#OKAY THAT'S ALL wow I'm ranting
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tricksterlatte · 1 year ago
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Yearning for another fandom historical event that makes me feel the way I felt when they confirmed Tracer was a lesbian. Please...it was so triumphant
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cheriafreya · 1 month ago
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still kind of shocked about how quickly my hype for Genshin's Natlan region faded like I never expected something like this to happen this fast...
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monstermoviedean · 3 hours ago
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coworker was going on and on about the importance of regulating your nervous system today and i'm thinking 1) you don't know what that means and 2) if i were a teenager and someone told me to regulate my nervous system i would start throwing things. frankly it's hard not to throw things when hearing that as an adult.
#and i'm being the bad guy saying no actually that's not something we can recommend without issue because that will be 'controversial'#there's also something so weird and bass ackwards about assuming that all children are in crisis right now#it's like saying they're all experiencing trauma. when that is not at all how trauma works#and i piped up and said yeah probably 50% of kids are doing fine right now re: politics and would be annoyed to be treated otherwise#like 'oh you must be so broken over this.' no. not really.#and that doesn't mean we have to bend over backwards to cater to those kids but you do have to keep them in mind#if i showed up crying at work the day after the 2016 election there would have been student and parent complaints#in 2021 my school attempted to adopt a policy requiring pre-approval to teach anything 'controversial'#with 'controversial' defined as anything two people could reasonably disagree on#so walking into a class of 30 kids and saying 'since we're all traumatized let's do some deep breathing to heal our nervous systems' is#not gonna fly. more teachers will come under scrutiny and will get in trouble. that's not something we should be telling them to do#oof sorry. multiple tangents there.#point being. even if learning to 'regulate your nervous system' was totally achievable it still wouldn't be universally accepted#and god forbid anyone have any kind of physical or psychological or emotional difference that affects their 'regulation' 🙃#it just feels like such a trap to say you can fix yourself by self-regulating. because if you fail then what?#oh god i just remembered the convo turning to 'evidence-based practices' and how she said that's bullshit and white supremacy#because you should have practice-based evidence instead...#try something and if it works then it works and it's valid is how she described that. ugh#listen I won't die on the evidence-based practices hill but so many people in my work orbit treat it like a dirty phrase#like it's just some annoying procedural hoop to jump through for no reason#you know you can hurt people by just doing random stuff to them right?!#fuck.#i am so tired. I don't want to talk about my feelings at work. I don't want to 'hold space' for 'difficult emotions'#and i'm getting tired of listening to coworkers dump their shit on me too#but can i say 'hey you are dysregulated and that is making me dysregulated'? nope. definitely not.#because the default assumption is everyone talks through all their feelings all the time. so if you're not then you're doing it wrong.#talking through my feelings is what i have a blog and a notes app and inanimate objects for#and i'm doing pretty well with all that. i just don't want to do it at work#I think i can be my 'authentic self' without blurting out whatever is in my brain at that particular moment regardless of appropriateness#okay. done ranting. sorry. if you read this far goddamn wow congrats. i love you <3 have a good day okay? <3
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happy-hokkyokugitsune · 1 year ago
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searching for the animal our kid likes:
Me: what the fuck, this is maddening!
Partner A: What?
Me: Do I need to start a website for animals that kids like that aren't as popular? Cause this is bullshit.
Partner P: *clears throat* soooo rarepairs?
Me: 😐
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laughinglynx · 2 years ago
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#wow look! a wild tag rant appears!#a bunch of Stuff has happened this last week and my brain has flipped the Lonely With A Capital L switch on#and I feel awkward foisting that on any of my friends so. tag rant it is!#I've spent most of my life (as in since kindergarten) approaching social situations as#'everyone else here will make friends and connections and I wont and I need to be okay with that'#every group situation. new classes. summer camps. afterschool activities. D&D groups. different jobs I've had#not in a pessimistic way just. realistic. it always happens.#and I get it! I am KEENLY aware of all the reasons someone wouldn't want to be friends with me#hell even I wouldn't want to be friends with me#I'm not going to list all of those reasons because#I am *constantly* terrified that my friends are going to figure those reasons out#I have four friends I regularly talk to (and a fifth who... idk that's a whole Thing). Four Really Good Friends#and most of the time I can push my anxiety into the background and just have fun with that#right now... not so much.#logically I know they probably aren't secretly exhausted by me#but I just can't make my brain realize that#and it's not even like they could do anything to help really#which is why I'm tag ranting instead of Talking to them because I just.#I'm just sad and anxious right now and my brain immediately dives straight into Lonely#and I don't want to dump that all on their virtual doorsteps#on the other hand isolating Does Not Help with the Loneliness but idk what to do#I'm bad at reaching out about this kind of thing and right now my anxiety is telling me that if I do#they'll clue in to how annoying I can be and stop talking to me
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eyeballs-in-my-head · 11 days ago
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Wow. Seeing fully uncensored untagged real life gore on my dash was not on my 2025 bingo list. But uhm.
Uhhhm...
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dylawas-reblogs · 10 months ago
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Genuine question @ me: why can't you get it together (rant in tags)
#I almost canceled this post because I saw a cat while sitting in my car waiting to go into my internship#And for a moment everything was okay#anyway actual rant#I got a week off last week for reasons I don't entirely understand (It was the entire department)#And it really kind of reminded me how much I just. Don't like work. period#but i need to get out of this fucking house#And I can't do that without an income#nevermind without health insurance. cant even dream of that#Happy birthday to me by the way#turned 26 five days ago#anyway#i think at this point my problem lies on me just as much as it does society#cuz i had all of last week off and DIDN'T use it to job hunt or do portfolio stuff#and i so immensely regret that#but at the same time when i did look for fucking jobs id qualify for that aren't customer facing#there was basically shit from fuck#i need to see if i can just be somebody's youtube editor#or SOMETHING#because even in the office I'm starting to not enjoy being around other people every day#my coworkers are NOT bad people#but they ARE mormon#and i got a ''nudge'' last week to#idk how to explain what they asked of me#they asked me to get more ''hands on'' with the company social medias?#first of all we are a nonprofit that works with kids. my options are EXTREMELY limited#second no one interacts with our posts even when we ask#i got a couple pointers but its not necessarily stuff thats gonna magically boost our engagements#wow i ''ran out of tags'' okay tumblr#dylawa rants#dylawa rambles
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the-nameless-ramekin · 2 years ago
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🤧🤧🤧 THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME 
genuinely at a loss for words and pumping my brain for actually coherent English things to say JAHSJKHKH so there's just brain dumping in the tags 👇
Tumblr can't deal with all of my tags RIP so here's more things I included that got thanos snapped:
this has had more cultural impact than the renaissance. not even my partner on our wedding day could move me to this degree.
not me not realising your two accounts were the same person LMAO 🤡
genuinely am so overwhelmed by the sheer prowess, beauty, intricacy of this masterpiece. bias aside (being my story and also my existing love for your art) it's just objectively the most visually stunning thing I've ever seen
I will blast my current story with copious amounts of leorook in honour of you
how tf did it take me an hour to type everything out + wrangle Tumblr
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i drew a thing for this beautiful fanfic by @the-nameless-ramekin >:3c i 100% recommend this fic for people who enjoy crying (and beautiful writing in general!!) anyway hey rame...it's ao3 user bachstreetsolo o(-( i love your writing (i cried!!)
keep reading for rambles and alt images 🌟
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fun little detail (kind of) - i gave each character clothes in a hue close to their partner's hair colour...vil's was a bit hard to work in but she has a bit of white in her hat. also sorry for having the opposite of same face syndrome
honestly i think this might be the most detailed piece i've done? even my rook birthday art wasn't this intense omg. i aim to do more detailed pieces in the future 💥 i can't keep doing flat backgrounds forever...i'll keep improving 🔥 and seriously read the fic it's crazy good
#THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL DETAILED AND THOUGHTFUL I DON'T DESERVE THIS#firstly your art is absolutely astounding holy shit#good god#the composition? use of perspective? colour?? lighting?? sense of space??#IF I WASN'T LYING DOWN UPON MY FIRST VIEWING OF THIS MASTERPIECE I WOULD'VE KEELED ONTO THE FLOOR BTW#I AM OBSESSED WITH ALL THE FINER DETAILS like their clothes being their partners' hair colour YOUR BRAIN#also ace's camera and the little heart ❤️#VIL'S INCOGNITO OUTFIT (although partially obscured)!!!!#AND ALSO?? THE FOREST IN THE BACKGROUND AND THE LIBRARY SHATTERING#IDK IF THIS WAS LIKE SPECIFICALLY PLANNED BUT HOW IN THE BACK MURAL THE 6 ANGELS ARE CLOSED OFF AND EXCLUDING THE 4 THAT FELL#WAIT ALSO. ROOK TURNING BACK BC HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT RECOGNISES LEONA#did I mention how beautiful and immaculate your art is. yes I have but I'm gonna do it again#UGH THIS IS FLAWLESS AND IT'S REARRANGING MY BRAIN#also leorook holds head in hands oh my lord#I'M LOSING MY MIND THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS AND I AM BEYOND GRATEFUL FOR THE TIME AND EFFORT YOU HAVE PUT INTO THIS#I'll give you my firstborn#my credit card info even#okay now it's time for obligatory feelings rant#frankly it is surreal seeing something related to one's story without being the person creating it it's like an out of body experience /pos#wow I have a degree in incoherency ANYWAY#this had me reminiscing#crying#I'll never forget this as long as I live. also I want it on my gravestone.#OKAY SUMMARY TIME#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PUTTING SO MUCH TIME LOVE AND EFFORT INTO THIS. IT IS INCOMPREHENSIBLY AMAZING.#to think that somebody appreciates your work enough to put in so many incredible intricate references and details#and devote their time and energy into producing something so gorgeous HAS ME ON THE FLOOR. CRYING.#(warning it’s Publicly Getting Vulnerable Hours™) but anyway I don’t usually think very highly of my writing#(especially tfac in particular because it took so long and I was pretty much a different person writing chapter 1 vs chapter 20)#so this destroyed me emotionally
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chchchchilisauce · 1 year ago
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fucking HATE when someone has a good take but just like has to go and bring up something i'm well versed in and be incorrect about it. like. i'm not gonna be a dick and correct you esp if it's fairly inconsequential to ur argument, but like fuuuckkksaaauauagh can u just not bring up this thing if u don't know about it
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hanniebaeee · 9 days ago
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Clueless: Just friends?
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Lee Know x fem!reader
Warnings: language, suggestive content MDNI
Genre: friends with benefits to lovers, fluff
Summary: You and Minho used to be friends with benefits. Until you caught feelings, and you both called it off. But Minho obviously misses you and is miserable even though he doesn't want to admit it. And his brothers have had enough of his moping.
Clueless Masterlist
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The arrangement with Minho had been perfect - or at least it had started that way. Opposite apartments on the same floor of your nice apartment building. You’d text each other, and within minutes, someone was at the other’s door. No strings, no drama. Just a lot of heat that left you breathless and a little sore the next day.
Until, of course, you did the one thing you promised yourself you wouldn’t do - you caught feelings.
And naturally, Minho, emotionally stunted and a menace to society, panicked. He started pulling away, making excuses every time you asked if he wanted to come over. The warmth in his teasing dimmed into something guarded.
And it hurt. A lot. His rejection wasn't something you had expected, because no matter what anyone said, he was so soft and sweet to you. But he obviously didn't want a relationship, and you both decided to stop seeing each other.
You missed him. Not just his touch, but everything else too. The way he always brought food over (making excuses about how he had extra), held you tight when you had a hard day and how his cats lived with you more than they did with him. Oh you missed the cats. They were literally your kids - and this dirty divorce had given him full custody of them.
And Minho? He was a mess. Not that he’d admit it.
And Jisung had had about enough of his best friend and his brooding.
---
Jisung: OKAY EVERYONE STOP.
Chan: What's up?
Hyunjin: What did you do?
Jisung: NOTHING. THIS IS ABOUT MINHO.
Seungmin: What did he do?
Jisung: He’s been moping for WEEKS. And I'm sick of it.
Changbin: You sure? That’s just his face.
Jisung: LISTEN. IT’S ABOUT Y/N.
Hyunjin: Ohhhhhh.
Felix: I KNEW IT.
Minho: What the hell is going on?
Jisung: OH LOOK WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP. Jisung: YOU, SIR, ARE A DRAMA QUEEN.
---
Minho sighed. This was the last thing he needed right now.
---
Minho: I’m not moping.
Felix: Sure. And I’m not Australian.
Hyunjin: Yeah, totally not glaring at your phone at all.
Minho: It’s not about her.
Jeongin: Are you sure you didn't accidentally click her name in your contacts 12 times yesterday?
Chan: What's going on, Min?
Minho: I don't even know what you guys are going on about!
Minho: We were friends. With benefits. Not lovers. She was nice in bed. That’s it.
---
There was complete silence in the chat for a minute before it exploded.
---
Chan: No, Minho. No. No. No.
Seungmin: Okay, first of all, what the actual fuck?
Hyunjin: Bro, you did not just say that.
Jisung: YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING LOSER.
Changbin: 😡
Jeongin: Hyung, she's an angel, how could you?
Felix: We’re literally trying to save you from yourself.
Minho: Well don't.
---
Minho hated himself. He absolutely hated himself. But he couldn't dwell on the self hate because Jisung just sent a video of Minho pacing his living room like a caged animal, while ranting about you being gone.
---
Hyunjin: Wow. Ok.
Minho: 🙄
Minho: Stop. Just stop.
Chan: Look, you’re obviously miserable. Why not just talk to her?
Seungmin: Yeah, genius. It’s not like she doesn’t live 20 feet away.
Minho: What if she doesn’t feel the same?
Jeongin: I'm sorry, but you’re an idiot.
Hyunjin: Dude. She liked you enough to start this whole thing. You just have to get over your dumb commitment issues.
Changbin: Honestly, just confess. Worst-case scenario, you cry into Dori.
Minho: I hate you all.
Jisung: Hate is a strong word for someone who’s about to sob into his cat.
Minho: Fine. I’ll talk to her.
---
Minho sat on his couch, heart pounding as he stared at your number on his phone. He’d been backed into a corner by his idiot friends, and now there was no escape.
And knowing you, he had a feeling that this was going to be the single most difficult task ever.
With a frustrated groan, he stood and grabbed his hoodie. He was going to do this. Because he loved you so much, and he was miserable without you.
Across the hall, in your apartment, you were getting some work done, sipping on coffee. You heard the doorbell, and when you opened the door, you saw Minho - disheveled, nervous, and yet, as handsome as ever. And your traitorous heart did that stupid thing it always did around him.
“Hey,” he said softly, eyes meeting yours. “Can we talk?”
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Minho hadn’t been this nervous in a long time. He stood at your doorstep, heart racing, and palms sweaty, his usual confidence nowhere to be seen.
And he confessed. Nothing dramatics. Just a straightforward, “I love you.”
You'd stared at him as if trying to figure out if he was high. Or had hit his head somewhere. Or if he was simply horny.
But no. Then came his little speech. I know I don't deserve you. I was an asshole (of course he was). I was afraid (as if you weren't). And more than anything - I hurt you. And I hate myself for it. Ok now that you could work with.
But as hard as you tried, sometimes you just couldn't contain that bratty side of you (one that he apparently loved).
You crossed your arms, glaring at him like he’d just run over your dog.
“You can’t just waltz over here, say ‘I love you,’ and expect me to fall into your arms,” you snapped, looking infuriatingly hot with your brows furrowed and your lips pursed in defiance. “You rejected me, Minho. Do you know much that hurt me?”
His stomach twisted.
“I… I wasn’t ready -” he stuttered, looking terrified.
“Yeah, well, now I’m not ready,” you said, taking a step back and slamming the door in his face for dramatic effect.
You leaned against the door, fuming and freaking out all together. Your hands shook so hard as you wrapped your head around the fact that Minho just confessed to you and you slammed the door on his face.
And Minho stood in the hallway, a mix of shock, frustration, and - God help him - arousal bubbling under the surface. You were bratty when you were mad, of course. It made him want to kiss you and throttle you all at once.
---
Minho: She hates me.
Hyunjin: No, she doesn't. She slammed the door on your face didn't she?
Minho: How the hell are you so accurately right?
Jeongin: It's his thing.
Felix: What happened?
Jisung: Wait. Did you confess?
Minho: YES.
Minho: AND SHE SLAMMED THE DOOR IN MY FACE.
Hyunjin: Obviously.
Chan: So she didn’t say no?
Jisung: LMFAO.
Jeongin: She’s mad at you? Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
Minho: SHE SAID A SIMPLE “I LOVE YOU” WOULDN’T WORK ON HER. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!
Seungmin: It means she’s not an idiot.
Changbin: Exactly. You rejected her and took months to realize you’re in love. She deserves a little groveling.
Minho: GROVELING?
Felix: Oh, for sure.
---
He was not groveling. No way. Lee Minho didn't grovel. Hell no.
---
Jisung: Yeah, buddy. You gotta pull out all the stops now. Dinner, flowers, interpretive dance. The works.
Minho: STOP.
Hyunjin: Actually, the dance idea is kinda sexy. Imagine Minho doing a hip roll to apologize.
Felix: STOP IT. I’M WHEEZING.
Minho: CAN YOU ALL BE SERIOUS FOR TWO SECONDS?!
Chan: Look, the point is, you hurt her feelings. You need to show her that you’re serious.
Minho: How?! She's a damn brat. She enjoys torturing me.
Jisung: If she’s a brat, she’s gonna want to see you sweat.
Minho: She frustrates me.
Jisung: So you're sure you're just frustrated and not turned on right now?
---
Damn Jisung.
---
Jeongin: YAHHHH
Felix: You’re INTO IT???
Changbin: My man’s in love AND down bad.
Minho: Please.
Felix: Okay, focus. If groveling isn’t your style, do something you.
Hyunjin: Yeah. Seduce her with your weird cat boy energy or whatever.
Minho: You’re all useless.
Seungmin: Says the man who just admitted to being horny and clueless.
Chan: Minho, she clearly wants you to prove yourself. You’ve got to show her you’re willing to put in effort.
Hyunjin: Write her a song. Serenade her. Cry through it.
Minho: I don’t cry.
Jisung: LIES. I’ve seen you cry at those pet videos.
Minho: JISUNG YOU'RE DEAD.
Minho: What if she never forgives me?
Jeongin: She will. She’s just mad. Just play along.
Hyunjin: He’s right. Drama makes us hotter.
Minho: You're all insane 🙄
Chan: Insane but not wrong. Now, go apologize properly.
---
Minho paced his living room, his mind racing through ideas - romantic dinner? A heartfelt speech? Maybe just tossing himself at your feet and begging?
He needed a plan.
---
Minho: Fine. Give me ideas to make her forgive me.
Jisung: OHOHOHOHOHO.
Felix: Oh, this is gonna be good.
Hyunjin: Okay, everyone, let’s brainstorm.
Changbin: Classic dinner and flowers. Can’t go wrong.
Jisung: No, no. She’s mad. You need to go BIG. Like, dramatic big.
Minho: Like what? Fall to my knees in the rain?
Hyunjin: YES. Bonus points if you sob.
Minho: I’m not doing that.
Seungmin: You’re all useless. Look, Minho, she’s mad because you hurt her. You need to make her feel special. Do something that shows you actually care.
Jisung: STRIPTEASE.
Chan: Jisung.
Felix: WAIT. THAT’S ACTUALLY KIND OF FUNNY.
Hyunjin: Picture this. You show up at her door, music playing, and just start taking things off.
Minho: I want to win her back. Not make her think I'm horny.
Jisung: Coward.
---
Obviously he knew this would happen. He knew it.
---
Chan: Okay, let’s regroup. Minho, what does she like?
Minho: Being mad at me, apparently.
Jeongin: Sounds like she has taste.
Minho: She likes reading. And baking. And…dancing.
Felix: Aha! Bake her something!
Hyunjin: And while it’s baking, do a little dance. Shirtless.
Jisung: OOOH. Combine the ideas. Show up with baked goods and then do the striptease.
Minho: Oh my God.
Seungmin: You could apologize like a normal person, you know.
Felix: Where’s the fun in that?
Jisung: No, no. We need something iconic.
Felix: Okay, serious suggestion: Show her that you actually listened to her. Her favorite food? Or something thoughtful that shows you care about what she likes.
Minho: Like…?
Hyunjin: Cook her favorite meal.
Chan: Or bring her flowers that mean something.
Jisung: Or do the striptease.
Minho: STOP WITH THE STRIPTEASE.
Felix: It’s not a bad idea, you know. Women love confidence.
Minho: I’ll do the cooking idea. But if this backfires, I'm gonna hunt each one of you down and then see what happens.
Jisung: Lies. You’ll be back to cry about it.
---
Minho got to work. He spent hours perfecting your favorite meal, rehearsing his apology in front the mirror, and trying not to think about how much he wanted to kiss you. God, he just wanted to cuddle you and tell you how much his life sucked without you in it.
When he finally knocked on your door, you opened it to find him standing there, holding so many containers of food and looking uncharacteristically nervous.
“Hi,” he said, voice soft. “Can I come in?”
You crossed your arms, and sighed.
"Minho, I really don't have the time-"
"I made your favorite," he said, holding up the containers. "And I will grovel if that's what it takes."
You did love it when he cooked for you.
“This better be good.”
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Minho stood in your living room, wringing his hands as you sat on the couch, glaring at him. He set the food on the coffee table and looked at you, his sharp tongue failing him for once.
“I was afraid,” he finally said, voice low.
“Afraid of what? Being happy?” You asked, arching an eyebrow.
Minho winced.
“Yes. No. I mean…God, I don’t know. You’re everything to me, okay? And I was scared I’d ruin it. And then I did ruin it, and now I’m standing here like an idiot, begging you to let me fix it.”
“You… you really mean that?” You asked, your voice softer now, your eyes obviously filling up with tears.
“I’ve been a mess without you. I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it, but I do. I love you, and I’ll spend as long as it takes proving it to you.” he whispered, and you sighed, standing up and stepping closer to him.
“You’re such a dumbass, you know that?”
“Yeah, I've been told.”
And then he cupped your cheeks with his hands and kissed you. Rough and messy, the tension melting away as your arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer.
“You better not mess this up.” you muttered against his lips.
“Not a chance.”
---
Minho: We’re trying the relationship thing.
Felix: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!
Hyunjin: FINALLY.
Jisung: Thank you 🙏
Changbin: Congrats, lover boy.
Chan: Proud of you, Minho.
Felix: Did she like the food?
Minho: Um, it kinda went cold. She’s heating it up now.
Hyunjin: LMAO.
Jisung: What about the striptease? Did you do it?
Minho: 🙄🙄🙄
Jisung: ANSWER THE QUESTION, COWARD.
Minho: We did strip. So… hehe.
Felix: SIR.
Hyunjin: NOT THE “HEHE.”
Jisung: I CAN’T BREATHE.
Changbin: YOU DOG.
Chan: Minho, for the love of God.
Minho: You asked.
Jisung: My dude really said, “She forgave me, and then we got NAKED.” ICONIC.
Jeongin: Please. I just came here to see if Minho hyung was still single, and now I want to bleach my brain.
Chan: Can we not, for once, be so feral?
Hyunjin: You’re in the wrong chat for that, Christopher.
Jisung: Anyway, so… did you, like, destroy the house or… ?
Minho: I will never speak to any of you again.
Jisung: YOU CAN’T JUST DROP “WE STRIPPED” AND THEN LEAVE.
Felix: It’s called a cliffhanger, Ji. Let the man be mysterious.
Hyunjin: Yeah, mysterious about how whipped he is.
Felix: Totally
Divider: @saradika-graphics
Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @eastjonowhere @pixie-felix @sailor--sun @chancloud8 @captainchrisstan @hansmic @emilyywhyy @hanadulsetaad
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fairlyang · 2 months ago
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Santa tell me ⚔️
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w/c: 1.3K
pairing: wade wilson x f!reader
tags: 18+ smut. wade in a santa suit, barely roleplay, wade is a freaky frog, dry humping , grinding against him, yapping your ear off, dirty talk, praise
taglist: @reader-1290
smutmas masterlist | main masterlist
wade was never one to reject roleplaying in bed, it was one of his favorite things to do. so of fucking course, once the holidays rolled in he knew he had to put on the big fat man's red suit. 
there he was in all his glory with a santa suit and his deadpool suit just because he felt like it made sense to have both on. 
you were sat on his lap, in a tight red dress matching his santa suit because he couldn't be the only one dressed up. "so what do you want for christmas, gorgeous, beautiful girl i have never seen before?" 
you bit your lip, looking at him and trying not to laugh, "honestly a handful of things santa.."
"wow now we're getting greedy on good ole saint nick huh? alright, c'mon lay 'em on me, princess." he responds, his gloved hand snaking your waist and slowly going down to your ass.
"a new car would be nice… just so i don't have to hear my odyssey die on me every other day." you say while giving him a somewhat serious look only for him to break and scoff, "well who warned you about that piece of shit dumb excuse of a vehicle..."
"santa, i'm not sure i know what you're on about…" you joke, making him clear his throat. 
“what i meant to say was… what else?” he says through gritted teeth. 
“maybe one of those stuffed animals you can microwave, just for fun…” you respond with a smile making him chuckle. 
“kind of sadistic but okay.. santa doesn’t judge.” he mumbles and you cover your mouth to stifle a laugh back. 
“oh and one more thing…. i’d like for my boyfriend to stay home more often. it’s getting tiring to only be able to see him once a week at best and when he does come home, he’s always carrying a limb and staining our floors.” you say then slowly start going on a rant.
you took a deep breath for dramatic effect, then finally speak up after a few seconds, “so, santa tell me, can you give me these things?” 
he was quiet, too quiet for your liking until he nodded and took off the fake beard, throwing it behind him. you reached over for his own mask wanting him to take that one off as well. he grabbed his santa hat, handing it to you then taking his mask off. you put the santa hat back on his head and you get off his lap, only to climb back on, straddling him, "can definitely do a few of those for you princess."
"yeah? about fucking time baby." you murmur and bring your hands to his shoulders to help you. 
you make sure you're directly on his hard on, only barely swaying your hips back and forth, watching him let out a sigh as you feel his hands on your hips. "fuck.. just like that cupcake." 
you press yourself harder against him, now grinding on him properly as he lays back into the couch, “promise i’ll try to be here more, just tryna get all the money you deserve to live lavishly, sweet pea.” he coos making you shiver and bite your lip. 
his hands gripped your hips, guiding you while you brought one hand down to lift your dress over your ass. his hands immediately dropped down to grope you, not paying any attention to the santa themed thong you were wearing, “you should always be on santa’s lap with that ass, oh my fucking god.” 
you shake your head and laugh making him grin up at you, “think you can do that for me?” 
you nod and he lifts a hand up to smack your ass, “good girl, now don’t stop baby.” 
his pants were soft and since you were already soaking through your panties it was easier to grind against him. unfortunately for him, he had two layers of pants so he wouldn't be able to feel it like he usually does. but he was too busy moaning to notice and yet again, yapping his heart out while you moved faster, "fuck this is even better than that one time i was groping you in the victoria's secret changing room, god those fucking bras will always do it for me. no fucking wonder you love those and goddd the thongs- this one's real festive baby, glad i'm not the only one playing along."  
"baby that was two days ago.." you mutter and he shrugs, "still. i loved that day and you know how much i love playing with you in public." 
"oh i know." you chuckle and lean closer to his face, your movements not at all stopping.
"remember when we fucked on the balcony of the hotel we stayed at?" he asked and you hummed, "which one?"
he groans and you feel him twitch beneath you making you clench, prompting you both to moan, "fuck!"
"w-which one baby?" you ask and he gulps, all of a sudden losing his train of thought as his hands went back to your hips. 
the small fabric of the thong was drenched and it was getting harder to grind just because it was so slippery. you stopped for a singular second, quickly bringing a hand down to move it to the side then place yourself right on his leaking cock. you went back to the same pace and his moans filled your ears, "i didn't hear you respond, cupcake." you murmur inches away from his lips and he just twitches yet again. 
"mexico, definitely mexico. or paris." he quickly responds and you nod, "both were good, great views." 
"especially from my end." he mutters, making you whine. 
"yeah you remember me fucking you from behind princess? making sure we looked at the view to get our money's worth." he coos and you nod, feeling the sensation of your orgasm building up. 
"like thinking back to it baby? lord knows i do when I'm out working and jerking my cock at night thinking of you. im fucking always thinking of you." he rambles, hands roaming up and down your back while you lean you head against his.
"fuck baby- you really know what gets my gears going huh?" you joke and he eagerly nods. 
you felt his cock twitching and his breathing was becoming heavier meanwhile your legs were almost giving up on you but you had to fight the pain in your thighs. you kiss his nose then move to the right until you got to his ear, "think we need to do that again soon." you whisper and he groans.
“oh my god stop- you’re gonna make me come and this is a rental!!” he whines, making you smirk.
"you sure? i'm so close and you are too….." you tease, pulling back and slowing down just for the sake of seeing his reaction.
“fucking shit baby- never mind. keep going cowgirl, don't fucking stop.” he moaned and you did. 
you reached up and stole his santa hat before putting it on and then finally leaning in to kiss him. he kissed back immediately, greedy and sliding his tongue inside your mouth while you both quickly came at the same time, holding each other for comfort. you stopped and felt your legs shaking crazier than usual, while you were whining and whimpering into his mouth because the pleasure was just too good. 
he held you tightly, his hands running up and down your back to help soothe you while you buried your face to his chest and hands rubbing his chest and shoulders. you were both trying to catch your breath when his hand stayed on your head, gently stroking it then began to whisper, "promise i'll be here more often."
"with all your limbs intact?" you whispered back making him chuckle and nod, "yeah we'll have to see about that one sweet pea…" 
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kyeomkuppie · 8 months ago
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Gorgeous.
Pairing: Seungkwan x gn!reader
Genre: fluff
Synopsis: You got caught admiring your boyfriend.
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"Earth to [name]? Hellooooo, are you there?" He pretended to knock on your head.
Seungkwan had been ranting about how rough his day was for the past 30 minutes, and yes, you did hear half of it but at some point you began to lose focus. The way his lips were moving and how his eyes were wide with frustration— oh wow.
You'd always known your boyfriend was gorgeous, but the realization had suddenly dawned on you, that hey, he was so damn handsome and you didn't look at him nearly enough.
His nose, his eyes, his lips, his voice— you suddenly felt your forehead being flicked "Ow!" You glared at the man next to you.
"Don't look at me like that! You weren't listening." he huffed, glaring at you back.
"But I was!"
"Okay, then what was I saying?"
"Stop acting like a child, I said I was listening!" He flicked your forehead again.
"Ow! Will you stop it?" You furrowed your eyebrows "So you weren't listening." He snapped back.
"I mean what's more important than listening to your lovely boyfriend?!"
"Admiring him." There's only one way to shut Seungkwan up— bingo, to fluster him. And it's not like what you just said was false you really were admiring him. It was obvious. Embarrassingly obvious.
Uh-oh, we're losing him.
His face was getting redder by the second. He might as well be as red as the strawberries on the table.
"Excuse me?!" He looked at you like you just offended his whole bloodline. He tried to act cool and brushed his hair back. "I know I'm handsome and all, but at least try to be a bit subtle." He scoffed.
He was now acting all tough and unbothered by what you just said, but you knew better. You'd pushed a button, the shy Seungkwan button, so you smiled wickedly to yourself.
"You said it yourself baby. My lovely boyfriend. How could I not admire someone so lovely?" You kept exaggerating the word "lovely".
"I mean your handsome, cute, you have a nice voice, nice hair, nice eyes, a cute nose—"
"Stop. You're over-exaggerating." He desperately tried to hide his face away from you, but you grabbed it with both your hands.
You gave him a peck on the lips, which made matters worse. He could've sworn that words were supposed to come out but they couldn't.
"You're the most handsome man I've ever laid my eyes on. How could I not lose focus? You're just too damn gorgeous."
Yeah, you have to call an ambulance. His cheeks were getting hotter by the second. You didn't know how that was exactly possible either, but then again, days with Seungkwan were never really normal.
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soobnny · 2 years ago
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ten things han jisung says when he thinks you’re asleep — fluff, established relationship, little angst
chan | lee know | changbin | hyunjin | HAN | felix | seungmin | jeongin
that marks the end of this series!
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one. there's this song that's been stuck in my head for days now. it's called love me harder by the woodz. i think you'll really like it too. i think i can't stop listening to it because it reminds me of you. there's a line that goes, 'everyday in my head, i think you're the one', and i always find myself thinking about you. i really think you're the one for me, pretty girl. i'll find a time to tell you this when you're awake. i'm just nervous i'll scare you away if you found out just how much i love you.
two. i still think about the first time you ever kissed me. i don't think i'll ever forget about it. ah, you have me wrapped up around your finger, darling.
three. lee know makes fun of me because i've been watching a lot of romance anime lately. he's just jealous because i have someone as lovely as you to think about when we watch them together.
four. thank you for being exactly the way that you are and for giving me a love i've needed my whole life.
five. i don't think my jokes are very funny. i said the same joke i told you last night to the boys today, but they didn't laugh as hard as you did. seungmin even made fun of me. thank you for laughing at all my jokes. even when they aren't funny. seeing you smile is enough of an accomplishment for me.
six. ah, i can't believe i'm with the girl i've been in love with for forever in college. someone pinch me, actually let me pinch myse—ouch. okay, this is real. this is real. oh my god, this is real, and i'm in love with you and you're in love with me. i love you. i'm completely, endlessly, madly in love with you. i can't believe you're actually here and sleeping next to me. i'm not dreaming this up, not in the way i did before. this is real. wow.
seven. you know, there were so many times i thought of giving up. but, you believing in me was enough reason why i didn't stop even when i lost hope sometimes. thank you for believing in me. you make me strong.
eight. it's getting bad again. i'm scared you'll eventually see me the way that i see myself, and you'll end up leaving.
nine. you're my person, did you know? in that show you keep talking about. what was it, grey's anatomy? i can be your meredith, or the other one. i don't really know how this works because i haven't seen a single episode. i just listen to you when you rant about it. but you're my person. my favorite person, in fact.
ten. you make me feel so human.
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house-of-lovin · 2 years ago
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protect her
Tara Carpenter x Detective!Reader
masterlist
Preview: "Tara wants to go to college, study, party, make mistakes, and maybe even find love – glancing back at you with that thought. She wanted to be a normal 20-year-old, doing 20-year-old things with her older… girlfriend? Tara didn’t know if she could call you that, but you shared enough sweet soft moments with her to consider you, hers. But she couldn’t do that if she had to look over her shoulder at every creak with a startle."
Warnings: suggestive themes, mentions of violence and mature language. slight scream vi spoilers. read at your own risk.
Note: Reader is around Sam's age, so like 25 or 26. Tara being a words of affirmation girlie. Thought this dynamic would be fun to write about. I'm incapable of writing shorter oneshots ig, so enjoy 6k+ words of whatever this is lol.
Word Count: 6.1k+
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The honking of horns blowing through the cool night air was muffled when you pushed the glass door of the diner open. The chimes of the overhead bell rang alerting the room of your presence but barely anyone turned their heads – save for Sam Carpenter who smiled at you.
You shuddered away remnants of the chill air off your shoulders, stepping closer to the bartop; claiming your seat in the far corner pressed up against the wall. A mug is placed on the counter before you even finish hanging your jacket on the back of the chair.
You slide into the high-top seat as the brunette pours coffee into the mug with a carafe. “Still hot, wow, I must be special.” 
“Yeah okay, hotshot. You just happened to make it in time for a new pot.” She rolls her eyes, and you hide your smirk behind the mug; taking a sip – ignoring the fact that you usually come in at this time.
“You on the clock?” She asks, leaning on her elbows atop the counter. She glances back briefly, making sure her snitch of a coworker wasn’t around to scold her for not doing her job.
It was still too early for the influx of drunk regulars and one-timers to come by, so really the only kinds of people in here were the ones who were getting off work too late to make dinner at home.
“Just got off, 16 hours. But got a new lead on a case that went cold a couple of months ago so I guess I’m doing a double. Just reviewing some notes now.” You sigh heavily, gesturing to the files and folders sprawled out on the table. 
She chuckles, shaking her head. “You work too much. You need to take a break and focus on something else outside of work. When was the last time you did something just for you?”
You roll your eyes at her mocking tone, shooting back, “Oh yeah? You learn that from therapy?”
It was her turn to glower when you remind her of the doctor visits. 
“Yeah, that’s usually the advice therapists love to give me before I actually open up – you know like they tell me to and suddenly they’re running for the hills, one by one.” 
You snort, all too familiar with the tales of her doctor visits. It took a while for Sam to open up to you; trust came sparsely these days for the Carpenter. It wasn’t until one of your frequent visits turned into you having to step in and kick a rowdy group of drunkards who were harassing Sam of something along the lines of ‘Woodsboro’ and ‘Ghostface’. It was only when you threatened the group with jail time did they relent.
Sam knew she could trust you after you sent her an acknowledging nod when the group left and went back to minding your own business. The next time you visited, she opened up; about her past, her father, her hallucinations, the attacks and the trauma that came afterward. And, how she managed to land herself in the big city, which sprouted an overzealous rant about her strained relationship with her sister.
You knew how to read people well, it was a significant part of your job to be able to. So, you knew from the moment you laid eyes on her that there was a fire behind those dark eyes that she desperately tried to douse – you had interrogated and dealt with enough people to know what the glint meant.
You were honest to Sam that you had an inkling of suspicion about the darkness in her mind – you still accepted her despite knowing her dirty secret; that a part of her doesn’t feel bad for killing Richie and Amber, if anything it felt kinda good. Sam was confused as to why you, a cop, weren't locking her behind bars at the confession. 
But, having dealt with the scum of the Earth, you can tell she was nothing like them.
It isn’t always easy to differentiate people between just good and bad, you told her when she asked.
A friendship blossomed between you two after that, bonding over similar traumas. Sam invited you to her apartment to meet her friends and sister – who all interrogated you, Mindy, most especially to make sure you weren’t secretly Ghostface. The girl had some skills in that department, you'll admit.
Coming to learn of your career and how surprisingly well Sam trusted you, the group lowered their walls bit by bit. They would never say it out loud but they felt way safer having you around.
“That’s why I don’t go to therapy.” You shrug, taking a sip of the steaming coffee; letting the heat warm your bones.
She snorts, pretending to be wiping the countertop when her coworker peeks her head out to look at you two. “You probably need it more than anyone else in this place.”
“You’re not wrong about that.” You mumble, as you flip through the evidence photos of a homicide you investigated five months ago. The pictures were gruesome, but it was just another day on the job for you. Maybe that’s why you and Sam got along more than expected.
Sam’s phone vibrates from her back pocket and she fishes it out, reading the text.
‘We got into some trouble, some help?’ it was Anika, no doubt being appointed to text Sam because the others didn't want to do it themselves.
“Dammit.” Sam sighs, already taking off her apron to leave.
“What’s up?” You raise a brow at her panicked expression.
“My sister and her friends got into some trouble. I need to get them. Crap! They’re all the way in the East Village.” She says reading the other incoming texts on her phone. “This is what I get for letting her go out.”
“Come on, I’ll drive you.” You say, already standing when Sam mentioned Tara. The thought of the brunette in trouble makes your heart stop for a moment.
“No, I can’t ask you to do that. You’re working.” She shakes her head in protest.
“Carpenter, it’s a 30-minute drive just to get to the East Village, get your ass permission to leave then meet me at my car. Acting like Danny wouldn’t have my ass if I just left you like this.” You mutter, acting indifferent – but it was true, her boyfriend would have your head on a stick if you ever left Sam high and dry, not that you would ever.
She nods, knowing she won’t win this one with you. You throw a $20 tip, slip on your jacket, and make your way back out into the cool fall air.
You lit a cigarette to pass time as you wait for Sam – leaning against your car, trying to ease the nervousness raging in you as you think of what kind of trouble Tara found herself in.
You and Tara are... complicated. You two haven't exactly slapped a label on it, all you know is you care about her more than you probably should.
Because of your close connection with Sam, and how much everyone secretly trusted you. You and Tara found yourselves growing closer to each other with each visit to their apartment.
Tara was weary about you at first introduction, ignoring that you were ridiculously attractive. She can still remember Mindy asking you to your face 'Where did Sam find you?' in a flirtatious tone. You just chuckled and explained how you met her sister, and Tara knew it was kind of wrong, but she couldn't help but be intrigued…
Then Sam started leaving you two alone in the apartment to run some errands. With not much to do, Tara decided to pop a horror movie in to watch with you – finding out you’ve never seen ‘Se7en’ after inquiring if your job was just like the movies.
A connection between you and Tara blossomed from those moments in that tiny NYC living room.
Suddenly she wasn't just your friend's little sister and man, is she magnetic.
She educates you on the joys of horror movies and you watch every single one, listening to her analysis of each scene; simply enjoying the serenity she brings out in you.
Tara is secretly glad you are older than her because sometimes it meant you’re so different, but that just means she can expose you to her interests, and vice versa. You never turned her down – no matter what it was.
On the slim chance you got off work early enough, you visited the diner to keep Sam company and do some work.
Sometimes though, when Sam would end mid-morning, you two would continue your talks at her apartment – sometimes with Danny, over whatever leftover diner food she would steal from her work for you three to munch on over beers and conversation. 
Those would be the nights where you would pass out on their couch from drinking and Tara would finally come out of her room when Sam and Danny leave. She would tuck a blanket over your sleeping figure, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, taking the time to scan your features for any injuries. And in the mornings, when you were gathering your bearings from a night of drinks and bad choices, Tara would force you to sit down at their dining table and have breakfast with her. Scolding you for your irresponsible choices, but being grateful you were in front of her, nonetheless.
She worries for you with your job and all.
And as you find yourself giving into her request for morning coffee, stolen kisses, and conversation – you push away thoughts of being late to work as you find yourself grateful for similar musings the longer you stare at the pretty girl across from you.
“Wow, if people couldn’t tell you're a narc. They sure could now.” Sam takes the time to poke fun at you – pulling you out of your daydream. You look down at your figure; sporting a button-down shirt, trousers with your leather jacket on top and trusty leather boots on your feet.
You roll your eyes in realization and flick away the cigarette bud, yanking the car door open.
“It’s the work dress cod– just get in the damn car, Carpenter.”
– – 
The usual thirty-minute drive instead took fifteen minutes as you pounded on the accelerator, flipped the sirens on, and dashed past other cars on the road as they cleared the way for you.
You arrive at the corner of a lower Manhattan intersection, the East Village was known for its bustling nightlife; you can see a mix of all ages of people wandering the street as they continue their bar crawl.
It was further down the road, where you can see six sullen-looking figures sitting on the curb of the sidewalk – a police officer standing above them. 
Sam dashes out of the car before you can even finish parking. You see her run down the street and talk to the officer, getting in his face and the six others look at her panicked. You sigh, and make your way out of the car, strapping your badge to your belt – you’d need to use it soon, you’re sure.
Tara’s eyes immediately connect to you as soon as you climb out of the car. Before she can think about it, she’s standing up to meet you. “Ah ah, I said sit down! You better listen or I’ll throw you all in jail for the night.”
“You can’t do that!” Sam shouts, stepping closer to the police officer. You decided enough was enough when you saw the police officer resting his hand on his holster.
“All right, that’s enough.” You grasp Sam’s elbow, yanking her away from the police officer. The older Carpenter is slightly startled by the rough tug, but you push her behind you getting in between her and the policeman.
“I think we’re all good here officer, thank you.” You say with finality. You weren’t asking, you were telling and Tara’s inebriated mind is all hot and bothered. 
“Like hell we are, these six were caught sneaking into a club underage, and this one.” He points to Sam, “is getting on my nerves. Now, it seems like I can add you to the list, ‘cause who the hell you think you are, buddy?”
You briefly glance a stern side-eye to Tara at ‘club and underage’, she immediately looks away.
“Detective Y/L/N from the 99th precinct.” You slide your jacket aside to flash him the badge on your waist.
”And, you must be… Officer Leroy. From 6th, huh.” Reading his name tag and badge.
“Think that’s supposed to mean something?” You see his eyes on your badge before glowering to meet your eyes. “I’ll arrest you too.”
The group breaks out into loud protests.
You chuckle knowingly, “How long you been in the force buddy?” You ask, not unaware of all of the eyes on you as you and the officer have a stare-off.
“Four months.” He answers confidently, pushing his shoulders up and back to appear taller.
“Hmm… see I had a feeling. ‘Cause, my buddy Rivers just got promoted to Captain six months ago over on the 6th precinct, which means he’s most likely your superior. I wonder what you’ll tell him as to what charge you picked us up for. ‘Cause well, he will see me.” You shrug, offering up that thought for him to think about. 
“Oh better yet, I’d just love to see what you write down on that case report, Officer. Leroy.” Your tone was harsh now as you stepped in his face, intimidating him.
He was forced to take a step back as you got in his space, his features paling, it took a few seconds before he conceded. “Fine! Just get the hell out of here, and don’t let me see you again!”
Everyone let out a relieved sigh as you smirked at his submission; everyone immediately takes the chance to leave and Sam tries to tug on your arm but you were still staring the cop down. He put this hand on his fucking gun when Sam got in his face and anger was quickly rising in your veins – you were unmovable, even by rough force.
“Y/N it’s over, let’s go.” Sam tries again but she can feel your arm harden as your knuckles tighten into a fist. “Y/N, seriously.”
Tara sobered up by the time police charges was being thrown around and her worry about your protectiveness was increasing. Sam couldn’t even pull you away. Chad steps in when Sam asks for help to convince you to move. He puts a hand on your shoulder, whispering calming words, no doubt. 
But nothing was working as you stood there, still unmovable. She wouldn’t be surprised if Chad threw you over his shoulder and dragged you away, even though you weren’t that much smaller than him. In your boots, you were nearly at his height and Tara had to strain her neck to try and meet your eyes. 
It was only when Tara pulled away from Quinn and Mindy’s hold and stepped in front of you, putting a hand just above your chest that you blinked, glancing down at her. “Y/N, let’s go… please.”
When you tried to glance back up at the other officer, whose partner had seen the commotion and tried his own efforts in calming him; his patience thinning by the second – was when Tara’s grasp on your shirt firmed, making you look back at her own stern eyes.
"Let's. Go." Her tone left no room for argument. Warning you from doing something stupid and you clench your jaw, looking away from the uniformed officers.
“Fine…"
Everyone slowly releases a breath when your rigid posture relaxes. “I’m driving you home, let’s go.” You exclaim to the rest but look directly at Tara, “Especially you, Carpenter.”
You place a hand on the sliver of her back and Tara shivers not used to being this close to you in a while. Your hand keeps its place even as you both turn and Sam is immediately on her ass about sneaking into a club. You guide the bickering sisters to walk to the car, zoning out the familiar sounds of their argument.
“–ou’re lucky Y/N was at the diner, who knows what that creep would’ve done if we didn’t drive out here in time.” Your hand tightens, subtly bringing her closer to your side at Sam’s words, Tara glances over when you do.
“It was fine until you got there and started overreacting, Sam.” Tara rolls her eyes, way past just ‘over’ Sam’s overprotectiveness. The younger girl loved her sister, she did, but she didn’t want to live her life constantly looking over her shoulder.
Tara wants to go to college, study, party, make mistakes, and maybe even find love – glancing back at you with that thought. She wanted to be a normal 20-year-old, doing 20-year-old things with her older… girlfriend? Tara didn’t know if she could call you that, but you shared enough sweet soft moments with her to consider you, hers. But she couldn’t do that if she had to look over her shoulder at every creak with a startle.
Sam scoffed offended, “Are you kidding me right now?” And you sigh because you can feel a bigger fight brewing and you can hear the slurring in Tara’s words, not a good mix. 
“Let’s get you all home first before we do this, okay?” You cut in when you see the car come closer into view. Fishing for your keys, you throw them at Sam making her catch them. 
“Walk ahead and start the car for me, please?” You ask with a raised brow; tilting your head to gesture to Tara saying a wordless ‘i got her’. Sam relents, tightly gripping the keys and walked ahead.
Tara leans her head against your shoulder, grateful for the brief moment of seclusion as everyone else walks up ahead.
“Are you mad at me?” You glance down at her frown, before looking away. 
“No. I’m not.”
“That wasn’t very convincing. If you’re mad you can tell me… cause then I can fix it.” You feel her run her hand up and down your back, under your jacket. It made a shiver run up your spine as she continued rubbing lines on the fabric of your shirt.
“I swear, I’m not mad. A little disappointed but no, not mad.”
Tara huffs, sliding her arm off your back when you reach the car; the talk cut short. You open the car door sitting Tara inside, it was a tight squeeze but she was small. You’d sit her on your lap if her sister wasn't here. Anika did sit on Mindy’s lap though with poor Chad in the middle seat and then Tara. 
She squeezes your hand just before you shut the door.
Apparently, Ethan and Quinn elected not to go home and continue on with their night.
Sam is already sitting in the passenger seat by the time you closed Tara’s door. With a sigh, you pull your door open, sit behind the wheel and drive off to the Carpenter’s apartment.
– –
Sam hurriedly rushes everyone into the living room as soon she opens the door; making sure to quadruple lock it, twist the handle to make sure it's locked and look out the peephole. It was Sam’s routine whenever she got into their place.
“Come on, let’s go, sit down.” Sam waves at you all, walking to the kitchen to grab water for everyone.
You help Tara onto the far edge of the couch, sitting her beside Mindy, who sat beside Anika. Chad decided to choose a record to listen to get rid of the tense air.
You felt Tara pulling you down with her, “Let me sit on your lap.” She mutters only to you.
“We can’t,” You whisper in her ear, slightly shaking your head. You hear her huff when you refuse her and see the pout on her lips when you pulled back, slightly smiling at her adorableness.
You force yourself to walk away from the younger Carpenter; heart tugging firmly, wanting nothing more than to wrap her in your arms, especially after not knowing what kind of trouble she was in.
Instead, you make your way into the kitchen to help Sam with the water bottles and bread.
“Is this necessary, Sam?” You ask the brunette, who was frantically searching through the fridge on her knees.
“You kidding? Chad is literally just staring holes at the record player.” She rebuttals and you glance back at the younger boy in amusement.
With a chuckle, you say, “He’s just high as shit. He’ll come down soon, plus he’s here now, they all are. Just relax and take a deep breath, man.” You remind her in a serious tone, holding out a hand to hold all the water bottles she was passing off to you.
“I know, I know. I was just worried.” She follows your advice taking calming, deep breaths as you follow along with her. 
“Your therapist would be so proud, Samantha.” You tease smugly as she scoffs, hitting your leg from her position on the floor – you kick her back.
“Can you make sure Tara drinks and eats something, and that she’s okay before going to bed?” Sam asks you in a hushed tone, although she didn’t need to. The other four were all too engrossed either in the music or the TV in the back. 
“Why me?”
“She’s not ready to talk to me and I’m not either... and I just wanna sleep right now.” She admits with a plead behind her eyes and you nod with no hesitation. 
“I'll make sure all of them make it to bed, don’t worry.” She nods appreciatively, then stands so you can both get back to the other four in the living room – tossing them some bread.
“Finish that whole bottle before going to sleep, I don’t care if you piss your pants while you do ‘em.” You say in a stern tone while throwing the bottles, then sitting on the armchair to Tara’s left.
Sam shares a look with you as she slips out of the room, wordlessly, leaving you with the other four. They watched TV for the next 20 minutes, glancing around as each of them got progressively tired the more time ticked on. 
“Alright. I think it’s time to call it a night.” You call it.
The twins and Anika slowly got up, muttering goodbyes and promises of texting Tara once they’d made it home. You offered to drive them to their dorm but felt the silent conversation between the friends – as Tara got them to turn you down to get you to stay here with her. 
You lean against the front door, watching as the trio made their way down the stairs until they were out of sight. As soon as you shut the door closed, you felt arms wrap around your midsection – making you turn around.
“I missed you,” Tara mutters against your chest making you chuckle when it slightly tickled. 
You cup her jaw, making her look into your eyes. “I missed you too, baby.”
Tara melts at the term of endearment, grabbing your neck to pull you down for a long searing kiss. Lips slotted over one another as they found the familiar grooves of each other’s mouths. Only breaking apart when Tara confessed with a bated breath, “You looked so hot confronting that other cop.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhmm…” She mutters connecting her mouth to your neck, peppering wet kisses there. She can hear you sigh in satisfaction and it makes her hold on you tighten even more. But with great reluctance, you pulled away from Tara; who whimpered in protest.
“We can’t, babe.” You remind her, pointing with your head to Sam’s room.
She frowns, “then come to my room.” Problem solved. She smirked devilishly, tugging you toward her room; you refused.
“We still can’t. You’re drunk and I’m not taking advantage.” You whisper, only stepping close to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She groans letting her head drop to your shoulder as your hand played with her hair.
“I hate that you’re a goodie two shoes.” She mutters making you laugh.
You tilt her head up with the hand already in her hair – gaze intense as you whisper, “I can assure you, I am far from a goodie two shoes.”
And Tara thought she melted at the way your voice dropped an octave when you said that but she knew she melted when you leaned down, tugging her by the hair, to connect your lips.
It was barely a peck, all tender and fleeting.
When you pulled away, she smirked knowingly watching as your eyes traced a path from her lips to her eyes – your gaze all dark, lustful. When your eyes connect you dive into her with a hair-raising kiss; all hungry and pining.
The feeling of your tongue clashing against hers and sounds of soft moans sends time stopping like only you and her exist in this apartment together. But Tara knows it doesn’t really stop and she has to eventually pull away before she takes you in the hallway – right then and there.
“God, you drive me crazy,” Tara whispers against your lips.
“So do you… cause sneaking into a club, really?” You ask unimpressed and Tara immediately pulls back, groaning.
Snickering as you follow closely behind when she walks into her room, trying to get away from you.
“You’re a mood-killer.” She mutters sitting on her bed, arms crossed over her chest; sulking.
“And you’re gonna give me and Sam a heart attack soon.” You joke but it was true. Tara loved to prove her sister wrong; not like being told what to do. It grew a defiant attitude in her that loved to stir shit up just for the hell of it, and that landed her in some hot waters with her friends sometimes. She definitely made your blood pressure sky-rocket, sometimes too.
“Why?” Tara probes. You were always so elusive and mysterious – it came with your job and allure. She can barely get you to open up about your feelings most of the time, saying you prefer to show her than tell her. You definitely did, so this admission from you was new. It has Tara yearning to hear more words of affirmation from you.
“Do I have to spell it out for you? I care about you, dummy. I nearly caused multiple accidents just to get to you. I was going like 80 mph the whole time,” You admitted, scratching the back of your neck a little ashamed.
“You were really that worried?” She asks, looking up at you with a hopeful stare like she was surprised.
“Of course, I was Tara. I even used the siren lights.” You shake your head at the fact that she’s even asking. 
She was smiling goofily as you walked closer to stand between her legs, taking both her hands in yours. “I worry for all of you. But you, well, I always worry for you 'cause I’m thinking about you all the time.” You confessed in a whisper in her dark room. 
Tara bites her lip, staring up at you with an indecipherable look. “You’re the worst.” Was the words that left her mouth.
“What, why?” You ask laughing.
She lets go of your hands to fiddle with your shirt buttons, muttering, “‘Cause you’re standing here looking all good and saying all the right things, and you still won’t fuck me.”
“Oookay…” You chuckle, grabbing at her fingers trying to unbutton your shirt, “That’s enough from you tonight. Let’s get you to bed before you say anything else you might regret tomorrow.”
She huffed but allowed you to grab her some new clothes to help her change; still not fucking her, Tara complains. Your eyes never even strayed from hers, not even when she took her bra off to change shirts and batted her eyes seductively. When she was all ready, you helped her to bed; tucking her in.
“Stay with me?” She asks grabbing onto your shirt, then gripping tighter. “Please.”
“What about Sam?” You ask softly, pushing away some hair from her face.
“She’s probably already sleeping, if not, she’s gonna be in her room all night.” Tara reasons, fully tugging you on top of her. 
You give in like you always do.
Work for you and classes for Tara have been a lot right now, not being able to find time alone. You were practically living at the police station with the crime surge in the city, working late nights and long hours. With Sam’s overprotectiveness, Tara can say goodbye to dates so she only really sees you when you come over with her sister. You take your jacket off, place it on the chair in the corner of her room and tug your boots off. Remembering you had a change of clothes here from when Tara ransacked your closet; you picked out a shirt and shorts before getting into bed beside the younger Carpenter.
She was on you in an instant, swinging a leg over your waist, shoving her face in your neck. You feel her exhale a calming breath, once she’d settled into a comfortable position on you. You reciprocate by wrapping a strong grip around her waist, cherishing the way her skin warmed yours and how the weight of her body felt perfect.
“Just stay with me until I fall asleep?” She asks you with such a vulnerable gaze that you would never dream of ever telling her no.
You nod, pressing a kiss to her lips, then forehead. “Of course, pretty girl. Goodnight.”
She smiles against your lips, whispering her own, “goodnight.”
As you hold Tara Carpenter in your arms, you find yourself fending off sleep, only ever being this relaxed around the girl. You squeeze her slightly, feeling grateful to be with her at this moment with all the craziness in your two’s lives. No worries of outside-world problems could break the cozy bubble you and Tara created. Without ever standing a chance, you lose the fight to sleep and easily fall off the precipice with her in your embrace.
– –
“Tara, do you have my nail polish – Oh this is cute.”
You spring up, the voice startling you from the most relaxed sleep you’ve ever had; the type that makes your entire body heavy and head foggy when you wake up. You were the lightest of sleepers, a pin drop could probably startle you awake, but never when you fell asleep beside Tara.
“What the fuck?” Tara grumbles against your side, peaking her head up to see Quinn watching you two in bed.
It took you a few seconds to realize where you were and instantly pale when you realize you never left the Carpenter Sister’s apartment, you never even made it out of Tara’s bed. You can feel the stream of sunlight coming in from Tara’s window and just know you had majorly fucked up.
“I just needed my nail polish but this is quite a sight, definitely a pleasant surprise.” She waves a hand toward you two, and you roll your eyes.
“Shit babe, Sam.” Tara places a hand on your arm. You check the watch strapped on your wrist for the time, 10:32 AM – making you leap out of her, oh so warm bed.
“Screw Sam, my Captain is gonna be on my ass until next year if I don’t get to work now. I was late about two hours ago.” Grumbling, you yanked Tara’s closet open and grabbed the spare trousers and button-down, you stowed in there.
"Can't say I blame your Captain." Quinn retorts, heavily eyeing you as you change your shorts into trousers.
Tara groans at the mess this morning has already been, flopping onto her back.
“Screw Sam, huh?” She appears, leaning on the threshold just behind Quinn, crossing her arms over her chest.
Your hands stall on the tie you were tying as you hear your friend’s voice, making you turn around.
“I guess that’s a no on the nail polish?” Tara glares at her roommate. 
Quinn shrugs, still ogling as you changed before turning to leave the room. “Not a wasted trip though, nice catch Tara.” She winks at the brunette – holding a thumbs up.
The redhead just laughs, moving out of the way when Tara attempts to throw a pillow at her.
“Sam… I’d love to explain but I am so late for work right now.” You plead at the older sister.
Tara sat on her bed wordlessly, unsure of what Sam’s reaction is going to be – but ready to defend her relationship with you, regardless.
Sam chuckles shrugging lightly, “I already knew. Or well, I had a feeling, but this just confirms it.”
You and Tara look at each other at her confession, unsure if Sam’s words hold positive or negative connotations. Sam sees the eye-contact and laughs.
“I’m not mad, I promise. I was a little hurt that you didn’t tell me…” She pauses, “okay. I was really hurt when you guys didn’t tell me. But I realize I haven’t given Tara reason to trust me with anything about her life lately.”
That makes Tara’s head perk up at her sister’s admission. All she’s ever wanted was for Sam to trust her a little because trust went both ways in every type of relationship.
“And well, I guess I can’t think of anyone better to be with my sister than my cop friend. Especially after you came through for her last night. You were driving so fast, I thought I was gonna die.” Sam laughs a little but you’re still unconvinced.
When Sam realizes no one was still talking she chuckles again. “Guys, I’m serious!”
You cough clearing your throat, “Sorry Sam, it’s just that... I–uh,” 
Tara decided to cut off your stammering, “We’re just surprised, Sam. We thought you'd be more upset. And that we were more subtle.” She admits, shooting you a look.
“You weren't. But, I thought a lot about what to say until I realized it was just you guys and I care about you two so much. You don’t think I noticed Tara being a lot happier than usual and you actually looking somewhat at peace?” She asks rhetorically, reading you and Tara to filth – your cheeks reddening, not being used to being at the other end of the ‘questioning’.
“I see how you look at each other. I know you’ll protect her.” That last sentence she says looking at you and it means the world to get her approval – something that you didn’t even know you wanted, you nod at her appreciatively.
Sam pushes herself off the doorframe, tapping on it. “Now come on, there’s breakfast in the kitchen, don't let it get cold. And Y/N, I don’t think you’re gonna make it to work today.” She winks, leaving you and Tara alone in the room.
You didn’t say anything for a few seconds, unable to find words to describe what just transpired in the span of a few minutes. Then you hear a scoff bring you out of your reverie.
“What the hell was that,” Tara commented, getting up from the bed and closing the door before approaching you. 
“I’m… not really sure. I can’t tell if I’m still asleep.” You mumble, grabbing at her cheeks to make sure you weren't in a dream. Tara whines against the pinching, swatting your hands away.
You laughed at her frown before leaning down to kiss her slightly chapped lips, all soft and slow. Tara pulls you closer by the neck, sighing against pressed mouths. A sweet moan escapes her mouth when you suck down hard on her lip, releasing it with a loud pop. 
“You think I should call in sick today?” You whisper, running a gentle thumb to soothe her swollen lip.
Tara nods, eyes half-open still a little dazed from your kiss. When she gathers her bearings, she runs a hand down your half-done tie, tugging you closer. “Definitely.”
"You can tell me more about how worried you were and how fast you were driving too," She whispers against your mouth, using your tie as a leash.
"Are you turned on right now?"
"Kinda... can I drive with the sirens on?" She slides the question in like it was nothing.
"No."
"Buzzkill." She teases but pulls you on top when her back hits the mattress. “I’ll make you change your mind.”
You definitely forgot to make that phone call.
The rest of that morning was spent in between Tara’s sheets, you two hidden away from the world; ignoring the flurry of texts and calls from your work phone. Only leaving her room to grab some food and water, but getting caught in the crossfire of teasings from Tara's friends when they see the hickeys on your neck.
Tara merely strides past you, dressed in nothing but your button-down, stopping for a peck on the lips and grabbing the water from your hands before hiding back in her room to ignore her friends. You don’t miss the cheeky wink she tosses you and the grimace Sam lets out as she watches. Instead, you keep your head down and follow the smaller girl like a lost puppy, ignoring the other's whistles as you do.
And, when you make your way to your desk the next day, a mountain pile of shitty cases for the next month is stacked high as punishment.
You still find it hard to feel any remorse for the no-show.
It was definitely worth it.
– –
:)
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iid-smile · 5 months ago
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can't get rid of me , fushiguro toji
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a strong legacy to be left behind , chapter one
the series masterlist. | previous | next
cw: profanity, mentions of pregnancy (pills) but filtered for megumi's sake, mentions of violence in prison, you're broke, smoking cigarettes
author's note: sigh... im out of my fluff era 😞 (sorry guys) kinda wanted to write something that i think would actually happen in some sort of alternate jjk universe and um idk how far to go because this kind of stuff does happen in the manga, but writing it feels illegal??? idk...
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"mom?" megumi peeks out from around the corner in the hallway. "who was calling?"
another groan escapes your lips, around the fifth one in the last three minutes, and you silence your phone once again. "your— excuse my language, shitty deadbeat dad keeps wanting to call me." you slap your hand across your forehead and lean back on the couch, a small creak coming from somewhere below. "apparently he's getting aggressive in prison. shut off the house phone, but they still found my number..."
your son comes closer to you, and you scoop him up, placing him by your side. he glances up at you, and you swear your fight or flight instincts nearly kicked in, (not that you'd be able to fight of a guy as big as toji anyways) flinching slightly from his sharp gaze. it sucks how he looks so much like his dad, because you loved megumi so much. but the image of that guy was almost too much to bear, and he's the spitting image.
"shitty?" he repeats. for a well-behaved kid, he really doesn't respect your words.
"don't say that megs, it's bad language." you swear around him all of the time, so what's the point in scolding him? "only your mama can say it."
"don't tell me what to do."
wow. okay. why do you feel threatened by a six year old? "damn, you've got his attitude too." you mutter, but you've only got yourself to blame for that. you knew you were never cut out to be a mother, so your ways of parenting weren't the best.
he snuggles closer to you, and you openly accept, moving your free hand to his hair to rub over it. "why can't i see toji?"
ah, this lovely story again. "because he left me as soon as you were born, love." really, you couldn't and didn't want to stop yourself from wrapping him up in your arms, feeling the need to protect him. "at this point, he's dead to me. seems like he doesn't feel the same though... i'm so sick of his ass." you also knew it wasn't good parenting to rant to your child about adult issues, but you've only got him to talk to.
that hug was out of comfort then. why are you lying to yourself?
he looks up at you with an irritatingly cute but blank face. "why?"
"god, i hate how many questions you ask." you speak under your breath once again, looking up at the ceiling from any sort of help from a higher being. the amount of times you've had to family-friendly-ify things that have happened isn't even funny. you're not naturally rated u for universal. it's more embarrassing when he recites those same stories to his teachers, and you get called into the school for a little talk.
yikes... here we go. "he lied when he said he gave me the right magical candy after we visited the stork. tried to make it drop you off back to where babies are made in heaven, but i wanted it to deliver you to me, whether he liked that or not." the story's got to be a little filtered somehow. you'd rather not get yourself in the principal's office again. "you're my little hero; a miracle to me. i would've given up on myself ages ago. your dad is a bad, bad man."
the type that would kill. if he found where you lived, or perhaps where megumi goes to school...
"and now i'm left broke in an apartment that barely functions, yet i still spoil my little hero." you sing-song, leaning your head back. "and with what money? i'm broke as hell, megs. can't even make both of us breakfast in the morning cuz your elementary school is too damn expensive."
"is this my fault?"
"...no. no, baby, of course not." you furrow your eyebrows more, a small pout in your lips. "if anything, you made my situation a bit more fortunate."
it's a selfish way of thinking, using your child to avoid solving your problems, using your child to wail and complain about how much you hate your life, but you've got nothing to lose. nothing to lose except for the one person you love.
you can feel your phone buzzing again.
"you stay here and watch tv, okay? mama's gonna go to the kitchen and talk to her friend." he seems a bit relieved as you let go of him, and you stand up.
you hear him mutter. "it's only playing the news though..." no shit it only plays the news, you can't afford to get a good television company that has any kids shows. that is, unless you wanna get scammed out of all of your money.
begrudgingly, you make your way to the kitchen, confirm that you closed the door completely, and answer the vibrating device. "hello?" you sigh, placing the device over your ear.
the other person on the call replies quickly. "is this miss—"
"yeah, yeah, it is. what the hell do you want?"
"um... we apologise, but we strongly suggest that you come to the prison building. he—" the guy's voice cracks. must be really nervous. "pardon me. he's been physically assaulting other inmates and guards, he doesn't follow orders, he never leaves his cell unless it's to visit the closed visits room. you know, in hopes that you'll come..."
obsessed much? where was this energy six years ago? "that's got nothing to do with me."
"please, ma'am. he won't listen to anyone, and we are unable to place him into special facilities as he doesn't emit any cursed energy." ah, he's begging? that's a first. you never would've thought you'd hear a person who works at a prison begging.
cursed energy, cursed energy, this talk again and again and again. "urgh..." you take a deep breath. your options are limited, and they won't stop calling until they can get that lunatic to calm down... surprise, surprise, you really don't want to go.
but if you were really uninterested in him, wouldn't you have already spent the bail money that's been sat on the counter for ages, neatly concealed in an envelope? wouldn't you have paid off all of your debts already? "will i— hm..." choose your words carefully, goddamn it. "can i get a reward of some sort if i go? money?"
"yes, yes! please do visit. there's nothing we can legally do to him in check anymore." ...you think this guy sounds a little too eager.
damn toji and his "supernatural powers", or else you wouldn't get yourself into this mess. finally, after your moment of silence, you respond. "okay. i'll visit."
"thank you—!" you cut off the line.
"fucking bastard..." you drop your phone on the counter, running your hands through your hair and over your face. "stressing me out for what? you don't even love me." your words turn into whispers. with haste, you rummage through your back pocket, trying to find those last few cigarettes, but as your hands were occupied, your eyes moved over to the ashtray that was collecting dust on top of the microwave. oh, right... you don't smoke anymore because there's no ventilation indoors.
you'd have to head out if you wanted to, but then megumi would be in the apartment on his own. and nobody can babysit, because you don't have anybody to ask to babysit. great, you can't smoke until monday. it's a friday afternoon. you have two whole days to get through!
you know for a fact your addiction won't hold out for that long.
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shallowseeker · 5 months ago
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I'm breaking this one out by itself because it's a little funny.
*Dean's phone rings*
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*Dean answers without looking*
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*Dean proceeds to yell at Cas*
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Ah, right. What could possible be so important?
/////
Sam goes on to tell Dean that *drumroll* Sam is Lucifer's true vessel.
WOW! Scary!
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DEAN: *sarcastically* Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh Sammy? SAM: That's it? That's your response?
It's... completely lost of Sam, though, the REASON for Dean's sarcasm.
See. It's this: now that Sam's found out that HE'S a vessel, he's in his car, an absolute FIRE lit under his goddamned tail, EAGER to get back in and fight.
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Sam.
SAMMY.
🤦🤦🤦🤦
Dean throws a hint.
DEAN: *sarcastically again* I guess I'm a little numb to the earth-shattering revelations at this point. SAM: Well what are we gonna do about it?
And Sam... still doesn't get it.
Sigh.
Here's the thing. Sam wasn't panicking when they learned that Dean was a vessel. Only Cas and Bobby were panicked and stressed. They were mean, but they were at least aware of the reality of things.
But Sam.
Yes, Sam was going through things, struggling with things, and taking time to go through things is okay. But on the other hand, it definitely still hurts that Sam wasn't insisting on staying in the fight on Dean's behalf, to protect Dean from becoming a vessel.
But now that Sam's learned that he's a vessel?
Boom.
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It's not even that, though. It's this whole conversation.
Because what's missing here? Empathy for Dean's plight.
Sam doesn't realize that this is why he's perpetually at... the kids' table. This right here.
In this whole conversation, Sam is eaten up with ranting about his own feelings, about how he's sick of being a puppet, and how he's going to hunt Lucifer down and gain redemption.
Sam's all about "how he can do this," how he's "gonna prove it to you."
It makes him seem a lot younger than he is.
....
There's no acknowledgment of how helpless Dean must have been feeling all this time, knowing that he's been targeted by an archangel, about how scary this whole thing is.
Hell, even Cas acknowledged Dean's fears re: Michael.
I mean: He did it in his Cas way, but it still acknowledged the enormity of the fear.
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Cas:
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///
Meanwhile, Sam back in 5x01, right after DEAN learned about being Michael's vessel: Geez, why is everyone so cranky and stressed?
🥺Dean, what do you mean that you didn't mean your pep talk to Bobby? Whaaaat? 🥺
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///
....
And the thing is. Not "getting it"? That's understandable. But this conversation is just... devoid of support for Dean.
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And they're not. Sam's zapping all the strength for himself.
When they've been together lately, Dean is the big brother who lends support, and Sam isn't giving anything back. Sam's out to prove himself, not to support others.
And they tell older siblings and parents to be patient, to let them learn, to step back and forgive, to be "a soft place to land."
That's hard to do. And it's exhausting.
And aside// Sam's apology to (demon) Bobby was SO MUCH NICER. Sam, where is this humility and energy for other people????
SAM: No, actually. Bobby, this is all my fault. I'm sorry. Lilith did not break the final seal. Lilith was the final seal. I killed her, and I set Lucifer free. You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on. I'm sorry.
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