#OVER 120 YEARS AGO

[tame-a-messenger]

Hi there :) I just wanted to appreciate you for creating this blog, I adore Damien & Angela’s dynamic so much :D

Smoshtwt isn’t too fond of Damangela, ’cause a lot of them seem to think all of us ship them romantically (it seems like most of us just enjoy their fun & teasing dynamic!), so being over here is just a lot more fun with less drama!

Anyway, it looks like today’s Games video is gonna be a TNTL Trivial Pursuit - hoping for Damangela!!

- 🐦‍🔥

Thanks💖 I'm happy you like my blog! :D

Smoshtwt can be something else I tell ya. If it was all shipping they are still so aggressive for no reason. I try to stay out of it as much as I can.

(I'm a longtime fandoms lurker. There's a lot of new blood all the sudden trying to change things up, I will not sway and buckle because they think it's 'cringe'. Like I know it's cringe?? I just don't care. It brings me joy)(the word "fan" literally comes from "fanatic" and you're telling me I shouldn't be excited about my cuties™?? be quiet.)

TNTL TRIVIAL PURSUIT!!!! I wonder who it will be today!! (as always, hoping for 🕯️🕯️🕯️Damangela🕯️🕯️🕯️)

[diioonysus]

People love putting passive aggressive things in the tags like damn just say you hate me

[elizabeth-mitchells]

but! on the bright side... Juliet <3

[slippery-minghus]

oh no. i feel like if i do not consume an entire load of bread in the very near future i will simply cease to exist.

[cocteautwinslyrics]

i want the tory party to rip its own dick off over the next 48 hours and it will happen. it will happen trust me

[emi1y]

self titled album original release cd please...

[glimmwood]

tears of the kingdom OC 💧

[nexus-nebulae]

wow i WILDLY miscalculated the difference between kilograms and pounds

[chillyfeetsteak]

I first became fascinated with it a few years ago when I noticed it out an airplane window on a flight from Texas to Southern California. In an expanse of endless desert, suddenly, a vast body of water. When I got home, I immediately looked it up on a map. The Salton Sea.

It’s the largest landlocked body of water in California. It sits right on top of the San Andreas Fault at over 200 feet below sea level. It is more than twice as salty as the Pacific Ocean. It is completely toxic. And I had never heard of it before then.

(photo essay under the cut)

In the early 1900s the Colorado River was diverted through a series of irrigation canals in order to provide water for the farmlands of Imperial Valley. One of the head-gates broke during a flood, and the desert basin filled with water for 2 years before it was fixed. The unexpected lake soon became a popular vacation destination; it was stocked with fish, and resorts and hotels popped up along its shores. It became known as a great place for sport fishing, waterskiing, and yacht parties. Big name celebrities visited. At one point, it had more annual visitors than Yosemite.

Salton Sea has no outlet, and is only filled via agricultural runoff. As the water evaporated in the hot desert sun, the lake became more and more saline. Chemicals began to build up from the run off causing toxic algae blooms, and mass die-offs of fish and birds started in the 80s. By the 90s, the beaches were littered with fish gills and bird bones and the resorts were abandoned. The lake began to dry up as irrigation run-off was diverted away. The exposed lake bed is also toxic, and the high desert winds kick up the dust, making the air poisonous. 

Despite the unpleasant odor, the noxious air and the summer temperatures regularly reaching 120°, a renaissance of sorts began in the early 2010s. Artist and nomad colonies began to spring up around Salton Sea. Bombay Beach, once a popular resort destination, is now mostly a ghost town, but the folks who remain have turned the ruins on the shores into an outdoor art installation gallery where the found-art sculptures are cyclically destroyed by the elements and then replaced with new ones. Many of the houses and RVs in town are themselves art pieces.

In nearby Slab City, a settlement of off-the-grid lifestylers, you can find even more folk art. Salvation Mountain is a manmade hill painted with bright colors and bible verses and maintained by a community of volunteers. East Jesus is a sculpture garden and art installation. 

This past weekend my partner and I finally made the pilgrimage to the Sea. California has the benefit of being home to a huge array of biomes. In just a couple of hours you can travel from snowy mountain peaks to lush oases to endless sand dunes. Driving the hour or so south from Palm Springs towards Salton Sea is like driving towards the end of the world.

Bombay Beach especially enamored me. The beach is crusted with salt and millions of tiny shells and bones. It smells awful, like sewage and chemicals and low-tide and rotting fish. You drive out onto the beach and park anywhere amongst the sculptures and deteriorating resort ruins. The art feels raw in a way I haven’t experienced before. It reminds me of seeing paleolithic cave art. Humans made this, with no motivation other than to create something intriguing or beautiful or sad. Not much can live out here, but what you find fills me with a great adoration for humanity. Despite the asphyxiation of the natural world, the human spirit persists.

[pvtchurch]

That post about ww1 enthusiasts getting distracted by sad gay poets has never been more true (I'm captivated by this autobiography I'm reading)

[thebibliosphere]

im glad you've figured out the boob situationTM, but i must say that i was stopped in my fucking tracks when you mentioned both that you're 135 pounds and that youve had doctors say you need to loose weight. 135 pounds?!? if one ever needed a clearer example of how america's medical institutions are obsessed with weight over the actual health and vital signs of the patient, that'd be the perfect case, because what person weighing 135 pounds needs to LOSE WEIGHT? no one needs to loose weight as much as they just need to exercise for general health, but people at that weight especially don't need to. they fucking shouldn't.

what, are they working under the assumption that your muscles can't fuck you up further if you're just skin and bones instead? some goddamn doctors, man.

Mmm. It's unfortuantely not limited to the US healthcare system. I grew up in the UK, and I've got pretty strong memories of always being told to lose weight even when I was at my absolute lightest so I'd be at the "better" end of the BMI scale.

Because of this, back when I first moved to the US 10 years ago, I weighed about 120-ish lbs soaking wet, and the first doctor I saw looked at me over the top of her glasses, tsked, and told me that based on my BMI I should aim to be 5lbs lighter for optimal health and that "extra" 5lbs was why I had acid reflux.

(Spoiler alert: even when I rapidly dropped 30lbs last year due to a medical complication, I still had acid fucking reflux.)

I'm so, so thankful now that core providers of my healthcare team think BMI is bullshit because, holy fuck, it it bullshit.

[lowkeyrobin]

TREVOR SPENGLER ; you make loving fun

summary ; you, Trevor's first proper non-toxic partner shows him true love, and how great it really is when you find your person

warnings ; language, mentions of making out, talk about toxic people/exes, verbal abuse, and emotional neglect

disclaimers ; Trevor is described as bisexual, reader is a garbage fan (green flag)

word count ; 1k

I'm working on reqs rn dw guys 🙏

masterlist

Trevor knew that the second he'd met you, he'd fallen head over heels.

The only thing he was worried about, after being reassured by both his mom and Pheobe, was how you'd treat him. His last ex was terrible to him, and by that point, he felt like he was an abuse magnet.

Thankfully, nothing was ever physical, he thanked whoever or whatever was looking over him for that, even fate itself.

Talking about past exes, his last ex-boyfriend first, he'd essentially treat him like shit and try to hide their relationship. He'd use him for pleasure and attention and then ignore him and act like he didn't know him. Trevor was always there for him, but he was never once available for Trevor. That shit ended quickly thanks to his mom convincing him to end things, plus moving away again made it easy.

His ex-girlfriend was slightly the same way.

For context, Trevor was never popular, but he wasn't ignored or bullied in school either. He was attractive enough to be boasted about, I guess, but he wasn't gathering hoards of girls to swoon over him either.

She used him as popularity points, as she was one of the half-popular girls who wanted brownie points for dating someone on a lower social level than herself. Trevor never saw it and had to deal with the consequences. The fighting, the way she'd scream and yell and argue with him over the simplest things. She treated him like a charity case.

So, he was fairly afraid to hurt himself again. He wanted to pursue you, he did. He was just fucking scared.

But, with enough pressure and reassurance from Pheobe, his mom, and new friend Lucky, he gathered the courage to ask you out. During that process, he rambled about how smitten he was for you and had to genuinely stop himself as he realized he'd never felt like this for anyone before. You weren't someone he just wanted to occasionally hold hands with and kiss. He wanted a genuine, healthy relationship with you. He wanted to be treated right, just this once.

But you, knowing about his past relationships, knew what he needed. And you were dedicated to showing him what actual loved looked like, what a real relationship felt like.

From dates at the roller-rink, to movie nights inside, you showed him that you could love him like how he needed to be loved. He needed to be shown that what he went through before wasn't normal and that you would never think to hurt him like people in his past did.

You made loving fun for him, he'd never smiled and had so much fun with someone, ever.

He loved making out with you in his new bedroom at the firehouse, and your soft kisses of reassurance when he was upset or stressed. He'd always find his stomach and lungs genuinely in pain from how much he laughed with you. He was infatuated with you, with holding your hand and caressing said hand with his thumb, with wrapping his arms around you to just hold you like that in silence.

His photos app is filled with pictures of you, over 500 through the past year. His lockscreen? A picture of you two at the county fair under dark blue neon lights.

He watches you sitting in the window, your body barely fitting onto the ledge. Thank God for bay windows, but christ, the people who made this building over 120 years ago needed some better architectural design here. What was the bay window for if not to sit in it?

He'd only woken up a bit ago, having been in the shower as you entered his room, awaiting his arrival. His family thankfully loved you, and would let you in no matter what.

"You look nice today," He comments, running a hand through his hair.

You turn to face him, raising an eyebrow. "Do I not usually look nice?"

"No, no, I mean, yeah! You always look nice!" He quickly sputters, "I-I like your shirt. Garbage, they're cool"

You lightly smile, reassured in his loyalty and kind-heartedness by his answer. "You're fine, Trev, I'm playing" You chuckle, "You've never even listened to Garbage"

You pull the sleeves of your undershirt down, feeling a cool wave hit your body like the wave of water at the beach. Your baggy jeans cover you perfectly as the sun peaks out from the clouds.

"You don't know that!" He exclaims, crossing his arms, "All your Spotify playlists are public, I can listen to whatever you are with a couple clicks"

"Okay, bud" You throw your hands up in a sarcastic annoyance. "Whatever you say, pal. I guess we gotta break u-" You quickly stop yourself, looking up at Trevor with slightly widened eyes. "Holy shit, I'm so sorry"

You quickly hop off the ledge of the window, your hands clenched into fists as you stand in front of him awkwardly, awaiting his reaction.

"I'm so sorry, that was uncalled for, I didn't mean to say that-"

"It's fine, Y/n/n" Trevor looks at you with a confused yet laid back expression. "Why are you apologizing?" He catches himself, finding the answer on his own, "Oh, well... it's not that big of a deal, it's okay" He shrugs, "It's fine"

"Sorry, uhm-"

Trevor quickly wraps you in a hug, resting his arms over your shoulders. "I love you, okay? I've never loved anyone so fun and amazing to me, joking about shit is fine"

You nod into his shoulder, "Sorry"

"It's okay" He chuckles, rubbing a hand over your back. "You're fine, it's alright"

"You're the fun one, by the way" You mumble.

"Hm?"

"You're the one who makes loving fun, Trev"

He silently smiles, his face flushing as he holds you a little tighter.

[thesimsresourceofficial]

Addressing the Recent Changes to TSR's Artist Program

Hi everyone,

I’m writing today to address the recent changes to TSR's Artist Program and the concerns that have been raised by members of our community. We understand that these changes have caused a lot of frustration, confusion, and disappointment. We want to provide full transparency about why these decisions were made, how they affect our current and future artists, and what this means for the TSR community moving forward.

Firstly, I want to apologise for the way the restructuring of the Artist Program was handled. I acknowledge that the communication our artists initially received could have been better. It was always our intention to follow up with support, feedback, and advice, which we are doing now. The communications for a loss of badge at TSR is structured, and I understand how this has created confusion and hurt. Please know that we are committed to maintaining an open line of communication with these former artists, we have been following up with all artists affected, and we will continue to support them in any way we can.

Why These Changes Were Necessary

TSR’s Artist Program, which has been home to nearly 200 talented paid artists, had not undergone a thorough evaluation in years. This lack of oversight led to a situation where the program became financially unstable and exposed to significant risk. Without proper management and planning in previous years, the program was not sustainable. If we hadn’t addressed these risks, it would have jeopardised the long-term viability of the program, threatening our ability to fairly compensate artists and sustain the community that depends on their creativity.

It’s also important to highlight that these financial constraints had prevented us from inviting new artists, promoting Select Artists or increasing pay for current artists, leaving over 100 talented creators waiting for up to 3 years for an opportunity to advance. 120 Artists have now finally been promoted, rewarded and acknowledged for their outstanding contribution to TSR, but unfortunately their achievements have been overshadowed by information spreading online.

Why This Was Done

The changes we implemented were not easy, nor were they taken lightly. The difficult decision to let some artists go was made to ensure that the program could continue to operate sustainably and support the 120+ artists who remain with us. Many of these artists rely on TSR for their livelihood, with some coming from countries where the additional support they receive from TSR is vital.

As part of our thorough evaluation process, we assessed the performance of each artist by analysing the value they brought to the platform relative to the investment made in their work. This included reviewing metrics such as engagement with their content per dollar spent. We deeply appreciate the work of our artists, but the financial outcomes unfortunately did not align with the investments that were being made, and we had to make difficult decisions based on these findings to ensure the overall sustainability of the program. In doing so, we were able to fairly compensate all remaining Artists.

Addressing Misinformation

We want to address the misinformation that has been spreading online. Some are claiming that more artists were let go than actually were. In reality, a number of the artists included in these rumors were not let go—they left on their own terms a few months ago. Furthermore, several of the artists who were let go had been inactive for longer than the agreed period and were fully aware of the terms they had agreed to. Some of the named Artists are actually still with us, and have been caught up in this for no reason at all other than by assumptions or a lack of research. It’s important to clarify that this is not a traditional job where someone is “fired.” TSR is a user-generated content platform that compensates artists generously based on their performance on our site.

Spreading incorrect information hurts the 120+ artists who are still part of our community. These creators have continued to pour their time, talent, and passion into their work, and they deserve your support too.

The communications with the former artists ensured they would still be paid for all remaining works they have done with us. It also included that if circumstances ever change, they would always be welcome back as an artist. We do not forget the hard work that has been done, and we do care.

Looking to the Future

Our evaluation process was thorough and took into account numerous factors, including each artist's contribution, consistency, quality of work, and the community's engagement with their creations. We are committed to maintaining a program that is fair, transparent, and supportive of our artists.

Moving forward, we will continue to refine the program to ensure it remains financially viable while fostering the incredible creativity of our artists, to prevent situations like this from happening again. We are also dedicated to providing a community where artists can thrive, receive the recognition they deserve, and be part of a vibrant, supportive environment.

Conclusion

This has been a challenging period for everyone involved, but we believe these changes were necessary to secure the future of TSR’s Artist Program. We remain committed to our artists, our community, and the values that TSR stands for. We hope you will continue to support our artists as we work to build a sustainable and thriving platform for creators.

Thank you for your understanding, your support, and your dedication to the TSR community.

Sincerely, Queenie, Creative Ops Manager, The Sims Resource

[batboyblog]

Things Biden and the Democrats did, this week #9

March 9-15 2024

The IRS launched its direct file pilot program. Tax payers in 12 states, Florida, New Hampshire, Nevada, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Washington, Wyoming, Arizona, Massachusetts, California and New York, can now file their federal income taxes for free on-line directly with the IRS. The IRS plans on taking direct file nation wide for next year's tax season. Tax Day is April 15th so if you're in one of those states you have a month to check it out.

The Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights opened an investigation into the death of Nex Benedict. the OCR is investigating if Benedict's school district violated his civil rights by failing to protect him from bullying. President Biden expressed support for trans and non-binary youth in the aftermath of the ruling that Benedict's death was a suicide and encouraged people to seek help in crisis

Vice President Kamala Harris became the first sitting Vice-President (or President) to visit an abortion provider. Harris' historic visit was to a Planned Parenthood clinic in St. Paul Minnesota. This is the last stop on the Vice-President's Reproductive Rights Tour that has taken her across the country highlighting the need for reproductive health care.

President Biden announced 3.3 billion dollars worth of infrastructure projects across 40 states designed to reconnect communities divided by transportation infrastructure. Communities often split decades ago by highways build in the 1960s and 70s. These splits very often affect communities of color splitting them off from the wider cities and making daily life far more difficult. These reconnection projects will help remedy decades of economic racism.

The Biden-Harris administration is taking steps to eliminate junk fees for college students. These are hidden fees students pay to get loans or special fees banks charged to students with bank accounts. Also the administration plans to eliminate automatic billing for textbooks and ban schools from pocketing leftover money on student's meal plans.

The Department of Interior announced $120 million in investments to help boost Climate Resilience in Tribal Communities. The money will support 146 projects effecting over 100 tribes. This comes on top of $440 million already spent on tribal climate resilience by the administration so far

The Department of Energy announced $750 million dollars in investment in clean hydrogen power. This will go to 52 projects across 24 states. As part of the administration's climate goals the DoE plans to bring low to zero carbon hydrogen production to 10 million metric tons by 2030, and the cost of hydrogen to $1 per kilogram of hydrogen produced by 2031.

The Department of Energy has offered a 2.3 billion dollar loan to build a lithium processing plant in Nevada. Lithium is the key component in rechargeable batteries used it electric vehicles. Currently 95% of the world's lithium comes from just 4 countries, Australia, Chile, China and Argentina. Only about 1% of the US' lithium needs are met by domestic production. When completed the processing plant in Thacker Pass Nevada will produce enough lithium for 800,000 electric vehicle batteries a year.

The Department of Transportation is making available $1.2 billion in funds to reduce decrease pollution in transportation. Available in all 50 states, DC and Puerto Rico the funds will support projects by transportation authorities to lower their carbon emissions.

The Geothermal Energy Optimization Act was introduced in the US Senate. If passed the act will streamline the permitting process and help expand geothermal projects on public lands. This totally green energy currently accounts for just 0.4% of the US' engird usage but the Department of Energy estimates the potential geothermal energy supply is large enough to power the entire U.S. five times over.

The Justice for Breonna Taylor Act was introduced in the Senate banning No Knock Warrants nationwide

A bill was introduced in the House requiring the US Postal Service to cover the costs of any laid fees on bills the USPS failed to deliver on time

The Senate Confirmed 3 more Biden nominees to be life time federal Judges, Jasmine Yoon the first Asian-America federal judge in Virginia, Sunil Harjani in Illinois, and Melissa DuBose the first LGBTQ and first person of color to serve as a federal judge in Rhode Island. This brings the total number of Biden judges to 185

[mysticstronomy]

WHAT IS "NOTHING" IN SPACE??

Blog#433

Wednesday, September 4th, 2024.

Welcome back,

We can define physical reality pragmatically as all that which exists in the cosmos, and there is no such thing as complete emptiness in it. Quite the opposite, it seems that the more we learn about nature, the busier space becomes. We can contemplate the idea of a metaphysical emptiness, a complete void where there is nothing. But these are concepts we make up, not necessarily things that exist. Even calling nothingness a “thing” makes it into something.

Leucippus and Democritus, the Greek philosophers credited with the invention of atomism — that everything is made of tiny bits of matter that cannot be divided — suggested the joint existence of atoms and the void. Atoms make up everything that exists, but they move in a complete emptiness, the void.

As an exercise in the always evolving way we figure things out about the world, we can make a list of the things we know fill up empty space. (The list does change. For example, 120 years ago, it would have included the ether, the medium in which light was supposed to propagate.)

Starting with classical physics, the key concept is that of a field. A field is a spatial manifestation of a source. If an object sensitive to the field is placed within its range, it will respond in some way, usually by being attracted to or repelled by the source that creates the field.

In classical physics we know of only two forces, gravitational and electromagnetic. Every object with mass attracts every other object. You attract and are attracted by everything that exists — by butterflies and whales, by the Sun and all the planets of this Solar System and across the Universe.

The intensity of an object’s gravitational field grows in proportion to its mass and decays with the square of the distance to it. In that sense, space is filled with interconnected fields that link us to the rest of the Universe.

Gravitational fields extend their threads to all corners of space. Since fields carry energy, we can say that space is filled with the energy of these gravitational fields. Electromagnetic fields also have energy, of course. But since electric and magnetic forces can be attractive and repulsive, they usually are neutralized and rarely manifest themselves at great distances.

At the quantum level, space gets even busier. Indeed, quantum physics tells us there is no such thing as zero energy. In the world of atoms and subatomic particles, movement is constant, and there is an energy associated with a particle’s residual motion called zero point energy, or vacuum energy.

If we now connect this fact to the famous E=mc2 formula, which states that energy and matter may be interconvertible, it is possible for particles of matter to spring out from the energy of the vacuum — the energy of empty space.

The Universe itself could emerge in this way, as we have discussed. The fact that matter may come out of what we would call “nothing” shows that the “nothing” of quantum physics is far from a complete void. Virtual particles appear and disappear like bubbles in a boiling soup. In the current view of quantum physics, the void bubbles continuously with the creation and destruction of matter particles.

We met the concept of fields in classical physics, but it carries over to quantum physics with even more dramatic effects. We no longer refer to particles, in fact, but to the fields that create them. An electron or a proton is an excitation of the electron or the proton fields, respectively, like small waves drifting on the surface of a lake.

Particles are pictured as knots of energy moving in their fields, with physical properties like mass.

The physical picture that emerges is that of space filled with quantum fields that boil up with real and virtual particles. As the Fox said to the Little Prince in Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s fable, “What is essential is invisible to the eyes.” This is as true for love and friendship as it is for the “nothingness” of space.

Originally published on https://bigthink.com

COMING UP!!

(Saturday, September 7th, 2024)

"WHY IS EVERYTHING IN SPACE ALWAYS MOVING??"

[azzibuckets]

Paper Rings [Part 5/10 | Paige Bueckers]

paige bueckers x fem!reader

summary: the morning after

a/n: i love making people cry so some pretty angsty stuff up ahead 😁 forgive me for turning paige into a slight asshole

word count: 1.8k

masterlist w/ all parts

FLASHBACK: 1 YEAR AGO

The green LED light on Paige’s alarm clock blinked 3:07 AM. Paige had been up for the past two hours. Tossing and turning seemed like the right phrase, but she didn’t want to wake you, so all the turmoil stayed inside her head.

A burst of warmth ran through her body and flooded her senses whenever she looked at you. You were curled up against her side, lightly snoring. You looked so soft in the moonlight, and Paige wanted to take a photo of you like this and ingrain it inside her brain. But her mind’s been running non stop for the past 120 minutes, overcome with regret over what you two had just done.

Paige had always known of her tendencies. She wouldn’t call herself a player, because she never intentionally led girls on. She always made it clear to her one night stands what they were - a hookup, with no strings attached. But some girls never seemed to get it. Every so often there would be someone who got attached to Paige after just one night together and ended up leaving her apartment in tears, cursing her name. She hated when that happened, hated seeing them cry.

So she vowed to herself never to sleep with you. Not because she didn’t want you, because God knows how many sleepless nights she spent in this very bed, dreaming about the pink of your lips and the curve of your hips. But because she knew how complicated things would get. Your friendship was the one thing that had remained stable in Paige’s life the past few years. There mere thought of losing you made her heart pound and head throb.

So Paige had stayed strong. Never mind all those moments where her hands had lingered on your waist a little too long, or the fact that the wallpaper of her lock screen and home screen were both pictures with you, or the fact that you were the only person pinned on her messages app besides her family. She knew she couldn’t have you.

Paige brushed a strand of hair from your eyes, letting the pad of her thumb trail down your cheek. You stirred in your sleep, a smile drifting faintly across your lips, and shifted closer to her, burying your face in her abdomen. And in that moment, Paige realized two things.

#1. She was in love with you. Yeah, she’d always loved you as a friend. You were thoughtful and supportive, a best friend a person could ask for. But beyond that, you made her feel seen. To you, Paige wasn’t just a basketball player or a pretty face. You had broken through her barriers and made the effort to know her on every level, and that was what Paige in love with you.

#2. She didn’t deserve you. Paige thought back to all those times she’d canceled on movie nights because somehow she’d ended up again at the bar with her teammates, flirting with pretty girls while the prettiest girl sat alone in her room. Or when she’d briefly dated Anna, who had apparently been cold to you for their entire relationship, always making snide comments when Paige wasn’t around. But you had saw how happy Paige was (but not as happy as she was whenever she was with you), and had kept silent, not wanting to ruin Paige’s relationship. And even though Paige had broken up with Anna as soon as she’d found out about her behavior, she couldn’t quiet the voices in her head blaming her for letting someone treat you like that. You were the best person in the world, Paige thought. And you deserve someone who can give you all of that. Not me.

So after having come to those two conclusions, Paige knew what she had to do.

——————————-

You woke up in a daze. Checking your phone, you realized it was only 8 AM. Tired, you slumped back into the pilllow. The events of last night only came back to you when you moved the sheets of Paige’s bed and saw your bra.

You couldn’t help but smile as memories of fisted sheets, shaking legs, and hands intertwined in each other’s hairs came flooding back. You pressed your fingers to your lips, the lips that Paige had kissed over and over again just hours before. You and Paige had slept together, and everything had felt so right. And god, that was the best head you’d ever gotten.

Getting up, you heard clattering in the kitchen and footsteps outside. Assuming it was Paige, you didn’t bother to cover up when the door swung open, but your mouth fell open when you came face to face with Azzi.

“Oh my god!” Azzi shrieked. Both of you stared at each other for a second before you grabbed the comforter off Paige’s bed to cover your body. “Get out, get out, get out!” you yelled.

Azzi slammed the door. Heart beating fast, you rushed to find your clothes. “Did I just see what I thought I saw?” Azzi yelled from the other side of the door.

“Azzi Fudd, I will smack you,” you yelled back as you started to pull on your jeans.

“Did you and Paige sleep together?” She screamed. “Oh my god, she’ll kill me if she finds out I walked in on you like this.”

You fiddled with the buttons on your jeans. “That’s why we’re gonna keep this a secret. You’re not gonna tell anyone we slept together.”

“What?! But now Aaliyah and Nika owe me twenty dollars,” she complained.

You tugged on your shirt. “I’m gonna pretend that you didn’t just tell me that three of our closest friends made a bet on us sleeping together.” You opened the door and glared at a sheepish Azzi. “Now where the hell is Paige?”

“I dunno. I heard her leaving an hour ago. I thought I was home alone. You scared the shit out of me,” Azzi side eyed your sex and bed hair, and you ran your hand through it, trying to make it look less messy. “So, how was it?” Azzi leaned towards you with a sly smirk on her face. “Was it good?”

“Oh my god, Azzi.” You pushed her out of the way and grabbed your purse from the couch. “I’m leaving. You better keep your mouth shut.”

“No promises!” Azzi called after you, cackling as you left the apartment.

—————————

5 DAYS LATER

“Open the fucking door, Bueckers.” You rapped on the door of Paige’s apartment, impatiently tapping your foot as you waited.

After you heard noises from inside but she still refused to open the door, you knocked even harder. “I know you’re in there, asshole. Azzi told me you’ve been in here the entire day.”

Finally the door swung open, and I laid eyes on Paige for the first time since we’d slept together 5 days ago. Her hair was in a messy low bun, and she was wearing her grey UConn sweatpants and a sports bra. You ignored the blush that rose from your neck from seeing her bare abdomen, all sculpted and taut, and instead glared at her.

“What the fuck, Paige? You haven’t responded to any of my texts and calls in the last week. Are you seriously ghosting me?” You pushed past her into the apartment.

Paige stared at you, still not saying anything. The last five days had been hell. You knew that sleeping with your best friend would change things. It would be awkward, and unsure, but you and Paige have always been able to figure everything out. So you didn’t expect for her to drop all communication with you, leaving you alone in bed the morning after and then ignoring all your attempts to talk to her after.

Paige smirked at you, but it wasn’t tantalizing and seductive like the last time you saw her. It was sharp, calculated, like she knew something that you didn’t. “Damn, I was that good, wasn’t I?”

“Paige, I need you to be serious right now.” Your voice was rising in pitch, your frustration showing. “We need to talk about us.”

Paige folded her arms, and she had never looked so distant. “What is there to talk about?”

You pushed her, not hard, but enough for her to stumble back. “Okay, so you fucked your best friend, and now you don’t even wanna talk about it?”

Paige swallowed, and she looked away. “We lost in the Final Four that night.”

“Yeah, so?” Your face was flushed red with anger, and you felt hot all over. “What’s that gotta do with anything?”

She turned back to look at you. Her face was impassive now, and you wondered at who this girl in front of you was. It seemed like you didn’t even know her, this version of Paige. “It was a tough game,” she said curtly. “I needed to blow off some steam, and you were there.”

I needed to blow off some steam, and you were there.

You physically recoiled. Those words resounded in your mind, ricocheting from every corner, repeating itself until you went numb. You tasted something bitter in your mouth, a confirmation of what you had been worrying yourself sick about 24/7 for the past several days. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

Paige regarded you coolly. “I’m starting to get the feeling that you thought that night was a declaration of love or something. I mean yeah, you weren’t bad for your first time, but it was just sex.”

A jumble of something terrible and bitter began brewing in your stomach. It was a mixture of anger, and horror, and shock and pain, threatening to spill over. You didn’t know whether you wanted to sob or throw up. That night you had basically admitted to Paige that you had wanted her for so long but…had you been so foolish to believe that she actually liked you back?

“You’re really nothing but a slut, huh,” you scoffed. You felt like a dagger was stabbing you, brutally piercing you in the heart as those words were spit from your mouth, but you were so angry, so furious, you couldn’t stop. “You don’t care about anything but getting laid. You’re so fucking shallow.”

For a moment, you thought you saw hurt flash through Paige’s eyes. But she quickly recovered, and her face turned stony again. “I’m not the one who was like a little fan girl, so desperate that you jumped on me as soon as I gave you the chance.” Her lip curled.

We, whatever we were, were over, and we both knew it. We were throwing out insults, maiming each other in an attempt to mollify our own hurt. We were drowning, and you knew it, god you knew it, your lungs felt on fire and you felt like you were losing everything in my life all at once. And you were too weak to stop it. Too cowardly to apologize, to take all your words back, to tell her you loved her so much, that you would be willing to stay friends and only friends and ignore the fact that you were heads over heels for her, just so she would stay in your life and you could go back to what you were before you made the most stupid decision of your lives.

But none of that came out. Instead, you said words that you didn’t mean.

“Don’t talk to me ever again, Bueckers. I fucking hate you.”

“Gladly.”