#Nothing in G1 is cannon

[name-is-tired]

Head empty just the thought of Starscream being so bored that he starts to go through almost all of earth's music. And then when he finally finds songs and genres that he likes he slowly starts to also have favourite artists. (Soundwave is aware of this new thing Starscream has going on but he thinks that he's gonna sabotage Megatron with music somehow but he can't figure out how)

And of course anything Starscream likes is automatically better than the rest. So when decepticons plan to attack some festivals (due to G1 shenanigans it's probably super normal for it to be a weekly occurrence), Starscream will already know if any artist that he likes is going to be there (he always keeps tabs on their activity and tours). So if they aren't, then okay no problem but if they are he's a hundred percent snitching to the autobots. Something like

Megatron: We must enforce fear onto the humans! We'll attack them at their places of joy -insert stadium or something-

Starscream internally: Wait that's where -random band- is going to have their first performance in 5 years. I've counted each second down to this very performance I can't let Megabum ruin this glorious moment for me.

At the Autobots base

Optimus Prime: Autobots I have called you here due to this anonymous message we have received about some Decepticon activity that's apparently taking place soon

Pops it on the screen

Jazz reading what it says: Megaglitch- yeah it's definitely Starscream who sent that, not really anonymous anymore. But why would he tell us this, it's not like him to care about human activity unless it's a plan to kill Megatron for the gazillionth time

Cliffjumper: Probably an artist that he likes is playing there, I mean there's this band that hasn't performed in 5 years playing there that I like, was hoping to go watch it anyway

Prowl: I highly doubt that that's the reason, we all know Starscream is not one to like anything that's from organics

Cliffjumper: Hey I know my kid (-cliffjumper is his papa I don't care talk to the wall-) better than you all and I know it has to be because of that. Hopefully the few good characteristics he has left from me means that it's also about the same band that I'm thinking about.

Ratchet: What do you mean 'my k----

Jazz: Dude total lore drop right there tell more later. But shouldn't we be going now

Optimus: It is decided. Autobots roll out!

After the confrontation there's now a video of the bands performance with giant robots fighting in the background being spread by the internet to the point everybody now knows the band

Cliffjumper messaging Starscream: Son have you seen it

Starscream: Seen what autodork

Cliffjumper: If you were here I would have grounded you (literally) but I'm to excited. WE'RE IN THE MUSIC VIDEO

Starscream let's out the loudest scream of joy which has now awoken unicron

Yeah idk I'm sick. Thought it was funny. Probs won't be when I'm better. You can rip cliff and star papa and son duo from my dead, decaying, cold hands cause I love it now so much even though it was just a crack little thing I thought of randomly when I was bored

Read rags they are going to be funny.

Hopefully

To the few people who like this cliff and star dynamics. I like you. You have great taste.

[plumdale]

[rabotimagines]

jealous cons sounds really funny, especially if they can't do anything but mald

TOP DECEPTICON MALDERS LETS GOOOO!

"Hero" GN BOT Reader x Megatron, Starscream, Blitzwing, Skywarp

Summary: Your friends save you from the Decepticons. The cons get pissed they missed another chance at you! Then you even kiss your friend on the cheek in thanks! (Scandalous, I know.)

G1 characters: Megatron, Starscream, Blitzwing, Skywarp. (The Autobots that save Reader are Optimus, Bluestreak, Tracks, and Hound!)

Genre/Theme: Cross faction Jealousy

Warnings: Blitzwing is a menace and mentions thinking of ripping readers' modesty panel off. It doesn't happen, but y'know. The Decepticons being brats experiencing being told "No" for the first time (The Cons are malding real bad). The cons generally assuming they have a "right" to Reader.

Pronouns: You, Your, Yours

Notes: This is based on teasing/flirty Autobot Reader, whom the Decepticons get a bit too interested in. Reader knows what they're doing and they do it specifically to fuck with the Decepticons. Via kissing your Autobot friends on the cheek!

Megatron is mad- he's not just mad he is furious when Prime, the fool that he is, puts himself between you and Megatron. Now, if it was any of the other puny Autobots, Megatron would not have cared nearly as much. Because to Megatron, the average Autobot mech meant nothing. They were measly target practice to him! But Prime? Optimus Prime was not any mere mech! He was the slagging closest Megatron would come to finding an equal, let alone out on this rock.

But Prime saves you as he does- the withering sparkdamn fool. And Megatron finally nearly had you in his grasp, and Prime had to come and rip you away from him. Megatron has to pull himself back up to find Prime still holding you against his own frame. "My hero!" You say as you smile the blasted way you do when you look at the other Autobots and you- Megatron can not hide his scowl when you throw your arms around Primes frame and kiss him on the side of his battle mask. Primes optics brighten and widen, and his sparkdamned plating even fluffs under your affections.

Megatrons cannon starts humming loud in response to his own emotional receptors and his own blindly consuming urge to shoot then and there. But Megatron knows he's lost- and that just makes his cannon start smoking in barely restrained murderous indent. "This isn't over Prime!" Megatron snarls out with a digit pointed firm at him. Megatron growls and calls for the Decepticons to retreat. And in his still stewing rage, Megatron internally begins making new plans for the next opportunity he has to try and obtain a hold of you.

Megatron would not come so close to getting a hold of you again and fail twice. Prime wouldn't know what hit him!

-

Starscream is positively fuming! He'd gotten a hold of you again, and he'd made sure those fragging terror twins were busy when he did it. But the fragging praxian stopping him! Not even the battle computer- it was the sparkdamn annoying one! Starscream openly glares at where you two were standing next to one another. You just smile the infuriating way you do at the Autobots. "My hero!" You exclaim, and Starscream bafflingly watches you throw your arms around the praxian- and you even kiss him on the cheek!?

The praxians optics widen and brighten quickly. And his dumb little insignificant door sensors hike high and start twitching. He smiles like a fragging imbecile and even laughs. Laughs about it! Starscream's engines growl hot in righteous fury. How dare this little insignificant praxian Autobot pede solider get in between Starscream and his claim on you!? Starscream had every fragging right in taking you apart, plate by plate for everything you'd put him through! And he almost had you- no, he did have you! And you got ripped right out of his grasp.

And Starscream is positively fragging seething about it. Starscream clenches his servos so tight his joints creak. His wings raise high at an angle, promising violence of the highest intensity. And Starscream knows he needs to retreat because they'd lost. He'd lost. Starscream bares his denta and has to force himself to turn on a pede and retreat. Starscream is irate but he's decided to start scheming once more- if Starscream couldn't get you alone on the battlefield naturally he'd just have to figure out how to distract your fellow sparkdamn Autobots- then you'd be all his for the taking.

If there was one thing Starscream was, it was tenacious. And he wasn't about to stop before he had you in his grasp.

-

Blitzwing was having a fragging good day- a really good one! He'd smashed some buildings, made the puny humans run like the vermin they were. He even smashed up a few Autobots! Oh, and then- and then! He got into a fight with you, and he started winning. Actually winning. Blitzwing actually managed to pin you down, and he was going to rip your modesty panel right off of you- and then Blitzwing gets hit hard and knocked down. And he's lost his fragging grip on you-! It ends with Blitzwing on his aft and you having gotten away from him.

You're standing next to the Autobots discount triple charger! You're brushing the dirt off your frame all before you throw your arms around the blue mech "My hero!" Then you even kiss him on the cheek! The mech jerks and pulls away from your touch and wipes his own cheek- is he stupid? His plating fluffs, and he crosses his arms over his chassis to turn and glare at Blitzwing instead. But Blitzwing had wings, so he knows exactly what it means when the mechs wings rank up high and fan out. And all three of Blitzwing's engines rumble because he was not a happy mech.

Slagging sparkdamnit all! Blitzwing had you right there! You were even under him already- But No! The knock-off poser had to go and get involved and mess everything up for Blitzwing. Whatever! Blitzwing's broken Mr. broody blue over there's frame before! Blitzwing just had to do it again, and then he'd have you all to himself. Except now you're brandishing your own weapon, and now Blitzwings gonna have to pin you all over again! Gah!! Why the in the pit did this reject have to ruin everything for Blitzwing! Blitzwing rushes forward with a shout- and skids to a stop right before he picks up any real momentum because Megatrons calling for retreat! Blitzwing takes one long look at you two before vowing to rip the blue mechs wings off the next chance he got before taking off.

Blitzwing wasn't gonna stop till he had you back under him where you belonged!

-

Skywarp's laughing when you miss another shot on him when he warps. This was going great! He had you alone out here away from the other Autodorks, and he was actually wearing you down! Now he just needed to grab you- Skywarp warps close and latches onto your waist only he stops and cycles his optics because uh- there's another mech on his left- and another on his right- There's three of you suddenly right in front of him!? The two versions of you on his side push forward and get into Skywarp’s faceplate, making him let go of the you he was holding. huh!? Is this one of Skywarps reflux recharges?! Both versions of you grin and then just- disappear!?

Skywarp cycles his optics, and his gaze snaps to the you a ways away. Where you're now standing next to the green Autobot scout. Aw, frag it all! He used his sparkdamn illusions on Skywarp! "You little-!" Skywarp stops short when you turn towards the jeep and throw your arms around him.

"My hero!" You sing all before- kissing the grounder on the cheek!? Wha-?! The grounders' optics brighten, and his plating ruffles up. He even rubs the nape of his neck cables all shy and slag- What the frag!? That should be Skywarp! Not some dirty green hippie grounder who can't keep his olfactory in his own business! Skywarp's wings slant, and he's imagining exactly what cavern he's gonna drop this fragging jeep over-

And his HUDs flashing that Megatron ordered a retreat! "Slag it all!" Skywarp growls before turning back to the two of you and pointing at you. "Next time, gorgeous!" Then the jeep steps in front of you- and oh, Skywarp so wants to rip his fuel tank out for it. His HUD flashes again, and Skywarp flashes a rude gesture at the jeep all before warping away. He almost had you! Frag! Skywarp just needed to get you alone again- Skywarp could do that! Easy!

Skywarp just needed to do that, and he'd have you all to himself!

[tinydefector]

Hello! How are you? This is my first time requesting so I hope this is okay, but can I request a shorter scenario g1 Optimus, Ratchet, Jazz and Ironhide with a human s/o lives for chaos? They would point at Megatron and say ‘bitch’ just for the reaction. 🩵

Cursing Megatron out

Ps I'm sleep deprived af it's 12am right now and just finished this so enjoy.

Word count: 2.3k

Warning: description of fighting, swearing

Masterlist

Ratchet masterlist

Ironhide masterlist

Jazz masterlist

Optimus prime Masterlist

________________

Optimus Prime

They yell loudly as Megatron goes to grab them, they smash him in the face with a tire iron as he is then tackled by Optimus. The Decepticon leader had ruined their date night. They flip him off as Optimus throws Megatron across the ground, his servo wraps around them quickly pulling them closer as they scramble up onto his shoulder. "Eat shit and die Fuck face!" They yell at Megatron. 

Optimus clutched their small form protectively against his plating, battling protocols roaring. Had circumstances been different, the Prime would have roared in fury at your fierce defence against the tyrant but he was dealing with trying to keep them safe. 

Megatron howled, clutching a fist to his dented face as energon streamed between digits. His optics blazed murder, craving nothing more than to snuff the fluttering spark of Optimus' and the human he held so closely. 

"You've made a grave error this day, little beast. No corpse shall hide you from my wrath!" Megatron bellowed, brandishing his fusion cannon as if to raze the very earth. His field screamed promised agony that sent lesser mechs scampering for shelter.

Optimus vented his battle mask into place, tucking them securely against the safety of his backstrut. weapons primed and wrathful fields promising eons of hurt against any who dared to touch his Human.    

"You shall not harm them, Megatron. Leave. now. while your spark yet functions," Optimus warned in a voice low and in a heavy growl that sounded feral and unlike the Prime.

"Maybe you should get Shockwave to give you a facial reconciliation!, oh wait I did it already!" They sneer back from Optimus' shoulder at Megatron. Their teeth are bared at him as they snarl. If anyone else had seen the human they would have thought they were an animal.

Optimus suppressed an amused sigh at their show of fangs, so small yet fearless against the monster terrorising his people for millennia.  Megatron bellowed in foaming rage, lunging toward where they perched upon Optimus's armoured pauldron. "Insolent pest! I shall grind your bones to powder and force-feed them to - aggh!"

A well-placed shot from Optimus's ion blaster struck the warlord, toppling the tyrant shrieking to the dirt. "Last warning, Megatron. Leave. or face me," Optimus rumbled, field pulsing protectiveness intertwined with fierce Protection.  

With a snarl Megatron takes off. Once both Optimus and his human lover settle from the adrenaline and battle protocols. Optimus cradled their small form within his battle-worn servo, venting slow ex-vapor to purge lingering fumes. His optics dimly regarded their fragile body. 

"That was a foolish act of bravery, little one," Optimus rumbled gently, digit carefully brushing across their  forehead and down their cheek admiring their eyes alight with fire. His spark swelled at the determination.  

"Sorry, I..  I got caught up in the moment, he missed me off ruining date night" they huff out while pressing their face into his neck cabling. Their body shakes from the adrenaline. "I hit Megatron with a tire iron" they whisper as it slowly registers in their own brain.

Optimus vented a soft huff of static, equal parts worry and weary amusement filling his field at their admission. "A valiant act indeed, though foolhardy against one as powerful as he," rumbled Optimus, vocals warm with approval despite the danger of the situation. His optics flicker in fondness. “Please do not do that again” 

Ratchet 

 Megatron let's out a horrific scream as he gets electrocuted. He hadn't noticed the humans who had shoved the taser between the plates of his armour. "Get Tazered Bitch, not so fucking tough now huh?" They shout at the downed Decepticon only to be scooped up by Ratchet. Ratchet swept them into his servo with a staticky huff, deftly dodging the warlord's flailing blows as voltage shocks wracked Megatron's colossal frame. His field buzzed approval at their fearless defence of him. 

"Reckless sparkling! You'll deactivate my rusting struts with stunts like that," Ratchet grumbled, though optics shone bright relief beneath grizzled plating. Megatron howled upon the earth, shaking off aftershocks that would crush the stoutest Autobot, madness glinting a terrifying helm snapped halfway 'twixt beast and machine.

Ratchet backed swiftly from flailing reach, hoisting their small form beyond harm's sight. Ratchet takes off transforming around them before he begins scolding the for how stupid they were, how dangerous it was. And the fact Megatron would personally hunt them now.

"Have you any idea how foolish that stunt was?!" Ratchet's engine revved indignantly even as he sped across the scarred earth, his cabin vibrating with barely-suppressed wrath and equal measure relief. 

His sensors remained fixed upon the precious organic cargo nestled within his altforms cab, monitoring vital readings  "Do you want a personal vendetta from Megatron? Because that's how you get a personal vendetta, you glitched little slagger!" Medical scans analysed each minute shift of breath. 

"Reckless, Just...do not scare me so, small one," Ratchet rumbled quietly, worried and care etched in every bolt and wire. 

"He had it coming Ratchet, plus that Amazon taser is getting a 10/10. 'WORKS GREAT, I Tazed a large alien warlord and he screamed like a bitch, will in fact work on creeps on the street' " they laugh while they look in the revision mirror to make sure they aren't being followed by said Decepticon.

Despite himself, Ratchet's engine sputtered an amused huff at their tone - so fearless in the face of giants who had destroyed armies. "Oh I've no doubt - the reviews certainly won't lack colour!" Ratchet agreed wryly, subtly activating scanners to sweep their escape route while watchful optics remained pinned to their reflection. 

His vents sighed relief upon confirming no stalking signatures upon their trail, enemy or otherwise. Swinging wide the Ark's bunker doors, Ratchet transformed with care not to jostle his delicate cargo. Blue optics peered down aglow with a glare "Come now, troublemaker. No more outings for the next month for you while the oaf licks his wounds." His states while guiding them to the medbay. 

“no fair Ratchet!” 

Jazz

They cling onto Jazz as the bot hides behind a boulder, multiple autobots had been out when the Decepticons had attacked. They are held tightly by Jazz as he debates the best possible to get them out of there unscaved.

Jazz vented softly, hugging their form protectively against his plating as pedefalls rumbled outside their scant cover. 

"Ain't nothin' t'fear, li'l light. Ol' Jazz'll getcha outta here one piece, ya feel me?" he murmured soothing static against their ear, subtly scanning surroundings through plating. An opening presented itself, if he could provide distraction just long enough...

Pressing a swift kiss to their forehead, Jazz.” Go, sweetspark! Ain't got but a klik - I'm right behind ya!" Jazz called desperately over the roar of weapons, swerving and banking with abandon to keep pursuers engaged but alive. 

 "Hey ol' buckets 'a bolts! Over here!" With that, he peeled from cover in a burst of speed, transforming mid-leap to present the biggest possible target, tailfins flared wide. Weapon systems engaged, greeting the three pursuing seekers with enthusiastically snarky exclamations as he led them on a merry chase. His sole purpose in those seconds - buy precious time, before sharply veering back toward cover with afterburners blazing. 

They do take off running but stop as they see Megatron advancing towards Jazz. They aren't far from either bot and in a split moment of bravery or stupidity their shoe is off and being flung right at Megatron's helm. "Your shit ass piece of Junk you lay a fucking hand on my boyfriend and I'll rip you apart with a fucking Magnet and plyers, don't you fucking test me you dipper wearing, goofy as looking supervillan wannabe!" They shout. It make the whole battlefield go almost dead silent. " Yea you fucking hear my bucket head, ill make you wish you were rusting!" They shout again. 

Jazz's optics widened in horror behind his visor, witnessing your defiant act through static-laced vision. Fear gripped his struts like freezing polyhexian tundra. 

Megatron's helm barely shifted from the impact, regarding their small form with optics glinting cruel amusement. His cannon charged with purpose to squash resistance as pointless and fleeting as an organic.

"Foolish creature. Your lives mean less than insects" Megatron sneered, taking ponderous steps their way that may as well have been a funeral march. The field around him broadcast murderous intentions that sent even the seasoned warriors around bolting for cover. 

Jazz would not be denied. With a grief-stricken keen that curdled energon in lines, he flung himself between you and that doom-wielding arm aiming to end what meaning he had left. His field pulsed frenzied protectiveness tangled with pleas no words could voice. 

"Ya want 'em, Megs, you'll hafta go through me first! An' I been dancin' this dance a long time..." Jazz spat static. Jazz was quick to get them out of there grabbing them and taking off. It isn't until they were back at the Ark did he finally transform, arms wrapped around them as he gives the a peace of his mind.

Jazz clutched their body against his chest plates long after abandoning the battle site, fleeing farther than ever felt safe from those sworn to end all he had left. His engine roared wildly, fuel pump pounding faster than any sabotage mission's duration against the relief of delivering them from harm. 

Only within the Ark's fortified bunker did his struts unlock enough to collapse wearily to the floor, holding them close as grateful cries and static escaped in equal measure. "Don't you ever fraggin' do that ta me again, ya hear?" Jazz gasped brokenly at last, cupping their face desperately within his quaking palm. His visor glimmered tears unshed, relief and terror warning in equal measure. 

"Can't lose ya...yer all Ah got left in this mess. Please, li'l light...don' scare me like that." Raw emotion clogged his vocalizer to near uselessness, pressing reverent kisses between choked intakes. 

"He was going right for you baby!, I'm not letting the 3 tonne prick hurt you, so what I lost a shoe next time it will be a hydro flask of salt water and I hope it dents his helm" they state as they grab his face plate returning his kisses with fevor.

Jazz huffed a static-tinged laugh at their fierce declaration, so brave yet trembling in his gentle grasp. His cooling fans cycled accelerated drafts, systems still buzzing from terrors faced alone to shield them from doom's sightless gaze. 

"Frag if ya ain't the bravest thing this side'a Cybertron," Jazz rumbled. He pressed his faceplate into their shoulder holding them tightly, not willing to let go yet. Curling them protectively against the humming mass of his spark, Jazz vented shaky ex-vents. "Mah brave, beautiful li'l light...keep shinin' that fire, sweetspark." Jazz whispered raggedly into their shoulder. 

Ironhide 

 Ironhide shoots at Megatron. His human companion latched to his back as he uses his body as a shield so the war lord couldn't get them. But they were making it rather hard as they tried antagonising Megatron. 

"Damn did they build you like a shit box on Cybertron or did you pick this form yourself!" They shout out. 

Ironhide careened across the scarred terrain, engine roaring as his heavy cannons unloaded volley after volley into the Con warlord's encroaching chassis. Megatron's howls shook the earth, armour blistering under Ironhide's righteous fury for daring to threaten his human lashed securely to broad backstruts.

"That's it, slaggertits, dance for me!" Ironhide bellowed back at Megatron. 

Megatron lunged forward through a hailstorm of plasma, cannons charging in a frenzy to end lives denying his rule. But Ironhide spun on a dime, releasing another blast to cave in an optical relay before transforming ram-tight around you both. 

His engine pounded like the Pit below, field alive with devotion harsh as his bearing yet gentle as newborn sparks flickering against red-and-blue armorweave. When Megatron gets too close they lob a can of WD-40 At him which Ironhide shoots cause it to explode in his face. "Get sunbeam shitlips!" They yell in delight as Ironhide takes off with them trying to get to safety.

"That's enough outta you, squishy," Ironhide rumbled, yet his cannons sang in harmony with your unbound spirit. His mission remained unchanged - shield the light of life, defying all forces that sought to smother its radiance. Ironhide's cannon fire consumed the volatile projectile in a brilliant fireball, engulfing Megatron in inferno. As they take off leaving Megatron in a fireball of energon and wounds. 

"Right in the visual output, squishy!. Primus, I think I'm in love," Ironhide roared instatically, tires biting earth as he tore across the ravaged wastes well beyond enemy sensors. His spark soared like the smelting winds of Vos. Ironhide's engine purred a low rumble as his struts unwound, tension leaching from armour plating now safe. His field pulsed weariness, yet underlying it swirled pride and fierce gratitude for your indomitable spirit so small, yet burned brighter than any star.

"Can't say I approve of y'all's antics out there, squishy. But Primus if you didn't frag up that rustbucket good," Ironhide chuckled, copper-sheened plating creaking in amusement. Never had he witnessed such fearless bravery, nor met a soul so worthy of the praise.

"He had it coming, Ironhide!You're not going to tell prime are you?" They had just faced down Megatron and cursed him out yet they were worried over being ratted out. Ironhide's engine grumbled a tired huff, his massive frame unwinding into a sprawl across the barren earth. He transforms lifting them up into his arms

"I'd be a fool to deny you put the fear of Primus in that rustbucket," Ironhide chuckled. "But Prime's got enough weighin' his wires. Don't need him fryin' more circuits over our antics." A digit gently booped their nose, gaze softening. "Your spark burns brighter than all the Well's glory. Ain't no mech takin' that from you - least of all one as glitching as Megs."

"Our secret?" They asked looking up at him.

"Our secret, squishy.” Ironhide replied, massive frame creaking gently as massive fingers curled to cradle them against his chassis.

Taglist: @angelxcvxc

[love-and-war-on-cybertron]

most people ship Starscream with a reader who is just meek and one massive fawn response to being kidnapped, can i ask instead that once on the ship reader is just a MENACE? (doesnt matter who or how theyre kidnapped, theyre there now) Reader just antagonizes /everyone/ and likes to antagonistically flirt with Star? cus thats way more fun <3 (thinking of IDW/G1 but really any version of him works)

G1 Starscream is a shit, so I thought he would be the perfect match. Two petty bitches = EVERYONE else gonna suffer.

The first few days on the ship was nothing but screaming. Starscream assured them that once you had been tamed, you would stop that....

You did not stop.

The actual kidnapping had been quiet, making starscream think he picked the perfect little hostage to hold over the autobots. You would clearly cower in what ever box they kept you in, and beg to be released. Maybe even weep a little. Megatron would praise him for a job well done, and let his guard down a bit more.

You were not, however, the perfect docile hostage. You were just in shock. Once that faded away you decided to make it very clear you were unhappy about the situation. Starscream had entered the room, followed by Megatron, boasting on the fact he had captured an autobot's pet. You were mid escape, perched on the edge of the box he stuffed you in. There was silence, starring. Then you jumped on him with a screech. Clinging against the seekers metal, kicking, pounding and biting. Eventually, soundwave peeled you off him and put something heavy over the box to avoid that again.

So you started screaming. Insults peppered within the highest pitch you could reach. Your throat went raw, but it was worth watching them flinch and cover their audials. When you were hungry, you screamed, when you were woken up by their stomping around, you screamed. When they filmed a video, threatening the autobots with your well being, you were screaming in the background.

The only one you were quiet around was Megatron. His threats just felt *sincere* in the graphic detail he would give when telling you what he would do if you did not shut your trap.

When the screaming began to hurt too much, you turned to insults. Calling Megatron Bucket-head while on that hostage call had earned a laugh from the autobots and a fusion cannon to the face. Soundwave didn't know how to respond to you calling him the Dj wanna be. Starscream hurled back insult after insult till it was tit for tat. The only positive was that he wasn't hard to look at. Being around the cons more, you found them to be particular about their looks, almost as much as Sunstreaker.

Eventually you were banished to his quarters and his sole responsibility till the autobots gave them what they wanted. He sat on his berth, polishing his plating. Nothing else to do. He fed you, he let you run around (be chased by ravage) for exercise.

"Need a hand pretty boy?"

He pauses, head shooting up and fixing you with a glare, "What was that squishy?"

You grin, leaning against the glass of your temporary home. Making a vulgar gesture you repeat yourself, "Need a hand pretty boy? Looks like you could use someone to give you a few good stokes."

Starscream throws down the cloth and stands, marching over to you again, "Mind your tongue *welp*."

"Oh I think I would rather *waggle* it."

The Decepticon doesn't know how to respond to this. Your screaming he could take until he locked you in a closet till you tired out. Your insults he would just shoot back. This? He was stumped.

"Come on pretty bird, you don't want to chat?"

"Careful *pest*." Starscream hisses, "Don't make me silence you."

"Oh? Think you got something big enough to silence me?"

The autobots aren't surprised when you are returned only a couple days after being taken. But they enjoy bringing you along on future missions when Starscream is sighted.

[flyinguraniumrod]

Was reading a bunch of IDW comics and noticed a certain thing, that they wanted to implement, lol. It looks a bit stupid ToT

Just give him the two cannons again already ya wimps!! /silly

One ain't cool in the jet mode, maaann! (He still looks quite majestic aside from that, though, tbh, sksksk)

Yapping below the cut!

Seriously, giving him two of those (and making them be able to go over his shoulders) in TFA was a really great idea design-wise (+firepower), imo. One cannon, like here in IDW, looks quite silly in jet mode, LOL. Now, generally speaking, when it comes to most of the continuities... Meanwhile in robot mode, it just removes (most of?) the potential to use it as a weapon ._. Since it 'has got to be in the middle'. I don't feel like going through all the media to remind myself whether he used his cannon in robot mode rn xd

(Other continuities + the TFA design. Still looks amazing with one, of coursee, thoo. And not all of the designs would be any better with two of those in case nothing else was changed)

I REALLY hope to see a new version of Blitzwing in a TF show/series who has two back cannons instead of one...

(btw, his design, which I imagined for the universe that I had made up, also has two of those, sksksksk, even though it's more g1-inspired, da)

I also hope that we will get a show which has some Unicron Trilogy vibes when it comes to the transformers' weapons, sksksksk

Seeing a Seeker fire a thin blaster, which he has on his arm, and miss an Autobot all the time isn't always going to be fun, lol. I don't want too much of the "brave autobot scout bombolbi is faster than literal jets and he dodges each shot from their weapons" type of action, maan. Imagine if there were some more of heavier weapons and robo gore in animation, huehuehue (I don't mean the really heavy one). And yes I know that it's also a matter of the animation budget.

Treat this part as when someone is saying smth in post's tags, yes: Love how I got ssoommeehhooww a bit close to yapping about the Autobot plot armor again and yet I don't feel like writing that yapping session as for now. Also lol it looks a bit goofy, as I didn't know what other screenshot of TFA BW to use, in which he has his cannons down, aside from the one with Icy in ,,Velocity". Man, this guy, as in, most of the characters who carry this name, are such silly stupid idiots, lol (affectionate).

[kaontic]

/ So Carly, I heard you like usin’ guns. :)

English Version:

Megatron: What’s wrong?

Skybound Carly: Uh- N-Nothing’s wrong…

(I thought, he’d be bigger…)

*Stares at his scope*

(Wait, THAT’S a cannon?!)

(Okay, this is weird.)

G1 Carly: Stay calm. Stay focused—and you will live.

Skybound Carly: WHAT?

G1 Carly: Yeah…good luck.

*Leaves Skybound Carly alone with technically a grown-ass man*

/ CARLY, YOU BETTER KEEP A TIGHT GRIP ON HIM! O_O

[decepti-thots]

Question, cuz I feel you might know where to find this. In G1 it is said that Mirage is the equivalent to "Old Money" he lived in a place of great wealth that had big energon reserves.

Is it ever said where exactly he was from? Because fanfics always mention that he was from "The towers" of something like that, and I have been looking into the descriptions of the cities to see if one of them is mentioned to have big energon reserves, and/ or towers... so Is all that just fannon or is there a cannon cybertronian city with that characteristic? Is it ever said in cannon where Mirage is from?

So full caveat: my G1 comic knowledge is way more limited, so this could well be a reference to something in there I'm unaware of!

But as far as I know, this is 100% fanon. Old fanon- this is definitely LJ era or earlier- but I don't know of any canonical reference to a specific place like that. Mirage's toy bios etc also just refer to him as broadly old money, nothing more specific.

There is a place in IDW1 called Translucentica Heights, a rich part of Iacon shown as being towers, but that's far later than the term started cropping up.

If anyone knows anywhere this could have come from..? It's absolutely plausible it's some development on a throwaway bit of lore, knowing this fandom, haha.

[ozblok]

My 5 Favorite Bayverse Transformer Designs

5. Dark of the Moon - Shockwave

I'm not usually a fan of Transformers without an earth mode but this was just so badass. They not only made him a scientist but also a bounty hunter that hunts down his targets. His arm cannon is just perfect to me, he can change ammunition types with a pull of a lever from large blasts to smaller yet multiple missiles. His face is menacing with a insect like maw snaring out orders. He's even accompanied by a massive monster he created known as the Driller Bot forged from his fallen enemies and now a rampaging beast. I especially love the ribcage design in his chest, really gives him an alien appearance.

4. Dark of the Moon - Que (Wheeljack)

Personally an underrated character in the movies, yes I understand the problem with him being Wheeljack. Mainly the fact he looks nothing or sounds nothing like how he does in the original source material, but I don't care. I absolutely love the Albert Einstein look they ave him, I'll admit I don't see him as Wheeljack but more of a separate character "Que". He actually invented things to assist the autobots like battle modes for their vehicles, armor, weapons and tools for battle. They even gave him a lab coat look on his waist with some car interior and how he's just wearing tools on him just in case. Shame they killed him off would've loved to see more from him, rest in peace Que.

3. Revenge of the Fallen - Mixmaster

A good reason why I love the Bayverse designs is the USE of kibble from Alt modes to robot modes and Mixmaster is a great example of creative kibble use. Basically making the entire back of the truck become his arms which are equipped with massive shields for defense against enemy attacks and projectiles. To balance out this wall they have his a massive artillery cannon on his back which he needs to do a handstand to actually use it and it must pack a serious punch. His vehicle mode also comes with a decepticon insignia on the mixer and a custom hood ornament which was unnecessary but happy they gave him it. Plus he gets an upgrade from G1 cause instead of being the foot/leg of Devastator he gets to be the frickin head, my favorite constructicon.

2. Transformers 2007 - Brawl

I see Brawl as the weapon specialist of the decepticons, an equal to ironhide given to how many weapons they manage to fit on both his robot and tank mode. The tank treads and mine sweepers on his torso is yet another great example is creative kibble management, even storing tank barrels on his and rocket pods on his shoulders. His squishes head design looks grumpy and old, giving off a vibe like he takes his job seriously, managing to take on a group of soldiers and autobots but his death in the first movie. If Barricade got a redesign I'm the Last Knight based off a cop,I wonder if Brawl survived maybe he would've been based off a sergeant or a general.

Transformers 2007 - Blackout

This right here is my favorite decepticon NO my favorite transformers to ever exist. The very first transformer to be seen in live action and he singlehandedly annihilated an entire military base. His kibble of the helicopter appearing as a bulking vest decorated for battle, even using the helicopter blades as a kind of cape with the motor above his head. He even is given a minicon Scorpinoks who can be launched and stored from his back, it can be used for scouting or filtration in enemy lines for a sneak attack. Blackout is a soldier who tends to get his orders done, his isn't a fool like his massive younger brother Grindor who tumbles Everytime he lands almost falling over. Blackout is equipped with weapons such as the rear propeller as a spinning saw, miniguns, chest turret and powerful waves/pulses of energy. Ever sense I was a child Blackout has been my favorite for years even with his limited screentime, I praise the bay films for hooking me into the transformers franchise and giving me something to enjoy.

[definitely-not-karen]

Nothing like taking the g1 personality of one character but with the design of IDW in the setting of transformer prime

The amount of cannon soup in transformers brings me immense joy.

Transformers fans mixing and matching different versions of the same robots from twenty different iterations of the franchise trying to find a lineup that doesn't suck:

[tobiasdrake]

Orange League, Episode 33 - Goodbye Lapras!

Now that Ash has earned his Filler Archipelago championship title, it's time to start wrapping things up and finally preparing to release Pokemon Gold and Silver. That starts with keeping a promise to Lapras and reuniting them with their old companions.

Unfortunately, this particular Lapras herd are being targeted by a gang of poaching pirates, firing on them from cannons mounted on their ship. What's worse, the poachers have devised a new plan; When Ash finds them, they're using an army of Tentacruels to hunt down the Lapras herd.

Credit to the pirates, that's a good pick. The Lapras do their best to flee, but Tentacruel's 100 Speed far outstrips Lapras's 60. The Tentacruel are on that herd like a pack of cheetahs jumping a wounded gazelle.

Plus side, Wrap no longer follows the broken G1 rules anymore. Otherwise this would have been over in seconds.

Ash and Misty launch a counteroffensive while Tracey goes to get help from the local Jenny NPC. Misty takes her Water team and Squirtle to assault the ship from below while Ash tries to distract the Tentacruel away from the herd.

But. Uh. His Lapras? Is still a Lapras. Whatever Speed EVs he may have, they've got enough to counter it. Pack of cheetahs, wounded gazelle.

The Tentacruels easily surround Ash and hit his Lapras with Supersonic. It's not a great move at 55% accuracy but with a dozen being fired at once, obviously some are going to get through.

Ash is basically screwed. Misty succeeds in her mission, but even waterboarding the captain fails to force him to relent. Fortunately, just before the Tentacruels can jump Ash, the Lapras herd comes through with an onslaught of Ice Beams that effortlessly waste all of the Tentacruels despite Type Disadvantage.

So. I guess they were never in any danger and we've accomplished nothing here. Well, Ash accomplished nothing. Misty singlehandedly took down the entire poaching crew and trashed their ship in the process. She even releases all of the Tentacruels and convinces them to go in peace! Good for her! Way to be a responsible authority figure, Gym Leader.

But the herd appreciates Ash's gesture, at least, and welcomes his Lapras back into their fold. It's time for another tear-jerking farewell. So long, Lapras. Ash definitely couldn't have done this without you.

[fictionkinfessions]

Finding my old team hasn't been succesful so far. Honestly, I would sell off the biggest cannons I have to talk to Brawl or Blast Off again. They might have been huge asshoels, but that's how I like my team to be; nothing fake, nothing overly cute, nothing forced. I miss those guys, they're always a family.

--- Onslaught (Transformers IDW + G1)

[blueskyscribe]

SPOILERS and rando thoughts on Earthspark episode 8

So I had the episode paused on this opening image while I grabbed snacks and I thought, "It looks kind of like Ravage . . . but I can't get overhyped, it's probably a weird angle of Thrash in mid-transformation" BUT THEN! IT WAS! RAVAGE!

The unholy GLEE I felt when I realized there were THREE cassette-bots! And that they got around the Frenzy blue / red debate by making her purple afkafjd;akl;s

And not kind of purplish-blue like G1 cartoon Rumble, but like. She's grape juice. She's a Jolly Rancher. P U R P L E.

The music during the cassette fight was great, real 80s techno vibe

"I have my own bird-don" Megatron says while fighting Laserbeak

The smuggest bird

Closeup of Frenzy's hand, she has fingernail polish and the black part of her hand mimics a ragged sleeve

Optimus is like "Stop pulling your punches" and Megatron's like "They're just little guys!"

Bumblebee: "I miss adults"

Megatron refuses to use his cannon on the cassettes, "it's not for swatting flies."

AMAZING entrance by Arcee

Arcee expresses affection the only way she knows how

I reeeeally like her design, it's so freaking good

according to Robby she has "an awesome berserker battle rage"

When my dad was in the US Army they really did make them dig holes and then fill them up when there was nothing else to do

Optimus, they stole a badge. That's like shoplifting.

"If G.H.O.S.T. learns [Bumblebee] is alive" they'll have big questions for Optimus . . . OMG, what's going on??

I was trying to remember why restraining bolts were familiar to me and then I realized it was from Star Wars. (They might be in TF lore too but that's where I know them from.)

Megatron is not having anything to do with the restraining bolts. I wonder if they were used on Cybertron or if G.H.O.S.T. invented them.

Okay, here we goooo! G.H.O.S.T. made a bargain with Optimus and Megatron, and Optimus is Lawful Good so he's following the bargain. Meanwhile Megatron's like "Don't they seem kind of EVIL to you? Speaking as someone who was once Professionally Evil, I'm getting bad mojo from this group that is locking up my ex-troops forever."

Megatron "gave his fealty" to Optimus to save their fellow Cybertronians, this is gonna spark a million fanfics and I can't wait

Whover is composing these shots is a superstar

man I love Arcee

"This world will take advantage of you if you don't speak up when things are wrong." Arcee is basically the foil for Optimus in this episode.

Optimus bud you're in the wrong lane

I'm not 100% sure what's going on here, but I would guess Laserbeak is sending what he recorded to Soundwave and updating him on the situation

I can't believe they went with cassette modes for them, I'M SO HAPPY

They should have the bots' lights blink when they're talking in vehicle mode... I like Optimus' and Megatron's voices but they aren't really distinct enough when their mouths aren't moving

IT'S SOUNDWAVE TIME BITCHES

all is right with the world

"Do not make this personal, Soundwave!" "It already is."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Arcee's arrived and she brought the kids

Soundwave playing back Megatron's own quote, AHHHHHHHHHH

It seems like Thrash can understand Laserbeaks taunts

The cassettes are really The Misfits to the Malto-bots' Jem and the Holograms, huh?

Soundwave shot straight to the heart with that "TRAITOR."

"What even IS a cassette?" asdfs;fjs;ldjf

i love u arcee

oooo, Teletraan-One is still kicking!

awww the moment between Optimus and Megatron!

"We're free now, you don't have to follow him anymore." Ohhhh? Were the cassettes not following Soundwave willingly?

Well, Ravage still is.

I KNEW IT. WHEN I FIRST SAW HIS DESIGN I SAW ThAT LATCH AND I THOUGHT "IT LOOKS LIKE HIS CHEST OPENS"

Unclear how Ravage got back to Soundwave, maybe subspace shenanigans or maybe just sneakiness

shrill screams of delight

SHRILLER SCREAMS

[megatron-fucks]

Posting deleted scenes from stuff because I need validation; but also someone was talking about trans Megatron and this kind of is?

Set in the Lesser Evil universe, so G1/IDW. Frame dysphoria; domestic MegOp in post-war cybertron. No spoilers.

---

"I was thinking," Megatron said, and then stopped. He was very good at acting like he hadn't said anything at all.

"You were thinking?" Optimus prompted.

Megatron glared at the vidscreen as his discomfort built in thick crashing waves. "I was wondering how y-" And just like that, discomfort turned into anger. He stood up with fists and jaw clenched. "It's not important."

"Tell me anyway. I like it when you tell me unimportant things."

But this was clearly a bridge too far. Megatron was already leaving: not just the room, it seemed, but the entire flat. "Do you want anything while I'm out?"

Optimus decided to let it go. "A new polishing cloth, if you happen to see a good one." This would probably result in Megatron building a spreadsheet of the pros and cons of various polishing cloths, but at least that might take his mind off whatever was bothering him.

The door slammed. Optimus thought about calling Ratchet to vent, but he didn't want Ratchet to to worry about this. It would take more than a few years of tenuous peace for anyone to get comfortable with the idea of a fuming Megatron loose on the streets.

---

Optimus was reading a romance novel, of all things, with his feet in Megatron's lap and the TV droning away in the background. He had intended to review the municipal recovery risk analysis, but Megatron had the infuriating habit of confiscating Optimus' work in the evening. Come morning, his datapads would all be piled up once more on his desk.

The sudden silence of the TV made him look up, only then realizing that the tension in his tanks wasn't from the building climax of the novel. Megatron's fans rattled as he tried to fight his anger down.

Optimus quietly opened the same channel on his datapad - volume off, subtitles on - expecting to find Starscream in the middle of a rant about how Megatron ruined everything. Instead it was some bright red Velocitronian, in an interview about Cybertron's dwindling military capability.

He was about to reassure Megatron - it was, despite both of their instincts, probably a good thing that they couldn't all go back to killing each other at a moment's notice - when the mech said "They're not proper reframes. No one has the money for that kind of thing these days. But most mechs could stand to lose a few tonnes of armour." Orion switched it off.

"I thought about getting some modifications," he said carefully. "I quite like my earth alt-mode, but it would be nice to blend into a crowd a little more."

"I don't want a reframe," Megatron snarled. It took him a couple of seconds to get the rest of his excuse out. "I've had enough to last several lifetimes. I'm fine like this." His fans were hissing with the force of the air rushing through them.

Optimus put his datapad down and shifted to lean on Megatron more. "I like your frame a great deal," he agreed. "But I'm sure I'd like the new one, too."

"I don't want a reframe," Megatron repeated. He did something that made his optics dim and shut the anger off for half a second, before it came rushing back so hard and fast it made Optimus' head spin.

"Do you want your fusion cannon back? We could-"

"NO!" He tried to stand up, but their legs were still tangled together.

Optimus took his time extricating himself. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Thankfully this seemed sufficient to keep Megatron in his seat. "I want whatever you want. That's all."

Megatron slumped forward to bury his face in his hands. It made Optimus want badly to hold him but he'd learned that it was best to pretend nothing was happening. He picked up his datapad and turned it on without reading another word.

For the next few kliks, he focused on just keeping himself calm, hoping some of it would carry over to Megatron.

"I'm not going to do it," Megatron finally said.

"Okay."

"I mean it, Optimus. I don't want to do it."

"I believe you."

Something in Megatron unwound a little. "I just think it might be nice to have wings."

The desire to comfort him was sharp as a knife. "Can I touch you, love?" Megatron choked out a noise and sat up, letting Optimus wrap an arm around him. "I think it sounds wonderful." Megatron made another uncomfortable little noise. "In a frame like this? Big broad wings I could sleep on?"

Megatron shook his head. "I'm too heavy. I'd take out a wall every time I cornered." Optimus rubbed his arm and said nothing. He could only hope that Megatron could feel how loved he was. In every moment, of course, but even more in this one. How privileged Optimus felt to be told this. "I thought I was heavy as a miner but that was nothing. Less than a third of what I am now."

That was something he could easily change. Megatron didn't need to stand up to heavy weaponry anymore.

[mycarhasasecret]

I stumbled across your blog and I'm in love 😍

I was wondering if I could get some head cannons? How would

Tfp Wheeljack, Optimus, Knockout (and g1 soundwave if you can) react to reader asking them if they wanted to go on a road trip?

Idk if that's enough info, if it's not I'm so so sorry 😅🙏

Yeah, sure

Prime

Wheeljack

-He’s absolutely game. He wants to see everything Earth has to offer in terms of excitement and sightseeing.

-Truthfully, he’s hoping for something more than the quiet, sprawling desert of Nevada. It gets boring, ya know? Unfortunately, he winds up being disappointed when he finds out that most of the US is some form of quiet, sprawling landscape.

-To curb his disappointment, he makes plenty of conversation with you, telling you about his time with the wreckers, and thinking back on Cybertron before the war.

Optimus Prime

-He’d love to go. Earth is beautiful, and has so much richness to it. All of the organic life in it is strange and alien to him. He wants to know more about his new home.

-Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the luxury of being able to take a few weeks off to go sightseeing. He rejects your offer immediately, though it crushes his spark a little to do so.

-He keeps the idea in his processor, hoping and praying that one day things will be peaceful enough to take you on that road trip.

Knockout

-He doesn’t get it. Earth is cool and all, ya know, whatever. But he doesn’t think it’s worth all that leg work and energon to see it. He almost turns you down flat, but thinks better of it.

-He hears the I15 through parts of Utah has an 80 mile an hour speed limit, and damn near nothing for miles between cities. As long as he keeps a look out for cops, he can really haul ass if he wants.

-You regret asking him. Even the boldest of daredevils would shake with fear riding with Knockout. He doesn’t even slow down through the Virgin River Gorge and you just about have a heart attack at every winding turn. On the plus side, you take a picture of him in front of Alien Jerky in Baker, California and he thinks it’s the funniest thing ever.

G1

Soundwave

-He’s not terribly fond of Earth. He doesn’t hate it, but it’s not super interesting to him. When you ask him to go with you, he doesn’t really understand why you would do such a thing.

-But he keeps that to himself, and agrees to go with you. Perhaps he will stumble across something that will aid Megatron in his quest for universal domination.

-He likes the quiet, and he spends a lot of the time in silence, just thinking. The landscape passes you both by, and you wonder if he’s changed his mind at all about earth. Between you and him, he thinks it’s almost as beautiful as Cybertron. Almost.

[earthstellar]

Rewatching Transformers G1 S2: Episode 1: Autobot Spike

Yes, this is where the Surprised Ratchet meme image comes from:

This episode has a lot going on including near-death of a human character on screen, body horror/a Frankenstein plot, and some genuinely unsettling scenes mostly made creepy due to the combination of some interesting dialogue/voice acting and typical G1 Quality. 

And Spike shoots Starscream in the ass mid-flight, which is fantastic. 

He also shoots his dad, which is less fantastic. 

Being a horror nerd, I love this episode, so here we go! 

Gonna put this below a cut because I’m taking a lot of screenshots here:

You can watch the whole episode on YouTube here in 4 parts, if you want to watch along! 

Alright, so it opens with Sparkplug trying to create “Autobot X”, which is straight up just a Frankenstein’s Monster of autobot parts. It’s weirdly creepy, and vaguely reminiscent of the infamous Ratchet-Megatron fusion in the Marvel comics.

I want to point out that Sparkplug says “I wanna see what I can do with a lotta spare Autobot parts and some human ingenuity” before the reveal shot above, and that’s horrific if you think about it for more than like, three seconds. 

It also may have been the origins of the MECH plot line in TFP, actually! Very similar body horror type thing going on. Anyway.

It works briefly, but it flips out and has to get shut down. 

Ironhide fires a laser, problem solved, nobody’s worried. They put Autobot X in storage, because surely a rampantly aggressive seemingly sentient pastiche of random Autobot parts is nothing to worry about. It’s fine. 

Wheeljack is like, hell yeah, I’ll help you work on it later. Which is when we get the Surprised Ratchet image, because yeah, I bet Ratchet’s freaked out a little since this thing is made of SPARE AUTOBOT PARTS. 

Then we’re swept immediately into a fight with Megatron, as many Seekers as you can fit in frame at one time, and Soundwave. 

For whatever reason, Bumblebee shows up driving through a bunch of partially blown up missile/rocket components, with Spike in the driver’s seat. Even Spike is like, dude, why are we here? And Bumblebee is just like, I mean, we couldn’t NOT show up. lmao

Unsurprisingly, Bumblebee gets shot-- In alt-mode, with Spike inside. Uh oh. 

Megatron leaves, because Frank Welker can only voice so many characters at once, and our attention is turned to the carnage. 

Ratchet is like, sure, I can fix Bumblebee right up! Meanwhile, Ironhide is like oh god, oh my god, is this how you hold a human??? Is it dead??? Optimus is gonna be pissed. 

So Optimus rolls up like, listen, take him to the hospital, come on. Ratchet lets him in the back of his ambulance mode, and Prowl goes with him so that he can throw his emergency lights on to give the illusion of a police escort, ensuring the drive is even quicker. 

(I miss the days when Prowl wasn’t a total asshole.) 

It cuts pretty quickly to Spike in an operating theatre; Apparently getting shot by alien space lasers isn’t conducive to human health: 

It cuts again to the attending physician standing at Spike’s beside, presumably in ICU although they appear to be in a private room, with Sparkplug on the other side of the bed. 

The doctor says “Hmm, if only there were a way of separating Spike’s mind from his body while we work...” Which, uh, what? What surgeon says that? You can sort of already do that in actual human medicine, it’s called an induced coma. 

But sure, we need exposition here, I get it. The screenplay here is tight. Sparkplug says he has an idea...

Back at the Autobot hangout, things seem fairly chill, considering. 

Ratchet is welding Bumblebee’s ass in alt-mode, while Bumblebee complains about how long it’s taking. lol 

Meanwhile, Wheeljack and Sparkplug somehow have Spike hooked up to a Ghostbusters colander helmet, which will hopefully transfer his mind into the malfunctioning/in stasis Autobot X frame. Yikes. 

It works! Spike is now also Autobot X. We will call him Spike X for short. 

And for some reason, Spike saying “D-Da-ad?” with this faceplate expression is incredibly funny to me, while also being really weird and creepy: 

However, this is only cool for like two seconds, at which point Spike X truly starts to lose his shit. 

It gets real creepy here, with Spike X saying in a very oddly flat inflection “Why? Why did you do this to me? Why?” and it’s pretty wild. There’s even a mild strobe effect for a few frames. 

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker try to help calm him down, but Spike X throws them both across the room. 

Optimus is like, oh shit, we made a giant metal teenager. Stop him, but use low power, because if the Autobot X frame is damaged too much, then Spike’s consciousness may not be able to be returned to his actual human body. 

Note that Optimus says this in a pretty relaxed way, then levels a shoulder mounted cannon straight at Spike X, which is incredibly funny. 

It quickly gets deeply weird and creepy again when Spike X is temporarily able to talk with his dad, and states that “it’s hard to think, like something is telling me to do... bad.... things!” Yiiiiiikes. 

He gets it under control again, apologises to his dad for the outburst (I think it’s OK, Spike), and Optimus says that he’s cool to stay at the base and he’ll be taken care of while his human body heals up. 

However, oh shit, the Decepticons have found out that Spike now has an Autobot frame-- And they know he’s unstable. 

Starscream tries to roast him, but Megatron’s like, shut up nerd, we’re gonna make Spike X turn against the Autobots! It’s a good plan, I’m serious! 

Back at the Autobot base, Ratchet is still welding Bumblebee’s ass, and Bumblebee is still complaining. Wheeljack hooks up Spike X with some network television, and he’s watching... Frankenstein. Because the six year old kids who are the intended audience of G1 may not be familiar with the source material for this episode’s plot, I guess, which is fair. (Frank Welker nails it here as Dr. Frankenstein, but that’s unsurprising, because he always nails it. I think he’s also voicing Frankenstein’s Monster, but I haven’t checked the credits.)

Obviously, this isn’t a great thing for Spike X to be watching at this particular moment, so he freaks out again. 

Wheeljack and Sparkplug come running, and somehow Sparkplug is covering ground faster than Wheeljack. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. 

Ratchet’s progress on welding Bumblebee’s ass is interrupted by Spike X breaking through the wall and seemingly flying away. lmao 

They just sort of stand there, like, well, we lost him, I guess. 

Bumblebee is like, alright, gonna go get my boy. 

So he drives out of this massive crater, and Ratchet is like, wait! Your radio transmitter still doesn’t work. (Apparently their radio transmitters are located in their asses. Fascinating.) 

Spike X sits on a cliff and says “what a drag”, which, yeah. Being a Frankenstein space robot would be cool if not for the immense psychological damage this is absolutely causing. 

However, he also calls himself a “walking garbage can” in a completely genuine put-out tone of voice, which absolutely sells that this is a teenager in a giant robot body and I laughed, I won’t lie. 

Some of Megatron’s cronies locate him and hold his position. 

At the same time, Bumblebee shows up and tries to talk Spike X down from a random destructive rampage. 

He throws Bumblebee off the cliff! And Megatron’s squad is rolling up. (Well, flying up, anyway.) Uh oh! 

Spike X is like, hell yeah, bring it. More ass to kick. And it turns out his arm mounted cannon works, because he shoots Starscream directly in the undercarriage and says “YEAH, MAN!” and it’s so genuine. 

This is the perfect reaction to being a teenager in a giant robot body and just suddenly being able to shoot lasers and kick ass. Look at how happy he is, that he just shot Starscream in the butt mid-air. It’s awesome.

Unfortunately, the Seekers do actually beat him up, although Spike X puts up a good fight. 

Megatron then takes advantage of his further weakened state, and swoops in to pitch a classic “Join Us” speech. Spike X calls him “Megacrumb”, which is probably acceptable because he’s absolutely concussed by this point. 

Megatron is willing to overlook this for the sake of teaming up. 

Bumblebee eavesdrops, and drives away-- But Spike X gives Megatron a handshake, and agrees to “make them pay”. Oh shit! 

For some reason, Optimus and Ironhide are back at the rocket facility to watch a launch. Because I guess whatever, this whole situation is chill, let’s go watch rockets? IDK 

But either way, Optimus roasts the inferior quality of human technology, while Bumblebee just drives up on site despite Military Police levelling sniper rifles at him in order to report that Megatron is taking advantage of Spike X’s inability to think clearly. 

Optimus says “I feared something like this might happen”, which, if that were the case, why not take actions to prevent it, maybe? Not the strongest Optimus episode. 

To be fair though, Ironhide transforms and is already driving off before Optimus even gives the order to roll out, so I guess Ironhide either really wants to kick some ass or cares slightly more about Spike X’s wellbeing. He has no dialogue here, so we can only guess. 

They get there, with even more Autobots who showed up at some point in the rapid scene cuts here, and Spike X is super unhinged-- Charging his weapons, he starts speaking in a more strained and angry way, and engages the Autobots! 

He hits Optimus with what appears to be a chest laser? It’s hard to see. But it’s super effective: 

Optimus pleads with Spike X to calm down, but Spike X straight up pulls MEGATRON IN GUN MODE out of his sub-space and shoots Optimus directly in the faceplate. Damn! 

The Seekers and Soundwave drop in, and start rapid firing on all the Autobots present. 

We get some great shots of Megatron in his gun alt-mode as he tries to convince Spike X to keep attacking. Optimus and Bumblebee hide behind cover, attempting to bring Spike X to his senses long enough to disarm him. 

Suddenly, Wheeljack and Sparkplug roll up; Sparkplug attempts to talk some sense into Spike, too. 

Optimus and Bumblebee are at a loss; If they take out Spike X, the damage might take him out for good. 

However, Sparkplug fails in his efforts to talk to Spike X; He SHOOTS HIS DAD AND KNOCKS HIM OFF THE CLIFF. 

Can you imagine if they put an ad break here? lmao 

Luckily, he has like, a claw machine arm, and he catches his dad before he becomes a human smoothie. 

This shocks Spike X badly enough that while he still has Megatron in gun mode, he takes a few pot shots at the Seekers and the Decepticons decide it’s time to bounce, so Megatron bails too. 

He apologises for almost killing his dad, his dad is like hey no beef man, and it cuts to them in the hospital: 

Sparkplug takes his son’s body back to the Autobot base (that sounds worse than it is), and they prepare to transfer him back into his body. 

What’s extra funny here is that he nervously laughs and says “Hope you fixed this thing up good, Ratchet!” And Ratchet says absolutely nothing. Not a word. 

It’s a success! Dad and son hug, totally not even addressing anything that happened this whole episode, because that’s a job for a therapist. 

Ratchet, who continues to not really care about any of this, tells Wheeljack “You know, I could probably repair that mess, but I think it’s best that I don’t.” (This is a play on what Wheeljack said earlier in the episode when he offered to help Sparkplug fix up Autobot X to begin with.) 

I love how tired Wheeljack looks. LOL

Spike, now recovered, leaves us with a great question to close out the episode: “I wonder what it’d be like for a robot mind to be transferred... to a human!” 

Depending on what kind of kid you were, his question was either imagination fuel for fun humanformer ideas, or was a blatantly bad question indicating he learned nothing and providing nightmare fuel trying to imagine one of the Autobots losing their shit in a human body the same way Spike lost his shit while inhabiting Autobot X. 

Anyway, great episode! 10/10 Scary, funny, creepy, Starscream got shot in the ass by a teenager.