#OH this could also work very well with demos workshop
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one of those asmr ambience videos of rooms from different movies/shows but it's engineer's workshop
#every 30 minutes you hear a decloaking sound effect and/or a “dagnabbit”#OH this could also work very well with demos workshop#i love them both i wanna hang out with them mwah#mercs#oldtxt
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Hello again! Sooo kinda a personal question but what was yalls childhoods like?
(Also, hope u feel better snipes!)
-Terror
Hallo everyone! I finally got my hands on those portraits! Now most of the others became rather uncomfortable when I started questioning them about their youths. I got answers ranging from “why are you so bloody intrested in how im doing! There’s nothing special about me or my childhood, now bugger off.” to more reasonable explanations. I tried calling Scout on his cellular device but he seemed very preoccupied. Oh well, he’ll get back to you on that, onto the testimonies! Brace yourself friends this will be somewhat lengthy.
I first approached herr Demo, and getting him to open up was fairly easy. His favorite alcoholic beverage and a snack did the trick!
“ It must be me birthday if yer spoiling me rotten doc, I guess I can share something about me youth if yer willing to lend an ear. I grew up in Glencoe Scotland, a great place if you like trails and hiking. Me mum and dad were professional monster hunters and me being the wee little lad that I was wanted to impress em with the greatest catch any child could give their parents, the Loch Ness monster! I did it all on me own but it came at a cost,,”
After that herr demo just stared off in the distance and I made a mental note to ask him more about that later, The Engineer was also very open about his youth! I came to him shortly after dinner knowing he would be busying himself with one of his long-term projects and would enjoy some company, his leg was still a little stiff from a rather nasty fall and so movement was difficult at times. He was more than happy to talk while I assisted.
“Luckenbach Texas, everybody is somebody there. It was recently bought by a goat farmer. Can you believe that? He called himself an Imagineer and after that, a bunch of hillbilly musicians started moving in. Can't complain though, It breathed new life into my home, I hated going back and seeing the state it was in. My mom and pop own a small pig farm there, and I still try to visit though unlike my good-for-nothing twin with his stupid fancy job at “NASA”,,
I don't think I should share his personal frustration about his twin with the public so let's move on, yes? The next day I approached Heavy, he was last on my list and seemingly already aware of me interrogating the entire team, and as he was cleaning his minigun he told me to take a seat.
“You want to know about heavy, Da? Then I will tell you about heavy. Grew up in big town near mountain, you would not know it. Had big family, many sisters and brothers but Heavy was oldest. Family was poor but happy, loved summer, snow would melt and grass and flowers would show, heavy likes this. Went to good school had many friends, now heavy works to give family same life. Doctor is happy with answer?”
I was surprised he was so willing to talk about his youth, I politely thanked him and left to prepare for that day's battle, I suppose that only leaves me left.
I was born in Germany, my mother was German and my father was Dutch and they both moved to Germany so my mother could be close to her family, he was a watchmaker and she was an artist, this relationship did not last and they got divorced. My motherstayed in germany allowing my father to raise me on his own back in the netherlands. I spent a lot of time in my father's workshop while he was trying to fix up old clocks. I didn't have many friends but who needs them when you have books and wildlife to observe? I excelled in all of my studies and pursued medicine, and eventually ended up here writing to you after I just finished up patching the last of my colleagues.
Stay healthy
With kind regards medic
#fortloser#fortloser medic#fortloser demoman#fortloser engineer#fortloser heavy#team fortress fanart#team fortress two#team fortress 2#tf2 engineer#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#tf2 demoman#tf2 ask blog#tf2 fanart#sfm#sfm art#sfm render#tf2 sfm#sfm poster#source filmmaker#ask blog#tf2 ocs#tf2
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mercenaries when you call them "friends" in front of other people
hey! before i start, i would like to thank you all for the support, i started a few days ago and you all have been very kind! i would also like to mention that requests/requests about tf2 are open questions also in case you have any doubts! thanks for your attention!
you had planned to play this prank on scout a long time ago so when you were in your room with jeremy just now miss pauling called you to ask you about some work stuff, scout had also stopped what he was doing to quietly listen to your call. "No, it's okay, I'm just hanging out with a friend", the poor guy had a short circuit in his head and became expressionless. when you ended the phone call and continued with what you were doing scout stopped you suddenly "what do you mean friends? friends don't do this" and then kissed you for a second. when you separated from the kiss he looked at you seriously, you couldn't hold your laughter and mentioned that everything was a joke. the boy smiled "so you are very joking lately" while he lifted you up and threw you gently to the bed and then tickled you.
you were smoking a cigarette with spy in the courtyard of the base, while looking at the stars, just a few minutes later engie called you on the small device he had given you to ask if you were free to help him with a new machinery he had invented, "relax, if I can talk I'm just hanging out with a friend", after a while of explanatory talk you hung up the call, put out the cigarette and before you could make any other move spy grabbed your hand and looked you in the eyes "you see me just as a friend? "the next move he made was to bring your faces closer together. "mon amour I have told you that you are more than just a friend" and then he kissed you, in the middle of the kiss you smiled, which he found curious "I know spy, it was just a joke" he blushed slightly and then let you go with a slight smile on his face.
You were in the common room with sniper playing a friendly game of cards, when suddenly miss pauling called you on the phone, sniper was looking at her cards thinking about her next move when she heard you say "relax, she was just playing cards with a friend" he immediately looked at you and stood up taking the phone from you "what do you mean a friend, she's playing cards with her boyfriend! "You kissed his forehead "it was just a joke" he laughed a little bit and then said "I don't like that kind of jokes".
you were in heavy's room while reading a book just when miss pauling called on the phone, heavy told you to answer while he continued with his book, "don't worry pauling, I was just hanging out with a friend" heavy didn't say anything but he had been listening to the conversation for a while, when you ended the call he put down his book "are we ok? you looked at his worried eyes and couldn't continue with the joke" oh no baby it was just a joke forgive me" while you hung on his neck and left little kisses on his cheek, he laughed a little and hugged you, and then continue his reading together.
you were sitting on the couch in the common room together with demoman when miss pauling called you and you decided to make the joke you were thinking about a while ago, you moved a little bit away from demo to answer the call while he was still relaxed on the couch, "relax I was just hanging out with a friend, I can answer the call" while you continued the call demo looked at you with his eyes wide open "WHAT? FRIEND? NONO WE ARE NOVIOUS, NOVIOUS" he said shouting and hugging you, miss pauling laughed on the other side of the line, when you finished the call he filled you with kisses and you told him "relax relax, it was just a joke" while you laughed because of the tickle that the kisses produced.
soldier was training while you watched him and from time to time helped him when he needed it, engie called you about the little device he had given you so you decided it was a good time to apply the joke you had thought of. "I'm just helping a friend" you saw that soldier had stopped hitting the practice dummy, however he hadn't said anything. when you ended the call with engie he shouted to you from across the base gym "DARLIN’, I THINK WE HAVE MAKEN IT CLEAR THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS CLOSER THAN JUST FRIENDS, I'LL HAVE TO INFORM THE OTHER SOLDIERS THAT THIS IS SO" you laughed at the emphasis in his voice as you ran up to him and hugged his back "relax, I think everyone here knows we are dating, it was just a little joke" he lifted you up in his arms and kissed you "fair enough darlin’".
engie had asked you if you could help him with some plans in his workshop, obviously you agreed to help your partner, but after a few minutes had passed miss pauling had called you on the phone and you decided it was time to put your prank into action. "relax pauling, i was just helping a friend with a couple of things" you said in a tone loud enough for engie to hear you. when you ended the call engir said calmly "oh relax you can leave now i have other things to do later with someone" you were confused and asked genuinely "who with? "oh relax, she's just a friend" with a quite marked passive aggressive tone and you understood that it was just a kind of revenge, you approached him to give him a kiss on the cheek between laughs "it was just a joke" while he blushed and mentioned that he already knew it.
you tried to make this joke with pyro as you felt quite curious about how he would react about the situation, when engie called you on the comm you answered "I'll be right there I was just with a friend" to the disgrace of your joke pyro wasn't even listening to the conversation as he doesn't like to be intrusive, you gave him a kiss on the top of his mask, it's too pure.
you were resting and drinking tea together with medic in the med bay after you helped him with an operation on one of the mercenaries when miss pauling called you and you decided to make the innocent joke "it's ok miss pauling, i was just hanging out with a friend" you immediately noticed medic's strong look, with a complete change of attitude from a few moments ago, at the end of the call he takes your cup of tea and says "you know what, you don't deserve my tea, what's that about a friend? "You saw his serious reaction and you laughed at that, telling him between laughs that it was just a joke so he would answer you "well, you still don't deserve this cup of tea".
#tf2#tf2 headcanons#tf2 imagines#tf2 x reader#tf2 scout#tf2 scout x reader#tf2 spy#tf2 spy x reader#tf2 sniper#tf2 sniper x reader#tf2 heavy#tf2 heavy x reader#tf2 demoman#tf2 demo#tf2 demoman x reader#tf2 solly#tf2 soldier#tf2 soldier x reader#tf2 engineer#tf2 engieneer x reader#tf2 engie#tf2 pyro#tf2 pyro x reader#tf2 medic#tf2 medic x reader#fluff#tf2 fluff#tiktok prank
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Deltarune Theory: More Musings on Everyman and Gaster
Hey all, it’s been about a month since my big Everyman Analysis Post and I just wanted to make a quick follow-up that ended up being quite long.
This follow-up includes some things that I left out of the original post, as well as a couple of new revelations and developments I’ve uncovered since then.
This new post also segues into a theory I’ve been building about Gaster, since I feel like both characters are connected.
I recommend you read the original post (if you haven’t already) otherwise this follow-up may not make much sense.
Sections
Quick Recap
Further Foreshadowing
The Curious Case of Mettaton
“Strange” Times
Revisiting Reaper Bird
Creating Reaper Bird
Ice-E’s Odds and “E”nds
A Deeper Look into Father Alvin
Heroes of the Dark, Villains of the Light
A New Challenger Approaches!
Gaster’s Connection to the Knight
Creating a New Future
Gaster is ???
Gaster the ???
What are Skeletons, Anyway?
Conclusion
Quick Recap
If for whatever reason you haven’t read the previous Everyman post, here’s the cliff notes version:
Everyman was the bullet attack from the Reaper Bird amalgamate in Undertale’s True Lab (the one whose head got eaten by butterflies)
Everyman appears twice in Deltarune Chapter 1, implying a greater role in the full game
In Undertale, Everyman was likely an actual person/monster who became part of an amalgamate like Snowdrake’s mother and Shyren’s sister did
Everyman is likely to be “The Knight,” mentioned in Deltarune (see first post for full argument/evidence)
Jevil and the King of Spades are connected to both the Knight and Everyman, implying they’re the same person (again, see previous post)
The word “strange” is associated with Everyman; his sprite in Undertale is called “strangeman” and Seam refers to the Knight as a “strange knight”
The Knight may or may not have a “strange son”, according to Seam (it’s unclear because the line is worded vaguely)
The Knight/Everyman is probably connected to Gaster
If Everyman is an existing character, then he’s likely either Father Alvin or one of the Ice-E’s employees (long story, see previous post)
[Image transcript: Two text boxes from Rouxls Kaard. In order, he says: “Lost...? Frightened...? Confused...? GOOD!! HA HA HA!!!” end image transcript.]
Need some help? Otherwise, we’re moving on...
Further Foreshadowing
I wanted to touch a bit more on the concept of character foreshadowing in Undertale/Deltarune, since it’s one of my foundational arguments for why I think Everyman will be important in Deltarune.
I still can’t help but find it remarkable that Toby took the time to include multiple Everyman “cameos” in Deltarune Chapter 1. The Jevil fight cameo especially gets me because it’s in a secret fight that most players already won’t experience on their initial playthrough, and on top of that it’s a rare event in said fight. It reminds me of how the “Mysteryman” event in Undertale has a strong chance to not trigger even if you have the correct fun value. This all feels like a lot of trouble for Toby to go through for what is an otherwise extremely obscure character.
Last time I gave examples of how characters like Mettaton and Rouxls Kaard were foreshadowed before they were properly introduced, but I found another example of a foreshadowed character that better illustrates my argument:
Muffet was a fan-made boss included in Undertale as a backer incentive for the game’s Kickstarter. In other words, she was (presumably) not part of the initial plans for the game or its demo (which was released prior to the Kickstarter). In the finished game, Muffet, while not as important as other boss characters, still ties into the spider bake sale seen in the Ruins and she’s (possibly?) one of the mercenaries hired by Mettaton to kill you.
Muffet’s inclusion in the full game retroactively makes the Ruins’ spider bake sale serve as foreshadowing for her character. However, Toby didn’t stop there.
[Image transcript: Two side-by-side screenshots of Undertale. In the left one, the narration says “(It’s a spider web.)” In the right screenshot, the narration continues: “(There’s a flyer for a bake sale on it.)” end image transcript.]
Toby also added a bake sale flyer in Napstablook’s house as an additional reminder and gave Muffet her own introductory bake sale room in Hotland before she’s properly fought.
Note how once again Toby took the time and effort to foreshadow a character multiple times, even though that character wasn’t even part of his original plans. And, as was the case with MTT and RK, the foreshadowing wasn’t just a one-off hint or nod, either.
Muffet is also an example of how foreshadowing doesn’t need to include a character’s name or a direct reference in any dialogue or flavor text. Mettaton and Rouxls Kaard are both mentioned by name (or initials) by other characters, yet Muffet’s name is never spoken before her fight.
A first time player going in blind would have no way of knowing that Muffet exists as a specific character in the narrative, but her presence would still make sense and be foreshadowed from contextual clues. The spider bake sale, while not telling us exactly who Muffet is, clearly builds up to the eventual reveal of her role and motivations. This is what I meant when I said that some foreshadowing only makes sense in hindsight, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is foreshadowing.
The Curious Case of Mettaton
Think back to what I said last time about foreshadowing:
“For all we know there could be other, more-cryptic Everyman references already in Deltarune that we don’t have the full context to understand yet.”
While I didn’t specify it at the time, I meant this as a subtle hint that Deltarune’s mentions of the Knight would double as foreshadowing for Everyman (assuming they’re the same person, as my theory alleges). Obviously I didn’t start my original post with this argument because it would be putting the cart before the horse and I had to first establish why I think Everyman is the Knight.
Speaking of the Knight, another thing that I hinted at but didn’t fully spell out last time is the fact that the three most prominent characters who mention the Knight (Seam, Jevil, and the King of Spades) all coincidentally leave “clues” that point to Everyman as well. Seam uses the word “strange” more than any other character and is the first one to mention the “strange” Knight. Jevil mentions the Knight and has the rare Everyman bullet. The Spade King mentions the Knight several times, including as his final in-battle line, then right after allows his cloak to fly away as a butterfly (an image associated with Everyman, per my last post).
If my theory is correct then it would mean that Everyman is foreshadowed even more heavily in chapter 1 than just his two visual “cameos”. It would also mean that every mention of the Knight would serve as a “namedrop” for Everyman, like how Mettaton and Rouxls Kaard are namedropped before their introductions.
This type of foreshadowing, where namedrops are seemingly “unconnected” to visual cameos, isn’t unprecedented. Mettaton is namedropped several times in Undertale before Hotland, but we also see his rectangular form powering the Snowdin colored tile puzzle.
[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Frisk looking at Mettaton’s deactivated body next to the colored tile puzzle in Snowdin. The narration says “(The machien isn’t working.)” end image transcript.]
I also want to clarify that, yes, that’s actually Mettaton--Papyrus mentions that Alphys designed the tile puzzle and you can see that Mettaton disappears from that room later on before eventually reusing the tile puzzle himself in Hotland.
[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Frisk talking on the phone with Papyrus in the Snowdin colored tile puzzle room. Papyrus is saying “OH HO!!! THE PUZZLE THAT DR. ALPHYS MADE!” end image transcript.]
But here’s something you may not have ever thought about: there’s absolutely nothing prior to Hotland that outright says that the mysterious “MTT” and the machine powering the tile puzzle are one in the same, just like how there’s no line of dialogue in Deltarune Chapter 1 that outright says Everyman is the Knight.
In fact, I’d argue there’s more evidence to suggest that Everyman is the Knight than there is to suggest (to a new player, pre-Hotland) that “MTT” and the tile puzzle machine are the same person (or even a person at all), and yet we know the latter is true. Just something to think about.
“Strange” Times
Something else I wanted to expand upon was the use of the word “strange”. I pointed out last time how Everyman is called “strangeman” in Undertale’s game files and how Deltarune’s dialogue uses the word “strange” very deliberately.
What I didn’t touch on was how the word “strange” is used in Undertale. Long story short: it’s used a lot more often than in Deltarune but its usage also feels a lot less deliberate. On the one hand, “strange” is used to refer to important things like Alphys’ Lab, Sans’ room, Toriel already “knowing” humans after a reset, and the broken machine in Sans’ workshop.
[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Frisk staring at a curtain in Sans’ secret room. The narration says “(There’s a strange machine behind the curtain.) (It seems to be broken.)” end image transcript.]
On the other hand, “strange” is also used to refer to more mundane things like sleeping in Toriel’s house, quiet echo flowers, or Mettaton rattling off the features of the game-shaped bomb.
In truth, I don’t think the word “strange” has much meaning when it comes to dialogue in Undertale. However, Everyman is the only sprite in Undertale with the word “strange” in its title. Almost all of the non-dialogue strings with “strange” in their name also relate to Everyman. There are a couple of other strings referring to a “strangetangle,” but I’m not exactly sure what that is.
My personal theory is that Everyman and the True Lab may have been one of the later additions to Undertale’s programming, and by that point Toby had likely written most of the game’s dialogue and didn’t feel the need to retroactively limit the use of the word “strange”. That’s purely my own speculation, of course.
The point still stands that Deltarune uses “strange” in a way that feels much more planned. Unlike Undertale, Deltarune tries to limit “mundane” uses of “strange” as much as possible. I must also reiterate that the first mention of the Knight and the first usage of “strange” in Deltarune is Seam referring to a “strange knight” in bright red letters.
[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of Seam saying “But, recently, a strange knight appeared... And three of the kings were locked away.” end image transcript.]
On the flip side, Toby has gotten a lot more careful with filenames for sprites in Deltarune. There are no sprites named “everyman” or ”strangeman” in Deltarune’s game files, just as there’s no “Gaster” or “mysteryman” either (save for the vessel name flag that restarts the game). The Everyman bullet that appears in Jevil’s fight is simply “spr_carousel”, and the graffiti is part of “bg_alphysalley”. Toby left far fewer secrets in Deltarune’s files than he did in Undertale’s, likely as a conscious effort to avoid spoiling any future reveals.
Revisiting Reaper Bird
Speaking of covering tracks, when writing my previous post I was a little disappointed to find that Reaper Bird’s battle text was something of a dead end for clues. Almost all of the dialogue and flavor text in Reaper Bird’s fight is repurposed text from the Astigmatism, Final Froggit, and Whimsalot fights.
[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of the Reaper Bird battle. Reaper Bird has three text bubbles. In order, they say: “Someone finally gets it,” “Ribbit ribbit,” and “Courage...” end image transcript.]
When you think about it, Everyman is the most noteworthy thing about the Reaper Bird fight. Without him, Reaper Bird would be the most forgettable amalgamate. Reaper Bird doesn’t even show up again during the True Pacifist “victory lap” walk-around. Endogeny, Lemon Bread, and Snowdrake’s mother all show up in the overworld and have additional dialogue (or dog noises) with their family members. Reaper Bird and Memoryhead are the only amalgamates never heard from again.
I do think that Reaper Bird and Memoryhead are meant to serve a purpose beyond being general amalgamates. Memoryhead at least has the distinction of being the first amalgamate fought, having the unique “bad memory” item associated with it, and (arguably) being the most mysterious of all the amalgamates due to having no easily-identifiable “component” monster parts.
Still, there are a couple of Reaper Bird tidbits worth pointing out. First is the name: I find it interesting that Everyman has been associated with two different “reaper”-affiliated enemies (i.e., Reaper Bird and Jevil w/ his scythe). It’s also interesting how the artbook shows an early concept for Whimsalot that carries a scythe as well:
[Image transcript: Two entries from the Undertale Artbook. On the left is a spritesheet for Everyman. Beneath it says “spr_strangeman_losinghead.png by Toby Fox. Name: Everyman Description: Just a good guy who shows up on occasion. To the right of this entry is an image of a Whimsalot holding a scythe while wearing a skull mask. Beneath it says “spr_whimsun_reaper.png by Toby Fox. Different idea for Whimsalot.” end image transcript.]
The sprite is even called “whimsun_reaper”. Funny coincidence how Whimsalot’s design was changed to become more knight-like in the end.
While we’re on this page, there’s something I wanted to take another look at:
Madjick and Knight Knight are grouped with Everyman and Whimsalot despite neither of them being represented within the Reaper Bird’s design or dialogue. This page is immediately after a page that shows concepts for Final Froggit and Reaper Bird:
Wouldn’t it make more sense for Everyman to be on the same page as Reaper Bird, rather than being grouped with with Madjick and Knight Knight? The only things that Madjick, Knight Knight, and Whimsalot have in common are (1) they’re Core enemies and (2) they have the strongest “knights and wizards” theming out of all the Core mercenaries. Final Froggit and Astigmatism’s designs are more ambiguous, and the latter isn’t even included in this section of the artbook at all (despite being a component of Reaper Bird!).
Looking at this page, the earlier design for Reaper Bird’s eye-mouth thing does remind me of something...
It’s a somewhat tenuous connection and could just be a coincidence. Then again, Spade King is connected to the Knight and I already made a big deal out of his butterfly-shaped cloak. Interestingly, Spade King never uses his Chain of Justice attack after his cloak flies away and instead resorts to basic spade bullets to put down the Fun Gang. If the cloak was a gift from the Knight, perhaps it was endowed with sort of power that heightened the King’s abilities?
It is odd how the Chain is the only part of the King’s sprite that’s grey instead of black, white, or blue. Lancer’s sprite doesn’t have any grey on it, nor does he have his own “Chain” appendage. As far as I know this shade of grey is not used on any other character. Grey seems to carry a very specific connotation in this series: New Home is entirely in grey, the overworld sprites for the Amalgamates are grey, and Gaster Followers/Goners are associated with the color as well. We don’t fully know what it means yet, but it seems to be significant. Best make a mental note of it, at least.
Creating Reaper Bird
What especially sticks out to me now is Toby’s line above Reaper Bird’s Artbook entry:
“I created Reaper Bird first but I realized it wasn’t creepy enough so I gave it longer legs in-game.”
Now, when Toby says he created Reaper Bird “first”, he doesn’t specify what that “first” is in relation to. Was Reaper Bird the first amalgamate he designed? Or does Toby mean that he designed Reaper Bird “first” and then designed the Core mercenaries afterwards so that they’d fit as “components” of Reaper Bird’s body?
That latter interpretation may seem like a bit of a stretch, but it’s worth noting that Reaper Bird is the only amalgamate shown in the art book whose concept art does not have a step-by-step “breakdown” of how it was created from the designs of its component monsters. Endogeny and Lemon Bread both have full-page spreads showing earlier concepts alongside the regular monsters that make up their components.
What’s especially interesting is the artbook also includes a scrapped “Royal Guard” amalgamate and a page for Snowdrake’s Mom, whose final design only takes inspiration from Snowdrake.
And yet despite the fact that Reaper Bird has one of the most obvious designs in terms of how its components “fit together”, Toby did not show his early design process and instead only shows three frames of Reaper Bird’s idle animation. Assuming Reaper Bird was designed first and the Mercenaries’ designs were created or modified afterward, this would fit with my theory that the Core Mercenaries were deliberately themed around Everyman and his “knighthood”.
Even the design of Reaper Bird itself evokes some traits of Everyman’s design. Namely, both characters are bipedal, both have long necks, both have a beak/proboscis, and both have a single visible eye mounted on the side of their head. That last part stands out the most to me, as every major character in Undertale and Deltarune has forward-mounted eye sockets, like a human would. Even among random encounter enemies and background NPCs it’s a rarity to find wall-eyed characters.
It could just be my over-eager imagination, but the fully-stretched Reaper Bird looks like it even matches Everyman’s proportions to a degree, almost like it’s a skeleton or outline attempting to regain its “true form” out of the cobbled-together mercenary parts.
I said before that Reaper Bird becomes the most “boring” amalgamate without Everyman. In many respects Everyman is the centerpiece of that amalgamate, and by extension he may also be the centerpiece that informed the designs of the Core mercenaries.
If that’s going too far out on a limb, consider how many places and characters in Undertale are connected to Gaster despite the fact he has no real role in the game’s main plot. Sans, Papyrus, the Core, and the True Lab are all “informed” in some way or another by Gaster’s “existence” even though he never properly appears. Is it so unlikely to imagine that another “unseen” character who may be important in Deltarune also had a large impact on aspects of Undertale’s world?
Ice-E’s Odds and “E”nds
Speaking of impact... I don’t really have a segue lined up, so let’s talk about Ice-E’s instead. In my last post I brought up the idea of Everyman being one of the Ice-E’s employees that we see in Hometown. The bulk of my analysis focused on The Warrior, but I neglected to talk about the other unknown mascot: the “purple guy”.
In truth, there’s not a whole lot to this character. He only has one line of dialogue and he seems to be a deliberate reference to the “purple guy” from Five Nights at Freddy’s. Still, he’s just as mysterious as The Warrior and could very well have a larger role to play in the full game.
Interestingly, the purple guy’s sprite is named “icemascot_fake” in Deltarune’s files, whereas Burgerpants and the Nice Cream Bunny are “icemascot1″ and “icemascot2″, respectively. This fits with Burgerpants’ line where he questions whether the purple guy “even works here”.
[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. Both feature Kris talking to Burgerpants in Hometown. On the left, Burgerpants says “Purple Guy - Man, THAT GUY, you gotta...” and on the right he continues, saying “... actually, does that guy even work here?” end image transcript.]
The purple guy is also the only Ice-E’s mascot whose costume’s body doesn’t match the color of the costume’s head.
His colors do match the Everyman/Ice-E graffiti, though. Judging from his “fake” costume, he’s apparently some sort of Ice-E’s fanatic who made his own Ice-E’s getup and pretended to work there. I’m not sure how that would tie into the Knight’s motivations, if at all, but it certainly fits the bill for being “strange”.
Ice-E’s is apparently strange and creepy enough in-universe to inspire urban legends about it
But Kris was only kidding, right?
Getting back to Ice-E’s as a brand, it’s interesting how the company focuses on the letter “E”, inserting it into the word p”e”zza and other places where it doesn’t belong.
[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of Burgerpants saying “Ice E’s P’E’ZZA, You’re number ‘1′ Spot for a piping hot pe’E’ce of PEZZA.” end image transcript.]
Could the focus on “E” be pointing towards “E”veryman’s involvement? Eh, mayb”E”.
Something that was pointed out to me by gantaloupe on Reddit: In the Core we see two branching paths: the sage’s path and the warrior’s path.
[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Frisk reading a sign in the Core. The sign says “(North, the warrior’s path.) (West, the sage’s path.) (Any path leads to The End.)” end image transcript.]
While this could just be a coincidence, it’s an interesting factoid in light of how Everyman is connected to the Core mercenaries and possibly connected to a character named “The Warrior” in Deltarune.
One last thing that I noticed is how Everyman’s bullet sprite and the Ice-E’s costumes both have nubby arms and legs without any defined fingers or toes. Everyman’s body and Ice-E’s head would fit together like a glove. It would certainly be easier to picture one of the mascots abstracted into Everyman’s bullet design rather than, say, Gaster or Father Alvin. Speaking of which...
A Deeper Look into Father Alvin
Father Alvin kinda got the short end of the stick in my previous post when I said he was “less likely” to be Everyman than one of the Ice-E’s employees. I still hold that opinion, but that doesn’t mean he’s not worth exploring further.
One thing that I glossed over was the topic of Alvin’s potential connection to Gerson. Now, there’s nothing in chapter 1 that outright says Gerson and Alvin are related, but it’s easy to intuit based on the fact that they’re the only two turtle monsters that we see in the series. Both characters are connected to Hometown’s school, and one could infer that Alvin’s drawing in the supply closet could be a drawing of Gerson rather than a self-portrait.
[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. Both feature Kris looking at a drawing on a cabinet in the unused classroom. In the left screenshot, the narration says “(It’s a yellowed, poorly-drawn picture of a green turtle.)” The right screenshot continues: “(It’s signed ‘Alvin’.)” end image transcript.]
Gerson himself seems to have no connection to the Knight’s machinations, and it’d be difficult to imagine otherwise since he’s, y’know, dead. Still, it is eerie how Gerson was the only character in Undertale who provided any information on the deltarune symbol and now he’s “conveniently” absent from Deltarune’s narrative.
[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Gerson saying “That’s the Delta Rune, the emblem of our kingdom.” end image transcript.]
Instead we have a different turtle character who also makes mention of an “angel” like Gerson did.
[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of Kris talking to Father Alvin. Alvin says “Let the Angel’s power light your way.” end image transcript.]
We don’t know much about Alvin yet, but the impression I get from him is that he’s Gerson’s opposite--mild-mannered, patient, and more interested in divine matters than history or research. Alvin also shows reverence for the Angel, capitalizing the name, whereas Gerson uses the term “angel” with quotation marks and treats it as a quaint curiosity.
[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots of Gerson talking. In the left screenshot, he says “Most people say it’s the ‘angel,’ from the prophecy...” The right screenshot Gerson says: “I jus’ think it looks neat! Wahaha!” end image transcript.]
Getting back to Alvin’s drawing, it was pointed out to me that Alvin’s green turtle drawing and the drawing of three people smiling in Sans’ lab are both described as “poorly drawn” by the narration.
[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots of Frisk in Sans’ secret room. In the left screenshot, the narration says “(It’s a poorly drawn picture of three smiling people.) (Written on it...)” The right screenshot continues: “don’t forget.” end image transcript.]
This may sound minor, but these are the only instances where the descriptor “poorly drawn” is used in either game. It’s also significant because the drawing of three smiling people only shows up when Frisk talks to Clamgirl, who mentions “Suzy” and is eventually revealed to be a goner/Gaster follower. This means both drawings are tied to Deltarune’s world.
I’m not entirely sure what the significance of the drawings is, since we still don’t know for certain who the three smiling people are or which green turtle is in Alvin’s drawing. If Alvin is the Knight, I could see him using drawings to attempt to bring specific types of darkners to life with the dark fountains he pulls out of the earth. In the case of the turtle drawing, maybe he was hoping to bring Gerson back as a darkner by recreating his likeness?
In Deltarune we’ve already seen a possible darkner “counterpart” to a lightner in the form of Ralsei, so maybe the idea of “recreating” lightners as darkner doppelgangers will be explored further in the full game? Chapter 1′s dark world was in the school and Gerson was a teacher there before he passed away. Chapter 2 seems poised to take place in a hospital dark world, and we see Rudy in a poor state of health at the hospital just prior to chapter 2. It’s too early to tell, but maybe these “holy” fountains and darkner doppelgangers are the Knight’s idea of bringing about life after death, or an “angel’s heaven,” if you will.
It goes without saying that my ideas of the Knight’s motives are purely speculative, but one last note I’ll leave on is how Gerson is mentioned an awful lot in Deltarune, more so than he was in Undertale. Gerson’s name is also one of the names that triggers a special response in the vessel creation sequence. Seems like an awful lot of attention for a “dead” character with no further role to play in the story, and remember what I said earlier about repeated character foreshadowing. All I’m saying is, don’t be too surprised if we meet a darkner by the name of “Snorge” or “Resong” or “Goners” or--hmm... Goners...
Heroes of the Dark, Villains of the Light
Now’s as good a time as any to bring up something I and a lot of others have noticed: Deltarune’s heroes are dark. Ralsei is a prince from the dark with horns, Susie is a bully described as a “dark knight” in one of her equip screen titles, and Kris is described by some Hometown residents as “creepy,” to say nothing of how Chapter 1 ends. Others in the fandom have pointed out how Deltarune’s battle system places Kris & co on the left side of the screen, in contrast to many classic JRPGs where the heroes are positioned on the right side of the screen.
On the other end of things, Ralsei’s prophecy refers to the “heroes of legend” sealing the “holy” dark fountains in order to “banish the Angel’s heaven”. That doesn’t really sound like a typical “heroic” goal. There’s also the speculation that sealing Card Castle’s fountain may have had negative repercussions for the Castle’s inhabitants. I’m not saying this to argue that the fun gang is somehow “evil”, but merely to point out that they have the trappings of darkness.
Angels, on the other hand, are typically associated with light and goodness, and we know that Alvin serves the angel (whether this is solely in an abstract/religious way or in a more direct way remains to be seen). We know that sealing dark fountains somehow relates to banishing the Angel’s heaven, so it’s not a stretch to assume that the Knight is in league with the Angel due to his desire to create fountains.
I already entertained the idea of the Knight and the Angel working together in my last post, but something else that ties into this is Toby’s refrain of describing Everyman as “just a good guy that shows up on occasion.” He uses this description in the Everyman tweet as well as Everyman’s entry in the Undertale art book. It’s clearly meant to be a significant phrase.
[Image transcript: On the left is a Twitter thread by Toby. On the right is an excerpt from the Undertale Artbook featuring a spritesheet of Everyman. In both images, Toby writes “Everyman. Description: Just a good guy who shows up on occasion.” end image transcript.]
We can infer that the Knight will be a major antagonist going forward, and I’ve already argued that Everyman is the Knight, so this paints the picture of a Knight with good intentions--a “Knight in shining armor,” if you will. This could be another argument in favor of Alvin being Everyman/the Knight, since he at least tries to project the image of piety and fits this theme of "holy” villains to contrast the “dark” heroes.
Now that I think about it, a “villain” like that would be an interesting inversion from the likes of Flowey--instead of an antagonist who’s trying to kill people, we have an antagonist who threatens to smother the entire world with the unchecked new life he’s creating. His actions at Card Castle show that he doesn’t go out of his way to kill, given that the three kings were kept alive as prisoners, but we also see how his actions enabled an evil King to abuse his power in the name of protecting his “holy” fountain.
While Flowey illustrated the lesson of “don’t kill and don’t be killed,” perhaps this Knight would be meant to show the dark side of appeasement and how “good intentions” only get you so far? The Spade King definitely comes off as a subversion of the typical “don’t fight!” approach of Undertale, and if Alvin is the Knight then he might push that “lesson” further going forward.
Still, for every champion of the light there is one who waits in the dark...
A New Challenger Approaches!
That’s right, there’s a third Knight candidate to cover. I’m sure some of you have been eagerly awaiting this one, so give it up for...
spr_normalnpc!
Ok, in all seriousness a couple of people wanted me to talk about this character who shows up in the Hometown Library. Their name isn’t given in-game and they’re simply known as “spr_normalnpc” in the game files. As of right now their only purpose is to block Kris from visiting the upstairs floor of the Library.
[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Deltarune screenshots of Kris talking to Normalnpc in the Library. In the left image, Normalnpc says “I love reading books. Especially the books upstairs. You should really.” before finishing in the right image, saying “Read them!” end image transcript.]
As far as we can tell, this character is the Deltarune counterpart to the elusive Gaster Follower 3 from Undertale.
Not all of the character design details line up, but both characters cut a similar silhouette and that’s good enough for me.
After my initial Everyman theory post, I’ve been asked whether I think normalnpc might be Everyman/the Knight. I never gave it much thought before now, so let me start with the points in this character’s favor:
Normalnpc shares some of Everyman’s basic design traits, namely a beak/proboscis, a single eye visible on the side of their head, and a long neck
“Normalnpc” and “Everyman” are both such generic names that they immediately arouse suspicion
Normalnpc acts “strange,” repeating placeholder-ish dialogue about reading books while simultaneously blocking you from going upstairs
Normalnpc maintains a positive tone, making them a “good guy”...?
Both characters are connected to Gaster, maybe?
Ok, look, I’m not saying that Normalnpc can’t be Everyman, but there’s very little to work with here besides the general design, the name, and vague Gaster connections. And even then, I’d say Normalnpc’s and Everyman’s designs have too many differences for my liking. While some of the basic features are there, their silhouettes, proportions, and stance/posture are all completely different.
Another complication is the fact that Normalnpc’s “goner” counterpart already exists in Undertale, and I said last time that Everyman would have to be a character who isn’t seen elsewhere in Undertale because he was busy being stuck inside Reaper Bird.
On the other hand, we do see goner counterparts for characters that already exist in Undertale, as is the case with Gaster Followers 1 and 2 (for the sake of simplicity I’m assuming that Gaster followers are the same thing as “goners”).
But I’m not sure whether these “goners” are meant to be alternate “versions” of these specific characters or whether they’re just other members of the same “species” as their counterparts.
Monster Kid and Goner Kid, for example, have many differences in their designs, including different shirts, different spine arrangements, and slightly different facial features.
Clamgirl muddies things even further, undergoing a total transformation when she “becomes” Gonerclam. This raises the questions of what causes someone to “become” a goner as well as how and why their bodies change in ways beyond just turning grey.
So far we’ve seen instances of goners coexisting alongside their “originals,” like with the two Monster Kids, but we’ve also seen Clamgirl get “replaced” by her goner by becoming one. Based on our limited and seemingly-contradictory knowledge of how goners work, I can’t even say for certain whether Normalnpc’s presence in Undertale would be accounted for or not with the existence of Gaster Follower 3.
And that’s kind of the problem with Normalnpc as an Everyman suspect: we know far too little. Father Alvin and the Ice-E’s employees each have a smoking gun that makes them likely Everyman candidates: in Alvin’s case it’s the drawing in the closet, and for Ice-E’s it’s the graffiti plus the Warrior’s hospital stay potentially lining up with Chapter 2′s setting. The best things Normalnpc has going for them are a vague resemblance and having a more obvious (yet vague) connection to Gaster, the latter of which is hardly a unique thing in this setting.
Moreover, there’s nothing that specifically ties Normalnpc to being the Knight other than through Everyman, and the “connection” between Normalnpc and Everyman is already tenuous. Alvin is independently connected to the Knight by virtue of leaving his drawing as a “calling card” in an area the Knight has recently been. The Warrior’s roleplaying shtick would make him a natural fit among a “swords and sorcery” setting that the Knight evokes. Of the three candidates, Normalnpc definitely has the weakest claim to Knighthood.
That all being said, Normalnpc is still a character to keep an eye on. The name alone comes off as Toby hiding a secret in plain sight. Even if this character doesn’t wind up being Everyman or the Knight, I’m sure their role will be bigger than that of a mere NPC.
Gaster’s Connection to the Knight
Now for the moment you’ve really been waiting for! Truthfully, a lot of this is Gaster stuff that I wanted to talk about last time but didn’t have room to fit in.
I made clear in my last post that I favored Everyman being the Knight over Gaster being the Knight, though the two could be interchangeable in the event that the Knight has a “strange son” working alongside him (which is a prospect I still can’t fully commit to).
Still, a lot of Deltarune speculators have latched onto the idea of Gaster being the Knight. Near as I can tell, here’s the evidence:
Both characters are associated with darkness
Seam, who’s familiar with the Knight, uses the Entry 17 phrase “darker, yet darker” in reference to the “strange someone” Jevil met (who may be the Knight)
Jevil says “THE HAND OF THE KNIGHT IS DRIFTING FORWARD”, and Gaster is associated with hands
Gaster is believed to be the “man” who gives Kris an egg. The word “EGG”, in all-caps wingdings, is written as three hands pointing in the “L-shaped” movement pattern of a knight piece in chess
I can see how this evidence would be compelling, especially in the absence of any competing theory for the Knight’s identity. I can’t refute all of this, aside from saying that the “darkness” association is overly broad in a game where half the cast are darkners and the “EGG” thing, while neat, could be a coincidence. I do think this evidence could point to Gaster being connected to the Knight, but I have two main reasons for believing he isn’t the Knight himself.
First off, I don’t think Gaster’s goals align with the Knight’s. For this argument I’m going to assume that the mysterious voice from Deltarune’s intro, game over screen, and pre-release Twitter takeover is Gaster. Gaster, at least nominally, seems to be on the same side as the red soul, or is at least willing to work with them. The fun gang’s goal of sealing the dark fountains would almost certainly put them at odds with the Knight, if the Spade King’s reaction was anything to go by.
When you get a game over and continue, “Gaster” says “THE FUTURE IS IN YOUR HANDS”.
While he doesn’t urge you to continue like Asgore does during Undertale’s game over, he certainly doesn’t discourage it either. When you refuse to continue, Gaster says “THEN THE WORLD WAS COVERED IN DARKNESS” and the melancholic song “Darkness Falls” plays.
One could argue that Gaster is trying to maintain objectivity or “neutrality” when the red soul dies, like a scientist would in an experiment.
Nonetheless, I would imagine that if Gaster was the Knight then he would be adamantly opposed to anyone who threatened his creation. Ralsei mentions that the prophecy of legend was foretold by “time and space”, and Gaster is said to have shattered across time and space.
[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Deltarune screenshots of Ralsei talking to Kris and Susie. In the left image Ralsei says “A LEGEND that one day, two HEROIES of LIGHT will arrive.” In the right image he says “And fulfill the ancient prophecy, foretold by time and space.” end image transcript.]
It would be odd for the Knight to deliver a prophecy that predicts the undoing of his own handiwork, and then deliver that prophecy to a prince who would assemble the heroes to do just that.
Creating a New Future
I want to touch a bit more on Gaster’s use of the word “future”. He also made mention of this during the Undertale Twitter account’s takeover just before Deltarune Chapter 1 released:
[Image transcript: A Tweet from the official Undertale Twitter account, dated the day of Deltarune Chapter 1′s release, saying in all-caps “I LOOK FORWARD TO CREATING A NEW FUTURE WITH YOU.” end image transcript.]
For whatever reason and through whatever means, Gaster wants to help the red soul create a new future. Choosing to continue from a Game Over causes Gaster to reiterate this goal, while the “opposite” of that, i.e. giving up, is seen as allowing the world to be covered in darkness. This implies that the “future” Gaster wants to create is one where darkness isn’t running amok. Even if Gaster is trying to remain neutral or merely observe, it still sounds like he prefers for the fun gang to prevail.
All this emphasis on the word “future” reminds me of something from the Reaper Bird fight...
[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Reaper Bird’s check text description, stating “REAPER BIRD - ATK ?? DEF ?? This relentless future finally looks brighter and brighter.” end image transcript.]
Now, this check text is a combination of the three check texts for Astigmatism, Final Froggit, and Whimsalot. To wit:
[Image transcript: Three Undertale enemy check text descriptions arranged from top to bottom. In order they say “ASTIGMATISM - ATK 32 DEF 26 This relentless bully ALWAYS gets its way. FINAL FROGGIT 7 ATK 2 DEF Its future looks brighter and brighter. WHIMSALOT - ATK 34 DEF 12 It finally stopped worrying.” end image transcript.]
But as I said before, Reaper Bird may have been designed first and then “informed” the designs of the Core Mercenaries afterwards, and that could hold true for their check text as well.
I find this use of the phrase “relentless future” interesting. A “relentless” future could mean one that’s inevitable or predetermined, and the phrase “finally looks brighter and brighter” could signify that the future has finally changed for the better. Gaster’s goal seems to be to create a “new” future, which would imply an outcome different from a “predetermined” future where your choices don’t matter, which is a running theme in Deltarune. I don’t think Gaster would describe the future as being “created” by people or “in your hands” if he felt that choice was an illusion.
This isn’t the first time that Gaster has been associated with unpredictability or defiance of “fate”. Most Gaster-related events in Undertale were tied with the fun value, a randomly-generated number that changed with each playthrough. Although this mechanic had little impact on the story, it did give each playthrough a greater sense of identity and made events less set-in-stone.
Now, compare this “optimistic” interpretation of Gaster to the “strange someone” that Jevil met.
[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Deltarune screenshots of Seam talking. The left image says “One day, he met a strange someone... and since then, he began to change.” The right end image continues, saying “ Soon, he began to see the world as a game, and everyone as its participants.” end image transcript.]
Seam says that Jevil began to see the world as a “game” and everyone as its “participants,” which doesn’t imply a lot of agency. This mindset is a big red flag when we remember how Flowey viewed others when he saw them as part of a “game.”
[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots. The left one shows Flowey tying Frisk’s friends, saying “This is all just a GAME.” The right image shows Flowey talking in New Home, saying “Sets of numbers... Lines of dialogue... I’ve seen them all.” end image transcript.]
Seam’s own view of the world becomes “darker, yet darker” after talking to Jevil, and Seam asks “would I have found a little more purpose in my life...?” if not for the experience of locking up Jevil (and, presumably, the experience of listening to Jevil’s words).
[Image transcript: Four Deltarune screenshots arranged in a grid, all featuring Seam talking. From beginning to end the four images say “Since that time, the strange words he’s said have stuck inside my cotton... And my view of this world has become darker, yet darker. And I wonder, if I hadn’t been asked to lock him up... Would I have found a little more purpose in my life...?” end image transcript.]
In order to understand what “darker, yet darker” truly means, we need to view the line in its original context:
ENTRY NUMBER SEVENTEEN
DARK DARKER YET DARKER
THE DARKNESS KEEPS GROWING
THE SHADOWS CUTTING DEEPER
PHOTON READINGS NEGATIVE
THIS NEXT EXPERIMENT
SEEMS
VERY
VERY
INTERESTING
...
WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK?
The phrase “darker, yet darker” originally referred to something that Gaster was observing in Entry Number 17. Although the phrase has come to be associated with Gaster, it doesn’t necessarily refer to something that he’s causing or wants to happen--part of a scientist’s job is to observe and comment on results as they unfold, after all. And the “interesting” experiment Gaster refers to is something that’s happening “next”, which implies that the experiment is happening after or in response to whatever is causing things to become darker, yet darker. It also suggests that he’s not calling the “darker, yet darker” event itself “interesting”.
The impression that I get from all this is that Deltarune is meant to be a struggle against inevitability, with Gaster seemingly in the “choices matter” corner of the conflict. If the Knight is the “strange someone” Jevil met then that would imply that he’s very much on the opposite end of that spectrum. If, for example, somebody like Father Alvin is the Knight then I could see him rationalizing his position as fulfilling “fate” pre-ordained by the Angel. In this dynamic, the Knight would serve as an agent of faith and order to oppose Gaster as an agent of science and invention, further tying into the “dark heroes vs. holy villains” theme I posited earlier.
Okay, phew, that was all the first reason why I don’t think Gaster is the Knight. As for the second reason? Well...
Gaster is (Probably) a Darkner
Boy, that’s sure a loaded title, isn’t it? I made an offhand remark about this in my original post but didn’t want to get into it there. I only bring it up now because I previously argued that the Knight is a lightner and that would rule out darkner characters from filling the role.
So, why do I think Gaster is a darkner? Well, part of the reason is because I think that Sans is a darkner as well. Two Left Thumbs’ "Sans is a Darkner” video is probably the most accessible way to understand the theory, but there are several posts about it on Tumblr already if you look hard enough. Either way it’s not required viewing in order to understand my arguments for Gaster, but long story short there’s a lot of evidence to suggest Sans is a darkner and it’s strongly implied that Sans and Gaster are related (if not by blood then through other means), which makes it likely for Gaster to be a darkner as well.
Aside from the Sans connection, another reason I think Gaster is a darkner is due to the line about him being “shattered across time and space.”
[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots of Frisk talking to Gaster Follower 2 in Hotland. Follower 2 says “Alphys might work faster, but the old Royal Scientist, Doctor W.D. Gaster? They say he shattered across time and space.” end image transcript.]
We can infer from Deltarune that, for whatever reason, darkners are more difficult to kill than monsters due to Deltarune’s enemies all being unkillable. Whether this is an inherent trait of darkners or some “rule” of the dark world or Deltarune’s universe is unclear, but given that defeating Sans doesn’t contribute towards your kill counter in Undertale, there’s a strong likelihood that darkners are difficult to kill, if not outright impossible.
So how is this relevant? Well, it seems like a darkner would be far more likely to survive being “shattered across time and space” than a monster. When a monster’s body is broken apart it means they’ve either turned to dust or will soon, but the fact that “pieces” of Gaster persist (as seen with Gaster Follower 2) implies that he’s made of something sturdier than dust.
[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots of Frisk talking to Gaster Follower 2 in Hotland. Follower 2 says “Ha ha... How can I say so without fear? I’m holding a piece of him right here.” end image transcript.]
Not only do I believe that Gaster is a darkner, but I’m pretty confident that I know what “kind” of darkner he is. Most of the darkners we’ve seen in chapter 1 can be linked to real-world objects that exist in the Hometown school’s supply closet. While we don’t know what objects (if any) were used to create Ralsei or (possibly) Sans, at most those two are exceptions to the otherwise-universal rule that darkners come from inanimate objects. In Gaster’s case there’s definitely an object that’s associated with him:
Gaster the Egghead
[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of Kris hidden behind a tree. The narration says “(You received an Egg.)” end image transcript.]
In Scarlet Forest “a man” gives an egg to Kris before vanishing, much like how “Mysteryman” vanishes in Undertale. The song that plays during this scene is called “man” in the game files and sounds a lot like Gaster’s theme. The egg itself exhibits strange dimensional properties, reappearing when used, prompting the narration “what egg?” when you try to get rid of it, and becoming two eggs when put into Asgore’s fridge.
When Kris leaves the dark world at the end of chapter 1, their inventory turns into a “ball of junk”, i.e. the real-world objects that were given new form by the dark fountain.
[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of the inventory menu open in Hometown. The only two items are “Ball of Junk” and “Egg” end image transcript.]
The egg is the only other object that remains after chapter 1, implying that it’s a “real” egg and that the egg itself is not a byproduct of the dark world like the dark candies and other items are.
The fact that the “man” disappears when he hands you the egg implies that his presence or “form” is somehow contingent upon the act of giving you the egg. If Gaster is a darkner, if he’s “the man”, and if his form is based on an egg then it makes perfect sense why he’d disappear in that moment--he’s turning back into an egg and surrendering his “true form” (or a piece of it) to you for safe keeping. Given that Gaster seemingly wants you to seal dark fountains, it would make sense that he’d want to hitch a ride out of the closet’s dark world before its fountain goes caput.
This isn’t the only time we see mentions of eggs in Undertale and Deltarune:
[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Papyrus’ dating HUD. On the left is a small white egg, labeled “EGG.” end image transcript.]
Papyrus (who’s connected to Sans and likely Gaster as well) has a conspicuous “egg” on his dating HUD.
[Image transcript: Two side-by-side Undertale screenshots of Frisk talking to a Temmie in Temmie Village. In the left image, Temmie says “tem... WATCH EGG!!!” In the right image, the narration says “(It’s hard-boiled.)” end image transcript.]
In Undertale, one of the Temmies is watching over a hard-boiled egg. However, in Deltarune we see a Temmie with a very different kind of egg.
[Image transcript: A Deltarune screenshot of Kris examining an egg on Temmie’s desk in their classroom. The narration says “(It’s a black-and-white hardboiled egg.)” end image transcript.]
Specifically, it’s described as a “black and white” egg. Needless to say, that’s an odd way to describe an egg. Not all eggs have white shells, but most people wouldn’t describe a white-shelled egg as “black and white”. Of course, we know someone who’s also “black and white”.
[Image transcript: An Undertale screenshot of Mysteryman in his grey room.” end image transcript.]
And he’s “black and white” in the very literal sense. Unlike the Gaster followers, Mysteryman solely uses pure black and pure white in his color palette, and he’s one of the only characters with an all black-and-white overworld sprite. Note also how Mysterman’s head is vaguely egg-shaped and has lines resembling cracks.
Out of all the objects that I could imagine a darkner being made from, an egg is one that I could picture “shattering” like Gaster did while still leaving some small pieces scattered around. I’m not sure whether this would be a “real” egg or a similarly-fragile facsimile like a Faberge egg--either could work in this scenario.
What are Skeletons, Anyway?
“Now wait,” some of you might be saying, “isn’t Gaster supposed to be a skeleton?” Well, I don’t think Gaster being a skeleton is mutually exclusive from Gaster being based on an egg. Egg shells are made of calcium carbonate, one of the mineral components that make up bones.
We see in Deltarune that darkners’ forms in the dark world don’t have to match their “true” forms completely. Pretty much all of the darkners based on playing cards are abstractions that barely resemble a rectangular card. And while we don’t know what Ralsei’s “true” form is (if he has one), it’s very unlikely that he’s a small goat with a hat and scarf in the light world. If Sans is a darkner then there’s also the possibility that his “true form” isn’t a skeleton either.
The rules of the dark world and its inhabitants aren’t entirely clear, so in spite of my arguments I can’t say with certainty that Gaster is a darkner because I can’t even say with certainty that Sans is a darkner, despite him having much stronger evidence supporting that conclusion.
As compelling as Sans’ case is, it still invites questions like how he’s able to exist in Hometown without the apparent aid of a dark fountain, or why Papyrus turns to dust in Undertale despite being Sans’ “brother”. Similar concerns crop up with Gaster in light of his connections-by-proxy with Papyrus and his implied presence in the mysterious Hometown shed.
I still think the possibility of Gaster and Sans being darkners is one worth discussing and it’s a possibility that many fans are sleeping on. Moreover, it’d be fittingly poetic if Deltarune’s main conflict was engineered by a lightner trying to spread darkness and a darkner trying to seal away the darkness.
Conclusion
So this ended up being a lot longer than I originally planned--almost as long as my original Everyman post!
A lot of what I’ve said here is meant to provide further context and elaboration to my earlier theories, but I admit that some of this was pure speculation, namely in regards to Gaster/the Knight’s motivations and the “dark heroes vs. holy villains” theming.
While a good argument should have evidence to back it up, at the end of the day a work of fiction is still a story and is governed by the conventions of storytelling much more than it is by logic or the laws of physical science. This is one reason why I lean so heavily on Toby’s use of foreshadowing, since it’s a narrative tool he’s leveraged consistently in the past.
My attempts to second-guess the motivations of unseen characters and chart the plot’s trajectory would be downright conspiratorial if I were talking about some real-world event, but Detlarune is a story and stories have to go places. A well-written story doesn’t take the time to set up or foreshadow certain characters or exposition if it doesn’t plan to pay off that setup down the road.
Normally I wouldn’t make theory posts this long and esoteric about a work of fiction, since a large amount of writing consists of revision, retcons, and changing things as you go along. Undertale and Deltarune are partial exceptions to this rule in no small part due to Toby planning Deltarune before he began Undertale and planting many “seeds” referencing Deltarune in Undertale’s narrative as a result.
A lot of my conclusions haven’t significantly changed since my previous post: I still believe Everyman will appear again in the full game, I think he’s the character most likely to be the Knight, and I think the most likely Everyman candidates are the Ice-E’s employees and Father Alvin, in that order.
As far as which of my conclusions have changed, I’m now more apprehensive of the idea of the Knight having a “strange son” and of Gaster being the Knight himself. I still can’t discount either possibility entirely, however. I was always shaky about the “strange son” and I often went back and forth on it, but further probing Gaster’s motivations has made me far less convinced that he could be the Knight or in league with him. I’m sure there’s still a connection between both characters, like a shared origin or some past falling out that they had, but I no longer think that they would be on the same side.
Another thing I’ve (sort of) changed my mind on is that the “purple guy” Ice-E’s employee and Normalnpc have both risen in prominence in my eyes. I don’t know if I’d put either of them down as top candidates to be Everyman or the Knight, but something is definitely up with them and I’m sure Toby has plans for them in the future.
Deltarune is shaping up to be a much longer game than Undertale, likely following the mold of traditional RPGs whose stories span several hours. In the time that it would take to play through Deltarune’s story, we may see narrative payoffs to every loose thread and Everyman candidate I’ve brought up. If the identity of the Knight is meant to be a mystery then some candidates might even be deliberate red herrings set up by Toby. Who can say? We’ll just have to wait and find out.
I closed my previous Everyman post by remarking that I had said all that I can on this topic and hopefully this time I mean it. I can’t really think of much else to say about Everyman until Toby releases more information himself, and that’s not likely to happen until the next Undertale anniversary or Deltarune’s full release.
As I said before, my main goal with all this is to spark conversation within the fandom on what is an otherwise under-discussed topic. I might still make other theory posts in the future, but for now I think I’ve bled this topic dry.
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Observations
The Hunter hadn’t meant to spy. Truthfully she hadn’t. But as she passed by the Engineers workshop, hearing hushed voices when she was fairly certain everyone else was asleep. Or if not, doing something that didn’t sound so secretive. It piqued her curiosity. And after all, curiosity may have killed the cat, but the satisfaction of what it found did bring it back.
She shuffled up to the slightly open workshop door, peering inside. Watching the engineer and a pair of rather strange figures that certainly didn’t belong to their teammates.
“You sure you won’t change you mind, Conagher? They’re willin’ to add another zero to the pay.” The larger of the two men said. It was dark with only a lantern on to illuminate the trio inside, and he wore a lot of rather expensive looking gear that obscured his exact build, but she didn’t doubt he’d be a decent match to their own large Russian. Though her money would go to her fellow, if for some reason he and this fellow ever came to blows. “Just as sure as last time.” The Engineer replied, his voice warm, but she sensed a sort of annoyance. “You two have a good night now, y’hear.”
The Hunter ducked away from the opening as the men took a step back, pressing herself against the wall of the hallway, but being seen by the strangers wasn’t something she needed to worry over. The sound of a pair of heavy footsteps moving away, and then the sound of the larger door to the outside opening and shutting.
She peeked back through the door for a moment to make sure they were gone before she placed a hand on the edge of the door, pushing it open with a gentle creek that had the texan inside jumping. “Ooh, having scandalous late night meetings, are we, Dell? I thought only Spy did that.” She teased, trotting up to his work bench. “Who were those guys? They sounded like they were trying to buy you.” “How much exactly did you hear?” He questioned. “Not much. Just something about an extra zero being added to a paycheck and you doing that southern thing were you shoo people away but make it seem polite.” She replied with a soft laugh. “I’m assuming they were trying to either buy something from you, or wrangle you in to working for them. Am I right?” “Well, I suppose I won’t lie that you are.” He said, resting an arm on the table of the workbench. “No shit? How come?” She asked. “And aside from the whole non-compete thing in our contracts, how come you turned em down? Not paying high enough? Work too shitty to be worth it?” “Well actually, no, those fellas are willing to pay a damn high price, and works pretty good too. Not a bad gig, actually. But I belong here.” “So not bad, but not as good as here, then.” She said with a nod. “No point in taking a downgrade.”
“Well, truth is,” He murmured, taking off his helmet, rubbing at his brow with the back of his hand. “Our team, well, we’re considered the bottom of the barrel. A… well a laughing stock among more… highly regarded groups.” “Oh. They’re better than us.” She murmured. “Somehow, I’m not surprised at all.” She said, giving a small shrug at the flicker of confusion on his face. “Though that does make me more confused about you turning them down and not moving up the ladder.” “Really now?”
“Oh yeah,” She replied, moving to lean her hip against the workbench. “Think about it. Scout? His stamina and speed is top notch, but, he’s from a professional standpoint, just some kid from Boston who probably couldn’t fall in line with any real authority to save his life. He’s good, but not someone who would do good being with professionals. Solider is pretty self explanitory, I think.” She chuckled with a small, fond shake of her head as she pulled herself up to sit on the edge of the workbench. “Pyro? He lets us give him commands. He’s terrifying, even to people like you or me who are fond of him. Demo is brilliant with his bombs- his skills are second to none, but he drinks. His alcoholism is a crutch and other people wouldn’t be willing to deal with that. Now Heavy, he could be elite, if he was on another team. But he trusts very little, and the secrets he has would be harder to manage. Sniper too, but he wouldn’t want the structure. The being bossed around. He was his own team before all of us. Medic… he’s truly a genius with his work and the things he creates. But he’s unhinged and unpredictable. He cares for his friends, but he also uses them for his purposes without a second thought.” She fiddled with a dark red curl, strands of hair twisting around her finger. “Spy is a bit trickier to figure out why he stays…. Though I suppose that has something to do with scout, doesn’t it. Hard to turn a blind eye to your own blood being in danger, isn’t it.” She murmured, feet swinging idly.
“You know about that, huh?” More of a statement than a question. A small tip of her head in answer. “Mmhm. And for myself, well, I can’t see shit without these.” She said, plucking at her glasses. “And I’m just some hick woman from the middle of nowhere. Too sentimental. Too soft tot be valuable to a professional team. I don’t do kids, and I don’t like making orphans if I can help it. Don’t like innocents getting caught up in things. Hearts to big to be elite, I guess.”
“You’ve put quite a lot of thought into this, it seems.” He said, leaning up agaisnt the bench beside her. “Its just facts.” She shrugged, “We all have things that would make us good parts of a fancier team. And we all have things that would make us liabilities in a more professional setting.” “I suppose you have a point there.” He murmured, setting his helmet on the bench beside her.
“Except maybe you.”
The words are quiet, but they catch the Engineers attention. Questioning eyes turned to her. “You’re a genius, and you come from this line of work. It’s in your blood. You have the brains and the connections. Spy? Sniper? Sure, they both have connections of some sort or another. They’re both assassins in their own rights. They have to for their work. But you have the real connections, don’t you. You could have your pick of teams or partners. Tonight just proved it. But you stay with us. The group with too many missing marbles and too many screws loose.” She said, brown eyes warm, but firm as she explained her reasoning. “I won’t pry why.” She said softly, giving his shoulder a light pat. “But I hope it’s cause you like it here with us.” With that, she slid off the desk, boots thumping softly on the hard wood floor. “It’s pretty late. I won’t keep you up any later. Make sure you get some rest tonight too, Dell. Okay?”
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Request by @just-here-for-humor
This is no a top perfectly done, i have some doubts but here we go!
[The most] Scout-> Sniper-> Heavy-> Demo-> Engie->Spy-> Medic-> Soldier-> Pyro [The least]
Scout.
He calls his mother every time he can, even if it's few minutes, he will do it. He talks about how his day was, what he did and never forgets a "love you" before hangs up, but he wishes he was face-to-face.
When he gets nostalgic, he prefers to be alone, he doesn't want to be seen by his team like 'the weak'. He'd watch how the sun falls to let pass the night, he used to do that when he was a child, his mood will be 'Looking at nothing and thinking of everything'.
Have you ever looked at the watch in middle of the class, to know how many minutes left? He'd do that too, even knowing that there are still days to go home.
Sniper.
Like Scout, he tries to make contact with his parents when he has free time, prefers to speak with his mother than his father, but he would like more with both. He can't wait to see them every time he hears their voices.
He has a hat given by his father, has been using it for years and even it's pretty old and worn out, he doesn't want to throw it away. It was a present and he is going to keep it forever, the hat and the photos.
When his parents died? He just looks at the sky, at the two birds that are watching him, the couple of butterfly dancing around and think, they're there. He wouldn't help but smile; "I keep giving 'em hell, dad. Tell mom, i love her."
Heavy.
He has been taking care of his family for a long time since his dad died, and he being so far, it made him worried at first. He phoned a few times to know how his mother and sisters are. At the end, he knows he can't be their guardian forever.
Sometimes he'd like to go back in time and relive the few moments he had with his father, and when he played hide-and-seek with his sisters. He doesn't like to be interrupted when he's like this.
When the family moved with him to USA? Everyone can see a smile on his face because he can visit them anytime, still misses a lot of things but the important one is that the people he loves are finally free to do what they want.
Demo.
When he is making new bombs, he uses it to go back to the past, the life he had in his motherland, the good moments, mainly the ones he shared with his father. It wasn't much but he misses him.
He's lucky that his mother lives near where he works, so he goes to pay her a visit everyday. He usually brings her everything she needs and spends time with her, even with his age, he's always been Mama's boy.
He doesn't mind to share his memories with other people, it's something he thinks it helps to remember new ones and show experiences he had.
Engie.
24/7 in his workshop, it's a long time not only to... Well, work but also think in certain things, like his past. He won't hide it, really misses his old life in Texas. Sometimes he regrets some actions.
He has few photos of his childhood that hides in a small box, when he opens it, it's 'cause he's getting really nostalgic. One of them is he as a kid being with his father. If he could have the opportunity to go back to time? He may take it.
He plays the guitar/banjo and sings quietly, he doesn't want to be heard, especially when he's like that. He closes his eyes and imagines that he's in his old house, he would swear to hear some barks of a dog that he once had and loved.
Spy.
Although his job prevented him from taking care of those he once cared about, he believed that just forgetting about it, would make it easier to deal with. Even for him, it's not that easy. More when he is AWARE that he has created a family.
Like Scout, he prefers to stay away from the team in his private room, being lost in his mind becomes a hobby he can't escape, he misses the thousands of ways he'd be living if he hadn't been a spy, a life with the woman he loves and the kid he couldn't raise with her.
And like Demo, he misses his homeland. Wait every chance he has to visit it, even if he has to leave in 2 days, his memories are there but now, his future is in USA, something important to him and he will protect, no matter what.
Medic.
Oh Medic, what's the past for him? Nothing. Yes, he sometimes remember a few memories of his life in Germany, when he was a kid, his parents... Etc. However, the present is what he cares about and being direct, himself.
Like Engie, staying in his laboratory or medbay, even all the day, he has a lot of time to think, stops for a moment and recalls about the things he did to end up here. He can't help but smile.
He also doesn't mind at all tell others about his experiences in previous situations, do you need to know how to hide a body? Let Medic introduce himself. "Oh, the good old days!".
Soldier.
I think he can't remember his past or doesn't want to, mainly the fist one, he has blockouts and doesn't know anymore what memory is true or false. Sometimes he gets upset about it.
We know Soldier very well for being so proud of the country, being very repetitive, and that's the only thing he's sure of. He needs to remind himself of this, in the fear that one day he will forget it completely.
The team gets suspicious when they see a soldier calmer and quieter than usual. It's okay, he's trying to recollect something, what can he miss? When he doesn't even know what he did the last day.
Pyro.
Let's say, they just live the present. They have never talk about the life they had or even they had one. If they miss something, that wouldn't take long and keep going.
They would be the one who will be there for the others, they would hug Scout and wipe away his tears, sit on the floor and see how Engie plays the guitar, stay next to Demo and hear all his adventures as kid and even be silent for hours with Soldier.
Sad or not, they just don't care. They are in a job with another 8 people, ones that they get along with and others not and that's it. Although it's inevitable to wonder what goes through their mind when you find em looking at the fire, without moving.
Masterlist.
Want to send request? Read the rules first!
The next one will be:
#team fortress 2#tf2 scout#tf2 spy#tf2 engineer#tf2 sniper#tf2 demoman#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#tf2 soldier#tf2 pyro#tf2 headcanons#tf2 request#tf2
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NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)
and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin
Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward
A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!
Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?
A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.
Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?
A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.
We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.
Q: 1. how was your day
2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown
A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.
up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue
Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market
A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!
Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular
A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF
Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.
I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?
A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat
Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.
A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!
Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.
A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!
not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.
Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.
A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.
Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!
Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?
A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me
Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?
A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.
pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob
Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?
A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.
the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it
Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play
A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)
the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.
i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted
Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?
A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.
Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?
A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.
Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)
A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!
Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?
A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.
Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc
A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development
Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?
A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept
Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?
A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat
disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin
Q: Will the game have dlc?
A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.
if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates
Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?
A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals
about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov
and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!
quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.
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As Easy As Breathing
Modern AU!Brian May x OC
Word Count: 3.7k
Warnings: None
Moodboard and Summary
A/N: Hey guys! I have been working on starting this new story for a while and I am so excited to finally be posting it. Please let me know what you guys think and I hope you all like it!
What do you think of this one Darlings?” Freddie spun in the store mirror, admiring his reflection as he modeled an old off-white leather jacket.
“Fred, it’s falling apart at the seams,” Roger stared at his roommate in disbelief. “There’s no way we can sell that as it is and there’s no way you can wear that onstage without it literally falling off. Where did you even find that thing?”
Freddie Bulsara huffed and turned around to face the two other owners of the Rag Trade, Roger Taylor and Josie Crowley, still modeling the falling apart jacket that he dubbed as ‘vintage’. “I have my ways Rog.”
Josie perched herself up on the counter, letting her legs hang over the side. ‘Let me guess, Kash?”
Freddie shrugged off the jacket and handed it to the redhead. “It doesn’t matter how it was discovered, it just needs a little bit of Josie Crowley magic. I’ve seen you bring garments in worse shape than this one back to life, maybe we have another miracle on our hands.”
Josie sighed and took a closer look at the jacket, running her fingers over the cream colored fake leather to assess the damage. There were some holes on the front and the arms and the zipper was falling off at the bottom, but those could be taken care of with some patchwork and embroidery. The seams were also close to falling apart in some places, but there wasn’t anything that could deem the jacket completely unsalvageable. In fact, it was the right amount of beat up that she could use it for another design she had already been planning out for Freddie.
“I don’t think we need a miracle here,” She shrugged, hopping off the counter and digging out her sketchbook from her bag. “Gimme a few days and I can give you a brand new jacket. I already have some ideas in mind.”
Before Freddie or Roger could give either of their input on the jacket, Roger’s phone went off over the stall’s speaker and cut off the music that was playing from Roger’s YouTube app. The blonde leapt up from his place on the couch and disappeared into Josie’s workshop in the back of the stall. The other two shop owners shrugged it off and went back to comparing the design Josie had been sketching, to the jacket’s current worn out state. They started going over details that Freddie wanted when Roger popped out from the back.
“Fred, can you come back here? It’s about the band.” He called back. Freddie got up from his place on the couch next to Josie and disappeared into the tiny backroom where Roger was.
Josie manned the register while her roommates hid in the back to take what she guessed to be a very important phone call. It was a slow day all around in Kensington Market, so the Rag Trade didn’t get as much foot traffic as it usually did. Josie managed to keep herself busy by getting to work with when she heard a wooden clacking noise coming from the stall’s entrance. She pulled her attention away from her work to find that she had a new customer, but instead of browsing around the racks of new and old clothes he looked like he was looking for something specific.
Josie Crowley wasn’t a girl to get easily flustered by a boy, but this guy was about to make an exception. He was tall, really tall for starters. His bright blue NASA jacket was too short for his arms, leaving his wrists exposed to the cold. Loose deep brown framed his long face and brought out the different shades of hazel in his eyes. She studied the details of his face, from how his lips were slightly parted to how the tip of his nose was a rush of pink from the cool fall air, to how his hair fell in front of his eyes.
“Hey,” She regained her composure to greet her potential client. “How can I help you?”
“Yea.” The stranger pulled out a light denim jacket, running his thumb on the worn out seams. “I think you may be just the girl I’m looking for.”
Josie studied the jacket in his hands. It wasn’t in as bad shape as Freddie’s but it looked like it could use some love and care. “Ye-yeah sure, I think?” She reached out for the jacket, which the stranger handed to her. She analyzed the denim and found that it was in better condition than she first thought. “Nice jacket, a little worn but overall in good condition. What do you need done with it?”
“Well I found it in my parent’s attic and my dad said I could take it.” As he explained how he found the jacket, Josie noticed that his cheeks were turning from a light pink to a flushed red. “It fits for the most part but the sleeves are too short. One of my friends suggested that I come to you to get them lengthened.”
Josie examined the sleeves, “Yea I can totally do that. I would have to get some measurements really quick to make sure they don’t end up too long or too short. Do you mind?” Josie gestured towards the stranger before fishing around in her bag to find her measuring tape.
The stranger nodded and put down his bag. Josie placed the measuring tape at the top of his shoulders and took his measurements for both arms, making notes on a blank sheet in her notebook for later.
They tried to make some small talk as she finished up the measurements. “So is there anything else you want done to the jacket besides getting the sleeves lengthened? Maybe even put some of your own customization into it instead of just being a repair?”
“Yea that would be nice.” He laughed. “What do you do for that?”
“Mostly embroidery and patches for denim jackets, but I can do whatever you would like.” She replied, her mind already spinning with ideas.
“Embroidery and patches sound really interesting.” The stranger smiled at her.
“Yea! I can put on anything you want on it.” She continued making notes.
“If you’d like, I can give you my number so if there’s anything else you want done you can just let me know?” She suggested before quickly backtracking. “Unless you think that’s too forward.”
Space boy laughed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “No of course we should swap numbers. I’d love to stay in touch.” He handed his phone over for her to add her number to his contacts.
“I’ll text you later when I get home.” He offered. “It was really nice to meet you today….”
“Josie.” She reached out her hand. “Josie Crowley.”
The stranger reached out and took her hand. “Brian May. It was very nice to meet you Josie.”
“It was nice to meet you too, Brian” Josie felt heat was over her face as she watched Brian walk out of the stall, She kept running her thumbs up and down the worn seams of Brian’s
Unknown Number: Hey, thanks for your help today! I hope this will be an easier way to keep in touch. -Bri
Josie grinned at her screen but was suddenly interrupted by both Roger and Freddie bursting out of the back room, their faces lit up with excitement.
“Jo! You’ll never guess what just happened!” Roger called out, making the redhead jolt up and juggle her phone in her hands.
“Fucking hell Roger,” She gasped, clutching her phone to her chest. “What? You scared the daylights out of me.”
“Oh don’t be so dramatic darling.” Freddie rolled his eyes. “We have incredible news.”
Josie put her phone down on the counter, “What’s up?”
“We got a gig!” Roger exclaimed before Freddie could even open his mouth.
There was a long pause between the three of them. Freddie and Roger’s band, Queen, had been doing gigs around the London pub scene for the past couple months so it wasn’t huge news anymore whenever they got a gig somewhere. So Josie stood staring at her roommates with a confused look on her face.
“What kind of gig?” She broke the silence. “You usually don’t get this excited over one Rog.”
Freddie laughed. “Jo this isn’t any old pub show. This is a legitimate performance! We just heard that we are going to be part of a rising musicians showcase at Royal Albert Hall next month. I sent them our demo last week and they want us to perform!” Josie could tell that Freddie was really excited about this, so she had no choice but to join in on the excitement.
“That’s awesome!” She knew how hard they have been working to take their band to a more serious level, even if she hadn’t been able to make it to one of their shows yet or have even met the other members of the band. “Have you told the other’s yet? Or did they get a call too?”
Roger shook his head. “Not yet, we want to ask you something before we tell them.”
Josie cocked her head to the side out of confusion, she wasn’t part of the band so what would they have to ask her before talking to their bandmates?
“We want you as our band stylist.” Freddie asked. Josie felt her eyes widen and her heart started to pound. She knew that they wouldn’t be able to pay her much or at all since they were barely making it by at Rag Trade as it is, but she knew this would be a huge next step for both them and herself if the band took off.
“I know you hang out with us enough so if you don’t want to we get it.” Roger chirped in, pulling Josie out of her thought process, “But you’re really talented with clothes and we need to look our best for this show so-”
“I’ll do it.” Josie cut him off. “I’m in. I don’t care about money or anything like that. If you want me and the others are cool with it, I’m in.”
Both Freddie and Roger immediately lit up in excitement.
“But I do have one question though,” She added on. “How do you guys exactly expect me to style two guys I haven’t met yet? I can’t style someone that I don’t know, let alone have ever even seen.”
Freddie waived her off. “Don’t worry about that darling. I already alerted them of you joining our team as it was a given that you would say yes. They’ll be meeting with you in a few days since both of them have such busy lives.”
“You can use clothes from Rag Trade!” Roger piped up. “We got some clothes in the back we haven’t put out on the floor yet. We can set aside whatever you pick out to keep for the band.”
Josie blushed from Roger’s offer. “That is very thoughtful of you Rog. I swear that you guys get total input into whatever you wear. The last thing I want is for you to go onstage in something you aren’t comfortable wearing.”
“You don’t have to worry about that Jo,” Roger reassured her. “We know whatever you do is going to be amazing.”
Josie smiled at Roger’s comment. “Thanks guys, I promise I won’t let you down.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the Rag Trade closed down for the night, Josie and the guys made their way back to the small flat the three of them shared a few blocks over. They were immediately greeted by Freddie’s two cats, Miko and Delilah and Josie’s cat, Chip. Freddie and Roger hung out in the flat’s common area while Josie retreated to her room for the night. She changed out of her street clothes into a comfortable oversized t-shirt and shorts before scrubbing off her makeup for the day and climbing into her bed.
Josie pulled out her laptop and started scrolling through Pinterest for ideas not only for Freddie and Brian’s tasks for her, but to also get some tips and inspiration for Queen’s new stagewear, primarily focusing on what she would pick for Freddie and Roger. She was meeting the other members of the band tomorrow to get their measurements and start planning their stagewear for some upcoming shows.
She was soon distracted by Freddie’s newest kitten, Miko, jumping on top of her sketch and demanding attention. He paced around her legs and meowing insistently at the designer until she gave in and replaced the jacket in her lap with the tortoise-shell colored kitten, scratching right behind his ears.
“You’re just like your Daddy, aren’t you?” She laughed. “You know just how to get my attention.”
The kitten purred in content, kneading on her blanket covered legs. Watching Miko knead her lap, Josie reached for her phone and sent a photo to her roommates in the next room.
TO: Oh My God They Were Roommates👀👀
Josie: I have been graced with Miko’s presence, If you need me I will be in my room the rest of the night with him
Freddie: Give back my son
Josie: Never. He’s mine now
Freddie: Traitors, both of you. If you’re taking Miko then I’m taking Chip in return
Josie: Leave Chip out of this, he’s innocent!
Roggie: You two are weird
Freddie: Says the one who’s obsessed with his car
Before Josie could respond to her roommates, she saw a notification from her newest client- Brian.
“Hey it’s Brian. Thank you so much for helping me out today on such a short notice!”
She grinned and immediately switched over to his messages, ignoring the budding argument between her roommates that was going on over text.
Josie: Hey! You’re totally welcome. I should have your jacket all fixed up in the next week or so, feel free to swing by next week and it should be done!
Brian: Thanks! Please let me know whenever you finish it, but there’s no rush! My band just got called about a huge gig so I’ve been a bit preoccupied.
Josie: Oooooooh you’re in a band? What do you play?
Brian: Yea, I play guitar. What about you, do you play any instruments?
Josie: That’s so cool! Unfortunately my talents are more in the design world than the musical world. I do want to learn how to play the guitar someday though
Brian: Well maybe I can teach you sometime
Josie: I would like that. Are you busy this week?
Brian: Not too busy, my band does have a gig next week so I have been held up with rehearsals whenever I’m not busy with my work. It’s nothing big, just a pub by Imperial College. What about you?
Josie: I just got a new long term project to work on so I’m still in the early stages of working on that. And I’m looking at your jacket too for what to do for embroidery or customization besides lengthening the sleeves. Do you have any interests or hobbies that could help?
Brian: Well outside of playing the guitar, I’ve actually been interested in space and astrophysics. I have been actually working part time on getting my PhD in Astrophysics.
Josie mentally exited out of the conversation for a moment and turned back to her . She immediately went to her profile and made a new board that she named “Ideas for Brian”, noting that he really likes space and to look for space themed embroidery prints. She had a few ideas in mind now that she knew for sure that he had a strong interest in space. Josie also made a mental note to see if there was any way that she could combine both space and music into one design to make it special just for him.
“Note: see if Bri has photos of guitar he would like used.” She muttered under her breath as she typed out the note before jumping back into the conversation with Brian.
Josie: Oh wow that’s so cool! I had a feeling that you were into space from your jacket you wore today. And that has to be rough working and finishing a PhD AND being in a band
Brian: Yea I guess it was kinda obvious. Luckily we are on a short holiday right now so I can catch my breath and focus on my music.
Josie: I know how that feels, my last year at uni I thought I was going to break down from burnout by the end.
Brian: What did you study?
Josie: I double majored in apparel design and finance.
Brian: That’s cool, how did you get into two completely different subjects like that?
Josie: It’s a long story, remind me and I’ll tell you about it sometime. I have an early shift at Rag Trade tomorrow and need to get to bed soon.
Brian: Yea, I’m about to head to bed too. Goodnight Josie
Josie: Goodnight Brian, talk tomorrow?
Brian: I look forward to it :)
Josie shifted on her bed in a way that disturbed Miko from his nap in her lap. The kitten meowed at Josie before leaping off her bed and made his way out of her room. She noticed that the light in the common room was now out, so she guessed that Freddie and Roger were both asleep, or at least in their own rooms. She placed her phone on the nightstand right next and plugged it in to charge for the night. As she drifted off to sleep, her mind kept drifting towards the curly haired guitarist she had only met a few hours before.
~~~~~~~~~
Josie spent the next couple days working on Brian’s jacket and focusing on what she was going to do with Freddie and Roger’s band as their new stylist. Unfortunately, she had been so busy with her roommates and her own work that she hadn’t been able to meet the rest of the band. Today, she was finally able to meet the remaining members of Queen.
John, their bassist, was the first of the two to arrive. They were holed up in Josie’s back corner of the store that she used as her spot to meet up with clients. In the first few minutes of their meeting, Josie dubbed John as her favorite member. He was a lot more calm and subdued than Freddie and Roger, which was a relieving change. She learned he was still a student, which is why they haven’t met yet since John was busy with his classes whenever he wasn’t rehearsing or performing with Queen. Josie could barely juggle working here with being in school before she graduated, so she gave him props for going after both the band and an honors electrical engineering degree.
She had her tape measure slung over her shoulder as she leafed through a rack of clothes she picked out for the bassist. “What do you think of this?” She asked, holding up a black silky button down shirt. The chest was covered in small white pearl-like stars to add detail. “Freddie picked this one out, though it would look good for one of your upcoming shows.”
John shrugged, holding the material in his hands. “I don’t know. Are you sure it isn’t too flashy for the band?”
The designer laughed. “You’re in a band with Freddie. He would go onstage in red and white booty shorts and suspenders and nothing else if he could so I wouldn’t worry about you looking too flashy.”
Her comment warranted a small laugh from John. “Yea, I don’t really put that past him. But I really do like that shirt.”
Josie smiled and put it on the rack closest to her that she had labeled “Queen Wardrobe.” She was happy that John was warming up to her and her abilities as a stylist. She had heard from Freddie that the kid would go up on stage in plain jeans and a t-shirt if the frontman would let him. Unfortunately a band that had both Freddie Bulsara and Roger Taylor would never allow such a thing so they always had the bassist borrow clothes from one of the two. She made it her goal to find anything that would help John come out of his shell and stop having to borrow appropriate stagewear from his bandmates, but she still wanted him to be comfortable and have a say in what he wore.
Josie and John ended up deciding on three shirts, a pair of black flare jeans, and a pair of white skinny jeans that were also suggested by Freddie. Josie’s favorite thing that they found was a pair of tan platform boots that John was immediately drawn towards when she first pulled them out. She wrapped the clothes hangers together with a rubber band and tagged them “Deaky” to keep with the nickname Freddie had given him and so she would know they were picked for John. She already did the same for Freddie and Roger and was planning to do the same for their guitarist.
As Josie was setting up for her next client, she heard a familiar clacking enter the shop. She turned to see who it was as Freddie greeted them and she immediately froze in place.
It was Brian.
“Brian! I am so glad you were able to make it darling.” The singer exclaimed, abandoning his post at the counter. Brian still hadn’t noticed Josie yet, even though the Rag Trade wasn’t that big of a shop she was still in the back semi-hidden behind the varying racks of clothes.
“You told me to meet you here for the band.” He answered. “Something about us bri new stage clothes?”
Josie watched as Freddie led him back to her station, she saw the gears turning in Brian’s head as they made their way to the back of the shop. When Brian’s eyes finally laid eyes on the new stylist, he froze in place and his eyes went wide in surprise.
“Brian, I would like to introduce you to Queen’s official stylist, the one and only Josephine Crowley.”
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Christmas Party
Scout was pleased to learn that Christmas was much more of a universal holiday; everyone on the team was familiar with it. Meaning operation Christmas party and gift exchange was ago.
Just like with Halloween, Scout volunteered to be in charge of the party. Back home, he never would’ve dreamed of taking on such a role, but here he was really the only one suited for it as well as the only one who wanted a party bad enough to put up with being the one to organize it. Everything his mother had taught him about throwing a good party was finally being put to good use.
He ran into his first problem when upon going to town to get decorations, he learned that the lizard-aliens did not celebrate any winter holiday – could it still be called that when it wasn’t really winter here? They didn’t even seem to have a season that could be classified as winter – and thus did not sell decorations for such. There were also no pine trees anywhere to serve as Christmas trees. None of which was actually surprising when given any real thought.
“All right,” he said as he turned to Pyro and Engie, the two people who’d volunteered to help him with decorations – Demo and Spy had come to town with them too but Demo had gone off to drink and Spy had vanished shortly after they’d arrived to do who knows what. “We’ll have to improvise on the decorations and find something else to be the Christmas tree. I know a little origami so I could probably make some swan ornaments and if we can get some stuff, like cardboard or something similar shaped the right way, we could paint them to look ornaments and other Christmassy things. But you guys got any ideas?”
“I could probably make a few strings of lights,” Engie offered. “All I’d really need is some coloured glass for the bulbs, everything else I probably got at my workshop on the ship.”
“We could make a fake tree out of metal,” Pyro offered next. “Or we could just use one of the plants around here and then burn it when we’re done.”
“Hmm, let’s go with the first thing,” Scout replied. The only plants of substantial size he’d seen on this planet so far were the purple ones and not only were they ugly he didn’t trust them after Medic and Pyro’s experiment with burning them even if that was a long while a go now. “So, I guess let’s just get some basic art supplies and then maybe some red and green cloth that we can cut up and hang like tinsel kind of like we did for Halloween.”
“Sounds good,” Engie said as Pyro gave a thumbs up in agreement.
-
With the three of them working together, it wasn’t long before they had everything. Pyro helped making ornaments out of paper and cardboard, Scout had taught him how to make origami swans – the only thing he remembered how to make. So they had a quite a few paper swans painted in Christmas colours and themes to hang up on the tree alongside the pieces of cardboard cut and painted to resemble bulb ornaments. The tree itself was made of pieces of straight narrow scrap metal wielded together and spray painted green with a metal star on top, spray painted gold. As a whole it looked pretty odd but still very much like a Christmas tree especially with how well Engie’s special made string of multi-coloured lights turned out.
The rest of the decorations were slightly less good. The ‘tinsel’ barely resembled such. And the papier-mâché wreath Scout had made looked more like a bumpy green doughnut with red and yellow poke dots than a wreath. But whatever, they were limited in what they could do and they’d done their best. The decorations weren’t the most important thing anyway, the gifts and party itself was.
Which was where Scout’s second problem came from; what gifts was he going to get for everyone. He considered them all his friends – even Medic despite their rocky start and Scout’s continued distrust of him in anything involving medical stuff and Spy despite Spy’s standoffishness towards him, less than it had ever been but still there, – so he had to get them all something. And… he wanted to get Sniper something special because… yeah.
He nabbed the team car for a solo trip to town to visit the shopping center in town. Half of it was outside in the desert sand with stalls and lizard-aliens loudly hawking their wares to passersby, not too dissimilar to outdoor shopping centers he was familiar with from back home. The other half was underground though in what seemed to be a cave carved out of the same stone that the buildings were all made out of. It sort of reminded Scout of a mall – though much more cramped and smelling very much of alien reptiles – with how it looped back around on itself. There was even a food court that Scout didn’t dare eat anything at.
Scout hadn’t spent much time here before despite how long they’d been on this planet so he got lost more than once as he wondered around looking for gift ideas. There were some gifts that were obvious, a bottle of nice rum – the alien equivalent of such as far as Scout could tell – for Demo, a fancy lighter for Pyro, a little robot toy for Engie. Upon finding a shop that sold glitter – it was apparently a universe wide phenomenon, infecting everyone everywhere – he got the stuff to make two glitter bombs, one for Spy and one for Medic because honestly, they deserved it. He’d get them something real too though, he wasn’t that much of a jerk. He might’ve gotten the supplies to make one for Pyro too but a) he might’ve enjoyed being showered in glitter, destroying the purpose of the prank and b) on the off chance he didn’t, he wasn’t the kind of person Scout wanted to make angry.
Haggling was expected but difficult because Scout’s grasp of their sign language wasn’t the best and some of them didn’t even know it. Sometimes he had to resort to communicating via pointing, gesturing, and using fingers to count out an offered price. It was a lot of work and exhausting but he somehow managed despite everything. And in the process his grasp of the language got a bit better so win, win.
He saved getting Sniper’s gift for last. It was the most important and therefore the hardest. Should he get a gift that made his crush on Sniper clear and thus use it to finally make a proper move on him? But… should he ever even make a proper move? They were coworkers, weren’t there rules about dating coworkers? And… Sniper probably didn’t even like him back, did he? Making a move might ruin everything Scout had slowly built with him and make everything awkward. So maybe Scout wasn’t ready to give that kind of gift and risk that. But it still had to be a good gift. What though?
The thing Sniper liked the best was his job: sniping. But Scout had gotten him to discuss other interests a few times. Animals was one but not an option as a gift because pets as gifts wasn’t a great idea even if they were alien pets. Camping was another but Scout didn’t know the first thing about camping so what would he even get Sniper for that? That didn’t leave him with many options.
Maybe a stuffed animal would do? But would that be too flirty? … And so far, if any store or stall sold stuffed animals, Scout hadn’t seen it and he’d been around the whole shopping center, underground and above ground, at least twice now. And he didn’t really have time to look specifically for that, he had to get back to base soon, he’d already been gone for almost three hours now. Meaning he had to settle for something soon.
With a grimace, he picked up his walking pace. He had to find something good soon, he just had to.
-
A bit more than an hour later, he finally returned to base. Spy appeared before him as he stepped out of the car.
“Where’d you go?” he asked as if it were any of his business.
“Christmas shopping,” Scout answered as he slammed the car door shut. He pulled all his shopping bags close to make sure Spy couldn’t peek into them without making his intent to do so obvious. “I got you something too, don’t worry.”
“Oh.” Spy’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “What is it?”
Scout couldn’t help a mischievous smile coming to his face. “You’ll have to wait and see. And don’t you dare sneak into my room to try peek before Christmas.” If anyone would do that, it’d be Spy. “I’m going wrap them right away and I’m going to boobytrap the hiding spot so don’t even try it.”
“I wasn’t going to,” Spy said, speaking just a bit too fast; he’d for sure been thinking about it. “I don’t care anyway.” He made a dismissive hand gesture towards Scout before vanishing.
-
The big day was finally here and Scout couldn’t be more excited. Especially since, Christmas was so much of a recognized holiday that the Administrator gave them a whole two weeks off for it. Miss Pauling even showed up for the party, meaning Scout’s party was basically already as success.
There was food and drink on one table. Most of the ‘food’ was sweets: cupcakes, a whole cheesecake, and lots of gingerbread in the form of gingerbread men as well as a lopsided house, all of which was made by Heavy and Pyro. Unfortunately, they’d run out of normal alcohol, leaving them with only the alien stuff meaning Scout had to stick to plain old water from the ship’s purification system like some kind of boring nerd. He could’ve let Demo bring a jug of his homebrewed moonshine too but… he’d tried it once and it was nasty. So by the end of the night he was probably going to be the only one sober other than Pyro and probably Spy – Spy seemed to avoid the alien alcohol too for some reason. Which meant he should probably hand out the gifts he’d got for everyone before the party dragged on too long.
He went to Demo and Soldier, drinking playing cards together first.
“Oh,” Demo said as Scout handed him his gift and then Solider his. “Laddie, you didn’t have to. Most people in our line of work will throw a party but… not always do the gift thing.”
“I know,” Scout replied. “I ain’t that kind guy though. I love Christmas and you guys put me in charge of this whole party so… I had to. I don’t except anything in return though, don’t worry.” He’d just wanted to get his new friends stuff.
“Don’t complain maggot,” Soldier said. “Just say ‘thank you’ and open your gift.” He was already following that advice, pulling the small pet sweater that would hopefully fit Lt. Bites out of the box. He gasped at the sight of it. “Is this what I think it is?” he asked, looking back up at Scout.
“Uh… depends on what you think it is. But I thought you might like to put it on your raccoon.” Everyone had long since given up trying to convince Soldier that Lt. Bites wasn’t a raccoon.
“I will go put it on her immediately.” Soldier stood up and rushed out of the room. He’d probably return with her on his shoulder soon which wasn’t great, she still liked to hiss at people who weren’t Soldier. But whatever, she rarely bit anyone anymore despite her name so it would probably be fine.”
“Oh wow,” Demo said, drawing Scout’s gaze back to him. He’d too opened his gift and pulled out the bottle, undisguised joy on his face. “This is the good stuff, for this planet anyway, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” So far everything was turning out fantastic.
Next, he went to Pauling and Heavy, chatting in a corner while enjoying some gingerbread and alcohol. Just like Demo, they were both a bit surprised to be receiving a gift from him. But…
“Is very nice, thank you,” Heavy said upon pulling out the set of kitchen knives Scout had gotten for him because he was the person on the team who cooked the most.
For Pauling he’d gotten a toy space ship because he really did not know what else to get her. He didn’t know her as well as he knew everyone else on the team due to how busy she was always was. She seemed pleased with it though, smiling as she pulled it out of its little box. “Thank you.”
After chatting with them for a bit longer, he moved onto to Spy – he couldn’t hold back his anticipation for the glitter bomb much longer – and Engie. Everyone seemed to be hanging out in pairs right now which was just fine with him, it made the whole gift giving thing a tad easier.
“Hey guys,” he said as he sidled up to them, making sure to be closer to Engie than Spy. “Merry Christmas!” He pulled out the gifts labelled for them and handed them over.
“Uh… wasn’t expecting it but thanks,” Engie said.
“Yes, I suppose a thanks is in order,” Spy said before going straight to unwrapping his. Wrapping paper gone, it was time to lift the lid and… boom, the glitter bomb went off, spraying glitter everywhere, especially on Spy.
It was hilarious. The glare he turned on Scout once it was over made it impossible not to laugh. Even Engie chuckled.
“I shouldn’t be surprised,” Spy said, voice dripping with venom.
Scout rained in his laughter enough to answer. “There’s a real gift in there too, under all the glitter.”
Still glaring daggers at Scout, Spy upended the box into his hand. “A knife,” he said once enough of the remaining glitter fell away to reveal it. “Great. … You have any idea how hard this stuff is to clean up?”
“Well uh…”
“I need a shower,” Spy interrupted before vanishing. But, the glitter was still visible, clinging to him and making him not very invisible at all. It was just too good; another burst of laughter bubbled up in Scout.
“He kept the knife with him though,” Engie said once Spy was gone. “So at least he likes that part of the gift… I think. That maybe wasn’t a great idea though, he’s going to mad now.”
“Whatever.” Scout wasn’t worried about that “It’s his own fault for being a jerk. But like, open your gift now, it doesn’t have any glitter in it because I wouldn’t do that to you.”
Engie grunted in response as he finished unwrapping his present. “Ah cute,” he said in response to the little robot. “Thanks.”
“You’re very welcome,” Scout replied before turning to face everyone else as they gathered to investigate the commotion. Pyro went straight to playing in the glitter on the floor, crouching down to run his gloved hand through it. Yep, not getting him a glitter bomb had been a good idea.
“Did you really have to set off a glitter bomb in here?” Pauling asked, giving him a slight frown.
“I’ll clean it up, I promise.” Scout would never dream of doing otherwise. Glitter bombs being a favourite prank of his and his bros, he had a good amount of experience in cleaning up the after math of them on a variety of different surfaces.
But while everyone else was gathered here, he reached into his bag to pull out Pyro and Medic’s gifts. He quickly handed them to their recipients before retreating. While he trusted Spy not to hurt him for the prank – as harsh as his words could be sometimes, he’d never once actually done anything to Scout – he wasn’t so sure about Medic and he didn’t want to risk anything. Under the glitter bomb in Medic’s gift was a bag of treats for his dragons but that probably wouldn’t earn him much forgiveness so it was best to get out and hide for it a bit.
On his way, he hooked an arm through Sniper’s – he’d been on the fringe of the group – pulling him with him. Sniper just sort of let him, not saying anything even when they exited the room and Scout brought him outside and around back instead.
“Let me guess,” Sniper said when Scout finally pulled them to a stop when they were behind the building. “You put a glitter bomb in Medic’s gift too and you’re afraid of him so you ran away before he could open it?”
“Bingo,” Scout replied. “But it’s not that I’m afraid,” it kind of was though but that made him sound weak, “it’s more, I don’t want to give him a possible reason to try to dissect me again.”
Sniper raised an eyebrow. “’Again’?”
“Eh, it’s a long story, don’t worry about it.” Scout didn’t want to talk about it and that was a while ago now so who would even believe him? Especially since the scars were mostly faded. “Anyway, I brought you out here with me because I still need give you your gift.” And because he wanted some alone time with him but he couldn’t admit to that.
He reached into his bag one last time to pull out the final gift and handed it to Sniper. Who accepted after a second or two of staring it uncomfortably with a slight grimace.
“I uh… didn’t get you anything,” he said.
“It’s fine,” Scout assured him. “I didn’t expect anyone would. I just did it because I wanted to. Open it though, I need to know if you like it. And uh I promise it’s not glitter.”
“That uh… kinda makes me worry that it might be glitter. But…” He trailed off with a shrug before removing the wrapping paper. He as bit more cautious with lifting giftbox’s lid, holding a bit far away from his body. When it became obvious that nothing bad was going to happen though, he pulled it close again to look inside and pull out the gift.
“Oh,” he said, holding it up to the light. “It’s nice.”
“You really think so?” Scout had looked and looked for something good before coming upon that badass tooth necklace. He had no idea what animal the teeth came from, only that they were large, pointed, and looked cool. Conjuring up an image of Sniper wearing it wasn’t hard either, it fit his general aesthetic.
“Yeah,” Sniper said. “I always wanted a shark tooth necklace. Though I suppose these ain’t from a shark, not the right shape and on an alien planet.” He briefly removed his hat to slip it on over his head. “Thanks though, I like it.”
“Awesome.” Scout almost had to hold back a sigh of relief. He’d been more nervous about this than he’d thought. But it had gone well, heck everything had gone well. And as a cherry on top, to avoid Medic’s wrath for a bit, he could get away with spending an hour or two alone with Sniper out here before going back inside to enjoy the rest of the party.
#My Writing#Team Fortress 2#TF2#My AU#Space AU#space mercenaries au#Scout/Sniper#Scout & Spy#Alien Spy#Fluff#Christmas Fluff#christmas party#Gift Giving#glitter bombs#12 Days of Christmas#day 12
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I Feel It In My (Magnetic) Core
Darcyland Crack Challenge 2019 | Day 4: Must Include Magnets |
Ship: Darcy Lewis/Leo Fitz | Word Count: 1946 | Rating: E | Other Tags: Mutual Pining, Crushes, Magnets, Inappropriate Erections, Making out, Frottage, | Prompt: Day 4: Must include magnets | Word Count: 1946
Summary:
"God, I'm sorry! I'll try not to move it! So sorry. God…" Darcy concentrated on not moving her hand.
"Somehow that's worse," Fitz groaned, rubbing his hand over his face. "And I'm the one who's sorry, you didn't ask for this."
Pretty sure no one asks for this.
That's what Darcy's thinking as her ring remains attached to the button on Fitz's pants.
But it's really not as dire as either of them think. Their attraction is stronger than any magnet, anyway.
Darcy didn't usually pick up coffee for just anyone. Sure, she started out as the resident gopher, but she only grabbed caffeinated goodness for a select few people. Jane was one. Fitz was another. She also got Bruce his tea, but she was pretty sure he hadn't noticed that she'd been promoted and it had been too long now to correct him. Plus, he was super nice about it. How do you say no to the most polite-person, ever, right? Super plus, his tea was non-caffeinated, so she technically only got the good stuff for a few people.
Anyway, she stopped off in the engineering lab-slash-workshop with Fitz's fave. A double-shot plain latte with soy.
"I come bearing espresso…" she called as she let herself into the lab.
"You know, I was just going to head down to get some, but I was sidetracked…" Fitz responded, bending at the waist over the counter to hold an orange disk out at arm's length away. There were five or six pennies stationed at the opposite end of the surface. When he tapped his phone screen with the opposite hand, the pennies shot straight to the orange disk and he grinned widely, glancing up at her before tapping his screen again. That switched off whatever was in the orange disk because the pennies fell to the countertop with a clatter again.
"Some kind of something that attracts… zinc?" she guessed, handing him his coffee.
"Well. Yes, but it's more."
"How much more? Lemme have it, Fitz." She didn't really have to know, but she was curious. Plus, Fitz always got this big goofy grin on his face when he explained something scientific, and Darcy might have had the teeniest, tiniest, mostly professional crush on the young doctor and that goofy grin of his.
"The disk is controllable via an app, but it basically alters its molecular makeup to make it magnetic to whatever metal you can imagine. I have settings for anything and everything."
"Not all metals are magnetic, though. Like zinc," she gestured to the pennies. "Sooo…"
"Ha, the known metals on earth," he countered. "This disk is made of something not of this earth and it can be magnetically attracted to every known metallic atom."
"How?"
Fitz pursed his lips briefly. "Well, that I don't know. But it's really cool, right? It's going to be used for defense or lock picking or some such nonsense, but I'd like to make one of my own. To hold all my bits and bobs and…" he stopped talking and took a sip from his coffee. "You're not interested in that, I'd wager."
"No. I have a healthy interest in your bits and bobs…" Darcy said, grinning a little as she tugged a stool over to sit down. He either didn't catch the flirty tone of her voice, or he was too deep in the science of it all to register anything flirtatious.
"In addition, I can use the disk to briefly alter a metal to make it magnetic to everything of its own type. Like a piece of iron could attract all other pieces of iron. A piece of steel could attract all others with its molecular makeup. It'll be useful for cleanup. Crashes. Salvage. That sort of thing…"
"Whoa. Cool. Demo?"
"Sure, here… " He reached for her hand, touching the orange disk to the ring on her right ring finger for a moment. "Give me just a moment for the disk to scan you and--"
Her hand shot out, dinging slightly when it hit its target. Fitz grunted and glanced down at Darcy's hand, which was now stuck fast to the front of his pants.
He exhaled slowly. "Darcy?"
"I didn't do it!" she exclaimed. "I promise. I'd never grope your crotch without asking."
His face shot up briefly. "What? Wha… wh--- so you'd do it with permission, that what you're saying?" His voice got all high pitched and panicky and if Darcy wasn't just a few ticks past freaking out herself, she'd stop and admire him for being so utterly adorable and Scottish.
"That's totally not what I meant, I just meant I wouldn't. I'd never…" She yanked her hand, which only succeeded in yanking him with it. Hips first, of course. "Turn it off, Fitz."
"I'm trying! It's-still-in-development-technically-so-things-like-this-still-happen." He was speaking just as rapidly as before, so she had to squint to decipher everything he said. It was difficult when it was all strung together like it was.
"Deep breath, Fitz," she said. "You gotta slow down, or I won't be able to understand you."
He took a long, deep breath and released it.
She continued. "You said the metal's only magnetic briefly, how brief is the usual stint?"
"Ten minutes or so, usually how long it would take for someone salvaging the metal to scoop up the mass, and then it wears off and everything unsticks."
"Okay, so we just have to wait ten minutes, right?"
"Well, normally we would. But since I was testing this, I rose the time limit."
"To what?"
He covered his face with his hands. "Aroundtwohours..." The words came out jumbled and muffled by his hands, but she could still make it out.
She exhaled, glancing down at her ring, her right palm splayed right over the zipper on his corduroys. "Deep breaths, you're speaking in cursive again."
He sucked a breath in and released it again, a little quicker than before, but it still helped. "What I don't understand is why your ring attracted the button on my trousers… I just… my trouser buttons aren't made from anything you'd make jewelry from."
"My ring's made of a zinc alloy. Janey had it made for me out of a scrap of our first mobile lab. Apparently, your trouser button is made of the same material… which is interesting, to say the least," she said, bordering on a full-on nervous ramble.
Fitz crossed his arms, his lips all but disappeared as he pressed them in a thin line. "Is it, Darcy? Is it interesting? Really?"
"Why don't you sit down? I'll go with you to grab a stool or something. Or just take your pants off. I won't look, I promise. I can even get an intern to go grab some of Bruce's extras for you to borrow until yours fall off my ring."
"That… that…" he shook his head. He was looking increasingly flustered and Darcy, for the life of her couldn't figure out why. Sure, this was an embarrassing predicament, but it wasn't as if it were becoming more embarrassing or anything. He was wearing underwear, most likely, and she wasn't going to look. Her little crush notwithstanding. She wasn't into ogling someone's underwear without their explicit permission.
He shifted again and suddenly it dawned on her.
Or pressed against her hand, rather. It was pressing rather stiffly against her thumb and forefinger, effectively tenting his trousers and becoming more and more impossible to ignore by the second.
He had to realize she'd notice, which explained his increasing frustration levels. Frustration on all fronts.
"Oh!" She tried to yank her hand back out of instinct, but again, it was stuck. Fitz jolted forward with her hand, closing his eyes and sighing heavily.
She scrambled for something to say. Something to make it better. "Oh geez. I'm sorry. Fitz. Really, it's not a big deal. I mean… I don't mean to say it's not big, but--"
If nothing else worked, maybe her rambling would. It was enough of a bucket of cold water to usually cool off anyone unfortunate enough to be paired with her on Tinder, so.
"Darcy… it's not your fault."
"God, really!" she continued, unstoppable in her awkwardness. " I'm sorry! I'll try not to move it! So sorry. God…" Darcy concentrated on not moving her hand. On not feeling the rapidly, almost impossibly, hardening… shaft-- God why am I like this?--beneath her fingers.
"Somehow that's worse," Fitz groaned, rubbing his hand over his face. "And I'm the one who's sorry, you didn't ask for this. Please stop apologizing."
"Maybe we could try not talking about it?" she offered. Seriously. This was a case of friction, right? Any dude would have this same problem. They just needed to diffuse the situation. Get him thinking about something else. Then, the problem would… shrink, and he could slip off his pants and then it'd be so much less awkward.
Fitz just shook his head, leaning back against the counter and taking Darcy with him.
"Seriously. Dude. It's just me. Just me. It's--"
"That's the problem, Darcy. It's you."
She blinked rapidly, trying to ascertain the meaning of his words. It was her. Why was that the problem? Did he… did he find her repulsive?
Her train of thought must have shown on her face because he quickly tried to explain further. "No, Darcy… you're the reason it's… in the state it's in." He looked down to where her hand was resting. He took his bottom lip between his teeth for a short moment. He looked up into her eyes. "I'm very fond of you. Feels like an understatement, considering…"
Darcy's mouth felt dry, so she snapped it closed, musing over his words. "So you… you fancy me?" Borrowing one of his words felt apropos, given their predicament.
He huffed out a laugh, smiling and blushing an even darker red. "Yes. You sound surprised, and I thought I was being obvious."
Darcy moved slightly closer, close enough to feel the heat radiating off his body. To feel the waves of his nervousness. "I thought I was being obvious. Bringing you coffee, hanging on your every word. I mean, it's not difficult to hang on your every word, you're really interesting, but still…"
He made some kind of nervous sound, leaning to brace his hands on the counter behind him.
She moved to close the distance between them. She pressed her lips to his and he jolted. His arms stiffened as he leaned more into the kiss, even after Darcy broke it off, he chased after her, eyes dark. He smiled. "That's not helping matters in the slightest, I hope you know."
"I do," she said, smiling devilishly and moving her hand. Just slightly. Increasing the pressure until she had it wrapped loosely around him in his trousers.
He swallowed thickly, his throat bobbing as she leaned closer still, pressing her lips against his throat while she tightened her hold. "This okay?"
He gripped the counter and nodded. "Fuck yes, that's fine…"
She kissed her way up the column of his throat, lingering at his jaw until he cupped her chin with one hand so he could hold her still and kiss her deeply. His other arm snaked around her waist, pulling her flush against his body and trapping her hand between them.
A moan caught in his throat as he stopped abruptly, hurriedly breaking off the kiss. "Just one moment," he murmured, reaching for his phone and tapping against the screen a few times. Her hand suddenly dropped from his trousers, the weight of it tugging her wrist.
"My apologies. I promise I was paying attention. Just had a sudden thought…"
Darcy leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss him again. "FRIDAY, can you lock down Dr. Fitz's lab, please?"
"Of course Ms. Lewis," the A.I agreed smoothly.
"Is it okay if I put my hand back where it was?" Darcy whispered, inhaling sharply when Fitz nuzzled her nose with his, her lips scant centimeters from his.
"As long as I can do something with mine…" His lips brushed against hers when he spoke.
"I was hoping you'd say that…"
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Submit To Me!
All professions are riddled with systemic flaws that everyone knows about, and yet very little is done to fix them. For playwrights and musical theatre writers the systemic flaw that I hear complained about the most is the submissions process.
Now, these complaints are completely justified. The problem with the system is…well, there isn’t one.
In the professional theatre world - at least where play and musical submissions are concerned - it’s a total free-for-all. (and not the enjoyable kind, like a lovely game of Super Smash Bros. on the good ole Nintendo 64! …no? just me being a video game dinosaur? oh coo, cool…)
And like most problems, this one gets completely ignored and nothing is really done to change it. Well, I won’t say completely ignored. Writers talk about this all the time - how messy, inconsistent, biased, and often expensive the submission process can be (yes, many come with attached fees). But the people who have the power to do something about it (aka the Theaters and the theatrical community members who receive submissions) either don’t want to change the way they do things, don’t want to engage in the discussion, don’t have the time, or aren’t aware that there is a better way to go about all of this.
And there is a better way, isn’t there?
“Opportunity Is Not A Lengthy…whoa, but there are so many opportunities!”
For those of you who are not theatre writers and have never gone through the process, here’s a little peak into the world of submissions.
The first thing to note is what types of opportunities you can submit for. There’s:
Competitions - Prizes are usually monetary, but sometimes also come with readings, workshops, or (in rare cases) full productions. And the institutions may cover your travel to see the fruits of this, or they may not.
Festivals - Festivals range: geographically, in numbers of participants, in what is provided, in how many performances are allotted, in administrative and creative support from the organization, and in fees to participate. But what they all have in common is that, at the end of the day, you either need to have a producer raising the money for you or you will be producing this yourself. And they range from your local Fringe festival to Edinburgh to NYMF.
Residencies - Generally these are lovely retreat-style blocks of time set aside for a writer or writing team to go somewhere secluded and pretty, and to get a great deal of work done without the pressures and stressors of regular life. Often room and board is covered, though not always, and sometimes you are provided with access to rehearsal space, recording equipment, full living access, other artists, and/or a presentation gathering of some sort at the end of the stay.
Conferences - These include the “biggies” like NAMT and the O’Neill. Conferences are like a mixture between a residency and a festival - you reside in a place for the length of the conference and workshop your material, and at the end there is a large presentation. The larger conferences are highly sought after due to the fact that they attract producers and industry professionals looking for projects to take on.
Theaters and Theatre Companies - Although there is a sizable difference in the result of submitting to a large regional equity house versus your friend’s small theatre company that started last week, in both cases you are submitting to an entity that you hope will take on the burden of producing your material for you (in comparison with self-producing, as in a festival). These entities all have mission statements and many of them also have specific new works programming, and if your material fits what they are looking for then you can submit with the hope of getting programmed into a future season.
New Works Development Opportunities - Many of these are part of a Theater or Theatre Company’s set path to producing new material. The opportunities might be a reading, a workshop, a script analysis, a staged reading, etc., or there may be tiers of opportunities that you will be considered for. And if you are accepted, then the participants in these opportunities are then put in a pipeline of consideration for the one new works production slot for the following season. Though each theatre company treats their own programs quite differently, and these can vary greatly.
Awards - Much like competitions…well, really these are competitions. But like a theatre company, awarding entities come with mission statements that specify what kind of artists and what kind of works they are looking to award. And the awards are monetary and often quite large. For instance, the Kleban Award ($100,000) is specifically for musical theatre Librettists and Lyricists (two separate awards). Other times the work must fit within specific parameters, or the artists must be from a certain geographical area or ethnic background.
People - Producers or artists in whom you are interested. Generally, these submissions are more personal and have no parameters, and they only tend to be successful when you already have a connection to the person you’re contacting.
Cold Submissions - There are thousands and thousands of theatrical entities out there, and sometimes they have no submission policies whatsoever. Maybe that means they don’t take submissions, or maybe it just means they have no official policy for them. Cold submitting an inquiry rarely works out unless you have a connection to someone at the theatre, in which case it’s probably better to submit to the person than the entity. Well, that’s my opinion at least!
And that is just the spread of what exists out there that you could possibly submit to. Whoa. Right?
And let us keep in mind that this is you - the writer - submitting to these places. Unless you are lucky and/or rich enough to have a secretary that does this for you, then you are the person looking through all of these opportunities, checking websites, researching people and theaters, making lists of deadlines, writing up all of the submission materials and statements and cover letters, and sending the emails or filling out the online forms. That’s a lot of time and work.
But never fear! There are websites dedicated to helping writers find submission opportunities and that give the deadlines so you can plan on when and how to submit!
Now, granted, some of these websites are really looking to make money off of you and this information (paying for subscriptions and whatnot). And some are far more comprehensive than others. But the Dramatists Guild Submissions Calendar and Play Submission Helper are probably the most comprehensive of the sites for American submissions, and both are quite helpful.
“I’ll take…one with everything - but hold the synopsis!”
So what exactly do the writers submit? What are the limitations or parameters?
Well, if you thought they types of submission opportunities were varied, then just you wait (Henry Higgins)!
The first thing I will point out is that many of these submissions to the more prominent institutions and producing entities are agent submission only. Theatrical writing agents are not nearly as plentiful as acting agents, which really limits the groups that are able to submit to these places. Which is of course the point. Sometimes there will be a way to submit an inquiry if you don’t have representation, but more often than not you are simply out of luck. Rough times. (“No Submission Without Represen-tition…!”???)
Another limitation that might exist is needing the accompaniment of a professional recommendation letter to your submission - preferably from a recognized theatrical institution. There can be even more restrictions than this, but they aren’t as common as the agent restriction.
But if there is a submission policy that is open to the general theatrical writing public, then there are myriad types of materials that might be requested of you. This list below will include a mix of information that might be asked of both playwrights and musical theatre writers:
Log Line - A one-sentence description of the show and its themes. Not quite a tag line or hook, and also not quite a synopsis. These are pretty rare outside of in-person pitches.
Short Synopsis - These are almost always restricted to a certain word count. For instance, The King’s Legacy has different short synopsis versions in: 100 words, 150 words, 250 words, and 500 words. Writers must do their best to summarize the plot, main characters, and themes of their shows within these word counts.
Treatment/1-Page Synopsis - A little more lenient than the short synopsis - though strict on the page limitation - these synopses are the opportunity for the writer to give a full blow-by-blow of the entire plot for their show. Now is the time to say exactly what happens, when, and how. No worries about mystery or spoilers here - they want to know the ending.
10-Page Dialogue Sample - A small sampling of the feel of the show. Generally best to start at the beginning if you can, but if that doesn’t show off the piece at its best, then it can be acceptable to choose ten pages from elsewhere in the script.
20-Page Dialogue Sample - These should definitely start at the beginning. If you aren’t showing off your best work in the first twenty pages, it might be time to give the top of the show another pass.
Lyrics with Descriptions - For musical submissions these are fairly common. Choose [2/3/4/6/8/12] songs from your show (yes, I’ve had all of those restrictions at some point) to send. They want the full lyric to the song, but with a detailed description of the characters, plot placement, and other context.
Music Demos - Again, the number of these may vary. Most submissions are very forgiving on the quality of the recording as long as the music isn’t garbled and the lyrics are understandable. Occasionally you are allowed to send demos for the entire show!
Links to Media - Many online forms will include a box to add links to other media, though this generally means Videos if you have them. Youtube links, or a link to a Video page or a playlist, are great items to have!
Production History - Exactly like it sounds. It’s a list of where and when the show has been produced. If it has not yet been produced, or has only had a couple full productions, then provide a list of where it has been developed, in what manner, and when.
Other Relevant Materials - This is the space to add in any of the other materials that this submission did not specifically ask for. Or this is a great place to include a link to your website if you have one (and you should!).
Artist Bio or Resume - It’s always one or the other, not both. Why? I am unsure. But have these handy always!
Artistic Statement - Now we come to the parts that take the most time per submission. Artistic Statements are basically personal essays that speak to who you are as an artist, what your goals are, and why you do what you do. They must also be catered toward the place you are submitting to, particularly if they have a mission statement readily available.
Letter of Intent - Similar to an Artistic Statement, but these are usually laid out for you with specific questions to answer in the body of the letter. (ie. Tell us about…? Why our theatre? What do you hope to accomplish with this opportunity? etc.) It’s part Cover Letter, part Artistic Statement.
Cover Letter - Or Letter of Inquiry. These are used to introduce yourself, speak about how you found the opportunity and why you are interested, and to introduce the piece you are submitting. Generally, less than one page is desirable for these letters. And sometimes this is just the email that precedes all of the asked-for submission materials.
Full Script (and Score) - You lucky duck! They’re going to read your show! Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen nearly as often as we all would like.
Blind Materials - Sometimes theaters ask for any of the above-mentioned materials without the writer’s name, for a more fair and unbiased judging of submissions. There aren’t a ton of opportunities that ask for this, but it’s good to have blind copies available just in case.
Dizzy yet?
These materials can be (and are!) asked for in any combination without even a semblance of consistency between the submission processes. And because every submission opportunity is different, it takes a great deal of time to write up every submission that you send out. Not to mention that you want to have done your research and personalized the submission as much as possible.
*Tip: Keep track of your submissions in a document! Write down what you sent, to whom, and on what date. It’s great to be able to reference back!!
Can We Consolidate?
As you see, this is a mess of a system. So the question becomes: can we consolidate all of this information?
Well, there is an entity out there who is trying to do just that! They are called The New Play Exchange. Their mission is essentially to be the hub where writers go to upload their pieces and all attached materials, where submission opportunities go to post and search out what they are looking for, and where producers and directors can go to search out scripts of a certain criteria so they can read what they are interested in. It’s a fantastic idea, but it’s definitely still in its youth and will need more time to make a greater impact.
I don’t know what any other answers may be, but if there was a standard submission packet that everyone took for every opportunity, it would make the theatrical world far more productive. Writers wouldn’t have to spend so much of their writing time doing specific and varied submissions, and institutions would know exactly what they are going to receive from writers (whether or not they care to look at all of it). All I know is, there must be a better way.
I could say oodles more about submitting to opportunities, but I think I’ll leave it here for now. Honestly, I have two submission opportunities in my inbox right now and, well, that means I’ve got some deadlines to hit!
Until next time, folks!
#glamorous life blog#glamorous life#guideline#theatre#theatre artist#theater#script#schedule#submission#artist#opportunity#synopsis#treatment#writer#playwright#writing process#writing#composer#lyricist#librettist#demo#lyrics#competition#festival#residency#conference#theatre comapny#new works#development#award
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Canjam Jams
Canjam is a one of a kind experience. Organised by Head-fi, these annual events are a unique space where audiophiles and their favourite manufacturers gather from all over the world to see, touch and hear the latest and coolest gear. For just those two days, you’ll be able to find yourself talking to the Japanese amp engineers one minute, and trying out Polish custom earphones the next. It’s a feast for the ears. But that raises the question - as we look for gear to listen with, what do we listen to?
Even in the very lively public space of Canjam, the act of listening to a track remains quite individual. I couldn’t help but wonder, what are the songs flowing through cables and drivers all over the room? For us audiophiles, what is the song we choose to press play on? So I went around Canjam Singapore 2019 and asked:
“When you have your favourite setup, what’s the first, go-to, favourite song you play?”
Below you’ll find responses from attendees, engineers, brand reps and distributors. Some interpreted this to mean test tracks, while others shared with me their favourite jams. The question phrasing is admittedly clunky, but I was hoping to get at that feeling where you listen to a song, and something clicks inside your heart. About that feeling when you unbox that latest buy and pick your first song to play for maximum pleasure. It’s not an easy thing to put into words, and after all, everyone has their own version of it. Nonetheless, I hope you’ll find this insightful in some way, and my heartfelt thanks goes to all those below who were kind enough to talk with me. In no particular order:
(Spotify playlist here)
Marco, Focal/Absolute Sound: Soulwax - Is it Always Binary. “And Queens of the Stone Age is good too.” With a background in producing electronic music, the pacing and beats on this Soulwax cut are something he really digs and listens for.
Megane, Focal: Diana Krall - Temptation, for the vocals, and Jennifer Warnes - Rock You Gently for that deep bass.
Kenneth, Focal/Absolute Sound: The Reddings - The Awakening Part 1. “Especially that bass slap.” He’s not one to pigeonhole himself into a single genre, but if he had to pick one this would be it. They usually leave the album on a loop for demo, so it’s one the whole crew’s gotten pretty familiar with, and for good reason - it’s an absolute banger. He also recommends the subsequent songs on the record: Doin’ It which has vocals, and I Want It for a slower mood. “But ultimately,” he adds, “if you don’t enjoy the song, what’s the point right?”
Lovin, Wired for Sound: Nobuo Uematsu - The Man with the Machine Gun (Distant Worlds Orchestral Version) “If the headphone can play this song without any problems, I’ll buy it.” He likes how the song takes you through the whole spectrum. Fast, slow, quiet, loud - all in 3 and a half minutes. He was kind enough to let me listen to it on his player, and it really gave my IEMs a workout. A very dynamic, energetic piece.
Takatoshi Seto, Acoustune: He responded instantly - ONE OK ROCK. Asked which song exactly, he had to think for a bit, then decided on one of their latest releases, Stand Out Fit In.
Andreas Schmitt, InEar: He paused, deep in thought. “Ok, you know what are...classics?” Then looked me deliberately in the eyes as he listed each of the following: Adele - Hello, Yello - Limbo, Klaus Bedelt - He’s A Pirate, Tchaikovsky - Swan Lake (Berliner Philharmoniker), Herbie Hancock - Cantaloupe Island.
Antony, Music Sanctuary: At first he took it to mean test tracks, but when I rephrased and asked him what puts a smile on his face, what he jams out to, he just lit up and responded with Twenty One Pilots - Fairly Local. Such bass power.
Ito-san, Kumitate Lab’s engineer: He truly had a tough time deciding, as he will have a set of as many as 20 to 30 songs for tuning each IEM model he makes, and that each set is unique and diverse with songs stretching across decades and genres. I then asked if there’s a song that shows up more than most, or that he keeps coming back to, and after much thought and some banter with his colleagues in Japanese, he replied that there is one song he likes to use to test dynamic driver bass specifically - Yonezu Kenshi’s 打上花火 (Uchiage Hanabi). “If the bass is not tuned correctly, you can hear it in the rumbling.” For bass-treble balance, he listens to BUMP OF CHICKEN - ファイター (Fighter). Just a note, this song isn’t available on Spotify for me, so it isn’t in the playlist, but it is uploaded on youtube here .
Kyo, Final Audio: “Ah...hmm...I think you may not know this singer...she is not really famous outside Japan.” He really enjoys female vocals - no surprise that he’s with Final then - and his first pick is MACO - Love for enjoyment, but also for testing because it’s usually on the top of his recently played list anyway.
Chingan, Final Audio: Lady Gaga - Always Remember Us This Way. This song is what’s on rotation for now, he likes to listen to the wide soundstage and fine details within.
Albert, fellow attendee: Hailing from Indonesia, Albert shared that Hoff Ensemble - Hva Skal Hende Nå is one of his Top 3 songs to listen to. They’re a Norwegian band, and this album is aptly titled Quiet Winter Night.
Piotr Granicki, Custom Art: FIBAE Black, the single-BA-that-does-not sound-like-one, went through over 20 iterations, and I decided to ask if there was a go-to song Piotr would use through that long tuning process. Like Ito-san, he had a tough time settling on one, saying that he tries to keep a big variation so that you know the IEM will handle a wide variety of things well. But, he kept coming back to Cane Hill - Singing in the Swamp. He would listen out for “this point about 30s in, where with just a drum beat, everything changes, and it becomes really loud.” Interestingly, unlike Ito-san, Piotr keeps more or less the same set of tracks in rotation across his models, so he can compare across his lineup more easily. I do wish I’d asked him though, whether listening to Singing in the Swamp gives him flashbacks of late nights at his workshop tuning up the FIBAE Black. Oh well, maybe next Canjam.
Herbert Zheng, Moondrop: Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 27, Mitsuko Uchida on piano. “Hey, she was actually very pretty when she was young,” says Herbert as I point to the album cover on Spotify. Classical music is the genre he mainly enjoys, but he chuckles and shares how working in the audio industry has messed with his listening habits. “We try to tune for the general audience, so we will look at everything in a customer’s playlist and just listen through the whole thing.” Which for him meant a lot of mandopop, since in China most western music and streaming platforms aren’t available. After all the pop though classical is still a mainstay in his playlist, alongside some J-pop nowadays (looking through the playlist, he actually recognised Uchiage Hanabi, though he knows it by the chinese pronounciation of the characters - da shang hua huo.) For this concerto he stressed that one has to listen to all three movements - though the first and third are his personal favourite.
Sam Roney, Dekoni Audio: Sam’s was the quickest response on the list, immediately shooting back with Moloko - Sing It Back. “Snare-heavy” in his words, it’s an energetic track that would do well on the dancefloor - the Boris Dlugosch mix is an instant banger.
Tal Kocen, Dekoni Audio: Tal took a bit longer to decide, but eventually said that he would come back to Fleetwood Mac. “Rumours, that whole record, you know?” If he had to pick one song off it, it’d be Fleetwood Mac - The Chain. A classic.
Masuda Masanori, MASS-kobo: It took a couple rounds of translation, but after he understood the question, he immediately replied with Jen Chapin’s Jesus Children of America, pulled out his player, connected it to his model 404, gesturing for me to listen. I do, and it’s gorgeously full and vivid. He uses this song as a tester when he builds each of his amps, but it’s also one he enjoys. It turns out he got the CD with this song from Jen Chapin herself, decades ago when an engineer in LA introduced him to her. “Very rare, that time only released in USA, not in Japan. I also visited the recording studio where they recorded this album, showed them my amps, and the engineers there were very impressed,” he says, grinning.
And that rounds it up...with no Hotel California at all, make of that what you will. Thanks again to the above folks for taking the time to entertain my questions. Even with all the high-end gear on show, one of the most valuable things at Canjam is always the community, the people, the conversations you have. It was wonderful getting all these different perspectives on audio and hearing how people enjoy their music. In the course of all these conversations, unavoidably the age-old question arose from time to time: are you using your gear to listen to your music, or using music to listen to your gear? Maybe even both? In the end we all agreed it’s a personal thing. You listen to what you like, you find tracks that work for you, whether you’re tuning an IEM, testing cans at the store, or just laid back at home. In that sense I admit that asking people to pick just one track is unfair. As many of the people listed above mentioned, one song isn’t going to cover all your moods, all the frequency ranges.
But in this case, it’s not about the perfect track, but rather the perfect moment. It’s that that song or album or band that sticks out in your memory. Maybe it’s only with a specific setup, or it could be any old headphone, whichever. The music that when you first heard, or hear it now, just makes something click inside, you know? Just gives you that feeling of rightness.
I remember fondly what that feels like for me, and I wanted to know how it was for others, hence this playlist. 16 different ‘peak listening experiences’, so to speak. What’s yours?
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Monday, November 5, 2018
post #301
condensed post:
super productive day today! plus also got my switch (it got here so fast??)
- woke up at 10am. addressed a text from sarah about potentially rearranging some workshops and got down to trying to figure out what i could shift around
- went to SAO around 11am to figure out the parking passes because we need them ASAP by this weekend. i talked to someone and she redirected me to someone else who was able to properly process my request. 15 minutes after i left the office i got an email with the confirmed request (thank god)
- went to warren to eat lunch around 11:30am. i had some pepper mac and cheese, noodles and a calzone. i watched an episode of S2E3 “religion” of masters of none. fun episode :)
- went to data science discussion early cause it was right there. i sat in the classroom and worked on my webapp from 12:30pm - 1:30pm, adding some styling for the demo later and cleaning up some of my work from last night
- went to OOP presentation at 1:40pm just down the hall. eric and nik were already there and we saw a bit of the group before us present. then we presented and i think we did really well. everything we discussed last night paid off cause it was buttery smooth today. the prof had just one question for us and the TA had just one question as well. so it seemed like everything was crystal clear. i got an email notification that my switch was delivered too!!
- went home and set up my switch. then whipped out breath of the wild and started playing :’) i chatted with some people on fb first but played on my switch from 3:45pm-6pm. tyrone watched and help give me some guidance on where to go. i was in the great plateau and going through the first four shrines, getting my runes
- went to eat dinner in warren 6-7pm. i got some more noodles and rice and a calzone. the food was mediocre :s watched another episode of S2E4 of masters of none “first date”
- went to hackathon organizer meeting. we ran through the schedule for this weekend. ironed out details in our group logistics meetings on judging and workshops and other things
- went to OW meeting from 8pm - 9:45pm. today was demos and it was a very long but pretty productive session. i think everyone demoing had a chance to answer some good questions and idk i really enjoyed the session. i feel like there was some really good discussion. we did go over time though but oh well. i demoed my basic lobby implementation
- walked back home and worked on finding bus volunteers. i had to compile a list of emails from confirmed names and then send out an email draft to them. i took a mini break around 11pm-12am to play some breath of the wild with tyrone. he helped me get past the last shrine cause i needed spicy peppers to stay warm in the wintery mountains
- sent out the email and got two volunteers right away, which was dope
- worked on setting up the devpost from 1am-1:30am and then typing up a data science update submission for my professor until 2am
now i’m catching up on yesterday and today’s blog post
whew what a long and productive day
i’m gonna shower and go to sleep. also daylight savings ended today so yay we gained an extra hour
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Post Production Software In Animation
Day two at #nab2019 and being quite busy knocking people‘s socks off showing Strawberry and helping them out with a new pair. Come see us at the #ToolsOnAir stand SL14813, get a demo and grab your own pair! #knocktheirsocksoff #projectivetech pic.twitter.com/EtvBEOsoJj
— Projective Technology (@ProjectiveTech) April 10, 2019
The number beside the icon also denotes how many people are currently actively editing or viewing the document. Team members can work from any location and all at the same time on the same documents, while still maintaining the highest levels of security and privacy https://www.behance.net that have become the hallmarks of Kolab Systems' services and products. In real-time, you will know who is editing a script and when they commit their changes to the server. You’ll also immediately know if someone deletes a script on the server that you happen to be editing - don’t worry your draft of that script is always retained so you can restore the script back into the Workspace. We’re very excited to announce a new feature we’ve been working on for the better part of this year.
What makes a film successful?
But making a lot of movies doesn't necessarily make you the most influential person. Last year, the most prolific person in “film†was the adult director and cinematographer Miles Long, who was principally involved in 41 movies with 265 total collaborators.
Editors and motion graphics artists can share projects without fear of overwriting someone else’s efforts. Team Projects is hosted in the cloud and integrated right into Adobe Premiere Pro, After Effects, and Prelude — no additional software or hardware needed. Store source files locally or share lightweight proxies to make it easy for remote editors to collaborate. Also, if you are working with a larger class, I would encourage you to think about setting limits on either how many revisions you will work on, or the length of time you’re willing to devote to the editing process. I was working with a handful of students, so I had the luxury of being able to go through several drafts with each of them; this might not have been feasible with a larger group.
Collaborative editing and workflows
It’s called Collaborative Editing and it’s going to revolutionize how you work with your teammates. By editing and working in the cloud, though, I was able to avoid these issues.
We now have a working collaborative editor that seamlessly works with our existing news workflow, providing a massively improved user experience for collaborators across the newsroom. The interface for making these print edits relies on the existing MySQL database. Because collaborative articles are stored in Firestore and therefore disconnected from this print database, we developed a system that copies the collaborative state of an article to our primary MySQL database at regular intervals. This system consists of a set of Google Cloud Functions and Google Cloud Tasks, and allows up-to-the-second collaborative changes to be previewed as they will be printed in the newspaper — a helpful feature for our print editors. This helps to ensure that when a user leaves the Oak editor, their cursor will be cleaned up after them.
Smooth post-production workflow: Key to make pro-quality video post-production
The document is then saved on the client editing space, and this document can be commited automatically in the CVS repository, so that other editors can share the latest edits. With Cacoo’s real-time collaboration capabilities, you can rapidly make changes, add comments, manage feedback, and work together — whether your team members are by your side or across the globe. As you’re editing, you can see the actions of others play out in real-time. Each collaborator’s live cursor shows in real-time where they are on the canvas and what shapes they’re selecting and editing. Changes sync to everyone’s screen in real-time, making it easy to interact and build on each other ideas without any lag-time, saving, or refreshing.
What is Pre-production?
Other approaches like locking (Greenberg and Marwood, 1994) guarantees that users access objects in the shared workspace one at a time. The document controller in Documentum decides whom will participate in the collaborative edit sub-process and when it starts and stops.
How do I edit a .bin file?
Do not uninstall by deleting a program folder. The dual structure is by design. Having 32-bit programs installed to the "Program files (x86)" folder eliminates the risk of having both 32-bit and 64-bit installs of the same program present, and their installation files creating conflicts and/or performance problems.
Firestore supports database transactions, which means that steps submitted from multiple people will be retried by the Firestore library until one person’s insertion “wins†and is written to the database. Ordering multiple peoples’ steps in this way makes Firestore a good fit as an authority server.
What is track freeze?
Sometimes Pro Tools will fail to launch because the wrong device is selected as the Current Device under Setup>Playback Engine. When this happens, you will likely see the following error message: â€Pro Tools could not initialize the current playback device.
The PDF specification also provides for encryption and digital signatures, file attachments and metadata to enable workflows requiring these features. Find out all about the Creative Cloud while exploring the many photography, design, video, and web development applications from Adobe. Adobe offers a suite of multimedia and creativity software that continues to be the standard for both print and digital marketing for professionals, businesses, and designers alike. Adobe products make it easy to create marketing materials and creative expressions of you or your business.
Inside Professional Editing Timelines
For years now I've had this itch, trying to find the "perfect" collaborative text editor. But not just any collaborative text editor, oh no, my speciality is finding (well, at least looking for) open source real-time collaborative web-based rich text editors (i.e. not just plain text, but structured content as well). The focus of this post is thus on this quite niche category of open source tools and the tech that powers them, but if your interests are wider, you can check out this constantly updated list of editors.
Bonus lesson: The Project Manager and Audio Conform Files
By the end of this piece, we hope that many of you will want to create a collaborative editor yourself. It is a very fun project and we highly recommend it to any developers interested. This is the account of a different remote three person team who built a different open-source collaborative editor using the exact same technology in the same time period. Most collaborative writing tools offer researchers a range of useful functions. Botvinnik managed her paper as if it were open-source software.
Come see us at the #Televisual Corporate Video Production Workshop at the #Jigsaw24 office in Soho on March 27, 2019. Make your asset management and collaboration more efficient than ever before. To register: https://t.co/vUMVm7aZVJ pic.twitter.com/c2X113mqqO
— Projective Technology (@ProjectiveTech) March 14, 2019
Vscode is not at feature full for R compared to RStudio, but you get a built in terminal and git UI that's on the same level. The biggest benefit for me is not having to switch editors to be productive on different projects, but the live collaboration feature might be just what you are looking for. Once you're in the web editor, you'll have access to most iWork app tools to make changes.
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My Top 75 Songs Of 2019
Previously: 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011
First time going below 100 songs since 2015, and I cannot wait. Giving this extra juice already.
As always, criteria and info:
This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective
No artist is featured more than once
If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track
Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs
This is usually the part where I put up a pump up video, but we are going with something a little different this year.
youtube
(It was stuck my head. Blame Blink-155.)
75) YG - “In The Dark”
The video begins with YG chugging a full tequila bottle -- sure. This song is very bad. It’s like he’s in a competition to make the verse lyrics worse than the chorus lyrics (spoiler alert: the verses “win”); not even satanic imagery can save this.
74) Solange - “Stay Flo”
Here’s a weird take: wouldn’t Solange’s career be way more fun if everyone slept on her? Instead, it’s hype on hype -- plus being Beyoncé’s sister -- which makes it nearly impossible to deliver. This has a fun beat/vibe but is kinda boring... and was still easily my favorite off her album.
73) Art Alexakis - “The Hot Water Test”
My doctors told me that I had a disease / I will slowly fall apart until there’s nothing left that looks like me
This song makes the stakes clear immediately. It was released a few months after I saw Art play in June 2019 on my birthday. At the intimate show, he revealed his multiple sclerosis diagnosis as if we were all his closest friends. Something like this is never easy to deal with -- a similar announcement by the Lucky Boys Confusion singer did not help matters -- but music can help such a painful situation, and it’s clearly Alexakis’ exile here.
72) The Cranberries - “In The End”
A very suitable sendoff for the band following the passing of singer Dolores O’Riordan. The recording story (via NPR):
O'Riordan died suddenly in January 2018 at 46 years old and left behind the vocal tracks to what was intended to be the band's latest album. Now, O'Riordan's bandmates have decided to complete that album, In The End — the last album the band will release — in her memory.
[...]
In June 2017, O'Riordan and Hogan started emailing album ideas and demos back and forth to each other. O'Riordan had been very open about her struggles with mental health and addiction, which would affect the band at times, but they wanted to make a new album. Hogan says that when they were emailing those demos, she was in a good place. They started laying down her demos.
"All of that was kind of behind her," Hogan says. "She's kind of found a way to cope with the mental health thing. That's why she wanted to write so much. That's what she kept saying, 'I have so much to say, I just need the music to put it to.' "
Hogan says O'Riordan's apparent stability is what made her death even more tragic and devastating. (Officials ruled O'Riordan's cause of death to be accidental drowning due to alcohol intoxication.) But after a period of mourning, the remaining band members remembered they still had O'Riordan's demos. As Hogan remembers, they finally had the courage to start listening to them again in late February and, with her family's permission, started recording in April. "We spoke to her family and said, 'Look, how do you feel about us finishing the album?' And they were really supportive," Lawler says. "They were delighted, actually. They gave us their blessing."
Hogan says, in a sense, they were used to O'Riordan not being in the studio when they recorded — "Dolores hated hanging around the studio once we worked on our parts" — but, of course, this time was different.
71) Raleigh Ritchie - “Time In A Tree”
Exercise time. Play the first minute or so of this song without looking at any YouTube visuals.
/waits for you
OK, who are you picturing singing this? Got your image?
Well, whatever it was, you’re wrong -- it’s GREY WORM HIMSELF.
This was the best thing about “Game of Thrones” in 2019, sadly.
70) Culture Abuse - “Goo”
Simple, effective, gets out before you can dislike much.
69) Lil Pump f/ Lil Wayne - “Be Like Me”
Sometimes, a song starts, and you can just tell it’s going to be ignorant. Even before the vocals kick in. This was probably our moment here:
Between that and the beat, it’s like the only thing you can think is “Ohhhh, he’s about to say some horrible things about women.”
Other choice lines:
- “Yes, I’m hella ignorant, I don’t give a fuck” (he even says it in the song)
- “I take drugs like it’s Vitamin C / I’m a millionaire, but I don’t know how to read”
This song almost feels like it existed already.
68) The Get Up Kids - “Satellite”
Finally, our first rock song with some punch. This probably takes the crown from both DMB and P.O.D.
67) Bad Religion - “My Sanity”
BR is historically my favorite band, so it is rather deflating to see them so far back on this list. That said, it is Year 40 (!!!) of their existence, so some can be forgiven. Yet... we’ve never needed them more, you know? It’s this weird mixture of resentment but understanding.
66) Billy Liar - “The Righteous & The Rats”
Gonna see him (them?) open for The Bombpops in March; looks quite promising. Has an old school Brit punk feel.
65) Beach Slang - “AAA”
Beach Slang never lets you forget they love -- no, like, LOVE -- The Replacements. When this cover dropped, I googled “replacements AAA”, and, surprisingly, nothing came up.
Ohhh, what I fool I was. After more digging, I discovered a band called Grandpaboy who performed “AAA”.
“Oh, damn -- he finally went outside the box with this pick.”
No. Grandpaboy is fronted by Paul Westerberg. Singer of, you guessed it, The Replacements.
James Alex wears his heart on his sleeve so hard, he might as well give the heart a little jacket so his heart can wear its own heart on its sleeve.
HE DID THAT TOO?!
You can’t even make jokes about this band; they live in the jokes with their damn earnestness.
64) Gesaffelstein & The Weeknd - “Lost In The Fire”
Even lesser known Weeknd-involved tracks sound like they could lead a soundtrack or close out a festival. Are you familiar with this one at all? It has 87 million views on YouTube. Abel is never not not playing.
63) FIDLAR - “By Myself”
Started from the bottom and I’m still at the bottom
Falling apart never felt so carefree and burdenless.
62) Constant Elevation - “Fuck Runnin”
As hardcore punk as this list is gonna get. All glory to Vinnie Caruana. Though none of his solo tracks from 2019 made it, this has an undeniable energy and confidence. Plus probably the best song title of the year.
61) Maren Morris f/ Brandi Carlile - “Common”
A focused duet that drills into relationship dynamics before throwing a personal theology wrench in the middle of the chorus.
60) Anti-Flag - “Christian Nationalist”
AF going in on the white, religious right. This is like throwing a 50 mph pitch to -- /looks up good baseball players -- Pete Alonso.
59) Cokie The Clown - “Punk Rock Saved My Life”
This is less of a song and more of a confessional essay, and it gets harder and harder to look away with every revealing detail. If NOFX’s Fat Mike needed this character as a vehicle to get all of these autobiographical details off his chest, hopefully it’s a helpful therapy.
58) White Reaper - “Might Be Right”
“Judy French” is such an untoppable song, but “Might Be Right” has a similar dynamic.
57) Denzel Curry - “RICKY”
Denzel Curry as a rap moniker is such a slam dunk.
/looks up actual name
!!!
56) Ariana Grande - “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored”
It takes a special kind of hot girl twisted to issue this unflinching request while totally pulling it off.
55) Goody Grace f/ blink-182 - “Scumbag”
Not sure if Goody is a Soundcloud rapper, punk rocker, or some kinda emo hybrid of both.
A few asides:
- Have we ever -- ever -- heard Travis Barker this subdued on drums?
- On the Blink-155 podcast, Goody said he gave Tom from the Plain White T’s a songwriting credit because he unintentionally lifted some melodies from “Hey There Delilah”, but... I really don’t hear it at all; like, it sounds maybe in the same key but not much else?
54) Jonas Brothers - “Sucker”
Despite their popularity in the past, I do not think I could name a single JoBros song. That changed in 2019 with this poppy, light, clappy, Maroon 5-style single.
53) Goo Goo Dolls - “Money, Fame & Fortune”
Someone -- coulda sworn it was Brendan Kelly -- said this was Goo Goo Dolls sounding like Fake Problems, and that is spot on.
52) AJJ - “A Poem”
A poem is song that no one cares about
This short, folky tune led to one of my favorite Twitter exchanges of the year, when I reached out to a music journalist with a question and AJJ came flying off the top rope.
51) DaBaby - “Suge”
This song is fun, but I really don’t get it. Beat is cool, flow is fine... this is the new face of hip-hop? His name is DaBaby! What are we doing here?!
50) Laura Stevenson - “Jesus, Etc.”
Taking a classic and doing it full justice/adding some harmonies.
49) blink-182 - “Not Another Christmas Song”
Blink’s 2019 album “Nine” was very, very bad because it tried too hard and was not good. This song, released later in the year, takes an opposite approach and actually works. We get lyrics that are discontent, even clumsy at times -- the “I miss fucking in the rain” line is so out of place/cringe-y but actually feels real and not workshopped by 10 producers. The trio can hopefully use this better b-side to figure out the best songwriting should flow out of you without having to go through multiple stations on a conveyor belt first.
48) Dave Hause - “Eye Aye I”
This song has a lot I love (catchy chorus, wistful thoughts, hairline analyses) and a lot I don’t (genuine use of the word “old bores”, Van Halen getting respect), but one thing is clear: Dave Hause is in complete control.
47) Beck - “Up All Night”
I’ve casually followed Beck’s entire career and would not have guessed this was him if given 100 chances. As an exercise, I’m going to pull up the 2020 Coachella lineup and randomly point to an artist.
/pulls up lineup and points
I got Daniel Caesar. If you told me this was Daniel Caesar, that would probably make more sense here.
46) Shawn Mendes - “If I Can’t Have You”
Randomly came into Shawn Mendes tickets in 2019, and good gracious, that was something. Other than parents, we were the oldest people there by a lot. Getting to watch thousands of teens and preteens legitimately having the best moment of their lives was downright inspiring. When you’re that young, it’s not even hyperbole. Phones were flagrantly out; I’m talking 20+ minutes of straight video being filmed. I wanted to judge so badly, but if you gave me an iPhone at my first concert when I was 14, who the hell knows how egregious my behavior would’ve been. As fun as the whole experience was, I never wanted to be in a grimy punk club more. Sometimes, leaving your comfort zone makes you appreciate your home base more.
This is a rock solid pop song, but there are way too many you/you rhymes to not penalize it some.
45) Big Thief - “Cattails”
The whitest song you will ever hear that isn’t written by Vampire Weekend.
44) Bayside - “Prayers”
Bayside went super metal with their 2019 release “Interrobang” (such a sick name). So yes, the guitars are a touch harder than you might be used to, but the chorus soars; a great hook transcends genre.
43) Naughty Boy & Mike Posner - “Live Before I Die”
Few had as interesting of a year as Mike Posner. Following a breakup, the death of his father, and the death of Avicii, he decided to walk across the United States of America. He legit became Forrest Gump, right down to the beard and grown out hair.
In the video, you can see how a snakebite hospitalized him and almost derailed the whole trek. After a rehabilitation period where he almost lost his leg, our man finally makes it to the Pacific Ocean. If nothing else, watch for the ending -- it’s exhilarating.
42) Post Malone - “Wow.”
Post is flexing in this one; we’ve got slow motion jamming with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, international flights, a dancing beard guy, and a Fall Out Boy name check which really makes them sound cooler than they are now.
41) Bryce Vine f/ YG - “La La Land”
Sometimes, these summertime Cali songs write themselves. That is until YG comes in and flips over the board before you can finish the game. By the time the Coachella reference is dropped when Bryce comes back in, you realize 1:47 may have actually been a better endpoint for the song than its 2:47 length.
40) David Rokos - “Backseat Drives”
It’s winter in Chicago, again and until forever. If you haven’t been to the Jewel in the South Loop or Marshall Field’s before they changed it, just listen to this so you don’t actually have to.
39) Simple Creatures - “Drug”
Mark Hoppus and the dude from All Time Low give us this synth-pop bop that feels like the duo shooting their shot at a real mainstream pop hits. It didn’t quite get there, but they should feel OK about where it landed.
38) Chris Cresswell - “To The Wind”
My interest in The Flatliners ramped up considerably in 2019, as their near decade old record “Cavalcade” got plenty of spins (peep “Filthy Habits”; just stunningly incredible punk). Though they did not release anything this year, their singer put out “To The Wind”, a longing song about missing someone.
37) Kesha f/ Big Freedia - “Raising Hell”
Kesha, with the help of New Orleans’ Big Freedia, gives us another one. I’ve personally dug Kesha for a while now, but when is it time for us as a society to put her into the all-time conversation for pop artists? She has at least, like, seven HOF certifiable bangers. Plus she kills a guy in this music video.
In conclusion, I think this could translate to a country song very easily.
36) No Lenox - “Marquee”
Illinois/Japan’s No Lenox are back with Reuben Baird on the mixer and legendary masterer Collin Jordan (of The Boiler Room) on the, well, master, and the fullness in sound leads to the assault that is the “I saw your name on the marquee / Your friends were milling around outside” part. They only play it once, but I really could’ve gone for closer to five.
35) Red City Radio - “Love A Liar”
Rapid fire Red City Radio gets this one done in exactly 120 seconds.
34) Barely March - “Lead Single”
This sounds like Joyce Manor turned up to a 17 out of 10 before unexpectedly turning into a hellogoodbye song.
33) New Lenox - “Old Words”
Not a typo from two songs ago -- legitimately a different band. This one was written by your boy. The first 15 seconds were from a demo recorded 1/2/16 before developing the rest in 2019 (after some encouragement). We have Dave Rokos on guitar/bass, Dave Hernandez on hums, and Brian Bedford on some very temporary sleigh bells. Themes: online dating, resolutions, exes, currents, Black Wednesday, hope, and Carly Rae Jepsen stage banter.
32) MakeWar - “Sails”
Honey, I can’t make it on my own
You might get some Gaslight Anthem vibes as the vocals come in, but by the time the song ends, MakeWar leaves their own imprint on this impassioned ballad.
31) Sheryl Crow & Johnny Cash - “Redemption Day”
Was gonna say Johnny’s voice could move mountains before realizing no, Johnny’s voice is the mountains.
30) American Football f/ Hayley Williams - “Uncomfortably Numb”
Sensitivity deprived I can't feel a thing inside I blamed my father in my youth Now as a father, I blame the booze
An unlikely collaboration that makes you forget about its unlikeliness by the two minute mark. The two voices trade spots, mesh, harmonize, and weave throughout this beautiful song.
Asides:
- Blake from “Workaholics” in the video?!
- Choose to interpret this song’s title as a Pink Floyd diss
- “I’ll make new friends in the ambulance” should be a 2005-level emo lyric that we all mock, yet it’s somehow one of the most stunningly appropriate closers of the entire year
- I wish my friend Luke was with us to hear it
29) Stuck Out Here - “Embarrass You”
Stuck Out Here got onto my radar with 2014′s amazingly named “Getting Used To Feeling Like Shit”. Five years later, they’re back -- and not feeling much better. The Toronto quartet’s Bandcamp describes the song like this:
They’re fucking up, but unlike previous releases, they’re finally holding themselves accountable.
You can even kinda hear their Canadian accents in the “I’m sorry I embarrass you...” part.
28) The Weeknd - “Heartless”
The Weeknd will be on these lists as long as he continues to make music even 1/8th as good as this.
27) The Chainsmokers f/ blink-182 - “P.S. I Hope You’re Happy”
A simple song that’s a touch more clever than you first realize. The Chainsmokers guy is giving me some real Owl City vibes. Also, how airtight of an apology is the line “I blame myself for when I was someone else”. It’s like the modern way of saying “When I was a child, I spoke like a child”.
Also also, the “I will find a way somehow...” harmony in the pre-chorus is as pretty as music got in 2019. The Chainsmokers are so sonically pleasing, whether you end up liking the music or not.
26) Vampire Weekend - “Harmony Hall”
ooooooooh, that crisp guitar in the intro
25) Alex Lahey - “Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself”
If Carly Rae Jepsen can get a sword, why can’t Alex Lahey get a god damn saxophone? HIT ME.
That solo, combined with the “Mighty Ducks” reference in the chorus, make this song untouchable.
24) Lizzo - “Truth Hurts”
Let’s be clear: this did drop in 2017 but was technically re-released in 2019, so it does qualify for our list despite the criteria threatening timeline. Anyway.
The walking piano part, the iconic intro line (with a lawsuit!), the Minnesota Vikings reference (causing a Green Bay radio edit), and all of the damn positivity. Lizzo was among music’s big winners this year, and her success made you wonder how the hell someone this talented was slept on for those two years.
Let’s end with the purse.
23) An Horse - “Ship Of Fools”
Awkward band name, but a song that makes you pay attention. Kinda like Tegan and Sara, had they stayed more rock. So much urgency in the vocals and lyrics.
22) Charli XCX f/ Lizzo - “Blame It On Your Love”
Trippy vid; Charli continues to give us anthems. Wasn’t super high on the Lizzo cameo, but it somehow made more sense in the context of said video.
21) Sincere Engineer - “Dragged Across The Finish Line”
Sincere Engineer is back -- you can tell from the second those guitar leads get goin’. Drums from 1:19 to 1:36 = /heart eyes emoji. My buddy Cox said his next tattoo very well could be the outro lyric “Too dumb to succeed, too honest to cheat”.
(Bonus fact: they did a beer collaboration/show with Pollyanna Brewing Company in 2019.)
20) Lil Nas X - “Old Town Road”
Was unwilling to listen when this first dropped solely because of how horrible Lil Nas X’s name is (”What if a rapper came out named ‘Lil Jay-Z X’?!”)... what a foolish notion. One billion streams and a Billy Cyrus cameo later, I wouldn’t have been able to miss out on the Song of the Summer (and year) if I tried. More notes:
- Picked this because I had to, but “Panini” is legit good (200+ million streams)
- Went with the original (sorry, Billy), which is a beautiful 1:53 long (brevity, brevity, brevity)
- Did you know: Lil Nas X uses a Nine Inch Nails sample on the beat? This Rolling Stone interview with Trent Reznor is super interesting
Reznor calls “Old Town Road” “undeniably hooky,” but once it exploded, he took a back seat to the phenomenon. “The reason I haven’t stepped in to comment anything about it is, I don’t feel it’s my place to play any kind of social critic to that,” he says. “It was a material that was used in a significant way and it turned into something that became something else, and those guys should be the ones the spotlight is on…. They asked if I wanted to do a cameo in the video, and it was flattering, and I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I don’t feel like it’s my place to shine a light on me for that. I say that with complete respect.”
Still, Reznor is amazed at how the song became a juggernaut. “Having been listed on the credits of the all-time, Number One whatever-the-fuck-it-is wasn’t something…I didn’t see that one coming,” he says. “But the world is full of weird things that happen like that. It’s flattering. But I don’t feel it’s for me to step in there and pat myself on the back for that.”
19) Gryffin & Carly Rae Jepsen - “OMG”
What doesn’t this little bop have? It’s kinda Chainsmoker-y and tingles like cool breath hitting the back of your neck.
18) Craig Finn - “Blankets”
You travel your whole life just to get out to the place you’re gonna die
I love everything about this song: the artwork, the intro, the climax, the command Craig Finn has from start to finish -- with such a payoff. Now several albums in, the greatest compliment we can give is that his solo stuff now feels more essential than Hold Steady releases*. You can even hear it in this line: “When we got to the Twin Cities / I said ‘Man, I know some songs about this place’”. Another life.
17) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Now That I Found You”
Carly always keeps us in the sky; picking one song was difficult because the album is even more fulfilling as you get to put the pieces together.
16) Billie Eilish - “Bad Guy”
Different genres*, but Billie Eilish lived up to her hype in the exact same way Lana Del Rey did in the earlier part of the decade. Lana said she was the gangster Nancy Sinatra and totally fucking was. Billie feels like something potentially even bigger. Nearly everything about her aura lets you project (or even second guess, if you’re a skeptic). Is she dead-eyed because she’s high or disaffected? Or just Aubrey Plaza? Is it her or her brother that’s pulling the strings? How can someone so young be so good already? In the skinny fashion era of All Achilles Everything, how is she rocking such loose fits?
“I never want the world to know everything about me. I mean that’s why I wear big baggy clothes,” she said. “Nobody can have an opinion because they haven’t seen what’s underneath.”
“Nobody can be like ‘Oh, she’s slim-thick, she’s not slim-thick, she’s got a flat ass, she’s got a fat ass,’” she continued. “No one can say any of that because they don’t know.”
It almost seems too easy, but how much sense does that make to you?
Great jokes aside, I have so much anticipation for what’s next, with assured belief in its potential. Pitchfork:
In 10 years, she will still be well under 30. Let’s hope the planet survives that long.
Yes.
(* - though not totally)
15) Ben Gibbard - “Filler”
Before you check Gibbard’s, please listen to the original by Minor Threat. That’s what he had to work with. From there, a total transformation while doing the near impossible -- keeping its beating heart.
14) Martha - “Wrestlemania VIII”
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Third favorite song title of the year/favorite music video of the year. This is energetic, bratty punk at its finest; also surprised to find out it was British, but, based on the upcoming tour dates and YouTube description...
This is a silly & frankly quite rubbish video but when you are a band trapped within surveillance capitalism's endless hunger for content trying to promote a tour sometimes things will be a silly & frankly quite rubbish.
I love them. Seriously didn’t even notice the accents in the singing until I knew to look for them; now, it’s all I can hear. Also, the part in the video where they finally show someone with an instrument, only he stops playing guitar halfway into the solo (/crying emoji).
THEY SAY ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDA
13) Chance The Rapper f/ Ben Gibbard - “Do You Remember”
Chance The Rapper dropped a one hour and 17 minute album in 2019 because he is a monster. I could not name three songs on it, but this one stood out big. It’s Chano doing what he does best: reminiscing and evoking summer in his city. Gibbard on the hook gives it that 2005 nostalgia while also making you say “Damn, it’s been nearly 15 years since 2005?!”
Fav two lines:
1) “Used to have obsession with the ‘27 Club’ / Now I'm turning 27, wanna make it to the 2070 club / Put the 27's down, Lord, give me a clean lung / Took the ring up out the box, I know this ain't no brief love”
2) “That summer left a couple tan lines / I love my city, they let me cut the line on the Dan Ryan”
(If you know, you know.)
Two more asides:
- If you Google “death cab for cutie”, the next autofill from there is “do you remember”. Rough for the legacy.
- “My daughter on the swing like the 2017 Cubs” is a line that confused me, but here’s how Genius explained it:
Chance is talking about a memorable summer and the things that made him happy. This line continues that theme when he raps about his daughter happily on a swing and how that’s similar to the 2017 Cubs. The Chicago Cubs won the World Series in 2016; therefore, the 2017 season was one of celebration and relaxation as the pressure of the 108 year drought was over.
12) Lana Del Rey - “The Greatest”
I miss Long Beach, and I miss you...
Listening to this song feels like watching the cement dry on a classic in real time. Lana Del Rey’s galactic “Norman Fucking Rockwell!” dominated lists at the end of 2019, and she -- to borrow her word -- fucking deserved it.
- The Beach Boys line is so god damn perfect
- The guitar solo (soooo sick)
- The breathy singing; the crooning; the notes that go up and then down until you’re surrounded by melody
- The perfection of this album name (minus the very iffy exclamation point) will have me comparing nearly any other all-time album title for probably the rest of our lives
- Tried playing this album during my Monday night pickup basketball run, and it very much failed... but that’s about the only thing it couldn’t do
- I’m told the dude with her on the album cover is Jack Nicholson’s grandson (named Duke Nicholson, because of course)
11) Off With Their Heads - “No Love”
If you do not like punk rock, this will be unlistenable. If you do, what a treat! I love how dissatisfied and put off he sounds, and, while there are a few more lively songs remaining on the list, none in 2019 got fast-tracked to my workout/pump up playlist at this speed.
Factoring in the band’s van accident (occurred after the release of this song), the “There’s nothing I could say that’s ever gonna make it right” outro becomes hauntingly clairvoyant.
10) Drake f/ Rick Ross - “Money In The Grave”
We need to face facts: it was a down year for stadium hip-hop. Nowhere on this list do you see Jay, Em, Kendrick, or Kanye (rest in peace). This was my favorite rap song of the year, and it couldn’t even crack the Top 5. Similar to his beloved Raptors -- who are being celebrated here -- it’s almost as if Drake needed some injuries outside his own locker room to get the crown. But I’m done being bummed, let’s focus on the good:
- Ohhhh, the intro (”I mean where. the fuck. should I. really even start?”)
- The way he says “grave” in the hook like he can barely contain
- The hook itself -- read it out loud: “When I die, put my money in the grave”
- How cool Ross sounds when he breaks in
- The Zion reference
The bad:
- Rarely take this angle, but really wouldn’t mind if it were longer
- Misogyny
9) PUP - “Bloody Mary, Kate And Ashley”
Second favorite song title of the year, 6/8 time signature, satanic references, drugs, hallucinations (maybe), and, yes, the Olsen twins.
8) Better Oblivion Community Center - “Sleepwalkin’”
“It’s impossible to count...”
The intro, as the tempo gets jarringly slower and slower, ironically helps you acclimate quicker. This Phoebe Bridgers/Conor Oberst collab was my No. 1 played track of 2019 (the album coming out in January definitely helped). The song builds to Phoebe’s solo part:
You like beer and chocolate I like setting off those bottle rockets We can never compromise But fighting 'til the death keeps us alive
It’s sung so well, you can almost feel the heat of the spotlight on her through the stereo. The lyrics could be anything.
The chill guitar solo takes us out.
7) AM Taxi - “Saint Jane”
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Adam Krier is such a rockstar, he had me shouting “I’m no hero, at best a zero!” within my fifth listen -- and I was skeptical as hell when I first heard the line. But that’s about where it stopped. You can tell this song is going to rip even before the vocals come in. When they do (”These fears don’t die, you get older and they multiply”), it’s just fucking time to go.
6) Taylor Swift - “Paper Rings”
My favorite pop song of 2019. Tay is firing on all cylinders; every lyric is exactly where it’s supposed to be; boppy and fun and sincere (while still being light-hearted). Still holding out minor hope it will be a single in 2020.
5) Pkew Pkew Pkew - “The Polynesian”
I’ve always said the best songs make you want to live the lyrics, whether they are positive or negative. This one had me researching “polynesian wisconsin” faster than I’m comfortable disclosing. And yes “bed bugs” and “needles” were both in the Top 7 recommended searches after those first two words.
Pkew Pkew Pkew collaborated with Craig Finn on some of their lyrics on 2019′s “Optimal Lifestyles”, and I’d be blown away if he doesn’t have fingerprints on this one -- the storytelling is pristine. Go into this open-minded, and I’d be shocked if you weren’t shouting the “Goatees, tall cans, camo pants, and Packers fans” mantra by the end.
Bonus story: this St. Patrick’s day in Chicago, I asked my friend Sara (Wisconsin native) if she’d ever stayed there, and she held up her elbow and showed me a scar from the hotel’s water slide. Your boy was over the moon.
4) Spanish Love Songs - “Losers”
It gets harder, doesn’t it?
Dylan Slocum has a way of not just writing depressing songs -- many lyricists are good at that -- but specifically depressing songs. This song contemplates death, homelessness, squandering your limited time on the planet, credit card debt, leeching off your parents because you have no other choice, crippling illness, and completely giving up because there genuinely is no other choice. The last lines are, without any hint of winking, “We’re mediocre. We’re losers. Forever.”
It’s wonderful.
Two straight Top 4 finishes for SLS; their 2020 album should be something special.
3) oso oso - “the view”
If Jade Lilitri is making personal progress in “microscopic strides”, you wouldn’t be able to tell by his songwriting. Every tune has a way of warming up your entire body and being. This grabs you, whether it’s the laid back guitar or the mismatched quick drums or the big ass chorus. While it came down to this one or “basking in the glow” (an actual single), the bridge here puts us over the top:
But not as much as the phone ringing Not as much playing my house Not as much as the way her goddamn voice sounds It's like taking in sun And then taking it back I fall into old habits I'm stepping over your cracks again
Her voice? This song.
2) The Menzingers - “Strangers Forever”
This song makes me want to rip up walls, sprint through streets with no destination, shred my lungs screaming off rooftops, bash hands drumming the steering wheel until my sprained fingers beg me to stop. It is such a perfect encapsulation of my favorite band of the decade and possibly of all-time.
Scranton’s sons gave me everything and more from 2010 through 2019, so it’s fitting they end so high here. This is probably the most clownable sentence of them all, but I am so constantly thankful I am alive to experience Greg Barnett’s songwriting. What he creates, I can only compare to the best books or movies or athletes or even personal relationships.
The way the guitar alternates in the headphones to start, the drums that go big and push the song along, the reverb vox that certainly could have less reverb, the “it is what it is”-style lyric of “My miserable memory’s making me more miserable”, the oceanic imagery, the quiet bridge that explodes into a final chorus. Barnett said the overall theme was inspired by Leo Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina”.
In it, the character Darya Alexandrovna learns of her husbands infidelity and declares: “Even if we remain in the same house, we are strangers — strangers forever!” The idea of becoming a stranger to someone you so intimately know stuck with me, and became the overarching narrative to this song. Dolly’s statement is definitive, but she also realizes the trappings of 19th century patriarchal Russian society. It’s a complex conundrum, and while lyrically I speak in the first person, this song exists in a world outside of my own personal experiences. I wanted to write about the finality of relationships that need to end this way. Strangers Forever.
My only gripe is I wish there were more. But I’m the same person who never wants them to stop.
1) Signals Midwest f/ Sincere Engineer - “Your New Old Apartment”
Only one song could make me fear missing the chance to be with the love of my life the same year I married her. As discussed in “The Polynesian”, the best songs have the consistent ability to put you in someone else��s shoes. You are either reliving something you personally experienced or maybe taking it all in for the first time. And that can be powerful -- especially dealing with anything big picture.
“Your New Old Apartment” launches me into 2009 without ever asking. Age: 23. My life was transient, I had no career, I didn’t even believe in marriage. I left my retail job in the Chicago suburbs for an unpaid newspaper internship in New Jersey. When I saw the people I loved, I always tried to make it count. Still do.
The descriptors and feeling are suffocating, right from the jump:
I only saw you a couple times last year Once at a wedding, once at a funeral I wore the same clothes to both, and I was worried you would notice ‘cause yours were impeccable
That’s me, then. Not knowing how to dress but hoping to get by anyway. I remember talking to my buddy P before buying my “work clothes” and learning you needed to match your shoes with your belt. Boyish adulthood.
The song continues, and the narrator is filled in on 5-year plans. It may be cliche to speak, but every current moment is simultaneously your youngest and oldest. Being in my early 30s now, it is so easy to scoff at anyone’s best laid plans, but I’m also the same cat who thought The Wonder Years’ “Jesus Christ, I’m 26 / All the people I graduated with / All have kids, all have wives, all have people who care if they come home at night” was life-defining, because I was the same age when that dropped, and it always hits the hardest when it’s all around you.
What I love about these lyrics are the careful observation mixed with mature-behind-his-years restraint. For a very long time in my life, I did not think I would get to be with my wife as anything more than a friend. When you are forced to come to terms with those potential realities, you must make concessions and convince yourself they’re OK. So when it’s revealed the narrator’s muse is married, he resigns himself to hopefully seeing the person more and at least being adjacent to the life they are living. It is tragic but still something. It is alternate hope in the hopeless.
I can picture myself listening to this song that wasn’t yet written while leaving a 2009 or 2010 or 2013 wedding and wishing I told her everything. But I wouldn’t have -- not then. I would have poured my heart out into a diary and quoted a line or three from this at the bottom. But that was then, this is now.
In 2019, her new old apartment will be my new old apartment, and that will never be lost on me.
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* * *
Bonus coverage. Since we are at the end of the decade, I rounded up our No. 1 song from each year and have that below:
2010: The Menzingers - “Time Tables” 2011: Jay-Z & Kanye West - “Gotta Have It” 2012: Carly Rae Jepsen - “Call Me Maybe” 2013: Kanye West - “On Sight” 2014: The Menzingers - “Where Your Heartache Exists” 2015: Big Sean f/ Kanye West - “All Your Fault” 2016: The Menzingers - “Lookers” 2017: The Menzingers - “After The Party” 2018: Horror Squad - “I Smoke The Blood” 2019: Signals Midwest f/ Sincere Engineer - “Your New Old Apartment”
* * *
It’s time to stop writing. Thank you so much for reading.
Spotify playlist is here, featuring 70 of the 75.
#taylor swift#oso oso#pkew pkew pkew#the menzingers#2019#2020#pup#drake#rick ross#chance the rapper#lana del rey#craig finn#carly rae jepsen#sincere engineer#lizzo#alex lahey#vampire weekend#the chainsmokers#blink-182#the weeknd#kesha#post malone#bayside#dababy#jonas brothers#ariane grande#music#lists#denzel curry#maren morris
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