#OMG this character limitation is really making my life so difficult!

[cocained]

the injury of her figure skating partner sounded severe, even though mason wouldn't be able to tell her what a lasso lift was. when the hockey coach told him about it, it seemed like the last thing on the list of priorities. the athlete had been furious that he had to do this in the first place. all the details after that seemed irrelevant at the time. "okay, so how long will you need me for?" he watched her demonstrative motions on the ice. it seemed like she was born to perform. "longer than eight weeks — i assume?" perhaps his reaction was coldhearted as he showed no compassion to this cole guy, and more so to his own burden, but then again allison didn't seem particularly upset either. at the same time, no reply seemed like a better option than sucks for him. the dark haired male was more than ready to move on to the next topic when she mentioned cole's last name and the connection to the ice rink. "that guy? are you for real?" a scoff escaped his mouth as he slightly shook his head, critical of the person they were talking about. this cole, regularly went to the hockey parties even though he couldn't possibly have anything in common with the team. they couldn't really reject his presence. most of the time, mason just tried to avoid him and the times he couldn't there may have been mention of figure skating, but it never seemed relevant enough to remember. especially not at a party. "sounds like besides that you have to train with me now — you won't miss him too much. am i right?" the hockey player wasn't sure why he wanted the reassurance that cole larsen wasn't in the way of anything mason would not try. he had to respect the daughter of the man who had helped him so much in his career and even on a personal level. the truth was that he owed a lot to the man and probably wouldn't be where was today without him. therefore, needless to say, he wouldn't actually let something happen to allison. not on purpose at least. he still had no idea what he was doing, but he liked to get her reaction nonetheless. "your dad is already making my life a living hell." mason threw his arms wide in referral to their current situation and actually did a three and sixty-degree turn on the ice to emphasize it. not that it was anything as smooth and elegant as her motions, but he still knew how to skate. once he was back in position bright green hues went to the half smirk on her lips and he wondered if she knew how smooth she was with it. how it had him try not to lose focus and drift off with the thought of kissing her. a thought he forced himself to push away. "not all hockey players are the same you know. some of us don't wanna get shitfaced drunk all the time and most importantly, some us don't want any trouble with you know who." if mason invited her without his say-so, who knew what the next punishment would be. it wasn't something he wanted to find out, not when he didn't need the extra pressure of her being there. "your dad knows it's a special occasion. drinks with the boys — maybe he can keep you locked in the house all weekend but not us, love." allison did make a good argument. she was surprisingly skilled with getting her way or so it seemed and if mason trusted her, he would have perhaps considered an alliance. "if i tell you i'm not a snitch, would that really make you trust me?" the brunet doubted it would work like that and his suspicious glance confirmed that. "the offer stays, allie. you can't bargain your way in with me, but if i'm right about you — i'm sure you can convince him somehow. perhaps don't mention it's a party." with a quick wink, it was his turn to smirk as he closed the distance between them while skating. the hockey player probably had the upper hand when it came to speed, but there was a lot still for him to learn and patience wasn't his greatest talent. "let's start with some of your simple tricks?"

' didn ' t my dad tell you ? well , he got into a car accident earlier this semester , and he was recovering his shoulder from that . . . but we pushed it too hard on our last rehearsal , tried adding a new lasso lift to our routine , and cole ' s shoulder tendon teared . the fall hurt pretty bad , but i can ' t complain , ' cause he ' s the one who ' s gonna be out for at least eight weeks before he can start physiotherapy and shit . . . ' allie explained the best she could , imitating the movements so he could actually understand . brows then go up in admiration before she rolls her eyes , while painting his picture for mason ' he ' s amazing . . . truly , not just ' cause he ' s my partner , the guy is magnificent on ice --- only bad thing is that he ' s well aware of that , which sometimes can make him really annoying . i ' m sure you ' ve seen him before , ' cause he ' s not one to go unnoticed . . . but if you didn ' t , i ' m sure you at least heard of cole larsen --- his dad made the donation that got us last year ' s rink renovation . ' a big part of why cole was so good on ice was ' cause he never had to worry about anything else , such as money or what to do for a living besides skating , since college was pretty much just a fun experience for him . allison had for herself a rule to never date her skating partners , but even if she didn ' t , she probably wouldn ' t date cole --- living practically every day with him made her see his flaws like the girls simping over him didn ' t . she rolls her eyes at his provocation , yet bites right back in a laugh ' you really think that ? not to be that girl , but i ' m pretty sure my dad would make your life a living hell if you did that . ' he was right , she couldn ' t expect him to drop everything and commit to her plans --- it could be important to him , but still , she knew he had his own priorities , and she couldn ' t condemn him for that , right ? only thing was that partying didn ' t really fit into that justifiable list of priorities . . . still , it was hard to stay feisty and not melt under such a sexy sound as his raspy laugh --- she was glad he looked away , giving her a moment to pull herself back together . side smirk still locked on her face , she rolled her eyes at him ' since when do you guys keep track of who ' s invited or not ? c ' mon , it ' s pretty clear that your guys ' party motto is the more , the merrier --- besides , i really doubt any of you will stay sober enough to remember who got a ticket in . ' she teased , since she may have never gone to their parties , but was still pretty sure it was just like any other college one . at his proposition , allie ' s sincere laugh echoes through the rink --- whenever she can breathe again , she retorts ' you forgot who you ' re talking to , mason ? c ' mon , we both know my dad wouldn ' t approve of that --- neither my attendance , nor your partying . so how about we both skip that part and go straight to agreeing keep the party alive in secret , and tell him sunday practice went on smoothly ? ' cause i ' ve been flying under his radar for enough time not to be a snitch . . . but are you a snitch , mason ? ' she flared him a winning smile and a wink , already imagining his answer . she ' s quick to throw it back his way ' why do you so bad not want me to go ? ' still , she shrugs and answers simply ' well , i don ' t . but i do like partying and tequila . so , we ' ve got a deal ? '

[cosmic-walkers]

I really love how you focus solely on the queer subtext between the characters, and how you're able to make a lot of out of what little we get between Thomas and his interaction with certain men in Wolf Hall. I didn't realize just how much he and Stephen interacted before you started posting it, even though I read the entire series. I enjoy seeing how you're able to tie that together.

I like your take on Stephen and religious guilt. In the book at least he didn't want to be a priest, but it makes sense he's covet Catholicism because he was forced into it and it's all he knows. And now here comes Thomas poking holes in his safety net lol. And now he's wondering if he should've been in the religion to begin with.

YESSS to everything you've said omg.

Honestly, my favorite things to do - especially in period-centric literature and pieces - is to seek out queer themes in the context of times, religion, etc. Obviously, you know me I'm mostly writing Henry and Thomas, but there is also something so realistic about the way the relationship between Stephen and Thomas is portrayed at the beginning that really gives me subtle hints of the possibility of a relationship, love, etc. The way Thomas acts around Stephen is a way he only acts around people he is comfortable with; he doesn't erect any walls. He teases Stephen, tries to annoy him, tests his limits, etc. And as angry as Stephen gets, you can tell there is a part of him that enjoys their banter. Like around Henry and the other Lords and Nobles, Thomas does keep up a certain persona. He is kept to himself, respectful, of course he goads them and doesn't back down, but there is certainly a level of respect.

With Stephen, it goes out of the window. He doesn't actually address him in the way he's supposed to (he isn't just a random priest, he is the Bishop of Winchester T-T), he calls him by his first or last name, and he is just so casual around him. he jokes around him, etc. at first you can chalk it up to the fact that he doesn't think he owes Stephen respect but then, the way he interacts and lets loose around him, he does see Stephen as friend or at the very least an aquaitnece.

And then Stephen indulges; he lets Thomas be around him, he lets Thomas talk to him and address him in rather casual ways. One of my favorite parts was the scene in the book where he was organizing Stephen's stuff for him and made a comment about his parent's love letters; stephen being a bastard is trait of shame for him, but he was actually calm and friendly with Thomas despite that joke.

I think there was a mutual truce between the two *until* Stephen was sent away to France. Anything that could have come between them or any development was essentially ruined.

But before that (and you know even after wrt to our fix-it aus), there is certainly something there. When I write or think about these two and the fact that Stephen falls in love with Thomas, there is a lot of Catholic guilt because first of all, he is a Bishop and Thomas is what he deems to be THEE heretic, but then at the other end there is the sense of duty. As a bastard, Stephen was more or less pushed into this life where he had to sacrifice the life he could have possibly wanted in order to appease all sides. This position later on granted him power but as we read earlier in the book--he isn't happy to begin with. I think falling in love with Thomas Thee Heratic probably makes things difficult because aside from Catholic guilt, it makes him question if this is the life he could've had if he had a choice. If he would've been happy, if he even wouldn't been a staunch Catholic, and if things were different would he have been with Thomas and been happy? BASICALLY, everything you just said.

I think Thomas scares Stephen (when looking through a QUEER subtext) because he threatens everything Stephen knows about himself, and everything he was forced to believe.

That's what makes them good---

[imminentinertia]

Get To Know Me Tag Game

@telomeke tagged me, and I enjoyed your post <3

do you make your bed?

In the morning, I fluff my pillow and turn down the duvet to air the mattress. Fitted sheet doesn't move much around.

what's your favourite number?

21 (if you know, you know)

what is your job?

I'm a [redacted] at [redacted], mostly working with [redacted] and [redacted], and my going to Vienna a lot has nothing to do with Vienna up until recent years being the spy capital of the world.

if you could go back to school, would you?

Depends. I will maim anyone trying to send me back to primary or lower secondary, but if I could bring all I know now, I'd be back in upper secondary before you could say "the dawn of the slut era". I had a lot of fun those years, and I loved so many of my teachers and subjects.

can you parallel park?

I don't have a driver's licence, and parallel parking isn't part of my limited knowledge of driving a car.

a job you had that would surprise people?

I'm pretty certain people who know me and know how much I hate talking to random strangers think being a salesperson is wildly out of character for me, but I was honestly good at it. It helped a lot that I was selling something people need (insurance).

do you think aliens are real?

I find it difficult to believe that we *gesticulates wildly* are the only sentient beings in the universe. Come the fuck on.

can you drive a manual car?

No. Not a non-manual car either.

what's your guilty pleasure?

It's taken me years to get there, but I no longer feel guilty about anything I enjoy. I regret it when I scarf down an entire bag of Olw Cheez Ballz, but that has mostly to do with being uncomfortably full.

tattoos?

I don't have any, I've been dithering about that my entire adult life, but I'm interested in the cultural history and expression of tattoos and I love rather a lot of tattoo styles.

favorite color?

Dark teals, silver, light sage green tones.

favorite type of music?

Ahaha. Well. Anything that makes my brain buzz? What I've come to realise is that I need something from music that resists me a bit, something jagged, sinister, haunting or filthy. Something that's not a dime a dozen. Something a bit spiky. Like this new song from Beth Gibbons.

do you like puzzles?

YES I DO INDEED. Any sort. This is where almost all of my possibilities for addiction live.

any phobias?

All out phobias, I don't really know. I have phobic reactions to some insects and body fluids and any sort of injury to eyes and nails (ridiculously specific, this).

favorite childhood sport?

Ew no. Ballet kid in rabid handball/football territory, I developed allergies to sports in general. Okay, I played and enjoyed badminton, to be fair.

do you talk to yourself?

Oh yes. Sometimes out loud. In several languages.

what movies do you adore?

Can I do a separate post on this? To name a few: The Fall, Gosford Park, The Handmaiden, Some Like It Hot, Thelma, Immortel, Pojkarna, Das Leben der Anderen

coffee or tea?

Ooooh depends. I love so many hot and iced coffee drinks, and iced matcha with oat milk, and black strong tea, and tisanes omg, and and and I think I need another lungo with a splash of milk. Coffee maybe wins?

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

An archaeologist. I blame reading several books by Thor Heyerdahl as a child.

As usual, if you've read this far I pronounce you tagged (please tag me if you do the post, I'm curious).

[his-tamine]

this is random and doesn’t apply to you specifically, you just seem chill and one of the most active peoples. Is there a reason comments aren’t used often and most people just reblog? Is that just a thing cause that’s what people do with no real reasoning, or is rebloging easier or better somehow? I’m just new here and I have the brain of an algorithm that’s like “but it seems more efficient to do this not that. So why are people doing that?”. Typing this out I realize there probably isn’t a reason, but ima still ask.

Well first of all, thankyouu,, I’m always glad when people perceive me or my blog as being nice or chill,, I always worry that I’m annoying people because I’m someone who couldn’t stfu if his life depended on it lol

And no, because that’s a really good question! 🤔

I’m still relatively new to snzblr— & tumblr in general— having just started this blog in March of this year, and tbh, I have absolutely no idea either.

I’ve just been copying how I’ve seen everyone else communicating for the most part, so I honestly could not tell ya’. There doesn’t appear to be any strict pattern, as I’ve seen people do both or either just because, but I usually comment under someone’s post if I want to talk directly to that person, and reblog if I wanna add on to the post.

For example, if I saw a personal post— someone going thru something difficult in their real life or someone having achieved something big in their real life, etc. and they decided to share/vent here— I’d comment, wanting to keep their post specific to their page & not take any attention away from their voice, but still offer support.

Or hey, if I saw a really hot snz prompt and don’t have anything specific to add but want to express how much I love it, I’d probably usually comment, saying something like “omg THIS!!! 👀👀” yk?

But if I saw a really hot snz prompt and wanted to add something, I'd reblog saying like “This is sooo [character]-coded” or “THIS, but add [whatever you wanted to add/ think pairs well with whatever scenario it is]” if that makes any sense.

Tbh, I really usually just sit back and observe how people communicate, and then try my best to match it to a degree that wouldn’t be off putting if I can help it 😭

most of the time, it’s really just a shot in the dark and the only “rules” for these things there are, are the kind I’ve made up in my head based on my own observations. (i.e. “normal conversation with someone you’re not super close with, limit yourself to 1-2 emojis if any” or something silly like that.)

Sorry ab this answer being so damn long I def got carried away, but hey, if there is a genuine answer to this, I do hope you— AND me tbh— find it someday, because it’s something I’ve noticed too, you’re definitely not nuts lol,, But in conclusion, as far as I’m aware, there isn’t just a simple answer

[did-someone-say-aliens]

Hi, so, you seem like the kind of person I should go to for this kind of thing.

I recently made a friend at my new high school who is autistic and uses all these weird terms and pronouns that I don’t personally really understand, I was hoping you could give me a decent understanding of what they talk about when they say they go by xenopronouns or age regress. I really want to be a supportive friend, but I don’t really understand.

How do I support my autistic friend?

OMG! I’m so happy you came to me for this. A lot of people (including but not limited to allistics/neurotypicals) have trouble understanding certain terms or what they mean or certain concepts and so on that autistic people use.

Look no further sweet children here I am to explain a ton of terms‼️ So all those definitions and explanations under the cut! Hope this helps!

Disclaimer: Some of the terms listed are NOT exclusively linked to autism. Some are. They’re just terms that are commonly used. HOWEVER. some are directly linked to autism and can’t be used by people without neurodivergencies. Thanks!!

lets start off simple. Xenopronouns!

These are commonly used by neurodivergent people who don’t feel like any kind of “normal” genders fit them, or that normal gender identities like male, female, nonbinary, etc, don’t exactly make sense to them. (I use xenos too!)

here are some examples of xenogender flags:

Catgender: A gender relating to or feeling aligned with cats. Pronouns commonly used under this identity (but not limited to) are Cat/paw/kit/kitten.

Clowncatgender: Commonly, xenogender users will create their own subsets of these genders, and Clowncatgender is an example of that. Its a gender alligned with cats but also clowns, confetti, etc!

Bunnygender: A gender relating to and alligned with bunnies! Common pronouns under this identity are Bunny/paw :] The Umbrella Xenogender Flag!: This flag is used by people who just go by xenopronouns who either use a lot or just like the concept and make their own pronouns.

Neopronouns are essentially the same thing ^^

Now lets learn how to use them!! say for example your friend started going by Cat/paw/bunny. How would you refer to them?

“Bunny told me about the science quiz.”

“Oh, cat was just telling me about the new spiderverse movie!”

”Paw is very nice.”

I hope that helped!

Age Regression.

Age Regression is not a term coined specifically for autism. People age regress for all sorts of different reasons, like to cope trauma or other mental health issues. But it’s also often used as a device for coping for individuals who are autistic!

Whats the official definition? Heathline.com says!!

“Age regression occurs when you mentally retreat to an earlier age. In all ways, you believe you're back at that point in your life, and you may exhibit childish behaviors, too. Some people choose to revert to a younger age. In this case, it can be a coping mechanism to help them relax and eliminate stress.”

Age Regression sometimes ties into xenogenders too, because some people have created xenogender identities related to age regression. These identities often begin with the prefix “agre”

Individuals who age regress may act childish, indulge in childish media, etc. It varies from person to person.

Kinning

Otherkin- Otherkin isn’t a term coined for autism but it is commonly used. Otherkin is when you allign yourself with an animal or any fictional creature for that matter, and feel that you aren’t entirely human or your soul isn’t entirely human.

Fictionkin- Fictionkin is a subset of kinning where you have a fictional character you relate to so much that you feel as if you are the character or are some kind of reincarnation.

Kinning- Kinning is not simply relating to a character, its seeing yourself in a character for a large portion of the series or media. You relate to them on a much more personal and spiritual level ^^

Stimming- Sometimes, expressing ourselves through words can be EXTREMELY difficult. So can self regulation. Stimming is our way of expressing emotions sometimes, such as happiness, sadness, anger, or anxiety. Sometimes we stim because we’re happy but sometimes its during a meltdown that it makes us feel better. Stims vary from person to person. It’s important not to tell them to stop or suppress their stims because it hurts us SO. MUCH.

Special Interests- Special interests IS a term coined specifically for autism. Its an intense love and focus for a specific topic, media, show, game, fandom, song, anything. Hyperfixation- A version of special interest that lasts only for a specific period of time, sometimes a few months, a few weeks, a few days, maybe even longer.

Comfort Items- Comfort items are used for a certain sense of security and safety. They can be ANYTHING. if they are lost it is the END OF THE WORLD. i cannot stress this enough, please validate their comfort items or things or rituals or whatever they do for comfort because it is SO IMPORTANT.

Now lets move on from all those definitions and terms. Lets go to

HOW DO YOU SUPPORT YOUR FRIEND?

While things they get upset about seem trivial to you or strange to be upset about, it’s important to remember that what seems trivial or stupid to you is EXTREMELY important to us. Like oh my fucking god. Being understanding and supportive goes such a long way.

How to deal with overstimulation or a meltdown? It really varies from person to person, since the symptoms of autism or what may cause a meltdown differs so much. But I cannot emphasize this enough, do NOT touch them during a meltdown. You’re gonna make things so much worse. Only do it if you KNOW they are okay with it or if you KNOW it will help them and it makes them feel better.

If its caused by sound- Get them out of that loud area or stop the flow of stimulus. Please do NOT compress them like autism speaks tells ypu to do. Autism speaks is a hateful group that spreads misinformation about autism, and is extremely focus on “curing” autism instead of stopping the hate, discrimination, and making sure they’re accommodated and safe.

Get them to a safe area and if you can’t, do everything you can to make sure they are not uncomfortable. Possibly cover their ears if they’e okay with being touched.

But I cannot tell you how to help them during a meltdown because I don’t know what helps THEM specifically! Beforehand or afterhand, ask them what they would want you to do during a meltdown. When they’re ok, when they’re safe. Dont start freaking out, because that only adds more stimulation to their already overstimulated brain!

(If possible, sometimes turning off the lights helps)

Anyways, there is so much that I can’t cover in this one post but PLEASE be mindful. Autistic people are people too! All we want is respect. Good luck!

[devilfic]

Hi again!! I got so happy you answered my ask!

Your series where two are joined, relentlessly basically was the thing that made me go back into writing, and opened the door to me writing canon x oc or canon x reader. I love love love your style.

What I like about your writing is that you really do humanizes the characters. Including the reader! Most people don't give the reader a personality or attitude, and it falls on being passive. Battinson too: most writers either make him all about sulking and brooding or mischaracterizate him in the opposite direction, making him way too extroverted.

You gave him both a sense of humour (y'know, like a human) but still feel like BATMAN – I could go on rating about every single line and dialogue that made me go ooooh but I guess it would be better to comment it (i always forget to comment)

Chapter 5 of right place, right time too! Got me pacing around the house thinking oh she'll get caught! :[ – again, you really do humanizes the characters and show us their minds and feelings. I didn't read the sixth one yet but I'm looking forward to it!

Okay I'll get out of your inbox now. Hope this didn't annoy you in any way! I really could go on rating about your writing

Here's one work of mine that is Batman x reader: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47424580

<3

omg thank you ;-;;; I'm so happy that you got back into writing!! as someone who's been writing fic since they were like. 10. there have been points where I've walked away from writing because I genuinely thought there was nothing left in me to give, and then something would inspire me (like batman!) and it would start all over again. it's insane how that works

and yes. I think writing reader inserts (especially for a series) can be difficult because you want to let people imagine themselves in the reader's shoes, but you're operating within the confines of what might alienate a reader vs. what would keep people invested in the story. giving them a personality is one of those things, and I accept that some might not like the personality I give my readers and click off, but a lot of writers I like who do reader inserts typically do them a certain way, so it's just up to the reader to find one they like!

and I agree about battinson ssdfkjdsfkj. the fics I've read where I really fucked with how he was written are in my #mjreads tag, but yeah... it's funny because I never cared about batman as a character through my limited exposure to him (that being the bale movies when I was a kid and some glimpses of the animated shows here or there) and it was the batman's portrayal of him that really made me understand what he was supposed to be. he wears two faces but at his core, he is the same man. not a shaking little chihuahua who cries all the time or a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist (yet, anyway LOL). he's like anyone who carries tremendous grief with them through life: deeply changed, but still determined to continue on.

I feel like I just rambled at you so I apologize but I just love talking abt the batman and writing sdfhsdkfjk and I'll definitely check that fic out! thank you

[fmab]

hi i see u blogging abt fhis “the left hand of darkness” and i am intrigued…. would u recommend it to me, a random stranger? (sidenote i am kinda bad at reading so would u say its a difficult book)

omg.. So i love The Left Hand of Darkness so much .. The gist of it is, the protagonist, Genly Ai, is a man who travels to this world inhabited by humans to convince them to ally with an interplanetary alliance with other worlds inhabited by humans. The people on this planet have only one sex, and therefore no concept of different genders. If you want an interesting sci-fi novel that really makes you consider how gender in society affects a Lot of things (perception of others, expected behavior and social norms, etc) and how the protagonist struggles to unlearn that, its good for that. It also examines the ways cultural differences may be untranslatable and create many barriers, but similarities, connections, and bonds can still exist. Its very interesting.. IDK theres a lot I could say. It was a beautiful and unique book and Ursula K Le Guin has written a lot of amazing things.

As for whether or not its difficult? I think it depends on what you may find difficult? Its very densely packed with information, a lot of it is information on the planet's cultures that the protagonist finds himself on. But if you like Learning Things, I don't think its bad? But i know some people prefer more action (tm). I have ADHD so personally I listened to the audiobook while multitasking because my ability to actually Sit and Read is.. lacking.. So if you think that may help you, maybe look into that option too?

I DO recommend The Left Hand of Darkness however I can't in good conscience recommend it without giving a trigger warning for an aspect that is relevant to the story; In this society incest between siblings is only partially taboo, and only is forbidden/becomes taboo if the relationship results in the birth of a child. This is relevant to some folklore from the planet as well as one of the characters' history.

I literally have no idea why people don't warn for this when they recommend the book, because some people, myself included, are really triggered by that kind of shit. Luckily I was able to keep reading because i DO believe this book is amazing and life changing, but coming across that abruptly with no warning was almost enough to throw me out of it completely. 😭 its neither portrayed in a positive light nor a light that condemns it, but there is a very plot relevant character who has faced the consequences of this taboo so it is mentioned a fair amount in relation to him.

tldr yes i would recommend it but if that is something that will trigger you just be aware of your own limits

[bardofavon]

18, 25, 26!!

weird questions for writers

these are going to be under the cut because they're long as hell! i said too much!

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

Ok I'm going to veer off the rails here and talk about my Onceleer fanfiction, AKA my magnum opus.

“Because I knew it wasn’t going to. Stop me, I mean. Because I’d done everything, I’d had everything, and I felt empty. I reached the peak of the mountain I’d been climbing since the day I’d been born. Instead of enjoying the victory, I was consumed with the knowledge all that surrounded me was waste. It was cold, and it was desolate, and it was everything, and it was nothing, and it was mine . It washed over me. That was it, that feeling, in that moment, that was all that I was ever going to feel. After all of my work, those were my wages.” 

He’s not sure why he’s rambling about all of this to the one person in the universe guaranteed to have no sympathy for him. Hell, maybe that’s why he’s rambling to him about this. Maybe he’s past the point of needing sympathy. Maybe he wants a little bit of retribution for his actions after all.

He sips his cold coffee. 

I went into this knowing exactly what story I wanted to tell because I had this picture in my head of the One-ler and the Lorax having a conversation together at the end of the world. Actually writing that, though...well, it's surprisingly both difficult and easy to write a fanfiction This Serious about Dr. Seuss's The Lorax.

With this passage specifically, they're sort of at the point of the conversation where the Once-ler realizes he doesn't know how they got there. The implication is that they might be in hell, or purgatory, or he might be going crazy, or he's so broken at this point that the answer of where they are and how they got there isn't important anymore. I had him talking through the last things he remembered, and one of those things was the last tree falling.

I watched the scene from the movie (which actually I don't even really enjoy the 2012 movie that much, it's complicated AHAHA) and then afterward just sort of sat there and thought. like. god. this sad fucking man. even his mom left him after this.

I just thought about how I thought he might feel in that moment, when he realized he'd destroyed the world for nothing.

Also, it didn't hurt that I had recently gotten what I thought was my dream job and then ended up in a new city by myself where I was making lots of money but had no friends and hated my life.

The 'it was cold and it was lonely and it was everything and it was nothing and it was mine' felt a little like projecting, but tbh all my writing is a form of therapy sometimes.

In terms of how it changed from start to end, I'm absolutely ridiculous and I usually only write one draft of a scene. I think about it and play around with it in my head for weeks but once I write something I'm like..."yeah okay, this slaps"

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

Ok this is fun. Irrelevant to any fanfiction but the villain-protagonist of my novel joined a theatre troupe once in his late teens, did one very bad performance, and then decided he absolutely hated it.

Also, I have decided that in my story The Darkling is the kind of person who's really weird about chewing. Like. He has to make sure he chews an equal amount of times on both sides of his mouth so that the other side doesn't get left out.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

OMG every day I regret diving in there!! I literally don't get out!! My favorite perspective to write in is third person limited, it's the POV I wrote my novel in and it's the POV I'm currently writing A Good Myth in so I spend a lot of time in my character's head. For my fanfiction, I spend a LOT of time dwelling in canon. Once I know I'm working on something I stay away from other fics so that my version of the character is only aligned with canon and not other fan interpretations. I literally reread every single Kaz POV chapter in the duology probably 15 times at first.

For my original works, I make sure I know like...every single detail about the character. I usually spend several months with my characters before I actually even start writing whatever I'm working on until I know them backward and forward and can just sort of live inside their brains.

Generally speaking, for original works and for fanfiction, I make playlists for them, I listen to songs and imagine how they would feel listening to said songs, I create pinterest boards like these.

Getting out of their heads, though??? That doesn't really happen. Sometimes I'll be going through my day and I'll just think about them, or how they would feel about things or react to them. It's like all the characters in my stories are little imaginary friends and also I'm insane, idk.

I'm a very empathetic writer so if I'm writing a scene and the character is anxious, I'll be anxious while writing it. If a character is fighting and they start crying I'll start to tear up. If they're getting heated I'm getting heated.

It can be exhausting tbh so sometimes I wish I had a different style of writing because I can really only sit down and dedicate myself to it when I'm in a good headspace.

[call-me-copycat]

Your oc Sora Tsuneyoshi stood out the most to me because omg, I am SUCH a hypochondriac and it actually ruins my life. It's the worst thing in the world, but people don't take it seriously. So to see your oc have this problem just makes me so overjoyed!

With their quirk, can they actually cure a disease assuming they know everything about it? I know you said they can control them, but is it permanent? So let's say for example, someone has a chronic illness. Let's take Asthma maybe, or heart disease. Could Sora cure these things? Or just lessen their effects? I'm so genuinely curious on this oc haha.

Do you ship them with anyone? I have 3 ocs who I ship with different mha characters, I know shipping isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I was just interested in knowing! Honestly I'd wanna know any of your oc x canon or even oc x oc ships, you're very good at world building and character creation from what I can see.

I'm the one who sent the snowflake ask so I'll go ahead and give myself a little anon name bc I'm too shy to come off anon for now :,) I'll be 🧼 soap anon if that isn't already taken on your page !

Thank you for asking, I'm always happy to answer! A funny thing I might want to mention is Sora's name always stuck in my head, so even if I forget some other characters names, for some reason their name will stick. (ㅎ.ㅎ )

And you're the first anon to choose a theme on my blog! Thank you! I'm going to create a tag for any anons that choose a character or emoji, so you'll be the first ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১

And I'm glad you were able to relate to my character, I myself (while not a hypochondriac) am a sort of germphobe, but I do have my moments where I freak out and think I'm going to die over something small.

Also, I'm AceAro, so I never really thought about shipping before since romance isn't always my ideal situation, but I'm not against it at all! If anyone were to ship my characters with each other or with an MHA character, I'd totally allow it since they're most likely just having fun (minus the kids, that might get a little weird).

That being said, I haven't thought about how far their quirk can go into detail, as I've been focusing on the other characters backgrounds, so it was left as a sort of template. I actually came up with the drawbacks and limitations of their quirk very recently, so if you have an idea or just want to add something small then feel to to tell me!

Also, I'm going to get rather excited about their quirk, so I'm sorry if I ramble! I'm just a huge biology/biotech nerd ＼_(-ロдロ-)

- Quirk:

Disease manipulation: The ability to control disease inside or outside of a person/animal. Can control movement, spread, division, and others.

✧*̣̩⋆̩☽ Drawbacks / Limits ✧*̣̩⋆̩☽

Physical strain: The ability to control diseases takes a physical toll on their body, causing them to become exhausted or even collapse after using their power too much.

Limited control: Sora can only control diseases to a certain extent. They cannot create new diseases or completely eradicate existing ones.

Moral and ethical considerations: The ability to manipulate diseases can be seen as unethical or even evil, especially if used to harm others.

Unintended consequences: Sora's actions may have unintended consequences, such as accidentally creating a superbug or virus that is resistant to all known treatments.

Difficulty with non-living surfaces: Sora may have difficulty manipulating diseases on non-living surfaces, such as objects or clothing.

Inability to control all diseases: Some diseases may be resistant to Sora's quirk, making it difficult or impossible to control them.

Sora's quirk is highly dependent on their own immune system; if they get sick or injured, their quirk weakens or disappears altogether temporarily.

They experience intense pain and discomfort whenever they manipulate diseases past their limit, making it difficult to use their quirk for extended periods of time.

Sora can only control one disease at a time, and must fully focus their attention on it to maintain control. If their attention is split their quirk's effect can lose strength.

Sora's quirk can be disrupted or negated by various medical treatments or procedures, such as vaccines, antibiotics, or chemotherapy. It all depends on the context.

Their quirk is heavily influenced by their emotional state; if they become stressed or anxious, their ability may become erratic or uncontrollable. This is why they're working on controlling their hypochondriac tendencies, because they can't use their quirk very much because of it.

Sora is unable to control certain types of diseases, such as those caused by genetic disorders or environmental factors.

Their quirk can be dangerous or even lethal if used improperly, and they must exercise extreme caution and restraint when manipulating disease

Sora's ability to control a disease is limited by the pathogen's replication rate. If the pathogen replicates too quickly, they may be unable to keep up with its spread and control it.

Sora's quirk can only manipulate diseases that are currently in their active phase; they cannot control latent or dormant infections.

Their quirk has a limited effect on diseases that have already caused irreversible damage to the body, such as chronic conditions or organ failure. They can only control the diseases, they can't reverse anything the diseases might've done.

Sora's quirk can only be effective against diseases that are currently recognized by modern medicine, and may not work against newly emerging pathogens or rare diseases. However, if they have a steady knowledge of any be disease, they can control it better. Then again, if there's an already established disease that they happen to know little too nothing about, they can't control it at all, or at least will struggle in an attempt.

Their quirk may have unintended consequences, such as creating drug-resistant strains of a disease or inadvertently spreading the disease to others.

｡o♡o｡Uses and Benefits ｡o♡o｡

Quick Explanation: Since Sora's quirk has so many limitations and risks, they normally only use it when absolutely needed, or if there's minimal risk involved. Since they're a well educated medic, they have other alternative methods of treatment.

In emergency situations where traditional medical treatment is unavailable, Sora could use their quirk to control the spread of infectious diseases within a patient's body, potentially preventing the disease from becoming fatal.

They could use their quirk to manipulate diseases in laboratory settings, allowing for more targeted research and development of vaccines and treatments for infectious diseases

In situations where quarantine is necessary, Sora could use their quirk to control the spread of a disease within a confined space, potentially limiting the number of people who become infected.

They could use their quirk to manipulate diseases as a form of biocontrol, targeting pests or invasive species that are causing harm to ecosystems or agricultural crops.

In situations where traditional treatments have failed, they could use their quirk to manipulate the disease within a patient's body as a last resort, potentially saving their life.

Sora could use their quirk to manipulate diseases as a means of tracking the spread and transmission of infectious diseases, potentially providing valuable data for epidemiological studies.

They could use their quirk to manipulate diseases to provide symptomatic relief for patients, such as reducing inflammation or fever in cases where traditional treatments are unavailable or ineffective.

•°•Exceptions•°•

If there is a new disease, they naturally wouldn't know much about it. But if they do, it wouldn't matter if it was new or not, they'd still be able to use their quirk on it

They cannot completely eradicate a disease, they can only control it. There is a loophole, though. Say Sora is trying to help a cancer patient. For those that don't know, cancer cells are normal human cells that mutated and went uncontrolled. Since they can control disease how they wish with enough information on it, they could force the cancerous cells to undergo apoptosis (programmed cell death). Or they could mess with the diseased cells homeostasis or osmotic pressure, and make them burst or crumple inwards. Or they could do the opposite and make sick cells healthy again.

If there overall isn't much data on a disease and they happen to know the small amount that was discovered, they'd still not be able to do anything, since they need a vast understanding of the disease.

They're quirk greatly ties with their mental knowledge and state

To answer your questions, say there's a kid with asthma (like you asked). They can only control the disease, but not the damage already done. If they know a lot about asthma, they could prevent it while the person is near them so the patient can undergo treatment, or thi could prevent it from getting worse if the patient wasn't going to get treatment at the time (with the wide world of quirks, I'd imagine there's going to be numerous medical advancements and techniques)

•*¨*•.¸¸♡•*¨*•.¸¸♡•*¨*•.¸¸♡•*¨*•.¸¸♡•*¨*•.¸¸♡•*¨

Overall, I'm glad that my character was able to make you so happy! I never thought anything I could do would have that effect (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

I'm sorry to hear about your hypochondriac issues, but since I don't have any experience with it I'd be glad if you offered some insight as to what's it's like since I'd like to write Sora's character realistically. ( ˙˘˙* )

If you have anymore questions, feedback, or suggestions, please don't hesitate to send in another ask! I always look forward to seeing anything in my inbox, really (⁠๑⁠¯⁠◡⁠¯⁠๑⁠)

I'm thinking about drawing them more often when I have the energy. If I do, I could let you know! If you want to know anything else about Sora or if I post something about them, I could always tag it with your emoji, your choice!

Sorry if that was long, I got a little excited (⁠─⁠.⁠─⁠|⁠|⁠）

Please have a lovely day, and don't hesitate to submit any thoughts! Thank you so much!  

　　∧＿∧

　( ・ω・)

┏━Ｕ━━━Ｕ━━┓

┃♡ありがとう♡ ┃

┗━━━━━━━━━┛

[call-sign-shark]

Omg Daisy, your comment got me teary. For real. Thank you so much for such a long and detailed analysis. 🥺

I really wanted to make a stark contrast between the almost tender moment between the two of them, especially by portraying Arthur as very loving towards them. Even if some hints at his twisted nature are scattered from here and there, like the way he loves to see her submissive. I am glad Arthur lured you too into appreciating him teehee. And your mention of Stockholm Syndrom got me smiling 'cause it's going to be an important part of the story. Also I am more than happy you picked up with how he touches her, trying to both instigate something more sexual and searching for the limits she would accept. His clinginess is almost suffocating despite his "gentleness". She still had the reflex to push him.

In truth, the whole awakening scene was difficult to write because I tried my best to instill a feeling of panic. Like, just imagine waking up almost naked in the bed of the man who's been ruining your life for months, without having clear memories of what happened? This is truly horrific. So far, I'm blushing at your sweet compliments about my writing... Thank you so much. I don't know why but something tells me no one's going to drink milk anymore now. 😇 

The small talk between Tommy and John is so significant despite being short. I felt like it was really in character to just dismiss the topic since Arthur's always depicted as the problematic one in the show. Moreover, their behavior kind of fits with the masculinity codes of the era. This is quite sad for Bunny, thinking no one's going to investigate further while she's literally trapped in Arthur's bedroom.

AHHH the whole quarrel scene was kinda stressful right?😁 The escalation of violence in Arthur had to be terrifying. Also, I was a bit scared of having emphasized a bit too much on the Wolf/Prey allegory so I'm relieved you think I balanced it well. That's exactly the reaction I wanted! I wanted people to stop breathing when Bunny punches him, like "Oh shit. He's going to flip." lmao

Thank you again Daisy, your words mean the world to me. The fact I've managed to keep you on the edge of your seat and terrify you a little bit makes me super proud. And you read it well, little King Shelby's going to have a role in this "series"... But what kind of role? That's the question the. (I'm laughing so much when people use this nickname for Tommy)

I didn't know the song but OH MY GOSH you're absolutely right! It fits so well, so thank you for the discovery. I'm now enjoying myself and dancing a little bit while answering you teehee! Thank you again for your support and your friendship Daisy. 🖤🖤

Now, won't you give Arthur a little hug?

Hey Bunny pt. 2 || Yandere!Arthur Shelby x Reader

Summary: You try to escape. Arthur is clearly unhappy with that: don't you understand that you're made for each other?

Words: 5k

TW: Drugs use, unreliable narrator, unrequited love, graphic depictions of violence, blood, domestic violence, allusions to non-consensual sex, stalking, depiction of obsessive behavior, horror, psychological manipulation, — this is dark, experimental, and out of character.

Notes: Italicized+bold are quotes from the show said by Arthur.

PART 1. || Masterlist

How many days went by since Arthur Shelby brought you home?

Such information was impossible for you to tell, especially because of the throbbing headache that was still hammering your skull. What you knew though was that you could not help feeling exhausted and slightly ill. The sensation was quite hard to describe, but it mainly manifested itself with a general weakness; to the extent you had trouble standing for too long, on top of being the unlucky owner of a constant dizziness that left you disoriented. Gathering all your feeble strength, you tried to open the bedroom window for more air but nothing happened when you pulled its handle. You frowned, confused, but you hadn’t enough energy to insist nor to investigate further — your legs were threatening to give up at any moment. It was with drawling steps that you came back to bed, your flickering frame collapsing on the mattress. Then, you sunk your face into the pillow and whined.

“How’s me little Bunny doing today?”

You raised your face from the comfortable pillow at the sound of Arthur’s hoarse and low voice, looking at him above your shoulder. His tall silhouette was standing in front of the door, holding a plate: he came to bring your dinner. “I still feel exhausted, Arthur. It’s really unpleasant…” You replied with a little voice, for even speaking seemed to require too much effort. At this point, your fatigue was becoming a real nuisance — which was odd considering how full of energy you usually were. You rolled on the bed to lie on your back, your beautiful but so-tired eyes looking at the ceiling with tears dawning at their corner, “I don’t think it’s normal. Maybe we should call a doctor?” You suggested, bringing your trembling hands to your forehead to wipe the thin layer of sweat that was covering it. Arthur remained silent and stared at you for a little while, his steel blue eyes slightly squinted as if he was actively thinking about his answer. Finally, he let out a little sigh and walked to the bed, first putting the plate he had in his hands on the nightstand before sitting on the edge of the bed. Once he did so, he gently grazed your cheek with his fingertips as if he had been afraid to break you with his simple touch. The physical contact with the leather of his gloves had the immediate effect to make you relax. Surprisingly enough, the infamous Arthur Shelby had been a real sweetheart with you these past few days. Indeed, the man was at your bedside, constantly spoiling you with care, good food, and company. The moments you appreciated the most were certainly when he held you in his long arms and fondled your hair, telling you about his favorite childhood memories or the many mischiefs he did with his little brothers. The more you talked, the more the emotional facet of Arthur you discovered, and the more your tiny soft spot for him grew. During this loving moment, you’d always end up dozing off, lulled by the warmth of his gravel voice. Such kindness definitely unsettled you though, when thinking about the Hell you’ve been through for months because of him. But when you thought about that it seemed too anchored in the past for you to really hate him. Moreover, people changed — or at least that was what you liked to believe.

“S’alright, love.”  He whispered in a tone so soft, so loving, that you could not help but offer him a tiny and genuine smile; which made the gangster’s heart flutter — he bit the inside of his cheek. Fuck, you were so cute, lying in his bed, depending on him. Arthur stopped his caresses only to lay down next to you. He uplifted his body with one arm to lean over your frame,  “The doctor came when ye were asleep eh. ‘Told me you caught a little something but it’s nothing serious. All ye need is rest and someone to take care of ye. Which is exactly what your Arthur does hmm.” He almost purred. The gangster had brought his face closer — so close that his nose was grazing your ear and his lips, hungry for you, were ghosting over your jaw.  A deep shiver ran down your body at the caress of his scorching breath against your freezing skin. Despite his care and the comfort he gave you these last few days, you still turned your head to the other side to deny him access to your mouth. It did not seem to bother him though.  His feverish sigh brushed the sensitive skin of your neck. “I brought ye dinner. It’s me Aunt who cooked it, yer going to like it. It’s yer favorite meal…”  He let his sentence hang for his lips and pressed a delicate kiss right on your throat— A surge of electricity crossed through your body and died between your legs, leaving you a bit confused. Your brows slightly furrowed in response as one of his calloused hands languidly ran down your ribs, right above the fabric of the shirt he had lent you, “Me clothes suit you well, y’know.” The sight of you wearing nothing but your lace panties and one of his far-too-large shirts gave his stomach butterflies. 

Something wasn’t coherent. How could a doctor came and diagnosed you without you even noticed it? Even asleep, you’d have heard something. 

“Arthur— please…” You called him, your weak little hands trying to gently push him away, “Can you— can you tell me what happened again? I’m trying so hard to remember but everything is foggy. I feel like my mind has erased everything of this awful party…”  Which was ultimately true. At your request, Arthur hummed and pulled his face back from your neck only to lock you in an intense stare, the proximity between you small enough for your noses to still touch. 

“Of course, love.” The fingers of his free hands stopped fondling your body and reached your face in order to trap your chin between his thumb and his index,  “Ye were partying at the Garrison when a bastard bothered you. Ye spent a bit of time with him outside, wearing light clothes.  The doc’ said it was prolly why you caught somethin’ eh.” Listening attentively, you swallowed the lump in your throat. Arthur was clingy, so clingy that it stirred conflicting feelings In you. A part of you tensed at the thought of this criminal you barely knew being so lovey-dovey with you, with his hands and lips roaming freely on your frail body. The other part, lost and tired, was looking for any kind of comfort it could find, and the comfort of his arms outmatched everything you had ever experienced. “At some point, I checked if everything was okay but I overheard your conversation and he wanted to bring ye home. I heard you yelling so… I beat the shit out of this cunt and brought ye here safe.”  

“You did?” Your voice was merely an exhausted meowing as you offered him another smile; He nodded in reply. Very timidly, you put your hand on the back of his head and pressed your forehead against his at the realization that he probably saved you from getting abused.

Something is wrong, that was what your instinct whispered to your ear.

Yet, your lonely heart was tamed by his softness. Could it be possible that you’ve misjudged him? Sure, what he did to Gaspard was unforgivable and he had sincerely creeped you out, but… Maybe he didn’t mean to do harm? After all, he protected you, so he could not be that bad right? Stuck in this suspended moment of utter tenderness, you observed the very details of his face as if it was the first time you saw him. Your heart missed a very small beat at his adorable freckles and the way his dark lashes fluttered when your breath melted with his — the oldest Shelby brother was definitely good-looking and charming. A kind of wild and raw charm.

Arthur could have stayed like this forever, lost in the beauty of your gaze and locked up in this room with you, but unfortunately, Tommy wanted to see him tonight and he could not say no to Shelby’s business. His lips parted and the words left his mouth reluctantly. “I’ll have to go right? Eat your dinner. Drink your nightly glass of milk and try to sleep hmm.” He hummed against the corner of your mouth . The vibration of his voice combined with the sensation of his facial hair melted your core and sent a wave of warmth in your belly. Finally, he kissed you there one last time before forcing himself to get up. This was at the moment he was about to leave the bed that Arthur felt the feeble grip of your little fingers closing on the fabric of his vest’s sleeve, trying to hold him back.

“Stay with me, please.” You sniffed, for his presence and the devoted way he took care of you made you feel safe. Something you hadn’t experienced in years. Your hazel eyes, whose color reminded him of sunlight going through a pool of honey, shone with a beseeching look, “Art’… Pretty please.”

“Oh… Bunny.” Arthur clenched his jaws — he felt his heart’s pace quicken in his chest at your intoxicating words and at the submissive way you were looking at him. At this very moment, keeping the thought of ruining you out of his mind was the most difficult struggle he had always faced. War in France was nothing compared to the restless battle that was happening in his soul. Arthur bit the inside of his cheek harder until the metallic taste of blood flooded his tastebuds and soothed his violent desire. His whole being had lit up with such an indescribable euphoria that you almost saw the flames dancing in the frozen desert of his eyes, “I’ll be back soon and stay with ye forever,” He let out a long and shaky exhale from his nostrils in an attempt to keep his brutal emotions in line. For sure he didn’t want to burst into hysterical laughter in front of you and scare you away. Not after everything he did, everything he sacrificed to make this moment happen. Once he managed to alleviate his inner turmoil, the gangster gently took your little hand in his and kissed each of your knuckles with indescribable tenderness.  “Sleep tight and wait for me, I’ll come back soon, slip under your bedsheet and keep ye warm eh.”

You did not wait long after Arthur left the house to eat what he had brought. Despite your poor health condition, you surprisingly felt like you were starving. Eating the last slice of bread, your lips stretched in a faint smile: he didn’t lie when he said you were going to love it. His aunt truly cooked like a chief, and you mentally noted down that you’d had to compliment her for her cooking skills the day you’ll meet her. Following this pleasant meal, your general fatigue caught up with you and you decided to go back to sleep rather quickly. A little yawn escaped from your lips — never mind the glass of milk. You left it on the nightstand, untouched, because you were already dozing off. Ready to sleep, you snuggled in the good-smelling sheet, made yourself comfortable in the large bed, and even found the best position… But Morpheus didn’t want you anymore. Worst than not sleeping, you emerged from your torpor only twenty minutes later, with an insufferable aching feeling that twisted your stomach. The pain had been so sudden, so vivid, that you sat up straight on the mattress, your eyes wide-opened and cold sweat running down your spine. The room started to spin around you for what seemed to be an eternity — and it spin so bad your nails dug into the bedsheet in a desperate attempt not to faint. Your heart was beating so fast that you could feel it pulsing in your throat, ready to be thrown up and run away by itself. But despite these sudden symptoms, all the indescribable and odd fatigue you went through for the last couple of days had entirely vanished, leaving you well-awake. The only reminder of your weak condition was the bitter taste that remained on your tongue. 

“Hell…” You exhaled slowly, the heavy nausea and dizziness you just experienced finally decreasing, but the relief was short. Indeed, it was at the very moment you started to feel better than the musky and masculine perfume that was floating in the room struck you. To these peculiar fragrances, your body reacted with another fit of panic: you could recognize this cologne among thousands of others, for its owner had been the bane of your existence since the night you met at the Garrison. Arthur Shelby’s scent was all around you. It impregnated the bedsheets and stuck to your own body and hair so strongly you even wondered if he hadn’t crawled under your skin in your sleep. With renewed energy, you jumped from the bed like a cat that had just touched water, and looked all around you with quick and erratic movements: this was not your bedroom.

“No,  no…” You repeated, slipping one moist palm in your fire hair, and slicking it back, all the while your mind began swirling in a whirlwind of utter panic. However, you knew you had to stay the calmest you could if you wanted to understand what was happening and if you wanted to find a solution. Hence, you focused on the cold sensation of the wooden floor to keep track of reality. After wiggling your toes a few times, the realization that you were almost naked slowly crept into your mind, “No…” A gasp escaped from your lips when you looked down and discovered that you were only dressed in your panties and a man’s shirt that was running too large for you. The same shirt you saw Arthur wore sometimes. That damn white shirt with thin dark stripes. Panic settled in your bones again, making your breath hitched and your throat tightened as if an invisible hand was trying to choke you, “Calm down Y/N, calm down!” You scolded yourself. In an ultimate attempt to remain stoic, you focused on your shaking hands — as your mother had taught you before your very first day of school. However, it wasn’t the way your fingers shook that grabbed your attention but rather the burns and scars of ropes that were engraved in your wrists. The marks, still a bit reddened, showed how harsh Arthur had been. You took a few steps back as if you had just been stricken, and wobbled under the violence of the chaotic flashbacks that suddenly assaulted your mind.

The bottle of whiskey shattering on the ground.

The ropes hanging from a gloved hand.

Arthur’s lanky body pressed against yours, trapping you against the wall. Oh Bunny… I won’t hurt ye.

Ropes biting on your skin?

In search of the truth, your eyes quickly traveled on any visible parts of your body. Then, you saw them: similar marks on your thighs and ankles. The sole sight of them triggered a stream of uncontrollable tears to overflow from your eyes, and helped you reconstitute what happened during your odd blackout: Arthur Shelby had kidnapped you. The disgusting epiphany made you feel sick in your stomach all of a sudden. Yet, many questions still remained, buzzing in your head like a hive of furious hornets: how did he manage to abduct you? Why couldn’t you remember anything? And why were you so docile these past few days? In truth, all these interrogations would have been left without answer if your gaze did not fall upon the still-full glass of milk that was on the nightstand. Water had beaded over the surface as the beverage warmed up due to the room temperature, trickling down the glass just like your crystal tears did down your cheeks.

“He drugged the fucking milk…”  You whispered with a broken voice. It was all becoming clear. Yes, your excruciating fatigue and dizziness suddenly made sense. Arthur had purposefully drugged your daily glass of milk to keep you all nice and quiet, hence finding another use for the meds the doctor had prescribed him. Consequent to this last information, your self-control broke down — it was too much to handle.

 “FUCKING SICK BASTARD!!!” You yelled, for your repressed panic exploded in a fit of anger and sadness. The feeling of betrayal was so excruciating and your hopelessness so crushing that all you could do was grabbed the glass of milk and smashed it against the floor. The white liquid splattered all over the parquet and filled the small space between each board. Then, not relieved by this violent gesture, you pulled your hair and screamed louder, eyes squeezed tight and lungs burning. Never in your life you had felt so close to losing your goddamn mind — and it was awfully One sole rational thought crossed your mind at that moment: you had to get the fuck out of here before he came back. Without further waiting, you rushed to the door like a chased rabbit and tried to open it — but of course, it was locked. What were you expecting? “SON OF A BITCH!!” You screamed, shaking the handle as fiercely as you could, but the door remained shut and only the only thing that replied to your desperate shrieks was the dull silence of an empty house.

Truth was, the most logical part of you knew that no matter what you attempted, it would not work. And this last conclusion killed the last bit of control that remained in your soul. Slipping into a temporary fit of fear-induced insanity, you slammed your tiny body against the heavy wooden door one first time. Your being shook at the collision with the hard surface but it didn’t stop you. Quite the contrary, adrenaline had numbed your nerves and you were more than ready to destroy your bones in bits if it was the price to pay for freedom. “OPEN IT!!” You roared, crashing yourself against the door a second time. A big thud resonated in the house. “FUCKING OPEN IT!” Another impact. And another. And another until all your strength left your body, exhausted by useless efforts. Silence fell again in Arthur’s bedroom: the only sound that could be heard was your erratic and whistling breath.  You might as well face if: you were trapped for good, with no way out of this hell. All you did after your fit was to let your back slide along the door until you ended up sitting on the floor, hopeless. As your eyes aimlessly wandered around you, you noticed a sheet of paper floating in the puddle of milk. Curious, you frowned and tilted your head to the side to look at the drawing that was on it. The sketchy and dark lines were forming the shapes of a bunny, lying limp into the fangs-filled jaws of a creepy-looking wolf. You started crying again. And so did the bunny, for the milk had made the ink that composed the drawing run down the animal’s face in tar-black tears.

 

Arthur had been looking forwards to coming back home.

During the whole mission, his mind kept obsessing over the sight of you, peacefully sleeping in his bed with your doll face relaxed and your long fiery mane spread out on the immaculate white sheets. He had nervously moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue at the maddening memory of your feeble voice begging him to stay by your side — a sentence that was playing on repeat in his mind like a broken record. The way you had looked at him, with teary eyes and lips parted, got him on his knees. With spiraling thoughts all revolving around you, Arthur didn’t even reply to Tommy when the latter talked to him about the Epsom Derby and the Eden’s Club. All he did was stare blankly at the wall facing him, lost in the meanders of his own sick brain. The club, the races, the money, the pretty dancers, he didn’t care anymore. All that mattered was your frail arms around his body and the intoxicating way your lips grazed his burning skin when you nestled your face in the crook of his neck. 

Tommy and John quickly glanced at each other after witnessing one too many of their older brother’s absences, but still, they did not ask any questions. Masculinity obliged. Moreover, it was not unusual for Arthur’s gaze to turn into the thousand-yard stare, especially after the war. Somehow he had never fully returned from France, like many other veterans. Like John and Tommy themselves — it was just more frequent in Arthur’s case. When Tommy told him they were done for tonight, Arthur simply mumbled a gruff “Alright, see ye brothers” before leaving with hastened steps, his tall silhouette disappearing in the dark veil of the nights with the walk of a preying wolf.

“Something’s wrong with Arthur lately.” Thomas Shelby’s husky and quiet voice stated as his mesmerizing turquoise eyes still remained fixed to the horizon, even after the darkness of Birmingham’s streets had swallowed his brother’s frame.

“Something’s always wrong with Arthur anyway.” John shrugged.

They never talked about it ever again.

As soon as he came home, the gangster hung up his long black coat stained with dried blood behind the door and threw his cap on the living room’s coffee table. Before heading upstairs, he stopped in front of the corridor’s mirror to slick his hair back, smooth his mustache and rearrange his bow tie: he had to be perfect for you. After a very short while of dolling himself up, Arthur finally grabbed the red carnation he had brought earlier and went up without wasting any more time. So late in the night you were certainly sleeping, but still, he had promised you to crawl in the bed, and, to be honest, he didn’t want to miss an opportunity to feel your dainty body against his. So strong, rough, and scarred. Stealthily, he walked to the bedroom, careful not to make any loud noise that would disturb your well-deserved rest. Yet, he stopped at the door and hesitated once he arrived – his heart went wild at the simple thought of seeing you. Arthur clenched his jaws, his mind spinning round and round to the point he had to grip the handle to keep himself from slipping into madness. That was because of this unpleasant feeling of being overwhelmed by his love that he took a blue little vial out of his trouser’s pocket and poured the white powder it contained on the back of his hand. Blocking one nostril with his index, Arthur snorted the cocaine line in one row, coughed a little bit, and then threw his head back, letting out a long and raspy moan. His lips parted as a sweet cocktail of euphoria and energy spread in him in a warm wave. Now he felt better, now he felt invincible. After that little boost, Arthur entered the room with a smile etched on his lips and closed the door behind him. What an unpleasant surprise it was for him when he saw you sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at him with your face distorted by both anger and disgust. His smirk soon vanished when he noticed your eyes, swollen and bloodshot from hours of crying.

“Bunny?” He asked with a tinge of worry in his voice.

“You’ve kidnapped me.” You replied, biting down your enraged sobs. The gangster opened his mouth to reply to your cutting remark, but no sound came out: you had taken him aback. Instead, his steel-blue eyes quickly searched for the glass of milk, which he found smashed on the floor. It didn’t take much more for him to understand what had happened.

“It’s not what ye think, love.” He tried to remain quiet but panic was already setting in him. The red carnation slipped from his fingertips and fell on the wooden floor.

“You’ve locked me up in your bloody bedroom, almost naked…” Even you barely believed the words you were speaking, for they sounded almost surreal. It surely was a nightmare. An awful, awful nightmare.

“Fuck me.” Arthur grunted when he noticed the damaged door handle, undeniable proof that you had done everything in your power to escape. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat… You had tried to escape. In a matter of seconds, Arthur’s heart rate increased, and his mouth dried at the escalating anger he was experiencing. Why? Why would you want to escape? The first flicker of irritation manifested itself with the way his body tensed and the long inhale he took.

“I—I want to leave.” You said as firmly as you could, standing up in front of the bed.

“Leave?” His forehead creased above his frowning brows, “Nah, you ain’t leaving.” He straight off replied. All the softness and the honey with which he usually talked to you had disappeared, handing over a corrosive hostility. You batted your eyes, not recognizing him anymore. But despite everything, Arthur did try his best not to let the destructive rage that was burning within overcome him. Gathering all his willpower, he gave a dismissive wave of his hand and went on “Yer going to come back to bed eh. And yer going to let me take care of you, right? We’ll talk about it after a good night of sleep ‘cause you’re not thinking straight at the moment.” He talked slowly, making several short pauses in between words for he was fighting against the urge to let the switch in his brain flip. But the way he handled the situation, dismissing the problem and ordering you to go back to bed as if everything was normal made you lose your temper.

“Are you fucking serious? You think I’m going to obey and go back to bed? So what, Arthur? Do you want me to spread my legs for you and then thank you for fucking abducting me?” Now you were yelling, fear temporarily replaced by a blinding hatred you had never felt in your whole life, “You’re a maniac, a fucking sick bastard!” Tears flooded your vision as you spoke, "You've been ruining my life for months!"

“Stop it.” He said, as calmly as he could, his eyes flickering between you and his boots. Blood was boiling in his veins.

“The fuck is wrong with you ey?! You’ve tied me with ropes… You kept drugging me to use me as your puppet and satisfy your fucking twisted urges… Christ, Arthur!” Your voice boomed in the room. Carried on by your hatred, confidence grew in you and you approached him step by step, " Wake the fuck up!"

“Stop it.” Arthur had trouble breathing, his anger nearly suffocating him as seconds passed. He clenched his fist until his scarred knuckles whitened – God knew he didn’t want to hurt you, but a vortex of rage swirled inside him, and he knew he was about to reach his breaking point in a minute or another. Trying hard to suppress his caustic wrath, he slowly broke the distance between you and brushed your hips with his trembling fingers in a seemingly soft gesture, “Stop it, Bunny.”

But his touch felt like he had stabbed you with a knife.

“STOP CALLING ME BUNNY! MY NAME’S Y/N FOR FUCK’ SAKE. I’m not your bloody bunny! I’m nothing, and so you are!”  You almost choked with your screams, pushing him with a surprising strength – At least, it had been enough to make him take a few steps back. “Get fucked, Arthur Shelby.” That being said, you pushed him again and rushed to the door in an attempt to run away from him. But Arthur’s reflexes were sharp, enhanced by cocaine, and he managed to catch you by the arm before you could reach the exit. Surely you didn't mean it, you were just a bit... Confused. But soon you'd understand that you loved him too.

“Y/N.” He scolded but you weren’t listening anymore. You didn’t want to listen, you wanted to leave this damn place and you wanted it now. Guided by panic, you threw a nasty punch right at his chin -- your knuckles aching from the shock with his jawbone. When you realized what you had just done, it was already too late. Arthur’s face turned to the side at the violence of your blow, making him bite his tongue so hard he felt the metallic taste of blood exploding in his mouth. Then, silence fell in the room. The threatening and chilling silence which follows the blast of a bomb, right before the screams and cries start to echo. “What the hell did ye…” He muttered, bringing his trembling free hand to his bleeding mouth. The other was still firmly holding your arm, keeping you from escaping so firmly that he almost broke your bone. His fair eyes, adorned with pretty lashes and charming crow feet, suddenly darkened like a predator that had just smelt the distress of a wounded prey.

“Let me go!” You whined, pulling on your arm as fiercely as you can and clawing his hand with your nails to try to break from his grip.

“ALRIGHT THEN!” He burst out, definitely losing control. With brutal movements, Arthur pounced on you with the strength of a rabid wolf, and trapped your wrists with one of his hands before pushing you against the nearby wall to pin them above your head, “Al-fucking-right! Are we hitting each other now? That’s what ye want?!”  He barked loudly with blood dripping from his mouth, only a few inches away from your face. “Did I laid a fookin’ finger on you? Nah, so the least you can do is be FOOKIN’ civilized!” A cry of pain escaped from your lips as he shoved you a second time against the wall, the collision between it and your frail body making all your bones shake.

“You’re hurting me!” You lamented, wriggling under his grip. The gangster was holding your wrists so tight that your fingertips were starting to tingle.

“Am I?” He replied in a low growl – Arthur’s lips stretched into a carnivorous smile, showcasing blood-stained teeth whose canines were pointy. His face was red, his rage highlighted with the pumping vein on his forehead, “Listen to me. I don’t bloody know what the hell yer implying, but I didn’t satisfy my urges, as you said. If it had been the case, you would have woken up every day with cum dripping down yer tight pussy.” All you could see now was the white of his eyes. “I would have ruined ye until ye could not walk anymore, filled every fookin’ hole of your body,” He pressed you harder against the wall, his words stirring desire in him, “Marked every inch of your skin,” He licked the blood off his lips with the tip of his tongue, the taste only arousing his more, "Made you fookin' choke on my cock ‘til you’d look at me with teary eyes and drool running down your bratty mouth." The sparkle that lit up his steel-blue eyes betrayed how he enjoyed keeping you restrained -- and probably how the darkest side of his obsessive love would love to make such things to you, "So don’t make me fookin’ regret being a gentleman with ye.”

“Please Arthur, stop! I—I wanna go home please…” You begged him, despair and terror overcoming you.

“Now ye say please, ey! Now you ain’t callin’ me a maniac anymore, are ye?!” He let out a hoarse and menacing chuckle, spitting a few droplets of blood at your face as he did, “That’s not how ye should talk to your bloody man, sweetheart.” With ragged breath and bare teeth, you knew Arthur was at the very edge of going for your throat.

Yet, you looked at him straight in the eyes through your tears and spat at his face, disgusted by all he had said. “You’re not my man and you’ll never be!”

“YOU FUCKING BITCH!” Trembling with rage, and fury shining in his eyes, Arthur grabbed you fiercely and threw you on the floor, right where the glass shards were scattered. You had barely understood what had just happened when the piercing and excruciating sensation of the glass cutting your flesh awoke in your body. You yelled in pain, your voice so loud that it did not seem human anymore – you sounded like prey screaming with agony. Terrified and in utter panic, you wanted to move but didn’t, for the sight of your own blood suddenly made you feel sick. You were bleeding. Fucking bleeding.

“Oh God, oh God…” You sobbed.

“Why don’t ye understand that I fookin’ love you eh?!” Arthur brawled even louder, standing in front of you and towering over you with all his height as you were crying in crimson stains of fresh blood and shattered glass, “We're made for each other, Bunny. I know it. I knew it from the moment ye smiled at me at the Garrison: you wanted me to come for you... And here I am, love! All fookin' yours!" He said, opening up his arms and tilting his head slightly to the side, his lips stretched in a blood-stained and frightening grin. As your eyes watched him with horror, you understood the extent of his madness. Then, Arthur leaned over you and grabbed you by the neck to bring you closer again. In a reflex, you shut your eyes tight at the sensation of his calloused hand tightening around your throat, “I won’t let you leave me, hm?” He groaned. His breath – erratic and panting – crashed on your face, “I’ll tell you…” He started with his low and gruff voice, whose gravel tones broke the last will of fighting that remained in you, “All you’re gonna do now is be a good fuckin’ wife,” He breathed heavily, while his free hand roamed over your face in a soft caress. In the violence of your fight, some strands of his hair had come loose and were now hanging down his sharp face, “Yeah, like the perfect couple. We’ll go in the bathroom hm.” Arthur strangle you a tiny bit harder to feel your heartbeat against his palm, which resulted in you moaning in pain. “ We’ll go in the bathroom. We’ll get you all clean yeah.” His lips crashed against yours without searching for your consent, stealing a few pecks from your plump lips before his voice turned into a whisper, “Yeah. We’ll make love, hmm?” He kissed you again and again until his light pecks weren't enough for him and he decided to let his tongue force its way into your mouth. The taste of whisky and blood overwhelmed you. Desperate, you tried to move away, for you were suffocating as he moaned softly and low in your mouth, but he was too strong.

“Please…” You begged against his lips, sobbing — but he remained unmoved by your cries. The room was spinning all around you as you realized how stupid you had been thinking you could have escaped. How suicidal it was to underestimate his obsession with you.

With trembling fingers, you cautiously touched the back of the hand that was choking you. Despite your thoughts crashing into each other in your skull and the despair that was beating you down, you still managed to understand one essential thing: you had to calm him down. You had to do it if you didn’t want him to kill you out of anger – especially since his brutal and crazy fit was enhanced by the fact he was high.  Yes, you definitely had to find a way to lure him into a more stable mood…Because you just knew that if he couldn’t have you, no one else would. With everything it implied. Gathering your courage, you looked up and hold his gaze even though pure terror shone in your hazel iris, “I’m… I’m sorry Arthur…” You gritted your teeth, black dots dancing in front of your eyes. Air. You needed some air.

“Hmm?” He replied, his lips still grazing yours. Nevertheless, the tender sensation of your skin against his made him loosen his grip around your neck.

“You’re—You’re right. We’ll do that.”

“Are we?” He groaned, rubbing his cheek against yours like a wildcat. If he could have purred at this moment, he would have certainly do so.

You forced a smile, but tears still ran down uncontrollably from your honey eyes, “Yes Arthur.” You finally said, letting his void swallow you whole. Why would you fight? Your fate was sealed, and you just knew you would never leave. Your future was to be with him and nothing would ever change that. Even if you managed to escape one day, you knew he would track you down until you were either his or dead and cold. All you could do now was just do your best not to get yourself killed.

A few days ago you were Y/N. A young and joyful student, whose excellent grades and good nature made your mother proud. Now you were just Bunny. Fucked up and enslaved Bunny. And Bunny belonged to Arthur Shelby.

For the best.

But particularly the worst.

Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

The image of the limo rabbit in the wolfs mouth was an idea of the talented @zablife

Tagging some of Arthur’s bunnies: @helen06dreamer @zablife @brummiereader @peakyltd @peakyswritings @dearshelby @raincoffeeandfandoms @kissforvoid @psychadelichues @shelbydelrey

Gif by Ria (@alicent-targaryen)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 316: We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Explosion

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “[powers up like whoa because it’s time to end the fight]”, and he saved Overhaul from getting not-shot, and then smashed up Nagant’s arm with the power of his new rechargeable super knees. Nagant was all “yoooo this kid is crazy strong whaaaat, it’s like he’s some kind of protagonist or something.” Deku was all “I AM A PROTAGONIST, ACTUALLY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN FORCES AND FIGHT BAD GUYS WITH ME?” Nagant was all “ah shit why the hell no -- ” and then AFO was all “SURPRISE” and everyone was all “?!?!?!” and AFO was all “TIME TO EXPLODE NOW” and made Nagant explode because he’s an absolute fucking dick. And then Hawks showed up, because Horikoshi just wanted to stuff as many plot points as humanly possible into a single chapter I guess.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is all “good job giving motivational shounen redemption speeches Deku but I’ll take it from here” and screams very earnestly right in Nagant’s face until she finally wakes up. Nagant is all “oh hey it’s my successor, you seem surprisingly unfucked-up from your own HPSC tenure, how did you manage that?” Hawks is all “fandom is going to love hearing this one, but basically it’s because I’m very upbeat and also I had the world’s best role model Endeavor to look up to,” and I swear this man stirs the pot on purpose, but damn it I still love him so damn much. Overhaul is all “HELLO AGAIN, JUST A REMINDER THAT, THE BOSS!!” and Deku is all “MAYBE TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REFLECT ON HOW YOU TORTURED A LITTLE GIRL,” which, thank you, lol. Nagant is all “btw AFO’s hiding in a house in the woods”, and so Deku and the gang go to the house in the woods. Video recording!AFO is all “hi I’m AFO welcome to Jackass” and blows up the house. Sometimes I wonder if this manga is just a weird dream.

I am once again reading the Bean version because I think it was actually the best out of all three translations last week. and that is surprisingly including Viz’s. “faux” is not nearly as entertaining as “knockoff”, and also I have literally no idea why Caleb thought Deku was saying the Third’s lines lol

oh hey, Endeavor’s here too! not that you’d ever be able to tell from this first panel lmao

glad you received All Might’s call, mysterious unidentified glowing smudge

oh snap he says he’s weaker in the rain. is that why AFO told Nagant to attack then?? except that as we discussed the other day, I believe that AFO fully intended for Nagant to lose the fight, so him giving her info that would give her an advantage doesn’t really fit in with that. maybe he wanted Deku to be separated from Endeavor and the rest for maximum angst, though

btw Deku’s eyes are unsurprisingly back to the new normal here

alas, the angst continues. I say, pretending like I’m not totally eating it up each and every week and writing essay after essay about it lol

anyway so apparently Hawks can’t actually fly lmao. he was just yeeting himself with style

for some reason this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen omfg. wave to Hawks, kids! say “bye, Hawks!”

j/k of course Deku is catching them. -- except???

wow so he was just running on fumes there at the end. well, good to know there is actually a limit to his shenanigans, particularly regarding this new “knockoff” 100% OFA. it will definitely not alleviate any of the discourse, but it’s good for my own peace of mind because it’s solid confirmation that he still needs his pals in order to win this thing

anyway, but on to the rest of this conversation, which is basically Deku deducing what we all deduced last week -- AFO implanted some sort of trap into Nagant when he gave her Air Walk. though I’d still like to get the actual details from AFO and/or Horikoshi, because this was particularly wild even by quirk standards lol

omgggggg

she still has a face after all!! so it’s confirmed, Horikoshi has no idea what “blowing up” actually means. we might have guessed, based on what happened to Toga in the MVA arc, and also based on everything Katsuki does ever, but shhh

so now Hawks is all “NAGANT PLEASE WAKE UP, IF I SHOUT MY NAME AT YOU WILL THAT DO THE TRICK”

this is actually kind of touching though because even though we all know (or most of us acknowledge at any rate) that Hawks is a pretty caring person, it’s rare to see him actually panic over someone’s welfare like this

oh shit Horikoshi is really doubling down on it

I wonder how much Hawks knew about what really happened between Nagant and the HPSC. regardless, he probably sees her as a kindred spirit of sorts, and I’m more than happy for Deku to pass the redemption torch onto him now that he’s on the scene. like no offense Deku but they actually know each other and stuff lol

DAMMIT NAGANT CAN’T YOU SEE HOW LOUD HE IS YELLING

apparently being freed from his HPSC shackles has finally given Hawks the space to embrace his own inner shounen protagonist. is there anything more shounen than trying to motivationally scream someone awake when they’re lying in your arms inches from death?? 100% guaranteed to work

!!! IS THIS NAGANT’S POV OMG

SO SHE IS ALIVE. THANK GOD. Horikoshi doesn’t want to meet with my emotional distress lawyer today after all

love how she’s all “just gonna stir up the weekly Hawks Discourse pot here by implying that he probably committed a lot of Atrocities just like I did, so now people can get all hopped up about that, even though there’s no evidence he’s ever killed anyone aside from that one horrible ‘damned-if-you-do...’ situation with Twice.” no one asked for your provocative speculation young lady!! trust me Nagant, our rabbles don’t need the rousing lol

but nice save there with the “so how are your eyes so untainted” well you see it’s because even when he was following the HPSC’s orders he always went to great lengths never to go against his own moral compass. which just to be clear was incredibly difficult, and led to a ton of pain and suffering on his part, because the life of a spy is basically just one impossible situation after another. but in spite of that he never stopped trying to do his best to help people. I don’t really know where this tangent came from or is leading to, lol, but anyway p.s.a. I love Hawks a lot and he’s a good kid dammit

oh shit??!?

how is the League always able to swing all these fancy forest mansions. where do they find them. how many do they have

so Deku’s dropping them -- very roughly, not sure if he was reacting to finally getting AFO’s location, or if his energy really is giving out -- and now Nagant’s saying that AFO hired other villains as well. well of course he did. gotta keep chipping away at OFA’s ninth successor little by little

now Nagant is asking Hawks how he’s able to keep making “that” face. I assume she’s again talking about the fact that he somehow didn’t let the HPSC wear down his spirit

oh my god???

thanks for stuffing this chapter to the brim with good nutritional Hawks Feels, Horikoshi. what a good. he just keeps on trudging forward undeterred no matter what bullshit comes his way. what a steadfast little guy. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM DISCOURSE MY SWEET SUNSHINE

lmaoooo

“SPOTTED THIS DUDE JUST CHILLING OUT THERE ON THE ROOF WITH NO ARMS, SEEMED PRETTY SUS” good job Endeavor

anyway so you don’t really need me to tell you that Overhaul is immediately starting in with the “BUT THE BOSS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BOSS YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOSS” stuff again. but I will go ahead and tell you anyway. so yeah. he’s doing that

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT DEKU’S “of all the fucking assholes to just randomly drop in on my life once again why did it have to be you” FACE THOUGH, OMG

fun fact, if you go back to chapters 124 through 160, there was an entire story arc where Overhaul imprisoned and tortured a little girl. yeah, I know!! suuuuuuuuper evil. anyways just an interesting little anecdote for you all that’s somewhat relevant to the current situation

OMG, YES. FUCK YES, DEKU

THEN WHAT ABOUT SPARING ONE FOR HER!!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE GETS IT

HERE’S THE PANEL OF DEKU SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING I’M SAYING LOL

(ETA: so apparently there’s some discourse about this because some people are interpreting this as Deku saying “you should apologize to Eri”, which would obviously be a terrible idea even if Overhaul actually wanted to do that, because Eri shouldn’t ever have to see him again. however I just want to point out that there is a HUGE difference between saying “it would be nice if you could direct that feeling of regret/being sorry towards Eri as well”, vs saying “you should also apologize to her.” all Deku is doing is rightfully pointing out that Overhaul has hurt way more people than just his boss, and if he really is remorseful, then he should extend those feelings of remorse to Eri and the rest as well. it’s not a directive to take any specific action, and I’m 1000% sure no one at U.A. would let Overhaul within 100 miles of Eri ever again.

tl;dr “try feeling remorse sometime” =/= “do you want me to fly you over to U.A. right now to surprise the little girl you traumatized”, lol.)

[slings an arm around Deku’s shoulders] you’re a good kid. I like you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but it’s true

meanwhile here is Overhaul’s “spare... a thought... for Eri...???????” face sigh

the struggle is real y’all

(ETA: and that’s... the last we ever saw of Overhaul, I guess? well all right then. I assume Deku will make good on his promise, so we know he’ll get that little bit of closure before going back to jail or whatever, and I confess I’m more than fine with leaving the rest of it open-ended, especially given his character’s history. I think this was pretty generous all things considered.)

lmao holy shit

All Might what did you do to those tiki torch guys?? did you thrash them. did you give ‘em those hands. did you deliver their own asses to them complete with a sticker reminding them Amazon Prime Day is on June 21. we missed out goddammit

so Endeavor, who wasn’t the one he was asking, is telling him that they captured (well let’s be real, Deku captured, give the credit where it’s due) Nagant and Overhaul. and so I guess they’re going to take Nagant to the ER now

fire is no one’s weakness

-- oh my GOD I scrolled down and audibly gasped

[is politely but firmly approached and asked to remove my arm from Deku’s shoulder by the physical manifestation of all this Dekuangst] “we’re sorry, he’s not allowed to have visitors right now” oh shit, my bad. [goes to stand behind a police barricade]

lmao what. did you run out of room on the previous page

what an exaggerated fade to black lmao

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually can’t see what he’s reacting to so maybe I’m just seriously jumping the gun here lol, but THE HELL WITH IT. the next panel appears to be a cut to Haibori Forest, so I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Deku ran off on his own all wounded to go have more Dekuangst, just like I manifested. now go call Katsuki goddammit

[scrolls three more inches down] oh

yeah so like I said, Deku is walking very slowly a few feet in front of Endeavor, who’s telling him to wait up. yep. we’ve all gotta be so careful to not just jump to conclusions. I know we’re excited but still

anyway, so! welcome back to Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods (ARE YOU GUYS DATING) and Edgeshot! have fun walking into this obvious trap lol

dammit Deku why are you so determined to tempt fate

[monkey puppet meme faces]

OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GRADE-A CHEESY COMIC BOOK VILLAIN 101 SHIT AND I’M HERE FOR IT

that’s such a weird way of clapping who claps like that

unlike certain other people who shan’t be named, AFO doesn’t feel the need to inexplicably take his shirt off when recording sinister villain monologues. I think we’re all pretty grateful for that

high fives to everyone who called it!! yep yep

anyway so this whole scene has major booby-trap vibes, which I’m enjoying immensely even though I don’t think anything is really going to come of it lol. probably just another long-winded AFO Speech. but wouldn’t it be funny if like the ceiling started lowering down to try and squish Deku afterwards lol

(ETA: well the explosion was still pretty funny too ngl.)

ffff

[“Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies]

anyway so yeah. he’s just hitting up all of his usual villain talking points. we get it, you’re so smart and you see right through the thin veneers of society and people who don’t conform are left to fend for themselves and labeled as villains and history is written by the victors, and blah blah blah dude are you just jumping randomly from one soundbyte to another lol. literally what are you talking about. what does this have to do with you blowing up Nagant

-- holy shit??

[”Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies MORE?????]

LOL WHAT

BRO. WHAT IS WITH YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO LAY ANY OTHER KIND OF FUCKING TRAP GOOD LORD

“YOU’RE NEXT” THE CALLBACK?? THE PARALLELS?? THOUGH WHEN ALL MIGHT POINTED HE MADE IT LOOK WAY COOLER. AFO’S POINTING JUST LOOKS LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR

HAS ANYONE CHECKED IN ON KAMUI WOODS I HEAR HE IS WEAK TO FIRE?? THE ONLY ONE WHO IS, APPARENTLY

r.i.p. to this particular forest mansion. don’t worry they have a ton of backups

remember last week when I said maybe AFO thinks explosions are gauche. well never mind. he fucking loves explosions

anyway so that’s the end of BnHA, everyone. hope you enjoyed. it was a good ride while it lasted. see you all, good luck in your travels

[kumonokyojin]

Juju Talk Episode 1 Highlights

My favorite parts from the first episode of JJK’s podcast, Juju Talk! Enoki Junya (Itadori’s VA) and Uchida Yuuma (Fushiguro’s VA) are such a fun pair to listen to, haha! I figured I’d post this since Yuuma will be back again as a guest for the upcoming episode.

Highlights

Episode intro: Itadori tells Fushiguro pets aren’t allowed in the studio - Megumi’s response? “DIVINE DOGS AREN’T PETS!” haha

Both Junya and Yuuma complain about how difficult it is to say “jujutsu”, “jujutsushi”, and other related words - they get nervous (doki doki) every time they have to say “Jujutsu Kaisen” (lol)

They both find Itadori amazing for having swallowed Sukuna’s finger, Yuuma remarked that it reminded him of how magicians would swallow knives as a magic trick

Junya said at first glance Itadori seems like a straightforward and simple character, but even now there’s still parts of him he doesn’t understand or actions he took that were surprising

For example, he had the most difficulty during the scene where Itadori realizes how weak he is and admits he doesn’t want to die against the special grade in episode four, his initial plan was more of a yelling tone and acting pained but the direction asked for him to calm down during his monologue so it took a little time to adjust his state of mind (lol)

Yuuma found Fushiguro actually a little bit easier to understand than Itadori - he’s a logical character who has lived his life by weighing and making decisions, a person who spends a lot of time thinking

He adds that Fushiguro has his own “defense plan” to protect his heart (awww)

Even though he looks like a cool and level-headed character and the opposite of Itadori, Yuuma saw Fushiguro as a strongly emotional character from the very beginning with his request to save Itadori, based off Fushiguro’s declaration that it was his personal feelings - he saves the people he wants to save

Junya thought that actually, on the contrary, Fushiguro is the more emotional one compared to Itadori

Both found it notable that the main characters Itadori, Fushiguro, and Kugisaki had so much time away from each other (nine episodes!) during the first cour - the VAs didn’t meet together much in the studio

Yuuma guessed that regarding Fushiguro’s reaction to Itadori’s “surprise” return, probably his first thought was just “Hah?” and trying to process the fact Itadori was alive before any feelings of happiness haha

Junya noted how Fushiguro was the first one to notice a change in Itadori after his return and thinks that not just Fushiguro, but Itadori and Kugisaki are really good at sensing and reading each others’ hearts and emotions

Both Junya and Yuuma are in consensus that they don’t understand Gojou at all (LMAO)

Junya said the recording studio was dangerous because of so many JJK-related snacks and refreshments like Kikufuku Mochi, collab Puccho, and free Home Run Bar ice cream (they want JJK to do a collab someday with the baseball ice cream haha)

Q&A time!

When asked what kind of jujutsushi he would be, Yuuma said he always wanted to fly but maybe not like Momo, perhaps transforming into Nue? But then they both agree it wouldn’t be very JJK-like nor shikigami-like haha

Junya would want to be a jugonshi like Toge so he could become the strongest VA ever and pass auditions and do one-takes easily, but then worried about the potential heavy repercussions so he said he would just use it only for important work haha

Junya and Yuuma were asked from when or what kind of situation do they personally emit negative emotions (so that they become curses like JJK)

Junya said it’s when he’s hungry (LOL) - when he was little, his older brother would often steal his food and those were the only times he’d get really pissed haha

Yuuma says it’s when he gets personally frustrated with himself when he forgets things or his abilities don’t match up to what he wants, like today (the day of the recording), he forgot lost his key to his home and called his landlord right before the podcast recording (omg)

When asked if Junya and Yuuma read the original source material to prepare for the audition, they both agree that anime and manga are very different mediums and that factors in when portraying a character’s current state of mind

Yuuma said he tries not to read too much ahead of any source manga (just one or two volumes) when recording for an anime because it limits and ties down his approach to a character, making it difficult to change later

Junya agreed that he also does his best not to take a lot from the manga into the anime, such as adding things when they shouldn’t be added

He also claimed he has precognition when it comes to predicting whether he passes or fails auditions right haha

He said for JJK he wasn’t certain but he was 50% sure like how weather forecasts do it

Yuuma’s reaction: “Eh? Don’t just say noncommittal things like that!” (LOL)

---

It’s so interesting because I find Enojun’s personality (so chill) similar to Fushiguro while Yuuma’s is much more like Itadori’s (the boke vibe he gives off is hilarious). It really does make me appreciate both VA’s ranges when acting.

Anyway, I’m excited to listen to what they’ll talk about next week, especially regarding the upcoming episode! If you made it this far, thanks for reading! Hopefully, I’ll have the time to do a translation for another interview with these two soon.

[percabethfiles]

Charlie

Uh... Hello? Anybody still here? I haven't been around in years and years. But I keep my fandoms stored in some corner of my brain waiting for something to tug them out. And of all things this time it was Taylor Swift re-releasing her old songs, because I used to imagine so many percabeth scenes listening to "Fearless". So have this little something that's been sitting unfinished in my archives for years now.

Remember that time Percy saw Sadie Kane and thought “Hey, this is what mine and Annabeth’s daughter would look like”? Yes.

(Also there are small nods to that fic I wrote about Logan, Hidden Heritage, but I've been meaning to re-write it someday because there were SO MANY PLOT HOLES omg)

When they find out it’s a girl it’s a bit too soon to know for sure, or so the doctor tells them. They’ll have to wait for the next appointment to know for certain. “So don’t go buying any tiny dresses yet,” he jokes and they laugh along, but they’ve been together for approximately eighteen years now, they can tell what the other’s thinking with a glance and the ecstatic grin that breaks through their lips lets him know they’re on the same page. Too late. They’re already thinking plush bow and arrows and a Merida costume for her first Halloween.

Percy tries to keep his cool. As the weeks progress, he tries not to get his hopes up, but in his heart he knows already. They hadn’t really had a preference before, they’d been too happy knowing their baby was fully human and had all its limbs (with the number of deities they’d pissed off, you never knew), but a little girl? It feels right after their two boys, it feels like their family will be complete.

(He thinks about a slight blonde girl with streaked hair and a British accent dropping from the sky on a magic camel, remembers thinking “if Annabeth and I had a daughter…” and his chest squeezes tight with happiness so raw he has a little trouble breathing)

When the doctor beams at them next appointment and says “Congratulations, Jackson family, it really is a girl,” he’s not surprised, but no less elated. He doesn’t hear the lame joke about Jackson Five, he’s too busy trying to be a manly man and not burst into tears because he’s going to have a daughter. When Annabeth’s in the other room paying for the appointment, and he’s waiting for the doctor to print the really impressive high tech 3D picture of the ultrasound, the man asks him “So did you go ahead and buy a tiny dress anyway?”

Percy blushes.

The man shakes his head in amusement. “Every time”.

His work colleagues, proud dads of little girls themselves, try to terrorize him with tales of tea parties and future boyfriends, and Percy thinks somewhere in the middle of all that teasing they mean well, but really, he’s mostly annoyed. It’s not like he’s new to parenthood, he’s got two sons already and they seem to be turning out okay, and before, when Logan and Nathan were just a nice dream for the future, there was Estelle, the little sister Percy had never expected, but loved to bits all the same.

And then Charlie is born.

She’s tiny, warm and pink, all curled up in her yellow cable-knit blanket, a tuft of blonde hair peeking out of a tiny, tiny beanie, features scrunched into the most adorable variation of a grumpy face. He’s not new to parenthood, he’s been here twice before, but the rush of affection and protectiveness and awe and raw love is just as genuine. He’s smiling like a dork, can’t seem to stop, walking from side to side, avidly searching her traits. She’s bigger than Nate was when he’d been born, but smaller than Logan. Her hair was light, like Nate’s, would it stay blonde or darken with time? Would her eyes be like his or Annabeth’s? And oh, she had her mother’s nose (they all did).

It never fails to amaze him how such a small, vulnerable being can shake up his whole world until it’s made a space for her. And he’s done this before, he’s no first time sailor this time, he’d thought he had it all under control. But she blinks and looks up at him with half-lidded eyes and a frowny face and—they’re green. Her eyes are the blue-green Logan’s are, Percy’s are.

(He’s got two sons who are his life, and he does love all his children equally, but holding his daughter for the first time, he thinks he understands his friends’ warnings. He doesn’t love her more, it’s just… different. It’s special.)

When he goes back to work, Nick takes one look at him and bursts into laughter. He claps him on the shoulder in commiseration.

“I told you.”

He’s completely wrapped around her finger already.

It’s not too different, he finds out. Especially having been pre-trained by Estelle. He’s got to brush up on his Disney princess knowledge, and hair braiding skills. He hasn’t gotten much better at color coordinating the polka dotted bows and tiny shoes, but Charlie is really forgiving. She is a very happy baby, much happier and easy going than any of the boys had been.

She’s also fucking crazy.

She is smaller and skinnier than her brothers, likes to wear frilly dresses and talk to plush animals and dance around the house in a pink tutu, but she’s wild. She never learned to crawl, just held on to the couch until she was wobbling on two feet, and it seemed like the very next day she was running across the house, the mall, the park, and if he turned his eyes away for one second, she was shooting off in the streets and nearly getting run over.

He’d found her dangling from the kitchen cabinets, trying to reach the cowering cat. She had a phase when she thought she could fly and she would climb furniture and stairs and the window sill and just… Launch herself into the air expecting her flying powers to manifest spontaneously. If they hadn’t been trying to raise them away from the whole mythological world, he would have sat her down and clarified that she had the wrong Olympian Grandparent in mind. She might have had more luck jumping into the ocean.

She had a way to jut out her lower lip, and turn those big green eyes on him that could render his every effort to be a responsible parental presence useless.

Besides, she was so funny. He could never muster enough anger to discipline her, because if he found her on the kitchen table covered in peanut butter, somehow sporting a very sticky Mohawk, and looking entirely unapologetic, well, he just couldn’t stop laughing.

One day he’s coming home from work and he hasn’t even pulled the key from the lock when Charlie calls out ‘you’re back daddy,’ in what sounds vaguely like a new jersey accent. He finds her sitting on the floor of the living room, drowning in one of Annabeth’s bathrobes, pink plastic barbie sunglasses on, holding a pooh bear sippy cup with one hand and a pinky stretched out.

“Charlie, what are you doing?”

“It’s wine Wednesday, daddy.”

“It’s what?”

“Wine Wednesday.”

He had half a mind to check if her sippy cup actually contained wine because they hid their alcohol way up in the cabinets she can’t reach but that girl could climb like a monkey. He knows he should follow that remark up with some kind of questioning of where she’d even heard of ‘wine Wednesdays’ and then explain that kids don’t drink wine or some other kind of responsible parent speech, but a sudden burst of incredulous laughter bubbles up in his throat and he takes refuge in the kitchen, lest he encourages her behavior.

He finds Annabeth there, hand over her mouth, clearly in stitches over their daughter’s performance. He wants to question if she gave her permission to wear her bathrobe but finding his wife nearly doubled over in silent laughter in the kitchen is too much and he finally lets out the guffaw he’d been trying to hold on to.

It’s not the first time Charlie leaves them breathless with laughter, and he’s almost scared of what she’s going to cook up in the future.

Charlie is a hellion.

There isn’t one person safe from her pranks, but she’s so adorable she hardly ever catches hell for it, and she’s learning to use it in her favor – thankfully, just in time for her parents to develop immunity to her puppy eyes. And she’s… difficult, yes, but not always, and not in a terrible way. For all her climbing the roof, organizing illegal cookie sales, getting in fights with her classmates, she’s not a bad kid. She’s got Percy’s penchant for befriending the kids no one wants to go near, and defending her ragtag team of losers. She’s loyal to a fault, and it gets her in trouble often.

She and Nate have epic jealousy fights over everything, including – but not limited to – Logan’s attention, the crayons, the biggest piece of cake and all the videogame characters in the world are not enough, they will always want whatever the other picked. It gives them many, many headaches. Logan, on the other hand, positively spoils her, and whenever Charlie gets in trouble they can be sure to find her hiding behind her big brother while he gives them this solemn look and says “It’s ok, mom and dad, Charlie promises she won’t do it again. We’ve talked.”

When the whole “Logan being attacked by a dracanae in school and thus finding out his Olympian heritage” debacle came to pass, and they started frequenting camp again, there was nowhere in the entire Camp Charlie would rather be than the stables. She’d spend hours there with the Aphrodite kids, brushing the pegasi and talking to them endlessly about all her classmates and her friends, and her dolls, and her new dress, and the new book grandma gave her. It was all really cute until Percy realized the pegasi were talking back, and she fully understood their replies.

And it’s funny, really, because Logan had taken after Percy, to a point where bathing him had been hard as a child because he tended to stay dry in the tub, and Nathan was Annabeth to a T, but Charlie was a perfect mix of them both.

He guesses it makes sense it would be so explosive.

When Charlie is twelve, she gets kicked out of school.

Percy is not overly worried about it himself – the number of schools he’d been kicked out of reached double digits, and this was only her first – but he is worried about how she will feel. Getting the boot from a place that’s housed you for years, where your friends are, where everyone already knows you and having to start over is never pleasant, no matter how used to it you were.

He’d expected the school to have gotten tired of all her pranks and misbehaving, which was fair, he guessed. But when Annabeth comes home from the meeting with the school director, she is seething, and not at their daughter. Charlie is angry too. In fact, it’s the first time he’s ever seen his daughter well and truly pissed off. The two of them are a sight for nightmares, both blondes standing side by side ranting with righteous fury, they look ready to start a revolution. What he gets from her angry snarls and Charlie’s rushed rambling is that Charlie had talked back to a teacher that was picking on the autistic kid and demeaning the thirteen year old who was repeating sixth grade.

She’d called him a brain-washing small minded overgrown bully who, he was quoting, didn’t get enough love from his parents.

And Percy is so proud his eyes even get a little misty.

Because he’s getting old and sentimental and raising kids is very hard. No one knows what they’re doing, not one person, not even the fancy psychologists with those books on raising perfect, well rounded, high-achieving members of society that Annabeth insisted on reading when she was pregnant with Logan. You do your best and you hope for the best, and you don’t know what you get until it’s basically too late to do anything about it. And even if he did have the best mom in the history of the entire world to draw example from, he was also half of an absent Olympian father whose heritage condemned him to dance in and out of battlefields half his life.

He’s always been terrified of being a crap father.

He looks at Charlie cussing out with every mild version of actual cuss words, stalking around the kitchen like a little lioness in a cage, furious at the unfairness of the whole situation, caring less about being expelled and more about who was going to defend her friends from that awful teacher when she’s gone.

His daughter is only twelve, but she’s already so brave, such a force of nature. She won’t stand for injustice, and she won’t take insult lying down. And she’s so kind. She’s growing up, and the person she is slowly turning out to be… is good.

And something in his heart shifts and settles down, smooths over old fears and anxious thoughts.

Percy doesn’t mean to brag, but he thinks he’s not doing half bad as a parent.

[romancemoon]

Just popping on here quick because, as much as I'm kind of taking a break while my interest is elsewhere, I really do adore Virote and your writing.

I'd really love to eventually find a way/muse (or when I finally get around to setting up that reaper OC I was talking about lol) to interact with you in his main verse because it's so fleshed out and all the NPCs you create really help bring out his character and help make your world come to life. Though, of course, I am most familiar with him in the g.ta verse, but even there you really don't spare going all out with him. Pulling off a character that really is kind of like an npc you would pass on the street is super difficult. It would be really easy to make him flat or boring, but he has so much going on with him that he gives me the vibe of someone you would make some small talk with and an hour later you're still standing there talking to him asjkhfsak

Plus, you've helped foster so much development in Niko that I honestly can't really begin to explain it all. lol You were one of the few people who prompted me to dig into his background and let me talk about how that shaped him as a character, then his relationship with Virote came just completely out of left field. I was wholly down for them being friends and then I could see Niko catching some sort of feelings for him and it snowballed from there. You are really good on creating dynamic interactions and yet you know Vi inside-out, front to back, and it shows in everything you do. Considering how long you've written him, it makes sense that you do but it's really something to see.

Anyway, I'm worried about word limits but I just adore Vi and it's a shame you've had such issues with partners in the past *cough* but I'm so glad I've stuck around. Hopefully I'll get back on here soon because I really do miss these two sajkhfsa

✨ @emptyvictory. meme. still accepting!

rory bestiee,,,,

omg this is probably the sweetest thing in the history of ever, i was at the auto shop getting some car stuff done when u sent this so while i was waiting i read this and i was like OOUHGUHGUOGFIGJLDK. omg we’ve been through so much... soooo much and it’s made us closer which is funny cuz it wasnt supposed to lolol. omg isnt it funny that the other day while we were talking about a long while ago i had actually seen u around when u had another muse but never followed u because things get dicey with canon rpers and theyre not very welcoming towards certain ocs? how the turns tabled...........

i love niko a lot............ viko is such a great ship and can u believe the RIDICULOUS HOURS we’ve spent talking about them and their stupid, sweet, weird life together....... i actually thought theyd just be friends too but ya kno. niko is a shivering, depressed eastern european with a great ass and cheekbones that could cut diamond so you know vi had to help himself to some of that....

and ur portrayal got me to peep gta 4 and im glad because i think its the best game in the entire franchise lol. its got more heart than the other games...... anyway......  i luv being ur friend. we talk about so much stuff too. some good, some bad.... some scandalous gfdjgklfd heehee.

im so glad we’re friends. ur my big favorite. :”) i trust you with everything! and the inspiration u give me? wtf. some of the best writing ive done in a long time came from our threads. and theyre always so emo.... most of the time. 

and virote will always be niko’s npc boyfriend...... whether he likes it or not, virote will be the worst npc uve ever met.

cant wait for ur reaper

.theyre gonna be awful people to each other............. like a cartoon rivalry where vi tries to drop an anvil on him... looney toons headasses

[rpbetter]

I'm so tired of roleplaying with people who don't put half the commitment I do into our threads and muses. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm a weirdo or like I don't belong for that. Any other hobby and people wouldn't care if I took it seriously. Why is roleplaying different? How can I keep going like this if I'm getting rudeness from all sides? I can't even go outside my already tiny bubble and find more partners, because I always see people putting roleplayers like me down and it's exhausting.

"Why is roleplaying different?"

Well, Anon, I know that was a rhetorical question, but I have some thoughts on that. To the surprise of no one!

I strongly believe that this is an issue with how fandom has come to dominate roleplaying. As I've said before, it really wasn't always like that. Of course, you always had canon characters and almost all RPers were invested in a fandom or two. The difference was that online RP was once viewed much more like tabletop RPGs are.

When the RPC became a near-total offshoot of Fandom, a lot of shit changed and very rapidly...and within Fandom, a lot of shit was changing very rapidly as well at that time.

RP has always been something looked down on (though, at least no one ever accused written RP online of being literally demonic like they did DnD, or made correlations to murder sprees like they did LARPing, so there's that) as strange, not the good, understandable sort of dorky.

Part of that is almost certainly because of the difference in the way society views writing vs the way it views hobbies like gaming - writing is seen as an intellectual pursuit and a job, gaming, even at its most negative points of view in wider society, has been seen traditionally as a downtime activity only.

But. RP was not looked down upon from within Fandom or in roleplay communities themselves like it is now.

When the whole experience of fandoms themselves became extremely mainstream and open, it welcomed in a ton of shit ideas and behaviors that were not previously prevalent. It changed RP, too, along many of those same lines.

When your hobby is considered objectionably weird by people within the fandoms you love and RP in and that makes you a sort of lowest-tier fan, the viewpoint of RP to RPers becomes something lesser than a valid hobby. When RPers are the same people who engage with Fandom monetarily, anything not monetized is passively consumable content, including RP. And RPers are trying to both deflect shame and struggling with wider society's mixed messages, that now hit them everywhere online as well. Shit like, "you don't have to monetize your hobby, it's okay to just make really good cross stitches of memes for yourself" and "if you're not paying me, you have no control over me."

We seriously do not view RP as a proper hobby anymore, that's why. There are many factors to that, those are just few, but that's the ultimate answer. It's not seen that way because it's not valued in the same way.

I think much of the problem with muns losing their entire shit over anyone else approaching the hobby differently, dare I say...more seriously, is related to a lot of complex psychology about self-esteem, control, and anxiety. So many people here struggle with serious self-worth and confidence issues, and I think to many of them, whether they realize it or not, when they see serious RPers, they feel like that's an inherent judgment and a danger to their own enjoyment. Because RP, as writing, is a skilled hobby - the more you practice it, the more skilled you become with it. Meaning that someone who approaches the writing seriously is going to be at a higher skill level.

Enter the way we're training to think about writing again - when they see someone who is very practiced, skilled, and confident with their writing, the learned idea is that they're somehow superior in a nasty, personal way.

I most certainly do not think that makes it alright, it isn't, and I'm not very tolerant of it.

It's absolutely alright to engage with RP in any way you see fit. If that's extremely casual, it's a minor hobby for you, that's great! I'm so happy you're enjoying yourself, and I mean that in no facetious way. But not when that is the only form of it respected and accepted. It's just as alright to have RP as your primary, serious hobby!

The only way we can all enjoy a hobby with such great variance within it is by respecting each other's variables, not by vilifying them. It's recognizing that, no matter how much you enjoy the mun and/or muse, they're not engaging with the hobby in the way you are, it's not a good fit to write together. (Please, begging y'all to be friends with those who are different, not enemies, shit's sake. You've not got to write together to be friends!) Instead of labeling them and being hateful. Different =/= a threat.

And, to go off a bit lol y'all demonizing serious RPers really don't get that there are some intense tones of ableism and more going on in that narrative of yours, huh?

Not that anyone requires a reason to be serious about any hobby, but when people pick a hobby like RP as their primary one...you should probably have the maturity to consider why that is. Could it be that they focus on a hobby they can do from their homes and that requires low physical involvement, and has a degree of separation from direct socializing, for a reason?

Serious RPers tend to be limited in their ability to pursue other hobbies. Mental and physical health, region, finances, and ability to spend time outside of the home are all very common limits for those who "take RP too seriously/are addicted to RP."

Maybe take five seconds away from your own issues to consider that the person you're shitting on for something so minor as a difference of importance of a hobby might be the full-time caretaker of a special needs child, having to remain home and on a very small income. They might be chronically ill or suffer from agoraphobia. They might live in an area with no hobbies of interest, affordability, or at all...or they might live somewhere that is incredibly dangerous for them.

I honestly do not know where these people have been that they've been aggressed at by serious RPers, but that's usually the excuse. (I'm not saying it has never happened or does not happen, before anyone goes there.) The idea that serious RPers are extreme elitists who are demanding that other muns do what they do, how they do it. That they expect other muns to be online and RPing all the time, that they be "available for entertainment at all times" at the cost of real-life matters. Having the expectation that threads not be dropped constantly or that a writing partner not leave for months with no contact is neither of those things.

In over two decades of RPing across almost every platform type that has existed, I have literally never seen that be either a singular RPer-type problem or one that serious RPers are even more likely to deal in. I've seen the opposite, actually. Which is not a condemnation or a statement that all casual RPers do this, just what my experience has been. And one that actually stands to reason based on the way they view and engage with RP - quick replies, quick entertainment, and very low commitment to threads, muses, or other muns. Of course, it's annoying to them when a more serious RPer is unwilling to do rapid-fire style quick, short threads from an ask with them, but is writing the lengthy replies they already owed instead.

That's probably a factor as well, in here among a plethora of misunderstanding/unawareness of differences - for many serious RPers, it's not easier and more fun to write short, quick threads. So, what a casual RPer is seeing is that they're willing to put all this extraordinary effort into a massive reply to someone else while their easy, fun, quickly done thread is waiting in line.

Misunderstandings and unawareness breed hostility, period. And there is a hell of a lot of those things in the RPC.

What serious RPers are expressing are either boundaries/expectations or frustration. Not a demand that you be around all the time, but an expectation that you leave them alone if you're not also a serious RPer who will be committed to threads and muses. Not hostility and elitism, the frustration that it's already difficult to find muns who will work out before you add in the majority rule of casual RPers.

It's incredibly disheartening, frustrating, and honestly, a bit anxiety-inducing to constantly be the weird one, always have few choices, and to be at risk of being Problematic purely because you take the hobby seriously. You can't vent without someone jumping on your ass to remind you (even if you said numerous times that "real life comes first" and "people can do what they want") that omg, people have lives, people can do what makes them happy, it's just RP.

It's so upsetting when you think you might have found a good writing partner, then, you see a PSA they've reblogged about how it's a "hobby, not a jobby," and "no one owes anyone anything, ever." Excuse me, as that last one is a direct quote, let me redo it so it is verbatim: "no one owes anyone here anything - EVER !!!"

I said I wasn't very tolerant :)

But seriously, exactly what you've expressed is why I'm not...it's another form of controlling others instead of trying your best to control your own experience, and it's often extremely hateful. I'm not tolerant of anything like that, it's no longer supporting preferences at that point. When your preference is the only one that will be tolerated in the community, it's not a preference anymore.

It's something that makes others feel isolated, afraid of harassment, and depressed. It is a hobby and it isn't supposed to make you feel like that!

And, no, absolutely the fuck not lol the "answer" to this isn't that you're taking it too seriously and need to take a break. I'm so tired of seeing that shit tacked onto RPH responses and vents and PSAs. You're not saying that RP is making you feel this way, "just take a break and come back when you agree with everyone else" isn't a solution.

Of course, if you do feel like your time here has become so upsetting? Yeah, obviously, you should try to find some other things to supplement your downtime that make you feel happier again. Engage in some other forms of writing just meant for yourself, or that can be published as fics. Spend some more time on a game you enjoy for a while, or get invested in a new one. Learn to shape bonsai or make no-knead rolls. Whatever would make you happy as a hobby when you're not here.

Other than that, however, well...we're not going to be implying on this blog that you're too serious and need to take a hiatus until you have no emotional investment in your hobby. That's insane. I'd not say it about hiking, martial arts, dog obedience competitions, hobby farming, or painting either.

I wish I could think of some solutions as to where you could look that wasn't like this, but it's definitely the majority of the RPC. It doesn't help that, due to this, serious RPers have a tendency to quietly stick together and not venture out into the RPC. They're just not incredibly easy to find.

I will say that they tend to be:

novella - if you're not here for serious RP and sticking around for a while, you're not going to invest the time and energy into particularly lengthy writing

older RPers - I would say that twenty-five is probably the youngest, with early thirties to late forties being the majority

in fandoms with a large adult base of fans - even if it's a franchise friendly to, or even meant for, younger fans, if it has a particularly active adult fanbase, it's a better chance of finding serious RPers in it

as above, old fandoms - fandoms that have been around for a long time tend to have more serious RPers in them

fandomless OCs - tend to have a higher chance of being written by serious RPers than canons or heavily fandom-involved OCs

RPers who do not do a ton of advertising for their muse(s), but when they do, they don't advertise them based on activism points or trends

slightly more likely to not have an emphasis on highly aesthetic blogs, graphics, icons etc. - they use a modified basic tumblr theme, low on graphics, their aesthetics are not on-trend, for example

anti-content policing/"write what you want" style muns

muns with more extensive rules pages - they plan to be here for a while, they take writing, RP, and their muse(s) seriously, so, it's a bit more important to them to head off problems before they start

those with older characters/FCs - be that literally in age or the character being one that has existed for a long time

"stay in your lane" style muns - if they're opining on fandom or the RPC, they must really be angry about something

those with numerous and detailed headcanons - for example, their response to a HC meme ask like, "what's your muse's favorite ice cream flavor?" is going to be treated seriously, not simply answered with "mint chocolate chip because my bby is gross"

As usual, not a complete or perfect list. I don't fit some of the things on there! It could give you some things to look for when trying to find other serious RPers, though. It's based on observances from someone who was never a casual RPer, even as a minor (me, obviously), and maybe it could at least keep you from continuously running into hostility about your approach to RP.

I've honestly considered making a list of some sort expressly for RPers who are on the more serious end of the spectrum, but...in a RPC back when things were dominated by serious RPers, I did that sort of thing with a RPH I had, and it still got labeled as being a list for and by Elitists. I don't know that anyone would want to put themselves out there for potential harassment on tumblr, you know? It was a joke then, just having a group of RPers label you as an Elitist. Here, you get told to kill yourself, and none of us need more of that shit, right?

Try to hang in there, Anon, I know it's upsetting, and I'm so sorry that something fun has gotten to be like this.

Try to understand that these people are coming from a place of irrational defensiveness, often in response to bullying themselves at some point or feeling bad about themselves. That doesn't make it right, but it does make it easier to not take to heart.

And keep at it! In my experience here, once you find a group of people you fit into, it really is...A Group. Especially among RPers who are ostracized, they stick together, they promote each other, and they're very happy for their mutuals to become your mutuals. Once you find them, it unlocks so many opportunities for the interactions and type of RP you've been missing!

[timextoxhajima]

hi, law school anon here who sent in an ask a long time ago! while i may not be a practising lawyer yet, i wanted to back you up regarding some of the things you said to the user sending hate.

celebrities, by putting themselves in the public eye, are consciously making the choice to be subject to many privacy issues that even the law cannot protect them from (other than sasaeng activities like stalking, etc that cause physical harm, etc etc — there is a limit to how much the internet can be regulated) . sure, we can debate about how the law may be inadequate in protecting the privacy of celebrities, but ultimately it is difficult to prove anything when celebrities have knowingly made the decision to put themselves in the public eye despite the consequences and risks involved.

while writing erotica about a real life person may fall into an ethically grey area, it legally cannot classify as an invasion of privacy because fanfiction is obviously /fictional/, and readers read it knowing that the characters are based off celebrities, but the plot/smut is a part of the writer’s creation. it is not true and not meant to harm the celebrities’ reputation, or distort the public’s perception of their actual character in any way. any reasonable person would be able to tell.

since that person seems to be following your blog so closely, i’ll just say this: if you don’t like it, you can choose not to interact. while writing erotica may not hold up in court, cyberbullying is a cause for action. dana has been nice enough to treat you in a civil manner despite your continuous harassment.

to dana, i hope you’re alright! idk if this helped at all, but i want to reassure you that you are not doing anything wrong.

omg IT'S THE ANON WHO ANALYSED MY WRITING FOR HOSTIS SKKSSKSK i was ACTUALLY starting to wonder where you were (unrelated to this whole mess) like i was thinking about where all my anons were at any point of time (and your feedback actually changed my writing style just a tad bit so THANK YOU FOR THAT)

I absolutely LOVED this, thank you for taking the time out to write about what you actually know and that it's pretty much irrefutable 🤯 i just hope nobody sends a random ask trashing you cause that would mean that they really hop onto every opportunity just to debunk someone's statements (even if they are fucking LAWFULLY CORRECT) just to support and prove their sentiments so yeet

I'm alright! I'm tired but at the stage where im just like- let it stop please... u wanna be angry? Nobody's stopping you. But why create a hate train? It's not like writers are gonna stop writing 🥲