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dresupi · 6 years ago

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3rd Annual Crack Challenge!!!

Hey guys! It’s that time of year again!

In honor of April Fool’s Day, I thought it would be fun to do that Crack-tastic Writing Challenge again! :D I’m posting now so y’all will have enough time to get your works together!

Like last year, it’s open to everyone, every rating. You want crack-smut? You write that cracky smut, baby! Smut not your bag? That’s FINE. We still want to read everything your gorgeous brain can create! You want more gen crack with no ships? WRITE THAT THING! Treat yo self and everyone else while you’re at it. You’re an amazing author and we NEED THAT FIC, beautiful!

Anyway, once again, I’ve chosen a list of prompts that I thought would live up to the list from the past years.

Rules:

While this is really more geared towards fic writers, you can create any kind of fanwork you want. (Graphics, fic, art)

Your work must include Darcy Lewis. (Natch, I mean…this is a Darcyland event)

Crossovers are fine, as long as…you know…Darcy is involved. ;)

If you want, you can add fics to the collection I’ve made on Ao3 (That link is right here, but you won’t be able to add works until April 1, 2019)

Rate and tag your fics appropriately

No word limit for fics or drabbles

Posting begins on April 1, 2019, and will go on until April 11. 2019. (Or April 12 to account for time zones and such)

Tag your works with #dlaf2019 and #darcy lewis to be sure that they will get seen! Because of the wonky tag features on Tumblr, if you want to make doubly sure I see it and reblog it, please feel free to message me the link here on Tumblr.

But, it IS a crack challenge. So keep it silly, y’all! The point is to be lighthearted and as CRACKY as possible. (From Fanlore: “…crack can describe fanworks with a fundamentally ludicrous premise, or otherwise including a plethora of unbelievable, incredible, or just plain silly elements…”)

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask me! My ask and messenger are open!

Detailed prompt list under the cut:

April 1 - Taser Mishaps - (I reused this one from last year, it was so incredibly DARCY and fun, I just had to) Our queen of tasers can’t always hit her target, can she? Something goes wrong, Taser-wise.

April 2 - An unexplainable predicament to explain - It’s not what it looks like... or maybe it’s exactly what it looks like? Either way, our girl’s gotta explain herself, one way or another!

April 3 - Stuck in an air vent - Oh boy, this is a tight squeeze, and we want to know how, why, under what condition and to what degree Darcy has gotten herself stuck.

April 4 - Must include magnets - Pretty self-explanatory. Any story at all, but with the added fun of magnets.

April 5 - A literal eraser - Not your average pencil variety. This erase is erasing REAL THINGS.

April 6 - Must include glow sticks - Rave not required.

April 7 - Strange iPod locations - Ever since the Son of Coul took that damn thing, it’s been causing Darcy grief. Where’d she end up finding it?

April 8 - Anti-gravity - Crackfic, now with no gravity!

April 9 - Must include packing peanuts - Organic or styrofoam, you know it really doesn’t matter.

April 10 - Mistaken Flirtation - My eye was itching! I swear!

#dlaf2019 #darcy lewis #darcyland #crack challenge #writing challenge #begins april 1

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ibelieveinturtles · 6 years ago

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Darcyland Crack Challenge

April 3 - Stuck in an air vent - Oh boy, this is a tight squeeze, and we want to know how, why, under what condition and to what degree Darcy has gotten herself stuck.

Okay so I think we all know how this goes now... 3 days late, unbeta’d, unedited, finished barely three minutes ago... better late than never, right!?

Darcy was stuck.

In the weeks since her unexpected acquisition of the power of teleportation her life had changed… and not necessarily for the better.

She still couldn’t control it, which was how she’d ended up here. Stuck. In a vent. A vent that was a lot smaller than dozens of movies had led her to believe vents were. She didn’t even know where the vent was. Just that she was stuck in it. And no amount of wishing that she wasn’t stuck in this smelly, dusty vent was getting her out of it.

After teleporting into Steve’s lap they’d gone to medical. Medical hadn’t found anything wrong with her. They checked her heart and her lungs and her blood pressure and a thousand other things. Then they took blood tests and did x-rays and sent her home to wait for the results. Some of the test results took weeks to run which meant she was still waiting.

And that was kind of, maybe, why she was stuck in an unknown vent in an unknown location. Because medical had finally called to say they had news for her and could she please come and see them at her earliest convenience.

What they should have said was, ‘Hey, we actually lied about how long this shit takes because the doctor is actually in the pay of AIM or HYDRA or Hammer Industries or someone and we wanted to know what happened too and now we do know so we’re going to try and kidnap you.’

A gentle vibrating against her thigh reminded Darcy that she was scheduled for training with Natasha and was now officially late. It was a shame that she was jammed in so tightly that she couldn’t reach the damn thing. Unless…

It took fifteen minutes of careful wiggling and a lot of whispered cursing for Darcy to finally get her hand on her phone. Then it took another half hour of wiggling, gripping with her fingertips, losing her grip, gaining her grip again, and finally twisting her arm into positions she was sure arms didn’t usually go into, to get her phone up to her head.

Her next task was to blindly swipe and tap on the screen until it brought up the emergency screen so she could call one of her emergency contacts.

It was just her bad luck that the contact she finally managed to hit was her mother.

“Oh, hello, Darling! I was just thinking about you! How are you? How’s your job? Did Aunt Miriam call you-”

“Mom-”

“-yet? She’s just gotten engaged to that-”

“Mom, I need you-”

“-nice young man of hers.”

“Mom, can you please-”

“You’re very quiet today, Darcy. I’m having trouble hearing you-”

“MOM! I need you to call Jane for me!”

“What? Why? You didn’t get fired did you?”

“No, Mom. I’m just- I’m in a bit of a bind and I need you to please call Jane and get her to call me. Immediately. It’s very important.”

“Sorry, can you repeat that? You’re so faint.”

“CAN YOU CALL JANE?”

“Oh, well of course, sweetheart. You know, you should bring her with you next time you come to visit-”

“Sure, but can you please call her for me right now! She needs to call me immediately.”

“Why can’t you call her yourself?”

“Classified, Mom. Sorry. I’m hanging up now, call Jane. Please!”

Darcy stabbed at her phone with her thumb and hoped she managed to disconnect the call. Then she waited, trying to count of the seconds in her head, wondering how long it would take before she could possibly expect Jane to call her.

It seemed like several geological ages before her phone rang but when she was able to finally look at her phone logs later, it was only seven minutes.

“Darcy? Darcy, are you there? Are you okay? What happened? Where are you?”

“I’m here, I’m fine, the doctor in medical tried to kidnap me and I’m in a vent.”

In her minds eyes Darcy could see Jane looking up at the ceiling. “A vent? Where? How?”

“I don’t know and I teleported, how else do you think I got myself stuck in a vent?” Darcy snapped. “Can’t someone there trace the call and come and get me?”

“Can’t you just teleport back?”

“I tried. I’m still here. You know I can’t control it, Jane.”

“Okay. Don’t go anywhere-”

“Where, Jane? Where am I gonna go?”

“I’m going to Hill’s office. I’ll call you back when I get there, okay?”

Before Darcy could protest the call ended.

Several dozen more geological ages later her phone rang again. This time it was Maria Hill, who spoke to Darcy very calmly and sensibly and within five minutes Darcy knew where she was and how long she would have to wait for rescue.

“I’m where?”

There was the sound of voices in the background and a moment later Natasha was on the phone.

“Darcy, can you tell me - where would you most like to be right now?”

“Um… not here?” Darcy hoped Natasha wouldn’t be offended by the sarcasm in her voice but really - what kind of a stupid question was that?

“I know, Darcy, I know. But think of somewhere specific - your room? The lab? The cafeteria? Somewhere... else?”

Darcy thought hard for a moment. All she really wanted was to be somewhere warm and safe and-

For the second time, she fell into Steve Rogers lap.

In case you hadn’t guessed, this runs on from day 2′s prompt :-)

@dresupi here’s another one for you, gorgeous!

#dlaf2019 #darcy lewis #shieldshock #jane foster #natasha romanoff #stuck in a vent #teleporting

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aenariasbookshelf · 6 years ago

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Welcome to crack week 2019, and all the props in the world to @dresupi for doing a fab job coming up with these prompts. The first prompt is, appropriately so, ‘Taser Mishaps’. And, for some reason I like to return to the Dreamsverse when I’m feeling a bit out of sorts. It’s like a comforting old friend, where none of my characters really know what they’re doing in this life, but they’re muddling through anyway. This is utter and total crack, mind you, so please don’t come shouting at me that this scenario isn’t realistic. The entire point is the lack of realism here.

I also have been feeling the strong desire to return to 2012 MCU fandom lately, for all obvious reasons, and so these cracky little ficlets in the Dreamsverse take place over the summer of 2012, a younger, more innocent time for my babies. Although, admittedly, I’m totally pulling some characters from the more recent Marvel movies, definitely inspired by a post from @anais-ninja-bitch of late that spurred on some amazing headcanons.

There are a lot of OCs in this verse, and I’m hitting the ground running with them, so if you want to learn a little more about them, you can find the rest of the Dreamsverse at AO3. If you don’t want to read through five long stories though, here’s what you need to know: 1) recently established Shieldshock where Darcy and Steve are neighbors in Brooklyn 2) Darcy has a LOT of roommates 3) No one knows Steve is Captain America, because his public identity is still secret (oh, it was a more innocent time then, and I’m a total sucker for a secret identity…).

Day 1 - Taser Mishaps

“This will not end well,” Barrett says. His face is pinched with worry, and if the wary expression didn’t give it away, the way his fingertips keep tapping out a staccato beat on the worn windowsill say plenty, also.

Steve looks up at Barrett from his perch halfway down the steps between the fire escapes. There’s already a rough edged rip in his t-shirt where the wrought iron had snagged it, the flaps peeling away to reveal a slice of his muscular chest. Beyond that, the slight claw marks in his skin were showing up nicely red against his pale flesh. “I realize that,” he replies with all of the patience he can muster up, “but what choice to do we have?” His other hand has a thick rope wrapped around it, the other end of which is wrapped a few times around Darcy’s waist, just for extra safety purposes.

“Dude, it’s not my taser; I won’t get arrested for having an illegal weapon in this state!”

“Will you two shut up!” Darcy calls back over her shoulder, reaching around to adjust the rope and stop it from digging into her skin. “The pigeons are getting even madder.”

It was purely an accident that Darcy’s taser had gone out the window. She’d had it out in the kitchen, left on the little counter they’d set up in front of the window for some extra space so she could drop it into her backpack. But the day is one of those summer days, where it’s nice and hot but there’s a breeze coming off the water, and it’s just about perfect as long as you can ignore the ever pervasive smell of hot garbage that seems to emanate from the pores of NYC in the warm weather, and the window was open to get some much needed fresh air in the apartment.

So, of course someone ended up knocking into the counter and sending the taser clattering out of the window. It didn’t fall far, only down to an ancient cement ledge on the story below theirs, but that little trip led to an entirely new set of problems. First, the window behind the ledge had been bricked up ages before, so they couldn’t go through the apartment below theirs to retrieve the taser. Second, the ledge had become overgrown with moss and lichen, making it a wonderfully soft location and protected location for a pigeon couple to set up a nest to keep their eggs warm and cozy.

The taser had landed just beyond the pigeons’ nest, and Mama Pigeon really, really didn’t like Steve, much to his chagrin and everyone else’s amusement during the first retrieval attempt. Which is how Darcy ended up in the makeshift harness trying to reach past one very pissed off pigeon to retrieve her highly illegal non-lethal weapon.

Mama Pigeon wriggles in her nest, and puffs her feathers up, giving Darcy a glare that translates all too well across species. “I know,” Darcy says with a sigh. “Just give me a few seconds and I’ll get out of your way?” she all but begs. She reaches out again, trying to curve her arm up from below so that Mama Pigeon doesn’t see her coming and she can just snatch her taser back.

She moves slowly, with careful intent, and she can feel Steve and Barrett’s eyes following her every move. They’re all so intent on watching Darcy, however, that they don’t see the U-Haul van come to a jolting stop in the alley below them. The passenger side door of the van opens, and another one of the roommates, Jess, steps out to stare gape mouthed at the sight above them. “What the fuck is going on?!” she yells up at the crowd on the fire escape.

“Darcy’s taser got taken hostage by a pigeon!” Barrett yells back.

Darcy twists to give Barrett a glare, which makes Steve scramble to get an even tighter grip on the ropes keeping her in place. “I wasn’t the one who knocked it out the window, butterfingers,” she spits out.

“Can we get this over with before you get arrested for illegal carry? And before you scare off your new roommate?” Steve cocks his head in the direction of the street below, at the young black woman who’d stepped out from the driver’s seat of the van and who had joined Jess in staring up at the chaos above them.

“Ooh, good point.” Darcy twists in the other direction to wave at the new woman, which is enough to make Steve lunge forward, quickly wrapping the loose rope around his forearm, and grab for the waistband of her shorts and at her hip to be certain that she doesn’t fall into the open dumpster in the alley below. “Hi! Monica, right? Welcome to the madhouse!”

Down on the street, Monica slides her eyes over to Jess with a knowing look. “You are very, very lucky that this is not the craziest thing I’ve seen in my life,” she says.

“It’s only Tuesday,” Jess replies with a nonchalant shrug, her eyes still watching the attempt at taser retrieval. “Just wait until the weekend.”

A/n: yes, that Monica. I couldn’t resist. :D

#dlaf2019 #darcy x steve #Darcy Lewis #Steve Rogers #fic #crack week 2019 #my fic #shieldshock #Dreamsverse #including all the OCs #I love my OCs

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stillsixpm · 6 years ago

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Chapters: 4/6 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis Characters: Darcy Lewis, James "Bucky" Barnes Additional Tags: Darcy Lewis April Fool's Crack Challenge, must include magnets, Eraser, glow sticks, strange ipod locations, mistaken flirtation Series: Part 3 of Adventures in Diplomacy Summary:

They've been around the galaxy a time or two and still haven't killed each other?

They've still got time. Their job isn't done yet, after all.

#dlaf2019 #darcy lewis #darcyland #wintershock #fydl

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fuckyeahdarcylewis · 6 years ago

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Some Offers Shouldn’t Be Refused

by ibelieveinturtles

Darcyland 3rd Annual Crack Challenge

Words: 1044, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 28 of Donuts in My Bra and Other Stories

Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Darcy Lewis, Brock Rumlow

Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Brock Rumlow

Additional Tags: dlaf2019, crack challenge 2019, redeeming!Brock Rumlow

from AO3 works tagged 'Darcy Lewis/Brock Rumlow' http://bit.ly/2IiZQBB via IFTTT

#IFTTT #AO3 works tagged 'Darcy Lewis/Brock Rumlow'#darcy x brock rumlow #fanfictions #mcu

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darcy-and-steve · 6 years ago

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by ibelieveinturtles

Darcyland 3rd Annual Crack Challenge

April 2 - An unexplainable predicament to explain - It’s not what it looks like… or maybe it’s exactly what it looks like? Either way, our girl’s gotta explain herself, one way or another!

Words: 1564, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English

Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Darcy Lewis, Steve Rogers

Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers

Additional Tags: dlaf2019, future shieldshock, possibly future wintershieldshock, powered!darcy, teleporting, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Challenge fic

darcysteve love via AO3 works tagged 'Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers'

#darcy x steve #starcy #shieldshock #IFTTT #Feedly

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ao3feed-wintershock · 6 years ago

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Available For World Ending Apocalyptic Emergencies Only

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2X6bqEw

by SerialObsessor (ibelieveinturtles)

Darcyland 3rd Annual Crack Challenge

April 4 - Must include magnets - Pretty self-explanatory. Any story at all, but with the added fun of magnets.

Words: 1163, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 30 of Donuts in My Bra and Other Stories

Fandoms: Thor (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Darcy Lewis, James "Bucky" Barnes

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis

Additional Tags: dlaf2019, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Challenge fic, WinterShock - Freeform, Magnets

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2X6bqEw

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #mcu #wintershock #bucky barnes x darcy lewis #bucky barnes #darcy lewis

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ao3feed-janefoster · 6 years ago

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We Apologise For The Inconvenience

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2IBPgWJ

by ibelieveinturtles

Darcyland 3rd Annual Crack Challenge

April 7 - Strange iPod locations - Ever since the Son of Coul took that damn thing, it’s been causing Darcy grief. Where’d she end up finding it? and April 9 - Must include packing peanuts - Organic or styrofoam, you know it really doesn’t matter.

Words: 3424, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 32 of Donuts in My Bra and Other Stories

Fandoms: Thor (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster (Marvel), Phil Coulson, Brock Rumlow, Jack Rollins

Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Brock Rumlow

Additional Tags: Pre-Relationship, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Challenge fic, dlaf2019, Darcy’s iPod, packing peanuts, Rollins secretly videos Darcy’s excavation of the crate and sends it to Rumlow, Darcy schemes revenge, it becomes a long running prank war, they eventually meet, frenemies to lovers probably

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2IBPgWJ

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #jane foster

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dresupi · 6 years ago

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love in a zero-gravity climate

Darcy Lewis Crack Challenge 2019 | Day 8: Anti-Gravity |

Summary:

Darcy’s Tuesday is nothing special. She’s just sliding through a portal into space and helping a shirtless Captain America pilot a SHIELD spaceship back to earth.

All in a day’s work, right?

Steve wasn’t usually in the lab on Tuesdays.

Darcy couldn’t believe that was her final thought before she was sucked cleanly through the hole that had opened up in front of them. She could have had any number of distressing thoughts. Like… “Gee, I hope there’s oxygen where we’re going” or “Gosh, I hope the lifeforms we encounter are friendly.” But no. Her first and only thought as she and Captain America were being slurped into another place in space was the downright KevinSmithsian thought, ‘Steve wasn’t even supposed to be here today.’

Darcy’s day had started off just fine. Up and out of bed after only hitting the snooze three times. That had to be some kind of a personal record for her. She’d grabbed coffee for herself and Jane, arriving at the lab only a few minutes later than her scheduled time, as opposed to her usual half an hour late.

Like always, her boss was working diligently. Possibly through the night, but Darcy had delegated that particular worry to one of the lab’s many interns. Scientist wrangling was behind her. She was only here to make enough money to pay off her student loans. And to work alongside her bestie. After she’d done that? The sky was the limit.

Meaning she hadn’t really figured things out that far in advance.

But that was really, okay, wasn’t it?

Jane was testing some portal gun, Darcy wasn’t sure of the exact logistics, but there was definitely some theoretical math involved because Janey had filled three whiteboards with her calculations.

Much of the morning was spent calibrating some of the more touchy equipment so Jane could pull the trigger thingie on the portal gun and swear at it for not working.

Or at least, that’s what Dr. Foster was doing. Whether that was what Jane had in mind for her Tuesday was up for debate.

Darcy left for lunch, bringing something up for Jane on her way back. It was then that she noticed the Star Spangled Man with a Plan himself. He was standing over near Tony talking in a very low and solemn tone if the expression on his face was any indication.

He was wearing a white t-shirt and jogging pants. Sneakers.

So he was probably fresh from the gym. Or headed there afterward. Yeah, definitely that second one because he wasn’t sweaty or anything.

But did he sweat, though? Darcy nearly toppled over a rolling cart that Jane had pushed away, too deep in her thoughts to notice its existence until it stopped her from moving forward. She ran into it, hitting her hip, which smarted and made a hugely loud racket that she really hoped no one heard.

They did hear it. Of fucking course.

It interrupted Steve and Tony’s discussion of boring and brought Steve over to inquire as to whether or not she was okay. “Are you alright?” he asked, his brow furrowing with a worry that made her cheeks feel hot. Why was Steve Rogers worried about her clumsiness?

She wasn’t okay, but it wasn’t because of the cart. And she didn’t know how to tell him that, so she opened and closed her mouth like a fish, but no sound came out at first. Dumb nerves.

It was at that precise moment in which Jane pressed the button on the doohickey gun again, opening up a swirling, sparkling black hole in front of Darcy and Steve.

Darcy let out a tiny screech as the hole’s force pulled her towards it, the absent thought of ‘Steve wasn’t usually in the lab on Tuesdays,” floated through her head. She heard Jane’s frantic voice calling her name. Or the beginning of it, anyway. Just “Dar!”

And that was as far as Darcy got before the wormhole spit herself and Steve out and closed behind them.

She panicked the second she opened her eyes.

Floating. They were floating.

She sucked in a deep breath and was met with no resistance. No horrible feeling like her lungs were about to explode or she was going to drown.

“Leapin’ fucknuts,” she exclaimed, reaching out to brush her fingertips over the wall of the room they were in.

No. Not a room. There were windows. A windshield. Some kind of crazy piloting apparatus. And nothing but black sky and stars out the front windshield. It was small, the area. No longer than about twelve feet of ‘walking’ space from the windshield to the back of the craft.

“I was going to go with ‘holy shit’, but yours is better,” Steve said, chuckling a little as he floated past. Below her. He seemed oddly calm for someone thrust into zero gravity in outer freaking space.

“Where are we?” Darcy asked, looking around rapidly for something to hold onto. She settled for what could have passed as a towel rack on the ceiling, clinging to it like a scared cat on a tree branch. “Does any of this look familiar to you?”

“This certainly feels familiar,” Steve muttered, probably thinking she wouldn’t hear him. But she did. She really fucking did and she wished she hadn’t.

He used the floor grate to pull himself forward and to push up. His eyes scanned the room as he floated up to the ceiling. “Actually, this does look familiar… I think this a SHIELD ship…”

Darcy hated that he used the word ‘ship’ and not ‘plane’ or ‘quinjet’.

“Does that mean you know how to pilot it?” she asked hopefully.

He made a scoffing sound. “Not a ship like this. I only know planes. But I do know there’s a comm under the pilot’s seat. Emergency backup battery. We should be able to contact someone on the ground and let them know we’re here. And we can get further instructions that way.”

Steve pushed off the ceiling and Darcy heard a tiny tearing sound.

Alarmed, she looked up just in time to see Steve’s white t-shirt fluttering past so she was treated to an eyeful of Captain Pecs and his Glorious Abs.

Steve either didn’t notice or figured it was a lost cause in the situation they were in. Either way, he didn’t address it. Instead, he rummaged around under the pilot’s seat. He found the comm right where he said it’d be.

He sent out a call. “This is Captain Rogers… I’m not sure where I am, but I know I’m in outer space. There’s a civilian with me, get back soon. Over.”

A voice, clear as crystal responded. “Come again, Captain? Over.”

Steve planted his feet on the ceiling and repeated his message, only to be treated to a long silence.

“How are you there, when we just clocked you in NYC?”

He glanced back at Darcy for confirmation and she floated over, grabbing the comm. “I work for Dr. Jane Foster. She was working on an interdimensional wormhole generator and might have accidentally sent us here. Wherever ‘here’ is. Uh. Over.”

The man on the other side didn’t miss a beat. “Is she in NYC as well? Because I have on file a frantic call from that area thirty seconds ago. Lots of screaming, something about a wormhole? Over.”

“Affirmative, over,” Steve replied.

Darcy pressed her hand to her heart. Her Janey was already looking for her.

“Okay, we’ll get more info once you’re back on Earth. In the meantime, we’ll get the power reserves turned back on. It’ll take a little while, but the only other way is to switch it on manually from the outside. You’d need a space suit. There are two on board, but neither of you is trained for that. “

Steve got some kind of look in his eyes, handing the comm to Darcy, who hurriedly signed off and floated after Steve, having to push off the windshield to do so.

She’d have no way of actually stopping Captain America in normal situations. But since there was no gravity, she could wrap her arms around his waist and yank him backward if she hooked her feet around the headrest on the pilot’s chair. Which she did.

And it really was a power trip, watching that muscley fella fly backward every time he made for the back of the ship, to where the space suits were.

“Let me go,” he said, attempting to spin around and just ending up spinning himself in place.

Darcy tried not to laugh, but it was hard.

“Stop it. I’ve been trapped on a doomed ship before,” he reiterated. Like she didn’t know.

“I know, dude. Everyone knows what you did. You’re in every US History book. Is this some kind of claustrophobia or…”

“No. I signed up for this. You didn’t.”

Darcy tilted her head, throwing a look his way that could have frozen ice if they were back on earth. “Dude. Do you think I didn’t sign up for this? My boss is a renowned astrophysicist. I handled the Dark Elf invasion. And I totally beat Thor in hand to hand combat.”

“You tased him while he was weakened,” Steve retorted. “And no. You didn’t sign up for perilous situations like this.”

“First of all, don’t take my victory away from me. I know you’re freaking out a little, but really. There’s no need to be rude. I’d never tell you that you didn’t beat Thor in hand-to-hand combat.”

Steve smirked. “I beat Thor in hand-to-hand combat.”

“Okay, not to be a stickler, but you didn’t. I did. Weakened form still counts.”

“Fine, you beat Thor and I didn’t. But--”

“Look, I’m an agent with SHIELD too. I’m learning self-defense from the Black Widow. I have a badge thingie just like you do. My clearance level isn’t as high, but whatever. The point is, I signed up for this, knowing damn well something like this would happen. And I’ll be damned if Captain 1940s-Booty-Shorties is going to manhandle me into a submissive role!”

He stopped struggling, but it didn’t matter much, it was still spinning them around until he reached out and placed his palm against the wall. “1940s Nooty Shorties?”

“I saw the pics, Cap. I know those were booty shorts and tights.”

He smirked a little and stopped trying to ditch her.

“Fine. So we’ll just sit here until they turn the remote power on?”

“We can thank our lucky stars that there’s oxygen in here,” Darcy mused as they slowly spun around the cockpit. Like the slowest and least controllable 3D tour ever.

“Not to burst your bubble, but I think it might be limited to what’s already here. The fact that we came from a place with oxygen also probably helped matters. Some got sucked in with us through the wormhole.”

“And you’ve been sucking it down in your attempt to Herosplain this situation to me?” she gasped, clapping one hand over her mouth.

“You mean save you? Because my argument was that I was the best candidate to go on a spacewalk and turn on the backup power.”

“No. I mean herosplain me. Like I didn’t fight the Dark Elves and I don’t know you have some kind of superhero complex about self-worth and whatever.”

“Touche…” he replied. “I won’t do that again, sorry. I was just…”

Darcy filled in for him. “You were just being Captain America. But I think this situation calls for Steve.”

“Steve, I can do. I think.” He reached out for one of the handles. “So… you wanna turn flips or something to pass the time?”

“I don’t really believe that you aren’t going to make a break for that space suit, but actually, yes? I’ve always wanted to have a zero-gravity flip contest.”

She had to yank him back from the space suits three times, and from the look on his face, he could probably keep this up all day. But so could she.

Darcy resolved the situation by wrapping both arms around his bare waist and hanging on for dear life.

“Are you going to hug me all day until the gravity comes back?” Steve asked, a smile apparent in his voice.

Darcy shrugged. “Maybe? You can’t go outside with a whole-ass me attached to you.”

“Fine, but I’m hugging you too.” He proceeded to twist in her arms and wrap his beefy biceps of justice around her shoulders, resting his chin on her head. She almost let go of him, but she had a sneaking suspicion that was what he wanted.

She sniffed. “Why are you hugging me? I’m not going anywhere.” She glanced up at him, her eyes meeting his for a long moment.

“Okay. Me either,” he conceded.

She snorted. “Ha, LIke I actually believe you”

“You don’t believe Captain America?” Steve joked. “I stand for truth, justice, and freedom. If you can’t trust me, you can’t trust anybody.”

“Yup, that’s right,” she replied, her arms tightening around his body, pressing her cheek snugly to his shoulder. “I’m not falling for that, Rogers.”

“Fine by me. I’m enjoying this.”

So was she, but she kind of wasn’t going to tell him that.

Their little cuddle-fest was interrupted just a few seconds later.

“Captain Rogers? This is SHIELD Mission Control. We’re turning on the gravity boosters and are ready to talk you through your return flight to earth. Are you ready? Over.”

Darcy felt Steve laugh a little. “I feel like I should ask for ten more minutes…”

“How about I give you double that when we land back on terrain I’m familiar with?” Darcy asked.

“What do I do with my twenty minutes?” he asked.

“That’s entirely up to you,” she replied, cheekily

He smiled that genuine smile of his that had ceased being about honor and patriotism and had started being something that made Darcy a little weak in the knees. Gravity or no.

“We’re ready, SMC. Tell us what to do first, over.”

Darcy couldn’t help but smile a little. She had plans. With a guy. To land a spaceship and spend twenty minutes doing… well, the specifics didn’t matter. She was making plans. Apparently, the sky wasn’t the limit anymore.

Not bad for a regular Tuesday, honestly.

#Shieldshock #Darcy Lewis #Steve Rogers #Darcy/Steve #dlaf2019 #Crack Challenge

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ibelieveinturtles · 6 years ago

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Darcyland Crack Challenge

April 2 - An unexplainable predicament to explain - It’s not what it looks like… or maybe it’s exactly what it looks like? Either way, our girl’s gotta explain herself, one way or another!

With more time and about twice as many words this would probably be twice as good but it’ll do for now... just pretend there’s 1000 words of mutual pining or something preceding this...

again, un-beta’d etc.

“But what is it?” Darcy asked, turning the pencil-shaped metal rod over in her hands. “And what does it do?”

“I don’t know,” Jane replied, shrugging as she examined her own unidentified piece of metal. “It was in a box of junk I found in the warehouse a few weeks ago. As far as I can tell, it isn’t anything.”

“It has to be something. Ouch!” Darcy turned it over one last time before abruptly dropping it onto the desk and sticking her finger in her mouth.

“Are you okay?” Jane asked, a concerned frown wrinkling her brow.

“It bit me,” Darcy said, a sulky pout pursing her lips.

“Inanimate objects can’t bite, Darcy.”

“Tell that to your metal biting stick,” Darcy retorted. “See? I'm bleeding! Anyway, I have to go now. I’ll see you at dinner?”

“Yep.” Jane didn’t look up as Darcy left, just waved a hand in farewell.

Darcy completely forgot about the strange metal stick that had stuck her over the next several hours. She busily went about her day, running errands, taking (and making) phone calls, and generally keeping busy. After her work day finished she trudged back to the apartment she shared with Jane and peered tiredly into the fridge. It was just as empty now as it was this morning because she forgot to put the grocery order in yesterday. She didn't get it done today, either.

She was about to reach for the eggs when the memory of half a leftover lasagne surfaced in her brain. It was probably still in the common area’s kitchen freezer! Shutting the fridge door, she spun on her heel and came to an abrupt halt as she ran straight into the kitchen island counter.

Which was odd because she didn't have an island counter in her kitchen. The only kitchen big enough for an island counter was- was the kitchen in the Avengers common room.

She was still staring confusedly at the marble benchtop when the door burst open, releasing a veritable torrent of Avengers into the common room.

“Darcy!” Clint greeted her with an enthusiastic grin. “Whatcha cookin’?”

“What?” Darcy looked up. “Um. Nothing. I was just, um. Lasagne.” With a little mental shake she flashed a grin at the group. “I forgot to order groceries for me and Jane and then I remembered that leftover lasagne from the other week and I'm really hoping it's still in the freezer.”

Steve - who was already at the freezer - pulled the package out. “Still here,” he said, peering around the door at her, “but we're ordering pizza if you'd like to join us?”

“Oh, um.” Any other day Darcy would jump at the chance to have pizza with the team Steve but right now she just wanted to get out of here so she could freak out. “Thanks but I'm really tired and I just want a quiet night in. Maybe next time?”

“You're sure? It's from that nice family store you like so much.”

“Yeah, I just- I'm very tired,” she repeated. She stepped close enough to take the container and with a “Thanks,” and a short smile, went back to her apartment, put the lasagne in the oven to reheat, and freaked out until it was ready to eat.

Darcy slept fitfully that night, getting up to the bathroom twice, and tossing and turning more than the chefs at the Pancake Palace. She woke up with scratchy eyes, a slight headache, and a wish that it was Saturday. A shower helped a little bit she still hadn’t done the grocery order and was all out of cereal and coffee. At least she had milk…

She zombied her way through the first hour or two of work. And while the coffee in the break room was tolerable, it wasn’t really what she wanted - and it certainly wasn’t good enough to see her through the four meetings she had scheduled today.

The first meeting was with the Avengers to discuss which publicity opportunities they wanted to take, and who would be attending each one. Luckily it was an easy discussion as each team member preferred attending different types of events. Steve made a point of asking if she felt better today, and after the meeting Natasha hung back for the same purpose.

“How are you feeling today?” she asked. “Do you feel better after your quiet night in?”

Darcy smiled as she replied. “Ugh. Not really. I didn’t sleep very well and I still haven’t done my groceries, so I’m all out of decent coffee.”

“There’s plenty of coffee in the common room - you know you’re welcome any time.”

“Thanks, Natasha. I might just visit after my next meeting.”

After a bit more conversation Natasha left for training and Darcy headed for her next meeting. At least it was a teleconference so she didn’t actually have to share a room with anyone this time.

By the time her next meeting finished, all she wanted was an egg and bacon croissant and the biggest, strongest cup of coffee money could buy.

As soon as the last person left the teleconference, she picked up her purse, pocketed her phone and stood up.

The world blurred.

Darcy blinked to clear her vision and took an off-balance step backwards. “Oh no, not again,” she moaned. She was in the main foyer of the facility, hidden from view by a large potted tree that lived right next to the coffee cart.

She continued turning on the spot, confused and disoriented. Unfortunately, all this achieved was dizziness.

“Get a grip, Lewis,” she muttered. “Coffee. Maybe I just need coffee so badly that I don’t remember leaving my office and taking the elevator to the lobby. Yeah, that must be it. I zoned out, auto-piloted.”

Darcy bought coffee and a croissant, and then concentrated very hard on everything she did until she got back to her office.

Over the next several days Darcy experienced several more of the strange incidents. She would be busy doing something, and then suddenly she’d find herself somewhere completely different.

Maria’s office after she realised she’d left her phone behind.

The bathrooms in the east wing when the west wing ones were closed due to a burst pipe.

Tony’s (empty) workshop when she needed him to sign some urgent paperwork but had forgotten he wasn’t here this week.

The stationery storeroom when her pen broke, spilling ink everywhere.

A broom cupboard.

And then… and then one evening she got home after a very long and stressful day, kicked off her shoes and went to collapse on her sofa...

Only the sofa she landed on wasn’t hers.

And it wasn’t in her apartment.

And it was already occupied.

She leapt up with a startled squawk, turning around so quickly she almost fell back into the lap of- “Steve? Why are you on my sofa?”

Steve was just as startled as Darcy. There he was, enjoying a nice relaxing lay-back-with-your-eyes-closed-but-don’t-fall-asleep on his sofa when a lap full of Darcy Lewis appeared out of nowhere.

He knew she hadn’t come in via the door or the vents or any other way because he would have heard it. Nope, he’d been definitely the only person in his apartment.

“Darcy?”

But Darcy wasn’t listening. She was looking around in bewilderment at furniture, furnishings, and decorations that definitely weren’t hers.

“Wait- this isn’t my apartment?”

“Ah, no - it’s mine? How did you get here?”

“I- I don’t know?” She turned worried eyes on him. “I was in my apartment, sitting on my sofa. What the hell happened, Steve?”

“You appeared out of nowhere and landed in my lap. That’s what happened,” Steve said, sitting up and leaning forward.

Darcy frowned at him. “What do you mean, I appeared out of nowhere?”

Steve shrugged, never taking his eyes off the visibly shaken woman standing in front of him. “One minute I was here on my own, the next you were sitting in my lap.”

“So- I didn’t walk here?”

“Not that I saw or heard. You just - appeared.”

“What? Like a- a teleport or something?”

Steve thought about this for a moment and then stared at Darcy with curious worry. “Yeah. Exactly like a teleport.”

“What the hell? How, Steve? Why is this happening to me? I thought I was just- I dunno, blacking out or something.” Darcy’s voice became more frantic with each word.

Steve only just managed to hide his shock at Darcy’s words. “Darcy - has this happened before?”

She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. “It’s been happening for several days now. One minute I’m in one place, the next I’m somewhere completely different.”

Steve stood up. “You’ve been experiencing this for several days and you haven’t told anyone?”

She shook her head, and he could see she was shaking. He took a careful step closer, moving slowly so as not to spook her. “How about I take you to medical and we’ll get you checked out?”

“You think something’s wrong with me?”

Steve chose his words carefully. “No, but I do think something about you must have changed if you’ve suddenly started teleporting all over the place. Don’t you want to know why it’s happening?”

She glanced up him, bottom lip caught between her teeth and nodded. Steve offered her what he hoped was a reassuring smile, and held his hand out. “Come on then.”

#dlaf2019 #darcy lewis #steve rogers #future shieldshock #maybe even future wintershieldshock #teleporting

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aenariasbookshelf · 6 years ago

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Day two - an unexplainable predicament to explain

Crackfic week, day two: an unexplainable predicament to explain. Follows directly on from yesterday’s Dreamsverse ficlet, which can be found here. All the necessary notes for understanding the Dreamsverse can be found there also, especially the whole summer of 2012 and secret identity bits. These are incredibly fun to write, and they’ve been a great balm for the soul these days, so all love to @dresupi for coming up with this idea. Un-beta’ed and definitely not quality checked, because I am tired and this isn’t getting posted to AO3 just yet.

Someday I’ll write out how Darcy ended up being friends with Monica Rambeau in the Dreamsverse, but that won’t be today. Today is for cracky goodness. More author’s notes at the end of the ficlet, because spoilers. ;)

Day two - an unexplainable predicament to explain

It’s one of those days when Darcy is infinitely grateful she’s an office temp, because it means she’s not obligated to be upright and moving at the crack of dawn, unlike most of the people she knows. The bad thing about crashing at Steve’s apartment after a night full of various suspect cocktails, however, is that there’s that one ray of blinding sunlight coming through the window that manages to drive a spike of pain right into her cranium. She groans lowly, pulling Steve’s unoccupied pillow over her head to block the rest of the world out.

Darcy fully blames the judicious application of tequila the night before for her current state. She and Jess had dragged Monica out to welcome her to the apartment, and they’d ended up at a hole in the wall bad somewhere on Smith Street, pounding back more shots than any sane person should. Things got a little blurry after that. At least from what little Darcy can recollect. There may have been some wandering about, attempting to find the right subway station, she thinks. Then there was also, possibly, an encounter with a police officer. She remembers the blue uniform at least.

Eventually, they’d managed to pour themselves into a cab to get home, and once they got there Jess had leaned on Steve’s doorbell loud and long until he could “come show his drunken girlfriend a good time,” in the words of Jess and Monica at least. Steve, however, was far too much of a gentleman to do anything out of sorts, much to Darcy’s chagrin, and she has some fuzzy memories of him sweeping her up into his arms, carrying her into his bed, stripping off her going out clothes, and making her drink some water and some pills before she collapsed totally.

There’s a small noise behind her, footsteps most likely, and she peels the pillow off of her head to see Steve walking into the bedroom, a steaming mug of coffee in his hands. “Oh my god; you’re the best,” Darcy groans. With a powerful wince she pushes herself upright, holding her hands out for the life giving liquid.

“I’d ask how you feel,” Steve says carefully, settling himself down on the bed next to her, “but I recognize that look of pain all too well.”

“Well, I don’t quite want to die,” Darcy mumbles. Gingerly, she blows across the top of the mug and takes a sip, scorching her tongue just a little bit. “But my head’s got a marching band in it and I don’t quite remember everything about last night. So do with that what you will.”

“You were pretty giggly when you got in,” Steve confirms with an indulgent grin. “But as soon as you hit the bed, you were out.”

“That sounds about right.” She heaves a deep sigh, and looks down at the oversized shirt of Steve’s that’s become her pajamas when she stays over there (if she ends up wearing pajamas. Which, admittedly, doesn’t happen all that frequently). “I should shower. Get the stink of last night off of me.”

There’s a sharp rap at the door, which makes both of their heads swivel in the direction of the sound. “You expecting anyone?” Darcy asks.

“No.” Steve pushes himself off the bed, jaw clenched, and leaves to go answer the door. In the seconds it takes for that to happen, Darcy forces down the pain in her head and finds Steve’s bathrobe, to try and cover herself up a little more completely than just a t-shirt would. By the time she’s covered up and her head poking out of the bedroom, Steve’s back with a rather smug looking Monica trailing behind him. She holds up a loaded paper bag once she spots Darcy. “I come bearing greasy breakfast sandwiches. According to Jess it’s a traditional New York hangover breakfast.”

“Bless you,” Darcy sighs. The grabby hands come out again and soon she’s tearing into the sandwich, cheesy bacon and eggs making themselves at home in her mouth.

“Figure you’d need that after last night anyway,” Monica says. She crosses her arms over her chest and leans against the doorway to the living room, a smirk stealing across her lips. “You were having the best time out of all of us.”

“Don’t remind me,” Darcy grumbles, trying her hardest not to acknowledge the look of smug amusement Steve’s got on his face. “Actually, please do, because my brain’s still fuzzy.”

Monica’s smirk grows even more, and Darcy can feel her stomach drop out from under her. She blames it on the hangover. “Oh, you mean where you almost got arrested for groping a statue?” she states, ever so casually.

“I what?!” Darcy chokes out, a bit of her sandwich getting lodged in her throat for just a moment. She coughs to clear it out, but even over that she can hear Monica’s cackling.

“Wait, really?” Steve asks, and if Darcy wasn’t feeling as crap as she did she’d hit him for sounding far too amused at her predicament.

“Uh-huh,” Monica grins. “So, apparently, or at least according to the legend the cop told me last night, because we know fuck all about the truth,” she begins, the Louisiana drawl in her voice becoming even more pronounced as she settles into her story, “Captain America’s a good ol’ local boy from around here, and so they put a statue up right in front of the Barclay’s Center downtown. After we left the bar last night we got a little turned around and ended up in front of the subway stop there, which coincidentally has the statue placed right outside of it.” She shrugs, giving Darcy a look that can only be called impish. “You did say you were feeling affectionate.”

Darcy pointedly ignores the slight sounds of Steve’s disbelieving choking in the background in favor of gingerly taking the phone Monica’s handing her. She winces again at the sight of the picture, featuring her in all of her glory, a shit eating grin on her face, a hand splayed over the star in the center of the bronze Cap’s chest, and a leg that looked like it was attempting to wrap across his thighs but instead just sort of crookedly draped over it. “Oh, god,” she moans. “I can explain?”

Steve’s still making those weird little choking noises in the background, but as Darcy’s pretty sure he’s not dying of embarrassment, she looks down at the picture again. “Actually, I can’t explain? Maybe the tequila can? Or maybe I just wanted to pay homage to a local hero? Because the pecs of freedom there are pretty impressive.” She shakes her head, her fingers clenching around the cellphone. The hysterical part of it all is that Darcy is fairly certain that her original, drunken statement of feeling affection was entirely accurate, because if she couldn’t have her boyfriend and his super duper secret identity hanging out with her on girls’ night, the bronze replica was the next best thing. Even if, up close and personal, the statue didn’t look at all like Steve, really.

The memory is too little too late, but it’s enough to pass the warm flush taking over her cheeks off as embarrassment instead of affection.

“Can you send me a copy of that picture?” Steve asks, his voice breaking through her fuzzy thoughts.

Before Darcy can react and delete the offending picture, Monica gleefully snatches her phone back and dashes the pic over to Steve, creating copies for all of them to enjoy. “Public fucking menaces,” Darcy groans.

“You did say I needed to change my phone background from the default,” Steve points out, which sets Monica cackling again and Darcy burying her face in the nearest throw pillow because really, all of her friends were assholes.

**********

A/n: Okay, so while I may have fudged the real world dates a bit, the Captain America statue in Brooklyn is a real thing, and at one point in time it was actually located in front of the Barclay’s Center (and yeah, one time when I was meeting my sister and cousins there for a hockey game, I did in fact get a text saying that they were standing in front of the Captain America statue, which is probably one of the crackiest text messages I’ve ever received in my whole life, which is saying a lot). The statue has since been moved to a new location, if I recall correctly, doing a tour of the borough before it lands in its permanent placement in Prospect Park.

Last I heard the Cap statue was set up in the entryway of a Bed, Bath, and Beyond way in the depths of Brooklyn in Sunset Park, of all places. Only in Brooklyn, of course.

#dlaf2019 #darcy x steve #Darcy Lewis #Steve Rogers #fic #shieldshock #crack week 2019 #Dreamsverse #Monica Rambeau #who totally does have a backstory in this verse - i just haven't put it to paper yet

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