#Nothing wrong with the man I just. Don't have the budget to pay for his flight and hotel LMAO.

[poptimus-prime]

I think I should live in a world where I can send an email to Optimus Prime to ask if he or any of his coworkers would like to come to my school to speak to the children about their careers.

How about that huh.

[readyforthegarden]

Season of the Witch - Part Five

Masterlist

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x F!Reader, Danny Wagner x F!Reader

Synopsis: Danny always told you, you shouldn't play with things you don't fully understand. When trying your hand at magic, you accidentally summon something more than you bargained for. Now stuck, you try to find a way to rid yourself of him, but what if the only way of ridding yourself of him is dying?

Warnings: mentions of witchcraft, angst, drinking, smut (fingering (f! receiving) grinding) 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!

WC: 4930

“Ohh fawwwnn,” Sam’s sing-song voice echoed through the apartment, and you did everything you could not to glance up as his footsteps approached your open bedroom door. You were sitting on your bed, a few bills spread out around you as you worked on your budget for the month, factoring in the extra electricity and water Sam was already using up. When he wasn’t bugging you about going out or your ‘hidden magical powers’, he was taking long showers, sometimes baths to while his time away.

The two of you had gotten into an argument the night before, to the point the lights began flickering in your apartment, telling him to leave you alone about the powers. You’d given in for a moment, once again attempting to light the burner on the stove, Sam’s only guidance ‘try harder’. You stood in the kitchen with your hand stretched out towards the stove, feeling like an idiot for too long. He had gestured to the room and the lights when you were finally letting out your frustration, citing it was even more reason for you to try more. In return you stomped to your bedroom, slamming the door shut. 

Your fingers continued typing in your haphazardly organized spreadsheet as Sam tossed himself on the foot of the bed, scattering your papers. If this was his attempt at a truce, he was starting off on the wrong foot. 

“Sam!” he smiled at you, batting his eyes. His light cotton shirt was only half buttoned, and exposed his tanned chest, a small tangle of thin necklaces resting there. “Just because you can magically produce farm fresh vegetables, doesn’t mean some of us don’t have bills to pay.” The man in front of you faked a pout.

“I have a proposition for you.”

“No.”

“You didn’t even hear what I have to offer!” you glanced up at Sam finally. 

“I’m already bonded to you, what more could you want?” you rolled your eyes sarcastically, ignoring the way his eyes flicked up and down your body.

“You make a good point.” he chuckled. “Although there are more bonded things we could be doing that would make it more enjoyable.” his gaze was almost sultry now and you glared over your laptop at him. “However, I feel like I’ve done more than enough to earn some trust, don’t you?”

“Well you haven’t murdered me in my sleep, so I guess there’s a little kernel of trust somewhere.” you sighed, closing your laptop and giving Sam your attention. 

“I want to try something,” Sam reached out, moving your laptop to the empty side of the bed before sitting up. His knees touched yours as he folded them underneath himself. “Hold out your hand.” you eyed him cautiously, reaching out and placing your palm in his. He smiled down at the connection, his fingers grazing your skin as he took it and flipped your hand so the palm was upright. 

Sam stared at your palm, his eyes tracing the lines that had embedded in them over time. His gaze made your skin prickle, your fingers beginning to twitch the longer he studied. 

“Are you going to tell my fortune or something?” you half-joked, looking up at him. Sam’s eyes never moved from your hand, he only shushed you softly. The prickling sensation in your palm grew stronger, warmer. “Sam,”

“Concentrate on the feeling,” he murmured. Your furrowed your brow. There was nothing else to concentrate on as the prickling turned to a stinging burn, making you grit your teeth and hiss. It felt like fire was crawling through your veins, under your skin. You wanted to claw at your hand to free it, release yourself from this. It was worse than any burn you had experienced at the cafe, from curling irons, anything.

“Sam, please! It’s burning!!”

“Focus on it, let it out,” Sam’s eyes finally looked into yours, the deep brown of his irises glimmering. You were panting, an intense amount of pressure in your hand. A grimace was spread across your pained face, your eyes squeezing close. It was becoming unbearable, tears were stinging your eyes, a high pitched whine of pain emitted from your throat and you were just about to scream, shriek, anything that could make it stop.

And then it was gone.

Your eyes opened slowly, the first vision to greet you was Sam’s grinning face. You looked at him questioningly. As your eyes traveled his face, you noticed the light against it flicker…and flicker again. Following his gaze, you looked down into your hand, an open flame resting in it. Without wood, it cracked and popped, being fed by some invisible force.  There was no pain, no tingling in your hand any longer, and you gazed back up to Sam. 

“How?”

“I had an inkling the reason you didn’t think you had any real power was because you didn’t believe it. Couldn’t feel it.” Sam murmured, taking his hand out from under yours and gasping at the flame in your hand, splitting it and now holding one in his own palm. Sam made a show of moving it around, quickly then slowly, but the flame refused to extinguish. 

“You made me feel like that?”

“Only a little.” Sam shrugged. “The initial tingling, yes, the rest was your power coming to the surface. You had it buried deep down.” he chuckled to himself before resting the fire he took from you back in your palm, then closed his hand over it, extinguishing the flame altogether. “I want you to let me teach you how to use it. The flame is just the beginning.”

“I-” you stopped yourself, feeling his thumb gently rubbing across the back of your hand. His touch was different than earlier. The tingles were back, but this time they weren’t due to the magic. Or, at least, you didn’t think so. “I don’t know that I want to do this.” Sam’s hand squeezed yours gently.

“Please,” Sam’s voice, for maybe the first time since you’d met him, was sincere, and soft. “This is my proposition. If you’re going to break the bond, at least let me make sure I leave you with something to remember me with.” it was the sad, almost puppy-like look he gave you that made you nod.

“Will it hurt like that every time?” you questioned, and Sam shook his head. 

“No, it won’t.” he gave you a soft smile, reaching out and wiping a stray tear from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Maybe a few tingles still, but it won’t hurt.” He moved his legs, stretching them out and scooting to the side of the bed. Standing up, he tugged your arms and made you get up off the bed. “Now, let’s get to our first lesson.”

The next few days went like that. When you weren’t working, sleeping or getting updates from Danny, Sam was teaching you how to use your newfound skill. It was no wonder that Sam made sure you were fed, the energy practicing the little magic you could conjure took from you, you’d never felt a drain like that before. Wolfing down any meal he made, you stopped being surprised when he presented a second plate or bowl for you once the first one was done, and you happily accepted it.

The text Danny had left for turned out to be far more complicated than what had been let on, and it was taking him a while to decipher what exactly needed to be done to break the bond. You talked to him nightly, as you got comfortable in bed, listening to him tell stories of other things he’d found.

“I got you this tarot deck, I think you’ll really like it.” you could hear Danny’s smile through the phone. “You’ve been bugging me for ages to teach you.” it took everything you had to hold back the irritated sigh at the idea of someone trying to teach you something to do with magic again. 

“That sounds great,” you still smiled back, the phone to your ear as you snuggled into your pillow. “I hope the cards tell me I’m going to be rich and famous one day.”

“Well, it doesn’t really work like that,” Danny chuckled. “How is everything going?” the question was loaded, if only half. You knew he genuinely cared about your well-being, but most of his intention was to make sure Sam was behaving himself. You hadn’t told Danny about the small flame in the diner, or about the flame that Sam helped you unleash. Danny’s opinion of Sam wasn’t exactly favorable, and if he thought Sam was up to something, he would stop his research and come straight home. 

“It’s fine. He’s fine.” you yawned. “Complaining about the couch being lumpy, but what else is new?”

“Hate to say it, but your couch is pretty lumpy.” you laughed through another yawn. “You sound tired.”

“I am,” you rubbed your eye. “It’s pretty late here.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Danny murmured. “I hope to come home in a few days. I really think we’re almost done translating the spell. I miss you…”

“I miss you too, Danny,” he could tell you were falling asleep, your words a bit more mumbled than before.

“Go to sleep, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” you said goodnight to Danny and hung up, rolling over and passing out into your pillow, dreaming of bonfires and smoldering embers.

“Fawn, I’m so bored,” Sam whined from his end of the couch. You looked up from the book you were reading, glancing over to him. “I haven’t left this place in days, I’m going crazy!”

“And what do you want to do?” you asked, placing the scrap piece of junk mail you were using as a bookmark in between the pages to save your place. It was true, since his solo trip to visit you at work, you made him promise to stay home, not wanting to risk him getting in trouble or up to no good.

“I want to go out,” Sam stood, putting his hands on his hips. “I want to go out and have fun.” you set your book down on the coffee table and before you knew it, he had taken your hand and tugged you up onto your feet. Your body was close to his, and he kept your hand in his, an arm around your waist, swaying your bodies back and forth in a short motion. “I want to drink and enjoy a night of revelry and debauchery.”

“Sam,” you tried to move away, but he kept you in front of him. “There aren’t many places around here that specialize in debauchery.” Sam smiled, turning you around and waltzing you back towards the hallway to your bathroom. 

“Oh, I think there’s one or two places in this city,” Sam winked at you.  “Get changed, I’ll be waiting.” Sam spun you out, and let you go, patting your bottom lightly as he sent you on your way.  You glared at him over your shoulder before going to your room, shutting the door and staring at your closet. It had been a very long time since you’d been out for a night like the one Sam was requesting. You weren’t sure that any of your clothes from that time of your life still fit. 

Your heels clacked on the hardwood as you stepped out of your room, the black camisole dress you’d found in your closet coming to your mid-thigh. The bracelets on your left wrists jangled as you made sure they were fastened properly before looking up, seeing Sam in the living room. He was in the red suit he’d made his first appearance in, the body chain fastened around his body underneath the suit jacket. You noticed now that rhinestones adorned the sleeves and pants of his suit, watching them catch the light. 

“You look stunning, fawn,” Sam gave you an up and down, allowing a soft smirk to grace his lips. “Perhaps I should be calling you a fox?”

“Perhaps you should get some liquor in me before you try that.” you chuckled, grabbing your bag and taking your wallet out. You handed Sam your cards, which he tucked into the pocket inside his suit jacket. He led you to the door, and to a car that was waiting. He opened the car door, letting you in and making sure you were situated before closing it and going around to the other side. 

The car ride into the city was quiet, Sam was restless, bouncing his knee anxiously as he watched out the window. You watched him out of the corner of your eye, waiting to see where he was taking you. The car stopped in the downtown area, in front of a nightclub you knew all too well. The Forbidden Fruit was a place you used to find yourself before you started dating your ex-fiance. It was in fact, where you met your ex, and then proceeded to spend nights dancing away with him. 

If Sam saw your hesitancy, he declined to say. You barely registered him leaving the car until he was opening your door for you, holding out a hand to help you out of your seat. He kept your hand in his as he led you into the club, bypassing the line of people waiting to get in. The bouncer didn’t blink twice as Sam nodded to him and pulled you behind, leaving you amazed. Sam wove the two of you between bodies seamlessly, until you were close to the bar and dance floor.

“You go have fun,” you spoke loudly over the thumping music. Sam furrowed his brows at you. “I’m not much of a dancer,” you took a seat on the stool in front of the bar, signaling the bartender. Sam looked around at the other patrons sitting at the bar before nodding, almost defeatedly. “You know where to find me when you need a break.” With that, Sam disappeared into the crowd of dancers, finding a home amongst the gyrating bodies. 

Once you had your drink, you sipped it, starting to people-watch. Your eyes landed on a couple who were obviously on a first date. The man looked incredibly nervous, wiping sweaty palms on the front of his dark pants, while the girl batted her eyelashes at him, twirling the straw in her drink. You watched them off and on, keeping an eye on the crowd to find Sam before going back to them. At one point, the girl convinced the man to dance, and he wiped his palms more vigorously before letting her take one and drag him out to the dance floor. 

You had to turn around, the man began flailing and you couldn’t, in good conscience, laugh at him. Your moves weren’t any better, and you were glad your date for the night hadn’t pushed you. As you spun back towards the bar, your eyes caught a familiar head of blond hair in the crowd. Your ex was there, at the other end of the bar, ordering a drink. A pit formed in your stomach, fire heating your cheeks. You hadn’t expected to see them, not here, not tonight. 

You faced forward, setting your glass on the small napkin, trying to blend into the scenery. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see someone approach them, and when you chanced a glance, he leaned down and kissed her, the girl from the photos that replaced you all over his socials. Your chest tightened, and you wished the floor would open up and drop you straight to hell. There was an overwhelming sense of your dress being too tight all of the sudden, necklace too short around your throat, everything was becoming too much.

A hand on your lower back snapped you back to reality, and you turned your head, away from your ex to see Sam close, looking down at you. His other hand reached out, downing your drink in a single gulp. Sam’s eyes flicked across the bar and back to you. Clearing his throat as he set the now empty glass down, he spoke.

“I think it’s time for you to come dance with me,” it wasn’t a request, and you found yourself sliding off the barstool, and following him to the dance floor. He took little time in turning you around, pressing his front to your back, and holding you there, moving your body with his. One of his large hands rested flat on your stomach, his other down on your thigh. The side of his pinky finger grazed the hem of your dress as he moved your bodies to the rhythm. You found one of your arms reaching up and behind you, coming to rest on his neck as your eyes closed.

Sam’s breath was warm on your skin as he leaned his face forward. You felt the drag of the tip of his nose in the hair just behind your ear, a deep inhale puffing out his chest, pressing the metal of his harness into your back. His lips were on the shell of your ear, his facial hair tickling your skin. Your hips were gyrating against Sam’s, slowly, sensually. His fingers flexed against your body in response. 

You couldn’t hear the music in the club anymore, the only thing you could hear was your heartbeat, matching Sam’s through your back. No one else existed on this dance floor but the two of you, nothing else mattered but his body on yours, his hands on you. His pinky finger slid under the hem of your skirt, the pad of it gently rubbing the skin there. His palm was as subtly raising your skirt, his ring finger joining his pinky on the flesh of your thigh. A soft sigh fell from your lips and you felt Sam smirk into your hair. 

“We’ve positively made him jealous, fawn,” he murmured into your ear, pressing a barely-there kiss to your lobe. Your eyes opened, your lids feeling heavy. Across the room, your ex was glaring at you. No, not you, over your shoulder at Sam, whose lips were still ghosting across the skin of your neck. His hand on your stomach pressed you into him further, as if there was space between you to fill. A soft nip of his teeth where your neck and shoulder met sent a jolt through you and in a flash his mouth was at your ear again. “I’ve had enough fun here, let’s leave.”

You let Sam lead you from the dance floor, towards the exit and right past your ex. A shock of confidence and pettiness made you hope the traces of your perfume that wafted behind you made him feel sick. 

A car had already been stopped outside, and you briefly wondered if he had conjured the ride-share, but slid into the backseat nonetheless, letting him shut the door and walk around to the other side. The short ride home, Sam sat extremely close to you, one of his large, warm, hands resting on your knee. You didn’t push it away as you normally would have, still feeling heady from the dance you shared. It wasn’t until you were taking the stairs up to your apartment that you began to shake out of the feeling, the seduction of the music and lighting long gone. 

Sam’s eyes watched you as slipped out of your heels, and placed them on the small shoe pile by the door, excusing yourself to your bathroom. Taking the opportunity while you washed your makeup off, you splashed some cold water on your face. Changing into your pajamas, you brushed your teeth and finished your skincare, opening the door and turning it to close it behind you. When you faced forward, Sam was there, still in his club attire, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Sam?” your voice cracked, making Sam’s smirk grow wider. He stepped closer and you stepped back, bumping into the bathroom door handle.

“How did you feel tonight, fawn?” he asked softly. “On the dance floor?” your cheeks flushed with the memory of grinding your hips against his less than an hour ago. “You seemed downright tempted by my touch.”

You were backed against the door of your bathroom now, as Sam leaned forward. He inhaled softly, almost relishing the audible, soft gulp you couldn’t hold back.

“Tell me, do you find me tempting, little fawn?” you kept your breathing as steady as possible. Of course you were tempted by him. Everything he did made you want him in some way. Watching your reaction, he smiled. “If I offered you an apple, would you take a bite?” Sam conjured an apple into the palm of his hand, holding it mere centimeters from your lips. Your mouth watered at the idea of sinking your teeth into the soft red skin, the sweet juice seeping onto your tongue. You could almost taste it as you stared at it. 

“No,” you replied softly, knowing well and good it was a lie. By the bemused look on Sam’s face, he knew too, keeping eye contact as he turned the apple in his hand and raised it to his own lips, taking a crisp bite. The spray of it fell upon your face, and suddenly you wished you had taken that bite. Sam’s lips made a soft sucking sound, making sure no juices escaped his lips. Pulling the fruit away, he smirked as he chewed. 

“You look flushed, darling.” he murmured, backing away. “You should get some rest. If you need me, I’ll be on the couch.” you were frozen in place against the door as he sauntered back towards the living room, the sound of another crunch into the apple echoing behind him.

Moving quickly, you scurried to your room, shutting the door embarrassingly loud. You ignored the chuckle you heard from the living room, and moved to your bed, crawling under the covers. Your phone bounced in the air slightly as you fluffed the covers and you picked it up, seeing a notification from Danny.

‘I think we have a really solid lead on something, I’ll call you soon once I know more. Keep your chin up for me, k?’

Sighing, you heart-reacted to the message, setting the phone down on your nightstand, plugging it into the charger. A strange, unsettled feeling spread through your body, leaving you shifting uncomfortably in your bed. For the first time since the incident happened, you felt…almost sad that Sam would be gone. You thought of him, probably lounging on the couch, finishing that apple and drifting off to sleep without a care in the world. 

Tonight had been so different. When he touched you in the club, you wanted more. His fingers had been slowly, achingly, making their way to the apex of your thighs, and you surprised yourself as the thought flashed in your mind that you may have let him take you there in front of the mass of bodies, pressed back against his body. His touch was intoxicating, you couldn’t blame it on the one drink you’d had. 

You tossed and turned most of the night, feeling restless, sleep never fully finding you. You couldn’t stop thinking about Sam on the dance floor.  Something urged you out of bed, your bare feet hitting the cool wood beneath your bed and you padded to the door. Throwing it open like you were on a mission, you only made it a few steps before Sam was in the entrance to the hallway, his pajamas disheveled, making his way to you. Your bodies collided, his lips on yours, your hands in his hair, pulling his face down and closer as you struggled to stay upright on your tiptoes. 

“Is this what you desire?” Sam’s breath was warm on your ear, his hands slowly gliding down your torso. “Are you craving my touch?” Your eyes were heavy, half-lidded as his fingers danced under the hem of your shirt, grazing your soft skin. The ghost of his lips slowly swept over your cheekbone, moving downward until they reached your lips. “Tell me.”

“Yes,” you breathed. “Sam, touch me.” his lips were on yours instantly, warm and plush. The hand that had trailed under your shirt was flat on your back, tucking you into his body as close as he could. His tongue slipped into your mouth, gently tasting you. You tasted cinnamon on his tongue, subconsciously pulling yourself closer to him, trying to taste more. You didn’t feel the motion of him carrying you to your bed, you hadn’t even realized he’d picked you up as the two of you continued kissing. Too focused on trying to find out if every corner of his mouth tasted like cinnamon, you gasped slightly when your back hit your mattress, bouncing softly between it and Sam’s body as he hovered over you.  

Sam’s lips parted from yours, trailing down your jaw and neck, sucking small marks onto the flesh of your throat. Everywhere his lips touched felt like fire, and you writhed beneath him, urging his hands to strip your clothes from your body. Any rush Sam had been in had left his body, the path his hands were traveling down to your cotton shorts, torturously slow. Instead of dipping into the waistband, he gripped the hem of your shirt, gently pushing it up your body until it was under your neck, exposing your breasts. 

His lips traveled down the skin of your left breast, until his tongue met your nipple. Slowly, he let the tip circle the bud, humming to himself as your stomach buckled with a shaky breath. He distracted you perfectly, relishing in the surprised gasp you let out as his left hand snaked under the waistband of your shorts, and began rubbing you through your panties. One of your hands, came up, and threaded through the hair behind his ear, your fingertips softly rubbing his scalp. You could feel him smile into the skin of your breast, still gently lapping the nipple. Your hips raised themselves, begging for more friction. 

“Say it,” Sam’s breath was hot on your skin as he switched breasts, his dark eyes boring into yours. “Say what you want.” your cotton panties were soaked against his fingers, you squirmed to try and move them out of the way.

“I want you,” you panted, a soft whine in your voice. Without another second's hesitance, Sam’s long fingers dipped below the waistband of your panties, circling your clit a few times before slowly, achingly easing two into you. A moan left your mouth hanging open, an easy capture for Sam’s own lips. His kiss was rough, an urgency behind it as he swallowed your next moan, and the next one while his fingers pumped in and out of you.

“So sweet,” Sam murmured into your mouth. Sam let his body rest against yours, his hand between, and began moving his hips against your thigh, his clothed erection grinding against you. Feeling him rut against you for his own pleasure had you clenching around his fingers, the grip in his hair tightening. 

“Sam,” you whimpered, trying to jut your hips up, but you were pinned down by Sam’s body. “Sam, I wanna come.”

“Yeah?” Sam groaned in your ear. “You’re gonna come for me?” you nodded against the pillow, biting your lip as Sam’s pumping sped up. His free hand was by your head, supporting himself and gripping your pillow. “Let go, darling, give it to me.” The tension that had been building in your stomach broke, and you cried out, cresting your orgasm. Sam stopped his own movements, save for his hand and moved back, watching you writhe beneath him as you rode it out. 

Your heart was still beating hard as Sam pulled his hand from you, the snap of the waistband of your panties and shorts disappearing among the sound of your soft panting. Sam watched you, his eyes grazing over your body. You met his eyes and he grinned wolfishly, proudly that he put you in your current state. You watched with heavy-lidded eyes as he brought his hand up to his lips, the grin turning into a smirk as he slid his middle and forefinger between his lips. His eyes closed, a low, tantalizing hum rumbling from his chest as he tasted you. Sam savored you for what felt like forever, and then he opened his eyes again, smirking as he slid his fingers out of his mouth.

“I can’t wait to taste more of you, fawn.”

Your room was dark, your eyes frantically scanning around for the reason your heart was beating so fast.. Rolling onto your back, you sat up, feeling slick between your legs. Sam was nowhere to be seen, it had been a dream. You sighed, feeling the air cool the light sheen of sweat on your skin. You fought the feeling of being embarrassed, a wet dream you could handle, a wet dream about the man you conjured from a botched spell was an entirely different thing. 

You tiptoed to the door, listening to make sure Sam was asleep. After you were sure, you slipped down the hall into the bathroom and cleaned yourself up before dashing back to your bedroom, closing the door as softly as possible. You changed into fresh panties and bottoms and crawled back into bed, willing to have no more dreams for the night.

Taglist: (feel free to add yourself!)

@joshsindigostreak @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine @sammysprincess @sammykiszkamyass @belovedsamuel @sunfl0wer-power @indigo-starcatcher @sammyscherub @earthlysorrows @lvnterninthenight @losfacedevil @xserenax-13 @sarakay-gvf @myownparadise96 @watchingovergvff @gretavanfleetposts @josiee-gvf @joshkiszkatoothgap @madneedshelp @gardensgatedaisy @myownparadise96 @demonrat444 @dannyandthekiszkas @tearsofbri @paleshadow-ofadragon @happy-harpy-stuff @like-a-woman-in-a-dream @starshine-wagner @objectsinspvce @josh-iamyour-mama @mountain-in-springtime @cal-a-bungaa @capturethechaos @jankandjonch @gvfpal

@allybjt @hippievanfleet @weightofbrokenbells @joshkiszkasbadussy @malany-gvf @ruby0antlers @samofthedawn @sacredjake @aim4thedoublee @diditallforyouu @gvfmarge @highladyofasgard @sammysvanfeet@gold-mines-melting @earthgrlsreasy @mountain-in-springtime @forcebond301 @stardust-and-shadows @llightmyllovee @gretavangroupie @comesofarsomehow @infinisonicosm @indigofallingsky @hellowgoodbye @hearts-hunger @fwzco @dharma-divine33 @lightsofthe-living-gvf @ascendingtothestarsasone @klarxtr @ofthecaravel @musicspeaks @mindastreamofcolours @imleavingyoufornewyork @dammm1256 @jordie-gvf @demonrat444 @misshunnybee @valleydollgvf @brookes-so-done @age0fwagner @starcatcherxstevie @amethystars @jakesguitarsolo @lolidontknowwhat @lyndz2names @godly-sinsx @dannythedog @anthemheatwave @samomf @spark-my-nature @scorpiosunsammy @theindigostre4k @jjwasneverhere @couldbefalling

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Why: The Question Fans Love To Ask, But Don't Actually Care About

Imagine the following:

We're on the set of Today's Hot Period Drama. To say the atmosphere is tense is an understatement. This is the last possible day to shoot. After this the film absolutely has to go to the editors or the episode will not be ready to air next week. Yesterday, everything went wrong, so they're behind schedule. Really, really behind schedule. Today, everything has to go right and if it doesn't, oh well. It is what it is, and if that means it's the worst episode in the history of THPD, so be it.

The pressure, as they say, is on.

The director looks over the scene and makes absolutely certain that the furniture is in place, the lighting is suitable, and that the family's beloved dog shows no sign of getting up from his afternoon nap and interrupting the scene. Content that all is as it should be and with one last prayer that the respectable old canine is not hit by a burst of youthful enthusiasm, the director calls for the actors to take their places. From just off the set, there's the sound of footsteps, punctuated by a shuffling noise, a kind of hopping sound, an oath, a crash, and what can only be described as a dignified, masculine shriek of absolute agony.

Spinning around, the director finds the lead actor, Handsome McHottypants sprawled on the floor in a tangle of lighting wires, clutching his foot while his costar, Beauty Splendiferus, stands over him fussing in a horrified manner. At first glance, Handsome's ankle does not look like it should be bending that way. The second and third glance don't help matters. It is pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that the lead man has just broken something and will not be standing for…well, longer than really bares thinking about if you have to get a program out on a weekly schedule. Of course, in future episodes you can make something work. Come up with a canon reason for Lord Moneybags to be limping around with a walking stick or something. But this episode has to be done right now, no options!

What to do, what to do?

Of course in the Golden Age of Hollywood they'd have just chucked a couple of morphine tablets down the actor's throat and called it a day. But this is the 21st Century! You can't just get your lead actor high on illegal substances! You don't have the budget to pay off the police like that! Some over the counter ibuprofen will have to do. It's determined that with that Handsome McHottypants can grit his teeth and get his lines out (although it likely won't be his best performance), but he absolutely Can Not stand.

This isn't good. This is a well researched, accurate period drama! Men do not sit in the presence of a lady! But there's nothing for it. Three people help Handsome McHottypants over to the sofa - resulting in a heart stopping moment when Fido opens his eyes, raises his head, and looks like he might be considering getting up, but instead goes mercifully going back to sleep - and get him seated. The filming starts. Lady Bountyland walks in and, seeing Lord Moneybags seated on the sofa, graciously says "No, no need to get up", and on they go with the shoot. They finish the take and, despite a couple of minor issues, the director declares it a wrap. They have two other scenes to get done, due to yesterday's shit storm, and Handsome's ankle is not going to get better on its own. So, with a congratulations to Beauty for improvising the "No need to get up" line, the director rushes off to get ready for the next scene and everyone packs Handsome off to the hospital.

Then the episode is released.

The audience's reaction is immediate and uncompromising:

"Why is he sitting? No man in that era would sit in the presence of a lady."

"He's always stood before. LOL I guess the director just forgot about manners!"

"I thought this was supposed to be an accurate period drama!"

"This is a sure sign that THPD is going down hill."

The only break in the condemnation of the production team is from the people who think Lord Moneybags is useless scum and take the fact he couldn't be bothered to stand for Lady Bountyland as proof of his worthlessness as a human being.

Much later, when Handsome McHottypants reveals in an interview that the reason Lord Moneybags remained seated (and mysteriously broke his leg in a riding accident between episodes) was because he'd tripped on wires and broken his ankle in real life, the audience pauses in their stone casting to go "Oh no! Poor Mr McHottypants! That sounds so horrible!"

….and then go right back to pitching stones at the production team for their 'error'.

… …

I swear, this is what happens every time film viewers - be it TV or movies - see something that does not immediately make sense to them or seems out of character or anything. I mean, yes, errors are made in filming. Handcuffs that aren't actually latched come apart, but it's so hard to see on film that everyone misses the fact that - well - you can see it on film if you look hard enough. Costumes rip, but the rip is only visible for one frame, so the only people who ever see it are the people who go through everything frame by frame looking for subliminal messaging. The actor trips coming across the stage, but you're already past the wire and can't do another shoot, so you play it off as a charming bumble.

I once read about an incident where it came time to shoot an episode of a TV show and they didn't have a script. Seriously, everything the script writer had tried had failed the sounding board stage. The actors had to straight up improvise the entire episode. As you can imagine, the end result was apparently not great.

The point is, it doesn't matter if these things are accidents or not. Whether Lord Moneybags stays seated because Handsome McHottypants broke his ankle or because the production team wanted to show Lord Moneybags for the uncaring scumbag he is, huge quantities of the audience (except the Lord Moneybags haters) will respond the exact same way:

They will ask "why did that happen?" and rather than trying to come up with any sort of rational explanation, they will pull out their bag of stones and start throwing them, all the while declaring that the production team makes dog shit look like Albert Einstein.

And why? What do people get out of it?

It doesn't actually make them smarter than the production team. Someone breaking their ankle or having a prop bust or tripping isn't a matter of intelligence and attention to detail. And what if something was done on purpose? What if all the people yelling "Lord Moneybags is SCUM!" are right and that's why he doesn't stand up? Then you really aren't smarter than the production team - or the Moneybags antis, for that matter - because you missed the point.

"Why are the Happy Couple living in Cottage B when at the end of last season they were planning on moving into Cottage A? Guess the writers forgot where their characters were moving!" …or maybe something came up and they couldn't rent Cottage A this season.

"Why did they go through all of that effort to set introduce the Sweet Side Couple in the last episode if they weren't going to capitalize on it in the movie? That makes no sense!" …unless they hadn't known the movie was going to happen when they filmed the last episode and then couldn't get one of the actors back for the movie.

"Why did Character 1's bedroom go from that lovely blue-green combo from last season to that horrible purple and cream scheme? She's supposed to have good taste! Did they just forget that?" …more likely the person whose house they were renting as the set redid the wallpaper and the production team didn't have much say in the matter because HEY! Not their house!

There are very few dismissive "why" scenarios I've seen people come up with that I've not been able to immediately come up with at least three, very solid, potential real world reasons for, ranging from 'technical issues' to 'you missed the point'. Even when I can't come up with those, I don't assign the Epic Fail badge to the production team, because normally someone else comes along and gives me a solid real world reason for it. And yet even the people who acknowledge "Well, yeah, that's a pretty solid reason" have this nasty habit of following it up with "but you know that's not what happened."

WHAT? HOW DO I KNOW THAT? I'm not a mind reader! You're not a mind reader! Neither of us are part of the production team! The only way anyone knows what actually happened is if the writer or director or one of the actors or, heck, the key grip says in an interview "Yeah, this is what happened." Until that happens you're just as clueless as I am.

Assuming the worst of every perceived error does not make you superior. Judging the production team for not flawlessly correcting for every hitch does not make them incompetent, it just makes you intolerant. Proclaiming every point that doesn't make immediate sense to you to be a failure on the writer's part may just prove that you're unperceptive. Even if you happen to be right and people just screwed up, as a human being you screw up too.

What you do with that observation is, of course, up to you.

But think about it.

[dirtyoldmanhole]

so i've been low key pondering over what is it about gunter that twigged my 'dude, you are a freak nasty kinky fuck (solidarity 🤝)' radar from day one.

ergo, have an old school ~*krad does a character analysis essay*~

under the cut for kink talk and also sheer length !

introduction

why would I want to lead into this reading?

gunter is honestly, to me, an extremely cool subversion of his own FE archetypes on top of (imo) what types of characters are "allowed" to be kinky. a good chunk of FE characters, particularly jeigan archetypes tend to be one note about their devotion to their lords and/or country, and a little stuffy/uptight. when they do have a personality, they still tend to be pretty "safe" nurturing caretaker type of archetypes (eg, titania, and i say that loving her as a character).

of course, nothing wrong with liking said archetype; my tastes just happen to run differently.

gunter is explicitly both those things (could be read as uptight and a caretaker) and still, fascinatingly -- has his darker sides. you don't have a whole-ass ingame cgi and arc of going ham as the possessed yandere villain with a pretty consistent sexual undertone and still keep a ~purely wholesome~ reputation.

so what's the in-game canonical nods that started pinging the radar?

point one: i'm still not over the whip reference in his corrin supports

the tl;dr of his fcorrin C-A support is they pick up an old game of theirs since her northern fortress years -- playing catch with an old leather ball. it isn't until the A support that you hear gunter made the ball from a whip that garon handed to him to whip corrin as discipline.

this assumes several things: (1) gunter knows his way around whips (2) to the point of most likely whipping somebody in discipline before, otherwise why would garon be so convinced he'd follow through? and then

(3) nintendo why the fuck would you add something like this if you didn't intend on us reading some kind of vibe here LMAO. the fact that treehouse kept this line while "sanitizing" most other deeply horny fates scripts makes me inclined to think they knew they'd be breaking gunter's entire characterization if they'd tried to bowderize it, or they just didn't give a shit, thinking that they could probably get away with it since he's not niles-popular. (both can be true).

while it doesn't mean everyone with a passing interests in leather and whips is automatically some flavor of kinkster. just. speaking from IRL experience, the crossover between the groups is also a wee bit higher than the background population. either they tend to be a younger man looking to be "badass" like indiana jones, or their job involves some flavor of implement or ... yeah.

point two: mcorrin/fcorrin script differences & gunter harboring feelings for fcorrin (always has been.jpg)

additional script differences cost money. companies like nintendo hate spending money especially when there's a finite budget, and doubly so for non-popular characters.

so ime, when there's a clear difference between scripts in a non-obvious spot, and it's there in both the JP/EN versions like gunter's final revelation talk with mcorrin and fcorrin, i pay attention. that's nintendo more often than not underlining something and saying "hey, this matters to characterization".

cue this bit after you bring gunter back from the brink of being possessed and talking some sense into him:

Corrin: Whatever your motivations, you stayed by my side and helped me. Your intentions may have been dark, but you were still good to me. (If Corrin is male) Corrin: And that's what you'll always be—my friend. (If Corrin is female) Corrin: You'll always be important to me. Gunter: But, I... I killed Scarlet... Corrin: I know, but you were under the control of Anankos. You weren't you. If you truly wish to atone for what you've done, you must live. Live for Scarlet's sake. Live for the family that was taken from you. I need you to help me fight Anankos. To protect all the people he could still hurt. (If Corrin is male) Corrin: Let's go. Our final battle awaits. (If Corrin is female) Gunter: ... Corrin: Let's go. Our final battle awaits.

now obviously, with a literal "dot dot dot" line, you by definition have to read into the sentiment. one could just as easily argue that here....

.....

nope, i got nothing, lol. m!corrin gets a very pointed "you're my friend" line, and if nintendo wanted to dissuade from the romantic/sexual subtext, they could have awkwardly tried to stick to their more neutral "you're my mentor/father figure/etc" guns which read way more platonic, especially if you kept it the same for both.

that script change is only for f!corrin, and gunter has a few other script mentions where f!corrin gets something extra from him. this combined with f!corrin's particularly sexual-subtext-ladened support chain with the whip-ball (versus m!corrin's pretty platonic "feed the poor kid") vibe hints that he's always held a flame for f!corrin, which leads into asking some pretty interesting questions about his tastes.

it's some kinda vibes all right!

imma also be honest: (possessed!)gunter gets a little sexually subtextual in general. there's other revelation quotes like this during the confrontation --

Gunter: I would tear every last bit of innocence away from you.

(dude) (wow)

-- and the gothic horror camera angle/framing of certian scenes with him alone with corrin, most pointedly when corrin's alone with him, anankaos channels himself through gunter, the screen goes white, and corrin wakes up with him leaning right over her, practically on top of her. all of these add up to one hell of a sexual subtext in the last three chapters.

i could break this down further into shot by shot visual analysis since that's my field as a design manager, but this essay's long as is (and I'll cover this in the current revelation liveblog anyway).

point three: there's a suspicious amount of nohrian characters that have explicit kinks

there's xander with his JP crossdressing supports. niles with his ... nearly everything in his quotes, bless him. and camilia too on the ladies side what with her sadisim and S/M behavior, more blatant in the JP script side which is (ime) the more faithful one.

I'm probably missing an example here (garon also felt weirdly sexual for a FE dad/final boss, somewhat usually lampshaded in the comments of the 'azura dances for him' cgi movie), and that's not even mentioning the faceless which -- i don't know about you, but i've seen actual folsom BDSM gear less kinky than that enemy design.

clearly: nintendo's not exactly afraid to lay some sexual subtext with nohrian characters. hoshidos generally don't get this treatment, this often.

is it likely part and parcel of how they intended to "villain code" nohrian characters, since adding kinks to an antagonistic faction has a long history in media to make them feel more "othered" and dangerous? most likely!

regardless, i absolutely get why they'd layer in that vibe with gunter especially in revelation's route when he's one of the final bosses. adding an edge of sexual menace is an easy if cheap way to butter on that foreshadowing, and it separates him from the "nice(r) guy gunter" in the conquest married route.

sort of.

to which ...

point four: there is no polite way to get around the incesty caretaker daddy vibe in their married route so imma just say it lmao

[ just gestures wildly at his A-S support chain with fcorrin ]

somebody who is completely vanilla is not uhhh, going to have that love conversation/confession right after a literal 'father figure' mention :'D

people are entitled to their own tastes, and while i'm the type to bounce in when people bounce out "because it got too creepy", i do think it's pretty telling that there's a hell of a lot of people that got twigged out of their support and don't generally pursue it unless if they're completion fanatics. even if I'm reading way the hell into this -- they're responding to something, that's for darn sure.

one more thing to point out with the supports --

Gunter: And since you missed, you must answer a question I have for you. Corrin: All right, ask away. Gunter: Is there anyone in camp that you have particularly strong feelings for? Corrin: Wh-what? Why would you ask that? Gunter: Ah, I'm the one who is asking questions.

by itself, that last line could read fairly platonically. but with everything else.... whew. this is a man who's very aware of power dynamics. speaking of --

point five: just trust me bro

call it uhhhh prurient interest, but there has been quite a few times when i've nailed a (IRL) person's interest in kink by that version of a gaydar :P just a little too many times for it to be coincidence.

if you're asking me, the tell-tale hints are usually :

(a) a hyper-awareness of power dynamics compared to normies,

and

(b) hints of adjacent interest/sub-cultural aesthetics. (eg, goth and alt-fashion, common kink implements that can be hidden in plain sight like handcuffs, whips, boots, leather as a fashion).

and obviously we're talking about a fictional character which changes the conversation (characters being built from the ground up to serve a plot. rather than a fleshed out autonomous human being with their own set of preferences that can change over time), but listen, mate -- if my kink radar was a geiger counter, gunter here lit up like fucking chernobyl. :P

all I have to do is point at the whip bit to (5b), and regarding point (5a) ... well. you know the interesting thing about kinksters is that in addition to power dynamics, some of them have a particular thing about titles?

you know who else has a whole very specific thing about titles?

in conclusion

now, all that said, could it be wish fulfillment? absolutely. and it does need to be said -- i dig the character a lot for many other reasons! but i'm focusing on this kink angle in this essay as frankly, it's not a popular topic to talk about in fandom, and it's a fascinating itch to scratch at.

there's the sense in wider media these days that anyone over the age of 40-50 isn't allowed to have a sex life much less something as edgy as kinks unless if they're a complete monster, which is both as untrue as it is unfair. shame never helped anyone -- and i've always been partial to my messy favorite characters who never apologized for what they were. once a villainfucker, always a villainfucker.

either way, there are distinctly too many coincidences for me to write him as anything but, and I'm having fun in this sandbox ~

thanks for reading!

[queerautism]

I finished my speech! And as promised, here it is:

Autism Speaks and the Stigmas They Create

One day, you are searching for a video on YouTube. You find a video with a well-known storyline. Videos of Autism Moms bragging about how "strong" and "brave" they are for having to deal with these autistic meltdowns. Everyone praises Autism Moms for raising the child and says that she is a wonderful mother, yet they show no sign of concern for the child at all. This child is obviously upset. The mother should intervene and assist the child instead of recording his tantrum and putting it online to garner attention. Autism Speaks, a public charity for the disorder itself, is a hate organization that educates parents to believe their autistic children are a struggle or a war. Autistic kids are just kids! Just because their mind works a little differently than allistic, or non-autistic kids, doesn’t mean that they aren’t worthy of being treated like normal people.  This type of demonization of autism largely serves to dehumanize autistic individuals and render them as the terrifying "other." It isn’t right. And the world needs to know that the charity they are supporting with such large donations is genuinely working to eradicate autism.

I realize that many people consider autism to be an "illness," but have you ever wondered why you feel that way? Since the dawn of humankind, this condition has existed; however, until very recently, it went unnamed. All it is is a rewiring of the allistic brain and there is nothing wrong with it. Simply said, autistic people cannot function in this world. It wasn’t built for them. It is loud, scornful, and vehemently opposed to them. Nothing was built for them because of the way allistic people think. Dylan Matthews, an autistic person, wrote an article about why his

autism isn’t a disease. He had said how, “We believe that autism is a natural and in many ways desirable variation in how people think, not a great evil to be stamped out.” In fact, one of the main reasons people perceive autism as a disease is because of the man who discovered it. Hans Asperger was a Nazi who conducted brutal tests on people he suspected of having autism. The Nazi had essentially made it possible for the allistic society to find excuses to abuse and mistreat autistic human beings. Human beings! Why is it accepted that such a claim is true while Nazi idealism does not constitute the norm? There is no way this atrocity can continue!

Asperger's method of thinking has been adopted by Autism Speaks in an effort to "treat" autism. Many people are unaware that autism is a spectrum disorder and that people who are non-verbal are not the only ones who have it. Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Tim Burton, Charles Darwin, Sir Isaac Newton, Elon Musk, and many others all have autism. You should give them

credit for using their original thinking to create services you use every day, like Google as well as some great movies. We shouldn't continue to view autism as a disorder because their frame of mind has impacted the world. It simply represents a distinct approach to thinking. People's perceptions of autistic individuals are of these completely non-verbal children who are constantly slamming their heads against walls. Why did the stereotype become prevalent? Why do people's perceptions of them shift so much from the truth?

The Autism Self Advocacy Network, an organization run by autistic people, states that only 4% of Autism Speaks’ budget goes into ‘Family Service’, which is supposed to be for financially aiding families with autistic members. They take the majority of the funds they get and use it to pay their executives about $600,000 annually. Why isn't that money used to support autistic adults or families with autistic children in need of financial assistance? They spend their money on vacation homes rather than on charitable causes. Why don't you realize that this is wrong? The fundraising tactics used by Autism Speaks encourage stigma, fear, and discrimination towards those with autism. They don't even employ autistic individuals to provide advice on how they manage things. Wouldn't you want a say in the creation of something if it was intended to aid you? Even though Autism Speaks is perhaps the largest autism organization in the country, they don't particularly concentrate on assisting families of individuals with autism. I am unable to support a group that pays its CEO such a scandalous salary while ignoring the actual needs of the families it claims to help.

Additionally, some of Autism Speaks' logos ought to be updated. The puzzle piece stands for the fact that there's a piece missing in them. Nothing is wrong with them. They are full human beings who need to be treated as such. And wearing blue on April 2nd? That also has to change. What shall we put on in its place? Instead, the Autism Self Advocacy Network urges us to wear red to show our support for those who are autistic. And how about using the infinity sign, which is something the autistic community uses to illustrate the wide range of experiences found within neurodiversity, in place of the puzzle piece?

Autism Speaks also encourages mothers to abort their autistic babies before they are born. Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, everyone agrees that this is wrong. They are putting research into prenatal testing to find out whether or not a fetus will be autistic. Do you endorse mutilating your unborn autistic child? If your child wasn’t autistic, you wouldn’t be forced to abort it by an organization that claims to support the disorder.

While Autism Speaks claims to be for raising "awareness" of autism, in reality, all they are doing is instilling fear. They have created some truly appalling videos to promote their group

over the years, portraying autistic children as something to be feared. They also produced a film called "Autism Every Day" in which women discuss how tough their lives are as a result of having autistic children while their kids were in the room. Including a mother who claims she considered driving off a bridge with her autistic child, but decided against it only because she also had a neurotypical child. This is what Autism Speaks promotes. It promotes these harmful stereotypes to eradicate autism. It promotes these harmful stereotypes to make the world in their image. It promotes these harmful stereotypes in order to end the lives of millions of kids around the world.

The Suicide Prevention Resource Center conducted research on the statistics surrounding the suicide rate among autistic people. Participants comprised 6,559,266 Danespeople living in Denmark between 1995–2016. 35,020 study participants had an ASD diagnosis. Individuals with ASD were over three times more likely to attempt suicide than those without ASD, even after adjusting for sex, age, and time period. This disparity was more significant for girls with ASD, who were over 8 times more likely to try suicide than females without ASD. In contrast, males with ASD were 1.93 times more likely to attempt suicide than males without ASD. What I’m trying to tell you with all these statistics is that autistic people are more likely to kill themselves than non autistic people. Poor mental health support, which is brought on by Autism Speaks, is one of several causes. Autism Speaks created the stigma of what an autistic person looks like, making it harder for girls and people of color to get a diagnosis. Not everyone looks like Rain Man or Sheldon Cooper. It is called a spectrum disorder for this reason. This is why you need to immediately stop giving this group your support.

Autistic people are human beings. Autistic people are worthy of the chance at life. Autistic people deserve your support. This isn’t just about how Autism Speaks is a hate group. This is about how we need to change our perspectives on what autism is. People with autism must be treated with dignity and respect. The Bible says that hatred is the same as murder. God views all sins equally. This ought to be obvious to everyone, regardless of religion. Autism wasn’t built for this world so we need to change that. We need to stop organizations like Autism Speaks from having such a grip on our worldview. We need to help the kids having the meltdowns instead of posting it online for clout. We need to change the world. Autism Moms brand their puzzle piece symbols and ‘light it up blue’ for Autism Awareness day, but aren’t we already aware of this disorder? Shouldn’t we instead work on autism acceptance? On April 2nd, we need to show our support by wearing red. We accept autism because we know that they deserve the respect they so desperately deserve. Their blood runs red, the same as you. You are human, and they are, too.views all sins equally. This ought to be obvious to everyone, regardless of religion. Autism wasn’t built for this world so we need to change that. We need to stop organizations like Autism Speaks from having such a grip on our worldview. We need to help the kids having the meltdowns instead of posting it online for clout. We need to change the world. Autism Moms brand their puzzle piece symbols and ‘light it up blue’ for Autism Awareness day, but aren’t we already aware of this disorder? Shouldn’t we instead work on autism acceptance? On April 2nd, we need to show our support by wearing red. We accept autism because we know that they deserve the respect they so desperately deserve. Their blood runs red, the same as you. You are human, and they are, too.

Lots of great stuff here! I hope your speech goes very well

[anonymeqaupdates]

In chapter 6

Malleus: How unfortunate for what Styx did to the overblot victims and the Ramshackle dorm.

Lilia: Yeah but there's nothing we can do about it. Sebek and Silver are upset on what just happened to their friends.

Malleus: You're right, it's not our business and only hope for the best. I wish I could fixed his ramshackle dorm but I was thinking of inviting the child of man to stay over and-

Sebek: Those ****ing idiots! *Came and kick the nearby stool*

Lilia: Sebek, what's wrong?!

Sebek: Yuu and Epel followed that creep out from school! I swear those idiots will pay the price!

Malleus is silent before lighting storm came...

...

Trein: Ugh, maybe I should convinced Yuu to stay in Royal Sword Academy. At least with Sacha by his side, there's nothing wrong about it.

Crewel: I swear I'm glad that I don't have children.

Yeah, the school budget is going to double by the end of this.

[lopezletmebe]

Inevitable Failure

There is something about my co-parent supervising visitation that never sat well with me.

Maybe it's the fact that I truly perceived our relationship as a cycle of domestic abuse, him being the perpetrator.

Don't get me wrong, I have mental pathways that don't allow me to be fully emotionally available to what feels like danger.

It's dangerous, to live paycheck to paycheck as a parent of many children and it's even more dangerous, to never gain the fortitude to want to be better every single year.

Or it could be the fact that he has initiated sex many times which I felt obligated to give in to time and time again- at first it was because I actually really missed him and it and then it became a pattern of when I give in, I get more time with my kids.

What woman who longs for her children every single day wouldn't give in just to find out how it turns out, right?

Giving in became a natural thing and by no means did I really honestly think that we could reconcile because I've let it be known already- if it were to happen I would literally lose everything that I worked so hard to obtain and maintain over the last year within the first three to four months.

I feel like I live by it now and I will continue to do so. I've avoided being coerced into sexual activities to get more time with my kids just recently and it led to our St. Louis Zoo trip being canceled.

I've discontinued treating my body like a payment method and that quite possibly could be the result of paying a full-grown man that has been to active war twice, $1441 a month which was also first paid in full on our 4th wedding anniversary.

Listen here fellers and yellers, I do things with great purpose and may have sabotaged my relationship but buddy all you had to do was listen and get with the literal written-down program. My OCD ass doesn't allow me to have income without a written-down fixed budget to move my life forward in some way along the way.

The purpose of paying my child support in full on my 4th anniversary was first, since it was the first day after checking with the courts for at least 20 days but I also wanted to mark it as the last thing to tie me to him.

He can no longer ask me for any more assistance or to share my body, mind, and soul with him.

I gave more than enough of myself to try and create a good life with a man that I saw true potential in and that man just doesn't see the same potential in himself and carries too many insecurities from past adultery that I have nothing to do with.

It'll always be truly beyond me how my annual child support payment of about $17,000 will equal the balance he back owed in his child support- for his son to his ex wife that he continuously dodges left and right- when I first started to panic that I may have to figure out life all by myself with three sweet young babies because any day this man can be charged in contempt of court for his overdue child support. Yes, I said he dodged it.

And the last time was the last straw. He quit his last job for no solid reason and I was done for good.

I lost it internally. I truly believe I was not in the right state of mind when I said what I said to him over the phone while I put-together quesadillas and black beans for my munchkins. At least at that time, I know that I was selfishly only considering my own feelings as I got screamed at over the phone. But in hind sight, I can understand that my children may be confused by what they could have overheard from the other room- yet my actions towards my babies were kind and generous(feeding them their favorite lunch).

My actions weren't matching the words he kept saying to me over and over which made me feel like repeating it to him would make it stop.

No hunnies, instead the frantic man started saying that he would catch a ride home to save his kids from a delusion he created while I fed our sweet small children a balanced meal that I enjoyed with them through tears from fighting him to please stay at work. "We're finally getting out of the lower poverty line."

Failure of my marriage was inevitable and I saw it then and I went through with it knowing it and now I pay a hefty price but I can truly say that I live a modest and humble life.

I make good money but I have a beautiful grown woman who has been completely neglected by everyone and herself over the last few years, to take care of. First things first, my boudoir shoot in December..

I was never celebrated as a girlfriend, wife, mother, or mother, so I'm going to celebrate myself as a 30-year-old woman with prominent abs because keeping my mind on my own mind, body, and soul has helped to gain a level of respect for myself that I will never allow to dissipate.

[donnabroadway]

RHOP

Next.

This show is overly scripted and dry. It gave enough for me to be mildly entertained but if Robyn is the cornerstone of the season, go back to the drawing board. It feels like the ladies have a checklist of things to address and they did.

Robyn- she's not getting fired, so put down your pitchforks. Robyn has a strong ally in Gizelle and even if she didn't, she fits in with the top players and does enough to keep her job. Plus, there aren't a lot of housewives qualified women, who actually live in Potomac, knocking down Bravo's door to play with their marriages, families, reputations, and/or livelihood. There is no replacement for Robyn so she stays. I laughed during her entire scene with Juan. If you like it, I love it. None of his excuses made sense and it was painful and not in a good way, like watching a low budget movie with bad acting, just painful. Robyn is the main breadwinner and they need her to stay employed, so of course he is going to show up more. I find it interesting that Robyn is okay with Juan calling the woman everyone thinks he is having an affair with "very beautiful." Maybe I missed something because I was multitasking but I don't recall Juan outright denying an affair. If Gizelle, Ashley, and Charrisse, want to stay friends, or at least cordial with Robyn, they need to allow their friend to be stupid in peace because in Robyn's mind, her relationship and Juan's lack of respect and discretion aren't the issue, it's people who can't mind the business who are the problem, so unless they want to see the nasty side of Robyn, I suggest they let it go.

Gizelle and that man- you wanted Gizelle with a man, so she bought one. Apparently, this is Jason's fourth show as a "boyfriend." This was painful to watch as well. Too scripted plus I don't believe they're having sex. There is a distinct energy that two people have when they've had sex and this ain't it. I hope Jason gets paid well, be it in coin or exposure.

Ashley- girl. I would say I don't know who is more delusional, you or Robyn but you're a close second. I don't think anyone can be more delusional than Robyn but for Ashley to believe she is playing Michael by staying married, okay girl. I will let you have it but Michael is winning. He knows that he just can't get rid of Ashley because it would be very expensive so he moved her into her own place, pays her a set amount, and can still play daddy when he feels like it. I will say that Ashley is a good mother. I love the relationship her boys are building.

Mia- I never believed Mia was the CEO because Gordon had the business way before he knew Mia but I can believe marketing director, since she has done interviews on behalf of the business before she was on RHOP but she was a gold digger who came up. I have nothing to really say about Mia and Gordon, except too bad, too sad. Mia has three kids, no rich man is taking that on but I believe she can be like Kim Zolciack and get a rich benefactor and a fake engagement ring but unless Mia snags a virginal tech nerd, no man is taking on all of that, especially a rich man with options.

Wendy-I will always say this about her, I wish she'd get off this show. I get it, she probably makes at least a quarter million off of this show, in addition to Eddie's income and her income from other things. The money allows her to pay down their student debt, build a nest egg, take care of family, and do other things but I want her to play long game. Wendy could be president of a university or something else. She has so much potential but she'd rather play in the mud with ladies who have not achieved a quarter of what she has. I get it but I don't.

Karen-next, same ol, same ol. Karen is a good foil against Robyn and Gizelle because she can hold her own, and go just as low without getting overly emotional.

Candiace- she and Chris are targets because Chris wants to be a reality star instead of a chef. I'm starting to think Candiace's mom isn't completely wrong. I think he gives off good guy energy and is a balance for Candiace, I'll give him that but has he stepped up to be there for all three of his kids and not just the two with the same mother? Has he had a consistent job over the years? He was a chef at a restaurant and because he essentially ran the place, he gets a percentage. I know people who have a percentage of a business, for whatever reason, but they are not owners, they get paid upon the sale. It's a thank you for your loyalty.

Charrisse- okay, girl. A common rebuttal for criticism against Charrisse is her connections but if she truly had them, she wouldn't be on this show. Her connections were contingent upon her husbands money, influence as a head coach in the NBA, and her children and the schools and organizations they were apart of and she no longer has none of that, plus she's on national TV spreading disparaging business in a world that values discretion. Charrisse has no use to any of the DMV upper echelons, so here she is staging a useless intervention for Robyn.

[wintervalewriter]

honey honey - pink soldier

yes ma'am/sir/mx please write some pink soldier things <3 I'm begging youuuuu

hi lovie!! i love the soldiers (especially the triangles) and i dont even know why AAA, i hope you like this. i remember reading something like this and it was headcanons, so if you find it lmk so i can tag it!! i tried to make it a gn reader but i might accidentally put some other pronouns in there on accident, please correct me on anything i got wrong! it's kinda long, but i hope you enjoy! <33

IMPORTANT! this is not the full story i have. i do have an idea for a second part to this. if people like this one, i will write it out! i am also open for requests

wordcount: 3,224 warnings: same as squid game, death, etc.

honey honey masterlist

Never would you have thought that you would return to this strange place after 'Red Light, Green Light.' Nothing about the huge room that you woke up in felt welcoming or safe. You noticed that you weren't the only one that came back. Even though a big portion of the people are missing, enough people had changed their minds to come back and play. Number 074, the number that's stamped onto your green-ish tracksuit.

You sit on your bed as the others had grouped together, talking to each other. Reasons as to why they came back, stories about the last game they played, why they need money, even people trying to find out what the next game would be. It wasn't like you wanted to play again, but you have to. This feels like the only place where you actually get a chance to be able to earn money. You had moved to South Korea for an exchange year, but it didn't go as planned. Your budgeting skills were not as good as you thought they would be, miscalculating the amount of money you would spend in the year. It would be impossible to pay for, even if you worked for years.

So, the only choice that you saw was to enter the weird game again. You throw your blanket off of your shoulders when you hear the familiar classical music again, signaling some kind of announcement.

"Attention. Your mealtime begins now. All players, please form a line in the center of the room."

Everyone gets up, standing in a straight line just as the instruction had told them to. Right in front of them were the Circles, as you called them, handing out tins. You take the one that gets handed to you before you return to your bed.

"Hey, you can sit here!"

You look up, seeing a man smiling and waving at you. He looks nice enough, but in this place, you can't trust anyone. But what if you'll need a team later? You clench your jaw before smiling back, walking towards the small group.

"I wished the rice was at least a little heated up," Number 456 pouts before taking a bite of the cold rice.

You laugh, taking a bite too. It isn't all that bad, at least it's better than what you have been eating. The group is nice to be around, they're talking about all different things, their past and even offer to help you and Ali out, considering you aren't familiar with the games. Maybe it wasn't a bad choice to sit with them.

Soon enough it was time to sleep... If you could.

"HEY! Let me out! If you don't let me pee, I will just pee on the floor! Yeah, right here!"

You groan, is no one gonna stop this woman? Your bed is in the middle, but if you walking up to her is going to make her stop screaming, then it's worth it. Maybe the game tomorrow requires a good rest, but no one will be able to rest like this. Besides, you have to pee too, so if they will let her through, maybe you can too.

"I mean it! I will pee right here! You just wait, you will have to clean it up anyway!"

With big steps you walk towards Number 212, grabbing her by the shoulder.

"Can you please quiet down? Maybe if you weren't screaming like a crazy person then they would let you through."

212 looks down at you, confused at what you said. Maybe she is used to people doing whatever she pleases, but for now, you just want to use the toilet and go to sleep. You breathe in deeply, licking your lips before walking towards the door, softly knocking on it. The small slider opening, revealing a Triangle mask. He almost looks confused that it's someone else. You awkwardly smile, giving a small wave.

"Um, hi. Could we maybe use the toilet?" You point to the woman behind you. "Please?"

The Triangle inspects you for a second before looking to his right, probably to the Square that was there. He gives a small nod before turning back to you.

"Make it quick."

You sigh in relief as 212 jumps up, screaming before flinging her arms around you. A few seconds later the doors open and the two of you step in, following the Triangle to the toilets. If this wasn't a place where you could get killed in a children's game, then you probably would have liked all the different hallways. They are all pastel and colorful, unlike the entire vibe in the sleeping quarters.

A big sigh escapes your mouth once you can finally use the toilet. A bit of peace and quiet. After you wash your hands, you suddenly smell smoke. Is there a fire? You knock on the door to 212's toilet.

"Are you okay?"

You hear a groan and the little door opens.

"Can a woman not smoke? Buy me some time, will you?"

Before you can answer she has closed the door again. She is in a place where you could get murdered at any moment, but she seems calm enough to take her time to smoke. A loud knock on the door makes you look up.

"Come out, it has been long enough."

You look back at the toilets before opening the door, revealing the tall Triangle. He looks down at you before looking at the stalls.

"Where is the other Player?"

"Oh, she has um..." You purse your lips before looking back up at him. "Diarrhea. Yeah, really bad."

You could almost hear the offended gasp coming from 212 as you said that. The guard almost seems uncomfortable with your answer, but hopefully, it would give 212 some more time. Triangle steps back, allowing you to enter the hallway before closing the door to the bathroom. You slide down the wall, sitting down with your legs stretched out. It has been a long day and all you want to do is sleep.

"I would bring you back to the sleeping quarters," Triangle starts. "But unfortunately the other Player is... having troubles. I can't risk her walking through the halls on her own."

"Oh, I get it," you mumble, closing your jacket. "At least she's quiet now. I don't think I would be able to get any sleep if she kept screaming like that."

The guard almost laughs, but instead keeps his composure, standing straight while you wait for 212. Minutes pass and the only thing you can do is to wait.

It's strange to be alone with one of the guards, especially after the gruesome events that will happen in the next few days. If you'll even make it that far. The games are unpredictable, and even if you would know the names, you wouldn't know how to play them.

"So, what's up with the masks?"

You look up at the tall figure. Maybe you could see why they would cover their face. They look intimidating, dangerous, even slightly creepy. But getting short answers might be more fun than just sitting in silence.

"We are not allowed to disclose anything that has to do with our personal information. Face included."

Makes sense. You shrug before looking at the door. How long does it take to smoke one cigarette?

"Interesting," you mumble. "What about the food? Did you make that, or do you have a personal chef in this place?"

It might seem stupid to ask questions like this, but what else can you do? You're stuck here in hopes that you will be the last one standing. How big is that chance? There are hundreds of people in the sleeping quarters that would do anything for the money.

The Triangle snorts before clearing his throat. He then shakes his head.

"The workers make it."

You furrow your brows, is he not a worker? He notices your confusion and then kneels down, resting the big gun on his knee.

"Squares are the highest, kind of like a manager," he forms a square with his gloved hands. "Then there's Triangles, like me. The soldiers. After that are the Circles, our workers."

He repeats the movements with his hands again. Square, triangle, circle. It all seems quite thought out, but then again, how else would they be able to get away with all of this. You want to ask a question again, but before you can, the bathroom door opens. The Triangle immediately stands back up, tightly holding the gun.

"Ah, such a refreshing toilet break!" 212 grins, giving you a thumbs up.

You look from the guard to 212 before nodding.

"You have to go back now, the lights went out nearly an hour ago."

The Triangle gestures to the two of you to walk, 212 skipping past you and back to the door that leads to the sleeping quarters. You slowly follow her, slightly nervous about the Triangle being right behind you. His entire personality switched back to the cold, stoic Soldier.

212 opens the door, immediately walking towards her bed with a proud look on her face. You turn back to the soldier, nodding at him before mouthing a 'thank you'. He gives you a nod back before you walk into the sleeping quarters, returning to your bed.

Please let tomorrow be different.

ꕔ

"Attention. It is now time for breakfast. All players, please form a line in the center of the room."

You stretch your arms before neatly placing your blanket at the end of your bed. Time to get back in line. The rest of your team, if you can call it that already, has gotten their breakfast right before you. You look around, trying to see if you can find the same Triangle that had helped you yesterday. Why are you even looking? He might be the one that will kill you today.

The Circle in front of you hands you a small bottle of milk and a packaged treat. You raise your eyebrows and turn around to go sit with Gi-Hun and the rest.

"Good morning!"

You open the package with the pastry in it before taking a good look.

"It's good," Ali mumbles with his mouth full. "Sweet too."

Ali was right. The small pastry is indeed very good and surprisingly filling. You open up your milk and drink half of it before sighing. The thought that the people in front of you could be dead after today is horrible. Hell, the thought that you could die today is terrifying.

"Does anyone have any guesses as to what the game could be?"

Everyone shakes their heads. How could you ever start to guess what it could be? There are countless games that you could play. The group and you kill some time by talking about all these random things, Ali still munching on the pastry that he had gotten from Sang-Woo. The peace got disturbed quite fast as the same classical song blasted through the speakers.

The second game.

You nervously look at your team before breathing in deeply. Please let this be easy. And if not easy, then please let it be a game that you know.

The walk to the next game is nerve-wracking. You would think that if you would walk through a pastel-colored piece of art that you would enjoy it, but the stairs are only making you more nervous. It seems so unpredictable, you never know where you would have to go as the stairs lead to anywhere.

The soldiers in front of you walk into the room first. Is it the same one? It's hard to see, the only thing you can go on is either by voice or his height, which is still quite a task.

A playground? Your eyes fly around the room, trying to see what it's all about. The brightly colored room feels slightly nostalgic with all its huge equipment. On the wall are different symbols, but they do not look familiar to you. At least, not with any game.

"Why is this playground so big?" Gi-Hun mumbles.

You shrug while looking around. You stop when you look at the Triangle standing close to the umbrella symbol, is that him?

"Players, welcome to the second game. We will begin shortly."

Gi-Hun starts rambling about which game it could be. You look up at him, trying to follow everything he is saying. You don't recognize any of the names he is calling, which doesn't feel like a good sign. Before anyone can respond, the voice continues.

"Players, before the second game begins, choose one of the four available shapes you see on the wall. Once you've chosen your shape, please stand in front of it."

That seems easy enough.

"Okay. A circle, a triangle, a star, and an umbrella," Gi-Hun points out.

Sang-Woo zones out, staring blankly at the ground in front of him. You furrow your eyebrows, is he okay? Is he about to have a panic attack? Everyone decides to pick a symbol, all a different one.

"I'll go with an umbrella too. Looks the most fun," you laugh, giving Gi-Hun a high five as he also picked the umbrella.

Your group is one of the last ones to pick a shape, so you quickly walk towards the umbrella.

"Y/N?"

You turn around when Sang-Woo calls your name, smiling at him. He looks at you before clenching his jaw, sending you a small smile.

"Good luck."

You quickly nod, giving him a thumbs-up before entering the line for the umbrella. Would you receive an umbrella? How would you even use that in this huge playground? Maybe you could use it as a shield for something. Maybe it's dodgeball? That would explain the circle.

"There are too many people at the umbrella," the Triangle suddenly says. "Player 074, take place at the triangle."

It's him.

Why doesn't he want you to pick the umbrella? You raise your eyebrows and nod, joining the line for the triangle. It doesn't look like this line was any shorter than the umbrella one, but you don't dare to speak back. Even if it was the Triangle from yesterday.

"The time to select your shape has ended. I will now explain the rules of the next game."

The doors that have the shapes on them open up to reveal a table filled with tins. Not what you expected.

"All players, please take one case each from the table at the front of your line."

You patiently wait until it's your turn to grab a tin. The Circle hands you the tin and you nod before walking back to the playground. You look around to try and find your group, but everyone seems to be spread out.

"The second game is sugar honeycombs. The shape you have chosen is the shape you must remove from the honeycomb. The time limit is ten minutes."

The voice makes you nervous.

"You will pass if you trim out the shape without it breaking or cracking within the time limit. With that, let the game begin."

You debate whether or not you want to climb up the slide, but someone has already made their way up there. You decide to sit down at the end of the slide, the tin on your knee. The Triangles start moving around, taking a good look at what everyone is doing. Wait, carve it out?

The triangle. You have to carve out a triangle. Even though you don't have any experience with this game, you can tell that this must have been the easiest shape. Luckily you didn't get the- Oh no. Gi-Hun. The umbrella. You try to find him in the room full of people, but the soldier in front of you taps your shoulder.

"074, the clock is counting down. You might want to start."

Him again. You quickly nod, taking off the lid of the tin, revealing the honeycomb with the triangle pressed into it. The sharp needle is laying on top of it. Just three straight lines, that must be easy enough.

A minute passes and you have been able to take one side of the honeycomb off. The fact that you had gotten the triangle is unbelievable, you would never survive the umbrella. Hopefully, the others are doing alright. You can't find them as everyone is hunched over, blocking their faces and numbers.

"Wait... WAIT! One more chance!" Someone exclaims, making you look up.

"Please! No, please don't-"

The voice gets cut off by a gunshot, scaring the shit out of you. The loud bang surprised you, so much that you almost dropped your honeycomb. Where was it coming from?

Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel something hitting your back. It can't be. You slowly turn your head to look at what had fallen down the slide as more gunshots follow the first. Behind you is player 369 with a big hole in his forehead. Your eyes grow big as people around you start screaming, accidentally breaking their honeycomb and following 369's fate.

"Player 074, please move. For your own safety."

Move. You can't move. The shock has made you frozen, shaking while still having the head of the man against your back. Triangle grabs you by your arms, lifting you up before placing you closer to the edge of the room. He carefully maneuvers around the bodies, making sure you get on the other side of the room. He leans down to hand you back your tin.

"Please continue," he whispers before standing back up straight, looking at whatever the other players are doing.

Gunshots sound through the room every few seconds as you nervously carve the straight lines. It can't go wrong... Right? Slowly you start to ignore the gunshots for as much as you can. Could you ever fully ignore the sounds of screams, pleads, and shots?

"Player 111, pass."

The first few people are passing, leaving the bloody room behind as they will be safe for another day. You give the lines some more scratches, slowly breaking off more and more of the honeycomb.

Crack.

Your Triangle stops in front of you, leaning down to see your honeycomb.

"Player 074, pass."

You breathe in deeply, placing the small triangle back in the tin. The clock tells you that there are only two minutes left. You look up at the Triangle who just blankly stares at you. At least, that's what you think he is doing.

"Don't look down," he mumbles before turning around to check up on the other players.

You notice that he walks right towards the door, almost mapping out a safe path for you so that you don't have to look down. You had heard that Sae-Byeok, Sang-Woo, and Ali had finished already. Hopefully, 001 and Gi-Hun would survive.

The path back to the safe sleeping quarters seems longer than you thought they were. The music is calm, which is still strange to you. Why did they pick this music? Suddenly, the music gets interrupted by gunshots. Not one, but multiple shots that seem to keep going for hours. You nervously clasp your hands together as you keep walking. The further you can get from the hellish playground, the better.

[reddieandwaiting87]

Top 5 times Misha ruined supernatural

Wow that's a great one @chiazu thank you!!

I mean I could just say by being himself and ugly but you said top 5 so here goes.

I will try and make this all Misha and not Asstiel moments.

Top 5 times Misha ruined Supernatural.

1.) Sucking up to Singer. Alot of things I will mention here is due to the fact Misha sucked up to Singer and became his little pet. Eye bags is smart and knows whose ass to kiss.

2.) Staying WELL over his time. Asstiel never should have came out of that lake in S7. But again friends with Singer, so when Sera fucked up the budget and Singer got more control of course eye bags comes back. And Misha says yes because again he knows he will NEVER get a gig like SPN again.

3.) Forcing his way into photoshoots. Again cause he was friends with Singer (and took a pay cut cause the man is just an attention whore and cares more about being seen then money.) He gets to be the 3rd wheel and stick out like an ugly sore thumb off the show now as well as on it. Also then his fans think he is a lead. Lol no.

4.) Taking away from Mark.S finally SPN scene/Crowley dying. I think this was more Singer/Dabb giving Mark.S a big fuck you. Just like taking him out of the bloopers in S12. For daring to point somethings out to them. But I'm sure Misha really had to be forced into getting attention too. Having Asstiel die in a lame way isn't a bad thing. I mean it's what his character deserves but to do it right after Crowley and when we all knew Asstiel would be back yeah. Fuck Singer and Misha for that one. They would rather piss off one of the few good actors on the show and keep the useless dead weight cause one sucks up to them while other who can act btw dares to say something.

5.) Now the show is over instead of being thankful and showing appreciation to the show that put up with his talentless ass. Eye bags forever the classy good looking man he is. Wants attention and pandering to shippers only does so much. So now he wants everyone to believe he was picked on and he had a smaller trailer then J2.

Well duh you fucking cunt, your an over the hill bad actor, side character. While they are the stars of the fucking show. You wouldn't have a job without them. Remember you didn't have a job for over a year without them? Singer go only do so much for you.

And that he didn't enjoy working on the show. While not outright saying J2 where Jerks to him (cause he still needs to let on to Cockley cunts he and Jensen are BFFs in RL.) But hinting enough to get sympathy and make J2/SPN look bad.

He can't even lie convincingly because if the show was that bad and the environment so awful. Why come back after S7? Why take a pay cut to stay on? Why cry like a bitch when you found out J2 wanted to move on?

I know you said 5 things which I did but you can't mention Misha ruining Supernatural and not mention the worst ship ever.

Bonus mention!!!!

Another way Misha ruined the show and the fandom was Destiel.

While yes Misha didn't come up with it and there is nothing wrong with ships and shipping. Fuck every show/Movie we watch or book we read we all ship something. Some don't even make sense or aren't canon cause thats the beauty of shipping.

Unless you are a loser that tries to make fake ships canon and then cry queer bait and how everyone is homophobic for not shipping you ship. Get a life no one likes you. Just FYI 🤪

But Misha ever the loser and attention whore. Has made the Destiel ship and Destiehellers one of the most entitled loud bunch of unlikeable cry babies ever to exist in a fandom and thats saying alot.

So thats why it gets a special message. XD

In short Misha is gross inside and out and seeing less of him is amazing.

Thank you for the ask anon. That was fun.

If anymore has anymore send them my way.

[houseofdabs]

roadkill driver

"i made a playlist for Lester and i wanted to write about it bc i love country music:)

(i know a lot of people dont like to listen to country, especially old country, so ill try to write the general tone of each song with it)

--------------------------------------------------

lester is a hard worker, sanitation jobs are hard and he's out in fucking louisiana haulin deer and shit, who knows if he's even getting paid for it, and even if he does it's probably close to pennies

most of the songs are about how he's constantly working for little to nothing in return, he has no control in his life.

1) Sixteen Tons (Tennessee Ernie Ford): no matter what he does he'll always be stuck, he's tied an obligation and has no will

"Some people say a man is made outta mud A poor man's made outta muscle and blood Muscle and blood and skin and bones A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong"

2) 9 to 5 (Dolly Parton): Lester is optimistic, it wavers though with each day when he realizes there's no real way of getting out of any of this.

"They got you where they want you There's a better life And you dream about it, don't you?"

3) A Working Man Can't Get Nowhere Today (Merle Haggard): More of Lester being stuck and it's worse with the weight of his brothers. He works hard and has nothing to show for it, it's one viscous cycle

"Tryin' to keep my family fed, I keep my budget tight Tryin' to keep myself ahead but I'd still be dee in debt The day that I fall dead, that's why I say Lord, a working man can't get nowhere today"

with the business of ambrose comes anxiety and puts a strain on his relationship with his brothers, he's filled with doubt and guilt. his actions contradict his morals and beliefs but he's at a crossroads due to his relationship with his brothers.

4) Lost Highway (Hank Williams): Lester knows what he's doing is wrong but he's so deep in there's no hope for him, he reflects on how he got to this point and wishes that somehow he could have avoided it.

"I was just a lad, nearly 22 Neither good nor bad, just a kid like you And now I'm lost, too late to pray Lord, I take a cost, oh the lost highway"

5)I Just Don't Like This Kind Of Living (Hank Williams): Despite doing all he can for his loved one he's treated terrible by them, he puts all he can into supporting them and gets nothing in return. They're selfish and hateful and each interaction has that tiny voice in Lester's head telling him to leave get a little louder

"I just don't like the things you're doin' Your evil heart will be your ruin When things start runnin' smooth and free You haul right off and you pick on me And I just don't like this kind of livin'"

6) I Hung My Head (Johnny Cash): Lester projects "my brothers gun" as Bo and Vincent wrangling them into their business, he doesn't kill the men, his brothers do, but he's just as guilty.

"I felt the power of death over life I orphaned his children, I widowed his wife I begged their forgiveness, I wish I was dead"

7) Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven (John Prine): He was raised religious and because of this he can't help but feel the fear of paying for this when he finally gets the chance to rest, he won't be able to absolve himself of this sin.

"Now Jesus don't like killin' No matter what the reason's for, And your flag decal won't get you Into Heaven any more."

8) Folsom City Blues (Johnny Cash): Lester knows that if they get caught it's bad news, but also views his family home in Ambrose as a prison and stays far from it. Even though he's "free" he's still tied down.

"Well, If They Freed Me From This Prison, If That Railroad Train Was Mine, I Bet I'd Move On Over A Little Farther Down The Line, Far From Folsom Prison, That's Where I Want To Stay,"

9) The Master's Call (Marty Robbins): Here comes his religious trauma, he's rattled with the idea of damnation or "serious" punishment. He does think of higher powers and considers the whole worship, it having been so engrained in him, but it still scares him the same.

"I felt the end was near, that death would be the price When a mighty bolt of lightning showed the face of Jesus Christ And I cried oh Lord forgive me, don't let it happen now I want to live for you alone, Oh God these words I vow

My wicked past unfolded, I thought of wasted years"

10) Creeker (Tyler Childers): Lester doesn't go far from Ambrose, it's all he knows, but he craves freedom and normalcy. He feels lonely and hates the town, he thinks about his situation and it makes him angry. His brothers put him in this and now he's suck, he just wants gone but everywhere he goes he'll be alone, but even with his own kin he's a stranger.

"And for everyone you meet there's a whole mess of people Tryin' like hell to pull you on down To the level they're on and the trouble they're tendin' In the mess that they've made, in the gutter they found

And he'd rather be dead Than alive one more minute In this godforsaken town When he was a kid Lord, he'd never have dreamt it All the ways that the city can bring a country boy down"

he spends a lot of time with nature; his job as a roadkill driver and just his affinity for animals has him constantly interacting with wildlife, he's definitely not using it as a way to compensate for the lack of love from his brothers. he's a lonely guy and if there's no one around well you make with what you have and fill your house with critters you find at you job:)

11) Old Red (Marty Robbins): A story about a bull that couldn't be tamed, definitely not representing Bo or anything. A cowboy who had never been thrown stepped up to break him but in the middle of it Old Red crushes the cowboy and kills himself in the process. Lester tries to sway Bo but knows one day his brother might treat him the same as the tourists.

"Old Red lay still, no more would he move The cowboys that seen it could tell In tryin' to throw Billy off of his back Old Red broke his neck when he fell"

12) The Strawberry Roan (Marty Robbins): Yes another Lester comparing Bo to a Bull, if there's anyone with the balls to step to Bo it's Lester but he knows that it gets him nowhere. He knows that if it weren't for his other brother, Bo would be alone because no one but people he's forced to stay would be able to.

"I'll bet all my money, the man ain't alive That'll stay with old strawberry When he makes his high dive"

13) My Love (Marty Robbins): My man just loves nature and everything in it. You can find beauty in everything and comfort in nothingness, nature has so much to offer and Lester is taking in everything.

"The call of the night bird I love every trill There's peace and contentment When everything's still"

14) The Bend in the River (Marty Robbins): He loves traveling and he knows every nook and cranny of the wildlife around him, he's familiar with every trail and ever creek and knows the trees. He wants to travel beyond it, he want love and freedom, but it's not coming anytime soon.

"In the cottonwood by the river A mourning dove calls his mate He has true love to give her But love for me must wait."

15) Man Walks Among Us (Marty Robbins): Lester loves animals and with the amount of nature around him the wildlife is active. He's respectful of their spaces and homes, only passing through to check up on or sneak a peak of some of them. It's what he loves the most, the boondocks are something he feels is his place, and will never leave it if he can.

"Twenty feet high in the side of a cactus I see a hole where the butcher bird stays If mortals could choose, and if heaven should ask us Here's where I'd want to spend all of my days"

16) Sam (Sturgill Simpson): Loves him a good companion, used to have a dog of his own when he first moved to Ambrose who's momma had got by a rattlesnake and Lester managed to save the pup. He was glued to Lester's side and accompanied him everywhere but one day got out and in the middle of an altercation with Bo and a visitor.

"He was a hound of hounds He was the wonder of all walkers He loved howlin' at the moon He loved treein' that raccoon Most of all, he was my best friend And he's gone too soon"

Lester is proud of himself, he's a made man and has a job and his own house. He sees the silver lining of being independent and holds his head high because of his accomplishments. He's a grown man who can come and go and do as he pleases, no one can tell him nothing. Sometimes he wishes that he didn't have to give up his life for this.

17) A Hundred And Sixty Acres (Marty Robbins): His home is simple and he works hard for what he has, he's proud to say he earned his keep while Bo and Vincent simply inherited theirs. He has his own house and he's his own man.

"Up at dawn to greet the sun I've forgotten what a care or worry means Head for home when day is done With my pocket money jinglin' in my jeans. I've got a hundred and sixty acres full of sunshine Got a hundred and sixty million stars above Got an old paint hoss, I'm the guy who's boss On the hundred and sixty acres that I love!"

18) Doggone Cowboy (Marty Robbins): Romanticizing stuff helps and boy does Lester do it, he views his loneliness as independence and knows that he'll likely be this way his whole life and he's accepted it.

"When I get done at night all the stars are big and bright But then that's sorta what you're used to when you

Throw that rope and brand that calf dream of a girl in a photograph I got no home I got no wife but I'll be a doggone cowboy all of my life"

19) Running Gun (Marty Robbins): Lester craves a normal life but every chance he gets at it he is pulled back to the reality of his predicament. He knows with what he does that one day he won't be able to get out of it without something bad happening. His chance of something else could be taken and every night he thinks about it.

"I had barely left the saddle and my foot just touched the ground When a cold voice from the shadows told me not to turn around Said he new about my fast gun, new the price paid by the law Challenged by a bounty hunter, so I turned around to draw"

It get's lonely and Lester yearns for normalcy. He wants to settle down, have someone he can just be with. He does date around if he can but it never gets past anymore than a few dates because he can't bring them home for reasons. It builds up and Lester despises his brothers sometimes for taking that away from him, he mourns his freedom, love, himself, and dreams of what could be.

20) Country Squire (Tyler Childers): Wants a wife and a humble way of living, wants to build a life with someone he loves. He wants a partner, he just wants to stop being lonely.

"I was up for hours this mornin' Pullin' traps 'fore I said goodbye I plan to tan myself a fox hide And hang it on my darlin' bride

'Cause they tell me that it's gonna be a big one And the snow is settin' in And I don't want her cold while I ain't at home The way that I've been"

21) Ever Lovin' Hand (Tyler Childers): Lester has a lot of distanced relationships because of the whole wax town thing, he often isn't allowed much more than a few dates and some bedroom stuff, it's never strung out for long. So often even when he's with someone he's not really with them.

"It gets so hard out on the road But I go it alone 'cause I'm your man I have got you on my mind And my ever lovin' hand

For a moment, you were here The moment passed and you were gone Leavin' me to clean the mess That you clearly helped to cause"

22) All Your'n (Tyler Childers): He's very giving when he's with someone and he yearns to be able to fully give himself to someone. Often thinking about someone and he's smitten fast, worships his partner and dotes on them in the ways he can.

"The goddess in my Days Inn pen The muse I ain't refusing The part of me that ain't around I'm always talking to"

23) Pay No Rent (Turnpike Troubadours): Craves time with people and is the type to stay up late with people, hates when things are cut short so he tries to drag them out. Could never make someone feel that they'd have to work or earn his attention and makes it known, doesn't understand how he could ever get a good situation if he tried but somehow luck manages to get on his side at times.

"Are you cracking jokes with the common folks? Are you serving to the well-to-do? Well I traveled round and I ain't found nobody quite like you And is all this living meant to be or a happy accident?"

24) Gemini (Tyler Childers): He's lost and has been for a while but he's still trying, part of him wants to settle part of him wants to roam, he's scattered. He knows that maybe when he gets out he'll never be back but he can't seem to care, he allows himself to think about being selfish.

"The road goes on forever, the part it will tend To run forever if ya never let it end I got a part of me that's wonderin' when I'll finally kick the urge to roam"

25) Honky Tonkin' (Hank Williams): Easy going and fun is Lester, his only chance at something is outside of Ambrose and he makes the most of it when he can. He's popular at places he frequents and often finds someone to partner with.

"We're goin' to the city, to the city fair If you go to the city baby, you will find me there And we'll go honky tonkin', honky tonkin' Honky tonkin', honey baby We'll go honky tonkin' 'round this town"

26) Red River Valley (Marty Robbins): Loss is inevitable and Lester knows that, he wishes he could leave with them. With them it's not only the loss of the person but so many opportunities, he can only hope to live in their memories.

"Then come sit by my side if you love me Do not hasten to bid me adieu Just remember the Red River Valley And the cowboy that's loved you so true"

27) In The Valley (Marty Robbins): Lester has such a fear of abandonment, he laments for what he could have and pines for what he did have.

"I will weep like the willow That weeps in the valley, I'll be lonesome until you return"

28) Tennessee Waltz (Roy Acuff): Blames Bo and Vincent for his loneliness, he's lost everything to them and is reminded of it often.

"I remember the night and the Tennessee Waltz Now I know just how much I have lost Yes, I lost my little darlin' the night they were playing The beautiful Tennessee Waltz"

[liquorisce]

what if in the priest au, mikasa decides to leave because she knows that she's heavily in love with father jaeger and she doesn't want to ask for too much plus everything they're doing is wrong in so many aspects. she decides to just write father jaeger a letter because after all they were once friends and she thinks he needs to know that she still see him as one. she doesn't tell anyone her departure except for the person in charge of the dorms and so she left no traces of her. when eren notices how he's not seeing mikasa that day, no black hair, black eyes, heavy clothes, and sweet smiles he thought nothing of it maybe she'll come later at night??? maybe she's busy or something just came up so he focused in his work not until she heard some girls talking about how someone left and he heard mikasa's name and he panicked he literally jogged up the dormitory, everything is confirmed and all he could say is "i see." he doesn't even know if he's depressed or angry, all his energy drained from him he decided to go up his quarters and he saw her letter, right under his fucking door he didn't even noticed earlier when he went to work because he's literally just thinking of her, he read the letter and that became his last straw, father jaeger cried.

p.s. but because i am a fan of angst/fluff i don't want them to end just like that, in every au i think they deserve to be happy i am such a sucker for them

Shit I love this so much 🥺🥺🥺 (also your note at the end lol em stans can’t escape angst it’s who we are)

Anyway, I think he’ll find her.

Yea, that’s right, he’ll get back on his motorcycle, leather jacket and all, and go looking for her, bc he knows his precious girl who’s never left this town and barely seen the outside world couldn’t have gotten far.

And Eren’s really intimidating when he wants to be, he finds that Sister who was in charge of the dorms and wrings every detail from her mouth. “She seemed… upset,” she confesses to him. “Then why did you let her go?” He spits out, unable to control his anger.

“We can’t just keep her here against her consent. She’s above 18,” she says, defensively.

“We can review your decision-making capabilities another time,” he snaps, not caring how rude he sounds, “Did she tell you which way she was going?”

She shakes her head, uselessly.

He eventually figures it out. He heads to the bus stand and asks at the ticket office, putting on his most priestly face of concern when he says he’s just concerned for the well-being of one the girls, the pretty one, dark-haired, dark-eyed with the angel face.

She took the bus to the nearest city, he finds out and much to his luck he knows that city like the back of his hand. It was a big part of his “explore the world” phase so he knows where exactly she could have gone with the money she probably had.

He’s like a man possessed, he asks at all the little food joints he used to frequent, shows them her picture and ignores the glint of appreciation in their eye when they admire it. Eventually one of them says, “… Yeah, she came in to grab dinner. A shy thing, had to tell her to speak up, she could barely tell me what she wanted to order.” He chuckles, oblivious of Eren’s darkening mood. Eren had no interest in listening to him speak about Mikasa as if he actually knew her.

“Do you think she’s staying around here?”

The man nods. “There’s two super low budget motels around here, it’s got to be one of them. Most of our customers usually come from there.”

Eren lucks out at the first one. The man at the reception knew who he was talking about immediately, “The pretty young thing in room 18,” he says with recognition. “… And who are you?”

“Ah, I’m her boyfriend,” he lies smoothly, bc they’d never talked about it, never put pretty names on their secret relationship. “We were supposed to meet in the city, but she lost her phone I think, so I’ve been trying to find her.”

He eyes him suspiciously, or jealously Eren thinks, bc he’d been hoping he could pay a visit to the single young woman himself. He grits his teeth as he takes in the kind of establishment Mikasa had chosen, downright seedy with no semblance of security (good for him) , the kind of place married men would probably come to consort with hookers or pretty faces ten years younger than their wives.

Eventually he finds himself in front of room 18, and he can hear the faint noise of TV coming from within. He can’t help the small smile on his face bc he knows she’s never been allowed to watch TV in that restrictive hellhole.

As soon as he knocks the TV goes quiet. He can hear the faintest shuffle, panicked breathing from behind the door.

He rests his head against the door and murmurs, “I know you’re in there, Mika. Don’t hide from me.”

She’s so obedient, even though everything in her is fighting to keep the door closed, she opens it, because that’s what he asks of her.

He has her pinned against the wall so fast, she can barely react, but he wants her where he can see her and where she can’t run away from him. It’s only been a day since he’s seen her, but he looks at her like a starved man, drinking in her guilty gaze, the dried tear tracks on her pretty cheeks, her bitten lips.

His hands find purchase on her hips, thumbs stroking lightly underneath her sweater. She sighs before she can help herself, a ridiculous kind of relief pouring through her. This was entirely her own doing, she’d made this decision to up and leave bc she was being torn apart from the inside - her faith on one side and her inexplicable devotion to this man on the other. (but what is the meaning of her faith without him?) But leaving only felt worse, she’d felt as she had when she was 9, empty, meaningless.

His lips ghost over hers, and he’s so quiet, she shivers, bracing for the anger she probably deserves. She’d take it all, any punishment, but nothing soothes her like his presence. She’d been an awful wreck since she left that place, jittery, afraid, unable to eat, but seeing him show up at her door, his hair wind-ruffled, eyes burning with unnamed emotion… it makes her feel so many things.

When he speaks finally, it’s a murmur, one of restrained anger, and a maddening longing, a simple question - “… Did you really think I wouldn’t find you, Mika?”

- ded -

[kiiboslostahoge]

Hi hi!! If your request are open, can you please write lee zhongli & ler thoma? hehe

Sure! I'm so sorry for how late I answered this, I was kinda confused what scenario to do for this one, but I eventually got some inspiration. So enjoy pt. 2 of "Zhongli is super cool and scawy until he's tickled".

Warnings: Tickling. Nothing else.

Notes: Семь пятниц на неделе: Seven fridays in a week. Russian saying for when someone is lazy and isn't putting in any effort.

Без труда не вытащишь и рыбку из пруда: Without effort, you won't even pull a fish out of a pond. Russian saying for 'no pain, no gain'. In context, Thoma is telling Zhongli to try harder if he wants to escape, but we all know zhongli secretly likes it~

Thoma had been excited to meet Zhongli.

Why wouldn't he be? He'd spent ages listening to Childe, Hu Tao, and the Traveler ramble about the old man. It was safe to say his expectations were high, and they weren't disappointed.

However, he couldn't help but find the man a bit too serious. It was as if stone itself had decided to don the mask of a man. Zhongli was perfect, but this trait wasn't always a good one.

He never stuttered. He never tripped. He never, ever engaged in an act as "childish" as unrestrained laughter. It was as if a god was attempting to don the mask of a human and failing miserably.

Thoma, of course, didn't want to criticize people whose situations he didn't understand. Hu tao only advertised her business to raise awareness of the principle that death ought not to be treated as taboo, and nobody could ask Childe why he fought so much after learning of the horrors the harbinger had seen.

So Thoma waited for the other man to loosen up. That never happened. He set his expectations as low as possible and waited for the man to agree to go to a restaurant with him and the rest of their team, aka Hu tao and Childe, in hopes that he would be able to witness the consultant forgetting his Mora. That didn't happen either. One day, Thoma decided to work up the courage to ask Hu tao about this. Her answer:

"I dunno why he's so uptight either! Ask Childe or Lumine, they have this weird inside joke about him acting so human, dunno why."

So he did just that. Lumine had called in some weird favor from the harbinger to get him to tag along with her to Wanmin Restaurant and pay for Paimon's addiction, and Thoma saw opportunity.

"Hello, please excuse my interruption," he said.

"Interruption excused. Now then, feel free to order whatever you want! Tortellini here is paying after all," She winked at him, a signal that she would indeed appreciate it if he ordered everything on the menu.

"Sure, comrade, after all, I recently discovered that due to the little stunt Signora pulled in Lyue, this should all be off of her budget. However, due to her "unfortunate" passing, this means that it comes off of the Dottore's budget. Maybe if I waste his "research funds", he'll finally agree to fight me with full force!"

"Happy to know that dickwad is sad about this, Upset to know that you're not. Eh, you can't win all the time, I guess," Lumine shrugged.

"Actually-"

"I think our comrade here wants two servings of everything on the menu. Right, traveler?"

"Of course he doesn't. He wants three servings of everything on the menu."

Thoma, who didn't realize exactly how much they wanted, made an incredibly stupid statement.

"Five please. Waka eats a lot, largely due to his overworking tendencies."

Lumine and Childe shared a look that spelt nothing but trouble.

"You know, when I said five, I didn't know you were talking about everything on the menu."

"Too late!"

A lot of food and some teasing later, Lumine finally started a conversation.

"So, why did you come here? Don't get me wrong Thoma, you're the platonic love of my life-"

"I thought I was the platonic love of your life! Guess I'll just have to give you the defense artifacts this time around," Childe said with mock hurt.

"You would be the platonic love of my life if it wasn't for Tortilla," Lumine amended, "But you're cooking is brilliant and Zhongli can cook anything liyuean. What brought you here?"

"Actually, Zhongli is the reason I came here," he said sheepishly. Lumine's next words make her decide she is a mind-reader.

"Let me guess, he's too uptight and just won't loosen up? Well I'll tell you a secret. Zhongli is-"

"L-Lumine, the glorious Tsaritsa will see to it that I am punished if a breach of contract occurs wherein-"

"Childe, your God won't care if I tell him how ticklish your boyfriend is," Lumine said, and Childe visibly relaxed.

"That's a fact, comrade! Confirmed by yours truly," the harbinger said, pointing his thumb at himself.

"Oh, shut up , Childe. You're way more ticklish than Zhongli," she grumbled.

"T-That doesn't matter in this conversation, does it, comrade? After all, it would be a shame if someone decided to be a sore loser after you finally win our next spar," Childe threatened, his stutter at the beginning the only sign of fear.

"Ugh. I swear, one of these days I'll finish building all of those liyuean characters, then you'll see."

"Yes, yes, then our fights can introduce more childe-ish topics."

"Go screw yourself."

"Zhongli does that for me, you know. The other day, we-"

"I beg of you, shut your stupid mouth!"

"Um, Guys? I don't exactly like battles against unknown opponents. Care to tell me any weak spots?"

"Ask Childe. He probably does it allll the time, just like that one time where he wanted Zhongli's attention so he whined-"

"N-Now who needs to shut their mouth?"

"Still you."

"Oh, whatever. Just go for his hips! Our favorite consultant will have a great time with that! He also loves it when you go for his knees."

"Thank you for the information, Tartaglia. Anything I can offer you in return?"

"Just call me Childe, comrade! Besides, I don't need anything in return! Just the knowledge that the dear consultant has lost his cool demeanor yet again is enough for me," Childe smirked.

"A-Alright then. You shneznayans are certainly... something."

"Comes with the name, comrade! Tell me how it goes afterwards, okay?"

"Yeah, I think I'll go see Taroumaru and ask him some questions first. You know, gotta clear things up with my boss!" Yeah, questions about whether he really didn't need to work 24-hour shifts every once in a while. He adored Taroumaru and all, but this "break" just made him wish Ayato was feeding him Matcha cakes. Totally not because the idea of a different hydro-sword user tickling him did things to heart. He was the fixer of Ritou! He didn't get all shy over a common method of fixing moods.

With that conversation in mind, Ritou's fixer approached the Consultant of Wangsheng with one goal: Friendship.

"You know, I've always wondered why you're so uptight, good consultant. I decided to try and let go of this curiosity of mine, but it became overwhelming, so I asked Childe and Lumine. Do you know what they said?" Thoma inquired.

"I apologize, Thoma. I was not aware that you too would consider my mannerisms to be "uptight". After all, Hu tao and Childe are known for their undignified and jokingly deceitful mannerisms. It has now occurred to me that they were indeed telling the truth about my demeanor being considered "irregular". I will read up on the proper way to carry oneself in the future, and shall try to emulate said demeanor."

Thoma decided to never trust Lumine's opinion. First Childe, "He's just like you but less malewifey! C'mon, don't look at me like that, he's not gonna challenge you to a duel on the first encounter!"(Childe had in fact challenged him to a duel on the first encounter.) Now this, Thoma wanted to show this kind of thing to his favorite little puppies whenever they barked at him for saying something like "Ara Ara!". Waka had told him that was a way of saying hello but confidently.

"Even now, you're so uptight! So," he sing-songed, "Lumine told me that whenever you were uptight like this, I could use some of my magic as the fixer of Ritou! And she had a great idea! She told me you were..." Thoma paused for dramatic flair.

"Ticklish! I happen to find myself quite adept at the art of fixing moods, Xiansheng~"

"Thoma, I'm certain such hasty action is not necessaha-"

Zhongli was cut off by his own giggles as Thoma kneaded for his hips. Perhaps he was a bit too hasty, going straight for the kill, but who cared? It was Childe's fault anyway.

"There you go again, with that uptight speech of yours! Luckily for you, I'm sure I can fix that."

"Thohoma, Ihi assuhure yohou Ihi aham mohore thahan cahapahable ohof fihixihing thihis issuhue mysehehelf," Zhongli giggled out embarrassed, his hands distracted with the task of simultaneously covering his hips and his mouth.

"Ah, but that's what all the civilians say! We know they can't do it themselves though, because I'm still around! Besides, you're acting as if there are, like your boyfriend would say, 'Семь пятниц на неделе'. You don't even want to get out of here!" He teased.

"Peherhahaps ihit mihihight occuhur toho yohou thahat peheohople fihind theheihir reflehexes impehedehed whehen tihickled," The consultant said, as if Thoma was the one trying to read up on social skills.

"That's a lot coming from the guy who doesn't ever remember his wallet. You don't even show up to team lunches! Are you really that horrible at remembering your wallet?" Thoma got sick of Zhongli's hands, deciding to fake-out his teammate with a quick squeeze of the knees before instantly moving to the consultant's knees.

"Wahait, Thohoma, Ihi- Ahck! Ihi've 'lohohosehened uhuhup!'"

Thoma noticed Zhongli's squeal mid-sentence as he accidentally scribbled across the older man's ankles instead of feet.

"Looks like you aren't always so dignified, are you, Mr. Zhongli? I'll have to see the full impact of that spot, for research purposes of course!"

"Ihi assuhure yohou, thehe sahame thihing wihill hahapehen- Eep!"

"How dare you. Mister Zhongli!" he fake gasped, "You lied to me. Your squeal got even more girly this time! Guess I'll need to tickle you even more."

"Ihi truhuly dihid nohot anticihipahate- Aha, Thomaha!"

"There you go again, acting so formal!" He tsked, quickly scribbling across Zhongli's finely toned abs, "I guess I'll have to continue trying to tickle that out of you! And if you really want to escape, you ought to try harder. As your boyfriend would say 'Без труда не вытащишь и рыбку из пруда!'"

"Ihi cahanohot- Ack! Cahan't resihihist whihile thehe ticklihing ihis saha- Eep! Sahaps awahay my enehergy," Zhongli said, squealing as a mortal, one who had no formal training in combat at that, punished him for his formal mannerisms with searing tickles.

"Aww, now I know why your friends don't take you seriously, good friend! It really is gonna be hard to look at you the same way after seeing you giggling so hard," Thoma teased.

"T-Thohomaha!"

"Hmm?"

"C-Cuhut ihit ohohout!"

"And what's the magic word?"

"P-Plehehase!"

"Alright then, I guess I'll stop," Thoma simply knew when his victims had reached their limits, to cross a boundary would be horrible and simply be horrid.

"How do you feel, good consultant? A bit loosened up, perhaps? Whatever. Let's continue on our journey of slaughtering hilichurls and catching crystslflies after you've recovered from that little tickle attack. In the meantime, I'll make some traditional Sakura tempura for us, alright?"

"Of course, thank you for handling the meal this time. Oh, and Thoma?"

"Hmm?"

"What comes around goes around."

[border-spam]

Leech Lord: Allies

Troy

Gar is about as native as a Pandoran can get, and has for years had a very soft spot for the bratty King.

He's old colonist, thinks his parents might have been with Atlas on one of the many failed corporate town setups that plagued Pandora 30-ish years ago. He was too young to remember who's banner they flew under when his family stepped out of the shuttle and onto the dust planes they’d been instructed to settle, just that things went wrong fast and anyone still alive 18 months later had needed to adapt quickly to what constitutes living on this planet.

He was drawn to the Holy City for the same reasons as most survivalists, it was an opportunity for safety and a roof over your head. Not needing to fight to eat or scrabble to stay alive is a blessing for most Pandorans, and he's one of the thousands who live within the walls who don't quite worship the twins as Gods, but praise them as holy... because the twins gave them a chance to have a home. Wether they are deities or not isn't a factor in the loyalty they've’ earned.

He's skilled with food. Knows how to spice spoiled flesh to hide the rot, pickle cactus root and delicate rock blossoms for long storage, or how long rakk wing needs to be slow roasted to turn from gamey string to meat that melts in the mouth.

Like most in the HC, he ended up where his skills have value and has ran the kitchens in the Grand Cathedral since its founding bricks were set.

It didn't take very long for him to find Troy in it one night - picking through ingredients and half finished dishes in the early AM.

While he'd expected to need to drop to his knees and grovel, the God King had seemed more embarrassed than anything, awkwardly explaining he hadn't eaten that day and asking if there was anything left from the after sermon banquet. 

His eager politeness had hit Gar hard, but his reaction to finding out the leftovers had been destroyed was what left a lasting impression.

Gar had thought the twins affluent spoiled little shits who'd hit things lucky on Pandora and been clever enough to know how to use their wealth to culture worship, so when Troy was genuinely upset to the point of disgust that food had been wasted like that? It changed his perception immediately.

This wasn't the reaction of some egotistical little shitbag from a wealthy background, this was the visceral panic and anger of someone who'd starved before, who understood the insult of food being destroyed when there were so many hungry... when he'd known hunger.

It took less than 24 hours for the kitchen policies to be changed and Gar's team to find out nothing was to be wasted. Uneaten and unused stock was to be transported at end of day to the Slums from now on, where it would "Bolster the flesh of the faithful."

Every time he finds Troy hunting through his kitchen at 4 am over the years, their chats grow a little longer.

By late COV, Gar's meals delivered to his sanctum are some of the only things God King Calypso still trusts enough to eat.

Tyreen

Xanshi Ur-Vendit is obsessed with the God Queen.

As her Saint of Marketing, he's got both her ear and a position of high authority within the organisation that he covets viciously, and takes great personal offense towards newer Saints he doesn't deem worthy of the title.

His pedigree speaks for itself, the man had quite a reputation on Promethea among the media departments of the high corporations. An expertly trained and cut-throat money maker that was the exact kind of egotistical, nasty piece of work that would be drawn to the God Queen's side.

Has direct tie in's with the esteemed Katagawa family, something he's used to his benefit throughout his career.

He fawns over her, she can do no wrong around him, and he spends as many hours of the day as he can trailing behind her heels like a lapdog, reaffirming her beauty and intelligence and infallibility with every breath he can manage between the underhanded threats he aims towards anyone possibly about to draw her attention away from him.

Hates Troy. Fucking hates him.

Too much of a hole-sucking little coward in his $60k three piece suit to actually do anything about it of course, but he takes plenty of his vitriol out on Troy's departments instead.

Marketing has such massive reach within the internal structure of the COV that he's able to throw his weight around far more than some of her other Saints, and regardless of if they actually like him, they tend to back Xan and his opinions automatically.

A huge amount of the conflict between departments and heads is driven by this imagined competitiveness, that Troy's people, Troy's chosen, must in some way be inferior to Tyreen's.

Xan is her right hand in his own mind, he's her holy knight. If she holds too much misplaced love for her brother to see how pathetic he is in comparison to her radiance, then it's up to Xan to keep Troy's people in place...

In reality? Tyreen isn't even invested in him enough to remember Xanshi's full name.

Seifa

Sei makes friends in low places far easier than higher ones, always has. People at the bottom of the ladder, folks who have struggled? They recognise each other. Doesn't matter where on the scales they currently stand, there's an unspoken nod, a side glance. You see your own - even if who you are has been lucky enough to change over time.

While she's never been in one place long enough to set up a friend network before that was tangible and not based on e-comms and data feeds, she's woven one since settling in the HC without really even noticing it was happening.

One-hand Jim in the King's Call, that high end rave bar near the cathedral grounds. Not so gruff now he's not drowning in debt, few more smiles while he's mixing cocktails.

Cleo in munitions stocks, breathing a bit easier since her son landed that underling role in the Mechanica, more food on the table with less worry.

Feliz and Irgo running deals in the western slum backstreets. Not competing against the HammerClaws for territory anymore since JK "got wind" of the shit they were cutting their gear with and had Vanguard waiting at their quarters for a polite discussion about unspoken laws. What Fe and Iggy are selling isn't exactly high quality but at least it won't rot your brain inside the skull.

Sei will tell you she's a lone wolf. She'll insist she’s a one woman show, runs shit on her own and doesn’t need others.

But watch closely when out with her in the city, check how often she buys a drink, how often it's not on an invisible tab the barstaff nod knowingly about as they hand her glass over with a smirk.

She's never asked to pay.

That should tell you plenty.

Seifa and Tyreen

- Early COV

"Ty, you ever wish you were born a guy?"

Of all the things Tyreen had expected to hear from Sei tonight, that... wasn’t it. She stopped reading the same piece of nonsensical math in the sheet she was holding to gawk at Seifa instead, staring at the other woman’s back as she continued to work on the data records they'd been passing between them all evening.

"No.. god. What, and look like Troy?" she snorted with a wince. "Nooooo thanks" Ty sighed as she leaned back and heard her stiff spine pop, waiting for a response that didn't come. She felt a pang of concern as Sei's shoulders sank a little lower in front of her, deflating.

This wasn’t normal, where was the bitchy retort, or joining in on insulting her brother? She shuffled together the files and stood, walking to her friend's side and sitting slowly next to her in the quiet of the twin's shared office. Sei still hadn’t responded, pretending to be completely absorbed by the notes she stared at. Ty cleared her throat with a cough.

"Uhhh.. why?"

Seifa silently reached to her side to take the offered files from Ty as she sat, pointedly not making eye contact, though the younger woman picked up on the redness in them easily enough.

"Sei, I need to have someone's hands cut off?" 

Ty pouted, hitting her mark as Seifa failed to completely hide a smirk in response.

"I need to have someone thrown into a pit? Huh? C'mon Sei, talk to me. You always tell me I need to talk more about things that me down, right?" she weedled, hands clasped over her heart as she faux whined, earning a quiet laugh from her companion.

"Oh god Tyreen SURE, if you'll shutup." Sei groaned, leaning back in her chair and running hands over her eyes. She was tired. Beyond tired, really. Always said she knew how to not outstay her welcome but had been wondering recently if that had ever been true. Day to day in the cult, managing people she’d never meet and holding the weight of more responsibility than she’d ever wanted was eating at her. Had been for some time. Nights like this helped, shooting shit with Tyreen, bitching, sometimes gently bullying Troy together if he’d decided to grace them with his janky presence, but still.. it was heavy, and Seifa was tired. 

"Ahh.. just the usual shit" she whispered, thumbing through the papers as Tyreen leaned a little closer, as much of a comforting presence as she could muster all things considered. An arm around the shoulder or gentle stroke of hair wasn’t an option. All Ty had was words and honestly, they weren’t exactly her forte.

“It's just like. Sometimes when I'm talking, and it's about something they think I shouldn't know shit about, like how Burgess is spending too much of your budget on expensive, low grade gear-assemblies when if we went off brand I can prove it would be better, they just zone out."

"It's like.. if they thought I had a cock, if I was 6'4, they'd be listening. " she added, eyes burning again.

She groaned, leaning over the table and resting her cheek across her folded arms.

"I got so angry. I'm used to dealing with it, it's always happened, but I just boiled over. This week has been.. long, I guess." she whispered, pinching the bridge of her nose as Tyreen watched quietly. "I ate into him in front of like, 6 other people Ty, couple of heads were there. That doesn't help my reputation does it.. that's just making shit worse. I'm sabotaging myself. They think I'm a bitch already without me starting a fight and stirring the pot."

Tyreen shifted in her seat, eyes thoughtful as she rested her chin in her hands, elbow propped on the table edge.

"Nah. "

"Just sounds like they're dumb. I keep telling Troy we need people with actual brains leading this shit Sei, if you're getting ignored cause you have tits? Haha. Wait till they meet me in person. " she grinned, a genuine act peeking through her usual haughty persona as Seifa chuckled.

"I mean my rack is way bigger than yours, you're flat as a fuckin' plank in comparison."

Asks are Open!

[overthinkingkdrama]

Exit Review: Hotel De Luna

I'm trying to find a new, quick, neat review format that I can use when I don't really have enough to say to give you the whole review. But let's face it. This blog hasn't really been about reviews for a while now. A lot of that comes down to a shifting of my priorities these days. But I definitely am not ready to shut this blog down or stop doing what I've been doing for the past years, which is giving you my completely selfish commentary on Kdramas and how they make me feel.

That said, he's a review for a drama that ended back in September:

Synopsis

Hotel Del Luna  is the 12th full length drama written by the Hong Sisters, and like many of their other works is built around ghosts, folklore, and the sisters' particular brand of adapting previously existing stories into the classic Kdrama romcom format.

The drama tells the story of Jang Man Wol (Lee Ji Eun, aka IU), a materialistic, bad-tempered immortal woman who is the caretaker to The Inn of the Moon (rebranded Hotel Del Luna to keep up with the times) the last pit stop for the sprits of the dead before they pass on to the afterlife. She competently undertakes this task as a way to pay off some heavy duty bad karma from her tragic and bloody past. After centuries spent like this, world-weary Man Wol strikes a bargain to bring hardworking, scaredy-cat and Harvard grad, Goo Chan Seong (Yeo Jin Goo) to work as her hotel manager...very much against his will.

Whether he likes it or not, Chan Seong ends up acting as the human liaison for this luxurious ghost hotel, unlocking the secrets of its CEO and her mysterious past, as well as finding out what his connection is to this magical world.

Review

Story: Hotel Del Luna is essentially a gender swapped Beauty and the Beast set up, but with gods and ghosts. Which, is absolutely my cup of tea. And there's some pretty on the nose symbolism alluding to familiar Beauty and the Beast motifs (like enchanted undying flowers, lonely compelling monsters in high towers, well meaning peasant [boys] indentured to said monsters against their will, fancy staircases...)

But after the first couple of episodes the familiar set up recedes more into the background, and the format becomes a straightforward monster of the week, unlikely partners kind of drama. We've seen this before from the Hong Sisters. Hwayugi does it and Master's Sun does too, to a greater or lesser degree of success. This is clearly the Hongs' comfort zone, and they're good at it. I even noticed a couple story lines that had been taken and tweaked from previous dramas (specifically the spirit marriage plot line which is reused from Master's Sun) and it felt like they wanted to redo some old ideas with a bigger budget and a more experience. For the most part it works.

However, the drama suffers from some serious issues with pacing and tone. While the tone issues even out over time, there is a fair bit of one off slapstick humor which feels disconnected and rather corny in the context of the grander narrative. (Think My Girlfriend is a Gumiho's running fart gag, but classed up slightly.) But by far the pacing is the biggest problem Hotel Del Luna struggles with for the entirety of the run. It feels like the episodes are about a quarter filler. An issue that I feel could have been completely sidestepped had the Hong Sisters had only 1 hour to fill per episodes, rather than tvN's monstrous feeling hour and fifteen minute episodes which only grow longer as the run goes on.

Acting: IU owns this drama. This is Man Wol's world and we're all just living it in, ladies and gentleman. It's not just the fact that IU is consistently the most visually enticing thing in any given scene, she gives the drama vibrancy and life and you feel the lack whenever she's not on screen.

It's not that Yeo Jin Goo isn't a solid young actor, or even that he does a bad job in the drama. He doesn't do a bad job at all. It's just that Chan Seong isn't nearly as complex or dynamic as Man Wol. He's very much playing the uptight straight man to Man Wol's capricious and charismatic anti-heroine, and as such he seems to rather shrink beside her. If you want to see Yeo Jin Goo in a role that stretches him and lets him show of his dynamism, The Crowned Clown was his break out moment of the year. In HDL he is more or less another pretty accessory to hang from IU's arm.

Because the Hongs have been around forever they've also worked with everyone, this drama is a wealth of cheeky cameos and familiar faces and the extended cast makes the world feel full and lived in. There were a number of minor characters I felt invested in and enjoyed watching their plot lines play out.

But let's be real, IU is the single best reason to watch this drama.

Production: HDL is gorgeous to look at. The sets and costumes (especially Man Wol's outfits, which she changes at least 5 times an episodes) are downright luscious. We've come a long way from the distractingly chintzy makeup and costume design of Master's Sun. Hell, it even feels like we're lightyears ahead of Hwayugi, which was just two years ago. The style and motifs of HDL feel like they have a real identity, that they all come from the same place. Real love and thought went into the way the hotel looks and feels, as well as the way the characters dress and the supernatural world they live in.

Feels: The biggest thing about HDL that I felt let down by was the romance. It's not that it was bad, or in some way offensive. Quite the opposite really. The romance in HDL was just okay, just middle of the road. They had an excellent template (Beauty and the mofuckin' Beast y'all) to draw from, and two attractive, talented young people to helm the show and it just...didn't ignite for me. I've seen people praising the chemistry between the leads, and I'm sorry to say I just don't see it. It's okay, it's not leaping out of the screen for me. It's...functional. That's it, that's the big hairy gripe I've got with this show (besides the filler and typical tvN bloat).

What I loved about this drama was the heroine. I loved Man Wol and all of the joy and fun and sentiment and sorrow IU poured into her performance. I felt like IU was establishing herself in this role as a Park Min Young-type force in the drama world, who can carry entire productions on her shoulders. Man Wol in HDL isn't Ji An from My Mister--she can't be; she shouldn't be--but like Ji An she is allowed to be flawed, she allowed to be cruel and miserable and petty and sometimes even wicked. And I love that, because we don't get enough female characters like that, who are allowed to be wrong and yet redeemed, who are allowed to be shallow and bitter and do the selfish thing, and yet still learn from their mistakes and do better.

I like that Man Wol's gray morality isn't abandoned half way through the drama, and her arc isn't dropped or subordinated to Chan Seong's. She is the main character, the driver of the story, and that never changes throughout the run. The "happy ending" of the story is about her, not about the male lead. There's really nothing that annoys me more than a drama that builds up its lead as having a dark side, a checkered past, a hair trigger or a penchant for violence, and then refuses to show that side of the character to the audience for fear of making them unlikable. Female characters especially get this sort of treatment all the time. Man Wol is allowed to be an ambiguous character, she is allowed to fuck up and be forgiven, and ultimately be rewarded. And I think that's fabulous.

Would I recommend Hotel Del Luna? For fantasy fans, IU fans, and misguided Hong sisters completionists (that's mainly just me, I think) I would absolutely recommend HDL. It's definitely one of the better Hong Sisters offerings, stronger on its own merits than Hwayugi, and the closest yet in my opinion to reclaiming the glory of Master's Sun in terms of fantasy romance fun.  8.5/10

[mericurialthoughts]

#20LakhCroreReliefPackage?

Our Prime minister, on 12th May, 2020, at 8:20 PM- that is at 20:20 announced a 20 lakh crore economic package in his speech of 20 minutes.

The Prime minister merely announced it, after which our Finance minister divulged the details of the package part by part over the next five days. Come, let us find out what this package  of 20 lakh crores holds for you, for a common man and for the middle class people, what are its benefits and disadvantages?, and is the 20 lakh crore package really worth 20 lakh crores?

Come, let us see

When you hear 20 lakh crore rupees, then you might assume that this means that the government will spend 20 lakh crore rupees from its coffers to aid the public. But it is not so! In order to comprehend this, you will first have to understand that there are two kinds of policies in economics- monetary policies and fiscal policies.

The monetary policies are framed by a country's central bank RBI is the central bank in India. Monetary policies basically involves fluctuating the interest rates change the supply of money in order to control inflation. This is done by the RBI. The other policy is the fiscal policy which is made by the government. The government alters its spending- which areas to spend more, alters the tax rates. These are the fiscal policies. The monetary policies are decided by the RBI and the RBI is independent of the government that is technically- in theory and the government formulates fiscal policies 8 lakh crore rupees out of the 20 lakh crores is a liquidity infusion by the RBI.

We will know about what liquidity infusion! But the point is that since it is a measure taken by the RBI, it classifies as a a monetary package. The problem is that in 20 lakh crore rupees of economic package rolled out by the government. It is incorrect to count the monetary package of the RBI. It is unfair to do this, because whenever we have talked about the economic packages of the countries across the world, we considered only fiscal packages.

When we said USA rolled out a 2 trillion dollar economic package- it only meant fiscal package entailing what actions and decisions the government took there. Germany rolled out a package of almost 190 billion dollars. That too, was a fiscal package. But the Indian government combined the monetary and the fiscal package together to show that the "government" had rolled out a package of 20 lakh crores.

At the outset, let us talk about the 8 lakh crores set to come in from the RBI. This money will come from the reserves of RBI. It is called a liquidity infusion because in economics, "liquid" means converting any asset into cash which will make its buying and selling easier. The money lying in the reserves of RBI was not in use in the economy. It is simply laying there. When RBI will make its reserves liquid, then it will seep into the economy and the people will be able to sell or buy it once it will be converted into cash. The RBI will do this by lowering its interest rates so that the rest of the banks that take loans from the RBI are able to avail loans for lesser interest and when they take loans at lower interest rates, they would be able to loan out to the companies and people at a lower interest as well and in this way, the extra money of 8 lakh crore rupees with the RBI. The reserves of the RBI would be injected into the Indian economy basically the money would first go to the banks and then reach the companies and the people. The money would come into the economy in the form of loans so the loans that RBI gives to the other banks and the interest rates that it charges them is called repo rate.

You must have heard in the news that the RBI is cutting down the repo rate, because this is the only way- through the process that I explained- RBI would slash its interest/repo rate the other banks would be able to avail cheaper loans and this is how money would be infused in the economy. This is a very simplified explanation that I have put before you for you to understand.

So basically the point is that the 8 lakh crores from the RBI would have negligible effect on the end consumer. So, out of the 20 lakh crores, 12 lakh crores remain which is the fiscal package from the government. Out of this 12 lakh crore, the government had already announced 1.7 lakh crore in the previous package. That is being recounted in this and there are several other things in this remaining corpus that the government has already announced earlier but they are recounting it in this 20 lakh crore package. An article in the New Indian Express tells us in detail  the schemes that the government had already announced but were recounting it in this 20 lakh crore package.

For example, the PMMSY yojana which the government had announced in the 2019 union budget. Let us get a section by section overview to find out what this economic package entails: First, for the MSMEs- Micro, small and medium enterprises-The government has decided to dole out collateral free automatic loans worth 3 lakh crore rupees. The companies would definitely benefit- but keep in mind- this is a loan. Money is being loaned out and not given out. There would be a liquidity infusion worth 90,000 crore rupees for the power distribution companies. It is a loan/loan guarantee in a way and it is being expected that the power companies would pass on the benefits to the consumers.

 Our farmers would be given a concessional credit of 2 lakh crore rupees This, again, is giving out loans at lower interest rates. A special credit facility worth 5,000 crore rupees has been provided for the street vendors. This too, means giving out loans to them. A supply of free food grains will be provided for the migrant workers for the next two months which would cost around 3,500 crore rupees and the government claims that this will benefit 8 crore migrant workers.

One nation, one ration card will also be implemented by May 31st, 2021. This is a good news but it is yet to be seen how much of it is implemented on ground. The government has also said that the migrant workers returning would be given employment under MNREGA. But have you observed how most of the things in this economic package are loans, loan guarantees or credit facilities?

Basically, the people and the companies are being given out loans at lower interest rates or without collateral. There is nothing wrong with this- it would definitely benefit some companies and some people but at the end of the day, there are merely loans being given out. Today, the person who does not have a job and is not able to bear his expenses will be able to sustain himself today with the help of the loans but someday, he will have to pay it back.

So, overall, in the long term, this is not reducing the pressure or the stress upon the public. A lot of people- At least I had expected that the government would transfer money directly into the people's accounts so that they would be benefited today- not that loans would be doled out with an expectation of repayment. The situation today has developed due to the lockdown by the government. It was necessary but not all the burden should be piled up on the people. Furthermore, such things have been counted in this economic package of 20 lakh crores which is basically your money.

For example, TDS reduction by 25%. What benefit does it impart? None, actually. Just that at the moment, you would get more liquidity in TDS, but, overall, you wouldn't get a lot of money. Similarly, EPF contribution has been reduced to 10% from 12%. This too, was your money that you were going to access later. But slashing that today would mean that you are borrowing that money from the future. This is basically the public's money being given out to the public and being counted in 20 lakh crores.

So a question would arise here is that 8 lakh rupees is from the RBI loans would be provided worth this lakh crores old schemes worth this lakh crores are being counted by the government our own money worth this lakh crore is also being counted. So how much money is the government actually spending for the benefit of the people, out of the 20 lakh crores?

The right answer of this is anywhere between 1 lakh crore and 2.7 lakh crore. Different people have made an estimation of this. Yogendra Yadav ji claims that this amount would be 1.7 lakh crore rupees out of 20 lakh crore rupees which the government will actually spend. Barclays is a famous financial services company of England. It has made an estimation that this amount is 1.5 lakh crore rupees. Care ratings has made an estimation that this amount is 2.73 lakh crore rupees. HSBC India claims that this amount is around 1% of India's GDP and not 10% of India's GDP that is, around 2 lakh crore rupees out of 20 lakh crore rupees.

So where is the 1-2 lakh rupees (that the government is actually spending) being spent? Out of this, 40,000 crore rupees would go to MNREGA which is good, in my opinion. 3,500 crore rupees would be spent on buying foodgrains for the migrants, as stated earlier which is another good thing as it would aid them. Out of this, 8,000 crore rupees would be utilized in Viability Gap Funding. That is, those projects that are not economically viable but are projects of social infrastructure which the country needs- for example, constructing roads in a village.

Overall, in my opinion, there is negligible benefits for the salaried middle class people. Furthermore, the government took some major decisions like privatizing the coal sector privatizing the defense production privatizing the power distribution and privatizing the space sector.

Now, I don't not adhere to whether privatization in these sectors is a good or a bad thing. Whether the decision was good or bad will be revealed by the implementation.

 Thankyou

Content Credit- Dhruv Rathee

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bl_gcq1PmuI