#Nope we'd all loose

[helloalycia]

the Clarks [three] // alicia clark

summary: now that Nick has finally returned from rehab, you both have to start considering what happens following graduation.

warning/s: mentions of relapsing, drugs and alcoholism.

author's note: it’s a bit late again, my bad! but here’s part 3, hope you like it 🥰

one / two / four / five / masterlist / wattpad

18 years old...

Time had flown so quickly since Nick returned home and, before I knew it, we were counting down the days until graduation. There was only a week left before we'd both be walking onstage to collect our diplomas – something we were both surprised to achieve, but nonetheless grateful.

We were laying on his roof the evening before our last week in school, staring up at the stars and chatting about anything and everything. It was one of those moments you didn't want to end because you were at peace and nothing could change that.

"Are you gonna leave if I pull out some weed?" he asked suddenly, ruining the moment.

I groaned quietly. "Nick..."

He laughed quietly, already pulling out a joint and lighting it. "It's only weed, it won't kill me."

I gave him a disapproving look. He was supposed to be clean, but he'd been using weed on and off for the past few weeks. It was better than much worse drugs out there, but it still worried me in case he got addicted again.

He breathed in before sighing with relief as he got more comfortable, moving one arm behind his head to use as a pillow.

"What do you think you're gonna do after school's finished?" I asked him once it fell quiet again.

"Dunno," he said honestly.

"Haven't you applied for any colleges?"

He snickered, as if I'd said something amusing. "Nope. Mum's been on my back about it, but I don't know if I want that right now. Why force it?"

I hummed in acknowledgement, admiring the few stars dotted in the sky. "You've been through a lot this past year. Maybe you should use this time to focus on yourself for a while."

He put his joint to his lips once more before handing it over to me. "Maybe. What about you?"

I quirked a brow, looking between me and the joint. He tried not to laugh as he waved it in the air.

"C'mon, it won't kill you," he teased.

I sighed, figuring it would be okay to let loose just this once. Accepting the joint, I took a smoke and pulled a face at the taste. I'd had weed before, but only a little, and aside from the momentary high it gave me, I wasn't a huge fan.

"I don't know either," I finally answered his question. "Not properly anyway."

He laughed as he nudged me. "Yeah you do. C'mon. Tell me."

I shrugged. "I'll be working full time at the diner, hopefully only for the year. They said they'd take me on. I'm saving to go to college."

"How wise," he joked, making me smile and roll my eyes.

I smoked some more, letting myself fall into nothing as I embraced the silence, and then Nick and I both turned to the left when we heard a noise on the roof.

"Gee, thanks for the invite." It was Alicia.

Nick groaned lightheartedly. "Go away. I'm trying to hang out with my friend and you're ruining it."

I slapped his arm playfully. "Shut up, Nick. She can join us."

"I was going to anyway," Alicia said before laying down beside me.

Nick grumbled to himself as I chuckled, then I passed her the joint. She gladly accepted, smoking it, before glancing over at me.

"So, what were you talking about?" she asked.

"What Y/N's gonna do after graduation," Nick filled her in.

She hummed, looking back to the sky. "Working, right?"

"Uh-huh," I confirmed.

"If only we could all get straight A's like you, Leashy," Nick teased.

"If you tried, you could, idiot," she retorted, making me chuckle as he scoffed.

The three of us stayed up there for a little while longer, talking nonsense, getting semi-high and preparing ourselves for the last week of school tomorrow. By the time the sky started spinning above me, I knew it was probably time to pack it in for the evening, but before I could say anything, Alicia spoke up from beside me.

"You'll still be around, right?" she asked. "Afterwards?"

It took me a few seconds longer than usual to realise she was talking about after I graduate, and I looked over at her, nodding.

"Of course," I said. "Where else would I go?"

She smiled softly, eyes dilated and half-lidded at the same time, and just like me, she was slightly out of it. It didn't help that I couldn't seem to look away from her, and I wasn't sure if the moment was abnormally long or if I was too high to make sense of it, but I couldn't stop thinking about how pretty she looked. About how much I wanted to kiss her right now. About how I was certain I'd stay by her side as long as I could because she meant so much to me, more than I'd ever let on.

When I found my thoughts drifting, I looked up at the sky again and blinked, suddenly coming out of my weed-induced daze. That was weird, thinking of Alicia like that. She was my best friend's little sister and she thought of me as family. I was being weird. Oh, God.

Massaging my head briefly, I began to sit up. This is why I wasn't a weed person, especially not whilst laying next to the girl I had major feelings for.

"You okay?" Alicia asked, and Nick nudged me with his foot, his way of checking in.

"Yeah, just tired," I half-lied, because it was kind of true. They didn't need to know the rest. "I'm gonna call it a night."

"We all should," Alicia agreed. "Early start tomorrow."

I hummed in agreement, and avoided looking at Alicia for the rest of the evening.

Graduation day finally arrived, and though my mum didn't care enough to see me collect my diploma, I still had the Clarks standing in my corner, making it worthwhile.

The last thing I expected was for Madison and Alicia to throw Nick and I a joint celebratory party at their house after the ceremony. It was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me – the other nice things also being from them, funnily enough – and I definitely cried. Nick appreciated it too, but he was never a fan of these sorts of things. Either way, I was grateful enough for the both us.

Madison had invited some of the neighbours and Alicia had invited some of her friends to hang out with. It was a small affair, but I didn't have anyone special to me other than them anyway, so I loved it nonetheless.

It was at this party where I finally met Alicia's boyfriend, Matt. He was nice enough when she introduced him and he seemed to treat her the way she deserved. Truthfully, there wasn't a single fault. And yet, I still didn't like him. I knew why, but that didn't matter. My feelings didn't. So, I played nice and avoided them like the plague, as one does.

After conversing with everyone, I took a breather in the corner of the garden where some food was laid out. Nick found me there, revealing that he was heading off.

"So soon?" I asked with confusion "This party is mainly for you, Nick. You can't just leave."

He waved a dismissive hand. "No one will care. Besides, you'll still be here. I'm gonna go hang out with Gloria."

Gloria was his friend from rehab, and though she seemed lovely, the two of them didn't seem to bring out the best in one another. Still, it was clear she was more than a friend to him, so I couldn't comment.

"Why don't you invite her here?" I suggested, before popping some fruit in my mouth. "Everyone seems to be bringing their partners."

He chuckled, giving me a look. "Firstly, Gloria isn't my partner. Secondly, that technically leaves you out. Where's your partner, Y/N?"

"Non existent, arsehole."

"Hopefully not for long," he said between laughter, before hugging me. "See you later."

I sighed as I watched him leave. It was his day too, and if he wanted to celebrate with Gloria, who was I to stop him? My eyes drifted from his retreating figure to the other party guests mingling in the garden, and then they settled on Alicia and Matt, lingering without meaning to. She was giggling at something he said and it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

It was stupid to still like her after all this time, especially when she had a boyfriend, but I truly couldn't help it.

"How's my new graduate doing?" Madison suddenly appeared, earning my attention.

I returned her smile and straightened up. "I'm good, Madison. Thank you again for doing all this. It's wonderful."

"You gotta stop thanking me," she said with amusement, before standing beside me with her drink and looking out at everyone. I wondered what she wanted, but before I could ask, she said, "I got you a little something."

She pulled out an envelope from behind her back and held it out to me.

"Oh, Madison, you really didn't have to. This party is more than enough," I said, attempting to decline, but she shook it for emphasis.

"Stop it, Y/N, just take it."

It didn't feel right to, but it was also rude to decline her sweet gesture, so I reluctantly accepted the envelope and opened it. My jaw immediately dropped when I pulled out a cheque for five thousand dollars, addressed to me.

"It should cover most of your time at community college, right?" she asked innocently, like she didn't know.

"Madison, I..." Five thousand dollars? That was more than I'd saved in the past three years! "I could never take this. I– What the hell?"

"It's yours now," she assured me. "A gift."

I glanced at her, seeing her kindness reflected in her eyes, the same one she offered to me ever since I moved in next door. But this was too much. I couldn't accept it.

Ignoring her, I put the cheque back in the envelope and tried to give it back to her, but she refused, hiding her hands in her pockets.

"Madison–"

"No," she said sternly. "You're like a daughter to me, Y/N. I see a lot of myself in you and I care about like I do my own kids."

I pressed my lips together, unsure how to respond. She never spoke how she felt, so this was a rarity.

"Nick, he... he's lost," she continued, smiling at me dryly. "He doesn't wanna go to college apparently. I'm hoping that'll change, but..." She clicked her tongue. "Alicia is already set. It's always been smooth sailing for her. So, that only leaves you. And I know that your mum, she... well, I don't expect her to have saved for you, and I know you've been saving for yourself, but it'll take too long and I don't want you to miss out. So, I'm giving this to you and I want you to enrol now. For this year. It's not too late."

Tears were making their way to my eyes as I looked at her. "Madison."

"Please," she said gently.

Nobody had ever cared this much for me before, nobody except her. I'd always known she considered me family, but there was playing family and there was actually being family. And nobody just handed somebody five grand unless they meant it. And Madison, especially, wouldn't do something like this unless she meant it.

My mum, my dad... they never cared. Not truly. And though Nick and Alicia would both argue that their mother had no emotions, I'd always think the opposite. This woman stood before me was the most sensitive person I knew.

Unable to answer with words, I nodded slowly before pulling her in for a hug so tight that I was certain I couldn't let go. She rubbed my back comfortingly before we both pulled away and I looked down at the envelope once more.

"I'm gonna pay you back," I promised, to which she instantly shook her head.

"No way. It's not a loan, Y/N, it's a gift."

I breathed out slowly, laughing to disguise from my embarrassment at crying with happiness. She may have gifted it to me, but I knew I'd pay her back one day anyway. For everything.

"I'm so so proud of you, sweetie," she said, resting a hand on my shoulder and making me look at her again. "You're gonna do amazing things one day and I can't wait."

More tears rolled down my cheeks and I felt an overwhelming happiness flood through me. I wasn't sure what I'd done to deserve this, but I was glad for it.

"Y/N, hon, can you go get Matt and Alicia? Dinner's ready," Madison called to me in the living room.

I glanced back at her from the couch. "Sure thing."

I would have much preferred not to, but I also knew I needed to get over myself about this whole Alicia thing, so I forced myself off the couch and headed upstairs to Alicia's room. Her door was almost closed, slightly ajar as per Madison's rule whenever Matt visited. I was about to enter, but I paused when I heard them talking in quiet voices.

"I just can't wait to leave already," Alicia was saying, which is what earned my attention because she sounded a little fed up. "Get as far away from them as I can."

"Not too far, I hope," Matt joked.

"Not too far, of course," Alicia agreed, before they both sighed in unison, and I cringed, knowing they'd probably just kissed.

I was going to stop lurking and just walk in, but I couldn't help but overhear as she continued. And I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but I had an instinct to just listen.

"I'm just tired," Alicia continued. "Looking after Nick, being mum's second priority, dealing with Travis..."

Travis was Madison's boyfriend, a recent part of the Clarks lives, and a better one, in my opinion, but of course Nick and Alicia didn't see it that way because their father's death was still fresh for them. Travis was a teacher at school, which is how Madison and him had met, so Alicia probably saw him more often than she wanted to.

"It's just easier to look after myself," Alicia finished. "I basically have been anyway."

"And what about Y/N?" Matt asked curiously.

"What about her?"

"You wanna get away from her too?"

I held my breath as I awaited her response, the second of silence killing me.

"Of course not," she said matter-of-factly, which had me relieved for a moment before she unfortunately continued, "but she won't leave here. And I can't hang around."

Definitely not expecting that, I frowned and stepped back instinctively, but I must have made a sound as Alicia called out loudly.

"Is someone there?"

Flushing with embarrassment, I cleared my throat and pushed the door open, poking my head in, but I couldn't for the life of me meet any of their eyes. "Madison said dinner's ready."

"Oh, okay," she answered awkwardly.

"Matt, you can stay too," I added uncomfortably.

"Actually, I should head back," he answered, "but thanks for the offer."

I nodded and turned to leave, heading back downstairs and forcing myself to ignore everything I'd just heard. It wasn't my business anyway, and I shouldn't have been eavesdropping. It had just taken me by surprise is all, as Alicia had never expressed thoughts of leaving as strongly as she had just then.

When the Clarks and I sat together eating dinner, I felt Alicia's eyes burning holes into the side of my head, but I refused to meet her gaze. I still felt odd and I couldn't stop thinking about her words. Were her family that bad that she wanted to leave so quickly after graduation? Was I?

After dinner, once I'd helped Madison clear the table, I was on my way to get my jacket when Alicia suddenly pulled me to the side, out of sight from everyone else as we were alone in the living room.

"You heard me talking to Matt, didn't you?" she blurted out in a hushed voice.

I blinked, looking down at her hand which was still gripping my arm. She let go once she realised, and I played dumb.

"No, I didn't."

She narrowed her eyes, studying me carefully as if debating whether to push it. Finally, she rolled her eyes and turned to leave, but I couldn't seem to just let it go.

"Are you really just going to leave?" I asked calmly. "Go as far away as you can?"

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You don't get it."

"Then explain," I said with confusion. "Because it sounds like you're counting down the days until you get your diploma, then you're off."

She met my eyes, giving me a look. "It's not like that. But yes, I've been applying to colleges far from here."

I frowned, a little hurt that she'd never told me any of this before and that I'd found out the way I had. "Well, at least I know you'll get in, right? You're not dumb."

Her expression softened and she tried to touch me, but I backed up. "Y/N."

"You don't know how grateful you are, do you?" I said, a little sterner than I intended, but it was the only way I knew. "Your family. They're a little dysfunctional, sure, but they care. And the way you talk about them, like they're such a burden–"

"They are!" she snapped in a low voice, surprising me. "Nick is back on drugs, and who has to be there when he's coming back down? Me! I babysit him like he's the younger brother. And mum, she's always at his beck and call, but me? She couldn't care less!"

I scrunched my eyebrows together in shock. "Alicia, that's not true–"

"It is!" she exclaimed angrily. "You wouldn't know."

Her anger was contagious and I scoffed, shaking my head. "So, what? They're all a burden because they need you? Makes me wonder what you think of me."

"That's not fair," she said in a low voice.

"Isn't it? I won't leave here. Isn't that what you said?"

She opened her mouth, eyebrows raising with disbelief. "That's because it's true! You won't! This is your chance to get out, make a life away from this one, but you stay!"

"I won't, or I can't?" I answered, glaring at her with teary eyes. "In case you've forgotten, I have fucking nobody! No money, no family, nothing! I don't even have a freakin' car! Where the hell would I go? I'm only at fucking college because your mum felt sorry for me and gave me the money! So, of course I won't just leave. I can't!"

She'd never hinted she felt this way before and it was horrifying. Had I overstayed my welcome? I was technically an adult now, but I never thought... maybe I had pushed my luck. Either way, there was a way to tell me and this wasn't it. And now I felt humiliated, burning with anger and hurt and it was so much worse because it was coming from Alicia.

"Wait...," she murmured, eyes roaming my face as her expression softened and the reality of the conversation hit her. "Just wait. Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. I shouldn't have said that."

She attempted to touch my face, but I moved away and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"It doesn't matter," I said, tired. "Forget it. Just– forget it."

"No, just– Y/N, wait, please, I'm sorry–"

Walking past her, I grabbed my jacket and didn't bother to stay any longer or hear her out. Clearly, I wasn't wanted.

The next day, I was sat on campus eating lunch after class. It was supposed to be a well-needed moment of quiet in one of my favourite places – next to a park where some ducks always came out near the water and made for a lovely sight. I wasn't able to focus in class after everything that went on last night, so I thought a lunch alone in my favourite spot would help, but it was just my luck that I couldn't even have that.

A familiar figure began to approach the picnic bench I was sat on, not even giving me chance to open my sandwich.

"Hey," Alicia said when she stopped before the bench, looking nervous.

I sighed, dropping my sandwich. "How did you find me?"

She waved her phone in the air. "Find My iPhone."

I was seriously regretted enabling that function, but we'd all agreed to do so after we couldn't find Nick that one time when he went on a night out. Now, I just wanted to be alone.

"I want to apologise and I couldn't wait any longer," she said softly.

"Forgive and forget," I said dismissively, picking up my sandwich again. "You can go now."

"No," she said stubbornly, before taking a seat opposite me. "Y/N, I'm so fucking sorry. I never meant to say what I did. I didn't mean it like that at all. You were right. I have more than most and I took advantage of it. I guess I just wanted to start fresh."

"Yeah, without everyone," I reminded her, looking between her eyes. "Without your family. Without–"

"Not without you," she stated with an apologetic look. "Never without you."

I wanted to believe her – she'd never lied to me before, but after everything she'd said... there had to be some truth to it.

"I applied for colleges here too," she shared, resting her hand on mine on the table. "I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing, but I'm not trying to run away. You're all my family. I love you."

I swallowed hard, looking down. "Maybe I don't get it. Not fully. But I just thought–" I paused, not even sure what I was trying to say. "I don't know."

She squeezed my hand gently, earning my attention. "The best thing that could have happened to me is us taking you in as one of our own. The last thing I wanted was to make you feel any less."

I sighed, hating how much I cared about what she thought of me. About what all of the Clarks did. But they were all I had.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated. "I never meant to upset you and I've been kicking myself since I said what I did."

I nodded slightly, resting my other hand on hers in reciprocation. "It's okay. I get it. Your situation is tough and you had to grow up a lot faster because of Nick... I've tried to help ease that burden for you, but Nick can get out of control sometimes, I know."

"I appreciate it," she said, but I wasn't looking for acknowledgement, I just wanted her to be okay.

"I'm sorry, too," I told her. "The whole making your problems seem smaller thing wasn't cool."

"Thank you," she said with a nod of acceptance.

"Wherever you choose to go to college, I'll still be here for you," I promised her. "Whether it's Timbuktu or around the corner."

She cracked a small smile, bringing a light to her eyes that I'd missed. "I know."

"Ideally not Timbuktu though," I added lightheartedly. "Flights would be a little pricey."

A quiet chuckle flew from her lips as she nodded. "Noted." Her smile reminded as she met my eyes hopefully. "I have a free period. Wanna eat lunch together?"

I returned her smile. "I'd like that."

19 years old...

Nick's MIA. Is he with you?

I read Madison's message with furrowed brows, both confused and worried for my best friend. It was the third time this month he'd gone rogue, worrying his whole family.

Attempting to call Madison, I cursed when she wouldn't pick up then dropped her a text to let her know he wasn't but that I'd update her if anything changed. Then, when I finally finished my morning classes, I gave Alicia a call as I waited for the bus.

"Y/N, what's up?" she answered straight away.

"Your mum just said Nick's missing again," I said, but before I could finish, Alicia was already speaking.

"He's been found," she assured me, though she sounded understandably pissed off. "They brought him into the hospital this morning. Idiot got hit by a car. No surprises what he was up to."

I chewed on my lower lip, worried. "Is he okay?"

I could imagine her eye roll as she said, "Considering he didn't get arrested, I'd say he was great." She paused, then her frustration left her tone as she said, "I've got class, Y/N. Can we talk later?"

"Of course," I said, feeling bad for her because this sort of thing had been happening a lot more than usual lately. "Sorry. See you later, Leashy."

"See you later."

I wanted to check on Nick, but he was in hospital overnight and when Madison offered to let me join her, Alicia and Travis to visit him in the morning, I couldn't afford to miss class. I almost did, but Madison assured me it was okay and he'd be fine, so I promised I'd visit later that afternoon. Only, when I tried to arrange it with Madison, they revealed he'd escaped the hospital without telling anyone.

Naturally, I was worried out of my mind, but Madison and Travis promised they were searching for him, so I shouldn't worry about it. Easier said than done, of course.

That same day, after class, I tried ringing Madison to see if there were any updates about Nick's whereabouts, but there was no answer.

By the time I'd stopped by to grab some lunch and headed home, I went straight for the Clarks house to check in. I was surprised to find Madison at home.

"Y/N, you're here," Madison said when she answered the door, immediately pulling me in for a hug. "I was just about to call."

Confused, I returned the hug. "Er, yeah... I just wanted to see if there was any news with Nick."

At this, she pulled me inside the house and that's when I saw the idiot himself stood in the living room. Relieved at the sight of him, but also concerned because of some bruises covering his face, I pulled him in for a hug.

"You fucking idiot," I muttered.

He hugged me tight, about to say something, but Madison spoke up instead.

"Alicia's calling... Y/N, can you just– can you watch him for a sec?"

"Sure," I said, still confused with why she was panicked. "Everything okay?"

It wasn't hard to miss the deadly stare she shot her son, who looked like he had a million and one things to say.

"What's wrong?" I asked him when I saw his ghastly expression and inability to stand still.

He simply shook his head, saying nothing, but he looked anxious. Madison left two of us alone, heading into the kitchen.

"You can be such an idiot sometimes," I scolded him once she was gone. "Using again? Getting hit by a car? Are you insane, Nick?"

He wasn't listening to a word I was saying as he took a seat on the couch, knees bouncing up and down with impatience. I rolled my eyes, knowing how this would go since he hadn't listened to me for a long time now.

"...no, Alicia, don't touch him!" Madison was saying, on a phone call but loud enough for us to hear.

She returned not long later, looking stressed out and as anxious as Nick did. Was I missing something?

"What's up? Is everything okay?" I asked her supportively. "Is Alicia okay?"

She brushed her hair from her eyes. "She's with Matt. He's sick."

"Yeah, a load of people were off sick today in class," I realised, before shrugging. "Maybe there's a bug going around."

Madison wasn't satisfied with that answer though, as she went to grab her car keys. "I'm gonna pick her up. I don't want her getting sick, too."

"I can get her her if you want," I offered, but she shook her head and glanced at Nick, who was sweating profusely.

"No. You stay with Nick. I won't be long."

Not really getting much of a choice, I nodded and watched her leave. Nick didn't reveal much, even when Madison left, but he seemed troubled by something and no amount of coaxing from me would help. He was suffering from withdrawals, just over twenty-four hours passing since he'd taken anything, and the symptoms were making themselves known.

After what felt like forever, Madison returned with an irritated Alicia in tow. Though, as soon as she saw me with Nick, her irritation disappeared.

"He's not doing too well, Madison," I told the blonde, kneeling beside a shivering Nick.

"I'm gonna get him his prescription," Madison assured me, before looking between Alicia and I. "You girls look after him. Travis will be here soon with Liza and Chris, so keep an eye out."

Alicia and I exchanged confused looks. Why was Travis bringing his ex-wife and son back here? And what was Madison so worried about, apart from Nick?

"You're gonna make me stay here and look after this idiot when Matt needs my help?" Alicia asked her mum.

"Alicia, don't argue this," Madison said knowingly. "Stay put, okay?"

She didn't wait for a response as the door slammed behind her when she left. I sighed, using a damp cloth to cool Nick's forehead. Meanwhile, Alicia threw her backpack on the floor before looking to me.

"Can you watch him? I wanna check on Matt," she said.

"I–"

"No," Nick groaned, pushing me away as he struggled to sit up. "Mum said you have to stay."

Alicia rolled her eyes. "You've got Y/N."

"Is he okay?" I asked her, noticing her worry behind her mean girl facade.

"He's sick," she said with a frown. "Didn't show for our date in the park and that's why I went to check on him. His parents are out of town, Y/N, I can't just leave him."

The last thing I wanted to do was go against Madison's request, but I truly didn't see the harm in her checking on him.

"Okay, fine," I gave in with a nod. "Go. I'll watch Nick."

She smiled appreciatively before making her way to the door, but Nick didn't seem to like this as he forced himself to stand up.

"Alicia, no!" he shouted after her, making her roll her eyes. "You can't, Alicia, it's not safe!"

"Nick, sit down!" I shouted at him when he leaned against the couch for support. "Nick– Nick!"

I screamed his name when he fell to floor suddenly, convulsing, and Alicia was by my side in an instant, helping me help him.

Alicia and I sat on the two armchairs, exhausted and nervous as we watched Nick laying on the couch, sleeping. Madison still wasn't back with his meds and, considering we'd almost watched him choke to death on his own vomit, we were pretty impatient for her return.

"You okay?" I checked in with Alicia.

Her green eyes flickered from Nick to me. "No. You?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "You thinking about Matt?"

She nodded weakly.

"I'm sure he's fine," I tried to put her at ease. "Have you tried calling him? Maybe his parents are back."

"He won't answer," she said monotonously.

I frowned, unsure what else to recommend. Thankfully, keys were rattling at the front door and in walked Madison with Nick's meds.

"I've got it," Alicia said, grabbing the bag and attempting to wake up Nick.

"Y/N, have you checked on your mum?" Madison asked randomly.

I quirked a brow. "Er, no. Am I supposed to?"

She glanced out the window uneasily. "There's a lot going on out there. Just do it, hon."

Already knowing I'd regret it, I gave my mum a ring there and then, to which she picked up after a few rings.

"Mum? It's Y/N," I said, in case she happened to be too drunk to read her caller ID. And woo-hoo, guess who was right?

"Y/N?" she asked with confusion, before exclaiming with realisation, "Y/N! What do you want?"

Unsurprised at this point, I said, "Where are you? Are you coming home?"

She laughed, though it was hard to make out because of the sound a man talking nearby, giving me the creeps. "I'll be on my way soon. Don't wait up."

I rolled my eyes. "Right. See you later."

Once I hung up, I realised Madison was still waiting to hear an update.

"She's drunk," I told her the usual. "But she's gonna be back soon."

She nodded distractedly, before saying, "When she comes home, you need to check if she's sick. And if she is, you shouldn't touch her."

"Mum," Alicia said disapprovingly, before I could even think to speak. "Not now."

I shook my head with confusion, looking back to Madison. "What?"

"This sickness, it's spreading," she said with concern. "I don't want you getting sick, too. Just promise me you'll check, okay?"

Alicia scoffed, unimpressed at her mum's ignorance.

"I promise," I told her. "Besides, she'd have to actually make it home first..."

[yuesya]

What if Shiki was born in the heian era or centuries before jjk? Would her technique be something the gojo clan would want to resurface again? I like to think she’d beat Sukuna because I love the idea of him loosing against a Gojo twice.

How do you think she’d feel when she gets incarnated again? Would she fuck up Kenjaku’s plans out of spite?

Hmm... so maybe something like... instead of Yorozu incarnating in Tsumiki, it's Shiki who incarnates in Tsumiki instead! Oh boy I already have a few ideas for how this might tie in with [REDACTED] but unfortunately we'd also be getting into [REDACTED][REDACTED]-

Anyways.

Shiki incarnates in Tsumiki! She kinda wakes up and goes like... 'nope.' Dead is dead, and she does not appreciate being rudely pulled back into the world like this. (Due to [REDACTED] her circumstances of incarnating are a little different from the others who've made proper binding vows with Kenjaku.)

At any rate, Tsumiki wakes up from her coma, and... surprisingly enough, aside from being able to see curses now, there's actually no other change at all for her. No sudden jump in cursed energy, no new cursed technique. Everyone is confused, but at least Tsumiki seems to be okay.

Sukuna probably gets a nasty surprise when he switches vessels over to Fushiguro Megumi and tries to kill Tsumiki, though.

[itspetrea]

I love how Finn woke up and just decided to destroy the Melvin and homophones arguments

Mike already knows Will's gay and that's why he's been acting weird- nope Finn confirmed for the millionth time that he doesn't know and is oblivious but the Duffers told him that there is pay-off from this 😉

It's not a love triangle - Well Finn certainly thinks it is. When asked about what dynamic he'd wanna see within the party excluding Will and El he asked romantically? Implying that he saw Will and El as love interests for Mike. Below works as well.

Byler isn't a viable option and Mlvns obviously endgame-When asked if if he would ship it if it's endgame he replies that he would if it happens and that'd we'd have to see or something along those lines. He's presenting it as an option. He could've easily shut it down at any time.

The painting isn't important and won't be brought up in s5- Finn basically said that s5 will tie up all the loose ends and that they will talk about it again.

Finn hates byler- Finn just doesn't ship anything on the show which is understandable and besides he has to remain neutral to avoid spoilers. He talked about it quite a bit quite happily especially when talking about mike's obliviousness even when the question wasn't even about it. He wouldn't bring it up unprompted if he didn't want to.

This panel was great for us. Thank you for your service Finn Wolfhard

[foone]

The Four Candles

I got kicked out of the SCP foundation after wasting over 80 million dollars to contain an artifact that I genuinely thought was incredibly dangerous. It was a set of candles in a gold frame, which never burnt down and could not be extinguished. Just weird, right?

(reposting of a formerly-twitter thread where I made up an SCP fanfic joke, under the readmore)

That's what we all thought and it was simply kept in a safety glass box in one of the many warehouses of weird things, until The First Event. January, 1981, it's being moved as part of a cleanup and someone notices its changed: one of the candles is out.

We'd previously tried sticking this thing in a vacuum, under water, smothering it in CO2 or in a pile of asbestos… Nothing. You can't snuff out these candles. And one just went off while no one is looking? That can't be good.

So obviously we have to upgrade this thing in severity. Out of the warehouse, into a separate containment area, and we do endless tests. Nope, we can't relight it. We tried.

But now we've got 24/7 redundant monitoring, cameras and guards, we've got water and fire and everything else on hand in case another event happens and we need to try to douse or relight it in a hurry.

And we wait. Endless beta tapes (and later, hard drives) are filled up with footage of these candles burning unchangingly. Guards get assigned to watch it and then retire a decade later, having never seen it change.

But 20 years into observation, a second candle just goes out, without any fuss. We hit every panic button we can find.

Endless studies are done. This thing was found in a ruin in North West England? Send every researcher we can spare there. Are there any legends or folklore or stories or ANYTHING about this?

Because it took 20 years to go from 3 to 2. We can do math. If this thing is counting down at a steady pace, we have only 40 years to get ready for the last candle to go out.

And we don't know what happens then.

Maybe nothing.

Or maybe there will be nothing left.

We work backwards; we only found the candles in the 70s, but if it goes down by a candle every two decades, then maybe it was created in the early 60s? We search for any clues about what might have happened in the 1960s in Manchester and Liverpool.

I'm on the ground with another field researcher when I get a message that we're all being recalled, immediately. No explanation.

I get back to the foundation site and all my researchers are being reassigned. My boss wants to talk to me. I check the candle monitoring site on my phone: we're still on two. I'm confused.

I enter my boss's office. It's uncharacteristically dark. She slides me a printout, on fan fold paper still with the little dot matrix tractor holes along the sides. It's an email.

Another researcher had a random hunch, and looked into the monitoring records, specifically as to when the second candle went out. November 29th, 2001. And the previous one was unknown, but happened sometime between December 1st, 1980 and mid-January 1981.

My boss asks if these dates look familiar to me, and if I listen to much music.

I think I may know. She tells me they were able to confirm the second event happened within 5 minutes of the time of death.

The candles are going back in the warehouse, and only a simple webcam will be used to monitor for the next event, just in case it proves us wrong.

And she gives me a lecture about how the purpose of the SCP Foundation is to secure, contain, and protect... From dangerous anomalous artifacts and people and places. Things that break all our scientific theories and could cause untold devastation if they get loose...

NOT A MAGIC CANDLE THAT TELLS YOU HOW MANY LIVING BEATLES THERE ARE IN THE WORLD AT THE MOMENT.

[silverliningtears]

BRING IN BOEING RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, FUCK!!

Honestly wat a ride!!

Mew

Man, Mew is one scary motherfucker!! He had Boston on his knees lmaoo, and that's after punching him and almost playing his sextape TO HIS FATHER!!

Book ate this ngl. Power moves left and right. The true MVP for 2 weeks straight. But after this high comes the crash, jumping into a relationship with ur best friend who is madly in love with you so soon after getting cheated on is not the win he seems to think it is.

Also, reputation era mew dresses like Ray lol.

Ray

Speaking of Ray, man you apologized to EVERYONE except SAND, the one u called a whore?the one who followed u and saved your life? Look at your life and your choices, boy...

He's been waiting for Mew to give him a chance for so long, he's obviously gonna take it lol. But feel like it's gonna hurt him in the long run.

Finally,we met Daddy Ray!!didn't think it would happen!! Thinking he's gonna play a bigger part in the coming eps, esp with Sand..

Raymew getting together now right now is gonna destroy them both. Mew has not dealt with any of the baggage yet. And he has this idea of "no more mister nice guy/boring virgin" so feel like Ray's addiction is gonna play a bigger part in their "relationship" now.Mew is gonna wanna "let loose" and we see the police in the preview.

Ray is basking in the glory of "getting" Mew, he's obviously gonna celebrate with drinks and drugs.

A shame cos, him denying he's an alcoholic to Sand, i thought we'd finally see some discussion on his dependence and abuse, but NOPE, NOT TODAY, why can't I have nice things?

In the preview, we see him interrupting Sand's hookup AGAIN. Hope we get some conflict in the Sandray dynamic. I want some pushback from Sand.

Sand

Babygirl I love you. You're so sexy, don't do this urself haha...

I was hoping that Ray's dad paid him to look after him and that's why he's immediately all buddy buddy with ray. Since the scene kinda cut out, I'm still holding out hope for it to be true.

I can kinda see him agreeing to it like, oh this guy already thinks im just a whore, why not get paid??

But he did say he doesn't see money in love and friendship. I remember First saying that Sand has to deal with his all his feelings alone in the series and it just makes me feel sad for him.BRING BOEING BACK ALREADY!!

in the future eps, I want to see Ray absolutely obsessed with Sand and being soo pathetic about him. Like foaming at the mouth over Sand talking to Boeing anyone.

On the fence about their endgame tho. I love firstkhao but this ain't healthy man, my heart is hurting. Do Not take the fall for Ray next week, pls!! I'm on my knees here kinda like boston

NICKY BOY

My other baby girl, imma give you like one more ep to cry over Boston, then u gotta move on, c'mon son!

Also, interesting how he didn't reveal it was Sand who gave the sex audio to Boston, but immediately told Mew about Gap, the weirdo. Like, That was Life Ruining Info™ and he just gave it away lol.

Boston

Well, well,well,how the turntables...

Neo is killing it, i don't know if anyone else would be able to pull off Boston so well.

Kitty seemingly lost his claws this week,but he's waiting for a chance to pounce alright. He's just licking his wounds for now. But, all of the mewkarma was so satisfying.

Top

Broooo, he's sobbing all alone in his bed, thinking about past dates. Honestly i cackled like a witch.

No more Mr.Top Tier then?

I expect more grovelling and begging from him, maybe then he'll become more interesting to me idk

[cloud-somersault]

Pat pat pat. I don't understand your need for hard magic systems at all, but I feel your pain. Pat pat pat

Well. Hm. I don't think my reasoning is coming across well, so I'll try to explain.

The thing with a hard magic system is that yes, there's clearly defined rules that can't be broken that the audience also knows about and can understand when things don't go well or when characters try and break the rules, like. It's nice to have those boundaries and restrictions so that, when something wild happens, we know why.

That feeling of stability and thought is nice.

However, a light magic system is also fine. things can be loose and a little more whimsical, sure! They sure can. But then we're relying on character building to do the hard work for us.

Example.

Wukong is so old and everything, he knows all these spells and techniques that no one else does. MK doesn't know. No one does. Now, I can believe that because it's established (not just in the show, but in general) that Wukong is super old and has been around for a while. Did he just perform a spell we've never seen him perform before? Yup. Does it ruin my immersion and frustrate me? Nope, because it's been established that Wukong's been around for awhile and has definitely picked up on things.

Another example.

MK is considerably younger and is being taught by Wukong. He's learning spells and magic as he goes. We don't see this as much as we'd like because the plot has to happen, but MK will suddenly get powers like cloud-somersaulting and whatever else because it "looks cool" or "he had enough determination to do it"

But MK doesn't have years of experience and the show hasn't shown me Wukong teaching MK how to cloud-somersault. So i'm left to assume that some lessons happened on the back end or that MK taught himself. And that's well and fine, but then we run into a problem: then MK can teach himself to do anything.

Now, if MK can teach himself to do anything, then, whenever the plot demands, MK can get a new power or whatever. MK can get whatever magical spell is needed in the moment to overcome the bad guy and save the day. That might not seem like a big deal, but it does several things that lead to issues.

It lowers the stakes considerably because MK can get out of any situation that he's in. We have no fear of him being killed or whatever. He can learn whatever power or magic is needed.

There is no emotional story beats of MK needing to learn a specific spell or work hard or try again to beat someone. All we're waiting on is for him to learn the right spell in the moment in order to get over this hurdle. there is no contention. there is no tension. it'll be fine.

I am all here for light magic systems subsisting off of whimsy and fun and good times. Sure! I'd be much more happy if the light magic system only applied to characters who have the experience and knowledge to back it up. That's the difference. And since that isn't being followed, then yeah, I want a hard magic system. I guess.

And it doesn't have to be this big thing! It can be bare bones like Avatar the Last Airbender. Simple rules. Small things. just something to provide structure. Because we, the audience, have been with MK since the beginning of his journey as the Monkie Kid. And I don't know when this dude learned how to cloud-somersault and that bothers

the fuck

outta me.

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Snippets, pt 8

I watched as the auxiliaries hunted for my mystery woman, and braced myself to deliver another lie when they couldn't find her. It turned out I didn't need to after all, because the thief pulled himself out of the vent and shot them both.

He had a bamboo dart blower, designed to be snuck in through the metal detectors. I fell flat as he shot a third dart at me. Hey, what the hell? I thought we'd had an agreement! The one bloody time I decided to respect someone's privacy was the time they turned on me. I swore I'd never make that mistake again, and grabbed his mind tightly.

He paused in mid attack and met my gaze with brilliant green eyes. The analysts had gotten one thing right- He was a spirit, and in the classic spirit of spirits, had a distinct childishness to his features. His clothes were loose, a dark shift and slacks, distinctive against his translucent skin. “Let go,” he said, or tried to. I'd overridden his body's free will and functionally turned him into a statue. 

“T-traitor,” Baker hissed, glaring at me. The auxiliaries nearest to me turned around, and I saw my life flash before my eyes. I felt the incredible rage rise in his body, but his consciousness was ebbing rapidly. Those darts were laced with neurotoxin, I realised. It gave me a brief burst of vindication to know the thief had used their own weapon against them.

That satisfaction soured as the first man raised his stunner. “Well, crap,” I said. I was surrounded and deeply outnumbered, and my teammates were either out cold or convinced I had turned. So I did what any sane woman would do. I ran.

Throwing up an illusion, I scrambled for the door. Around me, shots flew wildly as the confused auxiliaries discharged their stunners at random. Pausing at the door, I gathered my wits enough to release the spirit from my grip. Come on, I thought at him. Or would you rather these guys caught you?

He paused, then followed me, launching himself like a squirrel across the room. “Thank you,” he said, in a heavy accent. “I apol-”

“Save it for when we're out of here,” I told him, grabbing him by the wrist and yanking out into the evening light. He was light, and felt more like a gust of wind than a person. 

We ran out to the van and I paused at the door. “You wouldn't happen to know how to drive, would you?”

The spirit gave me a confused look. “My people do not use these vehicles,” he said. “It is all knobs and buttons to me.”

“Me too,” I said dejectedly. “Guess you wouldn't know anything about undoing the stupid anklet either, then?” I tried the door handle. Nope, it was locked.

“I do not trifle with tech-nol-og-ey,” he clarified. “However, I can do this-” He stuck his hand through the car door and opened it from the inside.

“That's a nice trick,” I said, offering an olive branch of camaraderie. Hopping in the driver seat, I gestured for him to settle down in the car next to me. “Come on, let's see if I can avoid dying from the damn auxiliaries or from crashing the car.”

The spirit nodded apprehensively. This scepticism only deepened as I pressed my foot to the pedal and we shot forward. I twisted the wheel hard, and we narrowly missed a tree, skidding onto the lawn.

“You are going to kill us,” the spirit snapped, eyes wide. Terror radiated off him like a chunk of steel in a desert. “I decide to be brave and take risks for once, and for what? To get killed by a stupid mind mage who cannot so much as pilot her own people's vehicle!”

“Right back at you, you stupid ball of ectoplasm,” I snarled. “I be kind and spare you, and what have I gotten in return? Trouble and sass. Give me one good reason not to boot you put the window right now.”

“You couldn't even open the door to this bedamnable thing. If I had not been there, you'd be dead,” he said. Regrettably, he had a point. 

“Look,” I said, subdued. “Let's start over, ‘kay? I'm Luna, and I'm a mind mage. Who are you?”

The spirit gave me a cautious glance, but sensed that I was genuine. “Kristavla Ko-clan, but you may call me Chris. I have heard that that is a common human name,” he said. “And I am a ghostwalker.”

[dragonmasterhiccup]

She let out a huff, though a shiver followed immediately after. “Fine, w-whatever.”

———

Danny was a little worried as to what Astrid would have to say about Cala being there. After all, when she left for the day, there wasn’t a cat in her hut. And when she returned? Now there was.

But she was still helpful with her bandages, being nothing but tender and gentle. And she did provide her another set of clothes, dry clothes. So… maybe she wasn’t mad…?

She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “You don’t have time for anything…” she stated, very obviously just being over dramatic.

“We didn’t need to do that, you were jus’ being a baby. I’ve been in colder water than that before.”

She rolled her eyes defiantly. “Nope, it’s fine, we don’t have to go, ‘cause y’know, you don’t have time for it. You only have time for being Chief and being with Zephyr.”

Her pout did not leave her face whatsoever as Hiccup left to go help Astrid.

———

Dinner was fine. Her mood soured even more as she noticed that he forgot about the venison. But it was whatever, she’d live.

That night, after everyone had went to bed, the young girl got an idea.

She could show Hiccup. She could show him that she was independent, that she could do things by herself. She was seven after all, she didn’t need him looming over her shoulder.

But… he’d never approve. No way. This was one of the things he’d made an ‘official rule.’

So… she’d just have to improvise.

And by improvise, she really just meant taking his leg.

If he couldn’t walk, he couldn’t stop her, right?

She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t terrified sneaking into Hiccup and Astrid’s room in the middle of the night. This room was typically off limits, without either of the two adults permission, that is.

Her breaths were coming out in short, quick bursts, but she still managed to remain quiet.

It was relatively easy to locate the Chiefs prosthetic, since he had to keep it within reach of himself before he went to sleep each night.

So, she quickly swiped it and scurried out of the room…

———

The next morning, she’d taken it upon herself to wake up before even Hiccup, hiding his leg outside, behind his hut.

The feeling of adrenaline still seemed to be running high, but she was able to keep herself contained enough to enact her full plan.

It was tricky, since she wasn’t all too good at reading and writing yet, but she was able to scribble out the words ‘Went to Valka’s’ along with her name on a loose piece of paper before quietly sneaking out.

Unbeknownst to her, after she had set the paper on the mantle of the fireplace, it had fallen down, accidentally entering the fire and burning in the flames.

She’d wandered around the village for a bit, since it was still early, but once it was light enough, she’d gone and knocked on Valka’s door, explaining lying that Hiccup had in fact walked her over here, he’d just dropped her off quickly because he had important stuff to do…

Astrid, naturally, was curious about the cat's sudden appearance, but she wasn't particularly bothered by it.

As she helped Hiccup with his bandages, he gave a quick explanation as to why the cat was there.

She had agreed that Cala can stay, since she made Danny so happy.

Hiccup, after arguing with Danny, ran a hand through his hair, letting out a frustrated sigh.

It seemed Danny has always been stubborn.

"You and I both know that's not true."

----------

As they settled in for the night, Hiccup let out a groan. "Oh, I forgot!"

Astrid turned to him. "Forgot what?"

"The venison..."

"Venison? Where'd you get that?"

"I traded some Changewing acid for it today, to surprise Danny. I promised her we'd have it for dinner today. With the cat, and the unexpected dip in the ocean, I forgot all about it!"

"We can always have it tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess... besides, she can't get more mad at me, right?"

Astrid raised a brow. "You are severely underestimating her, Hiccup. You know Danny's temper, this shouldn't surprise you."

"I'll just have to find a way to make things right tomorrow..."

Eventually, he fell asleep, but he didn't sleep well, tossing and turning most of the night.

-------------

Hiccup woke up as the sun rose, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he sat up.

Reaching down for his prosthetic, his eyes widened when where he knew he placed it was just...empty air.

"Psst, Astrid!"

"Hmmm?"

"Did you move my leg?"

"What?"

"Did you move my prosthetic?"

"What? No. Go back to sleep!"

Astrid was not a morning person. Getting up, he checked various places in the room, hopping from one side to the other.

No leg.

"That's weird..." At least he had backups.

After securing his back up leg on, he checked on Zephyr, who was still asleep, before going to check on Danny.

Knocking on the door to her room, he said, "Danny? You up yet?"

Peeking inside, he saw the bed empty, and no sign of Danny.

Did she go downstairs?

She wasn't there, either.

She was nowhere to be found in the hut.

Feeling panic start to rise, he opened the door, hoping to find her sitting on the porch.

Not there either.

"Astrid!"

-------------

"Where could she have gone?" Astrid held Zephyr as Hiccup paced.

"There's only two places she could've gone, but if anyone came across her, and recognized her...she could be anywhere..."

"Hiccup, calm down. What two places? We'll check there first."

"Uh...well, she could have gone to moms, or she could've gone to see Toothless..."

"Okay. You go to Toothless, if she's not there, fly over the island. She couldn't have gotten too far. I'll go to your mom's, see if she's there. Meet me there after finding Toothless, then we'll spread out if we haven't found her."

-----------

Valka was quite happy to find Danny at her door, though she was surprised Hiccup left without saying hello, that was very unlike him.

She welcomed the little girl with a hug, ushering her inside.

"Are you hungry, Danny? I was just about to make some breakfast."

-----------

Astrid, with Zephyr in her arms, made the trek to Valka's, thinking Danny had better be there.

[batz-surveys]

4.

If you could build a second house anywhere, where would it be? I don't even have a first house; I live in an apartment. But my dream house is in the middle of the countryside, where we'd have to drive to the nearest neighbor's house.

What are your favorite articles of clothing? I have a few pairs of Halloween pajamas that I always wear around the house, but I wish I could make a dress out of the material. They're so soft and cozy.

The last CD you bought or downloaded? I don't really buy CDs anymore, but I do buy records. The last record I bought was Medz by The Used. I have all their albums, except one, on vinyl.

What time do you generally wake up in the morning? On Monday, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, I wake up at 8am when my alarm goes off for work. I don't set an alarm for Wednesday and Friday because I go into work late those days, but my body wakes itself before nine in the morning. On the weekend, I don't sleep in any later than 9:30am.

What is your favorite kitchen appliance? My Keurig.

If you could play an instrument, what would it be? I really wish I could learn to play the drums, because that would mean I have rhythm, haha. But seriously, my husband's a drummer and he would always try to teach me when we lived in our old house. I just can't get it.

What is your Favorite color? Black.

Which of the following types of vehicles do you prefer, Sports Car, Motorcycle? I don't think that the question was completed because it said "Sports Car, Motorcy" haha, I just filled it in. I guess sports car out of those two.

Do you believe in the afterlife? Yes and no. Do I believe that people are in heaven and hell? Not really. But do I believe people die and haunt the Earth for some reasons? Yes.

Your Favorite children’s book? There were these books I used to read as a kid called Pinky and Rex. It was about a boy and a girl and the adventures they went on and whatnot. I can't remember anything they did, but I remember being a kid, and my dad taking us to the library and I would get so excited when one I hadn't read yet was on the shelf. Then as I got older, I loved Goosebumps.

What is your favorite season? Fall and winter.

If you have a tattoo, what is it? I have a unicorn tattoo and a tattoo of a phonograph on my leg.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Damn, just one? I'm going to pick two: One for myself and one that could help others. The first one would be the power to fly or teleport. The other one, would be the ability to heal others for what ails them both physically and mentally.

Can you juggle? Nope.

Name one person/people from your past you wish you could go back and talk to. James. We were friends from the time we were like, seven, and then I threw away our friendship because my abusive ex didn't like him because he didn't believe that we weren't fucking. Even if we never became friends after all this time, I at least want the opportunity to tell him that I'm sorry for ditching him for a guy that ended up SAing me and that I never stopped thinking about him and our crazy adventures. He was like a brother to me. I'll never forget him.

What is under your bed? On my side of the bed there's Rubbermaid tubs. One with my hair tools, one with linens, one with my t-shirts, and one with my shoes that aren't in boxes (Crocs, sandals, etc). On my husband's side of the bed there's a laundry basket with his loose shoes, this diorama that his Step-Dad built him, and a large footlocker with…some stuff in it. <.<;

What’s your favorite day? It's so typical, but Friday. I have my short shift days on Fridays, and I can stay up later since I'm off the next day.

Which do you prefer, sushi or hamburger? Hamburger but make it vegetarian.

Who’s the most likely to respond to this first? I only have 29 followers, and I don't know any of their names. Nobody really responded to these anyway back when I was more consistent, so I'm not expecting it now.

Who’s the least likely to respond? ^

Who did you receive this from? I copied this from lovemesomesurveys.

What is your favorite flower? Tulips.

How old do you Feel? I feel my age.

What is your favorite meal? Tacos! I love tacos and I could eat them at least once a week and never get tired of them. My husband's actually making some today for dinner while I'm at work.

Are Male or Female? Female.

When is your birthday? April Fools Day.

Describe your ideal weather? Cloudy, with a little wind, and the temperature no greater than 68F. I can't wait for Fall to actually feel like Fall because it's technically Fall now, but it's like 92F here.

What is your favorite Ice Cream? Mint chocolate chip.

What is your favorite breakfast? I love French toast. Sometimes I'm in the mood for like, savory foods like eggs and grits, but I have to make them. I'm very particular about how my eggs are cooked.

What would be your Dream Job? My dream job is no job, haha. But I guess being an author would be kind of neat. Or a pastry chef…although even though I love baking, I'm pretty critical of my desserts so I feel like pastry chef would definitely be more stressful.

What is your job now? I'm a preschool teacher.

Do you like your Job? Yeah, I love working with kids. I just don't want my own.

After you retire where would ideally like to live. Retire? Pfft. I'll probably work until I die. But if that was an actual option for a middle-class person like me, I'd love to live in the countryside, on a small farm maybe, and just write stories and plant vegetables.

Where did you meet your spouse or significant other? Well, technically we met in high school, but we weren't friends until after we met on Facebook back in 2010.

Bonus: something you’d like to do that you’ve never done before? Go to the mountains during snowy weather.

[coffeishowifunction]

I am aware that people probably dont care but I said I would so here it is you guys!

I went to a disco a bit over a week ago and I am going to walk you through the joys of it. So I think I got home at around 5 and we (the friend I was going with) decided we'd do our own thing food wise. I got dinner and then at around 6 she got to my place, now when I tell you that she can do the most breathtaking things with her makeup so she looked like a godess. We got into our lovely, lovely dresses (I have always been more into jeans but .....I'm also a very vain individual so seeing myself in a dress for the first time in months was exciting I wont lie)

And as controversial as it is I am a clothes, makeup, hair kinda gal so thats the order I worked in. Now my original plan was mascara and lipgloss (Ellie didnt like that) so I was sat down in a chair and she did eyeshadow and bronzer. Dont quote me but i looked pretty when she was done so i dont mind.

As I mentioned I am vainnnnnn! And I have no issue admitting that we (Ellie and I lol) looked gorgeous.

So we kinda just hung around for a bit and took a sinful amount of photos of ourselves lol (as I'm typing this I have noticed that it is 00:03 so happy Halloween everyone) and we left the house at like twenty past eight to arrive at nine.

I wont bore you with the specifics I think we all know discos are loud lol. But I'll just summarise.

Straight away we met four of my best friends who I havent seen in weeks and I had an AMAZING night (lots of dancing lots of singing). To be honest I lost the plot a bit. ALL my friends have videos of me dancing to Miley Cyrus like there wouldnt be a tomorrow lmao. But whats a high achieving eldest daughter going to do except where a crazy short dress and dance till well past midnight. Everyone deserves to let loose you guys even if its once in a blue moon.

NOW I will make myself very clear there was no funny business on my watch. Zero. Again I am too vain for my own good so I will say that....there was some offers "Sorry I'm with friends" they all got the same answer. I will hold your purse and root you on, I will help you fix your lipstick and hair. But no way will anyone do the same for me, nope. Sorry not sorry.

I have been asked if I'm afraid videos might resurface when I run for president. The saddest part is the fact that my answer is yes. Hell yes I am. He was joking but seriously, I dont WANT to be President but sometimes how obsessed I am with all things being right or winning scares me and careers have been ruined.

Anyhow. Just to wrap up we left at i think half twelve I couldnt hear or speak a word. My legs were killing me (dancing queen much) but shoutout to Ellie's mum. She somehow found us a place that was selling pizza and cookies at one in the morning. So I wrapped up the night on Ellies couch with a dozen cookies a Coke Zero and the Beckham documentary.

And it was nice to know that I can step out of my comfort zone if I ever want to lol.

Happy Halloween you guys.! Nightt.

[purplesaline]

Something I've found very useful is playing "Where's the line"

Ask them at what point the thing they believe is wrong is no longer wrong. Often with abortion the line is "when the mother's life is in immediate danger" or even with the most extremists "if the child has no chance of living and the mother's life is at risk"

Once they've found their line start asking them questions. "Well what about this situation?" "Okay what if this happened?"

Often they'll have a confident opinion on the new situation, and sometimes they'll be less certain and need a moment to process and come to a conclusion. More often than not that conclusion will still be in line with their original stance, but there will be occasional exceptions.

The next step, once you've got a handful of these exceptions, is to ask them "Okay so how do you legislate that so these exceptions aren't punished?"

And they'll come up with a solution and they'll be proud of themselves for being so clever, and then you, with the most reasonable attitude, start pointing out the loopholes. Especially their favourite "Well everyone will understand the intent of the law, they won't punish the people it isn't meant to". Nope, any law that can be misapplied will be misapplied. There will always be people trying to finding any excuse to punish someone they don't like and their favourite tool is legislation that was never intended to target those situations. When writing legislation you have to assume malice and you have to assume any intent not explicitly stated in black and white will be misunderstood.

It's the "define a fish without including anything that isn't a fish, or excluding anything that is" game

Now!! This is really important!! At some point they're going to get frustrated, very likely angry, and they're going to choose a hill to die on even if it's the worst possible hill they could have chosen.

You need to let them.

You need to say okay and smile and drop the topic.

Because what's happening is a wonderful thing. Their fight/flight response has been triggered.

See, our brains don't just interpret physical threats as a life or death situation, it also interprets threats to our deeply held beliefs as a life or death situation and when one or more of those beliefs is challenged in a way that makes a person question it, warning bells go off!! Now the thing is once a person enters this fight/flight state they're incapable of rational thought, all they can do is be defensive or be aggressive. Anything that continues to threaten that belief will be met with a fight response or a flight response and the more someone tries to attack that belief the harder they will cling to it, however irrationally.

But!! If you immediately step back and stop threatening that belief the fight/flight response is disarmed before they've had a chance to fortify the belief against further attack. It's a feint! And the what will happen now is that belief is gonna be acting like a loose tooth, and they're not gonna be able to resist wiggling it. They'll start asking themselves the same sort of questions you were asking them, and it'll wiggle even more so they'll ask more questions and keep asking questions until what was once a firmly held belief becomes perilously close to falling out completely. It may never actually fall out, but they'll get used to it being loose and they'll stop reacting to any challenge of that belief as if it's a life or death threat.

Unfortunately if it's threatened before they're at that point it may cause them to reinforce it against further threats rather than worry at it the way we'd hoped. But don't fret! You've still created a chink in the armour that can one day be exploited to get past their defenses.

Okay that got long, sorry, but I do swear by this method. I've used it many times to great success. It takes a long time and a lot of patience, but it's worth it.

contemplates writing a detailed guide to deradicalizing republican evangelicals for the billionth time

[thedaveandkimmershow]

At one point early last month, Kimmer was scheduled to fly down to California on Wednesday the 31st. No problem, I thought. We'll pretty much be done with the moving by then.

At one point midway through last month, Kimmer moved her flight to the middle of June.

Thank. God.

Early in the month, hand to God, I didn't think it would be that big a deal. I thought for sure we'd be handled by Tuesday the 30th or handled enough so I could tie up loose ends like handing over keys on Wednesday the 31st.

Haha. NOPE.

Kimmer woulda heard me doing my best riff on that painting The Scream all.

The way.

Down.

In L.A..

Not even joking.

The work we had to do was more than we expected, larger than any previous move we've undertaken, for reasons beyond our understanding. The last week was some weird variation on a domestic triathlon in which no awards are handed out for achievement. The days were long. The sleep, the rest, not long enough.

And yes. We went down to the wire.

The next day, Thursday, was fortunately the next month. June. The first. And on June the first we had no other obligations than to reimagine our home. Especially since we no longer had to bear the logistics of both ends of the move. Definitely we no longer have a deadline.

So.

That first day of June we spent working on our spaces. Okay, to be perfectly honest, Kimmer always works on everything all at once. Which pretty much left me to work on the new space of my edit suite. That and making pizza for lunch. And driving out to Kenmore with Kimmer to pick up a 7' antique wood cabinet she scored for free on OfferUp and put to immediate use as a display case for some of the art we crafted for each other on the occasions of birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays over the years alllllll the way back to the beginning of Us.

Still...

It was a lazy, purposeful, and measured day. On my end, the main objective was to resurrect my editing workstation. Don't know how else to put it when you unplug and disassemble all the components.

It's dead.

And the reason I think that is there's always an anxiety that the equipment won't ever work again.

Now, I know broadcast engineers who've disassembled, moved, and reassembled full blown edit suites with tape decks, sound mixers, several levels of monitoring, all manner of control surfaces, synchronization between the component parts, and just miles of wires that go everywhere.

Now that's a big deal.

My situation is a very little deal with orders of magnitudes less of moving parts. Soon enough, then, my workstation's up and running with only a touch of troubleshooting required.

As with our house, then, there's reimagining happening in this space. A conscious effort to determine the best configuration of this room and everything in it. There's a lot that can go in here... the question is what should go in here. What am I gonna use? What am I gonna actually need? What's gonna inspire me during creative sessions where I'm reaching outside the box?

Therefore.

Therefore I'm subjecting everything, everything, to such scrutiny. Time, after all, has a way of revealing what enables our best work...

And what makes no difference at all.

Yeah.

So June 1.

We're done moving...

Now we're reimagining.

☺️

[roxtron]

okay, I wanna try to get my points across as well as I can, but ultimately this is just gonna be a ramble directly from my thoughts so don't expect it to be super formatted/structured I guess. cut in case people don't want to read a paragraph of text because this will inevitably get pretty long lol

Okay, so, I don't really know how to go about this, but as a tldr here, I don't think there's a way for the ending of this series to truly be a satisfying ending if it ends up being this short. I think even if the finale is good, the series spent so much time building up these plot points that I ultimately don't believe could be tied up in a satisfying way during one single episode. Like, okay. I can't speak for other people, I can only speak for my own experience and one other person I rambled with about this, but I feel like all the episodes we have up until this point feel like they were building up to the beginning of a great show, not building up to the end of it. Everything we have so far has (mostly) been plot episode after plot episode leading us directly to this finale, that it honestly feels like we got the build up to a season finale, not a series finale.

Regardless of the writers intentions, in my own experience I feel like a lot of the writing indicated the beginning of something. A lot of character arcs and development were either happening over one conversation in one episode, or as one-liner throwaway jokes.. (Honestly, think about it off the top of your head here, a lot of N's issues, especially with self-confidence and the way other people feel about and treat him- Was that really conveyed to us in a serious way at any point leading up to this? Because from my memory it was mostly one-liner throwaway jokes, mostly only from episode one too! It felt like his development was getting sort of sidelined to give more spotlight to Uzi, which I was initially fine with, because I assumed we'd have time to develop him during later episodes! And now we only have one episode left and I feel like he's really just.. had a few moments here and there.) Okay, distracted ramble aside, my point is there's a lot of loose ends I feel like won't have enough time to be tied up in a satisfying way. Did V survive? And if not then, honestly why? If J can be rebuilt after having her body destroyed, I don't see why V couldn't, especially when the only people that were capturing their cores are now dead, and they were worker drones, so it doesn't seem like they'll be coming back anytime soon. Even then her transition felt very abrupt as well.. like, she kind of hated Uzi for the majority of the series, and her switch to trusting her in that episode felt very sudden, it didn't feel very built up at all considering she's spent pretty much every episode up until now being afraid of her and thinking she needs to be destroyed, and now she just.. trusts the person she thinks (and ended up being right to predict) Cyn has control over. I assumed if V came back they'd at least get to discuss it in future episodes or something but, ah, nope, one episode left to resolve that plot point, if they even decide to bring it up at all. I was intending to have that paragraph go over more loose ends they'd need to tie up but apparently I had a lot to say about V. Anyways.. There's definitely a lot of plot points to be wrapped up, mainly in the cliffhanger with J and the other worker drones, for SO many reasons. Agh. The worker drones haven't had that much screentime to develop them, and again, I thought it'd be cool to see these background characters get their time to shine and expand the cast now that the story is expanding to such high stakes! but ah, no, only one episode to do that, so they'll ultimately probably get, what, a couple minutes of screentime? 5-10 tops? It's gonna be very hard for them to break out of their stereotypical molds and feel like actual fleshed out characters when there's so little time left, and it's unlikely much of it will even be spent on them. And fucking Khan.

We can all objectively agree he's a pretty bad neglectful father right? Personally I don't care if "he's trying," he seems to completely ignore Uzi's emotional state until it becomes a problem, and again, let's not forget the pilot where he LEFT HER TO DIE. I feel like you can't even take the route of "oh he was worried about his safety" because like.. yeah. he was worried about himself, and didn't care what happened to her. All he had to do was listen to her and take the gun, but he didn't even want to try. For all Uzi's on-the-nose rambling about it, she's right. I don't know why the show is acting like he's just a funny side character now. And again, now that we only have ONE EPISODE LEFT I don't believe any finale, no matter how well written, is really going to be able to successfully redeem him, possibly through him risking his life with one action in the finale, completely ignoring Uzi's entire childhood, as if him doing one good thing now would make up for what he's done in the past. Personally it feels almost inevitable that an ending like that would come across as a last-minute redemption. It needs buildup, and we didn't get much of that. Especially considering the only other time he tried to help her back in the prom episode- literally could've led to her death. He hasn't really contributed to the plot or characters in a positive way at all.. Maybe I'm more specifically sensitive to this issue than other people would be, but personally I find last-minute redemptions (not even arcs, just, redemptions.) for shitty parent characters to be really annoying. As if one moment could make up for all the years worth of harm they've done leading up to this.

Anyway. it's not just that. those are the biggest issues that come to mind, but honestly? I think the whole N x Uzi ship is made a lot worse by this being the finale? I never liked it to begin with, I'm not going to say it was objectively bad or anything, but personally I thought their dynamic as friends was far more interesting, and shipping them just felt like a 'boy protagonist and girl protagonist need to get together' thing.. heteronormativity, woo... I feel like it's made their characters less developed in the long run, but I can acknowledge that's mostly my own personal opinion and potential bias showing. But ultimately, if they go through with it and 'confirm' it in the finale (as if they haven't been shoving it in the audience's faces the whole time with all the random blushing scenes and whatnot) I honestly think that's gonna make it look a lot worse, since, considering how fast-paced each episode moves from plot point to plot point.. it's gonna feel like they barely had any time to know each other before being officially 'in love.' Like, correct me if it's ever stated anywhere, but with how quickly episodes move from one point to the next, it feels like the plot only takes place over the course of, maybe a few weeks? So for them to already be 'in love' by that point feels like. you barely knew each other. what. I think this being the buildup into something they could explore further next season (assuming both of them can even make it out alive, but hell if one of them does they could always reflect in retrospect) kept it from being too annoying for me, since it felt like this was, again, the beginning of something, the teasing of it leading up to something that would be explored later. I still didn't like it, but I felt like at least the longer it sits eventually it'll go somewhere that actually adds depth to the plot, right..? But eh.. I don't think it does? It just kinda makes it feel like Uzi ends up crushing on any guy in front of her tbh, considering her other implied crush is Thad, I think. Her instantly getting a crush on N after they just met (especially considering their circumstances really should be making her hesitant to grow to trust him, not just.. instantly falling for him for no reason when they barely know each other..) just makes everything feel weaker in my opinion. Unless they wanna pull some 'power of love' thing at the end (which is also gonna feel. weird.) I personally feel like their connection would've been more meaningful if it were kept platonic. Having them be romantically interested in each other feels more like a simplification of their dynamic than giving it any additional depth. It just feels like it takes away depth in favor of shipping. But hey, that's mostly opinion based, at least more so than everything else I've said.

But overall I just think.. so much of the plot felt interesting because I thought we'd have time to develop it more, to develop the characters more, but we don't. We have one episode left and I feel like a lot of the characters have mostly been developed through a few conversations here and there and throwaway jokes. It feels like the show so rarely takes its characters seriously to the point that it feels like they've barely gotten any moments of real development because half their dialogue is just trying to be funny. That's where I get to talking about filler. In most shows, filler would be considered a bad thing, people don't generally like it, or at least criticize it more openly, take Steven Universe for example. If you've seen anything of that fandom's critique, you'll get what I mean. But the problem people had with shows like that is that they spent too much time on filler and barely developed its plot.

As weird as this may sound, I feel like Murder Drones has the opposite problem. It feels like they took most fandom's critiques of "this show went on for too long, therefore if it was shorter, it would be good." and just ran with it without stopping to think about why that critique applied to that specific show. I honestly think the show being so short makes it far less enjoyable in retrospect, because it feels like if this was the plan from the beginning, if the show was really going to end here.. it needed more time to properly develop it as a finale. It needed more time to feel like everything up until this point actually mattered and felt complete. As it stands now, I don't think that's going to be the case..

I think the problem is, ironically, they spent so much time on plot during most of their episodes, it feels like they were so focused on establishing the setting/worldbuilding and leaving character interactions to just be comedic relief, that the characters feel underdeveloped compared to everything else. (That, and it really doesn't help that this story isn't easy to follow on a first watch at all. A lot of plot points are explained through blink-and-you'll-miss-it moments to the point that I feel like you usually need to rewatch episodes or watch people talk about those freeze-frames in order to understand the more intricate details of what's going on/what's happened. But that's a side tangent.. I think this would've worked fine if it had been buildup, something that would continue to be explained/expanded on in-show later, but to expect your audience to pay attention to those freeze-frames and blink-and-you'll-miss-it moments is kind of alienating a casual audience that wants to be able to understand the plot without pausing the show every couple seconds for certain episodes. Anyway..) I feel like the characters development has been so surface-level up until this point I assumed it wasn't over, I assumed it would be expanded on, or at the very least N's treatment by V and J would be brought up again! They clearly damaged his self-confidence a lot, it feels very odd to brush that off as a "funny haha" thing when we're talking about a character's self confidence and identity. There's so many little things like that that I thought would be expanded on, and ultimately it seems like they may never be.

Personally? I think the show could've used more filler episodes to develop the characters more. Episodes that may not advance the plot but advance the characters dynamics and development. Instead it feels like those elements have been pushed aside, deemed secondary to explaining Cyn's lore and whatnot. I think the reason why shorter shows like this can work is ultimately because of how little they have going on to begin with. the best example I can think at the moment is Over the Garden wall, which amounted to I think also around 9 episodes? with most being around 10 minutes or so if I remember correctly. The reason that show worked so well is because the premise was so simple and character-driven. The moments that felt like they barely served the plot felt like they still had purpose because they served the characters, and at worst were a small bit of worldbuilding that helps add to the setting. The few episodes that were entirely plot-focused with no filler whatsoever were used more sparingly, and that's part of why they worked. It's like the whole thing with having a dark story with no lighthearted moments to balance it out, if you never see the characters happy, then seeing them continue to be upset doesn't have as much meaning, does it? I feel like it's the same kind of idea here. Our characters are so underdeveloped because the episodes have been so plot-focused I feel like we barely know anything about them and what they're thinking throughout all of this. We get some moments here and there but it's all so.. background in my opinion, and that's really sad to me. Especially because I think the Prom episode sort of shows that they're willing to do filler episodes like that. It's so odd in retrospect because that felt like the most blatant filler episode possible, they go to prom, doll tries to kill people- well, V was already gonna do that, so what else is new! It feels like there were ultimately only a couple minutes worth of screentime that contributed to the plot/characters, and the rest felt kinda skippable by comparison. Worse yet I feel like the prom setting made it feel like blatant shipping bait which.. I think I've already shown how I feel about that so I'll just ignore it for now. I'm not saying the prom episode shouldn't exist or that it should be skipped. My point is that it's a good example that they can create episodes that barely affect the larger plot but do spend at least some of that time building the characters, although not too much, i'll take something over nothing. My point is that I think they should've had more of this. (In concept, please, no more ship-bait prom episodes. can we let that trope go please?) If we had spent more time with episodes like this that build the characters a bit while only contributing to the main plot slightly, I say that's good! the show feels like it's trying so hard to cram all of its lore into the timeslot of the episode that having an episode where they don't do that means we have more time to focus on the characters and just breathe from the loredumping. I dunno. I'm tired, I've been rambling a while, but my point is with the way the show is in its current state, I honestly have severe doubts the finale is going to deliver on all the hype its built for itself. I think the show should've gone on longer, either pacing out the plot we already have across a wider range of episodes, allowing for the same finale but with a lot more buildup to justify it being a finale.. or something as simple as a season two.

I absolutely have to clarify I don't say this as a hater or whatever or someone who's watched this show only seeing the negatives in it, because I didn't! I was a bit critical/skeptical of the first few episodes but ultimately leading up to this I was hyped for it! I thought we'd get time to expand on these interesting ideas, and I was excited to see where things would go, but knowing this is the end.. I'm back to being skeptical. I don't think the finale is going to automatically be terrible or anything like that. I'll still watch it hoping it turns out the best it can be- But ultimately, I think by the simple nature of this being a finale, no matter how well they pull it off, I don't think it's ultimately going to justify all the development and loose ends that are going to feel very left behind. I think even if the finale is amazing, simply the fact that this is all the time we were given with so many different ideas fighting for screentime- it's going to make the series harder to enjoy in retrospect, at least for me. I have hope for it, I do hope it's a good finale, but ultimately, I have my doubts that it'll be a satisfying one. I can only hope I'm proven wrong, but hey, I figure it's worth rambling on about, why not?

would you guys tolerate me if I rambled about how I feel like murder drones is too short to have a satisfying ending if this truly is the finale to the entire series. or would that be annoying. because I have so many thoughts about it and I'm gonna be honest I'm going into this finale way more cautious and critical than before

[thekatebridgerton]

Ok so a matchmaking au between show Philoise and Polin. Would be hilarious. This au came up talking to @missielynne

Since Show Phillip is technically loosely related to Penelope via Marina and he doesn't have any female relatives who know their way around London, a widow Phillip asks Lady Featherington for help and Portia just foists him up on Penelope.

And Penelope genuinely wants to help him except... He's got terrible luck with ladies.

I just like the idea of Phillip complaining to Penelope about how many times he's put his foot in his mouth with a young lady only to turn around and find Eloise trying not to laugh because his nervous tirades are 'cute' because she keeps meddling in their buisness like a good Bridgerton

Phillip: it was a disaster Penelope, I told her she was like a nepeta cataria and she looked at me like I just insulted her! I was trying to tell her her fondness for cats is admirable

Eloise: well it's her fault for not knowing the scientific name for catnip

Penelope: Eloise don't make him more nervous

Eloise: I'm not!

Later

Phillip: tell me please how was I supposed to know that lady doesn't read?"

Eloise: You could have asked her

Phillip: Yes miss Eloise, let's ask the daughter of a Marquis if she's by chance analphabetic, just to insult her more

Penelope: Oh dear, no wonder you look so discouraged

Phillip: 😭 I try not to insult women and it gets worse

Eloise: yeah that's why this is so fun 😂 I gotta tell Colin about this

The next day

Phillip: Wonderful I've managed to somehow tell this young lady that spending so much time in the library is only making her look like a white corpse, I thought pale skin was a compliment to ladies

Penelope: oh Phillip no

Eloise: he's even worse than me in this!! I'm a fan

Penelope: well maybe we can ask Edwina if she knows debutantes who read and also like the outdoors. Don't give up Phillip 🥺 and Eloise don't discourage him!

Eloise: okay you know I support you two. But also... Down with the system! Boycott the marriage mart Phillip!

It would be like that au where a well meaning friend is trying to find the male lead a wife. Except he falls inlove with the commitment phobic comic relief who tagged along just to enjoy the chaos.

An au 'She's just not that into you' with Penelope and Eloise helping Phillip navigate the world of singledom and courting

Bonus if Colin thinks Phillip is falling inlove with Penelope but nope Phillip is just worried that Penelope may die before she finds him a wife. Because that's how hopeless he is at dating, So he brings her a lot of medicinal plants for her tea and aromatherapy flowers

Actually Colin being jealous of Phillip is twice as hilarious bc he's Marina's widow (you married Marina, now you want Penelope! I dislike you so much)

Colin being jealous of Phillip would be so funny, meanwhile Penelope be like 'wut? This himbo and me? We'd be the most awkward incompatible couple ever. Have you met us?! I want someone with a sense of humor who makes me laugh'

Phillip 'ditto on that, Penelope and I just give each other second hand embarassment, romantically it would suck'

Colin gets twice as jealous.

Phillip doesn't get it. At all.

Eloise does, she's dying of laughter

Phillip even tries brewing fun Greek tea for Colin as a peace offering while Colin fuming because he thinks Phillip is being condescending

Colin: STOP PATRONIZING ME

Phillip: I don't get it, Penelope told me you like Greek fun time tea. Why are you so angry at me?

Eloise: 😂😂 Phillip keep doing whatever you're doing, he's getting redder by the second. This is comedy gold

I'd like to see just an entire fanfiction of Penelope trying to find Phillip a wife, while jealous Colin tags along to protect her virtue and Eloise just follows them around to witness her friends try and fail to catch the eye of Mayfair debutantes. Eventually realizing she's gone and fallen inlove herself too. Once Colin admits he's inlove with Penelope.

Yeah I wanna read something like this.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Reaper and the Death Angel Part 20

Part 19

Series Masterlist

Contains: Fluff. Forensics and discussion of cold cases involving children. Smut (oral sex M receiving, body worship, complements fingering, CONSENT, mild dom Jax, mild sub reader, begging, aftercare.) Loosely follows the plot of season 1 episode 9.

6.1K Words

Comment if you want to be tagged

The beginning.

"I'm plan to get on my knees and suck your dick tonight, the smoothy will make it a bit more pleasant for me." His eyes went wide and he took a gulp from the glass, "this is really good."

You nodded, and he licked his lower lip. You straddled him, kissing him deeply while his hands moved down to grip your ass. You pulled away just as he started to grind you down onto him.

"See you tonight my love."

"Hale and ATF here for you."

You pulled one glove off and walked over to the intercom, "I'm doing a post, they can wait out there until I'm done or they can leave. I'll be another half an hour."

There was a belief pause before Travis spoke again, "Agent Sthal is being pretty insistent, she said that she's more than happy to talk to Holt if you don't come out."

That wouldn't go down well.

"Send them in, tell them to come to the exam room. Thank you Travis."

A few moments later, Hale and Stahl were at the door, "Dr l/n we'd like to talk to you about a few things."

You kept your focus on the remains in front of you, "we can talk through the door or you can come in. I have a job to do that doesn't involve helping you."

"We'd like to have your full attention."

You turned to glare at her, "best I can do is let you in. These remains belong to a child, nothing you could ask me is more important than making sure this little boy gets his story told."

You walked over and buzzed them in, Hale's hand immediately going to cover his nose, "if you have a problem with the smell of rotting flesh, you shouldn't be here." He gave one last look of disgust before dropping his hand.

"What is it that you wish to discuss? I'm a busy woman and I don't have the time to wait around for you to get your stomach under control." Sthal stepped forward, hands on her hips with a condescending look on her face. You put on a new glove and went back to the exam.

"What do you know about the Sons of Anarchy?" You pressed your lips together to avoid speaking out of turn.

"They're a motorcycle club. Samuel is my Brother and Jackson is my romantic partner. I'm on friendly terms with all of them, but I'm closest with Mr Ortiz and Mr Lowman, a member of the Tacoma charter. I get along great with Gemma and the other women, you're not going to find a problem with me."

Hale looked at Sthal as if to say, "I told you so."

Sthal wasn't interested in anything you had to say, "I would really like your full attention for this, it's very important." If looks could kill, she would be dead a thousand times over.

You dropped the tool in your hands and removed both gloves walking over to the door and gesturing for them to follow you. You took them on the short walk to bone storage before storming in.

"You want my full attention? You think whatever you want is more important than all these people waiting for justice. When I'm not thinking about the bones on my table, I'm thinking about the bones in here." You walked over to one wall and pulled out three trays.

"I would like you to pick one of these remains to be identified. If you can do that, we can go to my office and I'll talk to you." They were all clearly the bones of children, Hale reached out to the smallest set and you picked up the card.

"Sorry, not that one. The police mishandled the evidence and I don't have the time to talk to you and fix that mistake." You realised that while Sthal deserved this treatment, Hale probably didn't. He reached out to another box, and you shook your head.

"Nope sorry, the prime suspect for this one refused to give anything away. I don't have the time to collect evidence and work out a deal with the DA to get this little girl's killer." Sthal crossed her arms over her chest, "are you done?"

Deep breath

"No June, I'm not done. You have nothing on the Club, coming after the women, is just low. Now get lost, or I swear to Lucifer that I will make sure the forensics community knows how little you care about the dead." It took her a while to realise the mistake she had made, that didn't stop her from trying to recover ground.

"We'll come back later when you have the time." You glared at her one last time,

"Yes, that would be best."

The rest of the post was done by the afternoon, you were sitting in your office when Holt walked in.

"I saw ATF here today, did you cause a kerfuffle?"

You shrugged, "I don't know, Hale's growing on me but that women makes me want to punch her in her smug face." Holt nodded.

"I will ensure she is dealt with at the door next time, if it has to do with Jackson and his past time, then I can't have you dealing with personal matters during work hours. She can reach you at home from now on, I will inform Travis that only Hale is to be buzzed in from now on."

"Thanks, professor."

He paused at the doorway, "no problem, Dr l/n."

Hodgins popped in just after Holt left, "DNA's back, we got the guy. The DA is on the way." He left and your head dropped to the desk in relief, another case down, another one to find.

"A Mister Winston at the door for you."

That's a pleasant surprise.

"Send him in Travis, and remind me to bring you an extra bit of cake tomorrow for all your hard work today."

Opie arrived at your door a minute later, "hello Ope. Please sit, can I get you anything to eat or drink? There's plenty of stuff around."

He sat down at your desk, "a coffee is fine, thanks." you got the coffee ready and put it down in front of him, then sat down in your own chair.

"What brings you here today?"

Opie leaned forward and rested his arms on your desk, "I just wanted to sort out dropping the kids off here so Donna and I can have the day to ourselves. Thanks for the offer by the way."

You pulled up your calendar, "I have tomorrow, both days this weekend, next Monday and all of next weekend as well."

Opie thought for a minute, "tomorrow would be great."

After a few clicks, that was done, "all fixed, you can drop them off after 9:30 in the morning, I'll get them their food for the day so you guys can just leave the house in the morning without worrying."

You looked at the expression on his face, he seemed upset, "there's more, isn't there. I'm here to listen and I promise, these walls and steal traps. Nothing you say here gets out." Opie took a deep breath.

"What are your thoughts on all of this?"

His eyes were downcast, "I think you should do what makes you and your wife happy. The Club took you from her for five years Ope, it's going to take her time to come around."

He nodded, thinking about what you said carefully, "Jax and the other guys want out of guns, I'm not going to tell you to lie to Donna and say things are going to get better overnight. But with the peace with The Mayans, there's no reason to worry her either."

He took a long sip in contemplation, "and if she doesn't want me to be involved in the Club?"

You looked at him dead in the eyes, "then you leave the Club or you figure out how to leave her while still keeping your children happy. This isn't all about you and Donna, it's about them too. They need their parents to be happy and they will grow to understand if that means you being apart."

You finished his coffee before he responded, "Jax said you would tell it to me straight. You've given me a lot to think about. Thanks for listening."

You smiled at him, "no problem Ope, and for what it's worth, I think Donna will come around with the Club."

You got up and gave him a hug before walking him out. You would talk to Jax and about Clay and Tig were handling Ope later, over the last week or two it had become clear that Tig was poisoning Clay to be even more blind to the truth than he already was.

But now wasn't the time to think about that, from work, you were going up to Stockton to see Otto and then home to get ready for tonight.

****

"Hello Otto, how's life been treating you?" you put the box of supplies in front of him and sat down at the visiting tables.

"Alright now that you're here, how's Luann doing?"

Whenever Luann hadn't visited that week, which was rare, he always asked after her, "she's going great. One of her films won award, and the studio has been nominated for a women's rights award for her treatment of the staff. If she gets it, it will mean access to a much higher end of the market."

He gave you a strange look, "do you happen to be the person who put the nomination in?"

You looked at him sideways, "you know I'm not going to answer that. She treats her staff really well, she's deserving of some recognition. I've seen some terrible things in that industry, the only way it changes is if we give more power to the people who do the right thing."

He nodded, "yeah, you're right. How's Abel going?"

You smiled, "excellent, he'll be getting out of the incubator in a few day, then he'll be home a little while after that. We're all very relieved." Otto smiled and went through the box you had brought him.

"You know this foreign food is making me very popular, I'm going to have to start some import store if you keep it up."

You giggled, "hey if French chocolate gets you all the friends you could ask for, I'm happy to provide it." He laughed, rubbing his face at the dry humour.

"A little birdy told me that you and Jax were finally together."

You shook your head, "I swear you guys are worse gossips than Marines and that's saying something. Yes, Jax and I are now together." He smiled at you and the bell rang.

"I see you same time next month?"

He nodded, "yeah, be safe and bring pictures of Abel when he comes home." With one last hug, you left.

*****

'Thanks for dinner Sammy!" Sam was already walking away, leaving you and Jax at the table.

"How was Otto?"

He leaned over and grabbed one of your hands on his, "good, he misses everyone but overall, he's doing ok."

Jax nodded, "thanks for going to see him. We try to go when we can but with everything going on we haven't had the time." You ran your thumb over his knuckles.

"You really should, the more you see him, the more he knows that people on the outside care, the easier it will be for him. And I understand if this point offends you but you can't give the cops a way in. Loneliness is an amazing weapon."

Jax thought for a minute, "I know, I'll get something going with the guys so someone is always ready for a visit."

He watched your facial expression change, "shall we head upstairs? I do have plans for the rest of the night."

Jax gave you a cocky smile, "I can't wait to see these plans."

You smiled under your eyelashes, "I'm sure you'll have fun."

****

You led Jax to the middle of the room and got a pillow off the bed, dropping it to the side.

"Can I ask you a favour? You can say no."

He nodded, "sure Darlin." You kissed his chin.

"I really want to suck your dick, but I also really just want to touch you."

He tilted his head in confusion, "you are touching me."

You barely suppressed a smile, "not like that, I want to…….. admire your architecture." he thought for less than a second before grabbing the hem of his shirt.

"Let me, please." He dropped his hands and you slid yours over his body, gripping the edge before Jax helped you pull it over his head.

The expression on your face made the blood run to Jax's dick, it reminded him of the same look you gave him when you first met but this was laced with so much desire. You leaned in, brushing your fingertips over his skin, he could feel you regarding him like he was some kind of prize artwork.

"You're so warm, your skin feels like a blanket warmed by the sun in summer." Jax felt his face get hot, it's not like he wasn't used to women worshipping him but this was different. You were running your fingers over his every ridge and angle, pausing to press a kiss on specific points.

You brushed your thumb and then your lips over a scar on his side, "how did you get this one?"

He smiled down at you, "feel out of a tree when I was a teenager." You kissed it again before moving onto another area of his chest.

Jax felt painfully hard and it was clear you hadn't even begun yet, not that he had any plans on stopping you. You moved to his arms next, touching the tips of your fingers to the dome of his shoulder.

"You have such nice arms, can I confess something?"

He smiled, "sure Darlin." You pressed your nose to his skin then nipped it gently.

"You are very very biteable. I don't know whether it's the build up of frustration and desire or the fact that you're so attractive that it makes me angry but I can barely contain myself."

He raised his eyebrows at you, "is that so?"

You shook your head, "you're insufferable Teller." You moved to the other arm and then his back, caressing then kissing his shoulder blades, then his tattoo and finally, up his spine.

You ran a hand along his pants, "can I?" He moved his hands to help and you knocked them away, removing his sweatpants but not his boxers before moving the pillow and kneeling on it.

Looking down at you while you pressed kisses to his legs made him feel like this was an act of worship, and yet, he felt like he should prostrate himself at your feet, rip open his chest cavity and hand you his heart for you to do with it whatever you wish.

Mercifully, you finally touched your fingers to the elastic of his boxers and he nodded, you pulled them down and his cock sprang against his stomach. You put one hand on his hip and the other hand around the base of his dick.

"If I pinch you, it means stop. If I tap, it means slow down. Other than that you can enjoy yourself. You'll have to give me some direction because I want to make sure you are having fun, ok? If you're going to cum, just tap my cheek."

Jax put a hand on your head and used the other hand to stroke your face, "just do whatever you want, I'll tell you if I don't like something."

You started small, kissing the head while your hand moved up and down the shaft. As you took the head in your mouth Jax groaned and you went a little deeper, "yeah that's good."

You pulled away, shooting him a sly grin when he looked down at you. You turned your head to the side, licking him from base to tip and back again before going back to sucking the first third of him into your mouth.

"Fuck, just like that." You did as he asked, taking a deep breath before going a little deeper. As the hand on your head became more insistent, your movements became quicker. Jax was now moving your head back and forth in earnest, moaning and grunting with each movement.

"You're ready good at that. Holy shit, I can't belive I waited so long to make you my old lady." You laughed and the vibrations made his knees shake. He felt you pinch his hip before you pulled off him.

"Can I touch myself?" His breath caught in his throat, he started to go over the parts of a bike engine in his head in hopes of not cumming like a teenager.

"You're going to kill me y/n."

You laughed again, "that didn't answer my question Jackson, can I touch myself while I suck your dick?"

He groaned again, and moved back slightly so he would have a better view of your whole body, "please Darlin, although I can't promise how long I'll last with that vision." You smiled at him and he watched one hand move down your body while the mouth went back to work.

He tried, he really did but all it took was the shake of one of your moans and he was lightly tapping your cheek. He was expecting you to pull back but you pulled him deeper into your mouth and one of your hands drifted to lift his balls towards his body.

The orgasm nearly threw him off his feet, desperately grabbing for anything as one of your hands braced against his hip. The gentle push of your small hand against him helped him stand on unsteady legs and then you were kissing back up his body.

"Thank you Jackson, I really enjoyed that." He stood there stunned, you enjoyed it, you were thanking him.

"Is your phone off?"

You tilted your head at him on confusion, "it's never off, why?" he put one hand on your upper arm and the other around your waist and pulled you to him.

"Because you're not leaving this bedroom until I'm done with you. I don't care what's going on." You stood on tippytoes, brushing your lips against his.

"And what you planing on doing? There won't be any begging from me it that's wht you're after." He shook his head with an arrogant smile on his face, his hand drifting down your body to your centre.

You try to suppress a moan as his fingers glance over you, "really, because I beg to differ with how wet you are already." You attempted to glare at him but it only came across as desperate.

"Balls in your court Teller."

The hand still on your upper arm softened and he shifted it to your face, leaning down to kiss you. He pulled away, kissing a path over your cheek to your ear, "show me what you like." You raced to put your hand over his, fumbling for a moment to lay your fingers over his.

Jax's hand was mostly limp, accepting your guidance with ease. As he got more confident, you pressed less and less and finally, you moved your hand to grip his forearm.

"That feel good?" You nodded, flopping against his body as his fingers moved on you. Jax felt like a king, all that talk and you weren't able to hold up your own weight as he touched you.

Jax chuckled, moving to whisper in your ear, "if you don't think I'm going to pay back your appreciation of my architecture, as you put it, you're wrong. I'm just going to wait until you least expect it."

Your head fell back against his chest, "I'm immune to your charms Mr Teller." his fingers sped up and any other words caught in your throat.

"Bed?"

You kissed the side of his face, "please." there was a quick shift and your knees hit the edge. You sat down, grabbing Jax's arms to pull him down as you laid back. Once you were both positioned comfortably, his fingers returned to your slit.

"Oh fuck, keep going please."

He smiled and his voice took on such a cockiness, "that sounds a lot like begging." You sat up a little, latching onto his shoulder with your teeth before kiss your way up to kiss his face.

"That's not begging, that was a simple req……." you couldn't finish the rest of your sentence because two of his fingers were sliding inside you.

"Sure Darlin, you can say that all you like but we both know the truth. You'll be begging soon enough." You tilted your head, sucking on the point where his neck met his shoulder.

He crocked his fingers, looking for the rough spot inside you. He observed your reactions carefully, watching each grasp and moan. He would slow as you got close, focusing more on kissing any skin available to his lips.

"Come on y/n, don't make this hard on yourself. All you have to do is ask and I'll give you what you want."

He felt your teeth glance over his collarbone, "fuck off you insufferable man, you won't be winning this one." he smiled down at you, pushing himself up on his elbow so he was leaning over you.

"I promise I'll make it worth your while. It must be getting hard to hold out, I can feel you shaking." His condescending tone was undermined by the way he started to kiss you, soft and full of love.

"Please Jax, I'll do whatever you want. Please."

He pulled back, running his free hand over your face, "see, was that so hard?" his hand moved from your face to his hard cock, stroking it in time with his fingers.

"Jax I'm close."

He bit his lower lip, nodding slightly, "me too." He rubbed his thumb on your clit just a little harder and that was it, you exploded over his hand. You were vaguely aware of Jax groaning, his fingers stuttering inside you just a bit. He kept touching you as you came down, until finally pulling out when you got too sensitive.

"That was fanfuckingtasic, thank you."

Jax groaned again, "if you want to leave this room, you have to stop thanking me after doing stuff together. It's making it very hard to think about anything else when you take that sweet tone."

You giggled, pecking him then biting his lower lip, "I'm a very appreciative person, Beloved, you're going to have to get used to it." he smiled at you, soft and warm.

"You stay here, I'll clean us up."

Jax got up and you took the time to admire him, "you have a very nice derriere. Jax stopped his journey to the bathroom to laugh.

"Derriere. What is this, the 1890s?" He kept walking, laughing softly as he cleaned himself with one cloth and brought another warm, damp one to clean you before getting back up and putting the used fabric in the hamper.

He climbed into bed, pulling you to him so your head was against his chest. You both laid there for a while, Jax stroking your hair gently.

"You're going to be there tomorrow with me when they take Abel out, right?"

You tilted your head to look up at him, "of course, Holt gave me the whole day off." Jax smiled softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

His burner beeped and checked the text before tossing his phone back down, "is everything ok?"

He nodded, "yeah, Clay and Tig just went in to meet with the Irish." One of his fingers started to trace your cheekbone, his fingertip gracing over the highest point.

"You know it's only early, right? They will out before ten at this rate and then you can relax, until then, do you want to watch some TV?" Jax nodded, reaching over to grab the remote.

"You can choose this time, I'm sure there's something you'll find interesting."

Jax smiled, flipping through the channels and recorded shows, "oooooo, the history of stolen art. That sounds fun." You shrugged at him and he put it on, putting the remote down, he placed the hand across your body and rested it on your hip.

"You good?"

You giggled a little, pushing up to kiss him gently, "I'm great, you?"

Jax pressed his lips together, leaning down to whisper in your air, "never been better, but you know what's going to beat this? The show you're going to put on for me because I won our bet." You giggled, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

"Well then Jackson, you better get to planing."

He chuckled softly, "I meant what I said, I regret not telling you how I felt sooner." You thought for a moment before replying.

"I knew you had feelings for me, so it's on both of us." Jax looked at with an unreadable expression.

"I knew you had feelings for me too." There was a pause before you both broke out into full-blown laughter.

"The day that Hap got shot, he called me off his face on pain meds to tell me that you were always talking about me and that when I walked in, in that dress, you reverted back to twelve and said I was the prettiest girl you had ever seen." Jax went red.

"Well Hap must have called me after you because he said you got all weird every time someone asked you how you felt about me, and he was totally convinced you loved me." You buried your face in his chest.

"Bobby blabbed too, and Billy was very insistent that you were totally into me."

Jax smiled, latching his hand in yours, "I'm not surprised, he called me yesterday and made it clear that if I ever hurt you I'd be getting shot."

You laughed softly, "I'll have to pull him up on that, he can't behave like that."

Jax chuckled, pulling your hand to his mouth to kiss your palm, "it's ok, he seemed pretty happy about the whole thing. I've been invited to your next get together."

You looked at Jax with mock fear, "oh shit, that's not good. Marines gossip worse than school girls. You'll be answering questions for hours. I'll have to find a photo and point everyone out so you go in prepared."

You were going to expain more when Jax's phone rung, he picked it up and looked at the ID before tossing it back down.

"It's Clay, if it's important, he'll call back." Sure enough, Jax got another call a minute later. After listening to Clay, he shot out of bed, looking for clothes to throw on. He hung up, getting your own clothes from a drawer, "one the Irish has been shot by the Nords, get your kit."

****

When you got to the Clubhouse Juice and Chibs were leaning over a bleeding man, you put the kit down and surveyed the scene, "what have we got?

Chibs spoke up, "the slug hit an artery, Juice is stopping the bleeding but this is outside my area of expertise." you got supplies out of the kit, handing some things to Chibs and putting an ungloved hand on Juice's shoulder.

"You're the only reason he'll alive right now because your finger is tamponading the bleeding." You waved Gemma over.

"You need to give him these, being shot in the area will give him an infection so we need to try and stop that. He needs to take two now and then two every four hours, he has to finish the bottle or the infection will come back with a vengeance."

Gemma shook him awake, "the doctor's here to fix your up, she's Jax's old lady. You're in good hands."

Camron lifted his head slightly, "are you Irish doc?

You shook your head, "nope, but I've seen and treated more gunshots than you've had hot meals, so you'll be ok." You stuck him with the painkiller cocktail and he passed out.

You went back over to Juice, pouring iodine solution over Hayes' injuries. "On three, you're going to pull your finger out and I'm going to close the artery with this clamp." He nodded and you started counting, on three, Juice pulled away and you slipped in to clamp the bleeding wound.

"Great work Juice, you saved his life." Juice smiled at you and left to clean up. Over the next hour, you walked Chibs through what you were doing, with him eventually taking over while you instructed.

After it was done and Hayes was being taken to the cabin, Jax came over to speak to you, "what do you think?"

You thought for a moment, "it's hard to say, it's a pretty bad area to get shot in. If the antibiotics keep the infection at bay, he should be fine but they aren't always foolproof and I don't have access to the cocktails that hospitals do."

He nodded, "and everyone else?"

You took a deep breath, looking around to his if anyone was in earshot, "Chibs is fine, he'll be able to deal with similar problems from now on. Maybe give Juice an extra thank you or two, I don't think he's doing too well with all the mess." Jax nodded, leaning down to kiss you.

"You should head back home, I'll be dealing with this for the rest of the night. Or, you can stay here tonight, just in case you're needed again."

You kissed him back, pulling away as Clay approached, "good idea My Love. I think I'm going to have another shower, my go-bag is in my car." Just before Clay pulled Jax aside, you kissed him one last time and went to start getting ready to settle in for the night.

It was around four in the morning when you heard Jax come in, after a very brief shower, he flopped on the bed, mumbling about telling you the whole story in the morning and then he was asleep.

****

"KNOCK KNOCK"

"Jax, y/n ATF are here to talk to you." You lifted your head off the pillow, Jax was wrapped around your body, rubbing his eyes with his hand.

'We'll be out in a minute, tell them to wait." You dropped your head back down, "well there goes our morning plans, I'll call the hospital and tell them we'll be there for Abel later in the day.

After little fanfare, you dressed and went out to the picnic tables to talk to Agent Sthal and her partner.

"I know you're a busy woman, but we won't take much of your time." Everyone was standing around watching, "where were you last night between 8pm and 12am?" You glared at her.

"With my boyfriend, is there a reason you're asking about my whereabouts?"

She huffed, "there were reports of a shooting in the vicinity of one of the Club's hangout, we were wondering if you knew anything about it."

You rolled your eyes, "why would I know anything about that, and if I did, why the fuck I would I even be talking to you? Can you please stop wasting my taxes and go and do something worthwhile." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I would have thought this was the last place you would be, I'm surprised you haven't asked Jackson to leave the Club, considering everything they're involved in."

You shot up, looking directly in her eyes so she could see how angry you were, "how dare you say something so offensive and hurtful. I love Jackson entirely for all that he is, including the Club. I would never ever try and change something so fundamental to the way he is. The fact that you even thought to mention it shows you know nothing about me or anyone else here. Now leave me the fuck alone before I bring you up on harassment, you have no reason to keep questioning me."

Everyone was taken aback, Jackson went from looking shocked to boastful and Gemma was standing off to the side with a knowing look on her face.

Sthal for her part, wasn't happy about being embarrassed. You preemptively got a card out of your wallet and slid it towards her.

"After that statement, you and any of your ATF colleges can go through my lawyer. Now, unless you want me to file a complaint, you are going to apologise for saying such a terrible thing." She was practically snarling at you.

"I'm sorry for offending you, I just thought you'd hold yourself to a higher standard." When she saw the look on your face, she realised her mistake.

"You should be hearing from your superiors in the next few hours. I'm going to call the ATF director on my way to see Jax's son right now. I hope you're happy about the damage you just did to your career.

She and her partner walked away and once they were off the compound, the crowd erupted, "that was fucking beautiful Lass, you're a lucky man Jackie Boy."

Jax shook his head, leaning in to kiss you hard on the lips.

"Yeah, I am."

You kissed him back, grabbing his head in your hands, "let's go see Abel and then you can thank me for dealing with the pigs with such grace." Everyone laughed and you were off.

****

"You ready?"

Jax's smile lit up the whole room, "I've held him before but this just feels different."

You slid to the edge of your chair, "because this is the first time you've been able to just hold him. Before this, you had to worry about something going wrong."

Jax nodded softly, "yeah, it's nice just to be able to hold him." The doctor came out with Abel wrapped in the blanket, gently passing him to Jax.

Jax was lost for words, he looked over at you and the expression on your face. There was a voice in his head screaming at him not to fuck this up.

"I hate to break it to you, but I'm your old man." You leaned in, putting a hand on his leg.

Jax tilted his head towards you, "and that very pretty lady over there is your mum." Jax knew it from the moment he saw you holding Abel the first time that it was true, all your statements about what kind of parent he needed to be only reinforced that.

"You really mean that? I mean, that's what you want?" He could hear the cautious hope in your voice.

Jax handed Abel to you, "without a doubt."

You sat, looking down at his sweet little face and couldn't find it in yourself to protest, "Sam will be happy to hear that, he's always talked about being the coolest uncle in the world."

After sitting with Abel for a little while and a quick talk with his doctors about transitioning him to home over the next two days you and Jax left with plans to see how the renovations to his house were going.

*****

The house was mostly done, and a quick walkthrough left you sitting at the kitchen table. Jax had become more distant as the day went on, his thoughts seemingly drifting elsewhere.

"What's wrong my love?"

He took a deep breath before replying, "Do you know Brenan Hefner?" He watched your facial expression change.

"That stupid fuck? I wish I didn't, he's as dirty as it comes. A shipping container with three bodies showed up at the port and he stopped any investigation. I was waiting at the port for hours before one of his cronies came out and said that it was a misunderstanding and nothing was wrong." Jax put his head in his hands.

"Hayes asked us to take him out, do you know if he's mobbed up?"

You nodded your head, "he's not made but he's got friends. But not many, so it won't be an issue. Will Happy be the one to do it?"

Jax shrugged, "I have no idea. But I hope so, I'm worried that Clay's going to tap Opie to do it."

You rubbed your head, "If he does, he does. All you can do is be there for Ope. I'll give you my thoughts after I see them tomorrow." Jax reached his hand across the table to grab yours.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

You gave a quick laugh, "crash and burn?" Jax returned your laugh.

"Yep."

Part 21

I would really really appreciate feedback on the smut, it's the first time I've written it for this character and the first time I've written anything super explicit in a modern setting.

[helloalycia]

a bitch [one] // leigh shaw

summary: you're used to leigh's constant mood swings and unpredictability, but didn't expect she'd ever do something to hurt you like she did.

warning/s: cheating

author's note: an angsty leigh shaw imagine was requested, so here we are! there's one more part to this so enjoy 😊

part two | masterlist | wattpad

Leigh Shaw could be a very unpredictable woman.

Ever since the unfortunate death of her husband, Matt, she'd become very erratic. It was hard to remember what she was like before he died, but then she'd flash me a smile and say something adorable and I remembered. Other times though, she could be as explosive as they came. If you ever got swept up in her mood swings, you'd be screwed.

Despite this, I remained by her side. That's what best friends did. Even when she yelled at me or gave me the cold shoulder or treated me like dirt, I stayed because I knew that was what she needed.

One time, a few months after Matt's death, I was stopping by to see how she was. A prime example of the cold effect she could have on people.

I raised my hand to knock, but the door suddenly swung open, revealing a peeved Jules and a pissed Leigh further behind her in the hallway.

"Hey," I greeted her sister with a smile, but she moved past me moodily. I glanced at Leigh before catching Jules' arm, stopping her. "What happened?"

Jules smiled bitterly. "You know, you should reconsider where you put your care, Y/N. Some people just aren't worth it."

At that last part, she glared over my shoulder, no doubt at Leigh. I turned to look at Leigh, who merely stuck a middle finger up at her sister before storming towards to the kitchen.

"What a bitch," Jules mumbled, making me wince because it was such a horrible word.

Jules shook me off before marching to her car to leave. I sighed and turned around to let myself in to their house. Closing the door behind me, I followed after Leigh and found her making toast in the kitchen angrily.

"Hey," I began softly, not wanting to give her another reason to get pissed off. Sitting on a stool at the island, I asked, "What happened?"

She forced a smile as she grabbed her toast from the toaster and dropped it on a plate. "My sister can't respect my space is all."

I pursed my lips awkwardly, watching as she grabbed butter from the fridge. Noticing my silence, she glanced up at me through her eyelashes.

"What?" she deadpanned, pausing from her actions.

"I don't think Jules is trying to upset you," I began, knowing I'd probably regret it. "I'm sure she understands you want space, but she loves you. And when you see someone you love hurting, you feel like you have to do something."

A sour smile broke out on her face as she scoffed. "Wow. Could you have your head stuck any further up Jules' arse?"

"Leigh, that's not what I'm–"

"What the hell are you even doing here?" she snapped. "I didn't invite you, Y/N."

Tensing my jaw, I refrained from getting annoyed. "Believe it or not, I actually wanted to check on you."

She curled her lips into a frown. "Well, I'm fine."

As if to prove that she was, she continued to butter her toast, but when she set her knife down, it slipped off the edge of the table and clattered to the floor. Frustrated, she slammed a fist on the countertop.

"It's okay, I'll–"

"Just get out," she cut me off when I was making a move to help her. I paused, wondering if she meant it, then her deadly green glare settled on my face. "Leave."

Sighing with defeat, I nodded and wordlessly left.

—

Sometimes Leigh wouldn't apologise. She'd act like nothing had happened and we'd move on. Other times, she actually would, surprisingly recognising that she'd done something wrong.

There was this one time when I'd invited her over for the evening to eat dinner and watch some films. The dinner went perfectly fine – we talked, we laughed, we spent time together – but then when we settled in the living room to watch a film, things started to unravel.

I can't remember exactly what she'd said. One second we were choosing a film on Netflix, then she was trying to make plans with me on the weekend. Unfortunately, I already had plans with my girlfriend, Alex, and Leigh didn't seem to like this. She'd made a comment under her breath and though I don't remember it specifically, I knew it wasn't polite.

Before I knew it, we were screaming at each other, arguing over the dumbest things. It started off being about my girlfriend and then the most unrelated stuff was being brought up on both of our ends. Sometimes she could be so aggravating, managing to rile me up and bring the worst out in me. The argument lasted a few minutes before she left, leaving me seething and full of hurt.

It was the following day at work when she came to see me next. I owned a café a few doors down from her mother's dance studio and was working a shift when her sister came through the front door.

I smiled at her when she approached the counter dressed in gym gear, her usual getup when at work with her family.

"Hey, how're you doing, Jules?" I asked.

"I'm good," she greeted with a smile, before it faded. "Just a warning, Y/N, Leigh is incoming in one minute. She wants to apologise."

Eyes rolling with mild annoyance, I let out a sigh. As dreadful as our spat was last night, I knew I had to also apologise to her. I'd said some hurtful things that made me feel all icky inside. Going to sleep after a fight was never a nice feeling.

"I don't know how you've put up with her for this long," Jules commented, picking up a cupcake from the display. "She can be so horrible to you."

I frowned, not feeling comfortable talking badly of Leigh behind her back. "That's not fair, Jules. You know what she's going through."

Jules gave me a knowing look. "I do, but that doesn't give her a free pass to treat you like she does."

Shrugging, I busied myself with cleaning up the crumbs from Jules' cupcake and giving her a plate.

"I take it you're going to forgive her then," she stated, though she definitely knew the answer judging from her expression.

"We both said some things we shouldn't have," I tried to explain so it didn't seem like I was giving in so easily, which deep down, I definitely knew I was, but Leigh was worth it.

Jules chuckled. "Yep, you're forgiving her. Looks like it's Leigh's lucky day."

I didn't say anything as she picked up the plate, ready to take a seat at one of the tables. Just as she was about to leave, she paused thoughtfully.

"You know, if you didn't have a girlfriend already, I'd say you were whipped," she said casually.

Ignoring her words, I watched her take her a seat on one of the spare tables. She made jokes like that a lot, but the truth was that I would probably do anything for Leigh. We'd been best friends since university – that was way too long to simply throw away our friendship because she was going through a tough time. And yes, the girlfriend talk threw me off at times... by the time I'd realised I liked Leigh as more than a friend, she was engaged. And I got over it, but Jules continued with the jokes and I continued to dismiss it.

As Jules warned, Leigh entered the café and caught my eyes with a nervous smile. I returned it, just as nervous as she looked, before watching her approach the counter. She was dressed in gym gear, like her sister, but a fine layer of sweat coated her skin which made me think she may have just finished teaching a class.

"Hey," she said with a rare gentleness to her voice. Her hands rested on the counter, fumbling slightly, before she put them by her sides instead. "How are you?"

Uncomfortably, I played with a loose thread on my apron. "I've been better, not gonna lie."

She exhaled regretfully. "I want to apologise, Y/N. Last night... it wasn't fair what I did. Just snapping at you like that."

I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet and avoided her eyes.

"I just get so angry sometimes," she admitted, noticing I wouldn't speak. She sounded exhausted and I looked up to see her running a hand through her hair. "I can't explain it. My anger at you wasn't about Alex or the plans, it was just me."

"It's because you're still hurting," I told her what I'd observed, shoulders relaxing. "And you're not very good at expressing that."

She shook her head, eyes drifting to the till distractedly. "I should be because I keep hurting the people I love."

My heart ached at the devastation in her voice and I put my hand out, motioning for her to take it. Thankfully, she did and I squeezed hers gently.

"Look, let's just forget it happened," I said with a small smile. "I... I didn't exactly say the nicest of things either."

She grimaced, letting go of my hand. "No, I get why you said it. It wasn't fair of me to just start on you like that. You were just defending your girlfriend... God, I can be such a bitch sometimes."

I winced at the word, it grating my ears. "That's not true, Leigh."

"It is." She nodded slowly, rolling her eyes. "Everybody thinks it. Including you."

"I don't think that," I said with creased brows, meeting her saddened eyes. "You're not a bitch. I've never once thought that."

"Really?" She raised a brow, smiling with defeat. "Not even that time when I stole your doughnuts after that fight we had two weeks ago?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Not even when I snapped at you for no reason the other day when you tried to help me write my article?"

"Not even then."

Her expression softened with guilt. "Not even when I called you a selfish jerk last night for not wanting to spend time with me even though you have a life of your own?"

I rounded the counter and stopped before her, looking between her guilt-ridden eyes. "Especially not then, Leigh."

She breathed out quietly and I pulled her in for a hug, glad when I felt her relax beneath me. Her arms clasped around my waist and I was glad we were good again.

—

It was a year later when Leigh and I eventually got together as a couple. It was a long time after I broke up with my girlfriend and it was completely unexpected.

I'd invited Leigh to be my 'date' to my mum's birthday party, since the two had gotten on so well in the past. She was happy to oblige, but as soon as we arrived, her mood changed.

I was helping collect the pizzas from the delivery guy when he started to flirt with me. At the time, I didn't even realise, but I knew that Leigh had acted different since it happened. When I finally confronted her about her sudden mood swing, she proceeded to make out with me completely unexpectedly and then admitted she was in love with me.

I'm not gonna lie, it was a good time. Since breaking up with my girlfriend, I'd been single and falling for my best friend all over again. Leigh making the first move was all I'd needed to finally share how I felt, too.

That was six months ago, and since then, we'd been going strong. Of course, there were still times when she had her mood swings and took it out on me (and literally everyone else) without realising, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I was used to it, used to her. So much that I should have trusted her even when presented with conflicting evidence.

We were at her workplace, Basically News, where she wrote columns part-time. It was a work party she'd been invited to and she'd asked me to be her date, which of course I said yes to. At the moment, we may or may not have been a little tipsy as we stood in the corner, drinking from flutes of champagne.

"Thank you again for coming here tonight as my date," Leigh said with a grin, arms laced around my neck as she held me close.

Pressing a kiss to my lips briefly, she pulled away and left my head spinning, and not just because of the alcohol.

"Any excuse to not be on the closing shift at work is good enough for me," I said playfully, resting my hands behind her waist.

She gasped. "Oh? So it wasn't me who persuaded you to come tonight?"

I pulled a face, feigning forgetfulness. "Hmm, I'm not too sure. Maybe you'll have to remind me why I agreed to come."

She bit her lip to contain her grin, eyes flickering to my lips. Leaning in, her lips met mine and I closed my eyes, enjoying the way she combed her hand through my hair and tilted my head towards her so she could get better access. She was a really good kisser and she knew the effect she had on me as I felt her smirk into it, catching her breath, before chasing down my lips and nibbling on them temptingly.

Remembering where we were, I gently pushed her back and tried to contain my smile. "Make it PG, Leigh. You're at work."

She licked her lips and began to laugh, green eyes darting between mine. "You're just so cute."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "I don't want everyone here knowing how irresistible you are or they might try to steal you away."

Her laughter filled the air, making my stomach flip at the sound.

"Though I think they may already know that because of how sexy you look tonight," I added, eyes fluttering down her body to appreciate just how well she pulled off her fitted black dress.

She raised her brows with surprise, making me mirror her expression comically.

Leaning close to my ear, she said above a whisper, "D'you wanna know something not-so-sexy?"

Her breath tickled my ear and sent shivers down my spine, making me tense up slightly. Judging from the expression on her face, she was very much aware of what she was doing to me.

"What?" I asked with amusement.

"I really need to pee," she said, and I began to laugh because she did, too, and I knew she wasn't kidding. Pressing a kiss to my cheek, she added, "I'll be right back."

Letting go of me, she waved goodbye before going to the toilets. I busied myself with getting to know her colleagues whilst I waited, until five minutes had passed and I realised she still hadn't returned. Deciding to check on her, I headed in the direction of the toilets, only to freeze when I saw something I definitely wasn't expecting.

Leigh was kissing another girl outside of them.

It was her colleague, Abby, that was the first thing I noticed. But I didn't stay to make out anything more as I immediately turned around and walked away, trying to make my brain catch up to what I'd just seen.

Leigh was kissing somebody else. Somebody that wasn't me. Somebody who I had always suspected had a thing for her, but I never considered that maybe Leigh had a thing for her, too.

Definitely not tipsy anymore, I found the nearest table and took a seat, trying not to assume the worst. But how else could I perceive what I'd just seen? It could have been a mistake, though I was so shocked and hurt and angry that I couldn't imagine how. Maybe she'd explain herself to me. Or maybe she'd tell me what actually happened. Maybe.

Leigh returned not long after, finding me at the table. Smiling like nothing had happened, she pulled me up and led me to dance. Not once, for the remainder of the evening, did she suggest that anything was out of the ordinary, nor did she explain herself. And I couldn't help but wonder how I had the worst luck with women.

This one hurt way more than the last time because it wasn't just anyone – it was Leigh.

—

A year and a half ago:

"Danny mentioned the breakdown you had last week because they didn't have doughnuts, so I, er, brought you these just in case."

Leigh cracked a small smile in the passenger's seat before accepting the box I held out to her. I'd just parked up outside the place where she went to her grief counselling group, having offered to drop her off. It had only been a few months since Matt died, but sometimes, the old Leigh shone back through and it made me feel hopeful that she'd make it through this.

"Thank you," she said genuinely, fingers wavering on top of the box, before she lifted her gaze to meet mine. "And thanks for the ride. You didn't have to."

I shrugged, thumb tapping the steering wheel mindlessly. "I don't mind. I just wanna make sure you get here okay."

She sighed, shaking her head, though a ghost of a smile was on her lips.

"Text me when you're done and I'll be happy to pick you up, too," I added casually.

"Thanks," she repeated, though didn't make a move to leave my car just yet. I didn't rush her.

Sadly, the silence was broken when my phone began to ring and my girlfriend's name flashed on the screen in my car where my phone was connected to. Glancing at Leigh, I just about made out the eye-roll she did.

"Sorry," I apologised, before declining the call instantly.

"Why d'you do that? Could've been urgent," she said with a clipped tone.

Oh, no, I thought. Whenever she used that tone, it meant she was picking a fight.

"I'm here with you," I said like it was obvious, hoping that one thing didn't ruin the moment.

She tensed her jaw, looking down as her hair fell around her face. "Whatever."

Before I could think of a way to make her feel better, the screen lit up again and my ringtone echoed through the car. I winced at the glare Leigh sent to the screen. If looks could kill, my car would be toast.

Declining the call, I looked to her worriedly. "What's wrong, Leigh?"

Her glare fell to me. "Why the hell do you keep declining it? She's calling you for a reason."

I raised my eyebrows. "Because I'm here with you? Alex can wait. I'm taking you to grief group."

"Well, I'm here at grief group," she mocked, turning to face me with an unexplainable frustration.

I didn't understand why she was so touchy all of a sudden. The car ride here, she'd been fine. Just a moment ago, she'd been fine. But now... now she was acting unreasonable.

My phone buzzed in my pocket suddenly, followed by a tone that signalled I had a text. Leigh smiled bitterly, rolling her eyes.

"Let me guess," she muttered. "It's her."

Still very much unable to keep up with her mood swings, I didn't answer. Her gaze snapped to mine as she stared at me with disbelief.

"Why the fuck aren't you checking it?!"

I grimaced, my own exasperation slipping out when I blurted, "I'm a little confused to what you want from me right now, Leigh!" Breathing out slowly, I said, "I'm sorry if this is bothering you. I'll turn off my phone next time."

As if I'd deeply offended her, she raised a brow incredulously. "Are you kidding me? Why would this bother me?"

Okay, I was extremely confused now.

"I don't know," I admitted, bewildered.

"Is that what you think of me? Some clingy bitch who won't let you live your life?"

I widened my eyes. "What?! Leigh! I never said–"

"Sorry if taking me is such a task," she said abruptly, moving to put the box of doughnuts on the dashboard.

"I never said that," I told her sternly.

"You didn't have to. I know already. I'm just a burden on everyone."

She got out of the car and slammed the door shut behind her. Meanwhile, my confusion was still trying to make out what the hell just happened.

"Don't bother picking me up," she said through the open window of the passenger's door. A scowl was on her face as she added, "You should go spend time with Alex. She's probably missing you."

Breathing out, I leaned back into my seat and watched her walk away and to the entrance of the building. When she acted like this – so push and pull with her emotions – I was so conflicted. What could possibly be going on in her mind that she managed to flip everything that just happened? A complete 180?

Knowing she'd just need some time to cool off, I shook my head and focused on leaving. But then I remembered my phone went off and pulled it out to see what was so important. Aside from two missed calls from Alex, I saw I had a voicemail, too, not a text.

Grumbling fo myself, still disgruntled by Leigh's attitude, I raised the phone to my ear to have a listen, whilst hoping it wasn't actually anything life-threatening.

At first, all I could hear was some very faint laughing and vague noises, kind of like material rubbing together and breathing. I assumed Alex had left me a voicemail without even realising since I'd done that countless of times to other people, having dropped my phone in my bag without realising it was still on. But then the noises became more distinct and I made out words.

"Jake, stop messing about," a voice said, whom I instantly recognised as my girlfriend.

I furrowed my brows. Jake? Jake as in the guy she worked with Jake?

"If you stop teasing me then maybe I will," a gravelly yet devious voice responded.

My throat went dry when I heard more laughter before it went quiet. It didn't take a genius to understand what was happening, especially when the moans that followed echoed in my ear, begging me not to forget.

Unable to listen anymore, I hung up and threw my phone onto the passenger's seat. Tears welled in my eyes as I glanced over at it hesitantly, almost wishing it hadn't even existed. And as much as I didn't want to accept the glaring fact, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

She was cheating on me.