#Not 2 b mean but in this whole part it's very obvious that he's 20 and she's 26 lol Tumblr posts

[nerosdayinanime]

Responding here to ur tag response to my question on this post so i dont clog up your notes over there 😅

That concept is so cool!! Can you tell me more about the dynamics? (Like what are the specific differences that made you classify Sabito as alpha prime instead of just alpha?)

When you say the Primes effect more and are effected more than the others what exactly do you mean?

Do you become a Prime when you take on a certain roll in your pack or is it just a option during the initial presenting event?

Are Primes like a subsection of their dynamic or are they a whole new one? (3 broad dynamics society vs 5 specific dynamics society)

How does everybody being abo (and Sabito being alive) effect their relationships with each other in this AU compared to canon?

And lastly, what are everybody's designations in this au? 👀

I kinda got carried away with the questions whoops

ok important distinction to get out of the way first- i see a/b/o as terms to describe phenomena, not strict definitions people fall into. i dont like omegaverse things like that bc 1 i love biology & speculative evolution and through that lens it makes absolutely 0 fucking sense to me and 2 i dont like omegaverse basically being reduced to sexism 2.0 with submissive feminine omegas, dominant masculine alphas, and boring betas.

i completely understand and see the appeal in traditional a/b/o but i also think its severely limiting

to answer your questions off the bat:

sabito as an alpha prime mostly just bc i really really like giving him big/visible fangs and that influenced some worldbuilding choices lmao

imagine having ur senses turned up 200%. theyre just as affected by a drop of pheromones as normal dynamics are a litre. theyre way more sensitive to others' and their own is far more potent

theres no 'presenting event' either you stay not very reactive to pheromones(beta) you start reacting to pheromones normally(alpha/omega) or you start to be fuck-off sensitive to pheromones(a/o prime) (ppl dont choose or get assigned a secondary dynamic its just something that Happens and a/b/o are terms used to describe wide trends)

its still 3 broad dynamics, primes are considered a sub-category/more specific variant of alpha/omega

mmm, id say overall theyre pretty much the same? rengokus & mitsuri are closer-knit, tengen and them kinda make a trio, sabito's almost part of the mini-group(The Loud Ones)- sanemi and obanai still dislike giyuu, now its got an added 'omega has his alpha wrapped around his finger and makes him do the dirty work instead' bc he never bothers to defend himself from them so sabito steps up and tells them to fuck off- then theres the obvious kamado situation. sabito's neutral abt them after he gets over his initial anger but cmon. its tanjiro. youre not staying neutral for long. giyuu more protective of them from the get-go

theres only a few ppls who are set in stone lmao- sakonji-alpha sabito-APrime giyuu-omega tanjiro-OPrime nezuko-N/A sanemi-beta obanai-beta mitsuri-OPrime kyojuro-alpha

my version of a/b/o

secondary dynamics arent dependent on sex, theyre two separate spectrums and secondary dynamics are Secondary

secondary dynamics start to develop with puberty, not really finished until somewhere in 20s

you cant tell what someone's secondary dynamic will be until it starts to present

betas are the hardest to tell bc sometimes ppl are just late bloomers, late20s-30s and they still dont react to scents very strongly or havent had a heat/rut theyre probably a beta

[shitty doodle of the parabola graphic- up-down is omega/alpha left-right is not sensitive-very sensitive]

betas still smell scents but arent sensitive to pheromones and their own arent very strong either, some can have mini-heats or ruts. overall if theyre not very reactive to scents and they dont have noticeable fangs or any changes to their reproductive organs theyre considered a beta

alphas and omegas have stronger scents (a beta would need to be actively projecting their scent to be on the same level as alpha/omega's baseline) and are sensitive to pheromones.

secondary dynamics influence sex but are not influenced by sex; males who are omegas can develop female reproductive systems and females who are alphas can develop male reproductive systems. this results in tons of possible combinations, though not everything /works/ since they'd need the matching internal & external parts to actually reproduce.

with male omegas/female alphas; commonly, either the secondary reproductive system doesnt develop at all or the secondary external develops alongside the original*. less commonly the secondary external develops and the original internals swap to the secondary. very rarely the secondary will fuck up the original internals and make someone sterile. very VERY rarely will someone develop both original and secondary reproductive systems that are fully functional

main biggest difference between alphas and omegas is mostly in whether they have a heat(& nest) or a rut(& claim territory)

heats typically start off with some warning signs before the actual heat kicks in(preheat) omegas will start to be clingy and seek safety/closeness with their pack for a few days, along with starting to give off a heat scent. omegas usually dont smell their own heat scent until its already pretty strong(closer to heat) so others around them usually notice the scent first. heat hits with a full body fever for a day or two, its extremely uncomfortable and usually omegas drop out of coherency. behind the scenes all kinds of reward chemicals and other important stuff in the brain are thrown way out of wack- no one really notices that tho bc theyre usually blearily rolling around suffering through a mind-numbing fever. after it abates theyre left with the still fucky brain balance and dont really get back all the coherency they lost from the fever, still a little out of it for the whole duration of heat. theyre more sensitive to changes in their emotions and more sensitive to physical contact, heats in their usual state are non-sexual and an omega simply seeks security affection and comfort from their pack. excessively negative emotions caused by lack of security or comfort can cause an omega to be extremely panicky/depressive/aggressive (borderline feral) and its not fun for anyone involved. the omega going through it is overrun with negative thoughts/feelings/emotions and the scent of an omega going through a disruptive heat is especially nauseating & discomforting to anyone around (an intense need to Fix It and make the omega feel better). on the flip-side, omegas being more sensitive to emotion and physical contact can lead to a state of near constant euphoria/ecstasy in sexual heats between mates (the more traditional version of heat)

omegas will go into heat in the presence of another omega's heat if they are emotionally connected (family, pack, friends, etc) and an omega's heat can cause an alpha to start their rut (& vice-versa ruts causing heats)

ruts cause a similar fucky brain balance but not nearly to the same degree as heats, alphas will seek out affection and their instinct to protect is sent into absolute overdrive. mother hen x500. it causes them to be a lot more agitated which leads to more aggression bc more things are seen as a threat.

sexual ruts with mates sends their instinct to make sure the other IS and feels safe/good into overdrive and They Will Not Leave Their Mate

nesting is the usual find soft things make comfy/safe bed/area for pack and is extremely personal/fiercely defended from those who its not meant for; claiming territory is a wider application of 'make area feel comfy/safe for pack' alphas will patrol or steak out vantage points of their selected territory, like omegas they also dont take kindly to intruders**

alphas are built a bit more for power and tend to be offensive/face confrontation head-on(make opponent lose ground, get threats as far away from my pack as possible); while omegas are built a bit more for speed/agility and tend to be defensive/run loops around confrontations(dont let opponent gain any ground, keep threats from getting any closer to my pack) its not solid evidence when trying to tell someone's dynamic off it alone because people's natural variation is so wide and people's experiences can change how theyd react to stress and such so its usually ignored but trends Can be seen

*giyuu's like that male omega has both parts externally but no uterus so. no mpreg for him</3

**it can be kinda subtle sometimes, one example ive posted is sabito physically situating himself so hes between his pack(giyuu/tanjiro/nezuko) and the threat (sanemi/rest of the hashira)

i think thats everything? feel free 2 ask for clarification if i fucked up explaining or missed something

[thesinglesjukebox]

ADDISON RAE - "I GOT IT BAD"

Next up, Oliver brings us a star who rose to fame from the unlikely medium of (checks notes)... TikTok!

[5.28]

Brad Shoup: This is so Swedish it hurts. It sounds like a 2020s producer trying to make a 2000s hit using a 1980s suggestiveness. It's uncanny. I like it. [6]

Oliver Maier: Some obvious Britneyisms at play here: the punctuative orchestra hits, the B-chorus near the end and the siren at the very beginning, as if Rae is literally sounding the alarm about this dangerous boy. She's blowing bubblegum on the EP cover; the genre influence is not subtle. It works though, in part because Rae winks at the camera just the right amount. There's levity when she sings "He looks like the boy next door from my boyband poster," stacking two outdated pop culture tropes on top of each other and almost rendering the whole thing pointless, but she never prods hard enough it to collapse into pastiche. The horned-up glee of a line like "It's definitely something that could ruin my life" would have been subtext about 20 years ago, but now that's just a thing we invite people to do (incidentally, the track after this one on the EP is called "2 Die 4"). There's plenty else to enjoy in the lyrics besides all that, like the in media res opening line and the way she sings "He calls on me late at night, and he calls me baby," her voice dripping with pride at earning such an accolade. But the most impressive thing to me about "I Got It Bad" is that it obviously apes a vibe without being overtly, offputtingly cynical, because the the songcraft is fucking there: a glossy, 500-horsepower instrumental where you can barely discern an instrument and a big fat chorus. Delightful stuff. [9]

Frank Falisi: Nominally, the nostalgic urge is anathema to the writing of pop songs; how can something be the most monolithic feeling you've ever felt -- and the only song your head's ever managed -- if you're remembering something else? The pureness of plastic is how it can be melted down to cover old things and if it leaves a tacky taste in the mouth, it's only after the song ends, which is to say, after the pop. You could say that "I Got It Bad" references, however obliquely, a certain millennium-break sound-strand: the production is visible, busy but submissive, never invisible but an apparatus that produces the voice as much as the vocal cords. Even more so, 2002 haunts the way the personal pronoun dominates the territory of the song, from the verse's aspiration to ascension (love or lust, or somewhere on the way) to the divinity of a pre-chorus: "Take off every piece of me/until there's only skin on my body." Who's who? Addison Rae is different from Addison in the same way Britney Spears is different from Britney. The former are screens and their signifiers, the latter the heat bodies give off, intake, machinate. "I" signifies a space between the singer and the listener, a space that only happens in the duration between the start of the sound and its end. Will we ever be able to remember the start of this sound without saying the words "Britney Spears"? Or is that part of the song ending: once the feeling severs, we're left only with the ache. Restart the song or re-find the sound, it's all relative. I got it bad. [8]

Rose Stuart: This song violently throws you back to the 2000s, when every Disney star tried their hand at being a pop diva with lyrics sexy enough to remind you the singer is now a grown woman, but with vocals kept squeaky clean lest some emotion trick you into thinking the singer was actually into it. Everything -- from the beat to Rae's singing -- sounds both awkward and bored, sliding off your brain like an advertisement's first draft. [3]

Vikram Joseph: This is what you've all been hyping? This particular iteration of "You won't believe this but I have bad taste in men!" in a year where we had Olivia Rodrigo? I mean, this is so competently executed and so utterly devoid of personality, I really could not pick this out of a line-up. With a gun to my head to name an interesting thing about this song I'd go for the early Britney cosplay in the delivery of "ruin my li-i-uh-ife", or then again I might just gamble that it wasn't loaded. [3]

Will Rivitz: I've been only partly plugged into Extremely Online pop chatter the last few years, so forgive me if I'm not currently fluent enough in its current morphology to know whether or not this is a silly question: are we serious about Addison Rae? Like, yes, I get that there's been an unceasing stream of SHE ATEs since the EP dropped, and I also get that sometimes we support camp simply for camp's sake, and I also get that some of these people unironically go to bat for Sabrina Carpenter, so please be sympathetic to my inability to parse the semiotics of this past summer. Because the EP is indisputably mid as hell! Every song is a flimsy facsimile of a different recently relevant pop girl, the lyrics read like they were written by an AI trained on Netflix-reject teen romcom scripts, and somehow everything ends up sludging out into Disney's pop bargain bin. "I Got It Bad," naturally, is no different, a forgotten *NSYNC demo spruced up by Kim Petras's producers in which every verse has about five percent too many words and a syllable or two delivered as though Rae only realized two lines didn't rhyme halfway through the second. Rae doesn't have the juice to land tricky constructions like "take off every piece of me/until there's only SKIN on MY boDY" (is your skin not a piece of you? Are you wearing someone else's???) or the pacing to make "definitely something that could ruin my life" sound like she's delivering the words in her 20s. I love oodles of popstars who Do Not Have The Range, but Addison Rae so remarkably Does Not Have The Range that the Not Range is impossible to ignore. What gives! [3]

Will Adams: I have little interest in indulging the "um you guys Addison Rae's music actually kinda slays??" bit as much as it attempts to grab me (look! a Charli feature! an exhumed Gaga demo!). But it's hard to resist the charm of "I Got It Bad". The Max Martinisms are off the charts -- orchestra hits, alternate final chorus, the "it's gonna, gonna gonna" vocal stacking, absolute nonsense lyrics -- and Addison's blankness makes way for all of it to shine. [6]

Anna Katrina Lockwood: A terrific song performed so listlessly that I am absolutely unconvinced that Addison Rae does, indeed, have it bad. [7]

Katherine St Asaph: The arrangement is great: a little freestyle, a little 2010s-era Max Martin electro, a little 2000-era Max Martin staccato stabs and final counterpoint chorus. (It's produced by Rami Yacoub -- close enough.) Everything else is not: Addison Rae's vocal nonpresence, the incompetent lyrics (Addison is credited; I believe it), and a supposedly magnetic crush that makes Taylor Swift's undangerous lovers seem like goddamn incubi. [5]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: "I don't want something right down the middle," Addison Rae shrugs on this middling track. "I Got It Bad" isn't bad, just mediocre with its anonymous pop vision. [4]

Ian Mathers: "Generic" is not necessarily a synonym for "bad." [6]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: It's definitely something. [4]

Kayla Beardslee: First time listening, and I can see why this release made noise: it's a surprisingly good Pop Girl Song from an artist whose TikTok background wasn't guaranteed to translate well to pop music. Of course, once you get past the "oh, it's good" phase, it just sounds like a run-of-the-mill pop single -- nice chorus, but there are a thousand other songs that do the same thing. [6]

Michael Hong: "She's definitely improving," goes the top comment on YouTube and you can definitely see "I Got It Bad" as something in Addison Rae's transitional stage between "Friday" and whatever the hell Rebecca Black is doing right now. [5]

Taylor Alatorre: What does it say about the continued hegemony of the Long 1980s that, even in a song with those signature Max Martin orchestra stabs and a clumsy "boy band poster" line, there's still a perceived need to drench it in a blanket of heady synthwave fog? Like, if we're going to be doing anachronisms like that, can we at least skip to the point in the nostalgia cycle where we can start having gratuitous dubstep interludes in pop songs again? Because the 2:09 mark here would be the perfect place for one. [5]

Nortey Dowuona: The drums in this song sound like they were made by Adam Feeney for the 1986 electro pop pack. BTW, pls check that out, and if you find any drum packs or loops in it, use them better than just looping them at the bottom of the track and not doing anything with them. Who did produce this btw - one of them made "My My My" and another made "Stars"? rage quit blurbing, pls finish with joke about rami youssef is the one true Ramy - [2]

Claire Biddles: Not to sound exactly like a 36 year old who always has to check if the second "T" in "TikTok" has to be capitalised, but I had no idea of the vast lore behind Ms Rae's pop career. "I Got It Bad" has the whiff of a lost golden era of pop that could easily cause commotion in parts of the internet, but it's not specific or muscular enough to carry it past pastiche for me. Still, points for the pitched-up orchestra hits and points for the unexpected body horror of "Take off every piece of me/Until there's only skin on my body." [5]

Alex Ostroff: Your enjoyment of this will entirely boil down to how easy a mark you are for retro Max Martin 1.0 tricks that he's long since moved on from but which his old Cheiron Studios colleagues and his newer students nostalgically wheel out every so often. Addison herself is completely blank and uncompelling -- a delivery mechanism who does nothing to get in the way of the hooks but nothing to sell them either. Some of the lyrics are genuinely terrible in ways reminiscent of the Swedes' early work with Backstreet. "He gives it to me more than a little"? "He got me close, but now it's official"? But "He looks like the boy next door from my boyband poster" is a pop music snake eating its own tail that verges on charming. And then the bridge ends with those gradually stacking *NSYNC vocal harmonies ascending up to pop music heaven, then slides right into a Britney-style B-chorus! None of it is as impeccably constructed as its inspirations. For one thing, Max would have had the B-chorus repeat as a counterpoint harmony under the final reprise à la "...Baby One More Time," "(You Drive Me) Crazy," and "Oops!... I Did It Again". The last time he wrote an alternate chorus without immediately repeating it as a closing harmony was Robyn's "Show Me Love" (and he could have -- try singing it over the final chorus for yourself and you'll see that it marries up just as smoothly as Britney's!). In the hands of a real Pop Star and with a bit more work, this would be excellent. As it is, it's merely a very good pop song performed by someone utterly unable to convince us to make it as massive a hit as it would be in an alternate universe. Which should probably merit a [4] or a [5], but... Your enjoyment of this will entirely boil down to how easy a mark you are for retro Max Martin 1.0 tricks that he's long since moved on from... and unfortunately when it comes to classic era Max Martin pop music tricks, "I knew I should walk away, but I went closer". It's definitely something that could ruin my life... cause I... I got it bad. [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[chronomally]

Prince Dowon: Be my wife

Hae-ryeong: No

Prince Dowon: Then let's elope and I'll be your wife

Hae-ryeong: That is not the problem here

[sundayswiththeilluminati]

The unplanned fourth part to my apparently-a-series on Essek Thelyss in the context of real-world espionage (parts 1, 2, and 3), today we look at an aspect of his story that doesn’t always apply in a D&D world: how do you prosecute espionage? 

Psych! That’s not the real question. The real question is: do you prosecute espionage? The answer is a) not as obvious as it might seem; and b) going to differ between D&D and the real world, because D&D governments are storytelling tools and IRL governments are...not.

The benefits of prosecuting espionage are obvious: the interests of justice are served, the person responsible can be punished appropriately and in accordance with the law, the full extent of their crimes are revealed (including potentially exonerating other suspects), counterintelligence gets to chalk up a win, and other people thinking about committing espionage themselves are hopefully discouraged. But there are a surprising number of arguments in the “against” column.

Some agencies that identify enemy assets want to leave them in place for their own purposes. For about 20 years during the Cold War CIA reserved the right to just plain not tell the Department of Justice if they had proof someone was engaged in espionage because they wanted the opportunity to turn them as double agents, feed them misinformation, etc. rather than outing and punishing them (President Gerald Ford ended this arrangement by executive order in 1976). This isn’t necessarily a good idea IRL, but it forms the bread and butter of RPG espionage storylines and is definitely something to think about in a D&D context.

In the real world, ideally someone can only be found guilty of a crime and punished accordingly after a trial, and an agency often finds itself with sufficient evidence to doubt a person’s trustworthiness but not enough hard proof to take to court. In those cases agencies may decide to leave that person in place but cut off their access to classified info. Ironically, sometimes this means promoting them - moving the person into a higher-ranking job in a different area that just so happens not to deal in secrets. Sometimes the asset realizes they’re close to being rumbled and goes along with the effort, maybe taking retirement early or changing jobs before they can be pushed, and the whole matter will quietly lapse without anything so formal as a trial. Sometimes someone makes a mistake and sidelines a loyal, competent employee. That’s a judgement call.

In the real world, ideally someone can only be found guilty of a crime and punished accordingly after an open trial. Given how severe the punishments are for espionage, civilized countries do try to stick to that even though holding such a trial carries risks. Providing proof that someone stole secrets generally requires talking about said secrets, which means revealing classified info in court, which may negate trying to keep the information secret in the first place. They may also not want to reveal in court how they figured out that person was a spy, especially if it was a double agent or cryptographic source that fingered them. In D&D-land where monarchs are common and still wield judicial power, fantasy rulers may hand down whatever punishment they please based on whatever evidence they (or the DM) will accept, so this isn’t as much of a concern.

Even a D&D monarchy that doesn’t have to worry about revealing secrets in court might think twice before publicly punishing a high-ranking spy, though, because the only thing more embarrassing than failing to convict a major spy is succeeding. A government having to admit that its people were compromised, especially high-ranking people, is a body-blow to its standing both at home and abroad. It damages trust in the government, makes the public feel unsafe, and makes allies hesitant to share information lest their secrets be leaked as well. Lower-ranking government employees may think, “My boss is selling secrets, why not me too?” or “Why bother to follow security protocol when some mole will give it all away?” Every decision and contribution made by the asset becomes retroactively suspect, even those that had nothing to do with whatever secrets they leaked. The foreign nation to whom they passed information inevitably gets drawn in as well, negatively affecting those relations. And of course everyone involved looks very, very bad.

All of which leads me to say I think there’s a chance - maybe not a good chance, but a chance - that Essek could privately confess the affair to the Bright Queen without major public repercussions. Leylas Kryn could simply declare him a traitor and order his public execution without justifying herself, but it would raise a lot of questions and none of the answers would help her or the ruling dens; Den Thelyss allowing Den Kryn to unilaterally execute a high-profile member - a child of the umavi - without explanation would stoke ferocious rumors about what Essek might have done and cast a major shadow over the entire den. But publicly declaring what Essek had done also doesn’t do the Dynasty any favors. It makes everyone involved look very bad - how could they miss a spy at the highest level? so close to the Bright Queen herself?? who can be trusted??? - especially Den Thelyss, which might lose its place among the ruling three as a result. Publicly outing such a high-ranking Kryn official as compromised might set off the Dynasty equivalent of a Red Scare, too, since the Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount mentions the constant and well-justified Dynasty fear of agents sent by Lolth to destabilize the Kryn out of sheer spite that they got away from her.

By the time Campaign 2 ended the latest clash between Empire and Dynasty had been settled and neither side seemed to want to stir it up again right away. The fact that both stolen beacons have been returned also bolsters the case for letting the matter lie. A confession from Essek clears up remaining doubt on the Bright Queen’s end - while he doesn’t know every Empire agent in the Dynasty, he can tell her exactly how the beacons were stolen and who else was involved, probably clearing the names of many currently under suspicion. Essek would have to resign as Shadowhand, of course, and leave the Dynasty (at least for a couple centuries), but he never seemed interested in being Shadowhand and he wants to go exploring anyway. Den Thelyss definitely wants the whole affair swept under the rug and would go along with whatever story made that happen. Other than Verin I don’t get the impression many people would miss Essek except as a lost opportunity. I hope they’d give him long enough before leaving Rosohna to pack up his cool leyline-weathervane though. He could totally mount that on Yussa’s tower. Or Allura’s!

And that concludes this particular train of thought re: Essek Thelyss in the context of IRL spies and espionage. Again, all of this is only as relevant to the campaign as the players decide it is, so don’t go giving people crap for being “unrealistic” about their versions of how the beacon trade went down. Frankly the last thing you should want here is realism, because “realistic” espionage is a callous world of deception, manipulation, and general human pettiness with no sense of narrative flow.

None of what I’ve talked about is an excuse for Essek’s actions. But it is a reason. It’s why and how a person entrusted with precious national assets could get into a headspace where it seems reasonable, even necessary, to trade them away to foreign enemies. It’s how a person of otherwise decent character & beliefs can end up committing terrible crimes. It’s why that person might sincerely regret what they’ve done, and not just because they fear punishment. The Warmind Rasputin paraphrases Octavia E. Butler saying, “Misdirected by accident or intent, intelligence can foster its own ecstasies of growth and decay.” In other words: sometimes you get too far into your own head. Without an anchor to reality, without perspective, your own mind gets twisted up. Sometimes you just need a friend (or seven) to grab your arm and say, “Breathe.”

(This accidentally turned into a series on Essek & IRL espionage: Parts 1, 2, 3, 4)

[the-art-of-animated-gifs]

Interview with my friend A.L. Crego

I have not met A.L. Crego.  I have not spoken with him on the phone, in fact I do not even know what he looks like.  But I can confidently call him my friend.  Three years ago when I started this blog he immediately disagreed with me in the comments about things I was writing and I loved it.  As a person putting ideas out there, you treasure things like that....because you know someone cares.  We have had many back and forth discussions over the years....if we had lived in Paris in 1911 we would be having arguments at La Rotonde (not to compare either of us to Picasso).

A.L. Crego is a motion artist who does a wide variety of things.  He has now become a very visible and active figure in the NFT Movement.  He recently completed a large and very successful project in which he animated the work of a number of well know street artists on the building themselves, something he has done for years.  His Tumblr page is a good place to start to see his work, which is largely surrealist in nature -- another Spanish artist following in the footsteps of other great Spanish surrealist artists.

---------------------------------------------------------------

How long have you been creating gif art?

In a conscious and intentional way since 2014. Previously I haven't pay too much attention on one hand for its common use that was mostly ads and funny little videos, and on the other hand because it was a 'standard' format we accepted as something part of the web so I never stopped to analyze its potential. The key point for me was about 2010-2011 when the concept of 'Cinemagraph' was brought to life just giving it a name. It's format is .gif but its characteristics are different so I saw there the midpoint between photography and video, which gave born another format of art.

Art mutates when a new format appears. I was using and studying this format since then but it wasn't until 2014 that I decided to publish some of them.

What is your background?

In general terms, bachelor, 2 years of stone sculpting and two attempts of photography and audiovisual mediums. I say attempts because I gave up both of them as I was feeling that I was looking for something else more than studying all the previous history, style and isms, which is nice to understand where everything comes from and to be aware what are the key points on the history to use as reference, as a map. But in some way I felt limited as I was using digital tools since I had my first computer with 14 years, and I was being taught things I learnt by then. Even more in this times we are living where we are 21 century people, been taught by teachers from the 20 with 19 century methods.

A constant line that feeds my background is literature and music overall and later Street Art, next to more temporal interests as everything related with mythology, alchemy, history, psychology, neurology, biology, human condition in general... I don't have studies buy I'm a studying guy!

I always like to highlight that all these years that internet got strong and social networks appeared, I decided voluntary to be out of them. First reason was to keep my privacy safe in a growing world where it seemed that some "curtain" felt and everybody accepted that intimacy was now 'ex-timacy' and correct to show their private life, (this shocked me). Another reason was about the psychological effect that social networks were having on people I had around and everywhere in general. I started to notice patterns and "waves" about series, aesthetics, styles, and I was seeing clearly that if I go there, I will become permeable to all this "Amniotic Culture" I was trying to avoid.

This fact of being far (but study them closely) helped me a lot about researching and developing my own ideas and style, for the mere fact that I was using all this time and attention Social Networks require, on drinking from another sources. The B-side of this is that I was 'out of the radar' of mass people as this social networks are designed to live inside them. My idea of internet and spreading ideas is not in this way.

Where do you live and work?

In the north west of Spain, Galicia. Now due to Covid I travel less but before it, I was working and traveling many places as I only need a camera and a computer. This allows me move to work anywhere.

Do you think that animated gifs are a new art form?

I think so, despite the fact that the format existed since 1987. But as every new format of art it takes its time to be considered as art. The first photographs were not considered art until many years later. Same happened with film, same with CGI. Is nice to have in mind that gif format is the last strictly digital format of the three main ones on the web: picture, video and gif. Photography has about 200 years of history, video about 130, CGI about 60. Finally gif has 33, and used as art itself no more than 10-15. In the same way anybody takes a picture of anything does not convert it into art, is the same with gifs. One thing is the format, another is the 'art'. Everybody can take a picture, record a video or do a gif. The difference is on the how, the why, and from my point of view overall, the what.

Do you think that there is a difference between pure .gif files and the .mp4 files that people post on Instagram?

The first, big and obvious difference is the format. Is not the same a painting as a picture of a painting. Here happens the same. For example, if you treat a gif with Cinemagraph technique, you are converting in picture some parts of the image, so they still remain and with the texture and totally stillness of a picture. If you convert this gif into a mp4 this still parts, despite not having motion, will convert into a video texture (noise, subtle motion in pixels, etc) so the main characteristic, among the perfect loop, is lost. Another point is that you must play a video, a gif is always running. Waterfalls are always running and this characteristic is something that is inside our human nature, we react nice to "bucle" motions as waterfalls, fire, etc. We find pleasure on this. Of course if it's a video the perfect loop is lost and the visual mantra disappear. And another key point here is the soundtrack. In a video you can use sound to enhance or give another meaning to the piece that you can't with gifs. For me this is another characteristic that give meaning to gif. For me gif is silence, the sound is generated by the motion, the melody are the details and the beat the perfect loop. You can "hear" almost every gif.

The difference between a gif and a video is the same that between a waterfall and a hose (if this works).

What do you think are the characteristics of good gif art?

For me first and overall the perfect loop. Not using it is not using the only format that has this characteristics. Of course there can be gif art that is not perfect loop, but from my point of view and in my work is a must. It's a new way not only of creating but also of thinking. Imagine an still scene is easy, imagine an A-B point action is easy. For me the challenge is about thinking an idea that is perfect looped where all the elements interact and eventually come back to its initial point. Succeed doing this is where the perfect loop appears and you are not able to find where is the start point of the action. Like a visual mantra, that it's repetition leads you inside the piece. Gif art is nice to use the power of the hypnotic movements. Another point to have in mind for me is the flow of it, the frame rate I mean. Depending on the idea and the kind of animation this should vary; is not the same fps to achieve something with flow than if you want to achieve a more 'retro' old style. Another thing is about dithering and color palette. This second one is essential to understand as it affects the final file. When we work with photo and video we are using millions of colors but when rendered as gifs all the gradients, lights and even colors will change if there is a previous understood of this point.

As summary: If motion doesn't add, change of enhance the meaning of the piece, is expendable.

I'd would like to add that I'm not really supporter of this kind of gifs generated automatically that just move a still image itself. I understand that this 'technique' is used as a tool for certain motion (I use it) but not to move a whole image. I feel the same as if somebody hold a painting in front of me and moves it randomly. If the work was born still, it must remain still. A good example of 'inner motion', this means that the motion is implicit on the image despite not being in motion, are the photographs of Cartier Bresson for example. Giving motion to this pictures for example, will kill it because it will break the concept of 'perfect instant' .

'Instant' differs etymologically from 'moment' in the motion. So, still image (painting, photo, sculpture, etc) is an instant, videos are stories with a-b point, and gifs are moments, the mid point.

How would you describe your gif art?

I usually condense it as "Visual Mantras", as the technique and the aesthetic vary depending on the idea , but in all of them the perfect loop and the intention of hypnotizing is always present.

In another terms about aesthetics and themes I think ‘Industrial Nature’ can fit nice. I use a lot of industrial elements but I like to mix their mechanics with the biological natural ones.

How long have you been creating and selling NFTs?

I am selling NFTs since mid 2019, but it wasn't until October 2020 that I focused more on it and dug into the ecosystem to find new paths to focus my work.

Do you think that NFTs are a positive for gif artists?

For me, and the main reason I jumped into cryptoart and NFT, is that now I can certify my digital work as original. Even more to gif works as they were always understood as something banal and minor for the context of its born. Gif art was born prostituted, used mostly for ads and to claim our attention on the internet, next to the highest glamour of painting and traditional art, and 3d, photography and video these last decades. Even worst if we realize that gif format was the only visual format born by and for the internet.

NFTs are totally positive for gif artists because despite being a digital/online native format it never had its own ecosystem to live in. I feel that I was creating creatures for an ecosystem I was waiting to drop them there. Now with the blockchain, NFTs and cryptoart, I found the place where they can live, being watched by everybody and have the certify that is my work. Until some months ago my work was "free" on the web and I had no control over it at all. This was a huge problem I was suffering since my first month into gif art as people use it indiscriminately with no credit at all. It's ok, and I always defend that my work is to be seen, to be shared, but I was looking for the way to be able to have this link with my work without losing the option of being available for everybody. NFT totally changes this.

What do you think will happen in the future as NFTs get even more popular?

In general terms I think it will happen the same as when print got more popular. People will use it more, a lot of crazy and useless things will appear, tons more of different uses and useful purposes, (not only on art). This opens a new door a lot of people was waiting so the future is unpredictable but we can feel where things are going. NFT arrived to stay and the concept of decentralization is something that was always present on the internet since first days but born inside a centralized system. NFTs are being a way for people to understand the 'peer to peer' philosophy and this makes people think in different codes, so we can expect a lot of new horizons, in art, music, design...

What do you think of the environmental impact of NFTs?

This question can goes really deep but in general terms I think that is something that is being oversized due to the hype and the boiling point we are, and it's understandable because is not false that it has an environmental impact, as everything does. But on the other hand I have two main areas in mind. The first and the obvious from my point of view is that when something is new and developing is less efficient, in the way that it requires more effort to achieve the result. But at the same time, the more this technology is used the more is developed and all this issues are part of it. The first car was not electric.

The second point that usually reverberates in my mind and that it seems that 'hard critics' omit is that they are not having in mind that this NFTs we mint, give us a profit that can be used offline to do another things that can be useful to solve this problem, for example, investing part of this money on living on our own in a minimal and clean way (not working for huge multinational that their environmental impact is tons times more than NFTs and then being part of an ONG to feel clean) and on using part of this money on looking and researching new ways to mint and to keep this digital ecosystem more efficient and clean. Every development needs time.

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If you have found this content valuable considering getting me a cup of coffee

[airis-paris14]

Wonder What She Thinks Epilogue

Summary: She learns to put herself first and he loses the best thing he ever had.

A/N: A new chapter of Starlight coming up next.

Warnings: None

Masterlist

It's Never Wrong When You're In Love...

I haven’t felt this type of thing in a while. I thought I lost myself in love until I found you.

- “Natural” Sabrina Claudio

I’m telling you right now from this day on, I’ve already weighed out the pros and cons, your just the woman I want.”

-"4evermore" Anthony David (ft. Algebra)

“Mrs. Jordan,” Michael leaned over and whispered in his bride’s ear. “Yes, Mr. Jordan?” Zoe beamed as she and her new husband waited for their cue to walk into the reception party. “You look absolutely breathtaking today. Coming down that aisle I was watching you like hot damn that’s my lady,” Michael grinned as Zoe slapped his arm, laughter falling from her lips. “Shut up, you were crying too,” the bride reminded, allowing Michael to wrap his arm around her waist.

“Yeah but that was the internal monologue,” he insisted as one of the tech workers handed each of them a microphone. The intro to “4evermore” by Anthony David began to blare on the other side of the banquet hall doors. “You ready?”

Zoe nodded and took her husband's hand. The doors opened on cue and the couple walked in belting their respective parts of the song.

“Forever’s a mighty long time but I really wanna spend it with you. I shine when you shine. There's really no substitute. 4evermore,”

The two danced around each other singing along with the track. The audience joined in clapping as the newlyweds continued their performance. “I’m making my plans just to be with you. It’s you and me, babe, till the days are through, And I ain’t ashamed, love, to say I do,” Michael crooned

They went through the chorus again before Zoe got her chance to shine, consequently surprising the guests who’d never heard her sing, “Pick a tree to carve our names, let the world know it’s not a game. Last longer than a wedding ring, generations tattooed with the love we bring. From the seeds we sow, to the time it takes to grow. Long enough to show you, I won’t let go of you. Without you, I'm incomplete, like this love song without this beat. I’m saying you are the man I need,” Zoe sang causing the crowd to erupt in cheers.

“I didn’t know Zoe could sing,” Shuri leaned over to her brother who was carrying both of his children in his arms. “She doesn’t often, but she’s great,” he nodded, trying to stop the regret flooding through his veins by bouncing his fussy two, almost, three-year-olds. He watched as their mother spun and sang with her husband. A man that wasn’t him. A man who was making her laugh and having fun on the dance floor as Camden started the rap verse in the song. His attention was then pulled to Nakia, as she laughed and danced on the sidelines of the dance floor cheering on Zoe and Michael with the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for the new Mr. And Mrs. Michael B. Jordan. That was the best wedding entrance I’ve ever seen,” the DJ announced as the crowd began settling back in their seats. Zoe-Iman laughed as Michael handed over their mics and pulled her in close for their first dance. “I’m serious, who giving the new Mrs. Jordan a record deal, cause sis got some mad pipes. I know all this money in here, there’s gotta be a music exec looking for fresh talent. But, imma get off my soapbox so this new union can enjoy their first dance as husband and wife.”

Soon, “Butterflies Pt.2” by Queen Naija was drifting from the speakers as Michael gently swayed with his new wife, the couple singing along softly to each other. “You going to ask Nakia to dance?” Shuri caught her brother’s attention as she grabbed her niece from his arms. Not wanting to be left behind, Meluzmi began wriggling from his father’s arms to get down to the floor with his sister. “I don’t think Nakia wants to talk to me.” The king glanced again at his ex-wife dancing with Camden. “Nonsense, you all were friends first,” Ramonda interrupted, stooping to kiss both of her grandchildren. “That is why your father, and hers, thought you would make a great match.”

“You all are running the country well together, for over a year now.” Shuri pointed out smiling as the toddlers began bopping along to the song with each other. “Business conversations do not mean she will want to dance with me. Besides, she seems like she is having a good time with Camden.”

Shuri shook her head, “I’m taking the twins to dance, Mama, do something with him please,” the now 19-year old shook her head and headed towards the floor as the song shifted, signaling that other couples could join the wedding party on the floor. “Dance with me,” Ramonda extended a hand and the son turned king accepted and escorted her onto the floor.

“You know,” the queen mother started a few seconds later, “the first time you brought Zoe home, I was sure that within a year or two, you’d be telling your father you wanted to marry her.”

T’Challa smiled, “I was that obvious?”

Ramonda chuckled, “Painfully. You were looking at her like a lovesick fool the whole time she was there. Your father tried several times to give you his permission to date him. Even blatantly asking if you all were dating, but you were so stubborn.”

T’Challa looked away and swallowed, “It was not my finest hour and it will forever remain one of my biggest regrets, but I am happy for her.”

“You are, but you are also jealous. Zoe gave you plenty of chances, she even bore your children T’Challa but you were so stubborn, you lost your chance. Now that she’s happy, you should try to find happiness of your own. If not with Nakia, try again with someone. Don’t spend your life believing these were the only two women who could ever have been a great wife. Zoe found her happiness, Nakia is working on hers, it’s time you find your own.”

“Umama-” the king started. “Happiness outside of your children T’Challa, you need adult company too. Company you actually like, the elders don’t count.”

The king sighed and glanced across the room, “I’d like to try again, but I fear I will always wonder what Nakia and Zoe think of her.”

“That is your problem, you always wonder what everyone else is thinking, son.”

“You loved Zoe, but you were so afraid that we would hate her, you hid her and lost her. You had feelings for Nakia, but you wondered what she would think about what you had done to Zoe, so you pushed her away. Stop wondering what one girl will think about the other. Find your happiness, then bring her around. You always attract wonderful people, and we all always love each other. Think about it son, who else’s ex-wife is good friends with the woman her husband was cheating and had children with?”

Ramonda laughed, watching Zoe and Nakia dance with the rest of the wedding party. The king joined in chuckling as his mother continued, “Stop pitting the women against each other before they can even meet. Just let yourself fall in love freely son. We just want you to be happy.”

Zoe instinctively held her head further back as a smirk crossed her new husband’s lips. “Now, Michael, this is a very expensive white dress-”

“And you look beautiful baby-,” he raised his hand with a piece of cake in it closer to Zoe’s face. “Michael,” Zoe whined as his smirk turned into a full-on grin, “What? I’m just trying to feed my beautiful wife.”

“No, you are not!” Zoe laughed and dodged Michael’s hand, “I don’t wanna ruin my makeup, I paid a lot for it,” the bride pouted. “Fine,” the groom sighed, “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“Thank you,” Zoe beamed and allowed him to feed her the piece of cake, she leaned in, kissed his lips, and smashed the piece of cake and icing onto his face, “Gotcha,” she cackled as Michael wiped icing from his mouth. The guests doubled over in laughter as he wrapped a giggling Zoe up in his arms and shook her. “You play dirty,” he laughed. “Mama!” two voices cried out as Ka’aulani and Meluzmi ran to their mom and stepfather. “Cake,” Meluzmi pleaded and his twin nodded her head in agreement. “Okay baby, “Zoe smiled. Michael cut them two small pieces and handed Zoe a plate. The caterers took over cutting up the rest of the large cake for the couple as they led their children over to the main table.

Michael took his self-proclaimed best friend Meluzmi in his lap and let him try and figure out how to spear the soft pieces of dessert, before eventually helping him out. Not wanting her daughter to ruin her dress or hair, Zoe still couldn't understand how so much of the toddler’s meals ended up in her curls, the mother alternated between feeding the toddler and herself. The small family sat sharing cake in silence, bobbing softly to the beat of Kiss Me More while watching their guests tear it up on the dance floor and fight over pieces of cake. “There you two are!” Shuri sighed obviously frustrated, “ T’Challa is gonna kill me, he wanted me to keep them so you could enjoy yourself.”

“Girl,” Zoe dismissed. “He will be fine. My babies just wanted some cake and their mommy.”

On cue, the twins giggled. “Are you having fun?”

Shuri shrugged, I’m just glad to see you happy,” The teen admitted. “Yeah but you’re young, you should be out dancing, and not with two-year-olds.”

“I got a cousin, he’s 20, but I think y’all get along great,” Michael grinned and called the boy over. As predicted he and Shuri hit it off and as the party forged ahead, the couple saw the two dancing and shared a fist bump. “We’re definitely the matchmaking couple,” Zoe beamed.

As the party began to wind down hours later, T’Challa approached the couple for the second time that day and cleared his throat. “My mother and I were about to leave, I was gonna take the twins,” the king gestured towards the children sleeping peacefully, each spread over two chairs pushed together. “Oh okay, thank you for coming and babysitting,” Zoe Iman Jordan hugged her former best friend, ex-lover, and the father of her children, “I’m gonna go say goodnight to mama,” she squeezed Michael’s hand before leaving in search of the older matriarch. “I’ll help you grab the kids, '' Michael broke the silence.

T’Challa nodded and they grabbed the slobbering children from their makeshift beds and headed out of the venue to the cars. Once both twins were buckled, they leaned against the car awaiting the women’s arrival. “Michael thank you.”

“For what?” The actor turned to the monarch. “For loving Zoe and for bringing the light back to her life. For taking care of her and loving my children as your own, even when I wasn’t man enough to do the same.”

Michael nodded, “You know for the longest I hated you. I didn’t understand how one man could be so self-involved he couldn’t see how amazing of a woman he had right in his hand. I hated that you messed with Zoe’s head, made her second guess herself. Then I finally got her to a good place, she opened up, we were having a good time, then she found out she was pregnant. You wouldn’t even text her back about your own kids.” T’Challa nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, “If I could do it all again, I would do it differently believe me.”

I know,” the groom agreed, “but everything happens for a reason. I don’t approve of what you did, but if you had been a good partner, I probably wouldn’t be married to the love of my life right now. So I forgive you. And those kids, they are like my own. I am beyond glad that you’ve stepped up for them. I want them to have their father and a bonus father in their lives. You stay involved and love them, then there are no hard feelings between us.” The acclaimed actor extended a hand and T’Challa accepted his handshake. “You have my word, I’m never leaving them again.”

“Good.” Michael leaned back against the car and crossed his legs, hands stuffed in his tuxedo pockets. “So what’s next for you?” He asked a few beats later.

T’Challa exhaled, “I’m not sure, but I do know I wanna get my life back on track. Find someone and treat her right.”

“Then you do that man,” they stood up off of the car as Ramonda approached. “I just wonder what she’ll think of this family. It’s all a little bizarre isn’t it?”

“Yeah most baby mamas and ex-wives aren’t best friends, especially under our circumstances, but if she loves you and you love her, there’ll always be room in the family.”

“I appreciate that Michael.”

“Shuri staying with Nakia?” The actor asked when the queen mother reached the car. “Yes, she and your cousin have taken quite a liking to each other,” Ramonda raised an eyebrow. “You know me and Zoe will watch out for her,” Michael reassured. “I know, that is the only reason I’m letting her stay,” Ramonda answered.

“We’ll get her back to you safely later tonight. I promise,” The actor shoved his hands in his pocket and stepped back. “I guess we better get going then-”

“Wait,” Zoe walked out of the venue over to the car. “I didn’t get to kiss my babies goodbye,” the mother pouted. Michael laughed as T’Challa rolled his eyes. “Boy, don’t roll your eyes at me before they get stuck like that.” She slapped his chest before opening the car doors and kissing both of her toddlers.”

“Okay, we will swing by to pick them up after we get back. And you have everything packed for them right? You have Meluzmi’s inhaler, and enough clothes and replacement outfits? You got the earplugs too right? They hate heights and the sounds of the plane's engines when-”

“Zoe they will be fine. T’Challa reassured. “And if I don’t have it, you know my mother will make sure they get it. They will be fine. I can do this,” The king grabbed both of her hands and squeezed them gently. “I know, I know,” the young mother sighed, “This is just the longest I have been away from them ever and I’m nervous.” Michael moved up to wrap an arm around his wife’s waist and press a kiss to her forehead. “ Everything will be fine,” he soothed. “I know-”

“Then stop worrying,” T’Challa offered a sad smile, “You deserve this, to be happy, to have a break, to enjoy your honeymoon. You are an excellent mother Zoe, but they have a father too. So enjoy your break, enjoy your marriage. I promise they will be just as alive and happy as they are now when you get back from your trip.”

Zoe nodded and sighed, finally stepping back from the car with Michael at her side. “Okay, see you in three weeks. Thank you all again.”

“Anytime, you know I love my grandbabies.” Ramonda hugged the bride once more before closing the door facing the twins and taking a seat in the backseat next to them. “Ayy, Mike, it’s almost time for the garter toss,” Two of the groomsmen waved the couple over but T’Challa reached for Zoe’s hand. “Can we talk?”

Zoe nodded at her husband letting him know she was okay, he looked the king over once more before heading inside to watch from the doorway. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted you to know that you were right.”

“About what?” the bride squinted. “About deserving to be with someone who can say they love you in and out of the bedroom. You deserve someone who loves you out loud, and I’m glad you found it in Michael.”

Zoe smiled softly, “Thank you. I hope you find the same for yourself. We both deserve someone.”

“I think I already did but I kind of fucked it up...twice,” the king chuckled. “I’ll keep you updated on that front though.”

Zoe Iman nodded. T’Challa gestured to the doorway, “I think you better go though, your husband hasn’t stopped watching.” Zoe laughed, glancing over her shoulder at Michael who was, sure enough, watching from the door. “Yeah... Goodbye T’Challa.” Zoe pulled the king in for a hug before placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Goodbye, Zoe… I love you,” he sighed once she had walked off out of earshot.

Taglist: @almostpurelysmut @blackbypurpose @tchoking @sisterwifeudaku @wikiwakanda @royallyprincesslilly @90sinspiredgirl @thedelightfulone @autumn242 @purple-apricots @kumkaniudaku @queertrex @kaciidubs @halfrican-heat @skysynclair19 @dramaqueenamby @leahnicole1219 @kreolemami @mzbritt @derangedcupcake @chaneajoyyy @lalapalooza718 @ororowrites @leahnicole1219 @sarcastic-sunshines @sarahboseman @faatassbitch @lady-love-and-glitter-roses @cxnismajcr @tchallasbabymama

[neocatharsis]

NCT Dream Is All Grown Up and Ready to Show What They Can Do

On a warm, late summer evening of 2016 in Seoul, South Korea, seven boys hoverboarded right into the most defining experience of their youth. Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung, then aged 17 to 14 years old, were making their debut as NCT Dream — a subunit focused on the youngest forces of SM Entertainment’s mega-group NCT. Their first title track, “Chewing Gum,” was as bubbly as its name, with choreography that required nimble maneuvers on the two-wheeled vehicle.

Fast forward nearly five years, and the Dreamies — as they are commonly known — are ready to cross another major threshold in their lives. Their highly-anticipated, 1.7 million-seller first studio album, Hot Sauce, is out today (May 10).

A few days before that, the members huddled together for a conversation with Teen Vogue via Zoom. Clad in black hoodies, face masks, and a few bucket hats, the initial impression is a striking contrast to the vivid atmosphere of their bright, cartoonish teasers for this promo cycle. Rather, this is NCT Dream in the blue hour, right at that moment of transition between the haze of preparations and the awakened reality of their most prominent comeback so far.

“We haven’t even started the actual promotions yet, but just from receiving this much love and support from our fans, we feel very touched, very, very inspired and supported,” says leader and eldest member Mark. Today, he’s wearing a pair of round glasses that complement his laidback, chill nature, while his expressive hands ruffle through his ocean blue hair, settling across his chest in an embrace. “We’re just focusing on how we can return the love that we received from them through our music.”

To say NCT Dream have grown — in all competencies — is not only obvious, but a meager understatement. Through their four EPs, the hoverboards became cardboard cars, then bikes, then motorcycles. Voices deepened, limbs grew longer, jawlines became sharper. And with all that, a number of accolades and records followed. Hot Sauce is currently the best-selling album among all releases from SM Entertainment. And out of all four current NCT units, the Dreamies were the first to receive a music show win, for 2017’s single “My First and Last,” and the first no. 1 on Korea’s largest music chart, Melon, with 2020’s “Ridin.” They received numerous prizes in Korean award shows, collaborated with English singer HRVY, released a single with American boy band Prettymuch, and also became global ambassadors of the World Scout Foundation in 2019 (an experience that culminated in viral mosh pits during the 24th World Scout Jamboree in West Virginia).

“When we debuted as teens, a lot of our music was very bright and cheerful, and that went with our age,” says the lavender-haired Jisung, who is the youngest of the group at 19. Although they are still the same endearing rascals off stage — the most chaotic footvolley game ever comes to mind — they have now “transitioned through all these phases, and with each of them we were able to show a higher level of maturity,” he adds.

In that way, Hot Sauce is their most seasoned effort yet. “We wanted to show NCT Dream’s charms through this ‘hot sauce’ vibe,” says the suave Jaemin, whose attentive eyes remain locked on the screen for most of the interview. “We have a showcase coming up where we plan to show a lot of our b-side tracks for the fans, so we’re very excited for that.” According to Haechan, the resident ray-of-sunshine of the group and owner of one of the most unique vocal colors of K-pop, they prepared a long time for this moment, and want to “show off that spicy side.”

Show off might be the best word choice indeed, as NCT Dream has dabbled with fire plenty of times before in their discography. Think of the rubbery, sticky synths of 2018’s “Drippin’” and its lyrics about a soaking wet love, or the dangerous atmosphere in 2019’s “119,” where they call themselves “twisted” and say “I like it like that.” In Hot Sauce, what was once un condimento is now a full course meal.

The album stimulates the eyes through the psychedelic TV ad-meets-taquería of the “Hot Sauce” music video, the nostalgic ‘90s photography of the teasers, the zany illustrations of the album packaging. For the ears, a 10-track collection of scorching pop with Latin and Afrobeat-inspired sounds (“Hot Sauce,” “Rocket”) and trap and hip hop — “Diggity”, “Countdown (3, 2, 1)”, “ANL” — but also soothing balms like the soft rock of “Dive Into You” and the crystalline vocals of “Rainbow,” a track co-written by Mark, Jeno, Jaemin, and Jisung, where they express “words we want to tell our fans,” according to Shanghai-born star Chenle.

That is because the Dreamies have a special reverence for Dreamzens, their fans. If it wasn’t for their support, the group’s fate could look much different now. Although it might seem counterintuitive in hindsight, the original concept for NCT Dream was to be a rotational unit. Members would “graduate” once they reached 20 years old in Korea (19 internationally), and younger, fresher faces would be added to the ensemble. It can be said that NCT Dream embodied the core concept of NCT as a whole: they held the promise of youth, its shifting nature, and the willingness to dream. But to come of age on screen and experience such foundational moments of life together begets a lingering bond — a transformation that can’t be nullified so easily.

In December 2018, Mark was the first to leave — and the last.

Dreamzens knew how special the original lineup (dubbed 7DREAM until today) was, and stood by his return and the establishment of a fixed unit. In 2020, they rejoiced as SM Entertainment finally decided to scrap the graduation concept altogether and announce Mark’s return. Hot Sauce is their first comeback since this news. “When I heard that I was coming back, I realized how big of an opportunity this could be,” says Mark. “And not only that, but to be able to be part of our first full-length album, I felt like I was lucking [out]. It all comes with the timing and everything, so, from all angles, I felt like the world helped out on this, and that our fans helped out a lot too.”

The members are thankful for his return, too. “I like the members the most!” exclaims Chenle when asked about his favorite part of the comeback. At one point in the conversation, Haechan grabs Mark’s hand and dramatically declares, in English: “Mark, you are very special. NCT Dream means Mark.” He looks at the screen to make sure this moment is being registered. Flustered, Mark quickly pulls away and laughs it off as Jisung chimes in. “All the members have their own uniqueness, their own specialties, that’s the charm of NCT Dream.”

Soft-spoken Renjun, whose half-platinum, half-black locks are hidden underneath a beige cap, explains that he and his bandmates didn’t think much about the impending graduation when they debuted. “Especially because it was the [original] system for NCT groups, we just accepted that fact,” Renjun says. “But now that NCT Dream is fixed, there’s a lot of enthusiasm to come up with new concepts and ideas, and we’re very excited to show them.”

Jeno, whose sweet-eyed smile contrasts with his commanding rap and dance skills, says that they went through a lot of lessons and experiences since debut, but that the greatest one was “learning what we’re able to do and show in our stages, and through that, finding ways to connect with our fans and make sure they enjoy it.” After all, as Chenle adds, NCT Dream means “being able to dream the same dreams with our members and our fans.”

For now, they are ready to bask in the flavorful glory of this era, and all the outcomes it will bring. “One of our goals when we debuted was to bring happiness and healing to people’s lives, and we do feel like we were able to achieve that,” says Renjun.

“Our fans witnessed it all from the start. We grew together, so now it’s time to show what it is like with NCT Dream being adults,” adds Mark. “We can be a perfect example of what growth and development look like.”

© Teen Vogue

[kpopcanonsforchie]

a/n note:

hello everyone, this is my first hc on here so i hope i make a good impression! tysm for reading if you do i really appreciate it!

Rumors?! (Part 1) sub!taemin x gender neutral dom!reader

845 words 4,498 characters

warning the following may contain: degrading, brat kink, swearing, sexual tendencies.

It was kind of obvious that Taemin had been dating someone, I mean the whole subject practically broke the internet. Everyone was talking about it like if it was a boy or a girl, if they were a celebrity, or were they from a group. You hadn't really payed that much attention to it unless people brought it up to you.

You were talking with a close friend and producer of Taemin's when the topic changed for whatever reason you seem to not remember.

"Well, I've been told your quite the submissive." he said jokingly.

"Q-quite the submissive?" you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"Pfft where did you here that from?" you laughed.

"From Taem (a nickname of taemin) of course, he wouldn't stop bragging about it to me one day. Talking about how needy you were on the first try. I at first didn't believe it but he seemed so descriptive." he explained.

"What do you mean? What did he say?" you queried.

"Well he said you were all over him like a loose canon if you will. You wouldn't stop the dirty talk throughout the day. And would make almost anything sexual." he added. "I don't know exactly what he said. I was kinda distracted. but something of the lines of that." he yawned.

"Oh well that's funny, I think he maybe forgot what really happened ; I don't recall it happening that way." You smirked deviously.

You look towards the producer as you grab your things.

'I can't believe he though he could get away with making these rumors about me.' you thought.

"I best be on my way, I've got work to finish back home. I enjoyed talking with you. Be safe, I'll see you soon!" you smiled and bowed slightly.

"No problemo! Peace out, hope you finish that work of yours." he cheekily grinned.

As you walked out the building, you reached for your phone to text Taemin.

'I'll like to see you tomorrow. Seems you've been caught in some trouble.'

You finally got home to prepare for the next day. A day that will include punishment.

The day had came and you Taemin had decided to go out and have some fun since it'd been a quick minute since you two had actually went somewhere for fun. But this time, it was different. Everything he did seem to be more and more sexual. At first you thought it was your dirty mind but then you started to realize it wasn't and you purposely tried to ignore it to tease him.

He would do the most scandalous things. If he would bend over to grab something, he'd purposely have his ass out in front of you and would sometimes grind against you. Or would be a little too buddy buddy with people. Touching them in areas only couples do. While in the back of a car would touch you in certain places like your inner thigh while looking the other way and very quietly whimpering. Or he would sing the song 'Slave' in the back of the car and would say "it's just for practice".

you give me a rewarding kiss and a selfish wish baby i'm a slave for you

he purposely sung by your ear.

This went on all day until the both of you finally reached home.

You pulled him by the collar of his shirt inside aggressively but he was shocked and a little happy.

"You've been such a naughty boy today" you said.

"You've been spreading rumors about me. Telling people how needy I am of you but that's the complete opposite. You've be practically whipped for me all day." you said with a deviously tone.

"I know you've been trying to turn me on throughout the day with your dirty antics. grinding against me and flirting with others to make me jealous. And you know what,it's been working." you added.

Taemin smirked at yours words. "So it's been working, I have been a dirty boy haven't I?" he put a finger to his lip in a cute innocent fashion.

You grabbed him by the jaw and said "Don't test me and try to act innocent. Your far from it you filthy bastard." you hissed.

You started to unbutton his shirt to leave marks on him. You nibble at his ear and sucked at his collar bone. He squirmed trying not to put a hand on his mouth and suppressed his whines and moans like the brat he is.

"Trying to suppress yourself from making those disgusting noises? I still know your so needy for me brat. Look at your pants." You whispered in his ear.

He looked down and saw the stain on his pants. "Fuck! Why can't you just fuck me already seriously?!" he moaned and pleaded. He bucked his head back in pleasure and you kissed him up and down.

"You fool, brats don't get what they want. Especially ones like you." you chuckled in sadistic sarcasm.

"B-but b-but , ngh" Taemin couldn't bring himself to beg.

"Please miss/sir, I promise I-i promise that I'll be good." he huffed.

to be continued will revise later

share for part 2! ;)

part 2

read my other fanfics :

blanket (bam bam x reader) published 9/29/20

[im-hqlover]

Arranged marriage/Royal AU - Chapter 2 - The Party

A/n: I came back with chapter 2! I must say, it was worth writing this all day, and I really hope you like it. 

Enjoy!

(none of the images used on the aesthetic belong to me, credit to their creators)

Warnings: arranged marriage, maybe some bad words, sex mentions, maybe discomfort?, cry (Idk if it is necessary, but I will put anyway), maybe english errors/mistakes. 

important details to mention:

-This is kind of a Royal AU, but time kinda mixes with middle Ages and current time, so some technologies exist and others don’t, it’s kind of confusing, maybe, but I hope this isn’t a big problem.

-The reader is 20 years old, Jason is 22 y/o

-The reader is female.

Pairings: Jason Todd x reader

Y/n = your name

L/n = Last name

B/f/n = best friend name

F/c = Favourite cake

Words count: 6108

Previous chapters: Chapter 1

Next chapters: Chapter two's alternative ending, chapter 3

Tag list: @sarcasmismyfirstlove​ 

Y/N's INFO:

Gender: Cis-Female

Sexuality: Straight 

Height: Shorter than Jason

Weight: Not Defined 

Skin Color: Not Defined 

Hair Color: Not Defined 

Eyes Color: Not Defined

Other details? Y/n is myopic 

(I hope I have put all the information, let me know if i forgot something)

As we walked, I was still very nervous, with my body shaking and sweating cold because I didn't know exactly how to act, should I say something? I had no idea, so I just kept walking and tried to focus on what was important. 

After we left the room where the ceremony was held, the bridesmaids continued in front of us, guiding us to the outside area, where there was a stone path, with several flower petals on the sides, together with several lights that adorned there, I couldn't help myself sigh a wow while I saw it all, it was ... just beautiful. 

- Liked? - I hear Jason asking me, and I turn to face him as we continue walking. 

- It's amazing. - I admit to him and look away from him, for some reason his look made me blush.

- Aweeee, you two are so cute together! - One of the flower girls who had black hair turned to us and kept walking back and throwing petals, she had a huge smile on her face. She should have been about six, eight at the most.

- Lian, you will fall if you keep walking backward. - It was just that he said that she lost her balance and almost fell, but she managed to be more agile and act as if nothing had happened, I couldn't help myself have a little laugh and Jason did the same.

As much as he seemed a little scary before, for some reason now he didn’t seem that much, I mean, he was huge, and obviously he was a warrior, his scars and muscular body proved it, he really looked like someone angry that you wouldn't want to get into a fight with, but after what that woman in the village said, my dad saying that maybe he wasn't as bad as I expected him to be, at the altar, he was trying to smile to make me feel more comfortable, and now he’s probably trying to find something to make things a little better, maybe he really wasn't that bad, but I couldn't jump to conclusions, my brain could be deceiving me to see what I wanted to see.

It was a short time to we arrived in an open area with several tables and chairs for the guests, there were also several lights hanging over the tables, I could see that in the background the sun was setting, I stopped for a moment to appreciate all that, it was really beautiful, I was speechless, even though I was stressed because of the whole situation, being there now made me feel a little more comfortable.

The venue was still empty, as the guests would arrive after us, and I didn't know exactly what I was supposed to do, I mean, we were probably going to greet the guests, but I wasn't sure about that. I looked at Jason and opened my mouth to speak, but I didn't have the courage to ask, but he must have realized that I was going to say something.

- Yes? - He raises his eyebrows doubtfully, waiting for me to speak. 

- What exactly do we do now? 

- Guests should arrive in a short time, so we should greet them and thank them for coming. - He said it as if it was the most obvious thing and that I should know, I mean, that was obvious, I just wanted to be sure. 

- I understand. - I answer looking shyly where my feet should be, but that at the moment were hidden by the long dress, so I look where we had arrived, and soon the first to appear are my family, and then Jason's family. 

They positioned themselves at our sides, and it wasn't long before the guests came, my nervousness returned again, I don’t really know if it left me at some point, to be honest, but it sure got worse now, what if I say something wrong? What if I can't say anything? But then I observe what my parents and Jason's family said, and then I repeated more or less the same. 

It was tiring, there were several guests, people I never saw in my life but who acted as if I knew them, and that left me a little out of place. 

Most people said things like: "You are such a beautiful and cute couple", "the ceremony was so beautiful, I couldn't stop the tears from falling", "it was a pleasure to see this wedding", "I hope you are very happy together", "you will have beautiful children", and many other things. 

What irritated me was that everyone acted like Jason and I really loved each other, as if we dated for years and finally, after a long time we decided to get married, but all of that was a lie, even if I wanted to have that love between us, I knew it was a lie. 

When all the guests were greeted and thanked, there was the photo session that was equally tiring and uncomfortable, mainly in the parts where I had to kiss Jason, not that it was bad to kiss him, but…. Do you know what I mean? It was fake and without passion, it wasn't cool. When the photo session ended my mom came over to talk to me, and Jason left me alone with her. 

- Come on daughter, you have to change your dress. - Ah yes, the party dress, I had even forgotten that. My mom took me to my room and then left me alone for me to change. 

Ah, at least a few minutes alone without anyone suffocating me, without unknown people hugging me and kissing my hand, it just made me more uncomfortable. 

I looked at my left hand where the ring was, I didn't even have time to analyze it, it was very beautiful, full of details, and I must say, absolutely expensive, not that I know much about jewelry, but I’ve seen some carved rings like this cost the eye, or rather, cost a kidney. 

The dress I was wearing was really long, and I'm happy to change it to one that was knee-deep, so I wouldn't be tripping over the dress all the time, on the other hand, my legs were exposed and I felt a little uncomfortable with that, even if the dress wasn't that short. I touched up my makeup slightly and then looked at my reflection for a while. I hear a knock on the door and my mother's voice. 

- Are you ready? 

- Yes. - I say monotonously and open the door, leaving the room, and so we went back to the outside area where the party was taking place, when we get there, most, or maybe all the guests look at me, and it makes me feel nervous and I feel my face heat up, my mom and I go to the big table where Jason, his family, and mine were sitting, besides the best man and bridesmaids. My mom sits next to my dad and brother, while I sit between my husband and my dad, while I try to ignore all the looks on me. As soon as I sit down, I hear the sound of someone gently tapping a glass to make a noise and catch the attention of everyone present. 

- Now that the bride has arrived, let's go to the speeches! - Announced King Bruce, who started giving a speech talking about how happy he was with the wedding, that it meant peace and alliance between our kingdoms, and that finally, that war was over, he may have said other things, but I ended up not paying much attention. 

When the king finished his speech, it was my father's turn, he was saying he was very happy and blah blah blah. After his little speech, the best man got up to do his, I didn't remember his name, but apparently he was very close to Jason. He said some things that I admit I didn't pay much attention to… y/n! focus!

- So, how about telling some funny moments of the groom? - I could see that Jason looked at the best man with a deadly look, but the redhead just ignored the look of the groom and kept talking. - Like that time, where it should be a normal night in a bar, just a few drinks, but he drank so much, he went so far as to want to kiss a tree saying that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen on Earth. I couldn't help but laugh, and neither did other guests, Jason laughed too, but I couldn't tell if it was genuine or fake, I felt a little guilty about laughing, but hey, I can't control my laughter.

- I could be telling several of these stories, but I can't spend the whole night talking, so I'm going to end this speech by saying to you, princess y/n,  the situation you two met may not have been the best, but if you have a little patience to put up with this guy, I know you’ll find that deep down, very deep down, he’s a cool guy. - I smile at the best man, and like other people, I clap for his speech, and he soon takes his seat. I look at Jason, and I can swear his face was slightly red, who would have thought a tough man like him could blush? 

It was then that my maid of honor started giving her speech, and it made me nervous, what if she said something embarrassing in front of everyone? I tried to calm down and pay attention to what she said. 

- I know that things didn't go exactly as you planned them, but I really hope you two get along. And as the best man of the groom did, I will tell you a little about the bride so that the prince can also learn a little more about y/n. And the first thing I think you deserve to know is that she is the most stubborn person that exists on the face of the Earth, and no y/n, there is no point in looking away because you know very well that this is true. Besides of course, also being the most clumsy person I’ve ever seen, I wonder how it’s never broken a bone being clumsy the way you are. - I laugh, maybe because of nervousness, but I had to agree with her lines because they were true. - But I don't want to talk only about your defects, I don't want to leave you with a bad impression, I can also tell you that y/n is one of the kindest, talented, and incredible person I have ever met. She may not want to admit it and want to run away from other people, but Jason, if you have a little patience and determination, behind her walls, you will realize that she is an amazing person.

I smile shyly, and I can feel Jason's gaze on me, and it makes me more nervous. But there was something that was bothering me, both the best man and the maid of honor were the only people who acted saying that it was kind of a forced situation, but why? Shouldn't they act like the others and just ignore the fact that it was all forced? 

I didn't know if I thought that was a good situation or not, in a way I learned a little more about Jason and him about me, not that there were big things, but it was still something. Would he be as good as the best man says he is? I think my answer will come over time, and I hope it is true, not the opposite.

B / f / n kept telling some stories about me, and as soon as it was over, it was time to cut the wedding cake. Jason got up first and I got up right away, he offers his hand which I accept shyly, and then he guides me to the table where there was a big 6-layer cake, its decoration was beautiful, and of course, on the top, there was a mini-me and a mini Jason. 

Before cutting the cake, had more photos, which even though I didn't see them, I wanted to set them on fire, because I was sure that my tired and uncomfortable face was very apparent. After the photos were taken, we finally cut the cake, and then pieces were distributed to the guests, and I was surprised when I ate the cake and it was f/c, I swore it would be a bad thing, but knowing that it was my favorite cake made me a little happier, who will not be happy with cake? Especially when it's your favorite? 

The party went on normally, people talking at their tables, picking up food, coming over to where Jason or I was to be able to talk and etc. There was also the orchestra that was playing background music, it was not too loud so that people could talk to each other without having to shout. 

It took some time until it was time for the couple to dance, meaning Jason and I would dance, just the two of us, in front of everyone, I don't even need to mention that it made me very nervous. Not that I don't know how to dance, I trained a lot with my father, and I already danced before, but dancing with all eyes on you, dancing with someone you don't know if know how to dance well or not, is complicated.  

The music grew louder, and Jason offered his hand so we could go to the dancing floor and start dancing. He puts his right hand on my waist, and I hold his free hand with my right hand. For a while, I try to avoid looking at his face, but I knew it was better to look at him, it would be strange to see a couple dancing without looking at each other, so I had to gather all my strength to not look away from his eyes, that were so... mesmerizing. Maybe I was distracted for a few seconds and… stumbled?

Of course, I couldn't help being embarrassed even in my own marriage, just when several people are looking. I end up laughing nervously and Jason asks. 

- Are you alright? - Even if we continued to dance as if nothing that just happened has happened, he asks me if I'm okay. 

- Y-yes, I'm fine. - I answer awkwardly and we continue to dance until the music stops and another one starts, and now my father asks to dance with me.

And well, things went on, I danced with my father, then with the best man, and I must say it was kind of funny to dance with him for some reason, maybe it was your conversations that made me laugh. Then other guys from the nobility came to me to dance, it came to a point that I just couldn't stand my feet and I had to stop for a while, and during that break, I took the opportunity to eat something. As I ate in a corner, trying to be at peace for at least a few minutes, I see Jason who was not far from me, and one of the bridesmaids/flower girls, whose name I think was Lian, approaches him and pulls the sleeve of his suit. 

- Uncle Jay, dance with me? - I notice that she makes a very cute face begging Jason to dance with her, he sighed, he was probably tired of dancing too, but he accepted the flower girl's request. 

- Of course Lian. - When he answered the girl gave little jumps of joy, and the scene as it was cute was at the same time funny because Jason was a giant compared to the girl. Until to resolve the height differences, and so that he probably wouldn't have back pain, he picked Lian up and started dancing, and the girl was laughing with joy. Seeing that melted my heart, it was too cute. 

But my happiness and my time alone didn't last long, I hadn’t even finished eating, and more guys came up saying they wanted to dance with me, and my feet wanted to scream in response, "I danced too much already, go find someone else to dance!" until the men start to discuss who would dance with me first since I didn't even have the opportunity to speak. They were very close to me, and there should be at least five there, I was feeling suffocated, I tried to speak, but they just ignored me, and I didn't want to be rude, so I just tried to get away, but it didn't help. 

- Hey! Can't you just leave her alone? - I hear a familiar voice startling the guests there, it was the best man, who if I'm not mistaken his name was Roy or something. The guys got mad at him, but they left, leaving me alone with the best man.  

- Thanks, I couldn't take these guys on me anymore. - I tell the redhead who smiles at me. 

- Don't worry princess, I know that this whole situation must be very embarrassing and difficult for you, and having these guys drooling over you shouldn't improve the situation. - I laugh at your speech and shake my head in agreement. When he was about to leave, I took courage and talked to him.

- Wait.

- Yes? - He turns to me with a questioning look on his face.

- Y-you're Jason's friend, aren't you?

- I believe so. - He laughs and then continues. - Why?

I hesitated, I didn't know exactly what to ask, or rather, how to ask, I didn't want this to be more embarrassing than it already was, I look around, and see that Jason was far away, I take a deep breath and then ask the best man.

- What's he like? I mean, what is he really like? - The redhead scratches the back of his neck and looks around. 

- We'd better go to a more reserved place. - He points to me following him, and so I did. The place we went to wasn't far from there, but it was empty, and I was relieved to be away from all that crowd, I analyze the place, and I see that from there it is possible to see the sea, and far away there were some islands where one of the villages of the kingdom of Gotham was. 

- What did you hear about him? - Roy asks me, I was silent for a few seconds trying to find the right words.

- In the beginning, when they told me I was getting married, I heard things that weren't very good, to be honest. - The best man signals me to continue. - They had told me that he was an indomitable warrior, that he killed several people brutally, that he destroyed villages, and among other things like that. 

- Hm, I'm not going to lie, that's true, Jason really did it. - Okay, that made me more nervous, my god, what man did I marry? Roy must have noticed my concern and spoke quickly afterward. - But he isn't just that. I mean, what most people know is his brutality, his stubbornness, and his skills as a warrior, but believe me, what I said in the speech is true, under that supposed "monster" that people call him, deep down, he's a very nice guy, he may not be very open with people, but if you give him time, and if you’re willing to meet him, I’m sure you’ll see a different guy than people usually say. 

I nod, I don't think he would lie about Jason, would he? at least he didn't seem to be lying… and well, he didn't tell me exactly what Jason is like, so maybe he wants me to figure this out on my own. 

- We better get back now. - Roy says pointing with his head to where the party was.

- Yes ... but I want to stay here for a little while. - He agrees and doesn't seem to want to insist, so he decides to go back to the party and leave me there alone.

I keep watching the sea and the whole landscape and general, I shiver a little because of the cold wind, it wasn't winter yet, but temperatures had already started to drop a lot. I got a slight fright when I realized that Jason was there, how did I not notice him coming?

- Sorry. - He says while scratching the back of his neck, I just shake my head and say that everything was fine.

- Are you alright? - Jason asks me after some time of silence. 

- Yes, I just ... I was feeling a little suffocated with so many people. - I answer him as I nervously stroked my arm.

Who did I want to fool? Nothing was okay, there was no way to be okay, but even so, I thought I had to say I was okay so as not to disturb people. Jason seemed to want to say something, but he gives up and just keeps quiet. 

- Maybe ... we'd better go back now. - I say going towards the party, but I'm stopped by Jason who took my wrist, but that he soon moves away. - Hmm?

- Are you sure you're okay? You can stay here longer if you need to. 

- It's okay, and my parents will freak out if I disappear for a long time. - I have a little laugh when I think about it, and my husband laughs too, but I couldn't tell if it was because of what I said or by nervous, but it didn't matter that much. But before we go to the party, I take a deep breath and say. - Jason? 

- Yes?

I automatically regretted it, why did I do it? I didn't even know what to say to him, so why did I call him? But now I had to say something, but what? Maybe I just wanted to talk to him to know more about him… but I was awful trying to talk to people.

- It's nothing, forget it. - I speak shaking my head and heading towards the party, and Jason comes right behind me. 

I decide to sit a little at my chair at the big table so I can rest for a while, but I should suspect that this would not last too long, but when I look at whoever came to my side I am surprised to see that she was one of the flower girls, the one who was dancing with Jason, who believed her name was Lian. 

- Hi Princess. - She says smiling at me. 

- Huh, hi. - I say trying to return the smile. 

- I wanted to say that I can't wait for you and Uncle Jason to have beautiful and cute babies, and know that I will always be willing to take care of them and hug and play with them a lot. - It looked like she was going to say something else, but Roy interrupts her by covering her mouth and taking her away. 

- Sorry princess, my daughter doesn't know when it isn't convenient to speak. - He apologized for the girl and looked a little annoyed with her, he turns and says something to the flower girl something like "we've talked about this before Lian".

- It's okay, she wasn't disturbing.

- Are you sure? - He asks me while leaving his daughter free. 

- How can this cuteness like me bother someone daddy? - Lian spoke convincingly and made me laugh. 

- It's ok. - He agreed with his daughter's speech. 

- Can I talk to the princess, daddy? - She asks looking at him piously, making the redhead sigh and then look at me. 

- If it's okay for the princess.

- It's okay with me. - I say and I could see the girl jumping excitedly. 

- Okay. But if she bothers you, let me know that I'm coming to get her. - The best man as he said left me alone with the flower girl, who sits in the chair next to me where Jason was previously. 

- Your dress is very beautiful, princess.

- Thank you. Your dress is also very beautiful. 

- Truth. But yours is much more incredibly beautiful. 

- Huh, well... Thank you. - I say smiling.

- And Uncle Jason is also very handsome today. - She spoke looking at Jason who was talking to some people, I looked at him for some time, then I ask Lian. 

- So you mean he's not normally handsome? 

- Not when he wears that hideous armor that he wears almost always. It gets much better this way. - I end up laughing at the girl's speech, sometimes I forgot how sincere the children could be. 

- Hey princess. 

- Please, call me y/n.

- Then I will call you auntie y/n since you are my uncle's wife, that makes you my aunt, isn't it?

- Well, I think so. - I shrug and keep looking at Jason who was still talking to the guests whom I had no idea who they were. 

- So, Auntie y/n, how did you and Uncle Jay meet?

I freeze for a moment, she really should believe that this was a real marriage, I mean, it was a real one, but it was arranged, and she certainly didn't know about it, and I didn't want to ruin her happiness.

- Well... it's a long story, you'll be bored. - I say trying to change the subject.

- I will not! I swear! And I have a long time to listen to you. - She says smiling hoping that I will tell her the story. What did I do now? If I lied, at one time or another she would discover that what I told was false, but if I told the truth... I couldn't tell that it was a forced marriage for her. I take a deep breath trying to find something to say.

- You are too young to hear this story. - I say, trying to get away from that, I had to change the conversation. 

- But what it could have that I couldn't hear? Even more, I am very mature for my age, so tell me! Pleeeease! - I realized that she wasn't going to forget that and she wasn't going to stop until I told her. 

- Hm, I need to talk to your father first to find out if he agrees to tell you this story, but for now, why don't we get some cake? - She nods and we went to get cake, it seems that I managed to get away from this temporarily, for how long I didn't know. 

After we got cake and went back to the table, we talked about different subjects, and I was able to enjoy and discover some things about Jason talking to her, they were kind of silly things, but I admit they were cute too. 

We talked until my mom came up to me and said that I should socialize with other people, I apologize to Lian and that I had to talk to some people, she understood and then went to her father. 

I look nervously at the people around me, there were few that I knew, and I wasn't exactly a social person, so I didn't know who I should talk to or what to talk to. So I tell my mom that I didn't know who I should talk to, and then she said that to anyone, as long as I spoke to someone because it was not cool for the bride to ignore her guests, she then drags me over to where Jason was talking to some people. 

- Huh, hi. - I say awkwardly when I approach them. At first, I was nervous about what to say, but they didn't seem to care and were kind and nice to me, I soon found out that they were Clark Kent and Diana Prince. 

We talked for a while until my mom looked at me and signaled that I should talk to the rest of the guests too, Jason also seems to have understood what my mother had gesticulated and soon tells Clark and Diana that we had to talk to some other guests and that we would talk again later.

The good side is that Jason wasn't afraid to intrude on the conversation of others and start talking to them, so I didn't have to start the conversation, but to comment when necessary.  

I don't know how long we stayed in this conversation with the guests, but I know it was a long time. In one of our conversations, we are interrupted by b/f/n. 

- Hey y/n! It's time to throw the bouquet! - She said taking me to the area where I was supposed to stay and then gives me the bouquet.

- Okay. - I say nervously. 

- PEOPLE! BUQUET TIME! - b/f/n shouts calling everyone to the women to get together so I can throw the bouquet. 

- Is everyone ready? - I ask the people who answer in chorus a yes.

- 3… 2…. 1! - I count and then throw the bouquet, when I turn around I find that it was b/f/n who took the bouquet, and knowing her as I know her, she must have done everything and pushed everyone to get that bouquet. 

Well, now I could sigh with relief, because soon the party was over, not before Jason and I had to say goodbye to all the guests. When it finished, several servants arrived to start cleaning up the mess that the place had become. 

But even though the party was over, that night wasn't over yet. I go to my room, it was obvious that was going to happen, so the only thing I could do was try to get ready for that, right? 

But I didn't know exactly what to do now, should I go to his room the way I'm now? Should I shower and put on some comfortable clothes or sexy clothes? I mean, I didn't even know if I had any clothes for that moment. I looked through all my bags for something that was good, but I sighed in frustration when I couldn't find something good enough. Well, I guess I should use whatever I like, shouldn't I? And it's not like he's going to run from me, at least I hoped it wouldn't.

I took a hot shower and when I left I put on shorts along with a tight tank, it might not be a very sexy outfit,  but I think it was better than nothing, isn’t it? I even thought about putting on a bra for a brief moment, but fuck it, I wasn't going to use this to sleep, especially when, well, if that was really going to happen, it's one less thing, isn't it?

I dry and comb my hair, letting my hair down. I stop and think what I would put on my feet, I hesitated for a moment, but I put on my dear slippers, and oh, how nice it was to wear something comfortable.

I look at myself in the mirror in my room, everything will be fine, I have to calm down. I sigh nervously before going to the door and leaving my room, now I had another problem, where the hell was his bedroom? And would he be there? When one of the servants passed by me, I decide to stop him and ask him. 

- Huh, excuse me sir, but could you tell me where Prince Jason's bedroom is? 

- Of course, princess y/n, follow me.

The sir who guided me seemed to be in his 50s or 60s, but I couldn't say for sure, he had gray hair, but I think his hair was once black, and his eyes were a light blue. He guided me through that giant place until we got to a door, which I assumed was Jason's room. 

- We arrived princess, feel free. - He spoke and did a little reverence. 

- Huh, thank you. - I tell him before he leaves. I look at the door and I'm hesitant, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach and my whole body trembling, because of jitters and a little cold too. I take a deep breath and knock on the door to get it over with. 

- Who is it? - I hear his voice, he seemed to be a little angry for some reason, and of course, it didn't improve my situation. 

- I-it's me, y / n. 

- Huh… ok, you can come in. - He said in a softer voice than before. 

I open the door to his room and when I enter I realize that he was undoing his tie, he must have arrived there shortly. Jason lifts his head and starts looking at me, and I can feel my face heat up. 

- Hum, do you need anything? - He clears his throat, but even though I wasn't looking at him, I could feel his gaze on me. 

How was I going to say that? Hey! Time to have sex isn't it? Why else do you think I would be here in your room wearing these clothes? But of course, I didn't have the courage to say that. I bite my lips for a moment before I answer him.

- You know. - I say as I close the door behind me. 

- Got it. - There was a moment of awkward silence between the two of us, what was I supposed to do? Talk to him? Kiss him? To be honest, the only thing I really wanted to do at that moment was to sleep since it had been days since I had adequate sleep, let's say sleeping in a carriage is not the best thing in the world.

- Are you sure you want to do this? - He asks me after some time, he approaches me, but there was still a distance between us. 

- That's what everyone wants, isn't it? - Jason takes a deep breath and seems to think a lot about what he would say. 

- Look, let's be frank here. It's just the two of us now, we don't have to pretend to be happy now just to please those fucking nobles. - His voice starts to get angry again, which made me shrink a little. - It doesn't depend on them, it depends on both of us, and if you don't want that, you don't have to.

I look at him for a moment, then look away again. 

- You… won't you… make me do this?

- Of course not! I don't know what the fuck you heard about me, but believe me, I would never do that. - In a way I feel a little more relieved to hear that. - We don't need to do this if you don't want to. 

I was silent thinking about what I could answer. 

- And you... don't want that?

- No. I mean, yes, of course I would, but not in that forced way, and not because of other people. 

- I understand. - I can feel tears filling my eyes, but I don't know exactly why, maybe they were relief? or maybe from all the stress I went through? I don’t know. But I held on so they wouldn't fall, I didn't want him to see me cry. 

- I need to shower now. - He grabs some wardrobe clothes and a bath towel, and so he went into the bathroom, without saying anything else.

My heart was still beating very fast, and that feeling of butterflies in my stomach continued, I let my tears fall and then wipe it away. I had to put together myself, I breathe calmly and lie down on his bed, which was incredibly soft. Why did I lie there? Well, I thought that even if we weren't going to do that, if I left his room for mine, people would know that we didn’t have sex and would be filling me up because of it. When I was almost asleep, I hear the bathroom door opening. 

- Huh, are you going to stay here? - He asked me before going to turn off the lights. 

- If I leave here, it will be obvious that we didn't do that, and people will ask us questions, and I just want to avoid that. But if you want, I can go back to my room. - I say avoiding looking at him. 

- No, you don't have to. - He climbs on the bed and then we were both silent, even if it was a strange situation, something told me that I would have to get used to it, I just sigh and try to sleep, which didn't take much effort since I was very tired.

=-=-=-=-=

A / n: chapter 2 finished! :D I hope you liked it, I feel like maybe it didn't look as good as the first one, but I think it was because I had a little headache/sleep and it makes me write some nonsense things, but I really hope that everything I wrote makes sense, btw, I had even written another ending, but it would be very different from how I wanted it to be because that ending they were starting to get along really well, and I didn't want that yet, but I hope this ending was good, it was inspired again by @writingblock101 fanfic, especially the ending since I didn’t know how to do it, so sorry if it looks like it, and if you don’t feel good about it I can try to find another way to finish this chapter. 

Maybe I'll post the other ending in another post if someone wants to read it, and not that that ending is bad, but I think it would be confusing because of the next chapters where they are slowly trying to get closer. Anyway, Idk how to explain it, but you will understand what I mean in the next chapters. 

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, any English errors, or if you think something is very confusing, please let me know.

Until the next chapter!

See ya!

- Ina -

Masterlist

[shiemishuzenji]

100 OC Question Meme!

created by marchenvillain <3

Your Wings edition: Shiemi Shuzenji!

1. What’s a unique skill they have? Is their any reason why they can do it? Shiemi can harness the power of the sun in order to heal wounds. Her Quirk is a mixture of her mother’s (who can bend light) and grandmother’s (who can heal wounds). 

2. What are their favourite possessions? Why? (sentimentality, history, price, etc) The necklace that Hawks gave her is very important to her. She sees it like a symbol of their love. 

3. Do they get jealous easily? If so, what usually causes it? She gets insecure, but she never acts on her jealousy. Often times, if women fawn over Hawks, she gets all up in her feels.

4. Are they a good gift-giver? What do they tend to give as gifts? She’s more of a practical gift giver. She pays attention to what someone really needs and she’ll get it for them.

5. What’s their reputation like? Does this reputation contrast what they’re really like? People (especially when she worked in the hospital) hail her as a good doctor but one with little to no social skills. She’s quiet, so a lot of people think she’s mean. Others, like her old boss, like her polite and respectable nature. 

6. Do they prefer to have a big social circle, or a few close friends? Definitely a few close friends. She’s content with Aizawa, Kayama, and Mic. 

7. What’s their “type”? What romantically attracts them to another person? Men who are confident! If one looks at her track record, her old boyfriends in high school were all jocks who loved the limelight. Hawks is cocky, but a lot of that haughtiness is a facade. She loves that he knows how to tone it down and come back to Earth. 

8. What does their dream house look like? She’s a simple woman: a modern white home with a huge lawn for a garden. She’s always wanted to plant sunflowers. I’m a huge horror fan, so for some reason, I’m envisioning the villa from The Human Centipede… Just the outside! eheh... is that weird?

9. If they could change one part of their appearance, what would it be? Shiemi is actually very lithe; her mother says she’s got no meat on her bones. She would love to bulk up! Also, her cup size is a B. She would change that, too, if she could.

10. What’s a simple thing that brings them joy? Well, Shiemi’s love language is acts of service. It really warms her heart when people help do things with or for her!

11. What is their dream pet? A cat! A fluffy white one. Maybe Aizawa had some influence on her? ❤️

12. What’s their position in their friend group? (leader, mom friend, chaos goblin, etc) The voice of reason. She likes to have practical fun! She’s not as rigid as Aizawa, but nowhere near as wild as Mic.

13. How forgiving are they? What do they consider unforgivable? Shiemi is definitely forgiving, so much so that it is sometimes her downfall. However, she believes there is no excuse for villainy.

14. Who do they go to in a crisis/emergency? Any particular reason why they choose that person? Hmmm, it’s funny because most people go to her in an emergency since she’s got that nifty healing Quirk haha! Shiemi has plenty of people to depend on like Midnight or Recovery Girl, but Hawks is the one she always turns to when she needs saving.

15. How good are they at conversation? Are they a small talk master, bad at initiating, etc? The only person she likes to make small talk with is Hawks, really. She’s not much a talker, and prefers to let others do the talking. This is why she and Aizawa click so well because they both can appreciate silence.

16. What food do they absolutely hate? She actually doesn’t care for greasy foods. Pizza, for example, upsets her tummy. 

17. Do they show a lot of affection, or are they pretty reserved? She’s not into PDA, but she loves to be held and kissed. When she’s sad, she almost always needs a hug. ❤️

18. If you had to represent them with a flower, colour, and animal, what would you choose? I feel like she’s more of a white lily, which I hear symbolizes humility and devotion. Her color would be blush pink, for her more timid nature and her affinity for that color. As for an animal, I think she’d be a snowshoe hare!

19. What’s their unusual quirk? (Quirk with a lowercase q, haha) Shiemi has always had very strong intrusive thoughts, and I’ve made this obvious from the first chapter. I based this on my own struggle with intrusive thoughts, so Shiemi and I can relate on the issue of fighting our inner voices to be better people.

20. Are they easy to wake up in the morning, or grouchy and sleepy? She’s an early bird! Very easy to wake up in the morning.

21. What’s their ideal date like? She loves night walks on the beach followed a busy night of makin’ love ;)

22. What’s their silliest or most unusual fear/phobia? Probably spiders. She’s not the type to scream when she sees one, but if it’s big and hairy, she’ll leave the room.

23. Is their pain tolerance high or low? Pretty low, all things considering. She knows how to fight, she just doesn’t like to because she can’t really handle her own.

24. Are they a fussy eater? Nope! She’ll try just about anything. She understands the importance of eating healthy, so she makes sure to eat her veggies every day. (Unlike me…)

25. What are their dreams like? As the writer, I’ve always made her dreams symbolic. They often reflect her true feelings or the things on her mind.

26. Are they technologically savvy? Yes! Working in the hospital, she’s a quick learner, and working in the hospital, she’s had to learn how to use all the equipment.

27. Are they forgetful? What do they tend to forget? (plans, phone, keys, etc) No, she tries to be very organized. The most that she forgets would be if she’s got a lot of work to do, she might forget one assignment.

28. Describe their morning routine. Open the curtains first (she needs sunlight), drink black coffee, watch the news, take a shower. Suuuper adult of her, I know. She’s a creature of habit!

29. Are they a good cook? If they are, what do they like to make? She’s an okay cook. Certainly not as good as Hawks! She can make basic food, but a lot of it lacks flavor -- something Hawks has had to teach her.

30. Do they consider themselves a “hero” or “villain”? Hero! Definitely. She’ll heal anyone in need, but she works for the heroes, on the side of good.

31. What holiday do they like the most? (Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, etc) Christmas. It’s the one time of year she gets to spend with her whole family. Even though tensions are high, she still loves her family more than anything.

32. What are they like at parties? Party animal, or awkwardly sitting in the corner drinking punch and reading? She’s the wallflower. She’d rather grab a bite to eat and sit back, people-watching.

33. Are they adventurous, or do they prefer to stay in their safe zone? She prefers to live life on the safe side. Though life with Hawks definitely makes things exciting!

34. What’s their favourite drink? (Coffee, tea, juice, hot chocolate, soda, etc) She loves coffee; preferably black coffee. Her go-to drink at Starbucks is a venti black cold brew or a cappuccino.

35. Are they good with children? Yes! Her serene nature tends to calm kids down. She especially used to love healing kids at the hospital.

36. Do they trust easily? What would you have to do to earn their trust? She’s normally very wary of people. She automatically has her guard up when approached by someone new, but honestly it doesn’t take much for her to let down her guard. For example, she was cautious of Twice when she met him, but once she saw that he and Mr. Compress needed help, she immediately dropped everything to help. Blame her big heart, I guess!

37. Are they a hopeless romantic, or is that stuff just not for them? God, YES!! When she first met Hawks, she tried to act all tough, but she’s such a SAP! In her relationships, she devotes everything to her significant other.

38. Do they get lost easily, or are they good with directions? Nah, she’s great with directions. She tries to have a good understanding of her surroundings.

39. Are they superstitious? She doesn’t believe in superstitions; she’s more of a woman of science.

40. Do they like physical activity, or staying inside? She enjoys a bit of both. She especially likes to go for walks, but doesn’t mind spending the whole day inside reading a book.

41. What would they dress up as for Halloween? A zombie nurse -- and I mean that in the laziest way possible. She would put on her uniform and paint her face and call it a day haha

42. Do they like fast food, or fancy restaurants? Fancy restaurants, for sure. She’s a bit of a snob. She’ll eat fast food if she’s on the go, but she grew up in the lap of luxury, and really enjoys the finer things in life.

43. Are they a chaotic bastard, pure angel baby, or tired mom friend? Pure angel baby. SHIEMI MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS.

44. Do they have a good attention span? Yes, especially when it comes to her friends. She’ll sit there and listen to someone talk for hours.

45. Are they always late, on time, or early? Shiemi thinks that if you’re not 15 minutes early, then you’re late.

46. Do they cry, gasp, laugh, etc, while reading a book, or do they remain relatively stone-faced? Stone-faced. She might furrow her brow if she’s into it, but she’s more internal with her reactions.

47. Do they keep a diary? She stopped carrying a diary when she was a teenager and her parents read through it without her permission.

48. How dramatic are they? She’s not haha She cries easily, but that’s just because she feels very deeply.

49. Do they put a lot of effort into their appearance, or do they just make themselves presentable and go? She’s comfortable with her looks, so she mostly curls her bangs and thinks it good to go.

50. Why would they be a good partner for a road trip? She would be president of the backseat! Delivering snacks, giving directions, listening to you talk and talk for hours!

51. Why would they be a BAD partner for a road trip? She’s not much for small talk. If it gets quiet, she’ll let it happen and whip out a book.

52. What topic should nobody bring up around them, lest the other person be subject to a massive ramble/rant? Anything bashing on heroes, or criticizing hero society. She’s so deep in it that she’s blinded to its flaws. She’ll defend Heroes till the day she dies.

53. Are they clumsy? No, she’s too cautious!

54. Are they a law breaker, or stickler for rules? Stickler for the rules. Not as bad as Iida hahaha but she doesn’t do anything she’s not supposed to. Blame her strict upbringing!

55. Choose a vine you think perfectly encapsulates their character. I LOVE THIS QUESTION! I feel like she’s: “Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does >:( ” or “Is there anything better than pussy? Yes, a really good book.” OOH, OR “How do you know what’s good for me? THAT’S MY OPINION!!”

56. Do they like to share? Yes, my girl is very giving  ❤️

57. What’s the most chaotic thing they’ve done? Have sex with a bird man she just healed the night before :U Shiemi has a high sex drive

58. Which friend do they immediately become a zero-braincelled idiot around? She gets all smitten around Hawks tbh She can compose herself around everyone except for him. Then she’s just a puddle of GOO

59. Do they love or hate surprises? She does not like surprises! They make her uncomfortable and awkward.

60. What sappy thing will they cry at? (romance movies, cute cat videos, etc) Would they deny crying about it later on? She’ll cry during sad movies, but she’s stopped being ashamed of being a crybaby

61. What’s their favourite and least favourite subject in school? Health and science are her best subjects, but her favorite was literature! Her least favorite was probably physical education just because it took her away from the books!

62. Do they take a lot of photos? If so, what of? She prefers professional photos; her camera roll is practically empty!

63. Do they wear makeup? Blush, mascara, foundation, but she only ever wears makeup for special occasions.

64. Describe what their social media would be like. Instagram: “NO PHOTOS” but plenty of tagged photos from Mic and Midnight. Facebook: articles on social issues or new medical breakthroughs.

65. Do they give people a lot of nicknames? No, she doesn’t, actually! 

66. What nicknames do others call them by? She thinks it’s sweet when people give nicknames to her -- e.g. “Doc,” “songbird,” or “sunshine.” Side note: I was really into Yagami Yato when I first started writing, so of course Hawks calls her “Baby bird.” And now I really regret not being more original because goddamn... I’m not gonna go back and change it because Yagami doesn’t own the nickname, but just know that I am upset

67. What’s an outrageous story about them nobody believes? Uhh, that’s a great question. I can’t think of anything, to be honest.

68. Are they easy to fluster? What would you have to do to truly fluster them? Yes! Despite being so cool, calm, and collected, it’s easy to make her blush. Hawks is a pro at getting her all worked up!

69. What’s their dream vacation like? She dreams of traveling, preferably somewhere along the Caribbean islands where she can bask in the sun and discover new plants and creatures.

70. Are they a good liar? She is a notoriously bad liar, mostly because it eats her away inside. She can make a lie work if she commits to it enough, but she’ll always come out with it eventually.

71. What do they want to do in the future? She wants a family. She’s always wanted to be a working woman and come home after a long day to her family. She wishes that a certain someone would be a stay-at-home dad...

72. How do they feel about love? Again, she’s a hopeless romantic. She believes in having strong bonds with both family and friends, but she does dedicate most of her energy into her romantic relationship. 

73. Are they more book smarts, or street smarts? oh my god, BOOK SMARTS. She wouldn’t last a day on her own out there, but man she could recite a whole scene from Shakespeare if you asked her to.

74. What’s their guilty pleasure? Sex. She doesn’t come off as promiscuous, but she would get some every day if she could.

75. Is there anyone they consider their rival? No, in fact Shiemi tends to keep to herself. She’s respectful and supportive of everyone. She does  have enemies, of course, like Dabi or Mr. Compress.

76. Do they have any notable physical features? Her eyes are described as gray, but they’re more purplish-gray. 

77. What’s their music taste like? Classical music takes up most of the space on her phone; Joe Hisaishi is a composer that she admires a lot.

78. What’s something they’re really bad at? Keeping her opinions to herself. She’s brutally honest, to a fault. 

79. Do they have a good sleep schedule? Yesss, her whole life runs on a schedule!

80. What’s their aesthetic sense like? Oh, I’m not sure how to answer this? 

81. What’s something they’re really proud of? Her degrees and awards make her feel accomplished. She has a hard time seeing her worth, but the diplomas on her wall are proof, to her, of what she can do. 

82. How would they spend a free day? In bed, reading a book, snuggled up beside Hawks  ❤️

83. What are they like as an s/o? Lowkey, kind of clingy. She loves attention and wants to spend all her time with her significant other, doting on them, making them feel good.

84. What’s one thing they like that they don’t want anyone to know about? Her sex drive (> w >);;

85. Do they have a sweet tooth? She doesn’t; she’s more of a savory or salty person. I actually really like this dichotomy between Hawks and Shiemi, for some reason? The fact that she takes her coffee black and he takes his sweet is kind of nice.

86. How would you describe their fashion sense? I once had a beautiful professor at university who only wore maxi skirts and nice blouses. Her fashion sense inspired my vision of Shiemi a lot. If she’s not wearing her hero uniform, you can find her in a pink maxi skirt and a white blouse.

87. Do they like spicy food? She can definitely handle her spice, but she wouldn’t choose it!

88. Are they lucky? Do they believe in luck? By all means, she has the worst luck! Can’t say that she believes in it, though.

89. What would they get into a petty argument over? Shiemi stands her ground on her opinions, but she’s more or less an agreeable person. She doesn’t like to argue or cause tension, but she will if it means standing up for herself.

90. Are they a good artist? She can’t draw and she’s got that doctor handwriting lmao

91. Do they prefer hot or cold weather? Hot! Shiemi’s Quirk is most powerful if she’s in direct sunlight. When the sun is behind the clouds, it takes more energy and time for her to heal someone. Despite all that time in the sun, the poor woman can’t tan!

92. Can they play an instrument? Her parents made her play piano when she was a child, but she doesn’t dabble in it anymore.

93. What type of movies do they like to watch? Romance and mysteries! Her favorite movie is Titanic. She cries every time!

94. What does their room look like? Neat and organized. She’s got a lot of bookshelves in her room and a nice set up for her computer space.

95. How do they feel about bugs? Scared? Fascinated? She’s fascinated by bugs, but from a distance. She won’t touch ‘em!

96. What’s their sense of humour like? (Dad jokes, morbid humour, basic knock-knock jokes, stand up comedy, etc) She laughs really hard at stand up comedy. Since she’s a little more serious, she can appreciate how goofy Hawks is!

97. What do they keep in their bag? Cell phone, earbuds, portable charger, folding scissors for emergencies, Band-Aids, and if she’s not wearing it, she’ll fold up her lab coat and put it in there, too.

98. How competitive are they? She’s only competitive with herself. She doesn’t have to be the best, but she can’t stand being the worst. (I’m the same way.)

99. What would they wear to a formal event? Describe their outfit! She actually wore that beautiful red dress in chapter 10! If you Google “Elizabeth Banks Vanity Fair 2020” it’ll pop up. 

100. If you, the creator, met them, would you two get along? Yes! I think that it’s impossible for any author/creator to make a character without at least adding some personal elements in them. Shiemi isn’t a self-insert, but she and I share a love of reading and we’re both overachievers. So I think she and I would make great friends!

[prosopopeya]

New Year’s Meme

this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.

5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.

9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.

14. Where did most of your money go?  food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s. 

this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)

we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.

christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.

this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.

23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.

24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.

OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:

25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.

26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE

27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”

anyway back to the rest of the quiz:

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.

26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.

28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!

34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.

37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.

38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron

[gruvia4ever0910]

My Miss Independent

CHAPTER 1: HEARTBREAKS

It is cold evening at the month of May, but the job of a fireman still continues. A group of a firefighters are trying their best to eliminate the fire that is spreading around the tall building. A man with a pink-colored hair named Natsu, who is the leader is ordering some men to focus on the entrance, so that a rescue team can go inside and look for some casualties.

There are two groups of the rescue team, Natsu is included. They enter the building with a complete gear, and he is instructing his team with their tasks then they all went to their assigned floor. Natsu is heading to the fifth floor with the other two firemen; their names are Loke and Gajeel. They are using the stairs since the elevator is impossible to use.

As they open the emergency door and starts searching the area, they see a middle old woman and a young boy, and both are hiding under the table.

Natsu: Let's go! Gajeel take the woman and you Loke take the boy…

Both: Yes Captain!

Natsu: I'll search for more casualties…

Gajeel and Loke walk towards to the two persons who needs assistance. They carry them and went back to the door. Natsu didn't find any more casualties in the room, so he follows Loke and Gajeel then walks out from the room.

They succeeded to rescue more people and after three hours the fire finally disappeared. There is no news of loss of human lives, just some injuries and Natsu and the other firemen are grateful for that.

***

Back to the station, Natsu is in the locker room removing his uniform; with a clear view of Natsu's body he is a lean, muscular young man of average height with a slightly tan skin tone. Then a man with black-colored hair, toned skin and muscular as well, named Gray appears then went to his given locker.

Gray: That was a great rescue…

Natsu: Yeah, it was…

Gray is also a captain like Natsu, but he is in a different group. Natsu is the captain of Group "A" and Gray is the captain of Group "B". Their groups were the one that was assigned from earlier incident. They are good friends. They knew each other since college, and they trained together to be a fireman.

Gray: You seems to be in a good mood…

Natsu: (smiling) Oh yeah… I'll be seeing Lisanna tonight…

Gray: Oh, I see…

Natsu: How about you? It is Sunday. Supposedly, it's your day-off. No date with your girl that you have no intention of introducing to us.

Gray: (smirks) Not anymore…

Natsu closes his locker then confusingly looks at Gray.

Gray: We broke up 2 days ago…

Natsu: Who let go? You or her?

Gray: For the first time in my life, it was a girl who broke up with me…

Natsu knew Gray when it comes to girls. Gray never took a relationship seriously and Natsu is always lecturing him about it.

Natsu: What, she found you cheating? (Gray laughs) I'll take that as a yes. You never learn Gray (pats Gray's shoulder). You are my best friend, but you need to change…

Natsu walks past him.

Natsu: I'll see you tomorrow… (left the locker room)

***

2 days ago.

A girl with a azure blue wavy hair, a snow skin complexion, and with a two beautiful midnight blue eyes; named Juvia was hiding behind a big and thick tree together with her best friend that has a mid-back length brown hair, with flawless tanned skin, and has a large brown eyes; her name is Cana.

Juvia: Cana, what are we doing here? I didn’t come here to hide behind this tree… (irritated)

Cana: You will know soon, just relax, will you? I did not force you to come here without a reason…

Juvia glanced at her friend and just rested her back on the tree. After a few minutes, Cana suddenly hit Juvia's shoulder and it surprised her.

Juvia: What?!

Cana: Show time (pointing her finger at the bench that was 20 meters away from where they were hiding) …

Juvia looked at where Cana was pointing her finger and she gasped with her eyes wide open. She was seeing a man who happened to be her boyfriend and he was with pale-skinned woman, dark purple hair, and brown eyes. They were so intimate; the man was stealing kisses from the girl.

Cana looked at Juvia and it may be hard for her to see her friend hurting, it was the only way for Juvia to believe her that her boyfriend was cheating on her.

Cana: I'm sorry for letting you see this, but it is the only option for you to believe me…

Juvia: (sighed) It's okay… I'm sorry if I didn't believe you before… (stood up straight then composed herself) Let's go, Cana. I still need to return to the restaurant…

Cana: But, what about them?

Juvia: (faced Cana) I don’t want you to be involved in this. I can deal with him later…

Cana: Are you sure?

Juvia: Yes… (walked away)

Back in her apartment, Juvia was sitting on the sofa with a laptop on her lap. Then her doorbell rang, she stood up then checks the small monitor and she saw the person she doesn't want to see anymore. She was just staring at the monitor and took a couple of minutes to open the door

Juvia greeted Gray with an emotionless expression, but he chose not to give it any attention. He went inside then leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek, but Juvia stopped him by pushing him lightly.

Gray: (frowned) What's the matter?

Juvia: (still with her poker face then sighed) You are no longer allowed to go here…

Gray: (smiled) What are you talking about?

He was trying to get close to her, but she was dodging his hands and it was making him annoyed.

Gray: Juvia…?!

Juvia: I saw you!

Gray: Saw me? What do you mean?

Juvia: Oh, please Gray! Stop denying it already! I saw you earlier at the park near where you work, and I was with Cana. You were with a girl and both of you were kissing each other and that was enough proof for me.

Gray can’t look at Juvia, and it was obvious that he was feeling guilty.

Juvia: You need to go, and I already packed your stuffs…

Juvia crossed her arms and just looking at him fiercely then Gray glanced at the bag near the door then back at Juvia.

Gray: Juvia, please… (walked towards her)

Juvia: (stepped backwards) Don’t touch me… I should've believed Cana before when she first saw you, but I chose not to because I trust you… But after what I saw, it's over now. So, please leave my apartment this instant.

Gray knew that Juvia doesn’t want to talk anymore, because when she sets her mind, it is final, and no one will change that. He nodded, then picked the bag, opened the door, took a last glanced at Juvia then left the apartment.

When Gray was gone, Juvia fell on the ground. She released the tension she was feeling and let go of the tears she's been holding a while ago. She tried to compose herself in front of him, but when he left, she just had to let all the emotions she's been hiding.

***

Natsu just parked his car in the parking area of the restaurant called, Lluvia. It is small, but a well-known restaurant in Magnolia and it is towns favorite. The restaurant opened a year ago, and it bloomed quickly because of its delicious meal, very cozy, the ambiance is pleasant, and most importantly; a friendly staff, including the owner itself.

Natsu opens the door of the restaurant and the staffs immediately greeting him. He smiles at them then immediately spots his girlfriend. He waves at her and she just gives him a half-smile. He kisses her on her cheek then sits on the chair in front of her.

Natsu: I have got to admit, this is a really nice restaurant…

The girl just smiles again, and she is avoiding his eyes. He then senses that something is wrong.

Natsu: Lisanna, are you okay?

Lisanna: Uhm, yes. Why don’t we order first?

Natsu: Hmm, sure. I'm already starving…

Lisanna calls the waiter then when they are done ordering, they look back at each other.

Lisanna: So, how’s work?

Natsu: (grins) Earlier, we had another fire incident. Luckily, no one died and just a few people who got injured. How about yours?

When Lisanna is about to answer Natsu, a sudden noise interrupted them. Not only them, but the whole customers in the restaurant. When Natsu turns around, he saw a woman customer just slaps the girl waiter.

Woman: Are you blind?! Look what you have done! My dress is ruined!

Girl waiter: I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn’t mean to ---

Woman: I don't care! How are you going to compensate me! Where is your manager?!

A woman with long white hair, with large blue eyes, and curvy body named Mira approaches the woman who is causing the disturbance calmly. Natsu recognizes the woman with long white hair and he looks back at Lisanna who gives him another half-smile.

Mira: Hello, ma'am. My name is Mira and I am the manager…

Woman: Great. Now, I need my money back. (pointing a finger at the waiter and Mira) This dumb waiter of yours spilled the drinks on me!

Waiter: (Mira looks at the waiter) I swear Manager, it is not my fault. Someone tripped me…

Woman: Really? You are defending yourself?

All the attention is with them, even Natsu is curious of what will happen next even if their foods are already been served. The manager is talking calmly with the woman, but the noisemaker is not making it easy for them.

Then suddenly, a woman with a slender curvaceous figure and blue wavy hair passes by Natsu's table. His eyes follow the woman and she stop beside the white-hair woman.

Mira: Juvia…

Woman: And who are you? Are you going to solve what is happening here?

Juvia: As a matter of fact, I do ma'am…

Woman: How?!

Juvia: You don’t need to shout, ma'am. Can we please talk in my office, so we can't disturb other customers…?

Woman: And why would I follow you? You need to fire this waiter of yours! And you didn't answer my question. Who are you?

Juvia: (smiles) I am the owner of this restaurant, ma'am. Juvia is my name. There are surveillance cameras here, so we can check what really happened and I can decide from there…

Woman: I am not going with you…

Juvia: (sighs) Alright, if you don’t want to, I'm not going to force you… (the woman smirks)

Woman: Compensate me then I'll leave…

Even if Natsu is not part of the commotion, he is getting pissed of the woman. He thinks that the blunette is handling the situation very well and he can't help but smile.

Juvia: I am afraid I can’t do that, ma'am. (Juvia faces at Mira) Can you please get my tablet in my office…

Mira: Of course.

Mira hurriedly went to Juvia's office and just a few minutes she came back with the tablet. Juvia took the tablet and began watching the footage then shows it to the woman.

20 minutes earlier, actually Juvia already saw what happened. She was watching it from her computer. Since Mira approached the scene, she waited but when she saw that the woman was pointing her finger to the waiter and Mira, she decided that it was time to step in.

Juvia: It is very clear ma'am that you were the one who tripped my staff on purpose and it just happened that she spilled the drinks in your direction. I am not permitting anyone to insult my staffs, especially if it is not their fault and you are no longer allowed to set foot in my restaurant. That is your compensation…

The woman is now being cornered and because the evidence is clear, Juvia did make a fair decision. The customers awed with what Juvia did to the customer and with her staff and a certain pink-haired man is also amazed.

***

It is now back to normal, Natsu and Lisanna are done eating their meal, but Lisanna is now feeling uneasy and it is bothering Natsu.

Natsu: Lisanna, are you alright? I've been observing you and you look like you want to say something to me. (Lisanna stares nervously at him) What is it?

Lisanna: Natsu… (biting her lower lip)

Natsu: Tell me…

Lisanna: (releases a big sigh) Let's break up…

Natsu is confused for a second, he is just looking at Lisanna.

Natsu: What did you just say?

Lisanna: (her expression became firm) I said, let's break up. I don’t love you anymore Natsu…

Natsu: W-w-wait… Lisanna, you can't be serious…

Lisanna: I am… I found someone and I love him… He can provide more for me…

Natsu: What do you mean? I can also provide for you…

Lisanna: It is not enough, Natsu… I want my life (rolls her eyes) --- I don’t need to explain it to you. I need more Natsu and you can't give me that (stands up) … I'm sorry, but we are over…

Lisanna left the restaurant, leaving Natsu alone with an unclear reason. He can’t believe what just happened. "She wants more. She needs more.". He thought. The girl he loves the most and willing to do everything for her just left him.

***

3 months later…

The room is filled with fire fighters and there is an old man who is standing in front of them and explaining some details to them. Makarov Dreyar, the Fire Chief of Magnolia Fire Station.

While Makarov is still talking, he notices that one person is not paying attention. He calls his name, but he didn’t get any answer and he keep on calling this person’s name.

Loke: Natsu…

No response again, Loke punches Natsu's shoulder really hard and finally Natsu is back in his senses.

Natsu: (stares at Loke with a frown on his face) What was that for?!

Loke: Chief's been calling you…

Natsu looks at their Chief who has a serious glare.

Makarov: Everything okay, child?

Natsu: (clears his throat) Yes, I'm sorry…

Makarov: As I was saying --- (he continues to explain some details to the fire fighters)

Inside the locker room, Natsu is just sitting then he receives a smack on his head. When he looks up, a tall and muscular man with a blonde hair and has a lightning bolt scar on his right eye is looking at him with an angry stare.

Natsu: Laxus! Can anyone of you stop hitting me!

Laxus: What is your problem?

Loke: Yeah man. What happened to you? You've been really distracted these past months…

Natsu didn’t answer the questions that's been throwing at him, instead he just looks down on the ground.

Laxus: Look Natsu (his arms are crossed), as your group's Deputy Chief, I want you to focus… I don’t want to see anymore flaws in our next mission. You've been making a lot of mistakes and I don’t need that, especially if saving lives is our job…

Natsu: I'm sorry… It will never happen again…

Laxus: I'm counting on that… (walks away)

Natsu stands up then walk towards his locker, he opens it and his eyes falls on Lisanna's picture. He remembers the day when Lisanna broke up with him and he sighs.

Gray: You need to forget her, flamebrain… It's been 3 months…

Natsu: (smirks) Easy for you to say. Oh yeah, it is easy for you because you are good at that…

Gray groan angrily at Natsu, but Loke stands between them.

Loke: Relax both of you…

Loke pushes Gray slightly, telling him to leave Natsu alone and he did. He pats Natsu's shoulder then also gives Natsu a space. Loke is also a close friend of Natsu, they became really close when they were placed on the same team.

On the other side of the room, another tall man (not as tall as Laxus) with a long black hair, has red eyes with no eyebrows, and has tan-skinned is just watching them then give them his unique way of laughing, "Gihihi".

Loke: What are you laughing at Gajeel?!

Gajeel: All of you has problem with girls…

Loke: (smirks then roll his eyes) As if you don’t have one!

Natsu closes his locker holding his phone, then sits beside Loke.

Natsu: Oh yeah, metal head. You think we don’t know? You've been eyeing one of our Inspectors, the petite blunette… (smiles)

Loke: Oh man, Natsu's right…  (faces Gajeel) So? No progress?

Gajeel: I don’t know what you are talking about.

Gajeel pouts, closes his locker with a little of force then left them. Natsu and Loke laughs with their friend child act. When Gajeel is gone, Loke faces Natsu with a serious look on his face.

Loke: Natsu…

Natsu: Hmm…?

Loke: This is off the topic, but why don’t you try to date someone again? Or maybe do a blind date?

Natsu: (soft laughs) A blind date? I don’t know man. I'm not into that kind of thing…

Loke: There is no harm in trying… Lucy told me that she has a friend who is also single and really pretty… I’ll talk to Lucy so she can set the two of you…

Natsu: I'm okay, Loke…

Loke: No, you are not… I can see that… Ever since Lisanna left you, you were acting different… You are supposed to be fun, energetic, and always smiling, but I cannot see that anymore…

Natsu: How is Lucy? I haven’t seen her in a while…

Loke: Don’t change the subject, but she is fine… We are doing pretty well… (smiling shyly while rubbing the back of his head, he is also blushing)

Natsu: (half-smiles) Good for you…

Loke: So, what do you say?

Natsu: I don’t know… (stands up) I'll think about it…

Loke: Yosh! I'll tell Lucy…

 ***

It is a great afternoon, but Juvia just wants to remain in their apartment. Juvia and her best friend Lucy are sharing an apartment. She moved out from her previous apartment 2 months ago and when Lucy was looking for a new apartment, they decided to look and live together.

Lucy is working in Heartifilia Publishing Company as an editor-in-chief, and it is owned by her family. Yes, she is rich.

Juvia and Lucy has a different family background. Lucy came from a wealthy family, but she chose to be simple and not live with a silver spoon in her mouth. Her mom died when she was still a kid due to an illness while her dad is focused more on their family businesses. When her mom died, her father stopped giving her attention, she was raised by her nanny. When she reached the right age, she decided to leave their mansion and find a work on her own, her father agreed of her leaving the mansion, but he gave her a condition of working in one of their businesses and she chose the publishing company because it is always been Lucy's dream to become a writer.

While Juvia was raised in the orphanage, she didn’t know her biological parents. She was adopted at the age of ten and her adoptive parents were sent by angel's. They treated Juvia as their own and they really loved her. A car accident happened, and it killed both of her adoptive parents. In the age of 15, it was the start of her life to be on her own, but her adoptive parents did not leave her with nothing. They gave her quite enough funds and she used some for her education, tried different jobs to earn more money, and she worked hard to pursue her dream.

Juvia and Lucy were in the same university and they met because of a friend. Then they started to be more comfortable with each other and became close friends.

Juvia just got out from the bathroom near her room and she is only wearing a towel and it is still showing her curvaceous shape. When she enters her room, Lucy is sitting on her bed with a bright smile on her face.

Juvia: (raises one brow) I know that smile. What now?

Lucy: (stands excitedly) Well, I talked to Loke earlier and he said that his friend agreed to do a blind date…

Juvia: Okay…? Why are you telling me this?

Lucy: (holds both if Juvia's hand) Because you are going to be his blind date…

Juvia: What?! Lucy…! You know that I'm not into that kind of thing…

Lucy: (laughs) That what Natsu told Loke too…

Juvia: Natsu? So, you know him?

Lucy: Well, yes…

Juvia: Okay, wait. Can we talk about this later and let me put some clothes first…?

Lucy: Oh yeah… Okay, I'll wait for you outside… (she went out from Juvia's room while humming)

Few minutes later, Juvia comes out from her room and she sees Lucy sitting on the sofa while watching her favorite program on the television. Lucy pats the sofa, telling Juvia to sit beside her. Juvia rolls her eyes, but still sits beside Lucy.

Lucy: So, do you agree?

Juvia: No, I don’t have time for that (focuses on the tv) …

Lucy: Oh, come on, Juvia. It's been three months; you need to move on…

Juvia: (faces Lucy) I already moved on. It is just that I'm busy with the restaurant…

Lucy: You're busy, but you are here?

Juvia: It’s my day off…

Lucy: But still…

Juvia: And how do you know this guy?

Lucy: He was my classmate in high school, we are good friends and it just happened that Loke and Natsu has the same job…

Juvia: (stares at Lucy with a questioning look) He is also a fire fighter?

Lucy gasps when realized that Juvia's ex-boyfriend is also a fire fighter.

Lucy: Do you think they knew each other?

Juvia: Possibly, you mentioned that Loke is in Magnolia Fire Station, right? (Lucy nods) Gray is there as well…

Lucy: So, his name is Gray… Well, you never mentioned anything about this ex-boyfriend of yours; except that you two broke up…

Juvia: You also did the same with this Loke…

Lucy: You know that I'm not introducing the guys that I'm seeing unless it is serious, and I don't know anything about this Gray as well…

Juvia: Because he was busy playing with someone else… (suddenly frown) Wait, so this thing between you and Loke…

Lucy: About that, (smiles) I think this time is serious and I am going to introduce him to you, I swear…

Juvia just smiles then she stands up, walk towards the kitchen and Lucy follows her.

Lucy: Juvia…?

Juvia: (sighs) I don’t know…

Lucy: Natsu is a good guy. He is one of the sweetest men I've ever met…

Juvia: Are you sure that you and this guy never dated?

Lucy: (eyes widen) No, (shaking her head) we never did. He is my friend, but he is not my type…

Juvia: Lucy…

Lucy: Just try it… If you and Natsu didn't worked out pretty well, I will never force you to go on a blind date again…

Juvia: Are you forcing me because he is your friend?

Lucy: Yes, and I'm sure he will treat you well… He is a fire fighter, he saves lives…

Juvia: (sits on the dining chair) Are you forgetting that the last guy that I dated is also a fire fighter and he cheated on me…

Lucy: (smacks Juvia's shoulder) Natsu is different… Maybe he is the fire fighter that is meant for you…

Juvia: I don’t know about that, but (sighs) fine…

Lucy: (gasps) Really? (shaking Juvia's shoulder)

Juvia: Yes, stop shaking me, but only this time…

Lucy: Sure, sure. Oh mavis! I'm going to call Loke now…

Lucy excitedly jumps from the chair then went to her room.

[papermoonloveslucy]

LUCILLE BALL: NUMBER 1, BUT STILL TRYING HARDER

July 29, 1974

Editor's note: following is the final part in a series of eight profiles on America's self-made women.

By PHYLLIS BATTELLE 

“Success - whaddya you mean by that?” rasps Lucille Ball in that rowdy voice which strikes adoration into the hearts of Lucy lovers. 

“If your concept of success is happiness in what you’re doing, in being a mother, in being a wife, then I’m a success. I’m also damned lucky that I have my health and guts life takes guts and that my work paid off. 

“But if you’re talking of the kind of success that’s about dollars and cents, forget it. The real wealth is not out here in Hollywood. Its all highly taxable, honey, and who cares? Money has never been important to me. I hate looking at bills. I hate math. I’m a typical Leo: money-blind. What I’m saying is that not one of us out here has more than $25,000 to buy a stamp with! 

“Pennies, Pickles Or Something" 

So much for Lucy’s petty cash. Aside from stamp funds, she has assets: a million-dollar home in Beverly Hills, another in Palm Springs and an apartment near Aspen, Colo.; investments resulting from the sale of her Desilu Studios to Gulf & Western for $17 million in stock, her own Lucille Ball Productions Company: earnings from 23 years of “Lucy” series (now running in 77 countries); a percentage of “Mame”, the new super-movie musical; not to mention the proceeds from diligent work dating back to 1913, when she was two years old in Jamestown, N.Y., and spoke little pieces at the grocery store for pennies or pickles or something. 

At 62, Lucille Ball Arnaz Morton is No. 1 - but still trying harder. (1) Husband Gary Morton says proudly, “Her work is an obsession and a labor of love, and as long as the public likes her shell never retire.” 

Lucy recently did terminate her “Here’s Lucy” series, at least temporarily, but will hold her "business family” (about 500 staff and cast members) together while she produces TV specials. Now, she leers at her orange-haired image in a dressing room minor and says, “I’ve loved to work, always. I discovered very early that the way to please people was to make them laugh at me. So I appeared at church, school, Girl Scouts, anything and anywhere. Made the tickets, sold them, starred in my own shows. That seems backward now. That’s gone out. The business has been hanging itself, and the kids with it, by making stars and superstars out of strange, young people who don’t know their craft."

Drums And Records 

An example, Lucy says, could be found in her own son, Desi Arnaz, Jr. "When he was nine, he was very good on drums. Used to beat them while the records played as background. He got a group together with a couple of kids at school Dino Martin and Billy Hinsche and they called themselves Dino, Desi and Billy. Then Sinatra heard them, and they made a record and had a hit. 

"A magazine took off on them, and they went on tour. Poor waifs - thank God, they didn’t have any more hits. But it left its mark, this being made a star when you don’t know anything at all, and after two years it was damn hard for Desi and the other kids to get back to doing their homework." 

That sort of "big payoff for mediocrity" was not what happened in Lucy's own youth. Her family in Jamestown was "lower than middle-class, hard working, had a truck garden and was never hungry." 

Most Influential Man 

Lucy's father, a mining engineer, died when she was four. (2) Her stepfather was the most influential man in her early life. To encourage young Lucy’s "flair," he took her to see Julius Tannen, a monologist. (3) “When I saw Tannen sitting on a empty stage in a dark theater, making people cry and then laugh - oh, it was magic, pure magic," she recalls. 

At 16, she went to New York, where her stepfather entered her in drama school. "I found out how shy, awkward and unable to cope I was. The teachers put me down, said I had no talent whatever.” Lucy's blue eyes flash. “New York frightened me. Still does. You have to take me out of the hotel on a leash to get me on the streets of New York today. Being tall, lithe and well-sculptured, Lucy took up modeling. But then, almost tragically, she contracted pneumonia with complications and was bedridden for eight months. It took three years of convalescence before she regained complete control of her legs. At 21, through an agent, she was hired to become a Sam Goldwyn showgirl in Hollywood for an Eddie Cantor film, “Roman Scandals”. 

Would Take Any Part 

“Out here in California, I knew as much as the rest of the girls in movies, which was nothing,” she says. “The difference was I would take any part. I never sought to be a star. I didn't mind being typed. I wanted to be typed. One of the greatest thrills of my life was hearing a director say he wanted a Lucille Ball-type for a picture. 

Of course, later it was different, she growls, "when they said they wanted a young Lucille Ball-type. 

In 10 years as willing “Queen of the B movies," Miss Ball was out of work only two days. 

In 1939 she met a young Cuban bandleader named Desi Arnaz, and they married in 1940. From the beginning, their marriage was a difficult venture: Desi toured the United States with his group, while she stayed in Hollywood making movies. Then Desi served in the army, while Lucy starred not in films but a popular radio series, “My Favorite Husband”. They split. They tried again. 

Finally, in 1951, in a desperate move to keep their marriage alive. Lucy sold CBS on what, at the time, seemed an unlikely television series: "I Love Lucy.” 

It was the beginning of greater professional success, but not the end of domestic upheaval. Their first child, Lucie, was born when her mother was 40; Desi was born when Lucy was 43. But the much-adored children were not to save the marriage, and in 1960 - tearfully, knowing her diligent efforts had failed - Lucille divorced Desi, citing his outbursts of temperament, instability and violence. Desi did not contest the action. 

In parting, they split a $20-million television empire. They are better friends today - at arms length, with new matrimonial ties - than they were during the 19 years of marriage. 

Today, Lucy’s sense of well-being with one-time comedian Gary Morton (who is executive vice president of her production company), is obvious and delightful.

"It s really a super life, grins Gary, living with a thoroughbred." Says Lucy, I guess its very possible to live without a good man. Possible, but no fun. To bake a cake is no fun without a man. It’s no fun to make a garden without a man to watch it grow." 

Lucy also is, and always has been, a proud and over-protective mother. Is that bad? I don’t think so." 

A Share Of Problems 

But despite Lucy’s mother-hen" closeness to Lucie, now 22, and young Desi. 20, the Arnaz offspring have strayed into their share of problems. Desi and actress Patty Duke had a much-publicized affair when he was 16 (and Patty was 28); later he became engaged to Liza Minnelli, but that broke up last summer. Lucie was married in 1971 to actor Philip Vandervort, but the couple quickly split. 

Lucy is convinced her daughter, who is featured on “Here’s Lucy," will be a star. “Lucie," her mom says, “has all the material of stardom - ability, inclination, vitality, intelligence, beauty, good sense and good taste. 

“Wholesome Movies Alive" 

In fact, one reason that Lucille Ball finally agreed after three years of rejecting the role to star in the movie “Mame” is that Gary convinced me it could keep wholesome movies alive for talented people like my daughter. 

"This industry," Lucy shudders, “has turned into a sex-and-violence factory. The whole thing’s ugly, with thousands of ugly people ripping-off their clothes and ripping-off the public. If that’s what makes good box office, and if box office is what they mean by success, then success is out of kilter!”

#   #   #

FOOTNOTES FROM THE FUTURE

(1) The advertising slogan “We Try Harder” was developed in 1962 for Hertz Rent-A-Car company, who was perpetually number two in popularity to Hertz Rent-A-Car. Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett satirized the campaign on “The Carol Burnett Show” on October 2, 1967. 

(2) Henry Ball, Lucille’s father, was actually a telephone lineman, not a mining engineer. One story had Hunt as the executive of a mining company in Montana. his death certificate listed him as a ‘laborer’. 

(3) Julius Tannen (1880-1965) was a monologist in vaudeville. He was known to stage audiences for his witty improvisations and creative word games. He had a successful career as a character actor in films, appearing in over 50 films in his 25-year film career. He is probably best known to film audiences from the musical Singin' in the Rain, in which he appears as the man demonstrating a talking picture early in the film.

[monstaxeurope]

Shownu:  Beauty+ Interview

Shownu is a bit unique. He has almost no desire and strong ambition that is common in the entertainment industry. He's not overly excited and doesn't brag about the promotions in America that heated up overseas press in the beginning of this year.

 "(I want) to have a beer with our members after successfully finishing our schedule" is all he says. On KakaoTV's <Face ID> Minhyuk said: "I don't know what kind of person he is. He seems pretty busy but doesn't really do anything, he's mysterious." He said it jokingly but he's not actually wrong. He does his best and with no complaints accepts all the work given to him, just like an athlete. In this era where vanity is "eating up" the society his healthy and honest appearance might look mysterious to someone. Especially if a person doubts "could a human, who is exactly the way he looks from the outside, actually exist". You should meet Shownu. He doesn't really hate anything. It's faster if we just talk to him about the things he likes. He likes baseball hats, cars, games and analog (things). He recently watched <Fight Club> and liked it. "Brad Pitt's character remains in my memory. It was interesting how he expressed the fictitious character. The movie was also visually fresh." "Did you watch the movie because you paid homage to it in the ‘Love Killa’ MV?" "No."(laugh) Do you know what I mean?

After watching <Face ID> I noticed you have a lot of apps on your phone and you're subscribed to a lot of youtube channels. How would you explain your day with apps, youtube content etc.?   SH: When I wake up in the morning I listen to youtube music mix whether I am going somewhere or I'm exercising.‘R&B pop to enjoy a drowsy afternoon’‘Chill hip hop that makes your dirty corner of the room seem hip’ etc., it depends, I choose the one I like at the moment.I also listen to this before sleep. I also watch exercise knowledge or diet management videos on youtube a lot. I practice doing it when I need to take care of myself more. There are times we play games with members too. In the evening I watch 20-minute movie summary of an originally 2 hour long movie. Recently I've been watching a lot of cooking videos too.

You released 3rd full album <Fatal Love> and promoted song ‘Love Killa’. How would you rate this album and stage? SH: I got hurt here and there a lot in the past but this time not only me but also all of the members had no injuries, we were able to finish with no problems so I'm happy. Our fans loved it too. I especially like that ‘Love Killa’ has a clearer concept when compared to our past tracks. MV had a theme too. I think we expressed the precise colours of our music and stage well. The choreography wasn't stronger or more agressive than in the past, but we stood on stage with more confidence than ever. This gave us power while promoting.

Where does that confidence come from? SH: Should I say we took a bit more of a relaxed approach this time, our image is not as strong as it was in our past releases. Love Killa's colour is clear so we discussed between us a lot and while practicing it we gained a lot of confidence. I feel like our understanding of the song got better.

If you watch ‘Love Killa’ stage you can see only Shownu wears a crop top now and then, whose decision was it?  SH: I never said I was gonna wear a short jacket.(laugh) I think it was on the MV set when I first wore the jacket and it was short. Rather than saying I was the only one wearing a special outfit, we all wore different clothes. Someone wore a crop top, someone only wore a jacket with no shirt inside it, someone a shirt with tattoo patterns, someone covering all with a turtleneck.

Since your debut Monsta X got a lot of attention for lifting shirts and showing abs on stage, what do you think about that kind of performance? Do you have the confidence that this is Monsta X's colour? SH: While thinking about music colour, ideas like ‘how would it look like if we show some skin here, what about a tattoo shirt in this part’ pop up, so we decide on a performance we think would suit our song the most. It'd be nice if you think of it as an artistic approach to match the song's vibe. I never thought it doesn't fit well or that it feels foreign.

Monsta X always shows a strong energy on stage, but what about practice, how powerful is it? SH: Not as powerful/strict as you'd think. It's much better to dance to the song twice than doing it 10 times alone in the practice room. That way I get more energy and that kind of practice is more effective. Tension goes up when someone is doing the same movements next to you. That doesn't really happen no matter how much you practice in front of a mirror alone. I get exhausted quickly if I dance alone.

What do you mostly have in mind when dancing on stage? SH: If there is a move I don't like when practising, I concentrate on it and practice that part more. But after that I don't really think about it on stage (anymore). I only think about how I'll do it in the practice room. If I overexaggerate and try too much on stage it's rather a failure. It also doesn't look pretty.

Do you believe in yourself this much because you know you practiced a lot beforehand? SH: That is also the case, but even if I don't practice a lot I don't really think about it on stage.(laugh)

You took major steps in your career this year with the release of first full album in the USA, 8th mini album <Fantasia X> and 3rd full album <Fatal Love>. It will most probably stay in your mind as an eventful year. Do you have a feeling Monsta X took a step forward this year? SH: Truthfully, I'm not sure if we made a leap forward.(laugh) It's just something like ‘We did our best this time too, we promoted actively this year too’. We've been saying we want to become singers, a team, who keep developing and show growth since long time ago, but I'm really not sure if we made a leap and if we showed any growth. I do think we did our best. We had a strong will to confront everything in front of us all the time with no need to look back later. I do think ‘I need to do better next time’ sometimes, because it's not always a ‘very satisfying result’. ‘We finished it well, we worked hard, we need to do even better next time’. This way I'll make more effort (in the future).

Is there a specific part that you feel is lacking? SH: We're not attached to charts that much, but it's always good to get a lot of attention. There's nothing that I feel is lacking, I just think ‘we should always try our best, let's do better next time’.

Was there a reason for your US promotions to be focused more on vocals than your unique strong performances? SH: It wasn't a strategic change. The album's title and theme are ‘All About Luv’, so everything about love. After collecting songs with that theme I guess it just ended up being a more sensitive album. I like albums like this too.

5th place on Billboard 200 Chart, attending Jingle Bell tour 2 years in a row etc., you're showing good results in the US and overseas market in general, what do you think is the reason you are exceptionally popular overseas? SH: It might sound like an obvious answer but I think we got a big amount of fans because a lot of older and younger K-pop artists established the foundation there. I don't know if it's because our group's atmosphere is good but everytime we come from stage or come back from meeting the media, everyone talks good about us. It also helps a lot in the US market to have members who are good in English. One thing is that the whole album is in English, but for fans (us speaking English) might make it even more special and easier to support us.

Is there a Monsta X song you especially like? SH: I like "All I Do". Because it's a song with a medium tempo.  

You participated with OST 'I'll be there' for drama <Tale of the Nine-Tailed> and featured in PREP's song 'Don't look back'. Is there a genre or a specific style of song you'd like to try?  SH: Not really. I get thoughts like 'This song fits me well', 'This one doesn't work well for me'. But I also think 'What could I be good at?' 'I'll Be There' was a really hard song for me. 'Why is this song this hard for me?' I was really curious what the reason was. I don't express my opinion that much when it comes to song and album concepts. I just want to become a person, who sings songs given to me well and is good at expressing myself when it comes to dancing on stage.

You are participating as a judge on audition program <Cap-Teen>. What do you focus on when watching an applicant's performance? SH: I think I mostly look at (the applicant's) charm and the feeling they give off. Even if they don't dance really well, if their face expressions are good and they are witty, it can still be considered charming. I personally like a simple and refreshing style of dancing.

I feel like you will think of the past while filming <Cap-Teen>? SH: Can't help it, the memories come to mind, yes. The times, when I had no definite plans yet, wasn't a trainee or part of a company yet. And to be able to give even the slightest advice to them is very meaningful to me.

What was your goal when you first debuted 5 years ago? SH: 5 years ago I had this vague thought ‘I want to become the best, I want to become number 1 singer’. That's because I knew nothing at the time.  Now I think ‘Let's be nice to our fans, let's be grateful’. If our fans personally come watch us on stage or if they only watch our videos. ‘Let's do our best for all kind of stages’ is our main thought. I think all of this makes us more grateful.

So you're trying your best to be good to your fans? If we look at Shownu related keyword search there's a ‘video call fansign’. You said ‘I left my jacket opened just for this fansign’ and it became a hot topic. SH: Am I really? I don't think that's me. I am not good when it comes to flirting and making witty comments. I also lack in freshness and don't have the strengths I should possess as an idol, which always makes me feel sorry for the fans who like me. There must be fans who want selfies, but I rarely take them. They just don't come out well. Nevertheless I can upload them after using photoshop so I've been trying to take more lately. It's still hard though. So I'm trying to repay fans in other ways.

This year is almost at its end, what kind of thoughts are in your head now that only 1 month is left? SH: Firstly, I want to finish this year well and turn over the "year 2020" page. I hope it ends well with no problems. As of now team promotions are really precious to me. There's a member who released a mixtape, another one is an MC, our individual activities are increasing this way. I want to keep working like this, doing some individual activities while also doing our best as a team.

When new year comes, one can feel fear and anxiety. Do you have this feeling when you think of the future? SH: I am not someone who thinks of this deeply, I don't live looking far into the future. Just doing my best and working on things in front of me at the time got me far all of a sudden. I don't feel anxious about the future, I think doing my best now will help me grow with time. I believe I'll get there at some point.

And, what is in front of you right now? SH: We have an English interview later at night. Then, I need to concentrate on our dance practice for our special stage that's going to be a part of year-end award ceremony next week. My goal is to pull off these well.

Do you have a favorite Christmas song? SH: ‘This Christmas’. It's a very old song and I heard it since I was young. I like it because it's less known than other carols. A lot of singers covered this song, but I especially like Donny Hathaway's version of it. I liked Chris Brown's version too but I've cut ties with him.(laugh)

This magazine's name is BEAUTY+ so I want to ask, what is something you considered pretty recently? SH: I think the staff gathered here today for the photoshoot are really pretty, because they're doing their respective work very well.

뷰티쁠 BEAUTY+  | Scan Reference Translation KR-ENG: Monsta X Europe

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 295

THE GOLDEN RATIO

It is very obvious that there is an amazing system at work in the universe. Words are usually insufficient to explain this perfection. Therefore, one must refer to the different language and approach of mathematics. Characteristics found in events and structures that are similar, but seem unconnected with one another indicate that there is a Creator who is the Absolute Ruler of the entire universe. In this article, we will discuss a unique number in mathematics, the Golden Ratio, and its place in the universe, as well as its history, its usage in art and in aesthetics.

The appeal of the Golden Ratio to the human eye and brain has been scientifically tested. When subjects are presented with a range of rectangles, people invariably pick out as most pleasing ones those whose sides are of the Golden Ratio. This golden number is the basic number at work in aesthetics; there are even claims that the Golden Ratio was used by Leonardo da Vinci when painting the Mona Lisa, and by the Greeks in building the Parthenon. But the surprising thing is that a number deemed aesthetically pleasing by human beings also crops up in nature and science. In a newly published article in Physical Review B, it is stated that the Golden Ratio appears in the structures of some metals. The Golden Ratio is seen in the arrangement of seeds on flower heads, in the spirals of sea shells and galaxies, even in black holes. This ratio can be found almost everywhere in the universe.

Although the Greek mathematician Euclid first defined the Golden Ratio in around 300 BC, the followers of Pythagoras probably knew of it two centuries earlier. Euclid defined it as a line that can be divided into two unequal parts (Figure 1), where the ratio of the smaller part of the line to the longer part is the same as the ratio of the longer part to the whole. This ratio is 1.6180339887..., the Golden Number.

What makes the Golden Ratio special is the number of mathematical properties it possesses. The Golden Ratio is the only number whose square can be produced simply by adding 1 and the reciprocal of which can be arrived at by subtracting 1. If you take a Golden Rectangle – that is a rectangle where the length-to-breadth ratio is equal to the Golden Ratio, and take out a square, what remains is another, smaller Golden Rectangle. Also, think of any two numbers. Make a third by adding the first and second, a fourth by adding the second and third, and so on. If you start with 7 and 11, then what you have is:

7, 11, 18, 29, 47, 76... When you have written down approximately 20 numbers, calculate the ratio of the last to the penultimate: the answer should approximate the Golden Number.

In mathematical terminology it is (an/an-1) equals to the Golden Ratio.

Another example of the Golden Ratio is the Fibonacci Numbers, that is a number series where each number is simply the sum of the previous two numbers. These numbers are 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55... The ratio between any two successive Fibonacci numbers approaches the Golden Ratio as the numbers get larger. We can find the Fibonacci series particularly in the spirals of sea shells and in the arrangement of seeds on sunflower heads.

It was the elusive nature of the Golden Ratio that led the Italian friar and mathematician Luca Pacioli to equate it with the incomprehensibility of God. In the 15th century, he wrote a three-volume treatise, Divina Proportione (Divine Proportion), that was crucial in the dissemination of the Golden Ratio beyond the world of mathematics. After him, many artists, architects, and musicians used the Golden Ratio in their works; for example, musicians such as Debussy and Bartok and the architect Le Corbusier

Let’s examine the arrangement of leaves on the stem of the plant Phyllotaxis. As each new leaf grows, it does so at an angle offset from the leaf below. The most common angle between successive leaves is 137.5 degrees – the Golden Angle; 137.5=3d 360-360/G, where G is the Golden Ratio. Why does the Golden Ratio play a role in the arrangement of leaves? It is all down to the irrationality of the number. A new leaf must collect sunlight without throwing too much of a shadow on the leaves below. A plant must arrange its leaves in such a way that the greatest number can spiral around the stem before a new leaf can sprout immediately above a lower one – that is at 360 degrees. If the leaves were arranged at an angle of 120 degrees, then the leaves would grow as 3 separate columns with large gaps between them. This would effectively block out the sunlight to the lower leaves. If the angle were 50 degrees, then there would be spaces between the leaves. But, with an angle of 137.5, the maximum amount of leaves can be arranged with a minimum of space being left between the leaves.

The Golden Ratio also crops up in hard sciences. Let’s take a look at the growth of “quasi-crystals.” These maintain a five-fold symmetry, which means that they make a pattern that looks the same when rotated by multiples of one-fifth of 360 degrees. Since the time when these crystals were discovered in 1984, many physicists have been researching their properties. In Brookhaven National Lab in New York State, Tanhong Cai imaged the microscopic terrain of the surface of such crystals made from alloys of aluminum-copper-iron and aluminum-palladium-manganese. It is found that flat terraces are punctuated by abrupt vertical steps. The steps come in two predominant sizes, with the ratio of the heights of these two steps being the Golden Ratio. This fact was discovered in 2002.

The most surprising place where the Golden Ratio appears is in black holes, a discovery made by Paul Davies of the University of Adelaide in 1989. Black holes and other self-gravitating bodies, such as the sun, have a negative specific heat. This means that they get hotter as they lose heat. In a spinning black hole there is an outward centrifugal force acting to prevent any shrinkage of the hole. The force depends on how fast the black hole is spinning. It turns out that at a critical value of the spin (when the ratio between the square root of the mass value and the square root of the spinning parameter is equal to the golden ratio), a black hole flips from having negative to positive specific heat. In other words, the Golden Ratio determines the character of the black hole.

With the help of developing science, new examples of the Golden Ratio are waiting to be discovered in the universe. The latest discoveries demonstrate that by using this ratio in technology, new products which make our lives easier will soon be available to all. This mystery that is spread throughout the universe may be an opportunity to renew and change our points of view on life.

[fuwafuwamedb]

A Cursed G Pt 33 (Ishtar, Enkidu, Gilgamesh)

Previous Part:

1 (HakuPOV / GilPOV), 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 

11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20,

 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 

31, 32

___

Stupid king.

What a stupid, stupid king.

Ishtar leaned back on her throne, closing her eyes and listening to the soft sound of her minstrels. The edge of the Cedar Forest was the only proper place for her to be at today. She could feel the tension, she could sense the paths of destiny and despair. She could smell the scent of blood in the distance, knowing whose blood was spilt.

She had offered him an escape.

It wasn’t like she wasn’t married. She had her own husband and she knew what he was like. She knew there was no such thing as pure loyalty. There was lustful desire and there was bitter betrayal. Passion is what drew others close. Beauty is what sucked the spirit in.

Nothing about the king’s plain and simple maiden was going to keep him contained.

She wasn’t going to please him. She wasn’t going to interest him for long.

He wanted excitement and adventure. He wanted the feeling of his blood soaring and his heart racing. He wanted to swing his blade and bury it deep into those that he happened upon. The king was young and wild.

There was no need to domesticate him.

One didn’t tame the wild beasts of the forest for their own gains.

One didn’t calm the tempests and silence the storms’ mighty winds so they could bottle up the power.

Gilgamesh was not meant to be ruined by cute little weddings and simple words. He was a king, not a human being. He was a mutt, one that should have been brought to heel for the gods and used in manners that she deemed appropriate. That meant maidens all over his bed. That meant listening to him throw that arrogant laugh about and delving deeper and deeper into his passions.

Humans could not satisfy her. They were too obsessive, too simple in their aims.

Gods could not satisfy her. They had no aims, simply resolving an itch.

Half breeds like Gilgamesh?

Ishtar cursed softly, laying sideways on her seat and watching her human priests attempt to recover from her hate sex drive enough to move enough to ask for more. Their hands reached her way, but they could not reach the steps that led towards her seat.

They could do nothing more than linger and yearn, reaching for a star that lay forever beyond their grasp.

She wanted a sun. She wanted the power that exceeded them all.

She deserved that power.

“Where is my cute kitten?” Ishtar murmured.

The sound of birds flocking to the air met her hearing. Her eyes drifted to the windows, watching the dark clouds of fluttering wings going off through the air as a loud roar ripped through the air.

There he is.

Climbing to her feet, she moved down the stairs, walking around the bodies and limbs that scattered her floors. She walked passed her maidens, stepping lightly onto the edge of her fountain and dipping her feet into those clear waters.

The king’s body lay on her floor.

The soldiers were wielding materials and resources from the forests, but their faces were grim.

Amongst them, a being of clay shook and raged, but they could do nothing as the image of her own self spoke forth.

Ishtar cocked her head, watching.

Her shoulders relaxed for the first time in weeks. Her smile grew forth from the face of disgust and bitterness. She could feel her hands pressing to her chest, her heart fluttering.

Of course.

A husband was never loyal.

Like Dumuzi himself, the king was still partially a god, unable to remain with one and one alone. Time and fate was destined against the man. Pain and misery lay before the king. The head of the being that lay in the being’s hands showcased the end of the being’s own life.

She merely needed to nudge destiny back into the waters of flow of life.

“You do not matter, Hakuno,” Ishtar breathed.

She had warned the girl to let him go.

She had cursed the woman, set her to her end as she had been destined to suffer in the future. It was not her friend that was supposed to be on the verge of death. The man had been meant to merely suffer. She had watched the regular flow of time.

The pain was supposed to grow. The tension between her and a woman that the man held interest was supposed to grow.

Hakuno had been meant to call him over, wanting to clear the air and falling into despair at interfering in her friend’s relationship.

She would run out into the darkness, getting struck by one of those monstrous wagons of the future.

Her body would lay in the other’s arms.

His first child would be named after her: a boy.

There would be an empty funeral, held with no one present.

A woman of no worth, mourned by very few who would quickly move on.

They would mean to go to her burial, but they would miss it due to a mistake. The respects for her would never be received.

The king had ruined that. He’d tainted her destiny, rewritten it like the chaotic godlike half breed that he was. He’d thrown her into this world and given her a blank slate.

She’d been sure that the woman was untouchable, seeing as that foolish goddess of a mother of the king’s had taken her in. She’d tried so many times to touch her destiny, finding the woman wearing an amulet to that bitch goddess.

But the king was still there.

He was still available, now more than ever.

“MAIDENS!” Ishtar called.

The floors were cleaned of the used men, their bodies thrown from the back of the temple. She had the floors scrubbed of their bodily fluids, her fabrics hung with careful attention. Her body was oiled, her hair brushed out.

She moved to her throne, sensing the impending parade of men coming.

She could feel icy grips of death hanging in the air.

The feeling was bringing her hair to stand on end. It was making her shiver as she smiled to the doors. The time was trickling down, building up to the moment those doors would open.

She called her favorite maidens to the floors, doffing them of their attire and murmuring sweet promises into their ears.

Finally, the doors parted.

A wave of soldiers came storming in, carrying their king in their arms.

The blood trail was too great. The king would never make it back to Uruk alive.

“What is this?”

Ishtar moved slowly to her seat, letting the slits in her gown show off her legs as she walked.

“You bring that mongrel king to my temple?”

“He is bleeding out,” the head of the guard explained, bowing low. “He is dying, dear goddess. Have pity on your patron kingdom’s king.”

“There is an heir coming, is there not?”

A worse mongrel, she thought, sitting back on her throne.

“The child may be a girl,” the guards warned. “A girl cannot lead our people. Your husband would have to return to the throne-“

“She does not want to help,” the being in the back hissed. “Let us hurry elsewhere.”

“I did not say I would not help,” Ishtar argued.

The soldiers praised her, the head of the guards began to lower the king’s body, shaking him slightly to awaken him.

“I could help,” Ishtar told them all, resting her cheek upon her hand. “I could easily counter the poison that the monster had a nearby snake bite and begin to slay the king with, but… I do recall that the king was disloyal. He betrayed me. Mocked me. He compared his foreign human to me and titled her as better.”

“My goddess,” the guards lamented, bowing their heads to her floor.

The being in the back clicked their tongue, glaring to her.

“I see the disloyalty now, between the glaring king and their pet.”

Gilgamesh glared her way- or he tried. The man could no more glare than he could move. Such a lovely set of snakes she had gifted those forests. Truly, there was no better place for the pets of the gods to roam.

“We beg of you,” the guards pleaded.

She smiled, waiting.

“Please,” the spurred.

“What say you, King Gilgamesh of Uruk? Do you wish to hold your newborn child when they come about? Do you wish to see that mongrel of yours that you allow to lay across the foot of your bed and eat from the scraps of your plate?”

He was so angry.

It reminded her of the tiny cat she had seen for a moment before she’d thrown him into the future. Hair standing up, eyes narrowed right out, pathetically powerless, unable to tell her anything with that useless mouth of his; he was the most beautiful this way.

If only poison could simply still that tongue and set that mind into delusion.

Or rather, non-delusion, since he was fond of a mongrel over her.

“Do you not want her after all?” Ishtar stepped slowly forth, descending the stairs and approaching the men. “You have one opportunity alone. You will not live to another temple. There are none close by.”

She’d destroyed them long ago.

“Well, king?”

The man glared at her, waiting.

Death was encroaching. Ereshkigal would not be long now.

While she was a pest, her sister was a pestilence.

The choice was an obvious one to make.

“Lay beside me,” Ishtar murmured to the king. “For a week’s time, you will lay in my chambers and eat from my hand and no other. No guards. No friend… or you can die.”

The man glared at her.

“Poor Hakuno,” she murmured, stroking gently at that face. “No precious kitty cat to come to her beck and call. Her pet’s run away to die. It’s a shame you have no sense. It must be a mongrel thing.”

“…leave… us.”

The guards and everyone watched the king.

“I’ll… stay here… for the week.”

Enkidu was moving forward, but Ishtar grinned, taking the opportunity to call forth her maidens. The guards were shoved, forcing the being out with them. 

“TAKE HUMBABA’S HEAD TO ENLIL’S TEMPLE,” she commanded. “OR THE KING REMAINS WITH ME.” 

The doors were closed, the deadbolt falling into place to keep the guards out. She could hear the guards agreeing to the plan, ensuring that the clay being would not survive the god’s wrath. 

Her maidens moved forward, murmuring only for her to call for her box of herbs and potions.

She had a king to help cheat death…

And then she had a whole week to play with him.

“The first thing we’ll do after you’re healed is turn you back into a cat. I want to see what kind of cuddly cat you turn into when you are nothing but a fluffy feline.”