#first of all we are a nonprofit that works with kids. my options are EXTREMELY limited

[dylawas-reblogs]

Genuine question @ me: why can't you get it together (rant in tags)

[deadbiwrites]

a video of supergirl grabbing lena luthor's ass starts circulating and it's very embarrassing for sc but extremely funny to their friends

(I am SO sorry. Where do these hide? Why do I never see them? How long has this been here?!

Anyways, have some cute nonsense!)

The day starts like any other, honestly.

Like, sure, Kara’s never thrilled when she wakes up 20 minutes late and has to use superspeed to get through her morning routine and into the office on time, but it happens regularly enough that she’s just sort of used to it by now. Like, the sky is blue, the grass is green, she manages time poorly. Whatever.

But she does get to work on time, with just enough to spare that she can make a brief detour to Nia’s desk for the coffee her protege has already bought for her, thank her profusely (with perhaps minor promising of firstborn children), and slip into the morning meeting just as Snapper, James, and Lena start handing out assignments for the day.

“Well, well, good of you to join us, Ponytail. Let me guess, a family emergency kept you out all night again?”

‘I mean, that Abraxian wasn��t my family, technically, but someone’s family, so…’ “Something like that. Sorry.”

Lena catches her eye and quirks a brow in question, but Kara just shrugs easily and sips her coffee, pulling a silly face at her friend when Snapper’s attention moves away from her. When her eyes uncross, she can tell Lena is fighting not to laugh, eyes sparking with mirth as she bites her lip. Kara takes another sip of coffee, feeling a bit smug that she can get Lena to smile without even having to say anything to her. That’s real talent, right there.

Especially since Lena has to stand up at the front with James, who has been by turns cold, dejected, and surly toward her since their breakup (a big, real, final one) a few weeks prior. Lena had said that the whole thing was a mistake, that she should’ve never gone for it in the first place because she’d been right the first time- they’d had some chemistry, after all, but it certainly wasn’t compatible long-term. 

Which… Kara can certainly relate. Like, a lot.

Especially about the whole… James being kind of wounded about it part. That part had really sucked- when he’d done it with Kara, who he’d gone on like, a date with, it’d resulted in him deciding to become a vigilante. Rao only knows what he’ll do when it’s someone he dated on and off for over a year...

“Ponytail!”

Kara jumps, realizing too late that her wandering attention hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Yes, sir?”

Snapper rolls his eyes. “Great, now that you’ve stopped orbiting Saturn, you wanna go get that article started?”

Kara’s eyes widen slightly in a panic as she realizes that she has no idea what he’s talking about. “Uh…” Behind his back, Lena catches her eye and nods subtly. Thank Rao. “Yes. I super do.”

Lena snorts, James sighs deeply, and the meeting is adjourned.

**

“So what exactly am I supposed to be doing today?” Kara asks Lena as they stroll out of the conference room together.

“Well unfortunately for you, you have to interview a big-time CEO. You have a meeting scheduled with her in three hours.”

“You?” Kara asks hopefully.

“You’re very sweet,” Lena chuckles. “No, Elena Watts. She’s a real estate developer, and she runs a nonprofit organization for homeless youth. It’s one of the articles we’re doing for next month’s spread. Contrary to popular belief, Cat and I weren’t the only women with high-profile jobs in this city. ”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool! Have you met her?”

“Not personally, no, but I have donated to her charity- it’s a very good cause, especially the outreach they do with queer youth.”

Kara elbows Lena gently. “You’re such a softie.”

“Mmm, maybe. But if you tell anyone, you’re fired.”

Kara clutches a hand to her chest, feigning horror. “Why Miss Luthor, what a blatant abuse of power!”

Lena shrugs. “I’m a Luthor, darling, I have to keep up appearances somehow.”

“Ouch,” Kara laughs. “See you at lunch?”

“Only if lunch includes a milkshake- I have a teleconference with both boards today. Unless you feel like joining me?”

“Wow, well as fun as that sounds, I’m gonna go do literally anything else.” Her comms crackle to life, alerting her of a hostage situation downtown, and Kara sighs. So much for a work day. “Alright, well, I’m, um, gonna go… see what I can find on Elena Watts. Maybe over another cup of coffee at Noonan’s.” She widens her eyes a bit, trying her best to convey that she’s going to be on Super-duty for a little while.

Thankfully, Lena picks up on it and grins. “You just want sticky buns.”

“Lena, I always want sticky buns. They’re like, my second favorite thing to eat.”

“Oh? What’s the first?” Lena asks, voice just a bit lower than usual. 

Kara opens her mouth and closes it, flushing slightly as she averts her gaze and adjusts the laptop bag on her shoulder. Stuff like that has been happening more and more, and she’s not 100% sure what to do about it. Because on the one hand, it makes her stomach do flips and tie up in knots and makes her brain do this… staticky thing where nothing filters in or out, just a pleasant buzz of how funny and smart Lena is and how much Kara likes hanging out with her and being flirted with (because that’s definitely what’s been happening, even if neither of them is really ready to address it) and just generally looking at Lena.... who is currently biting her lip and grinning up at Kara, and that buzz makes her kinda dumb, which is just really unhelpful. But on the other hand, it’s also kinda awesome and Kara really enjoys it, and-

“Kara?”

She spaced out again. Crap.

“Um. What time are you free for lunch?”

Lena sighs, seeming slightly disappointed that Kara isn’t flirting back at the moment (and thank Rao Lena can’t read minds), but she smiles back easily enough as they step off of the elevator. “I should be done by two.”

Feeling emboldened, Kara turns so she’s walking backwards in front of Lena and grins. “It’s a date,” she says with a grin, ducking forward to press a quick “friendly” kiss high on Lena’s cheek. She whirls and jogs out the double doors, leaving Lena smiling exasperatedly after her.

**

It is genuinely baffling to Kara that people still commit crimes in National City. It’s not even an ego thing, really, since Kara tries to keep herself humble (even when she manages to wrap up a hostage situation within twenty seconds of arriving on-scene without injuring any of the criminals or damaging the building too badly). Like, yeah, she gets that there’s a certain element of crazies who just sorta gravitate to places with a local hero, the big-bads who have their own suits and geek-toys and abilities. Them, Kara gets. Kinda sorta. But the regular ones, who are armed with like, pistols? Or knives? Just regular man made stuff without even the benefit of magic or kryptonite or something?

Why? 

She’s sure that if she asked, Lena would have some sort of statistical thing about large cities and poverty and all sorts of other factors that would end up making Kara feel like a jerk for being uncharitable to the criminal element of her city, but at the moment she’s mostly too annoyed by the fact that she has to spend her weekdays chasing them around instead of chasing stories.

Once all the hostages are freed and the cops secure the scene, Kara departs, flying into the alley behind Noonan’s and changing into her regular clothes before she heads inside to do a bit of research before her meeting with Elena Watts in a few hours (just because she’d used it as a cover doesn’t mean it was a bad idea…). She finds her favorite little two-person booth tucked into a quiet corner, plugs in her laptop, and gets to work, asking the waitress to please keep both the coffee and the sticky buns coming.

She gets a surprising amount done by the time she needs to leave for the interview, having a good foundation for what she wants to write and who Elena Watts is.

Ms. Watts turns out to be a pretty nice lady around Eliza’s age, if a bit busy and distracted by the steady flow of people in and out of her office. She answers all Kara’s questions with aplomb, happy to elaborate on most every point and eager to draw attention to the rising issue of homelessness among children and teens in the US.

“When I was young, my dad lost his job at the auto plant. It was supposed to be a temporary layoff, but the factory never reopened. We ended up losing the house, and we lived so far from our extended family that staying with them wasn’t much of an option. We lived in our SUV for six months, sleeping at shelters every now and again, if we could find one that allowed families to stay together. We showered at the local YMCA. Five people and a dog, living and sleeping in an old station wagon- even now, it sounds ridiculous. Eventually, we got back on our feet, but I never forgot that. It was just six months, but it was- and remains- the scariest, most uncertain time in my entire life, and it shaped me in a lot of ways I didn’t expect. And there are kids and families who do that for years. I just want to help them the way I wish that someone had been able to help us.”

At the end of the interview, Kara thanks her profusely for her time and for sharing her story before hurrying off to CatCo to type up a draft for Snapper (“What’s wrong with you, Ponytail, why is everything you bring me sappy and sentimental?”), which she finishes an outline of just in time to send it off before running to Big Belly and L-Corp for lunch with Lena.

She greets the newest in a series of secretaries (Anna? Amy? Ava? Lena’s really missing Jess, these days, but from what she’s told Kara, Jess is kicking butt in her new role as VP of Operations and will probably take over for the COO when he retires in a few years), and the girl waves her in distractedly.

And that’s when Kara’s day goes from normal to not, because inside the office are two masked men holding a stone-faced Lena at gunpoint on her balcony and demanding… something, probably. Kara’s a bit distracted by the loaded gun aimed at Lena’s head.

“Hey!” she yells, attracting both their attention. They whirl on her and Lena’s eyes widen in alarm, and Kara suddenly realizes three things- 1) she’s in her Kara Danvers clothes, not the supersuit, 2) she can’t speed into the suit now that they’re both looking at her, and 3) she has no plan.

Crap.

“Who the hell are you?!” one of them demands.

Kara… doesn’t have a good or snappy answer for that, and instead does the only thing she can think of- she throws the large milkshakes she’s carrying at them as hard as she can.

Which, in retrospect, is too hard, apparently because while yes, it is both funny and gratifying to see two grown men get absolutely leveled by a tasty dairy treat to the face, the one closest to Lena manages to elbow her in such a way that she falls backwards over the rail with an instinctual scream that makes Kara’s heart fly into her throat. She whips off her glasses, and by the time she’s out the window and speeding toward Lena’s flailing form, the suit is materialized. She gets under Lena, catching her carefully and dropping a bit further before slowing down (because she’s been made aware that when she doesn’t, the people she’s saving may as well be hitting the pavement), finally coasting to a stop about 20 feet from the ground.

Lena’s face is screwed up in a forced sort of focus, her hands clutching tightly at Kara’s shoulders and cape as she holds her breath.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks quietly.

Lena swallows thickly and nods, eyes still firmly closed. “I’m alright. Thank you- I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure how to get out of that one.”

“What was that? What did they want?”

Lena cracks an eye open. “Oh. you know, just my quarterly assassination attempt. I think my mother was starting to miss me, so she wanted to reach out.”

Kara snorts. “That really shouldn’t be funny.”

“Maybe not, but here we are.” Lena shifts a bit in Kara’s arms, cheeks a bit flushed from the adrenaline rush, and clears her throat. “Not to be rude, Supergirl, but do you think that perhaps we could continue this conversation… on the ground?”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, sorry. I forgot we were, uh, flying.”

Lena chuckles as they ascend slowly back up to her office. “You forgot you were flying?”

Kara shrugs with an easy smile. “I guess you have that effect on me.”

Lena huffs a laugh against Kara’s neck, eyes squeezed shut again. They alight on the balcony, finding the two men still unconscious, covered in Kara and Lena’s lunch. Lena sighs as Kara sets her down, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What a mess.”

“Yeah, sorry, I sorta… panicked.”  

“I was so looking forward to a milkshake too…” Lena laments playfully.

“Well, then I have good news and bad news,” Kara says. She reaches out and gently wipes a bit of her own chocolate shake from Lena’s cheek with the pad of her thumb, tucking it into her mouth on instinct to get a taste of it. “The good news is, you do, in fact, have some shake on you!”

“Whats the bad news?” 

“Also that you have some shake on you.” Kara laughs, gathering the two men in her arms and hefting them a bit so they’re easier to carry. “I’ll get you another one. Be right back.”

She drops the men at the police station with a brief explanation before flying back into the office. Lena hands over her discarded glasses with a wry grin.

“I figured you’d need these before the police arrive.” She’s putting on a brave front, but she’s clearly still more than a bit rattled, if her too-bright eyes and thundering heartbeat are anything to go by. Kara steps closer and opens her arms in invitation, and Lena doesn’t hesitate to step into them. “Thank you,” Lena says fervently, tucking her face into Kara’s shoulder and wrapping her arms tight around Kara’s waist. 

“Always,” Kara promises, daring to press a reassuring kiss to Lena’s temple (and getting a bit of Lena’s strawberry shake for her troubles) before wrapping her up even tighter in her arms. “Are you actually okay?”

“I mean, my fear of heights has been reaffirmed,” Lena jokes, “but aside from that, I’m not hurt.”

“Good. I don’t like, love people pointing guns at you. Just so you know.”

“I’m not a fan either, for the record,” Lena drawls, burrowing even closer. “Even though I know you’ll save me, it still puts a damper on my day.”

Kara huffs a laugh. “Same.”

They stay like that for a few minutes, until Lena’s calmed down enough to stop shaking and calls her assistant (Audra, apparently) in, telling her what’d happened and that the police would be arriving shortly to take her and Kara’s statements, and please advise the security team to let them up discreetly. After the cops arrive, it’s a blur of questions, and Kara has to concentrate on telling the story of how she’d panicked and thrown the milkshakes at the men, and one of them had knocked Lena over the balcony (all true), and Kara had yelled for Supergirl, who had knocked the men out on her way to Lena (also technically mostly true. Technically. Mostly.). The police are sure to tell Kara that next time, she shouldn’t throw things at people with guns, and also to tell them both how lucky they are that Supergirl had shown up when she did.

“She’s always there when I need her,” Lena agrees, throwing a sly wink over the officer’s shoulder at Kara.

Kara just shakes her head and smiles. Even almost dying isn’t enough to make Lena not flirt with her. The woman is truly a marvel.

Kara’s comms crackle again, accompanied by Alex’s custom ringtone on her cell, and after assuring the police that she has no issue with giving another statement if they need her to later, hurries over to the DEO (making a quick stop in the back alley to change into her suit).

**

When Kara arrives, she’s told that J’onn and Alex are waiting for her in the Directors’ offices. She makes her way there, waving to the agents and scientists she knows. But it’s very weird, because every time one of them sees her, they start giggling before quickly hurrying off in the opposite direction. Like, literally everyone is whispering and pointing and giggling, and it’s giving Kara such visceral flashbacks to high school that it’s all she can do to not check her cape for a taped on sign that says ‘Kick me’ or ‘Freak’.

(Kids are mean.)

By the time Kara gets to her destination, she’s fully paranoid, sure that someone’s playing a prank on her, somehow, and that everyone but her is in on the joke. She opens the door with more force than intended and catches it just before the handle puts a hole in the wall, throwing Alex and J’onn a sheepish smile. She closes the door extra gently and leans against it heavily. J’onn and Alex just stare at her, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“Busy day, Supergirl?” Alex asks, and after half a lifetime of spending time with her, Kara recognizes that she, too, is trying not to laugh. 

Kara’s had enough. “Okay, do I have something on my face? Or on the suit? Is someone messing with me?”

J’onn’s brow furrows. “No.”

“Then what’s the deal? Why is the entire DEO like… laughing at me? Did someone accidentally vent the lab fumes out into the main hub again?”

“No.”

“Did someone see me crash into that billboard last week?”

J’onn’s frown deepens. “What?”

“No,” Alex answers.

“Then why is everyone laughing at me?!”

“I mean, if I had to guess, I’d say it’s because of that,” Alex muses, nodding toward the big TV on the wall beside Kara.

She steps back to watch the news coverage of her dealing with the hostage situation this morning and frowns. “What, those guys? That was routine, what’s so funny about tha-”

“No, no, not that. That,” Alex clarifies, cranking up the volume.

“...reports are saying that the CEO of L-Corp, Lena Luthor, experienced an attempt on her life early this afternoon. Sources claim that she fell from a considerable height-”

“Hey, she was pushed,” Kara corrects.

“Shh!”

“...caught by Supergirl, who may have gotten a little… familiar with her.”

And there’s a video (clearly recorded on a cell phone but not the worst quality Kara’s ever seen) of Kara catching Lena and slowing to a stop above the sidewalk, of them talking quietly, of Kara’s hand definitely on Lena’s-

“Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Alex drawls, clicking the TV off with relish, a large, evil-big-sister grin spreading across her face. “Congratulations, Supergirl- the world just watched you grope Lena Luthor’s ass.”

“But I’m not- I wasn’t groping, I was catching! My hands weren’t… If it was groping, I’d be all up on her, and I wasn’t!”

“Camera begs to differ. It’s already trending on Twitter in National CIty.”

Kara puts her head in her hands and groans. “Why?! I was trying to save her!”

“You were definitely trying to save part of her,” Alex agrees. “Granted, it’s a very nice part...”

Kara’s head pops up, and she shoots Alex a look that’s between a pout and a glare. “You’re not helping.”

Alex feigns confusion. “Am I supposed to be helping?”

“Alright, enough,” J’onn cuts in before Kara can retort. “We just wanted you to be aware. I don’t think that this is going to be taken for anything more than it is- a humorous moment in the middle of a successful rescue. You shouldn’t worry about the press.”

And truth be told, Kara isn't worried about the press- she’s worried about the fact that she’s going to have to face Lena after this. Lena, who she knows for a fact has google alerts set for herself, Kara Danvers, and Supergirl, a gesture which is normally actually sweet and kind but is right now definitely gonna bite her in the-

“Okay! So, is that all?”

Alex blinks, looks over at J’onn, and shrugs. “I mean, yeah. Try not to make a habit of groping your crush when you’re in the suit.”

“I wasn’t groping her-”

Alex grins. “So you admit you have a crush? Interesting…”

“Alex!”

**

J’onn’s prediction is mostly right- no one seems to be taking the shots of her grabbi- saving Lena as anything other than a funny blip of a moment in their coverage of it.

He was wrong about the sheer scale. The clip had gone totally viral in a matter of hours, and seemingly every major network in the country has run the clip at least once as a bit of filler-fluff, and almost every major network anchor (including the ones at CatCo, the traitors) has made at least a passing joke about Supergirl being ‘Super-Handsy'.

Which means that Kara is very late getting back to Lena’s office with replacement food. But like, she’s been busy, okay? It’s not like she’s avoiding Lena, or something, because she’s embarrassed- which she isn’t, because she didn’t do anything bad or wrong and-

Anyways, it’s well past sunset by the time Kara gets to Lena’s office door again. She hesitates outside it for just a moment before shouldering the door open and knocking tentatively.

Lena’s attention jerks from whatever she’d been absorbed in to Kara, and a relieved smile blooms across her face. “Hey there.”

Kara finds herself equally relieved to not experience a repeat performance of earlier scary situations. “Hi,” Kara says, unable to resist smiling back. She raises the bags and cup carrier. “I bring grease and milkshakes. Again.”

“Oh thank god, I’m starving,” Lena says, rolling her chair away from her desk and rising into a deep and probably much-needed stretch. Kara very determinedly does not stare at the slight sliver of soft tummy that appears between her blouse and skirt at the motion. “I’ve been staring at this screen for several hours. And Sam called to yell at me- she says hello, by the way- she and Ruby are in town next weekend.”

“Good!” Kara crosses the room to the couch as Lena does, easily spreading out the veritable buffet of fast food she’d brought over the coffee table. “I mean, not good that she yelled at you, or that you’re still at work, Miss Luthor,” she says pointedly, receiving only an unapologetic shrug in response. “But good that, um-”

“I get it,” Lena chuckles, resting a hand lightly on Kara’s knee and boy, if that doesn’t make Kara’s brain go fuzzy and dumb again… “Thank you, for checking in.”

“Of course I was gonna check on you, Lena,” Kara huffs. “Plus, I know you probably didn’t get lunch, so…”

Lena hums around a mouthful of burger, chewing until she can politely speak again. “Well it’s delicious. Did you make it yourself?” she teases with a sly grin.

“Oh, yeah, totally. Slaved away over a hot stove for this- I just wrapped it in Big Belly wrappers so you wouldn’t feel bad about it.”

“Very clever.” Lena pops the lid off of her milkshake and drags a fry through it (an advanced culinary delicacy Kara had horrified her with initially but had eventually become a bit of a guilty pleasure). “Although I have to say, traditionally you’d have to buy me dinner before you grabbed my ass.”

Kara chokes on a pickle. “Oh no,” she groans, dropping the burger onto the wrapper on the table and dropping her very red face into her hands as Lena laughs beside her. She peers out from between her fingers. “I am so sorry, I was just worried about you hitting the pavement and like, catching you in the least jarring way and I wasn’t paying attention to where my hands were and I didn’t even notice until I got back to the DEO and-”

“Well I have so say, I feel a bit offended that you didn’t even realize you were copping a feel...” When the only response is another groan and a deep flush spreading from Kara’s neck to the tips of her ears, Lena relents. “Kara, Kara, it’s fine!” she laughs, pulling Kara’s hands away from her face and giving them a grounding squeeze. “Nia’s been sending me memes about it all day, which has improved my mood significantly. On the grand scale of fallout from assassination attempts, this one was at least funny.”

“I know that’s supposed to be comforting, but all it makes me wanna do is wrap you in bubble wrap forever,” Kara informs her.

“Pass on that. But seriously, don’t worry about it- I know it wasn’t on purpose- unfortunately for me, you’re too noble to do something like that,” Lena laments playfully.

And whether it’s the knowledge that Lena is not, in fact, upset, the overall weirdness that has been this day, or this delicious burger fueling it, Kara feels a bit emboldened. “Hey Lena…”

“Yes?”

“What if I wanted to grab your butt? Just, y’know, as a hypothetical. For future reference.”

Lena quirks a brow at her, fighting a smile as she contemplates this. “Hmm. Strictly hypothetically?”

Kara scoots a bit closer on the couch. “Sure.”

 “Well, you’ve already bought me dinner…”

“And lunch, technically. Even if I gave it to the bad guys.”

“True. Plus you saved my life, so that gets you some points, probably.”

Kara pauses in her sly scooching. “Oh, hey, wait, no, that’s not-” 

“Kidding, Kara. I know you’d never use that to your advantage. I, however, have determined that strong moral fibre and nobility do, in fact, earn you more points, which is my choice on the matter and you get absolutely no say in it.”

“Oh. Um, alright, I think.”

Lena stares off into the middle distance, tapping her forefinger thoughtfully against her chin. Finally she shrugs. “Yes, I think you’re fulfilled the prerequisites for a bit of grab-ass today.”

Kara snorts, Lena laughs, and soon enough Kara takes her up on the offer.

**

“Hey Kara, remember that time you grabbed Lena’s ass and it made international news?” Nia asks around a mouthful of mushu pork.

“You mean last week? Yes, I remember,” Kara drawls. Beside her/halfway sitting on her lap, Lena snorts.

“That was the best.”

Alex glares. “Um, excuse you, no. No it was not. I had to sift through so much thirsting over my sister on like, every social media platform. It was the worst day of my life.”

Brainy’s brow furrows. “Surely that cannot be correct, Alex. Statistically speaking-”

Alex holds up a hand, cutting him off. “Trauma can’t be measured, Brainy.”

Kelly chuckles and presses a consoling kiss to Alex’s cheek, and it makes the tough agent melt into a doe-eyed puddle of mush that Kara snorts. And she says they’re gross... Kara sneaks a glance at Lena from the corner of her eye, and she catches Lena looking at her. She leans close and jostles her gently as she drops her head onto Lena’ shoulder. “We’re never gonna live that down, are we?”

“Probably not.”

“We have the worst friends.” When this elicits nothing but a chuckle, Kara tips her head back to see Lena still looking at her, a soft smile playing at her mouth and shining in her eyes. And like, this whole thing they’re doing is new, with the kissing and the actual dates and the... everything else. But the thing where Kara catches Lena looking at her and she doesn’t look away? That freakin’ knocks her out, every single time. “Hey,” she manages.

Lena grins down at her. “Hi.”

So yeah. Maybe the initial circumstances weren’t ideal, and she doesn’t love the mockery that’s been heaped upon her by all of her friends and loved ones (including Winn, who’d sent a missive from the future that literally just said ‘LOL’). But the fact is, Kara muses as she surges up just enough to kiss the corner of Lena’s mouth, that she doesn’t regret a thing.

[yikesharringrove]

maybe? 👉👈 steve taking a really long time with college (like on one year and off one yours year, on, off, on, off) and he still doesn't really know what he wants to do and he gets really frustrated bc billy just did college all in one go and steve is taking forever and he feels down on himself? idk im feeling the whump rn???

Steve had left high school having no idea what he wanted from the rest of his life.

That’s not true, he had some idea.

He knew he wanted to leave Hawkins, follow Billy wherever he was going. He knew he wanted to be with Billy for the rest of his life, he knew he wanted to leave the past behind and make new friends, people who were kind, and fun, and didn’t bat an eye when Billy pulled him into his lap.

But that’s about it.

So when Billy graduates high school, and gets a full ride to UC Berkeley, and they move into a cheap apartment in downtown Oakland, Steve is so happy that he got out.

He gets a job waiting tables at a restaurant down the street, pays half the rent and buys the groceries while Billy’s in class.

But then two years pass, and Billy’s soaring through college, working to his degrees, plural, because he just couldn’t decide between studying English Literature or Biology with a focus in research.

So he’s majoring in both and getting a minor in Italian because then I’ll know what you’re sayin’ when you start horny babblin’.

And Steve was at the same restaurant.

True, he was assistant manager now, and it came with a pretty okay raise, and he even gets dental insurance, but he feels so stuck.

So he enrolls in community college.

He starts with some general classes, still completely unsure of what he wants to study.

Billy said it was okay to just rule out things you don’t want to study, to nearly fail a math course and know that accounting is not for you.

So when Steve finishes his first year, he at least knows what he doesn’t want to pursue.

Meanwhile Billy has an internship at a lab through Kaiser Permanente. And he can read and write Italian than Steve can.

Steve is walking home from his job at the restaurant when it happens. He’s crossing the street, and gets hit by a car.

He’s taken to the hospital, where he’s informed of a fractured spine and another concussion.

He’s told his injury could’ve been much more severe, that he will not experience paralysis, but he needs physical therapy and walking will be difficult for a while.

Their finances take a big hit.

Billy’s internship doesn’t pay super well, and with Steve being unable to work for the foreseeable future, he’s fired.

Billy has insurance through the school, but because on paper, he and Steve have no real relation, Steve’s medical bills come out of pocket.

So Steve is bedridden for months. He can’t work or get groceries, or do fucking anything but lay there.

They can’t afford physical therapy.

But Billy has a friend studying to be a PT, and she comes over every Saturday, and practices her technique on him in exchange for ten bucks and a few beers.

And so the money Steve tucked away for school is rapidly diminishing.

By the time Billy graduates, Steve is a year into recovery. He still gets dizzy at odd intervals, and his back gets stiff when it rains, but Billy gets a job right away, doing research on flu vaccines.

And Steve goes back to work.

He gets a desk job, something he won’t have to be on his feet all day for. He works reception for a message therapist, which comes with free massages, which work wonders on his back.

So in the fall, he decides to give his education another shot.

He learns that history is not for him, and that his nutrition course was fine until they began looking into how the body processes nutrients, and he was fucking lost. He takes a few business classes, thinking, hoping genetics would take over and this is something he could do.

But his dad was right to take away the job opportunity at his own firm. Steve was not cut out for this.

After a year of research, Billy is promoted three times. He ends up working on some extremely important study that Steve does not understand for the fucking life of him.

But he sits and listens every time Billy explains what he did that day, even though Steve gets so sad when Billy mentions having to kill the lab mice to study their bodies.

So Steve is two years into community college, five years into living in Oakland with Billy, and he still is lost.

He takes a semester off, working more hours, trying to save up some money.

Because Billy is beginning to think about grad school, and that shit’s not cheap.

But Billy decides to postpone that, work for a few more years, and besides, he’s caught between studying something to put him in a research field, or just straight up going to medical school to study infectious disease.

Because Billy could. He’s smart enough for medical school, smart enough to research and be a doctor.

And Steve has a smushy spine and half a degree in nothing.

A semester off turns into a year.

A year and a semester.

Two years.

They’ve been in California for seven years, and Billy gets into grad school in San Diego. They move south and Billy spends late nights pursuing a Masters in Immunology.

And Steve works the front desk at a pediatrician’s office.

He’s flipping through a course catalog from the San Diego Community College when Billy comes home from his new job, the position he got after applying to only three labs.

He kissed the top of Steve’s head, moving to grab himself a beer from the fridge.

“You thinkin’ of going back?”

“I don’t know.” Steve slid the catalog closed. “Is it even worth it?”

“That’s something you have to decide.” Billy sat down, sliding the catalog towards him. Steve had crossed off the classes he had already taken, the ones he new he wouldn’t like.  “And you know, going to school isn’t the only option. You could get an apprenticeship, master a trade.”

“I can’t do anything where I need to bend over for really any length of time. So that rules out plumber, and car mechanic, and anything physical like construction, or landscaping or even general contracting is right out.”

Steve could feel the old shame, the doubt and the self hatred crawling up his spine.

“I have nothing to offer. I have no discerning skills, and in seven years I’ve only made it through two years of goddamn community college, and here you are, ripping through grad school like a fourth degree is easy.”

“Stevie, you’ve got a lot to offer. We just gotta find something that suits you.” He took Steve’s pen, turning to the back page of the catalog. “Okay, we’re gonna write down all of you strengths, and think of career paths that could fit those. I’ll go first, you’re extremely caring. You’d be good at any career where you care for people.”

“But I can’t study nursing or something, I barely understood my biology 101 course. Plus, nurses are strong. I can’t lift more than like, thirty pounds.”

“There’re way more caring fields than nursing, Pretty Boy. Although I would love if you were my nurse.” Billy smirked at him, leaning in to plant a sloppy kiss to Steve’s cheek as he rolled his eyes. “Another strength: your emotional intelligence is through the fucking roof.” He wrote it down. “Okay, I’ve said tow, so you say one.”

“Um, I think that I’m good at making people laugh?”

“Yes! You are. Perfect.” Billy scribbled it down. “You’re a good leader.”

“I’m pretty good at reading people.” Billy wrote Intuitive, can smell a douchebag from a mile away.

“You’re good under pressure.”

“Sometimes.”

“Every time I’ve seen. You’re good at keeping calm and keeping others calm.”

“I guess.”

“Nah, Stevie. Positives only. Say a strength.”

“I’m, uh, I’m good at, bilingual?” Billy stared at him. “Like, I’m bilingual.”

“Are you sure? I don’t think that was English, even.” Steve slapped his chest, Billy laughed. “I’m joking. You are bilingual. You’re also really good at making others feel safe.”

“I was always pretty alright at public speaking.”

“You’ve got a great eye for detail.”

“I’m good at teamwork, and delegating.”

“You’re really compassionate, too.” Billy drew a line under the strengths side. “Okay, so now we’ve got some of your strengths, think about what you’d want in a job, and we can match everything up and think about some careers that could fit.” Steve nodded, racking his brain.

“Um, I would want to work with kind people, I would kind of like to do something, you know, worthwhile. I’d like to be in charge of something. Like it’s fine if I have a boss to answer to, but I’d like to be fairly independent.”

“I already have so many ideas.”

“Lay ‘em on me.” Steve sat back, closing his eyes to try and picture everything Billy threw out.

“I’ve actually always thought you’d be a really good teacher. Especially if you did like, kindergarten. Just got to be around little kids all day.” Steve could actually see it. “I also think you’d be a could social worker, like to work with Child Protective Services, or something. Um, you’d be good at even planning. Or I think you’d be really good working at a nonprofit of some kind. Maybe you could be the event planner for a nonprofit.”

And Steve was sitting there, and suddenly, he had four career paths, just sitting right in front of him. Four super attainable career paths.

“Wait, wait those make sense.” Billy beamed at him.

“Yeah, that’s because I know you, Pretty Boy.” Billy opened the catalog. “So, I think if you choose to enroll, you should pick a few classes, like, Intro to Social Work, Early Childhood Education 100, and maybe like, Sociology, and see from there.”

Steve stared at the course descriptions for what Billy circled.

“Thank you for helping me. I’m sorry this has taken me so long.”

“It’s okay. Everyone is on a different timeline. And it’s not like you got to explore options in high school. You were told business until your dad decided that nevermind. So it’s understandable that this took you a minute. Plus, you went through hell with your back.”

Steve sat up straight, stretching out his back.

“But, I mean, the back thing kinda happened to you too, and you still made it through all your schooling.”

“Sure, I watched you go through it, but I was not in the pain you were. And like, emotionally, it fucking sucked to watch the love of my goddamn life go through something, and I couldn’t even afford therapy. Like, I felt so helpless, but that’s nothing to what you went through literally experiencing it.” Steve took Billy’s hand, linking their fingers together, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

“You did the best you could. Everything was shit for like, that whole year.”

“I cannot telly you how many times I would go into an individual study room in the library and just like, sob for a while.And then I’d get so mad at myself, thinking of you at home, hurting and not even able to get yourself out of bed, and I’d race home feeling like shit.”

Steve scrubbed his fingers through Billy’s hair. He had cut it a while ago, kept it short these days.

“You were doing everything you could for me. I would just sit in bed all day, and think about how amazing you are. Like I would just think about all the good times we’ve had together, and how much I love you.”

“That explains why we didn’t fight for like, that whole year.” Steve laughed. Billy leaned to kiss him softly.

“And you know, even now we’ve done this, there’s still no rush on you. You don’t have to go back to school this year, of this decade, or anytime until you’re ready. Until you want to.”

“Well now, I feel like there’s a fucking light at the end of the tunnel. I’m almost, excited. Is this how you feel? Excited to go to school?”

“Welcome to the nerd life, Sweet Thing.” Billy drained the last of his beer. “You wanna go out tonight? Celebrate?”

“Like, go out to dinner, or go out?”

“Oh, just like dinner. Be home by eight thirty, in bed by nine, missionary with the lights off, and asleep by nine fifteen.”

“Sign me the fuck up.”

[josiebelladonna]

archive of our own was created out of a reaction to censorship (read: the strikethrough incident on live journal and the purges on ff.net). i don’t know about you but i’m guessing this comes from a place of not really knowing the history of censorship all too well—not assuming you do, but something tells me you have never had a creation of yours criticized and torn apart because someone somewhere didn’t like it. when you are put in that position, a place like ao3 is vital to you. and when you think about it, it is just a library. you can put fanfictions on there as well as original works (like i’ve hosted original works on there) and also art.

i’m also going to say that you don’t know what beta even is—the site is in what’s known as “open (or public) beta”, and all that is is just a demonstration of what could be sold and is brought to a wide range of users. this is in comparison to closed, or private beta, which is software not ready to go public (computer science is extremely easy to look up and understand). ao3 is enormous, there’s millions of users that frequent the place, and you want to complain about a small select few of volunteers who run the site for not catering to you and the millions of others who at the very least know about it? that’s a tall order, and one that i feel stems out of entitlement.

it is better than the next option. name one other site that hosts fanfic or anything else that feels as though they have your best interest in mind, it doesn’t feel like there’s this overhanging feeling that something can go horribly wrong, or that the sky is truly the limit. go ahead. i’ve got all day.

excuse me, they were asking for 50 grand and they got over five times that in a couple of days. they always do gain more than they ask for. they’re a nonprofit organization, too. do me a favor. YOU start a nonprofit, run a fundraiser and earn far more than what you were asking for, and come crying to me when you have no idea what to do with that extra money.

and here we go, the sign that this is a pretentious person writing this out, feigning interest in the real issues while writing it out in a british accent as if you think the place is run by racist incestuous americans (which is very ironic because people around the world use the site.

first off, i’ve always had this assumption that people who think they host cp on there and that people are going there to access it are the ones going to access it: there’s something nefarious going on with you breed of antis (i mean, really, if you assume that “underage” strictly means “underage sex”, you’ve got another thing coming). my guess is much like my first point in that you have never been the victim of censorship: you’ve never written something that delved into the dark side of life, and you know what? life is fucking messy. it’s painful. it’s fucked up. it’s not this picture perfect image you antis desire so much and to quite pathetic extent, might i add. horrible things happen to kids, and horrible things happen to adults, and yet they can compelling, even cathartic—i know it’s been that way for me. by the way, when you access a work rated explicit, you’re met with a checkpoint to make sure you want to continue on with it. it’s not like wattpad where they let anyone fake their age so they can read mature works.

second, i’m a girl of mixed race. i have felt like a second class citizen in fandom, especially my fandoms of choice (the rock n roll world, which is FUCKING HORRIBLE with things like racism and sexism). but don’t blame the site or the o.t.w., blame the fans for perpetuating that bullshit and doing nothing about it. this isn’t wattpad or ff.net, which are run by companies: it’s a nonprofit grassroots thing that can only do so much with what they have and they’re doing it beautifully, and they’re truly grateful for the support they get, and they don’t need bitches like you getting your panties in a twist and throwing your toys around all because you don’t like it.

lastly, “excusing it” (and somewhere else, i saw the word apologist). you make it sound like it’s the worst thing to grace the earth as if it’s the antichrist, which is hilarious given you shoehorned in the word “supercilious” for no reason other than to inflate yourself. let me define that for the nice children who read this and have no idea what that word means; supercilious = behaving or looking as though one thinks one is superior to others. so i just have to laugh at this because op, you are so bitter and angry, and for no reason, either. you complain that a site hosting fanfiction is supposedly run by people with their nose in the air—well, they do have their nose in the air, and that’s to keep it away from the shit making up people like you, is so problematic that you have to get so far up on your own high horse that you don’t realize that you’re burning up in the sun. and with that, i just have to laugh at you and every other anti who comes up with fucking bullshit like this (and i also have to laugh at the fact that you inadvertently called me an asshole when you have no idea who i am).

okay, you guys know i never engage in online discourse unless I really think it’s important to say. but i’m sick and tired of seeing these pro-AO3 posts that willfully misread what people are annoyed about. people are not unaware or annoyed about the fact that websites cost money to maintain. people are not unaware or annoyed about the fact that websites that do not run ads must ask for donations. instead, here is a short list of the many things people are annoyed about:  

– the fact that thousands of people are choosing to donate to AO3 instead of any of the very desperate causes that are currently going on, and that many of these are the same people who pay lip service to caring about these causes   

– the fact that AO3 asks for money to maintain its website and yet has been in Beta mode for 12 years, as well as failing to meet many of the very important requests by users   

– the fact that people are saying “well its better than anywhere else sweaty (:” as though AO3 cannot be criticized as long as it is marginally better than the next best option   

–the fact that AO3 has received over 5 times the amount of money it requested and yet has not announced plans to redistribute the extra   

–the fact that thousands of people decided to donate to a website that systematically fails to address the racist content and child pornography it hosts   

–the fact that AO3 and the OTW as a whole have shown time and time again that they do not care about fans of colour, and that fans of colour who speak up about this are accused of promoting censorship for wanting to be respected    the fact that by their own admission, it took them years of receiving requests to even begin working on a block feature   

the racism and the child pornography holy shit you supercilious assholes people know things cost money but they get annoyed when that money goes to excusing godawful shit

[brainmassofficial]

School Reopenings

Covering the seismic changes to U.S. education, from preschool to K-12 to universities, that are taking place during the coronavirus pandemic.

Teachers are fighting record levels of burnout. And applying to college is even harder this year.

Evin Shinn is a literacy coach at a public middle school in Seattle.Jovelle Tamayo for The New York Times

‘Teachers are not OK right now’

In the toughest school year in recent memory, teachers have been at the center of bitterly fought questions about whether students should be learning online or in person. But as our colleague Natasha Singer reported this week, the debate has often missed just how emotionally and physically draining the pandemic has been for the educators themselves.

“Teachers are not OK right now,” said Evin Shinn, a literacy coach at a public middle school in Seattle.

Teachers have been often criticized for challenging in-person teaching, even as those coming to classrooms worry about their health. Others, struggling with remote learning, watch students zone out or miss assignments. And those teaching hybrid can have the worst of both worlds.

“You’re trying to be two people at once, trying to help the students who are online and the students who are in front of you,” said Sarah Gross, a veteran high school English teacher in New Jersey.

Gross tries to keep one eye on the classroom, making sure her in-person students are wearing masks and maintaining social distance. She trains the other eye online, where remote students often need help troubleshooting computer problems. Often, her remote students can’t hear their peers in the classroom — and vice versa.

“It’s not sustainable,” she said. “That’s the hardest thing to come to grips with for myself and my colleagues.”

In more than a dozen interviews with Natasha, educators described immense challenges and exhaustion exacerbated by the pandemic. Some educators said their workloads had doubled. Others recounted the whiplash of having classrooms abruptly open and close, sometimes more than once.

Almost universally, they described a crippling emotional cost. Teachers have become impromptu social workers, directing students to food banks or acting as grief counselors for those who have lost family members. They help pupils work through their feelings of anxiety, depression and isolation.

“If we keep this up, you’re going to lose an entire generation of not only students but also teachers,” said Shea Martin, an education scholar and facilitator who works with public schools on issues of equity and justice.

Amanda Kaupp, a high school psychology teacher in St. Louis, said: “Three years ago, we started to learn how to run from armed intruders. Last year we learned how to pack bullet wounds. This year, we’re trying to figure out how to bring back learning in a pandemic.”

Experts and teachers’ unions warn of a looming retirement wave, which would further undermine the fitful effort to resume normal public schooling. In a recent survey by the National Education Association, the country’s largest teachers’ union, 28 percent of educators said the coronavirus had made them more likely to leave teaching or retire early.

“The days where it’s 13-plus hours at school, you’re just exhausted,” said Caitlyn Clayton, an eighth-grade English teacher in rural Illinois who toggles between in-person and remote students. “We’re seeing an extreme level of teacher burnout.”

Neither of Lea Caldwell’s parents finished college. She’s applying, but she’s also working part time, dealing with the pandemic and managing her school work.Elaine Cromie for The New York Times

Applying to college? Buckle up.

Trying to get into a college or university is always hard. This year, it comes with a host of new obstacles.

Millions of families face a staggering and unrelenting financial crisis, and might have to reimagine plans for higher education. Tens of millions of high school seniors have spent their fall semester learning remotely. Standardized test dates have moved or been outright canceled. And extracurricular activities — whether it’s soccer or songwriting — are an afterthought at best.

“It’s all a balance, and I’m not really balanced right now,” Lea Caldwell, 17, a senior who lives in Detroit, told our colleague Anemona Hartocollis.

University undergraduate enrollment is down 4.4 percent this semester. Schools need every student they can get, but virtual college tours and other forms of online outreach often make it more difficult to form personal connections with applicants. And few institutions have been willing to cut tuition to incentivize a new crop of students.

A line to take the SATs in Sleepy Hollow, N.Y., in September. Many test dates have been canceled this year, affecting students across the country.Hilary Swift for The New York Times

Colleges have made some accommodations — at least 1,600 made standardized tests optional. The Common Application also added an optional 250-word essay about the virus’s impact, to give students a chance to explain their circumstances.

Still, fewer students applied in the early decision rounds this year, a trend that experts think may extend to the regular decision pool. Early applications from low-income and first-generation students are down 10 percent, and the number of high school seniors who have filled out a free application for federal student aid dropped 16 percent compared with last year.

“I feel like I’m knocked off my square,” said Caldwell, whose parents did not finish college. “I can’t really ask anyone in my family, so I’m taking it one step at a time. I’m going to get there.”

A lesson plan: The Times’s Learning Network put together a series of questions that teachers could ask seniors to help reflect on their own application processes, based on Anemona’s article.

In related news: California State University extended its deadline to apply for incoming freshman and transfer students to Dec. 15, to mitigate challenges exacerbated by the pandemic.

Around the world

College update

Indiana put out a call for college students to help the state cope with the surge. Available jobs include substitute teaching, contact tracing and helping nursing home patients.

An opinion: Despite protests from custodians, Harvard University has not guaranteed the same job protections for those workers for the spring semester as it did in March. “The University’s unwillingness to guarantee pay for all of its employees speaks to the pull of corporate Harvard on its decision making,” wrote the editorial board of The Harvard Crimson, the student newspaper.

A good listen: WBUR spent time with Josh Knight, a first-year student in the honors program at Framingham State University, outside of Boston. He shared his dreams and his struggles with housing insecurity with beautiful candor.

K-12 update

Average math scores for nearly 4.4 million third to eighth graders were five to 10 percentile points lower this fall, compared with last year, said NWEA, a nonprofit organization.

The Kansas City, Kan., school board voted to start in-person instruction in April.

In New Jersey, dilapidated school buildings have forced many low-income and nonwhite students into remote learning because officials denied most requests to fix ventilation and heating systems, The Hechinger Report wrote.

Parents walking their children to school in Paris last week.Dmitry Kostyukov for The New York Times

As France’s test positivity rate hovers around 11 percent, it has closed bars and restaurants, but kept most elementary schools open.

An Oklahoma district has implemented the state’s controversial in-school quarantine option.

Even though public high school students in Atlanta are still learning remotely, an upcoming “Spider-Man” movie may be allowed to film in classrooms early next year.

A really good read: ProPublica has a sweeping story about two Georgia schools that approached the virus very differently. At one school, with a mask-optional policy, a teacher spent four weeks on a ventilator after a wave of cases. The other, which required masks and also trained its own contact tracers, reported no school-related cases in the first month of classes.

What has your kid taught you?

Has the pandemic helped you discover new things about your children this year?

We’d like to hear from parents whose children are at home, including those with college kids who spend part of the year on campus. Click here to share your story.

[dickinsonstate]

McKenzie Reisenauer succeeds against the odds

We root for people beating the odds because we admire their grit and determination, and we hope to find a bit of that in ourselves. McKenzie Reisenauer is one individual who doesn’t have to hope for that, because she’s the one doing it. Reisenauer used her own grit and determination to accomplish something few in her shoes have and is now proud to be part of the small percentage of foster care alumni to graduate from college. According to an article1 examining educational outcomes among foster care alumni, Karen Randolph and Heather Thompson (2017) reported that 70 percent of foster care alumni would like to attend college, however, only 7 percent actually enroll, and of these 7 percent, it is estimated that only 2 percent complete their degree program. This is well below the completion rate of those who are not foster youth.

As a small child, Reisenauer didn’t have a home to call her own. She was placed in foster care when she was 2 years old and then hopped between her mom’s and her maternal grandparents’ houses. At age four, she lost her mother, and her grandparents took guardianship of her. Growing up, she faced a range of difficulties—some many other children face and others unique to Reisenauer. “Some challenges I experienced growing up vary from not having the coolest stuff or the most friends to having to grow up quickly and raising myself somewhat,” Reisenauer shared. “During grade school, the biggest challenge for me was not having a traditional family like most of the other kids.” She was also bullied. “I was picked on for not having parents. The kids would say no one loved me or other mean things. When I was a sophomore in high school, a boy said to me, ‘If I was your mom, I would have killed myself, too.’” But even at a young age, Reisenauer was strong-willed and was able to pick herself up and dust herself off. “I never let bullying affect me. I persevered. My main challenge was just making it on my own, having to be very independent to achieve my goals.”

At age 18, Reisenauer moved out on her own. College was never optional in her mind, and she was determined to not have any student debt upon graduation. To achieve this goal, she worked in excess of full time while taking at least 17 credits each semester. She continued to fight and win her battle against the odds. “Paying bills and tuition and just making ends meet while focusing on my school work was probably the biggest challenge of college life. Other challenges included not having anyone in my family who had gone to college to help me through the process. That is why I joined the TRiO program. They made sure I received any help I needed along the way.”

TRiO is a national federal grant program at Dickinson State University (DSU) whose Student Support Services (SSS) program is designed to assist students in reaching their goal of obtaining a bachelor’s degree. DSU’s grant currently services 185 students who are first generation college students (neither parent graduated with a bachelor’s degree), low income (according to federal income guidelines), or have a documented disability. The TRiO SSS program at Dickinson State, who obtained its first TRiO grant in 1997, is celebrating 20 years of assisting students.

“We are a support for students, assisting in a multitude of areas including but not limited to advising, financial literacy, equipment checkout, social and cultural events, and various skills such as note taking, test taking and studying,” said Christiana Pond, assistant director of DSU’s TRiO program. “We are basically here to help guide the student with whatever they need.”

With TRiO helping to ease some of the worry of college life, Reisenauer was able to focus on her studies. Her spirit and work ethic made quite an impression on her professors. Dr. Debora Dragseth had Reisenauer in several of her business administration classes. “McKenzie quickly proved herself to be one of the most inspirational and thoughtful students in the class. She is an outstanding individual who is extremely committed to her career goals and constantly seeking to reach higher and accomplish more.” Dragseth continued, “McKenzie is truly a heroic young woman. I would place her among the most creative, giving and kind students that I have worked with in my 29-year career at DSU.”

All of Reisenauer’s efforts paid off when she walked across the stage to receive her diploma at Dickinson State University’s 2017 fall commencement ceremony. Reisenauer graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree, double majoring in accounting and business administration. Now that she has a little more free time, she plans to begin volunteering for places in Dickinson that help youth such as the Best Friends Mentoring Program or helping with fundraisers for PATH, a private nonprofit child and family services agency. And she doesn’t plan on stopping there. Her future goals include getting an additional bachelor’s degree in social work. “I want to open a business helping kids in the foster care system or that have rough home lives,” said Reisenauer. “I hope to facilitate counselors for the kids to express themselves to and a safe place for them to go to, to make friends and gain social skills, while also providing hot meals and a voice to advocate for them.”

Reisenauer credits her success to her grandparents. “They chose to take me in when they didn't have to and raised me to believe in myself and become successful. My grandma always said, ‘Work with your brain, not your back.’ She pushed me to succeed in high school and college. Both of my grandparents were always there to congratulate me on a good grade or achievement, such as the dean's list that I received a spot on three times. They are the main factor in my success.”

By: Salena Loveland

1Randolph, Karen A. and Heather Thompson. “A systematic review of interventions to improve post-secondary educational outcomes among foster care alumni.” Children and Youth Services Review, vol. 79, Aug. 2017, pp. 602-611, ISSN 0190-7409, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2017.07.013.

[infjparadox]

I relate to this so hard. I went into college as “undecided” because I had the exact same problem - pursue my passion of film and art despite my lack of connections, the problems I could face securing a job, etc OR go into the biomedical route so I could help people on a more advanced level.

Well, my scholarships wouldn’t let me flounder, so I HAD to pick a major that first semester or lose my money. After a very stressful few weeks, I decided on Environmental Science because I cared about the planet, it required the least amount of chemistry, and I could see myself working as like...a forest ranger up in the mountains XD. But I still had no idea if that was what I wanted, even throughout college. It wasn’t until I actually had an internship my junior year (in sustainable management) that I realized, whoa, I LIKE this. (Independent work that has a broader team to accomplish a wide range of goals really sat well with me).

I didn’t hate my classes though. I started to find that I really enjoyed learning about the state of our environment and the interconnectedness of all things. Climate change and pollution became a big, “righteous” goal for me to tackle. I’d never been the best at science, so it was a good challenge. In other words, I learned a very important thing about INFJs: we are fantastic at adapting to our circumstances and finding meaning in what we are doing. Now I’ve graduated, and I’m working as the manager of my states nonprofit green business program, trying to reduce waste, pollution, GHG, and increase awareness throughout the business sector. It’s extremely fulfilling, and I’m able to incorporate my creativity into the marketing aspect, which I love. And I still have time for my other artistic hobbies after work — it’s amazing how much time you have without homework omg. So I don’t regret my decision for one second.

So, my point is, we’re adaptable, and if you truly find you don’t enjoy the path you’ve chosen, you can still change your mind!! Make sure you dip a toe in your career first through internships or job shadowing (I tried being a camp counselor one year and decided I was 1) never going to be a teacher and 2) probably never having kids lol.). Take other elective classes to explore possibilities (I took art classes, philosophy WHICH I LOVED, and my major let me explore so many different avenues, from wildlife to soil science to renewable energy that it was easy to find my niche). And finally, if you choose one of those options, you don’t have to rule out the other. You could be an art teacher or hold night classes for a little extra money. You could bring art into your classroom, your work space, etc.

Try not to worry too much about where you’re headed, and focus on whether or not you like where you’re at / what classes appeal to you the most. I think we put too much pressure on students to have their lives figured out without any real experience. You can’t know for sure what’s right for you until you try it.

Hello, I am an INFJ in college, paralyzed about choosing a career/major. Many interests hold meaning for me, but they remain embryonic because I am afraid to actualize possibilities/commit to anything. I am torn between artistic pursuits or service-oriented career (like teaching). One feels frivolous/selfish, the other feels too obligatory/"righteous". I don't want to make the "wrong" choice and find myself in the future unfulfilled, having to completely realign my values. Why do I fear this?

Perhaps you should look up “paradox of choice” as it is often a major contributing factor to indecisiveness. I don’t have the answer as to why you fear things because I don’t read minds; the answer lies within you and is for you to reflect on for yourself. Generally speaking, when a person fears making mistakes, it is likely that they fear confronting reality, especially the truth of their own flaws and weaknesses. For infjs this looks like: 1) faulty Ni that creates arbitrary, unhealthy, idealistic images of “perfection” to live up to, 2) faulty Fe that fears becoming a morally “unacceptable” or “inferior” or “inadequate” person, 3) faulty Ti that makes bad judgments or draws nonsensical conclusions (e.g. “art is selfish”, “helping is righteous”), 4) faulty Se that creates intense fear of an unpredictable world. If you see some truth in that description, then function development is necessary, refer to the study guides.

[televisedbirdwatching]

Shelters and Design ep.2: Towards a Design Language for Shelters

Last week, I argued that the Wapato Detention Facility in North Portland should never have been proposed for use as a homeless shelter. First, the design language of jails is one that disallows flexibility of use- I argued that no aesthetic or architectural changes could have transformed Wapato enough to make it anything other than a jail. Second, the idea that Wapato was an appropriate place for the homeless (even in a newer, remodeled state) revealed a politics of design based on criminalizing homelessness.

Austin Resource Center for the Homeless, Designed by (and P/C) Murray Legge Architecture.

This week, I want to talk about the design features of successful shelters, and highlight the role of design in creating positive and supportive shelter environments. Shelters play a critical role as a first step towards stability for homeless folks. However, some people choose to avoid shelters, often for good reason. In an interview with NPR, David Pirtle says of his time being homeless that:

“Part of the reason was, you know, the paranoia and the fear of large groups of people that comes along with schizophrenia, but part of the reason was, and I think this is more generally the case with people, is that you hear a lot of terrible things about shelters, that shelters are dangerous places, that they're full of drugs and drug dealers, that people will steal your shoes, and there's bedbugs and body lice… …I don't want to say that all shelters are like that. There's a lot of very good shelters in this country. But there are a lot of big warehouses that are just places where we stick people at night and we really don't have any regard for how they live there.”

I will argue that design provides the critical difference between a mere “place to stick people at night” and a shelter that supports and humanizes people.

A view inside an old shelter in Denver. Fortunately, not long after this photo was taken, the shelter was able to upgrade from mats to real beds. P/C Westword.

But, design for shelters is no easy task. The population of people experiencing homelessness is a diverse group of people of different ages, genders, and sexual orientations with complications such as trauma, mental illness, and substance abuse. These factors “make it difficult to predict how a particular individual will respond to the physical environment of any given facility.” For example, some design features may benefit families with children. An adult in addiction recovery may have a different set of needs best met by a different design language.

However, some general design principles seem to benefit all types of people. Professor Jill Pable at Florida State University argues that creating conditions that allow people to exert some control over their environment “may help combat underlying feelings of helplessness.” In one experiment, Pable remodeled a family’s room in a shelter, providing “drawer-and-bin storage for their possessions, lap desks, privacy curtains around the beds, bulletin boards, and shelving.”

P/C Jill Pable for Citylab.

Before the room upgrades, “the mother felt it was an imposition to ask shelter staff for tape to affix items to the wall.” Allowing residents to display their childrens’ art or family photos is an act of home-making that helps work against the feeling of “placelessness” and allow them to “cultivate a sense of home wherever they are.” These small changes help restore a sense of control over an environment critical to creating an environment of support.

Pable’s team also installed curtains over the lower bunks on the beds, giving the family members an opportunity to create a secluded and safe space. The mother in the study reflected that “My older girl will pull the curtains and read books to her sister. She feels like she has something that belongs to her.” For adults, too; the curtains provided a space to listen to music or read that was secluded from the (often loud) shelter environment.

Pable also provided ample storage space for the family’s possessions. At first, the family piled their belongings onto an unused bunk. Giving the family space to put away their belongings gave them more space to enjoy activities or for the kids to play in the privacy of their room. Most importantly, the act of putting personal belongings away lent a sense of ownership to the room, helping the family establish further control over their environment. Pable concludes “This small, only partially controlled study is not the final word in shelter design. But it certainly suggests that shelter architecture can help families experiencing homelessness by giving them a calm, positive and supportive home base for planning their future.”

Some powerful and important quotes in honor of #BlackHistoryMonth. 💗 Thank you, @helen_hill1010, for the beautiful artwork. ⠀⠀ . . . #chalkboardart #art #pdxart #love

In the office of  StreetRoots (@streetroots), where art by homeless vendors is displayed, creating a sense of place and ownership.

Of course, not all shelters will be able to provide individual rooms like the ones used in Pable’s study. Operating on nonprofit budgets, most shelters opt for the efficiency of open-plan sleeping quarters. And yet, even in this arrangement, there are design tools that can help reduce feelings of crowding: emotional reactions to the fact of a high social-density environment like a shelter. The Design Resources for Homelessness group writes in their report that light-colored rooms are perceived as less crowded than dark rooms. Visual complexity like paintings as well as increasing partitioning and decreasing illumination were also effective in “reducing perceptions of crowding and the resulting sense of stress and discomfort.”

Inside the Division Navigation Center. P/C S.F. Chronicle.

In Portland, crews are soon to break ground on a new shelter in Portland’s Pearl District, occupying an empty lot previously used as a rail yard. The shelter, called Harbor of Hope, is modeled after a successful shelter type pioneered at San Francisco’s Mission Street Navigation Center. The idea of the Navigation Center was to create a “new ‘low-barrier’ shelter model that would let homeless people come in with their partners, pets and belongings, stay 24/7, and get unusually intensive counseling help for housing, drugs, mental illness or whatever else they needed to get stable.” The Navigation Center idea was risky, especially given the higher price tag of running an intensive shelter (the SF Chronicle estimates it may cost twice what other shelters cost to operate) but it has proven itself as a successful blueprint: “57 percent of the nearly 3,000 people who have come through the system got housed.”

Portland State University’s Center for Public Interest Design helped with the design of the sleeping pods used in the Kenton Women’s Village. P/C CPID.

The Navigation Center model gives us a new, tested and proven blueprint for shelter operations. Innovative new models like the Tinyhouse Villages I’ve written about previously give us diverse options for meeting a population with a diverse set of needs. Research by Pable and the Design Resources for Homelessness group provide extremely useful information that we can use to make sure that shelter design provides a stable and supportive environment that encourages perceptions of control and decreases emotional responses like crowding. We now have better tools than ever for alleviating suffering in homeless populations. There is reason to be hopeful.

Footnotes: If you’re a design nerd like myself, it’s worth talking a look at the Design Resources for Homelessness Case Studies. They highlight features of buildings and potential design solutions that are innovative and inspiring; like a mail room in a shelter that gives job-seekers an address to use on applications or for identification paperwork mail. More here.

[gregoryandrew1991]

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[day0one]

Live updates: Trump says he wanted coronavirus testing slowed in grievance-filled speech to unfilled arena      1 hr ago (Trump scraps outdoor speech due to low attendance).

Trump, after boasting about enthusiasm and promising a full house, spoke in an arena in Tulsa on Saturday night with many seats unfilled amid the coronavirus pandemic. Most of his supporters in the 19,000-seat BOK Center were not wearing masks, hours after his campaign had announced that six members of the advance team staffing the event had tested positive for the virus.

In a speech lasting nearly two hours — filled with grievances, falsehoods, and misleading claims — Trump said that because more testing means higher numbers of known coronavirus cases, his direction was to curtail it. “So I said to my people, ‘Slow the testing down,’” he said. A White House official said later the president was “obviously kidding,” but he has previously expressed skepticism about testing, which public health experts say is required to contain the outbreak.

* Trump also downplayed the severity of the virus, fixating on the number of names used for it — and offering one, “Kung Flu,” a racially offensive term.

* There was no massive overflow audience greeting Trump; the area outside the arena had emptied out by early evening, and plans for Trump to address the audience outside were quickly scrapped. The campaign blamed protesters, but there were only scattered efforts to block entrances, which were resolved by police.

* The campaign said quarantine procedures had gone into effect for the infected staff members and those in “immediate contact” with them. Meanwhile, Tulsa County reported 136 new cases Saturday — marking another high for both single-day and average cases — while the state as a whole reported 331 new infections.

* Outside the security perimeter, arguments erupted between protesters and the president’s supporters at street corners near the arena, where they traded cries of “Black lives matter” and “all lives matter.” One protester was arrested at the BOK Center.

10:19 PM: Tulsa mayoral aide resigns over rally handling

A Tulsa mayoral aide resigned Saturday in response to the city’s handling of the president’s campaign rally.

Jack Graham said the decision has been building since the pandemic began, but the lack of enforcement of CDC guidelines at the presidential rally was the last straw.

In the letter, addressed to Bynum and later posted to social media, Graham wrote: “I appreciate the opportunities you have given me over the years, but my heart is telling me that I can no longer effectively support you and the decisions you make for Tulsa.”

Graham told The Post he has been “extremely supportive” of Bynum’s work since starting in his office as an intern just out of college in 2017.

“But I started becoming unsupportive when people kind of just passed the baton along and didn’t want to make a firm decision to adhere to the CDC guidelines or social distancing that any other event like this should deal with,” he said. “Someone told me the basic test for anything is: Are people going to die?"

“In this case, people are going to die.”

Graham said on top of the likely spread of a potentially deadly disease, the city has lost relationships within the community, be it partners, schools, foundations, or activists.

Although some questioned why Graham posted his resignation publicly after submitting it to the mayor, he said he stands by his decision to share.

“In these roles, I don’t get to be heard or get to state my opinion, and at a certain point, I had to stand for myself and where my heart is,” he said.

By: Kelsy Schlotthauer

9:32 PM: Trump says flag burners should be sentenced to a year in prison

President Trump told his supporters at the rally in Tulsa on Saturday that demonstrators who burn American flags should be sentenced to a year in prison.

Setting aside the First Amendment right to free speech, Trump called flag burning a desecration that needed to be stopped. He urged the two Republican U.S. senators from Oklahoma in attendance at the rally, Jim Inhofe and James Lankford, to introduce legislation to make it a criminal offense.

"We should have legislation that if somebody wants to burn the American flag and stomp on it, just burn it, they go to jail for one year,’’ Trump said.

The remarks came during a speech in which he sought to rally his base by stoking the culture wars that have engulfed the nation. He jabbed at the left, demonstrators, and illegal aliens.

Trump criticized NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell for apologizing this month for opposing kneeling during the national anthem. "I like Roger Goodell, but I didn’t like what he said a week ago,’’ Trump said. We will never kneel to our national anthem or our great American flag. We will stand proud and we will stand tall.’’

By: Christopher Rowland

9:19 PM: Trump says he told advisers to slow coronavirus testing in U.S.

President Trump complained that coronavirus testing in the United States — which began later in the pandemic than it did in other countries — is driving up the numbers of confirmed infections, and he said he told his advisers to test people more slowly, even though experts agree that robust testing is the best way to control the pandemic.

“Here’s the bad part: When you do testing to that extent you’re going to find more people, you’re going to find more cases,'' he said. “So I said to my people, slow the testing down, please. They test and they test.''

Trump has said before that he’s skeptical about the importance of testing. But a White House official told The Washington Post Trump was joking.

Trump called the novel coronavirus “Kung flu” during his speech in Tulsa, using a racist term to allude to the origin of the outbreak in Wuhan, China, as he took aim at some of his favorite targets on the left and the media. "It’s a disease that without question has more names than any disease,'' he said. “I can name Kung flu. I can name 19 different versions of them.''

Also calling the disease “Chinese virus,'' he boasted about stopping travel from China earlier in the pandemic and said the United States has tested 25 million people, which he said was more than other countries.

In March, senior White House adviser Kellyanne Conway said it was “highly offensive” to refer to coronavirus as “Kung flu.”

Drawing hearty cheers from his supporters, Trump also denounced protesters and political leaders who are pursuing the removal of Confederate statues across the South, calling it a “desecration.'”

“The unhinged left-wing mob is trying to vandalize our history, desecrating our monuments, our beautiful monuments,'' he said. “This cruel campaign of censorship and exclusion violates everything we hold dear as Americans. They want to demolish our heritage so they can impose their new oppressive regime in its place.”

By: Christopher Rowland

9:17 PM: Downtown Tulsa businesses close early

Downtown Tulsa is closed for business as the sun sets and the rally gets underway. Block after block of restaurants, bars and storefronts closed early, many with windows boarded up. Signs in doors explained to patrons that they closed early for the day, often at 3 or 4 p.m., as a safety precaution, urging customers to return again soon.

Dave Sopark, 37, the owner of a Jinya Ramen franchise, supervised his employee boarding up his restaurant around 7 p.m., later than most.

“I wasn’t going to do it up till last night,” Sopack said. “I heard of other places — even my neighbors here —closing and that made me think harder about the safety of my staff.”

A Jinya employee said he was concerned about people bringing guns inside, and Sopack said he heard that bad actors would be coming to town. “But the reports say the [BOK Center] is only like half-full,” Sopark said, “so maybe it won’t be as bad as people are saying.”

By: Bret Schulte

8:54 PM: Protesters gather 30 minutes from the arena

a group of people on a field: Peaceful protestors gather in Veterans Park to protest Donald Trump's rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, on Saturday, June 20, 2020.

At Veterans Park, about a 30-minute walk from the BOK Center, a multicultural group of hundreds gathered to hear civil rights protest veterans, new activists, musicians, and spoken word artists as the sunset on Saturday afternoon. The Rally Against Hate was organized by Tykebrean Cheshire, who said she started a nonprofit called Peaceful Rally Tulsa 10 days ago.

“That 8 minutes and 46 seconds changed the whole world. It made people think, why have I not been listening,” said Cheshire, 21, who is black and Hispanic, referring to the police killing of George Floyd. “Some people thought, that could’ve been my son. And others thought, that couldn’t have been my son. And they were both right.”

She says she quit her job at Target and dedicated her adult life to peaceful organizing. The distance from the BOK Center was intentional.

“Our biggest thing was to make sure people felt safe tonight,” Cheshire said. “Going to the BOK Center didn’t feel like a safe option. I wanted to do the old-school [Martin Luther King] thing. We’re able to connect with each other, and that’s the most important thing today.

By: Robert Klemko

8:42 PM: Trump blames media, protesters, for empty seats at his Tulsa event

a close up of a blue wall: A supporter sits alone in the top sections of seating as Vice President Mike Pence speaks before President Donald J. Trump arrives for a "Make America Great Again!" rally in Tulsa. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post)© Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post/TWP A supporter sits alone in the top sections of seating as Vice President Mike Pence speaks before President Donald J. Trump arrives for a "Make America Great Again!" rally in Tulsa. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post) Before an arena with a large number of empty seats in Tulsa, President Trump launched his rally Saturday night by taking aim at the media and demonstrators outside and launched into a list of accomplishments of his first three years in office, starting with Supreme Court appointments and increased military spending.

“You are warriors. … We had some very bad people outside. They were doing bad things,” Trump said, seeming to blame the media for the light showing at his widely anticipated campaign event.

Of the media, he said, “I’ve been watching the fake news for weeks now, and everything is negative: Don’t go, don’t come, don’t do anything.”

Trump boasted about getting Supreme Court Justices Neil M. Gorsuch and Brett M. Kavanaugh onto the bench, but the crowd gave a few boos at the mention of Gorsuch, who provided a key vote this week to prevent discrimination against gay and transgender people in the workplace.

“I stand before you today to declare the silent majority is stronger than ever before. Five months from now, we’re going to defeat sleepy Joe Biden,” Trump said. “We’re going to stop the radical left. We’re going to build a future of safety and opportunity for Americans of every race, color, religion and creed.”

By: Christopher Rowland

8:35 PM: Photos: Tensions rise at Trump rally in Tulsa

a group of people that are standing in the street: A Tulsa police officer clears the road as Sincere Terry, 18, leads counterprotesters outside the rally site. Next Slide Full screen 1/4 SLIDES © Amanda Voisard/for The Washington Post A Tulsa police officer clears the road as Sincere Terry, 18, leads counterprotesters outside the rally site. See more photos from the Tulsa rally

By: Washington Post Staff

8:35 PM: Woman in ‘I can't breathe’ shirt details arrest

Clad in a mask and hood, wearing a shirt that said “I can’t breathe," Sheila Buck sat defiant in the street.

Moment before, Buck, a 62-year-old Tulsa resident, and Catholic school art teacher, had wielded a ticket to enter the rally Saturday afternoon, she told The Washington Post.

She said she made it past the barricades but was then stopped by who she said were federal authorities in plainclothes. They told her she could not enter and did not provide a reason, she said, but she thinks the message on her shirt was the reason.

“‘You’re not invited,‘” she said they told her. ‘“We don’t want you here.’”

She said she left the area but was confronted by police in the blocked-off street. The officers appeared excited at the prospect of arresting someone, she said, and she began to pray.

The moment was captured live on television as Buck — wearing a hood inspired by the fictional, Tulsa-set HBO program “The Watchmen” — refused to stand up.

“Somebody has to do this,” she said

Two officers dragged her away on charges of trespassing and resisting arrest, she said. She was taken to a hospital after her blood pressure spiked in the jail, and she was administered fluids before returning, she said. She was released hours later.

The plainclothes law enforcement took her phone, she said, which she still hasn’t received.

“I wasn’t loud, I didn’t have a sign, I just showed up with a mask and my T-shirt,” Buck said.

“I’m just done. I wanted to say this is not okay,” she said. “Our country is now divided and we have got to stand for what’s right.”

Another demonstrator, Phillip Rufkahr of Missouri, was arrested after he was ordered to stop loitering near the entrance. He was booked and held in lieu of a $500 bond, according to an arrest report.

Kelsy Schlotthauer contributed to this report.

By: Ziva Branstetter and Alex Horton

8:16 PM: Black Lives Matter activists criticize Trump, Pence for rally

Black Lives Matter protesters took President Trump to task for hosting a political rally in Tulsa, the site of the worst racial violence in U.S. history, on Juneteenth weekend. Black activists said the rally stoked racial tensions in the city.

In the district of Greenwood, black leaders rushed to cover up Black Wall Street memorials hours before a scheduled visit by Vice President Pence on Saturday. The memorials honor the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre. They also pay tribute to the Tulsa community of Greenwood, one of the richest black communities in the country before the 1921 massacre.

Activists said they did not want Pence to use the historic district for a political event.

“I just think his visit is an opportunity for a photo op,” said community activist and educator Kristi Williams. “We say, ‘Don’t come for a photo op when you have not come to sit down and talk with black leaders in the community.’ We are beyond symbolism.”

Read more here.

By: DeNeen L. Brown

8:11 PM: Pence asks for four more years for Trump

Vice President Pence took the stage a little after 7:30 ET and lavished praise on the president and said that, because of Trump’s leadership, the coronavirus is close to being “in the past.”

“The transition to greatness has begun. And despite the fear mongering of some in the media, the truth is all across this country hospitalizations are down, our losses are declining and every day we’re one day closer to putting the coronavirus in the past,” Pence said.

He said Trump needs four more years to finish what they started.“He’s a man who says what he means and means what he says,” Pence said."We will make America great again," Pence said. “Again.”

The lower bowl of the arena was largely full, as was the floor, while the upper bowl of the arena was largely empty.

By: Colby Itkowitz and Josh Dawsey

7:43 PM: In Greenwood, residents gather to celebrate and protest

In Greenwood, music is playing, families are gathering; volunteers are handing out free bottled water and fruit. Standing in the shade near the Black Wall Street massacre memorial, Adam Crawford, 24, stood with a shotgun over his shoulder, watching a growing and light-hearted crowd gather across the street from the Vernon AME Church.

Crawford is part of a private security team of about a half dozen here to protect the church. A self-described Army brat and a welder, he moved to Tulsa three years ago and said he fell in love with the community. He described the Juneteenth celebration yesterday on this same spot as joyous. Now, he’s watchful, alert. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “I’m staying right here to protect this land.”

Sharon Erby, a 59-year-old native of the neighborhood, sat with friends under a Chinese maple across from the church, which was set ablaze during the 1921 massacre of black residents by a white mob. Spread in front of her was a field of makeshift signs written with marker on white poster board, with messages like “DIVEST IN POLICE INVEST IN PUBLIC HEALTH.”

Erby and her friends arrived at 10 a.m. with no plan in mind other to continue to celebrate Juneteenth, a celebration of freedom from slavery. Soon, they found themselves in the church social hall, writing up the signs.

“These are expressions of what people feeling,” Erby said. “This is what was in their hearts.”

Sitting in the shade next to her, Cassandra Cozart, 58, leaned in to clarify: “It’s cause we don’t want Donald Trump here.”

They stuck the signs in the yard across the street from the church, which bears a large memorial plaque, akin to those erected for those killed in foreign wars, with the names of the dead from the race massacre. This morning, Erby and other volunteers draped that large stone slab in a tarp and taped across it a sign reading: “This is not a photo-op. This is sacred ground.”

Erby says her group covered it up this morning “to prevent Trump supporters from coming up here and taking pictures of our monuments and take a part of our history when they don’t want to be a part of it.” Volunteers also blacked out swaths of the Black Wall Street mural that adorns part of the overpass retaining wall, a popular spot for selfies.

At the church, the pastor Robert Turner worked in his office behind locked doors guarded by a small cadre of private security with semiautomatic weapons. “This church is basically the last thing left on Greenwood Avenue,” Turner said. “With Trump coming to town, I don’t want to let any of that neo-Confederate crowd coming to finish the job.”

State Sen. Kevin Matthews, who represents the Greenwood area of Tulsa, said that Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt originally invited the president to visit Greenwood on his trip to Tulsa, when the rally was scheduled for Friday, the celebration of Juneteenth. Matthews was asked to host the president.

The president would have visited OneOK Field, home to the minor league Tulsa Drillers, and the future site of Living Greenwood, a proposed museum and educational center focused on the massacre and Black Wall Street. “I had a talk with the governor that would not be a good idea,” Matthews said in an interview.

“Greenwood would have to be shut down,” Matthews said. “It was disruptive for the Juneteenth event.”

Read more here.

By: Bret Schulte

7:01 PM: With no massive overflow audience, campaign blames protesters

a group of people walking on a city street: An outdoor stage at the rally in Tulsa. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post)© Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post An outdoor stage at the rally in Tulsa. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post) On June 15, Trump celebrated on Twitter that nearly a million people had requested tickets for his rally in Tulsa. His campaign manager, Brad Parscale, touted similar figures.

The campaign was so intent on involving those who could not make it into the 19,000-seat arena that preparations were made for the president to address attendees outside as well. Sen. James Lankford (R-Okla.) told reporters earlier Saturday that the outdoor remarks would be a chance for supporters fearful about an indoor gathering to take part nonetheless.

But an overflow audience failed to materialize, as the area outside the arena emptied out and plans for an outdoor address were scrapped. Inside the stadium, the program began with a swath of seats still unfilled. The upper bowl of the stadium was almost entirely empty with less than an hour before Trump was set to appear. The lower bowl was mostly full but with sections of empty seats. The floor was of the arena was about two-thirds full.

The campaign blamed protesters, though there was little evidence the president’s fans were deterred by backlash to his visit.

“Sadly, protestors interfered with supporters, even blocking access to the metal detectors, which prevented people from entering the rally,” said Tim Murtaugh, a campaign spokesman. “Radical protestors, coupled with a relentless onslaught from the media, attempted to frighten off the president’s supporters. We are proud of the thousands who stuck it out.”

Tulsa police erected metal fencing and other barriers as a part of a “secure zone” around the venue. One protester was arrested Saturday at the request of the Trump campaign for refusing to leave the barricaded area.

"There's not a million people like they said," said Erin Taylor, 33, as she left the rally site with her parents.

"We've been here for a few hours," Jeff Marlow, 68, explained. "We're hot, and tired, and thirsty."

The space outside the BOK Center had been laid out for a large crowd. A stage was set for a presidential speech, with a lectern in front of an American flag and behind protective glass. Fans had been set up alongside the path to the arena, which was empty apart from foot traffic to the arena.

“They’re being wasted here,” said Cindy Marlow, 67.

By: Isaac Stanley-Becker and David Weigel

6:36 PM: Eric Trump shares a QAnon meme on Instagram

Eric Trump, the president’s 36-year-old son, on Saturday took to Instagram to drum up support for his father’s Tulsa rally by posting a meme that referred to the QAnon conspiracy theory.

He deleted the post a short time later.

Its meaning was not subtle. “Who’s ready for the Trump Rally tonight?” read the text, set against a giant “Q” and an American flag. It also included the rallying cry “WWG1WGA,” which is a popular tag for QAnon posts. It refers to the motto, “Where we go one, we go all.”

The theory, which has moved from the far reaches of the online image board 4chan to the heart of Trump’s base, holds that the president is battling a secret plot involving the deep state, Democrats and child sex traffickers. Its adherents believe someone using the name Q — in reference to the top security clearance — is feeding them intelligence.

Though the Instagram post was deleted, it marked a major coup for followers of QAnon. Among their central aims is getting Trump and those around him to acknowledge their worldview.

By: Isaac Stanley-Becker

6:31 PM: Trump campaign says president won’t speak to outdoor crowd

The Trump campaign told reporters that it had canceled plans for the president to speak to an overflow crowd outside the arena, but didn’t say why, stating only that, “outside programming is over.”

The campaign had planned hours of entertainment for people who couldn’t get inside, calling it the “Great American Comeback Celebration.” Trump was scheduled to deliver brief remarks there around 7 p.m. ET before heading to the arena.

But with less than two hours before Trump was expected, the outdoor celebration was sparsely attended.

It seems Trump will instead go directly to the arena for his rally, where he’s slated to begin speaking at 8 p.m.

By: David Weigel

5:15 PM: Protesters turned away at gate outside arena

a group of people standing in front of a crowd: Sincere Terry and other protesters try to enter the gate to the rally. (Amanda Voisard for The Washington Post)© Amanda Voisard/for The Washington Post Sincere Terry and other protesters try to enter the gate to the rally. (Amanda Voisard for The Washington Post) A small group of protesters tried twice to get into the arena, shutting down one gate in the fence around the arena.

A group of state troopers in riot gear arrived while the group of protesters mingled with Trump supporters trying to get into the rally. The police made space between the groups of people and the gate as officials worked to reopen access to the arena for those attending the rally.

Sincere Terry, 18, a pre-law student at the University of Central Oklahoma, was one of the leaders of the group. Tulsa police told her and several supporters it was up to the private security group contracted by the Trump campaign whether they gained access. Security turned them away a second time after police cleared the area and reopened the gates.

“It’s disrespectful for him to be here right after Juneteenth,” said Terry, who had a ticket to the rally. “I’m not surprised by how we were treated. This is America. It’s sickening. We’re still getting lynched in Houston in 2020 and instead of protecting us, the national guard is out here in Tulsa. This is being black in America. You get used to it or you don’t, but this generation is going to put an end to it.“

Police continued to push people back away from the BOK Center.

By: Arelis R. Hernández and Robert Klemko

4:46 PM: Before Trump rally, Biden draws attention to 1921 Tulsa massacre

Without mentioning President Trump or the Tulsa rally, Joe Biden and his campaign drew attention Saturday to one of the worst episodes of racial violence in American history that occurred in the city in 1921, just a few blocks from the BOK Center, where Trump was scheduled to speak.

“The Tulsa Race Massacre is one of the worst incidents of racial violence in our history — and it has been erased from our national consciousness for far too long,” wrote Biden on Twitter. “It’s time we reckon with what happened in 1921.”

Biden tweeted a video produced by his campaign about the massacre, in which a white mob marched into a Tulsa neighborhood known as Black Wall Street, killing and setting buildings ablaze. Historians estimate as many as 300 black people were killed.

Symone Sanders, a senior Biden campaign adviser, narrated the campaign’s video, in which she recalls history books omitting information about the massacre.

“I didn’t read about it, because for decades, white leaders worked to erase it from history,” says Sanders, who is black. She added, “It’s clear that lots of people could use a lesson the history of Tulsa, Oklahoma.”

Later Saturday night, Trump said that he had directed the Department of the Interior to add a memorial at the site of the Tulsa massacre – the John Hope Franklin Reconciliation Park — to the African American Civil Rights Network. Trump signed legislation establishing the Civil Rights Network into law in 2018. It encompasses sites and monuments across the country that were vital in the struggle for civil rights.

By: Christopher Rowland and Sean Sullivan

4:32 PM: Trump supporter, Black Lives Matter protester discuss divisiveness

a group of people looking at a cell phone: Dennis Johns and Nick Palmer greet each other in Tulsa. (Amanda Voisard for The Washington Post)© Amanda Voisard/for The Washington Post Dennis Johns and Nick Palmer greet each other in Tulsa. (Amanda Voisard for The Washington Post) After marchers walked north and south on Boulder Avenue, the group dissolved into small clusters of conversation in the street between MAGA-hat wearing Trump supporters and Black Lives Matters protesters.

Dennis Johns of Topeka, Kan., spent several minutes talking cordially to Nick Palmer, an Oklahoma resident. Johns had on a Black Lives Matter shirt and fitted cap and Palmer wore a Trump flag as a cape and a Make America Great Again hat. He also proudly showed his shirt saying, “Don’t trust Infowars!”, referring to the site run by Alex Jones.

Palmer, who described himself as more moderate than some of those screaming through bullhorns, said the nation needs to come to the middle — or at least near it.

Johns agreed but challenged: “But we are so divided right now.”

They spent their conversation trying to find common ground and understand each other’s point.

“I came here to try to understand,” Johns said. The president “is not helping at all.”

“And you think the media is helping at all?” Palmer countered.

“No, not them either,” Johns replied.

They said they both felt like they were being forced to choose a side in a culture war and lamented that most of the debates happening in the street were not happening in the same respectful tone as theirs.

Palmer, who works in construction, explained that he supports Donald Trump because the economy has done so well that “everyone is successful.”

I just want to get back to everyone winning again,” he said.

“Right now, black people are not winning,” Johns countered.

Palmer shook his head as he drank his Modelo beer nestled inside a Trump coozie.

He asked Johns what needs to happen.

The Kansas man began to outline a few policy proposals, including laws that improve police training and require higher education standards. They disagreed on the facts and when the issue of defunding came up, Palmer said that he disagrees with the message but that the idea of restraining municipal budgets appeals to him as a fiscal conservative.

The debate stayed polite and ended with Johns saying, “We need to do better, okay?”

Palmer raised his beer to that.

By: Arelis R. Hernández

3:56 PM: Protesters aim to join Greenwood District to downtown

About half a mile from the crowds gathered outside the arena, a small group of protesters formed at the Center of the Universe, a popular Tulsa landmark.

Activist and Tulsan Eli J. Guerrero, who's trans, queer, indigenous disabled and has a father who immigrated from Mexico, said, "Trump being here is an affront to my whole entire family and really every facet of my life."

They organized the group with the goal of lining two bridges that connect the Greenwood District to downtown with protesters wielding signs and ready to engage in meaningful conversation.

“Specifically talking about how they were affected by this administration, whether it be through legislation or policy or just comments that the president has made,” Guerrero, 29, said. “He has affected so many people’s lives on such a large scale. It’s real easy to hate what you don’t understand, but it’s real hard to look at someone in the face who’s holding someone in the face saying here’s how your vote is not just a check mark on a ballot. You literally have peoples’ lives in your hands when you vote this way or that way. If you vote this way, here’s who you hurt.”

By: Kelsy Schlotthauer

3:28 PM: Black Lives Matter activists, Trump supporters face off near arena

a group of people standing in front of a crowd posing for the camera: Protesters march in Tulsa on Saturday. (Amanda Voisard for The Washington Post)© Amanda Voisard/for The Washington Post Protesters march in Tulsa on Saturday. (Amanda Voisard for The Washington Post) Black Lives Matters activists and Trump supporters clashed in the middle of 4th street in Tulsa — mere feet from the barricades that mark the safety zone where troops and police are guarding the entrance of the rally.

The group of young activists began chanting “Black Lives Matter” and using a megaphone shouted down a rallygoer talking them down about abortion and Jesus. The swelling confrontation attracted other Trump supporters heading into the entrance area, screaming back and denouncing the groups mantra.

Trump supporters faced off across Boulder Avenue with protesters shouting “Black Lives Matter!” Tulsa police stood between the two factions and ordered people out of the street. David Morledge, 36, of Fayetteville, Ark., stood in the street and challenged an officer who ordered him to move to the sidewalk to arrest him. Morledge held a sign reading “Dissent is the Highest form of patriotism.” The officer stepped back and moved on.

“Sometimes we have to vote and speak with our bodies,” Morledge said, “and unless we expose ourselves to real risk and step out of our homes where we we can say whatever we please, I’m not sure we’re going to affect real change. I’m a white guy so I don’t face these risks every day, so I’m willing to take on some risk today to show some solidarity.”

By: Robert Klemko and Arelis R. Hernández

2:25 PM: Six members of Trump campaign advance team test positive for coronavirus

Six members of the advance team staffing President Trump’s rally here Saturday tested positive for the coronavirus, underscoring concerns about holding a massive indoor event in a city where cases are spiking.

The campaign said quarantine procedures had gone into effect for the infected staff members and those in “immediate contact" with them.

Doctors and public health officials were already fearful about possible spread from the large gathering. Their concern was heightened by the announcement that members of the advance team, who typically work closely with security and contractors, had been sickened.

“It’s another demonstration that super-spreaders can be alive and well if you don’t use prevention measures, which we know work, including masking, distancing and hand hygiene,” said Jay Bhatt, a physician in Chicago and former chief medical officer at the American Hospital Association. “One person can be a cause of significant transmission. Looking at six on an advance team, there could be significant spread.”

Read the full statement from Tim Murtaugh, a spokesman for the Trump campaign: "Per safety protocols, campaign staff are tested for COVID-19 before events. Six members of the advance team tested positive out of hundreds of tests performed, and quarantine procedures were immediately implemented. No COVID-positive staffers or anyone in immediate contact will be at today’s rally or near attendees and elected officials. As previously announced, all rally attendees are given temperature checks before going through security, at which point they are given wristbands, face masks and hand sanitizer.”

By: Isaac Stanley-Becker

1:24 PM: Oklahoma reports more than 300 new cases in advance of Trump rally

Oklahoma reported 331 new coronavirus infections Saturday afternoon. The new cases put the state’s rolling average at 281, setting the average high record for the eighth day in a row.

Tulsa County reported 136 new cases – another high for both single-day and average cases, which now stand at 98 up from an average of 51 new cases a day one week ago.

Statewide, Oklahoma’s rolling average is up nearly 94 percentage compared to a week ago. The decision to host a mass indoor gathering sparked concerns it might increase the spread of the highly contagious virus. The rally contravenes social distancing guidelines issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and endorsed by members of the White House’s coronavirus task force.

On Friday, the Oklahoma Supreme Court rejected a bid by local residents, business owners and others to require the 19,000-seat venue, the BOK Center, to adhere to those guidelines. The Trump campaign said it would check rallygoers’ temperatures and hand out masks. But masks will not be required and attendees will not be kept six feet apart. Since the start of the pandemic, Oklahoma has reported more than 10,000 infections and more than 360 deaths, according to Washington Post tracking.

By: Brittany Shammas

12:40 PM: Woman wearing 'I can’t breathe’ shirt arrested

a man and a woman taking a selfie in a car: Tulsa police officers arrest a protester at the arena on Saturday. (Mike Simons/Tulsa World via AP)© Mike Simons/AP Tulsa police officers arrest a protester at the arena on Saturday. (Mike Simons/Tulsa World via AP) One person was arrested at the BOK Center, a private venue leased by the Trump campaign. Shortly before noon, the campaign directed Tulsa police officers to remove Sheila Buck, a city resident who said she had a ticket to the event and had sat down in protest within the barricaded zone. She was wearing a shirt that read, “I can’t breathe," among the final words uttered by George Floyd as a police officer in Minneapolis knelt on his neck.

By: Arelis R. Hernández

12:35 PM: Sen. Lankford joins many not wearing masks outside rally

a group of people standing in front of a crowd posing for the camera: Supporters hold up signs in the BOK Center on Saturday. (Win McNamee/Getty Images)© Win Mcnamee/Getty Images Supporters hold up signs in the BOK Center on Saturday. (Win McNamee/Getty Images) Most police officers, National Guard soldiers, food vendors and the vast majority of people in line chose not to wear face coverings, though Trump-branded masks dotted the crowd.

Sen. James Lankford (R-Okla.) said he and his wife, Cindy, underwent rapid covid-19 tests to ensure they would not spread the virus as they moved without masks through the crowds. They walked the downtown streets surrounding the stadium and spoke with those in line after delivering doughnuts and juice to volunteers earlier in the morning.

Lankford said the state encouraged attendees to get tested at any of the 80 sites around Oklahoma leading up to the event. Those with health issues could follow online, and those who had concerns about being in the enclosed arena could attend the outdoor event, where Trump will be speaking live before he heads inside.

By: Kelsy Schlotthauer

10:01 AM: Trump supporters gather at BOK Center ahead of rally

Margene Dunivant and her son Christian Lynch, both of Tulsa, sat on the edge of the crowd, taking in the scene.

“Everybody here is just full-on American and American Dream and hard-working, and just believes in everything America,” said Dunivant, 52. “Nowadays, it’s like you put on a Trump shirt and you’re considered racist, and it’s just wrong. We’re good people, and we love everybody."

Susan Schoonover and her husband Brian said they woke up at 3 a.m. to drive the 15 miles from their home in Glenpool, Okla. Standing in line to see Trump, Schoonover sparkled in a tutu, tube socks and a red, white and blue head piece, clad for her first Trump rally. The pair purchased a cardboard cutout of Trump from Amazon to display in line, and they said it has been a hit with other attendees.

The parents of four left their children at home “just in case,” they said, citing recent unrest in cities across the country. As for the pandemic, they did not discount the threat of the coronavirus and planned to take some precautions. If they were to contract the virus, however, “it’s not a death sentence,” they said, because both are in their early 30s. Older people with underlying medical conditions are especially vulnerable, but young adults have also been badly sickened, including by an inflammatory syndrome linked to covid-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus.Robin Wilson, 64, said she was not concerned about contracting the virus inside the stadium despite a heart condition that put her in a wheelchair two years ago.

“I’m here because I love my president,” said Wilson, who used to work in insurance, “and I feel that he’s misrepresented by the mainstream media. And I believe that this is history in the making today, and I wanted to be a part of it.”

Brian Clothier, 61, found a more eye-catching way to illustrate his view of possible risks from the coronavirus. He wore an adult diaper over his pants, where he placed a sign saying the underwear would “stop the spread,” in a reference to the disputed notion that flatulence can be linked to coronavirus transmission.

[gordonwilliamsweb]

‘We Miss Them All So Much’: Grandparents Ache As The COVID Exile Grinds On

Back home in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, Richard and Denise Victor would get to see their four grandchildren almost every day. One set of kids lives around the block; the others are half an hour away, all close enough for frequent visits and sleepovers.

“With the younger ones, we have a routine of stories when they spend the night,” Richard Victor said.

But when the coronavirus hit, the couple were at their vacation home in Florida and, suddenly, it wasn’t safe to leave. They’ve been sheltering there for three months, missing the grandkids, struggling with an absence that FaceTime just can’t fill.

“It’s very, very difficult,” said Victor, a 70-year-old lawyer and founder of the nonprofit Grandparents Rights Organization. “You have to try your best because we don’t know when this will be over with.”

Of all the hardships imposed by the coronavirus pandemic, few are as poignant as the reshaping of relationships between children and the grandparents who love them.

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Across America, where more than 70 million people are grandparents, efforts to prevent infection in older people, who are most at risk of serious COVID-19 illness, have meant self-imposed exile for many. At the opposite extreme, some grandparents have taken over daily child care duties to help adult children with no choice but to work.

“All the grandparents in the country are aching,” said Madonna Harrington Meyer, a sociology professor at Syracuse University in New York. “Some are aching because they can’t see their grandchildren — and some are aching because they can’t get away from them.”

Both situations are the result of the fast-moving pandemic, which forced families to decide quickly whether to isolate with grandparents “inside the bubble or out,” Harrington Meyer said. Three months later, many are still grappling with those decisions — and worrying about an uncertain future.

“I think we all have the exact same set of issues,” said Harrington Meyer, author of the 2014 book “Grandmothers at Work: Juggling Families and Jobs.” “What will August bring? All of us need to be prepared for this to be fluctuating.”

For grandparents separated from their grandchildren, the risks posed by gathering in person haven’t changed, said Dr. Krutika Kuppalli, an affiliated clinical assistant professor of medicine in the infectious diseases division at Stanford University. Rates of serious illness and death caused by COVID-19 remain much higher in older people than the young, and children can easily spread the disease.

“It’s hard to know if a child has been exposed or whether they have asymptomatic infection,” Kuppalli said. “I would definitely recommend staying away or definitely continuing to wear masks and perform good hand hygiene.”

At the same time, maintaining a connection with grandkids is important for the well-being of everyone, said Dr. Preeti Malani, chief health officer and professor of medicine at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.

“There’s an incredible health benefit to them to interact with their grandparents,” she said. “There’s nobody who loves children like their grandparents.”

In Highland Beach, Florida, Victor said he and wife Denise, who’s in her 60s, have relied heavily on Zoom, FaceTime and videos to stay connected to their grandchildren. Still, it’s been difficult. Since February, the two older boys, ages 10 and 13, have gotten taller and better at basketball. The baby has gone from crawling to walking. And their precocious 4-year-old grandson has paid close attention to the passing time.

“He let me know I’d been gone long enough that he’s not 4½ anymore. He’s 4¾,” Victor said. “We miss them all so much.”

Richard and Denise Victor of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, haven’t seen their grandkids since February. In happier times — before the coronavirus pandemic — they had regular visits with grandsons (from left) Daren Cosola, Stirling Victor, Davis Victor and Lucas Cosola.(Courtesy of the Victor family)

Some grandparents have calculated that the need to care for their families outweighs the fear of infection. Fran Layton, 73, a lawyer who lives in Berkeley, California, rushed to pick up her 2-year-old grandson in San Francisco in late March when his newborn sister arrived earlier than planned.

“My son called and said, ‘Mom, they’re going to induce. Can you get here?’ I did not hesitate,” Layton recalled.

She kept the toddler for a couple of days at that time. A month later, she started caring for him at her home a few days each week so his parents could juggle work and the new baby.

“He would take his naps in a stroller in the afternoon,” Layton said. “I walked the Berkeley Hills while he napped. It got me my exercise.”

Recently, Layton’s son and daughter-in-law decided to return to using their son’s nanny. Layton agreed with that decision, but also knew that widened the circle of infection risk. For now, she is choosing to stay away and doesn’t know when she’ll be together again with her grandson — or her new granddaughter.

“I was a mess when he left,” she said. “It’s sadness that we all feel forced apart with children and grandchildren.”

Some grandparents continue to see their grandchildren in person, finding ways to stay apart while still being together. “The outdoors is safer than the indoors, in general,” said Malani, the University of Michigan professor. “To me, a walk in a park, without a play structure, without other kids around, is OK.”

About 4% of grandparents live with their grandchildren, so staying away isn’t an option.

As of mid-May, Beth Kashner has joined that group. Her daughter’s family, including an 11-year-old granddaughter and 10-year-old grandson, relocated from Brooklyn to Kashner’s large Seattle home “while normal life is on hold,” or at least for the summer.

“They even brought their two cats,” said Kashner, 73. “I’m really happy that everyone will be part of the same safe community.”

Kashner already lived less than a mile from her four other grandchildren, who range in age from 3 to 10. For weeks, she saw them only from afar. Now, the whole family is gathering. It may be risky, but they’re taking pains to stay as safe as possible, she said.

“We did just go to the park wearing masks and trying to keep our distance,” she said.

For those who must be physically close to their grandchildren, there are ways to reduce the risk. Frequent hand-washing and sanitizing of high-touch surfaces is essential. Avoid contact with those outside the household. Masks and gloves can help.

And it’s not just the little ones. Adult grandchildren must consider carefully how to visit their grandparents, too. Malani recently took her family to visit her 97-year-old grandmother, Haridevi Malani, at home.

“It was a bit of a dilemma,” she said. “But I had a need to go visit her.”

Until a treatment or vaccine for the coronavirus is available, every interaction will be fraught with questions, she said. Going forward, families will need to weigh risks and benefits.

“We’re not going to have a situation where we can mitigate the risk to nothing,” Malani said. “It’s about how much risk you’re willing to take.”

‘We Miss Them All So Much’: Grandparents Ache As The COVID Exile Grinds On published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[stephenmccull]

‘We Miss Them All So Much’: Grandparents Ache As The COVID Exile Grinds On

Back home in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, Richard and Denise Victor would get to see their four grandchildren almost every day. One set of kids lives around the block; the others are half an hour away, all close enough for frequent visits and sleepovers.

“With the younger ones, we have a routine of stories when they spend the night,” Richard Victor said.

But when the coronavirus hit, the couple were at their vacation home in Florida and, suddenly, it wasn’t safe to leave. They’ve been sheltering there for three months, missing the grandkids, struggling with an absence that FaceTime just can’t fill.

“It’s very, very difficult,” said Victor, a 70-year-old lawyer and founder of the nonprofit Grandparents Rights Organization. “You have to try your best because we don’t know when this will be over with.”

Of all the hardships imposed by the coronavirus pandemic, few are as poignant as the reshaping of relationships between children and the grandparents who love them.

Email Sign-Up

Subscribe to KHN’s free Morning Briefing.

Sign Up

Please confirm your email address below:

Sign Up

Across America, where more than 70 million people are grandparents, efforts to prevent infection in older people, who are most at risk of serious COVID-19 illness, have meant self-imposed exile for many. At the opposite extreme, some grandparents have taken over daily child care duties to help adult children with no choice but to work.

“All the grandparents in the country are aching,” said Madonna Harrington Meyer, a sociology professor at Syracuse University in New York. “Some are aching because they can’t see their grandchildren — and some are aching because they can’t get away from them.”

Both situations are the result of the fast-moving pandemic, which forced families to decide quickly whether to isolate with grandparents “inside the bubble or out,” Harrington Meyer said. Three months later, many are still grappling with those decisions — and worrying about an uncertain future.

“I think we all have the exact same set of issues,” said Harrington Meyer, author of the 2014 book “Grandmothers at Work: Juggling Families and Jobs.” “What will August bring? All of us need to be prepared for this to be fluctuating.”

For grandparents separated from their grandchildren, the risks posed by gathering in person haven’t changed, said Dr. Krutika Kuppalli, an affiliated clinical assistant professor of medicine in the infectious diseases division at Stanford University. Rates of serious illness and death caused by COVID-19 remain much higher in older people than the young, and children can easily spread the disease.

“It’s hard to know if a child has been exposed or whether they have asymptomatic infection,” Kuppalli said. “I would definitely recommend staying away or definitely continuing to wear masks and perform good hand hygiene.”

At the same time, maintaining a connection with grandkids is important for the well-being of everyone, said Dr. Preeti Malani, chief health officer and professor of medicine at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.

“There’s an incredible health benefit to them to interact with their grandparents,” she said. “There’s nobody who loves children like their grandparents.”

In Highland Beach, Florida, Victor said he and wife Denise, who’s in her 60s, have relied heavily on Zoom, FaceTime and videos to stay connected to their grandchildren. Still, it’s been difficult. Since February, the two older boys, ages 10 and 13, have gotten taller and better at basketball. The baby has gone from crawling to walking. And their precocious 4-year-old grandson has paid close attention to the passing time.

“He let me know I’d been gone long enough that he’s not 4½ anymore. He’s 4¾,” Victor said. “We miss them all so much.”

Richard and Denise Victor of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, haven’t seen their grandkids since February. In happier times — before the coronavirus pandemic — they had regular visits with grandsons (from left) Daren Cosola, Stirling Victor, Davis Victor and Lucas Cosola.(Courtesy of the Victor family)

Some grandparents have calculated that the need to care for their families outweighs the fear of infection. Fran Layton, 73, a lawyer who lives in Berkeley, California, rushed to pick up her 2-year-old grandson in San Francisco in late March when his newborn sister arrived earlier than planned.

“My son called and said, ‘Mom, they’re going to induce. Can you get here?’ I did not hesitate,” Layton recalled.

She kept the toddler for a couple of days at that time. A month later, she started caring for him at her home a few days each week so his parents could juggle work and the new baby.

“He would take his naps in a stroller in the afternoon,” Layton said. “I walked the Berkeley Hills while he napped. It got me my exercise.”

Recently, Layton’s son and daughter-in-law decided to return to using their son’s nanny. Layton agreed with that decision, but also knew that widened the circle of infection risk. For now, she is choosing to stay away and doesn’t know when she’ll be together again with her grandson — or her new granddaughter.

“I was a mess when he left,” she said. “It’s sadness that we all feel forced apart with children and grandchildren.”

Some grandparents continue to see their grandchildren in person, finding ways to stay apart while still being together. “The outdoors is safer than the indoors, in general,” said Malani, the University of Michigan professor. “To me, a walk in a park, without a play structure, without other kids around, is OK.”

About 4% of grandparents live with their grandchildren, so staying away isn’t an option.

As of mid-May, Beth Kashner has joined that group. Her daughter’s family, including an 11-year-old granddaughter and 10-year-old grandson, relocated from Brooklyn to Kashner’s large Seattle home “while normal life is on hold,” or at least for the summer.

“They even brought their two cats,” said Kashner, 73. “I’m really happy that everyone will be part of the same safe community.”

Kashner already lived less than a mile from her four other grandchildren, who range in age from 3 to 10. For weeks, she saw them only from afar. Now, the whole family is gathering. It may be risky, but they’re taking pains to stay as safe as possible, she said.

“We did just go to the park wearing masks and trying to keep our distance,” she said.

For those who must be physically close to their grandchildren, there are ways to reduce the risk. Frequent hand-washing and sanitizing of high-touch surfaces is essential. Avoid contact with those outside the household. Masks and gloves can help.

And it’s not just the little ones. Adult grandchildren must consider carefully how to visit their grandparents, too. Malani recently took her family to visit her 97-year-old grandmother, Haridevi Malani, at home.

“It was a bit of a dilemma,” she said. “But I had a need to go visit her.”

Until a treatment or vaccine for the coronavirus is available, every interaction will be fraught with questions, she said. Going forward, families will need to weigh risks and benefits.

“We’re not going to have a situation where we can mitigate the risk to nothing,” Malani said. “It’s about how much risk you’re willing to take.”

‘We Miss Them All So Much’: Grandparents Ache As The COVID Exile Grinds On published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/

[dinafbrownil]

It’s Not Just You: Picking Health Insurance Is Hard. Here’s How To Be Smart About It.

Science has proved, no kidding around: Picking health insurance is extremely hard.

Special Reports

An Arm and a Leg

May 23

Health care — and how much it costs — is scary. But you’re not alone with this stuff, and knowledge is power. “An Arm and a Leg” is a podcast about these issues, and its second season is co-produced by KHN.

It’s open enrollment — time to pick next year’s insurance — for folks who buy it on their own and for many of us in our jobs. Lots of us aren’t sure we know how to pick, and research shows: We’re not wrong.

A group of economists found that most people will not make the best choice among the plans in front of them.

And it’s not just average people who have trouble. One of the economists who did that research — George Loewenstein of Carnegie-Mellon University — told me he was personally dreading the process of helping his adult son pick a plan.

“I have no confidence that I’m going to make the right decision,” he said.

So, it’s not just you.

Most of us, Loewenstein and his colleagues found, have two main problems: We don’t understand all the terms, and we have a hard time doing the math.

The good news is, you can avoid some of the worst mistakes. That can mean saving thousands, or even tens of thousands of dollars.

Here’s what you’re aiming for.

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Set Realistic Goals

You’ve seen the stats, like how most bankruptcies involve medical debt, and you’ve seen the horror stories, like the guy whose first month of dialysis threatened to stick him with a half-million-dollar bill.

The goal in my family is simple: Avoid disaster.

That may mean paying a little more every month. A health insurance payment — the monthly premium — is very annoying for most of us, especially since we often still have to shell out to see a doctor, even with insurance.

But getting that monthly payment as close to zero as possible? Probably not your best move. Not if it puts you at risk of a horror story you could avoid.

So: Be very careful with plans that don’t comply with Obamacare rules. They’re sometimes marketed as “Trumpcare” — which is not actually a thing — and although they do tend to have lower premiums, they could leave you vulnerable in unexpected ways.

Just ask the woman in Philadelphia who had her foot amputated. Her insurance plan’s response: “Nope! Not covered.”

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Understand The Terms

Quick: What’s a deductible? What’s a copay? What is coinsurance? What does out-of-network mean? What does OPX stand for?

And those are just the basics. If you’ve got them down cold, you can skip to the next section, but otherwise here’s a quick rundown:

The deductible is how much you shell out before your insurance covers much of anything. The amount can be absurdly high. If your plan has a $7,000 deductible, ask yourself, “Where would I get hold of seven grand?”

Copay is how much you pay for an office visit with a doctor. Usually a flat amount: $20 or $30 … or more.

Coinsurance is your share of other medical expenses — stuff that can get pricey, like a hospital stay. Usually expressed as a percentage: 10%, 20%, etc. (Of course, serious medical stuff gets so expensive super quickly, so 10% of a LOT is … a lot.)

The network is the set of providers — doctors, hospitals, clinics — that accept your insurance. Anybody who doesn’t take your insurance may be able to charge you … whatever they want.

OPX stands for out-of-pocket maximum, and it’s a key number: It puts a cap on how much you could pay (beyond your premium) in a given year.

If you could use more detail, here are some resources:

Smart and well-organized: The great reporter Sarah Kliff, formerly of Vox now with the New York Times, offers the most confusing words in your health insurance forms, explained.

Longer, more fun, also great: “An Arm and a Leg” podcast listener Anna Jo Beck sent in a self-published booklet that does a great job explaining the basics and more. Friendly, thoughtful, and sprinkled with lovingly captioned pictures of stuff like toddlers, kittens and newlyweds — which Beck describes as “moments of cute, heartwarming distraction to keep you from totally wanting to give up hope.”

Less warm and fuzzy, but very straightforward: This Health Insurance 101 post from Reddit’s personal-finance community.

Do The Math And The Research

For the math, you’re going to want to make a spreadsheet. Maybe open yourself a beer first.

To evaluate an insurance plan, you’re solving for two things:

1. What does this plan cost me in a normal year?

If you’re superhealthy, maybe that means you don’t go to the doctor at all. If you’ve got some conditions that mean you know you’ll need a provider, or you’re going to need access to meds, figure out what those copays and coinsurance fees might add up to.

2. How much might this plan protect me — and how much would I still have to pay — if, God forbid, I got hit by a bus or something?

That’s really what insurance is for, and you want to know the answer to this one. It’s usually the same as the answer to “What’s my out-of-pocket maximum?” — assuming you’ve done the research.

The research? This is where you study the network.

This step is especially important if there are things you know you will — or could — need next year: Might you or your partner get pregnant? Have you reached the age where docs say you should get a colonoscopy? Is there a funny rash you���re starting to worry about?

You get the idea.

If so, definitely make sure you’re OK with whichever providers are in the network for a given plan.

Because remember that key term, “out-of-pocket maximum”? Well, in a lot of plans — including everything on the Obamacare exchanges — this threshold applies only for in-network providers.

With out-of-network providers, not only are they free to charge whatever they want, your insurance is not there to put any limits on what you might have to pay.

For details about making your spreadsheet: Check out this first-person account by Zachary Tracer, the health care editor at Business Insider — which is illustrated with a photo of him working his spreadsheet, beer close at hand.

About the research: It’s not easy, especially if you’re going to the hospital for something like surgery or childbirth. A reporter from Bloomberg who writes about health care recently posted to Twitter asking for advice.

Get Help, The Best You Can Find

Here’s why my economist source was dreading this process. Getting to the bottom line taxes the average person’s spreadsheet mojo.

I thought I could figure it out on my own. When I said that to Lynn Quincy, who runs the nonprofit Health Care Value Hub, she laughed.

“Your plan could have different deductibles,” she said. “It could have a general deductible, it could have a pharmaceutical deductible, it could have a hospital deductible.”

She was basically saying, How’s your spreadsheet looking now, smart guy?

Of course, the answer was: Looking pretty sad.

For instance, here’s part of an actual quote my insurance agent sent this fall: $200 IP $150 OP

I was, like: What do IP and OP even stand for? Just getting the answer to that required a couple of tries-and-misses with Google on my part — and I report on this stuff full time. (Answer: “inpatient” and “outpatient.” But even now that I’ve got that answer … how could those numbers affect my bottom line?)

There are automated services that can help — basically, databases that do the math for you — but we don’t all have access to them. Some employers offer this kind of thing as a benefit.

Check with your HR department, and if it’s an option, jump on it. And if it isn’t, well: Ask your HR folks all the best questions you can. And ask if they’ll consider adding a service like that next year.

In some states, the Obamacare exchanges offer a similar service, developed by a nonprofit called Consumers Checkbook. Here’s the list of states where that’s available.

For the rest of us, here’s a place to find actual human beings near you whose job it is to explain this stuff. Note that you’ll find two types of folks listed:

“Assisters,” who can help you navigate the Obamacare marketplace or see if you qualify for programs like Medicaid. They’re obligated to be on your side, paid by government grants.

“Agents/brokers” can also help you navigate … but they’re generally paid by insurance companies. And not all states require them to act in your best interest.

OK, there it is — and, of course, it’s not entirely pretty.

Just remember: It’s not just you.

And this: This is not an SAT question. There’s no one right answer.

Especially: It’s not realistic ― and probably not a good idea ― to shoot for a game plan where you end next year having spent the absolute least amount of money possible on health care and insurance. Life is kind of a crapshoot that way.

But with a little patience ― and maybe a stiff drink ― you can reduce the risk that you’ll go broke. And that’s worth doing.

Dan Weissmann is the host of “An Arm and a Leg,” a podcast about the cost of health care, now in its third season. It is co-produced by Kaiser Health News.

from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/open-enrollment-picking-health-insurance-is-hard-smart-guide/

[cover2covermom]

Hello bookworms!

I know we are only mid-way through October, but it’s time to start thinking about what I’ll be reading in November.  I decided to prioritize my physical TBR in November, but need YOUR help to decide which books off my shelves to pick up…

I decided that the best way to do this would be to have 4 categories with a few different options in each category.  You can pick ONE book from each category.  The book with the most votes in each category will be added to my November TBR!

Science Fiction Selections:

#1 The Calculating Stars (Lady Astronaut #1) by Mary Robinette Kowal

On a cold spring night in 1952, a huge meteorite fell to earth and obliterated much of the east coast of the United States, including Washington D.C. The ensuing climate cataclysm will soon render the earth inhospitable for humanity, as the last such meteorite did for the dinosaurs. This looming threat calls for a radically accelerated effort to colonize space, and requires a much larger share of humanity to take part in the process.

Elma York’s experience as a WASP pilot and mathematician earns her a place in the International Aerospace Coalition’s attempts to put man on the moon, as a calculator. But with so many skilled and experienced women pilots and scientists involved with the program, it doesn’t take long before Elma begins to wonder why they can’t go into space, too.

Elma’s drive to become the first Lady Astronaut is so strong that even the most dearly held conventions of society may not stand a chance against her.

#2 The Sparrow (The Sparrow #1) by Mary Doria Russell

In 2019, humanity finally finds proof of extraterrestrial life when a listening post in Puerto Rico picks up exquisite singing from a planet that will come to be known as Rakhat. While United Nations diplomats endlessly debate a possible first contact mission, the Society of Jesus quietly organizes an eight-person scientific expedition of its own. What the Jesuits find is a world so beyond comprehension that it will lead them to question what it means to be “human”.

#3 Ender’s Game (Ender’s Saga #1) by Orson Scott Card

Andrew “Ender” Wiggin thinks he is playing computer simulated war games; he is, in fact, engaged in something far more desperate. The result of genetic experimentation, Ender may be the military genius Earth desperately needs in a war against an alien enemy seeking to destroy all human life. The only way to find out is to throw Ender into ever harsher training, to chip away and find the diamond inside, or destroy him utterly. Ender Wiggin is six years old when it begins. He will grow up fast.

But Ender is not the only result of the experiment. The war with the Buggers has been raging for a hundred years, and the quest for the perfect general has been underway almost as long. Ender’s two older siblings, Peter and Valentine, are every bit as unusual as he is, but in very different ways. While Peter was too uncontrollably violent, Valentine very nearly lacks the capability for violence altogether. Neither was found suitable for the military’s purpose. But they are driven by their jealousy of Ender, and by their inbred drive for power. Peter seeks to control the political process, to become a ruler. Valentine’s abilities turn more toward the subtle control of the beliefs of commoner and elite alike, through powerfully convincing essays. Hiding their youth and identities behind the anonymity of the computer networks, these two begin working together to shape the destiny of Earth-an Earth that has no future at all if their brother Ender fails.

Nonfiction Selections:

#1 Educated by Tara Westover

Tara Westover was 17 the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her “head-for-the-hills bag”. In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged in her father’s junkyard.

Her father forbade hospitals, so Tara never saw a doctor or nurse. Gashes and concussions, even burns from explosions, were all treated at home with herbalism. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education and no one to intervene when one of Tara’s older brothers became violent.

Then, lacking any formal education, Tara began to educate herself. She taught herself enough mathematics and grammar to be admitted to Brigham Young University, where she studied history, learning for the first time about important world events like the Holocaust and the civil rights movement. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home.

Educated is an account of the struggle for self-invention. It is a tale of fierce family loyalty and of the grief that comes with severing the closest of ties. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers: the perspective to see one’s life through new eyes and the will to change it.

#2 Creating Room to Read by John Wood

The inspirational story of a former Microsoft executive’s quest to build libraries around the world and share the love of books

What’s happened since John Wood left Microsoft to change the world? Just ask six million kids in the poorest regions of Asia and Africa. In 1999, at the age of thirty-five, Wood quit a lucrative career to found the nonprofit Room to Read. Described by the San Francisco Chronicle as “the Andrew Carnegie of the developing world,” he strived to bring the lessons of the corporate world to the nonprofit sector—and succeeded spectacularly.

In his acclaimed first book, Leaving Microsoft to Change the World, Wood explained his vision and the story of his start-up. Now, he tackles the organization’s next steps and its latest challenges—from managing expansion to raising money in a collapsing economy to publishing books for children who literally have no books in their native language. At its heart, Creating Room to Read shares moving stories of the people Room to Read works to help: impoverished children whose schools and villages have been swept away by war or natural disaster and girls whose educations would otherwise be ignored.

People at the highest levels of finance, government, and philanthropy will embrace the opportunity to learn Wood’s inspiring business model and blueprint for doing good. And general readers will love Creating Room to Read for its spellbinding story of one man’s mission to put books within every child’s reach.

#3 Born a Crime by Trevor Noah

The compelling, inspiring, and comically sublime New York Times bestseller about one man’s coming-of-age, set during the twilight of apartheid and the tumultuous days of freedom that followed.

Trevor Noah’s unlikely path from apartheid South Africa to the desk of The Daily Show began with a criminal act: his birth. Trevor was born to a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother at a time when such a union was punishable by five years in prison. Living proof of his parents’ indiscretion, Trevor was kept mostly indoors for the earliest years of his life, bound by the extreme and often absurd measures his mother took to hide him from a government that could, at any moment, steal him away. Finally liberated by the end of South Africa’s tyrannical white rule, Trevor and his mother set forth on a grand adventure, living openly and freely and embracing the opportunities won by a centuries-long struggle.

Born a Crime is the story of a mischievous young boy who grows into a restless young man as he struggles to find himself in a world where he was never supposed to exist. It is also the story of that young man’s relationship with his fearless, rebellious, and fervently religious mother—his teammate, a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty, violence, and abuse that would ultimately threaten her own life.

The eighteen personal essays collected here are by turns hilarious, dramatic, and deeply affecting. Whether subsisting on caterpillars for dinner during hard times, being thrown from a moving car during an attempted kidnapping, or just trying to survive the life-and-death pitfalls of dating in high school, Trevor illuminates his curious world with an incisive wit and unflinching honesty. His stories weave together to form a moving and searingly funny portrait of a boy making his way through a damaged world in a dangerous time, armed only with a keen sense of humor and a mother’s unconventional, unconditional love.

Fantasy Selections:

#1 The Last Magician (The Last Magician #1) by Lisa Maxwell

Stop the Magician. Steal the book. Save the future.

In modern-day New York, magic is all but extinct. The remaining few who have an affinity for magic—the Mageus—live in the shadows, hiding who they are. Any Mageus who enters Manhattan becomes trapped by the Brink, a dark energy barrier that confines them to the island. Crossing it means losing their power—and often their lives.

Esta is a talented thief, and she’s been raised to steal magical artifacts from the sinister Order that created the Brink. With her innate ability to manipulate time, Esta can pilfer from the past, collecting these artifacts before the Order even realizes she’s there. And all of Esta’s training has been for one final job: traveling back to 1902 to steal an ancient book containing the secrets of the Order—and the Brink—before the Magician can destroy it and doom the Mageus to a hopeless future.

But Old New York is a dangerous world ruled by ruthless gangs and secret societies, a world where the very air crackles with magic. Nothing is as it seems, including the Magician himself. And for Esta to save her future, she may have to betray everyone in the past.

#2 A Curse so Dark and Lonely (Cursebreakers #1) by Brigid Kemmerer

Fall in love, break the curse.

Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year, Prince Rhen, the heir of Emberfall, thought he could be saved easily if a girl fell for him. But that was before he turned into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. Before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.

Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, Harper learned to be tough enough to survive. When she tries to save a stranger on the streets of Washington, DC, she’s pulled into a magical world.

Break the curse, save the kingdom.

Harper doesn’t know where she is or what to believe. A prince? A curse? A monster? As she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what’s at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

#3 An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson

A skilled painter must stand up to the ancient power of the faerie courts—even as she falls in love with a faerie prince—in this gorgeous debut novel.

Isobel is a prodigy portrait artist with a dangerous set of clients: the sinister fair folk, immortal creatures who cannot bake bread, weave cloth, or put a pen to paper without crumbling to dust. They crave human Craft with a terrible thirst, and Isobel’s paintings are highly prized. But when she receives her first royal patron—Rook, the autumn prince—she makes a terrible mistake. She paints mortal sorrow in his eyes—a weakness that could cost him his life.

Furious and devastated, Rook spirits her away to the autumnlands to stand trial for her crime. Waylaid by the Wild Hunt’s ghostly hounds, the tainted influence of the Alder King, and hideous monsters risen from barrow mounds, Isobel and Rook depend on one another for survival. Their alliance blossoms into trust, then love—and that love violates the fair folks’ ruthless laws. Now both of their lives are forfeit, unless Isobel can use her skill as an artist to fight the fairy courts. Because secretly, her Craft represents a threat the fair folk have never faced in all the millennia of their unchanging lives: for the first time, her portraits have the power to make them feel.

  Middle Grade Selections:

#1 Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger

Twelve-year-old Sophie Foster has a secret. She’s a Telepath—someone who hears the thoughts of everyone around her. It’s a talent she’s never known how to explain.

Everything changes the day she meets Fitz, a mysterious boy who appears out of nowhere and also reads minds. She discovers there’s a place she does belong, and that staying with her family will place her in grave danger. In the blink of an eye, Sophie is forced to leave behind everything and start a new life in a place that is vastly different from anything she has ever known.

Sophie has new rules to learn and new skills to master, and not everyone is thrilled that she has come “home.” There are secrets buried deep in Sophie’s memory—secrets about who she really is and why she was hidden among humans—that other people desperately want. Would even kill for.

In this page-turning debut, Shannon Messenger creates a riveting story where one girl must figure out why she is the key to her brand-new world, before the wrong person finds the answer first.

#2 The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits, and a Very Interesting Boy by Jeanne Birdsall

The Penderwick sisters busily discover the summertime magic of Arundel estate’s sprawling gardens, treasure-filled attic, tame rabbits, and the cook who makes the best gingerbread in Massachusetts. Best of all is Jeffrey Tifton, son of Arundel’s owner, the perfect companion for their adventures. Icy-hearted Mrs. Tifton is less pleased with the Penderwicks than Jeffrey, and warns the new friends to stay out of trouble. Is that any fun? For sure the summer will be unforgettable.

#3 The Wild Robot by Peter Brown

When robot Roz opens her eyes for the first time, she discovers that she is alone on a remote, wild island. Why is she there? Where did she come from? And, most important, how will she survive in her harsh surroundings? Roz’s only hope is to learn from the island’s hostile animal inhabitants. When she tries to care for an orphaned gosling, the other animals finally decide to help, and the island starts to feel like home. Until one day, the robot’s mysterious past comes back to haunt her….

Please vote for one book in each category in the comment section below.  Even if you haven’t read all or any of the books in each category, feel free to vote for whichever book sounds the most interesting to you!

Voting will be open until October 31, 2019.

Have you read any of the books above?  If so, which ones?

Are any of the books above on your TBR?

Comment below & let me know 🙂

  YOU Pick My November 2019 TBR! #BookBlog #BookBlogger #Books #Reading #Bookworm #Bibliophile Hello bookworms! I know we are only mid-way through October, but it's time to start thinking about what I'll be reading in November. 

[elfigmlinkbf16insurance-blog]

What is the typical cost of braces without insurance?

What is the typical cost of braces without insurance?

I have no insurance and live in Pennsylvania. I had braces as a kid but my bottom teeth have gone completely crooked again, so crooked that my one bottom tooth is grinding on my top tooth and caused a small chip in it. I d love to get it fixed but have heard braces are upwards of 6,000. Should I make an apt and just figure out a ball park cost to see if I can afford it?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancefastfinder.xyz

SOURCES:

I have no insurance and live in Pennsylvania. I had braces as a kid but my bottom teeth have gone completely crooked again, so crooked that my one bottom tooth is grinding on my top tooth and caused a small chip in it. I d love to get it fixed but have heard braces are upwards of 6,000. Should I make an apt and just figure out a ball park cost to see if I can afford it?

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I have no insurance and live in Pennsylvania. I had braces as a kid but my bottom teeth have gone completely crooked again, so crooked that my one bottom tooth is grinding on my top tooth and caused a small chip in it. I d love to get it fixed but have heard braces are upwards of 6,000. Should I make an apt and just figure out a ball park cost to see if I can afford it?

[plxyboi-blog]

Baby Food, Bassinets and Talk of Salvation: Inside an Evangelical Pregnancy Center

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Baby Food, Bassinets and Talk of Salvation: Inside an Evangelical Pregnancy Center

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NEWPORT, Tenn. — Wendy Ramsey began her day as she often does, in the cool basement of Lincoln Avenue Baptist Church. It was a Thursday, and her first client was coming at noon. She flipped on the fluorescent lights.

Racks of infant, toddler and maternity clothes neatly lined the waiting area. Formula and baby food were on the shelf, free for anyone who came. A flier for a local domestic violence shelter was taped to the cinder-block wall, one of its tabs ripped off.

A whiteboard in her office listed her prayer requests: for her clients, for their salvation and for new babies.

“We are very open about what we do here — I guess more so, what we do not do here,” she said. “We are not a medical facility, we do not perform abortions and we do not refer for abortions. You can see the form right there.”

She pointed to the sign-in clipboard. The disclaimer was printed in bold and all caps.

Ms. Ramsey runs Options Pregnancy Help Center, a small evangelical Christian nonprofit that provides peer counseling, baby supplies and social services referrals to pregnant women and parents of young children.

The June morning was quiet, the opposite of the anti-abortion protests she used to attend. Protests alone, she had come to think, were “not how Jesus handled anything.” She remembered a Bible story of Jesus welcoming an outcast woman — people like the pregnant women and new mothers she now spends her days trying to help.

“If we want to be pro-life, we have to want more than legislation,” she said. “It just can’t begin and end there.”

Under President Trump, the anti-abortion movement has more power than it has wielded in decades. Roe v. Wade is in the cross-hairs. Nine states have drastically curbed abortion rights in the past few months. Alabama banned nearly all abortions, including in cases of rape or incest.

In Tennessee, conservative lawmakers are pushing a so-called heartbeat bill, which would ban abortion weeks into a pregnancy.

But in this eastern part of the state, a rural and conservative region of cherished religious values, the abortion debates in Washington, in statehouses and on cable news can seem distant.

Here, the front line of the anti-abortion movement is a woman working out of a church basement.

‘My heart is for women’

Options is one of more than 2,700 anti-abortion pregnancy centers across the country. It is affiliated with Care Net, one of the three largest networks of such centers in the United States, whose home page calls for action against “the pro-choice Left,” which it says “publicly defends infanticide.”

NARAL Pro-Choice America calls pregnancy center activists “anti-choice extremists” who “lie to and mislead women to prevent them from considering abortion.” Planned Parenthood clinics, like one in Memphis, report that pregnancy center volunteers try to lure women away from their doors with gift bags or protest vigils.

“All of that is directed at shaming patients who come for abortions, and stigmatizing abortion, which is a part of health care,” said Aimee Lewis, a vice president for Planned Parenthood of Tennessee and North Mississippi. “They are fake clinics.”

Options, like many independent anti-abortion pregnancy centers, is not a licensed medical clinic. But unlike some centers, it does not pretend to be. Volunteers do not force women to hear fetal heartbeats or show them gruesome photos of aborted fetuses. Women are informed that the volunteers are not professional counselors. The vast majority who come have already decided to have their babies.

Instead, the mission is to assure women they can handle the challenges to come, no matter the obstacles; the center helps them find jobs, emotional support or even a place to shower.

“The job is to not just say, ‘Hey, this is a real life inside of you, you need to save it.’ That’s not going to accomplish anything,” Ms. Ramsey, 31, said. “It is to get her to see that whatever she thinks is too big for her to handle, she can actually handle it.”

A third of the people in Cocke County, which includes Newport, are below the poverty line. The Tennessee Department of Health says that it ranks 94th of 95 counties in health outcomes, which measure length and quality of life, and that nearly half of children under 5 do not live in two-parent homes. The nearest abortion clinic is 50 miles away.

Nationwide, about a quarter of women who had abortions said their main reason was that they could not afford to have a baby, according to a 2005 study by the Guttmacher Institute. Half of the women who had abortions in 2014 lived in poverty.

“Circumstances don’t make a woman what she is,” Ms. Ramsey said. “My heart is for women to know their worth,” she said, “that they have a purpose, and that life is not too hard or extreme for them to meet the purpose that they want to do.”

“I just don’t know this is a war we are going to win politically,” she went on. “I wish people could just think people, not power. What is the good for the people?”

‘How can we help them?’

Ms. Ramsey’s first client arrived, almost eight months pregnant. She was 19 and worried about being a first-time mother. Ms. Ramsey asked what success looked like to her, and popped in a breastfeeding DVD to go over ways to hold a baby.

The videos are part of a Christian curriculum designed for anti-abortion pregnancy centers. When a client comes to Options, she watches a short video, does some homework reflecting on the day’s topic and then earns “Baby Bucks,” points she can trade for clothes, supplies, cribs — anything in the donation stockpile.

“We have to do a pregnancy test to start giving her stuff,” Ms. Ramsey explained between clients, otherwise “things get traded and sold.”

Down the hall, Brier Smart, 22, and her boyfriend finished a Bible study session. She dragged a pile of free infant clothes to the couch and began to fold each onesie while he played with their 7-month-old.

They had been coming since she was 30 weeks pregnant. When the Health Department reduced their son’s formula allotment with the Women, Infants and Children supplemental nutritional assistance program, they were grateful Options could help out.

Newport, a city of about 6,800, was getting a little better, Ms. Smart said. There was the updated movie theater and pool at the park. But many people they knew from school were now addicted to drugs — particularly methamphetamine. Grandparents were left raising children.

Ms. Ramsey stood in her office, reflecting on her mission. She could remember only three times when a client said she had come to Options thinking about abortion.

“I don’t ever look at a baby and think, ‘This is going to make this girl’s life way worse,’” she said. “When I see people that are living in poverty, I don’t look at it like, those people shouldn’t have a kid because they aren’t going to take care of it. I look at it as, ‘Those people aren’t in a good situation; how can we help them be in a better situation, with or without a kid?’”

She finds truth in the critique by many who support abortion access that their opponents do not care about life beyond birth. “All we want is the baby to be born, and then we are not going to give the parents any kind of tools to take care of it,” she said of many others in the anti-abortion movement. “We are not going to come alongside them, we are just going to feel like we won.”

‘A sense of pride in family’

The last client left for the day, and Ms. Ramsey drove toward Cocke County High School, where she graduated in 2006 before attending Bible college in Knoxville. There, she dreamed of moving to India to fight human trafficking, and even refused to wear shoes for a month to protest global poverty.

Last summer, a leadership club at the high school volunteered to serve dinner at the annual Options fund-raising banquet. It seemed that the whole town showed up: the local judge, the dentist, nurses, a pediatrician, the state representative. Together they raised $35,000 to refurbish a donated house so Options could move out of the church basement, a move set for later this summer.

This night, Ms. Ramsey met with teachers, health care providers, law enforcement and other community leaders to brainstorm how to get all the county’s children ready for kindergarten.

She sat down next to Alicia Dalton, who runs Newport Pediatrics.

“We are all pretty much in the same room together all the time,” Ms. Dalton said, “all working together to meet the same needs.”

Together the group discussed how to increase day care opportunities, make transportation accessible for people without cars and educate parents about nutrition. They had a refrain: “The community owns the problem, the community solves the problem.”

“People take pride in being able to provide for their families,” the county mayor, Crystal Ottinger, said a few days later. “They can’t always do that, for whatever reason: unemployment, disability, it may be drugs. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, we are rural Appalachia. But they still have a sense of pride in family here.”

It is a reason she thinks Options works: People have to earn points and take classes, not simply take free stuff. “The more people that Options can help, the more likely they are to give back,” she said.

Ms. Ramsey said her work was about helping women and their babies, but she also had an underlying hope: that they would commit their lives to Jesus. She offers extra points for Baby Bucks if they go to church. “I can’t lie,” she said. “Ultimately, I just don’t think that there can be an abundant life without Jesus. If they say that’s manipulative and a secret tactic, then I will not apologize for it.”

“I will tell you,” she went on. “We have girls that don’t go to church, that don’t do the Bible studies. I give them as much as anybody else. And I love them as much.”

‘He will set a path for me’

The morning after the meeting, Ms. Ramsey set out in a white minivan. Many of her clients do not have cars, so she picks them up.

She knows Newport’s streets by heart: past the Food City Gas ’N Go, along the railroad tracks, by the women’s jail, where she volunteers every other Thursday, to the bridge dotted with baskets of fuchsia-colored blossoms. She crossed.

This was the side where she grew up, first in the gray trailer and then in the house where her mother lives.

She looked out at the dark clouds growing over the Smoky Mountains in the distance and pulled into a driveway. She prayed silently and then knocked on the door.

A young woman stepped out, about five months pregnant. Jennifer Campbell, 30, was born here, too. Her parents divorced when she was 8, she moved in with her grandparents and then her father died in a motorcycle accident. Things spiraled downhill, from an abusive relationship to opiates and meth. Her two children were taken into state custody. She spent time in jail, and without a home.

And then, she said, she prayed to God.

“I got pregnant during the time that I prayed,” she said. “He blessed me with another chance of being a mom, and I did not want to mess this up.”

Now, she is sober. She goes to the doctor for prenatal care. She met Ms. Ramsey when she was in jail and heard she offered baby supplies. She said she had never considered having an abortion.

“I know that since God has blessed me with this child, he will set a path for me,” she said.

They pulled up to the church’s back door and went in.

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