#Not A Schnee (OOC)

[kaelidascope]

You're A Hot Mess Chapter 1 is LIVE

**SHAKES TOXIC BAG OF DOGGY TREATS**

Oh boy here comes that shiny new toxic AU I warned everyone about

MIND THE TAGS FOLKS IT'S WRITTEN OOC ON PURPOSE!

This fic is a fucking dumpster fire, I'm not gonna sugar coat it. If you get mad at mischaracterization, trust me on this one and move along. This is my self indulgent trash AU it's not gonna be accurate or good by any means but I mean hey if you like drama, smut, and cliffhangers then COME GET YOUR RANCID BAD HABIT BEES <33

Also this isn't the only thing I'll be tossing up today so keep an eye out c:

[arc-knights]

|| gee maybe he'll even save your life -

[ein-schnee-sturm]

How Do You Need To Be Touched?

Winter —

Cautiously

Your teeth are bared, as they have been, your jaw aching for so long as growls slip free. you always have to defend yourself. you lash out in fear. you need someone who does not shrink back... a hand falling slowly to your shoulder, however briefly, in a reminder that you do not have to lunge. there is no danger here, now.

Weiss —

Fervently

You crave a hug that cracks your ribs... the feeling of your wandering soul being crushed back into the bones that can't seem to hold it. you need a hand gripping yours so tightly you almost fear it may leave a bruise, a reminder that you are here. and that you are not alone.

Whitley —

Gently

You need to be held as though you're going to break. you need someone to trace your scars like cracks in a wall, crumbling. their touch is almost painful; you've been without it for too long, without someone to hold you. but, you cannot bring yourself to pull away.

Willow —

Gently

You need to be held as though you're going to break. you need someone to trace your scars like cracks in a wall, crumbling. their touch is almost painful; you've been without it for too long, without someone to hold you. but, you cannot bring yourself to pull away.

Wilhelmine —

Fervently

You crave a hug that cracks your ribs... the feeling of your wandering soul being crushed back into the bones that can't seem to hold it. you need a hand gripping yours so tightly you almost fear it may leave a bruise, a reminder that you are here. and that you are not alone.

Tagged by: The awesome @jocundcompany.

Tagging: Steal it. All sales final.

[penny-the-pissed-poltergeist]

THE PENNY IS DEAD

Penny: "humming to red like roses" It is a very good day to be not dead!

Jaune: "BANG" YOU ARE DEAD

Penny: "drops a book called how 2 die" I AM DEAD

Jaune: hehehehehehehe "sees Ruby approaching" ohhhh shit "flings the glock he used behind himself"

Ruby: "Humming to friend" AH, Penny is DEAD

Penny: yes, I AM DEAD

Ruby: Why is Penny dead? This is like the fourth time...

Jaune: IDK

Penny: I think it was-

Ruby and Jaune: SHHH, you are DEAD

Penny: ok "has a collision error with the ground"

Weiss: hey wankers who's up for a good- what in the Bloody hell just happened?

Jaune and Ruby lazily: Penny is dead

Weiss: Penny is dead?

Ruby: CORRECT!

Weiss: WOO HOO :D

Ruby: so, did you see the murderer?

Weiss and Jaune: No

Ruby: "Slams hand table" I will FIND them, I will CAPTURE them, and NO ONE will EVER die again

"Round of applause from everyone"

Winter: attention, PENNY IS DEAD

Weiss, Ruby and Jaune: We know...

Winter: Who killed her?

Weiss, Ruby and Jaune: We don't know...

Winter: I will fine CLUES 'SNIFFSNIFFSNIFFSNIFFSNIFF" what's that, a weapon, This thing is why Penny is DEAD

Everyone else: PENNY IS DEAD!!!!!

Winter: Yes, SHE DIED

Everyone else: "Shock and horror"

"Winter gets run over by Neo driving an ambulance, Neo then hops out of the ambulance"

"Neo then gives Penny tree tea"

Penny (ascending): HAHAHAHA "fucking explodes"

Neo, signing: in my personal opinion, PENNY IS DEAD

Weiss: doc, what happened?

Neo, signing: in my professional opinion, Penny was KILLED

Weiss: Oh Brothers...

"everyone begins discussing"

Neo, signing: i don't think it's anything to worry about

Weiss: Now what...

Yang: clippity clop motherfuckers

Ruby: Oh come on...

Yang: look at this, Penny is freaking DEAD...... What do you think of that? uh...

Ruby: Yes yes, Yang?

Yang: what?

Ruby: GO HOME

"Blake waves to Yang from BMBLB"

Yang: Ah come ON, "Gets on BMBLB" un freaking believable, seriously you guys all su- "Blake crashes BMBLB"

Ruby: Okay, let's get back to THE POINT!

Penny: i think Penny is dead.

Everyone else: PENNY IS DEAD

"Neo runs to the Bees"

Neo, thinking: YANG I CAN ASCEND YOU! "gets caught in the fire and fucking dies"

Penny: SERIOUSLY WHO KILLED PENNY!

Pyhrra: "drinking maple syrup straight from the bottle" IT WAS ME

Everyone else: HUH

Pyhrra: 'Shoves an entire syrup bottle down her throat" I DID IT LIKE THIS "Pulls out Miló and blows Weiss's brains out"

Everyone else: "Shock and horror"

Pyhrra: "drinks even more syrup" that was a joke lads

Everyone else: "ear splitting laughter"

Pyhrra: "drinks even more even more syrup" it was y- "burp" HIM

Jaune: HUH, how did you know

Pyhrra: "drinks syrup" i didn't "EXTREMELY LOAD BURP" that was a joke too "begins chugging another syrup bottle"

Jaune: HAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHHAHHAHAHAH

"Pyhrra dies from syruphol poising"

Jaune: THAT'S RIGHT, IT WAS ME

Ruby: You monster!

Penny: BUT WHYYYYYYYYY!!!

Jaune: Cause your dumb Girl, and annoying

Penny: JAUNE STOP

Jaune: so, very, very annoying

Penny: JAUNE YOU ARE SO MEAN, JAUNE

Jaune: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT PENNY FUCK OFF, YOU ARE DEAD

Penny: NO U POW

"Jaune get lazered into oblivion"

Penny: HA HA, YOU ARE DEAD! not big surprise.

Ruby: well that was idiotic, of to go hang myself, WATCH AND LEAR- "hangs self on cape"

Penny: i am alive.... is nice

yes this is stupid

[reashot]

RWBY Politically Incorrect podcast

(Disclaimer: This is just for fun. Please don't come to my house and threaten to kill my family. Again.)

Episode: 02. Gun Control. And how we should learn to love and accept the blood bath.

Yang: Welcome dear listener for another episode of Team RWBY's Podcast. I'm your host Yang.

Ruby: And I'm also your host Ruby Rose.

Blake: I'm Blake. I'll also be your host for today.

Weiss: And I'm Weiss. Same.

Yang: Today will be a talking about a terrible, terrible tragedy that just happened. There's been a shooting.... At a kindergarten. By a 6 years old. Over 50 people confirmed dead. Mostly little children. The reason for the high number of fatalities is because the police were too scared to go in until they get their tank support. Now let us do the traditional do nothing ritual whenever this sort of thing happens.

Ruby: Thoughts & Prayers...

Weiss: Thoughts & Prayers...

Blake: Thoughts & Prayers...

Yang: Thots & Brazzers... Now let's milk this tragedy for what it's worth! I mean... Let's talk about this tragedy and how we as a society can try to prevent such a thing from happening. Of course before we can begin we need to talk about our sponsor.

This episode is brought to you by ladyscape. Whether you're a human or a faunus. Ladyscape have everything you need to maintain your "bush" Or "fur" to make sure you look presentable for that special someone. Whether you're a Sigma (Fe)male like me or soft & delicate like my little sister. Ladyscape got you covered. And if you entered the special code TEAMRWBY. That's all caps and no space. You will received 30% off on your online purchase. So what are you waiting for go ahead and order it right now. And I'm saying this as a fellow user. And now back to your regularly scheduled show.

Let's talk about Gun Control and why it's morally wrong not to arm every little children in the country.

Blake: What!? That's a stupid idea Yang!!!

Weiss: Of course the SJW would find the idea of arming children detestable. I think arming kid is a great idea. How else are they supposed to be soldiers in the future?

Blake: That's an extremely messed up reasoning Weiss.

Ruby: I'll tell you what's messed up Blake. 6 years old not having a chance to defend themselves with fully automatic weapons!

Blake: Ruby. Do you even listen to yourself?!

Yang: I agree with Blake here...

Blake: Finally...

Yang: How would even a 6 years old handle the recoil of a fully automatic weapons. Shouldn't we start small with a .22 LR first?

Blake: Are you kidding me!!!

You can call in (comment) on their podcast to ask them any questions you want.

The poll are just for the order they will appear.

[teamlarl]

Dress to Impress - Willow

In case you were wondering where I've been for the past few weeks, I've been learning how to use Blender.

Follow my (mostly NSFW) exploits on the twitter I made for this

[skidqrow]

🌜- For a ‘weird’ habit or tic that no one knows about

💃- For a talent that they like to keep hidden from others

🐇- For a secret item they keep (stuffed animal, comfort object, etc)

SPILLING SECRETS || ACCEPTING

Weird Tic - When Qrow is anxious, he uses his thumb to spin the rings on his hand. He's not even aware that he does this.

Hidden Talent - A rather plain talent, but Qrow is actually very good at gardening. He's physically fit, used to digging ditches, and likes growing things. And aside from regular maintenance, he doesn't have to be near the plants for long, so his Semblance rarely kicks in harshly enough to kill his crops. The garden in his home has become overrun with rose bushes and weeds since Summer's disappearance.

Secret Item - Not counting his flask, Qrow keeps 3 secret items: his and Summer's wedding bands and Ruby's first stuffed toy, an Ursa. The rings he wears frequently and the toy is on his bedside nightstand. He doesn't leave home without the toy.

[rosavulpes]

Have Blake talk about 💚 (friends / family members), AND/OR 👑 (role models / mentors)

( Make my muse talk about one of their _ )

" You ... want to know more of the people that I consider to be my mentors ? "

There's a bit of hesitation as he speaks , coupled with a bit of physical effort too as he finishes his most recent pull up over the bar , even though Blake knew that he'd just heard Winter correctly . Given that he has four ears , human , and feline ? There was little chance of Blake misunderstanding her . Though he's still reiterates her question back to her all the same . His hesitation stemming from the personal nature of her question . Releasing his grip on the elongated steel handle bar situated above him that he'd been using for pull ups . He'd drop down a few feet , landing softly , and soon after reaching for a nearby towel that he'd set aside for himself earlier on before he'd first begun to work on his upper body strength .

While he still thought of Winter Schnee as his rival , he could tell that the reasoning behind her question was sincere . Besides , he couldn't blame her for her curiosity as there existed a bit of intrigue on his end too as to what motivated Winter to do the things she did . To fight as hard as she did .

" When I think of the people that motivate me to be better than I was yesterday , I think of the people I know that face challenges much more difficult than I do every single day . Though you've already met one of them , as has every other student here at the Academy . As for the other two ? they aren't world renowned heroes of the Great War , or Hunters at that but ... the battles , the enemies that they fight ? Are much stronger than that of any Grimm "

Wiping his face to clean himself of the sweat that had rolled down from his neck to his chest , from his shoulders to his biceps . He'd reach for a nearby water bottle from his backpack .

" As many other people here do , I respect General James Ironwood for the great many things that he's done for the benefit of everyone here in Atlas . But for me ? I think of him as a mentor , not because of his achievements past , or current . I think of him as a mentor because he's helped to guide my footsteps towards my dream . Each day spent here training , learning at the Academy , and shadowing him like you do too is just another step forwards . Thanks to him ? I'm one step closer everyday . Not only that , he has a strength to him that can't be achieved with just hard training alone . When people see him ? His presence , his voice alone is enough to ease the fear in their hearts . I've seen it myself . He brings hope with him wherever it is that he goes , just as he's given it to me . That strength ... the power to help not only yourself , but others overcome the fear in their own hearts ? That's the power I covet most from him , and it's a battle that he fights daily . And one day ? It'll be my power too ... my fight to take up "

Stretching out the length of his ebony tail at his back , his feline ears flicked as he tilted his head backwards .Taking a long sip on his water before closing the cap , and setting it back down on the floor .

" As for the other two ? Well , they'd be my mother and father without a doubt . Even though they've long since left Atlas for a better home , they've had to fight grueling battles long before I was born . A fight all of us faunus endure everyday . The war against hatred . My father is a kind man , who detests violence . So as I grew up , I watched him try , and try again to turn the minds of people who rejected him , me , my mother , and the rest of our group as we traveled from one place to the other . Despite everything he's seen , been called , or endured both verbally , and physically he'd still hopeful of a better future . Not one where faunus rule over humans , or get vengeance on them . One where we all stand as equals . He fights against hatred , and still fights it now to help others overcome it as he had . For so long , I've thought of what I might be able to do . How do I combat it ? Like fear , it's an invisible enemy . It's already invaded so many , and can rise at a moment's notice . You can't fight it with your hands , or your body . You can't even touch it . So how am I supposed to fight it ? Thanks to the them , and the General ? I found my own means of facing it "

Letting out a sigh , not because he was exhausted of the conversation but more so because he was internally building back up his focus to continue his training . Bending his knees slightly , Blake would leap back up to grab the handle bar above him again . Though , before he'd resume , he would leave Winter with one final answer .

" I'm going to get back to my training now , but there is something I want you to know Winter . I think of you as a rival , but I don't hold any feelings of hatred or contempt towards you . I consider you to be my rival , because I respect you . I respect your determination , your strength , and your force of will . Whatever dream it is that your chasing after , you can count on me to put you to the test anytime you need it . If you ever start to stray from it , you can count on me to not pull my punches with you . Just as I expect you to do the same with me . I'll come at you with everything I've got "

With that ? Blake would resume his training in earnest once more .

[unofficialadamtaurus]

Is this the first time Adam has begged in all of your stories?

I find interesting Weiss has enough empathy to understand she is essencially torturing Adam, but in front of a figure of power (Winter) she still does it because she was told to. Same with Winter, she disapproves Jacques' actions, yet she commits cruel acts (even though in her eyes Adam is a brutal killer). It seems she is helping only to get rip of the problems Adam's presence is causing.

I think it is the first time he's ever begged, yeah. Wild to think about, and it goes to show just how fucked up his situation is. Suffice to say that his soul being splintered into fragments and then cast into the void did not do wonders for his mental health.

Winter does want to help Weiss, but you're right in reading her primary motivation as mitigating the damage to Atlas's reputation. Her protectiveness of Weiss and hatred of Adam blind her a bit to the all-around terribleness of the situation for everyone involved.

[pxnnypolxndina]

Penny: "I think we're missing something."

Whitley: "Teamwork?"

Oscar: "Cohesion?"

Ruby: "A general sense of what we’re doing?"

[eiiskonigin-a]

/ shouts from the abyss I'M NOT DEAD

I am however back in Canada again and am definitely down at being home. The depression is settling in slowly and deeply, but I'm gonna do my best to just throw myself into other things to keep my sanity in check.

But yeah I am alive!

Oh, and also engaged.

[arc-knights]

|| he was told no candy for her , he didn't question it . sorry weiss

[ein-schnee-sturm]

((Another old favorite. Unlike Weiss, disarming Winter will NOT save you. LINK.))

[bcdwclves]

tfw most of ur rich muses are vehicles for incest.

[candlewick-corporation]

Just realized I'm speedrunning adopting as many traumatized kids in any way I can.

[ein-schnee-sturm]

@skidqrow

Commission for Exciting_Bandicoot16! Would love to see this interaction in canon!