#Nothing makes me hate a person more truly

[adrift-in-my-own-thoughts]

Yknow, what hurts me the most about Luka and Hyuna's relationship isn't even the fact that after god knows how many years without seeing her, Luka's first reaction to seeing Hyuna again is to smile. Because he's so in love with her that the literal gun against his head means nothing, just the fact that she's there is enough for him, allows him to feel truly happy, and his first thought is probably something along the lines of I missed you or I'm glad you're here or I want to hold you, to hug you again. Nor is it the fact that again, despite however many years it's surely been since she last saw him, Hyuna's immediate instinct to seeing Luka in potential danger is to throw herself into harm's way instead, sacrificing her own life just to make sure this boy with so many health issues, this puppet of the aliens, can live for a little longer.

No.

What saddens me the most about their relationship is the fact that Hyuna didn't hate him because she disliked Luka, she hated him because it was too dangerous to care about him. The only other person she ever loved that much was her brother Hyun Woo, and she watched him die in front of her eyes when they were all still children. This forced Hyuna to learn and accept that loving someone was too dangerous, risked both parties getting hurt whether with the intentions go hurt both or just as a side effect of one being hurt anyway. And so this other boy she loves, perfect, innocent Luka? What other choice does she have but to push him away to keep them both safe? She says at the end of Wiege that he was her only weakness, and I don't think that Hyuna meant because he was soft or weak himself (although that most likely is also true, judging from all his health conditions and etc), but because she couldn't possible bear the thought of losing someone else, and she couldn't let him get hurt from losing her like she was from losing Hyun Woo, either. She also said she had to keep moving forward, probably meaning she couldn't be held back by the fear or burden of caring about another as well.

So she's basically forced herself into hating Luka in order to protect them both, and I imagine she's managed to push him somewhere in the back of her mind for the last few years somewhat successfully, and yet. Yet she still rushes to save him when she sees that gun pointed at his head. She's injured and probably desperately needs medical care and is who knows how important a member of the rebels considering what we've seen her do for them so far and she still just runs as fast as she possibly can in that moment to move Luka out of the way and take the bullet herself. Luka probably wasn't even aware of what she was doing until the last second, when he was watching the life slowly leave Hyuna's eyes as he finally gets to hold her in his arms like he did when they were kids once more. And he will have to spend the rest of his life knowing that Hyuna's last action was to make sure he could live, knowing that her last breaths were spent telling him to forgive himself and live with love. And what do you do with that? When the one you love probably more than you even love yourself suddenly shows up out of nowhere and you can't even say a single word to them before they're just. Dead in your arms after literally giving more than they had to save you.

That's what hurts me the most about Luka and Hyuna's relationship. Despite everything, despite her best efforts, Hyuna still loved him so much that she sacrificed not only her own life, but potentially others as well if her role within the rebels or her knowledge was important enough. That Luka loves her so much he disregards his own safety to just rejoice in seeing her again. That he would've died happy knowing she was still safe, and yet she died instead so that he would be the one to stay safe, without even a second thought.

[invisible-lint]

Fixing Spring: Chapter 2

Tamlin x Reader

Summary: Tamlin works on his apology skills

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1k

Chapter 1

You lounge in the chair, sipping from your glass to hide your grimace. The physical work you and Tamlin had filled your days with has been easy compared to this. It turns out he is truly terrible at apologizing. 

"Tamlin. For the last time stop explaining yourself. An apology isn't supposed to be about you. It's about how what you did impacted the other person." 

"I really think the motivation behind the action is important. I-" he's cut off by the apple you throw at him, hitting him square in the chest. He's stopped growling at you when you throw things at him, but still glares.

"I'm sorry I threw that apple at you. I'm growing tired of hearing you say the word motivation. It almost certainly will happen again, because somehow despite having a small army of older brothers, you manage to be more annoying than all of them. Do you think that is an effective apology? Do you feel better?"

He crosses his arms, glowering at you, but there isn't much heat behind it. 

"I suppose I can see your point." 

You smile sweetly, settling back into your chair. "I thought you might. And don't forget that you decided to arm me with the bowl of apples." 

"You asked me to pass it over to you!" 

"I can always find a spray bottle instead."

"I'm not a poorly behaved dog!"

"I'm not sure you want me to comment on that." 

He does growl at you then, patience wearing thin.

You sigh, expression growing soft. 

"Tam, I'm hard on you because I know you're better than this. I know you are more than capable." You throw another apple, grinning when he catches it. "And like it or not, it's either help you get your shit together or hope the male I unfortunately call a father doesn't decide the Autumn court should be bigger. Which neither of us want."

"Because you like me or because you hate your father?" 

"A healthy mix of both. Now try it again. Lucien is going to be here at the end of the week. I'm sure you can have a passable apology by then." 

You watch Tamlin as he takes a bite out of the apple, leaning against the desk next to your chair. He opens his mouth, about to practice his apology again, but hesitates, mouth quirking down into a frown.

"What is it?" 

"I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness. I'll still apologize to Lucien, he deserves as much. But when... if he chooses to forgive me, it is more than I deserve." 

You take his free hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "We've talked about the self loathing."

He shakes his head. "This isn't self loathing. I'm reflecting, like you said I should. I was so terrible to Lucien. And to you. I sent Feyre away, knowing the fate I was dooming us all to. And then afterwards... I was so focused on trying to protect her, trying to find a way to break the bargain, that I drove myself halfway to madness with the fear of losing her. And then I did anyway, not in spite of what I was trying to do, but because of it. I have done everything so wrong, and hurt the people I care about most. Including you. And there are no words I can say that will change it or fix what I have done. I am so sorry, but that doesn't feel like enough." 

"No," you agree. "But it's a start. We can't change the past, but we can learn from it and try to grow so we don't make the same mistakes again." 

Tamlin nods, carefully nudging your chin up with the back of his hand so that he can look into your eyes, sincerity shining in his eyes. The tenderness of the gesture has your breath catching in your throat. 

"I owe you an apology too. I promised refuge when you left your home. And I failed to provide it. I hurt you with the choices I made, and I didn't listen when you tried talking sense into me. I am so sorry.  I do not deserve the kindness or help you have given me, but am so incredibly grateful for it. There is nothing I can do that will truly make up for what I have done, for what a terrible friend I have been to you, but I will spend the rest of my life trying.”

You ignore the way your heart twists when he says friend, shoving it away to unpack later, a small smile forming on your lips.

“See, I knew you could do it. That was a pretty good apology.”

“I meant every word of it.”

“I know. And I accept your apology. Although I do think there's one more thing you should apologize to me for. I was so right about Ianthe.” 

He breathes out a small laugh, relieved that that's what it was. “You were right. I should have listened to you.” 

“Oh, that's even better than getting an apology. I don't think any of my brothers have told me I'm right, despite how often I am. Lucien may be your best friend, but I am your best advice friend.” 

He chuckles, ignoring the way his heart twists in his chest when you refer to yourself as his friend. Now is not the time to think about that, there's so much to do still, he’ll have time to think about it later. You're tugged up suddenly, pulled into a hug. You lean into the embrace, wrapping your arms around him, glad that he can't see the look of surprise splashed across your face from this angle. 

“I've never appreciated you enough. And I should have. What would I do without you?” 

“Probably wander Spring as a smelly beast for the rest of your life.”

He laughs fully, and the sound has you smiling into his shoulder. “It can't have been that bad.”

You pull your face away from his shoulder looking at him with mock sincerity. “Tamlin, that was the worst smell I have ever smelled. And I grew up with seven older brothers.” 

He laughs again, smiling at you fondly, an emotion you can't name in his eyes. You untangle yourself from his arms, taking a step back as you realize you'd do anything to have him keep looking at you that way. The thought startles you, and you realize something truly terrible; you're still in love with him. 

A/N: It's been a hot sec! I'm hoping to get back into posting more regularly, like 1 or 2 fics a week! I tagged people who requested to be tagged way back when I posted the first chapter, feel free to lmk if you no longer wish to be tagged in future parts!

@mirandasidefics @makershoe @lilah-asteria @rcarbo1

[eldritch-spouse]

Santi (and the icons) with a darling that, every time they have sex, as soon as they get inside you, via fingers, tongue, or dick, they immediately cum. No matter what they do, no matter how much endurance they have, they immediately cum so hard they have to stop for a bit. And every time they can go again, the same thing happens, and they don't know why. (I'm dying imagining the look on Cero and Kaly's faces).

[YO I FUCKING LOVE THAT. WOAH. You triggered something in me anon.]

Santi can't say this happens to him often. Or at all, honestly. It's the first time he's ever penetrated anyone and immediately finished. When he's not clutching you for dear life, grunting and moaning from the suddenness of his own orgasm, he spends a few moments wondering how this happened while watching his own cum drop to the sheets between your legs. This is about one of the most disappointing things he could do to a customer. But it was also probably one of the best orgasms of his entire life, if he's being honest. Somehow, someway, with heated cheeks, Santi apologizes smoothly and suggests focusing on you for a while now (mostly because, even if he's not flagged, he's still out of it). Hahah, guess he was reeeally hungry love... He's going to work to build more endurance, you deserve to get fucked properly without him blowing his load instantly.

There are so many things Rinx expected, but not this. The Icon shudders and garbles a noise like he's being choked when possibly the harshest load of his life leaves him, gripping you so hard it bruises. As the Icon deflates, he wonders how long it must have been to make this happen. Ultimately, he chalks it up to romantic feelings actually being the cause of his quickshot moment, growing increasingly embarrassed when it keeps happening. To the point where Rinx might spend a lot more time in foreplay stages, to both ensure you're having a good time and to let himself enjoy acts like thigh-fucking or even a simple handjob. He can't often resist the thought of just sliding into you for an instant orgasm though, it's a little too tempting when you're just at arm's length. He'll only work on it if you express disappointment.

Cero freezes. It wasn't just the scandalous noise he made, the beastial drooling or even the jitter of his hips as he had no choice but to hump through the quickest orgasm of his life. It was that he did this with you, the one person he cares to truly impress in bed. Cero doesn't fail in bed. He's got an enviable cock and he has stamina, he knows what to do, he's no novice- Yet there's nothing but shame in him when he feels his own seed seep through you, coating his dick and thighs mockingly. He doesn't even allow you to look at his face, shoving you on the bed face-down and working relentlessly to make you cum before you can think about saying anything. If you're smart, you won't tease him about it. For your own good. Cero immediately starts cockwarming sessions to try and fix this somehow, desensitize himself, but as soon as either one of you shifts too much, he'll buck and blow it inevitably. He hates this.

Livius is another one that freezes. He's also never had this happen to him. And, as far as he knows, he can't physically force himself to be a quickshot in order to mimic anyone. He's going to pay very close attention to how you react to this, because there's no way you're not feeling the bucket load he just drilled into you. His go-to response is to immediately shift into a demeanor that you might like. Whether it be domineering and harsh or pathetic and desperate, he seeks to overwhelm you enough to forget that even happened. When this repeats itself, adding further stress to Livius, he vows to fix it by changing you, instead of himself. How alien. Fine. If he must cum every time he enters you, then maybe you ought to suffer the same fate, then the two of you will truly be in synch, right? It's only a matter of time until he finds a way to achieve this.

Kalymir sees this as a defeat. You've defeated him by completely catching him by surprise. He may have snarled his climax and slumped for the briefest of moments, exhaling almost softly against you, but a rage so hot consumes him that the King gives you absolutely no second to mock him. He may be pretty spent, and the overstimulation is almost hurting him, his legs are certainly trembling a little- But Kalymir will keep fucking you through his orgasm, a gross and sloppy sound ringing as he makes it a point to have you climax as quickly as possible too. The more this happens, the more frustrated he gets, though the orgasm is always satisfying and good. He tries fucking you in every position, in every other hole, it's pointless. At some point, Kalymir just builds endurance to keep rutting you through his first orgasm, not even counting it. He always kind of ends up sweating like a pig and collapsing somewhere though. Doesn't matter, it's a workout.

You might think Zizz is a quickshot simply because he's the King of sloth, but he himself is kind of bothered by this. There's nothing he loves more than taking sex slow, you might be trapped with him for hours at a time. So he grunted and spasmed when he was forced to orgasm as soon as you took him in. He'll take a bit longer to recover from it, letting you sit plugged with his load for a bit, but Zizz doesn't freak out. After all, he has time, he can play with you and your now sloppy hole for a while, waiting to recover. Zizz accepts this rather well, and even your jabs are welcomed, but expect his own jeering and getting cum-soaked fingers in your mouth if you talk too much. He grows to like the sensation of immediately marking you, before any real fucking happens. Zizz is also lazy enough to grab you for a quick orgasm, then let you decide if you want to continue or just leave the encounter there.

Vorticia has no idea how this even happens. All she did was eat you out. She can't possibly be that desperate for sex. She tries to mask it as well as she can so that you don't notice it, but it's hopeless, she's always been very vocal as a woman when she comes. Fortunately, it's easier for her than it is for a male to keep going, so she simply punishes you for any snide comments and makes sure to proportion an equally pleasurable experience. She'd like to know why she keeps orgasming basically untouched just by inserting anything in you, but it's a brand new sensation, and she'd be lying to say that it doesn't feel amazing. Instead of being deeply embarrassed, the Queen experiments, thinking that maybe she can create an even more intense instant orgasm by perhaps penetrating you with an engorged clit. You will never leave these encounters without your own share of course, but Vorticia usually gets several.

Vesper takes it in stride. He knows he's not a quickshot, you just have insane potential. Your body is so perfect!! He himself has made many people cum as soon as they enter him, as soon as they touch him, it's only fitting that you sport the same talent. He relishes in this, always eager to milk as many orgasms as he can out of both you and him, he even uses his magic to augment the experience, to make it so that both you and him are constantly going over the edge from the smallest stimulus. It's an addicting loop that drives him completely feral and usually destroys any room the two of you get started in. This is technically kind of bad, because Vesper will exhaust you dangerously and might thrust himself into spontaneous ruts, bursting out of the mansion to ravage the streets after a lengthy time with you. The King will not stop singing your praises, always eager to take you to some of the most challenging people he knows, just so he can see the looks on their faces when they instantly bust their load.

[messrsrarchives]

Heyy!

So I recently have been rlly getting into snupin and platonic snily and just overall marauders-era snape (this is purely because of you lmao you convinced me) and I’ve grown to love him, but I still cannot STAND golden trio era snape. And I was wondering, not how you justify what snape does as an adult and teacher (eg threatening to kill Neville’s toad, making fun of Hermione appearance, ruining Harry’s potions so he fails etc) but why you think he does those things. I get that he had a shitty upbringing and was bullied at school, but I just still can’t feel any sympathy towards that man as an adult. Like you’re telling me that Neville actually watched his parents being tortured in front of him by bellatrix (and even if he doesn’t remember it cause he was very young he has still heard all the stories and the prophet articles about it) and so it would make sense that she or Voldemort or the deatheaters were his boggart BUT IT WAS SNAPE!! His teacher! Someone he should be able to trust! And hes his biggest fear😭.

Sorry about my little snape rant, but what I’m wondering is why do you think he bullies children? I LOVE that he doesn’t fit into the Good Guys or Bad Guys like the rest of the characters in this universe but god I just hate that man😭 (again only as an adult - marauders era snape is my lil depressed baby)

OKAY SO!!!! what i love about snape is that he's an asshole. like there is NO justifying his behaviour and i love that??? i love that we have a character that deflects and doesn't become perfect because that's so unrealistic. snape to me is proof that you can be on the right side of history even if you're not an entirely good person, and that your base morals don't necessarily connect to You as a person

saying that, i do have some thoughts !

the big one you'll see around is that he has to be mean to keep his position as a double-spy underwraps but i don't think i like that one much. i think it's truly just Him, but i don't think it always was.

for me, i like to think of golden trio snape as a traumatised man, because that's what he is - he's guilt-ridden, traumatised, abused and BROKEN. marauders era snape? he had a reason to Try. so for me it's very much, who would he have been if lily lived???

i like to imagine that, yes, he isn't a great person naturally but maybe if lily were still here (his one and only friend and the only person that mattered to him and who he mattered to) he might have tried more to be better? he might have tried to change back to the nine year old boy he was when they met, rather than staying like this. but he's so full of grief and he's so traumatised and he's so ANGRY and he has no reason to change. to try. what's the point of trying to be better if the only person you want to prove yourself to, the only person you want to look at you and say, "there you are, you're still in there" isn't there to see it? he's stuck really. does it excuse it? no. does it erase his harm? no. but godddd does it make a good exploration of this man who has Potential. he Has his old self somewhere in there but he's too angry and grief filled and lost to even bother trying, so he just lets all of those emotions overpower him and he just leans into the anger.

the anger towards neville for me is "it could have been you" which is sick, right? it's sickkkk to hate a child for the fact they lived and weren't the chosen one but grief never makes sense. so he's just a piece of shit towards this child but we can understand Why. and then harry, obviously we know why. hermione for me is partly lily and partly the fact snape is just mean

he's mean! and he's angsty! and he's broken!

but he could have been So Different. but yk,,, what's the point?

he's never belonged anywhere, no one really trusts him, he has nothing and nobody, and he has no reason to try to better himself because there's nobody alive that would care if he did, or even simply believe it wasn't a trick. so he doesn't care. puts up his occlumency walls and blocks him old self out because What's The Point?

that's him for me. an ass who could've not been an ass but he has no reason to try to fix it so he just lets it happen and maybe if he can let out all of this anger, he won't feel it so much himself (spoiler alert: wrong).

i love golden trio snape because it's such a raw depiction of what abuse at a young age and yearsssss of trauma does to someone and his entireeee character in my mind is just,,,, if ONE thing was different? ONE thing? then he could have been too. but nothing changed and nothing ever will change so you just have this character that you understand so much and you can see why he's the way he is but at the end of the day it just narrows down to him Not Trying. and that's heartbreaking. because he could have been different if he wanted to, but he didn't want to. what's the point?

(insert here: snupin and a reason to Try and boom, an exploration of who adult snape could be if he had someone there that made him want to Be Better)

[catstantin]

It's hard for me to call any character evil unless they're just... brutal and disgusting for their own entertainment. Deoksu for example. Or his side kick (you know the one he played marbles against, the one who was even more disgusting and slimy than Deoksu simply so that we'd root for Deoksu during the marbles game even though we were clearly supposed to hate him at any other point :'))

Like, I get what you're trying to say OP, but I (personally) would not call him evil because in my head he's not someone who's doing all this out of fun (as far as we're concerned since we know how Junho saw him, we know which books he reads and his reasons to join his game, which all don't point to him being a sadistic guy).

I think the whole point of the show is to show how there's something animalistic and rotten in everybody. And that especially despair will bring it to the surface, in one way or the other, but that there's ALSO always good. So much good, everywhere, so much kindness even during the most horrible of times. Ali, Gihun, Jiyeong, all the characters from 'our' group in S2... (suddenly I wanna blast 'savages' by Marina lol "we can be bad/as we can be good") So, yep I don't think it's unrealistic that he will get a redemption, but I also don't think this will end with the Hwang brothers happily strolling off into the sunset (there's a reason Inho did not go back to Junho. The games had a lasting effect on Inho). There will be some sort of consequences for sure.

I do hate people who try to explain away everything and maybe this is me doing that, but: once I start thinking about characters that intrigue me, especially 'open' characters, aka characters who aren't fully explained, they become so so SO complex in my head that I can't simply be like "he's not gonna get a redemption cause he's an evil villain". But I'm also not excusing his behavior. He's part of the problem and he's done truly evil things (like killing Jungbae, you could even pick up my argument from earlier and say him failing at spinning top on purpose is deliberately evil). He's a bad person. But I don't think he's evil, not in my way of defining that word. Evil as a character trait fits comic book villains or two dimensional characters that are written in a way which is supposed to make us hate them (like deoksu), or the bad guys in children's stories, but imo it's not something we, by now with more and more information being thrown our way, can use to describe Inho. Ilnam, sure. That guy is literally a comic book villain since he did not have (or didn't tell us) a real reason to start the games other than the extremely vague ones he gave us. He's an evil trickster with a brain tumor. He couldn't regain his humanity because he did not seem human to us in the first place. I'm starting to yap.

At this point I have a strong feeling that nothing season 3 will do will ever reach the potential this whole story has in the back of my mind haha. OP, don't see this as criticism, I really just wanted to analyze this character... Again. 😂

as much as I love inho I'm getting real tired of ppl underestimating just how evil he is and doing mental gymnastics to try and justify that he's broken and will somehow regain his humanity again

[ellipsiseffervescent]

I'm going to punch everyone who says 'females' over 'women'.

[cryptdfish]

“white mourning.”

[kareenvorbarra]

i'm forever caught between scylla (agamemnon stans who think he's a better-than-average mythology guy who only has fully consensual sex with the women he's enslaved) and charybdis (agamemnon haters who think he's the worst person ever and that achilles is much better)

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

men are so disappointing in so many ways i know i shouldn't expect most of them to be dignified humans but it's crazy. i need to get over this guy he's making my sense of self crumble even faster than it usually does. like he's just so unlike my usual type and i'm pretty convinced he's stupid and slutty and not discerning whatsoever. not to mention boring like i know even if i did have a chance with him he wouldn't Get Me at all so it's a bigger waste of time that usual and i'm actually pretty tired of men in general and definitely tired of parasocial relationships because they drive me insane for months typically. thankfully it's only been like 2 weeks if that at this point. idk. sigh. i know literally virtually nothing abt him as a person and ofc liking any public figure who you know nothing about is only setting yourself for heartbreak and disappointment to begin with bc you already know nothing is gonna come from it but. in a way it's almost addictive to become obsessed with someone and not be looked at with the same level of scrutiny. i don't think anyone in real life would ever try to get to know me as much as i try to get to know people who i'll never even meet. lmao! but that's the thing... idk... i have a lot of love in my heart and it consumes me and i reject my pride usually when i'm into someone. i want to know more... like VORACIOUSLY consuming anything with information about them involved simply because i think knowing someone is a very deep form of love but of course you can never truly know anyone. not completely. and that scares me i think which is why it's always probably been easier for me to never really TRY to be with anyone or have anything real. idk. this turned into me psychoanalyzing myself real quick but SOMEONE needs to bc i need to understand what the fuck is wrong w me.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[deoidesign]

Are you slowly going insane over your OWN ocs?

No, I've been infected by brainworms the entire time. Nothing slow about it.

But honestly, no... It's not really about my characters to me. I love my characters, of course, and I love telling stories, and I hope to keep making art of my characters every day until I die.

But it's not about them! They're not REALLY what I love, what I love is people! And I hope I can leave the world with a hundred different love letters so my readers can feel how much I love them for even one day longer than I am here.

My characters are a conduit through which I can give that to people. I want nothing more than to make someone feel a little more loved, a little more seen, and a little less alone. And my characters are the best way I know how to do that.

So for that, they're incredibly important to me... But they're not for me. They're for you!

So I hope you enjoy them

and I hope you can feel that I love you through them.

[bmpmp3]

yesterday in vocal synth news

[yaoianimeremade]

Soon im rly gonna do it

[thismission]

major ofmd s2 spoilers but it’s kind of beautiful in a way to see the youngins call That character dying a “typical” bury your gays trope, in a show that is specifically about queer love filled with queer characters who have happy endings, where both casual and passionate gay affection is shown again and again, and always portrayed as something beautiful and tender and good to be embraced

[pardonmydelays]

feels so good to delete pretty much everyone from instagram and only leave people i actually talk to :)

[orcelito]

ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.

like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo

i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.