#Not his work wife i think it's funnier if she's my work wife

[courtoftheclueless]

You with Nick’s moles 🤝 me with Mac’s

I don't think people quite understand how much this man lives in my head

[hoonieyun]

Hello I know your requests are closed rn but when they’re open I was wondering if you can do reader doing the trend when she tells enhypen that she can’t pay rent this month (lmk if you don’t know the trend I’ll link it!)

i can’t pay the rent ⊹˚. ♡

pranking enha hyung line by telling them you can't pay the rent for the month

warnings: profanity, kissing, teasing/pranks, consensual touching, 18+ genre: fluff… just fluff idek LOL notes: OKAY I SWEAR NOWTHIS IS MY LAST REQUEST IM DOING TIL NEXT YEAR LOL yall keep sending good ones and i dont wanna make you guys wait but PLS save the requests for next year, i promise i will do them all hehe anyways thank you for requesting!! i thought this was so funny because my sister did this on her husband recently and he was so dramatic about it, telling her that they had to sell her car LOL anyways enjoy and as per usual… not proofread lmao

husband!heeseung ⋆˚ʚɞ – wc: 484

– you thought this prank was hilarious, especially because it seems like the people’s reactions were always so dramatic and you knew heeseung’s would be similar, if not funnier. heeseung was going to be arriving home from work anytime soon so you sat at your dinner table waiting for him to walk through your front door. 

in just a few minutes, you could hear his keys enter the lock and turn the doorknob. heeseung was very hardworking and as much as you fought him on the fact that you were okay also working, he wasn’t going to let his wife do another day of corporate work if he had anything to say. 

the year before you two got married, heeseung received a huge promotion, one that allowed him to take care of the two of you without you having to ever lift a finger ever again. you were grateful for him and you did your best to be a good wife even if heeseung was okay coming home to ramyeon and cuddling in bed all day. 

“hi, my love. how are you?” he says, throwing his shoes off and making his way over to you. he quickly presses a kiss on your temple and you release a pent up sigh to make your distress believable. “what’s wrong?” heeseung asks, squatting down so that he could be more eye level. 

“hee… promise you won’t be mad at me?” you say and he nods at you, slightly pouting and looking at you with his big doe eyes. he was unsure of where this was going and the contrast to your usual bubbly personality was a bit worrying to him. 

“i don’t think i can pay the rent this month…” you say, jutting out your bottom lip with a slight quiver. heeseung looks like he’s just heard the saddest thing ever, like you just confessed the utmost heartbreaking statement. “baby, that's okay! please don’t worry? we’ll make it work…” heeseung says, pulling you intoa hug anf rubbing your back softly. you accept his hug but can’t stop yourself from bursting out into laughter. heeseung suddenly pulls you away, holding your shoulders and looking at you with a suspicious expression, his left eyebrow raised as he stares at you. 

“babe? why are you laughing! we can’t pay rent and you’re laughing– wait…” heeseung begins to say and you realize that he’s caught on. “you don’t even pay the rent! i do!” heeseung says, shooting up straight and posing with his hands on his hips with a scolding face. “sorry hee!! i had to prank you because your reaction is too cute!!” you respond and he smirks with a chuckle, falling into your arms with a hug. “you’re lucky i love you!” heeseung says before the two of you share a kiss. 

“now… where’s my ramyeon!” he says, picking you up bridal style and walking over to the kitchen.

husband!jongseong ⋆˚ʚɞ – wc: 663

– everything about jay just screamed gentleman. he always opens doors for you, when it rains he carries the umbrella predominantly on your side more than his, he keeps you on the side furthest from the street when walking on the sidewalk, he showers you in love and compliments, and never lets you forget how much he loves you. 

he respected your wishes when you said that after getting married you no longer wanted to work, in fact, he encouraged it. he had wanted you to stop working for a while now because of how shitty your boss was but you ultimately waited until you were married to do so. he wanted you to stay home and work on your dream home, encouraging you to use his card for whatever you needed so that you could make the house you two got together, the one of your dreams. 

so when jay was at work, you were at home doing projects to do just that; make this house your dream home that you and jay would spend the rest of your lives together in. you were taking a break from gardening in the backyard when you came across the tiktok and because you knew that jay was weak to your pranks, it was going to be easy to pull one over on him. 

you finish doing the rest of your garden for the day just as jay was coming home from work. you greet him at the front door, sliding your gloves off and giving him a kiss on the cheek instead of a hug so that you wouldn’t get his clothes dirty since yours was slightly covered in dirt. 

“hi baby, can we talk?” you ask and the atmosphere instantly shifts as you grab him by his hand to the kitchen. you pour him a glass of water as he’s taking a seat at your kitchen counter, eyes fixed on you as you walk over to him. “is everything okay, my love?” he asks and you pause for a second as you try to bite back a laugh. 

“i don’t know how to tell you this but i can’t pay our mortage this month…” you confess and he looks at you with furrowed brows. “what mortage?” he ask and you tell him the mortage for the house and his eyebrows remain furrowed. “did you buy a new house??” he ask and you couldn’t help but break character. “why are you laughing?? what’s going on??” he asks, even more confused than before and you explain to him that it was a prank you saw but he wasn’t able to move on from your statement, still asking if you had bought another house that he hadn’t known about. “wait so is there another house? do you pay the mortage for that house?” he asks as you try to catch your breath from laughing so much. 

“can you be serious? i have no idea what’s going on! do you need me to pay the mortage on this house? it’s okay if you do, you know i’ll help you with anything.” jay adds, proving yet again how kind and generous he was. 

“baby, it’s a joke! there’s no other house.” you answer in between laughs and his eyes narrow at you after finally realizing what you were saying while laughing. 

“wow, i’m going to need to learn how to stop falling for your pranks. what’s next, you’re going to bring home a bunch of puppies?” and when your eyes widen at his response, he pulls you into a hug while shaking his head; “no, don’t even think about it!” he says, pulling you towards the bathroom. 

“but– nope! we are not getting a puppy!” jay says cutting you off. you look at him with a pout and all he can do is place a soft kiss onto your lips. “okay, fine. i’ll think about it.” he says and you cheer knowing deep down jay wanted a puppy too. 

boyfriend!jaeyun ⋆˚ʚɞ – wc: 733

– you and jake have just moved into your first apartment together after graduating from college. it was nothing crazy, just a humble 2 bedroom apartment and although you would’ve settled with 1 bedroom, jake insisted on getting two so that you could have a dedicated space for your art. jake definitely made more than you and although it made you a bit insecure that he was always taking care of the finances, he reassures you that he wouldn’t want it any other way.

often telling you that he’s happy to do it if it means you could put all your focus in your passion for your art. he even goes as far as having your art supplies on a refill cycle because he knows how fast you go through them and he doesn’t want you to ever run out so he has them delivered just in time as you’re about to run out of something whether it be a canvas, tools, or a certain color of paint. jake was loving like that. 

willing to spend what he needed, no matter the price, just so that he can make sure that you have everything you needed because he was your number one supporter. 

you were scrolling on tiktok, procrastinating on a piece, when you scrolled into the trend and it seems after seeing that first video led your algorithm to show you similar videos 8 more times before you decided that you would try and prank jake. you often tried to prank jake because his reactions were always cute and dramatic but you could tell whenever he was able to catch on so for this one, you prepared yourself. going over a small script in your head about how you would say it and what responses you would have for whatever jake could possibly say in return. 

so, when jake got back from work you walked out of your little art studio and welcomed him home with a hug and kiss on the lips. “hi, pretty. how was your day?” he asks and when you tell him that you were stressed and a bit anxious, he immediately drops his work bag and holds you closer. “what’s wrong?” he asks and you slowly you pull yourself out of his grip so you could look at him– bad idea because his eyes seemed to carry so much love and adoration for you in them that you could get lost in them. 

“yn?” he asks and you shake yourself out of the trance of looking into his doe eyes. 

“jake, i don’t think i can pay the rent this month… baby i’m so sorry!” you respond, throwing yourself back into his arms and burying your face into his chest to show him just how bad you felt and you could feel jake hesitantly put his hand on your back. 

“pay the rent?” he asks and you nod your head against his chest. “my love, no offense but i pay the rent not you.” jake says and when you look up at him his head is slightly tilted to the side with a furrowed gaze. 

“we all know i make the big bucks around here, baby!” jake says proudly and although it didn’t offend you at all, you pretend to be hurt by softly hitting him on the chest and pouting. 

“hey!” you yell while crossing your arms. 

“it’s true!” he says, pulling you back into his arms while rocking the two of you side to side. “what are you even talking about? i thought we agreed that i would cover our rent so you could focus on getting your art exhibit together?” he asks and you couldn’t even prolong the joke anymore because he was being too sweet. 

“yeah, i know… it was just a stupid prank i saw on tiktok.” you confessed and jake laughs at you endearly. “aww… not your best one babe.” he says and this time you hit him again because he was teasing you. he let out a small “oww” even though it didn’t actually hurt. 

“come on! i’m just playing!” he says, now he was looking at you with a pout and your scowl transforms into a smile. the two of you shared a tender kiss before preparing dinner. he was your hard working and caring boyfriend and you were his “little picasso if picasso was sexy”; his words not yours. 

boyfriend!sunghoon ⋆˚ʚɞ – wc: 835

– sunghoon, although usually very quiet, was very mischieveious and silly when the two of you were alone. he often played harmless pranks on you like hiding and waiting behind corners and jumping out when you got close, placing fake plastic bugs in unsuspecting spots for you to find, or just randomly having an outburst of energy and screaming that would startle you. 

and although you would tell him that you hated being scared or surprised, you secretly loved this goofy side of him because it brings out the biggest smile on his face whenever he sees your reactions. even when you do get scared, which is almost all the time, he makes it up to you by cuddling up close to you and whispering loving things into your ear until the two of you fall asleep. 

so, when your best friend sent you the tiktok and said you should get revenge on sunghoon for scaring you just the day before, you didn’t hesitate to dwelve into the tiktok trend to find inspiration on how you could really sell the story and try to prank sunghoon the way he pranks you. 

sunghoon would be getting home from work soon, he was a part of the IT team of a large scale company and you loved how smart he was, his cute face was just a bonus. when he got the job and moved the two of you to a bigger condo closer to his work, the two of you agreed that he would take care of the rent if you took care of the smaller finances like groceries and esstentials. 

at first you were a bit reluctant because you didn’t want it to come off like he was taking care of everything but sunghoon soothed your worries and told you that if he were to ever let you take care of the rent, his parents would be highly disappointed in him for letting his lady do that. as time passed, you slowly became comfortable with sunghoon’s job and how it did provide more than enough for the two of you. you didn’t really work, you often would help out at your family’s floral shop but it wasn’t anything to sunghoon’s big tech job; something you’re very grateful for… and of course, him. 

“honey, i’m home!” sunghoon announces as he enters your shared condo and you stay in place, slightly hiding in the blanket so it looked like you had been having a gloomy day instead of running outside to greet him like you usually do. 

sunghoon quickly makes his way to your shared bedroom when you don’t come out to greet him and he finds you on the bed, in a fetal position and hiding under the big fluffy white blanket. “honey, are you ok? you look sad…” sunghoon says softly and his tone of voice tugs at your heartstrings, almost making you back out of the prank. 

you mumbled something but because you were hiding under the blanket, he couldn’t hear you so he gently pulls the blanket off to reveal you, now hiding shyly behind your hands. 

“what’s wrong?” he says, grabbing your hands and placing them in his, gently rubbing circles on your knuckles with his thumbs. 

“hoon… i’m so sorry but i can’t pay the rent this month.” you say, finally making eye contact with him, giving him sad puppy eyes and when sunghoon’s blank face doesn’t change for a moment except for a few blinks, you start to believe that you’ve totally convinced him… wrong. 

“baby… i’m gonna hold you hand when i say this– you’re broke and you’ve never paid the rent a day in your cute little life.” he says, flashing you his cheeky smile that showed his fang like canine teeth. your jaw drops in shock at his response, prompting you to shout an empty “i hate you” at him as you grab the blanket and return to hiding underneath it. 

“noo, you looove me!” sunghoon says, grabbing the blanket once again to reveal a pouty version of you. 

“i buy you those creepy furry thingies you like, i buy you all your favorite snacks, and i pay for this lovely condo so you can have a beautiful home.” sunghoon says, getting closer with each word and finally placing a kiss on your lips. 

“hey! the labubus are not creepy…” you mutter and the both of you look over to your vanity where there sat a pink labubu. 

“okay, yeah they’re kinda creepy– but i was trying to prank you because you always prank me but i guess it didn’t work.” you confess and he pats your head, brushing some of your hair out of your face. 

“don’t worry baby, your cuteness makes up for your bad pranks.” he says with a laugh before lunging out of bed, just in time as you try to lunge at him; starting a cat and mouse chase around your condo until one of you, you 99% of the time, gets tired. 

copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned. if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3

[bizarrelovesquare]

Dan posted this video that gave us a HUGE peek into Martin's notes about episodes they're working on...

Screenshots (with about 90% ID of what's visible, bless his handwriting) under the cut! Fair warning, it's long, but there's a lot going on here, and it's so much to think about!

picture 1: ????? chicken head funnier

picture 2: (first page) Reactionator

? Speakers all over town People's phones Therapist Doof & Candace

Therapist thinks she is crazy but is tactful

The shrink is delusional ? ? exercise that is the catalyst for Cand. being delusional

Candace "It's A Wonderful Life" -- After actual bust C sees everyone doing much worse she feels sad

Family - I think you discuss it Cruise Ship - P&F Van/Doof Last chance to Candace A / Perry back

(second page) Doof's DEI W/A C's Therapist

Doof same therapist

Ferb is next a speech therapist

Doof trauma-dumping on therapist

Therapist "The real self-destruct button is in your head"

Therapist does ex(?)nemesis - therapist

Therapist sees - "WAIT, I GET IT, what Candace is doing gets taken away by what HE'S DOING--"

(note going down side of page) GUEST ON DOOFENPUSS

Doof ? regular ? ? - but she can't ? this because of C ? Confidential ALL DANVILLE Doof and Vanessa on cruise ALL CHARACTERS ? Reactionator blackmail secret I ever tell you w/Lindana whose solved mysteries

picture 3: (script on the table) (our first potential season 6 title?) PHINEAS AND FERB

"VANESSAY"

Written by Martin Olson & Olivia Olson

picture 4: Vanessay

Change tennis to playground

Roger & slushy guy not zapped

Rog. - reflects ray w/ his teeth - set up teeth first Doof: strong jaw -

Agent T thumbnotes "Up the chimney is a weird visual pun" Stacy: "You know we have a front door."

C & Stacy w/ambient sounds joke sequence - cut down?

Mono - "Four seasons of this show" Why did I ? ? ?

To Liv for Vanessay Playground - see how ? ? trap sets scene - a handled window box

Stacy: "Hey ? I ? ANIMAL NOISES!" CUT TO BLACK

Stacy pushes ? out of doorway

Dimin: after "Shorty" - No prize is worth this!

picture 5: T For Teen For Liv - SC 916 Perry leaps into air & does triple flip & lands ready to fight

Pitch n buttons for each

Exec note - Thurs - T For Teens 1:48 end of C/Stacy annual ? sudden cut to end ? w "napkins"

MEAP - PT2 S&P CONCERNS

(I cannot make this bit out to save my life. Martin what in the world my dude)

picture 6: Meap pt 2 - thumbnotes

22 to Meap - "Uh-uh! An ship ? us away!" (clumsy)

Fix pronunciation "St. Lois" joke C is shushed by Meap

Tidy up - don't have everyone say "Don't forget to flush"

C pressing red button to explode ? ship sucks

Brenda joke sexist "No one tracks you through the universe more than your wife"

picture 7: 501 PT1 Exec notes - bigger intro of Doof instead of him on yearbook 10:27 Buf. throw away Constitution Irving beat #2 too quick to nerd

Deconstructing thumbatic

Instead of "psychosis" "phantasma"

607 - Isa hair - 704 OWCA shredding SC

C feels good - "? ? that every day"

12 min: Viewers see The Murder Board

Biblio Blast anim. notes Perry incompetent - smashes into Doof's roof Cut down - plants surrounding/attacking Cut down Doof/Per table start w/Doof "We have to HIT SELF DESTRUCT"

picture 8: (page 1) song by the paver the wind makes love w/each other again

around us - it all seems so real meaning confounds us - cuz nothing's revealed we're SW in love w/each other again

Middle 1: From nothing we hustle Towards each other again Our love seems to circle Without any end

V3: The cloud of unknowing has such beautiful colors But where is it all going ? towards one another? we're SW - in love w/each other again

Middle 2: We seek out each other Every time we appear Sometimes we find another Before we disappear

INSTRUMENTAL W/DANCING SKELETON

(page 2) Middle 3: The breeze says to hug her And show how we feel Slowly healing each other Every turn of the wheel

Repeat V1: So basically - We're SW Along by the river We sit on a porch and The wind makes us shiver We're SW in love w/ each other again We're SW in love w/ each other again

JOSH - The paver of

picture 9: While Dance

says to hug her how we feel healing each other turn of the wheel

Repeat V1: (So basically)

We're SW Alone by the river We sit on the ? and The wind makes us shiver We're SW In love w/each other again

picture 10: Swampy

is trapped

back build something

element

State Triangle

"It's like the Berm[uda Triangle] totally different

(Teen lounge) & P&F build

too much like

Dan wants PLANE to

Doof is the ship

Jon said we turn strong where Doof is in the clouds - there's

picture 11: It's a whole new summer Perry (reblog if u cried)

Earthquake

Mom is laughing so hard she can't look

Staring contest - Try not to laugh

Candace has to be ? at Jeremy's larping tournament but she laughs

picture 12: Perry sick, "Can you take

Candace P&F canoe race

Laughtrack-inator Start ? - reveal Doof hits them w/a Doof keeps cranking it up

Doof rises wall of ? behind at ?

Laugh-inator Cut to surgeon heart

Norm: Good mg. sir Doof: But I programmed you to

picture 13: (this is another view of the page in picture 2, but this one reveals slightly more at the bottom, nothing too noteworthy added except for this)

LINDANA 80'S COP MOVIE - GUEST ON DOOFENPUS

[wnbnny]

꒰ forever and a day ⭑ ꒱ - y.jh

genre ⋆ slice of life, est. relationship, fluff w small bit of angst, jeonghan x fem.reader! | wc ⋆ 0.9k | author's note ⋆ i was listening to fireworks & rollerblades & forever & a day is my favourite song on the album so i decided to write abt it >< listen to forever and a day as you read <3 | not proofread bc i wrote this at 3 a.m >< tw ⋆ reader is mentioned as 'wife', insecurities

i started driving through the hills, told me to come and get you

"hannie?" you called out softly, head peeking out from your shared bedroom's door. jeonghan raised his head, locking eyes with you. "yes?" he hummed, eyes filled with an unreadable softness and emotion you couldn't quite place.

no words convey the way it felt for me to finally hold you

"can... can i join you on the couch?" you asked tentatively, not wanting to bother him and disrupt his peace when he looked so cozy curled up on the couch. "of course baby, you don't have to ask. c'mere," he stretched out his arms, an open invitation for you to mold perfectly into.

in my arms just long enough to know

you took a step forward, and it wasn't long before you had finally crossed over the expanse of the living room to stand in front of him. you climb onto the couch, afraid to accidentally step on his limbs, tangled up in the heavy yet soft blankets. settling your head on his shoulder, you were enveloped in a comforting warmth, jeonghan's arm subconsciously pulling you closer into his side. the tv was playing an old rom-com, and the two of you settled into comfortable silence as you cuddled.

know every word you're gonna say before you even think it 

"she's so pretty," you comment, eyes fixated on the actress on screen. it fills your heart with a pang of mixed envy and sadness, insecurities coming to the surface. what if jeonghan thought you were ugly and left you for someone better? there were so many prettier women out there, ones that had beauty you could only dream of. the nagging feeling in the back of your mind grew even louder, drowning out the background noise. your hands, tangled in the blankets, fisted them slightly, clenching as you tried to futilely conquer the negative thoughts. jeonghan frowned, noting your fidgeting which could only mean one thing. "hey, you're prettier," he remarks, looking down at you. "thanks," you murmur, but jeonghan can immediately tell you don't believe him. "i mean it." he furrows his brows, and cups your chin to make you face him. his brown orbs bear into yours, hoping to get the message accross. you nodded slowly, the dullness in your eyes slightly disappearing, but not completely gone. he would work on convincing you, jeonghan vows. for now, he settles back into the cozy silence as you watch the sitcom.

but somehow, every joke you make is funnier each time around

"did you hear about the new store? you should visit it sometime, i've heard it's really good," you ponder. you and jeonghan are at the park, out on a date. "sounds great, but it would be better if i had you to accompany me," jeonghan leans in, a playful smirk on his face. you giggle and blush, rolling your eyes in faux annoyance. "oh, shut up, you big flirt."

your laugh is such a perfect sound

jeonghan watches as you giggle as you chatter with your friends, a fond smile on his face. you look radiant and happy, and he vows he will do whatever he can to always keep that smile on your face.

these butterflies lived a million lives to say

you blush, watching as jeonghan leans down to tie your shoelaces for you in the middle of a movie theatre, butterflies in your stomach. "done," he finishes with a smile, standing to press a featherlight kiss against your knuckles as you beam up at him.

i swear I've known you longer than

"oh my gosh, remember when we first met? i literally spilled coffee all over you," you laugh, on another day with jeonghan, this time at a cozy cafe. "you looked like you were on the verge of crying," jeonghan chuckles, then adds softly, "you were cute." 

i don't believe in destiny but i might have to say

"hannie?" you ask, and he hums in response. "yes?" "do you believe in destiny?" you ask, curious. "hmm... not really. i think you get to choose how your life turns out, whether through your actions or decisions," he explains, and you ponder on his answer thoughtfully.

your melodies, they're changing me

this time, you and jeonghan and sitting on the floor of the living room, christmas lights twinkling merrily on the colourful christmas tree in the corner. jeonghan is singing, strumming on his guitar, and then cozy warmth of the hot cocoa you hold in your hands envelops you in a soft, fluffy cocoon of love.

i'm yours, forever and a day

you and jeonghan stand under an archway, hands intertwined and cheeks flushed, giddy with excitement. he was dressed in a sharp tuxedo - and you in the most stunningly beautiful white dress that seemed to flow like water. "i, yoon jeonghan, promise to take y/n l/n as my wife, to have and to hold, from this day onward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. i promise to love and cherish you, to be the rock for you to lean on when you're down and had a bad day at work. i promise to be the one you can trust and confide in, to pour your burdens and insecurities to, and if i could, i would take them all from you, so that you may always have that radiant bright smile on your face i love so much. i promise to love you, forever and a day."

mastertag : @starseungs

[xkaidaxxxx]

Aizawa's New Girl

mentions: Unhappy marriage, Wifie material, tease, Fluff.

reblogs are appreciated <3

I am taking requests

Aizawa has been best friends with you since you both were in high school.You've loved him for such a long time but he’s been married for 5 years now. Recently, that means 2 years ago he hated his marriage. His wife started bitching for kids. His words not yours. He was not ready for that. From there she started making life impossible for him as well. Here he is now at your home.

“ I think I should divorce her.” he said to you. You are all for it. “You should divorce her Shōta. She’s been treating you like crap. How do you even deal with that?” you asked and served him dinner.You’re basically his wife at this point. You have been cooking his meals. He passes by for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Every week he comes to wash his clothes since he doesn’t even want to see her face. After a while he’d leave his clothes in your guest room. Sometimes he crashes the night. “ I’m tired of her. I nap during school hours, to me that says a lot. My favorite meal. You’re the best y/n.” he said. You felt bad for him. He’s your best friend.  “I’m here to support you. Always.” you said.

2 weeks later he got a great lawyer and he kicked his wife out of HIS house. He’s healing and you’re there to support him. “Thanks for helping me with this. You’re always by my side. I appreciate everything you do for me.” he said. “ Better together, remember.” you replied. You then heard banging from the door. He checked the cameras and you got your quirk ready. “It’s her. Don’t worry. I’ve got this.” he said pressing a button. You heard the sprinklers go off and you started laughing. He laughed along with you. Her screams made it even funnier. 

Time passed and he is happily divorced. He ended up moving in with you and left his old home as a vacation home. You bring him lunch every day to work. As you walked inside the students whispered. Some of the male students were drooling. You were wearing simple clothing. Although your top did show cleavage and your skirt was very teaseful. You walked up to the boys. “Hey, your Aizawa’s students. Can you tell me where I can find him if he’s not in this office?” You asked with a smile. The girls immediately knew you loved him. “ you’re so pretty.” Denki said. “Thank you sweetie” you replied “If he’s not in this office, he’s in class or resting outside,” Bakugou said. You booped his nose. The rest tried holding back their laughs. “DO YOU WANT TO DIE !!??” He yelled. “WHY YOU DISRESPECTFUL SON OF A BI-“ you yelled and got interrupted by the love of your life. “Hey” he greeted. “you’re in love with him, right? Omg?” Mina was losing her mind. “Uh, he’s my bestie girly pop.” You replied. “Yeah, which is why you show up every day with lunch for him.” She giggled. The girls giggled and whispered. “Umm, I made your favorite today. I hope you enjoy it.” You said handing him a large bento box. He looked at you up and down, loving how sexy you look. He gulped as he took the bento box from you.“I always enjoy your meals. I appreciate you coming to drop off lunch.” He replied and soon you had to head home. “Mr.Aizawa you were totally checking her out. She is a goddess you better make a move before somebody else does.” Mina said and the rest of the girls agreed. She was right and deep down he knew that so once school ended he went to buy you a pretty diamond jewelry set, a special specific ring, and a bouquet of 100 red roses. He was taking forever. “It’s already 9pm,” you said aloud. “Mhm, maybe something came up with hero work.” You yawned. Minutes later he showed up. “Y/n! Hey! Sorry, I’m late, come downstairs! I have something for you!” He called out. “I’m in the kitchen!” You replied cleaning the counter. “Close your eyes.” He ordered and you did just that. He stood in front of you. “Open.” He said. You opened your eyes and saw the beautiful sight. “ I know…I suck at gifts but umm…I hope this shows how much I love and appreciate everything you do for me. I’m trying to ask if you want to be my girlfriend? Partner? Wife? Girlfriend?” He asked, choosing many titles because he had no idea what he was doing. “ Girlfriend and then hopefully wife.” You replied. You shared a soft and loving kiss with him. Aizawa has no idea how much his life is going to change now that he’s with the woman he’s always loved and will forever.

[maxknightley]

Which Touhou Girls Can You Plausibly Read As Butch? A Comprehensive Overview

Earlier on Tumblr I saw a post complaining that someone called Hecatia Lapislazuli from Touhou Project butch. This is Hecatia Lapislazuli:

Obviously, like most Touhou characters, she is in fact quite feminine - she just shops at Hell Hot Topic. But it got me thinking: In a series like Touhou, with a cast overwhelmingly defined by feminine (if rowdy) ladies, how many characters could you say are 'butch' without sounding like a complete doofus or significantly redesigning them to fit your headcanon?

CRITERIA

I'll be using four main criteria to judge characters' butchness. In real life, of course, butchness is a multivalent and extremely personal thing, but I'm talking about funny cartoon women from a video game here, so I'm willing to be a little reductive.

These criteria, in order of descending importance, are:

FASHION. In a series where goddamn near everyone is in either a dress or a skirt, the mere act of Wearing A Dress Shirt can be enough to make a powerful statement. Hats may also play a role here, given how many Touhou characters have gay little hats.

HAIRSTYLE. Short hair is not the be-all and end-all of butchness. I, myself, am Decidedly Butch even though I've been growing out my hair since college. But the length and styling of the hair are still a valuable indicator of how someone thinks of themself and wants to be seen.

'TUDE. Could this character be accurately described as "kind of a frat boy?" How do they speak to others? Do they just kind of seem like a character who ought to be butch, regardless of their looks? Do they even lift?

COMEDY FACTOR. Self-explanatory. This will probably only come into play if I run into a weird edge case.

I'll also emphasize that we're grading on a curve here - butchness is being assessed relative to the characters who do not appear on this list. Nobody in this series has a buzzcut, you know what I mean?

THE TIER LIST

AS CLOSE TO CANON AS WE'LL GET

Fujiwara no Mokou. The girl wears a dress shirt, fucking suspenders, and trousers. Not shorts, actual full-length pants. She's also in a perpetual love-hate mutual-murder situationship with Princess Kaguya, who is femme as all fuck. Obviously you don't have to be butch to date a femme - I'm just saying it feels Fitting given their whole deal.

Yuugi Hoshiguma. Most of the time, her fashion sense is actually quite feminine - but her look in the most recent chapter of Cheating Detective Satori, with the one exposed shoulder and the sarashi and all that, significantly alters the balance. Her hair actually reads as more masc to me when she keeps it long and unruly - when she puts it up in a ponytail, she ends up looking very kempt, even elegant. The deciding factor here is 'Tude: Her sheer levels of butch swag are off the fucking charts. (Still, I wouldn't blame someone for arguing she should be knocked down a tier - especially since I'd argue the Comedy Factor works in reverse here. She's way funnier if she doesn't think of herself as butch in the slightest.)

Minamitsu Murasa. In his original appearance I'd argue that Murasa is in "Reasonable" tier - maybe even as low as "Kind of a Stretch." But her big gay Jotaro jacket in Sunken Fossil World, combined with the emphasis on the weightiness and solidity of his trademark anchor, put her over the top. One of the only Touhou girls I consider worthy of being He/Himmed.

Shinmyoumaru Sukuna. The other He/Him-worthy Touhou girl. Very short, slightly messy hair; wears a kimono, not a dress; inheritor of Issun-Boshi's legacy; wears fucking dinnerware as a hat. Why do you want to be Big so badly, huh? So you can pick up women more easily? So you can carry your awful wife through the upside-down threshold of your upside-down bedroom?

Raiko Horikawa. For the longest time I thought her skirt was a pair of shorts because I straight up could not parse it as anything else. Even now I'm like "that can't possibly be a skirt, ZUN just drew it weird. She has to be wearing a full two-piece suit." Skirt aside, her jacket/dress shirt/necktie are still undeniable, as is her short hair. Also, she is a taiko drum given life, and I feel like taiko and timpanis are naturally butch. Maybe if she was a tambourine or a set of bongos I'd rank her lower?

Momoyo Himemushi. Rough-talking miner. Wears a dress shirt, leaves the top button(?) undone. Tromps around a big weird cave with no shoes or socks on. Wears bows and bangles basically everywhere but in her messy, tangled hair. Also, maybe I'm stereotyping here, but I just can't picture a centipede as being femme.

REASONABLE

Wriggle Nightbug. The dress shirt, cape, and puffy shorts all paint a vivid picture, but I just feel like I don't have a strong enough opinion on Wriggle as a character to put her in the top tier. In other words, she's got plenty of points for Fashion and quite a few for Hairstyle, but I just don't think the 'Tude is sufficient for me.

Reisen Udongein Inaba. The skirts are a strike against her, but her whole "dress shirt + necktie + sometimes suit jacket" thing makes a big difference, especially given that we're grading on a curve. Her rumpled ears and (particularly in Inaba of the Moon, Inaba of the Earth) pathetic demeanor go a long way towards giving her a vibe somewhere between "overworked salaryman" and "Detective Columbo."

Aya Shameimaru. All you need to know about Aya is that her "human reporter" disguise looks like This:

Mononobe no Futo. Butch, but in a really weird, circuitous way, imo. Like. She's sort of wearing a dress, but it's sort of a robe - the contrast of the hemline with her big flowy sleeves makes it hard to pin down - and her outfit quite notably has tassels rather than any kind of frills. I don't know what the hell is up with her hat but it's definitely not femme by any stretch of the imagination. Then thou hast the wayes in which she speaketh all "faux-olde-timey," even though nobody else in the setting does that... she transferred her soul into a plate, but she also throws plates around as weapons... It's like she's constantly putting on a performance that only she truly understands. It's like she reverse-engineered "masculine womanhood" by hanging out with a bunch of queens and doing kind of the same thing but kind of the inverse. The more I think about Futo the more I think she's entirely on her own wavelength, but I think "Reasonable" tier is a... uh, reasonable... approximation for the sake of this post.

Sagume Kishin. She dresses like if Bill Nye were a woman, and I think that cuts to the heart of it - she reminds me of a professor who you're not ever sure is gay, but you kind of pick up on a vibe, and near the end of the semester she offhandedly refers to "her partner" and you're like HOLY SHIT I KNEW IT. I went back and forth between putting her in "Reasonable" and "Kind of a Stretch"; ultimately, the Comedy Factor decided it because I couldn't stop thinking about a scenario where she says she's a woman, accidentally upends her whole understanding of gender in the process, and ends up taking testosterone while still ID'ing as a lesbian. I don't actually know if her powers would work that way and I don't care.

KIND OF A STRETCH

Eiki Shiki. I don't have a lot to go on, here, because she hasn't had many official appearances and seems to spend most of her time lecturing people or tormenting sinners. Her uniform(?)/apothecary outfit(??) is pretty snazzy; combined with the hat, it gives her a vaguely "military officer" look to me. We'll call her "butch pending further investigation," which I think she would agree is the correct course of action.

Sekibanki. She's here partially because of the cape, and partially because being sandwiched between Wakasagihime and Kagerou makes her look way more masc by contrast. I know what I said.

Ringo. It's pretty much just the hat and the pants, though - as a butch woman who Loves Eating - I am also inclined to project my own experiences onto her.

Aunn Komano. She reads as more "tomboyish" than outright "butch" to me, what with her whole puppy-dog vibe, but at the same time... she's very much wearing shorts and the kind of goofy-looking button-up shirt that is central to my own wardrobe and the wardrobe of other butches in my life. I'm willing to count her.

Takane Yamashiro. A living testament to the power of small character design choices. I would never in a million years call Nitori butch, even with her gay little hat and all the pouches on her outfit - she just looks like a girl scout. Takane, though? Takane, with her little hair swoopy, and the fucking suitcase slung over her back, and her camo-print dress? I mean - ultimately it is still a dress, which is why I can't justify scoring her higher, but she's definitely chewing tobacco and riding around on an ATV on weekends.

Chiyari Tenkaijin. If she's butch, it's not really because she's trying to be butch, it's just because being femme seems too expensive and time-consuming. She's got better things to do (drink blood all day). Still, I think an argument could be made.

DEFINITELY A STRETCH, BUT I RESPECT IT

Renko Usami. ZUN is kind of inconsistent with how he draws her hat - sometimes it's more of a porkpie/fedora type thing, other times it's round-topped and looks a bit like Koishi's hat. To me, this is a crucial distinction. In a more general sense, I feel like Renko's outfit gets a little less plausibly-masc with each passing album, which says a lot about our society. Or her society, anyway, since she lives in the future. Still, the capelets and bowties...

Rinnosuke Morichika. I think it would be really funny if the only significant male character in Touhou wasn't actually even a dude. I'm not aware of any real textual support for this interpretation, though.

Shou Toramaru. Pretty much only on here because of the hair and because I think there's a certain je ne sais quoi to her whole deal of "she's not a real tiger, she's the idea of a tiger that pre-Meiji Japanese people came up with from secondhand accounts."

Seija Kijin. Not even remotely butch by any stretch of the imagination... But if she did consider herself butch, isn't that exactly what she'd want you to think?

POTENTIALLY NOTEWORTHY EXCLUSIONS

Cirno. "Tomboyish" is not the same thing as "butch," to me, especially if you exclusively wear dresses. Also, I'm not sure Cirno even knows what a lesbian is.

Saki Kurokoma. Not actually butch, just a horse girl. (And a horsegirl.)

Mike Goutokuji. Can't tell if she's wearing a skirt or shorts. She's got short hair, sure, but the whole "matching bell collar and wristbands that also have bells attached" thing makes her look more like a Very Online Trans Woman who just figured herself out and hasn't started hormones or bought any new clothes yet.

[mossplot]

Mouth washing character headcannons: :D

TW:MENTIONS OF ASSAULT AND NSFW

CURLY:

-has a CRIPPLING fear of letting people down.

-runs left and right and up and down, all over trying to please everyone.

-due to this, he gets burnt out fast.

-gives amazing advice to others, but (stereotypically) cannot follow the advice himself.

~”He said WHAT to you? You absolutely do not deserve that!”

~”Okay, yes. Jimmy did say that to me, but that’s different!”

-we all know Aussie Curly.😏

-i believe his accent would only be think and noticeable when showing a lot of emotion in his voice.

-he seems to be the pinnacle of health with all his weightlifting and snow sport hobbies!

-with that being said, I believe this man 100% lectures the other crew members about their health, eating habits, exercise regimens, ect…(yes, even Anya🙄)

-he does this out care! He’s not trying to be a stickler.

-100% smells of sweat and cheep yet fairly good smelling cologne. Working at Pony Express can’t afford you brand name things.



ANYA:

-Anya 100% enjoyes mint ice cream.

-also oddly specific, but I get the vibe that she’d enjoy peanuts but dislike peanut butter, claiming “it tastes totally different!”

-we already know she’s a try hard at board games, but don’t even get her started at team games like charades or Pictionary.

~”Daisuke HOW DID YOU GET HELICOPTER FROM THAT?! I WAS LITERALLY PRETENDING TO SWIM!!!”

-I also feel like she’s an Ambivert, it all just depends on the situation and who she’s around.

-also isn’t a huge fan of physical touch unless she’s close with the person. If she is, she’s constantly touching them in some way 24/7.

-a gentle hand on their shoulder, feet touching as they lay at opposite ends of the couch, holding hands.

-she just really loves her friends.

-a huge girls girl.

-bi, with a huge leaning towards women, to be precise.

-gets overwhelmed very easily.

-has a very distinct laugh, a laugh that when you hear it-it is funnier than the joke that was told.

-originally wanted to be an astronomer and stayed up late looking out her bedroom windows connecting the stars in new constellations.

-closest to Daisuke.

-smells good, like lavender and rosemary-very earthy but it’s faint and not pungent.

SWANSEA:

-finds lint in his bellybutton 24/7.

-would lay in his recliner at home and not like what was playing in tv, but would also be too lazy to get the remote and change it, subsequently falling asleep instead.

-It’s obvious that he’s not great at expressing his love, this is shown by his interactions with Daisuke. This extends to his family too.

-was never able to offer more than a loose arm around the shoulder of his daughters or wife and a “Cheer up, it could always be worse.”

-despite this, the gifts (very personal and thought out I may add) he comes home with for them prove his love to them.

-used to be incredibly fit.

-secretly thinks Curly is a pushover and dislikes him for how he lets Jimmy treat him.

~”Now a REAL man woulda socked him something good!”

~”Please, Swansea. I can’t go assaulting my own crew!” (Ironic)

-his daughters and/or wife would periodically wake up to him stomping through the house, coughing, burping, farting, pissing loudly…basically all the things dads do.

-would always only walk around in underwear and shirt. (Not in a weird way)

-daughters would be MORTIFIED when they had friends over and they see Swansea waking up from his midday nap walking past scratching his ass in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear.

-is one of those old fashioned dads who threatens his daughters boyfriends.

-absolutely LOVES asparagus.

-one time “accidentally” hit Jimmy in the nuts pretending to swat a bug away.

-also doesn’t smell bad: a little like tabaco (I believe he smokes) and alcohol, but also a lot like motor oil and old spice.

DAISUKE:

-also a huge girls girl!

-100% has nipple piercings and you CANNOT convince me otherwise.

-had an Emo phase in middle school.

-is incredibly lucky at only board games. Anything else? Absolutely the worst luck ever.

-was generally liked throughout his schools due to his easy going and goofy nature.

-his guilty pleasure is Southpark and huddles away on the ship to watch it on his game boy (somehow).

-has jailbroken all his phones only to need to buy new ones to AGAIN jail break those ones.

-has a speed run channel on YouTube where he is actually really good and holds several records.

-did gymnastics as a kid and is incredibly flexible.

-loves playing board games with Anya just to see her get pissed off.

-will sit in medbay yapping to her for hours on end, switching from topic to topic with really no direction.

-draws little characters of all the crew members and hides them on the ship. Anya and Curly thought it was endearing, Swansea would never admit it but he did too, and Jimmy did NOT like Yimpy.

-loves watching asmr, especially scalp and hair play and jumps at the opportunities where Anya offers to play with and/or do his hair.

-despite being goofy and easygoing, he’s not stupid. He had decent grades in high school and continues to in college and can be serious when need be.

-I head cannon him as a big brother, who absolutely adores his little sister.

-oh! She wants this? He’ll buy it! She wants to go here? He’ll come with! Someone’s picking on her? He’s already taking care of it. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her.

-this man smells of sweetener. He must’ve rolled in a pile of of it because he reeks of it.

JIMMY:

-100% has and still does jerk off to photos of Curly WHO SAID THAT?!

-had an okay childhood to a single father.

-has a tramp stamp curly convinced him to get when he (Jimmy) was drunk back in college.

-also weight lifts with Curly.

-has UNNECESSARILY hairy feet. Like, all over him is hairy, but his feet are just big bushes.

-actually fairly agile.

-is obviously a Brony (duh). Curly needed to borrow his laptop one time in high school and…never again.

-his best class in high school was art! Can do fairly decent sketches and enjoys it a lot.

-really, really likes newports.

-snores loudly. To the point it will wake up people on the ship and they’ll come complaining to him. He obviously doesn’t give a shit.

-ran a Reddit account back in high school posting r/im14andthisisdeep.

-regularly tried to steal or drive away Curly’s girlfriends in high school and college, claiming he knew what was best for Curly and they were taking advantage of him.

-takes a little less care of himself than the other members, so he smells a little worse. As an aroma of musk and sweat, along with Curly’s cologne because he can’t be bothered to buy his own. (sharing is caring, right?)

BIPPIE!! I MADE MY FIRST POST ON HERE! :D

[a-b-riddle]

I binged your story after tumblr suggested it to me and it’s so good it invaded my dreams seriously, I’m gonna put down a quick recap on the off chance you wanna know if not just take my praise and ignore below, you’re writing is soooooo good! I really felt for the reader and even the guys kinda you were able to evoke my empathy for these characters and had me on the edge of my seat in just a few short chapters thank you so much for sharing your work! (Seriously I’m sharing you with all my book girls they love angst this is right up their alley)

I dreamt reader washed her hands of the men and got an arranged marriage with a nerd (like square glasses pocket protector stereo type) named ?teddy? Who was really nice and had a sleeper build and I think a library job? They adopted some giant fish & idk my dream started loosing whatever plot it had around there with something about a train trip anyways I woke up confused and wondering if arranged marriage dating apps were even a real thing and google says yes, so yeah you’re story inspired an odd though kinda sweet AU dream and my husband questioning my recent google searches 😂

I'm stuck on the arranged marriage idea now!

so my previous bosses ALL had arranged marriages and were explaining how it worked or how they met (an ad or through parents). And honestly, I would eat UP one where Indian reader dumps her artistic boyfriend who she's had to financially support for four years now and finally relents letting her parents play match maker. She's shocked to find that instead of the son of one her mother's friends (who her mom and been BRAGGING about for years), her dad had arranged for her to meet his very good friend and colleague John Price.

Reader is pissed at first. 1) because he is almost a decade older than her and 2) "A white man? NO!"

But turns out, John is ready to settle down. Doesn't care if you want to be a housewife, a stay at home mom or have a career. He's just so totally over dating in his mid-30s and wants a wife.

Even funnier, your dad tries to boost the fact that his mom is dead so you won't have a mother-in-law (this is literally what one of my bosses' father did) He was like "and his mother is dead, kanna" 💀

She marries John and doesn't realize the man has had fifteen years of income just building and building in the bank since he had been deployed for most of his life and hadn't gotten a chance to spend it. When he notices that she's getting things and hasn't gotten a notification he's like "this is your money. Spend. It."

[justevelynnnn]

My domestic poolverine hcs

warnings: logan stabs wade (ofc) and a sprinkle of profanity

A/N: i wanna do a part 2 to this but i have no ideas😭 if yall have any ideas lmk 💔 also this is barely proofread and my excuse is that i’m a busy college student

- It took a month for Logan to get used to his new home. It was Althea, Wade ofc, Mary puppins and himself. Full house.

- Logan stayed on the couch that whole first month because Wade and Althea had taken both the rooms already. Some nights he had Mary puppins lay on the couch with him.

- Eventually, Wade and Logan started sharing his bed after Wade begged logan for weeks and days

-Both of them would unconsciously fight over the sheets and bed space over night

- They also would deal with each other’s nightmares :(

- Also Logan snores….LOUD.

- Logan didn’t admit it but it was nice to sleep next to someone that wasn’t a dog or some random person he was fucking. Just someone he could really trust for once. Who had his back and best interest in mind.

- Wade was the cook until Logan showed up

- The first day Logan tried Wade’s cooking he was just like “Nope nope nope” and got up and showed Wade how to really cook

- Another wolverine secret, He was damn good cook

- Ofc, due to the 200 years of living blah blah blah

- So now Logan cooks just about everything for everyone

- Althea was happy she didn’t have to deal with Wade’s horrible food anymore and Wade was happy he had a little house wife that would cook for him when he got off work

- Just kidding…okay maybe…..

- Mary puppins also took some getting used to too

- She would bark and bark and whine for nicepool sometimes

- Wade did his best to comfort her but it wasn’t the same and nothing worked. Not the bones or new toys or silly outfits he bought her.. just nothing

- Logan, however, was okish with dogs so he knew to just let her and make little cooing noises to soothe her

- Wade damn near melted at the sight…it was sooooooo cute! He got Althea to take a picture one day for him while he was at work

- “If you hear Logan calming Mary puppins down again take a picture for me, okay? Very important! Are you listening?”

- Althea was half awake since it was morning before Wade went to work but was just like, okay whatever bye

- The picture was crooked and logan and the dog were barely in the frame.

- It still went on the fridge though!

- And many more pictures on the fridge like…

- Logan sleeping with a permanent marker mustache on his face!

- Andddd Family game night !

- And a crayon picture of Wade, Althea, Logan and Mary puppins

- There we’re also polaroids all over the house of little moments like this and also Laura when she came over

- Wade was really digging this new family thing and so was Logan he just was never gonna say it

- Pranks were also frequent

- Logan Howlett did not do pranks. Not before the x-men, during or after. So his reactions of course were way funnier.

- One was the use of random airhorns by Wade and Althea in the middle of the night, one by each of Logan’s ears as he slept. Logan jumped out of bed slashing the air angrily with his claws, swearing like they were the only words he knew. Althea was a bit more scared than Wade but still found it funny.

- Logan stabbed Wade multiple times after that.

- Another prank was Wade pulling one of those “fake news of the end of the world announcements on tv” things where he got a fake video of a government announcement saying the world was ending and because Logan barely understood technology he fully believed it and was wide eyed and quiet

- Once he started pacing with his arms on his hips Wade could barely keep a straight face

- Finally a super serious and stressed Logan goes, “You think this is fucking funny, mouth?!”

- Wade died.

- He never laughed this hard in his life. He almost ran out of air and his sides actually hurt a bit but of course healed quickly.

- Logan still didn’t get it just crossed his arms in confusion. When Althea told him Wade pranked him yet again, he threw Wade through the wall and Wade fell to the bottom floor. Ouch. But so worth it.

- When Wade came back upstairs Logan cussed him out but Canadian style because he was that mad which killed him again and he just fell back down somehow

- Random tickle fights would happen but not a lot because when Wade got to Logan he would get stabbed as Logan laughed uncontrollably

- Althea would also hate it but would laugh at least in the beginning and then start hitting wade in the face when she had enough

- Only mary puppins liked it and that’s cause she thought she was getting pets

- Laundry day was also interesting

- Wade barely did laundry on the account of working and “fighting crime” and also because he hated doing chores

- Althea couldn’t see so even when she tried to fold clothes they’d be sloppy and put in the wrong places and just no

- So logan had to step up for that too

- And surprise surprise things would be folded so neat and clean

- Sometimes though when laundry day approached but clothes were running low the two men would just share clothes

- Never boxers even if Wade insisted over and over and over

- But shirts most of the time

- So sometimes Logan’s just in a ridiculous shirt of Wade’s

- Sometimes it’s the one with the words “two seater” with the arrows pointing up and down

- Sometimes it’s a pink shirt that is like too tight?

- They also share pants, socks and pajama pants but though they each only have like 5 pair of each cause yknow…men..

- But all of the silliness and randomness that is moving in with Wade Wilson aside, Logan adjusted nicely, loving his new home and family ❤️

[kalinara]

(X-Men #14, Fall of the House of X #1, X-Men #1 - 2024)

So one of the things that I've been wanting to blog about since I went back to my origins to be a full on Cyclops-centered comics blog again, is how delightful (and maybe a bit delightfully dysfunctional) I find the modern Jean Grey and Scott Summers relationship.

You probably have an idea of where this is going already, given the number of top/bottom jokes I've made about the two. (Technically they're probably domme/sub jokes, but it's funnier to use the other terms. Also, I'm pretty sure they engage in telekinetic pegging.)

So I'm putting it behind a cut, because it's long and rambly, and with additional scans. But nothing in it should be a surprise.

Anyway it really is genuinely fascinating to me.

First of all, I'm very happy with the modern, and I think ORIGINAL, interpretation of the Jean Grey - Phoenix relationship, where the Phoenix is, always has been, and always will be, a part of Jean Grey herself. I always thought the possession/replacement story was unnecessary, and it's far more interesting to look at it as Jean all along.

But more importantly, given my focus, is that I'm delighted at how this has shaken out into this absolutely fascinating Goddess-Mortal dynamic between these two characters.

I chose the panels that I did for this post, because I feel like they really illustrate Scott's side of their relationship dynamic. You have poor Jean, who fears her power and what she might do, and constantly tries to atone for the damage she'd done in the past when she'd lost control of herself* (and I want to get back to the Dark Phoenix Saga, in a bit). And then you have Scott, whose reaction to the fact that his wife is maybe the most powerful being in the universe appears to be "my wife can beat up the entire universe, and it is fucking awesome!"

I mean look at these panels. The first one is from Judgment Day, a story that could prompt so much meta in its own right. We've seen how the Progenitor works at this point - he judges the vast majority of people and finds them wanting. A lot of times the root of his judgment seems to be based either on the character's own guilt and sense of failure (see e.g. Steve Rogers and Matt Murdock), or their complete apathy and disinterest in improvement (see: Charles Xavier). Scott seems like a sitting duck for the first kind of judgment: he IS prone to self-hatred and is haunted by his bad decisions and mistakes.

But he does something unexpected: he denies that the Progenitor has any right to judge him at al. He's willingly given that authority to only one person. And she's not here right now. And he PASSES.

Sadly, the Progenitor does end up throwing this back onto Jean during HER test:

(A.X.E. - X-Men #1)

Sadly, Scott's dead right now and not really able to clarify. But we as readers can go back and look at that top panel. That is not a man who is petrified of his wife. He may well sleep in the lair of the red dragon, but he LIKES it that way.

Basically, Scott Summers passed his Judgment Day test for being a massive submissive. And I love that.

And we see the "only my wife can judge me/would you like to meet her" thing again when Scott's on trial in Fall of the House of X.

And it's fascinating in context, because only a few issues before, he and Jean were on the outs, and she basically DOES judge him:

(It's probably wrong how hot I find it when she holds back his powers like that. It's like power-bondage or something.)

Anyway, this is from X-Men #23. In two issues, he'll be captured. She'll be DEAD. And everything goes straight to Hell. And yeah, they've implicitly resolved their issues before hand (since he's agreeing to leave the X-Men with her in Hellfire Gala), but it's still very sudden.

But in that panel, up there, he has no doubts at all. They were on the outs. She's dead. He's been tortured. And still, facing a kangaroo court, he's completely unwavering in his faith in her.

It's lovely.

Sentimentality aside, the key takeaway here is that he's not afraid of her. Even now, when she's fully integrated her power and is up in space re-igniting stars, he's not afraid of her. I'm actually not sure if he was even afraid of her in the Dark Phoenix Saga. Afraid FOR her, yes. And he certainly recognized when she lost it and tried to talk her down (and seemed to be succeeding, until Xavier interrupted!).

We do see, at one single point, Scott express any kind of feeling of inferiority to Jean. And that's in that truly delightful From the Ashes, Infinity storyline where, when she's freeing him from telepathic captivity, he shows her the hidden files in his mind - how he'd fantasized about them growing old together, and how he knows that won't happen now.

(I love the infinity comics, but it's so hard to blog with them, you know?)

But yeah, Scott's one point of vulnerability with regard to the inequality in their relationship has nothing to do with power. He just doesn't want to be forgotten.

So anyway, I included the last scan because, vulnerable issues aside, overall, he really does seem to enjoy the fact that his wife is the more powerful cavalry, who'll happily come to save and/or avenge him and is very happy to use that against anyone he wants.

It's cute and even a little childish in a fascinating way. "My dad can beat up your dad." Only it's wife, instead of dad.

(Look, I've already done the meta about Scott Summers dating people who parallel his many abusive father figures. The fact that both Emma Frost and Jack Winters have unbreakable diamond alternate forms ALONE...well...)

But we are talking about a man who hadn't really been a child since the day his parents' plane crashed, who bounced from abusive situation to abusive situation, without any hope of rescue (even from the father who was STILL ALIVE in space somewhere). It must be an incredibly heady feeling to be able to say, "YES, my wife is bigger than you and will ALWAYS come to save me."

It might be a bit of a gender subversion on the whole historical romance novel premise of the abused servant girl getting to run off with the warlord who would kill everyone who looked at her wrong.

(I also suspect there's an element of "Okay, fuck it. Everyone's blamed me for everything for so long, including me, that I'm just going to bend over and let HER punish me. And that's IT.")

As for what Jean gets out of the deal, well, she's got someone who will never be afraid of her, who admires every time she lets loose with her power, and thinks she's beautiful and amazing, and helps keep her connected with her past, her self and humanity, not by trying to rein her in, but by providing her with basic human comforts (like an unnecessary space ship), simply to make her happy.

Let's just hope that nothing ever happens to him. Because, well, as I've said before, the thing that most adaptations miss about the Dark Phoenix Saga, is that it's never been about a woman being too powerful for anyone's good. It's about a woman who gets repeatedly gaslit, manipulated, mentally fucked around with, who then watches the man she love get hurt and (apparently) die without being able to do anything about it.

...well, I'm a whump fan who likes seeing powerful ladies wreak havoc to rescue hurt and vulnerable men. So I know what I would like to see happen...

[askchilchuck]

Hey, how can I help you?

(Please read below before interacting)

Hi! My name is Sophie! This blog has gotten enough traction that I feel the need to lay some ground rules for it.

1) This blog is intended to be PG13 so I don’t have to exclude younger fans from participating. I will not be answering anything that wouldn’t fly in canon, or is adjacent to it. Anything explicitly sexual, or can be construed that way will not be answered. This decision was made a couple months in, so do be advised there is some more suggestive content on the earlier posts on this blog. If you don't want to see that kind of content, stick to the newer posts.

2) Nothing related to suicide please. I tried playing it off the first time but between myself and some people around me, even the “KYS 🥰🥰🥰” jokes really aren’t funny, especially recently. Asks including it will not be answered.

3) No firearms. Related to rule 2.

4) Please no spammy asks. I’m honestly not sure how to answer them, and they clog up both the blog itself and the main tags.

5) No political asks. I understand how terrifying the results of the US election are, but I really need this place to be a break from all that. For my sake and yours. We both need spaces where we can recharge from this. Chilchuck doesn’t know what’s going on anyway, he deserves to live in ignorance from it. I love you.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to bully him, but these things cross a line for me. Thank you for understanding.

If you’re an RP blog, you’re more than welcome to interact! Even if you’re not a Dunmeshi blog! I don’t always have the time to do reblog chains, though, so please don’t feel bad if I miss you there. It’s easiest for me if you submit RP as an ask when the box is open. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. If you’re 18+ and interested, I also do private RP on my Discord, linked on my Dunmeshi side blog.

IN LIGHT OF DUPLICATE CHARACTERS:

I think that’s awesome and also really funny. I encourage it. We’ve already got a loose MCU/multiverse plot line going on so we can totally make it work, too. Hell yeah. Hilarious. Love that. /gen

Blog lore:

This blog takes place loosely post canon. I try to avoid spoilers, but little things here and there are inevitable. Chilchuck has made up with his wife and they’re currently working on their relationship. Chilchuck is also in therapy. This is for a few reasons.

1) I don’t think he’d actually answer any of these if he wasn’t.

2) He doesn’t talk about it a lot, but it was one of his wife’s conditions before giving the relationship another go.

3) He just. Should be in general and I have control of it so it’s happening lol

My Chil is bi, but in the middle-aged “everyone’s had gay thoughts before” kinda way, cause I think it’s funnier that way. He also gets high from time-to-time now that he’s not dungeneering anymore.

Folks kept turning him into different things/animals, so goldstar/⭐️ anon gave him an amulet to put a stop to that. "Marcus" also altered the spell on the amulet to encompass all transformations, since inanimate objects weren't initially included.

Squeaker also used a device to prevent any crab transformations specifically from occurring, as well as ejecting all crabs within a 20 mile radius.

There’s also a cult stalking him for some reason. (This is an ongoing problem. They haven't hurt anyone, and they seem to only be targeting Chilchuck.)

The TVA (Marvel) is loosely involved as well as previously mentioned. Squeak fixed it (or so she thought. There's now a DMCU situation going on.)

Also, Chil’s knowledge of the blog/Tumblr varies depending on what would be funnier, but generally he’s aware of the internet. He only uses his phone to answer your asks, though. He has no idea how to do anything else and has no desire to. This means he doesn’t fact check people or knows anything about the greater internet experience. No one knows how he got the phone, or how it’s holding a charge. Don’t worry about it.

ADDENDUM:

Chilchuck has recently started googling slang, and anything else that might be confusing or annoying to him. However, he hates the search feature and trying to find answers on individual websites, and will take the AI generated answers without question.

I myself don’t talk in the main posts, unless it’s tagged #ooc. Otherwise, I’ll always talk in the tags if I’ve got something to say. Or replies. Or DMs. Main post is the only place I’m in character unless specified otherwise.

Emoji anons:

•⭐️/goldstar anon

•🦉/owl anon

•👻/ghost anon

•♡/heart anon

•🐭/mouse anon

•🍬/candy anon

•🥣/bowl (cereal?) anon

•🐻🏀/bear basket ball anon

•🃏/joker anon

•🟣/Gojo Satoru

•🪻

•🐦‍⬛

No other heart variants have been claimed. Also, heads up to all emoji anons, I’m going to start using just one tag for your asks going forward to make tagging easier! So I’ll just be using the emoji variant from here 💖

If you want to hang out with me in a less censored environment, I also run @chilfucked and @askchilchucknsfw which are 18+ only. I will ban all minors who so much as breathe on those blogs. I’m not joking.

I also reserve the right to update these rules as time goes on, so please check them again before submitting when the ask box is open again. Thank you!

[jamethinks]

Ch 108 spoilers + discussion of DV

I said it before that I think it would be funnier of Donovan went to therapy, but I still think Melinda going might have the same impact on Twilight.

It would pose a very personal challenge to Twilight beyond his fake family. It's a case of domestic abuse something he actually experienced growing. It was confirmed that he was at least 10 when his parents died which means he was far more aware and in tune with what was going on his family.

I think he would be put in a weird position

a) use the information he gets from Melinda to take Donovan down but also put a clear victim in the middle of it and possibly make the whole situation a lot worse

b) stay quiet and prolong the mission until she is able to get safe assume she even thinks she's in danger in the first place

This gets tricky when you consider how people perceive abuse vs. how it actually is. It's easy to think all Twilight has to do it tell Melinda "Hey let's work together to take down Donovan" and i wouldn't be surprised in that is what will happen but realistically it would be a lot harder than that.

Abuser don't just hurt their victims. They convince them that they deserve whatever pain comes their way. They are at fault for everything bad that happens to them. In other words, they wouldn't want to just leave or even hurt their partner because they don't think of them as doing something wrong.

Melinda isn't afraid of Donovan because he's a terrible person. She is afraid of him because she's a terrible person who does terrible things that make him hurt her. He wouldn't harm her if she wasn't such a problematic woman.

There's also the issue of who Melinda is. She's a victim of abuse but she's still the wife of a fascist. Associating with her, endangering WISE to help or save her could easily backfire (probably won't but let me have my angst) against them. It would also make it harder for her to trust him. Would take long for Donovan's programming to cut back in and Melinda to run right back to him because everything he said was right.

Idk my thoughts are very inherent right now I am delirious for different reasons.

Tldr: can't wait for the next arc.

[chaifootsteps]

do you think Homer Simpson is a better father than Stolas? my instant response is 'yes' but it's kind of hard to articulate why

on the surface they share a lot of the same flaws - selfishness, insensitivity - but I think what makes the difference for me is that Homer does show up for his kids when they need them

even Stolas' best moment as a father - when he actually listened to Via at Loo Loo Land - pales in comparison to the speech he gives Lisa when Mr Bergstrom leaves, or the Do It For Her photo (working a job he hates for Maggie's sake - Stolas wouldn't know anything about working or sacrifice) or...to be honest I'm blanking on a nice moment between him and Bart but I think there must be one in there somewhere.

when you compare the worst they've ever done it's no contest either. the closest Homer ever got to bringing someone he was cheating with around his kids was when the wife he accidentally married in Vegas showed back up in a late season episode. and he not only didn't want her around but she arguably took advantage of him because the two women got him and Ned hitched in a Vegas wedding because he was drunk, he didn't do it willingly

and whenever he messes up big enough to jeopardize the family he puts them first. I certainly can't imagine Homer moping around distracted by something else if a hitman is a danger to Marge or the kids!

I don't know if Homer's a better dad, but I think it's pretty close and if nothing else, he's a much funnier one. He's a deeply loving father whose crappy parenting is played for laughs as opposed to Stolas, who's coddled by the narrative and whose daughter is increasingly vilified for his mistakes.

As an aside, this exchange is pure Stolas.

"I promise you kids lots of things. That's what makes me such a good father!"

"Actually, keeping promises would make you a good father."

"No, that would make me a great father."

[overthestars-and-offtoneverland]

Olaf's Last Name

Look, I know he'll never have a canon last name and we've already gone through the "Labinski" fiasco.

I wanna go through several options I've been considering for headcanons and why each would possibly work (or not). Hell, Labinski can even stay because someone else has already mapped that out (Though I'm gonna be annoying and tell you why I personally disagree. If you like it, keep it. All power to ya).

Actually, you know what? Labinski is going first! Why? Because it actually kinda helps my case for the other options. Onwards!

Olaf Labinski (Credit to @snicketsleuth)

Pros:

As Sleuth pointed out, Olaf's first name and title appears to be in reference to the character of the same name in Theophile Gautier’s novel Avatar. So, hypothetically, it makes sense to give our Count Olaf the same last name.

Cons:

However, here's my personal issue. Doing that A. Feels a little like plagiarism and B. Doesn't fit Handler's literary reference naming convention because of point A.

Whenever a character has a literary reference name, it is never a direct one. Esme, for example, is named after a poem. "To Esme with Love and Squalor" and Jerome is named after the poet who wrote it (That's the J in J.D. Salinger). Note his name is not directly Jerome Salinger.

Mr. Poe's obviously an Edgar Allen Poe reference. But his name is Arthur. His sons hold the more direct reference names.

Uncle Monty's a Monty Python joke.

Hell, this is actually why I know for a fact that Charles' last name is not Baudelaire. Our leads are names after Sir Charles Baudelaire, yes. But it's no coincidence that the Baudelaire children are temporarily in the custody of two men who go by Sir and Charles.

The only exception to this I can think of is Georgina Orwell just being the feminization of George Orwell because it's a tongue in cheek about the hypnotism thing. But even then, it's still not one-for-one.

So, him being straight up named Count Olaf Labinski when that name already belongs to someone else's character doesn't fit to me. However...

Let's get into some other options

Olaf Gautier

So apparently some of the reason the Labinski thing happened is hypothetically because Charles Baudelaire and Theophile Gautier had beef. So, my proposal, Gautier does fit the literary naming convention because it pits rival against rival again in a meta sense.

Also, think of the comedy of Olaf having a French last name. I don't know if it's funnier if he pronounces it correctly or not ("Gautier" is usually pronounced in the US as "Goh-Shay" [Wrong] it's pronounced in with the "CH" sound "Goh-Chay" [Correct] in French. Source: Lived in a town called Gautier named after the family that founded it. Was classmates with the grandson of this family) The jokes write themselves. I personally think it's funnier if Olaf pronounces it with the correct "CH" sound but everyone else treats him like he doesn't know how to say his own name.

Olaf Von Bulow

Okay, so this requires a little lore. To those of you who don't know, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny get their first names from the attempted murder trial of Claus Von Bulow. Klaus, though his name is altered in spelling, is named after the defendant, who (allegedly, he was acquitted) poisoned his wife Sunny, and was prosecuted by a woman named Violet (The Violet source is a little fuzzy. I just know she's named after one of the lawyers involved).

Dude, how messed up would it be if Olaf's last name was still in reference to this trial? It would be a really messed up way to make him into a matching set with the kids.

Also Von Bulow, like Labinski, does fit the general geography of where a name like "Olaf" would exist

Take it all with a grain of salt, just felt like throwing my hat in the ring on some options that generally fit canon naming conventions.

And no, I will not be addressing the "Olaf Baudelaire" theory ^_^. Too much canon material is super against the idea that Olaf and Beatrice are siblings. One super big one I can point to is Olaf being listed by Lemony as one of Beatrice's potential suitors in The Beatrice Letters ("-or even O"). Really don't think incest is what he had in mind when he was talking about marrying anyone that would make her happy especially since he brings up that R is on the table even though same-sex marriage wasn't a thing at the time.

Love to hear any other options anyone can come up with!

[hooked-on-elvis]

𝗜 𝗪𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥-𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛 "𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗛𝗔𝗕𝗜𝗧" 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗬... It's not really anything from our business but Elvis' personal life is very, very entertaining - plus, knowing those things fans can always choose to live vicariously through the King's enormous list of love affairs.

From The News Examiner by author Trina Young — whom I love, btw... she really does an incredible job researching on Elvis' life and career — watch the video above on Elvis' romances on set of Change Of Habit (1969). Below, an excerpt from a book mentioned there:

While on set, Elvis and Mary, during breaks would "lie on a big blanket out in sunshine of the park, surrounded by extras and other actors, making out like teenagers. I don't mean affectionate pecks on the lips either. I'm talking about arms wrapped around each other during lip-locks that lasted fifteen minutes or half an hour. No one else on the set paid any attention to this behavior." From reporter Ann Moses' memoir book, released in 2017, "MEOW! My Groovy Life with Tiger Beat's Teen Idols":

Can you even look at these pictures the same way now?

PERSONAL COMMENT: Man, Mary Tyler Moore AND Jane Elliot? Seriously? Elvis had no shame at all, if that is true. Well, he certainly didn't - just thinking about the fact that he was married and had a tiny little baby at the time - but which actor or musician does? Very few. I always see things like this from a perspective of real life... If people in real life cheat all the time then how could we expect that stunning people, with money and fame and all the temptations surrounding them 24/7, don't do it? I mean, it doesn't make things right but it's not something only Elvis and Mary did - and at least concerning E we all know his wife cheated on him too, at given point - so we can drop the judgmental comments on marital status here because that's old news.

What shocks me is the suspicion he was having a thing with two of his co-stars from the same movie. Okay, supposedly it wasn't at the exact same time - apparently Mary was "inaccessible", according to Jane Elliot, so Elvis and Mary didn't get along very well compared to his relationship with other actors that worked on COH, and for that we can suppose she and Jane weren't actually friends either. Trina supposes his romance with Mary was very short-lived... and then (or prior to him and Mary happening) him and Jane happened. At least E (supposedly) wasn't having a thing with two girls who were friends with each other, behind their backs and at the same time but still... co-workers! Surreal. To me this is shocking. I always believed Mary when she said she didn't have a thing with E... Jane I had my suspicious but it's still not confirmed as far as I know. But now that I learn Mary was (apparently) lying, from a reliable source, eye-witness, adding this to the rumors (some gossip from the director based on situational "proof") that E and Jane had an affair during the making of COH... this got even funnier (to be kind).

I personally believe Ann Moses when she shares many, many years later what she saw between E and Mary in 1969 - and based on pictures I also believe him and Jane had a thing going on at the same period. I'm not judging any of them here. Even if it was all true, we don't know the real situation (how that happened, why it happened, the mood between the actors…) Still, c'mon, isn't that weird to imagine that Jane might could've seen Elvis and Mary and afterwards (or at the same time, who knows?) she got together with him even so? In other situation, isn't that weird to imagine, on the worst case scenario, that E got together with Jane and then he moved on to Mary right on Jane's face? Now, they were all grown-ups, all of them knew what they were getting themselves into (hopefully). I'm just sharing my thoughts, not for a sec intending to create any kind of morality shame on those people. Just like everything about Elvis, his love life is something we have fun (?) speculating about. Anyhow, one thing is true... ELVIS AND MARY TYLER MOORE DID HAVE A THING GOING ON IN 1969.

Oh, and about Mary saying Elvis said he slept with all of his co-stars except one, meaning it was her? I've read somewhere that Marlyn Mason said the same thing. I guess she was really the only one. Okay, making out and "getting into bed with each other" are two different things but still... things point more to Marlyn being the one than Mary. Again, who knows?

[physalian]

On Writing Theme (Or, Make it a Question)

An element of story so superficially understood and yet is the backbone of what your work is trying to say. Theme is my favorite element to design and implement and the easiest way to do that? Make it a question.

A solid theme takes an okay action movie and propels it into blockbuster infamy, like Curse of the Black Pearl. It turns yet another Batman adaptation into an endlessly rewatchable masterpiece, seeing the same characters reinvented yet again and still seeing something new, in The Dark Knight. It’s the spiraling drain at the bottom of classic tragedies, pulling its characters inevitably down to their dooms, like in The Great Gatsby.

Theme is more than just “dark and light” or “good and evil”. Those are elements that your story explores, but your theme is what your story *says* with those elements. 

For example: Star Wars takes “dark vs light” incredibly literally (ignoring the Sequels). Dark vs Light is what the movies pit against each other. How the selfish, corrupted, short-sighted nature of the Dark Side inevitably leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom—that’s what the story is about.

A story can have more than one theme, more than one statement it wants to make and more than one question to answer. Star Wars is also about the inevitable triumph of unity and ‘goodness’ over division and ‘evil’.

Part of why I love fantasy is how allegorical it can be. Yes I’m writing a story with vampires, but my questions to my characters are, “What makes a monster? Why is it a monster?” My characters’ arcs are the answer to my theme question.

Black Pearl is a movie that dabbles in the dichotomy between law-abiding soldiers and citizens, and the lawless pirates who elude them. Black Pearl’s theme is that one can be a pirate and also a good man, and that neither side is perfect or mutually exclusive, and that strictly adhering to either extreme will lead you to tragedy.

Implementing your theme means, in my opinion, staging your theme like a question and answering it with as many characters and plot beats as possible. In practice?

Q: Can a pirate be a good man? A: Jack is. Will is. Elizabeth is. Barbossa is selfish and short-sighted, and he loses. Norrington is too focused on propriety and selfless duty, and he loses.

Or, in Gatsby.

Q: Is life fulfilled by living in the past? A: Mr. Buchanan clings to his old-money ways and is a sour lout with no respect for anyone or himself. Daisy clings to a marriage that failed long ago, to retain an image and security she thinks she needs. Myrtle chases a man she can’t ever have. Her husband lusts after a wife who’s no longer his. Gatsby… well we all know what happens to him.

The more characters and plot beats you have to answer your theme’s question, the more cohesive a message you’ll send. It can be a statment the story backs up as well, as seen below, questions just naturally invite answers.

—

Do you need a theme?

Not technically, no. Plenty of stories get by on their other solid elements and leave the audience to draw their own conclusions and take their own meaning and messages. Your average romance novel probably isn’t written with a moral. Neither are your 80s/90s action thrillers. Neither are many horror movies. Theme is usually reserved for dramas, and usually in dramatic fantasy and sci-fi, where the setting tends to be an allegory for whatever message the author is trying to send. That, and kids movies.

Sometimes you just want to tell a funny story and you don’t set out with any goals of espousing morals and lessons you want your readers to learn and that is perfectly okay. I still think saying *something* will make the funny funnier or the drama more dramatic or the romance more romantic, but that’s just me and what I like to read.

When it is there, it’s right in front of your face way more often than you might think. Here’s some direct quotes succinctly capturing the main theses of a couple famous works:

“He’s a good man.” / “No, he’s a pirate.” - Curse of the Black Pearl

“What are we holding onto, Sam?” / “That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.” - LotR, Two Towers

“Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.” - LotR, Fellowship of the Ring

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.” - Horton Hears a Who

“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” - The Dark Knight

“Can’t repeat the past? Why of course you can!” - The Great Gatsby

“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.” & “Life finds a way.” - Jurassic Park

"Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind." - Lilo & Stitch

“But… I’m supposed to be beautiful.” / “You are beautiful.” - Shrek

“I didn’t kill him because he looked as scared as I was. I looked at him, and I saw myself.” - How to Train Your Dragon

“There are no accidents.” & “There is no secret ingredient.” & “You might wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.” - Kung Fu Panda

*If any of those are wrong, I did them entirely from memory, sue me.

Some of the best scenes in these stories are where the theme synthesizes in direct dialogue. There’s this moment of catharsis where you, the audience, knew what the story has been saying, but now you get to hear it put into words.

Or, these are the lines that stick in your head as you watch the tragedy unfold around the characters and all they didn’t learn when they had the chance.

When it comes to stories that have a very strong moral and never feel like they’re preaching to you, look no further than classic Pixar movies.

“Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.” - Ratatouille

“I’m not strong enough.” / “If we work together, you don’t have to be.” - The Incredibles

“Just keep swimming!” - Finding Nemo

Ellie’s adventure book, to live your own adventure, even if it’s not the one you thought it would be - Up

The Wheel Well montage, to slow down every once in a while, because in a flash, it’ll be gone - Cars

The entire first dialogue-less section of Wall-E, to stop our endless consumption or else

The real monsters are corporate consumption - Monsters Inc

One cannot fully appreciate happiness without a little sadness - Inside Out

With enough loud voices, the common man can overthrow The Man - A Bug’s Life

A person’s worth is not determined by their value to other people - Toy Story

These are the themes that I, personally, took from these movies as a kid and later in life. If I remembered the scripts any better I could probably pull some direct dialogue to support them, but, sadly, I do not have the entire Pixar catalog memorized.

—

After you’ve suffered through rigorous literary analysis classes for years on end, the “lit analyst” hat kind of never comes off. Sometimes you try to find a theme where none exists, coming up with your own. Sometimes you can very easily see the skeleton attempt at having a theme and a message that came out half-baked, and all the missed opportunities to polish it.

Whatever the case, while theme isn’t *necessary*, having that through line, an axis around which your entire story revolves, can be a fantastic way to examine which elements of your WIP aren’t meshing with the rest, why a character is or isn’t clicking, how you want to end it, or, even, how you want to approach a sequel.

Unfortunately, very, very often, a movie, book, or season of TV has a fantastic execution of a theme in its first run, and the ensuing sequels forget all about it.

No one here is going to defend Michael Bay’s Transformers movies as cinematic masterpieces, however, the first movie did actually have a thematic through line: “No sacrifice, no victory.” They didn’t stick the landing but, you know, the attempt was made. Where is that theme at all in the sequels? Nonexistent. They could have even explored a different theme and they abandoned it altogether.

Black Pearl’s thematic efforts fell away to lore and worldbuilding in its two sequels. Not that they’re bad! I love Dead Man’s Chest, but to those who don’t like the sequels, that missing element may be part of why.

Shrek and Shrek 2 both centered on their theme of beauty being how you define it and no one else. Fiona finds true love in her “true” form, then strengthens that message in the sequel when she has the chance to be “normal” and conventionally attractive, and still chooses to be an ogre, to be with Shrek. Shrek 3’s theme is…? 

When it was never there, that theme is missing isn’t so obvious. When it used to be there and got left behind, it leaves a crater in its wake everyone notices, even if they can’t pinpoint why.

—

TLDR: Theme is more than just vague nouns and dichotomies. Good, evil, dark, light, selfishness, altruism, beauty, ugliness, riches, poverty, etc are what your story uses. Your theme is what your story has to say with those elements, using as many characters and plot points as possible to reinforce its message. Is it necessary? No. Is it helpful and does it lead to a richer experience? Yes.