#Norway is so dark all the time they said

[maybejuel]

When you can't see the northern lights because you're too far north...

[girlgenius1111]

promises

part 2 to behave. sol makes some questionable decisions. mapi comes to her rescue. ingrid comes home. ft. someone special.

Your arm was broken, and you hadn’t gotten drunk in months. Of course, the two main reasons you had for sneaking out could definitely be construed as two reasons not to sneak out as well. But Ingrid was out of town only until the following afternoon, and Mapi slept like the dead. It was a perfect opportunity, the only opportunity you’d have for many more weeks to come. And besides, you were 18. You weren’t breaking any laws. 

You’d been invited to a party, too, which wasn’t an opportunity you wanted to waste. You hadn’t assimilated to school very well. It was a nightmarish hell, honestly, but in the past few weeks you’d made a few casual acquaintances. They weren’t in any of your classes, and you didn't know them very well, but it was a good start.  

You slipped out the front door at around 1, promising Scout you’d be back soon, and began the few blocks’ walk to where the party was. You were excited. 

------

You didn’t like this. It was unclear what was so unsettling, maybe it was the fact that everything had changed so dramatically since the last time you’d been drunk. Maybe it was because, now, you cared very much about disappointing the people in charge of you. There was also the tiny detail that you’d had way too much. Your tolerance had evidently gone down in the past several months, but you hadn’t really thought about that until it was too late. 

Either way, you just really weren’t feeling the party. It reminded you too much of being back in Norway. How you felt then… you hadn’t really realized how bad it was until you were out of there, and doing much better. The taste of tequila on your tongue was a very visceral reminder of that time. 

It tasted like loneliness. It tasted like you hated everyone, yourself most of all. It tasted like you didn’t care much whether you got home safely, or got home at all. Like you were completely meaningless, and you always would be. You were scared, honestly, just wanted to go home. You headed out the back slider, leaving behind the noise of the party, and fell into one of the patio chairs. You couldn’t walk straight, your mind was completely cloudy, and you were having a hard time stringing any coherent thoughts together. You wanted to go home, but there was no way for you to get there; you definitely couldn’t walk. And even as drunk as you were, you knew ubering home in the middle of the night, by yourself, completely wasted, was a horrible idea. 

You were considering your options when your phone ringing interrupted your thoughts. Mapi was calling you. Fuck. You had no choice but the answer. She had your location. The only way you would have gotten away with this in the first place would have been if she hadn’t woken up. Now, though. You were completely screwed. You did your best to sound as sober as possible when you answered the phone.

“Hi Mapi.” You said cautiously. 

“Nena. Are you coming home soon?” Mapi asked calmly. 

“W-what?” You slurred back, blinking hard in an attempt to clear your mind. 

“You snuck out a couple of hours ago, and now it is almost 3am. So. Are you coming home soon, or should I come get you?”

“You knew I snuck out?” You asked dumbly. 

“Yes, nena. Now, where are you? Are you drunk?” 

“No.” 

You could feel Mapi roll her eyes. “Liar. I am coming to get you.”

The wind picked up a bit, and you shivered, suddenly feeling very cold, and very alone out in the dark. “Mapi?”

“Sí?” 

“Can you stay on the phone?”

And just like that, Mapi’s tone switched from annoyed and slightly amused, to full of concern. “Sí, I’m right here. What is going on? Are you safe? Are you with anyone?” 

You looked back through the sliding door, the party still in full swing. You weren’t alone, really, but you weren’t… with anyone. And for some reason, maybe because you were having memory after memory of feeling very similarly in Norway, you didn’t feel quite safe. 

“There’s a party inside. I’m outside. By myself. Can you come fast? I don’t feel good.” 

“I’m on my way, mi sol.” Mapi promised, and you knew without her saying it that she would go as fast as she could. 

------

She should have stepped in sooner. She should have stopped you the minute you’d snuck out the front door, or at the very least, followed you to where you went. 

She’d been awake, scrolling on her phone. Sleeping was always a bit more difficult without Ingrid there with her, so though it was later than usual for her to be up, it wasn’t completely unheard of. You were quiet as you left, but Mapi had accidentally picked up your phone earlier in the evening, and seen a text containing an address in it. The Spaniard was young once, too, and she knew pretty much instantly what was going on. She half hoped that you’d just ask about going, but as she was reminded often, your parents had done their damage. You’d snuck out instead. 

The thing was, Mapi honestly didn’t care very much that you wanted to go out. It was slightly worrying that you’d felt the need to sneak out, but she understood. The rules were different now than when you’d been in Norway, and it was clear to her that you were still getting used to that. 

You didn’t sound good on the phone, though, and she couldn’t help the worry that filled her as she sped towards the house your location was displaying. It wasn’t just that you were hammered. You sounded… far away. You sounded like the Sol she met when you first arrived. Cold, terrified, closed off, and desperately sad. Mapi didn’t like hearing you like that, and now she really wished that she would have stopped you from leaving the house earlier. 

There hadn’t been a peep over the phone for a few minutes as Mapi neared the house. “Hey, nena? You with me?” 

“Mm hmm.” You hummed, your attention fixed on the sky above you. It was funny, how all the stars could be the same in Barcelona as they were in Norway, yet everything else could be so drastically different. 

“I’m in front. Can you walk out to me, or should I come back and get you?” She was thrilled that you’d made friends enough to go to a party, and she didn’t want to embarrass you if she didn’t have to. 

“‘Can walk,” You mumbled, standing up from the chair, taking a step forward, and promptly falling face first to the ground. Mapi heard the racket, and was out of her car and running to you before you could get a word out. “Mapi, I fell,” you whined over the phone, completely oblivious to the fact that the Spaniard was sprinting in your direction. 

“Idiota.” Mapi mumbled, arriving at your side and bending down to inspect your face. 

“Mapiiiiii,” you sang, eyes halfway closed as you grinned up at the other girl.

“Ay dios mio.” Mapi sighed. You were worse off than she’d thought. “Did you hit your head when you fell?” 

“No, but I hurt my knee, look,” you said sadly, pointing down to a very small scrape. 

“Alright, let’s get you home and I’ll take care-”

“Excuse me, who are you?” A girl asked, stepping out onto the patio, looking between you and Mapi. “Sol, do you know that girl?” 

“I am her… Mapi.” Mapi said, internally rolling her eyes at herself. 

“She’s my Mapi!” You said enthusiastically, somehow hopping to your feet with a bit of agility, and leaning heavily against your sister's girlfriend. “She’s my sister Ingrid’s Mapi, her name is girlfriend.” You slurred. 

The girl just blinked, looking confused. “I am her sister’s girlfriend, María. She called me. I’m going to take her home now.” 

The girl’s expression cleared. “Oh, got it. Thanks for coming, Sol, see you monday.” 

“Byeeeeeeeee.”

“Have a good night.” Mapi said kindly. She appreciated that the girl hadn’t let some stranger abduct you from her patio. She began the arduous journey of practically carrying you back to the car. Once you were in the front seat, she turned the light on above you tilted your face towards her. 

“Nena, open your eyes.” She instructed. You did, opening your eyes ridiculously wide, until they began watering. She just wanted to make sure you hadn’t been drugged or anything, given how out of it you were. Your pupils looked normal, and she decided you had just had way too much to drink.“Okay, you can let your eyes be normal now.” 

They fell back into the half lidded state they were in before, and you sagged into the seat. Mapi bit back a smile. Now that you were safe, she was slightly amused at Drunk Sol. You were funny. 

She’d noticed something though, and as she buckled your seatbelt around you, she asked a question she knew you’d probably avoid answering if you’d been sober. 

“Nena, do the kids at school call you Sol?” 

Mapi had been under the impression that you went by your real name at school, as much as you hated it. Ingrid and Mapi almost exclusively called you Solstråle or Sol, now, just out of habit, but she hadn’t realized you’d made the change at school, too. 

“Yup.” You said, head turned towards her, though your eyes remained shut. 

“Why?” She wondered. She was just curious, honestly. Not only had she not known that you’d had friends at school, you hadn’t mentioned talking to anyone enough to come out of your shell, and tell them something different to call you. 

“I like it better.” 

“Oh.” Mapi said. 

“I like Sol. It’s pretty. And you picked it.” You attempted to poke Mapi’s nose, missed, and hit her cheek, though you continued on like nothing had happened. “And my mom never called me that. It’s a happy name.” 

Mapi blinked at you, before she cleared her throat. “Well, I’m glad you like it.” She said softly, before she shut your car door, and walked around to her side. And if she wiped a few tears away as she did so, that was no one’s business. 

-------

“That STINGS!” You shouted, sitting up out of what Mapi thought was a light sleep, yanking your leg away from her. She’d been trying to disinfect your knee, taking advantage of the fact that you’d collapsed onto the sofa the minute you made it into the house. 

“Sorry, Sol, I’m just cleaning it.” Mapi said, stifling a laugh at the absolutely betrayed look on your face. 

“You SCRAPED MY KNEE!” You insisted, a huge frown on your face. 

“Sol, you scraped your knee, when you fell down earlier. Now let me put a bandaid on.” 

“I didn’t fall, you fell.” You grumbled, though you extended your leg back out to her. “Mapi?” 

“Hmm?”

“Why is my arm wearing a blue condom?” You asked, dead serious, holding up your cast and inspecting it thoughtfully. Mapi bit her lip, trying in vain not to laugh at you, knowing you wouldn’t appreciate it in this state. 

“It’s not a condom, Sol, it’s a cast. You broke your arm.” 

“Oh.” You sat for a moment, watching as Mapi very carefully ensured the bandaid was correctly placed on your knee. “Are there condoms for lesbians?”

God save her. Mapi looked up at you, trying to tell if you were being serious. Your face was completely blank. No. No. She wasn’t doing this now. She was quite sure you’d had sex education, and even if you hadn’t, she’d make Ingrid do it when you were sober. “We can talk about condoms tomorrow. You’re going to bed now.” 

“If there are lesbian condoms, I’m in trouble, because I’ve never used one and I’m a lesbian.” You continued, before sitting up with a gasp. “Oh GOD. Am I pregnant?” 

Now, Mapi really wished she had stopped you from sneaking out. She wished she’d locked you in your room for the night, honestly. 

“Sol, you are not pregnant. Lesbians can’t get each other pregnant.” She explained, lifting you off the couch and into her arms. You were silent as she walked up the stairs, you curled up against her, until you sniffled quietly. She looked down, seeing tears in your eyes, and hurriedly placed you on your bed. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked gently, wiping away a stray tear. 

“That’s so sad.” You cried. 

“What is?” Mapi asked, bewildered. 

“That lesbians can’t get each other pregnant. It’s not fair.” 

“Sol, did you not know lesbians couldn’t get each other pregnant?” The Spaniard asked exasperatedly, really starting to doubt the sex education program at your school. 

“No. I just didn’t think about it until now and it’s so sad.” You mumbled, flopping back onto your bed. “‘Cause lesbians are the best.” 

Mapi flopped down onto the bed next to you, rolling her eyes when Scout picked his head up to glare at her. Of course. Now the dog woke up. “It is sad.” She agreed, thinking it was the easiest way to end the conversation. You didn’t respond, though and she looked over to find you already asleep. 

Thank god.

-------

When you wandered down the stairs at 10 the next morning, Mapi was glad to see that you looked relatively… fine. Not hungover at all, which was absurd considering the state you’d been in the night before. 

“Good morning, Solstråle.” She said, smirking when you looked at her with a furrowed brow. 

“Morning.” You mumbled back, throwing yourself dramatically onto the couch.

“How are you feeling?” 

“Just tired.” 

“You aren’t hungover?” 

“I don’t really get hungover.” You said absentmindedly, scrolling on your phone, only looking up when Mapi didn’t say anything. “What?” 

She looked surprised and kind of annoyed. “You don’t get hungover?” 

“Nope!” You said cheerfully. “Probably a young person thing.” Turning back to your phone, you jumped when a pillow thwacked you in the face. 

“I am young.” Mapi grumbled. You just laughed. “You will not be laughing when Ingrid finds out you snuck out to get drunk.” 

You sat bolt upright, staring at her with your jaw dropped. “You’re going to tell on me?” 

And though she’d said it mostly as a joke, she’d been serious, and she was surprised you hadn’t known that. She told Ingrid everything. She couldn’t keep this from her. “Sol, you had to have known I’d tell her.” 

“You knew I left and you didn’t say anything! This is your fault!”

“My fault?” Mapi laughed. “I wasn’t going to tell her if you snuck back in, but you were so drunk I had to come get you. So. I’m telling Ingrid.”

You studied her for a minute. “I don’t think you will.” 

“Oh you don’t? And why not?” Mapi said, grinning. 

“Because if you tell Ingrid, I am sure Alexia would love to know that you gave her hermanita a tattoo behind her back.” 

The smile fell from Mapi’s face as she stared at you in horror. “You wouldn’t.” 

You smirked. “I would.” 

“Sol, you promised you would not tell. This is not just about me, this is about Fresa too, and you cannot…”

You began to tune Mapi out at the name. Fresa. The day you’d met her had been… a rough one. You’d argued with Ingrid about Camila, and she’d left the house before you could make up. Camila had been together a week, and Ingrid was far from happy. You were left stressed in your room, worried that Ingrid was going to return and take back every nice thing she’d said over the past week or so. It had been a bad day, yes but you still remembered meeting Alexia’s little sister, very clearly. 

-------

A soft knock on your door had you looking up from the school work you were struggling over. 

“Come in.” 

Mapi popped her head in the door. “Can we talk for a sec?” 

You stiffened, though your face was completely blank. “Okay. Did I do something wrong?” You asked quietly. You were always more withdrawn after an argument with your sister. Mapi didn’t say anything about the fact that your cheeks were tearstained, or how you regarded her a bit frightfully. You did so many things frightfully, even now, even still. 

“No, no, not at all. I just have a favor to ask you.” You nodded for her to continue. “Alexia’s younger sister is coming over today for a tattoo, while Ingrid is gone. And I really, really need you not to tell Ingrid about it. Or Alexia. Or anyone.” 

You were a bit stunned by the fact that Mapi would trust you with a secret like this. No one had trusted you with… anything in a really long time. Things were different, you reminded yourself. “Okay .I won't tell.” 

Mapi looked at you for a minute, maybe surprised at how easily you’d agreed. “I don’t mean to make you keep secrets from Ingrid, it’s just that-”

“It’s fine, Mapi. Ingrid won’t think to ask me about it, so it’s not really lying anyway.”

Mapi was  aware that she was probably crossing a boundary by asking you not to tell Ingrid about this, but Fresa was practically an adult, had a good head on her shoulders, and honestly, she needed someone to show her some love. Mapi knew she wasn’t doing something bad, which is how she justified asking you to keep the secret. Fresa needed her sisters, but they weren’t paying attention, and she was tired of trying to get it. So, if Fresa wanted a tattoo from Mapi, then she’d get one. And honestly? Mapi didn’t feel bad about keeping it a secret from Alexia. She was pretty frustrated with the midfielder at the moment, but she could only fix the relationship between sisters one at a time. 

“Okay. Thanks, kid.” She said, giving you a small smile. You smiled back at her, just a bit, but it was more than Mapi normally got, so she took it. 

------

When Mapi had said Alexia’s sister was coming over today when Ingrid was shopping, you’d been much too focused on Mapi trusting you to really process what she’d said. Though it all came rushing back to you when you wandered down the stairs, responding to a text from Camila. She had just invited herself to the next home match and told you she didn’t want to sit with Mapi. You were trying to figure out what to say, because honestly, you liked sitting with Mapi at Ingrid’s games, even if she talked a lot; it was endearing. You had just decided to agree to Camila’s request when Mapi caught your attention. 

“Oh, Solstråle,” Mapi said excitedly. You looked up at her in surprise, your eyes flicking over to the other girl in your house. She was looking at you with a smile on her face, as if she’d just been joking around with Mapi. She had that Putellas aura, one that completely projected confidence. It intimidated you, and you faltered, unsure what to do, or say to this mysterious, beautiful girl. You didn’t want to lounge in the living room anymore, waiting for Ingrid to get home so you could apologize and see if she was still mad. You wanted to go back to your room where it was safe and there were no strangers. “This is Ingrid’s hermana, Solstråle,” Mapi introduced, giving you an encouraging smile. 

You took a minute step backwards, slightly panicked. You forgot you had social anxiety, sometimes, especially when you went so long without meeting new people, and being expected to talk to anyone other than Ingrid and Mapi. The pretty girl smiled, and your brain fell empty for a second. 

If she was beautiful before she smiled she was… otherworldly when she did. She was warm and happy and so… light. She was overflowing with love, and you could tell from just a few seconds of being in her presence. 

“Solstråle, this is Alexia’s sister, Fresa.” Mapi continued, pretending that you weren’t acting like a complete weirdo. You still couldn’t talk, your mouth suddenly very dry, and Mapi sighed a bit. That sent you reeling because normally, Mapi was so careful not to ever let you think she was disappointed in something you did. 

She really just wanted you both to be friends, and felt like she was blowing the introduction, but you felt like you needed to get out of there before you made even more of a fool of yourself. 

“You can say hi Sol she does not bite! Actually you-” 

You interrupted Mapi, hastily greeting Fresa in what was probably very poor, and very quiet spanish. Then, you made it even worse, somehow, by turning on your heel and making a break for it. Back to your room where it was safe. 

Mapi apologized later for putting you on the spot with a new person, and you’d apologized for acting like you’d never spoken to another human being in your life before. Mapi casually asked if you wanted her to get Fresa’s number from Alexia, so you both could be friends, but you’d declined. 

You didn’t need friends. Definitely not pretty friends that made you nervous, especially when there was absolutely, positively no way she’d like you back. Or even that she liked girls. What were the odds all three Putellas sister’s were lesbians? It seemed unlikely to you, and you tried to push Fresa out of your head as the weeks passed. You focused on Camila, and then you focused on anything but Camila. Fresa always… stayed in the background, though. Always a thought. Always there. 

-------

You blushed at the memory, at how insanely shy and awkward you’d been. You honestly weren’t really looking to share that story with anyone, let alone Alexia, who was one of the coolest people you'd ever encountered. 

“Alright, I won’t tell anyone. I did promise.” You stated, before you grew serious. “But please don’t tell Ingrid, Mapi. It is never ever going to happen again, I felt so weird yesterday, it wasn’t fun at all. It was a one time thing.”

“What, you are never going to drink again?” Mapi asked, distracted and now slightly concerned. 

You decided to be honest, because vulnerability couldn’t be worse than Ingrid yelling at you. It would come close. But it wouldn't be worse. “No, I just…I realized I don’t need to do that anymore, blackout every weekend. When I used to do it before, in Norway, I was trying to forget. I was running away from my problems. I don’t need to do that anymore, I don’t want to.” 

“Oh.” Mapi said carefully, recognizing the weight of what you’d just admitted to her. “Okay. Fine. I won’t tell Ingrid. If you promise to stop taking pictures of me sleeping next to Scout, because they are not representative of our relationship. We do not like each other. We just happen to fall asleep in the same spot sometimes.”

You threw your head back and laughed. “Sure, Mapi. If that’s what you want.”

------

Ingrid hated ubering home from the airport. It took forever, the drivers were never very good, and she much preferred her girlfriend to come to the airport and greet her with a warm hug. However, Ingrid couldn’t miss the opportunity to surprise you both upon her arrival home. It had been a tough couple days for you, she knew. You were an emotional mess after the hospital, though you pretended not to be, and you hated not being able to do your normal activities. So, when Ingrid realized she could catch a flight in the morning as opposed to the afternoon, she jumped at it. She missed her girls, and seeing you both sooner was worth the hassle. 

You and Mapi had ensured the house was spotless. Early on in the break, you’d suggested making slime. Mapi had agreed, and it went about as well as could be expected. The dining room floor was now bare, the rug that normally lived there was nowhere to be found. Other than that, though, the house was clean, and Scout had gotten a bath, courtesy of Mapi due to the cast on your arm. That went about as could be expected, too. 

After cleaning, you’d slumped onto the couch grumpily. Mapi knew you were bummed about your hand. You were such an active person, always moving around, always doing something outside. Now, though, you needed to rest your very broken arm, which meant that you were stuck inside with Mapi. You were grouchy and short tempered, but the Spaniard was doing her best to keep you occupied. 

Both of you were too wrapped up in the intense round of mario kart you were playing to notice the car pull into the drive, or hear your sister approach with her suitcase. You could only play with one hand and the thumb of your broken hand, so Mapi promised to only do the same. As soon as you began to beat her, though, she began to cheat, sneakily using both her hands on the controller, much to your frustration. 

Ingrid felt a pang of worry flash through her when she heard a raised voice as she unlocked the front door. She knew what your mood had been like, and she was worried you were arguing with Mapi. You’d never yelled at her girlfriend before, but you’d definitely yelled at Ingrid. 

“I swear to god María, I am going to throw this at your head,” you shouted. 

Ingrid fumbled with her keys in her haste to get the door open. 

“I am not cheating!” Mapi defended. “You are seeing things, pequeña, I thought it was your arm that was b-”

Her voice cut off as Ingrid swung the door open, a small smile on her face as she’d realized what the argument was about. 

“Ingrid?” You and Mapi said, completely in unison. Scout hopped off the couch, trotting over to his second favorite person, eagerly sniffing at her legs. Ingrid petted him, her attention still on the two of you, frozen on the couch. The rainbow road music still played in the background, and it was truly a comical sight. You had been attempting to kick Mapi’s controller out of her hands, and she was trying to cover your eyes. 

“Ingrid!” Mapi said again, launching off the couch to almost tackle her girlfriend in a hug. 

“Hi my love,” Ingrid murmured, hugging Mapi back rather tightly. 

“I’m so glad you’re home.” Mapi whispered. “She’s scary when she’s grumpy.” 

“I heard that.” You said, frowning at the Spaniard. Ingrid was surprised when you yanked on the back of Mapi’s shirt, pulling her away from your sister, and took her place. The hug you gave your sister was fierce and if Ingrid had been wondering if you’d missed her, she no longer did. 

“Hi sweetheart,” she said, squeezing you tight. 

“Hi.” You mumbled. “Missed you.” 

“I missed you too, Solstråle.” Ingrid said with a smile, taking your cast into her hands as she pulled back. 

“How is your hand? How are you? Are you doing okay?” She asked worriedly, and you nodded, though you really appreciated how much she cared. 

“It’s fine, really. Mapi was… Mapi was really helpful. Couldn’t have done it without her.” You glanced at her, before turning back to your sister, changing the subject. “Blank canvas for you to sign.” You grinned. Ingrid returned that smile and dragged you into the kitchen without further ado. She completely disregarded her duffel bag by the door, and left her backpack on as if she couldn’t be bothered with it before she signed your cast. 

“Can I sign when you’re done?” Mapi asked eagerly. 

“When I’m done, yes,” Ingrid sighed, though she was endlessly entertained by her girlfriend’s impatience. Mapi was like you in that sense. 

Ingrid found a sharpie in the drawer, carefully grabbing your cast in her hands, instructing you to close your eyes. 

‘du er favorittpersonen min selv når du faller love, ingrid’

When she was done, she told you to open your eyes, and you did so eagerly, looking down at what she’d written. You weren’t expecting tears to flood your vision, but they did. ‘You’re my favorite person, even when you fall.’ It felt like it had more than one meaning. Ingrid would always love you. Regardless of your mistakes. 

You smiled at her through your tears, throwing your arms around her again in a tight hug. She caught you easily, enjoying the moment. 

“Ahem. MY TURN.” Mapi said impatiently, causing both you and Ingrid to break into laughter. You let Mapi sign, then, even though she wrote so big it took up half the cast. Ingrid just watched, enjoying the sight of her little family. It was very perfect. 

-----

:)

send! your! sol! thoughts! and let me know what you thought of this one 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

[pitchsidestories]

homecoming II Ingrid Engen x Mapi León x Reader

masterlist I word count: 1573

a/n: the inspiration came from this request, your feedback is alway appreciated. <3

warnings: reader is confronted with her past body image issues while visiting her homecountry Norway with her lovers.

The sky was covered in light grey clouds, blocking out the sun. But that didn’t matter, the air was nice and mild on this summer day in the middle of Norway.

You enjoyed the warm weather as you walked through your small hometown, flanked by Mapi and Ingrid on either side of you.

Ingrid stopped and took a deep breath with her eyes closed like she was trying to soak up the smell of her childhood here.

You both had promised to show Mapi where you and Ingrid had grown up together for a long time now so you decided the summer break was the perfect opportunity.

You smiled as you continued you walk. You knew this route like the back of your hand. So many afternoons and weekends were spend running down this road, side by side with Ingrid. It was the start of both of your football careers.

Mapi beamed delightedly as she spotted the small football pitch. It was empty at this time of day but it smelled of freshly cut grass.

“So this is where the football journey started?“, she asked.

Ingrid nodded and absentmindedly stepped closer towards the fence encircling the football field: “Yes, that’s where I played my first games.“

Mapi nodded in your direction: “Y/n too?“

“Yes, that’s how we met. I mean we also went to the same school but we never had any contact there…“, you replied. Memories of you two at the age of seven, the only girls in a team of boys appeared in front of your inner eye.

Ingrid nodded and softly smiled at you: “That’s true. But we became close when we realized that we both like football.“

“And when you both realized you liked women?“, Mapi teased. You weren’t quite sure if she really meant it as a joke.

Ingrid playfully slapped her on her arm: “Mapi! That was way later!“

You forced yourself to smile: “Honestly.“

“We were basically babies!“, Ingrid laughed.

Mapi seemed satisfied to hear that nothing had ever happened between you and Ingrid when you were younger.

It’s not like she had not welcomed you into the relationship when Ingrid had told her that she fell in love with you, and it hadn’t taken long for you to adore Mapi as well. But the fact that you and Ingrid had history without her seemed to bother her.

You shook your head lightly. Back in your teens, you had no interest in dating at all, not even Ingrid. “And we had different problems back then…“, you said to no one in particular.

“Right.“, Ingrid bit her lip.

“What? What are you two talking about.”, the Spaniard frowned confused. She tried to think about what could have happened here which left such a mark on you.

You took a deep breath it was time to let the defender know about the dark moments in your past. No one in Barcelona was familiar with that story only Ingrid.

“Y/n?”, Ingrid approached you cautiously, sounding deeply concerned.

“I’m good.”, you wanted to assure her, so the worried lines on her pretty face would disappear.

They only grow deeper. The midfielder has noticed that you fainted during training. She saw right through your defensive behaviour.

“Yeah, sure you’re.”, the dark-haired teenager replied unconvinced.

“Really.”, you emphasized your words from earlier, you hoped she would let the topic fall just like your coach had.

“You just passed out.”, Ingrid reminded you anxiously, handing you a little snack.

“I can’t eat.”, you shook your head while pushing it right back into her open hand.

“You need to. Your body needs it.”, the midfielder stressed.

“But..”, you begun.

“Just eat.”, she interrupted you softly.

Her unwillingness to understand frustrated you.

“I need to be thinner like the rest of the team.”, you explained exasperated.

“What?”, Ingrid answered stunned.

“Even the coach said I could lose a bit more weight.”, you told her. The moment he said that was unforgettable, it was forever engraved into your memory.

It came out of nowhere and made the hit so much harder when you felt so defenceless and vulnerable against the authority of a man who might play a role when it came to you ever making it as a professional football player.

“That’s ridiculous. You’re perfectly fine.”, the midfielder disagreed with a passion which surprised you.

“You think so?”, you questioned quietly.

“Of course. You’re so good. That’s only what your body looks like.”, Ingrid nodded. The usual reserved and calm girl was gone, the remarks of your coach clearly made her furious.

“Ingrid.”, you stopped her from talking by putting a finger against her lips, but the dark-haired teenager shook it off.

“It’s true.”

“Oh wow, I didn’t know that.”, Mapi commented, her voice brought you pack into the present. It took you a few seconds to realize that you weren’t that helpless teenager anymore, that part of you has been mostly healed.

“It was a rough time.”, the fellow Norwegian admitted.

“I really thought my body wasn’t athletic, feminine and pretty enough.”, you confessed to them.

The three of you went on with your walk leaving the pitch behind.

“But your body was perfect.. still is. We just didn’t have the right representation back then.”, Ingrid remarked, looking at you admiringly. You blushed under her gaze.  

“That’s true. You’re beautiful.“, Mapi agreed, her voice soft and so was her face when you looked over.

She closed the distance to you until your arms touched as you walked.

“Oh… thanks.“ You kept your gaze fixed on the ground in front of your feet, trying to hide the blush in your cheeks. You felt a bit awkward, having your insecurities exposed like this but at the same time it was a bit of a relief.

“You both are.“, Mapi added to her previous statement.

Ingrid smiled adoringly at her: “So are you.“

“That’s true.“, you nodded. You may not have always found beauty in yourself, but you were sure to see it in others.

Mapi smiled: “Thanks. I really like that we get to change the view on female bodies.“

“Me too…“, you agreed. You knew too many young girls still felt the same pressure that you felt back then and if you could help at least one of them accept their body, it was all worth it.

There was a moment of silence before Mapi admitted: “And I understand the bond between the two of you better.“

Ingrid looked at her in surprise: “You do?“

“Yes.“

You gently took Ingrids hand into yours: “We’ve really been through thick and thin…“

You then turned to Mapi, intertwining the fingers of your other hand with hers: “And now with you.“

The Spaniard looked back at you, visibly touched: “So it’s the three of us against the world?“

“It is!“, Ingrid confirmed with a resolute nod.

“I like that a lot.“, she grinned.

“Me too.“, you agreed. There was a lightness rushing over you, your heart felt so full being here with these two.

Ingrid suddenly stopped in her tracks, causing you all to halt: “My girls, we have to go if we want to reach our first destination tonight.“

Walking through your home town and reminiscing your childhood, you completely forgot that you wouldn’t be stay here. The three of you had a roadtrip planned through Norway.

Mapi nodded: “You’re right. It’s time to go.“

You walked back towards your van, retracing your steps. You felt like fully different person when you passed the football pitch for a second time.

You wished that you would have known back then that your body was only doing its job and that you were always worthy of love, independent of your weight.

A two hour drive later, the sun finally came out as it began to set. Mapi parked your van at a lake, your first destination. You scrambled out of the passenger seat to have a better look at the nature right in front of you.

“This is beautiful!“, you marvelled at the sight.

“It is, right? Nice and quiet.“, Ingrid agreed, her black hair shining in the orange light.

“Stunning.”, the Spaniard hummed taking a photo of her two favourite Norwegians with her little camera hanging around her neck.

“You were supposed to take a photo of the nature.”, the midfielder grinned amused.

“Honestly, there’s a beautiful sunset right there.”, you continued gesturing to the sky, the red and orange was reflected in the lake, looking like a masterpiece an artist would never be able to capture or do its justice.

“I already saw the prettiest view today.”, Mapi countered, her eyes set lovingly on the two of you.

“Stop it, you already got us, charmer.”, you reminded her, hiding your burning cheeks with the hands.

“Okay, okay. I’ll take a photo of the stupid sunset.”, she gave in laughing.

“And afterwards a selfie.”, Ingrid chirmed.

“Come here girls.”, the defender nodded after she took a few photos of the nature around her.

Happily, you scanned the result of the couple photo, the Spaniard was standing between you and Ingrid, all of you had a happy smile on your lips and the background was breathtaking as much as the three women in front of it.

“Here to make new memories.”, Mapi announced solemnly.

The past was the past, you couldn’t change what happened to you in the country as a teenager, but the present Norway never looked more beautiful.

[caws5749]

You asked for inspo? How about a Natasha x Reader enemies to lovers? Set during Civil War, they are both on the run and they end up in Norway together somehow? I say enemies but what I mean is Nat is being cold because she's trying to hide her feelings and she's also worried (?)

This is a mess sorry

A/N: this is most certainly not a mess! This is a fantastic request and I sincerely thank you bby, I hope you like it! And listen, we all know I'm tropey so I know its in half of my fucking works but I can't not do the cute cold trope :)

++++++

You most certainly had not planned on this happening.

Being on the run, having not even a moment to grab anything that meant something to you. A brief 'goodbye' or a look was all you had time for for your teammates.

You had no idea where anyone had gone. Did everyone get out? Did some get caught? Were they together or alone?

You sighed, wind in your hair. What had made you think of heading to Norway, you had no idea. The cool air had a refreshing bite to it, keeping you uncomfortable, something that was a bonus while being on the run.

Your head turned, catching a glimpse of something familiar in the corner of your eye. Your eyes widened briefly in surprise; you'd know that red hair anywhere.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" you muttered, as half of you filled with dread and half of you filled with an emotion you couldn't quite place.

Natasha Romanoff stood at the other end, staring out at the water with a saddened and thoughtful expression. You moved towards her, leaning across the rail a few feet from her.

"Y/N," the woman greeted quietly, her eyes never leaving the water.

"Natasha."

"Is there a reason you're following me?" There was no humor, no amusement to her tone. It was colder than the water.

"I'm not," you answered, feeling your own walls go up in defense.

The red-head didn't quite know what to say to that. In fact, she didn't quite know what to say at all. Natasha had been hiding her feelings about you for quite some time now. And when the Accords had come, she simply felt it was not the right time. And it most certainly was not the right time now. But she didn't know how to deal with that and she most certainly felt it was safer for you to be far, far away from her.

But that was the last thing she wanted. The widow wanted you close to her, so that she could protect you, do whatever it took to keep your freedom, to make you happy in such a dark and confusing time.

You shivered, pulling her from her own thoughts.

"Go inside."

Why was she being so harsh?

"I don't know what I ever did to you, but going on the run certainly makes you a bitch," you retorted, leaving her alone at the rail.

Nat sighed as a feeling of self-loathing washed over her.

You didn't go inside, heading to a spot on the rail at the complete opposite side of the ship, fuming. You shook your head, trying to focus on your plan once you docked.

You couldn't feel the emerald eyes staring at the back of your head. When you shivered for the fifth time, Natasha sighed in annoyance, at you for keeping yourself uncomfortable and at herself for being unable to not care.

You jumped when a jacket was placed over your shoulders.

"I'm fine," you said harshly when you realized who had placed it, though you couldn't help but blush at the flutter in your chest at the gesture.

"You're cold," the red-head said simply, though not unkindly. "I'm sorry."

You said nothing.

"I shouldn't have been such a bitch," she continued, using your words.

"Why were you?"

"I- I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling," Nat answered honestly.

"What are you feeling?" you asked, your cold tone growing a bit warmer.

"Scared. A tad relieved and hopeful. Worried."

"Me too," you whispered.

Natasha had a feeling you were speaking about different things. Perhaps you were relieved to be with a teammate, but certainly you couldn't be feeling what she was.

"No," she shook her head. "I mean it differently. Y/N, I have feelings for you. Which is why I- I'm scared about that and where we are and what we're doing and that's why I was so cold to you."

"And why do you think I was so upset by the way you acted, Natasha? I feel the same," you said softly, your eyes searching hers.

Her eyes lightened a bit, the only bit of happiness you'd seen in her since the Accords. She moved a bit closer, whether it was subconscious, a motion of comfort, or for the cold, you didn't know. But you liked it all the same.

You moved to lay your head against her shoulder.

"Let's do this together, Nat," you murmured. Was it your imagination or did her lips ghost a kiss against your hair?

"Together."

[hetalian-veteran]

The Draw of the Hetalia Fandom (and Why You Can Never Leave)

From the perspective of a fan of (technically) twelve years or so.

Something occurred to me a while back, and I wanted to share it to get other people's thoughts. I'll try to add funny pictures and gifs to break up the wall of text so it won't be as exhausting to read.

I made a post the other day about how the Hetalia fandom always draws you back in. This was, of course, based on the joke about how you can never really leave the Hetalia fandom. A joke you can find virtually everywhere you look in fan spaces online.

But this begs the question. Why? Why can't you ever truly leave the Hetalia fandom? What is it about this fandom that consistently draws you back in?

And note that people don't talk about Hetalia itself, but rather its fandom. You could stop watching the show or reading the comics for years, but the fandom is what won't fully leave you be.

(The Hetalia fandom every time you check to see if it's dead yet).

One answer I've heard has to do with the phenomenon known as Associative Memory, where you can learn and remember the relationship between unrelated items.

For example, you watch Hetalia, a series about the countries of the world personified as anime characters. These characters have their own personalities, traits, quirks, etc. And the more you watch the show and get into the fandom, the more you start to associate these things with one another.

For instance, someone can say the word Italy, and I'll start thinking about Feliciano Vargas. Or someone could say the name Matthew Williams, and I automatically associate that with Canada. Or I could see bushy eyebrows and immediately start thinking of APH England. Heck, someone starts talking about Vikings and my thoughts almost always go to the Viking Trio of Denmark, Norway, and Sweden. I could go on, but you get the idea.

And there's also the fact that we live in a world full of the countries that the show has personified characters of, which would in turn likely remind you of Hetalia.

But there's something more here going on. I've thought about it for a long while, and I think I've realized one of the biggest reasons why you can't fully leave the fandom.

It's because of how versatile the characters of the series can be in fan content. Allow me to explain.

(Me preparing to explain to everyone the epiphany that came to me one dark, stormy night).

Hetalia is a series with literally no plot. Like, zero. Some episodes may impact each other, but the overall series is episodic in nature. The only episodes you'd have to watch in order would be the ones going over the miniature love story between Chibitalia and HRE. And then there's the sequence of episodes going over the Industrial Revolution in season seven, and then the sequence of episodes explaining the relationship between Czechia and Slovakia. But that's it. And the Industrial Revolution and Czechia and Slovakia episodes aired in the latter seasons, long after the fandom was already very big and well established.

The episodes are largely adaptations from the original webcomic and thus are all a bunch of skits haphazardly thrown together. So I'll reiterate what I said earlier; there is no real, canonical plot to Hetalia. There are canon events and facts about canon characters, but seeing as the show is largely skits, they aren't tied down to any real narrative.

(The Hetalia fandom whenever they're given a piece of canon they don't like).

This leaves a lot of room for headcanons. Which leads to fans sharing their headcanons online. And when headcanons get super popular, they become fanon. And when a piece of fanon gets super popular, where it finds itself getting mingled with fanart, fanfiction, and even fan theories, you'll have people who start to confuse it with actual canon. There's really a lot to be said for the wild fanon of Hetalia, but I'll get to that another day. I need to turn the focus back onto the characters themselves.

I'm just gonna put it out there. The Hetalia characters are largely one-note. This isn't to say there isn't some depth to a few of the characters, but these characters are largely the epitome of "what you see is what you get." Especially in the early days of the series. The characters all have a set of straightforward, basic character traits, with their interpersonal relationships often being displayed in a very simplistic manner.

For example, Italy is a pasta-loving coward who's a massive flirt. Germany is strict and authoritative with a no-nonsense attitude. Japan is quiet and soft-spoken, only speaking up when he feels the need. America is a bombastic dork with a hero complex. England is an arrogant stick in the mud. France is a hopeless romantic who flirts with anything that has a pulse.

(Me taking a moment to pause and push away the cringy middle school memories of me shamelessly fangirling in class).

And as I said, their relationships are typically portrayed as simplistic as well. Italy annoys Germany, but Germany doesn't want to get rid of him because he's one of his only friends. England and France hate each other. America is that hyper-extroverted friend trying to get his introverted friend, Japan, out of his shell. Switzerland and Lichtenstein have a sweet sibling dynamic. And Prussia and Austria are portrayed as old friends who like to antagonize one another.

Because of the way the characters and their interpersonal relationships are written, this also lends them open to a lot of headcanons and eventual fanon. Not to mention that most of the characters have canon, human names. So if you want to use these characters in a fanfiction, particularly one where you don't want to depict them as countries (which is most fanfics), you have names at the ready that you can use.

And because of the simple way the characters are written, you can potentially write or portray these characters however you want in fanwork without too many people complaining that someone "isn't in character." There is so much room for your own interpretations of the characters. As long as you keep some of their basic personality traits from the series intact, you can portray the characters however you want. Especially because there's no real canonical storyline to drag them down. Because of the lack of canon storyline, you don't have to worry about fanworks being canon-compliant, canon-divergent, or canon-adjacent.

(Fanfic writers when they realize canon cannot stop them from creating whatever they want).

Do you want to portray Romano as the notorious mafia boss, Lovino Vargas, in the 1930s? Go ahead. As long as you can keep some of his cowardly and stubborn nature intact, you can do what you want with little trouble.

Do you want to portray England as the infamous pirate, Arthur Kirkland, in the 17th century? As long as you maintain his disdain for France, have at it!

Do you want to write a college AU with all of the characters present? As long as you keep in mind their personalities and have a basic understanding of their interpersonal relationships, have fun!

Now you're probably sitting there thinking, "Big deal, people can create all kinds of fanwork, regardless of what its content is, or what property it's for. What makes the Hetalia fandom so special?"

It's special because, since Hetalia is a series with almost zero canonical storylines, and the characters are portrayed in such a simplistic way, both of which lend their way to boatloads of headcanons and fanon, as well as small scraps of canon information that we can choose to either ignore or elaborate like crazy on...

Hetalia is a freaking goldmine for creating all kinds of fan content.

(Hetalians when creating the 2p! variations of the characters, probably).

So much fan content is out there. From creepypastas, to Hetaoni, Dreamtalia, the 2p! characters, historically accurate AU's, school AU's, and so, so much more. All because the canon is just loose enough to allow all kinds of fan content to be created and not seem too far off from the series or characters.

And that fan content ends up being way, way more fun than the actual series itself! Don't get me wrong, I still love the show, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't (or currently don't) have a freaking blast every time I engage with fan content. The creativity is insane, and the fanon is even more fun and entertaining.

The reason you cannot fully leave the Hetalia fandom isn't just because of Associative Memory, but because of the immense amount of fan content and fanon where, because of the nature of the series, you can do, write, draw, and create whatever you want. You can project onto these characters and their stories and interpret them to your own personal tastes. And you know what? That's a heck of a lot of fun.

And there you go, that's my two cents.

[anki-of-beleriand]

A Heart Made Of Glass ch.14

Summary: Ten years ago you left Wanda and the Avengers to heal your broken heart. You never stopped being a hero, just as you never stopped being in love with her. But life had to go on.

Now, after all that time, she is back and with her is a young woman needing help and an enemy that may not be as afraid as Wanda to lay a claim on you.

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Powered!F!Reader - Scarlet Witch x PoweredF!Reader - Past Wanda Maximoff x Vision - CarolxF!Reader

Warnings: Angst, drama, mentions of cheating, fluff, violence, smut, Switch!Reader, internalize homophobia, hurt, comfort, Wanda being a complete mess, anger management issues, jealousy, Requited/Unrequited love, idiots in love, swearing, mentions of alcohol. More tags as the story progess.

Author's Note: This story is a continuation of Dirty Little Secret I was really surprised at the response I got for the story, I did all the tags you guys ask for but if I forgot someone please do not hesitate to tell me. Thank you for the support.

This chapter is the concept of idiots in love.

Please, do remember English is no my mother tongue so forgive my grammar, spelling and funny mistakes.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Epilogue

Chapter 14

The thing about love

The world was in complete turmoil.

Norway became the home to non-secret agencies trying to discover what had shaken the foundations of the city while taking its inhabitants into a virtual reality prison. SWORD had taken over the investigation overlooked by Monica Rambeau and the newest director of the reformed SHIELD, Tony Stark.

For some members of the SWORD team, it was Wanda Maximoff the obvious author of such disaster, but for some others the truth might be slightly more complicated. It was easier to blame the one that had been on the run before the Blip and then come back to enslave a group of people in a fantasy world.

Natasha Romanoff knew the situation was far more complicated that what everyone kept on spitting out in the conference room. She left after it was quite evident no one knew what to do, or what was really going on.

The cold breeze from the outside came rushing through the door, she shivered blinking away the blinding white from the snow covering the land. The houses in the distance had been repaired and people was going back their normal lives. The world didn't stop before the hex and it didn't stop now that it was over and two former Avengers, one powered teen and a witch disappeared.

“Still nothing?” Carol Danvers came walking down a makeshift road, she was wearing different clothing but the perpetual frown of inadequacy and concern was still there.

“Nothing useful.” Natasha stepped forward welcoming the crispy texture of the snow under her feet. “They kept on babbling about who to blame, while Tony, Bruce and Strange are trying to find a way to open a portal to the right universe.”

Carol huffed approaching the brunette, “the right universe? That may take centuries! This is something out of our scope,”

“And that's why we have to be patient.” But even as she said this, Natasha glanced with apprehension towards the bunker then back to the direction where Y/N house was located.

Time was passing slowly but surely and still there was not a single workable plan to bring you and the others back. Whatever magic or powers had acted during the attack from Scarlet and Agatha it had left no traces to be followed, it was as if you and the others had disappeared into existence. 

Carol dropped her head, her arms wrapping around herself trying to contain the frustration she had been experimenting for quite some time. Natasha looked at her out of the corner of her eye, the blond-haired woman was standing small with the sight of the mountains and the white of the snow behind her, those dark eyes had never stopped glancing back at your home while her power flickered restlessly around her. Natasha knew your relationship with Carol was complicated, it had been for quite some time. The other woman had reached out to you in the hopes to be with you, Natasha had seen the countless invitations to travel through the universe with Carol as well as seen those stares filled with longing that you usually missed.

The door behind her opened and closed, a couple of soldiers left the protective barrier of the bunker to share a smoke. Natasha cocked her head frowning, her thoughts going back to you and the recent complications in your life.

The return of Wanda had been a surprise, not only for you but for everyone. Natasha sighed lifting her eyes to the sky, when did their life's turn so complicated?

“You're thinking too hard,” Yelena approached her sister, the bags under her eyes the only evidence she hadn't had a good night's sleep since your disappearance.

“I am thinking enough.” Natasha replied, Yelena hummed standing beside her eying Carol before settling her eyes on Natasha.

“Why is it so difficult to have any leads?” Yelena grunted, kicking the snow under her feet.

“Apparently is not easy to find the right universe they went through,” it was Carol the one who answered, her voice dripping sarcasm, “I guess there is nothing we can do but…”

“Wait?” Yelena shook her head, “I'm tired of waiting.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, she opened her mouth ready to answer when the air and earth around her started to shake. She frowned positioning her feet on the ground, flexing her knees and lifting her arms to her chest height. Yelena took the same fighting position while Carol stood straightened up with her eyes focused on the spot where a small whirlpool of sand was moving fast on the ground. Electric waves projected blue and silver lights through the air, while the sound of a vacuum filled the silence of the plain.

The commotion brought everyone to the spot where the two widows and Captain Marvel were standing. Tony put on his metal glove with Strange lifting his hands ready to form a shield. With an explosion a portal in the form of a five-pointed star appeared out of thin air and three people came falling on their faces just before the portal closed.

Just as sudden as the event had come, it went away leaving everyone open-mouthed, shaking with eyes wide opened watching the three women now standing in front of them. 

You smiled sheepishly scratching the back of your head, your eyes going from Tony to Carol then falling on Yelena and Natasha. The tension was quite evident, and the silence that followed the explosion could be broken by the fall of a single needle.

Wanda came right in with America closed behind, the cold of Norway sneaked inside your clothes making you shivered but you did not move. You knew the moment you crossed the portal you would find everyone waiting, you never imagined Carol or even Tony would be there.

Before you could do or say anything Carol came right at you, her frown softening just as her eyes twinkled with emotion. 

“Y/N?” Her name on her lips made you smile, though a sudden grip of pure coldness grasped your heart and a heavy weight settled on your stomach.

“Hey, Marv.” 

Carol didn't even wait for a confirmation or more words, her arms wrapped around you holding you with the desperation Carol had felt in the last couple of days and all the love she had always felt for you.

The tension broke, and soon voices could be heard though you were too lost into the embrace to make out any meaning behind the conversations, or to even notice the saddened figure of Wanda who was standing just behind you with her arms around her and defeat written all over her face.

____________________________

A part of you knew what was waiting at the other side.

You were really surprised to see Carol there, but what really caught you off of guard was the hostility with which many were treating Wanda and America. You knew some of the agents from SWORD were quite reluctant to accept any innocent claims coming from Wanda, they had been under the hex and had experimented firsthand the emotions and mental manipulation the witch had imposed upon them.

Their anger could be understood if not justified.

However, as soon as the three of you were free from the hugs and welcomes from everyone else, you were taken into custody to start the normal procedure of investigation. You had been lucky enough to have Natasha and Carol with you, their interrogation always going back to what had happened, where were you and how you came back.

It was a tiresome day, but by the time a new morning came you were happy to discover you were given a nice breakfast and a couple of explanations of what happened after you disappeared. You were tired of talking, too many memories, and too many thoughts invaded your head and it wasn’t until Yelena and Natasha put a violent stop to all the questioning that the agents from SWORD and SHIELD didn’t let go of you.

You rubbed your shoulders glancing at your reflection, the woman staring back at you was looking tired though she was also slightly sad. You sighed putting a strand of hair behind your ear while fixing the shirt you had put on, with a last glance to your reflection you left the bathroom only to stop startle at the woman waiting for you on the bed.

Carol Danvers had not changed too much.

The both of you had not seen one another for over six months. You had been tied to earth, while Carol was still trying to make of the universe a better place to live on. The both of you had clashed more than once, and passion had been the main rule in the relationship you two shared; but words of love and tenderness were scarce and sometimes whispered in the hidden shadows of the night.

Carol sighed lowering her gaze to the floor before lifting her chin to stare at you.

“How are you feeling?” She finally asked though this was not what she wanted to say.

“I’m better, I guess. Tired, and hungry.” You offered a smile approaching the other woman until you were standing right in front of her.

Your hand lifted to brush away her golden hair, Carol closed her eyes leaning into your touch while letting herself feel the closeness of your body. At some point she had been desperate to break into the hex to get to you, to save you from the clutches of an ex-lover you seemed to carry everywhere you went. Now that you were there in front of her, Carol felt you had gone to a place she could not follow.

It was at that moment, Carol realized she had fallen in love with you.

“Quite the adventure you have, eh?” Carol chuckled shaking her head, her hand grabbing yours. “I can’t hardly believe you were in another universe.”

You winced holding yourself from putting your hand away, “yeah, it was kind of crazy.”

“Which part?” Carol asked, and this time around she couldn’t hide the reproach on her voice nor the jealousy she had felt when she found out Wanda had been with you all this time.

“Everything, carol, everything was kind of crazy.” You hardened your tone, stepping back only to be stopped by the other woman.

“I’m sorry, I just…” Carol trailed off, and you let out a shaky sigh.

“Look, it was not easy, okay? First I got into a body that was not even mine, in a world I didn’t even recognize, to a live I never thought would be mine.” You lifted a hand to the back of your neck. “Then I come here to face an interrogation that took most of the day and night only for you guys to find out that yes, this is me. And yes, the multiverse does exist.”

“I was scared.” Carol finally stated. “As soon as I came here, you were gone then they started telling me all these stories about Wanda and the hex, and then how everything was just the same here, and…”

Both of you fell silent for a moment, your heart beating painfully inside your chest. You knew it wasn’t Carol’s fault, and you knew the one who was all defensive was you. You felt guilty because you had allowed your emotions to take over your reason and that might get the woman sitting in front of you hurt.

“I’m glad you’re back, and I’m glad you’re cleared of any wrongdoing, now that Wanda is under custody…”

“Wait, what?” You stopped Carol mid-sentence, Carol was left slightly confused just as she noticed the sudden hardening of your stare. “What do you mean that Wanda is under custody?”

This time around Carol couldn’t hide her annoyance, she stood up crossing her arms.

“It was quite obvious, wasn’t it? She had a history of creating these strange hexes, then she came here with a girl that can travel through the multiverse, whatever she was trying to achive…”

“It wasn’t Wanda’s fault.” You stated forcefully, Carol scowled rolling her eyes.

“Right, now you’re on her side?”

“I’m not…” You took a deep breath, “I’m not on her side, Carol, but didn’t you hear my story?”

“Quite frankly, I only heard the part in which you found out those twins of hers were actually yours and not Vision’s. In another Universe, not this one.”

The moment those words left her mouth, Carol knew she had said the wrong thing. Your whole body went completely rigid, and your eyes flashed a dangerous black twinkle that sent shivers down Carol’s back.

“I am not happy about the whole situation either, Carol. But I am not going to blame someone that had nothing to do with what happened here, or even Westview.” You straightened up walking past Carol to grab your jacket. “Now, I will go to straighten everything up, even if I have to break her out of jail and fight whoever I have to.”

“Don’t leave.” Carol wrapped her arms around your waist, she pressed her forehead against the back of your head. “I’m sorry.”

You were breathing hard, the anger boiling inside your veins while her words resounded inside your head. It wasn’t so much of what Carol had said, but actually the real meaning behind those words. Everything had happened so fast, everything had been so overwhelming that you hadn’t had the time to think, to process everything that had happened. You were trying to stop your spiralling world, but every time you got a chance to stand still something came rushing in to shake you again.

A part of you knew Carol was not to blame, not completely. You were looking for an excuse, for something to make you feel better and not as shitty as you were feeling at the moment because of the confusion you were experimenting. For the love you still held for Wanda, while your affection for Carol was not enough.

You turned around wrapping your arms around her, your lips found hers and soon the both of you were giving in the passion you always felt around one another. Carol held onto you with the need of a thirsty woman, and you held onto her with the desperation to quiet down your thoughts and doubts. The kiss turned into a full make-out session that led to Carol straddling your lap on the bed; your hand sneaked under her winter jumper her skin warm under your fingertips, twitching with every single caress.

“Y/N.” Your name left her lips in a needy whisper, and all it took for you was to hear your voice to know you had to stop.

You leaned back placing a single hand on her shoulder and the other one on her hips stopping the thrusting of her hips. She was slightly dizzy, her cheeks flustered with her pupils dilated, she had a silly smile on her lips nuzzling her nose on your neck. You tried to return the smile but couldn’t instead you brush her cheek with the back of your hand, leaning into place a single kiss on her forehead.

“What are you doing?” She finally realized you had stopped; you were trying to get away from her while being as gently as you could.

You opened your mouth to confess, to actually come clean and tell Carol how what you were doing with her was not fair. But the blond-haired woman put a single finger on your lips, her lips curling into a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“I just have to go back.” You said placing your hands on her hips, “if what you’re telling me is how things turned out to be I have to intervene, it wouldn’t be fair.”

Carol shifted standing up and moving away from you, she cocked her head shrugging.

“I guess is not, if Wanda did help you out and was not even involve in the whole fiasco it is not fair to pay for everything.” Carol didn’t leave out of her comment the partial fault that the other woman had, at least for what had happened back in Westview.

“Will you come with me?” The question left your lips before you could stop it, Carol shook her head placing her hands inside the pockets of her jeans.

“No, I think I will wait here for you.”

There was nothing else you could say, and if she were to be honest Carol didn’t want to hear any more explanations. The blond-haired woman leaned in pecking you on the lips before nodding towards the door of your room.

“Go on, be a hero.”

You chuckled nodding briefly before putting on your jacket and leaving the room.

Carol stood inside your room for a long time, she leaned back against the dresser while her eyes fell upon the picture of you with Natasha and Yelena resting on the bedside table. Carol had known from the moment she laid eyes on you that a relationship with you would be dangerous, you had always been quite reserved and kept yourself out of any emotional attachment. Carol had been stubborn, curious as to what really was behind your cold façade only to discover a smart and funny woman behind it. She had fallen in love with your smile, your wit, and the way you always seemed to find the bright side of things even though your perception of your own life was quite poor.

Natasha had warned Carol about your broken heart, she had told Carol how difficult it was for you to actually open up to love again. But at that point Carol would take whatever you were willing to offer; she never thought there would be a time in which she would need to give up her relationship with you.

With a last glance to the picture, she turned around and left the room.

Love was a complicated it deal.

_________________________________________________

Yelena could sense your anger even before she could see you approaching the bunker.

From the very beginning she had been opposed to the idea of keeping America and Wanda in holding cells like common criminals. What happened in Norway had not been their fault, they had come all the way to the city seeking protection and help, and that was exactly what Y/N, Natasha and Yelena had done. America was a teen just getting the ropes of her powers, while Wanda…well, with Wanda things were complicated it. But at the end of the day, she was not a bad person. She just had really bad luck.

Yelena cleared her throat glancing at Natasha who was on her feet as soon as she sensed your presence. You were coming with silent rage, your whole-body trembling stretching your powers to the shadows inside the room. Two agents came at you, ready to stop you but were unable to move their feet from the ground.

“Took you long enough.” Yelena said looking at her nails, you snorted stepping closer until she saw Wanda on a chair being held with some sort of necklace on her neck.

“Well, no one told me about this, so it was kind of hard to come before Carol let it slip.” Your fists clenched close, Natasha stood by your side pointing to the cameras and then to the two agents questioning Wanda.

“She is going to be charged.”

“With what?” You replied shaking your head, “where the hell is Tony? Why is he allowing this? I thought he has some jurisdiction in these situations…”

“He does.” Natahsa stated softening her stare, “that’s why he is not here.”

You scowled glancing at her then at Yelena, you opened and closed your mouth several times before pointing a finger at them.

“You allowed this to happen?” The rage you were feeling increased, but before you could say anything else Yelena came from behind you.

“Wanda did.” Yelena glanced at you then at the woman being held inside the room, the questions and the gestures of her jailers becoming increasingly demanding and aggressive.

“What?” This time around you were confused, Natasha softened her features knowing that you had been confused ever since Wanda came back into your life.

“You have to understand that whatever happened to you three, Wanda feels responsible for most of it. She took her responsibility since she was not allowed to do so before.”

Natasha could see how your processed her words, she grabbed your hand in hers squeezing lightly.

“But it wasn’t her fault, Agatha…”

“Agatha disappeared, remember?” Yelena continued, this time around you understood there was nothing else you could say, you could suddenly read there was more at play than just Wanda turning herself over.

Natasha and Yelena were not in the room by chance, you looked out of the corner of your eye the guards still struggling against the invisible ropes holding them on place. When you turned over to the room, your blood boiled in anger knowing that as always there was a hidden agenda trying to get a hold of powered individuals. This time around they had set their eyes on Wanda, who wouldn’t want to change the world around them? To get a hold of an individual that could take your through the multiverse, the power to shape the world to your licking.

“I hope Tony has pretty good lawyers.” You stated before moving past Natasha, your hand lifted pointing at the door of the interrogation room and pushing hard until the door crushed the wall at the other side of the room.

“Agent Schultz, I hope I am not interrupting anything important.”

__________________________________________________________

Wanda wondered not for the first time how much hatred and revenge people could harbour in their hearts.

When she first broke the hex from Westview, she could see the fear in the eyes of the citizens as well as in the eyes of those agents she had captured at some point. She remembered the demands for her arrest, the harsh wording in which they were demanding for her to be imprisoned or at least held tightly unable to use her powers.

It had hurt, it was Lagos all over again.

The accusations never left, and the mistrust in some of the people’s eyes had always been there. It never went away, and Wanda had always been looked at with fear, resentment, and pity; she had tried her best, even with Steve by her side, it was impossible to get past such negative sentiments and thus she had decided to just keep to herself.

“What do you have to say, Maximoff.” The agent pointed to the file with his index finger, the agent to his side playing with a black gadget. “This would be, what? Your third time trying to break into the natural order of things and use your powers to…what exactly?”

The collar tightly wrapped around her neck sent jolts of electricity through her neck, shoulders and arms. It wasn’t the first time she was subject to such a gadget, and the memory was still burned deep inside her mind while the pain felt extremely familiar. Wanda held onto her emotions with as much dignity as she could muster, she could feel her power build up inside her ready to explode and let the men in the room why messing up with a witch like her was a mistake.

She was not about to show them she was the monster everyone believed her to be.

So even through the pain, and the questions that repeated themselves Wanda held herself proud and calm, hoping that Tony and Strange would keep their word and get her out of there without any physical fight.

“I think agent Cho asked you a question, Maximoff.” The black-haired man holding the switch of the collar asked leaning forward. “We need answers, what else can you give us?”

“Nothing else, agent Schultz, I already told your superiors everything they need to know.” Wanda clenched her jaw, her lips trembling lightly when another shot of electricity went through her neck and limbs.

“You are answering to us right now, Maximoff.”

“You were telling us about a different universe, tell us exactly what—” Agent Schultz stopped talking when the hinges from the door gave with a crashing sound and then the door exploded around them.

Wanda never entertained the idea of you coming in her aid.

In her mind, she had always thought you were happy with her gone, after all, that had been the deal when this whole ordeal started. She sat straightened up on the chair, her eyes to the door where you stood up with blackened eyes and silent anger all over your features.

“Agent Schultz, I hope I am not interrupting anything important.”

“Y/N! This is not going to be…” The man trailed of making gagging sounds at the black hand wrapping around his throat.

“I thought everything had been cleared out when I was taken into custody and given my testimony, I don’t understand why Wanda and America are being held under such deplorable conditions.” You pushed the agent back stepping closer to Cho who was trying to get the black switch while looking for his gun.

“I don’t think so, pal.” Yelena stepped on the wrist of the man smiling down on him. “I was waiting all day to do this.”

“Why didn’t you?” You replied crushing the device while approaching Wanda, your eyes locked with hers.

“And taking away from you the chance to save the damsel in distress? No way.” Yelena chuckled cuffing Agent Cho.

You snorted grabbing the collar while locking eyes with Wanda, the young witch didn’t say anything but her cheeks coloured red and her lips curled slightly. You winked t her, unable to help yourself before opening the device making a gesture of disgust.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Your voice was but a whisper, Wanda shifted on the chair letting go of the breath she had been holding ever since she had been incarcerated.

“What could I have said to them?” She replied watching as Natasha and Yelena started barking orders around the bunker.

“Perhaps, that you are one of the good guys?” You could see the flicker of doubt in those green eyes, Wanda lowered her gaze lifting her brows.

“Am I?” She dropped her shoulders, her lips trembling as she continued, “I made a lot of mistakes, Y/N, I’m just trying to pay for them.”

You pursed your lips, this was not the first time you heard such words coming from Wanda and while at first you thought it was the minimum she could do after all the pain she caused you; right now all you could think was to take away the pain and loneliness that seemed to be written into those green irises.

“You have paid for them, Wanda, you don’t need to punish yourself anymore.” Without thinking too much about your own actions, the back of your hand brushed tenderly on Wanda’s cheek just before your fingertips traced the marks left by the collar.

“I still think there is a lot I have to pay for, perhaps…once I have paid off my debt you…” Wanda trailed off unable to continue, you opened your mouth to ask Wanda what she meant, what she wanted to say but before you could do it another set of footsteps came rushing in and soon the both of you were engulfed by the arms of a teenager.

“Y/N! Wanda! You guys are okay!”

Wanda hugged America back, her eyes locking with yours for a moment. Your heart skipped a beat, your hand finding hers in a single touch that lasted long enough to leave you yearning for more; Wanda from her part got hope ignited inside her heart, and once more, wish she was brave enough to do what Scarlet asked of her. To fight for you, to not let go.

To let herself be loved by you.

____________________________________________________

America had never lived so much in so little time.

For a moment, when she could finally stop to take a breath, she felt as if years had passed and she had been thrown into a rollercoaster that took her from open danger to the next one without giving her the chance to assimilate everything that had happened.

That was until she had reached your universe.

Yours and Wanda’s.

America took a sip from the hot chocolate she had been offered, the room was filled with some agents and civilians, all of whom were just grateful that everything was over and life was going back to normal. Or as normal as it could be in a world filled with powered people and aliens running around the universe; America pursed her lips, knowing full well that after Y/N had come to pull her and Wanda out of the interrogation cells something of great importance happened for soon SWORD and SHIELD left.

No questions asked, no more attempts to capture and incarcerate Wanda or herself.

America let her eyes wandered around the room until she noticed Wanda on the far corner of the room. The young woman was alone, with her eyes gleaming with deep emotion she was trying to conceal behind the locks of hair and the glass she took to her mouth every five seconds. With a frown, America followed the stare from Wanda only to see you at the other side of the room.

Unlike the woman she had been back in the other universe, or whenever she had to fight, this Wanda was looking defeated. It was not hard to know why, you were laughing allowing an intimate caress and hold from Carol Danvers who was whispering something into your ear while Natasha rolled her eyes.

You looked happy, completely taken by the blond while Wanda remained in the shadows.

“They are complicated.” Yelena stood by America’s side, her accent dripping through every word.

America pursed her lips shaking her head, “I don’t understand why it is so complicated.”

Wanda’s attention was soon claimed by Tony, the man sat beside her talking slowly with gestures of his hands ensuring the young woman was really paying attention to him. At that moment, your attention drifted to her, your eyes softening slightly while your body turned completely ready to make your way towards her. A hand on yours stopped any movement, and while it looked as if your attention was claimed once more, you couldn’t help but look back to where Wanda was conversing with Tony.

“It is not so easy to forget and forgive,” Yelena shrugged following with her eyes the same scene America had been watching all afternoon. “They had been badly hurt, I don’t know much about Wanda, but Y/N was really hurt by the cheating. She felt as if no one could love her anymore.”

America winced for the very first time understanding where your anger came from, sometimes people ignored what others were experiencing and they forget that the pain and trauma was personal and not just something that could be turned on or off at will.

“But they are still in love with one another, isn’t it obvious to them?” America let out a heavy sigh, “it should be easier, after all this time…”

Yelena snorted this time around she turned to face America.

“You really think love is enough?” This time around Yelena’s eyes softened slightly, it was quite strange to find someone so innocent yet so hardened by the circumstances she had lived.

“It should be, right?” America hesitated chewing on her lower lip, “I mean, if love is not enough then, why are we doing what we do? Save people, save the world.”

It should be that easy, Yelena agreed. Yet she understood why it was so complicated, the former Widow could see your hesitation, the tension in your body for staying beside Carol while the longing in your eyes revealed your real intentions. You wanted to go to Wanda, just as Wanda wanted to go to you ever since you had rescued her from the interrogation room.

Love should be enough.

And now, all they had to proof this theory was time.

But time was not enough, and sooner or later, you and Wanda would need to decide what you really want and what you were ready to give and sacrifice.

++++

“I heard you were saved by Y/N.” Tony sat beside Wanda following the stare of the young woman until his eyes found the form of Y/N. “She came in, broke the door and scare shitless those Agents before putting you out of harm’s way.”

Wanda blushed trying to hide away her expression, she couldn’t help but turn her attention back at you. It had been a moment she had treasured in her mind, the soft caress of your fingers while your words reached the deepest of her soul. She never imagined anyone would come to her rescue, much less the very same woman she had hurt so much in the past, yet here you were ready to break havoc as long as Wanda was fine.

“S-she did what any of you would have done.” Wanda glanced at Tony who merely snorted shaking his head.

“We left you with them, didn’t we?” Tony leaned back letting his eyes wandered to the window, his voice just above a whisper meant for Wanda only. “Everything has been straightened up, you have been cleared of any charges and if you want to, you can come back with me to the State or stay here…whatever you prefer.”

Wanda huffed shaking her head, “I am clear? Just like that?”

Tony shrugged, Wanda narrowed her eyes at the man pressing her lips together.

“What did you do?”

“What I should have done a long time ago, Wanda.” Tony leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. “You have suffered enough, I think after everything you went through in the past, and what happened recently with Westview and America, I think you deserve a rest.”

When Tony saw the hesitation in Wanda he placed a hand on top of hers, squeezing tenderly onto her hand.

“It is time for you to be happy, Wanda. There is nothing else to it, but a chance that this universe is giving you to be happy.” Tony offered a smile, his eyebrows wiggling playfully while his eyes were pointing to you. “I’m not saying is gonna be easy, and it probably won’t end where you want it to end, but it is worth a try.”

“She is already happy, and she is with someone else. I just…I’m happy for her, I don’t think I will be bothering her anymore.” Wanda whispered with her heart breaking inside her chest.

The woman tried to be strong, while also feeling a weight she didn’t know she had been carrying lifted when Tony finished his speech.

“I want to thank you for what you did, even though you did leave me on that interrogation room.”

“It was for a good cause, believe me.” Tony clasped his hands in front of him, furrowing his brows with his eyes following your every move.

Even if Wanda refused to see it, it was quite evident for everyone all you wanted to do was to go to where Wanda was sitting. Your eyes had barely left the young woman before her attention was claimed by Carol, though the Captain was not being successful in her mission. It seemed as if you had eyes only for Wanda.

“I think you should speak with her, Wanda. This time around without missions, or the past getting in the way.” Tony finally spoke, making sure Wanda could no pretend she wasn’t listening. “You two lived quite the adventure in this other universe, and believe when I tell you, whenever you get a chance to see the life you could have, the love you could share, the children you could have…well, your life changes completely. Talk to her.”

Wanda couldn’t help but glance at Tony with a new hint of respect behind her green eyes. She had known the playboy, as well as the businessman and the Avenger; she had seen many faces of Tony Stark but this parental one was the one she loved the most. Wanda wished she could be as optimistic as he was, that she could see what everyone was seeing; but she couldn’t and her heart was not ready to take in another wave of heartbreak.

“I will do it but, I need a favour.” Wanda said with her mind already deciding on her course of action.

“Whatever you want, little witch.”

Wanda smiled sadly at the nickname, she turned to you and with a last, longing stare she turned to Tony with a request that left the man highly surprised and confused; behind such a request, Tony could make himself an idea on how the conversation between Wanda and yourself would end up in.

He couldn’t help but feel sad.

Tony had always thought you and Wanda were meant to be together, that the love you hold for one another could work miracles.

Now, all he had was a hopeless hope that you would let go of the past, and that Wanda would not let go of the present.

_______________________________________________

Wanda woke up with a gasp.

She was breathing hard, cold sweat rolling down her face and back. Her breathing laboured, burning her lungs trying to regulate itself while the images invading her mind stumbled one after the other. 

There was not a single noise around her, the room was filled with darkness, to her left she could see the flash of a reflection in the window leading to the backyard. The white dots of snow falling, breaking the otherwise blackened night; even though she could tell it was a cold night, her room felt warm. Unbearable warmth.

She lifted a hand to her face, touching with her fingertips the tears wetting her cheeks. Wanda wrapped her arms around her legs, putting them towards her chest, placing her forehead on her knees. The dream had been so vivid, she could see every single scene playing inside her head, her last chance slipping away through her fingers and she was still unable to do anything at all.

Her dreams had been plagued with the memories of Westview and the Blip, she had seen as you slipped away only to come back filled with hatred turning your back on her while walking away with Carol by your side. Her dream had shifted at that moment, and she was back in The Raft tied to a wall with a collar that held her in place while sending electric shocks that made her feel a blinding pain. You were there, laughing with Tommy and Billy glaring at her while asking you to leave Wanda behind.

Wanda held back a sob trying to put the memories of the nightmare away from her head. She tried to get a hold of herself, taking deep breaths while putting together a set of memories that soothe her soul. Tommy and Billy were the first ones that came to mind, her children had been real; they had existed in the way Wanda had imagine them at first, with you by her side rasing them as your own. Wanda couldn’t help but smile when these memories came with a set of pictures she had seen back in the other universe, the both of you had really gone through a lot of hardships, but always together.

Wanda broke into a half-smile remembering the sweet smell of your perfume, the aroma that was unique yours when she woke up in the hospital. The conversation Wanda held with you, while the shared company and closeness gave Wanda hope that things would be different; Wanda lifted her face trying to hold onto the tears while she finally remembered how you came into the interrogation room and pulled her out of the shackles that had been trying to hold her while she was being interrogated.

Wanda remembered that moment, her heart had fluttered with hope when you stood up for her. She had almost melted away when you grabbed her hand leading her to the closest room before offering a half-smile. Wanda had dared to hope until Carol Danvers came right in and you were swept away almost right away.

With a heavy heart, and tired limbs Wanda stood from the bed. Her throat was dry, hurting just enough for her to look for some water hoping she would be protected by the dark of the night and the tiredness everyone in the house was feeling early into the evening.

The house was just as silent as her room, and the darkness was only broken by the strange appearance of a silver moon that came along with snow. Her naked feet made a tapping sound, leading her way into the kitchen, the cold of the night finally reaching out her heated skin making her shiver. She furrowed her brows wrapping her arms tightly around her body until she finally reached the kitchen.

Wanda stopped dead on her tracks when her eyes found those of yours sitting at the table. Her heart skipped a beat, while her lower abdomen filled with butterflies, but with all of this it also came the shadow of her reality. Her eyes dropped to a spot on the floor, her mind and soul pulsating trying to get her to say or do something. The part of her she had shut was stirring restlessly inside her.

She didn't expect to find anyone in the kitchen much less you wearing nothing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“Hey, couldn't sleep?” You placed your arms on the table, steam coming out of the mug you had in front of you.

Wanda was not looking so well, you noticed. Ever since you got back she had been all quiet, standing as an outsider while facing interrogation and examinations before joining the celebrations.  You couldn't help but notice how far away she looked, yet how close she wanted to be. She was looking just as confused and lonely as she had been the first day she got to your place, your heart shrank painfully thinking about her. 

 “I was thirsty, that's all.” She stated pointing with her finger at the counter, “I'll have some water and then…”

She wiggled her fingers trying to look everywhere but at you, her feet taking her hurriedly to the counter only to crash against one of the chairs. You were on her in a second, your arms holding her softly, smiling amusedly at her. Wanda looked mortified, her cheeks burning red and her hands trembling, unable to stay still while touching your arms.

“Sorry, I didn't see where I was going, I just…” you furrowed your brows, letting Wanda push you away while making her way to the counter.

“That's okay.” You went back to your previous position, frowning at the mug.

The silence that followed was broken only by the running water and the sound of glass being moved away. You grabbed your mug, taking a long sip from your tea, not moving a single muscle as you heard Wanda pouring the water and taking long sips from the glass. 

Wanda dropped her eyes to the sink, she didn't expect to find you in the kitchen but now that you were there she wanted to scream. She wanted to wrap her arms around you, she wanted to hold onto the memories she had of you two being young and in love, as well as to hold onto the life that could be hers if she hadn't messed up.

But she held herself, her knuckles going white for how hard she was holding onto the edge of the sink. She was too late, always too late.

No! You told me you will fight back, that you won't give up on her!

Scarlet's voice resounded inside Wanda’s mind but the young witch shook her head. She wanted you to be happy, and Wanda was not sure she was the person to make you happy. You had moved on whereas Wanda had tried to hold onto hope.

A hand on her shoulder made her jump startled. She turned around to see you standing there with your empty cup and concern flashing in your eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, just…” Wanda sighed offering a shaky smile, “I guess I'm still shaking after the interrogation. I never got to thank you for backing me up.”

You offered a tiny smile, shrugging as if it had been nothing when you knew it had been everything for you.

“It wasn't fair how they were treating you, Wands. You did nothing wrong and people should stop acting as if you did.” Your replied was directed to what had happened recently, though you could see the weight of the memories inside Wanda's eyes.

“Some things were my fault.” Her voice dropped, her heart was beating fast at your closeness, the hand you still had on her shoulder.

“Some things we cannot change, nor can we control. Stop beating yourself up for that.” You wanted to add something else, but just as Wanda, you were confused.

Everything that had happened was overwhelming, it forced you to face a past you couldn't forget, it put you and your feelings for Wanda on the spot. It made you question why you were never able to forge a real relationship with anybody, and why watching what could have been in another world hurt the deepest part of your soul and heart.

You were still in love with Wanda.

But things were complicated.

“I guess you're right.” Wanda offered a crooked smile, she stepped away from your touch looking away from you. “I still have nightmares.”

Her admission broke your stance, you lifted a hand to her face brushing away some locks of hair while looking directly into her green eyes.

“That's the reason why you are shaking right now?” You asked in a whisper, your hand warm against Wanda's cold skin. “That's why you woke up?”

Wanda closed her eyes, weak under your touch and tenderness. She tried to answer, but you stepped closer and all her thoughts and reasoning left her weak on the knees. You softened your features, leaning in until your warm breath brushed against the skin of her neck and ears.

“I'm sorry you still have nightmares about it.”

“It's not your fault.” Wanda finally answered, her voice shaking. She lifted her left hand wrapping it around your hand. “Y/N…”

It was the tone of voice that broke the spell, you frowned stepping back a little. Wanda seemed relieved, though also disappointed, her green eyes begging you to not play with her. 

“Have you ever thought about what would happen…” Wanda started but you cut her off with a gesture.

“All the time, when I'm alone and I cannot quiet down my thoughts.”

“Are we happy in your thoughts?” Wanda knew she was not being fair with her questioning, but she needed it to know.

She needed hope 

“We are.”

Wanda leaned back trying to smile but coming off like a grimace.

“That's good.”

“Have you ever thought…” You started but Wanda was even faster than you on her answer.

“Yes, every single day.”

You tilted your head furrowing your brows with squinted eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“There hasn't been a day I haven't thought about you, about what could be.” This time around it was her the one that stepped back, she couldn't take her eyes off of you. “I hoped at some point I could win you back and perhaps everything would be back to normal.”

“Things cannot go back to how they were, Wands.” You tried to soften the harshness of your voice with the nickname but it didn't work.

Wanda winced looking down at her feet, she grabbed the counter with her hands her back to the wall and a single rute of scape available to her. 

“I know.” Wanda whispered, her lips curling into a bitter smile. “That was the moment I thought of Westview, I just…”

In the last couple of days, you had learnt so much about her and yourself that a part of you understood why Wanda had done what she did. Now it was easy to understand why Vision and not you had shown into the picture, why Wanda needed to be weakened mentally and physically before Agatha could do as much damage as she was allowed to before taken over. 

For the first time, in a very long time, you took your time looking at Wanda. Your eyes went from her naked feet, wiggling fingers trying to get warm to her legs covered by a single pyjama pants and a sweater, her face was pale with bags under her eyes that had always shone with sadness in them. Her hair was long, a little unkept, as if she had woken up, a copper-like colour that had always suited her complexion. Wanda was beautiful, and our heart twisted pleasantly at the sight your hands twitching at your side wanting nothing more than to hug the woman in front of you.

“Things cannot go back to what they were, but they can be different, Wands.” This time around you said quietly, Wanda lifted her eyes but she could not read into your expression. 

“What do you mean?” She whispered hating the bubble of hope that grew in her heart.

“I mean that we…I mean, we can be friends.” You backed away not daring to say anything else, not daring to expose yourself once more.

The bubble of hope exploded in a spiral of cold nails that went through Wanda's heart. Friends. That was all they could be, right? Things coils be different this time around, a moment in which you were only a friend destined to just not be close enough.

“That…that sounds good.” Wanda tried to smile, her lips trembling under the weight of her emotions.

You offered a tentative smile, “you can…I mean, now that everything is ready, America was thinking on staying over, so if you want…”

“I'll leave tomorrow.” Wanda rushed the words one after the other, her right hand fixing her hair while the left one picked on invisible threads on her sweater. “I…I talk with Tony, and everything is ready, I just…”

You stood expressionless, frozen on the spot while processing Wanda's words. The woman was babbling, never looking at you while bouncing on her feet 

“I promise you I will be out of your way as soon as this is over and, I think it is time, I just thought you should know.” Wanda winced, stepping forward, walking past you without taking notice of the pain written all over your face.

“Friends would be good, I guess…we could try it.” Wanda turned around only to see you with your back to her. “Good night, Y/N, sleep well.”

Wanda left and the coldness of the night followed her all the way to her room. She never got a chance to see the broken stare in your eyes, or the same coldness taking refuge in your heart leaving you open to what you really wanted but didn't dare to have.

_____________________

You didn’t say goodbye.

You were not ready to do so, thus you decided to just hide away and pretend Wanda hadn’t come into your life the moment winter began. It was easier than just face the fact that Wanda would leave you behind.

It wasn’t as if she owed you something, that had been the deal. You helped her and America and then, they needed to leave. You had been so full of grief and rage at that moment, you never imagine your emotions would change and that you would be faced with the situation you had been in.

Everything happened too fast for you to just think about it. And, when the moment came for you to do something, you just cowered away.

It was easier.

Running away was always easier.

By the time Wanda had arrived at your home, Winter had started. The days had been short, and the nights long and cold where the northern lights had been visible for most of the inhabitants in the North. 

You had been so busy with what was happening, that you had forgotten the magic hidden behind the green and golden lights that ignited the sky. Sometimes it changes into a pink colour, twirling above your home with a flicker of lightning just before fading away. 

You had chosen Norway due to its weather, and the quietness of the land. Not many tourists came to the fishing town, and the house you had bought was at the edge of a barely known road. It had been perfect for you to hide, and to run away; now it was looking like a prison, a place you could not escape from when everyone else seemed to walk away.

The wind was particularly strong that morning, it came with frozen bites on your uncovered skin. You turned around watching the mountains stretching through the horizon, the dark waters reflecting the darkened sky.  You had come to the lighthouse to think, and to forget.

But you were failing quite miserably.

The first time you walked away from Wanda, you had done so without even saying goodbye. This time around, you had run away before she could say goodbye to you.

You wished there was something you could do, something you could say to Wanda that would change the situation. But you weren't sure what exactly you could say, you and her had ended the relationship a long time ago, and right now whatever you two had was just a shaky friendship.

“Fuck!” Your scream could be heard through the sound of the blowing wind. 

“Why are you so frustrated?” Yelena was leaning against the wall, she was wearing a white, winter jacket with her brows knitted together.

You grabbed the railing shaking your head, your lips broke into a bitter smile. Of course, Yelena would be there watching your breakdown, Natasha had been like a mother to you offering her arms and shoulders for you to rest and let go of your pain. But Yelena had been the sister that made you face reality of what you were feeling, what you wanted and what you really needed.

“I don't know.” You turned around resting your weight on the railing, your eyes finding those of Yelena. “I've been thinking about everything that has happened, and I just…I don't know.”

Yelena nodded in understanding; she stepped closer to you crossing her arms. She was covering the fact she was freezing at the moment, her body shivering under the heavy weight of the jacket she was wearing. 

“You don't know or you just don't want to know.” Yelena glanced at you out of the corner of her eye, she wrapped her arms around herself pursuing her lips. “I think in the last couple of weeks you have to finally face a situation you had been evading for far too long.”

“I don’t know what I should do, ‘Lena.” You whispered frowning deeply, “everything had been clear a couple of months ago, I was happy until…”

“Until you received the videos?” Yelena set her eyes on the horizon, before tilting her head to turn her attention to you. “They were sent by someone inside SWORD, Agatha had more than one ally in the organization.”

“How do you know?”

“Natasha asked me to investigate while you were away, it wasn’t that difficult to find some of the records.” Yelena shifted the weight of her feet her hand sneaking inside her pocket. “I don’t think you travelling through the multiverse was part of her plan, though capturing you and getting Wanda, America and yourself in the same place was.”

“She wanted our powers, same old story.” You shook your head, “do they ever get original?”

“Don’t think so.” Yelena chuckled bumping against you, her face softening while she put from her pocket a single envelope.

“What is that?” You eyed the object with curiosity, Yelena pursed her lips before stretching her hand and presenting you with it.

“Before she left, she wanted to give you this.” Yelena frowned observing as your expression changed, you went from being slightly relaxed to a tormented soul in a second. “Whatever happened in the other universe, whatever happened in Westview, whatever happened when the both of you were young…I think, Y/N, you need to face the past and decide what to do with yourself and with her.”

You grabbed the envelope, taking care of the letter inside it.

“She left.”

“She did.”

“Yelena, I …” You couldn’t finish your sentence but Yelena was not expecting you to, she smirked shaking her head while rolling her eyes at you.

“The thing about love, Y/N, is that you can’t predict it, you can’t control it, and certainly, you can’t choose who you fall in love with.” Yelena said simply. “Now, it is up to you what will happen next, I think by now we all know what Wanda really wants, and who she really loves.”

“I thought you hate her.” You never took your eyes away from the letter, Yelena snorted shaking her head.

“No, I just didn’t like her that much, you were a mess when I met you.” Yelena stated turning her attention to the house. “She is not so bad, after all.”

You snorted shaking your head, with some reluctance you put the letter away wrapping your arms around Yelena, the young woman smiled allowing the comfort of your embrace while you two made your way back into the lighthouse.

The letter heavy on your pocket, your mind wanting nothing more than to know what Wanda had left behind. It wouldn’t be until latter that day that you would have a chance to read it and, by then, Wanda was too far away trying to hold back her tears while convincing herself she had made the right decision.

Wanda left thinking she would never see you again, and you read the letter knowing you needed to see Wanda again.

At the end of the day, it was about love, and what we did to get a little of it in our lives. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next Chapter: You read the letter, Natasha reads the letter, Carol finds the letter, and Yelena and America are kinda desperated with you pinning for Wanda and not doing anything about it. Wanda is finally getting some peace, learning about herslef and her powers when, all of a sudden, she receives a surprised visit.

[idontliekmondays]

excerpts from a daily mail article released shortly after her arrest

When members of the Geneva High School role playing club asked 16-year-old Lindsay Souvannarath to choose a character they were expecting an elf, a sorceress or perhaps a female warrior.

But the shy, clean-cut teenager opted for a rather more unsettling choice, presenting them with a detailed pencil drawing of her chosen persona - the 'Nightmare Nazi'.

The trench coat, jackboots and gas mask were unmistakably those of an SS soldier; the skeletal hands clutching a vast dagger more akin to dark fantasy art.

Former classmates at Geneva High recall Lindsay Souvannarath as a shy, withdrawn youngster, who had few friends and instead sought out after-school groups and writing clubs to express her creative side.

But she was also prone to bouts of anger and violence - allegedly stabbing another student with a pencil in one outburst and occasionally letting slip an alarming infatuation with the Third Reich.

'On first impressions I didn't think there was anything too strange about her,' he told Daily Mail Online.

'She could be funny and intelligent but most of the time she was quiet and not very warm or outgoing.

'One year her character was a sort of Wonder Woman-type heroine, then all of sudden she tells the group she wants to be a Nazi ghost.

'You choose your species and come up with a back story. Hers was that her character was a guest from a crazy, dark Nazi universe.

'It's supposed to be a game in a medieval, fantasy setting but she would just argue if she didn't get her way.

'So we went on our quest with a robot, a couple of elves, wizards and this weird Nazi.

'Aside from the character's background he didn't do anything racist or too alarming. We didn't know about her interests at that time so we just got on with it.

Ms Szigeti recalled how Souvannarath began to idolize black-death metal bands in her mid-teens.

She became particularly infatuated with Varg Vikernes, a white supremacist musician convicted in 1994 of killing a rival guitarist and burning down three churches in Norway, describing him as 'cute' and writing essays about him.

'Her work was always dark and full of violence, there were soldiers and Nazis and all this weird stuff,' Sabrina said.

'She acted normal on the surface. She was never physically violent but she would get aggressive and upset if you criticized her.

'Everyone was uncomfortable but we just avoided trying to start a fight with her. 'If you asked her straight up 'are you a Nazi?' she would argue that she wasn't.

As far back as 2007 - when she was just 15 - she allegedly wrote 'free speech is dead' in one forum, adding: 'That's why we need people like David Duke to bring it to life again.'

In another warped entry, writing that same year under the pseudonym Snoopyfemme she wrote: 'They use sex in commercials all the time to sell products. Why don't they ever use violence?

'Wouldn't you love to see a bunch of guys tearing each other apart with machine guns to get a bowl of Cheerios?

'Sure, it might traumatize our children, but in my opinion, children aren't being traumatized enough.

'The only reason for Americans to breed is to create more soldiers to fight for freedom. We need to weed out the weaklings early on. Survival of the fittest, man.'

'She was very odd to the point among a lot of our classmates that no-one was surprised by her arrest.

'She was a very lonely person - but she isolated herself. 'From what I remember she was even suspended for stabbing someone with a pencil in middle school.'

'She was known for putting spells on people. She would do it by saying weird things and then putting on a curse - obviously we did not take her seriously.

'She would break out into laughter in the middle of class for absolutely no reason.

'When we saw that Lindsay did something like this, nobody was surprised. She was the one most likely.'

source

[romsabombs]

it's that time of the month again guys!

Malevolent part 47 The Hand live notes!!!

AMAZON AD👹 ANOTHER AD ANOTHER AD ANOTHER AD CAN WE JUST START THE EPISODE

FINALLY!!! um whats happening

are their asses still wandering aimlessly

six hours bruh 💀

a cage :/???

a what

a crime! no doubt!🤓

HAHA HE HAS THE PLAGUE i said yesterday That man probably has every disease by now

hes gonna die so bad guys hes a sick victorian child

ohhh john please carry me to the garden so i may see- um Hear the flowers one last time🤒

his sickness😟 i cant believe our actions have consequences

theyre ganging up on yorick😭

HAHA hes fine Physically me asf

"indescribable horrors" that doesnt stop john from describing every horror in immense detail

"we both have" im sorry john did you get stabbed like eight times🙄 this aint about you

💀he folded💀

HAHA so he wasnt lying damn😭 I KNEW IT blud was so ready to kill more children

john defending his comfort character

😟Sold Your Soul😟

"i offered myself to it" gayass

this speech goes so hard actually

NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC

omg it sounds more hopeful now :((

aw he thanked arthur :)

god damn it yorick🙄

WHAT does the corpse have the hand

i mean they did pinky promise

HIS EYE 😦😦

loose enough to pry with ur fingers😨

yorick is building frankensteins monster i fear

MALEVOLENCE MENTIONED NO WAY NO WAYYYYYY NORWAY IS THIS WHY THE SHOW IS NAMED THIS

can yorick lie is that a thing😟😟😟

come on arthur you were a boyscout u can climb this easily

"the pole is wood" just like mine haha🙏🙏🙏🙏

theyre gonna start a forest fire😶

just throw something at it guys idk

omg a pin‼️ throw something at it!!

"excellent hypothesis my king🤓" "JOHN👹" "right!!🤓"

THEYRE GONNA THROW A ROCK YEAAAAA💥💥💥💥

hows he gonna throw when hes blind

why is he so good at throwing wtf

i guess we cant stay here throwing rocks for the entire episode

ALEXANDER :333

EUHGHH😟😟😟😟😟

DONT THROW ROCKS AT BIRDS THATS HOW THE HORRORS HAPPEN

maybe alexander isnt evil n hes just trying to protect us idk🤕

"i was never much for athletics" we can tell

theres gotta be a theme this season and its gotta be Children or Childhood or something

"if they could see me now" mmmm

WHAT IS THAAATT HUHHH

😨😨😨😨

WHAT IS THATTTTTTT WHAGAAT

maybe its just a freaky bird

hes so good at falling down holes

WHAT HAHA WE CANT RN😭😭

😦ERM? YORICK???????

KELLIN MENTIONED big day for gay people 🙏🙏

so was yorick always evil orrrr coz he said My King instead of john and yorick has called him john before

guys i think alexander might be the Not Evil one here

hand of malevolence would go so hard as like a window decoration

ur telling me john knew what a Hand of Malevolence was and didnt link it to the dark world

NOOO DUMBASS

ummm 😟 whats all this then

YORICK :3333 HIIII :3

what 😀

"john" :3

HAHA what is going on bruh

OMG WHAGT 😃😃😃 thats banger

"thank you i think"

:(( aw alexander IS evil :((((((

she? 🤕

OHHH IS IT LILITH IS IT LILITH PLS LILITH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

lilith and kayne are having a custody battle over them funny as hell

OHHH she was in the portal

TEEHEE WE'RE HER FAVORITE :33

dont confront her i feel

but theyre BOTH terrible at lying🤕

they're cooked i fear

hes DYING😟😟😟😟😟😟

An Owl Being Strange

flies are insects darling

they finally appreciate yorick :)

john we dont have time for this omg

HAHA silly asf

they have a safeword now

harlan's really making us work for it like im gonna forget this if they dont point it out

the candle has been running out for hours fr

nooo :( r we approaching the ending

how do we still have like 15 minutes left

HAHA this is so funny theyre roleplaying

theyre yes-and'ing like theatre kids

i mean i bet she noticed yall were gone for a solid 15 minutes

so is the king in yellow just not a threat anymore like did we defeat him i forgot

are we in an alternate universe then

i know far too much!🤓☝️

arthur caught the decima virus i fear

STOP COUGHING im so worried

arthur needs his vaccines fr

is he gonna faint

"and if i am sick-" "you are😐"

OH the ring

hes really gonna go over there and spread his plague around 🙄

i feel like arthur wont even make it to the castle🤒

he coughs like a dad

"lean on me" maybe if you had a physical form😐

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

we just have to wing it i guess

its WHAT😨

what is going on man 😟

UM😦🤕

WHAAT THATS IT? wtf

[hoe4sports]

“I don’t know how to live without you.”

Caroline Graham Hansen x reader

A/N: light angst

You were woken up by your girlfriend who was tossing and turning in the bed. “Caz, you okay?” You mumbled half asleep as you tapped your watch to make sure that you hadn’t overslept. “Mm” she said in a huffed way leaving you confused. Caroline was normally one to take her sleep very seriously as nothing was gonna ruin her recovery. Caroline lived, eat, trained and slept for football. And lately she hadn’t felt successful as before.

It had all started back during the women’s World Cup with the drama around the Norwegian coach and rumours of her not treating the girls right. She had on multiple occasions taken girls like Ada and Caroline out of the starting roster leaving everyone confused. Caroline had gotten enough and spoke up about the situation causing a huge press mess. She was forced to apologise infront of media, and you could tell in her eyes that she hated every second of it. That was when she said that she was gonna have a break from the Norwegian national squad. Weeks later, she had begun preforming poorly in Barca games only scoring 1 goal in 8 games which was nothing like her. This had all gotten to her and during the stress of the last few months you had often found her tossing and turning at night causing her beautiful eyes to be dark and puffy in the mornings. You felt close to falling asleep again when she tossed again.

“Caroline? What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing, go to sleep skatt»

“Caroline?”

“I said that it’s nothing, I’m just not tired”

“Mm”

“What? It’s true! I just sometimes cannot sleep.”

She snapped as she walked to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. You had gotten so little sleep over the last few months between being awake with her and watching her while she slept to make sure the world wouldn’t come crashing down on her. All of this caused you to fall asleep. You brutally woke up an hour later to her being back in bed, silently sniffling under the blanket. You scooted into her and held her tight. It seemed to ease whatever was on her mind. She laid there until she suddenly opened her mouth.

“Would you still love me if I didn’t play football? If I quit Barcelona? If I quit the national team? If I just wanted to give up everything and move back to Norway?”

You felt confused as she had never mentioned moving back to Norway before. She had religiously stated that it only felt right to her to be in Barcelona so you felt taken by a shock. You couldn’t stutter out an answer as you were trying to make your brain function.

“Be honest. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m not scoring. I’m not winning. I’m getting no recognition. I’m getting shit all day long from coaches, media and fans. God, I really am letting everyone down. How is that even possible to let that many people down at the same time? I shouldn’t be all-“

“Caroline” you yelled. “Stop baby, what’s going on?”

She turned around to look at me as she buried herself into the crock of my neck. “I’m a disappointment to everyone. The coaches, the team, the staff, the fans; I haven’t even been paying attention to you. I can’t remember when I last did a load of laundry, or vacuumed or made dinner or got groceries or go-“

“Baby, I take care of these things and of you because you have a lot going on at the moment. You are in the height of your career, flying so high everyday, inspiring little Norwegian girls to play football.” You reassured here as you rubbed her back.

“No, but the thing is. The fans stopped loving me, then the team, then the coach and you. I can’t lose everything all at once. I don’t know how to do it without you.” She sniffled.

“Kjæresten min, I love you for your silly side that very few people get to see, for the way you always push me to be better person, for how serious you take your work, for living for your passion, for you. Not for how many leather circles you can kick in a net.” You said as you tried to reassure her even more.

“But the fans? The coaches? Everyone just hates me. What if you realise how horrible I am and you start hating me. God skatt, I don’t know how to live without you.” she rambled on and on about how everyone hated her.

“Okay, baby, listen; I’m not going anywhere. You are not going anywhere. Tomorrow, we will find a psychologist and book an appointment. We can go in and talk to the team doctor to get you some time off. You need to see that there is a world where you don’t run around after footballs all day. One day, that world will be your new normal. And you know what? That world dosent suck. It has flowers, colors, animals, exciting food, fun experiences, new people and so many places to see.” You said as she nodded slowly realising that she was caught up in her own mind.

“And when that time comes, Caroline - I’m gonna be here right with you holding your hand as we navigate through it together.”

She yawned as you kissed her forehead shoving her face into your boobs as she was falling asleep. The most beautiful girl that you had ever seen had finally let herself rest. You adjusted slightly so you could lay down comfortably without feeling like your neck was gonna fall of your head while still keeping her close facing your chest.

“Im gonna marry you one day, trust me.” She murmured as she started snoring leaving you shocked.

She had never spoken about marriage or commitment to anything but football in a positive way before; and you were just praying that she would come around.

[basu-shokikita]

Possibility, a Toki from a different reality

So @dalberadiata has an AU where Toki never left the cult and, therefore, never joined Dethklok. But the call of destiny is much stronger, so he accidentally catches a glimpse of Dethklok when they're visiting Norway and pretty much instantly becomes infatuated with Skwisgaar. The interest isn't one-sided and Skwisgaar teaches Toki about the world of music...and many other things. 🎸💘

I've been wanting to do something with this AU for a while because I'm fascinated with it. So, after many talks, I decided to write the scene where Toki wears non-religious clothing for the first time. More specifically, the clothes Skwisgaar lent him. Needless to say, this is a Skwistok AU 🥰

You can also read this work here!

Hat in his hands, Toki looked at his feet. Or rather, the lack of them. Covered by the dark robe he had been wearing everyday for the past 8 years, it was like he was floating on the floor. Some kind of ghost that still managed to trip on his non-existent feet sometimes. 

His eyes kept going back to his legs, his arms, his torso, his neck even. All dutifully covered so there was nothing in sight, nothing to tell apart. Not even the top of his head was safe, protected by the hat of the same color of his robe. He was one undefined silhouette not to be confused by a mere mortal wearing vulgar clothes or showing skin. At least, that’s what his parents had taught him. 

He was always to be covered, never to expose anything. Never to embarrass or as shame the family with his indecency. Long ago were the days where he was allowed to wear a simple t-shirt and shorts for his daily duties. He was a real member of the family now and he had to behave as such.

His eyes met his own hesitant reflection, worry scattered all over his features. Should he really be doing this?

“Eh, Toki,” Skwisgaar put down the black magazine he was reading. “Don’ts..think abouts it too much.” 

Toki glanced at Skwisgaar in the reflection, and simply pursed his lips in response. He knew Skwisgaar meant well, but he had no way to understand. He had no idea what this meant for Toki, the weird guilt swelling in his gut just from his thoughts. The feeling that his parents, his dad especially, had always been right about him. That he was a failure to the family and the whole town.

He tossed the hat on his bed, as if that would make his dad’s eyes stop glaring at him from inside his mind. He wanted this. He wanted to do this.

“Okay.” He said, more to himself than Skwisgaar. “Turn around.”

“Whats?” Skwisgaar squinted like he hadn’t understood him.

“Turn around.” Toki repeated, this time gesturing with his fingers.

Skwisgaar grimaced for a good couple of seconds before throwing his palms into the air and turning around. “Talks about overkills…” He muttered under his breath but Toki still heard him.

Not that he cared, this wasn’t about Skwisgaar, it was about him and he wanted it his way. This was hard enough as it was, he didn’t need Skwisgaar’s prying eyes on top of it. Toki inhaled deeply and then closed his eyes. He counted until 10, an old trick to calm down his anxiety that he had learned from a nice old lady at the local market a couple of years ago. Then, he exhaled slowly and opened his eyes. 

His stare wasn’t all quite confident, but he had to make do. Determined, he brought his hands to his collar and started unbuttoning his robe. It had exactly 16 buttons, so he took a while to undo them. The buttons were worn out and old so they always took several pulls to get off the buttonholes. One time, as a teen, Toki suggested getting new ones but his mother gave him a glare of disappointment that made him never want to ask again.

Undone, the robe fell to the floor and Toki’s first instinct was to immediately pick it up and carefully fold it to place it on his chair. However, his fingers hesitated when he was inches away from the floor. 

He remembered the first time he refused to wear the robe, because it was uncomfortable to wear, to move in. Because he thought it was ugly, because he was tired of following this charade he had never wanted to be part of. 

His dad ordered him to take off his clothes and made him stand in the snow for hours, with nothing to cover himself with. At some point he lost consciousness, and when he recovered it, he was shivering in his bed. His dad told him, just as cold as the snow that he had been surrounded by, that it was his own doing for rejecting the Lord’s graces.

A few years later, Toki fell off the mountain while running errands. He slipped with the ice and rolled for a few meters before crashing against a rock. He managed to limp his way down, though his sides really hurt and he was pretty sure he was bleeding from his leg. When his mother saw him, the first thing she was worried about wasn’t him, but the robe. 

She made him take it off, quickly tossing the snow off it and washing it to remove Toki’s blood. Not even a glance of concern when Toki was stitching himself as she dried the robe next to the fire and carefully sewed the holes back. Toki watched his mother treat his robe with more care and gentleness than he had ever received from her. 

When, just two years ago, Toki had taken his picture with them. It was his first official family picture. During his childhood, he had only seen his parents in the framed photographs around the house, never seen himself, like he wasn’t allowed to be part of it. So, he was pretty excited, to be finally acknowledged by them. He tried really hard not to smile when the town’s photographer came to take it. 

However, when he saw the final picture, he felt nothing but cruel disappointment. Because the person in it, between his two parents, didn’t feel like him, it didn’t look like him. With the serious face and the dark robe, he looked like any other member of the sect. Nothing to tell him apart from the rest, and that’s exactly what his parents had wanted all along for him.

Toki straightened instead, not even giving a spare glance to the robe on the floor. He proceeded to unbutton his dark purple shirt, trying not to feel self-conscious when the skin of his chest began to reveal itself. He always undressed looking away from the mirror, it was a habit his parents had taught him. Dress with the mirror, undress without it. Flaunting one’s own skin, even in private, was sinful.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Skwisgaar’s head move. “I’m not ready yet!” He said, trying to inspire obedience but his voice came out squeaky instead.

Skwisgaar grumbled but he didn’t try to take a peek at least, and Toki was relieved. Undoing his pants took him way less time than the rest, and he just let it join the robe on the floor, along with the shirt. 

The clothes Skwisgaar had lent him were resting on the edge of his bed and Toki hesitated again. Was this really him? Maybe he shouldn’t mess with the order after all. Maybe he shouldn’t be tempting…he didn’t even dare to think of the word. His eyes wandered around the room, until they finally fell on Skwisgaar’s mane.

Luscious bursts of golden cascading down his shoulders, leading to that black leather jacket that had enraptured him since he first saw him and the tight black pants that followed, finishing up with the elegant black boots of the same color. He was beautiful and, just as important, he was free. And Toki desired that freedom just as much as he desired him.

He made up his mind and grabbed the shirt first before forcing it down his neck and torso. Then, he spread the pants and shoved his legs inside. It was definitely tighter than he expected, and he had expected a lot. As he struggled to make his groin somehow fit comfortably between the fabric, he realized Skwisgaar was most likely a smaller size than he was. The last touch were the black combat boots that, ironically, were a tad bit too big for his feet. 

With one last exhale, Toki took a glance at his reflection and almost didn’t recognize himself. 

His usually hidden shoulder-length brown hair was exposed and slightly disheveled from the movement. His torso was adorned by a short-sleeved black shirt with an over-designed skull and the name of a band he didn’t know in red letters. The shirt had probably been loose on Skwisgaar but on Toki it fit just right. The faux leather pants made noise whenever he moved and, just like he suspected, made his crotch stand up. Packed with combat boots, they made him look like a rockstar, even if he could still see the reluctance in his expression.

Toki tried smiling, then he tried frowning and struck a pose. He put a hand on his hip and one foot in front of the other one and feigned the smugness he often saw on Skwisgaar. It made him laugh to see this much arrogance in his face, however, and he ended up cracking up in front of the mirror. Sighing, he stood straight and contemplated himself. It was weird, and it definitely didn’t look like his usual self. But maybe it could be.

Maybe this could be him.

Also, he could finally see his feet step on the floor, how crazy was that? Toki Wartooth, finally allowed to have visible lower limbs. Absolutely insane.

“Oh, heys.” Skwisgaar said, walking up to him with a smirk. “Has I met you befores?”

“Pfft.” Toki snorted, though couldn’t erase the coy smile on his face, especially not when Skwisgaar wrapped an arm around his waist. 

“You looks good in my clothes.” He said, eyeing Toki’s body. His stare stayed for a little longer on Toki’s lower abdomen before it went up again. “Ja?”

Toki averted his gaze, chuckling lightly. “I look like you.” He said, feeling his cheeks heat up from Skwisgaar’s attention and proximity to him. 

Skwisgaar took a whiff at his collarbone. “Smells like me toos.” There was something suggestive about his eyes, and Toki could’ve sworn the room was getting hotter despite being in the middle of winter. “Heh.” Skwisgaar seemed satisfied by the reaction and pulled away. “Wants to gets out of here?”

Toki didn’t expect that, though he wasn’t against it. “Where are we going?”

“There’s ans a metals show in the towns.” Skwisgaar said, his eyes were smiling at Toki with tenderness he hadn’t seen before. “I can gets us there.” His thumb slightly brushed Toki’s chin. “Hm? What you says?”

Light blue eyes got starry from the idea alone and Toki swallowed heavily. His first metal show ever…he imagined a raging crowd and killer instrumentals. An imposing vocalist growling incomprehensible lyrics, the chaos and sweat in the atmosphere…

His heartbeat sped up from anticipation and Skwisgaar smiled at him. His first metal concert would be with Skwisgaar of all people. Toki couldn’t help thinking it was the perfect date. A nod. “Let’s do it.”

Skwisgaar’s smile turned into a grin as he laced his fingers with Toki’s and dragged them away from the room. Toki allowed himself to be led, excitement bursting through his chest. 

When he walked past the door frame he turned around and gave his old clothes one last look before leaving.

He would never look back.

[ladyelissarose]

‘Look Up’ 

 Ghost x female reader - callsign ‘Grenade’

Summary: After a small rescue mission turns out like no one expected, especially Grenade, Ghost is left stuck with her and her struck out heart. His hard, cold heart refuses to comfort hers, but in the end, the tables turned on him.

Warnings:  mentions of deaths, pretty gore, angst, crying, then fluff?

Enjoy!

 “This is Price, how copy?”

The 141 Task Force were all separated as they searched the grounds in between trailers in Norway. The sun had begun to set, painting the skies an orange color and clouds a light pink color, a little tint of indigo could be seen on the very top, near the heavens, but was overpowered by the suns brighter colors. The cold weather in their atmosphere was quite bearable, but that didn’t stop them from excessively sweating with anxiety. 

  “This is Ghost.”

 “This is Soap.”

 “This is Gaz.”

 “This is Roach.”

 “This is Alejandro.”

 “This is Grenade.”

After Grenade gave out her name, in her delicate but deep voice, Ghost being himself was the first to speak up in confusion about the new voice,

  “Price who’s Grenade?”

Price looked behind him and saw his new addition to the team, Grenade, who was trailing behind him closely, maybe 5’5 in height, sporting black cargo pants along with her favorite dark grey oversized shirt, that was tucked in as neatly as possible, shielding her chest was her bulletproof vest. Her round eyes were focused, sharp, and her gloved hands held her gun in perfect position. Price was pleased with Grenade and smiled to himself as he replied simply,

  “Couldn’t debrief you boys this morning, but the recruit you all have been asking for was sent in by Laswell today. Later I’ll introduce her. For now let’s focus, have any of you seen that trailer?”

 ‘Her? He can’t be fucking serious...’ 

 Ghost thought as he rolled his eyes to himself.  Sure, he had been expecting a new recruit, (though he wasn’t part of the guys that had asked for one) but what he didn’t expect, was for it to be a woman. He had no hard feelings towards them necessarily, but just the thought of knowing that they can turn out to be like mean bitches like Valeria, (whom he wholly hated) or they can be completely mushy and useless, he never saw in between or a better version. Soap’s voice broke through the radio and through Ghost’s thoughts as he replied to Price,

  “I haven’t seen it yet, what if they took it already?”

In that moment Roach’s voice came through, informing Soap and the rest,

  “I don’t think so Sergeant, been keeping watch all night and up until you guys arrived, and no ones moved in or out.”

  Alejandro huffed to himself as he questioned Price,

“Don’t you think by now we would’ve heard movement? Noise? I’ve heard absolutely nada.”

 Grenade who had been silent the entire time as she heard her new teams members communicate, felt suspicion at what Alejandro had said, he was right, they were on a rescue mission after all, and yet, none had seen or heard any signs of life. She sighed to herself as she finally voiced out her thoughts, as she suggested to Price who was in front of her,

  “Captain Price, what if we split? I can take the left here, you take the right, these are the two last rows of trailers anyways.”

 Price stopped walking and thought for a second,

 ‘She’ll be in sight anyways... ok.’

“Alrighty then lass, take the left, I’ll be right behind ya going right.”

  “Copy copy.”

Grenade went straightaway towards her destination, taking cautious steps, eagle eyeing her surroundings, even balancing her every breath. Grenade had been in many situations like these; tense, nerve wracking, holding onto the ropes of hope, in between life and death, name it, she had seen and been through all of it. Yet she stuck her head out and made it, did the impossible, and dared to push herself even more. Half the time (MOST of the time) Grenade was underestimated and seen as weak and useless by those who judged her by her looks and size. But Laswell knew who the real Grenade was, hence why she believed that Price would be pleased to have her included into the 141 Task Force. Grenade was a fighter, defender, cold-blooded killer towards those who wrote their death wish with cruel and abominable actions. She wore a blindfold to heartlessly take down anyone who came in her way with bad intentions or destruction, but once it was over, she took it off and she wore their blood with pride, knowing who she was and what she was capable of. But also, Grenade happened to still have a piece of her heart, that beat with love and compassion towards those who deserved it. Grenade felt no feelings towards dead criminals or even live ones, but show her a baby, and she’ll melt and hold onto it tightly, as if she hoped it would mold into her skin and stay safe with her forever. Grenade had witnessed battlefields from the clean beginning to the bloody end, what once was free and a good land, would become a cemetery for the unrecognizable and unjustly sacrificed. But if you caught her staring into the starry skies it the night or the gleaming, rising sun in the promised morning, you’d probably catch a small smile leave her usual, tight, sealed lips. Grenade was an Aesthete at heart, and adored life when it beamed in the most beautiful and amazing ways, from good people to the simplicity of nature, but she was also a soldier, after a wars’ and combats’ own heart. Grenade passed a few trailers, not seeing the number they were looking for, ‘624’. 

  “For fucks sake...”

 She cursed to herself under her breath as she was close to approaching her two last ones, believing that perhaps they both wouldn’t be what she was looking for. She passed the second to the last one, and checked the top numbers, 

  “379... Nope not it. Damn it- Oh...”

Crossing in front of the last one, Grenade huffed in disbelief, she found it, in bold numbers on the trailer read ‘624’ at the corner. Placing her gun in one hand, Grenade stepped closer to the trailer, and with a calm, subtle voice, Grenade called out as she slightly knocked in the metal door,

  “Is anyone in here? We’re here to help you.”

  Grenade laid her ear against the metal door, letting its cool metal touch her warm face, hopefully waiting for any voice to call out in return, signaling that indeed, there was someone inside. Grenade clenched her fists in sight worry that she wasn’t hearing anything, but let out a soft gasp when she heard the most, childish voice say brokenly,

  “h-help us.”

Grenade immediately stepped away from the door and pressed her radio to signal out to Price and the rest,

  “I found the trailer, I heard signs of life. It’s on left side of the dock, last trailer in the last row.”

 “We’re on your way, Grenade. Start taking them out”.

“Yes sir.”

Knowing that her team was coming her way, gave her enough confidence to engage as Price had ordered. Grenade lifted the heavy lock off the door, grunting while doing so, it felt like it weighed a ton. It took a couple of hot seconds to actually take it off without dropping it onto her boots. But Grenade was successful and began to unlatch the other locks, before grabbing the bottom handle, and pulling it up, opening it. Her heart beat happily at first, wanting to believe that she had found them all, and was going to get them all back home safely. But once she had lifted the door completely, her heart was  crushed, shattered, burned and beaten, as she stood in front of the gates of death. All the bodies inside, laid dead on the cold metal floors of the trailer, their skin was pale, and the fading bruises on their skin looked blue and purple. Grenade blinked a couple of times, wanting to make sure that what she was seeing, wasn’t another one of her frequent nightmares, that haunted her. But every time she reopened her eyes, she was met with the same image, death. Grenade let out a deep sigh, trying to swallow the pit of rocks she felt in her throat. She never moved from the door, but instead looked at every person’s body inside, watching to see if any of them moved because they were still breathing, but they were all completely still. It smelled awful as well, like blood and gore, but Grenade was used to it, she had been the cause of a lot of it too while in combat. Grenade was so into her thoughts, about the injustice of Life itself, that she didn’t even hear the 141 Taskforce arrive, who witnessed her still body, standing in front of lifeless people. Her hands shook softly, as they clutched onto the gun tighter by every passing second. Price could see what was going on with Grenade, he could tell that the image she was staring at, was beginning to portrait itself into her mind, drawing  every detail more haunting than it looks, creating a sense of guilt and sadness that painted the picture black and red, no white or any other color could ever be found. To stop the artistic works of death himself, Price approached Grenade and carefully placed a warm hand on her shoulder as he shook her away from her own thoughts with simple words,

 “I’m sorry lass.”

 Price knew that this rescue mission meant a lot to Grenade, she had been working on it for weeks turned into months, wanting to find the traffickers and trailer that was being used to traffic and harm people. Grenade had flinched at both his words and small hand gesture, but was instantly calmed to hear that it was his voice, trying to comfort her. She appreciated Price, he had been welcoming sense the start, and was the only one willing to take her in. Grenade shook her head slowly as she put forth in a low whisper,

  “I swear I’m not crazy... but I know I heard a voice calling for help.”

Ghost huffed to himself, as he took in Grenade’s words and appearance with utter disgrace, thinking that she was probably going to be one of the mushy and useless ones. He then squared his shoulders and replied in his thickened accent meanly, wanting Grenade to snap out of her self-pity party,

  “Maybe you are bloody crazy. It’s pretty fuckin’ clear they are all dead-“

  Spinning around to disagree with who she thought would be a regular soldier, was stunned for a moment as she took in Ghost’s intimidating mask and height, her heart skipped a beat with fear. After being buried with real skulls for 48 hours because of a kidnapping, it left her absolutely terrified of them. She could right away feel the power and dominance he held. But nonetheless, Grenade tried to maintain her calm and addressed back with a stern tone, wanting to appear not afraid of him,

  “I’m not. I heard someone say-“

-CLICK!

All of the 141 Taskforce’s shoulders instantly tensed as it grew silent immediately, they all knew that sound, by engraved memory ... and their minds registered to them in that moment, that a bomb had just been ticked. Grenade who was closest to the bomb inside the trailer, pushed away Price from her as she jumped to grab the door and pull it down to shut it..

 BOOM!!!

  But the bomb was too quick and sent them all flying, including her before she could even try to close the door. The adrenaline they had from the unexpected catastrophe got them to their feet immediately, grunting in pain through the process. Price was the first to call out as he stood to his feet,

  “EVERYONE ALRIGHT?!?”

Ghost was the second to stand, and he quickly went for Soap who struggled a little more to stand, but as he picked him up to stand, he saw  a group of armored men come towards them rapidly, raising their weapons to fire at them. Ghost held Soap up with one arm and used his free hand to reach for his gun, but he realized he had lost it during the explosion when he didn’t see it there.

  “FUCK!!-“

 “I GOT YOU COVERED! GO!!”

That was Grenade’s voice, that screamed over the rainfall of bullets, she slid on her knees and came to a stand in front of Ghost as she began to shoot at the incoming men, taking each one down effortlessly. Ghost stood stunned for a second, taking in the unexpected sight in front of him, but Soap poked him out of his thoughts as he grunted loudly,

  “We need to get out of here LT.! We don’t know how much more are coming our way! We were ambushed!”

 Ghost shook his head no as he saw Gaz running towards them, he let go of Soap as he ordered him, 

  “No, you go with Gaz!! I’ll stay with this one!!”

Soap was confused for a moment, but he knew that Ghost would protect what was Price’s, even if he didn’t like them. Soap nodded quickly as he shouted,

  “I’m going to find the rest!! Meet us at our place!! Stay alive eh?!”

Ghost could see the worry in Soap’s eyes, but he didn’t have time to comfort the way he wanted to, but instead he called him by his actual name, knowing that Soap knew it was Ghost’s way of reassurance,

  “I will Johnny! GO!!”

Soap nodded then left and ran with Gaz to find the rest. The gunfire suddenly stopped, making Ghost look back at Grenade, who still stood up, while the enemies were lifeless in the distance. He searched for his gun on the floor and found it a few feet away from him. Picking it up he walked to stand next to Grenade, who was reloading her weapon at the moment, but quickly though, Grenade was impressively fast at it, and that didn’t go unnoticed by Ghost. She had taken them all out successfully, and now looked around vigilantly. Ghost stood in the same position as he looked the opposite way she was, waiting for anyone else who could be coming at them. Back to back they ended up, with their weapons held high and ready. Ghost didn’t see anyone coming his way, and when he was about to inform Grenade, she called out to him in a calm voice,

  “And we got more company... fuck.”

Ghost turned around and saw how an outnumbered amount of men were coming towards them. Though he secretly admired the way Grenade stayed put and ready to take them all out with her single weapon, Ghost knew it be impossible after a few rounds, there were to many men who would soon kill them. He saw the maze of trailers that stood next to them, and put his plan to work almost instantly when he grabbed Grenades upper arm dragging her behind him as he began to run off with her. She tried to take his hands off of her as she shouted,

  “W-What are you doing???!-“

Ghost held on to her painfully tighter as he said back,

  “There’s too many!! We’re fuckin outnumbered!!”

Grenade tired to keep up with Ghost’s long legs that took long strides as they ran away, what helped her keep up was the fact that she was practically being dragged by him. Soon they heard bullets flying around them along with frightening shouts, hence making them run faster in between the trailers. Grenade turned back as saw how close they were getting to them, with all her might she yanked her arm out of Ghost’s grasp and grabbed her large rifle from her back, and began to shoot at the men that were trailing behind them closely, missing some others no. Ghost stopped in his tracks the minute her arm left his hand, but he didn’t stop her when she began to shoot, until she ran out of bullets. She screamed in frustration when she found out she had no more bullets on her,

  “FUCK I’M OUT!!-“

Ghost growled in annoyance as he grabbed her arm again, this time even tighter making Grenade yelp in the sudden harsh grasp, but he ignored her pleas as he yelled back,

 “I BLOODY TOLD YA IT WOULDN’T BE ENOUGH!!”

  Soon they ran out of the trailer lot, and up ahead saw the forest of tall, evergreen trees. Grenade pointed towards them as she suggested quickly,

  “Let’s head for the forest! We might find a good place to hide there.”

  Ghost rolled his eyes but nonetheless knew it was probably best, so before they could be seen by the armored men, they ran for it. The thickness of the trees and the darkness that began to cover the skies, helped them blend in and hide well in their dark colored attire. All that could be heard around them was a broken branch here and there, howls of the midnight wolves that cried to the shining moon, as well as the panting breaths of Ghost and Grenade who continued to run deeper into the enclosing forest. 

 They ran for a few more minutes before Ghost hauled them to a stop with his hand raising up in a fist, signaling Grenade to stop running. Grenade took deep breaths as she leaned her hands on her knees, trying to get her mind off of the thoughts that ran through her head. A heavy weight of guilt began to sit in her stomach, as she blamed herself for not being able to rescue the victims on time. She was a part of them, kidnapped along with them, but was separated one day, which she took advantage of and was able to be found after escaping. Grenade promised those she was with that she’d find them and rescue them, but now there was no one to save, they had all been killed. Tears burned in the back of her eyes, and a stone of pain grew hard to swallow as Grenade tried to breathe. Ghost had wanted to start walking again, see if they could find their team, but he saw how Grenade wasn’t moving at all, still hunched over trying to gain composure. Ghost wasn’t a man of feelings or sensitivity, people even doubted if he had a heart, so he didn’t think he was being mean or heartless as he groaned,

  “Stand up Officer, we need to move.”

Grenade waved her hand sighing,

  “Just give me a minute please.”

Huffing in annoyance once again Ghost disapproved,

  “I don’t think so, either you start fucking moving or I’ll leave ya ass here.”

 Grenade grew irritated by his demeanor towards her and could only muster out,

 “Then go.”

Ghost definitely didn’t expect her to want him to leave her alone, he thought his words would get her moving on his command, but instead she stood in place. Ghost looked around and saw how the darkness began to swallow what was left of the light from the sunset, and knew it would get colder and harder to seek for their destination and team. So he then sauntered over to Grenade grabbed her by the strap on her vest and pulled her to stand straight as he pierced her heart with his words,

  “I don’t care who you are or how you fucking feel, if I say let’s go you move. Is that fucking clear for you soldier?”

 Hearing those words from him was what broke the dam of tears for Grenade, freely they began to pour out as his intimidating stance and hurting words scared her, and that only made Ghost more irritated and almost angry. He pulled her closer to his face as he seethed,

  “The day you signed up for this you should’ve known that this would happen, so don’t pour tears... don’t cry. Expect it, and live with it when it comes and pays.”

Grenade didn’t realized that Ghost held her feet high above ground until he let her go and she fell on her bottom. She winced a little but was quick to stand when she saw how he had begun to walk away, putting quite a distance between them. Keeping her eyes on him she ran without watching her steps, which caused her to trip over a few rocks and thick tree roots here and there, but nonetheless she kept up. Ghost kept his fast strides up on purpose, to give Grenade a run for her life, but he kept an ear out for her anyways, hearing for her footsteps that followed after him quickly, maybe Ghost was an ass but he didn’t dare leave a his team behind, even if he thought he hated them. But suddenly he heard a gasp leave her lips loudly and her footsteps came to a stop, he kept walking thinking that maybe she was taking a quick second to breathe, but when he didn’t hear her footsteps continue, he stopped in his tracks. Holding onto the thin thread of patience that was wearing out, Ghost turned around growling,

  “I swear if you don’t move I’ll beat your bloody ass- w-where are you?”

 Grenade was no where to be seen, he only saw the trees he had passed in front of him, which made his heart slightly drop as a tick of guilt pricked it.

 ‘Alright letting her be behind me was my fault. Fucking helll.’

 After admitting his fault to himself, Ghost began to walk towards where Grenade was, but paused when he heard her call out in a strained voice,

  “Lieutenant! Hello?! Hey! I-I fell in a pretty deep hole.”

‘Just what I fucking needed... that’s what happens to short people.’

 Ghost could see where she flashed her light, signaling where she was. He walked toward it slowly, letting the pain of falling in there really dig into Grenades skin, yes, he was being pretty heartless and a bully. As he approached it he saw the big hole, and the flickering light, he looked down and got hit in the face with the light, which made him groan,

 “Turn that fucking light off-“

 “Oh sorry!”

The bright light turned off after it stung Ghost’s eyes, and soon his eyes adjusted to the night and he was able to make out Grenade’s face, which only showed fear and worry, and Ghost was proud he had that affect on her. But before he could say anything which geared towards getting her out, he noticed her face change, and turn into pure awe. And he thought she was looking at him like that,

 ‘Why the fuck is she looking at me like that?’

“Why the fucking hell are you looking at me like that?”

 Grenade gave Ghost silence as only her soft breaths were heard, she continued to look up, and her eyes grew bigger and brighter by the second. Ghost grew irritated by not receiving an answer from her when he asked, to which he then barked at her angrily,

  “GRENADE!”

 Grenade violently flinched at his harsh voice that was directed towards her, and when she actually focused her eyes on his mask, she asked in a soft tone,

  “What Ghost?”

Scoffing loudly Ghost scolded,

 “What Ghost? Fuck... when I ask something of you, you fucking reply!!! Give me your hand!”

Grenade was about to apologize to him but she bit it back, preferring to stay quiet and not anger him more. So she extended her hands to which he grabbed by the wrist instead, and yanked her out of the hole, sending her out of it onto the ground on her stomach. A loud ‘Oof’ left her lips, (for he had kinda thrown her a little harshly onto the ground on purpose, trying to make her see that he wasn’t up for games and bullshit.) But to his surprise, Grenade wasn’t fazed at all by his actions, she instead quickly stood onto her feet and looked up, again, as she explained,

  “I wasn’t looking at you Lt.”

Ghost never looked at her as he fixed his sleeves questioning with a stern tone,

  “What?”

 “When I was in the hole looking up... I wasn’t looking at you-“

 Ghost turned his cold eyes towards her and saw how she was still looking up, making him grow even more irritated,

 “Then what?!”

Grenade walked closer to him, and pointed at the sky with her hand as she said simply,

 “Look up Lt... just look.”

Ghost stayed still, refusing to look up, and continued to eye down Grenade, and for that moment, he actually began to see her. The color of her hair, and it’s delicacy, even when it was everywhere put in place at the same time. Her skin texture that indeed looked better than his, though she had a small scar on her lower lip and cheek and dark bags under her eyes, including a new wound and bruise on her cheek and chin from the explosion earlier. The way she was dressed, it was different, most women he had encountered in his line of work, wore tight, tactical clothing, while Grenade, wore the loosest ones. While taking in her body structure and clothing, he didn’t realize that she had been crying softly, until the most quiet sniffle escape her lips. Ghost’s eyes snapped to her face, and saw a single tear rolling down her cheek, but that’s not what had caught most of his attention, it was what was beaming off of it, a green-bluish light it seemed? He began to see the color turn brighter as it illuminated her skin, which made him turn his eyes to finally look up. And for once after a really really long time, Ghost felt something turn in his chest, like adoration. And for the first time in his entire life, he witnessed one of Mother Nature’s most beautiful creations, the Northern Lights. He let his head hung back to see the whole sky that was covered in light, gleaming wonderfully, it was celestial, unreal, so full of color and life. Curtains of beautiful colors in different shades of turquoise draped over the sky in ecstasy, glorifying itself as the darkness that surrounded it was long forgotten.  

 Grenades voice flowed smoothly as she said in a whispered voice,

 “I never thought I’d see this... it’s one of my million wishes.. one finally got checked off.”

 Ghost’s eyes left the sky for a moment as he looked at Grenade’s face, which was covered in more tears as they continued to fall. Ghost today had seen Grenade, whom he had underestimated at first, thinking she’d be in the way of combat, when she actually stood in front of it ready to take it down. She was known as a cold killer and a fighter, resilient towards anything that came her way, never looked away from her work when she destroyed the bad guys, and never let a tear shed for them. But at the sight of the Northern Lights, she was a teary mess, staring at it with her jaw slacked opened in surprise and awe. Ghost looked down to stare at his boots, but he caught the sight of her hands, shaking and covered in dried blood, making him think for a second, that at the end of the day, no matter who they were and who they killed, they were still human, and had hearts, hearts that could hurt and cry, be joyful and love. His eyes flicked away from them when she lifted a hand and wiped her tears away, sniffing as she put forth,

 “No matter how much death I see everyday, I try to make an effort to look at what’s breathing and alive, to wipe the memories away. And this.. is perfect.”

 Ghost looked back at Grenade’s face, which was already faced towards him as she was looking at him with sincerity in her eyes, sending her warm and inviting gaze towards him, she never looked at his mask, but kept her eyes burning into his blue ones. Ghost felt sunken and taken aback, not taking into thought how much of an affect Grenade was having on him, how much her good heart was awakening his stoned one. He then looked at his feet, and suddenly felt bad for treating her the way he did, so harshly and unforgivingly. Shifting his feet in the ground to sway a little side to side, he tried to ignore the way he was beginning to feel a little warm in his chest. Grenade began to shiver a bit, rubbing her hands up and down her arms to keep warm from the cold, and that’s when Ghost thought it was the best time to show he was sorry. Ghost wasn’t a man of words, he wouldn’t verbally say he was sorry or that he liked something, instead he let his body language speak for him. Shrugging off his large jacket, he quickly placed it over Grenades shoulders, tugging it on so it wouldn’t slip off. Grenade was caught off guard by his sudden change in behavior, but right away grasped onto the jacket and sighed in appreciation as it’s warmth began to seep into her, she didn’t let a second pass before she said,

  “Thank you LT.”

Ghost smiled a little under his mask, and put forth in a calm tone,

  “No problem lass, Do you know my name?”

Grenade looked away from the sky as she took in his sudden question, a question she knew the answer to, so she replied,

  “Yes, you’re LT Simon Riley, but they call you Ghost for a classified reason, hence why you wear a scary mask.”

 Huffing a short laugh Ghost questioned,

 “Scary? That’s a first.”

Shrugging her shoulders Grenade explained shyly,

  “Well, when you’re kidnapped and buried alive with real skulls, it does change your approach to them. Or the way you look at them.”

 Ghost arched a brow as his heart pinched a little her confession, he began to feel more intrigued by Grenade, which is why he went on asking,

  “And what’s your thoughts on skulls now?”

 “Death LT, death... I really thought I was going to die. Shepherd knew where I was all along, yet he left me there to die. That was until Laswell put a team together to find me, which is when I met Captain Price.”

  Searching for her face to read her expression as Grenade told her story, was the most heart breaking thing Ghost could’ve done, cause all he could read was fear. Ghost kept his eyes on her as he went on with the questions,

  “How recent was this, lass?”

“2 weeks ago... it’s pretty recent.”

Ghost shook his head approvingly before looking around to check the area around them, it was pitch black by now, for the Northern Lights had disappeared already, only the moonlight scarcely shone upon them. Thinking to himself for a moment, he made up his mind, Ghost’s heart trusted Grenade for an unknown reason, but it was a chance he was willing to take. After slipping off his skull mask and skull balaclava, Ghost then slowly started walking up to her. Grenade caught that he was moving, but she didn’t spare him a glance, but Ghost didn’t want her  looking away from him as he commanded,

  “Look at me, Officer.”

“LT-“

  “Officer. I’m not going to ask again.”

Grenade swallowed her fear of skulls as she chose to look up at him, but she was met with the most adorning, scarred face. 

Her jaw dropped as she gasped softly,

  “Ghost I thought you never-“

“Shhhhhh...”

Ghost had placed his large hand over her mouth, refusing to hear her words about him hiding his identity. She silenced herself, and took in his appearance with wide eyes. His perfect nose that look a little crooked at the top, maybe from being broken and readjusted at the same time. His gleaming colored eyes, that looked both beautiful but mysterious. The little scars that were here and there, like tattoos of hidden stories. His lips, his lips were pink from the cold, but they still look kissable. Grenade was shaken out of her thoughts when Ghost grabbed her chin with his gloved fingers,  and began to say in a low but comforting tone while looking straight into her eyes with a hint of compassion,

  “Everyday, you and I are going to work together, and worthwhile.. I’ll wear my mask and balaclava. I’ll teach you how to overcome your fear of skulls, for I always wear it no matter who I am with. And also because I know you can overcome your fear lass, you’re a tough one.”

 Grenade nodded at his words, and could only muster out,

 “Thank you, for this and for willing to help me, Price hasn’t been able to find anyone suitable... to help me out.”

Ghost smiled softly and tugged Grenades wrist as they began to walk away,

  “Well now you have me.”

She smiled at him shyly while looking at his scars, but she wasn’t disgusted by them, no.. it was like she admired them, and Ghost saw that, and could only appreciate her more. Which earned Grenade the sweetest words that ever came out of Ghost,

  “You can touch them..”

Grenade looked into his eyes hesitantly, but couldn’t think twice about it when Ghost went ahead and grabbed her hand, planted it on his cheek, nearest the largest scar. He dropped his hand and waited for her to begin to move. Grenade then carefully ran her fingers through them and memorized its texture and interesting shapes, only admiring how he could survive every fight he went through to get those scars. Once she was satisfied with herself, Grenade dropped her hand as she complimented him innocently,

  “You have a very unique face Ghost...”

Ghost sent her a small smile of pride, for he knew he look good, even with his scars, it gave him an extra touch to every beautiful feature he already had, he was just afraid someone else didn’t like them, but he was able to see that Grenade did. 

 He sent her a nod as he appreciated her words, 

  “Thank you little one..”

Rolling her eyes playfully Grenade trudged behind him as he began to walk,

  “Don’t call me little one, that’s why I have the name, Grenade.”

 Ghost stopped in his tracks and turned around before smirking tauntingly,

  “Why, because you’re small but effective?”

  Smiling proudly Grenade confirmed,

  “Yes sir.”

Ghost sighed as he began to walk again pulling her to stand next to him,

“Fucking hell....”

 “What?!”

“Nothing lass... later on you’ll have to tell me how you actually got your name, there’s always a story behind it.”

Grenade tugged on his sleeve before asking,

  “Will you tell me yours?”

Keeping his face straight ahead, taking into note how Grenade kept looking at his face especially his lips and eyes as they walked, Ghost nodded,

  “Sure lass, maybe one day that could be your bedtime story.”

 Bumping into his shoulder playfully Grenade added,

  “Thanks-“

“LT??!”

When Grenade heard the unfamiliar voice she stepped behind Ghost and kicked his knees so they’d buckle and he’d fall onto them. He let out a gasp at her actions but once again stayed put as she stood in front of him protectively she looked around carefully. Soon she saw a couple of figures walk up to them with light and drawn guns, but before she could do anything Ghost grabbed her hip firmly as he said with a small beat of cheer,

  “That’s Johnny! And that’s Roach, they’re safe. It’s ok.”

 “Oh.. ok come on.”

When Grenade turned around to help Ghost up, he already had his balaclava on with his skull mask, making her take a step back while holding in a gasp. But she let out a breath when her mind quickly registered that it was Simon behind the mask, and nothing else.. she was safe and could trust him. Ghost being his observant self had noticed her reaction immediately, but he only approached her, grabbed her hand, and gave it a reassuring squeeze while saying,

“It’s just me, remember?”

With a sigh she replied,

 “Yes... I remember. I just wish I didn’t get scared every time.”

 He nodded understandably,

 “I know... but if you ever go through a tough time with it, I’ll take it off until you’re ready for me to put it back on.”

Grenade nodded with appreciation as he then added to make Grenade feel better,

 “If you can overcome your fear... you can have this one, I promise. I have replaceable ones.”

 Her eyes brightened as she raised her brows,

  “Really? But it’s special to you no?”

Shrugging softly he replied,

 “It is, but you overcoming your fear... would be even more special.”

Once Soap and Roach got closer to them Ghost went back to his stern self, but still sounded calm as he spoke to Soap,

  “Good to see ya boys, is our safe place near here?”

  “It is. Come on, Price and Alejandro started a fire and Gaz started dinner.”

 Roach looked behind Ghost’s large body build and could barely make out Grenade who stood behind him quietly, but she looked calm and comfortable. He sent Ghost a questioning look, as he nodded his head towards her. But Ghost shook his head approvingly as he turned around and grabbed Grenade by the shoulder gently and pulled her next to him as he said the words that made Soap and Roach believe that indeed Grenade was someone to trust, for if Ghost, who was a hard man and had trust issues, could trust her, so could they.

  “Boys this is Grenade, a brave one I tell ya... Price and Grenade will tell the rest once we get there. But I like this one.”

[paikothecateater]

What’s your take on Finland & Icelands relationship?

Also I loved your recent post about texting; how would they text?

Oo~ a two part ask. I love that. You might have just made my night. Alright let's start with Finland and Iceland's friendship.

They're both kind of treated like the children of the group despite Finland being a full on adult, so naturally, they hang out a lot. Here are some headcanons.

-Finland is not a confrontational person. Really, unless his life depends on it, Finland is a bit of a doormat, despite being physically super strong. Iceland on the other hand is the opposite. He will absolutely rip anyone to shreds. I've said this before and I'll say it again, Iceland has single-handedly inherited all the backbone of a thousand vikings. You can't get this kid to even blink, despite being built like a Minecraft skeleton. Iceland will absolutely defend Finland if anyone gives him even an ounce of bullshit.

-Finland is Iceland's ride or die. Iceland needs help hiding a body? Finland already has the shovel. Iceland needs a getaway driver? Finland can't drive well and is about to make it everyone's business. Iceland needs an alibi? Finland already ended any witness.

-they relate to each other the most, and they're also super gossipy whenever they're together. This leads to some of the mean girliest sleepovers in the history of the world.

-I've mentioned before that Iceland subconsciously has very specific rules for who's allowed to touch him. He's almost always fine with Finland. That might be because Finland is almost always leaning on someone whenever he sits on a sofa and that usually happens to be Iceland, so he's used to it at this point.

-they have a bunch of inside jokes they make in front of the others for the express purpose of confusing the shit out of the others.

-Finland is extremely gullible and the others (especially Denmark) use this to their advantage by getting to confuse Finland and having him second guess himself. Iceland is always the one to nudge him while saying something to the effect of 'they're joking'.

-they're both very comfortable around each other and whenever they hang out alone is usually the only time they can really be as silly as they wanna be without feeling judged.

I think that's enough for now, although if you want more, I'm more than willing.

Now for the texting headcanons:

Denmark: this is how a lot of people would imagine Sweden or Germany to text. Very neat and punctuated. He doesn't use abbreviations. He's very quick and will respond within ten seconds.

Norway: he'll un-grammar your English. He also forgets how to spell shit all the time and he's an extremely slow texter, but he reads a lot, so the words he remembers to spell are always words you'd find in historical romance books. All that combines into some of the trippiest texts ever.

Finland: always calls others pet names over texts. Regardless of how close he is to them. Honey, sweetie, love, dear, etcetera. His responses are usually delayed by an hour or so for some reason. They're usually pretty short answers.

Sweden: he's either super dad like, sending thumbs up emojis as responses, or he's arguing with Denmark. No in between. He texts the bare minimum. Abbreviations are his first language. Once he's sure the point of the message is there, he'll just send it even if the message isn't complete.

Iceland: he doesn't text like an edgy dark humour teen. I've seen a lot of headcanons where he's essentially just an emo kid over text, but you have to remember that he speaks very properly. The most teen thing he does is call everyone close to him 'babe' over text regardless of his relationship with them. A platonic babe if you will. He's not super fast and he doesn't always add punctuation, but he's usually very coherent.

I love these asks so much

[mochie85]

Dear, congrats again on this milestone! I’m sooo happy for you and hope to keep enjoying your amazing writing and talent in this place 💜

I want to make a request with a song, just if it inspires you, so no pressure (;

Brut Gold - Chapter 1 Loki & Lia

1K Celebration Masterlist | Brut Gold Masterlist | Complete Masterlist

Summary: Loki sees you dancing in his club and is immediately infatuated with you. Pairing: Mob!Loki x Female Reader/OFC Word Count: Over 3K Warnings: No Smut, angst, killing, language A/N: Part of my 1K follower celebration. I want to thank @coldnique for this request and for introducing me to this song. I love this song! It is now on heavy rotation in my playlist. And the following scenario is what I pictured when I first heard it. So I hope you like it.

The haze of the club seeped through the walls and into the lungs of every guest attending that night. The air was heavy with deep breaths and sighs. The music was so loud and deep you only had yourself for company; because no one else could hear anything you could or would be saying.

The large hall was dark, with vintage speakeasy furnishings and two bars that boasted to have every drink imaginable. There were private booths in the back that were separated by curtains of red and chrome. Curls of smoke could be seen wafting out when the curtains were pushed back to reveal secrets and obscurities.

Beyond that were the private rooms of the owners where they conducted their daily business.

The Odinsons. They were brothers from an old family, with ties to the royal households of Norway dating back a long time. With money stretching even further back.

Back here, the curls of smoke were thicker with lace and the music was replaced by the screams of people whom the brothers had deemed worthy of their attention. Good…and bad.

Loki had just collected his dagger from the body slumped on the floor. His second-in-command, Fandral, quickly approached him and handed him a handkerchief to wipe his blade. “Thank you, kommandør. Be a dear and dispose of the trash, will you?” Fandral nodded silently to Loki as Hogun leaped up to help him.

“Brother, if you keep killing them, we’ll never find anyone to distribute our product,” Thor said, with an amused grin. He sat with his legs crossed on the back couch, looking like a Pharoah presiding over his kingdom. His crisp white suit hung delicately along his muscular frame. Quite the opposite of Loki’s leaner figure clad in an all-black ensemble.

“Well, if we started recruiting more loyal soldater, I wouldn’t feel the need to kill them.” Loki retorted.

Just then, Lady Sif walks through the door with a tiresome expression on her face. “Another one, Loki? I just saw Fandral and Hogun carrying a black duffel bag to the back.” Loki could only shrug as he wiped his blade clean.

“There she is!” Thor yelled. “My wife. My heart.” He held out his arms for her to join him. Sif pulls out her dagger and places it against Thor’s throat.

“Did you have something to do with this?”

“Ooh. I love it when you’re feisty.” He says pushing the blade away from himself slowly. She swings it back his way, expecting an answer. “No, I did not.” He sighs.

Satisfied by his response, she stows her blade and sits on his lap. Loki watches as Thor nuzzles up to his advisor-turned-wife, rolling his eyes at the blatant expression of love between them.

Deep down he knew he was jealous. Not of Thor, but of the connection he has with the person he found to love. But Lady Sif had always been by their side. She grew up in this life. She knows the harsh truths about sacrifice and gains. She was their rådgiver, their adviser.

Loki wanted someone outside of the chaos. Someone who doesn’t know who he is and doesn’t expect anything out of him but love and affection. That was hard to find in the line of work he was in.

He finished cleaning his daggers when Fandral opens the door and whispers to Loki, “It’s done. Volstagg is driving it to the junkyard as we speak. The front of the house needs your presence though.”

“Thank the gods. If I must stand here another minute, I might witness the creation of my future niece or nephew.” Loki whispered back, making Fandral look at what was happening on the couch. He just rolled his eyes and followed Loki out of the room, leaving the two lovers alone.

Closer and closer, Loki struts to the front of the house. The music got louder. The air got thinner. And his heart raced faster in time with the beat of the music.

Loki stopped at the threshold of the large hallway, flanked by Fandral and Hogun on either side. Those closest to them stopped and stared. The three were a sight for sure. All three were dressed impeccably in black slacks and dark shirts. Loki looked the most devastating of all with his shirt sleeves still rolled up and his top buttons still loose from the ‘sentencing’ he carried out moments before.

He looked around the club and saw a large sea of people swaying and gyrating to the music. It was busier tonight than usual. The locals mixed in with the tourist crowd for the summer.

A twinkling flash of gold caught his attention in the middle of the room, and he spotted you dancing on the floor.

Everyone else stared at them. Knew of them. But you- you remained unaffected and joyous as you continued swaying your body to the deep bass of the music. Loki was mesmerized. He’d never seen you in his club before. The sway of your hips made the gold sequence of your skirt catch his eye and he couldn’t look away.

As soon as they sat down, they were bombarded with attention. Some were from lower soldaters, soldiers who wanted to be in the inner circle and paid their respects. While others were of a more sexual nature. Loki ignored them all and just watched you.

He watched as your hands ran through your hair, your body moving to the beat. Your head thrown back lost in the music. He wondered if that’s how you would look, lost in passion, in between him and his bed.

You came in with a bachelorette party. The women you were with all clamoring for attention from the other clubgoers, getting drinks and compliments. You shone brightly behind them, keeping a low profile, just dancing and being protective of your friends who would otherwise end the night with some predator. Loki saw that as a positive quality of yours. Protective, loyal, caring, and gorgeous. He could see all the stares of appreciation you got every time you passed by someone.

He scoffed at the laughable attempts that were directed your way. All of which you turned down. He continued to watch you dance with your friends from one of the private booths in the back. He instructed his bartender to give you and your friends top-shelf drinks and made sure that no one else bothered you for the rest of the night.

Never, had anyone affected him this way before. Just one look at you and he was stunned. He never put much stock in fate or destiny. He always relied on his judgment and instincts. So, this fleeting moment of obsession alarmed him. “Find out all you can about her, Fandral. And don’t alert my brother of your research.” Loki asked his kommandør. Fandral and Hogun looked at each other quickly and let a sly smile pass between them.

Loki would’ve caught their little interaction, had it not been for some ingrate that tried to get handsy with you. Loki growled his displeasure from his seat.  But you quickly slapped the cretin’s hands away and pushed him off. When the lowlife tried a second time, Hogun got up to take care of the situation. He’d seen the way Loki was all night. Loki hadn’t paid a single attention to what was happening in front of him. He was too preoccupied with you. Hogun knew that if things didn’t deescalate quickly, he’d have a whole other mess to clean up.

Loki placed his hand on Hogun’s shoulder, stopping the deadly assassin from continuing. Instead, Loki made his way to you as Hogun followed behind closely. “Thor won’t like this if you make a scene, Loki,” he whispered in his ear.

“Who said I was gonna make a scene?” Loki paused with a solemn face. Hogun huffed in response. “Take that scum to the back. Make sure he doesn’t have use of those hands for the foreseeable future.” Hogun knew better than to roll his eyes at him. He simply nodded and grabbed the offending fool off by his collar.

Everyone gave Loki a wide berth as he walked right up behind you. Up till now, he’d only been watching you. But there was something about that handsy boor that stroked his possessiveness towards you.

He started to sway in time with your body. His arms snaked around your hips, as his lips came dangerously close to your ear. You were about to turn and slap whoever decided to get frisky with you until you heard Loki’s velvet voice caressing your ear, “Dance with me.”

There was a deep command laced in his tone. You had never heard a voice sound so sensual. So confident. His touch was firm but reverent. As if he were the lead dancer instructing your body on how to move. Your body relaxed into his. A sly smile formed on your face as you felt his hands trace your curves.

Loki twirled you to face him. You first noticed his eyes. They were cunning and sharp. They were also the brightest green you had ever seen. His smile was what you liked the most. His thin lips gave way to a wide smirk that promised fun and excitement. You could feel his strong arms holding you close to his body as you both swayed slowly to the fast-paced music.

“I’ve been wondering when you would make your move,” you said to him.

“So, you’ve been watching me, have you? I’m flattered.” Loki purred with a guarded smile.

“It’s hard to miss someone whose got the attention of everyone in the room.” You continued as you swayed your hips.

“Likewise, my dear. I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you.” He whispered in your ear. A blush formed on your cheek from his charm. “Have a drink with me.” His tone left no room for refusal. Loki kissed your hand as he leads you back to his private booth. Everyone you passed just stared at you with judgment or awe.

He signaled to his barkeep for a drink while he held the curtains open for you to slide in. Soon after, a scantily clad woman, wearing the tightest mini skirt you had ever seen, walks up with a tray. She holds out the bottle for Loki to approve and he nods his head without taking his eyes off you. The pop of the bottle startled you and made you jump closer to his embrace. She eyed you suspiciously as she poured a gold bottle of brut with a spade on the front label. His eyes viciously glinted as he felt your body press up against his.

He snaked his arm tighter around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. “Have you ever had Armand de Brignac before?” he whispered in your ear.

“No. I can’t say I have,” you smiled as he reached for his glass, dismissing the bottle girl. Loki held it up to his lips and took a sip. His eyes noted how you looked down at his throat, watching him swallow the expensive champagne.

With closed lips, he leaned in close to you. He pressed his mouth to yours and puckered slightly opening your lips to the cool champagne in his mouth. You sucked on his kiss as the taste of the champagne coated it. It was tart with hints of fruits. The bubbles were still evident as they tickled in between your joined lips. You drank the rest of the champagne from his mouth. His hands held the back of your head steady, helping you drink from him. When you had finished, a trickle fell down your chin to your throat. He was quick to wipe it away with a hooked finger and brought it over to your mouth to lick off.

You played along with his game and wrapped your lips along the length of his finger, licking the drop of bubbly from the bend.

“Delicious, is it not?” his voice hitched.

“Yes,” you said breathlessly. “Very much so.” Your mind tried to catch up. Your body was thrumming with adrenaline and hot need. Your bodies were turned towards each other in the private booth as his hand continues to caress the hairs on the back of your head.

“Would you like another taste?” he offered, looking down at your lips. He grabbed the flute without waiting for your answer. As if he knew you would say yes. Hoped that you would say yes.

“Yes, please.” You whispered, making him smile. He brought his lips towards yours again and you happily drank his sweet champagne kisses. Your hands roamed his shirt, pulling on his shirt collar to move closer to you. When you had drank every last drop, you snaked your tongue in between his lips and tickled the roof of his mouth.

When you finished, you looked down at his throat again and your fingers traced the outlines of a snake tattoo on his neck. Loki rumbled at the feel of your fingers on him. “You dangerous creature. I don’t even know your name.” His breath smelled like the champagne, crisp apples, and fruit.

“My closest friends call me Lia,” you whispered as your fingers followed the tattoo down to his collarbone.

“My friends, if I had any, call me…” Loki started but he was soon interrupted by someone calling out your name.

“Lia!” Your cousin slid the curtains open, much to the protest of Hogun standing guard. She had on a tiara with a veil and a sash that said wifey around her shoulder. “Lia! There you are!” Rosaline glared at Loki and grabbed your hand. “We have to go. Other clubs to visit.” Rosaline gave Loki a tight smile as she pulled you out of the booth. She looks vaguely familiar, Loki thought, but couldn’t put his mind as to where he’s seen her before. The bachelorette get-up surely didn’t help his memory either.

“Ok. Ok. Hold on a second.” You told her as you scooted out of the booth. Loki held on to your other hand, not wanting to let go.

“Lia.” He called out. “Will I ever see you again?” he smiled as you got up from the booth.

“I…”

“My cousins just visiting for the wedding,” Roseline answered. You gave her an angry look for talking on your behalf. “Come on. Let’s go.” Rosaline dragged you quickly away from the private booths and back to the safety of the group of girls you came with.

“What’s the deal, Rose? I thought you wanted me to find someone tonight?”

“Yes! Someone. Just not that one.” She said as she grabbed her purse and coat. Everyone in your group was doing the same, getting ready to go to the next club.

“What do you mean?”

“Girl, do you know who that is? No, of course you don’t. Ugh. Sometimes, I hate daddy for sending you away. All these years without my bestie…”

“Rose! Who is he?” you interrupted her, as she wrapped you in your coat.

“That is none other than Loki Odinson. Part owner of this club. Along with his brother, Thor Odinson.”

“Odinson?”

“Yes! That Odinson! The same Odinson that’s rivals with the Barnes family. You know…my fiancé!” The realization made you look back to the booth you had just shared. Except this time, Loki wasn’t alone. He was accompanied by another man. Striking blue eyes and an imposing figure, clad in all white. Thor Odinson.

“Brother, I leave you alone for a couple of minutes and you cause all kinds of mischief,” Thor laughed as he sat down in the booth. Thor watched you walk away, being towed by none other than Rosaline Strange. “If I ask you to stay away from her, would you listen?”

Loki ignored his question and watched as your cousin, undoubtedly, informed you of who he was. “I saw what Fandral was researching for you. Would you like to know who she is?” Thor dangled the information in front of Loki, baiting for any response.

“Her name is Juliette ‘Lia’ Banner. Daughter of Bruce and Donna Banner. Donna, her mother, is Strange’s younger sister. Her parents both died a long time ago in an accident. They weren’t ‘in the life’ and wanted to keep their daughter out of it as well. When they passed, Strange honored their wishes and sent Juliette away to boarding school and Uni abroad to keep her safe. Apparently, she just graduated and is in town for the nuptials of her cousin Rosaline and James Barnes.”

“Barnes?” Loki said alarmed.

“Of all the juicy details I said. That’s the one you pick up on?” Thor chuckled. “She’s got too many ties for us to unravel Loki. Leave her be.” Thor warned resolutely.

“I don’t know if I can, Thor.”

“What do you mean you don’t know if you can? You have to. Or else…”

“Or else, what? Thor? Cut me off like you did Hela?”

“DAMMIT LOKI! You knew that was her decision.” Thor slammed his fist on the table making everyone in the vicinity jump. “I can’t protect you if you go after this girl. It would be a war for sure with Barnes and we don’t need that right now.”

Loki sat there quietly; watching as your group prepares to leave. “I’ve never lied to you brother…” Loki started. Thor just raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “…Regarding matters of the business and family. I’m telling you right now, that I want her.”

“How do you even know she wants you back? You can have any goddam cunt in here tonight. Hel, this whole club wants to sleep with you. Take your pick. But not her Loki!”

“If she turns to look back…”

You walked towards the front entrance, the chill from the summer night was flowing through the doors making you hold on tighter to your coat. Your cousin and her friends all laugh and beckon you outside to join them. Each step you took forward felt heavy. You couldn’t help it. One last look.

Both men stared at you as you made your exit. Shivers ran down your spine as you replayed his last words to you, ‘Will I ever see you again?’

God, I sure hope so, you thought.

⬅️ Series Masterlist | Brut Gold: Chapter 2➡️

@alexs1200 @a-witch-with-words @athalialaufeyson @britishserpent @cakesandtom @crimson25 @el-zef @fictive-sl0th @gigglingtigger @glitterylokislut @goldencherriess @holdmytesseract @holymultiplefandomsbatman @huntress-artemiss @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @immersed-in-mischief @kellatron55 @kikster606 @kkdvkyya @ladyofthestayingpower @lokidbadguy @lokiprompts21 @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @lokisgoodgirl @lokisninerealms @lokischambermaid @lokixryss @loopsisloops @lucylaufeyson3 @luvlady-writes @michelleleewise @mischief2sarawr @mukagentropy @muddyorbsblr @nopenottodayson @one-oblivious-nerd @ozymdias @peaches1958 @salempoe @sarahscribbles @sarawr-reads @silverfire475 @springdandelixn @starktowerrooftop @theaudacitytowrite @thedistractedagglomeration @thomase1 @vickie5446 @vbecker10 @wheredafandomat @xorpsbane  

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Lords of Chaos - Snowfight and a black Christmas - Door.10

warning : fluff, alcohol drinking, throwing a snowball at a bird

The calendar

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cold was nothing new in Norway, even the summers didn't seem unbearably warm. They were rather tepid and rainy. It was frustrating, depressing and damn heavy metal.

The group could hardly wait for the first snowflakes to fly over the land and the city to finally be bathed in white. Because you die faster in the cold, especially when your limbs are freezing and the group could stay at home.

At home where they could drink beer and play music so loudly that icicles broke down the window and even killed a squirrel. But it was the winter they all went outside for the first time.

The winter in which the Black Circle group got a new member. Their dark ruler, Lillith, who was also their Satan's daughter. The girlfriend of the band's founder, vocalist and Black Circle member.

She was the girlfriend of Euronymous, Dead and Faust, a relationship between the four of them that, although strange at first, had settled down between them all. ,,Come on now! It's snowing!" Shouted the young woman from the group who was already standing at the door. She looked at her loved ones as Dead matched the bright white colour of the snow.

The blonde was in no mood at all in the winter months, his mood seemed to sink even more. The black-haired band leader, on the other hand, didn't seem to identify with the cold and let his fingers glide over the guitar - he definitely had other problems.

Faust, on the other hand, seemed almost like a little child as he had already drunk a quarter of the mulled wine and was waiting for it to take effect.

,,Alright, but just for a moment, we still have to practise," the leader said and she gave him a hasty kiss before he pulled Faust and Dead along with him. The three of them stood outside in reasonably packed winter clothes and seemed to be either happy or hating it.

While Faust started to play with his love in the snow, trying to roll up some snow and throw birds in the trees. Euronymous, on the other hand, made a snowman that looked more like it would jump on children and kill them.

,,Aim a little higher, my death," she said to the blond as she was released by Faust, who gave her a slightly tipsy kiss. The mulled wine seemed to make its effect all the more pronounced in the cold.

Dead only gave a short nod and she rubbed his arms a little, he was even colder than usual and yet she knew he didn't mind. Not yet. ,,You see, it works," she said as he actually wiped out a bird that staggered dazedly and flew away.

She saw the hint of a smile on his lips and she gave him a kiss on the head. She knew that beneath his snow-white, ice-cold skin, the blush on his cheeks was flushing. Going to Euronymous with a snowball, she lightly threw it at him. She saw how he smirked and yet looked at his work.

The snowman looked like Satan and the sticks that represented the horns made her laugh. ,,Really creative, my love," she said, leaning against him and feeling his kiss on her cheek. Watching her favourite people in winter, she knew it was working. That she would make this Christmas a black metal one. Including trashy Christmas love for her three boyfriends.

But the three of them knew when Faust started talking to the snowman that he had definitely had enough snow, alcohol and winter. Instead, Dead and Euronymous took the brown-haired man between them and their love opened the door for the three of them before heading towards the kitchen.

She decided to make four hot chocolates before she gathered marshmallows from the cupboard and sat down on the couch with her beloved.

They all snuggled together under several warm blankets as they flicked through the flickering TV and savoured their hot chocolate. The Black Metal winter was a complete success after all.

[declanscunt]

kenstewy fic recs?

oh god… so many… first of all anything and everything by ao3 authors leoandsnake (especially tsd i & tsd ii) and stewyonmolly (im particularly fond of lesbian kenstewy & their senses series)

MORE RECS UNDER CUT!!!

coefficient of variation by trill_gutterbug

summary:

"No, it's not—I just want to. It's not like, a thing, you know?"

"You want to lie here slobbering on my limp dick while I read forty-seven thrilling pages of Macroprudential Policy Regulation, but it's 'not a thing.'"

Kendall's face, already hot, pulsed feverish with a livid mix of embarrassment and arousal. He shut his eyes. "Something like that, yeah."

Telemachus’ Detachment by magnoliabud

summary:

There’s one thing Logan hasn’t used against Kendall yet: his relationship with Stewy. Kendall decides to jump in front of it.

Or: thirty years of something.

Set from the middle of Series 3, after the shareholder’s meeting.

tenderness of heart by strangeluvz

summary:

Stewy,

My assistant said that you told her if I wasn’t using my phone “to at least send a fucking letter or some shit” and I don’t know whether you were joking or whatever but here. You know that being online is bad shit for me man. So here’s this: I’m OK. Is that good enough? Do you need a stool sample or something too? Vial of my blood? Let me know

Kendall Roy

*

Kendall goes offline. Stewy sends him letters.

we’ll meet in even greater darkness later by moonrocks

summary:

Kendall isn’t exactly sure what Stewy’s doing here, if this is a booty call for old times’ sake or there’s something else they need to discuss. Maybe Stewy’s just doing him another solid. Since his dad died, it’s been hard to be stagnant in his apartment all alone. Between the studio in LA and the corporate retreat in Norway, Kendall has actively avoided it, but the election is coming up, and there’s nowhere to run now. He’s in the bullpen and the beast is rearing its ugly head.

(Set sometime between 4x04 and 4x08).

some little language by strangeluvz

summary:

Stewy says, “Dude, sometimes. I think I, like, love you so much, it physically hurts.”

Kendall replies, without thinking, “What the fuck.”

*

Post-canon: Kendall goes to Stewy. Stewy’s arms are always open.

Make Good by Springandastorm

summary:

"I don't think…" Kendall trails off. His shoulders hang heavy.

"You don't think, or you do?" Stewy asks, the usual smooth scale of his voice a little softer, like he's talking Kendall off a ledge somewhere.

"I think I'm pretty fucking hollow."

"Yeah. My voice echoes when I talk to you." Stewy agrees, leaning a little closer and knocking his shoulder into his. "That's okay."

a current under sea / picked his bones in whispers by ingwertee

summary:

God, he’s been picking up the pieces for a mopey, strung out, kicked puppy version of Kendall for over a year now. Kendall’s sudden surge of confidence, however unjustified, turns him on, reminds him of the Kendall he had started to think only existed in his daydreams.

a little of the collapsing space by ohtempora

summary:

“I’m not gonna say you should have told me,” Stewy says. “You absolutely should not have told me fucking anything."

what did you tell me, mary by harukatenoh

summary:

In which Kendall and Stewy attempt to answer: what have you got in your fucking hand?

i figure you with love by alaczije

summary:

Stewy manages to do a decent job of forgetting about Kendall, and him-and-Kendall, and all the neuroses contained therein, until the pap photos leak.

Luxe / Redux by orestesfasting

summary:

He’s not sure what he’s more angry about, is the thing. The betrayal or the subsequent lie.

Or—maybe that’s not quite true. He knows which one he’s more angry about, and he knows that rationally it should be the other one. But needless to say, if Kendall had told him the truth about why he did what he did, Stewy wouldn’t be heading to his place uninvited at 11PM on a Saturday night, brimming with righteous fury like the proverbial woman scorned.

[writinginaforrest]

Guts (feat. a Journey to Bolton Film Festival)

(7th Oct 2024)

This is more like a diary entry than an essay. More anecdotal than what I've written previously. That being said, this is my blog, I can do what I want. In the following I talk about my experiences with my Eating Disorder (ARFID) in considerable detail, if that will make you uncomfortable or distressed, I'd say skip this one. We can catch each other next time around, look after yourself.

I’ve never been to Bolton before. And yet, perhaps I give off the energy of someone who has settled there. It wasn’t twenty minutes after my friend and I stepped off the train that two people asked us for directions, and all we could do was respond in a good-faith bewilderment that we were in fact not native to the area. It did remind me remarkably of a town in Cornwall though. Everything shuttered in the middle of a sunday. Bare streets. A little grey. One of those out-of-the-way places the Government has forgotten about. Still, I couldn’t deny walking down the high street that there were some gorgeous buildings dotted around. 

I walked into the shopping centre, my friend and I got some pictures of the posters for the films showing, and then we eventually found our way into the cinema. There were perhaps seven other people in there by the time the reel started. While I always encourage people to go to the cinema, I can’t help but feel a slight joy when I have a screen all to myself. Maybe it’s selfish. Either way, it was just me, my friend, and these seven other people sitting dotted around this theatre all having a love (or in my friend’s case, being brought by someone who loves) film. 

We saw five shorts:

Pavane (Pauline Gay, 2023, France)

Guts (Margaux Susi, 2023, United States)

Grill (Jade Hærem Aksnes, 2023, Norway)

Heap (Kyle Marchen, 2023, Canada)

An Orange From Jaffa (Mohammed Almughanni, 2024, Occupied Palestinian Territory)

I can’t stress enough how consistently good these shorts were. Dark, Funny, but also thought provoking and cathartic. It made me happy to see a Palestinian film in the mix-up, a small act of defiance against the forces trying to make them lose hope, it looked gorgeous and was written amazingly. Grill was bleak and relatable, Pavane made me think about my mother, and Heap was my favourite out of the group, a real mind-fuck kind of film, and aesthetically brilliant. A sort of shortened Black Mirror. 

But Guts. That stirred up a lot of feelings for me. It was the reason I went to see that particular block of films. I’m a fan of StarKid and Smosh and also Watched all (at the time) Sixteen seasons of Grey’s anatomy in a matter of weeks. Angela Giarratana and Kate Burton?? Opposite Each other?? In a Movie playing in a theatre near me?? Sign Me Up. 

I knew it was about a Girl in recovery. Specifically from an Eating Disorder. I knew Angela’s character was a girl who invited a stranger to dinner because eating with other people is easier than eating alone. I’ve been there. It was only semi-recently that my own eating disorder was brought to my attention. I confided in my friend (the selfsame who came with me to this screening) with a self deprecating chuckle that I’d been eating little other than a couple of slices of toast a day for Three or so weeks. Food has always (and continues to be) a source of anxiety for me. Just as one might be scared of what would happen if they put their hand on the stove (you stand there and imagine the searing pain, the blisters, the burns, it inevitably puts you off the action) I was scared of eating. I was scared of putting food in my body. I was scared of feeling the food in my mouth. Of chewing it. Of actually doing the act. The thought of eating made me feel sick. Fear would wrap an iron grip around my stomach to the point where I’d turn to my trusty loaf of bread and salted butter to get the job done. My friend pointed out with a face twisted with concern that eating that way isn’t normal. Being scared of food isn’t normal. I recounted that it had been this way for as long as I could remember and she informed me that it sounded like I had ARFID. 

Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. I won’t spout the facts at you but it’s pretty much what it says on the tin. Being aware of it has helped me in a way. But it’s so incredibly present. The other day I simply could not decide what I wanted to eat. I ran through the options in my head and the thought of consuming those things filled me with the familiar dread. There it was again. Instead of deciding what to eat, I let the wave of dread take me and I lay in my bed for an hour and a half, on top of the covers and staring at the ceiling. I had to self regulate. I had to calm down. It had been a good day, and then everything fell apart. 

Guts said so adequately what I had been struggling to verbalise. Hearing Angela speak the things that I needed to remind myself of (Jan Rosenberg’s writing perhaps is the direction I should be tipping my hat to in this regard) made my heart feel a certain way. 

And Jesus Christ that’s why I love movies.