#Not being told by someone on the internet that you should “Already know this”

[01zfan]

bad friend: bestfriend’s sister

brothers bestfriend!sungchan x reader | 5.3k words

well...you guys know i couldn't end it without sungchan getting his lick back.

contains: eunseok and sungchan are in a war that hasn't been vocally waged, sungchan is kind of a manipulator, reader is semi-innocent, some sort of tension between sungchan and eunseok that neither of them acknowledge

bad friend: AITA

Sungchan was disappointed that it took him so long to figure out what to do. After he read Eunseok’s Reddit post he had to think, picking at the peeling skin of the vinyl seat he was in. 

He sat in the seat of the cafe closer to their apartment basking in rage while his bestfriend was unaffected. Eunseok barely looked up from his laptop, Sungchan imagined his friend was editing the post as he sat right across from him. He could see Eunseok mouthing words, repeating phrases back to himself before he could hear backspacing on his computer and some more typing. Sungchan felt his friend’s eyes occasionally lift to look at him, and when he would catch his eyes Eunseok would snap right back to his screen.

Sungchan could feel the atmosphere around them change, until Eunseok couldn’t bare it anymore and closed his laptop. Sungchan stared at the logo of Eunseok's laptop, thinking about the post that his friend was working on only moments ago.

“Are you ready to go back to the apartment?”

Eunseok hesitated with each movement. Sungchan was unbothered, stretching his back and arms until they rested on the vinyl seats again.

He couldn't lie and say he didn't enjoy seeing Eunseok uneasy from the tension. Asking about something as trivial as food left in their shared fridge made Eunseok finally drop that nonchalant act. The facade fell to show what Eunseok truly was, remorseful even if he tried to hide it and thinking about what he did to his alleged roommate and bestfriend.

Sungchan enjoyed seeing Eunseok uncomfortable, he hoped that it was guilt. Eunseok was so used to being the diplomat he didn’t know what to do when he was the one waging a war. Sungchan recalled the times Eunseok's easygoing attitude got him out of trouble while growing up. Eunseok asking Sungchan is it worth it? when he was about to lose his cool or telling him to calm down in that annoying monotone voice.

Sungchan could tell his friend didn’t know how to face a problem he created. Sungchan was sure the comments on whatever he was going to post would be telling him that he wasn’t the asshole. That's what losers on the Internet did. They convened in the dark corners, circle jerking and letting eachother know that even at their lowest they're justified. There would be someone like Sungchan, well adjusted and socialized telling him he should come clean. That he should tell Sungchan that he slept with his girlfriend. Sungchan even gave him the perfect segue into the conversation. All he had to do was come clean about the leftover food in the fridge. Sungchan would even let Eunseok lie, he could tell Sungchan that you came onto him, and he couldn't deny you. He could spare Sungchan the details because he read them already, he could just say that he wanted you to feel better.

Sungchan looked from the barista behind the counter back to Eunseok. He was taking too long to slip his laptop into the secure place in his backpack.

“My sister is coming over later today, by the way.” Eunseok was still looking into his backpack, speaking to it quietly. “Some mail still ends up going to my parents house for some reason. So she’s bringing it to me. She might bring some food too.” He added.

Food was always the olive branch extended between the two of them. When Sungchan was invited to that birthday party in elementary school and Eunseok wasn't he brought him vegetable dumplings from the convenience store. When Eunseok beat Sungchan at the schools spelling bee they ate samgyeopsal until Sungchan thought his stomach would explode. Food was always how they silently told eachother the other went too far without directly saying it, and each time it worked. The resentment that built up over the twenty years of friendship was in no way related to the fact they never actually talked about their problems. That was something that couldn't be explained, or maybe Eunseok could ask a fucking sub-reddit about it.

But what was important was that Eunseok was offering another olive branch. Although Eunseok nodded his head, Sungchan barely listened to the rest of Eunseok’s mumble, they were going to be even. Eunseok was talking about the mail that ended up at his parents house, or something about the coffee here, but Sungchan couldn't be bothered. Revenge walked into his lap, mentioned candidly while Eunseok tried hard to push past the uneasy feeling in his heart.

When Eunseok finally looked up from his backpack to look at Sungchan, he had already honed his emotions and changed the expression on his face to something neutral.

“I didn’t know your sister was coming over.” Sungchan tried remembering what you were doing with your life now. Your brother rarely mentioned you for some reason. You were just a contact on Eunseok’s phone that would call when you had a question about your computer and an old contact photo in his family’s groupchat. “Is she back in town?” He asked.

After Sungchan asked his question Eunseok had the nerve to side eye him from his backpack. As if Eunseok wasn’t the one who fucked his bestfriends girlfriend then was going on the Internet to garner sympathy. He looked at Sungchan like he was the crazy one for asking about your life.

“Only for a month or so." Eunseok stood up from his recliner and Sungchan followed suit. "She's staying in town for a friend's wedding or something.”

Sungchan could tell that Eunseok really wanted to repeat what he told him all those years ago. Back when the three of you became young adults and Sungchan stopped looking at you like you were Eunseok’s little sister.

Eunseok caught on fast, but you were more like Sungchan when it came to hiding things. All cards were on the table, you couldn’t hide your adoration for your older brother's bestfriend.

In the beginning Eunseok and Sungchan just chalked it up to you wanting to know how boys had fun. When he would complain about you suddenly taking an interest in video games or action figures your mother always told Eunseok to let you play. When he was still young and hardheaded he would protest, saying you were a girl and his sister and he didn't want to play with you. But when you wouldn't budge and neither were his parents, Eunseok was forced to become indifferent.

He had to be indifferent about your presence because his parents would always take your side. Sometime during that, Eunseok became indifferent to you as a whole. He never wanted the responsibilities of an older brother so he nevver doted on you or was protective.

Sungchan noticed that you two never became close. Even when you got older and started to become your own person, Eunseok was unconcerned with what was going on in your life. Sungchan watched you both separately behave like only children, living under the same roof but never having conversations that went beyond telling the other that dinner was ready. 

Eunseok would never admit that you were closer to Sungchan than you were to him, that you favored being around him. There are pictures of you hanging on the wall at Eunseok's parents' place. An old digital picture at Sungchan and Eunseok's soccer game, clinging to Sungchan instead of your brother. You were barely to his waist then, but your smile was bigger than the two of there's put together. You held onto him so tight it wrinkled his jersey. When you would call for your older brother it used to be in reference to Sungchan, when you wanted comfort you used to run past Eunseok right into Sungchan's arms. You used to complain about Sungchan having to go to his own house instead of spending another night at your place.

When the looks you started giving him became more obvious and turned to something different. Overnight you started hanging on every word Sungchan would say, batting your eyelashes and looking up at him. Eunseok and Sungchan still hung around after they graduated highschool and you were nearly done yourself. During that gap year you seemed to always be home, seniors in highschool always seemed to be everywhere else but school.

Eunseok was casual about it, he always was. He would only look between you and Sungchan's exchanges, nothing more than a scratch at the top of his head and everything else was forgotten. Sungchan knew that being an older brother was never something Eunseok strived to excel at, he remembered the casual confession from his friend that he never asked for a younger sibling. Eunseok described your existence as something that just happened one day, his parents went to the hospital and he was watched by his grandparents all day. Sungchan could even recall the day sometimes, how he was buzzing with excitement at the thought of seeing a baby while his friend only shrugged his shoulders.

Eunseok was convinced that he had to still remain indifferent to you. But Sungchan could tell that it upset him to no end that he was bested at another thing. Even if something was irking Eunseok so deeply about whatever was blossoming he refused to let it show. The idea of Eunseok truly not caring upset Sungchan even more. He was too stoic.

Eunseok’s calm demeanor regarding you pissed Sungchan off. If he had a sister and he caught wind of mutual attraction he would’ve forbid Eunseok from coming over before it ever turned into whatever your stares at him had become. But Eunseok was a sleazy older brother, nonchalant and more concerned with video games and anime than being protective of you. Then Eunseok went as far to accuse Sungchan of liking you because he cared more about where you were going dressed the way you were. Sungchan was the one asking if you needed to be picked up later, if your parents knew what you were doing. Eunseok would only ask more questions to follow his friends lead, side-eyeing your conversation he was pushed out of. Eunseok would have to clear his throat to get the focus back on him, and then he would finally try being an older brother. But it was obvious he was only doing it for show.

He thinks to this day Eunseok never truly cared about protecting you when he gave Sungchan the rule, he just wanted to stand between another thing Sungchan was good at.

Eunseok was casual about it, paying more attention to the game than Sungchan. Sungchan stopped playing entirely, he could feel the controller vibrate in his hand with each hit he was taking. Eunseok didn’t look towards him once. He bit his lip in concentration from pressing the buttons at the right time, leaning back like the game was fair as Sungchan lost. Eunseok watched his character rip out the spine of Sungchan’s character in a gruesome way while the announcer called out the fatality. 

You had to have picked up on the rule. The dynamic between Sungchan and Eunseok changed that night and Sungchan knew you noticed, He gave you more credit than Eunseok ever did, even if you conflated things and blew them out of proportion. You thought that it was funny to call them boyfriends, and you said they were always in competition with eachother. Your commentary on their relationship was one of the things that pushed Eunseok to get his own place, because he couldn’t get rid of you but to his dismay he couldn’t get rid of Sungchan either. So that night only after Eunseok won a game over Sungchan, he told him two things.

He was getting his own apartment but he needed a roommate.

Sungchan absolutely could not, under any circumstance, fuck his sister. 

When you’d come around looking for Eunseok but find Sungchan you still had that look of adoration in your eyes, but Sungchan had respect for his friend. He avoided you, looked past you, would end up gone each time you came around. He knew you were looking for him, because he wasn’t stupid and you were more like your brother than you would ever know. When you stopped coming around after they moved in together Sungchan knew you knew he was purposefully making himself scarce. He also knew that Eunseok would feign benevolence each time, and would’ve just shrugged his shoulders if you asked where he was. 

Sungchan convinced himself that all was fair in the car ride back to the apartment. Eunseok was the one who waged the war, and the way you always looked at Sungchan was reminiscent of something tender. Maybe not love but blind adoration. A childhood crush that was never requited. Sungchan knew the crush was still fresh for you, because you still asked where he was each time he came around. He knew it still bothered Eunseok because he would always avoid giving you a straight answer. Sungchan would just have to be there to tell you himself.

Sungchan and Eunseok spent another quiet night on separate ends of their couch, watching a television show neither of them liked. The episodes dragged on after they were finished eating. It was obvious both of them were focused on other things. Eunseok’s leg was permanently restless, and Sungchan had his head balanced on his hand while the other picked at the couch. 

Your knock on the door gave Eunseok an excuse to call it a night, he got up too quick and paused the television show too fast. Sungchan lingered on the couch. When Eunseok’s back faced him he fixed his appearance, making sure his shirt fell just right and his hair looked nice, that he wasn’t getting the life drained out of him by boring television and his boring roommate. He made sure the hair you always used to pull at when you were younger looked fluffy, and the shoulders you used to hang off of when Eunseok didn’t want to play with you looked broad.

Instead of going back into his room when Eunseok opened the door for you Sungchan stayed right there, he even leaned forward to come into your line of sight. Sungchan watched you try focusing on your brother before you looked over his shoulder, then he watched Eunseok follow your line of sight until he grabbed the mail from your hands.

“Is that it?” Eunseok spoke loudly but you still didn’t look at him. Watching him try to be a big brother after all this time was amusing. Sungchan hoped he saw the way your eyes still focused on him, how you spoke to Eunseok but stayed looking at Sungchan on the couch. “Mom found some of your clothes laying around and she made me bring that too. She also made me bring food because she knows you guys are eating only eating takeout.”

“She made food for me too?” Sungchan asked.

He got up from the couch, and he watched you two focus on him. You two were too easy to fluster. Eunseok narrowed his eyes and you nodded your head mindlessly.

“Of course, she loves you.” Eunseok turned back towards you, because his mom rarely said something so heartfelt. Like Sungchan hadn’t been there a majority of Eunseok’s childhood to see it first hand, he watched you take your shake your head and quickly motion between him and Eunseok. “She loves you both. She loves you both and the food is in my car.” 

Before Eunseok could reluctantly offer to help you, Sungchan was clearing the apartment and sliding on Eunseok’s crocs. He took his friends small shoes and crammed his feet in them, knowing those were things Eunseok had chided him for in the past. 

Sungchan didn’t close the door in Eunseok’s face. He let him see the way your expression lit up, he let him see the way he looked down at you with a smile. He wanted Eunseok to bask in it, he wanted you to ignore him when he insisted he could help you instead. He let Eunseok’s thoughts ferment in the entryway and wonder what you two were talking about while he scrambled around the apartment for another pair of his shoes. When Eunseok finally made it down the stairs to the parking lot Sungchan let him see the moment you put your number in his phone before realizing he was there, and he let Eunseok see the way you tried to act inconspicuous about the whole thing. 

The following weeks, Sungchan played you and your brother. Eunseok’s guilt made it easy. Eunseok knew that Sungchan was texting you because he didn’t try to hide it. He saw your name pop up on his phone screen, he saw the way you came around everyday. Eunseok suddenly had a million things waiting for him at his parents place, and you were the only one who could bring it by. Eunseok didn’t press the issue further because he didn’t know how to be a good big brother after years of pretending you didn’t exist, and he didn’t know how to be a good friend after fucking Sungchan’s ex. He just watched and waited, question on the tip of his tongue when Sungchan would tell him he would be bringing company over at night.

Eunseok did try to catch him in the act once. In the middle of the night after Eunseok came back from what Sungchan assumed to be another visit to his ex he heard him come through the door. Almost instantly when the front door close Sungchan let himself get louder, letting go of his bitten lip to let the smallest sounds slip through the walls. Sungchan had the biggest room but it was right by the entryway, he could hear Eunseok’s loud steps stop right by his closed door. Sungchan ignored the quiet knocks, instead getting louder and squeezing his hand tighter. 

When Eunseok opened the door, Sungchan jolted in his bed. He pretended like he didn’t hear Eunseok the past week try to subtly drops hints about how he was too loud late at night. He watched his friend’s expression shift from triumph of catching him in the act to pure horror when he realized it was Sungchan in his room by himself.

After Sungchan told him to get out, he had to worry about Eunseok’s presence alot less. Guilt from walking in on his roommate masturbating tacked on with the guilt of fucking his ex-girlfriend made Eunseok disappear all together. He was doing things on his own throughout the day and turned the sound up on his headset late at night. When Sungchan would come out to grab something from the common area Eunseok would duck away no matter what he was doing. Food was left on the table and the fridge was practically left open, the only trace of him being there was the glow from his headset and the sound of his door closing. 

Eunseok unfortunately made himself too hidden. Sungchan realized after the fact that he foolishly pushed his bestfriend past his limit, turning him into a complete hermit. When Sungchan started sneaking you into the apartment Eunseok never got the chance to get a glimpse of you. The first night you were in Sungchan’s room and your body was leaned against his shoulder the only thing Sungchan was paying attention to was the sound of his friend coming out of his room. Both you and Sungchan sat on the edge of his bed facing the door, his fingers deep inside of you. You made him promise to lock the door but you two still managed to end up there, practically on display just waiting for the door to open. The anticipation made it so Sungchan couldn't look away even if he wanted to. He didn’t take his eyes away from the door, he still looked at the handle when he'd turn his head ever so often to plant a distracted kiss on your lips. You were no better, not even paying attention to what was going on beyond the walls of Sungchan's bedroom. You still held your sounds back then, the same way Eunseok always held back his, so worried about your unknowing brother who did not care.

The second time you got too loud. Sungchan was thinking about other things, like what was going on beyond the wall he shared and you were distracting him. You called him by the nickname Eunseok gave him mockingly, telling jinsu to go faster and that you were so close. He had you bent over the dresser that was against their shared wall, and he had to finally clasp a large hand over your mouth. By the end of that night you were sucking on his fingers, and moved to the center of his bed and pushed down to a pathetic position on your stomach. Sungchan had to wrap a hand underneath your waist to keep you up.

Sungchan found out you were weak just like Eunseok too. No endurance, no sports you stayed involved in. There was a pattern between the two of you that was never brought up, where you two started in sports but developed a liking for indoor activities instead. There was a time where Eunseok played sports with Sungchan, then overnight his friend ditched him for anime and video games. You went down the same path, you were just able to cover it up with makeup and making friends. When Eunseok became a recluse you became a social butterfly, a homebody that was ironically out every weekend. Sungchan told himself he could never bring this up because how much you hated being compared to your brother, and Eunseok spent most of his days forgetting he even had a sister.

You were also low maintenance just like your brother. The pretty hair and expensive clothes were just for show. The spoiled princess accusations Eunseok used to say under his breath passing was false. The concept of someone wanting something and vocalizing it was just so foreign to Eunseok he assumed you were rotten. If anything it was Sungchan who was spoiled. You came running with just a text, ditching your friends and any plans just to sneak into his apartment. The only thing you asked was if your brother would be there. That didn’t seem to bother you too much, because Sungchan said maybe and you still were at his door with an overnight bag tucked underneath your arm.

When he opened the door you came right into his arms. Like the day you went without seeing him was a century, you buried your head deep in his chest and breathed him in. You smelled like Eunseok but sweeter, as if he was drowned in rose and vanilla.

“I missed you.” You whispered it when you pressed the side of your face into Sungchan’s chest. Sungchan felt you squeeze him tighter and play with the bottom of his shirt. He hummed and rubbed your back, easing out that tension in your shoulders. 

He didn’t know someone in your family could be so vulnerable. He had known Eunseok for years and there were still walls he didn’t bother to break down anymore. He let his friend be mysterious and he let your parents be passive. You treated Sungchan like a gift because he let you be vulnerable, even if he only responded with i know or it’s okay.

Sungchan almost felt bad for what he was doing. Even in the dark entryway he could see that look in your eye. Always like a lost puppy, seemingly becoming even more innocent in debauched circumstances. Eunseok was going to come home at some point, Sungchan knew that. He knew that you were going to make noise that would bleed through the cracks in his doors and the thin walls. He had to clasp a hand over your mouth anytime he had you like this, or push your face into the mattress until you got the hint. Being vulnerable came with being loud, a bumbling mess with tears welling in your eyes and broken words falling from your lips. You looked like a puppy and you sounded like one too, whimpering and drooling while you wasted all your energy.

But that wasn’t his view just yet. You were kneeling on his bed for him right now, left in your underwear and a camisole as you looked up to him. Sungchan was still fully clothed, looking down at the way your thighs pressed together the more you leaned back to try and settle yourself. He brought his hand up to your face, already knowing you’d eagerly move to put your chin in the palm of his hand.

“You’re too cute.” A pitiful exhale fans his palm. Your eyes manage to get even more watery, almost twinkling as you look up at him. He almost feels bad for what he’s doing. “Do you know how cute you are?” He asks.

You shake your head, and Sungchan is grateful for Eunseok being a terrible brother. Sungchan even feels gratitude in his heart for Eunseok being a terrible friend. If those things hadn’t happened, and Eunseok hadn’t made that post Sungchan would’ve never been here. Caressing your chin, feeling you give all your free will to him. You were malleable, made in Sungchan’s image after a little less than two weeks. His hands crafted you into whatever you were becoming. The power was intoxicating, because even he had no idea what you were molding into. Submissive, eager to please, reaching for something you didn’t know how to handle. 

“Do you think your brother is an asshole?” Sungchan’s hand underneath your chin tilted your head up to him. Your pretty eyebrows knit together in confusion, and Sungchan tried not to laugh at tripping you up. He remained serious, tilting your head even further up. “Do you think he’s a bad person?” He asked.

He gave you the smallest amount of authority when you started messing with his belt. He let his hands fall to his sides and he overcompensated your strength, letting your shaking hands pull his hips towards you. Sungchan sighed at the thought of you being dominant. He knew you didn’t have it in you. Your avoidance of responsibility made Sungchan relinquishing power hard. Even if it was for your benefit, even if it was all a show the second sigh he let out was smug. His hands went to resting at his hips as yours became more hesitant.

You didn’t take well to being in charge. You didn’t take well to questions you didn’t know how to answer. You don’t know your brother, even if you grew up in the same house and had so much in common. Sungchan almost wants to tell you about the Reddit post, to let you know how truly sleazy your older brother is. But if he was honest he’d have to tell you that’s the reason why you two are in this room when there’s only a wall separating you from your brother’s room. Almost immediately your hands started to falter, the thought of disapproval from Sungchan made you fix your gaze on his stomach instead. You pulled his belt tighter instead of pulling it loose. You were more like your brother than either of you would ever know. Sungchan knew your palms were lining with sweat, the same way Eunseok would get whenever he knew he wasn’t doing something perfectly. Your face was hot to the touch, he could feel it when his hand went back to your chin. 

“You’re really too cute.” Sungchan said again.

He notices that you two both have the same habit of denying compliments when you first receive them. Eunseok looks to the side while you slowly shake your head. Sungchan manually nods your head with his fingers holding your chin.

You and Eunseok were meant to be lead by someone like Sungchan. The self-proclaimed brains to his brawn. One couldn’t exist without the other, no matter how miserable the other had become. That’s why Eunseok fucked his ex. That’s why he was about to fuck you. Eunseok would eventually find out about you two, if he didn’t already know he would figure out by the clothes Sungchan would strategically leave laying around in the common area. He could tell you were going to make noise for him tonight. Eunseok was still up around this time, the banging on his wall and the sound of things falling would keep him awake.

Sungchan watches your hands go back to your thighs, resting in a clenched fist. Everything about you was made to please Sungchan. From his favorite color on your underwear to your shirt that was a size to small. You gave him everything, the little bow on your waistband like you were his gift. He should feel terrible for doing this. Breaking the one stipulation his bestfriend gave him. But he waged the war, and this was fair. You didn’t mind, because you started digging your nails into your leg when Sungchan took too long undoing his belt. He kept you waiting, until his pants were at his ankles and you were watching him grab himself over his boxers.

“Turn around for me baby.” He said.

You were better at listening to him than Eunseok. When Eunseok would’ve shaken his head or pretended not to hear him all together you were scurrying to the center of his mattress, turning around and sticking your ass in the air. Sungchan watched you let out out a pensive breath, settling into the arch he showed you the very first night. You were a faster learner than Eunseok too.

Sungchan took off his underwear and touched himself, knowing you wished you were the one doing it. The first night you told Sungchan a million times how much you thought of him, how you waited so long just for the chance to touch him. Sungchan let you remember while he slowly worked his hand up his length, the same way he did when Eunseok caught him all those weeks ago. He put on the condom slowly after he watched your shaky hands pull out the slimy latex. The top of the foil packaging was still between your teeth, only falling out when you let out another labored breath. Your head fell back to the mattress and Sungchan settled behind you, hands gripping your waist tight.

“Be loud tonight, okay?” Sungchan watched you preemptively bite your lip and look towards the shared wall. The occasional thud on the other side could be heard, the dull whirring of Eunseok talking into his microphone came through. Worry crossed your pretty eyes, you wiped your palms on Sungchan's comforter. Sungchan come clower to you, until he felt your frame give slightly underneath his. He focused on your big eyes and he pulled together his most sincere look. “Please? For me?” Sungchan asked.

That’s all it took for you to nod your head. You were easier than Eunseok, that was for certain. He pushed into you with ease because you were made for him, and you groaned loudly solely because he asked. Sungchan made sure you made noise for good reason, until you were rivaling with the creak in his mattress and his headboard bumping into the wall. He hoped that it rocked Eunseok’s computer setup, that his friends could hear it in their voice chat. The thought of it made Sungchan prop a leg up and pull your hips backwards to meet him. The thought made him make sounds of his own, until his throat become dry and his voice become hoarse. He was made for you too it seemed, because you squeezed him tight and your sweaty hand clasped around his perfectly. 

He knew when you were getting close. He knows your brother so by extension he knows you too, and the same time you started forgetting about anyone else in the apartment he finally heard Eunseok’s door open. Sungchan heard the creak in the floorboards and then Eunseok's timid steps outside his door. Eunseok knocked just like he did the first night, and Sungchan wrapped his arms around your chest to bring you up from the bed to pull you against him. He let your sounds come out, the identity of who was crying obvious even to indifferent brothers. Eunseok didn’t knock again, he left the apartment completely and closed the front door so loud pictures on Sungchan’s wall shook. You shook in Sungchan's arms before you melted to his bed.

Sungchan broke the one rule Eunseok set for him. All is fair. Eunseok waged the war and Sungchan would end it. He wouldn't make a Reddit post about it, he would only leave the white sweater Eunseok bought for you on Christmas draped over the couch in their shared common area.

[maeamian]

Actually research skills are hard to learn especially unsupervised so maybe telling people to just "Go figure it out" especially if you already know they've been failed academically in other ways, might actually be a great way to just send them to a PragerU video on the topic.

[is-this-fascism]

Please help me survive and escape homelessness.

GFM

KF

CA

I want to be safe by the winter of 2025.

I'm having a difficult time fundraising for my van. Repeated car troubles and various other unexpected issues have eaten into my savings multiple times, and while in a slump I wasn't making as many posts about my situation and I got significantly less donations over the last ~6 weeks on both my gofundme and my kofi/cashapp. While I've 'regained' a lot of what I lost, I've been spending about as much as is coming in. Aside from one instance, my emergency expenses were eaten by my fundraiser savings, which was then gained back about as quickly as I was spending it on my daily expenses. I still haven't reached the goal for the recent $1000 I had to spend on my car.

So far I've lost $2,200 of the $3,100 that's shown on the GFM. I'll be updating the fundraiser to reflect the loss.

I'm autistic and struggle just to meet my basic needs, and despite that I've been denied disability income multiple times. Failing to hold a job (and developing PTSD symptoms from my time being employed), and let down and abandoned by anyone who could support me, I'm left with few resources and few options. I try to make posts when I'm in a good mood, or keep people updated when I'm in a bad mood. I make videos on YouTube, hoping eventually I can show people what their money has gotten for me.

On a good month, I only spend about $600, leaving me some space to save the donations I was previously getting. With winter and the holidays coming, I'm not sure I'll be getting as much money as the warmer months, and I'll be spending more on keeping myself warm and fed over the winter. It will be more like $800/mo now. The only real solution is getting more money than I'm spending, as I'm already spending as little as I safely can.

I'll only take financial advice from someone who has lowered their expenses below mine, with the same disabilities and circumstances as me. What I need is more money, and I don't always have the energy to pay back with art and things like that. I don't even always have the energy to post my pleas for help. I don't have a sponsor to help me make these posts.

I'm in a low energy mode because what can I do with no money? In a state where I have to spend as little as possible, see such slow results, see most of it taken by things outside my control, and somehow keep up hope that this will work?

When I feel safe and have adequate shelter in a van, I'll be able to REST. And then start working harder and making more money one way or another. Whether you think I should suck it up and get a job or you want to see me become a content creator, I need money for any kind of opportunity and I'm just not getting enough.

So, thank you to everyone who's suppported me so far. Thank you to the repeat supports. I'm sorry I had to spend your money on other things. Thank you to the person who covered most of a huge expense I was stressing about a couple months ago. Thank you to the person who sent me $200 to get a hotel and told me to take care of my mental health before saving anything. Thank you to the blogs that have featured my fundraiser in your posts. Thank you to everyone who keeps boosting and cheering me on even though you can't support financially.

I don't know what else I can do to get more people like that to see me. There are so many options on the internet, but it's still a daunting task and as much as I can't really afford to rest, I have to sometimes. Often, in fact.

Please keep boosting this post until my goal is really met. Until I can spend more than $600 a month and actually earn your money rather than beg for it.

[wolverigrl]

The Red Carpet Confession

Hugh Jackman x reader (actress)

A/N: Here's another try! Please let me know in the comments if you liked it and if you'd like to have a part two? :)

Summary: Hugh and y/n are rumored to be a couple and the two are figuring out their relationship.

The movie that the next parts are about is fictitious. It's a Marvel movie in which y/n plays one of the main roles as a Lady Deadpool variant.

Time period around 2015. Hugh's divorce fictitiously occurred here a year earlier. Hugh is 46, and y/n is in her late 20s.

Warnings: literally none, only some light fluff but nothing more!

---------------------------------------------------

The energy at the movie premiere was electric—the buzz of the crowd, the flashing lights, and the excitement in the air. Hugh’s hand rested comfortably on the small of my back as we made our way down the red carpet. Every now and then, I found myself leaning into his touch, savoring the warmth and comfort that came so naturally between us. I glanced up at him, admiring the familiar crinkles around his eyes when he smiled and those laugh lines I adored so much.

We had come a long way since our first meeting at one of Ryan’s infamous dinner parties, where Blake introduced me to Hugh. Some months later I found out that my ex fiancé cheated on me. That night was a turning point for me. Blake, always the caring friend, had rallied Ryan and Hugh to come over with takeout and wine, determined to cheer me up. The four of us spent the evening in my living room, talking, laughing, and simply being there for each other.

Hugh had been a quiet comfort, sitting beside me as I cried, his arm around my shoulders. At one point, Ryan insisted on taking a selfie—our eyes a little red but smiles plastered on our faces. We posted it with the caption:

>>vancityreynolds: Friends who stick by you, no matter what ❤️<<

It was a moment that solidified our friendship, and from there, Hugh and I only grew closer.

Over time, our bond deepened. We started working out together, pushing each other to new limits. One day after an intense session, we snapped a photo—both of us sweaty, grinning, and flexing our biceps. I couldn’t resist adding a cheeky caption:

>>y/n instagram: Who needs a gym partner when you’ve got The Wolverine pushing you?<<

The post went viral, and the fans went wild. The comments were full of playful speculation, with people shipping us hard.

>>loganskittycat: You two should just get married already😩<<

One fan wrote, while another cheekily commented:

>>carllax03: Are we sure this is just a workout partnership? Because I’m seeing serious couple vibes here🔥<<

I remember laughing about it with Hugh, but the truth was, there was something between us—something neither of us had fully acknowledged.

Things got even more intense after Hugh's separation. I made sure to be there for him, offering whatever support I could. We spent a lot of time together during that period, just talking, laughing, and working out our frustrations at the gym. He was hurting, and I wanted to be the friend he could lean on. But every time we were together, those buried feelings would start to bubble up again, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore them.

There was that one time I posted a photo of us at the beach in Australia, where I had visited Hugh some days after he told me of his seperation. We were walking along the shore, deep in conversation about the breakup, his children, life and relationships, when the paparazzi caught us.

The next day, the headlines were full of speculation, but what really made the fans go crazy was Hugh's comment under a selfie of us at the beach:

>>thehughjackman: The best view in Australia, and I'm not talking about the ocean 🌊<<

The internet literally exploded with fans shipping us even harder than before.

>>catpool3000: Okay, if you two don't date, the universe is seriously broken😩<<

>>marvelboyx: He's flirting right in front of us! This is not a drill guys!<<

I found these fan comments so amusing and laughed it off, but the truth was, Hugh had become someone I couldn’t imagine my life without.

As we continued posing for photos on the red carpet, I couldn't help but remember the time we ran into a group of fans during another walk, this time back in New York.

Hugh and I had been grabbing coffee when a few fans approached us asking for photos. Hugh was, of course, his usual charming self, chatting with them, making them laugh, and posing for selfies.

One of the fans turned to me, a little shy, and said: "You're so awesome, y/n. You and Hugh are just the best! Your energy is amazing."

I smiled, touched by her words. "Thank you, sweetheart, that means a lot. Hugh makes it easy, though. He's got the charm down to an art."

Later, those fans posted the selfies on social media, gushing about how kind and down-to-earth we both were. The most comments were full of love and support, with many noting how natural Hugh and I seemed together, how much they 'shipped' us. It was sweet, even if it was a little overwhelming.

The speculation about us had been growing for months, especially after that interview with Jimmy Fallon, where Ryan and I were guests. We were there to promote the new movie, and naturally, the conversation turned to the camaraderie on set.

Jimmy Fallon, ever the curious host, leaned forward, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So, y/n, what was it like joining such a big, well-established cast for the first time? Did you find it easy to get along with everyone?"

I nodded, smiling at the memory of my first days on set. "Honestly, I was a bit nervous at first. I mean, these guys are legends." I said, gesturing to Ryan.

"But they made me feel so welcome right from the start. It felt like I was joining a big. slightly dysfunctional, but very loving family."

Jimmy grinned. "And was there anyone you got particularly close to? I mean, everyone's shipping you with Hugh Jackman after those workout posts."

I chuckled, trying to keep my cool. "I mean, Hugh and I did spend a lot of time together. We bonded over our love for fitness, and he's just such an easy person to get along with. But really, the whole cast was amazing."

Fallon wasn't done yet. He leaned in closer, his tone playful. "But come on, Y/N, who was your favorite on set? Who was the person you looked forward to working with the most?"

Before I could answer, Ryan leaned over, placing his hand dramatically on his chest. "Oh, come on, Jimmy, we all know I'm her favorite," he said with a mock pout. Then, as if sharing a secret, he turned to him, cupping his hand around his mouth like he was about to whisper.

"But between us, it's the Aussie. It's always the Aussie."

The audience burst into laughter, and I playfully shoved Ryan's shoulder.

"You wish!" I said, unable to keep a straight face.

Ryan shot me a wink. "Hey, you don't have to deny it, y/n. We all know how much you love Hugh's, uhh workout routine."

I rolled my eyes, laughing along with the audience. But deep down, Ryan's joke hit a little too close to home. Because as much as I tried to brush it off, there was a growing part of me that knew he was right.

Now, as we walked the red carpet together, another interviewer caught up with us, asking the question we'd been dodging all night. "Hugh, y/n. The internet is buzzing with rumors about your relationship. Care to set the record straight?"

My heart skipped a beat. I glanced at Hugh, and he met my gaze with that familiar, playful glint in his eye. He leaned in, his voice low and teasing, as he spoke into the mic,

"We've certainly spent a lot of time, and we do get along really well."

Hugh and I exchanged a quick look, a silent understanding passing between us.

"We've had some pretty intense workouts together." I couldn't resist adding.

The double meaning wasn't lost on the interviewer or on Hugh, who shot me an amused look.

The interviewer pressed on. "So, is it safe to say you're more than just friends?"

Hugh grinned, his eyes twinkling with that familiar mischief. "I think we'll leave that up to your imagination."

The reporter laughed, realizing we weren't going to give a straight answer. "Fair enough. But you two certainly know how to keep us all guessing."

We thanked him shortly after, said our quick goodbyes, and moved along the red carpet to the next interview.

Another reporter greeted us, smiling, and started right with the conversation.

"Y/n? Hugh, you two have been quite the talk of the town with your workout posts. Can you tell us a little more about your training and diets while preparing for the movie?"

Hugh grinned and nudged me playfully. "Y/n here is a beast in the gym. She's got more discipline than anyone I know, and she doesn't let me slack off."

I laughed, nodding in agreement.

"Hugh's being modest. He's the one who keeps me on my toes. It's hard not to be motivated when you've got The Wolverine next to you, pushing you to do just one more set.

The interviewer chuckled before shifting the conversation to a more private topic.

"And y/n, with your costume being so form-fitting, what kind of uhh.. support did you have underneath?”

The question caught me off guard, and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. Before I could respond, though, Hugh stepped in, his expression turning serious.

"I think that’s enough for this interview. Thank you for your time." he said, his tone polite but firm, effectively ending the conversation.

The reporter looked taken aback but quickly recovered, thanking us for our time before moving on. As we walked away, I felt a surge of gratitude for Hugh’s quick intervention. Without thinking, I placed my hand on his chest, leaning in close to whisper in his ear.

"Thank you."

He smiled down at me, his eyes softening as he replied.

"Anytime, darling. Anytime."

As the last flashes of the cameras faded and the final questions from reporters dwindled, Hugh and I finally stepped off the red carpet. The air was buzzing with the excitement of the night, but it was the thought of the after-show party that truly had me giddy. Hugh could sense my anticipation and chuckled, his arm still comfortably wrapped around my waist as we made our way to the venue.

Inside, the party was already in full swing. The room was filled with a dazzling array of celebrities, all mingling and celebrating the movie. My eyes widened as I spotted a few of my own favorite celebrities across the room, and I couldn’t help but feel a surge of excitement. Hugh noticed my reaction and gave me a teasing smile.

"Someone’s excited." he said. His voice was warm with amusement.

I laughed, unable to contain my enthusiasm.

"Can you blame me? This is like a dream come true! There are so many people here I’ve admired for years."

Hugh shook his head, his eyes crinkling with that familiar, affectionate smile. "It’s adorable seeing you like this, y/n. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself."

We made our way further into the party, the music and chatter surrounding us. It didn’t take long before we spotted Ryan and Blake, who waved us over from a corner where they were chatting with a few other familiar faces.

As we joined them, Blake greeted us with a warm hug.

"You two were fantastic out there." she said, beaming. "How many relationship questions did you get?"

Ryan grinned, leaning in with a playful glint in his eyes. "Yeah, did they finally get you to confess?"

I exchanged a quick glance with Hugh before we both laughed. "Oh, you know, we kept them guessing." I said, shrugging lightly. "It’s more fun that way."

Hugh nodded, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "We might have let a few things slip here and there, just to keep them on their toes."

Blake raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "You two really enjoy this, don’t you?"

"Maybe a little." I admitted with a grin, feeling a little mischievous. "But in the end, it’s our story to tell—or not."

Ryan lifted his glass, grinning from ear to ear. "Well, here’s to keeping the world guessing, then. And to the best workout partners in the business."

We all clinked our glasses together, the sound of crystal ringing out as we toasted to the night and everything that had led us to this moment. The conversation flowed easily, with laughter and banter filling the space between us. As I stood there, surrounded by friends who had become like family, I felt a deep sense of contentment.

As the night wore on, we mingled with other guests, and I let my inner fangirl come out to play, much to Hugh’s amusement. He watched with a fond smile as I excitedly chatted with some of my favorite stars, his laughter echoing in my ears when I returned to his side, gushing about the conversations I’d just had.

Blake nudged him playfully, a knowing look in her eyes. "You’ve got your hands full with this one, Hugh."

Hugh just laughed, looking over to me, while I was talking to Ryan. "I wouldn’t have it any other way."

---------------------------------------------------

Next part

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[omgfangirlland]

The Shadows That Nurture 10

Added dividers because I felt like the time skip/scene change would become confusing without any indication of it.

I really need an answer on how y'all feel about Immortal x Dupli-kate cuz depending on the popular opinion stuff will change 🤐 I'm willing to split a lot of people up for the drama and/or miscommunication nonsense

Enjoy!

Masterlist || First || previous<< Chapter 10 >>next

Some place where the supernatural meets the normal, a little place called The Oblivion Bar, John Constantine simply sat shocked at the words he managed to hear and process through his mushed brain. Bobo closes his hung jaw, drinks his whiskey, and pats his friend’s shoulder as the man mumbles a sobering spell, cringing at the effects. “I should go. Good luck, John.��� And so, the chimpanzee quickly makes his exit, leaving the Laughing Magician and Death of the Endless to their business.

“I need you to walk me through this again, luv- wasn’t quite paying attention.” Constantine shook his head as he fully turned to face the smiling entity. “You and who did what?!” He hissed, voice barely above a whisper as he tried not to bring attention to what they were saying. This was bad. Really bad.

“Lady Gotham and I took a liking to Batman’s youngest daughter and-“ John quickly interrupted her. “And gave her magical powers beyond my comprehension and immortality- yes, I heard that, did you?!” The man rubbed his face, the thought was making him want to get drunk until he dropped. ”Have you gone mad? Giving a mortal immortality is more of Dream’s style you should know better-“

Death only smiled at him, amusement filling her eyes as she gently laid a hand on his shoulder making him tense up. “She was lonely, she deserves every happiness those powers and eternity are bound to give her. You’ll understand once you see her.” And boy, did John laugh his gut out at that as he shook his finger. “No- no, no, no- there’s no way I insert myself into that mess- Bat’s family is already a mess and reeks of you without magic- No- There’s no way- that’s bonkers-“

Death gets up with a bright smile. “Thank you, John.” Her words make him stutter almost choking on his breath at the audacity. “Don’t thank me ya loon! I’m not going to help her, I’m not even going to see the moppet!” He can only yell and cuss as she leaves.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

 “Alright, Cecil-“ The old man immediately interrupted you, the little communication device in your ear buzzing with life as he told you to not use names. “… Dude… I’m miles in the air, first of all! Second, that was like a really common name once. it’ll take a while to find you specifically, and I doubt anyone could anyway- you seem like the type that would erase himself from the gov’s documents.”

“Anyway-“ You didn’t give him time to say anything else. “What house am I supposed to go to again? And why?”

The old man sighs at your antics, rubbing the side of his forehead as he feels the headache coming while he gives the address once more. “Your brother’s teacher, Mr. Hiles, has been the mall bomber. It took us a while, he was smart about it, kept his search into biological bomb-making off the internet but he wasn’t that thorough about his paper trail.”

“Be prepared for anything and a confrontation.” The older man cleared his throat. You always made him nervous; you were an unexpected equation in everything, something he couldn’t control without risking Earth. Donald and everyone else just took his weariness and suspicion as him being overly cautious, but Cecil could tell something was clinging to you that just gave him nightmares.

“And thank you- usually I would have sent someone from the Teen Team but…uh-“ His eyes followed the action on another screen. “They’re busy. Your brother and father are helping them.”

“You’re nervous. Yapping again. Chill, I’ll take care of it. Just because I don’t want to be your little puppet doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep people safe.” You found the man irritating, but for now, he was being sane, actually doing his job, so you couldn’t complain. “Getting closer to the target. Going dark.”  Was the only warning the man got before the com was powered off.

Finally ready to land you politely greeted the man, walking through the training both Cecil and Nolan provided at the start of your vigilantism. “I didn’t expect to get caught quite this early, and I certainly expected… more conventional authorities when the time did come.” Professor Hiles just sighs and welcomes you in by your birth name. “How did you-“

“Are you kidding me? Mark is unable to shut up about you. And you forget to wear your hood more times than you do wear it.” The man said as he took off his sweater. “Follow me, I’ll show you to the fourth missing student. I assure you, I have no intention of resisting.” Well… This was easier than expected.

As he started to confess about how he started doing this, he led you to his basement. “Mr. Hiles, while I understand the loss of a child to suicide, a divorce, and the loss of a job ruined you until you hit rock bottom, avenging your son like this-“

“I’m not avenging the death of my son. That would be far too cliché.” Your eyes landed on the teen strapped to the table once he turned on the light, breath hitching as you saw the skin of his arms merging sloppily with the metallic torso the professor modified. “It’s the destruction of my life that has me seeking revenge.”

“The domino effect of pain and sorrow that these monsters create. Children who spend too much time at the mall, attend parties, consume alcohol, and play sports when they should be studying and doing homework.”

“I understand your ire, I’m not one for parties or drunks, but not all kids who do that stuff go to extremes, that’s a flawed logic- it does not give you the right to play god and do-“ You tried to placate him, keeping your tone soft and even, to try and make him see reason. “What I did to all of them, turning them into living bombs, an instrument with which to exact my revenge… my crusade to end the pain and sorrow by these- ‘popular’ kids… I feel no guilt for.”

“I can’t think of a more appropriate end to my crusade-” Mr. Hiles ripped open the shirt he was wearing, revealing the same mechanism the unconscious teen had. “-than the death of a superhero!” You quickly acted, not letting him talk more beyond that as the timer set to 50 seconds started trickling down while you grabbed him, breaking through his ceilings and roof and flying high in the air.

“Is this really how you want to die? Suicide bomb? You still can make this right- you don’t have to die like this just tell me how to deactivate it!“ Your eyes remained on the clock. Twenty, nineteen, eighteen. The man just chuckled a dry, humorless laugh. “Do it. There is nothing for me anymore.” Five, four, three.

You couldn’t tell if what you felt was sorrow or shame, but you knew you were defeated. The man was going to get one final death, but it won’t be yours. As your flight came to a stop well above the clouds, you threw the man higher in front of you as the clock struck one second, and as it hit zero, the bomb detonated, the range and heat of the explosion destroying any remains while pushing you back a bit.

Your eyes remained on the cloud of smoke it created. If the cops found him before you did, the bomb would have wiped out the neighbors, too. That’s what hero life was, what it is. Sacrifices left and right that only made you feel more at odds with this job than before.

As you went back to the house, you activated the com, putting it back into your ear. Cecil immediately informs you that the police are en route as well as his clean-up team. “Get an explosive ordnance disposal technician, too. There is a teen in the basement, the bomb doesn’t seem active yet, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. I’ll send a report of what happened soon.” You stayed until Cecil’s people showed up, just to be sure the boy was still breathing and that the bomb wouldn’t activate.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Helping Brit and the other heroes clean up the rubble from the alien attack helped keep your mind off things. The Brit enjoyed talking about his kid and wife, yapping until he needed to take a breath and then starting again keeping a smile on your face.

You enjoyed helping clean up, especially when there were no casualties, today wasn't that type of day. But it had become the easy, relaxing part of the job, pick big rubble up, place it into the waste trucks, pick another piece up, make sure to not hit the man in the trench coat, put it in the waste- wait…

Your head snaps back to the man, squinting as your eyes meet. You each take a second to take each other in before your eyes widen in surprise. “Hello, luv. I’m-“ You couldn’t help your excitement as recognition finally settled into your brain. “I know you-“ Your words made John cringe and tense up. When others said that it never ended well for him. “You’re Johnny Con-Job, the lead singer for Mucous Membrane, dude, your band got me into the punk culture.”

That… wasn’t what he expected. He wasn’t sure if he should be proud of that or fight back the mental breakdown that was creeping up his spine. “You’re a bit young for that slop, no?” You just shrug. “Your songs got me to finally put myself first, to get the courage to sneak out, see other stuff beyond the walls of my first house, help others, and leave my neglectful family before they could seriously hurt me.” Her words worried him. John never took Bruce as the “lock his kids up” type, but the man was as paranoid as they came, he wouldn’t put that above him.

“It may be slop and shitty vocals, but it’s what I needed to hear.” You teased him while putting the rubble in the waste collector. He watched as you approached him with a soft smile and sparkling eyes. He could see what Death meant. “I need to talk to you. I’m not quite sure about what luv, but I think it’s about Batman-“ He didn’t get to finish, as soon as the name left his mouth, he was grabbed by the throat and lifted well above the clouds, way too close to the ozone layer. “Did he send you?” you hissed, giving his neck a warning squeeze.

Yup. He definitely saw what Death meant as your eyes glowed a Lazarus green. “Nno-“ He choked out. “Did Bruce Wayne send you?” her question was met with the same answer. Your grip softened, grabbing him by his coat instead of his neck as you brought him closer. “Then why are you here?”

“We need to talk in private…” He whispered as he realized the situation.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

This was a whole mess that John Constantine knew he should have stayed out of- he knew! From Bruce to the whole family basically ignoring the kid, not even telling her about the vigilantism, to the rogues taking her in and doing a better job of raising her to her running away and getting adopted by another hero- a hero that John knew wanted to conquer the world, the whole fucking race wanted to, the fucking demons had a problem with that and wouldn’t stop complaining to him like he can fix it- he takes a deep breath in. “Why are you telling me all of this?” He whined, rubbing his face as he sat on the edge of some skyscraper with you.

“I’m not hiding my past, I’ll happily snitch and tell a reporter that Bruce Wayne is a shit father, they all just assume I’m Nolan’s actual kid that was in the hospital for a deadly something or whatever.” You shrug. “Please don’t- not because I care about the bellend- I just don’t want to deal with… Huh. Now that I’m thinking about it, that may be great blackmail.” His words only made you snicker.

He didn’t know where to begin. Did she know about the Viltrumite? Was she in cahoots with him? Should he tell her any of that? Would she even believe his ass? Maybe he should get the JL involved...

The scruffy man shook his head. “Not why I’m here. You said your hero name is Sorceress? Great, so you know you have magic powers, that makes it easy-“ John took in your shocked expression. Of course, it wasn’t that easy, it never could be. “If this was another world, I’d call you crazy.” You told him simply. “But Midnight City is cursed, and I guess that makes sense… Is that why I can hear the shadows speak?”

John nodded before doing a double take, asking you to elaborate on the shadows speaking part.  “They just speak, whisper, giggle the whole thing. They can also emit what they feel. They’ve always been present, they’re not as strong here, but I think that’s because they’re more tied to Gotham and Midnight City… or just- where there is more darkness.”

“Well, you’re not far off there, love.” The man nodded in agreement as his eyes drifted to the dark dome around the cursed city. He knew where to start. “This is going to be a long explanation, you better strap in, hen, and let me finish before you ask questions.”

“You remember the painting and murals you made of gods and other entities, demons, angels, the whole sort, in Gotham and here? Yeah, they brought the attention to you from the entities you drew. Some of the moppets took them as a higher form of offering than others, a few of them decided to stick around you.”

“Those have also decided to- ‘bless’ you with a few gifts, I’m not sure of all of them, but I know specifically that Lady Gotham offered the shadows as a companion and protector, and I know that Death of the Endless has blessed you with… well, immortality.” There was no way of walking around that fact. “I don’t remember if any of these two also gave you your powers, I was quite sloshed, but someone did.” John looked at the kit, taking in her shocked expression before he nudged you a bit. “Come on, kid, say something. You got me all worried here.”

“It’s all just- a bit much.” You mumble. “Yeah, I get it. A lot for you to shoulder, but I’m sure you’ll power through- oh, thanks love… Wha- How-“ John’s eyes moved from the beer in his hands to the energy can you were looking at. You just shrug. "I wanted to know if I could, thought…” You narrow your eyes at the can in your hands. “I’m not sure if this is made out of thin air or just- teleported or something.”

Constantine just slowly looks back at his beer mug… She was taking this better than most. He hoped it was because the shock hadn’t worn off yet. Well, he’s had worse things in his mouth, he's sure, so with a shrug, he takes a sip, humming with delight at the taste, muttering something about this being real beer. “You’re here to help me, right? Like- with my powers… I- I think I need help with this whole worshipping gods and demons- entities- thing, too.”

He knew the easy way out would be to say no, to just leave, she had done just fine without him… But that isn’t what came out of his mouth. “Sure, poppet. Just keep on giving me this fine beer.” Given his track record with people and magic, he shouldn’t feel this accomplished at your happiness, but he was always quite selfish, so he returned your hug, even if he was a bit stiff.

“Now- usually the normal thing is to go from small stuff to big, teach the basics, but I’m not one for rules. Have you ever wanted to teleport via portals?” The big mischievous smile you gave him was all the answer he needed.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You came home at the same time as Nolan and Mark, everyone’s first stop after greeting Debbie was their bedrooms to refresh themselves before going back to the dining area. “I’m going to be honest, Nolan, the longer hair and full beard fit you better than the silly mustache. Right, mom?” You couldn’t help the teasing as the whole family ate. Debbie looked at Nolan with a scrutinizing eye, before sighing and giving an amused smile. “I’ll definitely miss the beard.”

Mark snorted at the teasing as Nolan pouted, brows furrowing. “It’s not silly- it’s a rite of passage into manhood by the Viltrumite culture-“ you couldn’t help but interrupt. “It’s still a silly-looking mustache. What does the Viltrumite rite of passage for women look like?”

Nolan’s momentary displeasure at the mustache comment was overlooked as the inquiry about the Viltrumite women was brought forth. “Huh… I’m not sure, I never really paid attention to that. I think some cut their hair.” A puff of air escaped you in amusement before deciding to tease him some more. “Well, you clearly weren’t planning for a daughter that’s sure.”

Debbie just took in the chatter. She enjoyed the easy atmosphere, the laughter of her kids. “So, how was everyone’s day?” She asks once the chatter stops. “Oh, I met the Teen Team and helped them with the Flaxan attack, dad got kidnapped by them while I was trying to gather up survivors, made friends with Atom Eve, and met an alien called Allen who apparently got the wrong planet.” Mark shrugged.

“I spent the last eight months enslaved by an army from an alternative dimension, although it seems much less time has passed here. About a week ago, I led a revolt against my captors and regained control of my powers. Today, a team of scientists from the rebellion found a way to get me home.” Nolan lied as easily as he breathed.

“One of Mark’s teachers was turning his classmates into organic bombs in order to take revenge on kids he felt were like the ones who led his son to commit suicide. He turned himself into a bomb also and tried to take me out with him but clearly, it didn’t work in his favor. Helped clean up after the Flaxan mess, and met the lead singer of Mucous Membrane who apparently is a mage. He was here on behalf of Death herself to help me and tell me that my powers aren’t because I’m a meta, they’re magic. Oh, and also, I’m allegedly immortal.” You took a sip of water. “Lex also wants to know if anyone would be interested in attending one of his rich folk parties.”

At the quietness of the room, you lifted your eyes from your plate to look at everyone’s shocked glance. “What?” you ask with a mouth full of food.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

That night, the teens wanted to sleep with their parents, both needing reassurance. Debbie and Mark were already gone, sleeping deep and peacefully. “Dad… You awake?” your question was whispered as your head lay on Deborah's shoulder. He answered with a warm hand squeezing your shoulder and a quiet hum. “...How do you move past people you can’t save or the people we have to sacrifice?”

Nolan wasn’t sure how to answer that, he’d never felt anything for the people he couldn’t save. He knew that if he had to save earth’s people or his kids and wife… Well… Earth can be populated again. “You look at the people who you did save. We can’t always save everyone, that’s the sad reality. It’s… painful. But it’s a truth all heroes have to come to terms with. Even I can’t save everyone.” Nolan wrapped his arms around his girls and son tighter, pulling everyone closer. “If all you could save was a person, you still did everything you could. If you couldn’t save anyone, you just have to keep your head high and try again.”

You snuggled closer into your mom, feeling her arm instinctively wrap around you as you draped yours over her and Nolan’s stomach, your fingers laying on Mark’s wrist. The sad reality of being a hero...

Tag list: @bat1212 @trashlanternfish360 @shycreatorreview @syrooo @a-lurking-fae @alittletiredcry @kittzu @plsfckmedxddy @blackhood1229 @nxdxsworld @leeiasure @dandelion-delusion @lovebug-apple @sillysealsies @tsxukikami @enchantingarcadecreation @alishii @d3nnji @itsberrydreemurstuff @yuyuzi-ling @welpthisisboring @1abi @mxvoid26 @persephone-kore-law @bluevenus19 @ryuushou

I'M REALLY SORRY IF I FORGOT SOMEBODY- MY DOC SOMETIMES FORGETS TO SAVE AND I HAD TO READD PPL

[cellophanejpeg]

hold me down (and make me scream) | s. hanta

s: Sero wants to explore his quirk in bed. Or: the one he convices you to let him tied you up and use you however he wants.

w: bondage, kinky shit, use of vibrators, overstimulation, smut, sero is the king of aftercare, this is my kinkiest yet lol

n: hehe, tape quirk comes in handy. betaread by @jemifis ❤️ read on ao3

previous | next | start here

There's a package waiting for you on your door when you get home. Usually, you'd be suspicious of something like that. Being a well-known pro-hero has its disadvantages, such as people who don't like you and that would do anything so you disappear. However, it intrigues you.

The box has your name and your address on it, and it's from Amazon. You try to remember if you ordered something and forgot about it, but nothing comes to mind. You quickly pick it up, enter your apartment and go to the kitchen to get some scissors to open it up.

There's another box inside, covered in silver wrapping, the standard Amazon one. So someone bought you a gift from the site. Not a big deal. Impatient, you tear the paper and quickly open the box.

The contents of the box make your eyes widen in shock, a gasp leaving your lips as you cover your mouth in disbelief. Inside, there are several different vibrators of assorted colors and types. Your first thought is that some internet troll had pulled a prank on you, but then again, how did they get your personal address? Fanmail and letters are always sent to the hero agency you work at – not that you get many, anyway.

A card in the box catches your eye and, curious, you flip it over to read it:

Remember your promise, angel. – S.

Immediately, you grab your phone and look for Sero’s contact.

“Hey, angel–” he picks up after three rings.

“Hanta, what the fuck?!” you interrupt him, and he just laughs. You can practically picture his stupid grin as the sound comes through the receiver.

“So you got my little gift.”

“Little is an understatement.”

He scoffs, “Just thought we could have some fun tonight. You, me, some toys, and…”

“And?”

“Some tape.”

You pause, and Sero can practically hear the gears turning inside your head.

Truth is, he never actually thought about tape bondage until he was guts deep inside you, making you promise you'd let him do it. And he wasn't going to insist on the subject, but the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to try it. This agreement between you and him has only been about you – with the exception of that one time you went down on him –, so is it wrong for him to have a little fun?

“You mean…?” You trail off, unable to even voice it.

“Yeah.” You can hear him breathe out through the receiver. He really wants this, doesn't he?

You've never given it any thought, but the image of you tied up as he does whatever he wants with you… It kinda turns you on. Knowing he'd never hurt you, you don't see why not.

Sensing your hesitation, Sero speaks before you can answer,

“Why don't you test some toys first? Then let me know.”

“A-alright,” you reply, after another moment of silence.

“You should try the rose one. Mina said it was the best one.”

“You told Mina Ashido about this?!”

“Relax!” He laughs. “I just asked about some toys, didn't mention you at all.”

“Gosh, you're so embarrassing.” You roll your eyes, but also laugh with him.

…

“Is it too tight?” Sero murmurs in your ear as he wipes a drop of sweat from your forehead.

You’re laying down on the bed, legs spread wide, and ankles tied to your thighs, while your hands are secured together on the bedpost above you. You feel so vulnerable, so helpless, and it turns you on how he’s the only one who sees you like this.

“Hanta…” you whine, sweat dripping down your temples.

Turns out Sero was right – not that you’ll ever admit it to him –, the toys were amazing. It didn’t take long for you to agree to his proposal, but you did make him work for it. You were already convinced when he tried to talk you into it, showing positions you’d might like and ways to make you come while tied up. When you said yes, he let you choose the position you liked the most and that’s where you are right now.

The tape digs a little on your skin, but it doesn’t hurt as much as being denied yet another orgasm. You think your best friend is a little sadist, with the way he presses the vibrator with just enough pressure to drive you crazy. He also knows you a little too well, now that you think about it. You don’t even have to tell him you’re about to come, he just knows. He just won't let you.

“Yes, Angel?” he grins maliciously, swiping his thumb on your sensitive clit. You whimper, closing your eyes and throwing your head back on the pillow.

“Please…”

“Please what, baby?” Sero pushes two fingers inside you. You're so wet that they slide in easily, making embarrassing sounds.

“Please,” you whine again, breathing heavily.

“Use your words.” He teases, pressing the vibrator against you again. You groan, toes curling tightly, hands closed in fists so tight you almost draw blood from the palms of your hands.

It just feels so good when he's curling his fingers inside you, hitting that spot you'd never thought it was reachable with just his fingers. And when the vibrator puts pressure on your clit, it's heaven.

If only he'd let you have your orgasm.

“Please let me come,” you finally plead, once he denies you again, “please, please, please let me come, Hanta, I'd do anything!”

Sero laughs, pulling his fingers out of you and setting the vibrator’s intensity up, 

“What's our safe word again?” He asks, taking his time to walk around the bed until he lies beside you, leaning his head on his hand, supported by his elbow.

“T-tape dispenser.”

“Good girl.”

Sero then presses the toy once more against your clit, applying more pressure this time. A moan escapes your lips as your legs tremble; you feel another orgasm building in your lower stomach, but this time, Sero doesn't immediately remove the vibrator from you. He lets you come, watching as you roll your eyes back, and let you an almost guttural whine.

You don't come off your high, because he pressed the toy even further against you, having you twitch and tremble as yet another orgasm rushes through you, with no warning.

“H-Hanta–” you try to speak, but the way the vibrations send sparkles throughout your entire body has you losing your breath.

“You wanted to cum, didn't you?” he says, leaning towards you to lick a stray tear that slips down your temple. Then, he whispers in your ear, “use the safe word, if it's too much.”

You think you black out for a second between your third and forth orgasm, the safe word on the tip of your tongue, but you endure it. You want to believe you can take it, but the tears streaming down your face tell otherwise.

“Can you take one more, angel?” Sero coos in your ear, using his free hand to pet your head. You nod as you feel another wave of pleasure building inside you.

It takes everything in you to hold it in, but you eventually let go and then everything goes black for a moment.

“You okay?” he asks, turning the vibrator off and using the nail of his index finger to rip the tape bonding your hands.

You murmur something even you don’t understand while Sero grabs a bottle of massage oil to remove the tapes off you. Maybe you black out, because next thing you know, you’re being carried in his arms and gently being lowered down to a bathtub filled with warm water. You hum, leaning your back on his chest when he slips in the tub behind you.

For a moment, you both soak in silence. Sero hugs your torso, rubbing his thumbs on the skin of your waist, and leans his chin on your shoulder, nuzzling his nose on your hair. Slowly, you come down from your high and recover your senses.

“I don’t think I’ll ever come again,” you break the silence, making him laugh.

“Only one way to find out.” He slips his hand down, with the intention of touching your clit again, but you slap him away.

“Not right now!” You cry out, as he laughs louder.

“How did you like it?”

“It was fun. Maybe a bit too much,” you admit, “but I liked it.”

“Next time, don’t be afraid to use the safe word.”

You pull away to look at him, “you seem oddly experienced at this.”

Sero gives you one of his shit eating grins, but you can see a faint shade of pink on his cheekbones. “I did my homework.”

You hum, leaning onto him again and sighing. The silence takes over again and with it comes the overthinking.

“We’re still friends, right?” You say, before you can stop yourself.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” His voice sounds sleepy now.

You shrug. “‘Cause we’re doing all this crazy shit.”

“We can have sex and still be friends, right?”

Can you? Can you keep doing this knowing he doesn’t feel the same as you? Is it really just sex when every time you’re with him, you feel like heaven?

“Yeah, sure,” you reply, swallowing down all these questions.

Because you don’t think you’ll like the answers.

@lousypotatoes @ibby-miyoshi-nerd

[bluejeanstrash]

tags: boyfriend! seungcheol x reader, just a little light-hearted fluff of seungcheol being a dramatic whiny baby when he’s sick, mentions of dry scalp and skin picking lol, seungcheol is very whiny | wc: 742

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

a classic cough and cold combo paired with a side of fever-related aches and pains — that was the diagnosis, not the life-threatening illness seungcheol was sure he’d contracted. he’d tried convincing you it was fast-spreading. like really fast. like it has taken over his body and has been shutting down his organs one by one for the past 6 hours fast.

‘i’m going to die. it’s not a joke anymore. i seriously feel like i’m going to die’ he tugs at the hem of your t-shirt as you clear up the mountain of tissues on the left bedside table, and then tugs again while you’re clearing up a pile of dishes on the right.

you sigh, ignoring him, and disappear into the kitchen to reappear with a fresh bowl of hot chicken soup ‘seungcheol, we’ve been over this already. you’re not going to die’

‘forget it! just get me my will. i have to make some last-minute changes’ he asks for it dramatically, draping a limp arm over his eyes.

‘you don’t have a will’ you blow on the hot soup in quick bursts before feeding him a spoonful.

‘ugh, never mind. it’s fine’ the will talk is waved off with a quick fan of the hand to make way for what he says next ‘they give everything to the spouse anyway. wait, do they?’

‘i don’t know, and we’re not married’ you remind him, stirring the hot liquid so the shredded chicken, his favourite part, rises to the top.

‘god, you’re right’ he sits up a little straighter and grabs your free hand, suddenly somber ‘do you take choi seungcheol to be your lawf-’

you force-feed him another spoonful to shut him up, a bit of it spilling onto the quilted blanket. the soup must’ve still been too hot because he lets out a little cry, whining, though it’s entirely possible he’s overreacting.

‘you’re not taking this seriously, i’m actually dying’

‘you’re not’

‘what do you know! you’re not a doctor!’ he grumbles, taking a moment to tell you he really likes the soup and really really appreciates you making it for him before continuing to rant.

‘yeah, and what about the actual doctor we called who said you’re not?’

‘he doesn’t know anything either, that hack. the people on the internet’ he picks up his phone from the bed, showing you a screenshot from some site you’re pretty sure is for hypochondriacs to confirm each other’s delusions, and taps on the screen ‘have told me i have less than 24 hours left. 24. 24!’

‘seungcheol, i can’t have this conversation with you anymore. seriously. you need to go to sleep’ you put the empty bowl aside, straightening, and then pulling the blanket up to cover him.

‘no, no, don’t leave. i want lap time’ he pouts, baby-talking his way into his third one of the day. you sit back down on the bed with a sigh as he repositions himself to lay on your lap, wriggling his head around until he’s comfy. your fingers slowly comb through his hair, your nails scratching lightly against his scalp to soothe him. in a slightly gross but domestic act, you pick a few bits of flaky skin out of his unwashed hair, flicking them away. you should wash it for him later, you think. he’d like that.

seungcheol always found the sensation of you picking at his scalp strangely comforting, and surprisingly quite sleep-inducing. minutes pass without a single sound.

it’s quiet. finally. or so you think.

‘if i die, you can’t date anyone for the next 10 years. at least’

‘what?!’ you jerk your thighs up, pushing him off your lap ‘10 years? you’re crazy’

he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

‘i was just being nice. you shouldn’t date anyone ever, but ohmygod, i can’t believe you want to be with someone else’ he presses his fingers to his temples, suddenly coming down with a headache.

‘so let me get this straight’ he continues ‘you’re telling me when i die tomorrow-’

‘you won’t’

‘-when i die tomorrow, you’re going to bring some other man to my funeral?!’ his cheeks now hot with a shade of distressed pink.

you’re not sure where he’s got that from but you’ve had enough. you get up, grabbing the bowl, and look him straight in the eye, pinching his cute little cheeks ‘well, it’s a good thing you’re not dying then’

you walk out, leaving him right there on the bed, hot and most definitely cold.

[projectjasper]

JOONG ARCHEN AYDIN: On his first steps in the entertainment industry, how to lie to idol factories that are trying to control your weight, and his impressive resilience in the face of tragedy

Joong: Actually, I moved to Thailand when I was 16. The reason I moved was I wanted to finish school quickly so I could get a job quickly. I really wanted to grow up. I wanted to live my own life because back then I thought being an adult was great. Right? So I started working as an actor. I was actually walking around Siam and then I went to a casting and got the role.

That's really how it happened! In the early days, I participated in a fashion show and accidentally got the first place.

Aou, Santa, Pond: Oooohhhhh!!!

Joong: And then I became more confident and someone just happened to see me. I was walking around Siam, I was in the middle of Siam Square, and a person just pulled me away. They were like: "Are you interested?" I was wearing really nice clothes that day. It was an Abercrombie t-shirt and Gucci jeans.

Yeah, I borrowed them from a friend.

Anyway, I remember going to the casting. Everyone had their hair and makeup done, some already had fans. We all sat down. The line was very long, there were multiple rows. This one guy just stood up, went up to his fans, and started waving. He was saying "thank you", "thank you for your encouragement" and things like that. We were all waiting to go up to the slaughter room.

No, really, they call it "the slaughter room". There was like twelve of us. They weren't saying much, they were just kind of looking at us, and then they told ten people to leave. The only two left were me and another person. They told us: "Ok, you passed". I was asked to do this one bit and then sent home. I came back for the final round, which was like an acting round, and then I finally got to play. I got to be in a series, I became an actor. It was my first drama, I might not have played very well, but I got some fans! My followers on Instagram went from 5.000 to 500.000. So I started as an actor first but then an opportunity came up. I never thought about it before, but I did like idols, I was a fan of many groups. It was BigBang first, then BTS... When I was in Türkiye, even before coming to Thailand, I already liked them. I used to record dance videos with my siblings at home and upload them to the internet.

"Fake Love" [starts singing a little]. Yes, at the time I was obsessed with it, I really loved it. Then I got an opportunity with a Chinese company. They suggested I go to China and join a TV show contest. At the time, I was weighing my options - I was doing pretty well in Thailand, should I stay here? Eventually I decided it would be better for me to move to China. I wanted to try something new and it was an opportunity to do just that. Since I was an actor, I already had events where I sang and things like that, but I never...

Pond: Danced?

Joong: Yeah, I never danced there. Well, maybe just a little. I took only a couple of dancing lessons. Everyone else is like "oh, I've been dancing since I was a kid", but I started when I joined the contest in China. I was training for about two months and it was very stressful, because I had to study both the language and how to dance. And in comparison to the friends I was training with, I was quite inexperienced because some of them had sung and danced before, they had a solid background.

Personally, I was becoming more and more handsome at the time.

Aou: Ooooohhhhh!

Joong: Before that I was still a kid.

So, two or three months passed, we actually went to China to train there. We were meant to go on for two or three more months, then filming would start and the program would air. It was quite fun, because I got a chance to go with friends from Thailand and there were also trainees from other countries - China, Korea, Japan, it was very international. I got to know a lot of people. We were training together and it was a very warm environment. Because we were practising together, living together, waking up together, eating together.

Food was bad, it was food for trainees. Broccoli and fish, stuff like that.

Interviewer: So it wasn't tasty food, it was healthy food.

Joong: Yes, everyone on the show was on a weight control diet. We had to weigh ourselves and then report back every single day. We also had to send video clips, so they could check what we're eating. They were actually looking at our food. They were asking us about our bodies, how we "build discipline".

But hey, let me tell you. There is a trick to weighing yourself. For example, like I weigh what? 77kg or something. If I touch my finger to the wall, it becomes 75kg!

Santa & Pond: Really?????

Joong: And if you press real hard, it will be 70kg.

The food they gave us was Jian Fei food, diet food, but if you think about it, it takes a lot of energy to practice as much as we did. So I ate a lot. I ate a little in secret.

Santa: Just a little?

Joong: Yes! At the time, I was thin. But yeah, everything else was going well - the environment, the friends I made, and all that. The teachers gave me a lot of encouragement because... I was good at dancing, but when I went there, people were on another level. The guys from Japan were dancing so fiercely, the guys from China were like... wow! Some of them had been dancing since they were twelve, others had just started. I realised we are not the same at all. Like let's say there is a close up, right? I wouldn't have been able to dance as fast as my friends.

I felt really bad. Because I was giving my best, but it wasn't good enough. I couldn't remember every move. And there were people who were really good there! Let's say there was a hundred people - one outstanding person received an award from the teacher. Out of a hundred people, one would get a star. Literally. The teacher would take a star and stick it on that person. Me? I never got it! It was both discouraging and tiring. I woke up early to go training at 7 a.m., came back at 11 p.m. every day. Kind of similar to Santa.

Santa: Yeah.

Joong: But still, things were going well. And then, like three days before filming:

COVID.

Aou: Oh no...

Joong: So suddenly it's all over? Honestly, when we first heard the news going around, no one believed it. Everyone was like: "What? No way! The training has been going on for months and hundreds of people are participating, from so many different countries. How could it all just collapse?" But I went back to the dorm and got on a video call with the company. They said: "Listen, kids. The plane tickets will be arranged and then you can go back in about a month. You'll have to quarantine for around 15 days". So I was just stuck in a room for 15 days. It wasn't like I went back to Thailand and was just sitting around feeling sad. I came back to sit alone in a room and cry for 15 days. And it felt like I left everything behind in Thailand and went to China, but then I returned.

It's not just that I was sad....

Pond: But what would happen now that you were back.

Joong: I wasn't part of anything because my contract stated that if I didn't have a show, I was basically independent. I came back and everything just felt so empty. I was like: What should I do? I don't know what to do! There is no way forward. Did I have any money? No. I only had around 50.000 baht left before going to China. And I spent a lot of money there too. I don't know what I was so confident about, but I spent a lot of money. For some reason I was just so sure that somehow, no matter what, I would gain something from this whole experience. It had to have been worth it, someone had to have noticed me. That was my mindset at the time. So, I came back, COVID was happening, and then my dad died.

I have no money. My dad died. COVID.

My dad died, I can't do anything. When my mom called me, I was shooting an MV with my friends. We were supposed to shoot for three days and my mom told me dad passed away on the first day.

Pond: That's awful.

Joong: I cried the first day. I was putting on makeup, crying while putting on makeup by myself because it was a self-made project.

Interviewer: So it was a self-made project with your friends?

Joong: No, with the label. But we did everything on our own, we paid for it on our own, because we wanted to give back to all the fans supporting us in Thailand somehow. We had no shows, no songs, no nothing, so we decided to make it ourselves and pay for it ourselves. Even though we didn't have much money at the time. It was tough.

Interviewer: How did you get through it? What did you tell yourself? You were disappointed, you had no money, someone you love passed away...

Joong: The thing is, I had no one to rely on anymore. If I couldn't rely on myself, there was no one else to help me. I had to survive, my siblings had to survive. So I just fought and kept going. I had to find a way, somehow. I announced that I have no label and just started over. I told my manager at the time, who was taking care of things slowly, that if they had any work, I was prepared to take it. Or maybe I could just go out there and try to find something on my own? Because I was just sitting around doing nothing. At the time, I had this person to take care of me, right? But maybe because of COVID or something like that, they couldn't find me a job. So I thought: Should I keep going like this? If they aren't giving me anything, can I try to find something on my own? Go out there and fight by myself? So I became a freelancer. But in just two weeks, I was contacted by a label, so thankfully I didn't have to stick to freelance for long.

[isak-dot-gov]

Hi! Can you do a fix like the one you did ‘lie to girls’ but instead can the song be ‘taste’ and can it be Nika Mühl x reader

Taste

Pairing: Nika Mühl x Singer!Reader

Word count: 1609

My Masterlist :)

.....................................

Nika sat on the couch, scrolling through social media when a notification popped up.

Taste, the latest single by Y/N, out now! 

The excitement of seeing her girlfriend's new song sent a thrill through her. Without hesitation, she clicked the link to the music video and settled in, eager to support you, as she always did. You had been working so hard on this project, and Nika had always been your biggest fan.

The song started off beautifully, the guitar accompanied by your smooth, honeyed voice. Nika felt a rush of pride as she watched you in the music video, the screen showcasing your talent, beauty, and charisma. But as the video progressed, her stomach tightened.

There was a scene where you're with another girl, and Nika told herself it was just acting. But then—there it was.

A kiss. 

Not just a peck either, but a lingering, passionate kiss filled with the chemistry that made it look way too real. Nika froze, her chest tightening painfully. A wave of jealousy crashed over her, threatening to drown her in a mix of hurt and confusion. She wasn’t prepared for that. 

Why hadn’t you told her about this? Why hadn’t you warned her? Now it was all over the internet, and Nika couldn’t escape it—people were already sharing clips of the kiss, tagging her in posts, fans speculating about her reaction. She slammed her laptop shut, her heart pounding. A flood of emotions—anger, hurt, jealousy—surged through her. 

She couldn't handle it.

Instead of talking to you, she withdrew. Over the next few days, Nika became more and more distant, avoiding your texts and dodging your calls, which was unlike her. Normally, she’d be texting nonstop or waiting for you after your studio sessions. But now, every time she thought about the video, about that scene, her stomach turned.

You, of course, noticed immediately. Your calls with her had grown shorter, and Nika barely responded to your messages. After days of silence, you couldn’t take it anymore. You had to know what was going on.

Later that week, you showed up at Nika’s apartment, determined to get to the bottom of this. She knocked on the door and, after a long pause, Nika finally opened it. Her face was a mixture of surprise and discomfort. 

"Nika, what's going on?" you asked, stepping inside, your eyes filled with concern. "You've been avoiding me for days. Did I do something?"

Nika bit her lip, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. She avoided your gaze, her heart racing. This wasn’t how she imagined confronting her feelings. "I’m fine," she muttered, but you could see right through her.

"No, you’re not," you pressed, stepping closer. "Talk to me. Please."

Nika’s jaw tightened, her eyes finally locking with yours. The hurt was palpable. "Why didn’t you tell me?" she blurted out, voice low but sharp.

You frowned. "Tell you what?"

"The video. That scene," Nika said bitterly. "The kiss. You didn’t think I deserved a heads-up? I had to find out with the rest of the world, and now it’s everywhere. People keep tagging me in clips, like I’m supposed to be okay with watching my girlfriend kiss someone else like that."

Your face softened as understanding dawned on her. "Oh, Nika…" you stepped closer, reaching for her, but Nika flinched, pulling back. That hurt you way more than you expected. "I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t even think—"

"Exactly," Nika interrupted, her voice shaking with frustration. "You didn’t think about how I’d feel, watching that. You should’ve told me. At least give me a warning."

Your heart sank. "I should have. You’re right, I should’ve told you. But it was just acting. It didn’t mean anything."

"It doesn’t matter," Nika said quietly. "Seeing it, not being prepared for it… it made me feel like you didn’t care how I’d react. Like you didn’t care about how it would make me feel."

You stepped forward, gently placing a hand on Nika’s arm. "I do care, Nika. I care so much. I was just caught up in the project, and I didn’t think. But you mean everything to me. I should’ve talked to you about it first. I’m so sorry, baby."

Nika finally looked at you, eyes softening a little. "It’s hard watching other people think they know more about us than we do. And then seeing you with someone else, even if it’s just acting… it hurts."

You nodded, guilt weighing heavy on her chest. "I promise, from now on, I’ll make sure you know about things like that. I don’t ever want you to feel like I’m leaving you in the dark again."

Nika sighed, finally letting some of the tension go. "Okay. But just… next time, talk to me, alright? I can handle it better if I know."

You smiled softly, stepping closer to her. "I promise."

Nika, after a beat, allowed herself to relax into your arms, the warmth between the two of you replacing the jealousy that had gripped her for days. "I missed you, bebo," Nika whispered, her voice barely audible.

"I missed you too," you murmured, receiving a kiss to your forehead. "And for the record, you're the only one I want to kiss like that."

Nika laughed softly, the sound bringing a sense of relief. "Good. Because that scene was way too convincing."

You grinned, leaning in to kiss her gently. "I’ll save all the convincing for you."

The two of you stayed wrapped up in each other for a while, the tension slowly easing away. Nika could feel her heart rate steadying, the warmth of your body against hers feeling like home. But beneath that warmth lingered a hint of residual hurt. 

"Nika," you said softly, breaking the silence, "I want you to know that I’ll do anything to make this right. You mean so much to me."

Nika nodded but hesitated, her brows furrowing slightly. "I appreciate that, but… what if it happens again? What if there’s another project where I’m not prepared for something like this? I don’t want to keep feeling like this."

Your expression shifted to one of determination. "I get it. And I promise to always give you a heads-up from now on. I’ll even let you be involved in the process if you want. I never want you to feel that way again."

Nika’s heart warmed at the sincerity in your voice. "Really? You’d let me be involved?"

"Of course," you replied earnestly. "You’re not just my girlfriend; you’re my partner in everything. I want you by my side, not just in the good times but through all of it."

Tears prickled at the corners of Nika’s eyes. The jealousy still lingered in her mind, but your words brought a sense of hope. "That means a lot to me."

You took a step back, looking deep into Nika's eyes, searching for any remnants of doubt. "How about we make a deal? For every project I do, I’ll run the concept by you first. I want you to be as involved as you feel comfortable. What do you think?"

Nika considered it, feeling a smile tugging at her lips. "I’d like that. I want to be there for you and support you, but I also need to feel like I’m part of your world, not just an afterthought."

"You are my world, Nika," you said earnestly, cupping Nika's face with her hands. "You always have been."

Nika leaned into your touch, feeling a sense of calm wash over her. "Okay, let’s do it. Let’s face everything together."

"Together," you repeated, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on Nika’s lips. It was gentle at first, but then it deepened, a promise wrapped in affection. The kiss ignited something inside Nika—a reassurance that your love for each other was strong enough to withstand any challenge.

You pulled away, your foreheads resting against each other, and Nika finally allowed herself to breathe a little easier. "I still can’t believe you kissed someone else on-screen," she said teasingly, a smirk playing on her lips.

You chuckled, rolling her eyes. "Trust me, it wasn’t as fun as it looked. You know I only want you."

"Good," Nika said, feigning seriousness. "Because I don’t plan on sharing you."

You laughed, the sound lighting up the room. "Agreed. Now, let’s figure out what we want for dinner. I owe you a date after all this."

As you began to make plans, the tension faded, replaced by laughter and warmth. Nika felt grateful that she could talk about her feelings openly, and it reminded her that love was more than just passion—it was about communication, understanding, and partnership. 

The doorbell rang, interrupting their lighthearted moment. You went to answer it, revealing a delivery person with a bouquet of flowers. The card attached read: "I’m sorry, baby. Love, Y/N." Nika couldn’t help but smile, feeling a surge of affection for her girlfriend

"You didn’t have to do this," Nika said, her voice softening as you brought the flowers over.

You shrugged, a playful smile on your lips. "I wanted to make things right. Plus, I thought we could use some colour in here." 

Nika grinned, feeling her heart swell with love. "You really know how to charm me."

You beamed, leaning in to steal another kiss. "And I plan to keep charming you for a long time."

With your hearts lighter and a renewed sense of connection, you settled in for a cosy night filled with laughter, music, and the sweet taste of love. You both knew that while challenges might come, together, You could face anything.

....................................................

Isak speaks: Ok so I really wanted to write one about the music video, which I'm still obsessed with (it should've been me kissing Jenna Ortega but anywho) and I feel like the person who requested this was more so referring to the actual song's lyrics so I will be writing an alternative version for that one :)

[cherryblooom]

Enchanted — OP81 [introduction]

Summary: After being forced of moving mid-year of school, the least thing you expected was getting a crush in a cute boy who loves karting and actually being corresponded. I mean, you have always wanted to have a romance like the books but forgot all the struggles and challenges that comes with it.

Pairing: Teen!Oscar Piastri x Teen!Reader

navigation series masterlist

Warnings: period shaming, bullying, reader has some questionable thoughts and self-contempt, animal abuse (no details). mostly narration.

Author note: This is my very first work ever, please be nice and reblog if you liked it!

Everything felt very surreal. You can feel your eyes stinging, fighting not to let out those tears that you had been holding in since before you left the house.

There wasn't much traffic, but you weren't sure if that was a good thing or if you just wanted to delay the impossible. You knew it was necessary but couldn't help feeling guilty for your parents for having to move across the country and leave everything they knew behind. Your father had lived his entire life working and building his company from scratch and thanks to endless nights, you and your mother were just beginning to see the fruits of his hard work, of course, before all the shitshow happened. Your parents had done everything they could to make you understand that their anger was not your fault and not directed towards you, it was actually the opposite, but you couldn't help feeling resentful and like a freaking failure.

You played with the apps on your phone in a failed attempt to distract yourself but couldn't help to grimace when you opened the Instagram app and saw your now private profile. You followed some famous people but you only had 10 followers as all the others were deleted by your mother.

''I'm sorry for making you move and leave everything behind. Dad, the company...''

''Honey, no. Stop it!'' your father replied after lowering the volume of the radio while your mother, who was in the passenger seat next to him, turned around with a look of concern. ''We already talked about it, you're not guilty of what happened and we're not angry at you. We should have protected you and been there for you but we realized it too late but I promise you that we are going to leave all this in the past and although you don't want to believe it now, we love you and we always will.'' She was right, you couldn't believe her. Your mind was going down a somewhat dark path and you were sure that if your mother had even the slightest idea of what was going on in your head, she wouldn't hesitate to send you to a psychologist. ''Plus, you will love the new house! It has a beautiful patio and a pool where you can practice in case you want to join the swimming team at your new school.’’ She told you slightly excited, trying to pass on the feeling to you but you didn't have the heart to tell her that it wouldn't be possible, so you just nodded and looked out the window again.

You could feel your mother's gaze on you, perhaps waiting for an answer or even a smile but you didn't have the energy to do it or even fake it.

You had become what they call a ''bookworm''. Despite having access to technology and internet, you had developed a great love and appreciation for physical books and the smell of a new book excited you more than what is perhaps ''normal'' but thanks to the fact that apparently not many people shared the sentiment, the library was empty most of the time (at least the one located in the junior wing of the school, you didn't know about the one in the senior wing, but you have heard that it has like three floors and a private cafeteria).

You were reading one of your favorite books again and even though you practically knew the story by heart, you couldn’t stop laughing and feeling your heart flutter at the thought of how it would feel to be loved like that. Would you ever be able to find someone who would love and admire you just for being you? Just for existing? You had a love/hate thing for romance books. You read about how the characters were loved, cared for, how they could let go and turn their brains off to just…be. Exist. You knew you had just turned 14 and that according to your parents and the logical part of your brain, you have a whole life waiting ahead of you, but you can’t imagine that someone could love you like that. You couldn’t even make friends, how the hell are you going out to dates? No idea, but you didn’t want to think about it and fall down that rabbit hole. You turned the page, excited as you were only about 10 pages away from your favorite part but decided to leave it for later to read in the comfort of your room.

The alarm distracted you from your book and with it, you knew that you only had 10 minutes left of lunch (you weren't a big fan of the cafeteria, lots of people and noise so the library was always a good choice) and that you had to go to the biology lab, not forgetting to stop by your locker to look for the essay that you have to hand in today. When you reached for your backpack, you felt a strange tug in your stomach that you didn't know how to describe, you had never felt anything like it before, so you were quite confused, but you ignored it since you knew you didn't have much time left.

Then you saw him. A boy your age was entering the library but you turned around facing away from him, so he was unable see you. You barely saw him for a few seconds but boy, was he cute. Is this what you always read about? You didn't even know the boy's name, but you noticed his short brown hair, his rosy cheeks and how tall he was. Was this your first crush? It’s dumb! You watched him for a few seconds but apparently that was enough to make you fantasize what it would be like to talk to him or what his name would be, if he was nice or a jerk like the rest of the boys in your class (which would be a bummer). All of the other girls in your class have no problem talking to boys or making friends in general but here you are, covering your face with your hair so the cute boy you saw for two seconds doesn’t notice your presence.

You walked out of the library with your coat hanging on your backpack, it wasn’t cold so you didn’t need it at the moment. You had 5 minutes before Biology started so you headed to your locker and you always walked close to the walls, that way you drew as little attention as possible. Apparently, old habits die hard. Up until now, you had done a pretty good job of being a regular girl and not drawing attention to yourself. The girls in your class dangerously reminded you of the girl responsible for you having to move and change schools mid-year and the boys in your class are jerks, is the best way you can describe them. There was no way you wanted to run into any of them. You wake up, go to school, go home, do your homework and then go to bed. Same routine, every day. You watched on social media as your other classmates went out, had fun, went to the mall, bought makeup and clothes, posted photos and videos in groups, laughing, and as much as you wished you didn't care, you felt envious. Why can't you be like that? Why do you have to be the little weirdo who always goes unnoticed, and no one pays attention to?

You had to take one more turn to get to your locker when you heard giggles behind you. You turned your head slightly and saw two boys who were a grade above pointing at you and laughing; your chest started to hurt and you felt like there wasn't enough air to breathe. Anxiety, you felt anxious. You ran to your locker as the laughter intensified behind you and you just knew that you were the reason for it. Suddenly, you felt that same tug at the bottom of your belly.

''Oh no, no, no, please don't...'' you whispered almost on the verge of tears. You felt something hit your head and then fall to the ground. You wanted to die when you looked down and saw a sanitary pad that someone had thrown at your head which made the laughter louder.

''Oh no, the weirdo is bleeding out! I hope she has another skirt because yikes.''

''Hey! You're staining the floor, how fucking disgusting!''

''If I was the janitor, I'd make her clean it up. How disgusting.''

''Hey, honestly, how did you not notice? Didn't you feel your vagina wet or smelly or shit? Fuck, I have to get my book, but my locker is next to hers, imagine if it smells. That will be so gross!''

''In case you prefer to put things inside rather than a pad, weirdo'' Someone had thrown two tampons at your head, one of which had gotten tangled in your curls. At this point, you were already sobbing, not being able to hold back the tears and humiliated, all the while you were still turning your back on everyone with the locker open, with fear and shame eating you away.

Suddenly, you felt someone's presence which brought you out of the little dazed status.

''Honey, come on, I'm going to take you to the infirmary. Come on, you're okay, let's go.'' You could tell by the softness of the voice that it was a woman. She was the school's duty nurse. Apparently, someone was kind enough to call her while the others were scoffing. You let yourself be guide towards the infirmary and could distantly hear the nurse demanding them to stop laughing. At this point, you didn't care anymore, you just wanted to get to your bed and cry, that's all.

5 Months Later

You were in the south courtyard of the school, the farthest of all, with your third sketchbook finishing what would be your second attempt at drawing your mother. It would soon be her birthday and although you had already bought her a gift at the mall, you wanted to give her something that only you could do. Besides, she was the number 1 fan of your drawings and she bragged to her friends that her daughter was a great artist. Sometimes it embarrassed you but at the same time you felt good knowing that you had someone on your side, supporting you. With each stroke, you felt your confidence increase and, you had even opened an Instagram’s account for your drawings, and you felt good knowing that there were people who recognized your talent and encouraged you to continue learning, even if they were strangers. Maybe you were not totally alone.

You felt stuck. You couldn’t draw the hands, and with each attempt you only felt like you were screwing up more. Before you got more frustrated, you decided to take a break and continue in the comfort of your bed after eating. When you were about to start packing your things, your notebook fell open right on the last page that always made you blush. The boy from the library, who you now know also plays on the school soccer team (not that you’re stalking him at all) was looking back at you in an unfinished drawing in your sketchbook. You had only seen him passing by the halls and you couldn’t admit out loud that you unconsciously tried to match your schedule with his, like when he had his sports class. Oscar, that was his name, and you knew it thanks to the fact that he was apparently the star in the games and his name was always shouted by the people in the audience. Apart from seeing him in sports class, you didn't get the chance to see him much since he was in a grade above yours.

It was Tuesday, 3:40 PM according to the alarm you had set. School had ended 10 minutes ago but the alarm reminded you that in 5 minutes the soccer practice, Oscar's soccer practice, would start. Pathetic? Yes, but it wasn't a crime to want to appreciate your crush from afar, right?

Before you could leave the courtyard, you saw out of the corner of your eye a cardboard box which was dirty and you swore that it moved for a second. It looked like trash, but it couldn't be since the school has a zero-tolerance policy regarding that and you can literally end up suspended for throwing trash outside the trash bin. They were really strict about that. You approached it with some caution and jumped a little in shock when you saw that it did move and that it wasn't part of your imagination. Your heart stopped when you heard a small sound...a kitten? You approached more confidently, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw that the box didn't have any holes in it and was in fact sealed with many pieces of tape.

In a hurry, you threw your backpack on the floor and took out your scissors to cut the tape. You could feel the adrenaline and fear of what you might find inside if it turned out to be exactly what you thought but still, you carefully but firmly cut the tape. If they turned out to be kittens, you were going to start crying. You took a deep breath and opened it, feeling your eyes water. There were 4 kittens that looked like they couldn't be more than a few weeks old. One was completely white; another was almost completely black but with a few white spots while the last two were a combination of orange and white. One of the orange kittens, unlike its siblings, wasn't meowing and was just lying there barely breathing. You felt your heart break. They looked cold and hungry, so tiny and defenseless. You have always been a cat person, kittens being your weak point. Quickly, you grabbed your backpack, hooking it on your shoulders so you could carry the box without dropping it and you couldn’t run but did your best to walk fast. When you got to the school gate, you called your mom to come pick you up telling her about the box you found and that you wanted to take them to the vet. Your mom knew there was no way you were going to leave them abandoned after finding them so after 10 minutes you were already on your way to the vet with four beautiful kittens with you.

---------

Your Instagram account dedicated to your drawings has gained 1,000 followers, which was a great achievement for you, but you decided to take that opportunity to post that you had 3 kittens up for adoption. It destroyed you knowing that you couldn't keep the 4 kittens, but your parents had already let you keep Cotton (cliche because the kitten was completely white, you knew it, but you didn't care).

You were appalled while looking at your notifications. Oscar. Yes, that Oscar was messaging you and after checking a little more you realized that he had been following you for a while and you hadn't even noticed. You could feel your cheeks turning red, but you took a breath and remembered that he was only doing that because he wanted to adopt a kitten, you were of zero importance.

my_cherryblossom

Liked by Oscar_piastri and 57 others

A few weeks ago I found a box sealed with tape that contained 4 kittens inside. It's obvious that the intention of whoever put them there was for them not to survive but I found them just in time. Sadly, I can only keep one, which is why I am giving up the other 3 for adoption! They are so cute and playful.

If you're interested, write me.

P.S. These kittens are my life so if you give me weird vibes, I won't give you one lol

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Radio Check: As mentioned above, this is just the first part of what I hope will be a series telling Oscar x Reade's story. If you'd like to be tagged, let me know! Please Reblog and like!

[devildomwriter]

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause | Diavolo x Reader

900+ words | GN reader | warnings: Diavolo and reader have a child

The towering pine tree shone brightly in the ballroom of the castle. Barbatos had given in this year to Diavolo’s pleas for an unreasonably large Christmas tree and now you both got to enjoy it reflecting the ornaments across the room.

“I told him it was worth it,” Diavolo, dressed as Santa, grinned proudly. Barbatos sighed and brought in the last stack of gifts you’d prepared for everyone.

“This is all of the gifts. Are you certain you won’t be needing my services anymore tonight, Young lord?” Barbatos asked Diavolo with a worried frown.

“Yes, ___ and I can handle the rest. You like organizing the gifts right?” Diavolo double-checked with you and you nodded enthusiastically.

Diavolo chuckled and Barbatos bowed and made a swift exit, ready to turn in for the night.

“Okay, so they’re in different wrapping paper for different people right?” Diavolo asked and you nodded and began sorting them.

“Where’s Luci’s pile?”

“The dark blue ones with peacock feathers.”

Diavolo started laughing and began to guess the others. “Golden ones for Mammon, Ruri-Chan for Levi, Christmas Cats for Satan….let’s see, the pink ones with kiss lip stains must be Asmo’s. Where did you find such perfect paper?” He asked as he looked everything over.

“The internet.”

“Yes that would make sense…no food ones for Beel?”

“Not all his stuff is food and we don’t want him eating it. The perishables are in the walk-in freezer.”

Diavolo nodded, agreeing with your choice. “So…his paper must be Devilcat? Wise decision! He truly loves that mascot, doesn’t he? And Belphie here must be the clouds, right?” He continued talking to himself as he delighted in the choices of wrapping paper.

He burst into laughter as you handed him one of Luke’s gifts, wrapped in chihuahuas of course.

“Thirteen is the octopus one, Solomon is the magic wands, Raphael is the music notes, Simeon is the quills, Mephistopheles is the My Little Pony—“

“Bahahahahahaha,” Diavolo burst into laughter strong enough that tears streamed down his cheeks.

“Lastly, Barbatos is the British tea set paper, mine is the royal cats, yours are the cutesy animals, and—“

You reached for a gift simultaneously, touching hands. You smiled and took the gift and placed it in the nicest pile. “And these, are Chao’s.”

Diavolo smiled and pulled you into his chest as you sat on the large tree skirt.

“He’s gonna love them,” Diavolo smiled and kissed your forehead.

“It’ll be hard to top Barbatos, I don’t know how he does it,” you sighed. Chao may be yours and Diavolo’s son but every year Barbatos seemed to outshine the two of you gift-wise.

“Barbatos is still hiding his gifts in his room for Christmas morning,” Diavolo shook his head. “He really won’t give us a chance to outdo him, will he?”

You shook your head in agreement, “he’s currying favor already,” you joked and Diavolo laughed and kissed the back of your neck.

You eyed Diavolo up and down, letting your eyes linger long enough for him to notice and he grinned playfully.

“Done delivering gifts for the night?” You asked him sweetly and he nodded, got to his feet, and pulled you up with him.

“There’s just one more thing I want to do for the very special person at the top of my nice list,” he whispered into your ear. “Can you guess what that is?”

You blushed and nodded, “I think I can.”

Diavolo leaned in to kiss you when you both heard an ornament jingle and fall to the floor. Diavolo turned around to investigate and you followed but saw nothing.

Diavolo smirked and chuckled. “I think someone’s being naughty, should we go and see?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No, I’d rather have Santa to myself right now,” you teased and he nodded eagerly as you both left to your room.

Meanwhile, Barbatos, settling into bed was disturbed by the tapping of quick footsteps and loud banging on his door. He sighed, slipped on his shoes, and opened the door to see Chao looking frantic. His eyes shone like his mother’s and his hair was red and messy like his father’s.

“Oh my, whatever are you doing up at this hour Young prince?” Barbatos asked, feigning concern.

“Out there! Out there! It’s Mommy,” he sputtered in between gasps. Barbatos picked up Chao and prepared to investigate when Chao revealed his secret, “Mommy was kissing Santa! I saw it! We have to tell Daddy!”

Barbatos stopped in his tracks and started laughing. “Oh my, is that what happened? Don’t worry, I’m sure Daddy doesn’t mind a greeting kiss.”

Chao looked even more concerned, “Does Daddy like that kind of stuff?”

Barbatos’s eye twitched. “Whatever could you mean by that…”

“Uncle Asmo said—“ Barbatos covered Chao’s mouth.

“Listen to me Chao, this is very important.” Chao nodded, hand still over his mouth. “We will never ever listen to anything Uncle Asmo tells us. Understood?” Chao nodded again. “And if Uncle Asmo tells you anything weird, come tell me, okay?”

Chao nodded again and Barbatos took his hand away. “Now then, why don’t we get you back to bed, we have a busy day tomorrow, six of your uncles will be here for their gifts from you and we want you looking your best.”

“Don’t you mean seven uncles?”

“No, I meant six. Now let’s tuck you into bed little one. it’s nearly Christmas Day.”

[grapejuicebrat]

“Was it real or just for show?” TEASER

PAIRING: famous!harry x famous!y/n

SYNOPSIS: baby i just gotta know how long has this been going on?

NOTES: be nice english isn’t my first language and this is my first work! I personally recommend listening to this song while reading “How long” by Charlie Puth. If you have any thoughts or ideas, I'm waiting for you in the inbox. or just to talk because I'm bored. feel free to do whatever you want x

WARNINGS: smut but not really (maybe some hints, but nothing like that will happen cause i’m not in the right mood), swearing, flirting, kinda friends to enemies to lovers, kissing, harry and reader being stubborn. i think that’s all if you found something else comment please.

“Harry, how do you feel about miss Y/n?”

Harry already knew how to answer. In fact, it had been the first question asked at almost every interview Harry had attended for the past few months. Jeff always said it's good for PR because all the fans are sure you're dating. I mean, isn't it? You flirt with each other on social media, write comments to each other on Instagram and hint at some kind of relationship on Twitter. Sometimes it seemed to him that it was so. You're just playing the game, waiting for the other person to give in and confess their feelings. Harry remembers the first time he mentioned you in an interview talking about celebrity crushes. Fans literally went crazy when they heard your name. For another week, the Internet was buzzing with rumors that the famous singer was dating an actress Y/N.

Of course, he didn't mention your name for nothing. By this point, you've been talking for a few months, almost immediately starting flirting via text. Surprisingly, it never devolved into anything more than just sex jokes.

“I mean she’s an incredible actress, you know? Have you seen her new movie? It’s amazing. I already told her that I wouldn't mind playing with her in the remake of "The Notebook". Personally, I think that we would be perfect for the main roles.” he laughs.

“So we should wait to see your chemistry on screen, am I right?” asks the interviewer and Harry shrugs.

“We’ll see”

“Y/n, please tell us more about Mr. Styles”.

You laugh and playfully roll your eyes. It seems to you that you will never get tired of playing this game. You flirt with each other in public and in private when no one is looking. At the same time, you have never been caught by the paparazzi together somewhere in a restaurant or on vacation. In fact, it's because you never went anywhere together. Harry never asked you out and you didn't have the guts to even ask him out for coffee. You didn't have any contact that required you to play couple in public. Personally, you did it because it was fun. It's fun to read some news about yourself, where you are married or pregnant. It's fun to watch fan speculation that isn't true. It's fun to pretend you don't understand anything at an interview and talk in riddles.

“I have no idea who are you talking about”

“Oh come on! You do know who is Harry Styles. In his last interview he told us that he wants to do a movie with you”

“Ok, I'm just kidding. Harry is a cool actor and singer. He is very talented. Have you seen his latest movies? To be honest, I watched "My Policeman" three times. It's not every day you see Harry shirtless, you know. Therefore, I would also not mind playing in the same movie with Mr. Styles. If anyone is looking for actors for the main roles, give us a call!” you smiled, looking at the people in the hall. Apparently, many of them are fans of your couple, because when they heard the name Harry, they literally went crazy.

What you didn't know was that this innocent game of flirting would turn into a race of hate and love. Both of you will have to come face to face with your fears and anxieties. You will have to learn to live with mistakes and without people with whom you planned your old age. You will have to meet again someone who was once everything to you. And will you be able to say "Goodbye" again?

Patiently waiting for your thoughts

[man-i-love-fanfiction]

To Share the Space with Simple Living Things-Hozier x Fem!Florist!Reader

Chapter Two: Daffodils - New Beginnings

Summary: Andrew comes back to pay you, but not before spending some much-needed time at his day job.

Word count: 2439

Author's note: thank you all so much for the positivity the first chapter!!! i cannot wait to keep working on this fic, you guys make it all worth it. i'm really fond of this chapter so hopefully you all enjoy :)

tag list: @celery-grace @gayandfairycore @deathmybride @harry-bowie-mercury @hodgepodge-musings @blue-eyed-bug @secretttytttttttttt @dinner-n-dxatribes (if you want to be added just let me know!)

fic below the cut <3

Andrew did not take two days to come back. He took one day.

He chalked it up to him feeling guilty. What you did for him was a very unnecessary act of kindness. What was he supposed to do? Take his time? Absolutely not.

Admittedly, a small part of it was also that he wanted to see your face again. Not that it mattered, but he wondered what the smile on your face would look like when he told you his mother loved the flowers, and that she immediately put them in her nicest vase and in direct sunlight, wanting to maintain them for as long as possible. He wanted to know more about flower language, something he had done a Google search for when he arrived at home, but he had faith you knew much more than what the internet could tell him. And most importantly, it seemed very one-sided that you had his number and he didn't have yours.

Again, not that it mattered.

It was also an issue of convenience. Andrew tried to plan out his day on the commute to work, and luckily you fit right into his schedule. Your shop was only a few minutes away from where he worked. He could walk over to you during his lunch break, pay you back, and still grab a bite to eat. If he was willing to skip lunch, he could even try to talk to you for a little bit.

Anyway, he was getting sidetracked. He had a lot to do today; he should have much more important things on his mind. This is what he thought about as he pulled into the parking lot. He only had three clients, but he could already tell one of them would be a tall order. Thankfully, that was his first appointment, so he could get that over with. Then, hopefully, he’d repay you, maybe chat, and get back to work.

Right. Work. Love wouldn’t exactly describe his feelings towards his job. Appreciation, definitely. He was grateful that he wasn’t stuck behind an office desk and had a job that could actually let him express his creativity. However, the amount of effort and concentration he had to put into his job on a daily basis was something he dreaded and others (especially his customers) overlooked. He couldn’t truly complain. It was worth it for the end result, and for the happiness on the customer’s face.

Enjoyment probably described his feelings best. Andrew enjoyed being a tattoo artist. A fitting thought to have right as he entered the shop.

He greeted his coworkers with a wave and a polite smile, as always (though seeing his best friend Alex at their shared workplace constituted a high-five instead). Attempting to start working as soon as he could, he scrolled through the photos on his phone and pulled up the sketch of what he'd be inking today: two deer lying down side by side, decomposing. Sure, drawing a decaying animal on someone else’s body wasn’t how most people would choose to start their day. It was an unorthodox choice, but he understood the appeal. It was poetic, in a gruesome way, the concept of never being able to be pulled away from the one you love, not even in death. Decomposing, but still being joyous because at least your partner was still by your side. A lyric without a melody came to him.

After the insects have made their claim, I’d be home with you.

Andrew let out a deep sigh. This would happen to him sometimes; the simple act of anything from sketching a design to reading his favorite book caused couplets to sprout in his head. It gave him this guilt, like he was cheating on his career and songwriting was the other woman, but people are allowed to be multifaceted. Besides, his ability to write songs never did evolve into something substantial. If anything, it was a hobby. Just another creative outlet — and Andrew was always itching to create.

His customer walked in a few minutes afterwards, and he got ready to get to work. He had met her before: a thin, freckled young woman with a wide smile and one small tattoo on her shoulder. They exchanged pleasantries, confirmed that she approved of the design, and made small talk as he printed the stencil. He cleansed his workspace and let his client get as comfortable as possible before he began.

He took his time inking the design, meticulously needling each detail he'd crafted. The shading, the fungi surrounding the deer, the exposed, rotting ribcage. What he was most proud of was the subtle looks on the animals’ faces, purposefully made to be filled with both solemnness of their passing, but overall content. Calmness, even. The lyric he had created before played over and over in his head, despite his multiple attempts to push it away.

By the time he’d finished up, his hand was cramping so hard he was concerned it might fall off, a pain familiar to him but one that he never fully got accustomed to. All that aching for something he wasn't even done with; he’d need to have another session to fully finish the job.

Gloves were removed, payments were accepted, and follow-up sessions were scheduled. He took a photo of his work in progress, with the consent of his client. Other artists did this often, but Andrew wasn't one for so much commemoration of his art. He felt too much of an attachment to this specific work, however, and felt he'd be letting himself down if he didn't get to at least have it in his phone. He waved the client (and his artwork) goodbye. Alex walked by, drinking a coffee that had undoubtedly gone cold. He raised an eyebrow, wordlessly asking Andrew what he was doing.

“I’m going on a walk. I have to go back to the florist.”

“Weren't you literally there yesterday for your mum?”

“It's to pay them back. I… technically never paid for the bouquet,” Andrew explained as he shrugged on his jacket.

“Oh, so you stole those flowers? Have fun doing tattoos in prison!”

“I didn't steal them, the woman working there said I could take them as long as I paid her back in two days.” He stuck his hands in his pockets to make sure he had his wallet this time. A perplexed look came across Alex’s face.

“What kind of shady florist are you going to?”

“She's the furthest thing from shady. It was very bright in there, actually. And welcoming.”

“I’m sure it was. Very welcoming, indeed,” Alex commented before taking a sip from his cup.

“What are you insinuating here?”

“That you already fancy this florist woman.”

“You do know it's possible for me to have a platonic conversation with the opposite gender, right?”

“You're too much of a hopeless romantic for me to believe that's what's going on here.”

As usual, Andrew’s best friend could see right through him. He ignored Alex’s theories, becoming more annoyed than impressed.

“And with that, I’m going.”

“Bye. Have fun with your yearning,” Alex joked with a wave.

He said goodbye and stepped outside. To his surprise, he was greeted by a light drizzle, which he didn't mind. It freshened him up, something he didn't know he needed until the cool droplets hit his face. He only hoped it wouldn't worsen, as with his light jacket he would be dreadfully unprepared.

It had been a relatively slow day. Unlike yesterday, no one else forgot their wallet and needed a favor. No one else actually bothered with what you had to say about the messages of the bouquets. And unlike yesterday, no customers caught your eye. For most of your day, you were zoned out, lost in your own world when you didn't have a customer. When you were more aware of your surroundings, you found yourself always checking the doorway, subconsciously waiting for a certain someone’s arrival. Still, you were living most of your day in a daze. You didn't even notice it was pouring outside until Andrew walked in, absolutely drenched. It took you a moment to fully absorb his frazzled state; not only was he soaked, he was out of breath.

“Hello. I didn't expect you to be back so soon,” you admitted. In fact, part of you didn't expect him to return at all.

“I like,” he said, panting after every other word, “to keep my promises.”

“Are you… Did you run here?”

“I started off walking, but then it began to downpour so I tried to hurry up. Weather is a fickle thing, huh?”

“I could lend you my umbrella, if you want. For the walk back.”

“You’ve done enough for me already. I couldn't take your protection from the rain as well. I’ll just constantly try to stay under awnings.”

You chuckled at his comment. He took a few deep breaths to regain his composure before walking towards you.

“You’ll be happy to know my mum adores the bouquet. She liked the look of it first, but then after I explained your flower language, her face lit up. She put it in a vase and it's now on display on her windowsill.”

“That's great to hear,” you responded as a grin spread across your face. It always brightened your day to hear positive feedback from the people who actually received the arrangements you worked so hard on. It also satisfied you that Andrew was beaming the entire time, fueled by the joy you inspired in his mother.

“She's now expecting flowers for almost every occasion, so I hope you're open on holidays.”

“Oh, we're open year-round. Except for Valentine’s Day, when we close out of fear that boyfriends that need to seem romantic will form a stampede and storm through the place,” you joked.

“Good to know that you value the safety of your employees,” he said, continuing the discussion with a similar sarcastic tone.

“Employees? God no, it's for the safety of the flowers. I can always hire someone else year-round. I only get my lily-of-the-valley shipments the last week of January. Those things are expensive. I can't have a last-minute hoard of men trying to seem thoughtful destroying them.”

“I’ve got a cousin that's a chocolatier and she has a very similar policy.”

“What can I say? I take very serious precautions to protect my art.”

You couldn't keep a serious face for too long; after a pause, you cracked a smile and a small giggle escaped you. Andrew took this as an opportunity to change the subject, because as much as he could've stood there talking to you for the rest of the day, you both had jobs to get back to.

“I’ll stop talking your ear off. I came here for an actual reason. Let me pay you back,” he said.He took out his wallet and counted out a few dollars before placing them on the counter.

“Here. That's what I owe you.” He pulled out another banknote and held it out towards you. “And here's an extra fifty. To thank you for your kindness.”

Your eyebrows raised at his gesture, which you instantly declined, giving this extra money back to him.

“Goodness, um… thank you, but I can't accept this.”

“Sure you can. It’s my attempt at repaying you. Think of it as a tip.”

“I did it out of the goodness of my heart. I don't expect anything in return, I’m just happy I could bring a smile to your face. And to your mum’s.”

“Let me do something for you too, then. You deserve to have a smile on your face as well.”

You let out a sigh, but made no effort to counter his proposal. He paused for a moment, premeditating what he was going to say. He spoke again.

“You really helped me out, and I want to be able to do something for you. Let me buy you a coffee someday. Or a tea. Or even a croissant if you’re hungry,” he offered, his tone bordering on pleading.

There was a question on the tip of your tongue, one you were too nervous to say out loud, but couldn't help but wonder.

Are you asking me out on a date?

You kept quiet. He was just trying to be nice; there was no romantic intent. At least, that's what you told yourself. Your answer was the same as it would be if that was his intention.

“Alright. When and where?”

“There's a cafe about ten minutes from here. Want to meet there on Friday at 9 in the morning?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Great! Great. I’ll… I’ll see you then.”

“See you then.”

You both stood there, frozen for a few seconds, neither of you knowing what to do. Andrew broke away first. He took a step back and walked away, glancing over his shoulder to wave goodbye before reaching for the door handle. You waved in return, a small smile breaching your lips. The minute he left, you started to count down the hours until Friday.

There was this principle in psychology that had stuck with Andrew ever since he learned of it: the more you think about something, the more likely you are to notice it in your day-to-day life. He was especially feeling this principle today because ever since he met you, he saw flowers everywhere. It was as if the cosmos had decided that he couldn't forget about you, even if he wanted to.

There were flowers on every table of the restaurant he met his mother at. When he went back to his flat that day, he noticed his landlord placed pots of marigolds on the front step of the building. They even followed him to his place of work; his next client of the day wanted line art of a daffodil on her forearm.

She had told him her reasoning was the meaning of the flower—daffodils mean new beginnings. He wondered if you could corroborate that meaning with what you knew of flower language. If this woman knew how absolutely overrun with flora the past twenty-four hours had been for him. Was she sent by the universe to tell him that what was starting with you was just blossoming? Or was she just a twenty-something that wanted a tattoo she saw on Pinterest? Andrew was okay with either option; he was a grown man, aware that not everything in life was because of fate. He was just excited that he got to start something new with you, no matter how it ended.

[piaduarte]

Q & A

persisting, the 4D and letting go

Not so long ago I became stuck in a loop of wanting and waiting. Weeks passed by like minutes, and I was desperate to "get" what I "wanted"-- real desperate, I tell you. But one way or another, loops end. They do. Even if it doesn't seem like it in the moment, they always pass, and your higher self shines through. These are a couple of questions I had while at my lowest, and my answer to them now. Hope this post may be useful to someone!!

"How do I persist even if I don't see anything?"

"You just persist" is what I've been told time and time again. "Yeah, but how?" is what I shot back. And silence followed. Paraphrasing, there's this quote by Einstein I've seen around here saying that, it's when you sit with yourself in the silence you're so desperate to fill up, when you stop looking for answers, that's when you get them. It doesn't matter how many times people here tell you to persist (to decide, to know it's yours) if, when you close the app, you forget everything and go right back to the old story. Why keep entretaining a story that you don't like? It's like if you're watching a really bad movie -- you can just turn it off.

You are able to persist. It's not something supernatural that only a handful of people can do. Everyone persists in something. You are persisting in the old story, for example. "B-But... Why??? Why is my subconscious doing this to me? I want to change!! I do!". This is so silly. Why are you mad at your subconscious? There's no 'good' or 'bad' (or 'ugly') story, that's just something you add the meaning to later. Your subconscious doesn't know the difference.

In the end, it all comes down to choosing. Just one final choice (do I even need to tell you that you're the creator of all? You must know by now). When you choose -- when you accept that you have it in the 4D once you imagine it, that's who you are. And once you've chosen, you cannot just give it up. You don't need proof in the 3D when the 4D is the only reality that should matter right now. Accept that you have it and move on. Creation is finished.

"And how do I convince myself it's set in stone?"

Close your eyes right now and imagine whatever it is that you "want". You can see it. You've just experienced it within, you can't deny that. That being said, you now know creation is finished. It's done. Done. Done. Done.

The 4D is the only true reality. It's the blueprint, nothing would exist in your 3D if it wasn't for it, your old assumptions, thoughts and ideas. For you. All you need and want already exists within you. Your desires are not separate from you, so you can experience them within; your mind is not separate from you, so you can change your old patterns; your 3D is not separate from you, so you can control it! You are the 3D and the 4D, just -- different, in another form.

The 3D is not real; it is a reflection of your mind! It may feel real, look real... But just because you see from it, not beyond it; the body is experiencing the 3D, but it's when you start to look at it from the 4D that you can understand that and take it in. All you need is the 4D. And, within, you've already experienced your desire, and you don't need anything else in order to experience materialization. It is set in stone if you decide it is -- so choose.

"I want to experience 'x' now. What do I do everyday in order to get it?"

No. There's no "getting". There's no "in order to". There's no "want". From the moment you get involved in the imaginal act, creation is finished, and 'x' is already experienced. Therefore, it's done. If you're not focusing on the end, but rather on the "I want", you're in a state of lack. Shift your state. Why not? It's not hard; you're in a state now. But I get it. You want the -- 'real' experience in the 3D? You want everyone on here to stop talking in riddles and tell you what to do, because random people on the internet have more power over you than... you? Aren't you tired of chasing? Of trying? Maybe not -- enough.

But seriously, if you "want" "it" "now", persist in the knowing and go to sleep. Tell yourself it's done and it's done. Persist in the old story and that's what you "get". Persisit in the new one, and your reality shifts. After all, "nothing changes if nothing changes". Don't allow any other thought to distract you from the end. Just -- don't. Thoughts come and go, and doubts will come as well; observe them and let them go. The end will materialize in the 3D because it has already materialized in the 4D. The inner man is your true you, so be him. Be unbothered by the neutral 3D and focus on living as the inner man.

"Is this fail-proof? How do I know I'm not just wishing my life away?"

It's real if you assume it is! Now get off this app and do something! Because, who's going to do it for you? Be the inner man and continue being! It will happen! Trust yourself. Trust. Why not?

[satzumosupremacy]

Elite Bodyguard Series: Pt.2

Surprising Finish

Male reader x Momo (Ft a surprised Nayeon) 2.6k Words

Tags: Smut, Hardcore, Teasing, Domination, Kinks

As you enter Momo and Nayeon’s dorm, you look at the living room right in front of you. Momo walks you in and sits on the couch.

“Nayeon is busy today.” Momo said.

“Jihyo must have told you, didn’t she?"

“She did, sort of.” Momo gets up to grab a bottle of coconut water for you.

You look at her while she’s in the kitchen, opening the fridge. She’s wearing comfortable clothes with her hair done.

“Since Nayeon is out, we have all the time in here. Let me go change first.”

“Okay, Momo.”

You watch the TV as she opens her bedroom. Momo comes out wearing sexy lingerie that surprises you. Stunned as you are, she catwalks right in front of you. Your thoughts begin to run wild.

“Like the view?” Momo said.

“I-I do.”

“Touch me.” You slowly reach for her hips until she slaps your hand. “Do not touch.” Momo giggles after.

“Oh, you’re going to tease me until I can’t hold back? This is easy, Momo.”

“Oppa, don’t be so cocky.”

“We can do this all day, Momo.”

“I know you want me.” Momo teased you.

“I could say the same thing, Momo.”

You decide to tease her, wanting her to surrender to her own games. Momo sits right beside you, shoulder to shoulder, as she leans her head on you. She gets on her phone, scrolling through the internet while you patiently wait for Momo.

“You know you can check me out, right?"

“I know, Momo."

“I’ll order some pork to eat with you, but you have to get the food when they deliver it."

“Understood.” Her tits are amazing as you begin checking her out to your desires from head to toe, gulping secretly as Momo doesn't pay attention but knows you're looking at her.

You sit quietly, waiting until Momo can’t hold back. It becomes a mind game at this point, as you have all the time to make her surrender. She mashes her tits onto your shoulder, trying to get you turned on—you were, in fact, but being mentally patient is in your hands.

“The food is here; may you go grab it, please?” Momo pleaded. You stand up without a word and grab the food, coming back to sit by Momo. She opens the bag and places the food on the table. “Dig in; it’s my treat.”

You open the lids and hand Momo a fork; she stabs the rice cake, tapping your shoulders, and you look at her. Momo sucks on the rice cake, trying to make you lose your sanity and fuck her. You smile at her playfully with a gentle chuckle.

“Momo, I have all day.” You teased her and took off your shirt.

“You look slim when you wear a shirt but have some muscles.” Momo complimented your physique.

“Not much anymore.”

“I bet it’s enough for a threesome.” Momo teased you.

“Momo, don’t get any ideas."

“Is that a bullet wound?” Momo pointed near the back of your shoulders.

“It is; let’s not talk about it."

“Tell me.” 

“No.”

“You’re boring.” 

“Thanks.” You teased Momo.

“Stop being funny and fuck me already. Don’t you want to be inside me?"

“Surrender to your own game, Miss Hirai Momo.”

“No.” She picks up a slice of pork belly.

“I have all day.” You whispered in her ear and took a slice of pork belly to eat.

“Oppa, I bet you caught me checking you out when you started working for us. Even before all of this started happening.”

“It was very noticeable.”

She’s fighting her urge at this point, knowing you aren’t backing down as the pace of her heartbeat rises. You are hard already, but have enough discipline to not let hell break loose. After several minutes, the food on the table was finished. She gets up and throws the utensils away. You stare at her toned back, down to her thighs and ass. You’re amazed at her body; she's meaty and most definitely someone you would use your kinks on. She walks back, takes her bra off, and gives you a view of her tits.

“This should work on you; I know you want to touch my big tits."

“I do.” 

“Touch me.” 

“I know you’re going to shrug me off again, Momo."

“Okay, fine. I can’t take it anymore; you win. Let’s just fuck.” She takes off her panties and gets on top of you.

“Do not touch me, Momo.” You decide to tease her and grab her hands.

“Please?” 

“How bad do you want it, Momo?"

“Oppa….” Momo puts her hands together like a prayer. “Please?”

You don’t answer her and let Momo do what she wants. Momo holds onto your face, kissing you passionately as she starts to grind slowly. You get up with her legs wrapped around you and pin her to the wall near her bedroom. Momo’s tits are mashed onto your chest as she keeps kissing you.

“I love your body, Momo.”

“I know you do.”

“Get off and let me put it in, Momo."

Momo gets off, and you pull her panties down, throw her lingerie back on the couch, and insert your finger inside her. She groans loudly in surprise as you reach deep into her walls. You pull your finger out and give her a quick taste.

“You can call me anytime. Let’s fulfill our fantasies together.” Momo pleaded. 

You take off your pants and boxers, slowly teasing her folds with your tip, then insert your cock inside her. Momo squeals and moans softly as you thrust her while she spreads her legs.

“I love how deep you go into my pussy."

“You’re tight and so fucking wet already, Momo.” You penetrate her walls harder and choke her lightly. She arches her back, her head tilting more towards the wall. A small smile is seen on her face while she’s being choked. You grab onto her tits, squeezing them hard until they leave a print as you thrust slowly and deeply inside Momo. “You rather go to the bed or fuck right on this wall?”

“Fuck me here.” Momo said. 

“Bend over on the wall for me, Momo.” You pull out of her, and she turns around to give you a view of her ass. You give them a firm slap, gripping them from side to side. Momo groans as you caress and grope her. You insert your cock back in Momo as she arches more with her cheeks and hair against the wall. You penetrate her harder and pull her hair back. Momo clenches her teeth, taking your hard cock that’s giving her pain and pleasure.

All you hear are her moans and groans from being penetrated. Momo’s ass bounces each time your pelvis collides with her amazing body. You arch closer to her and grab onto her tits to make her stand up while you keep thrusting. You trace your fingers along her body with one hand and onto her neck, choking her slightly harder as you squeeze her firm tits with your other hand. The room becomes louder with a deeper tone of bodies colliding.

“Your body is perfect to fuck, Momo."

“It’s all yours…either way.” She said as she fought her groans to speak. Her voice was husky from you choking her neck. “Let me give you a special performance after your turn is over."

“I want to cum inside you first, Momo."

“I’ll make you cum again and again after this too."

“I love your confidence, Momo. It turns me so on to hear it while you’re naked."

“Fuck!” Momo yelled. 

“Cum for me, Momo. I know you want to.” You thrust her harder as her ass becomes mashed onto your pelvis. You glide your hand from her tits down to her clit, vigorously rubbing them in circles as she squirms. The room becomes louder, like a deep clap, consistently while you aggressively thrust her to your desires. Momo yells in a different pitch, clenching her teeth, and her eyes become shut. You push her to the wall gently with her cheeks mashed as she opens her mouth. She's breathing harder with her hair all messed up, clenching her teeth once again as she takes all the penetration.

Momo grabs onto your hand that’s rubbing her clit, squeezing tight as she starts to cum hard. She groans loudly, squealing next with her body all tense up and her feet curling into the floor. Her body pushes you, jerking and squirming hard as she’s still cumming. You feel how tight her walls get; thrusting harder is your only option as they become tighter. Her walls get you to your limit, pulsating violently, and you erupt inside her while she gasps for air. You release the pressure from her neck and hold onto her hips while her body is pinned to the wall.

“Momo." You took deep breaths.

“It was amazing. You came so hard."

“You did too, Momo. You’re amazing.” 

“Let’s take a break and drink the coconut water that we forgot about.” Momo laughed. You pull out of her, and thick cum oozes out quickly and onto the floor like a puddle. She squats down, scooping the top layer of cum and giving it a taste. “It tastes so good."

“Jihyo loved it too."

“I bet we all will. It’s like a prize after a hard fuck. Let’s sit on the couch.”

You walk to the couch with Momo and chug down the coconut water. Momo quickly gets on top of you, jerking you off again to get you hard. You stare at Momo; she’s giving you a seductive smile with a confident glare.

“No rest? You’re so horny, Momo.”

“I’m going to make you cum harder. I don’t care how quick it is; I’m going to keep riding.” She spits on your cock after. “You’re all mine until I get off."

“Okay, I’m sorry for teasing you when you had your clothes on.”

“It’s too late, Oppa; it’s too late.” She whispered in your ear. She inserts your cock inside as you both exchange groans again. Momo rides you slowly, planning to catch you off guard as she keeps the slow pace. You play with her tits, circling them and slapping lightly. You see a smirk in her smile as you both look at each other. She giggles after and squats on the couch. Momo picks up the pace as you squeeze her tits harder. She holds onto your shoulder, riding you aggressively, yet it’s so smooth like a wave. You groan harder and louder, closing your eyes while she's staring you down.

“Fuck, Momo!” 

“Cum if you can’t hold back. We aren’t done."

You remain in a trap, forgetting you can get her off without a problem, but she’s riding you so smoothly to the point of feeling paradise. You try to grab onto her tits, and Momo gets a hold of your hands, holding them to pin you down. She knows you enjoy this as she keeps her dominance. You breathe heavily, gasping as she gives you a soft, seductive chuckle.

“Fuck, you’re going to make me cum, Momo."

“Cum for me."

She rides you deeper, satisfying herself to see you getting exhausted quickly. There was no holding back, you erupt inside her and tilt your head back. She doesn’t stop, only wanting more to see you become weak to her riding you. She chuckles and places your hand on her tits to grab onto. You couldn’t lift your head up to see her; your head becomes heavy to even move due to her talent for riding.

“I finally get to see the weak side of you.” Momo teased you.

“You-”

“Want me to slow down?” You couldn’t respond as she kept riding. You breathe harder, trying to catch your breath. Momo doesn’t let you relax and keeps her pace to make you cum again. “I guess it’s a no."

You squeeze her tits as hard as possible, and she moans erotically at your aggression. She picks up the pace with riding and grinding on your cock. You can tell she’s not even tired from all her work, as she somehow keeps going. She lifts your head up and looks at each other. Her hair becomes more messy with stands glued to her opened mouth. She arches towards you to make out passionately, exchanging breaths while her ass collides with your pelvis.

You get to your limit after several minutes, exhausted at this point with your cock pulsating for another round of cum inside her pussy. 

“Momo, I’m-” You erupt hard inside her as your body tenses up. She pauses deep on your cock, letting all the cum flood her walls as Momo moans from feeling you erupt inside her. She aggressively makes out with you. Suddenly, Nayeon opens the door without you and Momo knowing. Nayeon screams at the sudden appearance of you and Momo fucking on the couch. You both stare at Nayeon in silence.

“Na-” You couldn’t finish your word in surprise.

“Oops, we got caught, Oppa.” Momo said. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Momo?" Nayeon said. 

“I thought you’d be back in two hours."

“I never said it would take two hours.” Nayeon said in a displeased tone. 

You sit there quietly with your cock still inside Momo and your hands on her tits. Nayeon goes to her room and closes the door. You try to get Momo off, but she doesn’t budge.

“Momo, I should go say sorry to her."

“Let her be until she cools down. How was my performance?"

“I-It was great, Momo. You got me there."

“Did it feel good?” She gives you a hug as her tits glue to your face. “Don’t pull out yet. Let’s rest for a bit."

“If it wasn’t good, then I wouldn’t have cum inside you two times while you were riding me."

“I’m glad you loved it. I did too.” She caresses your nape.

You both sit in silence, with you exploring her tits, kissing and nibbling them passionately as time goes by. She gives you more space, letting you check her body out.

“Can I feel your body for a bit more?"

“Of course.” She looks at you while you caress every part of her body. She happily smiles just seeing how gentle you can be without a wild time together. “Can we fuck gently and passionately next time?"

“We can. I want to see how passionate you can be, Momo."

“Is that how it went with Jihyo?” Momo gets off with more cum oozing out and sucks you off slowly with her tongue licking the underside of your cock.

“Yeah, we both had a good time. Can I go apologize to Nayeon now?"

“Yeah, sorry for making us get caught.” Momo kisses your cock. “Go to her; I’ll lick the tasty cum off myself."

“It’s okay, Momo. We had a good time either way.” You walk to Nayeon after dressing and knock on her door.

“Yes?” Nayeon said. 

“I’m sorry for disturbing you, Nayeon."

“It’s okay, Oppa; I didn’t expect to see it right on the couch. Next time, just do it at your house if you can with Momo."

“I will, Nayeon. See you next time."

“Alright, see you."

You walk back to Momo as she puts on her clothes in her room. “I’ll head out now, Momo."

“I guess; see ya.” She walks you to the door, and you head back home. While you’re going home, Momo walks to Nayeon’s room with a small sample of your cum to give Nayeon a taste.

“Taste it; it’s good.”

Nayeon looks at Momo with disgust. “Um, fine.” 

"Good, isn’t it?” Momo curiously asked. "I told you he’d be great at this. It was my idea in the first place.”