#OH MY GOD IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS AND I KEEP FORGETTING TO POST THIS

[earthgrudgefear]

hi for the love of god hello.

[rcmclachlan]

Uh-oh spaghettios, I accidentally wrote more pregnant!Buck.

+

In a shocking twist, the squirrelly-looking resident who's tasked with administering the spinal (and who Tommy keeps side-eyeing like he's mentally preparing himself to take her down if she makes any sudden movements) turns out to be a rockstar, because Buck doesn't even feel the pinch of the local anesthetic, never mind the actual horse needle. Even Nadine, their nurse, blinks after it's over and says, "I've been doing this for thirty-three years and I've never seen a spinal go that smoothly."

Which means the two weeks Buck devoted to reading Reddit posts about bad experiences with pre-C-section subarachnoid blocks were all for nothing. He could've done something more productive with that time instead of silently spiral. Like deep clean the bathroom or build a birdhouse.

He forgets to be mad about it the moment his legs start tingling, and from there it's only a few minutes before his body goes completely numb from the chest down. "Holy shit, that is so weird. It's just—it's a complete void. Babe, punch me."

One of the nurses is in the middle of putting a sterile blue scrub cap over Tommy's hair and stops what she's doing to stare at Buck in horror. Tommy just sighs through his surgical mask and says, "No thanks."

"You could stick your entire arm inside me and I wouldn't even know," Buck tells him, delighted, as they wheel him into the operating room. It really is like there's nothing below his sternum. "You could carry me around and work me like a muppet."

Dr. Esfahani must catch the second half of that because she starts laughing so hard she almost falls off the stool she's sitting on.

"Glad to see we've got our head in the game," she chortles. "How are you feeling, Evan?"

"I'm not!" He says cheerfully while two nurses set up the curtain across his belly. "Doc, have you ever had a spinal block?"

"Sadly, no." Dr. Esfahani's eyes curve above the edge of her mask. "And when I had my kids, their labors were so quick that I didn't have time for an epidural, either. Be grateful you'll never know what it's like to push the equivalent of a Ferrari through a keyhole unmedicated."

"Bad ass," Buck whispers, and she laughs again, then spends the next two minutes introducing everyone on the surgical team. They're all standing at the ready like a NASCAR pit crew.

Once the introductions are over, Dr. Esfahani turns her attention elsewhere. "How about you, Tommy? You ready?"

Tommy's sitting at Buck's shoulder like a particularly attentive German Shepherd, his gloved fingers trembling where they're slotted between Buck's. "I'll just be glad when she's out and Evan gets the all clear."

Months ago their OBGYN walked them through the reality and the risks of carrying to term—for whatever reason, male anatomy means there's a much higher risk of atony, which means a higher risk of hemorrhaging—and Tommy's been a nervous wreck ever since. He thinks Buck doesn't know, and to his credit he's hidden it well. Not once has he ever shown Buck anything less than bright-eyed enthusiasm and excitement about starting this next chapter of their lives, but Buck has woken up more than once in the middle of the night to find himself clutched against a rabbiting heartbeat while Tommy whispered, voice cracking in half, "Please, please, God, please..."

Buck turns his head to look up at him. He looks like what's-his-name at the very end of The Departed: goofy as shit in all the sterile wear the nurses made him put on. He even has to wear the puffy shoe covers. Between the scrub cap and the mask, his face is almost completely obscured, but all it does is highlight his eyes, which are fixed on Buck like there's no one else in the world, let alone the room.

"You look so stupid," Buck says thickly, squeezing Tommy's hand hard enough that something audibly pops. For a second, he thinks he might explode from the sheer build-up of love in his body, which would be so embarrassing, considering everyone in the room is there specifically to make sure he makes it out of here intact. "I've never been more attracted to you. Wanna make out?"

"You know I would, but I don't think they'll give us new masks," Tommy murmurs, every bit as tender and sincere as he was five months into dating, when he'd interrupted Buck's passionate defense of ocean sunfish to say, "I'm in love with you. Sorry. I just—what were you saying about swim bladders?"

"He's right," the scrub nurse says, deadpan. "We're rationing those. You take it off, you're outta here."

Buck squints at her. "I don't think no shirt, no shoes, no service rules apply."

She squints right back. "Please tell me more about the rules of this hospital, Mr. Buckley."

"Evan, stop antagonizing the very nice, very knowledgeable person holding the tray of very sharp instruments," Tommy says. The corners of his eyes are crinkled in a specific way that means it's taking all his willpower to play the rational adult and not join in on the snarkfest.

Seriously. The human body can't hold an entire baby and all this love without serious complications, right? What if they cut into him and he just starts flying around the room like an untied balloon?

"All right, all right," Dr. Esfahani says, clapping her gloved hands together. "Time to add one more child to this veritable daycare. What do you say, Evan, Tommy? Are you ready to become parents?"

The reality of the situation hits him suddenly like a second lightning strike, and he grips Tommy's hand hard as he rides the waves of excitement and terror, inhaling and exhaling through his nose to help ground himself.

He closes his eyes and thinks of Evan Buckley of nine months ago, sliding to the floor of Tommy's bathroom and weeping bitterly because the test in his hand was a death knell for the relationship he'd finally found after searching his whole life.

If he could go back in time—before Tommy got so freaked out by Buck's incoherent sobbing and the locked bathroom door that he broke it down; before Buck babbled apology after apology for his parents' negligence by not having him tested for the carrier gene, for being the one to suggest they stop using condoms in the first place, for wanting to keep it even though it meant the end of them; before Buck took the test because Chim had jokingly said earlier that day, "you've looked and acted like a wrung-out sponge all week, are you pregnant or something?" and felt like the ground was crumbling beneath his feet when the little plus sign appeared—he would take that scared, resigned man into his arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Better than okay, even. Everything was going to be amazing beyond his wildest dreams.

"He stays," Buck would whisper, and hold him so tight they'd start to merge. "Not because he thinks he has to, but because he wants to. He stays because he loves you and what you've made together. You're enough. Isn't that wild?"

When Buck opens his eyes, Tommy's right there, looking at him with so much love and pride in his gaze that it's palpable. Literally. She's moving around in his belly like she's doing stretches to prepare for what's about to happen. Like she's every bit as impatient as they are to finally be part of the life they're building.

"I'm not scared if you're not," Buck rasps, and tilts his head up as Tommy leans down and kisses him through the mask.

"Speak for yourself: I'm terrified. But when has that ever stopped us?" Tommy presses another kiss to his mouth like a notary affixing an official seal. "Let's get this show on the road, huh? Let's meet our kid."

An hour and change later, they lay her, clean and perfect and swaddled into a sleepy burrito wearing a little hat, on Buck's chest where she gets to hear his heartbeat from the outside for the first time.

He stares down at her, awed speechless, and thinks, oh, now I'm going to explode from love. Everyone hit the deck.

Tommy doesn't get to hold her for almost fifteen minutes because he's crying so hard that Dr. Esfahani refuses to hand her over until she's reasonably sure Tommy won't drop her.

"I think Dad needs to take pointers from you," Buck murmurs to her tenderly. She squirms a little in a way that feels like agreement before she falls asleep, already bored with existence. "Your daughter says you're totally not the cool dad."

"That's fair," Tommy sobs into Buck's scrub cap.

[solarmorrigan]

Everybody's Dying to Be Here

For the @steddie-spooktober day 12 prompt: Graveyard Rated: T | Words: 1561 | CW: suicidal thoughts (vague; you don't necessarily have to take it that way) | Tags: pre-relationship, Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson friendship, Steve Harrington needs a hug, Eddie Munson is a sweetheart, in his own way, post-season 2 AU Divider credit: @steddiecameraroll-graphics

Eddie has been coming to the graveyard to smoke for years.

It’s not really that he can’t smoke at the trailer; his uncle knows he smokes, has bummed cigarettes off of him before, says he figures there are worse habits for Eddie to pick up, it's just that it’s peaceful there.

There are hardly ever people around, and if there are, they’re not really inclined to talk. Otherwise, there’s a lot of open air, room to walk, green grass, interesting headstones if Eddie’s in the mood to look, and there’s a tree that sits at the top of a gentle slope of a hill that offers a nice view of the surrounding town that can almost make Eddie forget how much he hates the place.

It’s Eddie’s own personal haven.

At least, he'd thought it was.

“You’re in my spot,” Eddie says, staring down at the interloper.

Steve Harrington, who is sitting on top of Eddie’s hill, under Eddie’s tree, turns his battered face up towards Eddie, squinting at him in the sunlight.

“Are you dead?” Steve finally asks.

It’s Eddie’s turn to stare, uncomprehending, at Steve. “Nooo,” he says slowly. “Are you concussed?”

Steve holds up his forefinger and thumb, pinched together to indicate a little bit, and it’s been almost two weeks since he first showed up at school looking like someone had tried to turn his face into mincemeat, the bruising now all sickly yellow and brown, and Eddie realizes he has no idea how long concussions last. A while, apparently.

“Anyway, if you’re not dead, I don’t think you can have a spot in the cemetery,” Steve says with a shrug, and–

Well.

“Touché,” Eddie says, plopping down next to Steve beneath the tree.

He pulls his cigarettes out, shakes one from the box, and then, because his uncle didn’t raise a complete savage, he tilts the box at Steve in offering. Steve begs off with a shake of his head and Eddie shrugs, lighting up and taking a drag.

“So,” he says on his first breath of smoke, “what brings King Steve out among Hawkins’ illustrious dead?”

For one, long minute, Steve says nothing, and just when Eddie thinks he’s being ignored, Steve lets his head fall back against the tree and murmurs, “Just wanted somewhere quiet to be, I guess.”

“Oh? The life of partying royalty getting to be a bit much for you?” Eddie asks.

He knows he isn’t being entirely fair; Steve’s never really done anything to Eddie, personally, and for the latter half of last year and the beginning of this one, he’s actually been pretty decent. Fairly quiet, if nothing else, mostly hanging off of Nancy Wheeler and keeping his head down. In any case, Steve doesn’t seem to take offense, just lets out a little breath of unamused laughter and continues staring out over the town.

“Kinda realized that most of the people I used to party with were dicks, and I didn’t want to be around them anymore,” he says. “Nance– she and I aren��t… together anymore, so I can’t really hang out with her. My dad’s still pissed at me for getting into a fight, so I can’t stay home. The twelve-year-old who thinks I’m responsible for him now is actually cool, but god he can be loud, and I just wanted some quiet, so… here I am.”

There’s… a lot to unpack there. Like, so much to unpack. Eddie has questions. Many questions.

Somehow, though, he doesn’t think his prying would be appreciated, so all he offers is, “Damn. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, then, huh? Hanging out with the school freak.”

“To be fair, I didn’t actually know you’d be out here,” Steve says, sending Eddie a sidelong smirk to let him in on the joke. “Didn’t know I was stealing your spot, either.”

Because Eddie can hardly be mad at him for it now, he just shrugs. “Eh. It’s a free graveyard. I think.” Eddie pauses, blinking down at the headstones spread out before them. “Damn, do you think you have to pay to be buried? That’d be fucked up.”

“I have no idea,” Steve says. “Pretty sure you have to pay for a tombstone, at least.”

“Shit. Society, man.” Eddie shakes his head. “Finding ways to squeeze money out of you even after death.”

“I guess,” Steve says vaguely.

He doesn’t really seem like he’s interested in continuing the conversation, and Eddie guesses that’s fair enough. He’d come out here expecting to be alone, and Eddie had come out expecting the same. He’s not even sure why he’s trying to engage Steve Harrington in conversation at all, except that there’s something a little– lost about him right now, and that’s always drawn Eddie in like a cat to a sunbeam.

That doesn’t mean Steve actually needs him, though, so Eddie lets them both lapse into silence.

He’s just about finished his cigarette when Steve speaks again, almost startling Eddie.

“D’you ever think about where you’d want to be buried?” Steve asks.

“What, like when I die?” Eddie asks, feeling a little slow to pick up on this new turn Steve’s taken them down.

“Yeah,” Steve says.

“Uh… hopefully far away from the shithole,” Eddie says, stubbing his cigarette out in the dirt beside him. “I want to get the hell out of here before I die.”

Steve hums. “Bet you will,” he says after a moment, and that surprises Eddie even more than his original morbid question.

“You figure?” Eddie says, and he’s trying for sarcastic, but he thinks something genuine might have snuck its way into his tone.

“Sure.” Steve shrugs. “You’re ambitious. You’ve gotta be some kind of smart, all those speeches you’re always giving. You want it badly enough, I bet you’ll get out of here.”

“I think the Hawkins Public School system would beg to differ with you on most of those points, Steve,” Eddie says, and Steve shrugs.

“Fuck ‘em, then,” he says simply, and that’s–

In its own, weird way, it’s more faith than anyone other than his uncle has shown in Eddie in what seems like a long time, and Eddie’s not sure how to feel about it.

Steve, oblivious to the way he’s currently shaking Eddie’s worldview, goes on. “I think I want to be buried over there,” he says, pointing to a spot on the west end of the graveyard.

“Near the fence?” Eddie asks, following Steve’s finger.

“Yeah. Looks nice over there. Not too crowded, and there’s roses. Or, I think that’s a rose bush.” Steve squints down at the shrubbery for a moment before shrugging. “Whatever. It just looks nice.”

“I guess,” Eddie says slowly, turning to look at Steve, who doesn’t look back.

“I should probably tell someone,” Steve says, almost as if he’s talking to himself now. “My parents would probably pick somewhere stupid to stick me.”

And– shit.

It doesn’t really sound like Steve’s talking about some hypothetical future time when he dies of old age; it sounds an awful lot more like he doesn’t even expect to outlive his parents – like maybe he’s talking about a much less hypothetical soon.

“You, uh… spend a lot of time thinking about when you’re gonna die?” Eddie asks, and immediately wishes he could suck the words back up, because that is a terrible way to continue this conversation.

Steve shrugs, turning a wry look on Eddie. “Kinda hard not to.”

“Right. Right.” Eddie nods, and – what the fuck?

What the fuck? Is he talking about everything that’s happened recently – all the weird shit in town, or the way he keeps getting his ass kicked, or the way his life has imploded and now he’s thinking about–

“So what’s your plan for the rest of the day?” Eddie blurts out.

“I don’t really have one.” Steve shrugs. “Figured I’d just stay out here for a while.”

Eddie frowns. They’re well into November by now; Steve is wearing a nicer coat than Eddie’s, but it’s still cold out. Too cold to just be sitting outside indefinitely. Eddie’s certainly not going to sit outside indefinitely, but he also gets the feeling that maybe this guy shouldn’t be left alone right now, which is precisely why he finds himself offering, “You wanna come back to mine and watch a movie?”

Steve turns to stare at Eddie, as if this is the weirdest part of the conversation they’ve had.

“Why?” Steve asks.

“Maybe I’m bored, and you’re the most interesting thing that’s happened to me all day,” Eddie says, gratified when Steve gives him a little laugh. “It’s more fun watching a movie with someone, anyway. What d’you say?”

Steve watches him for a moment longer, as if he’s searching for something, trying to puzzle Eddie out. He seems to find whatever it is he’s looking for, though, because he finally nods.

“Yeah, okay.”

They stand from beneath the tree and make their way back down the hill, and Eddie hopes his utter confusion isn’t showing on his face as they go. He has no idea how his afternoon reached this point, and he has even less of an idea of what the hell he’s doing, but, as he glances back at Steve, the other boy seems a little lighter as they walk, and he decides that he’s absolutely made the right decision.

[rubyvhs]

—✧ you’re jared padalecki’s non-actor girlfriend

liked by jaredpadalecki and others

yourusername our vacation was two days and look what i caught him doing @/jaredpadalecki

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jaredpadalecki best vacation❤️

yourusername bro you wouldn’t even know

urbsfusername hottest couple out there

yourusername that’s me & u

urbsfusername no because you’re so right👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

randomacc i can’t believe he’s still with her?? how long have they been together bro what is this

otheracc even worse they’re not even married and he doesn’t post her

anotherone it’s literally been like only two years. chill the fuck out.

liked by jaredpadalecki and others

yourusername best dinner, i love you. (and to whoever took the first pic thank u)

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friendusername wow you’re so fucking lucky oh my god jared is gorgeous

jaredpadalecki i agree, who took that pic??

yourusername i wish i knew i found it when i came home and wow

jaredpadalecki because you look gorgeous

yourusername ugh love u

urbsfusername that pic’s unholy fuckkk so pretty

— liked by yourusername

jpadacc he’s so cute with her

randomuser he literally never posts her and her entire feed is about him it’s pathetic

jpadacc jared hardly posts anything that’s not spn/walker/work related anyways, it was the same when he was dating sandy

randomuser yeah but at least sandy had dignity and didn’t keep posting about him she’s definitely using him

liked by gencortese and others

yourusername this week i got to work on the set of walker and see my incredible boyfriend put to work + i made my first youtube video, as highly requested, me and try gfs cooking. thank you for all these amazing opportunities and celebrations, i’m so grateful to have you in my life, honey — and for everyone else for enjoying my journey💗 @/jaredpadalecki @/gencortese @/urbsfusername @/friendsusername

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jpad love seeing her thrive, about to go watch the video right now!!!

urbsfusername so happy for you baby

jaredpadalecki you deserve it and so much more sweetheart, i’m endlessly proud of you

friendusername getting drunk was my fav part of this

yourusername getting high was mine

fanusername like the fucking icon she is‼️

gencortese you were amazing!

randomacc great now she’s posting him with other girls? she’s so shamless

userone he’s literally an actor for a living, and it’s a cute pic leave her alone

usertwo me personally i would not post my boyfriend and the girl he kisses on my insta

yourfriend that’s one way to admit you’re insecure in your relationships.

userseven your so pretty

— liked by yourusername

violetbrinson loved having you on set

yourusername miss u already baby girl!

liked by yourusername and others

jaredpadalecki @/yourusername took these scary photos of me for her week on set and the video. so proud of you sweetheart, you did an amazing job! don’t forget to tune in to walker on saturday.

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yourusername i love you so much

— liked by jaredpadalecki

gencortese the cutest couple!!

danneelackles can’t wait to see you when you come back 🩷

yourusername can’t wait, de!

randomacc fucking finally at least we know he isn’t embarrassed of her

jpad jared loves her so how about we stfu

userone debatable, he didn’t even respond to her comment & i can’t wait to see the episode she’s literally never acted before how is she going to be good?

jpadfan y’all are assholes fr

jensenackles can’t wait to get to set on walker, better bring her when i’m there😂

jaredpadalecki as if i would miss the chance, miss u guys so much!! — not jared

jtwofan we’re getting jensen on set with her? wow she’s really getting everything while doing nothing

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yourusername happy birthday jay, i love you and i’m so grateful to have you in my life, my biggest supporter and best friend💗

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jaypad him carrying her is so jared

violetbrinson happy birthday jared, honestly the nicest person i’ve ever met!

—liked by jaredpadalecki

jaredpadalecki love you forever🤍

yourusername 🤍🤍

gencortese happy birthday, forever the most fun person on set

—liked by yourusername

liked by jensenackles and others

jaredpadalecki birthday dinner with my girl @/yourusername

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yourusername we should go to dubai for ur birthday

jaredpadalecki i second that

danneelackles miss y’all

masterlist

idk what my obsession with birthdays is, it’s just so easy to do. so um, yeah i kinda like this, hope you enjoyed it!! + inspired by @gibson-g1rl !!

i’m probably gonna do middle eastern gf next cause it’s such a need to self insert AKA the birthday trip is my next post.

violet brinson THE FUCKING LOVE OF MY LIFEE and how the fuck is she older than me? idk i genuinely want her so bad it makes me want to write for stella (i actually might)

tags: @anu-piyakya97

[racinggirl]

furthest from truth

Lando Norris fic - requested

My inbox for requests

a/n: I'm baaack! It's been a while, I have to admit. But after having 3 new requests today, I got motivated again and I decided to write the ones that were yet to be posted on my page. I hope you like it! I've added some spice to the end of the chapter 👀 Don't forget to follow me so you won't miss my other stories! 🫶🏼

Sun. Beach. Sand. Friends.

It might look cliché, but it’s what filled your hearts with joy.

‘’Norris! Give me a hand, will ya?’’ Your lips pulled away from those of your boyfriend the moment he got up to help one of your friends with preparing the jet skis.  

‘’Finally,’’ your best friend, Ava, laughed as she took a seat next to you. ‘’Now that your lips are no longer glued to his, what do you think of grabbing a drink, I’m in a desperate need for a Frozen Daiquiri.’’

She pulled you up on your feet after you agreed on getting drinks. It was your holiday, after all, and even though it was just your first day of the 3-week holiday here in Dubai, you were planning on making it the best holiday yet.

You and Lando had been together for a little over 5 months now, the two of you bumping into each other at last year’s Christmas Market in London. You spilled your bottle of water over your shirt, and he was determined to win you a teddy bear so he could make it up to you.

After that Christmas Market, you went on a ton of dates. In London, but also in Monaco, as that was where he lived. You attended 3 races before he finally asked you to be his last summer, and obviously you said yes, otherwise this story is kind of weird, isn’t it?

Anyways, you knew who he was when you met him, having watched a few races here and there, along with your friends.

The moment you told your friends Lando had asked you out on a date, they couldn’t contain their excitement and practically forced you to go out with him. So, you did. And here we are, almost a year later.

‘’Two Frozen Strawberry Daiquiri, please.’’ Ava ordered the drinks for the two of you and once you felt the cold glass in your hand, you immediately took a sip.

‘’Urgh,’’ you groaned, your eyes closed. ‘’Best drink ever.’’ You giggled.

‘’Lando! Oh my god watch out!’’ Your grip on his life jacket was tight as he was riding the jet ski with you on the back. ‘’You idiot!’’ You laughed, hands gripping his shoulders firmly when you felt him go even faster – if that was even possible.

‘’You’re riding a jet ski with an F1 driver, love. Did you really think I was gonna go slow?’’ You groaned at his reply, and you simply held onto him like you could fall off any moment, which was probably the case.

Everything sport related was a game to him, and he was very, very competitive. He hated losing, which is why he tried his hardest to make you his, with success.

‘’Okay, okay, enough speed for me, let’s go back to the shore and have dinner, I’m starving.’’ You breathe, Lando’s hand moving over your leg slowly. He lifted his hand till it rested on your outer thigh, whilst still steering the jet ski with one hand. Slower, though, thankfully.

‘’We will, love, we will.’’ He said, but you could hear the amusement in his voice, his tone, teasingly with a smirk.

‘’Lan-…’’ You couldn’t even finish your sentence before your boyfriend pulled the right handle towards him, the two of you flying over the water. He made sure to keep an eye on you, but he knew you enjoyed this, and he wasn’t wrong.

You might tell him to stop going fast, heck, even in the bedroom you’d tell him to stop, but it was always with that flirty and teasing tone. He knew that tone, and he knew it meant you did not want him to, in fact, stop. So, he kept going.

‘’I should have thought better before signing that contract about us.’’

You were fully drenched, Lando obviously pushing the strings too hard which caused you to fall off the jet ski. Nothing harsh, it was all playful, and the two of you were laughing when it happened.

‘’You’re an idiot.’’ You smirked, rolling your eyes playfully as you squeezed the salty water out of your hair.

‘’I know, but you like it.’’ He teased, slapping your ass lightly as his hand moved its way towards your hip, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. ‘’I love you.’’

Dinner, which was absolutely insane – mostly because you were starving, but definitely because it was one of the best restaurants here in Dubai.

‘’Ehm..’’ Ava shoved you her phone, and you immediately let your eyes wander over the tweets, the Instagram posts, and the articles.

Lando saw the worried look on your face, so he cut off the conversation with his friends and pointed his attention to you, causing his friends to do the same.

‘’What’s wrong, love?’’ He asked, his thumb drawing small circles on your knee as his gaze went from you to the phone, back to you.

You showed him the articles, and a heavy sigh escaped his lips. You could see his jaw clench, the apple in his throat bobbing as he swallowed thickly. ‘’They really need to make rumours about everything, don’t they?’’ He sighed and pressed a kiss to your temple.

‘’Don’t worry, Y/N, I’ll fix it, we’ll post a statement on Insta, alright?’’ He said, his arms wrapping around you which caused you to relax.

You felt guilty, because you were aware of the eyes that were on him now that his contract with McLaren was coming to an end. You knew his contract was getting renewed, but the world didn’t, and you didn’t want to cause issues.

People blaming McLaren for not renewing his contract, and how this. People blaming McLaren for forcing Lando to be in a relationship with you, a PR relationship, which was the furthest from the truth. You loved each other so much, and McLaren had absolutely nothing to do with the two of you.

‘’Come here.’’ Lando’s arms made his way around your shoulders, his strong arms pulling you even closer to his chest. The bed was comfy, soft, but the tension in your face was apparent, especially to Lando.

‘’I just, I feel so stupid for saying that.’’ You sighed but Lando reassured you immediately.

‘’Babe, it’s not the first time we say this, it’s our joke, and people don’t get it, apparently. You know how the media is, they exaggerate everything to get those views and clicks, so they probably overheard you saying that, but did not see the look on your face, or your beautiful smile when you said that.’’ His voice was soft and calm, like he was not stressed at all about this.

‘’But the image McLa-..’’

‘’No, baby, no. That’s not your fault, okay? They should have probably announced the contract extension sooner, yeah, but that has absolutely nothing to do with whatever you said at the beach, okay?’’ He said, stern, but gentle. And you believed him. Of course you did, you believed everything he would tell you because you knew he was right.

‘’Now let’s make that post so people will stop complaining about things that are the furthest from the truth. That, and so I can take you tonight because I really, really want to.’’ He whispered the last thing with a voice so deep, you felt chills all over your body.

landonorris added to his story

landonorris & yourusername

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 1,273,710 others

I love you more than anyone imagine. Nothing can stop us, I promise you. Best decision I've ever made 🧡

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user1 I feel ashamed

user5 as you should user3 we all should. how could we think it was just a PR. they are in love in love.

user2 You are so so so cute together!

‘’Lando, fuck, stop!’’ You breathe, hands pushing against his chest as he looked into your eyes, his bright ones a few shades darker than usually. He smirked, wetted his lips before thrusting even harder… Just how you asked.

[neonovember]

Hello, uhm, so this MAY be an uncomfortable thing to request I’m not too sure. It’s totally totally okay if it is absolutely feel free to ignore this, but the way you write Carmen is so so comforting. I have this neighbor that lives downstairs from me, I’ve lived in my apartment for two years but the past 4 months with this guy has been hell. I live in the U.K. and the people that own the building and the police don’t view my situation as anything dangerous or serious, despite the fact I have made numerous complaints and even the other neighbors in my building have complained about him. But he targets me the most and bangs on my door at ungodly hours and threatens the most horrible stuff because I’m a woman living alone. I’m honestly terrified but unless he physically does something there’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry for the sob story but usually I always try and just picture Carmy as something comforting to help through this until I can be safe, would it be okay to request something like Carmen finding out about his gf losing sleep and constantly being terrified and deciding to take matters into his own hands, and demanding she moves in with him and helps pack her stuff because he will NOT stand for that shit (again totally 100% okay if you don’t feel comfortable responding)

oh my god anon, I'm so deeply sorry that you have to deal with such a shitty situation, and the fact that you have to wait to be physically attacked before the police can do anything? Fuck the justice system and fuck law enforcement. Don't every feel scared to send a request to make your day or week or fucking month better, it's why I'm here, and the fact that my writing can make you feel even a little better is the greatest gift i could ever ask for. God I just hope you're able to remain safe, call a friend or family to keep them posted in case anything happens, I'm so very sorry honey :(

Broken bones and soup

carmen berzatto x reader

warnings: misogyny, violence, feral!carmen makes an appearence, angst, horrible neighbours, angst, teeth rotting fluff, carmy feeding you

w/c: 5.3k

a/n: this was hard to write, i really wanted to do it right by you anon, and when have i ever written carmen without him breaking someones face?

The falling sun encapsulated the cerulean sky, exploding against the horizon in heated shades of orange, crimson and pink. The trail back to your apartment complex wasn’t long, but it gave enough time to bask in the warmth of evenings bathed in sunlight. It also conveniently enabled you to tell yourself you had gotten your sun for the day, rather than having to swallow pills you hated to swallow.

It was muscle memory however, your legs moved with the familiar comfort of the sidewalk, forgetting the stomach turning realisation of what had awaited you back at your apartment. 

It had been a couple months, four maybe 5, you didn’t really want to count the days having a violent neighbour moved in directly down your apartment. The other tenants who you've grown to know collectively bristled with the annoyance of a 30 something year old filling the usual peaceful nights with crashes and yells of broken plates and incoherent obscenities. 

When you had raised the issue to the landlord and even to the police, you had been shut down with a shrug of the shoulders. 

‘We can notice him with a noise complaint, but if he aint hurting anyone we can’t do much’. 

That had made you laugh a little then, before you had been close to bawling your eyes out and ripping out your hair. Sure he was loud, your neighbours from the other side of the apartment complex could attest to that, but it was so much more than loud fucking music, and somehow, you had bared the brunt of his violence. It was targeted, you knew it, and your legs began to shuffle at the thought of coming home to another violent outbursts at your door. 

You hadn't gotten any proper sleep for the past 4 months, waking up to loud banging at your door, and declarations of brutality he whispered through your keyhole. It was all empty threats, those men in clad uniform had told you when you woke up shaking with fear as he screamed taunts of murder from below, you had run out in your pyjamas and bunny slippers and they had told you they couldn't help you. 

There were not empty threats, and this wasn’t the hundreds of true crime shows you had binged, you felt it in your bones, you were a woman living with yourself for god sake, he was going to break down your door one day and hurt you, and you couldn't do anything about it. You felt paralysed by the helplessness of it, forcing yourself to stay up past 12, the burn of your tired eyes forced open by the blue light of your phone, in case he tried breaking in. You had begun to keep a bat near your bed, a knife in the drawer of your bedside, and you felt fucking insane. Noone had made a major problem out of it, and yet you felt like he was one bad day from a murderous rampage.

Carmen could tell something had been wearing on your shoulders, the way your eyes blinked slowly, and the syrup slow movements of your limbs when you had visited the Beef not long ago. You couldn't bear to tell him, your past relationships had taught you enough not to unload all your problems onto another person, but it had gotten bad. You had started getting notices of concern from your boss, asking if you were alright, telling you how your performance had been declining.

You had quickly shut down any looks of concern thrown at you, this was something you had to deal with yourself, you didn’t want anyone, especially another woman to be faced with the brunt of his violence. You guzzled caffeine and energy drinks like it was water, and your limbs jittered with the rush of adrenaline until the peak had dropped and you felt like your stomach was ripping itself apart.

You braced yourself as you turned the corner into your apartment complex, keeping your head down, and going through the carpack to avoid the hallway that was right next to his door. You felt your stomach drop, your keys pressed between your knuckles and you flickered your eyes up to the door of his apartment. You watched it like a hawk, ready to flee at any sign of opening, and when you had finally made it to the elevator, you breathed a sigh of relief like no other. The air suddenly fills your lungs once again.

Your phone buzzed in your jean pocket, and you reached out to grab it, the screen illuminated by Carmen’s text. You felt a tingle of glee shoot through you, biting back a smile at the thought of seeing him today.

“You still coming today for the family dinner?”

The beef had begun a sort of tradition, every last Friday of the month, they would close early and hold a sort of family dinner right out back near the tables and chairs. Everyone of the crew’s family and friends were invited to join, some bringing a plate or a drink or two. It was the highlight of the month, and you hadn't missed a Friday ever since Carmen and you had become something more than close friends.

You typed out a quick reply with a tongue in your cheek, as the elevator doors opened, you didn't look up right away, walking with your head down as you tucked your phone back into your pocket. It was a fault on your end, you should have looked up, at least then you could have braced yourself as your neighbour stood stationed near your door with a cheshire smile stretching ominously across his face. 

You wondered if you could run back into the elevator, but the doors had closed well before and you feared turning your back to him was an even worse fate. You walked towards him, plastering on a smile that didn't look even a little believable.

“Something I can do for you?” You ask, your voice heightened by a mix of fear and false confidence

“Hear you've been complaining about me” The man replies with a smile, his hair slicked back, the shadow of a badly shaven skin spiking up. His shirt reeks of sweat and stains of spilt takeaway and you have to take a tentative step back to escape the stench radiating off of him.

“Yeah, you might not realise it, but you have been a bit- uh loud, and the loud banging on my walls?” You prouch him, and his eyebrows rise in surprise, shaking his head with a laugh that horrified you.

“Am I scaring you?” The man replies 

You swallow as your eyes flicker to his burnt hazel ones, they stare down from above, almost mocking in the way they forced you to answer.

“Uh, uhm- well, a lot of us got work in the morning, and I can’t wake up if you're making a lot of noise during the night”

“Oh, is that right?” The man asks, scratching a hand across his jaw

“Well no one's been the one complaining but you” The man replies

“I don't think so many of us-”

“You saying I’m a liar??” The man suddenly shouts, and you can help yourself stepping back a distance quickly

The man watches the way you distance yourself away from him, his eyes flicker to the keys poking out from between your fingers and he bites back a laugh.

“So you are scared of me, liar.” The man spits out with venom, before stepping towards you, caging you to the wall as he whispers near your ear

“You think fucking keys are going to stop me? A little lady like you living here all by yourself?” The man digs his fingers into your sides, until you howl out and retch yourself away from him, you reach for your right side, holding the skin above your rib cage that had begun to swell and bruise.

“See how easy that was? A fucking pretzel in my hand” The man calls out with a smile, before walking back around the hallway corner with such ease and comfort that told you he knew the police wouldnt do shit.

Your hand shakes as you shove your key into your door, you have to hold your own hand to put it in, before shouldering your way through your door with wince, and dropping your bag and belongings to the floor.

You rush into your bathroom, undressing before your eyes flicker to your mirror, seeing the red rash of irritation and the start of a purple imprint of his claws shoved into the skin below your ribcage. You wince as you try to soothe it, the salty tears breaking down your waterline, you can't stop, the wretched sobs of your helplessness echoing off the bathroom walls.

You climb into the shower, sliding down to the bottom as the tears shake through you, you hug your knees to your chest, letting the warm water combine with your salty tears, so they become one, and you know longer now how terrified you are. You stay in the shower like this for a bit, letting the warmth and steam wiggle your body from its stone encapsulation.

You can hear the familiar jingle of your phone ringing from where you had haphazardly left it, and the memory of today's dinner comes rushing in. You had nearly forgotten, and whilst you were terrified to leave your home and go back into the hallway where it had happened, you couldn't let Carmen down.

So you had gotten up, in the same way you had fallen down, and tried to scrub away the smell of his day-old cigarettes and sweat until your skin burned, poking your head through a clean shirt and a skirt that hid the painful purple splotch that had begun to spread across your side.

Entering your quaint kitchen, you can’t stop your arm as it reaches for the brown liquid stored in that old glass bottle Sugar had told you was a century old. You didn't have a little liquid courage to make it past your goddamn threshold.

You downed it in a gulp, reaching for your bag and a pocket knife, just in case. The reality of that decision broke you a little, when did you start needing to armour yourself?

Your phone buzzed from its position edged between the living room couch, it was Carmen, again, telling you he was outside. Carmen had begun to ceremoniously show up to your apartment as the autumn had begun to bleed into the winter nights, and the sunlight had stretched until darkness hit by 5 in the afternoon. Any other time you would have chastised him till the point where he would stop, but now, with the reality of your neighbour, you felt a relief wash through your body at the thought of being close to him. You also don’t doubt he would have shown up anyway, ignoring your requests in the way he does when he thinks it's his responsibility.

You wouldnt say you had a lot of experience in relationships under your belt, but something spoke to you from within, carmen was something special, this was special, sacred in the way destiny was, and you shooke with the relentless fear of fucking it up. And scaring him away with your problems seemed to be on the very top of that list

You shake the thought from your head as you shut the door quietly, take a brisk pace as you walk but kind of run to the elevator. A neighbour you knew well stood near the doors, his dark auburn hair falling in front of his eyes, he nodded to you with a silent smile. He kept to himself most of the time, and you didn't know much about him, just that he always was tugging a sleeve down his left arm, but he always went out of his way to give you some sort of greeting.

The air between you was silent, as you were waiting for the ping of the elevator to drop to your door, and you heard a shuffling near you, your eyes watching the way he coughed and stared at you from the corner of your peripheral vision.

“Heard something out in the hallway, it wasn’t him again was it?” The man replied, concerned about lacing his features as his eyes seemed to be fixated on the way you leaned on one side of your body a little.

“Uh no, it’s- it’s alright, I guess it was my dues you know? Dealing with a shitty neighbour at least once” You reply with a tight smile, trying to poke fun at the very depressing thought.

The man nodded with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, your neighbours had known that he was loud, knew that you had dealt the worst of it being right above him, but they were clueless to his taunts and threats that he said into your door at night. You think the man next to you had an idea though, the way his eyes scanned anything like he was always assessing, always calculating the world around him. 

It was also because your neighbour was nowhere to be found whenever he was around, you whispered a prayer of thanks that he was taking the elevator down with you, with his sweatpants and top, it was like he knew, a silent nod of protection.

Before you could open your mouth to whisper a thanks, the doors of the elevator had opened, a tired mom and her two energetic kids passed between you both. It was funny, you could see yourself in her, the drag of dark circles and the hunch of her shoulders mirroring your own. 

You knew the very shakily painted on makeup did little to hide the exhaustion on your face and you rushed to enter the elevator to escape the thought. The motion of the elevator moving down nauseated you a little, churning your stomach in the way it always did with motion, but your apartment wasn’t big and soon enough the music of the elevator turned to a halt as the doors opened up to the ground floor.

You could see the headlights of Carmen's car through the automatic doors of your complex, and you gave your neighbour a smile before rushing to jump into the comfort of Carmen and his very, very warm car.

-- -

The car ride to the beef has been silent, just the syrupy beat of jazz from the car speakers and the burn of Carmen’s gaze searing a hole through you, you feared if you caught his eyes and the look in them the entire interaction today would tumble from your tongue.

You couldn’t ruin today, it was tradition, you had just begun to become folded into it. The joy of Tina calling your name for a hug, the talks about the new pastry ideas with Marcus, Sydney’s laughter, it soothes you like a balm, and you were sure the nausea crawling through your stomach would dissipate the second you entered.

But it didn’t, the beautiful lantern lights from outside the Beef glittered against the Chicago moonlight and the smell of Italian meatballs engulfed your senses and you still felt like you were being ripped apart from the inside.

You had said your hellos to everyone, biting back a yelp as Tina’s hand pressed against the bruise on your side, and nodding to Richie’s rambles whilst you felt outside of your own skin.

Your mind kept replaying the scene of him lunging st you, bristling your skin till goosebumps spread through, until your mind was exhausted from fear and well, fucking exhaustion and Carmen had to call your name too many times to rip you from your thoughts.

“Hey, you alright?” Carmen asks with that soft honey tone he keeps for you.

You nod with a smile, and Carmen’s eyes shift towards your plate untouched. It was your favourite, a twist on Osso Buco and yet it laid un moving, Carmen knew it, you did too, and you held back tears as Carmen simply nodded, not sure if he was overstepping his boundaries.

It was the first lick of the start of something, the both of you, the bloom of a companionship Carmen felt was destined, like it was seared into the sand years before you both had even come into existence. And Carmen was new to this, and that opened up a whole can of worms, he didn’t want to fuck it up, he didn’t want to think about fucking it up, but god did he always seem to fuck it up.

You reached across the table to grab the jar of water, your shirt riding up without you noticing. Tina’s eyes widen at the peek of a purple imprint from under your shirt and she has nearly drops her fucking fork

“Baby? What happened to your side?” Tina replies with concern, her voice is quiet but the tables loud boisterous conversations begin to slow down.

You tug your shirt down, and you burn with guilt like you had been caught with this big secret. Carmen immediately looks towards your side, his eyes scanning the way you since a little as your finger brushes against it.

“Nothing, uh um I fell” You don't even believe yourself

“That looks more than something you get tripping over your feet darling, did something happen?”

“What? What’s she saying honey? What did you see Tina?” Tina’s gaze flutters to Carmen, and there’s a pause like she’s assessing whether it was Carmen’s doing before the reality of who he is hits her. It was ingrained in every woman, and Carmen wouldn’t be an exception. Even for a second.

“Looks like someone’s goddam fist imprinted into her skin” 

The restaurant is completely quiet now, and your head falls to your uneaten plate of veal, they look towards you in concern hearing the end of Tina’s words.

Carmen lifts your shirt, and you don’t stop him, the reality of your attack is shown right there in front of him, the imprint of a large hand bruising purple and blue.

Carmen’s eyes burn into the skin, his fists shaking as he remains silent, the rest of the family look on in horror, whispers of “holy fuck?” and eyes seeing the way Carmen practically vibrates, like he’s a second away from exploding.

“..Who did this?”

“It was my fault- I”

“Who did this baby? Who hurt you?” Carmen replies with an exhaled murmur.

“I’m, uh, Uhm- he- oh Carmen” You can’t get the words out, they’re stuck in your throat and you can’t get them out. You feel trapped, your body is sweating like you’re caged, like you're wading through a current and you're losing yourself to the weight of it, your breakdown on display for the whole world to see.

You blink back tears as Carmen tilts your chin to face him, and the look on his face, the look of distraught and fear that blossoms across his features un tetheres the tightly wrapped self control you had formed.

And Carmen scoops you up into his arms so that the entire family doesn’t have to see you break into his shoulder.

His soothing words are like a balm to your distress and he walks you, bridal style to the first aid cabinet, sitting you down on the counter, wiping away your tears as his fingers shake and his throat bobs with a tight swallow. He hastily tugs your shirt, kissing back the howls of pain as he whispers “I know, I know baby girl, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry.”

His soft fingers press gently against the bruise as he rubs a heating ointment across it, he wraps a warm compress around it as bandage and his eyes are avoiding your own as he focuses his fingers on your skin.

“Carmen?” You whisper, the hiccups of tears resounding from your throat, Carmen reaches for a painkiller, placing it in your palm with a whisper of affirmation, he gently tips your head back as he pours water into your mouth, and you swallow it quickly, before looking back at him.

“Carmen? Please” You reply, had you done it, had you ruined everything?

“I can’t look at you because I fear I might break, and- and I can’t right now okay darling? I have to find, I have to find who did this, and I need to make it right, hm? I need to make sure your safe because god my heart is outside of my chest and I can’t feel anything but fear” Carmen replies with a tight low voice, his fists shake as he pressed them into the counter beside your thighs, but he looks up to meet your gaze anyway, and he smiles tightly as the tears stream down.

“Oh Carmen, this isn't on you, you couldn't have possibly known” You reply, wiping a hand across his cheeks.

“How can you say that? I am your, I am meant to protect you, and you, you come limping in without me noticing, fucking Tina saw it before I could, and i hate myself for it” Carmen replies, his cerulean blues shining bright against the shine of tears.

“Who did this, someone at work? A guy on the street?” Carmen replies and you flick away from his gaze, hand falling to your lap as your tongue burns with the desire to just say it all.

“You've got to tell me baby girl, you have to know I've got to make it right, I won’t sleep till I do. '' Carmen replies with a pained cry, like his heart is breaking from the thought of letting this go un avenged. And it's the tortured look on his face, it's the shake of his limbs like he wants to destroy and burn the entire world around him till he finds whoever has done this that uncurls your tongue and lets everything out in the open.

“What? This has been going on for months? Why didn’t you tell me?” Carmen replies, his thumb rubbing soft circles across your thigh.

“Didn’t want to scare you away Carmen, i love-i I like you a lot, more than I have anyone and I didn't want to fuck it up and unload all my problems onto you like a dumpster” You reply, and it sounds stupid when you say it out loud, and when Carmen looks up at you in disbelieved confusion.

“Huh? Oh sweet girl, I’m meant to help you bear it all, that’s why I'm here, and the idea of you thinking I'll love you any less, that I won't help you because of something like this haunts me. I’m meant to protect you yeah? That’s my fucking job, and I’ve failed it” Carmen replies with a grunt.

“No one has said anything like that to me” You say, eyes looking up to him, you weren't shocked, but you weren't, were not shocked, never had you experienced this, this burning adoration for another person, this soft warmth that burst through you at the sound of Carmen's voice promising his devotion, promising his unyielding protection. It armoured you more than a pocket knife ever could.

Carmen presses a soft kiss to your head, before shuffling around the kitchen, walking back into the dining tables, hushing out replies of ‘she's okay’ before coming back in with your things under his arm.

“What are you doing?” You reply in question, as he slowly picks you up with an arm, and gently places you back down. His eyes are constantly flickering to your side, like he’s torturing himself with the image of the first time he saw the horrific bruise across your side.

He had never felt true fear until then, the shatter of his heart beneath his breast as he realises you had gotten hurt and he didn't even fucking realise. Nothing had mattered but your safety and he scared himself with how much his body shook with a desire to destroy the person responsible.

“I’m driving back to your apartment, where you're going to grab your necessities, whilst I pay a visit to your little neighbour downstairs. You’re staying with me, for however long,” Carmen replies with a sneer, walking you through the back door, which you were all too thankful for, you couldn't bear to see the look on the crew’s faces if you had to walk back in.

“Carmen you can’t” You reply rushed, as Carmen slid you into the passenger seat, before clicking on your seat belt for you. He cocks his head, before raising his eyebrows

“Oh, I can’t? Honey, the police don’t do their job and my baby get’s fucking hurt. Nah, that doesn't work for me” Carmen replies, before rushing to enter the driver's seat, shifting the gear into drive before speeding down the city streets. 

His focused on the road, his face unblinking and he grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white, you can’t stop looking at him, his gorgeous under the moonlight of the skies, his cheeks crimson from his tears, his cerulean blues calling to you like the sea, and the curl of his blonde hair falling like waves.

The view of your apartment complex comes into your vision as Carmen turns into the carpark in one swift move, you can’t stop the shake of your fingers and Carmen wants to slam his first into the steering wheel when he notices.

“You alright?” Carmen replies “You can stay here, I’ll grab whatever you need”

You want to stay, want to remain in the safety of his sleek tinted windows, but you want to face it too, and somehow that need is more important, he doesn’t get to win, no fucking way.

You unclip your seat belt, opening the door as you turn to him “You going to show me how you protect me or what?”

Carmen bites back a smile, god he was so fucking proud. He could tell you were scared shit less, and yet you fought through that fear, and god you mesmerised him. You were stronger than he could ever be, and he wanted to take that burden from you, carry it himself so you didn't have to.

Carmen jogs to the back of the car, reaching into the boot before the clunk of wood on gravel meets your ears. Carmen nods towards you, as he grips a bat under his arm

“He puts a bruise on you and i break all his fucking bones” Carmen replies, and you can’t stop the joy that image brings you

Carmen walks you to your apartment, waiting outside like a hawk, his bat tight against his grip as he watches the hallways, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, you feel infinitly and utterly safe.

You throw your toiletries into a bag, grabbing a few nights of clothes and your work shoes. You eyes flicker around your apartment, it had been home to you for the past 4 years, and yet it felt so foreign to you now, you had grown to attest this place, this place you had filled with so much of yourself, and you hate him so much at that moment, for making you feel this way about a place you had once loved.

You leave your apartment with the door shut closed.

Carmen carries your bag and places them back into the back seat of the car, and as he begins to walk towards the apartment of your neighbour you reach a hand out to stop him.

“Honey, I’ve got to-” Carmen begins before you shut him quickly

“I want to watch” You reply quietly, and Carmen’s eyes flicker, before lacing his fingers into yours, as you both knock on his door.

There's a grumble before the clank of a chain slides open, and his face appears as the door opens to him, you can see the illuminated light of his TV glaring, the floor covered with pizza boxes and beer cans. You see in real time, how his face morphs from anger into fear, his eyes dropping as he sees the way Carmen practically shakes, and the man isn’t able to let out a word, a protest or wail of a plea before the crack of Carmen's wooden bat swings through the air.

-- -

“Are you sure he isn't dead?” You reply, as you dip a washcloth into warm water, wiping away the blood across Carmen’s neck

“He isn’t going to die if I wasn’t the one causing it, besides, if he does, that’s God finishing off the rest of it”. Carmen replies, raising his face so that you cleaned the last of the streaks of blood splattered across his jaw.

Carmen reaches for your hands, pressing a kiss to the top of them as he looks at you in that way like he yearns for you to be closer. 

“You need sleep, but first you need to eat, yeah?” Carmen replies, shushing your protests and he carries you to his room in his arms, after he notices the exhaustion in your limbs. It’s dark, illuminated only by the wall to ceiling windows that look into the busy city streets and light up sky scrapers. 

The sheets are strewn across the bed, haphazard like Carmen had rushed to get them off of him in the early mornings. Carmen slides you into them, tucking you within the soft pillowy blanket, sitting on the edge as he caresses your cheek softly.

He leaves for a moment, rushing to make you something to eat, his skin crawling with a need to feel you against him, nearly tripping over himself as he walks back into his room with a bowl of soup and a bottle of water.

Carmen sits next to you again, pressing spoonfuls of soup into your mouth and wiping the edges ceremoniously as you rest against the headboard half asleep. 

You don’t notice the way he looks at you, like he's trying to memorise every dip and curve of your face, his fingers clutching the spoon tight like he’s going to break if he doesn't hold you against him.

“Honey?” Carmen replies hushed

“Hmh?” You reply, your eyes heavy as the comfort of Carmen's warmth spreads through you.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again, you tell me everything okay? Everything” Carmen replies pained, like the events that transpired somehow still were not resolved, like breaking the man's legs wasn't enough for him.

“Okay” You reply, and Carmen places the dishes onto the bedside table, leaving it to the morning because he can't keep you away from him any longer.

Carmen joins you in the bed, the left side of his bed finally taken by somebody for the first time in a long time. Tugging you against him, Carmen curls your body to lay against his chest, his fingers softly gracing your back, soft circles that had begun to lull you to a sleep you hadn’t felt in months, years even.

The beat of Carmen's heart joins with yours, together and entwined like how it was always meant to be, why had Carmen waited so long? Why had he let time pass without you tucked under him, safe within his arms and away from all the horrors of the world.

It’s only when Carmen notices the shift in your breathing, falling into a soft exhale before he even lets the whispers of sleep grip him within its grasps, his shoulders finally release from its tensed state once he knows you've finally fallen into a sleep that had been kept from you.

“You don’t know how much I love you baby girl, it fucking scares me, but I’ll keep reminding you until infinity if I have to, until you know it deep down like I do” Carmen mumbles out, his eyes falling heavy and you grips you against his chest.

You don’t really know how, but even between the state of sleep and consciousness, you hear him, and you whisper between the space in your bodies, that you already do.

[milkywaydrabbles]

AHHHH!! all your rindou drabbles for kinktober are amazinggg , but that hanma shuji was the best one so far 😩!! can i request a #8,#17, and #37 with my man shuji 🙏🙏!

A/N: I'm posting this from the spirit realm please do not perceive me and the monster of a 4k fic I made for him I didn't mean to ;A; I like him a normal amount I promise. Anyways here's the fic I hope you like mwuahh. I also did the alternate universe of Hanma I'm sure that's not what you were exactly expecting but I wanted to keep it out of the realm of gangs just this once! I still tried to keep him a little mean hehe

Virginity/Orgasm denial/overstimulation x Hanma Shuji

You met Hanma when you went to the same school years ago, and being the shit head that he was, always picked on you for fun. It was never malicious the way it was when he was actively picking fights with other boys in gangs, but it was so fucking annoying you couldn’t help but cry with how frustrated you felt. He’d poke fun at you more, looming over you with how tall he was and just tease you until you stormed off. You remember that well, and definitely not fondly. Eventually you saw him less and less at school, and then he stopped coming altogether. The wave of relief that you felt when you were able to just go about your days in peace and quiet was immeasurable. Over time, and over the years, you thought of him less and less and forget him all the same, graduating high school, going to college, finding a job--Hanma was no longer a presence in your life.

Not until adulthood.

You were on your way home, feet dragging with how exhausted you had been feeling at the end of the week--work was hell, but you were grateful for the next two days off. You just needed to make it home in one piece. Of course that was asking for too much, because when you turned the corner your phone went flying out of your hand when you crashed into a brick of a body in front of you with a gasp. “Oh, shit” You hissed, scrambling to grab your phone with a flurry of apologies spewing out of your mouth. The body didn’t seem to acknowledge you, or so you thought, until you heard your name come out of a foreign mouth in a whisper. You paused, actually terrified now to look at who you bumped into, but looked up anyways--to someone you couldn’t recognize. 

“Shit, it is you.” He breathed out with a laugh, smile appearing on his face. You frowned, brows burrowing up in confusion. “I’m sorry, do I know you?” You tried not to be defensive, you really did, but life had turned sour on you at a young age and you didn’t trust any men these days anyways. So you crossed your arms and stood your ground, looking like you were ready to fight at any given moment. The man couldn’t help but cackle, it was like life had slapped him in the face--you weren’t the shy skittish little girl he remembered anymore. You had grown up, fended for yourself, obviously not afraid to get into arguments with men you supposedly didn’t know. He feigned hurt after his laugh, pressing a hand to his chest and jutted his lips in a pout. “Come on, you really don’t remember me? You threw your backpack on me real hard in middle school you know. I think I still have a scar from your book.” Ready to turn away with a middle finger you barely acknowledged what he said, “No I don’t remember....you...” He could practically see the gears in your head turning. “Oh...oh my god--Hanma?” He flashed you a dazzling smile, “In the flesh.”

“Oh fuck off.” You tried storming away, there was no way you had just ran into your middle school bully and he thinks he can just smile at you like you had been besties. You weren’t going to even think about it for the rest of the night, you just needed to get home. Hell maybe he changed, but you weren’t gonna sit there and find out. Not willingly at least, because it turns out he wasn’t ready to end the conversation. “Woah, hey! Come on let’s just talk real quick doll face--” “Excuse me?” The shrill in your voice blatantly told him you were not having it. “Sorry. I’m sorry. Can we talk?” You stopped to look at him--really look at him and holy shit did he grow up. His hair was long to his shoulders, blonde money pieces nicely framing his face--one that was no longer grinning like a snarky piece of shit that you remembered, but soft--eyes almost pleading with you to just give him a chance for the night. And fucking tall--standing taller than six foot you craned your head to look up. You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose before answering. “Come on, there’s a bar along the way.”

-

“You’re....so different.” you commented.

He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. You learned he left the gang life behind years ago, and that he was a freelance photographer. You also learned that he made lots of friends from his old gang life that actually stuck, and that one of them recently got married. He told you about his travels, about the time he was in juvie (more than once), about what he did after he left school.

And he told you about how he never quite stopped thinking about you. 

That made you pause your commentary at each remark, unable to take a breath in after the admission. Then you scowled. “You were an asshole Hanma. You know that? You were so fucking mean to me. And you’re saying you thought about me all these years? Ha, thought about what, how funny it was to torment me?” You let your anger flow freely with the help of the beer that was now warmed on the table top. He let you vent, getting out all your frustrations that you were never able to when you were a kid--to scared to know what he would do in retaliation. You thought this was better than therapy (and cheaper too.) When you finished your monologue of how much of a dick he was, you threw back the rest of the beer (gross) and looked at the sticky table. He made no moves to get up, which you were surprised over, instead you peeked up at him through your lashes and saw a man that looked as if he’d been slapped across the face. “I’m...wow. Yeah. I was the worst, wasn’t I?” A humorless laugh left his lips. “I didn’t...and listen, this isn’t an excuse, really it’s not, but I didn’t know how to act. You were the cutest girl in school and I just...I was a prick. Life was shitty growing up, and everyone always said ‘if you like a girl pick on her’. I guess it was too much, huh..” Another laugh. “I’m sorry, I really am. I thought I’d never see you again and now you’re here and I don’t--fuck, I’m sorry pretty girl.” Hanma hung his head in shame, playing with the emptied beer bottle in front of him riddled with anxiety. 

There was too much to unpack in one night. You couldn’t believe half of the things he had even said to you tonight. So you decided to sit with it for a while. You excused yourself quietly, after (attempting and failing) to pay for your drink. “I...I have to go, Hanma.” He sighed, understanding enough anyways--it was a long shot for you to ever forgive  him. But then your phone appeared in his line of sight, opened up to a new contact page with his name already up. His eyes shot up at you, hopeful, and took your phone without a pause to write in his number, he might have also changed his name just a bit, adding a heart at the end of ‘Hanma’ , so dry. You rolled your eyes at that, mumbling ‘don’t push your luck’, but kept it anyways. 

-

For the next few weeks (months?) Hanma had integrated himself heavily into your life. You texted him every day, called just as much, and even met up with him for food or drinks a handful of times as your schedules permit. It was odd, having this bond form with someone you used to despise. But it’s not healthy to hold onto grudges like that. Especially from such a young age, and you knew he was really sorry, especially since he admitted to you night one that he had a crazy crush on you. So you let it go over time, and started seeing Hanma shine with his annoying personality again. And once he came out of his shell, really, he acted almost the same. Snarky, making faces, overly cocky like he couldn’t be beat. But he was softer now, and you found it endearing, especially when he’d come to your rescue. You’d be waiting for him to show up at your usual bar spot and be cornered by a man who was too drunk to look at you properly but was still in your face. “Come on, pretty. What’s your name huh?” You scoffed, leaning away from him as you grabbed your drink and covered the top. “Fuck off, dude. Not here for you.” You’d hear the drunkard grumble something about you being a bitch and before you were able to turn to look at him again and tell him off, you saw a tattooed hand grip his shoulder. “What was that?” Hanma leaned down to get in his face, toothpick in between his teeth as he waited. 

“Fucking--nothing, dude, get off me.” Before you knew it the drunk was knocked on his ass on the floor and Hanma was shrugging it off, telling the bartender “He’s too drunk to be here, can we get him out?” with a shrug and a smirk when he was dragged off by security (as if Hanma wasn’t the one to shove him). You breathed out a giggle and smiled, thanking him for the save--and silently calming yourself down. He looked...good, turning back into his intimidating self when it wasn’t directed towards you. You wouldn’t mind seeing him like this more often, especially to your defense. You shake off the feeling and continue on with your conversation as you always do, though you’re distracted with the way he pushes his hand back, and how his veins in his hands look, and how--

“Hey, you good?” 

You blink, startled and looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Unfortunately for you, Hanma has been getting too comfortable around you now. “What, see something you like?” He cooed, dipping his head lower to meet your eyes, voice now to a whisper. You fidget away, drink long forgotten as you try to remember how to breathe again, furrowing your brows. "I don't think I want to be here anymore." It was his turn to frown. "Hey no I'm sorry, I was joking—" "I'm hungry. Do you...wanna just grab takeout and go to my place?" Silently he nodded, dumbfounded that you had invited him over. It felt like an unspoken rule–he wouldn't ask if he could go over, knowing the answer would be 'no.' You weren't ready for him to invade your space like that. But after all this time, after close to six months of non stop talking and relearning each other it felt like the most natural thing in the world for you to ask. Even if you were a little nervous about it. And so you (he) paid your tab and left.

–

The two of you sat comfortably on the floor of your living room, eating from shared plates and having mindless movies on in the background as conversation continued. "Thanks for letting me over, doll–not gonna lie I was getting tired of always going out to a bar." He teased, laughing when he felt you shove him a little with your shoulder. "Be grateful, Hanma." You rebutted with a smile. 

"Shuji."

....

"What?"

"Come on, we’ve been talking for months now. You can’t just call me Shuji? Not just once?” 

You placed your chopsticks down, that fuzzy feeling coming back into your stomach the same as when you stared at him earlier. Could you call him Shuji? Did you think you were close enough to do that? He was so different than the Hanma you knew all those years ago, but somehow the same–still poking fun but now it felt good, the teasing and the taunting was reciprocated–maybe even building up to something else, that you had refused to unlock. “Come on pretty girl,” the name made your head spin and your face get hot, and him leaning in closer to you didn’t help. Hanma brushed your cheek, thumbing at your skin when he cupped your face, “just once. Just call me Shuji, please.” Your breathing hitched, eyes dropping down to look at his lips, and when you looked back up at him you noticed he’d done the same thing. “...You’re being so stupid, Shuji.” Your voice was barely heard above the sound of the TV. He chuckled, lips brushing against yours, “yeah well, you know what they say–love makes you stupid.” You closed the gap that barely existed to begin with, hands latching on to the front of his shirt as Hanma invaded your senses. 

The kiss was dizzying, overwhelming, too much– everything and everywhere all at once. But you couldn’t find it in you to care, not when Hanma had been such a constant in your life recently, not when he admitted to loving you. You could practically feel the cockiness come flooding back, Hanma smiling into the kiss and nipping at your lower lip, easily slipping his tongue in after you granted him access. He’d taken over quickly, hand on your cheek pressing the back of your head deeper into him and the other trailing around your waist to pull you close. He had you straddling him, and you still were trying to keep up with the kiss. “Sh-Shuji, wait, h-hold on.” You broke free enough to speak if only for a moment, but he continued with the kisses down your jaw, and neck, and nipping at the juncture of your shoulder. “What’s wrong, pretty girl?” Fuck, his voice dipped low–the gravely sound was shooting straight down to between your legs. It was hard to breathe, he wasn’t letting up enough for you to tell him, but you needed to, you needed to–

“I’m a virgin.”

Hanma immediately stopped his ministrations, the sound of the TV turning more into white noise than whatever was going on. When he didn’t speak, you felt the need to explain. “I just, I don’t know–don’t fucking laugh, I don’t know what’s going on in your head.” You huffed, embarrassed. “I just...was never interested in hookups. And everyone fucking sucked, so I never...”You trailed off, looking away when Hanma tried to meet your eyes. He cupped your face so sweetly, small smile on his lips as he did so. “Look at me, baby.” His fucking petnames were going to kill you. But you listened anyways. “We can stop, or we can just make out–doesn’t matter to me as long as I have my hands on you.” He snickered and you wanted to smack him. You thought about it too, but you don’t think you’d find anyone better than Hanma.

You loved him, too.

“I don’t want to stop, Shuji.”

He didn’t need anything else after that.

–

“Aah, fuck, Shuji y-you’re being mean again.” You whimpered, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Hanma had your legs open around his waist, working his fingers deep into your virgin hole. It’s already been twenty minutes of him slowly working you open, curling two of his fingers in your cunt and pushing up against that squishy part of your walls that had you climbing up to your orgasm–only for it to never come. Hanma kept fucking stopping. He’d feel how your walls started to clench and twitch around his long fingers, and the absolute bastard would only snicker and pull them out, slapping them lightly against your clit. “Aw, sorry baby–Just can’t get enough of how you look.” He teased, devil horns practically growing on his skull. This was the Hanma you remembered from middle school, and it seems his sadistic torture moved from taunting you at school to taunting you in your own bed. But you don’t think you cared too much, not now. Not when you saw the love in his eyes. Slowly, Hanma pushed in a third finger, a hand coming down to push you into the mattress and keeping you still. “Gotta prep you, doll–don’t want it to hurt, right?” And you don’t think it would, you had toys, it wasn’t unknown territory, but you kept your mouth shut anyways when he looked at you like that, eyes devouring you. His pace quickened, pumping his thick fingers in and out, in and out, until he saw your nose scrunch up and your mouth open–whining and crying out as you climbed closer and closer and closer to your impending orgasm. You could feel it, and you spread your legs just a bit more to give him more space, eyes rolling to the back of your head–

And then he pulled out.

“Shuji!” You were so frustrated, tears flowing freely now with how angry you were feeling. You were ready to start telling him off, until he grabbed your jaw and loomed over you with such authority it made your skin crawl. “If you don’t stop me now, baby doll, I’ll never be able to keep my hands off you again.” His aggressive tendencies never really went away it seemed, even after leaving the gang life behind you had such a grip on him it made him crazy. “Tell me no, and we’ll stop.” He waited a beat, squeezing a bit more at your jaw expectantly. You simply stared at him, stars in your eyes as you looked up at the man. 

“Keep going.” 

Throwing caution to the wind, Hanma kept the hand tightly on your jaw as his messy fingers slipped back into your weeping cunt, finger fucking into you harder and faster than before, all three curling up back into that gummy part and not letting up this time. Your mouth hung open with the pressure he kept on you, moans flowing freely out–you babbled, repeating his name until it all just jumbled together in messy cries. You tried to keep your eyes open but the pressure building up so fast was dizzying. Your eyes rolled back, bordering screaming as he fucked into you. He said nothing, just kept staring at your face of pleasure as you finally descended into your orgasm, crashing over you in waves and not stopping. Your juicy pussy was splashing him, fingers slipping over to rub over your clit just as quickly. Your orgasm hit you like a fucking train, lower body spasming as he kept you at that high. “Too much, too much Shu–too much!” your legs were aching to close, and he let up just enough to let you get away, smacking your pussy twice before. 

Hanma leaned down kissing your throat after letting go of your jaw, whispering against you “First it was not enough, now it’s too much.” He taunted, nipping at your skin before kissing up to your lips again. Even when he was being mean again, he pet your head and wiped away your tears. “You sure you wanna keep goin’ pretty?” You hiccupped, taking the time he’s graciously given you to take a breather, and nodded. He smiled like the devil himself and planted a harsh smooch right on your lips before moving back, lining his cock against your wet folds. “Y’ready, baby doll?” Another nod. He pushed in.

“Ah fuck, Shuji–s’big.” you gasped, arching your back in the pleasure and slight pain you felt. You couldn’t stop yourself–he was big, though you knew you were feeding his ego when you heard a laugh tumble from his lips–deep in his chest. “You’re okay, baby–gonna stretch you out nice on my dick.” He started moving slow, and you swore you could feel each vein as his cock stretched your walls around him. His movement was deliberate, passionate, like he was making sure your pussy would be molded to only take his cock for the rest of your life. Though even if he told you so, you’d openly admit you’d never be able to be with another man after him. As he felt you loosen enough to move freely, he fucked into you faster, leaning over onto his forearms–dropping his forehead to yours, hair forming a curtain around the two of you. “You waited for me, baby? Waited so I could take your virginity, right?” He spoke nonsense and you both knew it. But fuck, he felt so good inside of you, you couldn’t help but let him hear exactly what he wanted. “Waited for you, Shuji–wanted to give it to you.” You were able to barely get your words out before he groaned above you, humping you like a dog in heat. “Fuck, baby doll–pussy’s so fucking tight.” His jaw tightened as he got the words out, angling himself to feel you cum around him again. “Wanna feel you cum, baby, come on, give it to me.” his hips slammed against yours, wicked pace stealing your breath. Silent screams escaped you, gasping and crying when you came around him again, and he relished in the feeling of your abused cunt clenching and twitching around him. “There we go” He breathed out a laugh, kissing your tears as they fell. 

Hanma only let up enough to get his hands on the backs of your thighs and push them up to your chest. He was fully over you now, continuing to pound into your swollen pussy. “Shujiii” You whined, nails clawing at his wrists but unable to move him. At this angle he kept hitting all the right spots and you needed him to slow down. Yet the only word that would spill from your mouth was his name, like a silent prayer or mantra. Your third orgasm of the night came quickly, messier than the first two–your juices splashing on his thighs as he kept fucking into you. Folding in half you had no power to stop him, only able to take the pleasure that was bordering on painful with how quickly he was making you cum with no breaks. “Come on, pretty girl, come on.” Hanma was far gone, pupils blown out with lust–mumbling to himself more than to you, bed creaking underneath you with his strength. 

He maneuvered your thighs to be pressed against your chest with one arm, his now free hand finding your swollen clit and pinching– your screams and moans filling the room as your fourth orgasm felt like a house of bricks being dropped on you. You covered him in your juices, his cock now covered in a frothy white layer that webbed and stuck to the both of you. Even as he let go of your clit, Hanma was still chasing that high–so close to getting off. He wrapped his free hand around your jaw, covering your throat and shoving his thumb into your mouth. “Look at me baby.” He ground out, just to see your fucked out face eyes all teary and glassy. Your mouth was upturned in a slight smile, completely cockdrunk. It was enough to push him over the edge and still deep inside you, shooting his thick load in your abused hole. 

Silence filled the air, and slowly Hanma let go of your face and your legs, pulling out and hissing when he felt his cum dribble out with him. “Fuck..don’t think I’ll ever stop dreaming about that.” He laughed, and laughed harder when your weak hand slapped his shoulder. He dropped his weight next to you, collecting you in his arms with a kiss to your temple. “How you feelin’ baby doll?” He whispered, and you hummed, snuggling deeper into him. “Good. Sore. Always so mean to me.” You teased, feeling yourself off into sleep. He smiled at your temple and let you drift into slumber, at least for now–he’d have to clean you up. 

Until then, he reached over to your phone and finally changed his name in your phone, keeping the heart but replacing his surname with ‘Shuji’.

[skitskatdacat63]

Happy One Year Anniversary to Boy King AU!!!! 🎉

Okay wait before I start talking, look at these close ups and the process!! Aren't they so beautiful aaaahhhh

Wow, can you believe it’s really been a whole entire year since my very first post about this AU? Well technically I first started talking about the statuette a day earlier, but the very first sketch was exactly a year ago!! Let us not forget the incredibly prophetic tag on that post: “also in the sense of this au i think the only ship that would work(historically accurate wise) is Vettonso.” Who knew that after that my entire life would devolve into vettonso, this specific period of history, and the lovely combo which is Boy King AU. Also wow this means it’s taken me almost a whole entire year to actually draw a joint portrait of them hahaha. I drew this sketch around the beginning of the AU, but never finished it. It’s fine though because this one is a lot better, and I’m in love with it. Took me a year to draw a couple portrait, and took me almost a whole entire month to finish said piece. 

Okay let me explain this piece, which I am very obsessed with!!! I dragged the process out more than I usually would, but I’m glad, because it was so enjoyable. But also look at that fucking crown, no wonder this took almost a month. Usually I’d write like 50 paragraphs detailing the characterization. HOWEVER! I’ve spent over a month writing little bits of characterization, mostly for fun, but also in preparation for this very post. A lot of the earlier ones, I had this drawing in mind, thinking on how I could expand on the ideas I was drawing. Though there’s definitely some things I could still write about. I’ll probably continue to write more Lore a Days, but yeah, they basically amounted to this drawing where you can actually see the characterization I was talking about displayed. Anyways, here are the explanations of bits in the drawing:

First of all, this is some part of the long process of their wedding. Look at the married couple!! Look at their rings!!!

Okay, but why are there two, almost identical looking pieces?? Because look at their hands!! I talked a lot about how Fernando is the one to give out affection more easily, especially in public, where he knows he can easily fluster Seb. He’s acting all grumpy and out of it, I mean to be fair, it’s probably been such a long ceremony across weeks. But he notices Seb is out of it too, just better at keeping his smile (let’s be honest, even if he’s distracted, he’s super smug.) So Fernando catches him off guard by squeezing his hand. Before that, as you can see, Fernando is just resting his hand on Seb’s outstretched palm, like that one scene from Succession. Very: yes I’m getting married, but I’m not happy about it. The combination of Fernando refusing to even touch him more than lightly beforehand but now going full force, them being in public, and Seb already being distracted catches Seb so off guard he has to try to cover his blush with his fan. He thought Fernando was being super impolite, but now he’s the impolite one!! Getting all blushy and giggly over a simple display of affection, perhaps even ha-

So. Their crowns. Seb’s wearing the crown of Austria, because he is in fact only a king still! Also, because I really wanted to try drawing it after I wimped out of it before in this drawing. Fernando’s a king as well by the point, but the fact he’s wearing only a tiara-like hairpiece is to represent how much of an outsider he still is. At this moment, he’s just Seb’s wi- ,I mean husband, to all these guests. Of course this bitch wears a black veil instead of a white one, to signal that he’s mourning the loss of his autonomy and personhood. Don’t worry too much about his mental state though, considering he’s not depressed enough to be able to resist teasing Seb. 

The fan, oh my god. Back in this era, people would gift/make fans for basically any occasion. To symbolize an event, to celebrate something, to show a story, etc etc. I wish I could have drawn something more narrative, but I think the bull vs. horse is good enough. Also you can see those same symbols on the pendants they’re wearing!! I’m so happy when I can fit irl, modern stuff like that into these drawings, it feels so clever!!

It’s so funny, I wrote a lore a day from a prompt about what they’d be like when doing a joint portrait, while I was already almost through painting a dual portrait of my own! So I got to explain some stuff like their clothing colors and poses before I even posted this. I feel very coy about that still honestly. 

Hmmm what else? It feels so weird to not expand on the characterization, considering I already did it for myself weeks in advance. I can’t imagine what it’s like opening this read more, and seeing more than 10 in-text citations. Happy reading!!!

 Happy anniversary to  this wonderful, crazy AU that makes me download 500pg German papers about 18th century etiquette. I drew a couple pieces of fanart before this AU, but I definitely think it jumpstarted my insanity about drawing/making AUs, and literally is what made me insane about Vettonso in the first place. Remember, if I hadn’t learned about Joseph I/Charles VI, most of my blog probably wouldn’t exist in it's current form. Thank you if you’ve stuck around since the beginning, or if you’re even just learning about it now!! It’s so incredibly niche but I’ve had so much fun researching and building this world and these characterizations, and I hope you’ve enjoyed what I’ve made in the process. I hope I can draw/write many more things in the future. I think next, I’m gonna maybe open up requests. I’d like to try to either write ficlets or draw chibi comics about specific Lore a Day posts on request. I think that’d be a lot of fun, but also will probably kill me. We’ll see!! Anyways. PPlease enjoy this absolute labor of love, which is a result of a year’s worth of work.

[vampwritesstuff]

Forgotten Melodies

Chapter 2 - Long Time, No See

Pairing - Kim Hongjoong x Fem!Reader

Genre - smau, post college au, non idol au, fluff, angst, ex friends to friends, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, slowburn

Chapter warnings - mentions about Y/n’s mom being sick and hospitalized.

Moving back to Seoul after studying abroad in the States, Y/n couldn’t decide if fate wanted to punch her in the gut or give her a warm hug after she finds herself reconnecting with an old group of friends by pure chance. The only thing is, she didn’t leave on good terms with one of them.

a/n this is a pretty short written part that takes place right before the gc messages in the last part, I’ll be so honest that I am really out of practice with writing at the moment cause I haven’t worked on anything in so long 😅 so I am really sorry if this chapter isn’t good, but I hope you guys will stick around for the long haul!

You huffed as you placed the last of your suitcases in the living room of your new apartment. The rest of your belongings would be arriving at the end of the week, which you were not looking forward to unpacking. The apartment was nice enough, your dad had done a good job of finding something to your taste. Simple and functional.

“Are you ready to go see your mom?” The sound of your dad’s voice interrupted your thoughts, you looked over to see him standing in the doorway of the apartment. “Yeah, let’s go see mom.” You replied, grabbing your wallet and heading out of the apartment to go to the hospital to see your mom.

Your mom had been sick for a while, having been diagnosed with lung cancer a year after you moved abroad to study at a college in America, and while you had wanted to immediately drop your studies and go back home to be there for your parents, your mom wanted you to stay and graduate to earn your degree. So after graduating a month ago, your dad asked you to return home because she was getting worse, and had been admitted to the hospital for around a week by now.

It was late afternoon, both you and your father took the elevator down. “Your mom is a fighter, you know that?” Your dad interrupted the silence, receiving a solemn nod from you. “Yeah, I know that, mom doesn’t give up easily.” You had been trying to keep yourself distracted while you were in America, but there was always a constant worry for your mom and dad in the back of your mind. Both of them were getting older, and with your mom being sick, you dreaded the possibility of receiving a phone call from your dad telling you she passed while you weren’t there for her and her last moments. But now you were back in Seoul, and you were bound and determined to be there for your family.

Soon the elevator stopped at the level that led to the parking garage, and as the doors opened you were greeted by the faces of two men. A surprised noise escaped the one with a mole under his left eye, only to be dragged out of the way by his friend who looked well built and might’ve only been an inch taller than the other man. They looked familiar, but you couldn’t quite put names to the faces, until the one with the mole spoke up.

“Y/n? Is that really you?” Then it clicked, you could never forget that annoying voice, although it was less high pitched than it was in high school. Then it also hit you who was standing next to him, Jesus did San change a whole lot. “Wooyoung? San?”

“Oh my god! How have you been? Why are you back in Korea? I thought you planned on staying in America permanently?” Wooyoung rattled on, no less different than the last time you had talked to him, which had been the day you both graduated high school. “Wooyoung, chill, one question at a time.” San reprimanded his best friend, you shook your head in disbelief. You hadn’t thought about them in so long, it was a really weird feeling to be seeing them at the moment.

“I’ve been good, and yes I was going to stay in America, but some things have come up and I had to move back for the time being.” You explained as much as you could without delving into the details of why you were back, even if they were some of your closest friends in high school, it still had been years since you had any contact with them and people can change. You didn’t think it was necessary for them to know what was happening in your personal life at the moment.

“Oh, well, we’re glad you’re back. Are you moving into this apartment?” San asked, and it might’ve been an attempt to keep Wooyoung from prying any further as it looked like that was what he was about to do. “I am, why? Do you guys live here?” You asked, now curious. San nodded, but before he could say much else, your dad interrupted with an obviously fake cough. “Sorry, to interrupt, but we have to get going, Y/n. Visitation hours will be ending soon.” He said as he began walking to his parked car, you turned back to tell San and Wooyoung goodbye, missing the glint of curiosity behind both male’s gazes. “I’ve got to go, but since we’ll be in the same building, I’ll see you guys around later.” You told them before rushing to catch up with your dad.

Both Wooyoung and San then looked at each other, Wooyoung had a large smile as he bounced onto the elevator that you and your dad had previously occupied, with San following suit. But San was more so worried about what your dad had implied, where would you need to be going that had visitation hours?

Once he and Wooyoung were back in their shared apartment, he pulled out his phone and messaged the groupchat.

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Fic Rec Friday #4

If y'all want more fic rec fridays, check out @mediumgayitalian

Below are 5 fics I've enjoyed this past week/recently.

(guess who learned how to indent on posts!)

oh, what a sin by @rosyredlipstick

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17194697

Summary:

For some reason, Nico thought convincing Fitzwilliam Emerson "Golden Boy" Solace to abandon his hosting duties, blow off his company’s gala entirely, and run off with him into the night would be much harder. Well, that’s what Jason gets for trying to force Nico into attending a party.

We're back with another Rosy fic! This is an awesome one-shot where Will and Nico are both rich little shits and sneak away from their big-shot families. I'd read an entire series of this! The way Nico and Will's chemistry shines in this one-shot is incredible. Plus the family relations of Nico's family is just *chef's kiss*.

talk your talk and go viral (i just need this love spiral) by wrongcaitlyn

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46368430

Summary:

“Keep telling yourself that,” Will says quietly, because even though the door is closed, speaking any louder would seem wrong. “You’re too harsh on yourself. If you wrote songs or something, you’d easily get on the Billboard Hot 100. Dad would help you. I would, too.” “Promote it to your seven followers?” “Yes!” Nico laughs, and then Will is joining him, and they’re closer than before, but it’s nothing unusual. It’s been this way since before stupid feelings and stupid crushes, and Nico would be damned if he let it change just because of that. or a celebrity au ft. childhood friends to lovers, a bit of trauma, and a famous friend group (plus leo).

--

I'm still in the beginning stages of reading this story, but I'm already obsessed with it! The author's writing style is interesting, and I just love a good celebrity AU.

we're not brave, we're not soldiers by Chriscrosswallflower

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39827199

Summary:

The battle of Manhattan was mostly a blood stained blur but Will would never forget the sight of his brother’s body falling along with that bridge. __ Follow along with this set of one shots as Percy and Will navigate the pain and trauma of being child soldiers and grow to form an unlikely friendship. Because I think these two could be great friends and two sides of the same coin, so I decided to put my plot bunnies to paper.

I just really love the way Percy and Will are portrayed in this collection of one-shots. Their trauma and emotions feel so raw and so well-written, and I'm personally a Will and Percy besties truther, so I honestly would have loved this fic anyways. The fact that it's so awesome is a bonus.

The Sum of Our Choices: The Titan's Curse by TheTimeTraveler24

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24637117

Summary:

Maybe it's not always about trying to fix something broken. Maybe it's about starting over and creating something better. A group of special individuals are drawn together for a reason. They might not see it yet, but they are the only ones who have the power to change their destiny. They'll face opposition from the gods along the way and sometimes things won't work out the way they want. But this group is special. Their choices just might be the key to everything. Something is happening. Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, and Thalia Grace are on their way to Westover Hall in response to a distress call from Grover Underwood. At the same time, Magnus Chase is wandering around in the woods. Under strange circumstances, the two groups meet and the course of history will never be the same.

This fic is actually a crossover AU with the Magnus Chase series, so if that's not your cup of tea, feel free to skip. However, this fic is a time travel "fix-it" fic of sorts where the trio are taken from their lives post the Hidden Oracle and have to relieve the events of the The Titan's Curse (and the rest of the series, this series is 800k words!) and I'm still on the first fic, but I am HOOKED already! So I figured I'd rec it here.

three-in-one soap by thelordofshrimp

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52887397

Summary:

Austin glared at his sister. “Will can’t lie, genius. He says that since he became head counselor, any shower that lasts more than three minutes gets interrupted by someone needing his help.” “That’s… crazy.” Nico considered the number of showers he’d taken even in his short time at camp and imagined if even half of them had been interrupted. “It is,” Jerry agreed. “Not like there’s much we can do about it, though.” “You can always do something about it.” Nico sat up. “There has to be something.” “Not unless you can somehow keep the whole camp safe at once.”

--

This is just a cute one-shot where Nico tries to make it so that Will can actually take a shower for once, but shenanigans ensue anyways. It made me smile, so I'm rec'ing it here.

--

Okay that's all! I'll probably keep doing this until I run out of fics to recommend. Have a good friday lovelies!

[fleurywiththesave]

↻ chapter 22

Eight hundred years later, I'm finally trying to tackle some of the prompts that have been languishing in my inbox. If you sent me one and have long since forgotten about it, I hope that seeing it answered will be a pleasant surprise!

↻ FLIP FLOP:send me a scene from one of my fics and I’ll describe or write it from another character’s POV! (for this prompt: the team finds out mattdrai are a couple when bowie sees matthew and runs to him from across the room)

Matthew thinks they’ve been doing a bang-up job of keeping things under wraps. They snuck out of hotels instead of using curfew exemptions in each other’s cities all season. They’ve been careful not to post any revealing locations on social media during the summer. And now Matthew has absolutely nailed not spending the entirety of Biosteel ogling Leon, no matter how much he looks like a decidedly NSFW Instagram reel pouring water over his head after a workout. Or just, you know, stretching.

Leon gets to the party first. He’ll say it’s because Matthew is always late, but it’s actually because Matthew is the only one who put any effort into his appearance tonight. Leon wouldn’t know a leave-in conditioner if it broke his nose. Yeah, his hair will behave without it, but it’s the PRINCIPLE of the thing. Not to mention the scent. He always seems particularly fixated on nuzzling Matthew’s hair after he’s used it. Not that Matthew would ever exploit that information for his own personal benefit.

When he gets to Connor’s, he’s made it about five feet into the foyer when Bowie comes flying at him, demanding snuggles. God, Matthew loves that dog. He picks Bowie up and gives him a hello kiss while chatting with Eichel awhile until he wanders off in search of more beer.

Matthew thinks he can be forgiven for jumping about a foot in the air when Mitch appears behind him without warning and mutters “nice dog” in a whisper that has to be intentionally creepy.

“What are you doing?” Matthew demands once his heartbeat has returned to something approaching normal.

“What am I doing? What are you doing?” Mitch asks.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how you’re standing around cuddling with Leon Draisaitl’s dog? Who seemed awfully excited to see you when you got here?”

Oh, this has got to be some kind of cosmic joke. Mitch? Mitch doesn’t notice anything. Matthew once swapped Mitch’s cinnamon toothpaste with his mint for an entire week just to see what would happen. He watched Mitch use it, frown at the completely different tube, and just shrug. But this he catches onto immediately?

“I don’t know what you mean,” he says primly. “I was greeted by this fine canine specimen and it required my immediate attention.”

Wrong thing to say, apparently, since Mitch just glares and points at him.

“Now I know you’re lying,” he says. “You only talk like that when you’re lying. It’s like you’re trying so hard not to tell the truth that you forget to pretend you don’t know big words.”

“Just because you can’t pronounce ‘encyclopedia’ doesn’t mean anything with more than two syllables is a big word, Mitchy.”

“And you’re deflecting! What’s the deal, Chucky? Why do you have Draisaitl’s dog?”

“Because.” Matthew begins the sentence with no idea how to end it, so he doesn’t. He stares at Mitch. Mitch stares at him.

“Because…”

“Because we’re dating.”

Whoops. There it is.

Mitch’s face transforms in a second, but he doesn’t look confused or alarmed like Matthew might have predicted. He almost looks…gleeful?

“I knew it!” he exclaims, so loudly that a couple other guys turn to look at them and Matthew has to grab his arm and haul him into the back hallway. “I fucking knew it! I told Auston there was no way you guys could be at each other’s throats like that all the time with zero sexual tension, and he was all sometimes people just don’t get along, Mitchy. Oh, I can’t wait to tell him. Can I call him right now? Wait, no, let’s FaceTime – I want him to see you holding Draisaitl’s dog.”

“Would you calm down for ten seconds?” Matthew hisses. “No, we’re not calling Auston. You can’t tell him, okay? You can’t tell anyone. Brady doesn’t even know yet.”

Mitch deflates for a second, but perks up again almost instantly. “Wait, I’m the first person to figure it out? I want a gold star. And a cookie.”

“You’ll get me not punching you in the face and you’ll like it.”

“Fair enough,” Mitch agrees. “So how long has it been?”

“Almost a year,” Matthew admits. “After I came to Florida.”

“The distance brought you together,” Mitch coos.

“Or the fact that we weren’t contractually obligated to hate each other anymore.”

“Yeah, that too.” Mitch tilts his head up and looks at Matthew thoughtfully. “And you’re happy?”

Matthew looks at the dog in his arms, who’s almost asleep. He glances into the kitchen, where Leon is shooting the shit with Nathan MacKinnon, easy and relaxed, full profile on display so that Matthew is hit with an almost overwhelming need to bite his jaw.

“Yeah, I’m happy.”

Mitch beams. “Then I’m happy for you. Also, I expect full details at some point when there aren’t two dozen other NHLers in earshot.” He slaps Matthew on the arm and turns to leave the hallway. “Oh, by the way, Chucky?”

“What?”

Mitch nods across the room to where Connor is looking at them with a small smile on his face.

“I think Davo knows.”

[joeshiestyslover]

i hate u

pairing: lsu!fratboy!joe burrow x volleyballplayer!reader

summary: you and joe were together before he transferred to lsu, when he broke your heart, but what happens when you end up transferring to the same college?

warnings: language, angst, joe’s an asshole

a/n: i got some inspo from a request and tied in a sza song bc i love her. also there will be a part 2

lowercase intended

masterlist

today’s the day your entire life changes, but little do you know, in more ways than one. a couple months ago just before your junior year ended, you were offered an athletic scholarship to play volleyball for lsu instead of ohio state. you immediately accepted because as much as you love your home state, you were tired of sitting on the bench waiting to finally play on the court. lsu offered you a starting position, so you would’ve been crazy to not say yes. 

you’re ready to leave ohio behind and forget the bad memories, well one bad memory in particular. you began dating your childhood best friend in college, after waiting for him to love you back your entire childhood. ever since you met, you both were inseparable, doing absolutely everything together, including college when you both were accepted to ohio state. the moment you started dating, you were the happiest you had been in a long time, and that happiness you thought would last forever, it only lasted three years. 

he decided to transfer from ohio state to lsu to play football because he was never given the chance to be starting quarterback, and lsu just happened to give him that chance. you were worried at first because he was going to be the furthest away that he had ever been, but he was quick to reassure you everything was going to be fine and that he was never going to forget about you or neglect you. 

oh, how you wish you never believed his bullshit lies.

after a couple weeks of him being in louisiana, he started to call less, basically ignoring your entire existence. you had planned to talk to him about it one night over facetime, but that morning you received a text from him that simply read, i think we need to take a break. you texted and called himnumerous times, trying to get him to explain, but he never responded or picked up your calls. after hundreds of unread texts and voicemails, you gave up. you still tried to keep up with him, looking at his social media accounts, until one day, when you checked a post he was tagged in, you saw him at a party making out with a girl that was perched on his lap. your heart broke, and you decided to block him on everything so you could move on; something that he had clearly already done. 

you are currently carrying the last of your boxes into your dorm room, chatting with your new roommate, eve. “so, why’d you transfer here again?” she asks you. “volleyball. i was tired of sitting on the bench all season.” you respond. “all season? damn.” “yeah i know. it fucking sucked, but that’s why i’m here now.” you tell eve. you finally finish carrying your boxes, and you decide to unpack tomorrow. you lie down onto your bed with a huff, “i forgot how much i hate moving.” you joke. suddenly, you hear a knock at your door, and eve jumps up to answer it. as she opens the door, she exclaims, “joe!”

no. it can’t be.

“oh my god, you have to meet my new roommate. y/n! come over here and meet joe!” you stand up, and slowly start to make your way towards the door. you look at the man in front of you, and make eye contact with him. “y/n!” joe exclaims. “it’s good to see you!” you only offer a small smile in return. “wait, do you two know each other?” eve questions, looking between you and joe. “umm just in passing.” you say, and joe gives you a confused look. “okay? me and joe are going to a party, so i probably won’t be back until after you fall asleep; so i’ll see you later, alright?” eve says. “yeah okay.” you reply as she walks out with joe. as you shut the door, you lean your back against it. “oh my fucking god this can’t be happening to me.” you say quietly to yourself. 

the next few days go by relatively smooth, with you finding your way around, getting your jersey along with your practice schedule, and adjusting to your new classes. you even were able to make a friend in your econ class, ja’marr. ja’marr told you that he’s a wide receiver for the football team, so you knew that he knows joe as well. about a week later, your roommate asks you the question you’ve been dreading. “how do you really know joe because the way he looked at you made it seem there’s more to the two of you than you let on.” you didn’t know how to answer her. you want to tell the truth, but do you want to trust someone you barely know with one of your worst memories? 

“if i tell you this, you cannot tell anyone, okay?” you tell her seriously. she nods, waiting for you to continue. “so, joe and i sorta dated back when we both went to ohio state.” “oh my god really?” she asks, shocked. “wait, there’s more. not only did we date, we were best friends since like childhood. he was literally my next-door neighbor.” eve’s jaw drops. “what happened between you two?” she inquires. “he broke up with me a couple weeks after he transferred here, over text.” “no! over text?! what a douche!” she exclaims. “i know, but after a while, i got over it, and now i’m here.” you say to her. “holy shit. that’s so fucked up, and i promise i won’t tell anyone.” “thank you eve.” you tell her. “but i am going to give you my honest opinion. i think you should talk to joe.” “no.” you have no interest in talking to that sleazeball. “why not? you two can finally clear the air and move on! don’t you want that?” eve tries to reason. “if he wanted to clear the air, he would have done that when he first broke up with me instead of being a coward and not responding to my texts or calls.” you state. 

almost on cue, you hear a knock at the door, maybe it’s one of eve’s friends. you really hope so. “oh hi joe. can you give me and y/n a sec? thanks.” she shuts the door, and you stand up from your bed. “do not tell me you brought him here eve!” you raise your voice slightly. “listen i had no idea about your history with him, so i invited him over here yesterday to watch a movie. i’m so sorry!” eve apologizes. “it’s fine. i’ll just go. text me when he leaves.” “come on, y/n! i think he actually wants to see you!” she says. “well, tough because i don’t want to see him.” you begin to walk towards the door. “please! just stay for a little while! if it gets too much for you, i’ll ask him to leave. please stay.” eve begs. “fine, but you owe me big time.”

eve opens the door, and there stands the boy you fell in love with almost twenty years ago. you briefly make eye contact before looking back at your roommate. “okay joe, come on in. i’ll put on the movie.” you try your best not to look at his face as you both sit down on the beanbags on your floor. the awkward silence deafening until joe speaks up, “so y/n, how have you been?” “umm since you broke my heart, then ran off like a coward? oh i’m just peachy keen!” you say back to him sarcastically, not bothering to make eye contact with him. your remark seems to shut him up until eve comes back over to the both of you after starting the movie.

all throughout the movie, you notice joe stealing glances at you every so often, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t doing the same. once the movie’s over, you’re waiting for eve to kick his sorry ass out of your dorm. for some reason, he isn’t leaving, and you try to get eve’s attention, but she’s too caught up in some conversation with joe. finally, eve walks over to you, and joe is still not leaving. “so umm, i know i said i would tell him to leave, but he wants to talk to you.” she says sheepishly. you sigh, knowing how stubborn joe can be. “five minutes. that’s it.” you tell her. she nods and walks back over to joe, and he looks back at you with a look in his eyes that you can’t quite pinpoint. “i’ll be back guys. y/n, please try not to murder him.” eve calls out to the both of you. 

“so what do you want to talk about?” you ask, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “i just wanted to tell you that i’m so sorry for what i did to you. i was an asshole and you didn’t deserve it. i just want you to know i never fell out of love with you. hell, i still love you, but-” “joe, stop.” you cut him off. “you don’t get to say you’re sorry because you sure as hell weren’t sorry when you broke my heart a year ago.” you say, coldly. “i know that i can never change what i did to you, but i just want you to know that i really am sorry, even if you don’t believe me.” you can’t believe what you’re hearing. “i thought you loved me joe.” you say, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. “i did love you! i still do!” he starts to raise his voice. “bullshit joe! you’re so fucking selfish! i don’t know why you give a shit all of a sudden! is it because you feel guilty? or do you just feel sorry for me?” you yell. “y/n-” “i don’t care anymore joe! you know why? it’s because you are not the person i fell in love with years ago!” you seethe. “i know, y/n. i know. it wasn’t fair for me to do that to you.” he tells you, looking at his shoes. “you can’t even look at me joe! i mean, did you ever realize you were hurting me? or did you just not care?” “y/n please-” “shut up joe! i hate you! it was so shitty of you to make me feel like that! god, what i would do to make you feel the way i did when you ripped out my heart and stomped on it!” your tears are falling down your face, stalling at your chin, and you don’t even bother to wipe them off. “y/n, just let me explain.” he begs you. “no! you had your chance to explain while you were off fucking random girls last year! you know what joe? fuck you!” a silence takes over the room, and you decide that you’re done with this conversation and joe. “get out.” you say calmly, looking him straight in the eye. “what?” joe’s voice wavers slightly. “you heard me. i said five minutes and it’s been five minutes. it’s time for you to leave.” “okay i understand.” he begins to walk towards you door, but stops to tell you, “just so you know, it has always been you, y/n. i never stopped loving you.”, his voice breaking on the last word, but you just give him a slight nod before he walks out of your dorm.

you walk over to your bed and sit down, staring at the ground. a wave of emotion washes over you, and you start to sob uncontrollably, your chest heaving, feeling as if you can’t breathe. you don’t notice eve being in the room until you feel you bed dip next to you, and her arms wrap around you. you lean into her as she comforts you and tries to calm you down. you don’t know when you could ever forgive joe for what he did to you, but it certainly isn’t now.

a/n: i kinda hate this but oh well

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 15 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 16

Summary : Loki keeps having surreal dreams about you two. Something terrible happens.

Warning: 18+ , mention of sex, mention of periods, discussion of menstruation, mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, self deprecating behaviour, soft sweet loki, but also Melissa again x three,

“I think I’m on my periods”

He stared at you intently before he jumped off the bed with such a speed that it seemed as if he had teleported.

"You what?"

"Periods?" You said sheepishly

"I know I just..what do you need princess?" he asked you so you sat up and got off the bed in order to not stain the sheets.

"Ummm everything…I'm so stupid, i almost forgot my date even though I was pms'ing throughout the week..i need pads or tampons would do too and oh my god oww I guess I don't need painkiller, I'll just take the medicine they gave me for my ankle" you clutched onto your lower belly as it churned painfully before you hopped slowly towards the bedside drawer to pick up the pain killers.

Was he giving you the best orgasm of your life while you were bleeding? You hoped not.

He put his hands on his waist to ponder over the situation. He had seen you suffering through this natural ailment in the past five months but he never had to do anything for you except whenever you needed his hand to use as a heating pad.

"Lokii?" He snapped out of his thoughts as you called out to him.

"Yes darling?"

"Ummm do something please or I'm going to bleed through my clothes"

"I will be right back" he walked towards you and cupped your cheeks to kiss your forehead and then he was gone. You hated putting him in this murky situation, you should have been prepared for this before you came here. How did you forget?

He honestly had no clue what he was going to do or where he was going. He wasn't allowed to wander out there, even if he could he'd know nothing about what to get or what kind of products you needed for your womanly cycle.

He knocked on Thor's door and his eyes fell upon his own giant erection, you were enticing him so well before you realized that you were bleeding. He used the charm to get rid of it quickly before anyone would see it. Worse of all, Thor.

"Brother what brought you to my humble abode?" Thor smiled cheerfully, he was half naked so Loki crossed his arms and glared at him.

"I need help, may I have a word with your lady?" Thor looked at him perplexed before he sighed and called Jane.

She was a little wary of him especially since she had seen first hand how Loki had tried to kill the man she loved so much but Thor explained everything to her and well she didn't detest him as much as used to before. There was a supermarket a few floors below so Jane, Thor and Loki went there and she helped him get everything that a woman could possibly need. When he returned to his room he knocked on the bathroom door and you asked him to come in, he found you sitting on the toilet, your shorts and underwear were hanging on the side, you had washed it probably, the large shirt went past your thighs, you were trying to cover up as much as you could.

"I hope this would be sufficient, if not please do not hesitate to tell me" he said softly as he put a bag down on your thighs. It was huge and you didn't even need months worth of period supply.

"Goshhh thank you lo" you raised your hands up so he leaned down and then you kissed him softly.

"I'll be out there" you nodded as he said that before he left the bathroom to give you the privacy. Once you were done you came out and he was on the bed waiting for you so you walked timidly and sat next to him.

"Are you feeling alright princess?" He turned his body towards you as he questioned "Does it hurt? Idiotic question. Let me help?" You looked at him as he mumbled, his voice so soft and tender, they made you want to cry. Your eyes teared up and of course he noticed that.

"You're the sweetest man ever you know that?" You cupped his cheeks to kiss him before you hugged him as tightly as you could "I'm so embarrassed right now, sorry about that" you mumbled apologetically so he hugged you even tighter.

"Princess are you really apologizing for having something so natural?" He let out a little laugh and the sound of his laughter made you smile.

"No I guess I should have been prepared..i don't know how i forgot..i hope it wasn't much trouble "

"Not at all, Me and lady Jane were finally able to bond over the subject of different pads for different flow. It makes quite a conversational piece" you chuckled as he said that.

"Oh baby. Tell her I said thanks, oh wait, does she know that I am here?"

"Yes. Thor revealed it to her"

"Ohhh" You kissed him again passionately before your lips moved to his neck, he let out a pretty little moan but as you placed your hand on his cock he grabbed your hand.

"What are you doing sweetheart?"

"Continuing what I started" you but on your lips before you kissed him deeply, the sound of his contented moan in your mouth was heavenly. But before he could lose it all he tried to control himself, you were in pain and he needed you to rest.

"No. You're going to rest, you already had this leg wound and now you must be in excruciating pain, we can do this later"

"Lo..i dont–"

"No..I said, No, okay?" He said sternly so you made a pout and pulled away.

It's not that he didn't want you to touch him. Of course he did. How could he not? But you were in so much discomfort and all he wanted to do was take care of you.

He laid you down on the bed and placed his hand on your belly and then you felt the temperature rising, you sighed happily as the warmth really helped with the cramps, those painkillers made you doze off quickly and your warm body in his arms made him fall asleep too.

He was standing in front of a door and then he heard it opening, you were on the other side looking a bit nervous.

You invited him in so he looked around, it was a hotel room.

"Ummm you want something to drink? I have like ummm let me check" you walked towards the refrigerator to rummage through it "There's coke, some alcoholic beverages, I don't know if you consume that" He chuckled as you said that.

"Don't they charge heftily for that?" He asked you curiously.

"Well my ex is paying for the room soo you know"

"I will have whatsoever this Coke is supposed to be" you smiled nervously as he said that. You grabbed a can from the mini freezer and passed it to him, you were shocked a little when he opened the can without even using his fingers,

"It's a charm" he said as he found you looking a bit starstruck.

"I see.. I mean I know..you're like magical and all" He smiled as you said that, he walked closer to you and your breath quickened as he continued to reach closer and closer to you with every step.

"Have a sip lady y/n" he pressed the can right over your lips and it made you gulp.

"It's okay…I ummm" you stuttered on your words and he couldn't help but enjoy the sight of your squirming like that. It boded well for his ego that he had such an affect on you.

"I insist, it would be rude of me to not offer" you pressed your lips on the opening of the can and he raised it up a little so you could take a sip. After you were done with the sip, he brought the can back up to his own lips and drank from it, all while his eyes stayed glued to yours. He noticed the residue of the drink on the corner of your mouth and all he wanted to do was lick it off. His thoughts were filthy.

"Uhhh so how was the meeting with Stephen?" You asked him

"Atrocious, he so badly needed my assistance but the arrogant arse took a while before he admitted it" you chuckled as he said that.

"Well you should have seen him years ago before uhhh the accident, he was way worse"

"Mmmhmmm?" He walked closer to you and placed the can down on the dresser behind you "Makes me wonder why a sweet woman like you would ever hitch herself to a man such as him" He whispered, his voice remained low and husky.

"Well I thought it was right thing to do at the time" you looked down and he figured you couldn't even look in his eyes for longer than a few seconds.

"Is that so? Did it feel right?" He put his fingers on your chin and made you look up at him. This was strange for sure, he felt an instant connection with you for some reason as soon as he had spotted you in the lounge dancing as if you had no care for the world, this has never happened to him and he had lived a long life.

"Not really..if the divorce wasn't enough of an indication for you then let me tell you that I do regret that decision everyday of my life"

He smiled as you said that. The forest green slip dress you had on made you look delectable, there were two heart shaped ribbons attached to the top of the straps that kept the dress hanging on your body, he found it really adorable. You let out a moan as his thumb brushed over your lower lip.

"Lokiiii" the sound of his whispered name made his cock harden in a jiff but he used the charm to keep himself from showing it, he didn't want you to think as if he was there for just a night of fun. Though he wouldn't have been opposed to that either.

"Apologies little one, I got carried away" He took a step back and he noticed your heavy breathing. You weren't making this any easier, this is the most lustful he had ever been for a woman he hardly knew. But was it just lust because he surely seemed to have certain feelings that he couldn't really describe and feelings that weren't overtly sexual in nature. He wanted to hold you and cuddle with you, he wanted more..

"It's okay I just… I am still dealing with the divorce and I just.. I don't know what you thought would happen tonight and I know I invited you here basically but I ..I'm just not ready for ..you know" your eyes teared up as you mumbled, his softened as he noticed the anxious look on your face.

"Whatever it is that you desire from me tonight, I will give you that darling" he said firmly so you smiled before you chuckled slightly

"Really? So if I tell you that I barely have any friends and I want you to be my friend first, would you be my friend?" You asked him, perhaps joking, he could sense the mockery in your tone, he didn't blame you, he knew his reputation wasn't the best especially because of how promiscuous his brother was on midgard he figured you must have put him through the same judgment.

"I would love to be your friend, I do not have any either"

Your eyes widened as he said that.

"Okay so ummmm okay we can be friends i guess" he smiled as he grabbed your hand and placed a formal kiss on the back.

"My lady, I won't disappoint you i promise"

When Loki woke up from yet another vivid dream he sat up as he noticed the sunlight illuminating the room through the blinders of the window, you were not in bed but before he could freak out he heard the shower running and laid back down to think about the dream he just had. Why did it feel so real again? Whenever he had nightmares he could clearly differentiate between his visions and the reality but these dreams felt as if he was watching a film or something. It could have been just the result of the talk he had with you last night about your own dream.

Yes it probably was just that.

As he heard the bathroom door opening he propped himself on his elbows and as soon as your eyes met with his he smiled. He noticed that you had showered.

"Aren't you a pretty sight in the morning?" You cooed as you put the towel down on the stool in front of the dresser and wobbled to him.

"Is your leg worse today?" He asked you as you crawled into the bed and gave him the birdy kisses that he adored so much before you pulled away to look at him. There were sleepy marks all over his face and they made you smile.

"Mmmm just a little..but it's probably because I'm not resting them" you said as you kissed his forehead. God you loved him

"Why didn't you wake me up then?"

"Because you looked so peaceful and so pwettyy" he let out a laugh at the baby voice before he kissed you.

"Stay right here, I will shower and then bring you food"

He got up and grabbed the towel you had just put down on the stool, the gesture made you blush. Before he could disappear into the bathroom, he stopped at the doorway and turned to look at you.

"Darling, may I ask you something?" He asked so you nodded.

"Anything lo"

"The dream you told me about, do you remember what you were wearing?" His brows furrowed as he noticed you thinking about it.

"I don't really remember clearly it was dark in the club or whatever place I was at" he hummed as you said that but then you spoke again and whatever you said gave him something to think about while he stood under the cold shower and tried to piece together his dream with yours.

"Ohhh but I do remember that at one point I looked in a mirror and there were this heart shaped designs on the straps of the dress and I was like damnnn those are cute"

You chuckled but he only got more anxious, there's no possibility that you both were having the same dream or the continuation of the same event. Right?

He somehow finished showering and then he was out to get breakfast for you two, he decided to not ponder over it because he really just wanted to make the most of the time here with you before you'd have to go back.

You felt really bad about your situation at the moment, he gave you that mind blowing orgasm and you couldn't stop thinking about how you were not able to return the favor.

You heard his door knob twisting and your heart beat sped up, whenever Loki had returned with food yesterday he always teleported since his hands were often full. The knob twisting startled you even more so because he had just left so there was no way he was at the door. You quickly got off the bed, wincing as you put the injured leg harshly on the floor, the cloak was on the couch so put it on before whosoever on the other side of the door could enter.

Why didn't you just lock the door?

A moment later you saw Melisaa entering, she was on the phone talking to someone, your blood boiled as she sat down on the stool in front of the dresser as if she belonged there.

"Oh there's a party in the evening, why don't you come I'll get you vip entry" she cackled as she proceeded to pick up one of his cologne and sprinkled it all over herself, her behavior made you realize that this wasn't her first rodeo, she must be coming here whenever he wasn't here. What a creep.

She picked up his comb and placed the phone down after putting it on speaker. You heard another woman's voice on the other side, it must be one of her model friends probably.

"Soooo Mel, give me some tea, did anything happen between you and Loki?" Melisaa groaned as she heard that,

"Not really, I tried everything and it's as if he's gay or something, but I'll get him in bed anyhow, his brother Thor has a mortal girlfriend" she said nonchalantly and you crossed your arms, the urge to hit her was strong but you wanted to keep hearing what she had to say further.

"Yeah? And then what?" Her friend should be telling her off but then she chose to be friends with someone like Melisaa so you didn't have really have higher hopes for this other woman.

"If somehow I get Loki to marry me, could you even imagine how perfect my life would be? I would be the part of a royal family, even though he's not really Thor and a ugly monster or whatever but I'll compromise" she chuckled

"How will you do that, he doesn't even want to be your friend" her friend snickered.

"Oh he will come running back. I have a plan, people already know about us, I can always turn that in my favor, I'll try one more time but if he still refuses I'm just going to ruin his image even more, nobody gets to reject me like that and just get away with it" she laughed as she finished her sentence. You really wanted to obliterate her.

"Really girl? Aren't you afraid of the Avengers?"

"No. Those guys hate him already, and once I tell them how Loki has been abusing me behind the door, who do you think they will believe?"

She cackled like a witch again before she got up and left the room. As soon as she was out of your sight you walked towards the door and locked it this time.

How can someone be so evil? It's not that you were surprised by her evilness but trying to ruin someone like him? He had done nothing wrong to her, she was just scorned because he didn't want to do anything with her after she had used him and lied to him that first day.

When Loki returned with food you immediately told him everything barring some of the cruel words she had used for him, he was shocked at first but then he didn't really care for it.

"Why are you not worried about her? She's a fucking psycho" you crossed your arms so he smiled and walked towards you. He proceeded to sit you down on the bed and then gave you the plate so you could eat breakfast. He got on his knees and cupped your cheeks to kiss you before he pulled away,

"The horrors I have seen and endured would make one never want to wake again. The day I was defeated by those Avengers I saw my whole life flashing in front of my eyes and then I could see my future clearly. I envisioned myself being prisoned and forgotten forever but then a miracle occured and I found you" he smiled as he paused for a moment but your eyes welled up at his words "I had no hope but then along came a sweet princess in my path. No matter what happens or wherever I am I know I'll always have you in a way or another and that is enough, nothing else matters" you put the plate down on the bed as soon as he finished his words so you could pull him closer and kiss him.

It truly was a miracle that you met him, it made no sense as to why or how you did but you knew you had found the man you have been looking for all your life, no wonder you never fell so deeply in love before with anyone because nobody could ever compare to him. Nobody was or would ever be able to make you feel the way he did.

The next few days went blissfully, unfortunately he had to drop you back to your apartment a week later, your leg has gotten better and you didn't want to miss work anymore.

You truly wished things could have stayed the same forever but you knew that's not how it was going to be for you, it was just your luck. Bad luck really. You always had your wings cut short before you had even learned to fly. People always left even though they promised you that they won't. You were left alone and abandoned.

Something terrible happened that made him want to take a step back from this relationship with you. It wasn't your fault, neither was his and you tried so hard to understand his fears and worries but it hurt, It killed you. Losing the love of your life knowing too well that you'd never be able to love again really shattered you.

You both stood a few feet apart from each other in the middle of your apartment right behind that sofa where you had spent a countless hours just snuggling and kissing each other in the past few days. You were waiting to see him desperately today, you had seen the news and you just wanted to comfort him, you didn't really care much for what had happened to Melissa but you cared about him more than anything. However what he said as soon as he arrived had pulled the rug from under your feet.

"So that's it? We just go back to being friends? Or you don't want that either?" your eyes welled up, lips trembled as you spoke, the hurt look on your face made him want to disappear, he had vowed to not hurt you then how come he was the one breaking you so?

All he wanted to do was run to you and kiss you, he wanted to tell you that he didn't just want to be your friend, he didn't think he could handle being just your friend when his feelings for you were only growing deeper and stronger everyday but he had to do this.

He couldn't risk your life. He couldn't lose you to death.

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

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[fantasynsuch]

"Sweet Thing" - Adam Stanheight x Fem! Reader NSFW

TW: post trap. I refuse to write anything pre-trap, as it implies he isn't alive grrrr. Maybe voyeurism??

As I stretch my full body out, I groan in relief. I've been sitting at this god-forsaken desk since 10 am, and it's 1 now. My boss decided it would be appropriate to drop a week-long project on me two days ago: it's due tomorrow. He's a dickhead, and I await the day he gets fired. Until then, I still have to complete this damn project: and it's taken away my attention from Adam.

He knows that my job sometimes takes away attention from him, and God bless him, he really does understand why. He doesn't complain when all I can give him in terms of attention is a quick kiss on the forehead and a "love you". He usually grabs my hand as I walk away and falls right back to sleep, as he tends to get home incredibly late due to his weird working hours - cheating men don't have a set schedule, he usually jokes.

Like always, this morning, I kissed him quickly and made my way to the office: since we moved, we've had enough room to have our own separate work spaces, which has been incredibly useful.

As I think about him, I notice a cough from behind me, and I turn around out of shock. He doesn't usually wake up this early. His shirt is off and his snail trail is... very tempting.

"Hey, babe! You're up early." I huff out a laugh. He grins at me from the door way and responds to me: "Well, I just couldn't fall back asleep. I have a pretty girlfriend in here who needs someone to keep her company through this shitty work- what kind of man would I be if I didn't keep you entertained with my beautiful face?" He chortles.

I giggle and motion him to sit down in the armchair at the corner of the room as I turn around in my swivel chair. I hear him shuffle his way over to the chair. He plops down and sighs dramatically.

I ignore his attempts to distract me with hesitation, but this project was incredibly important. I can't let him distract me.

"Oh, I-I just am soo bored without you. I just don't know what to do without your hands wrapped around my back while I sleep in, whatever will I do?" He pouts and crosses his arms like a diva who didn't get something she wanted.

I roll my eyes and state simply, "You will NOT sway me from the path of righteousness this time, demon!" I turn my head away from the papers and hiss at him playfully. I grip my pencil tightly and begin writing notes down so I don't forget them. He's distracted me from work projects before, but I will not allow it this time!

He exhales and then groans. I peek at him and roll my eyes. He notices my eyes and grins.

"Oh, you're ignoring me? You're childish!" He pokes his tongue out at me and looks thoughtful for a moment. He smirks evily, but I don't think much of it. He can't think of anything that interesting.

"You won't distract me this time, gremlin." I state simply.

He rolls his eyes and looks around the room in thought. I ignore him for a little while, and I hear small brushing and movements, but I don't pay mind to it. From the corner of my eye, I see his head thrown back, and when I look back at him, my eyes nearly pop out of my head when I see his head resting back on the armchair and his hand palming his crotch through his sleep pants.

"W-what are you doing?" I hiss through gritted teeth and look at his directly. He raises his head and when he sees me looking at him, he smiles in mock victory. He continues palming himself through his pants and groans lightly.

"Tha' got your attention, sweet thing?" He asks me rhetorically, but we both know the answer. Of fucking course it got my attention.

"W-well, you're stroking your cock while I'm working, so yes! It got my attention." I throw out of my mouth before I can bite my tongue.

He half smiles, as he knows he's won.

"Well, you have work to do. Don't let me distract you, sweet thing." God, that fucking nickname gets me every time. He knows it, and he's usually it to his advantage.

Fuck him. Fuck him and his pretty eyes, and his lean, pale form, and his happy trail dusting his stomach. Fuck his thick, mouthwatering cock. Fuck him and his kissable, plush lips. God. The space between my thighs feels more and more uncomfortable as the dampness increases. I try to string some words together, but he startles me by grabbing his sleep pants and pulling them down fully. There, his fully erect cock springs from his bottoms and bounces up and down before settling at attention. He's dripping from his tip. When did he have the time to get this hard?!

"I can't well go back to work now. " I argue, but he stops me quickly and states: " You definitely can, sweet thing. Ignore me." He demands, and at the sound of the nickname, my cunt pulses, and I groan. His eyes crinkle up with his smile when he listens to my reaction.

I turn back to my desk, but I stare blankly at the forms. How could I do anything productive with him stroking his cock right next to me? I peek from my peripheral and see him gripping his cock and stroking slowly. I hear him groan louder this time, as I can make out him pulling out his balls from his bottoms to sit ontop, and it takes everything within me to not tear him to shreds right there.

I grip my pen tightly, as I resist the urge to react. He reachs up to his chest and grips one of his tiny nipples, and he whimpers. He fucking whimpers. His hands carress his cock and move up and down faster.

I can't take it anymore. I turn and face him to watch as he throws his head back from the increased pressure from his hand. His eyes are closed tightly as his breath becomes more and ragged, indicating how close he truly is. I just have to do something.

I silently get up and stride over to the chair. I thank God we have carpets, as they're far quieter than the wood. His cock bobs up and down tauntingly as his balls draw tightly. His strong jawline is all I see as I get on my knees before him, but as I kneel, I feel just how wet my cunt is between my legs. I'll take care of him first, and then I'll see about myself.

As he loses himself in his own body from the mixture of pleasure from pinching his nipple and fondling his cock, I grab his wrist hard and pull it away. He looks down in shock: both from the sudden and distinct lack of pleasure, and how silent I was getting over here.

"Oh, hey sweet thing. When'd you get down there," He smiles drunkenly at me as he realizes what I'm doing.

"Shut up and cum in my mouth, please." I ask, no, beg him.

"I think I can make that happen, " He winks at me, and at this confirmation, I grab his cock with my hand and swiftly position my mouth over the tip. I lick the glob of pre-cum that had made it's way to his slit, and he stifled a sob. Once I licked it up, I lower my head down his dick and begin to bob my head fast. His head throws back again as he wails out. I hear "Please, please, please," and "Yes, yes, yes". His moans sound like an orchestra.

I continue to pleasure him, and I go to gently grab one of his balls. I begin to massage the sac, and at that, he reachs down and grips my hair. His hand rests firmly, but not painfully, on my scalp. That's one thing about him I loved. He was always careful to not hurt me. His hips begin thrusting up, but he manages to control his hips and do phantom thrusts as to not choke me. I can tell he's close. He's so close.

I look up through my lashes, and I see his head is no longer resting on the back of the chair, but looking directly down at me. When I look up at him, we make eye contact and that seems all it took to send him over the edge. His hips thrust into my mouth aimlessly as his grip on my hair tightens. His head throws back and he wails out a "Love you so fuckin' much, swee-" But he gets interrupted, as my head bobs all the way down into his wirey pubic hair, and I swallow. He shouts as his cum shoots deep into my throat. I pull up slightly as his streams of cum become progressively less forceful. I pull away when his breathe evens out, but one last string of cum shoots out and hits me on my cheek.

"W-woah." He whispers simply.

"Don't distract me, and this won't happen." I wink at him, and I go to stand up, but he quickly grabs my arms to pull me into his lap. He winces when my wet cunt brushes up against his oversensitive cock. He powers through and leans up to my ear.

"Oh, you didn't think we were done here, did you? Your dickhead boss can wait an extra day. You won't get off my lap until you've cum at least 3 times, sweet thing," He whispers evily in my ear. I shudder and flush at the nickname, but he smiles.

"God, I love you so fucking much." He declares, as he leans in to kiss me.

I wasn't able to say it back, but he definitely knows. I make sure he does.

@theteabush for you!!! <3 pls reblog if you like!!

[a-french-coconut]

Drew Tanaka (part 1)

I've already posted some extracts but I wanted to keep writing the fic here (:

A first punch leaves the mirror shattered and her fist bloodied.

There’s a traitor. 

An another one sends flying all the beauty products standing on the shelves of Cabin 10’s bathroom. 

“-Oh my gods, honey, are you crying ? What happened ? 

-Charlie is— oh Drew I… it’s all my fault but he told me he—

-Silena, what happened to Beckendorf ? 

-HE’S DEAD DREW ! He… he blew himself up to sabotage Luke’s armies because someone told him they were coming ! Oh no, hum, forget I said anything sweetheart, okay ? The counsellors are supposed to keep it secret ‘cause we wouldn’t want to cause a panic right ? Hey, Drew ? Are you listening to me ? You can’t tell anyone about this you hear me ?” 

A third punch lands on the wall, bruising severely Drew’s knuckles but the pain is better than what’s she’s been feeling since Silena slipped up. 

There’s a traitor, there’s a fucking traitor who wants them all dead, they killed Beckendorf, they probably killed Lee and Castor and they will kill everyone else if Drew doesn’t find who it is. 

There’s a scorching inferno in her heart. She never suspected she could hate someone she doesn’t know with such passion (oh buy you know them don’t you ? Odds are the traitor already talked with you, laughed with you, trained with you.).

Before she can break her hand landing a fourth punch, someone knock on the door and ask if everything is all right. 

“No” she wants to snarl back, “we are all going to die because of some heartless monster !” 

Instead she just responds with a sharp “everything’s fine, coming out is a few minutes. Can’t a girl finish her makeup in peace for gods’ sake ?”. She hears an offended huff and she knows she’s alone again. 

No matter what other people think, Drew Tanaka is nor heartless nor a bitch. She might lack some basic empathy skills but last time she checks, she’s not responsible for everyone’s feelings just because she’s the daughter of the goddess of Love. Plus, Silena is empathic enough for the both of them. Except that she’s been a mess of tears and chocolate for the last two days and just like that, pure white-hot rage burns from her heart to her veins, a firestorm blazing in her blood and igniting her whole body aflame. 

Drew cares about Silena. She’s the one who welcomed her with a warm smile and chocolate gifted by her father. She’s the one laughed with as she told her stories about Sasha and the one who held her after she saw his headless body on the ground during the Battle of the Labyrinth. She’s the one she yelled at for thinking herself above the Rite of Passage and continuing dating Charles Beckendorf when Drew had to break the heart of his best friend only for him to die two weeks later. Silena is the sister Drew loves and adores, all resentment and bitterness melted away by those blue eyes and kind smile. That means that the bastard who got her boyfriend’s sister killed is going to pay for what he did. 

For Drew is the daughter of Aphrodite Areia, the warlike goddess. 

Every monster and demigod who dare venture in the Midtown Tunnel is shot down by Drew and her siblings. Her arms ache from stringing her bow far too many times and the occasional stab for those getting a little too closer. Love is as compassionate as it is merciless and Drew has no qualms in slitting an enemy’s throat (they will join the other ghosts in her nightmares), not when she hears Silena’s mourning cries in her ears. She wonders where her older sister is right now. The girl disappeared hours ago, going back to Camp to convince Clarisse to come fight with them. She’s sure her sister managed to convince her, the stubborn daughter of war loves Silena as much as she does. She is proven right when she hears whispers of the girl warrior dragging a drakon behind her (she does not know of the blue-eyed girl whose face has been deformed by acid, a silver charm bracelet found on her arm).

The moon slowly bows to the sun as she disappears and the sky turns a bright summer blue. The fight is over for now, the only moment of peace found in death because no one would dare attack when each side recovers their friends and siblings’ corpses from the battleground (not when they could be the next body lying on the ground), ensuring them proper funeral rites. 

part 2 posted !

[analogwriting]

The Other Side of Paradise

Chapter 7: It's All So Incredibly Loud

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3k first a/n: oh my god im so sorry that i just disappeared. summer is just a really hard time of year for me. between business picking up at the store and just having a lot of personal things going on, it's been a lot and i haven't had motivation. things should slow down and hopefully i can post more. im starting to be a bit more motivated, so that's also helpful. that being said, i haven't written all summer so please bear w me. >.< ALSO the various terms in the texts are just different terms of endearment.

Oh, this shit sucked.

Being without Killer; it was worse than you could’ve imagined. Yes, you knew it was going to be hard, but not this hard. Even with him calling every night and talking to you until you fell asleep, you never could sleep long, or well. 

He slept with you every night since forever, now that he wasn’t here…it was so obvious something was missing. Everything felt cold and way too spacious; he was large and radiated heat so his absence was more than noticeable. You spend your nights tossing and turning all over, getting all tangled in your sheets before eventually falling off the bed.

On the rare occasions you did get sleep, you realized how spoiled you had been with your wake up routine. Killer would come in and shower you with light kisses, waking you up gently and slowly with the aroma of food not far from him. He was always the first one awake, so he always made sure you were taken care of before you went off to classes.

Most mornings now, you’d roll out of bed last minute, grab something to snack on - if anything at all - and head out the door. If Killer was here, he’d absolutely scold you for your shit eating habits.

You also made sure that your schedule was packed. You hated having a moment to yourself because you just thought about how much you missed everyone. You stacked up your classes, worked extra shifts, hung out with your friends until the wee hours of the morning. Anything and everything you could to exhaust yourself. It was easier to fall asleep if you physically couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore, right? Besides, Killer usually wasn’t available until late at night anyway.

However, contact began to slow down and shorten. Killer tried calling every night, and he did for a while. He called late at night, you two would talk about your days and eventually you’d fall asleep on the phone together. It went like this for a long time. Hours of talking about every little thing and thought the two of you had throughout the day turned to brief conversations. “Hey, I just had to hear your voice, but I can’t stay long.” Things like that.

The calls became more spaced out - every other day, every week, every other week, and then every month. They really just packed his schedule and he was so exhausted that he’d forget to call or not have the energy. Or he was worried about calling you too late - no matter how much you told him it didn’t matter how late it called, he still wouldn’t because he knew you needed sleep too. He knew that you were pushing yourself to the edge and exhausting yourself. He tried to protest this, but you kept reassuring him that you were perfectly fine much to his dismay.

Even his texting slowed; not that he was much of a texter to begin with. Just like the calls, the texts were almost constant, then a few a day, then one a day, so on and so forth. You continued texting him throughout the day, updating him on things and just keeping him in the loop - even if he wasn’t answering. Sometimes, it didn’t even seem that your messages were delivering, but you just assumed that was a glitch.

The group chat the lot of you had was lacking the band members. They all somewhat stopped being in contact with everyone. Which, in their defense, they were busy and that made sense, but it still sucked. Killer made sure to at least send a ‘good morning text’ every day, so there was at least that kind of comfort…for a while.

“Y/n.” 

You were currently staring at your phone, zoning out. You were staring at your texts between you and Killer.

“Y/n.”

Killer hadn’t texted you that morning. He always made sure to at least text you ‘good morning.’ It was usually followed by a pet name or a nickname, but it hadn’t come. It usually came right as you were waking up but it was now afternoon and there was nothing.

“Y/N!”

You jumped as your best friend’s voice rang through, making you drop your phone and making it clatter along the table. “Huh?” You blinked, looking at Hop.

“You didn’t hear anything I said, did you?” Her face was deadpanned as she looked at you, clearly unamused. “What’s going on? Is it Killer?” She sighed, rolling her eyes slightly. You knew she was annoyed with all of it. Which, you didn’t blame her. She was patient for the most part through all of this and you had just ignored her.

You sighed, picking your phone back up and nodded. “He hasn’t texted me.”

“Didn’t you say he wasn’t really texting you as much?”

“Yeah, but he always sent a good morning text, you know? And I didn’t get this one this morning, so I’m worried. What if something happened?” You frowned deeply, staring at your phone. What if they were in some kind of accident? You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if anything happened to any of them.

“Have you tried texting your cousin?”

“Yes, but it’s the same. Nothing.” All four of them were unresponsive.

A sigh came from Hop. It’d been months at this point since they left. She, like you, thought it would slowly become easier as time went on, but it didn’t. It felt like things were getting harder. For a moment, things were fine. When Killer was still texting and calling regularly, everything was fine. You were coping well. As he responded less and less, the more desperate you became. It was like slowly weaning yourself off of some kind of drug.

“You should move in with us.” Hop's voice suddenly chimed.

You blinked, looking at Hop. “Huh?”

“You should move in with Dive, Bubblegum, and I. We have that extra room you’ve been crashing in.” That was the other thing, whenever you hung out with them, you crashed in their spare bedroom.

You paused for a moment, mulling it over for a moment. 

“C’mon, y/n. You are all alone in that big house. I know it’s the house you grew up in and your mother left it to you, but I also don’t think she’d want you to rot away in it. A permanent change of scenery would do you good. Get you out of your wallowing mood.” 

You let out a long sigh, thinking about it. She was right. You were all alone in this large house. It was full of old memories that somewhat hurt. Sure, you used it as a large hangout spot and it was still used, but Hop’s house was now used as the same. They moved into their house more recently and your friend group now gravitated between yours and their house. It wouldn’t make too much of an impact to switch to the one. 

All the memories in your house though, could you really let them go? All the parties, all the firsts, all the little domestic moments, all the tears, happiness, anger - could you let it go? You weren’t quite sure. You might be able to move, but could you get rid of things and sell the place? That was the part you were most unsure about.

“I know I kind of just sprung it on you and it’s not exactly an easy decision to make. So, how about you think about it? The offer doesn’t expire, so just take your time.” She placed a hand on your shoulder and smiled at you. You nodded slowly, sighing.

“It’s probably a good idea, but I just can’t let the house go. All those memories I just-”

“Hey, like I said. Offer always stands. Besides, you can crash at ours whenever. You don’t necessarily have to sell your house either. We can still use it as the hang out spot, if you want.” 

You looked at her, smiling and almost tearing up. You don’t know what you did to deserve her, but you were forever grateful for her. Grateful for all of your friends, honestly. They’d all been so supportive and trying to help make sure you were taking care of yourself on top of you overstacking your schedule.

“What’s going on here?” Bubblegum plopped on the bench across from the two of you. 

“I invited them to move in with us.” Hop shrugged, letting go of you.

Bubblegum grinned, clearly this was something they had already discussed. “Well, you pretty much do anyway. Prefer you with us rather than by yourself.” You let out another long sigh. You knew you were worrying them. With your wall to wall scheduling and overall not taking care of yourself, they were constantly making sure you were okay. You felt awful.

“Just remember, Killer said he’d be back. So, he’ll be back. He’s just busy - it’s not the end of the world.” Hop looked at you then at your phone.

You set it down, sighing. She was right. You needed to remind yourself you were more than him. As much as you missed him with every fiber of your being, working yourself to death wasn’t going to help anyone. You just needed a little pep talk to remind you. You needed to detox.

“What if we went to the movies tonight?” You looked at them. Might as well start trying to live a little now. It wasn’t helping anyone just running yourself into the ground.

“I thought you were picking up a shift?”

You shook your head. “Not gonna. I need to make time for me. It’s not helping anyone being glued to my phone or overworking and stressing myself, and everyone else out, in the process.” Starting now, you were going to turn over a new leaf. Time wasn’t passing any faster working all day everyday so might as well have fun.

 The two of them grinned widely. “Oh hell yeah. What about that new horror movie we’ve been wanting to see?”

You nodded, your mind racing. You still wanted to keep busy, yes, but you could also enjoy that time as well. You didn’t have to constantly be working, you could also take time for you. Sure, your mind would drift, but it was okay to just think. You were just avoiding everything when really you needed to think about those things. Handle those emotions.

You looked at your phone, jumping up. “Oh shit, I’m late to class!” You bolted down the sidewalk, waving to your friends and shouting to them that you’d see them later.

--

Life started slowing down a little. You did eventually hear from Killer. He had ended up calling a couple of days later, apologizing for not being able to text you. His phone had been acting weird, not sending his texts or receiving any, so he ended up getting a new one. It was odd because apparently the same happened to everyone else’s. You assumed maybe some intern spilled water on a table and it got their phones, fucking them all up at once.

However, things didn’t exactly return to normal. You were wondering if his phone was still giving him trouble. Maybe it was your own phone? Though, when you took it in, they said nothing was wrong with it. You even went ahead and bought a whole new phone just in case…

You hadn’t heard from him in a week at this point, but you were keeping busy. Not overkill like you had been, but focusing on other things. You had decided to move in with your friends, taking the basics of what you needed and deciding the box up the rest of the house. You weren’t going to sell it off quite yet, you were still unsure about that part, but you were going to start going through everything - that was already going to take a loong time. You were sure there were some things you could throw out and get rid of; old clothes that didn’t fit anyone, dishes that were never used, etc.

“Y/n!” You were interrupted by your thoughts as you heard Dive’s voice ring through the house. 

“Upstairs!” You were currently going through things in your cousin’s room. You were boxing most things, throwing out trash, broken things, putting clothes you knew that didn’t fit him in the donate pile. It was kind of nice cleaning up -  refreshing. 

You heard Dive run up the stairs and into the room. “Y/n. You need to pack.”

You blinked, looking over at her. Your eyebrows furrowed and you tilted your head to the side. “What for?”

“You, me, Hop, ‘Gum, and some other people are all gonna go to the beach. We all pitched in and rented an airbnb for a couple weeks. So, pack. We leave in an hour.” Then she headed back out without any other explanation nor context.

“Wait!” You ran after her. “I can’t just leave work!” Right now you were on winter break, so you didn’t have to worry about school.

“We already talked with them - they’re cool with it!” She didn’t even look back as she ran out of the house. You stood there, blinking in shock. Did they really talk to your work for you? Huh, they must’ve really wanted you to not have a decision in the matter. Well, you couldn’t argue with that.

“Well…I guess I don’t really have a choice.” You chuckled, heading back upstairs to pack.

--

Turns out it was the entire friend group that was going; sans the bandmates of course. Part of you hoped they’d make a surprise appearance, but you doubted it. Hell, none of them could bother to text any of you. You were honestly growing more and more annoyed by it all.

You tried not to think about it.

The airbnb that was rented was ginormous. It was a stunning beach house that you see in the movies. Just about everyone had their own room. You opted to share a room with Hop. As of late, when you were at their house you ended up sharing a bed with her anyway. You still struggled with sleeping alone and having someone in the bed with you made things easier - especially since your boyfriend wasn’t talking to you at all. 

You knew he was busy, but you couldn’t help it. It somewhat annoyed you, especially after he called you apologizing for his phone breaking only for him to ignore you. For all of them to do it too? No one had heard from any of them recently. No texts, no funny videos on various apps, nothing. 

The only thing you heard was whatever the lot of you saw on the news. Which, lately, wasn’t much either. They went silent. You assumed they were preparing for something big. That's the only thing you could think of that would keep them from talking to any of you.

The beach and this trip was exactly what you needed. A change of scenery, the salty breeze, roads shimmering and wiggling in your vision because of the heat, your friends; it couldn’t get better than this. It also helped take your mind off of things surprisingly enough. Sure, your mind was always racing, but it was a little better this week.

You spent the days shopping, hanging out on the beach, eating local food, just enjoying life. You hardly checked your phone. It was used as a camera and nothing else, not like Killer bothered texting you. Or any of the others. Everyone tried texting them at one point, but no one got an answer, so you all just collectively gave up. 

To be honest, you were so caught up in having a good time with everyone that you didn’t find yourself thinking about it too much, just late at night. You were in a good mood - surrounded by those you loved and loved you, doing endless fun activities. It’s just what you needed. A break. A reward for working so hard and getting through all of this.

You almost didn’t want it to end. Sure, it would’ve been better if your boyfriend and everyone else was here, but it just didn’t work out like that. You weren’t going to let it damper your mood too much. It nagged at the back of your mind, a weird feeling at the pit of your stomach. You just assumed you were being dramatic.

“Compo! Where are those hot dogs!” You hollered from the kitchen. You were in the middle of preparing dinner for everyone. The classic hamburger and hot dog assembly station. Everyone was about the house, doing their own things. Cleaning up from a long day, on the deck enjoying the cool evening ocean breeze, playing music, watching tv, just about anything and everything.

It was a bit chaotic, but it was expected from your friend group.

“Holy shit.” 

“What the fuck?” 

There was a commotion coming from the living area. Something crashed to the floor, there was a couple gasps.

“Should we get them?”

“I don’t know…it might break them…”

What were they talking about? Were they talking about you? Was Killer on the news?

You walked into the living room. “What’s going-”  and immediately froze as your eyes fell upon the television. Your eyes ballooning, tears filling them instantly. You’re in shock, unable to process what you were looking at. There was no way this was happening. It didn’t make sense.

Everything fell silent, an eye of the storm. Whispers could deafen you in this moment, so no one dared even breathe as they watched you in horror. Water from your broken iris fell towards the floor; everyone waiting, shaking slightly as it dropped. You slowly felt yourself breaking down. You were silent, but your heartbreak was loud enough to rattle the world. You can’t fight it - you can’t breathe.

Before you, on the television, was a live feed of your boyfriend, cousin, and friends. They all looked worse for wear. Like they’d been going through it. Dabbling in things they shouldn’t, but that’s not what stopped your heart. No. That would’ve been so much better to deal with. So much easier. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what you were watching.

Your boyfriend on screen, surrounded by scantily dressed women hanging off of him and he was locking lips with one of them.