#ONE MORE LEFT TO GO WOW
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thefrogdalorian · 11 months ago
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Dincember Day 24: Ice
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Word Count: 2006 Rating: General Summary: The unseasonably weather on Nevarro causes a pond to freeze and thanks to a stroke of good luck, a passing vendor is able to offer the opportunity to skate on it. You expect that Din will be a natural, but things do not go entirely to plan. Content Warnings: None! Author's Note: This one followed on closely from yesterday's entry! Just one more left now, I can't believe it! Hope you enjoyed it. Ice skating is scary.
Link to read on AO3 | My Dincember Masterlist
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It seemed as though the entire population of Nevarro had had the same idea as you and Din. That was, to go for a walk along the planet’s gleaming, frozen surface and marvel at the unseasonable weather that had covered the entire planet in a deep frost. You nodded politely at the townsfolk you passed, Din was turning more than a few heads – as he always did when leaving the house in his beskar'gam. But rather than shyness, you felt incredibly proud that Din was on your arm, wearing a red scarf that matched yours and Grogu’s coats. The way the three of you matched and walked in step with each other showed any admiring onlookers that the shiny Mandalorian already had a family of his own.
That didn’t stop the admiring, awestruck looks though. Especially the numerous wonderstruck looks Din was getting from the children. You smiled at them, enjoying the way they gazed at Din as though he was the most incredible thing in the entire galaxy. To you, of course, he was. You felt so thrilled to know that he was yours.
You were just approaching the crest of a hill, about to head over it and check whether the small lake had frozen over - like your pond outside the cabin - when a familiar voice stopped you and Din in your tracks.
“Mando!” High Magistrate Greef Karga called, bounding towards you with a smile on his face. “It seems like our unseasonable weather might actually have something to do with you!”
“Really?” Din said, dropping your hand as he went to clasp Greef’s arm and shake it in traditional Mandalorian greeting.
“All that hell you raised back with the pirates, we think perhaps it altered the orbit of the planet slightly, pushed us into a path that made this deep frost possible,” Greef explained. “I don’t know whether to thank you or kill you, given the crops that have been destroyed. But oh the townsfolk are so happy! You really must see this.”
Greef gestured for the three of you to follow him and you made it over the top of the crest of the hill. The sight before you was incredible. Down below there were tens of Nevarrians, skating across the frozen surface. Families and adults alike, some gliding across the ice effortlessly and other, more clumsy skaters who were unsteady on their feet were taking more than a few tumbles. Your eyes lit up at the sight, you had not been skating for so many years but it looked like so much fun.
“Will you join us for some skating?” Greef asked as the three of you made it towards the bottom of the hill.
“Well… it’s been a while…” Din said hesitantly.
“Oh, come on Mando!” Greef exclaimed. “It’s almost Life Day!”
Din sighed, the sound magnified by his vocoder. He looked around at you, clearly hoping that you would put an end to this awful idea. But of course, you were just as enthusiastic as Greef.
“We’d love to! I’m surprised you had skates here, considering how unseasonable this weather is,” You remarked, raising your eyebrows as Greef pointed you in the direction of the makeshift booth that had been set up, where the skates could be hired from.
“Well, it’s actually a stroke of luck,” Greef explained. “One of the vendors from the market that visits weekly manufactures and sells skates. Of course, she didn’t have them out for sale here, but once the frost set in, she knew a good business opportunity when she saw one.”
“Wow, that really is remarkable,” You nodded, before adding to Din, once Greef was out of earshot: “Guess it really is a Life Day miracle.”
Din shook his head and huffed at you and you smiled, delighting in the way you could make him cringe from your cheesiness. Your favourite Mandalorian was not a party pooper by any means, you knew that deep down, Din was incredibly excited for Life Day. But there was a limit to his festive cheer, and you loved pushing him to it. 
“Let me watch this little one for you,” Greef said, holding his arms out to take Grogu who chirped happily at the older man.
“Probably for the best,” You nodded as Din handed him over. “He already had an incident on the ice of the frozen pond outside our house today.”
Greef took Grogu and the two of them made their way over to greet a few of the townsfolk who were standing by the ice and watching the skaters. You suspected that Greef was going to use Grogu’s cuteness to glean some good will from his people. You smiled as you watched them, before heading to the booth to rent skates for you and Din.
After lacing your skates up on a bench next to the makeshift booth that rented out the skates, it was time to take your first tentative steps towards the ice. You could tell how nervous Din was, despite the fact he was doing his best not to show it. You were not an expert skater yourself by any means, having a few experiences here and there. But it had been many years ago and you were not sure how well you remembered how to skate. Din on the other hand, you had expected would be a natural, with his agility and fighting abilities, surely he would be able to handle a little bit of ice skating.
You had expected that you would be clinging onto Din’s arm for support, but as it transpired it was the other way around. You were a far more confident skater than Din, who clung to your arm with both hands so tightly that you feared he might leave bruises. His visor was pointed firmly towards the ice too, there was no way he could see what he was doing.
“Din, you need to look up,” You said gently to him, encouraging him to take in his surroundings.
“Can’t. Feel like I’m going to fall,” Din squeaked in response.
“You won’t fall, I’ve got you. But you need to look up to see where you’re going, I can’t be the eyes for both of us. We’ll knock someone over!” You encouraged him.
“Fine,” Din huffed and straightened his body up so his helmet could see.
“See, it’s not so bad, is it?” You said reassuringly. 
“It is!” Din exclaimed. “Now I can see exactly how far I have to fall! Plus, how do we know we won’t go through?”
“They must have drilled it to check,” You said, trying to suppress your laughter at how terrified your big, tough-looking Mandalorian looked. “You won’t fall, see, just move your feet like this,” You said as you demonstrated the correct motion, “And you should get the hang of it.”
Din didn’t seem convinced, but after a few more strokes of his skates, he seemed to be getting the hang of things. Slowly, his vice-like grip on your arm loosened and after a few more moments, he let go of your arm completely. 
“That’s it!” You exclaimed proudly as Din made his way around the ice on shaky legs, with his arms circling around to maintain his balance. It was not quite the graceful gliding of some skaters on the ice, but he was doing much better than you had expected, given his shaky start.
Things were going so well, Din had stopped moving his arms around and wobbling unsteadily on his feet. He was really beginning to get the hang of it, you watch him proudly in disbelief that he had gotten so used to skating in such a short time. Din was beginning to glide around like a natural. Things were going so well. Too well.
It did not take long for the progress Din had made to come to a grinding halt. Literally. You watched as everything seemed to slow down, a man who was clearly out of control went hurtling towards Din. At the last second, he attempted to swerve, and it seemed as though a catastrophic collision had been averted. But alas, it was too little, too late. Din was sent hurtling to the ground with a sickening crash, the Beskar of his armour giving a sickening clang as he hit the ice.
“Din!” You shouted, skating furiously to the scene of the collision, where Din was lying sprawled out on the icy surface. “Din are you alright?” You said concernedly, as you knelt over him, reaching down to Din’s side so you could take his hand in yours. You squeezed it tightly.
“I’m… fine,” Din grunted, his voice straining.
“I’m so sorry,” The man who had skated into Din offered his apologies as he righted himself and skated over to check on the person he had collided with. Surprisingly, considering both the speed at which he had collided with Din and the fact that he was wearing such solid armour, the man seemed relatively unscathed. It was another Life Day miracle.
“It’s okay, accidents happen,” You smiled sympathetically. 
“Thank you, have a good Life Day,” The man offered, and then he was gone, skating off back to the booths. You watched him skate away and he seemed remarkably coordinated, which made it all the more surprising that he had collided with Din. 
“Ready to sit up?” You asked Din, who nodded weakly. You held your hand out to him and pulled him up. 
“I can’t skate any more,” Din groaned as he made his way to his feet, placing his arm around your neck.
“Alright, get behind me and hold on,” You said, Din took your advice and wrapped his arms around your waist. You set off, skating at such a slow speed due to Din’s weight being attached to you and also out of respect for how shaken up Din must be feeling.
Finally, the two of you made it to the edge of the ice. You sat Din down on the bench and then unlaced his boots for him. You went to return them and when you came back, Grogu and Greef had made their way over to the Mandalorian who had taken such a tumble. 
“Mando! That was quite a fall. Are you alright?” Greef Karga said, concernedly. 
“Hatu!” Grogu added as he Force-leapt out of Din’s arms and onto his lap.
“I’m fine, buddy,” Din said to reassure his son, his deep voice gruff from the exertion of his skating experience.
“Thank you for inviting us to skate, High Magistrate,” You said to Greef Karga, appreciatively. “I think some of us enjoyed it more than others,” You paused and nodded to Din. “Have a great Life Day.”
“You’re welcome, I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Greef replied. “I hope Mando isn’t hurt too badly and the two of you have a wonderful time tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Greef,” Din nodded as he stood to his feet on shaky legs and shook hands with the High Magistrate once again.
Then, it was time for the two of you to gingerly climb the frost-covered hill and make your way back to the cabin so that Din could spend a relaxing evening recovering from his tumble ahead of the big day tomorrow. Din wrapped his arm around your shoulders and the two of you shuffled slowly up the hill. You smirked and shook your head. 
Din had been so excited by the frost but it seemed that both he and his son had come off worse for wear after their escapades on the ice. The weather that had been such a remarkable sight, that you had joked had been a miracle, had been nothing of the sort for Din and Grogu. You sighed and held Din’s hand, that was hanging limply just by your shoulder, as the two of you made it back to your cabin.
You couldn’t wait to get home and get warm and comfortable, so your favourite Mandalorians could recover from their less-than pleasant experiences on the ice.
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carrotchipper · 11 months ago
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More tarot life cards. Bdubs, his moms, and Mumbo.
Grian - Scott - Pearl - Martyn
Jimmy - Scar - Joel
Lizzie - Ren - BigB
Skizz - Impulse - Etho - Tango
Lovers - Fortune - Death - Judgement
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checkadii · 2 months ago
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mfs do anything but finish their wips . like startign another, for example
#trigun sky au. because i can.#light-guide (mainly) vash . usually assumed to be either isle or valley born. witnessed the fall#realm-guide wolfwood . isle born. very fond of moths/sparrows#vault scribes(?) meryl and milly . both vault born but people sometimes assume milly to be of prairie. they document spirit tradition-#slash seasons slash events idk anyting to do w preservation im thinking#knives and vash are light twins...#eden-guide knives... people assume hes vault born or somethinf. also witnessed the fall and is not very fond of spirits#hes a huge fucking fan of both creatures of light and darkness though#slander a dark dragon near him he will jump you . slash jay. . slash not j#angry at the whole industrialization thing that turned forest to what it is#see the fun thing about taking a game that doesnt have very very deep lore sans concept art (WHIHCH IM STILL SO FUCKING SAD ABT. ITS SO???)#is that you can just throw whatever at it to your liking#FOR EXAMPLE. SHARD RAINS? THAT WAS PART OF MY SKY UNIVERSE WAY BEFORE SHATTERING . THAT WAS WHAT CAUSSED THE FALL PARTIALLY SHFJHFHG#anyways s more or less implied that there was some form of mineral extraction in forest#and the rain there has literally no reason to drain your light . waters fine and everythnig. so something happened#and the trees looking so dead etc presence of crabs and gloomy skies in contrast to the brighter ones of previous areas#vash and knives occasionally do eden guiding together#iuhhhhhdk . i think wolfwood would but specifically for skykids who are going through their first run#milly and meryl at the season of remembrance..#meryl fond of valley races in secret milly big fan of tournaments they both ice skate at the dreams village and visit performance theater#because i SAY SO#brad luida home. vault born mostly vault dwellers see season of remembrance. uh idk big on trying to understand and improve technology#and contraptions left behind by spirits#“wow mr vash mr knives . you both sure do know the ins and outs of the realms!” and they both give eachother looks like WE WERE THERE WHEN#THE KINGDOM IN THE SKY FELL#rems a spirit beeteedubs .#twins thought they were the first skykids. stage whisper tesla#mhhhhhh vash loses his arm to a shard....#think. the plant trio all have like... a higher concentration of light than even creatures of light themselves#gate equivalent ig?
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d8tl55c · 6 months ago
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scene of programmer021 throwing together the code for the first TCOs: "what if i just give them 100% in all stats lmao."
releases one into a sandbox*
sandbox bricked irretrievably within 3 minutes
ho-ly shit.
..... that's hilarious.
they try like ten more times, each with the same outcome. the little worm is good at what it does, scary good, and programmer is grateful that they went the extra mile with the sandbox layer of protection from it.
at a safe distance, the TCOs are brilliant sparring partners.
*(basically a mini computer running inside of (but held separately from) another computer) (used to test new features without risking a whole system)
it looks at them.
on the twelfth go, they've learned enough of its tricks to have more of a chance. both of them take a moment after a long scuffle to catch their breaths. the stick figure gasps on the floor - it's amazing! so lifelike! and programmer is celebrating this little victory for the field of recreational AI right up until
TCO #12 turns its hollow face out through the screen, looking at them.
programmer is unsettled.
can it see them?
their webcam is off.
surely it's impossible?
right?
and yet, it seems to see them regardless, because not only does it react to their reaction (little twitches eerily realistic, how did their program know to do those things), it capitalizes on their shock. it springs to its feet while they're still open-mouthed and reaches the walls of the sandbox window (which programmer had been herding them away from at all costs), crashing against the side, rebounding, and hitting them again and again.
programmer flails to reconnect to their Cursor (you know when you forget where it is and have to wave it around before you can use it again? like that, but with even more panic, confusion, and imminent peril).
there are cracks in a multitude of funny colors forming at the edge of the sandbox instance. pieces of the window dent out of its normal bounding box. The Chosen One adapts instantly, focusing its hits toward the weak points.
WTF! this has gone way too far.
programmer's Cursor swoops around from out of nowhere and catches the TCO by the base of its head. it tries to breathe fire and only manages strangled puffs of smoke. its legs kick the air. where once it was so elegant and poised it twists and writhes-
programmer drops it.
they feel cold.
their Cursor retreats outside the walls of the sandbox PC, clicking into the main system's File Explorer. already open is the folder with this sandbox, its partition of storage, and setup files inside.
they click it. press Delete on their keyboard.
the TCO tries to stand. it pushes through a dizzy spell, one hand holding the spot under its head that must be its neck, and sprints toward the breach it was working on.
a confirmation pane appears, from the process responsible for running the sandbox.
its arms are strong, but the more TCO_12 struggles the more it's clear that this wall would need way more firepower and concerted effort... and time... to break. it's out of time. it realizes this.
are you sure you want to end this process? ALL data will be lost.
programmer sees when it loses hope, because it abandons the wall. it abandons the whole game: the pride and dignity it fought with, the play-pretend that it held any real power here. it turns outward again, toward the screen. small hands slam against the barrier between them, knock-knocking faster, faster, please please please, its legs shake and give out but it keeps knocking, on its knees, please please please please PLEASE
the sandbox is deleted.
the window that displayed it freezes, lighting up too-bright and desaturated.
a snapshot of the TCO is frozen in place, begging for...
begging for what? it was never meant to know anything. to want anything. how did it know there was anything outside its reality to want?
or was it simply afraid to die?
Windows catches up, and sweeps the frozen program away.
programmer021 is left alone with the spot where TCO_12 used to be.
their friends want to play with their latest stick figures. they were supposed to update today.
programmer numbly uploads the most recent release build they have. killer and BEAST were fun to work on. they'll warn everyone not to touch TCO until.... until programmer works out how to... until ever, and if one of them does, it'll be their own fault.
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thelostgirl21 · 8 months ago
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I'm late to the party like you wouldn't believe, but I've got to say something, because I'm so upset!
Okay, unpopular opinion, I actually loved Jaskier's Season 3 hair!
Was it always perfectly styled? No. There were a few scenes where I personally thought it could have used a bit more volume, or a bit more volume in some places while a bit less in others; but, most or the time, I was more than fine with it, and thought it suited Jaskier well!
At times, I literally adored it!
Ex:
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To me, those are moments where I thought Jaskier looked his best in the series! Loved the hair!
Then again, personally, I tend to prefer Joey's looks with his forehead cleared and his hair longer.
Like, this is I think one of the most gorgeous non-feral hairstyles I've ever seen on him:
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(X)
This is an absolutely gorgeous man, and I personally prefer his hair styled like this than short.
(Note: I'm not saying he's not beautiful with short hair, too, simply stating personal preferences. Certain aesthetic choices are based on comfort, too, and he can 100% afford to sacrifice the "long haired look" for something that makes him feel more comfortable. He can rock plenty of different looks!)
Then, of course, there's the feral look that is just in its own category...
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So why am I upset?
I've just found out that he didn't wear a wig in Season 3!
That Jaskier's Season 3 hair were simply Joey's own hair that he had decided to grow out.
And look, I'm fine with everyone having preferences!
That's not my issue. Having your own tastes and not being a fan of Joey's Season 3 hairstyle is not the issue at all!
There were posts simply mentioning that they hated that it looked so flat, when we could have been graced with something a bit more like this:
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And I do get preferences when it comes to styling.
It's just that I recall how - since people assumed it was "an ugly wig" that had been forced on his head by the wig department, rather than what they considered "a bad hairstyle" - the comments on "Jaskier's hair" were at times downright nasty!
And I just gotta get out of my system that those of you that have been literally making fun of his "sudden 4-inches receeding hairline" (first I'll have you know I find receeding hairline pretty hot!), when it's kinda remained the same for 3 seasons (it's called BANGS people. Joey tends to wear those with his shorter haircuts! Look it up!), for example, really suck!
His hairline has always gone pretty far up on each side, even in some of his earlier work... Ex: Gopher in "Mount Pleasant" (2016):
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Like he's got very thick hair that form a "V" shape at the top (my mom had that, but I didn't inherit it... And we've got tons of hair... Like, a lot! * ) and a pretty large forehead.
*
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(That's me at 18, and then at 28 - before I brought them back to a lower back length - but my mom is the same in terms of thickness, she just has that V in the front I lack, and it never receeded any further in her life.)
And there would be no shame in having thin hair, or any form of baldness anyway!
So yeah! I remember sort of heavily ignoring all those "ugly wig" comments because I, too, had assumed it was a wig (turns out Joey's hair seem to be a bit like mine, and grow pretty fast), and at some point you choose your battles.
Did I think a bunch of you were immature assholes for needing to hate on that "ugly wig" so much? Yes. But you find those in any fandom!
Personally, I thought "the wig" was awesome!
But now, I kinda regret not having taken the time to be more supportive of Jaskier's Season's 3 hair given I actually like it...
Because that's just a (very sweet) human being's hair, that was styled in a way that a number of people didn't like.
Again, zero problem for those that thought it was badly styled, and that the look didn't suit Jaskier!
Critiquing what you find a "bad hairstyle" is no cause for shame!
But, for those of you that took it to the next level with all those "ugly wig" comments, you fucking suck, I sure hope you've since found out that you'd been openly ridiculing a fellow human being's real hair, that it makes you feel like complete pieces of shit, and that feeling like complete pieces of shit is going to help you learn from your mistakes, before you start attacking other people's personal physical features in the future!
"Well, I didn't know!"
Here's today's lesson:
When you don't know, please kindly shut up and assume the hair you see is the real thing!
Or critique the wig like you would a real hairstyle, asking yourself "Hmm... Is describing someone's real hair the way I do going to make me sound like a bully?"
Like I said, I'm aware I'm pretty late to the party, but the the kid in me that got heavily bullied in school over her own hair really needed to get it out of her system!
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thatonecrookedsmile · 3 months ago
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"Effective today, you are dismissed from any employment at Joey Drew Studios. This is due to complaints received about the grim and disturbing subjects of your work. May your dreams come true somewhere else."
[Opportunity is always just a step away from you]
"Gent Corporation looking for research subjects. Pays three fifty a week."
[When one story ends,so does another unfold]
-Umbrella-
-----
My participation in an Ink Demonth would not be complete without at least 1 drawing that takes a few days to complete.
I've had this idea in my head for a while, so this prompt was a good opportunity to put it into action. Featuring Riley Wells and Alan Gray.
I don't remember if I've ever drawn a rainy scene before. This was a first attempt. I liked it, actually. I think it worked for what I wanted in the end. (Thanks old tutorial from 2004) (The raindrops running down the umbrellas I had to learn by myself. Probably not the best thing possible, but better than nothing).
I'm happy with the overall atmosphere of the drawing and how it turned out. I think I managed to encapsulate the original vision I had in my head. I kind of messed it up during the process but I managed to turn it around and get it how I really wanted it.
When it comes to Riley and her joining Gent: all things considered, it would make more sense that she ended up at Gent in a similar way to what Archie Carter talked about in his audio log. She probably found a newspaper about Gent looking for test subjects and decided to go with it. She may have met Alan for the first time when she started working there, no doubt. Rather than meeting him before she joined the company in a "he was the one who offered her the job" situation, as I showed above.
I only went with this second scenario just because I found it more interesting to draw. And I wanted to touch on the possibility of Alan offering the chance to work as a test subject directly for certain people (without saying too much about the darker details of the job, of course). It's kind of evil, but at the same time, so is Gent (shockingly/j), so it's all good. (Realizing now that I may be making shit up for a character that has yet to be characterized. If this isn't the Bendy experience I don't know what is) Also, poor girl, she was fired from a shitty company and went to get a job at another shitty company. How sad.
Also, as an addendum, I don't know if their heights are 100% accurate. My vision for my Alan design is that he's a tall guy. Taller than Joey and, for that matter, Riley. When I was drawing him I realized he wasn't that tall and I had to resize him in the end. And Riley I never thought about how tall she is. Maybe her height here is a little off-model. So, don't take this drawing as my definitive vision of how tall they are. Because I don't even know for sure lol.
Next drawing is simpler so it probably won't take too long. I hope.
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#bendy and the dark revival#batdr#bendy: secrets of the machine#bsotm#bendy sotm#riley wells#alan gray#the ink demonth#crookedsmileart#something something if I had a coin for every time a mascot horror game announced this year had the acronym SOTM#blah blah blah you know the joke already#Prompt was a good opportunity to not only draw Riley#But also my design of Alan Gray during the 40s.#I already drew him in the BATDR-B3NDY era (in this case; older)#So all that was left was to show him when he was a little “younger”#At a time when he still had hair to make a ponytail (not shown here)#One day I'll draw his ponytail. I had originally created my design of him with the ponytail in mind so it's reasonable.#I was going to draw him with a tie but I changed it to a turtleneck just to better differentiate the designs from the 40's and the 70's.#It's like his hat and how he doesn't wear it in the 40's but in the BATDR era he does. (he's going bald 😔)#wow I'm actually making stuff up for a character who doesn't have any characterization yet; how crazy#what a speedrun lol. but someone would have to do it first. and that someone is me.#plus; let's be honest; this kind of thing doesn't only apply to characters with no/little characterization#people do this even with the most popular ones/those who have more personalities; that's reality I would say#I diverted the conversation to something different once again; oops. sorry guys#also also the description may be a little disconnected from the prompt; I admit. sorry about that one too!
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kinamysa · 9 months ago
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Had these memes in mind for the past 2 months, so I hadda make 'em
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carcarrot · 5 months ago
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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job
#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me#oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving#but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done#and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be#and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything#and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else#and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch#and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me#that i wont find an easier job than this one#well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else#by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think#which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free#and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok#i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god#but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face#and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus#anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore#but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh
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raininyourblackeyes · 1 year ago
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My cousin, a published writer, a well-known poet in my country and a literature professor, for whom I've always been no.1 support ever since her first attempts at writing in high school, told me that I must stop writing as a hobby because that's her thing and since I'm writing fantasy mostly my writing could never have any important artistic value anyways.
#what happened was that i was feeling really down these past few days#like mental health dead in mariana trench#and i went to visit her because she lives like 10 minutes away and has a cat i can play with#but yesterday morning a friend of mine made a fanart (i guess i can call it that) of a fanfic i am writing for the five of them#she sent it to me and said she's also working on an actual painting on a camvas of her fave scene from my original story#and i was so surprised and exicted#that's actually a too mild description#and when i was visitting my cousin i showed her the pic of the drawing on my phone and explained it to her and she just said ....ehh..#and started texting someone#i was sitting there feeling stupid and thinking wow you could have at least praised my friend's art sytle or something#and when i was getting ready to leave she asked me if i was aware my writing has no artistic merit and fantasy is trivial literature#so i should just stop wasting time on that and focus on developing my art style more for her future poetry collections#i do the art for her book covers#and added how we already have an established writer in the family so i should focus on my role - becoming a good pharmacist#and she knows how much i hate that i'm studying pharmacy like it's the no.1 cause of me hating the direction in which my life is going#finished it off by saying she feels like what she's doing in going to be really great and important on a large scale one day#and how she wants me to continue being her shadow that follows and supports her#i left went home and started at a wall for hours#i just feel so dumb for getting excited over a silly drawing of something not more than 5 people will ever read#i genuinely hate the idea of people reading anything i write so most likely writing will just remain a hobby for me#and now i feel like the most stupid person on earth and am this close to deleting all my word documents from both my laptops
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sherlock-is-ace · 7 months ago
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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment#wow#i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying#if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time#and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted#so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself#because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to#go in myself either way was way worse to me#because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to#''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever#and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in#and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed#although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous#but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this#that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...
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tigergender · 15 days ago
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I like going back over early SU episodes and thinking about them too hard until my blood vessels in my brain pop. I enjoy the show as much as I did when I was younger but I think my enjoyment has shifted from "watching Steven go on exciting magical adventures" to "watching the horrible threads of everything that encompasses Steven in SU:F betray themselves through innocuous interactions and episodes."
#august.chr#nyways i think it's fun rewatching season 1 especially bc WOW steven is a sheltered kid#it's really amazing to me how steven is so out of touch with both the gem side and the human side of his life#steven doesn't go to school or the doctor or know his family members or have any friends his age (b4 connie) except#the local food service workers (one of whom bullies him) and the mailman. also he grew up in a van for years#but also steven is lampshaded from things like garnet's abilities and the gem war and the kindergarten and he had never really been on#a real mission before. and despite living in the house for presumably at least a few years he doesnt really know abt the temple#nor does he know abt things as basic as like. fusion. or poofing#it feels like greg and the gems in an effort to spare steven from the more painful details of being a person and about being a gem#left the kid with a deeply flawed framework for what constitutes as 'normal'#like idk it just makes me sad. there's a reason steven stopped really growing after age 8 and it's bc it wasn't until steven started showing#useful powers that either side really seemed to give this kid a forwards direction. and then steven has to grow up way too damn fast bc of#(gestures at homeworld)#ok anyways i lost momentum with what i was thinking abt i've had a lot of scattered thoughts abt su today#this is why i love steven universe so much like a decade later. i think it's very smooth with how well its narrative builds upon itself#and how your perspective on steven's journey shifts as he grows up. and also i guess as you grow up if you happen to be in like#my specific age group#lol
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cetoddle · 25 days ago
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okay what i have to say is lowkey embarrassing but i wanna bitch and it’s probably only embarrassing to me bc im shy about this stuff anyways the moral of the story is i wanna bitch and u should probably just ignore me. god bless
#honestly halfway through the wedding i did see this guy i thought was rlly cute#like. REALLY cute (so fucking embarrassing)#but i’m too shy to talk to hot people and i’ve never approached anyone before and no one’s ever approached me so i don’t know what to do#idk how to talk to people to begin with let alone like. try to flirt or something#but as the night went on (this is so embarrassing) for some reason i literally couldn’t stop looking at him (kill me)#and he probably definitely noticed me looking at him so he probably thinks im some like. crazy creep or something#but like usually when i see someone attractive im just like oh wow and admire them from afar#but i COULDNT STOP LOOKING AT HIM! WHY! and for some reason i felt like i just really wanted to talk to him#but i didn’t know what to do! i just felt this urge to go try and start a conversation but i just. i couldn’t#and every time i thought i would work up the courage either my sister or my grandmother would come back and hover over me#and i didn’t wanna be like ‘sorry gotta go i need to go embarrass myself in front of this cute guy’#OR he would get up and start taking pictures again. it’s like he knew#he wasn’t even the official photographer he was just one of the guests who clearly wanted to take photos of his friends wedding. which like#is so endearing to me. he has HOBBIES. WOW. (kill me)#idk j can’t even put everything into words i just feel like screaming into a pillow AAAAAAUGHHH#i felt like i was in hs again there was a point i even excused myself to step outside just because he was out there#but he was talking to some old lady. so i was just sitting outside in the grass moping#i feel so stupid i dunno. why am i so worked up about this. i had a few opportunities to approach him and i didnt. because im an idiot#i feel like i’m down so bad which is so STUPID because i don’t even know his name and ill never see him again in my life#so it doesn’t even matter! and every time im like oh oh well it was just random infatuation clearly it wasn’t meant to be#but then i just get upset and all blushy cause he was SO CUTE! and i wanna know more about him! why!#i haven’t felt like this in FOREVER i just feel so stupid for even feeling this way#i know ill be fine in a few days or something but im just like. i wish i could have at least spoken to him once#sigh. idk what’s wrong with me#maybe he’s already dating someone anyways all the cute people seem to already be in relationships#except ME im the only one left. who am I supposed to date!!#i want to jump out the window#snow.txt
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seventh-district · 7 months ago
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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wolfblood-of-anubis · 1 year ago
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“not you too.” she is so done with rufus, she just wants to find a way out of the hole she’s dug herself in
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skinreflectsthesun · 11 months ago
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toytulini · 6 months ago
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i made an oc thats at least nicknamed "Stupid" and im constantly thinking about what a power move that is tbh
#toy txt post#i miss it i should play w her more often but it was going to be for a dnd thing that ive all but abandonded bc i feel like#i cant. do that but it sucks bc i had some cool fun concepts and characters but it was hard enough back then when i was just insecure and#knew nothing about dnd and was intimidated by the mechanics but wanted to try dming for some reason but now i just straight up dont know#what to do but i really enjoy those characters. i should just unlock the secret channelsand scrap the dnd game idea for now and keep the#concepts and im sure i could come up w something if i ever actually learned anything about that shit#anyway. my point being. im obsessed w my character i made up and you should be too cos its good shit#toxic anarchist half dragon demigod with authority issues whos an alloaro clown named Stupid Cupid.#i think her pronouns were whatever but also it/she? when i say toxic i mean it did have a bit of a Clown Cult.#Cupid i think is possibly its given name and Stupid was her clown ass addition and yes i do know of the song and yes it is on its playlist#obsessed w all the stupid overpowered characters i made in that universe. they were such good concepts. gulliver obviously. charybdis#silas (cupids father + previous (now deceased) god of chaos)#cupids mother who i dont think i had a name for yet but she was supposed to be kind of a neutral lawful (in a rules lawyering way)#moon paladin who hatefucked the god of chaos after failing to kill him which she was trying to do out of devotion to the moon#and she supposed to have what i can only describe as chainsaw powers? and she destroyed every gun in existence and killed anyone who knew#how to make them until there were no guns left bc silas kept being annoying w guns and was trying to use them on the moon. for reasons#so she really pissed him off and impressed him before she finally got to him and tried to kill him. and if she was even a minor god instead#of a 'mortal' it wouldve worked and thats the only reason he didnt die from her. and then her child. stupid cupid the clown#grew up and had issues and started a clown cult and wandered around usurping warlords and dictators before putting her aim on silas#and trying to kill him. but failing not bc she was mortal but bc he outsmarted it. but he couldbt bring himself to kill it so he had her#put to sleep for a thousand yrs until someone else killed him(he pissed off a stupid seagull druid who lured him into the path of Charybdis#who he'd ALSO pissed off and Charybdis mega killed him and then the gull druid was made the new god of chaos just to have someone fill the#roll but then they kind of suck at it? they did not want that much responsibility altho the immortality is nice. when they took over they#released cupid whos a bit of a legend but then the vibes are super weird bc cupid Definitely wants to usurp and take on the mantle of#chaos deity and gulliver idolizes her but doesnt feel great about just handing that over to it? and cupid has to grapple with not being the#one to kill silas. almost everyone she knew is dead. her mom isnt. the world has changed a lot. she finds out her cult is still going and#gets excited? but they have Changed. it disgusts her now. they are not the radical clowns she intended. the vibes are weird. she denounces#that and tries out piracy. she manages to get the moon paladin living chainsaw power?#despite not being aligned w their ideology at all. wow nepotism. then it was going to spiral into some fucking meta galactic shit and have#well. ran out of tags. anyway i miss this character i should figure out what im doing w this universe cos theres no way im dming rn 🙃
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