?”

“I… uh, just the whites would be great, thanks.”

“Normal person breakfast, it is!”

Sam rolled his eyes as he turned on the coffeemaker, but he smiled quietly to himself, glad to see Dean had gotten over whatever had been bothering him the night before.

Cas wandered in as Dean pulled the bacon out of the oven, and Sam just about choked on his coffee; instead of his usual trench coat and suit, Cas was wearing a soft purple and blue flannel he’d most definitely pulled from Dean’s closet, and he’d neglected to button nearly the entire top half.

“Mornin’, sunshine!” Dean slapped his hand away from the hot tray and passed him a mug of coffee instead. “You lookin’ to burn yourself?”

“I’m an angel, you ass,” Cas chuckled, stepping around him to reach the bacon. “I can do what I want.”

“You can’t even taste it properly.”

“Dean, too much grease is bad for your health,” Cas deadpanned as he took a bite of the still steaming rasher. It was hotter than he’d anticipated, but nothing a little grace couldn’t fix.

Sam cleared his throat loudly and gestured at the stovetop, where the eggs were burning.

“Fuck!”

“Good morning, Sam.” Cas took a sip of his coffee as he walked toward the table. “How was your night?”

“Evidently not as good as yours.” Sam looked up at him in stunned disbelief. “You two finally figure your shit out?”

“Hell of a way to phrase it, but yeah.” Dean beamed as he set the plate of bacon on the table, his other arm slung around Cas’s shoulder. “This idiot’s in love with me. Who knew?”

“Practically everyone else,” Sam laughed. “But I’m really happy for you guys, I don’t know anyone more deserving of this. One request, though, seeing as Jack and I live here, too.”

“Shoot.”

“Minimal PDA in communal spaces?”

“No deal.” Dean grinned and promptly pulled Cas in for a kiss.

[littleeyesofpallas]

The Visored had this whole tortured souls, trapped between two worlds kind of thing going for them at the start that Kubo just kinda left behind and never really got back to... (you can see how this series of posts went from clearing up mistranslations to just full on spotlighting lost plot threads...)  There were parts that he sort of half-salvaged late in the arc (and I’m actually still convinced that he took the overall plot for them that he lost in the Arrancar Arc and used that as the backbone of the Fullbringer arc) but let’s look at some of the foundations of the Visored that he set up at the start of the arc...

禁��を使って虚(ホロウ)の能力を手にしようとした元死神の無法集団 所在も思想も一切不明 厄介だぜ

A lawless group of former-Shinigami who tried to get the powers of Hollows using forbidden arts. Whereabouts and ideologies both entirely unclear. It's troublesome

This is the first real description of the Visored we get, other than the obvious visual explanation that they’ve got zanpakutou and hollow masks like Ichigo.  It sets up their basic profile as a mysterious group, known broadly to Urahara and Isshin but with no specific details.  Other bits of that scene also establish that Urahara and Isshin had expected them to show up and approach Ichigo, as well as implies that they’ve discussed it specifically.  Considering the timeline of events in which Isshin has only just seen his son again after the whole Rukia rescue arc that started with Ichigo having to train to get his powers back, the fact that Isshin knew about Ichigo’s mask means he knew what Urahara had done to Ichigo, possibly from the moment Ichigo left to go train.

What I think is interesting is that for one, they’re called “lawless” which is a little vague given how little is really being said here; the word 無法 would most commonly mean “Lawlessness”/”Injustice”/”Wrong” and such as a noun, and as an adj. it can mean the same BUT it can also mean “Disorderly” or even just “Outrageous.”  The reason being that the word 法 can mean both a formal structure of law, as well as just a general system of organization.  It might be that they’re just calling them disorderly because they aren’t part of the Gotei 13 or Soul Society at large, or don’t have formal ranks like they do; as opposed to accusing them of some distinct immoral quality.  On the other hand it’s also possible that this is just calling them “outlaws” in the sense that by being Visorsed, they have broken the law of Soul Society.

It also establishes, albeit in slightly odd terms, that no one knows what the Visored want.  This is actually a really solid mystery hook and one I’ll revisit as we go through some more scenes...

Here’s a good line that every English translation I’ve seen totally botched!

オレは"仮面の軍勢"(ヴァイザード) オマエの同類や そっち側に居るべき 人間やない—————

I'M a VISORED. I'm the same as YOU. A human shouldn't be over there on that side—————

In particular every English translation I’ve seen goes with something like, “you don’t belong with them” and completely neglects that Kubo very specifically uses the word 人間: “Human.”  The side he’s saying Ichigo doesn’t belong with, are the Shinigami.  It was always kind of implied by the way the Visored were living in the human world, but Shinji is in fact calling the Visored more Human than Shinigami: He JUST told Ichigo they were the same, and then called Ichigo Human.  And this idea gets followed up a few scenes later when Hiyori is introduced...

Jinxed myself... I just realized I totally flubbed this translation.  I forgot I set aside bits of this line with Shinji’s dialect because I knew I’d have to work around those, but in this case I forgot to substitute the standard Japanese back in.  The phrase, 人間やない: “ningen yanai” is an accented way of saying 人間じゃない: “ningen janai.”  As in a “not-Human.”  So the translation should actually read as,

I'M a VISORED. I'm the same as YOU. You should be over on the sidewith your own kind, Not-Humans—————

...うちキライや人間

わかっとる

...死神も... ...キライや...

...わかっとる

HIYORI: ...I hate humans

SHINJI: I know (said in agreement)

HIYORI: ...Shinigami too... ...I hate them...

SHINJI: I know (said in agreement)

It’s a little clunky to translate but the phrase, わかっとる: “wakaru” has some specific usage that I tried to clarify above.  Actually in looking for the grammatical term to explain this better, I just found an all around better explanation:

Usage notes: The verb “wakaru” is most often glossed as “to understand.” However, “wakaru” is intransitive, and it takes the thing that is understood as the subject, and not the object. Strictly speaking, “wakaru” is thus closer to English “to be understandable,” as the verb “wakaru“ describes the thing itself, unlike English “to understand,” which describes the action of the person doing the understanding.

So when Shinji replies to the effect of “I get it...” every time Hiyori says she hates Humans/Shinigami, he’s not just affirming that he’s listening, he’s agreeing with the sentiment.  He also hates humans.  He also hates the shinigami.  This implicitly carries over to the Visored as a whole, and it implies that they’ve had a whole history and drama of not being accepted by human society.... although we never get any elaboration on that...

But let’s back up a bit to Shinji’s encounter with Ichigo again, because the Visored have a lot of factional drama going for them at the start here...

...もう遅いねん仮面の軍勢(ヴァイザード)は一遍発症したら二度と元には戻られへん  オマエが どう思おうが オマエはもうこっち側やねん一護

It's too late. It's all over. When VISORED symptoms appear, you can never go back.   No matter what YOU think, YOU are already on this side

Of note here, 発症: “outbreak of an illness;” “onset of an illness;” “appearance of symptoms;” “for signs of an illness to appear.”  Which is super interesting and suggests a few things about the nature of the Visored as hybrids, their own perspective on their condition, and the implied backstory they have at this juncture...

...織姫チャンも デクいのも メガネも 他のいろんな 死神達も みんな仲間やと思てるやろオマエ? 違うで  仲間でおれんのは今だけや

Orihime-CHAN, BLOCKHEAD, GLASSES, and the other Shinigami (referred to as a collective group)  Do you think they're your friends/comrades?  That's wrong. They're friends/comrades only for now

今のまま死神でおり続けたらオマエはいずれ必ず内なる虚(ホロウ)に呑まれて正気を失う そうなったら終いや  オマエの力は全てを壊です仲間も未来も お前自身も ぜんぶ巻き込んでコナゴナのォ

As it is, if you continue to be a Shinigami, YOU will eventually lose your sanity by being swallowed by the inner HOLLOW. Then it's the end.  YOUR power will destroy everything: Friends/Comrades, future, you yourself, all involved, every little bi~t, swallowed up.

...ホンマはもう 気ィ付いてんのと違うか?  お前自身の内なる虚(ホロウ)がもう手ェつけろられんぐらい巨かなっとるゆうことに...

THE TRUTH, by now you re~alize it, don't you? In other words, you can't ha~ndle your own inner HOLLOW it's gotten so huge.

So part of what was really intriguing about all this, back in the day when this information was just whatever we could scrape out of one chapter at a time each week, was that Shinji talks about inner Hollows, talks about them like they’re a disease, and talks about how there’s no reversing the Hollowization.  He suggests that he can teach Ichigo how to deal with the inner Hollow in such a way that he won’t destroy everything/one around him.  But he doesn’t specify what that method really is, even vaguely.  So, when Ichigo does go to them, there’s a nebulous sense of not knowing what he’s actually signing up for..  Even when he begins undergoing his training and faces down his inner Hollow, we don’t actually know if the goal is for him to destroy the hollow, to beat it into submission, to make peace with it, etc...

This all also HIGHLY suggests that every Visored also has an inner Hollow; they’re aware of it as a concept, they have a method specifically built for dealing with it, they have the obviously parallels with Ichigo that suggest their powers work similarly, and the arc overall eventually sets up the idea that Arrancar, Shinigami, and Visored all have a kind of true self or manifested soul that defines their unique sword/mask/release form.  But here’s the fun part,

When Ichigo is in the middle of his training, we get a matching pair of chapter covers (217 and 220) following Kubo’s formula established back during the Soul Society arc, with the cast of Shinigami, of having a bold written name of a character behind a portrait.  Ichigo’s inner Hollow’s “name” is just Ichigo’s name mirrored, which is exactly how Hirako wrote his name on the chalkboard when he showed up in Karakura High.  (Also keep in mind that Sakanade was hundreds of chapters away from being introduced at that point, and very likely not even a real idea for Hirako’s sword power yet.)  In the context of the early arc, the suggestion here was that Shinji never “conquered” his inner Hollow, he was his inner Hollow --or in the very least the two were at peace in a way that allowed Shinji to incorporate it into his own personality.

It’s a round about way to try to point it out, but really it just looks like the original concept for the whole inner Hollow conflict was just Ichigo learning to accept his negative character traits as a part of himself, rather than deny and repress them. (It’s basically what wound up being the exact dynamic of Person 4′s shadows actually...)

But this all is why I’ve always had the distinct feeling that Kubo’s original plan for the Visored wasn’t for them to be a bunch of captains and lieutenants at all; I think they were supposed to be a bunch of humans who got Shinigami powers by surviving being Hollowified, just like Ichigo did.  I think their secret motive was going to be two-fold: firstly they’d claim their goal was to gain the Hougyoku to use it’s distortion powers to mend the wall between their two forms to rid them of their Hollows, as the general descriptions of the Hollow symptoms and Ichigo’s personal motives would suggest --and for which they’d be willing to fight Aizen and the Arrancar-- but then the twist reveal would be that they really wanted to Hougyoku to further their transformations rather than revert them, and that their villainous motives would be in part facilitated by the fact that they were basically Hollows in human bodies...  And you might notice parts of that sound an awful lot like what the Fullbringer plot wound up being...

I also have a theory that there was something else going on with the Arrancar/Hollows, specifically the Vastlords, but that’ll have to wait for another post...

[quinntessentiallyglee]

Jade M!A: You are unable to say the word No, or hold scissors, until you say something nice about Tori, Trina, Cat, and yourself.

Jade: That’s Bullshiz! I don’t care if you are “Magic”, you can’t stop me from saying Nnnn-... Nnnn-...  NNNN-

Quinn: Is this your first M!A? I’d say welcome to the club, but-

Jade: I don’t want to be part of your stupid club. I want to find whoever’s behind this and take my scissors an-OW! *drops scissor* What the Hell?

Rachel: *enters the room, looks at the scissors sticking up from the floor* Magic Anon?

Quinn: Magic Anon. She can’t say ‘No’ or touch her scissors until she says nice things about a bunch of people from her verse. At least I think they’re from her verse. I know they aren’t from here.

Jade: *kneeling next to her scissors, eyes the handle while flexing her fingers* Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?

Quinn: At least you got to keep your clothes on.

Dani: *enters the room*, looks at Jade, the scissors, then Quinn and Rachel* Magic Anon?

Quinn/Rachel: *nod* Magic Anon.

Jade: Instead of repeating the same thing over and over, why don’t you do something useful, like fixing this bullshiz!

Dani: What are the terms?

Rachel: She has to say nice things about Tori and some others before she’s allowed to touch her scissors or say ‘No’.

Dani: *winces* Ouch. No wonder she’s in a mood. At least she got to-

Jade: Keep my clothes. Yes, yay me. *sarcastically waves her hands in cheer*  Now tell me what I need to do to fix this!

Rachel: We already did. And do did your Magic Anon.

Jade: Nnnn- Shiz! Not going to happen.I won’t.

Quinn: *to Rachel* How did you know Tori was one of them?

Rachel: Hmm? Oh, it’s obvious. Jades got a crush on her and won’t admit it, so of c-

Jade: I do not have a crush on Vega! *reaches for the handles os her scissors. They start to glow red hot*

Rachel/Quinn/Dani: ... Yeah...

Rachel: Maybe don’t burn the apartment down?

Dani: or hurt yourself.

Rachel: Yes, that too. Obviously.

Jade: I like pain.

Quinn: Then you should love the pain of saying something nice about your friends.

Jade: They aren’t my friends! ... Okay, Cat is, but Vega definitely isn’t, and there’s nnnn- Dammit!

Dani: *bends down and pulls the scissors out of the floor with a dull -thunk- sound, quickly back-pedals away as Jade tries to grab them.

Dani: Yeah, no. I’m not getting burned because you’re a stubborn bi-

Rachel: Dani!

Dani: Bi. I was going to say Bi.

Jade: Give me back my scissors!

Quinn/Rachel: *stand in front of Dani*

Quinn” Trust me, I hate this shiz as much as you, but the only way you’re getting out from under this curse is by giving in to it.

Jade: Never!

Rachel: And that’s your choice. You can always wait it out afte-

Quinn: No she can’t?

Rachel: She can’t?

Jade: I can too!

Quinn: There’s no time limit on this one. You think I’d tell her to give in if she could wait it out instead?

Rachel: Oh.

Dani: Ouch.

Jade: ... *sighs* Fine. But I’m only doing this because I have nnn- *growls* because I don’t have any other choice. Got it?

Dani/Rachel/Quinn: *nod*

Jade: *sighs, grumbles something about ‘stupid magic anons’ and ‘regret the day they were born’* Cat is my best friend, even if she drives me up a wall sometimes, Trina is always good for a laugh, even if she doesn’t mean to be, Vega- Tori is... okay, I guess. Now give me my scissors.

Dani/Rachel/Quinn: *exchange glances*

Rachel: I’m not sure that counts as nice.

Jade: What are you talking about? Of course it was nice. You think I’d say any of that if I wasn’t under an actual magical curse?

Dani: She has a point.

Quinn: Easy way to find out. *to Jade*: Say ‘no’

Jade: N-nnnn *a look of horror spreads across her face* What the actual f-

Quinn: Wait! I just remembered. She needs to say something nice about herself too.

Rachel: Really? This is an unusually moral building anon.

Quinn: I know. I’m almost jealous.

Dani: Really?

Quinn: ... Forget I said that. I take it back! It doesn’t count!

Rachel: Fingers crossed Quinn.

Jade: If you all done talking amongst yourselves... I say something nice about myself and I’m done? Everything goes back to normal?

Dani: Well, as normal as anything around here ever gets. Yeah.

Rachel: Assuming that what you said about your friends counts as nice, that is.

Quinn: *waves her hand in the 50/50 gesture*

Jade: Fine: I’m an excellent director. 

Jade/Rachel/Dani/Quinn: *pause*

Dani: Did that-

Jade: No!

Jade: *laughs*

Jade: No! No? No. No! No. No.

Jade: *grabs her scissors from Dani* And now, some anon-hunting. *leaves room, snicking her scissors with every step*

Dani: How long till she gets cursed again?

Rachel: Within the week.

Quinn: *snorts* Please, with that attitude, I give her 24 hours, tops. I just hope the next anon is as focused on her as this one was.

Rachel/Dani: Quinn!

Quinn: What?

Dani: Are you trying to jinx us?

Rachel: Honestly, Quinn. After all the anons we’ve been through, I’d think you’d know better by now.

[cathrynhanel]

WRITEBLR intro

CATHRYNHANEL WRITEBLR INTRO

Hi ! my name is Cathryn, she/her, and I’ve been scouring writeblr for months now. I’m working on my debut novel (the beginning of a trilogy, if I do well). As I’m in the last stages of developmental editing, I thought about finally make an intro to my WIP :) I would, however, like to note that I’m part dyslexic, so apologies for any errors.

WIP INTRO !!!!

xoraa → environmentally eerie, psychological, adventurous.

narration → third person, present tense, multiple points of view (mostly just the protagonist). 

blurb → What lengths will you go to find an answer?

Xoraa was built to cut the last of civilization off from the rest of the world. After centuries of living in an isolated paradise, the only human engagement with the Outside — a seemingly malignant environment surrounding them, where extreme heat has scorched the earth and mysteriously wiped it clean of all signs of past civilization — has been Seekers; people who, despite warnings of what lies out there, have crossed the border and escaped.

In Xoraa, we join the latest assembly of Seekers. The group is made up of seven men and women, also known as P3-61. Sorsha Danno is the groups newly appointed member. As she escapes through malevolent landscapes with distrustful but desperate Seekers, days stretching into weeks, haunted by guilt and hunted by Xoraa's Elite Forces, Sorsha begins to penetrate the secrets of the Outside.

But with each discovery, she must confront disturbing truths about herself and the cruelty of the earth they live on. They head out expecting the unexpected, and the Outside delivers — but it's the past that follows with her across the border and the secrets the Seekers are keeping from one another that change everything.

NOW FOR SOME KEY CHARACTERS.

sorshadanno → 24 (bi), chocolate hair and eyes, a scar from her temple through her brow. 

Sorsha has lived with her grandmother for as long as she can remember, knowing little to nothing about her parents.

Generally, she is the type of person who is rational and consistent in her conclusions, often bottling her thoughts up. Her methods can sometimes be brutal and irrational. But as Niko often points out, she’s not focusing on the whole picture. 

Sorsha has very little patience for the Seeker’s feelings when it comes to whining about how tired they are; as she tells it, she’s teaching them how to fight for their lives, not for fun. But she does feel a low key desire to take care of them.

“Good is a point of view.”

jinx wilde → 33 (pan), tall, bleached coils cut close to her scalp, unblemished dark skin.

Jinx is the leader of the group. She is a closed person. Therefore, none of the Seekers knows anything about her past, other than her late daughter.

Usually, she is calm and composed. She stances tall, elegant, with the posture of an army general. Her movements are always careful and thought-out, not a thing out of place, much like her way of speech: speaking each word clearly. Because of all this, the Seekers look up to her and stand by her side with almost every request.

“One wears a mask for so long, they forget who they were beneath it.”

tychofadely → 26 (het), blond with crooked dimples and silver eyes.

Tycho is sarcastic and quick-witted, but also observant and analytical. He is all about connecting dots, theorising and identifying possibilities. He frequently thinks out loud, energetically or exasperatedly spewing ideas, often with references to pop culture.

He loves to express his feelings to his friends and is usually unnerved if they don’t reciprocate. He might even unintentionally put his feelings out there before he considers or becomes receptive to the feelings of those around him. Still, he cares about his friends and intends to do whatever he can to save them.

“Alright, it’s causing me severe mental anguish to say this, but he’s right.”

nikohorne → 26 (het), muscular hispanic, tall and broad with a haunting gaze.

Niko is restless. He’s always working on something privately, albeit subtly, from behind the scenes. He is aware of the whole of his environment and uses its details to improvise. He obviously enjoys fights and takes joy in wild physical stimuli.

He doesn’t have a well-developed feeling function. It is only shown as something that helps him determine whether it was righteous to go and take revenge on those who were participants in events he dislikes. And he doesn’t care what others think.

“I’ve got to say, I continue to be impressed with your ingenuity. But I think I’m just beginning to understand what kind of person you are.”

mara mccall → 20 (pan), light brown hair and moss eyes, plump pink lips and natural curves.

At first, Mara seems like the typical spoiled girl who knows nothing about the real world. In reality, she is a planner, but also impulsive in desiring immediate action. She can store enormous amounts of information in her mind and recalls facts with total clarity. 

Mara is super organised and efficient, but also very logical. The Seekers credit her with being a "genius". She has a natural instinct to learn anything she puts her mind to, feels a strong drive toward success and pursues the things she cares about most, staying very loyal to her friends.

“Sweetheart, we’ve got about half Xoraa’s Elites on our asses, I think we can handle a sewer.”

jagolekar → 37 (ace), dark-skinned medic, bald with a goatee, only has one eye.

Jago's personality can best be described as kindhearted, but also mysterious, likely due to his past that few of the Seekers know about. He does his best to keep his cards close to the vest, and he never reveals more information than is absolutely necessary. 

Despite his desire to maintain an air of secrecy, he has developed a very close bond with the Seekers. As a result, he does his best to help them as much as he can, while trying his best to come off assimply a surgeon. However, when danger strikes, he proves to be more than capable of protecting himself.

“A short-term solution to a long-term problem. You better make it work.”

terrencebalker → 38 (het), slender ginger who is pale and kind of pasty, wears turtlenecks.

Terrence is the main antagonist and works for Xoraa. A young, ruthless man who has complete confidence in the government's way of ruling, the Elite Force’s training methods and their weapons. His job mainly consists of handling the nation’s Seeker problems.

Most of the time, he has a laid-back demeanour. But he can become violent when others try to test his patience and intensely sadistic. He is on the verge of being a fanatic, but often justifies himself by telling others he does it for Xoraa. 

“Send a pair of scouting parties. Two caravans only. Tell them not to come back until they’re found!”

Thank you for reading :) I’m looking forward to becoming more active on this platform in 2020. The photo is not mine, found on Pinterest; credit to the original photographer.

[notalk-justthought]

all of the fantasy asks >:3

I expected being sent all, but not the >:3 face so you got me there (ily bro)

Fairy- What is something that you get excited about? seeing friends i haven’t seen in a while

Mermaid- What are you looking forward to? going to pride!! it’s gonna be awesome!! (hopefully)

Elf- What are you proud of? my friends and my family 

Dragon- Sexuality? bi

Griffin- Gender? cis female

Unicorn- Who do you look up to? my mom, also Daria

Spirit- Have you ever been in love? *WHAT IS LOVE?* but uh no i don’t think so

Ghost- Favorite song? rn either CrossRevolution or Milk both from the rhythm game Voez

Poltergeist- Favorite song lyric? uhhhhhhhhh idk

Ghoul- Who is someone that makes you laugh easily/who’s company you enjoy most of, if not all of, the time? Daria 

Goblin- What makes you happy? cute animals doing cute/funny things, friends, jamming out to songs

Dwarf- Favorite tv show? idk, i haven’t been watching many shows

Vampire- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)? I’ve started like two books. A Stranger in the House by Shari Lapena and Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Werewolf- Who is your family? Who do you live with? my mom, my bro, my mom and my stepmom. i live with my mom 

Siren- Favorite color? idk blue?

Hobgoblin- Do you like anyone? yeah

Wraith- Any scars? ye

Specter- Have you ever been in love? wait this is already a question, so my answer still stands

Chimera- Will you/do you want to get married? maybe? idk

Changeling- Do you want children? hmmm not really/not yet

Oracle- Do you like children? yeah

King- Describe your ideal day. there’s so many different scenarios i could choose from uhhhhh I guess to sum it up, hanging out with my friends somewhere

Queen- Age? 20

Princess- What is your relationship with your parents like? it’s alright, one of them is getting better than it was before so that’s good!

Prince- Birthday? july 4th 

Necromancer- If you could spend a week with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be? Frida Kahlo

Castle- What is something that not a lot of people know about you? i have no idea haha i don’t know what people know and don’t know about me and I can’t think of anything rn

Tower- What is (at least one thing) something that you’re afraid of? losing close friends and messing up romantic relationships (that got too real oh boy)

Magic- Describe your crush without saying their name. okay im gonna be honest, i don’t have a strong crush on anyone, they’re all just distant crushes, like if I see/interact with them I notice it, but no one or few people that I constantly think of, that hasn’t happened since late 2017? so obviously that didn’t answer the question and I’m shit at describing people anyways lol

Enchanted Forest- Height? almost 5′2

Magic Healer- Any pets? If so, what are they? yes!! four cats total; 2 my mom’s, 2 my dad’s. 

Potions- Relationship status? single 

Potion Making- Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? n/a

Divination- What do you think about yourself? I’m doing what I can and trying to better myself

Visions- Do you miss anyone? I miss my cats

Curses- How do you show affection? uhhh i don’t really know… 

Charms- Are you religious? no

Hexes- What’s your favorite smell? idk, but this coconut lotion I use smells good

Jinxes- If you could be anywhere, where would you want to be? Las Vegas idk why 

[isamariejones-blog]

( hey demons it’s ya boi ( or girl idc at this point the gender of the day? cheetos )  jinx and i’m here with my one of my fave ocs isabella jones!! i hope everyone is doing well and pls like this if you’d like to plot and i’ll come bother u! )

is that ( isabella 'isa' jones )? i think i saw the ( thirty-one ) year old ( cis-female ) ( candy store manager & owner ) in the town square earlier. the ( deborah ann woll ) lookalike could be described as ( kind ), but also be considered ( overthinking ). i heard someone in town say ( she ) was the town’s ( heart of gold ), but only time can tell if that’s true or not !

AESTHETIC: always having a deck of cards & candies in her pockets & purses, sugar, curiosity, rain, worn hardback books, broken paper back spines, courage that doesn’t roar, learning to abandon masquerades but having trouble not telling white lies, a fire crackling, exploding when you least expect it, hiking trails. fighting through the fear, recovering one day at a time, forcefully finding peace & screaming off a mountain top. PINTEREST: [ x ]

triggers: eating disorder tw ( i will specifically label it ), illness tw, death tw, drinking tw, drugs tw

quick points before her bio!!!

don’t call her bella, bells, you can use isabella but that’s usually if you know her, she’ll usually introduce her name as isa. Edgelord obviously™

Tired Mom Friend

comes from a wealthy af family that owns a small string of candy stores around the US. one in chicago, one in san francisco  and one in new york!!

if u ever hear this lady raise her voice LMK!!! or run cause she is v soft spoken

she wants to travel the world and climb everywhere and honestly wants to backpack through europe all that eat pray love shit and !!! has not

loves nature tho! a hoe for nature

probs an annoying white person who’ll suggest u try yoga for something wild but SHE MEANS WELL she just likes yoga

*NSYNC VOICE* BI BI BI ( BI BI )

just a heads up – i have extensive experience and have done research w/ eating disorders, and im not here to glamorize it, use it as a plot device etc. still, i will tag it so it doesn’t trigger anyone else!!!

BIOGRAPHY ( it’s long sorry ):

Born on the cusp of winter and spring, March 21,1986, was a day her parents, Michael and Amelia Jones, cherished. They were two highly respected FBI Agents who had been trying for the longest time to conceive children — their  window of opportunity was running out. It was their only way they could think of keeping their marriage together, especially after the war. Both had been through a great deal, including losing two of their previous children ( due to backlash from various enemies they’d made on the job )  and found themselves irreparably changed — but scared of being alone. In turn, they clung to each other and decided to build a new life — starting by restarting a family. Her mother who was almost too old and weathered to have children, went to doctor after healer, trying everything she could to have a child. Finally, their miracle of miracles, Isabella Marié Jones was born.

They spoiled their daughter rotten and made sure she was educated in absolutely anything and everything from a young age. Her mother, Amelia, was harder on her daughter than her father was. Especially when it came to food and appearance. She wanted her daughter to be the epitome of perfection but not only that, to grow up a strong woman. Amelia felt by being tough on her daughter, this would cultivate a strong exterior. While this did happen, Isabella was also utterly miserable. Instead of playing games with the other children in their new Chicago suburb, Isabella was learning languages like Spanish, French, German, and just injected with all kinds of knowledge she didn’t really want at the time. Happy was what she wanted, and happiness to her was in the form of being free, especially from these expectations — but going outside to play would do.  Isabella never got the chance and eventually gave up trying to fight her parents, and ultimately instead started trying to please them.

Still, the absence of the children they should have had, weighed heavily on Isabella’s shoulders. Late at night when they thought their prized daughter was asleep, her parents would bicker and cry about how much they missed their other children. Amelia and Michael blamed each other — and all this made Isabella want to do was make them happy even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness. The only truly happy childhood memories Isabella could draw around her childhood revolved around food — which was a great coincidence seeing as her uncle owned a self made business, 'Jonesin' For Sugar' Candy Shop . She was always completely entranced when she went in, and Andrew and Arabella Jones always gave her the parental love she desperately needed and was lacking. Once her mother saw her love sweets she nicknamed her daughter  “Belly”, in an attempt to maybe get her to lay off the candies. It didn’t really work, so her mother’s primping and comments became frequent.

Isabella tried to be what they wanted and it never seemed to be enough even when Isabella became the perfect daughter they wanted her to be. Involved on sports teams, community outreach, perfect grades. Still, to them, Isabella felt just average at best especially when at her preppy private school she never seemed to be the top of her class or the president of their student government. She was always either second best or fell further behind. The girl was under such pressure, one day she just snapped and yelled at her parents, telling them what she thought. Her parents then started to fight, and blaming each other.  In turn, Isabella once again felt she had to make them happy. The cycle continued.

[ !!!! eating disorder tw !!!! ] It was in the beginning of her Junior year that Isabella fully started to feel her parents pressure. Food became a comfort, and she’d often sneak to her uncle and aunts shop to binge on sweets whenever she was nervous or anxious about something. Then, because she felt guilty for eating so much, she’d force herself to throw it up. This became a coping mechanism, and it gave her a sense of calm until it just became something she couldn’t stop. Bulimia was something all her own, something her parents didn’t control. Something she was good at. [ eating disorder tw end ]

[  eating disorder mentions, drugs mention ] At the start and for a long time after that, Isabella’s life became a blur. She maintained her grades, but starting hanging around the wrong side of Chicago -- getting into drugs, drinking, promiscuous sex and even drug dealing for a thrill. After she graduated, her parents practically forced her into her first stint at a treatment center but left when she realized it would interfere with her classes at Northwestern if she stayed any longer. Isabella ended up taking a lot of shifts at her uncle’s store, Jonesin’, and when her uncle fell ill — they trusted her to take care of the store. Since her aunt was always taking care of her husband, they gave complete ownership to Isabella — who felt completely bound to it. Her and her eating disorder were in a hellish like equilibrium as she graduated with a generic degree in Business. To try to cope further with it, she went back into the cycle she fell into during high school ( though, she never really stopped ) -- excessive drinking, meaningless sex, drugs occasionally ( it wasn’t AS bad as high school, she tried to convince herself ) on nights because being in her head was too much to handle. She clung to it, it was her, an escape but knew after a while that those were horrible behaviors to have as well as a disease that ate away at her. Self awareness came slow, but it did, finally come. 

The years she was supposed to use finding herself and discovering who she was have been used to help with Jonesin’ and fuel her disorder. At age 29, she finally looked into treatment and luckily her parents supported her financially but barely emotionally, but it was enough. Isa didn’t know much about what she wanted to do with her life, but she knew it wasn’t destroying herself. Finally, with a residential treatment center in Colorado and Isa opening up to and getting support from some friends – she got better. She became more open. She fought for herself and her sanity and has been in recovery for over two years, healthier than she’s been before.  [  eating disorder mentions end ]

Her parents helped run the family candy store that her aunt and uncle were too ill to do, and as the years went by it gained traction. They opened two more stores, but as Isa raved about how amazing Colorado was -- they figured opening a store in a small town atmosphere would be a risk they were willing to take as well as a good business opportunity without as much competition like Ghiradelli and such. They figured it would also be good to have Isa there, to run the store, overlook it and since she feels indebted to her parents as well as chained to Jonesin’ she agreed -- though she did love Colorado too. She moved there about a year ago after completing intensive outpatient in the city. 

You’ll more than likely see Isabella walking around with a bright smile, walking around, talking with her customers, getting to know each in every one of them. Isa is very caring, extremely kind, but also very nice which sometimes make people think she’s a pushover which she’s really not ( anymore ). She does like to please people, something she’s still not managed to shake off as time has gone by and what really tethers her to Jonesin’ but she’s trying to make the best of it. Being very soft spoken, it’s been really hard for Isa to stand up for herself as well, something she’s working on. She still goes to therapy because even though she’s been behavior free for a couple years, she still wasn’t completely recovered or healed from what years of self destruction did to her. Isa has a quiet fire and she’s doing everything she can to fight & think for herself. 

negative traits: overthinking, guarded, distant, defensive, overly logical

positive traits: maternal, kind, witty/has a sense of humor, intelligent